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simpleman193
Simple Man
tannerofc
hella right
pie-themes
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gothish
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Making love to a rose bush is painfully romantic.
The A. G. Machine
#rose#roses#bush#bushes#romance#love#marriage#friends#flower#flowers#nature#natural#jokes#sex#sex joke#sex jokes#sexytime#sexy#fuck it#fuck#red#awkward#ouch#pain#crazy#weird
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If your definition of maturity is that you no longer laugh at farts… Then you’re just fucking boring.
The A. G. Machine
#poop#shit#fart#funny#boring#bored#stupid#old#old people#mature#maturity#silly#fun#have fun#lame#nature#natural#duece#2#chocolate
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It's 11:00 P. M. Do you know where your children are? Because I do. Your goddam kids are shitting all over my lawn gnomes.
Old Man Molasses
#kids#teens#children#11#pm#nighttime#night#shenanigans#pranks#old#angry#gnomes#lawn#old man#lawn gnome#grass#prank#trouble#hijinx#silly#stupid#crazy#poop#shit#feces#fecal matter#fecal#ass#butt#gross
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Let's be honest, you've ripped the cord for the ghost parachute to some weird National Geographic tribal shit before. Don't lie.
The A. G. Machine
#natgeo#national geographic#graphic#awkward#humor#funny#semen#jerkoff#masturbate#masturbation#sex#naked#nude#porn#regret#onlyonce#one time#dick#penis#weird#oops#truth#dont lie#realtalk#fo shizzle#no lie#crazy#drugs#sober#drunk
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You ever drop a deuce, and then realize you have no toilet paper? So then you just pull up your pants and go forever mud-flaps? Like that's normal right?
The A. G. Machine
#poop#mud#mudd#butt#flap#flaps#feces#fecal#matter#gross#what#weird#strange#toilet#cheeks#buttcheeks#booty#ass#shit#scat#wtf#nasty#funny#humor#shenanigans#wow#whoa#stupid#2013#anal
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I like when I get more followers on social networks. It's like I'm leading the conga line, and when people see it's me, they can't help but to join in. #danceparty.
#dance party#dance#party#conga#congo#gogo#dancer#pooper#twitter#tumblr#facebook#followme#follow#followtheleader#follow the leader#likeme
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#summer#sun#tanning#douche#wtf#weekend#drunk#party#party time#crunk#beach#pool#poolside#fortheladies#rum#ABC#ABCs#alphabet#learn#be prepared#getweird#get weird#good times#light bulb#good ideas#silly#meme#friday
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#girlfriend#gf#sex#porn#youporn#confessionbearmeme#confession meme#confession bear#bear meme#meme#confessionmeme#confessionbear#funny sex#sex joke#sex jokes#gf jokes#gf sex#amateur#voyeur#voyeurism#secret#post secret#postsecret#oops
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I like twitter because you can talk to celebrities. Even if they don't respond. They ignore me just like in real life.
The A. G. Machine
#celebrity#celebrity douchebags#celebrities#famous#famous people#stupid#ignore me#twitter#tweet#real life#is this real life#life lessons#lesson#get real#real talk#fuck tags#a tag for likes#high five
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#work#lazy#money#salary#stick it to the man#office#meme#hate work#i hate work#friday#weekend#end of the week#motivation#demotivation#demotivational#no motivation
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Evan Turner, I think you're supposed to be in the special NBA.
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Pretty sure I just sharted at my desk in work. Hopefully no one comes to talk to me within the next 5 minutes.
The A. G. Machine
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Is there already a spoof porn of “The Walking Dead” called “The Fucking Dead”? If not, how is that possible? Also, how can I sign up to make it?
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The iPhones are so sexy without their case. If my wife ever divorces me I'm probably just going to have to marry my phone. I guess it'll get a little crazy though. Having to get divorced and remarried every 2 years. I'd hate to have that conversation so many times.
The A. G. Machine
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