#//May need recovery time tbh so I may be a while
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In the mood for...
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1. Hiii! Happy new year!!! Wish y’all the best! For the next itmf I’d like a fic where wangxian meets madame Lan, could be time travel, through inquiry or as a ghost! Thank you<3333
Every Mother's Son by Chrononautical (T, 11k, WangXian, Madam Lán Lives, Madam Lán Deserves Better, Madam Lán Leaves Cloud Recesses, Madam Lan rescues women from abusive husbands in feudal Japan and honestly that's so valid of her, mentions of rape/non-con between Madam Lan & Qingheng-Jun)
The Dreams of Youth by sami (E, 86k, wangxian, time travel, fix-it, family, not lan sect friendly, canon typical violence & gore, childhood friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, mothers who live, some people live/not everyone dies)
For Both Of Us (And Time Is But A Paper Moon) by sami (E, 65k, wangxian, JC & WWX; JC & LWJ, LWJ & LXC, Canonical Character Death, Mentions of Rape, not explicit but definitely referenced, Time Travel, Not Everyone Dies au, Canon-Typical Violence, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, WWX/babie tendencies, WQ is a queen in any reality, Healing, Yunmeng Shuangjie, Canon Divergence, Asexual JC, First Time, Getting Together, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, WWX finds new ways to be oblivious, seriously it surprised even us) lwj & jc time travel fix-it. lwj manages to save his mom & later get her away from the lan entirely.
Though I'm Gone (Still Think Of Me) by sami (M, 7k, wangxian, JC & WWX, LWJ & Madam Lan, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, WWX/WWX (kinda), honestly what did you expect, Chaos Gremlin WWX, Yunmeng Shuangjie, Asexual JC, JC & WWX reconciliation) involves an lwj whose mother died like in canon meeting his au still-living mother who was saved by time travel fix-it au. may make more sense if you've read "For Both Of Us (And Time Is But A Paper Moon)", but if you really just want lwj getting to hug & cry on his mom again you don't need more context than the fic contains.
if i had the strength by agloeian (M, 16k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Fix-It, somewhat of a case fic, Heaven Official's Blessing inspired gods & ghosts, No Spoilers for Heaven Official's Blessing, Mild Alcohol Abuse, Mental Health Issues, WWX is not in a great place for a lot of this fic, He Gets Better Though!, this fic is all about learning to give yourself the help you give others tbh, Baby LJY, recovery fic, Accidental Baby Acquisition) wangxian meet ghost mama lan
All Exits Look The Same by Ahlai (T, 14k, LSZ & LWJ, LXC & LWJ, Madam Lan & LWJ, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Madam Lán Lives, Family Feels, Healing, Grief/Mourning) lwj banished from the lan with a'yuan instead of getting whipped and winds up meeting his mother.
pale shadows of forgotten names by Chrononautical (T, 56k, wangxian, Madam Lán Lives, Madam Lán Deserves Better, Good Sibling LXC, Badass LXC, He gets there in the end it just takes a while, Not particularly JGY friendly, Gūsū Lán Sect Rules, Canon-Typical Behavior, Unresolved Sexual Tension, the universal fear of growing up to become one of your parents, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives AU, Except WN but he's very polite, Arranged Marriage, Forced Marriage, Imprisonment, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, not between wangxian, Drunk LWJ, to lighten the mood, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Traumatized WWX, though he will not admit it, Taking time to heal, canon-typical communication skills)
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2. itmf wangxian double penetration fics, preferably with wwx bottoming but no strong preference. 3rd person can be another lwj/wwx or other character!
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3. This is an IITMF ask! I was looking through the shapeshifter tags and the comp on this site and I couldn’t find many wangxian stories where both WWX and LWZ were both dragons, and the ones I could find were very short. So that’s the quest, give me some recs where both of them are dragons. Long fics would be amazing, but any length is wanted. @omgnectarina
🔒 Dragons of Cloud Recesses Series by Vrishchika (E/M, 50k, WangXian, Dragons Dragon LWJ, Fantasy, Explicit Smut in Last Chapter, Pining, POV LWJ, Canon Divergence, Immortals, Deities, Canon-Typical Violence, Dragon WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Mpreg, Sort Of, Tenderness, Non-Explicit Sex, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, supportive families, Not JC Friendly, Noodle Babies)
💖 Magical Marriage Ribbons series by starandrea (M, 1M, wangxian, ongoing, animal transformations, weddings) kinda?
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4. ITMF: animal whisperer wei ying? And/or baby whisperer Wei Ying? Idk I just want animal or babies to love wwx and come up to him or something. Doesn't have to be main point of the fic, or it can be. Please suggest log fics.
Baby Whisperer Wei Wuxian by Preludian_Staves (T, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Not Jiang Clan Friendly, Arranged Marriage (eventually for reasons), Parent-Child Relationship, Soft WWX, Pining LWJ, Good Parent WWX, WWX Is Good With Children, Single Parent WWX, Fluff and Angst, Developing Relationship) it's not long but Wei Wuxian: Baby Whisperer is good. Maybe also Wei Wuxian's Home for Lost Creatures
Wei Wuxian’s Home for Lost Creatures by Stratisphyre (G, 22k, WangXian, Fusion, Fluff, Single Dad LWJ, Near Drowning, injured animals, First Meetings, Falling In Love, Modern with Magic)
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5. Happy New Year, mods!!!
For the next ITMF, can you guys recommend some complete fics::
A) wwx and xue yang being bros, close, or related to eo. B) wwx is not a cultivator or any similar to this. C) lwj being vocal? like he knows and voice out his opinion/needs/wants.
5A)
a bird in your teeth by Eevee (ChaosBitch) (E, 61k, JYL/XY, wangxian, Let XY have nice things, Let JYL get some good dick, (sorry JZX I know you did your best), Past JYL/JZX, Past JYL/MM, All of the sex in this fic is consensual, But one of the participants IS a fierce corpse, JYL POV, Minor Character Death, I feel like this fic turned out surprisingly soft, but XY still does some onscreen murders, Implied/Referenced Torture, Mention of JGS's canon behavior, Mentions of XY's canon behavior, Also Wangxian is not the main pairing, but they're definitely here and stupider in love than ever, Angst, past XY/JGY, Hopeful Ending) WWX & XY are sort of awkward brothers-in-law in this
🔒 necromancy is a valid career path! series by coslyons, Skadiseven (T, 41k, WWX & XY, WQ & XY, WN & XY, WWX & WN & WQ, LSZ & XY, LWJ & XY, Granny Wen & XY, wangxian, Modern with Magic, Seattle, Necromancy, Found Family, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Gardens & Gardening, Mathematics, Running, and other crimes against Teenagers, XY is a shitty teen, sometimes a family can be, three mildly feral twenty-somethings, and the extremely feral teenager that adopts them, Growing Up, The Mortifying Ordeal of Realizing Your Pseudo-parents are People Too, Big brother XY, A-Yuan is a little gremlin, WWX is a much larger gremlin)
It's Wife Cake, Wei Ying by stiltonbasket (G, 3k, WangXian, Modern AU, Bakery, Baker WWX, First Meetings, Soft WangXian, ft. feral teenager xy, POV LWJ, Happy Ending, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Love at First Sight)
5B)
Copying Scriptures by chiyukimei (E, 31k, wangxian, graphic depictions of violence, Genius WWX, Palace, canon wangxian dynamics, Angst with a Happy Ending, LWJ Bites, LWJ is the baby of the Lan Clan, Good Uncle LQR, WangXian are parents, Fluff, Blood and Injury, Self-Harm)
As well as WWX's half of the Non-cultivator Wangxian comp
5C)
Respectable, Decent, and Quiet by Theotrix (E, 5k, WangXian, Porn with Feelings, Post-Canon, repressed lwj, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Loud Sex, Emotional release) Does being vocal during sex count?
Astilbe by moonflowers (E, 24k, WangXian, Minor NieLan, Developing 3zun, Canon Divergence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, No Golden Core Transfer, No Sunshot Campaign, everyone is in their thirties, LWJ is a Confident Gay, Past LWJ/Other(s), Those are off screen though, Oblivious WWX, Compulsory Heterosexuality, LWJ & NHS Friendship, Besties in fact, Spring books, erotic art, Getting Together, Fluff, Humor, POV Alternating, Drinking, Masturbation, WWX Has a Bisexual Awakening, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, the smut is brief)
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6. Hi! Happy New Year! ✨
I was reading for sixth (or more) time "And time is but a paper moon" by sami, one of my favorite fics Wangxian and I thought, I need another confort fic like this.
Sth fix it, happy ending, all lived except the bad ones, Wangxian is together soon, you know, sth all confort.
So that's my ask for my first ITMF of 2024: sth all confort, canon divergence or time travel, Wangxian center if possible.
Thanks! ❤️ @wangxiansgirl
❤️ in case of fire, break glass by Jenrose (T, 65k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Post-Canon, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, unless I hate them, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Genius Inventor WWX, NHS Finds His Calling, No Women Die)
Family by Quiet_crash (G, 57k, wangxian, Time Travel Fix-It, Grief/Mourning, Loss of Parent(s), Established Relationship)
❤️ Hope series by RoseThorne (T, 57k, wangxian, WWX & YZY, WWX & JFM, WWX & JYL, YZY/JFM, JC & WWX, LQR & WWX, LXC & JYL, Madam Jin & YZY, LQR & JFM, LXC & LWJ, Transmigration, Time Travel Fix-It, Illnesses, Family, Scars, Memory Loss, Angst, Crying, Music, Nosebleed, Fear, Recovery, Nightmares, Sharing a Bed, Flirting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Parent YZY, Referenced Sexual Slavery, Blood and Gore, Monsters, Sexual Tension, betrothal, Arranged Marriage, Grief, Adoption, POV Third Person, POV Alternating, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Good Parent LQR, Clairvoyance, Butterfly Effect, Kid Fic, Epistolary, Food, Secrets, Resentful Energy, Cultivation Sect Politics, Character Death)
A Bell That Tells Us to Rise and Fight by DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee (T, 120k, WangXian, ChengQing, XuanLi, SongXiao, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Everyone Needs A Hug, Women Being Awesome, BAMF Women, Minor Character Death)
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7. Hello, could you please suggest some fics where wwx is transported (time travel/incense burner/...) in the time where lwg was mourning him and consoles him? Bonus points if lwg's still recovering from his punishment. Thank you for all the wonderful works you find!
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8. First time asking, but do you have recommendation of mdzs characters watching but instead of the untamed/novel/manhua their reacting to fanfictions or alternate universe? That's all thank you.
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9. Itmf fics where wwx is raised/from a different sect or clan or common family other than the 5 great ole sects? If u could find long fics please?
Copying Scriptures by chiyukimei (E, 31k, wangxian, graphic depictions of violence, Genius WWX, Palace, canon wangxian dynamics, Angst with a Happy Ending, LWJ Bites, LWJ is the baby of the Lan Clan, Good Uncle LQR, WangXian are parents, Fluff, Blood and Injury, Self-Harm) (link in 5B) As well as WWX's half of the Non-cultivator Wangxian comp (link in 5B)
the fic where WWX was raised by the He clan (I forgot the name)
every world, every universe by glitteringmoonlight (T, 5k, wangxian, HS & WWX, Canon Divergence, WWX is in Tingshan He, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiāngs, (not that he was in canon but I digress), Fix-It of Sorts, Genius WWX) WWX is the He sect head disciple in ' every world, every universe' by glitteringmoonlight
what builds a home by Stratisphyre (T, 45k, WangXian, MY & WWX, Canon Divergence, Adopted WWX, POV Multiple, warning for JGS behaving exactly as expected, child endangerment, Brother Feels, Minor Character Death) meng shi leaves the brothel and winds up raising wwx and xy alongside my
Become Tomorrow by ShanaStoryteller (Not rated, 39k, wangxian, BSSR/LY, Alternate Universe, a story full of tragic pining gays, and one chaotic gremlin, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, WWX is BSSR's disciple) wwx raised by bssr
Cartwheels In Cloud Recesses Series by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 23k, WangXian, CSSR/WCZ, CSSR and WCZ Live, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans)
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10. Hi! Happy New Year. I'm in the mood for a fic in which the juniors find wwx really attractive. Wangxian endgame, whether they are already together or not in the beginning doesn't matter. Also a-yuan is wwx's son, and the juniors are his friends or classmates. Whatever timeline the story was set does not matter to me. I just find it funny that a-yuan is so done with his friends simping over his dad. Thanks in advance!!! @yunshenlianhua
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11. Hi! Thank you for all your work running this page! I've found so many great fics here, your compilations are awesome! For my first ever ITMF ask, I'm looking for fic where WWX and LWJ get to fall in love and get engaged and/or married during the CR study arc. I love seeing them able to get together early and tackle things together instead of being separated for so long without talking things through. Can be time travel, canon divergence, fix-it (my favorite!), anything except modern AU, and the closer to canon setting the better, because butterfly effects are so fun to read! (I've already read all of sami's Paper Moon stuff, for example) Thank you again, hope you have a great day! @queerlyloud
🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 742k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) Canon Divergence AU during CRSA where WX get engaged & later married
I Have Arranged to Tie You to Me by xxxMiaHikarixxx (G, 47k, WIP, WangXian, Lan protective team, Time Travel, Past, LWJ oriented, Arranged Marriage, Boys In Love, Soulmates, Fix-It, Jiang siblings, not jiang parents friendly, JC is slowly becoming a good sibling, Soft LWJ, Protective LWJ, Genius WWX) maybe I Have Arranged to Tie You to Me which is a WIP with an early betrothal after Lan Zahn time travels.
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12. ITMF: Hello! I am looking for modern aus where cultivation is studied scientifically/academically, especially if WWX or LWJ is used as a lab rat. Similar fics to “The Shade of Old Trees” by Kryal and “Truth Will Out (when caught on video)” by KizuKatana: currently loving these wips!! Thank you so much! @gloriousclotpole
Hear a song this deeply by so_shhy (T, 87k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, modern cultivation au, Kind of academia AU, Music, Kid Fic, Action/Adventure, To An Extent, Original Character(s), Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending) The fic mentioned but not remembered for #12 might be Hear a song this deeply by so_shhy / for 12 I know there's a fic about LWJ and WWX working together to rediscover musical cultivation from the old Lan texts, but I can't remember the title right now
💖 One Can Keep A Secret (If He Does Not Know It’s There)by H_Belle (T, 5k, wangxian, NHS & WWX, modern w/ cultivation, inventor WWX, secret identity, identity reveal, YLLZ WWX, rogue cultivator WWX, pining LWJ, WWX pov)
but his smile never dimmed by Stratisphyre (G, 9k, LQR & WWX, modern cultivation, College/University, WWX's canonical self-worth issues, Reasonable Authority Figure LQR, depiction of panic attacks, no plot only feelings, Parenthood, JFM's A+ parenting)
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13. hiiii, thanks for your hard work! itmf some fics that have humor with wangxian or maybe even with family, thanksss @aquiver-heart
❤️ The One-Body Problem by metisket (T, 29k, LJY & WWX, LJY & LSZ, wangxian, possession, cohabitation)
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14. Hi itmf
Can I please get any fic of wangxian as parents just helping their adopted kid out of a bad mental phase ? Or any mdzs character?
Ik it's difficult but please it will help a lot
Thicker Than the Water of the Womb by bubblebubblebubbletea (M, 31k, wangian, JL/LSZ, WIP, Past Rape/Non-con, found family au, WWX is trying to give them the life he never had, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, LWJ has asd, WWX Has ADHD, WWX Has PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, Autistic Character, Selectively Mute LWJ, JYL is the best mother ever, Homophobic Language, minor homophobia from background characters)
a thousand fragile and unprovable things by theLoyalRoyalGuard (G, 5k, WangXian, Modern AU, Trans Male Character, Trans MXY, MXY Deserves Happiness, Best Dads Wangxian, Handwaving The Legal System With The Power of LWJ, A little bit of angst, mostly soft, Happy Ending, Gender Happiness, Let LWJ Wear Skirts Agenda, Additional Warnings In Author's Note)
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15. Hello! For your next ITMF, could you please add an ask for some good canon-era SongXiao fixits or HEAs? Doesn't have to be the main focus, in fact I'd be fine if it's just a small piece of a larger Wangxian story, it's just that I've been listening to the audio drama and it gave me some major Yi City blues. No Songxuexiao, please. Thank you! @ladysalieri
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16. hello!! hoping to find 30k words+ fics about wgxn and their post canon shenanigans :]] preferably as close as possible to their canon selves!! thank you :D nsfw is fine no nfsw is fine mainly just looking for 'extension to the story'!!
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17. fics where lqr or the juniors r so tired of them being ridiculously in love just silly little short stories
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If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***
#wangxian#mdzs#wangxian fic recs#i'm in the mood for a fic#the untamed#wangxian fic search#wangxianficfinder#long post
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Baby Severide - Chapter 3: Naming Baby Severide
*Gif belongs to its rightful owner, it is not mine*
Pairing: Kelly Severide x reader
Summary: Baby Severide is finally here and you and Kelly are tasked with naming her.
Words: 874
Warnings: Doctors, hospitals, angry moms
Read on Ao3 here
Next Chapter: Chapter 4
Notes: Chapter 3’s posting is kinda a surprise but I like this chapter tbh. This is likely the last chapter I’ll post before vacation, but I may queue chapter 4 sometime next weekend! As always, a Reblog on any chapter of the fic means you will be tagged in any new chapters! Enjoy
Tags: @district447 @keabbs @storiesofsvu @marvelcharactersxreader @carnationworld @witchywinchester99 @treehouse-mouse @skullcupcakes @whatismypurpos
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“She’s almost here,” Dr Calhoun announced, “just a few more minutes and you’ll meet your little girl.”
“See baby? You’re doing amazing,” Kelly beamed, kissing you on the cheek.
“I didn’t think I’d be this nervous to be on the table,” you chuckled.
“And she’s out,” Dr Calhoun announced, rushing the baby to the warmer behind her.
“Why isn’t she crying? Kelly, why isn’t she crying?” You asked, a worried tone to your voice.
“Dr Calhoun? Is everything okay?” Kelly gruffly called over.
“Just clearing the mouth and nose and taking some measurements. Nothing to worry about,” she replied, “the nurses will take her final measurements and bring her over while I close your abdomen.”
You heard a loud wail come from across the room. You were both okay.
“We’re bring her over now, Mrs Severide,” a nurse told you as she brought over your baby and set her on your chest.
“Baby, she’s beautiful,” you started to tear up.
“She gets it from her mama,” he replied, brushing back your hair and kissing your forehead.
As Dr Calhoun finished stitching you up, the team got you ready to head into post op.
The trip to your recovery room was long, but your new baby made it feel short.
Once you and Kelly were settled in your recovery room, a nurse knocked on your door.
“Mrs Severide?” the nurse asked, “two firefighters are here to see you.”
“Send them in please,” you replied.
A few moments later, Casey and Boden walked through your door.
“How’d it go?” Casey asked you.
“I’m okay. Baby is perfect” you replied, a smile stuck to your face.
“Glad to hear,” Boden smiled, “the rest of 51 will be by after shift.”
“We just figured the two of us would come by for now, keep the knuckleheads at the firehouse,” Casey laughed.
“Knock knock,” Dr Calhoun said, pushing the door back, “is now a good time?”
“We’ll leave you guys be. I’ll bring Sylvie by tomorrow,” Casey smiled.
“Thanks Matt,” Kelly replied.
“Thank you guys for coming. It’s good to know she already has 51 looking out for her,” you smiled, wiping the tears off your face.
Casey and Boden left the room, as Doctor Calhoun made her way over to your bedside.
“The surgery went well. We’ll keep you here for a few days, then you both should be good to go home,” she smiled.
“That’s great news,” Kelly smiled.
“The best thing now is establishing some skin-to-skin with both of you. I’ll leave you guys to it, but a nurse will be outside if you need anything.”
Kelly helped you unbutton the top clasps on your gown, exposing the top of your chest. Feeling your brand new baby breathe on your chest was a surreal feeling, something you’d never thought you’d get.
Doctor Calhoun left your room. Kelly leaned over your bed and kissed you.
Looking over at you with your brand new baby, Kelly said, “I guess we should name her now, huh?”
“I’ve got a few ideas,” you chuckled.
“Which are?” He smiled.
“Well, for starters, I would like it to mean and honour something. I know we’ve talked about it before, but I think her middle name should be Shay. Leslie is a big reason we’re together and if we weren’t together, this little girl wouldn’t be here.”
“Baby,” Kelly’s eyes started to fill with tears, “I love you- I don’t even know what to say.”
“So that’s a yes to the middle name?”
“Of course it’s a yes.”
“Ok so first name ideas?”
“Alexis.”
“Alexis?”
“Your sister would’ve hopped on a plane as soon as we found out you were pregnant if it weren’t for losing her at 28. If she can’t be here, we should find a way to honour her memory. Alexis would’ve loved meeting her niece.”
“Alexis Shay Severide?”
“So it’s settled?”
“It’s settled. Ready to hold your daughter?”
“Never been so ready.”
“Take your shirt off then, mister.”
“Damn, I missed you saying that,” he laughed.
Picking up Alexis and handing her over to her father, your husband. It still didn’t feel real.
“She really is so beautiful,” he smiled.
There was a knock on the door and a blonde woman with glasses poked her head around the corner.
“We should call your mom,” Kelly reminded, “she’d want to come meet Alexis.”
“Can you FaceTime her?”
“Of course, babe. Do you want her back?”
“Well I mean, if you’re offering,” you chuckled.
You took Alexis back from Kelly and he grabbed his phone to call your mom.
“Hey mom, I’ve got someone who I think you’ll want to meet,” you laughed, Kelly tipping the phone down to see Alexis.
“Honey! You didn’t tell me she was arriving early! What’s her name? When was she born?” Your mom gushed.
“That’s actually why we’re calling. We figured you’d want to come meet her in person. She was born late this morning, then we picked her name a few minutes ago. Meet your granddaughter, Alexis Shay Severide.”
“Alexis? Like your sister?” She sighed, “why would you do that?”
“We thought it would be a good way to honour the life of my sister. Is there something wrong?” You felt yourself become stressed.
#kelly severide x you#kelly severide imagine#kelly severide fic#kelly severide x reader#kelly severide#chicago fire fic#chicago fire#chicago fire x reader#one Chicago#one chicago fic#Baby Severide fic
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ooo purposeful splitting? is that a temporary thing while you continue to recover or a part of your overall recovery goal?
tbh kinda playing it by ear? We're unsure if temporarily splitting is actually healing for us or if it's a maladaptive form of coping that we will work on eliminating, but I think truth of the matter is sometimes we may regress to old coping behaviors and beating myself up over it versus just accepting it's a thing and being intentional when I notice it happening is probably more helpful in the long run.
Like, somedays I'm so stressed out that I use video games to relax. Video games themselves aren't inherently bad, but over-reliance on them as a coping mechanism to the point I neglect my responsibilities and my relationships is bad (which is something that has happened for me in the past). Similarly, temporarily splitting when I'm stressed or overwhelmed every once in a while will probably help me in the short run but I do need to be mindful about not overly-relying on splitting and dissociation all the time. I hope to include more and more coping mechanisms in my toolbox as I continue to heal and recover so that I can rely less on dissociation but I also acknowledge that sometimes it may just be the best tool to use in that situation for whatever reason.
So with all this in mind, it's not really a temporary thing nor is it a goal. It's just... a thing that's going to happen. I hope that made sense, anon.
#did#dissociative identity disorder#actually did#actuallydid#did osdd#osddid#cdd#did system#didrecovery#did recovery#splitting#did splitting#by reimei
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Being at Your Worst Leaves its Marks
This post will only contain my personal opinion and experience. It may not be applicable to other people who have the same conditions as me and may likewise be relatable to people who have different ones.
I am not really sure how to start this post, so I guess let me warn you that there will be mentions of deep depression, unaliving thoughts/intents (insta doesnt like the s word), psychosis, paranoia, trauma, death, violence and whatever else falls under it tbh. This is not a happy post...I think...
I am not aiming for pity, nor am I trying to encourage people to do/believe any of the following, or discourage people from recovery! This is an educational piece and a chance for me to once again practise honesty, vulnerability and maybe shed light onto something rarely discussed, cus its just too personal.
Its been 8 years since I hit my personal first rock bottom. 8 years since I ran away from home for the day, because I didn't have the strength to just talk. I needed to create a situation in which I was forced to admit it, forced to talk about it. I couldn't do it on my own. Recently we visited that place again, that parking lot where I told my parents in tears, that I did not want to be alive.
Its still the exact same parking lot as it was and even though I am a changed person now, seeing that place again reminded me of things I had wanted to forget. It reminded me of scars that aren't visible, of marks you'll never be able to lay your eyes on.
That moment has stayed with me and I don't doubt that it will continue to do so. I will never forget how scared I was when I finally took my parents call after having ignored it for hours on end, but I will also never forget how relieved I was when I finally told them that I wanted to d*e and my mother threw her arms around me and I felt loved and seen for the first time in ages.
Its been 8 years since I had my first contact with the psychiatric industry in my country. 8 years since my first encounter with a therapist, who I told about my violent thoughts, my delusional beliefs, the situation at home, my feelings of being unloved & unseen, my mission and what I had been planning to do.
She medically recognized me with conduct disorder and gave me an ASPD prognosis, which is something I, today, am not happy about. I wish she had looked at me as someone who could still be fixed and wasn't doomed to develop that condition, because ultimately it influenced me negatively and is part of why I do fit it today. She was in the position to tell me that I wasn't a lost cause and she did the exact opposite.
I still don't hate her though, because despite her being the cause of one of my biggest "what if" scenario spirals, she never, not once told me I was an evil monster or a bad person. She was non judgemental when it mattered, she didn't forcibly admit me even when she could have done it easily, but instead gave me the power to choose my own path. That, I will forever remain thankful for, even if I am unhappy about the way my case was handled overall. I still can't help but wonder: what if?
Its been 8 years since I stood in front of my classmates declaring that the government is controlling us, that they are all sheep and that I am the only one who understands what is really going on, but that that also is the reason why the government is out to get me. 8 years since I was so undeniably convinced that I was not human, as I was so much better than them, and thought I had been given the mission to save humanity or eradicate it.
I must have seemed absolutely insane and looney to my classmates, while I was spouting those beliefs, while also telling them explicitly about the fate that was awaiting them by my hand, namely: "death". I am still surprised that no one ever reported me to the teachers, but I guess they just never took me seriously and instead encouraged me to end it all, or just come and end them, so I'd be arrested.
To this day I am cautious about any type of literature about school sh*otings, nonhumanity, governmental control and the like, just as I am careful about political ideology. I know what it did to me, I can still remember every single moment and I am scared of what it could do to me again in the wrong circumstances. It has left a mark. A glaring one.
Its been 8 years since a lot of the most traumatizing and bad shit of my life happened and in those 8 years there has rarely been a moment, where it has not affected my life in some way. Not a single moment, where it has truly left me alone, because those things have scarred the inside of me.
Hitting rock bottom, having to be honest about whats going on, being confronted with choices that I didn't know were going to significantly shape my future and having to live with the things that happened, because I did in fact survive that period? Theres no words that'll ever describe how hard that is.
I am not angry that I chose to work on myself.
I don't regret getting better and telling people.
I don't yearn for how things used to be.
Well most of the time at least.
But what I did really want to talk about is this: No matter how much I recover, no matter how well I get, there will always be marks and scars, that I can't forget.
I'll forever have to be careful around politics, media and the like, because I know how easy I am triggered and lose myself in the wrong things. No amount of recovery will erase that danger completely and no amount of recovery will take away the anxiety I have regarding this.
I'll forever have to live with the choices I made, the things I claimed and the thoughts I had and most especially the consequences this had on how people viewed me. No amount of recovery is gonna get rid of the past and no amount of recovery will erase the knowledge, that some people out there have the power to ruin my life, if they went public with the things I did, to the wrong people at the wrong time. They could tear me apart and portray me as the villain, because I was (even if non maliciously sometimes) and I am scared of it, cause I really really don't want to be that villain anymore.
I'll forever remember the places and times where significant things happened. I can't go to a McDonalds without remembering that evening in the parking lot. I can't walk by my old house without remembering the countless fights. I can't walk by my old school without remembering the worst days. No amount of recovery will take those memories away and no amount of recovery will erase what those moments have done. I know that the effect of those memories will lessen and that I get to choose how I look at them, but they'll always define me. And while that isn't necessarily a bad thing, I really do dislike that sometimes.
As mentioned in the beginning, I am not aiming to discourage you from recovery! Rather I want to give a kinda realistic picture of what life, pre rock bottom, could look like for many people.
Its a weird sort of situation when you have changed a lot,
have worked trough loads of things and are so much better off overall, but still have to live your daily life with the knowledge of what once was and what could be again.
I never intended to be here at this point yk? I wasn't supposed to still be here. But I am and I got to a point where I am also just kinda glad I am? Which however, and this is very important to me, doesn't mean I am not still traumatized and scarred. I am, heavily so! Those things still haunt me and maybe they will forever, cause I don't know if you can truly get rid of marks that deep! But yk what? I kinda think I am really beautiful with marks and scars like that and I decided that I am not gonna let them stop me from being happy.
(first posted on my instagram (same @)
#mental health education#actually aspd#mental health#aspd awareness#mental heath awareness#recovery efforts#recovery#psychiatric system#psychosis awareness#delusional
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Broken Ground - For Want of a Nail
When I was reading it, my first though when Jean’s narration mentioned feeling a sensation of ‘separation’ regarding her trapped arm my first thought was that it had been severed, and that was my chief suspicious all the way until we finally saw Barbara heal it. So, what if it was too damaged for Barbara to heal, and so was either left completely non-functional or lost outright?
Thank you for the ask! :>
ETA: For clarity, the 'separation' Jean felt in the first chapter was her Vision being torn away, rather than her arm.
Regardless, fun facts: I did, in fact, consider having Jean lose a limb when I was first mapping this out! (And then thought for a very long time while working on the second draft about paralyzing her legs.) TBH the reason I didn't is that "Jean is disabled sufficiently that she may no longer be capable as a Knight" is a very different ending from "Jean is temporarily disabled while in recovery," and I wanted to keep anything raised in the ending from overrunning the optimism of the epilogue wrap-up.
As a corollary, if it had been lost outright, the wrap-up would not have been anywhere near as optimistic. With simply a missing limb, it is entirely possible that Jean could continue with the Knights in some capacity, even as a fighter since she uses a one-handed weapon--but she would be looking at a long time of re-training towards that goal, and I think that most of her focus would be on that, and the connection with Barbara, things like the TCG event, would fall by the wayside. At best their connection would be Barbara helping her with that re-training, which, while it would still be a kind of bonding, would be a lot more fraught for both of them, because Barbara would be standing there having to watch Jean push herself over and over, while also struggling with what I'm sure she'd see as a failure as a healer.
I think there's still an interesting Jean-and-Barbara narrative to be found in that situation, but it's overall a pretty rocky one, and would need another like 40k words for me to feel like I'd done it properly and would end up very much shifting the focus of the fic. If I didn't do all that, to keep the existing sibling-parallels focus, then I think the weight of that would be in the epilogue, which would be a much more bittersweet, "everything has changed and maybe we can build a better relationship in the midst of that, but it's going to be a struggle" flavor as opposed to the existing fluff.
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These are some of my HC for what happens in the three years between the battle at Quiet Zero and the epilogue. You obviously don't have to read them at all, this is your official TL;DR warning. I just wanted to get them on paper so to speak. These are just some of my initial thoughts in the few days since the finale, I will probably add more if I think of any.
My Sulemio/WFM Headcanons
The first 6 months to a year after the battle at Quiet Zero are ROUGH! Suletta spends a lot of time essentially catatonic, and when she does wake up, she can't speak and is very obviously very weak. During the first couple of months especially, there's a lot of thought as to whether or not she'll ever be able to truly lead a normal life. Elnora is in a similar boat as her daughter, but recovers much quicker than Suletta does in some aspects (obviously in the epilogue she isn't walking, but I think that's more choice than it is her being unable to. Maybe because she is older? Idk). It's obviously hard to guesstimate how long recovering from fictional permet related injuries could be in relation to real life stuff.
Miorine spends EVERY MOMENT POSSIBLE at Suletta bedside. Obviously the others from Earth House visit as well, but Mio might as well live there in the immediate aftermath of QZ. And she does this all while still working. Any work that can be done quietly is done in Suletta's hospital room. Anything that can't be done quietly is either done immediately outside Suletta's room or in one of the hospital's conference rooms. The doctors try to get her to leave, but she refuses. The hospital practically has to install a bench or chairs outside of the room in case they really do need Mio to leave the room for a minute, and as soon as the doctors are done she practically materializes next to Suletta again. Others have walked in on Mio holding Suletta's hand, or sleeping hunched over in a chair resting her head on the bed.
Ericht doesn't start speaking for a while after she takes over the Hot-san keychain. And the first person she does speak to is actually Miorine. Eri tells Mio to go home and actually a full nights sleep. This obviously freaks Mio tf out, as where could this voice possibly be coming from. Once Eri explains to the best of her ability what may or may not have happened at QZ, she puts her foot down and tells Mio to go home, that Suletta will be fine for a few hours alone, and almost immediately starts pulling the Sister-in-law card to get Mio to do what she wants. After this, Mio does start to spend less time in the hospital, but instead of being there 24/7, it's more like 16/6. Still most of her time, but now Mio is actually taking care of herself more.
The only day that no one comes to Suletta's room is the day of Nika's sentencing. Everyone knows what Nika did was wrong, but they all still love her so much that they can't not be there for her. Earth House visits her almost as much as they visit Suletta.
Eventually, Suletta really does come to, and thankfully Miorine is working from the hospital room when she does. There are tears. Lots of them. Suletta still can't really talk or move, but she is lucid and actively listening. Speech and Physical therapy start pretty soon after that. One day, after a particularly good speech therapy session, Mio comes to the hospital and Suletta has a surprise: "I love you" in the raspiest, quietest voice you can imagine. But it's been said. Mio can't help but run over and hug Suletta, sobbing tears of joy and relief, and obviously returning the sentiment. Slowly they start to have full conversations, and Eri is involved in most of these as well. From here on out, it's basically all sunshine and rainbows. Obviously it is still very very hard, and there are still blood, sweat, and tears being shed, but we all know Suletta. Once she starts truly recovering, her recovery happens relatively fast. We know she's still not walking without support, and tbh I don't think she ever truly will, but it doesn't take long to go from bedridden, to sitting up on her own, to learning how to walk again.
Once Suletta is sitting up under her own power, you basically always hear laughter and excited talking coming from her hospital room. Eri keeps Suletta company most of the time, at least in the beginning, until eventually she asks Miorine to take the keychain bound ghost with her. The others from Earth House visit often, though still not as often as the bride to be. They bring Suletta her class work, keep her updated on the happenings at school, and tell her of their plans after graduation, and so much more. Mio becomes very doting during this time, almost out of nowhere. She likes to feed Suletta, and gives her extra attention when the doctors tell Mio that Suletta had done particularly well at her therapy sessions that day.
Sulemio spend a lot of time looking at houses, or plots of lands where they could possibly build a house. Suletta sees a listing for a plot of land, a few acres wide, looking over a valley, and enthuses about how lovely it would be to live there. Mio builds a relatively, small cottage on the plot of land, at least in comparison to her wealth. It's big enough for them, plus all of their friends to share rooms if they wanted to spend the night. And a separate mother in law suite that's only about a minute walk from the house, so that the couple and the MIL can have their privacy while still being in close enough proximity to take care of each other. They move into this house the moment the doctors give Suletta the all clear. Mio decorated the house, but she lets Suletta pick some decorations "as a treat." Let's be honest, I don't think Suletta has a single bone in her body that would make her good at designing.
GUND-Arm Inc no longer exists, but Miorine has started a new company that focuses on more practical medicine and has done away with most Gundam/permet related technology. She still thinks it would be great to have that technology one day, but for now that's not much more than a side project. Once Suletta is out of the hospital, Mio starts a nonprofit that will give Suletta the capital to build that school on Mercury she's always wanted. It's obviously mostly funded but Mio and her company, but Guel is definitely strong armed by Mio into putting some capital towards the cause. Suletta mostly coordinates, since interstellar travel probably puts a huge toll on her body, but all of Earth House is on Mercury for the grand opening, where Suletta gets to cut the ribbon and welcome the first class of students.
Sulemio definitely get married at some point after Suletta is out of the hospital, but it's not really a formal wedding. It's really just their friends and family acting as witnesses, and then a small party at the house. They can't quite wait any longer to call each other "wife," but they just can't bring themselves to have a full ceremony without Nika there. Once Nika is out, Sulemio plan on having a real wedding ceremony, and plan on inviting not just friends and family, but everyone they can think of and really going all out.
Everyone, and I mean everyone, knows about the Elan doppelgangers, except Guel, and no one has the heart to tell him because they know how stupid he'll feel.
At some point, Miorine is able to sit down with Elnora and Delling, on separate occasions, and finally get the full story about her mom, who I've personally always assumed was involved in some sort of permet accident, greatly reducing her lifespan, which is basically Delling's whole problem with Gundams, and eventually lead to Nortette's death. Eri is there when Mio is talking to Elnora, and guilt trips her mom whenever Elnora tries to dodge a question. Suletta is there for both conversations, but more as a shoulder to cry on and less of a present force. This is Miorine's moment after all.
In the beginning, Suletta had a really hard time coming to terms with her new scars. I don't think Suletta is one to be super concerned about personal appearance on an average day, but scars? That's a huge blow to anyone's personal image and self esteem. One time it got pointed out by maybe a kid or a stranger, and it really hurt Suletta's feelings. One day, Miorine walked up to Suletta, grabbed her face, and planted a kiss on every single one of her "whiskers," and told Suletta "you're the most beautiful woman in the entire universe. When I look at you, I can't see anything less than that." While this didn't fix everything, and Suletta still had some self esteem issues for a long while, eventually Miorine, Eri, Elnora, and all of her friends were able to assure Suletta that she is still absolutely beautiful, and that the scars are actually kinda cute. Miorine likes to kiss Suletta's whiskers even now, just to remind Suletta how loved and beautiful she really is. Suletta was able to eventually accept her scars, but sometimes she still has trouble with them and feeling confident.
Neither of them can cook. Like at all. But Suletta picks up a few tricks, and Miorine decides to sign them up for cooking classes one day. It doesn't really stick the way they hoped, but they don't have to eat out for every meal like they did at first.
Now for a few spicy ones. They're married, they have definitely had some spicy times.
Suletta and Miorine just... Don't have sex for a pretty long time. And it's really not for any single reason. One time, during a girl's night at the house, Chuchu definitely asks if they've "done it yet" which causes some wild, and embarrassed looks from the, at the time, still engaged couple. They come up with a bunch of reasons as to why they haven't, all of which are true. The biggest reason is really just because Suletta can't handle it yet. She's barely able to walk with crutches for more than a few minutes without support from Mio or someone else. Mio wants it so bad though.
Eventually they finally do make love, and let me tell you, love is made. Mio is 100% a pillow princess, but one time she decides she wants to be on top, and absolutely LOVES the power and control this gives her over Suletta. I'd say 60-75% of the time Suletta is the top, and 25-40% of the time Mio is the top.
It doesn't happen very often, but every once in a while they have to stop in the middle because Suletta literally can't handle it. Not in a "you make me feel so good" way, but in a "I might literally fall over and pass away if you keep doing this" way. The first couple of times Suletta was really embarrassed, but Miorine assured her over and over again that it is absolutely ok, and that Suletta is never obligated to "finish what they started," to put it in kind of a crude way.
One time they accidentally got it on with Eri in the room. It never happened again.
#gundam witch from mercury#witch from mercury#suletta mercury#miorine rembran#suletta x miorine#sulemio#headcanon#gundam wfm#wfm
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Sooooo, getting shot in the thigh.. how serious is it? how bad is it going to be? how long will the hospital stay/complete recovery be? hope you can help out!
Tbh getting shot in the thigh isn't that bad. At least not compared to getting shot a lot of other places whumpees tend to get shot, like the shoulder or abdomen.
But it pays to understand what's going on in there.
There are two big important structures in the thigh that could cause permanent injury. These are the femur, (the thigh bone), and the femoral artery (a really big artery that can cause a LOT of blood loss).
Bullets do a lot of damage, and if they hit the femur, they can break it. A bullet to the femur can also cause shards of bone and bullet to shatter into the tissue surrounding the break. This takes some pretty extensive surgery to correct.
If the bullet (or a fragment of bullet or bone) hits the femoral artery, the main life threat is bleeding. This can be stopped with direct pressure (which may involve packing the wound with gauze, bandages, or whatever else is available and kneeling on the wound) or a tourniquet if direct pressure is not enough. A tourniquet may also be required if the rescuer has to attend to other issues and can't focus exclusively on putting pressure on the wound. If this happens, surgery is required to fix the blood vessel. If no surgery is provided, the leg will die from not being supplied with blood.
The nice thing is that the thigh has a lot of places where it can be shot and not be life threatening, though. Either of the above scenarios requires a bullet to go through the center of the thigh. Any other spot on the thigh is going to go through muscle or fat, which while painful is not going to be life threatening.
Fat will usually heal without surgery. Muscle injuries from bullets may require surgery if there is significant damage to blood vessels or something called compartment syndrome develops. Compartment syndrome occurs within a day or two of the injury, when the injured limb swells so much that internal pressure inside the limb overcomes the blood pressure, cutting off blood flow. This too can cause death of the limb from lack of blood supply, and is corrected by surgically cutting open the limb and allowing the compartment to decompress.
As far as how long the hospital stay is: if the GSW is minor and only goes through fat, the patient might be discharged right from the emergency room, with a full recovery expected in a few weeks.
If it goes into muscle, they might be in observation for 24 hours. If compartment syndrome developed during this time, they'd be taken to surgery and the limb cut open. The wound would be left open while the swelling goes down, usually with either retention sutures (large, usually plastic beads that hold sutures in place but give space for them to stretch) or just packed with gauze. Since the wound is open, the patient would stay for how ever long it took for the swelling to go down, and go back to surgery to have the whole thing surgically repaired.
If they need surgery to correct a broken femur, they may splint the leg in the emergency department and admit the patient to be hospitalized until the surgery can be done (usually the next day). After the surgery they'd stay 2-4 days to recover, control pain, get IV antibiotics, and get evaluated by physical therapy. Once they got home, they'd need physical therapy for several months or longer, with full recovery taking 6 months to a year or more.
If they need surgery to correct just a torn femoral artery, they'd have an emergency surgery so the tourniquet could be taken off as soon as possible (ideally within 12 hours). They would also stay 2-4 days, but likely not have the same extensive physical therapy requirement, and would probably be relatively close to healed in a month or so.
All of the above assumes an otherwise young, healthy person motivated to get out of the hospital. I have seen people stay in the hospital much longer for these things due to pain control, physical therapy needs, or (most commonly) a lack of support at home making it necessary that they go to a facility their insurance doesn't cover, requiring a long back-and-forth to convince whatever facility that yes, they actually don't have another option.
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bro i feel so bad for you having to work so soon after getting your wisdom teeth out :( i hope you don't have to talk to many people at your job otherwise you'll probably be fuckin McDead by the end of your shift
may your recovery be swift and completely uncomplicated and may we all witness the total death of capitalism sometime this year <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
THANK YOU honestly feel like week old road kill lmfao but luckily i dont gotta worry abt work today bc we finished the job yesterday otherwise i would've had to work today too which would've SUCKED but its mainly heavy lifting and trying to yell over i n d u s t r i a l n o i s e s is the issue but thank god its over now cause i got the next 3 days off bc of holiday😭 had a headache that felt like baboons mercilessly beating my head in my sleep for 2 days from having to push myself while having little to eat bc my appetites' been shot (i think bc of the meds tbh??) ive been trying to be on granny mode and eat a little here n there and sleep 👍 hell even just abt everyone in my life is already expecting me to go to all these stupid plans like picnics and parties and SWIMMING??? idk how many fukkin times I've had to tell them i can even eat anything 'real', i caint smoke or drink soda or do anything physically straining bc bitch im tired and weak and quite frankly not in the fukkin mood!!! but they're still just like 'oh yeah i forgot :( anyway so you wanna do this this n this??? :)'' and im justtttt
like literally all i want is to be left tf alone for like 2 weeks that's all i need!! and ppl are already on my ass after not even 2 days of getting that damn surgery unbelievable its just frustrating the level of 'i dont Actually care abt u or your health' vibes that im getting maybe im just a cranky bitch cause im hungri and looped up from pills but DAMN ppl Gotta leave me alone and let me simmer in my cave in peace it ain't that hard but ANYWAY today I'm stayin home and doin what i want (probably for the next 3 days honestly im pointing a shotgun at anyone who dares drag me outa my apt lmfao) and relaxing so todays a pretty good day lmfao BUT thank u for your concern!!!! I'm doin alright recovery wise everything seems to be healing decently aside from my dumbass gnashing my teeth in my sleep lmfao the swelling is going down and the pain is just a dull ache tbh so aside from the bitchin im doin good! 😂
#srry for all that im jsut RRRGGHGHGRGRRR#like for the first time in forever i can stay home and take time for myself and genuinely relax but suddenly everyones got all these plans#GODDD fighting tooth and nail for my own time in my own life is somethin else dont be a people pleaser yall#itll bite ya in the ass#i literally just wanna give my body the optimal chance and time for recovery i dont want no fuck ups and long term dental issues#(i already got enough) and my ass feeling guilty abt that??? hell no!!!
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I understand having feelings about the marriage bombshell but people saying that "it's finally Carlos’s time for growth" kind of rubs me the wrong way. Don't get me wrong, I'm super interested in delving more into Carlos’s background but to say that it's his time for growth as though he hasn't been showing growth since s1 makes me wonder if people have even been paying attention so far.
Remember how Carlos struggled with making himself vulnerable in the beginning? And now he let's his walls come down around TK.
He didn't tell his parents about his relationship with TK but he went to TK and told him about the marriage himself. This alone shows a lot of growth. He didn't wait for TK to find out in some awful, hurtful way like with his parents. He told him himself.
S3 had Carlos buying a whole-ass home for him and TK without even consulting TK on it. This is something I find some people tend to overlook when they talk about the breakup. 3x13 alone showed so much growth in just one episode. He went from feeling so insecure about TK spending so much time with his sponsor that he started doubting their relationship. But in the end, he realized that just bc TK isn't sharing everything about his recovery with him, it doesn't mean that TK doesn't love him and so he actually calls Cooper himself.
From the start, we have been flat out told that Carlos’s feelings of inadequacy stem from his relationship with his parents and the way he feels he's let them down. Notice how anytime we see Carlos feeling insecure about something, it's relationship related or something beyond his control. We never really have him talking badly about himself unless it's connected to his parents or if it's something he can't control. Like in 3x13, he saw he was unable to help TK with his sobriety and he started floundering bc he thought it meant he wasn't enough for TK. Of course, this is on top of the fact that he was unable to protect TK from Sadie who attacked them in their own home and was responsible for stealing TK's sobriety to begin with. But as I said, he got better with that.
He had no problem making the call in 2x08. It was after Gabriel came in that he started to really doubt himself. Even with the fire in 2x11, he felt he had let TK down even though he had no control over the fire. But he was unable to get them out and didn't have a fire extinguisher in the bedroom which prompted further guilt. Even with the marriage, it stemmed from Carlos’s need to fit in with what he believed he needed to be. But even though he feels terrible about it, he makes it a point to tell TK himself and to let him know that it doesn't mean anything. That's a lot of growth right there.
Tbh the comments about Carlos finally getting growth make me feel like it's the same people who think that the relationship focuses on TK too much or that TK doesn't bring anything to the relationship. Neither of these things are true and the idea that Carlos hasn't had growth over the past 3 seasons isn't true either. But as I've said on here before, healing isn't linear. Just like TK has (and realistically will continue to have) setbacks, Carlos’s growth has setbacks too. This is also why I want Carlos confronting his parents. Carlos may have kept the marriage secret from TK but his parents are part of the reason he even felt the need to do so. They made him feel inadequate and they still don't acknowledge that. As far as Carlos as a character and his and TK's relationship, we already know that there's nothing to worry about there and that's what matters the most to me.
All of that said, TK has every right to be upset about all this. And while we're at it, fans have a right to be upset too. I'm really not here for people comparing this to TK not telling Carlos about the drugs in 3x08. Ultimately, TK wanting to take the drugs had no bearing on their relationship especially since TK didn't even take the drugs in the end. Meanwhile, Carlos’s actions do have bearing on their relationship even if it's only bc it makes the road to getting married so much more complicated. TK's actions were a result of his grief mixed with his illness. Carlos’s actions were most definitely were a result of his insecurities mixed with his fear of letting people down but he did keep a massive secret from TK during their entire relationship and people are allowed to be mad especially since we have not yet had a resolution to it. It's so obvious to me that the crowd trying to make it seem like TK or fans have no right to be upset are the same fans that call TK self-centered and think he gets all the attention.
The most important thing to remember here, is that we have no idea how things are gonna play out. It's natural to be upset but remember we don't know everything yet and so to immediately condemn the writers and say they are doing a disservice to the characters isn't entirely fair IMHO
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update! (9/5/2024)
hiii baddies!
so, I need a break lol (there will be some emotional venting after the fic updates so please skip if you need to, tw for terminal illness and death and mental illness)
I’ve been trying to come back but I just have too much on my plate at the moment. more details to follow, but here are some of the things I’d like to have posted by the end of the month
🖤 I Wanna Be Yours (lee know x reader) wc: 5000+
🖤 Summer in Winter (faerie!felix x reader) wc: 4000+
🖤 Holding Back from You (hyunchanlix x reader, pt.3) wc: 7000+
🖤 skz requests (various) wc: 500-1000+
💚 Someone New (markhyuck/ot7 x reader, ch. 11) wc: 2000+
and more if I get the motivation! right now I find I have a lot of ideas, but no time or energy. on that note, I’m taking a break from tumblr starting today until may 24th! one of the reasons is that my best friend is coming to visit me from tomorrow until the 18th, and I want to be able to give her my full attention. social media in general is really distracting for me so I won’t really be checking my tumblr or responding to any messages 🫶🏻
in relation to that, our other best friend is in the process of packing and planning to move in with the friend that’s visiting; and she will be leaving my province shortly after bestie’s visit. I’m absolutely overjoyed for them, because we are the platonic love of each other’s lives, and they’re going to have so much fun together! on the other hand I’m very emotional, and I feel a lot of dread knowing once this visit is up both of my best friends are going to be far away from me. I’m def going to be making plans to see them once they’re settled, but I’m feeling very lonely. I’m trying to enjoy all the time we can spend together in person while it lasts. my birthday is also on the 17th, so I will be celebrating that with them and my other friends!
and finally, without giving too many details, I have a very close family member that has been battling an illness since last Christmas. I won’t go into it, but there are a lot of ups and downs and tbh mostly downs. watching them struggle has taken a huge toll on my mental health and as much as I try to pretend it’s not impacting me, I feel very hopeless. I’m really miserable actually lol at least a few times a week I cry in my boss’s office or while I’m on my breaks, and I often cry when I get home from work too. it has made me very sensitive to the topic of death, because there is a very low chance of recovery for this family member. my anxiety has worsened significantly since they got their diagnosis, and I’ve started to have serious mood swings. I think I just need a break from the internet and want to enjoy the bit of happiness I have right now.
so yeah, sorry to leave it on such a depressing note. sending everyone lots of love 💕
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Few different thoughts on 701 and 702.
The unsub in 702 is so creepy and f'd up. It was pretty good writing.
I don't really understand the fued between JJ and Reid because at the end of 701 everyone is in the meeting room and looks fine. If they had written that Reid wasn't there then it would've made more sense in 702.
Also I didn't like the writing when Reid yells at JJ, it just didn't flow well.
I don't understand the whole "what if I had started taking Dilaudid again would you have let me part?"
Specifically the "would you have let me" part.
It should have ended at "What if I started taking Dilaudid again?"
And going to JJ's house crying. That's not really Reid's character...he doesn't really ask for help, people usually ask him if he's okay and eventually he may say something...like with the drug problem or the headaches...
What do you think?
701 was one of their worst episodes honestly. the whole doyle arc was done so well, which makes it so much worse when the finale falls flat. i think bringing declan’s mom as a foil for lauren was cool (and low empathy emily interacting w no empathy doyle is fucking hilarious), but other than that, it was just so… disappointing. all that build up for nothing. even the reunion felt insincere (other than shemar who acted his fuckijg ass off w that kicked puppy look). no one really reacted. idk they just made that whole ep so… uninteresting. like it wasnt entertaining at all and made absolutely no sense for anyone. truly a waste. the doyle arc couldve been so good if they just managed to stick the landing
702 was definitely the most blatant ableism in a while.. that being said, it’s a fun episode bc they make him so vile. and tbh i kinda like the little reid jj drama.. it does admittedly feel like it comes outta nowhere, and it’s not even bc the last episode didnt build up to it—we just haven’t seen jj/reid interact in an emotionally vulnerable way? like of all people, jj feels like the last person reid would go to if he needed to cry. she’s shown him nothing but disdain or indifference when he’s ever emotional around her. but i do think it’s fun that they played w the betrayal. jj’s annoyance that reid hadn’t forgiven her yet was so in character and it was interesting to see that confrontation
i dont mind their fight honestly. yeah it’s a little choppy and all over the place w reid jumping from one point to another, but i think it works bc 1) when anger reaches a certain point it becomes difficult to think linearly and 2) reid in particular isn’t exactly known for being in touch with his feelings, so he’s dealing with it while arguing. all his emotions are bubbling up at once, all the different reasons he has to be (rightfully btw) upset. reid is already a little scatterbrained and has a hard time focusing—he has so much going on in his mind at any given time that it’s hard for him to control when he’s this frustrated. all things considered i think he got his points across pretty well
i think it’s interesting that he brings up his addiction now when it’s gone unmentioned for like three seasons. i think it shows that (yeah the writers probably just forgot/didnt care) he’s pretty private about it. it’s something that was embarrassing for him, and we know he doesnt have the healthiest standards for deserving self respect. it’s partly bc he wants to be private about it and partly bc his attempts to reach out went ignored in the early stages of his addiction. so he’s been quietly struggling in the background all this time—recovery isn’t linear either. it’s definitely realistic for him to want to turn to a familiar sense of release. i think that’s what he was trying to convey: how deeply this hurt him. he was in genuine pain, and he resents jj for letting him suffer when she knew emily was still alive. to be fair i dont think he’s processed that she didnt really have a choice, or thought at all about the repercussions of jj telling the truth. bringing up dilaudid was his way of saying “what if it got that bad? how miserable do i have to be to earn mercy, to earn the truth? do i have to risk ruining my life for you to be honest?”
idk. jj was doing what she could (what she had been ordered to do) to protect emily, so i dont blame her for keeping quiet. but reid is also entitled to his anger—it’s very fair of him to be upset at the perceived betrayal from a (supposedly) close friend. the problem is that jj is rejecting reid’s emotions for a second time, this time without reason. she expects him to be perfectly understanding and everything to go back to normal as if nothing has changed. but that’s her own fucked up little coping mechanism lol. im actually a big fan of this moment (even if they didnt provide any fucking context)
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for the ask game: tei? im curious about your thoughts on tei!!
Woah! :0 you funny, I already did Tei :) maybe I'll just go into a bit more detail and elaborate on the bullet points from last time!!! 😊
Chance for me to infodump about my thoughts on Tei :3 😊
Tei's so interesting. He pisses me off, he's the most boring one, but it's tbh mostly cuz he's the most popular within the fandom, that's why I don't as much like him. I think ppl only focus on the fact that he's a possessive yandere obsessed with purity and believes that no one should hurt his owner, but if anyone is going to, it should be him
Boring
Boring, boring boring
Get real. Get actually interesting. Oh. My. God.
Ppl rly think that's the most interesting aspect of his character?? It's certainly not the most relatable, at least not to me
Tei is a character wracked with anxiety and worry for his owner, who he places on a pedestal higher than the sun for smiling at him in place of treating him like the scum of the earth that he believes himself to be. He's not concerned about the owner abandoning him like Yeonho is, just about the owner's safety. He'll stop at nothing to keep that safety, and that's no exaggeration
In this way, he acts selflessly, say for all but his selfish desire to hurt the owner. He feels immense shame and disgust around it and blames it on his being dirty, but I think it's not so much a result of his being grotesque and disgusting, but simply lonely.
It must be incredibly isolating to shoulder so much pain and fear and worry all on his own, all while dealing with the painful memories of his previous owner. The best way I can interpret his desire to hurt Eri is by saying that deep down, he wants someone to lean on or relate to in his pain, and feel comfort thru their shared trauma.
He wants to dirty his owner, to make her like him, so that they may both finally be on the same level of purity and he can stand with her, and she can understand him. He cares for her deeply and sees her as safe but would feel guilty for burdening her with his issues if she was pure, but that wouldn't matter if she were just like him
He views this desire as selfish but I believe that this desire is manifesting from the simple desire for human connection, someone to be completely himself and honest around, which is something not nearly as selfish as he would believe ❤❤❤
Obviously, this doesn't excuse it. To change, he needs to learn to seek help, to reach out honestly about the pain he's going thru, taking one step at a time
Whether you romanticise his toxic behaviour or demonise it, I think it can still be agreed that simply removing him from the picture isn't a good solution to the danger that he is. Evidently, aside from Eri, Tei is the glue that holds the whole family together. He cooks, cleans, does the laundry and all the pecking he needs to, not just for Eri, but for the whole household
He gently urges Lance not to fight with Red; calms Yeonho's anxiety and teaches him cooking; nags Yuri but still feeds him and helps him just the same; and keeps Red happy and entertained with the justice warrior role playing
His relationships with each of the other boys are equally as complex as his with Eri, the way Red can feel comfortable enough with Tei to talk to him in a serious manner, and the way that Yuri warns Eri of Tei's dangers. Fascinating stuff behind the scenes that we don't even see!!!!!
I'm not sure how Cheritz would've been able to do this, since Nameless is told thru Eri's perspective, but based on the above, here's how I think that Tei's story could've been written a bit more realistically for him:
He cares for Eri deeply and his desire to hurt her doesn't just spring from nowhere, but comes more from the desire for human connection, someone to rely on or relate to, someone he can be his authentic honest self around. After hearing Tei's explanation, Eri agrees to help him thru his recovery, which is sweet of her, but I know that any relationship with someone you put on a pedestal can be extremely tough. It's incredibly easy to relapse and fall back when your entire day rests on whatever mood that one person is in
I've spoken about this before. In my opinion, Tei needs someone he can rely on, who is older than him, who he cannot hurt as easily, who he doesn't idolise, who he has much more stable of a relationship with
He needs Yuri. And Yuri needs him
It's the same for Yuri. Just like in his own route. He struggles with understanding emotions, especially sincerity that isn't tied to just empty flirting
The best way that Yuri can learn about authentic, sincere emotion is by trying to build a relationship with someone who he knows definitely isn't just interacting with him because of his good looks. Sure, Eri probably isn't, but being his owner (and a girl) that can kinda throw a wrench into things
Oh I haven't even mentioned that Tei's ocd is the biggest thing I can relate to him with. Hmm. It's 01:04. If I think of anything else to add, I'll make an addiction tomorrow. Idk how to conclude this essay, so I'll just say thanks again for sending the ask, n please keep em comin!!!!! I can do this for over 672 hours!!!!! ^^
#(*ˊᗜˋ*)ᵗᑋᵃᐢᵏ ᵞᵒᵘ again friend!!!! 😊😊😊��#enjoy#my post#undescribed#ask#ask game#ntotymr#nameless the one thing you must recall#nameless#nameless longform#cheritz longform
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About the Yang Xiao Long Abuse post.
Something occurred to me; Qrow may have also contributed to the abuse.
Back in Volume 3, when Yang was framed by Emerald?
Qrow accused her of either lying or being crazy.
Yang sought one of her family figures for validation, and Qrow called her crazy.
Then Qrow told her that Raven didn't care for her.
Would what Qrow did be considered abusive as well?
There's a lot in Volume 4 I dislike, which is why its my least favorite volume, and the Patch Scenes were among them.
But I feel that the way Qrow treated Yang was also a factor in Yang's mental/emotional state.
Also, regarding Yang's prosthetic. It appears Tai had planned to "call in some favors, pull a few strings" in order to get Yang her new arm, which shows that while Tai is emotionally insensitive to a degree, he is still caring about others and willing to help.
Ruby did say that Taiyang does love them both and is overprotective.
But a person can be loving and yet at the same time emotionally harmful to a degree.
Its strange, given the character we see of Qrow and Tai in RWBY Chibi, both being loving family members.
How would you, if you could make suggestions to the writing team, made ideas on how to improve things in V4?
Beyond just Yang, it feels there was too much in need of a revision here or there.
So to start with the question about Qrow, those instances wouldn’t count as abuse. For something to be abuse there has to be a pattern of this stuff happening, so the single comment about the Vytal Festival isn’t abuse, just a really messed up thing to say to her.
As for the comment about Raven, while it’s a little too blunt, it’s not something she shouldn’t hear. Especially since Qrow gave her the information to find her and knows Yang’ll be meeting her in the near future and he wants to prepare her for that.
Like as much as she was saying she was just looking for answers, you know deep down she’d been hoping for years if she found her, Raven would care enough about her to take care of her and Ruby.
That being said, in V6 when Yang and Ruby find him passed out drunk, their reaction does indicate he was doing this regularly at some point in their lives and they know how to handle it… and taking care of a passed out drunk adult isn’t the job of a kid(s) and is also a form of parentification. So likely he contributed in some regard when Yang was younger.
However, Qrow acknowledges that he has an issue and does try (successfully!) to work on himself to be a better uncle/mentor both to Yang and Ruby but also their friends as well, which is important to acknowledge.
And yes, I never meant to imply Tai doesn’t love them both. He clearly does, it’s just that love alone isn’t enough when you’ve got a couple of very young grieving children at home, and then a traumatized teenager with fairly severe PTSD. (And tbh I wouldn’t ever put much weight into the characterization in RWBY “cake butler” Chibi, lol).
As for V4, I think that the biggest issue the volume had overall was that they were trying to follow too many different storylines in too many different locations. Like they had to balance:
RNJR + Qrow’s trip across Mistral
Weiss escaping from her father
Blake and the Faunus Civil War
Yang and her PTSD/Recovery
Introducing Oscar and all the world stuff that comes with the reincarnation story
Introducing Salem and Team WTCH
I’d suggest combining at least a couple of these earlier on to give themselves more breathing room. Tbh Yang’s entire recovery arc barely happened (it was like three, 5ish minute scenes across the whole volume, which was also almost every scene she had) and Weiss’s arc was also fairly short and a bit underwhelming for how much it was built up, so I’d try to fold them into other storylines.
Honestly, I’d specifically suggest combining Yang and Oscar’s stories (they both are dealing with huge, unexpected changes in their lives they don’t know how to navigate) and Blake and Weiss’s (Weiss could go through a very similar emotional journey as she did in canon but from the opposite side by witnessing how Ghira and Kali treat her and Blake compared to her father), with Yang and Oscar catching up to RNJR at some point in the later part of the volume.
If they specifically wanted to write Tai as a good parent now (while also not retconning anything from V1-V3), one of the first things he’d need to do is admit that he was in the wrong in the past (like Qrow did in V7) and was not there for her. And then make it clear he is now and then ask after and follow her lead in terms of what she needs to heal instead of assuming he knows best.
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pinned post <3
freshly relapsed and decided to come back here .
DNI IF IN RECOVERY OR UNDER 16 . DNI FATPHOBES .
I AM PURELY HERE TO VENT INTO THE VOID AND TRACK MY BULLSHIT FOR MYSELF . IF YOU'RE READING THIS YOU ARE WORTHY AND DESERVING OF RECOVERY I PROMISE .
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my name is brutus and i'm 17 . i've had an ed since i was 8 or 9 or so and been hospitalised repeatedly for years due to my mental health (cringe ik) . im open to interaction but im a little too autistic to communicate smoothly so im sorry in advance LMAO
tw stats below the break :3
as i was making this acc (nov.24th) it said i have 225 days til my next birthday (when i turn 18) and since i want to be moved out/moving out by then, that's how long i have to reach my ugw or at least get closer to it than now .
hw ; 210lbs maybe? back in dec.2022 i think (bmi 33)
lw ; 110lbs (bmi 17)
cw ; 197lbs LMAO. embarrassing tbh (bmi 31)
gonna set each gw per month so
gw1 (by dec.31st) ; 180lbs (bmi 29)
gw2 (by jan.31st) ; 170lbs (bmi 27)
gw3 (by feb.31st) ; 160lbs (bmi 25)
gw4 (by mar.31st) ; 150lbs (bmi 24)
gw5 (by apr.31st) ; 140lbs (bmi 22)
gw6 (by may.31st) ; 130lbs (bmi 21)
gw7 (by jun.31st) ; 120lbs (bmi 19)
gw8 (by jul.31st) ; 110lbs (bmi 17)
not sure what i'll do after that since my birthday will have passed but my ugw is probably 50lbs for now .. bmi 8 has my whole heart
i figure after i move out it won't be hard to keep going anyway since i'll be in that struggle era everyone says happens when you first move out and shit so .. hoping that helps lol
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i don't plan to tell anyone about my relapse (esp not my lover bc im actively encouraging that mf to recover from its own ed and me spiralling is not gonna help lmao) and that's so selfish of me but im in such a bad headspace that i dont really care anymore lol
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CURRENT PLAN (as of nov.24th) AND IF YOU SOMEHOW ARE STILL READING THEN YES I AM OPEN TO SUGGESTIONS .
since i haven't been on my ed grind in months (was hospitalised recently lmao) i wanna start kinda slow and ease my way into the self-destruction so here's my plan (in order with how i plan to get to each listed gw above)
month one . omad with alternating workout schedules where i'm working out at least once a day (like doing just arms and legs one day then core and full body workouts the next then arms and legs again yk) . stop asking friends for rides and start walking more .
month two . get back into trying to keep my cals as close to 0 as possible while still prioritising the nutrients i need and making sure i'm as hydrated as possible at all times . do full body workouts at least once daily
month three . get back to the 2hr workouts 3x a day and monitor intake
continue and adjust as needed until month eight . then just play fuck around and find out and see if i die or not /srs
#ed not sheeren#ed relapse#ed vent#ed behaviour tw#tw restrictive ed#tw ed diet#ed not sherran#ed not ed sheeran#ed disorder#tw vent
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Devon bostick's ground breaking ptsd performance in the 100 is so underrated. Tbh he Christopher Larkin were the most accurate ptsd representation I've seen and out did a lot of the core cast on that to me personally.
Anon, I'm so glad that your brought this up because it gives me the chance to ramble about how meaningful a good actor really is lol (sorry this is pretty much a full essay) (also I'm hammered right now so if there are any grammatical mistakes allow it)
When playing a character with a disorder it's, in my opinion, an absolutely crucial part of the job to not fuck it up. There's a fine line between being artistically daring and profound in the way that an actor chooses to portray having a disorder, and being over the top and insulting. I really think what it comes down to, and what Devon has mastered, is knowing the difference between being the disorder, vs being a PERSON with the disorder.
In my opinion, an example of an actor failing to to accurately represent a character with a disorder would be James McAvoy's role as Kevin in the franchise "Split". To preface this, I want to make it known that I understand this particular incident wasn't entirely James's fault, the writers most definitely exaggerated the effects of Dissociative identity disorder for the sake of the plot, but that doesn't change th he fact that Kevin's character was a wholly inaccurate and down right offensive interpretation of the disorder. I think the most awful part of this whole situation was the effect on the audience. Those who do not suffer from DID were uninformed, and therefore made to feel afraid and resentful toward those affected. The viewers who do suffer from DID were made to feel at best offended and (for lack of better words) royally fucked off, and at worst, ashamed, isolated and afraid of themselves.
These devastating outcomes truly highlight the importance of doing justice to a character with a complex mental state. I would argue that a remarkably moving and accurate depiction of a character suffering from a disorder is Uzo Aduba's portrayal of Suzanne "crazy eyes" Warren in Orange is the new black. While canonically her diagnosis is not revealed, fans of the show have theorised that she has a multitude of conditions, ranging from schizoaffective disorder, to bipolar disorder, to borderline personality disorder. While it is not my place to diagnose Suzanne, I think we can all safely deduce that she does suffer from some sort of disorder. While I think Aduba's execution of the role is most certainly dramatised, I don't find this to be a bad thing. Suzanne's over the top personality and mannerisms are, at their core, loveable and relatable. Aduba's performance was tasteful and achieved what I believe every actor should aim for when portraying a character who suffers from some sort of disorder, Suzanne's suffering forces those who can relate to her condition, and those who cannot, to feel for her, to understand why she is the way that she is, to look into themselves and see their own pain in a new light. Furthermore, Suzanne's childlike character is universally relatable. As a result of my extensive time spent in therapy, I am of the belief that every hurt person, whether they know or consciously or not, wish to reconnect with and heal their inner child, and this belief is only emphasised in the way that I've seen people react to Suzanne's character. People wish to care for her, those in their life that she reminds them of, and in turn themselves.
Playing a role that provokes such intense empathy is such an impactful thing for so many people. It inspires hope and recovery for those who may not have even thought they needed to recover. I will never not stress the importance of actors and the way that they tackle sensitive subjects, because it truly can change people's lives.
#split#dissociative identity disorder#bpd#schizoaffective#oitnb#orange is the new black#crazy eyes#suzanne warren#character analysis#essay#review#tv show review#movie review#mental health#disorder
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HEHEHEHHEE YES OKAY OKAY SO
danny canonically (well, canon enough, it was a remark from the developers) has npd right. and I have hpd and bpd and they share a lot of symptoms, being cluster b personality disorders and all. so I can proudly say
that man has awful identity issues. he spent so long pretending to be other people for praise, attention and safety that he has no idea who "Danny Johnson" is at all. sometimes he isn't even sure he's actually human. he likely dissociates a lot. he only really thought about it a while after he got taken by the entity, seeing there isnt anything to do outside of trials hes likely been in his own mind most of the time.
he may act buddy-buddy with them as a sort of second nature but he's really insecure with himself and so manifests it as hatred for other killers. (it may also be the 'canon' reason ghostface players tend to be very chill with survivors, despite him being a misanthrope. he feels safer with them because he has the cloak of superiority and being a threat with them which he doesnt have with the killers ykyk) after all he's just an average guy with a knife and knowledge on stalking, hes not overly strong without the entity's help, or tall, or supernatural in any way. to him his "backstory" isnt even bad as any of the other killers, to him at least. (it definitely was, man was literally groomed to be a murderer by his dad. but your trauma never looks as bad as the other people's you know)
also hes FTM and was 3 years on T up until he got taken by the entity (his body time kinda paused after that so he didnt revert to being feminine dw). he still has a set of tits and a coochie because in his words "surgery recovery is a waste of time, it will get suspicious if ghostface goes silent for 6 whole months" :3 he's happy with his body though... mostly. anyway thats the reason he's always hunching during trials. cant wear a binder during a chase thatd be inconvenient (please imagine a ghostface coughing and wheezing and begging the survivors to wait for him now. thank you)
he's still silly, a little clumsy but its one of the things he's less insecure about tbh. an all serious ghostface is not fun and not what wes craven would want.
anyway I need him to get a therapist so bad. bbygirl dw you wont lose your spark the spark in question is you dissociating for hours at a time on your apartment bed having a barbie movie moment like "what was I made for..." therapy will help you babygirl I promi-
THESE ARE ALL SUCH FUCKING GOOD HEADCANONS OKOKOK SO
to share my own while i am at it Teehee (i love him so much)
I def agree on the dissociation and fucked up sense of identity, mans is a messed up lil fuck and def needs to go see an entity ordered therapist. I personally def put Danny on the aro spectrum (i dont think ace personally, aroallo moment imo) though i think more on the demi or greyaro side, and if any of the survivors are ever like, flirty he just stares at them and slowly shakes his head because oh no babygirl one thats a bad idea to try and do and two you are not the person my brain has made an exception for thats for fucking sure
(I'm demiromantic myself so I describe it like that bc im basically aromantic until my brain makes an Exception(tm))
Alsoalsoalso very down for him not being friends with the other killers bc hatred and lowkey jealousy but I think he looks at the legion kids and is like "Cool, I'm your uncle now." because they're the only ones like him at all, just normal dudes even smaller than he is because theyre basically just fucked up teenagers so he feels a slight kinship and he definitely doesn't play favorites at all (this is a lie Suzy is his perfect little baby and he goes full cool uncle mode with her 100% all the time)
Also Also because self shipping noises when/if a survivor or killer (im using survivor mostly bc that's where I see myself self insert wise) does catch his interest in a romantic he genuinely just fucking panics and doesn't know what the fuck to do about it. He fumbles with them a lot and suddenly most of his smooth and cool dude exterior? Gone. Vanished. Fumbling even more than usual and it makes him SO MAD so he just.......threatens them a lot and hooks them a lot because fuck you stop making me feel things i hate you but also please just like hold my hand or something what the fuck
When finally the survivor is like DUDE WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR DAMAGE and blows up on his ass he's like IDK MAN YOU GIVE ME BIG FEELINGS AND I DON'T LIKE IT COULD YOU STOP MAYBE????
anyways when that shits sorted I imagine it being a mutual (healthy) obsession thing where Danny treats his partner like they're the entity incarnate and partner does similar for him and everyone is disgusted by it but at least everytime partner is around in trials he's nice to them so like they can't complain.
If it was a killer though they would become absolute terrors and no one would be safe ever. Skip through the moldy corn fields holding hands kinda shit. Absolute fucking idiots.
(Also at one point he tries to give partner a bouquet of flowers except it was like 4 dandelions and a leaf and he ate one of the dandelions)
Anyways I love Danny Johnson I am kissing him on the mouth
#gif warning#🗡️ :: personal#🗡️ :: asks#sorz for the infodump and answering 6 hours late i was talking to my qpp and being butch4twink
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