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iamprobablydeadlol · 2 years

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Longing

Pairing: James Potter and Regulus Black

Summary: Regulus is at Grimauld for the summer and he really misses James so he writes Jamie a letter that James will never receive.

A/n:- this is my first time ever posting anything like this and I have no idea how to use tumblr lmao so please please consider it and cut me some slack. English is my third language so if you happen to take time out of your day to read this please make sure to tell me how it is I'll really appreciate it and if you see any grammatical errors, please do tell me personally. I'll make sure to correct everything :) Anyway I love you all sm I hope you have a good day<3

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Regulus was pacing around at Grimauld Place 12. He knew his mother and father weren't home but he was still feeling anxious, as if they'd barge in any minute and try to invade his mind, try to control it. He'd learnt occulomency on his own at hogwarts last year but his parents were still too powerful and experienced. As a result, he had to lock up everything in a box, a golden one that was so precious to him because it was filled with memories of James. James. His heart skipped a beat at the thought of James but it only made him more anxious. That golden box was the only thing he was guarding from his parents because that was the one thing he loved most, after James ofcourse. These days all Regulus could think of was James Fucking Potter and he was very careful while doing so. He made sure to keep a blank face at all times and not act like he was thinking of something important in order to avoid his mother trying to find out what he was up to, as if they'd let him be up to anything. He dreamt of James in his sleep which was risky because his parents could always find him but who is he to try and control his subconscious mind? Yeah the poets will disagree with what he just said but he just doesn't have access to that popular muggle book at this moment (but he is planning to nick it from Pandora after they board the train).

Regulus froze.Did he just use the word 'nick'? Potter was truly influencing him. Rolling his eyes while trying to hide his smile, Regulus tried to think of something to do; suddenly he got a risky idea but he knew he could do it just this once. He could write a letter to James. Well not really a letter but he could just write something and never send it. That would be very beneficial for his sanity, he thought. As he grabbed his muggle pens that he received from Pandora, the ones he hid at all times, he smiled, remembering his best friend. And suddenly he thought of his parents and their pureblood mania. Obviously they'd approve of Pandora being his friend since her family was a part of the sacred 28 but he didn't want the portraits getting the wrong idea and telling his mother. He would be ruining Pandora's life forever.

Like you're ruining James's, a voice sounding like his mother's hissed inside his head. He panicked, looked around the room; she wasn't home yet.

When Sirius was home, Reg felt safe and now he's, well, empty. Ignoring that thought or any other thought that had to do with his pureblood family and his rebellious brother, Regulus diverted his attention to the pens in his hand. He tried to pick a colour he'd never used before. There were only 7 pens in the pack and he'd never used the pink one before so he started writing;

James,

I miss you, I really do. You'll never receive this that's why the ink is pink and no, this is not a funky colour, its kind of ugly in my opinion but you look good when you wear pink. The way you've got me acting like a lovesick fool is pathetic. I see you everywhere, I feel you everywhere, in the stars, the river, everywhere like I said and I hear you too, sometimes when I hear you I get so excited but mostly I just panic and I think about what they'll do to you. I'm sorry for this, James. I love you so much and I, I think about you so much but not nearly enough. They're everywhere in this house, these walls and whatever's hung up on them and whatever's beneath them, they're all dark and they're always listening. But you're this splashing tide in my life, you're this fresh breeze of wind that can sometimes not be seen but always felt. (No pun intended) Potter, you truly are my sun. You're my everything. There's nothing I love more than you in the world, universe actually. You and I, we're like a sunset, James. You're the sun and I'm- I'm nothing. The sunset is the most beautiful moment of the entire day but it only lasts a few minutes. Then, the sun sets and it's all dark. We're beautiful together, you always say but I'm what makes the sun set in your life and you're what makes the sun rise in mine. We're incompatible, you and I but you're my favourite and you'll always be, my love. You're the best thing to ever happen to me. You're the little happy moment in my life that I'll remember forever, even after it all comes to an end. I'm sorry James, I- I can't do this anymore. My mother will kill you if she finds out. I don't want to put your life in danger for selfish reasons. I don't know when I'll finally get the courage to tell you whatever I want to say but if you receive this (which you definitely won't), we're not a thing anymore but you'll always be in my heart and I hope I don't reside in yours for too long. I hope you move on and find someone that loves you as much as I do, no, more than I do if that is possible. I wish you the best. I'll always think about you right before I sleep and I'll always see your face when I close my eyes. That's something that will never change.

Always yours Yours sincerely,

R.A.B

#jegulus #starchaser #james potter x regulus black #there is wolfstar too btw #this is kinda sad but i think i like it #Idk what to think tho #yall tell me alright

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strawberryspence · 1 year

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Listen, it’s been a hard few days.

From the day Eddie— his new friend— got pulled into this shit show called The Upside Down, to when he literally had to watch Max float into the air as the evil wizard from the other dimension tried to kill her from the inside. To today, in which Eddie’s in the hospital— after Steve miraculously carried him on his back to the hospital— and where Max is also in— broken and in a coma, but alive.

It’s natural to feel confused from fatigue and emotional distress. But this? Dustin doesn’t even know what to do with it.

It’s been a long morning. After a lot of suffocating, but well deserved, smothering from his mother, he then got another suffocating but again, well deserved smothering from Steve when he finally picked him up.

Steve looks tired, dark circles under his eyes, his hair is… a mess. It’s flat and not styled. It looks like he didn’t even go home? Did he stay by Eddie’s side the whole night? For someone who hates someone, that’s a lot of effort. Dustin opens his mouth to ask or investigate, but they arrive at the hospital in a record time. Steve probably ignored every street sign.

What Dustin doesn’t understand is why Eddie’s room is jam packed so early in the morning? In the room, there’s Erica, Lucas, Mike, Robin, Nancy and Wayne, Eddie’s Uncle. And now there’s him and Steve.

“Why are you all in here?!” Dustin asks the room. There’s too many people in the small hospital bedroom.

“The doctors said he’s waking up anytime soon.” Nancy informs him, not taking her eyes off Eddie.

“And you’re all here to just watch him?” Dustin pushes in distress, “You guys, we might overwhelm him when he wakes up. We should do it one at a time.”

“I am not leaving.” Erica voices out at the corner of the room.

“Guys.” Dustin says, his voice wavering with anxiety and worry. He meets Mr. Munson’s eyes, who softens at the expression on his face.

“It’s okay, kid.” Wayne rasps, “Eddie would love to wake up with everyone just watching him. Ya know how dramatic he is.”

This earns a few snickers and chuckles from them. Dustin looks around to see if Steve stayed, only to see him exiting the room with Robin. Robin’s softly rubbing his hand with her hands, like she’s comforting him. There’s a look on Steve’s face. It’s— concern? worry? But they’re already gone before Dustin can study it further.

After all of this, Dustin will put it on top priority to get those two together. Why they won’t just date, he never understood.

Eddie groans and silence overtakes the whole room. Dustin stares at him, quietly praying for his friend to finally wake up, for him to be okay. He just wants Eddie to be okay, he never intended for him to get dragged into this.

Eddie moans as he slowly moves, his eyes fluttering open and squinting at the bright light. Dustin can hear everybody holding their breath.

Eddie turns to Wayne. Stares at his Uncle for a second before he smiles. Suddenly, Dustin can finally breathe again. He watches as Eddie looks at every person in the room. Smiling and waving a small wave to everyone.

But his smile drops. Oh no.

“What’s wrong?” Dustin asks, as he moves closer to Eddie. The fear is already cruising through his veins.

Eddie turns to Nancy in alarm, “Steve?”

Nancy blinks back, confused, “What?”

He ignores the question. Turning to Wayne instead, “Wayne?”

Wayne nods, leaving a kiss on his head, “Calm down, boy. Give me a second.”

Wayne stands up and jogs out of the room.

“What’s wrong, Eddie?” Nancy asks, as Mike comes closer too. Dustin doesn’t know how to help but Eddie’s hand is shaking.

“We should call a doctor.” Lucas announces.

“No!” Eddie immediately answers, “No! I just want—“

The door springs open. It thuds against the wall with force. Steve moves closer to the bed, breathless as Robin and Wayne follow him in the room.

All the tension— They just— They just vanish from Eddie. He visibly melts into relief. His shoulders sagging in content, and he has this smile on his face. It’s… It’s a smile Dustin has never seen on his face. It’s small, but bright and full of adoration.

Eddie whispers something. Which Dustin thinks he hallucinates, or maybe he heard it wrong. But he turns to the others, and from the look on their faces he might’ve actually heard it right.

Eddie lifts his hand, beckoning Steve closer, and then he says it again, clearly and louder.

“Sweetheart.”

Steve blinks and in a surprising turn of events, he— he starts crying. Steve Harrington starts crying. Dustin didn't even see him cry after he was tortured by the Russians.

“You fucking idiot!” Steve glares at Eddie, “I told you not to be a hero! I told you not to be cute! I asked you for one thing! And you did it anyway! What if I didn’t get back in time? What if I wasn’t able to bring you to the hospital? You could’ve died! You almost died!”

Dustin gasps in anger. How could he do this? Eddie saved him! “Steve! Shut up!”

“No!” Steve turns to him. There’s tears streaming down his face. “This is between me and him.”

“Sweetheart.” Eddie calls out again, and his hand is still in the air waiting for— whatever he’s waiting for.

“I’m so sorry about him, Mr. Munson.” Dustin turns to Wayne, who shrugs at him. He looks entertained. Which is weird.

Steve sniffles, shaking his head, “No. Don’t sweetheart me, Edward fucking Munson.”

Eddie groans, “I did what I had to do.”

They stare at each other for a few more minutes as the room fills with uncomfortable silence.

“I am sorry.” Eddie finally whispers and Dustin wants to interrupt. He doesn’t have to apologize about anything. He did what he had to do.

Steve sniffles, “Good.”

Eddie does something he has never done in the entire time Dustin knows him.

Eddie (Edward apparently) Munson pouts.

“Now?” Eddie lifts up his hand again.

“Okay.” Steve whispers before…

Before intertwining their hands together. Steve sits on Eddie’s bedside, sweeping Eddie’s hair off his face. They’re acting like they’re the only people in this room. Maybe they think they are.

“I am glad you're okay, sweetheart.” Eddie says, a smile dancing on his face.

“Me? Of course, I am okay.” Steve replies. There’s a softness to his voice that Dustin’s never heard before. “Do you want me to call you a doctor, baby? Are you okay?”

“No, I just wanted to see if you’re okay. Just needed to know.” Eddie stares up at him, it comes out loopy but there’s a real spark of joy in his eyes.

Woah, alright. Steve moves closer and kisses Eddie— On the lips. Oh my god? Is Dustin dreaming? Is Vecna still alive and showing this to him?

“What the hell is happening?!” Mike demands, breaking the glass of peace they have, and making Steve pull away from Eddie immediately.

“Oh.” Steve breathes out. Like he’s just realizing that they were there. Dustin frowns as he sees Steve’s face contour from fear to sadness. Fear for what?

“Uh.” Steve stammers, looking back at Eddie who looks like he’s about to bite Mike on the arm.

“Steve and I are dating. Since the starcourt mall burned down.” Eddie finally explains, and Wayne immediately moves closer to them like— like he’s trying to protect Steve and Eddie. From what? From them? Instinctively, Robin moves to follow Wayne.

“Oh.” Someone says, maybe it was Nancy or maybe Mike.

Dustin blinks. He tries his best to absorb the news, but he can’t think straight with that devastated look on Steve’s face or that defensive look on Eddie’s. What’s wrong with them dating? Well, Dustin takes offense over the fact that Steve didn’t tell him but there’s nothing really wrong. Two boys—

Oh. Oh.

“Alright.” Dustin finally says, making everyone turn to him. He tries to make it sound as casual as possible, “Listen, congratulations. But I am angry that you both hid this from me.”

Lucas is nodding his head beside Dustin, “Dude. Really? Our dungeon master? Come on now, Steve. You could do better.” He teases, making Steve finally cough a tiny laugh.

Mike scoffs, “If there’s anyone that could do better, it would be Eddie. Really, Eddie? Steve? I can’t believe you fell for the Harrington Charm.”

Eddie sputters a response, but he’s too busy blushing to say anything.

“Instead of ice cream, I want insider information for the next campaign.” The room erupts into noises as Mike argues that Erica can’t do that, Eddie relaxes and says no one can have insider information. In the corner, Dustin sees Nancy hug Steve and say something into his ear.

Dustin lets his eyes wander and he meets Eddie’s eyes. Eddie smiles at him, nodding. It’s his way of thanking him.

They’ll talk later, and Eddie will get his own lecture from Dustin. Maybe a shovel talk for each of them. Not that they really need it, Steve looks at Eddie like he’s the creator of the universe and Eddie looks at Steve like he holds all the answers of the world. Perfect.

But he lets it be for now. Again, it’s been a hard few days. There’s nothing wrong with letting himself bask in this sliver of happiness and safety.

#dustin: i am tired and i didnt get enough sleep and ur telling me yall are dating?????????#steve and eddie: yes #dustin: *sighs* alright *hugs the two of them*#because its that simple #and because dustin loves his bros #who cares if theyre gay #love wins yall #steddie #steddie rants #dae writes #daeheadcanons #steve harrington x eddie munson #steddie ficlet #dustin henderson #steddie headcanon #steddie hc

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 11 months

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im so Normal. totally not shaking and crying rn

#its nice to be this excited about something again! to the point of nausea!#and i Mean That #this is the good kinda stress. tis a welcome break from the usual brands #all week i've been having moments of 'ohhhh god New Information Incoming' and i have to sit down every time #and measure my breathing to chill tf out #is this unhealthy! maybe! i am trying to keep it Contained!! tightly leashed if you will #BUT OH FUCK ITS ALMOST HERE AGH AGH AGH #absolutely unprompted #welcome home #i will probably be unable to discover secrets bc i am bad with computers and the like #but hey! ill try!#if there's like... a spoiler tag yall want from me ill make sure to tag any Update Posts with it #then again wh is a unique scenario of like... Are there spoilers #bc it feels like a 'a couple people uncover stuff and then show/tell the rest' thing #but what would i know! this is kinda the first update!#LETS GO GAMERS I HOPE THE NEW STUFF IS TRAUMATIZING FOR BOTH US AND THE CHARACTERS #alright im getting to excited again im gonna go lay down #gonna be refreshing pages every ten seconds even when its completely illogical and meaningless to do so

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galaxythedragonshifter · 2 months

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Ok, I just watched a video of that one frog book they use in Autism assessments (Tuesday I think?)

And I'm convinced that book is purposefully vague. What would they want me to say the book was about?

The frogs were flying, that's for sure. I can tell their happy while flying and upset when it magically stops in the morning??? But I don't get why??? That context is never provided.

I don't know how long ago, but several years ago, I watched this little animation of circles. No dialogue, no words, nothing. Just circles moving around the screen. And I perfectly understood what the story was. It was essentially a Rudolph the red nosed reindeer situation. Easily. Without any other context then moving. Circles.

But the frog book? Not a clue. Why are the leaves flying? What are the frogs' goals? Why did the leaves stop in the morning? Why are the police there? Genuinely, what is this story actually trying to communicate??? Cause it's not communicating anything but "frog fly durrrrr :P".

#galaxy rambles #autistic screeching #watch me post this and like #five people tell me “yep youre autistic alright thats a rlly autistic response”#just yall watch #tuesday david wiesner #autistic #autism #Note: im not taking an assessment;#I just wanted to look at the book cause I was curious about the things other Autistic people were saying about it

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chloelouygo · 5 months

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We are coming into the year of the dragon and this is wonderful for every single yugioh fan, except me, who is the only person in the entire world apparently who doesn't like dragons 🥲

#i just dont get it !!!#like they're just mid !!!#theyre like... alright at best ??#and i hate that i am the ONLY person to feel this way #i feel like i have to defend myself soo hard because it feels so controversial to ever admit #like i feel actual GUILT and SHAME over this #i fear people will unfollow me for this #even though it's literally just a preference for what animal i like or dont like #like if someone just isnt into horses you dont get a mob of people booing them and trying to tell them why theyre wrong #but i feel like ive had that with dragons ??#idk its like when someone says theyre lesbian and your family are like hey have you met Derek derek is amazing you've not met a derek before #people be like og you dont like dragons have you just tried X francise ? youll love it trust #like NO!! i just want to be respected for what is apparently the weirdest and least common thing in tue whole world to not fuck with #i feel very invalid if im honest #especially as a ygo fan where so mych of everything is dragons #i dont even like the duels im literally here for the characters #im not a monster girlie 😭#i have said ky oeace im sorry for the vent #happy year of the dragon to those who celebrate but i will be mourning the year of the rabbit for the next 11 years #whew vent over yall can hate me and unfollow me now 😔😥#im so sorry

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gh0stmist · 1 year

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i want to move freely through the air and to pass through solid objects as one would swim through water. the only evidence of my existence should be the cold night mist that you could swear you were being watched by. my body was born wrong. i was meant to have horns, wings, more eyes, more limbs, no body at all, even… no, i don’t know what went wrong. i am sick. i cannot tell if i am desperate to be human again, (or maybe for the first time?), or if i am yearning to be the real, inhuman, me.

however wrong i may see myself, i hope i am right in your eyes.

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kenjakusbraincum · 5 months

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lol i want to fucking die just like i predicted

#everyone jumped me my last couple of free days #friends family professors #i have like 10 ppl and 10 assignments i have to meet/finish in the next... 4 days #yall cannot be real right now #and also i just came back from the worst bday party #i felt so overwhelmed and excluded evem though i knew half of the people there #i wanna cry #and i cant just tell my friends/family oh i dont have time for you lol shouldve texted me earlier #im so bad at saying no like that #at this point i think ill just.. stop coming to my home country for holidays #its starting to always be a fucking nuisanc #e #like im supposed to enjoy my time here not stress about it #if i was abroad at least i wouldnt hwve to think about fitting ten fucking people who feel entitled to my time in my schedule #but alright #my head aches

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knight-gwaine · 6 months

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As Travars | Side Bar Icon

New edit for the side blog! Inspired by my old experiments with Photoshop back in 2017.

It feels so good to play around with editing again, wow.

Okay so yeah, let's talk about this for funsies.

This edit essentially takes a screencap and layers a ton of old downloads of texture packs, etc. from ~2012 Tumblr days of Photoshop/Fan Edit Resource blogs. I used to love goofing off with all the textures but didn't have much direction but aaahhh, years later with college in art under my belt ;) girlie feelin spicyyyyyy with some storytelling

I've been loving the aesthetic of alluding to constellations, stars, celestial beings, etc. with simple lines and dots. Then you add in the variation of fun circles that stand in for different planets and galaxy clusters. Mm, definitely enjoying the abstract geometric vibes with the more organic elements.

The light flares are just giving off TARDIS energy, I mean come on. Atmospheric ;) Then we got the birds that represent travel alongside the Doctor?? Maybe some references to companions??? And do I need to explain the two hearts, hehe.

As in the nature of a multifandom blog, we have "As Travars" from A Darker Shade of Magic, essentially meaning "to travel" <3

#alright i'll fuck around and post a new edit #hi yall its been forever #im needy tell me you love it #doctor who #matt smith #tardis #dwgraphic #mine #dw*#dwedit #adsom

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astro-inthestars · 1 year

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BOO! YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, I have a last hour speech! Haha! Prepare yourself you wonderful nuggets!!!

So, a new year is about to start huh? Crazy right? Yeah it sure is. And throughout this year, more has happened than I can probably process. But I guess all I have to say right now is, I'm glad. I'm glad we're still here. I'm glad I'm still here, I'm glad my friends are still here, and I'm glad you're still here, whoever you are.

Through the whole year, I've met so many new wonderful people, and got closer to my old friends, and I swear to god I couldn't be more thankful! I'm so so grateful for all of you who have come into my life new and old and have stayed with me, and even if we've drifted away, I'm glad to have met you, and I hope you're happy wherever you are now and that you meet wonderful people that make you feel loved as you made me feel <3

And to my friends, those who threw me in the Omori fandom, who've made silly jokes with me, who've adopted me, who I've created stories with, who've accepted me into their life or are in the process of doing so, thank you. I can never say it enough, but thank you. So much. I wouldn't be who I am without you. I love you, okay? Thank you.

In the new upcoming years, my only wish is that you all keep loving yourselves, or learn to love yourselves. You all mean a lot to me, and I want you to love yourself the same way I love you all. Whatever you're going through, I know you'll find the strength to get through it, because you're strong and amazing and you've gotten this far. Please, stay strong. See you in 2023.

Let's make some new memories, okay?

#rennikorambles #kaibigan kong mahal #lovely rambling #and of course in my renniko astro fashion‚ this became longer than I meant it to be-#get used to it! when I talk about my friends i WILL get to several paragraphs <3 #I'll be queueing this 5 minutes before it becomes 2023 for us here in the Philippines!#I'll be crossing the time threshold before some of yall due to timezones so I'll be seeing you guys there #yall get this early <3 #i love you guys alright? i hope you know that #I love you all so so much #maybe a little more than I love myself....#But hey... with you guys by my side. i know I'll get there!#some of you would never rest without telling me to appreciate myself so... thank you. So much #I'm looking forward to another fantastic year with all of you amazing and hectic idiots <3

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