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#incorrect spider man
hurtspideyparker · 23 days
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Peter, sneaking in through the lab window after patrolling till 3 am on a school night, running into Tony still working on a project 4 hours after he told Pepper he'd come to bed in 'five minutes':
Tony: I won't tell May if you don't tell Pepper
Peter: Deal... can I help?
Tony: You have school in 4 hours.
Peter: You didn't even go to bed last night!
Tony: ... okay but you're on fire extinguisher duty
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azerishi · 2 years
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Steve: Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
Peter, nodding sagely: So, that way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
Tony, tearing up: That's my boy.
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firegal19 · 1 year
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Tony at a party taking a headcount of his children:
Morgan and America: *dancing*
M.J.: *reading up in the rafters*
Y/n: *with M.J. but drawing*
Tony: *sighs and puts his hand on his face*
Peter: *on the chandelier, Spidey style*
Harley: *about to start a fight with a corrupt city councilman*
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marvelnatasha · 2 years
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Tony, driving Peter and Morgan: So how was your day kiddos?
Morgan: We almost got surprise adopted!
Tony: What?
Peter: We almost got kidnapped.
Tony: Oh, okay.
Tony, *slams on the brakes*: WAIT WHAT?!
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stuckysknife · 1 year
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Matt: Alright, Spider-Man, be safe out there. I'll see you around.
Peter [joking]: Unless you go blind!
Matt:
Peter:
Matt:
Peter: wait-
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incorrectanything · 2 years
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Peter: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.
Y/N: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.
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adhd-peterparker · 2 years
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Steven: *walking around disappointed after visiting an aquarium*
Peter: Steven, what did you think a tiger shark was?
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karmaspidr · 9 months
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Laura: I hate you with every inch of my body!
Peter: That’s not a lot of inches.
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sillymanwithocs · 2 years
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Avengers Tower Shenanigans:
Tony: I'm ordering food, is everyone here cool with pizza?
Peter: YEAH, I'm Kraven some pepperoni
Avengers: ...
Nat: Please don't do it
Peter: Don't do Watt?
Joe Fixit: THAT, don't start talking with puns of the villains you've fought
Peter: What's with the Negative attitude?
Loki: Does he do this often?
Jen: He should stop at six
Peter: I don't see why y'all get so annoyed, it's a Mysterio
Tony: Two more and he should shut the fuck up... Just two more...
Peter: Come on, don't get up the Wall
Joe Fixit: Almost there...
Peter: Spider-Man
Avengers: ...
Tony: What?
Peter: My past mistakes have caused more problems than any villain I've ever faced... Every time I've failed to stop them... Every time I've failed to protect my loved ones... I have the weight of my sins on my shoulders and I fear it's too much even for me to carry...
Avengers: ...
Tony: So, should I order a coke too?
Peter: If you don't mind, can it be a diet one?
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fanficwriting · 2 years
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Peter Parker’s Vigilanting 101 Class Take 7
Kate: America and I are not together!
Billy: Mhmm
Teddy: Sure.
Tommy: Whatever you say.
Kate: We aren’t!
Peter: Can we please continue class, guys-
America: *walks in and kisses Kate* Hey babe.*kisses her again* I’ll be in the bedroom.
Kate: Excuse me, I have to go do something.
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whyareyoubored · 10 months
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gwen: you fainted, do you remember anything?
miles: only the ambulance ride
hobie: that wasn’t an ambulance ride, i drove you
miles: but i heard a siren?
hobie: that was pavitr
pavitr: sorry i got nervous
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demigoddessqueens · 9 months
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Y/n: truth or dare?
Miguel: truth
Y/n: how many hours of sleep have you got?
Miguel: dare
Y/n: go to bed
Miguel: I don’t like this game
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azerishi · 2 years
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Peter: I walk around like everything’s fine..
Scott, sympathizing: Is it not? If it isn't, then that's alright, you don't owe anyone anything to pretend that you're okay when you ar—
Peter, tearing up: But deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
Scott:
Scott, muttering: Why did I agree to this..
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garlicbreadfanatic · 2 months
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spider-man!james swooping down and saving regulus before he gets hit by a car.
Reg: let me down!
James: just hold onto me! you were about to get hit by a car!
Reg: and so you have to kidnap me?
*James lands on a rooftop and Regulus scrambles back*
James: i’m sure you don’t want to leave without these. *holds up his headphones*
Reg: *goes to take them but James holds them out of his reach*
James: don’t you think i’ve earned a reward for my rescuing efforts?
Reg: … you want a kiss?
James: *the eyes on his spidey suit enlargen* uh- i just- meant a thank you.
Reg: *takes back his headphones* thank you Jamie. *walks away*
James: … Sirius is gonna kill me.
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marvelnatasha · 1 year
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Peter: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case?
Tony: I'm sorry, wHat?
Peter: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.
Tony: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?
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saturncodedstarlette · 9 months
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Miguel, snarls : You don’t deserve them.
Hobie, holding the confused Y/N tightly in his arms : Go take a bath. You reek of jealousy, mate.
🎞Visual🎞
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