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novamariestark · 5 months

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Cowboy on a Segway

[A/N] this was written on my phone. There may be spelling mistakes, either due to my fat thumbs or autocorrect.

Summary: you and Madison have been alone since the start. You feel completely responsible for her safety. One day you two meet Columbus and Tallahassee. When they invite you back to their camp, you have a little drink with Tallahassee

Warnings: 🔞, piv (unprotected sex), age gap, Venice mentioned as your name but you can change it, oral, poorly written smut

Word count: 3641

Fandom: Zombieland 2: Double Tap

Pairing: Tallahassee x reader

For the past several years, the abandoned mall had been your home. You had managed to scavenge and collect enough supplies from the various small businesses tucked away within its walls to keep yourself fed and tended to during the winter months. However, your resources were now running dry, and you had come to the realization that it was time to venture outside of the mall and find some more provisions elsewhere. Despite the availability of other housing options, you had chosen to make the mall your home, with the only problem being your persistent little sister who had taken up residence in the freezer. Your living quarters were situated on a catwalk hanging down the ceiling of the mall, which provided you with an excellent view of all the shops and stores below, including the one that your sister wouldn’t leave.

You sighed as you encountered yet another zombie. This was typical for any journey outside - always a few of them that either had failed to make it to wherever they were going, or were too comfortable where they were. You had become used to the sudden adrenaline rush of preparing to face another one of the undead - a reflex that you had grown accustomed to over the years.

You raised your trusty axe, ready to defend yourself against the rotting corpse lurching towards you. In one swift motion, you brought the axe down on its head, cleaving it in two. The putrid flesh and bone crumbled under the force of your blow, leaving a mess behind. You wiped the axe clean on your pants and continued on your way, the cold air filling your lungs as you breathed.

But what if something happened to you? What would happen to your sister without you around? The thought crossed your mind, as it often did, as it was a constant and understandable fear. You felt a bit protective of your sister, and you wanted to make sure she was safe no matter what happened.

When you got back to the freezer, you found it empty. You realized you had been gone longer than expected and your heart sank with worry – had something happened to her while you were away? You scanned the horizon for any sign of movement. You quickly dropped the supplies through the door and set off to look for her.

‘What part of stay here did she not understand?’ you asked yourself aloud. Even before the world was overrun by drooling, undead freaks, you were looking after Madison. In some ways, she was like a toddler, you couldn’t take your eyes off her for a second.

A scream and a gunshot caught your attention, sending your heart into an indescribable panic. You knew who had screamed and terror beyond compare had you sprinting towards the source. Your sister's safety was your sole priority and with that in mind, you cocked your own gun, ready to shoot whoever was attacking her.

The distance between you and the source closed with each step you took, until you could hear your sister's voice coming from a candle shop. You stopped behind a board when you saw a – cowboy? On a segway? ‘How tired are you?’

“Don’t mind me,” he said, putting his gun away.

You stopped outside the doorway and peered into the shop. You make your presence known to the cowboy and stand beside him to find your sister hugging a curly haired boy. A stranger. Typical.

“Maddy!”

She released her hold and turned to you, “Hey Venny, look. Humans!”

“Yes,” you said, drawing out the word longer with a sarcastic nod of your head, “That’s why they’re talking,”

“Is this your dad?” Madison asked, turning towards the curly haired kid she had just been glued to. Gesturing to the man with the Segway and cowboy hat. God you loved cowboy hats.

“For shit’s sake, slightly older, better-looking friend,” he corrected. You loved older guys too but being stuck in a mall after the world ended, didn’t give you much of a social life. In fact, the only person you’ve had contact with was your sister, and sometimes you could feel yourself losing IQ points.

'My name's Venice,' you said, introducing yourself as you held your hand out eagerly for the man to take, desperate for any kind of physical contact. He placed his big hand in yours and introduced himself.

“Tallahassee.” He replied, he nodded his hat towards curly, “Not his dad,”

“Didn't think so,” you smirked, almost unable to take your eyes away from him.

He raised his brow and turned to you, his lips forming a smirk to match yours, “Oh yeah? How?” He challenged.

You looked him up and down, “Well, you’re handsome,” you shrugged then you looked over to curly, “And he’s… well I don’t want to be rude,”

“He’s a little spit-fuck, I know, Darlin’” the nickname caused shivers to dance along your spine. He looked around the shop, “You live here?” he asked you, but your sister answered for you.

“No, Paul Blart. I live in the freezer in Pinkberry, mm-hm,” she replied with a giggle, “It keeps the zombies out. Though it is awfully chilly,”

“Ever consider... turning it off?” Tallahassee asked, even though he was sure he knew the answer.

“Couldn’t find the switch, like anywhere. I was hoping the electricity would run out.”

Curly then added something about how the dams 'keep giving us power' and Tallahassee had quipped, 'Apparently not brain power.' You couldn't help yourself, and snorted in agreement, quickly trying to hide your laughter behind your hands, lest your sister discover that you were making fun of her.

As she spins to face you, her smile fades in an instant. “l feel like you’re being super judgey. Like, I’m getting a real anti-me vibe off you.” she says, pointing at Tallahassee

“Are you?” Tallahassee retorted, his tone dripping with sarcasm as he mimicked the stance of a teenage girl. His voice had even adopted a slightly higher pitch.

“Oh, my God. There it was again. That’s hurtful. I’m like really good at surviving,” Madison whined.

“What are you talking about? You barely leave the freezer. That’s hiding not surviving,” you told her.

“What about food?” Curly asked, standing beside Madison, “How’d she get food?”

“How do you think?” You asked, pointing to yourself, “Door to door service,”

“I carry a can of mace with me everywhere I go,” she says, “And I can run really, really, really, really, fast. I used to do a lot of hot yoga and Soulcycle and…”

“Cardio!” Curly blurts out, stopping her annoyingly long ramble, “Sorry, I do a lot of Cardio too. It’s actually my number one rule, which is dorky,” he said, to which you nodded, with a quiet ‘yes’ falling from your lips, which apparently the hot cowboy heard, if the throaty chuckle was anything to go by, “But I’ve got a list of rules for surviving Zombieland,”

“Really? So do I!” she yelled in her annoying peppy voice

“You have rules?!” he asked, getting excited.

“Well actually, it’s mostly just ‘Stay in the Freezer.’” She said, twirling a piece of her bleached blonde hair.

“Yeah, and you can’t even follow that rule,” you grumbled.

“Oh and ‘Don’t Eat Nuts.’ ‘Cause I’m allergic. To nuts,” she added.

Curly smiles at Madison as if she charmed him, “We’ve, uh, set up camp just down the road,”

Tallahassee tries to catch Columbus’s eye, waving his arms around, mouthing ‘no’. he wouldn’t mind you coming to their camp. But your sister? No, he’d rather slam his balls repeatedly in a car door.

Curly ignored Tallahassee and continued, “At the White House, care to join?”

“The White House?! I’ve always wanted to visit the seat of government!” Tallahassee shoots Columbus a look.

Tallahassee turns on the segway and you turned towards Pinkberry where you left your supplies, “Aren’t you comin?”

“Aw dang, you noticed me trying to dump her on you,” you said in mock defeat, earning another chuckle, “I am, just getting our things,”

“I could come with you, watch your back,”

“Is it only my back you want to watch?” you asked, catching him off guard, you shrugged, muttering “Shame,” before walking off.

You walked through the hall of empty shops. The only sounds were your footsteps and the whirring of the segway.

“You know, your boy isn’t going to have any backup if he’s attacked,” you said to him as you opened the freezer door, sticking your hand in to grab the supplies, “Just one more stop,” you said before grabbing a rope that dangled from the ceiling and climbing up to your “room.”

“You lived up there?”

“Yup, so I could keep an eye on her,” you said, pointing to the yogurt shop, “Found a cool spot years ago but she wouldn’t leave. Figured if I left it turned on, she’d change her mind. She didn’t,” you explained.

“Wait, you knew you could turn it off?” he asked, you smirked and nodded.

“Why do you think she never found the switch?” You asked, pointing to a poster on the wall.

“You hid the switch?”

“Like I said, I was trying to get her out,” you shrugged. Tallahassee laughed. Although he did wonder why you didn’t just leave her and go off on your own. He guessed it was the same reason he kept Columbus around, not that he’d tell anybody, “That’s everything,” you said before climbing down the rope and jumping to the floor, “Let’s go,”

***

Soon you were at the White House. That was now, white and green. You had tuned out the list of rules that Curly was rambling on about and your sister walked beside him as if she were a golden retriever and he had a treat in his hand.

“And rule fifty-three - ‘Wet-naps.’” He said pulling some out of his back pocket. You rolled your eyes and looked to Tallahassee.

“Does he ever stop?” you asked, he shook his head as he stared at the back of his head, a murderous gaze in his eyes.

“I can’t believe you keep all this stuff in your head,”

“Thank you,”

“It’s amazing,” she said, she stopped and turned to Tallahassee causing you both to come to a stop, “You know, you’re really lucky you found someone so smart to take care of you. Most people your age get left all by themselves, and that can be so hard,”

Tallahassee closes his eyes, the vein by his temple pulsing, he punches him in the chest, “I am so lucky.” He dragged him away, “Can we have a little summit in the Oval Office?”

“You guys. I can’t believe we’re in the White House. This is soy random,”

“Will you shut up? Please?” you looked around the space and spotted a statue, “Look, go introduce yourself,”

“You know why she’s still alive, right? Zombies eat brains. She don’t got one,”

“It’s true, she’s having a conversation with one of the statues right now,” you said at the door,

“In fact, the statue is smarter than her,”

“See,” Tallahassee gestures to you, “I’m not the only one,”

“If she’s so bad, why have you put up with her for so long?” Curly asked you.

“I could ask him the same question about you,” you said nodding to Tallahassee. Curly opened his mouth to say something but you didn’t want to hear his voice anymore, so you continued,

“Maddy’s my little sister. Like it or not, I’m stuck with her,”

“Oh,” Curly said.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, it’s just she’s um you know, like really, y-you know and you’re like y-you know, like him,”

“You know I could kill you, right? Without even moving from this spot?”

Before he could respond, your sister walked in, “Could you maybe give you a tour?” she asked, she looked around the room, “Woah, this is the Oval Office. Wait, why do they call it that?”

“For the love of God, take her on a tour,” you spat out, you needed a break from her. You were starting to miss your little paradise that hovered above ground, that gave you much needed peace. A place to escape before your sister’s squeaky peppy voice forced you to put a bullet in your head.

The two rushed out the door and a hand with a glass appeared in front of your face, you took the glass and downed the alcohol in one, “Thanks, needed that,”

“I can tell,” he said pouring you some more, “It seems yours annoys you more than mine does,”

“7 years in that shithole with only Maddy, I mean I love her, she’s my sister, but God I’d have a better conversation with a poodle,” you said, downing another half glass of whiskey, “I’m sorry, you don’t want to hear this,” you popped the glass down and headed for the door, “I’m going to find us some rooms, far away from you guys, give you some space,”

“You don’t have to, relax, have another drink,”

And you did. Or 5.

***

You and Tallahassee were swapping stories about your 10 years of Zombieland. You were sat on a chair, and he was opposite, sprawled out on the couch, you had to stop yourself from staring as his shirt lifted up higher every time he moved, displaying his abs and v-line.

Soon you heard noises coming from above, “Oh my God,” you groaned.

“I believe that’s what she’s supposed to say,” Tallahassee pointed out.

You rolled your eyes and downed the last of your drink. You don’t know what it was that caused you to be so bold and confident, probably the whiskey, but you stood from you seat and straddled Tallahassee’s hips. You lean in close, your warm breath against his ear “When was the last time someone took care of you?” you purred.

His eyes meet yours, a hint of surprise swimming in them. He smirks, his rough hands finding their way to your waist, pulling you in closer. “You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into,” he replies, his voice husky.

“I don’t?” you asked innocently. He growled and without hesitation, he swiftly pins you down, caging you beneath his powerful body, his eyes burning with raw intensity.

Tallahassee pauses for a moment, his intense gaze locked with yours, “You say the word and we’ll stop,”

“What word? I wanna avoid it,” you smirked up at him a mischievous glint in your eyes.

Tallahassee chuckled darkly before bending his head, his lips finding your neck. His hands traveled up your back, massaging and kneading the muscles there, making you arch into him further. You moaned, feeling his hot breath on your skin as he suckled a trail up your neck to your earlobe. His teeth gently nipped at it, sending a shiver down your spine.

Breathless, you look deep into his eyes, her voice dripping with desire as you plead, "Fuck me," Tallahassee groans, One hand pins yours above your head, the other travels under your shirt. His calloused fingers trace your silky-smooth skin, his touch leaving a burning trail. He undoes the button of your jeans, yanking them halfway down your thighs. Without wasting a second, he pushes your dampened panties to the side, easing a thick finger between your dripping folds. He kisses your neck and along your jawline as he thrusts two fingers expertly inside of you.

Your back arches off the couch, a strangled moan escaping your lips. Tallahassee's thumb teases your clit, circling and pressing until you're on the brink of ecstasy. He leans forward, capturing your lips in a fierce kiss as he begins to thrust his fingers deeper inside of you. You can feel his erection pressing against your hip, hot and hard, and you ache for him to be inside of you.

He started to increase the intensity as he felt your body twitch, responding to each of his movements, “Please,” you whimper, wanting more. Practically begging for it.

Your pleas didn’t go unanswered. He placed one more kiss on your lips before sliding down your body, your eyes following his every move. He pulled your jeans down the remainder of your legs and threw them across the room. As your eyes were looking to see where they landed, you feel something warm and wet seep through you folds. Snapping your head back to him, you see his face buried between your legs. His tongue swirling around your lips as if he’s trying to mop up every last drop of your slick. You can’t help but let out a moan as he bites, licks and sucks at your little bundle of nerves. Your hips buck involuntarily causing him to rest his free hand on your stomach to keep you still.

His hand returns, sliding up your abdomen, cupping your breast and squeezing gently. He licks you one more time, tasting the sweetness that coats his tongue, before looking up at you, his eyes dark with lust.

He stands up and starts stripping himself of his clothes. You clench your legs together to get friction as his cock springs free.

"Like what you see?" he asked, his voice husky and rough. You nod, unable to speak, as your gaze drifts down to the thick length of him. You quickly climb off the couch and onto your knees in front of him.

He groans, his hips jerking forward as you take him in your hands. Your fingers wrap around his shaft, stroking up and down the length of him, marveling at the heat and the size. "You're so fucking beautiful," he breathes, his eyes watching you intently.

You look up at him as you continue to stroke him, feeling his skin slide over your palm. His gaze meets yours, and for a moment, you feel like you can see straight into his soul. You lean forward, taking his cock into your mouth, feeling the velvety smoothness against your tongue. You close your lips around him, taking him as deep as you can, and begin to bob your head up and down.

His hands run through your hair, cupping your head as he watches you work him. You can feel the way he trembles, the way his hips jerk forward as you suck him deeper, the way his breath hitches in his throat. You know he's close, and you want nothing more than to feel him come in your mouth.

Pulling back, you look up at him, your chest heaving as you catch your breath. His eyes are half-closed, his head tilted back, his expression one of pure bliss. You reach out, tracing a finger along his cheekbone, feeling the warmth of his skin against your fingertip. "I want to feel you inside me," you whisper, and he groans, his hips jerking forward again.

He helps you to your feet, his hands on your waist, and guides you back to the couch. You climb onto the cushions, legs spread wide, and watch as he positions himself between your thighs. He brushes a stray hair out of your face, his thumb tracing your cheekbone, before leaning down to capture your lips in a deep, passionate kiss. His cock presses against your folds, and with one smooth motion, he pushes inside of you.

You gasp, feeling the stretch of his length as he fills you. He groans, his hips stuttering as he begins to thrust, the rhythm echoing in your core. His hands move to your hips, holding you steady as he takes you roughly, your body meeting his thrust for thrust. Your breath comes in ragged gasps, your nails digging into the soft cushion beneath you.

He looks down at you, his eyes dark and intense, his expression a mixture of lust and possession. His lips find your neck, sucking and nipping at your skin, leaving a sting that feels almost as good as the thrust of his hips. "You're so fucking tight," he growls, his words vibrating against your skin.

You arch your back, meeting his thrusts with equal force. Your nails scrape down his back, leaving a trail of red lines on his skin. You can feel the tension building inside you, the familiar ache spreading through your core. "I'm close," you gasp, your body trembling with the effort to hold back.

He groans, his hips moving faster, his cock thrusting deeper. "Cum for me," he urges, his lips finding yours in a bruising kiss. You shudder, your orgasm washing over you in a wave of heat and pleasure. Your inner walls tighten around him, milking his cock as you cry out his name.

His thrusts grow jerky and rough, and you feel the warmth of his release deep inside you. He groans, his body shuddering as he empties himself, his hips still moving even as he collapses onto you, pinning you beneath his weight. His breath comes in ragged gasps, his chest heaving against yours.

For a moment, you're lost in the afterglow of your orgasm, feeling the weight of his body pressed against yours, the heat of his skin seared into your memory. You luxuriate in the intimacy of the moment, reveling in the way he moves against you, the way he feels inside you.

He rolls off you, collapsing to the side, still breathing heavily. You watch him, tracing a lazy finger along the lines of his chest, admiring the play of muscles in his arms and shoulders, "I don't remember it feeling that good,"

"What?"

You laugh, turning your head to look at him. "You know what I mean."

"I think you mean, round 2," he smirked.

"Oh really?" you asked, a smirk of your own painting your lips, "You think you're up for it, old man?"

He swiftly pins you down again, "I'll show you who's an old man, darlin'"

[A/N] I feel like it didn't turn out as good as i imagined.

#female reader #reader insert #tallahassee x reader #zombieland x reader #zombieland fanfiction #zombieland double tap

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your-averagewriter · 2 years

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Request rules.

I don't write smut but I will write steamy make-out scenes and all that.

I will write fem!character x fem!reader, male!character x fem!reader, male!reader x male!reader. All of it including gender neutral reader.

I also only really write x reader fics.

My Masterlist - What I've already written, I update when I post.

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED DUE TO HAVING LOTS OF REQUESTS!

- Thanks for the requests though! :)

Keep an eye on this as I add more characters as I watch more shows/movies!

People/characters I will write for:

DYSTOPIAN and ACTION:

- Hunger Games - Peeta Mellark, Katniss Everdeen, Haymitch Abernathy, Finnick Odair, Johanna Mason, Annie Cresta, Lucy Gray Baird, Sejanus Plinth.

- Maze Runner - Thomas, Newt, Gally, Minho.

- Kingsman - Harry Hart (Galahad), Gary "Eggsy" Unwin (Galahad), Hamish Mycroft (Merlin), Jack Daniels (Whiskey).

- Zombieland - Tallahassee, Columbus, Wichita.

- Luther - John Luther, Alice Morgan, Justin Ripley.

- Call of Duty - John Price, Simon "Ghost" Riley, John "Soap" MacTavish, König, Alejandro Vargas, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, Kim "Horangi" Hong-jin, Valeria Garza, Keegan Russ.

- The Boys - Homelander, Starlight, Soldier Boy, Black Noir, Billy Butcher, Hughie Campbell, The Deep, Queen Maeve, A-Train, Translucent.

- Gen V - Marie Moreau, Emma Meyer, Jordan Li, Andre Anderson, Cate Dunlap, Luke Riordan and Sam Riordan.

- Fallout - Cooper Howard (pre and post Ghoul), Lucy MacLean, Maximus.

- The Walking Dead (I've only seen the first season so no spoilers please!!) - Rick Grimes, Glenn Rhee, Lori Grimes, Andrea

HORROR:

- Scream - Billy Loomis, Stu Macher, Dwight "Dewey" Riley, Randy Meeks, Richie Kirsch, Sam Carpenter, Tara Carpenter, Chad Meeks-Martin, Mindy Meeks-Martin, Ethan Landry.

- The Lost Boys - Michael Emerson, David, Star, Marko, Dwayne.

- What We Do in the Shadows - Nandor the Relentless, Laszlo Cravensworth, Nadja, Guillermo de la Cruz.

- Late Night with The Devil - Jack Delroy

- Renfield - R.M Renfield.

- A Quiet Place (1&2) - Lee Abbott, Evelyn Abbott, Emmett.

- The Boy - Brahms.

- Fight Club - Tyler Durden, The Narrator.

- Alien - Ripley, Dwayne Hicks, Hudson.

- Saw - Adam Faulkner-Stanheight, Amanda Young, Peter Strahm, Mark Hoffman.

- The Crow - Eric Draven.

- Midnight Mass - Sheriff Hassan, Father Paul, Riley Flynn.

MARVEL:

- MCU - Tom Holland!Peter Parker, Andrew Garfield!Peter Parker, Bruce Banner, Steve Rodgers, Tony Stark, T'Challa, Stephen Strange, Logan, Scott Lang, Wanda Maximoff, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanoff, Yelena Belova, Matt Murdock, Valkyrie, Carol Danvers, Peter Quill, Bucky Barnes, Phil Coulson, Gamora, Thor Odinson, Loki Laufeyson, James Rhodes, Pietro Maximoff, Druig, Sam Wilson, Shuri.

- Spiderverse - Hobie Brown, Miles Morales (both variations), Gwen Stacy, Miguel O'Hara, Pavitr Prabhakar, Peter B Parker, Spider Noir.

- X-Men and others (Deadpool etc) - Young!Charles Xavier, Young!Erik Lehnsherr, Nightcrawler, Jean Grey, Scott Summers, Nathan Summers, Wade Wilson.

DC:

- The Dark Knight Trilogy - Christian Bale!Bruce Wayne, Jonathon Crane.

- The Batman - Robert Pattinson!Bruce Wayne, Selina Kyle.

- Justice League - Diana Prince (Wonderwoman), Arthur Curry (Aquaman), Clark Kent (Superman).

- Gotham - David Mazouz!Bruce Wayne, Jerome Valeska, Jerimiah Valeska, Alfred Pennyworth, Jim Gordon, Selina Kyle, Ed Nygma, Barbara Kean, Oswald Cobblepot, Victor Zsasz, Harvey Bullock, Jonathon Crane, Jervis Tetch, Victor Fries.

The Suicide Squad - Jared Leto!Joker, Harley Quinn, Rick Flag, Chris Smith (Peacemaker), Robert DuBois (Bloodsport), Chato Santana (El Diablo).

ANIME:

- Attack on Titan - Eren Yeager, Levi Ackerman, Mikasa Ackerman, Armin Arlert, Jean Kirstein, Reiner Braun, Annie Leonhart, Sasha Braus, Erwin Smith, Miche Zacharius, Hitch Dreyse, Kenny Ackerman, Marco Bodt, Pieck Finger, Porco Galliard, Colt Grice, Bertholdt Hoover, Nicolo, Ymir, Zeke Yeager, Floch Forster.

- Demon Slayer - Giyu Tomioka, Mitsuri Kanroji, Obanai Iguro, Muichiro Tokito, Shinobu Kocho, Kyojuro Rengoku, Tengen Uzui, Kanao Tsuyuri, Tanjiro Kamado, Zenitsu Agatsuma, Inosuke Hashibira, Gyutaro, Daki, Enmu, Hinatsuru, Makio, Suma.

- Castlevania - Alucard, Sypha Belnades, Trevor Belmont, Carmilla, Lenore.

- Tokyo Ghoul - Ken Kaneki, Juuzou Suzuya, Touka Kirishima, Kuki Urie, Ayato Kirishima, Itori, Uta, Hideyoshi Nagachika.

- My Hero Academia - Shota Aizawa, Hizashi Yamada, Tenya Ida, Ochaco Uraraka, Denki Kaminari, Eijiro Kirishima, Kyoka Jiro, Hanta Sero, Shoto Todoroki, Katsuki Bakugo, Itsuka Kendo, Tamaki Amajiki, Hitoshi Shinso, Keigo Takami, Mirko, Dabi, Himiko Toga, Jin Bubaigawara.

- Obey me - Lucifer, Mammon, Levi, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor, Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, Solomon.

- Haikyuu! - Daichi Sawamura, Kōshi Sugawara, Asahi Azumane, Tobio Kageyama, Tadashi Yamaguchi, Kiyoko Shimizu, Keishin Ukai, Tetsurō Kuroo, Kenma Kozume, Tōru Oikawa, Hajime Iwaizumi, Kōtarō Bokuto, Keiji Akaashi, Wakatoshi Ushijima, Satori Tendō, Yūji Terushima, Kiyoomi Sakusa, Atsumu Miya, Osamu Miya.

- Avatar the Last Airbender - Zuko, Katara, Sokka, Aang, Azula, Ty Lee.

- Avatar: Legend of Korra - Korra, Asami, Mako, Tenzin, Iroh.

MUSIC:

- Waterparks - Awsten Knight, Geoff Wigington, Otto Wood.

- My Chemical Romance - Gerard Way, Mikey Way, Ray Toro, Frank Iero, (all the killjoys).

- Pierce The Veil - Vic Fuentes, Tony Perry, Jaime Preciado.

- All Time Low - Alex Gaskarth, Rian Dawson, Zack Merrick.

- Ice Nine Kills - Spencer Charnas, Ricky Armellino, Patrick Galante, Joe Occhiuti, Dan Sugarman.

- Palaye Royale - Remington Leith, Emerson Barrett.

- Others - Oli Sykes, Ronnie Radke, Andy Hurley, Brandon Flowers, Chris Motionless, Kellin Quinn,, John O'Callaghan, Josh Franceschi, Lzzy Hale, Hayley Williams, William Beckett, Noah Sebastian, Will Ramos, Will Ghould, Dave Grohl, Vessel (Sleep Token).

- Metal Lords - Hunter, Kevin, Emily.

SCI-FI:

- The Sandman - Dream, Corinthian.

- Prey - Naru, Taabe.

- Stranger Things - Steve Harrington, Nancy Wheeler, Jonathon Byers, Max Mayfield, Robin Buckley, 001, Dimitri, Eddie Munson.

- Star Wars - Anakin Skywalker, Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Han Solo, Rey, Kylo Ren, Boba Fett, Poe Dameron, Din Djarin, Cal Kestis.

OTHERS:

- Barbie - Barbie, Ken.

- Monster High - Frankie Stein, Clawdeen Wolf, Cleo de Nile, Deuce Gorgon, Draculaura, Lagoona Blue, Abbey Bominable, Clawd Wolf, Gillington Webber, Heath Burns, Holt Hyde, Jackson Jekyll, Neighthan Rot, Operetta, Robecca Steam, Rochelle Goyle, Venus McFlytrap, Kieran Valentine, Porter Geiss.

- Euphoria - Rue Bennett, Jules Vaughn, Maddy Perez, Cassie Howard, Fezco, Lexi Howard, Nate Jacobs (nothing abusive).

- Wonka - Willy Wonka, Fickelgruber.

- Saltburn - Oliver Quick, Felix Catton, Farleigh Start, Venetia Catton.

I know that's quite a long list and if you want me to write for a character not on there then just ask :)

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plus-size-reader · 3 years

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Sneaking Around

Columbus Ohio x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2344 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Tallahassee finding out that you, his daughter, and Columbus have been seeing each other in secret

—————————————————————————————————

It was a bad idea.

All things considered, there was nothing worse that you could have done. You both knew it, but at the same time, you couldn’t help yourselves.

Once Tallahassee found out about this whole thing, he was going to lose his mind. However, as much as you loved and respected him as your father, you weren’t blind to the fact that he wasn’t always right.

Where Columbus was concerned, for example, he couldn’t have been more wrong.

Florida acted like there was something wrong with him, even though the younger male was arguably your father’s greatest friend in the world. It was where you were concerned that the whole thing fell apart.

Columbus wasn’t good enough for you.

The idea of the two of you together, in any way, made him want to throw up and Tallahassee wasn’t exactly secretive about that. It was his one rule, the one thing he’d forbidden you from doing.

You weren’t allowed to date him.

So, naturally, that was exactly what you were doing.

It was inevitable.

The two of you were around the same age, going through something that only you were going through, and as if you didn’t already know, the apocalypse was lonely.

It wasn’t like the dating pool was vast and diverse.

Besides, you didn’t see anything wrong with it. Just because Tallahassee was your father didn’t mean he got to decide everything you did for the rest of your life.

There was a difference between keeping you safe and running your life. All you asked was that he learned the difference and respected it.

The two of you had grown up together seeing as Tallahassee had you pretty young, and your mom gave up custody of you almost immediately. In that way, you knew you were closer than the typical father-daughter would be.

...but controlling who you could and couldn’t date in your early twenties was a bit of a stretch.

You liked Columbus, and at this point, you weren’t even sure if you’d be able to stay away from him if you tried. The only other option then, if you didn’t want to be lectured into eternity, was keeping your relationship a secret.

It wasn’t ideal, and you weren’t happy about lying to him, but sometimes you had to do what had to be done.

What Florida didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

Right?

Wrong.

Sneaking around was bound to get old at some point, and the longer you kept it up, the more you ran the risk of getting caught, which just couldn’t happen.

You would never, ever, live that down.

Though, one of you wasn’t nearly as worried about getting caught as the other. In fact, Columbus was having a really good time keeping secrets from Tallahassee and sneaking around behind his back.

He was getting a kick out of it.

The older man had been busting his balls since they met and knowing that he had such a huge secret that Florida knew nothing about was some pretty sweet irony for him.

Of course, it didn’t hurt that he was head over heels in love with you.

From the start, Ohio had been in a desperate search for love and as soon as he met you, he knew you would be the one. There was just something about you, and he couldn’t imagine anyone else changing his life like you had.

You were strong and determined, without the uncontrollable anger and sass that Tallahassee had. It was as if you mixed together all the good qualities in the man with the genes of your mother, who he could only imagine was an angel.

That was the only way he could imagine Tallahassee having a kid like you.

It didn’t make any sense otherwise.

“Come here, look at this” You gushed, grabbing Columbus by the arm in a desperate attempt to get him to pay attention to what it was you were seeing.

After what had happened at Graceland, you had very little hope for the Hound Dog Hotel but it wasn’t shaping up to be too bad a time. All things considered, there was some pretty cool stuff here.

...and you weren’t the only one who thought so.

You hadn’t seen your dad since you walked through the doors and you were sure he was sneaking around here somewhere, snatching memorabilia from the shelves and singing at the top of his lungs.

At the very least, this place would put him in a better mood than he’d been in lately.

“Are you seeing this? These are Elvis’ actual shoes” you gasped, gesturing wildly to them as you fangirled. You had been raised on Tallahassee’s love of the King, and harbored quite the obsession yourself.

Being here was putting you in a really good mood.

Columbus grinned, watching you stare in awe at the blue suede, taking in every little detail of them as if you had never seen anything better before now.

It was sweet.

There was something sweet about it, something innocent that he hadn’t seen in you in a really long time. It was a real joy, without the worry or concern that came with living in a world like this one.

“I see” he hummed, not even bothering to hide the amusement in his tone as he talked to you.

A pair of shoes seemed a little silly as far as things to get this excited about were but he was just glad you were so happy. If you were happy, he was happy.

That was how this whole thing worked.

“And isn’t that amazing?” you continued, hoping that you could prompt a similar amusement from him but nothing came, not in the way you were looking for anyway.

More than anything, he just enjoyed being here with you.

The two of you didn’t get a lot of chances to be alone without the intrusion of someone else, whether that be Wichita, Little Rock, or worst of all, Tallahassee.

Just being together was all he could have ever wanted, but there was one other thing that would have surely gotten the reaction from you that he wanted so badly.

Without so much as a second thought, Ohio snatched the blue suede shoes from the pedestal they were on and slipped them on to his feet. It wasn’t a sure thing at first, but he quickly realized they were a perfect fit.

What were the odds of that?

“What do you think?” he grinned, doing his best to be suave in them, though it didn’t really work that way because he was too lanky and awkward. Instead, he sort of resembled a newborn calf learning to walk.

Thankfully, he was so endearing and adorable that you couldn't help but laugh.

“They’re very sexy” you teased, closing the space between you with a smirk on your face, doing your best to keep the giggled bubbling up in your throat at bay as you draped your arm over his shoulder.

“Oh yeah, you think?”

Columbus’ voice came in the same teasing tone as your own, his eyebrows wiggling as he looked at you, jaw tight to hold in his own laughter.

This was just too much for you both.

“Absolutely” you smiled, leaning forward just enough to capture his lips with your own as the best way to punctuate your point. They weren’t really all that sexy so much as you just liked him, but he wasn’t about to split hairs over it.

He was just glad to be kissing you, in all honesty.

However, the moment was over as quickly as it started because from somewhere behind you, someone else had entered the room and wasn’t about to leave you to it.

After all, Tallahassee was just doing his best to keep his head from exploding as he took in the sight of you, his daughter, in a heated make out with his most pathetic acquaintance.

It wasn’t happening.

He was sure it wasn’t.

The more viable conclusion was that he’d fallen somewhere and given himself a concussion, inducing hallucinations, or maybe he was dead. Anything would be easier to accept than what he was looking at.

“Oh fuck no”

Those three words were practically inaudible at first, but that too was short lived because once he’d realized that what he was seeing was really happening, that was when the yelling started.

...and once he started, it was hard to get him to stop.

In fact, by the time you’d turned around, fully separating from Columbus, your father was already red in the face.

Evidently, today was the day.

You were never going to hear the end of this.

“HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING THIS FROM ME? I MEAN, ANYONE WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER THAN HIM? WHAT HAPPENED TO MY RULES? THAT WAS THE ONE THING I ASKED-”

There was no good way for this to end, which you and Columbus both knew. Even as you looked at him, eyes wide, Tallahassee kept going. He couldn’t imagine how this had happened right under his nose.

As far as he knew, the two of you didn’t even get along but clearly that wasn’t the case. He wasn’t born yesterday, and he knew what kissing like that meant.

That wasn’t a passing smooch or a casual make out out of boredom. This was something the two of you had been maintaining for quite some time, and that was the worst part of it all.

You had been lying to him.

“Buddy, calm down. It’s not that big of a deal” Columbus tried, practically shouting into the void with his suggestion. Though, as soon as he spoke, Florida stopped his rant in its tracks.

Which wasn’t a good sign.

“Oh no, not gonna happen buddy” he spit back, momentarily making you glad he’d left his gun in the van. If he had it right now, there was no telling what would happen.

Tallahassee was angry, in general, but this was something different. For him, this was more of a betrayal than something that would make him angry, which made it so much worse.

He just couldn’t believe this was happening.

All you knew was that someone had to do something before this escalated much more and ruined the entire thing you all had going on. You were a family, but if you didn’t step in, there wouldn’t be anything left.

Clearly, Columbus wasn’t the one to fix this whole thing.

“Okay, can we just talk about this like adults please? I’m a grown up, remember?” you hummed, intentionally keeping your voice calm to keep this from escalating that much more.

Over everything else, you were sure he was more upset with you. At its core, this issue was about you growing up and doing something you shouldn't have done.

It had very little to do with Columbus himself.

If it had been anyone else, Florida would have been just as upset.

“Oh, you’re a grown up, well then, what am I even doing here?” he grumbled, completely ignoring the male at your side now, his focus completely on your face.

Objectively, he knew you were right. Even with as much as the world around you had changed, you had too. You weren’t a little girl anymore, clinging onto his pant leg and crying every time he left your side.

You were a grown woman, which was hard enough for a father to grasp, but this was something else entirely.

You weren’t allowed to be with him.

You just weren’t.

“That’s not what I meant. I just don’t get why it's such a big deal” you huffed, shoving your hands into the pockets of your jeans, where you could hide the anxious tapping you got up to.

All you were doing was seeing someone who you really liked and while having your literal father walk in on an impromptu make out wasn’t ideal, it also shouldn’t have been the end of the world.

He used to date plenty, before most of the population died out.

“Because it is. I told you not to do it, and you did” Tallahassee grumbled, crossing his arms, his words leaving his lips in a traditional dad fashion.

That was always his go to thing, even when you were a kid.

You can’t do that because I told you not to.

It might have worked out well when you were six years old and trying to tie your opposing shoelaces together but not anymore.

Now, the world was literally crumbling around you and you all faced death on a daily basis. If the worst thing you got up to was falling in love with a man who carried a tiny purell in his pocket, you didn’t get why that was such a problem.

Out of all the men you could have chosen, even before the end of the world, Columbus was by far the best.

He was sweet, smart, and cared about you more than anyone ever had in your life. By all accounts, you were lucky and while you felt bad for lying to Tallahassee about being with him, you wouldn’t have done anything differently.

Being with him was important to you, and you loved him.

Nothing was going to change that.

“I love him, okay? That’s why I didn’t want to tell you, because I knew this was how you would react” you sighed, finding it almost impossible to not just give up completely.

You knew that no matter what you said, it wouldn’t make a difference. Once Tallahassee had made up his mind, there was nothing you could do to change it.

As much as you would have liked for him to be supportive of your relationship, you weren’t going to stop seeing the man you loved just to appease him.

It just wasn’t going to happen.

It would seem that if there was any time for you to act like your father and take on his stubborn nature, it was now. You just weren’t ready to lose Columbus.

Not now, and not ever.

209 notes · View notes

80s4life · 3 years

Text

Maybe One Day

Word Count: 1,970

Status: Not requested!

A/N: I had gotten this inspiration from @ smoothcriminals on WATTPAD. There was this whole conversation a bunch of people had gotten into on just cheesy, heartfelt love and one message struck a chord. I did switch it around a bit, but not a lot.

Fandom: Zombieland 2009

Relationship: Tallahassee x Reader

Summary: As the Reader and Tallahassee finally settle down after the eventful day of saving Wichita and Little Rock, Wichita and Columbus getting together, and yet another shock of the girls attempting to leave Columbus, Reader, and Tallahassee behind. During their time of happy drinking and a settling calm, some embarrassing/ cheesy wishes/dreams are revealed.

Masterlist Zombieland Masterlist

Taglist: @snapessecretdiary

Warnings: fluff, lovey dovey, language (It’s Tallahassee, come on), slight mention of Hitler? Maybe cheesy to some folks?

{Gif not mine -> @ironduke37 }

[Y/D/D] = Your Dream Destination (You can use where you were born too if that’s what you’d like!)

(For those who don’t understand, in Zombieland, each character went by the names of where they intended on going (or their places of birth) rather than their real names. This was Tallahassee's way of not getting too involved, but overall, never really worked. It was considered intimate, given Wichita and Columbus’ relationship, and revealing of names being the thing that brought them together more.)

Sighing, I finally lower my gun, the multiples of destroyed, torn, bloodied dead bodies scattering every direction of where the boardwalk lies. Peering into the distance, I am able to spot Columbus pressing the emergency button, the girls, Little Rock and Wichita, slowly lowering back down to the ground, safely now. I stretch my arms, a feeble attempt to loosen the kinks in my arms, neck and back due to the multiple rounds of gunfire and kickbacks of guns.

A content smile plays on my lips as I start to make my way around the pier to the other Columbus, Wichita and Little Rock were currently stood upon, just catching sight of the pair hugging and kissing, grossing Little Rock out. Somewhere, in the distance, I can see Tallahassee, exiting a small game shack on the roof, surrounded by hoards of dead bodies. All of which he was glad to say he took down on his own, given he only had minimal rounds and two golden plated hand guns.

He just misses me as I make my way behind him, mimicking a zombie, wrapping my arms around his neck in a playful attempt to scare him. He jumps, grabbing my arm and pinning it, about to break it until he realizes who it is. His once tense and slightly scared expression washing off his face to emanate a look of confusion and ‘Why?’

Seeing my slightly tense smile, he lets go of my arm, my body easing from its alert state. Instantly, we burst into laughter, him wrapping his arm around my shoulders as we walk to the rest of the group. “You’re fucked up, you know that? I could’a shot you for that dumbass move you did there,” Tallahassee says playfully, although the words he had spoken were 100% true given any other situation.

“Yeah, but you didn’t. Not yet at least. Maybe next time I’ll get lucky, huh?” I respond halfheartedly, punching his chest lightly.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s not talk like that right now, okay? I mean, we just killed a whole fucking boardwalk of zombies- Hey! Maybe even more than Hitler! Do ya’ think we’ll make Zombie Kill of the Week. Oh! Or maybe even the Zombie Kill of the Year!”

“Now who’s the dumb ass?” I roll my eyes.

“Whatever,” he answers lowly, dragging on the last bit of the word.

I giggle, although it was something so simple, him always managing to bring the best out of me was something truly amazing, even after the world has gone to shit. It’s a miracle I had found the boys when I had, forming an unexpected-alliance-turned-friends-turned-family all within the course of a few weeks of road-tripping, killing, getting fucked over multiple times, and Columbus’ charm in coaxing us into telling each other everything there is to know about one another.

Finally meeting up with the girls and Columbus, we get a full view of yet another lustful kiss from the newfound couple, Little Rock rolling her eyes and fist bumping Tallahassee, motioning towards the game shack. Prideful, he does a little imaginary hair flip, placing his arms on his hips, earning yet another laugh from Little Rock and I.

After a while, Columbus, Tallahassee and I make our ways to a candy shop, a big sign stating “Deep Fried Twinkies” instantly catching our eyes, knowing damn well whose been dying for one.

“So, Columbus, you and Wichita a thing now?” I ask, an interested expression on my face, especially having been rooting for him.

“Well, as a matter of fact [Y/D/D], yes. Yes we are,” the last bit of his sentence directed at the currently uninterested cowboy in front of us. I don’t blame him though, Tallahassee had given him a whole damn speech on “She’s Just Not That Into You” for the sheer fact that Columbus was a wimp and Wichita was a crazy, loose canon, fidgety with the thought of relationships. And, not to mention, had left us high and dry multiple times, taking our cars, ammunition, and food more times than one.

“Finally got to first base...Not bad for a skrawny little spit-fuck,” Tallahassee says, almost impressed.

Columbus smiles at this, deciding to ignore the nickname this time ‘round. I decide to stay behind and talk to Columbus about it more, him being somewhat of my best friend now, just catching sight of Tallahassee entering the store with the so-called, “Deep Fried Twinkies.” At this fact, we share a knowing look, understanding that this might just be Tallahassee’s last chance at happiness, Twinkies never expected to be made again. At least, not in this lifetime.

We do, however, enter sometime later, realizing it’s been a while and having a long drive home now, needing to leave soon. We both get quite a scare, entering slowly, as we stand shocked, Tallahassee beating the shit out of the store, yelling something about where are they and such, unable to find them.

Finally, he seems to catch some sort of dignity he has left, straightening and intending on going back through the entrance. That is, until a rustle in the storage closet has us body to body, armed and waiting, Columbus making two shots of his shotgun through the door.

Curious as nothing walks through the door, we all make our way in, realizing its a rat, but not caring as we maneuver our eyes to what Columbus had managed to hit. Tallahassee almost cries and drops to his knees, his hand reaching out to touch the destroyed and messy remnants of Twinkies that had happened to be in a box of their own. Remorseful, we avert our eyes, Columbus slightly scared of the outcome from his fuck-up, but Tallahassee doesn’t say anything.

All he does is go back outside the store. I feel bad, not going to lie, but any one of us could’ve made the same mistake. I pat Columbus’ shoulder, signifying that it wasn’t that bad. We don’t have time to dwell now, what’s done is done. And now, Wichita and Little Rock are driving away with our car. Oh shit. They’re driving away with our car!

“No!” Columbus yells, coming to the same realization just as Tallahassee and I had.

Unexpectedly, the car stops instantly, Little Rock popping her head out of the sun roof, Wichita making eye contact with Columbus, smiling lovingly. Little Rock, looking towards Tallahassee, tosses him something yellow, his facing instantly lifting, catching and opening the Twinkies wrapper eagerly and taking a huge chomp.

All of us getting into the car happy, we make our way back home, or shall I say, Bill Murray’s mansion in Los Angeles, with Wichita driving. Columbus sat in passenger, Tallahassee and I in the middle row, looking out windows. Little Rock, deciding to take the open truck of the car, takes Tallahassee’s jacket for a blanket, using the space and minimal warmth to her advantage, sleeping to pass the time and to ease her exhaustion.

Not some time later, Columbus and Tallahassee follow in Little Rock’s footsteps, falling asleep in the car, leaving Wichita and I drowsy, looking at scenery in content silence. As she makes a slight sharp right, Tallahassee’s muscular body lightly collides with mine, having fallen over and across to my lap, where his head now rests. I smile, despite myself, letting him be, admiring him in silence and fighting the urge to caress all of the now smoothed creases of his brows and face. I settle for just placing my hand on his arm though, leaning my head against the window, dosing off soon after.

Waking up in the early morning, about 4 am, the sun has not shown, and we are all nudged to get out of the car, getting to the mansion safely. Still tired, I’m unable to focus, being wiped out from the exhaustion from the events of the day, going back to sleep in the car. It didn’t occur to me that we are in a zombie apocalypse, my mind being too fogged up to remember the dangers of staying here.

Feeling warm and sturdy arms encasing my body, under the backs of my knees and behind my shoulders, my head lays comfortably against Tallahassee’s shoulder as he carries me, bridal style, into the mansion and to our shared two-bed room.

As he goes to lean me into my bed, I pull him with me, not caring for my own dignity and embarrassment, too sleepy to care honestly. He chuckles quietly as I open my eyes, looking up at him, giving a tired pout. I motion for him to lie beside me, which he happily obliges.

Respectfully, he does not go under the covers, kicking off his boots and tossing his hat, laying on top of the blankets and covers providing heat.

“Ya’ know, this is kinda cheesy, but...sometimes, maybe someday, I just want to meet somebody as crazy as me, but gorgeous, and I want to marry them. And- and treat them like the goddess/god they are, and dance to slow songs in the middle of the kitchen with them, and give them the universe. And, if they want, everything and all of me,” I say, slurring here and there from the fight of sleep, not wanting to miss Tallahassee’s presence come morning.

“Why the sudden train of thoughts [Y/D/D]? Something happen?” Tallahassee asks, concerned now, starting to think of the worst. Maybe you were thinking the world was getting the best of you or you were losing hope?

“Yeah...yeah...I guess something did happen. You. You happened. And I know what your gonna say, and I just wanted to come clean while I still have little care for my dignity. I never knew what it meant to love someone like the way I do now. I never knew that love could’ve been so unexpected and make me change every plan or thought I thought I had prepared. I didn’t want to be tied down, I didn’t want to be attached, I didn’t want love, or kids, or a person for that matter...That’s before I fell for you,” I say, almost pissed at myself now as the room had gotten tense, possibly ruining the moment.

“...That’s good,” he answers, about to make me question the answer he gave, but he cuts me off quickly, “-because I feel the same thing for you. Maybe not all that romantic shit, but I’ll be romantic...enough? I love you is what I’m trynna say here. I could be that person for ya,’ or at least I’d try to...”

I giggle, on the brink of tears, crashing my lips to his, embracing his body with my own, not wanting to let him go now that I have him. “I’ve always wanted a cowboy,” I say playfully.

“Yeah, and I’ve always wanted a pain in the ass,” he answers cheekily.

The answer he gets in return is a light punch to the arm half-heartedly, “Y/N.”

“What?” he asks, caught off-guard.

“My name... It’s Y/N,” I say sweetly, the love and trust pouring with the words spoken.

“That’s an amazing name,” he says, playing with the strands of my hair, “It suits you.”

He never answered with his real name. It didn’t matter. Whatever his reasons were for it didn’t matter either. All that did matter was us.

This was a new chapter we’ve started for ourselves. Brand new, full of new ideas, promises, and events waiting to happen. A chapter we can embrace together, finally, as a couple, unexpected, but perfect and full of love to share.

#tallahassee #tallahassee x reader #gender neutral reader #zombieland #zombieland imagine #columbus #wichita #little rock #tallahassee imagine #woody harrelson #woody harrelson imagine #abigail breslin #jesse eisenberg #emma stone

223 notes · View notes

zodiyack · 4 years

Text

Family

Pairing: Columbus x reader

Warnings: Violence, swearing, zombies, death?, SPOILERS TO THE FIRST ZOMBIELAND MOVIE, um probably some stuff that would make you grossed out? I dunno, it’s zombies man, fluff

Bold + italic: Columbus’ voice-over || Italic: Memory, but I’m sure that’s already been established in my other fics

Note: I apologize if this is trashy, I wrote the beginning following the movie, since I’ve literally seen it about 100 times, and I realized I would have to include the reader more so I came up with the second half, but I’m not sure if I like it. Hope you guys enjoy!

masterlist

Columbus woke up, puzzled. He turned to face the previously sleeping girl, eyes widening when he saw her bloody and vomit covered face. She was making weird groaning sounds, but he was too busy panicking to notice them.

“Oh my God. Are you okay?” He started backing up.

She opened her mouth to let a puke-like-liquid pour out. Columbus jumped up, startled, worried, and slightly grossed out.

“Woah, woah, woah!” 406 screamed and hopped off the couch, following him slowly. “Okokok, stop, stop, stop! ...What are you doing?” She lunged at him, reaching out with one arm to claw or grab him. The screams that came out of her mouth while doing so sounded inhuman, demonic even.

Columbus wasn’t sure of what was happening, but he was slowly processing it. And slowly processing is better than not processing at all. He darted off to the kitchen, 406 following behind, still screaming. His back hit the fridge and 406 slid into the kitchen.

He lifted a blender as a makeshift weapon, “Stay back 406. I don’t want to hurt you-” She blinked as the top half of the utensil fell off. Columbus stared at her for a few seconds, muttering one word when he realized what just happened to his form of protection. “Shit.”

406 lunged at him again, causing him to throw the blender to the side and move out of the way as quick as he could. She ran straight into the fridge, turning around and following him. They ran through the house, her being blood thirsty, and Columbus being scared for his life.

He ran into a room on the right and shut the door as quick as he could. However, 406′s ankle was in the way. He had shut the door on her ankle. She wrestled to get in, screeching louder when she twisted her foot and he pushed harder against the door. The bone was now visible, and Columbus, being the innocent sweetheart that he is, apologized over and over to the undead girl.

“Oh my God, I am so fucking sorry!”

406 screeched, but in all honesty, it sounded like she was screaming “ow” in the inhuman voice. Her face kept contorting in pain, it didn’t last long though. She managed to push the door open.

Columbus ran to the connected bathroom, rushing to unlock the door that led out of it. Unfortunately for him, she was fast. She pulled him off the door and threw him into the shower, making the shower-curtain fall on top of him. 406 did as the curtain had done, but on purpose, and tumbled onto Columbus.

Panicking even more than he had just a few minutes ago, Columbus grabbed the curtain and tossed some of it over her head, putting his hands on her shoulders to keep it from coming off. Her face-shape began to appear in the curtain as she screamed and leaned forward. Her fighting grew more violent, her mouth almost reaching his face, he slid his hands to the part of the curtain behind her head. It would’ve suffocated a normal human, but once again, Columbus was in denial and too panicked to notice the abnormality

She grabbed the shoulders of his hoodie, the two moving around as they wrestled for life or death. Columbus finally got the upper hand and pushed 406 into the cupboard. Her mouth was more visible now, and she was biting over the curtain, which had gone into her mouth. A few chomps later, and her tongue ripped through the curtain, blood spilling out of the hole with it.

Columbus made a sickening noise, reaching behind himself with one hand, the other still holding his undead neighbor back. 406 was now grabbing his face in an attempt to pull it closer to hers while her tongue moved around. A smaller cupboard opened behind Columbus, allowing him to reach in. He pulled out a bag of cotton balls, taking a second look in confusion and slight regret.

The cotton balls were thrown at 406′s face, not phasing her in any way. He reached in again, pulling out a roll of toilet paper and throwing it at her, making a face after it didn’t affect her either. His reaction to the useless weapons could be summed up with the words; “What. The. Actual. Fucking. Fuck.”

He finally pulled out a random spray-can, spraying it into 406′s open mouth. She started coughing. Columbus was unaware that she was a zombie, as it was only the beginning of the apocalypse, but she was. And since she had only recently turned, she was faster and still reacted in a somewhat human way.

Columbus took the chance he was gifted, moving backwards on the floor while 406 coughed. By the time he stood up, 406 was growling and wrestled the curtain off. She crawled towards Columbus, who was now half on the toilet and grabbing the toilet tank’s lid. She finally reached him, only to get the lid smacked hard to the back of her head.

Breathing heavily, Columbus walked backwards out of the bathroom, slamming the door shut. He held up the lid, continuing to walk backwards. Panic and cautiousness never left him.

“You see, you just can’t trust anyone. The first time I let a girl into my life and she tries to eat me.”

He stopped halfway in the hall. Something didn’t feel right.

The door pulled open with a loud creak, and 406 used the door frame to help herself stand up. She looked at him and limped forwards a little. Her eyes met his. Even though she was dead, her glare seemed so agitated, it felt human.

“Please...” He started backing up. “Listen to me,” he swallowed. The sweat was glistening on his forehead. “406. If you’re in there...You’re just sick.” Columbus shook his head, trying to reason with the undead girl. “Okay?”

406 moved her head around. She looked at him intensely. Then, she lifted her head to the ceiling and closed her eyes. She let out a loud demonic scream. It was the most horrifying shit Columbus had ever heard and seen; she limped towards him, dragging the broken foot behind, her speed picking up quickly.

Columbus prepared himself. She was getting closer. Closer. Closer. Until-

‘BANG’

He smacked the lid across her face with the rest of the strength he had. Her body dropped to the floor and stayed there. She lied limp and dead. For real this time.

And with that, the rule of Double Tap was born. As well as Columbus’ other rules and knowledge of the zombies. Zombies existed, and it was time to wake up and realize it.

Where was Columbus now? He was with his family. No, not his real family...they were dead. He was with Tallahassee, Little Rock, Wichita and Y/n.

They survived the grocery store. That’s where the two men met Little Rock and Wichita. They survived the Police Station. That’s where the four of them met Y/n. And they survived Pacific Playland all together. That’s where the two men rescued the three girls. That’s where they called each other family.

To be specific, he was lying in bed with Y/n. Cuddling is something that is need often in the zombie apocalypse, seeing as the world has been taken over by man-eating monsters. Cuddles were a way to comfort your partner at a time like this one. And that’s what they were. Partners. Lovers. Mates. Soulmates.

They were and had been for a while now. He was glad that he let a girl into his life once more. Y/n was his world, and he was hers. When Y/n met Columbus, she was serious, not afraid, ready to die. However, now that she had been with him for a long time, she was willing to cling on a while longer. And he was too.

Y/n bashed the third zombie’s head with the end of the rolling chair. Her safe place had been destroyed. The undead were closing in. Who would do this?

“Hurry! We’re gonna need to hurry if we want to get out of here a- ...alive...”

The h/c girl turned to the voice. It was a young girl. She had braids in her hair, a shotgun in hand, and was tapping the other girl next to her. The older girl turned and her mouth dropped open.

“Columbus. Tallahassee.”

The two men she must’ve been talking to turned. One caught Y/n’s eye. He was a rather sweaty, but cute curly haired guy. His curls were sticking to his forehead. He was breath-taking. The other male, was an older guy in a cowboy hat. If y/n had to guess, she’d guess he was Tallahassee.

“Uh- uhm- hello. Are you...”

“Bitten? No. But thanks to you guys, I could have been. What’d you do anyways?”

“We um...” The child spoke up again. She didn’t know how to explain it, her badass aura was replaced with shock. “Well we thought this place was abandoned.”

“That’s okay. Do me a favor though.” The group nodded, one of them shooting a zombie that managed to get through, then returning their attention to Y/n. “Take me with you.”

“Excuse me?” Cowboy-hat-man asked. He had a country-like accent, and that added to Y/n’s guess of names. He looked suspicious of her.

“Take me with you.”

“Why should we-”

“Okay. You know how to work a gun, correct?”

Y/n quickly pulled out shot a zombie that stood behind the curly haired man. It was like it came out of nowhere, but it helped Y/n prove her point and confirm the man’s question. “I don’t know. Maybe.” She shot the zombie’s head a final time, now that it had been in her view after the group moved to see what she shot at.

“Cool. I’m Little Rock.”

“Nice shot. Wichita.”

“Come on guys, are we seriously gonna-”

“Columbus. How’d you know to double tap?”

“Just something I do. Nice to meet you guys. I’m guessing angry cowboy is Tallahassee?” The group nodded with smiles on their faces. They didn’t even know it yet, but they seemed more and more like a family with each moment they spent together.

“Y/n?”

“Yes Columbus?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” She giggled, adjusting her head on her boyfriend’s chest.

“Y/n?”

She giggled more, “Haven’t we already done this?”

“Yes but...”

“Hmm?” She closed her eyes. She was listening to his heart beat and his talking, it was all so soothing.

“I’m glad we met you.”

“I’m glad you guys did too. And I’m really glad that we’re all together now. A family.”

“A family.”

Their lovely time alone was crashed by Tallahassee, a now 15 year old Little Rock, and Wichita. They jumped onto the bed, laughing amongst themselves. Their family wanted in on the cuddles. The entire family was there, and they were thankful.

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toomanyfandoms02 · 4 years

Text

The Transporter ~Part Three~ // Spencer Reid x Reader

Sorry this took so long!! I have been so busy with work lately, but here she is.

Word count ~ 2,900+

Hope you guys like it :))

I stepped back through the transporter to be met with an empty room. I glanced at the clock on the wall. It read 10:15, that wasn't *that* late. Christine is probably still awake.

I made my way to her room, which wasn't incredibly far from mine. Her door was cracked open and I could see her laying in bed, reading a book in the semi dim lighting. I knocked lightly, pulling her out of her fictional world of Harry Potter.

"Oh! Y/n, I didn't think you were coming back tonight. How was everything?" She gently set her bookmark in the book, placing it on her nightstand.

I couldn't hold back the smile on my face. It was the coolest day of my life, what could I say?

"It was so amazing Christine! I accidentally set myself right into an investigation that I knew about. I met all of them, and it felt different than I thought I would-"

"Did you talk to Spencer?" She asked, nudging my side. I could feel the blood rush to my face.

"Uh, yes." I smiled, looking down at her star clad comforter. "It was incredibly surreal and I can't wait to go back. It was kind of a funny interaction, the first one. He asked me to profile him, which was obviously easy because I know him like the back of my hand. Well I thought that was gonna be the end of our interaction that day. But I accidentally left my laptop at the Bureau."

"Oh yeah *accidentally*." She smiled, throwing air quotes.

"Shush, it was actually an accident." I giggled. "Anyway, he looked up my address I guess and he brought it to me. It was sweet."

"I guess now he knows where to send flowers." I shook my head with a smile. "Well I'm glad you had fun. I hope everything works out well, don't forget there's an actual case though." She winked.

"Thanks Christine, for everything." I waved as I slinked out of the room and down the hall.

I flopped down onto my bed with a simple grin, quickly falling asleep after my eventful day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I slapped my hand over my phone as the alarm began blaring at 9:30. I wanted to fully commit to this whole thing, just like I was in real life. But in reality, I was waking up pretty late, considering I was going to go into their universe at 8:30.

It appeared that Christine was already awake, she was softly knocking at my slightly cracked door.

"Hey sweetie, I take it you wanna head out soon?"

"Yeah! And I'm gonna have to be gone for a couple of days for the case. Get all integrated and such. Is that alright?"

"Yeah of course! Just document some experiences, or anything that seems weird or off about their universe." Chris left the room, shutting my door with a light thud.

I slipped on a white button up, putting a maroon sweater over it to add my own little touch. I looked in the mirror to make sure my dress pants were fitting me correctly and stepped into my two inch black heels.

Since I would be gone for a few days, I grabbed a suitcase plus my go-bag that I had already had from my time interning. The navy blue bag was slung over my shoulder as I walked out my door, immediately bumping into someone. I looked up to see who I remembered as Violet Glynn, who went into the Zombieland Universe.

"Sorry, Violet, right?" I shook her hand. "How's your universe going? I've always loved that movie. Please tell me Columbus is just as sweet and endearing as he is in the actual film?"

I could see her eyes light up with glee, clearly she hadn't had anyone to fangirl properly to, I could tell she was about to explode with information.

"Yes! He is incredibly kind. Talahassee is already trying to dad me, Little Rock and I are already pretty good friends but Witchita is still kinda weary of me, which is understandable. I talked to Ryan, and he said I can only change a few major things so one I chose to do was to keep Columbus from killing Bill Murray. Bill is so fun to live with so far! I just - I am totally talking about myself for too long. How is everything going for you?" I offered her a kind smile of reassurance.

"It's completely fine, I get your excitement. It's really cool, kinda different from the real job I was working. Maybe that's because I'm permanently gawking at one of my coworkers." We both laughed for a moment. "But I'm gonna be gone with him for like 3 days straight so, I guess I'm gonna have to figure something out. When I come back we should talk more." Violet nodded enthusiastically and waved as we walked to our Transporter rooms.

"Of course! See you in a few days."

I could hear Christine's heels clicking not far behind me as I began typing in the date and time.

*February 12th, 8:30 am. 2009*

"Good luck, I will see you in a few days time, yeah?"

"Yep!" I shoved my 'Come back device' in my go-bag and turned on it's much larger counterpart, nodding at Chris as I stepped in.

I was immediately greeted by my apartments bedroom, I could hear my phone buzzing on my side table. I lifted it to see a text from a certain favorite person of mine, and she didn't even know me yet.

*Penelope G*

*Hey sweets! The plane will be ready to be boarded at 9:15. The team is meeting at the BAU first for a carpool, so be there or be square! Have a good time on your first mission, from what I've seen, you're pretty amazing. :)*

I held back a small smile from my lips, this world is just as good as I always wanted it to be.

*Thank you M'lady. I've heard amazing things about you. I hope we can gossip sometime! ;)*

I sent the text and slipped my phone into my back pocket. I chucked a piece of toast in the toaster, quickly spreading peanut butter on it and checking my watch.

*8:45*

I began my walk to the BAU, probably looking extremely weird walking down the street in work attire and a piece of toast slathered with peanut butter. But I was pretty content, continuing to eat it as I reached the doors of my favorite place.

I brushed my hands together to rid of the many crumbs that had accumulated there, seeing JJ and Penelope talking at Jennifer's desk.

"Y/n! Come over here." Penelope waved me over, I pulled at the sleeves of my sweater as I walked over as confidently as possible. "Are you ready for your first case?" She leaned in a little, clearly trying to search my face for a quicker answer.

"Yeah, I think I'm pretty ready. I've done this kinda stuff before but, I'm way more nervous about this."

"I wouldn't worry to much about. I think you already impressed Hotch and Spencer, you read people extremely well. Did you seriously gather all that stuff from Reid just by knowing him for a few minutes?" JJ was clearly now invested.

"Well, yeah. He's relatively easy to read, as long as you're paying attention." JJ nodded with a smirk.

"Well, you certainly made a good first impression, you honestly sound a lot like Reid, maybe you can..." I watched as she peered behind me, her words trailing off. Her eyes darted back and forth between me and whatever was happening behind me. I whipped my head around to see Spencer walking in, he was distracted my a book, which made me smile. But that smile quickly faded as I scanned my eyes over his outfit.

He was wearing a white button up with a black tie and a maroon vest over it with black dress pants. Sound familiar? All but the black tie.

"Maybe you are even more like Reid than I thought." JJ smirked at me. All the blood had run to my face and my feet felt bolted to the ground. Why this? Why on my first official day? I could hear Garcia holding back a laugh behind me.

"This is adorable I'm sorry." She said, giggling a little.

Spencer finally looked up from his book, hearing Penelope laughing. He furrowed his eyebrows, squinting a bit. Probably wondering why I looked like a deer in headlights. He looked down at himself.

Then back up at me.

Then down at himself again.

He just smiled at me and closed his book all the way, adjusting the go-bag he held on his shoulder. I nearly dropped mine.

"What just happened?" Penelope nudged my shoulder. I shrugged and shook my head.

This was clearly going to be quite the day.

I ended up carpooling with JJ, Morgan and Reid. JJ and I sat in the back while Morgan drove, Spencer spitting facts to him about cars and traffic.

"Well, according to the DC Department of Motor Vehicles, there are almost 450,000 active drivers registered in the District. However, millions more drivers commute to DC from neighboring communities in Maryland and Virginia. D.C. is also host to millions of tourists from around the world. In 2014, more than 20 million people visited D.C., many of them renting a car or driving their own vehicle to visit." He rambled.

"Reid, all I said was there was a lot of traffic today."

"I mean he's right though." I piped in. Spence looked back at me with confused eyes. "Washington D.C. is also home to some of the worst traffic in the country. Analysts estimate that the average driver will spend 7 hours a year in traffic, wasting 6 gallons of gas. However, for D.C. drivers, one estimate found the average driver is spending 67 hours a year in traffic, wasting 32 gallons of gas while sitting in traffic." I think hearing him so much on the show, made me a little bit like him in some ways, my friends always rolled their eyes at me whenever I rambled. The only real one who listens is my uncle. He had turned around, but I could tell he was smiling.

Success.

"Good lord there's two of them."

I'll take that as a compliment.

We boarded the plane and I decided on a window seat, leaning my head up against the cold glass. My hand was unknowingly gripping the armrest a little too tightly.

"Are you a nervous flier?" I would obviously know that voice from anywhere, but right now it was coming from right across from me. I leaned my head back on the headrest.

"Not necessarily, I've flown quite a few times. I've just never been in a jet."

"The key difference between jets and propeller planes is that jets produce thrust through the discharge of gas instead of powering a drive shaft linked to a propeller. This allows jets to fly faster and at higher altitudes." He loosened his tie a little. "So I wouldn't worry too much, it feels about the same."

"Well thank you."

It was silent for a bit, but once we were in the sky we began talking about the case. Emily was talking about how she wants to be cremated because being buried was gross and weird.

"I actually agree with you. I think cremation is more personal too, I want someone to sprinkle my ashes somewhere. Not have to visit my grave and waste money on flowers every year."

Me and Emily got into that conversation as the rest of the team slowly started to do their own things. Spencer was back to reading his book, one page every 5 seconds. He peered over his book for a moment, but only a moment.

"I like your outfit by the way." He mumbled, still focused on his book, he lowered it a bit. I could see a smirk creeping onto his features. My ears began burning as the blood rushed to them.

"Thanks." I really wanted to say more to him, but it felt like my jaw was wired shut.

Morgan was not so discreetly looking over at us with eyebrows raised. But I kept my eyes out the window.

We landed about 2 hours later. I had kept myself occupied by writing down everything that just happened, so I wouldn't forget, and for Christine.

"Morgan, Reid, y/l/n, you go with the police search party and find what you can. Prentiss and I will talk to their chief. Rossi and JJ, set us up in the station."

Once we were there, we were put on a search party with the police, they quickly found the body of another woman covered in mud and holding a cross necklace. We were bringing the evidence back to the station with the others. On the way back, Spencer was telling me about the history of gold cross necklaces. I could practically hear Morgan rolling his eyes the whole time, but I just loved hearing him talk.

Once we were there, Rossi showed his blatant coldness towards the psychic that was telling a scared mother that her daughter was okay. Hotch began sending us off again, and we were off to see the bodies.

Days here moved so fast.

Once we arrived I stared at the body on the table. I lightly touched her arm, cold as ice. Seeing these body through the screen was one thing, but knowing these are real people, it's even more sad. Of course I had seen many bodies in my time, but the thought that this wasn't fictional anymore made my stomach churn a little.

"I found trace amounts of seamen, but there is no sign of sexual assault."

"Are you saying this was consensual?" Spencer tilted his head a bit. No no sweet child.

"She's saying it's happening post-mortem." I said, looking down a little. Morgan nodded and Reids face scrunched. This poor woman.

I knew I couldn't change much, because that could royally screw some stuff up, si throughout the whole thing I decided I would change things little by little to move it along faster. What I did this time was make it so we didn't waste time and interrogate the random man who was accused of being a necrophiliac, because his timeline wouldn't match up.

We made it to the house just a smidge earlier, Brooke was found on the operating table in the abandoned home, completely fine.

The days had become exhausting, as soon as we got on the jet I sat in the same seat, dropping my bag down and grabbing a small pillow out of it. I set the pillow against the window and drifted off to sleep fast.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up to JJ shaking my shoulder, opening my eyes to see a blanket that read *e=mc²* all over it.

"What is this?"

"Oh, I believe Spence put that on you while you were asleep. You were shivering and he happened to have it in his go-bag I guess." She shrugged. "Everyone is heading home, so you want a ride?"

"That would be amazing, thank you."

"No problem."

It was only 5 pm, and Christine wouldn't be expecting me back until tomorrow. So I decided I was gonna get some stuff done with my time, more specifically one big thing.

I grabbed the wad of money that Chris had given me and waved down a taxi. I had them take me to the nearest car dealership. I made a hasty decision and bought a 2007 Mini Cooper. Now I could do what I really wanted.

I looked up Spencer's address and grabbed his blanket, which I had neatly folded and threw on my coffee table. He appeared to live around 15 minutes away by car.

Once I was there, nerves had set in, but I ignored them as I reached the door and knocked 3 times.

I heard a faint "Coming!" From the other side of the dark oak door. He answered with his phone propped up on his shoulder, talking to someone.

"Sorry Mom, I gotta go, love you." He hung up and pulled his phone from his ear. "Hey, what are you doing here."

I presented his blanket to him.

"I figured I would return the favor of you bringing me my laptop by bringing you your blanket." I flopped it into his outstretched arms.

"We have got to stop meeting like this." He smiled, bringing the blanket to his chest. "Would you like to come in?" He brought his hand to the collar of his shirt, attempting to loosen the strain it clearly had on his neck. "I just made a pot of coffee. And since you're just about the only one who actually listens to my ridiculous amount of rambling, I figured we could ramble together? I mean I don't know you very well and I honestly want to be the first to befriend you, you're very intriguingly different. Not in any kind of bad way I just-" His face was slowly getting more red and I could see that his grip on the poor blanket was almost white knuckle.

"I would love to." I stepped into his apartment with a sigh.

Was this a dream?

Maybe.

If so, I wanna be asleep *forever*.

Taglist!!

@natibugg31

@onceupona-diamond

@buck-barn

@cyndagoaway

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #dr spencer reid #criminal minds fic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction

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novamariestark · 8 months

Note

OMG I just came across your page and read your Tallahassee fics and had to come say that they are so spicy, fun & amazing!!!! Please tell me you have plans to write more because you’re the best writer I’ve read for him 💕

I wanted to ask if I can request a bit of a comfort fluffy one if you like it where like in the first movie he reveals to everyone that Buck was actually his son so the reader ends up comforting him later and they make love telling him they won’t replace his baby but maybe it’s time they can make a new family of their own together.

Hello 😁, thank you, I'm glad you like my stories. I am in the middle of another one atm but I got multiple ideas on how to end it and I sometimes can't make decision to save my life 😂. I rewrote this a couple of times, trying to get it perfect. I hope it's somewhat close to what you were thinking x😊

𝐿𝑜𝓈𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐿𝑜𝓋𝑒

Summary: During a game of Monopoly, you find out that your boyfriend lost the most important thing in his life. His son

Warnings: none

Word count: 1950

“Hey guys, look what I found,” you announced cheerfully as you skipped into the living room, where the group was gathered around the fire, their faces illuminated by the flickering flames. The room is dim, but the fireplace casts a gentle glow. You held up a box with a hopeful smile plastered on your face, revealing the game you had stumbled upon, “Wanna play?”

“Oh, Monopoly,” Columbus said, reaching up for the box with a smile. "Cool." He quickly opened the box to admire all of the little pieces, game tokens, Chance cards, Community Chest cards, and the big stack of Monopoly Money. He placed the box in the middle of the group and began unpacking the pieces.

"Wow," Wichita exclaimed, "I haven't played that in years."

“Dibs on the top hat,” you called out, shooting your hand in the air as if you were asking your teacher for permission to talk. Tallahassee smiled at your childlike enthusiasm, and you could feel his gaze on you as you eagerly awaited his response. After a few seconds, he silently handed you the top hat, and you took it with an excited expression. You quickly took the spot next to him, and his arm immediately wrapped around your waist. You felt the warmth of his body pressing against you, and you smiled as you settled into the spot that you would come to think of as yours. You had been searching for this feeling for a long time, and now that you had it, you felt happy and content. Tallahassee smiled as he kissed your head.

You each roll the dice, aiming to get the highest number that you can and to be the first to get to the fun and exciting places on the board. Wichita lands on Park Place and wastes no time, quickly buying it up and planning to build some houses. Little Rock, meanwhile, rolls a double, is thrilled to land on Boardwalk, and is lucky enough to be able to buy it before anyone else. On the other side of the table, Tallahassee gets sent to the 'Go' spot, collecting two hundred dollars and reminiscing on all the times that she has mistakenly ended up there before. Columbus, however, rolls snake eyes, revealing that it’s time to pay taxes.

Little Rock rolled the dice again and got a seven. She moved her token and landed on the Free Parking space on the game board.

“Oh, free parking, which coincidentally is the best thing about Zombieland,” Wichita points out, and you laugh before bringing your drink to your lips to take a sip.

“That’s a good one, but I think the best thing about Z-Land is no speed limit,” you replied, smirking. The statement echoed through the group, eliciting knowing chuckles. You were no stranger to the thrill of the open road, though your reckless driving had earned you a fair share of speeding tickets in the pre-apocalyptic world, which the group was not surprised about. Tallahassee rarely lets you drive anymore.

“Of course, you’d say that,” Tallahassee said with a chuckle. Columbus shook his head and Wichita was suppressing a giggle. Little Rock sat with a straight face, although you could tell she was amused. You grinned at them all.

“No, best thing about Z-land No Facebook status updates. You know "Rob Curtis is gearing up for Friday". Who cares.” Columbus added, rolling his eyes.

“Or ‘Already on my third cup of joe this morning!” You chimed in.

Tallahassee, with a playful twirl of the fork in his fingers, added, "The best thing is no more flushing, epic." His statement elicited a collective chuckle from you.

You shook your head at him and smirked. “Of course, you’d sat that,” you mimicked. You squeal as he brings his hand to your waist, giving it a light pinch.

"And the worst thing? About Z-land?” Wichita asked, her eyes grazing over the group.

“You mean other than the fact that I shot Bill Murray?” Columbus asked sadly, looking down at the board, looking for something to occupy his hands.

Tallahassee's gaze remained fixed on the floor as he spoke, “That's easy. Losing Buck,”

“That's his puppy.” Columbus told the girls, gesturing towards him.

“I tell you, I never thought I could love anything like Buck. The day he was born, I just lost my mind.”

“Sorry.” Wichita whispered, her voice heavy with regret at asking the question.

“He had my personality, my laugh, and my appetite,” he continued, the strain in his voice becoming more obvious as he was on the verge of crying. Then it hit you. The pain that was swimming in tears in his eyes, his actions, and his hatred towards the zombies It wasn’t a puppy they took from him. It was his son. Why did it take you so long to realize this?

His soft sobs that he fought to contain drifted through the air, reaching your ears. You felt helpless. You didn’t know how to make him feel better. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out something: “We made this wallet together out of duct tape."

He handed the wallet to you, and in it, you saw two pictures of a young blonde boy. You smiled. He’s adorable, or he was. Asshole zombies. You wanted kids. At least you did before the apocalypse started. Now it seemed like a bad idea. Even though you would love to have a family with Tallahassee. But you weren't sure if he'd want one with you.

“I haven't cried like that since Titanic,” he said, picking up a pile of money to wipe his tears. Tallahassee excused himself from the game and headed upstairs. You then excused yourself and followed him.

You softly knocked on the door before entering. “It’s only me,” you said. When you walked in, he was lying on the bed, hugging the pillow. You went to the other side and lay down beside him, facing him. “I’m sorry, baby."

You wished you could take away his pain, but all you could do was be there for him. You kissed his forehead, whispering words of love and comfort. You looked into his eyes, wet with tears, and saw the depth of his grief. You knew he had lost a part of himself—a part that could never be replaced. You wanted him to know that he was not alone and that you loved him more than anything in the world.

“I know nothing I can do can ever make up for that, but I love you, and you have me forever,” you whispered. Tears welled up in your eyes as you stroked his cheek, wiping away the trail of water left behind by his tears. You wished you could kill them all and wipe them off the face of the earth. You wished you could end this nightmare, this hell.

But you knew that was impossible. You knew that you were outnumbered and outmatched. You knew that you had to keep fighting, keep living, and keep hoping.

You tightened your grip on him, trying to convey your love. You kissed his cheek, his neck, and his shoulder. You whispered words of comfort. You told him that you were sorry, letting him know that you were there for him and you would be through anything.

He smiled weakly at you, squeezing your hand. He thanked you for being there for him, for being his rock and his anchor. He told you that he loved you too and that you were his everything.

He leaned in and kissed you softly and gently. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer to him. He rested his head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat. He closed his eyes and sighed. He felt a flicker of hope in his heart.

You continued to stroke his cheek softly, basking in the warmth of his skin. His eyes fluttered shut, and his breathing was slow and steady. You couldn't help but smile at the sight of him, completely relaxed.

However, your mind was racing with questions and doubts. You had been through so much together, surviving in a world that had been torn apart by a deadly virus. The two of you had formed a bond that was unbreakable.

After a few minutes of internal debate, you decided to voice the question that had been weighing on your mind since you got together. "If the world wasn't the way it was, would you have a family with me?" you asked softly.

There was a moment of silence, and you felt your heart sink.

But then he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. "Yes, I would," he said. "If we can find a safe place to set up camp and live, maybe we still can."

You couldn't believe what you were hearing, but it seemed impossible in a world where survival was the only goal.

"Do you really think we can?" you asked as his hand moving to rest on your stomach as if something was already growing in there.

He nodded with a determined look in his eyes. "I'll make sure of it," he said, pulling you close and kissing you softly.

As your kiss grew more passionate, you felt like the whole world around you had stopped. His hands slowly left your face and tangled into your hair. As our kiss grew more passionate and desperate, it felt as though time had stopped. Your lips intertwined, speaking what words could never express.

You knew that the future was uncertain, but with him by your side, anything was possible. Tallahassee had become your home, and no matter where you were, as long as you were with him, you knew that you would be okay.

***

9 months later.

You writhed in pain as you lay on your bed, clutching the sheets tightly in your hands. Tallahassee was kneeling by your side, offering words of comfort and support as he guided you through each painful wave. But despite your best efforts, you couldn't help but feel a seething anger building within you. As the minutes turned into hours, your frustration grew with each passing moment.

“God, I hate you!” You screamed at him, squeezing his hand as hard as you could, your nails digging into the rough flesh.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the moment arrived. With one final push, you gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Tears streamed down your face as you held your newborn in your arms, your eyes glistening with tears of joy, exhaustion, and overwhelming love. The tiny, fragile life you cradled in your arms represented a glimmer of hope in a world tainted by chaos and uncertainty.

You both gaze down at your newborn daughter, her fragile fingers clutching one of Tallahassee’s. You turned to him, his eyes reflecting a mixture of pride and tenderness, and asked, "What shall we name her?"

Tallahassee, who had been deep in thought, looked up at you with a twinkle in his eye. "I have the perfect name," he said, as his thumb gently stroked the back of your daughter's tiny hand. "Let's call her Dove."

A warm smile graced your lips as your eyes lovingly met those of your beautiful baby girl. "Dove," you whispered softly, "I love it."

And Dove it was. The name suited your little angel perfectly, with her delicate features and pure innocence. You both vowed to love and protect her with everything you had and to give her the best life possible.

With your precious newborn cradled between you, he gently leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead. “Thank you,”

You took his hand in yours and looked him in the eyes. “We’re not replacing him,” you told him seriously. He squeezed your hand and brought it to his lips, placing a soft kiss on the back.

[You can change the name if you want guys ❤]

#reader insert #female reader #tallahassee #zombieland #tallahassee x reader #zombieland fanfiction #zombieland x reader

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plus-size-reader · 3 years

Text

Rule Number 2

Columbus Ohio x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2921 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Columbus finding you, hiding in a gas station, and feeling like he needs to keep you safe...which technically breaks his rules

—————————————————————————————————

You had been holed up in that storage room for what felt like forever.

When everything went to shit, you had been at work, and going anywhere else didn’t really feel like an option. You gave it a shot once or twice, but there were only so many times you could almost be attacked before you moved on.

It wasn’t worth the risk.

Besides, it wasn’t as bad as it may have seemed to an outsider looking in. You had plenty of food and drink, even if the quality was a little iffy and it was basically secure.

You had put a deadbolt and chain on the door, and it would have taken quite a bit to get to where you were, often huddled up in the back room behind a second locked door.

It was safe from all manner of intrusion.

When the lights were off, which was most of the time to keep the generator from running, the zombies didn’t really come around too often. Every once and a while, you’d have to kill one off but not too much happened other than that.

It was peaceful, all things considered.

Until he came through.

You weren’t sure who he was at first, or why he was here. All you knew for sure was that if he didn’t stop making so much noise, he was going to bring an entire swarm of the dead down on you.

Which wasn’t alright by you.

So, you stood from where you had been, content to just sit on the floor and wait for him to leave, hoping that you could figure something out. What you had gathered from peeking out the windows hadn’t given you much to go off of.

Of course, it would have been far better to just wait it out but it wasn’t like you could stay here anyway.

Everything that was safe about this place would be gone after this little stunt.

There was silence there for a moment when you first opened the storage room door, but not for very long. The banging and yelling from outside returned shortly after you exited your safe space, solidifying your suspicions.

Somebody had to do something, and it wasn’t like there was anyone else around here other than you.

“What are you doing?” you whisper-yelled, unlatching the padlock and yanking the chain away from the door to peek outside, finding a lanky male standing there in a cold sweat. It didn’t make any sense.

What kind of person just stood around and waited for death?

Columbus jumped at your intrusion, shocked that you were even there in the first place. After all, he hadn’t exactly been expecting you.

There were no signs of outside life to be seen, which you had done very much on purpose.

The less attention you drew to yourself, the better.

Evidently, he had been trying to get in but it wasn’t until you opened the door that that plan actually started to seem like a viable option. Especially because in his attempt to get in, Columbus had drawn a bit of attention.

“Hi, I’m Columbus. Can I come in?” he tried, leaning against the side of the building in an attempt to get as close to safety as he could, without intruding on your space.

You didn’t look super dangerous, outright, but that didn’t mean anything in this world.

You could have been just as dangerous as anyone else, adn to be fair, you were thinking the same thing about him.

Of course, you weren’t overly thrilled at the idea of letting anyone in, not that Columbus could blame you. There was no reason you should have trusted him and stuck your neck out for a stranger.

Though, just when he thought you’d close the door and leave him there to an inevitable death, you opened the door just enough for him to slide past you into the gas station.

The room was quiet for a second as the male settled against the checkout counter, trying to catch his breath while you focused more on relatching the doors. It might not have done much against a huge horde of the dead, but it was better than nothing.

At least, it gave you some peace of mind.

“Who are you?” he asked, the first to speak between the two of you once you turned around, seemingly content with the state of your security.

If you turned off the generator and everything inside, eventually the Z’s would get bored and leave this place alone, just like they always did.

You were understandably guarded at the appearance of a stranger but you couldn’t help but be slightly offended at his question.

Who were you?

You were the only person who had been here since the start of this, and you were the person that just saved his life.

If anyone got to ask any questions, it was you.

“Why should I tell you?” you countered, crossing your arms without hesitation.

You weren’t armed, like he was and if he wanted to kill you, they certainly could have. However, he didn’t seem to be all that aggressive in nature, and you didn’t see him as a threat.

If anything, he was just being cautious, something you could respect.

Besides, you had no reason to be afraid of him. In a world like this one, you never expected to live one day to the next and you weren’t afraid of dying anymore. You weren’t really afraid of anything, within these walls.

You had lived this long, and you weren't about to get taken out by some random guy who looked like a strong gust of wind could take him down.

There was a lot more you still had to do.

“I just figured we could get to know each other. I told you my name” he shrugged, not entirely sure what the big deal was.

Sure, you may have wanted to keep your distance from people on the outside but if you were sticking to that, you would have left him out there.

You sort of agreed to smalltalk when you opened that door.

“It’s Y/N” you sighed, finding yourself far less inspired to keep doing this as the minutes ticked by. Clearly you weren’t going to get out of this whole thing without having at least one conversation.

There was no reason for this whole thing to go bad if it didn’t have to.

Besides, you both seemed to be perfectly reasonable people. It wasn’t like a couple of words shared could be any more life-or-death than anything else.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you” Columbus hummed, offering a hand to you which you took slowly, still not sure what you were supposed to feel about him.

This whole thing was just really weird.

“How long have you been here?” he asked, fully aware that he was talking too much but not caring enough to keep himself from doing it. It was obvious you’d been holding up here for a while, and you seemed to be all alone.

Which was strange.

Columbus had been alone for a while himself, of course, but he didn’t think a lot of other people were around doing the same.

“I’m not exactly sure. The whole time?” you shrugged, thinking back to those early days when you realized that something was wrong. The news outlets and internet were exploding, but you didn’t know what to do.

Locking yourself in the storage room seemed to be the best option you had, and while it wasn’t ideal, it had kept you alive this long.

“Wow, you’ve been alone that long?”

Columbus spoke in a way that made you realize just how upset about it you should have been. You weren’t dead, that much was true, but you hadn’t exactly been living all these months either.

All you did was get up, eat something packed full of preservatives and wrapped in plastic, and then sit around for a few hours before it was time to do it again.

It was no life of value, something that the male in front of you surely understood. After all, he hadn’t done a lot in this time either but at least he’d done some exploring, and had seen some things.

It had to have been better than being locked up in the dark all the time.

“Yeah, I guess I have” you sighed, deciding that it was no big deal even if it was. You did what you had to do in order to survive, and that was just what it was.

Still, there was something about it that really stuck with Columbus and while it might not have been the best idea, he knew what he had to do.

There was no way they were going to leave you here, anyway.

“Well, not anymore. You can come with me, if you want” he offered, the words meant to be more of a question than they were, but you didn’t really mind.

As you’d already decided, being alone wasn’t going to work forever.

The best chance you had at surviving and living a life worth anything would be if you accepted his offer.

It was either go him or get back into the storage room and do what you were doing before. He may not have been what you would have wanted as far as company but they were better than the rats.

You had really underestimated how lonely it was, being alone all this time.

There weren’t that many more people left alive anymore, and sticking together didn’t seem like too bad a deal.

You had definitely done worse since this whole thing came about.

...and it wasn’t lost on you that there was a lot of bad out there, and being in here had kept you from it.

You had no idea what you were dealing with, not like he did.

“Yeah, okay. I guess we should probably pack a bag and get out of here” you decided, finding yourself more and more unwilling to stay here as the minutes passed.

In all the months that you’d been here, it had been a big deal but now that you weren’t alone, you felt like you were suffocating.

You had to get out of here, and you definitely needed Columbus to help you do that. After all, he knew a lot more about this than you did, and you were sure that there was quite a bit he had to tell you.

There were plenty of rules Columbus had, and it was going to take some time to learn them.

Thankfully, you had all the time in the world and a new companion to spend it with.

“You okay?” Columbus checked, catching the way you faltered as you tried to cross the threshold of the convenience store.

It had just been so long since you had set foot outside and you weren’t entirely thrilled at the idea of having to do something so out of your comfort zone. Still, you knew what you had to do.

Columbus was right.

You couldn’t just stay here.

If you did stay, there was no telling what kind of person could stumble across this place, and there was no guarantee that they would be as friendly and non threatening as Columbus was.

You had no way to know that you weren’t in danger.

It wasn’t uncommon for other survivors to move through here pretty often, looking for supplies, and while the padlock was a good option to keep out the dead, it wouldn’t be so effective against other living people.

You knew that you had to go, as uneasy as it made you.

“Yeah, just a little nervous” you allowed, a new honesty blooming between you and Columbus as you decided to fully trust him. If you were going to travel together, you knew that you had to trust each other.

There was no other way.

Columbus nodded, taking all the things you must have been feeling into account. He should have assumed that this would be hard for you, given the circumstances.

You were panicking, and he couldn't blame you.

He wanted you to be as comfortable as you could be during this whole thing, but you also couldn’t spend too much time out here in the open.

The more time you spent here, the more danger you were in.

“Do you think this is enough?” you hummed, digging through your bag which was now full of discarded water bottles, stale potato chips, and granola bars. All this time, you had everything you needed to survive.

What if you left and that all went away? What if you couldn’t find any other food or supplies after you moved on?

What would you do now?

“It’s enough. I promise” Columbus tried, looking around every once and a while to make sure that the two of you hadn’t been spotted by anyone else, whether that be the dead or other humans.

It was clear that you were struggling and Columbus couldn’t blame you.

Of course, you had been locked away in your storage room for all this time and it couldn’t have been easy to leave that space in favor of the unknown.

He knew what that felt like.

After all, he’d had to leave everything he knew behind when the world fell apart too. Eventually, you would adjust and living out on the road would become second nature.

You just had to give it time.

“You’re sure? Should I go get something else?” you questioned, further stalling in a desperate attempt to try and keep from having to go out there. It was pitch black outside, with no telling what was out there.

How were you supposed to be comfortable going out there without any preparation? It was horrifying.

“Y/N, do you trust me?” Columbus asked, interrupting you out of necessity, the distant groans and sounds of the dead setting alarms off in his head.

You really had to get going.

His words stopped you, giving you pause. Did you trust him? By all accounts, you barely knew him but he was the first person you’d seen around here in several months, and he was trying to help you.

In short, the answer seemed to be yes. If you could trust anyone right now, it had to be the man in front of you.

Slowly you nodded, taking the hand he offered you just as slowly, so that he could lead you out of the building fully.

There was no going back now, no matter how much your brain was trying to convince you to run.

This was terrifying.

Still, you did your best not to think about it as you let Columbus lead you out into the parking lot, where a car, his car, was parked.

“I’m going to put some gas in the car, just stay here” he suggested, putting all of your bags and supplies into the backseat before handing you the shotgun that had been slung over his shoulder.

It wouldn’t take too much time, and then you could both get out of here.

...or at least, that was the plan.

As if this situation couldn’t get any more traumatizing for you, sometime between Columbus rounding the front of the car and beginning to pump the gas, you had managed to catch the attention of a single Z, stalking toward you in the dark.

Which, naturally, made you panic.

“Ohio! What should I do?” you called, absolutely horrified. You hadn’t encountered any of these things face-to-face before and it was much more frightening up close than you could have imagined.

Not that Columbus was any more prepared, really.

“Shoot it” he suggested, hoping that you would be able to do this so that the two of you could get out of here as soon as possible. As much as he wanted to help you, he needed to get this gas first.

Where there was one, there was always more and you didn’t have time to do both.

You did as he asked, your fingers fumbling with the trigger before you finally aimed at the shambling corpse in front of you, pulling it with slight hesitation.

By some miracle, the bullet found its home between the Z’s eyes, which earned a cheerful chirp from you. You had actually done it!

“Columbus, I did it” you hummed, celebrating slightly over the small victory. You had never felt such a rush in your life and frankly, you were proud of yourself.

The man on the other side of the car, however, wasn’t nearly as willing to throw a party yet.

After all, you hadn’t learned the rules yet and until you did, he was going to have to make sure to teach you.

“Do it again! Rule number 2, you have to double tap” he called back, looking at you over the hood of the car but not bothering to join you at your side. You had already done it once and it was much harder to hit a moving Z than one that was down.

You could do this.

...and thankfully, he was right.

With the one remaining shell in the shotgun, you shot the Z in the head one more time, now putting it down for good.

Now you did it.

You had learned your first rule, and killed your first Z, all in one day. All thanks to this new stranger, who you only knew as Columbus Ohio.

#columbus ohio #zombieland #zombieland columbus #columbus x reader #columbus x ps reader #columbus x plus size reader #columbus imagine #zombieland x reader #zombieland x ps reader #zombieland x plus size reader #zombieland imagine #columbus ohio x reader #columbus ohio x ps reader #columbus ohio x plus size reader #columbus ohio imagine #Movies/shows

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80s4life · 2 years

Text

Karma’s A Bitch

Word Count: 2,853

Status: Suggested!

Ask: Hey darl! I was wondering (if it’s ok with you) if I would request a Tallahassee x reader fic? The plot can be whatever you like but if you need suggestions it could be about raiding a supermarket (and of course finding twinkies) or picking rooms in the house or something. Anyway I hope your well x

@: a lovely anon!

A/N: OOOOOHHH! We love ourselves a cowboy, don’t we? (Especially when it’s Woody)

Side-Note: There is an outfit idea below with a tag! However, what you want to wear is 100% up to you! All I did was give you an idea (and to boost everyone’s confidence since I believe any body type can pull it off beautifully!)

Fandom: Zombieland

Relationship: Tallahassee x Reader

Summary: Even if the world ends and all else fails, that doesn’t mean there is no light at the end of the tunnel. For example: living in Bill Murray’s mansion, stealing anything and everything you want without consequences, and never having to work or get up at a specific time ever again. However, there are still factors that remain the same: assholes, zombies, and assholes (again for good measure)

Warnings: language, implied smut/sexual allusions, physical fighting, arguing

Masterlist Zombieland Masterlist

Taglist: @snapessecretdiary @tangledcopperstrands

{I do not own this gif, credits go to -> @veinsandknuckles}

Kicking around a rusted tin can, you feel the urge to argue; having been so bored and angry for months now causing you to get antsy. “Maybe if your short legs could carry your ass fast enough, we might still have the car,” you smirk, knowing damn well that was going to piss him off.

“Maybe if you weren’t so busy eye-fucking me, we would still have our guns,” Tallahassee seethes, already fed up with your shit.

“Maybe if you weren’t so damn old-” you get cut off.

“I-” Columbus drags loudly, “-don’t suggest you finish that Y/N.”

“Oh no, please Columbus, this has been long overdue,” you glare directly at the back of Tallahassee’s head.

“You better watch it Midget, I’ll fuck you up. There ain’t no law holdin’ me back no more,” Tallahassee warns, but you pay no piece of mind.

“Oh, you’ll fuck me up? That’s rich coming from a miserable old man that ain’t done shit but complain. You just sit there and judge, and bitch, and moan, and groan all. Damn. Day.”

girly to pay attention to anything or even lift a fucking leaf,” Tallahassee heightens his voice to sound more feminine, the act giving way towards the end, going back to his usual raspy tone.

You don’t even know why you’re arguing with him. Maybe because it’s been so long since you’ve been able to relax, or get enough sleep, or have late night outs, or normal shit young horny people used to do in their 20s.

“I help out here more than you do! Fuck, I mean, I’ve gotten Columbus out of harms way more times than you have. Hell, I even saved your ass more times than I could count!”

“Oh you Bitch!” Tallahassee jumps at you.

You don’t hold back either, lunging for him as he tackles you to the ground, wrestling like children. Rolling around across the concrete of the old, cracked street. At some point, you think you have the upper hand, smirking at Columbus over your shoulder. Then, Tallahassee takes advantage, spinning you around, which causes you to smash your head into the ground.

“Ow!” you scream, reaching for his neck in a rage.

He blocks the attempt, grabbing your hands and pinning them above your head, his legs straddling your hips. Face red with anger, you struggle underneath his strength, unintentional heat thrumming in your core.

“Get the fuck off me, Tallahassee!”

“Not ‘til you call ‘Uncle.’”

“I ain’t callin’ shit!”

“Then I guess we’re stuck here.”

“Guys!” Columbus yells, but you pay no mind, managing to knee Tallahassee in the balls as his head leers in the direction of the scream. Groaning, he lets go in enough time for you to wiggle free, about to tackle him again.

Columbus, with his eyes peering off in the distance, “Guys! It’s our stuff! It’s the girls! Come on!”

Giving Tallahassee the stink eye, he reciprocates the gesture, but otherwise you both let up with aggravated huffs. “I’ll show you helpful, Dickhead,” you mutter loud enough for him to hear, running ahead of the group to sneak back up to a seemingly useful parked truck, the engine rumbling calmly in the distance.

Tallahassee follows closely behind, panting as he crouches beside you.

“Don’t have a heart attack on me now, I don’t feel like reviving your ass through CPR or some shit.”

“First off, fuck you. Second off, fuck you twice.”

“Ooooh, good one,” you giggle, turning back around and feeling the ghost of his breath fan against your neck, his body hovering just behind yours to catch sight of what you are looking at. You shiver unconsciously, missing the sensation.

Ignoring your tumbling thoughts, you motion for Tallahassee to go around the other side as you close in on the car. Nodding, he does as follows luckily and to your amazement. Making your way over to the front of the truck you whisper and count to three, jumping up with slight yells to see who’s in the car. Catching sight of nothing, you almost jump out of your skin when your hear another voice.

“It’s about time you guys showed up, we were about ready to just leave your asses down the street,” states Little Rock, shotgun in hand.

Wichita makes her way out of the apartment complex next, smirking devilishly as she catches sight of a confused Tallahassee. You smile too once you catch him slipping up.

“Shut up.”

“That’s all you got?” you laugh.

“Oh, give me a break, will ya?” Tallahassee groans again, peering at you desperately.

“Come on, there’s some nice houses in Beverly Hills. It’s not too far from here,” Wichita states boredly, placing her shotgun in the driver’s seat through the window while pulling out the car keys from underneath the front wheel.

“So we're a team again?” you ask exasperatedly, slightly taken aback.

She, in turn, doesn’t give you a reply, unlocking the car door and turning the ignition, “Get in,” she grits.

Snorting in disgust, you look over at Tallahassee, he seemingly having already been staring at you. You gesture in her general direction, and with a simple once over, he points to the back seat. Face dropping, you look him dead in the eyes before grabbing the door handle, only for Wichita to lock it.

“No, you two get in the back. I’m not going to listen to you two bitch.”

“Like putting us together is gonna do any good?” Tallahassee scrunches his nose.

“Listen, I don’t fucking like you too much Old Man, so get in the back before I leave you here.”

Flipping her off just in the right direction for her to catch you in the left-side mirror, you mouth ‘fuck you’ before not so gracefully hopping on the truck bed.

Columbus, after watching from afar and doing a series of stretches, jogs over and steals the passenger seat, which Wichita allows. Tallahassee and you quickly take notice to the freedom, but otherwise ignore her. For now. Little Rock sidles into the backseat with a huff, and then lays a possessive hand over the guns laced there, having scored quite a hefty amount in the neighborhood.

///

The car ride was mostly silent, somehow actually getting into a comfortable conversation with Tallahassee. He really wasn’t a bad guy once he let his ego slip, giving way to the real boy underneath. If you were going to admit one thing to yourself, it was that Tallahassee was, in fact, hot as hell, but otherwise, so was his aura, voice, demeanor, and personality. It was quite the confusing mix of emotions the man elicits, especially once you forget about him as a person and remember his bitchy and childish attitude when something he doesn’t like happens.

Jumping off the truck, Wichita makes sure that your finger was returned, an added sway in her hips as she steps directly in front of you, up to the front door.

“I’m tellin’ everyone right now, if you see me go feral on her ass, no one be surprised. I ain’t gonna put up with this ignorant behavior and using us kinda shit. You got that, Wichita?” you state, heat trickling up to your face as anger threatens to overrule her self righteous ass.

Nodding weakly, you quickly see her pissed expression soften. Perhaps she’s realized her ways and put herself in my shoes?

“Ya know, your kinda sexy when your angry,” Tallahassee giggles, whispering in your ear so no one else could hear his attempts, the scruff of his chin lightly poking at your ear lobe. Another shiver brings a coat of goosebumps up to your skin as your choice of words are quickly lost on you.

“Let’s look around,” Columbus says, having walked around some of the grand rooms at the entrance of the mansion you’d wandered into, and you almost wanted to thank him.

The mansion was beautiful despite the current environment and “living” organisms roaming the world currently. Breaking off into groups, Columbus and Little Rock walk around the first floor, Wichita walking around the opposite end of the younger two. Tallahassee started walking behind Wichita, but realizing your presence wasn’t sensed, he turned around to see you walking straight up to the second floor.

“Hey! Hey, wait Y/N!” he calls, jogging up the flight of stairs to you. “What’cha up to?”

“Well, Nosey, I was gonna go pick my bed before the Princess snatches the sweet. It’s Bill Murray’s place after all, and I want the best room in the house before I get stuck with a shitty ass mattress. I deserve it.”

“Well, in that case, so am I. If you think I’m gonna sleep on the couch, you best be mistaken.”

“Whatever Tallahassee,” you mutter, smirking as you could see through his cover-up, leaving the conversation for another time.

Catching sight of the very obvious Master Bedroom, you have a split second to glance at Tallahassee before he’s ttrying to shove you out of the way. Easily, you gather yourself back up and go to push him over this time, and with success, he grabs your ankles to pull you down with him. “Dammit!” you grunt, trying to kick at him as he pulls you towards his body on the floor. “C’mon Tallahassee!”

“I ain’t lettin’ you get it that easily, you call dibs like a proper adult!” he states, pulling your body flush underneath his chest, back squished against the floor as he uses you as padding on his stomach.

“This is childish!” you scream in aggravation, pushing at his face as he threatens to crush you.

“What’s childish is not letting the mature adults have the most comfort!” he is temporarily blinded by your insistent hands.

“Why? So you could die quicker and leave the younger people to sleep painfully as we do the work for you?”

“Oh would you quick pickin’ on my age?! I ain’t that old and still limber enough to bash your ass!”

Heat pools at you inner areas again, causing a blush to quickly flush up at your cheeks. Coughing in an attempt to clear your thoughts, Tallahassee takes the unintentional distraction as an advantage, pushing you on the ground and keeping you there until he is back on his feet and running away.

Scrambling back to your feet, you run after him again, but it’s too late. He’s already opened the door, and made a show at flopping on the bed as you reach the entrance. Groaning, you almost cry in frustration, looking him dead in the eye with his smug grin.

“I win.”

“Yeah... You win,” you say, turning back around and closing the door lightly, not rising any suspicion. If you would’ve slammed it, he would’ve chased back after you, and all you wanted to do was be alone.

Moping around, you find another room, not entirely as huge as Murray’s room, but it was quite spacious, earning you somewhat of a grateful smile as you drop your bag. Exhausted, you allow yourself the reward of kicking off your tennis sneakers, checking some drawers and scoring pajamas.

With your luck finally turning up, you giggle and jump around just a little bit, pulling out comfy shorts with an adjustable tie and pockets, clean underwear, a sports bra that was just about your size, and a breezy tank top that was open at the sides; the outfit overall providing comfort and a breeziness under the hot California sun. (x)

Placing the outfit on the bed and continuing to mosey about, you spot a Walkman, a choice of gold plated headphones and earbuds, and score your own private bathroom. Smiling happily now, you turn the shower handle to check, hot water pouring out of the shower head and cascading onto the huge granite tub. Taking your time, you take a long, hot shower, basking in a long awaited cleansing with your earbuds in.

After what felt like years, your skin was beat red and warm, fingers shriveled from the moisture and condensation floating about in the bathroom. It had been so long since you were able to enjoy little things like these; being able to just live.

Humming to yourself, you mutter the words to the old rock song as you play around with your hair, placing it into whatever was the most comfortable now that it was clean and somewhat manageable. Caught up with the newest rhythm, you miss the presence of someone other than your own, turning away from the bedroom door in order to strip your towel and gather your undergarments. Pulling on your underwear, you pull the bra over your head, slip your arms through, and then adjust your shorts around your hips.

Finally turning around, you flinch so hard, blood running cold, and eliciting an ear shattering scream. “Tallahassee! You- You- Get out!”

Tallahassee, still dumbfounded, stares in awe before a startled smirk adds to his face, laughing harshly as he lets himself out slowly, stealing one last glance before closing the door with a soft click.

Your heartbeat pumps loudly in your ears, shock still causing you to stand stock-still for another 10 minutes. Easing out of your embarrassment “gracefully,” you hurriedly pull on your shirt before begrudgingly opening the door back up again. There, Tallahassee stands with his legs crossed, arms folded, leaning up against the copper rails in the hallway just across your room.

Smirking at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes, Tallahassee acts as if nothing happened, “I just wanted to swing by and ask you how you’re settling in.”

“S-So you were worried about me?” you smirk, still flaring with a beat red face full of regret and stupidity.

“Something like that,” Tallahassee admits, letting his focus shift to your clothes, absentmindedly licking his lips on occasion.

“Like what you see?” you giggle, crossing your arms as he straightens back up on his feet.

“Yes, actually, I do, but that’s not why I’m here.”

“Then why are you here, T?”

“I gotta ask you somethin’... Why...” he clears his throat, “Why d’ya hate me?” he finishes the question, looking at his feet for distraction.

You sigh, “I don’t hate you Tallahassee, you hate me. The only thing I dislike is your ego, kind of.”

“I never hated you, Kid, I just didn’t know how to properly live with a young broad like you. And, what did you mean ‘Kind of?’”

“Well, your ego both frustrates and attracts me, to say the least. Your not a total Dickhead,” you smile, “What did you mean by ‘Young broad like yourself?’”

Edging closer to you, Tallahassee breath fans your face, calloused hands coming to rest on your bare hips. “What I meant was a strong, independent woman that constantly makes me run for my money and keeps me hoping for a better future.”

“So...What you’re saying is that you like me just a little bit,” you beam.

“Maybe just a little bit,” Tallahassee chuckles, pulling your body closer, “Do ya like me a little bit?”

“Hell yeah,” you pull him closer to you, closing the gap between yourselves, attaching your lips to his.

Eagerly, he kisses you back fully, hands going up to cup the base of your skull, groaning into the kiss as he tries to gather you up in his arms, not wanting you to separate from him. Passionately, you pull him closer, subconsciously grinding with extra friction.

Apparently, with your mouths and bodies preoccupied, you miss just how loud you were becoming, still in the nakedness of the outside world. Your attention finally refocuses with loud gagging noises and a shrill shriek. Columbus quickly covers his mouth, embarrassing himself in front of everyone, avoiding eye contact with Wichita.

Little Rock, unfazed by the projection of intimacy, she bluntly states, “If you guys want to fuck, do it in private! No one gives a shit what you do, just do it away from everyone else!” she bellows from the foyer.

“And quietly!” Wichita adds with a playful smile, waving you off as she goes back to the indoor theater, bucket of popcorn in hand.

Columbus and Little Rock follow her in tow quickly, leaving you to your own activities. Chuckling again, Tallahassee looks down at you with a naughty swirl in his clear ocean blues, “I’ll show you old, Babygirl.” Without another word, he hefts you up and unto his hips, your legs locking just above his ass, and leading you into your bedroom. With a loud slam and a small click of the lock, he throws you onto your bed. I guess the guest bedroom was better than Bill Murray’s.

#Tallahassee #tallahassee imagine #tallahassee x reader #tallahassee zombieland #woody harrelson #woody harrelson imagine #woody harrelson x reader #zombieland #zombieland x reader #zombieland imagine

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