Ligera
Hay una foto del 2021 que me mira, me sonríe pero me juzga
-¿Es así como se siente? De todos los hombres del mundo con los que pudimos haber pasado la noche por primera vez...¿fué él?
Le pido que me perdone, nuestra empatía nos nublo la vista y no fue reciprocra. Dimos a manos llenas lo que teniamos en nuestro corazón. No pasó nada de lo que podriamos habernos arrepentidos, aunque nuestra mente nos haya hecho pensar lo contrario. No estamos rotas, solo tristes...
-¿Seguimos hablando con él? ¿Sigues siendo condescendiente?
Me resulta anecdotico escribir algo que tenga relación con él, nunca fue considerado una opción firme. No, esta vez nos fuimos, no nos busco, no toco mi puerta, no llamó a medianoche, no escribió. ¿No te sientes ligera?
Casi cometó el mismo error que mi madre.
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The explanation I owe myself
It's okay to not succeed, and it's okay to not deliver the way you want to. The important part is living, meaning breathing, eating, sleeping. The rest will come when the time is right. (I hope.)
Alright, alright, my friends, gather around and let me tell you a story. It all started when I was a young, young girl (ca 2 months ago) when I decided to become the productive lady I'd always wanted to be by joining a challenge on the app I discovered that very same day (spoiler alert; it was this app and the #100daysofproductivitychallenge).
It worked for a few days, hell, I did more in those few days than I had for the past month and a half (estimates, but very likely). You see, before then, I had been in a flunk. Productive wise, school wise, life wise. Then, suddenly, this thing came before me like a saviour out of thin air, and I thought my crisis was solved - because, obviously, I would be able to stick to this challenge, in complete contrast to every other similar thing I've tried to put my mind to. For a few days, it did. Specifically, five days (I believe, I don't want to check). Then came the first break, I missed a few days - listed things I'd done as productive tasks even though I, in many cases, didn't believe they were. You see, I am a procrastinator. I think of things I need to do, they make me anxious, I do other things or nothing at all in response - an evil cycle I can't get out of. After those few days, I fell straight back into the loop, and I've done barely anything since.
Now, it's almost the end of my Christmas break, and I feel like I'm stuck, quickly suffocating in the piles of school work I need to do before I get back to school. Here's my current list:
Finish my second version of my extended essay first draft
Finish my first AND final draft of my TOK essay
Finish my final draft of my TOK report
Finish reading Juloratoriet for Swedish class
Finish my economics IA3 final draft
Finish my biology IA first draft (this was, literally, due october.)
Finish my Swedish HL essay second draft
Finish my mathematics IA final draft
Finish my CAS updates
Finish my history IA first draft
Prepare my Swedish oral
Learn the entire math course because it's finished and I know nothing - I've failed all but one math test the past two years :)
All this needs to be done on six days and I won't be starting tomorrow, I can feel it. I feel like I'm out of order. I'm not working. My brain. My body. My life. It's all out of order, and nothing is like I want it to be. I know what's needed to succeed, -studying-, but I can't bring myself to do it. Do you have any tips?
Anyway, I was thinking I may give the productivity challenge another try, continuing from where I left off, to see if it may help to give me something to work towards. So, here goes nothing.
Day 15/100
Today I did nothing of actual value, but I did get some things done;
Played basketball with some friends for a few hours that I can use for CAS (this is to be read as an achievement, because I left my house almost out of free will)
Finished reading It's kind of a funny story by Ned Vizzini (I rate it like a 4.5 out of 5 stars but it ended up being 5 out of 5 on goodreads since they don't do half's)
Started reading Dear Nobody by Billie Doherty - so far, no thoughts whatsoever about it
Watched a few episodes of RuPaul's Drag Race (speaking of which, my stepmum gifted my mum and I with tickets to RuPaul's drag race the world tour the upcoming October (!) and I'm very excited about it)
Alright, by for now. Hopefully, I'll be back tomorrow. Possibly, I'll be back in a month or two (maybe more).
PS. can you tell I'm currently using my tumblr as a thought dumpster simply because I know no one on here in real life? I'm telling you - it's the trick to success.
PSS. Here's a song (that I've forgotten completely) by a band I used to like (probably still do but I did forget of their existence), simply because it's called the new year, and new years eve was a few days ago. Happy holidays.
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Mar. 19th, 2021
100 Days of Productivity Challenge Day 87/100
Good morning! I just focused on trying to get through as much study material as I could for my upcoming Physics and Arabic midterms. I hit my study goals for the day but wish I did a bit more tbh. Also, study waffles are the best waffles.
Here's a quick rundown of my day:
Woke up at noon
Had lunch
Studied Physics and took notes, 1 hour, 26 slides
Studied Physics and took notes, 30 minutes, 14 slides
Made dinner
Studies Arabic, 2 hours, 2 lessons complete, 15 pages
Exercised and goofed off with siblings
Went to bed at midnight
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Hi guys, sorry I've been MIA but I've just been in a bad place lately. I'm not great, but I'm a little better now. So I saw the 100 days of productivity challenge so I thought that this would be the first time to try it out. So just consider it day 0.
I don't know if there are rules, but I just want to make it clear to myself that productivity is not just about studying. I can't work at my best every day, so on the bad days, productivity is just getting out of bed, doing something as small as it can be.
I just want to challenge myself and keep my spirits up during this quarantine time. I invite you all to do it with me🤗
Let's do our best to make this quarantine a good time!
I love you guys, please take care of yourselves and stay inside. Please protect your families and the spread of this virus!
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{1/100 days of productivity}
It's been months I wanted to start this challenge and I finally have the guts (and time ha) to post.
- Did English exercises. I am late so I'll need to do many more being up to date.
- Reading my book for terminology class tomorrow.
It's only 8PM here but I am now so used to go to sleep at 9-ish I already feel sleepy. 😫 help
It's also becoming darker faster these days. Fall is my favourite season, but shorter days are making me sad a bit 🙁
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Look who’s back!
It feels like I haven’t uploaded in this page in months. I’ve been really stressed recently, and felt that I should think a break from social media and my phone in general. As a society, we probably spend at least 1/3 of our day scrolling through our phone alone. I really wanted to take the time to rest and take a break from all that.
However, I am now back. I will be starting the #100daysofproductivitychallenge again, instead of carrying on from where I left off. I feel like that way it’ll be more accurate about the work I’ve completed.
K x
#studyblog#alevelpsychology#studyblr#studygram#studysession#biology#englishlanguage (at England)
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bol2bbwlDvB/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=vk6y5wk8wekz
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