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itsalwaysthelatter · 2 years

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Singapore

This is it. It feels like this is the right time to write why I did what I did. 4 yrs ago, I boarded a flight to Singapore for the second time and it was also then that I broke someone’s trust once more and I have never been better.

Before anything else, let me tell you a bit of what happened earlier than 4 years back. I fell in love with my greatest love, then fast forward I cheated on her and somehow managed to ask for another chance but I blew it. So I met some new people, went through multiple relationships but none was enough to convince me to be faithful. I was not emotionally there to appreciate the time, effort and love that has been provided to me. Having said that, I tried so hard to look for that familiar feeling I’ve only felt from her, my greatest love. She fell in love but I fell harder. Took so long for me to admit it. Explains why even though we didn’t end up together and I didn’t get to have the courage to make up for the mistakes of my past and woo her back, I kept her as a “friend”. Everyday I convince myself that it was all platonic just so that I can trick my brain and make each second of my life less painful. Looking back, I realized that my deep loneliness might not have shown on how I react to her messages every time we talk about her new romances but it definitely shows on the way I started to look and act around people near me. I developed stress eating, became disorganized, messy and vulgar.

So Singapore. I was dating someone, at least from my perspective. She obviously had an immense crush with my ex-girlfriend, the “greatest love”. Let’s call them DA(dating) and GL(great love) so we don’t get confused. Also, I’m not a writer. I am writing this as how I imagine myself talking to someone next to me. This is the only way I know how to connect with you. The “you” that I don’t know and perhaps will never meet but has so much time in their hands reading this. I sincerely thank you though for taking time. Anyway, back to the topic. DA started to plant this idea in my head that since we are going to Singapore, isn’t it a good idea for a graduation gift for GL to make her a plus one in our SG trip. Might I add it was supposed to be an intimate trip or vacation. She haven’t even met her yet. She only saw her pictures and heard stories about her from me. This is when you know someone is shitting you but some of you might think I deserve it after reading the first paragraph. Look hey, I don’t blame you, I really don’t. But if I knew what I know now back then, nobody deserves to be treated like shit, not even people like me. You’re probably thinking I said no, right? Because it was a huge red flag. But I was a walking red flag myself and so I said, “Yes, that’s a good idea”. Funny how I was even excited, lol. I know it was going to be chaotic but for some fucked up reason or feeling, I badly want to be a part of it. I was clearly not okay. A little bit after letting GL know about our plan to make her plus one as a gift, they both added each other on Facebook. On a side note, I’m a plane away from them and they are less than an hour away by car from each other.

At the airport where we all met, it was self-evident how chummy their connection was already and like they are on their honey moon stage as a couple. They were bantering, throwing some inside jokes, complimenting and catching a glimpse of each other. With these things going on, one would think not to board on the flight with them. I was looking like an unproductive supporting cast straight out of a very cliché lesbian move. Let’s take this positively though, If I hadn’t boarded that flight, I would have never woken up and I wouldn’t have this story to share to a complete stranger. I asked GL if they are dating or if she has feelings for DA. I’ve asked her this not because I was jealous. At first I thought I was. But as I’ve tried to understand myself and my feelings more in which I failed to do tons of times in the past, I figured jealousy wasn’t the case. I was just really looking for a reason not to lose her in the process. I wanted to keep GL, even if it meant keeping her only as a friend or an acquaintance. It sounded perplexed but to elaborate further, in my mind, I have lived in this bubble wherein I painted her as someone who has always been honest with me, will never break my heart nor would break a friend’s trust. At that time, for me she was the only one worth keeping like she was my Jesus. I’ve insulated myself in that limited reality for so long, I’ve been so unsuccessful in noticing her character development or what might have been affected after her experiences with me and her next relationships. I never thought she’s capable of betraying. So when she looked me in the eye and told me there was nothing going on between them and that DA looked old for her and she wasn’t her type, I heard it. I heard the bubble popped inside my head. I became fully aware that this is the result of the damages that I’ve done. I’ve done this to her, to DA and to me. However, it was just the start. I didn’t get to comprehend much yet, well at least not as much during the 4 days I’ve spent with them in Singapore. In at least one of those days I decided to roam alone in the city to give them both some private time and I was of course, pissed. I hear them mumble about me at night when they thought I was asleep. I hear noises, it wasn’t clear but it was noises and so I’ll leave that to your imagination as I can't for the life of me accurately describe it or if I was hearing things right. We were sharing the same room but I was not sleeping on the same bed with them. But before anyone badly react about the sleeping arrangements, there were two beds and I voluntarily ask that I sleep alone on the other one as I’ve known beforehand on what’s the real deal with them. They didn’t decline so it became more apparent. I don’t want to show them in a bad light so as to give you a bit more info, I’ve lied and cheated my way through my connection with DA. That’s why I confessed earlier that I did this to us. So I understand and accept if my trust towards them was never their priority. Plus if you talk to them, they might have a lot of things to say about me, perhaps majority of it aren’t good ones. Or if I’m wrong, they probably don’t care enough to say anything at all.

If I knew all along about their relationship before the trip, why did I do this? was it worth it? will I do it again? While there are two entirely different explanations to each of those questions, the answer to the second and third one are YES and YES. And so to continue with the topic, let me acknowledge the earliest question. First, at that time, I wanted to prove they were just trying to get back at me and I don’t want to believe that I was rejected, so I decided to go on that flight. Years later, I realized that at that very moment, I still have a lot of “what ifs” with GL. I was always in a constant battle with my brain and feelings to brush off that truth. I hate to accept that I became more into her than she was into me. Second, it’s a “YES” because my bubble burst. And for the first time, I finally had a strong reason to not reach out to GL. I have also learned to open my eyes in new possibilities and myself up to new people. Something I wasn’t able to do before then even after the constant complaints of my exes after her so they could get a peace of mind. In the past, I would rather have those constant long arguments with my current partner about GL than to cut ties with her. Of course years later, still a YES. It was worth it for the very reason I was able to forgive myself for what I’ve done to her and to my exes following her. I have always longed for her forgiveness that I forgot to forgive myself and I didn’t dare to for ages because it felt like I don’t deserve it. I had this chain of piled up guilt towards numerous people like it became a pattern or a sickness. That experience was really worth going through and I’ll do it again as I have learned to pardon myself for becoming what I was and for what I’m negatively turning out to be then afterwards. Now, I get that I was not ready when she met me but she came at the right time because she made everything better in view of the fact that she arrived during my darkest days and saved me in some parts of my previous years. Moreover, I acknowledged that even though she made that great impact in my life, it wasn’t hard for me to destroy it since I wasn’t mature enough to handle the relationship and that I was too comfortable to be in the dark. That having her was too good to be true it felt so much that she doesn’t deserve me and at the back of my head I consistently persuade myself it wouldn’t last and that’s why it didn’t. And that she met me when I was a kid, mentally. A kid who was never the parent’s favorite, always being compared to. The kid who has physical and emotional traumas that she’s been trying to hide growing up. The one who couldn’t come out as gay and when she tried to in order to fight for GL’s love, was then told that it’ll be the reason why her mom wouldn’t survive. Who has also been told that the father she knew growing up, wasn’t really her biological dad. That she has to bottle up that feeling of not knowing because she was so scared of losing her mom in her battle with Cancer. So she has to put a stop on expressing how bad it felt that they kept that secret from her for so long. The same time that kid learnt that she was never the wanted child by her real dad, that he wants her to be aborted. The kid, with no choice but to eventually change her entire full name that it made her feel like her past life was just an illusion. Who was then asked to leave home and was only given 500 to live by and look for her own job in a new city as she made a mistake of flunking one subject after she has gone through the former ordeal. These bad experiences are by no means will ever be an excuse for cheating or lying to someone. But at times, you must recognize what you’ve gone through and cut yourself some slack and rethink of the bad decisions you’ve made and make sure not to do it again as to not sink yourself any lower than you already are. One morning, thankfully, I became capable of stopping myself from thinking that if only she had met me at a later time, she wouldn’t have to go through what she has gone through with me. That was the part I was so guilty about. That I end up setting myself aside. I forgot that in order to love her right or to love someone right in general, I have to learn to love myself right first. And for the second explanation of why I will do it again, simply because it made me a better version of who I was back then. I woke up from the nightmares of my sins. I might not get the forgiveness I’ve always wished for, but at the very least I try so hard every day to stop piling guilt and break the chain. That for me, is the best repentance.

We people, are capable of doing very bad things. But every day we have a chance to make our lives and someone else’s life better. I’m very thankful for what I’ve gone through with them in Singapore and that they are the people who did it to me. They don’t owe me anything or any explanation but I feel like I owe them a chunk of my peace of mind. And for you stranger, I’m not really expecting people to read what I wrote since this is really like a journal but just in case, if you are like who I was and you are feeling a lot of guilt, let me tell you this, darkness can easily sucks you in every time you are able to get a glimpse of the light. But when there is light, there’s warmth. Surround yourself with people who genuinely appreciates what you do or who you are. If you feel like you are not ready to open yourself up to the world, you have yourself to appreciate you. Thank yourself even for the little things you do for you. Imagine talking to your envisioned future self. Tell her/him to see you soon and that you’re working on being her or him. Because no matter how shitty life is, you have a power of choice. You don’t have to dwell in life’s inconsistencies. Just be consistent to yourself. Consistently make sure you get proper sleep, you buy yourself those gadgets you always wanted, invest in yourself or your career, eat the food you were craving last week etc.. Live now, not in the past nor the future. Just now. Nothing beats that warm feeling every day. If you’re back in the dark again, it’s not wrong having another conversation with your envisioned future happy self and apologize that there will be a bit of a delay. This is it for now. Until then. Note: I consider this page as my journal but I’m open to connect with people and share thoughts with them about my story and theirs too.

#singapore #darkest #repentance #cheating #chain

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softtransbf · 2 years

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Do I know how to write endings or really anything that isn't dialogue? No. Have I been able to think about anything other than this concept for the last 24 hours? Also no.

So yeah, here's an 1100 word Quint/Seo-woo ficlet, T for light swearing.

idk i just needed to get it out of my head and into the universe lol

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"And the Grammy goes to... Kang Seo-woo!" The crowd erupted into applause as the singer made his way onto the stage, quieting as he spoke.

"Just being nominated was such an honor, I can't believe this is real. None of it would mean anything without my amazing boyfriend by my side every step of the way. Quint, I love you!" He paused for the briefest of seconds and all but ran off the stage. The applause resumed, more hesitant and confused than before. Not that Seo-woo noticed a single thing beyond the adrenaline of the win and the repeating thought of oh shit what did I just say?

"Quint, I love you!" It was just after midnight, and the words were still echoing in my head. I checked my phone again; still nothing. I could text him. I should text him. The ceremony's been over for almost 2 hours. But what the hell do I say? Congratulate him on the win and pretend like he didn't just come out and say those three damn words for the first time? I certainly can't just text them back...

The doorbell rang, followed shortly by a text notification.

If I know you at all, you're still awake. Please, come to the door, songbird.

Our relationship has been many difficult and uncomfortable things. It's not easy for a homebody with an anxiety disorder and a closeted global superstar to be in a relationship. But it had never been awkward. Not until that moment, standing in my doorway in the middle of the night.

"Hey."

"Hey. Congrats on the win, you totally deserved it."

"Oh, uh, thanks, I really didn't think I was gonna get it." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking down.

"Please, come in, it's cold out." He's been here so many times, what the fuck was that?

I stepped back and led him to the couch. We sat, half facing each other, knees not quite touching. The silence was deafening, but I couldn't think of a single thing to say. Especially since he wouldn't look at me.

A minute or so later, he started talking. "So, um. I said some things. I didn't mean to say them, but I did, and they're things I can't take back. Not that I'd want to, that implies I didn't mean them. Shit, I can't say anything right tonight." I took his hands, which had been fidgeting restlessly since the moment he sat down, and he finally looked up.

"Hey hey hey, take a breath. It's okay. I know what you meant. You knew I'd be up, I know how your mouth gets ahead of your brain sometimes. Let's start with the less weighty part of this, yeah?"

"W- which part is that?"

"You just took a pretty big step out of the closet. How are you feeling about that?" His shoulders visibly relaxed, and he smiled slightly, that half-smile that never fails to make my heart melt.

"Pretty good, actually. You know I've been wanting to for a long time, and it feels good to have that weight off my shoulders. And so far, according to my manager, the response has been overall positive."

"That's fantastic! You know damn well I'm gonna be full on keyboard warrior starting tomorrow against anyone talking shit." I nudged his knees with mine, and he laughed.

"I'd expect nothing else from my number one fan." He leaned forward and ruffled my hair, and we both laughed harder.

"Wait am I technically a sasaeng? I know where you are all the time and know more than any fan should."

He scooted closer, put his arm around my shoulders, and kissed the top of my head. "Given how much time I've spent trying to convince you to come to more of my shows, you definitely aren't stalking me, and there's nothing to know about me that I'm not happy to tell you. You are most definitely not a sasaeng."

"Okay, I feel better." I laughed, and silence fell again. Not as heavy as before, but still very loaded.

"You broke the silence last time, guess it's my turn. I don't... first thing is, was it a heat of the moment thing, or a Thing thing? I know it wasn't a planned thing, but like. Hyperbolic, I guess? There's not a wrong answer, to be clear. I just want to know where you're coming from on that before I say anything else."

I felt, rather than heard or saw, him take a deep breath. He let me go, took my hands, and looked me in the eye. "It's not how I was going to tell you, but yeah, I meant it. I love you. You don't have to say it back, of course. I just... you should know that I mean it. It's not gonna be easy, with my schedule and all, but I will always be there and fight for you and us, whatever happens."

"That's good to hear, because once your fans learn that I love you, too, it's gonna get ugly."

"Hey, I'm sure it won't be that ba-" The smile that grew across his face when the full weight of my words set in was nothing short of the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It only lasted for a moment, though, before he took my face in his hands and kissed me.

Eventually, I pulled away. "Not how you were going to tell me? Implying that you did, in fact, have a plan?" The joke was undercut by my breathlessness, but he blushed and looked down anyway.

"Yeah, um. You know how I'm going into the studio later this week to record the last track for my next album?"

"The mysterious title track you refuse to play for me, unlike every other song you've written since we met?"

"That's the one. I didn't want you to hear it until it was finished and perfect, and then, well... I had a plan. Dinner, roses, the whole nine yards."

I scooted back a little bit and ran my hand through my hair. "Kang Seo-woo. You're telling me right now that the first song the world is going to hear on the follow up to an album that literally won a Grammy a few hours ago is one you wrote just to tell me you love me? You sappy, over the top, dramatic fucking musician. I love you so much."

"Songbird, you're sending very mixed signals. Are you saying that it was a good plan, or...?"

"Let me put it this way. Tell your manger to cancel anything that was on your calendar. It's gonna be at least 24 hours before either of us leaves this house."

#otp: confession

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cursefelled · 3 years

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really LONG CHARACTER SURVEY.

RULES. repost , don’t reblog ! good luck !

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Trevor Cristian Belmont

NICKNAME/S: Cub (as used by his mother)

AGE: 23

BIRTHDAY: August 19th

ETHNIC GROUP: Romanian

NATIONALITY: French Romanian

LANGUAGE/S: Romanian, French, Greek, Gaelic, Breton

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Pansexual (polyamorous)

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Panromantic (polyromantic)

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single (later married to Sypha Belnades)

CLASS: Upper middle class

HOME TOWN / AREA: Born in the valleys of the Bucegi Mountains, south of Brașov at the border between Wallachia and Transylvania.

CURRENT HOME: House Belmont, still located near the Bucegi Mountains

PROFESSION: Monster Hunter

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Long, straight and shoulder length, parted slightly off to the right and a deep rich brown. Smooth in texture, soft and with a lot of shine as well as being thick in volume.

EYES: Pale steel blue, upturned in shape with pronounced and long eyelashes.

NOSE: Straight and relatively narrow, but otherwise average

FACE: Diamond shaped.

LIPS: Slightly downturned lip shape when at rest, slightly more pronounced cupid’s bow

COMPLEXION: Olive in the warmer month when he spends more time in the sun, though generally somewhat fair with a warm undertone.

BLEMISHES: Freckles that cluster on the small of his back and between his shoulder blades

SCARS: A large scar spanning the length of his face on the left hand side, a prominent scar running diagonally from collarbone to the side of his ribs over the right pectoral, and an entry/exit wound scar on his left pectoral and beside his shoulder blade on his back. Numerous other small scars.

TATTOOS: A runic tattoo in the shape of the Othala rune that all Belmonts have to use certain artefacts Leon brought with them into Wallachia.

PIERCINGS: Nipple piercings (post-CoD)

HEIGHT: 6′0″ (185 cm)

WEIGHT: 176 lbs (80 kg)

BUILD: Tall, muscular and lean.

FEATURES: Strong jaw and cheekbones but a rounder, softer chin, strong angular brows.

ALLERGIES: None

USUAL HAIR STYLE: Usually worn down loose, sometimes tied back/up when at work with labor-intensive tasks or it’s too hot to have it down and in or around his face.

USUAL FACE LOOK: Often either stern, cool and focused with slightly furrowed brows, closed lips and an intense gaze or proud, smirking and confident with arched brows and an air of challenge in his expression.

USUAL CLOTHING: When at rest at home, generally just a pair of high waisted pants with a belt and a loose fitting shirt with rolled back sleeves that he wears open on his chest. His hunting outfit as we all know consists of a numerous elaborate parts like chains, belts, thigh-high boots, a shirt with a wide collar and ruffled sleeves, a leather corset/bodice with laces and straps, a cross-body belt and his signature split tail coat.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR/S: His fear used to be that of losing his home and his family when they were driven out of society by the church, fearing worse consequences would come upon them for their perceived wrong-doings. His fear as an adult is that the fickle natures of men might once again twist the fortune of his family to repeat the same mistakes once Dracula is defeated and within the peace that follows, people again forget they had once depended on the Belmonts for safety. He does not want history to repeat again so as that his children will suffer the ostracism that he did.

ASPIRATION/S: To help preserve and cement the Belmont name as one that is honourable and worthy in the eyes of their people, to raise a family of his own to continue the Belmont bloodline and to pursue greater knowledge to add to his family’s archive. He is very interested in learning all varieties of skills and practices to bolster the Belmont’s already impressive collection of writings and wisdoms.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Loyal, generous, courageous, strong-willed, compassionate, protective, intelligent, considerate

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Competitive, stubborn, cocky, brash, hot-tempered, curt, impatient, commanding

ZODIAC: Leo

TEMPERAMENT: Choleric

SOUL TYPE / S: Warrior

ANIMALS: Stallion, bull, wolf, falcon

VICE HABIT/S: Trevor’s largest fault is that he is an adamant fixer. When something is bothering someone he cares about, he has a habit of jumping in to try and solve it or hush up the person’s concerns by telling them what he thinks is the solution or otherwise trying too hard to reassure them that the problem is not as great as it seems. While this is well intentioned, often what the person wants is just to be heard and to reflect on the problem with him, not for Trevor to try to shoot it down as quickly as possible. A someone who often is required to take control of most situations, it can be a little difficult for Trevor to temper his desire to immediately fix a problem rather than letting himself and the person mull over it properly.

FAITH: Catholic

GHOSTS?: Yes.

AFTERLIFE?: Yes

REINCARNATION?: Very likely.

ALIENS?: Maybe?

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: Lawful Good

ECONOMIC PREFERENCE: Despite the opulence of Belmont Manor’s appearance, Trevor lives by considerably humbler means in a lot of his day to day life, hunting and preparing food for himself, helping to make most of the things he and his family need and tending to their livestock and animals himself.

SOCIOPOLITICAL POSITION: N/A

EDUCATION LEVEL: Well and thoroughly educated in several manners of combat and hunting, fluent in a handful of languages while being somewhat competent in others, educated in numerous knightly values and teachings that were passed down from Leon through to his descendants. Efficient with magic and several weapons with some understanding of alchemy.

FAMILY.

FATHER: Living, age 40

MOTHER: Living, age 45

SIBLINGS: None

EXTENDED FAMILY: None that he is aware of

NAME MEANING/S: Trevor translates to “from the large village”, whereas Belmont translates to “beautiful mountains.”

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: Connected to Leon Belmont who was once hailed as the greatest knight in all of France, the historical patriarch to their clan who abandoned his title and knighthood to begin a legacy of vampire hunters.

FAVOURITES.

BOOK: His ancestor’s journals.

MOVIE: He hasn’t had the pleasure.

5 SONGS: 1, Mars by Sleeping at last, 2. Wolf by First Aid Kit, 3. The Valley by The Oh Hello’s, 4. Steel for Humans by Marcin Przybyłowicz, 5. Iron by Woodkid

DEITY: Hades

MONTH: August

SEASON: Summer

PLACE: Mountains, forests, glades, meadows, the observatory of Belmont Manor

WEATHER: Warm and balmy weather in the early summer

SOUND: The sound of birds and wind in the trees, the rivers in the woodland, the sound of the fire crackling in the hearth, conversations from another room.

SCENT/S: Spice, pine, mountain air, cooking, herbs.

TASTE/S: Bold, sharp, whole, rich and savoury flavours.

FEEL/S: Cool hands on his skin, fresh cotton, warm leather, hands in his hair, water running over his hands, caresses to his scars, a breeze through the open window while he lays in bed, sun on his skin.

ANIMAL/S: Dogs and horses

NUMBER: 10

COLOUR: Deep earthy tones, browns, beiges, moss or olive greens, warm greys.

#{ ♰ : OUT OF CHARACTER }#{woo that took the better part of an hour LOL}#{some of this might be subject to change with time BUT WHEEEZE heres some food for thought}#{its still very early into his lifecycle as a muse so obvi not concrete but for now p much where im goin}#{ive had it in my head the belmonts live in a mountainous region or near to one for years SO IM INDULGING MYSELF. AS A TREAT}#{AND YES i know his middle name is meant to be christopher bc they basically mashed the christophers into trevor's chara}#{but like i dont care LOL SO IM RETCONNING IT}

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yoooespinosa · 3 years

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hi! i don't know if you write for cedric diggory but i saw in your post that it could be any pair (and also because i love your writings!!). so if it's okay with you, can i please request cedric x ravenclaw!reader. where the reader feels insecure around ced because she's the new gf and is a bit jealous of cho (because they're both in ravenclaw), so ced comes and reassures her that she has nothing to worry about.

a/n: Thank you for your request! Definitely got off track lol.

Ordinary, that’s how you would describe yourself while looking in the mirror. No matter how many times you pinched your cheeks for a flush, pluck your eyebrows or even lather your face in expensive face masks, you couldn’t help but feel ordinary.

You see a dull girl looking back at your reflection, what could you possibly have to offer?

Bringing your face closer to the other you, you try and look. To look and see what he can possibly see.

No matter how hard you search, you find nothing. You sigh, a pout to your lips.

“What’s wrong?” A gentle voice interrupts your heavy observation. “You’ve been staring at yourself for close to an hour.”

You almost groan, you must look like a weirdo.

You turn to face the girl that was leaning against the door frame that leads into your shared bathroom.

She was beautiful. Everything about her was beautiful, her eyes, her hair, her cheekbones, the shape of her lips, even her voice was beautiful. Cho had to be perfect. It didn’t help that she had such a good heart.

She was so perfect, you wanted to strangle her. How could Cedric, your beautiful boyfriend, go after you when he had a girl like Cho before?

You couldn’t possibly comprehend it.

You open your mouth to answer her, but then cut yourself off. “Nothing important.”

You pass by her concerned gaze, heading to your bed, letting your insecurities run wild once your head hits the pillows.

If you had stayed any longer you might have asked something stupid like, “am i pretty?” and you didn’t need the possibility of your fears being confirmed.

Cedric and Cho had broken up a year ago. They both agreed they were better off as friends. A few months after their breakup, he took a liking to you. He did everything in his power to win your affections, it was easy to fall for him. Cho had been supportive of it too, even helping him woo you.

So you don’t know why you have these doubts, even when your months in with Cedric.

You’re not even sure when you started the comparison of yourself. Always questioning everything you did, ‘Did Cho do this?’ or ‘Did he prefer to do this with Cho, rather than you?’

You even started comparing yourself to all the other girls that still shamelessly flirted with Cedric. Knowing he was taken didn’t seem to stop them. It didn’t help that even they were beautiful. You were scared that maybe one day he’d see it too and leave you for them. Or realize he made a mistake with breaking things off with Cho.

You felt like a shadow compared to him, Cho and every other pretty girl that glanced his way. You felt as if you were watching him live his life, while you sat quietly, watching for a little tell sign of his doubts of you.

But he gave away nothing. He gave you everything though. He gave you his love and you wondered why that wasn’t enough to kill those running thoughts.

He looks at you with nothing but love and admiration in his eyes. Yet, you still tear yourself apart every night. Thinking of solutions on how you can just be better. You pick yourself apart, until your numb.

You fell asleep with the echo of your unanswered why’s.

“Ready?” Cedric asks, taking a hold of your hand.

You hum in agreement, letting him pull you up.

You both just finished lunch and planned on heading to his dorm to hang out there. You hadn’t brought up any of the thoughts that were burning through your skull the other night and you didn’t plan to.

You focused on the path ahead, not noticing the stolen glances from the boy next to you.

Entering his dorm, you both take off your shoes and place them next to the door. You put your bag down and just take in the room. Trying to let the familiar space sooth your nerves.

“You’ve been feeling alright?” He asks, looking at you through his lashes.

“Fine.” Nodding your head, but you think the bags under your eyes speak a different truth.

“Cho’s been telling me that you’ve seemed off,” He paused, then adding “lately.”

You faintly wondered why he said it like that, but inwardly shaking it off as you processed his words.

“You and Cho talk about me?”

You wanted to ask that they talked in general, but you knew they did. You weren’t sure why the thought filled you with a sense of dread, why your chest compacted in with it.

That little voice in your head was making up all these sinful scenarios, flashing before your eyes that you almost felt like you were going to be sick.

“We’re friends,” He says gently, almost like he sees how fragile you are, how one wrong word could be the downfall. “she’s your friend also. And she’s just been a little concerned.”

You chewed on your lip, cutting up your gums, stopping yourself from saying anything you’d regret after. “Nothing to be concerned about.”

He sighs and stares at you for a second longer, it seemed like he was searching for something that you weren’t sure you wanted him to find, so you turn your eyes away.

You heard his footsteps walking to the other side of his bed, followed by the sound of his drawer opening.

“Here,” You looked up to find him holding a brown cable knit sweater, your favorite one he owned.

It brought a small smile to your face, making an ounce of relief flood his chest.

You mumbled your gratitude, then taking your leave to the restroom to change. A shadow fell over his eyebrows, you’d always just change in front of him.

He didn’t linger on the thought for too long once he heard the click of the door and your light footsteps.

You made your way to his bed, gently prying the sheets open and sinking into the warmth. You turned your back towards him, closing your eyes, and letting the sound of the changing of his clothes fill the air.

A dip to the side of you and arms enclosing in on you, dragging you into more warmth. Yet, the coldness in your chest stayed.

You clenched your eyes shut and prayed for sleep. This was your favorite part of day, these naps with Cedric, his dorm room empty and the chance to be alone without anyone in sight to compare yourself to.

But even with his arms around you and the smell of him surrounding the space you were in, didn’t stop the whispers of the troubled.

He must of felt how tense you were, different from the way you so easily melted into him.

“Y/n.” He whispers, you felt him shift behind you, his arms loosening.

You clenched your eyes tighter, trying to even out your breaths, but even you knew that it was not possible to fall asleep that fast.

“Y/n,” He hovers over you a little, looking at your face with an unimpressed expression. “i know you’re not sleeping.”

You unclench your eyes, steeling yourself, for the conversation you knew was bound to happen. Opening your eyes, you met his soft bright ones. His eyes, that spoke everything you wished you’d just believe.

“Yes?” You mumble softly, peeking at him through your lashes.

He stares at you a second longer, then kisses your cheek. “Talk to me.”

“About what?” You were never good at playing oblivious.

“About what’s going on in your head that’s making you look at me like that.”

You furrow your eyebrows, “Looking at you, like what?”

“Like i’m a stranger,” He mumbles sadly. “like i’m someone you should be wary of.”

Guilt washed over you, you didn’t know you were so translucent. You never wanted Cedric to be affected by the problems you were inflicting on yourself.

“That’s not true.” An obvious lie.

“It is.” He corrects you. “You can talk to me, you know that right? We’ll never fix anything, if you don’t talk to me.”

He was right, no matter how much you didn’t want to talk about this. You knew you needed to at some point. And it was looking as if that time was now.

“I just-“ You tried again. “Do you ever have, i don’t know, doubts?”

“Doubts?” You turn so your laying on your back now, him still half hovering over you. “About what?”

“Like,” A long sigh escapes past your lips, unwilling. “Do you ever regret getting with me?”

He gapes at you, almost looking offended of the question. “Why would you even ask that?” He sits up, causing you to follow.

“I don’t kn-“

“Do you think i regret it?” He rephrases, “Do i make it seem like regret it?”

Every scenario of him and you together flashes in blurs through your head and no he didn’t, the opposite actually. He looked at you as if you were the sun, as if you were brighter than the sun.

“No.” You mumble weakly, ashamed that even that revelation didn’t seem to dampen your insecurities.

“Then i’m confused on what brought this on.”

“Why are you with me, when you can be with someone as beautiful as Cho.” You meant for it to come out as a question, but it sounded like a statement.

Maybe you did mean to say it like that, it’s what you believed, the only thing you weren’t questioning the truth of.

You hear him get up and you feel as if your heart stopped beating. This is it, this was what you were preparing yourself for, you thought to yourself. Eyes already blurring.

Then a warm hand in yours, pulling you up. You stumble a little, but he steadies you, always keeping you grounded. Next thing you know he’s dragging you along to the bathroom. Confusion is clear on your face.

“What?” You mumble more to yourself.

He brings you in front of the mirror, the full body length one in the corner of the room. He stands behind you, towering over your smaller frame.

“Look at yourself.” He demands softly, when you don’t cast your eyes away from his.

You oblige, catching your own eyes. You furrow your eyebrows.

“What are you thinking about right now?” He asks, his hands ghosting over your waist.

“How could you possibly love me when i can’t even love myself?”

He looked pained by your words, that you could even have those thoughts.

“I’ll love you enough for the both of us.”

You give him a weak smile, “It doesn’t work like that.”

“Then i’ll help you love yourself.” He adds, desperately. “I’ll make you see what’s to love about you.”

He grips you harder, taking away the response you had.

“Look,” Because your eyes had ventured to his once again.

His thumbs brushed over your body, the side of your face, until they landed under your eyes. Covering the dark circles from view, he smoothed them out gently.

“Your eyes,” He began softly. “they have to be the most captivating eyes i’ve ever seen. They were the first thing i noticed about you, the first thing that pulled me in.”

His fingers brushed over your nose, curving in with it.

“This adorable nose,” He pinches it softly. “home to the freckles i could spend all my time counting.”

He brushed over your cheeks, leaving a pink blush. His fingers stopped at your lips.

“Have to be the most kissable lips out there.” He drags your bottom lip down with his thumb. “I could spend hours just kissing you, these lips.”

His knuckles brush over your neck.

“Where else am i supposed to leave my marks that show everyone your mine?”

He spends an hour at least, going through why he loved every feature about you. Talking about the way you bewitched him with your looks, with your heart.

“Can’t you see how you’re the cause of my euphoria?” His chin was resting on your shoulder, his eyes burning into yours, you never felt more loved than right now.

Those whispers dimmed in comparison to his loving words.

His hands were still roaming slowly over you, like he couldn’t get enough, you were sure he couldn’t get enough.

“What do you see?” He whispers, once your eyes take yourself in again.

“I see-“ You think for a second, really think. “I see potential.”

Potential to love yourself. Potential to accept the love he gave you. Potential to feel worthy to have him. Potential to see that he picked you.

And from then, every so often he would drag you to the mirror and do it again. Adding something new each time.

Until potential turned to beauty. Undeniable beauty. Until the whispers were nothing more than the self assured.

#cedric diggory #cedric x you #cedric fanfiction #cedric x y/n #cedric x reader #cedric diggory x reader #cedric diggory x you #cedric diggory x female reader #cedric diggory fluff #cedric diggory fanfiction #cedric diggory fic #cedric diggory smut #cedric diggory oneshot #cho chang #ravenclaw #lexi’s fics ◡̈

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strawb3rryw00 · 3 years

Text

Late Night ♡ woo wonjae x female reader

warnings -> swearing

synopsis -> y/n works hard in her studio day and night and begins to worry her boyfriend who works right next door.

fluff and some suggestive shit.

also there’s a little bit of jay park x reader in here too

~♡~

4:25 am.

You let out a long sigh, slamming your computer shut after listening to your track. You had recently joined AOMG as their youngest member. You were a prodigy, having only been rapping for a year when Jay saw you performing at a small show just two years ago. No one in the company had a doubt in your skill, all of them praising you highly on the single you released after joining.

But you were a perfectionist. And you were determined to prove to everyone that your talent was undeniable. You were labeled as the hidden ace of AOMG by a magazine company after a special performance at one of Simon D’s concerts.

Your lyrical abilities and flow were unmatched by most artists in the game. You had a unique musical and physical style which caused you to have a large fan base, doubling in size when AOMG confirmed your relationship with Woo Wonjae, another artist under the label.

You were featured on his album, his fans becoming yours after hearing your talent paired with his.

But that only made you put more pressure on yourself.

You’ve locked yourself in your studio for days on end. Wanting to get your first full length album utterly perfect for your fans, the company, and yourself. You’ve gone days without sleeping or eating, earning the worry of your label mates.

Just three hours ago Jay was in your space lecturing you. He made sure to take care of every artist under him, checking up on them despite his busy schedule. While having two companies and multiple rappers and vocalists under his labels, you were the one he was always most worried about.

“Y/N man,” He spoke to you casually in english. “I love your drive and effort, but you need to go home sometime tonight.”

You frowned, pausing your song you had played. “But Jay,” You rolled up your sleeves and exposed your tattooed arms. “I’m just trying-“

“I know what you’re trying to do.” Jay cut you off, his tone a little harsh. He hated talking to you like that, but it’s what you needed. “Your friends? They snitch on you. Especially your little boy next door,” He referred to Wonjae, who was probably working away in his studio as well.

Since your boyfriend was also an artist, he understood your mindset and left you alone due to your request. Of course you guys still talked and spent time together, yet it was minimal during this time.

“I should not have to hear that you’re in here day and night. I gave you the full fucking luxury studio as a gift, thinking you’d take care of yourself. But youre basically living here. The shower is for occasional late nights y/n,” Jay furrowed his eyebrows at you, standing up and sighing. “I’ll force you to move to a smaller one, don’t think I wont.”

Jay opened his arms for you to stand up and hug him, which you did. He held you tightly, resting his head on yours and sighing again. “You stress me out. I better hear that you’ve gone home by tomorrow afternoon.” He says sternly, pulling away and looking at you.

“And you better fucking eat babe,” He always spoke to you in a friendly manner but it was never flirty. He genuinely cared for you and the other artists. And it was normal for you both to use babe in a casual manner. Despite his lecturing and the wide age gap, you both were very good friends.

“I will,” You smiled at him, pulling your phone out to find something to order.

He exits your studio and you sigh, sitting down on the couch you added. Your studio felt more like home than your apartment. You decorated it as such, even adding a cat tower for when you have your feline roomie with you, which is usually always because you don’t like leaving the ginger cat alone all the time.

After he left you went back to working diligently. You had finished three songs in the five months you’ve been working on the album. You didn’t have an actual deadline but you knew your fans were waiting. You had several features you wanted on this album as well. Hoody has been waiting for you to finish your part of this song so she can add her magical vocals to it. But you hadn’t quite found what you were missing from it.

Your phone lit up, a message from Jay on it. ‘I have your location ma’am’ The message read, earning a laugh from you.

‘lol’ you respond, setting your phone back down. You look at your lock screen and smile. It’s a picture of you and Woo that a fan took of you both performing on stage together. It was the first time you performed with him after it being confirmed you both were dating. In the picture you’re rapping to the crowd, squatted down a little and Wonjae is looking at you with the happiest look plastered on his face.

At the thought of your lover you decide it’s time to take a break. You get up and stretch, hearing your back pop, slipping back on your slides. You tend to stay in your socks while working, it’s more comfortable to you.

You walk out the studio and next door, smiling as you read your boyfriends name on the door. You walk in without knocking, knowing he never minds.

He’s in the booth, rapping his verse to Kunst, who looks at you with tired eyes. You stand behind his chair, resting your hands on his shoulders and giving them a slight squeeze while listening to your boyfriend.

You could listen to him rap all day. His deep voice was so beautiful in your ears. “Are you about to leave?” Kunst asks you. “Jay told us to make sure you leave.”

You shake your head. “Not yet.” You say, earning a sigh from the taller male.

Wonjae exits the booth, his eyes lighting up when he sees you. “Ahh finally taking a break mm?” His arms wrap around your shoulders and pull you close. You inhale his scent, closing your eyes in comfort. He doesn’t let you go, and holds you while talking to his friend.

“Imma head out, you did good.” Kunst gets his things together and pats you on the head before wishing you both farewell and leaving.

Wonjae kisses the top of your head and yawns. “Let’s eat baby,” He says softly. You nod and slide your hands under his shirt and run your fingers along his back, his favorite thing.

“I missed you,” You say into his chest, still with your eyes closed. He chuckles, his hand resting on the back of your neck while his fingers play with the few pieces of hair that fall from your bun.

“I missed you too, you been busy huh?” He pulls away slightly to look down at you. You meet his eyes and give him a tired smile which he returns.

“Yea you could say that.” He laughs at your answer which is music to your ears.

Now having been in his arms you don’t want to return to your studio for the day. You really did miss him but work is very important to you.

Wonjae sits down in the chair his friend was occupying previously and pulls you into his lap. Your legs hang over one arm while your back rests against the other. You lean into him, his arms sliding around you once more and pulling you closer. You tuck your head into his neck and relax to the sound of his deep breaths.

“It’s almost 6 am,” Wonjae hums, his fingers tracing the outlines of the tattoos on your exposed arm. “I’m tired.” He sighs. You know he’s hinting that you guys should leave, especially after Jay having said something.

“Me too,” You admit, placing a gentle kiss on his jaw and yawning. “Let’s go.” You add, reluctantly leaving his lap.

He stares at you a little shocked. “You’re finally listening huh? I’m impressed.” He stands up as well, laughing when you hit his arm.

“Go get your things jagi,” He waves you off.

After getting your things and your kitty, you lock up your studio and meet by his while he locks up as well. He smiles at you, sliding his bag on his shoulders and wrapping his arm around your shoulders while you both make your way to the parking garage.

“Let’s go get some early food and then go to my place yea?” Wonjae offers, guiding you to his car. “Ron can come with us and play with my babies,” He refers to your cat that you named after the ginger wizard.

You nod, getting in the passenger seat in his car and setting Ron on your lap. You inhale the comforting smell of his car, not having been in his car nor outside for a week now.

Wonjae drives down the empty road to a restaurant near his apartment that’s open early on weekdays. His hand rests just above your knee, his index finger reaching out to pet the cat on your lap. “No work talk today.” He says, looking at you as he parks. “You’re taking a break.” You smile, loving how he already knows how you are.

After you fill your stomachs, you’re on the way to his home. Even more tired now that you’ve ate. Once parked, he grabs his bag as well as yours and leads you into the building and up to his apartment. Unlocking the door, he rests his hand on your back to usher you in where you set Ron down while slipping your feet out of your shoes.

Ron immediately mingles with Wonjae’s three cats who make their way over to the two of you, the four of them following you to Wonjae’s room.

“Do you want to shower with me?” Wonjae asks softly, cupping your cheek into his hand and rubbing the pad of his thumb along the bone. You lean into his touch, kissing his palm. “Yes please.”

“Okay, I’ll go start it.” He rushes to the bathroom and you hear the water being started. You undress yourself, throwing the clothes in the basket he has in the corner of his room. Once you’re completely stripped you push open the bathroom door where you see Wonjae beginning to take off his clothes as well.

After sliding off his shirt he looks at you and smirks. “Mmm,” He hums, pulling you closer to him by your hips. “I missed looking at this.” He leans down and places a kiss on your neck, licking a stripe to your ear and flicking your lobe with the tip of his tongue. It sends a shiver down your spine, your eyes closing in bliss.

He knows your body like the back of his hand, he cherishes every piece of you. He looks at you, smiling. “I’ll fuck you later,” He kisses your lips, lingering for a moment before pulling away.

He finishes undressing and you both get into the shower. He hugs you under the warm water much like he did while you were in his studio but this time it’s much more intimate due to the skin to skin contact. Your breasts press against him, head tucked into his neck. The warm water cascades down your body, causing you to grow tired.

After you both wash up, you find yourself clad in his hoodie and sweats that are just a little big. Wonjae waits for you on the bed, the four cats finding their way to join him. He lays on his back, scrolling through his phone.

You crawl into the bed, snuggling into his side with your head resting on his shoulder. He immediately puts his phone down and rolls over on his side to wrap his arms around you too pull you closer. You feel him breathing in your scent, his legs pushing to get in between yours.

“Jay isn’t letting you back into the studio until tomorrow and I’m forcing you to lay with me all day .” Wonjae mumbles.

You laugh a little, feeling grateful to have such caring people in your life. “Your album can wait for a day. I’ve missed you.” He adds, pulling you even closer to him.

You both fall silent, your eyes closing. You’ve never felt more content and comfortable than how you do now. You feel one of the cats snuggle into your back and purr against you.

“Wonjae,” You began, earning a hum from the half asleep man. “I love you,”

His hand slides under your shirt and gently scratches your back. “I love you.” He says, resting his hand on the small of your back.

You find yourself slowly falling asleep. You know you’re going to be asleep for the whole day and you’re honestly looking forward to it. Especially with Wonjae and the cats.

He’s right, your album can wait.

~♡~

lol i had to write another for wonjae. it’s so hard for me to find fics for him so i jus been writing my own.

#woo wonjae fluff #woo wonjae #aomg woo #aomg reactions #aomg drabbles #aomg imagines #aomg scenarios #woo fluff #woo wonjae smut #woo wonjae scenarios #woo wonjae drabbles #woo wonjae imagines #woo wonjae x reader #woo wonjae tattoos #aomg x reader

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shyficwriter · 3 years

Text

You're Not Broken, Ya Hear Me?

Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Yondu x Reader, guest starring Peter and other Ravagers

Summary: Based off a prompt from my friend @giulscomix where Reader is coming up on a rite of passage involving having her first sexual experience and is very nervous because she doesn't wish to partake, because she's just not interested in sex at all. (i.e: Reader is Ace or Demi) She opens up to Yondu about it after he finds her hidden away and crying about it and he helps her with her problem, making her realize she isn't broken. Inspired by and using lines from this scene in Netflix's Sex Education series.

Author’s Note: Fic is SFW. Sex is talked about (obviously), but no sexual scenes occur. This also takes place in an AU where Yondu never broke the code (yet still has Peter, make that make sense lol) and therefore was never exiled from the other Ravager clans. Also, this is a long one, probably should have broken it into chapters, but here we go lol

Word Count: 10,189

The nervousness inside you grew with every passing day. You were almost seventeen- you should be happy about this! Not filled with dread about what turning that particular year would mean. You glanced at the calendar from your bed. Only three days left.

There was a rite of passage that every young man had taken before you, and would take long after you. They all whooted for joy when their time came, but you couldn't find the enthusiasm to do so, although you did your best to fake it. And as the day grew closer, the more you had to fake it.

Maybe it was because you were the only female Ravager on Yondu's team? Or maybe that had nothing to do with it. Maybe you were just... broken? Why couldn't you just be excited about this like everyone else? That thought made your chest ache as you pulled on your boots.

You didn't want to do it, this stupid rite of passage. No, it wasn't exactly like you'd be forced into a room until you "did the deed," However, you knew to refuse would be to cement your reputation as a lame prude who wouldn't know fun if it crawled up her ass. But still, you really didn't want to.

After all, who would want their first time to just be some random fuck for the sole purpose of "Becoming a man/woman" and an "official part of the crew."? Yes, you wanted more than anything to be accepted, like Peter or the others, but you wanted your first time to be with someone you loved and cared for. Now, this isn't to say that you weren't currently a respected member of the crew, but things were just... different. You knew things would change if the others knew you didn't want to go through with it. You'd be less "one of the guys" and more "the chick with the stick up her butt." You didn't want that.

You stood and took a deep breath, readying your facade before leaving your quarters to make your way down to breakfast.

As always, there were many other Ravagers also making their way from the crew quarters down to the mess hall. And, just how it had started happening the closer it got to that dreaded date, you'd encounter someone looking to congratulate you with a clap on the back, saying things like, "Ayy! How many days is it now? Bet ya can't wait, huh?" or more often, high-fives and fist bumps as your crew mates cheered you on for your upcoming "big day."

You took it all in stride, just like every other day. Big smiles, return the high-five, maybe throw in some finger guns, toss in an affirmative and that you "couldn't wait."

But each time you died just a bit inside. How long could you put on this charade? You knew you wouldn't be able to go through with it. What was going to happen then? What would the rest of the crew say when they found out? Normally it wouldn't be such a big deal for so long, when other guys came of age it was usually forgotten by the others after a few days. However, you were going to come of age the very day of the next scheduled shore leave, which was going to happen in just a few days, and for some reason this just bred excitement among your peers and they wouldn't drop it.

You tried to put these thoughts out of your head as you entered the Mess Hall and got your breakfast.

Today you got to eat in relative peace, the attention being taken up by the story Narblik was telling about his last job on an icy planet and how he hadn't been sure he'd make it back when the blizzard hit. It was when you got up to turn in your tray and leave when a few other's started back up again.

Scrote whooped when he saw you stand, crying out a "Get 'em!" at you and someone else shouted back that you were "Gonna be a man!" until someone shouted back at them "She's a girl!" earning an apology and a correction that you were "Gonna be a woman!" that earned some laughter from the others. You knew the laughter wasn't directed at you, they weren't insulting your looks. Some species on the ship just had a hard time getting genders right because the concept of gender just wasn't a thing on their homeworlds.

You passed Horuz and a young green man named Rahi who high-fived you with an "Ayyy!" as was becoming the custom greeting for anyone wanting to congratulate you on it being almost your big day. You returned the greeting. He had just turned 17 three days before along with another young man he often ran around with, and you heard him talking with some others (There were about 5 or 6 of you all either about to turn the big 17 or who recently had since the last shore leave 3 months ago. It was an abnormally large amount of young people coming of age this time around, which you suspected was further reason why some were making such a bigger deal about this upcoming shore leave.) about being excited for shore leave, as that's when they'd be able to 'become men,' aka, would be able to find a whore to screw. Younger crew often had more of the cleaning jobs aboard the Eclector, and unless assigned with an older crew mate, didn't get to go on many away missions where they could try and woo a willing partner, and even then, Yondu liked quick turnarounds on jobs so there wasn't a whole lot off "goof off" time without being reprimanded. There was no real rule about screwing crew mates either, but most avoided it just in case things got weird after. Easier to just bang someone random on shore leave and then get back to work. No muss no fuss.

Horuz teasingly asked if you had any studs picked out yet and you just laughed and said "Ha, one of these lot? You're joking!" as you put your tray away.

You heard Yondu playfully scold the two from a couple tables over, telling them, "Oh, leave the poor girl alone, yer embarrassin' her!" as he laughed. Horuz just shouted back, "Aw now, I didn't even get to tell her about Oblo here's first time!" This was met with Oblo, who was sitting nearby, choking out a "Hey!" and punching Horuz in the arm.

Kraglin laughed now, "I think she's already heard that one! Let's not ruin anyone's meal now."

You shivered. You had heard the story before. It involved a broken member and many stitches. You weren't looking forward to hearing it again. "I'm out!" you say, looking for a way out of this conversation. "Got work to do." With that you turned and started to leave the mess hall.

"That's what I like to hear!" Yondu laughed from behind you. "Some of you lazy gits should start acting like her, don't wanna work unless yer told to." He knew you were just escaping having to hear the story again, but he wasn't going to miss an opportunity to razz up some of his crew.

You finally make your way out of the mess hall and allow your grin to fall. You run a hand over your face, making your way toward the laundry where you had been assigned to repair one of the machines. You were grateful it was both early in the week as well as early in the day as you entered the room. Most of the crew waited until they were completely out of clean clothes to do their washings, which typically resulted in most of the crew crowding the laundry at the end of the week, so you were sure to have at least an hour or three alone to yourself.

You made your way to the back left-hand corner of the room towards the broken machine. It should be an easy fix, the complaint was that it wasn't draining properly, so you figured it was just a clogged drain hose.

Upon opening up the machine you found you were right. it was just a clog. You retrieved a plumbing snake from a nearby supplies trunk and got to work fishing it out. Unfortunately this menial task gave you enough time to dwell on your problems rather than engaging your brain enough to force them into the back of your mind.

You kept thinking the word "broken" over and over. You couldn't get it out of your head how you couldn't bring yourself to just be excited over something everyone else seemed to love.

Your chest tightened. "Broken.. Loser..." Why couldn't you get over it? Why didn't you have these feelings like all the others?

You latched onto the clog and worked to pull it out. "

Broken..." Why was this so hard? "Broken... Stupid... Wrong..." What was wrong with you? "Stupid... Broken..." Why couldn't you just be like everyone else?!

With that last thought you pulled the clog out with an audible "Pop!" that almost made you fly backwards. You looked at it in disgust and dropped it into the nearby trashcan before re-attaching the hose and sliding down to the floor. No one was going to show up to the laundry this early, might as well take advantage of this time to wallow in your own misery.

That's what you told yourself at least. In truth you could feel tears burning your eyes and didn't want anyone to see you cry. Better to let it happen alone than risk another crew mate seeing you and thinking you were weak.

What you didn't know was that Yondu was also well aware of his Ravager crew's laundry habits, and took advantage of the empty communal laundry room at the beginning of the week to wash his own laundry undisturbed. He made his way down after breakfast, actually having forgotten he had assigned you to fix one of the machines, and was therefore quite surprised to walk in on you sat in the corner crying.

"What d'we have here?" he asked, more puzzled than anything. He never once seen you cry, which now that he thought about it was rather surprising. He saw grown men cry at least twice a week, most of them Peter, but still. He tried to cover up any concern with humor. "Did Halfnut leave his dirty drawers in the machine again? Smell's bad enough to make anyone cry."

You had been startled when he first walked in and you were currently trying to quickly straighten yourself up. "Nothing. Sorry Captain." you said, not looking him in the eye as you bent down to pick up the plumbing snake. "Nearly done here." you say, unable to hide a sniffle.

Yondu plopped his laundry basket on one of the long steel tables running up the middle of the room and sighed, turning to walk towards the door.

You look up in surprise as you heard the lock engage.

He looked at you, arms crossed, and said, "Ya really think I'm gonna buy that? Yer not leaving here until ya spill it. Now what's wrong? Somebody bein' mean to ya? Yer feminine-ly cycle -or whatever it's called- hurtin' ya again?"

You blushed and gave him a sharp look before placing the plumbing snake back where you found it.

Yondu rolled his eyes as he moved his basket over to a machine and tossed his clothes in. "Fine, be that way. But I meant what I said. Ya ain't leavin' til we sort it out. Might as well talk or it's gonna get mighty borin' in here." He turned on the machine and hoisted himself up to sit on the table, patting the space beside him.

You begrudgingly approach, not meeting his eyes, and lifted yourself up to sit down on the table.

"Now what's wrong?" he said again.

You fix your gaze on your lap and sigh. "You're just gonna make fun of me." You say sadly.

Yondu smirks. "Maybe. Still wanna hear it though." Upon seeing your face fall further he elbowed you and said, "I'm jus' kiddin'! What's the long face?"

Your eyes remain down and you quietly say, "I... don't wanna do it."

Yondu raises an eyebrow. "What?"

"I don't wanna do it." you repeat.

"Ya dun wanna do... what?" he asks in confusion. He at first assumed maybe you didn't want to do your assigned morning task of fixing the machine, but it seemed like you had already finished it, so he had no idea what you could possibly mean to even begin to be angry for any disobeyed orders. Also, he doubted he found you crying over something as silly as not wanting to fix a washing machine.

"It," you say, "You know, IT." you make a crude gesture with your fingers, forming a circle in one hand with your thumb and index finger and inserting the index finger of your other hand in and out of it, to hopefully get the point across.

Yondu's eyes widen a bit. "Oh!" he says in surprise, before continuing in confusion, "I don't get it? Ya seemed just as excited as could be a bit ago?"

"I've been faking it. Don't want the others to make fun of me."

"Come now! They won't ma-"

He's cut off by you giving him another sharp look. He looks forward again and nods, sighing, "Yeah, yer right. They will."

The two of you were quiet for a couple moments before Yondu awkwardly broke the silence. "Ya mind if I ask why? Like are ya scared or somethin'?" he looks at you with a raised eyebrow, slight concern painting his features.

He remembered his first time. As a battle-slave he didn't exactly see much action; the Kree weren't exactly fond of the idea of their battle-slaves reproducing or having any fun; and by the time Stakar freed him he was in his twenties. It was shortly after when with some other young Ravagers that the subject came up and he admitted he had never done it, only for his mates to excitedly cheer that they were taking him with them on shore leave so he could "become a man." He had been nervous, though he never expressed it out loud, not wanting to appear weak. He knew they meant well, but screwing a random whore just to fit-in and say he had wasn't something he had exactly been looking forward to, however peer pressure had encouraged him to go through with it. It wasn't too bad, he realized, but even knowing that he himself had come to enjoy the act, he always remembered the knot in his stomach leading up to his first time, and hearing you say that you might be scared of doing it made a similar knot form, only higher in his chest and feeling more like... pity? No, that wasn't quite it. Empathy? Yes, that was probably more accurate. Damn sentiment.

"It's not anything like that... it's just... I don't feel anything like that. I'm not even sure I'd know what that feeling is. It's just not there. I'm not scared, or even disgusted, I just feel... nothing."

"I'm not sure I follow..." Yondu said honestly. He supposed you feeling nothing was better than you being scared, but he still didn't quite understand.

"Ok, like, imagine you're surrounded by a feast, with everything you could ever want to eat, but you're not hungry. That's how I feel. I just don't want any of it," you said. Your voice cracked as you continued, "...and it's just so frustrating. Everyone else gets to be normal, while I just don't feel... anything. I don't want to do it-with anyone. When I think about it I feel nothing- it's like I'm broken." You covered your mouth, still not meeting Yondu's gaze as you tried to hold back frustrated tears.

Hearing you say that you thought you were broken tore at Yondu's heart. He wrapped an arm around you tightly and said in a firm voice, "Ya listen here. Yer not broken. I don't wanna hear that again. Look here."

You reluctantly do as he asks.

"Yer not broken," he said again, his face stern. "Sex doesn't make a person whole, so how could ya ever be broken, girl?"

You inhaled sharply as fresh tears pricked at your eyes. You hadn't realized until then that that was exactly what you needed to hear. You quickly wrap your arms around him, burying your face in his chest to hide your tears.

Taken aback at he sudden gesture, Yondu patted you on the back comfortingly and returned the hug. Good thing he locked the door. He doubted that any of his crew would be bothered to wash their clothes this early, but still, it would halt the possibility of new rumors that he was "going soft on the Terrans." He honestly wasn't sure he'd sleep tonight if he had to scold you for crying to save face with his crew right now.

You pulled back almost as soon as you went in, straightening up and quickly wiping your eyes.

"Feel better?"

You nodded.

Yondu sighed, "What to do now..." he said thoughtfully. "Ya know, I never actually liked this whole 'rite of passage' thing, to be fully honest. Crew just gets too wound up. Yer not the first to have reservations 'bout it. Handful of lads have come to me over the years, confiding that they were nervous, but scared of being bullied by the rest of the crew if they didn't go through with it. I suspect there might have been more, but were too scared of lookin' weak to tell their captain. I guess I can understand that."

Surprised by this honesty, you asked, "What did they do?"

"Faked it. They'd go on shore leave, pay a whore to put on a good loud show, yelling and banging on the walls 'n stuff, then lap up the congratulations of the rest of the crew for 'becoming a man.'"

You were further surprised that any of the the crew would have been that open with their captain to admit faking it. "Really?" you ask. "They told you about it after?"

"Who d'ya think told 'em to do it?" Yondu said, huffing a laugh out his nose.

That makes you smile, though you aren't quite sure why. After a moment of thought you say, "If you don't like the whole thing, why don't you stop it?"

Yondu sighed. "I don't think I could if I tried. It's widespread over all 100 Ravager factions. Doubt it do well to tell one faction they couldn't participate. Enough of them look forward to it they'd probably riot." Yondu laughed sardonically. "Not that I haven't thought about trying to steer the culture around it in a different direction. I can tell some of my older crew have the same thoughts, even if they won't admit it."

"How do you know if they never said?" you asked.

"The way they keep passing off horror stories as funny tales to the younger crew. Or did ya miss the story about how Vorker-"

"Nope! Heard it!" you cut him off suddenly. "I remember! I don't need to hear it again, please!" You held up your hands almost as if defending yourself from hearing it again, eyes wide. You most definitely did not need to hear a retelling of the time Vorker caught something very nasty off a girl he met on a job and the details that came with it. There were some rumors that it was how he really lost his eye, but you weren't sure of the truth behind those claims.

Yondu chuckled, patting you on the back. His expression changed when he said. "That's prob'ly what ya should do."

You raised an eyebrow at him.

"Fake it, I mean." he clarified. "Ya should wait til ya want to do it, with someone ya want, if that should ever happen. Not just go through with it to fulfill some dumbass rite of passage." He stared off into the space in front of him. "I can't really see another way to go 'bout it." he admitted. "If I called out for a change among the crew now they'd no doubt see the connection, think I was going soft 'cause yer the only girl here, and then it'd blowback on you. I ain't gonna let that happen." He gave you a look that you understood without him having to explain further. He actually cared about you, in a way similar to how he cared for Peter. He didn't want to see you hurt or bullied over something stupid like this.

You nodded in understanding, returning your gaze to the floor.

"Next shore leave is in a few days. I'll take care of it." Yondu said, his words surprising you.

"What?"

"Consider it a gift." he said, lightly punching you in the arm as he said, "Don't say I never gave ya anythin'."

"I don't understand?" you say, lightly laughing in confusion.

Yondu dramatically rolled his eyes and said, "Guess I gotta spell it out fer ya... I'll arrange for a "fake visit" from a nice whore-bot for ya. It actually costs more for them to fake it, if ya can believe it."

You stared at him, speechless. "I- thank you?" you finally say, blushing. You give him another quick hug.

"Ya, don't get used to it." he replied in his usual gruff fashion when you released him, but you knew better. The old softie.

Just then the machine buzzed, alerting that Yondu's clothes were finished washing. He stood from the table to switch them into a nearby dryer. Once done he turned back to face you. "Well, ya probably got other duties ya need to get to. Better get on 'em."

You smiled, giving him a mock-reluctant, "Yeah," before following him to the door.

You weren't expecting what happened next.

Yondu opened the door and exited, you following out behind. The hallway was no longer empty, and you heard the same young man from earlier, Rahi, call out from a group of two other Ravagers, "Ow Ow! Looks like she finally lost it to the Captain!"

No doubt he thought he was being funny, but he really, really, shouldn't have done that.

Yondu's whistle pierced the air, his arrow quickly finding its way to rest against Rahi's throat. "Ya wanna try that again?" Yondu growled.

Rahi couldn't find any words, just babbled out incoherent nonsense as he nearly shit his pants. The other two Ravagers in the group weren't laughing, just cowering with their friend afraid they'd be next once Yondu finished with him. Other crew mates standing within the hall also stopped to stare in stunned silence.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't run my arrow through ya for speakin' to yer captain like that? Even worse offense for implying I'd screw around with a child." Yondu's eyes were dark and full of rage. Even you were a bit frightened, enough to almost let the child comment slide, and you weren't even the target.

"Dude! He's so old! Ew!" you shout over to the terrified young Ravager, hoping to help the situation by making it clear that nothing like that was ever going to be a thing. And, if you were to be honest, slight payback for Yondu calling you a child.

Yondu whipped his head around to you, and you caught a momentary expression of "You little shit!" before he said, "And don't ya forget it!"

He turned back to Rahi. "I'm waiting." he said, still glowering and crossing his arms expectantly.

Rahi was still busy freaking out. It looked like he was about to cry. He eventually managed to squeak out a, "I'm sorry!" among his pleas for Yondu not to kill him.

Yondu called back his arrow. "That's what I thought. For yer smart mouth you and the other two there are gonna wash the outside of the Eclector, and yer all gonna keep at it until the whole ship's clean." With a smug smile he added. "Guess yer all gonna miss out on shore leave."

This obviously didn't go over well with Rahi's friends, who were now glaring and smacking him at the back of his green head. The next shore leave after the upcoming one wouldn't happen for another 3 months.

"Ya heard me. Git going. And yer still all responsible fer yer other duties too." Yondu added.

The three young men begrudgingly started making their way past when Yondu stopped them again with an, "Ah, Ah, Ah." making them turn back, dreading what else he might have to add.

"I think ya better apologize to this young lady too, for thinking she'd want her first time to be with someone so old." He looked at you pointedly as he said this and you squinted back at him, a nervous giggle escaping your throat as you rubbed the back of your head. Shouldn't have spoke up and called your captain old, now he was going to have to make an example of you as well for mouthing off. "Yer gonna be cleaning out the brig for that one, missy." he said, loud enough for everyone else to hear. Had to make it look good, after all.

Rahi muttered out an apology before scurrying away with his now very irritated mates, but not before Yondu cried out after him with a, "I'm startin' to think some of ya are gettin' a lil' too wound up about this lil' rite of passage among ya young-ins. It'd sure be a shame if you were the reason I decided to put an end to it." He said this with a thick veil of warning. It was a threat, and one you hadn't expected to hear after the conversation you just had with him.

It was clear that no one else in hallway had expected to hear this from their captain either. Looks of shock were exchanged among the Ravagers in the hallway. Rahi and his buddies' eyes all widened in shock when his words finally sunk in and their scurry turned into a sprint to get away before they could make things even worse. That comment Rahi made had apparently pissed the captain off bad.

"What the rest of ya staring at?" Yondu said, startling the rest of the hallway dwelling crew into motion. "I know ya'll got shit to do, get on it!" He looked at you and cocked his head as if to say "Get moving." and you obeyed, making your way toward the brig to complete your extra cleaning duties.

Yondu did his best to hide a smirk as he made his way down to his quarters. He knew rumors would start spreading like wildfire about Rahi nearly causing Yondu to put an end to the rite of passage after that display. It was bound to piss more than a few of the younger crew off. He didn't care much for the lazy shit anyway, so it was better the crew think he was the reason for any upcoming changes rather than you, and if it succeeded in helping him end the whole culture around that particular thing, even better. They really did get too wound up about it.

***

The morning of shore leave came and you were nervous as hell. Yondu had pulled you aside the night before to let you know he had taken care of what he promised, and described the whore-bot he paid to help you fake it so you would know which one to accept. Still, even knowing it was taken care of you couldn't help the growing pit of nervousness in your stomach, though you did your best to hide it.

Since clearly the Eclector couldn't dock on the planet, being about a mile and a half long and all, Ravagers on shore leave would pool together on M-ships for the journey to and back, kind of like a funny buddy-system.

As per usual, you pooled in a ship with Yondu, Kraglin, and Peter along with Tullk, Oblo, and Horuz. Yondu and Kraglin sat up front to pilot, Tullk, Oblo and Horuz filled in the middle, while you and Peter got put in the back, as always.

While the older men laughed and carried on in front of you, you felt Peter nudge you in the arm. You looked over to see him looking at you with a raised eyebrow. "You ok?" he asked, having noticed how you were unusually quiet and fidgety.

"Yeah, I'm great." you lied, "Never better."

Peter rolled his eyes with a knowing smile. "Don't give me that. Are ya nervous?" he asked, obviously knowing full well what everyone expected you'd be doing on this shore leave. "You can tell me. I won't tell anyone."

You gave him a look, saying, "No!" before coming clean with a, "Fine. A little." as you turned your gaze down into your lap to fidget with your watch some more.

"It'll be ok," he assured, "I was a little nervous my first time, too," he admitted. Peter was a few years older than you at 20, and it was hard for you to picture him having been nervous about it, seeing as he now seemed to be trying to work his way through every cute girl in the galaxy.

"Really?" you asked, eyeing him skeptically.

"Yeah. I mean, I was still super excited, but I was a little nervous too. Those horror stories the older guys tell us really get to you."

You giggled with him, remembering what Yondu had told you the other day.

Peter continued, "But anyway, you're gonna be fine. But I did want to give you this." He pulled something out of his jacket pocket and handed it to you. It was a condom.

"Peter!" you whisper-shouted, blushing.

"Hey, if you're gonna do it, I wanna know you're being smart about it. Always use protection. Even with the Love-bots. Can't ever be too careful." He held his hand out more insistently.

You blushed harder and accepted the gift, even though you knew you wouldn't be needing it. "Thanks."

"Come on now, don't get all frowny on me. I'm just looking out for you." Peter teased, aiming a few pokes at your ribs, knowing it always got a good giggle or two out of you.

It worked. Giggles escaped your throat as you twisted in your seat and swatted at his hand, "Quit it!" you squeaked, but his mission was accomplished anyway, you were smiling now.

"There we go!" he teased, grinning at you.

"Shush!" you replied, sticking your tongue out at your friend and laughing when he flicked you in the arm for it. Soon enough the two of you were in a slap battle. You weren't really fighting, and neither of you struck with the intent to hurt (well, not much anyway) it was just how the two of you played sometimes. This carried on until you heard Yondu announce that you all had made it to your destination, and then the nervousness started to creep back into your belly.

Peter and you were the last off the ship. Yondu and the other men headed off, leaving the two of you to your own devices with calls to behave yourselves, but "not too much" *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

You almost wished he had stuck around longer, but you knew he had already done his part. It would look weird if he stuck around to hold your hand, so to speak. You look to Peter, wanting to stall just a bit longer. "So, ya hungry?"

"Figured you'd want to get right to business," he teased. He knew you were probably stalling, but decided to go along with it anyway rather than abandon you straight away. You had been here before, but he knew this time was different. This time there was a pressure to do something new, and you had already admitted you were nervous about it.

"Uh, can't do it on an empty stomach," you say, forcing a smile.

He ruffled your hair. "Good point. I'm starving." He suggested you two grab some fries at the nearby bar inside the brothel (the whole place was the brothel, let's be honest) and you followed him.

When you both had finished you tried to think of something else to stall, maybe play some pool? However, you never got the chance, for a whore-bot with green hair and looking to be around your age came over to your table to greet you. It was the one Yondu told you to look for, and it asked if it could "show you a good time." You looked nervously at Peter who shot you a thumbs up while trying not to laugh. You glanced back at the bot and tentatively nodded, which Peter took as a sign to high-tail it out of there, leaving you alone. The bot asked for your ID, as you knew it would, and part of you wished you "forgot" it back on the ship, knowing that the bots were programed to refuse service to anyone under the age of 17 and required ID of younger-looking patrons to prove it.

After scanning your ID, the bot took you by the hand and flirtatiously led you across the room to a set of stairs. You began to hear some cheers as you ascended the stairs behind the bot and you were blushing too hard to even attempt to ham it up for their benefit.

Once in the room the bot turned to you. "I understand this isn't meant to be an ordinary engagement. Mr. Udonta left instructions to only perform counterfeit coitus, correct?"

You blushed and nodded, taken aback by the professionalism of the sex-bot, before wondering if you were being rude by assuming otherwise.

"Have you done this before?"

You shook your head, still blushing.

"It's alright. There's plenty of time to figure it out. I've been booked for three hours."

You sputtered. "Excuse me?!" you cried, trying not to be too loud. "Three-? What are we supp-"

The bot gave a laugh and held up its hand. "Do not worry, Miss. I was paid extra to deliver that joke. Mr. Udonta felt it would be very funny. I've only actually been booked for an hour, the standard amount of time."

You let a sigh of relief. You still felt that an hour was going to drag on, but at least it wasn't flarkin' three. "So, what do we do?"

The bot took your hand again and led you to the large bed in the center of the room. "Lie down here." You looked at the bot nervously and it clarified. "The noises will be more realistic if both our weights are on the bed."

You did as the bot instructed and it climbed over you. "I understand this may be awkward, but I'll ask that you trust the process. I will do this," the bot began to rhythmically rock its body back and forth, each rock ending in its hands hitting the headboard and making it knock into the wall behind it. "and then you can start making moaning sounds, you can repeat after me." The bot then started moan, encouraging you with a gesture of its hand when you were too busy blushing to follow the lead. You did your best to mimic the sounds. "We shall continue like this for 10 minutes, and then rest." the bot instructed, ushering you again with more hand gestures when you paused to give it a puzzled look.

After several minutes the bot prompted you to get louder, and then louder again still a few moments after. You realized it was coaching you to simulate you approaching the climax and you got nervous again, not knowing what to do when "that moment" was meant to happen. The bot read your face and told you to relax, just follow it's lead as it thumped against the wall faster and it moaned louder.

You followed its lead until it told you to make a last few loud "Oh's!" and then it began to slow its thumping before coming to a stop.

Whoops and laughter could be heard from the bar outside the door shortly after, and you blushed harder as the bot crawled off of you. "We will now have a few minutes of rest before beginning another simulation."

You sat up. "So we'll just keep repeating like this until the time's up?" you asked.

"Not quite," answered the bot. "We'll change things up a bit, different positions, different sounds, helps to keep it interesting."

"This seems like a lot of work?" you say.

"Yes, well we're paid to put on a show here. Might as well ensure it's convincing," the bot answered with a shrug and a smile.

You winced as you realized you could hear similar noises you had just faked coming from the rooms next to yours and then more whooping and cheering once they, too, stopped. "The walls are kinda thin in here, huh?" you say awkwardly.

The bot smiled sympathetically, "It seems that way, but not really. Only the louder noises make it out. Normal conversation levels are typically left unheard from outside the rooms, so you're clear to speak freely if that was a concern."

"Good to know," you say. You honestly had been a little concerned about that. "So, do we just sit around then?"

"I could give you a massage, if you'd like."

"That... actually sounds really nice. Sure, thank you." You accept the offer, realizing you could use a little stress reliever. "What's your name, by the way?" you ask, feeling a bit guilty for not having asked the bot's name before then and wondering if you should feel silly about that or not.

"You may call me Finn," the bot answered, not seeming fazed in the slightest. "Would you prefer to remove your clothes or leave them on?" The bot- Finn- motioned for you to turn around to give it access to your back.

"Um, clothes on, please?" you say, reaching for your zipper. "But I'll take off my jacket."

"Alright." The bot said, it's tone not caring in the slightest, and you supposed it very likely didn't care one way or another. It went straight to work, starting slow by gathering your hair and pulling it back and up almost as if it were going to tie your hair in a ponytail, but instead of securing an elastic it just repeated this motion a few more times. It was actually very relaxing, and it made you wish you had someone around to play with your hair more often.

With a final gentle tug the bot moved one hand to your forehead while the other worked at the back of your neck, kneading where the nape of your neck met your skull, making you close your eyes and sigh deeply.

To your delight the bot then threaded its fingers through your hair, scratching gently at your scalp. A soft hum escapes you as you stopped yourself from leaning into to touch out of shyness, and you almost let out a whine when the scratching stopped. However, you were soon soothed by the bot beginning to knead into your neck and shoulders.

You had just barely stopped yourself from moaning once when the bot then pressed into another spot that made it impossible to not make a sound, though you tried. Finn speaks up. "Let yourself relax fully," the bot encouraged. "It's alright to allow yourself to be noisy here, may even work to your benefit under the circumstances."

You giggled slightly and blushed. Finn was right, after all. If there were any time to just let go and relax it would technically be here and now. Before you could think much further Finn had dragged the knuckles of each thumb up each side of your spine with just the right amount of pressure to coax a genuine moan out of you, surprising you as it happened. You had never really realized before just how much stress your work as a Ravager took out on your back. You began to wonder if these Love-bots were also designed to be professional masseuses, because Finn seemed to know exactly what they were doing, and it was amazing.

Finn ended the massage a bit later by working back up your back and working their fingertips back into your hair for a last bit scalp massage.

You were almost disappointed when it ended, but when it was over you turned to look at the Love-bot. "Thank you, that was really nice." you say.

"Anytime." Finn smiled. "We still have twenty minutes left, shall we begin another simulation?"

You sighed. "I suppose. He paid for an hour, might as well act like I'm using it." You smiled, not feeling quite as bitter about the situation anymore after the massage. Finn really did have magic fingers. Or state of the art massage programing. Probably the latter.

"Indeed." Finn answered. "After all, there are no refunds."

You let out a slight chuckle at the bot's bluntness. "Alright, so what now?"

The next simulation involved you both standing on the edge of the bed with the wall to hold your balance as you bounced slightly up and down to make the bed squeak. The bot encouraged your to make similar noises as before, but to also throw out some curses, like, "Oh! Fuck!" It even did the same, occasionally calling out a "Yes! Right there! Oh, yes!" that made you raise an eyebrow. You had to fight from giggling the whole time at the situation. It was pretty funny after all. You were both jumping on the bed like children.

When that simulation had finished you sat down on the bed and looked at Finn. "Do you guys... er...-bots?... feel anything?" you asked, referring to the language the bot had used earlier. "Or are you just supposed to say stuff like that as an act?"

"We don't have nerve endings, and therefore we don't really 'feel things' like you might, but there are certain sensors that can be activated during a session with a client and prompt a correct response. However, as this session is only a simulation, I suppose you can call my dialogue 'acting.'"

You half-grinned when the realization of the bot's words hit you. "Are you saying... you're like a 'sexy' arcade game?" you say, trying not to giggle, before becoming suddenly afraid that might have been offensive. "I mean- obviously you're not a toy- I mean- I didn't mean to offend you."

The bot chuckled. "There's no need to worry. There are certain similarities, one could see how you might draw that conclusion."

You blushed again and attempted to change the subject. "So... what are we going to do with the last simulation?"

"You have a couple options. We can simulate against the door, or we can simulate bending over the bed. We could also simulate oral, but the noises you made during the massage more or less already worked in its favor."

You blushed at that. You already knew the door was out of the question, as you had an admittedly irrational fear that it might pop open as you were faking the deed. "We can try over the bed."

"Very well. This one will require less movement of you, you may remain seated there." Finn said as they stood up and moved to stand with their legs between your own. "This one may also be a bit awkward," the bot warned, "as it requires thrusting into the bed on my part. Ready?"

You nodded hesitantly and the bot began a steady rhythm of motion against the bed, making it creak.

The bot was right. This was more awkward, and you were grateful when it was finally over with about five minutes to spare.

You stood from bed and grabbed your jacket. "Thanks. This wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be." you said truthfully. In fact, you really almost thought you'd come back if for no other reason than to get another back rub.

"You still have five more minutes, is there anything else I can do for you today?"

You smiled shyly and said, "Well, I won't argue if you play with my hair again..."

***

You were of course greeted with congratulatory cheers and high-fives when you exited the room along with the other few crew mates who had recently come of age... and had still been allowed to attend shore leave that is. R.I.P Rahi and his friends. (They hadn't died, but you can bet they were probably really regretting pissing Yondu off.)

A few fellow Ravagers bought you some congratulatory drinks and the rest of the night seemed to fly by.

Eventually you caught back up with Peter and shortly after that Yondu announced it was time to head back, which of course received some disappointed grumbling among the crew. However, nobody argued, knowing it might cost them their next shore leave if they got "fussy like toddlers" as Yondu would say.

You and Peter got back to the ship to find Tullk and Oblo already there waiting. Horuz showed up just after and sighed to see Yondu and Kraglin weren't there yet. Yondu and Kraglin were the only ones with keys to Yondu's M-ship, so you all had to stand outside and converse among yourselves as he took his sweet time getting there.

He was probably just paying the Sneeper woman who owned the place and would be there any minute, but 'any minute' still felt like forever when it was cold.

Eventually he and Kraglin did show up and unlock the ship so you could all get in.

Once inside the ship and mostly everyone had strapped in Kraglin called back to you from the co-pilots seat with tipsy laughter in his voice. "So d'ya have fun? Feel any different? Any horror stories to add to the list?" He looked teasingly at Oblo and Oblo flipped him the bird.

Yondu swatted at him, saying, "Aw, leave the girl alone," but there was also laughter in his scolding, so he wasn't that serious.

You answered anyway. "Ya. Had a blast, Kraglin. Smooth sailing. Just a little sleepy."

This made the other men chuckle, though you weren't entirely sure why, although you could guess.

Yondu piped up. "If she falls asleep Quill's gotta carry her in."

Peter scoffed with a laugh. "Why do I gotta?" he said, before turning to you to add. "You better not fall asleep then."

"Well if you fall asleep I ain't carrying you in! Probably break my back if I tried. You can just stay sleeping in the ship." you laughed back.

"Why you little!" Peter cried out with a grin, aiming to poke you in the ribs, but you dodged him, returning a swat of your own to his arm. And, like on the way over, the two of you were engrossed in another slap battle. The others just let you two carry on, busy with their own conversations and laughing amongst themselves.

Eventually you and Peter did tire yourselves out and Yondu chuckled to the other men when after docking the ship he noticed you had both fallen asleep, curled up in your respective seats. Oblo snapped a picture, cooing, "Aw look! Ain't that precious!"

"Send that to me." Yondu said with a grin. "Might blow it up, hang it in the Mess Hall." This earned a laugh from the others. He looked at Tullk with a grin before exiting the ship. "Ya better wake 'em. I'm sure as hell not carryin' them to bed."

***

The next morning Yondu was alone in his quarters when he decided to call up Stakar.

After a few rings Stakar's face comes up on the screen, and the two men give a Ravager salute in greeting before Stakar asks what's brought Yondu to call him.

"I wanna talk to ya about that whole coming of age and having sex thing."

Stakar raised an eyebrow. "What about it?"

"Younger crew just get too wound up about it. It ain't healthy." Yondu responded.

Stakar still looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"Ya know what I mean." Yondu said firmly. "They get all wound up like it's the most important thing in the world, and it's because everyone makes a big old deal outta something silly like that."

"It hasn't been a problem before?" Stakar said thoughtfully. "What's changed? It's that Terran girl isn't it? Of course. She just came of age." Stakar shook his head. "I don't care what you say, you're soft on her and Peter. You can't get attached and let them influence your judgement like that, Yondu."

"No, it ain't like that," Yondu said, trying to cover his ass and continuing before Stakar can interrupt him. "It's got nothin' to do with them. I just can't have my crew bullying their mates just cause they don't wanna fuck yet or lettin' the whole thing get to their heads makin' them all disrespectful-like. Almost had to keel-haul a few boys who suddenly thought they were big enough to start disrespecting their captain over it."

Stakar looked at him suspiciously. "No, we can't have that... What do you propose then? It's not like we can stop them. You tell young people they can't do something, they're only gonna do it more."

"I know that- Look. I'm not sayin' we do away with it entirely. I could care less what they do on shore-leave. But we can maybe make them realize it's not such a big damn deal. Ya know, slow-like. Maybe they'd stop getting so wound-up about it." Yondu said, quickly adding, "If they're less focused on that maybe they'd work harder."

Stakar thought for a bit. Yondu was right, he thought. He had noticed the younger crowd getting a bit wound up about it, and sometimes they did let the excitement get ahead of their duties... "Maybe you're right," he conceded. "If it's affecting their jobs maybe we should try and change the culture around it... I'll talk with some of the other captains and get back to you."

Yondu grinned and nodded. "All I ask."

***

You felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. It was the day after shore-leave and no one had brought up how you "Became a woman" at all. It was as if the previous week's excitement had been completely forgotten, and you couldn't be happier.

You did notice in the following days that Rahi seemed to be getting a bit of flack. He hadn't been particularly well liked before, always trying to push his duties off on other crew mates or blaming others for things he had broken, but now he was practically a pariah. Even his buddies didn't seem to want much to do with him, though that could be because they were still mad that they had been dragged under into his punishment despite not having done anything to deserve it other than be with him at the time.

You almost felt bad for him until Peter explained that along with the 'written' rule that Ravagers don't deal in kids; harming or forming inappropriate relationships with children and teens (i.e: having sexual relations with younger crew) was also a HUGE no-no. Even worse if the offender is someone high-ranking. Rahi, though he just thought he was being funny, had more or less unwittingly falsely accused Yondu of breaking that part of the code with the joke he made, hence why Yondu had been so offended and pissed. Peter was honestly surprised Yondu had let him live after that.

He also added that no one wants to be around someone who thinks it's funny to make those particular jokes. Real accusations of that nature are taken very seriously among Ravager Clans, so if someone is found to just be flippantly saying crap like that, the general feel is that it makes it harder for real victims to be heard, so the crew will tend to shun the offender to make it clear that behavior isn't acceptable. And well, if the offender didn't learn their lesson pretty quick and get back into the good graces of their captain and crew, they'd quickly find themselves to be cannon fodder.

Even Ravagers know there's a line between raunchy and unacceptable.

There may have also been the matter that when Yondu had said "I'm startin' to think some of ya are gettin' a lil' too wound up about this lil' rite of passage among ya young-ins. It'd sure be a shame if you were the reason I decided to put an end to it." much of the crew, after the rumor had gotten twisted up a bit via game of telephone, had taken it to mean that Rahi had almost gotten shore-leave taken away from everyone- forever. And well, that just didn't sit right with a lot of folks. It was a final nail in the coffin, if you will.

However, what you didn't know was about Yondu's conversation with Stakar.

Stakar did go talk to the other captains, and more than a few did finally admit similar instances among their younger ranks after having heard through the grapevines about a giant stink a lad called Rahi had caused on Udonta's ship. They admitted to instances of bullying, pressure, and disrespect occurring and directly related to the particular rite of passage and collectively agreed with Yondu that a change surrounding the culture could be beneficial, much to Yondu's surprise, and also his relief.

He never did tell you about his conversation with Stakar, though he was sure you may start to suspect if everything went well and things started changing regarding that particular aspect of life. As long as no one else had to feel like he saw you feeling that night in the laundry, he'd be happy.

You had come to his quarters the day after the visit to Contraxia, knocking almost as soon as he had hung up with Stakar. You had wanted to thank him him for helping you, both with the advice and with the Love-Bot. You told him how you felt so much better after having that talk with him, and how you no longer felt broken.

He'd never say, because screw sentiment, but it warmed his heart to know he helped you realize there was nothing wrong with you, that you had never been damaged. You two parted with a hug and he let you know to not be afraid if you needed to come to him about stuff like that in the future, just not to make a habit of telling the others lest they accuse him of going soft.

You were his little girl, something else he never intended to say out loud, because again, screw sentiment. He felt a responsibility for your well-being, even if you could be a little shit like Peter sometimes.

Ah, fuck sentiment. He knew you two were his kids, and he was damn proud.

***

About a week after shore leave you and Peter happened across Yondu outside the Mess Hall doors as you were heading in for supper.

"Hey, look! It's Terran One and Terran two!" Yondu said, oddly loudly.

"Um, hi?" You gave him an odd look. "What's up?"

"Now why would ya think somethin's up? Can't a captain greet his crew outside the Mess Hall before dinner?"

'Something's definitely up.' you thought, sharing a glance with Peter who was clearly thinking the same thing. "Are we in trouble? Did we do something?" Peter chuckled nervously. He didn't know about you, but he had maybe definitely rigged a supply closet in the control room with some firecrackers, and he wasn't sure if some poor soul (probably Kraglin) had already fell victim to it, meaning he was about to be in hot water.

You were also grinning nervously. You didn't know about Peter's firecrackers, but you had also maybe definitely hidden some poppers under the cushion of Yondu's desk chair that morning when he was busy on the other side of the ship, but you weren't going to just turn yourself in without more information, now were you?

"I dunno, you tell me." Yondu said, smirking. "Are you in trouble? Ya'll got a guilty conscience?"

You and Peter shared a nervous glance. You both knew you both were most definitely guilty of something, however you two had a code. Never turn yourself in, and never turn your buddy in. You looked back at Yondu, suppressing a nervous giggle. "No? I don't think so?"

Kraglin then came outside the Mess Hall doors to stand with Yondu. Kraglin had a big shit eating grin on his face, almost as if he were trying not to laugh when he saw you and Peter there.

Yondu threw him a glance which Kraglin returned with a nod. You noticed this and you exchanged another look with Peter. Something was definitely up. This felt like a trap.

"Well, what're ya waiting for? Get in there and grab some supper!" Yondu ordered, grinning strangely. He opened the door for you- oh shit something was absolutely up here.

You and Peter eyed him suspiciously but obeyed, entering the Mess hall without a word.

Once inside you noticed the rest of the crew inside were all oddly quiet, all staring at the two of you with grins and some suppressing giggles behind their hands. You heard the doors shut behind you and turned to see Yondu and Kraglin standing in front of them, both donning the biggest shit eating grins of all time.

"Cap'n has a surprise for you guys, d'ya- do ya like it?" Kraglin asked, trying to suppress his own giggles.

You heard Peter exclaim a, "Oh hell no!" and you turned to see what had caught his attention, noticing the crew had finally broke out into loud raucous laughter around you.

Hanging high on the wall about 10 feet to the right of the Mess Hall entrance doors was a humongous blown up photo of you and Peter. It was the photo you guys didn't know Oblo had snapped when you returned from Contraxia. It showed the two of you each curled up asleep in your respective seats of Yondu's M-ship. Peter was sucking his thumb. You were cuddling one of Yondu's softer dash toys.

You both paled as you stared up at the giant poster hung high on the wall. Hung conveniently high enough that neither of you would be able to reach it to rip it down, although Peter made a few good attempts.

Your eyes narrowed at your captain as he approached you, his laughter matching that of the crew. He pulled you towards him and ruffled your hair as he asked. "What's the matter? Ya don't like yer surprise?"

You glared up at him as Peter was now climbing up on a chair in a vain attempt to reach and pull the photo down. "This so means war, blue man!"

"Don't pick fights ya can't win, pipsqueak." Yondu laughed. "Consider this payback for those poppers in my chair, and ya can tell Peter this is for those firecrackers in the supply closet."

You sighed and punched him in the arm, but he only laughed and pulled you in close to ruffle your hair again, "Oh lighten up! Ya don't really expect me to just let my kids have all the fun, huh?"

You jerked your head towards him with a surprised expression, and it seemed it was only then he realized what he had said. Grateful that no one else would have heard it over his noisy crew he attempted to backtrack. "Uh, don't read too much into it." he said, clapping you on the back and announcing to Kraglin that he was going to grab some food. Kraglin, who was busy laughing at Peter, who had seemingly given up his attempts to rip down the photo in favor of walking dejectedly back over to you, nodded and joined his Captain in obtaining some supper.

Peter and you turned to face the photo again, the laughter from the crew still not having died down. Peter spoke first. "This means war, right?"

"Definitely. I had already set up a dye pack in Yondu's shower earlier. He'll be a weird shade of purple by morning," you affirmed with a grin.

"Nice. We gotta get one on Kraglin too."

"Absolutely," you reply. "After supper?"

"Yeah. After supper." Peter agreed.

The two of you made your way to get your supper, ignoring the laughs and teases of the other Ravagers along the way and discussing further options of getting Yondu and Kraglin back for this.

He may be like a father to you two, but that didn't mean he'd get off easy.

#gotg #gotg fanfiction #guardians of the galaxy #yondu x reader #long fanfiction #yondu udonta #x reader #reader is a ravager #papa!yondu #daddy!yondu #peter quill #peter quill x reader #yondu udonta x reader #kraglin #ace #demi #ace!reader #demi!reader #sfw

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21skhf4 · 2 years

Text

Apple Cinnamon Girl

For my girl Tara (@shutupptara). Hope you like it!!

You were settling into Seattle well enough, once you’d gotten over the initial feeling of betrayal by your company. Things had been working out great, and the best part was there was a bakery right next to your office. You always went there for your midday break, and you were in love with their apple cinnamon muffins. You had met the baker- Brandon- one day, and told him that the apple cinnamon ones were your favorite, and now every day when you came, he had a hot cup of coffee and one waiting for you. He always insisted that the cashiers take their break when you came in too, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was trying to flirt with you and woo you with food (which was totally working). You had promised yourself work came first and you didn’t have time for anything else, but each time you went in, the more you found yourself enjoying talking with Bradon and that you looked forward to your break.

Today was not that day though- work had been a shitshow, and your boss had yelled at you for something that wasn’t even your fault. You found yourself bailing out the door for your break and making a beeline for the bakery.

“Miss Apple Cinnamon is here,” Jaden, one of the cashiers, called back as the bells on the door jingled with your arrival. Normally, you would laugh at the nickname, but today, it was the thing that made you fly off the handle.

“I have a name, you know,” you spat out as Brandon came up to the counter. Jaden put his hands up and backed away slowly. “Sorry.” He said, looking at you.

“Go take ten.” Brandon told Jaden, who nodded and left. Brandon looked over to you. “Come with me.” Brandon looked over to the other cashier, Jordan. “Ebs, you got this?”

“Yes sir!”

“Holler if you need something.” Brandon said. Brandon motioned for you to come behind the counter and into the kitchen with him.

“Figured you needed somewhere more private today.” Brandon said, handing you the muffin and coffee. “Rough day?”

“Yeah.” You said. “Wait, I’m not interrupting you, am I?”

“Nah, just got to make some banana nut muffins. You ok if I work while we talk?” he asked.

“Brandon, I can come back. You have more important things to do.” You got up, only to have him come over and give you a hug and stand there for a moment with you.

“No. Stay. I’ve waited all day to talk to you.” he said. “I like it when you come in,” he added. “Makes my day a bit brighter.”

“I like coming in too,” you said, a smile playing on your lips.

“And there’s my smiley girl.” He grinned. “What’s going on? You’re not your bubbly self.”

You took a bite of the muffin (which was amazing as always), and told him all about your day as he made his banana nut muffins.

“That sounds like a rough day,” he said.

“It is.” You admitted, “But it’s almost over. Two more hours and I get to go home.”

“Positives, right?” hes smiled, and you found yourself smiling in return, bad mood gone (at least for a few moments).

“Yeah, positives,” you agreed. You looked at your watch. “I gotta go back. I’ll pay Jaden on the way out. Thanks for the muffin and coffee, and for listening to me.”

“You’re welcome. You don’t have to pay for it,” Brandon said.

“I do.” You insisted.

“It’s on me.” He said, but when you fixed him with a look, he conceded. “Alright. Next one's on me.” He grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled a number down. “Here’s my number. Text me if you ever want to talk outside of bakery hours.”

You blushed as you took it. “Ok,” you said, putting it in your pocket. “Thanks again.”

“You’re welcome. See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” You walked out, paid for the food (and apologized to Jaden). You made it back to your desk. You sat there for a few minutes before deciding to go ahead and text Brandon your number. Hey. It’s apple cinnamon girl :)

Hi. Came the instant reply. Get back to work. LOL.

Yes Brandon. You giggled as you texted back. Suddenly, Seattle didn’t seem too bad after all.

#brandon tanev imagine #nhl fic #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #nhl blurbs #hockey blurbs #Self Indulgent fic #writing #hockey writing #for my girl Tara

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ohmygoodnessgraciouss · 3 years

Note

If I may request/suggest an idea, Loki and that random cat that showed up in the Loki trailer bonding or whatever. Like imagine taking a cat on a time traveling, reality bending trip across the universe! Feel free to do what you want with this idea XD

I'm so sorry this took me forever lol! At least I'm getting it in before Loki comes out! I hope you enjoy this because honestly I had an idea for it i m m e d i a t e l y

It's just that school was so annoying. On the bright side, I'm no longer a high school senior! Woo! Moving up in the ranks! Just waiting for graduation next week! :D

Enjoy!

"I beg your pardon?" Loki glared at the man before him. Mobius stared back at him, holding back a smirk. He had dealt with the god for only a few minutes yet he was happy to see him in misery.

"You heard me, Loki. You don't miss much," He shrugged, leaning back in his desk chair. Loki looked around the room, searching for his new partner in crime. A cat.

"This is absurd."

"You're not the first to say that but you're going to deal with it anyway. You broke the rules so now you're going to follow them and fix what you've broken. That involves the cat." He pointed at the feline who was sleeping peacefully in his bed. His dish was off to the side, already empty from the lunch he had just an hour ago.

"How will a cat," He said the word as if it was the vilest thing he had ever heard of, "Help me fix a timeline?"

"There are some things that not even you can do, although people from Earth believe you can do it all."

"They do?" He asked, looking smug.

Mobius smirked, knowing that Loki fell into his trap. "Sure. They think you turned yourself into a horse and gave birth to one to save your own hide."

Loki's grin dropped immediately.

Loki walked through the portal which brought him to Earth. He had been given special instructions to travel to a specific part of the planet and break a bell. He had no idea why or what significance it could possibly have, but it was his job. Mobius carefully explained what would happen to him if he didn't and he wanted no part of that punishment.

Loki looked around at the city before him. "Philadelphia, 1835. Crack that big ol' bell and you'll be done here. This is your first mission so I figured I would make it easy. Use the cat if you need to. Be careful though, he can bite." Mobius explained before closing the portal, leaving the god by himself, a cat in his arms.

Loki glanced down at the cat before peering up at the hall before him. The grand doors were shut, a lock placed on them. It was late at night so he wasn't surprised to see so very few people wandering around. It was too dark to see anything though. This would be way too easy.

The cat, who he now deemed Jormungandr (A large name to make up for its petite size), walked around his legs rubbing up against him occasionally. Loki looked down at the cat and picked him up with one hand, listening to it mew quietly. "What am I to do with you?" He asked, looking at the guards before him. They wandered out with their guns loaded, walking down the steps of the hall.

They turned to check something from behind the building. The god smirked and ran up the steps quietly. This would be way too easy.

He pushed the doors open and looked around. The building was beautifully decorated with candle lit hallways and statues that stood three feet tall. Their grandeur was clearly meant to show the wealth and riches of the men who built this place. Loki would know that better than anyone after all.

He placed the cat down, quickly walking down the grand hall, finding the bell sitting in the center of a large room. Many flags sat around it, as well as many large bouquets of flowers. An event must have happened here recently. A large hammer sat next to the bell, an engraving written into it. He couldn't read it due to the limited light in the room, but he couldn't care about reading it anyway.

He pulled the hammer up, using a bit more of his strength than he thought he would need. He scoffed, looking at the hammer. "And that oaf thinks he's so mighty because he wields a hammer. It's not that big of a deal."

He struck the bell as hard as he could, letting it ring dramatically. The acoustics in the room allowed the ringing to go on for seemingly minutes. It didn't break the bell though. Loki knew the guards had to be returning soon. He wouldn't have a lot more time left. The cat jumped up onto his shoulders, digging its head into his neck. Loki groaned inwardly, feeling the cat's fur shed off and onto his clothes. This would take forever to get off.

Loki lifted the hammer once more, striking the bell. This time a small crack could be heard, splitting the bell open. Loki laughed breathlessly, dropping the hammer next to him. It let out a quiet thud as he heard the bell's ringing stop. "That wasn't so hard now, was it?" He asked the cat, who continued to bury its head.

Loki pulled out his communicator from his jacket pocket, waiting for Mobius to pull up the portal. He waited one moment, then two, and then he realized it wasn't coming up. "What's going on?" He asked Mobius, frustrated. He could hear the guards going through the hallways only a few rooms away.

"The portal isn't working, you'll need to stall the guards. I'll get it up and working again in a moment," Mobius stated. In reality, he was testing the god. He needed to be quick and agile enough to get out of the way of the guards and flee the scene. The portal was working just fine, but Mobius was curious to see what Loki would do in this given situation.

Loki cursed under his breath, putting the communicator away. The cat pulled away from his neck, looking at the set of doors the guards were bound to enter from. Loki looked around the room. Several pillars and statues were around the room. A perfect hiding spot for him. He scurried across the room, hiding behind a pillar. The guards entered only moments after.

They ran up to the bell immediately noticing that the hammer was not where it was before. “Someone’s been in here!” One guard exclaimed.

“But where could they have gone?” The second man asked. He prepared his gun, ready to find an intruder. “You take the left side, I’ll go down the right,” He said as he began walking. The first guard nodded, beginning his descent. Loki groaned inwardly, trying to figure his way out now.

The cat examined the room carefully before looking up at Loki. Loki glared at the cat, who stared up at him innocently. With a hint of mischief in its eyes it quickly ran out from behind the pillar. Loki’s eyes widened, trying to grab the cat before it left.

The cat started meowing loudly, sitting in front of the large doors. The guards glanced over and ran to it immediately, looking down at the feline. They looked down and lowered their guns. “It was just a stupid cat?” The first man asked.

“Whatever. Let’s get it out of here,” The second guy stated, crouching down to pick up the animal.

The cat immediately took off, running back down to the bell. The guards watched it momentarily before chasing it. “Hey! Come back here!” They yelled.

Loki smirked before taking off, escaping the room as quietly as possible. He pushed through the doors, making his way outside of the hall. He hid behind a tree and waited impatiently for Mobius to contact him.

A minute passed and Mobius called, saying that the portal was ready for him. Loki pressed a button, allowing the portal to present itself before him. He was about to take a step before he stopped himself, looking back at the building.

“What’s wrong?” Mobius asked from the other side of the portal, waiting for Loki to come through.

Loki sighed, standing only a few feet away from the man.

“I have to wait for the stupid cat.”

#loki x reader #loki laufeyson #odinson #loki series #loki #thor #marvel #mobius #tva #fanfic #fanfiction #loki being a little shit #because why not

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thecandywrites · 2 years

Text

Burn Without You Chapter 16

Woo, finally, the sexy fun times! It’s only taken me 16 chapters to get here lol. A respite before yet another confrontation. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Burn Without You

Chapter 16

You woke up a few hours after sunrise and woke to find Lukher still asleep in his original position, the stone still a medium lilac in color, the last stage before a light, pastel lavender as you woke up and moved from you spot next to him to go relieve yourself, and brush your hair and your teeth. And while the indoor plumbing was wonderful and the sink itself was a gorgeous mosaic and everything was beautiful, you didn’t really care to take much note of any of it as you simply made sure one of your new many silk robes was wrapped around you modestly before you got back in bed and got back into the original position, with Lukher’s head resting on a small pillow in your lap as your legs folded in front of you so that your lower legs rested against the top of his shoulders before you used your fingers and hands to explore his face, head and neck as you blew out a breath of relief when his neck was next to normal, granted weaker than the left side, but the muscle bellies were now whole again and intact, he could strengthen his right side again.

His right earlobe had regrown partially but you couldn’t know if the eardrum or any part of the inner eardrum had been healed. Your fingertips combed through his beard and traced his jaw line and blew out another breath of relief when it had felt whole and complete again. The muscles, once again were smaller and weaker on this side but again, that would be something that could be fixed overtime before you took a chance and gently opened his mouth and looked on the inside, the right side of his inner cheek looked normal, the gumbs had healed but he was still missing a few teeth on the lower part of the right side of his jaw and you knew that nothing could fix that, it wasn’t perfect but it was better than it was before and right now that’s all you cared about.

You then just took several long moments to appreciate his features, as thin and gaunt as they were but you felt some confidence that with your help, he could regain some measure of health.

With the stones, they usually worked from the inside- out, and from the beginning were usually focused on injuries that caused a person to immediately die, usually from the threat of bleeding out which was the quickest way to death, otherwise focused on infections or viruses. But with injuries such as his, you didn’t know if since he was no longer at risk of bleeding out and dying in the moment, if the stones themselves would give much thought or care to comfort than restoring as much functionality to limbs.

But restoring senses? That was up for debate. The sense of hearing, especially for a non Dorierran orc, was nonessential because the stones were to guarantee peak performance and enhancement for Dorierran orcs and their offspring. If he had been a Dorierran orc, you were sure that these stones would have healed him completely but because he wasn’t, you knew you just had to find contentment in all it was able to do then came a knock at the door.

“My Lady?” Seyda asked through the door.

“Come in please.” You answered as she came in.

“I have breakfast already waiting, it just came up and is still hot thanks to the wonderful elevators, can I have it brought in?” She questioned as she motioned to the door behind her.

“Yes please.” You answered as you put your hands over the stone itself on Lukher’s forehead before the door was opened and you recognized that only others from your own household were carrying in trays of breakfast foods. Half of which you recognized from your own cuisine, the other half, foreign to you and what you were sure was Yekmenian.

“Good morning My Lady.” They all greeted, as you made sure it was only them that came in before the door was closed behind them before you relaxed and let your hands rest at your sides so you didn’t have to hide his stoned state from them.

“Good morning.” You greeted them with a relieved smile on your face.

“Did you sleep well, My Lady?” They asked, clear and genuine concern in their eyes and in their tone.

“Yes, I slept fine, I’m sure thanks to General Thobin.” You answered.

“Was the stone able to help Lukher any?” Seyda asked hopefully.

“Some, but not completely. He still has a long road of recovery ahead of him. But at least the road will be long instead of just a few steps to a cliff.” You answered honestly as you tiredly rubbed your face again as all of them gave you apologetic looks.

“Thank you all so much for following me here and doing your best to adapt, I greatly appreciate all of your efforts and I will do my best to reward all of you for your unwavering loyalty.” You thanked them all.

“To the end My Lady. To us, you are our Vienne, we have no better master to serve.” Seyda insisted as the others readily agreed with such sentiment which brought a grateful and appreciative smile to your face.

“Have any of the Yekmenian staff given you any trouble? Are any of you having issues with rooming or accomodations?” You asked them.

“No, on the contrary, we are given very spacious and luxurious accomodations, granted not to this degree...” Seyda began as she gestured to the surroundings.

“But everyone we meet- all of them are happy, relieved and grateful that we speak nadasi and can interact with everyone normally, so there is no miscommunication and no misunderstandings. We are all given great respect because we serve you and we are not impeded in any way, and are allowed access to all and every ingredient in the kitchen and tools and utensils and the kitchen staff has even given us a portion of the kitchen and is dedicated to just the foods to be preparedf for you and the others from Dorierra and many wish to learn our ways of cooking and are very interested in the spices and techniques we use. So you may find the lines between Sultanate Quarter Dorrierran cooking and Yekmenian cooking to start to blur from now on, because they have ingredients and spices that are new to us and we are equally interested in exploring them and utilizing them. And they are most grateful that we brought so many plants, vines, bushes and trees, to be planted in the gardens, there are several gardens here, there is a greenhouse section for the plants that need warm and hot temperatures to grow, there are protected gardens strictly for food production and then there are flower gardens galore. You yourself have your own private garden on the second floor’s courtyard since your suite of rooms covers two floors in this section of the fortress. Last night during festivities, we planted at least three of every kind of fruit tree, and bush in them so that they can easily polinate each other and you have them at your disposal, especially the figs, dates and the pomegranates, and we even made sure to plant the special fig wasps nest in a remote corner for the figs and we put a special bee hive on the other end where all the plants that need to be polinated by the nice bees, so that you won’t worry about being stung while in your own gardens and of course the bee keeper will make sure you have a good supply of honey as well.” Dilara, the Sultanate Quarter’s chef’s wife who was coincidentally also one of his suis chefs explained.

“In fact, Shiah, who is the fortress’ mistress or head housekeeper, she chose these rooms specifically for you because not only are they well protected, but very beautiful, luxurious and have the best access to the water supply since this fortress is so tall it has a water sprouting skyland within it’s tower so that the water flows down instead of having to be drilled and brought up. The water itself is crystal clear and clean and tastes very good and we don’t have to worry about tainted water, they even have great plumbing structures thoughout the whole fortress and great water heaters so that hot water is easily available, all you have to do is turn on a “faucet” and clean, hot water comes pouring out. It’s a wonder of engineering, this whole fortress is. It has ammenities that Dorierra wishes it had. It has a service elevator for us to use to get to you very quickly and of course the other main elevators for you to use. And to our understanding from Shiah, is these suite of rooms are your sanctuary, for you and for Lukher, who’s room is only next door though that door and his room is basically just a bed and a closet and a bathroom, and that’s all he really needs when he’s not with yout. It’s you who has a spa for a bathroom, a sauna, a whole room that is dedicated to just your wardrobe, and rooms for every purpose you can think of and Shiah, as is everyone else’s assumption is that when Lukher and yourself are not “out in public” or touring the fortress and it’s lands, you can both find peace and solace and simply enjoy each other and each other’s company here. Also you may go anywhere and everywhere you wish within Yekmeni and it’s lands, with or without Lukher. All you need to do is say your name with your title in the market and every vendor will be bending over backwards so to speak to get you whatever you will want. Everyone is eager to gain your approval and we keep getting asked how to gain it.” Seltan reported who was Seyda’s assistant.

“Wow, that’s wonderful.” You smiled happily before there was another knock at the door.

“Who’s there?” You asked.

“It’s just me,” Thobin answered.

“Please come in.” You answered before Thobin had to duck a little to get into the door before your servants got you a small plate of food and some freshly squeezed juice to drink for breakfast before they all saw themselves out as Thobin was carrying Arace who was wriggling in his hold to get out of it to come and greet you which he reluctantly put her down on the floor before she ran and spung onto the bed and wanted to be held before you put the plate of food down to hold her and cuddle her and happy to be reunited with her.

“That little girl wanted to go to bed with you last night, and spent the night outside your door, helping the guards guard the door. She is very attached to you.” Thobin reported.

“Aww, poor baby, well tonight, you can sleep in my bed, because do my eyes decieve me? Is there some food in that dish next to that pet bed with your name on it?” You cooed to her as you pointed to the items in question as you noticed your attendants had also come with a dish of food for Arace and had put it and a bowl of water and a bowl of milk down for it before you kissed Arace all over and then urged her to eat her own breakfast before she left your side to do just that.

“Seyda, please, make sure no other tries to enter the room until Thobin and I are done talking.” You urged Seyda before she left the room.

“Of course.” She nodded as Thobin used his stones to relay that information instantly to the guards at the door before the ones stationed on your balcony outside your bedroom also left to give you privacy Thobin took the biggest and sturdiest chair and brought it close to the bed and sat down.

“I would offer for you to eat, but I dare not risk the special diet.” You answered.

“It’s ok, I awoke early this morning, before sunrise, and made sure everyone in the army took another movement and then ate more of the special diet. We are good for another month or two.” He answered.

“Oh good.” You blew out a breath of relief.

“So? What can you sense from the stone?” You asked him.

“Well, aside from what you’ve already sensed and seen, his left eardrum has made a 75% recovery and his right has made a 55% recovery so he’s now only partially deaf. His jaw is now completely put together and in alignment. As his neck and his spine and all the other minor injuries to his body. So he’s as functional as he can be. He will have to strengthen his weaker sides but at least he is able to do that much.” Thobin reported as you blew out a breath of relief.

“Thank the stones.” You breathed as you picked up your own tethering stone and picked it up and kissed it affectionately.

“His pain is gone, however his ears will eventually start to ache and a ringing will eventually return and over time his hearing will deteriorate once again and the degree of deafness will rise once again until he’s completely deaf.” Thobin gravely reported.

“I figured as much, with only a partial healing. Of course such things would be expected.” You nodded in understanding.

“So I can sense that there is more to tell me but you do not wish to burden me. Surely we have more time before he wakes.” You entreated Thobin.

“Lukher’s hiding from you, wasn’t his own thoughts or intentions. They were his mothers. She was so adamant of your abilities and would not hear of anything else, she’s the one that encouraged him to hide himself from you and threatened the Ambassador and the entire envoy with pugging if they told you the truth because she had told all of them and especially Lukher that the moment you would touch the steps of the fortress and would be able to magically sense that he was wounded, you would heal him in front of his whole country and prove to the whole clan that you were worth your price and investment and would repay it a hundred fold and would not hear any words of argument or anything of the contrary. Sunco was not given any opportunity to say anything otherwise because Auralu put herself as an obstacle between Sunco and everyone else here. Irelu’s mother, Rubati, she had told Irelu and her other sons and daughters to disobey the order that she would take the pugging herself because she knew this was wrong.” Thobin revealed.

“So I have Auralu, who is Clan Chieftess and her Clan Chief’s favorite wife to thank for this betrayal. Great.” You groused.

“Yes.” Thobin answered.

“Well, that’s just fan-fucking-tastic, so when everyone didn’t see me do such things, they probably all got suspicious and doubtful of me.” You realized.

“Well, that’s why Clan Chief Wardeen phrased things the way he did after the ceremony. So that the stone’s work would be attributed to you. Which was kind of him to do. Auralu has his cock and balls in a ring I think, at least metaphorically speaking, to the point that he ignored Rubati and Davkee’s advice to come clean about the realities of the situation. And they all regret it and are sorry for it. None more so than Sunco and the rest of the envoy. Apparently Auralu has a history of pugging anyone she finds displeasure in and Wardeen didn’t stop her which for Clan Chief also gives me concern that he would not object to his Clan Chieftess threatening to pug his own children over something as trivial as this gives me pause and dread too. She is two faced but power hungry and corrupt. So you must be on guard against her.” Thobin said.

“Fuck.” You sighed in defeat as you lost your appetite and put the plate to the side.

“However, I can tell from the stone on Lukher and according to everyone else’s report that Lukher is nothing like his mother, thank all the gods. He is intimidated by the prospect of being Clan Chief and even the station of Warchief gives him pause. Before all of this, he was happy and content to just be The Griffin Master. He was in charge of the care, husbandry, socialization and training of every griffin here and thanks to him, every griffin is trained with love and care and understanding, like the kind horse masters are, back in Dorierra. He has the capacity for so much care and thoughtfulness and tenderness. Which I have no doubts he will show you. All he needs is to see his mother for what she is and encourage his father to get his manhood out of his wife’s hands and not walk in either of their footsteps.” Thobin concluded.

“Oh thank the gods.” You practically melted in your spot before you got your appetite back and picked your plate back up to keep eating.

“You would be wise to befriend Rubati and Davkee, they will be better mother in laws to you than Auralu could be. Although her lessons in intimidation and how to manipulate, could be useful, especially in negotiations with other nations.” Thobin offered.

“So keep it strictly business with Auralu, keep it personal with the other two, got it.” You nodded in understanding and agreement.

“Yes, very much so. But do not let Auralu try to manipulate you or intimidate you either or continue to do so to anyone else- her reign of terror should end but she will fight tooth and nail to keep as much power as she can.” Thobin cautioned.

“Seyda and my other household just told me I am their Vienne, which is very high praise and has been my lifelong goal and I could not be more grateful for such high esteem and faithful loyalty from them, I only hope to earn the same from the new members of my household. And Vienne wasn’t afraid to show her teeth and claws and you and I both know my grandmothers have done their best to arm me with both. I will not fear using them, especially with Auralu, the bitch can bark all she wants, I think she’ll shut up when I bite.” You insisted confidently.

“Good girl.” Thobin praised with a proud smile.

“Now, I suggest, let Lukher tell you about his mother’s influence once he awakes, help him to see the error of his mother’s ways and her way of thinking and actions, which shouldn’t be too hard, especially for you. I can tell his heart, mind and soul belong solely to you, make sure you capture them completely so that no other could ever hope to court them away from you, not even his mother.” Thobin advised.

“Aww, really? You can sense that?” You asked excitedly.

“Oh yeah, last night I was too angry and upset to sense it, but after sleeping on it and letting my own anger cool and sense and reason return to me, it’s very clear his affection for you is bursting at the seams. He’ll want to, forgive the phrasing, but he wanted to practically fuck your brains out last night, it would be moments after he awakes and realize his health has been partially if not mostly restored before he tries again, so be prepared.” Thobin playfully revealed with a bashful smile and a blush, turning his light blue skin a dark navy blue which made you giggle.

“Oh and the uh tea, that should help you conceive, I can tell by the smell.” Thobin realized as he sniffed over your food, inspecting it with his eyes and his nose.

“Gimme gimme.” You reached out and gestured for it which got Thobin to start laughing as he handed you the pot and a teacup to drink it, using a very gentle touch to do so- so he would not smash either one by accident because they were delicate porcilin after all.

“Thank you.” You thanked him as you poured yourself a cup and drank it, only grimacing slightly from the taste before Thobin handed you some honey.

“I love it that you can read my mind.” You gleefully giggled as you took it and added a spoonful of honey to the tea.

“Also you should know that last night I had to put out several fires, Ashurah is of course furious with the entire envoy and especially Irelu for not coming clean and she feels like she has failed you and everyone else as a translator.” Thobin informed you.

“Has she learned of the threat of the pugging?” You asked.

“He tried to tell her but she doesn’t believe him.” Thobin answered.

“Well, once Lukher wakes and we come to an understanding and I’m sure Lukher will push his mother to come clean and confess her guilt and her actions and her threat, they will believe it and may be more willing to forgive, at some point today, probably this late afternoon, early evening which should be morning for Dorierra before tonight’s festivities, I want a conference with Lukher’s family, Sunco and the rest of the envoy and of course the High Councilors because I sincerely doubt the others kept what happened to us yesterday to themselves, all of Dorrierra has probably spent all night, or for them, all day rather, gossiping about it, it probably set all the rumor mills into a wild fire and burned their way through the country by now, which in turn won’t make things any easier on anyone, especially my family. They’ve already had to deal with so much grief over this business, I hate to cause them any more.” You ventured.

“Yeah…” Thobin took a deep breath as even he couldn’t keep his face from becoming a little defeated.

“Oh no, what else?” You asked.

“Maisarra has completely cut ties with Daon, and has officially answered yes to the Champion of Tahir’s offer to be his Sultana Supreme, because the way your family and the others and everyone in Dorierra saw this was that we were led into a figurative ambush. They all feel betrayed and are on the defensive and none of the others wish to leave their own suite of rooms and are only taking up association with themselves, no one else.” Thobin reported.

“Shit. I was hoping that Daon would have been able to court her away from that. Because it was only be out of spite for Haydar that she said she had accepted it in the first place at his own expulsion from the country, but I thought Daon was able to pull her back, she was so happy yesterday before this whole sorry business started. Is there anything that can be done?” You asked Thobin who couldn’t hide his scheming grin from you for anything.

“Well, I may or may not have called a messengerari at the banks where Rezan was turning in your sister’s benar she had cried yesterday after the reveal of the truth of what we all really walked into and I may have encouraged her to keep the letter to her person and encouraged her to make any excuse she could for not getting it to Langashi or any other High Councilor, because they are always in meetings after all aren’t they? Now whether she listened to me or was obedient to her Lady, I don’t know, but I think I was pretty convincing. Plus Daon and Irelu both spent a good portion of last night coming up with a solution, what that solution is, I can’t be sure, they’re still sleeping, but I’ll find out as soon as I leave here.” Thobin grinned smugly.

“Oh good, thank you, I will call Rezan as soon as I can, in person to repeat your own words of wisdom. Of course, feel free to call her back and tell her that I encouraged you to encourage her to belay delivering Miasarra’s official answer because I wanted Maisarra to meet him face to face to really be sure and didn’t want Maisarra to make any rash decisions when her emotions were peaked and we all know that super strong emotions can cloud clear judgement.” You readily urged him.

“Of course.” Thobin readily agreed before the stone finally turned a light lavender as you and Thobin both felt it then looked down before you poured yourself another cup of tea and chugged it quickly.

“Ok, ready?” You asked Thobin as you wiped your mouth clean and put the tea cup aside and got ready.

“Only if you are.” Thobin answered as he stood up from his chair and took a couple of steps to stand next to the bed.

“In three…two...one.” Thobin said before he reached down and removed the stone, before turning it off as it turned a light green color and he put it back into its place in it’s special case at his waist as Lukher’s breathing pattern changed as he started to wake up as you leaned over him, your hair falling around him like a curtain of dark brown silk.

“Good morning My Love.” You cooed happily to him, happy that your face was the last he saw before he fell asleep and the first he saw when he woke up.

“Good morning.” He smiled, happy and ecstatic he could hear you before reached up and brought you down to kiss you, granted it was upside down but he needed that kiss more than air before you pulled away.

“Hey before that goes any further, while you can hear me, we need to talk but most importantly, you need to listen to my General about what the stones were able to do but also what they were not able to do ok?” You urged him before you sat up straighter before Lukher looked to the side to see Thobin sitting back down in his chair to appear less threatening as Lukher sat up before you scooted closer to hug Lukher’s back and wrap yourself around him and enjoy his warmth and his scent which he was happy to receive and instantly hugged your limbs to himself.

“Could you make it quick?” Lukher asked hopefully which got Thobin to laugh.

“Yes, you now have 75% of your hearing in your left ear, but only 55% in your right, your neck was able to fully heal, as was your jaw bone and the muscles are now whole, they’re weaker from lack of use. But your jaw and skull are aligned as is everything else. And any pain you were in should be gone for now. However, due to the nature of your eardrums not fully healing and thus not being able to hear the way they should, the ringing and the pain will eventually creep back into your life. And there is nothing I or these stones can do about that. I’m sorry.” Thobin offered.

“General, I am most grateful for even this much. Thank you so much.” Lukher thanked him practically in tears that he wasn’t in pain and could move his jaw easily without pain and even though some of his teeth were still missing on the right side, he could still eat a bit on the right side, he felt so much better and could actually hear and talk so much better now.

“You’re welcome, enjoy your breakfast, do you wish for me to take Arace with me?” Thobin offered with a small smile and nodded over to her as Arace had just finished her breakfast and had stretched out and was ready for her after breakfast nap on her super soft cushion.

“No she can stay, I don’t think she will be in the way.” You offered before you looked to Lukher who nodded in agreement before Thobin nodded and left and the moment the door was shut and you heard Thobin tell all those outside of it to not even approach unless summoned gave you the all clear to enjoy your privacy as you could feel Thobin detach himself mentally from you so that he wasn’t ‘eavesdropping’ on your thoughts, emotions or senses right now. Lukher turned in your hold and practically pinned you to the bed and kissed you like a man starved, both literally and figuratively as your body reacted in accord, your legs wrapping around him tightly, holding him to you possessively as you kissed him back with equal eagerness and hunger.

“Finally.” Lukher rumbled you relished in what his voice should sound like as he was the first to test this mouth and jaw on your own as he gave you kisses that took your breath away, and his touch was like re-igniting that oh so wonderfully warm erotic fire on your soul as you responded in kind.

It had been an agonizing three month separation and this felt just as glorious as you had envisioned to feel like as his mouth moved from yours to your neck then to your chest as the tethering necklace was moved out of the way so it wouldn’t be between the two of you as all you needed to do was tug at the tunic and Lukher practically ripped it off of himself as you readily and eagerly took off your robe and your little silk nightgown, since you had not bother to put on any underwear as neither did he, since the head of his cock was already impatiently prodding your entrance because of his own essence and yours was keeping the head from gaining any purchase to gain entrance as it slipped up your center repeatedly as the head of his cock suddenly slipped between the two of you which got you to giggle at his eagerness as you readily reached down and finally found your prize.

And oh what a prize it was. Large, thick and girthy, strong and glorious and you wanted every millimeter of it as you helped align him and seat it so that the head at least was in your entrance.

“Ready when you are My Love.” You purred and that was all Lukher needed to hike his hips up and seat himself to the hilt, surprised yet delighted when he was able to do so, only grimacing slightly when you gasped and whimpered at the feeling of your maidenhood breaking and the feeling of being so exquisitely stuffed for the first time was overwhelming you as your cheeks and chest flushed as you clung even tighter to him as you took a few quick and deep breaths to acclimate which Lukher sensed and didn’t move any more.

“You ok?” He asked as concern began to overtake the lust that had been in his eyes only a moment before.

“Yeah, just, it always hurts the first time, you’re very well endowed, let me adjust for a moment.” You answered.

“Take all the time you need, I’m struggling too, it’s hard not to cum yet.” Lukher confessed.

“After only one stroke?” You laughed breathlessly, in a light teasing tone as you tried to calm your breathing down as your body began to relax

“Are you kidding? One look and you can undo me, one stroke is an achievement for me, it’s my first stroke, I wasn’t prepared either.” Lukher answered which got you both to laugh as he kept your face on his left side and the laughter relaxed you both.

“You’ve been saving yourself for me all this time?” You asked.

“If you were going to save yourself for me, it’s only fair, I save myself for you.” He answered with a shrug and a crooked and utterly adorable smile and a shrug of his right shoulder, his grin growing when the motion was now much easier for him to do.

“And what a wait it’s been,” you sighed rather dreamily as his look turned apologetic before he tried to say something before you silenced him by kissing him, his moustache tickling your upper lip a little.

“Worth the wait though.” You reassured him before your body relaxed fully as did his.

“You have no idea.” He whispered before kissing you deeply and trying to touch everything, all at once, marveling at your silky soft and perfectly unblemished skin against his own. He was so happy he could hear every gasp, sigh, moan and keen of pleasured bliss as well as feel them too and the pure desire and lust burning in your eyes, proving that you honestly desired him and wanted him and loved him and adored him and cared for him. And that was so much more than he felt he deserved. Especially from such an ethereal woman like you as he worshipped your body with his and from the sheer friction of his hips rolling ever so deliciously into yours as you found your release only a moment before Lukher was able to withhold his own orgasm from you which was especially difficult for him because fighting back his own orgasm while giving every pleasure he could was infinitely harder than fighting any foe.

But his own pride and honor forbade him from reaching his release before you did and his father thankfully had given him plenty of advice from his own experience with his three wives which for the last three months, had been rather embarrassing to listen to. But now? He was grateful for it because he had to use it and his father had been right. Sex and it’s movements and actions and reactions would come naturally to him, especially if his partner was mentally with him in the moment, emotionally ready to receive such pleasure and was genuinely returning it and the physical part would come really naturally if the first three factors were already present, which was true.

For Lukher it was like the whole world fell away and shrunk down to only you. His senses were hyper focused on you, every blink, every breath, every sound, every movement, every action and reaction as his instincts told his body how to move, but his heart and mind were completely saturated with you.

Meanwhile, any preparations and “education” for sex was paling in comparison to the real thing. This was so much better than any love scene in any romance novel you had read. You weren’t prepared for how intense this was, not just physically, but emotionally and psychologically too, it wasn’t just a physical act, it had real meaning. You weren’t prepared for how his personal scent would be all the aphrodisiac you needed to get your body ready to receive him, how his eyes held even more love and devotion and tenderness while also holding intense desire too. His taste was addictive, his mouth on you was like he was sucking your soul out of wherever he would place it- be it your own, or on your jaw, your ear lobes, your neck, your chest or even your breasts and everything in between. Your soul was burning with lust and desire and your own body didn’t need to be told what to do, or how to act or react. It moved by instinct, no thought needed and it was very clear from his actions and reactions to you, that he was trying to give you- your pleasure first, not chase his own, but pursuing yours, not necessarily aggressively but beckoning it to come from you which your body was all too willing to answer such a call as you felt the pleasure grow then completely overwhelm you and your senses.

He often just made a questioning hum if whatever he was doing, if that was feeling good, and your answering keens or your own hands fisting in his hair or cupping his handsome face or even stroking down his body and your fingertips digging into the muscle that remained on his frame, while your legs wrapped around his waist like a vice, your heels locked behind him so that he could not escape you even if he tried while still allowing his hips to rock and stroke into yours and it was all the answer he needed to continue.

For such a wonderful and blissful act as this, no words were needed because the thoughts and emotions and intent was definitely being communicated by every other means. It superseded any other and every other language. And was one that you only wanted to “speak” with Lukher and Lukher alone for the rest of your life. No wonder Wardeen’s wives bickered, if Wardeen was anything like Lukher in this respect, you would never, ever want to share him with anyone else either and you were now ever so grateful that Lukher had put the choice to ever extend the invitation of any more occupants of this marriage bed was entirely up to you and it was an invitation you were going to fight tooth and nail to never give out as long as you drew breath.

And just as your body was starting to relax from riding out your own release did Lukher’s body tense as he emptied himself into you as you felt his manhood throb and then warmth from his seed flooded and then overflowed your womb and from the size of this particular load, it felt like he had been holding it back his whole life because with every throb- more and more and more came gushing out and if just his member was filling you before, you were absolutely stuffed now and you were sure that if your womb was connected to anything else, his seed would be oozing out of every other orifice you had right about now because you were at your absolute limits as you could feel the overabundance of seed break the seal between his flesh and yours before he all but collapsed over you but he did his best not to smother you but still covered your body with his ever so possessively.

However, because he had lost weight, you didn’t feel smothered or squished at all, if anything, his weight grounded you in the moment and helped you feel more connected on more than just a physical sense but a mental, emotional and psychological sense as well as you pulled him tighter to you so that you could rest and recover together and after that, then he completely relaxed and let his weight rest over you which brought a soft, and fond smile to his face as well as to yours as he continued to catch his breath from his exertions as you gently stroked your hands over the hills and valleys of muscle and bone in his back before your fingernails began to gently scratch which only earned you another pleasure moaned as he wrapped his arms around you, pillowing his hands and arms between your back and the mattress to hold you even tighter as he nuzzled his face next to yours.

“Your beard tickles.” You giggled when the hair had tickled your skin and you squirmed slightly at the ticklish sensation on your oversensitive flesh.

“I can shave it.” He offered.

“Only if you want to. You don’t have to change anything you like about yourself just to suit my tastes.” You readily answered.

“Mmm. Likewise.” He readily answered you.

“Actually I grew the beard to cover the wounds, now that they’re healed, I don’t feel I need one, unless you just like the look of my beard.” Lukher offered.

“Lukher it’s your hair and your body, you do- to it as you wish. I will love you and think you’re handsome even if you had no hair.” You reassured him as your fingers combed through his luscious locks. Such thick and naturally curly hair, coiled beautifully, naturally wrapping around your fingers, as if custom curled to do so.

“Then it’s settled, the beard is coming off, come on, bathe with me.” Lukher insisted.

“But what about breakfast?” You asked as you pointed to it.

“It can’t be that hot by now, and it’s not gonna getting any warmer, and it can get reheated or remade, come on.” He urged as he got off of you and helped pull you to your feet and led you back to the bathroom before he started the bath as you were impressed at the fact that all he had to do was twist a knob and hot water instantly started pouring out of the spout as he put a plug in the drain in the tub to keep the water in it.

“Pick any bath oils you like.” He invited you as he gestured to where a gigantic tray of them were as he went through your bathroom cabinet and found a pair of scissors and began to cut off hunks of his beard by the handful and throwing the hair away in the little trash can in there as the bathtub filled with hot water as you went through the very wide variety of bath oils as you settled on the first that struck your fancy before you poured some of that into the water before you felt the temperature of the water before you turned on the other faucet on to at least temper the very hot water so it wouldn’t burn or scald either of you before you looked back at him in the large mirrors and couldn’t help but laugh, his beard, now all hacked almost haphazardly as he tried to shear as much of it off as he could with just the scissors.

“You would like some help?” You offered.

“Nah, I got it, all I need is some soap and a razor which should be in one of these drawers and it’ll all be off in a flash.” He reassured you before you decided to help him go through the many drawers which were nicely organized, a little stuffed full of goods, but you managed find what you needed among the different items as Lukher finished hacking off as much of his moustache and beard that he needed before the tub was full and you turned the water off before you had him sit down on the seat in front of a vanity that was in there as you happily sat in his lap to help shave his face cleanly as Lukher was happy to simply hold you and let you do as you wished to his face as you used the frothed up soap on what bit of hair remained and were happy when the blade itself was so sharp it layed all the hair off the moment it touched his skin.

“You have a lot of experience shaving men?” He asked you in a rather teasing tone.

“No, just a lot of experience shaving myself, in the Sultanate Quarter, when women are summoned to serve their Sultan in bed, it is expected to have no hair anywhere on their body except their head, their eyelashes and their eyebrows, all hair everywhere else is supposed to be shaved clean so that all skin everywhere else is as smooth as possible.” You answered as you focused on his neck.

“Like an infant?” Lukher asked with a frown.

“Basically, yes.” You confirmed.

“Isn’t that... irritating though? Especially in your sex?” He asked.

“Oh yes, especially when the hair tries to grow back and it feels like I’ve become a cactus all over and then purely for my own comfort and to keep from feeling that way, I was compelled to reshave everything just to enjoy the feeling of smooth, soft skin just on myself.” You hummed a soft laugh.

“That’s why I’m grateful the Aki-Aya clan doesn’t believe in such practices, your aunt explained to me that it is only when all the adult hair comes in- in full, that that is the sign that it is appropriate for sexual relations to begin, because if the other individual is not mature enough in body to have grown adult hair fully, that that was also an indicator that the individual’s mind and maturity were not ready for sexual relations either, which I think is wonderful and a good rule of thumb to go by. And so for the last few months, I was encouraged to let the hair at least on my sex to grow back in full, otherwise you would not have relations with me based on that understanding, that you would think I was much younger than I am and that I wasn’t old enough or mature enough to have relations with you. So now it’s one less thing I have to worry about and now I’ve been spoiled getting used to it.” You smiled happily.

“Well all you need to do is tell me how I can spoil you more and I’ll do all that I can to accommodate you.” Lukher offered.

“Well you can start by talking to me, like really communicating with me. I wanted to talk to you so much on the way here, I wanted to show you my progress in learning nadasi and get to know you better instead of only talking through Daon and Huda and Sunco. If you had just told me what was going on, I would have been honest about everything and there wouldn’t have been such a big misunderstanding or false hopes or unrealistic expectations or disappointment or embarrassment for either of us especially when your entire clan was watching both of us so closely and expecting to see a miracle I had no way of giving or providing. Were you really that scared of my rejection? Or was there someone else pushing you to keep me at a distance?” You asked as you looked from shaving his jaw up into his eyes, your own look of sadness and concern in them especially palpable.

“Honestly it was my mother, she was so convinced that you had powers and abilities and she was adamant that I needed to learn how to run the clan from my father as quickly as I could since my father had been teaching my half brother Kingu that- since he was a young boy and in both of their eyes, I had a lot of catching up to do.” Lukher answered.

“And so because you believed her assumption, you never thought to do your own research and find out for yourself? To at least reach out to Sunco to double check? Sunco and the entire envoy saw with their own eyes that no one in my family had a collar or any healing abilities. We had sparring lessons, and got cuts and bruises and didn’t heal ourselves or each other, they saw how we could not transform or fly or anything like that. We didn’t even own pegasus’. Sunco told me she would be as truthful with me as I was with her and I was. But the closer we got to Yekmeni, the more anxious she became. Like she was afraid of coming home instead of being relieved that her home and her family were so close. Did your mother have something to do with that too?” You asked him.

“Yes,” Lukher sighed in defeat as his shoulders sagged.

“Did your mother threaten Sunco that if she didn’t deliver what your mother wanted, that she would be punished?” You asked, trying to seem rather casual in your probing but still clear and to the point.

“Yes, my mother threatened to pug them, that’s when…” Lukher began as you gasped and purposefully opened your eyes wide in horror.

“Oh no! Lukher, I’ve grown up side by side with orcs, I know exactly what a pugging is and I know exactly what kind of weight that carries and how vicious that can be. Why didn’t your mother let Sunco tell her, much less your father or anyone else the truth? Why did she put your own aunt, your own cousins and half siblings into a situation that was impossible to win and that was guaranteed to lose? Does your mother hate your aunt and your half siblings so greatly that she would pug them, just because she refused to be told a truth she didn’t want to hear and would have refused to listen to? Why didn’t your father stop her? Does he not love his own children by Rubati and Davkee just as much as he loves you and all of your mother’s other children?” You asked him, a concerned and worried frown deep onto your features which broke Lukher’s heart to see as he felt lik he was finally seeing the truth for the first time as he felt angry and betrayed by his own mother too as he realized you were absolutely right, about everything. His mother was wrong to even try to do such a thing. And she purposefully lied to him and led him astray as he started to see his mother for what she was.

“I don’t have good answers to those questions.” He answered.

“Any answer that is the truth will always be good enough for me. I would rather be hurt by the truth than be led astray by a lie just because the lie tickled my ears better.” You leveled with him and could see that he agreed with you.

“And that’s why you have earned all respect and honor. There has always been private contention between my mother and Rubati. Granted myself and all my half siblings, we all love each other and get along, even if our mothers do not. But my mother…she has not wielded her power over them or the clan in the best ways in the past and obviously, the present. She has always wanted to win, no matter the cost. I just had no idea that that cost would be your respect and trust, which is price much too high for her, let alone myself to pay.” Lukher confessed.

“Is that what you fear I will be like? Like her?” You asked him.

“No, I look in your eyes and I see no such cruelty or spite. I see you, I see your love and your honor and your courage and your loyalty, to the point that you were ready to abandon your home and your family- just to embrace me because you looked into my eyes and saw my soul just as much as I can see yours and you took such a great leap of faith and I will do all I can to catch you and never let you fall. I am not worthy of the wonder that you are.” Lukher confessed as he looked deeply into your eyes and held your face reverently in his hands, marveling at the sheer beauty in them.

“So why didn’t your father stop her from threatening his own children, his own sister and his own nieces and nephews?” You asked him.

“Because she did it behind his back and he only had a small window of time to overturn her and by the time he found out, it was too late and my mother blocked him and myself from everyone else and he and I are both very angry and upset with her for doing that. She is a very jealous woman and I honestly fear what she may try to do to you when she finds out that you have a power and hold over me stronger than she’s ever had or ever will again.” Lukher confessed.

“So she rules your family with an iron fist so to speak, and I need to be careful around her, if she had the whole clan convinced of my abilities, once they learned the truth that I had none, would she have had the whole clan turn on me too?” You asked as Lukher realized that that had been his mother’s point. She didn’t need to lift a finger if you did not live up to her own expectations, the whole clan would reject you if you didn’t. She had turned the clan against you before you ever had a chance to win them. She was sabatoging everything and everyone.

“I would never let that happen, but sadly, yes, please be careful around her, but I will protect you from all harm, even if it is from her, especially if it’s from her, no other would dare come against you.” Lukher advised you.

“When can she step down? From being Clan Chieftess? When can her reign of terror come to an end?” You asked.

“Once we have at least one son,” Lukher answered.

“So, a couple of years then at least.” You realized as you just shook your head softly as you focused on your task at hand to finish shaving his face cleanly.

“Living in fear is no way to live Lukher, it’s only a way to survive. I need you to teach me how to communicate with you best, especially with this sign language, since I don’t know how long it will be before you can no longer hear my voice. I need you to teach me how to not be like her too. And how to reassure your family and the clan that I will not be like her and that they have nothing to fear from me. I want your clan to not just survive but thrive and become stronger than it’s ever been before, and for each and every single person in the clan to know peace and prosperity and when they see me, to not be afraid but be happy to see me, and look to me as a friend and an ally who knows them and will fight for them and never against them and to not be the bully your mother is.” You requested.

“You’re already doing it though. Especially once everyone sees me without this beard and sees how I have healed, they don’t need to know exactly how, all they will see is that I went to bed with you broken and incomplete, and came out of bed healed and whole again. That will be more than enough. No one else needs to know the details, they just need to believe their own eyes and ears.” He insisted.

“But your mother also put a wedge between everyone and divided us all and everyone needs to learn about what you’ve just told me, everyone deserves to know the truth and needs to know where to put the blame. Sunco is not to blame for any of this. She was put into an impossible situation and was put under a threat that no one could have saved her and her family from. Family should stick together in unity. Not fear for their lives from within itself.” You insisted.

“I agree completely, I will do all I can to help bring the truth out, everyone is owed an explanation and an apology.” Lukher nodded in agreement as you could see he was determined to do so.

“Especially from your mother.” You insisted.

“Yes, especially from her. I’m so sorry I let her put a wedge between us, I want it removed and I never want anything to come between us ever again.” Lukher insisted.

“I only want that too. Please, from now on, don’t hide what you’re thinking or feeling from me. How can I help you if I don’t know what’s wrong? How can we fix problems together if we don’t both understand what they are and where they are? I didn’t come to put a wedge between you and your family but I will always do everything I can to be faithful to you, to be honest and forthcoming with you in all things, even if I have to reveal the ugly truth in others and especially myself to do it.” You vowed just as you finished and wiped the rest of the soap from his face to make sure you didn’t miss a spot and smiled when he was even handsomer without the beard.

“But there is no ugliness in you, you are beautiful from the inside out.” Lukher insisted.

“You don’t know all of me yet.” You gave him an apologetic smile before you appraised him again as the smile turned much more fond when you realized what an exquisitely good looking man you married.

“Well then so far, what I have seen and what I have heard, I can see no fault in it. But I will do my best to get to know you as well as I can and I openly invite you to do the same to me.” Lukher offered.

“Deal, I will be honest, you look even more handsome without the beard, even as mighty and impressive as it was.” You readily praised which got him to turn bashful.

“Nothing compared to your own beauty I’m sure.” Lukher cooed.

“Every person has beauty, some more on the outside than the inside and vice versa and I try to simply keep a balance between the two. I can only work with what I have and what I’m given. There is a saying that ‘strength and charm may be false and prettiness may be vain and fleeting, but it is who the gods see on the inside that counts’ and I would like to add, it’s what your mate finds on the inside too that counts and I want you to be just as happy with who and what I am as a person as you are with my face and my looks, if not more so- because the day will come when my looks will fade, as will yours, even as exquisite as it is, but hopefully our love never will. If anything I want it to grow to dwarf even what we feel right now.” You insisted and the words had barely left your mouth before Lukher pulled your face to his and kissed you deeply and passionately again before he picked you up with much more ease than he was able to do the day before and got you both into the tub before you maneuvered him to lay back.

“You got to ride me already, now I get to ride you.” You salaciously insisted as you seated yourself onto him, the still hot water relaxing you and your body as you now welcomed the sensation of him filling you so perfectly before your body and instincts took control once again as your senses were ignoring everything outside of Lukher and all that mattered was giving back all the pleasure he was giving to you as you really relished the feeling of his smooth face against yours and his beard and mustache no longer tickling you as his hands eagerly explored your body once again, his touch conveying his desire and his devotion and care as you were grateful this bathtub was more than big enough for both of you. It was wide enough that your knees could plant themselves on either side of his lower waist while your hips rolled and grinded onto him before he reached down and gently started to stroke your sensitive nub, the way you had been doing so for yourself as soon as you became sexually hungry.

“Mmm, just a little firmer.” You pleaded as your hands were on the crux of his neck and shoulders for balance as you ground down onto him and his touch while he was using his heels on the bottom of the tub to drive up into you, meeting each thrust and working your body and watching and reacting to how your body reacted to him before you reached back and put your hands behind you, on his lower thighs so that it would give his hand more room to work your clit better than you had ever done so yourself as Lukher was absolutely mesmerized by how your lower belly bulged ever so slightly from his cock spearing your core which only sparked his imagination of how your body would look, heavy with child and he wanted to instantly cum to make that a reality as quickly as possible. But he also knew you weren’t at orgasm yet and so he held off, focusing on his movements, rubbing your clit to the best of his ability, trying to find the right pressure, speed and movement before he did and your whole body tensed as you gasped.

“Right there, right there, right there, you got it, don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop!” You pleaded, saying the first half of that sentence in marinai before forcing yourself to switch back to nadasi but Lukher grinned victoriously to see you revert back to your mother tongue when he did manage to find the right touch, which was, granted, just a little different than what he thought it would be.

It was harder in touch than he had prepared himself for but slower than he thought it would be too but the tight circles because you were smaller than him and therefore your pussy was proportionately smaller too, but somehow able to take him. Which he thought was absolutely a wonder before your orgasm finally snapped and flooded your body again as you leaned farther back and let out the most glorious keening cry of pleasured bliss as Lukher watched in awe as he could practically see his cock pump his seed into you as your womb expanded once again which was even more mesmerizing and a primal part of Lukher wanted every drop of his seed to take root, over and over again before he pulled you back to kiss you once more and hold you in his arms as you both seemed to bask in the afterglow together.

Sunco had repeated to him that moura women were practically built to suit just about anyone and anything from the smaller species like gnome and goblin to anyone thier own size and up to anything like a minotaur, “normal” orcs up to goliaths. And only their own native orcs and larger, were too large for them. She told him that she was assured and reassured that mouras were supposed to be naturally gifted with very “stretchy” canals and very large and very strong and stout and super sturdy wombs that could safely carry any species of child from anywhere from 6 to 14 months depending on what the species of baby needed and a moura mother’s body always seemed to instinctively know and give whatever was needed and even had extra muscles and bones to help expand the pelvis and support the canal to stretch as large as it needed to deliver any baby of any size- within reason that is.

Since mouras were originally shapeshifters, that meant that their genetics were incredibly elastic and could easily take to any other with the same body alignment and structure of head, shoulders, arms, torso, pelvis, legs, feet in that order. Over the years, mouras had been practically “engineered” to be successful birthing machines. And a name both affectionate, yet derogatory depending on who was using it- was ‘walking uterus’.

But Lukher would be damned if such a term were used for you. You were so much more than just an organ. You were amazing, you were wonderful. You were kind and understanding and sympathetic even when you had no good reason to be.

Once you both recovered, you happily and carefully washed and cleaned each other before both of you got out of the water as Lukher let the tub drain as he put special robes around both fo you, the material that of a soft bath towel to help dry you off that much faster before you went back to the spread of food that was on the table next to the bed, finding contentment to eat lukewarm food if it meant that your privacy was not invaded as you happily sat across Lukher’s lap as he told you about the other dishes you weren’t familiar with as you told him about the other half of the foods there, explaining that this was customary for your own breakfast as you both sampled each other cuisines and both of you found that you liked each other’s food and were happy that some of the dishes were in fact quite similar.

Different flavor profiles because of the different spices used but the main components besides the spices were essentially the same, meat of some kind, prepared and spiced in a variety of ways, eggs, potatoes or other root vegetables, onion, garlic and spices and of course the variety of breads and cakes as well, even sweet confections which were quite good and the wide variety of fruits too as Lukher was especially happy when all the foreign fruits he got to try came from trees and bushes and you brought to add to the fortress’ gardens so he could continue to enjoy them for the rest of his life and especially happy when his favorites had already been planted in your gardens.

You had barely had your physical appetites sated before Lukher used his advantage of having you in his lap to feast upon you once more, his sexual appetite for you nearly insatiable before there was a knock on the door.

“Who’s there?” You asked as you and Lukher hastily hid your naked bodies under the covers to conceal your immodesty.

“It’s just me My Lady, I have lunch if you’re hungry for it.” Seyda answered before you looked back to Lukher who nodded yes to your questioning look.

“Yes please Sayda.” You answered before she came in, with the same staff as this morning as they quickly kept their gazes down but even they couldn’t hide their blushing cheeks and scheming smiles as they quickly replaced what was left of breakfast before seeing themselves out as quickly as they could.

“Now, this time, let’s have a hot meal.” You insisted to Lukher once the door was shut and locked once more before Lukher and yourself got some lunch as you took up your now comfortable place across his lap once more, happy that Lukher got to show off his own cuisine as you got to do the same as once again you both got to explore and experience each other’s cuisine and liking it before chatting the afternoon away, completely forgetting the outside world existed for a few glorious hours before came the inevitable, an interruption that preparations needed to become underway for that evening’s festivities.

“Do you have to leave me to get ready?” You asked Lukher sadly.

“No, my room is actually on the other side of that door there all I will need from you is to know what color you want to wear so I can match.” Lukher answered.

“Oh, good.” You beamed before you both got “dressed” in robes to receive your other attendants before Lukher introduced members of his own ‘household’ who were ecstatic that he had healed and could hear them much easier so that they didn’t have to rely on sign language to talk to him as Lukher walked with you into your closet that wasn’t really a closet at all, all along one of the walls were drawers full of undergarments of all kinds as the other three walls were lined garment racks with complete outfits on hangers, hanging stately on them and even more rows of clothes all on more garment racks on wheels through the room as you were once again delightfully overwhelmed with the sheer magnitude of what to pick as your other wedding suits were still on their original hangers and on their same rolling garment racks as you recognized that they had simply been wheeled into the room from last night as you picked out your second choice that had been one of your original three to choose from the day before.

Then Lukher asked for his own matching suit that corresponded with this choice be brought to him so he could get dressed with you only a small privacy screen between each of you and each other’s attendants so that each other’s attendants would not be able to see the other’s nakedness before you were seated down on your vanity and applied with new makeup while your hair was done again, the attendants grateful it was freshly washed so that your hair was soft and silky and perfectly manageable as Lukher’s own hair was restrained with dignity before a matching turban was brought to him while another headdress was brought to you for you to wear before Lukher himself decided which jewels would best suit what you were wearing and help bring out your astounding natural beauty before you once again only dabbed a little of your new favorite perfume on before you took Lukher’s arm and went with him to another private audience chamber to finally have a conversation that you had wanted to have all day with his family and the envoy and the high councilors who had just woken up extra early to have this conversation- because now, the truth was going to come out, one way or another and it was time to get some answers.

#Burn Without You #Burn Without You Chapter 16 #hopefully it was worth the wait #a lemon #possibly a grapefruit #I tried to focus on the feeling instead of the anatomy and mechanics #and come from an emotional approach #I know I am a lemon flavored factory I know #i'm trying to grow #I feel like I'm failing most of the time but I'm trying #moura #orcs #orc love story

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obsidianfr3sk · 3 years

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true colors

@renegadesnet event 10: pride

↪ [ “But everything was temporary. And pain was one of those things. Well, except love. Everything but love was temporary. Or that was what he liked to believe.” ]

Summary: Two years after the supernova, after Tamaya notified them the gearboxes that contained the lights had gotten soaked and that she needed the money to buy more before the next day (June 1st), Simon realized they were not enough for him anymore.

Simon wanted a bigger flag.

No. He wanted two. The biggest pride flags he could find.

AO3

Hello, friends!! I hope you’ve been having an excellent pride month and have been eating a lot rainbow cake and pissing off a lot of conservatives with the mere fact of your wonderful existence:’) As my contribution to this month and the event organized by @renegadesnet, I decided to write a fic focused on my favorite gay dads and their sons (bc I’m me, and you should have seen this coming.)

Before you read, I want to give a trigger warning: at the start of a fic I talk about a homophobic attack, which is not graphic or violent per se (it’s someone in the middle of the night taking away the flag they put outiside the house), and I do discuss about internalized homophobia during some parts of the story. If you read it and are sensitive to this kind of stuff, proceed with caution and take care of yourself <3

Also, this entry is a collaboration with my talented mother @healing-winston-pratt, who is going to be uploading some fanart of this in a near future, so keep an eye on that👀 she’s the best skjhkjds thank you for accepting to collaborate, I feel this is a great bonding activity and I hope we can do this more often✨

I need to update my tag list because a lot of the people who were included are not active as active as they were before/changed their URLs. But I’m going to tag @the-wee-woo-rita @lackadae @all-weather-is-bad @chiyuki-hiro bc you guys are the only ones who are still active users who I had on my previous tag list lol

With that said, I hope you enjoy this fic. I think that despite the angsty parts, it came out really fluffy and domestic, it was fun to write. And to all my queer silbings who are reading this: I am very proud of you.

But I see your true colors shining through.

I see your true colors, and that's why I love you.

So don't be afraid to let them show.

Your true colors,

true colors are beautiful like a rainbow

Simon couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t know he was gay.

There was a time when he didn’t know he was gay, of course. He was probably too young to even comprehend the meaning behind that word. And there was also a moment in his life when he felt embarrassed about it, and sad, and angry, and really, really scared, and probably thought that no matter how hard he tried, he was never going to be happy living the life he wanted to live.

That the pain was never going to end. That he was going to be miserable for the rest of his existence, and that maybe, there was no point in existing if he was going to stay like that until the day he died.

But everything was temporary. And pain was one of those things.

Well, except love. Everything but love was temporary. Or that was what he liked to believe.

That was the reason why, the first year after the Day of Triumph, he told Hugh they should get a rainbow flag for their house. They went to one of the first stores that opened at the mall (that had just been remodeled after twenty years of being abandoned) and bought one at a not so affordable price. Simon offered himself to install it on one of the fence pillars and had to spend thirty minutes listening to Hugh telling him that maybe he should let him do it, that the ladder Kasumi had lent them was ratty, and that Simon was going to fall.

Fortunately, Simon didn’t. He did almost fall, though, when he was about to pass out from stress because seeing Hugh getting all anxious, made Adrian cry and he started to basically beg him to come down, given that now he was convinced he was going to fall, and hearing his dad saying “Look what you’ve done to the kid, Simon” didn’t help at all to make Adrian (or Simon) feel better.

That night, there was a thunderstorm and Adrian used it as an excuse to sleep on their bed. As soon as he cried himself to sleep, two hours later, after their dads did everything in their power to calm him down, hugging him, giving him kisses, and assuring him his aunt Tamaya wasn’t going to let the storm hurt them, Simon raised his hand to high-five Hugh and tell him that they were amazing parents, just to realize he was already asleep. Simon silently judged him for sleeping so soundly while his son was having a crisis instead of sleeping.

When he woke up (at five in the morning) Adrian was looking out their window, with the Baby Indomitable blanket on his shoulders. The sky was still cloudy, but it wasn’t raining anymore.

“Darling, what are you doing?,” Simon told him. “Today’s Sunday. Let your daddy and I get some more sleep—”

“The storm took our flag,” Adrian blurred out.

Hugh was already awake too. “What?”

“You said the storm wasn’t going to hurt us,” Adrian said, turning around to see them, “but the storm took our flag.”

Simon got out of bed, looked through the window...

And, yes, the flag was completely gone.

But for some reason, Simon knew it hadn’t been the storm.

“Why would the storm do something like this?” Adrian asked.

Simon didn’t know how to answer that. Luckily, Hugh did.

“Because the storm is homophobic, son.”

Adrian laughed out loud and then asked his dads if they could have pancakes for breakfast. He had already forgotten about the storm and the flag.

They didn’t. Neither of them ever forgot about it.

While Simon and Adrian ate their pancakes, Hugh went to his office because, according to him, he needed to check something. When Adrian finished his breakfast and went back to his dads’ room to watch TV, Simon stayed in the kitchen, doing the dishes, and Hugh finally came downstairs. He was pretty quiet, and Simon thought that it probably was because he had told him to eat the burnt pancakes he didn’t dare to throw away, but after he finished them all, he said:

“I lied.”

Simon threw a glance at him. “When did you lie?”

“When I said the storm was homophobic,” Hugh answered.

“Well, of course, you lied, love. Storms don’t have strong political opinions about gay people.”

Hugh didn’t laugh. “What I mean is— that it wasn’t the storm.”

Every joke Simon’s brain could come up with disappeared at that moment. So he continued doing the dishes, and Hugh, thinking he hadn’t made himself clear, continued talking.

“It was someone else. It was a person. I saw them on—”

“I know,” Simon interrupted him. “I know. I’ve always known.”

But even if Simon knew, he still told Hugh to show him the footage because four eyes were better than two (especially considering that the owner of those first two eyes needed to wear glasses). It was all useless, though; the storm made the image all blurry, and the only thing they could see was someone taking it and running away in the middle of the night.

Simon wanted to think that it was just some dumb teen whose friends had challenged him to do it. But when it came to things like those one never really knew.

On Monday, they had promised Adrian to take him to the park that was a few blocks away so they could teach him how to fly a kite, but the thought of going out made him feel as if something bad was going to happen to them if they did, so Simon told Adrian that he and Hugh were feeling sick and that they would stay in their room to get some rest. Adrian asked them if they minded that he stayed there too because he was in the middle of watching a movie he had never seen before.

“Only if we can watch it with you,” Simon answered.

It was a weird day to be alive. They really just stayed there, watching silly cartoons with their kid and listening to him ranting about the weird proportions those characters had.

During the afternoon, Adrian told them he was hungry, so Simon went downstairs to look for something they could eat. He was thinking that maybe they should order something from that Chinese restaurant Tamaya had taken him the other day, when Hugh entered the kitchen and told him Adrian had asked him if he could bring him water.

Simon felt his hands were trembling while he looked inside his wallet for the paper where he had written the restaurant’s phone number.

“Do you want to get another flag?” Hugh asked him.

And something hurt.

Something hurt inside of him. Something started to cry, and to scream, and to flicker, trying to make him invisible to the world.

And it told him, the same way Adrian had told him he was hungry, that someone had taken him by surprise and made a deep cut on his chest.

But Simon didn’t allow it to come out.

He just said: “No.”

And Hugh answered him: “Me neither.”

He called the Chinese restaurant to order some food, while Simon went to their room with Adrian again and cuddled with him, trying to tend to the wounds of that something that was bleeding out inside of him.

Little Simon was crying, and screaming, and flickering, and needed adult Simon to take care of him.

The next day, they talked about the incident with the rest of the Council during their lunch break. It was one of those few occasions the six of them were together in the same room during their work hours. Tamaya was furious about the flag situation. She ranted for a good five minutes without anyone interrupting her about how fucking horrible people were and that she was going to find that little piece of shit and cut his hands off. Kasumi nodded in approval while drinking some horchata she had bought for herself, probably thinking about how to ask Tamaya to let her join her revolution (something she didn’t need to do, since Tamaya always included Kasumi in everything she did). Evander, on the other hand, was very quiet, something that made him feel a little bit relieved because he was not a sensitive person and Simon didn’t want him to... Evander the situation.

He didn’t say anything insensitive that day, though.

In fact, he said something… helpful, even.

“What about a flag made of light?”

Hugh rubbed his eyes and Simon knew what he was going to say before he opened his mouth.

Because he said that phrase constantly.

“Shut the fuck up, Evander.”

But Evander didn’t shut up. “Dude, think about it. No one would be able to take down a flag made of light.”

And everyone realized that, now, it was not only one of those strange occasions when the six of them got together to have lunch during their work hours; it was also one of those strange occasions when Evander had an idea that was actually good.

So after spending another hour discussing how they were going to make it work, they decided they were going to lit up the building in rainbow-colored lights.

Tamaya and Hugh were the ones in charge of almost all the operation because Evander said he had already given them the idea, so he didn’t need to do anything else (and then got mad at Hugh when he told the media he was the one who came up with it). Kasumi helped them, but was especially insistent about putting a trans pride flag somewhere in the building, and after they agreed with her, she personally hung it on the main entrance of Headquarters.

They started turning the lights on each night of June since that yeat.

Hugh and Simon still didn’t get a flag. Three nights after they told their friends about what had happened during the thunderstorm, Simon was woken up by the sound of someone crashing against the trash cans and almost jumped out of the window with his dagger on hand to slay whoever was trying to break into their house, but when he peeked out to see what was going on, he realized the “robber” was Kasumi, who had put a bunch of small pride flags on some pots they kept on their porch and started crying as soon as she realized Simon was watching her, not because she was upset the surprise she had for them had been ruined, but because now she was covered in trash.

(That week was like a sign Georgie was sending them from the afterlife to tell them they needed to install a better security system.)

Those were the only flags they kept around the house. They were small and discreet, and, most importantly, no one had taken them away. Why? Well— because they listened to Georgie’s sign and installed a better security system. Not because there weren’t any more homophobes out there who were willing to do it.

Until that moment, those flags (the little ones Kasumi had given them in a rather unconventional way and the one made of light that Evander had come up with) had been more than enough for them. But, two years after the supernova, after Tamaya notified them the gearboxes that contained the lights had gotten soaked and that she needed the money to buy more before the next day (June 1st), Simon realized they were not enough for him anymore.

Simon wanted a bigger flag.

No. He wanted two.

The biggest pride flags he could find.

***

That was the reason why, after having pancakes for breakfast (because it had rained during the night), he took the car, took the other three people living in that house with him, and after he was able to read the map, they arrived at a store that, among other things, sold flags like the ones they were looking for.

“I want one too,” Adrian told them when they were at the flag section of the store. “For my room, you know. And I want to get ones for Danna and Nova because I don’t think they have any. They would’ve told me.”

Usually, when Adrian asked for something Simon hadn’t agreed to buy him, like some candy, an action figure, or a pair of sneakers, he would turn around and ask him if he had the money to buy any of those things himself, which would anger him so much he would stop wanting that certain thing.

But that day, he felt like buying them everything they wanted. As if money grew on trees (something he always told his kids didn’t happen.)

“Of course, darling,” he answered, “get them everything you want. It’s pride month.”

“It’s May 31th,” Max said. He was inside the shopping cart Hugh had grabbed the second they entered. It was something he always did, even if they weren’t going to buy a lot of things because, according to him, it felt weird and wrong not to.

“It’s almost pride month,” he corrected himself.

“So can I get something for Nova?” Adrian asked again, just to make sure.

“You can get something for Nova,” Hugh assured him, smiling a little bit.

Adrian quickly turned around and started looking for the flag he wanted while texting Nova about something Simon couldn’t read (not like he was trying to, anyway).

After making sure Adrian stayed on the same aisle as them, they started walking around, gazing at the flags and posters available. Simon felt pretty progressive because he was able to name every single sexuality and gender they were supposed to represent. He imagined Hugh was doing the same thing, but with a lot more difficulty than him. He kept his eyes fixated on each flag longer than Simon did, as if he were trying to remember what they meant, and when he did, he pushed the cart (with Max still inside of it, playing a game on Hugh’s phone because he had forgotten his tablet at home), and the cycle began again.

But suddenly, Simon saw ones that he didn’t recognize.

After three seconds of standing in front of those little flags, someone hit him in the butt with their cart. He turned around immediately, ready to say a really threatening “Hey” to whoever had done it.

Hugh was the only other person who was there. He had been the one who had hit him with the cart.

Suddenly, Simon felt a little bit stupid for thinking someone else had done it.

The two of them maintained eye contact for a couple of seconds until Hugh started looking at his own hands grabbing the cart’s handle.

“Simon.” Before Simon could ask him what happened, he added, with a deep voice: “Move.”

Simon didn’t move. Instead, he hit the cart with his hips, just out of spite. Hugh hit him again with it, making Simon feel the unexpected need to grab the cart with his two hands and use his own weapon against him, but Max was there and they couldn’t act like kids in front of him. So he just hit the cart with his hips again, a little bit harder than the first time, and left it there.

He realized he was just going to be wasting his time asking Hugh if he knew what that flag was supposed to represent.

“Cherub,” he called Max. “Do you recognize this flag?”

Max looked up from the screen. He usually didn’t like it when he called him “cherub” in public, but this time, he didn’t seem mad about it. “Um… no? Ask Adrian—” and continued playing.

Adrian came back with a basket full of pins, and for a second, Simon almost asked him if he really was that naive to believe he was actually going to pay for all of them. But then, he realized that it was only the basket where they kept all of the pins they sold and that Adrian had taken it to show them to them.

“Look, they have so many pins here—” he started taking random pins “—this is the aromantic flag… this is the genderfluid flag—”

“Interesting,” Hugh interrupted him, “but which flag is that one?” and pointed at the one Simon didn’t recognize.

Max took a random pin from the basket and started looking at it with curiosity. Adrian almost didn’t pay attention to it, and after a few seconds, he said: “That one’s yours.”

Simon frowned and took one. It was a handheld flag with green and blue stripes, with a white one in the middle. He touched the polyester with his fingertips as if that was going to give him the ability to communicate with it.

“But we don’t have a flag,” Hugh told Adrian. “I’ve heard of the lesbian fl—”

Adrian took a pin of the lesbian flag. “This one.”

“Yeah— but gay men don’t have one.”

“The rainbow is ours,” Simon said, without taking his eyes away from the blue and green flag he was holding. “Like, it’s for all queer people.”

Hugh directed his attention to Adrian again. “You’re messing with us.”

“I do mess with you a lot,” Adrian admitted, “but this time I’m not because if I do and you get mad, you won’t buy me all the stuff I want to get.”

“Huh.”

Simon knew Adrian and Max were a lot of things, but "dumb" wasn't one of those. And Adrian was especially intelligent when it came to convincing his parents to buy him things.

So he decided to believe him.

“Well, I like it,” he said. Then, he asked Hugh: “Do you like it?”

Hugh grabbed one and observed it for a while. “I like that it has blue on it,” he finally answered, nodding a little bit.

Simon noticed Max was spacing out while playing with the pin he had taken, so he waved the flag on his face, making him laugh and sneeze because the damn thing had a lot of invisible dust Simon didn't notice at first.

“Oh, sh—”

“You know? Maybe we should get two of these,” Hugh said, waving it too, but in his case, not on the face of one of their kids. “For our offices.”

“Matching flags, very romantic.”

Max rubbed his nose. “Why don't you get a big one for the house?”

Simon quickly started to look everywhere on that aisle, and he saw a lot of big versions of the flags he had recognized before (and some of the ones Adrian had mentioned), but there were no gay flags in sight.

“Maybe next year, I guess,” he shrugged. “I don't think they have them here yet.”

He grabbed two of the rainbow flags that were there, inside their respective plastic bags, gave them to Max, and he put them on his lap, still holding that pin. Simon made a quick mental note to remind his future self they needed to pay for that (he didn’t know if it had to with the fact that Max had been spending a lot of time with Maggie, Nova’s sister, but he had developed this weird habit of stealing the most random objects one could think of. Luckily, he limited himself to stealing things from his dads and, one time, from a store.) (Kids went through weird phases when they were Max’s age.)

(Because… it was a phase, right?)

Adrian received a text. “Danna says that she already has a flag, so I’m getting her a pin,” he said after reading it. “And Nova says she wants one too.” Then, his whole face lit up. “And I could get one too so we match.”

“Copycat,” Simon accused him, jokingly. “Your dad and I got matching flags, and now you want to get matching pins with your girlfriend.”

Hugh shook his head, disappointed. “I cannot believe you have betrayed your own family like this.”

They stayed at the store another 30 minutes to buy some other things they needed for the house, and from time to time, when he or Hugh grabbed something, they pretended they didn’t see Adrian and said: “Um, but the copycat may be listening” to a point he told them to stop, and refused to forgive them until they agreed to buy him the flag he didn’t intend to get anymore, but now was going to.

He got the last bisexual flag there was at that store.

***

The first time the four of them were together in their room was last June. Something went wrong with the A/C system of the entire house and the only room where one could stay without having a heatstroke was theirs because their A/C hadn’t broken down for some reason. Adrian and Max were sleeping on the air mattress until Simon (who hadn’t been able to sleep lately) heard that one of them woke up and asked Hugh something. He sat down on the bed, at the same time Hugh moved a little bit to allow Adrian to lay down between the two of them.

Then, in the middle of the dark, his eyes met Max’s.

He looked tiny. Young. Pretty young.

And far away.

Simon couldn’t remember who did it. He didn’t remember who talked that night. It could have been him, even. But he was sure that, at that moment, someone whispered:

“Get in here, kid.”

And Max obeyed. He crawled, raised his arms towards them, and Hugh grabbed him carefully by the collar of his shirt and placed him between him and Adrian.

It was a peaceful night. The bed was big enough for the four of them, and Simon was able to sleep and actually rest for the first time in weeks.

At least until their A/C turned off with a weird sound, and the four of them woke up at the same time, sweaty, uncomfortable, and almost at 11 AM, not because they weren’t necessarily willing to stay there longer, but because the heat was starting to get unbearable and suddenly the bed was too small for three adults and a little kid that was not that little anymore.

“This isn’t a room, this is a— a freaking oven,” Hugh said, while Adrian tried to push him out of bed to get the hell out of there and seek comfort on the air mattress he had abandoned in the middle of the night.

“And we are the... cookies,” Max giggled.

“The turkey,” Simon added.

Max turned around. His whole face was red and his hair was a little bit wet. “The lasagna.”

Simon grabbed him by the cheeks; a discreet way to check if he had a fever. “The cake.”

“The ham.”

“The—”

“Dad. Move.”

Later that day, Simon called someone to fix the A/C, and that was the end of the story.

When they arrived at the house, Adrian wanted to hang his flag as soon as possible, on one of his room’s walls, but Simon insisted that they should iron it first so it looked nicer. Hugh said that he was planning on ironing the ones they had bought for the house and offered Adrian to do the same with his, but when he insinuated that he didn’t trust him enough not to mess up his flag the same way he had messed up his favorite shirt (the one he wanted to wear to take Nova to a nice place during her birthday), Hugh reminded him that the only reason he kept doing that for him was that Adrian didn’t know how to iron yet, and decided that he was going to use that moment as a teaching opportunity. Max made the mistake of laughing at his brother when he thought no one was paying attention to him, but Adrian was and dragged Max into the teaching opportunity with him.

Simon joined too. Just because.

And suddenly, the four of them were in their room again.

With the A/C on, of course.

He didn't know if Hugh had noticed, but he had been so invested in his own explanation, that after he finished ironing the two rainbow flags, he started ironing Adrian’s without realizing it. Adrian, instead of giving up and stop pretending he was paying attention, was looking, kind of mesmerized, how he opened the bag of his blue, purple, and magenta flag, and proceeded to put it on the ironing board, now telling him that when Georgie had tried to teach him how to iron his clothes, she accidentally burnt Evander.

Simon was half-listening to the story, half-listening to the music video that Max was watching on the TV. He was sitting on a big and old ottoman they had bought a long time ago but had never found the perfect place to put it and just stayed there for years until they forgot about it. Max was in front of him, sitting on the floor and resting his back on the ottoman, while he covered his blond hair with small butterfly hair clips he had found at the store and bought just because he thought they were cute (who knows, maybe Nova wanted them for Maggie, or Kasumi could use them for herself, she loved them when she was little).

When all the hair clips were on Max's hair, he took a small mirror they kept in the bathroom (but Simon borrowed it for a minute) and gave it to him so he could see the final result.

“Look at me,” Max exclaimed, laughing. “I look so pretty.”

Simon grabbed one of the hair clips and pulled it a little. “Butterfly hair clips are a popular trend this time of the year.”

“This is definitely going to make me the most popular kid in the playground.”

“Definitely.”

He leaned forward to start taking the butterfly hair clips off Max's hair and was putting them on Max’s open hand when he noticed that he hadn’t let go of the pin they bought him at the store.

(Simon did remember to pay for the thing, but if he hadn’t done it, Max wouldn’t have said anything.)

“That was really nice of you,” Simon said.

Max looked at him, confused. “What?”

“Getting a rainbow pin—” he took his other hand and started putting the hair clips on it so none of them would get lost “—to show support.”

Max didn't say anything and Simon continued with what he was doing. After the music video finished, and another one started playing, Hugh gave Adrian his flag and told him he could go and hang it in his room, and as soon as Max heard that too, he gave Simon the hair clips and followed his brother out of the room, asking him if he could help him with it.

Simon, after realizing the bag where the hair clips came in had been destroyed by Max punching holes in it with the pin, took one of the empty pill bottles he kept in his drawers and put them there.

He closed the pill bottle and realized Hugh had been gazing at him during all this time, slightly leaning on the ironing board. “What?”

“That’s my pill bottle, Si,” he told him.

“Ah—” Simon pressed his lips “—can I have it?”

“No.” Hugh smiled at him. “Yes, you can.”

“So funny. Come here—” and patted the bed mattress.

Hugh, being extremely careful not to touch the flags he just ironed, lied on the bed and sighed.

“Do you want me to play with your hair?” Simon asked him with a soft voice.

He closed his eyes and nodded.

After a while of the two of them just being silent, he said, “Hey… I heard what you told Max, by the way.”

“The butterfly hair clips trend?”

“The pin thing.”

“What about it?”

Hugh opened his eyes, just a little bit. “Just don't tell Max I told you, all right? Because he told me he wouldn't tell anyone else until he was sure, but… I think it's important the two of us know,” he explained.

Simon was starting to feel his palms get a little bit sweaty. “Okay— but just tell me, please.”

He checked overhearing their conversation one last time, and that the kids were still at Adrian's room. “Max told me a couple of days ago that he has been thinking about… what he likes.”

He stopped playing with his hair for a second. But then, he continued.

It was his way of coping with the feeling of his stomach twisting inside of him. “What he likes?” Hugh nodded again. “Huh. And has he— does he has an idea or—”

“No, he doesn't,” Hugh answered. “He just knows that he doesn't like girls. Or that's what he told me.”

Simon raised his eyebrows and scoffed. “That sounds like a lot of things. Not liking girls.”

Hugh scoffed too. “That's what I told him. And that he can take all the time he needs to figure it out. Because he can—”

“Yes. Yes, of course, he can,” Simon assured, with determination. “Life is longer than we think it is.”

They stayed silent again. And Simon couldn’t help but feel relive inside his head the moment he called Max an ally, feeling his stomach twisting even more at every second it passed.

“I feel bad.”

“Why?”

His palms started to sweat again. “Because I called him an ally.”

“It’s all right. You didn’t know.”

“I shouldn’t have assumed anything.”

“You didn’t know,” Hugh repeated.

But Simon didn’t listen. “Si.”

Then, Hugh grabbed him carefully by the wrist, and, a little bit surprised, Simon tilted his head. Hugh usually didn't interrupt him when he was playing with his hair.

“What's wrong?” he asked.

“No, what’s wrong with you?” he deadpanned

Simon knew him well enough to know he wasn’t trying to be rude. It was just his way of asking things. Especially when he was genuinely worried and didn’t think about modulating his tone so it It fitted the situation better.

He sighed. Because he didn’t want to lie to him. “I assumed Max was straight.”

As soon as he said it, he realized how silly it had sounded phrased like that. But he also noticed his voice had broken and he had to put a hand on his mouth so he didn’t start crying.

And Hugh, instead of saying the encouraging phrase he expected him to say…

He smiled.

And for some reason, that made him want to cry even more. “Ew, why are you smiling?” he asked.

Hugh took his time to answer him. “Oh, it’s nothing. I think I'm just… happy.”

“Well, I’m not.”

Hugh smiled more. “I know, love, I know… It's just one of those things…” he tried to find the right words this time. “One of those things I didn't think we were going to go through together,” he kept saying. “Like… we're going to be together when Max finally discovers who he really is. Like we did with Adrian. And like other people did with us. And that makes me happy.”

Simon wanted to tell him to shut up and let him cry and be dramatic as much as he wanted because he considered he deserved it. But he tried to do it, the only thing that could come out of his lips was almost imperceptible “Yeah…” and then, a small tear started running down his face. Hugh quickly noticed this and wiped it away with his finger. Simon scoffed and looked away, rubbing his nose.

“Hey…” and he moved aside so Simon could lay beside him.

The space they had was a little too small but he didn’t mind because now he had an excuse to be closer to him.

And there it was again. Little Simon. Little Simon was there again with them.

Just that this time he wasn’t crying, or screaming, or even flickering. He was just… existing.

And all he wanted to do was to exist.

When Hugh held him that way, sometimes he felt as if it was the first time he did it. Which made Simon (and the sad, angry and scared part of Simon) wonder if there was a sad, angry and scared part of Hugh that also craved that comfort and validation, and if it was the one who hugged that younger version of Simon until they convinced each other that everything was fine.

That there was nothing wrong with neither of them.

Because sometimes it was as if people didn’t remind them that as many times as they needed. So the only option they had was to be there for the other, and tell him that it was okay to hug, to kiss, to touch, and to share until the one who was talking ended up convincing both of them.

Love wasn’t temporary.

And their love was as powerful as they wanted it to be.

Those younger versions of themselves wanted to stay like that forever every single time. But their adult versions knew they couldn’t do it because they had other responsibilities that they needed to attend.

Installing those two pride flags that were next to them, for example.

Their younger versions were excited to do that, but they also asked them if they could rest together a little bit longer. And neither of them had the heart to tell them no.

Hugh started to play with a lock of Simon’s hair. “We’ll be there to catch him.”

He knew he wasn’t talking about either of them. Even if, with his eyes closed, he could see little Hugh and little Simon holding each other’s hands and throwing themselves into the world, a little less sad, and angry, and scared than before, without being sure if there was going to be someone down there to catch them if everything went wrong.

“Together.”

And Simon agreed. “Together.”

***

“He’s going to fall.”

Simon rolled his eyes.

“No, he’s not,” Hugh told Max. “I’m here.”

“But what if—”

“Done,” Simon announced before Max could even finish his sentence. “Now, let’s just hope these things stay there as long as possible, because this ladder makes me anxious. I was trembling while putting the first flag.”

Max clicked his tongue. “It’s a windy day. The wind could have pushed the ladder or something.”

Now it was Hugh’s turn to roll his eyes. “Take my hand.”

Simon went down the ladder without letting go of his hand. Then, while Hugh took it and quickly went inside the garage to put it there, Adrian pricked his little brother up with his own rainbow flag pin, and in response, Max punched him in the stomach with all his might (which wasn’t that much). Adrian laughed and pretended to be hurt, but immediately asked him if he wanted him to help him with his pin.

Simon noticed that Adrian had already put his pin of the bisexual flag on his clothes, and watching him pull Max a little bit closer so he didn’t prink him again (now by accident), while Max gazed at his hands, trying to memorize his movements so he could do the same thing when he wanted to wear that pin again, made his mouth curved into a smile.

When his husband came back from the garage, he thought he was going to tell them to stop blocking the sidewalk and get in the house so they could continue with their day. But instead of doing that, he walked towards them and looked at their waving flags, flying on their mansion for the first time in years.

Adrian grabbed Max by the waist and carried him on his shoulders so he could have a better view. And he realized that there would be a day when they would throw themselves into the world completely alone, without knowing how people were going to act and aware that two of them were brave enough to take whatever blows that they were going to throw at them.

But they weren’t going to do it alone. Because Hugh, Simon, and their hurting parts weren’t going to spend a day without reminding them that they were going to be there, ready to catch them every single time they needed it.

Simon started to look for Hugh’s hand just to realize, Hugh was already looking for his too, and when they found each other, he couldn’t contain himself and stood on his tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. Then, Hugh smiled and kissed him back, this time, on the corner of his lip.

Simon felt proud of what they were.

He was really proud.

And he hoped they were proud too.

#renegades #archenemies #supernova #renegades trilogy #hugh everhart #simon westwood #adrian everhart #max everhart #everhart-westwood family #the warden and the captain are sitting in a tree #obsi's writs #i should get an oscar for the homophobic storm joke

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daydreamingintheimpalax · 3 years

Text

Four No’s and a Yes.

Prompt: Write about someone who gets proposed to five times on Christmas Eve.

Warnings: None, cuteness, fluff i guess lol

Dean x Reader (Childhood friends)

Chritsmas Eve 2016.

The Y/L/N’s house was decorated to the T, Mrs. Y/L/N always went all out for Christmas and to say Dean loved it was an understatement. Dean had grown up next door to y/n and her family all his life, every Christmas was spent with his best friend and her family, their families took turns every year on which family would host the big Christmas dinner. It was Christmas eve, this year, Y/n’s family was hosting Christmas Eve and Day.

He watched as you sat down across from him, the same way you did every year, this time your boyfriend of almost a year sitting next to you. Dean frowned but for the most part accepted him and tried to make Carl as welcome as possible.

It’s not that he disliked the guys she dated, he just never thought they were good enough for his best friend, it had nothing to do with the fact he’d been inlove wih you almost all his life, despite what Sam and his parents had to say about it.

The meal conversations began, Dean smiled as he watched Sam’s wife wipe a smudge of food off his brothers face before then placing a small peck on his cheek. He was imsensely happy for his little brother, he had tried to find love himself but despite all the girls that came and went, none were ever good enough to bring home to Mary and John, none ever compared to, well, you.

“So Dee, any news about that girl you took out last week? She seemed nice.” You ask, shoving a fork of ham into your mouth, he chuckles watching before he replies, “uh no, didn’t pan out, first date and she was already naming our kids.” He shakes his head, cringing. Y/N makes a funny grossed out face, “Yikes, stage 5 clinger”, Dean smirks, “Exactly, not my style, sweetheart.”

“Sweetheart?” Carl pipes up, raising an eyebrow at Dean. Right, Carl hated when Dean called you by a pet name, sucks for him doesn’t it. Dean shrugs, y/n reassures him its just for fun, that they’ve been friends forever and Dean’s the only other man allowed to call her that. Carl doesn’t seem happy but strugs it off.

It’s almost 9 Pm when Carl speaks, he stands up from the tables, everyone having had a few rounds of wine by now and 50 conversations going on at once. He clears his troat, tapping his champagne glass with his fork, everyone stops, their attention on him.

“Well, this has been an amazing night, y/n your family is incredible, i’m so happy to have shared this holiday with you all, but tonight, i want to share another moment with you guys, i know how important family is to y/n and i want to make sure i do this right.” He pauses, grabbing y/n’s hand and pulling her up, Dean can see the look on her face, shes shocked and confused, not sure what the hell Carl thinks he’s doing.

He pulls something out of his pocket, Dean lets out a soft groan before taking a huge chug of his beer, Sam pats his back, a silent signal asking if he’s okay. He shrugs it off.

“Y/n, i know we haven’t been together as long as other people, but my love for you has no limits, we are a perfect match and you’re a perfect part of me, you make me better, i love you so much, and i don’t want to waste anymore time,”

He gets down on one knee, Dean watches, slightly angrily as y/n gasps, she slightly looks at Dean and he can see the panicked look on her face, she’s not ready for this, he’s ambushed her.

“Y/n Y/l/n, would you do me the honor of being my wife, my partner in crime, my forever.” Dean rolls his eyes, his mother swatting his arm and giving him a disapproving look. Y/n stays silent, looking around as everyone watches her, Then, she bolts.

Dean chases after her to see if she’s okay.

Carl was never seen again after that night.

Christmas Eve 2017

Christmas was different this year, Their parents had decided they wanted a break from cooking, so they had booked a cruise for vacation, not telling any of their kids until last minute.

Sam and Jess had decided to have Christmas with her family now that they were expecting their first child. Sam was over the moon at the chance to be a dad, he was going to be an amazing one.

Dean checks the tickets, finding the seats and throwing the jackets over them, y/n heads towards him, sitting next to him in her own seat and she hands him his beer and the hotdogs she grabbed. Dean was lucky he booked last minute tickets to the wrestling match, not surprised that even on Christmas eve, the stadium was booked solid.

They enjoy the fights, they’re small local fights, no big names, but they both enjoy it, laughing and enjoying their time together as best friends, it’s been a while. Since she started dating Max four months ago, he barely sees her, he’s insecure, especially when Dean’s around, probably because Dean’s twice his size in height and muscle, but that’s not his problem. Max starts fights with y/n anytime they hang out, so for her sake, he keeps his distance, waiting for her to call him for a hangout instead.

An hour in and it’s break time, they sit and chat, and before they know it, a voice is speaking over the PA system. “Sorry to interupt everyone, but since we are on a break, it seems like the perfect time to do this. Y/n Y/l/N, if you wouldn’t mind looking up at the jumbotron, we have a message for you from Max.”

Y/n’s eyes go wide, she looks at Dean curiously and he shrugs, just as confused. She looks at the screen, Max’s smiling face on the screen as he’s handed the microphone.

“Y/n, i know this is random and out of the blue, but you make me really happy, i know you’re not big on attention and big romantic gestures, but i wanted to do something memorable, so, i was hoping you’d be down for being my wife, will you Marry me?” he speaks, Dean almost can’t believe it, what was with these losers, she deserved to be proposed to, but not so soon and definitely not on the spot, she hated grand gestures that drew attention to her. Y/n barely knew what she wanted to do with her life, let alone to settle down.

Y/N starts breathing heavy, tears forming as she starts to panic at the whole stadium now staring at her and waiting for her answer, and just like that, yet again, she tries to run but Dean stops her, suggesting they go outside and talk to Max privately before she has a complete anxiety attack.

Another douchebag he never sees again.

Christmas Eve 2018

Another year, another Christmas Eve, y/n is sitting on Deans couch, the two of them got stuck at the airport due to a snow storm and aren’t making it home for Christmas. They had driven back to Dean’s place and she decided to crash with him, She’d just broken up with her recent douchebag boyfriend and wasn’t in happy spirits. She lies on his couch, sniffling as she watches her favoirte Christmas movie, which is currently everything on the hallmark channel.

Dean sits next to her, her feet in his lap as he messages her feet, warming them up from the cold.

“Am i ever going to find the right guy? i mean, at this point it’s become a pattern, every fucking Christmas i end up single and alone, i should just give up finding the perfect guy.” She shrugs, wiping away a stray tear.

Dean sighs, “First off, you’re not alone, you have me. Second, you pick crappy guys, you have shitty ass taste. Give it time, sweetheart, the perfect guy for you is out there, and you’ll find him, you’re just looking in the wrong places.” Dean assures her and she gives him a dry chuckle.

“Oh yea, well if you ever come across prince charming, send him my way.” She rolls her eyes and he laughs. He hates seeing her upset.

Theyre at the local skating rink when it happens, he finally got her to stop crying enough to take her out and here comes Jack, Jake, Joke, whatever the fuck his name was holding a bouquet of roses and a ring box, smiling widely at her, this jackass really thinks a ring will fix everything he’s done to her. What a damn clown.

Y/n stops abrutly, eyeing him up and down, she’s definitely angry still.

“That better not be what the fuck i think it is.” She snaps, tossing the roses in the trash. “Y/n, i know i fucked up, but you’re worth more than-” He’s cut off by the sound of her hand meeting his cheek.

“NO!” She shouts, a few people now stopping to watch. “You have some NERVE showing up here, after cheating on me and for what? to propose? ARE YOU FUCKING DRUNK? In what fucking small minded universe that you live in do you think proposing to me is going to fix what you broke? No, i will not marry you. Go to hell, Jeff.” She stomps off, as good as she can in skates.

Jeff, that’s his fucking name. He looks over at me and i shrug. “You fucked that up on your own man, you don’t deserve her.” Dean walks away.

She never mentions Jeff again.

Christmas Eve 2019

Their families get together again, Dean’s family hosts this year, y/n and he had flown home early this year to help with the food and decorations, y/n had run into one of her exes, a guy she dated back in highschool, He’d ran in Sam’s circle of friends, one of his old football buddies. They had gone on a date to catch up, ending up at the local bar with some old highschool friends.

Sam sits next to him, downing his own beer. “Man, why don’t you just tell her you’re her prince charming, watching her get with and dump all these idiots is getting tiring. Even mom and dad know you two belong together.” Sam chuckles, letting out a burp, he’s clearly borderlining between drunk and tipsy. Dean sighs, he’s going to have to call Jessica soon.

“If i was her soulmate, she’d have noticed by now. I’m not going to make that choice for her. If it’s meant to be, she’ll realize it on her own, not because i forced her to like me.” He shrugs and Sam laughs, “You’re both so stupid.” Sam huffs and shakes his head.

Before Sam can continue pestering him about his failure to woo Y/n, they hear a commotion, they turn to see Eric covered in beer, calling y/n a bitch and some other not nice words.

Dean gets protective, not even a split second before he’s standing next to her, shoving Eric away from her. “Easy man, get away from her.” He yells and Eric huffs, throwing his arms in the air, “Whatever, you’re a waste of time, can’t believe i ever dated you, i forgot what it was like being with you.” He snarls before stepping outside, no doubt to light up another blunt.

Dean frowns, “What happened?” he asks and you laugh. “He proposed, said he missed me and regretted ever breaking things off, said he finally realized i was the one that got away.” She airquotes before she sips her beer, huffing, “Turns out, that’s his game, he was hoping if i said yes i’d be over the moon and jump into bed with him again. Ugh, i hate men.” she grunts before walking out, Dean slaps a few bills on her table before going after her, a semi drunk Sam at his side.

Chritmas Eve 2020

Christmas Eve dinner is a hit. Changing things up, Dean and Y/n had decided to host this year, flying their families out to vancouver. It’s cold and snowy, but makes Christmas actually feel like Christmas, unlike the warm sunny holiday in california, they love it there, but this year, with the snow, it actually feels like a real Christmas.

They sit out on the back deck, taking a break from the family game night and friendly comeptition and yelling going on inside. Their families are nuts, but it always makes for a great time.

Dean’s sure he’s ready, she hasn’t dated anyone since the last proposal, and he’s insane, he’s sure of it, he’s sure just like the others, he’ll be turned down, and he’s willing to make an utter fool of himself, but it’s time, he’s waited long enough, he needs her to know, he needs to tell her, he’ll never be able to truly move on and get over her if he doesn’t at least get an answer on wether she feels the same.

“How long do you think that bingo game is going to last?” She asks, chuckling and she watches their families fight over who had bingo first.

“Marry me.” He blurts it out without even realizing it. That’s not how he wanted that whole thing to go, he had planned it out, but plans go out the window when you spend time obsessing on things being perfect.

“What?” She’s stunned, but she hasn’t run away yet, and she’s not hyperventilating, that’s a good sign. He begins to babble like a damn idiot.

“I don’t have a ring, or a proper set up like a jumbotron or some shit, and this isn’t even how i planned on this day going, i’m not perfect, and i have my flaws, hell i’m so fucked up i’d be insane to think i even deserve even half your love, but i’m crazy about you, and i have been since 5th grade, when you gave me my first valentines card because no one in class gave me one and then kissed my cheek and told me you’d always be my valentine. I guess, what i’m trying to say is i may not be your prince charming, but you’ve always been my girl, i’ve never chosen anyone but you, and i realize, i don’t ever want anyone, except you.” He finally takes a breath, too scared to make eye contact, and he sighs.

“I know this is stupid and random and you can totally say no or run away if th-”

“Yes.” She stuns him, completely silencing his rant.

He finally meets her eyes, “What?” He asks, sure as shit he heard her wrong.

“Yes, Winchester, i’ll marry you.” She says, this time clear as day.

He huffs out a laugh, “ Wait, seriously?” he asks, stunned and still thinking she has to be fucking with him.

She shrugs and smiles, “Yeah, I’ve known you all my life, you were always my prince charming, my perfect match, i was just waiting for you to figure it out.” She laughs. Dean’s eyes roam her face, for the first time, seeing how perfect she really is for him.

“I literally could have been with you this entire time?” he raises and eyebrow and she shrugs, smiling. He shakes his head, not believing his own stupidity before he takes full advatnge, leaning in and finally claiming what’s been his this entire time.

Safe to say, that was the last proposal she ever recieved.

#Dean x Reader #Reader insert #daydreamingintheimpala

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