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jsuhosh94127 · 13 days

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Heat | 05-12-24

Today was a bit drastic. It really pushed some edge on me. Morning was a bit of all the things I don't like. It was too hard to explain and my mind was on all places as of the moment. I wish I'd be able to gather my thoughts and write it in a more cohesive way so I can express. There are times that life is fucking tiring and there's nothing I can do about it; not even an inch. All I can do is hope and wait and pray and look up and just wait and just cry and just be myself. I am always here, please hear.

I'm too tired. I just keep on going like a hamster on a wheel or a wave that's just patiently waiting for another toss in the ocean. Oh, God. Please hear all my pleas and prayers. I want freedom and peace. Away from all these chaos and disorganized situation. I want to live with my loved ones in peace, in a farm? in the province? Just far away from all these city noise and lights. I would like to live somewhere that is cold in the morning and dewy in the afternoon. I want to feel the breeze of the forest and hear the coos of the bird on each sunset. Oh, Lord, let me live a life with my loved ones on a peaceful place, where there is nothing I think but what to cook in the night. Give me a chance to keep it all together until I am already where I should be. Let me write books, and make books. In all of these words, please hear my heart and find the most fitting solution to the things I can't completely comprehend and put in words. Give me the opportunity and help me make the most of it.

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jsuhosh94127 · 13 days

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⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆

Friendships!

#love #pink black #black and pink #friends #friendships #pink aesthetic #black tumblr #black aesthetic #life #life beautiful #grungy aesthetic #grunge #love life #beautiful 2014 #2024 #tumbr girl #pink blog #friendship #friendshit forever

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jsuhosh94127 · 19 days

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⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა MARK LEE૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა

#mark lee #lee minhyung #mark #mark my words #nct #nct 127 #nct dream #nct u #nct layouts #life #life beautiful #boyfriend #boyfriend material #au #tumblr authors

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jsuhosh94127 · 20 days

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︵ ‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿

<3 picnics with you <3

#love #life #life beautiful #pinkcore #pinkblr #pink aesthetic #light pink #pink core #pastel #cottagecore #pink cottagecore #cottage aesthetic #cozy cottage

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jsuhosh94127 · 24 days

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Johnny Suh

#life beautiful #life #nct johnny #nct 127 #suh johnny #johnny seo #johnny suh #johnny #nct layouts #nct #pink #soft pink #pinkcore #pink blog #pink aesthetic #life is beautiful #beauty #kpop moodboard #pinkblr

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jsuhosh94127 · 25 days

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magnolia - keshi

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jsuhosh94127 · 30 days

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MAY

Affirmation this May is that, everything will be okay and He will do the rest. All of your aspirations and the things you worked hard for will come true to life. It may not be what you expect. But always remember that everything works out for the best. We can do this!

#love #spilled words #english #poems #life #life beautiful #pink #pink aesthetic #pinkcore #soft pink #pink blog #heart shaped #life is beautiful #life is good #affirmations #affirm and persist #affirmdaily

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jsuhosh94127 · 1 month

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2024

#new life #pink aesthetic #pink #pinkcore #poetry self love you when #english #love #poetry #spilled words #life beautiful #pink blog

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jsuhosh94127 · 3 months

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He is

Did ever Jesus, as a human, think like this; the sonder, the life of humans merely short and long, chasing lives and time.

Have ever think, even if He is, a God, of not knowing and just being like us?

#spilled words #poetry #love #english #poems and quotes #life #life beautiful #poems #jesus christ #jesus #faith #hopecore #sonder #tumblr blog #writers on tumblr

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jsuhosh94127 · 4 months

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ageless | 01-12-24

i could have been still 19 today, but what happened was meant to break me and i am 24 now.

- Anne E.

#spilled words #poetry #love #poemsforsell #poetry self love you when #poems #english #poems and quotes #life #life beautiful #real life #learning

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jsuhosh94127 · 5 months

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First Born | 01-05-23 7:39PM

we're both first born that's why we never worked out, maybe because you feel my mother's rage and i see your dad's wrath. then we fall into pieces blaming the stars, for the cracks each claw that clinged on us.

-Anne E.

#spilled words #poetry self love you when #poetry #poemsforsell #english #poems and quotes #life #poems #love #life beautiful #first born #spilled emotions #emotions

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jsuhosh94127 · 5 months

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HOPE | 01-04-24 10:32PM

and i know God is here, within the blood that runs from the slits on my wrist--from the tears that stained my cheeks; with hopes that lasts, i hope my eyes will meet a lighter side under heavens.

- Anne E.

#spilled words #poetry self love you when #love #poetry #poemsforsell #poems #english #life #poems and quotes #life beautiful #hopecore #hopefully #hope #healing

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jsuhosh94127 · 5 months

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Hands | 01-04-24 9:43PM

for love we put our hands together hoping for something tangible to feel and for ethereal, we seek with the hands that knows nothing.

#spilled words #poetry self love you when #poetry #poemsforsell #love #poems #poems and quotes #life beautiful #life #english #hands #tomorrow x together #quotes

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jsuhosh94127 · 5 months

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2023 | 12-29-23 5:16 PM

hi, blog!

ooooh, year 2023 is about to end! so, as a little recap, i'll be posting and jotting some of the highlights, experiences, and learnings i've gathered this year. so, this might take really long to capture everything

ps. please bear with me while we go through together this journey-and i'm already asking for some understanding that there will be grammatical errors as i just typed this on the fleet of the moment. hahaha (while listening to paramore! what a throwback ><)

during new year, i never have ever thought that this year would bring out so many things. but, i prayed and really put my faith and heart to wish and look forward that this year would bring all the unexpected, great, and wonderful blessings. and, well, truly! all good and great things happened. as a summary:

i graduated magna cum laude, like boi!!! that's one of the unexpected things i received. i have these inferiority issues that keeps me from taking pride of what i achieve. whenever i would look at my grades on the portal i need to have peptalk myself that i did my best and really put effort on every points i have.

i passed licensure examination for teachers. this one too. i cried the night after the exam. i wasn't able to enroll on any review center because y'know budget and priorities. i submitted papers and the exam fee a day before the last day of submission. i forgot to take my noa from the cashier and took us a week or so to get it. those days, the review days and waiting days are tooooo long. there are times i would cry myself to sleep and go on work like nothing happened. as all i have are the everyday afterwork review and the 3day in house free review by my alma mater, PNU, who called me as i was endorsed by the dean. anyway, i realized that i really did put effort and prayers and having 90.20 average for the exam is really awesome! (thank you get it-keshi and 7rings-ariana grande for reminding me to always get up and get that bag)

i have a decent paying and a work that i finally learn to love. it all started 4 months before our graduation and my schedule is all free so i decided to work immediately. after our finishing school, i immediately prepared my cv and requirements, look online for school vacancies. then, tadda! i am where i am now. funny thing about my employment process is that, there are some applicants before me and the school is still on the screening process. and there is still one person after or before me, i think (?) but after my demo and interview, the school directress asked me if i am readily available to go tomorrow to start my job. ofcourse, i said yes and yippie yup, i love my bffs now. hahahaha. >< even though i can't even have a me time as they always hug and bug me.

buy things that are pink. buy things for myself, buy things i want buy make up, and continue do my hobby. mag-ganda gandahan all day, every way. hahaha

groceries and things for the fam. this one is more of a breadwinner and ate duties, though sometimes i need to sacrifice my wants, it feels fulfilling to give and see my mom's smile. i luv it so much!!!!

not hesitating to buy and have and give things just because i want to.

learn and try new things! i learned how to do eyeliner precisely and perfectly. i was able to eat on different food shops and try new things (with my bf ofc, because if i don't like it he knows what to do! hahahha :P) i also learned how to handle student and people with special needs. i learned that life to each and everyone of us is different, and that's really beautiful.

new friends and reconnected to old friends.

prayers, talking to yourself, and having alone moments. this helped me during the times i am sick. having muscle pains everyday is really irritating but having mindfulness techniques helped me to get by and being open on your condition will greatly make life a little easier.

forgive. freely and wholeheartedly. myself and those people i need to so i can run free from the hurt. idk, but for me forgiving is a must so i can move and see life in a clearer view. but, yeah, i don't forget and i know the place and boundaries and all. i always say it to myself that when i made a mistake "oopsie, i can't undo it, but maybe i can be kinder the next time around." it may sound cheesy and too optimistic, but talking to myself like a 5 year old kid, heals.

listened to new artists. hindi na si keshi at doja cat lang. hahahaha. i learned to go back and listened to the songs when i was moving on, when i was just barely living, and when i am on my lowest. now, i'm listening to them casually reminiscing each moment. acjkkk, life is so nice. some parts of me healed through it.

being grateful. idk, but being grateful to whatever it is, makes me feel better and knowing that if i can handle this, i'll be able to handle much beautiful and greater achievements or things.

basta, marami pa. marami pa akong gustong ilagay sa true lang. i just can't put it here all. should i make a part two? jk. hahaha. but all in all, i want to give praise to God. for making me safe, protected, provided, guided, and sane this year. there's a lot of struggles, left and right. but, knowing that there is someone or an entity that listens to me and where i can speak to anytime makes me feel less alone. (im not lonely, there are many people i love and loves me.) it's just there are thoughts that i think i always keep to myself, and having times where i just look up and blurt out words, makes me feel more connected.

this is taking too long na ata? reader check, press 1. hahaha. until next year again my friends! i pray and hopefully, we may see life in a greater light. i hope we could list more achievements and wonderful things, do greater and kinder things. either be it small or big, may it sound like a leaf on a river or a tree in the forest, every effort to support, be kind, and do for the love of other is the best thing we can do all year round. most importantly, be kind to yourself. always. love it and help it grow. may we become rich in finances, love, life, beauty, and be hearty as always. may 2024, bring the success we all work and put effort for.

i hope than whenever and wherever we are may we grow and bloom and shower everyone around us with love and kindness!

i love you all! <3

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jsuhosh94127 · 6 months

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STEP ONE | 12/08/23 11:56PM

i passed the Licensure Examination for Teachers!!! i still can't comprehend it fully on how i was able to do all of it. all i know is that this journey wouldn't be possible without God.

i remember the days where i would just sit and pray and talk to Him. asking him to give me more strength and wisdom. i didn't attend any review center, i just paid some review groups so i would have access to new modules and review notes for the exam. i made the motivation that i will be one of the topnotchers so i would review more. silly, but it worked on me.

there are many times i doubted myself that if I would ever be on the list. many times i cried, and sometimes, got the most confidence that i may even get to the top. and, finally, yesterday, while playing a game on my phone- the most awaited thing come true to life!

I am now a Licensed Professional Teacher.

sometimes it may seem hard, but you just need a little bit of that and this, it will go a long way. go, find your purpose and what makes you step forward - and more step, you'll be there.

thank you, Lord! for more victorious wins, and a beautiful story!

#spilled words #love #english #life beautiful #life #praise #lord #lpt #successfully #teacher life #motivation #get motivated #life is beautiful #successful #victory

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jsuhosh94127 · 6 months

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Tonight | 11-27-23 9:50 PM

I am the universe, on a bed. Waiting for the morning to experience it again, and life would offer me grains of happiness. In bits, in bags, and in paths.

because in this small hands, I am capable to expand, to nourish, and to bring joy in life.

- Anne E.

#spilled words #poetry self love you when #poetry #poemsforsell #love #poems #life #poems and quotes #life beautiful #english #universe #quotes

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jsuhosh94127 · 6 months

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PENCILS | 11/13/23 8:38 PM

hello blog! we did a lot of things today. actually i came home exhausted and nauseated from tiredness. like, it is not that a hectic sched of a day, but boy!!!! i was just so tired from different chemicals inside the classroom. we need to disinfect the class from time to time so the students wouldn't get sick. as a gist of what happened:

my student keeps on crying on the first period of class.

one of them vomited on my shoulder (they are just 4 year olds, so given that there would be times like this.)

i have to go to the main building just to go to a discussion and the weather is not that good.

it's actually difficult to be a teacher. it needs a lot of courage, ton of patience, and moreeeeee understanding. looking back, if i am talking to my younger self, she would definitely be in shock on why would i choose this profession. there are times that it is fun but more often than not, you're always under pressure of different expectations. from the supervisors, parents, students, and even from yourself.

for my self: you can do it. just enjoy what you doing and like we always do: have fun, give your best and do everything with love and light.

#love #spilled words #english #poemsforsell #life #life beautiful #poems and quotes #poetry #teacher #teacher love #students #school #education #learning #classroom #teacher life #teaching

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