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#‘I can’t even listen anymore’ sucks to be you. the music that has been put out hasn’t changed so I don’t understand this one
foxgloveinspace · 4 months
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People jumping ship cause of the new masks is very ahhhh. Telling. Tbh.
#very much so#tell me you where only here cause of the looks without telling me your only here cause of the looks#listen. I miss the old masks already too. that’s not the point.#you can mourn for something without that taking away your joy for it.#‘it’s all moving so fast’ iii has been turning red since July.#‘they’re evolving too fast’ or we just got here later then others.#‘I can’t even listen anymore’ sucks to be you. the music that has been put out hasn’t changed so I don’t understand this one#‘they’re gonna get cancelled over this’ ok. I guess this is just thinning out the people who were real fans and who where fake fans#I’m gonna be a sleep token fan til the end. if this is the way they want their image to go? I’ll follow. if we get heavier music next?#sounds fucking amazing to me. (I listen to heavier stuff anyway).#idk I just think it’s so so so fucking telling. that if your jumping ship cause their Live Performance Aesthetic has changed… you didn’t#mean it when you said sleep token was important to you.#like I’m 100% MOURNING the old masks. I am BMO with Finn’s old hair sobbing about the old masks.#but I know this too shall pass#this is how I fucking felt about Vessel’s mask change#and to everyone going ‘what about Vessel and the Chior!’#1). VESSEL HAD A MASK CHANGE EARLIER THIS YEAR!!! he isn’t gonna change masks again so fast those fuckers r expensive!#2). the choir did have a change?? they wherent wearing robes at all and where in body chains they looked amazing#I get we are all neurodiverse and hate change but take a deep breath before you renounce all your sleep token love#I’m guessing Vessel will get a new mask in April again. for the kick off show.#tonight was a closing show. and he didn’t FEEL GOOD. I wouldn’t be surprised that if he was gonna do something with a new mask#if he pushed it back because he didn’t feel good.#he performed a whole show while we could TELL his throat was hurting. fuck.#I want to wrap him up in a warm hug and give him hot water with honey in it.#idk I’m rambling. it’s just telling.
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subskz · 1 year
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Rin.... Rin, I crave violence
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I saw these and your girl got the most heinous thoughts bouncing around in the head.
SO
Cabin, Snow, There's Only One Bed, Accidental Confession, & Sex. Are you following?
I hope so.
~~~
Picture it: You, Channie, and Co. have decided to stay at a cabin in the woods for a couple of days in winter (see Channie's outfit up above) and as everyone else goes off to have fun in the snow, (I've grown to dislike the snow after having multiple snow days back to back bc I don't get snow often; Ms. Pink was nawt having it) you two decide to hang back
So you two kinda just shrug it off and try to stay preoccupied while by yourselves
And maybe that involves a game or two here and there, music stuff, cooking and things don't get heated until you two make a bet that you, just so happen to, win.
That bet? The other has to do whatever the other says until the others get back.
And you can't help but notice how eager he is to follow your directions and orders; or how he starts to act cuter around you and pouty when feeling a skosh playful.
So maybe you ask for a kiss to gauge his reaction; ofc Channie is malfunctioning so you're all like "jk jk im totally not-" then BOOM! A big ole smooch is what you get.
And then, he's like "omg oh god im so sorry" then you kiss him and he can't help but moan at it (perv Channie?... oh that's something i will be back abt, mark that down)
N e ways, let's talk abt sex now
Chan and his babyboy-isms seem to just increase tenfold; pouty, whiney, all flushed, wanting physical contact, oral fixation all on 10.
And, him being a service top, he is so hellbent on pleasing you. But he's also been dealing with this huge crush on you, so when he finally enters you, he swears he's entering the 5th dimension.
But also instantly blurts out that he has feelings for you... whoops. Can't help it, unfortunately; another victim of being brain mush as soon as he gets off :(
Give him a kiss on his lips and nose and tell him how you feel and help guide him; poor pup is just too into his subspace to even form coherent sentences anymore and probably too preoccupied with sucking on your fingers or chest 🤷‍♀️
Now, afterglow and post-orgasm clarity is such a real thing (it's happened once to me but i had the munchies like fucking crazy so it didn't last lmao) so Channie is embarrassed when he realized that he involuntarily confessed like that.
~~~
Sorry for the word vomit; currently half past 11pm and I've been sipping on black tea all-day so... :) 3rd eye is just working over time.
Also, I called a specific Hyunjin look back in 2021, so Pink is just Clairvoyant when it comes to Hyunjin specifically (it's bc we're both Pisces)
the fact that these pics led to this stroke of genius from you…put channie in a sweater n suspenders more often bc i’m actually gonna lose my mind over how much i love this 😵‍💫 him pining after you…simultaneously so shy but so eager…the desperate need to please you…the way he goes dumb the moment he’s inside you…blurting out his confession…it has all the elements of a perfect channie concept
HAHA yes let’s settle for the romantic atmosphere inside the cabin away from the snow…maybe even w a warm fire crackling to really set the mood ♡ channie being his sweet good-natured lil self and listening to everything you say without question…the thought of him getting playful at some point and pretending to disobey you w a cheeky dimpled grin…pure devastation. he’d look so adorably proud of himself it’s almost enough to let it slide, but you don’t even get the chance before he takes it back w a giggle and follows your order anyway 🥰
his heart-shaped lips look extra red and kissable bc of the cold who could resist <3 and god the way he’d just lean completely into that sweet, unbashedly needy side of himself once he sees how much you like it…the epitome of baby boy w the way he clings to you and nuzzles into your chest and starts to whine if he can’t feel your touch for even a moment. and nothing on earth makes me crazier than the idea of channie’s mind going blank the moment he feels you around him…suddenly he’s lost and clueless and needs you to direct him to do every little thing so he can satisfy you properly ❤️‍🔥 he may not be able to think for himself but he still carries out all your orders like a good boy! and ofc when his emotions are running so high and his head is so scrambled from the pleasure, he can’t help but babble on abt how much he loves you in a way that’ll have him absolutely mortified when that giddy haze finally wears off~
no need to apologize as u can see this resonated w me very much hehe ^_^ you and hyune really have some kind of piscean psychic link that no one else can comprehend i’ll look forward to what you predict next 😼
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ttoadsandsnails · 1 year
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How about a demon asking Reader for a dance?
Also one piece of advice: if you write longer pieces then its good to put most of the text behind a "Read more" that way it doesn't cause infinite scrolling for people.
Thank you for the ask!
Thank you for reminding me! I've been meaning to go back and make my stories be read mores, they are fixed now :)
Hope you like it!
Word count: 579
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Demon asking reader for a dance
It would happen at a friend's gathering.
He would be dressed nicely, semi casual, with his long crimson hair tied up out of his face.
He would be so nervous but would try to hide it with feigned confidence.
He’d keep to a corner just listening to the music, occasionally glancing your way, chiding himself for not asking you to dance.
Others would notice his grim demeanor, whispering around if he’s ok or upset.
It would take you walking over to him for him to even say anything the whole time.
If he wasn’t nervous before, he sure is now with your proximity.
He would keep crossing and uncrossing his broad arms out of nervousness.
He has many nervous habits like biting his lip.
The moment he hears your voice he can’t help but have trouble forming sentences.
He just likes you so much.
Over the moon when you accept his offer.
Had nothing to worry about in the first place.
Longing glances are shot through the room landing softly on your frame. Saro gnaws on the corner of his bottom lip absentmindedly, now slightly swollen from the almost constant nervous habit. 
It always happens when you’re around.
Thoughts race about whether he has the courage to approach and ask for a dance or if he’ll let another opportunity to get close to you slip by.
Saro closes his eyes letting his head fall back and heaves a long sigh, ceasing the assault on his tender skin, unsure what action to take.
The sound of a clearing throat forces him to snap his head back upright as he sucks in a deep breath. It’s them, standing so close glancing up curiously, eyebrow arched in an unasked question.
“Oh uh….hi?” he croaks out, mentally scolding himself for how meek he sounds.
“Hey. Doing alright over here?” you ask in a soft tone, trying not to startle him anymore than you already did.
“You know you don’t have to stay in the corner. You’re more than welcome to come over with the rest of us.”
“Yes, I know-” he says quickly, trying to ease his rapidly increasing pulse. 
“I uhm...I actually…actually have a question to ask you, if that’s alright!” Saro speedily added.
You conceal a small chuckle at his behavior, clear your throat, and nod.
“Of course, you can ask me anything, Saro, you know that.” 
His four golden eyes scan the room before landing back on yours with a nervous glint.
“I know...” he says softly.
He wrings his hands together, then runs his hands over his hair, smoothing it down while avoiding his sharp horns. He closes his eyes once more drawing in a deep breath, slowly letting it back out. Golden eyes once more gaze into yours as he gives a short nod.
“I was wondering if you would perhaps give me the honor of a dance?” said with as much confidence as he could muster. Trying not to shut his eyes again in fear of your response.
“Saro, is that what you were so worked up over? Of course we can dance! Anytime you want, not just at gatherings.”
You reach over and grab his arm, his large apricot hand clammy and stiff in your grip. With a tug, you both head to the middle of the room where the designated dance floor is. As you two walk, Saro can’t help but give a lopsided grin and wonder how he ended up so lucky.
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asshlyyyy · 2 years
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Look Deep Within Pt. 3 (Dylan Lenivy x reader)
Here it is. I struggled a bit with this part, but I think a lot of you are going to enjoy it. Just as a little spoiler, there might be two more parts until this story leaps into the events of the game. It might take me longer to get those chapters out... just because I want to jam pack everything into it. 
Also, if you ever see something that fits the description of a girl, please let me know. I’ve been really good at making sure things are told in a way where you describe yourself. I know I accidently said her instead of them in the last part and that has since been fixed!
Masterlist
warnings: swearing          wc: 2.1k
11:02 | July 3 Hackett's Quarry Lodge Kitchen
Your e/c eyes were stuck staring at the ingredients in front of you. It's not like you forgot how to make the food. It was a very simple recipe and very simple food. It just felt like, your mind was clouded with something else, perhaps Dylan? You have been lost in your mind ever since that one day at breakfast.
"Heellloooo~" Dylan sang as he walked into the kitchen. He was wearing his usual look of a t-shirt and jeans. Very stylish, very comfy. You looked over at him and sent him a small smile before going back to looking at the food in front of you.
"Where's your group?" You asked as you started to paste together what you had to do.
"They're out with Jacob. He's doing ya know, sport things." He answered and stood next to the table you were standing at. He looked down at the food and at your confused face.
"Right right, I forgot that was before lunch,"
"You okay there? Do you need a reminder for what you need to make?" He chuckled lightly.
"No, my mind is just blank at the moment." You replied as you pushed the ingredients together for the corresponding food.
"Ah, brain fart," he nodded and leaned against the counter.
"Yeah..." you mumbled and took a step back and nodded.
"Okay, so meatball subs are pretty simple. We just need to heat up the meatballs and sauce. The pasta salad... We need to cook the noodles, and then put them in the fridge to cool... cut some veggies, we'll have to boil eggs... um..."
"Chill, y/l/n, how about you focus on stuff that goes on the stove, and I'll start cutting things up," Dylan suggested. You nodded at the suggestion.
"Yeah, that works," you agreed and started to get ready. It was sometimes quite awkward when it was just you and Dylan. After you found out about him being your long-lost best friend... It's like you didn't want to be yourself anymore. Mostly in fear that he would find out and it would just get awkward... Would it? It would be awkward for you at least.
Out of everyone, it had to be him? I mean it made sense. He had that humor that attracted you to him in the first place. The charmish smile, those beautiful beautiful eyes- oh my god. Shake the thought out of your head.
That was before... six years ago, he is not the same person as he was then. People change when they hit puberty, and he definitely did. I mean... he got way taller and stood above you no matter what. Some might even describe him as the Hyperion. Aka, the tallest tree in the world.
"It sucks Mr. H took out phones. We could be listening to some jams right now," Dylan commented. You nodded in agreement. He was right, it would be nice to listen to some music while making food for all the kids. And to help keep your head out of your thoughts.
"There might be a radio somewhere? Don't know what stations you would find though," You explained while bringing out some big pots.
"In this very kitchen? Okay, break from the veggies, I'm looking for this radio." He seemed determined, that or he just wanted to get out of cutting veggies. His eyes gazed around the room at the possible locations that the radio could be hidden.
"I don't think so... maybe in one of the tall shelves, or something. I haven't been able to reach up there." You suggested, to which he let out a laugh.
"I gotta hand it to you short people... mostly because they can't' reach it anyways," he held a smug look on his face.
"Is that supposed to be funny?" You looked over at him confused.
"Y-yes?" Dylan sounded unsure of himself. You shook your head and let out a small laugh. He was trying to be funny and you had to give that to him. When in doubt, laugh at the sad attempt at their joke.
"Just look for that radio, dumb dumb." you kept a smile on your face.
"Aww, I got you to laugh," Dylan made his way over to you.
"I think you're just hearing things to feed your ego," You replied not realizing that he was behind you.
"Is that so?" He said as tased your side. You let out a yelp and felt your body fall backward from the impact. Dylan's laugh filled your ears as he easily caught you from falling to the ground. Your head fell back against his chest as you let out a laugh. His arms wrapped around your waist, a smile wide on his face. His eyes looked towards your face.
"Hello fell-" the voice broke you guys out of your... whatever you would call it. The two of you quickly pulled away from each other.
"Am I interrupting something...?" Nick asked as he looked at the both of you.
"No no," you shook your head.
"I was uh- I was looking for the radio. Yes... yes and she um-" Dylan tried to come up with an idea.
"I slipped and he caught me, yup, yup," You stepped in.
"Right... right..." Nick nodded slowly, "right... should I go?"
"No! You- You can help." Dylan nodded in agreement as he slowly pulled himself further and further away from you.
"Are you sure? Cause the two of you look like you have it all under control" Nick pointed out as he slowly backed towards the door.
"I swear Nick. You tell anyone what you saw and put it without context, I will tell Abi how you feel about her." You threatened the poor boy.
"I- You got it, boss," and with that Nick left the kitchen. You let out a sigh and felt your face heat up. You turned towards the pots that were on the stove and steered the sauce to keep it from burning.
"Right... now... where was the pesky radio," Dylan muttered and continued to look for the radio. Your eyes were glued to the food out of fear that... if you looked at Dylan you would break.
It's not like you had a thing for Dylan... it was more like... an awkward moment that would... um.. that would... You know... You didn't want to have anything major. You weren't even looking for a real friendship this summer, let alone a whole-ass relationship.
"Ah-huh!" Dylan explained as you heard the cupboard open and close. You turned your head and watched as he pulled out an old radio. "Now let's see if we can get this baby working."
"Even if you get it working... would you even be able to find a station from all the way out here?" You asked. You were sure that, back when the radio was more useful there were a lot more radio stations out there. However, now you weren't so hopeful.
"God I hope so," he said as he plugged the radio in, and started to fiddle around with it. You shook your head and set up the final things on the stove to cook, before heading over to wear the veggies were to cut them... Since Dylan abandoned that task.
As you went ahead to cut the veggies the static of the radio filled your ears. You didn't know if it was worse than having your thoughts speaking aloud when there was no sound. After a few more moments of having to listen to it... you definitely agreed that the static was way worse.
"There has to be a station, why have a radio if you can't use it?" Dylan pointed out. You hummed a response and finished cutting up the rest of the veggies. You used the knife to push them all into a big bowl.
Shortly after tossing the veggies together, music started to fill your ears. You looked over at Dylan who was pumping his fists into the air in celebration.
"Oh hell yeah! Let's get it,"
"Not exactly the best, but-" you chuckled lightly.
"But it's something," he finished your sentence. You nodded in agreement and went back over to the food that was on the stove.
"Oh shit, are you almost done? Fuck, I'm sorry. I've been no help whatsoever." He apologized and sent you a sincere smile. You shrugged your shoulders in response. It's not like you weren't used to working by yourself.
"It's okay, I'll just have you do the living heavy." You smiled gently towards him. You weren't exactly the strongest, considering all the heavy lifting you did was mostly in the summer... you didn't gain much muscle to be able to pick up pots full of food.
"Ah yes, with my spaghetti arms," he chuckled as he lifted up his arms. He then started to make his way over to you to help with said heavy lifting.
"Nah, you got some muscles," You pointed out as you combined the meatballs into the tomato sauce, having to stand on your tippy-toes. You heard Dylan laughing from behind you.
"I make do with what I have, and these pots are tall," You fought for your height.
"Whatever you say, y/l/n." He said as he leaned against the counter.
As you got the meatballs in, you checked the noodles by taking one out and trying it. As it was at a good texture you grabbed a huge colander and placed it into the sink. You looked at Dylan and tossed him some oven mitts to protect his hands from the hot pot.
"Alright, put those muscles into effect and dump the noodles out into the colander. And keep your face away from the steam, or  you'll whine." You explained. He nodded and put on the fun crab-themed mitts that you begged Mr. H to get. You giggled lightly at his appearance.
"Hang on now," he pointed his clawed hand at you. You stiffed out a laugh and covered your mouth. He rolled his eyes playfully and went towards the pot.
He grabbed the pot full of steaming hot water and noodles and brought it over to the sink. You stepped away to give him some more room. You watched as he dropped every single last piece of noodle out into the colander.
"Once it's empty you can just put it in the other sink for now." You said to him while bringing a cart over to easily transport the noodles to the fridge. As he dumped the pot into the sink, he grabbed the colander full of noodles and placed it on the cart for you.
"Thank you," you said while taking it over to the fridge. You opened the doors and moved over some of the food already in it to make room for the noodles. Since Dylan didn't know what to do, he just watched you.
Your hair was pulled up into a messy bun. The light perfectly danced against the sun as you shined ever so lightly. A small red-tinted your cheeks still from before. He smiled gently at the sight of you.
Before you knew it, you and Dylan were taking all the food out into the main room of the lodge. The two of you put the food out and covered them to make sure they stayed warm. You felt the weight of perfection fall off your shoulders as you realized... you were done with lunch. For some reason, lunch always seemed to stress you out more than breakfast or dinner.
"Hey, take a breath, you did amazing like always," Dylan complimented as he placed his hand on your shoulder. You looked over at him and smiled softly.
"Thanks, Lenivy." You responded as you let out a much-needed breath. You looked out the window at the view and smiled. What you would do to spend time here without having to work. Dylan slowly but surely pulled his hand off you and stuffed them into his pockets.
"The view is amazing. Even after so many years, it somehow gets better with every year." He spoke from beside you.
"Yeah... It's so peaceful."
The doors to the lodge opened and the voices of many kids entered. You gave Dylan one last smile before going off and finding your group. A huge smile on your face as you got reunited with your favorites.
"Y/n!" Some of the kids yelled as they rushed over to you. They started to tell you about their day so far as you listened to every single one of them.
Dylan watched from afar. It felt as if he was back in camp six years ago. He felt his heart beat out of his chest as he heard someone ask to braid your hair. He knew who you were.
Taglist: @starjane312
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I used to use my tumblr as a way to send my thoughts out without people I know starting drama or whatever so I’m gonna do that now and just talk about my depression and my band and my marriage.
I’ve been in a band with my best friends since I was 15, I’m now 28. We haven’t played a show since 2018(ish?) and have been struggling to get back into the groove for years because we’re all grown ups now. Our frontman is bipolar and has had several fights with me about my wife since we’ve gotten together, he feels like she hates him and she feels like he doesn’t respect me or my band or our time. I’ve tried for years to get them to get over it, but there’s always some vitriol between them no matter what.
Yesterday my wife was talking loudly to me during practice about our frontman’s reliability issues, and said it was disrespectful for him to be consistently late, and it was shitty of him to show up to the last practice drunk (which is a longer story, but the gist of it is that he’s not allowed to be at my house drunk because he’s been an asshole to my wife). He heard her through the wall and left practice without a word, and later texted me for hours about how insulted he was and how bad he deserves an apology, all the while talking me down and treating me like shit. And while at the end of the discussion he settled down and apologized for being an asshole, it doesn’t make it so he wasn’t an asshole, and it doesn’t make it so that I feel like he’s not gonna do that again the second he feels challenged, because he’s done it several times since I got married. I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells to keep him from popping off, and that doesn’t feel good.
Frankly, I know that everyone in the band wants to smooth things over, but I’m pissed about it, and I don’t want anything to do with it. I’m not a very spiteful person and I’m bad at holding people accountable, and I’m afraid of conflict, and I’m generally unhappy with myself about a lot of stuff, but I feel like I deserve better than to be belittled by my “best friend” until he gets his way. It’s shitty that he thinks he can just talk down to people and be exonerated, and if my bandmates roll over and let him do what he wants I’m probably going to quit my band.
That sucks, because these are really my very best friends, I love them like brothers and I don’t want to lose my band I’ve been working on for almost half my life. But also, I’ve been disenchanted for a long time with music and my band, and I feel like I’ve outgrown a lot of what we’ve done and been doing for years. Frankly, I’m not sure I even want to make music anymore, and it’s been that way for a while. Growing up is really hard because you take your dreams and essentially you have to get very lucky or settle at some point, and I don’t think I can make it in music, I think my time has passed and I should probably let go of that dream. Which is hard, cuz it’s all I’ve ever wanted ya know?
But also, if I’m making music, I think I deserve to be making it with people who respect my time, respect me, and know how to have the hard conversations without intentionally trying to hurt each other. I play music because it makes me happy, and I haven’t been happy playing music for a long time, and that’s really depressing. It’s depressing that I get so much pressure put on me to be the support for my friend, who “can’t do it without me” and “doesn’t want to get left behind”, because I don’t feel fulfilled by what I’m making and I feel trapped by it.
I guess that’s it. Maybe I’ll just take some time off to myself and make music when I want to on my own, so I can feel that sense of accomplishment when I make something I really like.
Whatever, if you’re here and reading still thanks for listening to me talk about how sad I am about art and friendships and growing up and growing apart.
I wrote a chorus a while ago that’s pretty simple but it kinda drives it all home for me, and you can hate it or say it’s dumb (I don’t think I’m a very good songwriter) but I’ll just put it at the bottom here
“Bummer
Get up for work every day
Bummer
Everyone goes, and nobody stays”
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potato-on-your-head · 2 years
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I was rambling in the tags about this and reached the 30 tag limit so apparently this demands to be its own post. this is not going to be eloquent whatsoever and will read like tags
Mathman and I are officially done. he FINALLY told me he’s dating someone so i Friendship Broke Up with him a couple days ago. and it sounded like he hoped he’d see me in person this week at our workplace’s giant back-to-work thing??? so I’m not sure if that means he wants to talk or just a chance to say goodbye or what. my guess is just a chance to chat and say bye. and then that’s it for me. I video called him (he lives 40 min away from me) and told him I’m ending our phone communication - maybe not forever but for the foreseeable future. and he was like, ‘well. that sucks’ which I thought was the perfect response - like!!! yeah it does suck!!! I wish I could stay your friend because I care about you but unfortunately I care too much!!! and I can’t make myself Not like you because feelings are dumb!!!
but anyway he strung me along all summer saying ‘yeah we can get together in August and hang out!’ which we usually do at his house, have drinks and sit out on the porch, play guitar together, him playing me singing, the whole deal. some of my favorite memories in recent years have been made on those nights. and then we’d talk late into the night and he’s so fucking smart and funny and driven and attractive and UGH. but I kept following up about it after I finished my grad classes end of July and he kept giving me these wishy-washy answers when I asked. ‘maybe the 17th or 18th’ ‘thursday possibly’ so FINALLY the literal DAY he kept saying ‘maybe’ we could hang out I was like. yo dude. I’m guessing we’re out of time to hang out this summer????? and then he was like oh sorry I thought I responded to your last text I’m dating someone and it’s probably not a good idea for us to hang out anymore....
LIKE!!!! DUDE!!!! jerk move! you don’t get my friendship anymore if that’s how you’re going to treat me! if you can’t have the hard conversations with me and you keep me hoping THIS LONG then this has to end. I was literally looking forward to this ALL SUMMER. like, this man is good at many things but being vulnerable is not one of them. my guess is he was putting off discussing it with the person he’s dating, thus kept giving me wishy-washy answers, and then FINALLY at the last minute asked if she (I’m assuming they’re a she) was okay with it and obviously the answer was no. so then he FINALLY talked to me about it. or my persistence finally just made him tell the truth
GOD I’m just so pissed. and sad and grateful and hurt and glad I got the time I did. it sounds dumb but he changed me as a person. when we first started hanging out three years ago, I realized how many of my interests depression had stolen from me and had a bit of a freakout (he kept showing me all this music he was into and he was so passionate about things and all his hobbies and I was like. OH FUCK. I AM A BLANK SLATE. I HAVEN’T LISTENED TO NEW MUSIC IN 5 YEARS. I HAVE LOST SO MUCH) and through seeing what he was passionate about, and his life goals and his house projects and such, I started rediscovering my interests and finding new music and moving forward again in so many ways. I don’t think that would’ve happened nearly to the same extent if I hadn’t known him.
3 years ago on one of those hangouts I brought my ukulele to his house and borrowed my sister’s and taught him the basics, and he was better than me in like 15 minutes. he always said he wasn’t musical and he WAS. he learned a bunch of more complicated things on uke using youtube tutorials and then showed me the next time I came over, and I was like, holy shit I never even thought about doing that. then he got a guitar and started learning that, and from there our music hangouts grew. I was inspired by him learning and got a guitar of my own. I wouldn’t have had the bravery to finally start learning guitar for real, and I wouldn’t have known about certain music artists if not for him, and I wouldn’t have had this radical shifting of my musical identity away from classical and into the pop and rock realm if not for him. he! has changed!! my life!!!!! and I WISH I could be just friends but I can’t. I’ve had feelings for him since the 2nd day I knew him, four years ago, when he worked at my building and I was just starting this job, and I can’t get rid of them. and he doesn’t feel the same, and this is the logical end of that whole arc. 
so yeah. I’m really sad, and also proud, because *I* was the one who womanned up and had the conversation and I only anxiety puked once before I did so that’s a win in my book.
who can say if I’ve been changed for the better, but because I knew you, I have been changed for good, blah blah blah etc.
goodbye, my one-sided love. I’m done chasing you. I’m letting go.
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theresebelivett · 2 years
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mmmmmmmm depression foggy days where nothing in the world is interesting, including and especially the things i normally love and want to engage with, aaaaaaaarrreeeee shittyyyyy i wanna write or read or watch or engage but who caaaaaaaares everything is boooorringgggg, i don’t wanna read fic or nona or watch movies or listen to podcasts or music or talk to anyone nothing is interesting and everything is just a haze love it, love feeling like i’m boring too cause a person with no interests is boring and i don’t wanna do things and is this because i went on a once in a lifetime vacation two weeks ago and spent so much of it overwhelmed and bored and feel such guilt guilt guilt for it, who goes to alaska and looks at mountains and so much beauty and is BORED, a fucking useless piece of shit who wastes money and her loved one’s time that’s who, i have nightmares that my cousin best friend won’t invite me to her wedding cause i’m too boring and depressed and can’t hang and don’t even have the decency to fake being fun by drinking constantly anymore, and who would ever want to be around or with someone who, on a good day, only finds very specific things interesting and so deeply prefers comfort to excitement and snores like a chainsaw and is so particular about her days and her temperature and her routine but at the same time has spent two weeks trying to work up the energy to go on a fucking target run and hates cooking and sees a single dish in the sink and gets so exhausted it stays there for weeks, who wants that person who has time or energy for that person, i don’t!! i don’t wanna be around me most of the time so why would anyone else!!!!!! it’s great!!! i’m not afraid that everyone in my life is going to suddenly realize this and go ‘yeeesh why do i even bother, the bitch hates spending money on gifts for birthdays she forgets and only ever wants to do a couple specific things and runs out of social battery so fucking quickly and is a VIRGIN in her THIRTIES and isn’t even all that interested in changing that and goes days without texting back, she’d be so easy to drop she wouldn’t even fight it’ apparently i needed to list off all my insecurities and get them out and cry at my desk at work huh, i’m gonna read this to my therapist later don’t worry just JESUS this has been sitting inside of me and i could not figure out how to get it out, like i know ppl say you can talk to them about anything but then you have to reach out to them and spill all the shit you find SO embarrassing, like having insecurities is EMBARRASSING, i’ve been in therapy for years shouldn’t i be over this shit by now, it’s so stupid and embarrassing to feel this way and i’ve got ppl in my life who make it WORSE but they’re part of the package deal of my family which contains people who make me so much better so i don’t know what to do and i’m just. tired. and i know rationally how much of this isn’t actually true, i know it, but fuccckkk some days i just need to put out there the rot that sits in my head all the time that i feel so stupid for believing and have it acknowledged that this is EXHAUSTING. it’s untrue and insecurities and blah blah blah blah platitudes blah blah blah but i haVE DEPRESSION and sometiems i don’t want things fixed i just want someone to say ‘dude yeah that sucks, that sounds exhausting and liek you’re having a shit time sometimes’ and YES. 
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aizenat · 7 hours
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You know, I planned on sort of transitioning away from kpop anyway. After the fuckery that was le sserafims debut, I decided to not follow any other debuts. So anyone who debuted after them doesn’t exist to me anyway. And since a lot of the groups I did like are either disbanded/inactive (gidle sucks now and mamamoo are all mostly solo so I’ll just listen to them individually), I hadn’t really been listening to new kpop for the last year.
But this shit with le sserrafim, and especially watching these delusional idiots try to defend a singing group who literally can barely hold a fucking note if it’s not perfectly engineered in a studio (especially when this is the THIRD TIME in less than a year this has happened) has literally killed any interest in kpop I had. I kept thinking that maybe things would get better, but it’s obviously the kpop industry just can’t handle being on a world stage. Korean values clash too much with international fans, the industry had gone completely image based (don’t need to know how to sing so like you’re skinny and pretty/hot), and the talent isn’t there at all.
And the labels suck so much now. SME is apparently so chaotic and shitty internally that employees are leaving in drones, as are their artists; yg literally debuted baby monster way too early because the idiot doesn’t know how to manage more than one group at a time (barely; how little did he promote black pink when they were his literal bread and butter), and keeps artists in the dungeon so you’ll only get a release once every five years anyway, and JYP is more focused on debuting gimmicky groups that he has no intentions of actually promoting (twice and itzy should just disband soon at this rate. has nmixx or whatever disband yet? What about day 6 and wtf is going on with vcha? Just gave up on them already? Also, he’s apparently going to debut another girl group? Why when you mismanage to the ones you got?), so there’s no real hope of seeing improvement there. And this whole situation with Hybe and Min Hee-Jin is proving that after just getting big enough to compete with the big three, Hybe is all about profit and doesn’t care at all about music and art and making it good. So no hope there. You can try to stan groups from smaller companies but look at what happened with fifty fifty. And that was because they blew up; if a group from a smaller company actually manages to get big, will the company be able to handle it? That’s been an issue before.
And that’s the thing: all this shit doesn’t have anything to do with the music. No one cares about making good music . It’s all about using music to create influencers so they can use them to get brand deals. Music doesn’t matter, the dancing is so bad that ppl are praising para-para arm waving as “good dancing,” every song is over produced and messy sounding, no one can sing, artists don’t eat because god forbid they be a normal size and then kpop fans hate on them (but don’t hate on them for not being able to sing; fucking priorities man lol), and nothing about this shit is fun anymore. Kpop had officially lost the fucking plot.
And I’m so disillusioned that I literally don’t want to hear anything about kpop anymore. I don’t want to listen to it. I don’t want to hear any news. I’m literally just done with it.
I’m still gonna listen to Solar’s upcoming single and anything else the mamamoo girls drop but even then idk. I might make a playlist for older kpop songs so I can revisit when I’m feeling nostalgia, but I’m honestly completely over kpop. Kill it because it needs to be put down.
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blacklodgemusictx · 1 year
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Beautiful/Trivial
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Sweet, aching sadness.  Bitter, snarling anger.  Gentle piano notes being smashed to a frantic crescendo.  Screeching guitar.  Whispering.  Insidious.  
Jesse Daniel Edwards could curate the soundtrack to the chemically drenched sock hop I endeavor to conjure on my depression-mandated Ketamine trips.  
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My first impression of him was Little Steven (I only know about Little Steven because of Rattle and Hum, ‘’… a friend of ours, Little Steven, was putting together a record of artists against APAR-TIGHT” – preach, Brother Bono) meets Harry Connick Jr… crooning away as the apocalypse begins and the bombs start to fall. 
Quiet, gentle bombs, please.  Last November when I wandered into Salim Nourallah’s listening room – Galactic Headquarters— to see Jesse and Landon Pigg, I was hung over.  I don’t drink.  I get Ketamine infusions.  Better living through chemical intervention.  I overcome my fear of needles long enough to get some sunshine mainlined directly to my brain.   Turns down my self-hating, self -destructive monologue long enough I can function again… for awhile.  But I’m left dried out.  Aching.  Low lights, friends, music at Salim’s seemed like just what the doctor ordered. 
I have since journeyed down an Insta-YouTube rabbit hole for more information regarding what I saw that night.  Jesse seems to have a lot in common with Salim.  Each contains multitudes.  10 different kinds of rock star wrapped up in a quiet, unassuming, crazy-talented package.  “Little Steven” Jesse is just one face.  There appears to be Mellencamp(“Jack and Diane were such fine examples” he sings in “The Future Has Been Canceled”)/Springsteen  tattooed, mullet-rocker resplendent in wife beater (please, if there’s a more PC way to refer to those shirts now… I don’t know what it is) and jeans, a Hawaiian shirt and visor wearing “Jimmy Buffet” Jesse who – carried away by the moment -- throws himself on the ground and writhes with his guitar.  
In every single video I found of Jesse, Landon is there.  Buttoned up shirt.  Beating the hell out of tambourine, smiling like a (if there were such a thing) long haired Mormon missionary (I am a lapsed Mormon, I can say stuff like that.)   I don’t know these gents other than a few words exchanged at that first show and the occasional DM I will send Jesse’s way on Instagram, but I can only assume Jesse and Landon are best friends.  If you let me imagine it too much, I will make a Pixar, friends-til-the-end movie out of their perceived relationship.  Brothers together in the cause and service of ROCK.  It makes a nice mental picture.  I like it when people care for each other. 
The other half of Black Lodge, my other half, the light chevron pattern to my dark (aka “Doug”):  he doesn’t care.  He will listen to music and remove it from the maker.  He barely listens to the words.  His heart is guided by the pure musicality (this is how he appreciates Frank Zappa where I cannot get past the ridiculous words long enough to even get to what may or may not be brilliantly executed music.)  He doesn’t care if the artist is a good person or if the band members were getting along when they recorded such-and-such.  He appreciates the product. 
I need to know the product was arrived at through pure intentions.  I like it when you are a good person, I like the band mates are best friends, I like my performers having fun, experiencing joy.  That’s just me. 
I like it when your lyrics make me feel something.  Even if it’s sadness, anger, impotence. 
“I don’t wanna do it anymore/You can’t make me do it anymore/God, don’t make me do it anymore” 
Do what? Everything. 
Wake up.  Doom scroll.  Wonder.  Worry.   
“The more you care, the more they take.”   
Watch society collapse.  Hope you can scratch out a little life for yourself, a corner of happiness.  Keep that happiness safe from the onslaught of daily soul sucking reality.  A rose under glass from the Disney childhood all the Millennials are trying to hold on to, keep safe and untarnished.   
“I hate me, but I can’t change who I am.”  
My high school ring (class of 99) says “Life on the edge of time.”  The last analog generation with vague memories of being sent outside to play, riding bikes, passing notes instead of texting, failing a grade at school instead of getting shot to death there.  
We started life watching war on TV.  How is it reality where you can get bored with war and change the channel?  What is this? Where are my cartoons?  (“The holocaust is live on channel threeee”) As an elementary school class project, we wrote to Desert Storm soldiers.  Waco, 09/11… the revolutions have all been televised and we are soul-numb and bored.   
Every dream our parents took for granted is now out of our reach.  Education, a home to call your own.  Tell me how much hope *you* have managed to hold on to under these circumstances. We are racing to see if we finish ourselves off before the planet shakes us off like a bad cold. 
“Love is all you need/But love won’t stop bombs/or pull the nails out of your palms…”   This line stings like a sore spot in your mouth you can’t stop tonguing.  It hurts, but in a good way.  This line puts JDE on the opposite end of the spectrum from Salim Nourallah (my friend and the musician previous to Jesse to evoke such a visceral response in me musically) Salim Nourallah whose music is hope[…”ful melancholy,” a line I didn’t pen, but I keep returning to in regards to Salim’s music as it is, for the most part, a perfect description of why his songs appeal to me so much.] 
Salim is hope.  Jesse is hope lost.   As a 42-year-old (elder millennial) major depressive, I am both of these things.  Bitterly attractive dichotomy.  Salim’s music is the feeling I aspire to when the chemicals are still working.    Jesse’s music is the chemicals wearing off, realization, dull horror.  Reality. 
What did Cervantes say?  “Too much sanity may be madness, and maddest of all – to see life as it is and not as it should be.”  I like a little of both. 
I feel like Jesse does too and Landon’s presence at his side feels like confirmation of that. 
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Landon is a beautiful musician in his own right.  Sweet, wistful.  A touch of Eliot Smith.  A little Iron and Wine.  Master of what everyone aspires to:  the elusive EAR WORM.  Listen to ‘Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop.’  You know that song.  I promise you.  I know that song.  I was able to mouth all the words as he began singing it… the infuriating thing is: I don’t know HOW I know it.  I played it later for my mother.  She knows it too.  She does not know HOW she knows it either!  Google says it was probably either an AT&T commercial or an episode of Grey’s Anatomy.  Both of which I’m sure I’ve been exposed to… but not in enough quantities to know all the words.  I remain… befuddled.  
Landon was also in Whip It – that earlier 2000s movie I was briefly obsessed with, decided I would learn roller derby even though I could NOT skate to save my life.  This brief obsession led me to my first broken bone at the auspicious age of at least 30: my tail bone.  I broke my tailbone for this movie.  I’m an idiot… but it’s a good movie. 
I forgot to rewatch it before I saw the performance.  Went back and watched it later:  yep.  There he is.  Right there.  Pretty big part too. Huh.  Good going, sir. 
At first, I was nervous I would wax poetic about Jesse for pages and then go, “Landon sings pretty.  He’ll be there too.” But then I relearned what I found out months ago:  Landon has, among other things, 406THOUSAND Spotify listeners (several times the population of the city I am currently sitting in while I write this) and Jesse has… 106.   
Something tells me Landon won’t mind that I was a little heavy handed in Jesse’s direction. 
(But yes, he’s lovely.  He has nice hair, sings like an angel and is witty to boot.  The “champagne lady with the pickle-back” sends her regards.) 
All of this to say, the boys will be back at Galactic (Dallas) this Friday and Austin on Saturday.  Links to follow. 
Don’t miss this.  I designed stickers for both performers… come get some.  You’ll love them, I promise.  There’s no place like Galactic (Austin is good too, don’t get me wrong, but Galactic has Salim and all my friends, I’m biased.) 
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clefairymuke · 2 years
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roommate levi who constantly has to listen to your whimpers and moans when you touch yourself and one day he’s had enough he’s about to knock on your door and tell you that you’re not as quiet as you think until he hears his own name slip through your whines 👀 feel free to throw daddy in there too because what’s a good smut without a little daddy kink ✨
anything for you🥰
no but seriously i loved writing this. i’ve been having so much fun with these smut requests <3 nsfw under the cut!
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thin walls > one shot
PAIRING: levi x reader
WARNINGS: masturbation (f. bodied), vibrator use, lowkey dubcon?, fingering (f. recieving), light impact play, vag. sex, degradation, name calling, dom!levi, brat tamer!levi, a little breath play, a little finger sucking, manhandling, daddy kink, unprotected sex
WORD COUNT: 1.7K
↣ roommate!levi catches you moaning his name when he comes to make you quiet down.
requests | masterlist | personal blog
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Levi fucking hates you.
He loathes the loud, shitty music you play at night. Despises the childish movies you put on in the den in the evenings. Can’t stand the disgusting tea you make in the mornings. And he hates, hates, hates how stiff it makes his cock when he can hear the buzz of your vibrator and the sweet, shameless moans sounding from your throat in the afternoons.
Today, for example — he’s sitting in the chair in his bedroom, trying his absolute hardest to get through one of his favorite novels, and Levi can’t find a peaceful moment because of you. Like always, he tries to ignore it at first, but the walls in your shared apartment are wildly thin. He can hear it so clearly, he’s confident he’s memorized your routine.
The door of your bedroom clicks softly shut, but he never hears it lock. A few seconds pass — you’re undressing, if he had to guess — and a drawer slides open. It’s close, which means it has to be your nightstand rather than your dresser. Next, a bout of shuffling and your TV popping on, turned to what sounds like a cooking channel. But you aren’t watching that — you just think it covers up the noise. It doesn’t; Levi always hears your vibrator click on the lowest setting right after that.
This is when he starts picturing you in your bed, clothes stripped off and legs spread wide while you toy with your clit in gentle circles. When his underwear begins feeling uncomfortably tight and his hand starts trailing instinctively over the bulge in his jeans. When he jerks it away out of mortification and gets fucking pissed.
Most days, he’d retreat to a further room in the apartment, or go on a walk for the half hour it usually takes. This time, Levi is beyond sick of your shit. Intending to give you an earful, he stomps out of his room and to your door, more than ready to make you cry from the embarrassment just to ensure it doesn’t happen again — but that’s when he hears it.
“Fuck, Levi,” you whimper, too quiet to be heard from his bedroom next door. It’s well within earshot now — your voice is desperate and whiny like always, but this time, he finds that he rather enjoys hearing his name in that tone. Standing in place, hovering shakily over the handle, he hears the buzz get louder as you click the setting up another notch. “Just like that, daddy.” And suddenly, he’s not in control of his body anymore.
The knob twists in his grip as he opens the door a crack, and he feels like he’s entered the gates of heaven. Your head is thrown back, one hand tweaking a nipple on your perfect breasts and the other pressing the pink, silicone bullet to your swollen, dripping cunt. Your legs are splayed out wide, just how he’d imagined them, knees bent and your back propped on a yellow-cased pillow. Eyes squeezed shut, you don’t notice as Levi slips in the door, leaving it open behind him as he approaches your shaking body.
He might look like he isn’t afraid of anything, but this is admittedly a risky move. That’s why he doesn’t look at your face as he replaces your grip on the toy with his own and attaches his mouth around one of your stiff, sensitive peaks. You tense for a moment as he shifts his weight onto the bed, and he’s bracing himself to pull off of you and move somewhere far, far away — but you relax just as soon. One of your hands tangles in the hair on the back of his head as you let out a loud, pretty moan. A bit of confidence leaking through him, he brushes his teeth over the hard nub and gropes your breast with his free hand.
“You like that?” Levi murmurs, moving to nibble at your earlobe while he presses the vibrator more firmly against your clit. He feels for the button on the bullet with his thumb before clicking it, kicking the speed up another level and listening as you whine underneath him. “So you wanted me to hear you all this time? Or were you just fucking stupid enough to think I couldn’t?”
He groans when your lips creep up his throat, placing chaste kisses along his Adam’s apple and finally settling just beneath his jaw. He wants you. Your innocent giggle sends vibrations through the thin, sensitive skin beneath his ear as you think about the question. “Just too stupid,” you answer sweetly, teeth flashing into a pretty smile. “I’m not disappointed, though— Shit, that’s good.”
You break off as Levi plunges his middle finger into your tight, needy cunt, thrusting it gently back and forth while you mewl quietly in response to his touch. He adds another, feeling the unforgiving elastic of your hole start to stretch just a bit — the squeeze around his digits alone has the tip of his engorged length leaking with pre-cum, staining through the zipper of his jeans. He lets out a satisfied little hum before speaking again. “I can make you feel better,” he whispers in your ear, feeling the static between your bodies as you shiver with need, eyes starting to roll back from the constant, overwhelming vibrations against your clit.
Wet, hungry kisses sweep down your neck as soon as Levi finishes his promise, and you feel another of his long digits prod through your entrance; your walls clench around them as he pumps into you, picking up the pace when your hips start to buck into his hand. “I doubt it,” you tease, admittedly trying to pry out his typical arrogant attitude. He chuckles darkly, teeth pricking into the dip that separates your neck from your shoulder.
The vibrator clatters to the floor, his thumb taking its place to rub hard, fast circles on your already swollen clit and while he fucks his fingers into you rapidly — a loud moan rips through your chest, stinging your throat as it passes through, but it hardly reaches the room around you as his hand clamps over mouth. A few stray, muffled sounds leak out, but he solves it quickly by pinching your nose between his thumb and forefinger, making your head swell with pressure. “If you wanted it rough you could’ve just asked. Don’t be a fucking brat.”
You gasp for air as his hand pulls off of you, shifting to set his thumb on your panting tongue. The knot in your stomach is beginning to coil more tightly than you can handle, making your cunt clench rhythmically around his digits as they twist to find your spot. There. A whine threatens the threshold behind your tongue, but Levi shoves his finger to the very back, clamping your mouth shut and making you suck it. “Shut the fuck up. I can’t ever get a moment of peace in this house, do you know that? I can’t stand you.” He digs against your spot, your climax threatening at any second. You think that he has to know as your eyes blow wide and the muffled sounds around his thumb grow louder that you’re about to cum, but he doesn’t show any signs of giving you mercy.
Levi pinches your nose between two fingers again, making your whole body shake as the coil tenses completely and your orgasm rushes against the gates. Another gasp when he lets loose, and you’re putty in his hands. Your limbs splay out wide as your cunt convulses around him, legs shaking wildly, bringing an arrogant grin to his face as he watches your eyes roll back to show the whites. “What a little slut,” he purrs as you come to, snaking his tongue along the angle of your jaw. “Tell me what you call me when you’re touching yourself like this. Wanna hear you say it.”
Your cheeks start to turn red, but the still-harsh thrust of his fingers in your cunt makes you shameless. “Daddy,” you answer, feeling a raspy groan vibrate against your skin in response.
The next few moments are a blur as Levi maneuvers your body where he wants it — he isn’t gentle by any means as his nails dig in your supple thighs and he flips you to your stomach, pulling your hands behind you and holding them taut against the small of your back. Pushing down until your back is arched, he begins to line himself up at your entrance, the head of his engorged cock prodding against the slick opening and drawing a gasp from your mouth.
He rubs one of your ass cheeks under his palm in a large, smooth circle before landing a light pop in the center. You moan in response, pressing your hips back against his length as the sting travels across your sensitive skin. “I thought you’d like that. Dirty girl,” Levi taunts, sweeping his thumb along the curve of your ass before smacking his hand against it, much harder this time as it sounds a deafening pop through the room. You feel your toes curl.
The tip of his thick cock presses past the threshold, and you feel your walls stretch to mold around his width as he sheathes himself into your pulsing cunt. A whine leaks out of your throat as he forces his length to the hilt, close to kissing your cervix as the warm, wet chasm swallows him whole. “Holy shit,” you whimper, feeling your pussy clench and throb around Levi’s impressive girth — every infinitesimal twitch of his dick sends an electric shock to your deepest spot, making you run from him instinctively — but his firm hold on your wrists keeps you well in place.
“Is this what you were driving me fucking insane for? How does it feel, huh? You’re screaming like a bad fucking pornstar.” He starts to thrust back and forth, the pull of his skin against your spongy walls sending waves of torturous pleasure through your whole body.
“Fuck,” you moan, rocking your hips back against him as he gropes your ass cheeks with his rough, calloused hands. “I love it. ‘S so big, daddy.”
You hear Levi chuckle behind you, adjusting the angle of his thrusts as he pulls out to the tip again and tightens his iron grip on your wrists. “Why don’t we see how loud you can really get?”
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kyovtani · 3 years
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𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 – 𝐤𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢 𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮 (𝟐)
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— pairing: Kyoutani Kentarou x female Reader
— genre: smut, angst, little bit of fluff to keep the balance; tattoo artist!kyoutani, inexperienced!reader, strangers to lovers!AU, SLOW BURN
— word count: 9.6k
— warnings: swearing, mentions of infidelity and violence, as well as the consumption of drugs and alcohol; smut: corruption kink, degradation and dumbification, dacryphilia, praising, spitting, (soft) dom!kyou, oral (m. receiving), fingering, dry humping, unprotected sex (dont do that kids), impreg kink, iwaoi say hi-
— (A/N: and here’s part two! thank you SO much for all the love you sent my way after i published the first part. ngl i was a little nervous bc i thought it was boring and not interesting at all but you guys easily pushed me out of that hole so thank you for everything. i love and appreciate you with my whole heart. all the love, zade xx)
[ part one ]
— summary: after fucking up, you make it your mission to get him back..(im so bad at this pls just- okay.)
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"He's not picking up, Hana", you say, another soft cry falling from your lips before you bury your face in your pillow.
“Once in my fucking life a guy treats me good and the way I've always wanted to be treated and I had to fuck it up. Why the fuck am I like this, Hana? Why can I not enjoy one fucking good thing in my fucking mediocre life", the profanities keep coming just like the tears and the amount of frustration and anger rushing through your veins is nowhere near normal anymore.
"Calm down, love", Hana sighs and makes you sit up so she can look into your tear stained face as she tries her best to make sure her words actually find their way to your pain clouded mind, "at this point you shouldn't worry too much because you do know Kyoutani, don't you? He does lose his temper a lot, so give him the time he needs and then you'll show up at his doorstep, suck his cock and make up with him, yeah?", she explains calmly.
"If this hurts you so much, why the fuck did you even say he's just a friend, Y/N? I really don't understand", Hana mumbles and lets out another sigh, her hands caressing yours softly, managing to calm you down a little bit.
“You're right, I should just– give him some time and things will eventually fall into place", you reply after crying a little more and with an encouraging smile your best friend nods at you before she suggests a movie marathon to which you happily agree.
At least something to distract you from all the demons inside your head.
After changing into your pj's and doing your night time routine, you plop down onto the couch next to your bestie again, her eyes focused on the phone in her hand and knowing she's probably either sexting or inviting her new boyfriend has you shrugging at her lack of attention as you start looking for a good movie to begin the night with.
However, just when you're about to read the description of some kind of french rom-com, Hana puts her phone back into her lap and starts staring at you with her pretty eyes widened in shock.
"What's wrong?", you ask and turn to look at her, reaching for her hands but before you even get the chance to touch her, Hana unlocks her phone and holds it up for you to watch someone's instagram story.
The video begins with loud music, a crowd full of young college students whose faces definitely are familiar.
Everyone in the video is dancing, making out, smoking and just chatting in a random living room and every now and then there's someone yelling in the back – a typical college party.
However, just as the video is about to end, the camera shifts to a tall male leaning against the wall, obviously standing really close to the person who's filming and it takes you a full blown thirty seconds to realize who said male is.
Kyoutani Kentarou.
You stare at the phone for another minute, your throat dry and your head empty as a thick veil of tears slowly starts blurring your sight before you finally decide to pay attention to the username.
"He can't be fucking serious", you hiss, fisting the blanket beneath you, the urge to punch something or someone becoming unbearable, "what the fuck is he doing at a random college party with – Sora?"
"Y/N, don't–", "Whose party is that?", you interrupt your best friend, not giving a single fuck about her attempts to calm you down; not anymore. Hana gulps harshly and strictly avoids your gaze as she mumbles a name and you roll your eyes, asking her to speak up with an annoyed sigh.
"It's one of Yuuji’s frat parties", and as soon as your best friend says the name of your ex-boyfriend, a cold shiver of disgust runs down your spine and you can feel yourself getting lightheaded from all the emotions rushing through your overwhelmed body.
"Don't follow me if you're going to stop me from leaving, Hana", you say and stand up before quickly disappearing inside your room.
You have no idea how you manage to get dressed, your outfit consisting of a pair of jeans and a hoodie you can't even remember buying and you don't even wanna think about what your hair and face look like when you end up leaving the house with your keys and your phone.
After driving this route for over two years on an almost daily basis, it takes you less than ten minutes to arrive in front of the huge house your ex-boyfriend lives in.
The memories start finding their way back into your head way too fast, taking away your breath and numbing your whole body because even if you didn’t love Yuuji anymore, the bitter feeling of betrayal still manages to hit you in just the right way.
It takes you a lot of willpower to actually approach the house and eventually get in. And after being in between the crowds of drunk, stinky college students, you remember why you hate college parties so much.
"I – Wow”, a familiar voice manages to break through the loud music, your instant reaction just an annoyed eye roll, “you were the last person I expected to see at one of our frat parties", Yuuji says and comes to stand in front of you.
His blonde hair messily falling into his handsome face and from the way his whole face seems to be covered in the deepest shade of red – including his eyes – you know that he's probably higher than the stars and you can't help but sigh.
"I'm not here to party, Yuuji", you hiss, feeling the anger crawl up your spine again the longer you look at your ex, "my boyfriend is here and I have to talk to him."
"So you and that tattooed guy are actually a thing? Didn't think so since he, you know – showed up with another girl", Terushima mumbles and pulls out a cigarette from his pocket, a mischievous smile on his lips.
"Oh, shut the fuck up, Yuuji", you spit back and roll your eyes, taking in the way the pretty boy arches his brows up in pure shock at your rather new attitude, "go and get high or whatever you do to feel proud of yourself", are the last words you say to him before you walk away, your heart thrumming inside your throat.
Your eyes roam the huge crowd, desperately searching for the only face you wanna look at right now and you try to remember where they were standing in the video Sora had posted only to realize that you can't remember.
After all you only watched the video once, your whole attention laying on Kyoutani. And after almost fifteen minutes, you find yourself slowly giving up.
Maybe this was just not meant to happen or maybe Kyoutani has left already.
He probably left with Sora- something you can’t and won’t ever blame him for.
After all she's literally one of the prettiest and hottest girls you have ever seen – anyone who rejects her would be out of their mind (or not attracted to girls which isn't the case when it comes to Kyoutani).
You give it another ten minutes of desperately looking around before you let out a deep sigh which gets lost in the loudness and thick air of the party before you finally start making your way back to the front door.
You quickly walk back to your car, trying your best to ignore everyone around you, especially all the drunk guys who are currently about to get into a verbal fight over something totally random and the last thing you want to experience those threats becoming reality.
At some point you're scared they might even include you which is probably why you end up literally sprinting and even though you always park so far away from frat houses just because you've heard way too many stories of people getting their cars stolen during parties, but right now you just wished you would have listened to your gut feeling and parked in front of the fraternity like every normal person.
However, to your life long luck, you spot a tall figure standing a little too close to your vehicle just as you’re about to unlock it. You slow down your movements almost instantly upon seeing the stranger, yet your eyes still try to figure out if it's someone you know despite the darkness surrounding the two of you.
He has probably spotted you by now, after all you're still panting like crazy from speed walking down to where your car is and it takes you a full minute to realize how loud you're actually being.
"Y/N", the male suddenly says, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine and even though it could have been everyone, it sounds a tad bit too familiar to your ears which is probably why you end up approaching him slowly.
"It's me, Kyoutani", he adds and at the same moment the words leave his lips, you finally recognize his pretty features which seem extra beautiful underneath the bright moonlight.
And then realization hits you.
"How did you know–", "Hana called me and asked if I could make sure you got home even if I didn't want to talk to you. So, here I am. Get in the car so I can tell her I did my part of the job", he interrupts you quickly, obviously not having the intention to interact with you and the way his usually so tender-filled eyes and calming voice are nothing but ice-cold has a thick veil of tears blurring your sight.
Never ever did you think about the moment, where Kyoutani puts the cold mask on he loved to hide behind when he had first looked at you all those weeks ago.
And the longer he avoids your gaze, the heavier the burden on your chest becomes.
"I'm sorry, Tani", you whisper, your voice breaking at the end, easily giving away how much his cold demeanor has gotten to you.
“Of course you're not just a friend to me and I d-don't know why I introduced you like that, everything happened so quickly and I – panicked. It's not an excuse and does not justify my behavior but I just wanted you to know that you've always been more than just a friend to me", you continue, managing to keep talking upon realizing that Kyoutani won't interrupt you and the way he even listens to you with his eyes looking everywhere but yours is absolutely enough for you.
"What am I to you then, Y/N? Am I the guy you're casually fucking? Your booty call? Am I your second choice? Like what the fuck do you expect me to say? I know we never put a label to – this", he starts pointing at you and then himself, "but you knew I was serious about it, about you. So, I just don't understand why you would even think about considering me a friend. I told you that I am not one for that friends with benefits kinda shit and you agreed yet you did this and now I can't help but be convinced you just used me to get that Yuuji fucker.”
Kyoutani is angry and he doesn't even try to hide it as he spits out those words, the ones he’s probably been dying to say out loud for the past few days and you know he has every right to actually be mad at you, his words still hit you in a way you didn't expect them to.
"I'd never do that to you, Kentarou; I'd never use you like that, please believe me", you say quickly, a little surprised you're even able to form proper sentences.
“You m-mean so much to me and I just don't know how to put it into words. My heart hurt so much when I watched you type your number into Sora's phone but the demons in my head, they just kept talking over my heart and – I'm just really sorry, Kyou, I really am", you sigh and after realizing that he's not going to look at you, you finally manage to shift your gaze away from his pretty face.
"Go home, Y/N. It's been a long day for both of us and I think some more distance will help me get my mind straight", Kyoutani replies after a long, torturous beat of silence lingering in the cold air and even if it wasn’t the reply you had hoped to hear, you're glad he's at least not completely ending it.
"Okay b-but at least let me drive you home?", you ask softly, wiping away the few tears which had managed to escape and when you look up at the beautiful faced male in front of you, his eyes meet you for the first time since what feels like forever and you feel yourself melting away.
"I don't think that's a good idea, pretty girl", Kyoutani sighs, the soft pet name sending your mind into the sweetest haze of comfort just like that, "it's only been a few days but I am craving your touch and I just know I'm going to lose it and fuck you against the next best surface if we get into that car together, so I have to decline this offer", he adds and takes another step back, his lips stretching into a tiny smile and you can’t deny how much his words have you gotten you worked up, but you have no choice but to nod.
"Have a good night, baby", Kyoutani sighs and deep down you're hoping for a kiss, after all it's been way too long since you got to feel close to him but instead, he just lifts his hand up and starts waving at you and just as he is about to turn around, you find yourself reaching for his wrist. The fear and despair inside of you making you a little too brave for your personal liking but you know you can't just let him walk away like that.
"Please, Tani- Kyoutani", you whisper and let out a soft sigh of relief when he turns around to face you again, "I won't try anything, I just want to spend a little bit more time with you."
Kyoutani takes a deep breath, his dark eyes roaming your face and wandering down your body and even though it feels like he's literally devouring you alive, you enjoy his burning gazes regardless, a hidden part inside of you even craving them.
A solid minute passes by before he lets out a sigh and gives you a nod, his plump lips pressed into a thin line.
It takes you another deep breath and a couple of seconds to actually calm yourself down from the rollercoaster of emotions you've been through within the time span of an hour and as you sit there in your car, inhaling the cold air of the night, your mind starts replaying everything that went down, starting from the day you met Kyoutani, to your first and most recent kiss, as well as the encounter with Sora and your deep anger towards Yuuji.
The drive to Kyoutani's apartment passes by in a blur, way too fast for your liking and you can't help but pout when you pull up in front of the huge building, knowing very well that this will be the last interaction with the handsome tattoo artist for the upcoming few days and you can already feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.
He's been awfully quiet, not like you actually said anything but Kyoutani's silence was intense, boring into your soul and actually suffocating you to a point where the urge to just jump out of the car became overwhelming.
You know he's probably going through everything just like you, yet the feeling that his thoughts are more on the negative side just won't leave you alone and you hate the way your assumptions are being confirmed as soon as Kyoutani turns to look at you.
"I – love you, Y/N", he suddenly says, his voice soft and calm, yet still deep and the way it's filled with tenderness and the sweetest bit of longing makes the effect of those magical words even heavier.
Your lips part in shock, your head having a difficult time actually processing his confession and you can feel your whole body going into a standby mode.
"But you're not good for me."
You remember the way your heart broke into thousands of pieces when you found out the alleged love of your life was cheating on you without even batting an eye.
The pain was so intense and heavy, you didn't know how to deal with it and at some point you were convinced that your heart had stopped beating for a solid minute. It was bad, left you speechless and threw you into a hole of darkness you barely managed to escape from, yet still leaving you grateful for the experience.
You thought your first heartbreak would be able to prepare you for what's to come in the future, but what you went through as soon as those words had fallen past Kyoutani’s lips, can't be compared to anything you've ever felt before.
Your heart starts clenching as his words keep replaying inside of your head and your throat so is going absolutely dry from your desperate attempts to gasp for air as the feeling of being suffocated comes back.
Everything around you seems to disappear, your eyes still focused on Kyoutani's intense gaze as the feeling of emptiness starts filling up your whole body.
You easily lose track of time, your heart beat so slow and heavy and when the wave of reality crashes you yet again, an almost inaudible sob falls past your lips.
"B-But...", you can't get yourself to speak, the words getting stuck in your throat and soft cries the only thing filling the inside of your car.
And yet, there are so many things you want to tell him, so many things rushing through your mind at the highest speed, almost impossible to grasp them and actually put them into proper sentences.
"You have too much control over me. I lost myself trying to fit into the picture of a lover you need and deserve. But – I am not who I used to be anymore”, Kyoutani explains, nervously rubbing the sides of his pierced node with his thumb as he avoids looking in your direction at all costs.
“I am scared of losing what's obviously not mine. You make me feel weak and vulnerable and I just can't deal with it. You've become the center of my world, and I can't control how much it affects me. How much you affect me and – I hate it", he continued, his voice is still incredibly calm, yet a bittersweet tone of fear coating every single one of his words.
"B-But...", yet again, the whole of your vocabulary seems vanished, not one word to say as the knot in your throat tightens even further.
"I'm sorry, Y/N. I thought I could do it but – I am not meant to love and you deserve to be loved in the most special way possible”, he takes another quick break, letting out a sigh of exhaustion, “and that's why I'm letting you go. Please, don't hate me. Take care and – goodbye, my love.”
Those are his last words before he presses his lips against your forehead, making your head spin like crazy because of the contrast of his heartbreaking words and his soft kiss.
Kyoutani leaves without saying another word. He doesn't even look back once as he walks away and enters the apartment building, while you can't stop staring at the door with hot tears streaming down your cheeks and loud sobs filling the suffocating air surrounding you.
There you are, yet again.
Your eyes staring into the dark night as your body tries to cope with the intensity of pain you've thought you had overcome.
The constant breaking of your heart starts numbing every part of your body and you slowly start losing yourself in this certain kind of darkness.
Seconds turn into minutes and without even realizing, a whole hour has gone by with you staring into nothing.
Your mind plays games with you as it keeps replaying his words, his behavior, his kiss and the feeling of slowly but certainly going insane as you get out of the car a little too fast.
You tumble back, the sudden coldness hitting you right in the face and the mental as well as physical exhaustion has your body trembling.
And then it hits you.
The wave of anger, wrath, frustration and hatred literally wakes you up, pulls you back into reality and ends up taking over you completely.
Your eyes find the huge apartment building Kyoutani lives in, staring at it as if you could set it on fire and you know what you're about to do is a bad idea but your body acts before your mind can even get the chance to intervene.
And that's how you find yourself almost brutality slamming your fist against Kyoutani's door, your heart hammering against your rib cage way too fast for it to be still physically healthy and ten thousand different thoughts rushing through your chaotic mind.
"What the fuck is going – Y/N", Kyoutani looks at you with his pretty eyes slightly widened in shock, his lips parting as he struggles to keep his eyes on you and a disgusting feeling of shame and embarrassment starts filling you up.
You know this is pathetic, you are aware of how stupid you look standing in front of him like this but you just can't get yourself to actually care about it.
"Y/N, please don't-", "No, I listened to what you had to say and now I'm going to talk and you're going to listen to me. Before that I am not going anywhere because I deserve this", you cut him off, hands balled into fists as you try to stay calm but the more you think about his words in the car, the angrier you get.
"I–", Kyoutani sighs, his eyes nervously roaming your face and upon noticing the way you seem to shiver from the cold and your lack of clothing, he lets his conscience get the best of him, "alright, come in then.”
You follow him inside, the familiar scent of vanilla and Kyoutani's favorite febreeze scent filling your nose and you hate the way how comfortable you are.
After all you've been spending quite some time in this apartment; visiting him after your classes so he could bury his face between your legs and then offer you some homemade food, followed by a good old ghibli movie and lots of cuddles has become some kind of routine.
Oh, how you hate him for ruining all of those memories.
"Do you want something to drink? You're probably freezing", he offers, his voice filled with concern and you know he is right and you'd definitely give everything for a cup of tea and maybe some water, you still shove all of your body’s basic needs into the very back of your head and try to regain your composure.
"I – you – we", you take a deep breath, your mind struggling to put all of those racing thoughts into some kind of order, yet failing miserably.
But there's so much you want to say to him; so many things you want him to hear and now that you are actually standing in front of him, your body betrays you.
"You're a fucking coward, Kyoutani Kentarou", is the first thing you finally manage to let out, "and I hate you for leaving me like this. I fucking hate you.”
Deep down, you hate yourself for saying those words; the choice of words and the incredible heaviness they come with are usually not your way of expressing yourself yet you're not regretting them.
You don't know how this night is going to end, maybe this will be the last time you get to see Kyoutani or he'll eventually fuck you into oblivion and you finally end up together; but nevertheless you want your words to hurt him; you want them to wake him up just like his did to you.
"How dare you confess your love to me and tell me I basically ruined your life in the same breath when you're the one who's fucking all of this – us up. Yes, I’ve made a mistake and I've been regretting my choice of words for the past four days, even came to the point where I accepted your distance and decided to let go because I know how much my words hurt you. But us ending like this? Definitely not going to happen", Kyoutani stares at you with his pretty eyes focusing you attentively, barely blinking, not moving at all; he’s just listening to you.
"I just – don't understand how you can be this oblivious."
"Oblivious? Oblivious to what?", he asks, his voice a little deeper and raspier, sending goosebumps straight dow your spine as if your body needed to remind you the effect he has on you.
"Oblivious to everything. This is what love does to people, Kentarou. Of course you're going to feel weak and vulnerable because of me - because of the one you love. After all the point of being loved and loving someone else is showing those vulnerabilities and weakness to the person you trust the most because you know, or at least you hope, they won't take advantage of it.”
You take a deep breath, your mind slowing down as you ease yourself into his calming embrace and subconsciously losing yourself in the comfort it comes with.
“I'm yours. I've been yours since the very first day and we both know this, that's why you are so scared of losing me. And that's why my words hurt you so much”, you can tell that he’s already processing your words as much as he can; his habit of scratching the back of his head giving him away easily.
"You said you've lost yourself trying to fit into this picture of someone who I deserve but – you are the one who created that picture in the first place. Just because my first boyfriend was an alleged goody two shoes doesn't mean that you have to be like that too. Fuck that", you hiss, the thought of Kyoutani changing even the slightest bit about himself sending jolts of anger through your veins, "I don't care if you dropped out of college or that you have tattoos and piercings and bleach blonde hair. None of that matters to me because it's you, your kind heart and your pure soul I fell in love with.”
And suddenly - you can feel the burden on your shoulders disappear when those certain words leave your lips and the second Kyoutani raises his eyebrows in slight surprise before he locks eyes with you again has another breath of fresh air run through your suffocated lungs.
"Yes, I'm in love with you, Kyoutani Kentarou. Believe it or not, but for me, you're perfect just like this, with all your tiny habits and every single tattoo. There's nothing I'd change about you and I'm genuinely, truly sorry if I ever made you feel like you needed to change for me. You're a great guy and I guess that's why I ran back here after sitting in that car, crying for an hour because I couldn't stop thinking about the way you confessed your love to me”, you feel the thick veil of tears appear before they manage to block your sight, making the pretty face in front of you turn into bourry little pixels as your emotions overwhelm you.
“And yes, you are meant to be loved; maybe not meant to be loved by me but you deserve to be loved, do you hear me?"
You go up to him, closing some of the distance between the two of you before your finger darts out and poke his strong chest, trying to ease the tension after letting go of all those thoughts, "you deserve to love and to be loved because you're a good person. And I just – wanted to thank you for letting me into your life. Meeting you, getting to know the beautiful person you are has been one of the best things that has happened to me and I will cherish these memories forever."
And with those words you take a deep breath, let out another sigh, goving away your acceptance of defeat before you lift your head and prepare yourself to say your last goodbye no matter how painful it is.
"Take care, Kyoutani Kentarou and thank you, for everything", the words fall past your lips in the form of a whisper solely because you're too scared to break if you raised your volume just slightly.
You turn around and feel the first tear find its way down your cheek before you even get to walk away.
And just as you wrap your fingers around the doorknob, the sound of rushed footsteps approaching you makes you halt your movements.
"D-Don't go", Kyoutani suddenly says, his voice breaking when he comes to stand behind you, so close you can actually feel the warmth he's radiating, "I need you...so bad", he whispers into your ear, pressing his forehead against the back of your neck and it's like everything that happened tonight becomes irrelevant.
You turn around, not expecting Kyoutani to push you against the door with his whole body, yet still embracing him as much as you can.
With a soft sob, you start inhaling his unique scent, grazing his soft skin with your fingers and letting the warmth blossom inside of your chest after feeling his rapid heartbeat beneath your palm.
"Don't leave me, please", he cries, the tears running down his flushed cheeks despite his desperate attempts of holding back, "let's do this whole love thing.”
You stand there for what feels like an eternity, just hugging each other, taking in each other's presence and calming down from everything that has happened in such a short time. You finally calm down completely, Kyoutani's soft touches and tiny kisses give you the last bit of energy you needed and for the first time in almost three months, there's not one demon in your head trying to make you overthink something.
Because this feels perfect; there's literally no other word to describe the feeling of holding Kyoutani Kentarou and being held by him.
But nevertheless, you've been on a constant adrenaline rush for the past four hours and the exhaustion has been killing you, making you grow tired a lot faster than usual.
"What about moving this to your room, hm? I'd rather fall asleep with you in your bed than against the door; especially because I know the boys are out and will be coming home soon", you say softly, lifting Kyoutani's head from the crook of your neck and looking at him.
He sighs and gives you a soft kiss, giving you a nod in response before he gets himself to let go of you; his warmth leaving with him and it's almost disgusting how you literally crave his presence.
After Kyoutani makes you drink two glasses of water to avoid the dehydration of your body, he hands you one of his thick hoodies and leaves you to get ready in his bathroom.
You come back to the sight of him sitting against the headboard of his king sized bed, his oversized shirt revealing the perfect amount of collarbones and you enjoy the sight of his pretty skin and the dark lines covering most of it as well as the way his sweats hug his strong thighs in the best way possible.
And as you watch his eyes lazily roam your body, a hot jolt of arousal finds its way through your veins and right to your cunt.
"Don't look at me like that, sweet girl", Kyoutani suddenly groans and cocks his head to the side, his tongue poking out to wet his lips before he gulps harshly; his eyes never once leaving yours.
"B-But Tani...", you reply, approaching him with tiny steps become you come to stand right next to his tall figure, feeling yourself growing needier because of the way your body is craving his touch now more than ever.
“Baby…”, he replies and gulps harshly, knowing your body better than yourself after weeks of getting to know you in a way nobody has ever before.
"Please, Tani...please, fuck me. I need to feel you inside of me. I've been waiting for so long...", you plead, your fingers coming to graze his pretty lips as memories of all the times he had turned you into a crying mess with those lips.
Kyoutani is just as affected by the change in tension as you, the slight bulge in his grey sweatpants as well as the hunger burning in his eyes giving him away.
"You're such a pretty angel girl, aren’t you?", he whispers and sits up, pulling you closer to make you stand in between his legs as he starts caressing your hot cheeks with his fingers.
“Yet you're saying all those naughty things”, Kentarou chuckles deeply, “imagine how people would react if they knew what a cockhungry little slut you actually are", upon hearing those degrading names, your cunt starts clenching around nothing and a high pitched whimper escaped your throat.
"For you...", you whisper, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth the second Kyoutani starts placing open mouthed kisses on your neck.
Your fingers dig into his shoulders, pulling the material of his shirt a little too tightly.
"Of course, baby, you're mine after all and this sweet cunt", the sudden feeling of his palm pressing against the damped fabric of your panties has you gasping for air, "belongs to me, and me only", Kyoutani grunts, pulling the skin of your neck between his lips before he starts sucking gently as well as slowly moving his fingers against the lacey fabric between your legs.
"Yes, it's yours", you reply, after several weeks of being intimate with Kyoutani you've learned one thing and that's how much he loves hearing you say all those dirty and lewd things, "please fuck me."
"Patience, my love, patience. I am going to fuck you", Kentarou replies calmly and suddenly pushes you away, his hands disappearing from your body and when your lid flutter open because of the lack of touch, he shoots you one of his cocky smirks, "but let's not forget the whole friend situation, hm? What about you make it up to me before I fuck you like the little whore you are?"
His words have excitement rush through your blood, your head literally spinning just from the thought of finally getting to be on the giving end after weeks of him playing the selfless lover.
You nod eagerly, anticipation sparkling in your eyes as you watch him palm himself over his sweats before you get on your knees and wait for him to let go of his now fully erect cock.
However, the more seconds pass by like this, the more nervous you become because for some reason you suddenly remember that you've basically never sucked dick before.
Your head shoots up with slight panic written all over your face and of course Kyoutani notices your change in demeanor right away.
"What's wrong, angel?", he asks you and stops the movements of his hands.
"I don't know how to do it, Tani", you whisper, knowing there's no point in being shy about it, after all he happens to be the guy you've experienced your most firsts with.
"It's okay, baby, I'm going to help you”, Kyoutani replies and actually loses his composure for a second, “fuck baby, don't look at me like this when I'm literally about to fuck your throat", he hisses, throwing his head back as he grunts and his hips desperately bucking into the air.
Kyoutani takes another deep breath before he finally pushes his hand underneath the waistband of his sweats and with your eyes focused on his movements, you watch him pull out his hard length, a soft hiss falling past his plump lips when the coldness of the room grazes the slightly wet tip of his cock.
You gulp harshly, his impressive size in girth as well as length has your pussy throbbing like crazy, yet you can't help but wonder how the hell he's going to fit inside of you.
“Don't worry, baby, I know you're going to take all of my cock like the good girl you are", Kyoutani says after observing your facial expressions for some time.
"Give me your hand", he asks you softly, his voice still raspy and incredibly hoarse yet still soothing and you appreciate his attempts to calm himself down so you won't feel too nervous. With your heart slamming against your rib cage, you lift your hand up and are slightly overwhelmed at the sudden feeling of Kyoutani's warm spit pooling inside your palm. Without adding anything, he straightens himself and motions you to stroke his hard cock.
Not once do you stop looking at him as you wrap your fingers around the base of his impressive length and slowly start jerking him off.
Kyoutani cocks his head to the side, his bottom lip pulled in between his teeth and his eyes constantly fluttering close.
"Start with the tip, angel- just wrap your lips around it and start sucking, but be careful with your teeth, yeah baby?", he grunts, his hips thrusting into your fist every time the pace of your strokes slows down.
You give him yet another nod before look up at him one more time and do as he says.
The feeling of his cock between your lips is – different.
It feels like it's not supposed to be there, yet the salty taste of his precum coating your tongue has you sighing softly. Your tongue darts out, giving his tip a tiny kitten lick before you go back to sucking on it eagerly.
And while you seem to enjoy it a lot, Kyoutani is going absolutely crazy. You can see the way he's tensing his body as his grip in the bed sheets tightens and the vein on his neck pops out.
"F-Fuck, baby, just like that", he praises you "now try to take more of it in a-and use your hand for the rest", Kyoutani's voice is shaky, his eyes are nervously roaming your swollen lips and the string of spit connecting them to the tip of his cock.
Without giving it another thought, you take a deep breath and take more of him, trying your best to not graze his sensitive cock with your teeth and despite your initial struggle, you still enjoy the feeling of his cock on your tongue.
You subconsciously wrap your fingers around the part of his cock which you can't fit inside your mouth and suddenly it's like your body knows exactly what to do.
Kyoutani's moans grow louder and the soft thrusts of his hips become a little less controlled. You look up at him every now and then, trying your best to keep the steady rhythm as you bop your head.
And then he suddenly thrusts his length all the way to the back of your throat, your gag reflex just about to go off when he pulls back which is the moment you take notice of the tears streaming down your cheeks.
You give him a soft smile before going back to wrapping your lips around his tip, but you don't get very far.
Kyoutani pulls you back, his grip on the back of your neck not firm enough to hurt you.
"I promise I'm going to fuck your throat properly and even cum in your mouth the next time we do this but right now I just can't stop thinking about that tight cunt of yours", he says, helping you get up and almost instantly pulling you onto his lap; his wet cock rubbing against your panty covered core as Kyoutani pulls you in for a kiss.
It's sloppy and rushed, the way his tongue grazes over yours before he pulls it between his lips and starts sucking at it. Your hips start moving against his cock, your sensitive pussy craving some kind of friction as the arousal has your head spinning like crazy.
You start moaning and whimpering into his mouth when Kyoutani’s hips start meeting your desperate movements, applying the perfect amount of pressure onto your needy clit.
You feel the knot in the pit of your stomach tightening, the clenching of your cunt becoming worse the more you hump Kyoutani's cock like a woman starved.
But nothing prepares you for the feeling of one of his large digits entering you. Your hole start clenching around his finger Kyoutani pushes another one in, both digits buried inside of your little cunt.
"Such a good girl for me, aren't you, baby? I'm going to finger you nice and slow so you're ready for my cock. Now come on, my love; show me what a good whore you are and ride my fingers", Kyoutani encourages you, his hot breath fanning against the sensitive skin behind your ear and without missing a beat, your hips meet the skillful thrusts of his fingers.
Kyoutani continues to whisper naughty things into your ear, his other hand eventually wrapping around your throat as he makes sure you look into his eyes when you stumble over the edge.
Your high hits you hard and fast, the intensity knocking the breath out of your lungs and leaving you gasping for it; something you should be used to by now yet still can't believe is even possible.
He pushes you off of his lap softly, helps you get rid of his shirt as well as your ruined panties before he makes you lay down in the middle of his bed; eyes locking with yours when he also starts undressing.
"My pretty girl", Kyoutani sighs, his hand caressing the soft skin of your thighs, spanking you every now and then just because he's absolutely obsessed with the way your whole body tenses whenever his hand meets your skin.
“Look at me", he orders and almost instantly your head shoots up to meet his gaze, the sight of his naked body distracting you a lot more than you expected but after all this is the first time you get to see the rest of his tattoos; the ones you usually only get a tiny glimpse of depending on his outfit choice.
Kyoutani spreads your legs apart, his eyes never leaving yours even when he starts jerking off again and you can't hold back the soft whimpers and begs leaving your lips.
But also something about his flushed cheeks and swollen lips as well as his messy hair falling into his face has you incredibly turned on.
"We've never talked about this before but are you on the pill, baby?", he asks, pushing one of his thumbs into his mouth before he brings it down to your clit and starts rubbing soft circles into it, making you arch your back off of the mattress as you bury your face in the pillow to keep your noises down.
"N-No", you whisper, a deep sigh coming from Kyoutani and even though you know you shouldn’t do it, you stop him from bending over to the drawer of his nightstand, making him look at you in confusion.
“But I still want you to raw me, please...", you add and gulp harshly when his whole body seems to go into some kind of haze once the words leaveyour lips.
Kyoutani looks at you, his eyes darkening even more as he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and lets out a loud moan of your name.
"I can't just raw you, baby", he presses through gritted teeth, his mask slowly falling apart the more you rub yourself against his cock, "you've never had sex without a condom and my pull out game is weak, even weaker when it comes to you because fuck – the thought of filling you up with my cum sounds so fucking good", Kyou groans when you scoot up a little, taking his length into your hand before you line him up with your entrance.
"B-But what if you get pregnant, sweet girl?", he sighs and tries to pull away, making you wrap your arms around his neck as you look into his pretty eyes.
"That will just show everyone around us how well you've fucked me", you whisper and elicit another deep moan from him, his whole body shaking slightly as he tries to hold himself back from just pounding into you.
"Such a cockhungry whore", he hisses and – finally – starts pushing his fat cock into your tiny cunt, the slight stretch making you both gasp for air.
“If that's what you want, then that’s what you get, you little slut. I'm going to fucking raw you and fill you up with all of my cum, make you my cumslut", Kyoutani grunts, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth before he harshly grabs your face and looks into your eyes as he buries more of himself inside of you.
"F-Fuck, you're big", you whimper, throwing your head back and trying your very best to stop clenching around his cock.
“We're almost there, baby- you got this, s-stop clenching", Kyoutani grunts against your parted lips. Without a warning, Kyoutani pushes the rest of his huge cock inside of you, bottoming out completely.
“F-Fuck...you’re so– tight”, Kentarou grunts, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, “it’s like you’ve never been fucked before.”
“S-So good...so fucking good, nngh-”, your little whimpers and whines are slurred, barely coherent as the feeling of being filled to the brim pushes you into a haze of pleasure.
You feel the pulsation of his cock against your spongy walls, his hands nervously roaming your body and groping one of your tits, as he obviously tries to calm himself down.
And then he finally starts moving.
A deep, guttural moan leaves the both of you when he pulls himself out of your tight hole, dragging his huge cock along the walls of your little cunt in the most delicious way possible before he almost brutally shoves himself back in again.
“Mhm, just like that, you little brat”, he grunts, sitting up on his knees as he pushes your legs further apart, his eyes focusing the way his fat cock stretches your hole just how he’s been imagining it all this time, “coming up to me and talking about having your little cunt rawed like some cumhungry little whore.”
You start nodding almost instantly at his words, your brain barely recognizing them, the only thing you can focus on being the way the tip of his cock grazes the entrance to your womb with every harsh, brutal thrust of his hips.
His thrusts find a steady rhythm, hard and so, so deep.
“Open your mouth”, Kyoutani grunts, a single drop of sweat finding its way down the center of his tattooed chest, the sight making you whimper and whine for him even louder as you part your lips as soon as you process his words.
“You know what? I’d rather have you say it”, he suddenly hisses, pulling his cock out of your spasming cunt before he presses your legs together and shoves himself back inside of you with one skilled thrust of his hips.
You have no idea at what point you start crying but by the time Kyoutani's moans and grunts start picking up their pace, you're a sobbing mess.
“S-Say wh-what?”, you sob, hiding your tear and spit stained face behind your hands, not daring to look up at him.
“I want you to ask for my spit and beg for my cum”, Kentarou’s voice grows raspier, the dominance seething through every single one of his words makes it so easy for you to fall even further into the hole of absolute submission, “and stop hiding yourself, angel girl..I wanna watch the way I’m fucking your brains out.”
A row of loud, high pitched whines and a combination of sobs and moans are the only thing you manage to respond with, your brain clouded with the feeling of his thick cock dragging along the spongy walls of your cunt.
And before you can even comprehend his next movement, you hear the loud sound of skin meeting skin followed by the delicious feeling of a sting sending jolts of pain through your body, something you’ve come to love after so many hours with the tattoo artist.
“I told you to ask and beg for it, angel girl..you’re making me wait”, Kentarou spits, never once halting the movements of his hips as he watches the way you start sobbing even more, your cunt spasming around his cock after his painful spank.
“Please...f-fuck, please spit in my mouth and my face and on my cunt- want it all”, you start brabbling, another row of incohrent begs following right afterwars as your hips sloppily meet his harsh thrusts, “I want you to stuff me full of your cum, too- please, Daddy, wanna be your little c-cumdumpster.”
“There you go..”, Kyoutani’s plump lips stretch into a big smile as his cock throbs at the sound of that one forbidden little word he’s come to love even more after hearing it from you only a handful of times.
He didn’t hesitate to tell you about how much it turns him on around two weeks after the two fo you had started dating and even though he never really expected you to use it, he was secretely hoping for you to overcome your shyness.
You had used it only twice before when the pleasure had gotten too much for your brain to handle and Kyoutani knew you’d stop holding yourself back as soon as you got a taste of his cock.
“What did you just call me, pretty girl?”, he cooes, giggling softly at the way you whimper and cry even harder, knowing oh so well what he wants to hear.
And for the first time you just can’t get yourself to argue with the little voice in the back of your head; the feeling of his cock stretching your tiny cunt making it so, so easy to just let go of all those doubts and worries.
“Please, Daddy”, you reply and look into his eyes, groping your own tits as you arch your back to feel him even deeper inside of you, “n-need your cum inside of me...please- want everyone to know who I belong to.”
You don’t really expect it, yet your pussy almost instantly start clenching around his cock when kyoutani harshly grabs your face, making you part your lips before he spits into your mouth.
The loud, lewd sound of it rings in your ears in the best way possible and acting like a literal aphrodisiac in combination with the delicious taste of his saliva coating the hot muscle of your tongue.
You hum softly before you swallow it all, a gentle sob escaing your lips before you look up at him again.
"Now go on, angel girl”, he growls, pushing his hand in between your legs to rub circles into your hardened clit, “I want you to cum for me. Be a good little dumpster for your Daddy and show me what only I can do to you.”
You can barely process his words, the lewdness just fueling the fire in the pit of your stomach as you lose yourself in the feeling of your upcoming high. But you still start nodding, cringing at the feeling your saliva dripping down your jawline.
And with one last thrust, you feel your high crashing down onto you with such heaviness, you're left absolutely breathless.
Your whole body is trembling as the waves of your orgasm hit you, a row of incoherent words leaving your lips before you stop trying and just start crying for your precious Daddy.
"That's my baby”, is the first thing your brain manages to process again, everything still a blurry mess and when you look at Kyou, you realize you’re still cumming.
Your cunt is almost painfully spasming around his big cock, your juices dripping down the sides of his length as he helps you ride out your orgasm.
“You’re such a good, good girl for Daddy, aren’t you? I'm so proud of you", Kyoutani praises you, his thrust a little sloppier than before and from the way he's digging his fingers into the skin of your waist, you can only assume that he's also quiet close, "you're also going to take all of Daddy’s cum, right, baby? We gotta make sure I fill you up nicely..."
You take a deep breath, your slightly overstimulated cunt sending shivers down your spine as your eyes focus on Kyoutani's parted lips.
"Please, Daddy...need you to fill me up with your cum", you encourage him and when you slowly push two of your fingers into his mouth, knowing how much he loves to suck on them no matter what situation you’re both in, you finally get to see his whole face crunch up in pleasure.
His body tenses up as his grip on your waist becomes firmer before he starts cumming inside of you with a deep, raspy moan; coating the walls in several shades of white with three thick spurts of his cum.
Kyoutani buries his face in the crook of your neck as he slowly calms down, loud breathing and rushed gasps for air the only thing to fill the inside of his empty room.
"I love you so much", he whispers and gives you a soft kiss, his cock still firmly buried inside of your sensitive cunt before he shoots you a soft smile; looking almost boyish with his glossy eyes and flushed cheeks.
"I love you, too, D-Daddy”, you whisper, gulping harshly as the words leave your lips, feeling yourself grow even smaller underneath his strong yet comforting gaze, “thank you for giving us a chance", you add and pull him into for another kiss.
"Kyoutani Kentarou, your favorite group of walking disappointments is back and better than ev - oh", Iwaizumi Hajime, Kyoutani's High School best friend, fellow tattoo aritst and roommate suddenly yells and almost brutally slams open the door, startling you to the last bone in your body.
Kyoutani is quick to cover you up with his body, his hand reaching for one of the blankets on the floor as he grunts in annoyance.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't know–", "What is it, Iwa-Chan? Is he jerking off again? Kyoutani Kentarou you little piece of shit, just go and fuck that–", just like Iwaizumi, Oikawa – who also happens to be his best friend, felow tattoo artist and roommate – comes to stand in the doorway, bumping into his best friend before he finally spots the two of you.
"You're naked", he points out, closing his eyes almost instantly after realizing what he has just come to witness and despite the disgusting feeling of wanting to disappear and never come back again, you can't help but giggle at their shocked and slightly disgusted faces.
Kyoutani takes a deep breath and pulls out of you, still making sure to hide you behind his body before he hands you the blanket and lets his eyes shift to the door, looking at his best friends in pure disbelief.
"Kawa stop fucking staring and – can you two please fuck off?", he yells, pulling the boys back to reality and the way both of them shift to look at you only to blush from their necks to their ears has you chuckling softly.
This type of situation is nothing you’re not used to – unfortunately.
"Uhm – of course! Oh, my fucking God! So sorry, Kyou", Iwaizumi stutters and wraps his fingers around the doorknob, avoiding your eyes as much as he can before he pushes Oikawa away and then closes the door with another row of apologies.
Kyoutani just looks at you apologetically as he shakes his head and face palms himself, making the both of you burst into loud laughter.
And after taking a shower together and actually eating some late dinner with the boys, you fall asleep with Kyoutani's arms tightly wrapped around your waist, his face buried inside the crook of your neck and one last love confession.
And when those sweet words fall past his lips yet again, you realize – you're finally home.
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2K notes · View notes
en-amours · 3 years
Text
「 enha going “ooh, you wanna kiss me so bad” — hcs 」
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— 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘴: requested by 🍓 anon! frankly, i don’t think this falls into the headcanons category bc they’re all bulletpoint scenarios (which is why this is a bit longer than the other one i wrote) :’> anyways, hope y’all enjoy, and sorry this took a bit longer than intended, hehe <3
— 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦: fluff, humor, angst in ni-ki’s part if you squint lol
♡ — taglist: @yoshinung @cyberhwng @stargirlstories @lovelycharm05 @honeyju
— 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵: 1.9k
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「 LEE HEESEUNG ! 」
listen, you love heeseung with all your heart. you would gladly give the world to him if he asked in a heartbeat; but if you have to sit through his aegyo one more time you will throw hands
it didn’t even agitate you the first time you saw his aegyo—in fact, you even found it endearing: you’d use it to clown him every time he’d ask for something
“oh? heedeungie wants a cookie, i hear?”
he does nothing bc he’s resigned himself to the fact that you and the boys would never live him down the moment he agreed to do it
but as he progressively got better and more comfortable practicing cute expressions, it became a “oh, how the turns have tabled” moment and he now uses it to clown you
he knows you hate it, too, so when he does aegyo he goes to the extreme—dignity be damned
so when you give him the blankest look the next time he pulls the cutesy card again, he laughs gently, puffing his cheeks out as he pokes his dimple
“hee,” you start, “do you plan on getting out of this relationship in one piece?”
but your boyfriend—being the absolute warrior he is—pays no heed to your tone and moves closer, your demise giving him all the joy he could possibly have. “why? i thought you loved heedeungie?”
not anymore, you don’t
before you can retort, heeseung grins at your expression. “ooh, you wanna kiss me so bad~”
when you go quiet he considers stopping the whole façade
then he feels your lips on his
haha, heartbeat go brrrrrrrr
mans is so 👏 damn 👏 flustered 👏 when you put your hand against his cheek
you pull away once you can feel his heartbeat beneath your fingertips; he’s rosy and breathless and he nearly loses his mind once he realizes you’re grinning
“so that’s what it takes to get you to stop… maybe you should do aegyo more often.”
——————
「 JAY PARK ! 」
“oh, gODDAMMIT QUIT IT WITH THE TURTLE SHELLS, JAY.”
“WHY DON’T YOU MAKE ME??”
this is what the rest of the members have to deal with every time jay has the nerve to ask you to play video games with him you’re both the reason why jungwon bought everyone a pair of earplugs each
your level of competitiveness skyrockets whenever it’s a duel (or even games where you’re both on the same team—it’s just a trial of who can outdo the other)
god forbid anyone who suggests card games on a sleepover (looking at you, jake; ni-ki still hasn’t forgiven him for suggesting uno when he was situated right between you and jay) because they’re in for a long time of ✨ suffering ✨
it’s an instinct for everyone to put one foot out the door when you and jay settle in front of the television
this match in mario kart, however, went a little ,,, differently
“i will crush you, jongseong,” you seethe, eyes blazing because it’s your third rematch and the tiebreaker and you don’t know what you’ll do if you end up losing.
“that’s what you said the last two games,” he scoffs, leaning forward in immense concentration.
“your yoshi character can suck it.”
“ooh, you wanna kiss me so bad.”
dude’s about to jump in ecstasy once he’s a few seconds away from the finish line at the third lap, but oh ho ho jay.gif has left the building once you kiss him on the cheek
literally freezes in shock for a solid ten seconds
in the span of which you took your chance to zoom past his avatar, thus winning the tiebreaker
looks at you, then at the screen, back to you again, then—
“WAIT THAT IS C H E A T I NG THAT DOESN’T COUNT WAIT WHAT—”
(he’s highkey vv flustered though; if you just got off your high horse and looked at him you’d have noticed how red he got)
——————
「 JAKE SHIM ! 」
ever since you told jake that you also weren’t able to attend your formal in the past, he’s been dead-set on asking you to a slow dance
you’d told him about it during your one of your many heart-to-heart talks, convos about fading memories from elementary and the anxiety-riddled nights in highschool, until it dwindled down to that
“i’m cool with it—formal is just an excuse to drain half of your college tuition for one night, anyway,” you’d said, but jake didn’t miss the way your eyes went softer in a haze of memories of what could’ve
so now you’re staring up at him, with his hand extended out to you, moon river playing in the background and jake’s smile has never been brighter
“you’re unbelievable,” you state.
“but you’re smiling anyway,” jake shrugs as he pulls you up, he places your hands on his shoulders gingerly, his own pair travelling down to hold your waist.
the next two minutes are spent in immeasurable laughter and half-hearted insults (“y/n, you’re a terrible dancer.” “says the dude who keeps on stepping on my toes every ten seconds, can you not—”); nevermind that there aren’t any cheap party lights blinding you, or your present classmates aren’t there to croon over who you were dancing with—in this tiny living room, all you can focus on is how it feels so right to have jake in your arms, and how this might be better than any formal you’d have attended.
your incredulous mask wears away, and jake dips his head to check with a grin. “aw, is my baby getting sentimental?”
you scoff, suppressing a smile. “mate, you’re the one who cries over layla at least five times a day. i hate you.”
“ooh, you wanna kiss me so bad,” he taunts, relishing the way you laugh in response. you do kiss him, on the nose, softly, before resting your head on his shoulder, holding him closer.
“shim jaeyun, you are one of the most cliché people i know,” you pull away to look at him, at his eyes twinkling softly beneath the light, and you smile. “but thank you for this. truly.”
jake laughs softly, presses a kiss to your forehead. “i wouldn’t have formal any other way than this.”
——————
「 PARK SUNGHOON ! 」
so,, uh,,, i may have gotten a tad bit too carried away with sunghoon’s so i wrote a separate drabble for him,,,, hehe
it’s called “loser (affectionately)” and you can find it right here!
did i base the title off the “twitter: hellsite (derogatory)” meme here on tumblr? yes. yes, i did.
do i also think the drabble’s way too fucking cheesy? also yes.
but i hope you guys enjoy it nonetheless </3
——————
「 KIM SUNOO ! 」
here’s another one that turned into a full-fledged drabble because i have no self-control </3
it’s titled “maybe the night” and you can find it right here!
i got soft listening to ben&ben again 😔 their music is so damn good hhhhhh
highly recommend them !!
(also while writing this i realized i have a soft spot for our ddeonu i love him sobs)
——————
「 YANG JUNGWON ! 」
you hated yang jungwon.
well, no, that’s a lie—let me rephrase that again: you hated yang jungwon for having absolutely no mercy on your wallet
as if you weren’t worn out from the sparring match in taekwondo earlier, your best friend had to go and put the weight of his pride on your shoulders; ambling around with a stance that says, i’m the best and this abnormally overpriced chocolate milk carton acquired from y/n’s demise is solid proof.
(you’re grateful for your friendship, but this is one of the times when you regret ever making the bet with him)
the blushing clouds mark the end of another day, and you sigh, pocketing your (very few) change grumpily. “i’m going to go blind if you keep on smiling like that, yang—tone the brightness down a notch.”
jungwon: no ❤️
you try and reason with him that it was because you had too many shit you had to deal with prior to the match, but the dimpled teen wouldn’t hear any of it (knowing that all of it is bluff, you’re a terrible liar)
“you know that was a one time thing, right?” you say, and jungwon mocks you la-la-la-you-lost and he skips across street like a kid does after school, “i’m gonna beat you next time—”
“ooh, you wanna kiss me so bad.”
he pokes your cheek and retracts quickly when you try to bite him. you glare at him, but the sun hits the side of your face so you end up squinting at him instead.
then he LAUGHS
(u know,,, the one where his eyes turn into crescent moons and his lil dimple shows? yea, that one)
and you’re just standing there like 🤠
you sigh, partially because you’ve seen him do this one too many times, and because you always fall victim to his charm, so you ruffle his hair and trudge on with the air of a fallen soldier
(dw jungwon holds your hand on the way home and gives you a piece of candy bc he loves you, too)
((you’re still beating his ass next time, though,,,))
——————
「 NI-KI ! 」
ni-ki wants to slam his head against a wall (≡^∇^≡)
(as, per usual, how every highschooler feels as they near the end of another laborious school day)
((but even more so in his case bc who the fuck blurts out “ooh, you wanna kiss me so bad” when they’re going against their crush in a debate when they can’t think of a effective counterargument?? ni-ki, apparently))
he didn’t even mean to say it; he was so caught up in the heat of the moment that all heed for whatever slipped through his teeth disappeared, and now the whole class is staring at him open-mouthed in equal parts shock and excitement.
but the worst thing is that you’re staring at him, too—with wide eyes and an expression he can’t read
“n-no, i didn’t mean— i— you…” ni-ki’s hands fly up wildly, his limited braincells trying to think of a way to weasel out of the situation (which is impossible now, it seems). “i’m…”
the teacher observing from the side, who’s been aware of ni-ki’s crush for some time: ᕕ[ ・ ▾ ・ ]ᕗ
heat flares in his cheeks and he looks down cursing you because screw you for being so beautiful and smart why did i have to like you i Hate this
…apparently he’s said that out loud too bc his classmates are losing their shit & he promptly wants to ✨ evaporate ✨
everyone is just “??!!” because they’ve been led to believe that y’all hated each other and now this???
“you… like me?” you squeak, ni-ki can’t bear to look at you and he feels remorse peeking in his chest like an old friend; he waits for rejection, or an insult, at the very least, but when he is met with silence he looks up to see that you’re just as frazzled as he is, and his heart leaps. “like… really like me?”
the answer hangs on his tongue, but the bell intervenes, and everyone collectively jumps. ni-ki is the first to dip. he returns to his seat, grabs his bag in one swift motion; the teacher stutters out the usual end-of-class statement out of habit, and with that the blond ambles out of the room with a bitter look, finishing what his sensei was supposed to say: point to y/n.
but if loverboy looked back at that moment, he might’ve seen you trying to fight back a smile, butterflies roaming your stomach; because you no longer have to pick at daisies, wondering he hates me, he hates me not.
1K notes · View notes
whereisten · 4 years
Text
Devotion/Obsession
A Jaehyun fic that’s part of our Halloween Series!
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Summary: Jaehyun is new to town and wants you to show him around. But the truth is, he has known you for a while..
Pairing: Lucifer!Jaehyun x female reader
Other Characters: Husband!Kun
Genre: angst, smut, horror
Warnings: cursing, alcohol use, cheating, stalking, obsession, possessiveness, smut: breeding kink, unprotected sex, nipple sucking, size kink, fingering, oral sex (female receiving), multiple orgasms, c*eampie, pregnancy, character death.
Word Count: 8.9K
(A/N: okay ummm...this is influenced by stories told in the Bible, I hope I do not offend you with my interpretation, Jaehyun in this is a huge stalker!! This isn’t love, he’s obsessed and it’s unhealthy. But I hope you guys enjoy❤️ THANK YOUUU ARI FOR PROOFREADING THIS FOR ME I LOVE YOUUUU❤️❤️❤️❤️😭)
——————
Long ago, there were two beings on Earth, Adam and Eve. They were created by God and tainted by Lucifer, the serpent. The serpent found himself in love with God’s creation, Eve, for she bears a striking resemblance to his first love, Lilith, whom God cursed and sent away. 
God’s most beautiful angel, Lucifer, fell in love with Lilith even though he was forbidden by God to do so. He tried to fight for her in a war against the angels of Heaven, but was struck down to Hell where he could rule the dark. He saw Lilith become a demon. Her beauty had gone away as God made her ugly and it hurt Lucifer to even look at her anymore.
And so, Lucifer turned to Eve and loved her instead, polluting her mind, body, and soul and thus, causing her to be cursed by God as well. She was hidden by God from Lucifer. He grew angry and decided to continue to defy God by living on Earth and causing havoc on both small and large scales.
He went by the name of Jaehyun now, a strikingly handsome bachelor with a mansion on the outskirts of a popular city. He stayed on Earth at the exact point above hell where his throne rested so he could cause evil to run through the city unstopped.
He never forgot about Eve. After all these years, his soul still yearned for her. He cursed at God for hiding her from him and for taking not one, but two of his dearest loves away.
He would walk through the city and see all the couples enjoying each other’s company. They’d laugh and smile and he’d wish nothing but pain for them. If he couldn’t be happy, why should they?
Then one day..he saw her..he saw Eve.
————
You were packing away fruits, placing the oranges in an organized pattern so they wouldn’t fall to the floor of the supermarket. He saw you, delicately picking up the spoiled fruits and placing them into the bin to throw away later. You had a small smile on your face that made you look sweet and your fingers were soft, gentle. You looked at each fruit with adoration in your eyes, like you treasured the round balls of nectar as if they were made of gold.
He walked closer to you, still staring intently.
He wondered how you could exist, how you were here with her face, her body, her hair..you were her. It didn’t take long for him to notice the sparkling ring on your wedding finger. But he didn’t care about that, now that he had you, he would never let you go.
Even if you didn’t sound like Eve or looked at him the way she did when she was in love with him, he had to have you.
“Hello, can I help you, sir?” You turned to the man you noticed had been hanging around you for a bit too long.
Your voice was heavenly, it was the best thing he’d ever heard.
You were looking at him, awaiting his answer when you placed an apple onto the shelf. You didn’t see that placing it in that exact spot would cause for another to fall. But Jaehyun already knew.
He quickly knelt down beside you and caught the green apple as it fell.
You looked down at him and gasped. How could he move so quickly.
He stood up straight, still locking eyes with you. A smile creeps across his face.
“Here.” He hands you the apple as you look down at it still in shock.
“Oh..thank you.” You chuckled and took it from him, then started to walk away after feeling..odd.
He walked towards you. “Umm..excuse me, miss? I’m new here, and I just want to know..where can I find the best coffee?”
He looked down at your name tag.
“Y/n..” he says quietly.
His voice is smooth and nice, just as nice as his perfect face, you thought it ought to have been carved by God himself. His jawline was perfect and his eyes were magnetic, you couldn’t look away.
However, you should’ve. You were married after all.
“Oh..hmm about five blocks south, you’ll find Johnny’s Café, it’s quite nice actually.”
Jaehyun wanted to ask you to join him, just so he could talk to you, just so he could get close to you and have you firmly in his grasp, never to let you disappear again. But he didn’t, he decided to wait, if he scared you away, that would only make it worse for not only him, but for you as well. The last thing he wanted was to hold you against your will just because you resembled her.
“Thank you, y/n, I’ll see you next time.” He walked close to you and nodded slowly. As if hypnotized, you never let his eyes go while you nodded.
He walked by you, leaving you breathless and almost star struck, but who was he? Why did he have this interesting glow about him that made him stand out from everyone else?
Later that day, Jaehyun followed you home. His black Lamborghini wasn’t discreet to say the least, so he had to trail behind a few hundred feet. He could see you jamming out to music in your car as you left work. 
You were adorable and happy, he loved seeing you like this.
He parked far away from your house, he walked over in a long black trench coat and watched as you went inside. You were greeted by a man that looked like...Adam..
His eyes grew into glowing red orbs, he tried hard to hold back his horns and nails.
“This is God’s idea of a joke, isn’t it?” He spoke to himself. Not only were you the exact replica of Eve, your husband was an exact replica of Adam.
You hugged your husband, Kun, hard and smiled widely, happy to see him after a long day at work.
The door clicks shut and Jaehyun stands there with steam escaping his hot ears. He had to figure out how to get rid of Kun.
————
[The Next Day]
You’re lugging around a large box of lettuce through the aisles when you see him..again.
“Hello, y/n, do you need help?” 
You stare at him. “W-what are you doing here?”
He was handsome, you had to admit, your heart couldn’t stop beating like crazy when he showed up. He was stylish in his turtleneck and jean jacket. He smelled refreshing like amber and honey.
“What? A man can’t shop for groceries?” His dimples peeked through as he smiled and tilted his head.
“Oh-no it’s just, two days in a row?”
You furrowed your brows when you sensed something wasn’t right.
Jaehyun could tell that your heart rate was rising because of his presence, you looked around like you were nervous.
“I know, it’s weird, right? But the truth is..I just wanted to see you again..” he said huskily. You felt your chest weaken.
You put the box down and turned to him. “Oh so you’re one of those creeps? Well, I’m flattered but..I’m also married.”
“That’s alright..” he gave a small smile, his dimples showing through again. You turned away. 
“So...what are you looking for today?”
“A friend.”
“A friend?” You chuckled.
He swayed from side to side and looked up to the ceiling. “Okay, I’ll get to the point..there’s a..korean barbecue place that I wanted to try..are you free after work?”
He was so strange but had an aura about him that you couldn’t ignore. His features were sharply defined and his eyes never let you go. You should’ve been creeped out but you weren’t, for he was warm and intriguing. Lately, you felt like Kun was so busy with work. You’d get home and wait hours for him, your friends were busy as well as they were either taking college classes or travel king constantly.
Sometimes, you felt you were alone, so why not start something new.
You hummed before answering. 
Jaehyun watched your cute expression, the way you looked to the floor and stuck your hands in your apron.
“I guess..I am free after work.” You nodded.
Jaehyun nearly jumped up and down right inside the store. He grinned from ear to ear.
“Just don’t pull any moves, I’m married okay?”
You teased and felt your face become warm.
“I promise I won’t.”
The two of you went to dinner at the Korean barbecue place Jaehyun wanted to try. He was enraptured by you, caught up in your presence. He was so in love and you had no idea.
You told him about places to visit in the city and he told you about where he had come from. He made up a city and a backstory to relate to you, telling you that he had investments that started from his grandparents and that’s how he made money.. He’d do anything just to keep speaking with you, even if it meant lying.
He fought hard to hold back his naturally glowing red eyes and goat-like horns. He had to remain normal so you could become his soon enough.
And when you left him and went home, he stayed outside of your house once again, using his elevated hearing skills to listen to you speak with your husband.
Kun was talking to you about some new project he had in a city about two hours away. You stayed silent, disappointed that he would be gone yet again for a business trip. Kun was the senior architect and had to present, he couldn’t skip out on these trips as much as he wanted to.
“Listen, baby I’m sorry but you know how it is.”
Kun stepped into the bathroom as you brushed your teeth. He took his shirt off as he was about to shower.
You spit water out into the sink and look at your reflection, you were trying hard to hold back your anger. Kun stood behind you and watched you through the mirror with a concerned expression on his face.
“If I knew you were going to be gone all the time, I wouldn’t have married you..”
Kun scoffed. “Don’t say that, you know you don’t mean that, y/n.” He wrapped his arms around your waist and smirked through the mirror.
His hand went to your breast and cupped it.
“I mean it, Kun, how is this supposed to work when we have a family? I want us to both be present for our kids.” 
Kun kissed along your neck, he knew you were ticklish. 
You started to giggle. “Kun..stop, you’re distracting me.”
“Ahh baby, did you just say “our kids?” Are you trying to tell me something?” He squeezed your breasts gently
You turned to him and kissed his lips. His other hand reached under your frilly nightgown, bunching it up at the waist, and to his satisfaction you wore nothing else under it. 
“Should we start right now? Should we have a family?” He brushes his clothed erection into your back as he presses his fingers over you already dripping folds. His deep voice always got you like this.
You gasped and looked at him through the mirror. Soon you were gripping the edge of the counter and crying out his name as he fucked you from behind. He grabbed your hair, pulling your head back so you could look at him through the mirror as you came all over his girthy cock.
Jaehyun heard it all, he imagined it was him bringing you to sweet paradise like he did long ago. He listened to your moans and imagined it was his name you called as your eyes rolled in the back of your head.
It pained him to have to pleasure himself as he imagined all that he would do to you. He was Lucifer, after all. He could have anyone in the dark world pleasure him without even asking twice, but he didn’t want just anyone. He wanted you, and soon he would have you right in his grasp.
————-
[1 Month Later]
Jaehyun was a regular customer at the supermarket you worked at, he’d come in at least once a day. You found it odd that he always knew when your breaks were, so he’d bring you coffee or a snack.
If he didn’t visit during his break, he’d wait for you outside so you’d go to a new place for dinner together after you clocked out.
You spoke about everything. He seemed so smart as he knew about every detail in history and taught you about the world and why things were the way they were.
You watched him intently, your eyes grew when he told you something so interesting, your heart started to race. Like the presence of aliens or ghosts and witches. They all existed and Jaehyun told you all of the evidence as you sat there, stunned.
And then, it was his turn to ask questions.
He finally asked about your husband, even though he knew everything about him.
He knew that he had a short temper sometimes but your fights would either lead to make up sex or him sleeping on the couch. He had watched you every night since finding you. He didn’t sleep, for even the thought of closing his eyes and losing sight of you made him sick to his stomach.
“My husband, Kun, is an architect. He works really hard, but he loves me and I love him. He’s really sweet, I never stop thinking about him. We got married about a year ago, and I couldn’t be happier.” You smiled as you looked down at your hot pot as thought of Kun.
“Ahh..that’s nice..he seems like a supportive partner, during your first year of marriage, have you fought a lot?” Jaehyun tilted his head while smirking.
“Nope! We don’t fight at all, we’re pretty chill, you know?”
You were lying to him and he didn’t like that, but he swallowed hard and smiled nonetheless.
“I see..” he nodded.
He realized that he’d have to work harder to get you to stop thinking about Kun. He’d have to sabotage your current relationship if he ever dreamed of being with you soon.
Killing him would be too easy, he’d have to make Kun so bad, that you’d run to him for relief.
———
[A Week Later]
You kissed Kun goodbye and wished him well for his trip. He quickly kissed you back and walked through the front door without a hug.
“Honey?” You called out to him. “Where’s my hug?” You pouted.
He threw his hand up and continued to walk towards his car. “Sorry, baby, gotta go!”
He had been acting strange these past few days, but you knew he was stressed so you brushed it off. You had had sex the night before but he wasn’t as gentle as he usually was, you could tell something had upset him as he choked you for the first time. You didn’t mind it, you were just surprised by how...different he was.
Little did you know that it was Jaehyun that was making his daily work more difficult. Kun’s important documents and files would go missing right before a presentation, his coworkers weren’t showing up for work, and his boss was always upset with him for some reason. He was starting to dislike his job and he wasn’t sure why, for this was his passion, but lately, everything seemed to be going poorly.
Kun was having difficulty sleeping as well. He’d have disturbing dreams of a place with fire and monsters with sharp teeth. He’d sweat and pant, and eventually be jolted awake in his bed, every night at 3:23 A.M. he’d go downstairs and watch something on TV or write down a few project ideas.
The lack of sleep definitely contributed to his poor mood, but he didn’t tell you for some reason.
Jaehyun watched Kun speed off. He smiled to himself, knowing that his plan was working, he was getting frustrated at work and began taking his anger out on you. 
————
[Four Days Later]
You continued to spend time with Jaehyun. You lost track of time as you watched him speak. His dimples were adorable, his voice was intoxicating and you loved staring into his deep brown eyes.
He watches you play with your wedding ring as you nod and smile at him. His smile was like a blooming garden, his laugh was like heavenly trumpets. The two of you were flirting now, and he could tell from your heartbeat that you weren’t really listening to him, instead, you were fantasizing about him. The glances turned into stares.
You watched his lips and licked your own, your face was hot, but you furrowed your brows and looked down at your ring.
What were you doing? Were you getting emotionally attached to him? You couldn’t do this, you couldn’t hurt Kun.
You got up from your seat. “Well, it’s late.. I should go.”
“Noo.. don’t leave yet.” Jaehyun stood up and touched your hand. The disappointed look in his eyes ate away at your heart. You were developing a nice friendship, but a part of you was afraid that it was becoming something more, something that couldn’t be.
“You look stressed. Do you want a drink?..we can visit that new bar in town.” Jaehyun bites his bottom lip.
A drink did sound nice, it had been a while since you and Kun went out to a bar together and sometimes you did miss the atmosphere, you were young after all, everyone else in their early twenties went out.
Jaehyun smiled to himself as he saw you contemplate your options. He knew you were worried about Kun, but he also knew you needed to have some fun.
So you agreed.
The two of you went out to a bar and drank. You laughed and joked around all night. Jaehyun pretended to be affected by the alcohol, just so he could make you laugh and see your beautiful smile.
He dropped you off home at about 1 A.M after you sobered up a bit.
You turned to him and licked your lips. “You know, Jaehyun, if I weren’t married to Kun..I would date you for sure.” You giggled and leaned in close. And all Jaehyun could think was “yes.” He wanted to feel your plump lips so badly, he wanted to caress them and make love to you to relive the best days of his life, but now was not the time.
He backed away and held your hand while searching your eyes. “Y/n...you should go inside now..”
You sighed, nodding as you opened the door to quickly leave before you could embarrass yourself any more.
You go into your house and to your surprise, Kun is there, his face red and stern as he sat on the loveseat in the living room. The room was dark, lit only by a small night light in the corner and the moonlight from outside. 
Kun was nearly fired by his boss during his trip. He was upset and frustrated, but what made matters worse was when he went home at 10 PM to see that you weren’t there. Then time went on and you still didn’t come home.
You smirked and put your bag down.
“Babyyyyy.. I missed you.” You start to crawl over his lap slowly.
He can tell from the drawn out tones in your voice that you’re drunk. He winces and turns away.
“Where were you, y/n?”
“Out with a friend..we had some drinks and talked.” You straddle him, placing his crotch in between your legs as you kneel over him. You then lean down and kiss his collarbone.
“Why are you home so late? Is it because you didn’t think I’d be home early?” Kun growled out. He wasn’t amused in the slightest by the way you were acting.
“No, baby, I just wanted to hang out with someone for a little bit, you know? I’m so lonely when you’re not here.”
You try to kiss his lips but he flicks his head to the side.
“Who’s this “friend?”
You gulp and straighten your body. You pout as you look down at him. “Baby, kiss me..don’t you miss me too?” You take the straps of your dress down before unhooking your bra and throwing it to the floor.
Jaehyun watched through an open window behind the loveseat as you kneel over an angry Kun. His eyes glow red and his horns grow out of his head as does the straining member in his pants. You in your drunken haze never noticed the pair of crimson eyes outside.
Kun doesn’t touch you or look at your breasts with nipples begging to be sucked. He wanted to take them into his mouth badly, but he was more focused on another issue at hand.
He wrapped his hand around your throat. “Tell me..their name.”
You smirked. “His name is Jaehyun..but we’re just friends, baby, I promise.”
Kun thrusts himself into you from below, grinding hard against your covered opening. You whimper and move your hips to rub your slit against him.
“Well..stop being friends with him, no guy just wants to be friends with a girl..he wants to fuck you..”
You grind down onto him harder, he squeezes his hand and grips your thigh.
“He doesn’t, he’s really nice and helps me at work sometimes.”
Kun digs his nail into your thigh causing you to cry out in pain. He digs into it so deep, he sees blood from your leg run onto his thumb.
But you reach under your dress and pull his boxers down. You still wanted him in your aching core badly, the pain only added to your yearning.
“Y/n.” He says sternly as he watches you align yourself with his hard cock. You sink down onto him slowly and let out a loud moan as it passes through the sensitive skin and rests deep in your core. You adjust to him quickly as you had already been built up by dry humping him before.
He squeezes your throat again.
“Y/n..” 
You move up and down. “Yes..” you call out before licking your lips.
He grabs your waist with both hands and lifts you off of him.
“Kun!” You cry his name after being left empty.
“You’re not gonna get out of this so easily. If you want my cock, tell me you’re done with him.”
“But, baby..”
Kun shakes his head. “Don’t. I’m your husband and you should really take into consideration how I might feel when you spend time with men, when you fucking drink alcohol with men like..like some kinda slut.”
You gasped. “Slut?” 
Kun nods. “Look at you, you’re just thirsty for any male attention. I work my ass off for a few days and you’re already looking for a replacement.”
“Kun, that’s not true.” You felt your chest rumble, as if you were about to burst into tears.
He flips you over onto the couch. “I’m your husband, aren’t I?”
You nod.
“Then do as I say, don’t go out with Jaehyun again.”
Before you can protest his thrusts into you hard and begins to choke you again.
He goes hard and fast as you mewl. 
“Baby, slower, please.”
He bites your nipple and looks down at you to see your body tremble with each rough thrust he gives you, your lips parting to let out the most heavenly moans, your round breasts moving up and down, your legs bent and spread across the loveseat.
“You’re all mine, right?”
“Yes..fuck, yes.” His thumb on your clit makes you dizzy.
“Then I’m gonna breed you, would you like that? Gonna fuck you so hard and get you pregnant.” Kun grunts into your ear.
Jaehyun grimaces outside of your window. Kun, or Adam rather, hadn’t changed at all. He still believed in a woman’s subordination to her husband. He believed from the beginning of time that a woman should lay under her husband, not above.
And now, he was trying to make you his by breeding you, making it impossible for you to break the link between the two of you. But Jaehyun had to make sure that didn’t happen, he had to stop him before he could do this to you.
————
[Three Days Later]
It’s been three days since that night and you hadn’t shown up to work. Kun made love to you day and night on your time off, he felt threatened by the presence of another male in your life and felt it necessary to remind you why you married him in the first place.
He cooked breakfast for you and bought you nice things. You even went to the movies and ice skating. You enjoyed the time off and Kun’s company, it finally felt like things were getting back to normal. You were happy.
Jaehyun, on the other hand, was furious. He knew where you were, but he couldn’t believe that you had forgotten about him so easily. He didn’t want to get violent, but maybe he would have to.
A few days later, you finally return to work and as usual, Jaehyun was there to bring you a cookie.
“Hey! Where have you been?” He asked as you put bread up on the shelves.
“Oh..I took some time off, Kun came home early so we had a little vacation..thank you for the other night though, I really had a great time.” You finally looked up at him and noticed the slightly crazed look in his eyes. His lips were tightly shut.
“That’s great. Would you like to go out again tonight?” He asks sweetly.
You sigh and shake your head. “Umm...Jaehyun..I can’t..do this..”
His smile starts to fade.
“I-I can’t pretend that we are just friends when I’ve had thoughts about you that I shouldn’t have. I’m married and it’s..really not right for me to get emotionally involved with someone.”
Jaehyun chuckles. “That’s nonsense! We are just friends.”
“But we’re not. Look..it’s best if we end this now, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t come to my work place anymore.”
Jaehyun screams internally. You were really doing as Kun said by cutting him off. Was he that disposable?
A smile still rests on his face. 
“As you wish..” he nods and leaves after handing you the cookie he brought.
You swallow hard and sigh. That was harder than you thought it would be, but it felt right. It felt like you could finally focus on your marriage with Kun.
Your day at work ended as it usually did. You closed up and walked to your car, but as you got closer you noticed a figure standing beside it.
It had two red eyes and horns peeking out of its skull.
You slowed down. “Hello?” You called out into the empty parking lot.
The figure stepped out of the shadows and under a street light, that’s when you squinted to make out its familiar features. The red eyes and horns had disappeared.
“Jaehyun?”
He stood there creepily in a long black coat and black pants. His face was unreadable and he stayed silent.
You walked closer. “Jaehyun, what are you doing here?”
“You know..” Jaehyun scratches his head and laughs.
“I think we should grab something to eat.”
“Jaehyun..” you looked to the side and away from his somber face. You were just a few feet away from each other now.
“We’ll just be eating, we don’t even have to talk.” Jaehyun stepped forward and pleaded.
He didn’t want to lose you, he couldn’t lose you, not after all this time when he had finally gotten so close.
“I can’t, Kun is waiting for me.” You looked up at him with wide eyes.
Jaehyun felt his body tremble whenever you looked at him like that.
He suddenly leaned forward and kissed your lips hard. You fell into him for a brief moment, but then realized what was happening. You quickly bit his lip and pulled away.
“Jaehyun!” You rubbed your lip. “What the hell?!”
He licked the blood on his lips and frowned after your warmth disappeared.
“I’m sorry, I just-“ he reached out for you again but you backed away and opened your car in a rush.
“Leave me alone! I never want to see you again!”
Jaehyun only watched as you scurried into your car seat and locked the car doors.
He banged on the window hard, you jumped from the sound for you were terrified by him. You saw a dark flint in his eyes that you’d never seen.
Tears ran down your cheeks as you put the car in drive.
You sped out of the parking lot and away from him.
“I’ll never let you go, y/n, now that I have you..I’ll never let you go.” He whispered to himself.
————-
[1 Month Later]
The honeymoon feeling you felt with Kun soon dissipated as things went back to how they’d usually been. He spent his time at work and would come home upset, some nights he didn’t even speak to you. He looked sleep deprived and when you asked him about it, he’d have a fit and say he’s fine.
Some nights he wouldn’t look at you, you couldn’t remember the last time you had made love.
He was always short with you, but lately, you found it increasingly difficult to deal with his negative mood. Is this really who you wanted to be married to?
Jaehyun had been messing with him, he’d purposely make every day difficult for him. Kun couldn’t sleep most nights, but when he did, Jaehyun made sure to fill his mind with dark scenes to scare him. Sometimes he’d throw in false images of you making love to a faceless man. It gave Kun the feeling that he was walking in on you cheating on him. He would wake up from these nightmares but they felt so real, he couldn’t ignore how upset they made him.
Kun was paranoid, he felt like someone was out to get him and he didn’t know who it could be, but he didn’t trust even you as much as he did three months ago.
Then one night, you came home late because of a terrible thunderstorm and traffic. You were only about an hour late, but Kun was already home and steaming on the couch.
“Where were you?” He asked as soon as you entered the house.
You exhaled loudly. “Oh, so now you speak to me.”
“Yeah, I’m speaking to you, I’m asking a fucking question.”
You raised your brows. “And who are you to talk to me like that?”
“I’m your husband, or did you forget that when you fucked him tonight?” Kun bit back as he sat up in the chair.
Your face wrinkled as you placed your bag down.
“What are you talking about?”
“Jaehyun..do you think I’m some kind of idiot? I know you’re still seeing him.”
You scoffed. “Wowww Kun.”
You walk away to the kitchen to get some water.
“No, don’t “wowww” me, tell me I’m lying!” His voice started to raise, he walked into the kitchen after you.
“Kun..you sound ridiculous right now, I’m late because there’s a thunderstorm, or do you not hear it just like you don’t hear your phone ringing when I call you?” You asked sarcastically.
“If you’re gonna be late, you should tell me.”
You gulped down your water. “I don’t have to report anything to you! You’re not my king or whatever you think you are.”
“I’m your husband! And you should treat me like a king because look at this house, you wouldn’t be in it if it weren’t for me.”
Your eyes widened. “Are you really holding the house over my head? Wow Kun, you’ve really hit rock bottom, haven’t you?”
Kun chuckles. “Maybe Jaehyun lives somewhere nice, why don’t you go to him since I’m not your king.”
“Okay, here we go again, why are you so insecure, Kun?!” 
The two of you went back and forth that night. You broke down in tears as Kun said hurtful things that left you stunned. 
“I want a divorce!” You yelled and stormed out.
You jumped into your car and drove away, you didn’t know where you were going to go, but you knew you needed to be away from him.
You dialed up Jaehyun who had heard the entire conversation from outside of your house.
“Hello?” He said with the faked tone of confusion in his voice.
“Jaehyun..I need to see you.”
You drove to his house.
It was an incredibly large mansion, and when you went inside, the walls were lined with gold and red velvet curtains. It looked beautiful, unreal almost.
You wondered how Jaehyun could live in an expensive place at such a young age.
Jaehyun looked at your magnificent face as your mouth dropped open.
“Investments.” He smirked.
You laughed and looked back at him. His eyes were warm, his smile was bright.
He could tell you had been crying so once in the foyer he steps close to you and searches your wet eyes.
He runs his thumb along your cheek as you gaze up at him.
“What happened, love?”
You shook your head. “It’s Kun..we fought, I just..I don’t know, Jaehyun, I don’t think we can make it.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, y/n..”
“I love him, I really do but..” you look to the side and sniffle.
“Is he controlling, y/n?”
Your eyes flicker up to him. You nod slowly.
“Is he the reason why you stopped hanging out with me?”
You nod again.
Jaehyun purses his lips. “Y/n..he’s threatened by you, he doesn’t want you to be independent now that you’re married. He wants to control you and that isn’t a partnership. That isn’t love.”
Your eyes brim with tears once again. “Jaehyun..I don’t want to think about him right now...I want to feel loved, can you do that for me?”
Jaehyun’s dark soul nearly escapes his body. “Of course.” 
You place both hands on his head and kiss him slowly and sensually. You both close your eyes as you fall into him more, his arms wrapping around you to bring you closer to him. He wants to become one with you, feel you, smell you, to be completely enraptured by you for eternity.
Time stood still and your heart fluttered as it was finally being satisfied by something it had craved from the first moment you met Jaehyun.
He too felt everything slow down to a crawl, your lips tasted like the sweetest fruit, your hands were soft like plush blankets.
He pulls away to breathe, his hot breath hitting your now swollen lips. “So beautiful” he whispers into them, then kisses you again in the dim lighting of his house.
He takes you into his arms and carries you to one of his many bedrooms.
“I will take you higher than the heavens themself, just give in to me.” He whispers softly.
He lays you down gently onto the fluffy bed and watches as you relax into it, your hair looking gorgeous as it lays against the white sheets, your neck just begging for soft kisses or hastily made bite marks, cute nose and round, swollen lips. He looks into your wide eyes and smiles. “You’re stunning.” He kicks his shoes off and crawls over you.
You giggled and held him by the hem on his shirt. “Jaehyun...kiss me.”
He leaned down and kissed you as you asked. He was transported back to when your name was Eve and the two of you made love in the garden. Your lips taste the same as hers, your skin feels the same, your touch and everything else was the same. Jaehyun was more than pleased to finally be experiencing your love again.
You start to take your pants down your legs and eventually kick them off. Jaehyun takes his clothes off as well, then watches you take your hoodie off to reveal your breasts.
Without hesitation, he lays his tongue flat against the perky nub, coating it with his spit. He then swirls his tongue around it while he massages the other breast that he hasn’t tasted yet. 
You moan and run your fingers through his hair.
His fingers press onto your thigh, then work their way to your sensitive skin between your legs. You tremble as they brush lightly against it.
You arch your back, telling him silently that you want him to go further. He sucks your nipples harder and listens to another moan leave your beautiful lips.
He takes two fingers and uses them to part your folds. He circles his fingertips around your entrance to collect the liquid that has formed from you being so turned on already.
He kisses the skin in between your breasts.
“You taste so sweet.”
He pushes his fingers into you slowly, your legs widen a bit to adjust to him. His fingers are long and slender, but it doesn’t take much time before his knuckles hit your most sensitive part.
“Jaehyun..” you exhale.
His fingers glide in and out of you slowly, he curls his finger tips to press right onto the fleshy spot that makes your head spin. He flicks his tongue across your breast as his fingers work on your needy area.
He looks up at you through low eyes, your dainty fingers grasping onto the sheets tightly.
“So-so close.” You whimper.
His fingers move faster, pressing onto your clenching walls as you get closer.
He then kneels and looks down at you as his fingers still move back and forth.
He licks his lips and lowers his face to the apex of your open legs. He flicks his tongue across you slit now, combining the action of his tongue with his finger to drive you crazy.
He moves his tongue in circular motions onto your clit as his finger moves in faster and presses onto your g-spot harder.
His long tongue flattens onto you repeatedly. 
You cry out his name one final time before cumming onto his fingers. He continues to rub his nose onto your clit and lick inside you as you climax and shake.
You try to push your body up away from him, but he holds your waist down firmly and continues to eat you out.
“Jaehyun!” You look down at him to see his eyes, almost with a glint of red in them, looking up at you sternly.
He places a kiss onto your folds then crawls over you to face you. He licks his lips. 
“Y/n, my love, I will never force you to bow down to me, you are my queen, you always have been. I will not lose you like I did so long ago.”
You’re slightly confused, but you nod and kiss him. He lays down beside you and takes your waist into his hands as his tongue now dances with yours.
He brings your body over on top of his.
Your skin becomes littered with goose pimples as he runs his hands up and down your thighs.
You kneel over his intimidating length and take in a sharp breath while running your hands along his chest and abs. He, too, was magnificent, like a painting or sculpture come to life.
He takes your hand in his and watches your naked body above him. 
He remembered the first time you made love, you rode him that time too, bringing him to his most memorable orgasm of all time.
You sink down onto him slowly, your head falling back instantly.
You couldn’t stop your pussy from clenching around him as he stretched you out so well and stimulated you just from being halfway in.
He pushes up into you to help you. You feel his cock buried deep inside you, running against your silky walls and pressing onto your sweet spot once more.
He curved into you so perfectly. You bite your lips and swivel your hips as you move up and down. He grabs your ass and brings it down onto him. 
He groans when you quiver around him and it is a low sound that you’ve never heard before, it’s almost animalistic.
But it’s hot, and pushes you closer to the edge.
Jaehyun watched your body shimmer in the low, warm lighting of the room. Your face is adorable, your skin is soft and glistens, you smell like vanilla. He wished he could have you like this forever, gliding down onto him, your breasts moving up and down as you whimper and moan from the feeling of his cock stretching you out.
You are his Heaven.
He thrusts up into you harder. The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room as does your groans and cries.
Jaehyun fits you so perfectly, you’re on the brink of tears, you're weak and ride him sloppily as you chase your high.
Jaehyun knows this and flips you over onto your back in a swift move. He places your legs onto his shoulders and pushes into you. His hips slap against yours as he kisses you again.
He uses his ability to grow even more while inside you.
His eyes glow red but your eyes are closed as he fucks into you from above now.
“Jaehyun..fuck..” Tears escape your eyes. Your pussy clenches uncontrollably around his cock.
He runs his palm onto your belly and feels his cock twitch in the pit of your stomach. “I’m so deep inside you, do you like feeling me? Do you want me to release deep inside you?”
He moves faster.
You arch your back. “Fill me up, please, I want you inside me so badly.” You whimper out.
Jaehyun licks his thumb and places it onto your clit. He licks your breast again and sucks hard.
You cum hard and shake.
He climaxes as well, cumming deep inside you as you let out a stream of curses. You had never orgasmed so hard, but something about Jaehyun has you trembling for several minutes. He was able to deliver pleasure just as he was able to deliver pain in the underworld.
He rubs his thumb along the side of your sweaty face while watching his cum leak out of you.
“My love..would you like me to fuck you again?”
His voice is gravelly, but confident, for he already knows the answer.
You nod and within a few milliseconds you’re on your chest with your ass up in the air. Jaehyun pounds you into the bed and has you calling out his name several times that night.
You fall asleep after climaxing many times. You felt amazing, like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders. Jaehyun held you in his arms and cuddled you to sleep.
“Y/n..I’m happy you’re mine now.”
————
[The Next Day]
Jaehyun woke up to see that you left him, you had snuck out and drove back home.
You left a note for him explaining that you couldn’t be in a relationship with him for your heart belonged to Kun. 
“Thank you for being here for me, I am sorry for coming to you during my weakest moment. I hope you will respect my wish to not see you again, as I must remain steady in my marriage to Kun.
With Love, Y/n” 
Jaehyun crumbles up the note and sets fire to it in his hands. His horns grow large and his eyes beam red, furious is an understatement.
How could you do this to him? He made love to you, gave you the best love you’d ever had and you still went back to him.
He would make sure to ruin Kun, for if he couldn’t have you, no one else should.
————
[3 Months Later] 
Jaehyun was still hurt by you leaving him that night, but he knew there was nothing he could do. A part of him wanted you to be happy, but a part of him wanted to destroy Kun so he could have you all to himself.
He had planned to get rid of him until he discovered that you were pregnant. He wasn’t sure if the baby was his or Kun’s, but he did know that if he were to kill Kun you would potentially lose the baby from devastation. He couldn’t do that to you, he couldn’t cause that pain even if he was satisfied by Kun’s death.
So he watches you from afar, imagining once again that it was him preparing for a baby instead of Kun.
The two of you looked happy, maybe it was the child that was making things different.
Either way, he hated seeing you so happy without him.
————
[8 Months Later]
You give birth to your son. You and Kun raise it together and take turns watching it during the night. 
One day, Jaehyun visits you while you cradle the baby at home alone.
You open the door and your smile falls.
Jaehyun, however, smiles harder when he sees your pretty face, glowing from the post pregnancy hormone changes.
Seeing you like this makes him want to get you pregnant all over again.
“J-Jaehyun?” You hadn’t seen him since that night, but he still looked good.
“Y/n..it’s been so long, hasn’t it?”
Something about him being there after so much time made you uneasy.
“Well..can I come in?” Jaehyun gives a half smile.
You nod and let him in.
You hold your baby and sit in a rocking chair. “So..what brings you here?”
“I’m here to see my child of course!”
Your brows furrow. “YOUR..child?”
Jaehyun smirks and steps closer to you. He smiles to himself as he looks at the baby.
“Come on, y/n, did you forget how many times I buried my seed into your beautiful cunt that night?”
You shook your head. “Don’t speak like that, please. I was weak, I-I was sad and broken..”
“Of course, but you loved it, you loved all of it.” He looked up to the ceiling and shut his eyes.
“I can still hear your moans right now.”
“Kun is the father, Jaehyun..this isn’t up for debate.”
“And if he’s not?” He tilts his head and looks back down at you.
“Well, he is. I’ll raise this child with my husband, regardless of who the biological father is, we have no place for you in this house.”
“Tsk tsk...keeping me away from my own child? Y/n..that’s not very nice of you, my love.”
“Don’t call me that!” Your voice rose slightly. “We had one night together, I don’t want to be with you, I will never be yours.”
“You’re already mine, y/n, you always will be, don’t you understand, after all these years?”
You shook your head. “Jaehyun.. you’re crazy. I’d like you to leave.”
You reached your hand out to grab your phone.
Jaehyun sees that you're nervous and chuckles to himself. “Oh..y/n..you’ve really made me upset. I guess I will just have to embrace my nature.”
He shuts the front door as you stare intently.
You always had a fear that the baby might be his, but how did he know you were pregnant in the first place?
————
[Two Days Later]
Jaehyun summons Lilith.
“And to what do I owe the pleasure?”
She appears to him with a slim body and dark hair this time. Her face is perfect like one of some celebrity, but God cursed Jaehyun’s vision so that when he looks at Lilith, he can only see an ugly monster. 
“I need you to take it.”
Jaehyun demands as sits on his throne in Hell. He tosses an apple in the air.
“Seduce the man and come back with the baby.”
“And what do I get out of it?” She places her hand on her hip.
“Nothing. But if you don’t do it, I will rip your fucking head off.” He looks up at her slowly. “Is that a good enough reason for you?”
Lilith scoffs then goes to do as she is told.
She appears to Kun who is half asleep on the couch in the living room. It’s his turn to watch the baby, so he can’t sleep completely.
“Hey there, big boy.” She says smoothly and crawls over him.
“Who—who are you?”
“My name’s Lilith.” She zips her leather jacket down to reveal her bare chest. “You look lonely, sweetheart.”
Kun is hypnotized by her, he doesn’t know if he’s awake or asleep, but he does know that he wants her badly. 
“Do you want to fuck me?” Lilith asks with doe eyes as she looks up at him and pumps her breasts.
Kun nods and soon finds himself enraptured by a succubus, burying himself into her and thus falling into her trap as you, his wife, lay sound asleep in the room above.
Once Lilith brings Kun to an extraordinary climax, he falls asleep.
She then walks upstairs slowly to the baby room.
Her appealing looks disappear and she transforms into her true being, a disturbingly ugly monster with grey skin and long legs and arms. Her bones crack as she grows to about 6 feet 6 inches tall, her black hair falls out onto the floor and her jaw protrudes as her eyes glow red. She smells like rotten eggs as green liquid oozes out of her pores and eyes.
She stares at the baby sleeping soundly in its crib.
You, however, wake up from the crackling sound.
“Kun?” You murmur.
You get up and walk to the baby room.
You nearly pass out from the stench and feel your legs grow weak when you see the ghastly being standing over your baby.
“Hey!” You call out, but when the thing turns around, it already has your baby in its arms. A wide creepy smile filled with about twenty sharp and misshapen teeth creeps across its face.
You start to cry. “Put him down!”
You run towards it but it disappears.
You grasp the crib and look into it, shifting the blankets around before looking under it.
Your baby was nowhere to be found.
You let out a painful scream that Jaehyun, and even your neighbors could hear and fell to the floor.
Kun finally woke up and ran upstairs. He consoled you as you cried uncontrollably.
———-
[One Month Later]
The police and everyone in the neighborhood helped you to search for your baby, but nothing happened. 
You tried to explain that night so many times, but nothing made sense and people just thought you were crazy.
Even Kun. He left you soon after the incident, the heartbreak was too much for him and he didn’t trust you. So he left you, moving further away and starting a new life without you as the divorce papers started to process.
You were alone, you couldn’t deal with the loss of your child. You sat alone at a pond and cried until you couldn’t cry anymore.
Jaehyun knew your time was running out, he knew you’d pass and eventually come to him to live with him in the dark world.
Your heart breaks and you die of sadness at the edge of the pond.
Your soul slips away from your body. 
Jaehyun is there watching as you stare down at it in confusion.
“Jaehyun?”
“Hello, y/n.”
“Where am I?”
“You’re with me now, where you should be.” He smiles as he goes to take your hand, but his hand passes through.
Jaehyun looks in confusion at his hand.
“Can you see me?” You ask.
“Of course I can. I should be able to touch you too, but..” he turns away and looks at his hand which is still vibrating like it had just been shocked with electricity.
“What’s happening?”
He turns back to you, but you’re gone.
“Oh, Lucifer..” a male voice calls out to him.
“You thought you had it all figured out, didn’t you? You would have her die then bring her to hell to live with you forever..”
“Winwin?” He recognizes the angel in front of him.
“I wish I could say it’s nice to see you again, but it really isn’t.”
“What the hell is going on? She’s mine!” He grows angry, his eyes becoming red and his horns growing out in harmony with his black wings.
“No, she isn’t. She belongs with us, remember God will always win.” Winwin smirks.
“No..no they can’t do this to me again!”
“Of course they can! Goodbye, LuLu!” Winwin then spins and disappears.
Jaehyun curses and shouts loudly, so loudly that the heavens can hear him. You can hear him, but now you realized who he really was and why he was so infatuated with you. It broke your heart that he went to such lengths to hold onto you, but now you knew that he was nothing but evil.
Jaehyun could feel you, he could sense you everywhere and sometimes he could see you, but he could never touch you again. He would have to live eternally as a tortured individual that lost his love 3 times.
“Well, at least you have the child.” Lilith looks at her nails as Jaehyun thrashes about in hell.
“What will you name him?”
Jaehyun smooths his hair back and walks to the crib that the baby sleeps in. “His name..is Cain.”
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