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wandasfifthwife · 28 days

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(7) please, let me stay* | I got a bad idea series

—> masterlist

southern!wandanat x fem!city-girl reader

tw: angst w/ happy ending, hurt/comfort, suggestive content at the very end (sex implied), miscommunication trope?, mentions of homewrecking, r is insecure and overthinks, bit of arguing, conflict is resolved fast though (bc if w&n have to be sharp or else r will go on forever lmao), very small injury (r)

a/n: not proofread so it’ll be fucking shit, but I hope you still enjoy.

The flight back to New York was set to leave after tomorrow. At 8AM you’ll be on the plane heading back with no form of communication with the two. Since ending up in their bed and pressed about their house by their needy bodies, they’ve not seemed to care to ask about your relationship status. It’s not them, you haven��t thought to ask either, but you felt you had reason. It was their relationship first and you barged in.

You felt it was wrong, that you were wrong and unimportant. Their relationship was built on time and trust, and the last few days have told you that yours was built on lust and summer crushes. The guilt tore you from the bottom up, but you left their house one day and didn’t return.

You had one day left and then all of this will have been like it didn’t happen. You can let your feelings fade as the months go by again, maybe even years. These thoughts were the ones you mulled over and felt yourself leaving your family to hide in the bathroom to recover.

It was a fling. Your relationship built over half a month. To say it was love, felt one sided and cheesy. It was teenager puppy love. Another person you let in and fell for too fast.

It was difficult to hide from them as they kept busy. You did too, your grandparents saw you came back and set a list of daily chores. Cleaning the stalls, feeding the livestock, and checking in on their smaller personal garden to pull any weeds. You successfully avoided them this morning, not that it should be considered one going off of how tired you felt.

It was later into the night. The sun having set hours ago and the stars beginning to scatter across the skies. Your grandma sat out in the back. You noticed the top of her head through the window, hair frizzy from the humidity.

She smiled when you came to sit by her. The little candle being the only light, a specific kind that apparently repelled mosquitos.

“Do you like it,” she asks once you’ve settled down into the rocking chair.

“I do, it spells rather nice.”

“No. Running away again.”

You held back the attitude, knowing she wouldn’t let that down for the rest of the night.

You bring your glass up to your lips, “I’m not.”

“Why do you enjoy trashing everything you have? You ran away from here and now you’re running from them,” she sighs, “have they done anything?”

“No.”

“Then why, sweets?”

“Because I’m not welcomed. They have photos lining the walls of their home with the two of them at their wedding. Why ever would I get so selfish to engage with them?”

Your grandma’s face looks sad, eyes downcast as she looks at your side profile.

You saw them pull into the driveway just then, Natasha turning the car off and stepping out, and Wanda walking towards your home. She looked fine, neutral expression as she climbs up the slight slope your grandparents house sat on.

You stepped back inside, setting the glass anywhere on the rush your room. You pitched yourself by the open window.

“Hi Wanda, what brings you over?”

“Is she home tonight.”

You prayed your grandma would be on your side, to make up an excuse to free you.

“She’s just gone to bed.”

Wanda hums, hands in her back pockets as she looks up towards your window, “wanted to invite her over for dinner tomorrow since she’s leaving town soon.”

“Lovely, I’ll tell her in the morning.”

She bids her a goodnight, walking back the way she came. You shivered from where you stood by the window ceil, rubbing your arms to try and stop the goosebumps from forming.

You got your answer. She expressed her care, putting the weight onto you now to respond.

That morning your grandmother retold the information to you, news you already knew. She stared at you long after. You felt it on your back as you walk past her on the couch.

“While you’re out could you make sure the stable doors are shut properly? Those dark clouds are bringing a storm with them, with a storm comes wind.”

You slide your shoes on, sending her a smile to confirm your answer. When you woke up that morning you noticed the room was darker than usual, the sun hiding behind your curtains.

A light shower was settling in around lunch. The rain lightly settling on your clothes, darkening where they landed on your shirt.

You carry the last bucket into the shed, shutting and locking the doors. A sharp pain enters your finger, pressing against the pad of your index. You groan but it sounds more like a cry, peeling your hand away to find a splinter lodged in the skin.

You held your finger in a specific angle so you can see it and grasp it with your other hand to peel it out. The only item with wood you touched was earlier that morning when you heaved a plank into the shed. It wasn’t an asked chore, you just wanted to since it’s been sitting out since the day you arrived, termites beginning to eat away at it.

The splinter stayed in your finger, not notifying you of its presence until you had to use that specific area of your finger. You walked the bucket to the stable, fixing to end the day soon since the sky was beginning to grow darker.

You step into the shed, setting the bucket to the left of you somewhere. The rain carried out above you, the sound providing a relaxing atmosphere within the building. You brush your hand along the horses faces if they were there, avoiding the one towards the end who’s known for snapping.

It was your last day with them. Since you left so early in the morning, you practically only had a few hours left. You’ve been mulling over the situation during your tasks. Your mind wondering as you completed the mundane tasks.

At the moment their house was down the hill. A possible three minute walk. You decided against it, wondering around the building to shut all of the storm doors.

The storm started to pick up. Trees swaying with the motion of the wind, rain turning the dirt into mud. You shut the door, mumbling under your breath about the storm as you walk back for the night. You were cold. The rain covering your body in seconds, making your clothes feel heavy as you walk down the hill, sliding once due to the mud.

You reach your hand to knock, excited to be back in a warm environment. She opens the door, hair wet from a recent shower. Her shampoo smell flaring in front of you, a difference from the past days where it’s been fading.

“I never walk in a storm, let alone wonder in mud,” you start, leaning further under the canopy to hide from the thunder strike.

“You’re very brave, would—“

“No, you don’t understand I’ve never done that.”

“Would you like to tell this heroic story inside,” she asks and leans back to allow space for you.

Wanda shows from the kitchen after hearing the voices in the living room. She looks to your drenched body and asks Natasha to grab towels.

“She could shower and wear ours in the meantime?”

“There’s lightening outside, she can’t shower.”

Natasha looks at her wife like she’s crazy, “you still believe that? She’ll be fine.”

“Better safe than sorry,” she says, wiping her greasy hands on a towel, “how about you dry off with a towel and put on some warmer clothes. I’ll put your wet clothes in our dryer for a minute.”

You thank them, not saying much as you follow Natasha around until you’re left alone in their bathroom. The weight is lifted off you once you’ve taken everything that got drenched in the storm. Their clothes are warm and fresh. It doesn’t distinctly have their smell, you realize it smells more like their laundry detergent, fresh.

The warmer clothes don’t stick to your body, allowing you to relax. You call out to Wanda, handing her the clothes so she can throw them into the dryer.

“I’ll have dinner ready in fifteen, Natasha’s in the office if you’d like to see her.”

You took it as a sign to leave, going from one stuffy environment to the next. You found Natasha sitting at the desk, focus set on the screen in front of her. It felt like the more you stepped inside the more space was set between you. You greet her, voice meek and hoping she didn’t hear you.

“When’s your flight tomorrow.”

“Early morning.”

“How long will you stay in New York?”

“Maybe a year. Maybe a few years.”

She sets her glasses down then, powering down her computer. She moves around with ease, moving to walk down the stairs.

“I don’t know what’ll happen, I haven’t decided—“

“Running away from making decisions doesn’t help you make one.”

“I’m not running away.”

She turns on her heel, “don’t lie to me. I hate liars.”

“I’m here now, aren’t I? I’m not running away.”

“Within the whole five minutes you’ve been here you’ve been looking like you’re about to run at any second.”

“And what about that,” your emotions get to you, pitching your voice, “this is the first time I’ve ever stopped trying to ‘run away,’ and you’re focused on how shy I look?”

You hate yourself for how easily you succumb and react to emotions. Tears were present in your eyes, making your vision blurry but not yet making its way on your face. Natasha doesn’t say anything, frozen where she had turned around.

“I know I’m bad at communicating, don’t you think I know that? It’s frustrating how obvious my problem is.“

Natasha calls your name, but you shove her off, “and so what if I was considering leaving and not saying anything? I almost did, and I kind of wish I did. This whole thing was a mistake.”

You look away, wrapping your arms around your body subconsciously to comfort yourself. Tears spilt when she comes closer to pull you into her. You waste no time to wrap your arms around her, crying harder into her shoulder. You mumbled repetitive apologies, every one shushed by Natasha as she tries to calm you down.

You hear Wanda’s footsteps, soft pats getting louder until she’s behind you. Her hand lands on your back, rubbing circles.

“This is why talking is important, thoughts lie and you begin to spiral.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No,” she draws it out, “not sorry. We want you to feel comfortable talking with us. Hard topics have to be talked about or distance gets placed between people and anger begins to build.”

“I’m sorry for snapping at you, I said a lot that was out of line.”

You push her off, sitting down on the couch, “it’s okay.”

“I’m going to ask a yes or no question,” Natasha says, her tone almost a whisper, “do you want to stay.”

“Yes.”

Wanda reaches a hand under your chin to tilt your face up so she can press her lips to yours, “missed you.”

She heads back towards the kitchen, asking Natasha to come help her grab the food from the oven; Something about not having any item to take it out with and Natasha was the next best option.

You only barely arise from the couch, thinking Natasha was leaning to kiss you but her lips miss yours.

“I missed you,” her lips are pressing into your neck, just under your ear.

“Missed you in my bed, I wished your fingers were mine at night.”

She laughs, leaving to no doubt tell Wanda what you told her. Wanda sees you enter, leaning back from the oven to kiss whatever was closest to her, “I’m happy you stayed. Don’t forget to cancel your flight.”

Natasha sets the tray onto the stove, rubbing her fingers onto her pants right after. You mumble about not getting a kiss from her and she’s quick to lean closer to quiet your complaining. She’s wiping away the wetness in your cheeks, fingers still warm from the oven.

“Better?”

“Much better,” you smile against her lips.”

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giddlygoat · 1 year

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tbh i did not know who cyrus borg is nor have i ever interacted with the ninjago fandom but i am obsessed about him. blorbo via osmosis.

anyways if you have any headcanons about him i would like to hear them :3c

cyrus borg my beloved blorbo babygirl <3

thank you for asking about this man. he is like a chew toy for my brain. hold onto your butt bc it’s 2 am as of writing this and that’s when all the big brained stuff happens

in his mid/late thirties and slaying <3 he started his tech business at about 17 and now he’s got a crazy monopoly on like half the city but it’s okay bc he’s a kind philanthropist and actually treats his employees like human beings so no one cares that he’s effectively one of the most powerful men in the city lmao

i see cyrus as autistic and adhd tbh. the way he gets so hyper focused on his work that he literally does not perceive anything else around him is a bit too relatable, and he strikes me as a very brilliant man who simply does not retain information unimportant to his interests. he could tell you the precise components of the most advanced computers and explain their relationships with one another, but hell if he knows who the president is. you’re lucky if he even remembers what day it is. this man constantly uses reminders and alarms for sure.

he’s on the aroace spectrum i think. i’m not exactly sure how but he just gives me those vibes.

also transmasc swag tbh?? i think i’ve seen that hc around and it goes hard

hear me out. cyrus listens to rap. this is based on absolutely nothing at all i just know it with my very being. he likes stuff with fast, predictable and heavy beats. would totally blast shit like masquerade by siouxxie sixxsta at full volume in his office. it helps him get in the zone. idk what to tell you man [<- 100% projection]

cyrus is like. absolutely fascinated by zane. he admires dr julien’s work so much and wants to study zane under a microscope. as he gets to know zane better personally though, i think he would realize that he has been looking at things through the lense of an engineer for so long that he forgot zane was just like his human family. it’s not that he ever viewed zane as simply a machine, quite the opposite - he fully acknowledged that dr julien had created a full person, and an incredible one at that - but cyrus still has to remind himself that people don’t like being poked and prodded. [the moment he makes the mental connection between zane getting put on an examination table and himself getting operated on by the overlord against his will, he realizes the error in his line of thinking]

oh yeah. the trauma! yeah cyrus might be just a little bit majorly fucked up over the overlord thing. the overlord did amputate his right arm after all, which leaves him with only one fully functioning limb. he still has nightmares about it. getting used to a prosthetic arm wouldn’t have been such a hurdle if the overlord had put any sort of thought or care into the operation, but it left him severely scarred up and just fucked in general. however! as the years pass he becomes pretty much fully accustomed to his situation and doesn’t let it inhibit his creative passions.

also when zane died in s3 cyrus was super broken up about it and blamed himself for it in part. then, not days later his daughter disappeared for reasons he would not understand until like a year later, which totally messed him up. he inevitably threw himself into his work in an effort to not feel anything. he didn’t take very good care of himself during this time. when zane returned from chen’s island, he let pixal explain everything to cyrus, who was just glad they were alive, but the whole situation took a really long time to get over.

when he’s hyper focused he forgets to eat/sleep etc and can run on fumes for hours before his body suddenly becomes a wet paper towel in a parking lot at 3 am and he has to konk out at his desk. thankfully he has people looking out for him, and he’s slowly getting better about it, but once he gets started sometimes the only way to stop is by brute force.

i absolutely love @alanshee’s amazing cyrus headcanons, so you should totally go check out her takes. she has some really cool headcanons about his 16 robot children [in reference to a line where cyrus mentioned pixal was the 16th iteration, i believe] and they always make me smile so big. a lot of my headcanons are inspired by her stuff!

[sorry for the late ass reply it’s been a crazy week and then i forgot rip but thank you sm for the ask!!!]

#asks #cyrus borg #ninjago #headcanons and theories

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castle-dominion · 1 year

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c3x6 3xk the triple killer

Seeing the face

uwu secret admirer

alexis the little detective “narrowing down suspects”

Really really dark bruises on the ligature marks. It’s not just a general bruise of strangling, it’s like it was stationary. Linda Russo Beckett actually asked castle what his theory was?

911 has that effect on her RC: I believe that was my idea LP: Yeah but I only listen when it comes from her (could clip)

Wow they’re serious about this, so serious they’re showing a huge briefing onscreen.

RM: He has a menial unimportant job KB: Still you, castle RC: Just for that I’m basing my next book off esposito KB: *looks at him in insult* (could clip)

Three murders one week. Posing them like this. Tyson & his MOs. Wearing disguises. Dysfunctional relationship with his mother. (later on in this ep & his arc: getting other people to do the thing & getting people to look like people)

Ooh horticulture! (Kb: ?? Ryan: Waters plants) (my man’s rly pretty) KR: Ex-wife. They were divorced last month after being married for four years. RC: So in a way, he did just get out of prison. [He’s sort of joking, but he’s serious regarding the timeline]

Bro some people have medical conditions, don’t make it like a jab on moral character! (Who is this security guard??)

Wow lots of facial hair there mr esposito (Who is the security guard????)

Kin Foster How did she get a liver temp already? Gas repair JE *can’t find the phone bc ppl kept moving it between takes*

RC: The pillows JE & me: What’s wrong with them? Found a penny XD

That was quiet. “Sir, a mr townsend wants to see you?” Ew reporters They’d better hold to that. Let Him Know. My older bro thought that this guy might be the killer

KB: From four years ago. I took a look at calls made to the Triple Killer tip line and this one stood out for me. It’s from May 21st, 2006, which was a week after the sixth murder. A woman called and left a message, but she was too afraid to leave her name. But she did mention that she lived at 24th and 10th. (He wasn’t carrying the right tools? 3xk has improved since then. I mean yeah eight years will do that)

u got the phone records from 4 years ago? really??? (except linda russo did not see HIS face)

(why no pic of the tat on the murderboard? also does he fit the profile, bad mom menial job? Oh his mom died when he was 4. Gates was convicted of the bottle break tho)

Sociopath??? really? You think antisocial personality disorder makes this guy a consistent killer?

Who was the individual walking by castle’s house tho? (nobody important, nvm)

Oh you know, someone died, someone else did it. (don’t want to clip) some … pervert watching you from afar with high powered binoculars.

I always love the parallels. Rick just wants to protect his daughter & when we have a case like this he’s sure to freak a bit.

“I’d better check they’re actually locked.” Love castle sm. (apparently that was an ad-lib. could clip ig)

Another point for the Ryan ADHD headcanon. I have a system, you’re messing up my system, it might not work for you but it does for me. I’d record this bickering to post but I don’t feel like it. Btw, I think this was also adlibbed (ok so I guess I already wanted to clip this) (I’ll clip both together actually)

Robert Duncan? Is that their name? Interesting choice here. OH WAIT IT WAS HOLD MUSIC (btw, the detective to beckett’s right is the half asian looking guy, I can’t see what his nameplate reads tho)

Jelly Tyson (the cameras watching castle correct her writing lol)

Love handwriting differences. Castle <3

(“my girl” he says) Wow acab

Is pruno booze? I like how he doesn’t actually remember the exact name, he just knows it’s hog something. (Or so he claims.) That is realistic I think.

Nice jacket, but that shirt. Idk whether it’s good or bad. Probs good for undercover recon. Nice music Aww helping him into his vest (clip that) (suddenly has their guns in their hands even tho they were literally doing up the velcro a heartbeat ago) Well that’s a lot of people. (Monty’s gun-- that’s the one he has in future episodes. It’s an old-style gun, not one of the ones with the fancy magazines) XD Castle (Clipping this too) Cocky man. He’s also for sure the guy in the teaser Captions were wrong there. esposito said that, not monty

I like the literary flair but I don’t think this is the time.

Not my type HE’S SOO GROSS OUH i LOVE IT

Esposito <3. Marcus touching the stuff He’s good at this. From the perspective of a citizen I respect him. I respect him a lot. From a just perspective I totally want him done & gone. Good for him tbh. Rick wearing jeans & that colour shirt, so nice btw. How is esposito taller than monty here?

Seven not eight? He killed two women at this time & he also killed a fellow six four years ago.

(Nothing in his apartment ok, but why? We know he (you know who is you know whom) but we also know he DID (do you know what on behalf of you know whom)) he already IS the focus bro

he really is so calm

& they just happen to have a traffic cam there? Tbh the changing clothes is easy to do. Yeah acab, they think they have the one who did it so they ignore evidence to convict them.

MG: you all better keep your loved ones close Me, having seen the end of the episode: OH MG: Sure hope you catch him Me, having seen him again in s7: I SEE You can say “S.O.B.” & not actually swear

pimply teenagers XD (not clipping) OH SUS NO NOPE NO WAY. Oh I love Martha. What a great gal. Tell her you’re afraid someone thought your strawberry-blonde daughter is being killed tonight? Lmao martha I love her sm (not clipping tho) MR: Richard, darling, she’s right. You are being utterly irrational. It’s like when I was doing Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? and I thought my understudy was trying to poison me. RC: Oh yeah, the daily blood tests I paid for. Wait, she did poison you. The Swiss chocolate she gave you was a laxative. MR: Ahh… it added a certain urgency to my performance. But, the point is, you indulged my paranoia. So therefore, I am going to be in the park, five o’clock, at a discreet distance to make sure that Alexis’ secret admirer is not an axe murderer. Oh & I love her for taking care of alexis

Who is Donna Gallagher though? She is NOT tyson’s gal. Gates was the one arrested for breaking the bottle, it is in his record. tyson was beat up in the prison yard this morning, alexis has a note telling her to visit someone at 5pm today, martha is trailing her, it looked like daytime outside the apartment, then beckett calls, then they cut to talking to tyson, then it is DARK & they are at a random motel

Lmao “My name is detective ryan, I’m your new best friend” (not clipping)

Oh no he already has donna doesn’t he?

(Why would 3xk make it so he has an alibi? Wait spoilers within this paragraph I figured it out: so tyson needed to get out of jail & the only way they could get him out is to prevent gates from getting arrested until tyson was out, then once tyson was out he used his magical money to pay for paul’s surgery, & only then can he confess to the 3xk murders. I was thinking “why give him an alibi & tell ppl that 3xk used partners? esp if u want him convicted” but even as writing that I realized it’s good bc then his brother gets involved & he has a REASON to confess & it is not sus, it would be sus for him to just spontaneously decide to confess) (end spoilers, except that this entire liveblog is spoilers)

(Never used the same partner twice, except for Her)

Big bro called it! Body double! (I genuinely thought that he was just one step lower on the stairs to the building) They both have the same tattoo? (but we thought 3xk told the perv paul mccardle to back off...?)

Oh when did Ryan get here? (Oh lol they were in a foster home together, I forgot. I thought they were bio brothers but then they had different last names. they looked similar enough that I thought they were related) I swear Jerry is the real 3xk (going back to read my liveblog like...)

Good gracious, esposito breaking in alone! (could clip... won’t) I was right, he already has Donna. You can probs get him on attempted murder rather than assault & tax evasion here. MG: I’ll try not to disappoint you.

He looks like a mouse

Castle just stammering asking if he can follow Ryan XD KB: Just don’t get in his way (there was a deleted line: “I’m driving” bc esposito always makes ryan take shotgun. then in 4x14 blue btf ryan lets castle drive lol)

WOW US HEALTHCARE SYSTEM (apparently the breath tube was added in post) Man also doesn’t have the hair nor tattoo to make him look similar enough. Gates sent him Get Well flowers! That’s genuinely something so big to me.

Girl you might want to leave them to talk to Paul anyways

But the thing is do you have enough evidence to convict him of accessory to murder? Only if paul gets immunity? Paul’s going to be the real killer then (also YES get that in writing, cops can lie to you)

Oh they remembered the dad!

Definitely lying. Plus he only said Linda Russo, Sara Townsend, & five other women. It was six the first time. He killed two after prison. He’s missing a Kim Foster.

(at abt 35:30) RC, reading my mind: I don’t understand the operation. KR: No big deal, my dad had one. RC: It is a big deal if u r broke! (how did his family afford that? Raising ryan & two or three sisters, paying for piano lessons apparently, plus a $100k heart surgery at some point? Ouch. Maybe he had dual citizenship tho & got healthcare in ireland, like he’s REALLY irish not just “my family from the 1800s” irish) Ryan’s walk <3 That flat “I guess”

“You accumulate a lot of stuff even in the slammer,” esp if gates left all his stuff to you, WAIT GATES LEFT ALL “HIS” STUFF TO TYSON

KR: You were right, he did try to go after Donna KR: But she’s ok. JG: & gates? KR: He confessed, it’s all over. RC: Aren’t you going to ask? Me: Bro you literally said donna was fine & that the man going after her is held! (3xk really improved his methods as the series progressed tbh, he improved his performance of them)

Why would Castle ask “aren’t you going to ask what happened?” in that loud rude tone “to your girlfriend >:( Donna” & only THEN say “unless... *realization strikes* as if he didn’t have it clicking into place yet He’s removing the evidence he was ever where? Where bro? What evidence?

RC: He’s the real 3xk! But then why did he send two other people to kill for him, huh? This guy couldn’t have killed them himself, we saw that. We know that. He was in prison during the first murder, in fact both. & then again Gates was the one who attempted on donna’s life. (Me: getting my clips after having seen all the 3xk episodes into s7)

Oof Poor Ryan. (also clipping the spin scene & ryan whack scene)

(abt 36:45 for the precinct flash-to; yeah no this is just too long to clip, I’ll get smaller bits)

RM: Maybe [Ryan] & Castle went out for a cold one. That’s what I’m doing on a day like today. Care to join me? KB: Yeah! Yeah I’d love to. RM: Let’s hit it. Ok listen I know it is not super big but this little scene adds so much to the story. Social. People. The language each individual uses. Fellowship. (could clip, idk) They honestly appreciate each other. He is her second father, he is her friend.

Awwww it looks like wire. If it was duck tape I’d be smiling because Rick has escaped from duck tape before. Darn it.

Jerry is kind of cool & smart in an evil way. Takes ryan’s gun & phone, checks the last calls, even steals his badge. If it wasn’t so tragic I’m sure Ryan would get teased for that. (Me, having seen 4x4 kick the ballistics & the s6+7 3xk eps)

Storyteller rick! Making it out! (me: has watched all the way up to s7) Ooh rick’s childhood trauma coming back again! Just like the vampire episode! That’s his mom’s PFP on his phone? That’s so Martha. Wait no it says “home” & “mobile” so is it Mom on her Mobile or is it Home on the Landline? (I don’t feel the need to clip this...) (too bad, I did, it was actually REALLY really good)

So sweet that the mom calls him & so sweet that the secret admirer was ashley. Cutest thing ever. MR: Richard? RC: I love you. B’y this is why I have a codephrase with ma family so that whenever I’m in a hostage situation I can say smth completely normal that my captor won’t see as a red flag but my family will KNOW it means something. & bud if you hang up the phone for me without letting me say goodbye everyone will know I’m in danger. I always try to say bye.

Bro we can only hear the sirens once we see them? If we’re in a stationary place & they are travelling at that speed we would be able to hear them. Also, why did they come here? I thought they were getting drinks?

RC: It’s clear, he’s gone. I’m fine, Ryan needs an ambulance. KR, muffled from his face being in the carpet: No I don’t. Girl if you got hit hard enough to knock out, you need to go to urgent care or a medi-centre or even the ER. You have a concussion. Not ever concussion sends you unconscious but every ko means you’ve been concussed. JE: *kneels down beside Ryan immediately* (btw they cut a line: jerry tyson? more like mike tyson) (I think I’ll clip this)

Oh she came here bc she was sus that they didn’t come back from talking to Jerry. & as she says, “Your mom called. She said you told her you loved her & figured something must be terribly wrong.” RC: I figured she might. Good girl.

Poor ryan, getting lights shone in his eyes bc he probably has a concussion. At least Esposito & Montgomery are there with him. Lmao he says “No I don’t” & they force him into the ambulance anyway. (I’ve taken a pic of this, I don’t need to clip it. I do need a fic of it tho.)

She gave him coffee He let castle live but he let ryan live too.

Comfort <3

Is this a Mycroft moment? In like the fourth episode of Murdoch Mysteries, they got the wrong guy & let Harcourt/Mycroft go. He ran away into the night & was never seen again in 16 seasons. I kind of hope we do see him again, just for the giggles & shock factor. Whether he is an unstable fellow or turned himself around. The 3xK is gone & I have a feeling we will never see him again. We could tho, another couple years later? A couple seasons from now? I think it would be great. Maybe also a dread pirate roberts thing, since Jerry didn’t actually kill any of the last three victims personally. (Me: looking back on this liveblog after I’ve seen 3x6, 4x4, 5x5, 6x9, & 7x14+15)

Well that was fun. Good episode. I like the detail with ryan esposito montgomery & the paramedics all in the background during the caskett scene

I can totally believe that I basically rewatched 3x6 3xk & reliveblogged lol

#castle 3x6 #castle 3x6 spoilers #castle 3x6 quote #the 3xk episode

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thelightsmiles · 1 year

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day one of being without my bf

he left for the weekend and here i am missing him bc i spend all my free time hanging out w him, and now that he isnt here im trying not to think of him.

i used to be a little bit obsessive in my relationships, but i think ive grown alot, and i think im in a fairly healthy place in that, but sometimes i get so stuck thinking abt how i couldnt do anything wout knowinng hes there at the end of the day. i feel kinda like sometimes i could do anything bc hes there at the end of the day, but somehow that doesnt make it easier to not be afraid when im faced w something.

i get upset sometimes over the littlest things, like the literal littlest, and ik theres deeper reasons behind it, but it feels a little pathetic to me. i hold onto certain things he randomly says or his tone or when he wont hold my hand in public, and i j hold onto it and stay upset just to prove a point.

i used to do that w my mom. back then.

im so confused abt so much, i was riding the bus home from work today and i thought abt how i kinda dont know anything abt myself. i obviously do, but what about the things i wish i could understand? what abt the things i long so deeply to just figure out or even be able to think abt wout some ridiculous mental block.

i dont know who the fuck i am but i love myself and some days i cant even fathom how anyone could love me bc who am i? i honestly dont even fathom that i have a personality. ofc theres things abt me that make up me, but they all seem so shallow or unimportant. ive been shy my whole life, and then suddenly im not anymore, but i used to use that as a sort of identity.

and then i think abt other things that i form my identity arnd, other things that i convince myself are so important to who i am as a person, and then they leave and i dont rly know who i am after. its like having to completly restart.

anyways, i miss him and its only been a day.

#spilled thoughts #words #journal #spilling #tw #my writing

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fallindomino · 3 years

Text

how i would have changed s2 of hsmtmts

obvious disclaimer but im not a screenwriter or anyth so im not claiming what i want is best, this is just for fun lololol

okay so first of all nini would still have dropped out of yac but she wouldn’t have gone back to east, she would have transferred to north bc she was too ashamed to tell anyone she left at first and maybe she still wants to explore who she is away from ricky and the others

nini could join north’s batb and this way maybe we could have some playful rivalry with lily and nini and more scenes with antoine shdhdjdj also it could have been a great opportunity to flesh out lily’s character so those scenes where she reaches out to ricky and her confession at the end of the season actually make sense lol

speaking of ricky ,,, i think he should have left the play at some point hear me out. he only joined in the first place because of nini and barely wanted to do it at all once he realized he wasn’t gonna be able to perform with her. he could have joined crew and been a manager with natalie or smth considering he rlly does see the theater gang as a second family. also this would leave so much room for ej and ricky development and bants since ej joined the av club and began to pursue film. they could have some convos where idk ricky asks ej how he figured out what he wanted to do after duke didn’t work out and ricky could actually develop some interests that arent the play or nini ,,, maybe fucking art club i mean he did p good on that centerpiece for carlos’ quinceañera.

with ricky not being the beast anymore i think seb should take his place that would be soooo good. and since seb isn’t chip anymore carlos won’t make those snide comments about chip being a small unimportant role and we can just cut that whole fight bc it was dumb and bad. we could still have seb being insecure that carlos is only dating him bc there aren’t really any other gay guys at school. in a heartbeat is great and i did like ricky being supportive in the background it was kinda funny too idk dhdjdjfj

ooh i almost forgot abt rini ahshdj okay so i still think they should break up. but in my version there’s no ricky pulling an ej 1.0 and deleting comments off of nini’s insta, cause with ricky in art club and nini at north trying to figure out what she wants i think one of them would realize that they’re going in different directions and only got back tgt because they made each other feel safe cause what they had was familiar. this could be triggered by ricky mentioning smth abt nini at yac and then nini breaks down and tells him that she dropped out and is at north and doesn’t know where she’s going. and then they can both realize they aren’t good for each other rn and have a less tragic mutual break up.

honestly i really liked the scene of nini taking charge after miss jenn freaked out cause with the character detail of nini giving every person in the cast of productions she’s in a thank you note she just seems really like someone who is suited to lifting others up. this could still be explored at north, maybe she could help lily through her issues that were briefly implied in ep 11 and nini realizes she wants to be a drama teacher and encourage kids to go off book and put themselves into their acting, something she couldn’t have at yac.

okay now ej ,,, so like i said in ricky’s section, more bants between them cause i feel like friendships kinda fell by the wayside due to all the relationships so more friendship !!!! also the scene where ej tells his dad he’s not going to duke shouldn’t have been an ending scene, it should have been fleshed out with his dad pushing back saying how he pulled all these strings to get him in and ej saying he doesn’t wanna go if his own hard work couldn’t get him there. and also more scenes of ej doing av club things !!! and realizing he rlly likes film and wants to do it OMG IT WOULD BE SO COOL IF HE BROKE THE FOURTH WALL AND ASKED THE DOCUMENTARY CREW ABT THE FILM INDUSTRY god i would love that. the only scene we rlly got of ej doing film things was at the quinceañera which made me kinda sad. uhhh also i just wanted to specifically mention how ej got mr mazzara that job at cal tech bc it really showed how he wanted to be there for people not just for gina, who he had a crush on, but for mr mazzara who supported him outside of romance, so i wanna keep that for sure.

gina !!! okay so i mostly liked her arc in this season, the only changes i would make would be to flesh it out a teeny bit (god this hypothetical s2 would have to be like 22 eps at least shdjdjdjfj) anyways besides ashlyn singing home to get gina to stay i think there should be a scene where they actually talk in her room abt how gina feels safer when shes on the run (second chance reference ilysm) hhhh and also a scene of her and carlos actually working out compromises for their choreo cause i liked that bit of development too and fleshing that out would make gina an even better foil for lily, who felt a need to hog the spotlight like gina used to. with gina’s own arc fleshed out her character would feel more whole independently from romance and portwell would be even more rewarding than it is in the current s2. the only thing i would really change abt portwell is that they would kiss !!! in the finale but thats bc im biased.

ashlyn should have gotten a more fleshed out storyline about being insecure about not being a good enough belle or the typical belle. there were some throwaway lines when north did their typical dramatics but the only two real scenes that showed it were when ash talked to big red about it and when she was telling nini she wanted to do a run in “home” bc lily did it. ashlyn should get more screen time where she has to grapple with the reasons she doesn’t feel good enough and big red can still support her but also gina too bc i would like more roommate besties interaction.

kourtney could still date howie, that harry potter shit was cute but there needs to be smth else for kourtney’s arc. idk she’s still into fashion so maybe she could be out here trying to create her own line or smth? this doesn’t have to be resolved in s2 like making a wholeass line takes time and she could work on it into a potential s3. kourtney just didnt get much outside of howie and the stuff at the beginning of the season where she said nini inspired her to be independent and that's why she got a job was just dropped?? so i think that fashion could fill that for her if she’s still dating howie cause like having her whole arc just be the pizza place kinda overlaps w big red’s mini arc abt how he wasn’t settling for hospitality, its what he wants to do with his life.

ik what ur thinking. anna, even if you added more episodes, where would u find the room to add all these plotlines?? well first we cut (most of) the seblos fight, so thats some time saved. honestly most of the time that we r going to gain is going to be from cutting ms jenn’s time. things like ms jenn’s and nini’s car ride would get cut, but mostly all of ms jenn’s romances would get cut down. considering she’s the teacher and isn’t actually a character with an arc how does she have THREE love interests this season?? like all of the weird tension between her and zack can be cut, like just some short scenes of them being competitive can stay. all of the stuff with ricky’s dad can go bye bye we don’t need it. i did like her w mr mazzara so most of that can stay i just didn’t like how he said he would give up cal tech for her, ew no that would be gone.

the MENKIES !!!! this is the last thing im gonna address cause in a perfect world every character would get a long fleshed out arc but then the season would be waaay too long and also im mostly trying to work within material the show gave so this is mostly made up of “realistic” deviations from what actually happened. lol idk what that even means it just makes sense to me. but anyways!! uhhh bro idk i thought them dropping the menkies was funny but it also made the finale really BAD lmao. in this finale, seb is the beast, east still had to deal w the fact that they’re underfunded compared to north but no one is injured, lily is less of a poorly written character and maybe ppl are even rooting for her, and wow i just realized i never actually said what role i think nini should have in north’s show. OOH she could be student director instead of lily cause lily both being in the play while also directing was weird considering omg i just checked and according to her wiki page shes a FRESHMAN?? and they let her be student director? lol hell nah. okay so with all that in mind ,,, the menkies should have been the season cliffhanger instead of portwell. east and north should both be nominated, both schools perform at the menkies, and then the award winner is about to be announced and THATS when it cuts to natalie and the end of the season.

one, this actually gives more tension for a summer s3 as we would be waiting to see the consequences of whichever school won. also i bet people would be wondering if nini’s gonna be transferring back to east or staying at north. people would also prob wonder if ej would be getting the scholarship if east won and what that would mean for his interest in film.

lmao that got longggg and idk if anyone’s even gonna read this but it was fun to do :D

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thefallenbibliophilequote · 3 years

Text

The Outside

Bucky x reader

Word count: ~1k

Warning: Hurt/comfort. Angst (Depressing thoughts).

A/N: this is purely self indulgent, i feel like shit and i want bucky by my side. I'm writing this straight up on my phone so idk the word count and this is unedited bc I'm too tired from crying.

Bucky hasn't seen you all day, when he asked around the compound he only got negative results about your whereabouts.

He went to your room, knocking lightly and calling out to you.

"Y/N?" When no answer came he opened the door a bit, just a tiny bit to let him have a glimpse into your room. What he saw made his heart ache. There you were on your bed, laying on your side. He could hear the cries you were trying to keep quiet. He could see the movements of the blanket that was over you as your body shook from the sobs.

Opening the door wider, the creak and light that came from the hallway startled you and you turned around only to see Bucky there with a wide worried look in his beautiful blue eyes.

"Doll?"

"Bucky," you stuttered as you tried to use your hair to cover your tear stained cheeks. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to check up on you, i haven't seen you around today..."

"Oh, i just felt a bit sleepy, it's fine, you can go now." You forced out a court smile and a laugh, hoping he will let this go. You knew you can't hide any of this from a supersoldier, and you knew that you can't make up any excuse that he wouldn't immediately catch as a lie. But you only hoped he will let you rest and cut short the humiliation.

Bucky closed the door and locked it, getting closer to your bed and sitting on it.

"Doll, tell me what's wrong? What's gotten you crying?" He brought his metal arm to cup your cheek and wipe away a lingering tear. The intimacy of the action, and the delicacy of his touch only made it harder to keep your guard up and your tears gave away and spilled down your cheeks.

The broken sob that followed it broke Bucky's heart more and he took off his shoes and got on the bed to be closer to you. Bucky pulled you to his side so that your head rested in the crook of his neck and his left arm circled you as his right one drew patterns on your arm.

"Tell me what to do to make it better, angel." He whispered in your ear and kissed your forehead. He brought your legs over his lap and wrapped you up into his, so that all you could feel was just him, without the outside world.

"You can't make it better, it's silly to cry over it anyways." You sniffled and put your head just above his heart. Bucky took a moment to look around your room. He noticed the book on your bedside table alongside the tissue box. He noticed the tissues on your covers and the ones that were behind you on the floor. He noticed the thrown remote on the other side of the room.

"Just tell me, please doll." He ran his fingers through your hair, hoping to ground you and calm you down. It worked.

"There is just so much hate out there, outside. So much hate and so many awful people that just get away with being awful. It's so horrible there outside, in the world, and i can't deal with it. Everywhere i look online a person is being ignorant and hateful, insensitive- they don't even care about other people and their feelings!" It only made you sob harder and it got harder to understand what you were saying between the sniffles and the sharp intake of breath, but thank god he has super hearing. "I feel so helpless because i can't do anything about it, i can't stop the hate and it makes me miserable."

He took your hand in his and put it on his chest, letting you feel the rise and fall of his breaths.

"Doll, look at me." His low voice made you obey and he melted at the sight of your sad eyes, he would do anything to get you to smile again, he can't bear you being so sad. He will never leave you alone. "For the most part of my life all i knew was hate, that's all I saw and that's all i felt. I know there are awful things out there, humans that have no humanity inside them, but there are also good things. Never forget that there are good things. After all the hate i went through i got here, and i found my little ray of sunshine in you, in steve, and in this compound full of good people. Don't forget that through all the hate there are puppies and kittens, there are good books and marvelous movies; don't forget that there are more people like you, fighting the good fight and slowly but surely making this world a better place. One footstep at a time and they are changing this world for the better."

Bucky sighed in relief when he noticed your gaze was focused on him and your breath now matched his.

"In life there is a pile of good things and a pile of bad things. The pile of good things doesn't always soften the pile of bad things, but also the pile of bad things doesn't spoil the pile of good things or makes them unimportant."

You nodded at him when a small yawn escaped you.

"Remember that there is still kindness in this world, take it from me, it will get better and you will be able to see all the bright places from between the clouds." He kissed the crown of your head.

"I will." Your voice was low, you grew tired from the tears. "Thank you, Bucky."

"I promise I will never let you get hurt from the world outside. I will be here for you, forever." And here, inside the small home that for you was Bucky, you found yourself believing again.

#my writing #the outside #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #hurt comfort #angst #writing this felt like with every word i let out the weight on my chest lessened

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monsoonblooms12 · 3 years

Text

Priyotomo (Ethan Ramsey x f!MC)

Summary: The Last Day at Amazon and Ethan's first day back at Boston from Ethan and Pooja's POV

Priyotom(o/a): (Bengali) Dearest, Most Beloved

A/N: Time for another hopeless attempt at poetry!! Anyway, this is my take on Dr Ethan Ramsey running to the Amazons. I really hope that this is not absolute crap and makes so sense🧡

Thank you so much to Simone for Pre-reading! Love you Gurl🧡

If you enjoyed the story, please like it, leave a comment or reblog. Your feedback keeps me going🤎

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey X f!MC (Pooja Sharma)

Word Count: around 1.8K

Rating: General

Category: Angst

Warnings: (Very Brief) Mentions of blood, fainting and drinking

Title Inspo: Priyotomo Hai - Rabindra Sangeet (Rabindranath Tagore's composition)

OTHER WORKS

Pooja

16 years.

The date was displayed with vivid eloquence by the woody beige cubes that adorned the desk, posing a match with the minimalism of the room.

It was a preposterous fact.

Glassy ambers switched perspective in a progressive motion, and they interpreted the solitary shine of the table lamp on the transparent surface.

Four glowing smiles, two tiny toddlers sat on their parents' lap.

It does not feel surreal. Neither a tale of a bygone era.

It was not her past. It was her present, her life's gears were turned by this very photograph.

Her bracelet adorned hand held it close to her heart, which beat in a meteoric rhythm.

The cacophonous tunes from the fiesta painfully pierced through her reverie, cajoling her to close the mahogany doors that lead to her cocoon.

The flamboyant kantha stitched lehenga proved to be burdensome to carry.

With ponderous steps, Pooja settled down on the couch, pulling her feet to herself.

She wanted to be ten again. Not eleven.

Terminate the time when she could be that blithe girl, rolling dices with her mother.

But there was a specific reason why the reminisces came back stronger than any usual day.

Somewhere in the remote land, in a cholera-stricken district, a summery blue-eyed man spent his days in seclusion.

And occupied the chambers of her cerebral hemispheres.

What was the pain of being left alone with only emotions as a companion without as much as a message?

She wiped her cheek, only to discover the black of her eyeliner now adorning her fingers.

She had been crying.

When? She could not feel the tears that left smokey meanders on the map of her face.

The heartbreak and the circumstances had numbed her feelings. All she wanted was an embrace.

Why did his peach lips mark her as his if this was the end in sight?

She refused to accept it. The end.

She placed her foot down, not feeling the pierce of a pin fallen down against her skin.

Drops of scarlet marked her track as she retouched the smear of her face.

Time to go and socialize.

Ethan

Of everything to look at in the shiny cellular, his eyes now traced the pristine form of the lady who now inhabited every one of his senses.

The comely picture made her look ravishing and the adamant neurons started pulling out manila folders with her memories kept in them.

No. He cannot.

The fiery golden liquid disappeared faster than it had been poured.

He had found himself on the crossroad of whether to type out the words that played in a loop in his mind or not.

I miss you!

He always chose the latter.

He had already given her a false hope.

Of a future of them.

He did not want to do it again.

Only now he realizes that it was a hope he had given himself as well when he first took that sacred form of hers into his arms.

And that he ran away. Like a coward.

Ethan Ramsey the coward.

Who could not fight for them.

Who could not fight for her.

Who could not fight for Lo-

No.

He did not let the word complete. The very thought was dangerous.

Throwing the classy cylinder he had been holding with a deathly grip, he poured the last bit of that glass bottle in him.

And walked over hurriedly, the tiny glass pieces stabbing him, to again begin the reset.

One which would never complete.

Next Day

Pooja

The ethereal moon spread out the beams of serenity all over the ceremonious night.

It was a lively affair. Merrymaking and cultural programs went on, as she stood amidst the cheery atmosphere with a sombre expression.

In front of Pooja, was the masterfully sculpted idol of the Mother Goddess, standing majestically as the centrepiece of the celebration. She was the epitome of power, the Mahisasura Mardini.

The recollections of an unforgettable past come as paper-planes drifting in a gentle air, carrying the playfulness, a child's happy smiles. A time when her mother would take Pooja to the mythological lands through her words, and they would get lost like flying butterflies in fairytale land.

The tunes of Bengali music float in the gentle air, and she hums along. The first song her mom had taught her, also for a Durga Puja function. Her mom was deeply rooted in all of them, the culture of Bengal kept alive by her. She was the reason why Pooja could become a part of a community she takes pride in.

Even now, so many years later, things don't change. They hold on to these roots like they are holding onto their life, not letting them disappear.

It feels like holding onto her, keeping her alive.

Recreating a small piece of her favourite Kolkata in Bhopal.

But the aura of calm hid like the clouds covering the sun's shine. The piercing pain of heartbreak came back, the wound untreated.

The soft sand of her life's hourglass prickles, solitary grains floating to join their siblings. The wish of them defying gravity and going back to bring the 10th year of her life had never been so strong as it was now.

The heavy jewellery tugged at her ears, letting her know their presence and the styled hair gave her a throbbing headache.

Her tiredness and exhaustion, now fuelling back in her veins refusing to let her bring back that sense of peace she experienced moments ago.

Around her people wore phoney smiles. All they cared about was unimportant Tommy rot. Not a single one of them stepped back from criticizing the others behind their backs.

It was a saga of inflated egos, of constant competition, to make the next person look inferior.

She was tired.

Of people running away, Of abandonment, Of hopes getting dashed.

Why did his thoughts keep coming back? After all, he did make it clear, didn't he?

But did he really succeed? Did his efforts head? Did his heart finally give in to his relentless demand?

Did he really forget her?

All the messages that lay not replied, unheard voicemails, she was sure he had.

But that colour of his he left on her?

The piece of his heart that was protected by her?

Would he be able to forget them?

An earthen lamp flickered in front of her, bud she did no rush to save it.

If it goes out, then let it.

Just like the never-ending load shedding of her life.

But it didn't.

It was a wish, a hope that kept it alive.

The sweet nothings he had whispered to her, the gentle kisses he lined on her forehead.

They had promised her forever.

His being enveloped her, she doubted if it would ever break.

The hope of him & her flickers every now and then, just like the earthen lamp.

But did it go off?

It couldn't.

Because there was no wind strong enough to extinguish it.

The possibility of him and her.

The realization and a blackness hit her at the same time.

And as she fell, her mind held on to only it.

The possibility of him and her.

Ethan

If the Great Thinkers from BCs before were asked if going to a beer garden after spending 2 months in another continent and a 13hr long flight was a sensible thing to do, they would have watched the questioner in bewilderment.

And he agreed. He was not being sensible, not even 1%.

The urge to see her, to gaze at her moonly face, to know that she okay.

It had never been so strong. He felt his mind would give up on him if he could not locate her today.

Not that he had stopped the forgetting process, absolutely not.

It was just a solace, a bandage to the scars he had given himself.

That she would be okay even if he was not there with her.

Focus fixed on keeping his gaze as unhurried as possible, he looked around, putting the well-trained ears and eyes to work.

And then he saw them.

All her friends clustered at a table, merrily clinking beer bottles and sharing happy glances. His eyes pierced into the scene, but he could not locate her.

A step or two brought him close, the desperateness making his heart go crazy.

But the conclusion shattered every bit of sense and calm, dissipated the hope of getting to see here.

She was not here.

His face fell like someone who had lost the thing they hold the closest to their heart.

She, really, was not here.

He really wanted to ask the residents sitting at the table in question, to get some, any, news on her.

But his rational mind still existed, and it was the only thing that stopped him from going haywire.

She was not here.

He took out the notorious cuboid chiming in his pocket, full of satirical typed phrases his cerebrum refused to decrypt.

But it was adamant to get his attention.

A scoff escaped like a habit.

As if anyone could be powerful enough to take his attention away from her.

He was caught in a maze of her memories, his time in the continent thousands of kilometres away and the ghoul of feelings chasing him deeper into it, making him yearn for her solace, the moistness of a forlorn kiss on his forehead, the gentle swipe of a thumb to take his tears away.

His way was lost in there, every turn making him end up more challenged. But even if he did not want to, he had to find the way out.

His soul was like a thorn who could only hurt the tender flower that she was.

What he did not realize was that she was a rose, her being was amidst thorns.

She had the power to beautify them.

The click of the turn-on sound, brought him back to the piece of work his fingers were creating on the light emanating screen.

And in seconds that passed too fast, he saw his heart's treasure,

She was here.

Not in footsteps & whispers.

She was here.

Not in touches and kisses.

She was here.

Not in muscle and bone.

But in labyrinths of his heart, in filmstrips of his memory, in sensations that made him go wild,

She was here.

(With him forever, she was not the one to leave his side)

PS: I HC the end of 1st year of their residency being in Sept-Oct, which is the time of Durga Puja in India. And since Poo is half Bengali, and she never misses any tradition involving her mom's side of the fam, so she would not have been at Boston then. (Or take it as an excuse to increase angst potential) Anyway, Thank you so much for reading and I hope you have a great day ahead! Love, Manamee🧡.

Tags (Please let me know if you want to be added or removed or if I forgot you I feel like my brain has short-circuited and I forgot someone):

Perma: @gkittylove99 @neotericthemis @udishaman @aestheticartsx @twinkleallnight @schnitzelbutterfingers @sophxwithers @sweatyrysconnoisseur @nikki-2406 @choicesfanaf @trrfanaddict @starrystarrytrouble @gardeningourmet @parkbarks @mvalentine @lovablegranny @mercury84choices @helloayz

Open Heart (All fics and edit): @lucy-268 @maurine07 @bellcat2010

Ethan x Pooja (fics): @aleynareads @stygianflood @choicesaddict5 @mysticaurathings @jamespotterthefirst @ilikemenbutonlyethanramsey

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

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bellamyblakru · 3 years

Note

For the Bad Things Happen Bingo, can I request ‘passing out from the pain’ with hurt!Merlin/protective!Gwaine ???

YOU SURE CAN. i have like a list of prompts that came before this one that i should be doing,,, but i really wanted to try and write merwaine so badly isksksksk thank you for this opportunity. i hope i can do them justice with my first time🥺 (also lol i fangirled at your request bc i love your account sm asbskakak)

here it is on ao3 and under the cut! i hope you like it!!

Merlin watched Gwaine from his peripheral, thinking about everything and nothing at once. Gwaine has been with the knights for a few years now, right when Arthur took the crown, and Merlin hasn’t seen any indication that the man wanted to leave. But he will one day, won’t he? He has told Merlin many times how he doesn’t like staying in one place for too long, so Merlin never expected him to stay here as long as he has.

Merlin frowned at his thoughts on top of his mare, Honey, as Gwaine chatted with Percival and Leon. He was making them laugh, that smile of his shining through the darkening thoughts floating in Merlin’s mind. Merlin couldn’t help letting the soft smile slip through seeing how happy Gwaine made them—it seemed like Gwaine had that effect on everyone, Merlin mused.

Arthur was talking with Lance and Elyan, so Merlin let his mind start wandering. His magic was itching to escape—it has been since the morning they left on this hunt. Merlin knew Arthur just wanted to flee the restraints of the castle, and, honestly, Merlin had been feeling the same way for days.

Lately, Gwaine had been avoiding him. Well, Merlin thinks Gwaine had been avoiding him, at least, and Gwaine never does that, ever. He’d been thinking that he must have hurt Gwaine somehow, but every time he thought back to their last interaction, where nothing seemed wrong, he had no idea where the distance was coming from. He had been making Gwaine laugh at training, and after that day, he hadn't been able to get more than five words to him.

He missed Gwaine.

That thought made him frown once more at the offending trees they were passing. He missed Gwaine because Gwaine was his friend, nothing more. The more he tried to convince himself of that fact, the more unlikely it became. Frustrated, Merlin let some of his prickling magic flow out his fingertips to his mare, smoothing away her small aches.

Merlin patted her neck with a small smile as she sighed out in contentment—at least he could do one thing right lately. Magic, he thought with heart panging a bit, still wasn’t free and Arthur has been on the throne for about five years. It hurts, still after all this time, that something as pure as this would lead to his death—but he knew deep down that he wasn’t afraid of dying, not anymore. No, Merlin was terrified of how his friends would react after years of deceit and pain.

Just out of reflex, Merlin looked towards them. He found Gwaine staring at him, concern written on every feature, but the second their eyes met, his friend quickly started up another conversation with the others.

Merlin ignored the deepening pang in his chest and the nausea rising in his throat—this was nothing, he told himself, Gwaine didn’t mean anything by that.

The lie left a bitter taste in his mouth.

He was about to suggest they stop, wanting a distraction, when he heard the noise. His mare also stopped, feeling him stiffen. Merlin whipped his head to the side, his eyes narrowing.

“Merlin?” Gwaine quickly came to his side, but Merlin’s head didn’t move, “Do you hear something?”

Merlin wished he didn’t, just so he could use this as an excuse to talk to him, but he scowled lowly in response, “Bandits—ten, if I’m right, and many have magic.”

He knew Gwaine wouldn’t ask how he knew—he never did.

The man nodded, and Merlin’s heart lightened a bit when Gwaine didn’t say “to relax” or that “he was paranoid” like the rest of the knights would’ve done. It always felt good to not be second-guessed.

“How long do we have?”

Merlin tilted his head, “Two minutes, at most.”

Gwaine grunted in response, galloping towards Arthur. Merlin didn’t like the void he felt in his heart the second Gwaine left his side, but, shaking his head, he knew there were more important matters to think about. Merlin watched, amazed, as the knight got everyone’s attention so easily. The way he talked, with his rare seriousness expression, captivated everyone just as much as his joking did.

And although Merlin tried to convince himself that the knights would listen to him that way if he told them, he knew they would never.

Merlin was a simple country boy, wasn’t he? He had no credibility to them. He couldn’t truly blame them—it’s not like Merlin was an open book. He lied, but never completely. His cheerful, idiotic personality was a cover of sorts, but it was just another part of who he was. He wasn’t only the clumsy fool, but what could he do to show them otherwise? They knew Gwaine hid his problems in jokes and clever remarks, so what was so wrong with Merlin doing the same? Merlin didn’t know, and he didn’t think he wanted to.

Showing them the magic, the part that was so integral to who he was, would lead them to fear him, not respect him as one of their own. He didn’t want recognition, that’s never why he did what he does, but some form of understanding between them all is what he craved, what he wished. To not be second-guessed when he knew everyone’s lives were at stake and that he could save them...but that was only a fool’s dream.

He stopped with the rest of the knight when Gwaine convinced them that something was coming.

“Merlin,” Gwaine said from the top of the group, “go to the tree line, you won’t get hurt there.”

Merlin nodded with a carefully blank face—the battling emotions, of love and irritation, whirling inside of him.

They don’t know you can protect yourself, the logical part of his mind reminded him. After all these years, Merlin thought, I should be able to accept the coddling with a full heart. It showed that they do care about him, but why did it never feel that way? Merlin felt like an obstacle in their way—someone to protect, to always watch out for, a hindrance.

Merlin felt silly for the negative thoughts—none of this could be helped right now, so why dwell on these facts?

Aiming for the most advantageous spot, Merlin saw the first bandit pop out next to Eylan, who effectively took the man down. Percy patted him on the back as they moved around Arthur, flanking their king in preparation of the ambush.

As the air pulsed with anticipation, Merlin’s eyes strayed towards Gwaine, like always. The man’s face was grime, ready for battle, as he surveyed the surrounding area.

Merlin was distracted as a noise came from behind him, and he quickly spun around to face the intruder. The bandits with magic were walking smoothly towards him and Merlin panicked—do I attack? He changed his mind quickly, not thinking about it too much, as he turned around and ran towards his group to warn them.

Merlin guessed the obvious panic on his face spurred the knights to run towards him, but it was too late. One of the bandits threw a spell at him with a force that threw him to the side, hitting a nearby tree.

He vaguely heard the shouting of the knights as the attackers surrounded them, all eight of them chanting under their breaths as they did so, forcing the circle of the roundtable knights to still. Merlin groaned in pain, lifting himself.

Protect them. Protect them.

His only goal—and it has been since the beginning. In that moment, Merlin realized how unimportant it was that they never knew about the magic. The knights knew how much Merlin loved them, so everything else was secondary. Merlin, with or without his magic, would always put himself in danger if it meant his friends can see the next day.

Pulling himself up with the tree, he shook his head and listened to the droning monologue of the leader.

Same shit, as always.

Merlin couldn’t help but laugh—loudly. The monotonous speaker abruptly stopped talking as they all stared at Merlin laughing.

He couldn’t help it, honestly.

The leader narrowed his eyes at him, “What’s so funny, boy?”

Arthur and Gwaine shook their heads in looks that screamed “shut up, Merlin,” but Merlin held his stomach as the laughter subsided, the smile still on his face as he replied, “Nothing, I swear,” but then another chuckle escaped as the leader frowned at the answer.

When one of the lackeys stepped forwards with a sword pointing at him, Merlin sobered up, a smirk in place, as he lifted his hands in surrender, “Okay, okay. I’ll tell you! It’s just...every time this happens, one of you always explains why you are doing what you are doing. And every time, and I mean every time, it is revenge for what Uther did. Who, by the way, is long dead. Arthur, like always, gets blamed for his father’s actions. Are you guys just daft, or does everyone truly believe Arthur is actually Uther? It’s quite simple, really. Uther was a tyrant—I think we can all agree on that, but attacking his son? What’s the purpose? To show the King that magic can never be used for good? You know when all he sees is magic being used against him, of course he will hate it. What other choice would he have, hmm?”

Merlin’s smile dropped off as he shook his head, walking towards the stunned group, “Honestly! I get it, I truly do, but this will never solve anything. You are perpetuating the violent cycle, you understand?”

At Merlin’s question, the leader growled, “All I see is a stupid servant running his mouth.”

Merlin’s face lit up, “Interesting. Nothing took, then?”

He heard Gwaine sigh, “Merls?”

Merlin looked over at the knight, who had a small smile on his face, “Yes, Sir Knight?”

Gwaine laughed a bit, “You might be slightly more dramatic than me, and that’s impressive, to say the least. You think your lovely wit could save us?”

Merlin smiled at the knight, his heart feeling more full than it has all week, and winked, “Well, it was worth the shot?”

And as they just continued smiling at each other, Merlin saw the leader blink and shake his head, muttering something to one of his followers with nothing but malice on his face.

Merlin watched, almost in slow motion, as the next spell was directed at Gwaine.

That wasn’t the plan.

Merlin yelled, “No!” as he sprinted and leapt in front of the knight as the spell hit home. Merlin gasped in pain, staring in shock at the sizzling hole in his abdomen, and he heard the leader laugh.

Merlin's focus narrowed solely on the leader, everything else drowning out as that malicious laugh continued. The bandits all started chanting once more, circling the group, and when he started hearing the grunts of pain from his friends, Merlin’s mind, in a moment of pure clarity, repeated: protect them.

So, with a hole in his stomach, Merlin straightened up and locked eyes with the people hurting his friends.

“This stops. Now.”

And before they could get another word in, Merlin’s eyes burned the brightest molten gold. The wind whipped, the sky darkened, and the ground shaking with Merlin being the center of it all. The bandits backed up hastily, staring at Merlin like a newly found god, and Merlin blinked at the action—their actions full of desperate fear, and that wasn’t right. He never wanted to be feared.

Merlin let the power steep into his voice, “Leave now and never hurt anyone ever again. Do you understand?”

They all shook their heads, bowing at the waist for him, and right before they ran with their tails between their legs Merlin could swear he could hear their whispers of Emrys.

The minute they were out of sight, Merlin sagged. His entire body felt like it was on fire, his brain had pulsating pain that felt like lightning behind his eyes. And when his strength left, he felt two people’s arms wrap around him.

Looking up with all his effort, Merlin saw Lance and Gwaine on either side of him, the latter with a sword up at the abnormally silent group.

The world was blurring when Merlin heard Gwaine snarl at the king, “You take one wrong step and I will run you through.” And even in his state of delirium, Merlin knew Gwaine meant it.

“Gwaine,” Merlin whispered, the pain lacing through his body in waves, “it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not,” Gwaine bit back still facing Arthur and the knights with his sword raised high.

Merlin smiled sadly, staring at his knight, “Gwaine?”

That got the man’s attention, the anger draining out of him the minute their eyes met, and Merlin continued quietly, “Thank you.” The “thank you for not hating me for having magic, thank you for protecting me, thank you for being here” went unsaid, but not unheard.

Merlin saw Gwaine’s eyes water, “You’re going to be fine, Merls, you’ve been through worse, you know? This is nothing.”

Merlin let out a wet laugh, “Yeah, maybe.”

Gwaine was speaking again, but Merlin couldn’t hear him anymore. The pain became too much then, so Merlin let the black spots in his vision take over, and he welcomed oblivion with a smile.

—————

The next few times Merlin woke up, he was against someone’s front with a horse galloping at full speed underneath him. He would groan, but quickly succumb to the pain again.

The first time he could actually open his eyes completely, he was staring at a very familiar ceiling. Merlin gasped as he tried to move, his hand flying to his stomach.

“Merlin! Don’t move, my boy,” Gaius’s worried face came into view, “You need some rest, but you’re going to be just fine.”

Merlin figured as much when he took the hit, knowing his magic wouldn’t let him die that easily.

He blanched, remembering what happened, “Gaius?” he rasped out, his voice felt scratchy like he had been screaming for hours, “Is everyone…?”

Gaius frowned, but Gwaine, who Merlin just noticed was sitting right next to him, answered for him with nothing cheerful on his face, “Everyone is fine, thanks to you.”

Merlin sighed in relief, looking back up to the ceiling, and he heard Gaius pat Gwaine as he moved out the door leaving the two of them alone.

They sat in a comfortable silence until Merlin asked, his voice small, “Gwaine, what happened?”

Gwaine huffed out a breath, out of anger or pain, Merlin didn’t know, as Gwaine moved to sit next to him on the cot. Merlin grunted a little as he moved to make room for him, and Gwaine frowned at the noise.

“I’m fine, I promise.”

Gwaine looked at him in clear disbelief, “I’m sure.”

Merlin sighed, looking up at the knight, “Tell me?”

Gwaine nodded in defeat, “I threatened princess, as you know,” Merlin nodded, a frown forming, “I was going to throw you over my shoulder and run for it.”

Merlin blinked, “That was your plan? Even when you’re mad at me, you were still going to take me with you?”

Gwaine’s eyes widened, “I’m not mad at you! What made you think that?”

Merlin looked to the side, “You’ve been avoiding me, Gwaine, I know it.”

Gwaine flinched, “Oh. That.”

After the moment of heavy silence, with Merlin’s heart feeling like it was breaking, he moved on, “Whatever, you obviously didn’t need to use that plan since I’m home. What happened?”

Gwaine smiled a bit here, “Well, Sir Lancelot and I stood our ground. Lance had a lot to say about you for a man of such a few words. While I lifted you up, and took you away from the group, Lance told them everything. Arthur,” Gwaine shook his head, “he looked betrayed and hurt at first, but after a day of Lance’s tales of you, and mentioning how you literally just saved us once again without bloodshed, Arthur finally came to his senses—especially when I kept threatening him.”

Merlin started crying, unwillingly, blindly grabbing for Gwaine’s hand, “So, what now? Everyone knows and I’m not dead? Am I banished? Hated? Feared?”

Gwaine’s face was uncharacteristically soft as he wiped the tears from Merlin’s face with his other hand, “Now...now, we make history and show these assholes what they’ve been missing. Merlin,” he tightened his grip on his hand, “I always knew something was different about you. And I never, ever, feared you for a moment—even as you made those bandits shit themselves.” Gwaine let out a small laugh at that, the soft smile returning to his face, “I don’t know how many times I need to say this until it gets through that stubborn head of yours: I came to Camelot for you and you alone. No princess or wealth keeps me here, you do.” Gwaine stilled his hand on Merlin’s face, “And if I needed to, I wouldn’t have hesitated to grab you and run—I’ve always been prepared for that, actually.”

Merlin kept crying, “Then why?” Why have you been distancing yourself? Why did you make me think you hated me? Why are you so loyal to me?

Gwaine's face fell at Merlin’s hoarse and quiet question, “I’m not good enough for you. I knew how I felt, and I knew you deserved better than me. I haven’t stayed in one place this long before, and I thought if you knew that you were the only person keeping me here that I would scare you off before we even had a chance.”

Merlin stared at his knight, understanding and sadness flowing through him, “Gwaine,” he choked out, “you’re an idiot.”

Gwaine gaped, undignified, “Hey! Bold words for a man who is utterly vulnerable at this moment.”

Merlin laughed lightly, “An idiot,” he continued, “who I love.”

Gwaine’s eyes shone brightly, “Love,” the disbelief in his voice hurting Merlin’s heart, “You love me? Merls, are you sure?”

Merlin laughed again at the absurdity of the wild man in front of him, “Yes, Gwaine, I am sure. Only if you wouldn’t mind facing the uncertainty of my future—“

Merlin was cut off with a loud, surprise gasp when Gwaine threw himself on top of him for a hug, then grabbing his face, and placing a rather soft kiss to his lips.

“Merlin. I would rather be at your side, with the threat of the world crushing us, than anywhere else. You, my magically beautiful friend, will never feel alone again in this life. I give you my sword, my heart, and everything I am—if you will have me.”

Merlin nodded, his eyes watering once more, and smiled into the next kiss with his knight.

Merlin felt the burden of destiny in his soul lift in his embrace with Gwaine—and he knew, deep in his heart and soul, that with Gwaine at his side, they could face any uncertainty coming their way.

#ashley writes #merlin fanfiction #merwaine fanfic #merwaine #merlin #gwaine #hurt merlin #protective gwaine #bad things happen bingo #passing out from pain #gwaine is beautiful and protective and loves merlin #happy ending #pls lmk if it sucks asddfgg #bamf merlin #hurt/comfort #mergwaine

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sleepless-in-starbucks · 4 years

Text

Useless

Summary: Logan’s behind on his work. His solution to this problem? Simply stay up all night to get it done, of course! Roman takes issue with this solution Content: Overworking, sleep-deprivation, self-deprecation, all finishes up with sleepy cuddles because Of Course Pairing: Platonic Logince (can be seen pre-qpr/romo too bc these two shits got real cute near the end but whichever way works)

Logan was having a horrible night. He was tired, he could feel a headache coming on, he was mistyping his every other word, and he had just finished his coffee, which meant he’d have to get up and waste more valuable work time to refill it. He had tried to just fill it himself, but after Patton learned Virgil had been doing that to stay up for weeks at a time, he had gotten Roman to lock it down so that coffee could only be gotten by physically going to the metaphysical kitchen inside of Thomas’s head.

To top everything off, it was all his own fault he was so miserable. If he had been more efficient with his work in earlier nights, he could be sleeping now. Instead, he had allowed himself to slack off and go to bed before the work was finished, only prompting his workload to get heavier.

But Logan had a plan now: stay up all of tonight, finish all work, and then resume regular schedule. So long as he didn’t allow himself to slack off again in the future, he would be fine. He just had to make it through tonight.

Something much easier said than done, apparently.

With a sigh, Logan checked that his current work was saved before picking up his coffee mug, standing up, and making his way to the kitchen. Though the new coffee system worked well to stop anyone from getting too much coffee during the day, it was mostly inconsequential at night. No one was up to stop Logan from getting his fifth coffee of the night, after all.

Halfway down the hallway, Logan managed to trip over nothing, falling to the side hard. Were it not for him catching the wall, Logan likely would’ve hit the floor, and considering the way everything around him suddenly felt like it was turning on its own axis, there was still a decent possibility that he would.

He waited a moment for the ‘world to settle’ before he stood once more on his own, this time careful to be slow as he moved. Logan wasn’t entirely sure what had happened, but as long as it didn’t happen again, he would be fine.

Successfully arriving at the coffee maker, Logan set his mug down as he picked up the coffee pot. It was about halfway full, the liquid within having gone slightly cold but still relatively hot.

Despite how hard he tried to be careful as he poured, not all of the coffee made it into his mug, splashes of it ending up on the counter instead. Logan cursed quietly under his breath as he replaced the pot. He’d have to clean that up. He picked up his mug, intending to get a bit of energy from the coffee before he moved back into doing any kind of work, only to have that backfire when the cup shook in his hands, more coffee spilling over the edges, this time getting over the front of his shirt before staining the floor.

Logan cursed again, slightly louder. The coffee wasn’t hot enough to burn but it sure did hurt, and now there was even more of a mess for Logan to take care of. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to push down his rising frustration at the situation.

Busy trying to adapt to his situation, Logan didn’t hear the sound of soft footsteps padding down the hallway and into the kitchen. He remained completely unaware of another side’s presence until he heard, “Uh… Logan?”

Logan froze. He wasn’t supposed to get caught. He had been quiet as he moved, even when he tripped, and surely the sound of spilt coffee couldn’t wake anyone. It was possible he was just… hearing things. Yes, that was it. He had just thought he heard someone call his name, but no one had, because no one was there, because no one but him should be up right then.

That thought in mind, Logan went back to what he was doing, placing down his coffee mug as he decided whether or not it would be smart to simply wipe up the spills with his shirt. It was already stained anyways, and it would be quick.

A hand landed on his shoulder and he tensed. The hand relaxed its hold a bit, but it was still there, warm and solid and very much real. Logan resisted the urge to curse again.

“Logan?” The voice repeated, and Logan let out a small sigh before he turned to face the other side. Though he hadn’t been able to place the voice at first, there was no mistaking the bright red pants and crown-covered t-shirt that were Roman’s pajamas.

“Roman.” Logan replied, wrapping his fingers tighter around his mug to hide the fact that his hands were shaking (the result of being startled by Roman being awake, of course, what else could it be?). “What are you doing up?”

“Three am plot bunny.” Roman answered. “Had to catch the sucker before it woke Thomas. Why are you up?”

“Work.” Logan informed him curtly before moving to walk past Roman. He could clean up the coffee stains later, after Roman had gone back to bed. “And, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to it.”

Roman didn’t let go of Logan’s shoulder, however, moving with him so that he was once more in front of Logan. “Working? Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“I told you, I got woken up. I was just about to go back to bed when I heard movement and decided to check it out.” Roman said, frowning. “If you’re working now, you must have been working all night.”

Logan bit back the urge to snap ‘So?’ in response. “I have work to do, so I am working on it, as I need to to ensure the upkeep of Thomas’s logic. Do you have an issue with this?”

“Do I- of course, I do, Lo. You can’t be up all night working. You need to sleep.”

“I have fallen behind in my work.” Logan said, shaking his head a bit. “I need to catch up to properly ensure the upkeep of Thomas’s logic.”

Roman’s frown deepened. He looked as if he were concerned, which Logan thought was preposterous, because there was nothing to be concerned about. He was simply trying to do his job. “Logan, you are Thomas’s logic. If you want to properly ensure upkeep of Thomas’s logic, you have to rest. You can do your work later.”

“I have already pushed my work off long enough. Working now is more efficient and keeps me from procrastinating.” Logan responded, once more trying to push past Roman and once more being stopped. He huffed. “Please allow me to return to my room and resume my work, Roman.”

“How much coffee have you had, Lo?”

Logan frowned. That was a random question. “Unimportant. Now, Roman, please-”

“You’re shaking.” Roman said, voice gentle though the words sounded like some sort of condemnation to Logan. “I know you want to work, but you need to rest.”

Roman’s free hand moved to try and grab Logan’s mug, to take it from his hands, but Logan gripped it tighter and pulled it closer against his chest. When he did that, Roman sighed before snapping his fingers instead.

At Logan’s confused look, Roman gestured downwards with his head, and upon looking in that direction Logan realized what Roman had done. His mug was suddenly empty, the coffee that had been in it vanished. A glance behind him revealed the coffee pot was empty as well. Even the stains were cleaned up, the one that had been on Logan’s shirt included.

“Fine.” Logan spat, shoving his now empty mug into Roman’s open hand as he finally managed to get around the creative side, stalking off to his room. He shut the door behind him as soon as he was inside, turning off the lights as well before he plopped down in his desk chair and resumed his work.

Roman was going to take away his coffee? He’d work without it. Roman wanted him to sleep? He’d pretend like he was. Roman wanted him to fail to do the one thing he had to do? Well tough luck for Roman.

Because as important as sleep was (even for him and the other figments of a real person’s personality), this was more important. This was Logan’s entire purpose, his entire function, his entire reason for existing. He had to keep up on his work, keep Thomas’s facts organized for him, even if that meant making sacrifices.

As he was typing, however, a hand reached over his shoulder, shutting his laptop and plunging him into near-complete darkness, only broken by his desk lamp. Logan made a noise of distress. His work-

“You’ve been writing nonsense for nearly a minute.” Roman said softly from behind Logan, both his hands coming to rest on Logan’s shoulders. “You’re not getting any work done like this, Lo. It’s time to rest.”

Logan rolled his shoulders as he pushed himself forward, dislodging Roman’s hands. “Roman-”

“Say what you want, Logan, but I’m not letting up on this.” Roman cut him off. “You working right now isn’t helping anyone- not Thomas, and definitely not yourself. You’ve already overworked yourself; now you need to sleep.”

“I can’t.”

“Of course you can-”

“I can’t stop!” Logan yelled, quiet enough no one outside of his room should be able to hear but still much louder than intended. “I can’t stop working, because if I stop working again I’ll fall even further behind, and if I fall behind again I’ll never catch up, and if I never catch up I’ll never be able to properly do my job, and what’s even the point of me if I can’t do my job!” Barely a second after he finished talking, Logan deflated, letting his head fall against his desk. “If I can’t do my job properly, I’m useless, Roman. I have to do my work.”

For a moment, Logan was met with nothing but silence. He almost thought Roman had left before his chair was being turned away from his desk. With no support, his head flopped completely downwards, and he didn’t have the energy or will to lift it back up.

Gentle, warm hands cupped his cheeks, lifting his head so that he could meet Roman’s eyes. Logan didn’t bother trying to look away, resigned to whatever Roman was going to say or do.

“You’re not useless.”

“Roman…”

“You’re not useless.” Roman repeated, voice sincere. “You don’t just exist to work. No one expects- or wants- you to be constantly working, and no one’s going to hold it against you if you take a break.”

“I’m behind.” Logan said, shaking his head just the slightest. “I have to keep up with my work. I can’t take a break now.”

“Yes you can.” Roman replied, one hand straying from Logan’s cheek to comb through his hair, likely to relax and/or distract him (the action was working on both fronts). “You’re allowed to rest even if you still have work to do. Even if you weren’t writing out nonsense or if you were weeks behind. Your well-being always comes before your work.”

Logan didn’t speak for a moment, closing his eyes and leaning against Roman’s hand on his cheek. Without coffee or work to focus on, it was becoming harder to resist the call of sleep. “I’ll never catch up.” he finally said, cracking his eyes open just to stare tiredly at Roman. “If I don’t work now, I’ll just keep falling behind. I can’t be behind forever, Ro.”

“Then I’ll help you with your work.” Roman offered. “Two heads are better than one, after all.”

“You… you’d do that for me?”

Roman’s expression softened and he slid the hand in Logan’s hair down to the back of his neck, pulling Logan’s forehead against his own. “Of course I would, Lo. I care about you. I don’t want you overworking yourself, and if me helping you out will make you feel better about taking a break, I’m more than happy to be of assistance.” Roman paused to smile in a small, sweet way at Logan as his eyes slipped back shut for a moment before he blinked rapidly to once more look at Roman. “But not now. For now, you need to go to bed so you can spend all of tomorrow stuck watching Disney movies with me.”

Logan frowned at Roman. “Disney movies… but my work-”

“-can wait until you’re fully rested.” Roman finished for him as he removed his hand from Logan’s cheek to snap his fingers. Logan didn’t even have to look down to realize he had been changed into his own pajamas, neat dark ones with accurate constellation designs. “And would you look at that! You’re in your pjs! And you only wear those when you’re going to bed so I guess it must be bedtime.”

“I think you’re cheating.” Logan said as Roman shifted, hooking one arm under the bend in Logan’s legs and the wrapping the other behind his back. He stood up, easily lifting Logan.

“If it gets you resting faster, then I suppose I shall have to be a cheater.” Roman responded, carrying Logan over to his bed and carefully depositing him upon it. After Logan lied there without attempting to properly tuck himself in, Roman sighed fondly and moved him around until he was under his sheets. “You don’t make this easy, do you?”

“I’m still not certain I should be sleeping.” Logan said, though he was snuggling deeper under his blankets even as he spoke.

Roman chuckled quietly, removing Logan’s glasses for him. “You look like you want to be sleeping, and that’s good enough reason for you to be sleeping.”

Logan hummed. He had never been good with holding onto his awareness once he got too tired, and his current situation wasn’t helping matters at all. Roman chuckled again, running his hand through Logan’s hair once before moving away. Logan rolled over and pressed his face into his pillow to muffle his whine at the loss of contact. Roman was warm and Logan’s blankets wouldn’t be warm for at least another ten minutes and Logan wanted to be warm now.

He was only able to bemoan the loss of warmth for a few seconds, however, before his sheets were being held up and warmth was pressing up against his side, Roman’s arms once more wrapping around him, this time to hold him close.

“Before you say anything,” Roman murmured, already resting his head against Logan’s shoulder, seemingly going from being awake to halfway asleep in seconds, “I know if you’re alone when you wake up, you’re just going right back to working. I’m here to prevent that.”

Logan turned his head so that he could place his chin on top of Roman’s head. “You can’t keep me from working forever.”

“Doesn’t have to be forever.” Roman responded, using his new position to lean up and kiss Logan’s chin. “Just long enough to watch every Disney movie I own. Now go to bed. ‘M tired, you’re tired, it’s sleep time.”

Logan didn’t say anything in response to that, opting instead to simply press closer to Roman and close his eyes. Despite the work he still knew was piled up on his desk, Logan found it hard to focus on it when he was more or less asleep and Roman was right beside him, warm and soft and already murmuring sleepy nonsense that Logan found endearing in its own way.

Maybe Roman was right. After all, Logan figured, a bit of a break (with Roman) couldn’t be that bad.

And with that happy thought in mind, Logan fully drifted off to sleep.

#logince #platonic logince #ambiguous logince #ts logan #ts roman #the cryptid speaks #fanfic #fanfiction #ts sides #sanders sides #this fic is so trope-y it makes me slightly upsetti #but also man everything i write is trope-y so like who cares anymore #anyways have fun with logince who can be platonic but always fight be tooth and nail not to be sdfncs #*me

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rnegitsune · 4 years

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Ok so I thought I'd put together some horror stories from my time as a babymetal fan bc of how drastic the shift in the fandom has been the past year or so. For context I got into babymetal in like june of 2014 (all 3 girls were still underage at the time, I was 22; when I first got into them I thought I would be considered an older fan lmao the naivete, the innocence of new fan me wow I know now I'm not at all in the older half of the fandom esp considering I was born the same decade as su and moa), and I made this blog in I think may of 2015.

I've had people say I should compile men being gross into a post and I just couldn't do that out of fear for my own mental health but this will be pretty close. These are all my experiences with this fandom over the years; I'm definitely missing some but what I do remember should do well to cover most of how this fandom used to be vs now. It's gonna be a lot and tw for men being gross about minors.

Back in my first year or so of this blog I on multiple occasions got dms from men asking to be friends. At the time my bio only said my name and my pronouns. I've always been cautious of dms so I'd ask their age and every single one was considerably older than me. I wouldn't usually answer after that bc no thanks but they would generally try to continue convos til I blocked. The only one I still had was this one

After I put my age in my bio, which was 23 at the time, I never got a dm like that again; take from that what you will. But if you're young please be wary of this hell fandom even now. And if you're an older fan and esp an older male fan reading this, don't dm people trying to be friends. I was over 18 and it still creeped me out to no end.

One of my real first men in this fandom are disgusting moments was a blog back in like 2015 or 2016 who I had some contact with due to common interests; he was a huge yui stan and made bm content. He was like 28 or 29 at the time and I eventually noticed he would tag idols, mostly kpop girls, by their body parts (legs, butt, etc) which is disgusting enough as it is but then I saw him do the same for literal minors, like tzuyu from twice. I messaged him asking what the hell he was doing objectifying women but also actual children and he blocked me lmao. He later unblocked me to let me know that's just how he tagged things and it was my fault he had anxiety and then he blocked me again.

Back before the tumblr purge this fandom was repulsive to a degree I cannot even begin to describe. Someone would reblog something from me, I'd go to their blog and it would be underage jpop idols and japanese p*rn all the way down. I even stumbled upon a man editing underage su into p*rn gifs. Obviously no proof of that but I did go find my initial reaction to it

The number of times I'd get a follow from someone then go to their blog and it would be as mentioned above or their bio would be the most misogynistic trash I'd ever read was staggering. I genuinely considered giving up and deleting this blog so many times bc i felt oberwhelmed and outnumbered by these gross old dudes; and so the fact that this fandom has evolved into a bunch of chaotic wlw?? Amazing, I could cry.

Fun phenomenon of women running bm blogs was men sending messages asking if we liked babymetal. No joke. I think this happened to me two or three times but I spoke w other female creators at the time and it had happened to them as well. My entire blog is babymetal, and yet???

He said the weird guy idk bc he sent some random ass messages vaguely insulting me and when I responded coldly, he acted confused so I said you're some guy idk, hence the above message starting as such. Also that pic and the one up above that has my current pfp bc I just took those screenshots. Like I said I typically blocked weird dms but I guess these passed me by so I still had the messages.

Most people know the sub reddit is the worst and don't need me to tell you but it's a hellscape and I highly recommend avoiding it. A short list of things I've had to see as a result of going there: men discussing at length kano and momoko's appearances and how they look in costume vs in normal clothes. Men discussing at length the hope that the girls would marry men who aren't Japanese, a thread that was from when all 3 girls were underage. They aren't gonna marry you dude they're really not.

The insulting of billie Eilish, a 17 year old at the time, was horrible too. Su and moa got to meet her, something they were extremely excited for, and they posted a pic; the comments were disgusting as you can imagine. The yui rumors were terrible too, fatshaming, slutshaming etc all based on nothing. Some man saying the rumors about yui leaving bc, no joke this was a real rumor, she "got too fat" couldn't be true bc "look at saya." Saya being a barely 18 yo back up dancer who covered the third spot after yui left but before the avengers. Not to mention the upskirt shots from when they were minors, the constant editing of their faces onto explicit photoshoots etc. I remember being a new fan looking for a su pic on google and being horrified at the fact that one of the top suggested results after her name was “bikini;” she was 16 at the time. Also, the uptick in massively creepy posts and messages sent to bm blogs as each girl, but esp moa and yui, approached 18 was disgusting.

Now for some personal nonsense. A big reason why I haven't touched my youtube channel in months is bc I got tired of dealing with the men of this fandom. I poke fun at metal and get told I deserve to die. I say ped*philes and creepy men are gross and get a swarm of middle aged men cursing at me. Had a guy cry about how men are shamed for liking bm and then he turned around and said some gross shit about wlw. Had a guy call me racist for liking a band he also likes (and despite him having no way of knowing my own race) and tell me the babymetal fandom doesn't need my kpop feminist bullshit, which is honestly a great description and I thought about putting it in my yt about lmao. Had a middle aged man unironically say he'd never seen a man be creepy towards bm but fans su and moa's ages calling them hot was creepy. The disillusionment....the level of unawareness is astounding. If you want to see screenshots of some of these comments they are fairly recent in my don't mind me tag; I don't want to see them anymore tho bc they're infuriating so I'm not going to look at them to post here.

Essentially I haven't looked at my channel since may bc men are exhausting and rude and refuse to examine the fandoms they're a part of no matter what. They're told by a woman of the fandom that she's had bad experiences personally and they all start crying about how it's either a lie bc they haven't seen it or unimportant. I did stop reading comments in may and I will never read another one again probably as a result of this shit. Trash men being trash are not worth my time and I refuse to give them anymore of it. I do plan on making more videos tho and let my ~feminist kpop bullshit~ live in their minds rent free.

I will also continue to make fun of metal and the creepy men in this fandom bc it's important and I'm a spiteful asshole who likes disrupting these dudes perfect bubble of a fandom. It genuinely brings me so much joy seeing all the new fans recently (which sidenote if you got into them recently I am kinda curious as to how you found them; I've gotten tons of new followers and considering how inactive they are rn I'm curious). People sending messages about how they finally feel like they belong or that they have a safe space....like I don't even know what to say and I never feel like my responses fully convey how genuinely wonderful that is and how thrilled I am that this is where we're at now and I have had at least some part in it. As this post shows, my experiences have been negative for the most part so the shift recently is such a relief I cannot even begin to explain my gratitude.

So to anyone who read all of this and hasn't disintegrated from the male bullshit, thank you. Keep being yourself and fighting for your place in this fandom, esp if you're a young woman; keep making fun of the creeps and keep making wlw memes!! Babymetal's music is in such a huge way meant for girls and to see more and more finding their way to this previously hellish beyond belief fandom is incredible.

#babymetal #don't mind me #this is long ok

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atinykidult · 4 years

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A War Against Your Personal Space — Jung Wooyoung

[prompt request] [1900 words] — spy!au, enemies to lovers, “Hold your fire!”/”Suck on that!”/”Shut up for a second, will you?”/”I don’t even know why we’re doing this.”

[content notes] [fluff] — There’s firearms, cussing, respectively dramatic/knowing Seongsang, endearingly annoying Wooyoung, competition, red cheeks, a lowkey cliche but satisfying(?) premise, etc., etc.

[a/n] — I’m so sorry if the lack of action is disappointing! I’m not great at it, so I focused on the recon/practice/snarky/non-fabulous aspects of the Spy!au. But there’s still plenty of aggression haha Thank you for reading! <3

Jung Wooyoung is a piece of shit.

That’s the only thing you can think as you continuously fire at the moving targets.

Bang, bang, bang!

Next to you, he’s doing the same.

(That is, firing at the targets. The shithead probably doesn’t even have thoughts in his head, and, therefore cannot be thinking.)

You’re doing well until you miss one target on your non-dominant side.

You aim more carefully and—

Bang!

Next to you, Wooyoung’s looking at you with an infuriatingly cocky smirk.

“You took my target!” you growl at him, angrily tearing off your ear protection.

He gives you a look. “And you missed!”

You let out a screech of anger, and without thinking do the one thing every firearm safety instructor says not to do:

You point your gun at your teammate.

His eyes are still sparkling with competition and mischief as he raises his hands. “Hold your fire,” he says almost lazily. (Your eyes keep getting drawn back to the damn smirk on his lips.)

Annoyance courses through you like a migraine.

Your hand’s itching to cock and fire.

Sadly, you would be in loads of trouble and job searching if you did.

So you drop the gun and walk away. Let him clean up.

You’re almost out the room when you hear him.

“I knew you wouldn’t! You love me way too much for that!”

“Asshole!”

Then you’re out of earshot, and Yeosang’s dry voice echoes over the intercom.

“You know, I wouldn’t have blamed them if they’d done it.”

“Hey!”

“It was their shot. And we both know they could have gotten it. You just wanted to show off.”

Your pride’s still smarting two days after the firing range incident because it was true you had missed.

But, still.

As you walk into work a few days later, everyone’s gathered around the whiteboard.

“Y/N! Congrats!”

With that, you know you’re employee of the month.

Yeosang’s smile is a little knowing as you join him in the center of the crowd.

There’s your name on the board, with the most votes collected.

“Your last case was really, really good!” someone comments.

Giving your thanks over your shoulder, you’re looking over who voted for you when you reach it.

The reason why Yeosang has that shit-eating grin on his face.

“It really was a pristine field mission,” a sugar sweet voice whispers in your ear. “So exquisitely done.”

You force your face to be emotionless. “Morning, asshole.”

“Morning, sore loser.”

(That’s been your nickname for the last two days.)

“But, very clearly, I’m the winner.” You nod to the board. “For the whole month. So suck on that!”

“Oh, yes. You’re welcome, by the way.”

Yeosang’s judgmental gaze reminds you that Wooyoung is still standing too close to you, that his warm breath is still fanning over your ear. That your cheeks are burning with anger.

Was he in a war against your personal space or something?

You storm out of the circle, trying to keep your blood pressure to a reasonable level.

When you’re sorting through files with Yeosang later that day, you’re ranting about Wooyoung.

Eventually, he must get fed up with it.

“I know something you don’t,” he singsongs, casually dropping a folder on your side of the desk.

His expression, for what feels like the millionth time this week, is annoyingly knowing. Like he’s watching a friend push the door that says pull.

Because he’s just that kind of person, you grouch to yourself.

“...And what would that be?”

He glances at the folder he just tossed down.

Snatching it up, you find a single page of infuriating news.

“I am not working with that infantile, ridiculous, shit-for-brains—”

“I see you got the memo, too.”

And, within eight seconds, three things happen:

Wooyoung and his damn smirk materialize next to your desk.

Yeosang and his faux sweet grin leave the space next to you.

And you lose your highly annoying but perfectly lovely filing-help to the utterly disappointing replacement of Jung Wooyoung.

The disappointing replacement leans back and throws an arm around you. “I’m looking forward to working with you, partner.”

You groan and shrug his arm off.

“Of course you both have to do it! We picked our two prettiest agents! For this level of case, you really should blend in after all.”

“Seonghwa, sir,” you seethe, “literally any other person in this whole building is prettier than Wooyoung.”

“Do you really believe that?”

Both men level a searching gaze at you. Seonghwa’s is more analytical, and you avoid it. But that means you end up staring at Wooyoung’s for a moment too long.

You both look away at the same time.

“Anyways.” You swallow. “You’re absolutely sure?”

“Y/N.” Seonghwa’s using his director’s voice; now you’re in for it. “You’re staking out the bars where all the pretty movie stars spend their evenings and get drunk, and find nice, also pretty companions for the night, and…”

You don’t know why you glance at Wooyoung when Seonghwa’s saying that. But you do.

You’re surprised to see him already looking at you.

“...So, yes, I’m sure you have to do it. And yes, I truly mean both of you.”

Realizing your cheeks are burning (a common theme recently), you stand abruptly. “Fine.”

Wooyoung has a triumphant grin on his face and copies you. “Fine!”

Seonghwa waits until you’ve both left his office when he texts Yeosang:

I did it T-T I convinced them they’re both prettier than me

u mean u took the first step at getting them past their rivalry?

At the cost of my self-esteem T-T

You spend the first four days doing research, where you try (and fail) to keep things peaceful by ignoring him.

Just email the link, even though he’s sitting next to you.

Just scribble down your thought on a sticky note.

Just ignore him when he bothers you.

Just! Ignore him! Especially when he bothers you.

“I’m telling you!” you finally shout. “If you actually read your contract you would have realized that your fucking lunch break—”

“Okay, okay!” he surrenders, grinning like he’s the one who won.

A few people look over at you, and as you realize this, you also realize how Wooyoung had propped against your side of the table in his ever-constant war against your personal space.

“Sit up and act like you’re a half-functional adult,” you snap.

“I’m not the one who shouted. But yes, ma’am.”

You bite your lip at the way her purrs the last words.

Don’t kill him, don’t kill him, don’t pull out the knife… you remind yourself.

So, it’s sad but true that some days you feel like you fail more than you succeed.

But you can’t be too angry when you realize at the end of day four:

“I can’t believe it. We have a whole case proposal — names, proofs, dates, everything,” you murmur, proudly scrolling down the document.

“All we’ll have to do is actually plan the operation and pick out our outfits,” Wooyoung agrees.

“Which is basically nothing since we have all of next week!”

“This is true.”

The euphoria a doing good work washes over you, and you can’t help but beam at him. “It should have taken way longer.”

"I know! We’re—” He snaps his mouth shut, shaking his head as though his words were unimportant.

To be honest, you feel fond of him as he just smiles softly. (He actually has a really nice smile, you notice.)

Then the moment passes, and you turn back to the computer.

(But he keeps looking at you.)

Wooyoung’s sitting down for lunch with Yeosang when the latter blurts: “You had stars in your eyes earlier. With Y/N.”

“You think I don’t know it?” he groans.

Yeosang pulls out his phone a few minutes later:

fuck i almost let it slip that we were watching them earlier but i dont think wy noticed bc hes oblivious as a rock

Only one hour after that, Wooyoung and you receive the worst possible news.

Which leads to you finding yourselves in an empty office at 11 that night.

“Fuuuu-uh-uuuuck,” groans Wooyoung.

You tiredly rub your eyes and kill all your tabs.

“My brain... is just… fuuuuck.”

Inclined to agree, you open a new window with slow, depressed typing.

“I can’t believe Seonghwa thought we could go in tomorrow. Tomorrow, Y/N! Why tomorrow?”

The screen doesn’t change for a good ten seconds. What were you even thinking again?

“I haven’t pulled a night this late ever! Besides field jobs obviously. But for those you’re doing something, and here we’re doing basically nothing, and I wish we were doing something—”

You draw circles on the screen with your mouse. What even were you thinking... it was a thought… it existed...

“And this is a form of abuse! I swear! If Yeosang somehow got Seonghwa to do this to us just because ‘you had stars in your eyes,’ I’m going to fucking—”

“Shut up for a second, will you?” you moan.

“...Make me.” His voice is sounds different from tiredness.

“Never heard that one before.”

“Please make me?”

There’s something in his tone that catches your attention.

When you give him an incredulous look, you find him looking at your lips. And you’re so exhausted you literally can’t process. (As you head home about fifteen minutes later, you start to process. And you realize you hadn’t hated it at all.)

“Let’s go home,” you suggest quietly. “I don’t even know why we’re doing this.”

(As you step inside your house, the rational side of you wonders what would have happened if you had stayed.)

At some point, he moves very close to you.

(He finally won his war against your personal space, you realize as you brush your teeth.)

Very close.

(Capping your lip balm container, you press your lips together and recall how his felt, pressed against yours. So softly, at least for your perception of Wooyoung. So skillfully, which does match your perception of him.)

His face is still close, but now he’s looking into your eyes.

(He has very pretty eyes; you picture them as you slip under your blankets.)

“Let’s go home,” you repeat breathlessly, “and deal with this all tomorrow.”

His hands, callused and controlled thanks to your profession, rest gently on your neck.

“Do you think all of this… All of this will work out?”

His voice is like starlight, wavering and hopeful and the sole brightness in the dark office.

“I think there’s a very good chance that this all will work out.”

(As your head hits the pillow, you look forward to the next day. Sure, Seonghwa’s going to throw a fit because you’re not ready for a case tomorrow. But you’re really looking forward to working everything out. Everything.)

[general ateez taglist] — @s1ardusk @seongghwaa (thank you so much for your sweet support/friendship! <3)

#jung wooyoung #ateez #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez fluff #ateez wooyoung #wooyoung imagines #wooyoung scenarios #wooyoung fluff #kpop #ateez x reader

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yaboylevi · 5 years

Note

hey vivi how are you? hopefully you’re doing good ! question in your personal opinion do you think that we stopped seeing eren’s caring side towards levi bc of what happened in RtS arc? do u think like in a way he resents? or feels betrayed by levi’s actions? i mean eren trusted levi kinda blindly i would say so maybe he felt a little deceived by levi ? anyways i’m just curious on ur thoughts on this, have a good day! :D

Okay hi, so…I got this question once in the past already and I decided to not reply for various reasons. I didn’t really feel like replying to this either, as you could guess by how long it took me to actually reply (I actually typed a full answer 3 times in these 2 months but deleted all of them aahh). But I have a question for y'all I would really love hearing an answer to: Is this a common interpretation/headcanon in the ereri fandom recently?

So, anyway… if they were real people experiencing such a development, based on MY feelings and how I’d react, I would say yes, it would be normal for Eren to have developed a sort of resentment once things calmed down a little and he thought back on how absolutely unfairly Levi treated him back then: he agreed to give Eren the serum only to take back the offer at the last moment; he basically told him to shut down his own feelings, dismissing them, when Levi himself couldn’t do the same; he lost his patience and punched him in the face with such strength that he made Eren lose half of his teeth. I understand why it happened: Levi is not emotionally mature at times, imo, and it was a charged development with important lives at stakes and they were all mentally and physically drained. But he didn’t even apologize.

Granted, no one apologized. However, Eren and Mikasa were made to feel responsible for everything that went down by a number of people (Hange, Floch, the other military in Paradis), and were punished for it. I don’t feel Levi held them responsible because I think at one point he realized he acted worse than them and also understood why they all behaved that way.

Either way, Levi never apologized, even though we could argue that Levi telling them to never regret their choice (as if they even had a say in the matter…) and ruffling their hair was a sort of double apology (i.e: I forgive you and I hope you can forgive me). If it was real life, it wouldn’t be enough, in my opinion.

So long story short, I would feel betrayed alright, if I were Eren. Because Eren has always believed Levi was the better man, someone he could count on to be fair and mature. Levi was none of those things during their altercation on the rooftop.

But if I were to look at the whole situation through the lenses of what is ACTUALLY portrayed in canon, I feel the answer to your questions is no, as it isn’t given the proper depth, for 3 reasons:

1. It seems like there were no grudges left amongst all of them. Especially in chapter 108, they all behave naturally, as they used to do before the timeskip, before the Shiganshina fiasco happened (Isayama would’ve shown it to us if it wasn’t the case). I feel there is tension only between Eren and Armin. Also, there aren’t many instances where the 104th need to rely on Levi’s mentorship as before because they aren’t at war, and international matters are in Hange’s hands so they all rely on Hange when searching for an opinion. But I would like to believe that, when Eren couldn’t see eye to eye with his friends, he consulted with Levi, because they often talked about “feelings” rather than “actions” (so it doesn’t matter if they’re at war or not in their case), they have very similar opinions and went through similar experiences in the past. But so far there’s nothing that supports this in the manga. There’s just that tiny panel of Levi saying that they’ll talk later, but I feel it was forgotten/unimportant. Anyway, no grudges mean they have all forgiven one another because they all understood the others’ actions in Serumbowl…or Isayama simply didn’t care about exploring such conflict amongst them because he had other, more important things he needed to tackle in the story, so he made all of them forgive each other off-screen, with no repercussion whatsoever on their relationships.

2. Eren and Levi barely interact during and post-timeskip, and what we see of their relationship is a shadow and/or a copy-paste of what has already happened in the past (Levi kicking Eren, Levi thinking back only to their first encounter as if everything that happened later on had no weight, Levi acting as Eren’s bodyguard, Levi thinking of Eren as hope). Nothing new, whereas Eren’s relationship with other characters has changed quite a bit.

If we consider it from Eren’s point of view, he stopped opening up to his friends after talking with Yelena, but before that, he was quite open about his opinions with both his friends and Hange and Levi. Levi, though, during these moments, felt distant, opinionless, almost like a background character. And it’s true, Eren kept secrets from his friends and comrades, but he was justified, considering the military’s and Hange’s treatment of Eren himself when it came to his titan’s powers. He always spoke his mind in every other instance. We don’t see Eren and Levi talking, because…I don’t know. But I don’t see resentment from Eren, nor from Levi. And Levi, oh, he should have a lot to talk about. Not only with Eren. With Mikasa, too, about their shared family. With Hange, about Erwin. But he’s just…there.

So the fact that two characters who used to share so much screen time together, who shared such a relationship where one of them used to guide the other, and the other used to open up to the mentor in private in the past, and who both used to play into the same themes of the story, now share close to no screentime, conversations, and themes, makes me think that it is either just to show Levi’s distance to their cause as a whole and Eren’s frustration with everyone in general, OR Isayama simply has no intention of keeping their relationship relevant anymore. And this last point brings me to number 3.

3. Isayama has dropped a significant amount of relationships or characters throughout the series, and sometimes it was very disappointing (Annie, Bertolt, Historia, Ymir, Mike come to mind). I didn’t think it could happen with the series’ most popular character and the protagonist, as they had consistent importance together throughout the whole series until the change of POV in the Marley arc (so for 80 chapters), but it may have as well happened for real.

With Levi dead or out of commission most probably until the end of the story - and so he will never meet with Eren again to have one of their usual talks - and with Eren in the middle of probably the last fight of the story where he will almost certainly die, I can see closure for Eren only in regards to his friends of the 104th. That’s also where the main focus of this whole arc has been. No closure for Levi re:most of his “bonds”. And again, in Eren’s memories in ch120, we see a shot of Levi from the Female Titan Arc, even though Eren and Levi had other relevant conversations down the road. Couple this with Levi’s flashback of an Eren from their first meeting in volume 2 (?), and I get the feeling Isayama has no intention of making them relevant to each other ever again. He decided to 1. make Levi’s character about revenge - and I’m curious to see what he will do with Levi, because he has already punished him for it so I’m waiting for a conclusion - and to emotionally separate him from the main cast, and 2. to make Eren a solo player who may have absorbed Levi’s teachings in (maybe) the wrong way, but his mentor won’t ever be there to confront him about it, because it’s not important as long as Armin, or someone else among the 104th, will act as Eren’s moral compass.

And it is kind of disappointing. It feels like wasted potential and abandoned character development. But I’m also biased about it.

–

tl;dr:

1. Eren has stopped talking to everyone in his group of friends after talking with Yelena. Levi is the one who feels the most distant in such group prior to that.

2. The fact that Eren hasn’t opened up to Levi about certain things could be: a. because we still haven’t been shown this (but I gave up on it, as new important memories were highlighted in ch120 and Levi’s not part of them); b. Eren doesn’t believe Levi has answers for him anymore or that his opinion is valid, as following the Serumbowl fiasco (but there is nothing that supports this in canon); c. Isayama just doesn’t feel their relationship is important to the story anymore.

3. My personal opinion is that Isayama just decided to take a different route with them singularly, in particular axing Levi’s character, and they will never be relevant to each other ever again.

#shingeki asks #don't know if I want to hear other ppl's opinions about it #but go on if you want to engage with this 'salty' analysis #it's not really salty #I'm just very disappointed and disillusioned #Anonymous #eren yeager #levi ackerman #oh and anon I'm good! busy as usual tho lol #hope you have a good day #snk spoilers

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unholydickweed · 4 years

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I've been dealing with abandonment issues for as long as I can remember. It's not the usual - you know, dad leaving mom to be a single parent kinda thing - but mostly because their presence was overly involved in things which i felt were unimportant. I don't know if my younger brother realized or just doesn't care enough or maybe he's dealing with this in another toxic way (maybe I'll get to this later on idk) but it has only left me with severe separation anxiety and led me to believe I can only ever be a social pariah, unloved and bothersome.

Funny story - I had a babysitter once, her name was, let's call her May, and after 5 years of being with me she suddenly up and left. I named every caretaker May after that because I was so attached.

I had this friend too, ok let's call him Jim (because now that i think of it he looked like a 7 y/o Jim Halpert, we were friends when we were that age) and he used to come by all the time to my neighbor's and we hung out almost everyday. Never came back after a certain Wednesday. I made a butterfly shaped card for him, i don't remember what i wrote, but i remember being torn when i found that he wasn't coming back soon, i cried and tore the card and threw it into the trash. That's the story of the first guy I ever liked, i don't really give him enough credit but I know he's one of the only people who reside in the good memories section of my childhood, given that I only have a few memories to begin with, of which most are sufficiently traumatic - I don't think about it all that often but when I do it's always him. I'm over him of course, but this will always remain a big part of me.

Fast forward to grade 1? My best friend at that time, T. She left too. I didn't have a clue where she went then and only found out years later she moved to another school and i know she didn't have a choice but why

Why couldn't she let me know? I would've understood. I think. I almost cried to mom that she hadn't been coming to school for a while. Mom gave me strawberries

So ofc i learnt to deal with sadness by overindulging in food.

Grade 1-5 i never had a constant friend circle because our sections always kept shuffling (probably why i have grown this serious tendency to meet new people all the time, and by that i mean just talk for like 3 or 4 day max and I'll forget about them, while simultaneously craving people to be attached to me so that I can be the one who leaves, and i don't know if that makes any sense but if it does, that should make me a low life hypocrite I'm sorry)

I had a bigass crush on one of the boys in our class in 6th grade. He was new, his roll was after mine and so he always had seats with me or behind me bc of our stupid (stupidly fortunate) arrangement thing. He was kind and funny and always partying always energised (and well right down my alley - jock tall defined features no beard haha old habits die hard). We weren't in the same class in 7th grade and i kinda lost touch with him because we couldn't interact as much anymore (save me lord i can't believe i used to be that shy), so I booked the window seat in my homeroom just so i could watch him play football during his P.E. classes and break times. One of my current best friends liked him too (lmao that's how we became friends in the first place, over him, just plain fascination, story for another day). And then he disappeared and i knocked him for the first time on facebook saying "you're leaving?" Never bothered to check what he had to say. Man, I was crushed. I promised myself i would never allow me to feel that again.

You must be thinking what could a 13 y/o know about love, but truth is the love you have when you're younger is of the purest form. Now it's just a bleak compilation of everything that never worked out.

In 2019, i completely cut off my friend of over four years because I'd liked him so much. He took everything I had to offer for granted at some point. It was a healthy choice on my part because he was getting too toxic. Different side to the story: I did the one thing he was so afraid of and told me about - leaving.

Started dating this dude (not right away, like knowing him for about 7 months?) and on the 3rd day I started ghosting him because intense emotions and those labels scared me shitless. He wasn't perfect but he was better than a lot. But what if he left one day? I couldn't deal with the thought of that.

I don't regret it at all though, for reasons that'll take up more reading time than intended so I'll go over it later maybe.

And then. Haha. The last person

Fucked me over

Thank you

I swear to god i am thiS close to calling him every single night but i just don't

#personal #unsent texts

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supergirlfics · 5 years

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Can you please write where R is dating Kara and she understand that she's Supergirl and she tries so hard to be supportive even tho it makes her feel like she isn't Kara's top 1 priority. So everytime Kar choose saving others instead of her it slowly makes her feel unimportant but she dont blame Kar at all bc she understand. But then Lena came and she made her feel important and happy. Slowly she fell inlove w/ Lena instead. Can you please make it very angsty? Pretty please?? Thank you!!

There she went again. Supergirl flying from the window as she cut your date short for the fourth time that week. Your heart couldn’t help but sink as you pursed your lips, slouching in your seat.

It’s not that it was exactly Kara’s fault. The city needed her. However, that didn’t stop you from feeling disappointed every time she left to save a burning building or stop the latest alien threat.

You wished Supergirl would just take a break and leave the hero work up to the police for once. The thought left a sinkhole of guilt in your soul, but you couldn’t help it. Her constant leaving always made you feel like you weren’t important to her.

It made you feel alone in the relationship.

With a sigh, you turned off Kara’s TV and headed for the door. The lights flickered off and the lock clicked behind you as you headed home.

When Kara’s name came up on your phone the next morning, you ignored the ringing. You weren’t in the mood to speak to her and you could always pretend you had your phone on silent. You were at work, after all.

Unfortunately, you weren’t able to avoid your girlfriend for long. It was only an hour later when she showed up at your office.

There was a knock on your office door and it opened to reveal Kara. “Hey,” she said. Her face was covered in concern. “Can we talk?”

“Come on in,” You motioned. You tried to hide the deep sigh, but it didn’t go unnoticed.

Kara brushed her hands over her shirt nervously. Despite your turmoil toward your girlfriend, you could never get over the fact that Supergirl, hero of National City, could get so anxious. Kara took a seat across from you as she fumbled with her glasses. “Where did you go last night? I thought we were going to finish our movie. I was worried about you.”

“You could have called last night,” You suggested. “Or you could have stayed home.”

“Y/N …” Kara said. “Is that what this is about? You’re mad that I had to leave?”

“No -” You started. “Okay, yes. Look, I know that you’re a superhero. I know you can’t just sit around while the city is in danger, but I just wish that for once, you could put everything on hold. We tried to have four dates this week and not a single one of them lasted over half an hour.”

“I know, and I am so sorry. Let me make it up to you. Please?”

“That’s just it, Kara. You’ve been trying to make it up to me for weeks. I don’t blame you for saving the city. It’s amazing and important. And so are you. People look up to you and trust you to help them. I just wish I could trust that you would be here when I need you.”

Kara looked away, twiddling her thumbs. “So what are you saying?”

You moved around your desk to kneel next to Kara. “I know what you’re thinking, and that is not at all where I’m at. I promise.”

“Then what place are you in?”

“I just - I want to know you’re making an effort. I love you, Kara Danvers. But every time you fly out that window, I can’t help but feel like I’m not as important as everything else in your life.”

“Whoa, hey,” Kara said, gripping your hands. “Don’t ever think that. I love you, too. You are the most important person in my life. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I just feel so guilty for making you feel so bad about yourself. I can do better.”

“You can’t just stop saving the city, Kara.”

Kara opened her mouth to speak, but couldn’t come up with anything to say, and closed it again.

“I know that I’m contradicting myself. I’m confused. I don’t know what to feel.” Tears had begun stinging your eyes.

Kara planted a kiss to the top of your head before pulling you into a tight hug. “We’ll work through this. Together.”

You couldn’t help but notice Lena the first time she appeared at game night. Kara had spoken very highly of her and you could see why. She was very kind - definitely a turnaround to the usual associations of the Luthor name. Not to mention her intelligence. Lena, you decided, was a wonderful addition to the group.

The two of you quickly became good friends. You looked forward to seeing her every week. And before long, you even started hanging out outside of game night.

You and Kara had been working on your problems. She’d really been trying hard not to ditch you so much, but that wasn’t always possible. She kept you safe, she kept the city safe, and that, you decided, was probably all you could ask for. Your life, you figured, would always be that way.

So when Kara had to run out just as you were about to meet her for dinner, you forced yourself not to cry as you sat alone.

It was your anniversary.

You were supposed to have a romantic night. But Kara couldn’t even put the cape on hold for that. You had been looking forward to it for ages. She had promised not to let anything come between this night. But the promise was broken. And so was your heart.

Then you saw Lena. She strode into the restaurant alone. Probably to meet someone. However, when she saw you, clutching your phone a little too tightly as you told the waiter your date would be there soon for the fourth time, she didn’t hesitate to move to your side.

“Hey, Y/N,” Lena said. “What’s going on? Shouldn’t Kara be here? It’s your anniversary, isn’t it?”

“Lena, hi,” You said. “Yeah, it is. One year together. But she had a - um - a job and I don’t think she’s coming. I should just - I should go.”

“Wait,” Lena said. “You shouldn’t be alone. Do you mind if I join you?”

“Go ahead.” You were so grateful for Lena. This may have been the worst anniversary in the world, but at least someone was there for you.

Lena took a seat across from you. Admittedly, it felt kind of awkward. The table was set with floating candles and a small bouquet of roses. “She stood you up for a news story?” A look of annoyance - no, anger - flashed across Lena’s face. “I’m so sorry.”

“It was important. I get it. The world doesn’t wait.”

“Yes it can.”

You wished you could explain the situation to Lena, but she had no idea who Kara really was.

“It’s not as if she’s saving lives. She’s writing a report. I am very fond of Kara, but why do you continue to defend her when she stands you up or runs out on you? It seems to happen a lot.”

“She’s just - she’s busy,” You said, but you faltered. Lena had just voiced your very concerns. Despite her efforts, Kara hand’t really gotten any better. After all, if it weren’t for Lena, you would be all alone on your anniversary.

“She showed,” the waiter said. He appeared so suddenly at your table that you jumped. “You must be a very lucky lady to have a girlfriend willing to wait so long. What can I get started for you two?”

“Oh, no. We’re -”

“I am,” Lena said. Her hand jumped across the table to grab yours. She gave you an earnest look, silently begging you to go along with it.

After the waiter left with your order, you stared, dumbstruck, at your friend. You tried several times to form a sentence, but no words came out.

“You didn’t need the embarrassment,” Lena said simply. “It’s been a tough enough night. I hope that was all right?”

“Y - yeah,” You stammered. “Thank you.”

“How long, exactly, had you been waiting for Kara?”

“A little over an hour. Sixty - seven minutes.”

“You counted the minutes?”

“I know. It’s pathetic.”

“Not at all. Actually, had I been Kara, I would see it as quite endearing.”

Your anniversary dinner may not have been what you expected - it may not have even included the person whose anniversary you shared - but it was amazing. You and Lena talked for hours, catching up since your last meeting, speaking about work. You hadn’t realized until then just how freakishly smart Lena was. Most everything she spoke about in relation to L-Corp went straight over your head, but she was so passionate that you held on to every word, even after she finally noticed the more than slightly confused look on your face and apologized.

“No, go on. It’s important to you, which means it’s important to me.”

You thought you saw the traces of a blush cross her cheeks as she dove back into the monologue. But you dismissed it as nothing more than a trick of the light.

You were with Kara. Not Lena.

“Thank you very much,” You said as you exited the restaurant a few hours later. “It means a lot.”

“Of course,” Lena said. “Did you drive? I can take you home.”

“I drove, but thank you. You weren’t coming to meet anybody, were you?” You realized you had been so wrapped up in your disappointment, you hadn’t stopped to think that perhaps there was somebody Lena had disappointed when she chose to join you.

“No. I came for a night to myself. But I’m very glad I saw you, so don’t get the wrong idea. Are you going to be okay?”

“I will.”

“Text me when you get home,” Lena said. She wrapped you in a hug before striding away toward her car.

The drive home was a mess of conflicting emotions. Lena had been so kind and generous. She even insisted of paying the tab until you finally relented and allowed her. She was so kind. She had gone out of her way to make sure you were okay, changed her plans for you.

The way her eyes lit up when she saw you. And that smile - that beautiful, intoxicating smile. Not to mention the laugh. The laugh that sent chills up your spine.

No. You couldn’t think that way. You were with Kara. You loved Kara. Lena was just a friend. A good friend and nothing more. But maybe … No. No way. You weren’t developing feelings for Lena. You couldn’t.

You hadn’t expected Kara to be at your apartment when you arrived home. She stood ready with a bouquet of flowers and a very sorry expression. When you opened the door to see her standing there, you were at a loss for words.

“Hey,” Kara said. “I am so sorry I missed dinner. I know I promised nothing would pull me away tonight and then it did. I feel terrible. These are for you.”

“Thank you.” You hesitated before taking the flowers. “I’ll - uh - I’ll put them in some water.”

You set the bouquet down on the counter, but before you could grab a vase, Kara’s arms wrapped around you. “Movie night? I picked up donuts and ice cream.”

You spun around in her arms, looking up at your girlfriend with tears in your eyes. “I … can’t, Kara. I’m sorry. But I’m tired. I just want to go to bed.”

Kara physically deflated. “Okay. I understand. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Sounds good.”

Kara kissed you, but for probably the first time, you felt almost nothing as your lips connected. You were upset, confused, and you needed time to sort our your feelings. Time away from Kara. You rubbed your neck as the door closed behind her. You didn’t think it was possible, but you somehow felt more alone than you had when you realized Kara wouldn’t make it to dinner.

#Supergirl #Supergirl Fics #Supergirlfics #Supergirlimagine #Supergirl Imagines #Supergirl Imagine #Kara Danvers #Lena Luthor #Kara x Reader #Lena x Reader

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glowstickhaloboy · 5 years

Text

i’ve committed to my format with raphael!crowley and i’ll die with it, too. AND IM SORRY ITS SO LONG.

(also the show uses he/him pronouns for michael, i believe, and i’ve chosen to do so as well bc i think its neat)

((ALSO, if you have no idea what the context is for this post, its a semi-continuation of this series))

sometimes, there is a gap. gabriel will turn to express a half-thought, and find himself wondering who he meant to speak with. there’s no one there.

three facts have remained for six thousand years: the first maintains that a brother is a brother. the second that a traitor is a traitor. and the third fact concludes that only one of those things may become the other. there is no place for traitors in heaven. and there is no merit in dwelling on thoughts of what is no longer possible.

gabriel likes efficiency--advancements that break no mould. he is the safest bet in any given room. protocol and principles, that’s what he’s made of, and he sticks to them rigidly because it’s... easy. easy as a miracle from the human’s point of view. to break ranks is to break through the mission statement of heaven into a gray area, and the walls upstairs are always freshly painted white. gabriel makes sure of it.

michael likes results. there is nothing more beautiful than a bottom line. bottom line: the world ends. bottom line: the angels win. bottom line: god no longer does the heavy lifting the way angels do, and so what the angel’s do in god’s absence is not to be held against them. they were, after all, stepping into a job they were not qualified to handle with little to no notice. a bottom line is beautiful because it makes simple a messy world.

bottom line: there is mess. bottom line: angels remove the mess.

bottom line: raphael would have complicated that.

no, michael does not miss his fallen sibling. and he refuses to talk about it. and he makes sure that gabriel does not talk about it, either. after all, what is there to talk about? what’s done is done, and they’ve got their hands full juggling someone else’s job, but if they don’t do it, then it isn’t done, and the world ends the bad way. where no one wins because they’re all dead.

gabriel is the leader. michael is the strategist. between them, they can scrounge enough brain power together to cover for raphael, who was meant to be the creative one.

too creative. creative enough to start... asking questions.

too feeling, always too feeling. “passionate” they used to call him. but then what happened, happened, and “passionate” became a roadside cliff in need of a guard rail. michael and gabriel were that guard rail. their fallen sibling was a cautionary tale.

the thing about falling is that sometimes you see it coming, and sometimes it blindsides you. lucifer’s was not a slippery slope, but a gradual and palpable decline. for years before, whenever he’d walk out of a room, the angels left inside would put their heads together and mutter about what’s the almighty going to do about that one. raphael’s, on the other hand, was blink-and-you-miss-it. he was here one day, gone the next. there wasn’t even the time to think about whether you wanted to say goodbye.

(if he decided to be a traitor, after all, then you needn’t regard him as a brother.)

and time went on. despite the shock, the world kept turning, and the stars kept burning, and nobody said raphael’s name. not for six thousand years.

it was hard to keep up with new demons. bad enough having to encourage every baby-faced cherub day-to-day (but not too hard, otherwise they ran the risk of becoming “passionate.” passionate didn’t matter. just loyalty. loyalty keeps heaven heaven.) the first time gabriel hears the name “crowley” he thinks nothing of it.

“a demon?” he asks sandalphon. “check and see who’s available, sort of... low and on the same level. no need to exert the effort of someone actually important on a simple demon.”

sandalphon agrees easily and makes to depart, but gabriel sticks up a hand, thoughtful. hold on.

“aziraphale,” he says. “he’s on earth, isn’t he? have him take care of it. perfect busy work for someone so eager to please.”

sandalphon smiles gold.

meanwhile, michael? michael doesn’t even remember. deleted the name from his mind the second it first entered. unimportant. bottom line: demon.

but after the armageddon that never was, the name finally sticks. and no matter what michael might have said at that demon’s trial, there is nothing more dangerous than an unchecked enemy. he keeps an eye out. and for awhile, there’s nothing out of the ordinary. just a never-was-an-angel and a soon-to-be-demon spending too much time together on a planet that was never theirs.

bottom line: ?

so michael goes to gabriel for help.

“i need to understand what happened between these two,” he says. “make some sense of it. find out how dangerous they really are.”

and gabriel turns to the left, and frowns in thought, like he is surprised to find no one there.

“gabriel?”

“it’s nothing. just a passing... are you sure there is cause for concern? they’re two outcasts. nothing more. no threat to us.”

“i would like to... speak with them.”

“then speak we shall.”

they arrive on earth. it is easy to find aziraphale because he never left the bookshop.

“hold on,” gabriel cautions as they approach the door. the sign says closed. there’s an intimidation as hot as hellfire emanating from it.

“do not let them see your cowardice,” michael chides, and pushes through. bottom line: answers are needed.

the door creaks and cuts off two voices. and two figures appear.

“oh!” says crowley, glancing sideways at aziraphale. “look at that. the gang’s all here.”

aziraphale looks momentarily stunned, which only makes michael’s brain fight harder to understand. he pushes forward.

“crowley. aziraphale.”

aziraphale bristles. “i do believe the sign said closed.”

“we are not here to indulge your human fantasy. we have come to--”

“ask for the towel back?” crowley interrupts. “no good. it’s long gone. i’ll pay for another one. do you take updog currency?”

“what’s updog?” gabriel asks.

“nothing, but i do deserve a high five for that one.”

“not now, dear,” aziraphale whispers to him.

crowley squares his shoulders, glaring through the two archangels. “right, straight to business then. we don’t care why you came. leave now, and we might let you go alive.”

aziraphale begins to react in astonishment, but michael and gabriel beat him to it.

“you should not threaten angels so easily,” gabriel says.

“i’ll do what i want,” says crowley. “fair’s fair, right? i’m just dishing it out as good as i get. doing as you do.”

“crowley,” aziraphale protests.

“where do you get the nerve?” michael all but growls.

“oh, probably from my time in heaven.”

if anyone else in the room were the snake, there would have been hissing. “don’t invoke that holy place,” gabriel says.

“you lost the privilege,” says michael.

“geez!” crowley throws up his hands. “if i didn’t know any better, i’d say this was personal! come on, are we going to forget the past that easily?”

“you have no past.”

“you are forgotten.”

“you’d think we three grew up with me hogging the telly, eh?” crowley asks aziraphale, the same way a zookeeper teaching schoolchildren might ask an obvious question to a turtle.

and michael and gabriel are blindsided.

“oh.” crowley tilts his head. “you really didn’t know. funny, that. almost.”

“it can’t be,” says gabriel.

“impossible,” says michael.

“hello,” says crowley, twirling five fingers, and then settling on showing them just one.

“demon,” says michael.

“oh, yes!” says crowley.

“but also,” says gabriel.

“oh yes...” crowley finishes.

he’s scowling now. darker. his anger crackles into lightning on the street outside, and black wings unfurl like looming shadows. michael and gabriel stare at them as though trying to discern something underneath. an origin to the stain, or a clean patch.

michael blinks first. bottom line: demon. he says, “you will not expect any special treatment from us.”

crowley shakes his head. “i was never special.”

(it may be that gabriel flinches at that. too long ago. too hard to tell.)

aziraphale, certainly, makes a noise at the back of his throat, but crowley shakes his head the slightest amount. an indication to let him handle this.

“you just can’t quit betraying your side, can you?” michael asks. “what did you hope to achieve? you are an abomination. you were cast out for a reason. and you will never be allowed back in.”

gabriel double-takes, but still says nothing. he looks like a man found on the side of the road with no memory of how he got there. lost. confused. aged.

“i don’t want that,” crowley says. “i’m better than that, now.”

“better than heaven? blasphemy,” michael chides.

“demon,” crowley replies.

and gabriel can no longer keep silent.

“you let me speak with you at the human airbase,” he says, agitated, his purple eyes glowing slightly. is he needing to keep his emotions at bay? what could he possibly feel for crowley? surely they were no longer each other’s kin. “we looked each other in the eyes, raphael.”

“crowley,” crowley and michael correct him at the same time.

gabriel looks appropriate aghast at himself. “crowley,” he amends, and then continues, “this is--i mean, you were--you are--this is just evidence of how far one may fall.”

“funny, i was about to say the same to you.”

“you have no authority to judge us!” michael says, seething. “do not forget your place. if you are not an angel now, you never were. not at heart. not truly. give me one good reason not to smite you where you stand.”

aziraphale steps in front of crowley, chin raised high, and says immediately, “i won’t let you.”

“angel, pl--”

crowley puts a gentle hand on aziraphale’s shoulder, but even that, aziraphale shrugs off.

“gabriel,” he says. “perhaps you can understand this. crowley has changed, yes. he is no longer an angel.”

“he doesn’t feel love the way we do,” michael interjects, and crowley’s head pokes out from behind aziraphale.

“when’s the last time you had a warm, fuzzy feeling, then?”

“michael, i believe i must depart,” gabriel says softly. he still looks like he’s been stranded inside a life that he does not call his.

michael says, “yes, do.”

and gabriel disappears.

aziraphale sighs and steps back at crowley’s side, holding crowley’s wrist tightly. crowley takes the hand and squeezes back.

“guess some people just can’t take the heat,” aziraphale mutters.

crowley shrugs. “well, you know what they say. if you can’t take the heat, stay out of the boiling sulphur pools. maybe he did what’s right by him. maybe seeing me just scared him a little too badly.”

“angels fear nothing,” says michael, even as his eyes hint toward something different. his jaw works. he takes a moment to control himself and then asks, “is this how you were able to withstand the holy water?”

aziraphale quietly snorts. crowley squeezes his hand again, this time in warning, and says, “you didn’t really think i was going to answer that one, did you? and might i remind you that all i asked that day was to be left alone.”

“you may think you still belong in this world,” says michael, shaking his head and glaring at their conjoined hands, “but you do not. and aziraphale, one day you will pay dearly for your choices. fear the future. for when that day comes, you, too, will be erased from heaven. anditcan’tcometoosoon.”

the breath rushes out of him, and michael, too, is gone.

the bookshop stands sturdy and proud. crowley swings up his and aziraphale’s hands, kissing the back of aziraphale’s, and loudly declares, “well, that was dramatic. weren’t we going to go and look at a cottage this afternoon, love?”

#ineffable husbands #ineffable boyfriends #crowley x aziraphale #aziraphale x crowley #crowley #aziraphale #good omens #crowley as raphael #crowley and aziraphale talking in the bookshop is also definitely them giggling between making out with each other #they were RUDELY interrupted #gabriel #michael #fic #fanfic #i dont know if this counts as part 5 but??? here it is

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