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understandableparadox · 1 month

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a comprehensive list of everything wrong with hazbin hotel.

quick note before i lose myself in madness, my standards for helluvaboss are non existent because its a free show on youtube. also i kinda like helluvaboss and i will indulge in any bias i damn well please.

oh and spoilers. i guess.

the greater narrative of the entire season is "White lady civilize inner city hoodlum". ex: The blind side. rich girl, affluent family yadda yadda.

the story is set up to be like amphibia, owl house, svtfoe, steven universe, that being starting as something episodic then transforming into story driven narrative. why? because we know the benefits and drawbacks, episodic starts allows us to wander the world, it allows us to understand the dynamics, we are not forced to reckon with anything because there is no deadline. characters are allowed to bloom and shine and the audience can actually get attached.

the source material is Vary Clearly formed from remnants of something out of a middle school edgelord narrative. the usage of transformation, the big spooky grins, the "and then i smile as my eyes glow and-"-isms which in most cases i don't mind because in some instances but in a vary Particular case its astoundingly annoying and that annoyance is like a mold, shit spreads quick.

the color Red. as a lover of homestuck cherubs and karkat and aradia, as someone who fucking loves the color red, it is so painful to say but holy shit tone it the fuck down, i know its hell but their are so many other colors that you can use, its everywhere, the streets, the air, the windows, the screens, the characters, i know the pride ring is represented with red but change up the palates every so often for backgrounds

the rush, this ties into the second point made but i think the story itself is rushed. we know everything way to early. i know way to much and it makes it hard to care about anything because im still trying to digest the last chunk of info. "oh ok, so they clear out hell once a year. oh hell has a heaven embassy? ok. oh that adam the angel, i though he wou- oh its every 6 months now. wait the exterminators die a lot? then why is everyone sca- people in hell already have weapons that can kill angels? w- oh we are in heaven now, ok ma- no one in heaven except for the elites know the exterminations occur? how do-" and its that, just this incessant rush to explain everything to you. notably that's just the god damn spark notes, we need to know everything about the characters now, every single bit of their story, their insecurities, what charlie needs to fix, how she can fix them, the major bad guys, everything. you are never allowed to dwell on a character because we need to rush towards something else. it almost feels like this should have been like... season three, it would have been a fantastic season three if you dropped the introductions honestly.

the concept of redemption. for a story of redemption to work you need to look at three things. What is there crime, Do they want to change, What is preventing them from changeing? there is only one single character that has a notable path of redemption, angel dust, but if you look through their story it feels off. What Exactly is he guilty of? he has sex, does drugs and drinks. his apparent nymphomania is tied to his sad backstory as someone forced into the sex industry so how is that their fault? then if you think about it you start to spiral and notice "hey why are most of these people in hell?" like sure some of them may deserve punishment but then you see the fucking dichotomy and its like "I was a inventor in england and died of the fucking plague, i may have made evil little contraption hoohoohoo" vs "I was a cannibal, a full on cannibal, i fucking killed people and ate them and then someone shot me". ONE OF THESE THINGS ARE A LITTLE MORE FUCKING EXTREME. i'm going to go fucking nuts, the thing they went to heaven with when presenting a case to angels on the idea that redemption and becoming a better person is actually real was angel dust not drinking at a party and not having sex with consenting adults and i want to go fucking insane. WHAT IS THE CRIME, WHO IS THROWING THE BOOK, WHAT DOES THE BOOK INTEL, ARE WE ON GOOD PLACE RULES?! half the cast dont Need redemption they need fucking help, and the other half of the cast do need redemption but they do not seek it making the point moot. sir pentious acts like he has the brain of a hyper intelligent toddler tossing about toys, its almost like he did his one bad thing of spying and then got caught, sank his little diddy about forgiveness and second chances and become a null point through out the rest of the series, sure their was Some weight to him sacrificing himself, he was a decently funny character and he had good moments but him popping up in heaven felt like a fore gone conclusion, he didn't deserve to be in hell so why do i care that he is suddenly in heaven? because its working on the concept the good place already made. no one actually deserves eternal punishment they just need help processing what makes them a dick, but instead of looking at all the parts of the afterlife that make it bad, inefficient and then creating and trying ideas to see if it work instead over a few seasons, we crash dick first into all the major plot points in regards to that and say "tada, we fixed it.".

having a sub-plot about sexual assault and its victims then having multiple sexual assault related gag ruins your point.

don't make a bunch of stereotypically jewish characters into cannibals, that was a big thing, really shouldn't have to say it.

if you are going to make a character black, make them black, you can say alastor was black but sweet seren-fucking-dippity that's not a black man.

pot meet kettle but yeah the cursing could be a little less liberal. maybe just blue hair or the pronouns, not both.

there is a very distinctive art deco/jazz aesthetic which normally i love but i feel as though it is not used to its full extent and in some cases really hurts the character design in and of itself.

this is a vary obvious bit but the story is a million times more interested in gay men then it is of lesbians, which culminates in this insane thing where the writers clearly have more talent or perhaps it would be more abt to say practice writing male gay pining then they are with lesbian pining. which i personally think is hilarious because i did not know you could min max fujoshi-ism that hard.

this next section is more to do with each character on a fundamental level, for the sake of brevity whatever there is left, i'm just doing ones with speaking roles.

13. Charlie:

(see what i mean about that red thing?)

as originally stated charlie fits rather comfortably into every white saviour narrative, though that seems to be part of her joke. though i'm not entirely sure how much of a joke it can be when its rewarded and expected to advance the plot.

her character design says nothing, it has the motif of old puppets or dolls, she wears something vaguely similar to service suits, her demonic form is just some extra horns.not to say every character needs to have their life on a clothes rack but some more snake and goat imagery would be nice

its not the chol design of charlie with snake hair, not an actual problem but its a problem to me, damn you @cholvoq for ruining my ability to look at any of the characters without wishing i was seeing your designs instead.

character wise aside from the white savoir bit, i'm having a bit of trouble understanding what the arc of the character is. she is shown to be naive, someone who doesn't understand how the world works but everytime she says something its something astoundingly clear like "people can actually get better". and its treated like someone demanded faygo in every water fountain. is the joke that the world around her to cynical or is so to naive? please pick one or the other.

now if you know me, you know i fucking hate overpowered characters with a blinding passion, one that would set alit the god damn abyss but in this one special instance, i feel like its warranted, she's the direct descendant of fucking God, she can swing her weight around a little, i mean god damn. she in so many instances looks like shes cowering so often, why would the daughter of lucifer get backed down by some rando pimp? why wasn't she the one to fight adam? sure you can say she is young but how young? her parents were there since pre-abrahamic times, most of the characters showed up in hell in the 1900s, some of them showed up in the 1600s, how old is charlie??? how long does it take for her to learn how to be strong? The story does not suffer if charlie is strong and knows she is strong. it can easily be a case of "i don't believe in violence to a weird degree". fit it into her apparent naivety about the world to believe that violence is never the answer even when dealing with a being that is unilaterally horrible and abusive and monstrous.

she ga- no im kidding, i do think her romance was waysided a bit, it would have been fine to have more scenes of them togather and in love you know?

14. Vaggie

why did you name the lesbian vaggie...? Don't do that maybe?

I like how her design is almost moth like but again i feel as though you could have amped that up.

she feels as though someone tried to combine undyne and pearl from steven universe, same story beats and design elements. it makes it hard to really distinguish her as a character.

i honestly dont have much to say about her. she is fine.

christ kill me, lets just get the big one out of the way

15. Alastor.

God Damn

where to start.

"alastor is mixed race" mixed with fucking what? concrete? there is not a single black feature on that creature, now im not saying you have to make him a png of louie armstrong but it wouldn't hurt to add a curl to the hair maybe? make it a tiny bit more wavy? Something? a crumb i beg of thee?

his symbolism is all over the god damn place, native american monsters (you know the one), voodoo, radio, puppets, stitches, circuses??? and Tentacles i guess. two of those are from closed religions so if you dumped those you would actually get a more concise character focused on the concept of vox populi as a means of societal control and influence as we see in his first song. but again that gets drowned out repeatedly by all the other random toy box bits shoved into him.

tumblr sexy man bait

he serves no purpose in the story. he does spooky stuff, pretends to do things and then goes back to sitting around looking spooky. i understand that his motif is supposed to be aloof mastermind but maybe have him do more mastermindy things? if you remove most of alastors scenes, bar the songs, it doesn't change all to much. husk and nifity can still be at the hotel, they could be looking for outs in their contracts the same as angel dust. hell it even helps with the one scene where he dose some spooky shit, asking charlie for a favor in exchange for his help in the fight with the angels instead of asking him about angel weapons which should have remained a strictly vaggie scene.

his presence in a way delegitimize the story, as I noted in in the section regarding redemption, the three parts are "what is the crime, do they want to change, what is stopping them?" and alastor kinda just spits in the face of that. he is a serial killer cannibal that has no qualms about how evil he is and apparently must continue being evil due to being under the control under someone legitimately called the Root Of All Evil. show him take a slight interest in the idea that maybe shit for him could be better, make him Want Change at the bare fucking minimum or dont have him at the hotel.

his stupid little fucking horns, big shot the troll liker wants characters to have big fucking horns, make them noticeable or dont have them.

he looks more like a dog boy, which could have been an interesting thing with the collar motif but fuck me i guess.

personal pet peeve but i fucking hate characters that have a million plus powers, stick to a set number, be creative.

im getting more petty as i go on so last point: he could have been in less episodes, he didn't need to be in dad beat dad, that should have been just a lucifer and charlie episode. inverse the red and black and i think he would be fucking great color wise, his body type is the same as ten different characters, he isnt radio enough, aside from the voice and and staff if you told me he was the fucking Cat Demon i would have been just as convinced.

16. Angel Dust

what the fuck, gay spider? its hard to actully articulate all the thoughts i have on angel dust, not in the sense that he is a deeply thought provoking character but in the fact that there is not much meat on the bones.

all around i think angel dust is kinda middling. he has a decent enough romance with husk, he has a decent enough story line that revolves around battling addiction and removing yourself from an abuser (which the story tries to brand as "Redemption???")

I dont like that most of his jokes would qualify as sexual harassment, i don't mind him being sexual as a character but continuing on when clearly someone doesn't like the jokes hurts the character.

not a critique but he is pink, which honestly ill fucking take at point, as long as its not more fucking red.

i think his design is an improvement over some of the old vivzie designs but it feels like it could have done with going a few more rounds of design changes.

same thing with alastor, charlie and vaggie, there is not enough of the animal that they are supposed to be. You could have told me angel dust was a fucking bee or something and i would have had to believe you. nothing about angel dust initially says spider, hell he dosent even have enough limps to be a fucking spider.

17. Carmilla carmine

are... are you supposed to be a rabbit...?

Big Yoai Hands

ballet fighting style, could have been cool, wish she fought more like sanji or chun li.

A single mom that works to hard, who loves her kids and never stops-

her song was decent, not great, decent. it feels as though the actress has experience singing but not in the way they tried to make her sing during her two songs. they have a obvious mexican influence, honestly just let her sing in spanish in the english dub. go listen to the spanish dub, "out for love" sounds great in spanish.

i wish i had more thoughts on them, fucking rip.

18. cherri bomb

that's not a punk aesthetic that's 2010s alt

decent character, they showed up once or twice i guess, no real thoughts.

19. egg boiz

absolutely perfect, i have not notes on them, these are perfect creatures.

20. Emily

im so fucking happy to see a singular blue character

does the naive dreamer bit better then charlie

We really shouldnt have seen her until the end of season two or middle of three.

good contrast with the other angels on screen.

Wait she is supposed to be black??? Where???

21. Husk

keith david you absolute delight, Why on gods green earth did they only give you one singing part?

one of the few charecters where its clear husk is a cat, i do like the kinda... marquee design, he is a magic cat, thats neat. i still think you can toss the wings and eyebrows and still have just as good of a charecter.

has a deeply intresting story of someone who died as a nobody, became the fat cat of hell and then was forced back to the bottom by their own vices, not used at fucking all.

huge potential, little pay off.

22. lillith

I know nothing about her except she ditched her kid and husband to vacation in heaven and i think thats kinda funny.

alot of werid things floating around her, again she shouldnt have been shown in the show at all until next season.

23. lucifer morningstar

no notes, funniest charecter, did a song based on friend like me.

few notes: i do like the idea that the immortal symbol of pride is a constant emotional wreckage constantly seeking approval through grand showmanship and manic energy that threatens to take over anything they touch.

would have liked more snake stuff on him, maybe some more goat things like horns.

that is such a stupid fucking staff lmao.

24. Adam.

alex brightman you absolute fucking delight, you should have had more songs.

I wish his design was more focused on the idea of him being a glam rock wash up

I fucking hate his mask

We shouldn't have met him until the end of the season.

25. Niffty

again she is supposed to be a bug or cockroach but nothing about her points to that.

token straight

keeps rocketing back and fourth between sexulization and infantilization

you had kimiko glenn but didnt give her a single fucking song?

26. Sir Pentious

the secret season one redeemed.

the pilot version of him felt more like someone that could do a season one redemption arc, a megalomaniac constantly attempting territory grabs, there is something you can work with, actual character flaws to work through.

essentially a child after the first episode.

actually a snake which i appreciate.

no where near steampunky enough.

27. the villians of the show dont make much sense, each one feels like they should be season long deals on their own instead of a bunch of team rocket esque idiots that show up on occasion, do a bad thing and then leave.

28. Valentino

gOD THERE IS SO MUCH RED

only a moth some of the time.

sucks as a villain, maybe they need more screen time to show why they suck in a more substantial way aside from being told that he sucks.

it is interesting that angel dust is only under his magical control when in the studio, it shows that angel dust has to make a conscious choice to return, which in turn can be made to show how abusers can draw back their victims. I do not think it was done well in this circumstance as it shows him to be cartoonishly evil, constantly flying back and fourth between sweet and utter psycho, there is no actual reason for angel dust to ever actually go back to the studio, he just does so every so often.

29. Vox

legit who cares? the only thing about him that is in any way substantial is all the dope ass fan art we get.

propaganda machine angle that is not explored at all, just hinted at. no actual barring on the story whatsoever.

why didn't he try to do the same shit as alastor by the way? he knows its bad if alastor gets in good with charlie so shouldn't it be a ass kissing race?

same body shape as literally every other male character.

tumblr sexy man version of pyrocynicals fursona.

30. Valvette

the actual poster child of the shows huge problem of "Show me, don't tell me".

apparently the glue that holds the villains together. never shown.

apparently the one that makes the love potions that valentino is famous for. had to learn about that in the fuckin wiki trivias

we know so much about her from things outside of the show.

was there to call carmilla a coward, that's her plot contribution. she shows up every now and again but its never anything substantial and serves to more around take up run time for people We Don't Need To Know Yet.

im not trying to be mean, animation is animation, we need smaller studios to have success in the industry so that other indie studios can have that success, felling a tree makes it easier for others to follow. showing that its possible to number brain rot exacs helps all animators.

but this show has so much bullshit attached to it, it has so much fucking potential that it fries my brain with unyielding frustration.

this took a bit to write, im tired, thanks for reading.

#hazbin hotel

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ao3commentoftheday · 5 months

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I've never orphaned a fic, but I'm glad AO3 has the option to do that. When I was in my late teens, I deleted all of my work from FFN because I thought I was done writing fanfic and for some reason got the idea into my head that it was dangerous to just leave them up, in case future employers or whoever found them. Even though I was writing very tame, mostly K+ and T rated stuff based on relatively uncontroversial original works. *facepalm*

Anyway, if I'd had the option to orphan my fics back then, I think I probably would have done that instead of deleting them. I wish it had been an option. I don't intend on ever orphaning what I'm writing now, but it makes me happy to know that if I ever did want to no longer be associated with it, I'd have the option to do that without taking it offline completely.

It's things like the orphan feature that really highlight the fact that AO3 was created and is maintained by fans. The people who volunteer there are also people who read fic and people who write fic. They get it.

Other features that I think are fantastic include, but are not limited to:

being able to have private bookmarks

being able to subscribe to a single fic, or to a fic series or to an author

the Fannish Next of Kin system whereby you can set a guardian for your fics in case of your death or incapacitation

site skins, which allow you to change the look and feel of the site to something that works best for you

the ability to have a pseudonym account on your main account, so if you want separate our your works that way you can

Tag Wranglers, who read all of the weird and wacky ways we tag our fics and make them searchable and filterable in the database

the search and filter capabilities!!

otp:true

the kudos feature, so I can still show love even when I don't have words

RSS feed capability

the ability to restrict access to my works and to restrict comments on my works

blocking and muting!

never having to click the Proceed button again

Anyone else have a favourite feature that I didn't list above? (if any of my points is new to you, lemme know - I'm always happy to do a deep dive)

#asks and answers

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asmosmainhoe · 4 months

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MC's eyes glow when they use magic

Hello ☆ I hope u're having a nice day :D I had one request for the Obey Me brothers kek, their reaction to an MC whose eyes glow when they use magic, and when they use the demons powers their eyes change color to the sin color (Ex. Red for Beel, Blue for Luci, etc) and it feels as if they connect with MC in a deeper level? Sorry if its too weird or specific! I've been enjoying reading your writings 🤗

-anon

Note: I'm so sorry that it's so short, love! I've been so busy preparing things for the holidays since I'm visiting my home country :'D

Gender: neutral

Warnings: heavy language

Lucifer

He loves the fact that your eyes glow in the color of his sin when you channel his magic

It fills him with pride to see how that makes the connection between you two so obvious for others

That's right. That's his power

"I must say that blue suits you wonderfully."

He's very casual about it, but he's definitely doing a small dancy dance of victory behind closed doors

Mammon

Of course he is head over heels for your glowing eyes when you channel his magic! They basically look like the shiniest coins he has ever seen!

Besides it makes it more than obvious that you guys have a pact together

"Fuck yea! That's my human over there!"

Please use his power so that people know you're fucking shit up with his help

Leviathan

Levi is absolutely geeking out over the fact that your fucking eyes glow when you use magic

I mean if that doesn't scream main character vibes then I don't know what does

He's so going to use that as inspiration for rpg's or headcanons/fanfictions in the future

And then they glow in his sin's color too when you channel his magic? It's so strangelt intimate that he can't help, but blush

Satan

Since he has read about it he's not really surprised by that, but it's still a huge difference to see it with his own eyes

Especially when he feels you channeling his powers and your eyes light up in his color

Seeing that makes Satan feel like someone punched him in the guts, but in a good way? If that makes sense?

Asmodeus

Your eyes are literally glowing in not only his magics colors, but it's also his absolute favorite one as well!

"MC, you look fantastic when you use my powers! Absolutely stunning!"

Asmo can't stop gushing about it and he always compliments you for an hour straight whenever it happens

This is what others must feel like when he's seducing them with his eyes

Beelzebub

Imagine you have this angry, skilled sorcerer person absolutely wreck your shit, because you wronged them, but their eyes also glow red?! How intimidating is that?

Unlike the person who is suffering under your magic, Beel is completely mesmerized

He can't find the right words to describe how wonderful you look with his color right now

It makes him forget about his hunger

Belphegor

Belphie is so smug about it and can and will rub it under everyone's nose

"Did MC use your magic? No, bitch. Their eyes were purple so sit down."

It's just a very nice and absolute confirmation for the fact that he is your favorite and that his magic was the most useful one to you in that moment

His brothers will never hear the end of it, because he keeps casually mentioning it at every given opportunity

---

Masterlist

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rockpaperimpala · 2 months

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So about Netflix's the Last Airbender....

I am literally so confused you guys. You made me think I would HATE this show. And I LOVED it. Me. Known perfectionist and hater.

Katara was lovely. Yes, she started as a more soft spoken character than her cartoon version, but she was still passionate and hopeful throughout, just visibly unsure of herself. I think people were thrown off by this actress' natural way of expressing herself, which is Different from animated katara for sure, but not bad. Then she spends the whole season growing in Confidence and Fire. I Adored her fight with Paku, it really did feel like a payout of the whole season's development, and the bending kicked ass!

The Bending Kicked ass!!! The martial arts was fun and fast and creative and exciting! It looked SO good. That alone would be enough reason for me to watch and enjoy any show.

Zuko's actor was fantastic. He really captured the rage and confusion of this 16 year old banished prince. And there were so many Added moments between him and Iroh wich to me enriched their relationship. Like YES! This is why I'm watching, to see more of them, to see things done a little differently.

Iroh facing the consequences of his actions at Ba Sing Se!! That's what I'm here for!

Zuko's relationship with the men on his ship! That's what I'm here for!

The Extra layers we get to Ozai manipulating his children!

Also no one is talking about Admiral Zhao, who I had SO much fun with. I feel like they slightly fleshed out his character in a really dramatic way, really developing the hubris and frankly insane grasping ambition of someone who would kill the moon. I completely enjoyed this wilder, less controlled version of him, who comes up through the season from basically nothing and no one!

I am OBSESSED with King BUMI and his anger and disillusionment with the world! Like this was SO real. Living a hundred years of futile war would do that!!!! It is one of my favorite changes to the whole series. This new layer of emotion and character depth is what I'm here for!

Sokka was SO funny. He literally had me laughing out loud so often. That actor GETs Sokka, and GETS the way his humor is delivered. And is also able to tap into the more vulnerable side of him. People said he was "obsessed" with leadership. WHAT? That is a young person trying desperately to do his best and to try and find his place in the world, to figure what he has to offer. I loved his pride at hearing the Mechanist say that he would make a good engineer, and the sweetness of the moment that Yue's father says that he can be a hero without being a warrior. Sokka does so much growth in this series, in understanding himself and life.

And his chemistry with Suki was adorable!! I even like him and Yue (who was a totally unexpected sweetheart, despite her terrible wig)!! Like he has that same ability that Sokka has in the original to Connect with people.

Aang was great! He WAS fun loving and sweet and funny. I don't know what you guys wanted. Cartoons are always bigger and more exaggerated than live action. People's eyes swell up an, birds fly around their heads, and there are funny sound effects. That larger than life quality is the strength of animation! You have to look for different strength in live action. Like the SUBTLETIES of the acting choices. This little actor brought so much kindness, innocence, and strength to Aang.

And I FELT his frustration at being asked to do this at 12, his fresh hope anytime it looked like someone more experienced would be able to help him and no one did, and that's why he didn't learn waterbending this season, because he kept waiting for an freaking ADULT to show him the way, to help him carry this immense burden, but every adult he meets asks him for help instead, asks him to carry it himself, and then the finale hits and he realizes that there won't be any adults helping, he does have figure this out himself, and he makes the hard choice, takes on responsibility more than his years and offers himself to the ocean spirit, and he might have been lost entirely if not for Katara!

And that counter running theme to the show pays off: that he doesn't have to do it alone. He may not have more experienced guidance, because the adults have let him down again and again, but his friends will be with him, and they will figure it out together!

This is there throughout the series! Katara tells him this about learning waterbending, when he says he still wants to wait. Bumi tells him this in the palace at Omashu, and Aang sees the faith he has in his friends repaid!

I like these changes! And the show still found time for silly fun adventures and character building moments.

The show was never going to be the animated original. That is already a Masterpiece, and it frankly did NOT need to be adapted at all. I did not WANT a live action adaptation. I was adamantly convinced I would hate it. But the changes that they netflix show gave are what I Iike most about it. If I want to see Zuko say "you rise with the moon, I rise with the sun," I will go watch the animated original, because that version is perfect. And now, if i want to see Zuko say "Lu ten would have been proud to have you as a father," and see iroh pull him into a tight hug, I can watch this live action version, which is very good too. I'm going to disagree with most of the people on here and say that the Netflix's Avatar: The Last Airbender, DOES capture the heart of what we liked about the original show. It's spirit, fun, excitement, and characters. And the changes made are the reason we should be watching.

#avatar the last airbender #natla

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antimony-medusa · 3 months

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See, the great fun with Pissa is I feel like any way you headcanon it you can make an arguable defence for it.

non-romantic, non-sexual QPR? Well they said with their mouths that it was platonic, and they're not THAT demonstrative. Kissing for a dare doesn't mean you kiss all the time. this can work. The important part is that they are A FAMILY look we got 4/4 family I'm weeping.

romantic, non-sexual QPR? Jumping to punch someone at the idea that they set up a date with your platonic husband? I see you. You are gonna be cuddling in bed later, aren't you.

QPR but they kiss and have sex? I saw you casualonasing on your husband, Phil. That was going to be picked up later, I just know it. Platonic just means you define it yourself, I'm picking up what you're laying down. Fucking but you're aro about it. Based honestly.

Romantic relationship and yes they fuck nasty? Okay with the people on this server including Wilbur and Baghera I would also loudly insist that my relationship was platonic so nobody asked me what my husband's dick looked like. I don't know I've never seen it and it's never been in my mouth. Don't ask me these things. Nope. (Meanwhile torrid romance.) I can track it.

They fully don't know what it is, it's just an arranged marriage that's turning into something new when they see each other every so often? Based. Who needs labels anyways. I will tag it as &/ and take my chances. I bet they held hands when they were sleeping.

There's nothing tender feelings happening Phil is simply gay4pay. Honestly I've only seen one person advocating this but it is so funny to me. You get that bag, Philza Minecraft. Missa staring pleadingly at his government-assigned-husband while Phil counts his pieces of leather and thinks about escape. Fantastic.

That's the glory of Minecraft roleplay, you fully get to fill in the blanks! The important thing is WE WIN THESE with all of yesterday.

#qsmp #qsmp shipping #qsmpshipping #pissa #philza

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gglitch1dd · 2 months

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The way I just can’t help but thirst over dilf deku like MMMM that man is SCRUMPTIOUS. Slight grey hair, dad bod, doting & flirty personality id create an army of babies for him 🤤🙏🏾

Finally, people who speak my language.

The moment I thought from the point of, Izuku being a dad, I instantly knew my ovaries were exploding.

DILF MIDORIYA IZUKU

Warning: Some NSFW, breeding kink, pregnancy kink, Izuku loves to eat his wife

Dilf Izuku, who is as big as a tank. Quite literally becomes one of the biggest guys in the room. After marrying you, people notice that he starts to pick up weight but he also looks happier. He's a big man who's big body can now encase you in his protective embrace and hold up all his kids hanging from his body at the same time.

Dilf Izuku who always answers questions about his dad bod as "I'm not fat, I'm happy."

Dilf Izuku who would marry you a thousand times over just over your cooking. Who begs for bentos everywhere he goes, just to boast about he's wife's cooking and collect all the sticky note messages you leave behind. He's never satisfied by anything that isn't your cooking and best believe its the number one thing that gets him going.

"Honey you should have heard what he said to me." Your husband complained as he paced back and fourth in your kitchen as you took out the gyoza (dumplings) from the pan and onto the plate next to you. You let out a hum as you nodded your head to what he was saying. "Honestly, if the Commission President wasn't there, I was going to kill him." Your large green haired husband continued to ramble. "I mean, who the hell does he think he is, sweetie?! I don't want to toot my own horn but I've easily got thirty years of experience on that guy and-"

You shut up your husband as you stuffed a dumpling into his mouth with chopsticks, you having to stand on the tips of your toes and stretch just to reach him. Izuku paused as he chewed on the pork dumpling you had made.

Green eyes rolled back as a groan stumbled out of his lips. He nodded his head as he continued to chew. He motioned to the plate you were holding. "These... these are fantastic. You're amazing, honey." He stated as he grabbed the plate away from you to sit down at the kitchen island table, satisfied. Happily munching his way into a food coma.

Dilf Izuku who always takes up to four months off of paternity leave anytime you give birth to one of his army of boys. He doesn't care if it knocks him down a few places in the rankings, it's the best time he ever has when he can bond with you and the new bundle of joy you've both created.

Dilf Izuku who becomes the envy of every mom in your children's schools because despite being the Number One Hero, he still makes time to sometimes pick up the kids and show up at PA meetings. Sometimes even replacing you.

Dilf Izuku who can often be found rough housing with the boys in the sitting room or outside, playing catch, rugby (sorta like american football), teaching them how to ride a bike or just playing in the pool. He's determined to make so many memories with his boys like he never had with his dad.

Dilf Izuku who treats you (somehow) even more like royalty whenever your pregnant. He can't stop holding you, or touching you, or praising you.

Dilf Izuku who has the biggest smirk on his face when for your third son, its the first time you are ever present at a Heroes' Gala, whilst pregnant and he has you dressed in the most beautiful gown showered in comfortable luxury because, Yes, You are the Number One Heroe's wife.

Dilf Izuku who is absolutely disgusting. Who can't help but love on you, kiss you, lick you, grope you, even when you're in public.

Dilf Izuku who holds you up on his cock when the kids are asleep, whispering sweet nothings to you as your small body tries to take all of him inside of you but it always feels like too much.

Dilf Izuku who loves slow morning love making. Where he can just hold you in his big arms, kiss you like you were made from the stars and slowly thrust in and out of you, savoring every second. He's breathless and hungry for you, and looks down at you filled with nothing but love for you.

Dilf Izuku that refuses to leave on month long missions without eating you out till your shaking and twitching afterwards, because he wants to savour your cries and moans for when its one of those long nights and he's missing you.

Dilf Izuku who finally dusts his hands (because you asked) of the baby making and calls the both of you done after five boys together. Who agrees to get a vasectomy because he doesn't want you to ever do or add something to your body that could harm you.

Dilf Izuku who's genuinely shocked when its announced you'll have a sixth child and is even more shocked when a girl pops out instead of another boy.

Dilf Izuku who plans to retire the moment your eldest son, who has taken One for All and would be the next symbol of peace, is past a sidekick and can take over. Who just wants to focus on his loving wife and amazing kids.

Dilf Izuku who takes his daughter to her first ever ballet class after retiring, the sides of his hair more grey than white, and all he can see is how beautiful she is because she looks so much like you.

-Glitch1d

#izuku midoriya x reader #mha x y/n #mha #deku x reader #izuku x reader #izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku #izuku midoriya smut #midoriya x reader #midoriya smut #izuku midoryia smut #dilf izuku midoriya #dilf deku #dilf midoriya #dilf mha

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kathaynesart · 5 months

Text

Replica Holiday Special Winners!

Happy Holidays everyone! It's that time of year and you know what that means! Time to announce the winners for the DTIYS Replica Holiday Special Cover!

I received so many wonderful submissions. Far more than I had anticipated! They were all so unique and creative and it was an absolute joy to look at each and every one of them! I really underestimated however how difficult it would be to choose with them all being so unique from each other. In the end, I decided to gauge the top picks on how well their cover captured the "essence" of what this Special is going to be like! Without further ado, here are the winners.

HONORABLE MENTION - @matchstique

Buddy! I love this piece so dang much! It has so much character and perfectly displays the wacky hijinks we can expect as well as the huge amount of stress our poor boys are under during these trying, pregnancy times. The movement and colors work so well and make me excited for what comes next! Seldom do I see pregnant females shown as the badasses they are, but you have gone and turned Cassandra into an absolute icon with this piece! Bless you!

3RD PLACE - @thegunnsara

Sara, the shear amount of craft you put into your art is STAGGERING. Every scuff on Raph's shell and wisp of smoke screams of a quality I can only hope to attain someday. I literally want to be you when I grow up! That said, the concept of this piece is also fantastic. One of the things I'm must excited about for this Special is getting to see Raph and Casey as they were and witnessing the strong bond they share. I love them dearly and this cover captures their strength and tenacity so perfectly. Gods among men.

2ND PLACE - @cupcakeslushie

Slushie, this cover is so damn fun and dynamic that I can't stop looking at it! Your attention to detail and composition are masterful and the fact that you could fit such a bombastic battle into such a limited space speaks to how crazy talented you are! You also do a wonderful job of retaining both the intensity of the apocalypse but also that playful edge that Rise always manages to retain! It's definitely the cover that would catch my eye on a shelf and make me want to turn the page to see what happens next!

1ST PLACE - @abbeyofcyn

Cyn, the moment I saw this cover, I gasped! It's funny because this is both a piece I could have totally seen myself doing had I done the cover, yet crafted in a unique way I could have never come up with on my own! On top of that, this slick composition scratches my little designer brain juuust right. The use of the hands motif is such a great element because to me, it encapsulates the conflicting themes of family/parenthood with the drama of what it means to be human. On top of that, having each character as one of the digits both connected to and encircling Casey is such a wonderful touch that really drives the symbolism home. Somehow, you managed to peer into the future and perfectly capture how the finale of this special is going to feel. Thank you so much Cyn for such a wonderful piece!

~~~~~~~~~

Now that I think about it, looking back on these winners as a set, all four them actually do an amazing job as individual covers for each of the four "acts" that will make up this special. That was not at all my intention, but it kind of worked out perfectly for that. Gets me all emotional!

I also definitely want to put a spotlight on the other amazing submissions, many of which made it SO close to the top slots! I was going to post these pieces individually but I was worried people wouldn't then go to their blogs to view the covers, so instead have a compilation and links to the full versions! Please check out everyones amazing covers and give them some love. They all worked really hard and it means so much to me. Thank you everyone!

@dreamundraws - LINK @honeylief - LINK @gemini-forest - LINK @memorydarkness - LINK @skullythefriendlyskullface - LINK @v-albion - LINK @its-wabby-stuff - LINK @yris-latteyi - LINK @reagi-df - LINK @chaoscontrol50 - LINK / LINK @murasakibonnet - LINK @hitwiththetmnt - LINK @xandriagreat - LINK @karonkar - LINK @sunydays - LINK (sorry my dear, yours did not appear on my hashtag reference at first! D: But still love it!) @quailaz - LINK @delicatechildwitch - LINK

Thank you again all of you! You all did such an amazing job!

#replica dtiys #replica #rottmnt replica #holiday speical #rottmnt #save rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #not my art

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alessiasfreckles · 2 months

Note

14 leah plsss xoxoxo

the ways i love you - leah williamson x reader

14. A kiss to the stomach

warnings: negative body image

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You sighed, looking at yourself in the mirror. You had bought a new bikini for your holiday with Leah, wanting something cute to wear at the pool or on the beach.

You loved Leah with all your heart, but sometimes dating a professional footballer was hard. Especially when you were very much not a professional footballer and enjoyed chocolate a little more than you should. She was incredibly attractive, and her body was just amazing, but occasionally you'd catch yourself comparing your bodies, which you knew wasn't fair.

She would tell you that as well - that it was unfair and unrealistic to expect your body to look like that of a professional athlete, and that she loved the way your body looked, not just because it was gorgeous, stunning, sexy, but because it was your body.

Still, you'd catch yourself frowning when you saw your reflection, especially next to hers, and lately you'd been having to make an extremely conscious effort to not talk or think negatively about your body.

You turned, looking at yourself from the side in the mirror. You knew, logically, that most girls and afab people carried some fat on their stomach. That it wasn't anything unusual, or anything to be ashamed of. You poked your stomach with a grimace, watching it in the reflection.

Leah's voice echoed in your head, telling you how beautiful you were, and you rolled your eyes. As if she could read your mind, Leah poked her head around the bedroom door.

"Woah, look at you!" she said when she saw what you were wearing, whistling appreciatively. "Baby, you look fantastic! Is that a new bikini?"

You covered your stomach with your arms self-consciously, shrugging. "Yeah, I got it for our holiday. But I don't know, I might return it."

"What, why?" she asked, walking over to you and stopping a few feet away to look you up and down again. Her eyes lingered on your chest and legs, pausing at your arms covering your stomach.

You shrugged again. "I just, I feel too, I dunno, exposed? I don't think this is the right kind of thing for my body."

"I think it's exactly the right kind of thing for your body," Leah said firmly, then hesitated. "Can... Can I do something?"

You squinted at her suspiciously. "What?"

"Can you lie down on the bed for me? I just want to see if I can help make you feel better," she explained. When you raised an eyebrow her cheeks pinkened slightly. "Not sex! I mean, I'm happy to make you feel better that way, too, but that's not what I had in mind."

"Uh-huh," you said, smirking at her, but you got on the bed anyway, lying down.

"Can you close your eyes for me?" she asked. "If you want me to stop, just say, okay?"

You nodded, eyes closed, and felt Leah climb onto the bed, near your legs. You jumped when her hands brushed your calves and thighs, stroking them, massaging them.

"I love your legs," she started. "I love your legs because they're beautiful and they're yours, but I also love them because they're strong. They let you walk, run, swim. They're powerful. They help hold you up."

She placed kisses up and down each leg gently, the soft touch making your heart swell with love. Then she moved to your arms, straddling you to reach both easily. You grinned as she straddled you, and you could feel her laughing above you.

"This is not sexual, remember? Not yet at least," she said, and you could hear the smirk in her voice. She touched each arm, in a similar fashion to how she'd touched your legs, caressing them gently. "Anyway, where was I? Oh, your arms, and your hands. I love your arms. I love how soft your skin is, the dimple by your elbows. I love them because they let you hold my hand, they let you hug me, they let you do all sorts of things to me. Your arms are strong, like your legs, they're powerful and beautiful."

Your throat felt tight, like you were going to cry. Leah kissed your arms, making her way from your shoulders to your wrists.

"Your hands are so perfect. They fit in mine like we were made for each other, like two puzzle pieces linking together. Your hands do so many amazing things," she continued, and kissed each fingertip, then the palms of your hands.

You felt her body weight shift as she moved down, sitting on your thighs. You tensed as her hands came to rest on your stomach, aware of every movement she made, everywhere her hands touched.

"I love your stomach. I love how it looks, I love that it's soft, it's so beautiful and attractive. I love that if i touch it a certain way, like this, it makes your stomach feel like it's flipping and it makes you giggle," she said, brushing her hand over your stomach to prove her point, making you jump and smile when your stomach flipped. "I love that it lets you eat yummy food, that it makes so many noises at night when we're going to sleep, that one day our baby will be in there."

You felt a tear leak out of your closed eyes as she pressed kisses to your stomach, gently, as if she was worried about breaking you. Sniffling a little, you opened your eyes when you felt her move off you, coming closer to you.

"Oh, I didn't mean to make you cry," she said, wiping away your tears with the back of her hand.

"No, no, it's okay," you shook your head. "They're good tears."

"Oh, phew! I was worried," she smiled, stroking your cheek softly. "I love you. I love all of you, all of your body, all of your brain, so so much."

"I love you, too," you said, and she leant forward, kissing you, her lips soft against yours.

"And, I really do like this bikini," she said as she pulled back. She winked and reached down to the string on the side of the bikini, pulling it open. "It really does look amazing on you. But... I think it'd look even better off."

#hannah writes blurbs #leah williamson #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson fanfic #leah williamson imagine #leah williamson blurb #leah williamson fluff #woso imagine #woso #woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso fanfic #woso one shot #woso fluff #woso oneshot #woso blurb

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jaylver · 11 months

Text

GORGEOUS — P.SH

PART TWO

SYNOPSIS: Social events bore you, but this time, your mother somehow managed to drag you to one. Thankfully, your mother’s friend’s son was there to keep you company, and God, he was gorgeous.

PAIRINGS: sunghoon x afab!reader

GENRE: strangers to lovers, romance

WARNING(S): mentions of alcohol, profanities

A/N: first hoon fic on here 🫶 hope it wasn't too bad cause i feel like it isn't the best 😭 do give feedbacks !!

You contemplated whether agreeing to your mother’s invite was a good idea or not.

It was a Saturday night, your mother had dragged you out to an event her friend was holding, promising you of a fun night that would be a better option than staying home. She’s wrong by the way. Nevertheless, you said yes to it a little stupidly, not knowing that she had a trick under her sleeve.

The house was impressive to say the least. The garden had a lounge area that you most definitely would escape to later on, the inside was decorated prettily and a variety of food were on display, alcohol included. Upon arriving, there were already some people there. Apparently, it was a small gathering with your mother and her friends who’ve brought their children along as well, thus explaining your mother’s invitation. You weren’t up for socializing, but you were forced to now.

You recognized some of your mother’s friends and their kids, greeting them politely. The moment you’ve gotten the green light to grab food and escape the awkwardness of standing silently next to your mother, you bolted to find the food and expensive alcohol.

You got a plate of food, settling down on the lounge area outside, getting away from the group of people that were around your age almost immediately and effectively. Hey, it’s awkward making new friends, cut some slack! You were texting your friend anxiously, hoping for some company even if it meant virtually, completely unaware of a new presence entering your vicinity.

You looked up from your phone, chewing your bread stick with vigor as you noticed a lanky man taking a seat right in front of you, his eyes glued to the screen of his phone in his hand. You blinked, eyes wandering his face and taking in every detail. He was … gorgeous. The moles adorning his features had you swooning, there was a certain gentleness to him that you could sense. God, you were whipped and he was someone you knew nothing about.

He probably sensed you staring and glanced up, dark brown eyes looking in yours, you felt like you might sink and drown and die. You couldn’t say anything to his face, ’cause look at his face! It was enough to catch you off guard completely.

He smiled wordlessly, nodding courteously at you.

You didn’t know who this man was, but he has already ruined your life, by not being yours.

All you could do was take a big gulp of your wine, hoping the alcohol would somehow calm you down. You were flustered by him, a total stranger that you must talk to before the night ends.

Your plate of food was almost gone, the cup of wine was nearly finished from your copious gulps. You didn't need a mirror to know your face was turning red and you were getting tipsy. It was a good thing you could handle your alcohol.

"You okay there?" The man before you spoke up, his head tilted to the side.

He was talking to you? You. Alcohol wasn't enough to mask your nervousness at this point.

"Yeah," you breathed out, trying to get your shit together.

He simply nodded, a small smile on his lips. "I'm Sunghoon,"

"Auntie Park's son? Park Sunghoon?" You remembered your mother talking about him, how he was a great student and a fantastic figure skater, but also an even better candidate for a boyfriend, which was probably your mother's plan of dragging you here.

"That's me," he grinned. "You're Y/N, right? I think my mum mentioned you before,"

You raised an eyebrow in surprise, but it wasn't entirely shocking either considering your mother mentioned him to you as well … a lot. 'Hoon is a sweetheart' 'Hoon is a handsome guy', Hoon this Hoon that, you couldn't believe you had to wait this long to meet the 'Hoon' your mother wouldn't stop talking about, the one who she also wished you would get with. Now you know why.

"Right," you nodded, feeling lightheaded and you didn't know it was because of him or the alcohol. Maybe both. "I heard you're studying Chemical Engineering,"

"Yes, I am," oh, you love a hot man with brains.

"Heard it's hard to study, and it takes up a lot of your time, do you even manage to bag anyone with the amount of workload?" You wished you could've just straightforwardly asked "do you have a girlfriend" instead of running in a circle.

"You're saying I have no game? Is this how you talk to the people you first meet?" Sunghoon laughed humorously, taking a swig out of his can of beer.

"Only the ones I'm interested in," you grinned slightly, unaware of your confidence rising on its own.

"Oh? To answer your question, nah, I'm … not with anyone currently,"

"Really?"

"You seem shocked,"

"I am. You're too pretty to be not taken,"

"Pretty?"

"You are pretty," you blinked, his gaze unwavering as he stared at you, and you wished you could be next to him instead of having a table in between.

"Nobody has ever said that to me before," he was slightly taken aback, but you could see the sparks in his eyes.

"I'll be the first," you raised your beer can at him, seeing an amused smirk slowly making its way to his face.

"You're pretty too," Sunghoon's eyes swept your figure, his heated gaze made you nearly cower.

"Why thank you,"

"You study law, don't you? My mum said that,"

"Yes, I do. I'm still hanging on somehow,"

"Beauty with brains," he noted, eliciting a chuckle from you.

"You're really cute, Hoonie,"

"You think so?"

You hummed in response, your eyes never leaving his, taking in every feature of his. You needed to get to know this man further, you couldn't just let him go.

"Y/N!" you heard your mother screech for you out of the blue, her figure approaching from a distance. You could see her eyes widening in surprise as she noticed who you were sitting with, a sly grin creeping on.

"Sunghoon!" Your mother greeted him. "Glad to see you two getting along. Sorry to crash, but the others are gathering inside for something and you guys should come by too. There's cake as well, dear,"

"We'd love to be there," Sunghoon replied, a polite smile adorning his face.

"Yeah, totally," you clapped your hands together, internally wishing you could spend more time with him than having to be around people you didn't know.

Sticking to your mother was the better option, listening to some random auntie’s tea as their daughter typed away on their phone. You didn’t know where your future boyfriend and soulmate—sorry, Sunghoon—was, maybe he was with his mother, but you didn’t care, or you tried not to, resorting to playing hard to get instead, talking to everyone but him.

It was hard, his magnetic field was a little too strong, drawing you in whenever he got closer, somehow shifting near to you, eventually joining you and your mother’s small group, but nobody paid his presence any attention, continuing their gossiping. You shot him a small smile, acknowledging him, his side basically pressed against yours.

“Hi,” he whispered, smiling just enough to have his dimples winning you over.

“Hi,” you snorted, bumping his shoulder with yours.

“Wanna ditch?” he suggested, a slight hint of playfulness in his gaze.

“Lead the way,”

His hand brushed against yours, testing the waters before sensing the green light from you and intertwining his hand with yours, making sure to take that as an advantage to pull you closer to his side. “Where do you wanna go?”

“Anywhere is fine,” you said, standing in front of his car now, the house far away. “You drove here?”

“I did, I don’t live with my mum,” he shrugged casually. “Speaking of mums, I already told yours beforehand and got her permission,”

“You planned on taking me out tonight?” you raised an eyebrow at him, a sneaky grin making its way onto your lips.

“I wanted to know you better,” he threw his hands up in defense, caught red handed indeed. “Let’s drive around and I’ll drop you off after?”

“Sounds good.”

Driving around the neighborhood and spilling your hearts out was something you needed in a long time. Sunghoon was a listener, a great one even. He eventually parked his car a few blocks down the road from your house, a short moment of quietness filled the gap between you two, and you were too busy staring at him, a million thoughts filled your head, but the words that left your lips were hard to be stopped when you were tipsy.

“I’m mad,”

Sunghoon looked over at you, curiosity painted on his face. “About what?”

“About you. You’re too gorgeous,”

“I’m mad too,” Sunghoon leaned over, closing in the distance between you and him. “I can’t believe you’re not mine yet,”

You rolled your eyes, a small grin appearing as you poked his cheek. “We can change that … but I’m more of a candlelit dinner first kinda girl,”

“Next Saturday?”

“You have my promise,”

Sunghoon nodded, pleased and victorious, fighting back the urge to break out in a big smile and maintain his cool guy facade. “It’s getting late,”

“It is, I think I should go and you should definitely drive home before it gets too late,” you were quite reluctant to end the night with goodbye, wanting to see more of him despite having a date planned already.

“Wait,” you were about to reach for the handle and step out when Sunghoon stopped you. “I haven’t got your number yet,”

“I wrote it down on a paper and it’s in the cupholder,” you pointed at the place where you'd hidden the tiny paper earlier, knowing he would ask so you just had to be one step ahead. “Goodnight, Hoonie. Text me.” you quickly leaned over and pressed a haste kiss on the corner of his lips, feeling yourself turning red gradually.

Sunghoon broke into the biggest smile, grinning like an idiot with his dimples displayed, a cute one. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

He was so gorgeous it made you experience countless emotions, and his personality was equally pretty, just the perfect cherry on top. Your mother’s plan on getting you two together definitely worked, you were ready to make him yours.

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permanentswaps · 25 days

Text

Breaking Eric's Trust - A Year On

Read Part 1, written by vice versa swaps, here.

Read Part 2, written by me, here.

A year has passed since Will and I made the decision to permanently stay swapped, and I've never been happier. It's like living a dream every day, waking up in this body that is this sexy and feels like it was tailor-made for me.

A few weeks after Will and I made our choice to stay in our new bodies, news broke that the body swap lab had shut down. Apparently, there were people refusing refused to swap back, leaving their partners stranded in their old bodies. I guess the police had to intervene in some cases, to force them to switch back. Thank god Will didn’t feel that way and we avoided that whole mess. Looking back on it, I don’t think there’s any world in which I would have given up this perfect face and these perfect pecks.

When I heard about the lab's closure, I couldn't help but smirk as I looked at myself in the mirror. I immediately took out my phone and began recording a video to send to Will. Slowly playing with my waistband, I quickly whipped out my cock and begain stroking. As I stroked with my right hand, I began feeling up my chest with my left hand and said in a low voice,

“Unghhh, yeah. you like that Will? Regretting your choice to abandon this sexy body yet? Too bad, lab’s shut down and I am officially going to be Bryce LaMontagne forever.”

I picked up the pace, making direct eye contact with the camera as I shot my hot, young spunk all across my phone. Licking it off slowly, I then hit send.

Months passed, and I started university, moving in with Eric. To his surprise I decided to pursue a studio art degree. Although he knew about my fellowship, I think he thought that it was more just to keep busy. That said, I really seemed to be excelling and my professors told me that I had the makings of a real artists. But I also took up a double major in business, drawing on my past experience as an accountant, just to be safe.

Living with Eric again has been fantastic – we’ve grown as close as brothers. Sometimes, I hardly remember that he used to be my son. We often find ourselves hanging out and talking late most nights. Together, we've also been hitting the gym hard, sculpting our bodies and enjoying the attention it brings.

Eric's found himself a stunning girlfriend, which is no surprise considering how much effort he puts into his physique. And as for me, well, let's just say I've become quite the catch on campus. Although Eric gives me shit for it, I have a rotating door of guys coming to our apartment to pound me. And how could they not with an ass like this. That said, all of those guys still pale in comparison to the fucking that I used to get from Will. Maybe its just that I can fantasize about having stolen his sexy body from him or something, but I haven’t shot my load like that with anyone else since. And although we promised to link up from time to time, we haven’t been together since that fateful day a year ago. Regardless, I still make sure to flaunt my body when Will comes to town, and lately, I have been openly flirting with him in front of Eric. While Eric has given me some strange looks, I think I'm making some headway in gaining his approval. I can only hope that one day he trusts me enough to be able to fuck his dad guilt free.

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bobbile-blog · 1 month

Text

Okay so I've finally gotten to Jessicalter's Oprec and now feel qualified to talk about Come Catastrophes or Wakes of Vultures. holy shit. This went straight into my list of top Arknights events. Fantastic event, spoilers will be under the cut so I HIGHLY RECOMMEND reading the event first. It's really good and worth your while.

Anyway, what follows is a scattered mess of thoughts about this event and things that stuck out to me.

First off, plot stuff! I'll probably cover this when I do my next plotline recap post, but what I took away from the end is that Clip Cliff seems to want to make Blacksteel independent, or at least more self-determining than it is now. He seems to be gathering resources and assets like mobile city plates and investing in long-term infrastructure like merc training, so he definitely has a long game he's pushing for. I don't think we know enough go speculate about his goals, but we'll definitely be coming back here again. After all, Tila has an infection monitor in her art, which probably means she's going to be playable at some point in the future.

Next, having looked into this a little on my own, I was interested in some of the previous places Raythean has shown up. Specifically, the ones that stood out were the drones in the Kazimierz Major and arming Silverash's forces in Kjerag, which might be referring to the Tschäggättä. It's not just notable for their apparent level of technology, but also as a faint connecting thread between three separate capitalism plotlines. I don't know if that's going to be meaningful in the future, but I found it interesting enough that I thought I'd bring it up.

Now on to more narrative things. While I love Liskarm and Franka, I do think it was the right choice to give them less screen time in this event. They're both (for the most part) fully-realized characters who understand their own motivations and morals. This is above all else an event about Jessica learning to stand on her own as an adult, so it makes sense that they're more here to support her than they are to play their own roles in the story.

Speaking of said roles, I liked the event's commentary on cops. It pointed out an interesting distinction that I wouldn't really have ever thought of, that between mercenaries and cops. To start: cops exist to protect property, not people. The police exist to protect things and do not have an obligation to err on the side of people over things, and in fact are supposed to do the opposite. This event understands that, and that role os the core of how the bank treats the Blacksteel mercs. CV, however, raises an interesting point that mercenaries are bound by the letter of a contract and not the larger obligation to property cops are, so they can actually raise moral objections and point to their contracts, sort of a Lawful Evil/Lawful Neutral to cops' Neutral Evil. The independence of their position with respect to cops allows for more of an independent morality than you'd get in a cop story and I like that, I think it's a really smart direction to take your writing in.

On a (mostly) separate note, holy shit Arknights is really good at writing cowboy stories. Between this and chapter 9 (and I would argue An Obscure Wanderer), Arknights has repeatedly made it clear that they Do Not Fuck Around with their cowboy stories and I'm surprised I haven't heard more people talking about it. It kinda has everything:

- It takes place in a rural, working-class setting undergoing a larger imminent societal shift that can inform the larger narrative, and deals with a semi-mythologized past that is rapidly disappearing.

- It has a protagonist and an antagonist that serve as foils, both very heavily affected and defined by the (same) violence in their past that they've both had different reactions to. Our protagonist has come to terms with the violence as a tool to maintain order, while our antagonist has used it for personal gain and in some ways lost control of it.

- It's a story about community, and heavily emphasizes local and personal community over larger artificial corporate "community". That's my reading of the recurring motif of the cold btw, warmth represents the close, personal community Davistown used to have and the cold that now pervades it comes from how the bank has systematically dismantled that community.

- And, I'd argue most importantly, it understands the narrative power of a bullet. The Showdown at the end of a cowboy story is powerful because we've spent the entire runtime of our story with these characters, and they are now facing each other down with the intent to end one of their collective two stories. The entire weight of the narrative so far comes to rest on a single moment of tension. It's really hard to gather up the kind of narrative momentum you need to make that hit like it does in CV. For example, it requires a really light hand with actual action in the story, so that it really does feel like it's an even standoff between our protagonist and antagonist. On the other hand, though, you do actually have to establish the relative skill of both parties and actually sell the danger of the moment to the audience. It's really hard to toe the line between tension and actual action in a way that makes for a satisfying resolution, and CV does it extremely well.

Honestly, Arknights just seems really good at getting the vibes of American media right. This is something I noticed in DV and Lonetrail too, and I haven't really been able to put my finger on what it is about them, but the vibes are just really on-point. I want to write more about this at a later point once I actually figure out what it is that I'm feeling, but maybe it's the setting, maybe it's the cast, maybe it's the plot points, maybe it's something in between — it just seems to understand the spirit of period cowboy stories in a way that I can't describe. Good shit.

Finally, I wanna end this with where Jessica is now. The events of CV take place In between the events of Loneterail and Ideal City, so the current "now" of the story is a few months ahead. Jessica left for the frontier along with Woody, Helena, and Miles. They live together in a small new settlement, building the place from the ground up with Woody and Jessica acting as town sherrifs. At the point we're at now, rhe town is fairly well-established and Woody has temporarily left on other business, leaving Jessica the sole sherrif of their new settlement. However, she's risen to her new station, and is growing into a stronger person than she ever was before.

#arknights #come catastrophes or wakes of vultures #jessica the liberated #Arknights thoughts

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scenteddelusion5 · 2 months

Note

Yay requests open? If you don't wanna do this it's perfectly fine I understand!

It's an alastor x Fem reader who was his co-host in life

A Single Radio Wave

Alastor x fem co-host reader

Note: I love this idea!!!

Word count: 1977

The Radio Demon's reputation had spread far and wide in hell, yet it never spread beyond this retched place. Everyone in hell knew of the radio host, knew of his broadcasts and they were scared of him. Demons were intrigued and scared by radio's, they were the cursed items of that demon after all.

But up in heaven everyone looked forward to relaxing at home and listening to the old-timey device. After all, the Radio Angel's broadcasts were the hight of most people's already fantastical days. Everyone adored her, she was without a doubt the most loved angel in heaven; kind, sweet, intelligent, funny, witty, looks. She had it all. And yet, her amazing reputation never spread beyond the golden gates. This divide meant that neither one knew what their love was up to in dead. Still, they both looked back on their days together fondly.

It happened when Alastor's last co-host had been in an accident and they were looking for a new hire, that a knock came from the door. William, his intern opened it to reveal a charming young woman.

"Hey, I'm sorry to bother you but do you mind if I wait out the storm inside?" She asked and as if to help her cause, a thunder bolt struck at the top of his tower.

"Come in." Alastor walked up behind William and let the girl in. " We can't let a lovely young woman like you stand outside in the rain. Would you like a cup of joe? William was just making some."

"If I'm not intruding." She took of her drenched coat and sat down in a chair.

"Of course not." William ran off into the small kitchen while the radio host talked to her. "The name is Alastor, it's a pleasure to meet you." He held out his hand.

She shook it. "Y/n, Y/n L/n. And it's a pleasure to meet you too."

After William had left, the two were still talking at the table.

Y/n's eyes looked around the room. "So you're a radio host. How do you find it? Do you like it?"

"It's amazing, my dear. We have a few odd hours and I had to train my voice, but I quite like it." Alastor had been looking the girl up and down. She was very beautiful, had a good voice and they had an entertaining conversation. This Y/n had the potential to become his new co-host. "And what about you?"

"I... Was just fired today. My boss decided that a 'sweeter' face would pull more clients in. It's a dinner, what do my looks matter?!"

"The man sounds like a handful."

"Oh believe me, he is," she sighed.

"Hey," Alastor started, "how would you feel like starting a career as my co-host, the position just opened."

This surprised the woman. Female radio hosts weren't unheard of, however, they weren't at all common. There were also a lot of limitations put on them.

"I would love too but I don't think I would be any hood at it." She took a sip of her cup.

"I'm sure you'll be great." Alastor hyped her up. " How about you come in tomorrow for a practice round and if it suits you, you'll become a permanent employee?"

"You know what? Why not? I'll be here tomorrow." Y/n agreed.

" 7 am sharp starts the broadcast, be here at least half an hour before that. I'll see you tomorrow then, dear?"

"Yes, see you tomorrow."

And that's how Alastor had found his new co-host and future wife.

Not everyone was happy with Alastor's new coworker. Either people disagreed with having a female host all together or they were jealous that SHE was his new 'radio partner' as Alastor calls it. The man was considered a fine bachelor after all and girls all across New Orleans fawned over him.

During the first year of her employment, Y/n and Alastor grew closer and closer. Until one day, he popped the question.

"Y/n, I've known you for a year now and you are by far the most dazzling woman on earth. It would be an honour if you would give me the chance to court you." Alastor stared lovingly into her eyes as they lid up.

"Of course I want you to court me! You really know how to keep a lady waiting." She pulled him by the arm into a big hug.

His face adorned a bashful red hue while he brought his hand to pat her head. He truly was in love and it couldn’t feel better.

It didn't take long for him to pop the question after that and the two shared the news of their engagement to the whole city. Walking through the street, Y/n got a few jealous glares while on her way to her newly shared home.

Alastor was waiting on her in the kitchen making his mother's jambalaya. "And what was my favourite radio host up to?" He asked.

His fiancé, god he loved thinking about how she was HIS now, put a bag on the kitchen table and started rummaging through it. "You know that new shop that opened up down the street? I found this." She held up a little yellow romper.

"Dear, isn't it way too early to shop for baby clothes?" He chuckled picking up the small clothing article. "We aren't even married yet."

"I know Ally." She smiled at the very feminine and cutesy nickname she once called him and then just stuck. "But I'm ready, ready for our own perfect little family."

'Perfect'. Oh if only she knew, she knew what Alastor was up to while he was 'hunting'. But no, he will never show that side to her. He couldn’t imagine the look on her face, the heartbreak... No she was perfect and deserved only happiness and he would give her the world if she asked.

Their wedding was beautiful. Alastor cried seeing his wife in her wedding dress. They celebrated into the night and again when they got home. Alas, their marriage didn’t last for long.

During one of Alastor's 'hunt' in the woods he heard a bunch of dogs approaching. He ran and ran, and then, there was a gunshot.

Everything went white, then black and lastly red. Red? It was a sky. Looking around he saw a city filled with demons, he was in hell. Alastor saw his own reflection in a puddle, he looked different. His pretty dark hair and brown skin was replaced with red and grey, on top of his head stood fuzzy ears and antlers? Looking at his new appearance he wondered if Y/n would like it....

Y/n... Would he ever see her again? Probably not, she was perfect, his love would get into heaven while he was doomed to be away in this hellfire pit. But maybe, just maybe there was a chance she would be cast down too and if that were to happen, he had to made sure he was able to protect her. So, the Radio Demon was born. A demon willing to do anything to gain more power.

Years went by and Alastor thought about his wife every single day. Did she find out about his murders? Did she hate him for it? Did she become a cast out because of it?

After decennia of not getting a single sign of ever being reunited with Y/n, he gave up. That was, until the princess of hell got on television and told all of hell about her 'Happy Hotel' and her idea of rehabilitating sinners. It was impossible, still, his got told him to go there. Just in case. To prove to himself that he will NEVER see Y/n again.

Y/n was on her way back home. She was in a hurry knowing that her new husband would be home soon from his hunt. She was planning a surprise, having made custom baby shoes that had their names engraved but she hadn't been able to pack the gift. As she was running through the street, a car swirled. The last thing she remembered was the front of a Ford and screams.

Everything went white, then black and then blue. Looking around, she was on a golden pat that led to a golden gate. Was this heaven? Saint Peter was waiting by the gate and happily led Y/n in.

She had quickly found a new home in heaven; she started up her own radio show, decorated her house and made a few friends. Everything was ready for when her husband would join her but that day never came. Every day she laughed and joked around on the most beloved and popular radio broadcast in heaven and then went home crying about her husband and grieved the small and sweet family she would never have.

One day she was bold enough to visit the seraphim and ask about her Alastor. The answer that was given to her was devastating.

"I'm sorry but he doesn't belong in heaven."

That night, Y/n couldn't sleep, all she could do was cry.

Decennia went by and she had made peace with the fact that she would never see her husband again. That was until the princess of hell came up to heaven with the idea to rehabilitate sinners and the news came out about the yearly exterminations. Winners started to protest, most of them had family down there. What if they died because of heaven's heartless decision?

Y/n was haunted by the same fear. One night, she tried to sneak out to the golden gate and jump down but was promptly stopped by peter.

"Hell isn't a place for a lovely woman like you." He had said.

Y/n wasn't hearing any of it thought. She was determined to find her husband again. So instead, she started messing with her radio station.

"ALLY!!! PLEASE ANSWER ME!!! Please." She sobbed. "Please be, alive! Alastor I love YOU!!!"

That night, Alastor sat on the hotel's balcony reading a book when his microphone started acting up.

"A-..... M.... ase... v.. O!!!"

Strange. If it hadn't been decennia since he last heard her, he had recognized his wife's voice in the glitchy fragment, he, however, didn't. As he was checking his microphone, he got called over by Rosie and the other cannibals that were training for the battle.

It was the next day, Y/n pulled herself out of bed, changed and made her way to her radio tower. She had to use this broadcast to spread more awareness about the exterminations.

Alastor woke up that faithful morning from her microphone. A broadcast came from it, but he wasn't in his radio tower? And it was a female voice? His eyes fluttered open and really started listening to what was being said.

"It's a sunny day as usual here in heaven. A small chance of clouds in the late afternoon but those will be swept away fast."

Alastor knew that voice, he was sure of it. It was his wife, his beloved wife, broadcasting from heaven. He could finally hear his love again.

"On to the news! I think we all heard about it around now, but during the trail with Charlie Morningstar about the Hazbin Hotel, it came out that heaven has been exterminating the human souls down in hell. Your loved ones could be gone... Forever... Winners are demonstrating around the holy palace, come with us! Come down and stand help us stand against this injustice! I'm going and so should you!"

And she was fighting for him. She was probably so scared that he would be dead. He would do anything to find her again and if he had to fight heaven, he would do it.

The Radio Demon gained a new confidence that day from a single radio wave that made it through to hell.

The end

Note: I know that the fragment would be more than a single radio wave, it just sounds cool.

Masterlist/request guidelines

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel requests #reader requests #x reader #reader insert #alastor x reader #alastor x you #hazbin hotel radio demon #radio demon #alastor the radio demon

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lastoneout · 6 months

Note

Okay, honest question, who is Yotsuba?

OH HO HO ANON I AM ALL TOO HAPPY TO EXPLAIN :3

Yotsuba is a character from the greatest manga ever made, Yotsuba&!(or Yotsuba to! it translates weird, most fans just call it Yotsuba) which is a comedy slice-of-life manga about Yotsuba Koiwai, a five year old girl, and her very strange yet wholesome family and friends!

It's from the same mangaka who gave us Azumanga Daioh, though while that manga is told in a four-panel comic style and doesn't really have much of an overarching plot, Youtsuba is done in a traditional manga style and despite also being very episodic there is a bit of a throughline surrounding Youtsuba getting settled into the neighborhood she just moved to, growing up, and eventually, in the later chapters, getting ready to go to school for the first time. Also, there are storylines that take place over multiple chapters as well! Despite the fact that the manga has been releasing since 2003, the chapters are pretty sporadic and the comic has only really covered about one year of the character's lives, but it never really feels slow or aimless. It feels almost...timeless? I guess. It's really nice.

Anyway, the manga is legit one of the most wholesome, funny, heartwarming things I have ever read. Kiyohiko Azuma is a fucking MASTER of comedy(you may have seen screencaps from a Sailor Moon fan comic he made going around on tumblr in which Jupiter accidentally sends Venus shooting across a pool that made me laugh so hard I cried) and he balances it well with lots of slow moments with GORGEOUS artwork where you can really take in the scenery and all of it is seeped in a wonderful nostalgia for childhood that legit makes me super emotional.

I don't think the manga has ever really taken off in terms of popularity, at least not to the degree that it deserves imo, which is likely in part due to the creator being firm about it never getting an anime adaptation and the sporadic release schedule, but it's far from unknown. There's been an official(I think??) score released and plenty of figurines and merch. It's also birthed a lot of memes, and it def has the same issue as One Piece where if you read it and love it you will turn into a walking billboard and try to drag your friends and family in with you. It's just THAT good!

You may have seen art of or people cosplaying Danbo, a "robot" made of old cardboard boxes that Yotsuba adores (Totally a real robot btw, def doesn't have a middle schooler shoved inside there, that would be silly wdym /s)

And this pose from the back of one of the manga volumes featuring Yotsuba, her father, and their extremely tall friend Jumbo has been redrawn with other characters like 500000 billion times

And you've also probably seen this going around tumblr before (that's Fūka she's my favorite cringe fail daughter I would literally die for her).

Also, I would be doing a disservice if I didn't mention Yanda, who is a friend of Yotsuba's dad and also Yotsuba's nemesis. He's a loser who constantly gets dunked on by a toddler it's fucking hilarious.

But yeah it really is just like, a manga that feels like a hug, or a warm blanket or something, it's so comforting and funny and fantastic, I find myself re-reading it any time life gets to be too hard just bcs it's that good at distracting me and reminding me that live is worth living.

And also given that it's literally my favorite manga, I saved up a bunch of screencaps to use as reaction images after a read one time, and thus now it's my own little joke that if you send me anon hate I'm just gonna send you back a picture of this cutie

Bcs come on how can you be angry when you're looking at this???

Anyway here's some screencaps of the main supporting cast bcs I love all of them so much <3

YOU WILL READ YOTSUBA I AM NO LONGER ASKING

#Ask #Anonymous #long post #sorry anon you hit the yotsuba button #I am legally obligated to gush about it #yotsuba #yotsuba&!

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ckret2 · 5 months

Text

Chapter 29 of human Bill Cipher will find a way out of being the Pines' prisoner or so help him, featuring:

Summerween!!!!

and also:

Henchmaniacs.

Kryptos doesn't actually talk like that, it's just how he's currently feeling.

####

January 1, 1982

"You're late," Bill said, a bit reproachfully.

Ford gave him a surprised look. "Did we have an appointment?" He didn't remember one. He was pretty sure he'd remember an appointment with his muse, even if he'd made it in a dream.

"Pfff, appointments are for people without an eternity of time! No, I'm just used to you dreaming by midnight. It's weird for you to stay up past two when you aren't working on a project."

"I suppose it is." Ford was flattered Bill was paying close enough attention to notice his sleep habits. "I thought I'd stay up late to bring in the new year."

"The what?"

"The... new year?" What wasn't registering. How do you explain New Year's to an alien/angelic messenger? "It's when—"

"Oh, oh right." Bill waved off the rest of Ford's explanation. Several calendars and clocks spiraled in the air like a Ferris wheel in front of Bill, "Between trying to figure out whether you meant it was 0 Pop or Tishrei 1, I completely forgot about Chaos 1. You guys have too many calendars!"

And he'd skipped over January entirely. Wryly, Ford said, "The next time somebody asks for my input, I'll let them know you want us to use a few less."

Bill laughed. "Smart aleck." The calendars and clocks vanished. "And all you did to celebrate was stay up a little later than usual? No parties? Okay, I know you don't know anyone throwing a party—but you didn't even celebrate at a bar?" Bill ruffled his hair. "All work and no play makes Ford a dull boy!"

Ford endured the ruffling. He wasn't quite sure whether Bill was scolding him for staying up celebrating, or for not celebrating enough. "I... suppose I could celebrate in here?"

"What do you want, a fireworks show?" In the distance in Ford's mindscape, a single large firework exploded. It shifted colors, purple to yellow to green to red, before fading. "I don't think so! If you wanted fireworks, you should've gone to the show on the lake. I've got some prophecies to pass on, and I'd rather get to them this REM cycle."

By "prophecies" he probably meant a random assortment of warnings about Ford's upcoming week, which historically had varied in severity from "don't visit the lake Tuesday evening or you'll get caught in a snowstorm and die of hypothermia" to "you'd better get groceries in the morning before they sell out of your toothpaste brand." And Ford was always grateful for such messages—but now he wished he could see what sort of fantastical color-changing dream fireworks show his muse could put on. "I take it it's not a new year on your calendar."

"I don't keep track of that stuff. When you're as ancient as me, celebrating the new year is like celebrating a new hour."

Bill had so easily brushed off the implicit invitation to discuss "his" calendar. Ford wasn't surprised. Over the years of sporadic meetings with his muse, Ford had noted that Bill never shared information about where he'd come from or how he filled his time when he wasn't bestowing his wisdom—as if Bill was a thing that simply is, a muse that offered inspiration because it was made to inspire, with no history or identity outside of its role in service to humanity. He always dodged the questions gracefully.

But he never seemed bothered that Ford had asked. In fact, as long as Ford didn't pry into Bill's history and kept his inquiries comfortably shallow, Bill always seemed happy to receive personal questions. Ford had found that even when Bill talked like he was in a hurry, it was very easy to get him off track (and consequently extend his visit to two or three more dreams) by asking him about himself.

Ford wondered why that was. Was it a part of his duty—was he compelled to answer his chosen students' questions, to enlighten them on the mysteries of the universe, to help tug back the curtain of reality to reveal wonders unknown—wonders that included Bill himself? Or perhaps Bill was used to students seeing him as a source of knowledge without seeing him. Perhaps he was grateful that somebody was interested in him enough to ask.

Whatever the case—Bill clearly liked being asked about himself, and Ford liked getting his muse to stick around a little longer than planned. So rather than letting Bill get on to the prophecies he'd promised, Ford asked, "Do you ever... participate in any human holidays? After all, you've offered so much to humanity. I'm sure any of your prior protégés would have been honored to invite you as a guest to our celebrations. I would be honored." And Ford wouldn't mind having friendly company on the holidays that he'd gotten in the habit of ignoring until they shrank to nothing but a square on a calendar.

"Ha, I know you would! But no, not really," Bill said. "Don't get me wrong, it's not that I look down on your cute little local festivals. They just don't have any relevance to me! A celebration of a bountiful harvest, a prayer to get through the winter, the veneration of a local long-dead celebrity... I come from a timeless realm of divinity, sublimity, color and light! Most of your planet's holidays are about issues that don't matter to me."

"Ah. I see," Ford said. "Are there any human holidays you care about?"

Bill mulled over the question. "Maybe one or two."

####

June 22, 2013

Bill thundered down the stairs, charged into the kitchen, and announced to the Pines, "If I don't get to wear a Summerween costume I will literally die."

Without looking up from the morning paper, Ford said, "Then die."

####

It took ten minutes for Bill to bargain Ford up from "death" to permission to wear a costume—provided that it was free; that Bill agree to stay inside for the holiday without complaint (WITHOUT COMPLAINT) no matter what fun activities he heard happening outside; that Ford didn't have to do anything to help Bill obtain said costume; and that Bill take a dang shower.

Bill groaned. "Another shower already?"

"You wouldn't need so many if you didn't insist on running around in an acrylic sweater and polyester leggings in summer."

Bill knew that. That was one of the reasons he did it. It was useful for the humans to think the showers were their idea.

Bill agreed to all terms, and even volunteered to get the dang shower over with now so they could both get on with the rest of their days.

He'd never admit it, but Bill had been wanting a shower. Not for the hygiene, but for the privacy. This was the first time he'd had a door between himself and the Pines since he'd broken the shack's unicorn hair barrier.

Time to call in reinforcements.

Bill covered the mirrors, turned on the shower, undressed, stuck his head under the shower stream so that if anyone barged in on him he could use his wet hair as proof he'd been showering, and squinted through the wooden door to confirm there weren't any humans lurking nearby. Coast was clear—but wow, it hurt to bend his eye that way. He rubbed at it irritably as he set up his ring of candles again, and wasn't surprised when his fingertips came away bloody. He thought it hurt more than it had last time. He wondered how many more times he could glance into higher dimensions before this body's eyeballs gave out on him. Hopefully he wouldn't need them that long.

He drew Kryptos on the floor, lit the candles, and started muttering the chant to summon him. "Rhombus sapphirinus. Fraternitas, caritas..."

The steamy air went chill, the water pattering in the tub grew muffled, the whole world slowed and paused. For weeks, Bill's every attempt to break into the mindscape had been a futile strain; but now, instead, the mindscape surged up and swallowed him into its gray twilight, like evening embracing the land on the heels of sunlight's departure. Bill knew he wasn't awake anymore. It was working.

A force outside of Bill borrowed his throat to speak the last of the ritual—it worked!—and before his eyes, a diamond window opened into the Nightmare Realm.

####

Standing at the edge of one of the Quadrangle of Qonfusion's many perpendicular floors, arms crossed, scowling deeply, Pyronica glared at a neon-acidic cotton candy nebula light years away. "Guys," she said, "it's doing the thing again."

8 Ball, Keyhole, and Zanthar glanced away from their video game toward the nebula. Amorphous Shape peeled a few squares off a column to peer at it with Hectorgon.

"Look at this." Pyronica clapped her hands.

In the nebula, crackles of lightning-like bolts of light millions of miles long shot through the starry clouds. A noise like thunder boomed from it, rattling the Quadrangle. An ugly statue fell off a column-shaped pedestal and landed on a wall.

She clapped twice more—each time, eliciting more lightning—then gestured emphatically at the nebula. "How am I doing that!"

"Can't be you controlling it," Amorphous Shape said. "That nebula's over a dozen light years away. That light had to have happened years ago, we're just seeing it now."

Already turned back to his video game and determinedly trying to murder Keyhole, 8 Ball said, "Maybe the nebula's controlling you."

Pryonica said flatly, "You think a bunch of stars is making me clap."

"Eh. Like astrology or something."

Hectorgon said, "Could be a time loop thing."

"Could be," Amorphous Shape said thoughtfully.

Pyronica threw up her hands, which made the distant nebula's colors shift slightly. "If it's not weird butterfly effects or faster-than-light light, it's time loops. I hate this place. All it'd take is a hard sneeze to knock the whole dimension down."

She'd been saying things to such effect for the past few months. Consequently, nobody really paid much attention to the latest round of griping about the Nightmare Realm's poor maintenance, until she said, "I'm bailing on the Quadrangle. Soon as I can find a decent rock in some other dimension. Who else is coming?"

8 Ball glanced down at Pyronica from the floor with their gaming setup. "Hold on, are you serious?" He quickly had to look away as Zanthar took advantage of the distraction to attack.

"Yeah, I'm serious. I don't wanna break up the gang, but I'm sick of this dump."

Huddled on a nearby wall like an unemployed gargoyle, Paci-Fire said solemnly, "I will stay, Mother. The Quadrangle of Qonfusion is the only home I have ever known."

"Probably one of my worst life decisions," Pyronica muttered. "The Quadrangle isn't our home, it was Bill's. We're just... just..."

Ducking in from between two columns that seemed to lead to a purple-shadowed nighttime meadow, Teeth said, "Eternal couch-surfers."

"Ha! Yeah, that. Hey, where you been the past week?"

"Took a wrong turn to the bathroom. I ended up in that pocket dimension Bill grounded the electrical wiring into."

"Again?"

"I never know how many times to cross that one infinitely looping hallway!"

Pyronica gestured at Teeth. "See, this place is a complete mess. We'd be better off moving to any other dimension. And you'd like living in a real dimension if you gave it a shot, Paci!"

"No." Paci-Fire crossed his arms. "I do not want to."

"At least think about it. Wouldn't you like to live somewhere that has moons? Instead of going on a road trip to another dimension every time you want to drive a civilization to extinction?"

Keyhole muttered, "I hate those stupid road trips. They're always a zillion light years long and we never do anything fun."

"Hey!" Pyronica pointed at Keyhole. "Watch it! My kid's a lunarcide prodigy, he gets to go on as many moon-destroying trips as he wants!"

Keyhole cringed. "Right, right, sorry." 8 Ball muttered something disparaging about Keyhole's intellect, right before blowing him up for the second time.

Paci-Fire asked, "And say we were to move to a dimension with more moons. What would we do when the authorities follow us home after another successful slaughter?" A side-effect of growing up in the Henchmaniacs was that Paci-Fire regarded The Authorities as a nebulous bogeyman that was personally out to get him and all his family and friends. "Are we to lock the door and cower from them like—like cowards? Or constantly flee from one dimension to the next? No, Mother. I do not wish to live like a pariah in the dark corners of—" his lower mouth sneered around his pacifier, "civilized dimensions. There is nowhere safer for us than the Nightmare Realm."

"Sweetie, you don't have to be afraid of the authorities in other dimensions—"

"Mother! I know no fear." Paci-Fire's eyes flared a bright, dangerous red.

Pyronica playfully tugged one of his horn. "We can find a dimension as primitive as 46'\ without any interstellar cops. Like—which dimension were you from, Teeth, it doesn't even have any organized space authorities, does it?"

"Oh, yeah, pretty much every world in my galaxy was still ground bound when Bill recruited me." Teeth stepped on a column, slid off, and shuffled around it, trying to remember which side doubled as a walkway to the kitchen. "I don't really mind staying here, though. I mean yeah, we don't have a roof, or consistent walls, and the wiring's a mess. But the rent's really reasonable for a place this size in this part of the Nightmare Realm."

Hectorgon processed that. "Hold on." He lay on a wall and slid up it until he was mouth level with Teeth. "You've been paying rent?"

Teeth paused mid-column. "Wh—yeah? What's that supposed to mean?"

Pyronica bit her lip to keep from laughing, elbowed Paci-Fire, and hissed, "I thought Bill was joking about charging Teeth rent!"

Paci-Fire murmured, "Bill Cipher was always a most droll prankster."

"Who are you paying it to?" Hectorgon asked.

"I mean—I was paying it to Bill. But I dunno who took that over, so I guess, kinda... no one?"

With a mildly offended tone, Hectorgon lied, "You were supposed to give it to me now."

"Oh." Teeth shifted awkwardly. "Uh... sorry, Hect, no one told me. I don't think I've got enough on hand to cover all the..."

"It's fine, everything's been topsy-turvy since... the last few months. Just give me what you have and pay back the rest as soon as you can, okay?"

"Sure, sure, no problem. Thanks, man."

Pyronica bit her lip to keep from laughing. "All right, so Teeth is stupid enough to stay here."

"Hey!"

"But I don't see why the rest of us should be." She looked up at the trio playing games below her, then tried to remember which stupid paradox staircase led to that level. She hesitantly headed up one that looked promising. "Moving out would be worth it just to be somewhere with consistent physics!"

"I am contented with the inconsistent physics," Paci-Fire said.

"It took you fifty years longer than most kids to learn how to walk," Pyronica said. "I know you're my little genius! It's this dimension that's holding you down!"

"Boo," Paci-Fire said sulkily.

"Paci, you don't even like the Quadrangle. Nobody does."

Amorphous Shape let out a chorus of sharp gasps. They slid around a corner and reappeared sliding from the underside of the staircase to the top, laying zigzag atop the steps to glare at Pyronica. "Excuse us."

"I'll step on you, Morph," Pyronica threatened. Amorphous Shape grudgingly slid over for her to pass. "Fine, Bill's stupid 2D groupies like the Quadrangle. But the rest of us don't."

"What's wrong with it?" Morph demanded.

"What's—?!" Pyronica gestured upward at the floor below them. "You don't see the problem with this?!"

"It's supposed to be like that. It's a shortcut."

"It's a—!" Pyronica covered her face and suppressed a scream. "It's giving me vertigo!"

"It doesn't give us vertigo," Morph said defensively. They partially peeled off the steps to look at Hectorgon. "Does it give you vertigo?"

"No, I'm fine."

"What about you, Kryptos?"

There was no answer.

"Krypt?" Morph reluctantly peeled off the stairs entirely and hovered in the air to try to get a better view.

"He probably got sucked into The Void," Keyhole muttered, "it was vibrating this morning."

8 Ball sighed. "Why do we even have that Void?"

"Man, I dunno."

Pyronica ascended to the bottom of the stairs, sat on the arm of the gamers' couch, and said, "The point is—none of us need this place. I got by fine before joining Bill, most of you guys did too, and we can get by just fine now without squatting in his weird architecture project."

She leaned behind Keyhole and 8 Ball to poke Zanthar's arm. "Big Z, you still have worshippers in your home dimension, right? Aren't you still getting offerings?"

Zanthar shrugged noncommittally.

"They've still got legends of you, you can whip them back into shape in no time. Keyhole, you've got family—"

Without looking away from the screen, where he was losing hideously, Keyhole muttered, "I'm not moving back in with my mom."

"I'm not talking about your mom, stupid, what about your sisters?"

Keyhole winced, though it was hard to tell whether it was from Pyronica's question or from getting killed for the third and final time. "I don't know... Bill and I were talking about them once, and I realized they're as bad as Mom was. Bill said probably the only reason they didn't treat me as bad is because they never got the opportunity—"

"Who cares what Bill said," Pyronica snapped. "Bill's dead! We don't have to listen to him anymore!"

"Hear hear," 8 Ball muttered; but he couldn't throw in anything else, lest Zanthar blow him up and win the match.

Pyronica said, "Face it: the only reason the rest of us didn't leave the Nightmare Realm millennia ago is because Bill couldn't leave."

Morph drifted through the kitchen—reaching around Teeth to grab a drink out of the fridge as they passed—and unfolded questioningly around a corner. "There you are."

Kryptos was in the rec room, lounging on Bill's stupid tacky optical illusion throne with the fabric of reality upholstery, staring out a window (or skylight, depending on your point of perspective). He grunted at Morph.

Morph said, "Bill's gonna be furious you're using his throne."

"Whatever. Z's already spilled time punch on the armrest." Kryptos pointed at the patch of reality on the armrest that was out of chronological synch with the rest of the throne.

"He's not gonna be furious," Pyronica said, shouting through the doorway that inexplicably connected to the rec room. "He's not gonna be anything because he's dead. He died. D-E-A-D."

"He's not." And suddenly Morph were in Pyronica's face, all of their polygons and lines and piercing slitted eyes circling her head like angry moons. Keyhole leaned toward 8 Ball to see the screen around them, and 8 Ball elbowed him back over. Morph said, "He can't be. If Bill was dead, the Nightmare Realm would be falling apart even faster—"

"So let's bail while we can—"

"—but it's not," they said. "If anything, its degradation is slowing down. That would be impossible if he were dead, he's instrumental to holding the Nightmare Realm together—"

"Unless he lied about that, and he was actually making everything worse," Pyronica said.

"Bill's not a liar! We have the data to prove it, we've been measuring the degradation for billennia—"

"I'm sick of your stupid measurements! It was your 'measurements' that said 46'\ was perfect to take over! Was that stupid barrier part of your measurements?!"

"That barrier was extremely localized, there's no way we could have detected—"

"The portal was right in the middle of it! How did you idiots miss it?!"

8 Ball groaned as Zanthar whittled away the last of his HP. Zanthar let out a gentle hum like the sound of an apocalyptic vacuum cleaner as the game declared him the winner.

8 Ball tossed his controller at the TV. The TV squealed in fear. "If Bill is alive, that's just another reason to get out of the Nightmare Realm! Leave before he gets back! He can play king in this dump by himself."

Paci-Fire said, "Surely, you do not mean that. Were Bill still around..."

"No! No, I do mean it! The only reason we've stayed so long is because everyone's too starstruck or too scared to ditch him! Not anymore! If his flat-brained cultists wanna wait for him, fine! But why do we all gotta stay?"

"Hey!" Hectorgon rushed in from the kitchen to snarl at 8 Ball. "Who're you calling flat, cue tip—?"

Kryptos tuned out the argument downstairs/next door as 8 Ball and Hectorgon started brawling. Who were they kidding? Nobody was leaving. Maybe 8 Ball, he'd tried to split four or five times before crawling back, but Kryptos didn't care about him anyway. Bill had always been right about him: he was too selfish to care about the rest of the gang but too stupid to make it on his own. They'd taken in losers like that before and it had never been a big loss when they left. But no one else would leave. Where would they go?

Where could they go?

Kryptos didn't care about the outerplanar Henchmaniacs' reasons for joining Bill; but the shapes were here because Bill had promised to make them a new home. He was the only one in all of reality who could do it. Kryptos was as desperate to hear from Bill as Morph and Hect were. They'd held fast to Bill's promise for a trillion years—so how could they let go of whatever thin thread of that hope remained? Who would they be if they lost it?

But in his heart, Kryptos didn't really believe Bill was out there. He'd been gone too long. And Kryptos couldn't imagine anything less catastrophic than Bill's destruction could have reversed Weirdmageddon.

Yet he was still here, and still waiting, because he didn't know what else to do. He'd stay in the Quadrangle until the whole realm finally fell apart, just in case Bill casually floated back in one day. He'd do anything they could think of to find him and bring him back.

And then Kryptos got a call from Earth.

He sighed heavily.

Calls from Earth weren't unusual. Perks of having helped found the Fishmasons: Kryptos was occasionally summoned by the Fishermen high-ranked enough to be told their organization really did know an interdimensional alien who was their de facto secret leader and presided over their most important rituals. Assuming "de facto secret leader" meant "living equivalent of a beloved sports team mascot," and "presided over" meant "got free invitations to," and "most important rituals" meant "most fun parties." But the humans liked to pretend that their little group was a lot more important and cloak-and-dagger than the social club it really was; and all the wink-wink-nudge-nudge pretending-Kryptos-was-in-charge, while silly, was also kind of flattering. You didn't get many chances to be the star of the show when you lived around a supernova like Bill.

So, Kryptos got calls from Earth from time to time—at least a handful a year—typically from a middle-aged man in a business suit trying to pretend he wasn't giddy about being the guy who'd gotten permission to pull out the candles and contact The Alien.

Kryptos was not in the mood to talk to humans. Humans were why they were in this mess. Humanity could go jump in a lake.

But it wasn't every human's fault that a handful had somehow taken out Bill. And maybe they were calling for a party. Maybe it would cheer him up.

So he sighed again, half heartedly shouted, "Guys—guys, shut up a second, I'm getting a call," and opened up a window to Earth.

His vision was filled with a brown-skinned golden-haired haunted-eyed human who, at the sight of Kryptos, gave him a relieved, face-splitting smile. "H—"

Kryptos hung up.

To reiterate: he took calls from middle-aged men in business suits. That was a naked woman crouched on the floor like an animal.

"Who was it?" Hectorgon asked.

"No one. Some woo-woo witchy type who probably dug up a leaked Fishmason ritual online."

Hectorgon laughed. "I bet it thought it could ask a 'demon' for lottery numbers."

"Sorry, sister, but that's Bill's schtick," Kryptos said. "My number is unlisted for a reason."

Kryptos wondered about Bill's human pals. Well—"pals" was a bit of a stretch—devotees and students. How often did he get calls? And now they couldn't reach him.

Stinks for them. Must be awful, reaching out to someone in another dimension for help and getting nothing back.

####

An ethereal, sourceless voice whispered in Bill's ear, "The all-knowing dream demon you're trying to reach is currently unavailable for visions and prophecies. If this is an emergency, wake up and call your nearest Masonic lodge. Otherwise, please leave your prayers or petitions after the beep." Beep.

Bill stared, jaw dropped, at the empty patch of air where Kryptos had been projecting just a moment ago. After several seconds of mute outrage, Bill said, "Kr... Kryptos. You... I swear, if you don't get back here this SECOND—"

The sheer force of his anger woke him up. His eyes fluttered open to the world of color and humidity and pattering water. He grabbed every towel he could reach, wadded them up, and screamed into them. "KRYPTOS YOU SON OF A— I KNOW YOU NEVER CHECK YOUR VOICEMAIL! AND WERE YOU ON MY THRONE, WERE YOU SITTING ON MY SPECIAL THRONE—!"

He shrieked until his lungs were empty.

####

At sixty minutes exactly, Ford knocked and opened the bathroom door. Bill stood scowling behind it.

Dryly, Ford asked, "Have a pleasant shower?"

Wet hair hanging in tangles, face flushed red, eyes even redder, Bill snapped, "Yeah. Refreshing."

####

"Mabel?"

Mabel glanced down from the stepladder at Bill, then pointedly looked away and continued taping Summerween decorations to the hallway wallpaper. "What."

"Mabel," Bill tried again, a touch more pleading. "O great Shooting Star. My hero. My one and only friend in this hostile universe. Last person who hasn't utterly forsaken me." He leaned on the wall, the back of his hand pressed to his forehead. "The sole illumination in the dark night of my accursed postmortem existence—"

Mabel grudgingly looked at Bill again. "What do you want?"

"Listen: I know I upset you at the mall, and I still need to make it up to you—I do, I do, I just haven't had a chance yet—and you're still a little mad at me, okay—buuut... can you help me make a costume." He pressed his hands together. "Please. I'll owe you one. I'll be in your debt. Just let me dress up for Summerween."

Mabel frowned at him. She frowned a little more. She said, frowning, "You're so lucky I love costumes."

####

(Next week: Summerween part 2!! Thanks for reading, if you enjoyed I'd love to hear from y'all what you think! I've been waiting to get to the Henchmaniacs for a long time. Mainly in the hopes y'all will yell at me for putting Bill through heck again.)

#human bill cipher #bill cipher #kryptos #henchmaniacs #gravity falls #gravity falls fanart #gravity falls fic #my writing #my art #fanart #bill goldilocks cipher

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