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houseki-no-suffering · 1 day

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Hey! I found a post of yours (specifically a phos analysis) from a looong while ago. Just curious to hear what your thoughts on the last chapters and the conclusion of the story are!

I recently finished the manga after putting it off for 4 years, and it was an incredible but such a bittersweet read. Maybe it's just me being a sucker for happy endings, but man, it really did not get happier </3

And you probably already know this, but did you know that Ichikawa released the last chapter the same day a comet flew by that looked exactly like the comet from the last chapter? Really cool stuff but I am emotionally destroyed haha

I suppose it was the only kind of happy ending HnK could have, and I don't think I mind it as much as other things that have happened in the last few chapters. It reads more HnK than anything that has happened in the past 1-2 years of serialization.

I appreciate the bittersweet notes (always have) and Ichikawa's words that this is how she wanted the story to end, it doesn't happen to every mangaka. Also, the comet bit is such a nice touch.

As for Phos (I suppose this is the post you meant?), I do believe that they got a happy ending.

If you think about it, instead of becoming a lunarian and being prayed away like the others, Phos' journey gave them the power and knowledge to rise above them. Thanks to their flaws (being brittle, having special inclusions, maybe being the most human of all the gems) they became human, the most flawed of creatures, and basically reverted to the purity of a child, a god, sin-less (even if this is a Buddhist story, so idk if I can actually speak of sin) and therefore free of everything that made humanity always dissatisfied, dangerous and unhappy. The others renounced existence, Phos found a way to reach paradise.

Humanity doesn't come out of this looking like a nice bunch of people to hang out with, and neither do the lunarians (gems included at this point). And yet, there's so much compassion in everything Phos does: a kind child, up until the very end.

I always speculated (and was not alone in this) that Phos' job would become to pray the lunarians/everyone away, find Cinnabar the job to kill them, become a Bodhisattva... in this, I believe, the story remained true to itself. What I believe no one saw coming was how shallow(?) it all seemed in the end.

Everyone came back, making Phos' sacrifices and suffering basically meaningless, everyone started getting along and solving centuries-old problems in seconds. Then, Ichikawa introduced so many new changes abruptly... It felt rushed, lazy and overly simple, when most of us loved HnK for its complexity and depth.

Maybe it was because Ichikawa wanted (or needed to) end the series with ch 108. Usually, when mangaka put a limit to the chapters they want to write, it really damages the story and I wasn't a fan of this even in this situation.

Aside from these issues, I appreciate how Ichikawa seemed to care about the character of Phos.

Maybe this all happened so that Phos could be happy, maybe this was the only possible way for Phos to be happy? It would be a little bit like in Devilman, where the world basically ends only so that Satan can understand love. Idk, little old Phos didn't seem that desperate a case, they just wanted truth, yes, this did cause some... issues, but other than that they're a sweetheart.

This is the leitmotif of the series, after all: Phos is a kind, selfless gem who cultivates a deep sense of self-hatred.

They internalize a pressure and a need to feel useful (coming from gem society) and turn them into a necessity for change (unlike in gem society). Initially, they want to find a job. Then, they want to help Cinnabar find a job, then they want to help Ventricosus, then then want to become a fighter, then they want to help sensei, then the gems, then the lunarians...

Contrary to most of the other gems, Phos loves and loves openly and unconditionally. They start off as a self-less creature who believes that their life isn't worth anything. Therefore, they put it on the line time and time again and, eventually, lose it time and time again as they change form.

It's their journey towards truth and happiness: they change and lose pieces of themselves, forget things, renounce gem-ness in favor of humanity and then humanity for god-hood.

Phos changes until they find the form that makes them happy. Their purest, happiest form. They change so much that they come back to square one almost: they become pure Phosphophyllite, with no inclusions at all. Still fragile, still small, but selfless and cheerful. Carefree.

In a sense, HnK ends with Phos becoming Phos.

#houseki no kuni #hnk #land of the lustrous #hnk spoilers #apologies ive only become wordier with the years #i think our mistake was to think that this story would deconstruct buddhist narratives while it catually did the opposite #ichikawa fooled us #also i would love to update that post about the timeline of the manga #i have a couple billion years to catch up with

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blueseint · 3 days

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one thing i love about sz/sz is the clear distinction of themes and the way both of them view each other and just mixing it all. I can enjoy my fair share of possessive zoro when it comes to zs but it's more about thinking about how his devotion towards the rest of the crew (pre relationship) fuels his feelings towards sanji and the need to make sure he knows how important he is for him, how he would follow him anywhere sanji wants. Zoro would do anything as long as it made sanji happy imo (it can totally turn a little bit weird, we are talking about ZOSAN of all people. Zoro would definitely say some insane shit like cutting his chest open and giving sanji his own heart in case he is hungry or something like that)

And don't get me started with sanji's need to make sure zoro feels loved all the time, not just with food, but through quality time (no matter how little it is, his free time would definitely be reserved for zoro) he would think his actions are his way of saying "i understand how lonely you must have felt" after kuina and his years as a pirate hunter which later on turns into a "i want to give you a piece of what zeff and the rest of the baratie staff gave me". Sanji would be SO sweet with zoro once in a established relationship, and zoro would feel a kind of love he never knew existed, and that realization alone is enough for him to bow to never let anything bad happen to sanji, not because he thinks sanji is weak but simply because its what he deserves. Seeing sanji happy makes zoro happier

#one piece #op zosan #op #zosan #sanzo #idk where this came from #but like... so many stuff w possessive zoro and weak? sanji. im fine with it as i said but i hate when people think thats all there is wthe #also a friend sent me a message a while back saying 'i just want to see zoro being LOVED and i know sanji can do that' and my goddd #that message alone was enough to fuel this view of them #im a definitely sz/zs enjoyer. More is always better #but its difficult to find good zs sometimes. Kudos to anyone writing/depicting zs with a very devoted and goofy zoro

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coraniaid · 1 day

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Top five Fuffy fics (written by authors other than yourself)

Well, I'm not sure the restriction's necessary: I don't think I'm being unduly modest in saying there are a lot more than five Fuffy fics out there that are much better than anything I've ever written (or even come close to writing, frankly).

Uh. Limiting myself to one per author and to completed works only, and not trying to sort the top five in any way, without thinking about it too hard my top five would be:

To Live In The World by IvorySteel92. There are lots of Season 6 Fuffy fics, lots of which are really, really good, but this is the only one that made me cry twice, so it must be the best. Faith comes to Sunnydale after Buffy dies to try to do the right thing and take over as the Slayer, but then Buffy comes back to life. Only this time, unlike in canon, Buffy really does come back wrong...

Je me souviens by zulu. A classic, from all the way back in 2005. Again, there are lots of Season 4 Fuffy fics -- including at least one more that I love and that almost made this list -- but I don't see how I could not include this one. Faith wakes up from her coma, not knowing where she is, struggling to remember the fading details of a dream in which somebody she can't remember is chasing her with a knife. To the extent there is a single Fuffy fic any fan of the ship should be familiar with, I think this must be it.

147 Days by TigerDragon. Another relatively older fic -- this time from 2012 -- but one which doesn't seem to have gotten quite as much recognition as I think it deserves. It's part nine of a fourteen part series (starting all the way back in Season 3 and carrying on well past canon), but you don't really need to know much more than that this is -- technically -- canon-compliant, and that it covers the time Faith spends in prison while Buffy is dead. I think it's amazing and that far more people should read it.

Flowers For A Ghost / The Girl From Away by aliceinwonderbra. I'm cheating a little bit here, as these are technically two separate stories, though you could read them in either order and both have the same starting premise. Buffy wakes up in hospital surrounded by her friends after jumping into Glory's inter-dimensional portal to save Dawn. Only, she isn't waking up surrounded by exactly who she thinks she is. While the main reason I got into Fuffy a few years ago was rewatching Buffy during lockdown and finally having the pieces click, I genuinely think this series runs it a close second. I don't think I would have started writing anything Buffy related myself if -- having finished that rewatch -- I hadn't thought "huh, I wonder if anybody has ever written Faith/Buffy fanfiction?" and eventually stumbled onto these stories.

Body Language by explosionshark. As a rule, and despite my many complaints about Season 7 itself, I think Chosen was pretty close to the perfect way to end the show, which makes me a little wary of post-canon fics. But this one is so good it makes a mockery of any reservations I had: I cannot imagine a happier, more faithful-to-the-characters continuation to Buffy and Faith's story. (Oh, and as the tags make clear -- and as I think Faith would insist my previous description already strongly implies -- Buffy and Faith have a lot of sex in this one.)

#thanks #asks #fanfiction #fic recs #fuffy #btvs

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romance-rambles · 10 hours

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ROSES FOR THE BLUSHING BRIDE

Your attempt at killing your kidnapper goes awry. How tragic it is—that the man who killed your love wore his face first.

— word count: 2.1k

— pairing: [unspecified] alkaid mcgrath x little painter/you

— tags: mentions of murder, suicidal thoughts and suicide, alternate universe - vampire/vaguely historical/reincarnation, mentioned non-con kissing+biting, unhappy ending [neither of them are mentally well - possibly ooc?]

— note: inspired by my little ramble in the tags of this gif post so it's technically PL but it could just be au alkaid. not sure if i did it justice but also, i wrote this over the course of two days so!! small victories!!! 🎉

return to lbc masterlist | series: none

THE DOOR CREAKS LIGHTLY AS it opens, the warmth of your candlestick highlighting the steps beyond it. The monster that resides in this manor is foolish, and your Alkaid is—was—not. The hefty lock that once guarded against you sits carelessly beneath a portrait of a woman who looks like you—who was once you, if the ravings of a mad man are to be taken seriously.

And if they are, then you will meet him soon—the man you were set to marry, with the same bright green eyes and light blond hair, and a warmth that the lord of this manor greatly lacks.

And if they aren't, then, that is simply not possible. Because, you think, how else can this be explained?

Your fingers lightly graze over the most recent puncture wound at the base of your neck. They play connect the dots and the monster's claim draws a circle. It ends where it starts, with the gemstones on the dagger's obnoxiously decorated hilt digging into the palm of your hand and your teeth gnawing at your bottom lip.

There sits a bruise there, the likes of which you've only ever allowed one man to gift you. You can still taste your own blood upon your tongue, metallic and bitter, but you can no longer remember your lover's smile.

Yearning overwhelms you, for a man long dead. It is something you can fight off almost as well as the monster. And it is a maddening thing—the way your carefully-groomed nails desire to claw your skin off. The way your hand twitches, dagger still in hand.

It is a mistake to think of him at all.

You cannot afford any mistakes, not when your weapon has been promised a different target. You cannot afford any mistakes, when your next life is to be a happier one.

So, the candlestick lifts higher.

Heels you might've chosen for yourself in another life clack against stone, the sound echoing throughout the darkened chamber. Yet, the monster still slumbers, oblivious to your intrusion. At the very end of the room lies a coffin, and there he waits, surrounded by white and green. By roses and their stems carefully preserved, a silent mockery of the promise Alkaid once made you.

Eternal loyalty—but this is not the eternity you desire.

In hopes of composing yourself, of chasing away the familiar disgust, fury, loathing, you tear your gaze away from the coffin. The grey floor has borrowed an orange hue from the candlelight. As you cross the distance, you do not look at the portraits that line the walls, with their never-changing subject, the contents of which you know only because the monster brought you to his lair exactly once.

You, with the same dead eyes and the same dead love and the changing fashions doing little to distract from your likeness. You, who were unfortunate enough to fall in love with that monster in some other lifetime, having been blinded by his pretty face.

And the bile that climbs your throat at the thought, which you choke back with a tired grimace—that, too, is familiar.

WHEN YOU REACH THE COFFIN, the first thing you do is yank the flowers out of your sight. Your dagger comes in use much earlier than expected, handling all that your hands cannot.

It is the least you can do for Alkaid.

The monster remains asleep throughout. It's convenient—if you'd known it was that easy, you would've done it sooner. You would've avenged him sooner. Alkaid was a light sleeper, and you had assumed the same held true for the monster.

With the same hand that carries the dagger, you open the casket. It takes a bit of effort to ensure you never lose sight of your target—quite literally. The payoff lies in the way the candlelight illuminates the man resting within.

His lighter hair takes on a warmer hue, thought it's incomparable to the way Alkaid's hair would gleam golden under the sunlight. He is blue, dressed in an outfit that looks to be the furthest thing from comfortable sleepwear. Alkaid was beige and green, and he was always getting on your case about dressing comfortably.

Marking the spot where your hands should hover, you set the candlestick beside you, careful to ensure its enthusiastic flame avoids the hem of your dress. You're almost giddy with excitement.

You'll see Alkaid soon. You'll get to him, even if it takes ten or twenty—

The monster mumbles your name lovingly.

Alkaid?

The dagger freezes just before the blade can slice through the layers of fabric guarding his heart. Your heartbeat quickens. You watch the figure warily, waiting for anything that could signal his monstrous nature.

Why would Alkaid be here when he is meant to be dead?

But the monster has never said your name before. You are simply his bride, just the most recent in a long string of replacements. If you did not share the same name as all the rest, you're certain he wouldn't know what it was.

And if it is Alkaid, if he has turned into a monster, if he is just as much a victim as you—

How could you ever dare to hurt him?

You can't lose him again. His family and yours, if they're still alive, would gladly testify about the absolute wreck you'd been when he disappeared a few days before your wedding.

It was only when one of his friends mentioned that he had seen Alkaid near the monster's manor that you'd found the resolve to crawl out of your bed for the first time in weeks.

Of course, you hadn't known just yet that there was a monster at all. You hadn't known of all that was to transpire—that had already transpired.

Your grasp on the dagger's hilt tightens—you don't want it anywhere near Alkaid. You want to know if he's Alkaid. You want to shake the man awake and ask, Are you him? Are you the one I've been searching for? And what about the monster?

You know that if he says he was the monster all along, you'll forgive him with an ease he would not deserve.

Again, the man mumbles your name. It does much to distract you from your spiralling thoughts.

After all, it sounds like coming home.

You want to believe it sounds like coming home.

"Al—"

As if sensing that his name is on the tip of your tongue, the man rouses himself from his slumber. The first thing he seems to gaze upon is you—and the dagger you've pulled close to yourself.

Ah.

You tremble. His gaze is cold and his grip is bruising. Alkaid has never looked at you so unkindly. You used to find it disconcerting how easily the glare on his face would slip away if he glanced at you. Now you wish for it more than anything.

What have you done wrong? Why is he upset?

In your desperation, you almost beg: Alkaid—

Then, you blink, remembering the weapon in your hands. It coincides with the moment that a sense of clarity washes over you, beckoning you to recall your mission. To remember—

This man isn't Alkaid.

"Oh." Your heart flutters strangely. You want to claw it out too. "The monster."

Alkaid is dead, after all.

"Yes," the monster agrees.

The dagger plunges into his heart.

AN ORDINARY MAN WOULD KEEL over from the pain. The monster only grunts. You might as well compare it to bumping into the furniture by accident, with the way he seems so unfazed.

His gloved hand climbs down to your clenched fist, as if hoping to wrench the dagger away from your fingers. He is a monster and your Alkaid was not—that is what makes the difference between living and dying.

"You didn't die," you note, disappointment plainly evident in your tone. "Did you know?"

Did you know this would happen when you gave me this dagger?

"I'm difficult to kill," he responds flatly.

You wonder who the scorn in his voice is directed to. His gaze seems distant—which one of your predecessors is he thinking of? But you've never learned to tell the difference, so it's not as though the answer would make any sense to you.

"Unlike Alkaid?"

The monster remains silent. It only infuriates you more.

"I hate you," you spit out. Tears well up in your eyes, though for what reason, you're not sure. "I'm sure they all hated you too."

Anger briefly flashes across his bright green eyes. Instinctively, you pull your hand away, pulling the dagger along with you. Blood drips onto your nightgown, dying its white fabric a bright red.

Beyond an sharp inhale, the monster's expression remains unchanged. You're almost surprised at how easily he lets go of your hand, at only the slightest show of resistance.

"I know they did," he says, eyeing the new stain on your dress. You don't want to put a name to the emotion on his face. A monster like that doesn't deserve it. "They all told me as much."

You fill in the blanks yourself. Before they died. But they must've been the same as the monster when they died—that is why he refrained from performing that particular act with you. That is why the blemishes on your skin have nothing to do with any sort of traditional violence.

He hates it when you're hurt.

"And how did they die?"

He doesn't care enough to see that you're past that point.

He looks haunted. "That's not something I want to tell you."

A spiteful part of you delights in watching his expression. It wonders how much more his face will crumple when you meet the same fate. Dying is the only part of your gambit that was guaranteed to work out flawlessly in the end—the only time you've ever tried to trust the monster sitting in his coffin.

(I will turn you only if you truly desire it.

...I don't believe you.

Do as you please. I will hold onto my word regardless.)

The dagger is still in your hand. You pull it away from the monster's reach and nod almost imperceptibly. You cannot kill him because you do not know how.

But you are not beholden to the same laws of nature as him.

"And you won't tell me where to find whatever it is that killed them either?" you ask, though you know it's useless to ask.

For you, it is either death or a life spent with the very monster that stole your lover away. You will remember nothing of this conversation, nor of the pain you went through when you awaken once again. And you will go through the same pain and suffering, all the while cursing your predecessors for not taking care of what should be their mistake.

But you can still meet your beloved.

You want to meet your beloved.

"You have no need for such a thing," he says, with your name on his lips.

That is enough for you.

HIS EYES ARE GREEN JUST like Alkaid's. It's something you've noticed before.

As the dagger pierces your flesh, they widen in horror. You can't feel much of anything—if your hands were not holding onto its hilt, you wouldn't know you'd been stabbed.

There's an odd expression on the monster's face. Pained and familiar. It reminds you of the time you tripped over your own two feet, leaving you with scraped knees and elbows, and your dinner for the night littered across the ground.

You'd left Alkaid behind in a hurry, the siren's call of a warm meal too difficult to resist, and he hadn't been quick enough to catch you.

But the man in front of you is not the man you love.

Your lips pull into a faint smile regardless.

You're not sure why.

THE HANDS THAT WRAP AROUND are so terribly cold. You know for certain they belong to the monster. His tears drip down onto your cheek and you're surprised to learn that he can cry. But the blood on your hands, on the dagger lodged into your stomach, is sticky and warm.

Your neck remains untouched. His previous words echo through your mind—a man can only watch the woman he loves die so many times, after all.

You think you might pity him.

That is, before the memory of his confession, of the way he killed your love, leaves you with nothing but fury coursing through your veins.

You think you curse him.

You think he welcomes it.

#fics by aya #lovebrush chronicles #lovebrush chronicles x reader #for all time #for all time x reader #alkaid mcgrath #alkaid mcgrath x reader #lbc alkaid #lbc alkaid x reader #lovebrush alkaid #lovebrush alkaid x reader #rambles from here on ->#looking up card arts and guessing what's going on seems like a very productive use of my time #i already have a second alkaid card in mind (it's wedding unascended)#but i don't know what the plot is even though ik i want it to be witch!alkaid+reunion #some kind of friends to strangers deal like my mind is saying time travel shenanigans waking up 10 years in the future #also have something for ayn but it's more mundane “oops accidentally got married and now we have to live together”#or something along those lines—there was another card where he was the most beautiful man alive but #idk how to translate that into plot #im thinking late night return from a trip turns into a proposal from mc or something—he was REALLY beautiful #that or idol boyfriend shows up at 3 am at your door for some godforsaken reason and it's still a proposal #also for some reason i really love alkaid and white roses...which—fair enough

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a-very-mere-mortal · 2 days

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A Review of In Stars and Time

If you're seeing this, you've probably already played In Stars and Time. I'm not exactly bursting with followers from before I became obsessed with it. But this is still worth making, just in case I can convince one person to pick this game up. So, to give you fair warning, there will be some (hopefully) light spoilers in this. If you want the basics, just skip to the last two paragraphs, but if you want an idea of my emotional impression of the game, try this on for size:

In Stars and Time is an RPG about the power of friendship in which you play as Siffrin, a quiet and introspective rogue out to save the country of Vaguarde from the evil King, who seeks to freeze the world in time. With them are their friends Mirabelle, Odile, Bonnie, and Isabeau, and they all draw strength from the wonderful bonds that their little group has. Arriving in the town of Dormont, you and your friends charge up the House of Change to meet the King, ready to defeat him using the magic of...

Uh oh. Something seems to have gone wrong here. I'm pretty sure that you weren't supposed to die this early. If it was the final battle and this was some kind of grand sacrifice I would get it, but as of right now... let's just try this again.

In Stars and Time is a game about time loops. Specifically, the one that you, Siffrin, are stuck in. It turns out you may have been less prepared to fight the King than you thought. Don't worry though; you have all the time in the world to figure it out, even if it's a little more difficult than it first appeared. Just remember to rely on your helpful guide Loop, who's here to help you make it through the best they can, even if they don't know how or why the loop started in the first place. But as if getting through the House of Change wasn't hard enough, what with its traps, locked doors, and vicious Sadnesses standing in your way, you have to manage your party members too. As it turns out, they aren't looping with you. But don't worry! While you may have felt a little lost at first, eventually you discover the perfect things to do and say to make them like you even more than the first time around. With your bonds stronger than ever and your route through the House perfectly memorized, you charge up to face the King in a heated battle with the fate of Vaguarde on the line! It's difficult, but in the end you triumph over the King and head into the final room of the House to celebrate with your friends- no, your family.

That's odd. You've defeated the King with the best possible ending, but there's still another 3 Acts left in the story. What's going on here?

In Stars and Time is just another trash indie game. I'm sorry you had to find out this way, but it's true; this game should be 10 hours shorter and cut right after you beat the King with your family in tow. It hurts to play because now that things have gone wrong, things seem to have gotten worse in your head, too. Where's the resolution to this story? When does it end? You said all the right things, you made all the right moves, and your family members have never been happier! By any other game's logic, this would be the endpoint. You may have struggled to make it through the time loop, but since you managed to keep your sanity intact and be nice to your friends, you get a gold star and the true ending. For some reason, this game refuses to let you have that success, and I'm infuriated on your behalf. I suppose you'll have to keep looking for a solution somewhere within the House, even though I know you're getting a little sick of it by now. Try not to get too frustrated by all this, okay? It would be quite awful if you did something you'd regret because you were feeling...

Ah. Well.

That changes my opinion of things, I suppose. I have no words that could do justice to what we just experienced. What a finale, eh? Let's try this review one more time, with a more...complete view of things. No more of this "describe what happens in the game step by step" malarkey. Everyone knows that's bad practice anyways.

In Stars and Time is an RPG about memory, communication, and the mortifying ordeal of being known. (It'll make more sense when you play it). With a lovely sound track and both beautiful hand-drawn and pixelated artwork, In Stars and Time manages to convey one the best stories I have ever experienced in the history of gaming. If you're the sort that likes comparisons, I would describe this game as a combination of the the humor and surprising depth of the Stanley Parable, the intense emotional characters and tight writing of Undertale, and the incredible worldbuilding of Harry Potter (without having to suffer through J. K. Rowling). I felt genuinely mystified by the unexplained and had a strong desire to learn more about the world during my unfortunately brief time within it.

3 weeks after completing the game, I'm still stewing in the things I felt and the realizations I came to while playing it. This is one of the few games I can say genuinely changed my life; after playing it I found the strength to reach out and connect to the friends I have in the real world on a level I never thought I'd be able to achieve. I feel a moral obligation to recommend this game; if it can do the same things for you that it did for me, it would be evil of me to deny you them. For the incredibly modest price of 20$, you will experience approximately 20 hours of soul-gripping gameplay that might stick with you for the rest of your life. This is something worth your time.

#isat #logoffspeaks #review #game review #pc games #video games #steam games #gaming #videogame #game recommendations #switch games #in stars and time #it's way easier to write if you pretend to be a different character #if anyone can guess who i'll be shocked

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c4rm3nn--hq · 2 days

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if possible, maybe something like the reader telling q about past sh (self-harm) and him reassuring them and saying that he still loves them?

(first time requesting, did I do it right help?)

" 𝑻𝒆 𝒂𝒎𝒐 𝒎𝒖𝒄𝒉𝒐, 𝑨𝒎𝒐𝒓"

A/n:I'm going to do more of a headcannon style since you didn't specify

Use of they/them pronouns can be read as she/her or he/him

Warnings: Mentions of self harm, visible scars

You had been clean for quite some time now. All that was left were the scars, they weren't to obvious but you could see them if you had someone pay attention to you in the way Alex did.

He knew they were there. He didn't bother to ask about them. He knew if you wanted to open up and tell him, you would.

It was until one night you caught him staring at them, you quickly moved to cover them. Alex sighed and grabbed your hand back up and held it.

You looked up at him.

"You know..you made me a lot happier.."

He looked at you deeply. Taking in every part of you.

"Really?"

You let out a quick soft laugh, Maybe a giggle.

"Yeah, I used to..well obviously you can tell, but I used to want to just not exist anymore, I hated life I hated myself, I mean you can see it..." You said gesturing to the marks across you,"...who couldn't see them, they're hideous, I remember after seeing the scars thinking 'no one could love someone with scars like this'," Your voice choked at the end, threatening a sob.

Alex looked at you with his dark eyes confused on how the person in front of him could talk about not being lovable.

"Mi amor, anyone who wouldn't love you for that would be crazy. And they are not 'hideous'," he said rubbing his hands up and down your scars. "You are the most... gorgeous, amazing, perfect, caring, human being I've ever fucking met, so don't ever think otherwise about you self 'kay Mi Corazón?"

Tears filled up into your eyes and began to spill, yes of course Alex reminded you of those things everyday, morning, noon, and night but never in that way.

He picked you up and held you rubbing his hand up and down your back.

"Te amo mucho, amor, por favor nunca lo olvides ni dejes que nada te haga pensar diferente,"

And in that moment you had felt so peculiar that maybe the pain wouldn't be forevermore.

He held you all night, all week, all year, new years day to the next new years eve.

Forever and always.

Neither of you would let go.

✩✰✩✰✩✰✩✰✩✰✩✰✩✰✩✰✩✰✩✰✩✰✰✩✰✩

AHHH TYSM FOR READING

request are open

#quackity x reader #quackity x y/n #quackity angst #quackity fanfic #quackity x #quackity headcannons #quackity qsmp #qsmp quacki #quackity smut #quackity #alex quackity

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social-anxiety-and-poetry · 2 days

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hey todd !! how do you see your relationships with all of the other poets?

Hello there!! Hmm it's only been a few weeks, so I don't want to assume anything, but genuinely, since meeting the dead poets, I've never been happier (please don't tell them because I'll be teased for days-).

They can be quite an- overwhelming bunch, but I genuinely do care about them so much.

Charlie is incredibly outgoing, and loud at times, but that's just Charlie and honestly he's a joy to be around. He's never once made me feel uncomfortable and always respects when I need my personal space- he also brings the best snacks, especially on days when I'm feeling more anxious, which I'm so grateful for.

Meeks has been tutoring me Latin and Algebra lately, which is the only thing saving my grades at the moment- oh joy to the miracle that is Meeks' brain! Plus the random facts he rambles about throughout the day are really interesting (I am now an expert on the history of linguistics in Europe). He's a really good listener, and I can always talk to him about any philosophers or literature I find interesting!

Pitts is always hanging around Meeks, but he's a chill guy, and I love sitting to read with him in the library when the classwork isn't too much. He's always tinkering with something- I don't even know how he makes half the stuff he does.

Knox when he's not blabbering nonsense about the colour of Chris' eyes or something is incredibly kind, although quite cocky (someone needs to keep that ego in check before he does something silly).

Cameron, I'm not really that close to. We are more acquaintances than friends, he can be quite snappy at times, and isn't too pleased by the dps shenanigans, but I don't really have anything against him.

And... Neil. He's been wonderfully thoughtful and kind. Ever since he's welcomed me as his roommate, we've only gotten closer- since we've started the dead poets meetings, he's never forced me to speak and has so much patience in everything. Often, he helps me out with public speaking and things like that, and I know this sounds quite stupid, but it's as if he can read my mind?? Like whenever I feel overwhelmed, he'll hold my hand to ground me, and he knows when I'm not being entirely truthful with a quirk of his eyebrow, and remembers silly stuff I mentioned a week ago. His eyes- he always makes the most intense eye contact, and usually I hate being in scrutinised in such a way, but with him?? Anyway I'm rambling right now- but in all fairness I really don't deserve him. I do hope he gets into the play, he really deserves all the goodness in this world and more.

#they are one of the best things that have happened to me #I finally feel like I belong somewhere #ask blog #dead poets society #dps #dps ask blog #dead poets fandom #dead poets society ask blog #rp blog #dead poets society rp #dps roleplay #dead poets #todd anderson

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theerurishipper · 2 months

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Honestly, I do love Dick as Nightwing and Bruce and Dick's complicated relationship, but sometimes I like the old days when things were sweet and simple you know? When it was just them and Alfred and they all had fun with each other. Like when they blew off boring parties to go on patrol by using Dick's bedtime as an excuse. When Bruce let Dick go off on his own and said he was allowed "a little escapade" and ruffled his hair. When Alfred always brought coffee and "turkey sandwiches with Swiss cheese" to the Batcave while Dick and Bruce happily talked about their nightlife escapades. When Dick would make Bruce laugh regularly.

When they discussed Hamlet while riding in the Batmobile. When Alfred picked Dick up from school and dropped him off on dates and helped him go behind Bruce's back on cases. When Dick and Bruce would play fight with each other. When Dick made Batman's meetings with Gordon "more optimistic." When Bruce was being a helicopter parent and wanting to know why Dick would want to go to a public school. When Dick would sneak off with Clark when Bruce wanted him to stay back to finish his homework, and Clark did it for him before Bruce noticed. When Bruce teased Dick about his failed date, and they talked about it and their love lives. When Bruce apparently told stories about Joker to Dick during rides in the Batmobile. When Dick was actually the one who named the aforementioned Batmobile. When they would banter even in between a serious case. When Dick would cling onto Bruce to annoy him. When Dick was contemplating how alone he felt, and Bruce just showed up to catch him and do a routine on the trapeze with him. When Bruce would call Dick "kiddo." When Dick even called him stuff like "Bruce-ter." When Bruce used to call Dick "chum." I miss those days.

Yeah a lot of these are from Robin: Year One but that's just because it's the one I remember most. But there's a lot of them just having a good time and it doesn't feel like we see a lot of that anymore.

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littlelightfish · 23 days

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The hearts don't mean he is in love with no one. The problem with English is how vague of the word love is in his meaning. It envolves different kinds of caring in one single word. But I'll try to express here what I mean.

He cares, as a person, about everyone. This is a basic level of love that he haves towards everybody. He doesn't want anyone to actually die, that's what I mean. He doesn't necesarily cares about someone, but he loves them enough to not want them to die.

He starts befriending someone and gets to know it. He starts liking things about them and disliking others. He starts loving this people in another way, we'll call it liking. This is more a get-to-know phase he doesn't always like. The less he knows, the less reasons to get attached get attached he has. I think this are the kind of love the hearts show in the image. He has to make sure to keep a balance between how much he loves and how much he let's himself be loved. He doesn't want to have misunderstandings. He is in constant fear of "what if I made them love me more and they care more?"

And then it comes the deeply care that love is in the non-romantic way. This care a (good) parent has for his babies. The love that makes people suffer emotionally in an absolute different way from what it could be a heartbreak or a misunderstanding between friends. If something happens to the loved one, the pain is unbearable. It's one of the worst things rhat can happen. And Chilchuck knows this, he is father of three daughters, and his wife left him. She left, he knows the pain it is to come home and find it empty when there should be someone. He knows the guilt it comes with failing those loved ones. The shame. He doesn't like being this vulnerable. This love makes him suffer like no other does. So he is very very carefull of how much he allows himself to care about someone so he won't get to love like this.

He draws a line between work and private life because his private life envolves love and deep care, and he doesn't want to love nor care like this for people who's job is to constantly risk their lifes. He doesn't want to feel the anguish, he doesn't want to feel the loneliness it will come after the unenviable separation of the party.

He tries his best to not get attached to people. To not let people get attached to him. But he fails. He fails and falls downstairs with a whole drum set.

He can't help but to care about this people. He can't help but to love this people he's been living with the past few weeks in the risking of their lifes. He tells himself he's doing this for money and that he doesn't care, but he does.

Those hearts don't mean anything other than him caring about them. He cares about Senshi. He cares about Marcille. He cares about Laios. About Itsuzumi. About Namari. He cares in a way that hurts. He loves this people. He doesn't want to even imagine a world in where they are gone, or suffering, or in problems. They're his friends, they're something he, unwillingly, accepts as family.

He cares about Falin and Mickbell because he doesn't want them dead. He doesn't feel any anguish toward if they do or not get hurt after they're out of his sight. Sure, he cares, but he can live without thinking about them the rest of his days. It doesn't happen like that with Laios. He can't just simply let Laios go and follow Fallin just after he recover consciousness from a punch in the gut. Was it Mickbell, he would let him if he really didn't wanted. But Laios didn't wanted to sit and wait, and he had to care. He had to verbalize to himself that he cared. He had to let them know, so they would act accordingly. So they won't get themselves killed like idiots.

He doesn't want others to fall in romantic love with him. He doesn't feel romantic love towards anyone either. He isn't the man for this kind of love. He is, in fact, afraid of it. He doesn't want to fall in love, because he's still in love with his wife. She left him because he was negligent. But since when has this become the definitive stop for love? Chilchuck knows his wife is angry at him, and she has all the reason to be so! His husband, the one she loved and cared for, gets himself in dangerous situations, treats his body poorly and almost never is home. She loves him, and it hurts her to love like this, so she leaves. Like this she won't have to look at him get himself mistreated like he does. She would have the pull in her's stomach that tells her that he could be in great danger, that she could become a widow, but she tries to calm it with his daughter's mail to him. He could never. He can't imagine a world in wich they cease to exist. A world without his wife, even if she distanced herself, without his daughters, would be a world worthless of living. He knows this. Because he cares and he loves in such a deep level that he is scared of loving anyone else like this. To become so vulnerable to emotion. This vulnerable to something bad happening.

The fact that he is so afraid of loosing his wife, even after she left him, says a lot. He still cares about her. He is still in love with her. He wants to go back to what it was before, but he can't and he know its his fault. And he respects his wife's distance because he loves her. Now, he doesn't love her in the movie way, he isnt in love like a teenager would to his first girlfriend, he doesn't want to kiss her, or hug her, or be by her side at all moments of the day. He loves her. He cares about her deeply, deeply enough that he doesn't need to be by her side to care, to love. He also respects her. He can survive without her because he knows she's better with his daughter. For sure he wants to hug, kiss and be by the side of this person he loves, it would be ideal, but he can survive without thinking about it too much. It's just like with his daughters. They're all adults that now live far from him. And he is ok with it now. He sends mail and recieves mail, and even if he misses greatly, he can manage not to think about it. Because he knows she is allright. Because he knows he fucked up. He doesn't know where he fuked up, but for his wife to leave him, at least he knows he did. They never talked about it, because they both seem to have a problem in expressing themselves. She fell into a bad mood and then she disappeared. The amount of pain he must have felt it's... let's say it's quite big.

He keeps his guard up. He doesn't want to love deeply anyone. He doesn't want to feel the emptiness, the hurt, that comes after someone so dear leaves. He knows for a fact he'll be leaving this people. He knows that they could die. If he loves, it will hurt in a way nothing else hurts. He will miss. He doesn't like missing people he cares like this. This is why he doesn't want to love. This is why he doesn't want to be loved. This is why those hearts that are almost full are his main source of concern. This is why he makes the effort to keep this feelings at bay, to love only in the friendly way and with extreme caution.

But he can't controll his own love. And he ends up caring more and more about these people. He slowly makes him a part of the dangerous love zone that family means. He is afraid to confuse someone about his feelings towards them, so he still tries to maintain distance with his abusive remarks, but this only works so far. He loves and is loved. And because of this he will suffer.

I... I extended myself a bit I see...

#i dont even know what im talking about anymore #but i hope i made sense #as an aroace i feel the need of being extra cautious about how people think of my relationship with them #because I dont want them to like me romantically #i want friendship #because its so uncomfortablr #not #love #so this Chil here is basically me trying to figure out if saying certain things could be considered flirting or not by the other #i shouldnt care #it isnt my fault if they do fall in love with me #but i would be happier if they didnt #to know someone is in love wirh you #and that you dont love him back #but youre still friends #so youre friends but the other wants to be more than that #and to avoid that i gotta measure every interaction #maybe im a bit paranoid #but it has happened to me to have friends fall in love with me #and i dont want to hurt their feelongs but i definitely dont lovs rhem bacj #because i care abkut them in a friendly way #and i don't want them to suffer because of me. but I dont want to suffer because of them either #its all way to complicated? yes bit thing is that chil here represents me interacting with my friends #but in my case the hearts would be romantic #dungeon meshi #chilchuck #chilchuck tims #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi spoilers #my shit

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