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autismserenity · 1 month

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A Chabad synagogue in Pomona, New York, burned to the ground on April 17th, along with its three Torah scrolls.

Torah scrolls are hand-written, hand-made, and kept in elaborately decorated cases or wrappings.

Many of them have long histories; my synagogue has two, I think, that were smuggled out of villages being destroyed in pogroms or in Nazi attacks. One of them is the only remaining piece of that village on earth.

Sometimes, the Torah scroll doesn't even belong to the synagogue, but is on loan from a place like the Memorial Scrolls Trust:

There's an entire Jewish holiday just for taking them out and dancing with them: Simchat Torah, "The Joy of Torah."

In fact, that was the holiday on which Hamas's invasion took place.

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So it's a particular tragedy when a Torah is destroyed.

Chabad itself has a page about what goes into making just one Torah scroll:

"An authentic Torah scroll is a mind-boggling masterpiece of labor and skill. Comprising between 62 and 84 sheets of parchment -- cured, tanned, scraped and prepared according to exacting Torah law specifications -- and containing exactly 304,805 letters, the resulting handwritten scroll takes many months to complete.

"An expert pious scribe carefully inks each letter with a feather quill, under the intricate calligraphic guidelines of Ktav Ashurit (Ashurite Script). The sheets of parchment are then sewn together with sinews to form one long scroll. While most Torah scrolls stand around two feet in height and weigh 20-25 pounds, some are huge and quite heavy, while others are doll-sized and lightweight."

I learned all of this on Tumblr.

Once upon time, in people's "punch Nazis" days, I would've been able to find some mention on Tumblr of this synagogue burning.

There is none, so I'm posting about it.

And I'm going to quote Daniel Weiner, Rabbi of Temple de Hirsch Sinai in Bellevue, Washington, when his own synagogue was vandalized last November:

"It’s horrific and heartbreaking.... [Taking out your feelings about] what's going on in the Middle East by defacing a sacred space of a synagogue -- that’s the very definition of antisemitism."

I'm also posting about the Kehillat Shaarei Torah Synagogue in Toronto, whose windows were broken on Friday, April 19th, by someone who also tried to break the front door down.

And the April 15 graffiti outside a Bangor, Maine synagogue that said, "Nazi Israel 30K murdered," next to a crossed-out Star of David. The same synagogue faced pro-Hamas flyers plastered around it in November.

I was going to include all the synagogues vandalized over the past six months. But there are way too many. Several every week. Lots are swastikas.

I'll go back to just doing attacks on and near synagogues.

Someone has to talk about the 1-year-old who was stabbed outside Temple Beth Zion-Beth Israel (BZBI) synagogue, in Philadelphia, on April 13th.

The foiled terrorist attack on a Moscow synagogue on April 11th.

The man who, on April 9th, screamed at the rabbi at Moldova's Great Synagogue, "What are you doing here? How come no one has finished you off for everything you are doing to the Palestinians?" Just one week after people had vandalized a Holocaust memorial in nearby Soroka, and sprayed "Free Palestine" on it.

The Oldenburg, Germany synagogue that was firebombed on April 5th.

The Florida Las Olas Chabad Jewish Center, which on March 16 burned, but not to the ground. The Torah scrolls were safe, and no one was hurt, but the back of the building was severely damaged.

The planned-but-thwarted-on-March-7th ISIS massacre in a Moscow synagogue.

The stabbing of an Orthodox Jew in Switzerland on March 5th. (He was badly injured, but expected to survive.)

A man leaving a synagogue in Paris was beaten on March 3rd.

People set the courtyard of a synagogue in Sfax, Tunisia on fire on February 27th. Firefighters managed to put the fire out before it consumed the inside of the building.

The synagogue is no longer used; there are no Jews left in its area, and fewer than 1,000 Jews left in Tunisia overall.

(Thousands of Tunisian Jews were sent to work camps during the Holocaust. Antisemitism across the Middle East continued to increase rapidly for decades. By the 1970s, 90% of Tunisian Jews had fled to France or Israel.)

On February 18, an Orthodox Jew leaving Synagogue of Inverrary-Chabad in Lauderhill, Florida, was beaten by an attacker yelling racial slurs.

Someone deliberately chose International Holocaust Remembrance Day, January 27, to smash all the windows in the front of Sgoolai Israel Synagogue in downtown Fredericton, New Brunswick.

On December 29, Turkey arrested 32 people linked to ISIS who were planning attacks on synagogues and churches.

On December 17, a man drove a U-Haul truck up onto the sidewalk between a barrier and the front door of the Kesher Israel Congregation in Washington D.C., got out, and started yelling "Gas the Jews." He also sprayed a foul-smelling substance on two people leaving the synagogue.

December 17 also saw 400 synagogues across the United States receive bomb threats.

On December 11, a man attacked an elderly couple on their way into a synagogue in Los Angeles, screaming, "Give me your earrings, Jew!!" and beating one of them bloody with a belt. (Happily, he chased the guy down the street, and caught him when his pants fell down.)

On December 10, a 16-year-old was arrested in Vienna for planning an attack on a synagogue.

On December 8, on the first night of Hanukkah, 15 synagogues in New York State received bomb threats. And someone screamed, "Free Palestine," and fired shots outside of Temple Israel in Albany, NY. Which has a preschool that was in session.

Meanwhile, the five Jews left in Egypt were canceling public Hanukkah candle-lighting at their synagogue out of fear of reprisals. Particularly after two Israelis in Alexandria had been gunned down by terrorists on October 8. (While Israel was still fighting Hamas in Israel.)

On November 15, a terrorist group set the only synagogue in Armenia on fire.

Armenian Secret Army for the Liberation of Armenia (ASALA) has a history of working with the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP).

(PFLP is part of Hamas's network of groups. Samidoun is their nonprofit arm - which is why Germany banned Samidoun last year, although it's still active in many other countries.

PFLP is also actively supported by the Palestinian Youth Movement (PYM), a diaspora nonprofit group, and Within Our Lifetime (WOL), an SJP spinoff in NYC.)

On November 11, halfway through Shabbat services, police asked Central Shul in Melbourne, Australia to evacuate "as a precaution" due to a "pro-Palestinian" protest that had chosen the neighboring park as its gathering place. Australia has seen some very outspoken antisemitism at protests, including the march shortly after October 7 that chanted "Gas the Jews."

Also on November 11, protesters targeted a synagogue along a march route. They sat in their cars, spraying green smoke and shouting at people leaving the synagogue. The march itself featured a record number of horrifying signs and chants.

On November 7th, Congregation Beth Tikvah in Montreal was firebombed, and the back door of the Jewish organization across the street (Federation CJA) was set on fire.

On November 4, protesters chanted "Bomb Israel," and burned an Israeli flag outside the only synagogue in Malmo, Sweden.

During October, there were 501 antisemitic acts under investigation in France in just three weeks, including groups gathering in front of synagogues shouting threats, and graffiti such as the words “killing Jews is a duty” sprayed outside a stadium.

On October 18, people firebombed a synagogue in Berlin after homes all over the neighborhood were graffitied with stars of David.

And also on October 18, hundreds of "pro-Palestine" rioters attacked the Or Zaruah Synagogue, in the Spanish enclave of Melilla in North Africa, while worshippers were inside.

Based on the video, they seem to have blocked the synagogue entrance completely, while screaming "Murderous Israel" and waving Palestinian flags. (Melilla is an autonomous zone belonging to Spain. It borders Morocco.)

On October 17, during pro-Palestinian protests, hundreds of rioters set fire to Al Hammah synagogue, an abandoned house of prayer in central Tunisia. They hammered down the building’s walls and raised a Palestinian flag on the building. Police did not intervene.

The Facebook page "Tunigate", which has around 88 thousand followers, published a video of the assault. So did "Radio Bousalem”, with 83 thousand users. The vast majority of comments on these videos welcome these acts. The building was severely damaged and almost completely razed to the ground.

On October 15, bomb threats were sent to many East Coast synagogues. Attleboro synagogue Congregation Agudas-Achim received one of the emails, which read, "The bombs will blow up in a few hours. A lot of people will die. You all deserve to die."

On October 8 -- again, while Hamas was still in Israel -- Madrid’s main synagogue was defaced with graffiti that read “Free Palestine” next to a crossed-out Star of David.

And on October 7, an assailant in Rockland, NY fired a BB gun at two women entering a synagogue. Later in the month, a banner at the Stephen Wise Free Synagogue in the area was vandalized with the words, “Fuckin kikes."

#if you have used “Free Palestine” as if it's a sort of verbal assault you can shout in comments or scribble over flyers #if you are unwilling to hear what the Jewish term Zionism means to the people who use it #if you cannot name one Palestinian human rights activist #and most of all if you don't know how Hamas abuses Palestinians and you still think it's The Resistance #then you. are. the. problem.#if you don't know people in gaza have been protesting Hamas and blaming it for deliberately instigating a war they don't want #if you don't know how often they've spoken out about Hamas stealing aid and selling it to them #and especially if you don't want to believe me much less find Palestinians in Gaza to listen to #also if you didn't know about any of the stuff in this post BUT you have taken it upon yourself to tell Jews that “it's not antisemitism”#like seriously everyone deal with your learned distrust of Jews challenge #wall of words #fire tw #guns tw #violence tw #Instagram

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 8 days

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YES! JOIN ME IN THE DELCIOUS DUNGEONS!

#ask #non mdzs #I truly cannot emphasise enough how much of a rush it is to hear that people checked out Dungeon Meshi in part due to my comics #I do imagine its a multi-factorial thing (its been everywhere lately and its been around for a decade with people singing its praises)#I am going to get so tall by the end of season one. Thank you to everyone who reports back about getting into Dungeon Meshi.#You are making the hours spent on comics and sleepless nights worth it <3 #Also to the person who said they think this series could fix them: IT CAN.#The power of Senshi is *real*. I have learned so much self-care from the wise words of that dwarf.#It's a hard road to put yourself first when you've been taught to push yourself but woah...#“looking after your health is a greater sign of responsibility that pushing yourself to exhaustion” is a *life changing* message.#Yes I said that right after 'sleepless nights making comics'. I've been doing it less! I've been taking more breaks!

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dootznbootz · 2 months

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You can horny post and thirst for Circe and Calypso without making fun of Odysseus, a victim of both, btw. 👍

#You realize you're calling a victim a little bitch right? Do you hear yourself?#You call a man who spent every day crying about wanting to go home and who had his friends held at pig-point names?#A WHORE?!#You could literally just be like “I would love to make potions with my wife Circe” or “Beach life with my wife Calypso” but no.#You had to call the survivor names as well #I love Circe. she's morally gray af and super fun to write but I can think she's cool while knowing she terrified Odysseus.#save me morally gray circe #Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #Mad rants #odysseus #circe #calypso #odyssey #the odyssey #tagamemnon #greek mythology #epic the musical #It makes me want to eat a cactus. It's not cute to do this.#Thirst all you want. I don't care. But you don't have to mock a victim of them to do so.#tw sa mention

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starry-bi-sky · 25 days

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realizing i have. a lot of untapped trauma potential for clone^2 danny because i just Fully Processed Four Months Late the fact that his parents were capturing and torturing ghosts in the basement before he became Phantom. and the fact that he was on house rest for 2 weeks. during that time period. and he wasn't really leaving the house. he could hear their screaming through the floorboards

*points at clone danny* i can give you suuuuuuch a bad time babe ahaha. i've got two untouched years before you meet damian what fucks you up before then

#dpxdc #dp x dc #danny fenton is not the ghost king #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc crossover #dpdc #clone^2 #danny fenton is a clone #like i dont even need to traumatize you worse the pure explorative options from this aLONE is enough to feed me for a week.#like. tucks hair behind ear let me shatter you into glass pieces then glue you back together babe. i can put you back together so good.#i'm missing a few shards because some parts of you broke into such small pieces i couldn't pick them back up again so you'll be missing a #few chunks of yourself that you'll never get back but that's okay. you'll still be a resemblance of your old self :]#don't let anakin (me) listen to late night sad songs he makes angst.#hhh imagine being stuck in a house for two weeks where you can hear your parents torturing ghosts in the basement and not only that but #you're the only person who can undERSTAND the ghosts. how many times did he see his parents drag in a ghost with whatever capturing device #they made recently? iirc the thermos was like. brand new in episode one right? but gOD the trauma this alone would cause #nobody touch me im cooking rn i need to think about how this would impact danny. like obvs it would fuel into a developing obsession to #keep his parents away from ghosts and to help the dead but what *else.* i need to refine my becoming phantom ficlet i wrote back in winter #raaa #and like even after two weeks they were *still capturing ghosts* danny just wasn't in the house 24/7 at the time.#*but those two fucking weeks man*#i need to sleep on this first before i make any major moves bc i know im tired but i am having thOUGHTs

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jasontoddenthusiastt · 3 months

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The compelling thing about Jason as a character is that I never doubted that he cared about the world just because there weren’t panels of him being overly zealous about “restorative community care”

I’m not coming after anyone who wants to see that kind of stuff, but I do think seeking | that | as confirmation that Jason cares about the world is pretty narrow

#shoving an arc like that into his comics to “show he cares about people”#after having him repeatedly say things like “nothing I ever did was for good. it was all just selfish anger” in recent comics #would be the final nail in the “see! he's redeeming himself! he CAN be likable!” coffin (pathetic)#it's literally what his antis have been suggesting would make his character “so much better”#kelseethe #see also: “people would have a hard time knowing whether Jason loves them”#why did he gift Thomas' watch to Bruce all those years later + possibly even after utrh happened #why is he always silently forgiving the shitty treatment from his family almost like he wants to maintain some sort of relationship w/ them #as for “showing that he cares about the world”#the most obvious “evidence” is right there #why would he continue to fight tooth and nail to have a place in Gotham as a vigilante #both warding off and enduring harassment after harassment from Bruce while hearing the same message every time #“hey. you're doing this to yourself. you can make it all go away if you just do as I say and quit for good.”#“you'll even get to be my son again”#it’s not like he gets recognition/praise for doing what he does either unlike Bruce Dick or Tim #what could possibly be in it for him #wouldn't it be that much easier to “not give a crap about the world” on a beach in Capri instead of in the Gotham sewers every month #anyway Jason should decapitate rapists and poison more child traffickers and not cry about it five seconds after

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dyketubbo · 10 months

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not to be a woman womaning all over the place but i feel like if you genuinely like. do not have friends that are women then you have something to work on. if you cant think of any female characters that you treat the same way you do male characters then you have something to work on. if you cant handle even seeing "i dont like being called a guy/bro/lad/etc because it doesnt feel gender neutral to me" but can understand when one of your masc besties is uncomfortable with being called girlie or sister then you have something to work on. if your default in regards to how you handle other people and even characters is to assume masculinity then you have something to work on. if you cant even let women and otherwise feminine people speak about our experiences without bringing up how you suffer too then you have something to work on.

it doesnt matter if youre queer or a poc or a minority in whatever which way, if you do not include women in your life and cant even stand a fucking inch of genuine feminism (and i dont mean terfs but god is it fucking agonizing that thats all you people can think of when you hear feminism anymore) where the point is to treat women, all women, equally then you have something to work on. listen to women, even the ones whose experiences completely dont align with yours (hell ESPECIALLY the ones whose experiences completely dont align with yours). just like how we all have to check ourselves for racism, ableism, queerphobia, we all have to check ourselves for misogyny too. stop acting like it got solved at some point. it still exists and it exists within you and you have to actually fucking work on that. "women should be included in your life and you should listen to them" shouldnt be a hard goddamn pill to swallow.

#mask mews #truly i dont think if you can call yourself a feminist then thats a red flag. actually. like legit #yes fuck terfs we all fucking hate terfs but if thats all you can think of when you hear feminism youre letting them win #youre lettin the misogynistic assholes who call people 'feminazis' win. the mras the pieces of shit who treat our rights like a debate topic #and no transmascs yall are not exempt from them just because youve experienced misogyny too #i see misogyny from queer men all the time and yall need to stop acting like being a minority #prevents you from being harmful to other minorities #black men often perpetuate misogynoir. trans men often perpetuate transmisogyny. gay men often perpetuate lesbophobia #just as women can perpetuate the harmful shit against all of those groups too #we're all being shit to each other and we all need to check ourselves and im tired of people acting #like its just okay to like. exclude women from shit #its exhausting and its misogynistic and i think especially in this fandom none of you ever moved on from thinking gaming is only for men #watch yourselves. watch how you talk about women. about femininity.#how when yall talk about the annoying cis white women #its clear which of yall are annoyed about the cis white parts. and which of yall are annoyed about the woman part

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werebutch · 5 months

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So many times I’ve seen people on here be like wowww it’s so funny seeing ppl rage over vegans 😁!! ….. these people genuinely have no idea what they’re talking about. If you mention all their stuff being made of plastic they cover their ears and go lalala like they’re 5. I’m sorry but it DOES make me mad. I wish your passion for the environment could go somewhere actually useful and not to blissful ignorance and even environmental harm. -_-

#idgaf if you don’t eat meat. good for you… but if the reason you’re vegan is because of some sad baby cows and not the overall impact of #the fashion industry (etc) then you’re not seeing the big picture. and you’ll likely never WANT to see ..#different subject but I also think it’s worth noting the anthropomorphism of farm animals in advocacy for veganism. does that make sense #like the whole thing about like. imagine you’re born just to become meat and a jacket etc etc so sad so depressing. except.. animals have n #concept of that. they only know right now. they don’t think about stuff like that?….#you can’t put yourself in their place because they genuinelh don’t have the capacity to understand it like we do. it’s annoying #obviously I want livestock to be treated well. it makes me sad that abuse is rampant in an industry like this. but if you want to really #help… buy your meat from someone you KNOW treats their animals well. ?does that make sense..#this is not the garden of Eden bitch animals die. that’s not always a bad thing. hello can anyone hear me

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lesbianpegbar · 3 months

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aughhh. augh

#can anyone hear me #when you still can’t bring yourself to do or anything about what’s being done to you #but just having someone else saying hey. that isn’t okay. and being able to realize oh. you’re right it’s not #and find solace in that. waugh #skip and loafer #mine #stl spoilers

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anachronistic-falsehood · 5 months

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Ok before I answer any more asks, I feel like I need to get my full thoughts out there. This might be a bit long, but I have a lot to say.

First off: I am very impressionable. I always have been and I always will be. I am well aware of this. When people tell me things, I often believe them at face value. I’m trying to get better at that, which is why I tried to stay neutral this time around when everything first came out. Then I removed myself from the situation for a couple days, came back to it today, forgot to beat my hyper empathy into submission for ten minutes, and found myself almost believing him one hundred percent. I almost forgot about his first response, where he lashed out and threatened to sue people over this. I also tend not to focus on situations like this often because it’s really bad for my POCD. I am bad at this. I need to preface this post by saying that.

I don’t support Forever anymore. I can’t, not after everything that’s happened over the past few days, especially after seeing his original reaction, which was to get mad and threaten to sue and to brush it all off as just twitter drama. And he still brushed it all off as twitter drama in this most recent stream. He didn’t even acknowledge how old the alleged victim was, which means a lot of people who only knew of this through his streams don’t know that he flirted with multiple girls as young as 13. He said it was just jokes, but he did privately message at least one of these girls and meet her in real life, even if it was within a group of people. Things can happen even within a crowd.

There had to have been more things that happened behind the scenes for all of his friends to suddenly drop him. Whether it was some kind of proof that he was aware this was wrong as he did it, or if he lashed out at the other ccs for initially unfollowing him when this all came out, I don’t know. But he handled this very immaturely in his first response without even looking into the issue, and I don’t feel right supporting him anymore.

Still, and hate me for this if you want, I can’t help but sympathize with him a little bit. I know, I know, but I was a shitty person when I was a teenager, and I’m constantly paranoid that things I’ve done or said will stick with me forever or come back around to bite me in the ass. Hell, I have done and said things when I was 17 that would get me dogpiled on twitter if I was a cc. I do understand why he was upset. Knowing that he has mental health issues because of repeated twitter hate mobs does make me feel sorry for him in that regard. Just because being exposed for past actions may have been deserved this time doesn’t mean that excessive hate was deserved every single time, nor is it deserved for every cc who has fucked up in the past.

However, he was very immature with his initial response, and him pushing this off as just a twitter cancellation is enough to tell me that he does not quite see that he was in the wrong. He keeps saying that he’s matured and that he’s better now, as if that alone is supposed to absolve him of any kind of responsibility. I think he handled this wrong, and I don’t want to support him anymore.

As for q!Forever, I know he has a lot of similarities to the cc. That will be too hard to look past for a lot of people, and if you don’t want to engage in content that includes him anymore, that’s well within your rights. I still love q!Forever despite that, and I personally will still consume content that includes him, and I don’t want to write him out of the story of the smp. We can do the same thing we did for c!Dream and basically adopt him as our own oc. q!Forever can be our character now if we want him to be, and we can still acknowledge that Forever put a lot of work and thought into his character and appreciate what he did for the smp while not supporting him as a creator anymore.

And finally, I also don’t like the way that this entire situation was handled in general by the fanbase. The person who did this (as far as I’m aware) was dedicated to going after ccs for generally trivial things. If they wanted justice for this, why not bring it up before now? Why not before he joined the smp? And the victim didn’t want any part in this as far as I know, and yet people went after her demanding comments on the situation. Twitter kept celebrating the ccs dropping Forever like it was some fun party, just like people have been doing for the whole Dream situation. Twitter hasn’t handled this with any sort of tact whatsoever, and many of us here on tumblr (myself included) have been more invested in arguing and over correcting our own actions and phrasing when some biased people bring up invalid points to actually step back and take a break.

We’ve all been on the defence from each other. People on here have criticized each other’s views, invalidated other people’s experiences, and thrown insults and names at each other like this is a playground fight instead of a serious situation. The situation is over. Let’s just breathe.

#forever situation #qsmp #you guys can come into my inbox if you want to talk about all this yourself!!#can’t guarantee I’ll have any more comments to make #my intrusive thoughts are killing me right now and i feel like shit but i would love to hear from the rest of you #we’re in this together u guys

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mylittleredgirl · 10 months

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so one of my skills in life is that i test very well, largely because of pattern recognition, and i realized today that it’s pretty detrimental to the medical evaluation process. i basically scored perfect on a hearing test today that ruled out some diagnoses, and i am only now going back over the process in my mind and realizing that i didn’t actually hear a bunch of stuff i said i did, i just knew the right answer because the pattern of words and beeps was a consistent speed and pattern and they told me in advance what words they were going to use so like? yeah?? of course i knew when to raise my hand and could figure out what word you were saying? anyway i got an A in hearing which is normal to want yet perhaps detrimental to achieve.

and i can’t really call them and go “sorry i think i outsmarted your test, like a dumbass” so if i notice my hearing getting worse i’ll call them back and get re-tested, and bring someone with me to be like “your goal is not to pass the test. repeat after me. your goal is not to pass the test.”

#i just like to ✨ impress people ✨ by getting all the answers right #and i can’t seem to turn that part of my personality off. fuck me. anyway #i havé à bunch of people in my life with hearing loss tho so i know that my hearing IS pretty good #and none of the stuff they discounted based on the test had cures anyway soooo no big loss #this poor woman like yeah tinnitus can be caused by literally anything and there’s nothing you can do about it #it might seem to go away but it’ll definitely come back and will continue to suck even though we don’t know what caused it. sorry #try not to stab yourself in the ear i guess #what a professional specialty to have man i feel for her #the symptoms

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fuckyeah-bears · 1 year

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literally exerting sooo much self control and impulse control not to snap back at idiots replying stupid shit on my posts. people are annoying as fuck sometimes. like if you have 'commentary' about how i interact with shit and answer asks, you can literally fuck off. i spend absurd amounts of time trying to be nice and provide specific bears and nice replies to people at their request. and then the one time i get slightly irritated people freak the fuck out and start lecturing me about being 'unprofessional' and 'rude' and 'obnoxious' like im sorry but fuck all the way off. this is fucking tumblr. nothing about tumblr is professional. i don't have to provide y'all with bears. i don't have to make a pinned post to explain myself. newsflash, i already have a pinned post that i'm rather fond of. i don't have to act or respond to things any kind of way. i choose to respond kindly with nice encouraging messages and provide bears, and spend ridiculous amounts of time looking up specific requested bears for people. i choose to do that because i want to make people happy and spread some positivity. i choose to do that because this world is shit as fuck sometimes and i want to create a little space free from drama and negativity where people can enjoy bears and get a little reprieve from this shit ass world and the bullshit of life. i choose to do all that because i want to. but heaven forbid i'm not in the mood 100% of the time to always be perfectly nice and happy and go-lucky. and then i get shits giving me crap over it like i'm somehow obligated to do all this shit for free and always respond exactly the way they desire me to. and it is pissing me the fuck off. because i genuinely put so much effort into bearotonin and trying to make other peoples' lives better in this one tiny small way. i have a life y'all. i have a job and school and an actual adult life with responsibilities. but i choose to do this because i love bears and i think bearotonin is hilarious and making people happy is something that makes me happy. but i don't owe anyone anything, and if you have complaints about the way i comport myself or respond to messages or posts i make, well you can fuck off. i don't want to hear it. you don't need to reblog my posts and tag them with little messages about how you disagree, or write replies/comments saying i should act better or should be expecting this, or send me stupid asks. you can literally keep your negative thoughts to yourself. because people need to fucking realize that your tags are not private. if you put them on a post, the op is going to see them. and in this case, the op is going to be super pissed off by them.

to be clear, 99% of people are awesome and super nice and i love y'all dearly (and this post is absolutely not about you in any way), but the other 1% are really getting on my fucking nerves right now and it is taking a lot of effort to not engage with them directly and tell them to fuck off to their faces

#so yeah i'm vague posting instead #whatever #sorry not sorry for the rant #but this bullshit lately is so insanely annoying #and i'm allowed to be annoyed over it #because i have crap going on in my real life #and i come on tumblr FOR FUN #so it should be fun #not full of pointless dumb drama #i don't care if you're angry or confused about why i say things. just keep it to yourself #i genuinely do not want to see it right now #maybe in like 2 weeks or whatever when i've calmed the fuck down i will engage but right now i'm pissed enough that #unless it's something entirely neutral or positive #i genuinely do not want to hear it #no constructive criticism or helpful suggestion shit #i'm not interested #these are my fucking blogs and if you don't like the way i run them then you can literally unfollow #simple as that #okay i'm done ranting now #sorry to all of y'all who are lovely and kind #you know this post is absolutely not about you at all #not bears #just a rant #bearotonin rants

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quietwingsinthesky · 2 months

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Hiiiii! So, a few days ago you were talking about the whole thing with Amy, Rory, and River. And when I saw those posts a thought arose in my head and I wish to share it with you.

Since River grew up with Amy and Rory as Mels. And Mels was Amy's best friend do you think that they ever talked about children? Since I know that it can come up when talking with friends, and like... do you think that Amy might've ever expressed whether or not she wanted children?

And if she didn't, that Mels would've had to listen to her mother say that she doesn't want children? The idea is so heartbreaking and sooo interesting.

What do you think about it?

no, no, see, you're so right and this drives me wild.

because, the way i see it, i don't think amy wanted children. she's somewhere on the 'hasn't thought about it' to 'vaguely negative feelings about it happening' range to me, which falls sharply into 'Not Happening Ever Again' post-s6. (specifically, in terms of having a kid herself, even if she could, i really don't think she would. i do love that she and rory end up adopting a kid later, because that does make sense, for amy pond who grew up alone in one universe with her family swallowed by cracks in time before the doctor helped her set it right again, for her to want to make sure another child won't be alone in the world like she was. getting off-track here.)

and that's so. because the first real memory river/mels has of amy is of amy shooting at her. and depending on how well the silence fucked up the rest of her memory, it might be one of the very first memories she has at all. that's how she met her mother, crying for help and getting a bullet instead. her mother tried to kill her, so of course, you have to think. she must have needed to hear that she was wanted, right? even if she was taken away, even if amy shot her, at some point, melody must have been wanted?

river is good at getting people to do what she wants, but she is very, very bad at subtlety. and mels is younger, has less practice, so when she wants to know this, she's just going to ask. blunt and quick, easy enough because amy's used to the way mels will open her mouth and you just have to be ready to roll with what comes out if you want to keep up. it's why they're such good friends (like mother, like daughter.)

they're nine, and mels asks if amy wants kids, and amy wrinkles up her nose and says she won't have time for children, obviously, once her raggedy doctor finally comes back. they're fifteen, and amy and rory dance will they-won't they in a way that makes mels twitchy to watch, and taunting amy about wanting to have rory's babies is a good way to get on her nerves. but amy calls her gross, tells her she's got more life planned than children would leave room for, and besides, imagine her, a mom? it'd be a disaster.

mels does. a lot. she looks at her mother and just sees her best friend instead. she's not even sure what she wishes was there, but. maybe amy's right. and besides. imagine her, a daughter, instead of the ticking time bomb she really is? it'd be a disaster.

they're sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, and on. mels stands on the outside of a love story that births a universe. and her. how do you compete with that? not that she would know, not yet, she hasn't been there. but it doesn't make her feel any less alienated when amy and rory talk in whispers about a half-remembered world that's bled through to this life, about roman soldiers and boxes and the big bang of belief.

all these memories, they never mention children. on amy's wedding day, she's different, not like someone remembering a dream but someone who lived it. rory stands straighter, won't leave her side, and they're both so much older than they were yesterday. maybe now, right? a wedding's as good a time as any to decide you want kids.

mels not being at amy & rory's wedding is such an obvious lazy way of them trying to explain why they totally didn't just throw this plot twist together at the last minute that i'm not even going to acknowledge it. of course she was at their wedding. she's their best friend. there's too many people around the doctor, and she wasn't ready today of all days, so despite this horrible burning need under her skin to strike, she stays her hand. doesn't let him dance with her because she might just tear his throat out if he gets too close. stays with amy and rory as the maid of honor should. she must have been there for the awkward questions that always gets asked, 'so, any plans for a baby?' 'when am i getting grandkids?' 'oh, you two are going to have gorgeous children together.' standing a few feet from amy in her wedding dress and watching her mother tense and grit her teeth and brush off the questions. watching her look nervously at rory but never ask if he means it when his mom asks him if he'd prefer a son or a daughter, and rory answers 'either one, some day, not anytime soon.'

god i'm just going on and on, aren't i. but really, what's it like to know that amy never changed her mind. the next time she sees them, she's already been born and stolen. i don't like let's kill hitler for. so many reasons. but there is something compelling about how recklessly river lashes out at the world, at the doctor. even her sacrifice at the end is almost suicidal, throwing all her regenerations into this man without knowing if that will even work or if it might kill her to do it. but it makes more sense in the context of someone who has reached the end of a long, long wait for some kind of indication, any kind, that her mother wanted to have her. and finally been told, no. she didn't choose melody.

#like. to be clear also: i don't think the fact that amy didn't want kids and really didn't have a choice in giving birth to river #means that she wouldn't love river. i think it would make their relationship Complicated but i do think amy loves her. so much.#that's her daughter but it's also her best friend.#but like. god. to spend your whole childhood hoping you'll hear about some little glimmer of yourself.#a dream. a passing mention. a debate on baby names. anything. and to hear nothing.#and river is. like. she is really really bad at relationships right? we know this.#the person she's closest to is the doctor and she spends most of her life believing *he doesn't even love her*.#we're talking about someone whose base assumption about everyone is that they will try to hurt her at some point so she should always keep #one hand armed.#and her mother. didn't choose to have her. didn't have that choice. that has to fuck her up a little.#(and also serve as proof that river is. so so bad at knowing when she is loved. because maybe amy didn't choose to have her but she named #melody pond after mels her best friend. she has been choosing river every day for the past however many years since mels decided to come #here and be near her mom and dad even if only as kids. but river still can't see it.#and. given the nature of how the ponds disappear from her life. and we never get any closure about them and river.#you have to wonder if she ever did. river song do you know your mother loves you?#having the melody-as-river reveal be so close to the end of the season and then getting rid of amy & rory before they can actually do #anything with the three of them as a messed up little family unit is the show's biggest crime. because i don't know! i don't know if river #knew her parents loved her! i don't know if she *ever* came to terms with how she was born and how they didn't need to choose her then to #choose her now! i don't know if river ever really felt comfortable thinking of them as her parents rather than her friends?#according to the transcripts. river calls amy 'mother' twice. (and 'mummy' once jokingly.) she calls rory 'father' once. and 'dad' in angel #in manhattan. and it just. it drives insane right? it's almost weirdly formal. like the words aren't right but she knows she should say the #and. and. i don't think i'm ever going to get over river song.#i think that's the takeaway here.#ask #doctor who #river song #amy pond #rory williams

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author-main · 2 months

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I'm still thinking about it, but if you hate a trope so much that you're just waiting to bash it why don't you just make your own shit instead.

#like am i crazy #because i dont just complain about the shit i dont like #we can be creative have you ever thought about that?#have you ever thought about being creative and making the thing YOU want?#Instead of bashing others' things because its not what you want?#whats that old saying?#'if you want something done right you have to do it yourself'#i hear the same complaints every year and yall dont do shit about it #so i dont care about your crying really. i think youre annoying.

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talaricula · 2 years

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i think one of the reasons why i'm so touched by jess is that, while it's easy to read her as naive about how homophobic the world is, her open queerness and butchness is clearly a conscious choice.

sure, according to kelly's backstory, they grew up relatively (for the time period) privileged wrt their queerness, and there's her obvious bewildered distress at the fact that, when she arrives in the US, people actually get to force her to act like something she's not

but she's also clearly not stupid! she clearly knows how unsafe it is to be obviously queer. when they buy boxers, they know to hold on to the excuse that they are for their brothers. she doesn't out carson and greta to anyone, not even to lupe, who's also queer, with whom she's clearly very close, and with whom she clearly spends a lot of time talking about being queer and other queer women - she understands and respects the reasons behind their choice to keep it all absolutely secret. when jo is arrested and traded out, jess (and lupe) look upset in a way that very clearly reads as "this could have been us, if we'd been there is would have been us (bc they, like jo, don't have the femme plausible deniability and would easily be picked out of the crowd by the cops), maybe it should have been been us because without us jo wouldn't have known about the bar". she knows, intimately, which risks she faces.

and yet they present the way they do. maybe it is bc she grew up in moose jaw, canada, but more than any of the others she has internalised that it's not right that the world is like this. that doesn't mean they pretend the world isn't like it is, but they do act on the fact that they think it shouldn't be. she has a modicum of self-preservation, so she takes basic safety precautions, but she clearly very strongly feels that if the world has a problem with her, that's their problem to change, not hers. that solidness of belief informs so much about jess as a character, and it means so much to me. it's not naivety, it's on purpose.

#jess mccready #aloto #aloto spoilers #i grew up genuinely relatively privileged in all the ways i was weird #incl my queernes #my family was about as supportive as anyone with a cishet family can hope for #they legitimately had no problem with the fact that i was weird and different in many ways #but they did have the mrs toni attitude - it's not a problem that you're like this but why don't you protect yourself by toning it down!#both my sister and father often asked me 'aren't you /aware/ of what people think about you?'#and they still think i'm not - that i'm just naive and can't see it #But i do! i can! it's just not /my problem/ it's theirs!#i hear the insults i hear the gossip i see the glares i hear the mocking laughs #i have since i was eight #i am not actually unobservant or naive or lying to myself! it's not about that!#it takes too much effort to change it or tone it down and i don't see why it should be on me!#it's not right that it should be on me! it should be on the world!#sure it would be hard to change myself and that's part of it but i also just legitimately deeply believe i shouldn't /have to/!#and sure i get to /act/ on that belief bc i am privileged in many ways and got to get used to that and the risk is smaller than for most #but those things do go hand in hand a bit i think #and seeing that in jess was - it got me somewhere very fundamental #not to be a broken record but - it's got smth of the autism spectrum queer experiences

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