#And this is speaking as someone who started from a position of defending it because I wanted the help it promised
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my masks
hey there buckaroos. due to all of the attention the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION situation has gotten i am going to take a minute to talk about my personal way as an autistic buckaroo. im going to tell you about my masks.
im doing this for a few reasons, some are good FUN reasons full of love and some are not so great.
lets start with the GOOD STUFF. first of all, i am talking about this because speaking on my way can help other buckaroo feel more comfortable speaking on there own way, ESPECIALLY if they are good at ‘passing’ for neurotypical like chuck is.
unfortunately the NOT SO GREAT reasons im talking about all this dang stuff are two fold. reason one: i have been put into a position of having to explain and justify my needs and boundaries by the TXLA. this is not something that i WANT to be taking up all of my time, but when large organizations do not make space for those who they have pledged to support, it puts us smaller buckaroos into position where were have to defend our existence. it is not plesent but it is necessary.
the second NOT SO GREAT reason is that ‘passing’ bisexual and autistic people like myself are ALWAYS just seconds from being gatekept from folks both outside and inside these communities. there will probably be a day on chucks deathbed where i take off my mask and say hello to this timeline (mostly so you can all see how handsome i am under here but I DIGRESS). i KNOW with absolute certainty (the same way other bi and autistic buckaroos are probably nodding along right now) that when that day comes i will STILL be accused of ‘not being real’ and ‘faking’ because i ‘dont look autistic’ and i have a beautiful ladybuck partner in sweet barbara.
ALL THAT IS TO SAY, i am taking a moment today to talk FOR THE RECORD about my neurodigence and my particular needs. hopefully i will not have to keep diving this deep every time an organization takes a discrimantory action against me, but i will also say this: at least it is a good fight on an important battlefield
anyway buds, here is the story of my way on the spectrum
when i was a young buckaroo i knew that my thought process was different. i could socialize easily, which is unique in contrast to many autistic buds (it is a spectrum after all), but my social ease was for an interesting reason. I ALWAYS KNEW WHAT OTHERS WERE ABOUT TO SAY. it was like a strange ‘human game’ where someone would say one thing and i would think ‘well you actually mean something else’ in a sort of logical way (this is why i later related to DATA from star trek so dang much). at first i remember thinking ‘well i am just NOT going to play along with this human game’. i quickly learned neurotypical buckaroos do not like this, that there is a BOB AND WEAVE to social interactions that must be learned.
later i realized ‘actually if i WANT to make friends and prove love is real then i can do this like an expert because i can SEE the game where most cant’. this got chuck many buds and took me on many adventures. please understand, i am not saying these connections are not important to me, they are just different. they are full of love, but i express this in my own unique way.
HOWEVER, while growing up i felt disconnected from this timeline in other ways, like an alien or a reverse twin trotting along in a world that is not quite my own. i did not feel emotions the same way my buds did. they would get upset over the ‘human game’ interactions and i would not be moved at all, HOWEVER i could see the way sunlight hit a window and start crying my dang eyes out over the beauty. so my emotion was still there and VERY STRONG, i just felt it in more existential ways (like hearing the call of the lonesome train). these days that feeling has progressed to where i am pretty much in a constant blissed out state of cosmic emotional connection (make of that last sentence what you will, but it is the truth). when i make existential posts online i am not just FIRING OFF SOME CONTENT, i really mean every word. this is really my trot.
anyway as a young buckaroo these feelings made me worry sometimes. i thought about various mental health dianosises and marked the parts and pieces that matched with myself. am i this? am i that? sometimes, instead of just being’ different’ i worried i might actually be ‘wrong’.
when i saw david byrne on letterman in my younger days i immediately recognized something connected to myself. i thought ‘wow this is the mystery being solved before my very eyes.’ i could hear it in the music of talking heads too. i started doing research and realized that i might be on autism spectrum, something that was later confirmed by a therapist (back then the diagnosis was called asperger's). it was a glorious and fulfilling moment. i was SO EXCITED TO BE AUTISTIC LIKE MY HERO. i felt very cool because of it, and i still feel very cool because of it.
one of the big reasons i talk so much about being autistic these days is because i want to make sure OTHER buckaroos can have that same moment that i did. they can see chuck and think ‘wow i really like this autistic artist, maybe being autistic is cool’
so what does an average day WITHOUT wearing the pink bag look like for me?
my thought process is exactly like ROSE from CAMP DAMASCUS, which is part of why i wrote the book. we have the same stim (complex order of finger taps), we prepare for social interactions the same way, we analyze things in the same logical trot that neurotypical people might think feels ‘detached’ but for me feels natural (certain reviews of camp damascus are very funny to me in this way. you can tell when a reader is just very confused by existing in an autistic brain for 250 pages.)
from the outside you would not be able to tell that i am on the spectrum. in fact you would probably find me very socially adept.
the problem is, all of that masking can take its toll. i spent years trotting in and out the emergency room, talking to confused doctors who could not figure out the chronic phantom tension and pain that radiated through my body. i eventually accepted the fact that i would either live a life constantly on heavy painkillers or just stop living altogether.
eventually, however, i started noticing a correlation between the way that i felt, and the space that i allowed for chuck and the pink mask. i was exercising that tension, allowing my mental mask of neurotypical existence to take a rest. i started practicing physical therapy and this time THE RESULTS STUCK because i was approaching from two sides, MIND AND BODY. after a while, i got my pain down to about 5 percent of what it once was. i still have flare ups in times of stress, but the healing has been very real and life changing.
lets get VERY specific now. if i attended the TXLA confrence without a mask and gave my talk i can tell you this: i would do a dang good job. i can work the heck out of a crowd and (not to reveal too much about my secret way) I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO DO THIS ON OCCASION VERY WELL. however, going home from this event i would very likely be in pain. i would likely need to do physical therapy. i would likely need to stim for a while. i would NOT be emotionally fullfilled in the same way. in other words, without my pink mask i can charm the heck out of buckaroos, but THE SPACE OF CHUCK TINGLE IS NOT THE SPACE FOR THAT. the pink bag is a place for me to not have to put up with that tension. it is a place for me to unmask mentally by masking physically.
this pink bag space SAVED MY LIFE and i am not going to risk blurring these lines. if and when that ever happens it will be MY decision, not someone elses. that is my boundary. the part of me that neurotypically masks could handle a library conference in a purely technical sense, but the part of me that chuck represents absolutely cannot and should not be asked to do that without the pink bag. unfortunately, the complexity of this point makes it even MORE difficult for me to think about and takes up even more of my time, because it forces me to START QUESTIONING MYSELF and my own needs. to be honest, that is the most insidious part of other people questioning your identify and refusing to accept your accommodation needs without ‘proof’.
the thing is, while all of this discussion of disability and accessibility is important, i have a much larger point to make by writing these words.
a conference should not uninvite someone with an unusual physical presentation or a strange way of speaking REGARDLESS of it being classified as a disability. it does not matter WHY i look the way that i look and wear what i wear. i should not have to spend all day writing this post instead of writing my next book, just because my sensibilities are unique and my presentation is unusual.
fortunately the solution is very simple: let other people be themselves. its not hurting you to simply accept and nod at the buckaroos you think look strange. let us exist
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Sure maybe you wanna say that the "suck my dick and stop being a baeddel" copypasta anons were originally sent by a couple of trolls or whatever but the amount of people I see defending them is very clear fucking proof that the sentiment exists. There is a lot of preaching about trans unity right now, but as is often the case, if someone demands unity while refusing to do even the bare minimum for you (in this case disavowing the horrifyingly misogynistic posts and calling out some of the people who maintain such positions instead of defending them) and only call for unity when you speak out against their abuse, then they're not looking for unity. They want you to shut the fuck up. You never see these same people calling for unity when there's a harassment campaign against trans women. You don't see them defending trans women when our words are misinterpreted in as bad of a way as possible.
And before someone accuses me of being a baeddel terf or whatever: I am not saying we need some kind of transfem separatist movement or that trans unity is impossible or undesirable. I am not saying that transmascs are doomed to be violent misogynists. I do have some very nice transmasc mutuals (all of which uncoincidentally are communists lol) who I do appreciate and feel actual solidarity with because they aren't transmisogynists and because I can expect them to have the backs of the transfem community whe the newest transmisogynistic harassment campaign starts on this dogshit website.
A growing problem on here is the continuous dilution and rejection of feminism and even some of the most basic feminist positions in favour of positions that would be perfectly at home in a 2016 antifeminist mra youtuber's videos if it wasn't for the pseudo-progressive tone of the message. It is what has lead to "you should shut up about transmisogyny and suck my dick", a position championed by "genderpunks" and transandrophobia truthers. The drift from understanding the basic premise that we live in a patriarchal and misogynist society to "well, men have it bad too, so who's to say what the real gender dynamics are like" and even "men have it bad too, specifically because they are men" has erased a lot of progress on this website and allowed this kind of thing to happen.
The way to close the gap and achieve trans unity is not to ask for silence from trans women speaking against the abuse done to us or to pretend that gender dynamics do not exist politically, but to take steps towards solidarity with us and speak out against transmisogynists and to push back against antifeminist rhetoric.
This post, obviously is aimed at people who are genuinely interested in trans unity, not people who scold others about trans unity whenever trans women have a problem with the way we are treated.
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a love letter from you to you 💓
i’d appreciate if you check out my patreon! thank you sm for taking the time to take interest in my readings ☺️💓
• pile one •
‘you’re so intelligent. so focused and direct with how you manage your life. the way that you perceive the world is clear-sighted and knowledgable. some people may say that you’re ‘too cold’ or ‘too cutthroat’ but i believe that they just don’t see the value of your mind. of your insight and the ability to curate foresight. i admire how you can always see how somethings going to work out. or how something’s going to end based on probabilities and information that you’ve collected about said thing or person. i admire how you use your voice and your mind as a weapon that others don’t want to mess with. and i love how you have a strong sense of morality that you stick to. i feel pride whenever you speak up for the sake of implementing justice. whenever you defend yourself or another. it takes a certain type of brave person to do that, and there doesn’t seem to be many around you. to stand on your own for the sake of honouring your sense of right or wrong is an extremely strong thing to do. you’re not a follower like the rest. you’re not someone who prioritises fitting into a group of people in society who most of the time don’t even like nor respect themselves. you’ll always be seen as a threat because of this, but it’s one of my favourite aspects about your personality. your mind is a unique one.’
• pile two •
‘my favourite things about you are your boundaries. it shows that you care for yourself. you respect yourself and your limits. you’re aware of what you can and can’t take and ensure to protect yourself from breaking point. you’ve had to constantly defend yourself from people who turned on you. from people who acted like they had your back. but once they showed their true face, you had no problem with putting up barriers between you and them. you don’t fuck around with yourself. i love it. as well as your determination to do whatever you feel like you need to do to protect yourself despite everyone else’s opinions that may disagree with what you do. i love how you’re your own priority. you don’t wait on anyone else to prioritise you for you. you’re your own defender. your own protector. and once you decide to slam those boundaries in place, you don’t budge from them. you’re a person of your word. you keep promises to yourself. loyalty to yourself. and i respect that.’
• pile three •
‘you’re always balancing the scales. keeping the score and making sure that both positive and negative karma comes to those who deserve either. some people think that you’re being pretentious, because they don’t know what it’s like to have a strong sense of justice. a strong understanding of what’s right and wrong to do to another human being. a lot of these people do understand - but they don’t care. i find it so funny when they miraculously start caring once they come across you though. you’re literally walking karma. you speak nothing but the truth - unbiased and fair towards people. regardless of how people get triggered by this. you’re a peacemaker at heart, and you just want to make sure that energies in your life stay in balance. you have such a balanced mind yourself. the way that you can view someone who you might not be so fond of in the most accurate way possible. no biases. if someone deserves props, you’ll give it to them - regardless of how you feel about them personally. and the same applies to when people need to be held accountable for their bullshit. you’re genuine. not controlled by your ego but in control of your ego instead. you’re too mature for a lot of people around you, but that’s not your problem. you always do what you feel is right. and in a world like this, i admire your persistence at this.’
#pick a card#psychic readings#pac#tarot reading#pick a photo#tarot#pac reading#pick a picture#pick a pile
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World Cup V
Hardersson x Daughter!Reader
Part of The Big Adventures Universe
Summary: Your first World Cup
Everyone dreams of scoring a goal in the World Cup final. Hell, everyone dreams of scoring in even the qualifying rounds for the World Cup.
But, to you, it was almost certainly going to be a dream.
You were goalkeeper. You didn't score goals. You stopped them.
It was your whole job.
Your first World Cup was an honour. You were still young but it had been timed perfectly. When you were first called up to join Sweden's team, it was as the third keeper.
The two keepers before you had retired just before the selection for the World Cup squad. Two new keepers for the squad (both older than you) had been selected but you were the number one - a combination of your talent, training and just how many more international caps you had over your counterparts.
Coach Emma had been wary about putting you as the first choice but your performances at Arsenal spoke for themselves. There wasn't much she could do. No one else seemed to quite fit the bill like you did.
It had been a hard won road with two rounds of penalties in the knockout stage that you refused to be cowed by.
It all came down to this.
Sweden vs England.
You recognised a few of the girls from playing in the WSL and you gave them each a tense smile as you run through warmups. You sit in your cubby during the last team talk where Emma speaks about the game plan and how much work this will be and how much everyone needs to give it their all. You put on Zećira's old World Cup gloves. You flex your hands before clenching.
You replace her's with your own and roll your shoulders.
You walk out to the cheers of the crowd and take your position.
England are out with a vengeance and you make a few daring saves in the first half but it's mainly Sweden who dominate possession.
You're deadlocked in nil-nil throughout the first half and then the second half.
You leak into nine minutes of injury when one of your midfielders is dispossessed. You can hear Coach Emma yelling something at your defenders but you don't look to see the disarray of your backline. An England kit comes streaking up your left wing. She shoots but you're not worried because you already know that she has a tendency to shoot wide.
You collect the ball for a goal kick and one of England's finest starts a run towards you, to put on the pressure.
You could think of nothing but making sure this forward didn't get anywhere near your box or your ball.
You booted it up the pitch.
To be honest, it was an accident.
It hadn't been you trying anything. All you could think about was making sure England didn't even have a chance to score a goal.
You assumed one of your forwards would pick it up - some of them had this uncanny ability to know what you would do before you did.
Either way, you watched the ball sail over everyone's head...
The keeper was about as far off her line as she could be.
It sailed over her head, bounced and rolled into the bottom right corner.
You freeze in shock.
You hadn't meant to do that.
The crowd behind you screamed and you didn't have time to think before you were completely dogpiled by your teammates.
"Get off!" You laugh, trying to shake them off.
"There's no chance now!" Someone says.
"Keep them away from my goal and then there will be no chance," You reply, still completely trapped.
"Which goals is yours again?" Someone else teases," Because I think you've staked a thorough claim on England's too."
Your cheeks flush red and you bat her away. "Shut up."
"Never!" Someone declares," I'm pretty sure our goalkeeper just won us the game! You're never hearing the end of this!"
"Go away," You laugh," Go on. We've still got a few more minutes to play. Keep them off my goal and I'll let you talk about it all you want."
And they do keep England off your goal.
You sink to your knees in shock as you're dogpiled again. Swedish is flowing easily into your ears but you can't understand any of it. You slowly get to your feet and walk strangely calmly over to the stands.
You pass Coach Emma on the way. She's smiling, clapping you on the back. You think she says something too but you're too busy listening to the roaring of blood in your ears.
You hop the barrier and move into Momma's arms.
She holds you nice and tight as you still stare in shock. You think you're crying but you're numb to most things.
Momma's talking but her words are just static in your ears as you're moved from her to Morsa to moster Frido and then finally to Zećira.
You come back into the present when you see her. Shakily, you remove your gloves and hold them out to her.
She smiles and takes them. "I'm so proud of you. Best keeper in the world."
More tears slip down your cheeks. Your voice breaks. "Thank you."
"So proud of you," Morsa says as she and Momma appear over your shoulders," Clearly you're just like your Momma. Scoring goals."
"Is was an accident," You say softly.
"And it was a perfect accident," Momma says," I couldn't have done it better myself."
You laugh a little wetly. "Well," You say," I must have picked it up from all those times you kicked at me in the garden."
"Champion of the world!" Moster Frido declares, clapping you on the back and planting a kiss on your head," World Champion! Best keeper in the world!"
"Well," Momma says," This keeper needs to head back down to receive her medal. Go on, off you go." She pushes you away lightly.
You hop the barrier again and line up with the others.
There's a sense of pride as you walk across the stage, receive your medal and kiss the trophy.
You feel a little shaky as the trophy is lifted and you celebrate, screaming out your victory for the whole world to see.
You jump around with your teammates, each of them strongarming you into taking a picture with you and the trophy.
By the time you manage to get away, you're jogging over to the England side. You strip your shirt and hold it up into the crowd.
A hand reaches down to take it.
You look up.
Leah stares down at you. She leans over the railing.
"I should be mad at you," She says," But that was the best goal I've seen in a while. I'm very proud of you. Are you sure I can't convince you to stay?"
You look down bashfully and confess," I think Arsenal's getting a bit too small for me."
Leah laughs. "Yeah, I reckon that too." She pulls your shirt over her head. "You'll come back and visit?"
You bump your fist against hers. "Well, North London is red."
She grins at you. "Go on, World Cup winner. Off you go. I'll see you around."
"Bye, Leah."
You jog towards the Sweden side of the crowd again, pumping up your fist as people scream your name.
You skid to a stop in front of Morsa. You drop your medal over her neck.
"For you," You say," For all the World Cup medals you gave me."
#woso x reader#hardersson x reader#pernille harder x reader#pernille harder#magdalena eriksson x reader#magdalena eriksson#woso community#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso#The Big Adventures Universe
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Could you write leah x alessia x reader where less getts a yellow card in a match and y/n isn't best pleased about it so leah tries to get them to make.uo with eachother
she just hiiits different in an arsenal kit. also PSA just because i write this does not mean i actually ship less x leah in real life! also decided to make it a red card for the extra drama
seeing red II a.russo x l.williamson
you anxiously bounced your leg from where you sat watching your girlfriends play at the emirates, sighing with a shake of your head as alessia was given a yellow card for shoving someone in the back.
ever since she'd joined arsenal her confidence on the pitch had clearly grown and you weren't the only one who'd noticed that she was more aggressive in her style of play.
so had liverpool who were clearly targeting both her and katie, the infamous card receivers of the team their reputation proceeded them. katie was already on a yellow but had at least calmed down somewhat, knowing that next came the dreaded red.
but that didn’t stop them. so whether it be pulling shirts, taking out legs, yanking on hair, liverpool were doing all they could under quite a laid back referee to wind both girls up, and it was working.
you watched as alessia and several of her team mates started to protest the card, the blonde throwing her hands around and reenacting how she was pulled back by her hair just a few moments before the shove. which admittedly the liverpool played had acted up in their dramatic falling to the ground and front roll.
you bit your lip nervously before leah finally stepped in, gently pushing alessia away and pulling her to the side, getting in her ear about hopefully calming down as kim stepped in to speak with the referee, obviously apologizing on her players behalf as he nodded and blew the whistle for play to resume.
you watched with a frown as alessia shoved leah away with an annoyed shake of her head, your other girlfriend sighing and jogging back to her position as alessia readied herself to play on.
you hoped she'd calm down, surely now she was on one card she knew she just needed to suck it up and be careful. there was only ten minutes plus stoppage time left, you knew she could do it you just hoped alessia felt the same.
turns out, she did not.
within five minutes of the first card you watched as one of the players held her back by her shirt as she shot for goal, meaning the blonde went tumbling to the ground and kicked it out instead earning the opposition a goal kick.
well that seemed to just about do it.
within a few seconds alessia was back to her feet, rounding on the liverpool defender and grabbing her shirt in her balled fists, getting in her face angrily as the girl held her hands up clearly trying to show she wasn't involving herself.
then things got worse. having had enough alessia harshly pushed the girl to the ground, sending her falling onto her ass before storming off, ignoring the referee's whistles after her, already knowing what was coming.
sure enough came the second yellow, and then the red, your girlfriend already making her way to the tunnel, shoving leah away who tried to comfort her.
your lips pursed into a thin line of disappointment at the older girls behavior, having warned her multiple times about this new often reckless attitude and how it was going to bite her in the ass.
and here the proof was in the pudding.
thankfully even now down to ten beth managed to score, putting them up 3-1 and clenching the win. nine minutes of injury time added on to play and you watched with wide eyes as your other girlfriend raced down the pitch for the final corner of the game.
then with a perfectly angled kick from frida, your blonde lover put her head to it and it sailed into the back of the net. you cheered loudly and proudly, blowing leah a kiss as her eyes found yours with a cheeky grin and the whistle blew to end the match.
waiting for your girlfriends to both join you in the family and friends box you busied yourself chatting with their team mates loved ones. knowing alessia would likely be getting quite the talking to not only from leah but her coach, it didn't surprise you as you were one of the only few left waiting.
eventually you spotted leah enter first, making a beeline right for you with a beaming smile. "well hello beautiful." the blonde rasped, picking you up into a hug and spinning you around as you grinned, pecking her a few times on the lips and mumbling how proud you were of her.
"you're looking very waggy today my girl." leah winked, nodding to her jersey which sat on your top half, alessia's puffer on over the top of that as the prada sunglasses you'd stolen from one of them sat on top of your head.
"waggy hm?" you grinned, spotting alessia entering over leahs shoulder, glancing around until she spotted you both. leah noticed the way your face changed at the sight, sighing as she realised you were clearly upset with the other girl.
"hey love, take it easy on her." leah warned quietly in your ear as alessia joined you both. "hi gorgeous." the tall blonde grinned in your direction opening her arms for a hug, chewing her gum with a smug smile that was annoyingly attractive.
"can we go please?" you directed the question to leah, grabbing your bag and completely blanking alessia who scoffed. "what did i do?" she asked her other girlfriend with a frown as you brushed past her heading for the exit.
"you know exactly what you did less." leah rolled her eyes, gesturing for the two of them to follow you as alessia huffed.
"it's not my fault they were all picking on me today, you even said i was being targeted!" alessia defended herself to leah who only hummed, having already ripped into her girlfriend about the card once the match had finished.
"yes and i also warned you about retaliating being giving them exactly what they wanted. but did you listen? no. you big dope!" leah shoved the taller girl as they hurried after you into the elevator.
"so unfair." alessia mumbled, crossing her arms and you felt her eyes burning into you longingly but you held firm, leaning into leah who wrapped an arm around your shoulders.
as the three of you reached alessia's car you kissed the oldest blonde goodbye, having driven yourself this morning while they'd driven together needing to be there earlier. "hey!" alessia called after you with a frown as you quickly walked off to your car, again completely blanking her.
"oh you have some serious grovelling to do." leah chuckled in amusement as she slid into the passenger seat of the mercedes, alessia shooting her a dirty look as she slammed her door closed.
"help me." the younger of the two requested with a pout, leah rolling her eyes and leaning over to kiss it away. "fine. but you still need to make it up to her, you know how worried she already gets about injuries the last thing she needs on her mind is worrying about cards and fist fights love." leah warned sternly buckling herself in.
"i pushed her over i wasn't gonna get in a fist fight with her! well...not yet."
~
returning home both girls arrived after you, your car already parked in the driveway as they made their way inside. as alessia struggled to take her trainers off leah ventured away to find you, seeking you out where you stood in the kitchen.
you glanced over with a soft smile seeing leah enter, the older girl kissing your cheek hello and snagging a protein smoothie out of the open fridge where you'd been trying to work out what to cook for dinner with what you had.
alessia entered next, leah sending her a look as she pulled herself up to sit on the counter and your other girlfriend cautiously made her way over to you. when you refused to look over she attempted to go in for a hug, grunting as something shoved into her stomach.
looking down she realised you held out a protein smoothie effectively blocking her from touching you, which she accepted as you closed the fridge and moved over to leah. you leant against the counter in between the blondes legs, pulling out your phone and resting your head back against her chest as you flicked through for recipe ideas.
"baby please come on. i'm sorry!" alessia put down the drink and frowned at you from across the room. "are you?" you spoke sharply, glancing at her as she hesitated. "well-" the brief pause was enough for you as you scoffed, quickly exiting the kitchen as they both heard you flop down into the lounge instead.
"yeah nice one, genius!" leah rolled her eyes, hopping down from the counter and shoving the taller girl with a shake of her head. "what! i'm sorry i got a red for it but i'm not sorry for standing up for myself. did you want me to lie to her?" alessia huffed, annoyed at your lack of attention toward her.
"she can still hear you, idiots!" you yelled out from the lounge with a roll of your eyes, flicking on the tv to drown them out.
"go and shower, i'll talk to her. and when you get out this contains a brain. try to use it yeah?" leah knocked harshly on alessia's forehead as the younger girl smacked her hands away with a scowl, storming off to the bathroom.
"don't." you warned as leah appeared at the end of the lounge, looking down at you with an amused smile. "what?" leah feigned innocence, gesturing for you to sit up as she sat down, your head falling to her lap as her fingers carded through your hair.
"where's this come from babe? we've both been carded before." leah asked quietly after a few moments, still playing with your hair as you sighed and rolled onto your back, looking up at her. "i know. but they were clearly trying to target her today, and the more she gives in and kicks off the more thats going to happen." you started to explain where you were coming from.
"and if that keeps happening and she gets on the wrong end of a poor tackle or something she might..." you trailed off as leah nodded in understanding, knowing that ever since she'd done her acl your worries for them both being injured had grown ten fold.
now knowing your anger was coming from a place of worry, leah bent down to tenderly kiss your forehead as you sighed. "you need to tell her that then sweets, she might actually listen to you." leah cautioned as you nodded, knowing she was right.
"we're letting this overshadow the fact someone scored today though!" you remembered suddenly, moving to sit up and straddle the blondes lap. "oh you noticed that did you? was nothing!" leah waved it off casually with a shrug before sending you a beaming grin, pulling you in for a kiss.
her hand coming to rest on the back of your head deepening the kiss you both failed to notice alessia return, the striker rolling her eyes at the sight of the two of you making out, jealously pumping through her veins as she threw herself down on the other end of the lounge with a scoff.
the noise caused you to pull away, resting your head on leahs shoulder and looking to the grumpy blonde across from you. "go on." leah murmured in your ear, patting your bum with a firm look as you nodded and stood up.
alessia looked up as you kicked her feet apart, moving to stand between them and stare down at her with an annoyed look on your face. though as promised you explained just why you were so frustrated with her, features softening as guilt flooded alessia's at the confession.
the striker was quick to apologise, this time sincerely and with a promise she would try her very best to be more careful and considerate.
with a nod of acceptance you collapsed into her awaiting arms which wrapped around you, your legs wrapping around her waist as she shuffled forward, squeezing you tightly and mumbling how much she loved you in your shoulder as your hands pressed at the back of her head and you nodded.
moving your hands to gently rest on her cheeks you kissed her sweetly, thumbs caressing her jaw as the striker kissed your palms with a soft smile, the tall girl melting into a puddle every time you showed her any sort of affections.
“but don’t entirely lie gorgeous, you find it quite hot when we get angry on the pitch.” alessia grinned knowingly, her large hands moving to squeeze your thighs teasingly. “maybe just a tiny bit.” you left millimetres in between your fingers making alessia laugh, one of your favourite sounds.
"excuse me. third girlfriend is feeling a bit left out here!" leah interrupted the sweet moment from the other end of the lounge with a frown as alessia's grip on you tightened and your head fell to her shoulder, glancing to leah with an amused smile.
“come here then stroppy.” gesturing for her to move closer the three of you shuffled around until you were comfortable, your body wedged in between them as your top half rested against leah, your legs draped across alessia's lap as the girl massaged your feet.
your girls.
#leah williamson x reader#alessia russo x reader#woso x reader#woso blurbs#woso imagine#alessia russo#woso#engwnt#leah williamson#woso fanfics
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I think Harvey would be thw type of person who makes love specially when he’s feeling sad. Like he needs comfort and to be as close to his s/o as possible, fingers intertwined and all that nice shit. How do you think reader would comfort him after he had a discussion with someone of his family?
{Oh, My Human Heart} Harvey Specter x Reader
So my mind went to [SEASON 8 EPISODE 5 SPOILER WARNING] where Harvey went up to Boston to defend his brother against his wife's divorce. That shit crushed my soul man, so this is based on that! Enjoy!! Title is a lyric from this song.
Word Count: 3,191
Warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, angst, smut, Season 8 Episode 5 Spoilers
Summary: When Harvey returned home from visiting his brother unexpectedly, there is an obvious weight to his shoulders as he slumps inside. And it’s your mission to find out what it is and wipe it from his memory.
Tagging: @kjbg-fantasymoon (your request is next babes <3)
~~~~~~~
The door slammed. Hard. Concerningly hard.
“Harvey?” You shouted out into the kitchen, taking off the towel from your shoulder and set it on the counter. No one responded. Worry coursed through you, and you grabbed the knife from the cutting board. Just in case.
Your husband rounded the corner and you jumped, but let the fear drain from your held breath and set the knife down. “Jesus Harvy, you could’ve… hey, what are you doing back here?”
Harvey looked indecipherably pissed. He had hard creases in his face and his lips pressed in that flat line that meant someone was about to see that side of him that meant he was gonna raise hell. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out, and he let his hands fall to his sides.
“Okay, okay come sit, love,” You reached for him and guided him to the island. “Do you want to talk about it? A distraction? To be left the hell alone?”
That communication strategy had worked wonders when Harvey came home from a lethal case. All the details you knew about this one involved his brother and a divorce from his wife. It had already shattered Harvey’s heart to hear they were splitting up, but this was… this was rage. Raw fury.
“I am going to open my mouth and let the floodgates go with it, and I just need you to try and make sense of it. Because for reasons only known by Jesus-fucking-Christ himself can this be possible.”
You just nodded, letting Harvey take some deep breaths. You noticed his hands were shaking. He was shaking. What the fuck happened in Boston?
“Marcus called me up there to represent him for his divorce,” Harvey started, thumbs in his eyes. “He told me that it was because she had an affair. I was ready to go kick down her door and take their kids away myself. Turns out, he lied to me. She was divorcing him because he started gambling again and he told Haley not to tell Katie.”
Your blood ran cold, all remorse leaving your body for Marcus. How could he fucking do that?
“So, tell me this Yn. Why would my own god damn brother, who I spent my money on to build him a dream restaurant, lie to my fucking face? Not once. Not twice. Four times. Four opportunities he had to tell me and he waited till the last fucking second. I-I can’t even begin to describe how sick it makes me feel to have Haley be put in that position.”
“It is wildly unfair for her, and for their son,” you felt awful for them. They were the sweetest kids and didn’t deserve to have that weight on their shoulders.
“I mean, was he not apart of the fucking family when mom did that to me? Did he suddenly just show up on our doorstep one night looking for a place to sleep like a stray cat? No, he didn’t. He’s my fucking brother. He was there when mom did it to me. And he saw what it did to our family. What it did to me. He was the one trying to fix our fucking fucked up family. To piece it together after the fall out and he expects me to do the same when he did the one thing worse than practically fucking cheating on her.”
“Harvey I think that's a little-”
“Now he’s destroying his own life. No, not even destroying, destroyed. He has ruined all chances of working things out between him and Katie and honestly, I can’t be fucking bothered to watch it crumble to the ground. And the worst part of it is he had the audacity to ask me to win this case. He doesn’t deserve to win let alone ask me. What a selfish, lying son of a bitch-”
“Harvey,” you placed a hand on his shoulder to keep him from walking away. He had been moving around animatedly, now up out of his seat and waving around. “Take a deep breath. Please.”
He did.
“Good,” You smiled softly.
He took another. And another. “Sorry… just- sorry.”
“It’s okay,” You came and stood in front of him, hands flat on his chest. “Let’s go and get you changed and we can keep talking through it. If you’d like.”
Though Harvey’s eyes were harsh, that anger wasn’t directed at you. You’ve dealt with him like this on more than one occasion, and you’ve learned to recognize the difference. He didn’t dare look at you the way he is now.
After taking his hand and leading him up stairs, you took your time undressing him so he could be more comfortable. Once upon a time he had told you that the feeling of your hands on him could make him forget anything and everything. It was only in your best interest to do that for him now. To calm him so he could see the full picture.
Starting with his tie, you walked to the closet and hung it up in the empty space from where you picked it out this morning. Much the same with the jacket, tossing his still crisp white-shirt in the laundry. He handed you his belt and shoes, and while you put them away, he took off his dress pants and put on sweats by the time you came back.
“Better?” You asked, placing his hands across your middle.
He smiled, “Better.”
Harvey was still sitting, but he rested his forehead against your stomach, just breathing. With calm hands you massaged his scalp and neck, his shoulders and arms. It was important to give Harvey his space at times like this, letting him speak when he wanted. Otherwise he’d just get defensive and shut down. That was not beneficial to either of you.
“I’m so fucking mad at Marcus, Yn.”
“I know, my love. I know,” You spoke softly, kissing the top of his head. “So am I.”
“I just don’t understand how he could do that after what mom did to me. I thought- I thought we were brothers again.”
His voice cracked, and you could feel the first tear drops soak through your shirt and cool your skin. Your stomach clenched and dropped. You know Harvey and Marcus have been rocky for decades, but since he forgave his mom and started rebuilding their relationship, things naturally got better with Marcus.
So much for all that hard work. And you had been so proud of him for taking those steps. And you knew the toll it took on him. Now it was all back at square one.
“I am so sorry, Harvey.”
“What the fuck do I do?”
You paused for a long while. “I don’t know.”
When he looked up at you, eyes all red and bleary, you wanted to fly to Boston and smack Marcus yourself for putting Harvey right back where he was when he was sixteen. He may not have been the one asked to keep a secret this time, but he knows what it’s like to be in that situation. To feel so pinned and powerless. The looming decision of whether he should betray his mom or dad, a constant threat, and either outcome will ruin the family.
“Are you up for listening to my ideas or do you still need to get things off your chest?” All you got was a shrug and a few spilled tears. “Okay, there’s no rush.”
“I just don’t know what to do, Yn. I have no fucking clue what I’m supposed to do. I want to beat him into the dirt the most. I want to hold Haley and tell her that none of this was ever her fault and she is not the one to blame. Goddamn do I want to hug Haley right now…”
You had to close your eyes. You didn’t want to see Harvey in this position, especially because you knew what this did to him. It stirred up all those memories and emotions from decades ago. Now they were all at the surface, controlling every one of his thoughts. And there isn’t a whole lot that you can do to get them to stop.
“I think you’re angry.”
“You’re goddamn right I’m angry,” Harvey huffed, making you let out a weak chuckle.
“And I also think that I know you when you’re angry. And that you don’t think clearly when you are. So, how about we distract you for a while and then we get some sleep. Then, maybe in the morning, we lay it all out again and go over what we know. Look at all the facts and whatnot. Because, despite your very much warranted anger towards Marcus, he is still your brother. And family means more than anything to you, Harvey. I can’t let you spend the next thirty years in regret for not trying. You owe that to yourself. Not anyone else.”
“I don’t even know where to start with all this bullshit.”
“That’s where I come in,” You smiled, sitting in his lap with one leg on each side of his. “Look Harvey, you have every single right to be upset. I am pissed at Marcus for doing that to Haley. But I will not let this drive another cavern between you and him. The two of you have been through enough. He fucked up, and he knows it because you’re Harvey goddamn Specter and you told him he did. But you forgave him once. And you forgave your mom. It is worth a shot to hear him out, and I’m not saying it has to be right away either. Just eventually.”
Harvey’s brown eyes darted around your face, that tight line still on his lips. When you tilted your head and batted your lashes, he sighed out, nodding. “Okay, okay fine you’re right.”
“Of course I am,” your smile made him finally unclench the space between his brows. “It’s because I’m really good at knowing who you are, and knowing how to approach a situation. You’re good at being a kick-ass lawyer and I’m good at taming that kick-ass lawyer.”
“You love it when I let that animal out of the cage,” he smirked, hands stroking down your thighs.
“If you refer to yourself as an animal in a cage again I will walk out that door and spend the night at Donna’s.”
“Okay okay,” he grinned ear to ear, pressing kisses on your cheek, then down your neck. “I’m sorry for being so… hostile. Thank you, Yn. For calming me down.”
“You’re welcome, my love.”
“I don’t know what it is that you do, but you make it all disappear.”
“It’s my secret,” you whispered, kissing his lips. “And I won’t ever tell.”
“I bet I could make you tell me,” Harvey winked and grabbed around your waist, taking you with him when he leaned back.
“Oh, is that a fact?”
“No, but it is a challenge.”
He tangled his hand in your hair, bringing your mouth to his. He tasted like whatever cheap whiskey he had on the plane and mint. You let your body form to his and didn’t mind the way his tongue found yours. Harvey’s hands were gentle as they peeled away the cardigan on your shoulders, tossing it away to be picked up later.
He took his time, slowly stripping you and easing you on your back. You wrapped your legs around his waist and needed to have his mouth on yours again. He was such a good kisser. So thorough and precise with what he wanted to do to you.
And he was always very thorough.
Harvey placed kisses down your chest, down your stomach and to each hip.
“Babe-”
“Shh,” he hushed. “Just let me do what I want. You just lay back and look pretty. Fuck do you look pretty, my love.”
Your heart melted. Normally he had a wicked, dirty tongue but tonight was obviously different. He wanted something to focus on, and if that was going to be you, then so be it. You surely weren’t going to stop him from spreading your knees and tucking his head to your core.
If Harvey could do one thing for the rest of his life, he’d sure have a hard time picking between you and the law. While he loved his work, your mind and body were two things even the high of winning couldn’t compare to. Harvey loved you. Ferociously. With every part of his body he loved you.
His tongue circled your clit, and your hand went in his hair to keep him there. The laugh that tumbled from him was nothing short of star-seeing. One thing about Harvey is if you weren’t satisfied and thensome, neither was he. He loved making you cum on his tongue, loved how you tasted.
It wasn’t long before you warned him you were close, and he just hummed into you, vibrations making you arch up off the bed, tugging equally as hard on his hair as you did the sheets beside you.
“I will never get sick of making you feel good, Yn. I love that I am the one who gets to spend these moments with you.”
“Harvey,” you swooned, cupping his face to bring him back up so you could kiss him. Your scent was strong on his lips and made you only need him that much more. All it took was a few impatient grabs at his shirt to make him take it off so you could finally get your hands on that body of his.
All that time in the boxing gym surely paid off.
Harvey brough your knee up and pushed it flat on the bed, pulling the other one around his hip. He pushed in, chest to chest with you as he sat still for a few moments.
“I love you so much, Yn,” Harvey whispered, thumb training down your cheek, your neck. He slid it all the way down your arm and laced your fingers together, kissing them as he pulled back. He wouldn’t leave your lips alone, not that you wanted that in the slightest. He was all soft words and pleas of desperation. Telling you how good you felt.
It was like your wedding night all over again. When the two of you met, it had been in a fury of hands and tongues. All fast because there wasn’t a second to waste when it finally happened. But on your big day, he laid you down, just like this, and worshiped you all night long.
Every word from his mouth was just him telling you how much you meant to him, his body seconding that omission. He was so dedicated to you, to making you feel good. It was all long, smooth strokes of his body inside yours, the warmth of your combined breaths. Swallowing each other's noises of pleasure.
“I am so in love with you,” Harvey smiled. “I am so fucking in love with you.”
You couldn’t hide your smile if you tried. It wasn’t rare that Harvey was affectionate– per say– but this was an illusive moment. He wine and dined you whenever you asked, you were always his plus one anywhere in the world. But it was these small, yet enormous moments of intimacy that you cherished the most. This was a side of Harvey that took a very long time to bring to the surface. And he too realized the weight of just taking his time and being soft with you.
“I love you too, Harvey,” you whispered against his face, his mouth now busy with the side of your neck. Harvey couldn’t keep his hips slow for long, and they snapped to yours. Air pushed out of your mouth and right into his ear, right where it drove him crazy to hear what he did to you.
“Fuck, my love, if you keep making those sounds this isn’t exactly going to be how I-”
“Now it’s my turn to take care of you,” you responded, locking your ankles together behind his back.
A shiver ran through his shoulders and he dropped to his elbows, hips driving into you faster and faster. Harder. It didn’t take him long to reach his high, fucking you through it. His heart pounded underneath his skin so hard you could feel it. A slight sweat at the back of his head where hair met skin.
When he lifted his head, his eyes looked less… weighted. He looked much more himself. Muc more like Harvey and a little less like Mr. Specter.
You mentally patted yourself on the back.
There wasn’t anything you could do to convince him to not drag you into the shower down the hall. The warmth of the water, the heaviness in your body only made his fingers on your scalp that much better. He kissed all over, giving your ass a loving smack when getting out before wrapping a big towel around the both of you.
“Promise in the morning that we can do this all again and then I can make you a big breakfast?”
“Only if you promise that there will be sausage and bacon,” your eyes were droopy, but the smile reached them anyway.
“Good thing Postmates will go to the grocery store nowadays,” Harvey slipped one of his shirts over your head, straightening it out over your body. “You look so adorable in my clothes.”
“I know, why do you think I wear them when you’re gone?”
“You wear my clothes when I’m gone?”
You pff’ed out some air, “Don’t act like you don’t notice the suspiciously large pile of your laundry in the hamper when you come back.”
“I don’t think you know how happy that makes me, Yn,” Harvey’s smile was nothing short of pure adoration. He was never short on pure adoration when it came to you.
“Yes I do,” You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Why do you think I do it?”
“Because you know me. Really really well.”
“That I do.”
Harvey breathed out, shaking his head. “Thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me for something anyone would do for their husband.”
“Well, in my experience, most wives aren’t nearly as observant or as dedicated as you are, Yn. And I want you to know how much I appreciate you and everything you help me through when I don’t know how to help myself.”
Your eyes melted, much like your heart when he hugged you. Nice and tight and just how you liked them. You always felt impossibly safe with him, and his hugs were impossibly your favorite thing in the world.
Harvey would listen better in the morning. Especially after a good night's sleep. You just hope that all your efforts will lead him in the right direction. And that direction isn’t the clearest right now, and that’s okay. Both of you know it’s okay to not make a decision as big as something like this.
But you know Harvey will try. And that is all you can ask of him.
#harvey specter#harvey specter suits#harvey specter x reader#harvey specter smut#harvey specter fanfiction#suits smut#suits fanfiction#suits fanfic#suits tv#suits
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You Are Still My World
Pairing - Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x Mitchell!reader
Word count - 3,310
Warnings - feelings of abandonment, mentions of Carole & Goose, mentions of death, angst
Summary - 17 years after Bradley took off after your dad pulled his papers, he waltzes right back into your life like nothing ever happened
A/N - hey y'all! sorry it's been a minute since I last uploaded a fic, I was in a slump and y'all's lovely comments managed to bring me out of it. this was an anon request that I hope I did justice because the idea was so cool. As per y'all, please send in requests, feedback and enjoy!!!
As you grew up, the adults that surrounded you always joked that you and Bradley Bradshaw were joined at the hip. Where one of you was, the other would not be far behind. You were the best of friends and you adored Bradley. He was a couple of years older than you but didn’t let it bother him even when people teased him for hanging out with someone who wasn’t in his grade at school and he always bit back, defending you wholeheartedly. Bradley was such a staple in your life that you couldn’t imagine life without him.
Until one day, everything changed.
Your dad, Pete Mitchell, better known as Maverick, pulled Bradley’s papers to the naval academy. You had no idea that he did it until a year after Bradley stopped talking to you. You had seen him on your way to school and waved at him but he just rolled his eyes and continued on his run, making your heart shatter in your chest. You had just been talking with him yesterday, helping him navigate the recent loss of his mother and now he wanted nothing to do with you? Worry and confusion ate away at you the whole school day, since Bradley had just graduated that summer you couldn’t corner him at lunch to get an answer out of him. You now instead had to wait until you could head around to see him at his house. As the day progressed you couldn’t help but wonder if it was just part of his grieving process. You knew anger was one of the five stages when it came to processing grief so maybe he was in that stage and just taking it out on you. Then your thoughts started to shift into more negative ones, and you started to wonder if you did something to upset him the last time you saw him. You replayed every word of the last conversation you had with Bradley and thought about whether anything you said could’ve come across as rude or upsetting to him and you just didn’t know. The second school was over you couldn’t have gotten out of the building any faster and you headed to Bradley’s house, stopping on the path when you noticed that his beautiful blue Bronco was missing from the driveway, indicating to you that Bradley wasn’t home. You chose to bite the bullet and head back home, hoping your dad might have some answers to your questions.
“Hey dad, do you know if I did something to upset Bradley? I saw him on my way to school this morning and he completely blanked me.” You asked as you ate dinner, you had your focus on your plate as you cut up your food so you missed how your dad tensed up at your question.
“No sweetheart, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Maverick replied, smiling softly over at you as he took a sip from his beer bottle as the angry words Bradley had yelled at him earlier echoed in his head repeatedly.
“You sure?” You ask timidly, wanting to know if there was anything you might’ve done that you didn’t notice but your dad did.
“Positive. Give him a little space, I’m sure he’ll come back before the week is up.” He said, his smile warm and encouraging as you nodded and continued to eat your dinner.
You would not speak another word to Bradley Bradshaw until almost twenty years later.
You didn’t follow in your father’s footsteps when you grew up. You instead became an elementary school teacher and found yourself living in San Diego, mere minutes away from Top Gun. You spent most of your childhood growing up in this area so it felt like returning home after coming back after a few years at college and then teaching in Vermont. You had found yourself missing California more than you cared to admit and when you found out about a teaching job at the elementary school near the naval base you knew you had to move back. You figured that not only would it be nice to come back to the place you called home, but since you were a military kid too, you could help the young children with parents in the navy when their parents went away on deployments. You got the job and moved back to San Diego with a smile on your face.
A few months after you got settled into your new job and your new house, you got a call from your dad, telling you that he had been called back to Top Gun to teach a bunch of Top Gun graduates how to fly a mission. You had offered to let him stay with you when he told you but he declined your offer, telling you that he already had quarters to live in but he promised he’d be visiting often. It was nice to have your dad back in town again, he’d been away on a fair few deployments recently so you enjoyed having him around again, and the fact he wouldn’t be flying the mission put you at ease slightly because, from the way he described it, this mission was one of the most dangerous ones he would’ve flown.
What Maverick didn’t tell you, was that Bradley was one of the Top Gun graduates who was a candidate for the mission. He knew that despite how much you tried to hide it behind your anger, you were still hurt by Bradley leaving and cutting you out of his life. And he knew that you still loved and cared for Bradley, and you would hate to hear that he would potentially be putting his life at risk if he was chosen for this mission.
A month after the uranium mission had been completed and Maverick and Bradley had repaired their relationship, you bumped into Bradley again for the first time in seventeen years. Dagger Squadron was now a permanent fixture in San Diego with Maverick staying too, not only for his team but because he reconnected with Penny and started going out again. It was nice to have your dad around permanently, and seeing how happy he was with Penny made you happy too.
You were in the shop when you bumped into Bradley again. You were browsing the aisles, searching for new stationery for your classroom since your spare pens never seemed to return when you lent the pens to your students after they realised, they had lost their own pens. You grabbed a large pack of ballpoint pens and turned around where you quickly collided with another body.
“Oh, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to.” You apologised quickly, steadying yourself as the person you bumped into chuckled.
“No harm done.” Your heart plummeted at that all-too-familiar voice. You lifted your head to see those honey-coloured eyes you had loved so much growing up. Bradley had grown significantly since you last saw him, he’d filled out with muscles, his broad shoulders showing through the Hawaiian shirt he was wearing, evidence to you that he’d inherited his dad’s sense of style. He was now sporting a moustache that reminded you of Goose’s. As you stared at him you couldn’t stop thinking about how much you had missed him and how much of his life you had missed. But those feelings were overtaken by the anger you still held deep down at his abandonment of you. Before Bradley could say anything more, you turned on your heels and retreated, leaving Bradley standing in the middle of the stationary aisle with a confused expression. Bradley did a full sweep of the shop in the hopes he’d find you and be able to talk to you but you had left. Bradley had called Maverick on his way out of the shop, asking why he didn’t tell him that you were in town and why you were ignoring him. Maverick chose to tell Bradley that he wasn’t getting involved, that if he really wanted an answer then he had to talk to you himself. Bradley couldn’t help but groan as he hung up the phone with Maverick, knowing you’d seemingly rather talk to a pack of rabid wolves than talk to him with the way you hightailed it out of the shop. Bradley didn’t know why you were refusing to talk to him, he could’ve sworn the last time he spoke to you everything was okay between the two of you. Yes, he could admit that it had been a while since you last spoke with him but he only avoided talking to you because he was so angry at Maverick that he didn’t want to take anything out on you, and then he moved away to college before reapplying to the naval academy again. Bradley headed home, plotting ways to approach you and get you to talk to him.
After seeing Bradley in the store, you seemed to keep bumping into him everywhere you went. You tried to avoid him, ignoring him calling after you and brushing past him when he attempted to corner you. Every time you did, you felt your heart breaking more and more. You still held so much love in your heart for Bradley and it broke you to walk away from him every time you saw him. But every time you thought about hearing him out, you reminded yourself of the pain you felt when he not only ignored you but moved away without saying a word. You could understand why Bradley had been upset all those years ago, when your dad had told you that he pulled Bradley’s papers you got angry on Bradley’s behalf but soon came to understand your father's reasoning but that didn’t stop you from being at least a little upset that he did it because of the fallout it caused.
After a couple of weeks of you avoiding Bradley, he was reaching his breaking point. He was yearning to have you back in his life after so long without you. He knew he missed you when he left but he didn’t realise the severity of how much he missed you until he saw you again. He eventually figured you weren’t going to talk to him unless he could corner you somewhere. He hated himself for it, but he was growing frustrated with you avoiding him, he was trying to mend the bridge between you, and you were seemingly taking dynamite to the metaphorical bridge and destroying it further. He managed to coerce Maverick into giving him your address. He figured you’d be more comfortable talking to him in the four walls of your house and the worst you could do was slam the door in his face. He decided to wait until a Friday evening, deciding to skip Dagger Squad’s usual get-together at the Hard Deck and instead headed home after training to freshen up before heading to your house. He arrived at your house and walked up towards the house, going over what he wanted to say before he stopped in front of your front door, taking a deep breath before reaching to ring the doorbell.
Your eyebrows furrowed when you heard the ring of your doorbell. Your dad always called or texted before he came around, Penny too. You hadn’t invited anyone around nor had you ordered any food to be delivered, although you were sat on the sofa of your house staring at the takeaway pizza menu. Figuring it was one of your teaching assistants, swinging by to run something by you or check something with you before the weekend officially began, you dragged yourself off the sofa and towards the front door, pulling it open to reveal Bradley on the other side. Your face dropped at the sight of him and you went to close the door but he was quick to brace his hand on the door and prevent it from closing. Despite how much effort you were putting into closing the door, Bradley had more muscle than you and had a much easier time keeping the door open than you were having trying to close the door.
“y/n, please talk to me.” Bradley pleads, his eyes full of concern and sorrow as he stared at you.
“I don’t want to talk to you.” You say firmly, attempting to close the door once more but when he continues to hold the door open you give up, sighing heavily and stalking back towards the living room with Bradley hot on your heels after closing your front door behind him.
“y/n, I’ve been back in San Diego for a couple of months now and you’ve not spoken a word to me since I bumped into you in that shop. I tried to speak to Mav about why you’ve been avoiding me but he won’t tell me so I’ve been trying to talk to you so I can find out what’s going on here because last time we spoke-”
“Was almost twenty years ago Bradley.” You say, a sharp tone to your voice as you turn to face him, folding your arms over your chest as you stare at him.
“I don’t understand. I had to do what I could to get back into the naval academy after your dad pulled my papers. You know he did that, right?” Bradley counters, wanting you to understand why he did what he did.
“He told me a year after you left. I understand why you felt you had to do that but you didn’t need to cut me out like that. Like I meant nothing to you. Who am I kidding? Maybe I was nothing to you.” You scoff, turning away from Bradley when you feel the tears pricking at your eyes.
“y/n…” Bradley starts, aching to reach out and pull you into his arms but held himself back, knowing that was the last thing you wanted him to do.
“You never meant nothing to me.” He manages to continue, watching your movements carefully, seeing how you were fighting to keep the tears back and he silently hated himself for being the cause of them.
“Oh really? Sure felt like I did.” You mutter angrily, turning to walk into the kitchen with Bradley following behind like a lost puppy.
“You know, you meant the world to me. I loved you so much. Still do love you so much, more than I probably should. Growing up you were my best friend, the one person I wanted to spend my time with and you just left without so much as a goodbye. The last time I ever saw you before you left, you rolled your eyes at me when I tried to say hi. I spent a year of my life thinking I had done or said something that drove you off. Dad only told me what he did because he watched me blame myself for a year. Bradley, you broke my heart. But as much as I want to hate you, I can’t. Every single bit of anger I had towards you is gone because seeing you after so long reminded me of how much I love you and how much I missed you while you were gone.” You say, tears finally rolling down your cheeks at your confession and you saw as Bradley’s face softened at your words.
“y/n. I’ve been a shitty friend, I know that. I don’t deserve your forgiveness and I certainly don’t deserve your love, especially after what I put you through. You were never the cause of why I stopped talking to you. I was a coward. I was scared that because of how angry I was at Mav I was going to take it out on you too. I know now that I should’ve just talked to you but by the time I realised that what I was doing was stupid, the damage had already been done and I was packing my stuff to go to college. I should’ve reached out to you and talked to you way before now because you deserved to know the truth. Don’t ever say I didn’t care about you because I did. I still do. You are still my world. I couldn’t stop thinking about you since I moved away. I thought I’d never get to see you again. That I’d never get to tell you just how much I loved you, because it’s a lot. I am so sorry y/n.” Bradley’s words make you look up at him, his now teary eyes locking with yours. Every memory you had with Bradley flashed through your mind. Memories of spending hours at the beach together. Memories of how he protected you fearlessly when people picked on you. You were seeing your Bradley again in front of you. You took a step towards him and wrapped your arms around his torso, squeezing him tight. Bradley let out a shuddering breath at the hug before gingerly wrapping his arms around you, tugging you a little closer when you show no indication of letting go any time soon. Bradley then dips his head into the crook of your neck and allows his pent-up tears to fall.
“I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry y/n.” He mutters over and over again. His voice muffled by the soft material of your shirt.
“It’s okay, Bradley.” You mumble, one of your hands reaching up to run through his hair to try and calm him down. Once both you and Bradley had calmed down, you moved to sit on the sofa and you could tell from his expression that he wanted to talk about the massive elephant in the room. Both you and Bradley had just confessed your feelings for each other.
“So, we just admitted we loved each other, huh?” You say quietly, laughing lightly at yourself as you look up at Bradley. You had kept your love for him a closely guarded secret, kept behind walls in the confines of your heart but the second you were alone in your house with him, your walls came crumbling down and you poured your heart out to him.
“We did yes. I meant it. I’ve loved you as more than a friend since we were teenagers. But I totally understand if you want nothing to do with me after what I did to you.” Bradley says, gaze lowering in shame as he speaks.
“I meant it in that way too. I honestly didn’t think I’d ever say it to your face but here we are.” You chuckle weakly, lifting your hand to cup his chin so you could direct him to be looking at you instead of at the floor.
“Can I kiss you?” Bradley asks suddenly, his eyes widening when he realises what he said. As he opened his mouth to apologise and backtrack, you pressed your lips to his, pulling him impossibly closer as he reciprocates the kiss. When you pull apart, you press your forehead to his, lips mere inches apart as you grin happily at each other.
“I’ve been waiting seventeen years for you to ask me that question.” You tease as Bradley’s grin grows playful.
“Well, I guess we’ve got a lot to catch up on then.” Bradley says playfully, pulling you towards him as he falls back along the sofa, you lying on top of him in a giggling heap. You cuddle into him instantly as his arms remain firmly wrapped around you. Bradley’s arms felt like home. Like nothing could harm you and you were safe from whatever the outside world could throw at you. As you cuddled into Bradley’s chest, he smiled to himself as he tightened his grip slightly. His world was back in his life and this time he wasn’t ever going to leave you again.
#justabigassnerd#justabigassnerd writes#top gun#top gun maverick#top gun fic#top gun maverick fic#rooster top gun#bradley rooster bradshaw#bradley 'rooster' bradshaw#bradley bradshaw#rooster x y/n#rooster x reader#rooster#bradley 'rooster' bradshaw x reader#bradley bradshaw x reader#bradley bradshaw x y/n#bradley bradshaw x mitchell!reader#pete maverick mitchell#pete maverick mitchell x daughter!reader#maverick x daughter!reader#pete mitchell x daughter reader#x daughter!reader
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On Hunter's Fighting Style and Eclipse Lake
So: Hunter and fighting. Thank you @carpisuns for enabling me.
What he does is he sets up a guard position, and immediately tries to move to an enemy’s blind spot. He would have learned that to compensate around a casting opponent before he had magic--his only hope without a magical staff would be “defend defend defend” and get close enough to break their guard. The goal is a decisive blow to the head or neck to end combat. The priority is staying up because if he’s pinned or disarmed, he’s screwed.
The ability to teleport means that he starts in a strong defensive position and basically gets a sneak attack, rinse/repeat/adapt. Generally speaking he has to end fights as fast as possible, and given that he trained without magic his whole strategy is built around DEFEND first, decisive strike, DEFLECT magical force (a stick can't hope to counter it without magic). We also see a little bit of this implied training with his parkour abilities. Without the ability to fly, or the ability to summon plants to carry him to his destination, he would've had to learn all of this physically. Let's dig into some of the details of how this separates Hunter from most of his opponents. Let's talk about FIGHTING!
Most witches take their magic purely for granted. Because of this, it is likely uncommon for people to turn their own bodies into extremely efficient machines like how martial artists or athletes are required to. In their own way, these skills are generally probably pretty impressive to the average witch outside of combat — and within it they're surprising at least for the first few seconds. And in combat, seconds are really what matter. Most actual fights are over in less than 10. And one of the things that separates a trained fighter from a casual brawler or the average person defending themselves is the conditioning it takes to actually respond in time.
Most people don't respond to fight stimuli by fighting. Most people go into freeze or flight. When it comes to serious fight training, one of the first things that happens is called conditioning. For sports that means getting the body into a particular kind of well, condition — but for combat the conditioning is also mental. If you've seen stereotypes of things like Army boot camp where the drill sergeant is yelling at people and slinging abuse constantly, that's actually part of it. I am reliably told they try not to do this as much anymore. But if you're doing something like Krav Maga which is more or less brutal streetfighting but formalized in a dojo environment that is absolutely part of the training (or at least, it was part of mine!).
Specifically, when you're learning the throw punch or doing a series of them, what they will have us do is scream and swear at our opponents (and they will sometimes scream and swear at us during spars or drills) in order to condition our minds as well as our bodies for the ugliness of an actual violent confrontation. Yelling, intimidation, insults, swears those are all part of the human "puff up and look big" thing.
The other thing about conditioning in this way is the instructor teaching someone how to be hit and actually hit back. As I said before, most people tend to sink into freeze or flight. The average person who has not been trained needs to be hit an average of six times before they're able to summon up the nerve to strike back. By then, the confrontation is almost always over.
The reason I outline all of this is because it highlights the conditioning gulf between Hunter and the others, as well as trying to explain how he’d be approaching most enemies and WHY. Speed and dexterity is obviously critical, but the approach matters immensely as well.
This is especially true when you have a combatant like Hunter who is starting from a punishing disadvantage against the vast majority of his casting opponents. Without magic, the only weapon he has is his body. When you train on a weapon, that weapon becomes an extension of your body. As such, a critical part of this kind of training is gaining an awareness of the body in order to hone in mind-to-muscle control. Martial artists, dancers, etc have a scary amount of precise control in this way, not that much different than an excellent musician who understands their hands and the intimate ins and outs of their instrument. Developing awareness, control and practice is what creates reliable muscle memory. This more than anything is Hunter’s (and any martial artists tbh) superpower.
Witch's magic is shown to be driven by emotions, thoughts and feelings.
This gives them the benefit of reflexes helping them out in the face of sudden danger, but nobody is invulnerable to the sudden appearance of somebody inside their personal bubble hitting them in the temple with a really big stick. If Hunter is on target and playing for keeps the confrontations is over, witches duel: won. Even without magic.
Once Hunter has access to magic, his muscle memory is the same, with added oomph and a battle style combat-ready witches would be baffled by. Brawlers would be exceedingly rare on the BI except for niche sports and probably those highly unusual witches and demons who practice a form of magical martial arts. One or more of these unusual individuals would have helped train him (someone had to and Belos seems like he’d move like a broken ikea chair on his best day when he’s not a bone-rotted goop monster). Likely more. Hunter was obviously not allowed to get close to any teachers (I would expect that they were under strict orders to stay distant or otherwise motivated).
So most of this is context to kind of the depth I saw and how Hunter's fighting movements are animated, but now let me go into how his actual personality and emotional conflicts affect his ability to fight.
Over the course of the show, we can see a pretty direct correlation of his emotional state and priorities to his efficacy and fight. Basically, when his goal is directly aligned with how he feels about it, he’s very good. But when those things have conflict, his effectiveness goes down. When we first meet him as the GG, he is very intimidating and using heavy amounts of magic from the staff Belos gave him. He rolls easily through his first encounter with Luz, etc etc. And even though neither Eda or Luz are capable of putting up too much of a fight, he's goofing around for the entirety of that encounter, you can hear the smile even while he's dodging — and it's one of easy confidence. He can trust his body to do most of that pretty much automatically which frees him up to pontificate.
Against Kikimora he was effective because despite the fact he was self-sabotaging his mission, it was within his moral alignment. He was defending himself, but Luz had moved him, and he protected her. Protecting, generally speaking, his Hunter’s preference and his entire fighting style is based mostly on defensive forms. And being by nature a gentle person, defense feels better — especially when he knew Luz was doing the right thing in protecting the Palismen. It was one of the instances that we see where his intelligence was able to overcome his brainwashing long enough to act on it, and the Avenue was Luz's respect and kindness. That being said, fighting Kikimora was more of a struggle or at the very least a more even contest. Even debilitated by the sleeping nettles, Kikimora was not a pushover and he did end up letting his guard down pretty significantly and that she did get the first hit on him, distracted as he was by his emotional moment with Luz. The giving of the name was an explicit show of vulnerability that was immediately exploited by an opponent who if she had aimed slightly to the left would've caved his skull in.
Now, Eclipse Lake is a little more interesting. There were a ton of factors that led to him fighting to a standstill with Amity. I wouldn't really call it a loss either, but I'll get into that in just a second.
Hunter is at this point fueled by anxiety. He started the entire endeavor by deliberately disobeying a direct order from the mouth of the Emperor to try and make up for a recent failure that Belos has let Hunter believe is affecting his favor. Already that's an unbelievably emotional place with incredibly high stakes. At this point, we're well aware of the fact that Belos treats Hunter brutally. The best case scenario for returning empty-handed after disobeying a direct order is a beating that would probably leave him with more scars than he started, but what Hunter actually fears is being replaced. While at this stage he doesn't regard his life as something that necessarily belongs to him, but the successful outcome of this might as well be life-and-death.
Deliberately disobeying the Emperor does actually have a material impact on how Hunter arrives at the Knee. Because this is a stealth mission, he wasn’t able to bring his mechanical staff--the thing that would give him away to Kikimora. Flapjack had not fully become his palisman yet. Which means that Hunter hiked up that mountain after Kikimora and her party, navigating waist deep snow knowing that if he was caught she would kill him. He also knows that she is currently surrounded by her partisans, and it is super unlikely that any of them would stick up for him in a way that would put them at odds with her. With no support, no ability to take a break and probably no rations he was probably pretty hungry, tired and dehydrated by the time Eda and Amity had made it up there. And they had the benefit of being able to fly. That's one thing I don't see people talking about enough when it comes to considering the relative strength of Amity and Hunter. The little rag-eared bastard had already had a very very long and physically arduous and miserable day, maybe even more than one!.
He also bit off more than he could reasonably chew with those disadvantages in mind. He only has to make one mistake and he’s toast. He didn’t account for Flapjack dragging him to Eda and Amity’s feet. As far as he knew, they could have really hurt him, or left him--having no guarantee or even expectation of Flapjack’s assistance. But none of this changes the fact that Hunter spends the next couple of hours tied up. Amity wasn't gentle (why would she be?). We see him rubbing his wrists and stretching his shoulders out once he is free.
Cartoons often don't make anything of this gesture, but the truth of it is this: if you been bound for any length of time, especially in the position that Hunter was, what it does is it yanks on your shoulders, your chest, it hurts the hell out of your elbows and you lose feeling in your hands. The minute you’re released, all the blood goes back into those areas and it hurts like hell. IT REALLY HURTS. And you're stiff.
Which finally brings us back to the actual confrontation between Amity and Hunter. Hunter has experienced incredible emotional highs and lows over the course of this journey. There were probably at least three or four times where he was almost killed. He is tired as hell, frozen stiff, probably in pain, almost certainly hasn't eaten or had anything to drink for a very inappropriate amount of time and he has no weapon. He's also on the brink of despair and crackup. And his mission? At this point, he’s staring down the barrel of guaranteed failure. When Amity is talking to him and trying to comfort him, he is so up a creek that for a moment he actually is hearing what she has to say. Given the depth of his devotion to Belos at this point that is saying a lot about how he feels about his prospects at the moment.
So when he sees the key, he attacks her out of desperation. Pure emotion. He has to at least try. There is no scenario where an unarmed combatant can wrestle the armed abomination prodigy with auxiliary support. Then Flapjack joins the fight, and that changes everything. You can see it in how his expression changes once he takes what's offered: magical aid. Suddenly he has a fighting chance. A fighting chance.
However, he is now using a weapon he's never used before — and I think that has a huge impact on how that fight went. Palismen are shown to respond to their wielder's thoughts. Later, in ASIAS, we can even see Flapjack responding to Hunter's mind when he's doing all the staff tricks to impress the students. This leads me to believe that wielding a Palisman staff is less like swinging an inert stick and more like moving a limb. And when your entire fighting style depends on knowing exactly where your own center of mass is at absolutely all times, that would change Hunter's balance, and throw his timing and physicality off.
All things considered, given the unbelievable disadvantage that Hunter started with, I kind of wish the fandom gave him more credit. With his emotions in absolute tatters in addition to being a physical disaster and using a new weapon, he is absolutely at his worst here! Amity is fighting from a position of knowing she has backup coming in addition to the backup she already has in King. Even then, she's fighting to get away from him. And Hunter, in addition to using a new tool and all of the aforementioned problems is going full out on the attack-- which is very contrary to how he prefers to fight. When you go this feral into a combat, the emotional place itself is a disadvantage.
And even after all that? Amity didn't beat him. They fought to a standstill.
She has a blade to his throat, he had Flapjack on her hand. With Flapjack in his possession, if for any reason she tried to open his throat he would still have the option of flash stepping away. She might have cut his neck enough to bleed, but not enough to kill him instantly. In holding the way she did, she missed her chance at a fatal opening (and she's never killed anyone before. Interpretation is out for Hunter, I generally don't headcannon him as ever having killed directly with his own hands although I do think he's done some real damage).
He says to her, "Listen. You're strong, and I'm tired. If this continues, you'll probably escape. But here's the thing: we know where to find you--and your human."
The first part of that statement has way less to do with Amity's training or skill as an equal to Hunter's (she clearly has a little, but if you're as good as Hunter is at his age, you would've started at around three years old and that probably was not the case for Amity), and more a statement of the fact that Hunter is actually physically exhausted and there is the slight possibility that Amity might be able to outlast him in terms of endurance. But what I think is a lot more pertinent is the reality that Hunter has an incredibly small window of time to achieve victory before Eda the HARPY OWL LADY comes flying through that tunnel to beat his already exhausted ass.
He also says: "If this CONTINUES". And he even says probably. He's incredibly fucking tough at least in terms of what he's capable of enduring before he falls down and can't get up.
If Eda did come through to help Amity, the best case scenario for Hunter at that point is they leave him senseless or in too rough of a shape to escape from Kikimora. Kikimora openly despises him, is extremely petty/cruel, and is surrounded by her own partisans (who have demonstrable willingness to murder teenagers!). She screeched about how excited she was about exacting revenge (and unbeknownst to Hunter she absolutely knows how disposable he is in the grand scheme of things!).
She’s a lot more interested in Hunter’s blood than Titan’s blood at the moment. Hunter would die BADLY and slowly at her little claws if she got him.
So he tries a last-ditch measure by leveling a threat Amity that he couldn’t hope to carry out even if he wanted to. It's ironic that the only reason that they were both able to achieve a partial victory here is because Hunter was able to effectively empathize with her enough to see his own vulnerability in her and squeeze it.
To all that stuff about how his emotions affect his ability to battle, if we look at what happened on the day of unity, at that stage he was still unable to confront his abuser and would-be murderer. He did not strike Belos once, and spent the whole time playing defense on behalf of his friends, taking up a defensive position and otherwise moving them out of harm's way. He's in the process of actively dying and his right (dominant) arm is paralyzed, so his form is pretty crap but this speaks to his iron will to stay breathing for as long as he can. And he's lasted a lot longer than the most affected adults. The lack of a bile sac probably comes into it a bit...but it's not the only factor here.
So yeah! I hope that this provides a little bit more nuance to the conversation! And again, thank you to the animators and storyboarders for taking such time and care for portraying Hunter’s fighting with respect to his personality and arc.
For anyone interested in my meta and analysis, please check out the "ash's owl house meta" tag on this blog and/or follow @idlescree for my video essays! We have more in the works coming soon :)
Tags for those who requested tags!
@skyelights-xox @rainbowangel110 @bookworm010307
#the owl house#toh#toh hunter#hunter noceda#amity blight#the owl house meta#the owl house analysis#ash's owl house meta#idlescree
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Just not him
・❥・ Your situationship doesn’t like that you were seen with another man
・❥・word count: 1.2k
・❥・warnings: Homelander and The Deep (they’re their own warnings), fade to black smut, Homie is a little toxic, supe!reader
・❥・I don't write smut because I'm not good at it, but I'm not good at it because I don't write it, a viscous cycle.
Also sorry if this doesn't make much sense I was in and out of consciousness while writing 😝
"No. No way am I doing that."
"(Y/n), your sexuality is part of your brand. May I remind you your approval rates are going down by the minute." Madelyn sighs.
"Yeah, I get that, but you expect me to go out there and flirt with The Deep? I'd be making a fool of myself." Your cheeks are hot as you try to defend yourself.
"Ah, ah, you'd be making a spectacle, and that's exactly what we need right now. Drama, scandal, rumors."
"And it has to be him?" You deadpanned. "It can't be anyone else? What about Homelander?" You felt yourself becoming desperate.
“Homelander? And you?” A smile breaks out on her face, but she tries to hide it. “I don’t mean any offense, but you two aren’t an ideal pair up.” She talks to you like you’re a child. You fight the urge to tell her that you and Homelander are actually a very good pair. “Anyways, recently you and The Deep have been trending, as a couple.” You scoff.
Recently on a podcast with some man you’re sure is very popular in a different crowd, The Deep confessed that he found you to be the most attractive member of The Seven. Ever since then a burst of videos were posted of cute moments between the two of you, which turned into edits, which turned into fan art, which turned into fanfiction. You fought the urge to gag, who even makes that stuff? From a marketing perspective, it made for great business, a romance angle brought new eyes to the scene. To you, it was demeaning.
“Fine. But I’m not going to take this any further than a few flirtatious remarks at tomorrow’s gala.” You remind yourself it’s not good to anger someone like Madelyn, she’s scarier than she lets on. Madelyn nods and you walk out of her office, much more embarrassed than you were when you entered. As you stormed down the hallway to the safety of your own home, none other than The Deep greeted you.
Speak of the devil and he shall arrive.
“Hey! How are you doing today, cutie?” He starts. He practically salivates as he walks beside you. You feel like you’re gonna be sick.
“I’m not in the mood right now.”
“C’mon, why don’t you let me take you out for a drink or two? We’re supposed to be all over each other tom-“
“Not in the mood!” You cut him off. Your walking increases to practically sprinting until you reach your home. You slam the door shut behind you. You shrugged off your clothes and crawled into bed. No way in hell were you getting out of bed until the last possible minute.
You stood, still as a statue. You wore a deep purple outfit. The silks enveloped your body in a sexy, yet elegant way. You had never felt more bored in your life. The Deep had his hand positioned on your lower back, where it had been all night. You had already talked to everyone important, you made sure the photographers got enough shots of you coquettishly whispering in The Deep’s ear, or leaning on him while being in conversation. You had taken notice to the fact that Homelander had yet to arrive. The gala would be ending soon, and without an appearance from the leader of The Seven himself. His absence further ruined your mood.
You and Homelander were in a bit of a situationship. There was no official label for your relationship. He’d come to your house just to sleep with you one day, then act like you two were strangers the next. You had learned to accept that nothing serious would come from the relationship. But there was still a part of you that wished he had come tonight.
“(Y/n), big smiles.” The Deep reminded. “Why do you look so fucking depressed?” His voice was low enough that it would look like casual banter to any outsider. His hold on the small of your back grew tight.
“Back off and mind your own business.” You said through gritted teeth. You forced a coy smile and blush onto your face as if he had just said something really flustering to you.
“Hey you two!” You felt your brows furrow. Sometime between two minutes ago, when you last scanned the room, and now Homelander had entered, and without you noticing. Your fake smile melted into a real one.
“Homelander.” You greeted. The Deep pulled you in impossibly closer. He didn’t say anything, just nodded. You had a feeling he was scared of Homelander.
“Do you mind if I borrow them?” Homelander asked The Deep. All of you knew it wasn’t a question, just a thinly veiled demand. “You seem to have them chained down.” He laughed, referring to the vice grip currently on your back. After a second the hold was gone, The Deep had already walked off to get himself another drink.
It was just you and Homelander now. He moved close to you to whisper in your ear.
“What the fuck are you doing?” He asked with a plastic smile. You felt your stomach drop.
“My job.” You shot back with an equally fake smile. You watched as his cheeks turned red with anger.
“No.” He grabbed your wrist. “We’re leaving.” You planted your feet in the ground.
“Excuse you?”
“I said, we’re leaving.” He hissed.
“They’ll have my head if I’m seen leaving with you.”
“They can fucking suck it up. I’m The Homelander. I get who I want, when I want. We’re leaving.” He dragged you by the wrist to pull you out the back doors. You were acutely aware that all the photographers turned away their cameras after seeing the expression on Homelander’s face.
The cold night air curled around your exposed skin, but you had no time to even breathe it in before your head hit the wall behind you and Homelander’s lips were on yours. His hands gripped your waist as he pulled you closer to him. You push him away, sucking in deep breaths.
“What’s gotten into you? Why are you acting like this?” You ask breathlessly. You can’t say you don’t enjoy this possessiveness, but he’s never made such a scene for you before, especially in public. He doesn’t answer before pulling you back into another hungry kiss.
He pulls away, his breath hot against your neck. “You’re mine. All fucking mine. No one else can have you, especially not that fucker Deep.” He pants. His grip tightened in a way you’re sure would bruise if it wasn’t for your invulnerable skin. “Fucking say it. Say that you’re mine.” A tone of pathetic desperation creeps into his voice. You smile and curl your fingers in his hair.
You wish Madelyn could see you now. Not a good pair, as if.
“I’m yours, Homelander.” You assure him. He whines against your collarbone. You’re sure tomorrow he’ll go back to pretending none of this happened, but for now you revel in his attention. “Why don’t you show them that I belong to you?”
It’s so petty, just a cheap way to stick it in Madelyn’s face. Homelander grins as he tries to suck a hickey on your neck. Both of your smiles quickly faded at the realization that there’s no way to bruise invincible skin. “Shit.” You cursed under your breath. Homelander looked up at you with his big blue eyes. You run your fingers through his hair.
“I’m sure you could show them in a different way.” You smirked.
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Btw, if anyone cares to know, my position on Biden and the 2024 election is this:
Starting September* 1, 2024, I will be doing whatever I can to make sure that Trump does not get a second term as president
Until that day, I'm going to be doing whatever I can to push for an end to the genocide in Gaza and an immediate ceasefire, and that includes criticizing, protesting, and lambasting Biden for funding and providing weapons for Israel's genocide
ETA: I will still be posting about significant good things the Biden administration has done, though, because some of it is a really big deal that people deserve to know about
ETA: But I will not be defending Biden from any criticism around Palestine/Israel/war crimes
*This originally said October 1st but someone pointed out to me that there are a few states where early voting starts in late September, including a couple swing states, so I changed it because that's a very good point
I don't plan to tell anyone not to vote for Biden in the meantime, myself, because shitty two party system and I'm really serious about Trump not getting reelected
But I'm also not going to do anything to discourage people who are seriously rallying against Biden, because he is, you know, literally bypassing Congress to make sure he can fund crimes against humanity
I never want to diminish that reality.
And more than that: If we want genocide to actually be a dealbreaker for politicians and presidents... then we need to start acting like it could be.
--
Details/related thoughts:
I will still be posting about good things Biden and his administration are doing, because they are the ones running the US government and Congress is super deadlocked, so a lot of the national-level good news in the US has been done by his administration, and I'm not going to stop posting about that good news
Shout-out to the anon who accused me of being a US government propagandist with a whole PR team bc I posted about Biden a few days in a row. I promise you I'm blogging from my bed in my pjs and do not have a PR team lol
Also, for people who don't think we should be spreading serious criticism about Biden, for fear of Trump winning in 2024: I hear you--that's an incredibly valid fear. I've struggled with that myself, in the process of coming to this(/these) decision(s). But consider this: it's better that we really pile on the criticism and pressure now, because a) people are dying, and b) Biden's chances will be much worse if Israel is still bombing/decimating Gaza on election day
Relatedly, for anyone who's tempted to think Trump would be better when it comes to the Gaza genocide, again, it's really understandable to want to put your hope in any viable alternative. However, I promise you that is not going to happen. Joe Biden at least conditionally gives a couple shits about human life. Trump doesn't. Remember Trump's Muslim ban? In all likelihood, Trump would just tell Israel to bomb Gaza harder and ban Palestinian refugees from entering the US
Last thing on Trump: maybe this is naive of me, but for a lot of reasons, I'm not actually particularly worried about Trump winning in 2024. If I was, I might have made some different calls here. I have a few asks about this in my inbox and will probably make a post at some point about the reasons why, but yeah, Democrats have mostly been wanting to run against Trump instead of DeSantis or Haley or whoever for some very real reasons
You're welcome to disagree with me/this post in any direction, btw
Seriously, I'm just a random person who doesn't speak for anyone besides myself and my own blog. I'm not saying these are categorically the right answers, or that any of this is what everyone should be doing. This is simply the system I have settled on (right now) for how I personally want to handle all of this
You're welcome to disagree with me but please don't send me any angry asks about any of it. Not that I in any way get a lot of those, thankfully! But yeah, this isn't something I'm interested in debating, this is mostly for notification/explanation purposes
#palestine#cw war#cw genocide#us politics#biden#not news#me#reminder that all my posts related to the war/genocide are tagged as “palestine” and “cw war”#and if you need to filter reminders about all of this then you should#esp coming from you know a good news blog#Far better to engage with all of this news/info deliberately when/where you're in a place to handle it#then to keep spiraling and spiraling because it keeps surprising you in the middle of your dash#that's what I do actually I have several related tags filtered on here#and then when I'm up for it I go read a bunch of news articles and look up protest listings#and you know actually go to protests or post about it on here etc. etc.
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Jaune was working as usual until he heard his scroll. He looks to see Blake calling him. He answers.
Blake: Jaune we need to talk.
Jaune: *putting a baby to sleep while controlling kids* Blake I am a little busy at the moment.
Blake: Jaune we need to discuss why you quit your position.
Jaune: I don’t know maybe because I’m not needed and might as well use my time to get stronger and probably be more useful.
Yang: Jaune come on you were plenty useful in the nursing.
Jaune: Yang they have medical professionals. They were fine without me. Plus I go back there every morning. I never left. I even have them on my scroll. They call me too. So what’s the problem?
Robyn: Look we just need you to start pulling your weight and do your job.
Jaune: *triggered*
Kid #1: Ooo you messed up lady.
Jaune”s teacher 1: Honey you felt that, right?
Jaune’s teacher 2: Mm-hm someone about to get their ass beat. And my son is about to do it.
Jaune’s teacher 1: Honey we already got ten kids.
Jaune’s teacher 2: And I love them but their still children. They don’t know how bad adulthood is yet.
Jaune: Little bi- *remembers the children* You know what how about we have a meeting about this okay?
Robyn: Fine.
The next day everyone gathered around for the meeting with Jaune being in the room first. After everyone finished what they had to say, Jaune presented himself and replied.
Jaune: So, everyone good? Okay, I’ll make this quick. I have been doing my job better than almost all of you. Almost.
Qrow: Jaune what do you mean you have been messing up-
Jaune: I know the man who can change into a bird and is a legend yet still can’t watch over a maiden and his nieces for shit is talking to me.
Qrow: Now hold up son I’ll beat-
Jaune: Bro you are the reason Clover is dead. And the reason Tyrian escaped along with Robinhood over there.
Robyn: Hey.
Jaune: And speaking of you, Ms. Hill, how the hell was Penny defending your city better than you or any of your Happy Huntresses considering the amount of citizens who got hurt?
May: Hey we had to evacuate our citizens cause your team deserted us.
Jaune: Well sorry, it is not like one of my friends wasn’t kidnapped and was about to die at any given moment.
Yang: You could have helped.
Jaune: Bitch you told me not to fight. Hell we almost got him back too. Oh. And we were planning to come back. However, we were captured because I was trying to warn someone of an upcoming attack. Which happened and yet some stubborn mother fuckers wouldn’t listen. Cause they were fixated on looking for Penny.
Winter: Mm he did. But you
Jaune: Yeah-yeah I know, the Ironwood and Ruby bs. And speaking of that wouldn’t James have killed everyone anyway if we hadn’t stopped him?
Qrow: Not to mention Harriet almost dropped a whole bomb on Mantle to kill everyone.
Harriet: Okay rude.
Yang: Okay Jaune-
Jaune: Bitch don’t get me- don’t get me started on you. You have been getting your ass beat as of late. Like in Atlas and Mantle, I don't know how that’s possible, but me and my men, have been carrying you throughout the whole ordeal. All you have been doing was not knowing how to shut the hell up.
Yang: um…
Jaune: Like you was talking about the Ace-ops and Winter following orders yet you were following Ozpin’s,Ruby’s, Ironwood's and better yet, you were following my orders. At least I was coming up with a plan. I was helping Ren. Being a leader. What were you doing other than Blake?
Blake: Alright Jaune, calm down, You have made your point.
Jaune: Oh no the fuck I haven't. Are you Ruby's sister?
Blake: No.
Jaune: Mm I wonder what drew me to that conclusion considering you have been acting like her sister more than a blond brawler over here? Both moms left her too, yet she looked for the one who never raised her.
Yang: *tears dropping from her eyes*
Nora: Wow Jaune, that's cold.
Jaune: Nora. Ren. My supposedly two remaining teammates.
Ren: Come on not again. Jaune, Ruby already told us everything. What can you possibly say that she hasn't told us yet?
Jaune: For someone who was on James's dick you never once tried to snitch on us. In fact you been kinda rude half the time.Then you decided to speak out against Harriet like you and Yang didn't argue before we got caught.
Ren: That was because she was insulting Pyrrha.
Jaune: Which I understand but I thought we were past that already.
Ren: Well I was the reason Winter agreed to your plan. And I was the reason we survived the whale to find Oscar.
Jaune: Emerald and Hazel saved Oscar before we had a chance. We basically went in there for nothing. And you almost started a fight with Harriet.
Winter: Also I was a little hesitant but I agreed to the plan. Mainly more hostages. You wouldn’t be alive if I hadn’t jumped in.
Jaune: More importantly if I were to have thrown the relic into the mix, which had one question left by the way, you're telling me Harriet wouldn't agree to let us go. Mainly because they were looking for Penny regardless.
Nora: Wow Jaune you would thrown Penny under the bus that easily?
Jaune: If it meant a negotiation with James, probably, yes. And Nora, weren't you unconscious throughout half that experience?
Nora: I saved team RWBY.
Jaune: Who hasn't? Cause I recall, Qrow, Oobleck, Gylanda, us, CVFY, Ace-ops, James, and Ozpin. You ain’t special.
Oscar: Damn.
Jaune: Oscar you decided to meet James and try to talk. After he made us wanted criminals. What were you thinking?
Oscar: At least I tried to reassure him.
Jaune: And you got shot. Mother fucker you were wasting time and our efforts. Next time no one might not be able to help you. And Ozpin? It took a whole pile of shit to happen for you to finally came out and help?
Oscar(Ozpin): Mr. Arc it was not that bad.
Jaune: He got shot. Manhandled by a Grimm. And beat up by an old man. Come on.
Ozpin: … …
Jaune: Don’t get me started on how you fucked up years before.
Pietro: Jaune. You killed my-
Jaune: I killed Penny and saved Winter. Winter was Ironwood's second in command and was in charge of a whole army during a full-scale invasion. The fact Penny had Weiss, Ruby, Blake, Yang, and Nora to choose from proves she knew all of them weren't up to the task. Plus I was trying to help her but my options were limited. I did what I had to. I’m sorry.
Pietro: You could have-
Jaune: Healed her? I TRIED!!! However let's discuss how I have been carrying every damn body on my back. I had to help Ren multiple times when using his semblance. I had to heal Oscar. Heal Nora. Amplify Weiss and Penny when it came to her virus. Hell fourth wall breaking did anyone think for a second I amplified Ren ahead of time so he can mask those same thousands of people.
RWBY fan: …. ….
Jaune: All that while running, fighting and surviving while having barely enough sleep or energy. Hell, my aura kept breaking multiple times. I am surprised I haven't passed out yet.
Winter: Mm he made his point.
Weiss: Winter, why are you siding with him so quickly?
Winter: First off I am alive because of him. Second, Weiss, you lied to my face. Like I was open with you and you never once came to me with the truth. I'm your sister. You're lucky I was willing to side with you at all.
Jaune: Facts. And for someone who lived in Atlas, you barely did shit to save it.
Weiss: I sent ships to help Mantle.
Winter: That's the thing though Mantle. You did nothing for Atlas at all. And how did you send those ships?
Weiss: Well it was mainly Whitley.
Winter: I rest my case.
Jaune: Also aren't you Ruby’s partner? Why are Oscar, Blake, and myself filling in those shoes more than you?
Yang: Well in the Ever After you-
Jaune: I was trying to find a way home by learning the story. But as the saying goes, “Don’t trust everything you read.” And sorry for protecting a civilization from killing itself even though that was the only thing keeping me sane.
Yang: *silent*
Blake: They came back though.
Jaune: They don’t remember me or their past lives. They died and came back only to die again. Not to mention I had to leave my second and long-time companion and place her in the care of a rat. Not only that I had a whole map of the Ever After. I wasn't playing around. I was seriously trying to find a way home. Yet you called me crazy.
Blake: *silent*
Jaune: Here is what I am saying, true enough I can't fight for anything but I at least help in areas none of you can seem to grasp. I have to sacrifice my mental and physical well-being to support ya’ll. I have been doing my job as a huntsman, teammate and a friend than almost any of you.
Nora: But Jaune you’re our leader we need you.
Jaune: I recall the majority of times you two barely follow my orders. Ruby is your leader. I don’t recall having a team move with either of you. Not just that you have Oscar and Emerald so fuck both of you.
Ren: Are we that bad of a team?
Jaune: Yeah, and what’s crazier is I have a family I haven’t seen in years yet I’m still prioritizing a city full of savages, and you all as my friends when I can just pull a Raven and leave you be.
Yang: DUDE!!
Jaune: I’m just saying I could leave and nothing would change. Now I’m leaving cause I got a job to do!*leave*
Qrow: Well damn.
Nora: I guess we all made mistakes.
Ren: Yes.
Weiss: I’m going to call Ruby and see if we can hang out.
Yang: Can we make that a double?
Oscar: Um Nora do you think-
Nora: Calm down Oscar. Jaune may be upset but he’ll be fine. He wouldn’t leave us like that.
A few weeks later.
Ruby: Hey everyone we’re back.
Team RWBY saw a crying Nora in Ren’s arms and defeated Qrow comforted by Oscar. Ruby looks to see a letter and picks it up. Ruby and her team read the letter. Afterward, Yang is shocked, and Weiss is sad as Blake comforts them. Ruby on the other hand steps out and then stares at the sky. A tear flows down her eye.
Ruby: Well, at least you have the common decency to tell me what you’re up to. But still…*sigh* Hope you find what you're looking for my friend. And… … Please… come back safely.
Jaune was flying on a Nevermore along with Emerald who snuck aboard to his surprise. Jaune, though irritated, continued flying as she held onto him.
Emerald: I can’t believe you tamed a Nevermore.
Jaune: Yeah-yeah anyways why did you follow me here?
Emerald: Hey someone has to watch your back.
Jaune: You are the last person I want to cover my back.
Emerald: Well don’t be rude. But also…
Jaune: What?
Emerald: Jaune… Salem is after you.
Jaune: Really? Why? I don’t recall being a silver-eyed warrior or Ozpin’s vessel. So why me? Also, how do you know?
Emerald: Mercury told me and even he doesn’t know. He just overheard Tyrian about you.
Jaune: I fought with him a week ago. (Should’ve killed him too.) Still doesn’t make sense though. Did he hear anything from Cinder?
Emerald: No.
Jaune: Look I already left the kingdom. Cinder mainly wants Ruby dead. And Salem will be too preoccupied to do anything about me. We’re under clear.
Somewhere in Vacuo, Tyrian and Mercury were speaking to Salem and Cinder through one of her sphere Grimm. Salem hears Jaune has left the kingdom of Vacuo and is enraged.
Salem: WHAT?!
Tyrian: I’m sorry mistress. Please calm down.
Salem: *breaths* Very well. Cinder will meet you both in Vacuo. Therefore we will split our efforts into two. You three along with our allies will search and kill the Summer Maiden along with team RWBY and their annoying friends. I will send a request to half of them to assist me in finding him. I may even need them.
Tyrian: Them ma’am?
Salem: Yes, them.
Tyrian: Very well my queen. We will not fail you.
Salem ends the call while Cinder stands before her with an angered look in her eye.
Salem: What is it, my dear?
Cinder: Why are you after Jaune?
Salem: Why do you ask?
Cinder Ma’am, I don’t mean to be rude but that boy isn’t worth our efforts at all.
Salem: Hm… really? So how come he’s alive?
Cinder: By sheer luck of course.
Salem: True. However, there is no doubt he has gotten in the way of our plans. Like with killing the Schnee girl. Or getting the winter maiden’s power.
Cinder: *nervous* Those were my failures, ma’am.
Salem: Regardless I need him alive.
Cinder: But why though.
Salem: His semblance and aura. With his semblance along with Gillian's, I might be able to push our army further to evolution. But I need his power to do it.
Cinder: Then allow me to-
Salem: *snaps*
Cinder was shut off as she could feel pain from her Grimm arm. Salem turns around and looks to Cinder and say as she closes in on her.
Salem: I recall sending you to handle said children and what happened? Oh. You costed me knowledge. You lost the maiden powers to another huntress. Hazel and Emerald betrayed us. And worse of all you lost two useful people.
Cinder: But I gave you creation. Surly that makes up- *feels greater pain*
Salem; Ever since you came back you have been getting cocky and more foolish by the day. Draining my resources. Right now, all I want from you to do is simply play nice and follow orders. Like a good little doll.
Cinder was terrified as she stared at Salem’s as she leaned down to look closer at Cinder’s frightened gaze.
Salem: Understand this Cinder. I was the reason you managed to obtain and control that power you have in your possession. However, you so far have continued to prove how undeserving you are of said power and responsibility that comes with it. So let me break this down for you. If you so much as make a mistake, further disrupt my plans, or worse fail me…
Cinder: … ….
Salem: I will take everything from you. Do you understand child?
Cinder: Yes m- *screams* Yes… my queen.
Salem: Good. Now leave.
Cinder gets up and leaves for Vacuo. Salem on the other hand walks around her castle until she reaches her destination. There she opens a huge door. She walks through the door only to be greeted by multiple eyes.
Salem: Hello my children.
???: Greetings Mother.
Salem: Mother is sorry. I wish I didn’t have to send you to do this. But there is no one but you that I trust to do this task
???: Anything Mother.
Salem uses her Grimm to present an image of the target.
Salem: Find this boy. Do however you feel it takes to bring him back alive.
???: May we have fun hunting him Mother.
Salem: *smile* Of course, my children. You may torture him and do as you see fit.
???: Yes mother. It shall be done.
Salem: Then go.
#rwby#jaune arc#ruby rose#weiss schnee#yang xiao long#blake belladonna#nora valkyrie#lie ren#qrow branwen#penny polendina#raven branwen#pietro polendina#winter schnee#james ironwood#ace ops
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𝙇𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙏𝙞𝙘𝙠𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝?
𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨: 3.5k
𝙖/𝙣: anonnie, i'm so sorry...i've been through the same and it isn't easy...but im so proud of you for making it as far as you did and we'll do it together <3
𝙩/𝙬: changbin is insecure about a lot of things, unheathy methods, fainting and nutrient deficiency, jealousy, sadness, crying, etc.
𝒍𝒆𝒆: changbin
𝙡𝙚𝙧: minho and hyunjin
𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕: @someone-who-loves-kpop-saranghae @jeongins-diary @leeknowstan33 @v--143 @wereallgonnadieonedaybutnottoday @inkedloveandlostpromises @lajanaa @a-wild-seungberry @r00ni1
𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐞? 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐮𝐛s🖤
IN NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM DO I BELIEVE THAT CHANGBIN IS UGLY. THIS IS JUST FICTION AND IS NOT MEANT TO RESEMBLE REAL LIFE PEOPLE!!! I BELIEVE THAT CHANGBIN IS ONE OF THE PRETTIEST PEOPLE I HAVE EVER SET EYES ON AND I STAND BY THAT!!!
“AGH! Stop that!” Changbin hissed, slapping Hyunjin’s hand away from his skin.
Binnie scolded himself for wearing a tank top yet again. He just never learned from his mistakes.
He was just trying to speak with the other members, but Hyunjin decided to bother him by sticking his fingers into his upper ribs, near his armpits.
Every shriek the younger earned only increased his need to hear more of them, but Hyunjin got his share of karma soon enough.
“Rank every member by how ticklish they are?! Oh, that sounds like fun!” Chan smirked evilly, everyone’s eyes moving to either Hyunjin or a certain maknae bread.
“Okay, so Hyunjin and Jeongin are tied for first.” Minho started, humming while he thought. “Then Hannie, definitely.”
Jisung started coughing, a blush appearing on his face. Lino thought for a few more moments before speaking again.
“Then it should be Lixie or Chan hyung.”
At once, loud arguments broke out. Both Chan and Felix started shouting at the same time and Minho yelled for them to stop.
“There’s no way you’re less ticklish than me and Lixie!” Chan protested, Felix nodding his head with an offended look.
“But-!” Lino tried to defend himself, but it didn’t work out in the end.
So next on the list was Minho.
“NOW it’s you two.” Lino commented quickly before anyone had a chance to tease him because of his position in the top three.
Everyone agreed. “Oooh, I can’t decide between Seungmin and Changbin!” Minho groaned, thinking as hard as he could.
Meanwhile, both mentioned members started to flush deeply, glancing at each other in embarrassment.
“Let’s have a vote!” Jeongin proposed, and everyone quickly agreed.
“Who votes for Seungmin hyung?” Jeongin asked, putting his own hand up.
Surprisingly, everyone agreed, including Seungmin himself, that he was most probably more ticklish than Changbin.
Changbin grinned happily as everyone else began to tease each other, excluding him.
So there he was, at the bottom of the list. At the moment, it seemed great to Changbin.
Nobody could tease him considering they were higher on the list.
But as Changbin learned, it wasn’t always the best in every case.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Changbin groaned as he flexed again in the mirror. He has been working so hard in the gym, yet he was unable, in his opinion, to improve his body for their upcoming performance.
He hadn’t changed at all, and he was sure that STAY’s would hate him for it.
[NOT TRUE AT ALL HE’S SO FUCKING PRETTYYY]
His mind began to flash with all the things they would call him. ‘The least popular member AND the least improved?’
Binnie swore that he would break down crying if he thought anymore, so he walked off to try and distract himself.
Minho walked by him in the kitchen, squeezing his belly playfully. It was meant to be a show of affection, but at the moment, Changbin started overthinking, believing that Minho was teasing him.
His eyes welled up, and he blinked rapidly to extinguish the tears before they threatened to drop.
Lino, however, had noticed the rapper’s empty response to his affection, especially at something that would normally earn him at least a giggle.
It was all over when dinner happened, and Changbin was already out of it, leaving the members to believe something was wrong.
They tried with their greatest efforts to involve him in their conversations, believing that he felt left out and lonely, but the only fruit of their efforts were empty replies and few-word responses.
After some concerned glances at each other, Jeongin decided it lighten up the mood by prodding Binnie’s ribs twice, earning quiet squeaks and jolts.
After that, all the members began to coo and giggle at him, smiling at him and playing with his hands to try and cheer him up.
At the show of affection, Changbin’s cheeks flushed a rosy color, and the once dimmed sparkles returned to his eyes.
“Binnieee! You look so cute blushing for us, do it some more?~” Chan teased.
“Our chubby, cute Changbinnieee~” Hyunjin giggled, squishing at the boy’s cheeks.
Changbin’s mind only caught onto one word. He had tried so hard to distract himself from it, but his overthinking returned as his mind began to spiral uncomfortably. ‘Chubby.’
The other members must have noticed that he blanked out, because he suddenly snapped back to reality and heard multiple concerned voices calling his name.
Changbin smiled and excused himself, locking himself in his room the first moment he got.
The other members sat in silence, staring at his untouched plate of food and empty glass of water, wondering what they did wrong.
Over the next few days, the dorm was uncomfortably silent, the once loud and cheery dwaekki now practically living at the gym, not coming home even to eat proper meals, though Chan noticed their box of protein powder and electrolyte packets getting considerably lighter.
Changbin still spoke to the members, however his flame had distinguished and his smiles seemed more strained, and the rapper had now seemed to be struggling to keep himself upright.
The others had constantly tried to get him to take better care of himself, even taking it to the point of where they tried to force meals into his throat.
It only barely worked, and now the members had even less time due to comeback schedules.
Minho and Chan started to take tolls on their health too, and small worry creases began to form on their faces.
In general, the group had no time for breaks, and when they weren’t performing, they barely saw Changbin at all.
The members started to dearly miss the happy, responsible rapper, considering he was their light during all the hardships of comeback season.
But once, they got a break, and was ordered by the company to stay within the building.
The members shuffled awkwardly into the dorm, the energy changing since they realized that it would be the first time together in the dorm in a long period of time.
Everybody ate quietly, and soon enough, Hyunjin couldn’t handle it anymore. “What happened here?” He scoffed sarcastically.
He quickly stuck his fingers up Jisung’s shirt, earning a high pitched yelp.
Quick as lighting, the group was back, talking to each other, grinning in happiness.
After dinner, they battled the maknae down onto the couch and went to town, releasing all their stress through their tickling fingers.
Jeongin was screaming, out of breath and begging as Changbin quietly held his arms down, smiling when the maknae looked at him with teary, pleading eyes.
A sudden surge of jealousy suddenly struck the unprepared rapper, who flushed as he watched all the member’s fingers wiggling onto the youngest’s worst spots.
Ever since the day they had ranked themselves in the list, Changbin noticed a considerable difference in the amount he got tickled, noticing the others always getting each other and not him.
He started to realize that maybe it was because he ranked so low, because they wanted someone with better reactions, someone who was more ticklish.
Insecurity flashed before his eyes, and his chest hurt as he tried to hold back his tears for the umpteenth time that week.
Changbin hadn’t even realized that he had let go of the maknae’s arms, and that the others had been staring at him.
Changbin’s vision went blurry, and his stomach cried out again for food, but yet again he shoved the feelings down as he reached for his water bottle.
After determining that it was empty, he stood up to refill it, and regretted it as dark and white spots swam in his vision.
Binnie stumbled backwards, startling the others as they reached out to catch him.
“Hyung? Are you okay?” Hannie gasped, noticing the older stumbling over himself.
Felix immediately stood up to help him, taking the bottle from his hands and running to fill it.
Seungmin stood up and wrapped his arms around his waist, gasping quietly when he felt just how much weight Changbin had lost to his unhealthy methods.
Changbin groaned in pain, wrapping his arms around his stomach and shuddering.
Suddenly, his entire body gave up on him, sore and spent from the long hours of gym with no energy intake.
Lixie ran back with the water bottle just to let out a loud scream as Binnie collapsed. Luckily, Seungmin was able to safely lower him to the ground, where the others began to panic and shout, trying to wake him up.
Changbin shook in pain for a few seconds before slumping completely, and Chan ran to get the building doctor.
Hyunjin shook his head unhappily. He had seen it all coming.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Changbin woke up with a jump, feeling fingers running along his side. His eyes felt heavy and exhausted, and he almost shut them again.
“See?! I knew that would wake him up!” Binnie recognized Minho’s voice.
He heard multiple voices around him murmuring, and he watched as Jisung grabbed and yanked him into a hug, and he sank into the younger’s hold.
He felt more arms wrap around him, engulfing him in a wave of warmth and love.
All at once, shame and embarrassment overwashed Changbin’s senses, and he sobbed suddenly, the sounds weak and broken as everyone’s hold tightened, like a strong anchor he could hold onto in the darkest of times.
He cried and cried, wailing quietly and trembling in weakness.
Binnie’s stomach hurt so badly, and he cursed himself for being such a fool, for making a big scene out of everything.
But a voice cut him off. “Take this.” Chan kneeled down to reach his sitting position, placing multiple pills and a glass of water in the rapper’s hand.
At his confused look, Chris explained. “Nutrient deficiency. Overworked and underfed.” He firmly pressed them into the boy’s palm.
Changbin felt embarrassed, for being knocked over like a weak child, and when he looked down in shame, Chan realized that he was being too harsh for someone who had already received punishment enough.
“I’m sorry, bunny. We should have been taking care of you…but we didn’t. I thought you knew better than to do that.” Chan didn’t speak in a angry tone, but a soft, concerned tone, not accusing or harsh.
Changbin sniffled and glanced at the leader with watery eyes. “I’m so sorry, hyung...” He whispered, more tears splashing onto his clenched fists.
Chan’s expression softened as he wiped away Binnie’s tears, the other members staring in slight shock.
“I-I just wanted to look better, for the fans. I don’t wanna look chubby!” He cried out, finally letting out the words that had been plaguing him for so long.
“I don’t want to be hated…I didn’t want any of this…” He whimpered, gasping for breath as Chan’s eyes widened in horror.
Minho stared at the leader in shock, and Hyunjin suddenly felt guilt hit him like a truck, remembering his earlier comment to the older that had made him blank out.
The members hugged him tight, and Chan even sat him on his lap, wrapping his arms around his waist protectively as Changbin finally swallowed the pills slowly.
He whined as Chan pressed in a little deeper, though the leader decided to leave it to another day, and everyone carried the rapper back to dorm.
Lino immediately started up the stove, ready to cook food. Felix grabbed the chocolate bars from the fridge.
After Changbin had taken a much needed shower, he walked into the hall just to see the hall set up for movie night; tons of food and blankets were placed everywhere, along with a fresh batch of brownies.
He looked around for the members, but nobody was there. Suddenly, he felt a pair of arms fasten around his waist, and yank his frail body into the air.
Binnie squealed in surprise, and he stared at Hyunjin as the younger easily manhandled him, carrying him bridal-style to the couch.
Changbin didn’t want to admit it, but watching the dancer lift him like he weighed nothing caused his lee mood to flare up. Badly.
The other members appeared suddenly, kissing his cheeks and playing with his fingers, causing him to flush a happy rosy pink.
They sat Binnie down and took turns feeding him food, and he groaned happily at the taste that he had missed so much, happily taking the food from everyone.
Felix tapped his cheek twice to tell him to open his mouth, and Changbin hesitated as he eyed the brownie in the younger’s hand.
Seungmin appeared behind him and snuck his hands under the boy’s shirt, suddenly tickling him everywhere, and through the rapper’s giggles, Lixie managed to get the brownie in his mouth.
After the small incident, Binnie was unable to focus as his lee mood drove him mad, every touch by another member had him flinching, and it didn’t help that he could hear Chan trying to muffle his laughter as Felix kept poking his side.
Changbin felt like he needed to start provoking somebody to tickle him; there was no way he would be able to sleep with this lee mood.
He suddenly leapt onto Hyunjin, digging into the boy’s sides and hearing loud squawks of laughter.
Soon enough, he let up, hoping that Hyunjin was willing to try and take his revenge somehow.
But it just caused the entire group to start wrecking Hyunjin, and his loud screams drowned out Changbin’s frustrated groan.
That night, Changbin was unable to sleep, staring at his phone. He felt more energized though, probably because the members shoved so much food down his throat his stomach was threatening to burst.
He threw his own arms over his head, wondering what it would feel like to be pinned down so tightly that he couldn’t move, and wrecked in every spot until he went insane.
He watched some clips of the other members tickling each other, and he noticed the absence of clips of his own, though it was clear that he did tickle the others a lot.
Changbin turned off his phone and set it on the bedside table, making sure to keep his arms up as he imagined it.
Usually he was holding the member’s arms above his head, but sometimes when Chan tried to do it to him, he ended up being too strong and yanking his arms down himself.
Changbin whined to himself. Sometimes being the strongest member was a blessing and a curse.
He finally put his arms down as the cold air hitting the underside of his arms started to feel uncomfortable.
Changbin turned and shut his eyes just as he heard the bedroom door open.
Opening his eyes just a little, he spotted Minho and Hyunjin standing over him, and he squeezed his eyes shut. Maybe, they would tickle him awake.
“I know you’re awake, Binnie.”
So much for that. Changbin slowly opened his eyes and stared at the two as they got into bed with him, on either side.
Once they had turned Changbin into the jam spread on their sandwich, they wrapped their arms around him.
It was peaceful and quiet, and Binnie momentarily forgot all about his need for tickles, just enjoying the moment with his members.
Suddenly, an unbearable tingle began at his side, and he grunted before grabbing Hyunjin’s invading hand.
“Don’t.” He said, though he didn’t mean it.
“Oh, I think we should, shouldn’t we?” Minho responded, and Changbin noticed his face burning.
“N-No!” He yelled, Minho’s grip on his wrists suddenly becoming known to him. He squirmed weakly, which was noted by the dancer.
“Did you really think we’d not notice the way you were watching earlier?” Hyunjin giggled, watching Changbin’s eyes widen.
“So, Binnie. Were you…jealous, perhaps?” Lino teased, leaning in slightly knowing that it would fluster the rapper.
“No! W-Why would I be?” Binnie deflected, and Minho released his wrists. “I guess we’re done now.”
Desperate, Changbin replied. “Wait! Okay, maybe I was a little…j-jealous.” He looked down at the end, and the other two cooed playfully at him.
“Did you wanna get wrecked, oh big, tough, Binnie?” Minho teased, watching Changbin’s face turn the color of roses as he whined.
“Is that what you came here for?” Changbin asked, his tone hopeful, which definitely startled Hyunjin.
“What do you mean?” The tallest asked. “I mean, wouldn’t you rather get someone else, you know, someone more ticklish than me?” Changbin whispered, not wanting them to feel uncomfortable.
There was a quiet silence, and Changbin glanced up to see the two staring sadly at him. “Is that why you were upset for so long?” Minho asked, and Binnie nodded slowly.
“I’m so sorry, baby. We should’ve shown equality, but we didn’t.” Minho gave the rapper a quick apologetic hug, suddenly guilty.
“But now, we’ll wreck you the way you deserve.” He gestured to Hyunjin.
“What about the others?” Binnie didn’t want to wake up the sleeping members.
“They’ve gone to the other dorm to get something, it’s just us.” Minho reassured, and Changbin didn’t even notice Hyunjin pulling his arms up and sitting on them.
Minho sent a teasing poke at Binnie’s ribs, the boy shrieking and trying to yank his arms down to protect the spot…just to realize that he was immobile.
“Hyun-JIN! Get ohohoff!” Changbin burst into loud giggles as another pair of fingers walked right into his bare underarms, and Minho concentrated purely on his sensitive hips.
After some time of his cute giggling, Binnie felt a little guilty. “Hyuhuhung! Stohop fohor a sehehecond!”
Minho slowed his fingers so they were just tracing in the crevices of the boy’s ribs. The light sensations sent tingles shooting up Binnie’s body.
“Go rougher…I feel like you’re getting bored.” Binnie pouted sadly. Lino’s face softened, and Hyunjin smiled reassuringly before speaking.
“We’d never get bored with this~” And the tallest started to lightly wiggle his fingers across the boy’s neck, eliciting the cutest giggles from the rapper beneath him.
“How about we go rougher anyway, since our dear Binnie asked for it?” Lino asked, smirking down at the pinned rapper.
The two suddenly started scribbling wherever they could, switching between spots as fast as they could.
Changbin was in shambles, laughter growing louder and louder as he tried his hardest to escape, but just couldn’t.
“See? You’re the least ticklish, but look at how you’re laughing now.” Minho grabbed a small mirror from the bedside table and shoved it in Changbin’s face.
Embarrassed, the rapper tried to turn his head away, but when Hyunjin held his chin and forced him to look at himself, Changbin saw himself.
So content and happy, grinning ear to ear in joy, small tears resting on his rosy face.
Changbin never expected himself to look as pretty as he did, but his chest grew warm in fondness, looking at his own reflection as he giggled involuntarily.
“See? You look so pretty for us, giggling like that~” Minho cooed, fingers still tickling at Changbin’s side as his other hand held up the mirror.
Lino decided to move further up, slipping his hand under the boy’s shirt and squeezing his upper ribs, switching the mirror to his phone as he pressed record.
Binnie cackled with laughter, the cute sound making Hyunjin smile so hard his face started to ache.
“AAAHAH! IHIHIT TIHIHICKLES!” He laughed loudly, falling apart as he tried his hardest to yank his arms down, but couldn’t as Hyunjin sat on them, and his weakened state didn’t allow him to use his strength.
He didn’t even know there was a camera recording him until he heard Hyunjin speak.
“Isn’t he so cute?” The tallest stuck his fingers into Changbin’s outstretched armpits, and the middle screamed as two pairs of hands tickled him to pieces.
“STOPSTOPSTOHOHOHOHOP! HYUHUHUHAHAHAHA!” Binnie was falling apart already, throwing his head in every direction.
“STAYs, you wanna see how ticklish he really is?” Minho followed by blowing a looong raspberry right onto the sensitive area along Binnie’s top ribs, the spot easily accessible due to the tank top that Changbin just couldn’t stop wearing.
Hyunjin pointed the camera to his face right as the boy howled with laughter, high pitched squeals and cackles following as his sensitive spot was abused relentlessly.
His feet kicked wildly in the blankets as small tears fell down his red face.
“NAHAHAHAHA! PLEASE-AGHAHAHAHA!” He couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed so hard, his lee mood satisfied and content.
“OKAAAY—! IHIHIMDONE HYUHUHUNG PLEHEHEASE STAHAHAHAP!” He finally screeched, his now hypersensitive body trembling in exhaustion.
“Only if you admit you’re beautiful!” Hyunjin yelled over the loud laughter.
Changbin shook his head, and Minho only blew harder into the sensitive skin, while Hyune decided to help by lightly tickling the rapper’s neck.
“OKAHAHAY OKAHAHAY! YOU WIHIHIN! IHIHIM BEHEHEAUTIFUL!”
Minho let up, relishing in the dwaekki’s tiny giggles as he rubbed at his body, loudly panting.
The three ended up sleeping together anyway, and Changbin was first to get wrecked in the morning as well.
Wanna know why?
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Chan crowded into the bed with the other kids, too lazy to head back to the other dorm.
He knew Minho would take care of things there anyway.
Suddenly 5 phones lit up, and Chan warily opened the official Kid’s Tiktok.
😼 posted a video: our baby bunny 🐷🐰^^
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Konig Headcanons
Here’s my first post! Let’s go!
In my personal opinion, König is that social anxious person who isn’t shy and timid but the talks fast, says off the wall comments and fidgets a lot type. Just from listening to all his voice lines.
Anywho, here’s some headcanons I have for him. They’re pretty real life of how I think he’d realistically be. SFW and NSFW below the cut.
Warnings: NSFW below the cut, breeding kink, size kink, mentions of bullying.
SFW
- He has to have a strong emotional bond and friendship with someone to want to be physically intimate with them and be in a relationship.
- He’s pretty guarded emotionally, doesn’t want to let others in, he’s been hurt to many times in the past but once he does, don’t take it for granted.
- Can’t stand watching anyone get bullied or mercilessly teased, he would insert himself and defend the person getting picked on. He can handle getting bullied and shrugs it off after a lifetime of it, but absolutely won’t tolerate seeing anyone else have it happen to them.
- Nervous laughter. Laughs in situations where you really shouldn’t be laughing, not because he’s disrespectful but uncomfortable
- Knows how to cook and loves to do it
- He’s incredibly strong, which means he has an extra gentle touch when he’s not at work.
- Has a custom made mattress for his large frame, he got sick of his feet hanging off the bed or sleeping in the fetal position.
- Sleeps splayed out, literally starfishes.
- He snores and talks gibberish in his sleep.
- Big nerd, loves video games and movies.
- Plays games like Call of Duty in his free time.
- Used to read a lot as a kid, since he didn’t have friends, and he misses being able to devour books in a weekend.
- Really wants a happy family someday.
NSFW
- Unpopular opinion but he’s a dom. Sometimes a switch but he’s a big guy, he likes the control. He loves being able to throw his partner around with ease.
- He’s inexperienced sexually, he’s had a couple of partners in the past but only ever did the deed a couple of times.
- In all honesty he’s pretty vanilla. Loves missionary the most and doggy style. He thinks 69 is freaky. It would take him time exploring and getting comfortable with his partner to do new and kinky things.
- Once learning and getting comfortable with exploring kinky things, he’d start to get real freaky.
- loves receiving head, but loves giving it too.
- Always makes sure his partner cums at least once.
- Lasts a long time initially but really only goes one or maybe two rounds.
- Won’t ever do it in public, he’s a private man.
- He’s hung, he knows it and it does give him a confidence boost like any man would but would be nervous to hurt his partner and would always make sure his partner is prepared but he’s still proud of his size.
- He loves hearing his name moaned, it gets him to go harder.
- Curses in German a lot when he’s feeling exceptionally pleased.
- Loves to make eye, that’s why his favorite position is missionary or the mating press.
- Speaking of mating press, man’s got a breeding kink bad.
#konig#konig mw2#konig cod#cod#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#konig headcanons#mw2#headcanon#konig smut#konig x reader
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Where Ed starts to learn that his actions were forgivable and that he is lovable.
Ed believes that he is unlovable and yet the crew shows him love despite everything he put them through. He feels guilt about what he did to them, and yet the crew forgive him easily.
This contradicts some of the takes I’ve seen over the past few months that suggest the crew didn’t forgive Ed, or that it wasn’t explicitly shown that they forgave him. I sometimes wonder if those people missed episode 5. In this episode everyone gets closure (or at least starts to).
Ed’s initial speech might sound like a politician’s speech, but even at that stage some of the crew are won over, some even impressed by his apology.
Ed and Izzy share a drink out of a bottle. Ed apologies to Izzy, saying sorry about his leg. It’s awkward, but it’s right for both of them.
Lucius might not get closure after throwing Ed off the ship, but he does start on a sort of path to healing. His therapy is drawing pictures of Ed in an attempt to reconcile the real Ed with the evil Ed in his head. He is putting Ed’s face on nice things that he likes, like flowers and dogs, and kind of creating positive associations with Ed’s face to wipe out the negative one that he had. It’s great therapy. And then Izzy tells him that moving on is better and Lucius takes Pete’s advice and focuses on the fact that he lived and he finally takes hold of what he wants - a life with Pete.
When Ed speaks to Fang he admits his guilt. He says: “Maybe I did too much. I took a man’s leg. Terrorised you. I wasn’t a good guy. I’d like to make amends, but honestly I wouldn’t even know where to start, what to say to make things better. How to say it. There are certain things I should be saying…”
At which point Fang interrupts and basically stops him saying any more. In fact he accuses him of talking too much “because you don’t know how to sit with yourself.” Why does Fang cut Ed off at that point? Maybe he is just saying it’s ok, we forgive you, or maybe he just wants Ed to stop scaring the fish. Whatever reason Fang thinks Ed has said enough. He is forgiven.
Ed takes on Fang’s advice to stop talking and just “sit with yourself”. The whole experience with Fang probably leads to Ed’s philosophical approach to being a fisherman.
What’s all this say? That Ed feels like he has to do more to make amends, but the crew is like: ”We’re ok. We still love you.” I also think there is an element of we don’t need to forgive you for what happened because it wasn’t your fault, it was your depression and despair. Nobody should be blamed for a mental breakdown.
But even in the next episode Ed still feels the guilt. In the Calipso’s Birthday episode we have the Guilt Room. “Excellent, A reminder of my guilt. A guilt room,” as Ed says. Even though the crew has forgiven him, he won’t forgive himself.
Ed uses the symbol of his guilt for something good, he turns the poison into positivity with the party paid for by the plunder. But then of course even that goes wrong with the arrival of Ned Lowe, which Ed blames himself for (Ned being one of his passive suicide options that he has now brought down on the crew and Stede).
I feel that the choice of words Ed uses when he tries to stop Stede killing Ned are significant. He says: “Killing in cold blood, you can’t come back from that.” I always wondered what he meant by that, it seems a strange thing to suggest that the circumstances would be “in cold blood” (e.g. no emotion, ruthless and unfeeling) when they are anything but. That’s not what Stede is doing at all, Stede is defending his crew and ridding the world of someone who sort to hurt and kill them all. He is defending his crew from an evil person, just like Ed defended his mother and himself from his father. It’s another thing Ed has to learn: that sometimes killing is justified and it doesn’t make you a bad person.
Then Ed goes to Stede afterwards to offer support and Stede’s reaction to Ed standing at the door talking about how his first kill was his father is to pull him towards him. Perhaps this isn’t just Stede saying he wants Ed, it could also be Stede saying that it was the right thing to do for both of them, to protect their family. And that they have that thing in common. They are comforting each other - and it’s definitely what Ed wanted to happen, I firmly believe he didn’t only go to Stede to comfort him.
I’m going to leave it there, because obviously Ed still has a lot to work through before he can truly forgive himself and learn that he is loved, but he is part way there.
#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd meta#save our flag means death#renew as a crew#ofmd renewal#gentlebeard#ed teach#saveofmd
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It's that time again people.
Acotar Rant Time
This started because I was reblogging someone elses post, and making a point about something, then I got sidetracked. And it turned into something else entirely, so here I am ranting about it.
CW Discussions of domestic violence, physical abuse and child-grooming.
I don't think we should throw the whole idea of rejected mating bonds out altogether.
I know the theory mostly stems around Elriels who want to find a way to make their ship become canon. That is not the point of this post. I do not like elriel in the slightest.
I DO THINK that someone rejecting a mating bond to get into another relationship, would mentally harm the persons beyond any ability to cope with the broken bond.
However, we have examples of women who may have very well been better off rejecting their mating bonds then remaining in them. The example I'll be focusing on is Tamlin's mother.
She was taken as the bride of the Spring Lord, because of the mating bond she had with him. We have no idea who she was before, but unlike say Rhysand's mother where her mating bond quite literally saved her from her wings being mutilated. Tamlin's mother isn't said to have been in any bad situation, at least not one I can remember.
For the sake of simplicity, we will say she was born and raised in Spring. Living a, we'll say middle class life. Maybe the daughter of a Lord or Courtier. Maybe she was a peasant but doing well. Just generally, the lack of information when it comes to SJM's writing at least, usually means there wasn't much to be said. So, I will assume she was in a fine situation.
I believe if she was in a horrible situation before the mating bond snapped, that would have been explicitly detailed, like how Rhysand's mother's situation was said to have been.
Then boom, she finds out she is mated to the High lord of Spring, which brings about several changes in her life.
She is taken from whatever living situation she was in before, put into the Spring Lord's manor, and lives amongst his Court. She becomes the Lady of Spring, is put into a high-ranking position as the High lord's consort. She is his mate, so their bond is even stronger.
From the outside, it looks like she has gone from, not much to be told, to something far greater. From outside, everything looks perfect for her.
But as it turns out the High lord of the Spring Court, is worse than Beron himself.
Beron lays hands on his wife, she comes into the High lord's meeting looking malnourished and pale. She can't even make eye-contact with Helion, who is her lost lover. But at the very least, we get a moment of tenderness from Beron, when he puts his hand on hers when speaking of her dead sisters.
(Going off topic real quick here. I think Beron wasn't always as abusive towards his wife as he is now. Not defending him at all, I think it adds nuance to his character. Beron clearly knew the LOA's family, and wanted to have her as his bride for the power in her bloodline. It is quite likely he knew the LOA personally, and marriage with her was purely a political choice.
Plus after the LOA had heirs for him. Beron sent her to live away from the Autumn House. Which is said to be to spread his Court over Autumn. At that same time, if it was that vital to spread out his Court. Then once the War was over, he would have sent the LOA back out away from the Forest House, so clearly it wasn't that important. I believe it was more sending her off, so he didn't have to be around her, and she could live with her sisters.
There is some form of tenderness between them, at least from Beron's actions. I think this may stem from some form of lovingness that was strangled when the LOA had an affair with Helion. I don't think it was her fault. I don't think Beron was a good man to start off with.
And I do not even slightly believe the LOA wanted her marriage. It was forced. I just believe in the theory that Beron once upon a time, may have been quite similar to Eris. Where he keeps emotion away from the game and plays the long run.
However he has succumb to rage and hatred. For reasons that may have had outside influence again. Another layer of nuance to his character. He easily gave into hatred and anger, but I kind of want to know what steered him to that course.)
That was a little off topic, back to what I was saying.
Beron at the very least has some form of empathy. The High lord of Spring is worse.
Meaning I believe he generally has no empathy for his family. Is extremely explosive and angry. And most likely has little to no care for his wife.
It's quite easy to put together that the Spring Lord would have abused Tamlin's mother quite ferociously. But she didn't care, and didn't care for the abuse her sons went through, because she was blinded by her love for him which was made from the bond.
It was not real love.
The point I make here, is that what would have happened if Tamlin's mother rejected the bond?
The rose-tinted glasses would have been forcefully torn off. Of course it would influence her, but the mating bond is said to just linger. It is there and will follow her for the rest of her life, but it would not be nearly as strong. More of a reminder of what she went through.
I think if she rejected the bond, the love she had for Tamlin's father would have been torn away as well. And the abuse he put her and her sons through would be far plainer to see.
Especially when we look at how Tamlin's father dragged him to Hybern, where Amarantha was preying on him as a child. Another note, we have no clue on just how much reign Amarantha had with Tamlin in Hybern. If he wasn't full on touched, it's likely he was mentally and emotionally groomed.
I think the mating bond would influence anger within the Lady of Spring. Not just for the life she was torn away from, but the sons she was forced to bear and how they were being treated.
Anyway.
Give me a fic with the Lady of Spring battling with withdrawal like symptoms from a broken bond.
Give me a real Hades and Persephone story, with Amarantha as Hades, Tamlin as Persephone and Tamlin's mother as Demeter.
Tamlin's father being racked with the grief of the bond and going ballistic, yet Tamlin's mother no longer blinded by fake love, fights back against him.
All this to say, I think there are instances where the rejected mating bond theory would be fucking awesome.
Then the bitter-sweet ending of Tamlin's mother never being completely rid of Tamlin's father, but being able to take a breath that is finally not overshadowed by abuse and a fake love.
All of this was inspired by this post by @the-darkestminds
Yeah the broken bond trope, I don't see happening for Elriel at all. But I think the idea of a broken bond would be awesome. Kind of self-love instead of outside love.
#acotar#tamlin#pro tamlin#tamlin's mother#acotar rant#acotar headcanons#acotar au#amarantha#tamlin's father
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As always, my inner lawyer decided that two in the morning was a good time to talk about Beauty and the Beast (the Disney movie, folks), Stockholm Syndrome, and why the Belle/Beast relationship is great, healthy, and wonderful.
Firstly, let's address Stockholm Syndrome, which is the heaviest accusation and ironically, the easiest to dismiss: this condition occurs gradually between a victim and their abuser. It predicts submission as a defense mechanism — something that definitely doesn't happen in Beauty and the Beast, as every time Belle needs to defend herself, she is assertive and definitely not submissive. In fact, when she feels truly threatened, she flees, an action someone within the syndrome would never take. Belle only becomes vulnerable when she sees the Beast being vulnerable first (in this case, when he gets injured saving Belle from the wolves), never before that.
So, with the Stockholm Syndrome discussion out of the way, all that's left is to show how their relationship is not toxic or problematic but simply an enemies-to-lovers dynamic like any other:
Firstly, let's note the filmmakers' intentions: I don't know if you're aware, but Howard Ashman, who collaborated on the film's production, was a gay man who died shortly after finishing work on Beauty and the Beast. It's remarkable and very powerful that this gay, and HIV-positive man participated in the film because he (much like Belle and the Beast in the film) is a perfect example of being excluded by society because of something inherent that we couldn't change even if we wanted to.
Now, speaking of the story, we have three elements to analyze before diving into the plot: Gaston, the Beast (and in this context, Belle also fits), and the villagers.
Gaston is exactly what society glorifies without reservation, and he knows it. What's scariest about Gaston's villainy is that it's entirely normal; I could go to a nightclub and find at least ten like him just in the entry line.
The Beast, on the other hand, despite embodying everything society glorifies in certain aspects — man, white, rich, and, as far as we know, heterosexual and cisgender, just like Gaston — has something that sets him apart, something for which he is constantly rejected, as depicted in the film — and which is a metaphor for something else — as the "beast's ugliness." The same thing happens with Belle, but in her case, it's more explicit: she is rejected and constantly judged for being a woman who likes to learn, likes to read, something very strange to others.
And then, we have the villagers, who represent society: they judge Belle for being different, judge Maurice for being eccentric, and judge and exclude anyone who opposes their "normality," as Belle herself mentions in the first conversation with her father on screen:
" — Daddy? Do you think I'm… strange?
— My daughter? Strange? Where did you get such an idea?
— Oh, I don't know. It's just that I don't feel like I fit in here: I don't have anyone to talk to." (Guys that's a direct translation of the Brazilian dubbing, so things might be different from the original English)
Having defined these three main aspects of the film, let's analyze the plot (remembering that I'll start talking about the story without including the Beast's behavior before the story begins, i.e., I won't consider the reasons that led the enchantress to transform him into the Beast because it's only briefly mentioned, so I can't judge motives or understand his behavior then):
At the beginning of the film, when Maurice is imprisoned by the Beast, a line from her while Belle's father is terrified to see him for the first time catches my attention:
" — What are you looking at? […] So, you've come to see the Beast, haven't you?"
And this line just breaks me because it implies (even if it's not spoken in the film) that not so long ago, people would go to the castle to ridicule the Beast's appearance, like a bunch of idiots mocking others' suffering. This alone explains the Beast's angry behavior at this event — of course, provided you understand that the whole issue of imprisoning Belle's father for "trespassing" needs to be understood by anachronism since we can't forget that the story actually takes place in pre-French Revolution France.
So, Belle arrives and decides to stay in his place. It's important to understand that here, the Beast sees a chance — perhaps for the first time — to truly break the curse: Belle not only seems to fear him as much as she is willing to stay, in the Beast's view, by her own choice. Complicated situation or not, the Beast has a chance to rid himself (and all the others whose conditions are his fault and his responsibility) of a condition that causes him suffering, and he chooses it when Belle offers it to him.
One detail between scenes that is very important to notice as well: very different from Gaston, the Beast listens to those who are "inferior" to him. While Gaston constantly ignores, interrupts, and belittles LeFou, the Beast listens to Lumière when he suggests that he move Belle to a room instead of the cell or when he suggests that the Beast try to engage in a conversation as he leads her to the room, he listens when Cogsworth and Mrs. Potts give suggestions to him before dinner that Belle refuses. Later on, he even asks Lumière and Cogsworth for gift suggestions for Belle. The Beast listens to the people around him and ends up agreeing with them when they are right, and this is very important to form an idea of his character: someone who really listens to the people around him is not normally abusive.
It's also interesting to note that, as much as the "staff" in the castle is wary of the Beast's temper, this does not stop them from trying to speak up when they think something should be changed, which is more than can be said for Gaston, who constantly "shuts up" LeFou while he's giving his opinion, except if it's to glorify him: another very important character trait that can be pointed out.
Within this situation, there's Belle's rejection for different reasons than society's: although I believe Belle has her share of prejudice too, the main reason for Belle's rejection of the Beast is the fact that she's imprisoned there, something the Beast ultimately doesn't understand and which initiates the conflict between them. However, even when the Beast is completely angry, Belle doesn't accept his behavior, so much so that when the moment comes when he gets angry about the West Wing, she flees.
At this moment, however, there's another thing that catches my attention: as soon as Belle leaves the West Wing and the Beast "calms down," he immediately feels devastated because he knows what he did and knows he did wrong, but mainly because he knows he will be rejected once again — and this time it's his fault. Unfortunately, it's common that when we are constantly seen as less than human, we begin to see ourselves as such and, worse, we begin to act as less than human.
Still, he goes after her and protects her from the wolves, and then, once again, Belle chooses to return. But skipping this, let's go to the part where she takes care of him and says, "By the way, thank you. For saving my life."
Here, it's possible to understand that for the first time since she decided to stay, Belle "lets her guard down" around the Beast, and what he does in return is simply a "You're welcome": he also becomes vulnerable around her. They take a step toward each other. Now, a toxic person would surely take the opportunity to point out how Belle was being irresponsible, or how she shouldn't have gone to the West Wing, thus recapitulating the previous discussion between them to prove she was right or something like that.
By deciding to simply say "you're welcome," the Beast not only behaves very maturely, but he takes responsibility for what he did in the West Wing, accepts that it had consequences, but also comes to understand that he can do the right thing and, once he does, he will be heard.
So, in this first part of the film, as long as one of them doesn't give in at some point, they're in constant conflict, just like enemies. There is no abuse there that is done between two people who love each other or are friends or lovers: there is only the exchange between two people who, for their own reasons, are not comfortable being vulnerable with each other.
Now, let's fast forward to the scene before the library, where Belle is walking with Philippe and is upset, then he and the little dog cheer her up. It's important to understand here, as in previous scenes, that Belle doesn't end up enjoying being in the palace just because of the Beast, but also because of all its inhabitants: Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts, Chip, Lumière, the dog, Philippe, Plumette, etc.
Still in this scene, we are transported to the Beast's view from above, watching Belle playing in the gardens. At this point, he touches the splint that Belle made and decides he wants to "do something for her." He decides he wants to reward her because she was kind to him as if this were not the least one could do, as if he didn't understand kindness as a treatment that should be standard for any human being. How much must a person be judged and rejected to think that kindness is some treatment exclusive to the "deserving"?
This can also be noticed sometime later when they're having breakfast and the Beast eats messily at the table, which ends up upsetting Belle. He notices and tries another way, but eating with the spoon makes him uncomfortable, so, as he takes a step towards her, Belle meets him halfway, with both drinking straight from the bowl, both becoming comfortable. It can also be seen in the scene before the snowball fight when the Beast sings/thinks:
"I noticed your look
And it didn't shake when it touched me
It can't be, what foolishness
No one ever looked at me like that before."
(Again, that's the direct translation of the Brazilian version but I've read the English version and it goes somewhat like that so I decided to leave this one)
The scene where she's reading and asks him to read too is very strong for a few reasons: the first is because of the clear contrast that exists between him, asking them to read Romeo and Juliet again, and Gaston, who treats books in a way that makes me want to murder someone (in fact, I would jump on him the first time he threw my book on the ground, I don't know how Belle can have the patience to deal with him); and the second reason is because after she asks him to read, he admits that he can't, another action that points to the Beast's character. Although he thinks it "devalues" him in some way, he doesn't hesitate to admit that he doesn't remember how to read and doesn't hesitate to accept Belle's help with that.
Then comes the "ball" scene and the moment when Belle admits that she can't be completely happy there because she misses her father so much. There, as in other times in their relationship, the Beast tries to reach a compromise, something both of them feel comfortable with, by giving Belle the mirror so she can see Maurice. But there's no middle ground when it comes to freedom, and once the Beast understands this, he sets her free from the deal she made with him.
Because he loves her, he can't keep her captive, but the Beast thinks that someone can only love him if that person is "trapped" with him. The Beast — and, in reality, even the other castle staff — don't believe that someone can choose him, and that's why they see Belle's departure as a farewell, as a definitive farewell, when in fact she is perfectly capable of coming back.
And then there's the cruelest moment of this film when Gaston finds the Beast and he's sitting on a couch, and the Beast sees Gaston with the arrow pointed and simply does nothing to stop him. This moment breaks me into pieces with so much pain I feel because he's no longer angry, he's no longer reacting against those who are cruel to him because he's different: he's sad, and much more than that, he's tired of fighting against all that prejudice and that feeling that no one will ever love him because of what makes him different.
The Beast almost gives up because he doesn't see anything worth fighting for anymore.
So, that's why I hate it when someone reduces Beauty and the Beast to say that the story is about an abusive relationship, or that Belle has Stockholm Syndrome, or something like that, because the discussion is so much bigger and so much more complex than that, even though it's a children's movie.
I mean, look at how "society" treats the three central characters: they glorify the bully who likes to intimidate and bully people who are different, the guy who is so proud and arrogant that he can't even hear the "friends" he has if they're not praising him, who thinks he can change someone (Belle) to fit into his standards just because he wants to. Meanwhile, the village mistreats, excludes, and ridicules Belle for reading and Maurice for being eccentric, and later, they even try to attack the Beast's castle because of it.
And the love story between Belle and the Beast is about two people who are suffering because of the same problem and end up finding comfort, support, and kindness in each other. It's so much more beautiful than people believe. To conclude, I'll leave here a quote I found in a defense text while researching to write this text:
"Society rewards bullies because it has been taught to believe that their victims don't fit in. And that if someone doesn't fit in, that person needs to be put in their place, or destroyed. And this film clearly demonstrates that this way of acting and thinking is wrong […] and that's why this is one of my favorite Disney movies."
That's it. I hope I've made everything very clear.
#books#film#screenwriting#beauty and the beast#disney#disney movies#disney princess#disney animation#disney classics#disney princesses#character analysis#animation#writer stuff#writers#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity
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