#+ i don't like shopping with other people
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Don't know
Summary: Y/N meets Spencer and you two see each other for a few months without discussing what either of you do for work and when it comes out both of you are shocked.
You were sat across from spencer at a coffee shop in Las Vegas as it happens to be where both of you were at that time. You had met him a few months back and thinking about that moment made you smile.
Flashback:
You were enjoying one of your morning runs as that’s how you liked to start your day, it felt like after a run your head was clear and the day flowed more smoothly.
“On your left” you called out going to run past a man in front of you but instead of running past him he turned around and before you could stop you ran straight into him. Spilling his coffee all over him and yourself.
“Shit that’s hot” you said as you pulled our shirt away from your skin where the coffee was burning.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t think clearly” the voice said and you were about to cuss them out but when you looked up and you saw the tall nerdy looking guy you couldn’t yell at him because of the look in his eyes.
“It’s okay it happens” you said and watched as he fumbled to get his bag off of his shoulder and he looked around to set it down.
“Here let me” you said and grabbed his brown shoulder bag from him. He smiled in gratitude as he walked to throw the coffee cup away and tried to dry the wet coffee with the napkin, rubbing at his shirt.
“I guess you need a new coffee?” you asked and he looked sad that he had to go get a new one and you felt bad as he looked like a kicked puppy.
“Yeah I guess I'll have to go back a few blocks and get another” he replied and you finally looked over him.
Brown hair, slightly curly. Glasses on his face with a sweater unbuttoned over a dress shirt and slacks along with converse on his feet. Computer nerd for sure you thought to yourself.
“Well there is actually a little coffee shop up ahead if you would let me show you?” you said and he watched as he thought it over and then nodded.
“I didn’t know there was one up ahead, usually I know all of them” he said and you hummed as you knew it was a small local one, hidden behind a small shop.
“Yeah it’s a local small one but it doesn’t get that busy so no lines and it's nice and quiet” you said and led the way. The both of you walked in silence and it wasn’t uncomfortable, it felt easy and calm which you had to admit was nice.
Walking into the shop you smiled at the owner and put your order in and waited for the new acquaintance to order his own.
“Sorry I'm Y/N, sometimes I forget manners” you said and stuck your hand out for him to shake but he looked down at it and seemed to waver.
“Spencer and sorry I don’t shake hands it’s a germ thing” he said and you quirked your eyebrow at him, definitely computer nerd.
You accepted his explanation nonetheless and grabbed your coffee as he grabbed his own, you both headed outside and said your farewells as he was late for work.
A few days later you went to the coffee shop around lunch time, hungry after your workout and was surprised to see Spencer there. “Don’t go telling people about this place, I like not standing in a line” you joked and saw him smile as he realized it was you.
“I won't tell a soul” he said and you smiled. You walked over to the counter to order a coffee and a sandwich and looked over to Spencer.
He was sitting alone at his table reading a book, you laughed softly and rolled your eyes. “Do you mind if I sit?” you asked and spencer looked up and nodded putting his book down.
“No you don’t have to put your book down” you said and Spencer blushed “I’ve read it a few times already so it’s fine” he replied and you nodded and noticed his glasses were missing today.
“No glasses today?” you asked and took a sip of your coffee. “No I got contact lenses, glasses sometimes are a struggle with work” he said and you wondered how glasses could be a hassle for a computer nerd.
“So how many times do you read one book Spencer?” you asked curiously and watched the faint blush cover his cheeks again. “It depends if I like it, I do read it about once a week” he said and you smiled imagining his home was filled with books.
Just then his phone rang and he said he had to urgently go to work. You looked down and felt the courage hit you. “Can I give you my number and we meet up sometime?” you asked and saw Spencer fumble for words.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to Spencer” you said to give him an out but he sighed “I travel a lot for work, so I don’t want to make a date and then not show up” he said sheepishly and you understood.
“Hey I travel a lot for work as well, so I get it” you said back to him and grabbed your napkin and wrote your number down.
“Here, for whenever you are back in town” you said and handed him the napkin with your number on it. He smiled and said he will definitely make plans and rushed off.
You sat back and started eating lunch when you noticed Spencer had forgotten his book on the table, reaching over you looked at the worn cover and decided to see what the book was about.
It was a very interesting book about human behaviour and you couldn’t put it down. Lunch was finished and you were on your second coffee when your phoned dinged and saw an unknown number.
‘Hi Y/N, it’s Spencer. I forgot my book there, any chance you can just hold on to it for me?’ the text read and you replied that you already grabbed it and would give it to him when you saw him again.
That’s how the next few months went by, you and Spencer would text each other and meet up from time to time. You learned that he was in fact a genius and loved to read as well as being addicted to coffee. Both of you never really spoke about work besides the traveling but neither one of you seemed to want to talk about what the other did and you were fine with it.
Usually the moment a guy found out what you did for a living they would either be put off and never contact you again or would try to be over masculine and make a fool of themselves, putting you off.
But with Spencer it felt easy not to talk about it as there were lots of different topics covered.
The two of you became close friends and would either meet up for coffee or go get dinner. Over the few months you could feel something inside of you grow for Spencer but you didn’t know how to approach it as he still had no clue what you did for a living and you were sure if you mentioned it he would be running for the hills.
You planned a whole speech to explain to Spencer that why you traveled so much and sometimes couldn’t see him was because you were actually a professional cage fighter. Often you had bruises that you couldn’t explain and didn’t want him seeing you bruised up and thinking the wrong thing, which is why you decided to tell him in person while you were in Las Vegas for a fight which you had won the previous night but you had a nasty cut on your cheek which was stitched up.
You waited for Spencer to arrive at the restaurant and you picked a table on the outside to get a fresh breeze in the hot humid night.
“Sorry I’m late, things were a bit hectic” Spencer said as he sat down and you smiled fondly as he tried to straighten his shirt and then his hair.
“Oh Y/N what happened?” Spencer asked worriedly as he noticed your cheek and you looked down in embarrassment. “I can explain Spence” you said and he grabbed your hand quickly and it made your heartbeat speed up.
“Is it your boyfriend? Please I can help you, I promise we can deal with him and get you away” Spencer said and you frowned at the ‘we’. “No it’s nothing like that Spence” you said and took a breath to explain to him what you did for a living but was stopped as a man with a teenage boy approached you.
“Wild force? Sorry but my son wanted to ask if he can have a photo with you?” the man said and you internally cursed. Putting on a smile you nodded and posed for a photo with the boy and then with the dad as well and grimaced as he put his arm around your waist, holding a bit too close to your breast.
“Thank you, we are such big fans and we were rooting for you the whole night” the dad said and you thanked them and waved them off.
“Spencer I can explain” you said and looked over at Spencer to see him completely confused. “Yes that would be helpful” he said and you sighed ready to lose the one friend that you were developing feelings for.
“Okay so the truth is…” “Spencer?” a voice interrupted you and you groaned at another interruption but looked to see a blonde girl in a colorful attire next to a fit looking man walking over and realized they had called Spencer’s name and not yours.
“Hey we tried phoning you to see if you wanted to join us for drinks” the man said and you smiled sheepishly at the woman.
“Derek, he’s on a date” she said and jabbed the man in the ribs with her elbow. And then the man looked over at you and you saw the moment that he realized who you were.
“Spencer my man, is this the woman you have been talking about? I don’t believe it, wild force in the flesh” he said and you blushed as Spencer looked at you waiting for an explanation.
“I’m Derek and this is Penelope, now please I need to know how your fight went last night as we were busy with a case and I lost my tickets due to timing” he said and you smiled softly.
“I won, not without a few hits but I won” you said and Morgan cheered as he threw his hand in the air.
“Wait what fight?” Spencer asked and you breathed out a big sigh as the way you wanted to tell him was clearly ruined.
“Pretty boy I'm talking about the big fight last night I was planning on seeing with Emily last night but the unsub took longer to catch” Derek said and it was your turn to look confused.
Unsub? Case? You’ve read about these words in a few books from spencer’s home. That was FBI terminology.
“Wait are you FBI?”
“Are you a MMA fighter?”
Both you and Spencer asked at the same time and then it was deathly quiet. “Shit you guys don’t know what the other does for work?” Morgan asked and Penelope hissed something to him and he looked embarrassed.
“Sorry pretty boy, we will catch up later. Good to meet you” Derek said and the two of them walked off leaving you and Spencer alone.
“So FBI?” you said trying to break the silence and see if spencer would want noting to do with you now.
“Yeah I’m with the BAU, but I think I need some clearance as to how Morgan knows about what you do and I don’t” he said and you nodded and fidgeted with your hands.
“I’m sorry Spencer, I usually don’t tell guys I’m seeing for a while because they are either intimidated or can’t believe in what I do cause it’s not something for a woman to do. But I would understand if you don’t want to see me again” I explained and waited for him to get up and leave but was very surprised when he grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze.
“I’m not going to run away, it’s a shock yes but it doesn’t change the way I feel about you. I’ve gotten to know you and I know you…not wild force. Even though I wouldn’t mind getting to know her as well” Spencer said and you looked up to lock your own eyes onto his.
“Spencer I don’t know what to say, I was planning on telling you tonight because I don’t want secretes between us but it didn’t really go the way I planned” you said and laughed at the end.
“Hey I didn’t tell you about be being in the BAU, just means we have more to learn” he said and you smiled at him and gave his hand a squeeze. Thankful that he understood and realizing you were silly to not have told him sooner. Spencer was always kind and understanding.
“So wild force? I have to know how you got that name” Spencer said and you laughed out loud thinking of the story of how you got it.
“Soon I’ll tell you, but first can we call this an official date and not a meet up of friends?” you asked and were relieved as Spencer smiled at you and laced his fingers through your own.
“Only if I get to kiss you at the end of the date” Spencer said and you felt yourself blushing.
“Deal” you replied and went on to tell him the funny story about your ring name.
#reader insert#x reader#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x y/n#derek morgan#mmafighter/reader
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familiar / haitani rindou
Haitani Rindou turns 32, gets married, and he silently wonders why people are so nice to him now.
the old retired ladies promoting milk powders and selling fresh fruits in the grocery store rushes up to him at any chance they get. one time when browsing for milk formulas one of them had tapped him on the shoulder, pointed at a brand she was not promoting for but thought was amazing when her own grandchild had tried it, and then placed a bunch of other stuff in his cart that she thinks his wife would need. an example would be containers of freshly cut mixed fruits that her colleague had just prepared. you remember him telling you that her tone was a lot more different than the average grocery store promoter trying to sell you a product ー it was almost as if she was talking to her own son.
when shopping for flowers just like he does every Sunday suddenly the part-timer who is usually silent, does her job and only responds to customers' needs had stepped up to him and pointed out a few selections that she believes are lovely for expecting parents. she was even smiling when doing so. and you remember he came home to you that day with two bouquets of fresh flowers ー chrysanthemum and baby's breath ー one in each hand.
today when taking you out for dinner in the local family-owned restaurant the daughter had served you a warm bowl of beef bone soup. neither of you had ordered it for yourselves, and you were about to tell her that, but her mother speaks before you can. "drink it, love. the soup is good for you." she yells a little from where she sits at the cashier with a grin. when Rindou stands to pay after finishing up her husband then refuses to take your bill for the night. "it's okay, son. dinner's on the house this time." he pats his shoulder and pushes you both out the door. "take care, you two. the next time you come i'll cook tofu for you, alright?" it was directed to you and you'd laughed, a little embarrassed but feeling warm and fuzzy nonetheless.
and now you are listening to your own husband ramble on and on about his new mysteries while he massages your feet on the couch.
"i seriously don't get it. i've been going to these places for years now and they were never this nice to us. i mean, they are nice, but never this nice, you know? it's the first time we've ever gotten a free meal from Kobayashi's."
we. us.
you brush his hair back, admiring the light wrinkles that have started to form on his skin. "that's exactly it, don't you think?" you bring it up and he hums in confusion.
"perhaps the reason why they've been so nice lately is exactly because you've been going to these places for years now. they know you."
"huh?"
"if you think about it, they've watched you go from an ordinary man to a husband, then a father. watched you bring a girl they've never seen before to these places more often and suddenly we go together all the time, you have a ring on your finger and i am pregnant. perhaps it is why. a sense of familiarity, maybe?"
Rindou looks at you as if you are love and warmth and everything pink and red and blue and purple and-
you are right, actually. you'd went from a girl he met at a bar to becoming the love of his life, the woman who is now carrying the love you both share. and the ladies at the grocery store, the Kobayashi's, the part timer who's been around even after graduating university years ago? they've all watched him grow.
when Rindou was 17 and had gotten ambushed by a rival gang alone, it was madam Kobayashi who'd ushered him into their store way past the last call and offered to cook him a nice meal, had her medical student son patch him up, her husband to chase away the remaining guys who were waiting for Rindou to come back out. her daughter had been about Rindou's age then, hiding behind the cashier and watching as he ate in silence with a cut to his lip, another on his eyebrow. (to this day still no one except for you, her, and him, knows that the reason he'd gotten ambushed that day was because he'd stood up for miss Kobayashi when she was getting bullied by one of the delinquents. she still thanks him for what he'd done whenever you both finish up your meal and get ready to leave.) Rindou was 17 when he'd first discovered what it was like to care for people; to be a human before anything else.
the two ladies from the grocery store wasn't yet retired and working this job back then. the promoter lady used to be the janitor who was working in the office building of his first job. she'd watched him gone through periods of unknowing, confusion, stress, to become a solid man of status today. the lady who is selling fruits used to work as a professional tutor and had been the one to tutor Rindou and his brother on Mathematics. although she is mute and can't respond in words when her students have confusing questions to ask, the brothers still thought of her as a good teacher because of the way she taught, which is why they'd stuck around and refused to switch teachers despite their parents' disapproval. because she is mute, she can only count on her colleague to dump containers of freshly cut fruits into his cart while motioning for her to tell him things that she actually wants to say to him whenever he visits the store.
the part timer at the florist is a lot younger than he is, but she have been working there for a very long time. watched him when he was still an inexperienced bachelor pacing around the store wondering which flower would be good on a first date to buying the same flowers every Sunday because you'd liked the lilies that she recommended.
it'd be heartwarming for anyone to see the boy you watch grow around love, into love, finding love, to marrying her and becoming a father.
"...yeah. maybe."
#寫作#rindou x reader#rindou haitani x reader#haitani rindou x reader#rindou haitani#haitani rindou#tokyo revengers#tokrev#tokyo revengers x reader#tokyo rev x reader#tokrev x reader#tr x reader#tokyo revengers fluff
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as promised, here's a lil expansion on the body mod shop idea that's now a series lol
Piercer Noah x apprentice reader <3
*NSFW below the cut, MDNI*
cw: same as nick there's a lil age gap between you guys (legal, don't be fucking gross), oral fixation, needles (he's a piercer ok), praise, soft dom Noah, glove kink if u squint, raw sex (wrap it b4 u tap it), much less toxic than the tattoo fic but still could technically be a toxic relationship due to the nature, nipple play, size kink if u squint harder, subspace moments
♡ to keep things relatively simple js gonna bounce off the same idea from the nicholas post. You're the shop owners daughter in this case. Noah had absolutely no problem apprenticing you, in fact he was honored because he was relatively new to the scene compared to other people at the shop and felt pretty proud that he was viewed as someone talented enough to learn from.
♡ he tries to not be an asshole, but can be kinda short if he's rlly busy and needs you multitasking. He always apologizes afterwards though if he's had an attitude with you cause he's a fucking sweetheart I need him so baD
♡ literally so fucking easy to be around, he thanks you profusely whenever you finish a task he's assigned you to and a lot of times when you're both not too busy you'll just sit and talk or joke abt things and his smile lights a bonfire in your stomach cause it's so fucking perfect.
♡ the longer you spent with him the more tense things became very quickly. It started off pretty small though. If you were standing in his way he'd gently set his hands on your hips from behind when he passed you for a moment, he started calling you little nicknames like honey, sweetheart, angel, ect. Eye contact lingered a little longer than it should've. Oh god.
♡ everything kinda came to a peak during one of your actual training days.
♡ Noah had planned on teaching you some new techniques and general anatomy things, kicking it off with watching him do a few surface piercings on clients but later in the day you got to watch him do a tongue piercing and afterwards got onto the topic of how you could never get one cause of how painful it looked. Ofc Noah went into his typical "It's not that bad, you can handle it!" Spiel.
"I'll do one free right now if you want. Just to show you it's not bad."
"C'mon, I had one for a while! It's quick."
"I promise I'll take care of you, won't hurt too bad."
♡ he was giving you the biggest puppy eyes and you couldn't say no. You weren't usually the one to be in the chair but now that you were, the nerves were getting to you. Noah was nearly bouncing around setting everything up, you were happy he was excited but the idea of a giant needle jamming through your tongue wasn't necessarily pleasant. Biting it hurts so fucking bad how does this not hurt? Was he just lying to make you feel better?
♡ once everything was set up Noah turned back to you, handing you a tiny mouthwash cup.
"Swish this. Can't clean your tongue like you do for surface piercings so this is the go to."
♡ he was basically staring at you the whole time, only breaking contact to grab some gloves. This wasn't helpful, your stomach was already in your throat so butterflies filling the expanse of your chest was a little worse than usual. Just before everything actually started, it caught on to him that you were genuinely nervous. He sat a gloved hand on your thigh to try and ease your nerves but you swore you'd pass out at the action. His hand took up most of your thigh, he was too close, your heart was already racing and him being in your space was only making it worse.
♡ you were staring up into his pretty brown eyes like a scared puppy and he could feel you nearly trembling under his hand. Were you really that nervous for a piercing? It can't be just that. You looked so pretty from this angle though...he could practically feel the heat radiating off of your body too.
♡ the hand on your thigh gave a gentle squeeze and it drew an involuntary whine from your throat. He had you fuckin hooked now, it made sense.
"Relax, I promise I'll take care of you. You trust me?"
"You trust me, sweetheart?"
♡ his free hand cupped your jaw, running his thumb across your bottom lip as he stared down at you with a half lidded expression. His presence made your brain feel fuzzy and not like any other time, this time he was drowning every sense you had and you felt like you were under an actual spell. You'd do anything for him, you trusted him. This fuzzy head space also threw out all of your typical hesitation, ready to comply to any instruction from him.
♡ the thumb on your lips turned to two of his long gloved fingers pressing down on your tongue and getting fucked down your throat. The hand on your thigh had moved up to tangle in your hair, keeping your head tilted back to give him a good view of how your pretty lips looked wrapped around his fingers and how messy you made them. He huffed a laugh when he pushed his fingers a little too far, gagging you on them before pulling them out entirely.
"If you can't handle my fingers how do you expect to handle my cock, hm?"
"so messy...look so pretty like this..."
"should've told me how you felt earlier, I could've been making you feel this good weeks ago."
"I'll let you have something else in your mouth if you say please, baby"
♡ funny how you were supposed to be getting pierced but completely skipped it to find out your mentor can send you directly into subspace with damn near no effort. Wonderful.
♡ this wasn't the only instance of you two getting into it while you're supposed to be training though. A week or so after the first time you were in his chair again, this time he came up with the excuse to talk about ripple piercing anatomy but again it ended completely different. Your head was leaned back against the uncomfortable piercing chair while he stood over you, fingers teasing and flicking at your overly sensitive nipples.
"So whiny, maybe you need my fingers down your throat again to keep you quiet."
♡ he leaned down to fucking cover your chest in love bites and hickeys, laving his tongue over your nipples when he had a chance. He loved seeing his mark on you.
♡ he really couldn't help himself you just looked so pretty and pliant for him :((( he ended up fucking you in his chair, lifting your legs over his shoulders and using your size difference to his advantage to basically fold you in half under him. He was so fucking big you couldn't help the little tears that pricked at the corners of your vision from the stretch of him.
"Awe, pretty baby...can't handle it? I'll go slow at first, promise."
"So tight for me- feels so fuckin' good"
"Pretty lil' pussy was made for my cock, wasn't it? You're all mine."
♡ Noah held a large hand over your mouth tightly while he fucked into you, trying his best to keep you quiet. He'd hate for the two of you to be found out and this whole arrangement be ruined. You yelped against his hand when he slammed into you balls deep and ground his hips against yours as he came. He stood back to watch himself drip out of you afterwards and used two fingers to fuck his cum back into you.
"Don't wanna waste any- unless you wanna suck it off my fingers."
♡ this turned into a pretty regular occurrence. You were spending 99% of your time with him, even when you weren't training you'd come in just to spend time with him or bring him snacks/energy drinks to help him during his shift. He'd spend his breaks with you in his lap, his big hands on your hips while you littered kisses across his neck and ground your hips into his. You started wearing skirts more often for easy access since you two couldn't go a day without at least a quickie between clients.
Ill write more I'm just exhausted rn and so uncreative lol I slept none yesterday but I still need this man CARNALLY.
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For three years now I have dedicated myself to posting puppets on the Internet. And the ways people respond to some of these puppets fascinate me. They say things like “would”, “kind of a MILF”, “hear me out”, etc. They do not say these things about Miss Piggy, or Janice, or any other character with perfectly respectable sex appeal. They say them about the freakiest looking motherfuckers I can find.
I have collected the puppets which have garnered the highest number of these responses into the groundbreaking Sexy Puppet Mini-Tournament.
(This is going to be a short, low-commitment tournament, so many puppets had to be left out, and propaganda will not be collected. Sorry!)
Matchups below cut
HENSON VS TUMBLR
Digit (The Jim Henson Hour) vs Wally Darling (Welcome Home)
Uncle Deadly (The Muppets) vs Dr. Boris Habit (Smile For Me)
Skeksis (entire species, The Dark Crystal) vs Tony the Talking Clock (Don't Hug Me I'm Scared)
Silver Beak (The Muppet Show) vs Sketchbook (Don't Hug Me I'm Scared)
CREEPY VS CUTE
Norman (Evil by Interpol) vs Crow T Robot (Mystery Science Theatre 3000)
Sockhead (Freaked) vs Tulio Triviño (31 Minutos)
Audrey II (Little Shop of Horrors) vs Arinelson (Rá-Tim-Bum)
The Creature (Frankenstein, Hamburg State Opera) vs Cleo Lion (Between the Lions)
#sexy puppet tournament#is the tag if you want to blocklist#all of these matchups pain me greatly i hope everyone wins#i am going to post one matchup per day each lasting a week sometime in the evening probably idk
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Yesterday (5/14, I know the queue is probably pretty large so I'll mark that down for reference) I found out the little old lady who runs my favorite thrift store didn't get anything for Mother's Day. No texts, no calls, no cards, nothing. So I rushed out of the store to get her some flowers, so she would have something. At first it went like I'd hoped - she was happy, she smiled - and then she noticed my Star of David necklace. The smile slipped off of her face. She asked me if I was Israeli. She asked me if I supported Israel. She asked me why I shopped at a thrift store when "your people have money". This is going to sound pathetic but I'm 16 and neurodivergent and I get overwhelmed easily. I ended up crying and apologizing. I apologized to her for getting her flowers and she told me as I rushed out that she stands with Hamas. (Not Gaza, not Palestine. Hamas, specifically.)
I cried until I threw up. Then I drove home. I sat down, and I tried to tell myself I'm okay. But I'm not. There's a hole inside me now. I feel guilty and wrong and bad. I've never lived anywhere other than this one town in Kentucky my whole life. I don't have Israeli relatives. My family has lived here since the 1890's. We should be some of the "good ones", right? We meet all the criteria for not being hated according to the "I'm not antisemitic I'm antizionist" crowd. On paper, it should have been okay.
In practice it wasn't. I was guilty of being Jewish. And instead of making her feel better, all I did was make this woman feel even worse. I just make everything worse by existing.
I keep crying. I don't really know why. I can't make sense of the world anymore.
Anon, I'm sorry this happened to you, but you did not do anything wrong. It is not your fault that this woman is hateful-🐞
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A Not-So-Disastrous Romance (Book 1) Chapter Twenty-Four
Kusuo Saiki x Reader
Chapter Twenty-Four: Celebrations
Summary: (Y/N) meets Saiki's grandfather, and his friends celebrate his birthday.
Mouse Note: Thank you so much for everyone's support on this series, it means the world to me. Don't worry, the story isn't over, we'll return to Saiki and MC soon, but first I'm going to have an AOS! Logos and Pathos book and then a One Hell of a Love book and maybe some other things going on. I hope you guys enjoyed, I was super surprised by the support of this book, but it was so wonderful, and I hope you guys like this end
(Y/N) walked through the shopping center, humming along to the song playing in their earbuds. They had gotten all the ingredients and supplies to try making macarons, so now all that was left was to go home and make them.
Should I bring them to school and hand them out to people? thought (Y/N). In that case, I should get some bags to put them in.
They paused as they passed a sad-looking man sitting dejectedly on a bench. “Excuse me, sir, are you lost?” they asked, stepping forward.
“Huh?” The grey-haired man looked up. “What do you want?” he said grumpily.
“I was wondering if I could help you at all,” said (Y/N), still friendly. They were used to people being rougher around the edges—Saiki was like that.
“I don’t need any help. Leave me alone,” huffed the man.
In a store nearby, Saiki was struck by a sudden feeling—something was going on with his grandfather. While his mother watched his grandmother try on teenager’s clothing, Saiki slipped out to check on his grandfather. He rounded a corner to look at where Grandpa Saiki had been left to fend for himself. Saiki nearly groaned. (Y/N) was speaking to him. Somehow, his family—weird as they were—kept meeting (Y/N). (Yes, his parents both liked (Y/N), but this was his tsundere grandfather. He couldn’t let (Y/N) get scared off by Grandpa Saiki’s outward rudeness). Saiki needed to intervene before Grandpa Saiki hurt (Y/N)’s feelings.
“Well, sir, you look lost, and I don’t want to leave you to fend for yourself. Are you positive you’re alright?” asked (Y/N), smiling. “I know Shibuya can be a bit confusing sometimes. I got lost the first few times I visited.”
Grandpa Saiki stared at (Y/N), still so friendly despite him being rude. “…I’m just waiting for my family. They went in without me.”
“That’s too bad,” said (Y/N).
“I fought with my grandson,” admitted Grandpa Saiki.
Saiki stared in shock. (Y/N) had easily gotten along with Grandpa Saiki. It seemed everyone they met liked (Y/N) (or almost all). Not that Saiki could blame anyone. He liked them for a reason (innumerable reasons, actually).
“That’s too bad,” said (Y/N), sitting down next to Grandpa Saiki.
“He’s seventeen years old, and he’s my adorable grandson,” said Grandpa Saiki sadly.
“You seem to care about him a lot,” said (Y/N).
“But we fought, and now he doesn’t like me,” said Grandpa Saiki.
“I’m sure he still cares about you,” said (Y/N) encouragingly. “Families have little quarrels all the time. You just have to make it up to him so that he knows you’re sorry about it all.”
“But how?” said Grandpa Saiki.
“A gift is always appreciated,” said (Y/N). “And if you want, I could help you pick something out. Your grandson and I are the same age, so maybe we have similar interests.”
Saiki watched all of this unfold, dumbfounded. Grandpa Saiki was never so reasonable, and somehow, (Y/N) was handling him like any other person—easily, kindly. Curious, Saiki followed (Y/N) and Grandpa Saiki as they walked into a store.
“What does your grandson like?” asked (Y/N). “Clothes, accessories, games, sweets?”
“I’m not sure,” said Grandpa Saiki. “I know that he wears barrettes and glasses with all of his outfits and that he likes when my wife bakes.”
(Y/N) chuckled. “He sounds like my friend. He really likes sweets and has glasses.”
You’re so observant and yet so oblivious, thought Saiki fondly.
(Y/N) led Grandpa Saiki to the grocery aisle of the store to show him the options for sweets. “There are brownies, cupcakes, coffee jellies, candy, all sorts of things. What do you think?”
“Hm…I’m not sure,” said Grandpa Saiki. “What does your friend like?”
(Y/N) laughed. “Well, my friend is really unique and has an obsession with coffee jelly. But I don’t know if every teenager has the same tastes as Kusuo.”
Grandpa Saiki perked up. “Kusuo? As in Kusuo Saiki?”
“Yeah,” said (Y/N), nodding.
“That’s my grandson,” said Grandpa Saiki. I met one of my beloved grandson’s friends!
“Really?” (Y/N) laughed. “What a coincidence! I’m his friend, (Y/N) (L/N).”
“It’s nice to meet any of my grandson’s friends,” said Grandpa Saiki.
You’re only saying that because you met (Y/N). They’re the best of my friends, thought Saiki. They’re the one he loved.
“It’s a pleasure to meet his family,” said (Y/N), bowing politely. They grinned. “And now you know exactly what to get him!” They nodded to the coffee jelly. “Get him some coffee jelly and he’ll forgive you for anything.”
“Thank you,” said Grandpa Saiki, picking up a package. “You’ve been a great help,” he said as they headed towards the counter to pay.
“Of course,” said (Y/N). “Tell Kusuo I say, ‘hi!’ ” They bowed. “And, again, it was nice meeting you.” With a final wave, they headed off.
Saiki watched his grandfather pay for the package and walked out. Somehow, this situation had turned in Saiki’s favor.
When (Y/N) is involved, everything gets better.
That night, as he ate his grandfather’s apology, he smiled and thought of (Y/N)’s kindness.
l
Saiki sighed as he got up to leave class. Everyone had been bothering him today. Even minor characters like Amp and Kusuke had made an appearance. The cameos were off the charts, and Saiki knew that meant trouble, so he wanted to escape.
Additionally, though, people had been acting strangely around him. His friends (bothers) weren’t hanging around quite as closely as normal and avoiding being around him. Ordinarily, that would be a good thing, but…
“Hey, pal, let’s go home together. The runt says we should talk about tomorrow,” said Nendou.
“Wha—?!” Kuboyasu stared at Nendou in alarm.
“You idiot!” said Kaidou. “What are you doing?! That’s not what we planned.”
“Huh? But it’s my pal’s—”
“Shut up! Let’s go,” said Kaidou, dragging Nendou towards the door.
“Come on, you guys,” said (Y/N), ushering them away. “Bye, Kusuo! See you tomorrow!”
Saiki sighed. With his telepathy, he knew exactly what was going on, and despite his current respite from their bothersome schemes, it was just going to come around and become an even bigger problem for him in the long run.
Yare yare.
l
“Nendou made me nervous,” said Kaidou as he looked out the window with the group by his side.
“He almost ruined our plan,” said Hairo, shaking his head.
“You almost ruined it, too, Chiyo,” warned Teruhashi.
“I let my guard down. I’ll be more careful,” said Yumehara.
“So where’s Nendou?” asked Kuboyasu.
“I sent him home. With his brain, he can’t keep up with this plan,” said Kaidou.
“That’s for the best,” said Hairo.
“We’ve been preparing this for a week,” said Kaidou gravely. “We can’t afford to fail.” He unraveled the plans. The top read “Operation: Surprise Birthday Party for Kusuo Saiki.” “We can’t afford to fail. Now, let’s start the strategy meeting…for Operation Surprise Saiki, which is taking place tomorrow!”
(Y/N) shook their head and chuckled. They had tried to intercede, but at this point, they were going to let the plan go through. They’re all put too much work into it.
“Tomorrow, after school, Aren and I will lure Saiki to the location of the party, which is my house,” said Kaidou. “We won’t talk about his birthday at all. When we get to my house, I’ll go get something to drink, Aren will take him to the room. When the time seems right, Aren will set off a cracker. That’ll be the signal to say, ‘Happy Birthday!’ Then, I’ll bring out the birthday cake, and the surprise will be a big success. I wonder what the look on his face will be…”
Poor Kusuo. (Y/N) smiled to themself. Hopefully he’ll remember they all have good intentions. I mean, even if his birthday is actually in August…
Outside the door, Saiki sighed as everyone went on and on about their excitement and the gifts they prepared. At this point, he couldn’t tell them they had the wrong day. Not when Kaidou read aloud his proclamation of friendship. Not when (Y/N) was involved and so happy (even if he did wonder why they hadn’t corrected everyone about his birthday).
A little smile appeared on Saiki’s face. Yare yare. So troublesome, and yet he was willing to put up with them. For some reason, anyway.
l
“Saiki went home?!” cried Kaidou.
“Yeah,” said Kuboyasu grimly.
“I warned you, he likes to leave school as soon as possible,” chuckled (Y/N).
“What do we need to do now?” said Kaidou.
“Do we put a stop to it?” wondered Kuboyasu.
“Not after all this time. Time for plan beta!” said Kaidou.
“We have a plan beta?” wondered (Y/N).
Sure enough, the entire group—Yumehara, Mera, Kaidou, Kuboyasu, (Y/N), Hairo, and Teruhashi—was soon crouching around the corner from Saiki’s house.
“I’ll explain again,” said Kaidou. “First, we ring Saiki’s doorbell. When he comes out, we all pull the crackers. The Emotional Saiki Plan.”
“What if someone else answers?” asked Kuboyasu.
“We will explain it and make them let us in,” said Kaidou. “Let’s go!”
The group headed towards the door and rang the doorbell. (Y/N) smiled and shook their head. Whoever opened the door, they knew Saiki had a trick up his sleeve. Going along with something so steeped in emotions was not Saiki’s way.
The door swung open, and Saiki stood there.
“Surprise!” called everyone, cracking the crackers.
Saiki’s eyes widened in surprise, and he smiled. “What? What is this?”
“Today’s your birthday, right?” said Teruhashi brightly.
“Yes, but…”
Aha. (Y/N) giggled behind their hand. That wasn’t Saiki. It was Mr. Saiki since today was his birthday.
“We came to celebrate your birthday!” said Hairo.
“Wow, really?!” said Mr. Saiki, beaming from Saiki’s face. It was odd to see it, but (Y/N) at least could see through it. “You know my birthday?”
“Of course, Saiki,” said Kaidou.
“ ‘Saiki?’ ” repeated Mr. Saiki, still happy.
“Hey, pal!” Nendou walked up. “I heard it’s your birthday!” He held up a watermelon.
“Nendou, you came, too?” said Mr. Saiki.
“He managed it,” said Kaidou, nodding.
“Come on in, all of you,” said Mr. Saiki.
“Thanks, Saiki!” said Yumehara, heading it.
Wow, no one has noticed how differently “Kusuo” is acting, thought (Y/N).
“You seem to be enjoying yourself, (Y/N),” said Teruhashi curiously. “You keep smiling and laughing.”
“I’m just having a really good time,” chuckled (Y/N).
It’s still going? thought Saiki. He had thought this would end quickly.
“Thank you all so much,” said Mr. Saiki. “I would never have expected Kusuo’s friends to celebrate my birthday. I’m deeply moved.”
(Y/N) coughed at the mention of “Kusuo’s friends,” but luckily, no one seemed to notice.
“You’re our friend,” said Mera.
“Happy birthday,” said Hairo.
“Yes, Saiki!” said Kaidou. “By the way, Saiki, are your parents here?”
“My parents don’t live with us,” said Mr. Saiki.
“Whoa, really?” said Hairo.
“My mother lives in the family home, and my father is no longer with us,” said Mr. Saiki.
He’s walking right into trouble with that one, thought (Y/N). They decided to step in. “Oh, yeah, he’s traveling for work right now.”
I’m glad someone has worked it out and is helping.
“What? No, he’s—”
“Come upstairs,” said Saiki directly to his father’s mind.
“Huh? Is that Kusuo?” wondered Mr. Saiki.
“Kusuo?” repeated Kuboyasu.
“I need to head upstairs for a moment,” said Mr. Saiki awkwardly, leaving the room.
Alright, I’ll hold down the fort. I wonder what Saiki’ll do now. Have his dad continue the party or end it or…actually come down himself? (Y/N) hoped he would. Even if it wasn’t his birthday, they wanted to spend some time with him and give him the present. All of his friends did.
Upstairs, Saiki explained the situation to his father, who nodded.
“Oh, I see. That’s what I thought. I thought it was strange,” said Mr. Saiki.
“You were totally into it,” said Saiki.
“The surprise is over, so you want to switch places?” said Mr. Saiki.
“No. Keep going,” said Saiki, giving a thumbs up.
“You want me to keep going?!” exclaimed Mr. Saiki.
“It’s not my birthday. I can’t pretend it is,” said Saiki, pushing his father back down the stairs.
“I’m not you, Kusuo. I can’t pretend that I am. I think (L/N) already figured it out,” said Mr. Saiki.
“They did. They’re observant. But they won’t say anything,” said Saiki. “I’m counting on you.” I can’t respond to their kindness.
Pretend to be Kusuo, thought Mr. Saiki, standing before the door. He opened it. “Yare yare. Sorry for the wait. Yare yare.”
I don’t say yare yare that much.
“We’re sorry for interrupting your birthday while your father is away,” said Kaidou.
“Oh, it’s fine. He’s coming back today,” said Mr. Saiki quickly.
He’s really not like Kusuo at all, thought (Y/N).
“And why’d you used the term ‘not with us?’ ” said Kuboyasu. “That sounds like he’s dead.”
“You shouldn’t talk about your dad that way,” said Hairo, shaking his head.
“M-My apologies,” said Mr. Saiki.
“Well, anyway,” said Teruhashi, trying to break in.
“Look, we finished the cake!” said Yumehara brightly, holding up the box.
“It turned out great,” said Teruhashi.
“Especially the face,” agreed Yumehara.
They took the cake out and put it on the table. It was all smooshed and melted.
“Oh, no,” the girls said, deflating.
Oh dear, thought (Y/N) sympathetically. It’s so hard to shape cakes and keep them looking good.
They should have gotten (Y/N) to help them.
“It got smashed in the transit,” said Teruhashi in disappointment.
“But you made it with lots of love, so that’s what matters,” said (Y/N).
“What?! Love?! No, no! It’s just friendship! A friendship birthday cake! Besides, Chiyo made it with me! We put a ton of work in together!” rambled Teruhashi in a panic.
“We’ll make another,” said Yumehara, looking at Mr. Saiki. “I swear, it looked perfect!”
There’s no choice.
“Wow, look! The cake is reforming!” said Hairo, staring at the cake.
“The sponge cake is rebounding,” said Kuboyasu.
Thank you, Kusuo, thought (Y/N). They knew he’d save his friends’ feelings after they worked so hard for him even if misguided).
“Wow, this is amazing,” said Mr. Saiki, looking at the Saiki-shaped cake. “It looks delicious.”
That is something Kusuo would say, thought (Y/N), grinning.
“Just wait, you’ll really be moved!” said Mera.
“We have a surprise for you,” said Kuboyasu. “A video letter—”
Mera held up the camera, and Nendou’s face hit it. It fell to the ground, broken.
“Oh,” said (Y/N), disappointed since Mera and Kuboyasu had worked hard on it.
“Oh, no, that’s no good,” said Mr. Saiki.
“Sorry, Saiki.” Kuboyasu took off his glasses. “Go on. Hit me. Everyone, hit me.”
“Kuboyasu, there’s really no need for that,” said (Y/N) quickly. “It was an accident.”
Yare yare.
“Hey, look! It’s working,” said Kaidou, staring at the TV screen as it displayed the video letter.
“It’s fixed,” said Hairo in happy amazement.
“Alright!” said Kaidou. “Raise a glass and let’s start the feast.”
“Cheers!” Everyone lifted their glasses.
The party was in full swing. (Y/N) hung back since they felt awkward interacting with their crush’s father in such a context (also, they were disappointed Saiki himself wasn’t there), but everyone was having a great time. Some people armed wrestled, they joked, they laughed, and they bonded with one another—already a tight-knit friend group getting closer.
Upstairs, Saiki sat and psychically monitored the party so that his dad didn’t screw anything up for his reputation or give away his psychic abilities.
“Oh, there you are,” said Mr. Saiki, popping his face upstairs. “Your dad’s a star!”
“Good for you.”
“Well, you want to switch soon?” said Mr. Saiki.
“No thanks. Hurry back now,” said Saiki. “I would only be a buzzkill.”
“So what?”
Saiki looked up at his dad in slight surprise.
“Go on, Kusuo,” said Mr. Saiki. “You must feel some gratitude toward them. You didn’t want to hurt their feelings, so you asked me to cover for you. But that’s not right. They all came here for you, Kusuo. Even if you do hurt their feelings, you should go to them.” He turned and walked away.
Saiki paused and watched him go. “Who are you to lecture me?” He stood.
“I’m your father!” exclaimed Mr. Saiki.
Saiki glanced at the stairs and walked down. He paused outside of the living room. Now, how do I get rid of them?
“That was a huge success,” said Kaidou.
“Saiki seemed really happy about everything,” agreed Teruhashi.
“(Y/N), you didn’t give him his present,” said Yumehara.
“I’ll give it to him later,” said (Y/N), smiling.
“He seemed very energetic. He must have really liked all of this,” said Hairo.
“Yes, but something didn’t seem quite right,” said Nendou.
“That’s true. It’s like the walls around him are stronger than ever,” said Kaidou.
“Maybe he was trying to hard to go along with us,” said Kuboyasu.
“Oh, no, that’s terrible,” said Yumehara.
“He should just be himself,” said Hairo.
(Y/N) nodded. “We accept him how he is.” For who he really is.
Yare yare. You’re the ones who are acting strange. Saiki opened the door.
“Hey, pal, what took you so long?” Nendou grinned at him.
“Saiki!” The group beamed at him.
“Yare yare.” Saiki shook his head and sat down.
He watched as everyone eagerly chatted and joked, leaving him a little more alone—not wanting him to “put up his walls again.”
“Do you want a piece of cake?” said (Y/N), sitting down beside him and lifting a plate.
“Yes,” said Saiki, instantly taking it and taking a bite.
(Y/N) leaned in, smiled, and whispered, “Welcome to the party, Kusuo.”
Saiki looked at them and nodded. Ah, well. He could avoid them all tomorrow. He supposed this wasn’t terrible.
l
“Why didn’t you tell them it wasn’t my birthday?” asked Saiki. He floated the plates he was cleaning to (Y/N), who set them in the drying rack. “You know when my birthday is.” It wasn’t accusatory, just a plain question.
“They made the whole plan before they even told me,” said (Y/N), shrugging. “At that point they’d put so much work into it that I couldn’t help but let it keep going.” They chuckled and nudged him. “Besides, that’s the exact same reason you let it go on.”
“No, I just couldn’t convince them not to,” said Saiki.
“Uh-huh,” said (Y/N), rolling their eyes with a laugh. “You know I see through you by now.”
“See through me?”
“Yep,” chirped (Y/N), grinning.
Saiki looked at them, nearly asked them a question, and then stopped.
“Oh, Kusuo, before I forget, I got you a gift,” said (Y/N), heading back into the living room.
Saiki followed. “But it isn’t my birthday.”
“I decided I might as well get into the spirit of things,” said (Y/N) brightly. They held up the present. “Tada! Open it up.”
Saiki curiously opened the box and found a book(?) inside. He glanced up. This wasn’t a sweet or something themed on a sweet like (Y/N)’s usual gifts.
“Look inside,” said (Y/N), grinning.
Saiki lifted the album out and opened it. He stared. It was a photo. Of Café Mami. He turned the page. Now there was a photo of the sports festival, him running his race. Christmas with his friends. The beach. Okinawa. Karoake. London. Him having…fun. His friends with him. People celebrating, smiling.
“I know you’re not big on being with people, but I know I really loved—liked having these moments with you,” said (Y/N). They smiled sheepishly. “So I guess this was partly a gift for me, but I, uh, I hope you can see these moments as fondly as I do.”
Saiki looked between the photos and (Y/N). No. He wasn���t an extrovert. He didn’t seek others out. He found most incidents bothers. But…
But.
But in every one of these memories, there was something Saiki did like. Yes, he was…fond of his friends. This was the only moment he’d admit that. However, more importantly to Saiki, (Y/N) was in every one of those memories. They didn’t feature in any of the photos, but he knew they were behind the camera with a smile on their face. That was the reason Saiki instantly loved the photos. They held (Y/N)’s joy.
And that was the reason Saiki loved them.
“I love it, (Y/N),” said Saiki.
(Y/N) beamed. “I’m glad.”
“…I love it because you made it,” said Saiki. “You always put so much heart into what you make.”
(Y/N) blushed. “Thanks, Kusuo.”
“Even when I’m ungrateful, you’re still so kind,” said Saiki, stepping forward.
(Y/N) looked at Saiki. “We’ve talked about this before, Kusuo, I don’t care that you’re not into words of affection. That doesn’t matter to me.”
“It does. It does to me. Because you deserve to know that you’re a good friend and that I…I value you.” Saiki swallowed. This was it. “I like you, (Y/N).”
(Y/N) started as they heard Saiki speak without telepathy. “You—You what?”
“I like you,” repeated Saiki. “As…as more than a friend.”
“You do?” A smile spread across (Y/N)’s face. “Really?”
Saiki nodded jerkily.
“Oh, Kusuo. I like you, too,” said (Y/N). They let out a joyful laugh. “I really, really like you, Kusuo. I have feelings for you.”
“I do, too,” said Saiki. “I didn’t phrase it right.”
“You phrased it just right,” said (Y/N), stepping up and taking Saiki’s hand daringly. They cleared their throat. “Can I-Can I kiss you, Kusuo?”
Saiki looked at them, and he found that the idea of affection with them was as appealing as ever. He nodded and held their hand tighter.
Saiki and (Y/N) leaned, hesitant, unsure of themselves, but perfectly comfortable with one another. They were willing to try something new with the person they loved.
Their lips touched, and Saiki and (Y/N) pulled back for a moment. But the separation lasted for but a second as they leaned back in, kissing once more, more confidently, more eagerly.
When they finally separated, (Y/N) and Saiki were both pink, and (Y/N) let out a little laugh at the rush of joy. Saiki felt their hand in his and gazed at the beautiful smile he had fallen for. There was only one thing he could say.
“Oh, wow.”
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#a not so disastrous romance#x reader#gn reader#nb reader#x gn reader#x nb reader#the disaster of psi kusuo saiki#saiki kusou no psi nan#saiki x reader#saiki k#kusuo saiki#saiki#saiki kusuo#saiki no psi nan#kusuo x reader#saiki kusuo x reader#kusuo saiki x reader#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#the disastrous life of saiki k
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IWTV S2E2 and History
One thing I really appreciate about this show is how it interacts with its historical setting. I worried that when Louis and Claudia left New Orleans last season, the show would start to shirk the historical details, but the latest episode has given me enough historical tidbits to chew on (pun intended).
Hidden behind the humor of lines like "Paris is shit" and the thrill of meeting other vampires, there's a sense of foreboding lingering beside the recent traumas.
As with the first episode of season 2, Louis and Claudia are surrounded by reminders of war, even if they do not have the context (or empathy) for the survivors they encounter. Claudia complains that she has to pick twice as many pockets to get by, but the two are still able to afford an apartment. Meanwhile, food staples and clothing are still rationed, but people and pigeons are easy to come by.
"Paris was Nazi scar tissue at the time..."
Louis explains, but the scars historically ran deeper than a tourist (and Louis is The stereotypical tourist in this episode) could understand. Blackouts, food shortages, rations, soldiers, and refugees linger at the corners of the episode.
Even Madeline is introduced to us by a man warning Claudia that she was a collaborator or Nazi sympathizer (he does a subtle salute and points to the shop window), which will certainly influence how the next episodes take her through her narrative beats.
The plays performed by the Théâtre des Vampires cross 1920s to 1940s expressionism with absurdity and horror. Even after all this time, Louis is unenthused about the theatrical performances.
"The plays were weird. They always ended in death or some kind of cruel, barely motivated violence."
Armand's reply is dulled by the onstage spectacle:
"Life is cruel. Life is violent. [...] It was all a seduction to lure the cattle into a willing belief of disbelief."
It's a line that is all the more concerning if you know where the story is going...
Annika, the doomed woman onstage, is from Belgium, yet another country recovering from occupation and war. When she desperately tries to convince the audience to flee (not just for them to help her, but to save themselves), she speaks Dutch, so neither the French nor English-speaking audience members understand her.
Still in character, Santiago pretends to offer her a choice. She could live if she gives up someone to die in her place, if she, as the phrase goes, "turns someone in." First, he offers to take her husband, and she refuses. Then he offers to take her son, and again she refuses. Finally, he points to a man in the audience. She nods vigorously, but it's a cruel joke.
Santiago has already made up his mind about her. He addresses the man, warning him against trusting his neighbors:
"They'll give you up in a wink."
As if someone who spent the last five years in occupied France would need reminding.
The warning is for us, the viewers.
Later, the troupe takes Louis and Claudia to a mansion, ostensibly to eat people who, apparently, hoarded resources from the black market. Another show for Claudia and Louis, tourists who still think of themselves as the "good" vampires. Because why would a troupe of vampires concern themselves with that? They don't need anything from the black market. They don't eat anything from the black market. Where was this sense of justice in recent years?
As with Annika, it's yet another excuse to enact cruel and public violence against people they consider less than them.
So when Santiago's introductory prologue includes lines like:
"Being vampires, and by nature superior to you mortals, we can [...] disrupt your tiny ship called human decency."
"Our jobs, which is at the heart of it, to laugh alongside your misery while you cry and scream for more."
"Everything you're about to see is real. Remember that when you leave here tonight. You are all complicit [...] I love you for it."
You know things are not going to get better for Louis and Claudia.
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Just a warning, this au strays a bit close to NSFW territory in that it does talk about Sex Workers, but it does not mention or describe anything specific, mostly just discussing how they operate and some dangers they may face working in Gothem.
So, we all know that Tim would do a lot for the mission right? More than most people would. I mean, just look at Brucequest or the fact he came back after his 16th birthday or his first few months as Robin when he was basically Bruce's nanny. He also has many false life's he can slip into at the drop of a hat such as Alvin Draper or Caroline Hill. So why not add one more to those personas? A woman named Jane Doe, a sex worker who works just outside Crime Alley who everyone knows and knows everyone, but no one truly knows her nor have they ever seen her face, if she even is a woman as she uses all pronouns to get just a little more mystery added to them. Their outfit is constantly changing but also very specific, a short and highly attractive dress that doesn't look cheap and a full face mask in the style of Venetian Carnival Masks, Volto design specifically so that it covers his full face but shows striking blue eyes. Those he has colored contacts that he switches around constantly.
The reason that Tim does this is simple. Information. While Jason may be able to ask the sex workers under his protection questions, they wouldn't be as open with him as they would another sex worker. Tim can get information from them, the clients, the shop owners of the area, the homeless, anyone and everyone who is often on the street or connected to it that none of the other Bats would ever be able to get. And through his... services he gets a lot of information about up coming things thanks to a special discount everyone knows about. If you tell Jane a secret they don't already know, you get 10% off his services. Tell him 2 and you get 20%. So on and so forth, but it has to be things that Tim didn't already know and he's more than happy to hear about which rouges are hiring at the moment and when they stop hiring, after all, what easier way to predict when they are gunna do stuff than by when they get new henchmen?
A lot is known about Jane Doe, yet also nothing is known. Jane doesn't keep any of the money he makes, giving it to the other girls and often extra as well. No one knows where she keeps getting 100s of dollars to just *give* them but she does. Jane has three brothers, a sister, and a father but no mother. They don't know their names, simply knowing them as N, H, C, R, and B. Whoever they are, they're a well off family but they aren't good to Jane, bad enough that Jane feels safer on the corners of Gothem than the comfort of her home. They know from "funny" stories he tells about his family or via them asking about scars he forgets misses when he covers himself in makeup (there are so many, what have they done to you child?) And him always telling something close to the truth.
They know that N is his oldest brother and the only one who cared about him for a long time, who helped him and was the first person who ever made him feel truly happy. They also know that N took something very precious from Jane Doe without Jane's permission and shattered their trust in N. Tim never told them what was taken or that it was Robin, but in a profession like the one he shares with them, they all come to the same conclusion about what was taken and why Jane might seek comfort in this line of work.
They know that H is also his older brother and has hurt Jane often. They know that the slight scar on his neck he covers with a choker or makeup was made by H, as was the bullet scar in his leg. He laughed about that one, telling his friends how H had set down one of his guns after cleaning it, R picked it up and accidentally fired it, and it bounced twice before going clean through Tim's leg. He laughs about how mad H was at both of them and how he yelled at them to not tell B or else, using a mocking tone and laughter that only causes the others to glance at eachother in worry over their friend. Tim makes sure to reassure them that he got to the blood before it dried so it wasn't to hard to clean up. Tim may have read it as anger in Jason's voice when he said to not tell, but actually it was panic and worry about Tim's wound and how Bruce would react.
They don't know much about C, only that she managed to escape the hell hole known as Gothem and lives in another country. Sometimes she comes back for visits and Jane is always very excited when she does.
The other Sex Workers don't like R. They know that R has either threatened Jane with sharp objects or actually harmed her with them many times but has never gotten in trouble for it. Any time Tim has some left over injuries from patrol, he plays it off as either R or H getting agressive with him again and tries to calm them by saying, "oh come on. Both of them have only tried to *actually* kill me twice! It's fine guys, they won't seriously injure me." While having 5 stitches in his arm.
Jane doesn't talk about their Dad much, always getting quiet and looking away when he's brought up. They ask if B has ever hit him and Jane says, "he doesn't hit me anymore." And all of them want to kill him. They want to kill all of them (except maybe C) and bury their bodies where they'll never be found.
Of course, none of the Bats know about Tim's other nightly activities and where he gets his info from, simply shrugging and moving along. Tim is terrified of any of them accidentally finding out. But unfortunately that day could be coming soon as one of the workers goes to The Red Hood and grabs him by the jacket saying, "you're supposed to protect us right? That's what you promised us, isn't it? Saftey? Well one of the others, Jane, is in deep trouble. Their family is gunna *kill* them. Do whatever you need to do to keep Jane safe from those monsters, we'll tell you what we know, but stop them before she's just another dead body in Gothem Harbor. Do we need to pay you? We'll pay you however much it takes for you to make them pay."
This does remind me of a few fics that go over Tim's "Caroline" identity combined with the idea that Bruce was worse to Tim during his Robin years. Some fics do go into Tim having to go so far as actually having sex with people while some don't.
There are also a few fics of Tim going undercover in Crime Alley as a stripper, cocktail server, sex worker, or other when Red Hood finds out and loses his shit.
The idea of Tim using a fake identity to vent about his family issues is a really cool concept! It would allow him to see how the actions done against him were shit and not okay. He may have the mindset that his trauma is fine because it happened to him, but the separation of identities may help start that realization process. I'm also all here for the identity shenanigans of someone trying to save Jane from her family and accidentally going to one of the people who's hurt them. Lovely amounts of mixed emotions there.
This fic/AU would need to be careful to address both the trauma of Tim selling himself at such a young age as well as still treat sex workers with respect, individuality, and care. It would also be cool to see how the inner workings of the sex industry may be affected by Gotham (such as rogues, toxins, corruption, wealth disparity/poverty, etc).
But yeah! Lots to explore in this AU. I wonder if Tim, in this one, cares about pronouns or gender identity. Does he enjoy crossdressing, does he experiment with his gender identity, and does he make distinctions? I think it would be cool to indicate he's closer agender but is fine with whatever. I like to imagine, in this AU, that he simply doesn't care what gender identity he's perceived as unless that identity needs a specific gender.
Anyways, I am curious about how Red Hood reacts to his characterization by Jane. I wonder if she seems to be wary or distant from him before he finds out that's Tim. Hopefully, Jason tries not to take Jane's hesitance personally. Just because Red Hood is established as a protector doesn't mean that Jane would trust him. They may have their own reasons/experiences not to that has nothing to do with the anti-hero.
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Absolutely love that Marisha was probably going to make a tamer choice, but Matt saw the perfect opportunity to push her as a Delilah, and really feed Laudna's paranoia. I think that really pushed her over the edge and Marisha fully ran with it.
And Liam really thought through what he knew (this was Laudna and she's being manipulated by Delilah but not intentionally hurting Orym), vs. what Orym knew (something he couldn't see attacked him in his sleep and he needs to defend himself from it because he had no idea what it's intentions were and has every reason to assume it's trying to kill all of them). Honestly Orym remained pretty defensive overall. Love that they both learned into how much both of them felt totally justified and like they were defending the party from harmful corrupting influence.
———
I'm someone with mental health problems that cause intrusive thoughts that can make me feel so absolutely certain that I'm justified in viewing other people as being intentionally harmful and lash out at them. In the moment it feels completely justified and righteous and a truth other people need to hear even though they'll resist it. I try really, really hard to resist expressing those thoughts. I try to remind myself I will end up regretting it and pushing people away permanently who (justifiably) won't put up with that treatment.
But sometimes it's so strong or I'm so triggered by the awfulness around me and despair that it escapes me. It feels like everyone else is lying to justify evil and I'm sick of it. Consequences be damned. It feels protective of other vulnerable people. And then I lash out and say things I regret and get yelled and blocked or dropped or otherwise lose people in my life and get more and more isolated. And feel like they're totally justified because really it's me who's the evil monster and need to be isolated for other prep people's protection because I can't be trusted and can't be better. I don't even want anyone too comfort me or love me because they don't deserve to be hurt by me eventually. (I'm not saying that's actually true, but that's how I feel and it feels very real to me while it's happening.)
———
Marisha absolutely nailed that depiction. In an ongoing way but particularly in CR C3 E95. And I love that it came right off the joyous mania of the shopping spree for and crafting season where they were all bonding and making plans for the future and letting off steam. But then she was triggered and all of that didn't matter. Off anything the strength of those emotions was a pendulum whose momentum helped her distress swing harder in the other direction.
She was triggered, and Delilah was a second layer of intrusive thoughts that made her feel so sure of her feelings and actions. 100% justified as Marisha said. And she would have been totally justified in just waking Orym up and having a conversation about the sword and at least putting it in the Bag of Holding overnight until they could make a long term decision. I think that's what Marisha was planning to do until Delilah showed up. She wasn't justified in hurting Orym in a unilateral decision that she should feed the sword to Delilah. Her thoughts were very real to get but not based on facts. Whatever her intentions she hurt Orym and avoided apologizing.
And I loved how Imogen pushed back this time. So often she's enabled Laudna because she loves her wants to comfort her. But this time I think she saw that's not what Laudna needs. She needs someone to check her and keep her from escalating. She's feeling complicated feelings right now because she loves Laudna, but she hates Delilah and what Delilah is getting Laudna to do. Like the partner of an addict who loves them, but hates what the substance is doing to them and how they're acting to feed that addiction. I can't wait to see how that plays out in the future.
The whole thing was incredibly real representation to me. This is an incredibly triggering situation that they're all in and they're all crumbling in the face of it. Chetney and Orym both made deals with Nana Mori. Chetney for fame, Orym for power. Ashton secretly took the fire primordial shard and nearly killed themselves in front of Fearne and then the other others. Imogen tried to flip her mom on the cult that's indoctrinated her for decades. FCG did blow himself up. Fearne was lured away by her shitbag sperm donor in the night so he could try to kill her and have a copy take her place. Dorian watched Lolth's crown take over Opal, his brother die, and his friends scattered. Laudna is feeding Delilah's power. None of them are okay and they're all being totally reckless. They're both bonding over their recklessness and being pushed apart by it. Can't wait to see what happens next.
#critical role#critical role spoilers#critical role meta#critical role campaign 3#Bell's Hells#Laudna Critical Role#Delilah Briarwood#Orym of the Air Ashari#Imogen Temult#Chetney Pock O'Pea#Ashton Greymoore#Fresh Cut Grass#Fearne Calloway#Marisha Ray#Liam O'Brien#Matthew Mercer#Laura Bailey#long post
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What do we vote if we're not sure if we've heard a song before or not? Like there's a significant chunk where I'm like "have I heard this in a shop somewhere or am I confusing it with a song I've actually heard?"
if you know you've heard it before, then you know you've heard it. if you're unsure, pick first time. it's not really that important to choose between, it's just more fun for me to see the old fan/casual listener/hater vs new listener sort of thing, instead of plain yes/no. don't stress too much about it 💖
same goes for the people who wonders what counts if they've only heard a few seconds of it on vine/tiktok, pick first time if you really don't know any other part of the song other than that one meme-part. 🤷♀️
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CHAPTER XII! encore
<- prev masterlist next ->
GOING SHOPPING WAS A VERY WELCOME DISTRACTION from everything. leaving the guys after getting breakfast together, taking a bus into the busier marketplace, and perusing all the different items that mondstadt had to offer, you and layla were feeling properly satisfied.
in particular, the clothing stores had caught you and layla's eyes. the fashion was so different to sumeru's and you couldn't help but want to find some dresses and other clothes similar to what you saw the inhabitants of mondstadt wearing as they went about daily life.
layla knew a few specific brands- heard from a friend of a friend- that she dragged you along to, and you walked down the aisles together, scanning the racks of clothing. layla pauses to inspect a dress, a pretty blue one that would really complement her hair, before she turned to you conspiratorily.
"so, i knew that i said that we should ignore last night, but you and cyno, huh?"
you got flustered, gaze averting to another dress, a thick material that you thought would melt off of you during a sumeru summer.
"oh it's... yaknow."
"it didn't look like a yakno. looked a lot friendlier than that."
"you know how it is, layla. i mean, we broke up."
"and exes can't hook up?"
you looked up at her, shocked. she's smirking to herself, glancing at the dress' pricetag before grimacing and releasing it from her grip.
"i mean, hot girl summer, right?"
"and where was this energy when you were telling me to be careful, hm?" the girl simply shrugged, grinning at you elfishly.
"eh, fuck it. besides, i see the way you two look at each other. it's obvious that you two aren't over it."
"we are." your voice is quieter now, a fact that doesn't go unmissed by your friend.
"then maybe that's a conversation to have between you and him, yeah?" as if waiting for a cue, you and layla's phones both chimed, and you saw messages from the trip groupchat, as well as some unread ones from your inazuma friends. you'd fill them in later.
the place in question was a restaurant called the good hunter, one that albedo insisted was extremely popular with the locals. his recommendation proved to be right, too, judging by how busy it was around lunchtime. it was absolutely packed, the aroma of food making your mouth water as soon as you stepped in. you hadn't even realised just how hungry you were, but this was much appreciated.
albedo himself was nice enough, but there was something about him that reminded you a little too much of alhaitham for you liking. as for the man himself, he had arrived late, ending up wedged in one of the only seats left- right next to you.
the sheer volume of people talking in such a small place made this bustling restaurant... surprisingly private. albedo was seated at the other end of the table, telling your friends some story along with the help of kaveh's dramatic reenactment, and you could barely hear what the pair of them were saying.
and with everyone else's attention elsewhere, it was easy for alhaitham to scoot closer to you, leaning down so that his face is level with yours.
you don't pull away, but you eye the man warily. you never really knew what to expect with him, after all. his words and his actions told two different stories.
"so, you're getting back with cyno?"
you're glad that you weren't eating, otherwise you would have coughed everything out upon hearing that. you choke on your water, though, and you hate that alhaitham instinctively pats your back as you recover. his palms are warm against your bare skin, and you wish that you hadn't worn something that left you so exposed. you hated the fact that you found his touch soothing even more.
"who told you that?" you rasp out after finally catching your breath. his fingers linger against you a touch too long, and there's a flash of something akin to... remorse? in his eyes as he peels his hand away from your back. it feels cold without his touch.
"were you not... never mind then." you look at him, confused now. all of the mixed messages that he was throwing you in the past couple days was making your head spin.
"why the sudden interest? i thought you didn't like me." he looks confused now, more than anything, and in any other circumstance you would laugh at the way he gaped at you. it's a long few seconds before his head falls forward, his arms uncrossing to let his fingers pinch at the bridge of his nose oh-so delicately.
"i said to move on because i didn't want you or cyno to get hurt again."
"...oh."
"yes, oh."
"and not because you didn't like me?"
"...quite the opposite." alhaitham peeks up at you now, his expression uncertain, and you feel like you can finally read him. he sounded a lot softer now, the drone of everyone else in this restaurant fading away, and it felt like just the two of you again.
"then... why did you act like that yesterday?" his face scrunched up, a frown forming at your question.
"i don't know." disbelief was an emotion that you were beginning to strongly associate with alhaitham. "i thought that it wouldn't be right to tell you."
"but that didn't stop you from kissing me." he paused, looking away bashfully, before he meets your eyes again.
"that was an oversight on my part. it shouldn't have happened." the urge to rip your hair out was beginning to grow. instead, you laughed lowly, focusing your attention to the food on your plate. you really weren't hungry, but anything was better than looking at him right now.
"i'm sorry, y/n." you pick at the food on your plate with your fork, watching as it drops back down with a plop. "this won't end well, you'll both get your hearts broken again." you couldn't help but laugh at the stupidity of this entire situation.
"and what about yours, alhaitham? don't act like you're doing me such a favour by being a pussy." you spit out that last word with more venom than was probably necessary, if the way that alhaitham flinched away was any indicator. his mouth opened, and you watched him flounder for a little, but it was cut short by nilou calling your name from across the table.
you plaster what you hope is a convincing smile on your face, idly responding and ignoring the rising tide of emotions within you in favour of tuning in to the recollection of akademiya stories that your friends were relaying.
the rest of your time in the restaurant, greeting and saying goodbye to albedo, walking back to the hostel with your friends, felt like you were in some third person mode, the overbearing weight of alhaitham's inadverted confession leaving you well and truly stunned.
what now? he likes you but he's made it more than clear that he won't do anything about it. you're stuck between a rock and a hard place.
you find yourself staring down your reflection in the bathroom, once again having your inner thoughts consumed by the infuriating gray-haired man.
and like a severe case of deja vu, cyno slips into the bathroom the same time as you, his hip bumping against yours as he sidles up next to you.
"hey."
"hi." your voices sounds flat even to your ears, but cyno merely smiles at your greeting. he takes his precious moments to get his toothbrush, squeeze out some toothpaste onto it, before he turns to you- ever so casual, deliberately light tone.
"i don't have a movie to watch, but... would you want to sleep in my bed tonight?" you lock eyes with him through the mirror, those amber eyes boring into you, imploring you for an answer. cyno had always been good at that- wrangling some answer out of you that you didn't even know was there.
it's quiet, save for the water running from the tap as he wers his brush. it gives you time to think. temptation was not an ugly man- he had a sweet smile and a promise of familiarity, and you decided that that's what you needed right now.
"yeah, i'll get in after you." cyno beams, eyes crinkling with the intensity, and that's all that needs to be said for the rest of your time shared in the bathroom.
and then he's gone again, so quick that you have to reassure yourself that he was ever there at all, and you repeat the steps that he went through, washing your face, before turning to the door leading to all of the beds.
you really needed to update your friends about this. but it could wait.
✦ ⠂⠂୨୧ trivia :: despite majoring in chemistry and not architecture, albedo was able to increase kaveh's grades to solid a's while tutoring him
✦ ⠂⠂୨୧ gia's notes :: uhm. i don't have anything to yap about for once lol. my stomach hurts. ooh i know what to say cyno fuckers lovers yall are in for a TREAT next chapter 🙈 now give me one billion gajillion notes or i wont post it 🔫 also the haitham drama is over (?) now yay!!! he's emotionally constipated and rationalises his feelings away ok guys everybody makes mistakes 😞
✦ ⠂⠂୨୧ taglist :: @makimakimi @aeongiies @sukunasrealgf @ssoliva @sakiimeo @eggn0gcookie @yxcade @fiona782 @heartswonder @eunchaeluvr @clumsyphuq @pinksodacan @aelxr @themusingsofmany @obervation-subject-753 @kittycasie @aimno256 @maxineshearts @mafuyuslover @meigalaxy @mintydump @v4lerixxq @artwitchh @geo-hew-hew @imkaaayy @c4tsfr0mh3ll @kokoscutie @erzarq @eu-la @ddiluc @ichikaisflowers @rahhhmen @esmetrees @rain-and-a-nice-nap @g8mmaaa @wuthering-seas
#୨୧ gia.txt :: all i think about now!#cyno smau#cyno x reader smau#cyno angst#cyno x reader smut#genshin cyno x reader#cyno smut#cyno x you#cyno fluff#cyno x reader#genshin cyno#genshin x reader smau#genshin impact fluff#genshin angst#genshin impact angst#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact smut#genshin fanfic#genshin smut#genshin x reader#alhaitham x reader fluff#alhaitham smau#genshin alhaitham x reader#alhaitham x reader smut#alhaitham fluff#alhaitham smut#genshin alhaitham#alhaitham x reader#alhaitham angst
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Can I make a digitsona mayhaps 👉 👈
for sure!!
i'll clarify some deets for folks that might be interested:
digit isn't technically an open species in the traditional sense (he's sort of special being my shop mascot and all) but i don't mind either fanart or fansonas!
it's sort of basic courtesy rules - don't go selling merch of your digitsona or like make some award winning epic fantasy comic with them or something lol. aside from that go nuts!
design wise i do have some rules in my head for when i make other digit characters BUT since again they're not an open species in the traditional sense i don't care if you follow them or not! i'll put them here just in case anyone wants to use them or learn more digit lore!
creatures in digit's species are mimic/parasitic aliens! their appearance is affected by the genetic info their mom collected to produce them. (like those salamanders that steal other salamanders' genes) they're able to change shape and size, but they have a comfortable resting form that they default back to. this form can be affected by the environment they're in to help them adapt. they can live for thousands of years!
• the "helmet" is a must-have, but can be any colour and have any kind of "ears" or none at all. it is technically a removable part, but it is rare for these creatures to take them off as it's sort of symbiotic with them and necessary for them to communicate with one another and survive in space. it morphs along with them when they change shape or size. they're tasked with producing this part of their body as a rite of passage into adulthood! an adult without one is like a hermit crab without a shell (vulnerable and scared!)
digit's helmet-less appearance as an adult is a secret >:)
• most of them have wings and some sort of tail but these can vary in shape and appearance a lot. more or fewer limbs is also common! the tail/helmet/wings are able to change colour and sometimes do based on mood! generally the body is leucistic (lacking pigment). most of them have fur.
• adults generally sit at around housecat size, but much smaller and bigger ones exist! there's a superstition that one as big as the moon is out there somewhere.
• their eyes/face can look like anything - see tamagotchi for inspiration. (digit's family may look like the standard for the species but they're just similar to each other!)
• they can be named anything (doesn't have to end in -git, this is the naming convention for digit's relatives!) generally i stick to cute and short names ^u^
digit (and later pigit) came to earth to make friends and eat food, and ended up deciding to try and grant the wishes of people they meet! being a parasitic species it's in their nature to get attached to other creatures (although in this case it's emotionally) and they try really hard to cheer people up. (imagine a magical girl sidekick animal that was sort of unhelpful and stupid. thats digit)
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"your morning voice is so hot."
[laughs] "what?"
is soooooo evelyn waking up next to callum for the first time. i can just see them being so giggly, giddy, and completely enamored with each other
SWEET, EARLY MORNING LOVE BLURB PROMPT ERA
ev/cal brain rot is so real. spam me with blurb requests for them. and this became like a full one shot + so please enjoyyyy. also not canon compliant? maybe we don't care? maybe i should just throw canon out the window for them and write whatever the fuck we please?
FOR A FORNIGHT THERE WE WERE
warning: smut (because why tf not? ngl. turned myself on writing this)
Her hair was sticking to her forehead as the bass of the music altered her heartbeat, her hands tracing up her body as a smile split across her face. Her friend, Sydney Sweeney, was across from her and matching her movements as they both giggled. Ev drained the rest of her vodka soda and held onto her friend's hand as she made moves towards their roped off table. There were ten other friends enjoying the bottle service, cigarette smoke in the air and lights flashing across their vision.
"Ev, you want one?" She nodded and took the shot from her hand, the liquor burning her throat as it went down, but nothing compared to the blue eyes staring at her across the table. Her and Callum were trying to give this thing between them a real shot because it felt like it deserved one. Their close friends new their flirting wasn't innocent and that they liked to kiss behind closed doors. She had met his mother through FaceTime and when a photo of the sunset she sent to her family group chat last week had half of his smiling face in it, her mother had said he looked handsome and her brother had just straight up asked her if they were dating like TikTok said. He was sick of seeing the same blurry edit of Callum's nose brushing against hers in a London pub.
"I owe Jon a dance and then I'll be right back!" Syd kissed her cheek and was off with her fiancé to the dancefloor. Evelyn looked after them wistfully. She wished she could dance with Callum like that. Throw caution to the wind and let the world know she was moving on from her ex and she was doing so happily. People on the internet were beginning to figure it out. The way the two always seemed to be in the same place at the same time. The way Evelyn was posting photos on intimate vacations, and no one had seen any evidence to suggest her family or team were with her, so it had to be a new man. Deuxmoi was posting blind items that she had moved on before her marriage was legally dissolved and a Sunday Spotted involving her at a Chelsea football match had sent social media into a tailspin. She looked over her shoulder at the man in question who was already making his way towards her.
"You want to dance with me?" he had to yell so she could hear him over the music.
"We can't!" she yelled back as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. In the morning, she would learn someone was shopping around a photo of the moment.
"Friends dance with each other all the time. Let's go!" He offered her no chance to object, her hands wrapping around the forearm across her chest as they bounced their way out to the dancefloor. His hand lifted hers and urged her in a twirl, her laugh contagious as she wrapped her arms around his neck and his slid to the small of her back. Her hips swiveled to the beat of the Latin music pounding through the speakers as his hands started to drift lower and lower. Evelyn moaned as he bent his knees so her chest could press against his while his hands locked around her ass cheeks to lift her to his height. "Evvie, my baby," he mumbled as his lips ghosted over hers.
"You're going to get me in so much trouble." She meant it but for the moment didn't care as she kissed the tip of his nose. Certainly, her ex was going to use these photos and videos against her when they were due back in court. Certainly, she was going to wake up to angry texts from her lawyer and publicist alike. "I should go home before I do something too crazy," she said sadly as he dropped her back to her feet.
"Come back to my place. I'll take the couch." Callum brought her hand to his lips and looked at her with the most loving and tender eyes she had ever seen in her life.
"Ok," she giggled, unable to stop herself from letting her fingertips trace down his cheek.
It was raining when they snuck out the back of the club, Evelyn's security shielding her from the stray fans that had heard where she was on Twitter and were seeking just a glimpse of her. Callum walked a few steps behind, his face seemingly set in stone as the crowd called her name and a few flashes lit up the early morning sky.
"Oh my fucking God, it's Callum!"
"Are they really leaving together?"
"They are getting in the same car! Try and tell me they aren't dating!"
She shielded her eyes and said her thanks as the car door was opened for her, her form lingering in the doorway as she waited for Callum to catch up. His smile could power the world's electricity as he realized she wasn't shying away from being seen with him like this. She reached her hand out for him and he took it, Evelyn pulling him into the backseat of the car with a devious smirk that was all caught on camera. A few people that pushed their way towards the car were able to capture one or two images of his hand wrapping around her thigh, her legs thrown over his lap and a smile on her face as he was leaning in for a kiss as the door was closed and they sped off into the London night.
"I'll need to borrow some clothes," she said breathlessly as his lips detached from hers. Her red dress was clinging to her skin from the rain and he saw nothing wrong with the sight. Couldn't think of anything wrong with the thoughts of her in his shirt either.
"Can't wait to fucking see you in my shirt," he mumbled into her neck as she felt his tongue work against the skin. Desire was beginning to spark between her legs. A comfortable sensation of her body warming up and opening itself up to the ministrations of the man next to her.
"This dress isn't enough for you?" Her hands tilted his face so he was looking at her again. Evelyn wanted to kiss him sloppy and dirty and viciously but was very aware of the driver and her security in the passenger seat. They could of course keep a secret but she wanted to at least try to be polite.
"Everyone gets to see you in that dress. Only I am going to get to see you in my shirt."
"How the fuck do you always say the right thing?" No longer caring about propriety, she was in his lap and moaning around his tongue before he had even processed the words. Her fingers were tugging at the hair at the nape of his neck and his palm slide up the hem of her dress, Callum damn near laying her across the back seat when the bare skin of her hip met his touch.
They were in front of his townhouse quickly thereafter, Callum helping her out of the car with a strong hand and squeezing hers so tightly as they walked towards his front door. He couldn't help but think he was dreaming. That having her with him like this would all be gone in the morning and that he needed to savor it for as long as he possibly could. Savor the feeling of falling in love with someone who deserved it. Falling in love with someone as beautiful inside and out as her. Falling in love with the woman of his dreams and getting the chance to prove he could care for her and protect her and love her until his dying breath.
She shivered in the entryway as knelt down to help her remove her heels, Golo sniffing at her enthusiastically. "I'm going to need so many blankets, Cal." He rubbed his hands up and down her arms to aid in warming her up.
"We can start by getting you out of this wet dress." They couldn't help but stop more than once in the hallway towards his bedroom to kiss each other softly. To test the waters of hooking her leg around his waist. Test the waters of her fingers tracing along the band of his boxers.
"Let's get you out of this," he murmured as his finger lifted the thin strap of her dress and slid it down her arm. Evelyn was looking up at him with lust-filled eyes, her bottom lip between her teeth and her fingers still tracing patterns just below his belly button. He kissed her slower this time. His tongue opening her up slowly and spit roping between them every time they pulled away.
"I want that navy blue Carhartt one you wore on our first date," she requested as her pointer finger traced up and down the front his throat.
"Right this way." She followed him to this bedroom, plopping down onto his bed as he began rifling through his dresser to find the shirt she had requested. "Might this be the one, my lady?" Ev nodded with a smile, ready to strip tease her way out of this dress, when Golo could be heard barking from the front door. "I need to let him out one more time tonight. I'll be right back, I promise." He kissed her once, pulled away, then let Ev pull him back in for two more.
"Be quick," she whispered. She changed while she waited, lying back down onto his bed and burrow her nose against the comforter that smelled like him and made her ache with need for him in a carnal manner. The scent of him reminded her clit that she had wanted attention earlier but hadn't been given it. Evelyn closed her eyes as her fingers danced down her stomach and ghosted over the bundle of nerves. She hummed with the slight relief, slipping her fingers to collect her arousal before spreading over the hood of her clit at the top of her pussy. Her movements stayed soft and light as she found her sweet spot just to the left and teased it gently. "Fuck."
Her knees dropped completely to the side and landed on the bed, the doorway in perfect view for whenever he made it back. Oh she wanted to look so pretty for him. Her pink and wet cunt on full display for him. Pulsing and leaking for him. Her fingertips tracing his name over her clit as her body felt weightless.
"Fuck, Ev." She didn't stop as she looked to see him watching, his leather jacket shrugging from his shoulders. The sight of him rolling up the sleeves of his shirt almost enough to make her come. "You want my help, baby?" He knelt on the floor in front of her, his eyes transfixed on the movements of her fingers as she was no longer chasing release and was just keeping herself warm and ready for him.
"Taste me," she whispered as she sat up on her forearms and offered two of her fingers to his lips. His hand wrapped around her wrist and brought them to his tongue. He moaned as the taste hit all his sense. Coated his tongue in her pleasure. Altered the synapses of his brain to chase this taste and nothing else. "It's all for you, Cal. Only wet for you."
"Only ever going to be for me." His palm tapped at her pussy to illustrate the point, the jolt to her clit causing her hips to buck and a moan to slip from her lips. "Let's get you nice and sleepy for bed." He kissed at the soft skin of her inner thighs, licking at juncture where they met her cunt and nipping at the skin so see how easily he could get it to bruise.
Her hand combed through his curls as she settled back with a sigh, the tip of his nose knocking against her clit as he held his tongue flat against her and used the leverage of his arms hooked around her thighs to pull her as close as possible. His tongue flicked against every nook and cranny of the petal soft skin that it could, testing to make sure each taste of her was even sweeter than the last. "Taste like fucking honey, baby." One of her hands slipped under her shirt, his shirt, and twisted at her nipple.
"I need more," she whimpered. He took one of her fingers with zero resistance. Another slipped into her warm, wet and wanting pussy just as easily.
"How's that, Evvie?" he checked as he focused on the way her clit was peeking out more and more with each thrust as her arousal built.
"So good, Cal, so good." For his first time between her legs, she was thoroughly impressed with the way his fingers were playing the perfect tune of sexual satisfaction. Her ex had taken months to get anything real from her. And even then she was always forced to play with her own clit or coach him through use her vibrator on her. He was never able to do it himself.
He buried his knuckles to the hilt of her, moving up the bed so her head was resting on his shoulder as he moved his fingers again, the heel of his palm grinding against her clit. Ev threw her head back and wished she could record the sounds of his fingers burying themselves in her soaked pussy over and over again. The way she could hear how wet he was making her. Hear the sound of his hand slapping against her. The squeak of his bedframe. The moans that were getting caught in her throat as the tension in the bottom of her belly was growing and spreading.
"Let me look at you, princess," he cooed as he felt her walls flutter around him with the early signs of her orgasm. "Keep your eyes on me. That's a good girl."
"Cal," she whined as it was building to a breaking point. She took the hand from around her waist and wrapped both of hers around it, using it as her anchor. "Don't stop, don't stop. I'm going to fucking come." With a sharp intake of her breath, a shuddering moan fell from her lips. Callum quickly flattened four fingers against her clit and rubbed as her eyes rolled to the back of her head.
"Come on, baby, don't pull away. Take all of it." He forced her thighs back open when she tried to clamp them shut, her breath coming back to her as her hips tried to writhe away from his hand but he wouldn't let her. "You got at least one more in you, Evvie. Keep these beautiful legs nice and open for me." One more turned into two more turned into her returning the favor in the shower turned into Callum fingering her gently to her fourth orgasm of the night while he cradled her in his arms.
She slept like a rock until the sun rose, her phone telling her it was nearing 10 AM, her legs shaking as she threw them over the side of the bed. "Where you going?" Callum mumbled from his spot next to her.
"I have to brush my hair and teeth." Her ex had hated the way her hair knotted when she slept with it down. Hated kissing her with morning breath.
"Give me a kiss first."
"Callum, I have morning breath. Let me-" He sat up and tugged her back against his chest, tilting her chin up and kissing her senseless. Tongue and all.
"I couldn't give less of a fuck," he whispered.
"Your morning voice is so hot," Evelyn remarked as he puckered his lips for another kiss with a laugh.
"What?" She giggled and settled her head back against the pillows, his head rested on his hand as he was on his side next to her.
"It's deeper and raspier and the same way you love that only you get to see me in your shirt, only I get to hear your voice like this when you first wake up. It makes me happy."
"I'm happy if you're happy." She kissed his forearm and nodded with the smile that could only be described as youthful abandon.
"Happier than I've been in a long time."
#callum turner#callum turner fanfiction#callum turner x oc#callum turner fanfic#callum turner fic#answered#evelyn
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How Other Great Detectives Would Solve the Riddler Murders
A series I do sometimes. This is based on The Batman (2022). I will be assuming that none of these universes have already established superheroes and supervillains unless it's also in that canon.
Sam Vimes: The Watch as a whole might solve the case, but Vimes is going to be in the wrong headspace. Carcer was bad enough as playful serial killers go, but a serial killer who liked Sam Vimes and wanted to be his best buddy? I think that would make Vimes need his own stay in Arkham.
Sam and Peter: This one is my favorite, it works so horribly well! The Riddler, having been a huge fan of American Vandal, addresses his messages to these two teenage goobers (and it is in fact in the form of vandalism.) Selina ends up saving their lives due to secondhand embarassment when she sees them trying to interview Carmine Falcone about whether he was on any Gothamite subreddits. (Oswald Cobblepot was happy to talk to them about it!) It all comes down to whether the pressure of stopping a serial killer causes the boys to bloom or break, and I'd like to hope it would be the former.
Phryne Fisher: I totally get why the Riddler would fixate on and write letters to Phryne, she's a very good person to fixate on and write letters to! (I've often said she's like if Catwoman were Batman.) Phryne sleeps with Selina and gets surprisingly flirtatious with Oswald. Having already taken down a cocaine ring, she knows enough to honeypot her way into the lower floor of the Iceberg, and very narrowly avoids death at the hands of Falcone. She can solve riddles easily enough, though I don't know if she'd put them together in time to stop the flooding of the city. I'll call this success with a similar casualty rate to Batman's.
Sammy Keyes: This one is a real dick move on the Riddler's part. Addressing your serial killer messages to a tween girl who'd been involved in catching other criminals, thus revealing she's living in an apartment illegally and potentially getting her taken away by social services? It's absolutely something he would do to make a broader social point, but still it's a serious dick move. I think Sammy is way out of her depth here but I want her to succeed because I love the idea of subsequent Sammy Keys books having recurring characters that include the one cop slightly sympathetic to her, the junior high mean girl, and the serial killer who sends her cryptic letters from incarceration.
L: I just know that somehow this is going to involve Edward Nasthon, Forensic CPA, being on the team to catch the Riddler and him and L having a vaguely but unconsumatedly homoerotic dance between friend and enemy. I don't think he'd want to kill L, though, since he'd rather have him alive to acknowledge him as the smartest coolest guy ever, so I'll give L the edge here.
Jane Marple: No matter how I twist it, I just can't see a scenario in which the Riddler would send serial killer messages to Miss Marple. Instead, I think Edward Nashton would just meet her at a tea shop, they'd have a friendly conversation about the novel she's reading, and then she'd call up the police and tell them she's found the Riddler.
Columbo: This isn't a great setup for Columbo, since his method of detection is all about catching people in their lies, which is hard to do with a killer who is a nobody and who keeps to the shadows. He would definitely put Falcone away in the course of the investigation, but I don't know if that's enough to stop the grander scheme in play. If he does catch him, though, he would stop the flood because Edward Nashton would be SO vulnerable to casual conversations about hypothetical approaches to crime.
Philip Marlowe: I think Marlowe would kind of work his way backwards here. He'd get deep into the grime of Gotham, end up stopping a plot to flood the city, follow that up by an investigation into the mob and unconsummated sexual tension with Selina, just barely escape getting murdered by Falcone, get hit on the head by Cobblepot and have hallucinations involving penguins with umbrellas, then finally catch Edward Nashton, the petty little nobody who killed people to make himself feel like somebody.
Dale Cooper: This is a good case for Cooper, lots of subplots that lead into other subplots, nothing overtly supernatural but a vague general feeling of curses and doom. He would find deeper meaning in all the coded riddles that pointed to dark truths about the universe, topped off with dreams of cats and penguins doing his taxes. I sure hope the Riddler is willing to wait for all that before flooding the city, because Coop works at his own damn pace.
Hercule Poirot: I can see Poirot fitting in to the art deco Gotham of the animated series, but the modernist urban grime of the 2021 film is viscerally unpleasant to imagine him in. He could solve the riddles and aid the police, certainly, but more than any of the other detectives, my mind is rebelling against my attempts to imagine these people in the same room at the same time.
Sam Spade: Selina Kyle hires him to help get her friend out of a jam at the same time as Cobblepot hires him to get a few murders discreetly solved before the cops get too nosy, and then Falcone tries to have him whacked when he gets too close on both accounts. The Riddler would take him completely by surprise, but I'm having so much fun imagining Edward Nashton looking up at him with big Peter Lorre eyes and babbling about what crime really means that I'll allow him to at least stick around for that. I think he can get out of this still alive, but it would be a close call.
Kinsey Milhone: Why her, she wonders? Sure, she's a detective, but she's hardly a household name. She goes through all her files to see if this could be connected to anything she's ever worked on, and lo and behold, back when she was an insurance fraud investigator, they always worked with a forensic CPA named Edward Nashton. Now, what could have ever become of that guy...
Sherlock Holmes: Sherlock Holmes either immediately solves this or fails utterly, and it all comes down to how quickly you think he could decode things using a computer.
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"I don't think there are many people out there whose opinion of him Max holds higher than Charles'"
/
Exactly, and I think Max values Charles' opinion a lot in general. That's why Max likes chatting with him so often.
He'll do a post race/quali chat with anyone he's on the podium with, but usually it's a pretty quick, surface level chat. He only ever really gets into it with Charles, probably because they both nerd out about it in the same way, and Max can't talk shop with the other drivers because most of them are either not that interested in talking about the details, or don't analyze the track the same way Max does.
Exactly, anon!
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THE BAR OF LOVE
Seb owns a club in central London. One day the car of the two friends, Logan and Oscar, breaks down. Walking inside the club 'Vettle' they did not know that they would get intertwined with all of their drama.
A/N: Contains, Lestappen. Landoscar, Carlando, Yukierre and more.
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It was a rainy day in central London, like it was most of the times in the city. The streets were gray and the lights were on. Everywhere you looked, you could see people seeking for cover under umbrellas, their faces bent down against the rain. The sound of dripping water and the traffic filled the air, everyone hurrying to get home.
Oscar and Logan were no exception. They stood under the light of a small street lamp, trying to stay dry as they surveyed the broken-down car. Oscar held an umbrella above his own head and Logan's, struggling to keep it from turning inside out in the strong wind. Logan knelt down beside the car, his eyes scanning the motor as if it was going to magically fix itself. "I don't see what's wrong, we need to get it to the garage," he muttered, his voice muffled by the fabric of his sweater.
Oscar shook his head, water dripping from his hair. "I don't think any garages are open anymore this time. Maybe we should just get a hotel room and get it fixed tomorrow." He closed the hood of the car and took a step back, his eyes scanning the surrounding streets for any sign of life. But everything seemed deserted, as if the rain had chased away even the most hardy of souls.
" Can we just go to a bar? I fancy a drink after this day." Logan gets off from the groan and pets of his pants. The two friends had been on a road trip through Europe for weeks now, and things had been going awry from the start. They had arrived in Belgium with half their luggage missing, thank the airport for that. And then there was the fake apartment in Italy, which they had only discovered when they arrived at the address and found themselves staring at the brick wall. Logan's laptop had gone missing during their stop in Spain, and they had spent hours trying to track it down before finally giving up. And to top it all off, they had gotten into a coffee shop in Amsterdam that turned out not to sell coffee, but some other things. And right now, the car is broken down.
They look around again, this time trying to spot any building with loud music and the smell of alcohol. Oscar's eyes land on a club on the other side of the street. You could hear some soft music and he wonders how that place isn't taken down. As he takes a closer look, he notices that the club's name, "Vettel", is written out in big red letters above the door, illuminated by a bright neon sign that seems to glow with an otherworldly intensity. "Let's go there," Oscar says, his voice low and urgent as he points across the street. Logan follows his gaze, his eyes scanning the club with a mixture of skepticism and curiosity. He can see a few people milling around outside, laughing and chatting as they wait in line or stand at the bar. It looks pretty promising. "Yeah, okay," Logan says, nodding in agreement as they make their way towards the club. As they approach the door, they can hear the music growing louder and more defined, and Oscar can feel the beat pounding in his chest.
As they entered the building, they were immediately hit by a bright, blinding light that seemed to come from the ceiling. The air was electric with the energy of a thousand people. Everywhere they looked, they saw people dancing with each other, laughing and drinking their favorite cocktails. The music was loud and pulsating, with beats that seemed to reverberate deep within their chest.
The couple made their way through the throng of people, their eyes scanning the room for a spot to grab a drink. They eventually made their way to the bar, where they were greeted by a bartender with dark, curly hair and arms covered in different tattoos. He had a warm, friendly smile on his face as he asked, "What can I get for you sweetheart?" The couple exchanged a look, and then turned back to him. "We'll have two beers, please," they replied in unison. The man nodded and went to get two beers from the tap. Oscar took a good look at the bar. There were two other bartenders next to the smiley man. The other was dressed in a red blouse and was making a gin and tonic. He looks like a model and not someone who worked behind a bar. When he looked at the third he couldn't help the blush that formed on his cheeks. The white blouse he was wearing was pulled up to the elbows and the first three buttons were unbuttoned. He was tan and had a beautiful face. Logan had to slap him to stop Oscar from staring.
The bartender walked back to them and gave them their beers. They both thank him and Oscar takes a sip, the cold beverage hitting the back of his throat is a pleasant way. He needed this. "Do you maybe know where we can get our car fixed?" Logan asks the man as he pays for both of the beers.
" There is a shop just down the road. You can call them and the will tow your car. It is quite expensive thought."
Oscar and Logan thank him and walked away, leaving the bartenders to do their jobs.
"Can one of you ask Pierre, Carlos and Max which drink they want? I have to make some cocktails for table 6." Charles asks his coworkers as he takes out the alcohol that he needs for the order.
"I don't want to talk to him." Daniel threw a towel over his shoulder and started to clean some of the dirty glasses. He would rather take a bath in all of these peoples left over drinks then walk up to Max Verstappen and ask him what he wants to drink. Of course he had to ask Pierre and Carlos too, but he didn't have a problem with them.
"You have to get over yourself Dan. What did that man do to you that you don't like him anymore. Did you fuck or something?" Lando meant the last sentence as a joke and Daniel was glad that he wasn't looking at him when he said it. Otherwise he would have spotted the bright blush that had formed on his face. That did happen, five weeks ago and he wished he would get over it. It is not like he had feelings for the man, at least that is what he thought, a pretty sure thought. It is just that Max seemed to totally ignore that it had happened and left him alone the morning after without a note or text. It was a casual hook up and still it hurts him.
"Who did you fuck?" George asks as he takes a seat on one of the bar stools, his eyes fixed on the Australian man with a mixture of curiosity and mischief. George is a stripper at the club, a pretty good one, but Lando would never admit that out loud to his friend. He always just makes jokes about it, trying to get people to laugh at him. George keeps looking at the Australian man, waiting for an answer as he orders a beer from Lando. "You know I never judge," the tallest Brit says with a sly smile as he takes a sip from his beer.
"No one, why is everyone up in my ass today?" Daniel groans out as he walks into the kitchen, seeking a moment alone and away from the chaos. The other three give each other a look of concern and just shrug their shoulders, sensing that Daniel is carrying some weight around. Charles tries to lighten the mood by asking George if he's ready for his set later that night. George gives a thumbs-up, and Charles nods
"I will ask them," Lando walked away towards the three security guards to ask for their drink preference for the night, all did he already know what they wanted. Max always orders a gin and tonic. Lando had laughed the first time the man ordered it. He had expected Max to order a whiskey neat not a tonic. Pierre orders Cognac most of the time, or a brandy. Carlos liked to change it up every time, so he was curious what the Spanish man would order today.
"
READ THE FULL STORY ON MY A3O
#formule 1#formula 1#charles leclerc#max verstappen#f1#carlos sainz#mv1#lestappen#carlando#maxiel#yukierre#landoscar#lando norris#oscar piastri#logan sargeant#yuki tsunoda#pierre gasly#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fanfiction#tumblr#a3o#f1 a3o#f1 fic#f1 fandom
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