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inkskinned · 9 months

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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

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mayasaura · 1 year

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I don't wanna further hijack that poor poll, but the thing about Harrow's schizophrenia is that it's canon. The author has confirmed it, and shared that it's based on her own experience.

It's a pretty obscure bit of canon, so of course there's no shame in not already knowing, but that's why I'm so obnoxiously persistent about letting people know.

Whatever else is up with Harrow, autism or cptsd or any number of likely headcanons, she is also schizophrenic. I feel like that's too important to be handwaved away as a difference of opinion.

#like of course not everyone knows I'm not the kind of asshole who gets mad about someone not having heard about an unrecorded con panel #not knowing is one thing #erasing or ignoring that aspect of her is something completely different #like yeah she's incredibly relateable in that way #and I know how comforting it can be to project your own dx onto someone and go 'wow shes just like me fr'#but I really feel like doing that re: Harrow's schizophrenia is a huge lost opportunity for growth #and I hate that the takeaway for so many people is 'Harrow is autistic'#and not 'oh cool didn't know autism and schizophrenia had so much overlap in experience'#relate to psychotic people without flinching challenge #anyway. tl;dr:#if you didn't already know then I have the coolest new fun fact about Harrow to share with you!!#if you do already know but have elicted to ignore it then a little bit fuck you actually #but I will ALWAYS assume someone didn't know before assuming they're being a dick #the locked tomb #harrow nonagesimus #harrowhark nonagesimus #harrow the ninth

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fanfic-gremlin-ft-trauma · 7 months

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So we all agree that Sokka has a huge crush on the blue spirit right

#zukka #zuko x sokka #atla #zukka fanart #kind of blue inspired #because that fic was 90% of my personality for a month #I’m experimenting with new art styles every 3-5 business days

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puppyeared · 1 year

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RETURN TO MONKE (PUBERTY EDITION)

MK’s monkey form doesn’t feel right to me so i wanted to break up his transformation into stages. Maybe as he learns to accept that side of himself it becomes part of him, instead of changing between human and monkey randomly (which is probably painful). Love yourself, NOW!!!

@zymstarz im tagging you for FULL MONKE

#ALSO BECAUSE. THAT BOY NEEDS A NOSE #i like the idea of MK constantly flashing between his monkey and human forms as some sort of internal conflict or identity crisis #and he can’t hold his monkey form for very long soo. I’m going to put way too much thought into it and say its some sort of repression #also I made the hair on the sides of his face more attached or growing on the cheeks so it kind of frames it #maybe it’s because his design is so top heavy on his head and that’s why the sideburns feel wrong to me #like it’s fine with Swk and macaque because their hair is more like a tuft. but MKs hair is longer it just feels less balanced shape wise #I also don’t see his tail being very strong right off the bat because it’s. a new limb so the muscle has to be underdeveloped imo #I’m still a firm believer in the face mark XP system though. that is his Minecraft experience bar fight me #ALSO ALSO going back to him flashing between human and monkey. I just like this idea because to complement that idea of identity crisis #like think about it. if he comes to accept this new part of himself he doesn’t have to decide between one or the other I guess? like he #gets used to exploring this part of his identity. also it’s like Pokémon evolution lol #my art #myart #doodles #lego monkie kid #lmk #monkie kid #lmk season 4 spoilers #lmk s4 spoilers #lmk season 4 #lmk s4 #lmk MK #lmk xiaotian #lego monkie kid fanart #lmk fanart

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autisticaradiamegido · 4 months

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thoughts on dave and aradia (<>)?

day 356

BIG fan tbh. in this house we love and respect timerails

truly yall read this log and tell me theyre not cute

#day 356 #year 4 #dave strider #aradia megido #aradave #homestuck #she really saw this kid and was like OH YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH YOUR MORTALITY?? :D #boy do i have some relevant life experience and wisdom to impart on THAT ISSUE SPECIFICALLY #and then she just. very gently and kindly makes the subject more approachable for ghostdave #the pesterlog i linked is literally my FAVORITE aradia moment. to me it is THE character defining moment for god tier aradia #yes she is being kind of ominous and trickstery at first #but it VERY quickly becomes clear shes got genuine concern for this kid she's had very little to do with up until this point #she really wants to connect with him over their shared time aspect stuff #and she really DOES care about how he feels about everything. she wants to help and she wants to put him at ease #because she KNOWS from experience that being dead and having to cope with what that means for you is like VERY UPSETTING AND TRAUMATIC #shes not just like. 'hee hee i think death is great and awesome because im edgy'#shes like 'no dude being dead is scary if you dont have anybody to explain this shit to you. so im going to explain it-'#'-and hopefully by the end of this conversation you will have some new things to feel relief and maybe even joy and excitement about'#'not just in spite of the death thing but BECAUSE of it'#i know shes spooky and has weirdgirl swag and we all love that about her but like #at her core she is a very KIND person. she may occasionally struggle to connect to people through the Death Special Interest Haze #but she WANTS to and when she DOES she is like. a genuinely very warm and comforting presence for her friends #ANYWAY. if andrew hussie or i guess james roach now want to give me an honorary doctorate for my 12+ years of intensive aradia studies #i will be here waiting patiently

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orangerosebush · 2 months

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Artemis will disassemble and clean a fountain pen with the same level of intensity as Butler disassembling and cleaning one of his guns.

#artemis fowl #Artemis will just automatically include the upkeep of Butler's his mother's Juliet's and Holly's fountain pens in the upkeep of his own #Holly and Juliet tend not to use their pens often (which they have because Artemis gifted them pens) so Artemis will help whenever they vis #visit. Then with Butler it is largely due to the man not having the habit of building 'frivolous' rituals of care into his day so Artemis w #will care for the pens as Butler does (at the end of it all) adore the devices #with Angeline I feel Artemis is just so wholly dedicated to that kind of small act of care when it comes to his mother #(thinking of him composing a unique ringtone for her calls)#I think Fowl Sr is more of a ballpoint pen or a pencil fellow and Artemis will sometimes include his father in the hobby by cleaning #and repairing pens in his father's study while the man works (so he will have the experience of being included through the upkeep)#Tim does appreciate when Artemis shows off some of the special/exclusive inks he purchases #he finds the beauty of the ink a much more accessible aspect of the hobby #that diane ackerman quote about crying in a museum while looking at a piece of yellow sulfur and thinking about how lucky we are to live on #a planet of a natural yellow that is so marvelously yellow #Artemis will do ink tests (when you get a new ink and experiment with it on good quality paper) when his father is in the room for this rea #reason

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roman-roy-apologist · 2 months

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yeah ok i get it you don’t think transandrophobia exists but you do realize that it’s still bad to be shitty to transmascs right? you get that right?

#like you don’t get to be transphobic just bc you say ‘well they’re men so men can’t be oppressed’#as if if there is never any intersection of identities that includes being a man #like first think of gay/bi men they experience a different kind of oppression than queer women do and it would be idiotic to argue that #them being men has NOTHING to do with the oppression they face #and then there’s black and brown men who are constantly painted as scary and violent in news and media and are disproportionately killed #by police officers #and you’re telling me that has NOTHING to do with how their identities intersect between being a POC and a man. ok #it makes no sense to me because look #obviously we live under the patriarchy which systematically oppressed women as well as anyone who deviates from #the cisheteronormative white masculine ideals and i’m by no means trying to say that ‘men have it harder’#it just seems a bit ingenuine to argue that UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES CAN A MAN FACE OPPRESSION DUE TO THE INTERSECTION OF ANOTHER #MARGINALIZED IDENTITY #transandrophobia #transgender #transmasc #trans masc #trans man #transphobia

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ink-ghoul · 2 months

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getting hit with the 8pm impulsive thought of becoming a youtuber

#it's so joever for me #you know. I'm the kind of person that suddenly gets hit with the itch of learning a new skill just for the sake of knowledge #and it consumes me until I at least try it once #the world is so vast and beautiful and I must experience it all

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thebigolbee · 6 months

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everytime Marlow shows up on my dash I go absolutely feral, he's gonna be the one to change my mind about ghouls being hot. Sorry but I want to chew on him for a bit, as a treat

Heehee thank you so much!!! So I’m glad I’m turning the tides for you! He's a very biteable guy I totally agree with you. I think ghouls are all so pretty, even when they’re not caked with make-up like Richie lmao. Something about their like... transhuman qualities is very comforting to me.

Also for the drawing I was just thinking about the similarities between Dean and Richie. They both obsess over their revenge/pride quests for 200 years and it makes them crazy. Classic tale of being better off if they just let it go. Dean is more of a slimy pathetic snake tho... Richie is like... a bulldozer? LOL. The true king of sabotage. Dean destroys for greed and Richie destroys for love <3

Being an immortal makes it easy to blow something out of proportion, right? Endless amounts of time to get trapped inside your head. That isolation is more dangerous than the necrosis hm...

#fallout #fallout new vegas #fnv #dead money #dean domino #fallout oc #dick marlow #asks #my art #thank you again for the ask!!#I'm also experimenting more with red as Richie's ghoul color in contrast to his purple human color... I'm kind of liking it

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stagefoureddiediaz · 17 days

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Something something about the alien hand call in 7x05 and Buck being the one being strangled.

Something something about Buck grappling with this new part of himself and coming out to people. Something something about the ‘fear’ of being judged or treated differently having him in a stranglehold because it’s still new to him and he doesn’t have it figured out himself yet.

Something something about being in 2 minds about telling people, about revealing himself - because the alien hand syndrome in this call occurs when the brains two lobes are separated - the connection severed - the brain is split in two

#I don’t know there’s just something about not having control over part of yourself or how people will react to it #something about buck being in two minds about telling people but also wanting to experience the freedom of discovering a new and big part of #who he is #there’s also something about learning a new way of existing #but theres also something about being in the grip of jealousy and not fully in control of your actions or behaviour because you don’t #understand what is going on #(we know this call got shifted from the last ep so the jealousy element is still kind of relevant and I also feel like jealousy is meant to #be a running them for this season)#911 spoilers #911 abc #bi buck #evan 'buck' buckley #evan buckley

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elfsyellowflowerzart · 14 days

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take two of yesterdays little doodle, using the ref this time

#flight rising #flight rising art #flight rising gaoler #gaoler dragon #fr gaoler #hes one of my sonas 👍#yew art #dragons #its not the most splendid drawing because ive been up since pretty early in the morning #but i had fun with it and thats what matters #my passion in life is making dragons way too fluffy #still pretty scribbly but thats ok i draw for fun #im trying to expand my lair rn but im short like 85k (dies)#gotta make that in like 6 days cause i have nests incubating lol #i know eggs dont rot and you can keep them in the nest as long as you want #but i want to see my special babies as soon as i can #i love seeing the new babies its my favorite part of the game tbh #im slooowly figuring out genes and keeping them in my memory #also if anyone wants to be flight rising friends my username is yellowflowerzzz #ive only been on it a few weeks so i dont have much experience at all and im mostly fumbling around doing my daily tasks #but my lair is huge now bc when i was newer a few incredibly kind people sent me a bunch of treasure #which still makes me tear up strangers can be so so so so kind i love the world sometimes

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taffywabbit · 2 months

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i just woke up so i haven't actually watched the pokemon direct thingy yet, but i heard they mentioned they aren't pushing out another console release at all for 2024 and if that's true then frankly THAT news is way more hype than any actual game announcement could ever be. go girl let us wait!! this is genuinely what i've been begging for for years now

like, oh a new Legends game? that's neat i guess. oh wait it's being given literally ANY time to cook and they aren't crunching Game Freak to hell and back in order to pump out a bunch of half-baked annual releases for the first time in ages?? NOW we're fuckin talking. LOVE to see the torturous cycle broken

#buny text #pokemon #granted they may have just delayed their plans simply because nintendo still isn't releasing a new console til pretty late in the year #and they cannot feasibly keep trying to squeeze things down into a format the switch can (barely) handle without losing goodwill #but i'd like to hope that this also proves they don't need to be pumping out 3 console titles and multiple DLCs in such short spans of time #i'd love to see what might happen if the pokemon devs were ever given the kind of long thorough dev cycles that the zelda team gets #like let gamefreak cook for as long as they need and release when they actually feel it's ready. please.#as frustrated as i am with how SV turned out the majority of my frustration was that you can still FEEL the devs' passion in there #but it's massively overshadowed by jank and lack of polish and design decisions that would only ever be made under intense time pressure #the last chunk of that game's story is cool as hell but getting there was such a depressing experience that it's very hard to recommend #these are clearly artists who still have good ideas and interesting experiences to create! give them the time they need to do it properly!

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kanerallels · 30 days

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I know if no one else got me, the Sabezra fandom got me

#listen #maybe this isn't everyone else's experience #but DANG the sabezra girlies are kind and welcoming and encouraging and helpful #when i've posted about my sabezra stuff they've been so welcoming and encouraging #and they're so enthusiastic!#plus listen. i've been posting this fic lately for this other fandom #4 chapters in and i have four comments #(and this is not me complaining. would i like comments? of course! but no judgement if you don't comment)#meanwhile i posted a new chapter of the sabezra aladdin au #like a week ago #and i already have seven comments #ON THE ONE CHAPTER #100+ COMMENTS OVERALL #that's insane to me #though honestly the swr fandom in general is pretty great. but this is a specific shoutout to the sabezra side of the fandom #love you guys #sabezra

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uncanny-tranny · 10 months

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The trans experience of getting lucky with a new primary care provider who doesn't care about your transness or transition so long as you're getting the proper care

Manifesting this for every trans person because I finally felt like a normal human being going to a doctor

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #transphobia #transphobia tw #i have avoided doctors for like... four years now because of how awful they are toward trans people 🤩 (sarcastic star-eyes emoji)#i thought i didn't have anxiety anymore until i made a first appointment with this new primary care provider i have...#...and when they were doing my vitals and got to the blood pressure screen i was shaking (which i normally am tbf)#i will be fair and say i have had more negative experiences with mental health providers though #but since i've avoided doctor-doctors i haven't had the time TO have negative experiences #my dad was actually really kind and asked if my doctor tried being transphobic and i realized... NO! he didn't even try!#my dad's first question was if dr. [redacted] tried to talk me out of testosterone and i was like shit... no he didn't!!#and i felt like a normal person seeing the doctor albeit with a lot of anxiety but i was treated normally :)#it feels SO nice after feeling like a lab rat or like in the movies where a psychiatrist comes out to explain what transsexuality #explain what transsexuality is*

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moonsun2010 · 2 years

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25 June, Jonathan Harker's journal:

"At last I [...] found myself in an old, ruined chapel, which had evidently been used as a graveyard. The roof was broken, and in two places were steps leading to vaults, but the ground had recently been dug over, and the earth placed in great wooden boxes [...]"

#my art #dracula daily #dracula #jonathan harker #finally done!! ive never really done environmental artworks like this before im so proud of this #this scene was stuck in my mind for so long like i really wanted to capture that sense of awe and mystery #inspired heavily by uncharted new devon which is appropriate because jonathans parkour reminded me of it #ngl it was kind of fun to research references for this gothic architecture is gorgeous. recently went to a Notre Dame exhibition #and they had a VR experience of it!! using the same model the assassins creed ppl made!!! it was Extremely Cool... gosh the atmosphere

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smimon · 4 months

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Giant K series #14: you can always count on Jesse 🧡

Okay this episode is a bit different so the text part goes in the beginning! Fair warning that this story is not comedic but very emotional, however with a hopeful conclusion 😊

Change of tone! Today we cry 🤧

#scheduled #giant k series #käärijä #jeskiedes #fanart #my art #FINALLY HERE #been vibrating for over three whole months awaiting the moment I can post this #it is different but still part of the giant k experience #there won't be many more parts like that don't worry #actually the only one i can remember right now also has Jesse as main focus lol #look at me inventing a new kind of jere look. a hybrid jere. jere of the jeres #i can explain #look this comic is heavily metaphoric and it can be interpreted in many ways #and if i could explain clearly what i meant with it i wouldn't have to use a comic form in the first place but i will try to explain anyway #first of all the orange lighting indicates how jesse sees the events. and jesse always sees jere as jere and not as käärijä #it could also be a moment when jere falls out of character for whatever reason #and in a way this could aso be a memory but it's complicated #this jere does not look exactly like any single one of the past jeres #his hair is a clue. notice he has at least three different hairstyles at once. because this is many different jeres at once #the whole sequence of jere's doubt to jesse's reassurance has happened many times and this is many memories remembered at once #jesse was always there and is there again and nothing changed about it. and will always make sure that käärijä can continue with the show #do you get it do you get it

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