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a-strange-inkling · 1 year

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Hellcheer Ten Years Later/Recovery AU…

(So this tragic idea is eating away at my brain and distracting me. Thought I’d jot it down here for maybe a future story or inspiration).

tw: mentions of drugs, alcohol, addiction, od, eds and attempted s*icide.

There was never any Vecna or Upside Down, never a drug deal at an abandoned picnic table in the forest behind the school, and Eddie and Chrissy never met again after that fateful Middle School Talent Show. After graduation, Eddie did just what he said and ran like hell out of Hawkins and never looked back.

It’s 1996 and Eddie made a decent career for himself, touring and opening for big names, but always felt this unhappiness inside of him, this void that no amount of sex, drugs and rock and roll could ever fill. In his late twenties the drugs and alcohol spiral out of control to the point he wakes up in the hospital after an accidental OD.

Wayne takes him home and begs him to get help, try to recover, that he doesn't have the strength to bury any more family members. For his uncle's sake, to repay him for taking him in as a kid, Eddie eventually gives in and admits himself into a private recovery center somewhere in the hills of Illinois.

It’s rural and quiet, filled with rich and semi famous addicts. Eddie hates it upon entry… and well the withdrawal, being told what to do on a daily basis, and the group therapy doesn’t warm him up to it.

One morning, feeling weary and miserable, he takes a long walk outside on one of the trails. He stops in his tracks, pretty sure he’s hallucinating when he sees Chrissy Cunningham, the former Queen of Hawkins High and his crush of eight years, reclined on a bench, reading under one of trees... And she’s reading The fucking Hobbit of all things.

Stupefied, he slowly approaches and it’s actually her, thinner than he remembers if that’s possible, those sparkling blue eyes now dull, gray... sad. "Chrissy?" he asks in disbelief, startling her terribly.

“Sorry, sorry... I didn’t mean to scare you.”

She stares up at him with haunted eyes, trembling a little. It unsettles him for a moment, and he thinks he should just walk away, leave her alone... but he stays, tries again. Desperate. “Uh hey, hi…" Very smooth. "You probably don’t remember me; but we went to high school together—"

“Eddie Munson.” she replies softly in astonishment, eyes widening.

And for the first time in he doesn’t know how long, he feels life and warmth inside him again as they talk and reconnect on the bench, beneath the leaves. She’s still so beautiful. Sweet and kind. He makes her laugh and the sound causes his heart to skip a beat in his chest, only for it to sink a moment later when he notices the wedding ring on her finger, but he doesn’t let it show.

She’s Chrissy Carver now. She married Jason right after graduation and studied at IU with him for four years before moving back to Hawkins to be near her parents and start a family. She grows quiet and reserved, her smile disappearing when she mentions her husband. He watches as she recoils back into herself. She tells him that she's been struggling with an ED half her life as well as addiction and depression.

Jason admitted her into rehab after her last failed s*icide attempt earlier that spring. She’s been there for almost four months now.

Eddie listens silently as she slowly opens up to him. It’s awful to think that someone like her ended up in a place like this. Her life seemed so perfect back in school.

He asks if she’s found any healing during her stay.

She shrugs her shoulders saying that she’s away from her mother, so that is healing in and of itself.

They walk and talk together every day after that, sharing their scars and the dark ugly parts of their lives that led them there, finding companionship in one another.

He plays his music for her in exchange for her poems and thoughts. Falling in love in the most unlikely way in the most unlikely of places.

#hellcheer #eddie x chrissy #eddissy #munningham #chrissy x eddie #hellcheer fanfiction #hellcheer fanfic #fic ideas

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anemonay · 4 months

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2023 wrap up ( thanks @spaceoperetta for the idea, hasn't even considered doing one!)

-very long, been a big year for me-

tw: d/ru/g usage discussed positively

- also worst depression since college, but at least it's not the manic-depressive mixed state I was in for most of those 4 years

- BUT I also found the first ever antidepressant that works for me a couple months ago! I've been on a mood stabilizer that's "worked" for me for years in terms of controlling the hypomania, but I would still sink into low, low depressions. Now I just feel capable of happiness, but I need to rebuild those neural pathways since they haven't been used in so long

- my husband and I's relationship is much, much better. Once we moved things got really not great, and he is a lovely and great person but I think he'd never had to /actually/ deal with anything or question himself before and being in a new place, with someone holding him accountable, who wouldn't just ignore any of the ineffective things he was doing or any of the negative things occurring freaked him out a bunch, especially because he had no distress tolerance skills. I have my own stuff to work on too, but his refusal to accept what he doesn't understand really exacerbated my emotional reactivity and now I have to unlearn all of those habits.

- I found a therapist who works with my brain!

- my best friend moved to my city, and it was only supposed to be for like 10 months but she met her boyfriend and is blossoming and getting opportunities in her field like crazy so she's staying longer which means we can hang out more!

- knees got worse, but I finally went to physical therapy (because I maxed out my insurance OOP with the name other medical things I had to do this year) and it helped a bunch!

- a ton of drama with my husband's family. His youngest sister randomly decided that I am abusive (not even during like any interaction or anything, she just randomly started having an attitude with me 2 weeks before their annual (white, well-off people) family vacation), and then was cold to me during the vacation, and went on a walk with my husband where she essentially tried to convince him that I AM abusive. (Husband also handled it poorly - he's the "everyone is right in some way" type and didn't tell her she was completely out of line, but that has also gotten better thanks to couple's therapy). Then over Thanksgiving she decided to create drama with the older sister over her own poor behavior when older sister was doing absolutely nothing mean or wrong. It's been really stressful, we didn't even do a zoom call for Christmas this year which they normally try to make happen no matter what.

- I lost my job at a startup (blessing in disguise) and got a new job. The company is great, but I hate the work. It's not what I applied to do, it's way more technical and I would like that if ANYONE had the time to train me. But they lost a ton of people going from fully remote to hybrid, so everyone I work with has less experience than I do actually. I'm also struggling to do it because of how lost and flustered I feel.

- I picked up journaling and that's been so great and helpful.

- I went to Portland! I adored it very much. Though towards the end something about it felt vaguely threatening/heavy/scary. But I definitely want to visit again.

- I reconnected with my childhood best friend! We definitely grew in different ways but the foundation is still very much clicking. I'm going to stay with her and her husband in Seattle and visit again in May. She's so, so wonderful and I missed her so so much I'm tearing up writing this. We've continued to message frequently since, and once Baldur's Gate's cross play feature is out (fingers crossed) we're going to play together.

- I learned that stimulants don't work for my brain. ADHD stims caused anhedonia, coffee just triggers migraines, and Modafinil semi kinda maybe works but not well. I've managed to quit coffee for a week or so now. It's definitely an addiction. But chai tea lattes are filling the void. And the void also means that I'm getting back into tea! A childhood Internet friend is the one who got me into tea, and it feels very heartwarming to remember them through it.

- I lost my first cat together with my husband. You will be missed dearly forever, little man.

- I found my favorite d/ru/g! Technically I think it's 2-fdck that's my favorite favorite if my testing was correct, but basically ke/tam/ine and its analogues in general. It's so amazing and it checks all my boxes. I haven't personally experienced any negatives from it, though if you ever try it please read up on appropriate doseage, periods between use, and all that. It's helped me a ton with figuring stuff out, feeling motivated, and rewiring my brain. I'm weird and drugs have never worked the same for me as other people now have I ever had it impact my life negatively so please don't take my experience as advice or normal.

- I tripped for real for the first time in forever over Christmas break! My meds make it really, really difficult. Most people can't trip at all no matter how much they take on these meds. But I just kept raising my dose and bam, finally! I also had my first ever LSD epiphany and I feel like I can really move forward with my life. Tripping has also always helped my brain reset - like turning a computer off and on instead of just locking it or hibernating. I always feel so refreshed.

- I generally just feel more compassion for myself and more capable of being the person I want to be. Sometimes it hurts because it feels like I was on such a good trajectory, and then a ton of negative things happened to me with no support system and everything in my life just stopped. And then I was getting better and then COVID really broke me - at least when the bad stuff was happening I had stimulation, but COVID liked my brain. I think I still have it in me to be happy in the ways I want.

I hope we live in unprecedented times where history is made! Precedented times and the continuation of the normal just means the rich get richer and people die at the hands of oppressors. I hope things change for the better, greatly and permanently.

#me #text

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help-im-a-gay-fish · 3 years

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It's A Long Road to Recovery.

(post Dark-Cream story)

"How's the water my Love? " Cross asked, dipping the tips of his fingers into the bath.

"perfect" Dream replied sinking slightly deeper into the water. The warmth wrapped around his bones and felt amazing on all the aches and pains.

"you got it just perfect"

The guard smiled wide "I'm glad to hear that, soak as long as you want, you deserve it"

The two had returned to the place they called home and Cross had drawn his beloved a bath. If Cross had it his way, he would have attempted to create a full spar treatment to pamper the bruised guardian. However, Dream had been more then happy to have something simple and the way he sighed as he relaxed in the water filled Cross with warmth.

It was so good to be home, even if it was mostly just a void with some rooms and things, it felt like home now. Though Cross wondered, with no anti sanses did that mean that him and Dream could settle down? They were engaged after all.

That thought make him smile wider. it had definitely been a long journey, but now that it was over him and Dream could finally be together. A family.

The gloopy mass had mostly washed off him now, though his joints where not completely free of it. Sadly, the lack of gloop now revealed just how damaged Dreams body was. There where huge cracks running across many of his bones and many bruised and stained areas. Then there was his eye.

Cross was trying hard not to look at it, but he didn't want Dream to know he was. Of course Dream was still beautiful, he always would be, but that didn't make it easy.

The wound was large and caused Cross to think about how it must have felt for him during the transformation. He hadn't seen the whole thing, but the sounds of Dreams bones splitting and his cries of agony became present in his mind whenever he looked at the eye.

It made him shudder to think of the pain he must have, and still was in.

"how's the" he started glancing away "the.... Eye?"

Dream sat up a bit.

"it's fine.... Mostly numb really"

He could sense his partners concern and didn't want to tell him the whole truth. It was painful and throbbed slowly, especially when touched. It threaten to hurt for a long time, not that it was a punishment he didn't deserve.

As soon as he was done in the bath he'd have to bind it.

Dream felt no shame in Cross being there while he bathed. He knew he wanted to stay in the water for a few hours, and those where hours that he wanted to spend with Cross. So therefore he'd asked Cross to join him.

The guardian stretched, wincing slightly as his back bones slid together. It ached and probably would for quite a while.

He pressed his fingers into the crook of his elbow joint, sighing in relief as more of the gloop stuck there gave way. The slime had dried and jammed up most of his joints, making him feel stiff and useless. It would take hours to clean, but it seemed like the warm water was helping it give way.

Taking a breath, he ducked his whole head and body under the water. Laying there under it for a few moments to soak, before resurfacing for air.

There was a trickle as Cross continued to flick the surface of the water with his fingers. Dream lent forward to shake the water from his skull and felt a sharp pain in his back. It didn't last very long but it was quite a surprise so it caused him to suck in air quickly through his teeth. Cross looked up straight away.

"Dream!?"

Dream took a breath and slowly moved his body back so he was lent against the bath again. The pain stopped.

"j-just moved to fast.... It will be fine, Nightmare said the first day was the most painful"

"right" Cross said, still concerned but with a slightly harder tone. "Rest...."

"I will Crossy, if Night was able to run, I'll be able to take care of myself" Dream replied, trying to sound reassuring.

He scooped up some of the bubbly foam from the waters surface in his hand and blew it in Cross' direction. Cross batted it with his hand in a playful cat-like fashion.

Dream smiled, seeing Cross acting playfully with him, it had been a long time since they'd been able to just exist as a couple. He would have continued to blow bubbles at him, but an intrusive thought ruined the momentary joy and it made him freeze.

" ¿Estaba él en este dolor?" he asked quietly. Cross glance sideways at him.

"hm?"

"Nightmare..." Dream clarified "......was he....is he in this pain?" Cross sighed.

"Dreamboat, you need to focus on your own recovery" he said, once again flicking the bath water with his fingers, though slightly more aggressively.

His tone was firm and slightly bitter "I know you worry, but he has Killer"

Shifting his legs around a bit, Dream sighed. He knew his partner was right, he shouldn't let himself worry about Nightmare to much, they would be in contact in a few days.

Yet he just couldn't help it. If he was in this bad of shape after a few months, then how bad would it be for Night after hundreds of years.

"but what if he-

-just drop it!"

Startled at Cross' tone, Dream flinched slightly. He wasn't used to Cross speaking to him like that and he didn't like it.

He narrowed his good eye at him and the soldier sheepishly looked away. Dream sensed shame from him, but also anger. His emotions were a mess.

"sorry i just meant-

-You're still thinking about what he did to you....."

Cross' shoulders tensing confirmed to Dream that he was right. His expression softened.

"Cross..."

"it's not just what he put me through" he said, still avoiding Dreams gaze "it's what he did to you... And heaven....." his voice trailed off and his eyes watered slightly.

Dream felt his soul twist as the memories flooded in. Feeling suddenly very cold, he lowered his legs deeper in the water.

Cross squeezed his eyes shut and shook the tears away. Before opening his mouth to keep speaking, but closing it again.

"oh.. Cross" Dream said, reaching forward in an effort to comfort him. But he soon lowered his arm when Cross continued to speak.

"I know he's your brother... And I know you want to reconnect with him...." he swallowed and turned back to his lover. "I'm not gonna stop you... And I'm not going to hold a grudge, I just need.....

".... time" Dream said finishing Cross' sentence. Cross nodded in response.

He felt selfish just saying it

Even if Dream seemed to understand he still felt bad.

The reality of everything was still catching up with him and it was a slightly rough reality.

He'd been on happy to see his beloved gloop free and happy, that he'd completely pushed aside any kind of confrontation he'd had in mind for Killer or Nightmare.

Both had serious partaking in his pain and he hadn't realised how much he resented them until now.

But the reality that had just hit him was that Dream was going to reconnect with with his brother and if Cross was going to be Dreams husband then Nightmare was going to be a part of his.... Family.

"........"

That thought hurt.

Dream stared at his partner for a long time, as Cross watched the water flicking under his fingers. Cross' emotions were very negative, Dream knew he needed to say something.

"it's ok Mi Soldado, you aren't the only one. .."

Cross looked up at him again.

"I may have forgiven him in my head, but I still need to forgive him in my heart". He struggled to keep his voice steady.

"I-it's been so many years"

he bent over his knees and hugged his legs tightly.

"just like my face, there are a lot of cracks to heal..." he'd sighed "it's not just you"

Cross' emotions calmed slightly and he relaxed at Dream's reassurance.

"Its going to be a long road to recovery Crossy, for all of us"

Cross gave him a soft smile, and reached forward to cup his soapy cheek.

"I'll be here every step of the way" he said in a gentle tone.

Dream melted.

He leaned over to catch Cross in a kiss and the soldier happy obliged. It was a soft and affectionate kiss. Something that they had both been needing in that moment.

After pulling away Dream sank back into the water with a sigh. For the first time in a long time, he felt that things were going to be OK.

So here I am was another little bonus Dark-Cream scene. I came up with this recently and sketched it out. I wasn't originally gonna finish it but @zu-is-here asked me to so I did. I'm not really 100% satisfied with it you know? The bubbles was horrible to draw, I'm proud of the water and the bones though. The writing was just a cute Scene I came up with. Because it can't just be all fine and dandy can it? Nightmare put them both through hell and everyone needs time to heal. Idk if that makes sense? But I hope you enjoyed.

Original cross and dream belong to jakei95 and jokublog

Original shattered dream belongs to @galacii-gallery

Based off the Dark-Cream ship by @zu-is-here and the comic by @zu-is-here

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browniefox · 3 years

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Color Theory

@wrightfamilyweek Day 2 - Investigation/Hijinks

In which an anniversary is coming up, so Trucy makes some plans.

You can also find this on AO3 right here :)

“Have fun at work, Daddy!”

Trucy runs up to Daddy and hugs him around the stomach. He kisses the top of his head.

“Mmhm, I expect your homework to be done and you to be in bed by the time I get home, alright? No exceptions!"

“Of course!”

“And no trips to Germany, alright? I’m sure you can hold off for another few months.” Daddy teases. Trucy sticks his tongue out at him and he ruffles her hair before going out the door. In a few months, she is going to actually get to go with Daddy on one of his trips to see Miles, a reconnection between the two of them since Trucy's own little trip a year ago.

As the door closes, Trucy runs over to the window and waits until she sees Daddy riding down the street on his bike, officially out of the building. Her homework is already done, most of it finished during class time and the rest of it finished up during recess and on her way home from school. Walking while writing had made her numbers come out a little odd, but it didn’t matter, because now she had hours and hours of time to work.

She stops by the fridge, staring up at the calendar. It’s four weeks away from the date circled in red, and two weeks from the date that sits ominously empty. It’s plenty of time, though.

Trucy makes a lap around the office, double-checking that the windows are locked just like Daddy does every time before leaving. Everything seems safe and sound, so she grabs her backpack and leaves, making sure she has the spare key and locking the door behind her. Daddy won’t be home until late, but she’s still going to make care to be home with plenty of time to spare. The meer idea of putting him through the same fear of last year sits in her chest like a promise.

It’s a few bus-stops to get to Gummy and Maggey’s house. They’re both out at the moment, so Trucy finds the spare key in the fake rock and lets herself in. She’s spent a lot of time over here by now, and the couple has spent alot of time over at the office, the big and towering man she’d met at the airport transforming into a familiar and lovable family friend.

She skips over to the closet, pulling out the supplies stuck in there. Streamers and confetti, magic wands and fake flowers, tumbling out from where Gummy had helped her shove them in last time. She looks down at the supplies and begins organizing it into the different acts that they’re associated with. There’s a lot of pieces, a lot to get over to the Wonder Bar eventually. Keeping so much of it over here makes it harder to practice back at home, but that’s kind of the point, even if it’s really annoying.

Gummy and Maggie came home after an hour, setting their things down and chatting about their day while Gummy starts dinner. The smell fills the house, warm and comforting. Trucy likes the Gumshoe house. It’s not too big, but not too small either. Gummy and Maggey used to clean it up before she came over, but they’ve stopped making that special little change for her, and so she gets to see it all lived in, a sock strewn here, a few dishes left out, pillows lying wherever they were last placed. Small things that make the place not a house but a home. She’s never had a home like this one, and oh there are sometimes where she’ll be lying on the couch and imagine what it would be like to stay here.

She knows she could.

Daddy has made it clear that if she ever felt dissatisfied with the cramped office, with him, all she has to do was say something. Gummy and Maggey have mentioned, before, that they’d be willing to take her in if anything ever happened to Daddy. Gummy had laughed about all the sorts of injuries Daddy tended to accrue, recounting a story about Daddy getting amnesia before a case - Trucy knew that one, she’d read it a bit ago.

Trucy doesn’t want to leave the cramped little office.

After dinner, Trucy uses Gummy’s phone. Gummy and Maggey know how to set up her stuff for a performance by now - they’ve already agreed to be her stage crew for the performance. While they’re doing that, Trucy calls up Aunty Maya.

“How’s my favorite magician doing?” Maya answers, and Trucy can hear the smile in her voice.

“Working on her next trick.” Trucy replies. Maya makes a humming sound.

“Well, things are going well on our end over here. Are you sure about the color? You don’t want to go darker?” Maya asked.

“Nope! It’s, well, there’s a reason for the shade.” Trucy says. She can hear Maya hum in understanding over the receiver.

“Well, I’m almost finished with it, although I’ll probably come up soon just to make sure everything is right. Pearly says hi, by the way.”

“Oh! Is she there?! Is she there?! Hi Pearls!” Trucy shouts over the phone and gets a distant and soft ‘hi Trucy!’.

“When I come down I’ll bring Pearly with me, don’t worry. If I didn’t,she might just run the whole way over there anyway!” Maya laughs and Trucy laughs along.

“If everything’s working out, then I’m gonna have to go. I need to make sure the rest of the show is ready to go!” Trucy says.

“Alright, alright, just say you’re afraid I’m going to start prattling on about the new season of Rubber Samurai. But you know there-”

“Love you Aunty Maya bye!” Trucy hits the end call button still chuckling to herself. She hopes that Aunty Maya makes true on her promise to come back down and to bring Pearls before the big day, but if she doesn’t then Trucy guesses she can wait that long, even if it’ll be agonizing.

She stares at the next number for a long long while before finally hitting the call button.

The phone rings once, twice, three times before he picks up.

“Gumshoe, this had better be fucking import-”

“Hi, Miles!” Trucy chirps. There’s silence on the other end.

“... who is this?” Miles grumbles.

“Trucy Wright!”

“Trucy?!” Miles sounds a little more awake now.

“Yup!”

“Ms. Trucy… why are you calling me at… three in the morning?” Miles groans.

“Th… three in the… OH!” Trucy gasps, feeling her face flush in embarrassment. She’d completely forgotten to take into account time differences. “Oh my god, Miles, I’m so sorry, it’s pretty late here and-”

“It’s, it’s fine Ms. Trucy. Just tell me what you were calling about… from Gumshoe’s phone? Is your father alright?” Worry creeps into Miles voice.

“Oh, yes, Daddy’s fine! Daddy’s just at work right now, and I went over to Gummy and Maggey’s! We had spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, and then we’re gonna play a card game, and then Gummy is gonna drive me back to the office ‘cause it’s all dark now!” Trucy says.

“Ms. Trucy, I don’t mean to sound rude, but again, it is three a.m. here…” Miles sighs.

“Right! Right, um… Mr. Edgeworth, do you think you could help me with a little something.”

“I’m going to need a bit more information than that.”

Trucy rattles off her little plan into the phone. Miles stays silent for the entire explanation, only grunting here and there to assure her that he is still awake and listening on the other end.

“... this is very short notice.” Miles says.

“Oh,” Says Trucy, looking down at her feet, “Well, that’s okay, I’m sure together, the rest of us-”

“I never said I wouldn’t do it, just that next time you’re planning something like This, please, tell me about it a little more ahead of time.”

“Okay! Yeah! Next time! And this time… you can do it?” She double checks.

“Yes, you can count on me, Ms. Trucy.”

“Thank you! Um, I’ll let you get back to sleep, thank you!”

Trucy skips back into the kitchen, where Gummy and Maggey have set up a board game. She still has her show to practice a bit more, and even now thinking about it she’s a little nervous, but she’s found she’s more excited. It’s coming together.

oOo

“Please, Daddy, please, come and see my show tonight? Pleaseeeee?”

Phoenix lets out a long sigh. Trucy is bouncing around in excitement in front of him. She’s already done her stage makeup, and he’d helped her put little weaving braids into her hair. Most of it will be covered up by her hat, but there are usually moments during the performance where the hat comes off, and so she needs to look amazing no matter what’s going on. Phoenix is fine to help her with this, but on today of all days, all he wants to do is sit in his office, read through old case files, and mourn what he has lost.

He was disbarred two years ago. That both feels like too much and not enough time. For the most part, he likes to think that he’s been coping with it well. He’s been working, and raising Trucy, and he’s had some other little things in the works, but on today of all days, it’s so hard to focus and not feel the ache of what was taken from him, of what he’s lost, of those who have come to his door in the past couple years looking for help and having to be turned away.

“Trucy, baby,” Phoenix starts, trying to let her down easy, but Trucy stomps her foot.

“No, Daddy, please, just, just come? To the show? Please?” She begs.

She’s been 'off' all week, too quiet and then too talkative in bursts that serve to confuse Phoenix. Now, there’s something almost akin to fear in her eyes, and it tugs at Phoenix’s heartstrings.

“Alright, sweetie, let me just,” He looks down at himself, still in sweatpants and a hoodie. He’d meant to get dressed today, but even now he’s struggling to find the energy to get into something better, and eventually he just says lamely, “Put some shoes on.”

He gets a pair of beat-up sneakers on and walks outside with Trucy, who is still vibrating with energy. He considers for a moment that perhaps he should buy a new pair of shoes, but then he sees Trucy’s cape, starting to look thread-bare in places and sitting so much shorter on her than it did two years ago. It used to fall to cover her almost completely in a mysterious sort of way, but now you can see her entire hands. Trucy has told him before it’d be fine, her cape had been too long anyway, but maybe he should start to consider how to get her something new and nice. Things for himself could be put off as long as they needed to be.

The ride down to the Wonder Bar is quiet between them, Trucy sitting on his handlebars with careful balance. The first five times they did it, Phoenix had been worried about her falling off or something, but now it was routine if they had anywhere they both had to be and didn’t have the time to puzzle through bus schedules or the budget for a taxi.

Phoenix recognizes some of the people in the Wonder Bar, and Mr. Wunderbar himself comes over and greets.

“Ah, Ms. Wright, so glad to see you! Your assistants are already backstage.” Mr. Wunderbar says. Phoenix’s brow furrows.

“Assistants? You mean the your staff?” Phoenix asks.

“Alright thanks Mr. Wunderbar Daddy find a seat love you bye!” Trucy says in one breath and runs over to the stage.

“This way, Mr. Wright. Trucy asked that we have a table upfront reserved just for you.” Mr. Wunderbar leads the way to one of the tables close to the stage, which does indeed have a a ‘Reserved’ marker on it. Phoenix feels suddenly self conscious in his outfit. He’d been planning to sit in the back, where nobody could see him, and he feels like everybody in the bar, waiting for Trucy to perform, are staring at him.

Mr. Wunderbar took his order and then slipped away. Phoenix drumms his fingers on the table, a cowardice sweeping through him with such force that he almost gets up and walks away. Something odd is going on, and it's making him even more nervous.

“Oh good, Trucy was really worried you wouldn’t show up.”

Phoenix jumps at the familiar voice, and spins around to see Maya and Pearls.

“Wh- hey, what are you two doing here?!” Phoenix jumps up and hugs both of them, “And especially what’s Pearls doing in here?”

“Mr. Wunderbar says that so long as nobody at our table orders drinks, he’ll allow it this once.” Maya says, sitting down, and Pearls sits on the other side of Phoenix, sandwiching him between the Fey’s.

“But why are you two-”

“Now Nick, do you really think we’d let you spend today on your own to mope?” Maya sets her hands on her hips. Phoenix looks away. He doesn’t point out that they didn’t last year, because it’s not their responsibility to look after him. Maya has her own life she’s living. She had texted and called him, though, regularly, throughout the day, at random intervals. She threatened that if he didn’t pick up any of the times, she’d be coming over right way, “I’ll admit, though, clearly we came mostly to see Trucy perform. Right Pearls?”

“Yeah! She’s so amazing, Mr. Nick! And we also had to bring the-” Pearls starts to say, but Maya puts a finger to her lips and shushes Pearls, who’s mouth slams shut.

“... alright, enough of this, what’s going on?” Phoenix asks more plainly.

“So she still hasn’t seen fit to tell you yet?”

And then, slipping into the fourth seat at the table, is Miles. Miles, in California, in the flesh, in the Wonderbar.

“M-Miles! What are you doing here?”

“Your daughter had a simple request, and I obliged.” Miles sniffs, “You look,” Miles regards Phoenix and Phoenix looks away, wishing he’d brought something to cover his head as well, “Alright, all things considered.” He ends.

“No need to sugar coat it, Miles.” Phoenix laughs bitterly.

“I’m not. You seem to forget you’re not the only one who has gone through some trying times.”

Before Phoenix can formulate anything to say to that, the lights in the bar dim. The curtain lifts, but there’s a sheet behind it, so that all once can see of Trucy is her silhouette.

“Now introducing… Trucy Gramraye!” The announcer booms, and there’s some applause, even though nothing’s happened yet, Trucy still not seen.

“There are times that we, in life, come to a crossroads,” Trucy’s voice booms through the speakers over a mystical sounding soundtrack, “ Where we our lives take sudden changes.”

Oh, Phoenix thinks, heart plummeting to the bottom of his stomach, a theory forming in his mind, She wanted me here for her Last Show. Did something happen that made her want to stop being a magician? He’s tried to be supportive, even though he’s had some trouble keeping track of the supplies she needs, and how to help her out, with her teaching him far more than he can possibly teach her about this stuff. He’s offered to get in touch with Max Galactica, but Trucy had made it plain her opinion of that magician.

“Sometimes, you need to say things. And sometimes actions - and appreances - speak louder than words.”

Phoenix almost wants to stand up, to shout at her that no, he doesn’t want her to give up her magic just because she thinks it’s going to make him happy, but he’s frozen in his seat as the sheet of paper hiding his daughter from view is torn through and fog comes rolling out… but she’s not there.

In a puff of smoke, Trucy appears on top of his table. She winks down at him, the spot light finding her.

Her red hat and cape and bag are all gone, replaced by pale blue versions. New, lovingly crafted, and Trucy puts her hands above her head in a pose.

“I am Trucy Gramarye, but your little witch in red is now a magician in blue. Sorry if I startled anybody by coming… out of the blue like that?” Trucy says. She smiles, twirls around, and in another puff of smoke she’s gone. The room goes dark.

The spotlight finds her back on the stage, still in the strange blue uniform.

“Wh-what- when did she-”

“You know, in Kurain, we have to make all our own clothes.” Maya says with a mischievous little smirk.

“You mean you-”

“She wanted to put together something to make sure you weren’t too sad today.” Maya explains, smiling.

Phoenix does his best not to cry so that he doesn’t miss any bit of the show.

When it’s done, Mr. Wunderbar brings over another chair and Trucy sits with them. Phoenix spends the evening surrounded by his friends, by his family, and staring at Trucy’s new outfit. Blue, just like his old suit, he thinks.

“Do you like it?” She asks, surprisingly shyly, right before bed. Phoenix grins, picks her up, and twirls her around.

“You look amazing sweetie. You know, you didn’t have to go through all that just for me.”

“I didn’t do it just for you.” Trucy defends, “I did it because I wanted to! And because I love you!”

“I love you too Truce.”

Tomorrow morning, reality will set in again. He’ll have work, and maybe all the grief he was able to put off today will make a forceful comeback, but tonight he knows he’s loved, and that Trucy wants to be a part of his world, wants to be a part of his broken little family, and maybe that’s all that really matters in the end.

#ace attorney #wrightweek21 #phoenix wright #trucy wright #fanfic #fanfiction #browniefox speaks #browniefox writes

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snarkywrites · 4 years

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August Horoscopes: Hear Me Roar

We have made it to August! Considering everything that has happened this year, August seems like a much-needed breath of fresh air of new beginnings. We are still dealing with the pesky Saturn, Pluto and Jupiter transits, but Leo Season always bring excitement. Being a Fixed Fire sign, Leo Season will allow for us to focus on stability while allowing us to feel the joy. Leo is ruled by the Sun, a promise of confidence, success and hopes. The motivation keeps going thanks to the fire qualities and there is a need to keep fighting, not only to win but to claim our place in the world. Creative energy is abundant for us all, so take the opportunities to create magic. Venus will be in Cancer, showing us a new face of love that is deep and grounding. Mercury will be in a fire sign, letting our communication be bolder and more impulsive. And finally, we enter another Earth sign, Virgo towards the end of the month on the 22nd. Virgo will be grounding and stabilizing, adding to some of the themes we saw in Taurus Season. Let this month sweep you away because it has a lot to offer us during these chaotic times.

Aries – It has been a while since you experienced a dose of fire energy, so this will be a welcoming season for you. Mars is currently in your sign, making a nice trine to the Sun making you feel more inspired and motivated to take action with confidence. This is a great period to exercise your creative prowess and get projects rolling. Things kick off with the Full Moon in Aquarius on the 3rd, making you more connected to people through social networking. You are on top of the world with this transit, getting recognition and closing some cycles from earlier in the year with peace and tranquility. Mercury finally enters the sign of Leo on the 4th, saying so long to the long reign of Cancer and making your communication livelier and more exciting. On the 7th, we finally see Venus leave the sign of Gemini, after a four-month transit and enter the sign of Cancer. This will make you want to splurge on things and make your home pretty. Expect a period of friction but overall peace and tranquility with family. The Hermit Reversed is your card for the month, making you want to reach within and ask yourself some questions. With Venus in Cancer, take the time to meditate, bring harmony and reflect.

Taurus – Your focus will be shifting to the home front during this Leo Season, bringing up opportunities and project you can complete at home. The month begins with the Full Moon in the sign of Aquarius on the 3rd, causing some tension with your sign, as you struggle to bring balance with home and work. Lessons now will be on time management and patience. We are all looking forward to Venus moving into the sign of Cancer on the 4th, making you excited for a new beginning when it comes to your outlook and connection to others. Venus will bring confidence and beauty to your words and mannerisms, a favorable time for you as well as exciting. On August 15th, you might feel the shift when Uranus starts its Retrograde, bringing some of that anxiety and thrills into your live as you begin to reevaluate who you are and what you are going to do! It is fitting that The World is your card for the month with Uranus going Retrograde and your identity being center stage. Do not panic! You should take things easy because slow and steady always wins the race, even if you feel like you need a change.

Gemini – One of the major events this month is that Venus is no longer in your sign but will enter the sign of Cancer on the 7th. Those lessons during the Venus Retrograde should have taught you a lot about yourself and the relationships you have with friends as well as potential romantic partners. Your card for the month is the King of Wands, showing that you are ambitious and motivated for what is to some, which is a great sign. This Full Moon in Aquarius on the 3rd, shows that you are ready for the next phase, as you close out some cycles, gain wisdom and begin to apply what you have learned to your day-to-day life. Your ruler Mercury will enter the sign of Leo on the 4th, adding more of the energy you are used to and once more showing that you are in command of your thoughts and goals. This will be a very favorable period for you as you get to move and begin new goals fearlessly with more wisdom.

Cancer – Exciting beginnings for you this month due to a major event happening which is Venus entering your sign on the 4th, which might inspire a treating yourself mentality, as you reconnect with your power, self-love and confidence. With all of the Cardinal struggles, this Venus transit will feel like a godsend, adding motivation and confidence. The Full Moon in Aquarius on the 3rd, will serve as a time of reflection, as you weigh in on your confidence and goals. Similar themes might repeat towards the end of the year, but for now you will bask in the excitement that Leo Season has to offer. Uranus will be Retrograde starting on the 15th, making things feel unsettling with your friends circle. Expect the unexpected with this transit. Your card for the month is the Two of Pentacles. There might be choices that need to be made regarding finances, this could be related to a project or job. Maybe you might be feeling overwhelmed, so this can be a great time to focus and take things easy. Mercury’s shift into the sign of Leo on the 4th, will be connected to the themes of the Two of Pentacles since you will truly evaluate the state of your finances now.

Leo – Interesting to see that the Six of Swords is your card for the month. With all of these water transits and a new burst of fire energy, you are finally feeling the shift in energy, getting out of a standstill and ready to move forward. This month opens with the Full Moon in Aquarius on the 3rd, having you ponder your relationships and the impact that they will have in your life moving forward. You are closing these chapters and applying those lessons. Mercury’s shift in your sign on the 4th gives you much more confidence and tenacity but it would be wise to watch what you say because your tongue will be sharp this transit. Venus entering Cancer on the 7th will be a pleasant time for you and a moment to relax and reflect. With this Uranus Retrograde transit on the 15th, you might want to reevaluate your status with your job as well as the responsibilities you have at hand.

Virgo – Virgo Season is only several weeks away and you are ready for the changes that are coming. The Full Moon in Aquarius on the 3rd will have you focusing on your well being and it will make you feel right at home since this energy is what helps you thrive. This is bringing you back to basics, planning and fixing up your routines. When Mercury enters Leo on the 4th, this will begin a period of introspection for you, as you measure what you have to say and might be a little reserved with friends and family. Nevertheless, when Venus enters the sign of Cancer on the 7th, you will be connecting to the Queen of Cups energy, which is your card for the month. You are ready to give your heart out and put yourself out there. Your reserved energy will make you more alluring and romantic to others since you will be emotionally in control. When the Sun enters your sign on the 22nd, it will be the initiation period for greater things to happen. Expect lots of joy this month because you have been waiting for a change.

Libra – Three of Swords energy will be prevalent for the month of August as you recover from some heartaches and begin the rebuilding process. Saturn’s transits have not been easy, but you have the handle on things. This Full Moon in Aquarius on the 3rd will bring a period of delight as you await the culmination to some complex topics from earlier this year. Mercury will enter the sign of Leo on the 4th, making your voice heard and feel empowered. Be careful what you say since it will be monitored by many. There will also be the long-awaited Venus sign shift from Gemini into fellow Cardinal sign Cancer, putting you center stage. Expect some surprises with this transit since you may receive some recognition for your hard work. When the Sun enters the sign of Virgo on the 22nd, it will allow for you to retreat and you will enjoy this period of rest since it will provide a break from all of the tougher transits you’ve endured.

Scorpio – Your sign will excel during the month of August since all eyes are currently on you. This Leo Season will have folks looking at your merits and potential. There will be many admirers, especially when Venus enters fellow water sign Cancer on the 7th, creating a trine. Feel the allure and the mystery because people will be buzzing about you. The Full Moon in Aquarius on the 3rd will have you bringing the focus back to your home front, analyzing your course of action for later this year. Mercury is finally out of fellow water sign Cancer and when it enters Leo, you will feel it’s benefic qualities a lot more. You will be in a position to radiate and achieve more success. Your card for the month is the Two of Wands, showing that you are in power and control, ready to take the lead and show everyone just what you are made of. The unstoppable Scorpio reign will continue full force when the Sun moves into the sign of Virgo on the 22nd, allowing you to take center stage with your friends and making more connections through social media (hopefully you are social distancing!) and getting more focused to succeed and make you dreams come true.

Sagittarius – It has felt like quite the journey for Sagittarius this year. Expect a favorable month with the Full Moon in Aquarius on the 3rd, bringing you mental clarity and the keys to unlocking some themes you have questioned earlier in the year. Your card for the month is the Knight of Pentacles, forcing you to take action and what better time to do so during the Full Moon. Mercury enters the sign of Leo on the 4th, making you more willing to take on and explore some more issues and topics you have been curious about. Get the pen and paper ready because your mind will be inspired. Venus will finally leave Gemini, so you will no longer have to deal with the ghosts of your dating past, as well as revisit some tough moments with people you no longer consider friends. Venus in Cancer will show you how to value the world around you and will force you to make changes in your life. The Sun’s entry in fellow mutable sign Virgo will put you center stage on the 22nd. All eyes are on you for the next month, so work hard, stay strong and keep the optimism flowing.

Capricorn – August promises to bring forth some exhilaration for your sign. The Full Moon in Aquarius on the 3rd is a needed guidance to bringing about more stability and grounding in your life. Your card for the month is the Knight of Swords Reversed which ties with this airy Moon which will take you back to basics, allowing for more financial freedom. While the Knight wants to rush, you should take it easy and make moves only when you are comfortable and secure enough in your decisions. Mercury will be in the sign of Leo beginning on the 4th, adding an element of surprise and ties to the themes of the Moon. You are in a period of transition and you will definitely feel the shift. Venus will be in the sign of Cancer starting on the 7th, marking a period of reflection regarding romantic partners from the past and present. This can add to an intense month ahead, especially with Uranus going retrograde on the 15th. Expect some joy and excitement in romance as you will be full speed ahead for the fun you have been longing for some time.

Aquarius – A huge month for you, especially with the Full Moon in your sign on the 3rd. This is a period of transformation and understanding as you brace yourself for what the end of the year has to offer. For many Aquarians, this month will make you reflect on the Saturn transit in your sign. Pieces of what you dealt with will come back in flashes, preparing you for what is to come 2021. Your card for the month is the Two of Swords, focusing on decisions you have been putting off. Do not worry, because Mercury will be in Leo on the 4th giving you the confidence to make a choice after you have evaluated all of the options. On the 7th, Venus finally leaves fellow air sign Gemini and shifts into the sign of Cancer allowing you to step your game up by focusing more on your wants and needs. Uranus will be going Retrograde on the 15th, causing some tension in the home front. Expect some of the unexpected, as you discover new revelations or even ponder a possible relocation. This is a month that will be interesting and exciting for us all. Just make sure to go with the flow, relax and have fun.

Pisces – We finally make it to your sign dear Pisces. This month begins with the Full Moon in Aquarius on the 3rd, bringing you a much needed resting period as you get ready for the next phase for September, big culminations are awaiting you, this is only the start. Venus will be making a trine with your sign since it will be in Cancer on the 7th, which can spark a creative awakening for you. Uranus will be Retrograding on the 15th, which can add a bit of anxiety to your communication. Take it slow and easy, pace yourself and don’t get too carried away if you want to debate others. Channel this energy into creating exciting piece. One of the greater transits this month will be the Sun’s entry in your sister sign, Virgo on the 22nd. The value of friendships, family and romance will be prominent themes this time of year. Thinking about love and romance? You will feel more inclined to open your heart up, especially with your card for the month being, the Four of Wands Reversed. This can still be a period of celebration and joy if you are willing to take the steps.

#Astrology #Horoscopes #Leo Season #Aries #Taurus #Gemini #Cancer #Leo #Virgo #Libra #Scorpio #Sagittarius #Capricorn #Aquarius #Pisces

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nomiliy · 3 years

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I like seeing how different people view Darius (Leonard) Shan as a character.

For me, there are only three versions of Darius that I’ll ever write: The Darius of the doomed timeline, the Darius of the new timeline, and the Darius of the altered timeline where Darren and Steve reconnect.

Darius is a character that I feel a lot of people project themselves into, and with good reason. He objectively had a horrible father and a horrible relationship with his father, which I think a lot of people relate to intrinsically. But for me, Darius’s issues with his family was always a part of his character rather than his entire character. This goes back to an issue I have with the Shandom in general, and fandom in general, where we twist and shape a character to reflect ourselves so much that the character is lost.

So, with all that, here are some head canons I have for Darius that pretty much transend my AUs- and that I feel expand on his character in a realistic way. These don’t touch on his time with the vampires or Vampaneze much, but I might make another post detailing those HCs later~

- Annie was raised Roman Catholic, but didn’t press that on Darius. They maybe went to church for Christmas and Easter, but that was mainly his grandparents doing.

- Darius and Oggy became best friends because Mrs. Bas, Oggy’s mum, use to babysit the boys after Dermot and Angela moved away.

- Darius got into a lot of fights in primary school, mainly because people picked on Oggy so much.

- Despite their issues, Darius is very close with his mum.

- Darius is an excellent shot with ranged weapons. He has spectacular accuracy and reloading speed, something his father (and even Gannen) are quite proud of.

- He’s a Londoner through and through, but oscillates between staying exactly where he is and picking everything up and leaving.

- Darius speaks English and Gaelic fluently. His grandparents, particularly Angela, wanted him to be close to his roots.

- He’s a huge rap and hiphop fan. Some of his favorite artists are Run the Jewels, Eminem, Wiley, Mac Miller, and Skepta.

- Darius unknowingly thinks of Gannen as his grandfather. Despite being short and distant with Darius, Gannen has a soft spot for the boy.

- He’s a really active kid, and generally just really good at sports. He played a lot of football as a child, and that translated into him doing track and field when he got older. He’s in both the football and track & field club, alternating with the on/off seasons.

- Darius is a decent student. He doesn’t really ‘absorb’ the information, but he does memorize materials for tests and then dumps the information afterwards. He’s great with highly structured concepts, but open-ended questions with no objectively right answer leave him struggling.

- He’s a night owl, and enjoys going out to the park, fast food restaurants, and convince stores late at night with Oggy.

- He’s somewhat of a party kid once high school starts. Darius doesn’t go full on balls to wall crazy, mainly cause Oggy is looking out for him, but he’s what you’d call a ‘functional wild child.’

- Darius is great with all types of animals. His mum never let him have pets because they’d be a hassle, but they have a few stray cats and dogs that hang around the house. He would often feed them scraps from dinner or breakfast, and leave out his jackets or jumpers during the colder months for them to bundle up with.

- Darius has the keys to Steve’s childhood home, and stays there sometimes to get away from it all. He also throws the occasional rager. Suck on that, dad.

What about y’alls head canons? Do you share any of these? Are your HCs popular or controversial? Do they completely contradict mine? Let me know!

Darren | Steve

#cirque du freak #darren shan #cdf #steve leonard #the saga of darren shan #darius shan #annie shan #gannen harst #saga of darren shan #cdf headcanon

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autisticangus · 3 years

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anyway im so out of the loop on the mcelboys

i pretty much only keep semi-up to date with Sawbones at this point, not cuz i dont still LIKE everything else, just a lot has been goin on in my life

if anyone wants a long and rambly update on All Of The Bullshit im gonna stick a read more down here, asks are open and its cool to message me abt any of it if u want cuz i have some really nice and cool followers/mutuals here that make me comfy talkin abt that shit

as far as the future of this blog goes i wanna start using it more again! the mcelroys have gotten me out of some really dark places before so i hope having more connection to this community and the people here and their content again will help me like it has in the past! ill probs post more general mcelroy content here than previously rather than just taz btw i just gotta fuckin uhhhhh,,,, catch up on a bunch of shit again before this blog is even semi active lmaoo but im like alive and on tumblr regularly again!!

Wow u clicked on this and wanna hear me talk? Ur awesome and sweet, thanks for caring!

These past two years have been extraordinarily tough. This is gonna be a pretty long and detailed post that deals with the sensitive topics of emotional abuse, abusive relationships, and alcoholism. Please read on with caution.

Back in March of 2019, so this was about 3-4 months after i left tumblr, I got a new boyfriend and things started out really good, he was kind of a "bad boy" and it was fun at first. Im kind of a goody-goody so it was very interesting for me at first to be with someone so different who had such different life experiences than me. I liked hearing his stories of living in a traphouse, and running with gangs, and selling drugs, and knowing people who had killed people. I assumed a LOT of it was lies, obviously, who just brags about that shit u know? I just rolled with it, didnt take it seriously, and found the imagined scenarios interesting to listen to. So much of it was obviously played up to make him seem cooler, and I shouldve seen that as the red flag it was, and all my friends did but I didnt.

He had a serious alcohol problem, I mean I had coffee in the morning and he had 2 four lokos before noon. it was bad. about 6 months into the relationship he decided i was cheating on him with my ex who i had recently reconnected with, we missed being friends and things were really going well talking and being friends again, he was really important to me! but my boyfriend saw this as yet another thing i was doing wrong. when he decided i was cheating, that become his focus of alcoholic rage. nearly every time he got drunk, which was several times a week, he would accuse me of things, he would yell and scream, he would call me horrible names and make me cry for literal hours, he never hit me but that shouldnt even matter, i was emotionally battered and mentally bruised and everything hurt. he gaslit me into believing i said and did things i never said or did, i admitted to things that were not real, and then i was yelled at for admitting them. i didnt know what to do.

he was threatening my ex too, he would get drunk and say he knew where he lived (he didnt) or he knew what car he drove (he didnt) and explained to me many times that although he had never killed someone, people had been killed before at his command. he said a bullet in the back of my ex’s brain was just a phone call and $500 away. somedays he would tell me he was just going to do it himself, with a hammer, or a kitchen knife, or whatever weapon he could get his hands on during his explanation of how he would do it. my only option was to agree, to say it didnt matter to me what happened to him, i had to pretend my on

/ly concern was him going to jail for the crime, if i showed any sign that i didn’t want my ex murdered, it clearly meant i was cheating on him.

i pretended to block my ex on social media to get him off my back and it worked a little bit but he still brought it up. and even if he didnt directly mention him, he would always tell me when he was drunk that i was the cause of all his problems, i was why he was so self conscious, i was why he drank so much, i was why he had to work so hard, i was why every single issue he had was happening. logically i knew it was wrong, but i was so conditioned to it by then that i just went with it. i knew that agreeing and apologizing made the fighting end quicker.

things spiraled this past summer. his job needed us to relocate so we moved like 4 states away, away from all my family and friends, and lived in a tiny hotel room for a month. during this time, his drinking was somehow worse. he was drunk literally every night but he was passing out so we didnt fight and i was relieved. i was depressed being stuck in the hotel room all day alone, but thankful i wasnt being abused at least. then he started getting into drunken fistfights with his coworkers in the hotel parking lot. one day he came home just in time to find one of his drunk coworkers trying to break into the room with me there desperately trying to keep him out. i was terrified and wanted to go home but he convinced me to stay. a couple weeks after that we travelled for his work again several more states away. his drinking got a little bit better here, but i was so depressed and lonely, i was so isolated, he was all i saw day in and day out besides his coworkers and i was nervous around them. one day the guy who tried to break in on me, purposefully, while drunk, hit another coworkers car and totaled it and tried to run the guy over and i saw the whole thing. a week later my boyfriend was also fired because he got so drunk he passed out in the hotel parking lot and the company needed to save face with the hotel after the whole car incident.

so we travelled back home, but not my home, to his where we lived isolated on a mountain with no phone signal or wifi. the house was old and not well kept from being empty for several years, half the appliances didnt work. i was more isolated than i have ever been in my life. for 4 months i stayed there and just dreaded him coming home because i knew he would be drunk again and he'd yell or accuse me of things or otherwise belittle me. it was horrible. my friends all said to leave and my parents said to leave but i was so brainwashed into thinking that if i was just a good little housewife and if i just stayed home and did the dishes and the laundry that he would be nicer but he still found things to point at and say i was cheating. he was also becoming really controlling about my food intake and weight and i already struggle with an eating disorder so that just made me feel even more like i had to stay, my brain felt like if i wasnt under his watchful eye id gain weight again, like somehow it was thanks to him i had lost weight and not my own choices.

one day last week i expressed to him wanting to leave, saying how unhappy i was, i told him how sad i felt and how i didnt think we were such a good match. he didnt take me seriously, so the next day when he got sloppy drunk before 5 pm i packed a small bag and went to my moms. i was just gonna stay for a night or two but he called and screamed at me for leaving without telling him, i told him he just didnt remember me telling him because he was so drunk, and he accused me of not caring about his feelings and made me sound like the bad guy for leaving without his permission. i told him it was just for a few days but the angrier he got the more i knew i was in the right and told him i was done. i told him we were breaking up and id come get my stuff soon.

i got my stuff while he was at work this past weekend and moved in with my best friend. im safe and happy now. things are looking so much better for me and im so thankful to my friends and family who supported me all the way to the end.

i just wanted to make this post because, i know its not mcelroy related, and a lot of ppl probably dont care for stuff like this on this kind of blog, but i think its important.

its important to friends and family of people in abusive relationships to be steady. dont give up your ground. even if the person keeps pushing back and wont leave the person, keep being there for them, it can take a long time, it took me almost 2 years to leave, it takes some people even longer, but just stay there for them and be there for them when they finally make that step. dont give up on them.

and to those who have been in these kinds of relationships, and especially those who are there right now: it is not your fault. it is so, so hard to leave, i know, but please try to find help and support and resources to do it. if all your friends dont like someone, theres a good reason for it. please dont fall into the trap of thinking your friends dont have the best intentions for you. there are so many things you may overlook in the moment that others can see from a mile away are horrible. especially if you have been abused in the past. its incredibly hard to tell what is a red flag when your gut instinct is that anything and everything is a red flag. surround yourself with people who you can trust and listen to them

and trust me, i know how hard it is when youre stuck in that spot of KNOWING you should go but fearing that first step away. its scary. its difficult. but it is worth it. find someone safe you can be with. and if you arent sure, find a reason to leave for just a few days, an excuse, anything. give yourself space from the abuser, tell yourself youre going back in a couple days, just get out from under the thumb long enough to clear your head and things will make more sense with the fog lifted.

when i first got in my car and put my kitten on my lap and told her we were going to my moms for a couple nights, i didnt know if that was the truth. i planned to come back and i knew i didnt want to. i only took enough stuff for a couple days. i couldnt imagine my life changing so drastically. where would i live? how would i make money? who take care of me? i had no clue about any of those things. but after a couple days away I realized i would take care of me. i remembered that i had worked jobs before i was with him, i could do it again. i remembered that i had options of where to live. all of those things were so clouded when i was with him, they felt like impossibilities. once i was away, even just for a short time, things were so much easier to parse.

and i know i had many privileges in this journey not everyone is afforded, and my heart goes out to those who read this and are in this situation and the options i had just arent accessible to you, i am so sorry, i wish i had something more to offer you but all i have is my story, and a wish that it gives you some hope at the very least, and a promise that if you need someone to talk to, im here, i will listen, and you will be heard and loved.

i just want everyone who reads to take something small but important away from it. love your friends, love yourself. please stay safe. please dont give up. remember love should not hurt.

#angus.txt #getting deep in here but it felt good to write #i love u all so much ok pls be good urselves

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transcriptroopers · 4 years

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I woke up in Ferguson. I was on deployment to the Middle East when Michael Brown was murdered, but we had a huge flatscreen in our DFAC that ran Fox News constantly.

While deployed, we did nothing -- our entire job meant watching for a missile that would never come. Our weapons were locked away. We were more concerned about Marines and MPs causing trouble than terrorists. The scariest thing we did was drive to work. We were considerably safer and more comfortable than any of the protestors we saw. To this day I'm thanked for spending a year away from home doing Nothing; to this day we don’t know what happened to the 6 Ferguson protestors who turned up dead in mysterious circumstances.

I've been thinking about this recently because I was forced to cut contact with my brother. We lost contact in our youth, but reconnected a couple years ago. I’ve been financially supporting him since he got out of prison. We haven’t had a hard talk about racism, but it finally came out during the mass protests recognizing George Floyd. At first he was civil, but the firmer I was, the more aggressive he became, and the more implicitly racist he got. You can’t reeducate someone like that. These people can only be shunned, refused an audience, and told in no uncertain terms that they are wrong.

I look back at Ferguson. It’s been six years. I’m nearly thirty, but he’s about the age I was when I woke up. I’m hoping that he realizes I’ve been compassionate and supportive and that there must be a reason I’m shunning him now. I know a lot of people are struggling with intolerant families during all this, but it’s imperative that they hear it from us. They need to know that those closest to them will not support behavior that benefits white supremacy. Silence is compliance.

The good news is that I am not financially supporting him anymore, which leaves me with six months of budgeted monthly allotment and nowhere to send it. So I’ll be redirecting the funds to organizations and charities that benefit Black lives, including but not limited to The Black Visions Collective The Innocence Project Trans Women of Color Collective The Black Alliance of Just Immigration INCITE!

I was never an artist, but I’ll try to doodle a Pokemon for you if you donate to one of these charities. Just show me a screencap that contains both your donation and this post, and request a Pokemon, Digimon, or some other small monster creature.

BLM, no justice no peace

#blacklivesmatter #blm #george floyd #michael brown #acab

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moonstone27ls · 4 years

Text

Season 11 of Archer is VERY hard to watch

Yes I will never deny that Archer is a big idiot. But for all the gripping and complaining people do, he has some good characteristics. So watching him struggle this season has been VERY hard. I’ll be honest I didn’t watch ep 1, because I could see right away Lana had left him. And yes I have problems with that, screw you people who are gushing over his voice actor (no offense/i’m venting/and also no offense to the actors its not them its the story). Robert is literally “too perfect” and whats ironic is that he’s basically everything Lana hated about Archer, Malory and lets be honest she was pissed at him over Veronica Deane. So the whole “we have a whole ying/yang thing”. I’m “Dude you had that with Archer. You want basically a male version of Malory why?!” Doesn’t excuse he’s bad at racism or maybe worse considering its Malory level than Archer. Is Archer a big racist... heh he’s a little above Robert & Malory to know what not to say.

And yes I know him/Lana have always had a volatile relationship, but before the writers brought in Veronica Deane I wanna note that they were in a good relationship. They were raising AJ as a family and the Deane cheating for once left me with mix feelings. Cause yes it was stupid of him to throw it away on a childhood crush. But two before she put him on a break, Archer had been confronted with the idea that he’d be cheating on Lana during their hollywood season. So for once Archer didn’t give into impulse. And I think that Krieger robot showed some of his emotions he didn’t know to say right away, cause yeah I do see them getting married. Until Robert came or these damn writers 8/.

Now before someone wants to call me on BS, wanna note that I’m not entirely surprised Lana got married. It was 3 years, she had to think of herself and AJ. What bothers me is that she met a man she knew 8 months, who was basically Veronica Deane’s age (maybe older?) and married him. Last ep shows she doesn’t really know her husband but she wants to stay because again Robert’s too “perfect” to let go of. I think it annoys me and yes I’m venting after seeing tonight’s ending that she cut Sterling out of A.J.’s life. To a degree yes the whole sleeping beauty thing was perfect to a t. But it didn’t make up that for 3 years, she told A. J. to call Robert “daddy” and cut Archer out of the picture and referred to him as the sperm bank(Okay not in those words but you get my point). Again to a degree I get it, coma, couldn’t sit waiting, had a baby to take care of all sha-bang-bang. But again for 2 years she AND Archer were raising A.J.. This wasn’t “I’m doing this all on my own and every now and then he shows up”. No. Archer had his bender and he was learning to be a dad, over time he and Lana reconnected. They raised her for 2 years (though honestly thought A.J. was 6) as a FAMILY. So for better or worse, bitter feelings aside she should have said “A.J. Daddy’s sleeping, but its okay cause Robert is gonna be a good stepfather” that I could have let go.But watching her run to Robert, calling him dad indicated what I didn’t wanna see. That Lana cut him out.

And as stupid as Archer can be I still see why he’s so defensive about Lana shipping her off to boarding school at FIVE. Lana’s known Archer for how many seasons? She knows he had a shitty childhood and mother, so to see all this change, wouldn’t she understand to a point why he’d be so upset. He just sees Lana turning into his mother. Okay and again to clarify I’m not calling Lana that, I’m just saying I can see his perspective. I saw enough to know Lana and A.J. have that mother bond and it was obvious.

I dunno considering that Lana always gripped that she wanted better than Archer & I assume that’d be Malory too (hey he got those bad habits from someone) I’m baffled she still wants Robert. Are there seriously noooooo sane people her age? No and I’m sorry to say, this but I read someone’s tumblr rant well and they made a point, are there no black billionaires or men she could have dated? I dunno yes I know people love Robert already, also mostly for that voice actor. But I’m sorry I hate someone “too perfect” and the irony is he’s not, he’s basically Malory and Lana wants that? To those planning to give me go team Robert, leave me alone, I’m just gah I can be disappointed. Again not a dummy, I know why Lana quit Archer and I’m not gonna ever say she’s at fault. I’d just prefer to see some form of empathy considering she tried understanding him for years/and tried being a friend. I mean that was kinda why I did love their dynamic.

So its been really hard to watch Archer cause yeah he’s struggling. He still hasn’t been able to fully walk without his cane. Everyone (at least writing wise BP) prefers Robert, he’s lost Lana not just as his girlfriend but his best friend. We’ve watched this season, its obvious he’s not over her and while he deserves a lot of what Lana gives him later (pick a scene). I mean yes again, I get Lana’s often reactions and he does deserve some of her repercussions, you don’t see a lot of scenes where she tries to be his friend. You still can tell he’s struggling, beside his mother, Archer probably does feel all alone. And this ep did not help him with his recovery. I mean sorry writers the whole “sleeping beauty” bit doesn’t make up for A.J. calling Robert daddy aka meaning Lana cut him from that role.

I just wish instead of all this struggle, he’d get some reprieve. I dunno next season have him hang out with Barry and find a real best friend since Lana’s gone now. I dunno I just think Archer needs a friend, granted they need someone who’s got a strong will. But new Barry might be up to the job.

#archer spoilers #archer #archer fxx #will delete later

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jjmaybanksbaby · 4 years

Text

monsters | kiara carrera

gif by @jjmaybnk

summary: Kiara opens up to the Pogues about her struggles with anxiety and depression.

tw: discussion of depression & anxiety, panic attack

requested? yes

a/n: taking care of your mental health is so so important. i do wanna preference this by saying that a lot of what kie goes through is based off my own struggles with bad anxiety. to anyone struggling with your mental health please remember: you are never alone. it does get better, hang in there just a little longer.

——————————————————————————

Kiara hated everything about the idea of being a Kook. She made it her life mission to be the furthest thing from a one. She couldn’t stand the way they threw their money around like it would never run around. The way they didn’t seem to care if they hurt other people as long as they were advancing their own interest. What she hated the most was the insurmountable pressure to be perfect that came with being a Kook. Kiara had seen first hand how that pressure could ruin people because it almost ruined her.

Midway through her Kook year, Kiara had began to slip into a mild depression. She started missing school because she couldn’t will herself to get out of bed. Kiara’s mom had suffered with depression from a young age so when she noticed Kie start to do some of the same things she did when the dark clouds moved in, she took Kie to see a therapist who helped her figure out the right medication. With a combination of the two, Kie started to perk back up.

Kie really started to feel like herself again when she transferred to Kildare County High School and reconnected with JJ, Pope and John B. Being around the Pogues was so easy, they didn’t demand perfection from her.

But Kiara kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. She kept waiting for something to come and drag her back to that dark place she’d been freshman year. No matter how wild and fun the adventures with the Pogues were, she couldn’t seem to make that achy feeling in her stomach go away.

It didn’t help that college application season was starting and her parents keep trying to pull Kie back into the Kook life. She got it: her parent’s only wanted what was best for her. They wanted her to have the same opportunities they had. But what Kie really wanted was for things not to change. She didn’t wanted to think about high school ending and the Pogues splitting up. She didn’t want to move to a school far away and start over. She was terrified of change but how could she possible tell her parents that. So she stayed quiet, letting that horrible feeling eat away at her a little more each day.

Kie had woken up early that morning and went down to the beach to surf as the sun came up, desperately trying to clear her mims. Currently, she was throwing some essential in a bag before she headed to the chateau to spend the day with the boys.

She just about to walk out the front door when her mother called her name from the kitchen.

“Kiara, come in here please. There’s somebody I’d like you to meet.”

Kie closed her eyes for a second, trying to muster the courage to walk into the kitchen. Recently, her mother had been parading admission counselor after admission counselor in front of her in some desperate attempt to get Kie excited about college. Earlier this week it had been Mr. Devon from Northwestern and the week before that, Mrs. Rockster from UNC. Kie could only imagine who was waiting for her today.

Kiara pasted a smile on her face and headed into the kitchen, mentally calculating how long it would be before she could make her escape.

“Honey, this is Ms. Cabot from William & Mary. My alma mater, you remember?”

Ms. Cabot stuck out her hand and Kiara shook it half hearted. “Your mother tells me you want to study business. That’s a sensible major.”

Kiara snuck a glance at her mother.

Business, really? She thought. They had never talked about what Kie wanted to major in, mostly because every time her parents tried Kie found an excuse to escape the conversation. The idea of college made Kie so anxious she wanted to throw up.

“William & Mary has an outstanding business program. Your mother knows, she experienced it first hand.”

Kie’s mother threw her head back in an exaggerated laugh. “Those where the days.”

“Mom, I’m supposed to be meeting my friends right now. I...” Kie trailed off.

“Honey, why don’t you sit down and let Ms. Cabot tell you about William & Mary.” Kie saw her mother’s smile get a little tighter and she knew she wasn’t getting out of this anytime soon. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and sent a quick text to the Pogues to let them know she wouldn’t be coming today before sliding onto a stool at the island.

...

A few days later after her mom’s latest college ambush, Kie and other Pogue were arriving back at the chateau after spending all day out on the water. There was a party at the Boneyard later that night but Kie wanted to stop at home to shower and change before they went. She grabbed her backpack and went to step onto the dock. Suddenly, her vision went blurry and she had grab the railing on the dock to stop herself from falling. Everyone but Pope had been to busy doing their own thing to notice what had just happened.

“You good, Kie?” Pope asked.

Kie nodded in her head without turning around to face him. “See you later.” She replied as she started to walk to her car. Kie placed a hand on her stomach which had suddenly started to hurt very badly. As Kie replayed the day in her head, she realized she had barely eaten anything all day. She’d had a banana for breakfast and nothing for lunch.

Kie’s pulse started to race. One of the signs that her mental health was starting go downhill was when she stopped eating without realize it. Kie felt a few tears collecting in her eyes but she willed them to disappear. She wasn’t ready to accept that maybe her mental health was getting a lot worse than she wanted.

...

The Boneyard party was already in full swing when Kie arrived. She’d taken a nice, long shower when she’d gotten home and eaten a full meal to make sure she didn’t have a repeat of this afternoon. The boys cheered when they saw Kie approaching the keg.

JJ let out a high pitch whistle. “Damn Kie. You aren’t leaving anything up to the imagination tonight.”

Kie rolled her eyes at JJ’s comment. She’d spent quite a while picking out the perfect outfit before finally settling on a pair of high wasted white-washed jean shorts and a flowy bikini top that she felt uber confident in.

The night had been going alright for the most party. Kie had danced a little bit, had a few drinks and doged a couple of Touron’s offers to hookups. Kie was sitting around the bonefire with JJ and some other locals who she half knew when the conversations turned to college. Kie felt that familiar gut wrenching feeing at the sheer mention of college. She took a deep breath in, trying to make sure no one could see how anxious the conversation was making her feel.

“Right, Kiara?” Kie perked up at the sound of her name. It was coming from brunette girl who Kie had had history class with last semester.

Isn’t her name Megan? Or maybe Molly? Kie thought. “Yeah?” She said out loud.

“Well we were just saying how college applications aren’t even stressful for you cause you’re basically a Kook and you can just pay for a library or something if you don’t get in.” The brunette said.

Kie felt her heart start to beat so fast it blocked out all other noises.

This girl doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She doesn’t know you. It’s okay. Just laugh it off. Kie thought. But her palms were extra sweaty and her throat felt dry even despite the drinks she’d had. Kie knew she needed to get away from this party.

She turned to JJ. “I...um...I’m gonna go back to...I’m gonna...I’ll be at the chateau.” Kie said tripping on her own words.

She handed JJ what was left in her cup and then began to leave the party. Kie tried to even out her breath but it was becoming harder and harder to breathe. Tears flooded her eyes and her shoulders began to shake from her sobs. She made it to the edge of the Boneyard before she had sit down. Her thoughts were running faster than she could comprehend them. She felt overwhelmed and she couldn’t seem to focus on anything.

Unexpectedly, Kie felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked over to see JJ sitting in the sand next to her.

“You left so fast- are you okay?” JJ could see the panic on Kie’s face. “Wait here,” he said. “I’m getting the others.”

Kie hung her head between her legs and closed her eyes to focus on slowing down her breath while JJ searched for John B and Pope. Her thought had begun to slow when the three boys showed up.

Pope plopped down next to her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. John B sat down close to Kie on her other side. JJ stood above them awkwardly before sitting down too.

“What’s up?” Pope asked her. “JJ said you were upset about something some chick said?”

Kie wiped the tears off her face with her palms before looking up at the boys. “It’s actually more than that,” she began. “I never told you guys this but during my Kook year I had a few really dark months. I had been doing a lot better but lately with all this college talk and stuff, it’s been getting bad again. When that girl made a comment about me being a Kook it just- just pushed me over the edge. I’ve spent so much time running from all the pressures of Figure Eight but I can’t really escape them. And my mom, she keeps parading admission officers in front of me like it’s gonna make me fall in love with the idea of college or something.” By the time Kie stopped talking, a whole new set of tears were streaming down her face and her voice cracked on the last words. But she felt such relif to finally tell someone how she was feeling.

Pope pulled her a little closer to him and Kie rested her head on his shoulder. “If it makes you feel better, JJ probably doesn’t even know how to spell admission officer.” Pope said.

“He’s right. I don’t.” JJ replied which caused Kie to laugh a little.

If there was one thing the Pogues knew how to do was make her laugh, no matter the situation.

“Have you told your mom how you feel?” John B asked her.

“No.” Kie said. “She has these dreams of me getting into some Ivy League college and I- I just don’t want to upset her.”

“Maybe you should talk to her?” JJ offered.

Kie took a long, deep breathe. Her mom had been her saving grace during her depression. But Kie could already picture the hurt on her mom’s face after she’d told she wasn’t interested in any of the schools her mom wanted her to attend.

“Whatever you decide to do, we’re always gonna be here for you Kie.” JJ said, placing his hand on top of her’s.

“Yeah.” John B agreed. “Pogues for life. You’re never gettin’ rid of us.”

“Once a pogue, always a pogue.” Pope added.

“C’mon.” JJ said as he stood up. He offered his hand to Kie and pulled her up onto her feet. “Let’s go back to the chateau and watch some shitty movie. This party is dead anyway.” He slung his arm across Kie’s shoulder and she leaned on him as they walked out of the Boneyard.

“I love you guys.” Kie said glancing at her three best friends.

“We love you too.” John B replied with a smile.

JJ looked over at Kie before he took off sprinting. “Last one day back to the chateau sleeps on the floor.” He hollered over his shoulder.

The Pogues glanced at each other before running after him. Opening up to the Pogues certainly hadn’t fixed everything but knowing she had them to talk to if she needed made her feel better, even thought they really were knuckleheads half the time.

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ericsonclan · 3 years

Text

One Step Back

Summary: Marlon hopes to regain his friendship with Sophie and decides to break the ice with a sparring match but things don't go as he hopes...

Word Count: 1000+

Read on AO3:

Marlon let out a deep breath as he pulled the barrel across the deck of Ol’ Kickass. With the sun beating down on his skin and sweat coating his shirt he was already feeling drained. But this would be worth it. With one final grunt Marlon rolled it to a stop and smiled at the barrel of sparring weapons he had brought out.

Aasim had let him know that Sophie was clear for sparring but only in short sessions. He had also told Marlon that he must go easy on Sophie during the matches. Too much strain on her physically could set her back and that would diminish her determination. Marlon took that to heart and knew he had to be careful.

The blond pirate glanced down at the training swords with another smile. He was just happy that he now had something he could do to spend time with Sophie again. Some way to reconnect with her and slowly build their friendship back up again. It had been a few months since the fight and the two had only held a few small conversations. Nothing special or meaningful. Just talks about how the sea looked calm or how the stew was particularly tasty that night. But anytime it seemed like it was going anywhere, Sophie would leave. Marlon pinned his hopes that this would be the perfect icebreaker to potentially start to mend their friendship.

He looked around the deck, his pale blue eyes trying to spot Sophie. Willy was currently trying to wrestle an apple out of Garbage’s mouth that the sneaky possum had stolen from him while to his right Prisha was in a heated conversation with Aasim. They were arguing over some topic with a word too long and complex for Marlon to even hope to try and understand. His eyes continued to scan the deck, catching sight of Louis carrying some supplies with AJ who was determined to carry as much as the captain. Louis reassured the afroed pirate that he didn’t have to carry that much while at the same time encouraging him when he saw the determination in AJ’s eyes.

After another moment or two Marlon finally spotted Sophie who was sitting next to Brody. The two pirates were deep in conversation while Sophie was trying her best to sketch something. Her eyes were deeply focused on the paper but he could tell by the way they shone that she was happy. Sophie laughed softly and had a gentle smile on her face as she turned to respond to Brody.

This was his chance. Chores had wrapped up for most of the day. She was in a good mood. The training equipment was here. Marlon took another deep breath. Praying that this would work, he strolled over towards the pair of friends. “Hey Sophie,” Marlon smiled and gave a small wave. “I heard from Aasim that you could spar again. So, I thought that maybe… only if you want to... you could spar with me?” He felt his nervousness spike. He really hoped she would say yes. If she said yes then it could fix everything.

Sophie looked up at the blond pirate,the smile on her face quickly fading away. “Sure. Sorry, Brody. We can talk some more later. Is that okay?” Sophie stood up and glanced back down at her friend. The auburn pirate looked between Sophie then over at Marlon. She could see the emotions within both of their eyes. Both of them wanted different things. But for some reason Brody felt in her gut it was a good idea to let this sparring match happen.

“Yeah. I’ll see you later.” Brody rose and made her way over to the ship’s wheel to check on the status of their destination while still being nearby enough in case this whole match went south.

Without another word Sophie moved past Marlon and strode over to the weapons barrel. Slowly the redheaded pirate took out two wooden swords. It was obvious in a moment that her thumbs were struggling to move into the right position. Their strength seemed to barely hold up the wooden blades. Marlon ran over and quickly picked up his blade. After double checking to make sure it had his special carved mark on it the pirate got into his fighting stance.

“You ready?” Marlon gave a competitive smile, one that he had given Sophie many times over the countless sparring matches they’d had.

“Yeah.” Sophie’s voice was monotone and flat. She didn’t wait a second. Pushing her feet off the wooden deck, she rushed forward. Sophie would be the first to attack. Her right blade came towards him slow and weak as it flimsily moved. Marlon easily blocked it, causing Sophie to almost drop the sword. The redhead’s eyes hardened as she focused on holding onto the sword.

Marlon felt the tension slowly rising around them. Sophie was clearly upset as she went for another attack only for it to completely miss its mark once Marlon sidestepped it. She swore under her breath and tried to recover but Marlon wasn’t giving her that chance. With one swift attack he knocked the swords out of her hands. The wooden swords clattered to the deck and slid across it.

The tension was palpable now, the air around them stiff and suffocating. No one made a sound. They all watched in unsure silence. Sophie’s eyes fell, hidden as she looked at the blades now scattered on the deck. A look of utter frustration was on her face. Her hands curled up into fists, her thumbs still not fully able to do the action with her other fingers.

Marlon wasn’t sure what to do so he walked forward and gave his best reassuring smile.

“It’s okay, Soph. With some more practice and time, you’ll be back to your old fighting self.”

Sophie didn’t bother to look up as she spoke, her voice holding a venom within it. “Careful, you don’t want to have a habit of making promises you can’t keep.”

Marlon felt his chest twist at the words. They cut deep. He was sick of this. All the small comments, all the glancing, all the moments Sophie had avoided him at all costs. The anger and frustration he had felt over the past few months quickly boiled over. He wasn’t going to put up with it anymore. He’d speak his truth.

“I did the right thing.” Marlon’s voice was low as he glared at her.

Sophie’s eyes shot up at his statement. Immediately they hardened as she looked at the blond pirate. “How was lying to me about saving Minnie the right thing!” Her voice grew louder and her footsteps crashed against the deck as she stormed towards him.

Marlon slowly took a few steps back. His eyes caught the sight of Louis whose face was heavy with worry. Louis tried to step forward in hopes of intervening and stopping the fight from truly breaking out. But he was quickly stopped by Clementine; her grip on his arm was firm. When the captain looked down at her, she shook her head. Clementine seemed to share the same thought as Marlon in that moment. This conversation, no matter how heated it got, needed to happen.

Marlon’s attention instantly went back to Sophie. “I did it to save your life!” he snapped at her, his chest heaving.

“You ruined my life that day! You shattered it to pieces! Threw a part of me into the sea!” Sophie’s voice was thick with hatred as she glared at him.

Marlon’s eyes widened with pain at those words, his heart aching in pain before his eyes hardened once more. “If I had gone back, I would have put everyone’s lives at risk! The sinking of the Delta pirates’ ship would’ve destroyed our ship too!” He circled her, eyes never leaving her face. Sophie’s eyes never broke contact as they made circle after circle.

“Then I should’ve stayed behind!” Sophie’s eyes were starting to sting as her body trembled slightly.

“Your arms were useless!” Marlon spat and gestured towards Sophie’s hands which held large pink scars around her thumbs. Her arms now bore disturbingly long ribbon-like scars that ran up their length and never seemed to end. “They were covered in blood and you were barely conscious!” Marlon noticed Sophie wince at those words, her eyes breaking contact with his as her concentration drifted to her arms. A minute of silence passed between the pair. Sophie never stopped looking at her arms.

“I-I could’ve helped Minnie take down...” Sophie’s voice was barely coherent as she tried to continue to argue.

“Brody and Prisha told us about their fight with Lilly! They couldn’t defeat her and it was clear that day that you couldn’t either!” Marlon snapped at her when suddenly he saw a sight that made him freeze.

Tears were dripping down her face, never ending, copious amount of tears. The tears of her grief fell down and splattered onto her scarred arms.

“Shit. Soph… I didn’t-” he reached out a hand only for it to be smacked away. Sophie’s arm went limp to her side as she locked eyes with him.

“You think I don’t know that?” Her face was drenched in tears as her eyes shone with her grief and self hatred. The sight made Marlon’s heart twist in agony. Sophie’s eyes held a world of pain within them. “I was weak. A pathetic, useless, good for nothing fighter. And it cost me my sister’s life.” She extended her arms, holding them out as the fresh scars shone in the light.

A realization hit Marlon in that moment.This was the first time he had seen her without the bandages.

“These scars prove it.” Sophie’s voice cracked as she spoke. “A constant reminder of the truth. A constant reminder of my failure.”

Marlon tried to step forward but before he could reach her Sophie had turned away, sprinting off and disappearing below decks. Marlon stood frozen in place, unable to fully process what he had just heard as the weight of Sophie’s words crashed over him like a wave.

#twdg #twdg marlon #twdg sophie #twdg marlie #twdg brody #twdg louis #twdg clementine #twdg garbage #twdg willy #twdg aj #fanfic #a pirate's life for me au

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yggdrasil-mith0s · 3 years

Text

I'm thankful for this community and you all.

Here's some info on me and the last few years along with this community and how it's been a part of me the whole time.

Happy Thanksgiving: recently I've been a little more open about my personal life on the blog. Usually I use the Discord but U do like to share on here about it as well. I feel like this fandom deserves to know the person behind this blog and what I am going through because I dont want to be just some fandom blog. I want to be a blog that creates a community of friends. A safe community for every gender or non gender specific people. A place for people with a similar interest and something to talk about to help get past our anxieties and even fears in some cases. Someone once joined our Discord and after a few weeks they were saying " I saw the link for a week when you first made it. I was scared to join. I don't like social interactions and Discord seems confined and for that soecifically so I thought I would lurk. Everyone was so kind I opened up and told yall some things I've never really told anybody. It's one of the best choices I've ever made (them joining the discord server) and everyone is so loving and accepting."

This honestly made me so happy. If I can pick out things and passions that's make me happiest and truly brings a smile to my face... it's stuff like that. It's this fandom and more specifically, this community, that keeps me going and happy. Everyone is so kind, loving, and accepting. I'm so happy it has come to what it is now and wouldn't change a thing. This person got over their fear of socially interacting within the fandom and then shared something they feared being judged for and never really shared with anyone besides 2 or 3 people. No one brings it up. It's a trusted piece of information and we will keep it at that. We are still growing, too, and I will post the link here soon. I'm so happy I created this blog, kept it going, and fell in love with the series, fandom, and this community. It's funny because I was talking to a cosplayer who did some tales stuff and asked for permission to post their work on this blog. When I shared my blog they said "Oh I know that blog. I dont use Tumblr anymore but I think I followed that blog" and It made me squee with joy. This amazing cosplayer followed this blog and it just baffles me cause she is so talented. That makes me wonder how many of you are out there but being modest, not realizing how happy it makes me that you're here. By the way, I see you artist out there with so much talent and acting like you arent that good. Yes you are. I cant even draw straight lines or a cheeto but you can draw Tales characters and I actually know who they are. That is talent whether you realize it or not. Some of you are extraordinary artist by the way. Truly, and I keep thinking how your work will eventually blow up, at the very least in the fandom, and how talented you are, and you follow me. Thank you for being here. I love you all so so much. You're all amazing.

I have been going through a lot and not as active as I have been but I am working on getting back in full circle. I entrusted the server to a few great friends, I am back in it with full mod access but I don't do anything except watch for anything that may be said in the wrong way or something but that literally never happens so I dont do anything lol. Those friends have done great with the server and created more channels and even community nights. I saw Roleplaying of Tales characters recently, too, which makes me happy it's still very active and people feel comfortable there and it's thriving.

Anyways, I havent been doing well. I have and I havent. In the past few years I've been bouncing between houses, getting away from my abusive mom, losing jobs, then going homeless. Having suicide attempts, one point getting real bad and ending up in the hospital to a "psych ward." It was really a detox and center for suicidal people on hold before going home. I went for suicide because I havent relapsed, thank goodness, but I did attempt suicide. I've drank and gotten stupid drunk but no drugs for me in 3 years+ now. Anyways... after that I got sent/told about this halfway house in Downtown Augusta GA. I went with no other options. I was homeless at this point from being in the hospital for 15 days (including psych ward) and no job. I slowly worked my way up from having nothing to... well frankly still having nothing lol. Btw my oldest brother passed before the suicide attempt. He was physically abusive at times and at other times loving. I should take the time to mention my dad passed away when I was 10 as well. So it was my mom, two older brothers, and a little sister. I raised my little sister cause my mom became alcoholic. She was somewhat loving but once I hit my teens she became mentally abusing saying super harsh things and ignoring my depression and anxiety like they weren't real. She said some of the nastiest stuff. We got into fights. The fandom helped me escape and leave her home. Anyways. I still dont have anything to my name except a house and a crappy job... but this community is still thriving and helping me during cut hours of covid and has just been supportive and amazing. My mom passed away a few months ago. So it's just my one brother and little sister now and today I spent it with my little sister. We talked about things I wanted to talk about for so long. Mom was always nice to her and spoiled her and used me and verbally abused. She literally abused both one else. I have a theory and it's because the older I got the more I reminded her of my dad who abused her. Except I reminded her of his kindness that she fell in love with (which to her was lies and manipulation). So she took out everything on me. Anyways.

So my sister and I talked and let a lot out and a lot go. I might actually have a relationship with a family member that I havent had in 11 years. It was with her but we are reconnecting it seems. There's still a lot to go through.... and she's struggling and got her own stuff going on so she cant help me and I cant help her other than by building a relationship. I dont think it would've happened if it wasnt for you all.

I truly believe it's this community that has kept me alive and well these past few years. Thank you so much. This isn't some obligatory thank you. Or a forced "I love you." This is an appreciation for you all. This is heartfelt and as serious as I can be when I say thank you and I love you. You have been my family for years now. It was small. It stayed small for a while but at some point it grew and grew fast. We have over 100 people on our discord and over 1.5I followers in this community among the Tales of fandom and continue to grow slowly. Not everyone is active and some only come in here and there and that's okay. They are still family and they are included in this as much as those that help run the discord now. You all matter so much to me. You're my family and a part of my journey. Thank you all so much and again, I love you. Take this post how you want but do me a favor... use it to remind yourself that you matter. You matter to me. I love you and I mean it. You are a part of a family. A community that accepts all, never judges, helps each other, and only loves. You are a part of that as much as anyone else. And you matter.

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prettywordsyouleft · 5 years

Text

Through His Eyes - Part 13 [Final]

Summary: Losing your sight after your accident was traumatic, and Jaebum’s guilt of knowing it should have been him instead creates an intricate bond between you both, as you overcome adversity and try to find your way in life again.

Genre: angst / romance

Characters: Im Jaebum x female reader

A/N: This story is emotional and raw compared to some of the content on my blog. It is in no way an attempt to glamourise or undervalue the lives of those who suffer from something similar. This story is purely fictional.

Index: Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13

Jaebum was unable to relax.

Over the last year of your relationship with him, he believed he had mellowed out considerably. You had found yourself when you were apart and only continued to flourish at his side. If anything, you called the shots more than he did.

Which was rather refreshing.

Sometimes he didn’t agree with some of the choices you made, and since both of you were stubborn, it had led to a lot of arguments. Only to end up back in each other’s arms, apologising, compromising, reconnecting.

Jaebum had been adamant about refuting one thing you wished to do, however.

“Come on, like it’ll happen again,” you whined, and he groaned loudly, reaching down to fill Nora’s food bowl and then turning to the breakfast dishes pointedly.

Your arms slipped around his waist soon after, and he paused in scrubbing the plate, your lips finding his bare skin easily. After a series of kisses that led up to his ear, you sighed into him, Jaebum not needing to turn to see the pout now upon your lips. “Just one time, please?”

“I’m not relenting on this,” he announced and for three months, he had successfully stuck to this vow. He couldn’t fathom having you in the same situation as you had been that day. Even if you both agreed that your accident had to happen for you to be this in love with one another, Jaebum still wanted your eyes to see the world that he did. He knew in some sense, you did. Your artwork had been recognised and now you were being offered the opportunity of holding an exhibition. You spent just as many hours working as he did now, sometimes your schedule was fuller than his was. Your paintings and sculpts littered his apartment as much as your own, taking up as much residence as you did in his home.

Not that he minded, he loved whenever you stayed over with him.

But he had to admit your world had grown considerably larger and you weren’t struggling to keep up with it. And that was one of the reasons why Jaebum had eventually been overruled with his protective stance. There were only so many excuses he could use that you couldn’t refute. With the growth of your business-like mind, your tact and articulation exceeded his, presenting him with even a list of reasons why he shouldn’t hold you back from what you wanted.

With the last line of, ‘if anything were to happen, I know you’d be right there’ as a reminder, he had caved, allowing you this one visit.

Jaebum knew that if this went well, you would request more opportunities and that was what accompanied his nerves as he got his makeup done, the realisation that you were dynamic, able to achieve anything you wanted, regardless of how much he tried to ground you.

Once you had taken flight, there was no stopping you.

“It’s going to be fine,” Jackson assured from the seat beside him and Jaebum half-smiled, still unable to accept those words. He had chanted them since waking up this morning, and still, they held no true belief in his mind. He knew he needed it to be fine, a perfect execution with your safety paramount. Sure, onsite accidents had decreased since new regulations came into place after your loss of sight. His company held stringent checks on all places their artists performed now, and Jaebum had been relieved that the concert hall passed all safety checks the day before.

His nerves didn’t dispel, no matter how many reassuring hugs Mark gave him, or firm squeezes of his shoulder that came from Jinyoung. And when you stepped into the bustling environment with the help of his manager, Jaebum’s movement faltered, his eyes holding onto your approach and checking everything that surrounded you as fast as his brain could process.

Why had he agreed to this?

“Noona!” Yugyeom cried as he leapt off the stage towards you, and you grinned, hugging everyone who came your way before slipping into Jaebum’s arms.

You tensed only for a moment, your head snapping up to his, shooting him a reproachful look. “Are you seriously this worried about me?”

“He’s been driving us insane all morning with how anxious he is,” BamBam announced, and Jaebum glared in his younger friend’s direction.

Youngjae chuckled. “I’m convinced you are the most important person in his world after today.”

“Is that right?” you murmured, unable to hide your elation. Jaebum flushed with colour, which you managed to pick up on, allowing him the chance to bury into you. As everyone else moved off, back to their positions in the rehearsal, you gently rubbed circles on his back, soothing his wired body.

Jaebum was exhausted, and he had not even performed yet.

“Relax for me, hm?”

“Easy for you to say,” he retorted, stepping back just enough to look down at you. Now that you were here, Jaebum was conflicted. He felt your effect relaxing some of his physical reaction but his mind was still concerned for your protection.

“If you’re not relaxed then how can I enjoy your performance? You forget how easily I can hear when you’re out of tune or offbeat now. I’ll only be disappointed in myself if I’m the cause to all your fans having a sub-par performance from you.”

He gaped at you. “Y/N, are you playing the guilt trip on me now?”

“No, of course not,” you responded sweetly, a giggle soon escaping you. You patted his arm and then ushered him off. “I’ll be right here, listening on and expecting a good rehearsal from you.”

With a final grumble and farewell, Jaebum headed back up onto the stage, looking out to where you had taken a seat with some of the other staff. You were already animatedly conversing something with his stylist and Jaebum smiled, it was just like you to find a place in any setting these days.

Rehearsals continued for the majority of the afternoon and by the time the last song ended, Jaebum was in a different element. He was no longer fretting about your appearance on set; instead, it had propelled him to put on a better show. The reactions you gave were genuine. He watched all your emotions that you openly showed for each of their songs, laughing with the playful moments in the segments and then rendered speechless with the powerful way he and the six other members performed. Even if it was a dry rehearsal, you were impressed and Jaebum was feeling accomplished because of it.

He knew that taking you on tour now would be something he would no longer fear. Even if something were to occur, you could both face it together.

It was how you had come thus far as a couple, after all.

He didn’t allow himself to focus too much on you when the show actually began. Sure, he would look towards your seat next to where the members’ family sat now and then, grinning when he noticed how bright you looked and the way you fondly held onto his mother’s hand throughout. Jaebum focused on putting his all into his performances, not just for you, or the fans, but for himself as well.

He hadn’t felt this at home on stage since your accident. It was as if having you present could allow him to finally reach for his passion and share it around the arena all night long.

He had been exhausted earlier in the day, but after stepping off stage, he was full of energy.

It was you who was wiped out from the experience.

“I didn’t expect it to take that much out of me,” you admitted as you departed ways from the small gathering after the concert, leaning into his side as he slipped into the driver’s seat of his car. Jaebum glanced at you, leaning in to kiss your head softly. You sighed, your hand moving over his waist and holding him tightly. “It was a success.”

“You told me not to worry,” he reminded you and you sighed, not lifting your head up to face him.

“I’m glad you stopped and allowed me to in your stead.”

He grinned; he had noticed now and then you would slowly look around during the rehearsal, jumping when someone would start banging on something in the stage setup. It would be just like you to take on the universe and ensure him to leave it all to you. He nudged you lightly, starting up the ignition. “Next time, don’t try to take on so much.”

“I’m exhausted mostly because of how many emotions I faced due to your music, not because of that,” you stated, pulling away from your position against him, avoiding the vibration of his chuckles.

Yet you held his hand all the way to your home.

When the car came to stop in the parking lot, neither of you moved to get out of the car immediately, savouring your time together. Jaebum knew your mother would want to have you home tonight. Her concern over you would not always be at ease, even if you were proving to be a capable young woman despite your life changing almost two years ago. It was a mother’s right to worry for her child and in your case, she always would. Allowing you to come out to the concert had been a big thing for her, especially doing so without chaperoning. It was up to him to deliver you back tonight, safe and sound.

That much he would do.

He just didn’t want to say goodbye just yet.

And neither did you.

“What if I went up there, said hello and then came back?”

Jaebum chuckled, shaking his head. “I’ve been with you for most of the day; let your mother have your final hours before bed.”

“If I make an hour, I’m so tired.”

“See, so it’s better you just go home and unwind with her before sleeping. I can come around for breakfast tomorrow,” Jaebum suggested and you let out a small huff of air. He knew that you had conceded, even if you weren’t openly happy about it.

“My bed has space for you,” you attempted and Jaebum leaned over to draw you into his arms, uncaring of the gearbox between you both. “Come stay with me. Mum won’t mind.”

“Not tonight.”

“Why?”

Staring at you, he brushed the hair away from your face tenderly. He couldn’t wait for the time when you would fall asleep and wake up in his arms every day. You stayed over at his whenever he was home, sometimes going an entire week before you trudged back home, albeit with a delighted greeting for your mother when you saw her. You really did love the woman, even if you protested leaving his company every time. It was why he made a point of taking you home even when he didn’t want to let you go.

Jaebum knew your mother had been hinting at putting a ring on your finger lately, her not so subtle answer to allowing him what he craved. Only when you were truly bound to him would she allow you to leave the nest he had first found you within. Back then, your wings were unable to fly to his house, and she had nurtured you more than he could have.

It meant a lot to him that your mother was allowing him the ability to be that strength at your side now.

That’s why he made sure you spent as much time alone with your mother presently. When you moved in with him, he might not be as willing to let you stay away from him.

“You know you have a really bad habit of overthinking and not giving me an answer, Im Jaebum.”

He snapped out of his thoughts with a smile, which you reached out to touch with your thumb. He pursed his lips into you, kissing your hand softly and then undid your seatbelt. “Come on, let me take you home.”

You obliged despite his lack of an answer, swinging your linked arms softly with every step you made together. Soon you were standing outside your apartment and turned to face him, attempting to shoot him a luring smile. He laughed. “I’m not coming in.”

“No? Your loss then,” you tempted and he stepped up to you, hugging you warmly and kissing your forehead. “I’m going to go to bed and dream of someone other than you.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes,” you informed, though you were smiling too much for it to be effective. “Since you don’t want to be at my side tonight, I’ll choose someone else.”

“Suit yourself, Nora will be all too happy to take your spot anyway.”

You huffed again and he laughed. For a moment you were both jovial and then his smile faded, his eyes searching yours.

Even without sight, they were beautiful. The colours, the depth, he had fallen in love with them. In the hallway lighting, he spotted your faint scarring, the lines he had traced upon your face many times over. He had come to love them too.

All of you.

Yet the question remained on the tip of his tongue and he rocked back on his heels, unsure if he should ask it. You placed a hand on his cheek, rubbing it gently. “What is it?”

“Do you ever miss it?”

“Miss what?”

“Seeing the world,” he admitted, watching as you blinked slowly.

And then you shook your head. “No. I don’t any more.”

“Really? Wouldn’t you love to see what’s around you? View the things you haven’t in so long? What about the people you hold dearly in your life now, do you crave to see them at least once more?” Jaebum wondered, holding you back in his arms again. He was confused; he had thought there would be a small part of you that would long for vision of some sort. Some times, on your better days, you could make out vague shapes for moments at a time. That was the extent of your recovery. The doctors had ruled you wouldn’t perform some sort of miracle and gain your sight back.

Smiling again, your hand still on his face shifted, feeling along the strength of his jaw and up his cheekbone. Your fingers lightly dusted over his eyelids that, with instinct, he shut upon your touch there. When you stopped, he reopened his eyes, gazing at you and anticipating your answer.

“I already see enough of the world through you. Why would I crave anything more?”

Leaning into kiss you, Jaebum allowed the tears to fall from his eyes. He never knew what to expect with you sometimes.

But he would take care of his sight as best as he could.

Since he knew you would look through his eyes forever.

The End.

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labyrinth-runner · 4 years

Text

Green or Blue

The Greatest Thing Chapter 8

Moulin Rouge Fanfic

Christian x OC

Words: 3k

Weeks turned to months and Christian felt himself becoming more and more familiar with Paris. When he first arrived, he would dance awkwardly to the rhythm of the night, and now his movements were fluid and second nature. His time was spent mostly writing or rehearsing, with the play slowly taking over his life. Getting to know Satine more and more, he grew to admire her, falling in love with the contrast that she represented. But, he knew they could never truly belong to each other. She was to be the Duke's, and he... well, he was beginning to wonder if his heart was truly his to give or if it still belonged to another. He thought of Estelle in fleeting moments, finding that the more he wallowed, the more disillusioned with this life he would become. Crumpled up papers littered his floor, the remnants of letters he destroyed before sending. None of them would be enough to undo the hurt he had undoubtedly caused her. He just hoped that she was happy wherever she was, and that she was being treated like the wonderful creature she was.

Words seemed to fail him every now and then as of late. He was stuck, unable to get past this one part in his draft where the penniless sitar player won over the courtesan. After spending hours with Satine trying to come up with a dialogue that felt natural, he'd gone home frustrated. He ran his hand through his hair as he fell back on his bed. The fact that the scene was later in the play comforted him, since he would have time to finish it, but he was still frustrated. He used to be able to wax on about love for hours, but lately he just found himself going through the motions. He could write treatises on freedom, beauty, and truth... but love? He was struggling. It vexed him even more that he couldn't write on the one topic he valued the most. His eyes fell over on the forgotten manuscript he had started when he first arrived in Paris. It had been left untouched for weeks, sitting there on the table and mocking him. His greatest love story, a story about falling in love while falling out of society, didn't have an ending. In truth, he didn't know how to end it, and thinking about how to end it was like a slap in the face. He could end it with the lovers growing apart, like some of the disillusioned literature of the time, but he wanted to give it a happy ending, but he also wanted that ending to be truthful. He sighed loudly. He could have a happy ending. Satine had offered him that happiness, and he could always go back to London if he was desperate enough. However, would he really be happy in either of those places? With Satine, he would never fully have her be his, and as much as he'd like to think he could handle that, deep down he knew it would tear him apart. In London, he'd grow bitter with society. Christian groaned.

"Is your play not going well?" a voice asked through the hole in his ceiling.

Christian looked up to find his short Parisian artist peering down at him.

"Toulouse, do you ever wonder if you made the right choice?" Christian asked.

Toulouse grimaced. "I feel like it's too early to be discussing what ifs. I think that if you've made a choice, then something told you it was the right thing to do in that moment."

Christian nodded. "And if you end up feeling miserable about it later?"

"Then you go upstairs to your neighbor's apartment and let him cheer you up," Toulouse grinned.

Christian smirked and shook his head. "I suppose I could use a distraction."

"Très bien," Toulouse winked before disappearing back into his apartment.

Christian went up the stairs and into the space, finding Toulouse staring intently at a canvas as he compared it to the woman in front of him.

"Christian, have you ever met Mademoiselle Avril?" Toulouse asked, gesturing to the woman.

"No, I don't believe I've had the pleasure. Although, I have seen you dance, Mademoiselle. You are quite good," he smiled.

"Call me Jane," she chuckled. "And, merci, Monsieur. They don't call me La Mélinite for nothing."

"Am I interrupting?" Christian asked.

"Not at all," Toulouse replied. "Besides, perhaps Jane can help with whatever is making you sigh so loud."

"I doubt that," Christian said with a sad smile.

"Try me," Jane challenged.

"Well, if you haven't noticed, I'm not from here. I'm originally from London. I left a few months ago after being disowned by my father for wanting to join the Bohemian movement and be a writer," Christian told her.

"You're the one writing the play they're putting on at the Moulin, aren't you? It seems like you've achieved your goal," she replied.

"Yes and no," Christian sighed. "You see, I want to write about love, but I can't."

"Have you experienced love?" Jane asked.

"That's what I asked when he first got here!" Toulouse chuckled.

"I have," Christian said adamantly.

"Did she not love you back?" Jane followed up.

"I... I don't know," Christian admitted.

"You didn't ask her?" Jane asked incredulously.

"Well, I never really told her that I loved her either," Christian replied.

"Toulouse, you might have warned me that your friend is an idiot," Jane teased.

"He's friends with me, Jane, I thought it was implied," Toulouse winked.

Jane shook her head. "Men. Scoundrels of the Earth."

"Not intentionally," Christian reassured her.

"Oh, I know, some of you are not intentionally," she winked. "That doesn't change the fact that you are, though. However, if you never knew for certain that it was love, then perhaps that's why you can't write it. Deep down, you feel like a fraud. Or, maybe you just can't stand giving happiness to your characters when you denied it for yourself."

"That's silly," Christian replied.

"Hey, I'm not Freud, I'm just a woman who is trying to help you," she shrugged. "Have you spoken to her since you left?"

"No," Christian admitted.

"Thought about her?" Toulouse asked.

"Yes," Christian sighed. "When life gets quiet, she creeps in. Sometimes I'll see or do something and I'll think about how she might have enjoyed that. Sometimes I feel guilty when I'm with Satine, but then I have to remember that she could be with someone else. I'll write things and I'll realize they're conversations that she and I have had."

"You miss her," Jane commented sadly.

"I do."

"Do you still love her?" Toulouse asked as he swapped out to a new canvas.

"I... I don't know. I love what I remember, but she could be different now. I know I'm different now. She could hate me for leaving. She could have just been humoring me when I was there, and now she could be with someone who's better for her," Christian replied.

"Describe her," Toulouse smirked.

"What do you want to know?" Christian asked, sitting down on a backwards chair, resting his chin on the back.

"Everything. What does she look like? What does she think like?" Jane smiled, sitting down next to Toulouse.

"Well, she's my star. Her name is Estelle, but I've called her Ellie since we were kids," Christian smiled wistfully, "She's always been very headstrong, but she wants to do the right thing and sometimes that will outweigh her own wants. Her hair is dark, like roasted chestnuts in the winter. She usually has it pulled back out of her face these days, but back when we were younger, she always left it free so that she could feel the wind in her hair. It was quite funny, because she has these curls, and when she would run, they would bounce like a spring, always hitting her in the face. Perhaps that's why she has it pulled back now, so that it doesn't assault her face. She's pale, but not in a sickly way. It's almost as if the moon glows from within her skin. Her face fits perfectly in your hands when you hold it. Her lips are rosy, and her cheeks sometimes turn the color of a tomato if you say the right thing. She's not easy to ruffle these days, I think that comes mostly from having to grow up a little too soon after her mother died. However, when we were children she was quite easy to fluster," he grinned.

"So, she's a childhood friend of yours?" Jane asked.

"Yes, but we were out of touch for years. We only recently reconnected during the London social season," Christian explained.

"Is that when you fell in love with her?" Toulouse asked.

"I think a part of me has always admired her, but it didn't deepen until now. Prior to the season, the last time I had seen her, she seemed so small," he explained, brow furrowing. "Her mother had just started to become ill. Her mother would have headaches now and then, but they were starting to get more and more frequent and strong enough to keep her in bed. I suppose that was the beginning of the decline for her mother. She died a year and a half later."

A sad smile settled on his face as he remembered when she told him about it.

He'd been looking for her so that they could go on another adventure into the nature behind their estates, but she wasn't home. He checked around their usual hiding spots until he spotted her sitting on the bank of the river, holding her knees to her chest. As he got closer, he could hear her sniffling.

"Ellie?" he asked softly. "Are you alright?"

Estelle jumped and quickly rubbed her eyes. "I'm fine."

Christian frowned, settling down next to her. "You're crying."

"No, I'm not," she sniffed.

"Ellie, what's wrong? You know you can tell me anything," he said in concern, wrapping his arm around her.

"It's my mother," she sighed. "Her headaches are getting worse. The doctor doesn't know why she keeps getting them. Dad said she has good days and bad days, but she's not... she's not the same even on those good days."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"She's tired easily. She used to love music, but now she's irritable at loud noises," Ellie explained. She turned to look at him with wide eyes. "Christian, I'm scared. I don't know what's happening to my mother."

"I'm sure the doctor will be able to help her," Christian reassured her, but he knew that wasn't always the case. "I'm here for you, Ellie. No matter what. I promise."

Estelle nodded, leaning her head on his shoulder. "You're a good friend, Christian."

"And her eyes?" Toulouse asked.

"Hmm?" Christian asked, coming out of it.

"You didn't describe her eyes," Toulouse repeated.

"Well her eyes are..." he trailed off. He tried to picture her, but for some reason he couldn't see her eye color in his mind's eye. "They're... they're either green or they're blue."

"You can't remember?"

"I think I've forgotten," Christian said softly. "But, they are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen. She's got a quiet strength in them. A resolve. I just hope that resolve never turns into resignation."

Toulouse smiled and moved his hands across the canvas.

"What was it like seeing her again?" Jane asked, noticing that Christian's demeanor had become solemn.

Christian perked up at the question. "It was... well... I had a few feelings in that moment. First of all, I saw her before she had first seen me," he chuckled. "I had introduced myself to this one woman who turned out to be Ellie's best friend. A dumb stroke of luck on my part. I only introduced myself to Ms. Renton because the bow on her dress had come untied and I didn't want her to trip. Then, we started talking, and I looked over her shoulder and saw my Ellie with the Queen. Part of me felt like returning home after being on a long trip away, wondering how things would have changed while I was gone. Another part of me was feeling a rush of nerves, because I wasn't sure that she'd recognize me, and if she didn't, then would she remember me? Then, the last part of me felt like I was being visited by some celestial creature. Watching her walk across the ballroom, I saw the spark in her eyes and I knew she remembered me."

"What was she wearing?" Toulouse asked.

"A green dress, embroidered with flowers. It was fitting, really," he said with an amused smirk.

"How so?" Jane asked curiously.

"You see, later that night we discussed how women were like flowers," Christian smiled dreamily at the memory. "She always did have a way with words and metaphors."

"Even more so than you?" Toulouse asked.

"We had the same tutor for a while growing up," Christian explained. "She always did get better marks than I did in English. She was especially fond of poetry."

"Have you ever written her a poem?"

"No. I haven't. I don't think I could capture all those feelings into one poem. It would take a novel to tell her how I felt," he sighed.

Toulouse finished what he was painting and leaned back. "Then, write her a novel, Christian."

"I've tried. I've gotten thoroughly stuck with the ending," he explained.

"Write the truth," Toulouse replied.

"That's the problem, I've run out of truth to write," Christian groaned.

"Then your story isn't over, either," Toulouse winked.

"She's in London," Christian sighed, "I'm here. That's as over as it could get."

Toulouse shook his head and got off his stool. He took his painting and turned it to show Christian. It was a portrait of Estelle based off the descriptions that Christian had been able to provide. "Physically, she may be in London, mon ami, but we both know the place she truly resides is right here," he said, tapping Christian's chest.

"Toulouse," Christian said softly, taking the painting from him. His eyes scanned over the picture. Toulouse had taken a gamble and painted blue eyes.

"Blue. They definitely are blue," Christian murmured, seeing her almost as if she were actually there. He turned to his friend and frowned, "I don't have anything to pay you with."

"Consider it a thank you for your friendship," Toulouse waved him off. "Most people would have fixed the hole by now. But, I appreciate you not forcing me to. It leaves more funds for art supplies."

Christian grinned and shook his head. "I'll go hang it up."

"Perhaps you should write home while you're at it?" Jane asked, getting up to leave. "I have to get back to the Moulin, but I'll see you two later."

Christian walked out with her and returned to his own apartment. Surveying the walls, he finally found a place to put it, sitting down on his couch to admire it. Perhaps Toulouse was right. Perhaps their story wasn't over yet. One could only hope. His gaze fell over to his typewriter and he sighed. Pulling out a piece of paper, he quickly typed up a letter to William. Then, he put it in an envelope and dropped it in the mail on his way to the Moulin Rouge for rehearsal.

As he walked into the space, Satine sidled up to him. "You seem different tonight."

"I've had a lot on my mind," he smiled.

"I see. Well, if you want, I can help clear your mind and make it go blank for a bit," she winked.

He blushed, coughing slightly to recover. "T-that's... I-I mean..."

"Alright, people, I want you all to get to work, this is my money you're wasting," The Duke huffed as he strode into the building, dropping his coat and hat into Christian's arms.

"My dear," the Duke smiled at Satine, offering her his arm.

Satine plastered her smile on and took it, but she turned to Christian and pointedly told him, "Think about it."

The Duke led her away and Christian let out a shaky breath. Rehearsal started and he went to work on the script. However, his mind went places, thinking about what Satine had said, but the Satine in his head quickly morphed into Estelle. He blushed even darker, a bit ashamed of thinking about her like that. Christian turned his attention back to rehearsal, forgetting about the script and getting lost in his previous words being spoken aloud. The first few scenes were good, and they were working on blocking it all in between dance numbers. Slowly though, people started to trickle away to get ready for that night's entertainment until it was only Christian left in the space. His mind replayed the penniless sitar player meeting the courtesan. He wondered what it might be like to meet Ellie again for the first time since becoming his own penniless self. Would she reject him like the courtesan does initially, or would she be happy to see him? All he knew was that should the world deign to put them together again, he would be over the moon.

#The Greatest Thing #Christian x OC #chapter 8 #Moulin Rouge #christian moulin rouge

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wastetimeandtype · 4 years

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SO another AU I came up with was the ‘Mako and Bolin Zaofu AU’ which was really weird and never fully thought through so it is DEAD but you know people might find it interesting.

So pre-book 1 Suyin is in Republic City for some conference about city design or something with Baatar Sr and like whoop she bumps into 10 year old Bolin who tries to rob her and gives her a sob story about his brother being really sick. She gives him twenty and tells him to scram. Later she bumps into him again (what a coincidence) and like he’s upset because his brother is sick and she thinks it might not be a lie. She pays for Mako to see a doctor. Later she starts feeling sorry for them so she decides to bring them to Zaofu. Baatar is like ‘you can’t save every child’ but Suyin is like ‘I’m doing a good thing shut up’. Bolin is like super happy to but Mako is more cautious about this random lady wanting to help them but she wins him round and gives him 200 hundred yuans to buy tickets back to Republic CIty if he hates it.

So they live in Zaofu where they have school and shit and grow up happy and well. They live in like a children’s home with Kuvira (I wrote this before the comics) but meet with the Beifong family fairly regularly. Mako and Bolin become fairly close with them and get into all sorts of shenanigans with the twins and Opal. Bolin loves Zaofu wholeheartedly. Mako feels a little more at odds with Zaofu and feels useless/alienated in this metalbending City

Bolin struggles with school and eventually metalbends, but badly. His career is in the theatre. Bolin becomes close with Opal but he’s like oblivious to her obvious feelings. There’s a prom and Bolin almost goes with someone else and Opal is upset but tries not to show it and Mako tells Bolin he is a dumb boy. Bolin realises his mistake and goes with Opal and they start to date and they have a very steady relationship.

Mako excels at school unlike Bolin, and learns lightning bending. He has a short relationship with a girl in school which ends when he’s accused of being insensitive. He doesn’t become a police officer because Zaofu has a low crime rate and it is a boring job so he becomes some sort of like, logistics officer in the security forces, i.e. he helps move people around. He meets a soldier named Seung who is totally into him and Mako is like ‘what? but okay i guess’ and they start to date and have a terrible on again off again relationship. Mako takes the relationship seriously but struggles to open up; Seung opens up a lot but when Mako doesn’t, Seung doesn’t take the relationship that seriously and acts flippant/eyes wander etc, they break up but then usually make up some months later. Rinse and repeat like four times.

Bolin develops a fairly obvious hatred for Seung that he is shocked that people know about. He really wishes Mako would do better, and Bolin has had a pretty steady relationship for a couple of years now so he’s the ‘wise’ one and just doesn’t get this relationship at all if it makes Mako unhappy. Basically Mako still has relationship problems but it’s Bi now so it’s better.

Meanwhile sometimes they go ‘wow heard of those equalists in Republic City? Glad we’re not there’ or ‘heard the southern watering just got invaded!’. Korra and Asami meet at the party in book 1 and become friends without any jealously (like Korra broke into the probending arena and was immediately kicked out). But the plot of TLOK happens generally the same without Mako and Bolin. But the major events of book 1 and 2 happen. Opal then develops airbending and the air nation and Korra and Asami come round to meet them. Bolin tries to pair Mako with one of them during a dinner he has with them and Opal as well as he isn’t dating Seung at this point. Mako is like ‘wait which one’ and Bolin is like ‘I don’t know’ and this is the stupidest plot point but I wanted to make fun of the love triangle. Opal states bluntly at the end of the ‘date’ that they’re clearly into eachother than and that boys are dumb.

Anyway book 3 happens in some form. Bolin learns lavabending and they help save the airbenders at the end.

Meanwhile Kuvira always got along well with Mako and Bolin but Bolin finds her hard to get along with as an adult and Mako realises she’s kind of racist towards him. But then she decides to leave Zaofu with the troops and stabilise Ba Sing Se. Bolin is enamoured and decides to join but Mako is like ‘but she’s a dick towards firebenders.’ And Bolin is like ‘you must be mistaken Kuvira is great!’ And Mako is like ‘please listen to me’ and Bolin ignores him. They have a massive falling out over it and Bolin leaves. Seung also leaves with Kuvira so that relationship is also dead.

But anyway time skip three years Seung is on the frontlines and learns of the re-education camps and learns that fire and water benders are being sent to them. He manages to meet Bolin and is like “mako was right!” Bolin doesn’t believe Seung af first but comes around when he realises Seung is being serious and has nothing to gain from lying to him (Seung also hated Bolin and thought he was a meddling prick). They try and escape Kuvira captures them and they go to a re-education camp.

Meanwhile Mako has been chilling in Zaofu as normal. Zaofu is eventually invaded. The Beifongs don’t kneel to the Empire and Mako intends to do so as well but Baatar is like ‘hey no I trust you look after the city whilst we’re gone!” But obvs this goes tits up when Mako is taken prisoner for being a firebender by Kuvira’s regime. He’s like ‘where’s Bolin?’ And Kuvira lies and says he’s fighting for he good cause and believes in the Empire wholeheartedly. Mako sort of believes her?

Meanwhile Bolin’s breaks out of prison I guess and tries to get to Zaofu but by this point it’s overrun so he goes to Republic City and gets involved with defeating the colossus.

Meanwhile Mako is in a camp and bumps into Seung again, because of course he does. Mako is pretty much done at this point but they try and plan a break out.

But hooray, the colossus is defeated (idk how if Mako isn’t there to blow it up I never thought through how the tlok plot would really happen without Bolin and Mako tbh) and they’re re-united. Mako is peeved he wasn’t listened to but he does forgive Bolin.

Anyway Mako is sick of Zaofu st this point so Bolin suggest they try and trace their family in Ba Sing Se. They go to Ba Sing Se, and Seung asks if he and Mako can keep in touch, and they agree. The two brothers venture off to reconnect with their past.

And that’s the AU! If you asked me what the actual point of this fanfic is, I wouldn’t know.

#of all of the thigs ive ever come up with this is the most random #bolin #mako #tlok #lok #legend of korra #my relationship drama was well thought out #the actual plot doesnt really exist #I DONT EVEN KNOW #WHAT MOTIVATED ME TO COME UP WITH THIS #MAKE IT GAY #mako of course having a disaster love life in this complete au akdslkas;

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