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lifeofafrogblog · 8 months
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Lately all I can think about is having a girlfriend I can love and spoil
Sometimes I worry that I'll never find a girlfriend because I am a transgender man. I try to tell myself that some girls are pansexual or bisexual and like transgender guys but I still feel a bit hopeless.
Girls are so pretty and I want to have a girlfriend to spoil with snacks and cuddles and hoodies.
I am pansexual myself, but lately I can't stop thinking about fem-presenting people, whether it be trans girls or cis girls, I can't stop thinking about just having a girl to call my girlfriend.
I don't understand these feelings, since I've never felt this way for this long before, sure I had girl crushes a few times but I never wanted a girlfriend so badly before...
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lifeofafrogblog · 8 months
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Sometimes I doubt myself for being trans, then I remember...
Sometimes I question myself, "am I really transgender?" Then I remember cis people don't spend three hours straight watching trans ftm tiktok compilations on YouTube (yes, that did just happen). Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually trans then remember how I force my boobs against the bones of my chest because of how dysphoric I am. Sometimes I question if I'm trans and then watch hours of "coming out as trans" and "what I didn't expect to happen when starting T."
Impostor syndrome is really getting to me lately even though I know I am trans..
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lifeofafrogblog · 1 year
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How many people experience "brain zaps" from antidepressant withdrawals?
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lifeofafrogblog · 1 year
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Today would have been her 17th birthday, but we had to say goodbye too soon 🤍
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lifeofafrogblog · 1 year
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About to put my dog down
All I can think is... "Wow, this is really happening?"
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lifeofafrogblog · 1 year
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I have found the thing I hate more than anything.
Being silenced.
You hear it everyday, so much that it's not even looked at what it is anymore. A kid trips and falls, "you're fine, stop crying."
It has leaked so far into my adult life. "Mom, I have trouble walking long distances and often lose my balance. I need to lean against someone when walking somewhere far," and she says "it's probably all in your head," and walks away.
Maybe it is all in my head, but it's still a fucking issue. If my own head makes it hard for me to walk, doesn't that mean something is wrong?
I can't talk to my parents about anything serious that would take more than two sentences to explain, because they don't listen.
"Mom, lately I feel really sad. I've been thinking a lot about-"
"Do I need to take you to the ER? Do you need to be hospitalized again?"
They never hear me out. Self proclaimed "caring parents" that don't do much of the caring part.
I don't have anyone to talk to anymore. I guess I'm just using this blog to rant now. My insurance doesn't cover therapy, my parents don't listen. I'm left alone surrounded with bad thoughts.
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lifeofafrogblog · 1 year
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I strongly believe that growing up with little money /can/ make you addicted to earning/saving money
I'm an autistic adult. I grew up with my parents constantly telling me "maybe next time" when finding a toy I liked, or telling me to pick something cheap to have for dinner. Even now, we are barely scraping by.
I found that once I was able to start selling some canvas paintings for money, I would get a boost of happiness whenever receiving it. Not in a greedy way, and I wouldn't overprice my stuff, it just made me feel so good to have money. I got so used to /wishing/ for things and I was finally able to buy some things, now it wasn't much but it was something.
I'm not blaming my parents for not having money to carelessly spend because it isn't their fault, and inflation is really kicking our butts. I was really immature with money when I first started earning it because I finally felt freedom to order things online and it felt so good. But now, I don't really have anyone to sell my canvas paintings to, and I can't get a job at the moment, so that pinch of freedom is gone again. That happiness I'd get when someone wanted something I made, it's gone again. I'm desperately trying to earn money for my sick dog but at this point nothing is working
I'm saving up every coin I get to give to my dog because she doesn't deserve to be miserable
But it's so hard to get money these days especially when your extended family distances themselves from you when figuring out you're mentally disabled or mentally ill or whatever
Anygays, just another daily rant
Also wondering if anyone feels the same
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lifeofafrogblog · 1 year
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The phrase "life isn't fair" isn't an excuse to treat people like dog shit
You're right, life isn't fair. Some people have money and some are poor, some get what they want and some can't afford to eat. That is true. But why would you use this as an excuse to favor someone over the other? Why would you use this as an excuse to commit unjust towards someone?
Why would you be so mean to someone over the preface that "life just isn't fair," because the unfair parts of life are out of our control but the way we treat people are sure as hell in our power.
Stop treating people like shit just because life isn't fair.
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lifeofafrogblog · 1 year
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Is texting and talking the same thing?
Autistic person here. Why do I feel like texting is so much easier to explain my feelings than speaking is? I can type paragraphs and paragraphs about how I feel but when it comes to speaking how I feel I start to panic and cry and can't seem to get any words out. My throat swells and my eyes tear up and suddenly I can't breathe anymore so instead of speaking in choked out words I decide to shut up and say I'm fine.
Why do I do this?
I'm told that texting and talking are the same thing. Both are forms of communication. Then why is talking so hard?
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lifeofafrogblog · 1 year
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Do you ever go to hang out with someone and spend all day waiting for them to actually notice / spend time with you? Y'all ever go to someones house to hang out and they just get on their video games w their friends for hours at a time? Do you ever nap for hours in someone else's house because you don't have a ride home until later and you don't have anything else to do but sleep??
Maybe thats just me 🤷🏼‍♀️
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lifeofafrogblog · 1 year
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Sometimes I forget that I exist.
Someone recently added me to their close friends list on Instagram. That's a normal thing except I thought about it more. They purposely looked through the accounts and found mine and thought about me as a person and decided to add me to it.
They thought about me specifically. A person, a completely different human being, thought about me, and added me to their close friends list.
Idk, I just realized yet again that I exist in a world with other people existing in a world.
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lifeofafrogblog · 1 year
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I'm thinking of getting finger splints, because apparently my fingers are hypermobile. [it is painful.]
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lifeofafrogblog · 1 year
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Does anyone ever feel content with their life and their situations? Is there ever a time where you don't want to move someplace else or get a new job or change your ways? Does anyone ever just feel generally happy with their life?
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lifeofafrogblog · 1 year
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I drew this :3
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lifeofafrogblog · 1 year
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When you're with your boyfriend and feel bored for hours and dunno what to do, and you finally get cuddled and warm with him... but his game friends steal him from you
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lifeofafrogblog · 1 year
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Hanging out at my boyfriends house today, I get to pet all of his cats!
Does anyone else get an odd attachment with other peoples animals?
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lifeofafrogblog · 1 year
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Intro I guess?
I didn't really think about introducing myself lol but saw other people do it so here it is... I'm staying anon though so it'll be a bit different.
Who am I?
I'm an autistic adult, soon to be graduating high school. My pronouns are he/they/she. I'm bisexual 💜💕💙
What do I do?
I'm an artist and currently don't make any money from it which sucks but I'm working on making a profile for myself in the realm of art
Interests?
I love frogs, turtles, capybaras, and all animals and most bugs but capybaras are my favorite animal. Like I said, I like to paint and draw. I also read and write occasionally. And a social media addict :}
So yeah, short introduction. I might make a new one later just got bored and felt like it lol
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