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bizarrelittlemew · 1 month

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i can't wait to be 30+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 40+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 50+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 60+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 70+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 80+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 90+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to look back on my life and know that i loved things deeply and passionately and was inspired to create and was part of communities with incredible people from all over the world brought together by the stories that touched us

#and still be mad at shithead executives for unfairly cancelling my pirate show #also imagine what my ao3 word count will be like. gonna be writing my little fics in the nursing home #sometimes when i get frustrated over my writing i have to remember that i've only been doing it for a little over a year #and not in my native language #there is still so much time and so much to learn and try and discover and explore and i am EXCITED #there is something so ancient and beautiful about humans being brought together by stories #storytelling is what humans have always done and will always do and what will always connect us #to our past to the future to each other #sorry for the 1 am ramblings #fandom #🐭📓

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sonofsin · 11 months

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fucked up how I can only remember 1 (one) positive memory with my father. I'm sure there were more, I'm sure he could be a loving father, but far more often he was either absent emotionally and/or physically or outright abusive even outside of the csa.

#we sat in the dining room together watching a thunderstorm in silence at like #1 am or something #not that I want to have this memory. it fucking confuses me and I never know how to feel about it

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demon-of-the-ancient-world · 29 days

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Hate (affectionate) how it's made so clear from the very beginning of part 1 just how loved Paul is by his family and household. Both his parents, Duncan, Gurney, Thufir, even Dr Yueh all clearly care so deeply for this kid, and we're shown that time and time again.

Cut to the end of part two, and almost every one of those people is gone. The only ones who remain are a weird, came-back-wrong version of Jessica, and Gurney who has gone from mentor to worshipper. Paul goes from someone deeply loved and valued for who he is by a small but caring group of people - to someone followed and worshipped and feared by thousands. They're obsessed with him in a way, as a leader and "messiah", but nobody loves him.

The only one remaining who loves him for who he is is Chani, who leaves him because in the end that love isn't enough to bring who he is back.

#dune #dune part 2 #paul atreides #i am losing my MIND #upon rewatching part 1 it struck me just HOW loved paul is. and then you contrast that with his horde of followers in part 2 #none of whom will so much as touch him when he's injured badly enough that he can barely walk #he's not human anymore. he's just an idea.#i am in physical pain #something something it's about parasocial relationships & celebrity culture #like idk if that was frank or denis' intention but. i see a bit of That.

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 7 months

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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

#not a shitpost #serious post #ask to tag #tw trauma #cptsd #c-ptsd #and if so we should TALK about it #because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays #like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc #bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times #and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact #2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc #3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation #and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie #4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories #and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong #weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards #i got lucky there #also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons

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inkskinned · 10 months

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you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

#writeblr #warm up #my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky #i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles #yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help #for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT #and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen #than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say #''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help #i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't #actually offer fair support to everyone #we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help #bc i DID have it better than other people #and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn #instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself

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madootles · 7 months

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consumed with the urge to draw with ed holding cat. that's all

edit: metal arm wrong side bc canvas flip

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queerbuckleys · 9 months

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Rwrb Marketing: enemies to lovers!

Rwrb in reality: absolute fucking idiots to lovers

#maybe my definition of enemies is too harsh or something #but I just never saw it that way ever #Alex is just a stubborn stubborn oblivious man #and Henry is Henry #anyway I should sleep #it’s 1:30 am #rwrb #red white and royal blue

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moraent-keys · 3 days

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I don’t feel like working on this anymore 😅

#I finished this at like 1 am or something #I was tired y’all #my art #digital art #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel lucifer #radioapple #appleradio #duckiedeer #lucifer x alastor #alastor x lucifer #putting all their tags cuz why not

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twinktor-frankenstein · 6 months

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I'm gonna cry Mike x Ness is so fucking funny thank you fnaf fandom. My new favourite thing is MatPats cameo character who had like 5 lines being shipped with the literal main character of the movie that he didn't even interact with

#pretending my chuck e cheese post had something to do with this #i am now securitywaiters numder 1 fan #securitywaiter #mike x ness #fnaf movie

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amelia-yap · 1 month

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instructions unclear, demon ended up fixing the pentagram themselves

#ruby rose #weiss schnee #whiterose #white rose #rwby #my art #they eventually kiss #random idea that popped out at nearly 1 am lmao #and i had to doodle something #ruby did complete her objective though good for her

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fastdrawfarmboy · 4 months

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I know we all like to talk about Kirk grabbing Spock's arms in the "not in front of the klingons" scene and how it's something he normally does before kissing people but like, can we talk about how Spock does the same to Kirk at the end of Amok Time because I for one cannot stop thinking about it.

Like, what were you going to do there Spock? Were you going to finally do with your captain what you know he's done with all those people who you wished were you?? Were you going to grab your captain by the arms and kiss him on the lips in an expression of pure, illogical, unvulcan joy and love??? Did seeing this man alive fill you with so much relief and elation and oh so human affection that you couldn't help but mirror what he would do if put in your position with someone he loved as much as you do him???? Gay.

#I said something like this in the tags of a reblog some time ago but I needed it out there in its own post #it's 1 am and the parallels are haunting me #star trek #star trek tos #k/s #spirk #star trek kirk #star trek spock

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lunacias · 2 months

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001: first shift

#the magnus protocol #tmagp #samama khalid #gwen bouchard #alice dyer #rusty quill #tmp #magpod #gwendolyn bouchard #wanted to draw something small for each episode but here I am finishing one (1) like. 10 episodes in #my headcanon is that lena is a lot stricter re: dress code but in general #gwen usually dresses in neutrals/grays #sam is New Here so he at least tries for the business casual look of button up #and alice gets away with more loud outfits bc look it's a sweater vest are you saying that's NOT professional *thinking emoji face*#rip statement of [name] statement begins format you will be missed #wait imagine we get a statement in one ep that has that format with no comment #i say this but I love how different all of the statements are with the new format

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months

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My rendition of @tempo-takoyaki's DTIYS!

Congrats on the milestones! And to everyone else, please go check out their 'Drawing TGCF (except I haven't read the books)' series!

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #svsss #tgcf #wei wuxian #shen qingqiu #xie lian #better drawn mdzs #(Vaguely??? I think SQQ came out handsome enough to put him in my special gallery)#Showing up to submit this less than 3 days before the DTIYS ends is filling me with a bit of anxiety but it is done!#Initially I was going to do a descending level of realism/detail but noses make me nervous still. One day I'll get there.#The irony is that I was planning on drawing something to celebrate tempo finishing season 1 of their series only to find this DTIYS!#*and* it was their birthday recently. I am compelled to lift them into the air and shout their praises.#What a genuinely kind person with an art style I want to bite into like a crunchy apple!!! The *range* is incredible!#Also their xie lian is probably one of my favourite interpretations. So done with everything but not misanthropic.#Remembers everything and lets other's spin in circles with their lies for the sheer chaos of it all. Teases relentlessly. Deeply sad.#Give it a read! They are planning on continuing on so now is a great time to catch up!#Thanks for hosting this fun art challenge Tempo! We all appreciate you deeply B*)#I hope you have a better year in 2024 - you truly deserve the best.

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the-witchhunter · 2 months

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Ghost King Danny and what have you, but the Infinite Realms only connects to the Nicktoons. So Danny sings over in FOP, vacations in Retroville, bonds with Neptune down in Bikini Bottom over sons (Dan and Triton) and daughters (Dani and Mindy) that cause them stress, Overshadows Jenny (which probably counts as a level of intimacy Constantine would be jealous of), relaxes over in Rugrats/Wild Thornberrys, messes with Zim, etc

Then Danny gets summoned to DC because someone wanted to summon the king of a multiverse. Danny's friends and foes are not amused. How dare that random universe steal their king buddy/enemy!

Nightwing: Don’t make me do this SpongeBob *pulls out escrima sticks”

SpongeBob: You’ve left me no choice

———

I am highly amused by this but that was as much as I got

Nicktoons Vs DC

#dp x dc #danny phantom #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc prompt #danny fenton #dpxdc #nicktoons #nicktoons unite #spongebob #nightwing #answered asks #anon ask #I’m highly amused but it’s like 1:30 am rn #someone please take this and do something with this #because all I can think about is SpongeBob vs dick Grayson

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floccinaucinihilipilificationa · 11 months

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Hello may 31th anon! Look at that, another year behind us and a new one to come. Have a nice day! ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡

#may 31th anon #hello friends!! (｡’▽’｡)♡ how are you!! I missed you so much!#I'm sorry that once again i have not been posting but I did that thing again where I got scared of posting #I do not know why but it is the same with physical paper diarys #I have 3 diarys and they all have 1 entry #I think one just says 'I am ten'#what have you been up to!! did you do something fun? is it summer too where you live? c:#my tumblr messages seem to be broken! I'm sorry if you wrote something :C it just says 'no new messages' despite also saying new messages #not a lot has happened here! I got a tomato plant and then I got very invested into the tomato plant and I have eaten three tomatos so far (#my roses are also doing well!! I just got a new yellow rose and since she got here she only made orange flowers #I do not know the meaning of that #but I am very thankful! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡ I love it when things are orange!!#I've been trying to buy an orange shirt for the past 2 weeks but they always sell out before I get to them #I'm also thinking about buying a jean jacket #I have not worn a jean jacket for at least 15 years because one time in 7th grade tthe girl behind me said #that I was wearing a cool jean jacket and I just assumed that this was bullying for no actual reason #but maybe she just thought that it was an acutal cool jean jacket #we'll soon have out 10 year school reunion #maybe I should ask her #is anyone else going to a secret Sherlock phase again #I just want to see that silly little hat again #would sherlock holmes wear a jean jacket #have a nice day everyone!!#see you soon hopefully!!#♡＾▽＾♡

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betweenblackberrybranches · 1 year

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Ah yes i am having a normal one working on the rlgl au for around 6 hours straight (very very slow because still sick)

That feeling when even more of the people from work show up at your apartment complex and get a good look at your face making it even more likely that you will be found out for breaking company rules

Y/N is like: yea i clean up after these people all day at work and know all their little tricks, they dont have any effects on me!

Chica: exists

Y/N: g...girls .... pretty...

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