#you are completely right I'm a horrible influence
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I know it wasn't intended by the writers and even from a purely in universe perspective it was likely not a conscious decision but...
It really does feel like Andre was setting Chloe up for failure.
There's obviously letting doing Sabrina most of Chloe's labor for her thing.
But we also have that whole aspect where he taught her explicitly to cheat, extort, threaten and bribe her way to victory. A strategy that works for him because he's not doing that stuff to the people he wants to vote for him, but that ends up making Chloe hated by her peers.
Similarly, there's encouraging her Audrey impersonation, which even if we ignore the creep factor. Still means he is rewarding her for engaging in damaging and anti social behavior that only serves to make her miserable and more dependent on him.
His total tolerance for Audrey's overt cruelty towards her can also feel like it feeds into this. Again I don't think he is necessarily aware of or planning it, but this still serves to, A, not make Audrey upset with him, and B, mean he remains Chloe's primary source of affirmation and affection.
Add in him in season 1 being willing to act against her if she impacted 'him' negatively and it really does kind of feel like he, at least subconsciously, wanted Chloe to need to hang off of him forever and to generally lack other support networks or avenues of self sufficiency.
I mean, yes. There's a reason I'm very much on the 'Audrey's behavior is bad and abusive, but André's is worse' wagon.
Audrey is openly abusive to those around her, that is clear. She also wants absolutely nothing to do with kids. She removes herself from her daughters lives. She does it out of selfishness, but the net result is she she does not *make* herself a role model.
André on the other hand loves having a kid! They play great with the press. They make for awesome photo opportunities, and now and then he can play family just like in movies! What he doesn't like is *raising* a kid. He himself is horrible an self centered, so he doesn't think that maybe he needs to change his behaviors for the child, so he passes all of his Andreness on to them.
I know guys who were pretty useless until they had a kid, I know guys who are pretty useless with anything that *isn't their kid, but both groups still realize that *parenting* is something you have to do right, something worth changing or at least concealing your worst-self behaviors from. André can't even go that far.
André goes past 'oops haha silly me' or 'overworked parent' tropes too. The man is filthy rich. He could *make* time for his daughter if he wanted to. He also fails so completely on the very basics of parenting when *he has the resources to get help*. It shows he hasn't even really tried.
Well, he tries like a 4yr old tries when they don't want to do something. One half-hearted attempt, then they whine.
How do we have obvious proof, canonically, that this is on André? Look at Zoé. She had as much if not more contact with Audrey, and we are not giving her credit for being a *good* influence, are we? So then it comes down to the influence of the other parent, and what differences does canon show us there? Hmmm.
Look like André is a net negative in a child's life.
Oh and miss me anyone who claims children are just 'bad seeds'. That line of thinking can go jump in a wood chipper.
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the thing about voting for president in america is that, if you have decided it is morally wrong to vote for a person who has done or will do war crimes, or who will enable injustice in office, you cannot in good conscience ever vote again. like america is and always has been a genocidal empire that literally has always existed as an imperialist illegitimate state built on conquest and exploitation. morally "pure" participation in our political system simply is not a realistic thing to strive for.
as a citizen in america, you will both suffer from the consequences of local inequality/resource injustice and reap the benefits of being a part of the imperial core. this is inevitable. this is a way in which you will be part of the political system regardless of if you purport to abstain. not voting is not a conscientious objection to the system. it is a choice to continue to exist in a system, but give up any influence you may have over it.
like, withholding your vote/voting undecided in the primaries does send a meaningful message i think. but in the general election? not voting or voting third party is functionally a vote for trump because of how low voter turnout favors republicans. this is not a moral judgement but a political fact. there is no functional practical way to be neutral in the upcoming presidential election.
sucks, right? it sucks! it absolutely sucks! for the record, i really don't like that this is how things are, and i do fully believe that america sorely needs electoral reform, because the current system is a fucking farce!
but that's how it is. that's the reality of being a political participant in the electoral process of an empire. there is legitimate positive change to be had through biden. there is even more horrible negative consequences that will result from another trump presidency.
i'm not a fan of derisive posts referring to people withholding their vote because of gaza as "single issue voters." because like. yeah, actually, it IS morally defensible to have the prevention of a genocide be a single issue.
but withholding your vote for biden for gaza's sake isn't voting against gazan genocide. it's voting to intensify it. it's voting to end any chance at american pressure being put on israel to end it in the next four years.
and i understand if voting for genocide joe makes you feel dirty. i understand if you hate him. i hate him.
but being american means being a constant participant in systems that enable genocide. you pay taxes. you buy phones. this is not a moral judgement, but an emphasis that to attempt to absolve yourself of sin by divesting completely from any individual choice tainted with imperialism is a fool's errand. drawing the line at voting is simply not a rational ethical choice.
your individual choice will not make the genocide stop. collective action and other unified political strategies are infinitely more useful than withholding votes in the general election
and while you're doing those, show up to the polls in november and vote for biden.
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Y'know I'm not going to go and argue with people but I'm. kinda weirded out by the "Shen Yuan's family was actually neglectful/awful/abusive" takes? Because we have a story where:
a point is made about cycles of violence and how abuse creates more abuse (with Qiu Jianluo - Shen Jiu - Bing-ge sequence).
a point is made about how the person can turn out very differently depending on their environment growing up (with differences between Bing-ge and Bing-mei).
And like... how does one look at those two points, then at Shen Yuan saying he had a loving family, and forgoes the obvious conclusion - that growing up in a stable home is what sets him apart in the world of PIDW (including from literal author of the world who is a lonely and embittered child of the divorce!) and allows him to change it with the power of love & kindness & bonding with people - in favor of deciding that his family was ~actually~ horrible?..
In that case, what makes him capable of breaking the cycle? Some kind of innate goodness or kindness? That, for some reason, no other character happened to possess? Right. Nice going completely devaluing Shen Jiu's tragedy.
To explain the last point: we get a lot of backstory for Shen Jiu, and the obvious takeaway from it is that he was not born a scum villain. That he did have a desire to do (and be) good, but it just couldn't flourish - because of a combination of terrible circumstances of his youth, his personal flaws, and the demands of the meta-narrative.
Thing is... two of those problems, he shares with Shen Yuan. Shen Yuan has his own personal flaws aplenty, even if they differ from Shen Jiu's, and a literal manifestation of the meta-narrative haunting him. But, unlike Shen Jiu, he happened to have a good family. That is their fundamental difference.
If one argues that Shen Yuan's family situation actually wasn't good, then what allows him to be so different from Shen Jiu? Isn't that saying that Shen Yuan was just a good person from the start... and Shen Jiu was just a bad person from the start? you know, the exact sentiment that made Shen Jiu give up on himself? And isn't it flattening Shen Jiu's story from a tragedy of a person who was broken out of his desire to do good by his terrible circumstances, into just 'a bad guy doing bad things because he's bad'? like, exactly what Airplane did to him in PIDW...
---
But, some of you may ask, don't we have evidence that Shen Yuan wasn't actually very happy in his past life?
Thing is, I don't disagree with that! I just think it didn't necessarily have anything to do with the quality of his home life.
For starters, having a loving family is not everything. Like, even if you just look at Maslow's pyramid, "love and belonging" is actually in the middle of the thing. Shen Yuan could have a perfectly fine, caring family and still be unfulfilled on "esteem" (recognition and respect from other ppl + personal feelings of accomplishment) and "self-actualization" (becoming the best possible version of himself) levels.
And that's before we factor in that he's a(n obviously if you read between the lines) queer dude who grew up in a country that criminalizes queerness which is something I don't see brought up a lot in discussions of the strength of his internalized homophobia, and the possibility that he is an undiagnosed neurodivergent person (i personally hc him as having adhd-I, i know there are also ppl with autistic headcanons, could be both, etc etc), and the influence of his social circle outside his family (cishet dudes on the forums, from what he know, so not the most positive and uplifting bunch)...
---
Lastly, while I think the thematic evidence from the first half of this meta is more telling, there are also a few small in-text details that prove Shen Yuan's words about how close-knit his family was.
First, the way he compares Yue Qingyuan to his older brothers in the very beginning, at the time he is still finding his footing and YQY is the one person looking out for him. (On the subject of SY!SQQ and YQY, just read this post, I won't be able to put it better.) Shen Yuan is explicitly "feeling at home in the atmosphere of brotherly love".
Second, the fact that we know he read his younger sister's danmei novels. On Shen Yuan's side, literally how committed he had to be to supporting his sister's interests, when we know from being in his head how determined he is about playing ostrich with anything and everything gay. No shit he spoiled her, I believe that one hundred percent. And on his sister's side, the level of trust she has towards her brother? Having full confidence that she could make him read gay bdsm and he wouldnt love her any less?..
---
So yeah, I think all signs point to Shen family being as close-knit and loving as Shen Yuan says.
#svsss#svsss meta#shen yuan#shen yuan's family#shen qingqiu#shen jiu#(i guess since i went on a mini rant about him in the middle)#scum villain's self-saving system#scum villain's self saving system#danmei novels#mxtx
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Online aesthetics and the effects of social media trends
Let's talk about this.
How it can affect young teenagers
Open Tiktok or Instagram and everything on my For You Page now shows "How to achieve a Clean Girl Aesthetic"', "Old Money Aesthetic Hairstyles", "Cottagecore Hobbies", "How to be a Femme Fatale"
It never ends. Trends keep popping up left and right and it's inescapable.
As a young, impressionable teenager, I was, of course, naturally going to be influenced by these ever-changing trends. I'd constantly change my room aesthetic, buy new clothes, and I was never satisfied with my appearance. Why? Because I didn't look like the girls on screen.
News flash. You're never going to look like them. All that content they produce which gets 100k likes is done with excessive attention to detail, expensive lighting and sound equipment, and top-notch editing software. OF COURSE, you can't look like that. It's completely manufactured. It's heartbreaking to see young girls develop body image issues because of the constant bombarding of these "aesthetics" which are basically different beauty standards and stereotypes all wrapped up in a neat little package that is labelled "personality and style". I don't have anything against the concepts of aesthetics. I love how Dark and Light Academia is centred around learning, and how Cottagecore is all about relaxation and not conforming to being part of a 9-5 and just living life. I like how the Clean Girl is focused on being healthy and productive. What I don't like is how all these healthy things, which normal functioning humans should be doing are now turned into "trends" and you must "choose" between them.
Why it's so harmful
Fashion: Since aesthetics keep changing, you're going to find multiple that appeal to you. What happens when you discover you really like cottagecore, but your closet is filled with dark academia tweed? You turn to fast fashion. It's cheap and stylish. But it's horrible for the environment and that floral dress you're wearing was made by a woman in a sweatshop in Bangladesh, while fashion giants like Shein pocket the money.
Makeup: It's always there. Always. You cannot find a "how-to" post regarding aesthetics and makeup is not included. Its always how much blush to apply, why mascara is your best friend, blah blah blah. You know what I want to see? An aesthetic which promotes a clean, fresh face. I do wear makeup, not saying I'm perfect(yes, I wear lip tint and sometimes eyeliner), but it's the ridiculous notion that there's a specific makeup look for each aesthetic, and they say it's not very heavy, but really is concealer, foundation, blush, mascara and lipgloss light makeup?
Other: Then comes the things you should own, the bags, the shoes, the jewellery, the house decor. Did you notice to achieve the look, we're spending money bit by bit? Then you don't even realise it's made a dent in your savings.
Mentality: I hate this part about aesthetics so much. A while ago, I was really interested in Dark Academia and how it was centred around learning and studying. But everything was gloomy and dark and said I should be tired and bitter to achieve this. I'm not a serious person by nature in the first place, but here were blogs telling me to be "mysterious" and how I should be getting only 4 hours of sleep to be true Dark Academia? What is this dystopia? There's this weird obsession with how someone should behave if they like an aesthetic.
Online trends are all consumerism based. It's all to get you to blow your money on things that don't even benefit you.
There's a reason I never include and never will include tags like #clean girl or #pink pilates princess in my posts because it sort of reduces you to a certain aspect. Why confine yourself to these barriers? Wear what you want. Read what you like. The one "aesthetic" I believe in, is "that girl" which in reality is different for everyone, but boils down to being educated, well-mannered, and considerate. I will make a post on this. Being educated and kind is such a flex, not wearing one flowy white dress and "thinking" you're in a meadow. Break out of the pattern of being influenced by algorithms. Don't restrict your identity because of FOMO and the urge to be trendy. You've got this.
<3
#self care#self improvement#self love#level up#level up journey#self love journey#glow up#college#tips and tricks#it girl#that girl#perfect#life#online aesthetics#online#social media#aesthetics
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ikaw at ikaw (short drabble) — in where miguel helps you calm down from a horrible migraine, with many experiences and remedies under his belt.
miguel had noticed it since way earlier in the morning. the slight wobble in your step and the way you kept furiously rubbing at your forehead, but in typical you fashion, you shut down any attempts he made at checking in on you. he tried his best to get you to opt out of this mission, but you were too persistent, and too pretty to dismiss. you really were going to be the death of him.
trust me when i say that he tried, many, many times to get you to take a break. he was really starting to worry if he had a bad influence on you, is this what you felt like when you told him to stop overworking himself? by god, it was horrible.
so when you come back on the verge of passing out, miguel doesn't whip out any 'i told you so's or any condescending remarks. he is escorting you to the nearest couch, safe in his office where it's dark and quiet.
this wasn't the first time that he'd dealt with migraines before, his hypersensitive senses had induced so many nauseous and dizzy nights for him so obviously he came equipped just in case he or anyone else had ever experienced it too.
painkillers, hot tea, hot or cold compress, sleep mask, soft pillow, and blanket. complete sensory deprivation.
"being so nice to me, migs..." you spoke, delirium clouding your voice as the medicines had begun to kick in. the sleep mask was half draped over one of your eyes, the blanket tucked up all the way to your neck. "love it when you take care of me,"
"no necesitas darme las gracias, corazón." he presses his hand to your forehead, your body temperature was consistent throughout the day which meant that this wasn't predetermining a fever to his fortune. "i told you to rest so many times, but you didn't listen to me."
"i'm sorry," you whine, reaching out to rub his forearm apologetically. "i didn't want to miss work, i thought it was just another headache."
he stops your gesture and cups your hand, his engulfing yours. "i'd let you miss work over a stomach ache, you know that, right?" he squeezes your hand. "i already let you have, multiple times actually."
"that's why i stayed," you groan, "i felt guilty because- it seemed unfair. i didn't want special treatment because we're, you know... we're–" you make a kiss-y gesture with both of your hands and miguel has to bite back a smile.
"uh huh."
"you know what i mean!" you flop your hands down in defeat, "what if people notice that you favor me over them? ... you do favor me over them?"
"of course, i do. but you're not getting special treatment." he explains bluntly, "i wouldn't let you just walk off a splitting migraine—"
"you let peter walk off that one time he busted his knee."
"walk him off to the infirmary, sweetheart." he rests his elbow on the arm rest of the sofa, laying his head on his fist. "i'm not that mean. if anyone's hurt, they need to be checked. whether it's a broken rib or chest pains, that includes you too."
you look up at him with so much admiration. maybe he did just say that you're not getting any special treatment despite being all kissy kissy with him, but still. the compassion that he holds towards each spider is underappreciated, and you're lucky that you're the only one seeing this side of him.
"... but, you're giving me all of your stuff to help with my migraine. isn't that special treatment?"
he smiles before planting a very brief kiss on your lips, "that's a secret."
guess who had a really bad migraine today... this guy....
#spiderman: across the spiderverse#across the spiderverse#spiderverse#atsv#spiderman#spiderman 2099#spiderman 2099 x reader#miguel o’hara#miguel o’hara x reader
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Sure, therapist Nahida sounds nice. But have you thought about good coping mechanism Nahida and bad coping mechanism Wanderer healing together?
There's something nice about her giving it to him straight, without coddling him or trying to get a result from helping him or looking down at him like the other people in his past did. She still let him believe that she was doing it for her own benefit cause she knows that he feels guilt for his deeds and his feelings towards others and he wouldn't belive her if she claimed otherwise. She doesn't want to push him to far out of his comfort zone and she doesn't need him to believe that she's trying to help because she doesn't need the affirmation that she's a good person, she doesn't push her insecurities onto him. She tries to both encourage him to walk out of his comfort zone and establish bountries.
I really like the scene where she practicaly tells him: "You were a bad person and you did horrible things and you have to own up to the shitty things you've done."
She's also probably the only person in Teyvat that completely understands him. She was also deemed unworthy of the title of an Archon, she was also deemed too little and not enough for her caretakers at the time. She was also discarded by the people that were meant to assist her growth. She was also replaced with a "better" option. I am fully aware that they also share differences, but I believe those differences are meant to show us an alternate ending to either story. Nahida was never coddled, which lead to her having doubts about herself and trying to please others and resulted in her growing a little on her own. Wanderer grew dependent on his emotional bonds with the people that cared for him and ended up taking their loss too hard and stalling his growth. Nahida met the right people that helped her through a difficult time, both physicaly and emotionaly. Wanderer met Dottore, who manipulated him and made him worse. Dottore was an enabler to Wanderer and a bad influence. And that might be a stretch, but I believe that the meeting between Rukkhadevata and Nahida could have been the meeting between Wanderer and Makoto.
Idk, I could be wrong, but I don't like it when there's a singular interpretation of the relationship between two characters. I'm also not a fan of how we forcfully speedgrow Nahida and how the "baby" metaphore in Wanderer's lore is only ever used to say he's a shotacon or smth. I like the complexity of these characters too much to only have one opinion for them. I also like the idea that Nahida is also self-healing by helping Wanderer, who is kinda like a man-child at times.
#the painkillers are working wonders this time#positive menstual symptoms#should have found this brand earlier#nahida#nahida genshin#genshin impact#scaramouche#scaramouche genshin impact#wanderer#wanderer genshin#il dottore#il dottore genshin#dottore#sumeru#sumeru archon quest#wanderer story quest#character analysis#aja out#edit:#dottore-> andrew tate & wanderer-> andrew tate fan real#trust/j#i can't get enough of the things i learn about dottore and wanderer#i hate/love toxic (non-romantic/non-sexual) relationships cause there's so much to talk about#but also healing relationships are so cathartic and i must also talk about them#i'll squeeze the three of them in my palms so hard they're gonna turn into diamonds
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What could have been: sympathizing with Ed in season 2
I've talked before about how much I love Ed and all his complexity. I've written more fanfic about him and Izzy than any other characters, in my entire history of fandom. And unlike many people, I wasn't unprepared for the dark direction his arc took in season 2; I wanted him to commit MORE atrocities, and I happily made comparisons between him and another one of my favorite characters, Hannibal Lector.
But one of the key things I wanted after he committed atrocities was for him to feel bad about it. And I thought we'd see that! After all, S1 Ed was so tormented about killing his dad (who was abusive and violent towards) him that he never killed (directly) again! He was so broken up about trying to kill Stede in s1e6 that he ended up crying in a bathtub. Just like he cried in the window sill after committing all the kraken horrors in s1e10. It seemed like this was a guy scared of his own inner darkness, convinced he was a monster, who would go around saying things like "I'm not a good person" and "You were always going to realize who I am."
And so even when s2 went darker than anyone expected—when he cut off more of Izzy's toes, and shot him in the leg, and made crewmen fight to the death for experiencing love, and sailed the entire ship into a storm to murder-suicide his crew—I was still ready to accept all that moral ambiguity and give him a hug afterwards. Because of course, I figured that after Ed was brought out of that dark place and those suicidal urges, he would feel horrible remorse. How could he not?
I was looking forward to seeing him break down crying, convinced he was an irredeemable, unforgivable monster. (Which of course, would make it all the more touching when people inevitably did forgive him, and when he did redeem himself). Maybe Ed would even go too far with trying to atone, like in Mercy, one of my favorite post-s1 fics. Probably, I figured, Ed's quest for redemption would be one of the main themes in the second half of season 2.
So it was strange to watch e4, when Ed looked nothing but annoyed at everyone for chaining him up and banishing him, and then he went to hang out with his old friends like he'd done nothing wrong. When after the crew unanimously voted him out, Stede brought him back to the ship literally that same evening, and Ed saw no problem with that. Okay... maybe he's still processing?
Then e5 came, and that episode was about Ed's redemption. Yay! Except... Ed didn't seem to care? Other people made him wear the bag and the bell. He asked how long it'd take people to get over it, guessing "like a day." He gave an influencer-esque non-apology to the crew. He said "I took a man's leg" rather than calling Izzy by name. He literally doesn't remember the circumstances of pushing Lucius off the boat. He does ultimately give a real apology to Fang—for tormenting him years ago, rather than anything from his actual kraken era. I love e5 for the Izzy+Stede dynamic, but watching Ed be an unrepentant asshole here is painful. There is nothing about this that convinces me Ed wouldn't slide right back to being evil if Stede were to leave again.
And the thing is, it didn't have to be like this! We could have gotten Ed breaking down crying with guilt like in s1e6, and it would have made him much more sympathetic—not to mention the fact that Ed really is just an adorable cryer. Alternatively, we could have had some real deep diving about why Ed never apologizes (is he afraid of seeming weak?) or why he's so uncaring about others' pain (has he seen too many friends die over the years, to the point of going numb?)
By episode 6, it seems like most characters have moved on. Stede says something about Ed turning poison into positivity, which feels completely unearned. He pays for the party—but he'd previously tried to make the crew throw their cut of the loot into the ocean. He makes some attempts to best Ned and protect Stede, but Stede ends up saving the crew instead—from a pirate who only showed up in the first place because Ed was intentionally trying to piss him off. Ed is sad that Stede kills someone, and this would be a great time to again make Ed sympathetic! To have him talk about how he doesn't want that for Stede, because his own violence has weighed on him so deeply. But nope.
E6 does see Ed actually apologize to Izzy—and he's terrible at it. He's just like, "Sorry about your leg," makes no eye contact, and flees immediately afterwards. We do see some hints that this shitty apology isn't really indicative of Ed's true feelings, given how he has those flashbacks to the scenes of hurting Izzy seemingly haunting him; but it's very brief. It would be a great time to address Ed's horrific tendency towards conflict-aversion and avoiding awkward conversations in relationships—the same tendency that made s1 Ed never inform Izzy that the plan to kill Stede and the Revenge crew had changed. This would be another great opportunity to help us sympathize with Ed again—to have us see how it's not that he doesn't want to communicate these things, it's that these conversations are terribly stressful and anxiety-inducing for him. But nah, why would OFMD need to include those things for Ed?
E7 happens, and still nothing. If anything, there was a great opportunity for Ed to at least show himself to be a kind person to Stede—maybe nobly stepping in to save the day, even though he's annoyed that Stede's getting all this attention now. You know, like Stede did for him back in s1e5, when the situation was reversed. But nope, Ed runs off to be a fisherman, not having learned any of the earlier season's lessons about whims. He only stops being a fisherman because he's bad at it.
I was still hoping for something big in e8–some huge selfless, gesture that Ed would do to cover for all of his inability to do the little gestures. Ed is good at grand gestures! Swimming back to the ship after he left, then taking the Act of Grace in s1 was HUGE. Very selfless, very sweet! He could have done something like that for Izzy, Lucius, and the traumatized crew. Some kind of heroic gesture to help others more than himself. But nope. In some sense, Izzy dying is one of the greatest indications of Ed's wasted potential, because we narratively had a great opportunity for Ed to be able to save someone... but he didn't.
(Admittedly, Ed is not a complete dick here—he helps Izzy when he's limping, he says some genuinely apologetic stuff when Izzy's dying, and he finally gives Izzy his attention and care. But then after the funeral, he's still like "Well, that's that.")
It's so frustrating. It's not that I don't want to like Ed, or that I don't want to sympathize with him. I really, REALLY do! I don't even need Ed to successfully do anything to earn forgiveness! I'd take Ed trying and failing. I'd take him wanting to try, but being so convinced of his monstrousness that he never makes the attempt. But give me something. Anything other than the unexamined apathy that he has so much of the time.
The thing is, s2 lost the ability for Ed's mistreatment of people to be just another "of course he's violent, he's a pirate" quirk. They were pretty explicit about how abusive Ed was (Jim's comment in e1, the joke in e4 people assumed Ed had hit Stede) and how much he traumatized people (Lucius and the whole crew very clearly have PTSD in episodes 4 and 5). This is serious stuff, which he did to other main characters, which is going to make a lot of viewers look at him pretty harshly.
And that's manageable—Hannibal Lector managed to be most textbook-abusive asshole in the world, committing atrocities and generally being unrepentant left and right, and viewers STILL found him lovable and sympathetic. You can do that! But you need to:
a. make it clear that anyone with the relevant information calls them out for being awful, even multiple episodes later
b. make it clear that they care deeply and genuinely about their wronged loved ones
c. make them willing to actually make REAL sacrifices
I watched so many people start to dislike or outright hate Ed in season 2. It made me really sad. But I couldn't blame them for feeling that way. For all that Ed is supposedly one of the two protagonists in OFMD—a character whose mistakes should be the most understandable, whose mental state should be the most resonant—the show seemed to entirely drop the ball on writing him as such.
#edward teach#ofmd critical#ofmd season 2#ofmd season 2 spoilers#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#arguably the writers' mistake with Izzy is easier to fix in fanfiction#just undo the last 10 minutes#but now I feel like Ed fics after s2 have to fix huge chunks of his characterization#I also think it'd be more reasonable to make Ed not give a shit about the crew if the show just like... admitted that directly?#but we've got Stede making comments about Ed turning poison into positivity#we've got Izzy saying the crew loves Ed and is his family#and while it's not OOC for either of them to just be delusional and overprojecting their own love for Ed#it's weirdly unexamined#same thing with Ed's “I don't kill people thing” after he murders British officers left and right in s2e8#was Ed's whole talk with Stede in s1e6 just a lie?#obviously Ed was stretching definitions / using it as a coping mechanism but I thought he was at least telling the truth as he saw it
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Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)
Read chapter 20 here //Series Masterlist
Chapter 21
Summary : You meet Frigga and she makes it clear that she doesn't like you.
Warning: 18+, more Sex, smutty soft smut, mention of stalking, mention of psychological torture, angst, insecurities, ptsd, self deprecating behaviour, panic attack, praise kink, soft loki, sub loki (it's not mentioned but everytime they're having sex he's always using a condom )
"Okay open your eyes now ..This looks good right?" He uncovered his eyes and looked at the most gorgeous woman he had ever laid his eyes on. You.
"You look ethereal my darling"
"Awwn" you melted for a moment only to go back to stressing about the dress again.
"No but seriously, is this good for Thor's birthday party? I mean is this classy enough?"
"Define classy" he chuckled so you crossed your arms
"Why don't you have a look in the mirror?" you mumbled as you lowered down the dress from your body, you had purchased it today because Loki wanted to take you to Thor's birthday celebration, it was a full length skinny cocktail dress that seemed elegant enough or at least it did to you. Of course nobody still had any idea about you two so you were going to be there as Jane's Friend Stacy again.
"What about the gift? What could one possibly gift the god of thunder? I mean i gave a crappy dress to Jane on her birthday" You rambled on and on and when you looked at him he was just smiling as if you were the best thing in the whole nine realms.
You had also decided to tell your mother about him soon and this relationship, you knew she'd be mad but you were done hiding from her and lying to her.
As you took the dress off and stood there in your lingerie he titled his head and gawked at your figure shamelessly. It's been three weeks since you had gotten back together and he couldn't have been happier with you, everything about you made his heart skip a beat. He couldn't remember if he had ever felt such thrill and satisfaction at the same time in his life before. Satisfaction wasn't in his nature after all but with you he felt completely sated in every way a man could be sated. He loved being around you and inside you, he enjoyed having to listen to you talk for hours, every little thing you did made him fall in love even deeper than the last day.
He walked towards you and hugged you from behind before his lips latched onto your neck. You sighed and leaned your head down on his shoulder, you were a nervous wreck at the moment.
"I know you're apprehensive darling but like I have said before to you, you do not need to impress anyone there" you hummed as he said that.
"I am sorry ..i just want to blend in with those people Lo"
"I'm afraid that is impossible because you're going to stand out no matter how much you try to blend in" you turned around and got on your tiptoes to wrap your arm around his neck, his sweet words always made you feel giddy.
"I love youuu"
"I know you do"
He placed his palms under your butt and easily lifted you up before he wrapped your legs around his waist. Taking you to the sofa instead of the bed he laid you down and got on top of you.
"You're the sweetest, kindest and the most gentle man i have ever known..you know"
"So are you" you laughed as he said that and it made him smile too.
"Mmmm and you're so hot, so pretty and so sexyyyyyyy" his cheeks flushed as you said that, he always blushed at the praises as if he wasn't used to hearing such things about himself.
"Thank you princess"
"And –" before you could say something else he pressed his lips onto yours and you were just starting to enjoy the moment when you heard a knock on your door and flinched, since that horrible incident you have just been extra paranoid.
"It must be Mrs Geller Darling, no need to be afraid" he caressed your cheek softly so you nodded. You got out of his clutches to get dressed as you were in just your underwear and bra.
For a week after Ronald was arrested Loki spent every night with you but he wasn't able to get out of work related commitment one day so you spent the night at Mrs Geller but of course you couldn't just intrude her privacy like that every night and had to stay in your apartment when Loki couldn't make it even though you didn't want to be alone.
He stayed on call until you had fallen asleep, you needed to have your window shut, blinds off, the lights on and the sound of his voice on the phone speaker to put you through sleep but it was slowly starting to get better. He was gone, you had nothing to worry about. You did have a scary dream though where you saw Ronald again and in the dream you had called Stephen late at night to tell him that you were being stalked. You never understood why you were having such dreams about Stephen, maybe it was because you always thought about how disastrous that meeting was and it somehow always remained in your subconscious mind.
Next day as you reached the tower for Thor's birthday there were several people just staring at you and that made you even more anxious than usual. You met Jane as soon as you had reached and she was wearing the dress you had gifted her on the birthday.
"Y/n thank you for this, I put it on yesterday and I just knew I didn't need anything else" she told you excitedly and your eyes teared up, you didn't say anything but hugged her and then you reminded her that she was the prettiest woman at the party.
Thor and Loki weren't at the party, you hadn't seen Loki since Thor had brought you here, he did text you though that he'd be there soon. Though, you had no idea why Thor was missing from his own birthday party. You made your way to the bar and ordered an orange juice, just a minute later a man sat next to you and he ordered a drink for himself.
"Having fun?" You turned your head and you saw James. Loki had told you about him. Apparently he was the Captain's old buddy from the war time and the Winter Soldier the team had gone to retrieve a few days ago.
"I am trying" you chuckled so he smiled. Loki had also told you that he was going through intense therapy sessions almost every other day.
"What's your name? You seem familiar" he said to you.
"I do? I'm Stacy btw" you lied to him so he shrugged.
"James"
"I know"
He kept staring at you and it made you feel a bit awkward.
"Where are you from?" He asked you so you looked at him,
"I live in Minneapolis, Minnesota..been there?" You didn't know if he understood what you had said but you noticed that he seemed affected by your response.
"Minnesota? Any chance you were outside that fancy restaurant la blaire some time ago??" He asked you so you raised your brow before you remembered something. That was the restaurant where you had your first and last meeting with Stephen.
"I might have why?"
"Yeah pretty sure I hit you with my bike there a few months ago..I was confused at first but now I'm hundred percent sure" you looked at him shocked as he said that.
"Just so you know I did come back to see if you were fine but your boyfriend had it all covered so I …nice to meet you" he grabbed his drink from the bar before he walked away from you. He was the one to hit you with his bike? What was he doing there? What were the odds that it was him out of all the people that had hit you? You felt a tap on your shoulder and assuming it was James again you were ready to go off on him but you looked to the side and it was Loki instead. He was dressed in a black suit with a white button up shirt underneath, he hadn't straightened his long curls tonight and the look had somehow made him million times hotter.
"Hello miss, I saw you from a distance and couldn't help myself from approaching such a beauty" you smiled as he said that. Okay you can play the game.
"Hello sir, big fan of yours, I'm Stacy by the way" you brought your hand out so he grabbed it and gave it a formal kiss.
"So tell me Stacy, once the feast is over would you like to share a night with me in my chamber?" You gasped as he said that.
"Misster misster you are naughtayyyy" he smiled and looked around but some of the Avengers were looking at him so he walked away from you and you saw him approaching a random woman at the party and he started to flirt with her the same way and then he did the same with a few more, all of them seemed overly excited by his presence. Ofcourse, you knew he was doing it to divert the attention away from you but it still bothered you to see him flirt with other women, he kept it lowkey though, no other invitations had been sent to spend a night in his chamber, only you got it..
A few minutes later you spotted Thor along with Jane and the whole room had gotten silent all of a sudden, you looked at him and he had someone else by his side, he had his mother Frigga along with him.
Frigga the queen of Asgard.
You recognised her immediately because you had seen her on the news when Loki was hiding in your apartment.
Why didn't Loki tell you she was going to be here? You looked at him for answers but he seemed equally surprised by her appearance, his eyes were teary, there was that puppy look on his face that you loved and hated, depending on the situation, he also seemed paler than usual.
Thor introduced her to everyone and she was as elegant as you had thought her to be whenever Loki had talked about her. He was frozen in his spot and you were about to go comfort him when you saw Frigga approaching him.
"My sweet prince, have you not missed your mother?" She hugged him and you noticed how he immediately melted in her arms, he hadn't seen her in so long and he was still angry about the lies she had made him believe all his life but you could tell he had missed her motherly love and care for him. Your eyes met with Thor and he seemed happy too. You walk towards Jane and she seemed nervous too but she was excited as well.
"Did you meet her?" You asked her and she had a huge grin on her face.
"I did, I think she likes me, she gave me this" she showed you a bracelet on her wrist and it made you smile. It also looked expensive as fuck.
"This is gorgeous. Did you know she was coming here?"
"No, Thor didn't either, she just gave us all a surprise "
You sighed as she said that, well at least you weren't the only one who had no clue of her visit, if you knew you'd have prepared yourself better.
"May I have a word with you in private?" Frigga asked Loki and took him to the balcony of the lounge. You saw them from a distance, several emotions were at play here, there was crying and then they started to smile and hugged each other again but he seemed at peace and that's what mattered the most because you knew even though he hadn't said much, deep down he was struggling with this for a long time. You noticed Loki approaching you and he looked around before he held your hand and took you to the balcony. He made sure to cast an illusion so other people won't be able to see you interacting with him or Frigga.
"Mother this is y/n" he introduced you and all of a sudden you had no idea what to do or say. This wasn't your first day out in public as a human but that's exactly how you felt in the moment. You had never met a queen before so there was that.
"Hello Mrs Frigga" she raised one of her brows and you thought you had offended her so you corrected yourself "Your highness, it's an honor to meet you" you mumbled nervously again and you felt Loki's palm rubbing against your back in a comforting manner.
"Hello dear" she finally smiled but it didn't reach her eyes you could tell "Loki darling would you go bring for us something to drink? I would like to have a few words with her till then" he nodded and your heart sped faster than ever, he gave your hand a squeeze before he kissed your cheek and walked away. You smiled at her but if you were being honest to yourself you were so close to shitting your pants.
"My son is very fond of you" she said.
"Well i hope so" you chuckled and she nodded "I'm very fond of him, he is one of his kind, he's a gem" she smiled again and that made you feel a little relaxed but the feeling wasn't going to last for long.
"I know dear, he lost himself for a while but I could see him making his way back to his roots. Once his punishment here on midgard ends we would like to return the people of Asgard both of their prince's in all of their glory, his father is awaiting them both" you nodded as she said that.
"Did he ever inform you that he was betrothed to the Princess of Vanaheim, Atrishia?" She asked you so you nodded again, the way she wasn't even looking at you while talking to you was making you feel like a peasant in front of her which you probably were but it would have been nice if she had acknowledged your presence.
"He mentioned her once"
"She is still waiting for him to return" your eyes teared up as she said that "I truly appreciate that you protected my son and helped him come out with the truth about Thanos but I need you to understand that the union of marriage in Asgard is amongst the equals, you are not his equal, you are not a princess of your realm now are you?" You looked down as she said that, you always felt insecure about him choosing you because you knew he deserved the whole world and that you'd never be able to give him that.
"No but I can assure you that I love him and he loves me" she smiled as you said that and she caressed your head in a patronizing manner.
"You are naive my dear. I know my son fairly well, he gets deeply invested at first but it's going to fade soon, it is not going to last. Do you really think you're the first woman to own his heart this way? Do you think you possess what it takes for a man such as him to stay interested in you for long?" You just continued to look down as tears spilled from your eyes, you wiped them completely as you noticed Loki at the distance approaching you two.
"Think about what I said, it is for your own benefit that I am saying this" She said to you so you nodded. As Loki came near you two, Frigga took the drink from his hand and he gave you yours and then she circled her arm around his so he'd take her inside.
"Darling come…it's getting cold" he brought his hand forward for you so you looked at him.
"I'll be right back…I just..i have to make a call" his brows furrowed as you said that, he had a feeling something had happened between you and his mother but he didn't want to create a scene until he had the full information. As he walked away with her you turned around and placed the glass on the ledge of the balcony. You felt too nauseous to want to drink or eat anything. You remembered how happy Jane was after meeting her and you were happy for her but at the same time you felt bad about yourself. She was a mortal as well so it was just you that she didn't approve of.
After a few minutes you composed yourself and went inside again.
Loki looked at your sullen face and he had a feeling Frigga had said something to you, he saw how joyous lady Jane seemed as compared to you and his doubts were confirmed. He just hoped you won't allow her words to affect you or this relationship with him. He also noticed the Dalia approaching you and he remembered how she had hurt you last time so before she could bother anymore, he confronted her instead.
"Loki" she spoke his name but her eyes welled up as she felt an excruciating pain in her head, she also felt extremely sick all of a sudden.
"You feel that Dalia? Trust me I can make it worse and I can make it last forever so you will never feel happiness again. I have never retorted for the things you did to her until now but let me just warn you that I won't tolerate you disrespecting my woman any longer"
"I'm sorry..it won't happen again" she mumbled, her voice came out shrill as she was unable to speak because of the pain she was feeling, she felt pins and needles probing every inch of her skin.
"Are we clear now?"
"Yes just make it stop please I'll never bother her again" she begged him so he smiled and stopped messing with her head immediately before he walked away from her.
He did notice her running out of the lounge immediately after that and he couldn't have been happier. The party was amazing but after that conversation you didn't feel worthy of being around these people especially not the queen herself. Frigga wasn't able to stay for long so he bid her goodbye before he grabbed your hand and decided to take you to his chamber.
"Loki I'd like to go back to my apartment please, I have to work tomorrow" you said to him on the way so he nodded and went back to the party to request Thor to drop you both back to your place. You felt awful that you were troubling him on his birthday but you couldn't just stay here even a minute longer..
As soon as you were back to your apartment Loki finally confronted you.
"What did she say to you?" He asked you so you sighed and went into the kitchen after you took your heels off to grab yourself a glass of water, your throat felt dry.
"Nothing Loki, she was nice..she said nothing" He bit on his cheeks as you clearly lied to him "You should have gone back lo, it's your brother's birthday celebration, Jane told me they were going to stay up all night, get drunk and play games"
You walked past him to get to the closet but he grabbed your arm and pulled you into him.
"We promised each other that we will communicate about these things, remember?" Your eyes teared up again as he said that. You didn't want to hurt him because of what she had said, not at all.
"She doesn't like me...surpriiiiseee"
He was offended by the notion, ofcourse he was, he couldn't even imagine anyone not adoring you the way he did.
"It doesn't matter to me, your mother doesn't like me"
"Lokiii…i ..that princess is still waiting for you, she's waiting for you, she was engaged to you and she's still waiting" you tried to pull away from him but he was holding onto you tightly.
"I told my mother that it can not happen now, i have moved on and i have found what I have been looking for" he said sternly so you chuckled.
"Really you have been looking for this? A simpleton like me? Don't you want a princess or something?" You got out of his grip somehow and walked to your closet in order to avoid crying in his face, you always felt as if you weren't enough for him and people telling you the same again and again didn't help the situation. He closed the distance between you two and turned you around before he pulled you into his chest again. Cupping your cheeks he made you look at him right in the eyes, his thumbs wiped the tears rolling down your cheeks
"I have a princess, i have you and it's hurting me that you're being so disrespectful towards my princess" your eyes welled up even more as he said that "What happened to us not giving up on each other no matter what hmm?"
"I'm sorry..I'm sorry, it just hurts"
He latched his lips onto yours and picked you up from the floor. The dress made it difficult for you to wrap your legs around him so he immediately laid you down on the bed. He didn't stop kissing you and neither did you as you took his coat off and then the shirt followed. You knew he loved you and whatever she said about him being infatuated wasn't true but you still felt scared of losing his interest in you sooner or later.
He turned you around on your front to unzip the dress, he loved doing that apparently.
Pulling the straps of your dress down he freed your breasts from the confinement of your dress, one of his arms snaked around your shoulders as he sucked kisses on the exposed skin of your neck, pulling your dress up he ripped your underwear in half using a minimum force and you felt him entering you slowly.
He turned your head so he could kiss your mouth while he thrusted in and out of you slowly, the sex was passionate and romantic, it was needy and that's exactly what you needed from him. He pulled out, turned you over on your back again and he quickly had your legs wrapped around his waist as he fucked in and out of you again, the dress was pooled around your waist and it's not that he didn't enjoy the sight of your naked body underneath him but just something about you looking so disheveled always made him so feral.
"I'm sorry I was being disrespectful" you cupped his cheeks as you mumbled, your voice came out all broken from the sex as well as how you were feeling before he had started to fuck these insecurities out of you, literally.
"Mmmhmm i do not care what anyone says darling, I just need you to trust me and I need you to know that we have each other, i got you sweet princess..look at me" his fingers clutched into your hair as he kissed you softly "You have me, you are not going to lose me" you nodded and started to move your hips slowly, the gesture made him quicken his own pace.
"Keep going like that darling..so good" he moaned as the sensation began to grow in the pit of his stomach "I need you my princess. I had no will to live until I had found you, you do not have any clue that my soul is always restless when I am away from you, constantly yearning untill I have your whole existence in my arms again"
His words had completely sated your fears for a moment. You didn't want to think what his mother thought about you anymore.
"Mmmm I need you lo..my baby..god please" you sat up along with him, your mouth stayed on his as you kissed him passionately and then you laid him down on the bed underneath you, he smiled as you sat on his cock and took him deeper slowly, the dress was obstructing his view so you pulled it over your head, he craned his neck up to get a better view of your cunt stretching around his cock and the sight made him moan in desperation.
You placed your hands down on his chest as you rode him slowly, you felt one of his hands squeeze your butt while the other one played with your clit.
"Is this good?" You asked him and he opened his mouth to say something but only a grunting moan came out, how come he got to look this way? He had no right to look so pretty underneath you.
"You feel so good baby, such a perfect cock you have"
You mumbled as you leaned over him, your fingers brushed the hair behind his ear and you caressed his cheek with your fingers, the look on his face had softened instantly with the touch,
"Darling please" he mumbled so you smiled at him.
"What do you need pretty baby?"
"Keep moving please..pleassse my goddess" he perched himself on his elbows so he was closer to you and you curled your fingers around his nape to kiss him passionately, you sucked on his tongue slowly, back and forth, over and over again, the erotic gesture made him twitch inside you.
"Mmm you're such a pretty babyboy I love you so much" As soon as the words left your mouth you felt him fall apart for you.
"Oh my nornsss!! Ohh I'm gonna cum.. I'm sorry my goddess ..im sorrry"
He collapsed on the bed, his back arched and he thrusted his hips harshly into you as he came around you, hitting your sweet spot that made you lose it too, his cock twitched inside you and you were both so loud that you felt afraid Mrs Geller would come knocking on your door to see if you were okay or not.
Your body went limp on his chest as you felt exhausted, the orgasm took everything out of you.
"God that was… godddd"
He chuckled as you said that, his fingers caressed your scalp softly, he had never come so hard in his life before and he had plenty of sex before so that was something. Maybe it was the way you kind of went so dominating on him out of nowhere, he enjoyed that alot.
"Did you call me goddess?" You put your head up to look at him and that blush didn't go unnoticed.
"Did you call me babyboy?" You giggled as he said that.
"Pretty babyboy"
"I love you" he cupped your cheeks and kissed you as tenderly as he could, fornicating with you wasn't enough for him, it never was, he needed the whole thing, he craved the cuddles and the sweet confessions of love after the act.
"I love you my sweet baby..come here ..let me bite you and eat you" you growled as you snuggled him and he giggled in response.
Yes, he needed all this and more and he only needed it from you and nobody else, the fact that his own mother had disrespected the woman he wanted to build a future with had hurt him to the core. He did feel responsible for the situation Atrishia was in so he knew he had to go make amends with her and tell her that he had moved on, he had found his mate in you and he wasn't going to leave you under any circumstances. He didn't want to be the reason someone was in pain but he decided to think about it later, for now he just wanted to bask in the love, this pure love that he had stumbled upon somehow.
Once you were down from the orgasmic high you took a shower with him and when you both came out you put on the dress again which confused him.
"We should go join his birthday celebration, I'm sure he wants us there lo" he smiled as you said that and took out his phone to call Thor.
"I'll fix my face before we go" you cupped his cheeks to kiss him before you pulled away and looked at him for a second before you kissed him again "Godd i would die for you…I love you so much" you walked away as you mumbled. His smile widened and eyes teared up as he watched you hurrying with your makeup process. Then he mumbled in his mouth as he adored you from the distance.
"And i will kill for you my princess"
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Note : He's just being sentimental, too precious to kill anyone isn't he? Story will pick up from the next chapter, this was kind of a filler with some information here and there but I hope it wasn't boring 🥰
Taglist (if you want to be tagged or removed let me know.. also I’m not able to tag some of you, please check your settings)
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#loki x female reader#loki#loki x reader fluff#loki x reader#loki x reader insert#loki x reader fic#loki x you#loki x reader angst#loki x reader smut#post avengers loki#canon divergent au#soft loki
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ngl "buddie shippers hating tommy/lou ferrigno jr proves that buddie shippers aren't misogynist" is a pretty fucking horrible take in itself like dsfhskfkj; these people aren't suddenly better people for equally cyber bullying both women and men for simply doing their jobs. this isn't anything to praise. this isn't anything positive. in the end, this proves even more that these people are bullies. full stop. they are willing to treat real human beings who don't even have any influence on the canon 911 narrative horribly for a ship that is fanon. and even if they had influence, or even if the ship was canon, none of this behavior would ever be okay. am i supposed to applaud the fact that they don't discriminate their victims based on their gender? like imagine you call somebody out for being an fucking asshole and they reply "but at least i'm a feminist ;)" like ????????? somebody give these people new brain cells omg i am begging
actually funny you mention that last point because it did actually happen exactly like that to someone i know this weekend 😭😭😭
anyways everything you said is completely right and i honestly don’t understand why people are behaving so… cruelly? idk what the right word is but i saw someone even saying ‘we ran off all the other love interests we can do the same with him’ and i had to literally sit back and go what the fuck
and i hate that my twitter timeline continuously shows me tweets of people celebrating the hate they’re spreading to lou and tommy. it makes me sick honestly
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I don't know if it's the symbiosis lore influencing my perception of Rhine and Albedo; but a little part of me realllyyyy hopes Albedo was right when he thought Rhine wanted him to live a good life.
Because it's like, when you remember stuff; typically you remember it how you saw it at the time. Like when you saw a math problem in the 3rd grade and didn't understand it; you may learn how to do it, but you still don't understand that scenario's math problem because that's the impression in your head. And a tiny part of me is praying that's how Albedo is imagining Rhine.
He had no life experience when he was with her, so it's not like he knew how to fully judge Rhine correctly. Like, if your mom- who disappeared suddenly- was being cold and just mean before leaving, no duh you'd still call her cold and mean years later. That's how you felt in the moment, so that's how you'd continue to judge her now because it's not like you have any other experiences to go off of.
But now Albedo DOES have life experience to go off of. He's seen other mothers and parents. Like Alice; she's a good mother to Klee in many ways-- she does everything to make her happy, dotes over her, makes sure she can always have someone to look up to; but she's still not the best mother by a VERY long shot. She still left Klee in mond all alone with only Albedo and the knights, and she's definitely neglectful by letting her play with bombs. But in the end, that doesn't mean she's a completely horrible mother. And it's like, when you put that logic up to Rhine; it checks out. Because even if he hasn't seen Rhine since she left him with Alice; he can still look back at those experiences beforehand with a different lense.
Rhine obviously realized by now that kindness has done nothing for anyone she's cared for in life. Elynas & Durin-- who literally gush over her being a good mother, and who she wanted to have good lives and see all of humanity (or at least she says she did), were both very brutally murdered and their bodies are literally only considered apart of the terrain now; no respect, no love, and most certainly no happy ending. But other's like the riftwolves, who she didn't give a second glance to, thrived. The riftwolves literally have an entire ISLAND they just sorta live on in peace; waiting for her. So obviously; at the point of Albedo, she probably in some very messed up way thought, 'hey. maybe if i'm a horrible person, albedo will also not end up being absolutely hammered for whatever reason.' and, hey; that's EXACTLY what happened, AND IT WORKED!!! Rhinedottir did love Albedo (albeit in a VERY skewed way) and she did what she thought was best for him; even if it definitely wasn't.
Albedo was made to be human, and to experience the world and all it had; and in her eyes, the best way for him to achieve that was without her.
(I'm so tired. I don't think this makes any sense but I can't go to bed unless i post it.)
#i need to go to bed#Itd also be funny#if she was horrible for no reason#but this is also very dear to me.#the consequences of symbiosis on my perception of rhine.#sighhhhh#Rhine HCs#Rhinedottir#albedo#genshin analysis#genshin theory#???#idk#crepe's thinking cap#crepe analysis and thoughts#Rhine & Albedo
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Arknights 8, 9, 17!
yippee!! more questions for me OM NOM NOM
8. A quote from Arknights that means a lot to me.
that's a very hard exercise right there because there is MANY quotes I love. and I have to pick one?? what!!
I'll put all the Rhine Lab events aside and pick one that I've read recently;
"Evil thought and evil deed differ by only one word, yet the difference in consequences could hardly be greater. This indeed began with thy thoughts, but the moment they became reality, they had left thy control."
- Saga (Nameless Minion, A Death in Chunfen)
Saga is amazing, Saga is wise, Saga is right, love Saga and read a Death in Chunfen this event is amazing. this quote is a whole summary of one struggling with invasive thoughts. we all, and I mean, ALL, have these thoughts. this voice in our head impulsively and wrongly telling us to do something that we shouldn't. this desire to cause harm or to answer with violence. there's no exception to this, everyone is victim of this voice, even the wiser ones. the only difference between good and bad is if you decide to make these thoughts reality or not. Saga explains herself that even as tho she's a monk, herself has these thoughts;
but she decides to not fall for them. and it's what matters.
Saga is an AMAZING CHARACTER please fandom of Arknights oh please I beg you to stop treating her like she's stupid which she is NOT.
9. Which character I think should have interacted more in canon.
hello Hypergryph. she's literally in Victoria during the main scenario events according to her operator records. WHERE IS QUERCUS?? THE PEOPLE DEMAND QUERCUS IN MAIN SCENARIO
outside of a Light Sparks in Darkness and her operator records - as well as Susie's -, Quercus is completely absent and forgotten. and it pisses me off. she's seriously, and without any doubt, one of the most interesting characters. she lived so much, she saw so much, she struggles so much, has done horrible things, has seen horrible things, and understands the horror of war more than anyone. she's still, even to this day, working on herself, beating herself up to try to live a normal life again
and most of her character is, in fact, outside of Arknights?? all of her past, you learn it in YUJI's artworks. seriously.
please please please Hypergryph. we need more of Quercus. I want her to heal, to learn, to show weakness, to grow up. thank you
17. "The world-building aspect of the story I have the greatest admiration for."
hummm literally all of them??? but in all seriousness, the thing that I admire a lot in Arknights is how they were able to build a world with different countries with their own politics, and how they interact together, influence each other, the conflicts, history, cultural differences... alright, a lot of it is based on real world stuff, but it's still fascinating. as someone who creates stories, it's something I really want to be good at!! I'm kinda dumb to understand politics tho, so I don't really get what's going on in Arknights, but I can tell it's real good shit, that's what matters
#this turned out into a Saga and Quercus appreciation post#good. very good.#arknights#askiwi#not my art#thanks for the ask!!!
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You know, I'm pretty sure than due to knowing Lilith is Adam's female counterpart and how her own view of the reliability of a mom was shattered, Vaggie once insulted Lilith when Charlie exprimed angst about her mom being gone for years.
Also, I wouldn't be surprised if during the first week's-months of Angel Dust living in the Hotel in this AU, Vaggie used very foul derogatory language to talk of him by reflex whenever he angered her, to his face or when talking of him to Charlie, because while she was merciful of a child, I doubt she has any consideration for the adults sinners, and Lute's toxic influence rear its ugly head when she's pissed.
Vaggie does try to be supportive of Charlie during those time, and usually keeps quiet when they're together, but she does curse Lilith in private whenever Charlie lets it slip that she is hurt by the fact that her mom seems to have just vanished without a word, no matter how much Charlie tries to get a hold of her. Because even if obviously what Lilith is doing to Charlie isn't exactly like what Lute did to her, Vaggie still would compare the two and feel super angry on Charlie's behalf.
Oh, I definitely feel like during Angel's earliest weeks in the Hotel, Vaggie did at least a couple times slip into saying some pretty unkind things to and/or about him. She has been improving in regards to trying to see Sinners as people who can be redeemed if they want to - though a lot of that is less her actually believing that and more her just wanting to believe in Charlie, at least at first - but it's hard to completely unlearn two centuries worth of how she was raised, and she was raised to see Sinners as just horrible people who can't be helped.
And before he actually started taking the idea of the Hotel seriously, Angel would honestly likely often make Vaggie feel like her mother had been right about that. Because despite the fact that he was supposed to be trying to redeem himself as the whole point of staying at the Hotel, he didn't even try to improve his attitude, never mind his behaviors. Like, I definitely headcanon that even after learning her name was Vaggie with hard G's, he intentionally pronounced it with soft G's just because he saw how much it annoyed her, and even went further by calling her "Vagina" sometimes, like we saw in the show.
That being said, I don't think she ever said anything like, homophobic or anything, but I could see Angels and especially the Exorcists having their own unflattering terms for Sinners and when Angel really pushed her too far, Vaggie did slip into those terms, sometimes in Spanish, sometimes in English. But, of course, Angel was usually just confused because he had no idea of Vaggie's actual past and so he didn't really register that what she was saying was meant to be an insult.
#Hazbin Hotel#Vaggie#Charlie Morningstar#Lilith Morningstar#Angel Dust#Hazbin Vaggie#Hazbin Angel Dust#Vaggie is a Guitarspear Baby AU#Cradle Will Fall
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i think the big difference between Loki and Wanda to me personally is that no one tries to excuse Loki's actions in MCU. When Loki attacked new york, he was sent to prison. When Loki attacked Jotunheim, Thor tried to stop him and told him it was insane. No one around Loki was being like "bro, it's fine that you tried to invade a planet!!" or "attacking Jotunheim was fine just this one time because you were sad :( " Like Loki attacking Jotunheim was bad. Loki attacking New York was bad and no one tries to say otherwise. (And the thing about New York is that there were extenuating circumstances. Loki was being threatened by the Other and Thanos. The Other hurts loki on screen. Like we know that there will be consequences for Loki if he stops attacking New York and MCU has confirmed that he was under the influence of the scepter by some degree.)
With Wanda things are just...different, and I miss the way that she used to be. Wanda in AoU was a stupid kid who made a stupid choice to get experimented on with her brother because they were angry. They joined a terrorist organization because they thought it was the best way to get back at Tony for inadvertently killing their parents. They were stupid kids. But the thing that a lot of people overlook when they have the "why did they join hydra" question is that that is the point of their arc in AoU. They wanted mass annihilation, so they join hydra, then Ultron, who says they can promise that. But when Wanda sees what that looks like and she sees what Ultron can do AND what the mass destruction would look like, she AND Pietro realize that isn't what they want. Both of them had ALREADY made the stupid choice and they spent the rest of AoU trying to fix it and do better. When Wanda gets up in that building and walks out those doors, she has decided then protecting life is more important than personal vendettas or revenge. And that's what made her a hero. Not that she had glowy hands, but that Wanda decided then that she wanted to use her gifts to help people. Civil War does a good job of carrying this arc forward, especially when we see how much accidentally killing eleven people affected her. After AoU, Wanda values life.
But then WandaVision happens and...wanda is holding an entire town captive, and everyone in the narrative on the "good side" is trying to excuse what she's doing. "She's upset!" "It's okay that she held this town captive this one time because she was having an emotional breakdown and we can let it go :(" or "they won't understand your pain" and it makes me frustrated because Wanda did a horrible thing and she never has to face the consequences for that. She doesn't try to make amends with the town, she doesn't promise to do better. She doesn't go to prison, or get held accountable.
SHE LITERALLY BRAINWASHES AGATHA AND NO ONE -- NOT ONE -- SAYS HANG ON.
Instead, she takes the dark hold and floats away because everything Wanda did was explained away by grief. And like. Loki is not the same. His actions were never excused by people around him, but he actively tries to do better from TDW on. He helps rescue Jane and protects Thor. He takes care of Asgard, he and Thor move to repair their relationship. Loki puts Asgard's safety first over his own by coming to help Thor with Hela. Loki dies for Thor. He may not verbally accept responsibility for what happened, but his actions show that he did and he's trying to do better.
After the end of WandaVision, Wanda doesn't. She doesn't care about life anymore, it's an inconvenience to her at best. You cannot look me in the eye and say that Wanda in Infinity War would be hunting down a child across the multi-verse to murder her in cold blood.
In MoM, Wanda is actively killing everyone and anyone and she is completely aware of what she's doing. Like people claim corruption by the dark hold, but like...corruption by the darkhold is not explained. If I'm remembering right, Agatha was also corrupted, but she was the only person who was trying to force Wanda to let the town go, even if she did kill the dog. Agatha was trying to help. She didn't really get turned evil, just morally dubious. So arguably the same should be said of Wanda, right? That Wanda's core was still there and these were things she would have done anyway, the dark hold just pushed her over the edge. Wanda is trying to kill a kid.
And i am ALSO aware that this is just poor writing on MoM's part -- because MoM sucks -- but I'm still frustrated because I miss Wanda. I understand that she was grieving, but I still wish that someone would hold her accountable. Killing someone off (even though I still doubt she's dead) is not a redemption arc. You don't get to do one good thing before you die and it erases everything that came before.
And I am still mad that the narrative tried to justify Wanda holding a town hostage for two weeks. Bud. She may be an Avenger, but that doesn't stop her from being capable of doing some really crappy stuff.
Loki was held accountable.
Wanda wasn't.
#loki#wanda#anti multiverse of madness#anti wandavision#i miss wanda so much#she was my baby#literally she was the only reason i kept watching phase 4 and now i'm like#um#wanda meta#loki meta#and honestly i am feeling that this post is going to get ripped apart so#here we go i guess
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Slay the Princess Starter Sentences
*Contains spoilers
"You have a job to do here. Just get in there and do what needs to be done."
"While I appreciate the mental exercise, we are running up against a bit of a ticking clock."
"It's no use arguing semantics over a metaphorical chicken-or-egg, because the egg is hatched and it's about to ruin everything."
"If anything, slaying a princess is better than slaying a seamstress. Seamstresses contribute something of value to society."
"You're playing a dangerous game by coming here unarmed."
"We could have gotten out of here together. Were you just lying to me this whole time?"
"If I have to kill you, I'll kill you. Do you think I need both of my arms to do that?"
"This vessel is full of you. I need something empty I can crawl inside of. I need something shaped like me."
"This world is broken beyond repair. We must weave something new."
"Do you want to linger here, entwined with a creature you taught to hate you forever? Eternity never ends."
"You shouldn't have let that fear creep into your heart. You had the upper hand, and now look at you."
"Don't think that just because I'm the one in chains it means you have a right to interrogate me."
"You poor thing. I'll go ahead and put you out of your misery."
"This was fun. You put up more of a fight than I thought you would."
"You have made a decision. It is the wrong one. I love you."
"Please, shake yourself out of it. We have to get out of here."
"No... this is the beginning of eternity. Your reward."
"And then you locked us away in an empty void for eternity."
"Like I've been saying. She's dead. We killed her already."
"Why are you even here? Just making sure you finished the job or what?"
"I was willing to ignore everything you did to me so we could get out of here. Together."
"But I guess violence is the only language you speak."
"On second thought, let's not kill him. Let's throw him someplace that never ends. I'd like to see what that does to him."
"You are familiar, but you are not me. I feel sadness, longing, hope as I witness you."
"I'm sorry. There are some changes that can never be undone, there are some tears that can never be unshed."
"I have not lived. I am not afraid to die."
"If you need time, then I'll wait with you."
"What textures will you weave for yourself to occupy forever? Will you place 'You' and 'I' into a box for safekeeping?"
"I will be here waiting by your side until you're ready to return to mine."
"She asks that I tell you to remember her. You won't."
"You've made a terrible enemy, and there's nothing in the world that can possibly save you from me."
"After all this time alone, I thought I'd finally found a friend. But you were just another monster, weren't you?"
"I know who you are, and I remember what you've done."
"We don't have to make things better. We can't make things better."
"We're just meant to chase each other in the dark until one of us catches the other."
"I'm glad to die horribly if it means you die with me. I wouldn't have it any other way."
"The thing that sits beyond our edge speaks his logic into us. He tries to grasp at things that cannot be grasped."
"It was a fitting end. I'm sorry if it hurt. But doesn't this make it all seem so small?"
"Whenever you are ready, I will wipe your slate clean once again."
"Words are... difficult for me. They never fully weave what I wish to say."
"There is nowhere for you to be but here."
"You have already committed to my completion. You cannot go further astray."
"What you're seeing here is obviously real. Just accept it and go with the flow."
"You are like me, even if you have chosen not to look at the corners of you that do not fit, even if you have chosen to ignore the brilliant contours of your soul."
"The desires of my multitudes thrive in endless competition with themselves, but none of them rise above their dance to influence me."
"You've brought that knife again, even though you know it's useless. Such charming audacity."
"Oh? Are you still trying to defy me? I. Said. Kneel."
"What a pitiful display. A wounded little bird thinking it can defy a god."
"Was severing the tendons of my ascension not enough for you? Was it not enough to rend my divine heart?"
"I hope you weren't planning on dying. We're going to make this last forever."
"These gifts are a conversation, and each one shows me the contours of your heart."
"I'm going to have fun breaking you into little pieces."
"You and I are always going to end in violence, so why bother to run?"
"I never wanted to fight you. So how do we leave?"
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On a totally opposite end of the spectrum from the role swap-
Imagine if after the Promise chapter things flipped. If after that argument The Operator- out of pure animalistic type curiosity- said “ooh lemme stick my fingers in this sauce here” and left Alex alone to latch onto Jay. Its already discovered how it can push and twist and manipulate one person, but what about a completely separate person? Will the results be the same? Different? Will it be easier or harder?
So it latches onto Jay, and Alex experiences a flat out withdrawal from that thing’s influence, followed by the most gut wrenching clarity. Realizing how crazy he went, how he killed his friends to “save” them when it never would have mattered. So two weeks pass, and all he can think about is Jay- talking to him again and telling him everything, being honest and actually fucking admitting that he cares about him, that he wants to make good on his promise and do things right.
But Jay doesn’t answer. Jay is the one who drops off the planet and goes MIA, and Alex has a horrible, sinking suspicion he knows why. He hopes that Jay just finally got sick of him- he HOPES thats all it is- but deep down there’s this creeping suspicion that its not a coincidence. That he passed his own torment on to Jay like some twisted fucking disease-
He finds out he’s right, later on. When he starts working together with Tim(he’s desperate to find Jay, to fix things, even if that means groveling for Tim’s help-), when they start having run ins with Jay where he won’t see reason, where he argues every point they make and tries to convince Alex that everyone has to die, to help him(and wow, did he sound that crazy too? probably, yikes-)
And in the end Alex makes one last desperate attempt. He meets Jay somewhere alone, tries to convince him to come with him, tells him that he loves him-
But Jay doesn’t believe him. He tells Alex as much(“i love you but i can’t trust you- you said it yourself, why would you ever love somebody like me?”) and Alex wants to cry when Jay throws his own awful words back at him, things he never meant to say-
But what destroys him is when Jay takes the gun that he stole from Alex months ago, puts it to his own head and pulls the trigger with a bang right in front of him.
I’m in a dark mood today LMAO we die like tunnel guy
we die like tunnel guy lmaoooo
fucking THIS tho oh my god the ANGST
i literally have nothing else to add really, my brain saw this and turned into angst mush i fucking love this so much. Jay not believing Alex when he says he loves him fucking OW. This is literally fucking perfect. like, actually.
Everyone come look at this and be fucking destroyed by it because OW. it's especially sad because i'm thinking so much about Alex being the one feeling super hurt and stuff in his uni relationship with Jay, because im writing if it ain't broken at the moment. I am in the perfect mindset for just pouring over Jaylex angst with Alex being the one left feeling worst for it.
Honestly though, Alex finally seeing things fully, truly clearly and realising how terrifying and horrible it must have been for Jay to see him the way he was with the Operator in his head, all angry and not seeing sense and arguing every little thing.
withdrawal from the Operator tho, like, actual withdrawals from it could be so interesting. Like, how would that interact with Tim since he's been dealing with the operator since he was a kid presumably. is he fucked either way? like, if he doesnt take his meds he could get withdrawals from them, and if he doesn't take them for a while then goes back on them does he then get withdrawals from the Operator? Or is it different because the Operator isn't in his head the same way it's in Alex's? is just being near it enough? Like second hand smoke?
#asks#anyway. this is perfect. everyone look at it and ooh and ah appropriately.#& foam at the mouth. run in circles screaming. jump up & down. chew things that arent meant to be chewed etc. because thats what im doing r#marble hornets#alex kralie#jay merrick#mh sorry its locked
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Is srs trying to take control of the regional group because if he doesn’t reframe the incident with Pebbles dehydrating moon as this grand plot for him to take power then he’ll have to face the fact that he was partially responsible for pebbles’ (probably one of if not the only iterator he was relatively close with. They weren’t necessarily ‘friends’ but they did chat pretty regularly) spiral into self destruction and bringing down moon with him? He must know deep down that ‘leader’ of the regional group is mostly an honorific with some unofficial duties, but why face reality when Significantly Harassing nsh is so much less painful more fun! (This au is soso entertaining to me ehsbjsbdjndnsj you are a genius)
Fun fact... In this AU there are actually TWO Suns.
And what I mean by that is that he has a personality disorder, basically.
In the begging of his life, SRS was created quite unstable - controlling, selfish, prone to anger and pretty cruel... And it was affecting the progress of Ancients greatly, as he was a nuisance to them, to senior Moon, and most of all to his newly created neighbour - NSH.
So he was reprogrammed before any other iterators were created. His personality completely changed for the opposite side. However, in moments of great stress, especially now, without technical maintenance, he shifts back to his previous personality. That's why he was giving Pebbles a hard time, basically, and why he sent that pearl.
So yeah, Suns knows he's at fault. And a half of him blames himself over it, while the other half thinks what was done is a right thing, and that it would serve him a good purpose in the end. It's really hard for normal Suns to get out of his evil self, as he constantly suffers under the influence of circumstances... But he still tries to fight himself.
And that's the only reason why NSH still tries to help him, even if it makes them go through horrible things... Because they know, that deep down there is a friend that needs their help.
(also, thank you so much, I'm glad that you like this AU)
#rain world#rain world downpour#seven red suns#srs#evil! seven red suns#dark rain au#digital art#sketch#fanart#question answer
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