#(but it's hard to talk about it without the discussion turning into one about its origin)
Text
I have thoughts about the TTPD speculation/two years/loneliness/sharing feelings through songs train but I'm putting them under a cut because. Yeah.
OK, so I'm giving a warning:
I'm talking about BTTWS, but NOT about the speculation/inspiration behind it. Just about the feelings in it and the Midnights of it all/the idea that sharing the difficult things brings comfort/companionship. So getting that out of the way so we can remove that part of the discourse out of it.
Regardless of whatever the inspiration/event behind BTTWS may be, whether it's about a loved one or personal, I've long felt that its inclusion on Midnights, an album about things that have kept her up at night, is significant in the feelings it portrays.
For instance, we can be fairly certain that Taylor wasn't actually turning in Scooter B. to the FBI and conspiring with his ex-wife to bring him down (or was she?) in Vigilante Shit, just as we can safely guess that she probably did actually pick up that pebble in Wicklow that reminded her of a peaceful time in Sweet Nothing. The line between fiction/reality, personal vs. narrative matters less on Midnights in this case than the feelings she was expressing in the songs, which are very personal and truthful. The revenge fantasy in Vigilante Shit is her working through her anger over having her masters stolen and how she's fought hard to have the last laugh over someone who is a sworn enemy. Sweet Nothing is her reflecting on the dichotomy of her (presumed) quiet home life she felt was safe and the noise of the outside world. (Now, we might speculate on why she was ruminating on this, but that's another story.)
So with that preamble out of the way, BTTWS's inclusion in the tracklist I feel is just as important, again regardless of the inspiration behind it or her personal connection to it. Even if it is a song about someone other than herself, including it as the only "not personal/not diaristic" song on an album as ostensibly self-reflective as Midnights would stick out if that were thecase, though obviously it's her album so she can do whatever she wants and could have her own reasons. (Just like she included Ronan on Red and Soon You'll Get Better on Lover about similar themes, it could just be a tribute to a loved one.) But given all the thematic arcs and parallels on Midnights, I do feel like it's there to include a specific set of feelings being processed, even if the origin on the feelings may or may not be her own. (I'm trying to be really sensitive in my word choices here, hope they make sense.)
BTTWS is a song about loss and grief, and specifically the fallout of an event outside of her/the narrator's control. The person in the song has nothing to turn to to deal with their pain: no faith to guide them, no wisdom to tell them everything will be alright. Throughout the song there is a pervasive sense of isolation: everything is over, they're living without something that was once theirs but suddenly was not. It captures the fog and confusion of living through a painful event without having any way to process. She even says from the start that, "no words appear before me in the aftermath," which for someone like Taylor who has stated over and over how writing is literally how she processes her life would be the ultimate reflection of the depths of her hurt.
(To be clear I do not think this is a song about a breakup whatsoever: IMO it clearly is not about a relationship dissolution of any kind. I just think that the feelings of grief and loneliness in the song may have felt relevant to whatever she was going through during the time the album was coalescing in 2021-22.)
Knowing what we know now about at the very least the period between 2021-2023, Taylor was going through a time of significant difficulty in her life behind the scenes, which is how The Tortured Poets Department came to be, right on the heels of her completing Midnights sometime in early 2022. She has said herself that making TTPD was a lifeline, that she had to keep writing to deal with whatever it was that she was experiencing and going through. And as I posted about earlier today, she's also said repeatedly on tour that not only is writing about her feelings how she processes her pain and loneliness, but that then sharing that music with fans brings her great comfort because it makes her feel less lonely to know people understand and relate to what she's going through.
And we know that she has self-edited her albums over the years (including Midnights) to protect herself and perhaps even the subjects of her songs, which we have seen with the inclusion of the vault/bonus tracks in the re-records and on Midnights. Obviously some of these reasons are logistical -- album was too long, cut songs sounded too much like others, maybe she or her producers felt the ones that were originally chosen were stronger, narrative or sonic cohesion, etc. -- but with what we've seen over the last few years, these songs also filled in the lines of the stories being told and reframed the narrative being told.
Nowhere is that clearer than with You're Losing Me, for example. It's pretty obvious why it was held back: presumably she wouldn't want to release a song about a relationship at its breaking point when she was still actively in the relationship. Yet as soon as the relationship ended, she released it, we can only assume because of her realization that sharing the music and having people respond to it validates her feelings and makes her feel embraced, as it were. Then with the announcement of TTPD and how it's been brewing for essentially the intervening period between when YLM was written and now, we can also surmise that these songs will be dealing with feelings she also felt the need to hold back for whatever reason at the time, but has now decided should be out there so she can feel more whole.
So coming back to BTTWS, it being included on Midnights the way that it was strikes me as a form of sharing feelings that may have been too difficult to process. Again, not implying I have any insight into what the origin of the song is about, or imposing my own beliefs onto her, or that she was sending some sort of secret message with its inclusion! But thematically, BTTWS deals with an intense loss and feeling completely unmoored and alone as a result, which is present in her other work. And that the dreams the narrator once held have gone up in smoke, leaving her reeling about what's to come next. She's cut off from the world because of the event, unable to speak about or grasp what has happened. Similar feelings are also explored in You're Losing Me for instance, and even Dear Reader (not to mention on past albums like evermore, this is my trying, arguably hoax, etc.). Just reading context clues from TTPD and her surprise song choices of late, I don't think it's outrageous to presume some of those emotions are going to be present on the new album as well.
So this is just a long-winded way of saying, I feel like the sense of loss, confusion and uncertainty about the future likely resonated with both what she had gone through in the past, and the story as a whole she was trying to tell on Midnights. And while the origin may or may not be personal or relevant to the new story she's going to tell, I also feel like these same kinds of themes are going to be present on TTPD because they're so important for her to share. (I could even mention that the response to BTTWS may even provide evidence that people sharing their experiences in general brings comfort to those going through it, but that may be veering too far into parasocial "why did Taylor do X" speculative territory.) She sings about these kinds of all-consuming losses so eloquently and mindfully that I know the new album is going to be an absolute gut punch.
(not being self-promotional but I delved a little deeper into the Midnights 3am tracks including this one a few months ago so it's why it's top of mind and why the connections and thematic parallels are so resonant to me lately.)
#sorry i tried to tread very carefully so i hope it still makes sense#i know we all kind of talk around this stuff so I was trying to do the same#while leaving room for interpretation and not getting stuck on the content!#i'm just talking about mood here etc#me thinking too hard about taylor lyrics#writing letters addressed to the fire#midnights#putting it under a cut may have been overkill on my part#but just trying to be mindful of people's dashboards etc#you're losing me#ylm#bttws#bigger than the whole sky#(bttws is a song i have thoughts on but not thoughts about its origin so much as its *metaphorical* (? idk) or perhaps narrative importance#(but it's hard to talk about it without the discussion turning into one about its origin)#(so this is my best attempt to do so)#just clarifying there is no speculation or discussion here just talk about themes#it’s not about the event it’s about the story being told in midnights
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
A slip of the tongue
synopsis: as smart as Alhaitham is, sometimes he blurts out things without thinking twice. It's good, however, that your husband knows when an apology is due, even though it doesn't mean you (and your friend) won't come up with something to pay him back with~
pairing and characters: Alhaitham x fem!reader
tw: established relationship (marriage), little hurt/instant comfort, a bit suggestive, Kaveh is lowkey couple's marriage counselor
word count: 3.7k+ words
a/n: wow, finally releasing this one out of the basement!
Your cheek starts hurting from how long the knuckles of your fist have been digging into it. Fingertips drum on your knee, as legs stay crossed and stare fixed on the figure before you, sitting on the chair across the table and not taking the eyes off of the book pages. The most infuriating part of it? The figure is talking.
"...and so you should be prepared for Rajkumar's endless questions. He might not have any relation to Haravatat or languages at all, but he has a bone to pick with me, so being my wife puts you in a position to attack. And you know how annoying it is to converse with an idiot."
Yeah, probably as much as hearing what you are already aware of. You love your husband, you truly do, but sometimes the urge to smack the back of his head and tell him to shut up is too tempting.
All you said was that you were a little nervous and mentioned that tomorrow is indeed one of the most important days for you. After all, you are going to defend your second thesis, one you spent years to complete and pass all sorts of verification, reviews and censorship. Having the Scribe as your husband had both its perks and drawbacks in the process - he could easily push your work forward to the necessary people in charge of all the mentioned above stages of approbation, but then the fact he was your spouse put a label on you for those who were aware, and it said “Needs to be examined more thoroughly”. Though come to think of it, it’s pretty illogical.
Fortunately you never had troubles with that - after all your brain was in place, and both topics of your first and now current papers were innovative. Moreso, many of your Haravatat professors agree on your academic success and some of them expressed their hope to see you in the role of their colleague in the future.
But it’s for the future. First you need to become the Dastur, and for that you need to defend your thesis in the present. You have absolutely everything ready, no one knows your topic better than you are (maybe only Alhaitham can come close, since he read and reread it multiple times, helping with editing and providing impartial perspective), and years at the Akademyia taught you how to withstand the piercing eyes and prickling words of the jury. You will be fine.
Or you thought so, before just one phrase of yours started this whole exchange that is now happening in your kitchen.
“...and remember the part in the third chapter we discussed with you. This will be the one they’ll claw at, since it’s a turning point in a whole theory and I heard some of them already criticizing it,” the male hums, turning another page, eyes scanning the words written on a yellowed from time piece of paper. This seems the last comment of his, as he falls silent, reaching for the cup of coffee you’ve made him - in the process of which you were short-sighted to voice your concern.
When a minute passes and you do not answer anyhow to any of the valuable advice he’s just given you, Alhaitham lowers his book and stares at you. You keep drumming your fingers on your knee, eyes boring into him and almost unblinking, and it’s not hard for such an observant man to notice a barely-veiled displeasure in your tired eyes and a scowl.
"You know you could've just said you are worried about tomorrow too, and leave it at that?"
Alhaitham blinks, hand frozen in the middle of lowering the mug back on the table. He is holding your gaze and you can practically see the thoughts running through his mind, he is clearly contemplating how to answer your bold statement.
“Why would I be worried?” He finally answers with a question on your own, putting the mug on the flat surface. “It’s just a thesis defense, and if you get rid of your nervousness you’ll see that you already have the Dastur title in your pocket. Tomorrow is just a formality for you.”
“So you are not coming to watch me tomorrow?” Your scowl and frown deepens, fingers stopping abusing your knee and curling in a fist instead. Your husband sighs, marking the page with a bookmark you’ve made for him and closing the volume he’s been on for the past week. Then his captivating eyes are back on you.
“Scribe isn’t required to attend. Besides-”
“Yeah, yeah, you know my work enough to not hear anything new in my presentation,” you interrupt him and he can clearly hear rising anger in your voice that wasn’t there before. It actually manages to shut him up. “As my husband, as my support, are you going to come?”
The man feels a twinge of guilt in his heart. He always prided himself of his intelligence and attentiveness, yet just now he failed to assume what exactly you expected of his presence. Of course he’d want to give you a peace of mind by being there, but it seems he is too used to uttering the same phrase every single time someone asks him to come, that it was out faster than he had a moment to think it over properly.
He sees a bit too late how your face drops when he doesn’t give you an answer immediately - it looks like his pause appeared to be hesitance to you. He slightly panics when you lower your gaze and move to uncross your legs to stand up, having an almost iron grip on the back of the chair.
“Wait- Dear, I will come,” at that your eyes flicker at him, with doubt on display in your beautiful orbs. “I promise, I’ll be there.”
“I thought you didn’t like to be around idiots the whole day,” you huff, crossing your arms, reminding him of how unflattering his words towards some of his colleagues were. You do not mean to act childish, but tomorrow is really important to you, and obviously you’d want to have your husband be there to share it with you.
Alhaitham puts the book aside and stands up as well, rounding the table and coming closer to you. His fingers deftly touch your elbow, and you will yourself not to jerk it, some annoyance still bubbling in your system.
“That is correct. However, you are not one of them,” he murmurs, caressing your arm. You huff again, but this time your posture is more relaxed. “Besides, all you need is to be confident, and if my presence can assure you that, then I’ll be more than happy to be there for you.”
You give him a long stare. Your drilling eyes to his bewitching ones, searching for the truth in the greenish depths, while he stands still, waiting patiently, expecting your verdict silently. It’s as your frown softens, he knows you’ve found what you’ve been looking for in this kind of staring contest.
“Maybe just as quick you are switching from fuming to forgiving,” his palms are warm as they slide up your arms, featherly resting on your shoulders. Your smile widens a little and you meet him in the middle when he leans to press his forehead to yours.
“Oh Archons, Alhaitham…” You shake your head with a small smile and the man feels relief washing over him. You are no longer mad at him. At least, it seems so. That is definitely good. “We’ve been married for years and it still surprises me how you can be a jerk - affectionately - one moment, and a completely sweet guy another.”
“Yeah, yeah… But to your credit you were quick to fix your attitude, and as long as it’s sincere, I am grateful.”
Or rather realizing when an apology is due.
“It is sincere,” he says with emphasis. “You know I am not the one to change my mind lightly.
You hum, content with his answer. Yet, a mischievous glint finds its place in your eyes.
“Even though you are forgiven, I am still complaining to Kaveh about the mean and heartless husband of mine.”
“Don’t worry, he won’t be glaring at you murderously. Much.”
“Of course you are,” he rolls his eyes, but you know it’s playful. He knows it too, and the shift in the mood is apparent, and he is thankful for its course to the positive destination. “I guess it’s deserved.”
Alhaitham only sighs at your giggles. He could care less of what the blond architect would say about him, so he’ll survive some annoyed buzzing from the senior, and if the little exchange which is about to occur makes you happy - he doesn’t mind. Plus it will be good for you to take your mind off of tomorrow.
“I’ll trust you on that,” he finally says, slowly leaning back. You smile, patting the back of his hand still resting on your shoulder in reassurance. With a promise to collect you from your ‘girlish talk’ (you swat his shoulder at that) in a couple of hours, your husband helps you to make a new pot of tea. It’s quite ironic that this one is gonna be emptied while he’s the main focus of the conversation.
Minutes later, when you leave the kitchen with a tray, Alhaitham can faintly hear the knocks on the other end of the house, and the door opening not a minute later, the voice of the man you two have been housing for months coming clear and concerned. Kaveh remained your friend even when he and Alhaitham got in a horrible fight over their beliefs and you were partially the reason why the Haravatat graduate was convinced to let the blonde stay. Though loud, flamboyant and snarky, there is some perks of having him around - even if the architect always complains how he didn’t sign up to be a marriage counselor, he’s never let you or your husband be in a conflict for long (fortunately it happened really rarely), being your shoulder to tear up on or begrudgingly becoming an ear to be talked of by the other man and the foot that would kick Alhaitham into action or the hand that would gently nudge you in the right direction.
Or, just like tonight, simply be ‘your girl’ to chat with.
Alhaitham, as promised, lets you be for a couple of hours, meanwhile busying himself with his book. To outsiders this scene may appear weird and paint the Scribe in an awful light as a husband - but it is just like that with this man. And the strange dynamic the three of you have while staying under one roof: a wife, a husband and their… loquacious canary-like-therapist.
Only when it’s close to the time you usually go to sleep, does he also end up before the door of Kaveh’s temporary room, and firmly knocks three times.
“What?” Unsurprisingly it's the blonde’s voice, and by the tone of it he is pissed. The ash-haired male chooses to ignore him.
“Darling, let’s go to bed,” he calls for you softly.
Alhaitham hears shuffling and muffled curses the architect surely prepared for him and some short, but incomprehensible conversation happening between you two. Not a moment later though, the door opens revealing your face, and your husband can’t help but feel extra weight lifted off his shoulders. No line reappeared between your eyebrows, no pout and no distress is written on your face. Quite the contrary, when your eyes meet, you give him the same warm smile you graced him with back in the kitchen.
“Sure, let’s go. It’s quite late already and we need to wake up early tomorrow,” you hum, exiting the room. Through the gap Alhaitham spots Kaveh sitting over some blueprints with two mugs on the table and a chair placed on the opposite side of the fine piece of furniture. When the architect lifts his eyes to glare at him, the Scribe slams the door closed. To your bedroom you returned with arms linked.
The silence of your shared space is comforting and is only disturbed by your light steps and rustle of changed clothes. The Scribe glances at you every two minutes, still a tiny bit concerned about that animatic exchange you had back in the kitchen.
“You know I will come, right?” The man suddenly asks you, as you’re fluffing the pillows. Your eyes slightly widen for a brief moment, so quickly that he almost misses it, but then they soften again as you chuckle.
“Yes, I know, dear. Sorry I reacted the way I did initially. It seems I really was pent up after all.”
“I could tell. You looked like you could bite my head o- ow!” He gasps when you throw your pillow into his face, which he catches at the last second.
“Oh, shut it, or I might get mad again,” but there is no anger in your eyes, only hardly veiled mischief. He drops your weapon of choice back onto bed and raises his hands in defense.
“Okay, okay, point taken. Any way I can make it up to you?”
At that your eyes strangely glint, and the scholar can’t place his finger on what exactly feels off about it. But it does.
“Actually you can. I’d like you to wake me up when you do, and let me use the shower first.”
And that’s it? Well, odd, but not disturbingly odd. Surely you wouldn’t go as far as to play some pranks on him by mixing something in his shampoo - you are way too intelligent for that. Also not one for revenge.
“Of course. I will wake you when I do so myself, and let you use the bathroom first.”
Even if the mornings are not Alhaitham’s forte, he still opens his eyes disgustingly early, so sleeping for a bit more while you are at your morning routine sounds nice. Not as nice as doing it with you in his arms, but still quite nice.
“Thank you, dear. Now, if you are going to read-”
“Not tonight. You need sleep,” to that you smile warmly, crawling under the blankets, which he is quick to follow. You do not deny his embrace, and willingly scoot closer, extending an arm to put around his waist, as he does the same. Nor you turn away from a kiss he places on your forehead, pecking his chin in response.
“Good night, Alhaitham.”
“Good night, Y/n.”
True to his word, your husband pulls you out of the dreamland just moments later after exiting it himself. Cerulean eyes drink in your sleepy face contorting in displeasure, arms reaching over your head, and body arching in a morning stretch. He can’t help himself, leaning close and pressing a kiss just above the hem of your chemise, relishing the feeling of your heart thumping against his lips. You yawn, reaching a hand into his hair, but your breath hitches, when his mouth is suddenly on your throat, peppering it with soft pecks.
“Mmm… If you are trying to make up for yesterday you are a bit late,” your groggy voice is so adorable to the man. With you he tends to forget how to rationalize things. Yesterday was one of the times when his ‘Alhaitham for anyone else but his wife’ slipped into his interaction with you, the behavior he’s been trying for years to suppress when it comes to you. Now he knows he should’ve acted differently, and regrets his unique way of trying to give you reassurance. If only he-
“Are you overthinking again?”
Your question makes him emerge back to reality. Eyes meet, and his heart skips a beat when you smile at him. Archons, you are beautiful.
“You know I am joking? Yesterday was yesterday, and you are already making it up to me, right?”
Words can’t describe how much he loves you, and at this moment he feels like he’ll never be able to express it fully.
“Right. Shower is all yours. Also,” he leans in again, placing a kiss on the corner of your mouth, “good morning.”
Your smile gets wider and you wrap your arms around his frame to kiss his cheek.
“Morning, Haitham.”
With you gone to the shower, the man buries himself in your pillow, inhaling the lingering scent. Sometimes he thinks he doesn’t deserve you. Your husband is intelligent enough to evaluate his own deeds and behavior, so he knows he is far from perfect to be someone’s partner. Yet, here you are, loving and accepting all his flaws - not without some complaint, but you are trying.
He might come off as arrogant to some people, but in arguments with you, he can tell when it’s his fault and not blame you for giving him a cold shoulder and requesting some space. He might look like he doesn’t care, but he cares for you, for your well-being, for your likes and dislikes, for your opinion, carefully storing all this valuable information in his brain, to show how much you mean to him. He is aware he has a long road ahead of him to get rid of all of his annoying conversing habits, but he is willing to keep trying for you. He seems to not show gratitude to anyone, but he is so grateful that you remain by his side, going as far as telling him you are proud to be his wife.
He wants you to know that it’s mutual.
That being said, Alhaitham is a smart man, but when he himself exits the bathroom after his shower time, his brain is reduced to just one thought.
You are absolutely gorgeous.
His gaze is chained to your pretty fingers, rolling the long, dark green stocking up your left leg. His throat bobs, when the elastic hem of it snaps against your skin, squeezing the flesh of your thigh a little. Then you take the second one, elegantly lifting the other leg and repeating the taunting process, but this time he is here to watch it from the beginning to the very end.
You happily hum, observing your work, and, satisfied, get on your feet, adjusting the band of your panties a little. Archons, you are wearing a matching set of the richest green shade. Lace leaves little to imagination, as his eyes flicker up to your chest, noting the pretty, natural swell of it and the outline of your nipples, and then down, as you turn around and bend to grab the shirt from the bed, demonstrating to him your ass and thighs.
His hand almost reaches out to touch you, to get a hold of the round globe, to sink his lithe fingers in your flesh. After all, your husband is not above earthly pleasures.
But your voice snaps him out of it.
"My love, if you keep standing like this in the middle of the room with just a towel on and no intention to dress, you might be late for breakfast," you chide him not even turning around and throw on the shirt, hiding the bra and some of the lower half, yet still leaving a bit of an appetizing view for an eye.
Alhaitham wills himself to tear the almost burning gaze away from you and redirect it to his own clothes, already prepared and neatly hanging on a chair. You mischievously smile as he takes a step to move past your figure. He's kept alarmingly silent and you are dying to know what reaction he has for your little plan.
The man has just a second to react when you abruptly turn around and stumble into him. Big palms instantly grab your hips to steady you against his chest, and the heart quickens at the feeling of soft lace under his fingertips, peeking from beneath the hem of the shirt he accidentally crumpled in the process. Your hands on his chest are so warm, put out just in time to catch yourself, and Alhaitham finds himself thinking of how would've it felt if your chests collided - maybe the thin material of the only layer of clothes you have on paired with some flimsy bra would not make any difference from direct skin to skin contact?
"Ah, sorry, 'haithy," you sheepishly smile up at him, eyes soft and staring innocently, "Are you alright? I haven't heard you speak ever since you left for the shower…"
Archons, please, don't let his voice betray him.
"I'm," he quickly clears his throat, "alright. Was just about to start dressing."
You hum, pushing onto his pectorals to move away and continue with your own - though slightly changed - routine, but strong fingers flex, keeping you in place by the sheer hold on your hips. You look at him inquiringly, ignoring how the very tips of his thumbs just barely slip under the thin material of your panties to caress your hip bones. It's almost an absentminded action.
"What's with this lingerie?" He finally drops the question swirling on his tongue ever since he first laid his eyes on the tantalizing sight. It's hard to hold back a smirk - you admit you were a bit doubtful if it'd actually grab your husband's attention. Who knew the stoic man was into it…
"Oh, this?" Nonchalantly you tug on the collar of your shirt and Alhaitham sharply inhales upon catching a glimpse of your barely covered breast again. "Do not worry, habibi, it is not to seduce you," he is not that sure about it.
Taking his hands in yours, you pry them off of your body and put them back to his sides, gracing his waist just above the towel with your touch. He shivers.
"I know it's different from what I usually wear, especially to work," you admit, turning around again, to grab the robes of the Akademyia's scholar. "But I really-really loved this one I purchased a couple of weeks ago on that outing with the girls. I feel so beautiful in it," fuck, you are. "And today is a special day. Want to have some confidence, you know?"
And as the rest of your body disappears under the long article of clothing, Alhaitham is finally aware of what this whole thing is about.
It's going to be an agonizingly endless day, where the only thing he can do is watch.
#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#alhaitham x reader#alhaitham x fem!reader#alhaitham#genshin impact fluff
715 notes
·
View notes
Text
bsf!!jj and john b were always getting into the weirdest debates. last week, it was about whether or not animals could think in english, a couple of days ago was about whether that one dress was blue and black or not — this week, it was about boobs.
“squishiness depends from boob to boob. what hard part are you even talking about, jj?” john b argues from his side of the couch, tossing a ball in the air and catching it.
“the muscle, dude— okay i’ve touched enough titties in my life to consider myself knowledgeable on this subject. its squishy but hard.” jj defends, and you try to hide the way your face falls at the mention of him touching other girls. you were an incredibly jealous best friend, unusually so as some might think. you just didn’t like when jj existed around other girls, that didn’t seem like a big deal to you.
“but hard how?” john b chuckles. “do you mean like… fake boobs? because apparently those are rock hard.” jb discusses boyishly making you roll your eyes.
“nah, man. dude you know i’m dyslexic i can’t describe these kinda things, okay. it’s hard.” jj yanks his hat off trying to think.
“whats being dyslexic got to do with—”
before john b gets to drag things onto a new topic, you grab jj’s hand— not thinking much of it as you pull it to rest on your tit. he blinks at you, and john b too falls silent as you stare at the blonde.
“to help you describe?” you state innocently, batting your lashes at your best friend. he licks his lips without thinking, nodding and tentatively squeezing your boob. john b stays silent, more amused than anything.
“so uh,” he clears his throat. “as previously described i’d say it’s firmer towards its peak, but definitely holds that beloved squishiness that overrides the strength of the muscle. kinda like if you squeezed a jellyfish.” he continues to squishing your tit, second nature causing him to roll a thumb over where your nipple was through your tank making you wince. “sorry ‘bout that. habit.” his eyes flicker up to yours for a moment.
“look at you, mr vocabulary.” john b drawls, failing to hide his smirk as he spins the ball he was throwing previously on his finger.
“yeah well, that’s all thanks to my live subject.” jj nods, and there’s a silence as he continues feeling you up. you raise your head from where you watch him, blinking at him as he continues. he realises the moments passed, and he quickly pulls his hand away.
“oh, my bad.”
“was about to ask if you two needed a room or something.” john b shrugs, and you sense the tiniest inkling of jealousy in his tone.
“look okay you can’t give me a titty and expect me not to play with it. thats like — dude that’s like giving a dog a bone and expecting him not to chew on it. damn.” he rambles as he runs a hand through his hair. you giggle and he turns to you, pink in the face. “thanks for uh— yeah.”
“anytime, jj.”
“any time?” he raises his eyebrows.
“dude.” john b shakes his head.
“right, my bad.”
#bsf!jj#jj maybank prompt#idk what this is#it’s pretty clear he’s dyslexic right idk i def believe in that rhetoric i always have
497 notes
·
View notes
Text
Alright GO fans, let's talk Sodom and Gomorrah. This biblical story comes up a few times in Good Omens canon, a kind of offhand mention each time, and the most interesting part to me is the implication that Aziraphale was there.
If you only know the cliff-notes version, you've probably heard it as the story of God condemning homosexuality to the point of wiping out several cities over it. Maybe you've heard this too, but - that's not exactly what happened. Look, I'm an atheist, I have no dog in this race. If I thought it was about smiting people for homosexuality, I'd be happy to call God a wanker and move on. But I've read the story of Sodom and Gomorrah (You can too! It's very short!) and I've read other parts of the Bible that reference it, and I think a much more straightforward interpretation is that it's about offering hospitality and protection to strangers. It's also about the consequences of wanton cruelty, and God laying waste to those deemed beyond salvation.
In Good Omens, the book, Aziraphale and Crowley discuss Sodom and Gomorrah this way:
"Come off it. Your lot get ineffable mercy," said Crowley sourly.
"Yes? Did you ever visit Gomorrah?"
"Sure," said the demon. "There was this great little tavern where you could get these terrific fermented date-palm cocktails with nutmeg and crushed lemongrass-"
"I meant afterwards."
"Oh."
According to the book, then, Aziraphale at least saw the city after it was destroyed. Maybe Crowley saw the aftermath too or maybe he just heard about it. They both understand it as horrific.
The show is more direct, and suggests that Aziraphale was there during the actual destruction. Gabriel asks if Aziraphale remembers Sandalphon. Aziraphale does.
"Sodom and Gomorrah. You were doing a lot of smiting and turning people into salt. Hard to forget."
Aziraphale regards Sandalphon warily during the conversation. I believe we're supposed to interpret this scene based on the popular understanding of Sodom and Gomorrah as cities that God wiped out because of the inhabitants' sins. The obvious implication, then, is that Sandalphon is the heavy, the one called in to deal with disobedience. He's trigger-happy, relishes violence, and Aziraphale has seen what he's capable of. From the careful way Aziraphale discusses their prior acquaintance, I think he feels the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah was a tragedy and believes Heaven's actions were disproportionate and unjust.
I'm confident this is how we're supposed to read the scene. In the context of the story, we're supposed to understand that Aziraphale doesn't approve of the smiting, and that he feels threatened by Gabriel and Sandalphon coming into his bookshop and pressing him about Armageddon. But I'm fascinated by what it would mean if Aziraphale and Sandalphon's history really tracks onto the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. Because if Good Omens' version of Sodom and Gomorrah is at all biblically accurate, and if Aziraphale was there... it's kind of mind-blowing, actually, that he still feels so much compassion for the people who died and still thinks Sandalphon was wrong.
I'm going to explain why, but fair warning, it gets ugly. I promise nobody is actually raped, and I think that promise in itself says plenty.
According to the Bible, Sodom and its surrounding cities are accused of being overrun with sin. God sends two angels to Sodom to verify this, intending to destroy everything if they find it to be true. In the world of Good Omens, I think one of these angels must be Aziraphale. The other one is likely Sandalphon, but in the Bible it's God rather than either of the angels who rains down burning sulfur on the cities so it's possible it's someone else, and Sandalphon is only on smiting duty. Without anything else to go on, though, let's assume it's Sandalphon.
So our two angels arrive at Sodom in the evening, and at the gate to the city, they meet Lot. Lot is an immigrant who has made his home in Sodom, and I think the implication is that this is why he's not completely steeped in sin like everyone else. In any case, he immediately offers to put the angels up for the night, and although they'd planned to stay in the square, Lot is really insistent. He is a good host! Also, he knows the city is dangerous. So the angels go to his house and he makes dinner for them, and then before they can go to bed, a mob shows up at the door.
See, the men of Sodom have heard about the strangers staying with Lot. They surround his house and demand he hand them over. The New King James Version puts it this way: And they called to Lot and said to him, "Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us that we may know them carnally." Several other translations say that the men wanted to "have sex with them". But I mean. It's a fucking mob. They've surrounded the house. We all get what this is, right?
So Lot goes out to meet the men, and he says "Don't do this terrible thing." Off to a good start! Then he says, "Tell you what, I have two virgin daughters. Do what you like to them and we'll say no more about it." Oh boy. Dad of the year award, right there. But still, he insists, "The angels are under my roof and my protection."
The men outside Lot's house are pissed. They say, "You're an outsider, who are you to judge us?" They threaten to do worse to him than to the angels. They swarm him and almost break the door down, but the angels pull him back inside.
The angels then strike the mob with blindness to stop them getting into the house. They say to Lot, "Look, you gotta take your family and get out of here. God sent us to see how bad things were and, uh, long story short, we're burning it all to the ground. You get it, right?"
Maybe you know the rest. Lot's son-in-laws don't believe him and won't leave the city. Lot's wife looks back and turns into a pillar of salt. Lot and his daughters take shelter in a small town called Zoar, and from there flee to the mountains. Everything else is destroyed.
It is a tragedy. The plains are leveled down to ash, until there's nothing left that can even grow. Was there really no one innocent in those cities? No children or animals? (You can't kill kids). Still, I think about that awful night under Lot's roof and I don't think I could blame anyone for giving up on all of it.
So what if that's the story? There were two angels in Sodom before it fell. What if it really was Aziraphale and Sandalphon, trapped through the night in a stranger's house, surrounded by men who want to rape them. Whatever their power as angels, that has to be terrifying.
If it was Sandalphon there with Aziraphale that night in Sodom, I have to wonder what he was like. There isn't any kinship or understanding from Aziraphale. Despite knowing the circumstances better than anyone, he still sees Sandalphon as a threat. Given that, I think Sandalphon must have taken a truly disturbing kind of joy in raining down vengeful fire and brimstone, beyond what you might expect from someone who was afraid or angry. Maybe he was never afraid; maybe instead he revelled in the violence building through the night as the reason he needed to tear everything down. Maybe he was afraid in the terrible way that exposes the depths someone will sink to to protect themselves (maybe offering his daughters was never Lot's idea). Or maybe Aziraphale just tried to reach out to him afterwards, to offer understanding and ask for some in return, and Sandalphon shot him down so coldly and viciously that Aziraphale knew immediately this wasn't something he was allowed to have feelings about. Whatever happened that night, it left Aziraphale feeling more of an outsider from Heaven than ever.
But if it happened that way, it happened this way too: Aziraphale survives a night like that, and when he looks out into the breaking dawn, he thinks, these cities don't deserve to burn. He sees the good in a place that's just shown him its absolute worst. I think that says everything about him as a character, actually. Of course he won't give up on Heaven. Of course he'll fight tooth and nail for his home on Earth. Whatever the worst is, there are still things worth saving. There are still, always, people worth protecting.
On that note, before I wrap this up, I want to go back to Lot's words to the men of Sodom, and draw a parallel that makes me feel some kind of way. Because when Lot declares the angels under his protection, what he says is essentially, "Do not do anything to these men, for they have come under the shadow of my roof for protection." And all I can think about, reading these lines, is Aziraphale standing in his bookshop as it's surrounded by hostile demons, and telling the angel under the shadow of his roof, "You came to me. I said I would protect you. And I will."
717 notes
·
View notes
Note
Tell us your theory on why he says that PLEASE. I don’t think it’s true they have to fix things 😭
So, this post points out a huge flaw in Wei Wuxian's response and its discrepancy to what we know of their relationship in canon. The Golden Core transfer is one of MANY things they need to discuss to get past their estranged, brittle, slightly obsessive relationship.
When we take a close look at why Jiang Cheng is so angry and so hurt here, it's not just about his family or any debt Wei Wuxian might have had to his parents. Ultimately, it's about Wei Wuxian's promise to remain by Jiang Cheng's side. He lost his parents and their entire sect, then he lost his own core trying to protect Wei Wuxian (who doesn't know!) then his "martial brother/brother/best friend/whatever" not only goes missing for three months but returns with new powers and new issues he won't share with anyone. Not even Yanli.
Jiang Cheng wanted to protect Wei Wuxian but was unable to due to larger political circumstances and the fact that he didn't know about the transfer. He didn't know why Wei Wuxian was using demonic cultivation! He warns Wei Wuxian again and again that there are larger risks of his cultivation, and he turned out to be right. Trouble found Wei Wuxian even when he ran off and hid peacefully! And he never knew why.
To Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian asking to leave the sect -- regardless of whether or not it was to protect them from further scrutiny by the other sects -- is him asking to leave Jiang Cheng's side. To break their promise without any explanation. He already lost so much and all he can see here is losing another person he loves.
I want to drive that point in, really.
Any insecurity Jiang Cheng feels over Wei Wuxian's capabilities is often outweighed by his sense of responsibility towards rebuilding his sect and attempting to protect what remains of the family he had before the attack on Lotus Pier.
He didn't want to tell Wei Wuxian about why he lost his golden core for the same exact reason that Wei Wuxian kept the surgery a secret. They didn't want to hurt each other with the knowledge of such a great sacrifice. A sacrifice no one would have ever asked of either of them, no matter what was "owed." The Transfer was experimental and pretty much something no cultivator would even attempt. That's what made this choice so risky and so hard to account for.
Neither had any real way to weight the risks and consequences of this situation, and by never talking about it even during a tearful argument, we got canon events. (I've seen people talk about how Wei Wuxian's circumstances meant he had very little else to choose but survival, but this is true for Jiang Cheng too.)
And really. They both tried so hard to survive. And yet, when faced with terrible choices, they chose to protect each other. Putting their cultivation on the line to save each other's lives is not something anyone would normally do. Duty could have been a factor, but in my opinion, it wouldn't have taken Wei Wuxian that far. It wasn't even a factor in Jiang Cheng's.
And I think this is why people feel so put off by Wei Wuxian claiming it was done out of duty to the Yunmeng Jiang family. But it doesn't start with him. Their entire confrontation starts out with Jiang Cheng questioning what the sect meant to Wei Wuxian, if everything they gave him (everything they were to him) was worth nothing. This is almost entirely a projection of what Jiang Cheng asks when he cries. What he really feels is hidden in questions about martial duty.
"Why did you not tell me?"
For all his words, it was less about their sect and so much more about Jiang Cheng feeling like he was worth nothing to Wei Wuxian.
We know this. But Wei Wuxian doesn't.
I didn't notice it immediately, but Wei Wuxian's whole thing is deflection. It's about telling small truths and laughing things off or forcing himself to forget entirely. By the end of their confrontation, he does it again by asking Jiang Cheng to let it stay in the past, now that it's out there, but this does nothing to reduce the tension. It just deflects it again.
I think Wei Wuxian's response to Jiang Cheng's questions was to focus on what he thought was most important. Duty, debt to the Yunmeng Jiang. It was a deflection from what was really wrong. He didn't want to address his own complicated feeling, much less try to untangle whether Jiang Cheng hates him or loves him, so he doesn't.
Whatever broke between them wasn't about duty of any kind. It was about sacrifice, and the pain of carrying its burden alone. It was about loving someone enough to do something so drastic and never being able to say it.
Jiang Cheng hearing that the transfer was out of duty hurts him deeply, because he doesn't know that Wei Wuxian loves him. But Wei Wuxian doesn't know that's what Jiang Cheng is looking for. He hears the first part of their confrontation and responds to that.
Not, "Why did you never tell me?" But 'Did the Yunmeng Jiang mean nothing to you?'
Those are two different questions.
Wei Wuxian is trying to tell Jiang Cheng that it did mean something. That Lotus Pier's destruction, the Jiang parents and Yanli's deaths mattered to him. He's trying to release Jiang Cheng's burden without realizing that, by saying it had nothing to do with him, he's saying that Jiang Cheng didn't matter enough.
This is not how Wei Wuxian feels, we know this. But, again, Jiang Cheng doesn't.
They're talking right past each other, and because of all their other issues, they not only don't realize it, but might never be able to truly address it. They're so used to keeping their feelings hidden from each other that they can't even see how much they, as individuals, matter to each other.
TL;DR.
Both of them love each other and couldn't say it because of their complicated. Well, everything. Instead, their misconceptions cause them both to focus on the wrong things at the wrong time. By asking about what the Yunmeng Jiang meant to Wei Wuxian, it hides what Jiang Cheng really wants to know: if it was done out of love and protectiveness as his sacrifice had been. By focusing on this deflection, Wei Wuxian hides his own feelings by placing duty to the Jiang sect in highest importance. He gives the answer that he thinks Jiang Cheng wants to hear.
So, no, I don't think Wei Wuxian wasn't telling the truth (or at least not the full truth) either.
In the end, this is not what either of them actually wanted from the confrontation and does very little to address their actual emotional issues. All it really does is open the door for something to change in the future.
251 notes
·
View notes
Text
Robin never really got boys talk.
When Sarah turned 14 she invited all the girls in band for a sleepover. It started out fun. After her parents went to bed they put on a creepy horror movie and watched it in a huge cuddle pile. They braided each other's hair and did each other's nails and squeezed each other during tense scenes and muffled their shrieks after a sudden jumpscare.
After that they watched another one. This time Sarah sneaked her mother's makeup kit down to the living room, and so lipstick and eyeshadow joined the mess of nail polish, hair clips and snacks already on the floor.
The second movie was different. In the first one, the blood was obviously fake and the acting wasn't the best (to say the least). But the second one was tense through and through. The cries of pain were so visceral that Robin shuddered, and in the end everyone was terrified. It was silently and unanimously agreed upon that everyone had had enough TV for the night. It was already 3 in the morning, but tomorrow was the weekend and right now Robin wouldn't be able to sleep even if she wanted to, and thus began Robin's first real boys talk.
It was funny at first. Sarah pretended to die of heartbreak when "the blond hot one" was unfortunately the second to die. Heather said the nerdy one with glasses and abs was cuter, which started a very heated discussion of whether blond or brown is the more attractive hair color. Robin had to defend her correct "redheads" opinion all by herself.
(When the others got into a stalemate Sarah turned to Robin. "C'mon", she pleaded, "you know that the blond one was hotter. Just tell us which one you found prettier! And don't forget that this is my birthday party."
Robin laughed at the ribbing, played a bit hard to get, until she finally admitted. "I actually found the first one who died the prettiest." Sarah was already halfway through her victory dance, when Robin corrected her. "No, I don't mean the dude. I mean the first one. The girl with the pink purse."
Everything was silent for a moment.
Then Emma laughed. "You don't have to be jealous Robin", she consoled, "you are also very pretty."
"Yeah, especially after our makeover!"
Robin laughed and agreed and continued on as if her world just hadn't been turned on its axis. Because she knew that the stirring in her gut and the beating of her heart had nothing to do with jealousy. She didn't find the blond one hot or the brunet one cute. That was the first time she really knew it. She liked the girl.)
It was a bit funny the first time, even though she couldn't really join. It got less funny the more it went on. Suddenly boys was the only thing everyone wanted to talk about. And worse: it wasn't just unreachable famous boys like singers or actors anymore. Suddenly it was all "oh, Steve Harrington is sooooo cute" or "oh my god, Tommy Hagan had suuuuuuch a glowup" and "I want to lick the sweat of his body after basketball practice" (this last one was applicable to multiple different people, including Steve and Tommy. It was not applicable for Chrissy when she exited cheerleading practice or Beth after football.)
She thought it would get better when Emma finally confessed to her crush and they actually got together, but no. It somehow got worse. Because "normal boy talk" turned into "experienced boy talk", and Robin wasn't allowed to admit that the only thing that got wet when she thought of Billy Hargrove was her mouth, because he made her want to throw up.
At first she'd say that she didn't have crushes. After a while of people refusing to believe her (even if she was telling the truth! Sometimes.) she started pretending to be into Steve Harrington. Every girl had a crush on Steve, so it made sense that she'd been embarrassed to admit that she was just like everybody else. He was way too far above her league for her friends to force her to "confess" and she could stare without fear when he passed by in the halls with the beautiful Tammy Thompson in his arms. Truly, it was a brilliant plan. It didn't stop the boys talk, though.
So she became a tomboy. She joined football and she hung out with boys and she cut her long hair into a bob. She lost a bit of touch with Emma and Sarah and the others, but she tried not to think about it too much. Instead she threw herself into sports and started hanging out more and more with Matt, the second trumpet in band.
And that was that. Sometimes she missed wearing dresses, but it was a relief not to have her mother insisting she "do something about that hair" anymore. She and Matt became best friends. She even considered telling him for a while. Until he sat her down and confessed his feelings.
She tried to let him down as gently as possible, and they never talked again. The cycle would repeat for multiple times.
Someone out there is laughing their ass off because who would have thought that the dude she pretended to have a crush on would turn out to be the missing half of her soul?
It started out like always. She teased him, he laughed. They suffered through customer service together. He was funny and surprisingly in touch with his emotions and apparently babysat a bunch of middle schoolers, which was equally hilarious and adorable to watch. They both enjoy sports and they both hate Billy Hargrove with a passion and Robin is heartbroken because she knows she can't get attached. She has already been through this too many times to allow it to happen again. She gets close with a guy, they become best friends, he confesses, she can't reciprocate, they never talk again.
This is what is going to happen. She should already be used to it, but it still hurts. It's better for her to keep her distance. To encourage him to flirt with other girls, even if she can see that he mostly does it to amuse her.
And then they uncover an actual real life Russian spy network right beneath their place of work like some fucking blockbuster. And then they are pumped up with drugs and the next thing she knows is that they are both throwing up in a cinema bathroom.
And then it happens. Of course it happens.
He starts his little speech and her heart is already breaking. She surprises herself when she realizes how much she started enjoying Steve's company. He is a dingus, but she is also a dingus and they just fit.
She is already preparing her apology in her head (oh fuck work is going to be so awkward), but what comes out instead is what she wishes she could've said every time this happened. What she wished she could have said every time she got close to another person, every time her parents questioned if she finally found a boyfriend. Something she really tried not to feel ashamed of, but it was so fucking hard when you had to keep it hidden all the time.
(She remembers when she used to train in front of the mirror. She would stare at herself and repeat again and again "I am Robin Buckley and I am a lesbian. I am a lesbian. I am-")
She doesn't breathe as she waits for what she knows what comes next. What has to come next. There is a reason she never told anyone, always kept it hidden and to herself even if she wanted to scream it into the world. He will mock her and he will out her and he will be disgusted and-
"Tammy Thompson?!"
Instead they have girls talk. And Robin finally gets it.
#heteronormativity being like: every strong emotion you feel towards the other gender is romance#+ patriarchy being like: men are entitled to women#= robin suffering#</3#fun fact i actually never had to invent a crush#like they questioned that i never seemed to be into anybody sometimes#but i always said it so vehemently and also outside of 'boys talk' that they just believed me after a while lol#but i know of multiple ppl who had to#robin stranger things#stranger things#steve harrington#robin buckley#pen.#stranger things drabble#robin buckley drabble#stobin#platonic with a capital p#platonic stobin#does this count as a character study?
724 notes
·
View notes
Text
🪐 Astrology Observations 5 🪐
Capricorn Moon signs start to look more attractive to other people when they reach middle age (after 40).
You may know that the Moon is at its lowest position in Capricorn. So how did I make such an observation despite this position? By middle age, many turning points in a person's life are completed. The moon is one of them. Now the mature (Capricorn) emotions (moon) begin to show themselves.
Then these people, who maximize their emotional maturity, improve the problems in their relationships with their mothers and sometimes succeed in camouflaging their feelings and sometimes in sharing their feelings with people they feel close to.
(This was the position I observed in men).
~
I think the Sun Ascendant square aspect is really challenging for a man. He has a problem with the authority figure, the father from an early age. It may not be completely confrontational (unless Mars, saturn, uranus and pluto are in hard influence)
Being in the same environment together can make them feel like they are being restricted. Maybe they feel that something is wrong. But is it really what they think it is? Yes. With the other person, (the Sun) it is very difficult for them to forget everything and get back together with them. (Orb should be maximum 6)
~
Although they say that Juno is only a marriage indicator and other asteroids can show ceremonies like weddings, I don't go into that much detail. I think even Juno can show the wedding process. For example; I had a friend with Juno in Virgo. Maybe she didn't scrutinize the person she was going to marry down to the most meticulous detail, but the wedding process was exactly like that. She had prepared details down to what the guests would wear. Ugh I think it is very tiring, even though I have Virgo juno, lol
Juno in Virgo may have met the man she will marry at work.
~
Chiron - Moon square aspect, this aspect allows you to feel the healing and wounded spirit of Chiron deep down. Let's not discuss whether it's good or bad, but it's certainly very palpable. Your emotions are shaped by "compassion". For example, you see a homeless man and a little child a little further away. You feel infinite compassion for these two people and a desire to give them a home. You take into account the situation and circumstances and just think that they are in need of help. Independently of this, I find it interesting that people with this aspect do not get enough support from the women around them. Maybe this is how the "lacking" aspect of chiron works. I would like to write a more detailed article about Chiron.
~
Having a Venus-Neptune-Jupiter T-square. The signs and houses where the planets are located will play a serious role. I know someone who has this T-square in 2nd-4th-10th houses. I realized that he is not where he is supposed to be because of his family's pressures. He doesn't want to talk about it but I can observe it. Sometimes his mother and sometimes his father try to shape his future position, how he will earn money without asking him. This will hurt him a lot but he has a very strong character and he will get what he wants at the end of this path.
~
Having Pluto aspects in synastry is known to be quite difficult. But you should know that it is difficult for the planetary person. Because they are both deeply attracted to Pluto's mysterious aura and very annoyed by it. Both of these feelings are exhausting for them. I am not saying that Pluto benefits from this, but things are much simpler for Pluto. It's the other one who gets exhausted.
In the next post I will write about the ascendants in the Composite chart. New post will be coming very soon, please get in touch if you have any observations you would like to share.
TAKE CARE,,, 🌬
#astrology#astro#astro observations#natal chart#synastry#composite chart#mercury#moon#saturn#sun#venus#mars#jupiter#conjunct#trine#sextile#opposite#square#tsquare#natal#astro notes
255 notes
·
View notes
Text
— boyfriend! chris sturniolo
pairings: chris sturniolo x reader
warnings: sfw & nsfw!! i put a divider for ya
notes: again, from experience. i love my bf! ❤️ not proof read
♥︎. loves cuddling. he’s a big ole softie with you. you playing with his hair & scratching his back at the same time is like his kryptonite.
♥︎. he’s kinda pda personified. the man truly doesn’t give a fuck about what other people see him do. he’s more modest if he’s around his brothers.. but strangers? he couldn’t give less of a fuck and will try to get you to make out with him in public.
♥︎. he used to think it was corny asf when people made playlists for their significant others but he’s made multiple for you! are they filled with rap & trap music?? yeah but it’s the thought that counts
♥︎. you love to show him off and he loves to show you off, y’all are private in the sense of none of your relationship details are public but everyone knows you’re together cause it’s impossible for the other not to be included in a post. he’s proud of bagging such a bad ass bitch.
♥︎. he tries to force you to travel with him when they go back and forth between boston and la, he hates being away from you for longer than a day. you’re one of his favorite people.
♥︎. trust is sooo important to this man. he doesn’t fw that sharing passwords & looking through each others phones shit. he’s got nothing to hide but it feels like an invasion of privacy, his phone is basically his second person, it’s with him 24/7. if you don’t trust him and if he doesn’t trust you then it won’t work. 🤷🏽♀️
♥︎. communication is also huge. y’all are both stubbornnnnn. it’s so hard for either of you to admit when you’re wrong but for the sake of your friendship and romance, you always talk it out. y’all could not talk for hours on end but you’ll always semi resolve it before it’s time to go to bed for the day. you both hate going to sleep upset with the other.
♥︎. always touching you. linked pinkies, holding hands, touching feet, holding arms, resting heads on the others shoulder, he’s cool with it all. he just likes the physical assurance that you’re right there.
♥︎. he loves being your passenger princess because it means he can control the aux, as we all know man loves his music.
♥︎. he is very possessive over you but not in an over controlling way, you wear whatever you want, he’ll be your biggest cheerleader but if another guy tries to flirt with you he’ll be escorting you out of that situation immediately. no entertaining it, ever. he don’t play abt you.
♥︎. he knows you’re hot so when people say it via social media it doesn’t bother him. it’s only when people intentionally disrespect him when he gets pissed tf off and almost beats a mfs head into cemant. (go white boy gooo!)
♥︎. talking to him is your favorite thing. he could truly go on and on for hours and you’d listen the entire time. he offers such a unique perspective when you’re discussing anything, and you can tell he genuinely cares about what he’s saying and what you’re saying. he’s very good with his words.
♥︎. you’re probably the only person he could sleep in the same bed with for multiple days in a row.
♥︎. he values your presence sooo much and aways vocalizes that. he never wants you to forget just how much you mean to him. he’s truly be lost without you and that scares him so bad.
HORNY BELOWWW, i’m not your parent but rwc
♥︎. public sex is his thing, he loves it. he doesn’t know why he loves it but he does. maybe its the possibility of getting caught, maybe its the fact that you’re always down to fuck him wherever you are, probably both!
♥︎. likes receiving head more than giving but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know his way around your body. he knows exactly what to do to earn specific reactions and he gets turned on over just how well he knows you.
♥︎. y’all know that one country song?? that goes “i know every curve like the back of my head” yeah.. thats chris. he’s got your body MEMORIZED. like engraved in his head, he may act like he’s tryna explore when he touches you all over but there’s no part of you he hasn’t seen. and anything he doesn’t remember? in his my eyes only thats fulll of your nudes 😛😛 he loves his lady!
♥︎. speaking of nudes, he’s a sucker for them. he���d actually do anything you asked him to if it meant you’d send him some. he’s such a boy but he can’t help it when it comes to you, he loves every inch of you.
♥︎. he loves when you wear mini skirts. your ass and thighs always look… phenomenal??? and he enjoys the easy access. y’all have had public bathroom sex more times than you’d like to admit! 😅
♥︎. doggy is his favorite position. he’s an ass guy, doesn’t matter the size, he just lovesssss ass. what gets him off even more though is fucking you doggy in front of a mirror. you watching yourself get fucked by him turns him on beyond belief.
♥︎. you weren’t necessarily a slutty girl but when you started dating him something like shifted with you sexually. you genuinely need that man in your pants 24/7!!!!! like why is he not in your bed RN??? sickening.
♥︎. he hates skinny jeans on everyone but you, the way they hug your legs, thighs, and most important to him, your ass is wayyy too sexy for him to hate them. he loves when you’re out in public and wear them because he gets to see your ass in basically full display 🤗
♥︎. he likes to be the more dominant one most times but the man must admit when you boss him around in and outside of the bedroom it’s the sexiest thing in the world. he finds your confidence sooo hot.
♥︎. you LOVE to overstim him. and he loves it when you do it too, selfishly because all the attention is on him and he’s a cocky guy.
♥︎. when he overstims you tho??? heaven. actual heaven. he’ll eat you out till you cry, safe word is the only thing that’ll make him stop if he’s realllyyy into it.
♥︎. shower sex is his favvvv too. he loves the intimacy. plus it makes clean up easier, he’s a lil slacky in the aftercare department so anything to remove an extra step for him
♥︎. y’all fucked on the roof of your house ONCE after you played him that one ariana grande song and he still recalls it as the best sex of his life. you’re pretty sure he’s a fanatic for public sex.
♥︎. he genuinely wants to have sex with you everydayyyy. you have no idea how bro has so much stamina to want it everyday but of course you’re always down! you are a literal whore for him. your brain just goes la la la la la la when you’re with him.
#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo oneshot#chris sturniolo headcanon#chris sturniolo imagine
229 notes
·
View notes
Text
smile like you mean it - chapter five
You knew filing for divorce would be no easy feat. But filing for divorce from Roman Roy?
"No easy feat” might as well have been synonymous with “impossible."
warnings: drug use, alcoholism, miscarriage, Roman and the rest of the Roy family being awful.
chapters 1-3 // chapter four
music
chapter five
10 ways to get someone to like you: A foolproof guide
If you want to be liked, be likable.
Roman scowled and slammed his laptop shut, carelessly tossing it to the end of the bed.
“What a stupid fucking article.”
He got up and stretched, his limbs still rigid from a heavy sleep. If there was anything positive to come out of the complete and utter shitshow that was the day before, a good night’s sleep took the cake. Rest was something Roman didn’t get a whole lot of lately, but when he did sleep, he slept hard.
Prior to becoming COO of Waystar Royco, he had always been a heavy sleeper. It wasn’t unusual for him to get eight hours of shuteye even after napping all day. He had a copious amount of (not-so-fond) childhood memories in which Connor, Kendall, and Shiv jumped on his bed in order to wake him up. They often had to hit him with pillows and shake him to the point of nausea to get him to finally open his eyes.
Well, they didn’t really have to.
There were a small handful of differences between now and then.
Although he would never admit it, his job was a big source of stress for him. The most pathetic thing about it? Most days he didn’t accomplish even twenty five percent of what his colleagues did. And what he was able to do completely exhausted him. It was a lot to live up to, being the inheritor—and now a figurehead—of a monster he hadn’t created; a monster he wasn’t even sure he wanted to keep feeding.
Another major difference between now and then was that Kendall no longer needed to shake him from a dead sleep in order to make him feel nauseous. All it really took was watching him walk into your room in the middle of the night, casual as could be, to put Roman into a not-so-ideal headspace.
“Acting like he was reuniting with an old friend or some shit,” he mumbled under his breath. He got into the shower, his mind going a million miles a minute as he continued talking to himself. “I’m Kendall,” he mocked. “I’m better than everyone now, didn’t you know? I went to rehab. I drink green juice. I’ve read The Secret. I don’t have stress anymore because I never see my own children. Look how stable I am now.”
This was the one downside of being so well-rested. His brain actually lived up to its potential. His mind simply refused to slow down. No matter how hard he willed himself not to think of you, he only thought about you that much more. Not that this was all that different from any other day. Roman thought about you all the time, sleep deprived or not.
He liked you. Okay? Even with your cheap clothes and your shitty attitude and your refusal to sit next to him in the car, he had some…feelings when it came to you.
Ew.
He hated it when you were upset with him, and he hated it even more when you weren’t around.
From the first time he saw you, he liked you. A lot, actually.
Roman liked you a lot.
He had gone to your room the night before to say he was sorry discuss how hypersensitive you were being in response to the hilarious things he said, but he stopped short in the doorway.
As it turned out, you were busy. So as any gentleman would, Roman said fuck that noise and booked it back to his room. That was the second time you made him run that day, you little jerk.
He wondered if he should take bearing witness to that stomach-turning embrace between you and Kendall as a sign. Perhaps he should never apologize to anyone, for any reason, ever again. Not even to those who deserved an apology. Not even to you. If that was what he got for trying to be the bigger person, having to watch his stormcloud of an older brother get what he wanted without even having to try, well…what was the point?
“Likable. Likable? What does that even mean?” he asked himself.
Why would the author of that article automatically assume the people reading it were the unlikable ones? What kind of introduction was that? Why should he have to shoulder the responsibility of someone not liking him? Why should he have to do all this work to win you over? Why was he even worried about it? You should be the one trying to get into his good graces. You should be the one typing stupid questions into Google at seven o’ clock in the morning, not him. It didn’t matter that he called you a run-of-the-mill, ladder climbing, H&M wearing plebeian (or a coffee gopher). It didn’t matter that he had driven you to the brink of a full blown mental breakdown under his tenure. It didn’t matter that knowing he was the one that made you cry felt like a punch to the gut.
...which didn't even turn him on, by the way.
None of it mattered. He shouldn’t have to apologize for a thing. You were obviously sleeping with Kendall. Kendall! Even if you weren’t working for him, sleeping with Kendall would still put you in the wrong in any context. You were trying so desperately to make Roman believe he was the problem, just as everyone else did. You little gaslighter.
You weren’t seriously going to leave over a couple of little insults, right?
Right?
He was so distracted by his own thoughts, he somehow managed to get a concerning amount of shampoo in his eyes.
“Ow, FUCK!”
Following five stressful minutes of washing his eyes out (or trying to, anyway), he slumped over and held his hands over his face, allowing the water to run directly over his head. He could still picture you crying on the plane, which he had been doing on a loop for the past several hours. He could concede that he came off a little unpleasant at times, but it was more of a defense mechanism than anything. Deep down, Roman knew he didn’t take anyone seriously simply because no one else took him seriously. But you had wanted to be taken seriously, and did everything to earn that.
You were having some relatively fun banter prior to the moment he turned on you like a feral dog. When he was finished with his cutting little monologue, you looked like you had been slapped. Seeing you so upset and proceeding to mock you for it…
Ugh.
This was not uncharacteristic of Roman, but it wasn't necessarily his proudest moment, either. It made him sick to his stomach, as a matter of fact.
A lot of things about the past few days made him sick to his stomach.
He could remember having a similar feeling from when he was growing up. Everything would be fine and dandy until he would say or do one little thing to set Logan off, and then bam:
First came the hurt, then came the ridicule.
“Oh, you’re crying now? You’re crying? Why don’t you just go tell Kendall about it? I’m sure he’d love nothing more.”
Roman cringed at his own words.
First came the hurt, then came the ridicule.
And then he was alone.
If you want to be liked, be likable.
He would never say it to you directly, but if he could, he would.
"I’m sorry I made you so sad."
☽
“You have no idea how things will turn out, and it’s very juvenile. It’s fucking dumb. You’re being dumb!”
You cringed as Kendall’s words bounced around in your head.
Last night had been very interesting, to say the least.
For several hours now, you lay flat on your back, slipping in and out of a restless sleep. When you did become lucid, you simply stared up at the impossibly tall vaulted ceiling. It was painted and preserved beautifully, gold borders encasing rich shades of red and blue. You reached your arm up, pretending to trace and retrace the intricate patterns with your fingers. Exhausted yet unable to sleep, you needed something mindless and soothing to wind yourself down.
Sadly, your efforts were to no avail. Your mind was still racing, hyper focused on what transpired the night before. It was jarring to think that just a simple “so, how have you been?” from Kendall would open a Pandora's box you had no clue even existed. You didn’t have much time to concentrate on it, though. At that moment, two things happened at once.
You felt a stab of panic as you received a notification that your flight was now boarding. You couldn’t believe it. You had missed your flight. You had dissociated to the point of having missed your flight. And before you could even sit up, you were startled by a loud banging noise against your door. It sounded like someone was ramming something into it full force. You weren't even sure who you were hoping not to see at this point.
Not since Kendall went absolutely ballistic on you.
“Knock, knock!” a familiar voice yelled. He didn’t bother actually knocking, nor did he wait for you to respond. He probably thought the unpleasant crash was sufficient enough.
You were almost relieved.
Enter one Roman Roy.
But he wasn’t alone. In front of him was the culprit, the battering ram that nearly gave you a heart attack, in the form of a large metal breakfast cart. If that wasn’t bizarre enough, he was dressed in athletic wear. He looked out of place in such a grandiose room, like you were playing a beginner’s version of “I Spy.”
I spy with my little eye something reprehensible.
“Here comes the breakfast fairy,” he said in an awkward, singsong voice. He slowly rolled the unsteady cart towards you. “Here to um…y’know. Bring you breakfast. Breakfast just for you.”
A wheel broke off as he made his way over, making coffee spill onto the tray. He cursed as he shakily lifted the tray up off the cart and reached over to hand it to you. You gawked at him. “Okay, that’s what I get for saying that. That was fucking stupid. I didn’t say that. You don’t remember me saying that.”
“You brought me breakfast?”
“It would appear so,” he said cheerfully. “Like a good boy.”
“I missed my flight,” you blurted out awkwardly.
He paused for a second, taking a deep breath before reverting back to his typically rude delivery. “Yeah, not my problem. Can you please just take the tray? It’s really heavy.”
“I missed my flight,” you repeated.
He ignored you and slowly set the tray on your lap. He lifted the lid to reveal a pretty solid breakfast as far as you were concerned: a single poptart and two comically large cups of coffee. One was black, the other a latte with a poorly drawn happy face carved into the foam. You would have laughed if you weren’t so stressed out. All of this buildup for a lone pastry and an alarming amount of coffee.
“Where’s the second poptart?”
“I ate it. Obviously. Don’t be ungrateful,” he snapped. “You like wildberry, right? You seem like you would like wildberry. A little fun, a little different. Spice up your life, or whatever.”
You rolled your eyes, breaking the poptart into several pieces before taking a bite. “You could have the most elaborate breakfast in the world, and yet you’d prefer to have this?”
“What? I may be rich but that doesn’t mean I like exclusively rich people things. Have you seen rich people food? I mean, probably not but…”
You tentatively picked up the latte. “Did you poison this? Did you spit in this?”
“Hah, you wish.”
“I wish?”
“I mean, I can if you’d like,” he said, leaning towards you.
“No!” you yelled, making him wince. You lowered your voice. “Sorry, no. I think I’m alright.”
He reached down to pick up the other mug. “This one's for meee.”
“Of course it is.”
He gasped, cradling the side of his face with his palm in mock excitement. “Uh oh. I have an idea. Do you want to spit in mine?”
“I hate this conversation," you sighed. "You’d probably be into that, so I’m gonna say no.”
“Well, how do you know for sure that the cool one is yours?”
You shrugged. “Because I’m cool.”
“You sure about that?”
“And I know you like your coffee black.”
“Touché,” he said, leaning against the wall across from your bed. You both drank your coffee in silence for a few moments.
“Did you bring this from home?” you asked, pointing to the poptart.
“No. I made that lanky muppet go buy me a box.”
You raised your eyebrows. “Wh...Wait, are you talking about Greg?”
“Yeah, I figured I would send Gumby on a little errand since I apparently can’t do that with you anymore. Since you’re—” he made air quotes with his fingers—“quitting.”
“Wait, does he even know how to drive in the UK? How did he even get to a store? We’re miles from—”
“I told him I would make him sleep outside if he didn’t figure out a way to score me some. I have no clue how he got all the way out into the city so fast. Can you believe that? Being tall does have its perks, I guess. His strides had him moving at the speed of light, apparently.”
You gawked at him again, horrified.
Poor, poor Greg.
You dropped the remaining pieces of the poptart on your plate. “I’m not hungry anymore.”
“Oh come on, it’s funny. Don’t let his efforts be in vain.” He took a big gulp of coffee. “Anyway. I was thinking...”
“Why are you dressed like that?” you asked.
“Like what?”
“Like a fitness influencer.”
“I was getting to that. Don’t interrupt me.”
You leaned your head back and groaned.
“Okay, drama. Calm down. We’re all supposed to go golfing this morning, but I hate golf. I'm pretty sure you do, too. You told me once. So I thought maybe we could, like. I don’t know. Pretend to go for a run like we usually do? Talk? Only if it’s not going to cut into your busy schedule, of course. Ms. Newly Unemployed.”
“Roman, what could you possibly want to talk about? If you’re going to try and convince me to stay, don’t waste your time.”
“I was thinking we could get to know each other, at least a little bit. That way, I would know what to put in your reference letter when you blow this popsicle stand.”
“Yeah. Like you would write the letter yourself,” you mused. "Like you even could. You can't even reply to an email in a timely manner."
“Hey!”
“Fine. It’s not like I’ve got anything better to do. Like I said, I missed my flight and am feeling like a total idiot. Bet you’re really getting off on that one.”
He stared at you for a few seconds, like he was thinking carefully about what to say next.
“What?” you asked.
He sighed. “I’m not getting off on it as much as you might think.”
You raised your eyebrows.
“I don’t know how you perceive me exactly, but I have a general idea. And I know this might come as a shock, but like I said, I’m really not that bad. I mean, okay. I am. I am. But not in every situation, not always. I’ll have you know, I do have my moments.”
“Yeah? When?”
“Right now, maybe? Look, I brough—”
“Brought me breakfast. Yeah. I can see that.”
“Which I still haven’t gotten a proper thank you for, by the way.”
“I’ll give you a proper thank you when you give me a proper apology.”
“Fine. Okay, I’m sorry I was a little unreasonable with you yesterday. I’m sorry I, uh…manhandled you when we were getting into the car. Or tried to. Like, really, really tried.You’re pretty strong, you know that?”
“Is that all?” you asked, cocking your head to one side.
“And I’m sorry for what I said about you and Kendall. And calling you names. I didn’t mean it. That about covers it, right?”
“And?”
“...being a dick?”
You considered not even bringing it up, but since you decided to quit your job, you simply did not care anymore.
“Aren’t you sorry that you lied to me?”
“Wait, what?” he asked, on the verge of laughter. “I didn’t lie to you. Lie to you about what?”
Your conversation with Kendall rang loud and clear in your ears.
“It’s so good to see you. I wish you could’ve been on the flight with us, but I know you got held up. Work comes first.”
Work comes first? What did that have to do with there not being enough seats on the jet?
“Got held up?”
“Yeah, Roman told us you guys were swamped.”
“I…I mean, yeah. I’m always busy, but we flew separately because Roman told me there wasn’t enough room on the plane for us.”
“I’m sorry. What did you just say?”
“Yeah, he said there were some issues with the seats. A few of them needed to be repaired, so there wasn’t enough space for everyone.”
“Are you…oh my god,” Kendall scoffed. “Oh my fucking god.”
“Ken, I don’t—”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
“Roman, why did we fly here separate from everybody else?”
Roman choked on his coffee, making him stop to clear his throat. “I already told you, there wasn’t enough space for our sparkling personalities on Dad's favorite plane.”
“Not enough space?”
“Yep.”
“You sure about that?”
“Look, no matter what evocative bullshit you send my way this morning, you can’t change my mind. I’ve already decided. I want to make things up to you. So, if you’re upset that I maybe told a little white lie, I’m sorry.”
“So you did lie, then?”
He eyed you sheepishly.
“Sort of. How did you figure it out?"
“I don’t get it. Of all things, why would you lie about that?”
“I don’t know, maybe it had something to do with me not wanting to hang out with my family in a torture chamber for hours? What if we crashed? You think I wanna die surrounded by a bunch of scorpions?”
“They’re your family!”
“Unfortunately."
“If the two of us crashed together, you’d have died alongside someone that doesn’t even like you. How is that more appealing?”
"Oh, how you wound me," he said flatly. “That may be so, but you don’t annoy me. Not to mention, you only sting me if I sting you first. It’s refreshing.”
You didn’t have the mental bandwidth to analyze that one this morning.
“Alright, fine. But your apology tour isn’t quite over yet.”
“You do know I don’t have to apologize to you at all, don’t you? You’re leaving. You’re basically nothing to me.”
“And yet, here you are.”
“What can I say? I’m just such a nice guy.”
You both stared at each other for a second before launching into hysterics.
Roman sighed as you both attempted to stop cackling. “You know this is the most you’ve smiled at me in…like, ever? Is that poptart really that good?”
“I just feel relieved is all.”
“And why is that?”
“Why do you think?” you asked. "I'm finally freeing myself from your reign of tyranny."
"Do you really hate me that much?" he asked, setting down his mug. “We have fun sometimes, don't we? I mean, we got into a blowout argument yesterday and now we're totally fine. Even when we argue, I still don't feel like we're enemies. And believe me, I have a lot of those. Are you sure you want to leave?”
The way he was looking at you was truthfully making you a little sad. But as per usual, he wasn't thinking logically. You were practically attached at the hip every day. Of course there was some level of familiarity between the two of you, even amidst all the chaos. It was easy to mistake for friendship, given how often you were in communication, given how much you did for him. But that was your job.
You had to stop yourself from smiling.
Not anymore, it wasn't.
“Roman, the way we communicate is super dysfunctional. You’ve made me cry multiple times. Yes, I’m sure I want to leave.”
“Ugh," he groaned. "Okay. Look, as far as I'm concerned, you're king shit of fuck mountain right now."
"Excuse me, what?" you laughed.
"What you say goes. Pick a number, I'll increase your salary. Lay out some ground rules. I'm not the most ethically sound person in the world, but I do know how to compromise when it comes to doing what's best for business. And you're probably the only person who can tolerate me, so."
"Roman, I don't think I can come back from yesterday. That was way, way too much. But it's not just you. Last nigh—"
"I was wrong," he interrupted you. "I usually am. Shocker. But here's the thing: you're kind of like...invaluable, to me?" It came out as more of a reluctant question than a statement. His voice was shaky and small as he continued on. "You've, um...helped me a lot. In more ways than one. And I don't want you quitting and just going to work for Kendall again, because I don't really trust him."
"Roman, I can assure you that is not something you will ever have to worry about. Last nigh—"
"Just don't go, please."
You would've been more annoyed with him constantly interrupting you if his voice didn't sound so pitiful, if he didn't look so pitiful. You were caught off guard by the groveling. Not necessarily put off by it, but certainly surprised. This was possibly the most vulnerable you had ever seen him. And the whole breakfast thing; since when did Roman go out of his way to do something deliberately nice for you? It was very obviously to serve his own purposes. He didn't want you to quit, but it didn't seem to come from a bad place.
You had observed him for a second too long, it seemed. He cleared his throat and quickly regained his composure. Just like his kindness, Roman's willingness to be vulnerable also had a very short shelf life.
"If you expect another apology, you can fuck off. And I know you do expect one. But don't actually fuck off, you know what I mean? Out of everybody here, I want you to fuck off the least."
"Wow," you said flatly. "That's amazing."
"I know. I can't believe it, either."
☽
kendall 👀👀
@pearlstiare // @ay0nha // @theladyalicnt // @littleladdty @spacebaby1
743 notes
·
View notes
Text
Bounded by shadow and blood (2)
azriel x magic!fem!reader
You set your bags down on the palace steps. It’s weird. Something is definitely wrong. Its not like you were expecting a warm greeting home but you were expecting a little something.
The towns people were normal. They all greeted you like everything was fine, and that’s probably because everything for them is fine. Projected security and all.
You handed out the treats to the children and talked with some of them. Specially your favorite of them all, Semaj. He had missed you while you were gone, and you had missed him all the same.
“Hello?” You call out.
If everything were normal, a palace person would have greeted you already. Someone might have actually greeted you in town before you made it up the steps.
You push open the door and find it to be empty inside. Empty and quiet. Which is unusual for a place that holds at least fifty people inside at all times.
You grab your bags and head inside.
First you go to your room to drop off your bags. It’s quiet the whole way there too. Two long hallways then a right turn later. You haven’t seen or heard anyone.
When you drop your bags off you leave you room immediately. Closing the door behind you, you wander the halls. Checking in each room and finding no one. It was almost as if no one had ever lived here.
There is one room that should be busy. You make quick work to get from the east to the west side of the palace.
The council room.
When you reach the double doors you halt. That bad feeling you had intensifies. You pull on both doorknobs with both of your hands and yank the doors open.
At the sound screech you don’t flinch. But at the table filled with council members you do. They all look at you, bewildered, shocked, confused.
“Nice of you to show your face.” Cyril says.
Cyril is the oldest member on the council. He practically raised you and your brother. You parents were too busy ruling over the people to actually raise their children.
Cyril was the man who should have ruled. Your father’s oldest friend with a penchant for people and solutions. He never had kids of his own, always claimed that you and your brother were enough to last a lifetime.
You smile at him, “You’ve grown older since I last been home.”
“Watch your mouth, I have embarrassing stories of you.” He answers.
“While it’s good to see you two catch up, we have urgent matters to discuss.” Another council member says.
Cyril pushes out an empty chair. For you, you think. You close the doors behind you and walk over to it. You take a seat and set your hands on the table like you were trained.
“Welcome back to Sangri, princess.” Another member greets you.
You smile, “it’s good to be back, but I’m only visitng.”
“I fear that the days of you coming and going will soon be over princess.” Cyril says.
You look at him, confused. “What do you mean? Where’s my brother?”
“We don’t know. We haven’t seen him since he left on a expedition a month ago.”
“A month?!” You shout.
You try to compose yourself. A whole month has gone without anyone seeing your brother and you’re only hearing about it now? You can understand that he was on an expedition but you should have been told of it beforehand. Now he’s gone and—
“Princess, we fear the worst.” Cyril speaks.
The worst that could happen to your brother would be death. But even that would be hard to do because he’s not built for it. You’re not fae, you’re blood benders. It would require a lot of knowledge and power to kill a blood bender. If even a drop of blood remains in their body, they can be resurrected.
“Have you searched for him? Have you sent out an inquiry to his last location?” You ask.
“All have been done, no word.” A council member says from your right.
You sigh, “okay so then what does this mean? Do we disintegrate the monarchy? Is there a cousin or a spawn I don’t know about?”
“No, princess. There’s no one else.” Cyril says.
“But you.” Another voice adds.
You look around the room in shock. No. You weren’t made for this. You were specifically not made for this role. All your life you’ve ran from it. You let your brother have it because he’s oldest and he knows best. He doesn’t mind the boring and stiff lifestyle.
“I’m not going to take the throne.” You speak plainly.
“Not right now. Within the charter the council has three months to rule on it’s own before appointing a successor.” Cyril explains.
You begin to shake your head, “Cyril, I am not taking the throne ever.”
“You must.” A voice says.
“No, you haven’t proven my brother dead. And if I were to take the throne and he were still alive we’d all be in breach of the charter.” You argue.
They had thought that you didn’t read the charter. You hated it, absolutely loathed it. But Cyril always made sure you knew exactly what your role could be.
“We think within that time we will have evidence that your brother is dead.” Another voice says.
“Well I don’t. And I’ll go and find him myself if it means I don’t take the throne.” You respond.
“You are free to do so, princess. But you must return if we find something or the three months have passed.”
You get out of your chair, the wood screeching against the marble floor. You don’t say a word to anyone as you walk out of the room.
You should have never returned home.
-
Nesta isn’t interested in the conversation happening around her. Not for nothing, she wanted to be. She just couldn’t get you out of her mind. No she didn’t know you, but she felt like something about you was off when you first met.
She couldn’t see your ears.
“There aren’t any humans in Prythian, right?” She asks out loud.
The conversation being had stops. All eyes on the table are on her. It’s not like she isn’t used to it.
“Of course not, you know that.” Mor answers.
“She’s talking about the women we saw at dawn.” Cassian explains.
“I just don’t get it. She didn’t smell like fae either.” Nesta goes on.
“Maybe she’s Illyrian.” Feyre tries.
“No, I know what they smell like. We all do.” Nesta counters.
“Why does it matter to you so much girl?” Amren asks.
Nesta looks at her. She’s right, it shouldn’t matter to her. There are more important things to care about right now. Like the battles that lies ahead, an unknown enemy. She just can’t shake the feeling that this woman is a part of it somehow.
“It doesn’t.” Nesta lies.
Amren hums her response and goes back to drinking her wine. Everyone at the table starts dispersing and talking amongst themselves again. Nesta doesn’t, she can’t.
She leaves the dinner table a few moments after that, no one stops her. When she leaves the room she runs into Azriel, on his way in from a mission no doubt. She passes by him and thinks to self that maybe she could ask for his help.
She turns around before she can think against it.
“Azriel?”
He turns around without a word. He looks tired, and if Nesta weren’t so suspicious and inquisitive she would let it go. But she isn’t, she can’t.
“There’s some information I’m looking for…”
#acotar x reader#acotar imagine#acotar fic#azriel imagine#Azriel x reader#Azriel fanfic#azriel acotar#blood and shadow
137 notes
·
View notes
Text
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ [END].
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ Juyeon x M!reader.
Author's Note: uuuh I don't think I'm okaaaaaaaay, I don't think I'm okay. I honestly didn't know whether to upload it, I feel like it's garbage.
Previously: You're tired of being his last option (being hidden) and you decide to end "things" with him, maybe he'll fix it, maybe he won't.
Genre: Discussions, Against, Fluff (kinda), Drama.
Wrng: internalized homophobia.
"I should have dressed as a clown to make a fool of myself in a better way." You thought.
It was around noon and you had been waiting for more than three hours for what is supposedly your boyfriend. You both had agreed that today you would see each other after a very hard week, exams and projects were driving you crazy. There is nothing better than a whole day resting with the person you love the most so far. At least, that's what you thought when you first arrived at the coffee shop. Where is he? It was your only question for a while now. He didn't even answer your calls. That would have been the last straw, the whole jug. It wasn't the first time he had put you through something like this, but after many conversations, he promised that he would change and you really tried to believe him.
You wanted to continue waiting for him, you wanted to continue hoping for the idea that he would arrive, but the time was approaching for you to be in your first class of the day and since you were also part of the committee, you decided to pay for your coffee and leave without further ado. You felt so embarrassed after paying the girl, you spent more than two hours boasting to her that this would be 'the day' and that after a long time, she would finally meet the boy you've been talking so much about for more than 4 months now, unfortunately things didn't happen—again.
"M/N!" You heard from afar that distinctive loud voice that could only tell you who it was, you were so angry that you decided to speed up your pace to avoid talking to him, however your ways of escaping would have been worthless after feeling his fingers gently sink into your shoulder. When you turned around you began to listen to his great sermon of reasons why he took 'longer than he thought', but as always, everything he said ended with 'sorry, bro' and its characteristic way of messing up your hair.
Ouch, to a certain point you understood that he was afraid to say that he is gay, I mean, he told you before they started dating and you were fine with that, I say you were because you always saw him surrounded by several of his 'girl-friends' and even you saw him hugged by the neck with one in particular. Does he have to do all that just out of fear? I think he also forgot that you also had feelings, maybe he forgot that you were dating and that constantly made you overthink. The only thing you wanted was to be able to hold his hand without him constantly looking around.
ㅡSomething happens?ㅡThe brunette exclaimed after seeing you all the way with your head down and muttering a couple of things that didn't make much sense.
"I was just thinking about the exams. . . and us." You didn't want to get into your feelings any further. It wasn't even the place, and surprisingly, not the person you would want to talk to about this. On the other hand, you only heard a heavy sigh and saw out of the corner of your eye how he only nodded sadly.
"Did I do something wrong? Tell me what I did wrong now, and I'll fix it" You felt a big hole in your chest, you wanted to scream at him right then and there about everything that should change so that you could stop feeling like a shitty boyfriend and he could lose that fear of being left alone just because he had someone of the same sex as his partner, but you only deigned to stare at him and caress his cheek.
In the entire class you couldn't concentrate better because of the laughing session that Juyeon was having with one of his friends at the back of the room, you had finally decided that the best option—for you—would be to end what was still going on between the two of you. You didn't hesitate to send him a random message but you didn't get a response from the boy, you had no choice but to wait until class could finish and talk to him before he went to play basketball.
"Juyeon, I have to tell you something, and I think it will be quick." You told him when he was going down a couple of steps after the teacher was ready to put his things away and leave, when the individual left and there was no one else in the room—so you two started talking about how you felt being there, after several months together; what liked to do most, what didn't, etc. Everything was going so well until some basketball teammates rushed to the classroom door and asked for the tallest one.
Your heart stopped after hearing him say, "Just give me a minute, I'm talking to a friend." Is that what you were to him? It seems that yes, Eric was right. You should not continue being in a place where you were only the couple when he got the chip on. You didn't know that "friends" always spent their time kissing or watching a series while doing nothing but caressing each other or even ending up naked on a bed with only a sheet covering both bodies. It didn't take long for your eyes to be glassy with the amount of tears you didn't want to shed, at least not in front of him, in front of the same boy who broke your heart in the worst way you've ever experienced so far.
You tried to raise your gaze so you could see his eyes and give him a weak smile, you did nothing more than leave a couple of pats on his shoulder before leaving the room. You knew that things didn't go any further after he denied you, who knows how many times he must have done the same thing, that was the real reason why you no longer fought or thought with hate.
"W-wait, what does this mean?" The raven man asked after rushing out of the same place and thus taking you by the forearm.
ㅡWe're done, I don't like going out with friends.ㅡ You said as you let go of his grip and continued walking to the cafeteria, where your best friend was.
The boy, for his part, just stood there stunned in that cold hallway where you left him without even turning to look at him, he was stunned, he couldn't process anything that just happened, he knew he screwed up.
Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic.
#kpop x male reader#kpop imagines#kpop x reader#eric x reader#tbz eric#kpop scenarios#kpop smut#male reader#kpop fanfic#kpop boys#juyeon#lee juyeon#tbz x reader#tbz juyeon#tbz#kpop#this is so gay#and heartbreaking#eric tbz
96 notes
·
View notes
Text
in the past week or so ive seen a lot of people posting about how there's this oversexualization of trans girls on the site, and I gotta agree, there are way too many people (including other trans women!) who act like we're all dtf 24/7 or always super kinky and horny. I've been tired of that stereotype for ages and i am saying this as a rather sexual trans girl myself...
...but I think people are overcorrecting a bit now, and are starting to veer into "trans women shouldnt be talked about sexually / need to be shielded from it" territory. and, to me, that's really dangerous, because outside of some queer spaces - and even within them- the sexuality of trans girls is heavily scrutinized, as is attraction to us. as much as I dislike certain aspects of the memes and jokes that kickstarted the stereotypes, I'm kinda grateful for them as well. girldick jokes helped with my bottom dysphoria, voice kink shit helped me like my voice, and the whole "tgirl tummy tuesday" thing gave me a lot of confidence in my body where I hated it before. I think this open appreciation of trans sexiness has done a lot for both me and others on tumblr.
again, obviously its got its problems - people end up assuming every trans girl is horny, or only spread positivity if its related to sex with us, and of course the people who do have dysphoria from the things that are being sexualized are left out (like those the "girls without dicks are like angels without wings" memes, ugh, feels icky every time). and on the note of comparing tgirls to angels, we also started getting treated like we're ethereal fertility goddesses and that t4t sex was some inherently sacred ritual. spoiler alert, trans girls are normal-ass people and t4t sex can be holy for the participants but its generally a pretty normal thing to do as well
coming back to the "don't sexualize trans girls" posts now, I think they were initially going in the right direction, but at this point I'm starting to raise an eyebrow at more than a few of them. I'm not gonna whip out the "youre a sex hating puritan if you post about it" accusation because that is obviously wrong but again, I think people are definitely overcorrecting and starting to turn this into a (false) dichotomy when it's not. its a complex topic and each individual trans woman will feel differently about it.
(I feel like the internet just erases any nuance in favor of a two-sided, highly polarized flamewar with unrealistic views on both sides. actually i wouldn't even say this is a super-nuanced discussion because its really not that hard to say "fetishization is bad, but so is suppression of sexuality". will this post just end up being a void scream and people will continue drawing lines between one side and the other? probably. but I am a stubborn bitch and I have hope that we can be reasonable.)
anyways I'll close this off by saying that I wrote this between around 1:30 and 2 AM on terrible sleep the night before, that I hope what I said is coherent enough, and that I will keep being a trans girl who is openly sexual, gets horny over other trans women, and is proud to be transsexy as fuck. I will keep being critical of jokes and trends and memes that stereotype us, even from our own community. I will keep being angry at how poorly us trans folks are treated with regards to our sex lives, bodies, and relationships between the two. I will keep loving and lusting over trans women without fetishizing them. And I will keep doing all of these til the day I die.
#taking a break from the late night funnies to get serious for a change#this is... sorta a vent post? idk.#please dont tag this with 'transmisogyny' i do not like that term#feel free to reblog though. if enough people are shitheads ill turn reblogs off but again i have hope we can be nice.#transmasculine folks please feel free to add anything else you feel is relevant! im writing from the perspective of a transfemme#who mostly spends time in transfem spaces and i obviously dont have the experiences of a transmasc so. yknow. add on if you have something#alright thats all for now back to your regularly scheduled sleepy/funny posting
127 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lena was in the dark in more ways than one.
The lights in her penthouse were all dark save one, a night light in her en suite to ensure that she didn’t take a fall if she got up. Swirling the edge of a migraine, she’s grown tired of an again-delayed product launch and the hoary halls of power and their patriarchs. Few things frustrated her more than the spiteful condescension of old men clinging to a world with all the success of a man trying to gather all the sand in a desert through chapped fingers.
Few things annoyed her more.
One of those things, she could give no name. Since Lena had realized Kara’s identity, things had been tense between them. Mostly in a pleasant way; they had been feeling out this new normal, Kara tentatively broaching this or that topic to add to brunch chats and lunchtime gossip.
“Oh,” she’d say, “that last alien hit pretty hard,” as if being knocked clean through a fertilizer plant by a blow to the head were part of her commute.
To Lena it was all new, but there was something else with it. Something neither of them dared to name, some friable, delicate new shape that they could only feel by its edges. It began with Kara bombarding Lena with friendship. Fresh breakfasts hand-delivered at hypersonic speeds. Daily lunches. For the last month, Kara had spent every weekend at Lena’s, or vice versa.
Lena’s penthouse had a guest bedroom. Kara’s place had a bed and a sofa. Comfy, but it was no bed. That was how the dance began. The first steps were hesitant, the dancers circling each other without breaking the barrier. A token argument about who gets the bed, only for them both to share it. And once they’d shared it at Kara’s place, it made no sense for Lena to confine a living space heater to the guest room.
They didn’t discuss, or analyze, or talk it out. No boundaries were ever set, and so the dance continued. What started as two people curled up in a big king bed on opposite sides became the pair of them entangling during the night, then skipping the pretext and curling up with each other before the lights went out.
It was driving Lena insane. Kara never pushed, not really, and yet it just seemed to happen. It was as if her best friend was daring her to take the initiative. The morning when Lena awoke to find Kara’s arm protectively curled about her waist, her thumb hooked on the waistband of Lena’s lounge pants, she’d almost turned over and said something.
The excuse she made was that Kara needed her sleep after the pummeling she’d taken that afternoon. That Lena enjoyed how Kara grazed the pad of her thumb over Lena’s hip bone was incidental.
Lying in the dark, Lena knew that Kara had arrived by the sound of the balcony door opening and didn’t bother to call out to her. Still dressed in her suit, Kara peeked into the bedroom, her movements tentative, somehow almost birdlike.
She came back a moment later with a cool, damp cloth for Lena’s forehead and a few murmured questions, before excusing herself.
“Darling, you can stay,” Lena sighed. “I want you to.”
“Okay,” Kara whispered back, lightly seeping stray curls from Lena’s eyes. “I need to change. No peeking.”
And why would you be worried I’ll peek? Lena thought. A platonic Best Friend isn’t going to peek. Best friends don’t do that, just like they don’t nuzzle into each other on the couch. If Lena were Kara’s best friend, then Lena wouldn’t be looking so much, so openly. Admiring Kara’s smile and her biceps and the way her abdominal muscles strained those button-downs.
She wouldn’t be thinking so much about the touches, the way she’d sat in Kara’s lap for hours at a time or how Kara had carried her to bed or how Supergirl had lingered to cradle her post-rescue, well past the point of safety.
Lena wasn’t aware she was peeking until she’s already started. Kara’s suit had taken care of itself; it was her work clothes she needed to discard. When Lena turned over, there was the broad expanse of Kara’s beautifully muscled back, flexing deliciously as she pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms.
Because Kara kept multiple sets of PJs at Lena’s place.
In Lena’s bedroom.
Because this wasn’t the first time this had happened.
Lena turned back, knowing with certainty that Kara knew. She must have heard the creaking of the mattress and the soft whisper of skin on silk sheets and the rapidity if Lena’s traitorous heart.
When Kara climbed in with Lena, the world shrank around the pair of them. Kara swept immediately to the boundary tonight, gathering Lena in her arms, hands finding spots just on this side of chaste, and their bodies molded together.
Lena was finally able to get some sleep.
When she awoke, later, Kara stirred with her.
“Zhao,” Kara muttered.
Lena froze, blinking in the dark. That wasn’t a nonsense word; it was Kryptonian.
“Come back. Zhao,” Kara muttered, as Lena stirred. She didn’t seem to be properly waking.
A nickname?
Lena couldn’t remember when she’d started calling Kara Darling, though she increasingly wished she had.
Dear diary, it was on this day at this date that I admitted my feelings to myself before wrapping them in cardboard and then in concrete and then in steel before shoving them somewhere deep down.
Kara, for her part, had tried a few pet names but most were one offs, never quite fitting. She’d even called Lena “buddy” once before Lena had cut that shit off with an arched brow.
Lena stilled. She could deny Kara nothing, and so drifted off to sleep.
By some quirk of fate, they woke almost at the same time. Lena was still groggy and bleary-eyed when Kara’s sky-blues flitted open, bringing more light than the sun itself. She shifted in the bed without letting Lena go and began to murmur something in Kryptonian, cutting herself off as that last sharp, buzzing word tumbled from her lips.
The only world froze. Kara stared at Lena with wide eyes, and the sudden tension between them made both women go rigid, neither willing to move, to break it.
“You called me that in your sleep,” Lena finally whispered. “Zhao. What does it mean?”
Kara was unusually pale.
“Oh, it’s sort of a term of endearment in Kryptonian. It means, um, ah…”
Lena sighed, cracking a soft smile. “Kara, I’m not fluent by any measure, but I know enough Kryptonian to know what Zhao means.”
“Oh,” Kara whispered, barely more than a short and sharp exhale.
“Even if I didn’t,” Lena whispered, locking eyes with her. “Your hand is literally on my ass right now.”
“Oh. Um. Golly. I’m sorry, I…”
Kara started to pull back. Lena gently took hold of Kara’s wrist and held her hand there. Her heart fluttered not only at the strength in Kara’s forearm but how those steel cable muscles went slack beneath her touch.
Lena swiveled her hips.
“I don’t know how to do this,” Kara whispered.
“Oh, trust me, I’ve got that covered,” said Lena.
Kara shivered. “No, I mean… I don’t know what to…” She swallowed hard, her throat bobbing.
Lena pressed in closer, until the space between them was more a theoretical concept than an actuality.
“Just say what you want to say.”
“Will you be my girlfriend?”
Lena snorted a laugh, briefly ashamed at her inner dork, and afraid that Kara would take offense.
“Kara, you’ve been sleeping over every weekend with your hand in my pants for months. Yes, I will be your girlfriend.”
Kara grinned, starting to sit up.
“Come on, zhao,” said Kara.
Giving their partner a nickname/having their partner give them a nickname.
#prompt#supergirl fanfiction#supercorp#supercorp fanfic#supergirl#lena luthor#kara danvers#kara x lena#karlena#ficlet#these are turning into random vignettes from their life together#waff#pointless waff#fluff#fluff with just the tiniest taste of angst#a little angst in the fluff is like salt in the pasta water#a little angst… as a treat
487 notes
·
View notes
Text
My Mother's Unbiased Byler + Milkvan Opinions - Viewing ST for the 1st Time!
(UPDATE)
My Mama has now witnessed Stranger Things in its entirety. Her favourite season was the third, her favourite characters Hopper and Joyce, her favourite pairing would be those guys too, and her most disliked pairing? Can only assume.
I wanted to write out her thoughts on the second to last episode previously, as she'd held many, but before I knew it we'd finished the whole show and I was forced to an income of NEW opinions which ruled out my memory of any old ones. Shucks. But boy did this lady have much to say. The only way I can break it down is by providing a sample of quotes she'd delivered, in order, a day after having finished the series.
All are just things she said about milkvan and byler, as they're this post's main focus. There's simply much to say about these relationships too, being so up in the air over where they ought be expected to turn out. These are all direct quotes too (as I typed as she talked, unkown to her) so you'll have to excuse the natural way in which some lines come off as unfocused, being written after real time conversations. Let's get into it:
Ok I really don't know whether she likes Mike very much. She actively disliked the guy earlier on, and now her feelings appear to be more mixed. A lot of her discussion was solely around this guy's actions.
"It's almost like he's [Mike] forcing himself like- ok Hopper he was kind of very passionate and kissing, you know he sort of instantly- with Mike, from being obsessed and spending so much time with her [El], suddenly he starts cooling off more and more and suddenly- they even separated right? I mean yeah that was out of his control but he, but he didn't really seem like he missed her you know it's like he just got on with it."
This point caught me off guard. I don't know how much I agree with my mother on this. It made me realize that during Mike and El's separation, there weren't many quiet Mike moments in which he expressed worry for her, beyond a couple that blend into him simply having breakup concerns. Any time Mike mentions distress for her whilst she's away, his talk evolves into him simply anxious over the state of their relationship. As a group, everyone in our Cali gang clearly wanted to save Eleven, but Mike really should have gotten more heartfelt moments in solitude (that means without Will you suffer bros) in which it is demonstrated to the audience that he really does miss her, as someone who is in love. Her being away shouldn't simply come off as a writing excuse for him to vent to Will. There wasn't enough of that tenderness milkvan desperately needs, and if anything I watched was an attempt then it really wasn't translated well - never trumping everyone else's familial or close frienship-like fret for El, never showcasing his concern to come from a more personal place. I mean how hard is it to have him in her room, staring longingly at a photo of hers, with a background composed of soft music. Then literally leaving it at that. I mean that is it. No Will rushing in there to insist,
"you can tell her that thing when you see her k? It'll all work out trust me ight, you're the heart you're the HEART!" que affectionate gazes, constructs a byler scene for no reason I guess .
"I mean how do we know that he missed Will? He articulated it. Why didn't he articulate this the same way to El?"
True. I mean the fact that I can't remember a moment after they find El in which milkvan ask oneanother how they are, and communicate how much they missed eachother, does indeed say something. They shared a hug and touch when they first reunited, which was gladly interrupted by Will. That pineapple + pizza thing was not long enough, or sensitive enough, to be their moment. There was clear bonding, but it didn't breach a level of romance and chemistry nearly decently. It's good that they got at least that, I mean we need to know that these guys are at LEAST really close friends. And then the camera just felt like panning over to Will about to burst into tears in a corner. Like huh? Bruv you've now made it so that milkvan's pizza bit leaves a bad taste in our mouths. If I were a milkvan I'd be furious.
"You know what, I think it's done purposefully to create that sort of cold, distant, confused, you know they wanted to make people say he's [Mike] bisexual. For people to question. They want to get people to think that."
My Mama believes writers intentionally soured milkvan for viewers to "confuse" audiences, build up anticipation, make them question milkvan's relationship and wonder if our main man will spin to Will. I agree. They want that good ol' triangle comeuppance.
"They really are trying to bring that across- so that people start thinking Mike, you know he doesn't love El, he loves Will. They're really trying to, make people think that. Giving them [milkvan] a really nitty gritty relationship."
Yup.
"When you're gay. Coming out like that it's- it's terrifying. You have to be very careful. And Will could, he could tell. You know when someone is attracted to you. I think, things became sort of- sort of complicated. And Will sensed, he could feel that Mike is attracted to him. And that's why he could open up like that. Because you can always tell. You know, you just know, so that's why Will was able to confess these things to him [she sees painting scene as a confession, whether Mike realized it or not, and so do I]."
Well damn Mama. And there you have it folks. My.. I'm not gonna call her the h word but.. my- notabigfanofgaythingsandwouldbehappytopretendtheydon'texist mother, perceives Mike as a homosexual kid, and just that. Well bloomin heck that's all the confirmation I need.
I didn't expect this as a turnout, I mean so particularly. My Mama actually didn't like byler - I think. Well. Bloomin heck. She actually enjoyed Vickie x Robin, and this shocked me to my core. I don't know whether this is simply due to her being a fan of Vickie's actress (recognizing her from Anne With an 'E'), but I do know that my mother has a bias in gay relationships and sees ones involving females as more "pure" than that of two males. So her language when describing Will has changed since her realization that he loves Mike for sure (which became undeniable in the van scene). She describes him as being 'obsessed' with Mike, and says writers really wanted to get that obsession across. I agree with Will having been one note during season 4, him hopefully having more time to shine in the approaching season, but I thoroughly disagree with him coming off as obsessive. I suppose our camera man displayed the guy's little glances at Mike so often that my Mama felt it was overdone, and unable to be ignored. I also think she's just avoiding use of the word 'love' when describing anything homosexual.
She still doesn't think Mike demonstrates how much he loves El enough to leave no room for debate. According to her, his moments with her seem surface level. Just as a reminder she does not know my thoughts. She watched that entire 'I love you' thing and still isn't secure in any genuineness of the guy. I believe she supposes that we're intended to acknowledge milkvan's romance, but also probe it.
I now wonder whether my Mama was good enough representation for the average audience, because she actually does own a bias - this being that she usually actively dislikes gay things. So I puzzle over whether her brain overanalyzed any of the boys' highlights, wanting to "expose" their homo intentions. At first things were up in the air, but it became clear that Mike did not pass her gaydar, he was simply too intimate with Will to make that pass. And this wasn't the case in other seasons, she never questioned their friendship til now. She also hasn't acknowledged any supposedly queer relationships besides rickie (vobin?) and byler, meaning that other fan favourites such as elmax, steddie, ronance and such else didn't stand out as gay to her. This doesn't signify those other relationships to not have a chance, I'm elmax's personal cheersquad, it's plainly clear that my mother didn't have a tendency to point at every same sex relationship and yell suspicious. Byler was purely undeniable. You can thank Will's love being canoned for this, otherwise noone would have a need to read into Mike.
I don't know whether she supposes byler to have a chance moreso than the milk in the van, even with Mike's ambiguity. It would seem that as of right now her guess is that watchers are intended to second guess both relationships in order to build up interest. However, she doesn't know how unlikely Will's love life is to turn out negatively seeing as those damn writers manipulated crowds into consistently sympathizing for him. Dunno about the rest of you but that sounds like good news to me.
I have no idea how to close this analysis. Is it an analysis? There's much more I want to say, much more she said, but I fear this to be too jam-packed and aimless as is. I'm writing a third part to my most recent milkthevan failing relationship deep dive, and that'll possibly consist of thoughts I wish to input after gathering so much data from my mother.
#stranger things#stranger things 4#byler#anti milkvan#anti mileven#mike and will#mike x will#gay mike wheeler#mike wheeler#will byers#byler is endgame#byler is real#byler is canon#stranger things byler#byler thoughts#byler proof#byler rights#byler endgame#stranger things 4 byler#byler analysis#byler tumblr#byler nation#byeler
81 notes
·
View notes
Note
heyy!! so I was wondering if you could do a like a oneshot of being enemies with jace and him teasing you about liking him and then it ending with him eating the reader out?? IM SO SORRY ITS VERY SPECIFIC LMFOOAOAOAOOA 💀💀
hi love!! ahh i had so much fun writing this!! i was tired when i wrote this so i got a bit carried away at the end and kinda turned this into an enemies to lovers... but i hope you like it!!
Heavenly Fire- Jace x Fem!Reader (he has too many last names.)
summary: in the request!
warnings: NSFW!! smut! porn with minimal plot... oral (f recieving)(jace is the king of giving head), fingering, first time(?), but no actual sex </3
notes: i couldn't think of a title for this :( fun fact: my shower isn't working right now that is what inspired me to write this! also i feel like i nailed jace's personality in this one, i always find it hard when i'm writing for jace because of his personality but this one...
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
“God! Do you ever shut up?!” You turned around to Jace, who was following you towards the kitchen as Isabelle had just made lunch.
“Now, I know I’ve been called heavenly, but a God? I’ve not heard that before.” He teased, earning an evil stare from you.
“What are you talking about?” Isabelle asked, placing some bowls on the table of what appeared to be soup?
“Jace is being a-“
“Y/n confessed her everlasting love to me, we’re getting married next week, I better go and inform Alec and Magnus-“
“Oh shut up, Jace! You know I don’t like you!” You gave Jace a shove before you sat down at the table. He snickered as he sat down opposite you, clearly happy with your reaction.
“Keep telling yourself that, love.” He said under his breath before Isabelle joined the two of you at the table.
There was no denying Jace was attractive, it was almost annoying how he always looked perfect. His perfect blonde hair and his perfect eyes and his perfect smirk and his perfect body- But that wasn’t why you hated him. You hated him because he was such an asshole all the time. He knew he was good looking, and he was overly confident- or so it seemed to you. He never had an issue when it came to one night stands, but you noticed he could never hold down a relationship. You would never see him with the same girl more than once, sometimes twice on the odd occasion. Even you had longer relationships than that (although Isabelle would say being together for 5 days didn’t count as a relationship.)
After finishing the soup Izzy had made, you gave Jace one last glance before standing up and placing your bowl by the sink.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
After a long day of training, it was no surprise that you were sweaty and needed a shower. So, naturally, you headed to your bathroom, locked the door and began to undress. But there was a problem.
Your shower wasn’t working.
You sighed and stepped back out, taking your robe which was hanging up by the door and slipping it on, tying it up, and unlocking the bathroom door again.
You hoped that Isabelle would let you use her bathroom, as the spare bathrooms were tiny and quite frankly disgusting. But as you got closer to her room, you could hear music being played, and as you put your ear to the door you heard not only Isabelle’s voice but also Simon’s. You quickly dismissed this idea.
But that meant you only had one more option. Jace.
Alec was most probably at Magnus’ apartment, so you could use his shower- but you wouldn’t want to do so without asking him first. So you had no other choice.
You felt a strange buzz of anxiety in your belly as you knocked on Jace’s door, all you wanted to do was have a shower, there’s nothing to be anxious about!
As he opened the door, you were met with a shirtless Jace, his hair damp and slightly wavy, his-
“Come to discuss our wedding, love?” He teased you, eyeing you up and down, trying to figure out if you were actually wearing anything beneath your robe. You let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding and shook your head.
“Jace, look, my shower isn’t working and Izzy has Simon over. I didn’t want to have to bother you but-”
“You want to take a shower with me? Without taking me to dinner first? Wow-”
“No, no! I meant, I- You-” You suddenly became quite flustered, unable to think of anything other than the sight of him in the shower, hair dripping, the way the water would fall on his body- Stop! You were sure you were blushing now, and as you looked back up at him, he confirmed it with a devilish smirk.
“What’s got you so pink in the face, sweetheart? I thought you hated me?” He taunted you, and you couldn’t take it any more. The throbbing between your thighs was becoming almost painful as you wrapped your arms around his neck and captured his lips with yours in a needy kiss. You couldn’t help but think about what this would do to his ego. He was going to become unbearable to live with, but in the moment you couldn’t help yourself. He was so fucking hot, you could never truly hate him.
You pushed him backwards a little, so you were both in his room with the door shut. If Isabelle saw the two of you right now, she would never shut up about it, telling you I told you so. You always denied your feelings towards Jace, hiding them with hatred, and he always expressed his feelings through teasing you, causing you to ‘hate’ him even more.
Quickly, you pull away from Jace before he had the chance to rest his hands on your waist.
“Oh, fuck!” You hid your face with your hands, turning away from Jace. You were such an idiot.
“What is it? Did I do something wrong, I-” Jace genuinely seemed confused, and quite panicked by your sudden change in attitude.
“No. Well, actually, yes you have. You’re such an asshole, Jace. But I can’t help every time I see your perfect fucking face, or your… What I’m trying to say is this was a mistake. I-” You were shut up by lips crashing into yours once more, this time more passionate than the last. His hand cupped your face as the other held your waist, leading the two of you closer and closer towards the bed. He must have seen the way your eyes were so lust-blown only a few moments ago, as his hand creeped towards the place where your robe was tied, and within seconds it had fallen to the floor.
You would have felt nervous, even anxious about your body being on display like this, especially in front of Jace as he pulled away from the kiss, but as soon as you saw the way he was looking at you, your worries disappeared. His lips were slightly parted, his eyes half-lidded, his chest rising and falling as his breathing became heavier.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said, his hand gently placed on your shoulder. He slid it down your body, touching you for the first time. He gently caressed your breasts, massaging the soft flesh as small whimpers left your lips and your eyes fell shut. He took a moment to toy with your nipples, and that was when you let out an almost pornographic moan. At that, he dropped to his knees, his hand sliding down your torso until it rested just above your cunt.
He placed kisses along your thighs before looking up at you, as if asking for permission. You eagerly nodded your head, you desperately needed him to touch you.
He moved slightly and took one of your legs, lifting it over his shoulder to put your slick pussy on full display for him. He parted your lips with two fingers, before leaning in and swiping his tongue along your clit. The action was so sudden that your knees buckled beneath you, so he moved once more and pushed you down onto the bed. As your back fell onto the mattress, he pulled you closer to him so your knees were hanging off his bed. Then, he resumed his attack on your clit.
“Oh fuck! Jace!” You groaned, slapping one hand over your mouth and tangling the other in his hair as he ate you out.
He sucked you clit between his lips, earning a string of moans to fall from your lips, and that’s when he decided to trace his finger over your hole, before replacing it with his thumb. He eased the tip of his thumb in before pulling it out again, watching as your hole pulsed, begging for more.
Without any warning, he slipped his middle finger into you and curled it upwards in a ‘come here’ motion as he continued sucking, lipping and nipping at your clit. Your back arched and your legs wrapped around the man between your thighs, pulling him impossibly closer to you.
“Shh, it’s okay, angel. Think you can take another one?” He teased, bringing a second finger to your entrance.
Jace had assumed you were a virgin, and he was right. However, he knew you had touched yourself before. Occasionally, you would think you were home alone and your hand would travel between your thighs, small moans and whimpers would fall from your lips as Jace passed by your room. It took all his strength to simply walk past, especially when you would moan his name.
He slipped the second finger in, and you felt that familiar feeling in your belly. However, this time it felt ten times stronger. You were worried that you would actually explode when you reached your high.
“I know you’ve been wanting this, angel. Coming undone on my fingers, my tongue. Pretending you hate me, but I could see straight through you. I knew all along you were just a little slut, isn’t that right? I knew just how jealous you would get whenever a girl would come home with me, just how angry it would make you. But it’s okay, they never meant anything,” his thumb replaced his mouth on your clit as he spoke, and his words went straight to your core, “I knew all along you wanted to be my girl. Cum for me and I’ll make your wish come true, cum on my fingers, darling, I know you’re close.
Just as your orgasm washed over you and your thighs began to tremble, Jace leaned down and captured your lips with his. You couldn’t help but moan against his lips, followed by strings of profanities as his fingers continued to pump inside you, working through your high. You had never felt so… wonderful. You were gasping for air but Jace’s lips were still on yours, you could even taste yourself on his tongue.
You wrapped both of your arms around him and held him close, hoping he would lie by your side when you finally came back to reality. However, he escaped from your arms and went into the bathroom to retrieve a soft, damp cloth to clean you up with.
“Stay still for me, darling.” He chuckled as he spread your legs to clean up your messy cunt, but your thighs kept pressing together. However, he managed to clean you up and threw the cloth to the corner of the room, to a pile of clothes that needed washing.
He helped you up the bed, so your head was against the pillows, and lied beside you, pulling you close to him in a warm embrace as your head rested on his chest.
He stroked your bare back, causing you to shiver slightly as it tickled, which seemed to amuse Jace.
“So what does this mean?” You asked, moving your head to look up at Jace who was sitting against the headboard, one arm behind his head.
“What does what mean?”
“Everything you said, about being yours?”
Jace took a moment to think, and you were filled with a sudden panic that he didn’t mean what he said, that it just felt right in the moment.
“You can use my shower, sweetheart. When you’re finished, get changed into something nice, or not- but I don’t think you’d want to wear leggings and a hoodie on your first date.” He said, a smirk creeping up on his lips.
“Are you, the Jace Herondale- who never dates- asking me out on a date?”
“No, I’m not asking you,” he chuckled, playing with your hair, “darling, I’m telling you.”
#jace wayland smut#jace wayland#jace herondale smut#jace lightwood#jamie campbell bower#jamie campbell bower x reader#jamie bower#jace wayland x reader#jace herondale x reader#jace morgenstern#city of bones#shadowhunters
838 notes
·
View notes
Text
Energy of the Fourth House
When discussing the placements within this post, I’ll be talking about the energy within the home and not what your childhood was like. The dominant personalities that your parents might have had and the morals that they wanted to teach you. The lessons that have lived subtly within you as you grew up, ones that you might fall back on without realizing when the world gets to be too much. The fourth house speaks more to how your home felt, the energy it gave off, and how your parents presented itself. Your IC will be more reflective of what you experienced or how you were as a kid.
Aries: Active and Independent household (surprise surprise). Those growing up with these elements are usually surrounded by those who want to integrate some sort of outdoor activity in their family time or were encouraged to try out for an extracurricular activity at some point in their adolescence. Things weren’t usually slow in the house and people were usually coming and going; whether that’s just movement within the home or people literally headed in and out to run errands or have fun. The other aspect of this sign is a tendency to flex a ‘selfish’ mindset. The guardians tend to disregard or not immediately listen to what others in the household crave or need for themselves. It’s not always on purpose or it’s from a wounded childhood themselves, but there is a quality of guardians prioritizing activities or things they prefer and assuming others want it as well without realizing. It can play out as them encouraging their child to try out for activities because they believe it’s best, passing judgment on social groups, choosing room styles, etc. Aries energy can be excitable and an initiator, so it tends to be very blunt and doesn’t overthink too much. It expects the other party to speak up, so when it doesn’t it assumes everything is okay. This is where it leads to the opposing Libra energy later on. It also, indirectly, can sometimes help the child stand up for themselves or get them to eventually speak up or become more vocal about things that they want for themselves. It leads to the balancing act within Libra as the overwhelming energy might lead one to be too explosive after suppressing for so long, but that’s another long conversation. With time, if the native can look back and learn to balance their experiences, they will become someone who knows when to listen to others but also speak up when feeling overlooked.
Taurus: When you have Taurus coloring your fourth house, it will absolutely lead to security. However, it will be more of a physical feeling of security and sometimes it won’t necessarily go beyond that. As a family unit, the goal will always be to make sure that everyone is cared for and has a roof over their head. There’s food on the table, clothes on their back, that they’re provided for no matter what. Even when things get difficult, the providers will ensure that those who need to be taken care of get their needs met first. This also tends to make the home and the family look put together during big events or get-togethers. Big ‘get dressed we’re having people over’ syndrome here. On its ‘days off’, there is a relaxed energy surrounding the family and home; it can seem somewhat messy at times or not care as much if the children make a mess playing games. they are either turned on to seem very put together or turned off and natural. The issue here is the influence of Venus and Earth. There is a desire to be among those that are ‘of the elite’, but they don’t ‘try too hard’ to have that lifestyle. It can cause some stress within the family as there’s an unmentioned desire to always be presentable during the right time, but if someone screws it up there is some tension for the next day or so since their reputation can get smudged. The emotional care can also be muted. The guardians won’t necessarily shy away from love, but it won’t be that ‘all encompassing’ love that people associate with families. It can range from long talks that don’t necessarily touch on the actual issue or short ones that end with “well I’m here if you need me you know that” due to awkwardness. Regardless, there is a legitimate and loyal love to be found with this sign, it is the sister sign of Scorpio after all.
Gemini: This home will be very active mentally. The parents will either be very knowledgeable of the family tree and it’s heritage, or there won’t be a trace of it. While they won’t be very proactive, they will also encourage and support the native in all their academic endeavors; traditional or not. The home can seem calm or soothing, but something is always happening. They may celebrate holidays as a way to spend time together, or there just may be many antics within the home. There is just a light-hearted energy flowing throughout the house, but not necessarily an emotional one. Everyone is on the go and they interact, but it’s not necessarily deep. Family members may interact with each other on a daily basis, but they may not know each other’s favorite foods or personal fears even after decades. There is also a possibility for there to be age gaps between siblings, which adds onto the somewhat distant relationship within the home and imbalance between how the parents relate to each child. The native with this sign may end up being the youngest, and sees the home as their own playground; usually metaphorically but it may also be literally. They are more prone to having a somewhat disconnected relationship to their family, and there is an emphasis on questioning many things in general growing up (and they may grow frustrated if there is no answer or they can tell they’re being denied). The guardians themselves can come off as being checked out and very lax. They will always be willing to teach their child informal knowledge like secret recipes, life hacks, silly tricks, etc. Due to the native naturally being inquisitive and dabbling in many things, the parents won’t worry too much about their studies but they will be disappointed if they fail or get a severe punishment from the school. At it’s best, this is an informal, hands off household. At it’s worst it can end up being turbulent for the native.
Cancer: The fourth house is able to shine here, which can be good and bad. The native will experience a very loving and nurturing home. The natives will more than likely experience that of a stereotypical home, what writers first think of when they reference the white picket fence and someone who came from a stabilized childhood. The home will be stuffed with mementos or scrapbooks; the parents will have a bad habit of keeping anything that represents a landmark or loving memory for members of the family well beyond their expiration date. They will be sensitive people; often in-tune with their children and more than likely keep up to date with their interests and current events to the best of their abilities. There is a high chance of having family recipes or emphasis on quality times with this sign coloring your fourth house. The issue is that sometimes these actions can become smothering or possibly cross boundaries for the native. Due to the tight-knit bond that is created, the guardians can become hurt or confused if their child does not tell them everything, which is bound to happen at times. They struggle to completely hide their hurt or sentimentality over changes within the home, but they do their best to adjust to small things like their kids no longer participating in family events, hanging out with friends more, rebelling more, etc. The guardians will not notice if they’re ‘embarrassing’ their child, since their main worry is losing connection with their children. Those who are not well adjusted will have a tendency to lean on their children instead of giving them a place to always come back to for shelter. They see their children as their safe haven instead since this wound has not been healed within themselves yet, and as the native tries to fight back or distance themselves, the guardian might see it as them being ungrateful. They need to heal wounds before this house can shine in the way that it should. Parents who are balanced will always be able to provide a safe and warm home for the native to run back to if they need it, but they will not force it upon them.
Leo: This one will be answered differently since it’s not as stereotypical beneath the surface. It’s split between the guardians behaving like children themselves and avoiding responsibility, or they can be involved in creative endeavors themselves, thus introducing and surrounding the native to the creative field at an early age. A smaller branch is that the native will showcase their natural talents from an early age, and will either have those talents encouraged or seen as an annoyance from the parents. One thing for sure, is that no matter what artistic and honest expression will find their way to the native. The world will find a way to make sure the native is able to express their inner child or is able to get their talents out into the world. They will find a way to protect and nurture what is pure within the soul of a Native with Leo covering the Fourth House when it comes to their inner child. Real world examples would be Danny Trejo; having a childhood that most people would write off as someone who is unfortunate and taken by the streets thus it was too late for him, but has the big name that he has now and, fitting the theme, made the series Spy Kids – causing him to be loved by children. On the opposite end we then have Miley Cyrus, which I shouldn’t have to explain but her relatives are nearly all musicians: Billy Ray Cyrus and technically Dolly Parton, and of course her siblings were involved in the Disney scene so they ended up being musicians between that or having a gift for singing themselves. Miley was usually with her father on his tours if I recall, and her mother Tish managed her during her Disney years. So this is one of the ways Leo can play out over your fourth. It is either all encompassing or the guardians will end up being a bit immature; wanting to live their dreams through their children and not stepping up to the plate of parenthood. Even if their home environment is not secure, the natives will always be guided to a community or friends where they can express themselves sincerely, or simply to the right place at the right time. Whether it’s the native’s subconscious innocence or sheer will, it is impossible to fully extinguish the sun, especially when they’re young.
Virgo: The cerebral energy turns a bit more stable and serious with Virgo over the fourth. The home will look polished, but not over the top. They will have the necessities and anything more will be seen as a treat to celebrate big events or achievements. The main energy is that what happens in the home is consistent and reliable. The parents make sure there isn’t much chaos or upheaval within the household so the children aren’t upset or distracted by what goes on. There is dedication to the house and they make sure that either party has their life balanced so it doesn’t disturb everyone else, and any issues are dealt with behind the scenes. Importance is also placed on formal education. There is a high chance that the parents will do their best to get their kid into the best school that they can, or they will be very involved in their academics and extracurriculars. The success rate of this depends on the native; the household may be stable, but the household may end up being very stale or boring in the eyes of the native as a child. There isn’t much external stimulation, so the native may either go through the motions and be a dutiful student, or they may completely ignore their studies to dive fully into a passion that excites them. The parents will not be very vocal with their expectations but the native will catch on quickly what behavior is acceptable and what isn’t. While every placement is capable of creativity, this is a sleeper agent of incredible artistic ability. It is usually covered up by the practical energy the native is first introduced to and it takes some time for them to find it, and usually the native is quite critical of themselves. There’s also a decision on what to focus on and struggle to balance both academics as well as their passion, but with time the native will be able to shine in both areas.
Libra: Reminiscent of a Taurus fourth house, but the focus is shifted elsewhere. It is all about presentation with this house – in more ways than one. The house will more than likely be presentable or everyone knows to pick up behind themselves and to not make large messes. Manners are taught and enforced at an early age, but the guardians will not be overly aggressive. They will usually try to be fair with punishments and encourage communication. This extends to the community around you as well, so the relationship or ‘care’ can feel a bit empty at times since it’s stretched so thin. Emphasis on being connected with those around them and building relationships is very important with this house. As a kid, you probably saw your parents interacting with your neighbors a lot, or possibly engaging with your school activities if they needed help. Generally, the guardians will try to be involved in their kid’s lives as well as the community – sometimes it can become unbalanced, sometimes it’s too much, but it’s out of love). However, they still worry about presentation and how others perceive their family. They might get on their kids about how they dress or their speech, to an annoying degree. Ironically, this isn’t the main source of tension, it’s the slightly detached energy in the home. There is love, support, and fun within the home, but at the same time, deep talks, connection, or bonds don’t have anywhere to really grow. None of this really causes a problem until something needs to be discussed and the person wonders when or if there’s ever a right time for it. Discussions will attempt to go deep, but they will always be open and try to be fair about the topic – attempting to give helpful solutions while being understanding of how the person is feeling. The issue is getting past the first step of pointing out the elephants in the room.
Scorpio: The natives with this fourth house can experience a protective childhood. Not in the stereotypical sense, but the native’s experiences will be controlled in a way. Their guardians will let them have fun, take risks even, but under their control and watchful eye. Think about it as if Saturn is overseeing them. If the guardian doesn’t believe their child will be safe or can handle events at a certain age, then they’ll be denied until the time is right. There will be times that they’ll let their child go out and explore the world in their eyes, but in reality stepping stones and barriers are still in place. AKA, their child can be quickly protected at a moment’s notice either by them or a relative that is within reach, or they’ve already made rough plans for their child’s success. There can also be an air of deep connection or bonding within the family home. They want to know or understand their child and can possibly be hurt if this is interrupted or doesn’t go as planned. They don’t really place emphasis on what the home looks like, but there will probably be family dinners or game nights – something that will give space for conversation or a feeling of safety or openness between family members. There is a chance that if the bond is not as deep as the guardian craves, they can react negatively depending on how mature the person is. Regardless of if it’s out of love, the parent can either become overbearing or slightly distant or cold as a means to cope with what didn’t go ‘according to plan’. However, there is always a sense of connection and relativity. The guardian will always feel the need to be there for their family despite what is presented on the surface.
Sagittarius: Natives with this fourth house will usually hear things like ‘moving around a lot, street or life knowledge over book knowledge’ etcetc, which is true! There’s more to it though. There is a high chance that the guardians will have a career that requires them to be away from home most of the time, or to travel constantly. If not, there is a chance that the family will move around a lot either to follow different career or school opportunities. They do not want to be constrained by the idea of meeting a goal and stopping there, they want to see what life has to offer and aren’t afraid to go after it. On the other hand, some parents aren’t too keen on the constant adjustments, but it’s expected of them. This leads to the family building a strong and close bond with each other, and not worrying too much about external bonds. The desire will be there, but they are used to being on the move and short lived friendships or connections. So relying on the family becomes a theme. This might also lead some natives to yearn for a stable adulthood even if they enjoyed the constant movement as a child. The guardians won’t enforce strict household rules, but they will want their children to uphold strong morals or stick by a certain ethical code. This, along with the slight loose hand of the parents, will lead to the native learning more about the ways of life as opposed to book knowledge. Their upbringing can bring attention to them, positive or negative, but it also means that they interact with a larger walk of life. This quality can give a weird blend of knowing your parent is your guardian while they also feel like a best friend, making lines a bit blurry and having the chance to either feel like there was no structure within the home or you ended up having to parent yourself at times.
Capricorn: Natives with this energy over the fourth usually experience a ‘tense’ household. By that, I mean that all things associated with domesticity are muted or subtle. Guardians will usually focus on raising the native responsibly or instilling strong morals, but can sometimes forget to bring the emotional aspect into the mix. The parents will believe in their children to an extreme degree, which can put stress on the child to feel like even a B can be seen as a failure. The issue is usually that the parents communicate or deal with issues in such a serious manner that, when young, the native cannot differentiate when their parents are truly disappointed in them and when they’re not. Affection will usually be shown by example as opposed to verbally. There can be instances where the Guardian is more focused on work, but it can also play out with them pushing the native to be perfect due to their belief in them. A double-edged sword basically. There will be a lot of rules implemented or the native will usually attend a private, charter, all girls/boys or high profile school. The parents want nothing but the best for their child, but tend to go overboard and end up dropping a lot of pressure and giving their children forms of performance anxiety by accident. Due to pressures or how strict the household is, the native will learn how to sneak around their guardians at an early age. If you know someone with a Capricorn fourth house, there is a high chance they know various tricks and have snuck out of the house more times than they can count. They may not be rebellious by nature, but the restrictions that are placed on them give the native a chance to get creative which may help them later on in life.
Aquarius: The natives who will end up maturing themselves without realizing. When you have Aquarius sitting in the fourth house, there will always be a quality that makes you stand out from those around you. You could either be a foreigner, your traditions are unique, the familial roles within your home aren’t the standard, etc. It can relate to Sagittarius in a way, except where people will either be enamored or flock to Sagittarius, they will point or stare at Aquarius. The way the home operates does not disturb the native necessarily, since they were raised within it and grow used to it over time. This can also manifest in smaller ways such as one guardian working night/erratic shifts, not celebrating holidays, different displays of affection, etc. Regardless, the native will soon become aware of how different they are to their classmates. The native will react in two ways: to avoid attention and keep their head down, or not be bothered and simply normalize their lives as much as they can, answering any questions that come their way. Despite the assumptions, the home can be very receptive and loving. It takes on the Aquarian qualities quite literally; the guardians will be a bit hands off but their love will be felt in other ways. You have to find it in other ways. Due to this combination, the native will subconsciously mature quickly. They will more often than not need to have their own special cove for themselves since they are prone to feeling out of place and out of body within themselves until their middle or late teens.
Pisces: Those having Pisces over their fourth house might have a loose grasp of their childhood memories. There’s a very caring and soft energy to be felt for natives that have this sign here. There’s a possibility that they could have been coddled in their younger years in some way as well. Caretakers will view the native as someone who is very sensitive or they will have their own made up perception of them. So the native might be someone who isn’t excitable but still sociable, however that will be twisted into being shy or closed off when described by their guardian. For those who are sensitive, the side effect of them being sheltered is very high. If the native doesn’t go out of their way to experience life themselves, breaking free of their parent’s grasp will happen later in life. This doesn’t create much conflict outwardly as it does internally; the family will seem very mellow and loving, wanting what’s best for the child. However, the child will also not place too much importance on what they might want since they also tend to be adaptable, not very fussy, and care about their guardian’s happiness. Due to this misunderstanding, the guardian’s can sometimes push their will onto the native — which usually is never ill-intentioned. This is what causes the rose-colored glasses view of their childhood. There are memories that they might throw away or emotions they could suppress whenever revisiting their childhood. They could be well aware of the difficult circumstances of their past but still wash over them with a ‘it wasn’t so bad’ smile. There is a martyrdom that comes with Pisces where if their family is happy, then they’re happy. These kinks will be worked out at some point in their later teenage or adult years when they can no longer outrun the beast.
If you enjoyed this post and would like, please drop by my tip jar, know that I have paid readings open, or check out my other content located in my pinned post!
#astrology#astro observations#fourth house#imum coeli#i hope the people above me like astrology#cause i gotta re-record everything from today#but i decided to post it today cause it's been done#astrology community#4th house#mygalaxypost
562 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
ssravp
Scott Plummer
sissypinkybonnie
sissy bonnie
queenshelbss
Shelbs
daikawashima
三児のイクメンパパきづな社長の五感刺激
regonold
bisexual-disaster