#??) it’s them paying to fly me my CATS and my stuff out there but not any of my furniture. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

luveline · 5 months

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could you write a ditzy!reader with tasm peter parker -- i have a vision of them bickering and reader just saying incredibly wrong things (ala getting things confused with each other, not flat out lies) while effortlessly beating whoever theyre fighting

“You always make this look much more difficult than it is, Spider-Man!” you call.

Peter is a little busy getting his head smashed into a wall to answer you. “Fuck! Hey, man, are you trying to graduate from robber to murderer? ‘Cos you’re getting there,” he says, shooting the front of a web into the robber’s face before ducking under his arm and quickly climbing up the opposite wall. He smacks the end of the web into the buildings and lets the guy hand there two feet off the ground, dropping down to poke at his dangling feet. “Or you could be a life-sized Christmas decoration. This is way cooler.”

“He’s not a robber, Spider-Man,” you say. He’s surprised you don’t call him Peter, honestly. “He’s a cat burglar. They’re different.”

“He’s not a cat burglar, he didn’t go into anyone’s house. What are you doing?”

You’ve strung the robber’s accomplice up like a fly in a spider's web. You’re giggling as you drop down beside him, the sound only so slightly muffled by your spandex mask. “He looks tasty.”

A honk echoes from the mouth of the alley, then a screech of tires. Peter heard a cry of, “Hey, my purse!” and then, predictably, the approach of hurried footsteps.

“Good day for robbers,” you say conversationally.

“Bad day for old ladies. Do you have the purse?”

You turn to him to show the purse already slung over your shoulder, the body bumping against your hip. “It suits me, right? Hey, did you know purses keep getting bigger because women have to carry more stuff? Soon, my purse will be the size of my car.”

“You don’t have a car. And that’s not true, purses come in a hundred different sizes.” Peter gently pushed your chest back to get a clean shot at the approaching robber. He webs him at the feet, and smirks to himself as the newcomer immediately topples forward, the stolen purse flying from his hands. “Watch your step.”

“Delivery!” you laugh, grabbing the bag off of the ground. “Hey, we should make these guys pay for the bags, considering they’re all scuffed up and broken now. What do you think?” you ask the robber stuck to the floor, who’s now lamenting a potentially broken nose. “Aw, Spider-Man, look what you did.”

“Walk it off,” Peter advises, taking you by the shoulders to lead you out of the alleyway. He’s too tired to deal with these idiots today. “It was in the name of justice.”

“I heard that a broken nose takes up to five months to heal. What justice is that?”

“That’s not true.”

“It is. I saw it on the history channel.”

“The same channel that thinks aliens built the pyramids?”

“Everyone’s wrong about something.”

“Yeah, well, I’ll keep it in mind. Now where did that old lady go?”

“There’s a Pilates studio down the street. Old people love that stuff.”

“No, they don’t.” Peter looks at you with concern. You keep on walking, unaware of his looking nor his judgement as you emerge from the alley into the New York City hub. Peter jogs to catch up, slipping an arm between yours to anchor you to him as he says, “It’s a good thing you’re so pretty.”

“That’s mildly insulting. It’s a good thing you’re pretty.”

Peter can’t kiss you with the masks. He would, though. A smacker of a kiss pressed unabashed into your cheek. “You really think old people like Pilates?”

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maxybabyy · 7 months

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It’s barely noon.

Daniel has only been back in Monaco for a handful of hours, burnt out from flying commercial and dressed obnoxiously in bright orange, and still, he’s here.

He pulls up Max’s text one more time and stares sceptically at the building in front of him. But he’s in the right spot, the tiny guy on the map right on top of the address Max had sent.

The lady behind the reception desk looks up when he enters, a polite smile on her lips as she comes forward to greet him, “Bonjour monsieur, comment ca va?”

Daniel’s been here for too long for his French to be as bad as it is, stutters out a, “Ca va bien,” before he switches to English. “Uh, I’m here for my cats?”

“Certainly,” she says, her accent even less pronounced than Charles’. She goes back behind the desk, points out the small bevvy station on her way there. Daniel’s been in formula one for over ten years, has lived in Monaco for most of that, but this fucking cat hotel may still be the fanciest shit he’s been to. “May I ask what cats you are here for?”

Daniel jiggles the handle of the coffeemaker, watches what he hopes is coffee drip into the branded to-go cup. “Uh, Jimmy and Sassy? They’re like, Bengals, with the stripes and shit? If you have two cats that look the same, I reckon it’s probably them,” he says, searches and fails to locate a lid.

The lady coughs, and Daniel decisively doesn’t look at her, cannot – knows she has to be laughing at him. Fucking, disaster step-cat dad that he is; Max would already have them loaded up in the car and be on his way.

“The cats are registered with internal ID numbers, monsieur. I cannot tell you if we have your cats otherwise, my apologies,” she tells him, not unkind.

“Right, yeah. Let me get those for you then,” he says, chuckles. He scrolls back to the cursed message that had started it all, rattles off the IDs for both cats to the lady’s mild surprise.

‘you of course don’t have to, but always the cats like it better when they can be at home.’ He reads back now, wishes he had never ventured into the world of cat sitting and long-term pet boarding.

“I will have someone come out with your cats right away, monsieur Verstappen,” she says, taps away at the computer for a moment before the printer starts to spit out a stack of papers. “If I can just have you sign here, you will be all set.”

Daniel swallows down half of the coffee, scrapes his teeth over his tongue to mask the burn. “’course, I’m not Max, though. Just for filing purposes, I guess.” He says, scribbles his signature on the dotted line. It’s the same fucking signature that he would do on a hat or whatever the fans put in front of him, and it shouldn’t make him feel embarrassed, but it does. “My name’s Daniel. Ricciardo, I should be on the list though.”

The lady smiles, licks her finger to flick a page. “Certainly, monsieur Ricciardo.”

A man in his early twenties comes out, a cat carrier in each arm. He puts the cats on the desk and rattles off a report of their stay these past weeks, the meals they had, how they behaved, their moods.

Daniel tries to listen, makes himself remember enough that Max will be satisfied even if they didn’t also send out an update by mail every three days. The guy doesn’t stop talking, so Daniel nods along, pokes his finger through the grid and watches Sassy swat at it; Jimmy who gives him a polite lick.

Even if their names weren’t printed on the carrier, this would give them away. That at least he knows.

“Great, yeah. Thanks mate,” Daniel says and moves them down to rest by his feet. “Do I need to pay something, or will we get an invoice, or like?”

“Monsieur Verstappen has an account with us, so there is no need for that. He will be notified by mail. But I can offer you a receipt?” She says, and even she sounds unsure about the offer.

“Yeah, that would be good, cheers.”

The printer makes another noise, and one of the cats meows in response, the other quick to echo. She hands it over with a smile, and Daniel stuffs it into his pocket with a quick ‘thanks’ and picks up his cats to leave.

He’s lying on the couch later, Jimmy on his chest and Max’s latest voice message playing over the phone when he finally pulls out the receipt.

“You’re such a fucking spoilt cat, Jims.” He says, kisses his head.

Jimmy meows softly, bumps his chin with his head, so Daniel kisses him again, watches his tail flick in the air.

Yeah, alright, he thinks, maybe they do deserve it.

#max said cats were at a cat hotel on the team red line stream #and this was the only thing I could think of ...#maxiel #maxiel fic #my fic #my writing #fic

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nikki-tine · 1 month

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Pretty hastily slapped together, but here's a comm sheet for those who were wondering about the prices in my pinned post! I'm a little nervous about taking comms from social media again, but I'm open to it as my family needs the money so often now...

More recently, I've taken to working on iPad - this will be a more common thing as the summer months roll around and it becomes too stuffy to stick to my PC for working on art.

Here's what I CAN do, for the moment:

Cute, simple designs - Pokemon and simple (rookie-level or earlier) Digimon are a strong suit of mine, but if you have a wonderfully simple OC I can work with too then it'll do!

Cats. I loooove drawin' cats! If you have a Warriors OC, chances are I can draw em.

Fluffy stuff overall! (As long as it's simple enough, obviously - Fluff is another comfort thing I looove to work with. This means literal fluffy stuff like fuzzy animals/critters, and figurative fluff like cuddles and tickles!)

Sans!! (No seriously, I funkin love drawin' sans. If you got a Sans I can draw, I will happily draw him!)

Here's what I CAN'T do, for the moment, on the other hand:

NSFW art (This is because a) there's minors who follow this blog - I have to keep that stuff away (and keep them safe)! and b) I'm not ready to take NSFW commissions, and probably won't be a for a while.)

Heavy gore and themes (It's a lot to work with, and it's not something I personally dabble in if at all, so the result would NOT be to your liking if I tried more than likely lol)

Intricate Detail (I have my reasons for this! My wrist has been acting up more often in the last few years and so intricate detail is... overwhelming for me, right now, outside of personal work. It's just not a strong suit of mine, as much as I'd love it to be - it's not quite a part of the art style as it is right now.)

Added notes:

- I have the right to decline a commission if it either makes me uncomfortable to work with it or otherwise is overwhelming. That is to say, if one artist can't achieve what you're looking for then usually that's an indicator to hold onto your money for a bit until you find the right person!

I send the paypal link at the halfway point (the sketch, just before lineart) normally - but if you want to pay upfront, then please let me know. (I don't wait until the piece is completely done as a safety measure to ensure the person commissioning me doesn't nab the piece and run lol)

I CANNOT REFUND ONCE THE COMMISSION IS PAID FOR. The money goes STRAIGHT into family-related necessities like bills and groceries, and I absolutely CANNOT afford to return money when we are consistently struggling to even get food for the house, nevermind commissions. (It's also just kinda mean?? :c)

I am on commission burnout - what this means is that my work may take longer than usual to get done, but I hold to my word that I get it done no matter how long it takes. If you need the piece done as priority, then make sure you specify when giving the details for your commission! (I do best, however without a time limit or deadline to work with.)

As of right now, I'm practically (metaphorically) crying for simple designs due to this burnout! I need something I can just fly through to get done so I don't stress myself out further on a queue that's been waiting to be done for a hot second.

#If y'all need to check if my comms are open please remember to check my pinned post first before asking in DMs or asks!#art #nikki-tine #commissions #comm sheet #commission sheet #commission details #chibies #chibi art #digital art #sfw tickling community #sfw tickle community #commission work

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demonlovingsheep · 10 months

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An MC who is addicted in helping the brothers maintaining their horns, wings, and tail. Why? Cause :

You have such a huge area on Lucifer’s wings and plucking out the old feathers until their all gone is so satisfying. It’s like plucking white hair from your older relatives, except you don’t even get paid a nickel for each cause this is a volunteer service. Maybe the first or second time, but after Mammon saw you get rich, he was offering Lucifer to groom his wings before you and stealing your job 😡.

MC “MAMMON FACK OFF, THIS IS MY JOB I’M BROKE.”

Mammon “WELL I’M BROKER”

Mc “AND WHO’S FAULT IS THAT?!?!”

Lucifer got annoyed at this and stopped paying entirely. You gave Mammon the silent treatment after that and he begged you to forgive him, which you did eventually.

Mammon’s wings are leathery. Maybe use a lint roller to roll all the dust and stuff off. The sound is nice too. You also can’t help running your finger over the boney parts up to his back, which he will flinch and get fluster.

Mammon “Wha-what are you doing? S-s-stop!

MC: I’m taking the elevator up to get closer to your heart 😘

Mammon *turning red like a tomato* “S-Sh-Shuddap dummy.”

Levi’s tail is like removing dried paint from the wall. If you never seen a snake owner holding onto the snake while it moves to shed, you are missing out.

MC “Levi, your tail is awesome, beautiful, gorgeous, majestic, long, sexy, and….looks tasty. *Chomps*

Levi *jumps from his chair and howls, then he died*

Satan’s bones tail often has gunk between the cracks. You use a tweezer to remove them section by section and marvel at the pile your able to remove.

Satan “MC, don’t go too deep, you’ll touch the nerves and it’ll hurt a little. I’m sure there is nothing there anyways.

MC “No no, just give me a moment. I’m sure there is something in here, I needa- *pulls out a huge chunk of dusk gunk* holy hell.

Satan 😳 “Oh my tail is a bit more flexible now. So that’s the reason why.”

MC *happy cause the pile of gunk got bigger*

Asmo is the same with Mammon. However his wings smell nicer and you marvel at how his wings connects to his back. Not something you see often and you wonder if his wing muscles are stronger since his wings are small in proportion to his body but he can still fly.

MC “Asmo, your wings are smaller than Lucifer’s but it looks a bit small in comparison to your size. How do you fly?”

Asmo: Because everyone loves me darling. And their love powers me and is able to carry me off. Oh ain’t I just the prettiest being of the world ❤️!”

Your eyes was about to roll to the back of your head.

Beel’s translucent wing makes u put a hand under it while you wipe it with a towel on the other side. You were kinda playing with it’s characteristics, tracing the lines that runs through it with your finger. He finds it very ticklish but thinks your adorable.

MC “You know, in the Human world there is a thing called palm reading. It’s where you can predict all sorts of things like when you’ll get married, your luck, you longevity, and everything by the lines on your hand.”

Beel “Really? Well I sure hope that there is a line on my wing that means we will be together forever” *smiles happily*

MC *wraps arm around Beel’s neck, nuzzling him* “You don’t need a line to tell you that. I love you and will be there forever!”

Lemme grab that floof at the end of ur tail dammit. Belphegor’s tail is like a cat’s toy and you can’t resist just targeting that floof, oohh that floof. And you will take care of it as if it’s a small fluffy animal. You will bath it, blow dry it, brush it, and top it off with a bow tie. Finally you give it a kiss and this whole dam time Belphegor is getting jealous of his own tail LMAO.

Belphie “MC, give me more attention up here.” *pouts*

MC “No! I want to spend more time with Luna.” *Rubs face against fluff*

Belphie “Luna? You named my tail? What about Belphie? He needs attention too. *Lifts tail away from your hand*

MC “NOO GIMME BACK LUNA U MONSTER!”

Belphie: >:(

*I thought this would be a short post but as I started to write, it just keep going, holy.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me belphegor #obey me mammon #obey me belphie #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me satan #obey me crack #post after midnight be like #I was just going and going #hell there wasn’t even suppose to be quoted and stuff.#obey me headcannons #tails horns and wings #Levi isn’t dead yet

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forhappysake · 7 months

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What Lurks Within, Pt. 1

Author's Note: I've never written one of these before, so I hope anyone who reads it can enjoy it.

Content: When the BAU is forced to consult on a case from a distance, the team finds themselves getting frustrated with the lack of communication from local law enforcement. After the unsub escalates, the team prepares to fly to Denver to tackle the case head-on.

Warnings: Typical BAU-level violence, hom!c!de, workplace harassment training (does that need a warning, lol?), mention of prison and Cat Adams, established relationship, all fluffy stuff for now

Consulting on cases from afar was never the BAU’s strong suit. Relying on information provided by local law enforcement, rather than being hands-on at the scene, was a major inconvenience. However, a schedule mix-up over annual training and filing reports required our presence here, in D.C., rather than in Denver.

Matt and Luke had spent the afternoon pouring over files that arrived from the Denver office while Spencer and I were forced to sit through our annual workplace training. We were the last members of the team to partake in the training, and we weren’t any more excited than the rest of the team had been. We arrived around two o’clock, taking our seats next to each other. Then began the droning voice of the poor HR worker who was forced to reiterate the FBI’s spiel on workplace harassment and discrimination for the seven-hundredth time today.

I knew my boyfriend, so I knew Spencer wasn’t paying any attention. Both our minds were on the Denver case. Seven men with similar physical descriptions had gone missing over a span of three months. Their bodies, found discarded in local parks, had been bludgeoned beyond recognition.

It was difficult, of course, to understand what was happening when conflicting reports kept coming in from local law enforcement. Penelope was doing her best to work with their in-house tech teams to confirm or deny reports we received from the local police chief, but it was hard when they rarely answered her requests for more information. Between the lack of communication and the fact that this unsub did not seem to have any plans of slowing down, having to work this case in-house was really taking its toll on office morale.

Thankfully, the HR meeting only lasted an hour. Spencer and I received our lovely “congrats on completing this training” certificate to put in our files, and we quickly hurried out of the meeting room and back to the bullpen. Matt and Luke sat at their desks, hunkered over files. Luke was the first to notice our entrance into the room, shaking his head in disbelief.

“I don’t understand how I am supposed to build a geographical profile when I have two separate conflicting reports of where the body was found for the same murder,” Luke said. He rose from his desk and rubbed his eyes, “It’s like Denver doesn’t want us to help them.”

Matt looked up from his desk, nodding in agreement. Noticing our presence in the room, he leaned back in his chair. “Thankfully Garcia is doing a hell of a job with victimology, but you two have your work cut out for you unless you get some confirmation on the accuracy of these reports.” He gestured to the files in front of him, “It’s an absolute disaster.”

Luke nodded fiercely in agreement, grasping the file in his hand with frustration. “Reid, just come look at this and tell me if I’m missing something here,” Luke held the file out in front of him. Spencer walked over to Luke, taking the file from him and thumbing through the pages.

Spencer cleared his throat, eyebrows knitting together, “This page says that Daniel Jones was found dead in a small park behind a swing set, but this page says he was found bound and gagged behind a dumpster at a local coffee shop in Denver.”

Luke flung his arms out in front of him, letting out an exasperated huff. “Exactly! What am I supposed to do with that?” Luke looked utterly defeated, and the look on Matt’s face told me he wasn’t doing any better.

Trying to take some control of the situation unraveling in front of me, I offered a solution. “Matt, Luke. Why don’t you guys go home for a bit? You’ve been here since four in the morning, and it’s nearly three. Wash up, take a nap, and come back with fresh eyes.” I said it gently, hoping not to offend either of them.

Matt nodded in response, “I think Y/N has a point, Luke. We could both use a break.” Matt stood up from his desk chair, stretching before turning towards the door. “I don’t know about you, but I’m out of here,” he stated as he turned and headed for the elevator.

Luke gritted his teeth. “Alright, I guess I could use a break. But I’ll be back, and I swear that if Denver hasn’t given us something we can work with, I’ll-”

“Luke,” Spencer said, cutting him off, “Y/N is right. We’ll hold down the fort here. Just go home for a while.” Defeated, Luke lifted his coat off the back of his chair, tugging it over his shoulders.

“I hope you guys find something you can work with,” Luke mumbled, “Thanks for taking over, I’ll be back in a few hours.” With that, he followed Matt out of the bullpen in the direction of the elevators, leaving Spencer and I alone.

I sighed, knowing we had our work cut out for us. Spencer continued thumbing through the file Luke had handed him. He spoke up again, “Which would you prefer, honey,” Spencer gestured to the file in his hand and the file left open on Matt’s desk, “victimology, geographical profile, or trying to contact Denver?”

“Considering everyone else has been trying to get a hold of Denver all day, I’ll take a look at what Matt and Penelope put together on victimology,” I said with a small smile, “You’re better at the geo-profiles anyway.” I lifted the file off Matt’s desk as Spencer nodded, walking over to his desk and taking a seat.

For hours we poured over the mess of information we’d been provided. Matt was right, Penelope had done a heck of a job piecing together victimology. However, it wasn’t enough to make an educated guess on anything about the psychology of our unsub. Three o’clock quickly turned into ten o’clock, and I could feel my stomach growl. I looked over at Spencer’s desk, and even he looked like he could use something to eat.

“Hey, Spence,” I said, “have you made any progress over there?” He shifted in his seat, shutting the file and looking up at me.

“No, not really,” he sighed. “Luke was right. These reports are a mess.” I nodded in agreement and understanding, swiveling in my chair to face away from him. Staring down the hallway, the light from the vending machine caught my eye.

“Considering neither of us are making any groundbreaking discoveries, I’m gonna run to the vending machine. Do you want anything?” I swiveled my chair back around in his direction, awaiting his reply.

He looked up for a moment, seeming to give it some thought before shaking his head. “No thanks, Y/N. I really appreciate the offer, though.” He gave me a small nod.

“No problem, brainiac. I’ll be back in a few.” I turned on my heel and made my way out of the bullpen, pausing to look out the window next to the elevator. It was dark out and I wanted nothing more than to go home and wrap myself in a blanket, sinking into bed. “Too bad people decide to commit murder,” I thought out loud.

Continuing down the hallway to the vending machine, I reached in my pocket to pull out a couple dollars. Popping the bills into the machine and deciding on some off-brand bag of chips, I claimed my purchase from the machine and made my way back to the bullpen. Upon my arrival, I noticed Spencer wasn’t at his desk. I looked around for a moment, curious as to where he had gone, when I saw his mop of curls through the blinds to the briefing room.

Quietly making my way up the staircase, I approached the door and gently pushed it open. The boy-genius must have had some breakthrough, as he scribbled quickly on the white board, turning back to the meeting table to check one of the files he had brought up to the room with him. Suddenly, a mixed look of frustration and disappointment crossed his face and he sighed in defeat. Whatever lead he thought he had must have been unfruitful, and he wore a somber look as he thumbed through the files once more.

I remembered at that moment why I loved him so much. I stood in awe of the way his curls gently fell over his eyes, the way the veins in his hands became more pronounced when he examined the case file. His eyes, dark as they were, shone a deep brown color in the warm light of the room. I watched as he rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands, dragging a hand through his hair. We were tired, exhausted, and the case showed no signs of coming to a close anytime soon.

“Spencer,” I said, approaching him quietly, not wishing to disturb his work. He let out a long sigh, looking away from the file. I could almost see the gears stop shifting in his mind, as his thoughts grew smaller in his mind. The dark circles under his eyes were evident. I offered him a small smile, reaching for the case file in front of him, and gently closing it, slipping it under my arm. “All of this will still be here tomorrow, I think we should go home and rest.”

His lips pursed in evident disappointment, turning back to the whiteboard. I tried to make out his scribbles and notes, but his handwriting was so sloppy it was hardly legible. He turned back, resembling Luke’s defeat from hours before. Finally, he nodded in agreement. Standing up straight, he turned his head in circles, attempting to work out the soreness he felt after scanning files for hours. “We’re so close, Y/N, I can feel it,” he murmured as he turned to look at me, “so, so close.”

Our eyes locked for a moment before I turned my gaze to the ground in front of me. “I know, Spence. Unfortunately, there’s not much we can do until the police in Denver get back to us with more information tomorrow.” I leaned back on the meeting room table, crossing my arms in front of me.

“I know,” he said. He shuffled so he stood in front of me, running his hands up and down my crossed arms. “Should we go home?” Spencer asked, tilting his head and offering me a small smile.

“We should absolutely go home,” I murmured, leaning into his touch. He wrapped his arms around me, and I could smell his cologne mixed with a hint of coffee. I tucked my head under his chin, accepting this rare act of PDA as a result of our shared exhaustion. I felt his hands rubbing over my aching back, and I couldn’t have been more grateful for his presence.

“Are you ready to go?” he asked gently. I could feel his voice rattle through his chest, the vibration so soothing.

“No,” I giggled, “I think we should just stay like this forever.” I pulled back from him a bit so that I could examine his face. His stubble had grown in and stayed since his return from prison, and his eyes looked even more exhausted than usual, but he was still the same Spencer he’d always been.

I reflected briefly on our relationship. Though we’d only been dating for a year, I felt like I’d been with Spencer my entire life. Of course his stint in prison, his meeting with Cat Adams, and the team’s battle with Scratch had left emotional and physical scars on all of us, Spencer’s sweet demeanor remained unchanged. I admired his resilience, and his ability to see the good in others.

He brought me back to reality as he smiled again, leaning down to place a gentle kiss on my lips which I accepted with more fervor than he had anticipated. He rocked back away from me for a moment, raising his eyebrows. “Where did that boost of energy come from?” he asked, placing his hands on either side of my face.

“I don’t know, I was just looking at how pretty you are,” I said, bringing my hands to cover his. He looked at me for a moment, cocking his head to the side.

“You’re very pretty too, Miss L/N,” he said, forcing himself to pull his hands from my face and shove them into his pockets. He cleared his throat, trying to refocus on the topic at hand. “Now,” he started, “how about we both head back to my place and settle in for the evening? I’m no chef, but you and I both know I can order take-out like no other.” He scanned my face for a response.

“Sure, Spence. That sounds delightful,” I said while looping my arm in his.

“Off we go, then.” Arm in arm, Spencer and I walked to the elevator. No further words were exchanged, and we stood in comfortable silence as I clicked the button and awaited the arrival of the elevator.

The ding of the elevator signaled its arrival. Spencer moved forward, preparing to step on, when Luke came barreling off. He’d clearly showered, though he didn’t look much more well-rested.

“You two aren’t going to believe this,” his serious tone catching both Spencer and myself off guard. He didn’t stop to address us, either, making fast strides towards the bullpen.

“What is it, Luke?” I asked, turning to follow him as Spencer followed in suit. “Tell us what’s going on.” As we reentered the bullpen, Luke scanned our desktops. Eyes settling on Matt’s desk, he reached for the TV remote, scanning stations until it came to the national news. Cranking up the television volume, Spencer and I listened intently to what the reporter was saying:

“In Denver, Colorado, the bodies of three more young men have been discovered dumped in neighborhood parks across the city within the past week. Officials are warning residents to avoid these areas and to remain vigilant…”

“This guy is all over the place,” Luke said, shaking his head.

“At least this confirms he’s dumping the bodies in parks,” I shrugged. If the local police department wasn’t going to give us information, the media outlets would provide plenty.

“He’s escalating,” Spencer said, eyes narrowing at the screen. “Three within the past week is a significant increase from seven over a twelve week period.” Luke and I nodded in agreement.

“I’ll call Garcia and Prentiss,” Luke said, “maybe now that those god-awful trainings are over, we can finally fly out of here and get our hands on this case.” I responded in agreement as Spencer continued examining the news report. Luke reached for his phone, dialing some numbers before stepping away from Spencer and I, “Hey, Emily. It’s Alvez. I think we need to get to Denver right away…” His voice faded out as he walked farther away from us.

Spencer’s attention turned from the screen back to me. “So much for takeout,” he said with a sad smile. I put an arm around him, gently rubbing his back.

“We should’ve known it was too good to be true. Maybe we can get some snacks on the jet. Until then,” I gestured up to the unopened bag of chips I’d discarded on the table of the briefing room, “I’m going to go finish my dinner.”

Just as I started to walk away, I heard Luke’s voice call out, “Wheels up in 30. The rest of the team will meet us on the tarmac.” I sighed, turning back to look at Spencer who was already shoving files and notepads into his go-bag. I hurriedly grabbed my chips off the table and returned to the bullpen, mirroring Spencer’s frenzied packing.

After I finished collecting my things, Luke led Spencer and I down to the tarmac. JJ, Matt, Emily, and Rossi soon arrived as well. Spencer’s hand on my lower back guided me up the steps of the jet. Flying had never been my favorite thing. Since joining the team a year and a half ago, I’d only started to get used to it. Spencer, per usual, had been my saving grace, offering me comfort and a hand to hold during the flights. This evening would be no different.

Settling in our usual seats, Emily offered us each files full of what little information had been confirmed by local law enforcement and media outlets. She drew our attention to the files, gesturing to the one in her hand. “I know we don’t have a lot to go on. I have a feeling we’re going to have our work cut out for us on this one,” she said with a small nod. “I’d recommend you all try to take it easy on this flight, we’re going to be hard at work once we get to Denver.”

As we each nodded in agreement, I felt Spencer’s hand squeeze mine a little tighter. I gently laid my head on his shoulder, trying to take Emily’s advice. “Let’s rest, Spencer. Emily’s right, we’re not gonna do anyone good if we’re exhausted.” I felt his sigh of agreement as he rested his head back against the seat, closing his eyes. I followed suit, allowing sleep to take over.

Our ignorance, at that moment, was blissful. We had no idea what waited for us in Denver.

TO BE CONTINUED

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Let me know what you think down below. Happy writing!

#spencer reid #luke alvez #penelope garcia #emily prentiss #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid x reader #fluff #spencer reid fluff #bau x reader #fanfic #y/n #spencer x y/n #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds fanfic

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acestories · 9 months

Text

Arc 1; Chapter 1

In some ways the world hasn’t changed; Karens still scream at grocery store clerks for no reason, Douchebags think they own the roads, and the sun continues to rise every morning. But, it’s definitely changed; people fly through the air on their own, a car mechanic lifts the car he’s working on with his bare hand, and a thief outruns a squad of police cars.

But, I’m getting ahead of myself. 2020 was terrible already, but as if that wasn’t enough, it had one last fucking piece of shit to throw in our faces. Christmas night, there was a violet star in the sky. By new years eve, it had become a sun. By new years day, a violet mist that brought with it plague, one with a 10% mortality rate, and the rich and powerful hid themselves away from it. As they always did.

But as it turned out, ⅕ of those who survived it got what could only be called Superpowers. And very few of the rich and powerful got Superpowers. The inevitable started to happen.

And where do I fit into all of this? Well, I'm the ñonbinary cat boy waiting for their take out to be ready. What? Just because I got Superpowers doesn't mean I don't want tacos. And these guys make a gochujang teriyaki sauce that is to die for. And I'm not gonna let some random ass fuck wad villain destroy this place, I can't recreate the sauce!

The villain (who I think called himself Syndrome or some shit like that, I can't remember) charged at me, fist raised high. I'm able to dodge at the last minute, the concrete street corner shattering as it took the blow, which when combined with my latest bruises, are enough to tell me that this guy has one of those god damn Escalating Strength powers in addition to the basic stuff.

Gotta take them out fast, before they start punching Blackholes or something. I think someone could do that.

The villain starts monologuing; ooooooh, his name is "Symptom." That's actually kinda cool I gotta admit. Regardless, thank fuck this guy is long winded. Or really into L.A.R.P.ing. Doesn't matter now though; I charge at him with the speed of a bullet and unleash a flurry of blows. After a few seconds of what sounds like a machine gun going off, he starts to fall backwards, a look of surprise on his big stupid, neck-bearded face.

Heh, I caught him Monologuing. Guess that makes me a sly cat instead of a sly dog. :D

Oh yeah, the cat parts. While only ⅕ of survivors got super powers, over half of survivors got "fantasy bits." I got turned into a cat boy, but I've seen people with other things. Someone I went to high-school with got turned into an Orc.

Oh, and these things aren't a package deal, but there is enough overlap that it's testing fate to make a cat girl angry. So the Boomer who's screaming and making threats at me for not saving his car is either really brave or really stupid. I'm betting on the latter.

CRACK!

Shit, wasn't paying attention! Mmm, that's gonna smart tomorrow. I stumble to stay standing, looking for who hit me. Dammit, my vision is still blurry.

POW!

Again, but from the other side. This time though, I'm able to recover faster, and I see a trail of dust kicked up by a wind. Great, a speedster.

Dick wads didn't just get standard stuff, they get to be stupid fast. Faster than even I can see. But, based on the fact that I didn't explode, safe to assume that they're not too much stronger than I. Probably not much tougher either.

I suppose I should explain myself, huh? So, almost every super is significantly stronger, tougher, and faster than they were before, with heightened senses to boot. Most can lift one end of a car. I'm one of the ones that can kill a building. We don't got any Supermans or Omnimans, but we got some guys who're way the fuck up there.

But after the basic stuff, lots of people also got other powers, some coming into them easier than others. Symptom from earlier got Escalating Strength, which makes him stronger the longer he fights, but not tougher or faster (no, I don't know how it works exactly). Our new friend is a Speedster, so they get to move at Mach speeds (or close to it).

But now that I know what to look for, I can look and hear for them. And with my Cat Ears, I'm really good at hearing them tear through the atmosphere. They might be faster than sound, but the air sure as shit isn't. As they come towards me, I fly 30 m (100 in freedom units) up into the air, the Speedster's momentum carrying them past where I was.

Yeah, I got flight. Which is also pretty common, and lots of people make it work. I can't. I can jump up to this high, and after that I can fall with style. If I try to actually fly, I become a hazard to everything around me. Aside from knowing you guys are there, the only other power I know I have is Laser Eyes. And the only time I've used that, I destroyed my bed and first print Power 9 mtg cards! Those are worth $165,100!

As I drift down, I can see the Speedster trying to get her bearings. Well, she's practically where I was, and I can make myself come down really fucking hard. Choosing occam's razor, I bring myself down to the ground. Hard. Hard enough that the Speedster is now a good couple inches in the pavement.

I stand up, keeping my foot down on her head. After a minute or so, I felt confident in assuming she was down. Long enough that I can try to tie her up for the cops. And tie up Symptom. And actual–

"Oh, thank you señior!" I turn around to see the old Latino lady who took my order running up to me. Before I can process this, she glomps me in a bear hug.

"Uh, you're welcome. If you don't mind me asking, what did I do?"

"You saved us." This time, I turn to the Old Japanese man who cooks in the kitchen walking up to me, but picking up a bag I hadn't realized the Speedster had dropped before also hugging me. "The fast one stole from us while you were busy. You're a true hero."

"I'm not a hero. I was only here for tacos."

From the face pressed into my chest came "No, you were the only one here, and you helped. That makes you a hero."

I tried to form a response, but a slight rustling brought my attention, not to the store, but to the hole in an apartment above it. To a family. Their family. Their grandchildren.

As what I just did begins to really sink in, a young teenager comes up to me carrying a bag of styrofoam boxes. "But I only ordered one thing of tacos…" is all I can say weakly.

"The rest is our thanks." The only response I can think of is tears.

#not ace #Nobody Writes #Superheroes #I really need a name for this story #also wish I could get myself to actually make this a comic #if it wasn't for this monstrous art block I'm currently in #I'd draw at least one picture to go with this #feedback appreciated #story #personal writing

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loser-female · 3 months

Text

Nothing, just every time I sit around to think about ADHD I inevitably see all the abuse I've been through in front of my eyes again.

Now I just want to go cry in a corner.

The truth is that... I don't have any superpowers. I'm a 2x dropout. I cannot remember years of my life and the memories i have are extremely fragmented and difficult to put together. If I didn't have ADHD I wouldn't have been abused causing trauma that will never go away. I barely graduated high school - it took me 7 years instead of 5, I was too depressed to get out of bed at a certain point -and for some reason I thought I could do physics. And I can understand very difficult concepts, they don't fly over my head. But my country universities are completely unstructured. I got told "do these things in a three months time", so I couldn't keep up (and I also had chronic pain). I just cannot. I need a degree to keep going with my career but at this point I 100% believe it's over my possibilities, so I don't think I will ever reach the role of a SOC manager or a CISO.

I struggle daily to daily because all my energy goes to my job and when I'm done I'm exhausted. I have to make my boyfriend that does a physical heavy job (he is a factory worker) do 70% of the stuff because I just cannot. I do want to, but everything goes out of the window because I spent my whole day trying to focus. And he needs to double check because I forget. I forget to do laundry, I forget to take out the laundry and it then smells bad and I need to rewash it, then I forget it again. I don't miss my cats stuff because they are annoying.

While I'm actively monitoring I sometimes forget what I'm doing. And with sometimes I mean twice a day. Then I remembered and I have 10 alerts to analyse and then I get distracted again. It doesn't compromise the quality of my analysis for a miracle. Because I triple check everything, but I'm slower than my coworkers.

I called a customer yesterday because I contained his asset from the network (which is a very invasive operation) and I couldn't remember for the sake of my life if he disabled the email only or the whole o365 account. I still don't know. And it's a problem because I need to report to my coworkers and I will definitely look like an idiot if I gave them the wrong information. (They know about my ADHD and are very understanding)

I say"I need to reply to that email" and it's four months and now it's unacceptable to do this.

I recently failed a job interview because I forgot crucial information at the wrong time. I rely a lot on my notes and mindmaps which are great if you do intelligence analysis, but not that great when people expect you to remember everything.

I forgot to pay my water bill for 6 months because it got lost. I misplaced it, everyone thought it was being paid and it wasn't. (Idk how I didn't get my water shut off. Learned my lesson and now it get out directly from my bank account).

I forget to call my family for weeks because to me time makes no sense. Which is the reason why I struggle so much with my very necessary self study things. I need to get them done. I don't have the brain parts required to do that.

It's so awful, I get help but it cannot change the biology of my brain. I hope I will get some sort of "cure", although I rationally know it's impossible.

I'm scared to have kids because no way I'm condemning someone else to the amount of daily struggle I have. Especially my own child!

This is what living with ADHD actually looks like. Failing over and over again, and if you have good people around they will not mind that much, but I admit I wouldn't give me half of the slack my loved ones do to me. It's not the secret of any success, it doesn't make me "creative" or anything. In fact, I would have written how much stuff if I could finish what I start! How many things could I have done! I'd be a physics professor now. I'd have a PhD or something. I wouldn't have lost a decade of my life (1/3 of my life) to depression and anxiety.

Not that I have a bad job, I love my job, I earn more than I would have if I actually stayed in physics. even if things turned good for me that doesn't mean I don't miss what I could have been.

#ada.txt #ADHD

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ipsen · 9 months

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if you’ve already written something to this effect I just wish you a nice day, but tell me about how you imagine etoken would spend a day at the zoo? Do they want to learn about every single animal as thoroughly as possible, do they find a favorite and just observe it for hours, is one of them dragging the other along after halfway through due to differences in opinion, and do they do the thing where you spend a few dollars that go to conservation efforts to have one of the carnivore’s lunches named after your ex, or do they agree it’s not worth paying for something so trivial. (Is that a thing other zoos do that or was my childhood zoo just insane?)

zoo (wee mama)!

kaneki: it's our first time here, yet you know where to go! eto, who broke into the grounds last night to scout it out (the map was too confusing): kaneki: that's great eto: yeah it is isn't it

they have the mutual fascination with the conventionally ugly animals, like vultures or the occasional hairless cat (i guess). they have a particular affinity for the insect sections, where they watch the creepiest little crawly guys do their thing with bated breaths

eto: i think that fly's gonna go into the trap kaneki: but its friend got caught by the other one. surely-- *fly falls into the venus fly trap* eto: told you :]

they like the butterfly garden! "oh it's acherontia styx from Silence of the Lambs!" and stuff

eto names one of the carnivore lunches "rize", and while kaneki appreciates what she meants, he does not watch it get eaten like she does (honestly, i think i've heard of that sort of thing, just never paid attention to it because i had never dated anyone during the days i paid attention to zoo stuff in any capacity)

they take notes on their favorites and then go home and study up on them, resulting in a sort of second date sprung from the first. they share dumb facts about the ones that didn't overlap!

---

Thanks for the ask!

#tg #tokyo ghoul #etoken #eto yoshimura #ken kaneki #ask

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herrscherofsentence · 2 years

Text

Going to NRC and being Tony Stark’s son,

In the situation if you would get Isekai’ed into the Twisted Wonderland;

•For starters Tony who would be in your world would probably be freaking the fuck out since where tf his kid just go

•While you on the other hand despite being in Ramshackle, if you payed attention to anything of what your dad made you might as well try to copy some of it while in NRC yk-

•Hell Tony may even try to get Dr Strange to help, while your family and friends are freaking out here you are missing your dad but also laughing your ass off with Ace and Deuce.

“Okay okay so,-“ you started “This dude his name is Happy, he’s literally like an uncle but also he has such a like- short temper? He’s so funny at times as well,” then you go on to tell Ace and Deuce stuff about Happy. “Wait your dad is rich?” Deuce asks while you take a couple minutes to reply. “Uh..yea, he has all this tech stuff,” You replied to Deuce.

•Your time at NRC is actually pretty good until the students start Overbloting. So one day you go into the Ignihyde dorm and make little replicas of your dad’s Iron Man suit with permission from the dorm students if it was okay if you make some stuff. Despite you having no magic it was very surprising to Idia that you were able to make this stuff, say you made replicas of the boots and the gloves. I can just imagine Ortho helping you with the boots with the flying aspect.

•Crowley being absolutely useless is in for a shock when he sees you actually being able to participate in the magic portions of your classes somewhat.

You are now a Junior at night raven college, it has been three fucking years with no ability to come home. It was so heartbreaking, stressful and just the amount of angrier you had towards Crowley. “Headmage.” You said busting into his office “When am I going to come home? Its been three, THREE WHOLE YEARS, since I’ve came to Night Raven College and I’m still not home. I have a mother and father at home please Crowley, get off your ass and do something for once.” You basically snapped at Crowley, you want to see Pepper, Tony, Peter, your friends and most of the avengers. Later that day when you were hanging out with Deuce and Ace, Crowley had came to you the headmage wanted to tell you something. It was until you saw a golden ring appear in front of you showing Dr. Strange and your dad, tears started rolling down your eyes at the sight of your dad. You gulp, turning to Ace and Deuce “Deuce, Ace thank you..” You cried out, “Grim..” you took off him off your shoulder. “No..[name]..don’t go :( I need my underling..” the cat cried out, it was the first time you saw Grim cry. “I’ll miss you three..” you said,completely ignoring Crowley, “Let me come with you..” Grim cried you had walked over to the portal, Grim in your arms as Crowley left, Ace and Deuce followed you. “Can we..Can we keep Grim..?” Your tears said it all as you looked up to your father and the wizard. “He needs to stay here, kid.” Strange said. “But..But..!” You protested “Please, He..He doesn’t have a home here..” your tears continued. In the end you managed to keep Grim, but still the part that was hard saying goodbye to your friends. Ace,Deuce,Epel,Jack and Sebek, you will miss them all very much but they all knew you had to go home, as a parting gift Epel gave you and your father apple juice. Even after the portal closed your tears continued as Grim rested on your shoulder, “thank you..” you gave a small smile through you tears as you hugged your father.

“I missed you dad..” you whispered as Tony hugged back “I missed you too..” he replied.

#Twisted Wonderland #ace trappola #Deuce spade #grim twst #son reader #mcu #marvel #platonic #stark!reader #tony stark #tony stark x teen!reader

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polyamorouspunk · 3 months

Note

Vtuber anon again! I actually don't know too much about vtuber culture myself, I'm just mainly into it because I have scopophobia (fear of people seeing my face) and I think it's a fun way to hide my identity online, too! I just kinda see it as a way to have a webcam like any other real life Youtubers/content creators (ex. Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, etc), but there's a lot of vtubers and fans that it's much more involved and tied into Japanese culture.

I also see it as a way to be able to have much more creative freedom, since you can be anything from a silly little cat or a worm or an alien or even just an anime version of yourself. Plus with all the extra bits you can add to your model, you can just change your outfit on the fly without having to pay for the costumes or everything else (IF you're creating your model yourself, that is, like I am. There's plenty of Vtubers out there who commission someone for their model and that's very valid, too.)

Again I am by no means well-versed in Vtuber stuff myself, but this is just kind of how I view it haha. I also follow some Vtubers like @/b0tster here on tumblr who's a trans woman and game developer! (Though she shows her face on her blog, she uses her avatar for streams)

That’s cool! It’s definitely a neat idea! I know some people have like. Drawings of themselves as their icons and stuff, which is also on the rise with the rise of picrew, but like, will draw themselves as their icon or will commission people to draw them as their icon. I’ve def thought about that but I change how I look way too often, so if I wasn’t opposed to showing my face on camera I feel like that would be a good option for me perhaps! I’m not one to be super into technical stuff like editing and 3D modeling and programming and stuff like that though.

Do you have any ideas for what you want to make yours? I love character creation, but like I don’t even have fursonas or anything yet lol.

It sounds like another fun creative method, kind of like picrews on steroids but with a more functional use.

#punk gets mail

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michameinmicha · 4 months

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hello you asked for cats so i will SHOW YOU MY CATS. i live with three of them!! two are more connected to my roomie since they've lived with my roomie for longer than with me, one is super fixated on me. we have pumput, fred, and kasi

(kein plan warum ich das alles auf englisch geschrieben habe aber mir ist es literally nicht aufgefallen bis ich schon mehr als die hälfte hatte lol naja egal)

-pumput

he's the middle child. he doesn't like strangers, has a very melodic purr, sucks at sharpening his claws. he can be very talkative but he's very well behaved, he doesn't meow unless you pay attention to him. he likes to pretend he's the alpha of the household. he is kind stupid. he's always annoyed at kasi because kasi is a grumpy old man who sometimes Dares to go into Pumputs TerritoryTM (the hallway and kitchen). he is very gentle even when he's telling you to fuck off. he likes to squeeze himself into the very narrow gap between my desk and the heater when the heater is on. to absorb as Much Warmth as he can

-fred

the youngest. acts like it. he is really really stupid (affectionate). he always wants to play with kasi. kasi hates him but he doesn't respect him at all. fred wasn't socialised with other cats when he was a baby so he doesn't understand cat language. thus he is never afraid of/respects kasi even when he hisses at him. he likes to watch birds and chitter at them. greatest fly-catcher (and other insects) that has ever lived. he can usually be found on my loft bed because he treats it like a premium cat tree. gets along with everyone because he doesn't get it when they don't like him. he's always like. "that seems like a they problem (✿◠‿◠)"

-kasi

the old man. the grumpy asshole. the light of my life. he can be really annoying when he doesn't get his food at Exactly The Right Time or i dare to change my (and subsequently his) routine. he likes to cuddle but only with me. he really enjoys eating plants of every kind, especially if he's not allowed to. he has arthrosis and recently lost his eyesight on one of his eyes due to complications with high blood pressure. i've lived with him since i was 7 (he is 17). he has been a lone wolf for most of his life (he's been living with me again for about a year, he stayed at my mother's place when i moved out). because of that he hated both pumput and fred to the point where i thought he had to go back to my mother. but now they're in a state of mutually ignoring each other/tolerance/the occasional hiss and slap when someone Dares to go into his terriotry. or when there's food. recently he has taken a liking to sitting at the windowsill in my roomie's room which faces the street (he does not care about my windowsills, which point to the garden and the birds).

(if you want to see more of them i have a tag on my blog where i post cat pics ;) it's #kitty cats)

here's some things i like about you that i noticed in the brief time our paths have been crossing:

-i love your dedication to die drei fragezeichen omg i was never into it as a child but i love seeing you be so enthusiastic about them -your art is fucking beautiful -you have a great sense of humour -your blog is very pretty and your profile pic makes me smile

i think we're kind of similar, at least in a few ways. i greatly enjoy seeing you in my notes and i'm very happy we're mutuals <3 thank you for always liking my art stuff it means a lot to me!!!

i hope you feel better soon and i am bonking my head against yours like a cat and if you want i am squishing you in a hug as well

Asdfhjll thanks for showing me your cats they sound lovely and are very cute! Interesting to read about their interactions and personalities :3 Also good names as well!

I wanna show u my cats too <3

Kasi reminds me a bit of my timmy who died last year (he turned 20 (old old man) and also had arthrosis (and diabetes but the special food worked rly well for him) and loved plants (especially schnittlauch, which isnt great for cats in big quantities (he loved that shit and we had to put it out of his reach cause he always got to it)) sometimes grumpy but mostly sweet and loved cuddles and also was very vocal about getting food on time! He used to sleep next to my head :,) Oh and he too loved laying on the windowsill watching the street as well!)

Also theres cami our other cat who is a lot younger and always annoyed timmy trying to play when he just wanted to nap like the grandpa he was... shes very stubborn and fluffy, she has a very high voice like 'meeeep' and when shes feeling cuddly its the softest! She never learned how to wake me up (which timmy used to do by literally sceeaming in my ear from 0cm away) instead she always just lies on top of me and starts purring which only makes me more comfy in bed... although she has been getting more vocal recently, which i guess is a good thing :)

Thanks for sending this very long ask

i send a head bonk and hug back!

#thanks for saying nice things 🙈 i like being mutuals too!#i was so close to just keeping this ask in my inbox but its so nice it deserves and answer #also always enjoy an excuse to post cat pics as well #mine #ask #steine-druff #my cats #timmy #camaro

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i-am-hoo-iyam · 1 year

Text

The eating contest cuz idk I thought it was a fun idea for this rowdy bunch of food loving adventure seeking skele-pirates

“Are we there yet?” Sans stomach growled. “I’m putting down anchor right now! How did we run out of food again?” Razz started preparing the anchor “A rat.” Said sighed “ We had a whole bag of rice left but he spoiled it”. “Fuggin rats. First thing imma do after we eat is buy us a cat! Yeah yeah I’ll clean it’s poops and stuff”.

After they anchored and lowered the plank they noticed a crowd. “Hey look” blue got exited. “ lol klook they have a whole three tables of food!” The crew was weary of strangers but had no choice as they were starving and haven’t eaten since yesterday.

Bear approached some guy with a microphone. “Dis an earring contest?” “Well it was but then one of the contestants ran off with their pirate crew and half the prize. We only have the food and a small pouch of coins left…” “my crew is interested… if we can also get a cat if we win”

One of the contestants from the local town backed out now that the big prize was gone, but three of them stayed for fun cuz they didn’t care much about the prize, and a nice pouch of gold and silver was still worth plenty. Razz want interested and of course cash wanted someone else from the crew to win them the money. Reds brother who’s name has left me met an old friend, undyne ( the original one) and her crew of fish men and went to have breakfast with them. They were frenemies and their crews still fought but undyne and I forget his name got along well. Stretch disappeared down an alley. He didn’t like crowds. Cinimon ennt to get a crack on his goggles repaired. Papyrus found the part of the festival thet was geared more at kids, and entered himself in a kite making and flying contest.

Sans wanted to join cuz he loved eating. Blue wanted to join cuz he was overconfident in himself. Bear entered cuz he was pressuring sure he could win, being so big and able to consume A LOT of food. Red entered cuz he thought why not and he was really hungry.

Cash snuck up to bear. “Ok buddy here’s the king and short of it. I know you can win this thing there’s no doubt no siree! If you win it for me l give you this vintage bottle cap! A genuine collectible worth more than gold! All you gotta do is win this. I know you got it in the bag. Go get em champ!” Bear took the bottle cap and crushed it in his hand and dropped it. “O-ok buddy I see your not interested in my offer… how about this rare snorelite stone ( not a real mineral). Yessir genuine snorelite-“ bear put it in his mouth and bit down and broke it into peices and spit them out while looking cash in the eye. “Scram”. Cash scramed.

“We have two visiting pirate crews with us on this fine mayfest day! We have the fish men! Competing in the tournament is the strong and hungry fletcherrrrrr! And we have from our skeleton pirates, red, sans, bear, and bluuuuuueeeee! And our other two reigning champs from our very own village……… Saul and nick! Whoever can finish eating Al the food wins this small uh…” the announcer diddnt look very happy about the small pouch he could fit in one hand.

Cash slink on stage. “Here lemme annnounce the prize. The contestants are competing for this ebtire pouch of assorted silver and gold! Silver! For when the merchant doesn’t have enough to give you change back ofr gold so you can pay in silver instead! And gold! The most valuable of them all! In this 100% recycled bag thst can be used again after all the coins are emptied out! And this cat. WHAT A STEAL”. He dropped the mic at tthe feet of the astounded announcer and walked off stage.

“Well uh you heard him. What a nice proze to compete for! And a free cat with your gold! And silver. On your marks, get set, EAT EAT EAT!”

Blue was the first. He ate an entire huge ass turkey and started on the second and then puked all over his plate and ran off to cling to papyruses leg and complain about his stomach ache. Red was second, but he stopped himself before he ate too much, as he mostly joined for free food. Fletcher for eliminated and had to be carried away as he was too full to move. Sans got sick and was eliminated. Bear out ate Saul. Nick and bear were head to head. Nick stopped and started yelling in pain. He let out a huge fart and collapsed. Bear finnished the remaining food (!) and lay down right on the stage and fell asleep. Nobody could get him to wake up from his food coma.

Razz took the pouch of coins and tossed it high in a tree to watch cash try and get it. “Now how about that cat?” A young man who smelled kinda funky got exited. “ OOO we have a whole house of cats! My house…”. “Nah I don’t want some prissy pet. I want a stray or something, a cat that can get the mice and and rats on our ship”. “Oh. We have a few stays who wander to my house sometimes. If you can take one he’s yours.”

Razz and stretch went to look for a cat. Stretch pointed one out he found in the alley. “No she’s preggo. Look ehy does would she be so fat. And look at her uh her chest. We can’t just leave her here either though…” they found a nice family who was willing to take on the cat while she had her kittens. Razz round one but he was very very old. The villagers were also very fond of him. Stretch found a puppy and a little girl for exited her dog had been found. Her mom scolded her about leaving the gate ajar.

Razz saw a lovely ginger cat. Lean and healthy. He went to pick beast up and he bit razz and walked off. “This cat!” “But he just bit you”. “Exactly. He’s a killing machine”. Stretch tried approaching beast in a friendlier manner and wa sable to pick him up to take back to the ship. Beast seemed right at him and went off to chase a fly and then killed it and ate it while razz gagged.

The end cuz I’m outta ideas for the story.

#undertale #ut #undertale au #one peice au #one peice #sans #horror sans #blue #underswap

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fluffy-critter · 3 months

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#crosspost #busybee

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theflybitteneye · 6 months

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Fun fact about Furby, but because I adopt seniors with disabilities only I usually feel too bad to change their name.

The shelter I got both my boys from does already as a little extra just distance from their old lives. (My other rescue Duckie was dropped off at a vet to be euthanized. He was severely neglected. Close to death from untreated diabetes and his old owners not giving a single shit about him his whole life. There's even some question as to exactly how old he is because his teeth are so bad the vet deduced he was either much older than they said or he had profoundly poor nutrition for a long time. Left to suffer. They didn't want to pay to have him recover. Vets will sometimes get owners like them to sign papers relinquishing ownership, promise to put the pet down, then call around to see if any shelters have the room to get an animal like him into recovery. Whoever used to have him, as far as they know, he's been dead for years. Changing his name gives the vet a bit of cover in the event his old owners see a picture of him on social media and recognize him. Like, Duckie has some pretty distinct markings on his face, but like, as far as they'd know it's just as likely a eerily similar cat to the one they abandoned. What they did is totally legal, but, for some reason people get weirdly pissed to find out the animal they left to die alone is doing well and has a better life.) But by the time I get them, they've usually been in the shelter for a while. Special needs senior animals are hard to adopt out, obviously. It usually feels a bit mean, you know? Third name change after all that.

However, I made an exeption for Furby. Unfortunately since the shelter gets so many cats and they all have to be named different shit, some of them end up with real bad ones. Furby's shelter name was apparently a model of German car, hard to pronounce, and un-fucking-spellable for my dyslexic ass. I literally don't even remember what it was, and can't spell it accurately enough for Google to guess. Because of that he had a million nicknames and basically responded to anything anyway.

When I saw Furby, I fucking fell in love instantly. He doesn't seem to be all Persian, but he's clearly at least a good chunk Persian. I love Persians. I've loved them every since my little 12 year old Warrior Cat kid ass was instantly taken by best girl hag queen Yellowfang. This is no judgement to people who get pets from breeders, but, personally, I'm uncomfortable with supporting the pet breeding industry even as it pertains to "ethical" breeds, let alone unethical ones. And for those of you unaware, as gorgeous little gremlins as Persians are . . . At best, they're on par with pugs. It depends on what kind and how severe their face squish. And even before all that, just personally, in today's current pet trade market it's shelter or bust (in terms of cats and dogs, not other kinds. But even for rabbits and stuff I feel it's good practice to always check shelters first.) Persians are expensive, fancy cats, unlikely to end up in a shelter at all, and if they do, they'll be adopted out in a blink of an eye. Which is good, don't get me wrong, but, I try to always go for the ones who nobody but me would want. That's why Furby just seemed fated to be mine. Old? Needs special medical care? Tragic backstory? Completely unwanted and stuck in foster care for ages? That's MY KIND OF PET, BOyo. That he has this stupid short muzzle that makes him look like he's sucking on a lemon perpetually since he has no teeth and this big fat forehead that makes him look like a toddler about to fly into a temper tantrim was a special treat. He sits on the back of the couch with his front paws crossed and looks like the snobbiest little shiteating twink and I fucking love him with every cell in my body.

He looks exactly like the 1998 Furby I had as a kid. The white one with black spots. I collect furby stuff, as I am a toy collector and modder obviously, so the name seemed absolutely perfect. . . Too perfect. Profoundly far too perfect. In what I can only describe as a cosmic troll-job, he happens to also have something else very much in common with the 1998 Furby I had as a kid.

He. Never. Fucking. Shuts. Up.

In his distinct high pitched wail (if you've heard a Persian meow before, you'll know what I mean) he cries incessantly. Dare I not pay attention to him when he demands it, nothing but screaming. Unfortunately like an idiot, I've reinforced the behavior by accident. The more annoying he is the faster I'll drop everything to get him to stop with food or pets, so now he just goes full Final Girl to get what he wants as fast as possible. The only way he isn't like his name sake is that he has no batteries to remove in a desperate bid for peace. Like all cats, he's an agent of chaos unrivaled by any other animal on the planet. The degrees him and his brother can cause mischief in my daily life is unparalleled.

That sounds all extremely negative, but like, believe it or not this is exactly what I love about cats. I went through a very long battle with what felt like and endless cascade of health problems I'm only now starting to actually recover from over the past three years, and I don't think I would have survived it without my boys. No matter how sick or depressed or lost in a endless mental fog I got, these little pissbabies managed to get me to interact with them or there would be hell to pay. They managed to be as charming as ever charm me even while they caused all the fucking mayham they could.

Even when I felt like staying in bed until I rotted and died, Furby screamed until I got up. Duckie sent stuff crashing to the ground until I snapped out of my haze.

Non-cat people think cat lovers are insane, but like, it's never a fucking dull moment with them around. The will of cats is infamous, and in a lot of ways I think the real reason I managed to survive all I did was because it was inconvenient for my two little goblin kids to have to find another forever home if I kicked it, so they made sure that didn't happen.

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