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#& reading this made me super happy bc the thought of people thinking about u & sending you something to check on u makes me feel v warm <3
foryourownbosom · 1 year
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Hi Del!! It may be a little out of the blue, but I just wanted to say that I hope life is going well for you at the moment. You deserve good things! Sending good vibes from across the internet :))
HI HELLO DEAR !!! i know im getting back to your lovely ask super late and im sorry for that 😞 this made me feel all warm inside, thank you for writing to me! :") 💌💌 its super sweet of you <33 sending you love across the internet too and i also hope life is doing well for you!!!! 🌟💌
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scarletwix · 6 months
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omg hi its the anon who sent the jasico superhero au that was bouncin round my cranium u posted a response to back in like april if u recall i only just realised i never actually sent anything back but i was reading through my old reblogs and wanted to say the stuff u wrote fucks, like its so neat.
i love the groundworks for the worldbuilding stuff u have set up, mentioning unions and insurance stuff its so cool, and the way u gave nico like a kind of lois lane-ish journalist/possibly blogger idk vibe was stellar.
u mentioned debating whether nico would have powers, and id never considered it but immediately my brain went 'what if he doesnt at first, but gets them later on, has to deal with the implications of that on his life and such, and is just confronted with the truth of jason's secret identity, possibly without jason even knowing' idk u don't have to use that if u do wanna write more with it i just figured id share bc it just instantly popped up nagging my thoughts.
anyway yah it was super awesome to see the little idea that rolled around my mind half formed harassing me turned into something so brilliant!!!
(also ty for posting nimona stuff all over my dash ive wanted to watch it and u let me know that it actually came out lol)
OMG NONNY HI HOW DID I MISS THIS
WELCOME BACK TO THE CIRCUS this au has not left my mind literally every time I hear "Last of the Real Ones" by FoB my brain screeches away from whatever I'm writing and straight into jasico superhero au
I'm so glad you enjoyed it!! That makes me so happy to hear :D as for the worldbuilding I was blatantly inspired by the book Hench by Natalie Zina Walschots, but I took it in a different direction. The idea of Superhero unions fascinates me, and looking at a world and going "how would people react if this became a normal thing" is something I find really fun when doing worldbuilding.
And yay! I struggled a bit trying to decide what Nico was doing and decided Journalism Major fit his vibes enough that I wanted to run with it!! I hadn't even considered the Lois angle but aslksdflfk that's so fun. Too bad his superman made a terrible impression ey?
also that is a DELIGHTFUL idea. I love having to explore the repercussions of suddenly being at the same caliber of power as the heroes he writes about, trying to decide whether or not he's going to DO anything about this information... Mmmm I love that.
I had given it a lot of thought and my main sticking point was "do I want Bianca to also be alive in this au" because my initial thought was that a lot of Nico's trepidation towards heroes comes from the fact that Bianca was one and was either injured too badly in the line of duty to continue heroing, or was killed outright. I thought it would be interesting to see Nico grappling with that aspect of his sister who he looked up to, and what that profession eventually cost her, especially if she was just too injured to keep going, which would leave room for Nico's initial hero worship of Tonitro while also giving him the skepticism of "this is an inherently unfair system." In the end it didn't matter much to the snippet itself, but if/when I go back and write more (I'll be honest it's not even an if or a when because it's just so much fun for me that I have written a few more little snippets here and there of the au, just nothing polished enough to publish lol).
In any case, I was thinking about Nico having powers at the time of the Tonitro & Waterspout teamup in the ficlet and that he could/would use them to try and find Jason and potentially even help with the evacuation effort. I've got half of a scene written in my head that I now think would work really well as an accidental-identity-reveal that Jason doesn't even realize has happened. That is such a fun concept nonny, tyty
Your idea super inspired me, and I have to thank you so much for sending it over!! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it as much as I do :D
(ALSO LOL I HOPE YOU GOT TO WATCH NIMONA what a good movie. So proud of Nate tbh like what a journey he's been on. I remember reading the webcomic on the Nimona website back in the day and it's wild to see how far he's come.)
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alarming-prism · 7 months
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i saw your response to the ask about a fic u wanted more positive engagement on and i just want u to know i read that when i didnt have an ao3 account and have been searching for that fic FOREVER like it drove me so crazy it was so good. like im the type who usually only reads happy endings but it literally plagued my thoughts for MONTHS it was so good.... their relationship was so deliciously awful i think its peak representation of fq during their era of nothing but raw hurt and festering resentment from misunderstandings and all the outside factors stressing them out.... so excited to watch fxmq irreparably hurt and damage each other.... also yes the writing was a bit confusing but like in a good way,,,, like if it had been less vague and more clear i feel like it wouldnt have been as enjoyable bc that writing style really fit the vibe of the story, it kind of pulled it all together ykwim? like i really loved how u wrote it i think it was perfect as is, i cant think of a single possible thing that could make it even better.... yeah, tbh just for all your fics, u have this way of setting a kind of atmosphere throughout that just really brings the whole story together, like i noticed it in the mq toy store employee fic and the broken threads fic too. im not articulate enough to identify or describe what it is exactly that u do, but u do it sososososoooooo well it drives me crazy. youre amazing <33 ok ummmm i love all your writing and i will easily wait another 10 years for a hint of a second chapter for this fic or any other works by u, so please take your time without worry, i hope u have an amazing day/night, byeeee :3 <3
i'll have you know that i had a super rough day yesterday + i'm currently sick rn and when i got this ask i started to tear up. you get me and you get exactly what i'm going for. i understand wanting happy endings but i'm also desperate to explore the part of fengqing that's in continuous conflict not through any fault of their own but because of their circumstances + who they are as people,, and i know that's not for everyone but it makes me so happy that you understand what i'm trying to do here lmao.
i think i'll legitimately have to rethink my entire life if it takes me ten years to finish the second chapter, but i just checked my fic tracking doc and i started it back in february so uhh. i can't make any promises but this did make me open up that doc again and nanowrimo is coming up so i'll have to work on something or other. and every time i actually start thinking about this fic again i start to go insane. i think last time i worked on it i made myself cry? i'm definitely just oversharing at this point but.
idk just. thank you so much for sending such a long, heartfelt ask. it made a shitty day infinitely better. i hope you have an amazing day/night right back <3
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saetoru · 1 year
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hi! im so incredibly sorry to bother you but i think you may have blocked one of my other blogs and i was wondering if i could ask why?
please don’t feel pressured to answer whatsoever and definitely feel free to ignore this, i really don’t want to trouble you in any way. i just wanted to know if i did anything wrong or something to offend you?
i really try my hardest to stay neutral and friendly as well as respecting and following everyone else’s blog rules so i’d really appreciate any feedback or insight if you’re happy to give it. whatever i did, once again, im so incredibly sorry to bother you, i don’t mean any harm at all, ever. if i did something to offend you, it was never intentional, all i really try to do on tumblr is rb pictures of cats most of the time anyways.
please don’t take this the wrong way, it just makes me super anxious that i might’ve done something to someone that may have hurt them or made them uncomfortable. i really loved your writing and your blog and i can’t apologise enough if i messed up or anything. of course, i totally understand that sometimes people just choose to block people for their own reasons and i respect that no matter what. i’m incredibly sorry if i encroached on your boundaries in any way, i just really held your writing close to my heart and it saddens me that i can’t view it anymore. but that isn’t your fault whatsoever. i respect you so much as a writer and a person and i just wanted to say that i’m really sorry if i did anything. i’m sorry tee.
okay bestie i can’t rly tell unless u share ur url tho 😭 but honestly sometimes ppl leave comments or tags that make me feel weird / annoy me — i’m human and sometimes i block over petty reasons (i’m working on it fjsjfj) but overall i like to think i block with decent cause so unless ur ageless, you’ve probably said something to slightly (or perhaps highly) irritate me or you may have spam liked ?? idrk unless i see ur url tbh. i mean if u send me ur url i won’t post it and if i can’t recall why ur blocked i might as well unblock (as long as ur age is present)
anyway if i block u i’m not saying everyone should come swarm me with “can i ask why” bc that would be annoying but sometimes writers are human and sometimes we block for dumb reasons and if you think perhaps you haven’t rly done anything worth blocking besides maybe me taking out a bad mood on a slightly accidentally annoying thing u did, i might just unblock if ur url doesn’t ring a bell in my mind for something memorably obnoxious. especially if u think it’s bc u didn’t have an age in ur bio before—some of u don’t know to do that till after and i get that !!—im happy to unblock if you’ve since then added an age. but again this isn’t an open invitation for all blocked blogs (id assume ur lurking if ur blocked and reading this LMAO) to come ask me why or for an unblock but sometimes if u rly believe you’ve been blocked by mistake or for a petty reason i’m willing to check is all i’ll say
anyway yeah if u see this send ur url—be mindful of any comments or tags u leave, sometimes u might be unintentionally a bit rude and that could be a big reason why !! also don’t spam like i rly rly hate that
edit: i appreciate the kind comments about my writing NFJSJF i thought i’d add that in bc ofc sharing writing is the main reason im here and hearing u enjoy it and such is nice to know. thank u for reading and thinking highly of it that’s rly sweet <3
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hobimo · 28 days
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sorry if i keep sending you asks i think it would feel a lil weird to dm bc my accounts on sns tend to be kind of throwaway accounts bc i don't know how to build an online presence prob freaks ppl out lol but yeah exactly you can tell that a lot of new jikookers experienced fan fiction for the first time with jikook so they just be reading and writing whatever. no critical thinking just big cocks and alpha knots is what it takes. the thing is that imo years ago you used to like a pairing and then get inspired by them to make up stories/characters, whereas i feel that now jikookers first and foremost see jm and jk's relationship and personalities in That specific way and it translates to fics as well. they keep saying it's just fiction but i don't buy it lmao i think it's the opposite so yeah it kinda fucks the whole thing up yk. OH btw i know that author!!! i have one of their naruto fics saved in my bookmarks so i'm def familiar w them, i'll check it out! ty <3
(i'll censor the names just in case) yeah they're rly good! hmm rk1ve1nk did an interesting spin on omegaverse in Forest,F1re. very animalistic even though the characters were made in a lab, super unique fic. Mo0nJar by them too is pretty cool. changing genres completely, user cartograph1c writes these weird lil fics, def recommended!!
HEELLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i swear i get so excited when i see you in my inbox hello hello hello
yessssss surveycorpsjean has been Around writing bangers. i am just discovering bakudeku the last few months tho so im extra insane about them 👍also recommend watching trigun for normal reasons (please. please please please please we need more people with trigun brainrot. if u like the hanged man archetype and characters doomed by the narratve and tragic siblings you will Love trigun.)
thank you very much for the fic recs!!!!!!! i have heard of the first author but cant think of the fic ive read so i will check it out. im such a fucking sucker for super animalistic a/b/o..... that furry shit is so good
i have so many thoughts about the way people talk and think about jimin these days but im so scared putting them on public posts will get me doxxed or some shit. people are very attached to the idea that jimin acts openly queer which is really like. well. yeah. i definitely think people reallyyyy need to remember it doesnt matter how much you believe someone famous is queer theyre just presenting in a way that makes them happy and you really do NOT need to decide whether that's queer or not lmao in fact i think it says way more about someone when they decide he's queer because he doesnt act like a "typical man". like yeah in his performances obviously he explores gender some times but like sometimes songwriters are also exploring themes and thoughts that are purely creative. sometimes its not about them (and sometimes it is!) but. yeah. you can PERCEIVE him as queer if it makes you happy but you gotta remember thats not fact thats just what YOU think. yknow. and i also think this translates kinda into the fic people consume and create.
like here's the thing. people dont need to ACT a certain way to be considered men like thats ridiculous if youre a man youre a man regardless of how you act or what u say or what bits you have. same for any gender. which is why i generally think critiquing the cringey wattpad fics is a slippery slope. however, do i also think a lot of them have a very distinct cishet girl fantasy..... yes. but its embarrassing to write Y/N fic. so theyve gotta vent their desires somehow which is like fine i dont give a shit what people write. (as much as it bothers me how uncritically people read it and get it popular) but sometimes in a/b/o especially....... its VERY clear when your biases come out. which is why its sooooooooo obvious when someone who has never met real life queer people writes it. for example grouping "women and omegas" like they fill the same role despite being different subgenders when u could specify like. omegas and female betas. if u wanted. implying that women are still women even if theyre alpha but omegas are not men anymore. you get me? the fact that u decided to include male/female gender essentialism in the fic genre specifically around Not doing that is so unbelievably on the nose. and yet i see it everywhere. (i also think this is a symptom of people never having read other fandoms tho. they dont even know about gock [girl cock]).
also fics where the major antagonists are a group of girls that harrass jimin r super mean bc god we cant have a MAN do that or he's a predator. you get me? and the alpha jk who is quiet and broody and doesnt even HAVE to fight bc he's soooooooo strong the other alphas are just scared of his vibes. like you know the type of fic im describing. in general whenever the major antagonist of the fic is a bunch of women who also want to fuck jk (which like. if we're supposed to believe jk is soooo hot... like. they should?) and the author calls them a "gaggle" of women and emphasises how they "giggle" and their high pitched unpleasant voices..... brother we have some serious internalised misogyny to unpack with that one.
sorry this is such a massive rant I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS. IVE READ SO MUCH BAD FIC IVE NOTICED SO MUCH
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dalishthunder · 11 months
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😂 I haven't written in a while so it's a bit rough, but if you'd like I suppose I could send it to you once I finish? Would have to edit a bit as it's originally between him and my ldb OC, but I could make it x gn!reader/ldb. Halfway done already, would just be changing some pronouns lol
And ooooh I half thought Garill was an oc u made for H&G (I haven't managed to stick through any of my playthroughs long enough to get to Neb's personal quest, or hear about Camia, despite wanting to uncover it all for myself in-game. Partly because I can't stop modding, aka breaking, my game). I'm determined to get to it in this latest playthrough though so wish me luck and restraint lol. Also I feel you on the silent judgy friend – that's me, I'm the judgy friend 😭😭 tryna work on it tho, "if they didn't ask then stfu"
I think the comedy ur weaving into the neb fics is great! Just these little sprinkles of it, just like his personality – sardonic and dry but makes me ugly laugh anyway. Ironic tho how "not even trying" comedy is always the kind that makes us laugh the most
!!! I'm glad u liked the music! And agreed, ritual is SUCH a vibe, literally had it and PWF as my fic's theme song (though the writing has diverged a bit). Your recommendations were really good too, esp You Matter – it was so sweet! I'm not usually big on musical theatre tbh tho – I veer more toward musical movies: the og high school musical, the 2000's Barbie movies, Julie and the Phantoms... (If u ever wanna ugly cry... "Unsaid, Emily". I SOB over that one). But Lindsey Stirling!! That one was AMAZING. I was really into her about three years ago – Shatter Me, Brave Enough, and Artemis were some of my favourite albums. But also I just realised I'm literally writing an essay at this point I'm sorry I got too excited lol I'm glad my little asks were making u happy tho!
I'm more than happy to read anything you've written even if it isn't x reader! I just love this skrunkly man
Garill really only has a few lines of dialogue, but it's pretty evident that they've known each other for a while and are probably pretty good friends, and honestly that's so fucking valid! Skyrim is a massive game and the only things that make it worthwhile at this point are mods bc like.... idk skyrim is kind of soulless without them. Also I too am the judgey friend so i tried channeling that sort of "I'm not going to tell you what to do with your life bc those are your mistakes to make, but homie don't be fucking stupid."
Thank you so much frfrfr!!! 🥺🥺🥺 I love making people laugh just as much (or even more) as making people hurt with angst!
Yooooo I love musical theater but it's like... only sometimes. I go through bursts. I'm not a huge movie person, I frequently get super distracted unless im actively engaged with whatever im doing so sometimes people get frustrated when i dont get references or know actors haha.
Literally never apologize for writing essays I love them so much!!!!! I always get super excited whenever people want to talk to me! I am basically a siamese cat who gets people sick when their human has to take a shower so they just scream
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taelme · 2 years
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hey its me again! just finished reading a little taste of heaven in one sitting (istg your fics are keeping me occupied more than my homeworks do and im even thankful for that) and once again that fic is just so heaven. i have a special spot for parents!nct fics like this especially when they are abt the fluff and all abt the how-to-deal-with-my-child-having-a-new-parent scenario bcs they deliver so much balance of angst and fluff. byul is so so adorable and i love how she was a significant part of the story - its nice seeing how we get to see the pov of the child abt the whole taeyong-yn situation bcs not all fics capture that. again, love how realistic it got until the very end, love how we got to see a couple with the 'right person, wrong time' fate got another chance to reunite and try things again. makes me hope that fate really does exist within us - that as long as we believe and make things work again everything will be ok. also, would like to point out the whole yn parents thing bcs i can relate???? like my parents arnet that conservative but my father... well, he isnt fond of me having romantic relationships at this age (but still had two flings behind his back tho AHHAHAH this is what happens in a strict household) i just love how you showed yn in a vulnerable state during the first part and later on showed how matured she became and how ready she was to take another step with taeyong + convincing her parents that she is indeed happy with him. i also think that if they pursued the relationship instead of taking a break it would only cause more damage for the three of them.
im not in the right age to build a family and its hard living in this economy but your fic just made me think twice abt having a child (this is not me having a breedi- ok thats too much)
this feels more lighthearted than state of grace (maybe bcs of byul's presence) but i super duper love it! feels like im sending a weekly reflection of every fic of yours but idk i just need to let out all of this feels bcs its overwhelming 😭
thank u for letting us experience all of these through your fics <333
🌻🌻
HEYYYY!!! i love this 😭😭😭 so many thoughts were coming to mind when i was reading your review but one of it was that it kind of reminded me of how sometimes you hear people saying that like 'if theyre meant for you they wont pass you by'?? ik some people dont agree with this but that was what i thought of when i was reading this!! honestly. i am lowkey like in love with the 'right person wrong time' trope... especially for the neos like johndoyong! im not entirely sure why but yeah HAHA
yes!! shdhhd strict households raising rebellious/risktaking kids 💀💀 and yes! i love what u pointed out about the possibility of the three of them just continuing their relationship at their own expense and how that could have ended up more damaging for them 😭this is just a little bit of a funny story about when i was writing this but the AMOUNT OF STORIES!! THAT I READ!! abt real life ppl that have gone through this situation like ... i guess that was what showed through little taste of heaven... that at the end of the day its with your own discernment that u continue to move n grow n im so glad u enjoyed it!!!
honestly im rly enjoying these little weekly reflections HAHAHHA so pls feel free to just let it out
thank u for receiving my work so well 😭😭❤️❤️
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cantuscorvi · 2 years
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⚈ What sweet things tend to happen to you from time to time RP wise?
Sweet munday meme ( mfw it's wednesday now but shhh )
⚈ What sweet things tend to happen to you from time to time RP wise?
I want to say everything. Can I say everything? No? Alright okay, some general things:
Anytime someone writes me something unprompted, I am pretty touched. Even if I take a while to respond to it, I will usually read it multiple times. It makes me super happy to know that people think of my silly little blog and want to reach out. ;w;
In the same vein, stuff like art, playlists, moodboards, pinterest boards, etc that are made for our characters/ships - or even just sending each other things that remind of our blogs/muses, gives me life. I love feeling connected! Let's be friends!
And just honestly, anyone who has ever been sweet, thoughtful, or even gremlin-like to me on here, I'm super thankful about it. If you've ever reached out to me, even if I am slow, or forgot to respond properly bc I'm distracted, I appreciate it a lot. You're all sweet af. ily. ;w;
Some specific things:
Niko (@strawberryxdreams) having a framed drawing of Raum's soul at their desk (now protected by 2 little pigs) absolutely sends me every time I think of it. My boy is out there now in the real world somewhere, i can't believe ;w;
Vera (@nezumivc103221) gifting me a comission for my birthday (especially bc my bday was kinda crappy) was so unexpectedly sweet I was riding the high of that for like a month.
Jay (@mauerfrau) sending me their doodles related to our muses. It's so cute and I love it so much.
Jayme (@tximidity) making me ugly laugh everytime we're talking about the bakery shenanigans. Literally, my cheeks hurt and I feel like a crazy person. But in a good way.
and ofc YOU Miho. Sending me your cute lil messages and making me feel physical pain about our ship. thank u pls hurt me more. <3
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by-kilian · 2 years
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(if this ask makes u uncomfortable in any way, feel free to ignore it, delete it, whatever u need to do. ur happiness matters more to me than anything else. however, i am specifically sending this not on anon, despite my incessant urge to do so as i barely ever send off anon, to give u the chance to reply to this privately if u want to. but that is if u want to! i don’t need, or want, anything from u. ur comfort outweighs any sort of recognition or interaction. i am also extremely unsure if this is gonna send properly bc i am on the tumblr app n the character limit seems to be nonexistent now? when did this happen HAHA…)
i went looking for u (scrolled thru the keyword of ur old user on tumblr, found an older ask that includes it) bc That App is talking abt That Story again. it always troubled me how things went down - i’ve experienced writers taking down their works before but never like that. orphaning works, sure. deleting ao3s, yep. but NEVER thru what u went thru. i don’t even generally go here (here being x readers), but That Story got pushed my way when the whole situation was in its hayday n i never properly paid attention to things until i caught wind of what u had to do. i had no idea it was that bad until maybe a week after the situation had been over n done with by ur actions. n i don’t blame u in the slighest. fandom culture is both extremely fun n extremely damaging - the fact u got the shortest end of the stick that i’ve ever seen is truly smth awful.
all of that aside, i am so extremely overjoyed to see ur still writing. truth be told, i hadn’t known of u before That Story, since again, my aversion to x readers. but ur writing is clearly smth special - n maybe this is extremely crude to say, i’m extremely sorry if it is - considering the way ppl acted over it. above it all, i am just happy to see that ur ok. everything is fine, as much as it can be. that fact alone leaves me content. i am SO glad u were able to push past it.
tldr, since i know this is a lot. i am so happy to see ur still kicking it, despite it all. content creation in any form is deeply personal if u put ur heart into it, n it seems like u do. i am so sorry for the way ppl treated u over That Story. i am doubly sorry if this made u feel upset in any way, shape, or form. that was not my intent, feel free to do whatever it is u need to do with this silly ask if this is the case. n maybe this is corny, but i hope more things fall in ur favor, instead of otherwise. have a nice day!
This is actually a really kind and considerate ask. I'll answer it under a cut since my response is pretty long though!
Firstly, I just want to say thank you for being thoughtful enough to consider my feelings in all of this. It's really kind of you and I'm not saying that just to say it. ❤️
Secondly, yeah. It all was a bit of a hell fire. While I wish it never happened, it obviously did but I'm happier now than I was then. Even before ThatStory blew up, my old writing blog was getting out of control and people were feeling super entitled to me, my works, what I did, and who/what I wrote about so in a way, I'm not surprised it headed that way although I never expected it to go THAT way lol. And yes, it was pretty bad but luckily it is done and over with. Fandom culture can be super fun and that's initially what it was for me--just fun before it unfortunately tipped over to the other extreme side of fandom which is toxic. It is what it is.
But to touch on your main point, thank you and it's not crude at all. I don't see your comment that way. In a way, I've come to think of it as much as well (that it must have resonated with people in some weird way) but not just with that particular story but other stories, too so it is really sweet that someone who doesn't read these kinds of stories thinks that of them as well. It also means a lot to me that someone cared enough to think about how I was doing after all this because that really hasn't been the case apart from loyal readers. Most ppl never think about me in this situation 😂 which is probably why what happened, happened. So thank you for the kind words. I'm fine. Like I said, happier now than I was in my previous blog. I've come to think that it's all meant to be. I get a lot more freedom here, I have the sweetest, most loyal readers, and no one feels entitled to my works, my time, or what I do.
Also you didn't upset me at all. While it's admittedly irritating to see people still talking about that shit a literal year and three months or so later, that has nothing to do with you so no worries. I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to check up on me, and thank you for being so kind. Content creation is super personal and I do put my heart into it, so it means a lot to me that you see that 🥺! Truly.
I'm touched that there are still kind, good, decent people out there because for you to take the time to look for me and send me something lovely truly means a lot, especially considering you weren't necessarily a reader of mine--just clearly a kind, thoughtful human being. I can't express how much I appreciate it. Honestly. Thank you so so much for the lovely sentiments, and I hope all is well for you in the future as well. ❤️❤️❤️
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chokemeanakin · 3 years
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Hello the love of my life, how are you? I’m here to annoy you as always and I was tagged to ask questions but I wanted to add a little bit of ✨spice✨ so these are my questions. I love you so much
How do you get your inspiration?
If you could explain your love language, how would you explain it and which name would you use?
Which are your favourite authors from here?
Which are your favourite fics?
What’s the last thing you read?
Favourite song? Favourite food?
Why is your comfort character your comfort character?
When do you realize you found your comfort character?
Which things do you have in common with your comfort character?
Bye! <3
BABE u are too sweet 🥺 ty for the questions I will answer them now 💖👇🏻:
How do you get your inspiration?
A few ways 😏:
1) getting my heart broken
2) being horny
3) angsty music or going to the theater or reading a really good book
4) the scenarios I make up in my head so I can fall asleep
5) people who send in asks/thoughts to my inbox, y’all are so creative and amazing 💖💖💖
If you could explain your love language, how would you explain it and which name would you use?
Idk much about love languages but i think I took a quiz one time and it was like acts of service and words of affirmation. So yeah I’ll die if you tie my shoe and call me baby 🥺
But also like physical touch... on the down low. only when it’s not sunny outside. don’t ask me to explain that cause I can’t.
Which are your favorite authors from here?
Hmmm I don’t really read from here anymore but they used to be Julia (anakinswhore), she’s on ao3 though as @ anakincanchokemethanks and all of her Star Wars works are on there, she’s also on here as @playlist-library and @mordekaisersbitch
Also @ sunsetkenobi but she’s on ao3 now as @melethwi
and @anakinlove she just knows so much about Star Wars, and she’s a talented artist, and she writes super cute fluff 🥰
There’s probably more I’m forgetting but if you check out my tag #ficrecs you can find ppl I read there
Which are your favorite fics?
Rain Must Fall - anakincanchokemethanks on ao3
A Hard Days Night - anakincanchokemethanks on ao3
After Hours - melethwi on ao3
Alone With You - melethwi on ao3
Shiver - melethwi on ao3
Again there’s definitely more, just check out #ficrecs
What’s the last thing you read?
... 🤭 i actually don’t read much Star Wars anymore. I feel like I’ve seen it all idk 😭
So I’ve been reading a lot of aot fan fiction now for eren and levi oooppsss but ummmmmm @ yagamisdiary has a really good eren ff on wattpad called Parasite yall should go read it it’s soooo good it’s all I read 🙏🏻
Favorite song? Favorite food?
Favorite song ... is a hard one.... I can never choose. so here’s a playlist of my all time favorites, yaknow the ones that never get old and just instantly put me at peace 🥰👇🏻
As for favorite food, either sushi or avocado toast or hot sauce 🙏🏻
Why is your favorite comfort character your comfort character?
Bc he’s pretty and smart and he has a sexy voice and a metal arm and his tiddies are nice and so are his abs and he’s so so tall and he’s like mean but not so mean that it’s awful but like he could be awful if he wanted to, but he’d never be mean to you unless you deserve it because when he loves someone he loves them way too much and I just think he’s cute so yeah 💖
When did you realize you found your comfort character?
Funny story, one of my friends has the same last name as Anakin’s actor and I saw this pic of him when I looked him up:
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and I just thought he was super super hot, but I’d never seen Star Wars before, I didn’t even know what the difference between Anakin and Luke was, or Obi-Wan and Han-Solo, and I didn’t know that Anakin was Darth Vader or anything. And then my friend sent an edit of that shirtless scene in rots and I just— I just about busted all over myself ngl 😳🤚🏻
So I finally sat down and forced myself to watch all the movies, basically fell in love with that stupid mf, and a couple months later at the start of quarantine I made this blog and never looked back 🥰🥰🥰
But it was really weird for me ngl, cause like, he’s not even my type. My type is dark hair, dark eyes, hates everyone, quiet, introverted, detests the idea of love.
But Anakin’s like... lighter hair, light eyes, Chad to the Max, loves ppl so much he kills children, mommy’s boy, car nerd, dramatic, etc.
Idk. Something about this mf 🙄🤺🤺🤺
Which things do you have in common with your favorite comfort character?
-both douchebags
-both have anger issues
-both been fucked over one too many times
-both holding on by a thin fucking strand
-both hate children
-both chads 😏
-both love hugs but are too afraid to admit it
-both impatient and are always accusing ppl of things they didn’t do based off of our own insecurities
-both hate meditating but probably should
-both fall in love with things way too quick and way too much
-both a little narcissistic but also hate ourselves
-both like to sip martinis while watching drama unfold
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Differences:
-he’s an extrovert and I cry in public situations
-I cry way too much honestly
-but it’s ok cause he’s a wuss for tears
-he’s good under pressure
-he can run a lot without losing his breath
-he can flirt good but I just insult ppl when I try
-he understands mechanics and shit and i’d combust if you asked me to hand u a wrench
-but I can take a straight shot of tequila while I think he’d vomit if he didn’t pour 8 cups of fruit mixer in 😏
-I think he would tastefully use swears, but I just let em fly
-could probably beat me in an arm wrestling match until I make him let me win and then I’d be happy
-this isn’t making sense anymore and you didn’t even ask me for differences 🤣🤣🤣
•••This was fun!! Thank you Leah 💖 I too am counting down the days until Halloween, you know what’s up!!! Best holiday ever 🥰🎃•••
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fatoujallovv · 3 years
Text
fanfiction writer appreciation: skamverse edition
thank you @yasminaselamrani for starting this lil tag 🥺 i read and write elu so that’s what you’re in for here but i’m sending a kiss on the forehead to any writer or reader of anything for being the best 🥺💛
if you’re a writer:
a fic that you’re really proud of:
i know i’m sitting here while i haven’t even finished the fic but close to you just makes me really happy 🥺 it’s obviously not oscar winning movie adaptation worthy in the slightest but i think it’s turned out to be a really fun story and i’ve enjoyed writing it and messing around with social media 🤪
a fic that you were nervous to post:
my lil mental health oneshots rotten work and not to me, not if it’s you (incredibly original titles i know skfjfj) were literally . an excuse for a cathartic feelings dump via my emotional support projection character monsieur lucas lallemant and i felt like i was being to dramatic or insensitive or portraying things badly (even though it was literally my own experiences adskljg idk don’t ask what i was thinking) or being too personal so i was kind of nervous 🥺 but i got a lovely response and being able to share them was really healing for me so i’m so glad i did it 🥺
a fic you wished got more hits/kudos/comments:
i’m super happy with every bit of response i’ve gotten from my writing 🥺 i love all of my comments so so much and all i want to use this space for is to say thank you guys for being the best 🥺
one of your favorite tropes to write:
i think it’s obvious that it’s childhood best friends because both of my chaptered fics have been that sjdjfjsj but i also love myself some fake dating hence my current best friends fake dating au akdjfj
another ship that you don’t write but you’d like to write:
i wish i could write kieutou but i struggle to relate to kieu my’s perspective to be able to write her from an honest and accurate place bc as much as i adore her she is so so different from me and i feel like i can’t get in her head 🤧🤧
one of your abandoned wip you never wrote but wish you did:
i only ever abandoned one thing and it was gonna be a long oneshot where they met in the laundry room of their dorm and then dumbassery ensued and it was gonna be very silly but then i forgot about it so akdjfj mayhaps i should return to her this summer if i have the time
another writer you would love to collaborate with:
@luxandobscurus @lucasotteli and i have literally. planned to collab before and just never made it happen .... besties let’s get on that summer 2021
i would LOVE to do some sort of sm au or something with a cool unique format with miss @vexedtonightmares the queen of sm and galaxy brain concepts!!!!! i would basically be dead weight but i would be like beyond honored to assist her in making magic with her big beautiful brain
if you’re a reader:
a fic (or more) that you love to reread:
i looooove rereading if i can recognize real by @tawmlinsun (i’m linking part two i think oops) i have said it before but it gives me butterflies every time it is the peeeeerfect lil first kiss/getting together fic omg omg
the reread value of all mixed up by @lucasotteli and online love by @vexedtonightmares !!!!! unmatched !!!!! social media au supremacy lichrally go tos when i need a Laff
tag an author you always love reading:
@clairdelalune i know ur movin away from the fandom queen so soz to bring u into this but everything you’ve ever written makes me happy 🥺🥺 ur style and vibes are so . good and heartwarming
@lumierelovers is just an absolutely gorgeous writer and everything she touches is magical 🥺
recommend a story to your followers:
i will recommend lots 😌 (vaguely in order of length from like 1k to like 100k+)
when you kill the lights (and kiss my eyes) by @blanxkey (zaira i frickin miss u pls write more pure poetry 🤧)
thoughts of you aren’t enough by cgsf on ao3 (i think they might be on tumblr but it didn’t let me tag 😔)
open your heart (and let me know you want me here) by @demaury
save us by @luxandobscurus
last dance by @vexedtonightmares (i linked the chap 2 post bc it has the ao3 link but 😌)
maybe it starts now by @lepetitepeach (first part of the series is linked on ao3 bc i don’t think there’s a ficpost)
tag an author you discovered recently:
@fireflysxx is kinda new to writing and i’m so proud of herrrrrr 🤧🤧🤧 i would like to direct your attention to the fic she wrote for me about eliott basically being grumpy lucas’s personal shopper for the day akdjdh: new style
spread the love!
tag someone who inspires you to write:
@yasminaselamrani you literally never stop like i am so impressed you just always have new stories to tell i admire that so much even if i don’t read wtfock i’m sorry 🤧🤧🤧
tag someone who you’ve admired forever:
i don’t want to bother people and i feel like many of the people i’ve had longstanding Big Admiration for i already tagged or isn’t really here anymore 🥺 so just like . everyone i’ve mentioned i admire so much? that’s cheating but idc
tag your writing support:
@luxandobscurus and @lucasotteli the only ones who care as much about elu in 2021 as me and i don’t feel guilty making them help me with my fics KAJDJDJD and @fireflysxx my biggest cheerleader and self proclaimed number one fan you’re always there wanting to see what i’ve made and it’s so encouraging 🥺💛 also @thenerd10 bc u always leave me the sweetest comments EVER and you literally singlehandedly make posting worth it 🤧🤧💛💓💗💓
ok i’m tagging everyone i mentioned 🥺 and i would tag more people but i haven’t seen a lot of my writer friends around in a while and i don’t want to be bothering anyone so please just do this if you see it and want to!!!
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ladyvesuvia · 3 years
Note
✧˖°࿐ 🍾 okay ves, this is not exactly a crush but rather a good friend of mine who I thought I liked for a little while (and may have, but not anymore), but circumstances and bad timing have made it clear that nothing will happen (and he has too... rip 🤟). but i was telling the story in the tags of my last post & i need to tell someone! he's a very funny guy and we're bickering all. the. time. like we genuinely barely talk in any way that's not back-and-forth banter to the point that our mutual friends changed his discord name to 'clara's lover' because of how much of an old couple we seem lmfao. but we do have heartfelt conversations when we're kinda... smashed at parties lol and it's like 4am and everyone is passed out and we're quietly talking and i've come to find out he's genuinely dedicated. like i didn't expect it from him but he's very sweet and attentive in his own ways - he's the only one who noticed i was Feeling Bad and checked on me, went to all the lengths possible to care for a friend of ours when she fell and hit her head... just an all-around surprisingly sweet and dedicated guy? and one time we were outside, it was 3am, i had stepped out to look at the stars cause they're my happy place when i'm down and i was feeling like shit lowkey. and he came outside with a few friends and i just started rambling about the stars and planets and constellations and how much i love them, and i was like, "i'm being so boring rn omg" but he just said that it was so cool i knew all of this? and that he didn't find it boring at all but rather loved it? space is super important to me so i was like <3 i feel Loved and Validated right this instant. later on we all laid on deckchairs and we were talking (with 2 other friends, we were 4 in total) and i remember drifting off to sleep in the middle of the conversation (at that point it must've been 4-4:30am) so it's all very hazy but they thought i was asleep and when it was time to get back inside he said, "i could carry her to her room" and i was like DO I PRETEND I'M ASLEEP SO HE DOES,,, and i was this close but they shook me a bit and so i woke up for real lol but it was one of the sweetest nights in my life and the moment i felt the most closure to all my friends and him in particular. rereading this it sounds like i am whipped for the guy but i'm really not, he's a sincerely good friend and we wouldn't work together romantically anyway so i backed down and i prefer it this way. but yeah this was my hot girl summer little romance daydream ♡ THIS WAS SO LONG SORRY AND IM GONNA HIDE BC WHAT IF SOMEONE I KNOW IRL SEES THIS
OMFG BABE I WAS SO EXCITED WHEN I SAW THIS I NEEDED TO HEAR THIS TODAY BECAUSE I’M IN KINDA THE SAME PLACE
he sounds so amazing!!! 😔 the clara’s lover is just so sweet and made me blush wtf ma’am you’re y/n right now- this felt so fun to read istg and him validating what you’re passionate about??? I LOVE HIM ALREADY AAAAAAAAA
HE’S JUST- AGH READING THIS GAVE ME BUTTERFLIES IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE!!! the late night talks- 🤧✋🏻 i want this omg a book based on this would be perfect xx
THE I COULD CARRY HER TO HER ROOM OMFG MA’AM I’D SAY MARRY HIM BUT- HSCNFJJRIWA IDK WHAT TO SAY EVEN JUST HE SOUNDS SO GREAT HE SOUNDS FICTIONAL BUT LIKE IN THE BEST WAY like he’s that one fictional character you want to come to life???? agh i have so many questions like do you guys still talk? are you still friends? is his discord nick still clara’s lover? does he like you? did- I JUST HAVE SO MANY PLS DON’T FEEL SHY TO KEEP SENDING THESE IN BECAUSE I’M NOSY AND THIS IS SO ENTHUSIASTICALLY THRILLING TO ME I GET SO EXCITED BUT WHY NOT ANYMORE :<<<
YOU SHOULD HAVE PRETENDED YOU WERE ASLEEP OMFG I KNOW I WOULD HAVE DONE SO AHAHAHAHAJAJJAWJ wym hot girl summer bESTIE THAT’S MAIN GIRL COMING OF AGE AESTHETIC LOVE STORY THAT DESERVES A HAPPILY EVER AFTER
don’t hide bb this made me want to rant about my similar one omfg u don’t have to read this i just saw a lot of parallels to this and i couldn’t help but sjhdejiw because you saying the “we wouldn’t work out romantically” literally broke me because i feel the same way 😔
i know i say i love angst a lot but damn it why can’t things just be easy and always have a happily ever after?2!/&2@ i told him about writing and he literally said that it’s cool and that i’m good at what i do omfg this guy!!:!:&2 AND WE ALSO HAVE LATE NIGHT TALKS like mostly 12am to 4am just laughing and stuff he’s just someone i feel comfortable with but just imagining what we’d be romantically sounds too unorthodox? idk i mean i do like him and i am in fact head over heels for him but the minute i think about us in the same place that the couples my friends are in, IT FEELS SO STRANGER-Y???
i mean he liked me since 2019 but has been incosistent and he confessed to me on the 31st of december, 2019 BUT I DIDN’T SEE IT OK I WAS JUS TRYNNA REPLY TO PEOPLE HAPPY NEW YEAR and i only saw it like just this june 26 where i replied to it and i said “whatthefuck HAHAHAHA” and he freaked out and said DELETE THAT DELETE THAT hdhdueie idk rlly he’s just so great but i don’t wanna ruin our friendship
PLS THIS FEELS LIKE MIDDLE SCHOOL ALL OVER AGAIN IDK WHY I’M KINDA ENJOYING IT
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roguerogerss · 4 years
Note
Hi babe! I saw you wanted some requests so here I am! Could you do a Bucky x reader where the reader has secret telekinesis abilities (or whatever Wanda can do lmao) and is forced to use them on a mission. Bucky is just in shock bc his secret crush is a even more of a badass, so when he compliments her powers, she gets flustered and disagrees bc they’re dangerous, so Bucky helps her see the beauty in them? Tysm ❤️❤️
His Girl
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Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader
W/C: 3.9k (eek sorry!)
Warnings: Language (??), that's literally it.
(A/N: This one got away from me a little and I wrote wayyy more than anticipated. I hope u like it though? Idk. I had so much fun with this request, thank u sm bb! Praying that someone reads this, even though it's a whole ass novel.)
————
"Bucky, where are you? We have a minute and eight seconds until this place blows."
Y/N was worried, and, upon hearing her frantic voice in his intercoms, Bucky was too. He was aware that he didn't have long until the bomb detonated, but unaware of just how short that amount of time was. He was caught up in a fight, one that was frustrating in the way that he couldn't shake this guy. "Yeah, be there in five?"
He was being sarcastic, he must've been being sarcastic, Y/N shook her head and pressed her fingers to her temples, agitated. "Five what? Five seconds? Minutes? Bucky, I have to ask, are you insane?"
She seemed angry - no, she was most definitely angry - and Bucky silently cursed himself and allowed the Hydra agent to get a hit in, he thought he probably deserved it. "Look, I'll get out. Is there anything you guys can do to buy me some more time?"
Tony had chimed in by this point, telling Bucky that he was 'fucking crazy', ranting and raving to the heavens above about how the entire motive had been messed up and they might as well have stayed home. Y/N knew that she could help him, but that would mean using them - she didn't like to call them by the name that most would use - and she wasn't sure if it was really worth the risk. Bucky would get out, right? He'd work something out.
But time was ticking on, fifty-nine seconds now, and she was unsure of just how right that assumption was. She wasn't even entirely sure that she still had her powers, since she'd avoided using them or telling anyone that they existed since she'd escaped from the grasp of Hydra. Even as she doubted her abilities, she found herself rising from her seat behind the control panels of the Quinjet, next to Steve, and sprinting to the exit to the aircraft.
"Y/N, where are you going?" Steve asked, getting up and following her. The rest of the team were staring now, Natasha and Tony also standing from their places and looking expectantly in Y/N's direction.
"I have something that'll help. Something that you guys don't know about." She said sheepishly, slamming her palm down on the button that opened the exit hatch. "Don't worry, I've got this."
Even though she was promising her friends that everything would be okay, they seemingly didn't believe her, as all five of the other Avengers on the ship - Tony, Nat, Steve, Sam and Thor - followed her out onto the streets of Bucharest, where the public was in awe at the huge, futuristic ship that was sat in the middle of a narrow, cobbled street. Natasha had told them to go home, she'd made the best effort she could to make sure that everyone was safe. However, no one had listened, and so she desperately ushered them away from the place that she knew would soon be rubble, while Y/N ran in search for Bucky.
They had what they'd came for, but that didn't mean that there were no Hydra agents willing to get into altercations with the team. Thor and Steve were frantically fighting off a pack of them, while Tony and Sam helped Y/N, hopefully getting a better view of the streets and where Bucky might be. "Hey, Y/N, I got him. Turn right, next street over. You'll see him." Sam spoke into the intercoms. Y/N thanked him, hurrying off in search of the super-soldier to whom she'd taken more than a liking to over the few months that he'd been fighting with them.
"Buck, I'm on my way, you better be ready to get the fuck out of here." Bucky's eyebrows furrowed as he wondered why Y/N, of all people, was the one who was coming to save him. He had to admit, he was more embarrassed than anything else, needing the help of the one girl who he'd felt anything for in seventy years. But he tried to brush it off, mostly because he had to focus on not letting a Hydra agent rip his arm off, and answered her.
"What are you gonna do? If I can't fight him off, no offence, but what makes you think you'll be able to?" Bucky sounded breathless, and she could hear the obvious sounds of strain and struggle as he continued to tussle with the agent. Y/N took a deep breath and turned the corner, close enough to hear the ominous beeping of the explosive device that a Hydra agent had planted there in hopes of causing harm to one of the Avengers.
"You know what, maybe don't question it. I have my own doubts, but it certainly doesn't help that you have them too."
The agent, who was currently deep in a brawl with Bucky, noticed Y/N, but all that she was able to think about was the amount of time that was left on the clock. She asked FRIDAY, and a rush of adrenaline and fear coursed through her when she realised that they weren't going to get out in time.
Ten, nine, eight, seven,
Y/N drew her gun and shot the Hydra agent, not missing as usual, and Bucky snorted. "Couldn't have done that earlier?"
Four, three, two,
She knew that this was it. It was either expose the world to her powers, probably be deemed as a weapon and certainly become even more wanted by Hydra, or die, and let her friends die too. She took a deep breath and felt the horribly familiar surge of - what was it, electricity? She wasn't actually sure - coursing through her body, and watched as Bucky ogled at the purple wisps of magic that extended from her hands and the way that her irises seemed to ignite.
One.
Bucky ducked and shielded his face, but looked up again when he didn't hear, nor feel anything that would signal an explosion had happened. Y/N had it under control, holding the bomb together with just her fingertips. She'd thought that it wouldn't happen, that her abilities would've simply subsided into nothingness due to being unused for so long, but she was wrong. She'd done it, and there was no going back now.
And then? The small explosion turned huge, and lurched forwards, setting a civilian apartment building completely alight. Y/N stood, watching, mouth wide open and quite unable to understand the circumstances of what the hell just happened. Bucky was at her side, a hand on her shoulder as he, too, watched the destruction take place. The rest of the team had rushed straight there, each one of them with hands over agape mouths while Steve called for Fire and Rescue and Tony wondered aloud, 'What the fuck is going on?'
Y/N found herself on her knees. She could see and hear Bucky in front of her, worry in his eyes as a few tears dripped from her chin onto her chest, but she didn't have it in her to decipher what his words meant, they all just sounded muffled and like he was speaking a language that she didn't understand.
She didn't know what she'd done, how bad it was, but she could hear the screams of the residents of the building, she could feel them vibrating through her body and ringing in her ears, and that was enough to convince her that her enhancements truly were the worst thing about her, that she really was the weapon that Hydra had deliberately mutated her to be.
--------
It had been hours. How many, Y/N was unsure, but a considerable amount of time had passed since they'd gotten home. The flight back from Bucharest had consisted of Y/N locking herself in a cabin, and the rest of the people on the Quinjet taking it in turns to try to speak to her, to try to understand.
No one, apart from Bucky, (who only had a vague idea), knew what had happened. There wasn't a single person on the jet who could fully understand it, Y/N included.
She was now sat on a sofa in the lounge, chewing off parts of her nails while everyone murmured and tiptoed around her. Tony was speaking quickly on the phone and glancing at her every couple of seconds, Steve was pacing back and forth along the length of the room.
Y/N wondered for a minute what would happen. Would she be arrested? Would something like the accords happen again? Was she about to become the cause of another civil war? Would Tony disown her? Send her back to Hydra? She didn't know. She didn't think she wanted to know.
Wanda and Natasha had come to comfort Y/N at first, sat with her and braided her hair like they did often, and it was nice to think that Wanda knew exactly what she was going through.
However, she'd told them that she wanted to be alone, and they'd dispersed and were sitting quietly in two separate armchairs, watching a movie with Sam. The truth was, she didn't really want to be alone. She wanted Bucky. She didn't quite know why, but she'd always felt calm around him, which was one of the reasons why she'd taken such a shine to him, and she made it very clear to herself that she was at least a little bit in love with Bucky, in a way that was less platonic and more romantic.
She couldn't lie and say that she was happy with the way that he'd handled things, though. As soon as the jet landed, he mumbled something about taking a shower and hurried off to his room, like he couldn't stand to be around her for any longer, like he was afraid of her.
And, honestly? She wouldn't be surprised if he was.
The truth, of course, wasn't that Bucky didn't want to see her, it wasn't that he was afraid of her, it was that she was evidently upset. It was tearing him apart to have to see her like that. He felt like he was obligated to be alone to think about what had happened, because he knew that - realistically - it was his fault that she'd had to use her powers. He'd been caught up in a fight, the bomb that had been planted was seconds away from detonating, she had to do something. Of course, he had no idea that something was going to be exposing hidden telekinetic abilities to the world, but close enough, right?
"I just got off the phone with a higher up." Tony stood in the middle of the lounge, everyone looking at him as he began his speech. "Everything's gonna be fine. Just, maybe don't turn on the news for a couple days, Y/N doesn't need to see that."
"Don't act like I'm a kid, please." Y/N spoke up, making it clear that she was annoyed by the fact that everyone was seemingly ignoring that it was her who had done this. "I did this, Tony. I want to know how much damage I caused."
Tony pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, shaking his head at her. "No, this is not the time to get all Steve-y on me, okay? You don't need to see it, you don't need to know, so you're not going to. Is that clear to you?"
"Mistakes happen, Y/N. It's not your fault." Steve said from where he was standing, next to the breakfast bar. "What matters is that you tell us what actually happened at some point."
"So, what I'm going to take from that, is that it's bad." She turned from Steve, back to Tony. "I'm not weak, I can deal with what I did, Tony."
Tony snapped, the stress of the situation and the argument from his daughter-figure becoming too much for him to handle, "Goddamn it, Y/N, you really wanna know what you did? Let's see, first of all, you used whatever powers you have, something that you clearly knew about but warned no one of. Second of all, you essentially bombed an apartment building in a poor part of Romania, you literally took from the poor. And now what? Fifty-five people are dead, kids have been left without parents, and that's on my back. Plus, you're being publicly deemed as a weapon until they figure out what's really going on there. So, do tell us, what is really going on there?"
"Tony. Stop." Wanda said, but Y/N was already halfway out of the room, with Tony realising that he probably shouldn't have said what he did and following after her.
"Y/N, hey, I'm sorry, okay?" Tony called, but she wasn't listening. She got in the elevator and left Tony alone in the hallway without a word, tears threatening to spill from her eyes the whole time.
And then, finally, they did. When the doors of the elevator closed, when she could no longer hear Tony's voice, when she was alone, oh they did. She found herself on the floor, face cradled in her hands - the same hands that killed fifty-five people just hours before - and there were tears falling from her eyes, past her chin, soaking her black catsuit.
She felt empty, like her body was a shell and she was simply there, watching herself fall apart. It was a kind of guilt, one that ate at her from the inside and seared through every nerve, every part of her, until she could think of doing nothing but curling up and ceasing to exist. She wanted to yell, scream, punch something, run. Anything that would distract her from how she felt. She wanted to sleep for a week, maybe two, forget about everything and ignore her responsibilities until it hurt less. Most importantly, however, she wanted Bucky. She wanted now more than ever to be his girl. For him to lay with her and tangle his fingers in her hair and whisper sweet things in her ear until the bad things in the world simply melted away.
The elevator dinged and the doors opened, but Y/N didn't get up, not until FRIDAY asked if she wanted to go to another floor. When she did, however, she found herself taking the wrong turn, to the left instead of to the right, and walking away from her room instead of towards it. Without thinking, she'd already opened the door to Bucky's room, where he was reclined lazily on his bed, a pair of sweatpants on and nothing else, focused on the ceiling.
He furrowed his eyebrows at her when she gave him a tiny little smile, but sighed when he noticed the remnants of her somewhat breakdown on her face. Bucky held his arms open, "Hey, c'mere."
She stepped into his embrace, tears finding their way onto her face again, and let him caress her back and play with her hair until the crying stopped. When Bucky held her, everything felt different, like she could put things into perspective and understand that maybe it wasn't all her fault. "Look, I know you think that this is the end of the world. I know it's scary, but Wanda learned how to use her powers for good. You can do the same." Bucky's attempt at comforting Y/N wasn't exactly superlative, but she knew that he was trying.
"I'm a weapon, Buck." She pulled away from him and sat on the end of the bed, wanting to cry and clawing at the sleeves of her suit in an essay to calm herself down. "That's how Tony worded it, anyway. I shouldn't have used them."
Bucky knew that his next question was stupid, that he probably shouldn't have asked it, but his curiosity had gotten the better of him and he was speaking before properly thinking over the consequences. "How did you get them?" He reached out for her hand and she let him hold it, getting a rush of exhilaration from the affectionate gesture.
Bucky wasn't usually one for showing how he felt, much less for saying it out loud or doing anything to communicate his feelings, and he wasn't quite sure why he had had a sudden change of heart and almost wanted her to know that he liked her, that, really, he would do anything for her. She didn't meet his eye as she began her explanation. "Well, before Tony found me, I worked for Hydra. Actually, less worked for them and more became their personal lab rat. They did a lot of experiments on me, tortured me, really, made me more destructive than any enemy organisation would know how to handle. And then, I escaped. And here I am, talking to you."
She gave him a sad little smile, one that he would swear had broken him. "I'm sorry." It was a lame excuse for comfort, really it was, but he racked his brain once, twice, and couldn't for the life of him find the right words to say.
"Don't be." Y/N shifted in her place, gaze on her hands which were clasped in her lap. It was quiet and Bucky wished that he knew what to say to her, that he could think of something that would make her feel less alone or soothe her in some way. A minute went by, two minutes, three minutes. The silence might've been comfortable between the pair, but it was certainly uncomfortable between Y/N and her own thoughts. "I should go." She said, standing from her place on the bed without looking in Bucky's direction once.
He knew that he had to say something, anything that would make her stay. The thought of her alone in her room was heartbreaking to him. He grabbed her wrist before she could take any more than a few steps towards the door and she looked down at him, lips slightly parted and one eyebrow raised in a silent question. "You're not a weapon. Sure, Stark said that, whatever, the guy's an asshole. But you're not a weapon, Y/N."
She gave a little humourless laugh, blowing a puff of air out of her nose. "The government apparently seem to think so."
Bucky smiled at her and said, "Fuck the government."
"Oh, so you're an anarchist now? Classy." Y/N sat back down and Bucky's heart felt like it was doing summersaults in his chest, all fluttery. She was smiling, he had made her smile, and it was genuine. As far as he was concerned, nothing else really mattered.
"You know what I mean."
"I don't, actually."
Bucky sighed and cocked an eyebrow at her, eliciting a laugh from her lips. "You're really going to make me explain myself, huh?" He joked. "Look, You're not a weapon to me. I think you're a badass, actually." She snorted.
"Bucky, I killed a lot of people."
"So have I." Bucky's tongue darted out to wet his lips as he placed a tender hand on her thigh. "You don't see me as the bad guy. You never have, actually. What I'm trying to say, is that all of us have done bad things. Made mistakes, lost control, that doesn't make us bad people."
"I feel like a bad person." Y/N had her eyes trained on Bucky's face, bottom lip held tightly between her teeth as she tried to avoid letting herself word-vomit about everything that she was feeling at that moment. His hand squeezed her thigh gently, and she let out an embarrassing and involuntary gasp that made her cheeks turn bright red.
"Don't. Y/N, I know it's cheesy as hell, but you did it to save my life, right?" Y/N nodded slowly, "So how does that make you a bad person?"
"You're grasping at strings, here."
“What can I say that'll make you feel better?"
Y/N knew what she wanted to hear, that he liked her as more than a friend, that he wanted to be with her like she wanted to be with him, that her fantasies weren't just fantasies, that he really did love her. But she couldn't say that. God, of course she couldn't say that. So, instead, she simply shrugged.
Bucky knew what he wanted to say to her, that he liked her as more than a friend, wanted her to be with him, of course he loved her. He couldn't drop all of that on her when all she'd given was a shrug, right? Wrong, apparently, because the words spilled from his mouth anyways, like he couldn't control himself.
And really, he couldn't. But he figured that she already knew that.
“I love you." He spluttered, and her eyes widened in shock. "Okay? God, I love you. And what you did today? Made me love you even more. I know you probably don't want to hear this, you don't want me to ruin our friendship, and I get it, I do. But, right now, all I wanna do is protect you, and let you know that you're really not the monster that you think you are."
She stayed silent. What could she say? Her head was swimming with ideas, but none of them really seemed fit. She thought that, if this day ever came, if somehow it came down to confessing her feelings for him, she'd know exactly what to say.
She really couldn't have been more wrong.
So, instead of speaking, she found herself simply staring at Bucky, into his eyes. Had he moved closer? Had she? Either way, their noses were soon bumping together and he was searching her face for any sign of disapproval, one that wasn't there, and so he kissed her.
She felt dizzy, lightheaded, like she couldn't quite figure out where her body ended and Bucky's began, and she didn't think she really wanted to. Lips on lips, his hand on her waist and hers roaming his hair, it felt like heaven.
She was on a high, he was too, and the comedown was breathless and just as euphoric as the real thing. "I love you too." Y/N said.
Bucky couldn't help the plainly stupid, goofy grin that had spread across his face. Did he look like an idiot? Unequivocally. Did he care? Maybe, but that wasn't the point.
"I should get back to my room." Y/N said quietly, a small smile on her lips. "Thanks for...uh, the talk."
Bucky laughed and let her get up, walk to the door and open it while he watched in a daze, and then he stopped her. "Let me walk you."
"I can handle myself."
"Oh, I know, sweetheart. But I'm not entirely sure that you should."
Really, she was already his girl. She always had been.
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xnchxntmxnt · 3 years
Note
Hey this is for your matchups which again yayyy congrats on nearly 200!! Anyways for my matchup:
1-3) My nickname is Em, she/her and idm who you pair me with
4) I'd describe myself as shy at first then once you get to know me I'll open up, an overthinker and I like to be organized
My hobbies are writing, I really love it alot, I also like to draw if I get time and I love music alot too
In a partner I'd look for someone who makes me laugh and who's patient
For dealbreakers it's pretty general but I couldn't be with someone who doesn't consider other ppl's feelings
5) I don't have an aesthetic but I like pastel aesthetics but then I also like dark aesthetics and light academia so it's a mix I guess
6) Colours to describe me would be teal blue and silver, well according to you anyways
7) Right now I'd say my favourite song is  Tru Luv Street by Awfultune or Fight Night Champion by Cyberbully Mom Club
8) Idk about a specific genre but some artists I like rn are: Awfultune, Carpetgarden, Cavetown, Clem Turner, Cyberbully Mom Club, Girl in Red, Joji, Lorde, Matt Maltese and Twenty One Pilots (sorry that's alot)
9) Ooh and I wanted to include that my favourite book is Radio Silence by Alice Oseman
Thank you in advance and also ily, you deserve all the love and more!! <3
EM MY BELOVED I HAVE DONE IT
@sugasfanfics this was so fun wtf like-- ugh i love this
ANYWAY i know i already kinda spilled the beans but im gonna match you with....
✧𝐴𝑘𝑎𝑎𝑠ℎ𝑖 𝐾𝑒𝑖𝑗𝑖✧
AGASHIII
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and no it's not just because you're already in love w him i have good reasoning behind this because i said so anyWAY
✧𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑀𝑒𝑡✧
how you met, for in case you cant see my fancy text
Cafe
C a f e
But like
A cafe specifically for nerds
This is just my like 2nd dream job okay but like hear me out
They have coffee & tea & a bookshelf full of old books and a chalkboard
You can write all over the chalkboard
You write super tiny and just let a little mini vent out in the corner because you’re stressed out and need to get everything off your chest
BUT you come back the next day and there’s a little note in the same little corner
Your message is gone
But instead is a little note from someone
“If you ever need to talk to someone, let me know”
And an Instagram username
So you give it a shot and you’re like why not talk to this random person Y’know maybe make a new friend if anything just thank them for the offer
You message him and start talking (and low key stalk his page just to see what he’s like, or maybe that’s just me being a snoop) and he’s actually really cool! So you guys meet up and get coffee and actually start talking all the time it’s really sweet
✧𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙 𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠✧
general headcanons
When i think of akaashi, I think of stars
When i think of you, i think of picnics and for some reason, water
Like the ocean
SO EVEN IF ITS NOT THE OCEAN
Your ‘spot’ is by this lake where he took you on a date one time
Maybe for an anniversary or something
But you guys did a little picnic dinner thing and were out when the sun went down so sat and stared at the stars
You buried a rock there and both of you like to stand on that spot where the rock is when youre there with the other
Or send the other a picture like “hiii baby look what i found” w your shoe in the picture
Bokuto is your #1 shipper high key
Like he thinks you two are so cute
He loves you so much too like
He and akaashi are kinda a package deal so like if ur dating akaashi ur dating bokuto just with less kissing (bokuto likes to kiss your cheek or forehead) (after making sure this was ok with akaashi of course) (ur his girlfriend of course)
But anyway just bokuto
He’s so sweet
And so clueless
You two will be walking together and then he’ll just walk up behind you and sling his arms over your shoulders
If youre holding hands w akaashi? He’ll put his hand over both of yours
God now i wanna write a fic but anyway
Bo is just the sweetest and is akaashi’s #1 hype man when he’s worried about a date
He’s ur #2 bc im ur #1 sorry to tell u
Bo totally tried to coin the platonic soulmates thing i love you kou but gtfo my em
Im arguing with fictional characters
ANYWAY
When akaashi is stressed he likes to wrap his arms around you and lay his head against your neck
He’ll never admit it out loud because he thinks its weird but he thinks you smell nice
When he’s starting to overthink too much + spiral he just will grab you and hug you until all the bad thoughts go away
When he thinks to of course
When he doesn’t, there are times you gotta find him and calm him down
Which he loves so much
Sit him down on the floor so he feels more grounded and hold his hand (or hook pinkies that's so cute i jhbflebf) (not the time spencer gtfo)
That way ur not crowding him but you’re still there y'know
And sometimes he’ll talk, sometimes you need to talk him down, sometimes you just sit in silence
Eventually he will lean forward into you and hug you because he doesn't want to talk, but he wants you to know he’s okay
Rub his back, kiss his head, you’ll both be okay
He’s really good with you too
When you’re stressed out he might push a couple buttons but he means well
He just wants to know who made his star upset (he calls you his star or darling convince me otherwise)
So he pushes buttons until you finally talk about it because obviously it’s bothering you why wouldn't you talk about it?? He just wants to fix it??
Sometimes this gets more irritating, sometimes it helps, it depends on the day
But even if you do get into an argument, expect to hear from him before the end of the night apologizing because he feels so bad for arguing with you that he doesn’t even care what the argument was about he just wants to make sure you still love him
I think im getting off topic but tbh this part is always just me rambling lol
Another thing I think of when I think of akaashi is rain. I don't know why but i do
You have to at least know OF the notebook & the rain scene to get this
I don't know the book lol i just know this much and i'm a dork so we’re using it & some quotes just a heads up
But just imagine its pouring and you’re bored and text him like “i wish i could see you but its raining & we didn't really make plans & i don't want you to get caught in the rain anywhere”
This mfer
RUNS ALL THE WAY TO UR HOUSE
JUST SHOWS UP
OUT OF NO WHERE
And being the freakin
book nerd he is
He texts you and goes “I wrote you 365 letters.”
And then just “(come to the door and I’ll finish the quote)”
So you bolt to the front door
And there he is
Soaking wet & smiling like an idiot
“I wrote to you everyday for a year.”
To which you start laughing and barley are able to make out a “it wasn’t over’ (which is the beginning of the next quote) before kissing him
And this jerk pulls you out in the rain with him because WHAT is more romantic than kissing in the rain
Nothing
Anyway he ends up with a cold but you give him some of the clothes you probably stole from him to get into dry clothes and you cuddle under the covers with tea
After you smack him (playfully of course) because “you IDIOT keiji it's pouring out here!!” “I wanted to see you too so i ran over” “you're impossible”
Anyway yeah #emkaashiotp
✧𝐴 𝐷𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝐼𝑑𝑒𝑎✧
a date idea
Bookstore
I'm really good at naming places aren't i
Anyway
Bookstore date
But do something fun where the two of you have to go through an aisle and find a random page and read it in the like
How do i explain this
Make it sound suuuuper sexual without it actually being that way and not laugh
Whoever loses buys lunch
Lets just say you lose a lot dear im sorry (he insists on buying anyway, sometimes he wins that argument)
You’re smiley :) (guys her smile is so cute ebflbejfb em ILY)
Oh also doesn’t matter if he bought lunch or not he always gets you something
Whether it be that book you decided you couldn't get this time or a little trinket that reminded him of you, or sometimes it’s just ice cream
It’s all very sweet (hahaha pun)
He always walks you home and gives you a little kiss when he drops you off
Doesn’t leave till you’re inside & he knows you’re good
You make him promise to text you when he gets home
Which he does, without fail
✧𝑍𝑜𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑐 𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑏𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦✧
zodiac compatibility
Sagittariuses are very intelligent, fair-minded & honest, similar to a Libra’s cleverness & rationale. Because of this similarity, trust is a huge thing in these relationships. It can be all or nothing, but finding balance is important to keep both people happy. Luckily, Libras are very good at this. From everything I’ve seen, these signs together have a very high compatibility and can have a very long-withstanding and healthy relationship.
✧𝐴𝑒𝑠𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑐✧
aesthetic
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✧𝑃𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡✧
playlist
House of Gold - Twenty-One Pilots
Lvr Boy - awfultune
A Shitty Love Song - Jye
Darling Get Up - awfultune
Something Just Like This - Alex Goot
✧𝑅𝑢𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑈𝑝✧
runners up
Nishinoya Yuu, Sugawara Koushi
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