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#--internet for dopamine right
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August Preorder Haul! Featuring LOOK NO FURTHER and THE WATER OUTLAWS, both of which I have been anticipating for a long time!
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psa that i consider everyone who interacts with my posts as best friends okay? okay
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greengrassandcyansea · 10 months
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I feel like I’m going crazy every time I see censored words like er0t1c / s_x / R*C*ST .... Like?? If you write like this I’m beating you with a stick!!!
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wishful-seeker · 3 months
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I think some people don't realize some of us HAVE to be chronically online unfortunately, especially if we are bedridden or housebound due to illness. Obviously this isn't great for many reasons, and I've definitely fallen into the habit of rotting my brain with 7 second reels or ending up in really petty online arguments because i have nothing else to do. Just try to take care of yourselves, maybe you have to be chronically online, but maybe you can look out a window for a few minutes, or actively not read comments you know will upset you, or maybe make an effort to take a break from watching reels or tiktoks every few hours. Its incredibly difficult to have an occupied life when you're stuck in bed or at home. Personally I've found eating or being on my phone while also outside helps, writing/journaling in the notes on your phone, rewatching a loved tv show instead of interacting on online discourse or watching mind numbing dopamine hit reels over and over. Anyways, i know its difficult and you aren't bad for being chronically online especially when you really don't have much of a choice, just try to be gentle with how you treat yourself and consume media these days. I frequently take breaks from Instagram and tiktok, i think i haven't used them in about 2 weeks right now. Its also helpful to find safe spaces online. I consider tumblr a much more tame and healthier media for myself to consume because there isn't much fighting and just more wholesome random info everywhere. It also helps to text/call friends, reconnect with them online, ect. I hope my fellow chronically online people have a nice internet day.
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mindfulstudyquest · 2 months
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“ dopamine detox ,, and why you should delete all your social media right now
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"just five more minutes" and then you end up scrolling on instagram or tiktok for hours. i know that feeling. even if you know rationally that focusing on the really important things ( such as studying, working, learning from books or whatever ) is much healthier for you and your future, you can't help it.
you know that start studying for the exam you have next week will benefit you much more in the long run, but you still prefer watching tiktoks and scrolling on instagram. you could say that is pretty obvious: one activity is easy, and doesn't require much effort, whereas the other one is difficult and implies that you are focused.
but it's actually like this? so then why some people manage to be consistent in studying, or working, or exercising? they simply just have more motivation than you? and how can you start having the same motivation as them?
to answer this question, we have to take a look to a very important molecule produced by our brain: dopamine.
dopamine is often considered a pleasure molecule, but it's a false belief. dopamine is actually the molecule that makes us desire things, and it's that desire that gives us the motivation to complete every kind of task. for example, your brain doesn't release dopamine while you're eating a cheesburger, it releases it while you're going to mcdonald's to buy it, because you anticipate that the food will make you feel good, even if it actually makes you feel worse.
to your brain, it doesn't matter if the high-dopamine-activity is damaging to you.
your brain organizes priorities based off how much dopamine is expecting to get:
if an activity releases too little dopamine, you won't have the motivation to accomplish it.
if an activity releases a lot of dopamine you'll be motivated to do it, and repeat it over and over
so, which activities releases dopamine? basically, any activity where you can get an immediate potential reward releases an high amount of dopamine. but if you know that there's not an immediate reward invoved ( such as in studying, where the reward is in the long run ) your brain will not expect to release much of it and you'll be less motivated to do that task.
nearly everything releases some amount of dopamine, even drinking water when you're thirsty, but the highest amount of it is released when you're getting a reward randomly, for example while playing on a slot machine. even if you loose money, you eventually expect to get a bigger reward.
therefore it is not so surprising that the most additive social networks ( tiktok, instagram, pinterest ) are designed as slot machines. you don't know what the next post or video will be, but you expect something great, so your brain releases a large amount of dopamine.
in today's society our brains are overloaded with stimuli that induce an unnatural production of dopamine ( scrolling on social media, playing video games, watching internet pornograhy, etc. ).
it's frightening that people don't know how harmful this lifestyle is: our bodies have a biological sistem called homeostasis, which means that our bodies keep the internal physical and chemical conditions at a balanced level, whenever an imbalance occurs, our bodies adapt to it, for example, when it's very hot our body temperature rises and we start sweating to cool down.
but homeostasis manifests through tolerance too. for example, someone who hardly ever drinks alchool will be tipsy after one beer, on the other hand, someone who drinks alchool on a regular basis will need two, three, four beers in order to get drunk, because their body has developed a tolerance to it. it's not much different with dopamine.
so if you get used to large amounts of dopamine, you won't be able to do the things that you did before, because they don't produce as much dopamine and it's more difficult to motivate yourself to do them. once your dopamine tolerance gets too high, you are no longer able to enjoy low dopamine activities.
as if you were a drug addict, there's only one way to get out of it: you have to perform a dopamine detox. you have to avoid all high dopamine activities in order to allow your body to adjust to a normal level of dopamine production and start finding motivation again in the things that improve your personal growth.
it's not easy, you will be nervous and frustrated, maybe you won't make it through a full day without social media, but day by day it will get better and better, and eventually you'll be able to appreciate small things again.
imagine that you're eating your favorite food - for example, chocolate cake - every single day. after a while, chocolate cake doesn't taste good as before, even if it's literally the same cake. on the other hand, if you eat it once a month, it will taste great, because it's not something you've gotten used to.
this is exactly what dopamine detox does. be safe guys, and start recovering now.
[ source: https://youtu.be/9QiE-M1LrZk ]
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nanowrimo · 7 months
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Write Smarter, Not Harder: 5 Ways to Conquer Chaotic Writing
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Every year, we’re lucky to have great sponsors for our nonprofit events. ButterDocs, a 2023 NaNoWriMo sponsor, is an all-in-one writing app built for productivity, collaboration, and a more joyful writing experience. Today, the folks at ButterDocs share a few tips on organizing your writing to meet your goals:
NaNoWriMo is about to start, and you're champing at the bit to get to 50,000 words. But that's no easy feat! Because life doesn't stop when NaNoWriMo starts.
You're still going to have climb a mountain of chaos to reach your goal: Chaos like not being able to find your notes and outlines when you need them since they're scattered across multiple apps, or the constant lure of internet distractions.
And of course, once NaNoWriMo ends, the writing process continues. You'll need to get feedback, be able to actually easily take advantage of that feedback, and make revisions (especially if your ultimate goal isn't just a rough draft, but a polished novel).
Here are five tips from ButterDocs to beat the chaos and make your writing workflow less work and more flow.
1. Know what you're about to do.
We know you want to start maximizing your word count from Day One, but you'll thank yourself on Day Twenty if you lay the groundwork for yourself. Take some time to organize your research, develop your characters, lay out your major plot points, and consider your themes.
You don't need to buy and learn advanced plotting software. A digital whiteboard can be as intuitive as pinning index cards to a cork board.
2. Write in the best environment for you.
You're about to spend a lot of time writing. It's a good idea to get comfortable.
Think about what environment you write best in. Do you need the hubbub and energy of a busy coffee shop? Or the serenity of a cozy nook?
Once you find the right place, put the same effort into finding a writing app you'll actually enjoy writing in.
3. Stay in your writing flow.
Focus and dedication during NaNoWriMo is the whole ball game. Lose either, and your chances of hitting 50,000 words are harder.
Whatever your NaNoWriMo goals are, give yourself the best chances to succeed with tools that will help you get and stay focused. A timer, word counter, and goal tracker will help you with timed writing sprints and hitting daily writing goals.
4. Recover from distractions.
Distractions will happen. Chaotic writing aside, the human brain wants to wander for dopamine. And life inevitably gets in the way.
What's important is how you recover. Don't let one distraction or missed writing day snowball into another and another. Give yourself tools that help you get back on track. A simple notification to come back to your writing can be a big help.
5. Pull others in to help you move forward.
You may be participating in NaNoWriMo as an individual, but know this: you are not alone.
You have the entire NaNoWriMo community, among many other writing communities and groups you can turn to for any genre of writing.
When you feel stuck or need feedback on a draft, don't be afraid to ask for help. Just be sure to invite people into a writing app where you have control over the collaboration.
ButterDocs Early Access + NaNoWriMo Resources
Conquer chaotic writing by using a writing app built for exactly that. With ButterDocs, you can plan, write, share, and edit your writing all in one place, without the chaos. It's by the team that built Arc Studio, a leading screenwriting app with hundreds of thousands of users.
ButterDocs launches today in early access and we'd love to invite you to check it out for NaNoWriMo.
All NaNoWriMo participants can receive a free year of ButterDocs if you sign up by December 1st, 2023.
We're running a free online event on October 25th for everyone who signs up: "Getting (and Staying) in Your Creative Writing Zone During NaNoWriMo." with Grant Faulkner (Executive Director of NaNoWrimo), Matt Trinetti (founder of London Writers' Salon), and Allison Trowbridge (founder of CopperBooks). If you can't make it, we'll email ButterDocs users the recording afterward.
Visit https://butterdocs.com/NaNoWriMo to learn more about ButterDocs, claim your free account, and enter an exclusive sweepstakes giveaway for NaNoWriMo participants!
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strawberrynightmare · 8 months
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Mikey, Mitsuya, Koko & Izana with foodie s/o
Content warning: Just Izana being a little bit... extreme
Koko
~It all started when he took you birthday shopping. The two of you went to a mall and he told you to take anything you want and not look at the price, to which you hesitantly agreed. He expected to be dragged into a clothing or electronics shop. Whatever you wanted; jackets, shoes, bags, perfumes, headphones, games, or maybe, once you get more confident, a phone, tablet, laptop? Or even a tv?
~He got so lost in his fantasies it took him a few minutes to comprehend your current whereabouts. 
~...A grocery store.
~Well, that’s fine. It’s completely reasonable that you’d want to do groceries. Duties first, pleasures second. Although he had to assure you that he’s more than happy to pay for your overflowing shopping cart full of sweets, snacks, cheese and other stuff.  He didn’t let you carry everything yourself, either. He insisted he carries at least 3/4 of them.
~Then the two of you went to get pizza. For that, he paid without even asking. Of course, it wouldn’t be good to shop hungry. And then a sweet dessert - ice cream!
~And when he thought that this is where the actual shopping trip starts, you said that you were done and thanked him. He looked at you as if you were insane. Surely, you must have been joking. 
~But instead of saying “just kidding”, you asked him if there’s anywhere he wants to go. This man was so flabbergasted that he just shook his head and silently walked you home. 
~It didn’t take him long to accept his fate and change his strategy, though. 
~Instead of more “classic” gifts, he began to buy you food. And rather than to the shopping malls, he took you to some of the most recommended restaurants. Pretty chill about it too. Although only for as long as he gets to pay. He can get petty when you don’t let him. The two of you literally race to the checkpoint
~And no, you are not visiting McDonald's, KFC or such things. He’s willing to (respectfully) argue with you about that. Why would you even look at their trash-quality food, when he’s more than willing to pay for something healthier and tastier? *proceeds to wave his credit card in front of your face until you give up*
~If there’s a specific food you crave out of the blue, all you have to do is text him. He’ll order it for you. Hell, he’ll even order anything he sees advertised on the internet that he thought you might like, so don’t get surprised when you get random parcels delivered to your door.
~If you’re worried about your eating habits, he’ll suggest visiting a dietician and will even accompany you there. Won’t force you or stick his nose into your eating habits unless it’s clearly dangerous for your health, though. Most of the time he just supports every decision you make.
~Literally the definition of “Eat whatever you want, I can pay.”
Izana
~Okay this guy 100% loves to watch you eat. You can’t convince me otherwise. 
~Like, imagine you’re casually enjoying your waffles and he sits right in front of you, staring at you, drilling holes into your soul with his gaze. Like this ◉_◉. He doesn’t even order anything for himself no matter how many times you ask him if he’s sure that he’s not hungry. 
~Your boyfriend literally can get high on dopamine from watching you eat something you like. He doesn’t get bored. Each time the two of you meet, he just kinda gives you some kind of a snack and at this point, you don’t even question it, cause he’s gonna do it either way. The two of you start talking, he automatically extends his hand with a snack towards you and you automatically take it without missing a beat. 
~The moment you split your food in half and offered it to him, he was so moved. In his mind, he swore to protect you forever. I’ve seen memes about girlfriends saying they don’t want anything to eat and then eat their boyfriend’s food. Which kind of resembles him because he’ll only eat if it’s from your plate. Can’t get his own for his life. 
~I can clearly imagine a scenario where a gang fight occurs and all of the enemies get heavily beaten up except for that one guy who’s captured at the very beginning and then, at the end, they let him go with no more than a scratch, simply because he’s the son of the owner of your favourite sushi restaurant. 
~At the same time, imagine what happens to the people whose food you dislike. Without a blink, he’d watch you eat something, and instead of the usual bliss he sees on your face, you frown and begin to slow down before hesitantly putting down the eating utensils. He’d ask you if anything’s wrong and after you reply that this dish is not really to your liking, he’d just smile and offer that you eat somewhere else. Then, the next day, you heard in the news that the very same restaurant burned to ashes during the night. The cause of the fire was unknown. 
~Another time, he accidentally saw you out in the town with a friend. He just happened to be nearby and considered saying hello when he heard your friend complaining about you eating way too much. You didn’t seem to take it seriously, but a dark glint in his eyes appeared at that time.
~”I never had a problem with how much they eat…”
~Hopefully, you weren’t very close with that friend (._.)
~Lowkey the devil on your shoulder. He only means good, but he never really tells you no. If you’re thinking about whether to get something to eat, you don’t even have to look at him to know his advice. And if you can’t decide between two things, he’ll just get you both no big deal. Even if he’s aware that it might not be the best for you, it’s not like an additional portion of ice cream will harm you, right?
~He’ll even go as far as to rob a grocery store with his gang to get you a good supply of snacks. You might want to establish some boundaries with him. Just saying. 
~Overall, wants the best, but tends to take things to the extremes.
Mitsuya
~Say no more.
~Actually, he’d cook for you almost each time you come to visit him even before he learns about your fondness for good food. And when he does? You got yourself a personal chef and no amount of insisting and resisting will get you out of this. 
~Legit gets offended if you refuse to let him make you food and suggest eating in the town instead.  
“Haaa? You’d rather pay for some stranger’s stuff rather than eat what your boyfriend prepared for you with love?”
~And it doesn’t matter that you only have the best intentions in mind and you don’t want to overwork him. He’s having none of that. If you really insist that you want to eat at some restaurant or worse- a fast food restaurant (!) he has no power to stop you. He’ll go with you, but he’ll be silent most of the time and will be glaring at you as you eat.
“I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.”
~But the moment you finally break, and promise to always choose his food over others, he’s momentarily back to himself, apologising and cuddling the hell out of you. Overbearing, but he does it out of care.
~That’s where it ends though. He invites you to eat dinner with him every few days and sometimes makes you snacks, but the rest is up to you. He doesn’t really stick his nose into your eating habits. And he doesn’t forbid you from eating in restaurants either. He’ll straight out encourage you to try out new places, but that’s only as long as he’s not able to cook for you himself, probably due to lack of time.
~If he sees some occasional food trucks or other kinds of time-limited food stalls, he’s absolutely getting you stuff from there. He’ll probably get a little bit of everything so that the two of you can go back there and eat whatever you liked the most.
~And if he sees someone bothering you for your eating habits, he won’t hesitate to pull them aside and scold them or even start a fight if necessary. 
~Will ask his friends and fellow gang members if they’ve been to any good restaurants/bars/cafes/food stalls or anything recently so that he can take you there later.
~Also, will try out even more new recipes and even has a little notebook where he writes down your favourite ones. Then, on some grand dates like anniversaries, your birthday or valentines, he’ll prepare little feasts entirely made out of your favourites.
~HOLD HIM FROM BEHIND AS HE COOKS. The first time you did it he froze and started blushing like crazy. He’d pin you to the wall and make out with you if he didn’t have milk on the stove. 
~From there on, he usually demands that you do it each time you ask if he needs any help or feel guilty with how much effort he puts in for you. This is it, this is the payment. Bonus points if you nuzzle your face into his shoulder. It’s his favourite thing to make him relax.
~Compliment his cooking and he’ll be genuinely thrown off. It’s something which always manages to make his mind all hazy and the butterflies in his stomach spring to life. Don’t let him brush it off! Keep going to witness the great mitsuya takashi embarrassed and shy.
~All in all, LET HIM COOK
Mikey
I came up w/ this one while taking a shit
~I can literally see a whole love story forming there.
~Imagine you decided on a study break, went to some shop nearby and bought some snacks. Let’s say, a croissant or two. A full ass croissant with chocolate inside and stuff. And you go to the park to enjoy it. It’s late afternoon, you find a bench hidden in the shadow of some old maple and bon appetit!
~You were halfway in, when you noticed that someone sat at the opposite side of the bench. You glanced that way and saw a blonde who looked to be about your age. He was also eating, but it was dorayaki. Without thinking much about it, your attention shifted back to your treat. After you were done, you quietly left.
~Then, a whole week later, it was also around that time that you decided to have some air, went to the same store and this time, bought a box of cookies. Once again, you ventured into the park and soon noticed that the bench you occupied last time was once again empty. So you sat there and enjoyed your break. 
~And again, the very same blonde appeared and sat nearby but with a different snack. 
You were suddenly pulled out of your blissful state by the stranger’s voice. 
“Can I have one cookie?” You turned to look at him. “I’ll give you pocky in exchange,” he noticed the slight surprise on your face and sent you a reassuring smile. “Is it too sudden? Sorry, but they just smell so good. Seriously, what flavour is this?”
“I think it’s because of the orange filling,“ you extended the box towards him as he moved closer to you. He took one cookie and offered you his pocky. 
“Thank you! Now try this, it’s green tea flavoured.”
“Nice, thanks.”
~No more words were spoken and as you finished, you simply said your goodbye and left. But the next time you went there, he was on the bench already. When he noticed you, he waved you in greeting and another exchange took place, this time, you also had a little small talk. Then, the same situation kept repeating until the two of you sat right next to each other and chatted casually. 
~Every few days, you headed to the bench, hoping to see him there. But after some time, it didn’t simply end on the bench hangouts. He’d ask you to go with him to that cafe you spoke so fondly about. Or the ramen restaurant he recommended. 
~As you began to spend more time together, you exchanged numbers, began to text each other and even developed feelings. None of you could point out the exact time when you fell in love. It just felt so right when you were together, you soon began to officially date. 
~Which brings us to this point. Seriously, you’re like twin souls. It is now a common occurrence for the two of you to exchange food or even steal each other’s. Literally imagine you and a few of his friends hanging out at his place and he looks through his drawers frowning for a while and finally asks “who took my limited edition strawberry taiyaki?” with a death voice. No one dares to breathe, but there you are, head peeking from the bathroom. “Oh, I ate it”.
~Everyone gets ready to hold Mikey down to at least give you a few minutes to run, but he just gets back to his normal mode and smiles. “Did you like it? I’ll buy more for you next time then.” And they’re absolutely bewildered. No, I will never get tired of this trope
~Food dates all of the time. Cafe, restaurant, bar, grocery store, name it and you’ll be going there. Especially if you’re too shy to go on your own. There is no such thing as ‘too much food’ in his dictionary. Eat to your heart’s content and if anyone dares to comment, we all know what happens. 
~Totally the type to bring you some sweets and ask for cuddles, kisses and letting him sleep on your lap in exchange. But hey! You can do the same. Actually, you don’t even have to get him anything. He’s physically unable to say no to you even if he sometimes gets a little bit pouty, a few minutes later he doesn’t even remember why he was mad in the first place.
~Once you have dated for some time, he’s the type to ask you how does your food taste while you’re eating, and as you’re moving your plate towards him, it’s 50/50 whether he demands you to feed him or steals a kiss and then licks his lips and says, “it’s good.”
~The spoon feeding though. He wants you to feed him just as much as he wants to feed you. It makes everyone in the 10 metre radius look away. Especially if you happen to be hanging out with his friends. The moment you start, various groans and sighs can be heard all around you. But at the same time, they all have those little smirks on their lips. 
~Their leader is smitten. Good for him.
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ftmtftm · 6 months
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I know this is just sort of the nature of Tumblr and the internet in general, but I genuinely deeply, deeply resent the way reactionary, inflammatory behavior tends to get the most instant gratification type of attention from both those who agree and disagree with the subject matter in conversations about transandrophobia. It's blatantly obvious and it's childish / teenagerish in a way I am deeply uninterested in. Which sucks because it absolutely comes at the cost of the state of the transandrophobia tag being filled with types of rhetoric I find really distasteful.
It's part of why I've shifted focus into generally just posting more about gender and feminism with a focus on trans masculinity, rather than specifically posting about transandrophobia explicitly honestly.
I think a lot about an anon I got forever ago that essentially accused me of having a "holier than thou complex" or something along those lines and maybe there is truth to the fact that I like being mostly on my own over here in my own corner doing my own thing posting about feminism and gender - but I also genuinely just don't see any merit or meaningful function in being intentionally inflammatory or argumentative or poking bears with sticks for the sake of engagement. It's purposeless beyond the mini dopamine hit a ton of notes and support gets you and that's very much not the reason I made and continue to use this blog, you know?
It'll be interesting to watch though because I'm already starting to see a decline that is really actually echoing what happened with transmedicalist spaces in the 2010's.
A lot of transmed spaces, at least when I was initially being introduced to them, were actually full of a lot of people who were passionate about understanding more about medical transition - particularly the destigmatization surrounding trans masculine medical transition. There wasn't a lot of talk about dysohoria being necessary to transness or brain sex type stuff, so much as it was a lot of guys who wanted more research into different kinds of bottom surgeries, sharing information about top surgery options, challenging biased ideas about testosterone as a scheduled drug, etc. etc.
Then those spaces started melding with truscum spaces and the people interested in genuine medical advocacy began to jump ship because the reactionaries were becoming too much to manage.
I'm definitely starting to see something similar happen right now. And you know? I'll be deeply disappointed if something like that happens to the conversation on transandrophobia, but also? I'll kind of be unsurprised - especially given the fact that I have already unfollowed folks for bordering on things like transmed rhetoric themselves the last few months.
I won't stop posting in the ways I do in my own little corner because I believe in the things I say and the work I do on and offline, but it is fascinating and sad to watch this kind of thing happen again from the sidelines.
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leebrontide · 1 year
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Ok so I said I would do a post on “reasons you’re not writing” from the POV of a writer/therapist who works with anxious, depressed, and neurodivergent clients. If you dig that, read on.
But firstly, a disclaimer. This list is far from comprehensive. Don’t yell at me if your experience isn’t represented. This is a tumblr post. Have realistic expectations.
Also, sometimes the reason you’re not writing is that your other obligations are just taking all of your energy and focus. Fixing that is well beyond the scope of this.
That said, here’s a bunch of barriers I see people run into all the time.
1) You’re afraid of failing, and subconsciously feel like it’s safer not to try.
This is a tricky one, because it's probably messing up many areas of your life, which in turn means you're going to frequently feel stressed out in general, which speaks to the point above.
This is around about where the general internet will tend to offer you an array of affirmations to use to sooth yourself. And that's fine. If those work for you, then use them! BUT, if the affirmations aren't working, then friend you have a bigger project on your hands.
You need to get comfortable with failing, particularly at creative projects. I know that can feel scary and vulnerable, but you won't take risks if you can't fail, which is going to hem in your creativity so hard that your motivation will starve. This is why people talk about writing a garbage draft. Not because they want to make garbage, but because they need the option of making garbage in order to take risks. That may or may not work for you, but either way, you really might wanna look at how to lower your stakes.
2) You’re not sure what you’re trying to communicate.
You can make things happen in the story, but you feel like you’re wandering around aimlessly. You don't find you're making decisions with conviction. It might be hard to really fall in love with any of your writing decisions.
For this one, I suggest stepping back and figuring out what the core of your enthusiasm for a story consists of. That CAN be a message or philosophy. It can also be a feeling or a vibe or a dynamic. That gives you a structure that you can build your decisions around, that you can be enthusiastic about.
3) You switched hyperfocus. And maybe your new hyperfocus is a lot of fun, but you feel sadness thinking about the WIP you left behind.
This one has a similar need to the one before, with an added layer of nuance, because you're probably already struggling with identifying what does interest you. This can make people feel really hopeless and helpless.
I have three totally different suggestions for this one. The first is to just be patient with yourself. Sometimes it's good for your brain to just indulge, and let your brain mine for dopamine where it can. Like, lean in. Spa day for your brain, as long as it's feeling good.
Secondly, see if you can find creative ways to weave your hyperfocus into your writing. Is there a dynamic in your favorite show that can inspire your writing, even if it's an original work? Do you want to take a moment to think about how transportation works in the history of your world? Can you consider your MCs relationship to old movies?
It doesn't always work, but sometimes instead of trying to switch things over, you can build a bridge, that gives depth and texture to your work.
Finally- consider embracing short fiction! Do some writing inspired directly by the hyperfocus du joir while it's around.
4) You feel like nothing you say will be interesting to anyone else.
We understand this is a self-esteem issue, right? You're gonna have to develop the trust that your experiences are not so utterly unrelatable to everyone else that your perspective has no value.
Friend, you are a human, with human experiences, writing for other humans. Trust me, you can do this.
It can help to think about your actual convictions. What do you know? What have you experienced? What matters to you? Funnily enough, the cure for feeling like nothing in you is worth expressing is to pour more of yourself into your writing.
5) You’re collapsed. It’s hard to feel enthusiasm and energy for things.
You're not gonna like this, but for this one I encourage you to put your keyboard or notebook down and stop trying to write right now. I know that when you're feeling better the writing feels good, and you're trying to feel better because everyone is telling you to feel better.
But it's not working, is it? If it was, you wouldn't be reading this.
For many people, writing requires them to be able to feel investment and excitement, because those feelings help steer them towards what's going to work and be exciting for the reader.
Your best bet is to focus your energy on finding gentle little activities that aren't so hard to focus on. Ideally, ones that get you moving just a little bit. You'll have a better time writing when you're less collapsed.
Shaming yourself and getting hopeless and anxious because you can't do this really difficult task right now will make you more collapsed, not less, which will be the opposite of helpful.
And yes, these are depression symptoms. Consider reaching out for supports and assessment around that if you can.
6) You can’t figure out the next step.
Thank God for the internet, this one is a lot more actionable than it used to be.
The first thing to do here is step back and ask yourself "where am I getting lost?" If you have someone to talk this through with, even better.
Then you hop on to your favorite search engine and type in "Stuck on my outline 2nd act" or "can't get started editing" or whatever. People LOVE giving writing advice. There's plenty around. Read some advice! Try things out!
Now here is the critical point- when and if that advice fails, stop and figure out why it failed. For example, I have a short term memory disorder. Most writing process advice is for people who do not have short term memory impairments. So a lot of the advice just plain didn't work for me.
By figuring out that my subpar memory was in the way of my writing process, I was able to put together processes that work for my specific brain and my specific process. You can read about that in more depth here and here.
Frankenstien yourself a process out of stolen bits of other people's processes, with an understanding of your own personalized needs as the lightning that brings it all to life. If you have even traits of ADHD or autism or other forms of neurodiversity (no diagnosis needed) you might also google "ADHD editing hacks".
Finally, and maybe most importantly, chuck anything that you can't adapt right into the trash. I don't care how great the writer who gave the advice is. That's what works for their life and their brain. You have neither. Writing advice is only as useful as it is adaptable.
7) You think of yourself as someone who doesn’t finish things, possibly with history to back that up.
Oh, I feel this one. This was me so hard. For so long.
Make room for the idea that you can and will change over time. Getting shit done is largely a matter of developing a bunch of skills. You've already developed so many different skills in your life that you might not even recognize some of them as skills. But I promise you that you have.
But you see #6? Go read that one again. If you're not finishing things, it's because there's something missing in your routine and process that you haven't developed skills around yet.
I'm not gonna tell you it's easy, but you can find and isolate the barriers and figure out ways around them.
8) You have too many projects and feel frozen when you try to pick one to work on.
Ask yourself if this is a real problem. It may be! Maybe you dream of making a living off of your writing! That requires a level of consistency.
But it also might just be that you've had it drilling into your head that not finishing things is some kind of personal failing.
Write out all your WIPs and story seeds.
See if some of them can be mushed into one. Some AMAZING stories come from people combining story ideas that seem separate into a single story. That's fun.
See if some of them are not for finishing. What's that post going around? Some stories are for finishing, and some are just for "getting the wiggles out"? That's solid advice.
Maybe some stories are just for daydreaming on the bus. Maybe some stories are actually only 1/3rd of a story, and you want to leave it to grow in the ground before you try to do anything with it. That's incredibly valid and common!
If you actually look at the stories that you have that are for finishing, right now, you may find a much more manageable number. And if you only have like 2 or 3 things you're working on, you can just let them take turns as the passion for each project takes you.
Keep a file somewhere of these undeveloped ideas. I have a scrivner file that has each idea it's own little sub-document so I can add thoughts to them for years as they percolate.
9) You get lost in preparation and don’t make it to the page.
A couple different things can be happening here. One thing that may be happening is that you're just a writer who needs a lot of research and prep time before you write. I'm like that. I will prewrite intensively for a year before I write a single sentence. That sounds ridiculous to a lot of people but it works with how my brain works and then when I do start writing I can easily and happily churn out a consistent 2-4k words per hour. If it works it works! Don't let anyone shame you!
The other option is that you feel like you're going to get something wrong/fail/get in trouble if you get anything "wrong". You feel safer doing research, so that's where you stay.
Only you can figure out which it is. Introspect. Then you know whether to focus on managing anxiety or just keep preppin.
10) You want to write, but when you sit down to write suddenly it’s two hours later and you’ve written like 5 words but curated 3 new playlists, read some fanfiction, and argued with some strangers on the internet.
Brains are rough, aren't they.
There are two schools of thought here. Both work, but not for all the same people.
Option 1 is to clear distractions. Download one of those apps that keeps you off the internet. Put your phone someplace that you need a ladder to reach, so you have to very actively decide to go get it. Noise cancelling headphones. Comfy clothes. Protein rich snacks and a beverage within easy reach. Pee ahead of time. Make a routine out of it to train your brain into associating this with focus.
Option 2 is to figure out the optimal level of distraction. When I write nonfiction I almost always have mindless home renovation shows on at the same time. Because nonficiton writing isn't quite stimulating enough to hold my attention. So my attention wanders and I end up doing something that WILL hold my attention. When I write fiction, I need music OR to be outdoors where I can look at trees or clouds or people on the sidewalk. I can't watch any kind of TV.
Think of your attention like a pie chart. Different writing tasks may take up different percentages of that pie. If you're awesome at focus maybe you can just put 90% of your focus on writing, and the other 10% is just making sure you don't forget to eat or something. But if you can't reliably conjure up more than 70% for one thing, then fill the rest of the pie with things you can easily pick up and put down. I only look up at the home decorating shows when my passive audio scanning suggests it's something I want to look up at.
These are both good approaches. Ignore anyone who demonizes either. That only means they've found the version that works for them.
You have your brain. Build a process for your brain.
I hope this helps. I have a free monthly newsletter if you like hearing my rants. It is...not consistently about writing advice or mental health. One time I wrote about how genetically modified goats are related to French colonized Madagascar in the 1800s as well as the modern US military. One time I broke down modern challenges to medical privacy practice policies. This is all to do with what I write but in an idiosyncratic way.
Cause I gotta write about what I care about.
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triflesandparsnips · 7 months
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Lot of takes going around the internets about certain "deaths" in the ofmd season finale, so, uh-- guess it's time for me to try and lose some followers on tumblr dot com with
Some Thoughts on Why I Am Not Particularly Bothered or Concerned about Izzy's Apparent "Death"
Laying the groundwork first...
1. Narratively speaking, Izzy's been a dead man walking since the start of the season. Babe shot himself and got a rebirth-- but he still definitely intended to die. Every minute he was still around was borrowed time.
Did he have to die? Maybe not. I know I could've written a version of the show where he didn't. But then that would be my show-- not theirs. I can't know exactly what themes, bugbears, bête noires, catharsis, or artistic Vibes are driving that writers' room, and until the credits run on the finale of the third season, none of the rest of us can either.
2. Izzy spent the season being in a liminal state-- and there's nothing in the story saying that he can't continue doing that. Izzy spent the season having one foot in one space, one hoof in the other, and himself halfway through the door, a chimera of mirrored things right up to his "death": pirate and ship, hard and soft, old ways and new, etc etc. But "the gravy basket" is a weird little liminal space between life and death, a place that both Ed and Buttons have found (and returned from) before. We don't know where Izzy "is" right now-- he could be there.
(tbh, I wonder how much poor feeling we'd be having about all this if we'd gotten a final tag of a blue-washed Izzy staring down at a bowl of soup while helplessly saying "but this isn't gravy, what the fu--")
3. I think there is an unfortunate belief that "it's not real unless you see the body" is a universal -- or perhaps inarguable -- "fact" of storytelling. But it's not. It's just a bit of narrative shorthand that got popular, and now we're too ready to fall into the trap of believing the inverse is true too-- that if there is a body, then there must therefore have been a "real" death.
This season has spent quite a lot of narrative time and effort telling us that its story is using a different model, with different shorthands; specifically, that magic is real, that there is at least some kind of existence after death, and that the dead can be resurrected.
And that brings me to the meat of why I'm not particularly bothered or concerned about what, at this stage of the story, could still very well be just a minor setback--
4. This whole show, and particularly this season, is a fairy tale. It's a story that works with fairy tale logic and tropes, and it's in conversation with other fairy tales too, ones that the OFMD audience is likely to know well enough to spot their narrative beats in action. So "Pinocchio" gets mentioned a lot? Cool-- the audience applies what is commonly known of that story to this one ("a real boy", the mirror-opposite being a puppet with no nose, etc), and finds some Cool Shit. Then they're primed to keep looking for fairy tales, even unnamed ones, in case there's another little nugget of reward-dopamine for finding a connection.
So the fact that we saw a mermaid? Suddenly, I personally am noticing "Little Mermaid" motifs all over the place. That Ed was in a "sleep like death" -- after fucking around with a spinning wheel -- until his prince came to wake him? Well fuck, man, that's Blackbeard playing "Sleeping Beauty" for us all.
And bringing it all back to a "dead" Izzy Hands... when I add up a "dead" body surrounded by a bunch of laborers mourning the person who nominally kept their living space nice AND who was wanted dead by an authority figure for the crime of being the "better" version of what that figure wanted to be...
...well fuck, idk about the rest of you, but to me that all adds up to Izzy's story being Snow fucking White. Waiting for someone to come pull the bullet poisoned apple from his body so he can live again.
5. This is a second season. Of three. And Izzy Hands is the writer's favorite chewtoy, so there is lots of time, space, and incentive to bring him back. If there's a third season, we have a pile of ways he could be brought back over the course of hours of literal viewing time and possibly months of in-narrative time. That's ages.
And the solutions don't have to be difficult! For instance, we still have canonical hallucinations from Stede-- that's one route. Or fuck it, we could have Izzy's (very solid-looking) ghost be the embodiment of their being haunted by the Sea, that would work too.
And even barring all that-- his grave is right there with our heroes. The ship is out there hunting down his murderer. Even if you're happy he's dead... bad news, friend. He's all over the third season landscape. (uh oh, it's GNU Izzy Hands)
But those are just a few options that leave his body rotting but his character still alive. I happen to think we could all dream a little bigger, darlings. For instance:
A. You cannot tell me that these writers, on this show, with these actors, would not absolutely go all in on a zombie-esque hand thrusting out of the dirt mere hours after burial. Look me in the eyes and tell me Con O'Neill wouldn't pull off an entire digging-out scene only to end with himself panting beside the hole, looking around, hearing Ed and Stede being weird in their haunted hut, and wearily say, "Are you fucking kidding me."
B. Don't like zombies? Want to stay closer to the Snow White vibe AND introduce a love interest for him? One hyphenated word: body-snatcher. Gotta dig those bodies up fresh for the Definitely Historically Accurate anatomists of the time! But oh, says this New Guy, this corpse is-- wow, it's weird that they buried him with a rose and really amazing makeup and a truly extraordinary number of whittled whales, plus what's with that horsey leg grave marker, this guy must've been fucking fascinating, man, I wish I could've met him-- --at which point Izzy's hand shoots out and chokes the guy half to death and the lads come tumbling out of the house and ta da, mission accomplished, Izzy resurrected in 5 minutes or less with his horsey leg conveniently beside him and an entire season for himself and everyone else to Deal With It, amazing, fantastic, no notes from me.
C. Come to think of it, there is genuinely a non-zero chance that the crew just. Fucked up the burial. I mean... even though I was just arguing why we shouldn't see it as Law, we didn't actually see the body. We saw a grave. What did they bury him in? Was it a box? Was it some canvas? Did they definitely pick up the right one when it was time to bury him? Or did they maybe carefully make him an ahistorical safety coffin just in case a cat demon came to bother him and his corpse wanted to make a fuss about it, y'know, very common, could happen to anyone, and Frenchie just so happens to have Blackbeard's old collar bell right here--
6. Here's the bottom line, imo: The only thing that would keep Izzy really actually dead and completely removed from the story is a lack of narrative time and space-- and we have plenty of both. Stories are like Lego. If you've got enough time and you're willing to play with pieces from a whole lotta different sets, it's not hard to put the same elements together in different ways to get new, exciting configurations. It's why I'm actually rubbish at predicting exact details of stuff-- there are a lot of ways something could go, there are infinite doors out of problems the narrative seems to throw at us, and no two people will come up with the same thing because we're all different.
That, to me, is one of the big ways I personally enjoy and engage with stories. And it's why I genuinely can't be fussed about Izzy's death, not when we're only two-thirds through the story as a whole; observing someone setup and then try and execute a complicated narrative trick is my jam.
But my way of engaging with all this is by no means the best or only way. How we all interact with art, and what speaks to us, is extremely personal. If how this season and Izzy's death went just didn't work for you, that's okay. I'm sorry it wasn't the story you wanted it to be. That blows.
I just know I can't say yet that it didn't work for me. I won't know until I can take in the entire picture, just as I can't judge a finished Lego set by the one piece I step on midway through construction. I can see different ways Izzy's death/rebirth could absolutely work, but will the writer manage it? I dunno.
But I'm willing to wait and see if the stupid puppet can pull it off.
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aihoshiino · 4 months
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chapter 136 thoughts
before i get into the sad stuff i need to say that ai eating ice cream with her head empty no thoughts expression blasted ten hundred million billion tons of dopamine directly into my brain. thank you.
This chapter is interesting for a lot of reasons but I will say up front that I'm really glad the story is taking the time to humanize Nino and to flesh out the absolute mess that are her feelings towards Ai. I was really excited when she entered the story because I had always wanted to know more about the 45510 narrator (which this chapter basically unambiguously confirms even more strongly than before — we get the 45510 drop again!) but I was worried after meeting the real Nino that she would be painted as a black and white villain. Through Kana's empathy for her and the movie's portrayal of her though, we get to see her as just a normal person.
Because like… I'm gonna be honest, I feel so deeply sorry for Nino! Like, Jesus Christ, don't forget that she was anywhere between twelve and sixteen when all this was happening. She was just a kid being brainpoisoned by the entertainment industry and held to impossible standards. She had no power and the few things she felt she had any control over were being ripped out of her grasp. Is it any wonder she reached a breaking point?
Not just that but… man, B-Komachi gen 1 just seemed like it was an utterly dogshit experience for everybody but especially anyone who wasn't Ai. Both Nino and Kyun have said it explicitly: they did not feel like valued members of the group. Saitou pushed and favoured Ai to the extent that everyone else in B-Komachi felt like backup dancers who were just there to make Ai shine brighter. We see this pattern repeated in B-Komachi gen 2, as well! I've already talked about how in a very real sense, the group only exists for Ruby's sake and Kana and Memcho really are just there as her accessories but Miyako herself is favouring and pushing Ruby for work to the extent that even Ichigo points out that she needs to give the other girls more jobs. No wonder Kana empathizes with Nino so deeply.
Something else really interesting about this chapter is getting to see what dealing with Ai is like from someone else's POV. Understand that I'm saying this as the Internet's Foremost Ai Wife Guy but oh my god!!! I think this is the first time we've gotten a really good understanding for how deeply, deeply frustrating Ai really must have been to deal with as a person only allowed to see the perfect 'Ai of B-Komachi' mask. Nino is all but breaking down in front of someone she considers a friend, begging her for the slightest bit of honesty and authenticity, for Ai to just show that she cares about Nino in the least… and Ai just gives her a bunch of blithe, noncommittal answers. Even knowing Ai as well as I do, I could almost feel a ghost of Nino's desperation and frustration pass over me as I read that exchange.
With that in mind, Nino's outburst at the end of the scene here doesn't feel like pure nastiness - it feels like desperation. It feels like her lashing out with the worst possible thing she can think to say because if she hurts Ai, if Ai actually shows that Nino's words reach her at all, if Ai's human enough for Nino to hurt then…
But, well. We already know how this all turned out. Even so, like Kana said… Ai's smile is suffocating.
Speaking of Kana, this was a damn good chapter for her. A lot of people seem to have interpreted her as getting 'lost' in the role of Nino but going by this chapter's portrayal, Kana seems to have a much healthier distance from her than Ruby does to Ai right now (BUT WE'LL GET TO THAT….), being literally portrayed as viewing the scene as if from a distance. I do think her empathizing with Nino is allowing her to examine and get out some of the hurt and resentment that's been bubbling away since Black Hoshigan Ruby but things are being so infinitely more complicated by everything else going on around this split.
Speaking of which… whoooooooof, Ruby. Her levelling up her understanding of Ai was uh, not quite as good for her as I'd previously thought. It's important to note that this is pretty clearly Ruby's feelings that she is projecting onto Ai: in 45510, Ai herself explicitly says that she never hated the B-Komachi girls and Ruby blurting this out here feels like a very pointed contrast to that. It's pretty clear to me that we're coming back around to something established during the preproduction phase: that this material is quite literally triggering for Ruby and it's damaging for her to be engaging with it.
… which is why it's so, so scummy for Gotanda to be pushing this. I'm holding back on really going into what I'm thinking of Gotanda right now because I want to see if/how the manga addresses this but I'll just say that I'm coming away from this part of the story feeling much more sour about him than I think I'm intended to. It's possible that this is just because I'm fresh off hearing Jeanette McCurdy's horrific account of how damaging this kind of acting was to her as a child but… I find it really hard to like and get behind a director who is purposely letting his actors endure intense psychological suffering for the sake of His Vision lol
After all, like… for all that he talks about wanting to film 'the true Ai', this Ruby freakout is not that! That's Ruby, snapping under the strain of the pressure put on her. Even if you want to argue Ai felt similar strain… is her restraint and her grace and patience in not giving out under it not also 'real'? Why does authenticity necessitate turning Ai's ugly feelings into a spectacle? Why does Gotanda think he has the right to make calls on what is 'authentic' here?
I'd say "who died and made him king" but that's the point, isn't it? Ai died. She's not here anymore to make calls about her identity and the people who are here and who are in a position to do so aren't actually doing it with care and consideration or proper respect for her memory. This movie has been touched by so many people who have their own agendas, who did not know anything about Ai and quite frankly have no right to be making calls about who she really was and what she really felt. 15 Year Lie is an utterly ghoulish production and nobody is coming out of it clean.
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darlinguistics · 4 months
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'its just IMPOSSIBLE to not be addicted to your phone nowadays its UNREALISTIC-'
heres some advice to being less chronically online. for gen z (and younger??) who dont even know how to start thinking about it and have only heard shitty advice from older adults who just genuinely do not get it, from a fellow gen z and my experiences so far.
*these are personal and may not all 100% resonate but its still good prompting to start thinking about things! PLEASE feel free to add your own stories/advice in the notes! support your fellow humans, dont gatekeep what youve learned, lets have these conversations! and no negativity/pessimism please <3
first thing is to make it a less scary thought, a more concrete idea and not a hypothetical. it doesnt have to be all-or-nothing, cold turkey, a huge announcement and a fundamental shift in your personality. the internet will be in your life for the rest of your life, this is an ongoing relationship you are trying to make healthier thats all! and it takes one step at a time and some self-compassion, but a true effort nonetheless. 'dont you think thats a bit too serious-' if youre my age you quite literally grew up and developed online, it is literally part of your psyche the way your childhood is, it IS serious, you deserve to treat it seriously.
dont save your login info/dont stay logged in for social media accounts, having to manually log in when you want to go on like youre on some elementary school chrome book is a really healthy and clear boundary to have between being logged off and logged on.
-> bigger challenge - uninstall it on your phone in general, only log on on your laptop/pc if applicable for you!
if youre motivated to, try to work on your posture too. i only say that because most of our bad posture is at least partially related to being on our phones a lot, and when i started wanting to fix my posture, completely separately and unrelated from trying to break my phone addiction, it made it easier to lose interest in my phone since i didnt want to ruin my progress with my posture. it made me start to have a mindset like 'well if you cant do this on your phone with good posture then dont do it' and 'if youre on your phone so long your posture starts to cave in, youve probably spent too long on your phone anyway'
listen to music more. its easier for me to kinda write off my phone and do other things if i just open music or a podcast or long youtube video on it. i know we all love long video essays, but i recommend music more specifically for me at least because im less inclined to pause music or scroll while listening to it for some reason? whereas using a show or video or podcast for white noise, im way more likely to also be scrolling on my phone and that is my activity lol. music for some reason i dont want to interrupt and instead of being on my phone i can clean or do something productive on my computer etc
this one is sooo hard but try to fall asleep with some distance between you and your phone, even just a couple feet. mine stays on the desk next to my bed which isnt that far but its better than on bed like it used to be. when you wake up you probably wont feel like reaching for it right away if its far and even better if you have to get up for it because then at least you stand and move your body first thing instead of looking at your phone first thing. and try to get more and more of your morning routine done before touching your phone over time.
-> for me, i started by just trying to at least wake up a bit in bed before touching it, then stand up before touching it, then stand and stretch, then going to the bathroom first, making coffee first, feeding the cat first, etc. its surprisingly helpful to have a specific chore/task in mind that is The requirement so that everytime you do it you get a lil dopamine rush for unlocking your phone from yourself lmao. when the weather was nice i used to make my Requirement being outside first before going on it and i LOVED that. esp as it got easier and i started doing more and more before going on it and finally walking outside with coffee and my phone felt like such a pleasant little reward.
find a hobby that uses your hands. example: i really need to get back into knitting because when i did it regularly so much time that wouldve been on my phone was spent knitting with music/podcasts/shows/(even online lectures! when i felt productive lol) playing. its the same amount of physical relaxing - barely moving lol - but uses a longer attention span and a much better dopamine hit than scrolling, i literally MADE things.
-> you might be thinking, 'but mindless knitting isnt better than mindless scrolling is it?' but that mindless feeling on your phone is just that, mindless. the mindless feeling you get when doing something like knitting is actually closer to a flow state, which is actually incredibly good for you, like a fulfilling nutritious meal as opposed to 'empty calories' or whatever
get a widget for your homescreen that shows your screen time. i have one and of course it doesnt always stop me but seeing that time go up all day the more i use it and the pride of keeping it low is really helpful
practice grounding. in general.
spend more time on anonymous activities and have more privacy and less attachment with your 'persona' - what i mean by that is, i consider things like scrolling through tumblr (for me personally!) to be relatively harmless because i dont try to like,, brand myself here. if youre a tumblr regular you know the jokes - 0 follows, 0 notes, screaming to the void, moots you dont talk to, blorbo pfp and urls, fake names everywhere, and we're having fun! basically targeting the 'everyone is famous now' thing with this one - embrace being a nobody with no personal stakes here
-> personally ive never kept up with having social media accounts that are actually just, me irl - like a facebook or main instagram, like a locals account yknow? but i think it goes for that too - stop spending so much time trying to further personalize your online presence in the hopes of it representing you perfectly - because it never will, and it shouldnt, and you shouldnt aspire for that. your social media presence is lighthearted and incredibly surface-level, treat it like that! thats not me bashing social media either, having that mindset will make it more enjoyable bc youll be using it as it should be used!
do following/followers or camera roll/files or app purges. this is also a soft launch type of way to practice easing into a better mindset. aside from just literally getting rid of junk, the process of trying to judge whether or not you need something is good practice in mindfulness! even if you dont delete everything you feel like you maybe should, thats fine, youll do other purges in the future too. eventually youll get better at parting with things and realizing when things that feel good in a moment are actually bad for you. and it forces you to regularly check in on your more long-lasting parasocial relationships online and how theyre serving you or not
speaking of parasocial - for actual friends, if theyre irl, think about how much you interact with them online vs in person and why you think that is and how it affects you. maybe youll wanna see them more irl if possible (i promise its better for your friendship), maybe youll realize you dont need to keep tabs on them anymore (old high school acquaintances lookin at you). for celebrities and fandom things - try to think about the bare minimum content from them you could do with. you dont have to unstan all your faves and stop enjoying things - but do you need their notifications on? do you need to have a stan account? do you need them on all the platforms? do you need to have all that saved content of them? are there aspects of this that you love that could be found elsewhere?
if youre of the genre of online where you just cant help yourself from getting involved in big discussions or discourse and arguments - i recommend journaling when you get upset by something online, articulating your feelings without the idea of someone ever reading it and without the goal of 'winning' or being the most correct and logical or even the most sympathetic and morally good. take away every audience aspect of it. what is this really about for you, and why would strangers online deserve to hear your personal well-thought out opinions? why would your thoughts deserve to be simplified and misconstrued and underappreciated the way they would be in this discussion? is there even an outcome to this where you feel truly satisfied? are their people who are more worthy of hearing your thoughts who arent part of this audience? is this a conversation that is best held online where so much communicative nuance is inevitably sacrificed?
in the end these are all just practices in remembering how in control you are. and that goes for if any of these are scary or too difficult sounding too! these all become less scary if you remember that as soon as anything becomes too uncomfortable or painful, you have all the power to stop doing it, make a change, and try again later. so much of advice for quitting bad habits can be intimidating because the pressure and the shame that would come from failing scares you out of the possible benefits of trying - just go ahead and kill that shame from the jump. of course youre going to fail! you are going to have setbacks! thats part of it! you have agency in this, always. the internet is not inherently or completely evil nor good. build trust in yourself to make the calls on when it is serving you and when it isnt on a case-by-case basis, and then give yourself permission to learn through trial and error.
and remember you are worth all of this effort. i believe in us <3
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robin1729 · 29 days
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creation is wrong?
As someone who has always been into telling stories, I was obviously instantly fascinated with the idea of being an influencer. So, I started watching interviews of influencers I admire. And they talked about how to create a reel that grabs people's attention, that keeps them glued to the screen till the end, that makes them want to see more of your content.
And then, I saw a lot of the same influencers talk about how addictive social media has become, with its endless scroll and constant dopamine hits. And I was like, what do you mean? Aren't you part of the problem? You are the ones designing your reels specifically so that they give people that dopamine hit, so that they keep coming back for more.
So maybe some creation is wrong? Even shows today are made to be binged. Ten episodes released at a time, every episode ending with a cliffhanger, so you don't close the app, switch off the tv, shut down your laptop.
You could argue that people who are rotting in bed all day (not always a thing to look down upon; depression is real, people) will simply find something else to rot with. They'll binge watch movies, youtube, or a million other things we have now. Did people not rot in bed all day before the internet? They definitely did, right? Does that make it okay to make it easier for them to do that? To create with the explicit purpose of keeping them hooked to their screens?
You can always just throw up your hands, cite free will, and say "hey, creators will create, we are not forcing over-consumption on anyone." You could argue that I am doing the same thing right now. Maybe you, and yes I am talking to you now, my dear reader. Maybe you are doom-scrolling through Tumblr right now, and I am contributing to it. I did write a title that I thought was attention-grabbing. I am writing this post in a way that I think is the most interesting, hoping you'll read till the end. I could say, we definitely have way too much content available to us now, and you would simply reply "But isn't that a good thing? You can write, shoot a movie, make music from absolutely anywhere in the world, and if you are good (and sometimes even when you are not), there is a chance that people will see it! It's why you have an audience, albeit a very very small one, in like 4 days of making this account, Robin." Though I don't know why you would call me Robin, that is obviously not my real name.
I don't know what the answer is. We desperately want things to be either black or white, the world would be so much easier to understand then. But most of the time they're just grey. They have good things and bad things about them. And you can't really stop the world from going down a path, can you? So I guess you just roll with the punches.
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nyxelestia · 9 days
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Girl shut the fuck up you have the political literacy of someone who tunes in once every 4 years the DNC made their own bed by being spineless fascists and that Macklemore can fucking mackle
I almost deleted this out of habit and principle, but I'm honestly too amused by your assumption.
I'm politically active for a living. Not only do I "tune in" to politics well beyond 'once every 4 years,' that is often literally my job, depending on my exact position and employer. My degree is literally in political science, with one of my two lower degrees being in history.
My life would be so, so, so much easier if I paid as little attention to politics as the majority of this hellsite's users.
Meanwhile, you don't have the guts to send me this signed-in.
You hide behind anon while crawling into my askbox and you have the audacity to tell me to shut up. You equate weak-willed progressivism with fascism when telling me off for begging people not to put the actual fucking fascist back in office. You rely on buzzwords while regurgitating the politics of the latest Tumblr viral posts and accuse me of not paying attention.
Did the itty bitty dopamine burst from being mean to a stranger on the Internet make you feel better about yourself? What exactly did you expect to accomplish with sending an unsigned Tweet to an audience of one?
You are a coward.
Tell me, anon: How many doors have you knocked on to talk to the voters behind them? How many voters have you registered? How often have you gone to your city council or local equivalent? How many phone calls have you made to your representatives? How many of your representatives can you even name without looking it up first? How many campaign postcards have you written? How many hours have you volunteered for the candidates and causes you care about? How many constituents have you convinced?
How many minds have you changed? How many votes have you gained?
Anyway, Vote Biden. I don't like how soft he's going on Israel, either, but I know he's still a hundred, a thousand, a million times better than whatever the fuck Trump would do in his place. It sucks that these are our only two options, but these are our options, and people are fucking dying in Gaza right now. Your self-righteousness will not help them. Your moral purity will not help them. Your snide sanctimony will not help them.
Your money will help them and your vote will help them. Everything else is just performative, and if you're not getting more votes in the right direction with your performance, then you're wasting your time.
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transzilla · 1 month
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Forcemasc to Me is really the tits when it's validating.. Like autofellatic, masturbatory, creepy, corny, just like cis men talking about What It Means To Be a True Man and the power of their balls, feeling like a fucking loser for being exhilarated by it, hell even cringy ... Ik when you pop off to some kink that is frankly horrible you get kind of a dopamine rush cus oooh im breaking the rules even tho u know psychologically its probably not the best thing for you. Its harder to do it and believe corny 80s shit right? Like omg, these cringe trans men on the internet, if i partake that makes me cringy too. Like... Yeah. Cringe and being uncomfortable and creeped out.. I thought thats how we roll here
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xerith-42 · 2 months
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dude. xerith. idk if you saw my reblog of madcatlad’s post, BUT. they cooked. the issue on the table: nether withdrawals. i’m insane about this.
very much exploring the idea of the calling being more about fighting the addiction that is the nether itself for shadow knights, rather than purely the aggression part.
thoughts? musings?
Oh Cinn, oh Cinn you've brought my attention to something beautiful.
Little known fact about me because I'm still pretty decent about over sharing on the internet, addiction is something I've actually thrown hands with before. The idea of the Calling as an addiction to the Nether?? Now that's a concept I can latch onto.
I think that there could be ways to satiate withdrawal, but not in an exactly helpful way. The Calling is in Shadow Knights brains like "Oooh you wanna kill your loved ones and come back to the Nether soooo bad." But minor acts of violence and arson can make it shut up. Enough bloodshed, such as what happens at the Werewolf Wedding, is enough to make it so a knight isn't drawn to the idea of killing their loved one anymore because the urge for blood has been answered. Of course... Most Shadow Knights fighting the call aren't exactly happy when something like the Werewolf Wedding happens to them.
As for the urge of the Nether, they could always try to answer that with things that are like the Nether or remind them of it. Sitting by a fire, setting things on fire, sitting in a pool of hot water that can at least try and simulate lava, setting things on fire, existing in the bitter dry heat of an Arizonan morning, or setting things on fire. The Calling always responds best to the most violent solution, and even while trying to satiate it, it's still pulling at the mental strings of a knight to make the most violent decisions possible.
That idea of being able to sit by a fire instead of setting something ablaze really sucks for Knights who might have been traumatized by the Nether and struggle to be around fire for very long as a result, Laurance.
A lot of moments of a premature Shadow Knight lashing out aren't necessarily because the Calling is making them want to kill, it's because it's making them want to go back to something they know is bad for them. It's a drug that they've overdosed on and are trying to run away from still present in their veins and urging them to take another dose, regardless of its lethality. That kind of mental gymnastics and battle wears down at a person even when they aren't actively fighting. Even if they aren't in their head fighting the Calling and it's urges, it's still there. They still think about it.
Laurance doesn't want to go back to The Nether. He would rather die again than go back there. But when he sees the frame of a portal, when he's nearby one that's unstable, he has to fight. He has to fight his body and its urge to go back to that hell. Just one hit will make him feel better. Just a chance to touch netherack and breathe that ashy air will soothe his worries. Because being reminded of the Nether, even if it causes a trauma response, does cause a part of his brain to feel good. The Calling sees fire and gives him a shot of dopamine and excitement.
Wouldn't it just be so nice if he went back? If he didn't have to feel this constant drain? If he was in the Nether then the Calling would shut up, right? Wouldn't it be so amazing to just feel this good all the time? He's already dead, what damage can be done to his body afterwards?
Of course the Calling has two components, both addictive. One is of course the urge to go to the Nether. The other is that urge to kill your loved one and gain immortality. Doing one only makes the other feel stronger. Oh, you sat next to a Nether portal and made it so you're now comfortable in the over world? Bet you wanna kill your lord right about now, huh?
What's that, you actually killed your lord? Well, don't you just wanna come home to the Nether where you're surrounded by people who have all done the same and won't hate you for it? Go on, you know you want to.
Like everything else, it comes down to the Shadow Kings need to control. If he can make Shadow Knights into addicts of stuff directly associated with him, they'll be more loyal. They'll serve him to get a fix of bloodshed and hell fire. They'll come running back to him after ruining their lives for his enjoyment, and they'll fall at his feet for the chance to become a higher up in their army. He deprives them of everything they ever could have had and calls it freedom.
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