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#you can have my back any day. or you know. you could have mine.
wosoamazing · 3 days
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Newest Signing
Part 1 - Fire on Fire Series A/N: This is the first part of my new Leah Series, I have already started writing and planing parts of it but if you have any ideas let me know and I will try and include them.
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Leah sat on her phone scrolling through various social media platforms, it hurt to see so many other people happy, with their partners when she wasn't, she had never had a successful relationship, to her no one was right, no one was the right match, she didn't feel like they clicked. So many of her exes told her that she had 'too high standards' or that 'soulmates don't exist' or something along the lines of 'you aren't perfect so why do you expect someone else to be perfect'. However she wasn't looking for a soulmate, she wasn't looking for someone perfect, she was just looking for the someone who was perfect for her.
She had started to think that maybe she was just asking for too much, and that her standards were too high, but that was until the day Jonas introduced the team to Arsenal's newest signing.
"Girls this is Y/N Y/L/N, she is our newest signing, and yes she did sign outside of the transfer window as approved by the FA due to issues at her old club, but no further questions on that please. She isn't going to be fully joining training until our Portugal training camp, just so she has some time to settle in but also a well deserved break, but you will see her in the gym and around the place, so please make her feel welcome. I think she is going to be really great for the team."
Her eye's immediately connected with the brunettes, she was tall and muscular, her face held the dreamiest blue eyes, and her smile was perfect, she continued watching the girl as she hugged Stina, the way her hair flowed, her body flowed, it was safe to say Leah was mesmerised.
"Stop staring, you creep" McCabe whispered in Leah's ear, causing her to break from her trance, giving the Irish women a playful smack on the shoulder. "I'm going to the gym," she said as she stood up and headed out, everyone around her making eyes at each other.
_____
You walked into the locker room behind Jonas and as he introduced you to the team, a certain blonde's eyes connected with yours, you couldn't help but notice the small smile her lips created when she saw you, but you quickly diverted your gaze to your best friend. Walking up to her and hugging her.
"I'm glad they let you sign out of the transfer window," Stina said, sounding relieved as she released the hug, "yeah I was worried they wouldn't but once I explained to the FA what was happening they were horrified and told me they would reach out to whatever club I wanted to, within reason, and see if they would sign me. Apparently there are going to be investigations."
"Good, they shouldn't be doing that. But where are you staying? You can crash at mine until you find a place if you need."
"Thank you, but I'm all good, Moster and Tante said I could stay with them, as they are in Paris for the next however long, however it was more a non-negotiable, I think they also meant I was going to be staying when they came back, again non-negotiable, but I'll see."
You and Stina continued talking until it was time for the girls to go to their meeting. You had an appointment with one of the physios just so they could check your range of motion and get some base lines in case you were to injure yourself before your first fitness testing session. As you walked into the gym, you saw a certain blonde in the corner, working away at some exercises which must've been set for her. As you worked with the physio completing the activities and exercises he wanted you to do you couldn't help but notice the way the blonde kept glancing over to you, almost as if she wanted to talk to you.
_____
You sat down at a table with Stina and Frida, Caitlin joined you and wanted to catch up with you and also trying to help you integrate with the team more easily, Caitlin's presence meant that Katie and then consequently Beth sat with you too. You knew the Aussies already due to having spent most of your childhood and your very early twenties in Australia, due to your Tante's work.
"Steph," you called out as you saw the very flustered Aussie walk into the dinning hall, she turned her head around to you, just about every emotion passing through her face.
"Y/N?" she questioned as she walked towards you, "what are you doing here?"
"Well if you weren't late you would've been here when Jonas said I was transferring here," you weren't normally one to say anything about your teammates being late, especially new teammates, however you are Steph had been teammates a long time ago, making your senior team debut for Melbourne Victory exactly a year after she made hers, and she also had a mark on her neck, so you were waiting to see how bad her excuse was.
"Sorry yeah I slept in, Calvin was up barking most of the night. It's so nice to see you again though," she explained as she pulled you in for a hug.
"That mark of your neck would indicate otherwise," you whispered in her ear, she just groaned knowing everyone would've already seen it.
You spend the rest of the lunch talking to mainly Steph or Stina and Frida but occasionally others would make some small talk with you.
After lunch you said your goodbyes to the team, and started to make your way out, when you heard someone call out your name, you turned around to see Leah moving towards you. "Would you like to join me and some of the team for dinner tonight? We are just going to a local pub," she questioned.
"Umm," you filled the air as you hesitated not sure what the goal of her invitation was, "if you don't want to, that's totally okay, I mean you're probably busy anyway," she quickly spat out trying to backtrack.
"Oh no, I would love to, it's just that I don't currently have a car," you told her as you fiddled with the ring on your finger.
"Oh, I can drive you if you want, you can just message me your address later," you nodded and mumbled a quiet thanks before you both went your separate ways.
____
You were just about to put your shoes one when you received a message.
From Leah: I'm just out the front in the car, no rush though. I know I'm early.
To Leah: Hey, all good, I'm actually just putting my shoes on now, I'll be out in a second.
You're pretty sure Leah's eyes widened as you walked out of the house and to her car. You opened the door of her car and saw her eyes run over your body before she said "You look nice," "Oh, thank you, it's nothing," you blushed slightly climbing into the passenger seat, but in truth it was nothing. You had a pair of light blue skinny jeans on, with a cropped country road rugby jumper on. You also have a black puffer vest in case you needed it but you placed that on the floor as you got in.
"You look nice too," you said as an afterthought, almost regretting it instantly, it probably wouldn't been better to say nothing at all than say that.
"Thanks," she smiled at you softly before she began to drive.
---
It was safe to say by the end of the night you hadn't once regretted your decision to come, all the girls there were super nice and it was a really great way to get to know them all, outside of soccer.
"Um, we're about to head home and we just thought to offer to take you home, since, um," Beth gestured over to where Leah was a the bar, you couldn't help but feel a small wave of warmth travel through your body at the fact that the team already seemed to care about you.
"Oh um, yes please that would be great," you followed Beth and Viv to their car, making small talk with them on the way home, when the car pulled up outside your home you didn't miss the look the couple sent each other, you quickly hopped out and thanked the two women profusely, before walking up the stairs of your home and collapsing onto your couch, noticing a message from Stina.
From Stina: Hey, I hope the night out with the girls went well. What would you say to a movie night at yours tomorrow night? In the theatre?
To Stina: Hey yeah it went well, Beth and Viv took me home, will explain why tomorrow night at movie night in the lounge room, you can invite Frida if you want too.
From Stina: Okay. I'll be over around 5. From Stina: Wait, why the lounge room?
To Stina: See you then, I'll make pasta.
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morgana-larkin · 19 hours
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Alright peeps! So I took a look at the poll and saw that most of you wanted the second part of 'Don't Call Me That' the most so here it is! There's everything in this one, heartbreak, angst, smut and fluff. A bit of a rollercoaster so good luck!
On another note: I'm working on part 4 of 'Mine' as that was the second most voted on. I also realise the poll is still open for another 4 hours but idc, you can still vote though!
Don't Call Me That - Part 2
Warnings: Smut, angst, lots of fluff (Not in that specific order lol), happy ending
Words: 4.2k
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Melissa didn’t get any sleep last night. Everytime she closed her eyes, all she imagined was you kissing her, and nothing was on her mind except the thought of you saying you love her. You still love her, even after her breaking up with you.
Melissa walked into Abbott a little earlier, she needed extra caffeine considering she got 0 hours of sleep last night. She barely survived the day, not only from lack of sleep, but seeing you multiple times, and everytime all she thinks about is your lips on hers.
The next day she barely got any sleep, about 2 hours. The next day was the same. She thought that at least it was Friday and she could sleep in on Saturday. On Friday, everyone can clearly see the bags under her eyes as they’ve darkened over the week, and the way she can barely stay awake. Melissa thinks that it’s good her students have a test to do today and a book report coming up, and a couple other things she can get them to do instead of teaching.
At the end of the day, you go to walk to your car and you pass by Melissa’s classroom and you can see her asleep at her desk. You walk in and you see there’s no one else there, so you walk over to her and shake her a bit. “Melissa?” you say and she groans but doesn’t wake. “Melissa!” You just about yell and she opens her eyes but doesn’t move her head. You kneel down to her level and look at her. “Hey, saw you sleeping, you ok?” you ask her and she looks at you with the saddest eyes you’ve ever seen.
“Am I dreaming?” she asks you and you tilt your head.
“What makes you think you’re dreaming?” you ask her.
“Because you’re here, you wouldn’t talk to me otherwise. If I was awake then you would just avoid me because I’m an idiot.” she says and you look down and sigh.
“Ok, come on. I’ll drive you home and then you can continue dreaming ok?” you tell her and help guide her up from her chair. You take her purse with you and help guide her to your car, as well as buckle herself in as she didn’t have the strength to do it herself. “Why have you been so tired this week?” You ask as you get in the driver’s seat and start the car.
“Because I’m being haunted by my stupidity.” She says and you snort, you then back out of the parking spot and pull out of the parking lot.
“What stupidity have you done?” You ask her.
“Breaking up with my girlfriend, Y/n.” She tells you and you then realise she has no idea where she is and might still think she’s dreaming. You know you probably shouldn’t but this might be your chance to figure out what’s really going on with her.
“Why was that a stupid decision?”
“Because I still love her so much. All I think about when I try to sleep is her kissing me or her saying she loves me. I can’t do this anymore, I need her.” She says and a few tears slip. “I’ve barely slept these past 4 days, I probably got no more than 8 hours of sleep combined. I’ve barely eaten as well. I broke up with her 3 months ago and I was still able to sleep and eat, I don’t know what changed.” She says and you think about it, you should probably help her out.
“Do you feel guilty all of a sudden?” And she lets out an airy laugh.
“I’ve felt guilty ever since I thought I should break up with her?”
“Ok, so not that then. What about the fact that she told you she loves you?” You ask her and she doesn’t say anything. “Maybe you thought her feelings for you would disappear when you broke up with her cause you thought that she would just find someone else?” You tell her and she still doesn’t say anything. You thought maybe she fell asleep so you glance over at her and she’s still awake. “Melissa?” You say and she looks up at you. “Did you really break up with me because you thought I should be with someone else?” You ask her and she sighs.
“Ya.” she says and takes a deep breath. “I was holding you back from everything you’ve wanted so I let you go so I wouldn’t be in the way because I love you and I want you to be happy, even if I had to watch someone else make you happy and give you what you want.” she tells you and her eyes slowly close and she falls asleep.
The rest of the car ride, you think about what she said. You’re honestly surprised by what she said. She thought she was doing something selfless for you, but instead just ended up hurting you both, she never meant to hurt you so much. And now you see the toll it’s taken on her to stick to her decision to try and make you happy. She’s willing to sacrifice her happiness for yours, you never thought anyone would do that for you.
As soon as you pull into her driveway, you gently wake her up. “Come on Melissa, you’re home, we should gotta get you to your bed and you can sleep comfortably, ok?” You tell her and she nods. She unbuckles herself but can’t open the door fully so you do that for her. You unlock her door with her key and you help bring her inside. You set her keys and purse at the door and you close and lock her door while she attempts to take her shoes off. You end up helping her with her shoes when she falls down and you help her back up and to her room. She falls on the bed when you get there and then you tuck her in, you go to leave after but she grabs your arm and you turn to face her.
“Will you stay with me?” She asks softly and you sigh.
“Ok, but only until you fall asleep.” You tell her and she nods. You get on the bed but stay on the covers instead of under and she wraps an arm around you. You admit that you do miss this and you miss her and her craziness. You turn around to face her and she’s still awake and looking at you.
“I do want you back, y/n.” She tells you and strokes your hair.
“What’s stopping you?” You ask her and she yawns and is slowly closing her eyes.
“The fact that you won’t be happy with me.” She says and falls asleep. You stay looking at her stunned and go over everything she’s told you, thinking that you weren’t you or she was dreaming. You then slowly crawl out from her hold on you and you replace it with a pillow so she doesn’t wake up.
A few hours later Melissa wakes up. She opens her eyes and realises she’s in her bed and has no idea what happened this week that well as she’s been so tired that the whole week has been a blur. She looks at her phone and sees that it’s 5:43pm and it’s Friday. She gets out of bed and hears some noises downstairs, she then grabs her bat and carefully goes downstairs. She gets to the middle of the stair when she sees you on the couch watching tv and she tilts her head and stares for a few seconds. She then continues down the stairs and you look over at her and chuckle.
“Were you planning on hitting me with a bat? You were friendlier when you were falling in and out of consciousness.” You tease her and she looks confused. “Do you remember anything from the end of the day to how you got home?” You ask her and she stares at you then shakes her head. “I found you asleep at your desk and then I drove you home. If you want I can drive you to the school parking lot to get your car and then go home.” You tell her, you don’t want to scare her if what she said while on the verge of sleep was true.
“You drove me home?” She tells you and you nod. “W-why?”
“Because I want to make sure you didn’t fall asleep at the wheel or stay at school overnight.” You simply say. “I bet you’re hungry since you also haven’t been eating, so I made you some mac n’ cheese.” You tell her and you go and get it.
“How do you know I haven’t been eating?” She asks when you reappear with a bowl.
“Cause you told me.” You tell her when you hand it to her and sit back on the couch. “Come sit.” You say as you pat the couch cushion.
“I wouldn’t tell anyone that.” She tells you as she obeys and goes to sit beside you on the couch.
“Wow you really don’t remember anything you told me.” You say and she freezes as she was about to take a bite.
“What do you mean?” She asks and takes a bite of the food.
“I mean we had a whole conversation while you kept falling asleep. In your classroom, my car and here, at your house.”
“What did I tell you?” She asks and prepares for the worst.
“Now I don’t want you to get freaked out ok? Cause you had no idea where you were or who I really was.” You tell her and that makes her feel worse.
“Y/n. What did I tell you.”
“You told me that you still love and miss me and you want me back.” You say and her eyes go wide. “You also told me the whole reason you let me go.” You add and she drops her fork. “And why you haven’t been sleeping, and you confessed that you’ve also barely ate in the past 4 days.” You finish and she’s just staring at you. After about 10 seconds she gets up and walks to the kitchen with her mac n’ cheese and you follow after her. She puts the bowl on the counter without much thought and she puts her hands in her hair. “Melissa?” You say to get her attention and she turns around looking scared and concerned. “What’s going on with you?”
“With me? It’s the fact that you weren’t supposed to know anything that I told you.” She tells you and she’s breathing hard like she’s on the verge of either a breakdown or lots of tears.
“Why? Because I’m just supposed to be happy with someone else as you suffer?” You tell her.
“YES!” She shouts and then looks surprised when she catches up with what you told her and what she confessed. “Since I already told you then I might as well say it. All those things that you want, you won’t get with me. But you will with someone else, someone else who wants to get married, have a family with you, wants to go out and be young and stupid with you. I don’t want those things anymore, and yes I do love you very much and do want you back. But I’m willing to put aside my happiness, if it means you get everything you want.” She tells you and you burst into tears, she immediately wraps her arms around you and hugs you. Your knees buckle and she guides you both to the floor gently and she keeps her arms around you the whole time. When you get to the floor, you place your head on her chest and she brings a hand to your head and strokes it soothingly.
You slow your crying down and sniffle a few times before you speak. “I don’t deserve you. You’re willing to give me everything at the expense of your own happiness. I really don’t deserve you.” You tell her.
“No, it’s me who doesn’t deserve you. You have been the bestest friend to me for 2 years before we got together, and after we got together you have shown me the best of love and care that I could ever ask for.” She tells you, and you look up at her and immediately kiss her. She automatically kisses you back before she has time to think. Once her brain catches up to what she’s doing, she doesn’t have the willpower to pull away, she used it all trying to stay away from you. Before she can register what she’s doing, she leans forward, bringing you back until you hit the floor of the kitchen. You make out on the kitchen floor for a good minute until you both pull away for air and you look at each other. Melissa suddenly is aware of what she did and she gets up before you could stop her and she scurries to the living room, you run after her.
“Melissa, would you stop running away from me!” You tell her and she’s turned away from you with her head down.
“You should leave y/n.” Is all she says and you walk up to her and spin her around.
“If you want me to leave then tell me while looking at me.” You say and she raises her eyes to your face and she’s crying.
“I can’t.” She says and you put your hands on her cheeks and wipe the tears away.
“Melissa, I want to be with you. If being with you means that I don’t get married, have kids or go to the bar every now and then with you then so be it. Because I’m only wanting to marry the right person, and that person is you. So if I’m with you or not, I’m not getting married. I don’t need kids to feel fulfilled, or to be able to say I have a family. I mean we can always get a pet like a dog, but you’re all the family I need. And I can go to the bars with my friends and be young and stupid with them from time to time if I really want.” You tell her and she starts crying even more.
“You shouldn’t have to sacrifice everything just to be with me.”
“Melissa, it’s not a sacrifice if what I’m getting is a life with you.” You tell her and you kiss her. Melissa immediately pulls back and looks at you, her hands on your head.
“Are you sure? You have to be 100% sure y/n.” She tells you and you think it over for all of 2 seconds and you nod your head.
“I’m 100% sure, I want to be with you Melissa.” You tell her and she smiles.
“I want to be with you too.” She says and this time she goes to kiss you. The kiss deepens and you start putting your hands all over her and you think you want to touch her skin and she’s wearing too much clothes, so you put your hands under her shirt. Melissa immediately pulls her shirt off so you can touch her and you unclip her bra and take it off. She’s always been the dominant one but at this moment, all you want to do is kiss her all over, so you walk forward until her back hits a wall and you go down to her neck and kiss and suck all over and she’s gasping under you. You then travel down to her chest and leave kisses all over until you attach your mouth to her nipples and start to suck and lick them. 
She’s bucking her hips under you and you know she’s not far away from pulling all her clothes off herself and guiding you inside of her. You’re working on her second nipple when she pushes you off and guides you to your knees. You go immediately into submissive like always and you pull her pants and underwear off. Melissa leans back against the wall and spreads her legs a little further so you can put your mouth there.
You attach your mouth to her clit and she starts bucking her hips right away and you pin her to the wall. Her hands go to your hair and she’s gasping and moaning at your touch. “Oh god, Y/n, that feels so good baby.” She says and when you know she’s getting close, you pull away and stand up. You push your body into hers and immediately insert two fingers in her and put your thumb on her clit. “God Y/N, I missed you so much.” She says and kisses you. She’s so close as she starts shaking but she doesn’t pull away from your lips like she usually does, you aren’t complaining though, you missed her as well and you’re enjoying kissing her again.
She comes not long after she starts shaking but you don’t stop, you keep fingering her and circling her clit and she lets out a high pitched gasp. “Oh god baby, yes, omg, don’t stop.” She says as she pulls away from your lips and gives into the over sensitivity.
She comes again not too long after the first and then you withdraw your fingers and put them in your mouth to lick them. She looks at you as you lick your fingers and you moan and that’s when she takes action. She picks you up and brings you to the couch, you’re so glad that she decided to remove the plastic as this wouldn’t be comfortable. She put you so you’re sitting in the middle with your back resting on the back of the couch. She starts kissing and sucking your neck and pulls your shirt off. She unclips your bra and yanks it off  right after then immediately brings her mouth to a nipple. You’re moaning and gasping under her and she smiles as she’s so happy that she’s back with you, she’s fully aware of how lucky she is right now and she won’t take it for granted. She takes more time on your nipples then she usually does and your patience is running thin as you’re dripping wet and you have a strong ache between your legs. 
“Melissa, please, I need you inside of me, please.” You tell her and she pulls back from your chest and smiles at you. She gives a quick kiss on your lips then leaves a trail of kisses from your chest all the way to the top of your pants. She quickly removes your pants and underwear, spreads your legs, leaves a few kisses on each thigh and then attaches her mouth to your entrance. You gasp as soon as her hot wet tongue is where you need her the most and she starts moving her tongue all over your entrance before entering her tongue in you. You moan as she starts sliding her tongue in and out of you and you're holding onto her hair for dear life. You start grinding into her mouth to try and get more friction so you can come and for once she lets you keep doing it, normally she would pin you down when you start grinding. Even in the middle of amazing pleasure, that fact is not lost on you, you notice it immediately then start to think of everything else she’s done differently. 
She kept kissing you when she was about to come and even when she came, when she usually pulls away as you love to hear her when she comes. She let you keep fingering her after she came and it seemed like she needed it as well, she only lets you make her come once as she usually ends up grinding your thigh when fingering you as she loves to watch you and it turns her on. She spent more time on your nipples then she usually does, to the point that you begged her to continue, and now letting you grind against her mouth. You put it all together and came to the conclusion, she’s letting you do whatever you want and making sure you feel good as she feels guilty. You reluctantly pull her mouth away and she looks at you confused,
“What is it baby?” She asks and her lips and chin is covered in your juices.
“Stop doing things differently, you don’t have to feel guilty ok. I feel really special about why you did what you did. No one has ever been willing to sacrifice their own happiness for mine.” You tell her and she smiles shyly.
“Of course, I’d do anything for you.” She tells you and you lean in closer to her.
“Then stop fucking me differently and start being yourself again.” You tell her and something flickers in her eyes before she pushes your head back to lean on the back of the couch then dives down to your clit and starts licking and sucking on it. Your fingers are still in her hair and you start grinding against her again, but this time she does pin your hips down. Then she does something she’s never done before, she snakes her hands around your hips and hooks her hands on your ass then pulls you up a bit and that gives her a perfect angle with your clit and you gasp her name out as you come.
She then immediately comes up and positions herself so her clit is on your thigh and she slides a finger in you and you moan as she starts sliding it in and out of you slowly. She then adds two more fingers and starts going faster while her thumb is on your clit and she brings her mouth near your ear.
“Unfortunately the strap is upstairs and I don’t have the patience to go get it, so we’ll have to make do with my fingers.” she says then adds a fourth and you cry out.
“OH MY GOD!!” You cry out as she fills you up with her fingers then her mouth goes to your neck and so much pleasure is coursing through you right now and you feel like moving but her grinding on your thigh is preventing you from doing that. So you do something else that will help stabilise you, you put your hands on her boobs and squeeze them. You don’t feel like that’s enough so you wrap an arm around her back and pull her into you more.
“Ooo” She says as she’s caught off guard by your actions. You come again about 5 seconds later and she doesn’t stop, she just keeps going until you come again and again and then you pull her away.
“Melissa, I can’t take anymore.” You tell her and she nods and gently pulls each finger out at a time. 
“Sorry I got lost in the moment.” She tells you and you smile but your body is shaking from the amount of times you came. She notices and then goes to your side and brings you both to lay down while she cuddles you to give your body the chance to calm down. You turn around in her arms then nuzzle your head on her neck and chest and she holds you tighter. “It’s ok baby, I got you, and I don’t plan on going anywhere again.” She tells you and you only nod as you’re falling asleep. She notices that you fell asleep and she gently strokes your hair. “I promise I won’t leave you again.” She whispers to you. “I won’t make that mistake again.” She says and presses a kiss to your forehead.
*3 years later*
You and Melissa are both standing in front of the house as you unlock it then Melissa grabs your waist before you walk in and she pushes the door open.
“What are you doing Mel?” You ask her as you’re smiling at her and she smiles at you.
“Well shouldn’t I carry my bride across the threshold?” She asks you and then picks you up bridal style and you let out a small squeal and then she carries you inside then gently puts you down. She wraps her arms around your waist and you lean into her touch and she puts lays her chin on your shoulder. You both then hold out your left hands and smile at the ring on both your third finger.
Melissa kisses your neck and then your puppy comes running in and Kristen Marie running after her. You and Melissa decided to adopt a little puppy a few months ago and you both are really happy with your lives now. Melissa re-thought her decision about getting married and proposed to you a year and a half ago, much to your surprise. Then you both agreed on adopting a dog and Melissa named her Bella. Kristen Marie takes Bella out one more time before leaving her with you guys. 
“Are you still alright with the fact that we got married?” You ask her.
“Oh, it’s more than alright baby. Cause I got to marry you, my happily ever after.” She tells you and you both kiss.
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bullet-prooflove · 2 days
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Romantic Shit: Ryan x Reader (Yellowstone)
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Tagging: @hatersaremymotivators justsimplyme93 knick3rbock3r anticxrrupt 
Prequel to Summer (NSFW)
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Every morning that Ryan wakes up with you is a gift. He’s thought that ever since you decided to take this cowboy to bed. This morning though, this morning is bitter sweet because he’s leaving in a couple of days for Texas and the two of you still haven’t discussed what that means for the relationship.
When he finds you, you’re standing on the porch of your house, watching the sunrise in the distance, a mug of coffee clasped to your chest. You’re clad in nothing but his plaid shirt and cowboy boots. The tattoo of his name stands stark against your upper thigh, a symbol of your love for him, your commitment.
This thing between the two of you was never meant to have a future.
In the beginning he didn’t see how it could work, you were a deputy in the sheriff’s department and he was a land enforcement agent/cowboy who did some goddamn shady shit. The secrets you kept from one another should have strangled the life out of this thing but instead it had flourished, because there has always been a mutual understanding. He’s got shit he can’t tell you and you’ve got shit you can’t tell him.
“We should talk about it.” He says quietly as he comes to lean against the wooden strut that supports the gable.
You set your coffee cup down on the railing before you turn your attention towards him. His jeans are slung low on his hips, the orange light from the sunrise plays over his bare chest, highlighting the brand that’s seared into his skin.
“I guess I just wasn’t ready for this to end just yet.” You say as you lean against the pillar opposite him.
Ryan wants to tell you it doesn’t have to, that he’ll be true to you out there in Texas but he can’t ask you to wait a year for him, no matter how much he may want it. His fingertips trace over your name, the italic scrawl inked into his inner forearm.
Katalina…
The love of his life.
The woman whose about to become Sheriff of this county.
You can’t go with him and he can’t stay…
“I love you.” He says quietly as he looks out across the landscape. “I will always love you, the distance doesn’t change that.”
“I know.” You say softly as you come to stand beside him. “I keep asking myself what’s one year in the space of a lifetime?” 
“And what’s the answer?” He asks you, the back of his hand brushing lightly against yours.
Your fingers capture his, entwining them and for the first time since this conversation started he allows himself to hope.
“Marry you.” You say, squeezing his hand a little. “So you’ll know you’ll always be mine, wherever you go.”
If that isn’t the most romantic shit he doesn’t know what is.
“Are you asking me that honey?” He murmurs, his hands coming to rest on your hips as he backs you up against the strut. He can feel the heat of your body through the shirt, he wants to unbutton it, take it off, fuck you right here on the porch. “Are you asking me to marry you before I head off to Texas?”
Your fingers lace at the base of his neck, fingertips brushing over the light curls. His hair has gotten a little long this season. He’s been meaning to cut it but he likes the way your fingers feel when you tug it just right.
“I guess I am cowboy.” You whisper against his lips. “So is that a yes or a no?”
Love Ryan? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.
Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee
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meichenxi · 1 day
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languages, travel, identity, grief
Maybe some of you have heard of Xu Zhimo's Second Farewell to Cambridge (徐志摩 再別康橋 Translation: Saying Goodbye to Cambridge Again, by Xu Zhimo | East Asia Student). It's an achingly lovely poem about a Chinese scholar who studied in the UK, and how he left so gently, taking nothing with him as he went. It brought me solace over the last year.
I thought for a very long time about how I felt about having to leave China, and what it felt like to mourn for a future that was never going to mine. I cried. How am I supposed to explain why? I'm not Chinese. I've got no family there, or a childhood to look back on. I couldn't explain it even to myself.
That pain was coupled with a type of uncertainty, a discomfort at myself for feeling so strongly. This feeling was not allowed. It meant - what? Something awful, probably. I was a racist, probably. I should hate myself, probably. Fetishization is the word that gets thrown around for white people and their time spent in East Asia at one end of the spectrum - at the other end it's just seen as embarrassing and deeply, you know, cringe. It's a self-interrogation - why do I feel so sad? Why do I feel this pull so strongly anyway, to a country that's not even mine? Why should it matter so much when I leave? I didn't feel like this grief has any sort of legitimacy. But it has taken from September - eight months after leaving - for me to pick up Chinese again.
I felt, for months, hollow and unsettled and drifting from place to place. I opened my textbook, and closed it again. The memories there were too painful. I'm not going to write about why I had to leave, but it wasn't by choice. I had loved the people in the school, even if it was for a short time. When you have no internet and are training eight hours a day, the days are coloured more sharply: bright and hurtful and wonderful all at once. We had no running water. It was in an abandoned hotel. I miss the monk at the temple door opposite the school, always on time at 6am to open it for our classes. I miss the folk at the local shop who invited me to watch films on their projector; once they killed a chicken for us. I miss the woman in the woods who gave me the chestnuts she had picked. I gave the chestnuts to the cook, and we steamed them and ate them by the lake. He wanted me to marry his son; he wanted it so strongly that he brought me pork, and desserts, and gave me paper, and promised me I could have a jade bracelet, that he would buy me a house. I miss the oldest martial arts teacher, who spoke in such strong dialect I could barely understand him. When I was sad and missing home one night, he told me that I should stay after dinner. In the silence and against the cicadas, he started to play the erhu for me. Later, my friend told me that he hadn't know what to say, how to comfort me; I was a foreigner and a young woman, after all. We had very little in common. But nobody has ever played a piece of music for me like that before.
And I miss X, my best friend there and partner in snack-smuggling crime. She is 19 years old, and a janitor's daughter, and one of the wisest people I have ever met. (She also rides an excellent motorbike, and lent me her hanfu, and we sped through the city giddy with our own daring and trying not to be caught.) We got matching haircuts; she had always wanted to cut her hair like a boy, and was too scared to do it alone. When I left, I told her to stay in touch: she shook her head. She said that some people were meant to know each other for some time, and no more. I think the death of friendship by attrition, by - as Elrond said! - the slow decay of time, is one of the saddest things of all. I deleted Wechat. I don't want to read over the old messages. By having this place - her, and the chestnuts, and the cicadas - as a memory, I can tuck it away it. I can keep it close.
I wrote a poem myself on the plane. That was the last I thought about China, the last thought I let myself have, in eight months. I kept myself away from it. It felt like a wound. And against that hollowness, there was constantly the question: Why should I have any right to miss this place? Who I am there? Why does it matter? We are all different people, wherever we go, and whoever we are with; we wear different skins, large or small. In China I was [...]. She was who I was. That name, that I introduced myself to people with - she was bright and friendly and tried to translate things just so. Everybody who goes as the only foreigner to a place - or the only foreigner that speaks the language - is a little bit self-obsessed. It happens. It's unfortunate, and something to guard against. But it also gives you its own kind of identity in a way: your identity is Foreigner. Your identity is a cultural bridge. Everyone you meet, in a country as friendly and curious as China, has questions about you. You stand with your feet in both worlds, and are not really part of either of them. That identity is easy to slip into, like cool water, like trying on new clothes. It's easier that thinking: who am I outside of that? Where am I going? I don't really know. I don't think anyone really does.
And then the second thing happens. I speak Chinese well, by this point. My accent is there, but it's slight. I am short, and have dark hair, and a generally similar build to many East Asians - so the questions I have got in the last few years have changed. Sometimes people think I have been raised here. Sometimes they think I am ethnically Russian, and nationally Chinese. Sometimes I get asked if I am half Chinese. Usually they know I am a Foreigner, 100% white - but not always. There is a peculiar rush that comes from that acceptance; from feeling the relief, just for fifteen minutes, that you belong. It's not about 'passing', or race-bending, or anything twisted - it's nothing so unnerving as that. It's just the human need to belong. Everyone gets tired of being stared at, after a while. And after a while, you start to think - I wish I understood. I wish they understood. I wish this were easy.
But then the conversation keeps going. You don't know a local word, or you misunderstand. You say something in a strange way, or you make a strange gesture, and the glass shatters, and - there you are again, naked again, exhausted again, explaining yourself again. That's the other half of it. There's solace in the Foreigner identity, because that means that's all you are. You don't have to think about your parents, or whether they worry about you so far from home; of course they do. The Foreigner is good and filial and a wonderful daughter. You can craft her into any shape you like. But it also marks you out again and again, endlessly and again, as Other.
There was a paper published a while ago that showed measures of acceptance of non-natives in native-speaking communities. It highlights a strange, but familiar experience to those who have lived abroad - the people who spoke the language to a medium level felt more accepted and less lonely than those that spoke the language to a high degree. It makes sense, and mirrors what I have found with both Chinese and German. When you speak a little Chinese, you are a wonder - a curiousity! Look at the Western girl go! People are kind, and curious, and will slow down to include you in conversations. You are thrilled with what you can access - all this knowledge, that other people don't have! Look how special you are!
And then you get better. And then you realise, cut by cut, that you will never be one of them. You don't want to be Chinese, per se; but you do want to be accepted. You are happy to be British; but you miss China like a wound, an old one, festering, even when it was never yours. How do you tell your family that you are not grieving a lost romance, a beautiful girl, but a language and a life? That there are words of majesty, of playfulness, that will never be yours? You speak well enough that people no longer bother to dumb things down, or explain them; you sit with your discomfort, smile painted on, because - you know. It's not bad. You understand most of it. And on the edge of that circle, smiling uncertainly, following the vast majority of what is being said, you are not clever enough and not witty enough to keep up with the chengyu, the cultural references, the slang, and the raucous laughter around you erupts, and you don't know what you've missed, and everybody says - she's quiet, that one. Maybe all the foreigners are? And all you are doing is sitting and feeling the distance between You and Them as heavy and as stifled in your chest as an ocean of dark.
So you go back. Back to your people. But when you sit with the other foreigners, you are apart. They laugh; what are these nutters doing? The Chinese don't make any sense. The Chinese do this - they do that. You sit there, and then there is a pressure building in your chest too, a discomfort, the desire to stand up and say - well, actually.
You are responsible for everything the Chinese teachers do, and have to explain things in a way that the students understand - Confucian thought, and Buddhist philosophy, translated in pithy bite-size adages for the West. You have no qualifications for this; everything you assert, you feel unsure. Uncertain. Someone else could explain it better, more nuanced, and you need to do more reading anyway - but here you are, and here they are, and you're the only one. And you do know. Not enough, but enough that their jokes, their pains, make you uncomfortable. You feel the need to defend both parties; to be a diplomat, every second of every day. In turn, when the students come to the teachers with problems, you have to translate their grievances in a way that the Chinese teachers will be sympathetic towards. Once I got asked: why do you never join us after class? Why are you always so quiet when you're not working? As a translator, you are always working. Every time you speak, you are working; what you choose to say, and what you choose to not say, and where you choose to intervene. You are building relationships, and disappearing, and you are becoming invisible, and you're a nothing, and you're everyone and you're nobody and nobody realises you are doing anything more than translating at all.
I wanted to stay. I couldn't have stayed. I wanted to be accepted as one of them. I wanted to be accepted for who I was. That means a foreigner. I wanted to be true to myself, which means that I would always be the Foreigner, which means I would always be apart from them. It is that contrast and juxtaposition which causes the grief. And there was never an ending to it, a resolution, a chance to reconcile myself (in China) with myself (in the UK), because all at once I had to leave. The grief comes most from the second arrow - not the pain of leaving, but the bewilderment of not knowing why I was in pain at all.
It's been eight months. Slowly, as spring comes, I feel like I am on surer ground. I can look at my old books, those painstaking notes, and I could look at new ones too and I'm starting to think, because this is what I tell my students, and maybe there's some truth in it - it's okay if you're not perfect. It's okay if you didn't achieve what you wanted to, and that the language - in its wholeness, and who can ever know that? - will never, not quite, be yours. It's the struggle and the process that means that I will know and understand Chinese in a different way, in my own way, in a slanted-to-reality sort of way, that is a treasure in and of itself. There is beauty in its brokenness too.
And there is sorrow, too. The sorrow that comes with easing yourself into a different life, and it holding you gently for a while. I sat there - I spoke to them. It's not only missing a place; it's missing a person you were, a stage of your life, for a time. It's knowing that a place has reached inside your ribs and taken root there - even if you don't return, you can never fully get rid of that again. You are two people now, with feet straddling two oceans. There are parts of you that loved and suffered and hated and grew in Chinese, not English. You can't explain that. You can't even begin. Sometimes - not often - you are a stranger in your own land. The poets spoke of that. In the age of fast travel, of the weekend break, we have forgotten the ways a place can burrow itself inside you, and find its own home.
It's not the same as the grief that someone Chinese will face. But it's still grief. I have put my life into Chinese. Maybe that is all it takes to grow love.
Now, I turn back to Chinese - as a foreigner, as Melissa, as myself. It's a bittersweet thing. I know that I cannot hold all of it. It will spill out, like the sun, and there is no way I can be that without losing myself and my history and my own green woods. But I think I am ready now. I am surer, and a little steadier on my feet.
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spiderbeam · 2 days
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the case of the red umbrella
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description: working at your local coffee shop in port townsend is usually uneventful… until you meet a pretty boy in the midst of a thunderstorm
word count: 1.6k
a/n: i love charles rowland with all my heart so yeah <3 it’s a pretty basic imagine because i didn’t really have any fleshed out ideas! so if you have rqs let me know :)
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Today is a quiet day. The humming of the coffee machine accompanies the distant sound of rain as you clean the countertop with a rag. The rain hasn’t stopped since midday— and you’re starting to wonder how you’ll walk back home when you didn’t pack an umbrella. You close your eyes, and the sound of droplets against the pavement and the roof feels louder. You’re dreading the moment you’ll have to clock out.
You hum a song you heard that morning on the radio, ducking under the counter to check —once again— if Marina accidentally left an umbrella there that you could borrow. You wiggle your hand between cardboard boxes, scrunching your nose and praying for even a broken one.
“Huh. This place is definitely a lot less creepy than the butcher shop.”
You bump your head against the counter. You let out a groan, holding the banged up area with your rag-less hand. By the time you stand up, you’re looking back at a tall, lanky boy with curly hair and a lopsided smile.
He tilts his head at you with a bemused expression. “You should be careful with that,” he mentions, before turning to look around the warmly-lit shop.
You scoff a small laugh. “Yeah— sorry. You just scared me a little there.” The boy freezes in his place, snapping his head in your direction. His eyes grow wide. “I didn’t hear the bell when you came in.”
“The— The bell?” he repeats, no longer looking as smug as he did a moment before.
“My bad, honestly. I wasn’t expecting anyone to come in with this type of weather.” You shrug your shoulders, shaking your head as you reach for a cup. “Right, anyways— what can I get you?”
You uncap your sharpie. You wait a second, two, three, before looking back up at him. He’s staring at you with a dumbfounded look. His backpack actually starts to slip from his shoulder.
You tilt your head, and after a beat, he clears his throat. He looks up at the board behind you. “Um. Yeah. Of course.” He squints, and as he’s reading what he can order, you take a moment to actually look at him. He’s pretty, you realize now that he’s standing closer to the counter. He has a sharp jawline, pretty bow lips, and an earring in his left ear that suits him so.
“Actually, it’s been a while since I’ve had coffee,” he says, and his brown eyes meet your own. You startle, cheeks growing hot. You wonder whether he caught you checking him out. From the mirth dancing in his gaze and the cocky twitch of his lips, you’re certain he did. He chuckles. “Why don’t you surprise me?”
You arch a brow. “Are you sure about that? Marina’s big on her no refunds policy.”
“You seem like someone who has good taste.” He shrugs his shoulders loosely, and his awkward demeanor from the start is gone in the blink of an eye. He tilts his head, lips curving up. “I’ll trust you.”
You look up at him. “Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” you tease. “Can I get a name for the order?”
His lips part like he wants to say something else. Instead, he simply answers with, “Charles.”
“Charles,” you repeat with a barely-concealed smile. “I didn’t think anyone was being named Charles since the seventies.”
He snorts, a wide grin brightening up his face. “You have no idea.” His eyes flick down to your name tag. “But, then again, you’re one to talk…” he tilts his head. “…Agatha.”
This time, you’re the one who laughs. “That’s a nice try— except I’m not Agatha.”
“Really?” he leans over the counter. ”Because the name on your pin says otherwise.”
“It’s because it’s not my name tag.” You roll your eyes with a smile as you turn to the coffee machine and start preparing him his drink. “I lost mine ages ago, and I don’t actually feel like paying for another one out of pocket.”
“So, you’ve left poor, innocent Agatha without one.”
“Please, she had it coming,” you respond, and he laughs. You’re not about to explain to him that Agatha retired before you even started working here.
The coffee machine stops humming, and you reach for the cup before finally closing it with a lid.
“So if not Agatha,” Charles starts, “what should I call you?”
You slide his coffee cup across the counter. You tell him your name, and he repeats it with a smile. He’s about to bring his coffee up to his lips, before stopping.
“Oh— apologies,” he sets it down on the table, reaching around for his backpack. “How— How much do I owe you?”
“It’s on the house,” you say.
He raises a brow. “What for?”
“Keeping me company on a day like this.” You gesture outside, where the rain only seems to have gotten worse.
“Yeah— dreadful weather, huh?” he says, hopping onto the counter with little regard for the fact that you only just cleaned it. Surprisingly enough, you don’t find yourself caring all-that much.
“Tell me about it.” You exhale, casting a glance out the window. “If it gets any worse, I might just end up camping here.”
Charles hums in agreement, toying with his coffee cup, but not yet drinking it. “Have you been working here for long?”
“Since high school, yeah.” You lean your back against the counter, folding your arms over your chest. “What about you?”
He furrows his brow. “What about me?”
“Well, for one, I know all my regulars— and this is the first time I’m seeing you around. How long have you been in Port Townsend?
“Ah, not long.” He scratches the back of his neck. “A friend of mine has been renting a room next door.”
“She’s renting one of Jenny’s rooms?” you muse. “Huh. So you’re visiting her?”
“Yeah. You could say that.” You cock your head slightly, giving Charles a look. He raises his brows. “What?”
“Your coffee’s gonna get cold, Charles,” you tease.
He almost looks flustered at that. “Right! Coffee, yeah.” He brings the cup to his lips, and swallows most of it in one big gulp. His face twists into a poorly-stifled grimace. His voice is hoarse when he adds, “So good.”
He tries to smile at you, but you’re frowning. Charles decides he doesn’t like to see you frowning.
“You hate it,” you say, lightly kicking your leg. The one time a customer —a cute one, at that— asks you to choose for them, and you royally fuck it. “Fuck, I knew I should’ve gone with a black coffee or something.”
“What?” Charles says, voice still somewhat scratchy from the drink. He hops off the counter, now standing next to you. There’s a smile on his face that looks apologetic. “No, no! It’s brills, really— perfect.”
You shake your head, trying not to show how much it bothers you. You try to chuckle. “Come on, Charles. Your face is getting all scrunched up— like you just ate a mouthful of dirt.”
He winces, embarrassed. “Yeah, to be honest I’m not actually big on coffee.”
He’s sparing your feelings. You’re not sure yet whether you find it endearing from him or embarrassing for you. Maybe a little of both. You tilt your head up to meet his gaze, surprised to see that he’s already looking down at you. His shoulder is a breath away from yours— you could lean your head on it if you wanted to.
“And yet here you are. Inside a coffee shop, on a Tuesday afternoon, while the sky falls outside.”
“Accusing me of something?” Charles clicks his tongue, and the warm lighting of the shop catches and reflects on his earring. “There are other things to enjoy here.”
“Such as?”
“The company.” His eyes meet yours when he says that, and you find a strange warmth spreading inside your chest.
You can’t help the way your lips curve upward. “Does that line usually work for you?”
“I don’t know.” He leans his back against the counter, looking at you with a mischievous glint in his gaze. “Does it?”
You laugh at that, shaking your head. He’s grinning. “Only ‘cause you’re pretty.”
He grins wider at that. “You think I’m pretty?”
“Come on, Charles. Do you really think I give free coffees out to anyone?”
“Well, that’s good to know.”
“Yeah, how so?”
“Because maybe I’ll come by more often.”
“I thought you said you didn’t like coffee.”
Charles shrugs. “Yeah. But there’s a gorgeous barista that works there. Agatha, I think.”
You’re laughing now, louder than before. Your cheeks feel hot as it dies out. You’re still smiling when you catch Charles licking his bottom lip, glancing down at yours. Your heart stammers, but you find yourself leaning closer.
Your mouths are inches away from each other when thunder strikes, and you both flinch away.
“You should get home soon,” Charles says, rounding the counter. “I don’t think it’s gonna get much better.”
“Yeah— you’re probably right.” You hope he can’t see you blushing underneath the dim light. “See you soon then?”
“Yeah,” he says, and it’s something about his beaming smile that makes you believe him. “See you soon.”
The afternoon drags on after that. Rain pours outside, paired with the occasional lighting strike.
And as you’re closing, turning off the lights and placing chairs atop tables, you find that there’s something that wasn’t there before.
An old, red umbrella, leaning against the door.
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a/n: reblogs and comments are always appreciated <3
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honeybcj · 22 hours
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Could you pretty please give us some rosekiller hcs as you did for jeggy
oh nonnie i would absolutely love to give some of my rosekiller hcs <3 (i’ve copied over some from my “domestic hc” list, so those will be first and i’ve added some other ones on as well!)
— evan actually really enjoys cooking meals for the two of them, even if barty is an absolute nuisance in the kitchen. always stealing kisses and slapping his ass. stirring whatever is in the pot and pretending like he knows exactly what he’s doing (secretly he does know what he’s doing, but he loves when evan cooks for him, and evan is more than happy to indulge him <3)
— barty is a stress cleaner! he’s not always tidy, actually rather frequently he outright refuses to make the bed or will forget to wash his dishes, but then he goes and has one minor inconvenience and evan will come home to the couch on the other side of the room and the pantry reorganized by the color of each item.
— save water, shower together. there’s not a single chance you’ll find either of them showering on their own. they say it’s for the environment, but truthfully they are just severely connected at the hip, and barty wants any excuse to see evan naked
— evan will (and does) steal the same hoodie of barty’s anytime he is cold. might as well be part of his closet at this point. and before they actually started dating, barty would go out of his way to make sure it was clean every time evan came over even if it meant forking over four extra dollars worth of quarters and dealing with the bitchy lady at the laundromat (i did, in fact, include this hc in like smoke behind glass)
— i have it on good authority that for valentine’s day barty tried to bake evan a heart shaped cake (vanilla with raspberry jam and vanilla bean frosting), but he fucked it up real bad and forgot the LITERAL SUGAR but evan still plastered on the fakest damn smile and told him he was proud of barty
— freaky ass mfs. barty loves to receive praise while degrading someone else, and this dynamic works out really well between him and evan because evan finds a thrill in how barty’s eyes roll to the back of his head when he’s praised and how vulgar and open it makes him feel to be degraded by barty
— there’s a universe where barty is a dirtbag runner ( @moon-seas the idea has not left my head once) and he’s dry scooping preworkout before he goes on his runs while evan is swirling his little glass straw around his cup of fucking fresh pressed cucumber and kale juice
— evan’s obsessed with barty’s teeth, pretty much just teeth in general. and next thing you know evan is investing in a full 1940s style dentist chair that he keeps in his “lab” just so he can strap barty down and start analyzing his teeth until his little heart is content and barty’s just wooed the entire time like “oh wow, yeah, that one’s mine”
— their fucking is a bit clinical meet freak show if that even makes any sense whatsoever. it does it me and i stand by it!
— barty is a wannabe punk skater-boy but he’s more like if a possum got thrown into a bucket of water in the middle of hot topic in 2007 if you catch my drift and then evan is this cadaverous little puppet with an oddly ethereal quality that is both concerning and captivating. it’s like if the bean stalk from jack and the bean stalk got a little cunty, twinky man to be his boyfriend
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haru-natsuka · 2 days
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Second Male Leads Are all Yanderes but I Won't Rest Until I Win My Love Back (Female Reader x OCs)
CHAPTER 4
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Story will start after the synopsis
Every second male lead who appeared in this world had a hidden yandere side that can emerge at any moment and turn them into a twisted and obsessive villain.
As someone with a severe case of the "second male lead syndrome", you are determined to pursue your love for the second male lead, leaving the original male lead to become the second.
While you were busy chasing after the second male lead, the original male lead kept on bothering you and trying to get you to choose him instead.
"Don't you dare to come any closer!" You snap at the original male lead, your tone sharp and firm.
"Oh, and who's going to stop me? You?" The yandere stares at you, a menacing look in their eyes, as their body slowly moves closer.
"Too close! Step back!"
"Your words mean nothing to me. You can't control me. I will come as close as I please, you can't stop me."
As if a yandere was not enough, when you chose to ignore the original male lead, another second male lead suddenly entered your life, further complicating the situation.
The yandere and the upcoming second male lead both seem determined to have you for themselves, and they were both very possessive and pushy in their approaches to you.
You just wanted to be happy with your true love. Yandere or not, you would stick with your crush!
CHAPTER 1 << CHAPTER 2 << CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4: THE LADIES
What was the meaning of happiness in your life? To you, it was when you had gotten to go out with your lovely Adrian, hands wrapped around his arm in a secure lock and the most important thing was, Adrian allowed you! Just seeing the envious looks on other ladies faces at the town was enough to make your smile even brighter.
'Yes! Adrian is mine! Back off'
"I'm doing you a favour, Adrian. I'm saving you from being ambush by all these predatory ladies" That was just an excuse as you tightened your hold on him, laid your head on his shoulder and acted as his protector and savior.
"Oh, you are? I am in debt to you then." Although you did not look at his face as you were busy laying your head on his shoulder but you could tell he was looking at your direction.
"Do you think they would've been able to lure me away from you?" His question sounded so playful but coming from Adrian, it was just out of pure curiosity. An angel who just wanted to know more about your thoughts.
"Will you?" You chose to withhold your answer for this one question and used his curiosity for this opportunity instead.
"If these ladies tried to lure you away from me, would you fall for their antics?" You asked, wanting to see how he would answer that question.
"I don't think so. I rather feel more comfortable being with you, out of everyone. You spend a lot of your time with me and I can't be more than thankful or..." Adrian's tone changed from his usual calm one into the one he would used whenever he would tease you for fun.
"or maybe it was the fact that you held onto me too tightly that I cannot escape to anywhere" You could feel his hot breath hit your face as he brought his face closer to you as he whispered.
'Too cute! Can I just pinch those cheeks.'
"Your words does not synchronies with your expression, Adrian. You had fun teasing me a lot these days"
As you were about to behave more respectful to Adrian's boundary by releasing your grip on his arm, as if he disliked the idea, Adrian placed a hand over yours. Your focus was back at him in question. When you looked into his eyes, they were glistening warmly and looking at you, giving you chills and a hint of excitement.
"This is the payment for my debt so do as you like"
'Do as I like? I-I ba-bad thoughts go away!'
"Look at these two undeclared young couple. Flirting with each other early in the morning" Suddenly, an old voice rang out, calling attention to you and Adrian from a fruit store. You immediately glanced over your shoulder to look at the source of the voice.
The person who spoke was none other than your dear madam, who smiled sheepishly at you with joy and rejoice. Your mood brightened when you saw her expression, as it was a reminder of her support of this relationship. She seemed overjoyed with your happiness and satisfaction, and this made you feel more grateful to her for her kindness and love towards you.
"You're mistaken, madam. We are not a couple yet," you clarified, politely explaining to her that you and Adrian were not a couple at this point in time.
"But pray for my success please. When we are together, madam would be the first person I told to."
Upon hearing your words, the madam's eyes widened and she displayed an expression that held a hint of disappointment. It was apparent that she had hoped for a different outcome, with the two of you already being a couple. That was why she was now feeling disappointed, after realizing that you still not success in pursuing your love for Adrian.
"Adrian still rejecting you?" The madam shifted her focus on Adrian.
"Young man, you should not let a beautiful flower alone when it's dazzlingly shine in front of you. You should treasure it before it flies away. As the flower blown by the wind, it would be hard for you to get it back"
Adrian remained silent and did not reply, his expression changing to one that you found difficult to fathom. You choose to be the one who continued the conversation. Mentally, questioning the meaning of his expression. He must felt uncomfortable with the old lady's words.
"Madam, I will never go away. I will never give up but I dont want to force Adrian to accept my feeling." You reassured the older lady, who was now actively supporting and rooting for you and yet failed miserably.
"That's the same answer you keep on repeating. I'm rooting for you, Y/N and do remember my warning young man."
Adrian remained silent all the way until both of you reached a bookstore, seemingly deep in thought. He did not seem to have much to say, and kept his thoughts to himself. You chose not to enter the bookstore with him to give him some space, and instead, simply waited outside while he went in.
As you waited outside the bookstore, you did not have much else to do except to inspect the stores around you in detail. You closely studied the signs, decorations, and interiors, as if they were the most interesting things you had ever seen. You took in all the various colors and designs of each store, and soaked it all in with great care and detail.
As you continued to inspect the stores around you, a sudden burst of noise and a crowd of people caught your attention. The crowd was gathered and concentrated in one spot, which caught your curiosity. So, you tiptoed closer in order to see what it was that had piqued their interest. When you eventually managed to get a glimpse of the source, you were shaken by what you saw.
As you were watching the scene unfold from your vantage point, you suddenly saw a familiar face that you recognized from your college days. It was the most hated man from your list, someone you absolutely despised. The man locked eyes with you, and immediately began approaching you at a rapid pace.
'No no he does not walking here right or he might wants to buy something from the store too. Yeah yeah that must be it. We had never even talked before'
You quickly scooted to the side, attempting to evade his path by moving out of the way. However, he continued to approach you, as if he had his sights set on you and had no intention of backing down. Without awaiting your consent, he abruptly grabbed your wrist and pulled you close to him, seeming insistent in engaging in a direct interaction with you.
'The hand that only meant for Adrian! What with this bastard with his unrespectful behavior?! He just walks to me perfectly fine but still need to pull me? That's not important right now. The thing is, don't you dare disturbing my outing with my man!'
@d3sperate-enuf @sirenetheblogger @orinnie @aoiyx @chin-chii
This time, I want to focus on the growth of the interaction for Adrian and Y/N. Are the dialogues too much though? But I do enjoy writing it this way. Isn't it too fluffy and cute?! Enjoy your weekend while accompanied by this story.
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winchesterwild78 · 3 days
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Chance Meeting pt 20
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Chance Meeting Master list
18+ Minors DO NOT interact
Please be kind and all mistakes are my own. All work is mine. Please don’t take or copy it.
Warnings: Fluff, Anxiety, pregnancy, SMUT, tension
A/N: lots of things happening in this chapter. Our lovebirds are moving forward with their lives and Ashley is hanging over their heads still. I edited this quickly, so please overlook any errors.
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About a month later you and Jensen were waiting to hear back from the police and his attorney about Ashley and the baby. Since the incident that landed you in the hospital you haven’t heard from her and she’s not been around. You were cautiously optimistic you wouldn’t hear from her.
Jensen insisted you two moved forward with the wedding plans. “Y/N I want nothing more than to marry you. I don’t want her to cast a shadow over our relationship and our marriage. Let’s set a date and start planning.” He said taking your hand. You smiled and shook your head yes. He cupped your face and kissed you softly.
“You know the area better than I do, where would you want to have the wedding” you asked him. “Honestly if you’re okay with it I was thinking the brewery. It has plenty of space and the area is beautiful. We can have the ceremony outside and the reception inside.” He said with a little hesitation. “It’s your choice though. I don’t care where we get married as long as I get to marry you.” He said with a smile. “Honey, it’s not just my choice. This is OUR wedding and I want us both to make the important decisions” you said kissing his lips. “So, has the brewery ever hosted a wedding before” you asked. “No, but it’s something we’ve always wanted to do.” Jensen said looking at you. “Well, let’s do it then. Our wedding being there will be a perfect opportunity to show how beautiful a wedding there could be. I’m sure people will try to book it for their wedding before we can even say I do.” You said laughing.
“I swear you’re an angel, Y/N. Even though this is our wedding you’re still thinking about other people’s happiness and livelihood. I love you so much.” Jensen said kissing your lips. “I love you too baby” you said.
So what time of year were you thinking” you asked. “How about tomorrow” he said with a smirk. You rolled your eyes and smiled. “Well since it’s going to be outside I say we have it closer to Fall so it will be a bit cooler.” You said. “How about the day we met in October? What about October 12th” he said. “That’s perfect and we will never forget the date” you said winking at him. It was mid February so you felt like you had plenty of time to plan. You also were hoping the baby situation would be resolved before then. “So now all that’s left for us to do is tell our families we’ve set a date and start planning. I hope Gen can help as much as possible” you said. “Babe, is this gonna be a suit and tie kinda wedding or nice shirt and slacks” Jensen asked. “I think more casual and laid back. I have a dress idea in mind so that would fit perfectly with the theme. You can wear a simple shirt and slacks. No need to wear a suit and be uncomfortable.” You said laying your head on his shoulder. “I love that idea sweetheart. Keeping it laid back and comfortable is going to be so great.” He said.
You started texting family and friends letting them know you’ve set a date. Gen offered to help with anything you needed. As you’re texting Jensen’s phone rang. He answered it and you could tell from his end of the conversation it was his attorney. “Yes, oh that’s great. Yeah I can be there soon. Okay, yeah. See you then” he said before he hung up. You looked at him and he looked a little nervous. “So they have Ashley in custody and they have the DNA from the baby. They need me down at the hospital to give a DNA sample to see if I’m the father.” He said looked at you. Your heart was beating fast and panic started rising through your body. You spoke softly “okay. Go to the hospital so we can find out if the baby is yours or not. We need to know no matter the outcome.” You looked at him and tears pricked your eyes. You knew he didn’t betray you, but this situation still hurt. Jensen walked over to you and pulled you into his strong arms. Rubbing your back he kissed your head. “I love you so much, and whatever the outcome that’s not going to change it. Come with me please.” He said as he kissed you. You nodded yes and started to get ready to leave.
You sent Gen a text to let her know what was going on. She told you she’d meet you at the hospital if you needed her and you said you were fine, but thank you. The ride to the hospital was quiet. Tension crackling in the air. Jensen was nervous. His leg kept bouncing as he drove. You just stared out the window trying not to cry. Jensen pulled into the hospital and parked. He took your hand and held you as the two of you walked in the hospital. His attorney met you two at the entrance and took you to the lab. Once in the lab they swabbed the inside of his cheek gathering as much DNA as they could. The lab technician told Jensen there was a rush put on the test and the results should be back in a few hours. Jensen thanked them and walked out.
You stood and he took your hand. “They said it should be a few hours before we know.” He said walking out with you. “Okay, hopefully we hear something soon.” You said nervously. “Is she still here at the hospital” you asked his attorney. “Yeah, she has to stay for observation after the procedure for at least a night. She’s guarded so she’s not going anywhere.” The attorney said. “Jensen, I want to go talk to her.” You said looking at him. “Are you sure” he asked you. You nodded yes. He asked his attorney if it was okay and he said he didn’t see why not. The three of you returned to the hospital and you rode the elevator to the floor she was on.
Stepping off the elevator your stomach was doing flips. You were nervous but you needed to speak to her. Jensen held your hand as you approached the door. The police officer and Jensen’s attorney talked for a second and then they motioned you towards them. “You ready sweetheart” Jensen asked walking towards the door. You shook your head yes. Jensen pushed open the door and you heard the fetal monitor and heard the rapid heartbeat of the baby. A lump formed in your throat.
Ashley looked up and saw Jensen first. “Oh my god. You came back to me. I knew you loved me and you would do the right thing” she said smiling at him. Then you stepped out from behind him. Her eyes narrowed and she hissed “what the hell is she doing here”. “I’m here to talk to you. Jensen and I have talked and if this baby is his then he will step up and be there for him. Any decisions about him will be left up to the both of you. However, you will have to respect me as his wife and our family. I will respect you as the baby’s mother, but you will not try to put a wedge between Jensen and I. It’s not going to work. If you can’t respect that then we will have no choice but to set up a visitation arrangement where someone else brings the child to Jensen.” You told her standing between her and Jensen. You weren’t going to let her intimidate you.
She huffed at you and said fine. Ashley looked at Jensen and said “hey Jens do you want to feel him kick” You cringed when she called him Jens. He looked at her and then at you. “Honey if you want to you can. It’s fine” you said offering him a soft smile. “Ashley, I think it’s better if I don’t. I want to know if the child is mine before I start getting involved” Jensen said looking at her. You thought to yourself “oh thank god”. You felt horrible for thinking it, but the thought of him touching her made you sick to your stomach. She pouted but didn’t push him.
“Honey, we need to leave. We’ve got plans tonight” you said wrapping your arm around his. He leaned in and kissed your head. “We will talk to you later Ashley. Once we get the results we’ll be in touch” you said looking at her. “Have a good night and get some rest” Jensen said. “Bye Jens. We love you” She said rubbing her belly. You gripped his arm tightly and walked towards the door.
Once outside the room you let out the breath you had been holding. Jensen pulled you into his arms and held you tight. You sobbed. So overwhelmed with seeing her, hearing the heartbeat and scared the baby is his. The possibility seemed to be better than you thought. You were scared. Even though he said it wouldn’t change anything you knew it would. You would have to put up with the woman who assaulted you for the sake of the child. You wanted her out of your lives. Now it seemed like she was there for the rest of your lives.
Once you calmed down you and Jensen left the hospital and headed home. The drive home was quiet. Jensen nervously bit his lip and you sat staring out the window. When you got home you both walked the house and kicked off your shoes. You both collapsed on the couch. Jensen took you in his arms and you laid your head on his chest. “We’re going to get through this together baby. I promise. I love you and I intend on spending the rest of my life showing you how much I do.” He kissed your lips. First it was soft and gentle. Then he kissed you deeply and the kiss became more passionate.
His hands tugged at the hem of your shirt and then under it. You gasped at his touch. His hands roamed up and over your breasts. He pulled your bra down and rolled your nipple between his fingers. Your head flew backwards and you let out a loud moan.
You helped him remove your shirt and he unhooked your bra exposing your breasts to the chilly air. He removed his shirt and you straddled him. You moved your hips down onto him. Jensen’s hands ran down your back and pulled you into a kiss. As he pulled away he bit your bottom lip. You moaned. You stood and removed your pants and soaking wet panties. Jensen removed his pants and boxers exposing his hard cock. You bit your bottom lip as you looked at him. You straddled him again and used a hand to help guide him through your folds. You slowly slid down his shaft as you felt yourself stretching around him. Jensen and you moaned as you pushed down all the way. You put your hands on the back of his neck and he dug his fingers into your hips. You began bouncing up and down taking him in as deep as you could. The sounds of moaning and flesh hitting flesh filled the air. Jensen quickly turned and laid you on the couch and began thrusting deeper into you. You reached your hand between you and Jensen and started rubbing your clit. You felt the coil tightening and your walls clenching around Jensen. His thrusts got deep and fast helping you chase your release. “Jens I’m close” you panted out. “I know darlin, I am too. Cum for me” he said as he quickened his pace. Your walls clenched as you came hard. Jensen followed you and came deep inside. Grunts and moans echoed through the house. As you both came down from your high Jensen got up and grabbed a washcloth to clean you both up. He laid beside you on the couch and kissed you softly.
“I love you Y/N” Jensen whispered. “I love you too, Jensen” you said as you snuggled into his arms. Being in his arms you felt safe and truly loved. Jensen grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and covered the both of you. He started rubbing your back as you buried your face in the crook of his neck. You breathed in taking in his intoxicating smell. You both sighed softly and you giggled a little. Jensen smiled.
Jensen pulled you as close as he could and the two of you laid in the comfortable silence that fell in the house. You closed your eyes starting to drift off to sleep when the silence was broken by the ringing of the phone. Jensen growled and pulled you close. You giggled “babe you need to answer your phone. It could be important”. He sighed and sat up grabbing his phone. He looked at the caller ID and shot you a look. The look sent a flood of panic through you. You sat up pulling the blanket over your body. Jensen answered the phone. “Yes this is he. Okay. Yes I understand. Okay, so it’s accurate. Right, will you let the attorneys involved know.” His end of the conversation instantly told you the results were in. His face was stone. No emotion and no indication of what the results were. Your heart beat so fast you heard it thumping in your ears. You felt nauseous and a lump formed in your throat watching him. Jensen thanked the person on the phone and hung up. Your y/c/e eyes met his and he bit his lip. “Um, that was the lab. The DNA results are back.” He said looking at you. You tried to study his expression but he was unreadable. You took his hand and said “Jens, remember we are in this together. Whatever the results we will deal with this together.” You said on the verge of tears. Jensen took a deep breath “the results are….
To be continued………
Forever tags: @nescaveckdaily @nescaveckwriter @kr804573 @jensengirl83 @k-slla @jackles010378 @jawritter @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @roseblue373
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lesbiradshaw · 1 year
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every time theo ends up saving liam’s life it’s by pulling him to safety from behind… something to be said about liam silently trusting theo enough to give him his back (and theo’s unspoken willingness to have it even at the expense of his own safety).
#you can have my back any day. or you know. you could have mine.#something something you can be my wingman anytime bullshit you could be mine#sorry but ‘ive got your six’/battle boyfriends/girlfriends is one of my fav dynamics#i have one ship type at the end of the day….#im not dying for you. im not dying for you either. but i will fight with you. lets fight.#guys… that was their mid fight oath to each other….#theo in memory found: wraps his arms around liam from behind to drag him into the elevator away from the riders#theo in triggers: standing behind liam. pulls him to the side by his arm to keep him away from nolan and figure out whats wrong#theo in werewolves of london: walks up behind liam in the locker room and keeps him from killing gabe/doing something else he might regret#(side note the shot of their faces beside each other in the mirror is sooooo symbolic of theo being liam’s voice of reason in a lot of 6b)#theo in wolves of war: tackles liam from behind to keep the hunters from shooting him#ALSO theo in wolves of war: positions himself between the hunters and liam as they’re both running away so he can push him ahead/shield him#taking damage he probably could have avoided had he just ducked#LIKE. yeah. theo will probably never admit it but he is so protective in his own convoluted emotionally repressed way#and liam lets him do it also in his own convoluted emotionally repressed way bc he doesn’t HAVE to give theo his back or the room to be the#one that comes to his rescue#they are partners !#:( my sons i miss them#thiam#theo raeken x liam dunbar#theo x liam#theo raeken/liam dunbar#theo/liam#teen wolf
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swiftietartt · 24 days
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‘playing with the boys’ playing over the basketball scene was crazy like okay y’all have been top gun gays from DAY ONE
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serkonans · 5 months
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so frustrated bc I need to break up w my personal trainer fr But he's experienced w helping people recover from injury and I want him to coach me through getting back into lifting after top surgery
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lionofstone · 1 year
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listen i had read a lot of 911 fanfiction before i started the show so i know a lot of what’s to come and when Buck and Abby were talking and he goes “I’ve got your back, okay?” and she did not say one single thing my jaw actually dropped
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arthur-r · 9 months
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my mom has been making friends with the parents of my little sisters friends, and one of her closest friends now of all time is this really nice lady sara who is like. a social worker who’s really good with like emotions and stuff and she is also super much accepting of queer and trans and disability issues, and basically she asked for my preferred name and pronouns and basically now my mom has started gendering me correctly to win points with her friend and honestly it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. we just watched a 1 year on testosterone singing voice changes video, together as a group of three people, and my mom had to be fake supportive because of her friend and slowly but surely just cause of how she’s making herself actually pay attention and listen, my mom is actually coming around really good and i’m excited.
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SO! I've wanted to talk about The Clip all day but felt like I should wait until the tumblr "premiere" (even though I think you were literally one of the first people to see it on Twitter lol). Thank you for defending my honor btw even if I am just Someone <3
But. Yes. Yeah. Yokoyama's absolute certainty in saying that??? Without anything to even buffer it? No maybe. No "don't expect too much." Just point-blank in front of a huge fan (whom I believe he's now going to be working with), a staff member, and a massive audience. As if that part isn't the matter of contention. I WILL be injecting those words directly into my veins for some time.
I was on the verge of choking and/or spewing blood and/or crying before posting it though lol, so I really appreciate the vote of confidence regarding the translation and I love your redraw! The reception as a whole has been really nice, although I wish people would keep it to themselves if they'd rather have Nishiki or Ryuji back or whatever. Not like it's a race, but even if it was, Mine's been in last place for ages lol.
And while I enjoy Y3's writing more than most, Mine's death wasn't some Grand Meaningful Statement, it was the decision of a fledgling studio that never knew if it would be able to keep making these games trying to tell a self-contained story. It did have far-reaching consequences for the series, but those consequences are also... not really relevant anymore?
Like, I can and have argued that Mine's death caused the fall of the Tojo Clan, but the clan has already fallen. So I don't see why some people are acting like revisiting his character would be A Spit In The Face to the saga somehow, but I guess I've never really been against characters being brought back...? A quote from the staff that's always stuck with me from the staff is that RGG is always going for RGG-ism, not realism.
Ranting aside... I honestly don't know if I should be saying this, but there's this new guy working the counter at Survive in some LaD8 behind the scenes footage. Now, upfront, I'm 99.8% sure it's not Mine (I happen to have a 100% accuracy rate so far identifying major RGG characters from extremely blurry images and silhouettes lmao), and I have no idea who it is, whether it's a new character or an old one heavily redesigned or Just Some Guy.
But he's not Kashiwagi. And he happens to have slicked-back dark brown hair with what appears to be an ahoge in some angles. And, unless the materials are temporary, he also dresses A Lot Like the celebrity Mine's design was based on. And his features... line up closely enough to piss me off, even though they don't fully match in the end, which is why I don't think it's him.
I'm in argumentative essay mode 100% of the time which is why I'm saying this in a "convincing" tone despite literally not believing it myself, but like... wouldn't that be something? To just have Mine part-timing at Survive or whatever and no one makes a big deal of it because they don't know any better? If nothing else, I really do think he should get The Bartender Treatment.
I dunno, I might post about it with a comparison tomorrow because it's been on my mind lately, especially with The News, but I really don't want people to get the wrong idea either. Or embarrass myself if it was too tenuous of a link to look that deeply into from the start lol
I remember seeing it two minutes after you posted it, so I can imagine I was one of the first to the scene of the crime (so my friends put it LMAO). AND OF COURSE I- and a lot of us- can't be any more grateful for all the work you do than we already are. I'd go insane trying to document and manage everything you do! especially when you have insane people like me ready to pounce on the smallest thing like I know I'd cry FJLKAJ The least I can do is give a proper title/credit to you when I can o7
If Yokoyama had any remaining hesitance about Mine being alive, then he REALLY would have fumbled by sounding so certain. Like in his old tweet, he certainly sounded more ambiguous, but this time he really had no extra notes and sounded more sure of himself. I won't expect RGG to do anything with Mine, but the concept is still very much exciting and the idea that Yokoyama almost seems earnest about the idea of bringing Mine back for whatever reason is very nice to know :] And thank you about enjoying the art I did! I can't lie in the slightest, since the last ask where you alluded to posting the clip, I had that drawing saved in the back of my head ready to make once you had that posted LMAO
But oohh not to touch drama since I generally try to Not touch it, but yeah I can't act like I haven't seen some people be. ""Interesting"" about the idea of Mine being alive. I won't dive too deep into it, but I think my major issue with the few grievances I've seen is that RGG hasn't done anything with Mine's alive status. As of right now, it's just a thing Yokoyama said, so I don't understand the need to be so angry about it (it's especially weird to say Ryuji hasn't been back when he not only got to be a playable protagonist in Dead Souls, but he was also the protagonist of RGGO- though I suppose I can understand wanting him in the mainline series again. Still, it's weird to act as though Mine's back any more than he is and being upset about it just because Yokoyama said he was alive)...
Moving on though, I'm really curious as to this 'mystery figure' you mean. I've been missing out on LaD8 production material, so I haven't seen this bit myself but I'd love to take a stab at it and analyze myself too. I agree though: if Mine does come back- whether he's working at Survive or anywhere else- I would greatly prefer if he had The Bartender status and was just never really called attention to and only existed in the background
#long post#snap chats#it'd be hilarious if mine came back and he was just there... just slap glasses o him and call it a day#like pleeaaasssee that'll be so funnyy if he does come back in LaD8 i dont want a dramatic reveal or whatever#i want the exact same shit like with kashiwagi just have the gang like. visit daigo and co at the security company#and the bitch at the front desk You Wouldnt Fucking Believe It Oh My God#i'd laugh so loud oh my god pleaaase yokoyama do it. you should also make ryuji just a random takoyaki salemen in 8#just so we're covering our bases here because im a ryuji-just-sells-octopus-balls truther#oh but on Mine's Death Fucked With The Tojo i definitely support the notion that he was a huge. Forgive The Pun asset to it#like i guess there's a lot of speculation and suggestions- at least on my end- when it coems to mine's importance#i mean we KNOW he was incredibly impotrant financially if katsuragi was anything to go off of#and listen ik i make the Widow Daigo joke a lot but geniunely i can imagine if daigo lost someone close to him he wouldnt be 100%#liiiiikkee i'll reserve the rant/ramble for my Daigo Essay but im just saying it cant be easy running a ship on your own with no real peers#yk cause pretty much everyone was older than him or only there for an ulterior motive and Blah Blah ill save the rest for another day#im rambling as is LMAO and i dont wanna say anythin FOOLISH#but yeah on mine coming back tho i dont think itd really tarnish any kind of thing his death could have done#like he died. or 'died'. 15 years ago (at the time of 2024)#the tojo's long gone by then it's been gone for five years at that point so it's not like mine would just Resume As Usual#he'd be starting over just as much as the other tojo clan members are yk what i mean#like i really cant think of. what else mine's death has done for the franchise that wolud be 'undone' if he was back#so yk. Why Not. it'd be funny and i think that's the only thing that matters ☠️ my dedication to the bit lets me forgive Insane Shit LMAO#but thats enough blabbering from meeeee thank you for writing in !
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actualtoad · 2 years
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my parents are fighting
#it had been a couple days and now my dad is really pissed#im just tired of all of it#im working on writing thank you cards to my teachers but im not feeling any positive energy anymore#so i think im going to just stop for now? but maybe i can finish before i go to sleep#they could keep this up forever though#im going to turn on some white noise because i don’t think i can deal with music right now but i could really use some sounds#anyway im doing okay i just kind of. have to complain to someone when there starts being screaming in my house?#because otherwise i end up feeling like im making it all up but my dad is SCREAMING at my mom calling her boring and unforgiving and#telling her to leave him the f*ck alone. so. that’s the vibe out here#they moved downstairs but the layer of floor does NOTHING. wait do you know what my dad sounds like#marlin when he’s yelling at nemo like toward the beginning of the movie my dad sounds like him#making the most of a bad situation with movie references#anyway i really want my dad to leave HER the f*ck alone actually. he’s calling her malevolent but he’s the one yelling and intimidating her#it’s not. fair. to decide that she’s a terrible problem when this is what happens whenever he gets upset at her. i just want her to get out#honestly. and i want them to get back divorcing please!!!! why did you guys stop doing that it was a good friggin idea#i told my mom that i didn’t want them to. back when she was first talking about it. but now i really wish she had#we can’t really afford for her to have her own apartment though so idk what would even happen. i just want it to end#anyway im fine but just. yeah. im going to turn on some music i think actually. and i think keep writing#me. my post. mine.#delete later#vent cw#don’t let me kill the mood this is just. a general vent because it’s kind of infuriating having this constantly in the periphery#i want a hug. and im tired. and i want to go home. but. im okay and im going to listen to music and everything’s fine
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Why am I flipping tf out over my roommate going into my room when I wasn't home and leaving a package on my bed it's literally not a big deal and they were trying to be helpful but I am shaking right now I should be happy I got my new favorite shirt but I'm so angry
#Like genuinely seething with rage over something so innocuous I shouldn't be angry#But at the same time I'm like...#The door was shut. When did I ever say you could come in here (I didn't). I wasn't home. Don't touch my stuff. You could have left it#Outside the door. My room is a mess and they saw. AND DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF#I feel like I shouldn't have to sit them down and be like 'hey I don't want you going in my room when I didn't say you could go in there'#Like I feel like that's common sense when u live with other people but I guess not?????#Like it really bothers me cuz I'd NEVER go into someone's room when they weren't there w/o express permission#Fucks sake I linger outside the doorway til they say I can come in when they are there and we're talking#I feel like that's just basic decency because it's their space#Why can't you respect mine and not go in my room when you don't have permission?????#At least text me first????!#THE DOOR WAS SHUT THATS WHAT'S REALLY BOTHERING ME#THE DOOR WAS SHUT WHY WOULD YOU LOOK AT A CLOSED DOOR TO SOMEONE'S BEDROOM AND JUST WALK IN WITHOUT EVER ASKING#Sorry. I know I'm being super irrational right now#I just. My mom used to go through my stuff when I lived at home and throw out whatever she wanted#She would wait until I left the house and then throw things out and leave the rest in a giant pile of trash on the floor#It was always when I was having a decent day too. She'd treat me totally normally the whole way home and then I'd walk into my room to it#Absolutely destroyed and her response was always a cool 'well you should have cleaned it then'#I used to have to dig through the garbage to get the stuff I had attachments to back#She once threw out an entire shoebox filled with my drawings because it was 'too messy' but literally the lid was slightly askew from being#Overfilled. Instead of getting me a bigger container or another shoebox she just fucking tossed it#I lost so much childhood art from that it's part of the reason I refuse to throw anything I've ever drawn away#Anyway this is why I'm overreacting and being irrational and not letting people walk all over me with no complaints#Don't worry though I'm working on squishing any other reservations I have about being a doormat#That way in a couple more years I'll just be a shell of a person and then people will finally like having me around#AJDGDHDHDBMSBDGDJDHDBDMDBDBDN#Grumble grumble
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