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octal-alchemist · 2 months

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Want to go on T but hate needles?

I hesitated to start HRT for a long time because of my paralyzing fear of needles, and the stories I heard about testosterone in pill form. However. I'm now 101 days on testosterone!!

Here's my experience with testosterone gel!! (Spoiler: I highly recommend it.)

___________________________________________

At the start, I was applying one pump of gel to each upper arm and using the back of a spoon to spread and rub the gel in (carefully marked "t spoon" and stored with my testosterone gel). I was advised to only use the unbroken skin of my upper arm, and to carefully wash my hands after applying.

(Most side-effects associated with testosterone gel come from accidentally eating it, because most people rub the gel into their arm using their hands. Gel on hands then transfers to mouth. I try to avoid that by applying with a spoon! I do rinse the spoon and wash my hands anyway to be extra safe.)

After rubbing the gel into my arms w the spoon, I held up my arms and walked around T-posing for like ten minutes so that the gel could dry before I put on a shirt.

Initially I wasn't rubbing it in enough with the spoon, and I would see a white film on my skin after drying. Nowadays I rarely see that. The gel smells strongly of alcohol, similar to hand sanitizer, so that's also unpleasant. I've gotten used to it.

For the first week, (and ONLY the first week), I would see a rash appear on my arms after applying the gel. The rash was sudden and painful, but would disappear after 20 minutes. I also experienced two reynaud's attacks while the gel was drying during that first week. (I often have reynaud's attacks when anxious, and it was winter, so I think that's not the gel's fault.)

After that first week I never rashed again, and there haven't been any more reynaud's attacks during application.

What changes have I seen while using t gel?

Voice: After 4 weeks, my voice was noticeably different. Not so much deep, but sort of? wider? and my voice was cracking a lot. In the last 10 weeks it has been becoming smoother, richer, a bit deeper. I absolutely hated my voice four months ago, but now I get a bit of euphoria everytime I hear myself.

Emotions: From weeks 2 to 8, I experienced frequent fits of anger, irritability, crying, and horniness. Very weird to me because I'm usually levelheaded and have no sex drive. However!! in the last six weeks, even though we raised my dose, ive rarely been angry or horny. I also haven't been getting depressed, and increasingly I feel like I can cope with stress. I haven't cried in about five weeks. I spend most of my time feeling content. Every part of me feels better and healthier.

Muscle: I haven't been working out more than usual (oops), but I can see that my arms are becoming more toned. Won't share the photos because they're goofy but I keep doing the 💪 thing at myself while my t gel is drying.

Periods: I have still continued to menstruate regularly, having 3 periods in the last 101 days. My cycles were already on the long side at 35 days. However, those first two periods on T were painless and incredibly short; I bled for two days the first time and 11 hours the second time, and experienced no cramps, no dizziness, no migraines. (The most recent period was two days long but i did have cramps and a migraine T_T. Doc says it's because I raised my dose right beforehand, and I should stop menstruating entirely soon.)

Hair: I already had a bit of scruff on my neck pre-T, but that was mostly just on one side. I now have thick patches of hair under my chin on both sides and the chin itself is starting to fill in. My longest hairs are 5cm but curl. There are coarse hairs appearing by the edge of my lips. I have also noticed that my leg hair is becoming more coarse, and my right nipple has become a forest. Only my right nipple, for some reason! Very few people in my family are bald, but I was still a little worried so I've been keeping track of hair loss on my scalp; however it has been the same amount as usual. Hair still thick.

Blood test results: My pre-T testosterone level was 56. I was told that 2-70 are normal readings for a cis woman. At my 3 month checkup, my testosterone level was 251!! This is still low for a cis man my age (normal is like 650-800), and I wanted a bit more, so the doctor agreed to increase my dose two weeks ago.

Confidence: I am thrilled to see mirrors lately. My jaw seems more defined with the bit of hair to shadow it; my eyes are happier. I keep flirting with myself, partially to hear my own voice. I talk to my students about transitioning, and although a couple have been a bit transphobic, I've been able to laugh about it. I've gone on a couple dates and actually felt attractive and worthy of attention. I feel alive.

Bottomline -

testosterone gel is working wonders for me. I wish I'd known about this nine years ago, when I first tried to go on HRT. Instead, I injected myself with testosterone twice and took myself to the ER over the panic attack I had 🫠 (I don't miss being 19!)

I'm still a stressy motherfucker, and it feels so much safer and more comfortable to apply medicine externally. I know about the dangers of transference, so I apply the gel with a spoon and wear the same long-sleeved shirt throughout the day, careful not to expose others to the gel.

I have so much farther to go, but it actually feels possible now. Easy, even.

If you want to know anything more about this, please, please ask me!! I have anon on, as well!

#testosterone gel #ftm hrt #hormone therapy #non-binary #nonbinary #idk how to tag but i want people to find this. i want it to help #ftx hrt #transmasc #transgender #ask me anything #101 days on testosterone

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stopthatfool · 7 months

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Concerning getting to know one's fic writer, inquiring minds must know: 8, 16 & 18

Inquiring minds would also like you to choose one question you're hoping someone will ask and answer it! (It always pains me when I desperately want to discuss something, but the prompt is never picked! So, pick that question! :])

Thank youu, I can't wait to learn more about your writing process!! <3

Woodsy!! Thank you so much for the ask (omg i'm so excited to answer these)!!

8. Do you prefer the beginning, middle, or ending of a story?

Hmmmm... I think when it comes to fic writing I like the middle. Because i can just keep adding things and I don't have to worry about tying it all together to actually mean something. And the beginning is very intimidating. It's like the first page of new notebook or sketchbook. And the ending is very scary too, cuz that means it's over!

It's interesting though because whenever I watch movies, TV shows etc., etc., I always like the first movie/episode/season the best!

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

I have kind of a one track mind when it comes to writing, so I'm pretty much only thinking of Your jeep. Your teeth. The coffee that you bought me. and that 'universe' (omfg why did i pick such a long name). BUT! I have been playing around with the idea of telling this story through the perspective of Ice... I would love to get up all inside his head and figure him out!

I've also been thinking about like a 'prequel' to this story. Like what happened in '86 and when 'my' Mav and Ice taught at TOP GUN together. I, of course, have ideas and I have alluded to what their relationship looked like in flashbacks and some of Mav's internal monologue, but I think eventually I would love to actually put it in writing and map it all out.

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with these titles?

I came up with the title of this fanfic during the writing process! And all of the titles are lines from Richard Siken's Crush-- which i had just finished rereading as I was writing the first part of the first chapter. The line "Your jeep. Your teeth. The coffee that you bought me." really stuck out to me as I was thinking about IceMav, because I've always really liked Val Kilmer's teeth (which sounds weird as i type it out.... but it's purely from an artistic standpoint and fascination). So the jeep that Ice has in the fic, along with the coffee scene after Mav is let out from the hospital were really inspired from this line!

As for the chapter titles, I decided to keep going with the Richard Siken theme. Whenever I need a break from writing, typing, or editing, that's when I begin to brainstorm chapter titles. I'll look back at my fav lines that I wrote down, or I'll just straight up reread poems to find something that fits whatever things are happening in that chapter.

Initially, chapter 6's title was "Dear Forgiveness, I saved a plate for you" because of the first scene when Mav holds out a plate for Bradley. It wasn't until guns were brought up for like the third time that I changed the title to "It's a down right shoot-em-up."

Anyway! Long story short, it's just a process of going back and forth and reading poetry!

14. How do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from emotional experience?

(the question i picked myself) I absolutely feel what the characters feel and draw from my personal experiences!! Most of Bradley's expressions of anxiety and sadness is inspired from my own teenage self (which was absolutely traumatic to look back on). Along with Bradley wearing Carole's old bracelet and Nick's old t-shirt!

One of my biggest goals within this story (along with other things), was to make these characters more human and really focus on their struggles-- therefore i write about things i know, aka my own personal experiences. Which can sometimes make things difficult to write, but usually it's okay!

Thank you so much for the ask Woodsy!! This was so much fun!! <333

#stopthatfools obsession with Richard Siken makes another appearance #i just think val kilmer's teeth are neat #they're so straight #and they fit really nice in his face #so cuz i like Ice's teeth so does Mav #maybe i shouldn't be going to art school #maybe i should be a dentist instead #icemav #iceman #maverick #top gun #top gun 1986 #icemav fanfic #your jeep. your teeth. the coffee that you bought me.#writing ask game #stopthatfool writes #stopthatfool goes crazy and explodes

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rennyji · 2 months

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appearances

Once upon a time I had hair. Me with hair and without it? I look radically different. I started losing my hair rapidly, upon realization of something surreal happening, while pursuing my Bachelors in Computer Science degree. Now, me with hair? Like other Asians or Europeans, I had a thing for leather jackets. My mother has good taste and would buy me quality shirts with collars in my high school/college years - that's right my mom bought my shirts! This is while my peers are wearing the freebies from joining a club in college.

So there's me with a leather jacket, my relaxed/fitting jeans, and buttoned up collar shirts exposing my, 80's style: minimal chest hair. Yes, I totally get shaving it all off is the norm! But that was my effortless look. But the cherry on top was my hair. In college, I was the guy who never got IDed at bars or parties, though I lost interest quickly. There's people pissing through the spaces in the floor boards, and bars weren't a place I enjoyed finding someone to walk side by side with. I was frequently met by frat guys, with their party invite professional cards, while walking through my initial engineering campus.

Kids in my old Church, thought I was the coolest guy. I was nobody. Just a guy who studied, while struggling with ADD/focus issues, with the hope of getting a decent job, so that I could start my life. My cousins would call me "the big man on campus" or "Mr. Bollywood." (Hollywood, but with a "B"). They all had these big impressions of me, but I was just a man with hair. Plain and simple.

At the onset of my "mind harassing" situation, I believe I experienced some accelerated male pattern baldness, within the years of 2012-2013. Now I'm not tall, I'm 5"8 or 5"9, I was beginning to get some gains from working out, but I wasn't like some of these East Asians on my campus, who were exceptionally cut. When I had my hair -and I"m a straight guy who enjoyed having bangs on his left and right temples ( because I wanted to look like 1980s "Billie Jean/Beat It": Michael Jackson) - I knew I was me. But when I lost my original look, I lost a part of me. I lost my face/I lost a core part of my identity. I went from being "that" guy and became "this" guy. If nothing else, it was my first experience with an aspect of mortality, or losing something I would never possibly regain, for as long as I live. That's somewhat of a big revelation, for a small thing, in the beginning of your 20's.

Dave Bautista, with his nicely "shaped" beard (and even without it), can pull of the bald look. And Jimmy Fallon has a lush/fluffy of a lions mane - I mean does he condition that/oil that? its clean/natural thickness where if you ruffled your hands through, it wouldn't get messed up/require hair gel...sorry man, or anyone, if I'm weirding you out-your hair is very much noticeable. I'm writing this, while watching Fallon's Friday night episode on March 1, 2024. I may not look horrible, but I'm no Dave Bautista, or The Rock (who pulls off the bald look nicely, compared to his "short hair combed down" look, from when he was wrestling: "Ifff yoouuu smeeellll ... what The Rock is cooking?! ... I think that was Dwayne Johnson's line.)

Now I say these things, not because I'm a narcissist. & Not because I think I'm exceptional. While I occasionally dabble with things like a Nutrafol supplement that just came out, now seen on TV, I've pretty much come to terms with not having my usual head of hair. I've accepted it. No need for sympathetic type comments like "You're still nice or good looking"...in a sense, I stopped caring.

So why do I say this now?

With a little bit of life experience, I come across News 4 like subjects, on Fashion Icon/Interior Designer: Iris Apfel , who passed away, with sentiments like "I'll never be good looking...", so I'll look flamboyant with big glasses and a Victorian big circular dress collar. At first sight, she looked a little scary or like someone who needs to be careful walking the streets. From my quick rush with her picture on the news, I wasn't a fan of her short hair (as I think women look better with chest level hair length, ending in twirls/curls/or just pin straight), but I saw nothing wrong with her face. I felt sad, even if this woman I didn't know/never saw before, had this sentiment. I realize everyone has a perception of themselves, as I did with my semi-long "hair gell-ed" hair. And all this coincides on a day, where I addressed flamboyant styles in the wrong places. On another news channel, I heard a newscaster say people have contradicting/coinciding/conflicting type thoughts. For someone to go through all the mental strain of, and settling on, something that makes them feel good/makes them feel like who they are, on the inside, who am I to make suggestions/corrections/comments?! I mean, in certain places, certain roles, you need to adapt for the sake of tradition/custom/location. That's not about telling you what to do or dominating your life. How you are on a typical day, stays with you, regardless, even when you have to make intermittent disappearances of aspects of you.

Over the years, outside of romantic interests, as I'm a bit of a perfectionist in terms of enhancing aspects of me, I see people for their innocent nuances or what they exhibit-kind of hard to explain what I'm thinking. Like, since my kindergarten days and my first Bollywood movie, I wanted someone that looked similar. But over the years, just from seeing different people, getting to know them, even though I may not have said it, even though I didn't expect it, even though it didn't match my Bollywood vision, I found myself quietly appreciating them, in their nuances.

In all honesty, I don't like saying or writing any of this. I'm not a creeper, but I just quietly witness/observe what goes on around me. When I give a viewpoint, there's always the risk, there's an individual who feels restricted or bound to what I'm saying. Ultimately, I say: you be you, I'll be me. If I say something, take it through the filter of your life, or see it through the lens of your own glasses/frames.

In my old/unanswered complaint forms to law enforcement and elsewhere, on my "mind harassing situation," I'd always say, regarding the things I mention, "these are my observations, not my botherations." I'm just going to/fro, where I ultimately return home to get away from it all (which hasn't been happening for more than a decade and frankly, for my personality: it's exhausting). I have no intention on burdening others by being overbearing, overreaching, or preachy. While born as a baptized Christian, influencing my views along with several other religions, my ultimate belief is in one, Big "G": God, who cares for me, as a parent for His child, and believes in me, even when I don't believe in myself.

In life, we're not machines. We can't live by rules, but only guidelines. Which is why the Golden Rule is important. From that everything else follows. Interpret what comes your way through those lens, and wake up to your self and surroundings.

One of my tweets on the matter:

Our Roles/Lifestyles/Personas InLife R like Quadrilaterals, which R 4 Sided Figures Like squares/rectangles/trapezoid/rhombus -shapes looking Different 2 Our Eyes-or illusions. Truth in them is they All Have 4 sides. Such R different people. We're all People, Of Varying Shades Which Is Y Golden Rule is Important. Another tweet in relation:

People R like analog signals. They don’t have fixedStates likeDigital 1’s & 0’s which are really electrical charges or the lack Of them. People are of all colors/shades of the spectrum, which makes them complicated, vague 2 understand, and not 2B judged 1 way or the other. Nothing is this or that.

I'm a programmer by trade. And in programming, we have something called if/else statements that tell a program or the computer, what to do for various situations (what's called: "conditions.")

It looks something like this:

if () { } else if () { } else if () { } . . . else { } We're not one thing or the other. Sometimes our beliefs and actions lie somewhere between the initial "if" clause above, and "else if ()", which is basically saying: "if this," "then that," "otherwise do that." With all the talk on meat on the news, an example would be: "if I'm hungry, I'll eat red meat" else "I'll eat white meat" What if you decide to eat a kabab with beef, chicken, and shrimp? Is shrimp even red meat or white meat? Isn't that seafood? This kind of setting throws off the if/else logic or you end up restricting yourself to a box with one or the other type rules. You need to be flexible and open minded. Look respectful, be respectful, but ultimately project your identity, while mindful of your situation and setting. No need to put yourself down or feel guilty. Respect yourself/others.

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maplecornia · 3 years

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chapter 9

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 2.61K

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?

𝔞/𝔫: this chapter makes me laugh, especially the scene with Jojo and Namjoon.

tags:@kookaine |@fangirl125reader |@kookiebbyxx |@taradevonne

You’ve been waiting for an hour.

Tilting your head back, you sigh, extremely bored.

You've tried everything you could think of to bypass the time. Reading, writing, watching YouTube, then switching over to Netflix, even attempting to doze in the slightly uncomfortable waiting room chair.

None of them have worked.

Currently, you're doodling in your sketchbook, but no concrete idea comes to mind for the sketch. Leaving you with tiny flowers, faces, and body parts on the page as though it were a practice sheet.

Peering over the sketchbook, you scan the room for any sign of life, but as the day has dragged on, so has the crowd.

You don't see any sign of Kim Namjoon anywhere, and the receptionist hasn't called you over ever since you turned in the forms she gave you. Uninterested, your eyes glazing over, you pull out your phone, peering at the time.

12:30 pm.

Heaving a sigh, you tilt your head back, the music playing through your GalaxyBuds. Yet it does no good to lift your spirits.

You suppose it's only fair, you made him wait, now it's his turn.

Setting your phone down once more, you purse your lips, as your gaze falls on a flower swaying in the wind outside.

It's the only flower you can see amongst the bush. It stands almost forlornly in the midst of multiple of its fellow brethren withered around it. Still, it stands strong, unwilling to fall victim to the harsh weather outside.

A thought crossing your mind, you turn to your sketchbook, quickly turning the page and beginning a vigorous sketch before you lose your idea.

Unbeknownst to you, as you progress halfway through the sketch, Kim Namjoon bursts into the lobby, looking out of breath and flustered.

He wears a bright white T-shirt, one with a small black Nike emblem across his left pectoral muscle. It hangs sort of loose around his neck, his collarbone visible as cooling sweat causes him to glisten like a bright star.

It's not as noticeable, considering that he wears a thick black sweatshirt zipped down around his shoulders. It's simple, with thin white stripes running down the sleeves and white soft underlining to it.

The black sweats he wears seem to fit with the outfit, the same white stripes running down each pant leg. Each piece of clothing has a Nike emblem on it and pairs well with the white Nike AirForces he wears on his feet.

They’re simple but rich clothes and bring to mind the same clothes Jungkook was wearing before.

The cooling sweat on his skin and the way his hair falls a bit messily underneath his cap could lead to the presumption that they were doing a major dance practice before all of this.

No matter the case, he didn't expect the meeting to take this long, and he feels terrible for making you wait, despite everything. As he looks for any sign of you, he doesn't find any.

Worried that you have already left, he knocks on the front desk, gathering the attention of the receptionist that helped you earlier. Kim Jojo raises her head, and as she catches sight of RM, her eyes widen just the slightest bit, but not enough for him to notice.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Namjoon, what can I--”

“Yes, yes hello.” Namjoon interrupts her, too panicked to care about formalities.

He wants to catch you before you get tired of waiting and leave. First impressions are everything to him, and if he has a bad one…Shaking the worry away, he leans forward over the counter separating the receptionist from him and she flinches away at the sudden closeness.

RM either doesn't notice or doesn't care, but either way, he meets her with an intent stare, every word uttered from his lips urgent and careful.

“Has anyone by the name of Lin Yen come in?” The receptionist opens her mouth to respond but before she can say anything, he holds up a finger.

A thought having crossed his mind, he reaches into his back pocket, bringing out his phone. He tries to bring up the picture of you while Jojo stands there, half in shock, half in annoyance. As soon as he finds it, he lets out a little victory shout, one that startles her.

Grinning, he presents it to her, and she peers at a strange picture of you. After she looks at it, Jojo pulls back, her brows crinkling in confusion.

“She looks like this. If she came in, could you please tell me? I've been waiting since 8:00 this morning to meet her.” Jojo sighs, trying to gain her composure before responding.

“Mr. Namjoon--” she begins, but Namjoon interrupts once more.

“She’s my new assistant, you see, and I need to begin her training today. She needs to know the ropes before our busy season comes back around.” He explains, pulling the phone back and trying to pocket it once more.

Instead, he ends up knocking over a container filled with an assortment of pens and pencils. Surprised, he fumbles to pick it up but ends up spilling it all over the floor. Cursing under his breath, he reaches down to pick up some pencils that have fallen.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, Jojo picks up the container, righting it on the counter with a loud thud. Startled, RM glances up at her eyes wide, and she smiles sweetly.

“Please, just leave it.” She says between her teeth. He shrugs, almost reluctantly standing. She sighs in relief, carefully putting the pens and pencils back in their place.

“Now...Mr. Namjoon, please listen--” once more, she cannot finish, Namjoon unable to shut up to save his life.

“I’m sorry, but if you need any more information on her I could--”

“Kim Namjoon!” This time it's Jojo's turn to interrupt him, her patience finally wearing thin.

RM instantly falls silent, a bit surprised at the outburst.

Jojo takes a steadying breath before continuing.

“Now, the person you are talking about has already come in. I told her you were in a meeting and had her wait in the waiting room for you to return.” At the information, RM turns to the waiting room where he catches sight of you for the first time in real life.

He notices you vigorously sketching out your idea. Smiling, he can't help but smile at the familiarities he finds in you. You look exactly like the picture Jaejin sent, despite how weird it was.

“I had expected to receive a notice of your return, so I could send her to you, but now that you're here….” Namjoon turns away from you and flashes his contagious smile at Jojo who is once more taken aback.

“Thank you,” Namjoon says with gratitude, reaching across the desk and holding her hand as he bows before turning away.

Jojo, watching him go, turns beet red before collapsing behind the desk in exhaustion. Another fellow receptionist cries out with alarm before tending to her in concern.

You, once more, having no awareness of the events happening around you, continue to sketch. Having finished the rough sketch you begin to define every line, detail, and curve. As you work, you bite the inside of your cheek, sometimes licking your lips in your trance of concentration.

When you're lost in your mind of imagination and creativity, nothing from the outside world can distract you.

And yes, that also includes a very tall, very real version of Kim Namjoon striding towards you.

You don't look up as he comes within a few feet in front of you. You don't even notice as he bends to your eye level, trying to catch your attention. It doesn't break your concentration, even as you reach for an eraser, lightly humming to the music playing in your ears. He smiles, almost laughing at your concentration before he covers his mouth, trying to be quiet so that you don't notice he’s there.

Trying to tease you, he carefully (as much as he’s able) sits down next to you. He was planning on pulling out one of your GalaxyBuds and surprising you, but as he catches a glimpse of your work, he’s stopped cold.

It's breathtaking.

You have created an awestruck image of a woman, on her knees. She wails out in agony as she sits amongst a pile of ash, flecks of it falling around her as though there's a fire burning nearby.

However, that’s not what catches Namjoon’s eye.

Amongst the ash, if anyone looks closely, they'll be able to see that there are small, scattered remains of bones hidden.

She sits amongst them, wailing, the look on her face one of pure anguish and sorrow as the ash from the fading bones stains her skin and her dress.

As though she has lost everyone she’s held, dear.

RM can't seem to look away, entranced by the grotesque beauty of the image and the talent of the artist.

He admires the way you set it up, the way you created the girl imperfectly, but still real. Because after all, who in real life is perfect? As he watches your pencil move expertly across the page, he can't help but think that with each stroke, the creation grows more and more lifelike.

As though she were truly crying out in the pain her heart brings. As though she were alive and breathing.

Almost against his wishes, his hand reaches out to touch the paper, if only to make sure that the actual sketch is truly a mere fabrication of pencil and paper.

As his fingers graze the parchment, that is when you snap out of your concentration.

Eyes widening, you jolt up straight, immediately turning to look at your side.

As soon as your eyes meet Namjoon’s, his hand flinches off the paper. He lets out a soft gasp as he flinches away, surprised by your sudden attention.

Just like with Jungkook, you're frozen in place.

Unable to move.

Unable to function.

Unable to speak.

And just like Jungkook, Namjoon is the same way.

But for a different reason.

He was caught in the act, and he doesn't know what to do.

Your eyes hold him in a sort of bind.

For a moment he forgets what he was doing there, he forgets what his purpose is, for a moment he even forgets why you are there.

For a split second, it's just you and him in a pocket in space.

Your eyes holding his, his eyes holding yours.

Kim Namjoon.

The leader of BTS. The first member of the group you have grown to love. Talented, handsome, a practical genius, he is just as mature and intimidating as you expected him to be.

Despite how close the two of you are sitting, he still seems larger than life, and for a moment, you wonder if he’s even real.

He doesn't seem like it after all.

His skin seems too real, too perfect. His hair is too soft, too smooth. His eyes are too warm and too brown.

Almost exactly like the milky chocolate brown you’ve seen so often in so many photos, except for one thing.

As you stare into them, you can see life so clearly alight in them. How they reveal so many emotions at the same time. There are so many that it's almost impossible to read them at all. Serene and peaceful, they are poets' eyes.

So emotional, yet so mysterious and secretive at the same time.

Dreamboat eyes.

“Kim Namjoon?” you whisper, almost unsure if it's him or not.

As you do, his face makes that mixed expression between confusion and amusement as he chuckles softly, looking away and breaking the connection. Holding his hand up to his mouth, he nods, clearing his throat, but not saying anything for a moment.

“Yes, that's who I am, and you must be...Lin Yen?” your heart jumps at the fact that he knows your name.

Speechless, all you can do is nod mutely as he utters another adorable chuckle, one that always seems to remind you of Goofy.

“Jaejin didn't tell me you were an artist.” As soon as he says that, you notice that your sketchbook is still open, and showcasing your imperfect, unready sketch.

Panicking, you fumble to get it closed. Blushing, you hug it tightly to your chest, as though it could erase the fact that he just got a sneak peek into your very soul.

“What's wrong? It was good!” RM asks, worried.

Biting your bottom lip in trepidation, you shake your head, hiding your face.

“Don't lie….” you mumble.

You know it wasn't close to being done, and it wasn't nearly as perfect as it could have been. You're quite disappointed in it at the moment. You feel as though it was too rushed due to the many ideas pouring out from your brain at the exact moment.

As you take an ashamed peek at Namjoon, you find him staring at you, a slight smile playing on his lips.

“What's wrong, are you okay?” he asks, tilting his head as though you were a shy child. You smirk, playing along and nodding very slowly before he continues.

“I see. You should know, however, that you are very talented.” At the compliment, you snort in disbelief, shoving the sketchbook and pencils back safely in your satchel.

“Please.” You sigh. “I know I'm no Picasso, and certainly not talented.”

Finished with packing your art supplies, you are reminded of the reason you are here. A blush of shame appearing on your cheeks, you turn to Namjoon, a bit guiltily.

“And I’m also not known as the bird to rise before the worm.” RM seems a bit confused before you stand and bow to him in apology.

“I am so sorry for being late today. You see I….”

Remembering the receptionist's words from before, you decide to keep the reason to yourself.

“....I have nothing to say for myself. I'm sincerely sorry.”

“Please, there’s no need for that,” Namjoon responds, standing himself and tapping you on the shoulder.

At the touch, you stand straight, only to find an extremely tall man standing before you, looking more intimidating than before. Heart beating fast you gulp, stepping back a bit.

Luckily, he doesn't notice your act of distance and just smiles at you before continuing.

“After all, I was late as well, so let's call it even, huh?”

You smirk and nod, thankful that he’s not too angry about it, but it doesn't completely erase your guilt.

“But now that you mention it….” Namjoon starts and intrigued, you glance up to see him back up a bit as well.

Confused, you raise an eyebrow before he holds out his hand to you.

“My name is Kim Namjoon, I’ll be your boss during your time here. First and foremost, welcome to BigHit entertainment, I hope you enjoy your time working here with us.” He introduces himself, warmly.

Catching on, you take his hand, shaking it gently, and trying to ignore the fact that yours is much more like a child's compared to his.

“Hello, Mr. Namjoon! It's a pleasure to finally meet you, my name is Lin Yen and I look forward to working with you!” you respond, returning his grin with one of your own.

After you're finished introducing yourself, he releases your hand and steps back, taking your satchel in his hands and handing it to you.

“Well, Ms. Lin, are you ready to begin?” He asks, and you accept the offer, hiking the satchel on your shoulder before looking up at him in expectation.

“Where do we start?”

𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢: first day at work is finally starting, yall excited? eheheehehe get ready for some namjooon and yen moments to come

chapter 10 here

check the Infinite Stars masterlist for more chapters

check my BTS masterlist for other BTS content

check out my masterlist for other kpop fanfics

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fandom-hoarder · 3 years

Note

listen I have so many questions about Stanford Sam, like this kid who was raised in the wild, barely aware of acceptable social conduct arrives with his 2 ectoplasm stained t-shirts at his dorm and like ????? is he very aware of it at first? or does he think he's hiding it well? and like moving in with Jessica?????? he doesn't know how to water plants and that you have to pay electricity bills ??? Like obviously he's not stupid, we know that!! But there are certain things about ordinary everyday life that are just impossible to pick up when you're raised like that. And this is just surface-level stuff, like I feel overwhelmed just thinking about how many tiny things I do in a day, just normal life stuff that I've always done, that Sam would be like ???? so weirded out by, or maybe creepily fascinated ??? Would he try and copy everyone around him maybe??? and then all the odd things that he'd probably do !!! like just basic marine survival nonsense he's dad probably taught him applied in mundane life situations that would make him stand out and he wouldn't even notice !!! And he thinks he's doing fine, people seem to accept him, but then suddenly someone mentions like... TRL or something and he's like ??? and then Dean picks him up and it all falls to pieces, because it's so EASY and ingrained and he doesn't have to pretend and it puts it into perspective how not okay he was doing at Stanford even when it felt like he was ?? god I'm just rambling, like I barely even have headcanons, I'm just so overwhelmed by all the possibilities of how this would play out !!!!

Holy crap, first I wanna apologize if this has been sitting here awhile. The Ask notification location in settings instead of notifications on the app is so weird and I get them so rarely I don’t think to check. (and the website shows that I have 4 but this one is the only one it’ll show? How does tumblr work? Oh yeah, it doesn’t lol.)

Anyway, I have so many thoughts on this! But they’re not necessarily cohesive?! Like first we all know Sam is super smart. He’s curious. He’s inquisitive. But he’s also sheltered in weird ways. There are things he’s known about the world that most people would never know about, let alone kids his age at any given time; yet the existence of those things--and the understanding that therefore potentially anything could be real--also lends itself to keeping him childlike--he had an “imaginary friend” at age nine and believed in the Easter bunny through age eleven, which is much later than the average probably???

By middle school, he definitely would’ve been feeling the strains of his otherness around his classmates, even if they weren’t constantly moving around, but of course the nomadic lifestyle just makes it even harder.

I think Sam is a very observant person, though. He figured out something was up with their dad and The Truth at age 8! So people watching is Sam’s saving grace for getting along in the mundane world. He definitely learns to mask his otherness by mimicking mundane people.

And I get sidetracked here because then I start thinking about exactly how their childhood went. We know John used Pastor Jim and Bobby as childcare/parenting support to some degree. I don’t think we really know anything about Caleb, maybe I’m forgetting something, but my headcanon is that Caleb functioned as a “fun younger uncle” type to Sam and Dean: cool, responsible in a pinch, but mostly not given childcare responsibilities because of his wilding tendencies. (they learn swears accidentally from Bobby and John, but Caleb TEACHES them.) Sam and Dean didn’t even know about Missouri until s1, so she’s off the caretaker list. They had that babysitter they met up with in uhh... Swap Meat! But largely we assume that Dean had a lot of the caretaking responsibilities; maybe with temporary babysitters in other places the same as Swap Meat.

And lbh you just can’t expect well-rounded, informed child-rearing from a kid only four years older. There’s a reason I associate a lot of weechester flashbacks with Sammy watching TV like in Something Wicked, because literally little siblings are A LOT and sometimes you just want them to sit still and quiet and leave you alone for a bit omg.(wait, give me a minute, I’m imagining little 6 year old Dean on the phone with Bobby because John ran out for food supplies and isn’t back yet and Sammy is still asleep but Dean’s creeped out in the longterm room they’re staying in because he KNOWS about the supernatural already. but then bobby gets on John’s case about it--and instead of never leaving Dean alone with baby Sam again, Dean learns from John’s belt not to call anyone when he’s left alone unless it’s an ACTUAL EMERGENCY. Or maybe, because marine, John doesn’t use his belt; maybe he uses PT instead and every time Dean thinks about calling Bobby for that reason again, his abs ache from the memory of punishment situps, or his arms get suddenly shaky thinking about doing pushups til he just couldn’t anymore.)

I haven’t read all of John’s Journal, and I know it’s not actually canon, but IIRC the bits that I’ve read from the wiki show John and the boys staying with a family friend in Lawrence for a few weeks, MAYBE a few months before John visits Missouri and everything STARTS. I think if he hadn’t picked up and left with them then, the family friends would’ve been contacting CPS because they’re starting to think John’s grief is making him unhinged. (I really want to read the journal tbh--there are bits I’ve seen that make me fantasize even more about boyking!sam storylines... but I’m getting even more off track.)

So we’ve got this weird/interesting dichotomy of kids that are groomed with these hyperspecialiizations, too weird to really fit in with other kids but sheltered from the actual hunter life also--like the fact that there ARE other hunters, like as a THING, not just their dad’s rando friends that, as kids, they may just assume know about the supernatural because their dad told them! (jfc they’re SO PRIMED to be each other’s entire world omg I’m gonna die)

So like, by being quiet and observant (an imaginative kid, by nature and by nurture as John starts to take Dean out more and leave Sam alone with his own thoughts), Sam would pick up a lot of things. But they’re never anywhere long enough for him to fully grasp everything and he would definitely suffer a bit from the Dunning-Kruger effect--not having enough knowledge about a thing, but having just enough that you don’t realize you don’t.

Let’s say Sam observes and picks up some things about normal residential life by being around a few mundane babysitters. The nature of John’s “work” would mean that, even if they were in a more in-home-daycare-like situation, they’d be likely to be the “after hours” kinds of kids that are still there when everyone else is picked up and the babysitter would normally be doing their normal life stuff: changing clothes, cleaning up from the daycare kids, making dinner, etc (sam and dean would definitely help, either out of kindness or duty or because it’s agreed that if they help out John will get a discount on their care costs--don’t mind me, just projecting my childhood onto the winchesters hahh. I’m NOT going to go off on a tangent about Dean already having so much experience caring for babies cuz of Sam. He definitely doesn’t have all the under-4s following him around begging for attention while he burps one of the three babies their babysitter cares for after a bottle. it DEFINITELY didn’t make Sam (age 4, 5, 6 maybe) jealous enough to repress the memory so that over a decade later he would claim that Dean doesn’t even LIKE kids.)

Uhh... what was I talking about? Oh yeah, Sam. Observing normal life. Anyway so maybe after things settle for the day, sometimes a babysitter will sit at the dining table with the weekly bills and their checkbook and do the bills. And Sam kind of loves things like this: it feels like something important; it feels like playing school before he was old enough to go (quick aside here: John totally enrolled Sam in school early, both because that’s the only way his age works with canon timeline and because it would make life easier if Sam was in school just like Dean--more cost-and-time efficient.) And maybe Sam goes and sits at the table and just. Watches.

And then he asks questions. When he’s curious, he doesn’t keep his questions to himself as a child (unless the subject is expressly forbidden: see Dean’s reaction when Sam brings up Mary). But his age would inevitably limit the scope and understanding of those questions. Adults are generally disinclined to fully explain the adult world to children, especially when it comes to finances, and in the 80s and early 90s?? With most of the adults of that time that I knew, those kinds of questions were considered rude and nosey. He might understand that adults have to pay bills; he may even understand something about utilities; but he wouldn’t necessarily understand all the requirements and frequency.

Though their nomadic lifestyle wasn’t stable by any “normal” definition, one thing to be said about mostly living out of motels is that your power is never cut off, or your water, or your heat. There’s always television, usually with cable. And the only form of payment you see going on is dad handing over cash or plastic at the front desk--one and done. My headcanon usually disallows the idea that they would’ve squatted in empty houses when Sam and Dean were kids (John makes plenty of bad decisions but I just don’t see him staying in a place without power or water with CHILDREN. Teenagers? SURE.) They would learn how to clean house and make proper beds even when it wasn’t always necessary with housekeeping available--both because of John’s military parenting style and because John would be most likely to opt out of daily housekeeping to lower the risk of having people ask questions.

So yeah, there are so many little intricacies of the mundane world that Sam wouldn’t be conditioned to even think about. Even the realization that he doesn’t know enough about regular life, as he grows up and longs more and more for that very thing because he’s never had more than a glimpse of it, wouldn’t necessarily be enough.

Would his natural curiosity lead him to ask those questions? He can’t ask John because he already asked Dean and got a dismissive answer because ‘what does any of that matter, Sam? we’ll never have to worry about that shit.’ and if Dean seems borderline offended by the sheer audacity of the questions in the first place, he knows John will be worse.

In the 90s, life skills were still kind of a thing in most U.S. schools. But in a really inconsistent way. Sometimes it was in health class curriculum; sometimes your math class would actually do a short focus on balancing a checkbook and banking if there was a chapter, but a lot of times those parts get skipped. You never use the whole textbook. Sometimes life skills was only in Home Ec, but H.E. was completely elective in my area when I was in middle school (the same exact years Sam would’ve been in middle school) and I’m assuming the same for most of the U.S. Sam may have taken it, or he may have taken something else instead (wood shop or computer class were the alternatives in my area). Maybe the nature of school hopping meant that he HAD to enroll in Home Ec, because resources for the other electives were finite, but somehow always managed to miss the bills and budgeting portion. Maybe he couldn’t even take Home Ec due to class size or resources and they just put him in a study hall for that period. (Maybe they put him in the computer class, where he mostly does book work until he gets a turn on the PC he has to share with his classmate.)

As an observant person, Sam totally would’ve known about TRL, I think. There’s no way at least one group of kids in the halls or lunchroom wasn’t talking about it every day in high school, especially with the advent of Britney Spears and Eminem and Jesse freakin Camp. Maybe he goes to someone’s house to try to hang out or to study and they turn it on and Sam watches raptly because it’s such a strange phenomenon and he hardly ever gets to hear new music, much less watch the videos. But he can’t actually get into it because the fangirls are annoying and his analytical mind won’t let him suspend his disbelief about how the voting works. (Maybe he tries giving it another shot in their motel room sometimes, but Dean vetoes that bubblegum pop shit IMMEDIATELY--no Sam, look, that shit isn’t REAL music; most of them don’t even play instruments. And it’s really not fair because Dean TOTALLY watched MTV’s The Grind in the early 90s for his fix of suggestively gyrating bodies before he figured out how to access porn without getting caught.)

Sam and Dean actually make a LOT of pop culture references, which always fascinates me. I imagine they did a lot of TV watching and VCR/movie renting in the times they weren’t working on a case with/for their dad (projecting again; my dad’s house was a very boring place on his weekends). The nature of Dean’s idolization of John and disinclination to let Sam have his own separate likes means they have a mix of age-appropriate pop culture knowledge and a lot of Boomer-era TV and movie knowledge--Dean more than Sam, maybe when it comes to things like cowboy movies and TV lol.

Anyway, as the realization that he doesn’t really know how anything works crept in, maybe Sam would try to lowkey create situations where he could ask his friends/his friends’ parents those normal life kind of questions. But maybe after his first few tries, he’s become so uncomfortably aware of how weird he is to even need to ask that he stops asking. Maybe he starts to tap into his specialized skills and starts snooping/creeping around their houses to try to glean knowledge. Maybe he scours the library for books on ‘what you need to know for life’--I have the urge now to do a google search on actual titles of books on this subject that may have existed at the time, but I’ve already spent a lot of time on this without going into research spirals. lol Maybe he can’t find exactly the things that are pertinent--still doesn’t fully realize that, though--and in the meantime his cache of esoteric knowledge continues to build.

So he gets to Stanford and he mostly understands how the financing works; enough to get by with enrollment and stuff. He understands that he’ll need to get a job of some sort to make ends meet because he’s there to be normal and normal people don’t pay for everything with scammed credit cards and billiards money; he knows that much. But he doesn’t really know about wages, minimum wage, freaking payroll taxes, etc. (I feel like Dean would’ve had odd jobs as a teen, some legit some under the table, but that the nature of John (and Dean) wanting to keep Sam home and safe would’ve made the subject of Sam working through high school a banned topic. And anyway, much as I’m not a fan of the characterization in Drag Me Away (From You), what Dean said to Sam about the impossibility of getting into college with the way his academic career would look is accurate. So Sam would’ve probably spent most of his free time on academics so he could get the fuck out, rather than trying to get a job.

Maybe having to buy his textbooks would be a surprise? John probably always qualified for Sam and Dean to be on free lunch/free book programs in public school, not to mention the likelihood of the records being at least partially counterfeit. But at the same time, John was probably very hands off with their school enrollment crap once the boys were old enough to handle it themselves, so Sam would at least have an inkling.

Sam would be a weird mix of no-boundaries and too-secretive, and his first attempts at acting normal would be a bit too put-on. He’s got experience acting per 1x16 (oh, maybe he did drama instead of home ec somewhere lol), but acting on stage is so much different to acting in a more personal setting. On stage you have to exaggerate your movements to project all the way to the back. Early-Stanford Sam, I guess, is a bit like Soulless Sam. He knows there’s something off about him compared to the people around him, and he just does his best to pretend he’s the same as them without calling attention to his differences, which ends up coming off robotic. A little Stepford. A little uncanny valley. He learns to bite his tongue every time he’s about to let something normal only to his family roll off it; learns to be even more vague than he used to be, because now he’s around strangers ALL THE TIME.

At some point, Sam has a little-but-big breakdown about a payment he missed or the fact that he had to steal shampoo because he didn’t even have toiletries in his budget and couldn’t even afford a bottle of White Rain or Suave, so since he was stealing anyway he got the special brand he really likes and then feels too awful to even use it and doesn’t wash his hair for a week. Brady takes pity on the cute but hapless puppy-boy who is a physical and academic behemoth but has obviously been living off-grid on some kind of militia commune for the past forever--at first the rumor was that he was Amish on rumspringa but the amount of times Sam has busted out some supremely random survival knowledge in casual conversation changes that rumor quickly--and has no understanding of the world. And by the time he moves off-campus with Jess, Sam has this masking thing down pretty well; he can almost forget he’s not normal sometimes and Jess only knows about his previous helplessness in a cute, anecdotal kind of way.

And then Dean comes and gets him and Sam’s all “you and Dad still doing credit card scams?” and Dean’s like “well hunting doesn’t pay the bills.”

AND SAM’S LIKE, NEITHER DO YOU DEAN! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT BILLS ARE?! BECAUSE I DIDN’T AND IT WOULD’VE BEEN NICE TO KNOW!

#ask #@princessconsuelapark #stanford era #sam winchester #pre-stanford era #sam n dean #john winchester's a+ parenting #long post

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addictofsupernatural · 4 years

Text

OHSHC Rewrite: Episode 1

Starting Today, You Are a Host!

Host Club x reader

Summary: Y/n meets new people and fall into a whole new world.

Warning: mentions of past trauma

Word Count: 4.4k

Episode Masterlist

Nerve wracking. This was very nerve wracking. It was one thing to go to a school full of rich people, but it was another for it to be in a different country. Though you felt nervous, this was a giant step into a new life.

You had highlights dyed in your hair for a while now, but didn't know if the school allowed it, so you hid it up in a beanie with only your bangs peaking out. You also didn't know if they allowed crop tops, which was what you had on right now due to your unattended laundry, so you put a big sweater on to hide that as well.

Everyone stared at you. You expected nothing less, considering you weren't wearing a school uniform. You kept your head low and your mouth shut, though it was starting to bother you to have all those eyes on you for no reason. It's rude to stare.

After school you wanted to find a quiet place to study. All three of the huge libraries were noisy, for some reason, so you ventured into trying to find an empty room. There was a music room that looked uninhabited, so you opened the door.

"Welcome to the Ouran Host Club."

A gush of wind came and you stepped inside to see 6 guys standing there, greeting you.

"Oh." One of the twins said. "It's just a guy."

"Host Club?" You quietly asked. "Um, I'm sorry! I didn't know this place was occupied. Sorry."

You turned and reached for the handle, only for both twins to lean on each of your shoulders.

"You said sorry twice." The said in unison.

"I'll just leave now—"

"You must be the foreign honor student, Mr. Y/l/n."

You looked back at the boy with the glasses giving you a small smile. "I'll ignore the Mr part for now, but how did you know my name?"

The tall blonde one gasped. "You're the exceptional honor student from y/c?!"

"It's quiet interesting seeing a commoner with the audaciousness to come here." The guy with glasses said.

"Commoner?" You repeated, taking in the name.

"You should feel lucky." He continued. It did do injustice for your nerves to hear that, but you tried to not let the innocently rude words effect you.

"So lucky." You sighed.

The blonde man rushed over to you and slung his arm over your shoulder. "I think it's wonderful for a commoner such as yourself to come and study us. It'll set an example for other commoners and you'll be a hero to all of them. Long live the poor!"

"Am I supposed to not find all of this offensive?" You asked as you ducked out of his arm.

That's when a small boy jumped onto you, causing you to instinctively catch him. While in your arms he could feel your hidden breasts against his head, which made him the second person in the room to catch on.

"Wow, y/l/n huh? That's a really weird last name. I like it though, it's interesting. I hope we can be friends from now! "You were honestly confused at to why there was a little boy here, so you gently ruffled his hair and put him down.

"That'd be nice." You sweetly said. "What are you doing here?"

"Huh. Who knew the honor student would be so openly gay?" The blonde man shrugged.

"What?" You asked, though you were ignored again.

"So then, which would you prefer?" He pulled your arm to each of the boys. "Is it the strong, silent type? The loli-shota type? The mischievous devils? The cool type?" He got extremely close and grabbed your chin, whispering, "Or maybe you'd like me."

You jerked yourself back, walking backwards as the twins and the blonde were walking towards you. "Please don't get so close when I don't even know you! I'll leave you all be now—"

You bumped into a table, and a vase fell and shattered as a result. "Now you've done it commoner." Said the twin with the higher voice. "That was a Renaissance vase."

"We were gonna sell that at the auction. The bidding was going to start at 8 million yen." Explained the other.

"8 mi..." Your voice was barely a whisper as you looked at the shattered glass. You then began to internally panic, causing words to just spew out. "Oh my gosh okay okay I am so so sorry I should've expected something like this cause of my luck and it's just like me to be a screw up and–" you let out a deep breath before scrunching up your nose and turning to them. "I need to pay you back."

"With what money?" The twins said.

"Holy crap this is bad." You began shaking your leg. "Okay, what do I do then?"

"Well Tamaki, what do you think we should do?" The glasses guy asked, still giving you a small smile.

"There's an old saying that we should all live by! When in Rome, do as the Romans do."

"I'm in rich territory, does that mean I need to do as the rich people do?" You asked, being unconsciously sarcastic.

He chose to ignore you and go on. "Since you don't have any money, you will have to pay us back with your body!"

"Can you please rephrase that—"

"Starting today, you are the host club's dog boy!"

It all happened so fast, and next thing you knew you were coming back from the store with their grocery items. Was this going to be hell? When you got back, you thought about the club while walking in the halls. It was their job to make women happy. That probably meant you would have to put on a brave smile.

"Hey there, little piglet. Did you get everything on our list?" Tamaki senpai smiled at you.

Brave face. "Yup, everything you asked for sir." You smiled brightly.

His eyes widened, and he zoomed over to you to pull you into a crushing hug. "Aww, you're too adorable!"

"Please let go!"

"Why? I'm not done hugging you yet!"

"I don't..." You looked around for help. "Mori senpai! Help me please!"

He made eye contact with you before swooping in and picking you up. You clung to him out of panic. Why would anyone smother strangers like that?

Mori senpai let out an inaudible gasp. He was now the third person who figured it out. "Uh, Mori senpai," Tamaki said. "Don't you think that was a little much?"

"No." He said, putting you down.

"Thank you." You said sweetly. He nodded and went back.

"Wait, doggo," Tamaki called to you, picking up the grocery bag. "What's this?"

"Just what it looks like. Coffee." You said as you walked over to him. "And I have a name."

"I've never seen coffee like this before." He ignored you again as he sat down on a couch.

"Are those the ones where it already has the beans grounded up for you?" Kaoru asked.

"No, it's instant coffee." You said.

"It's... Instant?" Some girls asked.

"Wait a minute, I've seen this before!" Tamaki widened his eyes. "It's commoner's coffee! They don't have time to make it themselves so they use this and it magically appears."

Someone watching this quietly asked, "Commoners don't have time to ground their own coffee?"

"Why is everybody staring?" You asked before sighing. "Nevermind. If you want I'll go back and buy a more expensive brand. Sorry."

"No no, let's keep it." The whole crowd gasped. "I think I'll try it." Another gasp. "I'm going to drink this coffee!" Everybody began clapping. "Y/l/n~ this coffee won't make itself~"

"I guess that's my cue." You said to yourself.

"Wait, commoner," Hikaru said.

"What's up with that ugly outfit?" Kaoru asked. "Can you not afford a school uniform?"

You giggled. "Do I look someone who can afford a school uniform?" They giggled again. "I'm used to public schools, so I wore a random shirt. I don't know if it fits this school's standards though." The twins heard your giggle, and we're now also figured it out. "I've actually been meaning to ask, is there a rule against dyed hair?"

"Dyed hair? No." Kaoru said.

"Oh good," you sighed. "Cause I have some highlights."

"Then what about your shirt?" Hikaru asked.

"It's a crop."

"A crop?" The twins asked in unison.

"Come to think of it," Kyoya spoke up. "Nobody ever asked you what your first name is."

You took off your beanie and let your hair down. You then took off your sweater and put it on top of your bag in the corner.

"It's y/n. Y/n y/l/n." You then walked over as everybody remained silent. "Thank you Kyoya senpai. Nobody else actually cared about my name. Means a lot." You smiled.

"Of course, now it's time to go make the coffee."

"Yes sir." You made it while everybody else remained silent. Tamaki couldn't take it anymore, and exploded.

"You're a girl?!" He barked.

"Yeah?"

"Why would you hide that?!"

"I wasn't trying to, and you shouldn't treat someone different because of that either way." You then turned to everyone else. "Coffee's done. Time for me to get back to work."

"But–but—"

"Tamaki, we still have guests to entertain." Kyoya reminded. He shook out of it and began flirting again, and you took this as an opportunity to start with your other chores. You began to clean up some plates and tea cups as everybody fussed over the coffee.

"Oh Tamaki, you've taken the joke too far. You have a delicate taste, your pallet can't stomach that crap. It's obvious you're just doing it to please her." You looked over to a very pretty girl, sipping her tea. "Oh, I'm sorry. I was just talking to myself."

"Of course ma'am. Would you care for any more food or drinks?" You quietly asked.

"No, you can leave now." You smiled and nodded, walking away with a bad feeling about that girl.

You were then cleaning up the coffee cups, watching other girls become fascinated with it. As you cleaned up they stopped to look at you. "Oh, you're the commoner honor student right?" One asked.

"Yup. Did you ladies enjoy the coffee?"

"Very much so. It did not taste poorly, and it was surprising to see how quick it was to make."

"Well, us commoners are always in a hurry to keep up with our bills." They giggled, though you didn't realize you were being funny. "Anyways, I'm glad I got to share my poorness with you."

The giggled again. "You're so funny y/n."

"Thank you. It's sweet of you not to call me a dog." You said, grinning afterwards. "And wow I never thought I'd say that."

They giggled again. "Are you enjoying Ouran Academy?"

"Hell yeah, it's awesome! Who knew there can be so many buildings in a building!"

"You have an interesting way of speaking." One laughed out.

"Well I didn't think so until I got to a whole different country. I totally forgot about the whole bowing to people thing when I left y/c. We don't do that there."

"Oh my goodness, really?!"

"Yeah, you have no idea—"

"Y/n, Honey senpai spilled." Hikaru called out. "Come and clean it."

"Oh, I have to go. It was nice talking to you ladies." You then hurried over there.

They then went back to their hosts. "What were you all talking about?" Tamaki asked one girl.

"Not much, just talking." She said. "It was very fun and pleasant."

"I wish we could've talked more." Another girl said.

"She's coming by." The third girl tried to say quietly.

"Y/n, come over here." Tamaki said. As you walked over his eyes ventured down to your opening stomach. "I heard you had quiet the chat with some ladies."

"Yup, I thought it was a very nice little talk." You said, smiling at them.

He grabbed you and crushed you into a hug again. "Your smile is so cute! You need to learn how to be more girly! Now promise me you won't wear any more of those dirty poor boy clothes."

"First of all, personal space please! Second, those clothes are comfy. And crop tops aren't for dirty boys."

"That's debatable." Tamaki murmered and blushed.

"Y'know, we think it looks pretty cute." The twins said against your shoulders.

"See? Hikaru and Kaoru aren't judging me on how I look." You hugged each of them at their side. They then both blushed out of surprise, not that you noticed.

"Don't trust those shady twins! They just want to take advantage of you." He then grabbed you back, nuzzling up against your cheek. "You know what, why don't you two make yourselves useful and grab an appropriate school uniform for my little girl."

"Little girl?" You asked, pushing him back a bit.

"Of course! We're a family after all, and now you're my little girl!"

"That's weird." He then suddenly started sulking in the corner, to which you felt bad about. You went over to him and sat on the floor next to him. "I'm sorry if I made you upset. I'm actually glad that friendship is that important to you. It's not often you still see that, and I'm happy to be a part of it."

His eyes began to shine. "Do you really think so?!"

"Sure!"

"Aww, you're so cute!" He squished your cheeks.

"Uh, boss." Kaoru said.

"The female uniforms were still in the process of being made, so all they had were male uniforms." Hikaru explained.

"Oh, that's actually better for me." You said. "I'm not much for dresses." You then took the outfit and went to the changing room to put it on. You came out without the blazer, the tie being loose, and the top button being undone. "Are you sure I can keep this?"

"Well the tailoring was messed up so they were gonna throw it away." Kaoru explained.

"Oh, perfect." You smiled.

"No, not perfect!" Tamaki popped up in front of you. "WHY WON'T YOU WEAR FEMALE CLOTHING?!"

"Are you trying to say I don't look good in these clothes?" You teased.

"Wha– noo~" His eyes began to tear up. "I never said that!"

"So you were thinking it."

"I WASN'T THINKING THAT AT ALL! Please y/n, I think you're beautiful, I swearr~"

You began giggling. "Senpai, I'm just teasing. I understand that you didn't mean that at all. It's okay."

He gave you puppy dog eyes. "Really?"

"Sure." You said lightheartedly. You wanted to ruffle his hair from how much of a puppy he was acting like.

"Then why would you tease me like that?" More puppy dog eyes.

"If I'm staying the Host Club's dog until I graduate, I might as well have fun while being here." The twins were busy laughing on the ground, while everybody else watch you two. Nobody could make Tamaki like that except for Kyoya.

"She's so funny." A girl mumbled.

You patted Tamaki's shoulders. "Straighten up senpai. You still have an audience waiting."

"She's right you know." Kyoya said. He then happily sighed. "Okay everyone, back to work."

You wheeled around the tea, hearing someone whisper, "She's coming."

You stopped and smiled, furrowing your eyebrows. "What?"

"Nothing, just that you don't react normally to Tamaki. No one has ever made him flustered like that before."

"Not only that." Another girl said. "You just seem so fun. It's like you don't give a care in the world. We're not used to people being so care free, so it's very fun."

"That's very sweet to hear. It's nice that you guys all care about whatever I ramble on about." You poured them all tea. "Maybe I should be a host too. I could tell stories and we could all hang out."

"That'd be very pleasant." One said as the other two nodded.

The red headed girl from earlier laughed. "How sweet of you three to make her feel good about herself. She seems like a person who needs to be praised."

"That was a little harsh Ayanokoji." One of them said.

They all looked at you frowning, but you didn't want them to pity you. You mustered up a smile. "More tea ma'am?"

"No, that'll be all. You can leave." She smiled as she sipped on her tea.

"Of course." You then walked away.

Kyoya heard everything. You passed by him, frowning and looking downward. "You mentioned being a host. It's an interesting notion, in it's own way."

"Don't worry Kyoya senpai, I know my place."

He didn't look back at you, only staring at his notebook. "Your place, huh."

"Would you care for anything?" You asked.

"Just some answers." He continued to write in his book. "What do you consider your 'place'?"

You chuckled. "Not here. I know how lucky I am to be here, and that I shouldn't push it. Especially after breaking something."

"I see. Well, I do like your suggestion of being a host." This gained the attention of Tamaki.

You had your back to him as you cleaned up a table. "I was joking."

"Yes, but most people seem to enjoy hearing you talk. It'll help gain money for your debt."

Tamaki flipped and landed right in front of you. "Why would you do that?! Don't tell me you're not interested in men?!"

"I didn't say I wasn't. I just think that these girls might also have fun by laughing and not just being flustered. Having someone to talk to can be refreshing."

His eyes began to sparkle again. "This could work! Having more females could get you in touch with your feminine side. Starting tomorrow, you are a host!"

The next day you were sitting on a couch with the three other girls you talked to yesterday with you. "So y/n, what was your life like before you came to Japan?"

"Oh, you guys don't really wanna hear about my boring life, do you?" You leaned back on the cushion. "I thought we could talk about you ladies."

"We're actually very intrigued by you. We all want to know more about your life."

"Yeah, it seems like you lived in a whole other world."

You grinned, looking around. "Well, this does feel like another world. It feels like a dream come true."

"Were you poor?" Someone blankly asked.

A few people turned around to listen in. You chuckled. "Yes. For a commoner, I was on the more poor side."

"You mean there's a poorer side?"

You chuckled again. "Yup. Instead of commoners, we like to call ourselves middle class. Or at least in y/c we were. There were those who had not bad jobs with not bad incomes, and there were others who actually struggled maintaining enough money to get by."

People began to stop talking and began listening in. "What were your parents then?"

You kept your smile on your face, but stared out the window. "My dad was a lazy asshole who never worked a day in his life, but I guess he didn't seem that way when my mom met him. My mom was an honest and hard working accountant. She used to say that he was nicer to her, sweeter, and not a lot of people were kind to women where she lived. She told me she thought he could make her happy."

They all listened intensely. Even Kyoya stopped writing, and watched you from his side view. You looked over the the three girls. You weren't used to having people really listening to you, but it did feel surprisingly nice. Like the weight on your chest was being lifted little by little.

"What happened?"

"It wasn't until she was pregnant with me when she realized it was all a lie. And it wasn't until after I was born when he showed her that he loved alcohol. He was angry when he drank, and he always drank. Mom got sick when I was about 6, and by that time being angry turned into being violent."

"Did he ever hurt you or your mom?" You looked her in the eyes, and she gasped, knowing the answer. You didn't answer that question.

"A few months later she passed, and I ran away the same day."

"Where did you go?"

You kept your voice steady and calm. "I was living in the streets. Stole from this liquor store to eat. The woman who owned the shop caught me, but she wasn't mad. She invited me into her apartment, fed me, bought me new clothes. She's good to me."

"Did you keep living with her?"

You nodded. "She called the cops on my dad before putting me into the foster system and becoming my new mother the right way. Took a few months before she could foster me, but she didn't hesitate to fill everything out and put down her name for a daughter."

"What happened after that?"

"I worked at her liquor store, made some friends, found out I was really good at learning things in school. Then I saw that there was an opportunity to go to a prestigious school in Japan. After seeing a lot of injustice in the neighborhood I lived in, I decided that I wanted to be a lawyer. So I studied, learned Japanese, and when I got in Maria sold the liquor store and we moved here."

"Maria?"

"My second mother. The one who adopted me."

"I see. So you came here with her then?"

"Of course. We wouldn't abandon each other." You turned to them and smiled. "It's nice to know when you're wanted."

The three of them were in tears. "That's so sad." One said.

"Oh, no no no, don't be sad girls. It's fine, honestly! I'm happy that I found a new family, and I'm happy for being here. I don't like tears, so please don't cry for me. It makes me sad."

The three of them smothered you with a hug. "WE'LL KEEP SMILING FOR YOU Y/N!"

You giggled. "Thanks girls." You then looked around. "Has everybody been listening in?"

"No!" You heard from the twins. Everybody quickly turned away from you.

"Well that's very embarrassing. Thanks guys." You blushed and looked down. Tamaki pulled you away and gently grabbed your arms.

"Y/n, listen to me. I promise you that we will do our best to make you feel as comfortable as possible." You were going to answer, but you noticed something when you looked out the window. "What's wrong?"

"My stuff..." You frowned. "I'll be right back."

You ran outside to get your things. Your bag was thrown into a lake. As you ran you saw that princess, Ayanokoji. She gave you a side eye, and something told you to stop running.

"Oh, it's you." You didn't look back, and neither did she. "You can charm everybody with your words, but I hope you know that to Tamaki you'll always be a second class citizen."

You said nothing as you kept running. Once you got to the lake you took off your shoes and socks, rolling up your pants and going in to fish out your stuff. What you couldn't find was your wallet. That would be good money gone to waste.

"You've got some nerve running out on me." Tamaki said, watching you. "Hey, why are your items all wet?"

"Oh, it's nothing. I'm just looking for my wallet. You can go back, I'll be there in a bit." You didn't notice him take off his socks and shoes until he got in as well. "What're you doing?"

"Helping you look."

"But you'll get all wet." You felt bad for making him do this.

"A little water never hurt anybody." You stopped what you were doing you watch him. "Besides, people are always telling me I'm dripping with good looks. Oh, I think we got something here." He showed you your wallet, though you just kept staring at him. "Why are you staring at me?" He then smiled. "You're not falling for me~ are you?"

You scoffed and smiled, grabbing your wallet from his hands. "You wish."

"By the way, how did your things end up in the pond?"

"Don't worry about it, let's just go back to the club."

Later that day, to your dismay, Princess Ayanokoji requested you. You politely asked her what she wanted to talk about, and she asked about you digging through the pond.

"I see, that must be terrible. I don't know what I'd have done if my bag got thrown into there." She then chuckled. "And you even got Tamaki to dig through that dirty lake water. Impressive."

"I don't see what's so impressive about it." You shrugged. "I suppose he's just a nice person who'd do that for people."

"You know it's just a little obsession with you. You're new and exciting, but pretty soon Tamaki will lose interest. I mean really, you're just another pretty face."

You frowned, looking into your tea cup. "Jealousy can make a beautiful face very ugly, don't you think?"

She widened her eyes before pushing the table to the ground, causing tea to spill on your lap, and slapped you in the face. "How dare you?! Someone help me, the commoner tried to steal my bracelet! Somebody do something!" The twins said nothing as the dumped water on her. "W...why did you do that?"

Tamaki pulled her up and into his arms. "Ayanokoji, I'm disappointed in you. You were the one you put y/n's bag in the pond, weren't you?"

"You don't know that!" She angrily said. "Do you have any proof that I did?!"

He sighed. "You're a beautiful woman Ayanokoji, but you aren't classy enough to be our guest. If it's one thing I know, it's that y/n isn't that kind of woman."

As she ran away crying, Kyoya handed you a girl's school uniform. "Since you got tea on your uniform. I know you wouldn't prefer a dress, but it's what we have, and it's better than a wet outfit."

"Yeah, thanks senpai."

You went into the changing room, putting on the dress. You were thankful for it being long. You didn't want anybody to the scars. You stared at yourself in the mirror, wondering if you looked okay. You sucked up the doubts and went out.

All the club members turned to look at you. Tamaki stared at you. "Y/n... wearing a... dress?"

"Senpai!" You walked over to Tamaki, taking his hands. "I forgot to say thank you for helping me find my wallet. I thought you were really cool today."

Tamaki's face then began to redden as you smiled.

---

Author's Note: Please comment and let me know if you liked it. I really want to keep this going and make fillers of my own.

AN #2: Also just ask if you want to be tagged in future stuff.

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canon-notcanon-warriorcats · 4 years

Note

Im gonna come to you for this because you're honestly like an idol to me (Im sure you hate to hear that lmao) and I feel like you would understand. You're non-binary right? I can't remember if you spoke about it but you use "they/them" pronouns and Im gonna assume that for the sake of the question. Either way! I've been questioning identifying as something other than cis-gendered. How did you know? And have you told people? What's the difference between relating to and empathizing with a problem

oh my god klsnalksm;lakdns;am i’m so honored thank you, but really i’m no one to idolize i’m an unemployed adult who is stuck in life who makes jokes and shit posts about fictional cats but thank you sidjk;lsz;

sorry this took so long to answer i was too tired and i wanted to think on it for a while so i can answer everything well and be at least hopefully a little organized and my answers/explanations to be legible

also this is getting long so i’m putting the rest of this under the cut wheeeeeeeeeeeeee

Yes! I am (at least partially) non-binary, I’m genderfluid and for me in particular I’m a girl sometimes, both a boy and a girl mixed together, and something in between all at once and at different times depending on who knows what, i’m like when you put soda in a cup and then put all of the different fountain drinks in at varying amounts and you do that each time you go to the restaurant but with different amounts of each soda, but like it’s USUALLY a pepsi base

anyway, it took me a long time to know, or i guess realize that i wasn’t cis because i guess i didn’t know i could? but in hindsight there were a LOT of signs and starting when i was 17 i think i started dipping my toes in different gender identities after i found out about the term “demigirl” and that’s what i kind of stuck with for a while

and then i questioned myself like am i really trans? i’m afab and identify as a demigirl does that really count (yes it does) but anyway after i went to college i was like no i think it’s just because several of my friends were questioning their gender, i’m a girl, and it wasn’t until a couple years ago that i finally FULLY realized “no, my gender is fluid, and i am a girl PLUS somethings between boy and girl and sometimes they all mixed together, sometimes all at once, sometimes individually (though very rarely FULL boy)

some things that i recognize in hindsight were signs (or were just weird foreshadows/coincidences of me being a mix of genders and it’s amusing now) include:

-when i was like 7 or 8 or 9 or something i made an image of what i’d look like as an adult in my head (or just older since in my fantasy i was 13 years old because that was obviously old enough to be a billionaire and own a castle and adopt children and a million animals and be a pokemon master, but i thought of an adult body) and my face was pretty feminine but my body shape was very masculine, flat chest, rectangular body shape, wore men-styled-ish jeans, and thickish arms

-in 7th grade for “some reason” i spent several moments thinking about what would happen if one day i came in as a boy named michael (since that’s kInD oF the “male” or “masculine” version of my name) and if like they’d recognize me or if they’d change my name on the registration or if anyone’d get confused or anything, this was also the year i found out that sex changes were a thing, i think, either 7th grade or 6th grade

-and the big one(s) for like my ENTIRE LIFE, even to this day, i would feel so confused if a girl talked to me like i was another one of the girls, specifically if they would like ask if their shirt tag was poking out and asking me to fix it, or ask if their bra strap could be seen through their shirt, asking me if their hair or clothes looked okay, asking to walk to the bathroom with them, GOING to the girls’ bathroom in general, chaning in the girls’ sometimes even being called a girl entirely, etc. made me feel

weird

like an “i’m not one of you” or “i’m not entirely like you” feeling and i thought that it was just because i’m awkward and shy and anxious that i went into the wrong room and then later oh i’m just gay and then to my realization: “oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh that’s why” and “oh, i was anxious i went into the wrong bathroom/changing room, but i also felt like i shouldn’t be in that room anyway because i’m not just a girl or not entirely a girl”

i also have and had a lot of dreams where like i was either a guy, felt almost genderless entirely, or where i would for some reason go into male bathrooms/changing rooms even though i’m not a guy (entirely or mostly)

also i i realized my favorite shirts were the ones that made my boobs look smaller or less existent, my voice would confuse me, either it being too high or low and make me confused uncomfortable because it “didn’t fit” my gender, and sometimes being called a girl or someone saying i looked like a woman made and makes me uncomfortable, and i guess the most nsfw/graphic part of this is that sometimes i fantasize and/or wish i had like

a mix of genitalia and i wish i could change my breast size and upper body shape to be flatter/more rectangular, but it’s mostly the genitalia thing, the body shape changing parts don’t happen ALL the time and not as much, but still sometimes especially if i see someone’s more masculine body and i’m just like “wow i wish that were me”, though being overweight kind of helps in that because my body shape looks more neutral, if i was thin i might have more problems with that

also, especially lately for some reason i get very irritated or uncomfortable if certain people call me a girl or she/her, very certain people i’m okay with calling me a girl and she/her but to people i don’t know well or aren’t super close to i don’t want to be referred to as she/her i don’t want to be perceived as she/her i want to be referred to as they/them

a lot of people have much more intense feelings and it’s more obvious, but they can often times be a lot more subtle and it’s okay if you don’t have INTENSE feelings of dysphoria, there’s also gender euphoria, which i think i, personally, experience more than dysphoria

i like it when people act or refer to me gender neutrally, i like it when my chest looks flatter, i like it when people use they/them for me, i like it when i feel content about knowing that i’m not cis and that i’m a mix of genders, i like thinking of myself as a gender mutt/mix or whatever, it feels GOOD, euphoric

i guess it’s hard to tell if you’re empathizing or relating, and i can’t tell you which one it is since i don’t know the particulars and i don’t know you, but what i DO know, is like 99% of time, if someone has to ask themselves “am i cis?” or “am i straight?” the answer is “no” because cis or straight people almost never even think about it or question their identity and even if the answer DOES end up being “yes, i am cis” then that’s absolutely perfectly completely valid and fine, you figured out who you are and you were in a mindset and in a safe enough space that you could figure it out for yourself and find out more about yourself

and finally, as for the telling people thing, it depends on the situation, i don’t really talk about it in real life, none of my biological family knows because my parents have shown pretty transphobic and nbphobic tendencies and if i told my brother or his fiancee then they’d start treating it like it’s some special thing and basically do that straight people thing where they like overcompensate being happy for you or supporting you or where they start talking about their other friends who aren’t straight or aren’t cis and famous people or characters that aren’t cis or straight and like i can’t deal with that

all of my friends know though, and i’m open about online and i don’t have any significant other(s) to tell but if/when i get in a relationship and on dating apps i’m explicit that i’m non-binary and genderfluid and basically not cis and before i get in a relationship i plan on talking to them about it and being like “hey if you see me as a cis girl this will not work out” they’ll also have to respect my sexuality of course and see me AS bisexual and demiacearo, not straight if i’m dating a guy and not a lesbian if i’m dating a girl, never date someone who doesn’t respect your gender or identity or doesn’t see you as who you are, or won’t let you have some wiggle room to let you figure out who you are, so that’s an extra piece of advice there for ya

i hope that made enough sense! sorry this was long and i might have blabbered on, but i hope at least some of this helps!

#not warrior cats #Anonymous #gender #sexuality

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simply-sams-things · 5 years

Text

We can try to make it work

Something I thought of a few days ago.

Reader is 13 weeks pregnant in the beginning

Spelling is not the best cuase I'm tired.

Summary:You meet the cast of Bohemian Rhapsody 6 weeks after you found out you were expecting your ex boyfriends baby. He knew but wanted nothing to do with you or the baby. So you put on a brave face and continued your daily life but with a bump. You are a make up artist for big movies and today was your first day on the Bohemian Rhapsody set. You were excited becuase its a Queen biopic which who dosent love Queen!?

****************

You walked into the tralior you parked next to which said Joe Mazzello and Ben Hardy on it because thats were you were told to go. You felt a little sick but you took a bottle of ginger ale in your purse incase you got sick. You walked in to see a man with lite brown hair and a man with blond hair trying to make a conversation but failing.

"Hi I'm Y/N nice to meet you" you started off when you put your purse on the counter with your name on it.

"Hi I'm Ben. Ben Hardy" the blonde one said putting his hand out for you to shake. You shook it.

"Nice to meet you Ben" you said "and you are?" You said looking at the brown haired man.

"Joe. Uh Joe Mazzello" he replied

"Well hi Joe I guess I'm doing your make up today since your in my chair but we can't start till 8 and its 7 so we have an hour" you told him. "Ben I think Ryan will be here in about ten minutes so dont worry you're not being left out"

Ben chuckled and said he was going to go find some food and asked if anyone wanted anything the both of you said no but thanks for offering.

"So Joe where ya from" you started

"New York. You?"

"Oh I'm from ______"

"How long have you been doing makeup if you dont mind me asking"

"Well since I was small but I didnt get into it until I was in high school and after high school I went to beauty school which lead me into the film industry and now I'm here"

"How about you with acting?"

"Oh I've been doing it since I was very young and I played in some big roles but now im playing John Deacon in a Queen biopic which is amazing" he said excitingly

"You were in Jurrasic Park" you realized

"Yes yes I was!" He said laughing which caused you to giggle.

Ryan walked in at that time and said hello and set up his situation and you realised you had to set yours up. Joe watched you and you knew so you simply gave him a smile through the mirrior which cuase him to blush.

You felt it get hot in the tralior suddenly and took your sweater off showing your tiny bump and Joes eyes quickly adverted away from it as soon as he realised he was staring at it.

"Joe its okay to stare at it I dont mind" you told him knowing the look he gave it. It was one everyone gave after they saw it. Mabye it was becuase of no ring on your finger or mabye it was becuase you were only 25. Either way who knows you were used to it.

"Sorry I just umm wasnt expecting a bump"

"Nobody does but it kinda happens when you get pregnant mine just popped out a few days ago" you said with a chuckle.

"Sorry again"

"Dont be Joe its okay I dont mind you looking at it just don't stare at it to long cuase that's a bit weird" another laugh to lighten the mood. Ryan had no idea what was going on and just listened to the strange conversation unfolding in front of him. Ben, thank god, walked in and sat down and greeted Ryan. It was 7:30 so you thought it was a good idea to start Joes look but of course the second wave of nausea washed over you and Joe noticed.

"Y/N you okay?" He asked you.

"Yeah just wait a bit I'll be back in a minute" you grabbed your Ginger ale and walked outside in the still cold morning air. You walked around the trailor and sat on the curb. You were chugging the Ale and didn't notice Joe looking at you.

"Are you okay?" His question scared you and you jumped. "Sorry. Sorry didnt mean to scare you just making sure you're okay." He sat down next to you.

"Yeah no its okay I'm fine Joe go back inside I'll be there in a few minutes just needed air"

"Are you sure it looked like you were going to get sick"

"Just morning sickness thats all but it wont be until a few more weeks till its gone im fine though really" you told the man.

"Okay well I dont want to be rude and leave you so I'll stay here with you until you want to go and do my face"

You laughed. "You dont have to but thanks I'm ready to go back just needed fresh air."

You both walked in and you did your thing while only almost throwing up once. You walked to set together and for the next six weeks you talked about your families and lives and you had enough courage to tell Joe about your situation with the babys father with the rest of the cast one night at dinner.

"Wow thats just a loss for him" he told you.

"What do you mean?" You asked

"He misses out on being in the life of a child and its mom" he said

"Joe are you flirting with your makeup artist?" Rami, the man who plays Freddie Mercury, asked Joe. You had grown close to the rest of the cast quickly and helping them when their personal artist were not around.

"No I'm just saying he lost something a lot of people want to have" Joe said looking any were but your eyes. At the time of the conversation you were 19 weeks.

Gwilym, Brian Mays actor portrayal, noticed the tension and asked you a question you never thought about.

"So Y/N are going to find out the gender?"

"Well I haven't thought about it yet" And the truth was you hadn't then you realised that appointment was in three days. "Crap I have an appointment in a few days"

"Why is that a bad thing?" Lucy asked. Mary Austins look alike.

"No its not but I have nobody to come with" you said with a frown. Everybody looked at you and then Joe and then back to you and then back to Joe.

"What?" Joe asked.

Ben then spoke up.

"How about Joe and I go with you? If thats okay with you of course"

"That would be lovely Joe you listening?" You asked

"Yes I am but that's your thing I dont want to interrupt that moment"

Everyone groaned.

"Joe its alright you and Ben can come with I think it would make it more interesting to be very honest."

Two days later Ben texted the group chat saying he can't go cuase he had a date. But Joe and you knew what he was doing. He pulled a move were three people had plans but the one who invited backs out and leaves the other two too do the thing.

Joe picked you up so you didn't waste gas and energy and he wanted to talk about the whole Ben thing.

"Y/N you look lovely this morning" he said when you opened the door. You were wearing leggings and a black maternity shirt that said 'coming this June' as well as a big jacket.

"Well thank you and you look good as well" you told him. Joe was wearing jeans and a blue shirt and a jacket. Simple outfit for a normal thing he thought.

He opened the car door for you and went to the driver side and started the car and the radio was turned on full blast which Joe had forgotten about and apologized when turning it down.

You were laughing and said its okay multiple times. Joe was embarrassed.

At the appointment you had to get your blood drawn and was going to get called back right before you found out the baby's gender. You hate the thought of your blood getting drawn. It scared you to the point were you wanted to leave.

"Hey its okay but you need to do this I'm right here incase you need me" he told you.

"Can you come back with me please?"

"Of course"

"Y/N Y/L/N" a nurse called "Hi I'm nurse Gina your husband can come with you cuase we will head right to the ultrasound room after the test"

"Oh he's not my husband just a friend" you explained

"Umm okay well he can come back"

"Joe?" You motioned for him to follow

You sat in the chair and set your arm out while Gina put the blue band above your vein. Joe noticed your scared face and put his hand out for you to hold. You grabbed it and he started to distract you.

"So Y/N what do you want the gender to be?"

"Oh I dont know a boy maybe?"

"A boy would be nice you can teach him all your tricks to make people focus like you do on set"

"Yeah" you felt the needle but then it was done and you looked over and saw that she was done. You let go of Joe's hand and said sorry for crushing it.

You were taken back to the room and you got on the table and gave Joe your purse.

"Okay so I'm swole right now so dont judge my mountain" you said with a chuckle

"I would never" he said bashfully. You lifted your shirt and Joe poked it. Making you laugh.

"Okay Y/N this will be what?" Gina asked

"Cold!" Joe and you said at the same time and that caused you all to burst into a fit of giggles. You wondered how Joe knew that.

"Here we go" Gina said and put the cold gel on your belly and then the doppler. She started with the normal stuff like heart and brain and lung growth and she even did the heartbeat. Joe was amazed by that part. And then Gina took a few pictures of the baby.

"Alright are you finding out the Gender today?" She asked

"Yes we are" You replied

"So let me just go and find were the part is cuase your baby is kinda low but thats great right now cause it needs to be head down for delivery" she said while moving the device around your belly.

"Its a.....boy!"

"Really!?" You asked about to cry and then you looked at Joe who had a big smile which cuased you to cry.

"Yep! And he is very healthy so dont worry about that. I'll leave you two be" Gina said cleaning off your belly and leaving. Joe helped you get off the table and gave you a hug and kiss on the head.

"You got your boy"

"I did!" You exclaimed still crying

"Hey why you crying?"

"Oh just becuase in happy and hormonal."

"Lets go get brunch to celebrate there is a nice place down the street"

"Okay!"

A few weeks later it was the week before Christmas and you were going to visit your family at your grandparents cabin in Vermont but you had told them you were bringing your boyfriend. Problem was you didnt have one and that's how you ended up on Joe's front door step scared shitless and wanting to leave but as you were about to leave Joe opened the door.

"Y/N is what are you doing here? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?" He asked pulling you inside.

"Yeah everything's good nothings wrong. you were leaving I should go" you said turning but Joe grabbed your hand.

"No whats going on? My date can wait family is first"

"Date? Joe go its fine it doesn't matter"

"Yes it does Y/N whats up?" He said pushing you to the couch and sitting down next to you.

"Well umm okay so I'm in big trouble with my family" you started "I told my family that I have a boyfriend and that I would bring him for Christmas but you see I dont have one and now I'm going to show up pregnant which they know but I told them that I was still with his father but obviously I'm not cuase he's a dick and is a no-show to anything" you said fast needing to take a breathe.

"I dont understand why you're here though" he told you

"I was going to ask if you wanted to come to my familys cabin and pretend to be my boyfriend but now I feel like an idiot so I should just go" you started to get up but Joe pulled you back down and into his lap.

"Joe I'm going to break you"

"No you won't" he said "I'll do it"

"You dont have to if you dont want to" you said

"I want to plus it would be fun a free cabin trip"

"Joe are you sure?"

"Yes I am Y/N"

"But dont you want to be with your family I'm sure you do Joe"

"To be honest I was actually going to Rami's house so this is an upgrade" he said with a chuckle.

"Okay then 'boyfriend' what are your limits?"

"What do you mean?"

"What can we do and not do, to convince my family we are a copule?"

He told you all the stuff he was willing to do such as holding hands, hugging and even a kiss on the cheek. You agreed and set your boundaries.

Four days later Joe and you took the journey all the way to Stowe, Vermont to your grandparents cabin. He drove but it took awhile cuase you had to pee a lot but it was still fun. You took pictures in every town you came upon and had lunch in a little town outside of Stowe. When you got to the cabin, your parents were already there including the rest of your family.

"Joe they will ask you a bunch of questions and I'm very sorry about that"

"Its okay, hey its okay are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes"

"Okay then lets go 'girlfriend'!" And he hopped out of the car and went to open your door. You walked up saying you would get the bags later. When you got to the door your aunt opend it and grabbed you into a big hug saying you has gotten so big since she saw her last and was kissing your face and hair. Joe was trying not to laugh. She saw Joe and brought him into the hug and said welcome to the family.

"Kathy let those children inside they are freezing!" Your mom said.

Aunt Kathy moved and let Joe and you inside. Your mom and dad knew joe and what he was doing so he was happy to have familiar faces around.

"Joe! Y/N! You made it!" Your dad said.

"Yes we did sir" Joe said

"Hopefully she wasn't to much for you!" Your mom said

"Of course not! He on the other had was a bugger!" He said pointing to your belly and laughing. You held on to his hand the whole time.

"What was my grandson doing that could be so annoying?" You mom joked "have you felt him move yet?"

"No not yet but the doc said this week we should feel him move" you said

"Well come on in you must be tired and hungry"

The rest of the day was spent talking and having many family members asking Joe his whole life story and also touching your bump and waiting to feel any movement, but your boy was stubborn and wouldn't budge.

Joe and your dad brought in the bags and took it to your room. You were in the kitchen with your mom when she asked a question.

"Do you like Joe?"

"As a friend yes" you said low incase anyone was listening

"No as boyfriend materiel silly!"

"I dont know mom, he is my best friend in a way. I feel more connected to him more then i do with others. I like him yes but I'm afraid he wont like me back mom."

"Baby he likes you too I can tell by the way he looks at you and trust me I know that look because your father gives that look to food and you know he loves his food"

"Mom!" You said laughing

"What he does!"

Later that night, after your shower you walked into the bedroom and saw Joe on the bed looking at the t.v. looking for a channel. You decided to climb in next to him and try to fall asleep but it was hard cuase it was cild in the room no matter how many blankets you had on you.

"Are you alright?" Joe asked "You're shaking the bed"

"I'm cold" you said sounding hopeless and that broke Joes heart.

"Well we could uhh...if you want to...cuddle to keep you from dying of frost bite?" He finally manged to get out

"Are you sure?"

"Yes"

And before he knew it you were next to him still shivering but next to him. Your swollen belly touching his stomach and your arms pulled close to you while his arms managed to find their way around you. But he started to get annoyed cause you kept poking his stomach.

"Stop poking me"

"I'm not the baby is poking you...wait you can feel that too!" You said looking up at him

"Wait that's the baby!?" He said looking down at you. His hand then found its way onto your belly trying to feel him kick again. You then guided his hand to the right place and he said 'wow' under his breath and you smiled and put your head on his cjest and kept moving his hand wherever the baby was kicking.

"I like you too you know" he said out loud. Your heart went a million times fast becuase he heared your conversation with your mom, but then it sank cuase he probably was doing it only becuase you were a single mom.

"Joe-"

"No listen I like you in fact I love you becuase you are so strong and are raising this little guy all by yourself and the moment you walked into that trailor a few months ago I was certain you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. When you took that sweater off and I saw this guy for the first time I got sad cuase I thought you were taken but when that dickwad of a ex boyfriend called you saying all those horrible things about you at Gwils birthday party I was enraged becuase how could anybody say that to you or anybody-"

He was stop by you becuase your lips were crashing against each other. He sat up more and sitting you into his lap. You leaned back from the kiss smiling.

"Joe I love you and I have since that first day" you gave him another long and passionate kiss. "You have changed my world in so many ways-" you felt a few tears run down your fave. Joe brushed his thumb over your cheek to wipe them away."-I love you so much"

"I love you to Y/N more then the world combined" he said leaning into another kiss but just then your son felt jealous and kicked you extremely hard Joe felt it and winced a little.

"Ow!" You said putting your forehead on Joe's chest and he started rubbing his hands up and down your back.

"Are you okay love?"

"Yeah just hurt a little he must feel left out I guess" you explained

Joe leaned down aa bit just above your belly and started talking to it.

"Hey little man I know you can hear me so listen up! I like your mom a lot and I was trying to kiss her before you made yourself known which is great becuase your moving but before I kiss your mom I want your permission first okay? Can I kiss your mommy?" He asked and you bursted into a fit of laughter.

"Joe!"

"What?" He asked smugly

"He is kicking like crazy now thanks a lot" you said moving off of him and looking at the clock noticing it was 10:30 at night.

"Well I should take that as a yes" he said before moving back down to cuddle you again.

"Okay mister we should go to bed tomorrow is Christmas eve and I'm tired" you said moving your head on his chest and he wrapped you back into hos embrace.

"Damn it" you whisperd

"What?"

"I have to pee."

The next morning as you got dressed you felt a pair of arms wrap around your shoulders and you leand back and looked up at your lover.

"Hi" you beamed up at him.

"Hi" he said before placing a kiss at your lips.

"Are we the real thing now?"

"I guess" he said before spinning you around to hug you.

"Well, boyfriend I'm happy becuase after last night I wanted to eat some sour patch kids and well since you get the honor of being with me this means you get to go to the store and get sour patch kids for me" you squealed patting his chest before looking for your bra and shirt for the day.

"Wait thats no fair I want some too!" He said looking at you looking through the drawrs trying to figure out were you placed your bras.

"Middle one honey" he told you

"How do you know that?"

"I watched you unpack yesterday and then you told me to remind you that you put them in there" he said after pulling his shirt over his head.

"Well I'm going to come to the store with you so i can get my candy as well"

You walked down stairs hand in hand and saw your mom cooking breakfast you then wanted to instantly help but she asked for Joe and told you to find your father. You gave Joe a look but he waved you off and you wandered around looking for your dad.

"Joe I heard you and Y/N talking last night and I couldn't be happier but I want you to know if you hurt my baby and grandbaby in anyway no one will find your body" she told him "understand?"

"Yes Ma'am" he said "I love both of them alot in fact with all my heart and soul. She has changed me and that baby boy has changed me as well. I love them to the moon and back and I could never hurt them."

"Good because they are my world Joe and you are now because you're in our family now! Now help me with this food or your girlfriend will be angry and she is a mean angry hungry person like a very mean one!" She told him pulling him into a hug. She noticed that you and your dad were listening the whole time.

"Ease-droppers!" She exclaimed letting go of Joe who turned around to see you and your dad standing there smiling.

"Mom stop threatening my love" you said going up to give Joe a hug and grab some bacon.

"I will as soon as you stop stealing the food!" She said playfully slapping your hand and you retreated it with two pieces of the bacon and handding one to Joe before walking out to the living room. Your sister was there talking to her husband and watching their three kids play. You had two nephews and a niece. The twins, Gabe and Quinn, we're 6 and Katy was 4. They adored you and when they saw you they all fought about who was going to sit next to you and on your lap.

"Hey kiddos I love you and all but nobody is sitting on my lap" you told them.

"But auntie why!?" Katy asked.

"Well your baby cousin is making it hard for anyone to sit on my lap even doggies can't sit on my lap anymore!" The three gasped.

Then Quinn got down close to your stomach and started talking.

"Hi baby cousin it's your biggest cousin Qinn I want to ask you a favor! Can you move back so I can sit on auntie's lap because I want to and I haven't in a long time love you baby cousin!" Every one in the room chuckled and you sister asked you and Joe a question about the baby.

"Have you guys got a name for him yet? because I have a few!" You looked at Joe who shrugged.

"No we haven't actually but I have thought of a few" you said looking back at her.

"Really? What are they?" Your brother-in-law asked.

"Umm well I liked the name Landon, I thought it was cute. I want a unique name cause I can tell he is going to be an interesting baby already. I also like the name Ashton" Joe watched you and listened with a passion.

"What about you Joe? Do you have any names" your sister asked Joe didn't want to admit but he thought of names for his own children in the future so he just said those ones.

"I like the name Sutton. It's a gender neutral name I've always liked." Your heart melted that was the name but you would tell that Joe later.

"Those are nice names!" Gabe said.

"Yes auntie they are but the name Katy is the best!" Katy said

"Of course it is Katy girl!" You smiled "how about we go play in the snow! So we can pass time while we wait for Grandma to finish breakfast!" You suggested

"Yay!!" Everyone said

*******

After your Christmas Eve feast also known as Chinese food, your whole family say in the living room. You were on the couch and Joe was at you legs while Katy sat on your lap. She somehow fit and because you just ate you knew that the baby would start kicking soon and he did Katy looked up at you in awe and squealed. Everyone looked at you both.

"Auntie's baby is kicking me!" She said joyfully

Everyone rushed over and felt him kick and then they sat down.

"Is it wierd?" Gabe asked

"A little but I'm used to it now"

"Alright kids time for bed because santa is coming tonight!" Your sister said

"Can auntie put us to bed?" The three said all at once rubbing their eyes.

"If she wants to" she looked at you

"Of course I will I am happy too but after you guys are out I'm going to bed because I want to know what santa brought me!" You said heading up stairs behind the three.

Once in their room you tucked the twins in their big bed and gave them a kiss on the heads before going over to Katy's bed and tucking her in.

"Can you sing us a song please?" Quinn said very sleepy sounding.

"Okay loves what song Gabe?"

"I don't" he yawnd "know"

"Well how about moon river? I sang that to all three of you when you were baby's"

"Okay" they said

"Moon river wider than a mile

Crossin' in style someday

My dream maker

Heartbreaker

Wherever you're going I'm going the same

Two drifters off to see the world

It's such a crazy world you'll see (What I see, who I become)

What I see, who I become

We're all chasin' after our end

Chasin' after our ends

Life's just around the bend, my friend

Moon river and me"

You ended the song and kissed all of their heads as they fell into a deep slumber dreaming of tomorrow. The baby was going crazy the whole time and as you walked into your room you saw Joe on the bed with a big smile on his face.

"What? Do I have something on my shirt?"

"No"

"Then why are you smiling like an idiot right now?" He laughed and motioned you to sit on the bed and you did.

"I like your voice"

"You heard that!?"

"Oh yeah and it was beautiful and sexy"

"Joe!"

"It was and it adds another reason to love you even more"

"Thank you for that compliment and I guess your not the only one who thinks so because he was going crazy the whole time!" You kissed Joe and he hummed.

"Sutton is a nice name Joe I like it"

"You do?"

"Yes I do it's a beautiful name"

"I wasn't going to mention it to you but I'm glad you like it." He kissed your head as it laid against his shoulder "Do you want it?"

"What no that's your name babe I could never take it"

"I want you to have it" he thought for a second "well him have it" he rubbed his hand over your belly.

"Are you sure because we can name him something else"

"We?"

"Well yeah because we are together I'm sorry it's to soon I shouldn't have said anything"

"No no no I like it the sound of we and that you trust me with this"

"Joey I love you stop being perfect but don't stop please" you said getting up to change into more comfortable sleep clothes which ended being Joe's shirt and some flannel pants.

"Don't stop being sexy please?" He said while you cuddled into him.

"Okay I won't as long as you're enjoying the veiw I won't!"

******* part 2 coming soon

#joe mazzello x reader #joe mazzello #rami malek x reader #rami malek #gwilym lee x reader #gwilym lee #lucy boyton #lucy boynton x reader #ben hardy #ben hardy x reader #x reader #queen x reader #bohemian rhapsody #john deacon x reader #brian may x reader #roger taylor x reader #freddie mercury x reader

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killerqueenjoy · 5 years

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99 Question Tag

okay okay I know i got tagged to do this like a month ago on my main blog by @santonicababy iM SORRY LIN ILY BUT THIS WAS SO DAMN LONG

1) DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED

I sleep in the room where everybodies closets are and they all gotta be closed goddamn do you know how spooky it is to even have one open during the night

2) DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS

my parents do, but alas I don't use them in case they have silicones or sulphates in them because I got a whole lotta curls to protect

3)DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT?

if this refers to the sheet protecting the mattress, then my answer is in because how the fuck would you be able to sleep with that moving around???

4) HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE

NO SORRY IM BORING

5)DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST IT NOTES

heck yeah, but for random shit

6) DO YOU EVER CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM

nee my parents are fancy fuckers who use the coupons on their phone (our local supermarket has a damn app skskksksk)

7) WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES

a bear because its one giant son of a bitch and not millions of tiny motherfuckers and also I've never been stung by a bee and intend to keep it that way because majority of my family seem to be allergic

8) DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES

nope! I have a couple beauty spots on my hands and face but thats kinda it

9) DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES

not really but if I've been told to smile then its 200% dead inside

10) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE

i find many things annoying

11)DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK

only when i go up and down stairs, but i also try to make sure i step with each foot equally (if that makes sense) and i step on only certain colour tiles when im bored

12) HAVE YOU EVER PEED IN THE WOODS

the real question is have i ever been in the woods? both answers are no

13) HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS

refer to question 12

14)ummmm idk what this question is meant to be curse you Lin

15)DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS

nope, the idea weirds me out

16) HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK

none, this week and in general

17) WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED

one person and a long yet smol doggo size

18) WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK

Eddie from the Rocky Horror Picture Show has been stuck in my head for the whole week so yeah i guess that

19)IS IT OKAY FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK

HeLL YEAH DUDE HAVE YOU SEEN RAMI MALEK IN PINK

SKSKSKSKS END MY LIFE

but yeah, anyone can wear anything they want to wear (although a suit made out of meat might not be wise)

20) DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS

dudeeeee scooby doo and tom and jerry are my jam I watch them on the regular (among other things)

21)WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE MOVIE

uhhm idkkkkk I tend to repress bad movies sksksk

22)WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME

idk shove it in the closet ig at least it will be hidden behind my sexuality

23)WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER

I usually only drink before or after but ig water??? cooldrink if I'm in a restaurant

24)WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN

depends on the nug

25)WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD

How dare you assume i only have one favourite

tbh it depends cos i love pizza and pasta and stuff but then i cannot live with my granny's curries ksksmks

26) WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE

borhap, sing street, rhps, the natm movies, the harry potter movies, any mcu movies

27)LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU

ahhahahahahahha bold of you to assume anyone wants to do that

28) WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT

nope but I was a catrobat which is basically my preschools acrobatics team that was actually really terrible

29)WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE

nahh m8

30) WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER

this week for a transactional task at school (It was in Afrikaans and I got a C skskskks)

31)CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL IN A CAR

omg no

32)EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET

not old enough to drive!

33)EVER RAN OUT OF GAS

my parents never have for as long as i can remember

34)WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE KINDA SANDWHICH

cheese because I am actually John Deacon

35)BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST

MUFFINS!!!!

36)WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME

school nights its 11pm otherwise i dont have one lol

37)ARE YOU LAZY

YES BUT MY LAZINESS MAKES ME ANXIOUS OOF

38)WHEN YOU WERE A KID WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN

we dont celebrate that here but i rly want to it seems fun!

39)WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN

Ram, which is really cool because im an Aries, so I'm sheep squared

40)HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK

English, Afrikaans (at a basic highschool level), I could speak very vERY basic isiZulu when I was younger but I'm not sure about now, I know a bit of French and Telugu, and I'm gonna start learning Hindi soon!!

41) DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS

nee

42) WHICH ARE BETTER, LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS

i didn't play much with legos and i have no idea what the second one is rip

43)ARE YOU STUBBORN

to an extent

44)WHO IS BETTER, LENO OR LETTERMAN

I kept reading Leno as Lenin ffs

45)EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS

I watch them occasionally with my granny, but I don't keep up with them very well (Kasamh Se is my shit tho)

46)ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS

no, im afraid of falling in general tho

47) DO YOU SING IN THE CAR

My dad and I bop frequently to Never Gonna Give You Up in the car, and also classic bollywood songs (we have even learnt the choreography for some)

48)DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER

i perform

49) DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR

well theres not exactly much space

50)EVER USED A GUN

nope

51)LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER

not sure

52)DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY

most are but thats why i like them

53) IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL

we don't celebrate because we're not Christian (we still eat a lot and exchange presents tho), but it can get stressful if we have to visit extended family, mostly because my extended family loves to insult everything about me so thats great!

54)EVER EAT A PIEROGI

not i good sir

55) FAVOURITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE

never had one, it doesnt appeal to me

56) OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID

a vet

57)DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS

i am a ghost

58)EVER HAD A DEJA-VU FEELING

not that i remember

59)DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY

yes, I take a multi vitamin, a vitamin D pill because I'm vitamin D deficient, and im not sure if this is a vitamin or not but i take evening primrose oil so that im not outwardly a bitch due to pms

60)DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS

i wear slipper socks, because my doggo got jealous of my doggie slippers and murdered them in cold blood

61)DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE

i have one and rarely use it because i forget it exists

62)WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED

a random shirt and pants, though ive been known to kick pants off (ive been doing that since birth), occasionally i manage to get the matching pj set

63)WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT

ive unfortunately never been to a concert before

64)WALMART TARGET OR KMART

ive never seen any of these stores in my country

65)NIKE OR ADIDAS

i own neither

66) CHEETOS OR FRITOS

neither

67)PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS

Peanuts because thats my doggos name!

68) EVER HEARD OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN

no sorry

69)EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS

i went to a bhangra class for about a year, and we performed for our parents at the end of that year (i was in one of the few groups that didnt have to dance in lehengas thank goodness)

70)IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE

YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING

probably something creative, but I don't mind as long as they're happy with what they're doing and its not harming others!

71)CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE

yep

72)EVER WON A SPELLING BEE

never entered one, having to spell out loud makes me anxious

73)HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY

i think so

74)OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS

nope

75)OWN A RECORD PLAYER

i wish

76)DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE

my granny burns incense while I'm at school because my mom and i both get really sick when its just been lit and the smell is strong. Going to the temple is a damn nightmare because of it

77)EVER BEEN IN LOVE

no, too busy fangirling

78)WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT

oof a long list

Queen, Twenty One Pilots, Waterparks, Frank Iero and the Future Violents (ffs fronk stop changin the name), Panic! at the Disco...to name a few

79)WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW

refer to question 63

80)HOT TEA OR COLD TEA

both

81)TEA OR COFFEE

coffee

82)SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES

sugar cookies

83)CAN YOU SWIM WELL

i wouldn't drown, but im no professional either

84)CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE

im doing it right now

85)ARE YOU PATIENT

86)DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING

I've only ever been to Hindi,Tamil and Telugu weddings and lemme tell you 90% of the time bands flop at those weddings because they can't sing the classics without failing miserably, so DJs are generally better. However, in that case, if a band can perform those songs, then I'd prefer a band ig

87)EVER WON A CONTEST

yep, a couple of reading contests

88)HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY

nope, not planning on it

89)WHICH ARE BETTER, BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES

dont like olives rip

90)CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET

i can knit!

in fact, my friends and i are so cool that we're in our schools knitting club (which besides myself, @grandfunnyemopainter and @imjustabruh , only has 2 other members)

91)BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE

lounge or study/library

92)DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED

i guess, its not on my goal list tho

93)IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED

94)WHO WAS YOUR HIGHSCHOOL CRUSH

currently in highschool, and in love with the borhap cast, sebastian stan, stephanie beatriz and band members (theres more but yeah)

95)DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY

nope, i have only two ways to deal, be a total pushover or a total bitch

96)DO YOU HAVE KIDS

nope

97)DO YOU WANT KIDS

kind of undecided, but i do want more pets

98)WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR

Dark Blue

99)DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW

my dog, shes been ignoring me for about four hours now because I stayed at school for an extra hour (for knitting club!)

@softspaceboibrian @roger-taylor-owns-my-wigg @im-inlovewithmycar do it cowards

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hashtagsmitty · 5 years

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Smitty's Thailand Adventure - Day 7

Goddamn happened again - I spent two hours on this post and my phone deleted it.

In which snakes get tortured, an expatriot hero is honored, a suit is fitted, and axes don't get thrown.

I slept weird again last night - I'm not used to box spring mattresses. I have a Koala foam mattress and April has a futon, so springs poking me in the ass all night is a new experience for me. Plus the air con, it's hot then it's cold, etcetera.

Usual morning routine - the Hitler Youth and White Family Mart for breakfast. I planned my day while I ate - I wanted to visit the snake farm. Technically, the late queen's memorial snake farm. I thought that sounded awesome.

Skytrain to Siam, swapped to the other line. Not much new to say about the skytrain except there's this jingle that one of the ads plays that I will never get out of my head. Also, there's barriers around some but not all of the platforms, and the train stops perfectly such that the doors are between the openings in the barriers. It's pretty special.

Crazy Thai traffic aside, I made it to the snake farm. It looked like something out of the Walking Dead:

It was mostly the rust on the spikes. And the overgrowth. And the barriers in front of the entrance. And the red cross trucks unloading pallets of gear. I did not think I was supposed to be in there, but the sign said this way to snake farm, so in I went.

I found the place fine. Once I got past the zombie movie shit anyway. The farm looked awesome!

It was a big pagoda with open air snake enclosures all over the place. Very tropical, very novel. There was a big old rat in one of the enclosures. I watched him for ages to see if a snake was going to get him, but he was as still as a statue, with only his tiny rat ears twitching.

After the pagoda was an indoor museum - much the same, but with single cages for each snake. With glass. It wasn't quite what I expected from a Thai snake farm - far more like a zoo than a snake farm. Not enough zero-fucks-given Thai dudes with snakes wrapped around them. I looked at the snakes for a while. This guy was my favourite:

He's a Malayan Mangroce Cat-Eye Snake. I think he's gorgeous. I also thing I have a thing for snakes. They're like nature's ropes.

There was maintenance work going on inside - some drilling or digging or something. Lots of noise. I found it unpleasant, and I'm not a creature whose entire experience of the world is through vibrations. I didn't stay long inside, and left straight after.

I'm not 100% certain that I would never get a snake as a pet. I was before the snake farm, but now I'm not sure.

On the way back to Siam, I saw the Jim Thompson store! I had to go inside and pay my respects to a true expatriot hero.

Thompson's business was selling Thai silk, so the entire store was silk scarves and shirts and other stuff. Expensive silk stuff - one shirt was $200. The cheapest thing I saw was a scrunchie for $40. I looked around for a while then left, richer for having experienced the life of a great man. Also richer for not having bought any of that tourist bait.

I went back to Siam and went book shopping. I had almost finished Growth Mindset and needed something else for the plane. I found this awesome bookshop:

It took up the whole floor, it was so big. It had the largest non-fiction section I'd ever seen. I spent an hour walking around looking at stuff. It was great. I love bookshops.

I bought Meditations, by Marcus Aurelius, a stoic philosophy book I've been meaning to read for ages. I also got The King in Yellow, by Robert W. Chambers. Lovecraft listed it as one of his influences, and I love spooky.

The coolest bit was that the clerk wrapped the two books in plastic to keep them safe. I thought that was a really cool idea, and I was impressed by how quickly she wrapped them - like 5 seconds each. I only noticed later that the plastic had the store's logo on it - even better, now I won't forget its name.

I went home via Thai KFC. I wanted to try it before I left. I knew it was a mistake going in. I always know that KFC is a mistake going in, but this was bad. Weak McDonald's style chips, boring chicken "pops". A waste of time, what with bonchon around the corner. I regret it immensely.

I went home and chilled out for a while - it's been a big week. I've walked a good 75km, according to my phone. I finished Growth Mindset and wrote some notes, listened to music, charged my phone, lazy stuff. Josh texted me and I met him at my station. We went back past Siam to a station near the tailor.

We got bonchon chicken for a late lunch/early dinner. It was great - best I've had in Thailand, and way better than the culinary abortion I had for lunch before. I distracted Josh with a game I've been playing :

It's a programming game, which is 100% Josh's thing. He hated it, but couldn't keep his hands off it. It's based on Assembly, a really old programming language. The first one, pretty much. It frustrated him because it wasn't like normal programming, but I thought it was a good challenge in thinking iteratively.

We walked to the tailor from bonchon. I cursed that I was going to be fat for the fitting. Josh could barely move - we got 18 pieces of chicken and he had 12 of them. I was still full from my mistake earlier.

On the way, I told Josh how frustrated I was with Bangkok's footpaths. There are lips and cracks and broken bits of concrete everywhere. Manhole covers that could drop you into a sewer if you're not careful. Just look at this:

That's a tame one. I've lost count of how many of these things I've tripped over. Or on trick edges to the footpath - step down onto the road, expect it to be level, nope there's another step down, don't you look smart. Or, walking down the steps from the skytrain, again, expect it to be level. Nope! It's on a raised platform, enjoy your trip, see you next fall.

Josh told me to not stand on the manholes.

We walked past some massage girls. I finally saw first hand what Josh has been talking about all week - they pretty much screamed at him. "hey handsome man," they'd say, and he'd say "no thank you," and they'd say "come over here sexy," and he'd say "no thanks". It looked uncomfortable for everyone involved.

I don't know if I Iook less approachable, less wealthy, less naive or less desperate, but none of them have reacted to me like that. Maybe it's because he's 6'3".

We got to the tailor. The suit was almost ready :

Looks awesome - the vest turned out exactly how I wanted it to. The tailor is going to courier it to the hotel tomorrow after some last minute changes. I hope.

We walked back to the skytrain, but the foot traffic was terrible. Peak hour in Bangkok is insane compared to Melbourne. We couldn't even get onto the platform last time we tried. So, we sat down at Starbucks and shot the shit for a while. I showed him my notes on Growth Mindset, and we argued about that a while. He talked about how he was going to do some of Bill's contract, then renegotiate. Seemed reasonable.

We headed home around 8 - our earliest night this week, but it's been a big one for both of us. Josh is moving to a new condo tomorrow. The train ride back was bittersweet - it's been a fun holiday. We both said while walking around that there's very few people either of us could hang out with for a full week without going crazy. He's probably coming back to Melbourne next month though, so it's not too bad.

I'm going to miss him when I head back. But I'm not going to miss much else. Bangkok is -

I guess I'll save my thoughts on the city for when I'm safely no longer in it.

I found this set of signs on the street today and it made me laugh:

0 notes

addictofsupernatural · 4 years

Text

OHSHC Rewrite: Episode 2

The Job of a High School Host!

Host Club x reader

Summary: Y/n learns the duties of a host.

Word Count: 4.9k

Episode Masterlist

You've been a host for almost two weeks now. It's been interesting, to say the least. Tamaki and the twins have been trying to get you into a dress since you put on the school uniform, but you cleaned the male uniform and refused all their demands.

Maria got letters from your friends back in y/c, to which she wanted to surprise you by putting them in your bag. You didn't notice them at school, and you didn't notice them when they were sticking out during homeroom.

But Hikaru and Kaoru did. Once the class was over, the three envelopes fell out of your backpack, though you kept walking. They looked at each other and nodded. Hikaru them and went on and they both went on with their day.

After doing your homework you rushed into the club room, only to see very real tropical decorations everywhere. The hosts had luau outfits on as well. "Welcome."

"This is different." You stated as you stepped in, looking around.

"Of course!" Tamaki posed as he talked. "It might be early fall but here at the Host Club we'd like our guests to feel as if they're in a tropical paradise. And plus, our heating system is... perfect!"

You gave him a slight look at his bragging, to which Kyoya smiled a bit. "Do you have a problem with the way we run our club y/n? Remember, you still owe us 8 million yen."

You set your bag down on your spot. "Charming." You said sarcastically, passing by him and giving him a sly smile. "I feel very free to speak my mind, really. So was this tropical island thing your idea?"

"All ideas dealing with the host club events come directly from the king. Although I will admit to casually slipping a Bali pamphlet onto his desk." He kept his smile as he continued writing in his book.

"Of course. Well someone should tell the king that he's really clever." You patted his arm before going and sitting down with your clients. "Good afternoon ladies—"

The twins each blew a whistle and marched over to you. "Hold it right there!" They said in unison. "Who's Julian?!"

You turned over to them, a bit surprised at the mentioning of that name. "What do you mean?"

"Three envelopes fell out of your bag, and one was from a boy named Julian." Kaoru said.

They then got very close to you, asking, "So who's Julian?!"

"An old friend." You shrugged, putting out your hand for the letters. They gave them back to you, but also gained the attention of Tamaki.

"How good of a friend is he?" He zoomed right behind your couch.

You didn't know why Tamaki was so territorial of his friends, but you knew there must be a reason. That didn't mean you couldn't still have fun with him. You fake sighed lovingly. "He's the best."

"Is he... handsome?"

"He has an adorable face. I love it so much!"

"You love it?" You gave you his puppy dog eyes.

"Yup."

"Do you have... feelings... for him?"

"Oh, I'm only totally in love with him."

"WHA~T?!" He then wrapped you in a hug. "But you're my little girl~"

You sighed again. "Yeah. It's too bad you're more his type."

"Huh?"

He blankly stared at you, and you bursted into a fit of giggles. "He's gay, so calm down."

"Oh." He then stood up and cleared his throat. "Well then, that's one less man to worry about. You don't know how many evil boys there are in the world, so you have to be careful."

"Yeah, I should also be careful of weird people who call themselves 'daddy'." An arrow struck through Tamaki as you walked over to the twins. "Thanks for holding onto these for me." Your smile made them blush. "And thank you for not opening them, since you guys are pretty nosey."

"We don't know what you're talking about." They both said as they shrugged.

"But y/n," Kaoru started saying.

"Why don't you open them for us?" Hikaru finished.

You scoffed. "Please guys, I'm working." You then turned to your clients as they sighed, smiling. "I'm sorry girls. What did you want to talk about?"

"Well, we were wondering if you were going to dress up in something tropical."

"Do you all want me to?" You asked, unsure if you wanted to go through with that.

"Yes!" They said happily.

Tamaki then appeared with a smile. "I already made you an outfit y/n. And look, we're a pair! Isn't it cute?"

You frowned. "You know I don't really like skirts."

He then showed you his big watery eyes. "But Kyoya gave you a dress and you accepted it no problem."

"He was doing it to be nice. You're doing this because you want to see me in a dress. That's weird."

He looked like he was going to burst from anger. He then pushed the outfit into your hands. "Just go change!"

You then changed into the shoulderless top with the long skirt, which also accompanied a lot of jewelry. You then went out and tried to discreetly go back to your clients. "Oh my goodness y/n, you're so cute!" One exclaimed.

"Y/N~" Tamaki jumped over to you and crushed you into a hug. "Everybody, look!"

"Let's not please." You whispered. Your face went red as you frustratedly looked to the ground.

"Wow." The twins said, grabbing your arms.

"Who knew y/n," Kaoru said.

"Could be such a girl." Hikaru finished.

"Looks cute." They said, giving you a thumbs up.

"Please stop drawing in more attention." You said quietly.

"Takashi~ look!" Honey dragged you over to them. "Doesn't she look adorable?"

"Yeah."

Tamaki and the twins had evil stars in their eyes as they inched closer to you. You didn't notice the blush on Mori's face when you went to go hide behind him. The three then shouted, "Give her to us!"

Mori shook his head and took your shoulders, guiding you to your couch.

"Thank you senpai." You said quietly. You then put your hands over your face. You peaked at your smiling clients. "Okay, I did this for you guys."

"How do you feel in cosplay?"

"Exhausted!" You put your hands to your side quickly only to begin shaking your arms, hearing the jewelry jingle as you moved. They began to giggle at your innocent and child-like movements. "Jeez, what's with this?"

"Y/n, you forgot your crown!" Tamaki stuck it out towards you as an offering.

You took a deep breath and drank some tea, not looking at him. "If it's worth more than me I'm not wearing it."

He gave you an angrily confused look. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm not putting something ridiculous and way too expensive on my head. I don't even feel comfortable in this. It feels like I'm lowering the value of it by just wearing it." Your tone was a sarcastic one, which caused smiles from around your area. Though it was a joke, you were only half-kidding.

"Excuse me." A girl came up to you and said. "I believe we're supposed to be switching hosts now."

"Oh, you must be my next appointment." You grinned, waving to her childishly even though she was right in front of you. "It's nice to meet you."

She then grabbed your chin and brought your face closer to hers. "I've just decided. You're going to be my new favorite host." This seemed to effect Tamaki.

Once the club finished everything, you walked over to go change until Kyoya stopped you. "Your words with Tamaki seemed to amuse some of the guests, and many of those guests have requested you."

"Cool. I guess my clownery is likable." You chuckled and nodded.

Clownery. What an odd made up word. He thought about what his clients told them about you. You spoke with slang, though it almost as if you didn't realize it. They said that they found it adorable. Your speech being adorable. It was an interesting thought, in its own way.

Once you put back on your uniform, Kyoya instructed you to make Tamaki some instant ramen. You did so and finished cleaning. Once you finished that you sat down and noticed that Tamaki was irritated.

"C'mon boss, quit eating that commoner's ramen and help plan the party." Kaoru said.

"What's up with him?" You asked.

"He's just upset with Lady Kanako choosing you." Kyoya said as he typed away on his laptop. "She's had the illness for a while now though, so I don't know why he's too surprised."

"What disease?"

"The host hopping disease." The twins said.

You giggled, grinning. "So he's jealous that I stole her from him."

"Shut up! I couldn't care less!" Tamaki yelled. "That's it, my patience has run out. It's time you started dressing like a girl!"

"That's really what's bothering you?"

"I just don't get it. How can you be so popular with the ladies when you yourself are a lady?!" He then went into his private chest, digging though it. "Now you listen to daddy. DADDY WANTS YOU TO GO BACK TO THE WAY YOU WERE AND KEEP WEARING SKIRTS!!"

He brought out a huge framed photo of you in a high and tight half pony tail, which contrasted your usually messy pony tail. You were wearing a cropped long sleeved dark gray shirt, with a black skirt and dark panty hose under.

"DON'T GO BLOWING UP MY PHOTOS WITHOUT ASKING ME FIRST!!"

He hung it up on the wall and began crying. Everybody crowded around it.

"The more I look at this photo the more amazed I am." Kaoru said. "How did you go from that to wearing suits?"

Everyone turned to look at you. "I used to have a neighbor who owned a Burlesque lounge. Sometimes she needed someone to cover a waitress shift, and I would do it. This was the most covered up she would allow me to be though."

"I see." Kyoya said. "Those places are known for having women reveal a large amount of skin."

"I wore that stuff cause I had to. I feel more comfortable not showing my legs. I don't care if I dress like a dude sometimes."

"A GIRL SHOULD NEVER ADDRESS HERSELF AS A DUDE!!" Tamaki yelled. "MAMA~!! Y/n's using those dirty boy words again."

"I hate to break up this interesting conversation, but do you have any formal dancing experience?" Hikaru asked.

You turned and smiled nervously. "No, but I don't have to go to parties and stuff, right?"

Tamaki's eyes began to shine. "I absolutely forbid that. You must go to every event hosted by the host club if you want to pay back your debt! If you fail to do so, you'll be demoted back to errand boy" He then got a lot happier. "And that also means you have to wear a dress at the party!"

"No it's cool, I have a formal guy outfit." They all stared at you. "What? I got it when I had to go to a wedding."

"Why won't you wear something like thi~s?" Tamaki said with tears in his eyes.

"Cause it was for a job."

"This is a job!"

"No, this is indentured servitude. There's a difference. Slight, but it's there." You then briefly thought. "Oh, I guess that also means I have to learn the man's part since I'm a host."

Kanako was instructing you what to do, and you were getting the hang of it quickly. "You're quite a fast learner miss y/n."

"And you're quite an exceptional teacher Miss Kanako." Your gaze went to Tamaki, who looked sad. He wanted to teach you, but was too tall to be in the girl role. He glanced over to you, and you smiled and waved. He hesitantly gave you a small smile and waved back. Because of this you weren't paying attention tripped up the both of you. "I'm so sorry Lady Kanako!"

She pulled you closer. "That's quite alright."

"You're very forward." You smiled down at her before rolling to the side and pulling the both of you up. "C'mon, let's get you some tea."

You brought her tea as she happily held onto the cup. "You have a new order for tea sets I see. The handy work looks like it's Genorie."

"You have a keen eye mademoiselle." Kyoya said as he passed by.

"Such a pretty color." She gazed into the tea cup with a smile. "How lovely."

"Woah, you seem to know a lot about tea sets, huh?" You asked. This, unbeknownst to you, gained Tamaki's attention.

"What? Of course not!" She said shakily, blushing. "What ever would give you that idea?!"

Just then someone walked in with a box in hand. "You ordered a new tea set?" He asked Kyoya as he walked over to him.

"Yes we did. Y/n, come over and grab these." Kyoya said.

You nodded and smiled at him as he gave you the box. You opened the lid and looked at the set. "Wow, these are really nice. Are you an expert on things like this?"

Kanako began laughing. "Oh y/n, you're so out of the loop. It can be pardoned though." She turned back with a teasing smile. "After all, he doesn't look like an heir to a first class industry empire."

His facial expression changed as he looked at her. You noticed but decided not to say anything.

"The Susushima family has dealt mainly with table wear." Kyoya explained. "They are, in fact, a first class company."

"I think that's so awesome! You seem to have a lot of passion into what you're going to be doing, which is very admirable." You told him with a small smile.

He turned to you and bashfully smiled. "You think so? I'm honored. Well, see you all next time."

After he left and you walked back to Kanako with the box still in hand. "He's pretty handsome, don't you think?" You asked in your native language.

"Um, pardon?"

"Oh, sorry." You cleared your throat. "I'm asking if you think he's attractive."

She blushed profusely and nervously sipped on her tea. "I don't know! I suppose!"

"I get the feeling you two know each other."

She spat out her tea and began to panic again. "What would ever give you that silly conclusion? I have no idea what you're talking about! Anyways, take care!" She quickly left.

You stood up right before Honey jumped onto your back, almost knocking the box out of your hands. "Y/n-chan~! Guess what? They do know each other! Suzushima-chan is Kasuga-chan's fiance."

"Woah, really?"

"Kyoya," Tamaki said. "What do you know about this?"

He looked in his book. "They were childhood friends. Their parents set up an arranged marriage between them. I didn't find this information of any importance so I disregarded it."

"And what do you know of Suzushima?"

"Toro Suzushima. Outstanding grades, bare social status. Ordinary looking. He's reliable, in case of persuasion to place blame."

"He doesn't have much presence and is faint hearted." The twins said.

"In order words, he's boring." Kyoya closed his book.

"Wow," You said. "Who knew you guys were so cold to other men."

"We don't have any use of him so there's no reason to be nicer in describing him." Kyoya explained.

"Interesting philosophy." You said teasingly. "I can feel the kindness radiating off of you."

"Suzushima is a good boy." Honey said, on top of Mori. "Right?"

"Yeah." Mori replied.

"Alright men! It's time for a plan!" Tamaki announced. "It's our job at the Ouran Host Club to make every woman happy!"

When Tamaki finished explaining his plan, everybody packed up and left, leaving only Kyoya and you. He had just finished on his laptop and was packing up his things. You walked behind him. "Senpai, is it okay if I ask you a question?"

"Is it about what I said earlier?" He didn't turn around.

"Kind of. I mean, if we're talking about the same thing." You kept your voice steady and light.

"Was it what I said about not needing Suzushima?"

"Woah, no. Not at all. I was thinking about how you did a background check on him."

He paused briefly. "I see. What of it?"

Your voice unintentionally shrank. "Did you do one on me?"

"Yes. A few days ago, in fact. You fail to mention your brother when people ask about your history." His voice was so calm and normal. It made you feel very exposed.

"Everything I've said isn't a lie." You managed to say firmly.

"I know that as well. I understand your situation and I respect your reasonings for not talking about him. You've been through quite a lot, and you have a right to privacy."

"Please answer this next question honestly." His silence meant that he was still listening. "Do you think of me any lower or less, I don't know, appealing, now that you know everything about me?" You then nervously chuckled. "Unless it was already that low to begin with."

"I assure you that my views of you are of a hard working person who seems to make many people happy. Not wanting people to know certain things about you and having certain insecurities do not waver what I 'think' of you."

You let out a breath and grinned, hugging him from the back. He widened his eyes, but didn't tense nor pull away.

"Thank you Kyoya senpai. This really means a lot." You then let go of him. "Okay, I need to walk home before it gets dark. See you tomorrow." You then quickly went to the door. "Sorry if that hug was weird for you!" You called out as you left.

His opinions mattered to you. It was an interesting thought, in its own way.

As you were getting ready for the party, Maria came into your room. "Can't you be at least a bit girly?"

"Funny, that's really funny Maria." You turned to face her and sat down. "You're quite the tomboy yourself sometimes."

"I'm serious y/n/n. You should try a little makeup. You'll look nice for all your friends. One of them is bound to fall for you." She said in an offering tone.

You chuckled and shook your head. "They're all just friends. And I shouldn't have to try to impress anybody."

She sighed, going over to your nightstand and opening a drawer. She took out a black box and opened it, revealing the earrings you got back after your father was imprisoned. "At least wear one of your mom's earrings. They all look cute on you."

You looked in the box. She loved to collect them. "I don't know, maybe."

She grabbed your cheeks and smushed them. "Think about it." You grabbed her cheeks and did the same. "I also have something to tell you."

"Good or bad?"

She hesitated before quickly saying, "My sisters are coming for a few days to visit." And then sped walked out of the room.

"What?!" You followed her. "Please tell me Linda's son won't be coming too." She gave you a look, and that was all you needed to know. "Oh my gosh, I'm going to my club. That's gonna be my safe space for now."

"At least you have a safe space. I'll have to deal with Linda 24/7."

You then went back into your room and hesitantly grabbed a pair of earrings, putting them in your pants pocket. "I gotta go. I should start walking now."

She stopped you. "Take off the blazer at least." You took off the blazer with a pout. She then pulled off your messy ponytail. "Do something better with your hair too." You tied up two messy double buns. "There. You look adorable. Go."

You got there and joined all except Tamaki at the second floor in the auditorium. "Welcome, my little lambs," Tamaki said from the third floor. "To a magical night of your lives!"

Kyoya then spoke up. "As always ladies we are here for your enjoyment. Dance to your heart's content. The best dancer will be decided among us hosts and will be crowned queen. As a reward the queen will receive a passionate kiss on the cheek from our king, Tamaki Suoh. Good luck to all you."

They all began cheering, and you snickered over the stupidity of the 'prize'. The twins came over to you and began playing with your buns.

"These are cute." Hikaru said.

"You have a raggedy yet carefree look. The hairstyle compliments you." Kaoru told you. "Hey, have you ever been to a party before?"

"Not formal parties. Only block parties on my street."

"Well, since you're here y/n, you might as well enjoy yourself." Kyoya said. "We have quite the spread of desserts."

You then innocently asked, "Like squishy ice cream?"

"SQUI—"

"—SHY—"

"—ICE CREAM?!"

Tamaki flipped down to your floor and pointed to Kyoya, who was already dialing a number on his phone. "Kyoya! Order some squishy ice cream right away!"

"Two orders of mochi please." He said to his phone. The twins smothered you in a hug as your face burned from embarrassment. You felt like such an idiot foreigner right now.

In the meantime you danced with some girls, being flamboyant and silly when dancing with them. There was one girl who tripped over your shoes and almost fell until you caught her. She wouldn't stop laughing loudly, and it caused you to laugh as well. Others wanted to talk, so you danced regularly with them.

As you took a break from dancing with some girls Kanako approached you. "There you are y/n, I've been looking everywhere for you. May I have this next dance?"

"It would be my pleasure Lady Kanako." You began to dance with her. "You're so formal. It's really fascinating to me."

"Your expressions and slang are fascinating to me as well." She said.

"Kasuga-chan's here!" Honey announced.

"Honey, Mori," Tamaki said. "Commence with the operation."

Both nodded before swiftly grabbing you away and dashing to an empty room with the twins and Kyoya. "Did you guys really have to be so forceful?"

"Nevermind that, go and change." Hikaru shoved a bag into your hands and pushed you into the changing room.

"Remember y/n, we only have 37 minutes before the climax of the night," Kyoya said. "And a little accident might make the evening more interesting."

You saw a tube of concealer on the small table when you went in. You knew Kyoya left it for you, and it made you smile. You quickly changed into the dark purple dress and put concealer on the scars of your legs. You then remembered the earrings in your pocket and put them on. They were rose gold hoops with what looked like flower petals on them.

You then went outside, where the twins quickly put on your makeup. Kaoru then gently touched one of your earrings. "We didn't put these in the bag. Are these yours?"

"Yeah." You quietly said.

"They compliment the dress. It was good that you brought them." You smiled at him, causing him to blush and look away.

"Y'know," Hikaru said as they finished up. "I know the boss wants to stick to the strategy, but this is..."

"What are you all doing standing around here?" Tamaki asked as he came in. "The guests are wai—"

You stood up and faced him. You then began walking as the boys stared at you. "You look cute!" Honey stated.

Everyone blushed but Honey and Kyoya, who were both smiling. "My face feels heavy." You pouted as you kept walking.

"Hurry up!" The twins called out as you kept walking.

"Yeah, I got it." You muttered. As you left, the twins and Tamaki began to fawn over you.

You walked into the room they told you to. Suzushima turned around with a surprised look. You timidly smiled as you walked over to him. "You're not at all what I pictured from the letter you wrote me."

You kept your smile on. "Really?" He nodded. "Can I actually see the letter please?" He then gave it to you, and you read over it:

I'm in love love with you! From the first day I laid eyes on you I've been head over heals in love! Tee hee! All these feelings I have are harpooned to my heart as they keep whipping around my mind like the restless waves! When the special day comes, I want to randezvou with you on Noah's arc! I do I do!

You wondered who the hell would write such a stupid letter. It was actually a collaborative write with Kyoya and the twins. "Excuse me," Suzushima interrupted your thoughts. "Have we met before?"

"No! It's um, the first time we've ever talked!"

"I'm flattered by your letter, but I'm afraid I can't return your feelings." He said. "My heart has been taken by somebody else."

"My apologies! I didn't realize you had a girlfriend."

"No, she's not my girlfriend. I don't even think she's even interested anymore." He looked very sad.

"Well I don't know about that. Your calming presence is a joy to be around, and I'm sure she'd agree." You offered.

He sighed. "Thank you, but honestly, I'm sure she'd be better off with someone more self confident. That's why I'm leaving next month to study abroad. Hopefully become a better man for her. Maybe it's selfish, but I hope she'll wait for me."

"I won't lie to you, it's a little selfish." An arrow went through him. You squished your index finger and thumb. "Just a little. But Toro, if she really is the love of your life then I'm sure she'll still love you just as much as she probably already does."

He was about to say something as he reached out for you, but you heard the door open. You didn't turn so she wouldn't see your face. "Oh, I'm sorry to intrude." You could tell she was crying. "I'll just leave you two be."

You heard her heels and knew she was running away, and he ran after her. "Kanako, wait!"

You then walked next to Tamaki. "We didn't make things worse, did we?"

"He did run after her. He needs to learn how to be more sure of himself."

You were both walking back when you tripped again over your heels. Tamaki interlocked your arms together. You looked up at him. "You really need to learn how to walk in heels. They look so lovely on you, and it'd be a shame if you tripped and hurt yourself."

You smiled and nodded, leaning on his shoulder. You then tripped again, only for him to hold onto you and prevent you from falling. You giggled, followed shortly by Tamaki chuckling with you.

You both went over to the balcony. The lights hit, and you saw Kanako and Toro. "Let us join together and announce that this couple has been chosen for the final waltz of the night." Tamaki announced.

He said something to her, squeezing his eyes shut and asking her for a dance. You snickered. "Why are you laughing?" Kaoru asked.

"I know he's trying his best, but he looks kinda goofy right now." All the hosts looked from you to them and smiled. "They're awesome together though."

"May this awkward couple be forever blessed!" Tamaki exclaimed.

Kyoya then stepped forward. "And now for the grand prize, a kiss from our royalty."

"Y/n with step in for Tamaki." Kaoru said with a banana peel in his hand.

"And the kiss with be for Toro Suzushima." Hikaru added with another banana peel in his hand.

Tamaki was shocked, and you turned to Kyoya. "I'm not gonna—"

"It'll lower your debt by a third."

"I mean it is just a peck." You smiled and headed down.

"Wha..." Tamaki said.

"Also," You said as you began walking down the stairs. "You guys need to work on your love letter skills, because that was embarring for me to read."

As you went down Suzushima saw you and gave you a surprised expression. "You..."

"Y/n," Kanako said. "Were you the girl with Toro?"

"Hi guys. We just needed to give you two a gentle nudge. I promise I'm not in love with Toro. And I'm really sorry and embarrassed they gave you that stupid letter. I didn't write any of that." You smiled at them.

He nodded. "Thank you."

You then looked at Kanako. "May I?"

"Sure. It'll mark the beginning of our relationship."

Up from the balcony, Tamaki was reaching out for you weakly. "I wonder if this is y/n-chan's first kiss?" Honey thought out loud.

This made Tamaki snap, and he began running to you. "Wait y/n~!"

He slipped on the twins' banana peels and accidentally pushed you, causing you to kiss Toro on the lips instead. Kyoya did say that a little accident would make the night a little more interesting.

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Author's Note: Comment if you liked it (please) or if you want to be tagged 😁

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Tag List:

@krustykrabbspizza @animefan7420 @strangerthingsholland @the-dead-fucking-sea

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