#“cringe culture is dead” until someone actually posts cringe
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"MLP infected AUs are cringe/boring, we've all seen scary ponies before, where the whimsy???"
You fools. Zombie AUs are about having fun making freaky designs and building upon character dynamics by putting them in a high-stress setting.
Like. My brother in Christ we're all "cringe" by definition of being in a fandom surrounding small marketable plastic horses. Take your prep attitude back to school, bury it in the ground where it belongs with a hatchet, then come back when you can let people have fun in peace.
#“cringe culture is dead” until someone actually posts cringe#like as someone who became comfortable with dark concepts by using mlp as a medium?#and grew up with nearly every gen except G2#yall need to learn to block tags and move on#esp since you guys won't tag your random bashing for us to filter out#mlp infection au#<- see? now you can block that tag and never have to see this (or any other related) post again! :3
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So I was trying to find some random Sonic OCs off Google to draw today because, man, art block killing me. I would like to prefece that I, myself, have Sonic OCs.
(This is all old art, except for my sonic.exe oc, but alas)
I think they're fun and a good way to express your creativity, whether that's writing them to date a character that you like or to be the most popular/powerfulest person EVER.
But with my not very deep dive into the 3 page of Google, I realized that even the really well draw or intriguing OCs are "cringe" and "Mary Sues".
With this, the notion comes that OCs are inherently cringe and not worth making unless you make them the most boring and unspecial person ever. Like: "This is my Sonic oc, Joe the cat. He works at a desk job, and he likes coffee." Making just your average Joe can be fun, but the thought that ALL OCs have to be fucking boring is dumb.
This thought is everywhere. You scroll through Google for 30 seconds, and you see articles about sonic OCs being a sickness, like this article from the medium. Like the drawing that a 10 y/o posted on deviant art about their green sonic will irreparably damage art.
This mindset actually hurts art in the long run. If you get told over and over again that the self insert you make is cringe and you should never draw again then, inevitably, you're going to stop drawing.
I was someone actually who thought for a very long time that my OCs shouldn't be special, or have super cool powers, or even have heterocromia. A good lot of my original characters were boring because I was worried about making a Mary Sue (Thanks CyberSans). It's actually a very deliberate choice that my self-insert/persona, Mephy, cringe.
Yes, I took things from jjba and Sonic to make this weird combo of Mephiles, Diego, jouta, and myself. I did this to push myself to make something "cringe," and anytime I think about removing his tail, I remember why I gave him one.
After I disregarded being seen as cringe, did I start to like designing characters. Just the want to make something I like without being worried if it's cringe or not. I think the freedom to make things like this is very important for young artists (or just artists in general). It's very liberating.
I took the making things purposefully cringe into my TF2 OCs. I gave them on the noise names, and I gave them back stories that were edgy. I enjoyed it. It made me happy.
With the acceptance of being seen as weird, I almost forgot what things were "cringe." I've just been seeing so many people happily making sonadow fan kids that I forgot people think that's cringe. I forgot that edgy OCs is cringe. I forgot that just being into something odd is cringe, and that makes me sad. I honestly thought that we got past thinking that darkspine the evil hedgehog (original character, do not steal) is cringe.
It's just sad. These OCs are cool. And yes, there are sonic OCs that aren't seen as cringe, like Ian Jr, S.N.T., or Trevor the hedgehog, but those are the exceptions. When was the last time you heard something say that Rosechu was their favorite OC? That's right, you haven't because sonichu is very much "cringe" (and don't bring up that Chris-chan did some fucked up shit, y'all didn't like she before she went to jail or did any of that fucked up stuff.) Why can't someone just make someone weird?
Concussion: Stop seeing things as cringe, and cringe culture is NOT dead until we kill it ourselves.
Anyway, I think I have written enough, and my English teacher would say that this is an emotional rant and that I need to rewrite like half of this. I think one of her exact words on a paper I wrote was "zack, this sentence makes me want to smear poop in my hair."
Here is some old art is some of my favorite little guys I found off Google (:
#rant#sonic#sth#sonic the hedgehog#sonic oc#sonic ocs#sonic rant#original character#original characters#cringe#cringe culture#i think i can write a paper on this tbh#oc#ocs#cringe cultural isn't dead no matter how many times you say it#it lives untill you make sure it's dead
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on the topic of early dA... see the reason why I’m so protective of young artists now is bc the overall culture of the art community as a whole during the late 2000s to early 2010s was so extremely hostile towards beginners and kids like.. when I first started posting traditional art online in 2009 it was not only socially acceptable to verbally attack (not critique, Verbally Attack) young artists it was lowkey encouraged and I saw Dozens of literal children get cursed out and called horrible names and told to stop drawing and to kill themselves and etc by adults bc they Drew Arms Weird or w/e and then being gaslit into thinking that They were the bullies and the bad guys for getting their feelings hurt and told that they just “”couldn’t take critique”” and sometimes it would escalate to the point where it would turn into a straight up harassment campaign against the 13 y/o who Dared to get upset about some 25 y/o loser with no actual desire to see them improve calling them names and the few people brave enough to actually go “hey um that’s kinda not ok and going too far actually??” would have a harassment campaign against Them too and I remember putting something like “feel free to be harsh and insult me/my art!!” in my bio even though I Knew I was extremely sensitive bc I wanted to seem like Someone Who Could Take Critique(TM)
and plus back then the “cringe culture is dead” mindset wasn’t really a thing yet (hell “cringe culture” wasn’t even a popularized term until maybe 2016) so Bad Art Blogs/Accounts were all the rage and the only Socially Acceptable reaction to having your art stolen and mocked behind your back to thousands of strangers on the internet was to just smile, force out a laugh, and nod; react in any way that’s Slightly more negative than that and you were labeled an Oversensitive Butthurt Killjoy and You would be blamed for having the audacity to post art that The Mods Didn’t Think Was Good or w/e bc how Dare that 12 y/o kid draw things that aren’t extremely photorealistic and detailed!!! how Dare that beginner artist not have a 100% perfect grasp on anatomy the very first time they pick up a pencil!! how Dare a young artist putting out free content for fun not be perfect!! if you don’t come out of the womb producing Van Gogh-quality artwork you deserve to be bullied and harassed, apparently!!
and so all of that made me incredibly insecure about my own art for Years and when I first started drawing digitally I wouldn’t post anything I drew online bc I was terrified of being dogpiled; I remember when I first made my art blog in 2013 and for over a year I was living in Constant paranoia that my art would be showcased on a Bad Art Blog and that everyone would hate me bc my anatomy wasn’t great or w/e. but now, looking back, posting art online is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made and I’ve allowed myself to grow as an artist and I’m glad I didn’t suppress my hobby to appeal to people who don’t and will never have my best interest in their mind.
so basically: I’m here for young artists, I’m here for beginners, I’m here for people struggling to learn how to draw, bc nobody was there for them back then. my advice: Please keep drawing. Please keep sharing your art with the world. Please don’t be afraid of imperfections. despite what Art Snobs might have hammered into your brain, it is Not a fucking crime to not have a complete grasp on anatomy, or not to be well educated in color theory yet, or etc. you don’t deserve to be bullied or mistreated for it. you never did.
#wak#spice tag#this turned into a ramble but. I feel Very Strongly about this#vent /#art positivity#so others can see it I guess#long post#essay post
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CAN I PLEASE HEAR ABOUT GAVIN AND SAM.... i saw eating corpses and angels and went oh! well i must know
yes absolutely I’m so glad u asked!!!!!! i love talking abt my horrible ocs LAWLZ- I actually have Gavin’s backstory in my writing tag but I would love to talk abt him and Sam more now bc they are very dear to me… basically Sam is one of the last remaining members of an ancient alien race that are like planet sized and have crazy magic and shit. They sort of just hung out in space until people on other planets begun to notice them and worship them as gods, with the aliens deciding to try and fill the role, watching over the planets and their inhabitants. Sam and Gavin live on a fucked up post apocalyptic future earth populated with spirits and demons and shit but more on that later. A big reason the planet is so fucked is that Earths inhabitants began to fear Sams species and decided to try and kill them, mostly succeeding, except for one child who rocketed to Earth and got stuck in a much smaller and more comprehensible form until their “awakening”. Sam always felt connected to the deities though, and became one of the last remaining believers. He would always go out and look at the corpse of Earths former protector in the sky and pray before going to bed. One day, a single tear fell from its eye and splashed Sam and all the memories just flooded back. She basically went like “OH SHIT IM GOD I GUESS” and became a biblically accurate angel kaiju thing because cringe culture is dead lol. It doesn’t make a lot of sense but hey we ball- I don’t have a lot of the story planned out OOPS, but a lot of it is based on spirituality and how religion can’t solve your problems, you have to take care of them yourself, meant in a literal sense, because Sam waited most of their life for someone to save her, but ended up becoming the very thing he prayed to every night. Idk man I’ve had this OC since 2017 maybe I get to go a little wild
about Gavin, this is where we come back to the spirits and stuff !!!! he shares his body with a demonic cat spirit in a sort of parasitic symbiotic relationship. This cat was literally just some roadkill stray, but as the fury and ambition built up in its soul, it became a horrific and tyrannical monster with no trace of its older self. It believed that since it’s life was taken away with such little care, it should be allowed to do the same to others in order for its power to grow, so that eventually it can get back the life it believed it was owed. This demon stalked Gavin his whole life because he saw the spark of that same ambition and rage in him, and decided to get him killed so it could take his body and use it for its own gain. Gavin also believed that he deserved to continue living as long as he wanted to, so when this spirit offered to bring him back for the price of complete control over his own soul, he took the deal. The demon needs living souls to be able to gain enough power to communicate with the higher level spiritual beings, so he would make Gavin eat animals and people in order to get that from him. After a while though, Gavin started to kill by himself. He was abused for most of his life leading up to his death, so he started to kill and eat random people that he saw his abusers in. He believes that not only do these people owe him their lives, that he’s doing the world a favor by getting rid of them. Over time, he loses most of the compassion he had in the past and becomes more and more like the demon he shares his body with, because after everything he’s been through, the world owes him that, doesn’t it? Basically, he’s awful, but he’s also very silly and he has a partner who’s the only person he actually likes LOL
This is incomprehensible I’m so sorry I hope this made even a shred of sense- whablalgavkq
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Cringe Culture is inherently rooted in abilism but some of nyall aren't ready to hear that.
#i posted this on Twitter before and yall autocorrected to nyall so I did the same here. it drives the point home#actually autistic#actually autism#cringe#cringe culture is dead#cringe culture#feminism#how long until someone insults me or makes fun of me
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Songs From Musicals Y/N Would Sing To The Evans
If fanfictions were musicals, these are the songs I could see the reader insert singing to each of the Evans. I understand that this is cringy but cringe culture is dead, pls just let me enjoy my stupid little daydreams lol.
Warnings: Mild Language, Brief Mentions of Death (specifically su*cide and murder), Mentions of Cancer, Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics
The songs are linked at their titles!
Tate Langdon
I Dreamed A Dance from Next To Normal
Yes, I am aware that I am taking this song way out of context
No, I do not care. I’m looking at this from simply a lyrical point of view
It has all the sad ghost mommy issues vibes
Like, pre-teen me during my Aaron Tveit phase would have 100% associated this song with Tate
I’m sort of half and half on if Tate would actively try to get someone to die to be with him, which is why There’s A World isn’t included, but I can see someone head over heels in love with him considering death as an option to stay with him forever
This song just gives me the self indulgent fanfic vibes
“I'll wake alone tomorrow / The dream of our dance is through / But now until forever love / I’ll live to dance with you / I’ll dream my love / I’ll live my love / And I’ll die to dance with…”
Kit Walker
I Don’t Need A Roof from Big Fish
Kit Walker is too good for this world, just like Edward Bloom
The thought of him being traumatized and having nightmares after his time at Briarcliff? Heartbreaking. But him coming home after his cancer diagnosis? That hits even harder
That’s when I imagine this song would come into play
Sitting and watching him sleep while crying and singing this song
Because you can’t let him see that you’re terrified of losing him but you can’t pretend you’re not
Kit is one of the only Evan characters I can see having a healthy enough relationship for this song, and that hurts
“All I need is you and you forever / All I feel is true and absolute / I don’t need a legal deed to help me play my part / I don’t need a roof to hold my heart,”
Kyle Spencer
One Boy from Bye, Bye Birdie
A classic song for a classic boy
Pre-Death Kyle gives me very much high school sweetheart vibes
Like this is the golden retriever boy who would’ve given his girlfriend the pin off his letterman jacket
The song also kind of gives me foreshadowing feelings when it says “one boy to be with forever and ever,”
Like, you loved Kyle. You made him a promise to be there forever
But will you be able to keep that promise after his Frankenstein-style resurrection? Is he really still the same person, or has he changed enough that he isn’t the same Kyle he was before?
Mostly this song is just cute tho
“One boy, one steady boy / One boy to be with forever and ever / One boy / That’s the way it should be,”
Jimmy Darling
Somewhere That’s Green from Little Shop of Horrors
I have a whole lot of thoughts about this one!!!
Jimmy is attractive, like we can’t deny that, but he’s not really gonna be considered “marriage material” because of his job and his hands
The 50′s are ruthless like that
Imagine, though, realizing that he’s the one you want to spend the rest of your days with despite society’s ideals
Just dreaming of domestic life with Jimmy Darling, that’s the whole post
I know a reader insert would do it to escape the reality of their terrible life because I do it too and I’m a real person
Also, the specific thought of Jimmy doing his very best to be a good dad because of his experiences makes me soft
Also, you can probably think of Dandy as Orin in this scenario, because they’re both terrible assholes
“I’m his December bride / He’s father, he knows best / Our kids watch Howdy Doody / As the sun sets in the west / A picture out of Better Homes and Gardens Magazine,”
James Patrick March
It’s A Dangerous Game and Take Me As I Am from Jekyll and Hyde
Okay, I know this is kind of cheating but this is my post, so lets pretend it’s not
Relationships with JPM are usually portrayed as extremely balanced and loving with both parters holding pretty equal standing or extremely dark and controlling with James holding full control in the relationship.
These songs fall into each dynamic respectively
It’s A Dangerous Game is that filthy, controlling roll-in-the-sheets song you just need sometimes
It’s also delving into the literal danger
Like, Mr. March is the most prolific serial killer ever. He’s a massive sadist. Being near him while also being alive is a massive risk.
But it’s a sexy risk
Take Me As I Am is the complete opposite vibe while still talking about the exact same dude.
It’s still a duet, but this one is even, measured, romantic... and all about accepting a criminally insane fiance for all his peculiarities! Perfect!
This is the song where JPM talks about how much he loves his wife lol
Because he might be a psycho, but he absolutely respects and cherishes his wife
“No one speaks, not one word / All the words are in our eyes / Silence speaks, loud and clear / All the words we want to hear,”
“Give me your hand, give me your heart / Swear to me we’ll never part / You know who I am / This is who I am / Take me as I am,”
Kai Anderson
As Long As He Needs Me from Oliver
I hate Kai Anderson with a burning passion
But this song belongs to anyone who he manipulates into loving and trusting him
It’s just so sad
And it really encapsulates the idea of doing anything for the person you love even if you get less than nothing in return
It’s not healthy in any sense of the word, but it fits
“He doesn’t say the things he should / He acts the way he thinks he should / But all the same, I’ll play this game / His way,”
Peter Maximoff
You’re The One That I Want from Grease
Who could forget the classic scene in Grease when Danny and Sandy dance through that weird fun house? Definitely not me.
This is another holdover from my Aaron Tveit phase because Grease Live was a masterpiece (it was very difficult to not include more songs he performed, because Evan gives me Aaron vibes)
I picked this song less because of the actual content, and more because of the vibe
Like, imagine Peter Maximoff learning all the choreography from the movie in his spare time
And he shows off by whipping out the whole ass dance routine with you during karaoke night at X-Mansion complete with leather pants for the both of you
Peter might even let you borrow his jacket as a prop, who knows
It’s just a fun little ditty and it makes me smile
“You better shape up, cause I need a man / And my heart is set on you / You better shape up, you better understand / To my heart, I must be true,”
BONUS CONTENT: Peter Maximoff would sing you One Knight from Wonderland 100% it is just so him please go listen to it
#Theres no hamilton I promise#Or heathers#They're good shows#but they didn't work here#evan peters#evan peters x reader#peter maximoff#peter maximoff x reader#tate langdon#tate langdon x reader#kit walker#kit walker x reader#kyle spencer x reader#jimmy darling#jimmy darling x reader#james march#james patrick march#james march x reader#james patrick march x reader#kai anderson#kai anderson x reader
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(This isn't an anti-Eda, anti-Lilith or anti-Bump post. Just read this fully, please!)
Murder and violence are not ok!
This whole thing started literally after s1ep2 where Eda murdered a dude on screen.
What am I talking about?
"It's just a cartoon. Don't read too much into it."
I don't have a very strong opinion on this but I'm not a fan of normalizing murder. Also "Heroes that are genocidal maniacs, kill the villain cause he's awful." sounds extremely cringe.
And why are you reading a post that analyses a part of a cartoon right now?
"Death is normal on the Boiling isles, so that makes it ok."
Woah, woah! WHAT?
If everyone used that logic, slavery would still be a thing.
Just cause it's normalized in a culture doesn't mean it's less harmful or that everyone that comes from that culture does it.
It can be used to explain someone's actions, but not excuse them.
The ignorance of context.
1. Eda's murders
First I wanna point out that it was never emotional, it was all calculated. Remember when Tibbles scammed her, she didn't attack him back. None of her kills are revenge. She has always had something to win from them.
She has murdered two people, probably more, Adegast and Tibbles.
If she didn't kill Adegast. I can see this going two ways. He would starve to death, which means she put him out of his misery or he would slowly go back to full power which ties with Tibbles.
Batman kills the Joker.
No they are not as bad as the Joker but they would have continued trying to hurt her untill they got the idea of killing Willow and Gus in their sleep. TIBBLES KNEW THEIR ADDRESS!
Also if they were willing to do this. Who knows what else they have done to other people too. By doing this she has saved more lifes than she has taken (mostly kids).
Plus this willingness to kill is probably the reason Luz can go to school. Eda's enemies know that if they become an actual treat, things won't end well.
Her enemies are criminals. They are not stupid enough to think that she is helpless without magic. Especially now that she isn't running from the law.
- Now on to almost killing Amity in s1ep5 by making Luz cheat. That was messed up but not that badly.
Witches are harder to hurt, there were healers around who would help a Blight. She saw Amity use abomination so she knew mainly her traps were gonna be activated by a non-living thing.
Luz was going to be injured if that didn't happen. Amity was not in control of her strength and I don't think Lilith thought this trough. Though both sisters would have probably intervened when this got out of hand.
She also isn't the one to force Luz into the fight as many people have said. She has never on screen forced her opinion on someone else except in s1ep9 which was to protect her from school and changed in that episode. Luz just couldn't leave cause quitting ment never being able to perform magic.
Now I know that the right thing to do here was for her to try talk things through. I'm just saying it's not as bad as it seems.
2. Eda's scamming
To get my point across I'm gonna compare it to Wordlob.
Hers is the equivalent of you trying to buy gold and getting plastic. His is the equivalent of you're desperate for a cure and he promises to give it to you and then steals all your money and leaves you to die.
You're not going to try to buy gold when your desperate are you?
Scamming can take different forms and hers is the least harmful.
And consider this, what else can she do to put food on the table with her two adopted kids, Hooty and Owlbert. She can't find a legal job, cause that would be helping Belos, she'll die before she does that and she definitely knows ways to disguise herself but that puts her at risk as well.
3. Lilith's redemption arc still works
Yes, she did murder a bird in s1ep18, but the way it talked and acted. It seemed like it was mimicking speach.
Yes, she did almost kill a child, but she has made up for it probably in that week and a half that we didn't see considering this is the Boiling isles and everything is trying to kill you.
Plus, Eda only talked about the curse, considering "You hurt Luz, you cursed me!" She is not the person who would forget about her kid.
Bonus, she did make up for it on screen as well. In s2ep2 she saved King from Eda's experiments. In s2ep3 she saved Luz and King with her ice glyphs, when she could have just left, giving time for Eda to get them out of there. If Eda didn't show up Lilith would be dead.
4. Bump's jokes
- Dissecting Luz
I don't know why everyone talks about Bump and Amity trying to dissect Luz. They weren't certain if this was going to kill her. They weren't certain if she was alive. All they knew was that the lie will be broken if this would kill her.
Yes, they did try to catch her later on, but not to kill her. They wanted to make sense of what's going on and hopefully find her parents so she gets at the very least a talk on why she shouldn't do this.
Willow just overreacted which in return made Luz do the same.
- Bump's detention room
This room is a hypnosis one. Hypnosis is a job in real life. It can be dangerous but that can also be said about therapy if the therapist is bad. Depends on who does it.
"Impressive still alive!" This is a joke.
If a hypnotic session is stopped in the middle, you'd be too relaxed to be able to move. He was fine, he just needed some time.
- Bump's add
Everything that attacked Matt was alive. He probably did something to piss them off. But yeah Bump should have done something.
- Detention track
Guys knowing what he did for Willow in s1ep3, it's obvious that he was in a lot of stress. If he did what he did in that episode regularly. You just touch an orb and byeeeeee. Then this place should have been crowded.
Plus the wall with troublemakers' names had what six names and a portrait of lord calamity. Eda left school before three decades. And that's all we got.
He was probably not gonna keep them there even though he said so. He probably wasn't even planning that.
- Grom was very messed up. I have nothing to say except I wouldn't be surprised if the Emporer's coven forces this to be a thing and refuses to send actual adults, so the kids learn from a young age or whatever.
- Same with the photomemory class.
- "Bosha got away with murder. I can't say I approve, but at least she's trying new things."
This was a joke. Bosha's parents definitely have influence. His hands are tied like usual so he has learned to make jokes out of it. Plus since when are principals responsible for what happens out of school grounds.
5. The bat queen
She is a protector of palismans and I don't think she started to kill until the government was against her (I'm talking about her cave having bones all over it.)
I can't say it's completely justified like I did with Eda. But I don't see a way out of it where palisman wouldn't be extinct.
Now let's see our vilians' behaviour
1. Adegast
He was trying to kill Eda for his business by using a child as a bait.
2. Tibbles
He almost murdered four children so his stand is revenged.
3. Piniate
Is keeping people captive and literally is making them helpless as a punishment for not writing a book.
4. Demon hunters
They were gonna trow kids off a cliff. I'm not sure why actually.
5. The cat ladies
They were kidnapping children for their cafe.
6. The "coven" inspecture
She was stealing all the magic from none other than kids for power.
7. Wordlob
Who knows how many people have died, lost their jobs and so one, cause of his scams. All for money.
8. Warden wrath
He cut Eda's head so she goes out with him. Captures people for nothing.
9. Odalia and Alador
Alador was not stopping Odalia from trying to kill Luz. In their mind this was gonna help in combination with their child abuse, with their daughter helping their business. Everything they have done for now is for their business.
They backed up when Alador saw an opportunity for THEIR BUSINESS.
10. Kikimora
She tried to murder a child, cause of jealousy. Uses her authority to make the system even worse, cause how dare them look in her direction.
11. Belos
Is abusing a child and abused Lilith. Is the reason that palisman are getting extinct. Wild magic= death sentence. Basically created a horrible authority system that has created a lot of suffering and who knows how many it has killed. Probably all for power, though we don't know completely.
#toh#the owl house#toh eda#eda clawthorne#eda the owl lady#edalyn clawthorne#the owl lady#toh lilith#lilith clawthorne#toh bump#toh bat queen#toh vilians#toh kikimora#toh belos#emporer belos#toh odalia#toh alador#toh golden guard#toh hunter
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Can you explain the appeal of Julian Blackthorn? This is a genuine question because I read the books and came away utterly bored by him and unconvinced of his moral greyness as opposed to like, Adam Parrish’s. He seemed so one dimensional to me but I want to know if I’m Wrong TM considering I tend to be very very biased toward my favourite characters and bored by the rest, and my favourites were Mark and Kieran. So maybe I just didn’t pay him enough attention??
it’s been a while since i wrote any earnest tsc meta but cringe culture is dead and the chance to infodump about my julian thoughts has me vibrating where i’m sitting so. yes okay.
technical stuff
(aka: things pertaining to How The Story Is Constructed)
cassandra clare’s characterization has become much stronger just in general since she first began writing the series like twenty years ago
perhaps most importantly: the more recent stuff i’ve read from her has involved characters who actually grow, change, and learn from their past mistakes
rather than repeating the same stupid decisions over and over again
and over and over and over some more
seriously take a shot every time someone in tmi miscommunicates or self-destructs in ways They Have Learned Not To Do for no real reason. u will die of alcohol poisoning
in tda this shines ESPECIALLY with the evolution of mark, kieran, and cristina’s relationship, but that’s a separate post
clare’s trademark is also the angsty traumatized jerkass love interest with a secret heart of gold
the woman is almost singlehandedly responsible for draco in leather pants and the proliferation of this kind of character type in fandom and teen lit. this isn’t a criticism it’s me marveling at how if you commit hard enough to a single trope you truly can change the world. follow your dreams
sad jackass with a heart of gold isn’t an Inherently Problematic Character Type
but poorly done it can lead to relationship dynamics in which one partner is constantly being hurt by and then forgiving the other despite them making no real effort to change, because they are narratively absolved due to being sad
(there’s a lot of this with earlier jace content. in some ways i think will was later created specifically to be a same-archetype protagonist who actually does get called on his shit and grow. that’s also another post)
also if all of your sexy male love interests are tortured jackasses with a heart of gold then people start calling you a one-trick pony
enter julian blackthorn!
from the very start everything about him is designed to be the INVERSE of the heart of gold jackass. which immediately makes him interesting just from a meta perspective
(mark and kieran are also both alternate angles on this time-honored archetype. mark gets the heart of gold and kieran gets the jackass and then they’re both much more deeply messy than that. yet another post)
julian is kind, self-sacrificing, empathetic, artistic, emotionally supportive, responsible, and favored by old grannies everywhere
so a completely nonthreatening milquetoast guy, right
immediately forgettable if you’re only here for the dramatic conflicts and shithead antics of clare’s other protags
except that he is A Mess
and that he has structured his priorities very carefully, and they are as selfless as you expect from The Hero (TM) but they are also Not Heroic (TM) and they do not align with the moral framework The Hero (TM) is supposed to use
moral ambiguity in characters always exists in relation to their narratives imo. you mention adam parrish - trc’s narrative already mucks around in different ethical shades of gray, and adam falls on the canon scale about where julian does on his canon scale. both more willing than the average pov character to do the ruthless thing or make the fucked-up choice if the ends justify the means; both with an intensely strong sense of internal priorities that they adhere to at all costs, both so unbelievably fucking down for murder; etc
i do think there are ways julian’s choices could have been pushed even further, but considering the number of readers who hate his guts already, i can see why clare opted not to go for the most controversial possible conflicts
so we’re flipping the narrative
instead of seeing this angsty bad boy and peeling back the layers of his trauma to find his heart of gold, we’re seeing the put-together selfless family man and peeling back the layers of his Responsibility Mask to expose the rotting husk underneath
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
THAT IS FUN AS FUCK
then when julian DOES lash out in hurtful, uncontrolled ways, he has significantly more narrative justification for it than most of clare’s protagonists (will elaborate in characterization thoughts)
julian is also interesting as fuck because of how his struggles allow for a more in-depth look at the failings of shadowhunter society, something that’s also sorely lacking in clare’s earlier work
his apparent amorality is simply the result of him making pragmatic and impossible choices because he has been faced with fucked-up ethical dilemmas since age 12 Because Society Has Failed Him
which opens the door for narrative exploration of how and why he’s been failed so badly & what needs to change
i also love that he has such a coldly calculated way of analyzing situations and allowing harm to occur when need be, bc a lot of clare’s early protagonists have such a bad case of Rush In And Get Myself Killed Because I’ve Got Feelings About Impulsive Heroism syndrome that i wanna push them in front of a truck
probably there’s other meta narrative stuff i could say but i’m stopping myself and moving on to character analysis
characterization stuff
(aka: reasons why i’m also attached to him in a vacuum)
i don’t read him as one-dimensional at all tbh
u may feel the narrative pushes “ruthless julian blackthorn” too much without delivering enough actual ruthless julian But i don’t think that’s the same as having only one dimension
from the get-go, the big question centered on julian is always “how far are you willing to go?” and the narrative pushes the stakes slowly higher and higher to continuously test julian’s “the price is always justified” mindset
he has a far more layered and realistic response to trauma than clare’s early protagonists - trauma affects every single aspect of his personality and how he conducts himself, and the effects vary depending on the circumstances
his conviction that he has to be the perfect parent to his siblings because they will fall apart if they see him show weakness?? rooted in how he feels like he’s fallen apart since losing the stable adult support he once relied upon
his willingness to hurt semi-innocent people, commit coldblooded murder, manipulate people using political leverage, allow harm to befall any stranger if it protects his family?? rooted in how he has already had to ask himself how much he’s willing to sacrifice, and how his family is his only source of stability when the world has never done Shit for him
his conviction that he has a darker heart than anyone else because he killed his possessed father, even though intellectually he knows he was saving his brother’s life?? rooted in having no means of processing this trauma and being unable to voice his feelings for fear of backlash from a deeply non-understanding society
the way he represses every single negative emotion he ever has, to the point where emma - his actual literal magic soulmate who can feel his emotions - is startled to find him hurting or angry?? once again all about how he has to be the perfect father or he’s failed completely
the way his anger is so totally disproportionate to different situations and the way his negative emotions can only come out in completely uncontrolled breaks?? all that repression baybey. this kid has not processed a single bad feeling in five years. every single real grievance and petty annoyance has been festering indefinitely inside him like a slowly spreading infection
julian’s arc involves him needing to get thru being his worst self to actually start to heal
as in, he has to actually learn to acknowledge his feelings, take care of himself, lean on his family, and let other people take some responsibility
he also has to learn that in his quest to be the perfect emotionally controlled authority figure, he has not actually learned how to control or deal with his emotions. like. At Fucking All. good god
the narrative setup is also about asking “how far are you willing to go?” until the answer is finally “not this far. not this far”
and once he reaches that point, he has to reevaluate everything about how he weighs his priorities and morals and plans, etc
(i also like that emma has a perpendicular arc in which she’s always the one tempering julian and telling him “no we can’t go that far” until she’s willing to do something horrific that he absolutely won’t and HE has to stop HER. very sexy)
it’s also just really nice to have a character who’s learned to relate so well to literally every single member of his family while still having a very detached ruthless interior consciousness. i have similar feelings about how adam teaches himself to love people, but with julian it’s spelled out more explicitly in canon & it’s a more central character theme
i’m sure i’m also forgetting stuff here but this post is long enough so i’m gonna say good enough
and like i said in the tags on my other post, there are things i’d personally write differently if it were my story - plot points i’d shift, character contrasts i’d up, themes i’d explore differently, pacing i’d adjust, etc. i have plenty of ways i could be nitpicky and editorial about the effectiveness of julian’s arc. but i also don’t feel like writing them out at the moment & none of my critiques on effectiveness have an impact on the core appeal of his character 2 me. he’s so fucking good
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Edward Kenway for character asks!
ooooooo okay i should open this with a disclaimer: i have not finished black flag yet (about 2/3 of the way through i think? i need to level up my ship so i can beat the next story mission lol) so everything i'm saying here is based on the game up to thatch's death, and everything we know about edward in ac 3: forsaken and the comics that came out a couple years ago.
First impression
oh boy... to be honest, one of the reasons it took me such a long time to get around to playing black flag (it was one of the first ps4 games i bought when i got my console in 2016, and i didn't start until about a month ago) was because i didn't really feel particularly strongly about edward's character design. i was vaguely interested in That One Pirate Assassin Game after having watched (and loved) black sails, but was afraid i would be let down; to me edward just looked like Some Dude, and i was still hung up on the black sails gang. to me, black sails and its characters were so genre/time period-defining that any other piece of pirate media just seemed lackluster in comparison.
i'd also heard a lot of praise for edward and for ac4 in general so i was aware that it was a very popular and well-received game. but since i mostly heard that from reddit (didn't join tumblr ac fandom until odyssey in 2018) i kind of discounted it, bc gamer reddit tastes are... questionable at best.
Impression now
I LOVE HIM!!! i always think i want stories about virtuous characters who believe in goodness and kindness and aren't motivated by gold or glory but aren't afraid to do what needs to be done to help others who can't help themselves. and sometimes that's true (coughratonhnhake:toncough). other times i end up clowning on myself because i realize that it's so much fun when said good/kind character has a rough and rugged exterior, and is motivated by personal gain (i think edward and kassandra are kinda kindred spirits across time and space in that regard, but maybe that's another rant for another time). sometimes you just want someone to be a little bit of an opportunistic bastard, and boy does edward fit that to a T. he's an incredibly complex man, and i think what really got me was that even as he was impersonating assassins and then templars and then assassins again, all for personal gain (pickpocketing the templars in havana while he gains their trust and agrees to do their dirty work lmfao my beloved <3), his primary motivation for doing so was to prove to caroline and her family that he is someone worth a damn, that he is capable of great things and that he is worthy of their love and acceptance. and i know from ac forsaken that the marriage with caroline doesn't last (though i haven't played ac4 far enough to see if that happens on screen, or if it occurs between the game and the novel) which makes his backstory in the game all the more heartbreaking. but his optimism and perseverance and determination to prove himself are all what make me love him.
so that's edward the romantic. now let's talk about the way edward is with adewale, his crew, and his friends. and let's also put the rest of this behind a readmore bc girl i am RANTINGGGGGG
he has several lines that he says to adewale that make me physically cringe (namely: "many of [these men] wouldn't accept you as captain" or "what was it like being enslaved?" like i get that someone like edward would be asking that question in good faith and genuine curiosity but also JESUS CHRIST UBISOFT). but on the flip side - cringey as those questions are, he also takes the time to actually listen and learn, and i think he genuinely values the perspective that he gets from adewale allowing him to open these lines of trust and communication. there's a patience and mutual respect there that i adore.
i also love how much edward loves his crew and his other pirate friends. those scenes of him + kidd + thatch + adewale + hornigold (lol) drinking on the beach and having a grand old time and talking about establishing - to borrow one of my favorite chills-down-my-spine phrases from black sails - a nation of thieves, for people like them to live and prosper, free from the chokehold of civilization. and i know he's not as outwardly invested in counterculture/independence/anticolonialism as thatch and vane and kidd are, but the fact that he so wholeheartedly supports his friends' goals, lofty and impossible as they are, speaks volumes about his love for his friends.
Favorite moment
every scene he has with kidd when kidd casually and softly reminds him that they see that he is a good person beneath his opportunistic and rambunctious exterior. i especially love when they discover julien du casse's mansion containing orders for templars to go out and hunt down assassins: the way kidd immediately knows that edward wants to help the assassins as a way to make up for the damage he did while masquerading as a templar, even if he hasn't voiced it aloud himself. the way that they don't force edward to admit anything about himself before he is ready, but still constantly remind him that he has a good heart. they give him space to come to terms with his compassionate side in a world/environment that more often than sees compassion as something to be stamped out or cast aside. i don’t love when characters are forced to be the Moral Compass for a main dude character, but i think it works for edward and kidd.
Idea for a story
not an edward story per se, but there are 2 povs into edward's life that i would cut off (someone else's) limbs for:
jenny's pov growing up in the kenway household. from haytham's pov it seems that she knows way more about his past than haytham ever did (it was hinted at that there are rumors about edward’s past as haytham was growing up that he wasn’t privy to, but i don’t think at any point in the novel does haytham ever find out definitively that his father was a pirate) and i want to know how she knew so much, and more into what her life was like - through her eyes rather than haytham, who is like 10 years younger and by his own admission barely understands her and barely has a functional relationship with her. i'll expand further on edward and jenny in the next question/prompt/bullet point, actually, bc i have a LOT more to say.
connor's pov learning about his grandfather from... idk? who's around to tell him? what's so goddamn sad is that by the time connor rebuilds the colonial brotherhood he's kinda the only one left. sure there's aveline down in louisiana, but as far as we know everyone who was around in edward's generation is dead now, and i'm not sure how much of the kenway saga is preserved for connor to discover, or if all this information about their family line was discovered in the modern-day, by your abstergo employee character, and later by osto berg in the comics. which is why i so badly want a revelations-style game where connor traces his assassin heritage back to the caribbean, relives some of edward's memories, and then makes the trip to london to see his aunt jenny. it would have been such a cool way to round out the kenway saga.
Unpopular opinion
idk how popular or unpopular this is bc i rarely see other in-depth posts about it on my dash, but edward was a terrible father to jenny. he was every bit the wonderful and loving father to haytham for the 10 years that haytham had a father, but i wish we'd seen more of jenny's perspective than just a few lines of dialogue in haytham's diary: i hate the way edward sidelined her and raised her in the same manner that any other wealthy person of the time would have raised their daughter - that is, for the sole purpose of sitting pretty and marrying her off in an arrangement that would benefit the family. it's especially hard to reconcile because in ac4 there are female assassins in the americas, and there are female pirates in the caribbean, so it's not like edward isn't aware that women have as much right as any man to live life on their own terms. it just seems like by the time he returns to england and settles down with his family, he's reverted back to the societal norms and gender roles that the pirates fought (and lost) against, and it's hard not to be deeply disappointed by that.
to be clear, i don't begrudge edward settling down and becoming a Rich Society Man. dude deserves to live comfortably with his loving family. he has every right to dote on his wife and children, and leave behind the hardships of being a pirate. but i think "fightning against deeply-ingrained cultural norms/expectations is a long and bloody struggle, and after losing so many people he cared so deeply about, i think it's understandable that edward wouldn't want to continue that fight alone (and also adewale is still fighting the good fight) (do NOT @ me about ac rogue I Pretend I Do Not See It)" and "i don't love the way edward sidelined his daughter into societally-expected gender roles she did not want; it makes me think that he did not continue drinking his Respect Women Juice as much as i thought he did/wanted him to" are two opinions that can coexist.
Favorite relationship
i don't know that i ship edward romantically with anyone, actually. i thought he and caroline were cute in the beginning, but it's hard to want to ship them knowing that she leaves him eventually. and ofc there'd edward/tessa in ac forsaken, and we know they were very happy together and that he loved her so so much. but we don't see that relationship except through haytham's eyes.
as for non-romantic relationships, i already talked at length above about his relationships with adewale and the other pirates and kidd, and i'll just leave it at that. i'm also vaguely aware that edward's got some upcoming scenes with anne bonny, but i'm not at that point in the game yet so i don't have much to say about the two of them. so far i've only seen them say a few lines to each other at the nassau tavern.
Favorite headcanon
kassandra absolutely rubbed shoulders with edward at some point during his time in the caribbean; i like to think that she needed to lie low for some reason (maybe she was with the assassins idk) and joined his crew. i just need my best stabby gal and my second-favorite stabby dude to be pals!
finally, this isn't a headcanon per se but it is obligatory that any time i talk about kenways i yell for a bit about the fact that EDWARD WOULD HAVE LOVED CONNOR SO SO SO MUCH AND I'M FOREVER DEVASTATED THAT HE NEVER GOT TO MEET HIM. at the same time, if edward hadn't been murdered and haytham not been indoctrinated into the templars the way he had, i'm not sure connor would even have existed. and in a way i'm glad that edward wasn't around to see how broken and cynical and depressed haytham became, because i think that would have absolutely broken his heart.
send me a character!
#KEN👏WAY👏BRAIN👏ROT👏#assassin's creed#ac black flag#edward kenway#ask games#reiverreturns#THANK YOU FOR ASKING i hope you expected and wanted this can of worms#finally wrangled that stupid ask box bug - saved this in my drafts and edited it from there#and lo and behold i can type W E and L!
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I didn’t go to therapy out of self-love, I went because I wasn’t “working” right. I couldn’t focus, couldn’t do my homework, etc. I feel like that’s an important distinction. I hate that I need to take care of myself because I have a hard time believing that I’m worth taking care of. Why should feeding myself be a priority when all I’m good for is doing work? Ugh.
I reblogged something about autism and identity a little while ago that I really relate to. I think so much of my identity is “whatever makes it easier for me to live.” When I was living with my parents that meant interacting with a list of pretty specific expectations, some explicit and some implicit. Now that I have a room of my own and housemates that don’t give a shit what I do (trust me, it’s a blessing), I’m confronting the fact that I don’t feel Allowed to live the way that would make me feel most comfortable. Of course, part of the process is discovering identity, but with both bisexuality abt a year ago and now being non-binary I had/have a feeling that it’s somehow wrong for me to just Be That. I get that this is a pretty common experience, like the classic “it’s fine for others, just not for me,” but I think my developing relationship to whatever my identity is is very much intertwined with my relationship to self love. As in, if I don’t believe I have intrinsic worth and my value as a person is determined by my actions, then being bisexual or non-binary has the potential to make other people uncomfortable so I shouldn’t (I know this is a vast oversimplification of the dynamics, but I believe this to be the sort of overarching reality of the culture we live in).
Meanwhile, living in a way that is true to my identity is an act of self love, just like feeding myself is an act of self love. Setting aside any sort of knock-on effects that such actions have, they are valuable simply because the bring me joy. And that is hard for me to internalize for various reasons, but most relevantly to this post because bringing myself joy is not important if I don’t believe in my own worth.
I started this blog kind of as an act of self love - whatever place we’re at in “cringe culture is dead,” starting a thirst/gender envy blog over a TV show character isn’t like, intrinsically valuable to anyone but me. But this is the first tumblr I’ve ever made that I actually enjoy scrolling through and rereading the posts, which I don’t even do on my main blog. Here the stuff I post and my (very confessional) original posts are things I’m reblogging/writing FOR ME and I love rereading them, even though some of the more recent ones are pretty emotionally affecting.
I’m working on self love and identity and etc. I cried in the bathtub earlier today when I realized how happy I would be to just get an academic job at a mid-tier university and have a little house with a garden. Not doing anything to save the world, not revolutionizing the field that I’m in, nothing that matters to anyone but me. Knowing things like this help me live in a world with other people, whose hopes and dreams are loud, and their expectations of me can be overwhelming.
I’m looking forward to a future where I feel like I’m truly living in my own life, that I haven’t moved in to someone else’s body and I’m just working on maintaining it until they get back. I remember what it was like when I would wake up and not remember who or where I was because I couldn’t bear to think about these things long enough to commit them to memory. My room is about the same, my housemates are about the same, but now I wake up and it’s easier for me to believe that I’m safe.
This post sort of got away from me, but I don’t think it’s an accident that my increased feeling of safety is coinciding with my exploration of gender. I want to give major shouts to my partner - without them I think it would have been many more years before this was something I felt capable of confronting.
Anyway, I love Dean W, I see myself in Dean W, he’s a pretty little boi and I am a pretty little boi. Apparently.
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I just want to clear something up, in case there's anyone who can only see my notes with a user tagged on my "don't hate doctors/that's not ableism" rants.
I can no longer see the tagged user's comments, so I'm unsure if they are also gone for everyone else & it just looks like I'm going off at random.
So let's chat about why I went off, shall we?
Now, if you've been here at all, you've read my intro blurb which directs you to my pinned post. Within that pinned post there's a lot of information, some of which says that if you don't like what I have to say, my views, or my opinions based on my experience then don't read it. Nobody is forcing you to, so scamper off. It also says for those people to not "come for me" (as the kids say) in the notes because I will use those words, views, & opinions you dislike to verbally spar (and I have so much more experience at the verbal slap down) & then will screenshot & post it on here while laughing at your ridiculous hubris.
That same pinned post lays out, very clearly I think, my feelings & thoughts in a general way about the chronic illness community at large. And while I do have posts that are tagged with CI & EDS hashtags, I deliberately didn't tag these 2 posts. So to find them, this person who doesn't follow me had to go into my blog & scroll. And I don't mean go to my blog via the chronic pain post because the posts in question were posted after so they would only show if they went into my blog & started at the top.... where the pinned post is.
So anyone with half a damn brain knows what they are in for when scrolling through my shitshow, yeah? Yeah.
Welp, apparently that post about "why it's bad to promote doctor hate/that's not fucking ableism you whiny baby" got someone's undies in a bunch & they decided to let me know that according to them....
• I am invalidating people's medical trauma
(nowhere in that post did I say anything about medical trauma, but a doctor doing anything mentioned in my post will not cause such a thing. Waking up during a surgery, such as a gallbladder removal, & being unable to let them know so you just have to deal/watch, THAT would cause medical trauma. And if that sort of thing has happened to anyone reading, I am so so sorry. That is terrible & I hope you have been able to seek help in dealing with it.)
• That i am 'not allowed' to invalidate those people.
(Again, never did but also you don't get to police what I say on my blog sweet cheeks. And I think it's ironic that you're telling me that I can't invalidate someone's feelings/experience while simultaneously invalidating mine because... you read something you disagree with & decided it was a personal attack. Hm. Seems you might be the type of person I was talking about in both posts.)
• That I have NO IDEA what it's like to be misdiagnosed 10+ times.
( ok, #1 you have to be the most illiterate motherfucker who can still string together a typed sentence because both that post AND my pinned post clearly state that I wasn't diagnosed with vEDS until I was THIRTY FUCKING ONE. You think I just spent that time period thinking everything is fine and dandy while my joints crumbled & organs ruptured & got pneumonia every fucking winter? No, bitch! I was trying to sort it out & was misdiagnosed REPEATEDLY starting at 7 yrs old. So please, tell me again how I have no idea what that's like.
And #2. Unlike you, I actually went and looked at your blog pretty carefully. Since I have better reading comprehension than you, I saw that you are an uber dramatic 18 yr old kid who fancies herself an uber spoonie witch! I find everything about this deeply offensive.
#1. You're 18. Of course you're dramatic. You're a teen. But also, you have zero actual life experience but think you know everything... as literally every teen does... while actually knowing fuckall. Cute.
#2. You claim to be a witch because... you collect crystals and like the aesthetic. You know that the various branches of witchcraft are like... legit belief systems right? In fact a lot of them are actual religions with deities and rituals and everything. So while you are screeching about 'InVaLiDaTiOn' you're over there appropriating not just A religion, but an entire GROUP of varied & nuisanced religions and practices. Very uncool and very (feel like I'm beating a dead horse with this but...) ignorant.
"But you have witch in your blog title!"
Yeah bro. I'm a practicing green witch. In high school I did loads of research on the different types & branches of witchcraft. In my early 20s, I decided that green witchcraft really aligns with my beliefs & way of life, plus it caters to my distaste for deity worship & ritual. So...
#3. I can understand why you decided to get all indignant in my notes since in those 2 posts (and my various other rants about chronic illness communities & culture) you are EXACTLY WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT. People like you are what's wrong with the community. People like you are why it takes so long for young women, specifically, to be taken seriously by doctors.
BECAUSE OF OBVIOUSLY EXAGGERATING, VICTIM MENTALITY HAVING, DRAMA QUEENS LIKE YOU.
So kindly fuck off and grow the fuck up. When you are my age, you will look back at this & you will cringe so hard that it will cause you physical pain. Or you'll be the lady at the TJ Maxx screaming about discrimination because they won't let you return an item that is outside of their return policy.
For your sake I hope it's the former.
And if anyone else feels the way this youngster did, you can fuck off too. Again, nobody is pulling a Clockwork Orange & holding your eyes open, making you read my shitfest, opinion & experience filled blog.
♡ A chronically ill, disabled elder millennial ✌
There will be no reblogging of this post because while it may echo some of your personality sentiments, this is about a specific note on a specific post from a specific dramatic butthurt whiny baby user.
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Where do you put your keys when you get home?
personal
Have you ever seen a snake in the wild?
one from far away on the sand when I was on camp and second time it was just dead and not even whole anymore, I wanna touch a snake!
What’s your favourite movie from the 80s?
can’t choose only one
Are you expecting any phone calls or emails?
not really
Do you have any family that live in another country?
no one close
Are there any words that you hate or make you cringe?
sure
What is the best house you’ve ever lived in?
I’ve lived in one house only unless I can count some I stayed for awhile like grandma’s apartment or aunt’s cottage
What movie reminds you of your childhood?
many movies like Jumanji or Goonies
What was the last email you received?
spam
Are you in any fb groups?
I am
Whose house did you last visit?
my gf’s
How many tabs do you have open right now?
5
What’s something you’ve been meaning to do but keep putting off?
I procrastinate lots of stuff
What’s the first thing you check on your phone at the start of the day?
fb messanger/time
Would you date someone who still lived with their parents?
I still live with my parents
Do you think there is life on other planets?
not those close to us
Would you enjoy a night of playing video games?
maybe
Do you dream of traveling the world or are you happy where you are?
I’m not happy but I don’t want to travel
Would you watch a porno with your partner?
hmm...
Have you ever stolen from your work?
no
Do you own any sex toys?
I don’t
How often do you use facebook at work?
depends
Would you date someone half your age?
that would be illegal and I wouldn’t want to anyway
Are you a romantic person?
a little?
Would you be okay with your partner hanging with their ex as friends?
I probably wouldn’t be
Do you have a current passport?
never had a passport
Is it more fun to go out just with your date or on a group date?
just my date
Have you had a relationship with someone of the same sex?
as a lesbian
Is marriage a necessity for two people who love each other?
no but it’s nice
Is there anything you think science will never be able to explain?
possibly
Is intoxication ever an acceptable excuse for acting stupid?
if you can’t act normal then don’t drink, UGH!
Do you litter?
never
Do you believe in fate or destiny?
not sure
Doing nothing all day makes you feel…?
both good and bad
Have you ever had sex with someone you worked with?
I have not
Would you date someone just for the sex?
noooo
Do you consider yourself a positive person?
pfft
Are Sex and Intimacy the same thing?
sex is to intimacy like square to rectangles
How often do you get angry?
I’m like Bruce Banner
Have you had cosmetic surgery?
I haven’t
On a first date do you pay or do they?
split
Do you only date people who have jobs or are full-time students?
I don’t care what they do in life (school, job or nothing) if we don’t live together, I’m unemployed myself
Could you date someone who does drugs?
doubt it
Do you enjoy watching sports?
nah
Would you do a striptease for your partner?
umm...
Would you date someone who doesn’t have a car?
sure, I don’t even own one
You have a week off, travel or stay home?
home <3
Does spending the weekend at home annoy you?
noooo
Do you consider yourself open minded?
nah
Do others find you sexy?
r u kidding?...
Have you ever met someone in person you met online?
I have
Do you tell your friends you love them?
nope, just family and partner
Do your siblings dye their hair?
sometimes
Who can you best relate to in the last book you read?
partially to Will, Stella and Poe
Are you indecisive?
it’s hard for me to make a decision but I am not changing my mind like wind blows
What are you listening to?
Lana Del Rey
What are you doing tomorrow?
we’ll see
What was the last compliment someone gave you?
not sure which was last
Do you have a big family?
no but it’s still to big for me :x
Which one of your senses would you miss the most if you lost it?
sight, then hearing
What’s your opinion on prostitution? Should it be legal and regulated, or is it something that needs to be gotten rid of completely?
it should be illegal
If you want (or don’t want) kids, is this something you’ve always known or have you changed your mind as you’ve grown up?
I wanted kids at first because I played dolls and didn’t know anything about pregnancy or taking care of real children, I just thought it’s normal everyone have them at some point and that’s all but once I found out more about the subject I realized it’s not for me because of many reasons
Has the person you like ever seen you in your pajamas?
yup
Did the last person you kissed celebrate your last birthday with you?
she wasn’t in my life at the time
What’s the first word of the last text message you received?
ok was the whole message XD
What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
I’m gonna die, if I won’t fall asleep I’ll explode, I feel so bad
Are you okay right now?
am I ever?...
When was the last time you saw your mom?
we’re home together
What is the last thing you drank today?
just going to drink some water in the kitchen
Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow?
hope not
What are you listening to right now?
Cigarettes after sex
Last time you had a sleepover?
ages ago
If the last person you dated said they were in love with you, what would you say?
I know she does, she was telling me that already
Do you replay things that have happened in your head?
overthinking for life
If you could get paid to do anything in the world, what would you do?
sitting in front of the computer
Do your parents actually knock on your door before entering your room or just barge right in, instead?
my dad knocks, my mom barges in
What would you do if it snowed right now?
...
Are you more of a leader or a follower?
loner
Would you say you’ve had a good life so far?
no comment
What’s something you wish you could have delivered to your house?
regularly or right now?
What’s your favorite art style?
surrealism?
Are any of your coworkers currently out on maternity/paternity leave?
I don’t have coworkers now
Do you have a good sense of balance?
it’s hard to say
Do you live in a very racially and culturally diverse country?
no
Do you live alone?
I wish
Have you done something recently that helped someone else, in any way?
nothing big
If you knew that one of your friends was considering suicide, what would you say to them?
depends
Who was the last person to pay you a compliment?
my gf
The shirt you’re wearinh - is it one of your favourites?
yep
Is there a certain name that you think seems to have become really popular, and you know lots of people with that same name?
growing up Ewelina, Julia, Emilia, Katarzyna, Urszula, Małgorzata and Michał were the most popular names
Before Facebook became popular, did you use any other social networking site?
yup
Have you ever asked anyone “Do you love me?” If so, did you get the response you wanted? Do you think when someone says “I love you”, you feel obliged to say it back?
yes, usually and kinda
If you’ve had a bad experience in a past relationship, did you find that you were scared to get into another relationship, in case the same thing happened again?
that’s normal
Are you friends with the last person you hugged, or something more?
we’re related
Do you ever post song lyrics as your Facebook status?
sometimes
Do you drink alcohol on a regular basis, or do you prefer to save it for special occasions?
I don’t drink even on special occassions
Did you play with Barbies when you were a kid, or did you prefer something else?
I played with Barbies but not only them
If you were going to buy a present for the person you love/like, what would you generally choose?
what she likes/wants/needs :)
If I’m going to buy you a box of chocolates, which kind should I definitely NOT get?
don’t buy me any
Is there something you generally always ask for help with?
I need help with many things :(
Has anyone called you beautiful today?
no, I’m not so that would be a lie
Who was the last person to see you cry?
my mother
Do you drink bottled water?
sometimes
You never know what you have until it’s gone. True or false?
kinda true
Are you scared of losing the person you like to someone else?
if they were happy with someone else - let that happen, I’ll be fine alone
Will you be in bed in the next 20 minutes?
too early to sleep
Do you laugh at inappropriate times?
rarely
How many bracelets do you have on right now?
zero
Do you have someone you have late night conversations with?
I do
What does your phone do when it receives a text?
vibrates
What is in your pocket?
no pockets!
Can you remember the last person you texted without looking?
my sister
Do you listen to music everyday?
almost
Are you gonna be home alone tonight?
I won’t be alone
If there was a large spider in your room, would you stay in the room?
how big?
Are you a flirty person?
maybe
The last store you went to was…?
local
Do you have a friend named Alex?
used to
What did you think of the movie Juno?
I have mixed feelings about it
How often do you eat meat?
often
Have you ever gotten clothes from the kids section as an adult?
I have :x
Are you more of a science/math person or english/history person?
I’m artsy
When you were little, would you have rather watched Cartoon Network or Disney Channel?
we didn’t have such expensive channels
Since using the internet regularly, have you started to read less than you used to?
I read less not because of internet
Are you a big fan of the Harry Potter series?
nah
Do you find yourself feeling lazier when the weather is warm?
I feel lazier when the weather is cold because I don’t wanna leave my bed or home at least
Are you a fan of the TV show Friends?
watched fragments and I like Chandler and Phoebe - I think they would be great together, I’m a bit like them
How old do you think is too old to sleep with a stuffed animal?
never
Are you 100% over the last person you kissed?
I’m not
How many tattoos would you like to have?
I don’t plan any
Are you over the age of 25?
I am
Do you want your life to stay the way it is right now forever?
omg! I want my life to get better :(
Would you rather live without music or without the t.v?
without TV
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You Never Seemed So Tense, Love
(what’s this? some actual content? on my blog? it’s more likely than you think)
hello again, y’all! it’s been a while since i’ve posted any writing, but at last, i’ve finished another fic! i hope y’all enjoy this one, i found it really fun to write. (title from “gives you hell” by the all-american rejects)
Trigger Warnings For: mild language and mentions of alcohol
Summary: Logan Guiscard loves his simple, mundane life. He most certainly does not love his next-door neighbor, Virgil Savage.
Length: 7,476 words
Kudos are appreciated, reblogs are adored, comments are loved!!
Logan Guiscard loved his life. Honestly. He loved his little suburban house that looked like almost every other home in his neighborhood. He loved his shiny car that he had to wash every weekend because if it wasn’t shining then obviously someone would think something was wrong and wouldn’t take him seriously. He loved his job as an astronomy professor at the local university where nobody cared about what the constellations were named because the Greeks were all dead, and it’s not they couldn’t just Google the names, anyways. He loved waking in the morning to see a lawn full of native plants and a little garden, because he might live in the affluent suburbs, but that didn’t mean he’d give into lawn culture, the horrid thing.
The only thing he didn’t love was his unfortunately next-door neighbor, Virgil Savage. Everything about him was simply illogical. The first thing the imbecile had done after moving in was paint the house bright purple, a stark contrast from the pastel grey every other home sported. He had a rather irritating habit of playing music a decibel too loud for Logan’s taste. He had absolutely no sense of self-care; Virgil seemed to throw on whatever clothes were clean— they were mismatched and rumbled, as if he had just taken them from his floor—and his skin was dull and most likely caked with makeup, which could easily be fixed if the man would just wash his face in the morning. Virgil Savage also had the miserable mannerism of being at least partially nocturnal.
Logan first found out about this “lifestyle” within a week of Virgil moving in. At first, he thought his neighbor was simply having trouble adjusting to his new house. And then the music started. Had it been any other time of day, perhaps Logan would have learned to let it by, to continue with his daily life. But because it was nine-thirty on a Wednesday night and Logan happened to teach Introduction to Astronomy on Thursdays at seven a.m., he marched over to the Savage house with a glare that burned hot enough to set Pluto alight, and knocked three times on the heavy door, tapping his foot incessantly as he waited for a response.
Virgil had opened the door with tired, bleak eyes the color of the Milky Way, full of enigmatic monachopsis that seemed to scream for human contact like an abandoned astronaut, and all arguments fled from the tip of Logan’s tongue. The music was even louder with the door open; the most prominent instrument was a piano that sounded like someone was slamming their fingers down on the keys in a desperate rage. Someone was screaming about friends and not wanting to leave, their voice raspy and broken.
“Do you… need something?” his neighbor had asked with a gruff voice, clutching at his elbows as if the sooner Logan left, the better. Logan had snapped out of his daze, pushing his glasses back up as he looked up at the man standing in the doorway. He couldn’t see much from where he stood on the porch.
“Yes, actually, I would like for you to turn your music down. It is impeding my ability to sleep, and I have to teach a class in the morning,” Logan explained crisply. Virgil looked him up and down, sizing up his new competitor with a smug smirk.
“Well, I dunno, teach.” Logan’s heart stopped for a full second at the nickname before his face morphed into a mask of contempt. “There’s a party going on right now, and what party is complete without music?”
Logan’s eyes narrowed as he glanced inside. He couldn’t see much besides a very much empty living room. “Apparently, a pity party,” he replied, his tone harsher than he intended. For a quarter of a second, a single frame in the movie of life, Virgil’s face had contorted, full of hurt, before quickly losing its emotion, replaced with cool nonchalance. Logan had had half the mind to apologize for his unsympathetic behavior before the song grew louder and Logan was reminded that it was late at night and he was too exhausted to deal with this sort of tomfuckery.
He was about to launch into a full debate to convince this heathen to turn his music down to a respectable volume when another figure came careening through the living room by way of an unseen doorway, crashing into Virgil with raucous, drunken giggles.
“Broooooo…” the newcomer slurred, his arms wrapped around Virgil’s neck for support. “You gotta finish that assignment of yours. You wanna pass the class, donya? Come ooooon,” he wheedled. Virgil’s face flushed as the stranger whined.
“Roman, how much have you drunk?”
“…a bottle.”
“A bottle?! Dee let you drink a whole bottle?!” Virgil’s eyes were the size of dinner plates, his mouth hanging open in disbelief as he turned, facing the living room that still held no-one despite the “party” raging on inside. “Dee! I’m gonna kick your ass!” he yelled as he unwrapped Roman’s arms from his neck. Virgil’s eyes glanced back at Logan. “Sorry about my friend.”
With that, Virgil pushed Roman further into the house, muttering in exasperation as he shut the door without another word to Logan. The teacher blinked before he regained his senses. He scoffed at the sudden cut-off from his neighbor, rolling his eyes. There was nothing else he could do now besides head back home and shove a pillow over his ears to muffle the music.
It was only when he finally slipped into bed that he realized he could only hear the sound of crickets and someone’s air conditioner whirring in the late August night heat.
The music had been turned off.
He hated himself for believing that it would end that night with a simple confrontation. The next week, the music was up again. Logan was too busy grading incomplete and frustratingly incorrect constellation maps to tell off Virgil, and let it be. But then it happened again the next week. And the next. It seemed to Logan that Virgil was just trying to get a rise out of him at this point. When he called his brother he ask for advice, the only promising words he got was “talk to him.”
“Patton, you don’t understand. I have talked to him, he just won’t listen,” he sighed as his brother listened intently over the video call, constantly adjusting his round glasses.
“Now, Logan, you know that everybody communicates in different ways. Maybe he is listening, but he just can’t communicate in a way you understand.” Patton adjusted his glasses again as he tilted his head, a thought striking him. “Maybe he’s trying to get your attention?”
Logan sighed, thinking about Virgil. Would he really be the type of person to annoy him just to get his attention? Virgil didn’t need to play music at an irritating volume for Logan’s consideration of him—those sonderous eyes plagued him almost as much as the music did.
Hold on. What did he just think?
“Are you alright, Logan? You’re making face you always do whenever I correct on your grammar. You know—like someone just ate all the second cookies,” Patton giggled. Logan heard someone talking in the background as Patton turned away from the camera, listening to the person off-screen. “Yep! Do you wanna come say hi to him?” Logan heard a sound of acquiescence and the pounding of footsteps as someone ran down the hallway of his brother’s apartment.
“Hiya there, Logan!” He flinched as Patton’s partner, Emile, popped up in front of the camera. “I heard you were in a jam!” The psychiatrist held up a jar of jam as Logan groaned at the pun, massaging the bridge of his nose.
“I don't know which is worse—your puns or Virgil’s music,” he grumbled goodnaturedly as the partners collapsed into laughter that sounded choppy in the low quality audio of his laptop. He ran a hand through his hair as he checked the time, cringing at the late hour. “I’m sorry, Patton, but I’ll have to sign off now. It’s getting late and I have the wonderful blessing of teaching a morning class tomorrow. I’ll see you next weekend, correct?” His brother nodded as he and Emile wished Logan goodnight.
As he turned off his computer, his mind wandered back to the original topic of his and Patton’s conversation—Virgil. He couldn’t possibly be engaging in this childish feud because he was, what, interested in him? Logan snorted aloud, shaking his head. Virgil was obviously only toying with him.
“Well, then,” he whispered aloud as he slipped into bed, ready to fall asleep. “Two can play that game.”
He wasn’t able to put his plan into motion until the following weekend, just before he had to pick up Patton from the airport. It was quite simple, in Logan’s opinion, but then again, he reminded himself, he had to be on the road by at least nine so he could pick up Patton from his eleven-o-clock arrival, so complex schemes were out of the question until he had the time and reason to do such. Thus, he found himself setting a heavy speaker down on the edge of his front porch, his phone already connected to it. He had deliberated for a while on what song to use before settling on the timeless classic of “Hooked on a Feeling”.
He was about to turn on the speaker when he felt his phone vibrating in his hand. He turned it on to see a text from Patton: “So… I might have told you the wrong arrival time…” Immediately, he called his brother.
“What do you mean, ‘wrong arrival time’?” he questioned as soon as Patton picked up.
“Well, I’m here now. At the airport. It turns out the flight isn’t as long as I thought it was…” He could hear incessant chatter in the background and could clearly picture the dismal little airport that never seemed to stop renovating one wing or another, resulting in utter chaos when it came to an orderly flight schedule. “If you’re busy, don’t worry. I can wait a few hours—”
“Don’t be silly, Patton,” Logan interrupted. “I’m leaving now. I’ll be there in forty-five minutes if the traffic’s alright.” He was already grabbing his keys from inside, throwing on a jacket, and unlocking his car doors. “Have you eaten yet?” The silence was answer enough for him. “There’s plenty of options around. Just be sure to eat something healthy, alright? And remember to get your bags,” he sighed as he started the car, the engine a gentle thrum beneath him.
“Alright, Logan, I will. See you in a bit. Thanks for picking me up.” The call disconnected, leaving Logan in the silence of his car before he decided surprisingly that he couldn’t stand the quietude and turned on the car radio as he backed out of the driveway, unaware of the jet black eyes that watched him go sadly.
Logan made to the airport in forty minutes, actually. He found Patton sitting at the counter of a small shop selling dumplings and baobaos, giddily eating the delicious food. He watched with a soft smile for a moment as Patton snuck a bite of a dumpling to the golden retriever laying on the floor beneath him, her vest proudly displaying her role as a service dog. As Patton straightened, he finally noticed his brother standing several feet away.
“Logan!” he called excitedly, waving him over. Logan’s feet moved on their own, small steps turning into bounds as he ran to his brother and hugged him tightly. “I’ve missed you, too, Logan. It doesn’t seem that university can end soon enough.” Logan’s grip tightened before he released his brother. He felt something nose at his leg and looked down to see Lola nudging at his leg, staring up at him with puppy eyes, despite knowing full well she was not a puppy, by size nor age standards.
He crouched down and ran a hand through her fur as Lola’s tail began beating excitedly. “Hello to you, too,” he said as Lola barked softly in greeting. “You’ve got your bags?” he asked as he stood up. Patton nodded, finishing the last dumpling, and clambered off his stool, thanking the shop owners as he grabbed the handles of his two suitcases in both hands. “I’ll hold on to Lola.” He grabbed the golden retriever’s lease, untying it from the chair’s leg, and began guiding the dog and his brother through the dim airport to the parking lot.
It was nine forty a.m. when they got home. The sun was glimmering, bearing down with no qualms onto the earth with a fierce intensity that seemed to rake across their backs with a near unbearable heat. Patton took one look at the speakers still set up on Logan’s porch and turned around, stopping in his tracks.
“Logan, what are you planning?”
“Nothing. I just wanted to listen to some music while I washed my car,” he explained, even though he knew his car was clean and it was pointless to try and wash it when it was supposed to rain that night, anyways. Patton’s eyes narrowed with a ghost of a smile crossing his lips.
“You’re going to play music, aren’t you?” he proclaimed, twirling around and pointing at Logan with one finger and a sly smile as though he was a detective who had just solved the most difficult case ever presented to him. “Oh, I knew that look meant something! You looked so starry-eyed when we were talking about Virgil!” Logan blanched as he gasped in indignation.
“I did not look starry-eyed! He’s not even my friend, he’s just my neighbor!”
“A neighbor who you call on every Wednesday night,” Patton teased as Logan brushed past him with a groan of frustration, unlocking the door and shoving it open.
“It’s his fault, Patton, he’s the one who plays punk rock from the 2000s and 70s and 80s pop songs played on what I think might be an organ louder than a plague of cicadas at ten-thirty at night.” Patton could only laugh at Logan’s description as he made his way into the kitchen and opened the fridge, already making himself at home.
“Sure, Logan.” Patton’s brow furrowed as he surveyed the fridge and its contents. “How many jars did Mom give you last time?”
“I counted twenty—wait, don’t change the subject, Patton!” Logan chastised. Lola spoke—or, rather, barked—up, woofing at the brothers as if to say, “stop talking about your neighbor and feed me.”
When at last Lola was fed and Patton had dropped his suitcases down in the guest room, it was nearing ten a.m.; he was finally able to step outside and stretch in the sun. Out of habit, he glanced at Virgil’s house, half expecting to see strobe lights flashing wildly behind the curtains, and saw nothing. He paused, his thoughts turning to the speaker still sitting abandoned on his porch. Was Virgil still asleep? An evil grin split across his face as he pulled out his phone, finding the song easily.
“I hope you like the taste of your own medicine,” he mumbled as he pressed played. Immediately, sound poured out of the speaker, the lowest notes tapping a familiar rhythm on his heart. He could just barely hear the sounds of confusion in the other house, following by the door slamming open as Virgil stumbled out in his pyjamas.
Well, he couldn’t really call them pyjamas. Virgil was covered—thankfully, of all the bad habits Virgil partook in, sleeping in the nude was not one of them—but just barely. He wore grey boxers beneath a violet tank top at least two sizes too big for him, and not much else. And perhaps Logan blushed furiously at the sight of sunshine on Virgil’s lanky arms and pale legs, but it was just from the heat. Just the heat.
Not that any of that mattered. Logan was too busy watching Virgil nearly trip over his feet as he shambled about in his lawn, momentarily blinded by the sun, to think any more about Virgil’s limbs. As his eyesight adjusted, Virgil noticed Logan standing in his own yard, then saw the speaker blasting music, and put two-and-two together.
“Do you know what time it is?” Virgil groaned, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Logan snickered.
“It’s nine-fifty-two a.m., which is a more reasonable time than ten-forty-five at night,” he shot back. Virgil snorted before covering it with a cough. “Even if you wake up late, you should at least go to bed at a reasonable time. A good bedtime is crucial to a healthy life,” he lectured as Virgil raised his eyebrows with a smirk.
“Oh, getting worried about me, now? Careful, teach, or someone will think you’ve caught feelings for me,” Virgil chaffed, his eyes bright now in the daylight, intelligent and unrelenting in their mirth. Logan spluttered, unable to form a proper response. “Beware, Logan Guiscard. You’ve opened up a Pandora’s Box now.” Virgil’s voice was deep and full of laughter—like Logan was missing out on the funniest joke ever told. “I hope you like punk rock.”
He couldn’t stop himself from saying, “It’s you’ve been playing, how could it ever get old?” This time, Virgil snorted for real, chuckling uncontrollably as he backed away towards his house. Logan knew he wouldn’t get that sound out of his head for weeks. Virgil paused as he reached the doorstep of his home, glancing back over his shoulder.
“…I was finishing a report for my theoretical astrobiology class, by the way. I finished a little past midnight. Sorry for wanting to sleep in. I’ll make sure to let my professor know next time that I wasn’t able to finish my paper because my neighbor cared about me.” Logan physically stepped back, stunned. Virgil was taking university classes? And astronomy-related classes at that? Sweet heavens. Somehow, Logan’s face grew even more heated in the August sun.
Too bad Virgil had already left before Logan could find out more.
It wasn’t like Virgil hadn’t warned him. Logan could clearly recall him referencing Greek mythology (which another one of his passions that just so luckily gave him an advantage in astronomy) as he swore to wreak havoc on Logan’s life. Now, perhaps he hadn’t used those exact words, but it was exactly what was happening at nine p.m. on a Tuesday night in the middle of his late-night astronomy class. The class was too far gone now to be reigned back in, the music was still pouring in through hidden speakers, and all Logan could do was stare at Virgil like his whole world had been shattered as his neighbor laughed with his whole body, the sound loud and full of life and shaking Logan’s very core.
He had been in the middle of explaining which constellations appeared during which seasons—it was the beginning of the semester and he had learned the hard way to always begin with the basics—when the music first started. He had been so envirgorated in his explanation of the importance of the North Star that he hadn’t heard it until one of his students asked if whoever was listening to Fall Out Boy would please turn the volume down. Logan had stopped in his tracks, eyes snapping back to reality with a sinking feeling of déjà vu, and listened.
Unfortunately, his dread was well-met. The sounds of Fall Out Boy’s “Thnks fr th Mmrs” were pouring in from all sides of his classroom; Logan scowled, already searching for the familiar pair of inky eyes that bedeviled his dreams and late-night musings. “Virgil Savage!” he yelled, praying that the incident was actually Virgil’s fault and not some poor student who just happened to have the exact same music interests as his neighbor. “You better show yourself before I make you!”
The laughter was more of a giveaway than anything else. Virgil slumped in the doorway, his smirk so infuriating yet charming all the same. He gave a two-fingered salute to the professor as he held up his phone, waving in his trademark teasing manner. Virgil paid no mind to the students staring at the occurrence with rabid curiosity; his focus was on Logan as he bit his bottom lip and held out the phone towards the professor as though inviting him closer.
“You want the music off?” he asked, his deep voice gliding out of his mouth and wrapping itself around Logan’s body like venti of the ancient age. Logan nodded silently and unceremoniously, unable to think of a good retort. “Come and turn it off yourself.”
That was what had sent his class into chaos. One of them had yelled “Dance party!” immediately after, jumping up from his seat and flailing his arms around in what Logan could only assume to be dancing—an attempt at dancing, at the very least. Logan glared at Virgil as he stalked slowly towards the interloper, the sounds of students nothing but background noise at this point. He leaned closer to Virgil, his eyes full of wrath.
“Turn that music off right now,” he hissed.
“You’re staying up too late. If I can’t sleep in, you can’t stay out,” was Virgil’s only response. Logan stuttered.
“You—I—I am teaching a class!”
“And I’m not turning the music off,” Virgil continued. “I told you, if you want it off—” Virgil other hand grabbed Logan’s waist, pulling him into a dip as the professor yelped in surprise and the students cheered Virgil on. “—you’re going to have to do it yourself.”
It took a full five seconds to pass before Logan’s brain rebooted, shutting down the moment Virgil’s warm touch had met his starved skin. Once his reason returned, he wrangled himself out of his neighbor’s arms with several muttered swears and all but ripped Virgil’s phone out of his hands, turning the music off quickly and shoving the device back towards his neighbor. He glared daggers at the interloper for good measure as he retreated back into the comforts of his classroom with a scowl on his face.
“You’re not getting enough sleep either, teach. What was it you said? Yeah, I remember now: ‘a good bedtime is crucial to a healthy lifestyle.’” Virgil smirked as he watched Logan try to reign in his class, to no avail, those dark irises of his eyes holding something mysterious Logan would love to unravel if it weren’t for the classroom of fifty students in the process of losing their minds. “Of course, not letting loose every once in a while and refusing to humor your everloving neighbor really takes a hit on you, doesn’t it?” Logan glanced at Virgil as he paused from removing a recording phone from particularly stubborn student, focusing on the annoyance swirling through him instead of the rapid, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it wave of warmth that overcame him at the sight of Virgil’s eyes, half hooded by his black-painted eyelids and full of curiosity—curiosity for Logan. That particular feeling he shoved back into the recesses of his mind.
“Virgil Savage, escort yourself out of this room or I will have security do so. We will continue this at a later date.” Virgil only grinned wickedly as he saluted once more and slinked behind the door frame, disappearing in the myriad of hallways.
“How about we continue it tomorrow at Bourbon Coffee? I hear they make great croissants!” Virgil shouted back. Logan stopped dead in his tracks, his head whipping towards the door in shock. But in true Virgil fashion, he was gone before Logan could find out more.
His only hope to gain another piece of the puzzle that was Virgil Savage was to meet him at Bourbon Coffee tomorrow morning.
He prayed he would survive their encounter.
Logan woke up to the mouth-watering smell of french toast the next morning, a smile already on his face. He found his brother in the kitchen, slipping Lola little bites of bacon as he cooked.
“What is all this for, Patton? Don’t you trust me to make my own breakfast?” he asked as he patted Lola, who showed off her canines with a beam.
“One of Emile’s former patients is one of your students. They told a little story on Twitter, and Emile found out and told me!” Patton swiveled around, almost whacking Logan in the face with his spatula. “How come you didn’t tell me you were going on a date?” Logan huffed, swiping a slice of bacon from the plate where they were cooling.
“It’s not a date,” he argued. “This might be my only chance to actually deal with Virgil besides throwing a pillow over my ears.” Patton chuckled, leaving the conversation as he finished cooking and slid two slices of french toast onto a nearby plate and handing it to Logan, throwing a smaller slice on the floor for Lola to wolf down. He continued his points as he ate. “Besides, I wouldn’t even call our relationship a friendship—”
“Alright, first off, don’t talk with your mouth full,” Patton interrupted as he maneuvered them both to sit at the dining room table. “Second of all.” Patton waited until Logan looked up at his brother, holding his gaze. “Do you want it to be a friendship?” he asked gently, knowing the look that was growing in Logan’s eyes.
“…Truth be told, Patton… I do. Virgil…” Logan sighed, unsure how he could ever explain his interest in Virgil if he couldn’t explain the greatest mysteries of the universe, which were far more comprehensible than the mind and soul of his neighbor. “…Virgil is unexplainable. I try to understand him. But I can’t… Am I wrong to want to understand him?”
A ghost of a smile crossed Patton’s lips as he regarded his brother. “No. Not at all.” Patton’s grin turned mischievous. “But date or not, I still get to be excited! You never go out, it’s nice to see you having fun for once.” For once, Logan did not respond to Patton, allowing himself to genuinely grin.
Fun…
It wasn’t a foreign word in his dictionary, but its page wasn’t dog-eared the way other words were. It didn’t have the significance of ebullience (bubbly enthusiasm—it reminded him of his brother), it didn’t have the importance of syzygy (the alignment of celestial bodies—he always found some way to weave it into his lectures), it didn’t roll across his tongue with the same effortlessness of hiraeth (homesickness for a place that never was or cannot be returned to—plus, it tied into his efforts to learn the Welsh language). Fun was not an unknown word, but it was not one mulled over like wine as he pondered his place in the universe.
That didn’t mean he couldn’t reintroduce it to his vocabulary, relearn the way it sounded, the way it felt running along his vocal cords.
Patton could tell what was going through his brother’s mind. He sat back lazily as he ate his breakfast, his smile just barely concealing his pride. “It’s almost nine, by the way,” he added. “You should get ready soon.” Logan nodded, only a little disappointed that they had to end their moment of peace so quickly.
Far too soon, he found himself ready to go, with the exception of a stomach that wouldn’t stop churning. Logan had no idea why he was so nervous—at best, he and Virgil would get coffee and talk without tearing each other’s head apart, and at worst they would just continue their feud like normal. It wasn’t like things going wrong would ruin his life irreversibly—so why did Logan feel the need to impress Virgil, to make things go perfectly?
He pushed those musings to the back of mind for later analysis. He headed outside to be met with the uncomfortable heat he was so used to yet hated all the same. Wearing a black cotton button down did nothing to relieve the suffocating heat against his body. Silently, he cursed the sun as he glanced about, wondering where Virgil was. It hit him that they had never agreed to a specific time. For all Logan knew, Virgil could already by at the coffee shop waiting for him.
Swallowing thickly—he didn’t know why, he had no reason to be nervous—Logan walked over to his neighbor’s house and rapped his knuckles against the door, tapping his foot incessantly as he waited.
The door opened to reveal… not-Virgil. Logan vaguely recalled him as the drunken man who had popped up behind Virgil the first time he had given his neighbors a visit, though he could not remember the man’s name for the life of him. The man yawned, staring at Logan.
“You’re that teacher Virgil’s obsessed with, right?” he asked.
“…Yes?” Logan wasn’t exactly sure how to respond to that, even if his heart did flutter a little bit at it. “Is he inside? We’re supposed to meet at Bourbon Coffee, but he failed to give a time. I thought it would be logical to go with him so we arrive at the same time.”
The man at the door chuckled. “Virgil’s got a date, eh?”
Logan flushed against his will. “Alright—first of all, it is not a date, and second of all, would you please just tell me where he is?” he pleaded. The man nodded with a lopsided grin, glancing behind him.
“He’s still asleep. Probably thought the date would be a late one,” he drawled, laughing at the way Logan grumbled at the continued use of the word “date.” The man stuck out his hand, at last (re)introducing himself. “I’m Roman. Nice to properly meet you.” Logan took his hand politely, shaking it as he tried to be as inconspicuous as possible as he looked inside the house to hopefully see Virgil.
“I’m Logan Guiscard. Pleasure to meet you as well,” he said, biting back his frown when he couldn’t see his enigmatic neighbor. He drew his hand back with an awkward sigh. “Well, please let me know when Virgil wakes. I would rather go with him to the coffee shop than wait for him.” Roman nodded, saying he would, and closed the door to leave Logan standing on the porch with a heavy heart, though he decided it was better not to analyze why he felt disappointed that he wasn’t able to see Virgil.
Logan felt his phone vibrate and saw a text from his brother. Are you there yet? it read. He texted back a quick response, smirking devilishly when a notification from his music service popped up, giving him a positively evil idea. He tapped on the notification, opening the app, and scrolled until he found a song Virgil would adore waking up to.
“Would you mind if I listened to some music while I waited?” Logan asked Roman as innocently as possible. The neighbor shrugged. He bit back his sly grin as he subtly turned his volume all the way, connecting to his speaker, which remained on the porch from their last morning encounter. He pressed play, and let himself smile at last as chaos erupted to the sound of My Chemical Romance’s “Planetary (GO!)”.
The first thing to happen was Roman bursting into laughter as he realized what was happening. The second thing to happen was a series of shouts from inside Virgil’s house. Two people emerged from the shadows—someone Logan had yet to meet, and Virgil. He felt himself smile without thinking at the sight of his neighbor. Virgil’s eyes were hooded and full of exhaustion, bent on the murder of whoever woke him up so early. They cleared upon seeing Logan, lighting up like fireworks, but quickly narrowed as he put two and two together and realized Logan was behind his early wake-up.
“Y’know, if it weren’t for the fact that I love this song, I would be throttling you, you damn player,” Virgil mumbled with a tired laugh. He was murmuring along to the lyrics, holding out a hand to the teacher. “Come on, aren’t you going to dance with me?” For a moment, Logan felt like he had landed on an alien planet, because in no galaxy would this ever happen, but the moment passed as soon Logan realized, foreign planet or not, there was no way he would ever refuse.
He took Virgil’s hand with a sheepish smile, a silent apology for his lack of skill when it came to the aesthetic movement of his awkward limbs. Virgil didn’t seem to mind as they danced—well, to call it dancing would be pushing it. It was more like what Patton had once described as “moshing”, a frantic but energizing thrashing of arms and legs with no regards of what others thought. It was fun. Logan found that he actually liked it—or perhaps it was only because Virgil was dancing with him, and in a few minutes they would be grabbing coffee together like a real couple… of friends.
When at last the song ended, both of them were gasping for air as they laughed like the idiots they were. Logan was grinning so hard it hurt, but he found he didn’t care. I like him. I really like him a lot.
For once, the thought didn’t scare him.
“I’m guessing you want to head to Bourbon Coffee?” Virgil was asking him. Logan nodded wordlessly, unable to speak as he regained his breath. Virgil smiled softly. “I’ll go change, then. I’ve shown up wearing pyjamas too many times, they’ll probably kick me out this time.” Virgil hurried inside to change out of his night clothes, leaving Logan alone with Roman and the new person.
“We haven’t met before, I’m Logan Guiscard,” he introduced, holding out a hand to them. Their eyes flickered over Logan for a moment.
“Desmond Inoni. Call me Dee. You’re the teacher Virgil’s obsessed with,” the man stated cooly, amused as Logan blushed furiously, spluttering incessantly. The teacher was unable to voice his objections further, as Virgil came running out, hopping on one foot as he shoved a black sneaker on. “You two have fun,” Dee called as they set off. Virgil flipped him off playfully over his shoulder as Logan motioned for him to get in the teacher’s car.
In ten minutes, they were sitting down in the cafe with their hot coffee. Logan had gotten a simple black coffee, with about a bucket of added sugar, and Virgil had ordered some complex drink the bartender seemed to have had memorized. They sat in a corner booth by the window, enjoying the company of some calming, though probably fake, spider plants. Logan tried his best to be inconspicuous as he studied Virgil Savage, the mystery himself. He studied the way Virgil bobbed slightly to the cliché electro swing, the way the sunlight lit up the dusk in his eyes, the way his lips curved when he smiled as he spoke about his short-lived endeavor to become a musician to pay his way through college.
“What about you?” Virgil inquired. “How did you pay for college?”
“I won a scholarship by writing about astronomy. Being a teaching assistant helped to pay for the rest,” he explained. “I had to work quite hard to keep my scholarship, so I never had as many chances to make relationships—platonic or otherwise.” He caught Virgil’s gaze as he mumbled, “This is actually the first time I’ve been out with someone besides my brother and his partner…” Virgil’s eyes visibly widened in disbelief.
“Never?!” Logan shook his head, less melancholic than the last time he had mused over the young adulthood he never had. Somehow, sharing his woes with his neighbor lessened their meaning. Virgil took a sip of his drink before continuing, looking out beneath his thick eyelashes. “…I’m glad you thought my company was worthy enough for you, Logan.”
Logan knew he would treasure the way Virgil said his name for eons, forever and ever until the final star burned out and left the universe dark. He would always remember the way his heart skipped a beat, something slotting into place. Even if nothing came of this experience, even if by some reason he never saw Virgil again, even if the world ended right that moment and he was the last being alive, he would know that he had fallen in love with Virgil Savage.
But his neighbor was not meant to be his soulmate. Virgil didn’t love him.
“Logan? You okay?” Virgil was waving his hand in front of his face, worry swimming in his eyes. “You kinda disassociated for a moment. Don’t worry, I do it all the time.” Logan almost chuckled at Virgil’s small blush. “Penny for your thoughts?”
“Oh, it’s nothing,” he promised. “Just… glad you think my company is worth an early rise.” Virgil cracked a smile with a huff, shaking his head.
“Don’t think this changes things,” he warned. “I have a whole playlist you’re going to fall asleep to.”
“That would sound adorable and affectionate if I didn’t know what a scoundrel you truly are,” Logan fired back with a smirk of his own. “I promise I’ll have my own songs to share with you in the early morning hours.” Virgil laughed loud enough to draw the attention of other patrons, his smile crinkling the corners of his eyes.
They sat and talked for what must have been hours, trading anecdotes, questions, and life advice. He learned that Virgil had grown up half an hour away in the backwoods of suburbia, that his favorite color was violet, his favorite animal was a bird of paradise because their dances were beautiful and stupid at the same time, that his parents were divorced but were still friends, that his biggest wish as a young, dumb kid was to be an astronaut and die among the stars. In return, he told Virgil about himself, how his mother had died when he was nine but he loved his stepmother just as much, how his adoration of space began when an astronaut came to his school, how his favorite article of clothing was an old baggy sweatshirt from his first year teaching.
Yet all good things must come to an end, and eventually Virgil had to ruefully apologize that he had an appointment he needed to go to, and had to leave.
He watched Virgil leave wistfully, stirring what remained of his coffee with a cheap plastic stick as he let his thoughts wander over mountains and meadows. Somehow, by some chance, he was in love with Virgil Savage.
Even if Virgil never loved him back, he would make sure to cherish him. He would love and he would lose, yes, but he knew it would be better than to love and to imagine what could have been.
The climax to it all came about a week later, after many continued meetups. Virgil had been hinting at some big finale to it all for the past few days, and Logan was both incredibly excited and incredibly terrified of what his neighbor was planning.
It happened on a clear October night, just as Logan was winding down from a particularly tiring day. Patton was packed and ready to leave tomorrow morning, already sleep despite the early evening hour, and as much as his puns and jokes exasperated Logan to no end, he was going to miss his brother.
The teacher was sitting at the dining room table, finishing up reading a student’s paper. He rubbed at his fluttering eyelids, trying to keep himself from falling asleep as he took another sip from his water, determined to have all his papers graded before he went to sleep. He glanced at his watch every few minutes, chastising himself for checking so often as though he were waiting for something, quickly righting his course of focus back to his yet-to-be-graded papers.
He was about to call it a night and resign himself to an early morning finishing yesterday’s work when it happened. Through the window, which he had left open so he could enjoy the sounds of the night, came the telltale beginnings of trouble, a faint rumble Logan had come to recognize as a bassline emanating from his neighbor’s house.
As he began to hear the lyrics, he tipped back his head with a groan that couldn’t decide whether it wanted to be exasperated or amused. “Oh, you have got to be kidding me…” he muttered as he pushed away from the table to stumble to the window and stand bewildered at the apparent absence of life in the Savage household. Not even a bedroom light was on inside, and it seemed either Virgil had fallen asleep to The All-American Rejects, or this was Virgil’s finale. He knew it was the latter.
Sighing, he pushed away from the table with a clatter of his chair. Running a hand through unkempt tangles of hair, Logan all but shoved the door open and walked out into the brisk night, letting the overwhelming intensity of the song wash over him and take all worries of the papers on his kitchen table away from his mind. Then he noticed movement from one of the windows, and Logan knew to prepare himself for an overly dramatic performance that would have cemented his love for his neighbor if the secret space enthusiasm and the wistful eyes hadn’t already done so.
Logan’s hypothesis proved correct when the bridge of the song began, and people poured out of the house, just like in the music video—which he had watched dozens of times, in a long playlist titled “virgil’s favorites -- memorize!!”, because if he was going to be in love with the man, he might as well know more about what he liked.
And, just like in the music video, they began chanting the ever-plaguing verse as Virgil, playing the role of Tyson Ritter, strutted slowly and calmly down the steps to the teacher’s driveway, where Logan was waiting for him, an exasperated smirk greeting his neighbor.
As soon as Virgil was within an earshot, Logan called to him. “Is this your finale, then?” Virgil’s eyes lit up with playfulness as he stood toe to toe with the teacher, his grin bigger than a full moon.
“Was it too predictable for you?” Virgil retorted with a glimmer of affection in his voice.
“Perhaps,” Logan replied in the same dramatic air as Virgil. “Though I’m beginning to think maybe it’s because I’m rubbing off on you.”
“And maybe it’s because I’m letting you rub off on me. Maybe I like it,” Virgil laughed as he stepped but an inch closer. Logan could see the little discolored speckles in Virgil’s eyes now, from how close they were. Almost close enough to kiss, his brain supplied (un)helpfully.
At once, Logan’s entire demeanor changed. They were close enough to kiss, weren’t they? He’d been fantasizing about it on more than one occasion, though Logan always classified them as nothing but. Nothing but fantasies to tuck away for reminiscing. But here, under starlight, with Virgil looking like a Lunar Queen, with those mesmerizing eyes trapping his, those fantasies seemed more like memories.
“Logan,” Virgil whispered. And like that, the spell was broken. Logan broke from his dreaming to hear a silent night once more, the song having ended without his notice. He opened his mouth to apologize, but Virgil beat him to it. “Look up.”
And, oh, wasn’t that a sight.
“I was wondering why you weren’t outside watching the meteor shower, and when I texted Patton, he said you were grading papers. Can you believe it? Missing the coolest thing in the world for a couple of dead trees?” Virgil was saying, his voice soft and gentle as a blanket.
Logan, of course, was too busy looking to hear him.
Not looking at the meteor shower—oh, no, no. As gorgeous as the black-blue-purple swashes of paint across the heavens was, as breath-taking as the falling stars were, as inspiring as the night sky captured in pure happiness was, none of it compared to the beauty he was so enraptured by—the beauty, of course, being the look of pure awe in Virgil’s eyes as he watched the meteors shoot across the sky.
Without thinking, Logan leaned over, and kissed him.
It was brief, but as soon as he pulled away, he said, “I think I love you.” Just to cement it, of course. To make sure Virgil knew.
The man in question stared at Logan, his eyes wide with surprise, and lips parted in an unspoken gasp. Virgil said nothing. He only grabbed the back of Logan’s neck and pulled him for a second, better kiss.
Two shooting stars crossed the sky together above them, as if in love.
#sanders sides#sanders sides au#human au#analogical#logan sanders#virgil sanders#roman sanders#patton sanders#deceit sanders#emile picani#teacher!logan#patton is diabetic y'all and lola is his service dog#first kiss#slowburn#also slow writing#this has been sitting in my drafts for a good month by now#to further date this#remus was not introduced when i first starting writing this#oh shit this also has a lot of songs mentioned in it#in no particular order#friend please#hooked on a feeling#thnks fr th mmrs#planetary (go!)#gives you hell#and also the song that's played in the cafe#the villain i appear to be#music video is an aesthetic so go check it out#fanfic#my fic
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Did you know. That I would like to hear. Everything I can about your OCs/Quasi-Self Inserts? Because Cringe Culture is dead and I love them.
First of all: THANK YOU for asking about them lol I saw the ask and I got so so excited cause I literally never stop thinking about them lol that being said, I apologize for the novel I just wrote about them lmfao I put it all under the cut (hopefully it works on mobile!), so hopefully I don’t bog down everyone’s feed.
So I don’t wanna reveal too much about Skylar (full name Valentine Skylar), cause I really do plan on actually writing the fic I planned for her (I’m just really good at procrastinating lmao), but like I said in an earlier post: she’s my bisexual disaster brain child running away from her homophobic parents and the threat of conversion therapy by impulsively deciding to sneak onto Law’s submarine when he visits her home island. I’m basing the conversion therapy stuff off of something similar in the Bloodlines series by Richelle Mead (one of my all time FAVORITES! If you like vampires, action, and romance I can’t recommend it enough! Though you should start with the first series, Vampire Academy as it introduces the world and the cast of characters and the events of that series lead directly into the Bloodlines series. I took some inspiration from Vampire Academy too for some other events in the fic as well).
Skylar is...a lot like me in personality lol she’s 5’5”, goofy, loves to laugh and sing and just generally have fun, and she’s very clumsy. She’s also got major anxiety, but it’s not something she actually has a diagnosis for (so she doesn’t know there’s a problem and can’t handle it when it flares up, she’s unprepared to deal with it). She does like to read, mostly fiction, and she likes to look at the stars, and gaze out the windows of the sub when they’re submerged. She’s very musically gifted. Part of her deal with Law for essentially free room and board is that she cooks (they don’t have a designated cook otherwise, and this way they never have to let Law back in the kitchen again), and while she’s cooking she’ll be singing so loud it carries through the pipes on the sub (almost like they have radio lmfao). She’s also impulsive; her decision to sneak onto Law’s sub was totally spur of the moment, she knew the risks, she knew exactly who’s ship she was sneaking onto (thanks to wanted posters), and that it was dangerous, but she still packed up as much of her stuff as she could, stole a TON of her parents’ money, and snuck on anyway. Law wonders a lot whether she’s just an idiot or possibly someone trying to spy on him (either for the Marines, or more sinisterly for Doflamingo. He knows the likelihood for either of these things is extremely slim, but he keeps her close so he can keep an eye on her. He can’t afford to make a mistake with that). It takes a LONG time for them to move past the “I don’t trust you” stage, and even then she’s much more invested than he is for a really long time, mostly because he’s an emotionally constipated BUTT who doesn’t like to acknowledge that he FEELS THINGS lmao
Most of her life she’s been fighting against someone else’s control; mostly her parents (she’s 21 at the start of the story but hasn’t been able to feel like a true adult until she leaves, they’ve had such a hold over her AND they’re powerful people where she lives so she HAS to leave the island completely to be free). She also experienced some of this with her girlfriend, Mimi, though not to nearly the same extreme. Mimi had big dreams of getting off their island and becoming a world famous musician, along with Skylar. Skylar just wants to travel the world, but Mimi’s loud personality manipulated her into adopting the dream of being a musician. It wasn’t malicious in any way, but usually when Mimi would say “We’re doing this” or “We don’t like that”, Skylar usually agreed. She wouldn’t speak out against it, in part due to finally feeling loved (ahh parent issues lol). About a year before the start of the story, Mimi joins the Marines as a way to start earning some money, as well as getting her foot out the door in a way (it gets her off the island, so all that’s needed is to earn enough to get settled somewhere, go back for Skylar, and then they can begin their life together). Unfortunately, her patrol ship was destroyed by a pirate crew a few months later, and she’s now MIA and presumed dead.
Being with Law and his crew is really the first time she’s been able to try deciding things for herself, and then follow through. He’s not gonna try to push her in any direction, that’s not his business, and so there comes an extra sense of freedom with them that she’s never had before.
Law also keeps her around because he finds out she has a roundabout connection to Doflamingo, and he thinks he can find a way to exploit that connection for information. Her parents have a very on-the-level business selling pharmaceuticals, which is what keeps them in good standing with the Marines when they come to the island (there’s no actual base set up, but there’s another close by). They ALSO have a black market business smuggling hallucinogens throughout the Grand Line, beginning to venture into the other seas as well, starting with North Blue. There’s a fruit that grows on the island called the Follia Fruit (literally Insanity in Italian) which causes strong hallucinations when eaten. They were able to get a good foot in the black market using Doflamingo’s connections, and they know HIM because they were actually formerly part of his crew (they left the crew before Law joined, so he doesn’t know them, and they left because Skylar’s grandmother was dying and leaving the entire fortune and family-run business to them, otherwise they would’ve stayed with Doffy. Skylar’s more of an object for them to use.) Skylar vaguely knows her parents have an underworld contact, she’s seen his Jolly Roger in her father’s office, near his wall safe, but she doesn’t know who he actually is. At most she’s heard mention of a “Joker” and that’s it, so Law can easily fish for information without giving up that he’s honestly using her too (he doesn’t have any reason to just be nice to her, especially since she snuck onboard before he ever met her, and that’s part of the journey; balancing his goal with the fact he’s developing feelings for the person he’s using to help achieve that goal). It’s a slooooooooow burn btw lol takes a long time for things to truly get going between them, but when it does it kinda picks up quick. It’s gonna be fun lol
Speaking of the Follia Fruit, that’s how Skylar got her devil fruit. I do NOT have a name for it yet, because I can’t find one I like that still overall fits? But essentially she can manipulate light particles (photons? Idk science stuff, whatever light is actually made of). She can use it to create a camouflage cover (it’s main use, she’s a sneaky person despite also being clumsy as hell lmfao), and that works like she’s placing a cloak over herself (like an invisibility cloak!), and she also eventually learns to create force fields of hardened light, like the light bridges in Portal 2 (it takes a lot of energy though, so it’s not nearly as easy, but it does come in handy). Whether these are all actually scientifically sound remains irrelevant, in my universe it works muahahaha (there is precedent for these powers at least, I just don’t know how it all actually works. Science is NOT my forte). She was actually trying to eat the Follia Fruit when she ate the devil fruit instead, as when consumed in a large enough dose it can be fatal (so yeah, WARNING there: her girlfriend is dead, she’s being tortured, she manages to escape at one point and decides she absolutely is NOT going back). Fortunately, she didn’t check what fruit she was eating before chowing down, and she not only lived but she gained super powers lol. She also at one point asks Law to help teach her how to fight and defend herself, which is super fun cause she’s NOT in shape lol but she does eventually learn at least basic hand to hand and how to use a blade (typically a knife or a dagger, she’s small).
Skylar also works very hard to develop her Observation Haki. I’ve always wondered if it was possible to manipulate your haki so you could be indetectable by other users, which would be extremely useful when your abilities include sneaking and camouflage. So Skylar learns how to do it, focusing more on the detection aspects of haki than any of the other uses (predicting movement). It hasn’t been shown in canon, obviously, but I think it’s feasible.
Clearly I’ve thought a lot about all this, now it’s just a matter of writing actual sentences lmao
My other main OC is Monkey D. Hazel. She’s Luffy’s big sister, older by about 4 years (so she’s older than Ace and Sabo by 1 year). She’s a good big sister lol she’s super protective, almost mothering despite not being that much older, and it drives the boys nuts (but they still love her anyway and appreciate her for it and all that. They can take care of themselves, but they know if they ever needed her to step in she would in a heartbeat). She’s not nearly as chaotic as Luffy, but she does follow him into a lot of shenanigans (usually with a shrug and a grin like “yup that’s Luffy”). She’s always wanted to help Luffy achieve his dream, and write down his adventures for future generations to read, so she stayed behind until he was ready to start on his own pirate journey.
She also totally had a thing with Ace (I know it can be kinda iffy, given their shared past and psuedo-sibling status, but I think they work well together, and given that they were 2 teens going through puberty at the same time in the same area, I think it’s extremely likely they could’ve developed feelings for each other that they didn’t necessarily fully understand at the time. I also don’t think she’d be one to participate in the sake drinking scene that the boys use to say “ok we’re brothers now”, and until she was an adult only saw Ace as a close friend that Luffy also saw as a big brother. Being that they were in the same age group, I think it’s less likely she’d see him and Sabo as brothers until they were much older. Sorry if that seems like I’m making excuses, I know not everyone is going to agree with that kind of “ship”, but I literally started shipping them on accident and now I can’t stop cause it makes sense to me that something would have happened between them, even something small). Any relationship they did have ended when Ace left to be a pirate, and with time spent apart and both growing older, Hazel’s views turn more sisterly, like “We grew up together, he’s practically my brother” (though Ace’s may or may not have stayed kind of the same. It makes for interesting conversation when they do meet again in Alabasta). When he dies, she’s absolutely devastated, and does start to wonder “what if?”, like what if she’d pursued a real relationship with him from the beginning, gone with him, could she have kept him safe, etc. It takes a very long time for her to come to terms with it, and to accept that she couldn’t have done anything to stop it, nor was it her place to try. She loses her best friend, and it does take some of the spark out of her, so she’s more reserved after the time skip.
She loses her right leg in a fight with CP9, essentially the bones gets crushed, and her new pal Franky helps whip up a cool robot leg for her in between work on the new ship. It’s got a few bells and whistles: a pistol in the kneecap, a roller blade in the bottom of the foot, and she can detach the metal plates in a way that makes her taller (if she stands on one leg lol). She thinks Franky is SUPER cool (I always hated that the girls in the series never think robots or ninjas or anything are cool, she’s not like that lmfao), and Luffy is jealous of her robot leg.
She sustained some pretty major burns to her right side at Marineford (either by Akainu when he murdered Ace; she stepped in front of Luffy, Ace stepped in front of her, the magma-arm didn’t touch her skin because it was stopped by her coat, but the heat was enough to still cause 3rd-degree burns to her arm, shoulder, and face because it’s fucking LAVA, and destroy half of her clothing; OR some other thing set on fire and burned her lol I dunno enough to say whether that’s feasible with magma but I like that version better, that it was caused in some way by Akainu). It was a question of if she’d ever be able to use her arm again, but Law’s a very good doctor (though she did threaten him when he wouldn’t let her see Luffy right away, saying with him being in critical condition they couldn’t risk an infection. She was not happy). She actually bonds slightly with Law after they escape and she’s in stable condition, cause she breaks down about what happened before he can escape (lol). In her mind she’s just lost another person she cared about (a brother-type figure, and someone she loves very much in her own way), and Luffy could very well be on his deathbed, and she can’t even see him, and the rest of their crew is who knows where, and she may lose use of her arm, and she HURTS, and it’s a lot to take in. Law keeps trying to tell her to calm down or she’ll undo everything he just did to save her, and she accuses him of being insensitive (I mean...yeah), and throws out a comment like “what you never lost anybody? Fuck off”. He glares at her, then sits and sighs, hiding his face beneath his hat. He’s silent for a while, then tells her he’s also lost a sibling. He doesn’t say anything more, doesn’t give details, but it still hits like a slap to the face, and she realizes he’s offering an olive branch by telling her that, and that hey here’s someone who knows exactly how you feel right now, don’t push away the only person who understands. They don’t bring it up again, but she does start to calm down.
The Crew: When she met Zoro she kept scolding Luffy about bossing him around, that it’s not his place to tell someone they’re joining the crew (of course he doesn’t listen), but after Zoro joins they get along really really well (she also mildly flirts with him for fun, he blushes like crazy, but it’s pretty harmless overall. Those three together is pretty chaotic on its own lol).
She didn’t trust Nami at first, as she came out of nowhere after messing with a different pirate, so she’s wary that the girl has something up her sleeve regarding her brother, but after they defeat Arlong Hazel is extremely protective of her, and the two take care of each other (also again: mild flirting. That time spent with Ace as a teen really helped Hazel’s confidence as a flirt, but after the time skip a lot of that goes away).
Hazel and Usopp tell stories together, usually for the whole crew, and she sees him as another little brother sort of figure. Chopper is baby, she loves Chopper instantly and will beat down anyone that looks at him funny. She doesn’t flirt with Sanji, because she doesn’t like the way he falls over himself around her and doesn’t want to encourage more of it, but once he (finally) takes the hint the two have a very strong friendship. She was very wary of Robin, until Water 7/Enies Lobby, and now sees her as an older sister. Robin, for her part, and even Franky to some degree, wish that Hazel would stop trying to be the crew’s grown up, and would go have fun as a girl in her early 20’s. She does ease up once the two join the crew, but bonds with the adults a lot. She’s someone the younger crew members go to with problems, but Robin and Franky, and eventually Brook and Jinbei, are who Hazel goes to for advice.
After the 5th time of Brook asking to see her panties, she says fuck it and throws a clean pair at him, saying that’s all he gets and if he asks her one more time she WILL throw him overboard. He doesn’t bring it up again.
Jinbei actually shows her the basics of Fishman Karate on their way back to Marineford before the timeskip. She still can’t move too well, so she just watches, but she incorporates what she learns into her fighting style.
She wanted to stay with Luffy when he went to train with Rayliegh, but the old man put a stop to it right away saying she’d not only be too distracted to focus on her own training, but she’d likely coddle Luffy. It was better for them to spend some time apart anyway, for really the first time in their lives, and though she’s nervous about not being with him she agrees. Hancock ends up taking her under her wing for the time being, but only because she’s Luffy’s sister (and therefore not a threat lmfao).
As far as after the time skip, she’s mostly the same but doesn’t immediately jump into Luffy’s shenanigans, and can be more of a voice of reason when needed. At Punk Hazard, she’s the first one of the Straw Hats (besides Luffy) to trust Law and agree that they should form an alliance. She furiously hates Caesar, like she isn’t even able to be near him or his heart cause she might stab him and ruin the whole plan (you don’t mess with kids man Hazel WILL fuck you up). At Dressrosa she joins in the fight to help the Tontattas, and follows Usopp and Robin to the port under the coliseum. When she sees Sabo, she IMMEDIATELY bursts into tears and latches onto his shoulders so tight it would take a crowbar to separate them (not that he tries, he’s happy to see her too). She also scolds Robin later for not telling her, but the older woman just laughs and says “but isn’t this so much better?” It is, but Hazel won’t admit it yet lol
She doesn’t go with Luffy to Whole Cake Island, but she does end up meeting up with him and Zoro in Wano, and helps rescue O-Tama.
Potential love interests for Hazel (besides Ace) would be Zoro, Nami, or Law, but honestly she could be shipped with anyone which makes it super fun lol (if anyone read this whole thing and has ideas send them in I’d love to hear them!!)
Anyway thank you for reading this entire long ass essay about my brain children! I think about them a lot, as I’m sure you can tell lol
#valentine skylar#monkey d. hazel#one piece oc#one piece original character#trafalgar law#portgas d. ace#roronoa zoro#cat burglar nami#law x oc stuff#fan fiction#zoro x oc#nami x oc#ace x oc#long post#doesn't look like the read more is working on mobile I'm so sorry#thanks for the ask!
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That post about the girl who won that Spongebob shirt contest is making its way across m dash again and frankly yall gotta shut up. Everyone is all "cringe culture is dead" and "enjoy what you want!!" until someone actually dares to have an interest thats slightly weird but ultimately harmless!!
#the musings of max#shes been getting genuinely bullied over this shit#99% of yall have written self insert fanfics for that fuckin cat book everyone is cringe
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Remember when I said I’d write a post on how gender works in my lore and then completely forgot to actually do it? Yeah. Well, I’m doing it now.
Also known as “non-binary idiot tries to deconstruct and explain gender in a fantasy setting disconnected from the modern Western idea of gender and boy does it probably not go well”
Disclaimer: this is about my lore. You’re free to use any of this for your own, but I’m not here to tell you how or what to write, and this has very little to do with site canon.
My starting point for this whole pile of words was that at the end of the day, all my trans dragons are non-dysphoric. Why? Because in the lore I worldbuild upon what FR gives us, gender dysphoria doesn’t have much room to actually exist.
The factors here are:
Most breeds have little to no visible sexual dimorphism. Skydancers have their feelers and pearlcatchers have their horns, yes, but many others, like fae and imperials and nocturnes have nothing! Tundras are known to change hairstyles depending on climate, so good luck figuring that out.
A lot of these small differences are also easily augmented, like shaving/adding guardian beards, but whether dragons choose to transition is a whole other deal. And also: a lot of times they don’t feel the need to! Okay, let’s carry on, I’ll tell you why.
If you really wanna put some sort of discrimination in your lore (I don’t, but I won’t judge you if you do and, y’know, don’t do it horribly), would that really be based on sex? Really? In a world where you can barely even guess at a dragon’s sex (like you’d need to…) but have a whole bunch of different breeds that wary greatly in size, morphology and even culture? My dude, there’s a lot more to grasp at there than just whether someone has two horns or one.
Okay, back to my lore, because that’s what I’m talking about here specifically. In my lore, genders assigned at birth don’t exist! How neat, right? While different clans have different customs, assigning hatchlings genders instead of letting them do it themselves, and raising them differently based on that is widely considered strange, if not downright wrong and abusive. Since we’re writing in English here, some handling of gender (gendered pronouns, mainly), stem from that. Hatchlings, until they express that they’d like otherwise, are referred to with neutral terms. (These neutral terms are not exclusive to hatchlings, they’re used for anyone of unspecified gender, like the English “they”.) It’s generally considered rude to question or disregard a hatchling, no matter how young, expressing that they’d like to be referred to as X gender with Y pronouns, the same way you wouldn’t doubt that their favourite plushie is, in fact, called Fluffkins Bouncyflops the Destroyer.
The general attitude around gender is just...chill. You say you identify this way? Okay, cool! We use the same label or pronouns, but our experiences aren’t the same? So what? Misgendering or using gendered language before knowing someone’s pronouns or preferred terms is considered rude and is fairly rare.
On the bottom line this doesn’t just mean that gender dysphoria doesn’t have much place in my lore (gender euphoria is a different question, I feel like that’d still be much more common), but it also comes with the expected effect that the word “trans”, as well as most terms I use to describe my dragons’ gender, don’t make sense for the dragons themselves! I still use terms like “demigirl” and “trans male” to make it easier to understand for me and to anyone who might be reading, and to establish a connection with our world, terminology and experiences, but they’re more like placeholders, because I’m not making a language for this (and because putting a glossary in every bio would be bothersome.)
Because if there’s no AGAB, there’s no “opposite” or “other” to it! How do you define “trans” when you don’t have a “starter” gender to relate your current one to? You just can’t! Which, to me, is super interesting. It also makes it harder to give meaning to “gay” and “lesbian” when there’s no “opposite” gender or even sexual dimorphism to conform to, but that’s already a problem in our world if you acknowledge non-binary people.
In-lore, there’s an infinite amount of words dragons use to describe their gender identity. They’re drawn anywhere from tradition and various cultures (including beastclans), through things you’d consider completely irrelevant to gender (e.g. nature), to the deities themselves! (That’s right! Cringe culture and gatekeeping are dead, gender is fun, and all labels and pronouns are valid!)
Long story short, if you try to rebuild gender for a fantasy setting, you’re gonna have to answer the question – what even is gender? And, if you’re like me, you’ll wind up with a really nice lil place where everyone is non-binary and no one is at all bothered by it.
#newt is writing about baldwins osha crimes so that motivated me somehow to write this down#its really not impressive just me going 'wow gender sure is fake!' a bunch#sorry if this came out v dry i get nervous about using my regular writing style for longer posts#lore#my lore#kata's chatter
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