Broke: Giovanni is Ash's father

Woke: Giovanni has mistakenly believed Ash was his hookup mistake for like a decade and is about to get the surprise of the century seeing that not only are they not related, but the employee he fired a few years ago for being too stupid is now living with him and being a more active father than he was

Overseas 🇺🇸

So laios and fallin have been ostracized by society since they were children, Marcille has lifelong grief from constantly outliving her loved ones that leads her to dark magics, kabru’s village was destroyed by monsters, senshi and mithrun both have horror movie level backstories, izutsumi was sold as a freak show attraction, and then there’s chilchuck, who is a normal ass divorced middle aged man. And somehow he’s the most shady and secretive out of all of them

Edit can y’all please let me live I didn’t make this post bc I think chilchuck doesn’t have his own trauma or doesn’t experience racism or that being a union boss is a walk in the park or whatever I made it because him lying that he cheated on his wife to get the others to stop asking about his family was funny as fuck. Come on.

there is nothing more attractive than a silly butch i am so so serious. i would go to war for a butch who is kind of lame

Even cowgirls get the blues

all according to leshys keikaku...

The best fics are the ones that recognize that although Luke Skywalker may APPEAR on the outside to be a normal friendly twink who happens to have cool powers, especially when contrasted with such ship partners as Boba or Din or even Han, he is arguably the scariest person alive in the galaxy around the prequel era. AND, crucially, he is also a fundamentally weird guy. This man was homeschooled on a rural farm his entire life and then apprenticed to a swamp gremlin who showed him how to tap into the cosmic power of the universe. He blew up the death star age 19, killing approx 2 million-ish Imperials. He is a vortex of Force power that can communicate with the ghosts of dead Jedi. He’s staring into the distance and mumbling to himself and doing Yoda aphorisms and casually pulling out the “yeah I could crush that guy into a paste with my mind (:” and nobody around him knows what to do with that. I think he is a character who has very little frame of reference for how a Jedi or a person in general is supposed to act and there is some thing about him that is by necessity really fucking weird and a little scary but he’s so nice that it can throw you off the scent a little bit. Thanks for coming to my TED talk

hilarious to think that a professor Gale wouldn't let anyone but himself be a substitute teacher. like it's his and tav's anniversary and he's busy single-handedly preparing for a banging evening and his students think they can take it easy for the day then the door opens and it's just. gale but purble

That one ending where the Stranger was your first Princess.

it went differently in his fanfics

worth mentioning now i didnt mind the direction the F&C ending went it was bittersweet which was perfect and tragic . but also there’s an almost fix-it au comic series published where simon just kisses golbetty in a gay lil ponytail and everything’s normal

edit: not whatsoever saying this was better than fionna and cake not by a landslide it was a little flimsy. but it was FUNNY ab it

Silly little guy

cas BURNED a HANDPRINT into that human's skin and then CARVED enochian into his RIBS and the angel's NOT the jealous one?????

Based on a tweet i saw about Jamil trying to protect Leona with his body but thanks to their height difference he got hit anyway...

four EXTREMELY underrated glass onion moments:

"child = nft"

"it's so dumb!" "oh... it's so dumb it's brilliant..." "NO! it's just DUMB!!"

"uh, no one traihed ta kill ya, ya vainglorious buffOON" in that stupid accent

"you... dim-witted, brAINLESS, JACKASS! YOUR ONE MUHDUH WITH ANY PANACHE AT ALL AND YOU STOLE THE WHOLE IDEA FROM ME!!"