#0/10 for taste in men | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

daichiduskdrop · 9 months

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˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚⋆·˚ ༘ *𝙎𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 ⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

Chapter 10

Pairing: BTS Ot7 X fem! reader

Genre: A/B/O AU, Fluff, Angst, Strangers to lovers,

Warnings: none!

Words: 3668

A/N: 10 chapters in!! :0 Thank you so much for all the support with this story :)) I value you a lot.

Taglist: @thelilbutifulthings @ilovemoneymorethenmen @singukieee @cherrysainttt @felicityroth @mageprincess7 @lucis-noctiana @danielle143 @osakis-gf @girl-nahh @vintageoldfashion @neverthefirstchoice @juju-227592 @silentreadersthings @i-have-no-life-charlie @everyonehatesshani @iamkookiesforyou @dragons-flare

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Blushing at what the alpha said, you slurped up a bit more of the stew. There were a few greens and vegetables in it, and with quite a bit of kimchi that was cut into bite-size pieces, the meal had a strong flavour.

The broth tasted a little like seafood but was also meaty, and it was just good. You enjoyed the meal.

„Babycheeks, here have some of this. It's good for you.” Taehyung said, chopsticks already right in front of your mouth. Biting into the daikon, you let the crunchy vegetable calm your slightly burning mouth.

Humming softly, you nodded at his watchful eyes. „It's nice; thank you, Tae.” Smiling at you widely, the alpha softly patted your head.

„Is the stew too spicy, princess?” The other alpha asked, noticing how your nose scrunched up a little with every other bite. You didn't want to seem disrespectful towards them; they prepared a meal for you so nicely, and you didn't want to seem ungrateful.

Smiling a little, you were just about to shake your head before you were interrupted.

„It definitely is, isn't it, Pup?" Namjoon answered instead of you, his voice going into a more worried tone. Looking towards his eldest packmate, who sat a few seats away from him, he stood up quickly.

„Shit, I'm so sorry, baby cub. I didn't mean to make it that spicy; here, let me help, sweetie...no peaches, let alpha do it.” Jin said, bending over you and scooping up some of the kimchi pieces into one of the empty bowls lying around.

Whenever you attempted to do so too, going to dig around with your spoon to also place the pickled vegetables in the dish, your hand was gently pushed to your lap, Jin tutting at you softly.

Yoongi too stood up, and a cup held under the faucet was quickly filled with warm water. Once the other alpha stepped out of the way since he got a big part of the main spice out, the younger man poured the water into your bowl, filling it back up again.

Now it was a lot less seasoned, so it was a lot milder for you. Thanking him softly, you felt him gently rub his chin over the top of your head, caressing you lovingly.

„It's okay, kitty. Try it now; is it better?” Tasting it again, you nodded your head gratefully. It helped a lot, so you continued on, chewing on pieces of boiled onion and tofu.

„Im glad cub.” Smiling at Jin's comment, you finished up the dinner with no problems. Making light conversation with the other men about your favourite movies and such, the evening continued calmly.

Finishing the peach juice you had been so nicely poured, you let Jungkook take a hold of your palm, slowly pulling you out of your seat.

„Do you want to play a game with me, Tae, and Jimin? We have a completely new one; would you like to see, baby?” Bending over you, he ruffled up your hair before he tamed it back down and brushed it behind your ear.

„What game is it?” You asked, already walking with the alpha towards the couch. The TV was turned on, the menu shining brightly with the settings turned on.

Taking a seat on the couch next to Jimin, you watched over the two other men sitting before you. Taehyung already had a controller in his hands, smiling when he saw you. His eyes were excited.

„It's Resident Evil 7, babycheeks. It came out a few years ago, but we didn't play it yet.” Tae murmured, adjusting the brightness of the screen and the loudness.

„Yah, you know it's a horror game, Kook-ah. Let the poor thing rest; she will get scared like this. Princess, go run up to the other alphas now; this won't do you any good, baby.”

Jimin frowned at his packmates. They knew more than well how sensitive omegas can be about this stuff, especially right before bed. He didn't want you to have bad dreams.

„But hyung! We are here; it won't be that scary!” Jungkook whined, his voice loud. He wanted you to see how good he was in games, plus, this was one of the easiest ways to also show just how fearless he was.

He won't get easily startled, even with jump scares around, and that should surely impress you; he was sure of it.

„No, Jungkook, absolutely not. Come here, peaches, do you want to see the music studios we have here? You'll like them; there is a lot of interesting stuff. Here, I'll take you, sweet cub.”

Quickly shuffling over when he heard the light commotion, Jin could understand Jimin's worry. This could end very wrongly, and they were taking no chances.

Walking over from cleaning up the kitchen, the alpha picked you up easily, hands under your arms, and pulled you to his chest, securely holding you up.

Without having any time to even protest, you just complied, smiling sadly at the forced whine coming from the two youngest alphas. Resting your cheek over the wide shoulder Jin had, you let him walk towards the walkway that was to the right of the stairs.

There were quite a few rooms in the house with a lot of different purposes, but the outside heated pool was Jin's personal favourite. They had a large garden that Namjoon enjoyed taking care of so much, but the 20-meter-long pool was just perfect.

It was covered, but now it was way too cold out to go swimming. The air was icy, so there was steam coming out of their mouths whenever they were outside.

Plus, even if they did take you right now, the snow that covered everything in such a thick layer would be just too harsh on your bare skin when you were on your way back inside.

They could carry you back inside, though, the thought had the alpha rethink his decisions. They just might take you swimming some time when they all have a few free hours.

Smiling at you when you looked at him and noticing the thoughtful gaze he held, Jin knocked on the first studio doors that were in the hallway. Snuggling closer to his neck, you breathed in the soft Yasmine smell, the warmth from the alpha's chest comforting you even more.

After a few seconds, the frosted glass doors opened, and Hobi in blue light-blocking glasses appeared before you two. Immediately, when he noticed you in his older packmate's arms, he smiled widely, cooing at you.

„Aigoo, did you come to visit me, sunshine?" Chuckling, he lifted you up from Jin, holding you to his chest himself. Combing his fingers through your hair, the eldest let the smallest bit from his wrist's scent glands linger.

„I'll go finish up in the kitchen now cub, okay? Call if you need anything, peaches. Stay with Hobi for now, though.” Smiling sweetly at you, he caressed your cheeks gently. Nodding up at him, you held onto the red hoodie Hoseok was wearing.

Paired with a pair of cotton off-white loose sweatpants, he only had white socks on, comfortably clothed for the finishing touches he still had to do for one song tonight.

He and the other rapline members had a planned session tomorrow morning at BigHit with a few of the managers, so he needed to prepare some stuff for him to be able to show them.

Closing the doors after himself, the alpha whistled a tune he made into a song a few days ago, easily carrying you with only one hand and pulling the turning chair out.

Taking a seat, he placed you on his lap, letting you loop your legs through the arm rests, loosely hanging them by the sides of the chair.

Patting your lower back in a settling pattern, you rested your body fully against his chest, just breathing in his scent and presence for the moment.

There were a lot of things around the studio; the large wooden desk had a bunch of things carefully placed on it, and the two large speakers on the sides of the monitor quickly pulled your attention when you first looked over the room.

Hobi had an almost black beanbag chair on the floor, close to the entrance, that had a giant red and white SUPREME cover that moved in the breeze. Behind the pillow chair was a standing black shelf filled with many colourful dolls and statues.

Gently turning from left to right in the chair, the alpha swayed you both around.

„Hm.. do you want to listen to the song I'm working on, bub? It's almost done; I just need to fine-tune a few things.” Looking over, you let the man help you sit so you could face the big monitor yourself.

Placing a pair of big headphones over your head, he adjusted your hair so none would be caught under them, itching you. Any sounds from outside were suddenly blocked out so well that you were stunned a little.

You loved listening to music; you did it very often when creating, at school or at home, when you were walking anywhere or just in the bus; it just eased your mind a lot.

But since you didn't have much money to spend on any good headphones, you were left with a wire pair of black earbuds that sometimes just stopped working.

Still, you did use them quite often, even when they would push at your ears after a long time of wearing them, making your ears hurt a little.

You heard about the sound-blocking effect a few higher-quality headphones had, but you never had the chance to try it out yourself, so this was very new for you. You liked it a lot, though.

Hearing only the lightest sound of the man's laugh, he turned on the track, music playing in his ears. It sounded like it was being played for you live with how high quality the audio was, your lips parting slightly at that.

The song itself was awesome too; the singing was great and the rap even better. You enjoyed it a lot. When it ended, you looked over at the alpha, and your eyes widened with wonder.

Taking off the headphones for you, he placed them gently back on the desk. Looking at him immediately, you were amazed.

„What is the song called? It's so nice, Hobi! It's really soft!” You said, your voice happy and excited.

„We are naming it Take Two. I'm happy you liked it! I still need to finish some stuff off, though." He murmured, his eyes already focused on the screen again. While typing a few things on the keyboard here and there, the mouse clicking wasn't too loud for it to be annoying.

With his arms outstretched around you, you took the headphones off the desk again, looking over them. They really had a lot of nice stuff; Jin wasn't lying at all.

„The sound from these is so good..!" Not being able to hold back, you gently whispered, turning them into your hands.

Looking back down at what you were talking about, he giggled softly at you. „Is that so sunshine? They are ok, Yoongi hyung has a much better pair though. I lended mine to Namjoonie for a little bit, he lost his own somewhere. These are only for a little while.”

„He lost his headphones? Oh no, how will he make music now-” Your voice was bewildered, quickly taking your attention from the device in your hands you stared up at the alpha in shock.

„No, no. Its alright bub. It's not that big of a deal, it happens a lot.” Laughing loudly at the end of the sentence he carresed your head, gently shushing your worries.

Pulling your face to his chest, your knees went over his tights, loosely hanging by his. Gently gripping onto his hoodie, you closed your eyes for a little bit.

Rubbing your back occasionally, the alpha cuddled up to you closer, squeezing you to his body. Putting on the headphones himself, he got back to work. Breathing in your sweet scent, he felt calm.

Any nerves he felt about showing the new track to his managers he felt earlier had quickly disappeared, and so after a short while he finished up fully.

Saving all files, Hobi looked down at you, only to see you already long asleep, your breathing prolonged and calm. He smiled softly at you, finishing up on his computer before he pulled you back up in his arms again.

Stirring a little, you whined softly, having the alpha shush you quickly. Patting your lower back gently, he walked out of his studio doors, walking back over to the kitchen again.

„Hush sweet baby. It's alright, alpha's here.” He murmured, carresing the top of your head with his cheek. Entering the kitchen, he turned the lights on, noticing the loud sounds coming from the TV.

Looking over, he saw just how dark the game was and decided that just wasn't for him. Pouring himself and you a glass of cold water, he woke you up softly, helping you hold the glass while drinking.

Waking up a bit better, Hobi placed you on your feet again, brushing his fingers through your hair. Looking over at the digital clock on the wall, it read 21:49. Mumbling about how you still had to shower, you walked up the stairs slowly, hearing Hoseok call about you being careful while walking still so tiredly.

Making your way to the furthest room from the stairs, you walked in, turning on the lights. The dark, clean sheets greeted you kindly, shuffling over to the bed you went through the clothing pile Jungkook and you earlier pulled out.

Taking out your sleepwear and a fresh pair of underwear, you walked over to the adjoined doors leading to a bathroom, secluded for the guest room. It wasn't the biggest, but considering how it was all for yourself only, you were more than satisfied.

Still it was much bigger than your own you had at your apartment. Placing your clothes on the white counter top next to the sink, you stripped from your outfit you wore earlier today.

Stepping into the marble tiled shower, you pulled the glass doors after yourself, turning on the shower above you. Washing away any sweat and grime you shampooed and conditioned your hair, the strawberry scented bottles calling out your name.

You were more than sure that the alphas weren't planning on stopping spoiling you rotten any time soon. Noticing the bottles were named of an expensive brand you just shook your head slightly.

After the short shower you dried your body you pulled on your pyjama pants, the light blue and white gingham pattern matched to the blue short sleeve loose t-shirt you had with yourself.

Toweling your hair dry, you pulled open one of the drawers, the black air-dryer intimidating you a little. Taking it out, it felt much heavier than any other one you had ever held.

Walking from the now warm and steaming room, you took it with yourself, rearranging all the stuff still placed on your bed so you would be able to get comfortable later on. Walking out of your room, your bare feet slapped against the cold floors quietly.

Noticing Yoongi walking towards his room before you, you called out his name softly, pattering towards him. Turning to you immediately, the alpha watched over you as you walked to him.

„Hm? Kitty? What's wrong? Where are your socks, baby?” Taking one look at your bare feet, he could already imagine you getting a cold like this. Absolutely not.

Still, you showed him the hairdryer, your wet hair dripping a few water drops on the ground here and there.

Sighing out, he nodded before walking with you back to your room. Gosh, the things he would do for you. Even prolonging his much-wanted sleep? He was more than whipped for you already.

Closing the doors after entering, he motioned towards your bed, already looking for a plug to get the small device working.

„Hop up 'mega. Alpha will dry your hair, baby.” Taking a seat, you pulled the soft brown hoodie from Hoseok to your lap, your fist closing over the fabric softly.

Sneaking his arms around your waist, he pulled you back a little, so you were closer to him. The wire wasn't that long, after all. Turning it on, he let it be on cold air settings, gently combing your hair out with his fingers before he started drying it for you.

Minding your hairstyle, he worked well and fast. With one knee placed over the mattress, the alpha allowed you to rest your lower back fully against him.

Making quick work with it, your hair was soon dry, and the obnoxiously loud noise was turned off too. Ruffling your hair, he gently turned your face to check over the front of your hair. Satisfied with his work, Yoongi nodded softly.

„Okay kitten, all done. Here, let me help you to bed. You should go to sleep now, or you'll be tired by tomorrow, and we can't have that, sweet kitty. Come on, let's see about these covers." Unfolding them, Yoongi gently shook them out, being careful to let only the smallest bit of his scent linger.

Crawling in, you took a seat at the top of the bed, your back resting against the headboard while you watched the alpha. Gently throwing the heavy duvet over you, he patted it down, ensuring your warmth.

„Come on, kitty, settle down now. It's time to sleep, hm?” Coaxing you gently to rest down, you layed on the mattress, your head hitting the pillow softly. Rubbing your shoulder gently, he smiled at you, his gums showing.

„Do you want me to get the other alphas before you sleep, sweet baby? I'm sure they will love to tell you goodnights.” Nodding unsurely, the man left quickly. Folding the hoodie to your chest, you breathed in Jin's scent, which lingered over it just the smallest bit. It comforted you a little.

It took only a minute or two before the room's door opened up again, the packmates filling in one after another. The first to come was Taehyung, smiling widely at you.

He couldn't help but coo at how cuddly you looked, all soft under the heavy blankets, with only a bit of your face peeking out.

„Babycheeks, you are just the cutest thing possible, aren't you? You'll give me a heart attack soon like this! Hm... Babycub, sleep well tonight, okay?” His voice already went deeper than it was; even if it wasn't that late into the night, he felt a bit tired himself.

Nodding at him, you let him hold your hand for a few seconds, gently rubbing his thumb over your knuckles, his eyes calmly looking over you.

„Okay, Taehyung-ah, let me have a bit with her now too, gosh.” Pushing him out of the way gently, you were faced with the eldest packmate. Jin too stared down at you lovingly for a few seconds before he went on to caress your cheeks and temples.

Crouching down next to the bed, he came face-to-face with you, his scent more prominent than earlier. „Sleep well, baby peaches. If the storm wakes you up, come to us right away, okay ? We will keep you secure. It could get a little scary; it's loud sometimes...”

Voicing his running throught, he soon pulled away, allowing the next man to tell you his good nights.

„My princess. Rest well tonight, hm? We will wake you up tomorrow morning, so don't worry about anything. You just sleep well, okay?” His knuckles went softly over your warmed-up cheeks, your eyes fluttering closed for a small second.

„My baby Omega, if you need anything, alpha is always close, okay? You just call, and we will be here in a second, sweet baby. Close your eyes and rest for now; don't worry about a thing.” The youngest spoke, his voice gentle and calming.

Patting over your shoulder, he too stood up after a few seconds of watching over you. They felt the need to know about your wellbeing before going to sleep themselves, so while the other men were still saying their good nights, the rest went over the room, making sure the window was tightly shut and sealed, the curtains drawn close with no chance of seeing inside.

„My sleepy sunshine. It's time for good nights now, yea? You have to sleep lots and lots, so you won't be all tired tomorrow. If you need anything, just come to one of us.” Rubbing his chin over the side of your head, Hoseok smiled brightly at how you were holding the hoodie tightly to yourself.

„Good. Keep a hold of that for me, bub.” The alpha realised how much an object you would grow attached to would keep you calm and settled, so after having that jumper around for when you had your omegadrop, he knew well that it should help with any future ones.

„Okay kitty, it's time to sleep now, yea? Be a good girl for alpha, and don't stay up. Don't be on your phone or something; just rest your eyes. You had a long day, my kitten.”

He himself yawned, feeling tired already. Running his fingers through his hair, he pulled you further into sleep with his soft words.

„My small pup. Sleep lots and lots tonight, alright? And if you wake up, come to an alpha right away, do you understand, baby cub? This is important. ...Okay, good girl. Sleep now, sweetheart. Alpha's will keep you safe.”

Pulling the duvet closer to your chin, he patted it down to make sure you'd be warm throughout the night. And so, with the heater turned on fully and a glass of water placed on your bedside table from Jin, you were soon lulled to sleep, the men all waiting to see you fully rest before they all left to go to bed themselves.

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sabosbabygirl · 4 months

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My HCs on Kento Nanami:

Again this is my personal opinion/perception of the amazing man Nanami.

-He smells like a mix of cologne, slight sweat, aftershave, and coffee. Bitter, sweet, woodsy and delicious.

-Stops at the store often to get you something. Flowers, favorite candy, etc. Has 0 issues getting you feminine products and would even made a little basket for you.

-Anything homemade: bread, baked goods, etc. is the way to his heart. He prefers things that are made from love and thought rather than bought.

-Loves cuddling. Will be big spoon or have your head lay on his chest. He will play with your hair, give you kisses, say “I love you” and rub your back.

-Loves his suits but when he is at home, he will be more chill wearing grey sweats (because you asked 😏) and a hoodie. Most of his chill clothes are black, aside from those grey sweats you like so much.

-Reads often and has his own mini library of books ranging from Stephen King to F. Scott Fitzgerald.

-Listens to all music: classic, punk, rock, pop. Favorite is early 2000s rock/punk.

-Jewelry is the most expensive thing he owns. He takes pride in looking immaculate at work and that includes all details of what he wears such as his watch.

-Great cook. Loves cooking pasta inspired by Italy.

-Communication is on point. He talks a lot to you and only you. Messages you throughout the day to check in.

Some of my NSFW HCs 🥵:

-Has a breeding kink. He really wants kids and any chance he can fill you with his cream he will. He knows you are currently on BC but maybe one day you will get off it 😏

-Always wants it. Stress causes him to be more horny. He will send you texts like “I’m thinking of you…and your wet pussy” or “10 minutes I will be home…be ready 🤤”

-He loves fingering you. The way your face looks with your eyes rolled back as he sticks his long fingers up your pussy. Finger fucking your pussy until he pulls out and his fingers are coated with your white cream. He will lick his fingers and his eyes will roll back, “You always so good for me”.

-Has no issues eating you out whenever you want. Loves the way your clit twitches against his tongue when he is flicking it back and forth.

-Will go as many rounds as possible. This the only time he actually loves working overtime 😉

-Loves, loves, loves when you suck his massive cock. That shit really gets him fired up. He gets into his by gripping your hair. He is VERY vocal when you are sucking him: “Mmm your mouth feels so good”, “Faster baby”, “Make me cum”, “Fuck your mouth is so hot”, “You are so beautiful”.

-His cum tastes of a tiny bit of saltiness mixed with sweet. He maintains his body well with healthy foods so his cum tastes so good you could honestly drink it up.

-Will explore your kinks with you. He is pretty open minded as long as you both talk through it and communicate on what it is. He even loves when you send him pictures saying “we should try this *insert pic*”.

-He will keep you cumming and cumming. Your pleasure is his pleasure. He doesn’t always have to get off. He would much rather see you cum and squirt everywhere rather than care about his needs.

-Will communicate with you when you are riding: “Up and down, like this”: he will move your hips for you. He loves talking you through it. It’s a turn on for him because it makes him feel slightly in control but also makes you two grow closer in what he likes.

Overall, Nanami is man we all deserve. Something about men in suits whom are overworked 😮‍💨

#smut #jujutsu nanami #nanami x you #nanami kento #nanami headcanons #jjk anime #nanami smut #kento nanami

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sergeifyodorov · 7 months

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POLL RESULTS JUST DROPPED!!

My hockeyblr experiences are largely catered to my own personal tastes -- mostly Leafs, a little Penguins and Stars, one or two who post about Stevie Y and Sergei Fedorov. These are obviously not the only teams out there.

This study was designed to survey as much of hockeyblr as it possibly could, gathering data on which teams people like and to what degrees. There were five questions and a free space -- my attempt to ask people to rank the teams they enjoyed in three levels, from religiously followed to casually affectionate, and an additional couple of questions on love for players versus team. I received over 500 responses. Here are the results.

Yeah, yeah, you all want to know: The most popular team is the Penguins, by a long shot, then the Leafs.

Because my sample size (n = 523) is actually fairly small compared to the number of NHL teams there are, I find definitive rankings tend to be difficult. It’s also worth noting that, as a mainly Leafs blog, my numbers are definitely going to be skewed a little in favour of the Leafs.

Your Guys

These are the teams closest to your heart: the ship you go down with, metaphorically or, depending on how married your old men are, literally. For me, I picked just the Leafs.

The average respondent had 1.9 teams in this category. The most popular, by far, was the Pittsburgh Penguins. Below is a table of teams, arranged roughly into tiers by the number of respondents. Each team has the number of respondents in brackets next to their three-letter code.

I allowed people to pick as many teams as they would like; the average person picked 1.9 teams, but here’s a distribution of how many teams they picked:

4 people picked 0 “your guys” teams, and 2 people picked seven, nine, or ten each teams. Just about half of people had one main team.

I then wondered: what teams were people most likely to only follow? That is, if you hold [x] team in the closest part of your heart, are you more or less likely to also hold any other teams? Almost exactly 25% of picks were solo; I wondered if there was any correlation at all.

Only a little bit! Of the samples large enough to actually consider (so: nothing in that cluster at the bottom left, who all received fewer than 10 picks total, and a few of whom -- CGY, CHI, NSH -- received zero solo pickers), the most devoted fans chose the Sharks, the Bruins, and the Leafs. The fans who liked the most other teams chose the Avs, the Kraken, the Canucks, Panthers, Sens, and Ducks.

Probably a next step would be to look for correlations: if people are a fan of one team, are they more likely to be fans of another? THAT BEING SAID that’s a lot of regressions. Maybe keep an eye on that for the future, but I don’t know!!

Objects of Enjoyment, and Generally Nice

These two were successive tiers meant to distinguish teams that people like from the ones in the category above. I admit I probably could have phrased the questions better; I received several comments saying that they’d watch any hockey when they wanted to put a game on. The dynamics between Your Guys versus Objects of Enjoyment versus Generally Nice would best be described as devoted fan of versus casual fan of versus favourable opinion towards.

As I said a few paragraphs back, people picked 1.9 “devoted fan” teams on average. Again on average, they picked 4.7 “casual fan” teams and 6.5 “favourable opinion” teams. Not all ratios are equal, though! Some teams had significantly more casual than devoted fans, and others still were much more liked generally than average.

I gave each team’s “devoted” count an index number of 1 and measured their casual and favourable count as a ratio against the index number. The teams assembled themselves into a few groups.

No Commitment

Arizona and Anaheim have decided to be soulbonded (Excel refuses to let them have different-coloured dots) and it took me three hundred million years to attempt to (and unsuccessfully) fix, so let’s ignore that. These teams all have a fairly high slope of interest -- a range of casual interest at about five times the pace of fervent interest, and good opinion at about ten times fervent interest. The Calgary Flames are an outlier on the entire graph, not just here.

Casual Interest

I gave up on trying to colour teams according to their real colours shortly after the Anaheim/Arizona debacle. Please employ the legend. Nashville is included on all five graphs for reference. These teams all have a casual interest factor of about 3, and a favourable opinion factor of around 5; the same ratio as the casual fans of the teams in the first category to their fervent fans.

Saturated Market

These teams have a much lower ratio of hardcore:casual:favourable fans, at about 1:2:3.

We Get It, Those Are Your Guys

Pittsburgh and Toronto; these teams have an almost equal ratio of all three categories.

...Whatever This Is

Every other category is defined by its ratios; this category is defined by its shape. While all teams have their rate of hardcore fandom set as 1, the other two tend to increase in a roughly linear form, without too much significant difference between the first interval and the second interval.

These teams, though (again, Nashville is for scale) don’t do that: they have a set increase between hardcore and casual, and a significantly smaller increase (or, in a couple cases, a decrease) between casual and favourable. This suggests perhaps some kind of divisiveness; if you’re not already in there, do you really want to get in further? Either that, or it’s something closer to what the Leafs and Penguins have: that is, a devotion. Like you’re in or you’re out.

Taking these values together

Because the casual:hardcore ratios are measured as indexes and not absolute values, they say nothing about the actual popularity of the team in question -- Calgary is one of the least popular, which is why I assume it’s so weirdly high up; small sample sizes lead to higher error values!

But we do have the absolute values, so we can measure them against each other.

If we consider the “In or Out” to be a category of its own while the other four are along more of a continuum, then we can absolutely see a correlation here -- larger fandoms tend to have more involved fanbases.

Players or Teams?

I also asked participants if their guys tended to be players or teams -- and if those they liked at a more casual level tended to be players or teams.

The results are… not particularly surprising.

On a hardcore level, people tended to prefer teams, although the variability was pretty slight. On a casual level, individual players were much more popular.

I also wondered if people who chose more teams in the hardcore fan question tended to do that because they prefer players.

On average, people who picked players on their hardcore level chose 2.1 teams. People who picked teams chose 1.7 teams. That’s definitely a difference!

Fun Shtuff

I got way more write-in responses on the hardcore player/team question than on the casual question, including this:

Three separate people answered “Minnesota Wild” for their guys and chose no other teams on any level. Hell yes. (One person also did this for the Kings.)

It took about 300 responses before the first Flames fan (at the hardcore level.)

On all three levels, the Seattle Kraken are really popular -- they’re in the top five in each.

What's Next?

If I were to update this survey, I would probably include a question about where all of you are from -- some people (like me) follow their hometown team, while some people most certainly don't (shoutout to the one person from Edmonton who dislikes the Oilers) and others still don't have a hometown team (shoutout to my brasilian + european + etc mutuals and everyone else!!)

Feel free to shoot me an ask if you want me to do anything else with this data -- examine a specific team, give actual casual fan/etc counts and total aggregate rankings, anything else!

#mwah #also im going camping this weekend :thumbsup: THE DOCTOR IS OUT OF OFFICE

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cherri-balms · 3 months

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♡﹕𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓, 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓! — PROLOGUE

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A/N﹕YAY I FINALLY FINISHED THE PROLOGUE FOR MY FIRST SERIES!

This is the first full fledged fanfic I have written in a long time, I hope anyone who finds this finds it enjoyable, I had a fun time writing this prologue chapter and I currently have around a 10-12 chapter vision for this series as it stands, but if this proves to be something you guys like I will be happy to extend the series! I do plan to create a tag list, if you would like to be added shoot me a DM and I will add you to the list! As always any replies will be made through our main acc @caravan-mad!

This prologue pretty much gives most if not all the information about the reader aside from important plot details. I wanted the reader's demon form and time period to be as ambiguous as possible and limit the use of Y/N, the reader in this story has allegories to butterflies.

Not all chapters will have warnings nor does this one, however the full fic will contain dark content and will be under the dead dove do not eat tag.

Some content will include but are not limited to: Unhealthy relationship dynamics, N.SFW, Unrequited love, Yandere themes, Dubcon, and pretty much any tag youd find listed in Hazbin Hotel tbh

𝐄 × 𝐌/𝐅 × 𝟐.𝟔𝐤 × 𝐎𝐧𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 × 𝐀𝐎𝟑

♡﹕Bored at work performing repetitive choreography and pleasing faceless demons, you find yourself reminiscing on life, death, and limbo.

♫ envy baby ~ ♫

“Lights clear? Sounds clear?”

“We’ve been fucking over this Steven! We’ll know it’s clear when they finally stop tuning our shit-”

“Anne chill, we still have six minutes till airing. Don’t waste all your energy on the roadie.”

“That crowd doesn’t seem to be getting any quieter does it…” The little imp’s observations were now only being met by eyerolls and silent treatment by the two drummer girls as the completed instruments silenced in countdown.

Lights crew above, sounds crew from behind, and effects team surround. The way every single backstage member of your cast would run and scurry around you to get their various tasks done always made you think of little mice, rats even, so worked up making sure everything was in perfect position before those curtains had a chance to stop separating you, from them.

It was cute enough to make you laugh as though you were still a highschool girl.

“Broadcasting live in 60 seconds!” Dark blue scene lighting begins to fade your entire surrounding to a pitch black, and among doing so freezes your little mice into statues all around. Only the tiniest crack in the fabric ahead illuminated the space with a sharp vertical line down the curves of the figure that stands as the adorning center piece of this particular attraction. Roaring bass brings about a quake to the stage beneath your feet, queuing time for you to give your puppies a treat.

“Awwwe~ Did we leave you waiting long?” The volume of pure passionate devotion always rang to your ears louder than any electrical speaker could achieve.

The wave of the new future adorned in electrical inventions was something you’ve always been prepared to face; why even in the faint blur of the overworld it was all the grown ups could ever yap enough of! No, that wasn’t where that bitter taste came from.

In the full truth of things, you just never knew you’d stick around long enough to bear full witness to its infection of mankind.

Oh come on. Who are we kidding right now?

“Hi. I wanna people save, all right? ”

You’ve never been more liberated.

“You’re in m-my way!!”

Your eyes have but a second to adjust to the flood of bright neon before life hits play once again. The choreography you, and and the other 4 devils fanned out beside you have programmed into your bodies for the past months flow across the stage with ease. among the camera men you can make out the mass of waving pen lights stirred ablaze after the long anticipation, oh how you love they always use the color dearest to your heart…

“The tightrope falls, broken by others”

Once you felt the rushing high of the stage the first time around tolerance for it subsided immediately after. You’ve seen the looks on those poor saps down in the front row, each one hyper fixated on every movement you make wishing they could be you, or be up here with you.

And of course, you all flash them bright smiles, longing gazes and praise them with verses of purity more fitting for the angelic souls looming up above. Customer service is the utmost desired, as they say!

“What a lady, she’s gonna jump

towards the light and shatter humiliatingly”

Actually, can you even remember when your first performance was? How old were you even? All of this came from a cheap shot of gaining a few quick pennies back in the day. Landing yourself a handsome and rich husband with the filth you wore on your back was the first childhood dream you found dead on arrival, but what you were cursed in status you were blessed with the cuteness that made kittens hiss in envy. To say you had “the voice of a goddess” would mayhaps be a bit too presumptuous, but who were you to refute the compliment when it came your way?

Well, maybe trying to parse through finding the day your career debuted or took off was a fool's errand, but the moment it ended certainly still remains as a burned film stuck to your mind. You stopped caring about the “Oh woes me~ what did I do to deserve this~” a long time ago. Still, the punishment you received in death far exceeded what you ever did to earn in your eyes, more so than your sentencing of eternal damnation.

“High and without care I’m lonely, lonely”

Right on que, as always every time you reach exactly 32 seconds into your first song the intrusive memory flashes the same images of the past over your current reality it almost feels as if you were stuck suffering that fate again each time.

You wish there was more to say on the matter of your demise, but there’s only a brief two second window between staring down some heckling loud mouth making a scene in the crowd and a bomb beneath the stage going off before your soul is falling down under the earth’s crust as a blazing comet onto the asphalt below.

And two days before your 21st birthday too are you serious?! UN-Fucking believable!

“From their idle words, the clown becomes a prisoner”

The only thing you wanted to do was scream in the immense burning agony you were suffering until the whole world knew the kind of pain you were in, but each time you cried not even a croak could get past your scorched throat

Even after the blazes subsided and your charred cocoon was all that was left behind, the inferno decided your vocal chords were going to be its payment.

…. That was it?

This was your payout…

And after all that work…

“It’s the same love as always, no way I’d have regrets”

Surreal didn’t even begin to describe what became of the following weeks, months, you haven’t a clue. The construct of night and day seemed to mean jack in the bizzare wonderland of maddness holding you, only so much telling what shade of putrid red in the sky was darker than the same shade of fucking red from two hours ago! What a productive way to spend your newfound endless time!

Every aspect of this place made you absolutely sick, enough so to have you still praying you just were drugged and having the worst trip of your fucking life, but the horror in maddness is the consistency that lies between the lines. You’re certain that damned illuminated “WELCOME TO HELL!” sign and the stranger you befriended in the mirror was that line that made you finally cave.

“Hey, it's a amazing.”

Honestly, you couldn’t say what specifically led you into the epiphany you had, all of a sudden one day you heard a sudden snapping sound in your conscience, and like that everything made sense to you. Why your life was snuffed before you could emerge from your cocoon, why your makers deemed this your new home, and why that bomb taking your life just wasn’t enough to deem your afterlife a hell.

There was a certain liberation that came with hell that you were never going to get being the glowing little diamond you were in human society, through terrorism, cannibalism and bloodshed one thing would remain a constant throughout devil society. No one would ever give a damn about anything.

Hell became your fucking playground by the time your first extermination came around, and keeping on the move while broke as shit was a cakewalk this time around, but your first encounter with an overlord after catching your foot in the grave in the casino humbled your inflating ego. Chaos for society did not necessarily mean chaos without hierarchy, and going without a voice to call your own put you at an extreme disadvantage.

“LA-LA-LA!”

The crescendo of the opener is right around the corner, for the leading front and center of your group your vocals and choreography had primarily remained reserved for backup. The primary color of lights among the crowd made the obvious clear with who the majority of these demons were here to see, your manager was aware of this more than anyone else.

Your fans tended to be aware of this for a majority of your shows, your parts in particular tended to stand out even as mere background vocals.

“I’m ready for this this lover baby!

My garden of love is in danger from a drawing hand.

Truly, this this lover’s crazy!

In the garden of harm, the bud of a human is a lie-ai-a!”

Sinners rejoice once the solo everyone was edging towards drops with the bass of the loudspeakers and the flares of the strobes above. The pitches your vocals were now capable of hitting and the frequency you were able to synthesize between notes wasn’t just inhuman, it was impossible for any singer whose notes carried on oxygen.

Your manager always made it a note in the writing room or when creating your setlists that overfeeding wolves with delicious treats would dull the taste over time, your solo singles often did well enough to prove this didn’t need to always be the case, but whenever it came to the business decisions you always put your full trust in him. Where you are standing right now is more than enough proof in your eyes that he knew exactly where and when to move his pawns, and in doing so he turned you into a valiant queen.

“Ah! I love you and even things about you I probably shouldn’t love

I love you too much, on a count of one and two

Lie-lie loving you, such words

and doing such things, you’re in m-my way!”

Survival was of the least of your concerns after so much time had passed, but survival was all you could find yourself able to do in your forced retirement. Where you yearn for character in sound you were able to temporarily find when turning to radio, but living vicariously only quenches so much before greed starts cozying up within.

Plausible excuses for your laziness were wearing thinner by the day, even the last sane smolder of human morality trying to keep itself sparked wanted nothing more than to argue you weren’t supposed to be living to the fullest in hell, but the mute silence in your throat was beginning to phase your memory of the voice your inner conscience called its own too, and you'd sooner go mad trying than wither away again a fucking waste.

“Here comes the love maniac who never misses,

Stack up all the whining,

Fall in a high-fi love lie-ai-a!”

Overlords were still beings that had you nauseous upon first glance, your first meeting of one of these overlords had you vowing to never end up in the claws of one again, should you find yourself in a deal you can’t unbind yourself out of. Pride stuck thick to the roof of your mouth and there was nothing more you wanted to do than stick to your morals and prove use on your own, but reality had pelted you with stones throughout your entire afterlife.

You were going to need to write out a loan before you’d find yourself with any ounce of power to call your own, not like you didn’t have options for whom to choose! Even so, you needed to keep a steady head and an even sharper nose. In your ponderance you'd come to realize there was only really one option for you to go to this whole time. Maybe that gambling kitty taught you a valuable lesson on staking bets in the long run.

“Copy their acting and keep the truth hidden

Stacking three and lonely, lonely

You’re surely a clown, a prisoner”

A bet on the future was what you were going to stake it all on.

“Copy their acting and keep the truth hidden

Stacking three and lonely, lonely

You’re surely a clown, a prisoner”

Everything about how the world operated changed so rapidly from the days walking in the sunlight to your eternal party in the redlight, the wave of the future had finally hit with the promise for a solution to everyones problems. There couldn’t have been any better timing, if technology was going to be the way of the future, who's to say you couldn’t prove what was achievable? Like that, you had your sales pitch. The hardest part on your end was complete.

“Hey, it's a amazing.

LA-LA-LA!”

“So you were a singer in life and lost your voice in death, and just what the fuck made you think I was the man to go to for this?” Those were the magic words you were waiting for, with his composure shaken it wasn’t long before he was the one asking the questions and allowing the ball to move into your court. Your fingers dance on the illuminated tablet laying on the table once again before you flip it over toward his direction.

~Have your inventions not made it to that level of advancement yet?

Hook, line, and sinker. You had a hunch a passive aggressive challenge toward the ego would be what ultimately won you over with any overlord you chose, but the speed in which he stood from his desk and held out his hand, it felt almost too easy.

“If it’s a new voice you wish to invest in, consider your stocks opened, Monarch!” Finally…

“I’m ready for this this lover baby!

My garden of love is in danger from a drawing hand.”

“Now for what you have to offer me,” You don’t care. “I hope you weren’t planning on extorting me out of a generous gift and then making the big bucks with it, hm?” These overlords just love to hear themselves go on.

“Truly, this this lover’s crazy!

In the garden of harm, the bud of a human is a lie-ai-a!”

“I suppose I could just issue a royalty for your voice, after all you wouldn’t be making a sound without my tech. Lucky for you, I’ve been having fleeting thoughts of entering the music industry. So why not invest in each other instead~”

“Ah I love you and even things about you I probably shouldn’t love

I love you too much, on a count of one and two”

Being owned by an overlord in the end wasn’t so bad, or maybe this is the fated “stockholm syndrome” everyone seems to be crying about these days. Either way, the biggest price you had to pay in the end was just having someone else do all the “business” part in show business.

Naive maybe, but rosey eyed you weren't. For all that he’s done you still fail to see how your end of the deal has in any way repaid what’s given, which can only lead to one thing down the line. You were going to have to give him your everything.

… Yet, how could you find yourself ungrateful to someone who fulfilled your afterlife dream and still continued to provide for you?

“Lie-lie loving you, such words and even such things, they’re in m-my way!”

The audience went absolutely ballistic at the final group pose signifying the end of your opening set, some of the really hardcore fans in the front row you swore passed out the second eye contact was made.

Yet when you turn your chin upward to the VIP section after performing your tricks so well, all you’re met with is a turned back and a schmoozed up producer instead of a tasty bone.

“Thank each and every one of you for coming to see us tonight!!” No, you only wanted him to come out to see you.

Only you.

Hey, Vox?

Can you just turn your stupid flat head this way?

#Hazbin Hotel #Hazbin Hotel x reader #Vox #hazbin hotel vox #vox x reader #hazbin hotel fanfiction #vox smut #vox x reader smut #hazbin hotel vees #the vees #Hazbin hotel smut #hazbin hotel x you #mdni #🍓My one and only!#🕊Dead dove do not eat!#💔I’ll leave you be…#next next!

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ineffable-opinions · 3 months

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Seme/uke - long response

A decolonial and subaltern take on three posts on seme/uke dynamics that aims to contextualize them while questioning ethnocentrism. I welcome alternative perspectives, corrections and criticisms.

Post #1: Seme/uke dynamics in Be Loved in House...

@absolutebl responding to @echos-of-ivy

Seme – Uke

About two or more characters in a ship/pairing:

seme 攻め: top (the pitcher) (from origin - attack) also referred to as 左 (left)、タチ (tachi)、トップ (top)

uke 受け: bottom (the catcher) (from origin – receive / accept) also referred to as 右 (right)、ネコ(neko/cat)、ボトム (bottom)

riba リバ: verse (doesn't mind being either a top or a bottom) (from origin - reversible)

seme and uke are sourced from martial arts lingo: seme (martial arts), uke (martial arts) & is related to nanshoku tradition (depictied in ukiyo-e style painting below) of androphilia rather than western norms of queerness. Such differences in culture in queerness is seldom appreciated.

Spring Pastimes. Miyagawa Isshō, c. 1750

Sometimes, androphilic men use seme/uke/riba instead of the following terms which are popular in their queer community:

tachi タチ凸 - top

neko ネコ凹 - bottom

riba リバ回 – verse

Other BL producing countries also have similar terms for seme/uke/riba. And those countries also have terms for top/bottom/verse/side in their queer communities.

For example,

In Chinese BL (danmei), seme/uke/riba -> gong (攻)/shou (受)/hu gong (互攻)[1]

In Chinese tongzhi community -

top: gong (攻) or 1 or 上 or 凸

bottom: shou (受) or 0 or 下 or 凹

verse: bu fen (不分)or 0.5 or 10

side: 不10 or 纯爱[2]

四爱 (fourth love) is the Chinese term for heterosexual relationship wherein the woman tops. When fictionalized, such romances are referred to as GB (girl boy) romance as opposed to BG (boy girl) and the heroine is referred to as female gong 女攻め.

In Thai BL, seme/uke/riba -> me (เมะ)/ ke (เคะ)/ se (เซะ) & their queer community have these terms.

Evolution

When the work does not involve sexual acts, seme/uke/riba is assigned based on speculation (‘what if’) in line with audiences’ preference. There are a bunch of stuff that are employed to determine the dynamics but owing to variation in taste, audience don’t always agree with each other. Since seme/uke/riba archetypes rose to that status with the yaoi (doujin) boom with development of comiket, etc. tanbi, June, original shonen ai and other such types of BL don’t follow these archetypes. Live action which follows, to an extent, the latter tradition, such as Boys Love (2006), also don’t have uke/seme/riba archetypes, instead follows the archetypes that was popularized by tanbi literary movement. Tanbi literary movement was queer in more ways than one. It preceded/birthed BL (Mori Mari) and influenced it.

As no culture is passive recipient [pun intended], different glocalizations of seme/uke/riba dynamics exhibit different features, both within and outside Asia (eg. original English-language BL publication).

IRL

While being top/bottom/verse/side pertains to sexual preference/choices and acts or lack thereof, it is not devoid of other implications. Here are some interplay between these preferences/choices and the implications to consider:

Are these preference/choices innate or socially formed? Or both? Or neither?

What does it mean to be top/bottom/verse/side – within and outside the queer community?

Performance of masculinity, femininity, neither. Which masculinity/femininity? Is that masculinity/femininity performance – marginalized, soft, protest, hegemonic or amalgamated?

How local and global queer cultures influence it?

Is it some kind of conformation/attempt to fit in? If yes, what kind and why?

How are those choices impacted by history (including that of colonialism), legal/political implication (e.g.: pink certificate in Türkiye), local forms of patriarchy & heterosexism, class, nationality, race, skin color, caste, age, employment (including sex work) or lack thereof, physical location & avenues of exploration, abilities and disabilities, access to internet & other infrastructure, education (including sex education), health conditions and access to medical care, etc.

How do they form expectations regarding oneself and others?

While it can be argued that there shouldn’t be any other implication associated with such preference/choices, one can not simply wish them away as it is more often than not linked to certain social realities.

BL as well as gei comi are genres of fiction, telling tales of male androphilia – these are reproductions of imagination entwined with realities, reflecting desires, fantasies and biases plenty.

Conflation

I disagree that uke/seme/riba archetypes are conflated “casually” with bottom/top/verse in narratives and discussions around them. There is a difference that P’AbsoluteBL probably isn’t aware of:

Uke is the bottom in a ship. A character could be uke in a ship, seme or riba in another. For a character to be a ‘bottom’, he has to be sou uke or total/complete uke. It means no matter who he is paired with he will always be the uke.

Alternatively, a sou uke is a character that makes all other characters become seme for him and go after him.

Similarly, a character could be called ‘top’ when that character is a sou seme or total/complete seme. Unless a character is established as a sou seme or sou uke in the narrative, there is always a possibility that those characters are verse. While most BL involves set ships, it is not rare to find characters who are uke in one relationship becoming seme or riba in another. Sometimes, after a time skip, transmigration, reincarnation, etc. BL characters end up switching within a ship.

In Live Action

While there is plenty of riba ships in other BL media, live action has had very few.

These couples were riba in the novel:

Bai Luoyin and Gu Hai – Addicted – The censorship struck right after the couple had their first coitus interfemoris (based on the chronology in the novel).

Lu Feng and Cheng Yichen - A Round Trip to Love

Lan Yu and Chen Handong - Lan Yu

Dom/sub

While the P’AbsoluteBL is allowed to do whatever, I don’t think correlating dom/sub with seme/uke is a good idea in the context of BL because:

BL has a separate speculative fiction subgenre called dom-sub-verse (Dom/Subユニバース) which have its own conventions. It is one of the many subgenres that took inspiration from omegaverse and has grown parallel to it. It takes dominance and submission from the kink community and explores them as innate/biological traits.

It involves characters who are identified as Dom(ドム), Sub(サブ), Switch(スウィッチ), and Usual/Normal/Neutral(ユージュアル/ノーマル/ニュートラル). Along with the standard elements of BDSM in fiction such as safeword, sub space, sub drop and aftercare, it also involves additional elements such as kneel(ニール), glare(グレア) and collar (カラー). There are commands コマンド (命令) that Dom gives to Sub. Sometimes elements borrowed from omegaverse such as heats/ruts, suppressants and professional Dom also appear in this sub-genre.

Dom×Sub ship: Dom is the seme & Sub is the uke.

eg. Hizamazuite Ai Wo Tou 『跪いて愛を問う』 & Rhetoric 『レトリック』 by 山田ノノノ Mijuku Na Boku Ha Shihai Wo Kou 『未熟な僕は支配を乞う 1』 by音海ちさ

Sub×Dom ship: Sub is the seme & Dom is the uke.

Jouzu Ni Dekita Ne Watasesan 『上手にできたね、渡瀬さん』 by 野萩あき Shoshinsha Dom Ha Hameraretai 『初心者Domはハメられたい』 by やんちゃ Gohoubi Ni Kubiwa Wo Kudasai (ご褒美に首輪をください) by Naruse Kano

Dom×Switch ship: Dom is the seme & Switch is the uke.

Sono Meirei De Ore Wo Abaite 『その命令で俺を暴いて』 by 小夏うみれ愛の声で暴いて by 泉門くきいでおすわりしてみせて by 由元千子

Switch×Switch ship: One of the switches is the seme and the other the uke.

強情なSwitchの躾け方 by ことぶき

Dom×Dom ship: One of the dom is the seme and the other the uke.

コマンドミー、プリーズ by 町田とまとサディスティックに暴かれたい by 星崎レオ (uke is a Dom, seme’s identity is not made clear) Kyousei Switch 『強制Switch』 by 彩田あまた

Like most BL genres, it is yet to make its way into live-action BL.

There are plenty of BDSM themed BL as well as training (調教) style BL where seme/riba/uke can be switch or sub or dom.

Problematizing the Problem

Hence, the argument that conflation of seme/uke with top/bottom is “a PROBLEM” is ironic. The main reason given for that argument is that “het consumers [would] conflate (egregiously & incorrectly) top with male/masculine and bottom with female/feminine.” Here are some things that I think is relevant to think about that:

Why would ‘het people’ or any people for that matter think in terms of male-female / masculine-feminine binaries? Do they think in those binaries only and not other binaries such as wen(文)-wu(武)? Why think in binaries and dichotomies at all? Don’t they not think in terms of multiplicity of genders/gender expressions such as various kinds of masculinities and femininities) based off on their local contexts?

Do queer people not make such/similar conflations? (Hint: they do.)

Is it a problem? While this seems to be the popular notion, plenty of scholars from across the globe has dismantled it.

What exactly do P’AbsoluteBL think ‘het people’ conflate riba characters with? Feminine-feminine? Masculine-masculine? Neither? Both? Something else?

There are different conceptions of masculinities within a culture which get reflected in cultural goods, including BL, from there. Here are some really old depictions:

Qing dynasty Chinese Water and Land Ritual painting depicting a divine civil official and thunder god in military regalia. [Wen - wu]

Paintings of Padmapani and Vajrapani on either side of the Buddha, from cave 1 of the Ajanta Caves.

Moreover, if the problem is hinging on a particular understanding of seme/uke: the one in which seme is not feminine or uke is not masculine enough. If latter is the issue, it can be fixed by sticking to BL media with otokomae uke or macho uke. If former is the issue, there’s more than enough works with maiden seme and josou seme. If one is yet to encounter any such works, one is not looking far enough.

Masculinities in BL

Here are three central characters from Finder series embodies different types of masculinities – a lot of it is presentation, physical attributes, age, power and social standing. Akihito is a young and vivacious uke who happens to be short and sinewy. Asami Ryuichi is a supadari seme: a guy who is tall, well educated, high earning, with good looks. In addition, he cooks and cleans and cares when he wants to. Fei Long is tall, beautiful and cunning and can be regarded as a riba character. But can any of these characters considered not masculine by regular standards? Isn’t Akihito masculine enough for his age? And if we are to compare Asami, we are sure to find him lacking but then give him time to grow. They have a dozen years between them. Moreover, can average men stand comparison with a super darling? But then in the grand setup of patriarchy, isn’t power concentrated in the hands of the older men who dominates even the super darlings, both in real world and fictional ones.

Ayase Yukiya & Kanou Somuku from No Money

Consider the case of Ayase, would you call him a “feminine” uke? Probably yes. He is small in stature - petite and cute. He is definitely very small in comparison to his seme Kanou. They probably have one of the most exaggerated size differences and an extreme case of the traditional pairing.

The traditional pairing comes from the customary practice of androphilia in pre-modern Japan. It involves relationship between a wakashu and a nenja or from the tradition of nanshoku. The former is not considered a man by the period’s standards and is considered a third gender by some scholars. The latter is considered as a mentor and lover for the former. While the traditional faded with ‘modernization’, tanbi literary movement (among others) kept alive remnants of it through the writings of the likes of Yukio Mishima.

Note that the youth on the left is wearing a kimono whose style (furisode) and color was considered appropriate for adolescents of both sexes but not adult men, which along with the partially shaved pate denotes the boy's wakashū age status while the exposed bare feet indicates the purely sexual demeanor.

The traditional pairing has clearly inspired Japanese mangaka both BL artists and others. Look at the wakashu in customary androgynous clothing, younger, fairer and even smaller than the nenja, with relatively less experience being embraced by nenja who is in customary male clothing.

Check out more shunga about nanshoku to see visual ancestor of “yaoi”. The visual legacy continued with the likes of Go Mishima. The queers did it first.

From the series "Mishima Go Book of Young Man" - Japan - 1972 (Showa 47)

Ayase in No Money fits into the wakashu ideal. Moreover, the creators of this manga explicitly differentiated between feminine uke with wakashu uke by juxtaposing Ayase with Someya who embodies traditional femininity.

Someya and Honda from Henshin Dekinai

Putting it into perspective, it is noticeable that many a BL involves similar pairing. A lot of criticism BL faces is when it sticks to nanshoku dynamics. Interestingly, critics who can’t imagine genders beyond masculine and feminine, fail to tell apart “feminine” characteristics from wakashu characteristics. But there is no dearth of such dynamics getting subverted in numerous ways in BL:

ship with younger, lower class, petite, androgynous or any combination of customary wakashu characteristics in seme/riba.

ship with all parties being of similar age, class, physical attributes, experience, etc.

Emancipation

Shouldn’t typical uke archetype be seen as an example of subversion of the main character masculinity that dominates media landscape? Shouldn’t they be exalted for being what they are? Uke archetype that allows all genders to project onto and gain pleasure from, is that any less than a marvel in itself?

Pursuer & Pursued

In order to analyses if there is a shift in seme-uke dynamic, the P’AbsoluteBL employs the following to categories who is active:

who is pursuing whom

who makes the first call in terms of declarations and physical touch

who seems to be more in charge of the relationship

In BL, these are never reserved for seme/uke/riba. Who takes on which role depends on the narrative. BL rarely have fixed pursuer-pursued. All parties involved in a ship take on active role in different circumstances.

Take, for example, the original edition of Ossan’s Love, Hasegawa Yukiya employs certain indirect tactics to pursuing Soichi Haruta such as cooking, cleaning and caring for him. (These are tasks that seme/riba/uke usually engage in lighter BLs to gain and retain the attention/affection of the one they are pursuing.) Hasegawa also engages in activities they do together as a means to grow closer. Once he learns of his love rival, he switches up the tactic. He pursues more directly and aggressively. Soichi rejects him. He withdraws and returns to the original tactic but without attempts to grow closer. Soichi feels the loss and tries to get close to Hasegawa but is brushed off. He does not back down. Instead, he takes on a more aggressive route of pursuit - making amends and chasing after Hasegawa.

What P’AbsoluteBL implies with “I think BLIHID’s main couple has a REALLY weak seme/uke dynamic from the get go” is made abundantly clear in with “ShiLei does a lot of active pursuit, also he’s very self actualized.” Here, using pursuer/pursued would have sufficed. Instead, P’AbsoluteBL chose to disappropriate established terms ‘seme/uke’ and imbibed them with implications of “active pursuit” as well as “self-actualization” [regarding queer identity] that seme/uke/riba doesn’t carry originally. Most of it based on biases built on equating all BL to one type of BL: the one with traditional pairing that follows royal road progression.

What P’AbsoluteBL actively avoids discussing is that Beloved in House is basically following the super popular ‘domineering president’ plot based on a BG romance.

Live Action Struggles

P’AbsoluteBL mentions an imagined ‘struggles around seme/uke’ in live-action BL. I think the actual issue plaguing live action BL is the struggle to balance business and other interests while being able to do justice to the diversity within BL as a media genre.

source: (chil-chil.net)

In the chart:

ほのぼの – heartwarming – Example: Restart After Come Back Home

コメディ – comedy – Cherry Magic

ダーク – dark – Sing in Love

シリアス – serious – Cornered Mouse Dream of Cheese

キュン – exciting (kyun) – Mr. Unlucky Has No Choice but to Kiss

Japan has trouble in diversifying its live-action in terms of sub-genres and treatment/mood. Even Thailand, despite the amount it produces have trouble offering variety. Riba couple, maiden seme, yarachin characters, yandere X yandere ship, etc. are either very rare or non-existent in live action BL. Moreover, live action BL is seldom explicit and are mostly in the speculative territory with seme/uke/riba dynamics, making it all the harder to diversify.

Tbh, what fascinated me the most is the “I kind of automatically cringed” part of the question. I would love to know what brought about that reaction. I am sure that it would help shed some light on discourse surrounding BL in general.

Post #2: Blushing Maiden Trope & Seme/Uke

Discussion (intended and in italics) between an anon, @heretherebedork & P’AbsoluteBL on actions and reactions during physical relationships.

The discussion centers around “the character placed into the stereotypically feminine role” being repulsed/reluctant/hesitant when it comes to physical relationships. It is directly attributed to “purity culture in BLs”.

BL have a complicated relationship with “purity” or being “clean”. Tanbi roots of BL hinged on sexuality and obsession with beauty to the point of decadence. Shonen ai (original meaning) works also had characters who are usually promiscuous for one reason or the other, never forming very deep relationship (at least not enough to stick to monogamous unions for long) yet endlessly entangled with other characters, often baffling non-queer characters in those works.

from Song of the Wind and Trees

[Inviting readers to hazard a guess: who is the seme and who is the uke. Answer at the end of this post.]

But how explicit the depiction of physical relationships has varied in BL with time and space. Japanese BL with the self-published BL (aniparo / yaoi – original meaning) boom saw very explicit depictions side by side with the commercial BL which have barely any explicit content or those which take a closed-door approach. Now Japanese BL have a wide range in terms of explicit content and have grown to incorporate elements from other genres including gei comi. Korean BL is similarly doing well. It is not uncommon to have chapters or parts of chapter in manhwa and novels dedicated to the celebration of physical relationships. Thai BL also have no dearth of explicit content, especially in web publishing. Chinese BL in its early days had lots of explicit content, especially in self-publishing. But as censors started taking notice and cracking down, authors and platforms clamped down. Most BL were purged of any & all explicit content. Some of it migrated to Taiwanese platforms, AO3 & other foreign hosts. Now all danmei published is “pure love” devoid of even allusion to depiction of any physical relationship beyond above neck action.

When it comes to BL live action, things are a little different. In Japan and to an extend abroad, there has always been overlap between audience of BL and audience of Japanese GVs and pink eiga. Moreover, early live-action Japanese BL was probably aimed exclusively at hardcore BL fans. They were way more explicit on average and did not always involve physical relationship between the main ship. Same seems true about early live-action Chinese BL. A Round Trip to Love Part 2 (2016) even had bondage and SM scenes which wasn’t there in the novel; but then it didn’t have the hard-earned happy ending the novel had either. But now, even dangai with “socialist brotherhood” (社会主义兄弟情) can’t be aired. Meanwhile, Japan’s average BL today lacks much explicit content. This isn’t to say that it doesn’t drop an occasional Sei no Gekiyaku (2020) once in a blue moon. Here are my speculations to why more of those doesn’t get made.

There is another reason for “purity culture” in BL.

Sathaporn Panichraksapong, an MD of GMMTV, a major producer of BL series, claimed that audience members who are mainly heterosexual women look for romantic relationships among the characters rather than sexual relationships.

We know that our audience are [sic] women. Women want to see only two boys having romantic moments together. They don't want to see sex. Sexual relationships in BL are for a gay audience. That's why in SOTUS the Series we have only two kissing scenes. With only these, audiences were already screaming. This is enough for them. (Interview with Sathaporn, GMMTV, 10 Aug. 2017)

Jirattikorn, Amporn. "Heterosexual Reading vs. Queering Thai Boys' Love Dramas among Chinese and Filipino Audiences." (2023).

As Jirattikorn goes on to highlight, this [wrong] perception about the audience (“women”) have changed ever since.

While early BL series tend to portray pure love without showing many sexual relationships, later BL series started to show more sex scenes between the two male lead characters.

Jirattikorn (2023)

“It’s always the character being pursued, who is typically in his first relationship, who Never Thinks Of Sex. They’re often very sweet and innocent and wide-eyed.”

While heretherebedork attributes it to “purity culture”, it can be argued that this has to do with what audience wanted:

I like the way they portray love in Thai BL. It is a kind of puppy love. BL of other nations, like Chinese BL, are darker. In Thai BL, two male characters often start off friends, then develop feelings for each other. It is very light, very sweet. (Krissy, f, 27, Philippines)

Jirattikorn (2023)

and what media houses thought they wanted, as evidenced by Jirattikorn’s interviews with BL fans. This is not to dismiss struggles with purity culture which is often a very slow part of decolonialization.

P’AbsoluteBL goes further to the argument that “purity” is associated with seme/uke dynamics in BL and maps it to typical het pairing (BG):

The stronger the seme/uke dynamic (the more heterosexually dysmorphic and less actually gay) the more likely this trope will manifest. Simply put: the man (because he is hooah a MANLY MAN DUDE) wants sex but the woman (delicate pure flower of cleanliness and joy) does not. And if she does want it she is a DIRTY, worthless, whore - so she MUST protest sex (GASP) at every single turn. (Seme is acting the male and uke the female in these kinds of narratives.) *please sense my sarcasm dumb interwebs, mm’kay?*

It’s true that the argument seems persuasive but is it right? Probably not. Seme, uke and riba characters can be divided into strong/weak categories based on their characterization - with the strong ones being those who pursue, take initiative, most likely to initiate intimacy at least for their first time, etc. and weak ones being those at the receiving end of pursuits and initiatives. Pairing a strong one with a weak one is probably more traditional –

strong riba x weak riba like in Addicted (at least before time skip)

strong seme x weak uke like in Old Fashioned Cupcake

weak seme x strong uke like in Saezurutori Wa Habatakanai (at least before time skip; pavam Doumeki)

compared to those with both parties being strong (which leads to delectable friction and sparks flying when done right) or both being weak (which leads to audience wondering: will either of them do something? No? Very well!).

BL’s sex negativity

Seme gets overwhelmed by his lust for uke, acts aggressively and has to be shut down or warned off.

Not only seme, uke and riba characters does this too. P’AbsoluteBL attributes “getting overwhelmed by lust” and “acting aggressively” to seme when it can be attributed to both uke (襲い受け) and riba as well. Other than acting aggressively, characters may employ seduction (eg. Xia Shang Zhou in You Are Mine (2023) - tried and failed & Charlie in Pit Babe (2023) - successful) and/or manipulation (Color Recipe by Harada).

Seme won’t take no for an answer because his needs are too great and his needs take precedence (he’s “the man” after all) and the uke is just TOO CUTE how could anyone resist? (After all the seme is only gay for this one guy because he is so cute. Everything, therefor, is the uke and his cutenesses’ fault.)

Moreover, P’AbsoluteBL is probably not aware of kawai seme who employ their cuteness to get uke to lower the guard and to seduce. Cuteness is clearly not a uke prerogative.

Like the sailor-costume wearing seme on the cover, cuteness is sometimes invoked through conventionally women’s clothing, cosplaying (maid, sailor, nurse), etc.

If the seme makes the choice to have sex for the uke, then the uke is not at fault and is still technically innocent. Only if an uke wants it, is he actually impure (or actually gay). In H4 when they both comfort and sex shame the bottom after the rape sequence, this is the narrative’s mentality. (A man who does not want sex is assumed to be able to fight another man off.) Oh and ALSO, the seme must read the uke’s mind and know what the uke really wants.

I don’t even know what went into this argument. There is an entire subgenre: 調教 BL (training / conditioning) that is focused on pleasure training. If a character (seme/uke/riba) wants sex in a narrative, it usually only means that their partner is on the right track. Moreover, when a character wants, actively seeks and are denied intimacy for manipulation reasons, then their partner is made out to be cruel (either 鬼畜 or ゲス・クズ).

In other words, if the uke is interested in sex, he’s made impure by this interest. Sex of any kind is an act of desperation and indicates lack of control and therefor diminishes both parties but particularly the uke, therefor the uke shouldn’t have to take responsibility of wanting sex, so the decision must be made by the seme for both of them. He is being a “good seme” by doing this. The uke, therefore MUST appear reluctant to have sex, or he is not a good/pure/virtuous person.

Honestly, I haven’t come across BL which gives off this kind of message. However, two-faced scummy characters (seme/uke/riba) get to employ hypocrisy, which includes slut-shaming, to humiliate characters they are shipped with but then such narratives are built to illicit hatred (for scummy characters) and angst and often punished with:

(a) unhappy ending for the couple

(b) breaking up of the ship

(d) switching within ship – uke turns into riba/seme or seme turns into riba/uke – or shift in power dynamics (rich character becomes relatively poorer, junior from school becomes senior/superior in workplace).

A lot of readers find such dramatic plots satisfying and hence it is a successful subgenre.

Can you guess the seme in these 20 BL manga? Try this quiz on renta.

Post #3: How do they determine who will be archetype seme/uke?

Discussion regarding seme/uke determination in BL: @elynn0723 & P'AbsoluteBL (intended and in italics).

I think your confusion is partly nested in the fact that seme/uke is not about who fucks who, not really. Certainly not anymore. Seme/uke are narrative archetypes not physical acts.

Disappropritation. Discussed above.

I should say for the record that personality is NOT sexual preference.

P’AbsoluteBL goes onto give examples (all of which are fictionalized in different genres – GB, BL, etc.) but probably due to being limited by lack of exposure, goes onto ask, “How weird that anyone would think queers do this.” Queers do this. If one is willing to look beyond LGBTQIA+ form of queerness (which is born and brought up in America), one can see queer possibilities. For example, Kothi-Panthi queerness in India/South Asia. It is probably a good idea to pay attention to it when generalizing queerness given how big India/South Asia’s (queer) population is. There are very many similar forms of queerness in other parts of Global South. In many cultures, sexuality doesn’t inform identity but sexual preference does.

[ Aside: Kothi-Panthi model of queerness

This model doesn’t work for whole of India – region (India is so big and heavily populated - different sexual cultures and practices); linguistics (different terms in different region, same terms different meanings in different region, decline of Farsi (used in queer spaces in Delhi) and other queer argot/cant and their replacement with American English internet slang); class & caste (LGBTQIA+ being self-identification of mostly urban/rurban, upper class, English educated v/self- identification common among the sex workers, working class and other lower classes in rural as well as urban spaces who are excluded from consumerist queerness);

NGOfication of queer movement & action; global queering and neoliberal take over leading to americanization –– intermixing & “gay” (and other terms) being used differently by different classes.]

How do they determine who will be archetype seme/uke?

P’AbsoluteBL points to narrative roles - who is “after” the relationship more, and then goes onto claim “the heroine is the main character, the love interest is her love interest. It’s decided for them because it’s a romance novel.” I don’t know if this helps explaining either seme/uke/riba archetypes in BL or pursued/pursuer. Aren’t there romances where hero pursues heroine and the other way around? Aren’t there romances where both party pursue each other?

Even if we assume that androphilic female audience is projecting the sexual mores & expectations imposed on them onto male characters, then by the very act aren’t they subverting those expectations.

How do they determine who tops?

P’AbsoluteBL provides the following schema:

seme = active pursuer

since active pursuer is “the male role”

he should do the penetrating

which has to be done

P’AbsoluteBL also gives a term for this association: heterosexual dysmorphia - "the idea that any couple must fit into predetermined binary gender roles". This is probably coming from a place of ignorance since the example given is confined to musings about sexism concerning the upper class in Global North. Also, at least in the ambit of Kothi-Panthi sexuality, fitting into masculine top-feminine bottom dynamic doesn’t place them into any predetermined binary gender roles. Instead, it only places them in the fluid space of multi-genders: can/are seamlessly float(ing) between being kinnar/hijra/ali and being “cis-men”.

If one is to ask the question: “Which one of you is The Girl?” to a kothi-panthi couple, the kothi would tell you without hesitation: “I am The Girl.” Might even asked you in turn, “Couldn’t you tell?”

Kothi [is the word used by] effeminate men who desire to be penetrated by "real" men whom they call ‘panthi’.

Queer Movements by Paromita Chakravarti & Aniruddha Dutta

Seme/uke/riba archetypes are imbibed with different traits and different spin on personalities that a seasoned BL sommelier might be able to spot easily but would confuse those who are less familiar with all that the genre has to offer. The following excerpt from an analysis by @ranchthoughts reflects the most popular idea about seme/uke dynamics.

Most BL shows can be read through a lens of seme/uke dynamics, which originated in yaoi. The seme is the “pursuer” character and the uke is the “pursued”. There are certain physical (height, skin colour, etc.), social (age, wealth, social capital, etc.), and personality (active vs. passive, extroverted vs. introverted, flirtier vs. shyer) markers which are typically associated with either the seme or the uke. For example, semes tend to be taller, wealthier, older, flirtier, tanner, more active, and have a higher social status, while ukes tend to be shorter, poorer, younger, shyer, paler, and have a lower social status. “Seme” and “uke” roles are also sometimes conflated with masculinity and femininity (semes are “masculine” and ukes are “feminine”) and sexual preferences (semes are dominant and tops and ukes are submissive and bottoms). There are also tropes associated with either the seme or the uke, like ukes typically give cheek kisses and semes forehead kisses. Thus, things like height, age, wealth, personality, presumed sexual preference, and the role they take in tropes can index the character’s status as a seme or a uke, and in turn the character’s identity as a seme or uke in the narrative (pursuer vs. pursued) indexes a character’s personality, sexual preferences, etc., however unrealistic and simplistic that is in real life. In a BL, we would expect the seme (pursuer) and uke (pursued) characters to exhibit most, if not all, of the associated seme or uke traits and roles in tropes, though this is not always true (and some BLs have little to no seme/uke dynamics at all).

There are two interesting things about such an understanding of seme/uke dynamics:

It closely resembles nenja/wakashu dynamics (and its cousins) in the customary and mostly age-stratified androphilia in pre-modern Japan.

Live action BL, at least the ones that were current and popular, stuck mainly to a single type of dynamic: pairing of one seme of a particular kind (スパダリ – super darling) with one uke of a particular kind (ヘタレ – milquetoast). There are barely any riba couple. It is painting picture of BL in monochromes. So much so that Bad Buddy and My School President were seen as some path breaking feat and a break away from “yaoi” tropes by live action audience, rather than seeing them having just another (or less familiar) set of yaoi / BL tropes.

What P’AbsoluteBL identifies as “heterosexual dysmorphia” in “yaoi” is basically what BL inherited from Japan’s pre-modern androphilia including “femininity” in uke from chiago, wakashu and androgynous Kabuki actors and (hyper)masculinity in seme from nenja and others who enacted “the male role”. BL did not passively receive any of these. And for moe, artists and audience alike, subverted it all.

This is true for all tropes that are attributed to seme/uke.

Height difference – Earliest BLs had petite bishonen pairings. Yaoi introduced height differences – all of them: tall seme x short uke short seme x tall uke (this is probably the most sexualized height difference) tall seme x tall uke (with little to no difference) both/all short riba CP/ship both/all tall riba CP/ship tall riba x short riba short riba x tall riba

Cuteness – Used to establish how irresistible a character (seme/uke/riba) is irrespective of their attitudes and behavior are. Oft part of seme’s seduction tactic, especially when uke has a weakness for cute things. Even when cuteness is not one of the seme’s attributes, it is invoked either actively by serving kawai in speech or through actions including cosplay; or passively like in the following example where a typical super darling seme, Asami Ryuichi from Finder unintentionally triggers moe in Takaba Akihito (his uke) by cuddling a baby.

Uke’s cuteness is exploited to establish a sou uke (an uke every other character turns seme for) or subvert the same like in No Money where one of the epitomes of bishonen cuteness, Ayase (uke), who manages to enthrall others however isn’t a sou uke as one might expect and thus subverts the wakashu trope. Moreover, Kanou (seme) wasn’t initially drawn to Ayase due to his cuteness but due to Ayase’s kindness that lifted him out of the abyss of despair, when Kanou was at his weakest.

3. Bulk – BL have main characters (seme/uke/riba) with varying bulk and body types. There is far less diversity when it comes to Live Action BL.

4. Blushing maiden/virginal innocent trope – applies to all sorts of BL characters.

Edit: Conclusion

1. Surprisingly, ethnocentrism and loud echo of colonial masculinity in particular seem to permeate the discourse surrounding BL.

2. I really wish live action BL would have as much diversity as other BL media. Why is it so slow to diversify? Is it because of business interests? Is sticking to super darling X milquetoast pairing with royal road progression a sensible business decision? Or is sexism promoting wrong impressions of what audience want?

3. How come the Japanese terms "seme" & "uke" are used a lot but not "riba"? Where did live action BL audience learn these terms?

***

Yaoi = [how P'AbsoluteBL uses it] synonym for ボーイズラブ (boys love) manga.

= [popular use in anglophone BL manga fandom] BL manga with explicit content; as opposed to shonen ai.

= [original meaning] derivative works, which were mostly plot-what-plot type, that are self-published (doujinshi)

Answer to a question posted above: Gilbert Cocteau – uke in Song of the Wind and Trees

Below is the seme: Serge Battour

from Song of the Wind and Trees

Earliest BL manga had very pretty seme/uke/riba characters (if we are to call them so) and were not too preoccupied with "manliness" or a single type of "masculinity". But, they were surely obsessed with bishonen.

[1] 互攻 is also used to indicate POV switching between gong and shou in fiction.

[2] 纯爱 is also used to indicates asexual androphilia.

CP/pairing - involves 2 characters. Ship - involves 2 or more characters.

Inviting @waitmyturtles and @lurkingshan to share your thoughts if any (since I have noticed you guys use the terms "seme" & "uke" as well). Hope you guys don't mind the mention.

#japanese bl #boys love #bl history #thai bl #chinese bl #danmei #bl trivia #bl tropes #seme/uke #seme #uke #riba #korean bl #taiwanese bl

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redbleedingrose · 11 months

Text

Pre-Girl Dad!Cassian Headcanons

A/N: uhum.... since it was asked after traditions what it would look like for Cassian to have a baby, I decided to write girl dad Cassian bc tbh I think that all the ACOTAR men will only be girl dads. And Cass is the perfect girl dad. So here we are... on my bday... or 54 minutes after my bday writing this for you @princess-tulip-writes and @kennedy-brooke

Okay, let’s be so for real. Cassian and Eris Vanserra are the BEST girl dads, though I think that all that ACOTAR males would be amazing girl dads. I have had multiple convos with Tilly and August about this and I stand firm in my belief. Lets talk about girl dad!Cass

I am gonna start with pre-babe

We should probably about Cassian with his pregnant mate!

He is the best mate... the best husband... the best partner to his mate. He takes such good care of you frl.

He rubs you back while you get morning sickness every morning, holding your hair back. He makes sure to oil it for you and braid it so that it stays out of your face and is growing strong, as fae females tend to lose lots of their hair during pregnancy and post-partum.

Cassian also is so supportive of your cravings. He will even try them with you, just to see how they taste. You have craved things like peanut butter with pickles, chicken with salsa, watermelon and salt, vanilla ice cream with sour cream and onion chips. He will try them all with you and rate them on a scale on 0-10, and he is always willing to get whatever you are craving at any time of night. You just need to nudge him and he is shooting up, fully awake and ready to follow your every command. (poor male is usually such a deep sleeper, but every since your pregnancy, he sleeps so light)

He loves talking to your belly. His large calloused hands always run up and down your belly as he whispers sweet nothings to your babe that he is 100% sure is a girl. He tells her all the things he will teach her, how boys will have cooties and how she can never marry a male until she is at least 350 years old. He whispers to the babe how beautiful she is, even though he has never seen her, and how beautiful her mother is.

He loves poking your belly, just to see that tiny foot kick or hand punch back out at him. He knows your babe will be a fighter, just like him. He especially loves to kiss your belly while scolding the babe for kicking you in the bladder and nearly making you piss your pants.

When you are labouring, he stays by your side, letting you nearly crush his hand with the tight grip. He strokes your hair back when you cry out, nearly crying with you for the pain that you are experiencing. He wants to take all the pain that you are in and steal it away for him to experience, and him alone. But he knows that this is your battle, and the only thing he can do is support you in the ways that you want him to. So, he hand feeds you ice chips and kisses your sweaty forehead. He massages your back while you squat to relieve the pressure in your pelvis, and he murmurs sweet nothings of how perfect you are, how wonderful of a mother you already are, how stunning you look even though you feel like you have just been dragged through the mud, how much he loves you, how thankful he is to have you as a mate, as a wife, as a lover, and as a best friend.

He sobs the minute you give birth to your beautiful baby girl. He brings her up to your chest so she can rest and suckle on you in her first moments of life, and he commits that moment into his memory forever. He will never forget that feeling of the awe that his perfect mate and him have created something so precious, so innocent, so loved.

He knows he will spend the rest of his long life protecting and loving your beautiful daughter, Amelia, just as he vowed to you on the night of your mating ceremony.

General taglist: @nyotamalfoy @brekkershadowsinger @kennedy-brooke @fieldofdaisiies @princess-tulip-main

Masterlist

#cassian x fem!reader #cassian x reader #cassian headcanons #cassian acotar #girl dad!cassian #girl dad!Cass #girl dad cassian #general cassian #bat boys #bat boys x reader #cassian #cass acotar #pre-girl dad!Cassian #Pre girl dad Cassian #pregnancy #cassian and amelia #cass and amy

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merakiui · 9 months

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Mer eggs anon here and Mera-

I just had to bring the idea to you that one fool proof way to excite the merboys is pulling their ties/scarves

Be it flustering them unexpectedly, pulling them to your height for a threat or whatever They would simply melt for it

I can practically hear Floyd going "Oooo do that more~" if you pull him down and angrily scold him (I feel like depending on his mood but also it feels like a 9 times out of 10 he would perk up from a bad mood cause its interesting)

And I feel like Jade would enjoy it too- just smug boy teasing back

Every version of Azul would fucking melt like butter if you pulled him down like that and I refuse to believe differently

Also hiding your faces behind a hat for a kiss? I EAT THAT SHIT UP

Fun fact about your beloved egg man

I am a sucker for people in suits- Women, Men, NBs and the ones who are neither

Signing off

Mer Eggs Anon

OMG YES AAAAAAAAA I'm also so weak for tugging on the ties/scarves!!!! Imagine if it's in omegaverse as well... orz small omega darling who drags the alpha tweels down to their height and they let you do it because ooooo you're so cute when you're demanding and taking control!!! >0< omg and Azul becoming flustered... yes yes!!! He absolutely tries to remain composed, but then you're hiding him and yourself behind his fedora while you kiss him and it's over for Azul!!! He explodes. <3

I like to think Jade does this the most because he likes being coy and teasing you. Floyd will just kiss you outright; he's huge on PDA. Azul's somewhere in between. He wants everyone to know you're his, but he also has a classy image to uphold and he doesn't want to overdo it. If he's feeling it, he definitely takes you aside and kisses you behind his hat hehe. Although it's a different story if he's jealous. He's far more bold then.

And suits!!!!! Aaaaa suits my beloved!!! You have wonderful taste, mer eggs!! Suits are so pretty and handsome! Have you seen the beautiful suits the twst cast wear for the Disney 100 Years merchandise!!!! >v< it's very lovely hehe!!

#twisted chit chat #mer eggs anon #also i would like to present to you: silencing the octavinelle trio with a kiss :D

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my-rose-tinted-glasses · 5 months

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Non BL Fan watches Only Friends - Part II (Part I)

Ok. So it turns out that although I had to convince them to watch this show and share some thoughts with me, Neely really committed to the bit and is now enjoying the writing part more than the show. When I first talked to them about this, they said it would take 2/3 weeks to watch all of it. Turns out they watched 9 episodes in 3 days. And they already finish the show by the time this gets posted. So the final part of this will come soon.

So, they wrote a lot about episodes 5 - 9. And I haven't really been able to catch up to them so this time I won't be adding to it. Also, this is gonna be a bit long so if you want more general view of their thoughts on the show so far, skip to the end, to the conclusion. They separated it more or less by character so I'll add titles so it gets easier to read.

Neely's thoughts episodes 5 through 9 Just quick notes first:

It's creepy to me that Top's Halloween costume is a us army uniform 😬 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

I'm glad Chueam had a little bit more presence, even if just as supporting act.

I’m annoyed at this thing of framing Ray as taking Mew on "a bad path" as if Mew has no agency. Mew just spent ages teasing Top with no sex and in that relationship he had all the agency, and felt able to put his boundaries, but now he can't refuse alcohol and drugs? Ofc it's reactive to what happened, but so is Ray's usage and nobody seems to give him the same credit or patience. That said, Ray is being a lil bitch in his pursuit of Mew and how he reverted into treating Sand with entitlement.

Now longer:

Boston

Boston just keeps one uping himself, at this point he's just going for asshole so at least he's not pretending, and to me, he's on a league of his own; the "girl"boss, gatekeep, gaslight self-made villain of the series. But also, what I realise has been paining me in this portrayal is - and I think this happens in other media with so-called 'sluts' - that there's a difference between being a slut and the very reality of sex addiction as an illness. And media often does this muddled mix of both, where it's not really an addiction in how they show it because often the reality of that is too much to be representing on your average TV, but it's also not being a slut. I just wanna say: sluts are happy most times. Fucking is nice, it's not always a speed-train to self-destruction, it can be about curiosity and playfulness and desire. It can be intimate and caring and genuine, even if it's a one-night stand. Sluts don't so often feel remorse about fucking people, because they are not suddenly controlled by some demonic entity of lust that cannot reject fucking even if it blows away all of their life and surroundings; sluts actively choose to fuck because they want to fuck. AND 7/10 TIMES IT IS NICE! Sluts also are not always ready and willing for actions with anyone - they have tastes and standards and preferences like most people. Boston has rejected 0 people in this show until now, and more often than not he has regretted that sex, or it has been ultimately destructive to him or people he loves, and now he fucks Chueam's brother and very clearly we start the next episode with a strong guilt scene.

I just wouldn't call Boston a slut, he's maybe a sex addict, or using sex for numbing the pain of repressing his sexuality to his dad - in a parallel to how Ray uses substances to numb his own family stuff. Sluts are some of the nicest people I've met, cause also to do that respectfully you do have to have good people skills and empathy, sex is about knowing how to relate so you do get good at...relating in general, even non-sexually. But yeah, my defense of ethical random sex for another time.

Of course there's lots of gay men, especially those who are repressed in some way (like Boston is with his dads campaign and having to hide his sexuality because of it) that end up using sex in this toxic way, as well as for validation, power, a sense of control, or just this detachment that ultimately comes from deep internalised homophobia and a sense of not deserving real intimacy and tenderness and love. Again, I think that's very real within gays - I'd say maybe my experience within western (- socialised) communities, that's often a pattern I notice more in older gays, like 40 on - generations who felt AIDS and criminalization and mortality in a way we cannot begin to imagine. So maybe within a Thai context it's more common that this repression and reaction to repression is still common in younger gay men? I don't know enough about this; I'm also mostly in quite progressive (gender-)queer communities in very out-there European queer centres, so maybe more trad western gays despite generation might feel this. Here, I wouldn't consider this group of friends trad-gays. But again, underlining all my own statements here is that cultural context possibly impacts this reading a lot and I won't pretend to know queer-thai pov.

But that's how I'm justifying this from my angle. Boston's not a slut, we gathered as a council in an emergency meeting and he has surpassed the max levels of regret and guilt and self-destruction we are allowed post-sex on a monthly basis. I'm positioning him as either sex addiction or using sex to numb pain, or both - an addiction grown from his family situation and hiding who he is. I think there's a nice parallel between his story and rays that I'm tentatively enjoying as an audience. Both are very real in the gay world too, I'd say.

Mew

I liked the confrontation scene where Mew played the track during sex. I also liked Mew's very 'meh' revenges - I think it suits the character, felt a bit too much ado about nothing, but while still being cruel. Like the burning of the paper but in a way it didn't actually trigger Top, so it's quite mean and malicious but with no real effect; and the same with Boston where he goes through all the effort of getting that fucking video to confront him and scare him and then just gives it to him, nothing happens, no effect. But still almost genuinely malicious. I think it suits the character, Mew is incredibly beige and non-eventful, a personification of a yawn but with tints of malevolence. Just think of the build up of virginity and the importance giving to losing it, and then uneventfully he looses it in a flash because Top emptied a baggy of coke. He's not concerned with actually doing or not doing a thing, he wields his full power as a character in withholding until he feels he can't withhold anymore, until he will gain more from giving that from holding back, this was proven to me even by how he was initially scared he'd lose Top for being inexperienced at sex, and when he decides to do it, he calls Boston and directly says "i feel like he'll get bored of me if I don't".

I imagine he will do the same with taking Top back; he's gonna extend it as much as he can. He weaponizes this type of power, having something someone else wants, and holding that against them: I think you can see this with Ray, with Top, now with Boston. So I liked his revenge gimmicks as a spectator, and I was glad it avoided us audiences witnessing him forcing Boston to come out; nobody needs to see that ever but let alone in the middle of this chaos, it would be too far on the unhinged scale for me.

Top

I'm still not buying Top. The way he is being acted just comes across so two-faced to me; and I don't know if that's purposefully trying to tell me something or if I have a wrong reading of the actors expressions and gaze.

But Top and his attempts at making amends... I get it, its meant to be sweet and caring towards Mew, but he's still holding on to this toxic controlling side most times. Like at the beginning of the post-break up he's trying to act all sad puppy for Mew but he's also still running away blaming everything for his own mistake instead of taking responsibility, including visiting Boston to blame him and yell at him.

When he comes to give Mew books as apology gift he says "I'm here cause I'm his boyfriend" and I'm like... 👀 Again I think some people might find that sweet but it gives me the ick, it gives me controlling partner, it gives me gaslighting, is toxic - you're broken up, acknowledge your mistake, acknowledge that the person ended things with you, and start making amends from that place.

It also didn't sit well with me that he cuddled Mew when Mew was passed out drunk. Yes cute nice caring to put him in bed and, ok, sure, pass a wet towel on his face and neck if you want, and I can even hold my side-eye and skip a breath at taking his trousers for comfort but.. this person told you almost halfway through a vomit to leave, don't stay and cuddle him as if you're still "boyfriends"; consent for that has been very clearly renounced.

I find him a bit coercive, in this way that is very common in romantic media troupes. Like I'm always on edge when he's on screen cause I feel he could be Joe Goldberg from YOU or something if shown from his perspective (sorry for another netflix comparison). But I'm open to being criticized on that because YOU did just taint my reading of every attempt at more traditional gentlemen romantic character on TV.

Sand

Poor Sand :(

Ok also unnecessary to seek revenge in that way and telling ray about the recording was oh so stupid. He did ultimately caused everyone's chaos without actually being direct about it and in a way that ended up implicating everyone; and he was our most wholesome character, so that didn't pass unnoticed to me but still...

Poor sand :(

I was happy with how quickly and undramatically and genuinely he apologized to Nick and supported Nick and assumed his mistake. Hands down the most genuine principled character in this series in both romantic love and friendship.

Ray

Personally I very very much feel Ray tho. Pursuing this infatuation that is nothing but your own projection after a person has repeatedly rejected you both with and without a partner, both 2 years ago and a few weeks/months ago. - instead of someone you have gotten to know and be intimate with and you're falling for reciprocally. Like been there, it feels stupid and embarrassing to watch, but also, I feel him. To desire this dream you've been feeding in the midst of years of trauma and addiction and feeling aimless in life, he had fed this so so much as if it was his only way out of the cycle, his only salvation, that of course it holds more influence still in him than the very real possibility of mutual love & care with Sand.

We could've had a mature poly maybe, if he is really so adamant of "I can have feelings for two people", but I don't really trust that in his state, and anyway if so, do it with respect. Instead he just drops Sand and goes back to treating him a bit like he is service, or guaranteed, or like he can buy him. The way Sand got into that bath tub after Ray broke his arm and he went to help him recover, baby nooo get out of there cmon.

Also on Ray.. I wanted to point out that while he was with Sand he became so much better as a person, less messy, less entitled, he opened up. But in no way did he stop drinking.

I'm not arguing that drinking that much is a good thing, it definitely isn't good and he should work towards calming it down. but he keeps being blamed for drinking alcohol, and like alcohol is destroying his life, but actually alcohol is more a consequence than a cause (as often is). He was drinking and drunk and doing drugs with Sand, but he was held, and he was relating, cared for, and he was turning out to be a genuinely nice person. Yes I think he could learn how to give better care back to Sand, even in their best moments, but I believe he was on a right path.

The chaos within him returns when the whole Mew infatuation is triggered again. And this makes sense - he drinks because he was always rejected by his family, importantly so, his mother. Mew is a continuation of that rejection, Mew is what his destructive depressive side keeps feeding on to tell himself he is worthless, that he doesn't deserve to be loved, that he will always be rejected. He has deep abandonment and rejection trauma, exacerbated but not started by alcohol. And sadly, he is surrounded by people in their own individualistic, predominantly romantic treadmills, that do not know how to be friends. His main issue is not getting intoxicated by alcohol, is being drowned in a fairly toxic "friend" group. And this is another example of why this show cannot write good relationships that aren't monogamous and romantic, and will always privilege those. Sand is the saving romance to what friendship in this universe will never be powerful enough to heal. And I find this overall message of 1-1 romantic love trumps everything, that is drilled into the essence of this show, deeply problematic. But more on that later.

Nick

Nick..........................

I don't know really. It's too much

It's so delusional poor guy.

It's too much for me to relate I think. I relate to the overwhelmingness of feeling, and I appreciate the representation of a deep feeler in this series and within queers or gays. Like he really said I will sob snort for this boy. But on the grand scheme of: wire-tapping Boston’s car, listening to the recording on what looked like noise canceling headphones, begging for him to stay, messaging and stalking the party... But also - giving Mew the info about AND the name of the person with Boston's sextape? He's so lost, no action he takes has a logic sense in any goal or narrative.

And I think it's cause he's lost between his good ethics and values and his obsessive infatuation for Boston. He's also generally too much of a puppet for everyone, he's lost and deranged for a boy who gave him not only crumbs but a tiny amount of crumbs about to get moldy. I found his fall into heartbreak and desperation so cringe to watch, and I felt really both sad and pity and shame for him - it was almost empathizing at one point cause we all have been played to some extent, but it went too far for me to be able to relate. But I feel for him, and also, I eye-roll for him in equal measure.

Chueam

I'm still disappointed with not getting proper Chueam content, and a story line that doesn't revolve around the messy gays. I would love if we had left the misogynist troupe of the fag-hag in the 90s and early-2000s (I know she's a lesbian, but still), and started treating women and giving them attention and stories, and defining them for themselves over being some balance or moral compass for the men. That would be much more queer, even if she was straight, than whatever this background lesbianism they went for, it's giving Willow in Buffy but set in G-A-Y Late (gay club in London, substitute for your own gay club reference).

Generally, to conclude, and sorry it's so long cause I don't feel like editing:

There's a few things that are becoming quite apparent to me, that I still would love and think it's possible to change a bit, but have little hopes it will.

1) This dude hates sex! (the creator). All the sex in this series has weird dynamics in it, it's like none of them can just fuck. Even the "slut" that is Boston, we are told he fucks around a lot and there's so many guys, but every instance of fucking that we actually are shown or are alluded to on screen, has resulted in something bad. There has been 0 genuine, non-weaponised, non-traumatic, instances of sex in this show, that weren't a part of, or even the start, of a train of terrible consecutive downhill events. Even Virgin Mew's first time is tainted by him using it as coin to get Top to stop doing coke, and also tainted by Top being dishonest just before when they just both said they'd be honest. Sex is a plot point to make everything go to shit in this universe. Let people fuck unharmed!

2) For a queer show, it's really going above and beyond to paint every aspect of queer life that isn't a straight-edge, monogamous, and orientated towards building family and career, as negative. We are meant to feel for poor delusional Nick, because he is trying to save Boston from himself and his proclivity for prostate with a promise of love and monogamy. Top himself is now beginning to assume this role in relation to Mew. We even get a random-ass parallel scene of Jennie the bar owner having a break up with her partner cause she doesn't wanna move in together. Like allow me to ask why we needed this? they were sweet and reliable as side-characters, there were numerous other plot points they could've picked to give them some spotlight, and to shine light on the tribulations of dating as trans, and trusting your partner as trans, which is the closest to a good point I can dig out of that scene. But they went for an explosive argument that equates not wanting to move in together and do a next step in normative romance, as being an issue, as being the only continuation, no other parallel paths to love can exist. There is no future in relationships in this universe that doesn't end in your typical nuclear family constellation. And this is a queer show!!!

3) For a show with "Friends" on the title, and presented in its first episode exposition as about this group of friends, it is very unconcerned with the idea of friendship.

There's a loose connection between some characters but rarely have I seen acts of true friendship. I think Sand and Nick is the best, potentially only, good representation of a healthy friendship with no extra manipulative dynamics, even with the unfortunate tainting with betrayal, the apology and resolution is rooted in a healthy and horizontal and unselfish friendship; Mew supporting Ray when he (almost?) took an overdose in the bath years before is one too; Sand consistently helping Ray could be considered that even though the intentions are muddled with romance; maybe Top now helping Mew we could make an effort to see it as an act of friendship because he told Chueam he wanted to help him even if they don't end up together. Of course Chueam too, but again she's the woman insert to be the balance to the slutty selfish men, the voice of reason on the other side of the scale (I don't feel like going further into the stereotypical gender binarism of this, but...).

I'm scrambling so much for examples that even Boston giving Mew a slight phone pep-talk before he loses his virginity could be considered one in this world of absolute friend scarcity? But it's all a reach. They all have fairly complex histories and including some trauma, and not once have they had a heart-to-heart and tried to help each other through, they base their interactions in moaning about their current - or their pursuits of - romantic relationships, or judging those who are not pursuing them, or have addictions that impact them in finding one.

The occasions of help happen ultimately because people have reached such a desperate state that they need a dramatic intervention; and the fact characters reach this level of desperation shouldn't surprise us, because ultimately all of them lack the foundational support of a good friend group.

And this makes sense with my point 2 above - this show is deeply unconcerned with any type of relationship that isn't 1-on-1 romantic partner love. These folks just happen to share space, almost at random, in their lifelong pursuit of a regular long term partnership that ultimately exists in a contextual friendless void. Which makes me think about the wider context of why they're spending time together and this hostel they're opening for a school project. Of course they were "friends" before, and so we are told, but the moments we experience of them together is one in which they are out together for a reason, for school, and not simply because they love each other and want to hang out. I'd love to see them leave their current partners at home a few more times and just hang out in a bar as pals.

The End

And that's what they wrote until episode 9. Neely already sent me their final thoughts so I'll post them later this week.

Thanks for reading💜

I'll tag some people that left comments last time or reblogged. @doyou000me @respectthepetty @italianpersonwithashippersheart @o-nao-lugar @lurkingshan @heiscomingtomygrave If anyone else wants to get tagged for the final one let me know.

#only friends the series #only friends meta #rose and neely ramble #thai bl #ofts #only friends

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separatist-apologist · 1 year

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rank acotar characters by how long you could stand to be in a car with them? important factor: they decide what music is playing

Ranking ACOTAR characters based on an 8 hour roadtrip where they control the aux. Don't forget that I alone have the only right opinions in the fandom and therefore will be taking 0 feedback.

17. Beron- AM talk radio the WHOLE way with the most HEINOUS opinions a person can have. Loudly agrees and at times is arguing back with the guest through the speakers. Is he aware they can't HEAR HIM?

16. Amren- Doesn't like music. No road games, please.

15. Jurian- Dad rock. There is only so much Every Rose Has It's Thorns we can hear before its time to drive this car off a bridge. Pour exactly NO sugar on me, I am afraid of ants.

14. Gwyn- I'm SORRY, but she's giving very strong show tunes vibes. Spends the whole time singing, and yeah her voice. is beautiful but this is not American's Got Talent. This road trip is about classic jams, not showing off.

13. Nesta- Gruesome murder podcasts. Listens without flinching as the night grows darker. Thinks we should turn down that dark road as a short cut. Why is she cutting cheese with a hunting knife?

12. Tamlin- Country music, but it's like, pop-country and not country with feeling or country for murdering men. Barefoot blue jean night? Sir we're in New Jersey.

11. Eris Vanserra- Listens to The History Of Rome podcast the whole way. Jesus Christ man can we choose another point in history? NO. We will hear of these ancient battle tactics and we will be grateful. Only upside is Mike Duncan is a great story teller. Definitely asks for a sexual favor half way through, like I'm not DRIVING HELLO SIR?

10. Azriel- 2004 best of emo jams. Its a playlist he made himself, with all the classics. Become increasingly concerned when MCR's Helena comes on and he turns it up to belt with clear, obvious feeling. You okay, bro? Want to pull over for a taquito?

9. Vassa- Whatever is on the radio, like this isn't cornfield country. There is NOTHING but the sound of me mooing at the window ("cow") or the static as she flips station to station. Occasionally finds the most banger radio station filled with songs you forgot about, only for it to vanish right at the climax of a song you're both belting. Still, the spontaneity is fun

8. Rhys- NPR podcast. God it's informative and yeah it's interesting and the conversation it opens up keeps you both busy for hours so it's hard to completely complain. Spends a lot of time staring at his phone and fact-checking guests

7. Tarquin- Apple Music? I mean...I GUESS. He did his best, but his best is questionable. It's his own playlists and his taste in music if fun, if not eclectic. No one vibe- and he brought snacks.

6. Mor- Nothing but gossip. How does she know so much? Terrified to tell her about personal life, but have to admit hearing what disasters everyone else is really fills the time.

5. Emerie- PREPARED. Downloaded a mix of playlists AND podcasts, rotates them when the mood starts to flag. Never lets her finger off the phone, but also does not take requests, so stop asking. You get what you get.

4. Elain- It's pure pop and nothing else. Bouncy and upbeat, she came to have a good time with nothing in between. Outdoes Tarquin in snacks, and has a list of road games ready to go for when everyone is burned out with music.

3. Lucien- A playlist for every mood. Oh it's raining? It's sunny? Everyone is hungover and needs quiet? He's got you covered. The vibe never drags and is always appropriate, reading the room before you even know the tone has shifted.

2. Cassian- King of the excursion. Roadside America memorized, Cassian knows where every biggest wind chime, ball of yarn, and rocking chair is located. Somehow manages to keep everyone mostly on time. Stops for snacks instead of bringing his own because everyone knows the best food is at a rural gas station. Ranking jerky flavors for fun, and in between, keeps it easy with a steady jam of road trip faves.

1. Feyre Archeron- High Lady of the Road Trip herself. Turn off that podcast, turn up the music. Feet on the dash, gossip ready to GO. Can tell a story for HOURS, knows all the deets on everyone's messy lives. Planned ahead and found a hotel with a pool AND a bar. Playlist absolute perfection, based on the friends in the car.

#acotar rankings #remember if you disagree its you who is wrong and not me #my opinion is immaculate #AND objective

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finniestoncrane · 8 months

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I'm here for a blind date I'm genderfluid (afab if you're wondering. I apparently give off Boy Vibes™)

I love dinosaurs (some of my favorites include Archaeopteryx, Australovenator, and Baryonyx, Minmi, Oviraptor, and Yi qi) comic books (mostly Suicide Squad but you already know that by now), and I'm trying to get into cars because I want to be an automechanic, since my grades weren't good enough for paleontology and I suck at art. College wasn't right for me and being an automechanic is probably like... A trade school thing, right? I also like Transformers. I got a mullet at one point, but it grew out a bit lol. I'm kinda clumsy, which is pretty evident since my glasses keep breaking lol. Not like I can afford new ones so I guess I'm using duck tape and super glue to keep the frames in... 2 pieces I guess. I guess it's just duck tape keeping the ear things on. I really got into old monster movies in Middle School because of a book called the encyclopedia of monsters. From like... The really old ones like The Blob That Ate Everything to the ones from to the slightly more recent ones but they're still decades old, like the Alien Franchise. Not too big of a fan of regular (?) horror movies. Technically I haven't seen most of the alien movies, but I really liked Alien VS Predator so I think that counts enough. I know I've already told you this but I fell down a YouTube rabbit hole of wilderness survival and eventually wound up finding a channel about boomerangs and the occasional Australian wildlife video (there's one titled Kangaroo Maggots. He finds a kangaroo corpse at the side of the road and maggots are inside of it. Really fucking gross. 0/10. Do not recommend if you hate maggots. Don't know why I watched that specific video honestly, but all the rest are good). Which lead me to another channel about Australian animals. I'm American and idk how tf I got from how to cook a cactus to watching a video on dingoes. I play a lot of simulator games. Like... If you look at my steam library it's like... 99% simulator games, the Batman: Arkham Series, and then a hunting game for some reason. And even then I think that's a hunting simulator come to think about it. Don't know why I like Simulator Games, I just do. Wait... Does the Arkham series count as simulator games? Like... Are they technically Batman simulators. I love reptiles and rats, but I fucking hate spiders. Need an Australian Man™ to help me if a spider is near lol. You know wow I'm talking about here I tend to get overexcited when myself or others are talking about stuff I'm interested in. I go on long tangents about stuff I like. I'm kind of a nerd when it comes to my semi-niche interests. I do enjoy listening to people go on their own tangents about things they like too though.

It's also quite apparent I have a thing for weird and/or disgusting fictional men ( my taste in women is better I swear. (Will fall for any tall woman who even looks in my direction. Which isn't saying much cuz I'm 4'10¾") )

💜 blind date 💜 the kitchen is now closed! 🔞minors dni🔞 • masterlist • kofi link • tag: finnie1500 (to follow or to block) a/n: hi please come in and distract this idiot, quickly, quicker, HURRY 💚

"Hi, uh-huh, welcome to the Vill-Inn. Can I just... sit you down as quickly as possible? If your date asks any of us if we want to see his big, curvy weapon one more time, we are going to escort him from the premises. Good luck!"

The moment you sit down at your table, after being rushed over by the waitstaff, you're met with a wide and mischievous grin, a signature smile from a man you recognise.

"I go by many names. Captain Boomerang, George, Digger. But you can call me daddy, if you like."

You screw your face up a bit, trying to pretend like that line didn't get you, and he's quick to try and win you over.

"I'm joking, love! Lighten up, it's a blind date, it's supposed to be fun!"

At least he's quick to... not apologise for his jokes, but to try and recover from them. And he's also surprisingly interested in you, and in getting to know you. Although, you fear it's just so he can make more risque jokes.

"Ah, mechanics. So... you're good with your hands then? You wear one of them little overall things? With anything underneath?"

The loud laugh he lets out at the end of his remarks are so endearing though, they make his lewd comments almost charming. Which you're unsurprised by, given your specific taste in men. He's perfectly strange and definitely a little bit gross, just how you like them.

He comments on your glasses, mentioning that you seem like someone who is a creative problem solver. A comment that feels like a proper compliment, not just a segue into another flirtatious remark. And it feels like he's dialing down on that the more he gets to know you. he talks to you about horror films for twenty minutes without saying anything lewd or crude. It's almost like it's a defense mechanism he uses to keep a distance, to maintain his facade.

In fact, he barely says anything at all when you're telling him about your preference for classic horror, and what video games you're interested in. Almost like he's enjoying learning about you. Almost like he can forego his usual ridiculously brazen behaviour around you. And you're more than happy to return the favour when he gets excited about boomerangs. Your fault for mentioning them.

"Yeah, you can learn a lot from a video online about surviving in the outback, but if you're ever looking for private tutoring, I'm your man."

He winks with this statement, but you can tell there's sincerity behind the offer. The fact that you're willing to listen politely, and that you seem interested in him when he's talking about subjects that are so personal to him, makes him feel very at home around you. And you're warming up to him, to the point where you can make some jokes too. I mean, no harm in joking about inviting him round to your place to get rid of some scary spiders, since he's Australian Outback Extroardinaire.

"Listen, for you, I can let myself be more of a hero than anti-hero for a change. Show me the little buggers and I'll have your house spider free in no time."

He winks again, and you're so fond of it that you can't help but imagine a life of being winked at across tables. A strange, happily ever after.

#finnie writes #finnie1500 #long post

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i-bring-crack · 10 months

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This is very random, but on a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate the Solo Leveling characters in terms of hotness

Hi sorry for the long wait and long analysis post this is going to be!

Also you don't need to read all of it! It's fine! I put the pics there for a reason!

Well after this whole thing I can say that even I disagree with myself as to how I put them up on the scale, but its the best i could do. So there definetly might be disagreements bc I have to come clear about this:

I am in fact not attracted to fictional characters.

Okay it's kind of sketchy, I'm attracted to their personalities more than the whole characteristic itself because *waves hands* well I'm just not into superficial physiques. I say they are hot, sexy and stuff like it's a normal thing for me to say, and because genuinely thats what they were drawn to do but honestly it's hard for me to be attracted to some that way, much less fictional characters. And if someone else says they are hot I be like "yup yes absolutely look at them hips! Face! Princess type!" While like, not caring at all. It's why my change of hotness is also never clear. I can say I like himbos just as I can say I like petite little girls to monster fukery. And it will all be true in the end because 1)fiction and 2)the more I write about them and inmerse myself in their story the more I feel like I have a certain connection to those characters which makes me ACTUALLY like them.

So biased opinion wise: they all a 10 fr (And Antares is a hella 11 he can fuck Ashborn ra—)

Anyways !

SL Scale by Sexyness!

First though, some general rules:

I don't think I might be able to put anyone 6/10 or lower, that kinda has to do with the fact that they were all meant to look good by the artists bc, well, they wanted everyone to be engaged in the characters.

I will try to base the Sexyness meter as a heriarchy of one another: like just because I put a character on 8 doesn't mean it's an 8/10 or but rather he is less sexy than the one at 9.

10s are at the very top of character design for me while 9s are somewhat less than 10s and 8s are less than 9s, like so.

Also I can only do like 10 people sadly bc photos don't let me get past 10, so I will do like 2 people on the tens, 2 on the 9s, 2 on 8s... and so forth until the 6.

Si like:

10— Perfect gender envy

9— God they are hot

8—sexy smexy

7— more cool than sexy

6— the vanilla kind of sexy

Really sexyness is pretty hard to describe for me bc everyone fits in their own way to something as long as they are like, clean. But at the same time sexyness does vary a lot by perspective alone and attractiveness in it of itself. I'm going crazy and I probably sound too off putting with this sorry! So imma start—

First off: The Tens

They may sound like honest default but honestly they also had the best jobs done characterization-wise because of how basic yet elegant they can be. In part, something that isn't too over the top but at the same time isn't too toned down which is what makes for that personal goal of being able to look like them or project on to them. The gender envy on them is real, especially because Solo Leveling took a lot of the elements of Isekai and with it came the "bland protagonist" trope. But when it transitioned to manwha the bland protagonist suddenly turned into someone you wanted to be: someone muscular and flexible, someone that shares the same looks as normal people but makes them attractive...

Also he looks like a K pop idol, and it's already wide known just how much they love those kinds of men.

So 10 out of 10.

And then there is Cha Hae In which is more towards the attractive "waifu" love part rather than a projection to one's self— like it can be, but it does take a lot of tastes with what the target audience for SL wants, i.e blonde and somewhat curvy but still skinny. Looks tall but still not too tall, long legs, at the last chapter she has a long hair which is also pretty sought out.

Also they can both pull off a masc and fem energy which is a bonus too bc they can reach more diversed looks! Androginy for real is really awesome in characters due to all the kinds of vibes than give off without being put of by their physique or thinking that it doesn't work well. Now I do think many aren't necessarily unattractive due to not wearing clothing asking by fashion standards. I mean, anyone thirsts over characters in a maid outfit, even the butchiest of muscular men, yet the change in fashion between men and women is still quite spaced out outside of Fandom circles or just cosplay circles as a whole, which is why an androgony kind of look that can go for both kinds of gender envy is quite seen as more sexy, at least in this chart.

Nines

Forgive me for adding a minor character but honestly I think Kanae Tawata's character seems to be one of the best for me! She tends to cover a lot of differences that CHI has the opposite off [black hair-Blonde, muscular- Thin, vibrant eyes- dull calm eyes, long hair- short] and at the same time it happens to look great on her, but what brings it down a point is probably the fact that she gives off more elegance than pure sexyness. I think the most elegance that is brought over is for the hime haircut that she has, but still she could pull of a 9.5 in other kinds of hairstyles too, like her and CHI really are close in terms of sexyness. (Also she excludes more dom vibes, where as Hae In is more sub and dom vibes what a versatile bitch i swear—)

I think the same could be said for Woo Jin Chul, the same terms for sexyness do apply despite also having various differences with Jin Woo in terms of appearance, but still manages to pull off his own kind of hotness in the same way, but once again his character also falls a lot more with the elegant type, this time I think it was more intentional since for the most part the clothes he wears are suits, longer sleeved shirts, and other more covered up clothes (what a slut) than like the rest of the characters.(what are you covering up for huh? So other men can take that off you? Hoe)

The Eights

Okay so why did I put resident sexiest characters of the seires at an eight? Am I blind? (yes, sexually) am I dumb?

But in all seriousness, I put down Zhigang up a notch not because I think he's unsexy, but rather, it's because of his hair *gets shot* wait hold on! I don't mean the length of his hair at all, that actually would put him on a firm 10 if I were to pick at random, but rather because of the whole messyness of it. In different aspects it does work, like the picture above, it's not much, it works well to describe his character and it genuinely does make him look like a diva, but it's also really hard to pull it off completely good, even for the artist. There are some panels where his hair is too long that it starts to look wrong on him or makes him look like a wild anime character (which I'm sorry it's a hard no 💀) so I'm fine with him having his beautiful long hair, I'm not fine with the way it tends to just poof out a lot that it tends to give it a worse look than before. He is still sexy, but there needs to be like a defined volume withing those strands please D": It can probably work even more if he let's his hair down too, that way the strands aren't too much to bare but the effect of it is still shown. The same goes for his built, that genuinely I don't know how it changes per season from stacked to thin. It does definelty have so.ething to do with black suits as said in this post, but when paired to Jin woo in other panels they also seem to have almost the same structure, which — I thought he would be around Thomas physique rather than Jin woo's, lmao he looks like a mix of both. Still men with long hair and those kinds of eyebrows are a big bonus which is why he isn't lowered. Although irl I don't know if that kind of look would attract normal people that aren't fans of cosplays or elves so :v.

As for Esil, I don't think she could pass for a lot of the sexyness tests, she might look the type of oh sexy demon vampire! But for me she had more characteristics that make her ought to be a more cute/naive type of character than a sexy one like in the rest of media. At first I think she does have a more kind of "sexy" considering all the sharp likes in her design, like the armor and the eye marks, but legit as she changes sides and puts on the black suit, suddenly the shape gets more rounder as she wears less padding that's sharp and also the huge offers a contrast that makes her look smaller and thus more innocent in the eyes of the viewer. I think that's funny but a great key design honestly considering her personality, because her appearance WAS the major factor of why she lived, the reason that Jin woo decided to spare her life despite being very tricky and a backstabber to both him and her race. Good on her fr. But yeah she was a good design overall as someone who is "cute" because if it was made sexy it will likely look more like a female-fatale as thus probably not pass as a good figure that keeps it word to Jin Woo. Sexyness after all is often times used in media as a way to stray others rather than repent since you don't see a lot of sexy characters who tend to be insecure or ashamed of themselves and instead use that beauty to its advantage. Esil wasn't that kind of character, she never tried to seduce him, she wanted to apologize for her actions, she fought him head on, she dragged him back to her home despite being unaware of his army in his shadows. All those things were why I focused on her being more cute than sexy. Also her big round eyes are more leaning towards cute and small than the cat like eyes of say Hae In and Kanae. The purple hair is a good factor on her though, and so are the fang teeth, red marks and eyes, and the long ears often associated with vamps. Still I think I prefer Esil more than the typical sexy vampire because– well the trope reversal! She gets to be someone that doesn't use her looks to lure but to show that she is a different species likewise.

Genuine attractiveness to these two because they are quite rare designs that i like the pop of it! Lou Zhigang does give me more danmei vibes but I love Esils kind of cuteness that takes away the sexy vamp trope.

The Sevenths

Let's start with Laura and her ability to just be cool right of the bat! And I think it catches that essence more than it does for Hae In. She does still have the same characteristics as her and can pull it off, but as the rest go downwards it's hard to describe if she's that much of a sexy idol. I think they just pull off more of a cool vibe than anything. Can she wear different kinds of outfits and pull it off? Yeah, but it would also take away her whole character of who she is which is more of a professional rather than a character that one could be interested in. Her appearance is also quite common within the US so it's not quite rare or unique as it is in the case of, well say, Hae In, so withing her location it's not quite as much of a stand out as it is in other places.

I do think the sense of elegance and normalcity also applies to Goto Ryuji. For different enjoyers it's definelty a 10 but in terms of sexyness by itself it's kind hard to pintpoint for me if it will be good top 10. Like the qualities are fine, he is sexy in his own right but when it goes to pull off a casual sexy (say a pair of short sleeves, normal wear) it doesn't fit his looks well. It's just... eh? Like my favorites parts of him was when he was with the armor and the suit on rather than the loose baggy t shirt and jacket he had when he fought jin woo.

Like for these two I don't immediently think "Oh god they are sexy" but more of a "Oh they are quite good looking, yet it seems they mostly are here to act professional." It works for Laura because that her whole main characteristic, it's not being attracted to anyone (Out of the few girls that appear in Solo Leveling too she also isn't one to thrist after Jin Woo, which thank you queen, I needed that. For that you and Kanae have my respect.) And mainly looking a things through a business perspective (while also having a sentimental side with Thomas, which is nice, it's not the "assistant having a crush on boss" trope it's rather the whole female-male platonic friendship that despite being business partners still feels somewhat real when the The "get along or worry about each other, again not for any kind of unspoken feelings but because they have been together for a long time as friends and coworkers")

It also works for Ryuji because their traits where to make people be fooled by their appearance. He seemed like someone who would be level headed and professional, but in fact was really resistant to thinking of others as better than himself and was very egotistical.

The Sixths

They both feel more like they would be the kind of love interests in Doramas especially in the way the get to dress themselves. I can see that some aspects would be sexy for Lennart if his hair was more of a wavy kind of look rather than a pure straight cut. The same I would probably say about Ju Hee, her aspects make her look more like cute-special kind of girl, especially with such bright colors like the orange hair and the blue eyes. There really isn't much for me to say about them as sexy but I think a lot of their characteristics could fit the the shy cute or pastel-sweetheart esthetic fro. Romcoms. For Juhee it's a given, she is bearly in her 20s, she is somewhat of a first friend trope, naturally scared and also a healer with soft features to represent her kind nature. For Lennart it's a small comparison of a cat like eyes due to his sharp sense of sight, but blonde look to represent its European, and since he is made out to be a small force compared to Thomas Andre (when facing against the Beast Monarch) the height and blue faint one-color palettes can make a good contrast to how colorful and big Thomas can be.

Um anyways than you for reading all of that, if you did... I really did like a lot of these character designs so it got me to be like this... :"v

#cha hae in #sung jin woo #woo jin chul #kanae tawata #ashborn lmao #liu zhigang #esil radiru #the true 10a for me are Antares and Ashborn tho just for the sake of how much their designs could change and the whole ass lore that i have #for them #because see i do tend to characterize more attractiveness with character persepective rather than pure physical beauty as a whole #instead of being normal and saying chart numbers i decided i needed to analyse the fuck out of them #like really im—#goto ryuji #lennart niermann #lee ju hee #laura Solo Leveling

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writers-in-moominvalley · 1 year

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💝Snorkmaiden and Love Life💝

Snorkmaiden is infamous for falling in love with man after man in the comic strip, deserting Moomintroll in the process.

However, today I will not be judging Snorkmaiden for the lack of simply dumping Moomintroll's butt so she doesn't have to deal with his violent jealousy that ruins nearly all her relationships, instead, I will be judging each character she fell for based on datability.

The list will be sorted in order of appearance, and will only extend to the comics Tove was involved with (every comic between Moomin and the Brigands and Fuddler's Courtship) simply because I do not have access to all of Lars' comics and narrowing it down to Tove's comics makes it astronomically easier for me to actually list these men, let alone judge them. I will also NOT be taking into account any of the adaptations of these characters, I will be strictly focusing on their comic appearances since taking into account THOSE versions of them will be taking into account alot of things that come with them and it would complicate the list even further.

And with that out of the way, let's start with Snorkmaiden's first (after Moomintroll);

Clark (Moomins on the Riviera)

Clark may seem like your archetypical douchebag celebrity at first glance but he is surprisingly one of the more kind men Snorkmaiden's had the.... (Dis)pleasure? Of falling for. "Honey" seems to be a default pet name he gives to women, although we don't see him call anyone else that (he calls Snorkmaiden honey even when they were complete strangers though).

Snorkmaiden and Clark seemed to have quite a bit of fun and Snorkmaiden had 0 conflict or complaints about him until he turned down her invitation to go swim when the Moomins left the hotel after his duel with Moomintroll. His apology gift for the declination was also very sweet of him so he seems to care about Snorkmaiden based on that.

We don't know much about Clark and can only speculate on his life and behavior based on his friend group and status, he could easily have turned sour if given enough time but using only what we know he seems like a good chap for a celebrity guy with poor taste in beach wear.

7/10

The Pirates (Moomin's Desert Island / Moomin Under Sail)

The only reoccurring interests, they really don't do anything as interests. Mymble and Snorkmaiden seemed to enjoy them for the idea that they're dangerous but quickly lose interest when presented with otherwise.

They are a clever sort, I'll give them that, they have made plans and those plans do succeed in the end which is more than I can say for the plans of most other characters, but they are definitely not worth engaging with on a personal level nor are they interested in such follies in the slightest. Bad news but fun to read about.

2/10

Mr. Brisk (Moomin's Winter Follies)

Mr. Brisk is definitely on the lower end of the ranks when it comes to datability. He's never interested in Mymble nor Snorkmaiden until he rides his victory high against Edward the Seal (and even then I doubt he saw them as more than fans) and overall he has this personality that is difficult to deal with on an interpersonal level (with his massive yet fragile ego, competitiveness, fixation on sports and s****dal tendencies).

He is not the WORST person in the world, objectively speaking, but he does not seem to be in any place to treat another person kindly in any respect. His sports moves may be impressive but he's like one of those celebrity sportsman who are only impressive in their field and are fun on a good day but you can't see yourself being real friends with, let alone dating.

2/10

The Fillyjonk (Moomin Begins a New Life)

He's definitely one of those fixer-upper types, I gotta say. His lack of agency when making plans with Snorkmaiden was one of her major complaints about him but that seems to be fixed when he formed a rivalry with Moomintroll, so there's definitely an obvious space for him to change, however I wouldn't call him a catch with the way he is. Even Moominmamma called him a wet (someone who doesn't have strong opinions or agency) and seemed worried for Snorkmaiden because of him.

He seemed attached to Snorkmaiden since he was bold enough to break into a Jeweler's to win her back but also he ditched her to "buy cigarettes" when a threat like "the Black Hand" (Moomintroll) presented itself.

Not a bad guy but not great either. Come back when you get go through some character development my dude.

4/10

The Nobleman (Snorkmaiden Goes Rococo)

He is... Hmm... He seems nice enough for a parody of a french nobleman but he doesn't offer much besides being needy and kind of dim. He is certainly nice enough to Snorkmaiden what with offer her a reward for saving him and inviting her to the King's dinner since he couldn't carry her on his horse, but he seems to prioritize his own needs and doesn't think for Snorkmaiden's wellbeing either.

He seems nice but not nice enough.

5/10

The Revolutionary (Snorkmaiden Goes Rococo)

Love his hair! Do not enjoy his personality. He is truly one of those bark and no bite preachers who make speeches upon speeches and poetry and songs about eating the rich but when it comes to actually doing anything about it he most certainly lacks and even acts cowardly towards the royal guards. He appreciated Snorkmaiden for her admiration for his writing abilities but he doesn't hold any regard for her suggestions or interests outside of that, not to mention his casual sexist comments towards her. He quite literally ditches her after being invited to the King's dinner in place of a revolutionary meeting, which is the most hypocritical thing he could've done and rightfully tipped Snorkmaiden over the edge to finally leave him.

His ideals are something that ought to be admired, of COURSE all men should be equal, but there are holes in his ideals and he simply does not act out what he preaches. Come back when your morals are less flimsy and tone down the sexism!

4/10

The Accountant Fillyjonk (the Conscientious Moomins)

He is straight up a very cute guy. He is very endearing and actually asked Snorkmaiden out on a date which is very rare for these fellows, and his passion for accountancy is something even Snorkmaiden admires. He was very eager to help but was rather oblivious at Snorkmaiden's coyness, though he was still very nice about it.

However, his one downfall was surprising Snorkmaiden with the gift of a cleaned typewriter which she devastatingly did not appreciate, but that's simply a matter of taste (I personally would've appreciated something like that).

A rare good fella. Wish his appearance wasn't so brief.

8/10

The Poet (Moomin Under Sail)

Hmm.... Mixed feelings on the guy, honestly. He is a stowaway leech to be sure but he does have some sincerity in his affection for Snorkmaiden among his plans to be the most comfortable person on the boat indulging in fruits and whiskey. But the Moomins' and Too-Ticky's disdain for him was not totally unfounded, he seemed a little too pretentious and a little too absorbed in his status as a poet which he believes gives him licence to laze about as he wishes.

Snorkmaiden's genuine devastation when he got carried away by the Niblings was heartbreaking to witness but the Moomins' indifference and even relief towards him by contrast was hilarious.

Still, he needs to get his act together and become a more independent guy if he really wants to up his datability rating.

6/10

Dr. Hatter (Fuddler's Courtship)

Hatter's a very... Interesting fellow, and Mymble and Snorkmaiden most certainly took that interesting-ness as a main vocal point of his appeal. As seen with Fuddler, he could easily become friends with someone if he dared, but his overwhelming paranoia and lack of competency in being a psychiatrist should probably be signs that he's not a good date, and I doubt he even is interested in the least. If a psychiatrist uses Freud as an exclamation that's probably a red flag in the kind of stuff he believes.

His personality shift into a physiologist seemed to have made him much friendlier and less skittish (neg. sense) but he became incredibly pretentious about medicine and such, you probably can't hold a very interesting conversation with him like before (which is probably why Mymble lost interest in his quickly).

He... Is there, certainly, but he's a pills-and-drops man now, not a dating man.

4/10

Under the cut are the notes I've compiled about each character so you can make your own judgements on them without having to read the comments, let me know your thoughts! (Warning: it's long)

Clark

- Is introduced as one of Marquis Mongaga's friends who like the Moomins for being weird

- Invites Snorkmaiden to swim in the pool and lets her be when she declines due to a lack of bikini (he calls her honey already, could simply be an impersonal pet name)

- Next time we see him, he's swimming on the beach and recognizes Snorkmaiden ("Hiya, honey, haven't we met before?")

- They go boat skiing together in the background on the next panel with Clark riding the boat and Snorkmaiden doing the skiing

- Snorkmaiden calls him a "man of the world" when arguing with Moomintroll

- Clark asks Snorkmaiden if she always lives in luxury

- Appears awkward and avoidant when Snorkmaiden and Moomintroll start arguing in front of him

- MT calls out Clark and challenges him to a duel

- Clark and MT seem to be arguing in the background of the next panel

- Clark is then seen marching away in the next

- Unlike in the movie, Clark offers the fencing swords straight (100% sure the movie writers just did that choice fakeout to make Clark look alot worse)

- Clark calls MT a pipsqueak who can't even hold a sword properly and narrates his strategy

- He has terrible peripheral vision it seems (makes sense since he wears glasses)

- Clark gets hit in the head by MT off-screen and he looks like a kicked puppy when we see the aftermath

- Snorkmaiden goes to say goodbye to Clark and tells him about how she and the fam are living under an old boat now that she doesn't have money then invites him for a swim tomorrow, Clark politely declines saying he'll be very busy for some time and goes back to reading a newspaper

- Snorkmaiden declares that she hates him afterwards

- (after shenanigans before the Moomins finally leave) Mongaga gives Snorkmaiden a sort of..... Fur cape? Coat? Thing? Saying it's an apology gift from Clark for his rudeness since he felt a little unwell

- End of Clark's presence and the whole comic thereafter

The Pirates

(Moomin's Desert Island)

- The pirates are found drinking rum and eating from a bowl on the beach, they hear Mymble and Snorkmaiden nearby and one of them says "Halt! Who is giggling?"

- They seem stunned to see Snorkmaiden and Mymble in the next panel

- They get blown up by fireworks that MT lit trying to protect Snorkmaiden (since they were chasing after her and Mymble)

- They get injured and patched up by Snorkmaiden, Moominmamma then puts them to work by making them rebuild her rock garden

- They say they can't work without drinking rum

- They get to work and feel totally embarrassed about the job ("After this we can never be pirates again. How unmanly.")

- Moominmamma plants a little head kiss on one of them as a reward

- Snorkmaiden and Mymble lose interest because they aren't "cool" anymore

- They ask what the stone wall is for and then decide to plan a mutiny against the Moomins

- They steal their barrel of rum while the Moomins go diving and celebrate not having to garden

- The pirates stumble upon the Moomin ancestors transporting the crates of fireworks and assembling them into a large tower

- They run and warn the Moomins about the ancestors trying to blow up the island

- Island goes boom boom and it starts raining, which makes the Moomins miss home, so the pirates offer their rum barrel to cheer them up

- their presence in the comic ends

(Moomin Under Sail)

- They're reintroduced by having their and the Moomins' ships nearly hit eachother and Moominpappa and the pirates recognize eachother, much to the pirates' dismay.

- One of the pirates say this is the second ship the Moomins have sunk, Moominpappa justifies himself by saying he knows but THEY started it.

- They say that the least the Moomins can do is bring their loot aboard, Moominmamma then offers hot rum.

- Moomintroll tries to lift a heavy chest and asks if it carries cannonballs, one of the Pirates says it's just eight pieces of gold.

- Snorkmaiden opens a chest full of brocade and jewels

- The Pirates' ship goes up in flames and starts sinking while the silver treasure is still on board, Too-Ticky jumps in and one pirate mourns her death, saying she would have made a great buccaneer. The other one says she's found the silver and Too-Ticky hops back on the boat covered in soot

- One pirate orders Moominpappa to change course to some islands with rich prizes, Moominpappa retorts that it's his ship. The other pirate then replies that he's sunk their ship (revealed to be called the Bloody Mary) and Moominpappa folds to their orders.

- The Pirates happily drink inside the cabin while Moominpappa and Moomintroll sleep inside a tent on the deck, they complain about this.

- One pirate requests that they bring "the young wench, the buxom one" (referring to Snorkmaiden)

- Moomintroll tells Snorkmaiden to not dare go to the pirates and she replies "I dare, too!"

- Moomintroll laments about this

- Snorkmaiden dramatically declares that she is at their mercy, only for the pirates to ask her to darn their socks

- Next day, the pirates spot a merchant ship and make way to the cabin to get their firearms. Once they get inside Moominmamma locks them up and says she'll only let them out if they leave the merchantman alone

- Moominpappa offers to put them ashore, but they say that the ship is their prize

- One pirate says they can't go on like this and the other shushes him saying he has a plan.

- They talk outside the tent about their plan to slit the crew's throats that night, Moomintroll overhears them, tells Moominpappa about it while the pirates are sharpening their knives and the crew leave via life boat. The two look out the window and their plan to simply scare them off the boat with such a threat worked, much to their relief.

- Their presence in the comic ends.

Mr. Brisk

- Mr. Brisk is introduced after the Moomins jump out of the attic of their house and into the soft snow

- He introduces himself by greeting Moominpappa, saying a catchphrase, his name and the organization he works for (The Great Outdoors Association)

- He tells them about how he loves the cold weather ("Refreshing! Wholesome!") and invites them along, saying their days of leisure are gone (*I can sure say he's not good at marketing sports that much*)

- He tries to teach the Moomins how to ski but not very well

- He pressures Moomintroll into going down a large slope by asking if he's a cowardly weakling in a very ominous way

- He then says none of the Moomins seem to possess a natural talent for skiing, but then tells them to not feel intimidated as they're going to switch to skating

- After the Moomins fail, he suggests they go skate with a sail

- *Moominmamma asks the others if they think Mr. Brisk is given to them as punishment for their sins*

- Mymble gets introduced to him and gains a crush after witnessing him go ice lake diving

- He seems to turn into a detrimental influence on Mymble, seeing as she tries to learn how to skate, learned to "understand" that they are all "degenerate weaklings", and made a snow sculpture in his honor

- Mymble wears a pretty dress just for him and Mr. Brisk doesn't seem to care, practically ignoring her and then telling her it's not practical for skiing

- Moominpappa tells Brisk that there are no penguins or polar bears in Moominvalley and Brisk replies with "You wait!" and distributes the fliers for the winter games via birds

- Mymble discovers a natural talent for skiing, however Brisk somewhat waves her off by saying "Alright alright" and telling her about his interest in competition results

- He apologizes to Edward the Seal about the ski jump not being built for someone of his weight

- Snorkmaiden gains a crush on him after witnessing his ski jump

- Brisk loses to Mymble in the ski race and goes to sulk about getting second place and how his career/self-esteem is down the drain on the cliffside, Moomintroll nearly tries to kill him by jousting him off the cliff with a tree but doesn't go through with it because Brisk already feels like garbage

- Moomintroll tells Mymble where Brisk is and Mymble offers him the first prize trophy, Brisk declines saying she doesn't understand

- Mymble tells Edward the Seal to go against Brisk and go easy on him to restore his self-esteem, Edward agrees to this and after Moomintroll tells him about it Brisk says he shall live up to their faith in him

- Brisk and Edward get into a snowball fight with Bris being overly enthusiastic about it

- Edward buries him in snow but Brisk manages to get out of it and pin Edward to the ground so he can admit defeat

- Brisk "wins" and gets cheered on by everyone

- He starts hanging out with Snorkmaiden and Mymble alot until Stinky reveals the truth about the Edward situation

- Brisk's self-esteem collapses and in a rage he challenges Edward to a bobsleigh race and if Edward loses Brisk will tear him to pieces

- Brisk, as they are sledding down: "HONOUR OR DEATH!"

Edward: "You're an aaaasssss...."

- They both crash into the snow, Edward asks Brisk if he's alive and Brisk challenges him to ice skating

- Edward break the ice and forfeits out of frustration, leaving Brisk feeling hollow inside

- The girls are trapped on a floating ice sheet and call for Brisk to save them, Brisk ignores them and goes to the cliffside to attempt suicide

- He actually goes through with the attempt but causes an avalanche in the process which lets him survive

- Brisk unburies everyone (except Stinky) from the snow, not out of the goodness of his heart for these weaklings but because a little exercise wouldn't hurt

- Brisk is honored as a hero, laurels and everything

- Brisk promises Edward he'll get his revenge next year

- Mymble asks Brisk to dance with her but he declines, saying dancing is a futile sport

- He apparently "went back to the North Pole" after Mymble leaves feeling dejected

- Brisk's presence in the comic ends and so does the comic thereafter

(He gets mentioned in Moomin Winter and Snorkmaiden Goes Rococo afterwards)

The Fillyjonk (Moomin Begins a New Life)

- Is introduced after Moominpappa and Stinky enter the party with their undiluted moonshine, Moominpappa notices Snorkmaiden with a new interest and asks "What will Moomin say?", to which Snorkmaiden replies "I've started the new free life, and so have you!"

- Snorkmaiden and the Fillyjonk seem to have been in the middle of dancing in this exchange, with the two holding eachother.

- Later we see the two making plans to run away together in the middle of the night for the sake of this "new life" they're starting, Snorkmaiden asks what they'll live on and the Fillyjonk replies "perhaps you can fetch a little bag of food from home?"

- Moominmamma prepares food for them and observes that the Fillyjonk seems like "such a wet" (according to Cambridge dictionary for "being wet": used to describe someone who has a weak character and does not express any forceful opinions)

- Moominmamma asks before giving them the food if the Fillyjonk is used to running off with women, the Fillyjonk answers saying not really but they're trying to follow the (white) prophet's teachings

- Next morning, Moomintroll seems already aware of what happened to Snorkmaiden and thinking this freedom stuff is stupid and decides to become a highwayman, dressing up like a gun-toting criminal under the pseudonym of "Black Hand" and spies on the couple among the grass.

- The Fillyjonk asks Snorkmaiden if she likes being run off with, Snorkmaiden replies of course, and the Fillyjonk follows up with asking "Didn't we do it properly?" to which Snorkmaiden replies "Oh do shut up!" (She seems pretty sick of him already and it's only been a night)

- The Fillyjonk said he wouldn't have run off with her if she hadn't agreed to it, and she says that that's just the issue

- Moomintroll plants a written warning between them and the Fillyjonk says "How awful!" while Snorkmaiden says "How exciting!"

- Due to his cowardice, the Fillyjonk excuses himself to "go and buy some cigarettes", Snorkmaiden sees right through this and thinks he'll never come back.

- The Fillyjonk later breaks into a jewelry store before Moomintroll does in the hopes that getting jewels for Snorkmaiden would win her affections back from Moomintroll

- Both boys take a pile of jewels with them and set them somewhere Snorkmaiden will find the next morning and Snorkmaiden feels conflicted on which one to choose, or if she should choose both or neither pile

- Snorkmaiden starts following the new (black) prophet's teachings and forces both the Fillyjonk and Moomintroll to apologize to eachother and turn themselves in to the police for burgling the jewelry store (neither one is sincere in their apology. The Fillyjonk in particular says "A new life without women! (For you)")

- They try turning themselves in but the prison is already full and the policeman's getting extremely stressed about it

- The Fillyjonk is seen in the background among the crowd watching the prophets fight

- End of presence for the Fillyjonk

The Nobleman

The Nobleman (Snorkmaiden Goes Rococo)

- Is introduced by riding in on a horse and the horse throws him down right in front of Snorkmaiden. Snorkmaiden believes this to be a heroic rescue from the bandits trying to take her anklet

- the bandits verbally plan to shoot him and steal his horse, the Nobleman puts his hands up in surrender and Snorkmaiden defends him with an umbrella

- Snorkmaiden asks him if he's okay and the Nobleman mistakes a pain in his chest as a bullet wound, after Snorkmaiden tells him the bandits didn't shoot he realizes it must've been a whale bone

- He thanks Snorkmaiden and offers her half his fortune

- He suddenly gets ill and asks Snorkmaiden to get his smelling salts from his bag

- He sneezes from the "salts", as Snorkmaiden mistook a snuff box instead

- He laments how he's had a terrible experience so far, what with almost getting killed, and says Snorkmaiden will certainly get a bag of silver as a reward

- It turns to night and he asks Snorkmaiden to get a blanket for him, Snorkmaiden thinks it was for her until he asks her to put it around his shoulders

- The Nobleman tells a boring story (as indicated by Snorkmaiden yawning) about why he takes 4 glasses of hot milk everyday. He then takes off with his horse, saying it's a pity it can't carry two people, and invites her to the king's dinner tomorrow before leaving.

- end of his presence in the story

Bonus: 2 likely different noblemen are seen taking a liking to Snorkmaiden in a party, one is simply enchanted by her "perfect slopping shoulders" and the other is directly interacting with her, taking her paw and offering a seat next to him and then offering to send a coach to take her home, and before she leaves he tells her that he's quite "bouleverse" (stricken/enchanted) by such a mysterious lady like her.

The Revolutionary

- Is introduced when Snorkmaiden accidentally enters a room where he's giving a political speech to 4 rather bored people about rising against the oppressive upper class

- He points to her, mistaking her as part of the oppressors and pointing out her being "bedecked with fabulous jewels" while the people have no bread, then references Marie Antoinette's famous "let them eat cake" line by saying they don't like cake

- The Revolutionary tries to extend a hand to his fellows but they leave before he finishes his sentence, then he despairs at them being gone. "If I could only make them see how unhappy and oppressed they are!"

- Snorkmaiden is enchanted by his way with words and the revolutionary reads his speeches/poetry to her by candlelight. Snorkmaiden tells him how clever he is and he acts rather touched by the compliment, "Oh.. well.. I THINK they're rather good.. :>"

- He calls her the most intelligent woman he's ever met and says she shall be the genius of the revolution, then tells her to sew small caps for "everyone" (possibly referring to his "fellow revolutionaries")

- Snorkmaiden knits winter caps inspired by Mr. Brisk and the Revolutionary says they aren't very "revolutionary" (badumtsh) but she's already made 3 of them

- Snorkmaiden mentions how Brisk wore wore hats like that last winter but then realizes he wouldn't be born yet (because time travel) and the revolutionary says "Don't worry your pretty little head. I know women are often confused"

- The revolutionary reads his piece about how all men will be equals, Snorkmaiden asks how and he says they'll wear the same clothes. Snorkmaiden asks what about the women and he answers saying they'll be equals, but "not to the men, of course" while patting Snorkmaiden's head

- The Revolutionary continues with another speech while Snorkmaiden makes breakfast, Snorkmaiden asks if the people will agree and the revolutionary says "they'll have to be guided, of course" (Snorkmaiden is starting to call him dear)

- He asks what the food is and Snorkmaiden says they're small pancakes with strawberry jam, the Revolutionary looks dismayed, saying he usually has pork dumplings and pickled herrings. Snorkmaiden looks frustrated and thinks about how Moomintroll never ate such things so she doesn't have experience with them

- The Revolutionary despairs about not having an audience for his new speech, and Snorkmaiden suggests that while he is clever, talk tends to bore people, so they must have action! "Fighting on the barricades!". The Revolutionary asks what barricades are and she explains that she doesn't really know... they're like trenches but up, not down.

- Snorkmaiden puts up a poster and asks what he thinks, the Revolutionary stares at it contemplatively. Snorkmaiden says it's sure to bring people in but he whines "But the revolutionary spirit..."

- The Revolutionary spots a gendarme (french paramilitary police officer) and he and Snorkmaiden hug eachother, afraid they'll become martyrs

- The gendarme bangs on the door and the try to escape through a small door but Snorkmaiden gets caught before she could enter. Snorkmaiden says she was just trying to get into the cellar to get some jam

- The gendarme asks if she put up the poster and when she proudly says yes he just tells her to take it down before leaving, as bill-sticking is prohibited on that street.

- Snorkmaiden is bewitched by the fine weather and suggests they go on a picnic, the Revolutionary declines and wishes to not be disturbed as he is composing a revolutionary song for the big meeting tomorrow. Snorkmaiden gets snippy and says "You and your silly revolution!"

- Snorkmaiden suggests they go out on the shore and pick seashells, the revolutionary asks what for and she continues her suggestion, saying they'll pretend to be pirates "Like Moomin and-" before being cut off by him saying "how very silly!"

- Snorkmaiden snaps at him saying she's tired of him and how he doesn't like picking sea-shells or playing pretend and.. and.. how he likes pork dumplings!

- She knits angrily lamenting about his and his silly revolutions, how he's nothing like Moomintroll. He doesn't even like pancakes and jam! But then she realizes the Revolutionary doesn't seem to be there

- She finds a letter left on his chair, stating that "darling", he can't hold the meeting because he's been invited to the king's dinner

- Snorkmaiden declares that she hates this stupid century and runs away to reunite with Moomintroll

- Comic ends

The Accountant Fillyjonk

- Introduced while Snorkmaiden is working as a secretary. He awkwardly brings up the weather and then asks what she's doing that night, when Snorkmaiden says she's doing nothing he brings up how there's a lecture on general accountancy and bashfully asks her to join him

- Snorkmaiden coyly says she can't even type on the typewriter. The Fillyjonk helpfully guides her and tells her to type "Invoice", when he reads out that she wrote "Love" it flies over his head and tells her she hit the wrong buttons

- Snorkmaiden is seen putting on makeup back in Moominhouse and Moomintroll asks her why, she says she's going out with somebody who ASKS her out.

- Moomintroll acts petty, speculating that he's some book keeper with pimples, a little mustache and no chin, Snorkmaiden retorts by asking where Moomintroll's chin is

- Snorkmaiden says the Fillyjonk is ambitious and studies accountancy, and that he doesn't have to study about personal magnetism (unlike Moomintroll throughout the comic) because he's got something REAL. She then leaves and Moomintroll attempts to get the last laugh saying he bets he doesn't take her out dancing.

- While at work again, the Fillyjonk says he has a surprise for her, Snorkmaiden lights up but then deflates after the Fillyjonk says he's cleaned the typewriter very bashfully

- Snorkmaiden immediately storms back home saying she's resigned from work

- His presence in the comic ends

The Poet

- He is introduced constantly surrounded by flowers and butterflies, he sees that the Moomins' and Too-Ticky's ship is unnamed and suggests that it should be named the Ocean Orchestra, after his own poem. He proceeds to recite his poem but then gets interrupted by Too-Ticky saying their boat doesn't have a flying jib. He whimsically exits the scene as Moominpappa suggests they name their boat "Mermaid" instead.

- Later, the crew (Moomins + Too-Ticky) notice there are signs of someone else being on the boat and find that the Poet his stowed away with them, hiding in the lifeboat eating cake, drinking whiskey and having a pipe with tabacco and a matchbox to the side.

- The Poet acts guilty by saying they should punish him by sending him to a desert island, as it is "poetic justice". And he admits to stealing their whiskey and tabacco to further cement his guilt. Moominpappa backs off saying he's welcomed on the boat and the Poet smiles at him rather sincerely.

- He asks the Moomins if they forgive him for stealing their stuff and Pappa assures him that they do. The Poet then goes "Of course, a poet must have some licence" (as in: freedom to behave as one wishes, especially in a way which results in excessive or unacceptable behaviour.)

- Moominmamma offers elderberry wine but he declines, saying he'd rather have whiskey and more fruit

- The Poet quickly turns to indulgence as he makes the Moomins set up a comfortable hammock with umbrella and side table. He comments on the lapping waves and calls the seagulls lost souls of sailors, lost at sea, circling their wake. Too-Ticky sneers at him and says they've fed them lots of refuse.

- Moomintroll says they should get rid of him somehow and the rest of the crew (except Snorkmaiden) agree to this

- Moomintroll gives the Poet a foot bath and the Poet says the crew (he calls them philistines) must be happy to have a poet on board, Moomintroll begrudgingly says "very"

- The Poet throws an anchor to the sea before realizing it isn't tied to the boat, then brushes off the loss. Moomintroll looks at him angrily

- Moominpappa laments how he can't even like the sea anymore because of how much the Poet adores it. Moomintroll says that atleast he's one character Snorkmaiden hasn't fallen for.

- Moomintroll immediately gets proven wrong.

- Snorkmaiden is wistfully listening to the Poet read (presumably) his book titled the Ocean Orchestra.

- Moomintroll asks if he'd like to be put ashore and the Poet declines, looking very kindly at Snorkmaiden while speaking

- Moomintroll very menacingly adds that he knows a desert island where he can be really poetic, the Poet declines again saying he loves the boat and Snorkmaiden

- Moomintroll snaps at him and tells him to leave her alone, the Poet and Snorkmaiden only guiltily look up together

- That night, the Poet gets attacked by Niblings while the rest retreat to higher ground.

- The Poet throws his poems in self-defense and the Niblings just eat the papers, then he tries to attack them with a harpoon but is finally carried off by the Niblings off to the sea.

- Snorkmaiden asks Too-Ticky to "save her hero" but Too-Ticky says there's not much one can do

- The Moomins superficially mourn him. Moominpappa throws a potted flower into the sea and says "Well, ahem, this one must say, he DID rhyme his poems"

- Snorkmaiden genuinely mourns him and Moomintroll gives her some lackluster comfort saying the Niblings probably haven't eaten him. Snorkmaiden becomes totally distressed and Moomintroll continues saying if the Niblings didn't like his taste, they may have gnawed the edges, sort of. Snorkmaiden snaps at him saying the Poet was a great man and Moomintroll simply replies "Well, let's hope he has an awful taste"

- End of his presence in the comic

Dr. Hatter

- Dr. Hatter is introduced via a newspaper article read by Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden, they see this as an opportunity to help the Fuddler become more attractive to Mymble (Jr)

- The two hope that Hatter read their letter and Mymble runs up to them saying that a man is moving into an empty house by the fig trees and that he seems exciting. The two run and check if it's him.

- Dr. Hatter appears to be skulking around the house's premises and Snorkmaiden says he might be one of Hatter's patients

- Hatter paints his name on a wall (DR. HATTER, psychiatrist), disagrees with the aesthetic and redoes it (PSYCHIATRIST, Dr. Hatter)

- Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden take Fuddler to his house and Hatter's door is covered in chains and locks he peaks out the window and mistakes them for spies. Moomintroll corrects him and Hatter throws down all his keys for the locks to them, saying he can't be too careful

- The trio go inside and finds memorial portraits of his parents, and toys scattered around the floor. Moomintroll asks if Hatter will be good for Fuddler, perturbed by the sight.

- They looks at some other images on the walls, featuring a homemade Rorschach test (which doesn't even follow the rules of an actual Rorschach blotch), an upsidedown photograph from a patient and other miscellaneous posters

- Hatter appears behind a screen and a load of junk. Moomintroll introduces Fuddler and Hatter tells him to come as the middle of the floor is "so lonely"

- He comments on how Fuddler seems normal and sensible to wear a saucepan to protect his head, however, Moomintroll looks like a case of "Natvomania" (appears to be a made-up disorder) to him. Moomintroll snaps saying it's a crazy idea, however Hatter retorts by pulling up a certificate certifying that he is, in fact, sane

- Fuddler talks about his dreams and Hatter comes closer to a diagnosis. Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden quietly leave them to their devices and Snorkmaiden comments "Isn't he clever?"

- Moomintroll hopes Hatter can help Fuddler and Snorkmaiden says "Of course!! He's wonderful!"

- Mymble shows up and asks Snorkmaiden "Have you seen Dr. Hatter? Isn't he marvelous!" and Snorkmaiden replies "He's so interesting!". Moomintroll scoffs saying he's silly.

- Mymble and Snorkmaiden continue to becomes further enamoured by Dr. Hatter, much to Moomintroll's chagrin.

- Fuddler and Hatter share their button collection and trade buttons, which excites Fuddler. Snorkmaiden and Moomintroll witness him running out of the office happily and Snorkmaiden ponders if Hatter will take her in for treatment too. Moomintroll decides that he should chase Hatter away.

- Moomintroll hires a ghost to scare Hatter, Hatter wakes up to the sound of rattling chains and consults his book about dream meanings, thinking that the current situation is a dream, and then gets spooked by the ghost.

- "My Freud!" cries Hatter, thinking the ghost is his subconscious taking form and says how awful it looks, and that he must analyse himself "again". The ghost threatens to appear three more times and Hatter declares that he'll leave.

- Snorkmaiden, Mymble and Fuddler all become upset about Hatter leaving, with Fuddler in particular begging Moomintroll to help until he feels guilty

- Snorkmaiden and Moomintroll beg Dr. Hatter to not leave as he's packing, Hatter says that he must as the house wakes his subconscious. Snorkmaiden says they'll bring him cases, Hatter is surprised as he believes everyone seems normal, but Moomintroll replies that they're awfully mental, Hatter pauses his packing and says "Oh dear".

- Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden gather some patients to visit him (among them being Mrs. Fillyjonk and the Inspector)

- Snorkmaiden is the first patient, Hatter seems awfully avoidant/shy about whatever subject he's talking about. Snorkmaiden tries to bring up something that nearly happened to her once but he interrupts her saying that the symbols are what matters and asks if she's ever dreamt of bees, Snorkmaiden gets annoyed and says no.

- Mrs. Fillyjonk is the next patient, Hatter shows her one of his homemade Rorschach tests and she says it's an ink spot, he checks a book and goes "aha!" which worries Mrs. Fillyjonk. He then asks her how often she washes and if she brushes her teeth several times a day, Mrs. Fillyjonk nervously answers yes and Dr. Hatter checks his book, vaguely saying "It fits in". Mrs. Fillyjonk asks "Fits in with what?" and Hatter says it's too early to say so she should come back tomorrow.

- The Inspector is patient number three, Hatter makes him play a game of Perfection. Hatter tries to make him put the shapes in the right holes and Inspector ropes him into playing along with him. Hatter brings up how "they" are all after him, and asks if the Inspector ever has bad dreams, the Inspector says not often but he does. Hatter then says "they" are after him because he grows roses, Inspector suddenly gets anxious because he also grows roses. Hatter tells him to come back any time as the Inspector leaves the office, now paranoid of spies.

- Moomintroll notices everyone who visited Hatter are acting strangely. Snorkmaiden suggests Moomintroll should go to Hatter aswell because he thinks everyone is too normal, Moomintroll is baffled by this as he looks at mrs. Fillyjonk staring at herself in a hand mirror.

- Snorkmaiden gets the Moominparents involved in making dr. Hatter stay by using Fuddler to guilt trip them, Moominpappa says people already think they're weird even if they don't try and Snorkmaiden says that Hatter doesn't so they will try this time.

- The Moomin family get on a row boat in front of Hatter's house and pretend their sailing on water, Snorkmaiden says the water is cold and Hatter asks if the fish are biting, then realizes that the ground isn't actually water.

- Hatter invites them to his house and the family continue their boat delusion charade, Snorkmaiden asks if he wasn't going to leave and he says no! Not with them in their present state.

- Moomintroll asks if he can put his nonexistent fish on the table, Hatter says not on the mahogany table, "but that wouldn't matter, would it..." he asks. Moomintroll does a hand stand and asks why everyone is upsidedown, Hatter puts a hand over his mouth in worry.

- The rest of the Moomins do a handstand aswell and ask why Hatter is upsidedown, Hatter laughs it off and says it's just a whim and joins their handstanding. They ask if he can cure them, but Hatter says that although they give him a headache, somehow he thinks they're quiet normal

- Hatter suddenly decides to take his leave but then Moominmamma invites him to a party, Hatter declines because "spies everywhere!" but they insist, dragging him by the arms

- Hatter visits Moominhouse and takes notice of the fence, saying it's very bad, then says it's terrible that they live in a tower, then says the round windows show that their case is very far gone

- They go inside and Moominmamma offers him wine, Hatter says there are symbols of the most sinister kind everywhere.

- He sees the tree growing inside their house and says they must be suffering from "Virulent independentia" (another made-up disorder) so he takes them somewhere else.

- Hatter makes them go inside a fenced container for a tree sapling, locks them up and tells them to be calm

- The Moomins panic and go back on their pretending, but Hatter believes they're suffering from delusions and then asks if they sometimes think they're umbrella stands or egg-beaters.

- Mymble comes in and Hatter says he doesn't have time for her as the Moomin are very interesting to him. Mymble says she thinks she's a flower stand and Hatter takes her in as another case, Mymble begs him to give her private treatment but she's locked up anyway.

- Fuddler comes in and blows up the cage with dynamite, knocking Hatter unconscious in the process, Mymble rushes to Hatter's side and completely ignores Fuddler which angers him.

- Moomintroll pours water on Hatter and he wakes up with a new hairdo. Mymble says he's had a traumatic experience and Hatter says "Traumatic? You've been reading trashy novelettes, young lady!", then says how water invigorates the glands. Mymble thinks the explosion must've brought up his subconscious.

- Mymble asks if he's alright and he says of course he is, Mymble then asks if he'll be treating her psyche and Hatter says that's stuff and nonsense. Chromosomes, gangliae, bacilli, they're the stuff!

- However, Hatter says she seems undernourished and tells her to put out her tongue. He prescribed her iron pills, vitamins and warm underclothes to make her fat and healthy again. Moomintroll asks Mymble if she's happy that Hatter's treating her and Mymble says that he isn't interesting anymore.

- Moominmamma notices Mrs. Fillyjonk and the Inspector are still acting strangely and tells Hatter that he's given them complexes. Hatter scoffs at the idea of complexes and says he's a pills-and-drops man, strictly pills and drops. He'll makes them some pills though, or drops..

- Later, Dr. Hatter actually does develop some complex-reducing pills for them but Moominmamma already cured them so there's no need. Hatter despairs as his effort lays wasted but says Moomintroll surely must have complexes and gives the pills to him in the name of science.

- Moomintroll starts shrinking and Snorkmaiden panics, going to dr. Hatter about it and Hatter finds it interesting, though he does give her the antidote to pour on Moomintroll.

- Comic ends

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