azerishi
demi-aze
what if incorrect quotes are actually correct and they were just cut out of the official movies
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Peter, accidentally burning his toast: Life is nothing but a jail in which I'm forced to conform to society or else I will be doomed to darkness for eternity. There is no such thing as free will, never has been, never will be.
Tony:
Peter:
Tony, concerned: Who— who hurt you?
Peter: You want that in MLA or APA?
#incorrect quotes#incorrect peter parker#incorrect marvel quotes#incorrect tony stark#incorrect irondad quotes#incorrect marvel cinematic universe#incorrect mcu quotes#guess who's back back back#back again-gain-gain
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Peter: Yeah no, he's finna die.
Steve: Wait, who?
Natasha: Why?
Peter: He got grazed by a bullet wound, beaten up with a shovel to the point of unconsciousness, got his bullet wound stepped on that woke him up, coughed up blood, and got a heavy blow to the head causing a severe concussion.
Bucky: ..That's a long list of injuries, punk. Bet you my metal arm whoever 'he' is that he won't get out of that alive without immediate medical attention.
Tony:
Tony: ...Peter, why is your teeth stained red?
Peter: Because it was me, Peter! *passes out*
Avengers, panicking: HOLY FUCK BRUCE COME HERE— SOMEONE CALL DOCTOR CHO—
#incorrect marvel quotes#incorrect peter parker#incorrect marvel cinematic universe#incorrect mcu quotes#incorrect tony stark#irondad and spiderson#iron dad#spider son#incorrect quotes#incorrect irondad quotes#incorrect bucky barnes#incorrect bucky quotes#incorrect steve rogers#incorrect natasha romanoff#incorrect avengers#ignore how i disappeared for months#that never happened#you're imagining things
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Peter: Hey, Mr. Strange, sir?
Stephen: Doctor Strange, Peter. It is not a made-up name.
Peter: Oh okay, Mr. Doctor Strange sir.
Stephen: *sigh* What is it?
Peter: When we put candles on a cake, does it summon some sort of demon that decides based on their mood to grant our wish or do the complete opposite of it?
Stephen: ..I believe the lessons of mystic arts didn't cover this.
#incorrect peter parker#incorrect stephen strange#incorrect marvel quotes#incorrect quotes#incorrect marvel cinematic universe#incorrect mcu quotes#irondad and spiderson#dr strange#incorrect dr strange#spider son#supremefamily#dr dad
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I miss seeing them together
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Peter: Mr. Stark, can I go ride my bike?
Tony: Do whatever, I'm not your dad.
Also Tony, 2.7 seconds later: Wear your gear, Peter, and not in the streets!
#incorrect peter parker#incorrect tony stark#incorrect quotes#incorrect marvel quotes#incorrect marvel cinematic universe#incorrect mcu quotes#irondad and spiderson#iron dad#spider son#incorrect irondad quotes
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Tony: You're so reckless! The third stab wound this week, this week! I told you I'm fine being sent to voicemail as long as you call back after!
Peter: But it's you! It's Tony-freaking-Stark! What if you called me for something important? Like, an Avengers-level mission, or an emergency!
Tony, pinching his nose: Underoos, you do know that I can just let FRIDAY automatically patch through if that was the case, right? Please just stop answering my calls mid-fight and end up bleeding on the streets! I have heart problems, kiddo.
#incorrect peter parker#incorrect tony stark#incorrect quotes#incorrect marvel quotes#incorrect marvel cinematic universe#incorrect mcu quotes#irondad and spiderson#spider son#iron dad#incorrect irondad quotes
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Peter: Mr. Stark, look! I found this really cool cat, but they looked so sad and so I kinda took them with me so they can eat and now I think I've gotten attached and I really want to keep it.
Tony, on the verge of an aneursym: Peter–Peter, that's a fucking panther.
#incorrect peter parker#incorrect tony stark#incorrect marvel quotes#incorrect quotes#incorrect marvel cinematic universe#incorrect mcu quotes#irondad and spiderson#iron dad#spider son#incorrect irondad quotes
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Peter: I walk around like everything’s fine..
Scott, sympathizing: Is it not? If it isn't, then that's alright, you don't owe anyone anything to pretend that you're okay when you ar—
Peter, tearing up: But deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
Scott:
Scott, muttering: Why did I agree to this..
#incorrect peter parker#incorrect scott lang#incorrect quotes#incorrect marvel cinematic universe#incorrect mcu quotes#incorrect marvel quotes#spider son#incorrect spider man#incorrect ant man#incorrect tony stark#irondad and spiderson
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Technoblade never dies, he will always remain in our hearts. Rest in Peace with King T'Challa, our blood god.
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Tony trying to help Morgan create a poem for homework while sleep-deprived: A day without sunshine is like, you know..
Peter, equally as sleep-deprived: Night.
#incorrect peter parker#incorrect tony stark#incorrect quotes#incorrect marvel quotes#incorrect marvel cinematic universe#incorrect morgan stark#incorrect mcu quotes#irondad and spiderson#iron dad#spider son#july 1st
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Tony coming back to the lab on fire near a corner, DUM-E spreading the fire extinguisher foam everywhere but the place burning, and glitter covering every inch of the worktables and inventions:
Peter: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
#incorrect peter parker#incorrect tony stark#incorrect quotes#incorrect marvel quotes#incorrect marvel cinematic universe#incorrect mcu quotes#irondad and spiderson#iron dad#spider son
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Steve: Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
Peter, nodding sagely: So, that way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
Tony, tearing up: That's my boy.
#incorrect peter parker#incorrect tony stark#incorrect steve rogers#incorrect quotes#incorrect marvel quotes#incorrect marvel cinematic universe#incorrect mcu quotes#irondad and spiderson#iron dad#spider son#incorrect irondad quotes#incorrect iron man#incorrect captain america#incorrect spider man#incorrect spiderson
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Peter: What if the actual reason why our clothes are heavier when we get out of the bodies of water like oceans, is because we carry the weight of the souls of the corpses that drowned in there? Like, they're souls that haven't rested yet, and they can possess, and we're the nearest living thing so they try to attach themselves to us but end up being on our clothes instead.
Tony, crying as he cancels the beach trip: Peter, please stop, I'm already planning a different vacation plan—
#i apologize i dont really like big bodies of water#shower thoughts#?#more like sleep-deprived genius#hA#incorrect peter parker#incorrect tony stark#incorrect marvel cinematic universe#incorrect marvel quotes#incorrect quotes#incorrect mcu quotes#irondad and spiderson#iron dad#spider son#incorrect irondad quotes
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Sam, placing a +4: I never remembered UNO being this boring.
Natasha, calmly adding another +4: That's because we played 17 rounds already, and you never won one of them.
Bucky, grumbling as he picks up 8 more cards: This shit ain't team bonding, it's more like team-breaking.
Pepper, sighing as she sets down a reverse card: Fine. Whoever wins this last round gets Peter cuddles for the rest of the night.
Avengers: *suddenly all determined and focused, glaring at each other*
Bucky, sighing: See? Team-breaking.
#platonic cuddling#elite peter cuddles#it can make AND break a family#dysfunctional avengers family#PETER IS AN ADORABLE CHILD#That said pls dont reblog as any peter x adult avenger kind of way#like please#he's baby how could u#incorrect peter parker#incorrect quotes#incorrect marvel quotes#incorrect marvel cinematic universe#incorrect mcu quotes#incorrect tony stark#irondad and spiderson#iron dad#spider son#hinted atleast#incorrect natasha romanoff#incorrect sam wilson#incorrect pepper potts#incorrect bucky barnes#incorrect black widow#incorrect winter soldier#incorrect white wolf
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[S-M;NWH — Interrogation Scene]
Interrogator: We all already know what you did, Mr. Parker.
Peter, biting his lip and looking down:
Interrogator: It's better to admit to them now, it might lessen your punishment.
Peter, sighing: Okay! Okay. You got me. It was me who clogged the toilet last night, but I swear it was an accident, and I tried to fix it, but I just made it worse and it was so embarrassing—
Interrogator:
Tony: I told you! I told you it wasn't me, May!
May: How could've I known?! You're a rich person in a normal apartment, you were more likely to not be used to our bathroom!
#am i obsessed with the crack potential of the interrogation part of nwh at the start?#absolutely#incorrect peter parker#incorrect tony stark#incorrect may parker#incorrect quotes#incorrect marvel quotes#incorrect marvel cinematic universe#incorrect mcu quotes#irondad and spiderson#iron dad#spider son#incorrect irondad quotes#incorrect iron man#incorrect spider-man#again#fuck endgame
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Tony: Honeybear, I.. I really hope I'm not like Howard.
Rhodey: You're not, Tones. Trust me.
Tony, sighing in relief: Oh yeah? Guess that means I'm officially a DILF then.
Rhodey: Yeah— wait what?
Tony: A DILF? Devoted Involved Loving Father?
#incorrect tony stark#incorrect james rhodes#incorrect iron man#incorrect irondad quotes#incorrect quotes#incorrect marvel quotes#incorrect marvel cinematic universe#incorrect mcu quotes#iron dad
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Peter: Understanding is so demeaning, and it's unfair.
Scott: How come, bug-bro?
Peter: Why does it have to be understanding? Why can't it be over-standing? Or top-standing, heck, above-standing! Same with outstanding! Why not in-standing?! Confront?! Why not conback!
Tony: Kiddo, I love the passionate enthusiasm and.. desire for.. erm, equality that you have. However, don't you think that's a bit outrageous—
Peter, affronted: SEE?? WHY NOT INRAGEOUS INSTEAD OF OUTRAGEOUS?!
#incorrect peter parker#incorrect tony stark#incorrect scott lang#incorrect quotes#incorrect marvel quotes#incorrect marvel cinematic universe#incorrect mcu quotes#irondad and spiderson#iron dad#spider son#just came to my mind and wrote about it on tumblr#y'know as one usually does
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