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#(I mean do I still have access to the old original not-side blog? yes. but do I want something fresh? yeah it feels right for that blog)
tachiisms · 2 years
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aceing-on-the-cake · 3 months
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Compulsory Heterosexuality Info Dump
So because a friend of mine didn't know what comp het was and their internet history is monitored by their parents so they can't just use google, I'm doing a very quick research dive and giving you guys the results in case there are others out there who are in the same situation. I'll also be tagging blogs bigger than me because again, there might be fellow queers out their who are in the same boat as my friend and I want them to have access to this information.
So what is compulsory heterosexuality (or comp het)?
Comp het is in essence the societal belief and enforcement of being straight.
What does this mean?
In basic form it means that the only options presented to everyone, from the moment of birth, is that of a cis, amatonormative, heterosexual lifestyle.
You are given two gender options, these gender options determine the two roles you're allowed to fulfill, husband and wife, and you are told that these two roles are what will make you happy and are what you are supposed to strive for.
Meaning society, if you are born AFAB, tells you you're going to one day get married, it's going to be a boy, and this is what will make you happy. Almost everything in life is then seen through this lens. How attractive your are, how you are supposed to talk, how you're supposed to behave, etc is all considered through the lens of if a man will be attracted to you.
On the flip side, if you are born AMAB society tells you there are roles you have to fulfill as well. You are told you will one day want a wife, that you have to be able to have a job to provide for her, that you have to behave in a certain emotional way to be strong for her, that if the things you like are too feminine well then you're gay or a girl which is a problem because at the end of the day you're supposed to want the girl-fiance-wife.
This literally just sounds like the patriarchy.
Yes, it does, because it's caused by it. Nowadays people commonly know about compulsory heterosexuality from the Lesbian Masterdoc, but the term actually originated by Adrienne Rich in 1980.
Adrienne Rich in her article Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence put forward three ideas, 1) that heterosexuality and lesbianism were institutions themselves/possible political ideologies, 2) that heterosexuality as a system if not constantly maintained and upheld would eventually crumble and 3) that heterosexuality as a system could be opted out of and actively fought against whether or not you were actually attracted to women/non-women.
This is very different from the way we currently think of and define those terms, I am aware of that, but her point does still stand to some degrees that comp het, cisnormativity and amatonormativity all crumble when we stop rigidly enforcing the structures that uphold them, i.e., the patriarchy, misogyny, classism, and racism.
Ok but like what does that actually look like?
It can look like a lot of things, for a lot of different people. In the Lesbian Masterdoc you see comp het presented from a straightforward lesbian lens (of a 19 year old figuring out and defining their own sexuality guys, I'm not gonna sit here and critique it and rip it to death, go do that somewhere else).
This is therefore presented through things like women/non-women who were raised/socialized as women possibly having crushes on men, but they're always unattainable in some way (celebrities, fictional, someone real but they wouldn't actually ever be able to truly be in a relationship with, etc). It might also show up for lesbians as liking the idea of a man but being uncomfortable when one actually wants to move forward in the process. Or even sometimes it might show up as sexual fantasies with men but they're faceless, they're more an idea, or you're actually viewing another woman sleeping with him.
This presentation of comp het has made a lot of bi/pan/mspec people uncomfortable because they feel they too have experiencing comp het and when reading the Lesbian Masterdoc it's presented as if experiencing this is a straight shot towards being a lesbian.
And they're right that comp het isn't experienced by just lesbians. For mspecs who present feminine/as women this could be in the feeling that they have to dress a certain way to be presentable, but presentable is based on appealing to men. This can mean something as simple as women are expected to wear makeup, always, regardless of if they're looking to seek men's attention or not, because that's the base standard.
For mspecs who present masculine this can look like the inability to express themselves in an overly emotional manner because that doesn't make them "strong" and if they're not "strong" then they won't attract women, and that's what they're supposed to be doing.
For mspecs in general that can look like their queer looking relationships to be seen as a phase even if their mspec-ness is respected because of course they're eventually going to get married to a man/woman.
This can affect polyamorous cishet people in that they're seen as doing heterosexuality wrong because you're supposed to have the one partner and the 2.5 kids.
This can affect aspecs because they're told they'll never truly feel fulfilled if they don't have that boyfriend/girlfriend/partner to love them in a way that's so special nothing else could match up.
This affects all of us guys is my point.
How is this helpful to me?
Well for sapphics and lesbians (or sapphics/mspecs confused on if they are actually lesbians) this can be a helpful concept to consider because it can help you determine what relationships you truly want to pursue, which is the main point I feel is to be gained from the Lesbian Masterdoc. As she's put it "it's way more important to ask yourself if you can be truthfully happy with a man than if you’re attracted to them"
So if you're a sapphic who experiences attraction to men but you honestly can't ever see yourself willingly entering into a relationship with them, consider the idea of comp het.
If you're Achillean the opposite of this can be true, if you've been attracted to women before but honestly can't ever see yourself willingly entering into a relationship with them, consider whether comp het is working on you.
For mspecs this can be a helpful term to throw over the table back at your parents when they ask when you're going to get a "real relationship".
This can be a helpful term to consider when asking "am I forcing myself to wear mascara because I feel this is the only way I look presentable or do I actually like mascara."
Or it can be a helpful concept to look back on when undermining our internalized ideals of misogyny, towards ourselves and others.
This is a helpful term to put in our tool boxes to talk about the harm the systems of patriarchy, classism, and racism impose upon us.
Comp het can help us to understand why so many people look down on polyamory as a legitimate way of life.
It can be a helpful term for aspecs who are trying to figure out if they really want to date/have sex, or if they just believe these are the only things that will make you happy.
In general
Compulsory heterosexuality is just another term to describe a system we are all intimately familiar with. But by giving us the words to describe our experiences, it gives us the power to communicate those experiences more effectively, and to possibly understand why we're experiencing them.
This is just a bare basic knowledge post.
Honestly if you have the ability to, as in your internet history is not monitored in the way my friend's is, I encourage you to go on the deep dive through the sources listed below. Many of them are honestly only 30 pages long, that's a relatively short read, and understanding queer theory like this not only helps you to understand your own identity, but the ways in which you are connected to the rest of the fellow queer community.
Sources
Lesbian Masterdoc
Queer Theory 101: Compulsory Heterosexuality
Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence
Normativities Defined
Taglist
I'm tagging blogs bigger than me so that this has an easier time getting passed around as I mainly talk about aspec issues because I am aspec, but as stated above, I wanted to make sure that queer people who's internet histories are monitored and are only able to find information through tumblr safely could do so.
@our-queer-experience @our-sapphic-experience @our-lesbian-experience @our-aspec-experience @our-polyamorous-experience @our-pansexual-experience @our-unlabelled-experience @our-aroace-experience @our-mspec-experience @our-questioning-experience @our-bisexual-experience
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natsadkid2 · 3 months
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27 March 2022 for latest update from this blog and now I’m back!
Re-draw project: Teenage magazine ft. Irwin and Barry💅🏻
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This is original pic I drew ~3 years ago👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻, You can see some little details of their clothes that changed a little bit especially Irwin’s suspender belt for more fit to his jacket
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If you winder why I put too much watermarks on new one lol, actually it’s a little joke that I wanted to do something different from my previous work that the watermark has only one, in the bottom right of the image. I just hope it can protect me from someone who will steal or re-upload my FanArt (actually this way can’t solve this problem that much but “at least” many ppl gonna know where is this pic from/ who’s real art owner when my arts were re-uploaded by another ppl)
Actually I don’t think before that one day I must post about this point, bc I think my arts aren’t famous or good that much to touch someone’s heart(?) until use it as a stuff for sending to wrestlers. Plus, there have many many artist whose has more opportunity to take more risks than me because I think they’re all better artist than me. But at last it still happened to little blog like mine💀look at this👇🏻👇🏻
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I'm a wrestling fan from Thailand. Getting an autograph from each wrestler is very difficult and never happened to me(Whether it's a problem with currency units, banks, transportation costs that far away like on different side of the world, etc.) So, each wrestling Fanart I draw I don’t expect anything about money or even expect that they(wrestlers) will see my FanArt(bc they’re all old and not use any social media) . I’m drawing bc of self-relaxation/ make you enjoy my arts/ make you know that I like these wrestlers too. But there has someone expect money by using my art (that owner doesn’t expect anything) to be the way to earn little money, I just think it’s not fair Plus, if I got an autograph from my favorite wrestler on my Fanarts for real, I would definitely not sell it. Because it’s something that has sentimental value, cannot be measured in monetary terms. Meanwhile, some people can easily get a wrestler's autograph BUT didn't see its value, sold it for someone else , That’s horrible/ not cute/ not ✨FABULEUX✨ at all 🗣️🗣️
Until this day I still can’t describe my feeling about this, funny? Irritable? Or???😂. Bc at the same way, finally FanArt from Thai girl can reach the hands of uncle Mike and uncle Barry, they have seen my FanArt already. I can’t believe it happened to me
(⭐️Important point) You choose my ugly fanart lol I mean.. not many people understand that it’s WWF Highschool AU!!🤦🏻‍♀️can’t imagine how uncle Barry and uncle Mike gonna feel when reading wtf sentence on this art by don’t understand anything. They can’t access the imagination of young girl😂
And yes, this is my face when I scroll down the phone screen and see many old FanArt with weird lines and coloring lol. Too baddddd😵‍💫But I won’t delete them lol. Keep it as memories how far of my drawing development.
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sillyfudgemonkeys · 11 months
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sorry to sound like a normie, but what's P3EM?
You aren't a normie love, I'm just psychotic (aka I'm just an uberfan that's in too deep TT0TT).
So P3EM (Stylized as P3M but we use that for the movies nowadays so 8U) was a P3 cellphone game (like on flip phones) WAY back in the day. A lot of japanese IPs made these bad bois (KH coded was one and then became recoded). Some were single player stories, some were mmo type stuff. Atlus dabbled in both. Sadly, a lot of these games in general got purged. ;w; Only way to access them is if you buy an old used phone that JUST SO HAPPENS to have it still downloaded on it.
ANYWAY, so P3Em is one of these bad bois, the ones that got purged. ;w; We only have old japanese blog info and advertisement pics to go off of. The link I put down was to the Megaten Wiki, a very cool person was able to find some of these Japanese blogs and translated 2nd hand accounts (I found the same blogs when I went looking awhile back), so unlike most of that wiki, this page should be roughly accurate (with what info we CAN find).
ANYWAY ANYWAY, this is a special one of the many Persona cellphone games, because like: P1 Iku no To Hen, P2 IS Lost Memories, P2 EP Infinity Mask, and Aigis the First Mission, they are all side stories that tie into the main plot.
P3Em takes place during the Yakushima trip. A special event called the "Nightmare hour" takes place there, and a special Tartarus like dungeon called "Oneiros" is there too. During the day you SL with your teammates (Yes P3MC SLs with Junpei/Aki amazing!) and at night you explore Oneiros (which is at least 80 floors if not more).
You go through, fight shadows but what's really cool is....there are boss fights similar to P2's Shadow Selves/Reverse Personas and P4's Shadow Selves. They are called Arche-Persona (Arche def: Archē, or 'principle', is an ancient Greek philosophical term. Building on earlier uses, Aristotle established it as a technical term with a number of related meanings, including 'originating source', 'cause', 'principle of knowledge' and 'basic entity')
Arche-Persona appear to be representative of the char not knowing themselves fully (but not rejecting like P4 Shadow Selves, it's just being unaware of something). They do act similar via confronting SEES. But they look like the casts Persona, just a diff color scheme (Like Reverse Personas in P2, or Magatsu Izanagi).
Which one that shows up depends on your part apparently.
I'm so fascinated bc its like a mini P3/nusona game and sounds so fun! TT0TT
You also have this sexy beast (srry P3Re, ya got nothing on this sexy stringbean)
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katyspersonal · 2 years
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Omg, I’m so glad to hear this! I totally thought you were maybe tired of writing those long posts, and I mean granted, I wouldn’t blame you. That’s A LOT of writing, but man, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy devouring every word of it. Your thoughts are incredibly insightful (hehe, get it?). No one else I’ve seen really delves into the Japanese text and all the visual details quite the same way. I really do hope you feel encouraged to keep sharing but with no pressure simultaneously if you are looking to keep your main blog mostly for art stuff! It’s all up to you of course, but yes, please know that you have a very dedicated fan hiding in the shadows that loves scouring through your notes like a Byrgenwerth scholar studying the cosmos lol!
...Ahaha allllllright I really need to find the weird guy that started to apparently pay people to send me compliments fshjghds Because recently I am having abundance of them and that never happens :^) /j
Thank you very much though; This means a lot! I will admit, I shared majority of my core theories, the rest are just some details I share at my own pace or when prompted <:3 Bloodborne solidified my belief that videogames ARE the best form of art for me. With BB, to understand more you need to analyse EVERY medium - more lore lurks in the songs lyrics, in songs leitmotifs, in colors, in subtle design similarities between clothes, in environment, in face datas, in cut content that is STILL useful, in internal filenames, in item descriptions, in item placements... And, ah, yeah, dialogue is there too I guess! xD
I have strong love for complicated, multi-sided things like this. If BB music was just pretty music with no lore significance - that would not be the same. Just check out how first stage of Rom's theme sounds like broken version of first stage of OoK's theme! If clothes designs were just cool drips with no lore significance - that would not be the same. Look at how interesting it is that default Hunter and Henriett are wearing bootleg style of Old Hunters! It just means a lot for me when someone enjoys all these infinite DETAILS with me ;-; Bloodborne is a godsend for my habit to overthink!
But... Yeah, never count on localizations of foreign media, ESPECIALLY Japanese ones. For some reason western translations often seem to warp the original context to fit their values/agendas more - and then western fans pick that up and continue. Or sometimes they simplify lore for no reason? Just ask Kirby fans what they did with Four Matters in Star Allies! Gehrman being made into a creep that tells you that you can do... things with the Doll is just one of the most awful examples, and I totally believe it was intentional and not a misinterpretation! Because a sexist creep is "easier to understand", in opinion of localization team, for western audience than an actually cool character or something? It is CRUCIAL for me to know what creators were truly trying to say! For example:
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This is what Miyazaki had to say about Fauxsefka, and it changed my perception of her a lot back then! I used to think she was just a crazy binch using people to drain Insight from them once they're Kin with the cosmos yeah... But angle of Miyazaki helped me to look from different perspective and I could suddenly see what he meant with her character? Her dialogue about 'willing to save even if just one person' no longer seemed like bullshit lying to win sympathy, but as genuine sentiment - she was helping people to evolve past the risk of falling into beasthood the only way she knew how!
And it is arguable, twisted 'heroism' but isn't it what makes it SO interesting? THE core fun of interacting with overseas media is how different some things can be! Original Japanese script is just the next fastest way to access what creators TRULY wanted to say, after reading direct interviews of course x) So yeah that's why I always rely on direct excerpts from Japanese for my theories!
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gb-patch · 3 years
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Ask Answers: June 6th, 2021
I’m back with more ask responses! You can also check our Frequently Asked Question sheet if there’s something you’re wondering that’s not answered here.
FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog
Thank you for the patience with these questions  ♡
Hey in very beginning of step 3 in the scene where Mr.Holden had a thought dancing on the tip of his tongue but he kept it to himself after MC and Cove were being cute (idk if it makes a difference but this is when they're dating)... Can we know what he was thinking/ wanted to say? It's been bugging me lol 
He would’ve gone into a “look how much you’ve grown”, “your dad is so proud of you”, “I’m so glad things worked out with the MC”, and etc spiel, haha. But he resisted the urge to fawn on his baby boy, at least for that scene.
If we planned to move away for college/future plans in step 3, is it implied that MC and Cove would have a long distance relationship for sure? Could MC have convinced Cove to come with them? How is the dynamic of their relationship going to be addressed in Step 4, if that makes sense? 
Cove is willing to follow the MC where they went after everything is settled for them there, and if they’re sure they want him to come! You’ll get to decide how things shook out during those transitional years just by making choices about it during the opening prologue of Step 4.
Hi! First off, how does it feel to have created one of the best games when it comes to inclusion for lbtq+ peeps? I've never felt as validated with my identity and sexuality when playing a game and I'm seemingly not alone ♥ Second, and this might be a little too specific, but what kinds of drinks does Cove like as well as dislike? Thank you, you're the best ♥
Thank you for very much! It’s really nice to hear the game felt inclusive. Cove likes regular water and fruit juices/smoothies most! He dislikes coffee and cola, and he’s not super into most teas either.
Hi, may i ask what gb patch stands for? Specifically the gb part lol
It stands for my old, silly username I used in places like Neopets as a kid, aha. The company name wasn’t super thought out since it was originally just me making VNs as a hobby. Luckily, “GB Patch” kind of seems like it could mean something reasonable, so I didn’t have to rebrand when it did become a more serious, commercial group.
If we chose to not propose to cove in the step 3 dlc would he propose or would the mc propose in step 4 or the wedding dlc? 
Yeah, you or Cove can propose in Step 4 if you’re not already engaged! The Wedding DLC takes place after the engagement so the proposal scenes aren’t there.
will you guys announce if the early access for the new game is out on patreon ? 
When beta builds of Step 4 or whatever start coming out on the Patreon we will mention it here on social media too.
Heyy I just had a quick question about Baxter if that’s okay :)?
I saw in an ask+answer that it’s possible to casually date Baxter In step 3, but what leads up to that? I have the step 3 dlc and I’ve tried playing them In a different orders and ways but it doesn’t seem to get anywhere ^^;
The Step 3 DLC is Cove-based because he’s the default guy. There’s a separate Baxter romance DLC that’s not out yet. That’s where you can get him to date you. I’m sorry for the confusion!
Will we ever get any LI's or side characters with physical disabilities or deformities? I think your games would be a great place to have them in since they're always so accepting and safe! 
Yeah, we do hope to have representation for that in future projects ^^. Thank you for the confidence in us.
Is it possible to get Cove to take the bed and MC to sleep on the floor? 
Not in Step 3, I’m afraid.
So, I have played the prologue of Our Life countless times and I haven't gotten the [Your Life] achievement, why is that? 
Steam sometimes isn’t connected properly when an achievement unlocks and so it remains locked on your account. If that happens, unfortunately getting the scene again won’t unlock it. The achievement becomes inaccessible because the game thinks you already have it. Playing with the same Steam account on a different device or fully deleting your game data (more than the only the save files) are the only work arounds we’ve found.
Since when you talk with Jeremy in step 3 it's mentioned he goes on dates with someone (which assume is JB because who else would take this boy on dates) that makes him happy, does that sort of make JB and Jeremy the canon relationship in the first game?
The default for XOXO Droplets is that JB casually goes on dates with each of the jerks! Shiloh would’ve been harsher if Jeremy was the only guy getting her attention, haha. But the player can change that default by dating just one person the whole game for their own story and who she ends up with for real has no default.
Hi, hello! Huge OL fan, thank you so much for the wholesome content, it was very much needed during these times. Managed to get several people to join team Cove, so that's very exciting, I always have people to fawn over him with. I have a little question and I'm sorry if it was asked before, but does it ever come up in the game what Cove has told his mom about us? (who knows, with so many options, one can miss it) Or, alternatively, will it come up in the Step 4 DLC? 
Thank you very much for sharing the game with people <3. It’s really great to hear people are liking it. Right now that doesn’t come up in game. Kyra is willing to keep her mouth shut and Cove isn’t gonna have that conversation either. At least not when he’s younger, but yes, perhaps when he’s a fully grown big boy in Step 4 you can ask him about it.
I’ve been thinking about this ever since it has been confirmed that there would be two love interests for OL2, would there be the possibility of forming a polyamorous relationship with both love interests? I’m sorry if you answered this previously, I’m just curious. 
We are considering it, but it’s not a guarantee yet. It’d be really great to have but it’d add so many extra alterations that’d need to made, aha.
Hello! You mentioned how Cove would be uncomfortable with kids at 23, but how old would he be when he’s comfortable with having/adopting kids? (Same goes for the other LI’s.) btw, love your game!! 
He’d want to be at least 25, but even older would be good. Derek would want to have kids when he and his partner could reasonably support them, the age itself wouldn’t matter. If they were doing good at 22 and wanted kids, he’d be up for it. Or they could wait until their 30s or whatever. Baxter is also more of a “when it feels right” guy rather than having a specific age requirement. Cove is just especially wary of being a young parent because of his own parents. I’m happy you like the game!
does step 4 immediately play after you press "end summer" in step 3? or is there another button/transition (like the story text thingy) before the epilogue begins? what happens after the epilogue? roll credits? 😂 
Step 4 will have transition section always and there will be an extra button, if you own the Derek or Baxter DLC. By default the Cove-based version of Step 4 just plays once Step 3 is over. However, having the other guys’ storylines will mean you get to pick which version of Step 4 plays; Cove Step 4 (the basic one), Derek Step 4, or Baxter Step 4.
Happy pride, thank you for all you do for us🥰
I have a quick question though, I recently got a MacBook after my old windows computer broke, and now steam says I cannot download it, but it has no issues with other games, what can I do to download it?? I’m sorry if my English is bad
Happy pride month! Unfortunately, Our Life isn’t available for Mac on Steam right now. To be an approval application Apple requires having special notarization and we as a small group haven’t gotten that. Itch doesn’t care and lets us release the game for Mac there anyway, Steam does care so we’re locked out of putting the Mac build up on their storefront. Feel free to email us and we can try to help the situation out further!
Hello! I was jus wondering if the Baxter and Derek DLCs are still happening? I haven’t heard anything about them on here or patreon in a while so I just wanted to make sure ^^
They’re still coming and we just released a new sprite sketch on the Patreon for the Derek DLC c:. But right now Step 4 is still much more of a priority. Once that’s closer to being done we’ll focus way more on sharing previews for the other guys.
is it possible to tell cove you love him (platonically) at step 3 fondness/selecting him as basically family? i just love the mc and liz sibling interactions and it got me wondering about it (especially if you've selected that option)
You and Cove can be as close as family, but there’s not a specific scene in Step 3 where you say “I love you” in a family context. But there’s always Step 4~
do you intend on ever adding a collectors mode to Our Life? Like a way to collect achievements and CGs for the gallery without it effecting any save files? 
We weren’t considering it before. But if a lot of players would find that helpful, we could start thinking on that!
Sorry if it's a silly question haha, but (in crush/love) is Cove really aware of how cute and cuddly he seems to MC? If so, what does he think or do about it? Or does he just ignore it? 
He isn’t particular aware. Cove never truly stops being surprised that the MC is interested in/attracted to him, haha.
Would you say that the alone ending of xoxo droplets is worth playing again to get? 
Nope, haha. The goal is to make friends/get a boyfriend and so the alone ending is kind of the bad ending for the game. Though there is a consolation prize if you get it by accident.
Is there any possible situation which would ever prompt Pran to bake for his girlfriend? Like I know it's unlikely I mean even if JB broke her leg somehow I'm pretty sure he'd still be like "I considered baking you a cake and doing the frosting the way I think looks interesting but you don't deserve a cake, no one does." right but also ahhh it would be super nice if some day he just surprised her with baked goods one day out of nowhere. JB would be so shocked it would be cute. So is there any possible situation where that could/would be a thing that he would do? 
He might bake out of spite, like if he felt he had to prove her wrong on something. Or if JB used some good reverse psychology on him. Or he might do it in a relatively nice way if he could make his GF so shocked by the kind gesture that his amusement with that overrode his insistence on not being sweet. Pran is very difficult in high school, aha.
Is the "one route (where) it can be seen that Everett will drop his seemingly eternal waging with Jeremy pretty easily and can start getting along without thinking much on it" the Lucas route? I'm curious! 
Yep! Everett will side with Jeremy if it’s between him and Lucas.
Hi I hope you guys are having a great day :) I just had to ask how Cliff would feel about Cove's partner/fiancé Mc calling them dad whether it be accidental or otherwise and secondly I also wanted to ask how he would feel about being asked to be the one to give the mc away at their wedding. 
He would be very touched and excited! I hope you have a good day too :D
Hello! I saw an ask relating to whether Cliff "moves on" after Cove's grown up and stuff (and he stays single), but what about Kyra? Will she be with anyone else or will she stay single? 
She does start dating again, but she takes it slow.
Hi! I absolutely love the art for characters in OL and I wonder is this fine to draw my MC in same drawing style and upload online later? Is this something artists would be okay with? Thank you! 
Yeah, you can certainly do that C:
Hey there!
I wonder if I'm just being stupid here.. Is Step 4 a DLC? And if so, where can I find it? I can't seem to find it on Steam :< Thank you!
Step 4 is a free epilogue! It’s not done yet, but once it is finished you’ll just update your game file and Step 4 will be there after Step 3 ends.
hi! are step 4 and the wedding dlc two different things?
They are. Step 4 is a free epilogue that’ll be a default part of the game once it’s done, the wedding DLC is an optional paid expansion that takes place after Step 4.
Why did Baxter not receive a step 2 sprite seeing how he shows up later
Sprites are time consuming to draw and take money out of the budget that could’ve gone to other things. His tiny appearance in Step 2 wasn’t worth all the effort to make a sprite, aha.
I just realized, what happens if if you get the patreon exclusive moment but at a later date, when you don't have the membership anymore, it's updated (like a bugs fix update for example)? Would you have to get the membership again? 
You would have to get the membership again to redownload the build. But there’s very little chance there’s going to be an update once it’s been out for over a month. If a build gets released with errors, players catch/report them within the first few days. So by the time the first subscription period ends, any problems that were noticeable would already have been fixed. And we’re certainly not gonna be adding new content to it once it’s been released for a long time. There’s no need to worry about missing out on something worthwhile in the future if you cancel your membership. It’s being made with the idea in mind that many players are gonna be getting it and then going.
Hello! Wanted to ask about gaming choice in step 3? Once upon a playthorugh I got the option to buy Cove a bracelet for his graduation present. I played the same basic character again and that option wasn't there anymore. I'm not sure where I went wrong. My Cove wears a bracelet on each hand and my MC is into fashion and jewelry. Do I need to put an earring on him or? Sorry, love your game so much. 
He also needs to have liked bracelets in Step 2 for that to be considered a good gift option for him. Sorry for the confusion! I’m happy you love the game :)
Is Step 4 being released at the same time as the Wedding DLC or will the first come before the latter? Thank you! 
I’m not sure. Ideally they’ll come out at the same time, but the wedding DLC has a lot of art to get done and we may have to release it after Step 4.
Can mc still get confession from Cove at the end of step 3 even if mc casually dates Baxter in step 3? Such as in crush mode? 
I don’t think so. Maybe that’ll change, but generally there’s differences to the Step 3 ending if you were dating Baxter and those differences likely will conflict with getting the Cove confession.
For the patreon moments/dlcs, will it be available for all tiers? 
It’ll be available for tier 2 (Fans) and up!
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floralkittygambler · 2 years
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Semi-Return
I'm gonna be honest, I haven't the foggiest if I actually mentioned I'd be on Hiatus or if life just yoinked the rug under my mitts. Apologies for a lack of head's up - *if* anyone's still around. Below will be a contents of what this post will be about. Please feel free to skip to whichever part is to your liking. The cards are in your favour.
CONTENTS: - Reasons for Absence - Unanswered Asks/Deleted Asks When Anon Was Enabled - Hazbin/Helluva, Basically some of my thoughts on both from the time I left til now, and other hazzy shite like that - Other Hazzy thoughts incl the staff and fandom PLUS the interactions here PLUS PLUS if any of those thoughts have changed - Future of this blog
Loooong Read
REASONS FOR ABSENCE:
Honestly. Life. That's it really. Life. I'm chronically knackered. Ive got those under my care to tend to. I got a lot to sort. Etc etc. Also the drama here, as well as just... Honestly hearing about someone I saw as a friend being very young - that wouldnt normally upset me because they're a friend, but... I still worry for them. Their wellbeing. And I feel (in my personal experience - good for you if youve had better... Yer lucky feck! ;P) tumblr and twitter are some of the most toxic places sometimes, especially with the utter bs both carry. Humans are erroneous by design and we should help people be educated and grow. But that's not my experience with either site. Both fuel yes men, altered reality, bullying and misinformation as well as hate. Both preach about equality yet both are the most excluding, hateful places in my experience. Also in before the 'but YOURE a hater' - One, I critic. I'm talking about shit like death threats, false accusations, REAL shit. Real harmful shit. Either way, if you see this, I genuinely fucking care, alright? But for the love of whatever you believe in, you need to find a SAFE and POSITIVE space, Sweet- Tumblr and Twitter can be really bigoted, bias and hateful (I know, "But we here support LGBT+ etc etc" bollocks. Some of you think hating hets and cis or whatever is equality. Some of you harass trans. Equality means fucking EQUALITY. Shouldnt be hard to be remotely decent and just fucking RESPECT one another. Preach allll you fucking want about 'The Gov doesnt care and victimises us!" - and youd be right! - but you play directly into that by following into hate and finding a blame game or scapegoat regardless of the reality. Be. NICE. It's the bare minimal of being a person. We arent perfect and aint always nice but at least try to have decency and manners MOST the times. Likewise, both sides get into these lil rally wars n shit yet hold people to extremely high standards. It's silly. High standards are GREAT but perfectionism is not a realistic acheivement. Point is, dont be a shitbag to the best of your abilities. And to this particular friend, please PLEASE just get away from all this mess and focus on you and your health and identity. You have potential and I dont want to see that squandered by the toxicity of society when they think being behind wires and plastic sheets is gonna protect their shittiness. Look after yourself, ok? Im worried. Im not the best at wording shit or emotional stuff or approaching, but I do care. Please look after yourself.
UNANSWERED ASKS/DELETED ASKS FROM GOING ANON:
Tbf I didnt know going anon would delete the old asks - thanks for that lil warning tumblr... ya knobs lol. Alright I'll get to them as fast as I can but again, Ive got many duties to attend to. Luckily some I got still noted that were deleted soooo~ Sadly most were anon so whilst the original person sadly may not see, it'll at least be accessible for them. I'll apologise for promising this so much. I prefer to give a genuine answer. Give time to dedicate to those who take time to leave them. Basically, Im a sad fucker LOL Nah but it's just nice to give and share time, innit? Oh but for anything like hate, aggression, etc? Nah... Also can we stop sending people (not just for me but for everyone - Ive heard people get sent some right awful shit) threats of assault, false allegations, triggers, etc etc. Just dont mate. Im seeing a rise in online harassment in many places and it's just pathetic we've hit this stage aint it?
Hazbin/Helluva, Basically some of my thoughts on both from the time I left til now, and other hazzy shite like that:
Errr honestly? I speak mostly within a private critiques group on this stuff now. Many because we can give an instant reaction before actually mulling over thoughts, opinions, critiques, there's so much room to educate ourselves and others and it's liberating to have a voice in which folks can agree, disagree, whichever and be mature and friendly in these moments. It's an honour. Likewise, there's a verification process to ensure you're actually an adult and who you claim to be to make sure things are ran appropriately. The very few minors allowed are ones we've known for awhile and can trust to act appropriately (likewise they're instantly disabled from accessing any NSFW channels - though discussions on SpindleHorse and whatnot are appropriately labelled and censored. To sum up my thoughts briefly (I know, a fucking challenge lol), I aint a fan. Simple. More indepth of bts will be in the next section, but for the shows themselves... HB just... Eh, I like some designs but otherwise it's like Twilight - fanfic gone famous and catering to the wrong stuff. Animation errors that are pretty piss poor considering their team. Story is shit, Im sorry. But it's just shit. I wanted to learn about IMP and all that. Not some toxic fujoshi on imp x an insult of a genuine demon (x2 if you include Fizz). There's a difference between authentic rep from a good place and queerbaiting for clout, brownie points and money. And anyone can be bigoted, ignorant or toxic in ways, including to their own identities. It's just... Ive seen better. All in all, it's demonic Family Guy. Fun for mindless entertainment but stale jokes, crap music, decent-ish designs, really it's animated low-quality fanfiction to cater to an overabundance fanservice that forgets it's original purpose. Inconsistent. Just... There's better if quality matters to you in any of these areas. It's strength lies in pretty visuals. It's clear that it panders more to younger, immature, teen audiences, as well as certain toxic things (such as glorifying sexual abuse). As a worshipper, I personally find the depiction of real demons to be an insult to them, especially in use of real sigils without any skillset in usage. Viv and co SHOULD have learned this from the Alastor uproar but clearly not. More on that in the next section pertaining to Viv and co themselves. Overall, it's... Mediocre. Im not saying it's easy, but it's clearly lacking in a multitude of areas. Perhaps I'll cover these in authentic review breakdowns in the future. Perhaps not. It's overhyped for what you get. And for those saying "But numbers!!! It's doing well!" not only have numbers dipped but more importantly not everything of higher quality/passion/deserving gets there - at least not as rapidly. Look at people who constantly scam their audiences like Tana (scams, lazy, not really that entertaining unless you're young, pulls an obnoxious childish tantrum for attention), or drama fuelled people like Trisha Paytas, or even proven vile individuals like Jeffree Starr (though he IS very talented), Shane Dawson (mediocre 'documentaries'), Onision (though luckily he's getting less glory which means less kids to ruin), etc etc. Some only run a career from controversy. Some have genuine talent but not the attitude to match, etc etc. How often do we find many hidden gems or underrated glory? Exactly that! Exactly that. As for Hazbin? Eh too. Honestly I can't fucking stand Angel Dust. He's shitty, flat (in characterisation), mostly a stereotype (for BOTH the hypersexual predatory gay -aka the 1950s perspective, or the uwu cute fluffy innocent boi. He's just... Flat), not particularly interesting to me nor my cup of tea. And though absolutely none of you are actually privy to my reasonings or experiences, Ive met and currently know some nasty AD-types and suffered some shit. That's my business I'll get more into soon. TLDR; I dont like the main protagonist (ONE of the main). And no, it's nothing to do with sex work or sexuality. It's sad I even have to say that. Charlie's new design whilst better than the old design is
still kinda crap. Have little hope in Hazbin - both in success but more importantly in my personal interest of it. I'll probably still draw and cosplay and what not, but I aint a fan. Simple as really. Again Ive seen better things at the same stage. It's just massively overhyped and has a fanbase of those it claims it wasnt for - just shows how shit the marketing is. Also Sam and Raph for the official team is bad. Luckily they arent writers, but they're both very questionable. One could argue that for most staff and fans tbf but still. Not my circus, not my monkeys.
Other Hazzy thoughts incl the staff and fandom PLUS the interactions here PLUS PLUS if any of those thoughts have changed:
Errrrr, right. To try to briefen shit, I dont support the staff or majority of the fandom. So fucking much hatred, hiveminded toxicity. Hell, the utter sweetheart who told me a H*skerD*st Discord was ragging on me (tbf that's online and just people for you, the thing that bothers me is this thing Im about to say plus the fact that these fans were almost encouraged to bully and harass me, that's obviously not ok. Shit talk me if it helps you and if you're healthy to yourself about it. Shit talk to mates or in private. But dont just encourage harassment, false rumours, be an onlooker to this shit or anything of that nature. That's shitty on you. Whilst I value honesty, I also acknowledge and accept people do shit talk. That's fine, we've all done it. Just dont encourage shitty things and act later to stop it nor be an onlooker to it. That's just disgusting of you) turns out in that group is a fan of HH, and a HB artist, HunterGirl (Look, you're talented, I dont like you and Im very aware that's semi-mutual, tbh I aint that big on your radar to hate, just more of a 'Oh that prick' sorta jobby. I aint got that much of an inflated ego LOL. But if you by chance see this - I know yall have me on blacklist to not talk about - but just... You're a fucking STAFF member. This isn't professional of you. Tbf, none of SH is professional imo but you need to conduct yourself better. To see the bts shit talking - if you could even call it that - is just... It's just disappointing to see you interact with fans this way and allow such shit to happen for so long. It's immature and the fact that SH FANS are getting these personal interactions with you to see this... I know they're on your side but you need to set a better example of how to conduct yourself - especially at the level of publicity you have. Ive seen so many of the SH staff and even Viv to this current day still do twatish things and bully smaller artists and whatnot. Please just set a better example of conduct and hold YOURSELF to better standards. Though - again - if in the unlikely circumstance that you see this, I do appreciate you eventually putting a stop to it. It's just moreso 1) Behaving professionally as well as an appropriate relationship with fans with clear boundaries - note to onlookers: Hunter hasnt done anything predatory to my knowledge, I just mean that interacting with fans is different than to your mates - and 2) Dont allow harassment to happen. It's fine if theres a healthy space to rant about it or be annoyed, but the harassment, bullying and outright denial some of your people had over MY traumas is utterly disrespectful and immature. I just appreciate that for the most part, those particular fans would either have me blacklisted/blocked here as well or will respect my space also).
I dont want to go into massive details but I just dont like most SH fans. Some are fucking lovely and many are amazingly talented. But many are just the reason people instantly hate something without giving it a chance. It's a self written self defeating prophecy almost. Cult-like mindset (note cult-*like*). Hiveminded with minimal difference or tolerance to individuality - no respect for that so everyone bullies one another to prove their more righteous and it's pathetic. Most fans, I just dislike. Will I hate and harass? Fuck no, never have. But Ive stood my corner. As youve seen, I dont tolerate shit. We all deserve some level of respect and if you're going to throw me under the bus over thinking differently then I'll defend myself. It's two way. None of you lot should tolerate bullying or unnecessary vitriol either. On those lines, there's also a fuckin rumour awhile back that I was a bully and bullying Viv LOL To clarify, criticism isnt bullying. And honestly? Seeing the sort Viv is, she needs tough love, less control and more flexibility to mature. She's spoilt and it shows. She ruins her own potential. If A24 give her too much say, HH will be just as corny and mediocre as HB. It's trying too hard to be BoJack and coming out more like Family Guy Hell, instead of being it's OWN thing, telling it's OWN story and what not. Viv, stop trying to fucking fit in and please everyone with your stupid ships and whatnot like YanDev with his daft Easter Eggs. Both of you bend over for the wrong sorts. Compromise with the right ones and grow a lot! Tbh my criticism's here were nicer. Why? Because I wanted her to grow and succeed. Past tense. Part of me feels if this fails, it may be that push she needs to force herself into self growth and improvement, however I'm not going to personally orchestrate that. For starts, she's great at that alone. Secondly, I'm just being a critic. Im not going out of my way to fucking bully anyone. Im far too busy for one, and secondly it's just not appropriate. I'll stand my ground and defend but that's it. If anyone - anyone - was to be my target to take down personally... It's highly unprofessional and inappropriate to mention but it'd be like someone who harms kids or animals. Not some petty Mean Girl Wannabes online. But dangerous big fry. Where I'd actually contribute to doing something to protect others. Viv and Co are just... Idk. Theyre just your classic bitchy clique at times and hide some of their incompetence's and horrible behaviours publicly yet are still mostly the same nasties they always have been. They can do better if they put in the hard work to see that and do it. If anything, they just enable one anothers bad habits. They behave cruelly. They flock together with their own sort. They're not particularly wonderful or role models but they arent bottom of the barrel. I'll say some harsh shit about them but I wont make up shit (If I spread a source that turns out false, lmk and I'll get to that! Dislike false information) and I wont encourage anyone to be a twat to others. If I find out anyone following is behaving a fool, I'll let them know to behave better. I dont like Viv. I dont like most of her staff (I like Monica, we mainly talk about her bird tbh. She's been lovely so far and her bird keeping advice is useful. See? Proof animals are the key to being better, animals just join folks. Praise animals! XD). Most of them have very bad vibes and red flags. I dont support being cunts to them either. If you wish to vocally voice distaste by all means! But never seek them out to be horrid nor send others. Just dont. I wish Spindle would behave better and genuinely grow as people but they wont - not in the current state theyre in. Self feeding cycle. Its a wasteful shame. Though... If ANYONE has read my things and gone off to bully or harass anyone, you're a fucking dolt and need to re-evaluate your conduct! Dont be a prick. Being courteous should NOT be as difficult as people online are portraying. It's shameful!
I dislike the fucking drama, hate and how vile nearly everyone involved is - from fans to staff. Really, it's unwarranted and for those claiming to add to positive rep, you're fucking ace at killing diversity within fandoms. Embrace both similarity and difference. Both are GOOD. Unless being a toxic twat is involved then very bad! And toxic as in all this bullying and shit. Not everything is or will be positive, but if hate isnt present or a warrant for war, then it can be used to improve. But what do I know, I'm just the window cleaner.
Also yes, I hate HD still. For my traumas, I - like many others online - felt pressured to justify my opposing opinion by the inclusion of my traumas. Ultimately it was still me to post those. But truthfully? No one owes you shit. If someone says something triggers or has any traumatic connection - no matter how silly seeming - just take it as is. Congrats, some people lie in life. But for those like myself who were honest, it's shit to be gruellingly transparent about our hurts. No one is entitled to that. You arent my medical team. You arent anyone who is there to assist me in my experiences. And you have absolutely NO right to dictate to me the reality of my experiences as well as their impact. I do not owe you any details of my experiences. And they are not your weapons. They arent weapons at all. Regardless, many both agreed and disagreed. But for the love of god, no one owes details for others to judge if they warrant a trigger. Just be respectful. For that period, you know what happened bts? I posted my peace on my profile. People came to me both agreeing and disagreeing. People also came to me with hatred and harassment and gaslighting. Never did I seek out others. If someone has pro-HD, I just block those tags, those people, that related stuff as best as possible. Alas, I do not need others to validate and authenticate my traumas nor do I need to be open about them to explain my reasonings to anyone. Hate it, love it, dont care. But I have my opinions and this is one of those I will not shift on for personal reasons. That's all any stranger needs to know. Agree to disagree, respect that, move on. Finally on this section. Im aware HH/HB are religious liberations for Viv. I can respect that. I understand religion isnt something that everyone can see fondly. Hell it's harmful to some via traumas and what have you. But I'll respectfully disagree on your approaches to sex positive (which comes off more fetishing and 1 dimensional than more in depth and fleshed out and varied, as well as cheating being this scandalous thrill - which cheating is shit even if the partner isnt great. Just split. Adults act like babies sometimes, and I mean that about the real world) as well as compatibility and religion/beliefs. I just ask that 1) at LEAST be respectful about Voudou (which helped black slaves feel liberation in times of severe oppression and slavery for poc) as well as 2) Look, personally basing designs on deities can be risky. But if there's 2 things I'll warn it's that you need to be careful using real sigils (make up a false one based on the original and strip it of power or something) and your versions of genuine demons are... yikes. Just fucking go full throttle on artistic liberties to make your own or... Just make your own! I'm not asking you to believe, but to know when to be respectful. Religion is portrayed as ultimate good and ultimate evil no matter what, just be more skillful at this. Dont claim to be this demonology pro when what you show proves otherwise. Make it clear to fans that these are different to the actual ones. Something. Just at least respect Voudou and be careful with real sigils. Hell even if you have to be cliche and misuse the pentagram and pentacle, it's safer. Making your own would be more useful in uniquely branding yourself safely. And research. But it feels less of liberation for something that's oppressed and hurt you and more so just petty mockery for revenge as well as unresolved other pains on your side. I dont doubt it's harmed you - but SHOW, make us feel, and breathe in that expressive liberation. Something-
Future of this blog:
I'll still haunt the shit out of you.
In less ominous terms, I'll be on-off I suppose. Less SpindleHorse focused as the drama aint worth it and I dont like most folks attached. Just most are fuelled by being a knobhead. I can name people here in my head that it's clear they gang together and intentionally bait fights whilst having paper thin, water damaged counter points themselves. CBA. That being said, it's my blog and I'll post whatever for me. If you dont take interest or want to harass, leave. If you like it, stay. But BUT if Im misinformed or ignorant or anything like that, just tell me politely. Educate me. Help me grow. We can help each other. It's not hard if you reach out peacefully and in a friendly way. Encourage growth in others. Just... Dont be a bellend.
Anyways, Im going to imagine taking a shit as I clean out the Snowminator. Why? Because he needs a clean and I dont have the fucking foggiest if I actually need the loo or if Im just bored.
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jenivi7 · 3 years
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writing tag game!
Thank you @clyde-side and @bdeblueyes for the tag!!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
22 plus a small handful on ff.net that I still intend to move over to AO3.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
30,445!  I’m surprised it’s that much considering how short most of those stories are. (And it’s a little deceptive since it doesn’t include the 80k monstrosity that is Ryou and the Thief. That one’s probably going to stay on ff.net though.)
3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Those Things He Keeps for Himself (Total agreement. Personally I think this is the best thing I’ve written so far.)
Human (Was at #1 until very recently! I attribute this entirely to the story being on @shinayashipper’s Rivalshipping Rec List. Thank you Red! <3 )
Black (From when I wandered into Homestuck fanfic for a brief time! I’m still stupid proud of this one though.)
Ghosts, Goths and Other Anxieties (original short story) (I swear I’ll get back to posting the big bang version soon)
Finality (This one’s so old but I guess people still like their tendershipping! I mean, same~)
4. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
I do try to respond to everything! I so appreciate when other authors respond to me and do my best to return that good good energy. Also I genuinely like chatting with people (especially about something I wrote lol) even if I get overwhelmed sometimes and can be slow ^^; 
5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
This is a tough one cause when I start a story, it’s usually with the goal of giving the characters a happy end but it’s probably Coffee and Cigarettes. It was for a pairings competition where the random pairing was Mana/TK Bakura and I gave them a weird little break in the middle of canon where they both know what’s about to happen and it just came out sad.  NO WAIT I’M WRONG. Lol I just gave my story list another look and it’s definitely Crazy for You! That was an insane asylum AU that’s ABOUT everything going straight to shit.
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
Oh goodness, almost all of them! I love a happy ending. Like, the story doesn’t have to be all fluff, it can have an impossible looking problem or be about two people who just don’t go well together but I love a good, satisfying resolution. Most recent happy ending is No Betting, just a bit of adorable, domestic, peachshipping fluff. Favorite happy end is probably A Million Missed Chances, Mai/Valon. I feel like Mai is a challenging character to give a happy ending to. She’s just stubborn like that <3
7. Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?
So, I haven’t written a crossover yet by myself but @miss-moberg and I will often throw around ideas for ones where we will use YGO characters or parts of the world building or magic system to fix things we don’t like in other canons. Right now we have a RP that’s a BNHA/YGO crossover where… oh, spoilers for BNHA: instead of going crazy and faking his own death, Toya grabs both his brothers and just fucking leaves. They run away to Domino, get picked up by Ryou and Akeifa (TK Bakura) and it quickly becomes the found family story I didn’t know I needed. We do some wild things blending the two canons. Domino is this little pocket where shadow magic keeps the hero and villain nonsense out and the citizens are pretty ok with it. Yugi and Atem are the city’s guardians. Ryou and Akeifa are not allowed to use shadow magic though they have access to it. I think Ryou and Yugi had proper quirks that they sacrificed to the shadows at some point, each for something different thing that they wanted or needed. Oh! We have quirks being derived from shadow magic at some point in the distant past and the shadows are always happy to take a quirk back to fulfill a wish or desire. They’re tricky though and usually corrupting. Very classic fairytale where it’s a thing you don’t want to make a deal with. Seto is quirkless and basically runs the city behind the scenes. He can’t deny the existence of heroes and villains but still refuses to believe in magic. This always gives Atem a headache when they have to coordinate to protect the city. Which is often.
8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
A couple criticisms but no outright hate I don’t think. Or if I have it was so long ago I don’t remember. I was on ff.net at the worst times too and somehow all the hate just passed me by.
9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?
I love smut so much but I rarely write it. For stories I just usually end up with one or two erotic sentences. RPs are the exceptions to that though and are where all the good stuff happens. >.>
10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Nope. Haven’t had one stolen, haven’t had one taken down. I’ve stayed small enough to fly under the radar for both things luckily enough!
11. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I wish! Man that would be amazing <3
12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yes! Ryou and the Thief is a cleaned up version of @miss-moberg and my very first RP. (And the only RP of ours to ever hit an actual ending.)
13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
Puzzle with Gemshipping very close behind though I ship many, many things.
14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
Phoenix. It was one of my very first fanfics started almost 15 years ago and while I’d love to finish everything, that one’s just not going to happen. It’s been too long and I’ve grown way too much as a writer to go back to it now.
15. What are your writing strengths?
I think it’s dialogue. And maybe the ability to be amusing. Not funny-funny but like, lightly humorous when setting scenes or winding up to something.
16. What are your writing weaknesses?
RUN ON SENTENCES. Sometimes they get away from me a bit XD
17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
Haaaa, actually when I first started writing fanfic I would throw in Japanese phrases and honorifics and looking back, it’s pretty cringe. BUT I can appreciate it as it was originally intended: learning and practicing a new language. If it makes sense for the character or situation though it’s really cute, like in Allargando by Slaycinder where Atem uses Arabic endearments for Seto. (Have I gushed about that fic on my blog yet? It’s so good.) Ancient Egyptian is the exception to everything I just said. I absolutely LOVE when someone takes a stab at putting ancient Egyptian in their fic. I go a little feral for it and it was the hardest but the most fulfilling thing about writing Ryou and the Thief was doing all the research write actual AE dialogue for Akeifa early in the fic.
18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Yu-Gi-Oh. I’ve done a handful of things for other fandoms but Ygo is the one I keep coming back to and definitely the one I’ve written the vast majority for.
19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
Oh no this is hard! They’re all my babies and I love them! Probably my favorites have been listed in previous questions already. Ryou and the Thief because of the sheer amount of work that went into it and the fact that we ran the boys through a whole ass adventure, Coffee and Cigarettes because it’s such a fun, quirky little thing with a great atmosphere and Those Things He Keeps For Himself because I feel like I was able to really capture the idea in my head effectively and there’s some great imagery in it.
TAGGING:  Oh my god this took me so long to finally sit down and complete that probably everyone I would tag has done it already!  So not tagging anyone this time but please do it if it seems fun!
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With A Little Help From My Friends
For @chaosintheavenue ‘s Fallout Mini-bang Event! I worked with the insanely talented and awesome @paladinthrockmorton for the event, please check their blog out! 
Game: Fallout 2
Characters: Chosen One OC, Goris, Lenny, Marcus, Sulik, Vic, New Khans, Darion
Summary: The Chosen One and his crew are headed to the Squat to try and get access to Vault 15, both on request of the NCR and to try and find the fabled Vault 13. On the way, they run into a strange, cloaked man, wandering through the desert alone.
(Read it on AO3 here if you prefer: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27857697)
Without further ado, here is ‘With A Little Help From My Friends’!
Two hundred years of sand, stubborn enough to not have shifted from its spot, flew out of the way of the car tires as the Highwayman sped past. The people of California were used to strange sights in the post-apocalypse; massive mutants, zombie-like people and reluctant heroes with a purpose, but seeing all of those crammed into an antique car, darting through the desert, was another sight altogether.
Add in that they were all wearing scavenged sunglasses, slowing down each time they passed travellers on the road to let them ogle, occasionally leaping out to shoot molerats, and the spectacle was certainly unique. Marcus was wedged in the back between Vic and Sulik, with Lenny sat up front, silently pleased of winning shotgun simply by being the only one who knew how to drive and teaching the car’s owner. The driver himself was Theo, far from his home in Arroyo, and loving the freedom of his car. Lenny was very glad there was hardly anything to run over out here, though.
They were headed to Vault 15, travelling East from NCR, with maybe only another couple of hours to go. The end of Theo’s grand quest was so near, if the stories were to be believed. As soon as he dealt with the squatters, and accessed the Vault’s computer system, he could find Vault 13, where he’d finally get the GECK to save his village. Victory was so close he could almost taste it.
A hooded figure at the side of the road caught his attention as the car shot past, too fast for the stranger to have really appreciated his beloved car. So Theo braked and reversed it to meet back up with them, rolling down his window and keeping his car going at a crawl to match the hunched stranger’s shuffling pace.
“Beautiful day today!” Theo called out cheerfully. The stranger lifted their head, but Theo couldn’t spot their face through the cloak.
“Ideal weather for a stroll,” the stranger agreed, an unusual tone to his voice that Theo couldn’t quite place. Theo scrunched up his face; sure, at this time of year the desert was somewhat cooler, but an aimless stroll in this heat was never a good idea, and who went strolling this far away from civilisation?
“What do you mean, a stroll? You’re days of walking from anywhere, mate,” Theo pointed out. The stranger seemed to shrug under his cloak.
“Oh, don’t worry about me. I’m heading to NCR, but I may have gotten lost on the way,” the stranger gave an odd sort of laugh. Theo bit his lip; this stranger barely looked able to walk properly, never mind fight off any threats out here.
“Uh, you know there’s rumours about deathclaws roaming around these parts, right?” Theo asked. “Big, sharp fellows, could rip a super mutant apart in a jiffy?”
“Oh yes. Perfectly agreeable fellows, always keen for a reasonable debate,” the stranger replied, his tone so solemn that it was difficult to tell if it was a joke or not. Lenny shot a look of concern at Theo; who would want to debate a deathclaw?
“M-maybe he’s been out in the sun too long?” Lenny suggested quietly, to which Theo sighed. Of course he’d run into someone needing help out here, didn’t he always? Curse his good nature.
“Hey, we’re running some errands first, but we’ll be heading to NCR after. Want a lift?” Theo asked. The stranger paused, peering into the car, where Marcus waved back.
“It seems crowded in there already. I wouldn’t want to be a bother.”
“Nonsense. Lenny, jump in the back, will ya?”
Theo stopped the car, giving Lenny time to squeeze in between Sulik and Marcus while the stranger settled into the empty front seat. His cloak sat strangely around his body, hanging too long at the arms, and the bottoms were scruffed up from dragging along the floor. The stranger took a moment to get comfortable, as if they weren’t used to sitting in seats. Well, car seats anyway. Theo held out his hand.
“Call me Theo. What do I call you?”
“My name is Goris, I’m a travelling scholar,” Goris nodded slightly, but didn’t shake Theo’s hand, “Forgive the robe, but genetics hasn’t been kind to me. I tend to scare people.”
“Well, you’re in good company here,” Theo laughed, shifting the car into gear. “Hold onto your hood Goris, this baby’s got speed.”
The car sped across the desert like a bullet, Goris desperately holding down his hood while the wind roaring through the open windows tried to blow it off. Marcus offered him a bottle of water at one point, but Goris declined it, seemingly too enraptured by the speed they were travelling at.
The drive was peaceful; they didn’t run into any further trouble on the way. Goris was keen to talk to all of them, asking about each of the towns they came from and grilling them for questions on their histories. Soon they came across the spot that Tandi had marked out for them, the squatter camp located just outside the Vault that was stopping NCR from gaining access. Theo offered to let Goris stay in the car, but the draw of possibly learning the history of the squatter camp pulled him from it.
The Squat, as Tandi had referred to the camp, was a squalid little shanty town bordered by trees, made up of tents and inhabited by nervous looking locals. The tents were weather beaten and worn, the tears spoke of years of being dragged down in a hurry, with patches sloppily sewn into place where the tears had become holes. The greyed out colour of what could possibly be the original fabric was mostly covered by the patches, the only hint it had once covered the whole tent being it’s unusual material and how often it was seen on separate tents. But mostly, the tents looked old, as if they’d been standing when the bombs, and still stood out of sheer determination. At the far side stood a more permanent building than the tents, still crumbling and falling apart. The roof was more of an old umbrella than something to keep out all weather. It was bordered by a rough forest gnarled trees, with a guard patrolling them.
The squatters, dressed in clothes only slightly younger than the tents themselves, watched them closely as they made their way to the permanent building, keeping a distance from the strangers. Theo waved at a child staring slack jawed, only for their mother to whisk them away.
“Don’t you just love a warm welcome, boss?” Vic deadpanned under his breath.
The only permanent building in the camp seemed like the best place to try and find someone who was in charge. Theo knocked on the door, and let himself in, only to narrowly dodge a rock that flew at him.
“Oh no, not dealing with you NCR lot today. Out!” a man on the other side of the door yelled at them. Theo picked up the rock and glared back.
“Hey arsehole, your rock nearly hit my head,” he called out, “Learn to aim, dipshit!”
“I told you to leave. We don’t want your kind around here,” the man insisted Theo tossed the rock back to Marcus, who crushed it between his hands while the man watched, slack jawed and terrified.
“You don’t want to make an enemy of us, old man,” Theo warned. The old man staggered backwards, “good thing we don’t want a fight you. We’ll come back later when you’re in a more agreeable mood,” Theo slammed the door behind him, taking a step back before yelling. “Arseholes! This wasteland has two types of people in it; arseholes, and people who want something from me!”
“What does that make us, boss?” Vic asked in mock offence. Theo rolled his eyes.
“Oh don’t get me started. You needed to be rescued from slavers. You,” Theo pointed at Sulik, “needed a debt paid off. You,” Theo pointed at Marcus, “Needed a murder solving and your mine fixing. You,” Theo pointed at Goris, then faltered. Technically, Goris hadn’t asked for his help at all, “Well, I’m sure you’re just here for the car ride. And Lenny,” Theo turned to point at Lenny, only to find him missing. “Wait, where’s Lenny?”
Everyone else looked around in bewilderment; none of them had noticed him leaving at all, and there were no signs of Lenny anywhere. With a resigned sigh, Theo started to wander between the tents, lifting heavy flaps and yelling Lenny’s name under each one, much to the ire of the squatters within. He eventually found Lenny quietly talking with an older lady, who looked terrified.
“Oh Lenny, did you round a corner too quickly and scare people again?” Theo asked with a mock tone of concern to his voice.
“Her d-daughter’s m-missing, possibly kidnapped.” Lenny stated. All mirth drained from Theo’s face in an instant, as his hand went to his gun. Hero time.
“Your daughter, do you have any idea where she might be?” Theo asked. The lady glanced between Lenny and Theo, biting her lip.
“There’s people in the vault, just East of here. Chrissy’s too adventurous for her own good, I was always catching her trying to sneak out there. The people don’t want us going anywhere near there, so maybe they--”
“Hang on,” Theo interrupted her, quietly stepping back towards the tent flap, dragging it away just in time to see someone rush away from the tent.
“Were they listening?” The woman asked in horror. Theo gave chase as Lenny tried to reassure her but had lost track of the person by the time Theo rounded the tent corner. Instead Theo ran up to the rest of his crew.
“Did someone just run past?”
“Someone just passed that guard over there,” Vic pointed to a guard stood by the edge of the trees, “why?”
Without answering, Theo turned and lead the way towards the forest. The guard, patrolling the outskirts, caught up with them, stopping Theo in his tracks.
“You might want to turn around stranger, there’s nothing to see here.” She said.
“What are you guarding?” Theo asked, standing up on his tip toes to try and see over the guard’s shoulder. She stood up taller to block him again.
“I’m not guarding anything, just making sure no-one wanders off this way.”
“Then why not guard the way into the desert that way?” Theo pointed to the far side of the Squat.
“Why do you care anyway?”
“A young girl has been kidnapped. D-did you see someone pass by here?” Lenny asked. The guard stopped for a minute, looking torn.
“…Yes, they did. Do you think they’re linked to it?”
“Almost definitely.”
The guard sighed, running a hand through her hair and looking back through the trees, before finally coming to a conclusion. “Look, I don’t want any trouble. They hired me to stop anyone passing through after they had troubles with the girl snooping, I’m not with the people that took her, honest. You can go through. Just, don’t tell them I let you in, and save Chrissy, okay?”
Theo gave her a wink and took the lead through the copse of trees, more dense than any forest in a desert had a right to be. But the branches looked gnarled and dead, as if whatever had let them grow in the first place had run its magic and left them to suffer alone. At some point, this place must have been verdant, but now it was as worn down and withered as the Squat itself, a fitting nest for the camp. Theo ran a hand down the bark out of curiosity, pulling away large chunks effortlessly.
The trees thinned out again, marking the edge of the small forest, and bringing into view a shack  that stood in a clearing near a wall of rocks that boasted a poorly hidden metal door. Another guard, this time wearing armour unlike any Theo had ever seen, leant against the shack wall, smoking a cigarette. He stared at the crowd, removed the cigarette and rubbed it out against the wall behind him as Theo marched closer, laser pistol in hand.
“The fuck do you want?” The man snarled.
“We’re looking for a missing girl, do you know anything about that?” Theo asked. The man eyed up Theo with a look of disdain.
“Maybe we do? What are you gonna do about it?” He taunted.
“You’re looking at a crew with a supermutant and asking what we’ll do about it? I’ll give you three fucking guesses. Where’s Chrissy?” Theo demanded, gripping his laser pistol tighter.
“As if I’d give her over that easily to a little punk like you. Nah, we can have some fun with her yet.” The guard teased.
“Up yours and eat a bullet breakfast, arsehole.” Theo snapped, getting a lucky quick shot that hit the man straight in his eye. His body slumped against the wall as footsteps from inside the house rushed towards the door, unlocking it.
“What’s--” The woman that appeared didn’t even get a chance to finish her sentence as Marcus aimed his minigun at her, tearing her apart in a flurry of guts. Once the gun stopped spinning, Theo rushed over to the body, searching for the keys and pulling them out with triumph. Meanwhile, Vic and Sulik rushed into the house, weapons at the ready, checking each room was empty.
“There’s a locked door at the back!” Vic called out. Theo rushed to meet up with him, quickly unlocking the door, only for it to fly open in his face as a teenage girl rushed out, kicking Vic in the groin and making for the front door, to find it inadvertently blocked by Marcus and Goris.
“Chrissy, I presume?” Theo called after her, holding his bleeding nose. “Your mom sent us.”
///////////////////
“The mayor’s quite nice when he’s not throwing rocks at me, isn’t he?” Theo snickered, spinning the key card in his fingers as they headed back to the shack. Chrissy’s mother had been overjoyed that she’d been returned safely and convinced the man in charge to let Theo’s crew deal with the raiders in the vault on their behalf. The ones that had taken Chrissy were just the surface crew, and had been paying the squatters in ill-gotten gains to keep the NCR away, but if he could get rid of the raiders, who called themselves ‘New Khans’, then maybe they’d deal with the NCR again. Well, at least he was getting into the vault now. Even if it was to help someone else again, “why is the name ‘New Khans’ so familiar anyway?”
It was mostly a rhetorical question, but the rest of his group looked baffled by it. Clearly it wasn’t for them.
“I think I’ve heard locals speak of some old rivalry between a raider gang and the NCR, maybe this is the raider gang?” Goris suggested.
“Maybe.” Theo agreed quietly. Maybe another of his grandfather’s adventures involved the Khans, and he was just keeping up with family tradition. “Hey, Goris, you don’t need to come with us, you know. We’re going to wipe out a raider camp, it’ll likely get a little hairy and I can’t promise we can cover for you.”
“Oh, you needn’t worry about that. I can handle myself.” Goris assured him. Theo couldn’t keep the doubt from his face.
“They’ll be armed, and deadly. We can come get you after we clear it if you’re desperate to look around the vault, you know.” Theo tried again.
“Thank you, but I am more than capable of keeping myself safe. I do usually wander the wastes alone. I would like to return your kindness from earlier.” Goris insisted.
“Well, alright. It’s your funeral.” Theo shrugged and swiped the keycard in a slot in the door, stepping back and watching the rusted old door slowly open with an ear piercing creak. Beyond it lay a cave lit by primitive torches. With a small wave to tell them to keep quiet, Theo led the way in, running a hand against the wall to keep on track if the torches went out. The rocks were dark dry, but sturdy, Theo couldn’t pull out any stones with his bare fingers; a sensible choice to build a vault in, he supposed. The deeper they went, the darker it got; the rocks seeming to absorb light, until, more often than not, Theo couldn’t even see his own hand brushing against the walls through the blackness. Very easy for the raiders to hide in.
“Who the fuck are you?” Came a sudden bark from further in the cave, causing Theo to jump, hand reaching for his laser pistol. Damnit, he could barely even see down here, never mind shoot. He needed a different plan.
“Uh, new recruit?” He hazarded.
“Oh, right, yeah. Go on in.” The Khan replied. Barely believing his luck, Theo stepped forward, still holding his pistol ready, but the Khan didn’t react, just waved him and his oddly shaped entourage along. “You’ll want to see Darion, he’s on the bottom level.”
“Darion, got it.” Theo nodded. Past a turn, the cave opened up somewhat, with more torches giving him a better view of it. He recognised the vault door, almost identical in design to the one on Vault 8, except this one lay discarded on the floor, far past repair. Some more Khans stood around in the cave, chatting, paying him little attention. They made their way through the empty doorway and through the halls of the vault. It stank of rust, and the lights didn’t seem to work, the same torches from within the cave illuminating the metal hallways with only marginally more success. This vault had long been abandoned; it didn’t have the crisp, clean, almost sterile look to it like Vault 8 had; this was beyond disrepair, it was a health hazard; a tetanus epidemic just waiting to happen. They tried to avoid touching the walls as much as possible as they headed to the old elevator, barely squeezing everyone in.
“We suspect a trap.” Sulik warned.
“Definitely. Hands on guns, everyone, and expect a fight. Got enough ammo, Goris?”
“Don’t worry, I always travel fully armed.” Goris assured him, adjusting his robes but not pulling out a gun.
The lift itself was slow, rickety. It shook and creaked down the levels, and once it stopped the doors crept open. Marcus exited, minigun first, checking the surrounding corridors before signalling everyone else to follow him. It was eerily quiet down here, except for the muffled dull thud of a leak and the gentle crackle of the torches along the walls. Theo headed towards the Overseer’s room, past many closed doors that his companions checked behind him. The door was shut, and when the button was pressed, it opened much faster than it should in a place this ruined.
Beyond the door was pitch black; no torches, no lights, and no sound, as if someone had scared away anything that could make noise. As if the room was holding its breath.
Theo took a step back, ready to leave before the trap was sprung, but his companions hadn’t seen it, and continued walking, knocking him further into the room. The creaky hiss of pistons behind him told him that the door had shut them in, and the torches lit up around the room, highlighting jeering faces and glinting off of weapons. Too many Khans to count surrounded them, each armed to the teeth and ready to shoot. They were surrounded, and outnumbered, and hopelessly outgunned. One khan, an old man, stepped forward, hatred written across his face, sizing Theo up. “You look just like him, that damned Vault Dweller.”
“Yeah, I get that a lot.” Theo shrugged, trying to look for a way out. But the only way other than the locked door was further into the vault, and they didn’t have emergency exits. Damn. “Are you Darion? Wouldn’t want to waste my ammo.”
“The one and only. I have waited eighty years for my revenge against the NCR. Getting to kill a man that looks like their attack dog is the icing on top.”
“Would a distraction help?” Goris asked quietly. Theo had absolutely no idea what the shuffling scholar had in mind, but anything would be better than nothing right now, so he nodded, not straying from Darion’s gaze.
“You couldn’t kill my grandad back then, and I won’t be killed now. Guess you’ll just have to wait a little longer.” Theo bragged. Darion opened his mouth to speak, but his eyes widened and his jaw dropped instead, as he and his two bodyguards stumbled backwards in shock, a scream tearing from their throats. Theo turned to look where they were staring.
Only to see a deathclaw stood next to him.
Theo stumbled back as the deathclaw threw itself towards the nearest Khan, giving an almighty roar that rattled Theo’s skull. It swept its claws across their helmet, sending it scattering across the floor, the second hand following shortly after, leaving deep gashes down the raider’s face that flooded with blood.
The Khans had stopped screaming and were aiming their guns now, some at the deathclaw, some at Theo and his friends. Theo pulled out his own laser pistol and aimed for Darion’s eyes.
Darion collected himself, and in turn faced Theo, narrowly dodging the laser shot and returning with a flash of fire from his flamethrower. Theo jumped back just in time, the searing heat flashing against his face, and firing another laser at Darion, hitting his shoulder.
A burst of bullets behind Darion hit the man with a yell as one of his guards, in blind panic over the approaching deathclaw, accidentally fired at Darion instead.
“Watch where you’re shooting!” Darion yelled back, giving Theo the window to fire again, getting Darion square in the side of his face, knocking him down to the floor.
The deathclaw had thrown the guard to the wall and leapt instead at Darion, landing on the man’s shoulders before swiping his head clean off in one fell swoop.
Theo backpedalled as quick as his legs could take him, but the deathclaw didn’t even look at him, just threw itself horns first at another khan.
Theo hit a second khan in the crotch, felling the man just in time for the deathclaw to catch him across the neck, before turning to where Lenny stood. Theo went to shout out a warning to Lenny, but the deathclaw had already sprung.
And completely missed Lenny, instead taking down a khan stood behind him that was aiming a shot.
Sulik took down one of the raiders guarding the door, the heavy thud of his supersledge against the raider’s skull making Theo wince as Sulik yelled for the rest of them to retreat.
Vic and Lenny did so quickly; Marcus and Theo backed off while aiming at the remaining Khans, who’d all but ignored them in favour of trying to take down the deathclaw, with little hope. It was too fast, too strong.
By the time Theo reached the door, no Khans were left standing. Just the deathclaw in the centre of the room, breathing heavily and covered in blood. Marcus raised his minigun, getting it ready to fire, while Theo did a quick head count.
Vic, Sulik, Lenny, Marcus… where was Goris? Had he been injured? Theo quickly glanced around the room, but the only sign of him was his robe, discarded on the floor where Goris had last stood. Beside Theo. Where the deathclaw had--
Theo shoved Marcus’ arm just in time to redirect the bullets away from the deathclaw, who had now turned to face them. Lenny and Vic had their guns trained on it, while Marcus shot Theo a dirty look, having just wasted an entire magazine on the wall.
“I would appreciate it if you didn’t point your guns at me, thank you.” The deathclaw said casually. The shock very nearly caused Vic and Lenny to drop their guns entirely.
“What evil spirit is this that talks to us?” Sulik demanded in horror.
“It’s fine guys, lower your guns.” Theo tried to assure them, barely keeping the quiver from his voice. He stepped forward cautiously, picking up Goris’ robe. “So, uh, why didn’t you tell us you were a deathclaw?”
A gasp behind him told him someone else had figured it out too. “To be fair, you didn’t ask.” Goris pointed out. Theo had never been this close to a deathclaw, nor had he ever wanted to be. Those thick, grey scales almost seemed to glow in the torchlight, giving an ethereal look to Goris, so different to the sandy coloured scales he’d seen on the deathclaws they’d raced away from in the car. And those legendary claws, thick as a radius bone and sharper than a sword, and blood red after the fight; most waste landers thought it was a good life if they’d never seen one at all, nevermind gotten up close and personal with them. Goris didn’t move, just watched Theo with dark red eyes that didn’t blink anywhere near as often as a human’s did. Theo stepped closer still, every instinct screaming to run, not getting close enough to be in Goris’ reach, and held out the robe for Goris to take, glad it covered his wobbling legs. He didn’t have reason to be afraid, did he? This was still Goris, the desert weirdo who thought debating with deathclaws was-- oh wait.
Goris slowly took the robe back from Theo, giving a quick thanks and quickly putting it back on and deftly retying the cord around the waist. Once the hood was up, he looked the same as before, but Theo could spot all the little details that would give him away, now that he knew what to look for. The hood sitting too far forward from his horns, the overlong sleeves hiding his claws, the way it trailed to cover every inch of him.
“Clever disguise.” Theo complimented, feeling a bit more comfortable now that Goris had hidden himself. “Wish I could do that. Where’d you learn to talk and not kill humans on sight, then?”
“Um, the lift is rattling.” Lenny pointed out, bringing Theo back to the vault again. Right, the other Khans would’ve heard the commotion, and were no doubt on their way to find out what had happened. He pushed his way through the doorway, reaching the corner leading to the corridor for the lift and peering around it. No doubt about it, the lift was in motion.
“What’s the plan then?” Theo asked.
“Going in guns blazing isn’t good enough for you this time?” Marcus smirked.
“No, ‘cause we’ve always got the element of surprise on our side now.” Theo grinned back at Goris. He was still keeping his distance, and everyone else keeping their distance from him in turn, still unsettled by the deathclaw in the room.
“There’s a room just inside this corridor, if I hide in there I can jump out behind them too.” Goris suggested.
“Right. We’ll take cover here.” Theo agreed.
“I think I’ll go with Goris. I don’t do ‘hide and shoot’.” Marcus raised his gun for emphasis.
Goris and Marcus hid in the room, Goris’ tail flicking out with every step now he wasn’t shuffling everywhere, while Theo and Lenny hid behind the far wall, Vic and Sulik by the near. The lift stopped with a ‘ding’, the doors slowly creeped open, and footsteps cautiously marched out.
Theo nodded to Vic, pointing their pistols around the corner, hitting the front two raiders blindly. They gasped out, firing back while everyone pushed themselves against the wall, holding their breaths for what they knew was about to come.
Sure enough, with a loud thud against the metal floors and an almighty roar, Goris jumped into the battle, and they leapt out from hiding. The Khans were too busy screaming at the deathclaw behind them to see their attackers in front of them, and they fell quickly to a hail of bullets, lasers, hammers and claws.
But the lift continued to rattle regardless.
“More Khans?” Marcus asked.
“Ready for round two, everyone?” Theo asked with a smile. Oh, he could get used to this.
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emikaelsonimagines · 3 years
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Rules and Guidelines
Hello All,
First of all, welcome to the blog! If you’re here, it’s because you share a love of Elijah Mikaelson, and I’m so glad that you’ve chosen to come and pursue my imagines; it honestly means the world! Now to the point.
I’ve decided to put some rules and guidelines in place just to make your lives on this blog, and my life as a writer, just that little bit easier. Please follow them to the best of your ability; I’d really appreciate it. Okay, here goes:
1. Are Requests Open?
In my bio, it will say in BIG CAPITAL LETTERS whether requests are open or not. If you can’t access the bio, it will also say it on the masterlist pages for each section in (you guessed it) BIG CAPITAL LETTERS. Please, please check before you request that they are open as I really don’t like turning people down unnecessarily.
2. What Scenarios Can I Request?
Almost anything, as long as it involves a platonic/romantic relationship between Elijah and the reader. It can be an imagine, a headcanon, a gif drabble, or part of a collection. However, please, please check that something similar to the scenario you want hasn’t been done already. I know it’s a lot of imagines to read, so don’t worry if you can’t check, but if you can, that would be great!
3. Is This Is A Smutty Blog?
Yes, there is smut on this blog but they have been labelled accordingly on the masterlist. I’m not a massive fan of writing full on smut, so usually go for a more suggestive style where I can, but I’ll still put a warning in the author’s note so you can move on if that’s not your thing. When it comes to gif drabbles, please don’t send me a nsfw gif, because it will be deleted instantly. Also, if you’re under 18 and you come across something labelled smut, please don’t read it. Of course, I can’t stop you, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t read something smutty when you’re underage.
4. Why Don’t You Reply To My Comments?
This is a side blog, which means when I reply to comments on my work, it comes under my main blog, which some of you might not know about (it might look like a random person is thanking you for work that isn’t theirs!) I read all of your comments, and am equally thankful for all of them. I usually try and respond with a direct message to anyone who comments, but if I don’t reply to yours, please don’t be offended. I’m just really forgetful when it comes to that stuff. But, again, I would like to thank you all for all your amazing comments!
5. Part Two?
Okay, so there’s a few imagines where people have asked for second parts in the comments or through reblogs. When I write something, it’s very rare that I do so with a part two in mind, so am always flattered when it’s asked. However, from now on, if you want another part to something, please ask as you would any normal request. If it’s in the comments or through reblogs, I won’t count it as a request; even when it is requested, I still reserve the right to decline if it’s an imagine that I feel doesn’t need another part, or, as in some cases, feel that I won’t be able to do it justice.
6. Life On The Outside
Please, please bear with me when it comes to writing imagines. I’m a 22 year old with a full time 9-5 Monday to Friday job, with the possibility of an actual book deal in sight (and by that I mean I’m in discussion with certain people about how I get myself a literary agent). This also means that I have my own book to finish, and as this is the career I’ve wanted since I was 4, it is a bit of a priority. I also have a home life of my own, including spending time with my family, and doing other things that I enjoy. To end on a bit of a bum note, I suffer from anxiety and am on multiple treatments, so sometimes, may not be in the mood to write when I originally planned. Thank you all for understanding.
7. Other Blogs
So, as some of you may be aware, I do have a Klaus blog @nmikaelsonimagines​ and a Kol blog @kmikaelsonimagines​, both of which I write on regularly. This does mean that not all of my time is dedicated to this one, unfortunately, and the requests can pile up. From now on, if my requests close after being open for what might seem like such a short period of time, it’s because I’ve reached my limit on one of my blogs. This limit is now 15. Basically, if I get 15 requests on one blog, I’ve reached the point where I feel like I’m struggling to keep up, and so will be closing requests across all 8 blogs until I’ve caught up.
8. Be Nice
I’ve been lucky enough in about 5 years of Tumblr to have experienced only one act hatred or negativity (which was then diffused instantly) and I intend to keep it that way. Please, please, be nice to each other; we’re all here because we share a common interest. If you guys ever feel like you need to talk about anything, or just need to get something off your chest, or perhaps even ask the most random question you can think of, please feel free to message me. I’m honoured that some of you already feel like you can talk to me about things, and I hope it continues.
9. Enjoy
And finally, please enjoy yourselves on this blog. It’s designed for that!
So, those are my rules and guidelines. Now you’ve read these, you’re well on your way to exploring the blog in all its glory!
Have fun!
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vlotd · 4 years
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More Altean thoughts
So, we know Allura’s earrings work as comm links. I’ve put this in fics before, but I believe her bracelets have a function as well. So, for V:LotD, here’s the thing about Altean jewelry (and some more thoughts on how they dress and why):
All Alteans have at least one crystal on them somewhere that stores a small amount of their quintessence. When they approach something - say a door that’s locked and only lets certain people in - the... machinery, for lack of a better term, reads the quintessence stored in the crystal. If that quintessence is allowed to access this device/enter this door, then the door will open/device will activate/etc. The crystals can also have other functions, depending on access. For example, maybe you’re allowed to enter This Door and access This Comm Link, but not That Door or That Comm Link ‘cause that’s for higher-ups. While you’re in the building, you can access the Communications Link that’s authorized for your quintessence, but once you leave the building, your access to that link shuts off; it’s only for work communication during work hours, let’s say.
(This is why, in season 1, Allura couldn’t hear Shiro fighting with Haggar until Hunk showed up to rescue her. When he came in, her earrings suddenly had access to the Paladin comm link again (she has access to ALL comm links regarding the paladins and the Castle - she’s the Princess). She and her earrings were, in essence, out of range (and possibly blocked; no doubt Haggar knew about this).)
Allura chooses to wear two crystals as her two earrings. Even if she loses one, she has a backup.
The bracelets are, as I wrote in the fic I linked above, her command bracelets. (She calls them ‘control’ bracelets in the fic, but I like command better now.) They allow her to use Castle systems anywhere in the Castle without being actually near the appropriate devices. (In the fic, her bracelets work more like the crystals I described just now; again, I wrote that a while ago and my thoughts have progressed some on this.)
When Klaizap approaches the Castle in season 1, Allura just waves one bracelet-ed hand through the air and not only silences the alarm but pulls up a screen so they can see the approaching “intruder.” This is something that would normally be done on the bridge, but she is, again, THE PRINCESS. She can access any Castle function from anywhere inside the Castle so long as she’s wearing those bracelets. (She does have to be inside, or just outside; as we saw in season 1, being shut out and on the other side of the Castle’s shield means she has no control over Castle operations.)
So while, yes, these are very pretty pieces of jewelry, as befits a princess, they also have practical applications. I believe that she chose for them to look this way deliberately. King Alfor could also control Castle functions from anywhere inside the ship, but his control device(s) didn’t look like bracelets, and his ID crystal didn’t look like earrings. Allura likes pretty (and sparkly!) things, and this also helps the items blend in a bit more and go unnoticed. (That’s also why the bracelet-like “bumps” on her wrist in her flight suit - I don’t think the control bracelets are literally in there, but I think that they provide the same functionality as the more decorative bracelets, as well as some other functions that we see in the paladin armors.)
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Now, I’ve spoken before about how I think Alteans (at least back in Allura’s and Coran’s day) were covered head to toe. Specifically, this: 
Alteans believe that showing skin (other than head and hands) when you’re above a certain age is very inappropriate. To bare one’s skin to someone (outside your family) is to make yourself vulnerable to them, and it shows a deep level of trust and intimacy. Thus, skin tight clothing may be fine, but showing actual SKIN is not. Coran wears gloves because, in his day, even showing hands was considered a bit racy. He’s old-fashioned, basically.
I hinted at the reasoning here, but I wanted to be clear about it. 
Alteans don’t have our religions. I believe there are Altean religions (we hear talk about old gods, after all), but I’m not sure that any of those religions dictate that you must cover up. And Alteans don’t have any qualms about skin tight clothing, obviously. 
The reason that Alteans cover their skin is that it protects you, at least to some degree. (We know that some Altean fabric/materials are very protective while still being form-fitting/skin tight: see Allura’s flight suit and the paladin under-armors.) Baring your skin makes you more vulnerable to attack. 
This is a culture that has literal children learning fighting skills. Maybe that’s just for royalty and/or military families, but the fact remains. With this sort of mindset, you wouldn’t open yourself to attack from a stranger. That’s why my idea of Alteans only bare their skin around family, very close friends, and romantic/sexual partners. That’s the “deep level of trust and intimacy,” being shown. “I trust you not to attack me,” sure. 
But also, “I am making myself vulnerable to you.” You can take that in lots of different ways (including in some that should be sent to my smut blog [ahem]), but for a race of people who can change what they look like on a whim, saying, “Here I am, my true self with no barriers or armor of any sort,” is a huge thing. You don’t just do that for anyone.
I doubt Coran and Allura think of it that way consciously. Kind of like how we don’t think about handshakes and how they originated as a way to prove to each other that we have no weapons. It’s just how it is. 
The fact that the Altean Diaspora Colony (in V:LotD) bares legs and arms regularly shows that (A) fashion has just moved on over time, and (B) they feel safe where they are, they trust everyone around them (and they trusted Lotor). 
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platypus-mcslothman · 3 years
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‘Well, at least we’re not America’ is a common phrase said by most people when political/racism issues or crises occur in UK. A phrase I am coming to discover is telling of how well the propaganda machines in our country work. The UK is wayyy more dysfunctional than America and allow me to detail but the surface level of known issues in our political sphere.
1. U.K. media ecosystem is… corrupt. Seriously, the older I get the more realise how not too dissimilar our media is to North Korea’s, except our media doesn’t work for the state primarily and will turn on it if it benefits them. You can look at how our media recently attacked Boris Johnson and then started pushing out puff pieces when he won a landslide in our local election for perfect proof
We’ve had phone hacking scandals, invasions of privacy, been accused of Nazi like language by the UN, have a state owned media outlet with political leaders heading it, anti-vaccine and now anti-lockdown narratives being pushed forward, think tanks owned by prominent right wing politicians and advisors being treated as unbiased think tanks, and more.
Our media landscape is predominately owned by 5 people. Rupert Murdoch (owner of Fox News) being one of the most prominent and also the closest to government.
The media in the UK is basically an attack dog for politics. It’s often been said no government will ever get into power without Rupert Murdoch on side.
It gets significantly worse when you begin to discover many prominent journalists are friends, god parents, spouses, and family members to our political elite. Heck, Boris Johnson (our Prime Minister) was originally a journalist for the spectator and telegraph (and an appalling one at that).
2. our police are well… corrupt. They’ve been involved in murdering civilians, brutally killing protestors and lying about killing them, feeding lies to the press about officers being hurt by protestors, assaulting journalists, and are involved in numerous conspiracies, and coincidentally were the only public service that didn’t receive defunding during and after thatcher’s era.
The most recent conspiracy involves the media too. A private detective called Daniel Morgan was suspect to have been murdered by two police officers with axes, who were originally investigating the crime, after he started investigating corruption in the police force. This case happened in the 90s and is now resurging after renewed interest. Strangely enough, the case Morgan was investigating later became known as the Phone Hacking scandal in the early 2000s.
Essentially the phone hacking scandal was the reveal that newspapers were hacking phones, wiretapping houses, and paying or blackmailing police officers to give them information about criminal cases. During this scandal it was also revealed newspapers were hiring PIs. More specifically the firm that Morgan worked for and even more specifically the suspected murderers who were fired from the police forces and were hired by Morgan’s old PI firm. You couldn’t make this up.
3. this is gonna be a running theme, but our politicians… corrupt. In a slew of scandals over decades, our politicians have been revealed to spend their work expenses on personal expenses (one politician bought a draw bridge for their manor, and many used them to buy second homes in London before selling them off at a profit during a housing crises), they accept other ‘jobs’ for private businesses (essentially a politician is payed thousands for a couple hours in an ‘advisory’ position), they’ve used tax havens (David Cameron, one of our prior PMs, is the most prominent example), they’ve lobbied after leaving their post (essentially they’re paid a lot of money to push for legislation changes that will profit a company which is quite easy to do when you have political connections, yet again David Cameron is a prominent example), and in the most recent disgusting display I present to you: the ‘my little crony’ model. A model that visually shows you the corruption in our pandemic expenditure.
https://www.sophie-e-hill.com/post/my-little-crony/
During the pandemic, our government bypassed competition laws to directly award contracts for PPE (Personal Protective Equipment), and test and trace. 25% of these contracts at minimum have since been deemed as questionable. They were awarded to businesses owned by politicians, politician’s family members, neighbours, friends, and political donors. Dyson was even revealed to have directly messaged Boris Johnson to change how taxes work so he could provide profitable ventilators when we were desperately short (which is worse when you consider Dyson didn’t deliver a single ventilator despite these changes). That’s not even an isolated story. There is a backlog of stories of strange and not suited businesses not providing PPE, not providing useable PPE, and being payed to make PPE at inflated costs. We’ve had sweet wrapper makers, jewellers, pubs, and a finance company that was only set up weeks before the contract being given these essential jobs in making and delivering PPE. The amount of money spent on these contracts is not yet fully known because documentation hasn’t been published fully, which is unlawful according to our Supreme Court’s findings.
In the pandemic we spent 37 billion on our test and trace app. The app was a failure and still is. It doesn’t contact people, a lot of data was lost because they were using an outdated Excel program to store data (which it didn’t store because Excel is not designed for that amount of data and severely outdated), and a lot people haven’t downloaded it because of trust issues caused by poor communication and initially designing the app to store data in a centralised location instead of in a means where the data can’t be accessed at a later date (as almost every other country did for trust reasons).
Now, 37 billion pounds is a very abstract number. Many don’t fully understand how much money that really is. Well, it could nationalise our entire electric grid in the UK. It’s 10% of the amount needed to end world hunger. It could end our housing crisis in the UK. and it was spent on an app that doesn’t work! Not to mention, the leader of test and trace is now being rumoured to be appointed the head of our national health service…
Heck, our PM was paid by one of his political donors to refurbish his temporary flat in Number 10 (our version of the White House). He spent £200,000 whilst he claimed our entire country didn’t have enough money to feed poor children during the pandemic. And even after he lost two fights with a footballer over the issue (yes, you heard that right), our government contracted a private company that provided inadequate amounts of weekly food. Below isn’t even the worst example.
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(Note this a contrast between the amount you could actually buy with money allocated by the government and the amount given by the private companies hired by the government. They took may as well have literally have took candy from a baby.)
Summary: the U.K. is worse than the US exactly because the people of our nation and kingdom don’t see the ridiculousness and corruption that takes place daily and historically.
We’ve had governments spying on trade unions and activists, we’ve had kids being brutalised by police officers because they attended or were thought to have attended a protest, we have a bill that now is trying to ban protest, we have a media ecosystem so disgustingly inadequate they don’t hold government to account, and we have politicians who claim they could live off minuscule amounts provided by the state to the poor and disabled whilst gourging on state paid meals at fancy restaurants where they spend more than that minuscule amount in a couple hours.
There’s so much wrong with my nation and kingdom, I honestly don’t have enough words nor the ability to accurately articulate how disgustingly corrupt it is. We are not the United Kingdom, we are the Corrupt Kingdom. I could go on and fucking on about how unjust, untruthful, and immoral my nation is. I don’t like that, but I also am not going to be patriotic about a nation that kills the poor and disabled by not providing support, allowing a virus to ravage our society by not putting the needs many before the needs of the few, and who claims we can’t spend money on society whilst spending lucrative amounts on idiotic selfish things.
Further reading/references:
youtube
youtube
(this is my blog, I haven’t posted here in a while)
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woozibby · 4 years
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Control | Jihoon | Part 3
a.n. originally posted on my shared blog- i’m now moving everything here to my main blog.
Last | 3 | Next
You stared blankly at the turned off tv and you continuously clicked the play and pause button on the cassette. You were alone- again, with your mind racing at what left like a million miles per second.
Click Click Click
With every click, you blinked. It was as if you could feel your mind going into madness. You could feel yourself falling down the rabbit hole. Mingyu said to be yourself, to draw whatever came naturally- easy said for someone who should have been an artist himself instead of working for the mafia.
“Just express how you feel even if it only makes sense to you”
“Just do what you normally do, just be good at being you”
Mingyu’s words replayed in your brain. It was like a cycle, you click the button twice and wondering if this madness you were feeling was real before his voice appears in your mind.
“Just express how you feel even if it only makes sense to you”
“Just do what you normally do, just be good at being you”
What you were good at was; computers, hacking, finding out information that was hidden from public view, finding secret food coupons for ordering food online. Just computer and tech stuff in general.
You repeated the process again. That was until your eyes shot to the cassette player, then to the old tv. Maybe, just maybe you could make something that would create a pathway to the online world. Mingyu told you to do what you were good at, so this just happened to be the way of doing it, but Jihoon’s voice also played in your head.
‘They’re to keep you safe’
The rules. No internet access. No tech to begin with. Everyone apart from Jihoon, Wonwoo and Mingyu must believe you were dead. It was to keep not only yourself safe but to help with protecting the tech.
As you were the person who overran everything tech wise, only you knew about all of it. Wonwoo knew what he needed to know as the leader, Mingyu and Minghao knew whatever they knew- Minghao seemly picked up more whereas it just confused Mingyu a whole lot- as they were the ones that ‘bugged’ you the most and well Jihoon… Jihoon didn’t know anything about how the tech worked on your side, but he knew how to keep you safe and he knew how to kill without being detected.
The tv and the cassette tape together wouldn’t be enough, you needed to find a way to get something else. A phone perhaps, even if it barely worked on its own- something that you could put together.
And yes, maybe it wouldn’t work at all, but what was the point if you couldn’t have a go at it. Clicking the button again, you left it on for a while, the starting drum beats made you instantly facepalm.
“Mingyew you fucking idiot!”
It was late- well early, when you got woken up by Jihoon getting home. Pulling the covers off of your body, you stumble your way to the kitchen where the light from the fridge is illuminating the whole room.
“Jihoon?” You yawned, covering your mouth with your hand as the other ran through your hair. He jumped slightly as he let out a sigh, turning to face you.
“You made me jump” You giggled, smiling.
“I could tell”
Your eyes scanned him, his black hair was stuck up and his forehead was on show. His waistcoat was unbuttoned, speckles of red were across his collar. He smirked, closing the fridge after he picked himself up a drink.
“You should be asleep”  You shrugged, your eyes continuing to stay on him as he took the few steps closer to you.
“I would be if someone didn’t wake me up” He chuckles, stopping right in front of you.
“Well that’s a shame now isn’t” You tilted your head up partly.
“It is!” He chuckled again, placing his hand on your chin to make sure you were looking at him.
“Well, go back to sleep, I’m sorry for waking you up” You stared at him and he kept his hand on your chin.
“It’s okay” You mumbled, your voice came out soft and you blinked. “I missed you anyways” He smiled, moving his hand to move a piece of your hair and tuck it behind your ear.
“You missed me? that’s adorable” You scoffed, rolling your eyes. You broke whatever trance you were in and turned your head away.
“I’m not trying to be adorable, I’m telling the truth” You spoke, letting a sigh escape your lips. “It’s lonely here”
You could feel his eyes on you like he was trying to read you- he was reading you. Over the weeks, even if he wasn’t there that often he had learnt how to read you, he had learnt to read you better than you could read yourself.
“I’m sorry I’m not here as often as I should be,” He says.
Neither of you moved, neither of you wanted to move. The soft and silent intake and releases of air in a strange way comforted you both. After a moment, you turned your head, your eyes went to the blood on his collar.
“I thought you were good at your job” You giggled slightly, pulling at his collar. “But you always seem to get in a mess” He looked down at your hand and chuckled.
“Well, sometimes it’s fun to have a trace, you should know this since you’re a hacker” Jihoon raises an eyebrow as his eyes go to you. You pushed your lips into a thin line as you send a blank look to him.
“It’s stupid, what if something went wrong and you got caught or something?” You questioned, jabbing him with your finger.
“That won’t happen, I’m not stupid, you have to remember, I’m a professional, I know how things go and I know how to do and not do things” Jihoon sighed, grabbing your hand and stopping you from jabbing him. “Nothing will happen to me or you as long as we keep things going the way they are”
You stayed silent. His hand stayed around yours and briefly you felt as if you could feel his energy moulding with your own. You moved your hand so your fingers tangled together with his.
“So nothing is going to go wrong?” You ask, he hums, nodding his head.
“As long as neither of us does something stupid” He asserted. It was as if it were a warning, he was warning you. Don’t do something stupid, don’t break what thing we have going on right now.
“Will either of us do something stupid though? We don’t need Seungcheol finding either of us” You lied and Jihoon raised an eyebrow.
You knew what you were going to do was stupid, but the voice inside your head kept telling you to go on. It’ll be fine, no one will know. No one will find out. Seungcheol believes your dead so he won’t be looking for you- for some random bungalow in the middle of the forest.
“We don’t” Jihoon’s eyes went down to your hands. Letting out a sigh, he lowers your hands. “You should go back to bed, it’s late” Agreeing, you look down as you nod your head.
“Okay,” You looked up again quickly. “You’ll be sleeping too right? You won’t randomly disappear in the morning?” Jihoon laughed, rolling his eyes.
“You say that like we’re sleeping together” You huffed in responses, trying to pull your hand away from his.
“Shut up, you know what I mean”
He refused to let your hand go and he squeezed it lightly. He didn’t try to pull you closer, but then he never let you go further from arms reach either. It was as if your touch made it even more real for him. You were there with him- not that you had a choice, but you were alive and you were okay.
“I know,” He sighs, he squeezed your hand again. “I know”
“Are you okay?” You questioned, only to get the response of him nodding his head and leading you to the two bedrooms doors in the back. “Jihoon?”
Once you reached the two doors, he halted and turned to you. He squeezed your hand one last time before letting it go. He regretted his actions as soon as he did it but knew it had to be done.
“I’m okay, you make sure to go to sleep”
“Okay” You answered simply. “Make sure to sleep too”
“I will” He opened your door, turned you around before gently pushing you inside your room. “Sleep well okay,” He said as you turned around to face, all you could do was open your mouth to speak before he shut the door behind you.
Letting a sigh escape your lips, your mouth turned into a frown.
“You too” You mumbled, before going back to your bed and trying to go to sleep. Your mind full of the black haired assassin.
It was quiet when you woke up the next morning. The morning sun peeked through your curtains and into your room. Stretching your arms out, you pick yourself up out of bed and make your way to the hallway.
“Jihoon?” You called out, knocking on his bedroom door. No answer. You knocked again. No answer.  
Opening his bedroom door, you saw the bed had indeed been slept in but was now empty. The covers were still a mess and the partly blood-stained shirt he was wearing a mere five hours before was thrown over a chair.
You rolled your eyes, closing the door behind you and making your way to the kitchen.
“Jih-…” You cut yourself off when you see a sticky note, stuck on top of a carton of what seemed to be food. Letting out a huff, you pick up the sticky note and bring it closer to your face to read.
I’m sorry, I got called for a job. I promise I’ll be back quicker this time so please wait for me! Also, enjoy these pancakes, I thought you’d want something different to eat instead of ramen!
- hot guy;).
You rolled your eyes once more, especially when you saw how he had signed off the sticky note. He was never going to let that go, was he?
Placing the sticky note down on the counter, you opened the carton of pancakes up and the strong smell travelled through the air. Smiling to yourself, you couldn’t wait any longer before you dug into your breakfast.
After being used to eating only ramen for the past few days, the taste overwhelmed you and the smile on your face grew larger. You sent a mental thank you note to Jihoon and continued to eat.
After you finished eating, you washed up and put everything where they belonged and then went back to your room to get changed. That didn’t take long and you did your bathroom routine and began to do your everyday thing.
Sitting, watching the TV that wasn’t even turned on or you’d attempt your way at drawing. You danced around randomly to the few songs you had on the cassette. You read- or attempted to read a few of the books Mingyu had brought you, not all of them being that interesting.
You even made up someone to talk to. Someone to keep you company when no one else was there… Maybe you really were going crazy.
After a few hours, you huffed and threw yourself onto the couch. You were bored, you were more than bored. Your eyes went around the room when they landed on the TV.
“Might as well check out to see how I can use this thing” you muttered to yourself, pulling it forward so you had a clear view of the back.
If you could get a clear idea of how the thing worked and what was inside it, it would help you be able it figure out what you could take and use for your ‘get connection’ plan.
You mostly saw wires, but as you moved them to get a better look you saw circuit boards and things that helped the tv process information. Clicking your fingers you chuckled to yourself, but before you could get to start on any work, you heard a car pull up to the front of the house.
Quickly pushing the tv back to its original place, you rushed to the window and sneakily tried to peer through the blinds without whoever was outside noticing.
The car was a dark colour and had tinted windows so you couldn’t see inside.
Pulling yourself from the window, you looked around the room trying to think up a plan on the spot. You couldn’t let yourself panic. Panicking in this situation wasn’t what you needed.
Rushing to over by where the tv is, you look around frantically for something you could use as a weapon to defend yourself. Being met with nothing you have no choice but to run to your room and hide in the little space you have in your wardrobe.
It was dark and you covered your mouth to keep yourself quiet enough so you wouldn’t be caught. Closing your eyes, you listen silently and your heart starts to pick up its pace when you hear footsteps slowly move into your room. The closer they got to the wardrobe, the quicker your heart would pick up.
You thought all hope was lost when the door opened and you were face to face with a concerned looking Wonwoo.
“(Y/N)?” You gasped, uncovering your mouth and wrapping your arms around him in a hug. Your eyes started to tear up and you let out a small hiccup.
“I thought it was someone else, I got scared” Wonwoo sighed, returning the hug. He places a kiss on the top of your head and hummed.
“It’s okay, it’s only me, don’t worry”
You calmed down after a while, being in the comfort of your brother really helped. You had missed him a lot considering you hadn’t seen him since the day that you ‘died;.
You both talked, laughed and joked with each other like you usually did before everything happened and for a few hours it felt like everything was back to the way they used to be. That everything was normal again, that you were back in your old room with all your computers and you could see Mingyu and Minghao every day and that you could annoy Mingyu any chance you got. Like you were back with your family again, but that’s when reality set in when Wonwoo sighed and told you it was best for him to leave.
“I should leave now, I don’t want to draw too much attention to you” Wonwoo spoke, he grabs your hand with his and gently rubbed his thumb over the back of your hand. “I want to make sure you’re safe”
“I am safe,” You confirm “Especially when Jihoon is here”
Wonwoo chuckled, squeezing your hand. You raised an eyebrow at your brother’s chuckle but decided to say nothing.
“I’m glad you two are getting along so well”
“Well considering he’s helping protect my life, we kinda have to”
Wonwoo lets another sigh escape his lips and he stands. He picks up his black coat and puts it on before turning back to you.
“I’ll make sure to try and come here as often as I can without making it look obvious you’re hiding here” You hum and nod your head.
“Okay”  He hugged you goodbye and turned to leave. You bit your lip before suddenly calling out to him. It was now or never. “Won!” He turned to look at you with a raised eyebrow.
“Yes?”
“I was wondering, well, if you could-…”
“Spit it out (Y/N)” He cut you off. You took in a deep breath and released it. You then finished speaking.
“I was wondering if you could give me a phone,”
“(Y/N) you know-…” This time you were the one to cut him off.
“but only for safety reasons, what if someone showed up and I couldn’t do anything to protect myself, you saw how panicked I got today!” Wonwoo stayed silent, you could hear your heartbeat ringing in your ears as you waited for him to respond.
“I’ll think about it, but if I decide to give you one it’ll be under my conditions,” He says, he gives you a stern look. “You understand?” You nod your head frantically and he smiles. “Good, now I really have to go so I’ll come by and see you sometime soon”
“I’ll see you soon” You reply, waving your hand.
You stayed in the living room as Wonwoo disappeared into the kitchen and out into the garage. What you hadn’t realised was Wonwoo and Jihoon had crossed paths as Jihoon was just arriving home.
“Wonwoo” Jihoon smiles, “I’m glad to see you’re okay” Wonwoo smiles, placing his hand on Jihoon’s shoulder.
“I’m doing good, I’m glad you are too” Jihoon hums. “Before I leave, I just wanted to talk to you for a second, is that okay?”
“Yeah, it’s fine, what do you want to speak about?”
Wonwoo coughs awkwardly, before looking around and checking you weren’t close to overhear them.
“I want you to teach (Y/N) how to defend themselves, teach them how to use a gun if you have to, just do whatever you can to show them how” Jihoon raised an eyebrow and chuckled. He still nodded anyway.
“I thought being apart of the mafia would mean she already knows these things” Wonwoo sighs, a small smile gracing his features.
“You’d think that, but actually our father didn’t want her to. That’s why she’s so good at computers because she focused a lot of her energy on those” Wonwoo explained as Jihoon silently listened.
“Okay, I’ll show them”
“See this is why I trust you the most” Wonwoo admits, “Maybe more than I should, but this is how things go” Wonwoo chuckles again. “You care for them well”
“I told you, I’ll do whatever I can to keep them safe”
“Thank you Jihoon” Wonwoo smiled and Jihoon returned that smile.
“You’re welcome”
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wrongfullythinking · 3 years
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Twitter and the “Public Forum”
There is a very large looming legal question about whether or not social media sites, such as Twitter, are “Public Forums.”  Most would agree that they are not... at least... not yet.  But the question is... should they be?
First, a look into why it matters.
In a public forum, all First Amendment protections apply.  So you can say any number of very objectionable things (https://scholar.google.com/scholar_case?case=12634874511090553174) and be protected.  In a private forum, this is not so.  I can kick you out of my house for wearing an Abercrombie shirt, and you have no Free Speech/Expression reason to contest my staggeringly good decision-making.
Second, the public forum cannot be policed for any content that may be stated.  This is why if you go to reserve time at a public park, you don’t have to tell the Parks and Rec department what your event is for.  Just things like how many people, how long the event will last, etc.  This is well-established and well-backed by many years of precedent.
Finally, there is the very serious matter of personal liability.  In certain circumstances, officials can be held personally liable if their policies deliberately and knowingly infringe upon Bill of Rights protections (most often First Amendment protections).  This means that you could literally sue for the property and assets of a person.  (Also, this is why those of us who own either physical property [like a house] or intellectual property [like a book] buy “Umbrella Coverage” from insurances... I recommend State Farm, but that’s totally irrelevant and I’m not getting any kickbacks for that shill =P.)
But hang on... so if the government owns a billboard and rents it out to whomever can pay, can I rent it and post a naked lady?
You could try, and you might win!  What you can’t do is post something obscene.  And yes, whether or not a naked person is obscene is staggeringly controversial.  There’s a 3-part test from the Burger court, a host of vague terms like “average person” and “contemporary community standards,” and “lacks serious artistic/literary/political/scientific value.”  And then there are protections for children, a whole separate piece, as well as child pornography, which is always classified as obscene... except when it is not, like in the cases of naked cherubs in church windows.  So, confused yet?  We’re off topic, but I make this point to explain that even in public forums, where First Amendment rights are fiercely protected, there are still outstanding issues of content censorship.
So, is Twitter / Facebook / Tumblr a public forum?
At this point, the answer is no.  They are privately controlled by companies, not owned by the feds or states or local municipalities, and thus can make almost any policy they want.  The idea here is that the free market dictates the life or death of these platforms... and that idea tends to hold true!  Tumblr itself is a good case-in-point, because it has lost millions of dollars in value due to bad leadership decisions, and at least partially because of censorship.  There are countless examples of others... I remember when Yahoo! was the primary search engine of the internet and Xanga was the biggest blogging platform.  While you can still Yahoo, I’m not sure there are more than a few hundred people on Xanga, if it still exists in any useful format.  So, since places like this are subject to the free market, and thus can die... they should be allowed to make all the good or bad decisions they want about their content.  Or at least, that is how the theory runs.
But really... ARE they subject to the market?  Now we’re getting into the really interesting territory.  If Facebook shut down tomorrow, would it be a problem?  Maybe, but life would continue.  But if Google shut down tomorrow?  Well, millions of schoolchildren are in GoogleClassrooms right now, so that would certainly be a problem.  It would at least cause massive disruption... and Facebook shutting down would cause some disruption.  Likewise, Twitter controls so much speech that instead of publishing headlines from Newspapers, newspapers publish headlines from Twitter!  The 14-year-old looks at that line like “well, duh” and the 44-year old reads that line like “wow, we’ve come a long way,” and the 84-year-old reads that line with just a sad headshake.
So, now we’ve joined one of the most controversial points of the last 20 years... the Fannie Mae “Too Big to Fail” problem.  Basically, a set of banks and big mortgage companies (Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac) made a bunch of bad decisions in about 1995 - 2008.  [As an aside, whether or not Fannie Mae {technically, the “Federal National Mortgage Association”} is actually a company comes up as an issue... it originated as a government program, but is today a publicly-traded company and has been since the late 60s, though it was delisted from NYSE and is only traded off-exchange].  And the government had to step in.  You can read all about that issue at another time, the bottom line is that actually Fannie Mae has paid back more than it borrowed, but there was a ballooning of the debt ceiling by over 800 billion.  Some people care about the national debt, some don’t, and again, not the subject of this commentary.  The point is that it set a very odd precedent, whereas a company could make extremely bad decisions and then the burden would be placed on the taxpayers to fix their decision, because the company itself was a part of so many people’s lives.  Would social media fall under this guidance?  Unlikely, and I think we would all run from state-sponsored social media... but hey, what do I know.
So... get to the point.  Should they be public forums, or not?
My two cents always comes down against censorship, especially censorship by entities that don’t have my best interests at heart... so basically, everybody else.  I think that it is so easy to self-censor the internet at the personal end (for example, by installing filters and blocking services for objectionable content), that companies should not be unilaterally making these decisions, especially if those companies want to be venues for mass public communication.
Let’s go with another example... let’s say you wanted to call up your buddy and have a nice long phonesex session.  Good for you.  Or just chat with them about the latest Dr. Doe video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXgT8WXaPUY), because enthusiasm is important.  Would you be okay with Verizon telling a robot to monitor your call, and then automatically hang up if you said “penis” too much?  Or “Trump”?  Or “Black Lives Matter?”  What about “Nazi,” “Rohypnol,” “Mary Jane,” “negritos” [I’ve got your back, Mr. Cavani], “snowbunny,” or “Insane Clown Posse”?  I think most people would be upset about any of those, and they would rightfully tell Verizon that they will find another provider.  So Verizon doesn’t do that, although it could.  But Twitter does do that.  And the availability of another Twitter is in question.  Will something succeed Twitter?  Absolutely.  But right now, Twitter is under no market pressure, so it is succeeding at taking off its platform any number of conversations that it probably should not be policing.
There’s also a social-justice side of this.  So, let’s say that we all decide Twitter is a bad platform and move to something else.  And that something else costs us 10$ a month.  I wouldn’t notice this fee.  Others would.  So that’s an access issue.  Or, let’s say that some people start migrating to a new platform, and they only tell their friends about it.  That’s okay, right?  Absolutely... but imagine that college student who is trapped at home in a pandemic right now who cannot get any viewpoints outside of what her parents approved of, and previously used Twitter to explore and challenge her upbringing.  If she doesn’t get an invite to the new platform, is she just lost?
And that brings up the Pandemic.  Many, many common public forums have been shut down due to the pandemic.  This alone has caused serious controversy (see: BLM protests on crowded streets where state governors participated, while those same governors implemented executive orders enforcing 6-foot distancing in churches and stores), so the argument for Twitter censorship “but you have many other public forums!” is tough to substantiate during the COVID-era.  And this is a HUGE problem.  Historically, taking away public forums is always an early move of totalitarian regimes.  Taking away rights to assembly and speech follows soon after.  We’re now in Phase 2 there... and our governors keep assuring us it is temporary... while at the same time, encouraging Twitter to take off any viewpoints they don’t like, under the guise of “false or misleading information.”  Soon, they start moving into the schools, and that leads to...
SCIENCE!!!
So, to talk about what rigorous debate means, we need to understand a bit about Science.  And specifically, the philosophy of science, what scientific discourse looks like, and why review and critique are parts of the scientific process.
Point 1: “Scientific consensus” is hogwash.  Yes, we all agree that the Earth orbits the Sun, and the Sun itself moves, but beyond that, there isn’t much scientific consensus.  If you see an article that starts with the phrase “Expert say,” you can go ahead and close your browser window right there.  The rest is bull****.
Point 2: The limits of science are boundless.  Any specific scientific paper is, by necessity and the peer review process, very strictly bounded.  “Whether or not a vaccine is efficient” is an entirely different paper than one titled “Whether or not 80-year-olds with lung cancer should get the vaccine,” and both of those are different than “How the US should achieve herd immunity, and if it is even possible for COVID-19 before significant mutations cause current immunizations to be ineffective,” and all three of those are different from “Do we need to vaccinate our cats from COVID in order to reach herd immunity?”
Point 3: There is no “finalized” science.  The answers are never finished.  What is “cutting edge” science today is out-of-date tomorrow, barbaric and backwards by the end of the year, and grounds for an abuse lawsuit by the end of the decade.  The best examples of this are from Psych treatments.
Point 4: I get very worried when anybody starts to censor scientific content... especially those without any qualifications.  Okay, so this one is a personal sentence (note the “I”), but I’m going to go ahead and guess that Twitter robots and interns flagging posts don’t have any idea the difference between sensitivity and specificity, the background as to why the FDA has never approved an mRNA vaccine previously, the difference between statistical and clinical significance, and how to read a limitations section.  The people who are qualified to do so are peer reviewers... and in the case where those fail (which happens!), the rest of the writer’s peers.  And we do that.  Anything published is open to critique, which leads to the final point, that...
Point 5: Critique and Review are THE MOST IMPORTANT PARTS of scientific publishing.  If a piece is published without review, it is called an “opinion” and not science.  Even more worrisome than the censoring of unpopular papers is the censoring of the opinions of scientists on the papers of their peers.  Should someone publish a paper where I believe they overstretched their claims, it is a HUGE part of my job to call that out.  For an agency like Twitter to be able to say “you don’t have the right to say that they overstated their claim, because expressing a concern about a vaccine is against our Terms of Use” is a very big problem for science.
The flipside is that you get into the part where now a company can, through its policy, dictate what science gets done.  For example, lets say I wanted to examine an unpopular question... and I’m a social scientist, so there are plenty of those, but say I wanted to do something semi-controversial but apolitical.  I’ll say my research question is “How do the happiness of those in committed multi-year polyamorous relationships compare to the happiness of people in similar economic and social situations but in closed marriages where additional intimate partnerships would be viewed as grounds for relationship termination?”  There are plenty of ways I could conduct this study and I’ll spare you my methodological musings, but safe to say there are platforms who would not want me to publish my results.  And that’s fine. 
But let’s say that I did publish my results, and a commenter took to Twitter.  And their response was “I read your paper, and I see your conclusion that those in committed multi-year polyamorous relationships score no differently on a happiness scale than those in the closed marriages.  However, I disagree with your use of this scale, because it was tested on populations of retirees, and most of the people in your sample are in their late 20s or early 30s.”
That is an EXCELLENT and VALID critique.  And let’s say that Twitter was heavily into the social justice and had a policy that said “you can’t say negative things about polyamory.”  And they deleted this person’s comment.  Now, Twitter has interfered with the scientific process.  That comment IS PART of the dialogue and that dialogue is part of Science.  Yes, there are other places that those comments could be made, and not be censored... but we should not be encouraging that censorship ANYWHERE.  And Twitter has vastly overstepped the line on this point.  Random Twitter employees have no business removing professional critiques about a study, even if there are other platforms for those critiques.
Other Thoughts
1) Generally, you can’t prohibit meetings in a public forum based on prior behavior.  Thus, “X group was violent in the past” is not a reason to prohibit X group from accessing a public forum for speech.  So there’s no saying “Proud Boys were violent once, so no Proud Boys on Twitter” if it were to be declared a public forum.
2) I’m really not aware of any large precedents for taking a private company and declaring it a public forum.  That may seem redundant (obviously, if there was precedent, this wouldn’t be such a hot-button issue), but it bears specific mention.
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thesunnyshow · 4 years
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EPISODE 4: MILLY
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Writing Blog URL(s): @bumblebeenct 
Name: Milly
Age: 18
Nationality: Welsh
Languages: English
Star Sign: Capricorn
MBTI: ISFP-T
What fandom(s) do you write for?
 I write for NCT, but I have written for Harry Potter in the past
When did you post your first piece?
Around the empathy era I’m pretty sure, 2018? I used to do moodboards only but I was inspired by other writers to give it a go
Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why?
I find that I stick to the fluff/angst tropes because they’re easier to formulate because I can relate myself to the scenario more. I also find that its also more interesting to write angst because there's complications to a story that take longer to form and you have to really think about the different emotions the characters are feeling.
Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc?
I write x reader mostly, but at some point in the future I’m thinking of writing an OC purely because the concept I want to focus on has a particular emphasis on name and I don’t think it would work with y/n
Why did you start writing on Tumblr?
I used to use Wattpad but it was very difficult to promote myself and I struggled to meet anyone through it. On tumblr it was much easier to orientate and the community was so much nicer. 
What inspires you to write?
My mutuals! And other writers on tumblr, everyone is so supportive and kind it’s amazing. Also the feedback I sometimes get from readers, it makes me really happy whenever I get a comment or someone interacts with a piece I enjoyed writing, or alternatively when someone supports a fic I wasn’t confident in as it really boosts my confidence :)
What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most?
School/ College aus because they’re very familiar and I am confident in getting the tropes and ideas right. But I also like works inspired by movies or songs because there’s so much to work from and it’s nice to see where you can take the plot and lyrics in your own story.
What do you hope your readers take away from your work?
That writing is for everyone, honestly at the end of the day I’m just a kid in my room writing stories about artists I’m a really big fan of. If you want to write you can, and you don’t have to necessarily be a “big” blog or writer to do it. 
What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively?
Take a break, that’s my first port of call - usually in the method of food or I look at the inspiration material again, I listen to the song, read the lyrics, consult my friends and mutuals for help. It’s always good to be able to put something down to start again later when you’re struck with inspiration
What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful?
My favourite personally at the moment (since one I really like is currently, as of answering this question, unpublished) is ‘Remember Me’ purely because it was the work I was the most passionate about writing and it really let me explore a new field of writing, since a lot of my stuff had been fluff before. My most successful in terms of notes is my Mark one shot ‘Sugar and Spice’ and I’m very proud of it.
Who is your favorite person to write about?
Park Jisung, my ult bias, I have to convince myself to write for other members sometimes as I often resist the urge to be a Jisung blog. However I have been enjoying writing for Mark and Hendery recently, as my other NCT biases
Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose?
To a certain extent yes, it really depends on the writer. For many fanfiction stories, including ones we may label “cliche” the only difference is who it’s about, there are countless amazing fics I’ve read which I would assume could be made into a novel, the only thing making it fanfiction being the characters themselves.
What do you think makes a good story?
Feeling! There’s nothing that really constitutes a “good story” as it’s all subjective, but if you can read a story and feel what the characters feel, or even just see the emotions the writer is trying to portray then it’s definitely a good story. I’ve cried while reading most of, if not all my favourite stories.
What is your writing process like?
I plan first in a little notebook so I don’t forget any of my ideas or plans and then I try to churn it out whenever I have access to my computer, my speaker and a comfortable blanket. I like to “get in the zone” and then write as much as I possibly can. I usually think of ideas as I write so the notebook helps me put them in order and make sure I don’t get too ahead of myself.
Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story?
I have thought about it and honestly, I’m not sure. My fics are not series’ and they’re all very short - most of them under 4k so I’d have to turn the idea into a full length thing you know? But I have thought about doing the opposite with a very old original story of mine I’ve otherwise given up on but still holds a special place in my heart.
What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand?
I am a sucker for the enemies to lovers trope mainly because the character development in these stories can be so much more interesting and complex. On the other hand I’m not fond of “yandere” type fics, however I have read several well written ones which I cannot speak against because they were actually really good.
How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you?
I’d say a lot, in terms of how much I write feedback means a lot to me - it’s also nice to hear what people think of things you’ve written because it’s a different view from your own and sometimes can boost confidence. I am also open to constructive criticism if any writers have any tips or suggestions for future works I’m always open to listen. 
What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)?
When I see anyone interacting with my work it’s really rewarding and I love when people reblog with custom tags because it lets me know that people actually like what I do and to me, that’s a success.
Favorite color: Purple
Favorite food: Pasta
Favorite movie: Heathers (1988)
Favorite ice cream flavor: Cookie Dough
Favorite animal:  I would say bees, but I don’t think that counts so I’ll say dogs
Coffee or tea? What are you ordering?
Coffee, either black or a really fancy one with frothy milk
Dream job (whether you have a job or not)
 I’d love to be a singer honestly, but at the moment I’m working towards education I hope one day to be a lecturer
Go-to karaoke song
 Best Part by Daniel Caesar or Escape (the pina colada song) by Robert Holmes because it’s funny
If you could have one superpower, what would you choose?
 Stopping time because there’s so much you can do - except the question is, would I continue to age even if time has stopped?
If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose?
My mind goes to two extremes, I think either ancient Greece because why not and the 1950’s purely for fashion and music.
If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?
No, but I think if I could restart specific moments I would. There are so many good moments but some things you don’t want to relive even if you can change the outcome.
Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken?
100 chicken sized horses, I’d be terrified of a horse sized chicken it would probably be able to eat me and I’m not about that life, tiny horses I can deal with. Kill them with Kindness or whatever haha.
If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been?
A mix of quiet teachers pet and loud side character friend. The duality kills me, I can be shouting with my friends one minute but whispering the minute the teacher asks me a question.
Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures?
I’d like to, I think some are really cool and it would be amazing to live among them, but also some are dangerous, but I would love to see or meet some creatures. Imagine living with dragons man that would be epic.
What are some of your favorite hobbies and how did you get into them?
I really like reading, courtesy of Harry Potter, but I also enjoy singing and playing the piano which I started doing more often in secondary school when my piano teacher suggested I started to sing as well :)
Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know?
I did Karate for about 10/11 years, and I’m a black belt *insert awkward smile here*
Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged?
A lot of the time yes, there is a stigma around fanfiction and often paints us in a negative light but we just happen to be a community of creative fans who want to share and support the people we write about. But I can see where the stigma comes from, sometimes it can be taken a bit far and I am aware that some things make the artists themselves uncomfortable. I think if people who judge fanfiction are referring to it as a single idea it becomes unfair because it is all different, but I also think that writers of fanfiction themselves have to make sure they don’t cross any boundaries when writing that could make readers or the artist (if they ever happened to stumble across your work) uncomfortable.
Do you think art can be a medium for change?
Yes in some ways of course. Art is not only a way to express what the creator themselves is feeling but it is also a way to teach others about issues, prejudices and ideals. For literature specifically it allows you into the shoes of another person you may not have understood before, in art pieces there’s a clear message and encourages people to educate themselves on certain issues which in turn makes room for change.
Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself?
Sometimes if i’ve been suggested or requested to write something because it isn’t an idea that comes for me but mainly if I am aware that someone is waiting for a fic or someone has said they’re anticipating it I feel like I’m writing for others, but I don’t particularly mind it because it almost encourages me to write to a better standard.
Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?
Not particularly, I'm often as clear as I can be when portraying meaning, or I will straight up say it in a different thread or to different people because I can’t keep secrets and I’m a sucker for a spoiler. Although I am constantly worried about the way I come off in messages and things like that - I am a terrible overthinker.
Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr?
A few of my closest friends and other kpop stans I am friends with irl are aware of my blog and support me as much as they can with what little information I give them. I think only one of my irls has my url because she reads and I send her my binge reviews when I do them.
What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers?
Thank you so much, honestly it’s cheesy but without them I don’t know where my blog would be. The amount of them surprises me everyday and I don’t think I believe it half the time. Also if anyone ever needs help or support or just wants a chat I’m open, its 100% likely that if you interact with me or my posts on the regular then I will recognise you when you come say hi, I’m not that scary I promise.
Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there?
Just do it! It’s better to get your stuff out there and circulating to get a better idea of what people like and where your strong suit is, the more you put out the more you grow. But if you’re scared, talk to other creators, we’re always open to help and we can let you know what to do, it was something that helped me out :)
Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr?
When I first started there was a lot of struggle with me trying to figure out my style and what I wanted to do, and it was a learning curve of what can I do, what should I avoid and who am I doing this for. Sometimes when I’m really down I will question why I do it, but I never regret it because it has allowed me to make some wonderful friends and be exposed to some amazing creations and get more into something I’ve always liked doing, writing.
Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey?
I don’t want this to be too long, but I feel like it could be. I’ve met so many wonderful people and I love all of them so much, but in terms of being formative and supportive these are some of the people I talk to the most. @renjunwrites - I am a huge fan of Denise and to even be able to be in conversation with her about the stuff she writes is mindblowing to me, @nanasarea - nana was one of the first people I spoke to (before I joined discord) and was really accepting of my antics from day one. @glossyjaems - me and Louna have become very close recently and I can’t wait for our project to launch, keep an eye out for that. @mjlkau Anie is really one of the biggest supporters I have, always willing to read what I send her and give me support and love. There’s so many more people I’d love to mention but this would go on forever, to anyone ever involved in my writing process I’m thinking of you as I write this and I love you all (I feel really bad not talking about every single one omg).
Ending thoughts:
“We’ll be alright, I want to try again” - Try Again d.ear (ft. Jaehyun) because this is something I hold close, ‘try again, we’ll all be alright in the end’
BONUS: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL
Interested in your very own episode of The Sunny Show? Find out how to apply here.
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ruiyuki-archives · 4 years
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Star Tear AU - Momo ver.
This is an AU I wrote on the todomomo discord server eons ago. Anything posted to this blog will be transcripts of old original work and not really edited, save for formatting. I have no guarantees if I will ever finish these AUs either so these will only be kept as an archive.
Original transcript posted to tdmm discord: Aug 2020
Momo ver. Alternate timeline: Todo ver. Part 1 || Todo ver. Part 2 || Todo ver. Part 3
ALRIGHT YALL NEW TROPE ALERT ➡ STAR TEAR DISEASE
Basically the cousin of Hanahaki Disease. Unrequited love causes a person to cry star tears accompanied by the sound of twinkling and if the feelings are not returned said person goes colour blind
And I just !!!!
tdmm AU where Momo gets star tear disease and the first time she cries in front of Todo after the exam with Aizawa she cries star tears???
And she doesn’t know what it means and neither does Todo but maybe Aizawa does and recognizes what it means but idk
So Momo goes on this whole literary quest to research what it means. And Todo volunteers to help bc umm?? Even the pressure point in her foot doesnt stop this phenomenon so he wants to figure it out too
And along the way they dig through the UA library on study dates and dig through the bookstores and dig through the interwebs together
Spending more and more time together, Momo starts to realize she’s feeling something. that is until one night she finds it on the web what star tears mean
Its her unrequited love for Todoroki
And her realizing this just makes it w or s e
Bc the consequence of not having her feelings returned means she goes colour blind
Or you know what, im just gonna alter it and make it more angst. She goes fully blind, ya lets do that.
SO MOMO
Poor bby is grappling with this realization and coming to terms with it all on her own; recognizing that if she doesnt let Todo know after all this time spent together she’s come to love him....... she'll go blind
But ofc its Momo... poor bby selfless Momo....
Her feelings and her own and not a responsibility of Todo to like her back and cure her of this disease so there is NO WAY she’s gonna burden him with that
Plus they’re both too busy tryna be heroes and shouldn’t have this as a distraction
So ofc Momo's not gonna tell Todo
And she cries and cries even more star tears that twinkle in fill her room in the dark like galaxies in the sky.
Its really beautiful.
She'll accept that she'll go blind never to see the face of her loved ones again. Her parents. Her friends....... Todoroki.
And that potentially she might have to give up her dream of being a hero if the blindness compromises it.
But she'll accept that.
The next day she wakes up and cant see a colour
And slowly it begins.......
She loses green first. Its hard to distinguish green from yellow
Then yellow goes
Then orange
Then one by one colour fades over weeks and weeks
Ofc shes not telling anyone.
She fakes it in class, during hero training, during her internship
That when Ochako and Hagakure asks "isnt the colour dress cute?" holding up a lovely chartreus and gold dress, she lies and says yes even though she sees gray
Which breaks her even more
And so she cries alone at night some more star tears
And it keeps going
All the while Todo noticing from beside his desk......
something is off...
But he doesnt ask her. Not yet.
Because after weeks of spending time with her researching, he believes they’re close enough that she'll share with him what’s going on
He didnt question it when she told him "its ok Todoroki san, we can stop researching"
"Did you figure it out?"
"Yes. Its nothing to be concerned about anymore"
He doesnt question it when he notices her in the morning at breakfast,,, the little speckles of star dust glimmering at the corner of her eyes
And he doesnt question himself either when he starts to think the twinkling tears she cries when she thinks she is alone,, makes her look really beautiful
Its those some odd moments when he passes the classrooms on the way back to the dorms at sunset that he sees her alone by the window,, looking out,, as the sun paints the sky reds pinks yellows and oranges,,, that she stares out and star tears fall from her eyes, twinkling in the setting light
And he thinks to himself that she is really beautiful,, a shadow against the setting sun
So he watches and thinks some more
That shes beautiful even without the sunset. Beautiful in class answering the hardest question. Beautiful in battle when her tactics win over her opponent. Beautiful studying when he notices her little motions when shes concentrating.
But while Todo thinks that to himself, Momo cries. Little star tears in her eyes.
She cant see the sunset anymore.
.
.
.
He doesnt think its serious when she tells him to disregard the matter
But when he happens to run into her when visiting his mom at the hospital, and she’s on her way out from the optometry & ophthamology department to get this whole eye thing checked out, thats when he realizes
Oh. This is serious.
And he starts trying to get her to talk but she’s being all avoidy and tight lipped
Cuz from Momo’s doctors’ appointment, the doc told her there’s no cure unless she gets over the feelings herself or her feelings are returned
And really now, she still thinks its her burden to bare not his
So logically the only thing she thinks she can do to slow down the blindness from the tears is to shut down her feelings for him. Put them in a box. And become cold.
Todoroki hates that.
That she’s being avoidant and cold when he knows something is wrong and wants to help her but she is being so not Momo anymore
He wants the kind, loving, selfless, pure hearted, strong Momo he's grown to learn and respect and know back
And that’s when he realizes he really cares for her
Not just admiring her beauty. Or respecting her battle instincts and leadership
That he realizes he really likes her
Perhaps even loves her.
So thats that.
Until its mission time.
Cuz its not angst until someone gets hurt and the other realizes they’ve been keeping a secret all this time sooooooooo
Smth smth UA kids vs a new baddie or minor villian or idk it could be dabi for all i want bc i put dabi in everything lmaooo
But who they’re fighting is not important
The important part is tdmm are on the same team
Maybe deployed as partners even
And theyre fighting back to back against some grunts
And at this point Todo is frustrated he’s not getting through to Momo just after he shook his own world realizing he likes her
And Momo's being all cold but civil and she is completely colour blind.
Theres no undoing the damage in her eyes. She can see in muted muddy tones and grayscale.
So for plot convenience lets say the villain has some kinda colour distortion quirk that mixes up the perception of colour from the true colour in a form of illusion or smth idk
So when the grunts in all black uniform end up attacking them, to Todo and Momo, one looks dressed in red, another in green, others in blues yellows purples
tdmm do pretty well fending them off until Todo notices 3 of them in blue green and purple about to attack Momo at once
And she’s ready to fend them off but doesnt notice a 4th one in red coming in for a swift sneak atttack right behind the green one
But Todo does notice
And he shouts
"YAOYOROZU THE RED ONE"
But she cant tell
And the knife lands deep in her shoulder
And Todo burns the rest to a crisp
You can imagine what the conversation is in the aftermath, when Momo has her shoulder bandaged up and Todo tending his own wounds
"Yaoyorozu.. please be honest with me. Why didnt you avoid the red one when I shouted?"
Because, he knows, that the heroine Creati he's trained along side with for so long would have been able to anticipate the grunts assault
That she would have expected a sneak attack amidst a simultaneous attack
But the fact that she didnt. Couldnt. Avoid it definitely means shes been handicapped
And Momo, upon being asked, hurt and tired from their battle finally relents
She cant lie to him any longer.
"It was because... i couldnt tell. I couldnt distinguish their colours. I havent been able to for a few weeks now.... I've..."
A star tear falls from her eyes.
"I've lost my colour vision Todoroki-san"
Tiny galaxies fall from her eyes as she finally explains to him what these tears are
And Todo is speechless as she talks, only able to hear the twinkles against her words broken against sniffles and hiccups
And when sh’es said all she knows - that this is a disease that will turn her blind, that there is no cure and it comes as a consequence of loving someone who doesnt love you back, that she doesnt want to burden the person she loves with her responsibility, that she has been trying bury her feelings to save herself ...
He finally asks: "Who is it.  Tell me who it is that you love Yaoyorozu"
.
.
.
.
"You. Its you Todoroki-san"
And his heart broke.
He pulls her into a hug,, so tight she thinks she might be crushed
And its his turn to cry against her
Because all this time she was doing this for him
"Im sorry Momo. Im so sorry. You dont have to suffer alone anymore. Because we're partners, long before I even realized it"
"Eh?"
He looks into her eyes, unwavering
"Im in love you too."
The tears that fall from her next are no long starlight.
Epilogue/trivia:
Momo loses her colour vision following the colour wheel starting with green ➡ yellow, orange, red, etc until blue is last to go
Shes most heartbroken about losing red and blue cuz those are the colours she associates with Todo (when she cant see the sunset anymore its when she realizes she lost red and that’s why she’s crying)
Since the damage of the disease cant be restored, she has to deal with greyscale vision for some years
Eventually Eri rewinds it for her once Eri can control her power
but for those some years Momo is so busy!! cuz she goes into genius mode and starts creating (and probably working with Hatsume) vision impairment accessibility tools? Yes
and bc I have an unhealthy obsession with the todofam, Natsuo probably ends up getting a case of the disease for some odd reason if he ever broke up with his gf and Todo upon hearing it is like NO GO TELL HER PLS
He’s not gonna let anyone else on the other end feel the guilt that he did for Momo
> archives masterpost
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