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#“it's anxiety (let's not treat this anxiety (which i have and i'd like treated too)). do sports
ectocosme · 4 months
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I think the next time I go to my Dr I'll just write "Elher-danlos syndrome, ever heard of it you white-coated buffoon!? (or smth close)" right on my forehead bc I get so hesitant and go "mn, mayhaps, perhaps, i'm not sure, it's not just anxiety and more sports won't help?"
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Do you have any more stuff for Sunny & Sides? Your designs for them are some of the best I've seen, and I'd love to know more about your plans or headcanons for them!
No pressure ofc, I support you and your absolute galaxy brain :D
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Sure, here is a bunch of random stuff about in no particular order, lot of this stuff was just pulled from my notes but whatever lol 
Sunstreaker is egotistical, he knows he is the best and makes sure everyone knows it too. He also has the skills, looks, and combat prowess to back it up. Sunstreaker only really cares about himself and Sideswipe, considering pretty much every bots below him or not worth his time. He often makes sly comments, belittling or cracking jokes about bots whom he deems lesser. His friends are either Sideswipes friends who can tolerate him or bots who think he's cool, which is usually due to factors outside his personality. He's always down for a good fight, being ruthless and downright merciless in combat while still somehow managing to get as little dirt, energon, or other various combat filth on himself as possible, sometimes being nearly spotless after a battle aside from the energon coating his blade. Sunny likes to keep himself in good condition, making sure his paint is perfect and his polish shines, it really helps accentuate how he's the best.
Sideswipe is the nicer of the two brothers. He's outgoing and usually pretty friendly. Sideswipes is always looking for a fight. He loves the thrill of combat. He often treats serious situations more like a game than the high-danger situations he often places in. Sideswipe often can't sit still and always need something to do, and if there is nothing fun to do then he will make his own fun, he is often sparring with his fellow Autobots, trying risky stunts, pulling pranks on other bots and generally just causing chaos. He's very impulsive, often doing the first thing that comes to mind because he thought it might be fun, never considering the consequences. He's kinda like a jock who treats war like a sport with an almost ruthless approach to combat. He often tenses and banter with other autobots, sometimes making jokes at their expense, but unlike Sunny, he usually knows when to stop or when he's gone too far.
info dump bellow↓↓↓
Sideswipe and Sunstreaker both emerged during the Autobot Decepticon war and never known peace times. They are the youngest of the crashed Autobots, both being around a thousand years old, which is very young when your species can live to their hundred thousands.
Twins are what happens when a shuttle-sized spark splits into two, so before Sideswipe and Sunstreaker split, their emerging was highly anticipated because shuttles are rare and extremely powerful, but their spark ended up splitting. When they finally emerged, it was a great disappointment.
they were mentored by Inferno and, to a lesser extent, his conjux Redalert (they are one of the many reasons for Redalerts anxiety). Sideswipe has a pretty good relationship with his mentors Sunny… not so much 
Sunny hates Earth, it's filthy it's wet it's squishy it's sticky it's too hot, at least compared to Cybertron's frigid temperatures, and its dominant species are nothing but a pain he hates he has to hide his existence from the stupid inferior fleshy creatures that rule this dirtball of a planet he hates how often on missions he has to have a fleshy human chaperone to perform basic task that he could easily do himself or wouldn't be a problem if humans just didn't exist. Whichever bot or bots are on a mission with Sunny where human help is required, the other bot will always be the one transporting the human because Sunny refuses to let a human inside of him.
Sideswipe likes Earth, there so much to see it his first time being anywhere without the war consent looming present of the great war, but having to hide all the time on Earth is frustrating, he's been able to seek out and do some street races without Prowl knowing, he likes quite a lot of human stuff human music is pretty good and he like some human tv shows and movies mostly the ones with a lot of actions and explosion, he like interacting with the humans he's allowed to interact with especially Carly and Raoul, thought Sideswipe often struggles to understand how fragile humans are and often can put them at risk without even knowing it. Sideswipe is still a little homesick for Cybertron, even if he's only ever known it as a war-torn mess.
their poses often mirror each other
Sunny tells Sideswipe to smile with his mouth closed because his split beak. 
Sunny is the decision-maker of the two, and though Sideswipe may make destinations for himself on his own as a pair, Sunny always has the final say. 
Sunstreaker hates Sideswipe stickers but gave up on trying to remove them because whenever he tried, he got his claws sticky. 
Sunstreaker and Tracks have a bit of a rivalry going on, though Tracks hates Sunstreaker more than Sunstreaker dislikes Tracks. Also, Sunny usually comes out as the victor of most of their little spats.
Sideswipe pulls pranks but doesn't dare prank Sunstreaker because he knows there will be hell to pay if he messes up his brother's paint job. 
sideswipe loves to cause chaos, Sunny often help
Sunny has some artistic talent, though he doesn't use it much
Sunstreaker always makes sure his frame is clean and in near-perfect condition. Sideswipe doesn't care as much but Sunny, make sure Sideswipe keeps up to a certain standard.
Sideswipe is very extroverted, loves interacting with other bots, and will talk to basically anyone. Sunny is more introverted and prefers to keep to himself and select bots. Sunny tries to encourage his brother not to hang out with bots he considers not good enough to be associated with them which is most bots.
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As for plans for them, I like keeping what I share plot-wise pretty vague. They appear pretty early on, and they both are pretty plot-important. I don't really care about spoiling characters who appear in the first seven chapters. After that, I'm a little more sneaky and vague about who will appear.
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psychedelic-ink · 1 year
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𝑨𝑸𝑼𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑪 𝑹𝑬𝑯𝑨𝑩𝑰𝑳𝑰𝑻𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵
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pairing: joel miller x f!reader
genre: smut, minors dni, no outbreak au, strangers to lovers
word count: 7.2k
summary: Joel has been experiencing knee pain for the past two months. When he finally sees an orthopedist, he learns that he has some minor damage to his meniscus. The doctor prescribes him anti-inflammatory medication and physical therapy, recommending swimming. At the pool, he meets you.
warnings: conversation about past failed relationships + sexual relationships, sarah's off at college, reader being briefly self conscious about her body, touch starved joel, oral (giving), both reader and joel not being intimate with anyone for a while, piv sex, riding for the first time, ass play, messy, joel showing small signs of relationship anxiety, sexual tension, size kink, dirty talk, joel is mentioned to be older than reader but how old isn't specified, praise kink, joel being...well-endowed
a/n: this ended up being more emotional and longer than I intended lmaodfbvfg whoops?
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Joel worries his bottom lip between his teeth. His right knee bobs nervously, his jeans making a sound every time. The early morning sun filters through the small window. A soft yellow light bounces off the picture frames on the orthopedist's desk. She’s not here yet. The kind nurse had let him in early, saying she would be there shortly. It smells like medicine. It’s too clean and he doesn’t like it. 
His stomach turns. Some part of him actually hopes the doctor doesn’t come in. Joel’s not hopeful about the results. His knees have been bugging him for the past two months. Locking painfully whenever he sat too long and got up. Or when he was sitting in the truck for too long. It just started to ache out of nowhere. It had gotten worse. He’d give in, finally, after Sarah practically begged him on the phone to see a doctor. After all this time he still couldn’t say no to his sweet girl. 
The door opens with a click. Joel becomes stiff, eyes nervously following the woman. She takes a seat. Placing the folder neatly on the shiny table, she opens it and smooths it out with the flat of her palms. 
“Good morning, Mister Miller.” she says, not bothering to look at him. “I've taken a look at your knee x-rays and it seems that you have a bit of damage in your meniscus.”
His molars catch the smooth inside of his cheek and sink into it. She just said a whole lot that he doesn’t understand. He shakes his head. She’s finally looking at him, sharp eyes peering between thinned lashes. 
“Is it serious? What does that mean?” he asks, hands finding the curve of his knees. 
“Well, the good news is that it's not a major injury. There’s just a bit of damage in the tissues and can be treated with some medication and physical therapy. You won’t need surgery unless it escalates. Which, hopefully, it won’t.”
“Okay, that's good to hear. What kind of medication and therapy do I need?”
“I'm going to prescribe you some anti-inflammatory medication to help reduce the swelling and pain in your knee. And as for physical therapy, I'd recommend you try swimming. It's a low-impact exercise that can help strengthen the muscles around your knee and promote healing. I also have some stretches I want to show you. I want you to do them daily.” 
She closes the folder, picks up a deck of Post-it notes, and starts scribbling something. 
“You were a contractor, right? I’m going to need you to refrain from heavy lifting for a while. No jumping, no running, no extreme movements that can affect your knee. Some walking is fine, but not a lot.” 
“Well,” he smacks his lips. Now relaxed, he leans back into the chair and crosses his arms. “There goes my weekend plans.” 
“Do you work out a lot? Because this is quite common in athletes.” 
“Uh…It was a joke.” 
“Oh.” 
Suddenly he’s fidgety again. Not wanting to look dumb, he explains. “Because you said jumpin’ and runnin’ and no one spends their weekend jumpin’ do they?” 
A nervous laughter bubbles in his throat, and he manages to swallow it down. She nods and peels the paper away. Handing it to Joel, she looks at him with a small smile. 
“Sorry about that, it’s still early. And you’re right. They don’t. 
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You step into the small shower cabin and allow the cold water to trace over your skin and wash away the outside. The elastic of your swimming cap digs into your forehead, the goggles applying pressure right above your head. Slightly irritated, you sneak two fingers under where the plastic starts, allowing your head to breathe one last time before taking a dip in the pool. You come here almost every day. It’s relaxing, soothing. 
Your fingers slip as you twist the knob, turning off the spray of water. You might be biased due to your childhood, but you love the pool. You love the chlorine that fills your lungs with every breath. It’s sharp and pungent, leaving a slight burn in your lungs. During summers your parents would send you off to summer camp, which you thoroughly enjoyed. Though, calling it a “camp” felt wrong. It wasn’t outdoors, and you would return after the day ended, just like regular school, but instead of math, there was swimming and basketball. 
You remember those days fondly, which is why you sigh blissfully at the scent whereas a lot of people would wrinkle their noses. 
Walking to the pool, you roll your shoulders. You wince upon hearing them crack. It’s been a long week. Your gaze lifts to the ceiling. The soft pitter patters of rain echoes. You love to swim when it rains. It also meant there would be fewer people, and no children. You don’t have anything against the tiny humans, but they had a habit of being loud. 
You spot an older couple, their bodies swaying in a lazy backstroke, their voices spilling out in laughter. You also notice one other person that’s aggressively swimming back and forth. In one lane, you notice a man. His cap and black goggles make it hard to catch a glimpse of his face. It’s hardly inappropriate, but you can’t resist stealing a few more glances at him. 
You take in his broad shoulders, thick neck, and shapely arms. You narrow your eyes. You catch a glimpse of his salt and pepper beard, the darker hue of his mustache hinting at the  color of his hair. Your eyes drop to his hands, hidden in the water up to the knuckles. He clenches them into fists before releasing them.
Your curiosity piques. You’ve never seen him before, he looks lost. He’s standing above the built-in stairs which are mainly used for people who are just learning to swim. He takes another step lower. The light blue water splashes over his soft stomach and he jerks away. You instinctively smile. You usually don’t reach out to people. If they smile at you, you smile back or talk about the weather. But the stranger’s nervous energy prompts you to take a couple of steps closer—close enough that he can hear you. You take a deep breath, pressing your nails into your palms, you push down the thoughts about your own appearance. No one really looks that good in a one piece. You feel exposed, which is why you usually dip into the water as fast as you can before anyone can get a good look. 
“Hi there,” you squeak, with an awkward lift of your hand. The man stiffens and turns. Your own image is reflected back at you thanks to the goggles he wears. “Sorry to bother you, I was just…wondering if you need help?” 
He stares at you in silence for a brief moment, his brows drawn together with confusion. But a moment later he relaxes, his shoulders drop and he playfully shakes his head. 
Finally, he removes the goggles, and you see his eyes— his gorgeous, big brown eyes. Your breath catches in your throat. You’re suddenly feeling very clammy and sweaty. 
“Is it that obvious?” he asks, a grin teasing at his lips. “My doctor said I need to start swimmin’ before my knees give out entirely.” 
“I’m sorry to hear that.” 
He waves his hand in dismissal, “Don’t be. It's nothin’ that serious, just small damage to my meniscus. I know how to swim, so it’s nothin’ like that but I guess my nerves are fried from worryin’ all weak about the results. My brain still ain’t convinced that everythin’ is fine.” 
God, he’s gorgeous. All you can do is focus on the movement of his lips. Him speaking is enough to fluster you. You need to get it together before he thinks you’re a creep. You part your lips, but the words die in your throat as you watch him. He starts climbing the steps one by one with an extended hand. The water cascades down his body, his trunks sticking to his thighs. In a fit of panic, you glue your eyes to his. 
“I’m Joel by the way.” he takes your hand and gives it two firm shakes. You introduce yourself but all you can hear is your own frantic heartbeat. 
“I’m glad it’s nothing serious,” you blurt out. You have no idea what to say or what you’re doing. “If you’re nervous we can do a couple of laps together if you want—if you’re comfortable with that, of course.” 
You swear your heart stops when his eyes flit across your face, assessing how serious you are. His smile never fades. You inhale sharply when his tongue darts out from between his lips, sweeping over his damp bottom lip.
“I bet you say that to all the older guys.” 
“Only the cute ones.” 
Clearly, the circuits between your brain and mouth are heavily damaged because there’s no way on god’s green earth did you just say that. You blink fast. Images of you choking out another you vivid in your mind. You’re insane—only the ones that are cute, who even says that? No more romantic comedies for you. 
Joel pushes his shoulders back. He exhales a deep breath, his chest heaving. 
“Well, ain’t that kind of you.” he takes a step back into the water, some part of you regrets not sneaking at least one more glance at his nethers. “I guess I should take you up on your offer. It’s only polite.” 
A nervous bubble of laughter escapes your throat. You don’t say anything and follow him into the pool. You’re glad to be finally submerging your body in water. Ever since you were little you would believe that water had magical healing properties. You would go into the water, thinking that someone it would speak to you. Despite being an adult, you still think that sometimes. It just makes life a little bit more fun. You know it’s stupid to think of chloric water having any kind of benefit to your body, however, it’s hard to break old thought patterns. 
Joel dips head first, and after watching his distorted silhouette underwater, you follow. You smile, bubbles coming from your nose. Your spine cracks as your body becomes more fluid. You turn around so you are facing upwards. Light bounces on top of the small waves. The ceiling is nothing but a blur of white and blue. Some part of you wishes this was an open pool so you could feel the vibrations of raindrops hitting the waterline. 
Turning again, you notice Joel moving up. His head pops above water. You take one last glance at his body before propelling yourself up, joining him. 
Your eyes follow the way waterdrops smooths a line down from his neck to his shoulder. Your mouth goes dry. 
“So,” you say. “Did your doctor give you any specific exercises?” 
He shakes his head, “She just told me to go swimmin’. And not to put pressure on my knees.” 
You think for a bit before answering, “Alright then. We’ll just take it slow, so a couple of laps first, take small breaks in between.” 
“You…really don’t have to, you know,” Joel looks almost guilty before his eyes move away from yours. Confused, you raise an eyebrow. 
“I don’t have to what?” 
“Swim with me.” 
You feel your heart shattering into tiny pieces of glass that stick to your lungs. His voice is barely above a whisper, cracking at the end of his sentence. Your body moves towards his by instinct. The most natural thing would be to place your hand on his cheek and pull him for a tender kiss. Your body singing at you to do it. And man, you’re tempted alright. You want to trace the seam of his lips with your tongue, taste the chlorine on his lips. 
You ball your hands into tight fists, thankful to be hidden underwater. You recognize the loneliness that maps across his handsome countenance. 
“I know I don’t have to,” you say instead. He looks back at you with surprise, eyes immediately dropping to your wet lips. “I want to.” 
He lets out a breath of relief, and nods, a smile gracing his lips. “A’right then. As long as I’m not keepin’ you from anythin’.” 
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The swimming had gone well. Joel definitely had the body and stamina for it, and the more laps he did, the more confident he became with his strokes. You found yourself staring at him openly, stealing glances before you dipped below the water, hiding your embarrassment. 
However, he was still a beginner, and he’s knees began to ache after the tenth lap. He insisted that you continue without him as he sat at the side of the pool. You were hesitant at first but agreed, however, your cheeks burned from the mere prospect of that man watching you swim. 
When you’re done, you catch him staring at you with a fond smile lingering on his lips. You imagine that’s the same look he’d give you with the first rays of sunlight after a rather passionate night. 
Your pussy bottoms out, heat spreading between your legs. You inhale sharply, accidentally snorting a bit of water. It burns and your eyes water, but you manage to swallow down the frantic coughs that threaten to rip from your throat. 
“Sweet little mermaid.” he mutters as you approach, eyes following you with greed. Your breath hitches, and Joel loses his grounding for a moment. He clears his throat and looks away. “You swim well.” 
“Thanks,” you answer. “You’re not so bad yourself.” 
You ignore the heat that emanates from his thigh, your arms accidentally brushing against the hard muscle. You clumsily push yourself out of the pool and take a seat next to him. 
“How’re your knees feeling?” you ask. 
He lets out a hum, stretching his legs underwater. “They’re fine. Hopefully, this works.” 
“I’m sure it will.” 
"Even if it doesn't work out, at least I won't be going home empty-handed," he says with a smile. Your eyes flick to him and widen slightly. Very inappropriately, your nipples tighten. A blush starts from his neck and spreads across his broad chest, you notice the goosebumps bursting over his skin. He starts to fidget with his thumbs. “And by that, I mean that I got to meet you. I think I put that weirdly.” 
The world comes rushing back and you feel the soft waves of the pool on your skin again. You smile. Without thinking much, you playfully nudge his shoulder with your own. A soft chuckle parts his lips as he leans into you. Neither of you moves away from the other. 
“So,” you say, flinching at how high-pitched you sound. “Is there a Mrs. Joel?” 
He laughs. The sound reminds you of an open field with colorful flowers dancing side to side with the wind. Instinctively, you sigh, your lashes kissing your cheeks. 
“Nope,” he answers. “What about you?” 
You shake your head, “I’ve been single for two years.” 
“I find that hard to believe.” 
“Well,” you look ahead, the old couple you spotted before is getting out of the pool. “My heart got broken quite a few times. I think without noticing I closed myself off after my last relationship. I find it hard to open up now and—” you cut off, your gaze drifting back to him. You bark an uncomfortable-sounding laugh and drop your head to your chest. “Aaand, I have no idea why I’m telling you this. Sorry.” 
“Don’t apologize, darlin’. For what it’s worth, I haven’t been with anyone for a long time either.” 
You grin and raise an eyebrow, “I find that hard to believe.” 
Joel smiles but it’s a soft one, like he’s remembering something—or in this case, someone. With unblinking eyes, you wait for him to elaborate. He notices your gaze, his smile stretches into a grin. 
“It’s not that interestin’ of a story,” he sighs. “I had my daughter when I was quite young. Mother left. And until Sarah went to college there was no one. After she left…I had a couple of flings but that’s pretty much it. Nothin’ long term.” 
“You have a daughter?” 
“Uh, yeah.” he answers, scratching the back of his head. You feel kind of bad now that you made him feel awkward. That wasn’t your intention at all. You’re surprised, but you find it to be sweet that he has a daughter. It must’ve been hard to raise her on his own. 
Before you can say anything, you sense him pulling back, both emotionally and physically. His shoulder isn’t pressed against yours anymore, the lack of contact makes you ache. He moves his legs languidly under the water, your gaze follows the movement. 
“I know it might be awkward. And not ideal. But I would love it if we could get to know each other more.” 
Your ears burning, you take his hand into yours, squeezing it tightly. If he’s surprised by your sudden gesture, he doesn’t show it. He doesn’t look at you and you squeeze again, drawing his gaze back to you. 
“That’s not why I asked. That was probably a bit insensitive of me, I was just surprised and it came out wrong.” you let out a breath of relief when his thumb begins to draw slow circles over your skin. A shiver settles at the base of your spine. “And I would very much like to get to know you.” 
Your heart skips a beat at the way his entire face lights up. Looking at him proving to be similar to looking into the sun, you lower your gaze and grin. You feel dizzy. 
“Does that mean I can ask for your number sunshine?” he asks and leans closer. His warm breath fanning your cheek. 
You nod, “Of course.” 
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The pleasant buzz that thrums in your veins soon shift into one of simmering annoyance. Of course, someone took—no, stole—your umbrella. It’s just your luck. It’s raining cats and dogs and all you can do is watch the heavy drops collide with concrete as you wait outside. You look up to the sky, pleading that it stops. You love the rain, love listening to it, but only if you’re surrounded by your cozy home wrapped in a blanket. Or if you’re swimming. 
You could’ve handled a soft drizzle, sometimes you even enjoyed walking under the rain, but not this. You swear one of those drops alone can poke an eye out. It’s deafening. Thunder echoes, and you can’t help but flinch. Everything is so loud. Your body is refreshed, but at the same time, your muscles are drained from all the swimming. Exhausted from the workout and the excitement, all you want is a cozy nook with a steaming cup of tea and a good book.
You don’t have much else to do until the rain stops, therefore, you think of Joel. He’d been truly a splendid surprise. Sometimes life sucked but moments like those made it better. After exchanging numbers, he’d promised to call you as soon as he was back home. 
A smile tugs at your lips. You find it cute that he said he called instead of texting you. You’ll get to hear his voice which is a huge plus. 
You’re viciously ripped away from your thoughts when a loud honk echoes above the rain. With your hairs standing on edge, you see a truck with the window pulled down. You narrow your eyes. The rain and headlights create a thick fog, making it difficult to see clearly. 
“Joel?” you call out, hoping that you’re seeing right. 
“Hey,” he answers, leaning over and popping the door open for you. “Hop in.” 
You take the first step, a bit uncertain with your movements in fear that it might be an illusion created by the stormy night, but it’s not. The leather seat under you is solid and so is the man sitting next to you. You wipe your face with your sleeve. 
“Thanks. You basically saved my ass right now. Some asshole stole my umbrella.” 
He grins, “It’s the least I could do.” 
The rain pounds relentlessly against the windshield, the sound a chaotic symphony that drowns out everything else. Thunder rumbles in the distance, and you flinch as a particularly loud crack splits through the air. You jump in your seat. Joel’s hand lands softly on your thigh, sending a jolt of electricity through your body. You look at him, surprised, and he meets your gaze with a small smile.
“Is this alright?” he asks, his voice gentle as he squeezes.
You nod, your heart pounding in your chest. His touch is warm and inviting. Like a soft caress that makes your skin tingle. You feel a sudden urge to lean into him, to climb on top of his lap, and allow his wide hands to roam all over your back. 
Joel starts the car and drives onto the road. The world outside is a blur of colors and lights. Neon signs flicker in the rain, casting a rainbow of colors on the wet pavement. The buildings are tall and imposing, like ancient giants looming over the city. The headlights of passing cars slice through the darkness, creating sharp streaks of light that dance across your vision.
You watch the world pass by in a daze, lost in thought. The rain is a soothing sound, like a lullaby that whispers you to sleep. Joel’s hand on your thigh is a comforting presence, grounding you in reality. 
The rain grows louder, the drops striking the windshield almost violently. Much to your disappointment, he pulls his hand away, leaving you feeling a sudden emptiness. You open your eyes, watching as he shifts gears and maneuvers the car through the busy streets.
You lean your head against the window, watching the world outside blur by in a dizzying whirl. You don’t have much to say and that’s okay. His presence isn’t forcing you to make awkward small talk. You’re completely content just being here with him, a moment you’re positive that you’ll never forget, no matter which direction your relationship with him goes. 
When you finally pull up to your house, dread washes over you. You want to invite him inside for something warm, as a thank you for rescuing you from the rain. But you’re not entirely sure that you should. 
You push back your worries.
“This is me,” you break the silence. "Would you like to come inside for a bit? I have tea and coffee— or perhaps you would prefer wine to warm you up?" 
The last addition was meant as a joke, a little bit of humor to break the tension. Joel’s lips are tightly pressed together, his knuckles almost white from how hard he’s squeezing the steering wheel. After grueling moments of silence, he swallows and turns off the car. 
“Wine sounds great.” 
The sound of your front door closing behind you feels momentous. Ironically enough, you don’t get to open the bottle of wine. You kiss him first, and he follows, pushing you up against the wall with possessive hands. You barely manage to push the door closed. He’s all consuming. Inhaling your chlorine scented skin and drinking lust from your lips. He kneads your breasts in his large palms and you gasp into his mouth, he swallows the sound. Parting away, he licks the seam of your lips before leveling you with a steady gaze. 
“I promised myself to take this slow,” he rasps, panting heavily. When the first hints of laughter tickle the back of your throat, he takes hold of your hips and presses them firmly together. You feel the hardness of his length through the fabric of his jeans. Your eyes roll back. “That feels good don’t it—fuck—I just don’t want to fuck this up, you’re really nice and—” 
“Joel,” you say, cupping his cheeks and forcing him to meet your gaze. “Calm down. You’re not going to fuck this up. We’re in this together. I really want this, you do too. But if you want to go slow, have that wine, we’ll go slow. But I don’t want you to be stressed out of your mind no matter what you choose, okay?” 
He exhales a breath, deep and steady. “Okay,” he says, hands squeezing your hips. “Okay. Sorry ‘bout that. I hope I didn’t scare you off.” 
“You could never,” you say, brushing your lips together. “So, what do you wanna do?” 
“I think I want to show you to a good time, sweetheart.” 
“Meaning?” 
“I want to fuck you.” he swallows. “If you want it too.” 
“Oh, believe me. I do.” 
You catch the curve of a mischievous smile before he crashes into you, claiming your lips in a heady kiss. He pushes a leg between your thighs and your grind down, gasping at the friction. Warmth gathers under the tissue of your stomach, everlasting. It’s been so long since you felt like this. The heat of someone tearing you apart and pulling you back again. 
A pleasant tingle spreads from your legs up your spine. Joel licks into you, his tongue moving over yours. He nips at your bottom lip. You whine when he parts away, his lips leaving a trail of wet kisses down your neck. He feels your pulse with his lips. An involuntary giggle leaves you as his mustache chafes the skin. He teeths at the flesh and you grind your hips down once more, wetness growing between your legs. 
“Sweetheart,” he breathes shakily. “Show me to the bedroom.” 
The trip to the bedroom is a disorienting one; A blur of limbs and kisses being traded with one another. You feel like a teenager, not being able to keep away not even for a second. You don’t bother to close the bedroom door. Joel pulls your shirt off, your ears left ringing at the force of it while your hands fumble with his zipper. Joel chuckles and bats your hands away. The way you furrow your brows goes unnoticed. He dips his head, closing his lips around the tight nipple. 
Your legs start to shake. He flicks his tongue, the tight nub pebbling swiftly. Your head falls back, a deep moan coming from the back of your throat. He sucks and moves his jaw, applying pressure. While one hand rests over the curve of your waist, the other promptly toys with your unattended nipple, pinching and twisting until it’s hard and aching. 
“Shit—Joel—” you gasp, voice quivering. “It’s been a while, it feels so good. Fuck.” 
He parts away from your chest, the tip of his tongue swirling deftly around the areola. His warm breath makes you shiver. “That’s okay honey, I’ve got you.” 
“Take this off,” you mumble in a daze, pulling at the hem of his shirt. You bend your knees to cup his erection, it pulses under your palm. “And take these off too. I want you in my mouth.” 
“You’re killin’ me, sweetheart,” he breathes out. “You’d like that, huh? My cock in your mouth, cummin’ down your throat as you wrap them pretty lips around me—what a sight it would be.” 
“Fuck yes,” you choke out, gently pushing him towards the bed. 
You’re almost delusional in the way you speak and move. He’d painted you a picture you so desperately wanted to make into reality. You tug off his shirt as he kicks off his jeans along with his underwear. A sharp exhale parts your lips when you feel his dripping cock against your lower stomach. Heavy and hot, pressing against your skin. You wrap your fingers around the base and they barely close around him. The tips of your ears burn. 
“J-Joel, oh my god,” you say with awe. “I-I don’t know if I can take you all.” 
His fingers touch the back of your neck and he pulls you between his legs as the two of you tumble onto the bed. He gently squeezes, your body melting at the touch. His lips touch your ear. 
“Sure you can, sunshine. We’ll just take it nice and slow, a’right? I’ll fuck this pretty little cunt with just the tip if I have to, it feels good all the same.” his thumb traces your bottom lip, and slowly, he pushes the digit into your mouth. Your eyes fluttering, you suck his thumb. “Just get my dick nice and wet with this dirty tongue of yours. Been twitchin’ since you uttered the words.”  
He pops out his thumb and leaves wet streaks across your cheek. You move down his body, dragging your nails down the swell of his stomach as you get closer and closer to his length. Joel hisses when you wetly kiss the tip, a bead of precum forming. You wrap one hand around the base and rest the other over his stomach, fingers caressing the coarse hairs that form a sinful trail. 
“You’re so big,” you whisper, lips dancing over the length of his throbbing cock. He moans. “That swimsuit of yours doesn’t do you justice at all.” 
“If you continue to talk like that I’m going to bust,” he chokes, hands fisting the sheets. “Please just—” he swallows. “Just stop toyin’ with me.” 
Answering him with a throaty hum, you dip your tongue into the slit, groaning at the taste of him. His cock twitches against your lips, smearing precum over the tender swell of it. Parting your mouth wide, you take the bulbous head between your lips and flatten your tongue. You feel a vein that curls underneath his length. You groan and take him deeper. He’s been truly blessed, the width stretching you wide, forcing saliva to dribble from the corners of your mouth. Your cunt clenches around nothing. Slick glistening at the insides of your thighs. 
You’re still worried about not being able to take him all. You want to feel every inch of him buried deep inside, and even though Joel assured you that it would be okay, you still want this to go perfectly. It’s been a long time for you both, you want it to feel good for him too. 
“Deeper,” he croaks out and when you look up, you find those gorgeous, dazed out, brown eyes looking down at you. “Can you?” 
Your lids flutter heavily. Nodding, you force your head down, your chin straining as you take him halfway. Your vision blurs with tears. Spit oozes down his length, your throat convulsing at the pressure. 
“You’re takin’ it so well,” he praises through grit teeth, his southern drawl deeper and more noticeable than before. “So fuckin’ well. You feel so good—I ain’t gonna last sweetheart.” 
Encouraged by his sudden honesty, you mentally grin. And with more fervor than before, you bounce your head up and down while stroking the rest with your hand. Briefly you remove your lips, swipe your palm over the head and move it back down, coating the rest of him with slick. You take him again, his thighs tightening around your frame, shaking uncontrollably as he forces his hips to remain still. 
Moans echo from the back of Joel’s throat, filling the room with his deep cadence. He reaches out for your hand and locks your fingers together, holding you and guiding your hand further up his stomach. You’re a bit unbalanced now. His cock spears almost painfully down your throat. While trying to limit yourself with only the half of his length, his cock twitches, and throbs. You repeatedly swallow around him, your hand starting to shake. 
Large drops of precum coat your tongue and go down your throat, his grip on your hand painfully tight. You breathe heavily through your nose. He’s about to come. With a ferality you haven’t felt with anyone before, you push apart your legs and force yourself down against the sheets. The soft fabric doing little when it grazes your aching clit. You moan around him. 
Then you find yourself empty. A gasp rips from your throat at the way Joel pulls you off his cock, breathing in heavy pants. Your gaze drops to his cock. The head a beautiful shade of red, glistening with precome and spit. You lick your lips. 
“Sorry,” he grunts, pulling you so that you’re straddling his waist. He pushes himself up by the elbows, face only an inch away from yours. “I didn’t wanna come just yet. Need to feel you around me, sunshine.” 
He closes the distance and claims you with a devout kiss. He tastes himself on your tongue, hips jerking up in a weak attempt to seek you out. You breathe him in. The scent of chlorine and something so undeniable Joel fills your lungs. 
“Don’t keep me waiting then,” you grin against his lips. He mimics your expression grinning as he lays back down. He guides you to raise your hips, and briefly, worry crosses your face. 
A question quickly follows, “What’s wrong?” 
“I…fuck, it’s stupid. Don’t worry about it.” but of course, he doesn’t let go and fixes you a look that has you spilling your guts. “It’s just been a while and well. I’ve never actually done it like…this.” 
“You never rode someone before?” 
You shake your head and bite your bottom lip. Frowning, he touches the abused flesh with his thumb and tugs it away, smoothing it with the pad of his finger. 
“We can switch positions. It’s okay.” 
“But I want to try it.” your words coming out in a rush, it’s followed by a nervous laughter. “I always did, but my partners usually had other plans. And after a while, I just generally chickened out and stopped asking. I got embarrassed.” 
“Oh, honey.” 
Your eyes widen upon feeling his arms around you, pulling you into a bear hug. His hand cradles the back of your head and you bury your face into the crook of his neck. You kiss the skin. Warmth blossoming in your chest. Both of you suspended in the moment, breathing each other in and out. Soon, his fingers trace a path down your spine, and a chill spreads at the end of your back. 
“Believe me,” he mutters, you feel the movement of his jaw. “I would want nothin’ more than to have you on top of me, takin’ you deep. I’m sorry those assholes made you feel otherwise.” 
You choke out a sound, smiling and shaking your head. “It’s not that they were assholes—well, maybe some of them—but maybe I just wasn’t good at expressing myself. Or I just didn’t look…” you clear your throat, his arms tighten around you, forcing the air out of your lungs. “Anyway, it’s not important.” 
“You express yourself fine if you ask me.” his thumb skims over your clit and you gasp. The digit slides between your folds with ease, he hums in approval. “And it looks like your body is expressin’ itself quite well too.” 
An understanding without words forms between your two. He cups your ass and you lift yourself up by holding onto his broad shoulders. Joel jerks himself with one hand before he motions you to lower yourself. Despite how soaking wet you are, the stretch still makes you wince. You continue a bit further, having to stop when it proves to be more painful than pleasurable. Sliding his one hand back to your front, he leisurely circles around your clit. You clench and dig your nails into his shoulders. 
“That’s it, go slow sweetheart. We have all the time in the world. You’re doin’ so good for me. Spreading yourself around my cock like that.” 
Feeling yourself becoming loose, you sink further down, only having to stop again a few inches later. You groan in frustration and Joel puts his mouth on your breasts, sucking. 
You draw in a long breath, “Is that all of it?”
Joel looks up and allows himself to smile. 
“Well, nearly. Just a bit more.” 
His mouth moves down and captures your nipple between his lips. Your walls flutter around him, adjusting to his size. With a moan, you sink down completely, his hips flush against yours. Joel breaks away from your tender skin, both of you moaning loudly in unison. His head falls back against the bedpost, staring at you between heavy lids. He looks completely blissed out. 
Wanting more of the debouched expression, you ever so slightly move up your hips and sit back down again. His eyes squeeze shut, his throat trembling with a wrecked groan. You’re not doing any better, your eyes rolling back as your muscles start to spasm. 
“Jesus fuckin’ Christ, you’re wet. Shit. Can I move, sunshine? Please?” 
“God yes,” you breathe out, your head spinning. His hands cup your rear, helping you to lift halfway off his cock before lowering you again. Electricity runs up your spine. Your cry out his name, pulsing around him uncontrollably. “J-Joel, I don’t think I’m gonna last,” you say apologetically. 
“That’s okay,” he groans, voice hoarse. “I ain’t gonna last long either.” 
The two of you capture a soft rhythm that works for the both of you. Joel guides the sloppy roll of your hips, and you do your best to move up and down his cock. Your legs aching due to the swimming. You want to go faster, the burning between your legs growing with every grind of your hips. There’s an itch deep inside. An inch that you can’t seem to scratch with the way you’re moving. You whimper and fix Joel a pleading look. His cock twitches. 
“You want it harder?” he rasps, lashes fluttering. 
“Yes,” you exhale. “Give it to me, Joel. I want you to fuck me hard with this big cock of yours.” you make a show of rolling your tongue and pressing your hips flush against him, grinding yourself into his pelvis. 
“The mouth on you, Jesus.” he drawls but with a smile. Your heart skips a beat, a grin of your own touching your lips. 
You’re confused when Joel sucks two fingers into his mouth. Not that you’re complaining. You see the pink of his tongue, the glistening spit that coats his thick fingers. Pulling them out, Joel massages your asscheeks and spreads them, you moan as the open air hits your other hole. He brushes two wet fingers over the rim, making you quiver. 
“Feels good?” 
You nod and he slips one finger, your entire body jolts, your breath catching in your throat. However, you don’t have time to focus on the new sensation. Joel presses his feet into the mattress and with fervor, he starts fucking up into you. Railing you until you’re gasping for air and left feeling nothing else but the heavy stroke of his cock. You shout his name, your lungs burn. 
“That’s it make a mess of me, darlin’. Such a good fuckin’ girl. All you need is my help isn’t it? Look at you, doin’ so well for me.” the words he continues to mutter force out a visceral reaction from you. You claw at his chest. Dragging them down as his cock spears into you over and over. The slick sounds echoing throughout the room. You notice him watching where you two connect, he looks hypnotized. His lips parting as he watches his cock disappear into your wet cunt. 
He pushes his finger in deeper and you’re suddenly aware of how full you feel. Your arms that keep you upright buckle and you fall down, covering him like a blanket. An apology touches your lips, but before you can, Joel’s lips are already on your temple, kissing and whispering praise all the while continuing to fuck you senseless. He pulls out his finger and slightly lifts your hips for a better angle. You whine at the loss and hear him chuckle. 
“Another time, sunshine.” 
Your walls start to spasm and contract, his hips start to stutter. His strong steady strokes becoming sloppy and rushed, he pushes you down against him rolling his hips and grinding deeper into you. Fuck. Your head is spinning violently. Your cunt dripping and making a mess of his cock. He rubs into you again, the dark hairs that crown his length stimulating your throbbing clit. 
A silent scream shakes your chest. You see white before you squeeze him tight, the force of it making his breath hitch. You gush around him. Slick rolling down his cock and seeping into the sheets. You don’t even notice the wet tears smeared all over your face as you nuzzle him. Waves of pleasure wash over you again and again. Leaving you shaking and panting for air. Joel holds you still, his hands comforting against your heated skin. 
Your jaw goes slack when he gently thrusts up again, shushing you when you let out a whine. 
“Where do you want me?” 
It takes you a while to understand the question. Lifting your head, you give him a blank stare. His eyes glimmer with amusement, a lopsided smile forming on his lips. 
“Look at you,” he coos. “Pretty little thing completely fucked out. You look beautiful, sweetheart.” 
You’re pretty sure you actually purr at his words. You leisurely smile. You lift your hips and push them back down, both of you groaning in delight. He keeps uttering pretty from under his breath, his own composure breaking down. Another orgasm rolls over you, albeit much softer this time, like a fire warming your skin. You sigh happily, kissing him on the lips. 
“Where?” he asks, a bit more desperate this time. 
“My mouth.” 
“Oh, fuck.” 
Everything is sloppy and uncoordinated. You’re not even sure how you make your way down between his legs. You’re still throbbing when you suck on the tip, your eyes closing as you taste the mixture of you and himself. You take him as deep as you can, feeling him at the back of your throat. He holds your head but doesn’t force you to the more. 
“Sweetheart, move your tongue.” 
Your skin prickles at how hoarse he sounds. You happily obliged, stroking the underside of his cock with the flat of your tongue. He sucks in a sharp breath, his chest expanding, and on the exhale, he lets out the loudest moan of the night. It comes from the depths of his lungs. His hips jerk, finally spilling down your throat, you swallow him greedily, your walls pulsing with a need to be stretched again. 
He comes and comes and comes. There’s so much of it. It floods your mouth, trickling down your chin. You breathe heavily. His cock throbs on your tongue and god you love the feeling. 
“Fuuuuuuuuuck, that felt so good.” his hands fall limp to his side. With a grin, you release his cock and swallow once more, more audibly this time. His dark gaze drops to your lips. He shakily wipes the come that spilled from your lips, popping it back into your mouth. You lick at the digit eagerly. “I should thank whoever it was that stole your umbrella,” he mumbles. 
“We should get them a cake,” you tease, kissing the empty patch on his beard. “So…should we get cleaned up and then…talk?” 
He squeezes your hips and then follows the curve of your spine. “Sounds like a plan, sunshine.” 
You end up sharing that bottle of wine after all. 
2K notes · View notes
imabeautifulbutterfly · 2 months
Note
Hello friend! I'm in love with your writing!!! 😍😍😍😍😍
Idk if your requests are still open but I'd like to request something if you don't mind!
I LOVED the hurt/comfort/whump fic you did for Hunter. Could you possibly do something like that for Tech x Reader?
Maybe Tech and the reader are on a mission together or maybe they've crash landed somewhere or something. The reader is badly hurt and Tech has to take care of her and treat her wounds and save her and comfort her in his own special Tech way 😂😍
Oh @arctrooper69 what can I say? I mean ... I think a thank you is just not enough. You have made my day with this request, so I took my time to give it the proper respect it deserves. I hope you like it. If it wasn't exactly what you were looking for I do apologize.
Please note that you are always welcome to send in requests. As this is a special request, it will be stored in my One Shots & Mini Series Master List.
The story got a little away from at 1400+ words, but I hope it's close to what you wanted.
And who doesn't love Tech. I love this adorable nerdy man.
Love oo,
His Promise
Warnings: Snow, injury, blood, explosions, crash, grief, fear, anxiety, hurt, fluff, near death, feelings of being a burden, getting in the way, I think that's it. If I miss any, please let me know.
Please note the explanation of Snow, Tech gives, was taken from the National Snow and Ice Data Centre.
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AO3 Link   |   OS & MS Master List |   Main Master List  
The wind was picking up, as the snow piled down and was doing everything in its power to keep you and Tech from being rescued. You looked at the snow as it came down in sheets outside the entrance of the cavern he found, mesmerized by its beauty. 
“It’s beautiful and so calming …” you said slowly, your body already weakened from your injury and loss of blood.
“What are you talking about?” Tech did his best not to let the slowness of your breathing or even the breathless way you were speaking affect him. His anxiety was already high, and his fear of losing you was nearing his breaking point. 
“The snow…” you kept watching the soft flakes float down as they gently landed on the ground, piling on top of one another, almost as though they were unable to survive without the comfort of those around them. 
Tech glanced up to see the blizzard which prevented you both from leaving. As he watched the speed of the wind, he calculated it would’ve been nearly impossible for Hunter to bring the ship close to them. As he looked at the used bandages already soaked through with your blood his fear only grew. You needed immediate medical attention, more than he could provide at the moment, or it would mean certain death for you to be out here any longer.
Frankly, he couldn’t stop picturing the way you lunged forward as the ship crashed. He was helpless to watch you, as your body fell forward against the console, as a piece of the console broke off and jabbed you in your abdomen. It all happened too fast and somehow in slow motion. He could still hear your scream piercing his ear as he pulled you off the console.
He tried to stop the bleeding right away, however when he went to look for the med kit, he realized only too late that it had fallen out of the shuttle when the engine and the side compartment blew. All he had left were his emergency bandages and gauze and they weren’t nearly enough. 
At that moment, he couldn’t care less about how beautiful the snow was or how calming the blizzard looked from inside a cavern, that he only had to find because that piece of osik shuttle decided to have a fuel leak, catching on fire. 
Within seconds he had needed to drag you out of the relatively warm and safe shelter you both had, grabbing what supplies he could before the ship blew up. Thankfully, he had been able to send a message to Hunter when the shuttle crashed initially. So it was only a matter of time before the Marauder showed up, but …
His eyes fell back to the bundle of used gauze, his anxiety climbing as he knew you needed more first aid than he could provide at the moment. You needed the Marauder, you needed his med kit that he carefully stocked and kept safe on board the Marauder. At this point in time, he didn’t care about any kriffing snow.
“Snow is an accumulation of packed ice crystals. The condition of the packed crystals determines a variety of attributes, such as colour, temperature and water equivalent. As weather conditions change, the packed ice crystals can change as well, and this affects the characteristics of snow.”
You chuckled at his ability to pull forth information like it was nothing. Unfortunately the chuckle turned to coughing. Only causing you to dribble more blood out of your mouth, you wiped away what you could. He didn’t need to see that, “Tech …” you coughed again, “turn off your brain for two seconds, don’t think and just look. Just watch.”
He pulled the heater closer towards you, “Stop talking and try and warm up.”
“Tech…” you held his hand, “just look.”
His eyes drifted up your body, till he locked eyes with you. They were pleading for him to listen and to just have him appreciate what you found mesmerizing. He tried to follow your advice, focusing on the snow, but all his mind kept drifting back to was this blizzard that was preventing you from getting the medical attention you needed, so desperately. 
He shook his head focusing back on your abdomen, trying to stop the bleeding. Trying his best to keep you with him. 
“Tech,” you gripped his wrist “… stop …”
“No.”
His tone was firm and full of anger, why did he agree to let you come with him? If he used his brain instead of allowing his feelings for you to dictate his actions, you wouldn’t have been here. You wouldn’t have gotten hurt. Why did you always insist on following him? Why didn’t you just stay behind on Pabu? Simply because you wanted to see the galaxy, and he was excited to show it to you? It was his fault you were here. It was his fault you were in danger. It was his fault he … was going to lose you.
“Tech …” you squeezed his wrist. He removed your hand from his wrist, placing it off to the side as he focused on your wound. He didn’t deserve your touch, he didn’t deserve to have you comfort him. It was his fault you both crashed on this force forsaken planet. 
There was nothing you could do as you watched Tech pull away. 
From the moment you met him on Pabu, the way he worked with Phee as he helped rescue the villagers when the rogue wave was rushing towards the island, and the way he helped make everything more ‘efficient,’ you couldn’t help but fall in love with him. You wanted to learn from him, to listen to him go on with regards to anything and everything. Only problem was you never had the courage to actually utter the words you were dying to. Phee told you time and time again, ‘later’ was never a guarantee, and now as you lay on the cold floor of the cavern you were in, bleeding out of your abdomen, you realized how little time there was left. 
  Tears welled up in your eyes, as you realized you needed to unburden yourself. You needed to tell him what had been pressing on your heart before you didn’t have the strength to, it didn’t help that you were feeling weaker with each passing second. Also didn’t help that you could tell he was angry, actually a more accurate description would be infuriated, more than likely at you.
“I’m sorry.” You offered the only apology you could. “I’m sorry I’m such a burden, even now.” You took in a shuddering breath as Tech stopped moving his hands for two seconds as he focused on your face. “I’m sorry for always pestering you to teach me,” you offered, your voice barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry for not listening,” a tear slid down your cheek, “I’m sorry for putting you in this position. To have to feel responsible for someone like me.” 
He shook his head, his teeth clenched as his anger, grief, fear, and sadness overwhelmed him completely in that moment. He pulled off his helmet and placed it beside him. 
“Stop.” It was his only command.
“Please, I …” you coughed again, trying to not cough on him. “I just want … I need to …”
He cut off your speech as his hand cupped your cheek, “Cyar’ika …” tears welled up in his eyes, “you were … are never a burden.” He couldn’t believe that’s what you thought of him… that’s what you believed he felt for you. He shook his head again as he pressed his forehead to yours. “I have loved every second we have spent together. I made a point to record every moment with you, because they were more precious to me than breathing.”
You held on to his bicep, keeping him close as tears streamed down your cheek, “Tech … I … I don’t want to go… I want … I want to stay here with you…”
“You’re not going anywhere. I just got you …” his tears landed on your cheeks, mixing with your own, “you’ll be okay. I promise.”
“Hold me… please… just hold me until…I can’t feel your arms anymore.”
“I’ll hold you longer than that,” Tech pulled you into his arms, lifting you off the ground as he felt your body grow weaker. Your eyes were closed, your body was growing pale. He was so focused on you, he didn’t hear the voices calling out to him, at least not until he felt Hunter’s hand on his shoulder. He didn’t wait, there were no more seconds to lose. He rushed towards the Marauder with you in his arms, he wasn’t going to lose you. He promised. He was going to bring you back.
AO3 Link   |   OS & MS Master List |   Main Master List 
Tag list:
@liadamerondjarin @badbatch-simp24@spicymcnuggies@lady-ren @firstofficerwiggles @darkangel4121 @discofern @kavecika @monako-jinn-stories @ladykatakuri @avathebestx @theroguesully @furyhellfire66 @carodealmeida @ciramaris @sprout-fics @twinkofthedink @dindjarin-mandalorian @ulchabhangorm @tortor-mcgee @vodika-vibes @clonethirstingisreal
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pathetic-sapphic · 9 months
Note
Thank you for doing my request! Your write wonderfully. And of course it’s ok that you do it for the male characters! U don’t need permission from me this is your account and your writing, you do what you want :) and also if you’re gonna do it can you add Grayson to the list? Tysmm 🤍
Arcane men with a S/O who has anxiety
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VIKTOR likes to use the slow and gentle approach when helping you during harder times. He understands what it's like to have doubts and feel as if all eyes are on you, just waiting for you to make the wrong move or fail. He will ground you by gently taking hold of your hand and kissing the back of it, whispering how everything is going to be alright and that he is right next to you. If he sees you panicking and your breathing getting heavier, he will lead you outside to get some fresh air. Viktor will sit next to you on a bench, winding his arm around you and drawing soft circles along the length of your spine until you've calmed down. Overall, he is a very gentle and patient lover who will be there for you no matter what, always reassuring you and helping you regain your peace. Viktor is forever your safe space.
''There we go, darling. It's okay, just breathe. No no, do not apologize, there is no place I'd rather be than right here next to you. Trust me. You know I'd never lie to you. Remember how many times have you stood by my side whenever I felt panicked or lacked faith in myself? Exactly, so now I'm going to do the same thing for you. I love you and I want to help you, I want to be your safe space. Now, just take my hand and tell me what's bothering you. I'll always be here to listen, sweetheart.''
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Let's be honest for a bit, JAYCE is a himbo through and through, meaning that it might take a while for him to pick up on your anxious tendencies. He might even mistake your nervous fidgeting for excitement which definitely doesn't help your situation. You're going to have to tell him outright what you're struggling with, but once you do, he is your biggest supporter. Jayce is good with words and he is hopelessly in love with you so he is quick to beat down any feeling of self-doubt you might feel. He is basically your rock, always standing by your side and letting you lean on him whenever you need it. Jayce is like a loyal puppy, always following you and making sure you have whatever your heart might wish, he basically treats you like royalty. He is at your beck and call, ready to help you out or just hold you whenever you feel bad or your anxiety gets the best of you.
''What's wrong, babe? Come here, sit on my lap, and tell me what happened. Oh, baby, I wish you told me earlier you struggled with all this, I would have been able to help you sooner then. Tell you what, whenever you feel like that again, feel free to seek me out and I'll help you feel better in no time! Don't be ridiculous, you're much more important than my job, I wouldn't be where I am if it wasn't for all of your support during all these years. Now, let me do the same for you and be your support, alright? Good, I love you so much, babe.''
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By being a leader at such a young age and carrying such a heavy burden, EKKO is well aware of how hard it can be to try and mask any doubts or insecurities you may have. He could always rely on you whenever things got too hard and now he wants to be there for you too. Once you reveal all the things that have been plaguing you for a while, he pulls you into a long, tight hug. His heart hurts just by thinking about all the things you had to go through on your own. How many nights have you spent crying yourself to sleep while he unknowingly slumbered away next to you? He decided that it ultimately doesn't matter because it'll never happen again. He knows you'd feel bad or as if you're bothering him by confiding in him about your worries but he reassures you that you could never be a burden to him. What would truly bother him is his beloved suffering in silence while he is unaware of all the hardships they're going through.
''Oh, firefly, why didn't you tell me you've been struggling so much? I could have been there for you and helped you! It doesn't matter, it's not your fault, just don't do it anymore, okay? You are never a burden to me, don't you dare think that. You deal with just as much trouble as I do and even if you didn't, that still doesn't mean you can't rely on me when you need it. I'm here for you, babe, and I want you to look for me and tell me whenever you're not feeling well. I'll always make time for you.''
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VANDER is often very busy so you might think you can hide your troubles from him since most of the time he is either off running the Last Drop or taking care of his kids. However, he is a very observant and intelligent man, not to mention a very caring one so he quickly picks up on your sour mood. He will invite you to a storage room behind the bar, asking Benzo to take over for a bit. Vander will sit next to you on a squeaky old couch and take your hands into his, laying them upon his lap. Carefully, he will ask you what's got you so upset lately and once the floodgates open, he wastes no time in pulling you into his embrace. He will kiss the top of your head and rub his big hands along your back, cursing himself for letting it get this bad. Vander calms you down and comforts you, making you promise him that you'll make sure to communicate your feelings to him in the future. He hates seeing you cry and is ready to do whatever it takes to make a smile reappear on your pretty face.
''Come here, darlin'. It's okay, I've got you now, you can cry as much as you like. I'm sorry I didn't notice how bad you've been feeling sooner. It must've been so hard for you, my love. Shh, don't apologize, it's not your fault that you're feeling this way. We all feel like that sometimes and I'll always be here for you whenever it happens, alright? I love you so much, my darlin', now let me see that beautiful smile. There it is, it's like the sun is shinning right at me. You are my sunshine and I won't let anyone dim your light or take away your warmth, got that?''
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SILCO can be surprisingly kind behind closed doors. It's no secret that he has a soft spot for you and will treat you as a priority, along with his daughter of course. He quickly picks up on your fidgety and nervous form but trusts you to confide in him when you're ready. When that doesn't happen and he notices your state getting worse with the days passing by, he invites you to his office. He will make you sit in his lap and explain your troubles to him while he tentatively listens and clings to your every word. Once you're finished, Silco will gently cup your face and lift it so your eyes meet his. He will tell you how proud he is of you and how grateful he is for your trust. Next, he will reassure you that your troubles are never an issue to him and that you always have a safe space in his office. Whatever you may need, whatever your heart may wish, he is ready to grant it as long as it means it will return that beautiful smile to your lovely face. He dedicates the rest of the evening to making sure you're feeling relaxed and well-rested, banishing any negative thoughts out of your pretty little head. He may be a criminal mastermind, but to you, he is your kind and gentle boyfriend, always ready to serve you and dedicate his time and effort towards assuring your comfort and happiness.
''Come here, darling. Yes, sit right here and look at me. Please? There you are. Now, are you ready to tell me what has been bothering you so much lately? Lying is futile, my dear, do you think I haven't noticed how fidgety and distant you've been for the past few days? I just thought I'd give you time to approach me and confide in me. Seeing as that hasn't happened yet, I am now giving you an opportunity to explain what has been going on inside that pretty little head. I see, I wished you'd told me all that sooner, it would have saved you the trouble and suffering, beloved. No matter, I'm here now and I am aware of your situation, thank you for trusting me with this, I know it can be hard to talk about such things. Now, how about we take a bath and have dinner together, hm? It'll help you relax and take your mind to a hopefully more pleasant place. Perfect, wait for me in the bathroom, I'll be with you in a minute, my dear.''
a/n: i will add grayson in a separate post for arcane milfs :)
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vaspider · 2 months
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So, when we moved out here, Davos and Rumba had a couple of initial rough interactions (by which I mean that Davos snapped at Rumba bc he was insecure about where he belonged in this New Place and Rumba is a big scaredy baby), and with one thing and another, most of the time it just ended up being easier to keep them apart. Rumba loves Cap, and Davos loved being around Mila, and we just let things be. We had other things to handle, so we didn't push it.
After Mila passed, we kinda realized that Davos is now lonely for other dog company (Mila has always been the only dog he's ever really liked) & we had the bandwidth to start actively working on reintroducing the dogs. We started reintroducing them through the gate, short visits with lots of high-value treats and praise, focusing on making each interaction brief and positive.
Today, after months of very slow work, we had Rumba and Davos in the same room for about half an hour. They got cheese, Davos played with his ball with Rumba in the room and didn't get toy-defensive, Evie threw Davos' ball while I petted Rumba's ears and Davos didn't get Mom-Jealous. Rumba was nervous but started wagging his tail while watching Davos play with Evie. Lots of praise and pets, and then...
Rumba play-bowed to Davos. Twice.
Davos got all excited about the bowing and ran to sniff Rumba's butt, which was too close too fast, and Rumba ran to hide under Evie's desk. We pulled the dogs back with some cheese, and ended the interaction with praise, pets and a few more treats and making sure Rumba's anxiety over Davos being Too Close was gone before he left the room.
I am over the moon about this. We're nowhere near done, but I had honestly been thinking that we were only gonna get to "yeah, they're okay to pass each other in the hall or whatever" and I'd have to be okay with that bc Rumba is a big sweet baby and if he's nervous to be around Davos, I'm not gonna force him. This is genuinely the first time I really felt sure that these two could be friends.
I'll try to get video at some point, but right now my attention is on the task at hand when we're working with them.
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fuckingstrange · 4 months
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hiii :DD i have a small fanfic idea i was hoping u could write 👀 ?
hotch x non-bau!male!reader in which hotch has a case and the victims seem similar to Reader, loke either personality or looks?
for the whole case Aaron is just stressed out and worried even though Reader is in a completely different state than the case/unsub. so he's extremely relieved when they finally catch him.
then when hotch finally gets back home, hes extra affectionate with Reader and just sort of clings on to him for a while yk.
sorry if this is too specific or something, but I'd just rly like ur writing and this idea has been stuck in my head for a while 😓
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Treat(ing) him right
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WARNINGS: Talk of a case, no violence, poor baby Hotch, pain mentions (neck, legs), sex joke made by author, sweetheart hotchner, kissing, undressing each other (non-sexual), cuddling, implied nonverbal Hotch
WORDS: 760+
PAIRING: Aaron Hotchner x m!reader
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a/n - Ty for the request and sorry it took so long !!
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Hotch is currently driving home late at night after a two-week long case, each mile he makes him feel like more weight is being put on him. This case hurt more than it should, though Rossi keeps trying to reassure him that his worry and pain is reasonable.
One of the victims looked like you. Nearly identical. They even had the same personality you showcase. While he knew that you were simply back at home and in an entirely different state away from all of this, he still couldn't help but be scared for your safety, the worry and anxiety eating at him every night that he decided he should let you sleep instead of call you.
This case fucked him up, over, backwards, might have as well even bent him over, with how stressed he got. He's left with countless mental and physical pain, such as a painful kink in his neck from how long he spent up late at night, looking over the same files over and over in hopes of catching the guy sooner. The leg pain he feels was so bad, it was visible, even when he tried to hide the pain. The team was surprised he could still stand after running nearly four blocks at full sprint to catch the Unsub after he ran.
Hotch makes it home after a grueling 10 mile drive from the airport, slinging his go-bag over his shoulders and making it inside. He's quick to get over to the door, but slow as he opens it and enters, grabbing the bag and carefully setting it down as he locks the door behind him. He stands there for a few minutes, looking around the empty home. He nearly grabs his gun, but then you walk out from the bathroom.
Your eyes light up as you exit the restroom to find Hotch back home, making your way over to him in a quick manner, leaning up to kiss his cheek while saying “Hey, handsome.” He responds with a soft kiss on the mouth, leaning back for a second before deciding to give into his needs and pull you into a hug. He's not big on hugging, so this surprises you a bit, but you're aware of how fucking awful those cases can get. You wrap your arms around him in return, feeling his head slip down to hide his face in the crook of your neck. You smile and give him a light squeeze, hand absent mindedly running up and down his back as you ask “How was the case?”
Hotch doesn't respond for a couple minutes before mumbling “dreadful” in response. You frown, moving a hand to the back of his head to guide him to lift it so you can look at him. He lets you guide him up, gazing down at you in silence despite knowing you want a further explanation. He decides to lightly shake his head, trying to communicate that he doesn't feel like talking about it, or talking in general, at the moment. While this bothers you, you don't force him. Instead, you offer to help him get dressed for bed because of how late it is.
He takes you up on the silent offer with zero hesitation, giving a silent nod and letting you pull back from the hug so you can make your way to the bedroom with him. Hotch keeps a gentle hold on your hand the entire way, not wanting to stray far.
You pull him into the bedroom, turning to face him and pulling him closer by the sides of his suit jacket, which you then slip off his shoulders and toss it onto the desk chair not far away. Hotch leans in to press his lips against yours as you undo his shirt, his arms coming up to lazily rest on your shoulders. You smile into the kiss, loving how affectionate and clingy can be after being gone for so long. He might hate that quality about himself, but it might as well he your favorite.
You strip him down to his boxers and undershirt before letting him do the same to you, noticing the way he leads you off into bed as quickly as possible. He always does that when he wants to hold you, and who are you to deny him?
You each slip under the covers, now a mess of tangled limbs and occasionally giving each other kisses wherever you can. It's about an hour or two before he nuzzles his head into your chest, indicating he's tired. Your hand comes up to play with the hair on the back of his head, making soothing stroking motions to the short black strands to lull him off to sleep. You stay awake for a few more hours, simply to admire him, pressing small, feather-light kisses wherever you can. You swear you'll marry him one day.
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mrs-snape5984 · 3 months
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“I have nothing left. And all I feel is this cruel wanting…”
“And as much as I'd like to feel like I belong here, I'm just as scared as you.” (“Lost in paradise” by Evanescence)
I have to put a trigger warning (suicidal thoughts and swear words) on this post and I’m doing this before I’ve even written my text. I’m sorry. I only need to scream my pain out.
1, 5 years. 535 days. 12840 hours. 770400 minutes. 46 224 000 seconds. Approximately.
1,5 years ago, my life became my personal hell. I feel captured in my own useless body…captured in my goddamn dark room, captured in my fucking overstimulated mind. And who’s my sadistic prison guard? It’s this cruel bitch of a disease ME/CFS!
Wasn’t it enough yet?! Am I such a horrible human being, that I really deserved even more shit in my life?! There have been so many ordeals in my life…so many rough times, disabilities and diseases…so much anxiety and stress to deal with!!! What have I done wrong to deserve all of these dreadful things?! Seriously, what have I done?!?
I must be some kind of a magnet for disasters…I can’t explain it in any other way to myself. Maybe, I’ve just yelled “here!” for all these experiences…maybe I’ve volunteered accidentally?!? Watching your parents fighting night after night until you have to intervene again and again? Here! Being sexually abused at the age of 12 years? Here! Being raped at the age of 15 years? Here! Multiple surgeries and endless pain? Here! Domestic violence? Here! Multiple Miscarriages? Here! Months of pregnancy staying in bed at the hospital? Here! Fighting for the lives of your extremely premature born children without a partner on your side, even though they were the result of ICSI treatment? Here! Colitis Ulcerosa? Here! OCD? Here! Disability? Here! Several other severe illnesses? Here! Getting ME/CFS and being doomed to a life in darkness and silence? Here! Here, here, here!!!!!!!!! Fuck me sideways!
Is it me? Am I the problem?! What have I done wrong! Tell me, God, what shall I do to end this madness…to finish this suffering?! I’m already broken!
And yes, I know, I have three wonderful children….and I’m forbidding myself to leave them behind…to leave them alone. They need their mother. I know that all. But seeing the sadness in their little faces every day…noticing the disappointment in their voices every fucking day…it’s breaking me.
I’ve tried to have dinner together with my children tonight. Therefore, I wore my noise canceling headphones, my sunglasses and I told them to be as quiet as possible. And still….still….fuck! Their movements, their voices, when they spoke all at once…the light in our dining room…everything was too much for me!! I got disoriented…overwhelmed by this overstimulation. All I could do, was to close my eyes and to wait until dinner was over. I couldn’t eat or drink, I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t interact with my children the way, they deserved to be treated by their mother! So…what kind of mother am I now? I’m just a shadow of the mother…of the person, I’ve been, before ME/CFS started to destroy me. I’m only a pathetic failure. My children deserve more than that!
I’m hopeless…and all I want is to let myself fall…just like Julia lets herself fall into the tempting abyss in this heart wrenching drawing, which I’ve commissioned from my dear friend @madfantasy. I’ve told Mani to make Severus come and save her. He’s there…holding her back…grabbing her in the very last moment, screaming “Stay with me, Jules!”. Severus is her last anchor. Severus is my anchor. I won’t let myself fall with him by my side.
Mani, my precious friend, I can’t tell you how grateful I am, that you were brave enough to give my cruel fantasy a face. I know, that my dark thoughts can be overwhelming, especially for someone, who’s also struggling with their own mental health. I’m apologizing for the way, I’m pouring out my grief and despair over your marvelous artwork. But you’re the only artist, who’s capable of getting a grasp on my emotions and transforming them into something so powerful, so delightful like your art. Thank you for everything, my dear. 🫂🫂 (Fly fly)
🖤Severus & Julia🖤
🖤Sevy & Jules🖤
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chaifootsteps · 5 months
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Hi, hi! I've been a longtime follower of your blog, but this is my first time sending in an ask because of anxiety. You're the most consistent blog that keeps up to date with Viv and her work. As someone who first saw Viv through the Die Young animation, and watched the HH pilot when it was first released, I grew disillusioned as s1 of Helluva Boss slowly aired. It was mostly because I didn't really enjoy the Stolitz ship and I believe the Erin Frost drama had come out (god bless Erin - she, Ken and everyone else deserved so much better). Plus the world-building and character development was just so off.
I know people have said this before: the concept Viv has is good, but the execution sucks. There's a vision but the product is so damn juvenile. I'm ace, and I became attached to Alastor due to him being ace as well, but we all know how Viv responded when the ship wars were happening. I couldn't stand the constant sex jokes or swearing in HB since when was it required for an "adult" show to have that?
Thank you for the episode leaks. Only got to see ep 1 before they were removed. The only thing that made me laugh out loud was the Niffty gag where she stared dead into the camera. I also liked Adam a bit? Sure the "original dick" thing went on way too long, but he was funny too. I surprising enjoyed his song - the lil fist bump he did with Lute was cute, and I like Lute but knowing Viv's record... eh. There was this cool shot where Adam flew up and Lute and those golden angels go behind him and spread their wings making Adam look like the biblically accurate angel. Except Adam himself ruins the effect because what the ever-loving heck is he wearing? I hate it.
In terms of shipping, I wasn't into the Huskerdust interactions. Angel wasn't flirting, that was sexual harassment. In the pilot it was okay because their interaction was brief and Husk pushed Angel off. Chaggie was... something. I genuinely feel that Chaggie could've worked had they not been established as a couple in the first place. The reason why Charlastor (and I guess Charlentious?) happened is because they had chemistry and their interactions could be read as a romantic interest. Since Chaggie was already established, there was an expectation for them to have those, but they weren't delivered and we know well that they weren't supposed to be a thing in the first place. Have Vaggie still be her bff and bodyguard, but show those moments where she genuinely cares for Charlie's well-being that indicates she's in love with her, yet Charlie is completely oblivious to everything. Actually, reverse harem Charlie sounds pretty funny to me.
Btw, armchair psychology anon, as a person studying psychology in my final year of college, dw about people taking issues with your speculations. NPD and other personality disorders are ego-syntonic, which means that the individual's behaviours line up with their beliefs, hence why PDs are only diagnosed during adulthood once brain maturation and personality development is reached. The only exception to this is ASPD (which NPD shares a category with called Cluster B along with histrionic and BPD) as you can diagnose a child with conduct disorder that can become ASPD when they're adults. Cluster B PDs are terribly demonised by media and the public despite the volume of research (I blame misunderstanding and ignorance). Viv could have it or could not; it's just that she shows signs of having it, and that's it. Even if she doesn't, she's still an awful person. Idk what happened in her childhood or some point in her life for her to become like this, but it doesn't excuse treating people like crap - oh wait, ain't this her characters in a nutshell?
That's all I gotta say for now. I hope it's okay to send more like this in the future; I'd love to be a specific anon but idk what's already taken lol. Take care, Chai, and I hope you have a good day/evening.
By all means, send as many as you've got! Because this was a delight to read.
Let me know when you come up with a name. I'll give you a placeholder one for now.
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heartfullofleeches · 2 months
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Heyo, waited a bit to see if you got my last ask I guess tumblr ate it oh well. Or maybe you went to sleep lol
I'm glad you're doing better, mental health is a battle. Glad you're getting some weed tmmr we all got ways to destress.
Hectic few days, got into a car accident nothing too bad just some bruises on my left uh tit? (Gender neutral is chest but that's boring) And today some lady who owns this vegan Cafe I went to for the first time tried to make me join her cult. Which sucks since her samosas were Hella good. Uhh and I also ran out of anxiety meds.
I volunteer as tribute for a kind and loving partner to Adonis, I promise to cuddle and kiss him after he drinks my piss!
Should I continue using emojis 🥳 or should I switch to kaomojis ୧⍤⃝💐
-Adonis piss anon
I'll have the house to myself tomorrow too which'll be chill. My mental health is all over the place but writing keeps me stable - even then I need a break every one in a while. Onto more important things, are you good??? I've been in a minor car accident before myself and while not being hurt badly I still get anxious at times on the road. I'd like to hear more about this cult stuff cuz what the fuck but I understand if you don't feel like explaining
Adonis would die a happy butterfly if he had a darling that treated him good and let him drink their piss
You can use whichever you prefer, but I kinda like the vibe of the one holding the flowers more
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thegreymoon · 2 months
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The Story of Minglan
I have so much work to do, it isn't even funny, and here I am, doing none of it. So, instead of just sitting in front of my computer and letting anxiety eat me up, I'm going to see how married life is treating Minglan.
I have three shows that I am actively watching right now. It's a battle to choose which one to watch at any given time. The struggle is real 😫
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Well, he's feeling energetic the morning after 😅
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LMAO, OK, so I know that the implication here is that he has great stamina and wore her out, but, honestly, my first thought was that she must have been doing all the physical work of their first night together, so she's now tired and he's up and about doing acrobatics 🤣🤣
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***
LMAO, I'm on her side here!
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Sleep above all!
To hell with the shitty in-laws.
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What a thing to tell your newly-wedded wife!
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Yikes 😬
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LMAOOOO 🤣🤣
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Hopefully he, ahem, learned other skills at the brothel instead 🤣🤣
He's so fully of nonsense, I cannot 🤣🤣
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Ugh, these vipers.
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The sooner they move out, the better.
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Who?
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AGAIN, WHO??
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Honestly, my stance for this drama is that anyone who wants to commit suicide should be allowed to 🙄
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Wait, is she implying that Gu Tingye is sleeping with this woman?
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Because, seriously? SERIOUSLY??
Now they are straight-up lying to stir up trouble in their marriage! AND THIS IS, LIKE, THE FIRST DAY!! 🤬🤬
Minglan, don't be an idiot. Don't believe them!
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Oh, and the lot of you are soooooo worried about how some random servant who is sleeping with the master of the house is going to live 🙄🙄
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I cannot with the what-the-fuckery on display here 🤬🤬
GU TINGYE, WHERE ARE YOU?
THIS IS SLANDER!!
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Even if any of this was true, WHO GIVES A FUCK??
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OK, so, personal story time. Skip for TMI, or something. IDC.
When I was nineteen, I was living away from home for the first time in a dormitory and I had these roommates. I was a very stupid, naive, sexually inexperienced, frontal-cortex-still-entirely-udeveloped nineteen. I was studying architecture, the hours were ridiculous, the living conditions were atrocious (and I mean no hot water, communal toilets for the entire floor, no privacy whatsoever, perpetually drunk, eternally partying next-door neighbours bringing creepy men over, it was absolute hell with no recourse) and I was really, really struggling to keep afloat.
My self-esteem also wasn't the greatest and I'd spent my entire teens feeling unlovable and unattractive because, idk, I didn't look like Naomi Campbel, and was told from numerous sides that being some random average girl was just not enough. My mental health went down the drain that year and it never really recovered. I hadn't been doing particularly great even before that, but it was like that whole hellish mess snapped some final thread in me and it was just a downward spiral after downward spiral for years after that. It took an additional ten years to get diagnosed and put on meds because everyone is just so stupid and when you are young, you don't know how to advocate for yourself, or even that you should be doing so.
And then there were these roommates.
There were three of them, all older than me, and we lived in this tiny twelve-square-metre room with three single beds (two of them had to share because one of them was a friend who was there "illegally" because she had lost her right to accommodation for repeating the year and didn't want to go back to her parent's home for the time being and I was too stupid to put my foot down, report her and tell her to fuck off). The two legal ones were sisters.
And let me tell you, I was so in AWE of them! All three were tall, beautiful, put together and confident! They were incredibly popular and had men crawling all over them. I felt pathetic in comparison. I wasn't jealous, not exactly, I just felt inadequate and held the two sisters on this incredibly high pedestal because they seemed so smart and gorgeous (not so much the friend, because even though she was beautiful too, she had this self-absorbed, self-centred, flighty, shallow character that I just couldn't respect). The sisters, however, were everything I wished I could be, especially the younger one.
That particular sister, let's call her M, was also studying architecture. She was in year four (compared to my miserable first year) and she was doing so well, her work was amazing. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She was the epitome of elegance, intelligence and beauty in my eyes. She could do no wrong. Hero worship was in full swing, I couldn't imagine she could be any more perfect even if I tried.
And then a few months into our hellish living arrangement, I found out that she was fooling around with this worthless guy who was cheating on his long-term girlfriend with her. They had an on-again-off-again relationship. They had broken up before because he refused to leave the official girlfriend, but for whatever reason, she was in love with his mediocre ass and kept going back to him. I was shocked when the whole story came out. There she was, the most perfect girl I had ever known, letting this cheating loser string her along like that. It was gross.
Let me tell you, that pedestal I put her on came crumbling down so fast because even my infatuated, naive, sleep-deprived and chemically imbalanced brain knew this was very wrong (it took me several more years and another incident with a woman I was super close to and had adored for years to teach me not to mess with cheaters and the people they cheat with because they are always fundamentally deficient in some hidden (or not so hidden) ways and that whatever damage they have that lets them act in this way will eventually drag you down too, but I digress).
In my shock, I asked her, why? Of all people, why him? This girl was so gorgeous, she could have had any man on the planet. She said they were in love. And I asked her, if he loved her so much, why didn't he break up with his girlfriend (mind you, the girlfriend fully thought they were getting married sometime in the near future). It seemed so obvious to me, if he truly loved her, he should have ended his previous relationship and dated her openly.
AND SHE TOLD ME THIS EXACT SAME LINE. THIS COMPLETE BULLSHIT OF A MANIPULATIVE EXCUSE.
Apparently, the shitty cheater couldn't break up with the girlfriend because the girlfriend had sworn that if he broke up with her, she would never marry anyone else and stay single her whole entire life. And he, the poor baby, couldn't live with that, so he couldn't leave her 🤯🤯
I had never heard something more ridiculous in my life. It was so absurd, and it was so world-altering for me that this perfect girl, the girl I had thought was so put together and so incredibly smart, was TAKING THIS UTTER STUPIDITY SERIOUSLY. I still remember it so clearly, even after all these years. It didn't make sense then and it still doesn't make sense now. It's the XXI century!! Break up with the woman you don't love!! What the hell is this nonsense?? WHO THE FUCK CARES IF SHE DECIDES TO NEVER MARRY ANYONE ELSE? IT IS NO LONGER YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM!!
Also, all these people were in their early fucking twenties, the absolute delusion that any of her threats (if they were even real and not made up by the loser cheater because all cheaters ever do is lie) were in any way a real and enforceable thing that would come to pass. BUT EVEN IF SHE NEVER DID GET MARRIED? SO FUCKING WHAT? NOT YOUR CIRCUS, NOT YOUR MONKEYS.
And there she was, sneaking around with this garbage man because he gave her this nonsensical excuse. The stupidity is unending. I cannot. I could not and will never be able to can 🙄🙄
And back to the actual show now.
WHO THE FUCK CARES IF SHE NEVER MARRIES? WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT BLACKMAIL IS THAT? FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF AND THEN KEEP FUCKING OFF SOME MORE UNTIL YOU DROP INTO A DEEP BLACK HOLE AND KEEP DROPPING UNTIL YOU REACH THE EARTH'S CORE AND DISINTEGRATE IN THE LAVA.
Ugh.
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WHO THE FUCK CAAAAAARES 🤬🤬
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Also, let's not forget that these are the very people who wanted to murder Manniang and Gu Tingye's actual children with her. They are so concerned with the status of a lower-class servant sleeping with the Young Master and how she will raise her head in public and go on living. So, so, so concerned 🙄🙄
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Minglan, please tell them to fuck all the way off.
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I am beyond pissed.
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OMFG.
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I am beyond sick of these wretched bottom feeders and their "path of survival" 🤮
BITCH, DIE.
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True! Let's all ask him!!
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I am sure he will just love all this slander.
This whole thing is just beyond WTF.
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What exactly were her parents supposed to teach her?
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Just take in some random prostitute for her husband the day after she was married? What the actual fuck is wrong with this woman? Worms for brains, I swear. The audacity is astounding.
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OH MY GOD, THEN GO DIE ALREADY
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I am so tired 🙄
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This dumb fucking bully.
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The best thing that ever happened to women was emancipation and no longer having to live in their in-laws' homes.
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LMAO, how many statuses do these mistresses that the wife is forced to support even have?
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Fuck off with this bullshit.
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MINGLAN, ARE YOU SERIOUS
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LMAO, wait, what?
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They accused him of raping this woman?
Speechless.
Gu Tingye, please take your wife and fuck off from this place.
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LMAO, Gu Tingye keeps making good life choices!
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Gu Tingye is not among my favourite characters by a long stretch, but I do appreciate him so very much!
Go, king! Protect your wife and stay winning!!
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***
Don't you just love it when utterly disgraceful people start blathering about not getting the respect they feel entitled to 🙄
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Gross family.
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Note
AR team cheering their S/O up
(GFL) M4A1, ST AR-15, M4 SOPMOD II, and M16A1 cheering up their S/O
Looks like it's time for another T-DOLL FUN FACT!
TDFF 4: T-Dolls can come back even after their body is destroyed, as long as their core is recovered. The Anti-Rain Team are some of the only exceptions. They will permanently die. Also, M16A1's part...If you know, you know...
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M4 walked out of the repair bay, sighing to herself.
This mission had too many close calls, but thankfully, everyone got out safely and all their objectives were completed. That's all she could really ask for.
(S/O) "M4!"
Her eyes widened in surprise as she saw S/O running down the hallway towards her. The distraught on their face seemed to fade as soon as they saw her.
(S/O) "I-I heard what happened during the mission..."
M4 solemnly nodded.
(M4A1) "Sangvis got the jump on us. It appears the information given to us was faulty."
(S/O) "Faulty? You almost died, I'd think that's more than faulty!"
S/O's voice quivered, which would've ached her heart, if she had a physical one anyway.
Pushing her equipment towards her back, she grabbed her S/O's hand and held it tightly, reassuring them.
(M4A1) "It'll take a lot more than that to do us in. Don't worry."
(S/O) "I-I'm sorry, I know I'm being selfish but...please. I don't want you to...to-"
She rested her forehead against theirs, closing her eyes, as her hand moved to the back of their head and pressed it closer to her.
(M4A1) "I know, S/O...I know."
The two said nothing as they stood together in silence in the hallway. M4 pulled back as she gave them a gentle kiss on their cheek.
(M4A1) "I'm quite selfish myself, you know. I only go out there to make sure everyone here at Griffin will be safe. You included."
S/O gave her a sad smile as their hand refused to let go still.
(M4A1) "I have to go put my equipment up but...Come by my quarters later. We'll talk, okay?"
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STAR dropped by S/O's quarters, readjusting her casual clothes to properly cover her shoulders.
She had just gotten back from a dangerous week long operation, no doubt S/O was worried sick.
And she was proven right when they opened the door and almost tackled her in a hug.
(S/O) "Thank god you're okay!"
(ST AR-15) "Heh, of course I am."
She gently pushed them off as she smiled back, S/O letting her inside.
(ST AR-15) "Sorry to worry you. I'll probably have to go out again later this week once the Commander gives the order."
(S/O) "No, don't apologize. It's just part of your mission after all."
STAR sat herself on their bed and motioned for them to sit next to her. She promptly gave them a hug from the side, putting her head on their shoulder.
(ST AR-15) "When it's over, I'll ask the Commander for some time off, just the two of us, okay?"
S/O put their hand over theirs and relaxed into them, being slowly comforted by their touch.
(S/O) "I...I think that'd be nice, STAR."
They said nothing and remained in their position for several minutes.
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SOPMOD jumped excitedly into an unexpecting S/O, which they yelled in terror at first before realizing who had their arms around them.
(SOPMOD) "Miss me?"
(S/O) "SOPMOD, you're back!"
Her teeth were shining as she grinned, unashamedly putting her head into their neck.
(SOPMOD) "Come on, I'll treat you to the Cafe! After this mission I'll get one heck of a paycheck!"
S/O had almost no time to voice their worries as SOPMOD melted them away with her loving energy, almost bouncing up and down for them to get a move on.
However, she knew how scared S/O was ever since she left the base. This operation wasn't exactly going to be a smooth one. Many T-Dolls already had to go through extensive repairs.
But SOPMOD didn't mention her anxiety or S/O's. At least not right now.
Right now, they both needed each other.
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The screen flashed with bits of static, M16's quizzical look taking up a majority of it.
(M16A1) "Uh...This thing on? Why the hell's it so staticy? How are machines like us walking around while I'm using a piece of sh....?!-"
ZRRRT!
The screen flashed again, this time with M16 lying back in a chair, waving hello.
(M16A1) "Yo, S/O! If you're getting this video, then your lovely girlfriend is out there kicking some ass right now, and won't be home for a while."
She was playfully moving her arms as she spoke, to give the message a dramatic flair with her smile. M16 almost fell off the chair a couple times as she caught herself without missing a beat.
(M16A1) "But! In this video, there's a little gift! What is it? Well, if you have it next to ya, get ready to open it in one...two...THREE!"
She suddenly flashed her hand, her ring finger showing a silver band with a yellow gem in the middle.
(M16A1) "TADAH! A ring from yours truly! I couldn't get an Oath Ring since, y'know, that's a little too passionate for just a video message. Plus, you should be giving me that anyway."
She laughed heartily before it trailed off, her voice getting softer.
(M16A1) "You're probably worried sick about me, and to be honest...I'm worried for you too. But, don't worry! This super badass isn't going anywhere, and...And she always has you in her heart...core, whatever, you know what I mean! Just make sure to have a bottle ready for me when I get back, alright S/O?"
(M4A1's Voice) "S/O, please do not allow 'Super Badass' to drink herself to death upon our return."
(M16A1) "What the-H-HEY! DON'T BE LISTENING IN, THIS IS PRIVATE STUFF HERE!"
She grumbled as her flustered expression turned to the screen again, reaching for the camera.
Before she turned it off, she sighed and gave a loving smile to the screen.
(M16A1) "...I love you, S/O. Cya in a bit."
...
S/O's fingers slowly traced the ring on their finger, the video ending making their room dim in brightness.
They said nothing as they wiped away a single tear from their eye.
(S/O) "Hah...T-Thank you, M16...I'll be waiting..."
...
M16 pushed back the white bangs from her eye, her pupil flickering as the video turned off.
(M16A1) "..."
She said nothing as her hand clenched, feeling the ring still there and standing up.
(M16A1) "...Wait for me, S/O."
M16 walked away from the ruins and disappeared into the darkness.
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khaire-traveler · 3 months
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Its me @solarbeamz again! very confusing experiece i had recently related to a tarot deck... (also thanks for the advice on the last ask! still dont know what the presence was, but im still researching!)
I was pulling tarot about deity work (aka trying to connect with a VERY strong passion related presence i'd been experiencing recently), and instead ended up getting Athena? I'd made a few prayers around my finals week for advice, and a few burnings as tribute (due to school and a grattitude and such,) so i wasn't too suprised. But it was still shocking.
She asked me to make a piece of art related to my trans identity (or so i interpreteted) and when it was all done and finished, she said it was alrigh but not what she was looking for, and then left.
Is this normal for Athena??? or did i somehow mistake her? (i assume it was her because i pulled out a cark from my botany tarot deck which just straight up had her depicted on it, and she mostly confimed her presence?)
Hey, Solar, thanks for the ask! Glad you liked my last answer. :)
In my experience with Athena, that doesn't sound like something she'd do. If she encouraged you to create an art piece and you did, especially about something so personal, I can say with almost 100% certainty that she wouldn't react that way. Typically, for me, Athena is encouraging, persistent, and compassionate. She has always encouraged me to express myself, and when I do so, she has been more celebratory than anything. However, this is just my personal experience.
***Read the following with a respectful and non-judgmental tone; I promise I meant all of this with the best intentions!!!***
Instead, I think your interpretation may have included some personal projection of your own feelings. I know that sounds kinda weird, but hear me out. It's common for personal biases to make their way into the interpretation of a reading, especially a reading done for ourselves. Our relationships with ourselves often leak into the way we interpret the cards. If we are struggling with our identities or negative self-talk, we're likely to be harder on ourselves than necessary. I have experienced this myself many times, and it's something I'm still working through.
I've also noticed that, to attempt to confirm our interpretations, our anxiety or mental state will create the feeling of an entity's energy reacting a certain way, even if that entity isn't reacting like that in reality. This is where the struggle with "anxiety versus intuition" comes the most into play regarding divination. It could be that you had a similar experience where your anxiety over the situation potentially led you to feel that Athena's energy left, despite that not being the case, or if she did leave, it may not have been in the way you interpreted it.
Of course, if none of this sounds likely or resonates with you, then know you're welcome to ignore my suggestions. I'm not the end all, be all authority on anything (I'm not an authority at all, in fact), so take what you wish from this answer and leave what doesn't fit. This is all based on personal experiences that I've had, especially with divination specifically, and comes from the perspective of someone who struggles with anxiety and trauma.
Regardless, maybe talking to Athena again about the situation would be a good idea. If you feel that was her actual reaction, let her know that it hurt your feelings and how it did so. Tell her it's something you would appreciate avoiding in the future. You can say you've greatly appreciated her presence and assistance in your life as well, to end what you're saying more positively.
That said, I hope you were able to find something helpful in this. I wish you the best on your journey and hope you're able to work things out with Athena. This definitely doesn't sound like her to me, but I encourage you to trust your intuition in the situation. What feels truthful to you? Why does it feel truthful? Has Athena ever treated you similarly in the past? Have you ever had experiences where someone rejected you for being trans/expressing yourself before (this question can help determine if you may be projecting unintentionally)? These are great questions in figuring out what you feel is truthful. Take care, Sol, and have a good day/night. <3
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coachbeards · 2 months
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no but the way that the show treated beard's repeated drug use as another "oh he's just so wild and quirky 🤪" joke instead of the self-medication and self-harm it actually was....
beard being high during a match because he accidentally consumed drugs he wasn't aware were out..............that's not funny. being a drug addict, getting high without being aware you consumed drugs in the first place must've been genuinely terrifying. while high on shrooms, the best thing you can be is calm and relaxed...beard had to go to work. he had to pretend to be okay. he couldn't let anyone see, since his literal career would be at stake if it was discovered. dealing with the anxiety of an unexpected high (one you can kind of see beard blame himself for. "i drank tea from the wrong pot." instead of framing it like jane left it out and he didn't know. he framed it like it was his fault. and "it won't happen again." again, like it's his own fault) that's not funny. that's not a little haha beard you're so wild <3 especially since two episodes prior, ted was having a panic attack during a match, and all the characters treated that with way more sensitivity than beard's situation. even ted, the one who is aware that beard's life was almost ruined my drugs, just made a joke about it.
making jokes that implies beard routinely gets high with their bus driver.... that's not good, y'all! smoking toad venom with the bus driver??? and ted brushing it off too and the show treating it like a joke? the bus driver also being revealed to be beard's drug dealer being framed as nothing more than just a quirky beard thing. can i just say i hate how much they refused to delve into beard under the excuse that he's just enigmatic and quirky? yeah.
in sunflowers, beard refers to shrooms as his medicine. and yes, meth + shrooms aren't exactly in the same ballpark. but if i heard my best friend, whose life was ruined by drugs to the point where i had to rescue him and nurse him back to health, said that he took shrooms as a self-medication tactic, i'd be a touch concerned. but since they never framed it as an issue, despite beard's backstory (and brendan had headcanoned drug addict beard from the beginning, so it's not like it just was put into the plot for the sake of mom city,) ted didn't make a big deal out of it. he was seemingly fine with beard's drug use, and even agreed to do drugs with him.
but also........................a man devoted to not only ted, but to the team........i just don't think he'd be soooo casual about taking several illicit substances and he wouldn't do it all willy nilly.
especially considering nate leaking ted's panic attacks to the press (which......not that beard was ever nate's target, but he could've easily leaked beard being high, too. which...again. would've tanked his career), beard wouldn't be doing drugs with the bus driver or traveling with illegal substances on a team related event. he'd be aware that his actions have consequences, clearly given his prison record, and i just don't think he'd be so......open and uncaring. beard was guilted by being high during a match to the point where he had to come clean, as it was something eating him alive.
if beard's drug addiction was revealed, especially the port vale match or using the bus driver as a drug dealer or carrying illegal substances on team trips..........it wouldn't just be his reputation and job at stake. it could ruin ted's career, having been aware of his criminal record and his repeated drug use and didn't do anything about it. it could create damage for rebecca, for employing a man without carefully combing through his records (drugs are..............obviously very frowned up in society in general, but within the sports world? yikes.). the team would face struggles as well. beard wouldn't risk any of that. but not only would he not risk it, he wouldn't do it so openly and freely in the first place.
i do not care that brendan waved it away with the excuse that meth and shrooms aren't the same thing. a recovering drug addict using drugs to canonically self-medicate isn't exactly a good thing. beard has substance use disorder, and i wish it was treated better within the show, by the other characters, and by the writers.
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marshmallowprotection · 2 months
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Can you please write a one shot on vet yoosung having to deal with a patient like this guy
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"Dr. Kim, you should be warned, the patient today was listed as a bite warning."
"I'm sure we can handle him. He might just be anxious at the vet. It's no problem! I'll take it at his pace so he doesn't feel crowded. I'd hate to feel cornered when I don't feel good and I can't communicate why that is, too! Is it the mastiff from last time? He wasn't as bad as they'd claimed, you know! He just needed some belly rubs before he turned to butter."
"Dr. Kim, I'm starting to wonder if you're afraid of any animal at all!"
Yoosung chuckled. "No, no. Of course not. I don't have anything to be afraid of! Animals can sense your anxiety, you know. That's one of the first things I learned before I even got far into my studies. If you're as calm as you can be, they'll feel better about trusting you. It isn't clear cut and perfect, but it does make a difference in my experience."
"You might be surprised with this guy."
"C'mon, how bad can he be?"
The nurse nodded and went to wet the patient from the waiting room. It wasn't long before she turned with a crate that was filled with the howling and growling of a dog. Yoosung noticed that the nurse was wary, trembling as she went to the unlock the crate and free the beast from his cage, but he offered her his hands.
She took that offer in an instant and took a step back so he could do it.
A fraction of a second later, a Chihuahua burst out of the crate and began to bark at him in incredulous speed. He didn’t seem happy to be at the vet, that was for sure, but the rate at which his body was shaking was bound to make anyone assume he was filled with rage the likes of which no human had ever seen. 
Yoosung knew what most people assumed when they saw a yapping Chihuahua. They expected to see a dog that wouldn't stop trembling or howling in disgust. Frankly, a quick Noogle search would tell them that the reason why their dog was responding the way it was because they were overstimulated, overwhelmed, or cold.
They weren't filled with anger nine times out of ten.
He knew these animals weren't filled with rage, and it was sad that most people were afraid of them for that reason. He had to imagine that it would be frustrating to be a small dog, constantly poked and prodded as if you were nothing more than a toy, and anyone would angry after being treated that away—even if you didn't want to be. 
The Chihuahua yipped at him but Yoosung was patient. He took a seat in front of the dog and kept his hands to himself, seeing how long it might take his patient to get the barks out of his system with the space to do what he needed to do. He knew that wouldn't be all the comfort the dog needed to feel better, but it was a start, and he wasn't the type to rush an appointment if it wasn't an emergency to start with!
"Hey there," his voice was gentle as the dog continued to shake and tremble. "We've got plenty of time to figure out what's wrong, little guy. I won't poke and prod you until you establish your comfort level. I don't like going to the doctor, either, but the least I can do is make the trip less cold."
The growls continued. 
This wasn't his first rodeo with an animal that wasn't comfortable. But, this was assuredly the first time he interacted with a tiny dog that clearly hadn't had its boundaries respected. He knew what that felt like... and it wasn't fun to have his buttons pressed until he felt cornered!
Undeterred, Yoosung continued, "I would give you treats to help you feel a little more comfortable, but for us to run the test today, you can't have anything to eat. But, I promise if you let me take care of the scan, I'll give you something fresh to eat. Your owner said we could do anything to make sure it was comfortable for you if we could and I bet a plate of chicken will do the trick, huh, little guy?"
Quietly, he offered his hand to the Chihuahua. Most people would have expected the dog to bite them on impact, but he didn't let any fear show on his face. "Don't worry, I won't grab you without asking first."
He was somebody who took care of animals for a living, and he knew that showing fear over a bite or a scratch wasn't worth it. He could take it, and he would rather take it if it meant they trusted him fully instead of feeling like nobody listened to them. It took a moment, but the dog sniffed his hands, and the growling suddenly subsided with it. 
A smile appeared on Yoosung face as he let the dog nuzzle its face against his hand. "There we go, that's much better, huh? Let's get you taken care of so you can go home and eat to your hearts content all night long, hm?"
"Dr. Kim... how did you do that...?"
"Simple! I let them decide that I'm trustworthy on their own before I go poking around. They're just like you or me, you know? That's what I told you before. Patience helps."
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Why I'd Prefer Izzy's Revenge: An Essay
A recent exchange with @bookshelfdreams about Stede's Revenge vs. Izzy's Revenge got me thinking A LOT. About how people were surprised I'd prefer Izzy as my boss over Stede. And thinking back to my professional life, yes, I absolutely would.
Stede's Revenge is disorganized to a degree that would make it impossible for me to function there. I literally left my job - which paid quite well and had nice benefits and colleagues I liked - over being told to "find myself something to do" one time too many. It both gave me anxiety AND made me lose my respect for my superiors for not being able to organize my work properly. Now I have a job where each morning my boss tells me exactly what he wants me to do on any given day and I've never been more productive or less anxious about a job.
AND I'm the same with my personal life as well. (It involves a discussion of kink, so the rest is under the cut).
I play around with online Doms a lot. I usually do scenes with anyone who contacts me unless they insist on crossing my hard limits. It's a huge part of the thrill to be treated as "public property" by any stranger who contacts me.
But. The only Doms I bond with and form longer relationships with (which sometimes stop being just about kink and evolve into us just chatting about random stuff) are those who insist on punishing my every infraction, no matter how minor. I know very well that I'm easily distracted and don't have the best attention span, so if I forget something I was ordered to do, I need to be punished. That's how I learn to do better, that's how I grow. And that's how I know they care. If a Dom lets my mistake slip, it makes me feel like they don't care enough to even be bothered to come up with a punishment. If someone does care enough to point out my mistakes and correct them, I usually feel so damn elated that I don't even really need aftercare at the end.
So yeah. There totally are people who would prefer Izzy's Revenge. There's structure there. And order. And punishment can really make one better. (Sure, Izzy overdid his punishments a lot, but he's such a hardcore masochist himself I'm not surprised he forgot not everyone can take as much as he can.) Izzy's Revenge would make me feel safe, Stede's Revenge would make me feel anxious every single day.
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