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drariellevalentine · 4 years

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Medically Inevitable

Chapter 10- Puzzling Pathways

Characters:- Ethan Ramsey, Arielle Valentine, Alyssa Raines, Arabelle Raines, Naveen Banerji, Sienna Trinh, Elijah Greene, Jackie Varma, Landry Olsen, Harper Emery

Pairing:- Ethan Ramsey x Arielle Valentine

Warnings:- Swearing

Arielle’s PoV:-

You wake up quite early with a throbbing head and roll out of bed, making sure not to wake up Belle and Aly. The sun hasn’t risen yet, so you assume it’s around 4. After your morning routine, you pick up Naveen’s latest test reports with a cup of tea and head over to your balcony. Going through it, you can’t find much that catches your eye. You head back inside after an hour and find the duo awake.

“Good morning...”, Belle greets you accompanied with a yawn.

“I thought you were sleeping. I’ll head straight to Flair’s HQ and get ready there with Belle. Our flight ’s at 9pm.”, Aly replies while heading towards the bathroom.

“Hey Belle, are you ready to see daddy again?”, you ask.

“Mhm, can’t wait. I'm going to tell him all about yesterday, it was so much fun.”

“Oh really? What happened yesterday?”, you ask. She launches into a story about how they went to the library and then made pizza for dinner.

“I was going to ask for dessert but I fell asleep. I woke up and saw you sleeping by me. Mommy told me that you brought me here.”, she says with a sheepish grin.

“Well I’m sure you can eat all the ice cream you want when you fly home. Tell daddy to call me, okay?”

“I will!” Aly comes out of the restroom, completely ready.

“Belle, come on. We need to get ready and so does Aunt Arielle.”

“Okay! I’ll be quick!” Aly helps Belle get ready while you decide to make lunch for you and Naveen. You head outside the room to find Jackie and Sienna entering the apartment.

“Good morning Ari! Ines and Kyra just left. I thought you were asleep so I didn’t wake you.”, Si says.

“You both have noon shifts, right? Lucky!”, you reply.

“Yeah, we’ll be nursing our headaches if you need us.”, and with that they both head inside. Opening the fridge, you grab all the ingredients needed for Naveen’s chicken wrap. You get to work, starting with grilling the chicken with a bunch of spices, meanwhile julienning some greens and veggies. After shredding the chicken, you cook the tortillas and layer the fillings, topping them off with dressing and finally wrapping them up. You’re just finished packing the wraps in a container when Aly and Belle come out of your room.

“Alright Belle, it’s time to go. Go say goodbye to everyone.” You point Belle towards Si’s room, she comes out a few minutes later, candy bar in hand.

“Look at what they gave me!”, she shouts with joy leaving both of you to chuckle. She puts the candy bar in her backpack and wraps you up in a hug, or rather your legs. “Bye!...I’ll miss you! When will you come to visit?!”, she asks as you lift her up into your arms and hug her goodbye.

“Maybe during Christmas, okay? Be safe and a good girl!”

“Tell Uncle Ethan and grandpa that I’m leaving!”, She says handing you a few York candies as you lead them to the door. “Bye Arielle, we had a nice time.”, Aly says as she hugs you.

“I did too.” You reluctantly wave them goodbye as they head towards their Über, Belle shouting one last goodbye. “Okay Arielle, time for work.”

A little while later, you’re heading to the nurses’ station after rounds when you see a small crowd near one of the OR’s. Overhearing one of the resident surgeons congratulating Bryce, you head over after the crowd disperses.

“Hey, looks like someone made a good impression!”, you say.

“There was a complication with the surgery and the general surgeon was taking too long to arrive. So I stepped up and performed the procedure, meanwhile scoring a free solo surgery.”, he replies with a smirk.

“Nice! Although I don’t think your friends are happy about that.”, you reply noticing the scowls on the other interns’ faces.

“I came here to be the best surgeon, and right now Dr. Tanaka thinks I’m one of the best.”, he replies.

You smile, “You’re right”-

“Valentine, enough chitchat. Head to the ER.” You whirl around to see Zaid with a scowl on his face.

“Yes, Dr. Mirani!” You shoot Bryce an apologetic look as you head to the ER.

As you enter the E.R. Sarah directs you to the bed of your patient. You find a young woman sitting on the bed along with a guy near her age sitting beside her with a worried expression. As you near them the boy gets up from his seat and to shake hands with you.

"Hi doctor!" He smiles as he shakes your hand enthusiastically.

"Wow, hi and hello," you smile back at both of them and then pick up her chart.

"Willow?" You read out the name.

"That's me, and this is my twin brother, Rowan," she points where the boy is standing.

"Willow and Rowan? Aren't those both-"

"Trees. Yeah. Our parents are uh...outdoorsy type-"

"You can tell the nice doctor, Rowan. She’s a total hippie."

You smile at the twins banter. "What about you too? Have you followed their footsteps?"

Willow grins, "Well I'd say we are... hippie-like."

"We like the environment and all but we also like indoor plumbing," Rowan adds.

"Sounds like a compromise I could get on board with.”, you reply chuckling. Willow laughs.

"How long have you been feeling itchy, Willow?", you ask when noticing her continuously itching her skin.

"Uh...mmm...I’m not sure?" She says nervously.

"She‘s had it for a few weeks now, I guess," Rowan answers.

Nodding, you move closerand notice the darkened spider angiomas under her skin. You take a closer and better look at her eyes to find it jaundiced.

"You haven't had it checked out?" You ask, looking for more symptoms.

"Well, I took her to Mass Kenmore the other day but-" he never gets to finish the sentence as Willow cuts him off.

"But the doctor was a jerk. My friend says the doctors here are much more nice."

Willow's voice is filled with nervousness. But you don’t consider it much thinking it's probably because of her sickness.

"Smart friends," you try to lighten the mood. "Willow, I am going to have to listen to your belly. Lie back." You help her lie down.

"Push your hand on your sides," you order and she does so. "Yeah just like this. Now I'm going to give you a little tap."

You lightly strike one side of Willow's abdomen resting your hand on the other side.

"What are you doing?" Rowan asks both confused and concerned.

"That was fluid wave test for ascites. Fluid buildup in the abdominal cavity," you answer his question.

"What did the doctors at Mass Kenmore say?" You ask after noting the symptoms. Willow and Rowan share a nervous glance.

"He, uh... didn't spend that long with me. He said it's probably the...flu," Willow stammers.

"The flu?" You ask shocked. What doctor in their right mind would diagnose a patient with these symptoms as a flu!

"Yeah? He was kinda sketchy," Rowan trails off.

"He was very sketchy. Just because my chest hurts doesn't mean you have to do the whole consultation with my boobs, right?" Willow lets out a nervous chuckle. Their behavior is suspicious but you decide not to jump to conclusions.

"Okay. What did he prescribe?", you ask.

"Just some antibiotics."

"Antibiotics? But influenza is a virus," you get more concerned now. Was he even a doctor? First he misdiagnosed a simple disease and then he prescribed antibiotics for flu!

"Uh...yeah. So dumb right. He was so...old," Willow tries to laugh it off.

"He was so old, he looked like Yoda," Rowan tries to joke.

"But a mean. A mean Yoda,"Willow adds.

"Okay, but Willow I'm afraid it's not the flu,"you say. "It's likely Hepatitis C."

"Hep C?" Willow asks, her voice tracing fear.

"It sounds scary but it's now curable in a matter of weeks," you try to comfort her.

"That umm...sounds expensive," Rowan says nervously.

"Uhm, yes, Hep C treatment is notoriously costly," you say sadly.

"How costly are we talking?" Willow asks.

"The list cost is $28,000 per month. And we are talking about three months of supply,", you answer.

"It's a lot but it's important for you to get treated," You add, "Hep C causes huge damage to your liver. It can cause total organ failure, even can lead to cancer. It can kill you."

"But how are we supposed to pay for it?" Willow's voice is sad.

"Your insurance can help. Wait a minute, let me take your information,"You say and reach for the paper to note the details down.

"Our insurance info. Uhm...we...gave it to the hospital staff when we got here. Right, Ro?" Willow trails off nervously.

"Yeah, right…" Rowan agrees.

Their behavior looks suspicious to you and suddenly it all clicks into place.

"Wait, you guys don't have insurance, do you?”, you tentatively ask.

The twins look at each other helplessly. "...No. We don't," Rowan says after a brief moment of silence.

"Usually when I’m sick, I just hope for it to go away. But this time the symptoms are getting worse," Willow states.

"Mass Kenmore wouldn't even look at Willow without insurance," Rowan adds.

"And we definitely can't afford 28 grand a month," Willow states.

"Yeah, I know. It's total bull. Believe me it makes my gut churn when I have to tell patients they can't afford what they need to survive.", you reply with anger.

"But what can we do about it?" Willow sighs.

"I am not sure…" you try to think of a way to help them.

"Please doctor. I'll do whatever I can to help Willow but I don't earn much either. Our parents don't have any savings. They don't even believe in modern medicine," Rowan says angrily.

"I told my mom I was sick and she said to sleep with an amethyst on my chest," Willow adds.

"We're already in debt from college.This bill will ruin us. Isn't there anything for me to do. Could I work it off somehow?" Rowan asks.

"It's not a restaurant, Ro. We can't do dishes or something. We'll just have to...go," Willow says sadly and gets down the bed.

"But you heard what Dr. Valentine said could happen," Rowan says concerned.

Willow get up to leave.

"Wait, don't go yet. I'll see what I can do," you stop her.

"You'll help us?" Rowan smiles hopefully.

"I can't promise anything. But I'll try," you say sincerely.

"Thank you Dr.Valentine," Willow smiles and for the first time the smile seems genuine.

You reply back with a smile,"First things first. We can't treat Hep C without knowing it's genotype. So I'll need to draw blood sample."

After admitting Willow, you’re trying to think of a way to get the vial to lab. But you know the you can't hand it over to the pathology lab without a resident's signature. And you'd need to do it without anyone asking questions. That's when you see Ines. "The just person for the work," you think and walk towards her pleading for the best. "Hi Arielle. All done in the E.R.?" she asks as you approach.

"Yeah. I was actually looking for you!" You try to smile but your nervousness gets in between.

But she doesn't really seem to notice the hesitation."At you service. What do you need?",She asks smiling. You hesitate for a moment. Weighing your options you decide on telling her the truth, even though it might have risks.

"My patient has Hep C. And I need to run a blood test for further treatment but…" You pause not sure how to say,"but they don't have any insurance."

Ines understands what you are saying and her face falls slightly.

"Oh…"she says after a moment of silence.

"I admitted her. But she can't afford to be here, let alone treatment. She wanted to leave," you state sadly.

"Then I'm afraid you'll have to let her."

"But…" you stop not knowing what to say. You thought that out of all people maybe Ines would understand and help you.

"One of the hardest thing is to learn you can't help everyone. As a doctor your responsibility is to help the people you can help." She puts a comforting hand on your shoulder before walking away. You lean against the nearest wall as a wave of disappoinment washes over you. Later, you head towards the cafeteria for a quick break and then a few more post-op check-in’s.

After checking on one of your post-op patients, you carefully sneak around the construction site and enter Naveen’s room, lunch in hand.

“Sunshine! What a lovely surprise!”

“Hi dad, I brought lunch. Belle and Aly went back to Flair. Their flight’s at 9.”

“Belle was a nice surprise yesterday. You know, I think she managed to make Ethan like her.”, he replies.

“Yeah, she told me all about how she went to the library and Uncle Ethan read her a bunch of stories.”, you say as you draw blood for another test. Filling the vial with blood, you dispose of the needle and wash your hands.

“So, what have you made for lunch?”

“Your special chicken wraps.”, you reply with a smile as you hand one to him. You both take a bite. “So? How is it? Does it resemble yours at least a little?”

“It’s quite close, but the seasoning is slightly off.”

You roll your eyes. “That’s because it’s your recipe! And no one can perfectly make your recipes!”, you exclaim.

“She’s right Naveen. Your recipes are quite tricky to master.” You turn around to find Ethan standing in the doorway.

“Dr. Ramsey. I looked over the files but I couldn’t find much. The blood sample I drew is over there, I think we should try again but maybe..”, you discuss with him about the next steps.

“Ethan. Arielle.” Both of you turn to him. “Will you let a man eat in peace?! Both of you, eat and then discuss whatever you need to.”

“Fine.” You hand a wrap to Ethan.

“Have one, I made a lot more than I can eat.” He tentatively takes one and takes a bite.

“It’s quite good.”

“Thank you. I almost forgot, Belle asked me to tell you that she was leaving tonight and asked me to give these to you.” You hand out the minty chocolate treats to both of them, popping one in your mouth. “Seems like you made quite a good impression on Belle, she likes you a lot.”

“I’m convinced that Ethan likes her more than me! You should have seen him yesterday!”, Naveen exclaims as Ethan groans. Your pager beeps with the results of one of your patient’s tests. Sighing, you pop the last piece in your mouth and close the empty box.

“I have to go, I’ll see you later.”, you say as you kiss him on the cheek and gather your stuff. “Oh and Dr. Ramsey, I didn’t find anything much but I think this might be a small lead.”, you say pointing to the sample and highlighted part of the report. He nods as you exit the room.

After discussing a treatment plan with one of your patients, you’re heading towards the locker room to wrap up your shift early, when your phone chimes. It’s Bryce.

After responding, you change into a pair of jeans and a spaghetti strap top and grab your stuff from the locker. You head to the parking lot, and drive your way home. You unlock your door and find Si dressed up in a 30s theme. “Si! You look beautiful! That side twist is gorgeous! I didn’t know that people dressed up for this.”, you exclaim as you take off your heels.

“Well, I won’t be the only one! I got you a little something.” She rushes into her room and comes out holding a bag in her hand. “I picked out this ivory outfit for you, try it on!”, she exclaims as she hurriedly pushes you into your room to get dressed.

“Okay, okay! Give me a sec!” You pull out the beautiful outfit from the bag and lay it on your bed as you strip and carefully slip on the silky outfit. You tentatively open the door as Si gasps. “So...what do you think?”

“Oh my gosh! You look so pretty, all that’s missing is a matching hairstyle and jewellery. Quick, sit here! I’ll do your hair!” She quickly ushers you on your stool and starts to style your hair with the combs on your vanity. Pulling your hair into a side swept bun, she applies a coat of a pink shade on your lips and lastly helps you add matching accessories. You eye a pair of earrings that match Si’s dress.

“Here! Wear these!” She gasps.

“No way! They’re way too expensive, I can’t wear these!”, she counters.

“Oh shut up! You’re my best friend! You can wear whatever’s in my room.” You quickly trade her earrings and clasp yours on her as she looks in the mirror.

“Wow...these are really pretty.”

“Then keep them, they look much better on you.”, you reply.

“What, no! I can’t possibly”-

“Nope! I won’t take no for an answer.” She finally agrees and hugs you. You both look at yourselves at your floor length mirror for one last time. “Wait! One last touch!”, you say, carefully clasping on the necklace that Naveen gave you.

“Give me your phone! This is a perfect opportunity for a photo op.” She leads to a luminous corner in your room and snaps a pic as you do the same for her.

“These came out amazing! I’m posting mine, then we’ll leave.” You both take a few minutes to post your pictures. Just as you’re about to leave, Si’s phone chimes. She picks up the phone and replies, hiding the screen from you. “Hey, you can go without me. I’ll be there a bit later.”, she says.

“Okay…”, you bid goodbye and leave the apartment. You’re strolling down the sidewalk towards Boston Common, eyes sweeping through the crowd for any sign of your friends when finally you spot them.

“Damn, you look even classier in person!”, Bryce says patting the spot next to him. You place your things nearby and squeeze in by Bryce.

“Where’s Sienna? She said she was waiting for you.”, Elijah asks.

“I don’t know.”, you respond. “Just as we were about to leave, she got a text and said she’ll come by a little later.” Just then, you hear a familiar voice greet Elijah.

“Hey.” You all turn around to see Phoebe.

“Ohh...this guy’s got it baaaad…”, Jackie says, noticing the blush on Elijah’s cheeks.

“Shut up!”, you whisper to Jackie.

“Hey Phoebe. You came.”, Elijah spits out, not knowing what to say.

“Yeah...I said I would make it.”, Phoebe replies equally as awkward. You wince at the awkwardness and decide to play the role of Cupid once again.

“Phoebe! I’m glad you made it. Come sit here!”, you say gesturing to the comfy space by Elijah as he mouths a thank you. The pair sit together and click by talking about Star Trek, leaving you, Bryce and Jackie waiting for the screening. You’re about to ask Bryce when the movie starts when a smell of buttery goodness wafts towards you. All three of you turn around to find Sienna and Danny holding a small picnic basket. “Ohh...so that’s what the text was about. Let’s see how she gets out of this.”, you think. “Hey Danny, Sienna didn’t tell us she invited you! Come on, join us!” You scoot over, leaving just enough room for the pair to sit together.

“Hey Arielle. I had an idea, so I went and picked up a few pastries from a nearby bakery.”, he replies with a slight blush on his face. “Ahhh! These two are so cute!”, you think. Sienna hands out the treats as the opening credits roll. You sink your front teeth into a chocolatey croissant. “Mmm...this is good! Great idea!”, you exclaim. All seven of you relax and watch the movie.

After a while, Landry perks up saying, “Hey Arielle, did you find anything on Patient X?”

“Oh yeah Ari! Did you find anything?”, Elijah asks.

You carefully mull over what to say. “Umm…I don’t know anything. “, you say.

“Bullshit!”, says Jackie.

Thankfully, Si comes to your defence. “She’s serious! Zaid was chewing her out today for asking a bunch of questions.” Jackie rolls her eyes as everyone shifts their attention back to the movie. You mouth a thank you to Sienna and watch the movie. A little while later, you and Elijah are getting some drinks for the gang.

“So, I noticed you were a little down when I saw you before lunch today. What happened?”, he asks. You sigh and explain Willow’s condition. His face hardens.

“Elijah?....Elijah?!”

He blinks and turns to you. “Oh sorry.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s alright.” You can clearly tell he’s lying.

“I’m not an idiot.”

He sighs, “It’s always that, don’t treat the condition or you’ll die; or treat the condition you you’ll be financially ruined.” You give him a look.

“...I was diagnosed with chronic spinal cord damage when I was 5. A surgeon came up with a solution to save my life, but it bankrupted my parents. They had to sell everything for my surgery. That’s why I wanted to become a doctor, you know? If it weren’t for that surgeon, I wouldn’t have been here right now. That’s what I wanted to do, find solutions for people who have nowhere to turn to.”, tears slowly trailing down his face.

Your heart wrenches. “I’m so sorry Elijah. And for what it’s worth, I know your parents would have made that decision over and over again for you.”

“I know. Do you know that there are government clinical trials for some patients?”, he asks.”

“Oh! I didn’t know that.” He doesn’t get any better.

“You are worth it, do you hear me? You are an amazing, wonderful and sweet person and whoever has gotten the pleasure to know you are blessed.”

He nods as he returns your hug. You buy the drinks and head back towards your friends.

Long into the movie, you’re completely bored and lost. “Does anybody know what’s going on?”, you ask.

“Well, Rosie’s supposed to hide out in Richard’s office until he leaves for the files of...or Wait I think it was...Oh forget it! I’m lost too!”, Landry exclaims. Your friends start talking, ignoring the movie as Bryce turns to you.

“So, you want to ditch this place?”

“I thought you were the one who said this would be ‘fun’!”, you counter.

“Hey! No point in making mistakes longer than you need to! Now, you coming or not?”, he asks.

You give him an incredulous look. “Where would we go? And I’m dressed like this!”

“We’ll go on an adventure. And maybe fashion you up some clothes meanwhile.”

“Okay, lead the way!” The two of you sneak away from the group and Bryce leads you to a mall. “Really? A mall? This is your definition of an ‘adventure’?”

“Well first, we need to get you some clothes. Second, who said a mall can’t be an adventure?! Just follow my lead!” You and Bryce enter the mall to find the mall mostly empty. “Okay, first you need an outfit change! So, does Miss Celebrity shop at stores like Forever 21 or only high-end brands?”, he teases you.

You roll your eyes. “I shop at Forever 21! And a bunch of other stores that aren’t high-end!”, you defend yourself.

“Okay then! First stop, picking out an outfit for you.”, he walks to the directory and scans the list for Forever 21. “Ah! There it is, second floor. Let’s go!” Both of you take the escalator up and enter the near empty store. “Now, I want you to sit here-“, he pats a bench near the dressing room, “While I go pick out an outfit for you.”

Before you can protest, he twirls around and heads into the women’s section. You decide to check your messages, seeing new texts from Si and Ethan and click on them.

You’re about to go look for Bryce when he appears out of nowhere. “Crap! You scared me!” He gives you a sheepish grin.

“Hehe, sorry about that. Now, go try this on and see if you need a different size.” He hands you the black bag and pushes you into one of the dressing rooms. You open it to find a lace black bralette with an olive green cover-up and jeans. “Hmm...not bad scalpel jockey.”

You slip on the outfit and open your door as Bryce lets out a low whistle.

“Looks like it fits perfectly.”, he replies.

“It does.” You quickly hand over the clothes to Bryce and give him your purse, but he doesn’t take your purse. He comes back in a few minutes and tosses the outfit through the top. “Hey! A little heads-up would be nice!” You slip on your new outfit and fold your other outfit into the bag. You head out of the dressing room and sit on a bench near Bryce, who’s texting someone.

“It’s Jackie. She wanted to know where we went.”, he says without looking up.

“I told Sienna though.”, you reply confused.

“Apparently, both pairs of lovebirds are grossing Jackie out.” You both laugh. “Just a sec, okay.” You nod and look at the nearby display of nail polish when you hear a click. Turing around, you see Bryce smiling and your phone chimes. Pulling out your phone, you see that Bryce took a picture of you and sent it to you.

“Hmm...who knew scalpel jockey had such photography skills?! I might post this.”, you tease him as you post it.

“So, does that make up for wasting your time?”, he asks.

“Maybe...depends on what adventure we’re going on next.”, you reply.

“Well, first we need fuel for our adventure. We’re getting some food!”, Bryce exclaims.

“You really know the way to a girl’s heart.” He flashes his signature grin and leads you to Chick-fil-A after paying for your outfit.

“How do you know I like Chick-fil-A?”, you ask.

“I don’t .”, he nonchalantly replies. He heads inside and orders two chicken burgers with a side of fries and an Oreo milkshake. You both take a seat in the booth after picking out your favourite sauces and water.

“I come here only for the mayo, and then stuff as many packets as I can in my pockets. It’s sooo good!”, you exclaim as he laughs.

“You remind me of my sister.”, he says.

“Careful Lahela, then I might come to the conclusion that you like me as a friend.”, you tease. He’s about to reply when the employee calls out your order. You get up but he doesn’t let you, and carries the tray full of goodness and carbs back to your table. “Such a gentleman.”, you say. Taking the burger from the tray, you unwrap it and take a bite (not before adding a little extra mayo, of course). “Ohmygod…”

“There’s nothing like comfort food.”, he says handing you a spoon for the Oreo milkshake.

“Yeah, comfort food becomes your best friend after a breakup.”, you say.

He raises an eyebrow. “And when was this?” He notices the hesitation on your face and places a hand on your shoulder, “Hey, it’s alright. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s okay...he was my first love. We met at med school, he was in his second year of med school for neuroscience and it was my first for internal medicine. It was my first week, I was in Hopkins’ central library trying to reach for a book and managed to pull down the whole section of books somehow.”

He chuckles, “Sounds like you, alright!” You roll your eyes.

“It sounds cliche, but he helped me up and with the books, then took me out to cheer me up. After that, we met up more and more and found ourselves going on dates. He didn’t have classes together so we mostly met up during the weekends and texted everyday. Later, I met Laura.”

“Who’s Laura?”, he asks.

“She is...was my best friend through all of med school. I’ll explain. We started dating three months later and made it official at the end of the year. We took it slow, both of us respected each other’s careers and dreams so we never had many disagreements. It was amazing, all 5 and a half years of med school. I had a wonderful, kind considerate boyfriend who knew everything about me and a best friend that always had my back. Everything was perfect, he never used me for my connections and treated me as a normal person.”, you say.

“Hah! Imagine my surprise when I looked you up on Insta!”, he says. You laugh, remembering the day when Raf and Bryce had found out about your celeb status.

“Because he was studying to be a neurosurgeon, he had an extra year so we both ended med school in the same year. His medical idol is Dr. Harper Emery, he would talk about her all the time and really held a level of respect.”, you continue.

“She is mine, too. Have you met her, like personally?”, he asks.

“I have once. It was quite a few years back during one of Edenbrook’s charity galas. Naveen had taken me there as his plus one and I met her, she was someone that you would just hold a certain level of respect.”, you say.

“Woah, woah, woah. Hold on, do you mean Naveen, as in Naveen Banerji, as in the greatest diagnostian of all time?!”, he exclaims. You wince, completely forgetting about that. Taking your time, you explain what happened with him, except about his illness. “Damn, that’s impressive. I mean, changing your last name and starting completely fresh without using any influence. Anyways, continue.”

“As you know, my inspiration and my idol was Dr. Ramsey, and we both wanted to get into Edenbrook for our residency. Laura wanted to go to Johns Hopkins Hospital for their peds program. And after our final exams, we found out that I had gotten into Edenbrook for my residency...and he didn’t. Laura didn’t get into Johns Hopkins either.”, you say recalling the horrid memories after that moment.

“I’m guessing that’s where the problem started.”, he says.

You nod. “At first, he was really happy for me and so was Laura. But after a week, he started acting cold, like he was keeping a grudge against me. I tried talking to him but he didn’t try to talk it out. One day, I couldn’t take it anymore and burst, screaming at him why he was doing this.”, your throat hitches.

“What happened?”, you can see the anger in his eyes.

“...he had the audacity to say that I had used people to get into Edenbrook for my residency. I was shocked, having thought that the person who knew me so well thought I was using my name to rig the system. We didn’t talk for a week after that, and when I was cleaning out my clothes from his closet,...I found a velvet box. It was an engagement ring.”

Bryce’s eyes go wide. If only he knew what happened next. “I thought that we could fix this, I thought that he loved me, our relationship could be saved and we would be happy. So, I knocked on his door but no one answered. After a while, I couldn’t wait so I unlocked the door with the key he gave me and…” You take a deep breath. “...Laura was kissing him….and he was kissing her back.” By now, tears are slowly making their way down your face.

“That asshole! What the hell was he thinki”- He stops at the sight of your face and takes a seat beside you, comforting you. “Hey, hey, hey. Don’t cry now. You’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever met and I’ve met a lot!” That makes you smile a bit. “That guy is an idiot, alright, for letting one of the most kind, compassionate and selfless women I’ve ever known. He doesn’t deserve you, alright!?“

You nod, brushing away your tears. “Okay.”

“Now, no more crying. Tonight, we’re going to have the time of our life! Now, finish up and we’ll go.” You finish up your food as Bryce tells you about the crazy parties he went to at Stanford.

“Oh my god! I can’t believe you did that!”, you shriek.

“I did. Now, let’s go!” After throwing away everything, you head out and Bryce leads you inside Walmart.

“What are we doing here?”, you ask.

“Just watch.” You watch as he strolls casually near a rack of clothing and yells, “There’s a snake in here!!” Your mouth and eyes widen in horror as everyone screams and runs away, leaving racks and displays to topple over each other, making a mess. “Oh sorry guys! It was just a scarf!” He quickly runs away pulling you with him out of the store before the employees can see you.

“What the hell did you do that for?!”, you half shout.

“What are you talking about, that was epic!? My mission today is to cheer you up, and I will do whatever it takes even if I have to makeshift a zip line from the 5th to the 1st floor.” You try to hide a smile but unsuccessfully end up bursting with laughter.

“Those people were sooo scared! And then I swear, one lady looked like she was about to bite your head off!!”, you say.

“Well, we’re not done yet.”, he drags you away before you can protest. A few minutes later, you’re standing in front of Urban Outfitters. “I have one more idea, and then it’s your turn.”, he says.

“What! No, there’s no way!”, you exclaim.

“Uh, uh, uh. You’re doing it.” He drags you into the store and randomly grabs three different pairs of jeans and heads towards the dressing room. “Wait here.” He points to a secluded corner as he goes inside the dressing room.

After several minutes, the door suddenly bursts open and Bryce makes a big scene. ”Ugh! What kind of jeans are these? None of them are leak-proof!” He says as he throws the jeans to the side and disappears in the racks, a few seconds later appearing by your side. You have to clamp your mouth shut after witnessing the attendant ‘s flustered and wide-eyed face.

After you both manage to escape from the shop without the woman noticing, you burst out in a fit of giggles. “Leak-proof?! That poor woman was astonished!”, you manage to blurt out in between laughter. You look up to see him smiling at you.

“What?”, you ask.

He gives you a devilish grin. “Now, it’s your turn.” Your eyes widen.

“No, no, no, no, no! There’s no way I’m embarrassing myself, that too on purpose! I have a reputation to uphold!” He looks at you. “Fine! Let me think!” You look around and spot an abandoned shopping cart, which triggers the memory of a prank Mark played before. A smirk fills your face as you say, “I have an idea. All I need is some clear beading wire.” He looks at you. “Don’t worry! I know what I’m doing!”

This time, you’re the one dragging him inside Michael’s and quickly pick out a strong wire. After paying for it, you turn to him. “Is there like a grocery store or something here?”

“I saw a Target on my way here. I think it was on the second floor.”, he says. You go down to the second floor and spot the Target.

“Okay, so are you going to tell me what your master plan is?”, he asks with a raised eyebrow. You pull him down and whisper in his ears. His eyes widen. “I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“Well, you should now by now that I’m full of surprises.”, you say as you enter the shop. After wondering around for a bit, you find the perfect place to execute your plan. You carefully set up the wire as Bryce goes to get a shopping cart.

“Did someone ask for a shopping cart?” You roll your eyes as he pushes the cart to you. “Shut up and help me with these wires.” After another 15 minutes of prep, you are finally ready to execute.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”, he asks.

“It was your idea. Plus, I’m not backing out now. Ready?” He nods as the both of you take your places. He mouths, “3...2...1!” You let out a high-pitched scream as the shopping cart rolls towards you. Attracting attention, you quickly run across the aisles as the shopping cart mysteriously follows you at quite a speed. People start shouting and screaming and you keep running and shrieking, Bryce nearby controlling the shopping cart with the wires. Everyone is freaking out, screaming and shouting, things on the shelves are completely scattered, the floor a huge mess until suddenly, you’re pulled back. Turning around, you see a security guard holding the wire, exposing you and Bryce. Shit!

A while later…

“So, I guess you being an actor and all didn’t help...that wasn’t a good idea was it?”, he says. You’re standing outside the mall you’ve been banned from for a month.

“No it wasn’t…”, you both burst out laughing. “I had an amazing time Bryce. Thank you.”

“Of course, you’re my sister from another mister.”, he makes you laugh for the millionth time as you both walk back to your apartment. By the time you reach home, it’s already 11.

“Just keep in mind that everything won’t always have a readymade solution. Sometimes you have to make your own path. Goodnight Elle.”

“Goodnight Bryce.”, you lightly kiss his cheek and head inside. After getting ready for bed, you slide into your sheets and let today’s events wash over you...when it hits you. “I know how to save Willow!” Hopping out of bed, you quickly grab a notepad and a pen. Propping open your MacBook, you start typing in a search query, knowing you have a long night ahead of you.

The next morning, you’re walking to the front desk to ask the whereabouts of Chief Emery.

“Hey Arielle! Need help with anything?”, you look to your right and see Danny walking towards you.

“Good morning Danny. Have you seen Chief Emery? I need to ask her about a treatment for a patient.”

“Umm...I think I saw her go into OR 6, but there isn’t any surgery though.” He shrugs and walks away. You shout a thank you and head to the sixth floor where all the scheduled surgeries are performed. The door is ajar as you near the OR, taking a peek inside, you see her hovering over the surgical tools, hands running over them as if she’s greeting an old friend. You wait for her to notice you until she turns around, your signature vanilla scent wafting in the air.

“Dr. Valentine. What can I do for you?”, she asks. You take a deep breath and launch into your prepared pitch for Willow’s treatment. After you’re done, your nervousness gets ahold of you leading to you biting your lip.

“So you’re telling me you want to exploit a fully funded government study for a patient’s treatment?”, she asks.

“It’s the only way for my patient to be able to afford her treatment. Edenbrook won’t be held of any charges.”, you reply thinking that as the chief, that’s what she’s worrying about.

“You sound like Dr. Ramsey.” You don’t know why, but your heart swells with pride.

“I take that as a compliment.”

She thinks it over, leaving you thinking that you blew it until, “Hand it here.” You can’t stop the smile blooming on your face as you hand her the papers. She signs them and gives them to you when your pager beeps.

“Excuse me.” You see that Willow’s being discharged. Crap! You quickly grab the papers and run back to the 1st floor all while shouting, “Thank you!” You swear that you hear her laugh.

By the time you burst into Willow’s room, you’re out of breath and the pair of twins look at you like you’re wearing an octopus as a hat. “Dr. Valentine? Is everything alright? Is something wrong with my sister?”, Rowan asks nervously. You look up to see Willow dressed and all her belongings packed as you catch your breath.

“You don’t have to leave! I found a way for you to receive your treatment!” You explain your findings and the government study. “So, it will cover all your medical expenses but both of you will have to agree.”

“Of course, I’d do anything for my sister. But, we both are still in college debt. I’ll just have to work a few extra shifts. Thank you so much, Dr. Valentine!”

You pull out the check you wrote yesterday night. “I want you to have this. It will help with your debts.” His eyes widen as he looks over the amount.

“I...I can’t possibly take this. It’s way too much”-

“No please, keep it. What’s the point of being rich if you don’t use it to help others?”, you say. Rowan hugs you.

“Thank you so so much for all your help Dr. Valentine. We’ll never forget this.”, Willow says.

“Of course.” You’re interrupted by a sharp knock at the door. Opening it, you find a doctor, but not one of Edenbrook’s.

“You must be Dr. Valentine. I'm the doctor you spoke with on the phone yesterday. There is some initial paperwork which has to be looked over and signed.

“Ah yes. You must be Dr. Martin. We’ll get started.”

After finishing up the paperwork, you head to the nurses’ station with a big smile on your lips. "What are you smiling about?" A familiar baritone voice from behind you grabs your attention. You turn around to find Ethan looking at you raising his brows.

"I found a way to help some people who deserve it. It's a really good feeling," your smile broadens.

"Well done, Rookie,", he shockingly offers you a rare smile before leaning closer. He rests one of his hands on your arm."And thanks for not telling anyone about… my patient." He sighs sadly as you study his features.

He doesn't seem happy or relieved but surely seems better rested. You sadly smile at him, "Of course...you’re not the only one who wants him to get better."

He nods at you understanding. His hand rests on your arm for one last moment after he squeezes your arm as a thank you, letting them fall to his sides.

You turn away as he requests for one of his patient charts from Marlene. You freeze seeing Dr. Emery standing across the hallway, looking at the two of you thoughtfully. You are brought back to reality by Ethan's voice, thanking the nurse and leaving. Harper looks at you one last time before walking towards the direction where Ethan went.

Ethan's P.O.V

You are forced to look up from Naveen's recent test results when you hear a knock.

"Come in," you say keeping your voice devoid of any friendliness, thinking it was some intern. “Or a certain intern with violet hair!”, your mind reminds you. The door opens, revealing Harper who waltzes in and takes a seat opposite to you.

“What can I do for the Chief of Medicine today?”, you ask.

“I just wanted to see how my friend was doing. Is that a crime?”, she asks.

You scoff, “I’ve known you for a long time Harper, and quite well enough to know when you want something.”

“I’ve been noticing you’ve been quite distant these past few weeks, you’re never found in your office, always somewhere around the hospital.”

“So she has been noticing your behaviour.”, you think. “I’m not distant. I’m just busy.”, you reply with a roll of your eyes.

Her voice softens, “Ethan, you know I’m still your friend. You can talk to me.”, she says.

“Not anymore, not when you’re the Chief of Medicine I can’t.”, you think. You blatantly lie, “I’m perfectly fine Harper. Now I’m sure you have much more important work to do.” With a sigh, she exits your office.

”I know she’ll discover this someday, but when she does...would everything be alright?”

Part 1 of taglist:- @kaavyaethanramsey @rookie-ramsey @ohramsey @ohvamsey @hopelessromantics4life @realmrsramsey @mysticaurathings @binny1985 @maurine07 @alina-yol-ramsey @helloitsthiv @tsrookie @arcticlumineer @mary-c92 @sad-satan-herself @whippedforethanfreakingramsey @archxxronrookie @ethansrookie02 @semanticsandsea-lemons @mrandmrsramsey @nikki-2406 @deepikakkannan @siaramsey @katkart122 @openheartthot @imonlybibecauseofethanramsey @akshara16 @luvevelynclaire @literaryexpress @miss-smrxtiee @nadeen-ahmed11 @mrsalanrickman394 @drstellavalentine @ethandaddyramseyx @annekebbphotography @custaroonie @ladyrileybrooks @robbies-sutcliffe @cralinedp @bladesofopenheart @ezekielbhandarivalleros @daddyethanramsey @aquirkychica @romewritingshop @lilyvalentine @xpandabeardontcarex @in-love-with-a-trans-girl @coastalengineer @starrystarrytrouble @clowneryme

#open heart #playchoices #ethanjonahramsey #ohsy #collab #ethan x mc #modern au #open heart fanfic #from the bottom of my heart #thank you for never getting tired of them #diyaa writes

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oureuphoria · 4 years

Text

Liars, Humans and Werewolves, Oh My.

Synopsis: Your father (a werewolf) and your mother (a werewolf) were concerned about your friend-making skills so they made deal with Jungkook to befriend you (a human). He knew he shouldn’t have agreed, he knew from the moment he spoke with you that it would blow up in his face but he genuinely believed what you didn’t know couldn’t hurt you. It was a friendship founded on lies but to Jungkook it was the realest thing he knew. or “I don’t study fictional characters for fake friends, Y/N.”

Genre: fluff, angst, crack

Pairing: werewolf!jungkook X human!reader

Word count: 7.9K

Warnings: I don’t think there is any but lemme know if I’m wrong.

Note: Hiiiii!! Okay, so this oneshot was long overdue I am so sorry but I hope you enjoy. I’m not American and I’m not a werewolf so if any information is inaccurate I sincerely apologise. I proofread but there's a chance there might be some mistakes because I am a fool.

You approached your father as he was loading the car. “Why do we have to go?” You whined while also sluggishly lugging extremely large bags into the car to help him. “It’s a learning experience Y/N. Stop whining.” Your face fell at your his stern exclamation but the second he turned around you stuck your tongue out at him. “I just don’t understand the fundamentals of going to New York for 2-weeks just for a stupid party where you, mom and Miri have loads of fun while Henry and I suffer.” He ignored you as he closed the trunk and told you to get in. You were not making the car ride easy and your dad had to threaten to leave you on the side of the road to get you to stop complaining.

You were fully aware that werewolves were often stigmatised and misunderstood but you couldn’t help but panic a little when you were stuck in a room full of them. Sure, your fear was foolish since both humans and werewolves had been at peace for centuries but for some unrecognisable reason, all knowledge of the peaceful history left your mind the moment you entered the huge hall. Your dad was a human but turned before your mom gave birth to your eldest sister, Miri. She came out a werewolf, you and your younger brother Henry, however, didn’t. Although your sister was considered a full-blooded werewolf (and thanks to your mother an extremely prestigious werewolf at that), you and Henry were outcasts. It was uncommon for human-turned-werewolves to reproduce humans ‘lacking the wolf gene’ and being dragged to this party with your family just reminded you of the fact that you were in retrospect, a failure. At least you had your 14-year-old failure of a brother by your side.

While everyone coexisted in tranquillity, it was unorthodox for a human to know about werewolves unless they were a werewolf’s mate or in your rare case, a failed human child of two werewolves. You were sure you could never be any werewolf’s soulmate or anyone's soulmate for that matter, your heart was sworn to Netflix and 50 cats. The unorthodoxy of your situation meant that there was always an impenetrable tension between you and werewolves, one that made you extremely uncomfortable.

Despite all the weird stares and snarls that were hurled your way, your dad was optimistic. He always thought that being a human was great and that these parties were just simply learning curves that you needed to get past. “Henry, if you eat one more cupcake you’ll turn into one. Slow down!” He mocked you before shoving the other half of the cupcake in his mouth. You rolled your eyes and walked away to find him a napkin before you were kidnapped by your father. “Dad, what-“ “Y/N, say hi to the Jeons.” You didn’t really remember the Jeon family that much. All you knew was that your father and Jeon Songwook used to be super close. You also knew that when Songwook later married his beautiful wife, he had 2 children. Junghyun and Jungkook. Junghyun was the eldest and graduated with your sister, he was standing there clad in an expensive suit next to his girlfriend who’d you’d met at the last extravagant party. Jungkook was standing there also clad in an expensive suit with his eyes trained on your sister. You mustered the best smile you could though you were sick and tired of being the family’s pity show and tell story.

“Y/N, I’ve heard a lot about you, you’re the same age as Jungkook right?” You nodded subtly, unsure where this conversation was going. “I heard you got a perfect score on your SAT.” You saw Jungkook’s face morph into one of anger in the corner of your eye. “Dad-“ Before Jungkook could finish his father put his hand on your shoulder. “Walk with me, Y/N?” You looked at your father for help but he just shrugged. Your mother mouthing ‘don’t fuck this up’ at you as you walked past her. “Jungkook, he’s very athletically talented but he’s not the most academically inclined. He got into Princeton but purely on sports and I’m concerned that if he doesn’t get his grades up, he won’t have a back-up plan.” You nodded understandingly, he seemed like a genuinely nice man from what you could tell so you listened to him.

“What are you asking me to do, sir?” He chuckled at your worried eyes. “Just call me, Songwook, Songy if you want, that’s what your dad calls me.” You let out a small laugh, fighting back the urge to yawn. “I know that you’re going to Princeton too and I also know you’re taking a class in photography. Your dad showed me a couple of your photos, they really are beautiful.” Before you could even begin to thank him he continued. “My son is majoring in corporate law, like you, and I just thought it might be easier for him to start off if he had the support of someone as intelligent as you.” “Sir, I’m really not that smart-” He cut you off with a wave of his hand. “Nonsense, every parent in this room wishes they had a child as smart as you.” You laughed a little harder than last time. You wished that was true but you knew it was quite the opposite. Everyone here was just glad they weren’t raising two humans.

“So, do you want me to tutor him?” He nodded with a smile and you smiled back half-heartedly. You were already on bad terms with the werewolf society and now you were about to get on the bad side of the human one. Jungkook went to your high school but it was big and you never really talked to him. He was popular, naturally, and the attention that he generated was mostly from girls, also naturally. He was seen as untouchable though, he was nice, polite and a true charmer but he never stayed with a girl long enough to call her his. It felt weird to call him a fuck boy because he didn’t fit the image. He wasn’t reckless or cruel and he wasn’t a complete boneheaded idiot with a lack of morals. He was admirable, truly and from what you had known there was not a single person who hated him. You had a theory that he was emotionally unavailable because he was waiting for his mate but you never spent too long on it, you never really cared enough to.

Songwook walked you back to the cluster that was your merged families and once your family was alone you were bombarded with questions from your parents. “What did he say to you?” You gave them a pointed look to which they gave you a playful slap on the arm. “Hurry!” You took a deep breath creating suspense before ruining all their hopes in one sentence. “He just wanted me to tutor his son.” Your dad elbowed you slightly before letting out a long sigh. “We were worried he was going to ask you to marry Jungkook or something.” You started laughing uncontrollably before stopping abruptly. “What’s Miri doing with him, she knows he’s just into one night stands.” Your father shrugged before your mother interfered. “We warned her but your sister is old enough to make her own decisions.” You scoffed before turning to face them with crossed arms. “So, she can have sex with a guy that you know is going to leave after but I can’t buy a Nintendo Switch? She’s only 2 years and 7 months older than me!” Your parents just blinked at your outburst before they floated away to go impress another family.

You went to find Henry but he was nowhere to be seen and you literally searched everywhere. He was probably hiding in the men’s room on his phone watching Netflix but you couldn’t just go in there. You saw Jungkook leaning against a wall on his phone so you approached him without really thinking about what you were going to say. “Jungkook!” He looked up from his phone and gave you a tired smile. “This might be a little weird but do you think you can go into the men’s bathroom to see if my brother is in there?” He looked at you with widened eyes, he nodded slowly before making his way to the bathroom, you trailing behind him, he turned around and scratched his neck sheepishly. “Uh…what’s his name again? Sorry, I forgot.” You let out a laugh that you were trying to suppress before letting him know that his name was Henry.

Once Jungkook made it out, your brother next to him, you gave him a huge beaming smile. “Thank you!” He just nodded in return before making his way off to the bar. “Oh shit, you have a crush on Jungkook!” You turned around to look at your brother with a face of confusion. “What?” You gave him a good slap on the back of the head but he was undeterred. “You totally find him cute.” You rolled your eyes before putting your arm around his shoulder. “Everyone finds him cute. Now, I think I found a way to convince mom and dad to let us buy a Nintendo Switch.”

You had spent hours with Henry, even though he was 14, you were closer to him then you’d ever be to Miri. That wasn’t her fault though, it just turned out that way. “So, are you going to buy the new Resident Evil game?” You already knew where this was going. “Yeah, so that you can play the entire game before me.” He groaned at your stubbornness, refusing to let that one incident go. “How many times must I say I am sorry?” He was swinging your arm back and forth while exclaiming dramatically. Eventually, though, your parents came back and let you know it was time to go back to the hotel.

You were moving to New Jersey in 3 days and Henry did not like that. “Take me with you, I can fit inside your luggage if you make a little room.” Henry had been attached to your hip ever since this week had started. “I told you, I’ll kidnap you after I leave so it doesn’t seem suspicious.” He laughed, flopping down on the couch next to you. “I’m going to miss you. I don’t know how I’m supposed to survive as the only person of culture in this household” You furrowed your eyebrows at him. “Dad’s okay sometimes.” He gave you an all-knowing look and you sighed. “Okay so you’ll have to be the only person of culture for a bit but I’ll be back before you know it.”

Jungkook had avoided you the first week there. Whenever you tried to approach him he’d pretend he was busy or blatantly ignore you. You called your dad for help and he just said he’d talk to Songwook about it but it had been 2 days and he still made you feel like a plague-infested rat. You were in the library, reading over your schedule and trying to make sense of it. You were horribly bored but there was nothing better to do so you sat there and played games on your phone.

“You’re a snitch.” The voice scared you so much you threw your phone and lost at the game. “And you made me lose a chance at beating my high score!” You picked up your phone and looked up to be met with an angry Jungkook. “Yikes, who hurt you?” You went back to your phone but he snatched it out of your hand. “I don’t need your help.” You put your arms up to ‘surrender’ though you had no idea why he was so angry. “I didn’t know, your dad-” “My dad doesn’t care about my grades, just my reputation. You’d know all about damaging your parent's reputation though so no wonder he asked you.” You gulped, that was unexpected. “Gee, thanks.” You packed up whatever you had out on the table as quickly as you could and left. “Fuck…Y/N wait I didn’t mean that!” You heard him yell after you but you didn’t care, this was the one place where you thought you could escape it but your image followed you everywhere as long as a werewolf was there.

You rented an apartment alone, not wanting to deal with the havoc of dormitories or live with your sister and her chaos. You had saved up enough to maintain yourself for a while, doing small jobs at your dad's law firm sure helped but now you needed a real job. You weren’t too stressed about finding a job yet because you had some time and you were a master procrastinator. What really stressed you out was college. If anyone found out about your ‘background’ everyone would think that you bought your way in and that was the last thing you needed, all you had to do was avoid anyone you knew and remain unnoticed. Which would be hard considering your sister and Jungkook were around.

Thinking about Jungkook was starting to make you mad again so you got up and stretched, ready to unpack the few boxes that now contained your entire life. The apartment came furnished and you had already been up there to get the bulkier stuff settled with your family’s help so now you just had to sort through smaller things which you did with a frown. Once you were done, you expected to feel a sense of completion, excitement even, but you felt nothing. If anything you felt scared.

It was a Wednesday in your second week of college. You desperately hoped it would go better than your first week though you can’t think of a way for it to go any worse. But of course, the world is full of surprises. “Y/N!” You turned the other way when you saw Jungkook jogging towards you. You tried to walk with as much speed as you could muster but he was an athlete, you should’ve known better. “Y/N, I’m sorry, what I said was horrible.” He stopped in front of you while you looked at your feet. “It’s okay, I won’t snitch. I already forgot about it.” You tried to reason but he clearly didn’t believe you. “Why’d you turn around the other way then?” You stayed silent because you had no good excuse. “Let’s meet for lunch, my treat, I owe you.” You shook your head quickly. “I already ate lunch.” He looked at you weirdly before laughing. “Y/N it’s 8:30, I believe we call that breakfast.” Your face morphed into an embarrassed smile as you wished desperately for the ground to swallow you whole.

“So, you’re an alpha?!” Jungkook gestured for you to quieten down as while he looked around cautiously to see if anyone overheard. “No way, you totally don’t seem like an alpha.” He looked at you with an offended face which you just shook off. “Come on, alphas don’t run after people just to apologise, Jungkook.”

“Well, they can.” He retorted with just as much spite as you. “Evidently.” You looked him up and down while you said it and he flicked your forehead in response. You tried to take a bite of your burger but parts of it started slipping out. “I don’t know why they say Miri is the better sister, you clearly have so much class.” He said this while you were trying to eat your now deformed burger but you were not enjoying the scrutiny. “You’re so funny.” You replied mockingly which just made him laugh in return. “So, why the sudden change of heart? You used to look at me like I ran over your dog.” He winced at the memory before putting his fork down. “It was embarrassing, I never asked for help before and it was weird for me. Besides, I didn’t actually need help my dad was just paranoid.” You nodded understandingly because you sure did understand, you hated asking for help just as much as the next guy but you weren’t as well-rounded as Jungkook was, you definitely needed help in some areas.

“If I was a werewolf, I’d be an alpha, right?” Jungkook gave you one look before laughing obnoxiously, you put a hand on your heard feigning offence. “You’d be a beta.” You were now genuinely offended but pushed that back for the moment to provide room for your curiosity. “Why?” When he looked at you with a playful gaze you were prepared for a snarky comment. “Because people who want to be alphas are automatically betas. You don’t choose your role, your role chooses you.” You gave him a playful nudge into the wall as he was walking you home. “Okay Gandalf, when did you get so wise?” He laughed harder than he should’ve and you gave him a questioning look. “Who even is that?” Your eyes widened in shock. “Gandalf, Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit?” When he still looked at you with the same blank stare you shook your head disappointingly. “Only a nerd like you would reference something from Lord of the Rings.” You nudged him a little harder this time but he was more prepared. “Y/N, I really am sorry about what I said.” You waved him off. “Admit I’d make the best alpha and I’ll forgive you.” His eyes met yours in an annoyed glare but they still seemed so beautiful to you. You had to tell yourself to stop staring before it got awkward. Maybe Henry was right, maybe you did have a tiny crush on Jungkook, but in reality, who didn’t?

“You’re late.” You quickly sat down in front of him, 15 minutes after you’re appointed time. “I know, I’m sorry. The lecture ran over schedule.” He shook his head in fake disappointment and you sighed before playing along. “A wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.” Jungkook looked at you blankly, blinking far too much in an attempt to make you realise how random your references were. “Gandalf, again.” He muttered ‘nerd’ under his breath and went back to his papers. You hit him with your pen. Despite his father’s word, Jungkook was doing well but you had to admit that he was trying a lot harder than he did in high school.

“Thanks for joining me, I didn’t want to study alone.” You peered over your shoulder to look at the group of girls that were staring at him and giggling. “Could’ve asked someone from your fan club.” When he looked up at you in confusion, you cocked your head to the side that they were on and he sighed heavily. “They do that to every guy, trust me.” You nodded your head with a teasing look which he didn’t find amusing but he didn’t say anything after and you grew worried. “Hey, do you mind covering for me for tomorrow’s 2pm class? I have a wolf thing I have to deal with, just tell the professor that I had a meeting with my coach.” You nodded hesitantly, concerned about what had been stressing him out so much but you didn’t press. It had been 2 weeks since your lunch with him and since then you’d found out a handful of things about Jungkook. He was a competitive swimmer, he had a fear of microwaves, he did not hook-up with your sister and he didn’t like sharing information about himself.

When Jungkook showed up the day after the 2pm class he had to miss, he looked horrible. He had a cut on his lip that was healing and scattered bruises on his face. With how fast werewolves healed, you assumed this was far better than what it had been last night. “You look like roadkill.” You wanted to ask what had happened and if he was okay, but you knew where that would have gone so you skipped the small talk. “Shit, really?” He seemed panicked about what you said which made you even more concerned, it was obvious you were kidding. “No, you look fine just a little beaten. Are you okay?” He didn’t face you so you grabbed his shoulder to make him though when you did you felt a bandage through his shirt. He winced at the contact and you pulled your hand off like it was a hot stove. “Sorry. Jungkook, what happened?” He turned to you and smiled, pulling you by the forearm to your morning class. “There was already a pack here and you can’t have two alphas so I had to fight him. But I won and I’m fine. Trust me, he looks even worse.” You laughed but it seemed half-hearted, you were glad he shared this much though, it was more than you hoped for.

“So, recap on the class. Professor lost his shit at Daniel because he kept swinging on the chair and fell. We discussed conflict of interest in workplaces so shit got gory and someone walked in drunk. Welcome to Ivy League, huh?” He chuckled but it seemed fake and you wondered if he was even listening. You didn’t press further, you thought he had done enough sharing for that day. “Anyways, I have my photography class now so I’m going to go.” He nodded absentmindedly and you walked away with a clouded mind and a heavy heart. You worry made you realise that you definitely liked Jungkook in a completely non-platonic way. You were royally screwed.

You had made a friend in your photography class, his name was Berlin and he approached you for help at first which you didn’t really mind, you needed friends anyway. He asked if you wanted to join him after class to take some pictures around the college to help him with his new DSLR. You agreed with a little hesitation, unsure of how he got into the class with that little knowledge about cameras but you didn’t think much of it, his parents were probably rich. He had a black eye too but he told you it was from his martial arts classes and you believed him because it seemed like a genuine excuse. You had explored almost every surface of the giant campus and surprisingly had a lot of fun, it was refreshing to find someone with the same hobby as you. You called it a day at around 6pm, your class having finished at 4pm. You said goodbye and went home, determined to eat the cereal you had been craving. After saying goodbye, you went home to your eerily quiet apartment, you missed Henry.

“So, how’s college going?” You were eating with your sister who had finally found time for you in her extremely busy schedule. “It’s fine, I hate Professor Golden though.” She laughed, almost choking on her food so you passed her the cup of water. “Thanks. I totally remember hating Professor Golden too, we all made jokes about his last name.” You laughed a little before returning to your food. A thick tension grew in the air, your talks with her were always silent and awkward. You had very little in common.

“I can’t believe my baby sister is already a college freshman.” She cooed at you and you couldn’t help but laugh. She was almost 3 years older but sometimes she made it feel like 13. “Any college guys you find cute?” Your brain stopped working for a moment and you were unsure if you should tell her. “Come on, you can tell me.” She tried to pry it out of you while you just nervously smiled, trying to avoid her questions. Eventually, you gave up because it wasn’t like her to give up on gossip. “I think I like Jungkook.” Her face dropped dramatically and it made you panic a little. “Miri, what’s wrong?” She held your hand and looked at you sympathetically. “Y/N, he’s a werewolf.” She said something that wasn’t new to you. You’d repeated this to yourself far too many times to count. “I know. I’m not expecting anything to happen, I didn’t even expect this to happen it just did. Besides, I’m not in love with him, I’ll get over it.” You felt judged under her stare but you knew she meant well, no matter how harshly she came off sometimes. “Well, he rejected my advances so I really don’t think he’d be interested in you. I’m sorry, Y/N.”

Miri said stupid things often. She lacked the emotional filter behind her words and offended people a lot. You grew thick skin thanks to her but this was where you drew the line. Your entire life you felt lesser than her and she promised you that she’d never do anything to make you feel that way and yet here she was, making you feel like you’ll never amount to her prestige. “Sorry, I need to get back I forgot I had a paper due by 5.” You left a $50 bill on the table and left before she could say anything else to potentially worsen the low blow she just gave you. You felt bad for walking away so abruptly, but you were not in the mood to argue with her, not again.

Unfortunately, your plans of moping on the couch all day were ruined when Jungkook had come over after hearing about the failure of a lunch with your sister, however, you spared him the details. “I bought a bag of junk food, McDonald’s and a whole pack of banana milk.” You smiled at him thankfully from your sad position on the couch which you were sure you were chemically bonded with now. “Did you get popcorn?” He was sorting through the bags before turning to you. “And risk dying via microwave? No thanks.” You laughed before getting up to join him. “Wait till I tell your pack that their alpha is scared of microwaves.” He gasped before clasping his heart dramatically. “You wouldn’t dare.” He started chuckling straight after, an adorable smile on his face.

You watched like 3 movies already and Jungkook was yet to feel sleepy, you, however, were seconds away from passing out. You were both on the couch, legs intermingled under the blanket, your head on his shoulder. It was your first time being this intimate with him and you hated how good it felt. “Jungkook, I’m sleepy.” You looked up at him and he smiled sweetly, forcing you to immediately look away. So, much for ‘getting over it’. “I’ll get going then.” He stood up to stretch, you following him. He grabbed his things off of your coffee table and walked to the door.

“Jungkook, wait!” He turned around as he watched you come towards the door with the pack of banana milk. He fought back a smile as you dropped it into his arms. “Take it, you like them more than I do now.” He chuckled as he watched your eyes intently. “Thank you.” You smiled back at him before realising he was staring at you. Your smile fell as you stared back. “What? Is there something on my face?” You moved your hand to go over your face and he shook his head through hushed laughter. “Goodnight, Y/N.” He had just opened the door when you called out his name and once he turned, you kissed him. He didn’t pull away, just stood there in shock, you first to pull away actually and a flood of regret came crashing into your head immediately after. “Jungkook, I’m so sorry-” Before you could finish he was out the door and you cursed yourself for your spontaneous impulses.

Jungkook had ignored what had happened miraculously, even during your apology he seemed unbothered. He probably felt bad for you but you were just glad he wasn’t mad or upset, besides, now you could truly focus on trying to get over him. You spent most of the day working on your study notes, trying to memorise stuff as best you could. By the time you stopped, it was already 8pm and you had skipped both lunch and dinner. You scavenged your fridge to look for something edible and settled on a pudding cup. College Y/N was doing great.

At around 9, you got a knock on your door which you cautiously went to answer, after seeing that it was Jungkook through the eyehole you opened the door to let him in, strangely, he was really angry. “What the fuck is this, Y/N?” He held out his phone of you to show a picture of you smiling, the sender being Berlin. “It’s a picture of me, how do you know Berlin? Are you friends?” Your lighthearted tone made Jungkook realise it wasn’t your fault that Berlin decided to get to you and that there was no way you could have known. “Y/N, Berlin is the alpha of the pack I took over, he’s messing with you to get to me.” You were mostly shocked but you also felt a little upset. You genuinely thought he was your friend. “I don’t want you anywhere near him, he’s dangerous.” You shook your head a little. “Sure he may be a little mad at you but we’re friends, I-” “I mean it, nowhere near him.” You held your hand out for him to pass his phone over so you could double-check that it was Berlin. You compared the number to the one on your phone to realise that it was indeed him. “You have his number already, fuck Y/N.” Your face hardened before you turned to him. “Sorry, I don’t have a ‘wolf’s intuition.’” You added air quotes for effect which he didn’t quite appreciate.

You noticed his wet hair and his gym bag. “Did you just finish training? Jungkook it’s nearly 10pm.” He shrugged, grabbing his phone back from you and crash landing onto your couch. You couldn’t help but wonder how he could look so beautiful all the time. Sure, you always knew that he was good-looking but it felt like you were looking at a completely different man than high-school-Jungkook. He had endearing eyes, they could look so wide at moments and so closeted in others. His lips were soft, perfectly contrasting his sharp jaw, complementing each other beautifully. He was incredibly alluring in so many ways and it was impossible to escape it, no matter how hard you tried.

Jungkook held onto his shoulder, seeming like he was trying to soothe it from pain. You got up from your seat across from him and moved to stand behind him, taking over his hands and rubbing his shoulder for him. “Fuck, you’re good at this.” You hummed in agreement before laughing jokingly. “I am, right? They should call me Dr Bones.” He leaned his head forward to give you more access, ignoring your joke. You could physically feel how tense his muscles were and it made you worry a lot. Jungkook was the type who could work himself to death, stare at his dead body and still claim that he didn’t work hard enough. “Stop, or I’ll fall asleep. Thank you though.” He got up and grabbed his bag from the floor and made his way to the door. He turned around right before he left. “Y/N. I mean it, stay away from Berlin.” You nodded but you weren’t sure how you were supposed to just start avoiding him without seeming suspicious, besides, he was your only photography friend.

“Hey, Y/N!” Berlin took the seat next to yours like he had been this past week, you didn’t say anything about it because you thought it would be fine but you did begin to regret it when he started whispering to you. “Why so quiet?” You gulped while playing with your camera bag. “I just didn’t get much sleep.” He nodded though you were sure he didn’t believe you. “Meet me behind this building after class. It’s important.” You probably shouldn’t have agreed and you probably shouldn’t have followed through with it but you did because you were an idiot. “You’ve been quiet. Jungkook told you, didn’t he?” You were playing with the sleeves of your jumper when you nodded, he sighed in return. “He took away my pack, my position, it seemed only right that I take something of his.” You gave him a pointed glare, staring at him without a wave of newfound anger.

“I’m a person if you haven’t realised. Not a pawn in your stupid scheme for vengeance. Whatever you have with Jungkook is between you and him, don’t drag me into this.” You were about to walk back but he stopped you, blocking your way with his arm. “Y/N, don’t make me hurt you. All I want is for you to tell Jungkook to back down from my pack.” You smiled with feigned innocence. “Why don’t you tell him? I thought alphas were supposed to be brave…or did Jungkook take your balls too?” Berlin pinned you against the wall, his hands around the collar of your jumper. “You don’t wanna fight me, Y/N.” You pushed his arms off of you, straightening out your clothes. “You’re right, I don’t but since you so gracefully shared with me your perspective, I feel like I have to.” He laughed mockingly before leaning down to stare directly at your face. “And how do you plan on beating a werewolf?” You smiled again, so sweetly it made Berlin sick. In all honesty, you were terrified. If he called on your bluff this would turn into a complete shit-show, you had no fighting experience, you were all bark and absolutely no bite.

“I’m going to fucking kill you.” Before you could decipher where the voice came from Berlin was leaning against the wall against you in pain after the fresh punch to his face from Jungkook. When Jungkook’s eyes locked with yours, he cocked his head to the side. “Go.” You would have protested but his face kind of scared you. You walked away, looking over your shoulder every few steps to make sure no one was dead.

“What the fuck were you thinking? Y/N has nothing to do with this.” “But she does, doesn’t she…?” Berlin started and Jungkook eyes narrowed. “She’s going to find out eventually and then she’ll hate you for not telling her.” Jungkook grabbed him by the collar while he was still against the wall. “If she finds out, it won’t be from you.” He let Berlin go roughly and glared at him before walking away. “She’s going to hate you, you know!” Berlin screamed but Jungkook continued walking away, unsure of how Berlin even found out about Jungkook’s secret.

“Stripes or no stripes?” Jungkook was making you choose between his endless collection of ties and you were so bored you started counting the dots on a polka-dotted one. “Y/N!” You snapped back into reality and faced him with a sheepish smile. “Sorry…no stripes, makes you look more mysterious.” He nodded before putting his stripped ties to the side. “Why are you so stressed about this dinner, anyway? It’s just my family and your family in some fancy restaurant talking about the same boring things over and over.” Jungkook desperately wanted to tell you what had changed but he couldn’t, not yet. “No reason, I just want to impress your parents.” You gave him a scrutinising look and he just avoided it. “Since when do you care about impressing anyone?” He sighed before snatching his polka-dot tie out of your hands. “Go get ready, we’re going to be late.”

“Take the next left…and the destination should be on your right.” You spoke while mocking the navigator which just made Jungkook stare at you weirdly. “I’m bad with directions, I live off of this thing.” You held up your phone to gesture to the navigation app before getting out of his car. “Do I look okay?” He asked nervously and you looked at him, he looked much better than okay. He was clad in slacks and a dress shirt, no tie to your distaste. You remembered arguing with him after he had chosen to not wear a tie after all your efforts. His hair was getting longer but you loved it, especially the way he had styled it that night, not to mention the fact that he had his sleeves rolled up and his top few buttons open. You stopped yourself from staring too long by nodding. “Do I look okay?” Your eyes morphed into offended ones when he winced. You scoffed out loud but he just laughed at your reaction. “I’m kidding, you look great nerd, now move it, we’re already 15 minutes late.” You rolled your eyes, mumbling as you walked in. “Maybe if you didn’t make me spend 40 minutes helping you choose a tie…” He elbowed you slightly, reaching the reception desk and asking about your reservation, once you had taken a seat everyone, including Henry, had their eyes on the two of you.

“Sorry, we’re late,” Jungkook commented, shaking your parent's hands as he sat down. “Wardrobe malfunction.” You joked as you secretly pointed at him. Everyone laughed a little and you were glad you had relieved some of the tension. You saw your brother the day before and boy did he have a lot to tell you, he seemed so excited about this dinner and you were still yet to know why. Now that you were here it seemed like everyone knew something you didn’t.

“How’s college going, made any friends?” Jungkook’s mother asked, directing it at you. You choked because of the sudden question and scoffed down half the glass of water. “College is fine, I haven’t really been focused on making friends.” She nodded, Songwook laughing before joining in. “I wish Jungkook was the same. He befriended half the entire campus on the first day!” Everyone laughed while Jungkook shook his head jokingly, your mom suddenly called your name. “Y/N, could you grab me another napkin dear, I already spilled wine on mine. Clumsy me!” She giggled but it seemed fake, you wondered why she didn’t just ask a waiter to do it. You stood up to grab one from the desk nonetheless.

The moment you left your mother leaned in. “Tell us, Jungkook, does she know?” He shook his head, his father joining in. “I’m glad you suggested we make Jungkook befriend her, otherwise we would have never found out.” “Found out what?” Your mom gasped when you were behind her, napkin in hand. The entire table was silent. “Wait...you forced Jungkook to befriend me? Do you think I’m that intolerable?” Jungkook rubbed his palms over his face, the inevitable was coming. “Y/N, we just know how you struggle with making friends and we thought it would be better to start you off with one,” Miri spoke this time with a tantalising tone.

“So the whole tutor thing, that was a part of this as well? That’s why you were so mad at me about telling my dad that you were ignoring me? Because you didn’t want to fake being my friend?” You directed the question at Jungkook that time and he tried to apologise but you stopped him. “This isn’t about my social skills, is it? You still pity me for being a human so you gave me a werewolf to make me feel better!” You were speaking in a hushed tone so you wouldn’t warrant any unwanted attention but internally all you wanted to do was scream. “Henry, did you know about this too?” When he didn’t reply you scoffed, throwing your hands up in defeat. “Y/N, darling, we-” Songwook had spoken this time but you were quick to cut him off. “Forget it. I’m leaving.” And with that, you grabbed your bag and left. “Y/N come back, I’m your ride.” Jungkook tried reasoning but you were still walking away, your pride clearly getting in the way of your rationality because walking 30 minutes in heels was not rational.

You stared at your sore feet in your Iron Man pyjamas as you cried to Spongebob, this wasn’t your proudest moment but you liked to think there were worse ways you could’ve handled the situation. Your family (Henry and your dad) kept blowing up your phone so you turned it off and sat not-so-peacefully on your weirdly comfortable couch. You heard a knock on the door and you didn’t open it, already knowing who was behind it. “Y/N, let me in please, I have your food.” The idea of opening the door to Jungkook seemed painful but you were also painfully hungry so you opened it anyway, snatching your food out of his hand. You tried to close the door but his foot jammed it and he pried it open with ease despite you using all your effort to keep it shut. You needed to start bulking.

After he got in, you gave up and went back to your couch where you wrapped the blanket back around you and continued watching TV, now with food in your hand. “Y/N, I’m sorry but you have to believe me, I genuinely wanted to be your friend ever since we had that first lunch together, I promise.” You didn’t reply, in fact, your reaction (more so the lack thereof) had him thinking he didn’t even say anything at all. He grabbed the remote from your table and turned off the TV. You gave him a fleeting glare but didn’t say anything else. “Y/N.” You didn’t react once again, eating your pasta with aggression. “Y/N, look at me.” He grabbed both of your shoulders so he could turn you to face him. “I mean it, I’m sorry about how it started but I promise I wanted to be your friend.” You put your foot down, your sadness overpowering your hunger. “Wanted is past tense, should I be worried?” You joked but the tear that slid down your face taunted you straight after. You wiped it quickly but before you knew it more were springing down. He moved his hand to softly wipe your tears away and let out a breath of relief when you didn’t flinch away.

“I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil. But these are so stop crying, nerd.” You darted your eyes up so quickly the blood rushed to your head. “Gandalf!” He smiled at how excited you were. “I don’t study fictional characters for fake friends, Y/N.” Your excitement fled a little but you smiled at him slightly. “There was a reason we had that dinner tonight.” Your smile fell and your face looked puzzled. “Why?” Jungkook took a deep breath before continuing. “If I tell you, you can’t get mad at me. I kept it from you because we all wanted to tell you tonight.” You nodded a little hesitantly, scared about what he was going to tell you.

“Y/N, remember that night you kissed me and I walked out?” You nodded, wincing at the memory. “That night, I found out you were my mate.” You inhaled so quickly you started choking. Jungkook pat your back though it seemed useless. Once your cough calmed down, you punched Jungkook on his arm harshly. “You asshole! I spent that entire night sulking because of you.” He laughed but your glare made him stop abruptly. He took both of your hands in his. “I panicked, I wasn’t expecting it to be you.” You thought he was disappointed so your smile turned into an apprehensive one. “Oh…” He grabbed your face by the chin and made you face him. “I wasn’t expecting it but I was so fucking glad it was.” You started feeling bashful under his gaze so you tried to avoid his eyes. “Is that why Berlin was so adamant on dragging me into your issue, did he know too? I let that bitch use my good camera!” Jungkook sighed at the memory of him but he nodded nonetheless. You jumped up from the couch quickly. “Wait, that means I can turn and then people can stop looking at me like I’m an alien!” Jungkook nodded, laughing at your random outburst. “Only if you want to though, you don’t have to decide that yet, we have time.”

He pulled you back to the couch, this time you landed on his lap. He wrapped his arm around your waist and you leaned your head on his chest. “You’re an ugly crier.” You sat up to frown at him but he just pulled you back to his chest. “I lied, it’s just because I never want to see you cry again.” You pinched his arm and he exclaimed loudly. “What was that for?” You laughed before cuddling into him again. “Insulting me for your selfish desires…wait I have pasta!” You sprung out of his lap to go back to eating your food, turning on the TV in the process and Jungkook wondered how he managed to get paired with someone quite as unique as you.

“I think you’re half-fish.” You said once you saw Jungkook after the swim meet. “If I was would you still love me?” You stopped walking to ponder before shaking your head. He cocked his eyebrow at you before you nodded in agreement with yourself. “I hate fish so, no. Unless you were like a merman, that would be hot. Wait but what if you turn into an actual fish then how-” He pulled you by the arm to continue walking to his car. “I was kidding, Y/N.” You were still stuck in thought. “Yes, but the premise is interesting.” He pinched your cheek in a surprise attack. “Remind me why I’m dating a nerd?” You shrugged before interlocking your hand with his. “Remind me why I’m dating a fish?” He gave you an unamused look which you instantly matched before laughing at him.

“Can I drive?” You asked, mustering the most convincing face you can create, already in the passenger seat. “No,” Jungkook replied sternly, hoping you’d let it go because his resolve was quick to disappear with you. “Please, I need to practice.” He frowned before whining childishly. “Y/N, this is a Mercedes Benz can’t you practice on a Toyota or something?” You rolled your eyes at his dramatic rejection but you came up with a better plan. “I don’t know anyone who drives a- wait, do you think your friend Hoseok would teach me? He drives a Toyota.” Jungkook gave you an annoyed look before begrudgingly exiting the car. You got out excitedly as you rushed to the driver's seat. “You’re evil, you know that?” He asked angrily and you nodded, giving him a kiss on the cheek which forced a smile out of him.

The second you started the engine he began tutting in disappointment. “What?” You turned to him annoyed but he just moved over you to grab the seatbelt, clasping it in place and giving you a kiss which you had to pull away from before it escalated. “I did that on purpose because I knew you would do it for me.” Jungkook just hummed in fake agreement but you paid it no mind. You always felt obnoxiously happy each time he kissed you and you were almost sure you’d never stop. “Jungkook?” He turned to expectantly before you gave him a beaming smile. “I love you, fish or human.” He turned away from you, annoyed at your random confession. “Just focus on the road, okay?” You nodded dutifully and about 5 minutes into your drive home, he randomly called your name. “What, did I turn 0.3 seconds too late?” You joked but he just stared at you.

“I love you too, nerd.”

#jungkook #jungkook imagines #jungkook fic #jungkook imagine #bts #bts fic #bts scenarios #bts imagines #werewolf jungkook #bangtan #bangtan fics #jungkook fics #bts fluff #bangtan fluff #bts angst #jungkook scenarios

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solartranslations · 3 years

Text

AF2 Common 12/28: A Long Night

Even if they’re somewhere new, what doesn’t change is the time they spend at the bar. …It’s the start of a long night

~*Scene: Nordia Bar*~

Pace: So gooood! I’m so glad Nordia has lasagna too

Debito: Ahh, that hits the sport…Nordia has the best drinks

Luca: I can’t believe you two…a client is coming to meet us soon. Be professional

Debito: What for. I thought this was a friend, not a client

Pace: *eating*…Debito’s right! Wouldn’t she actually get mad if we acted that way?

Luca: Maybe, but…

Felicita: Who is it? A friend of yours, Luca?

Luca: Yes. You met her the other day. It’s Agata

Felicita: Agata is…

Debito: Don’t worry, Bambina. She is strict, but she won’t do anything while over a meal

Pace: Huh? She’s scolded me while I was eating before. Agata’s whip sure is painful

Agata: That was because your behavior required discipline. I don’t raise my hand to others without reason

Pace: Uwah!? Agata, when did you get here? Don’t scare us like that

Debito: Our guest of honor is finally here. You’re late

Luca: Sorry for calling you out here when you’re so busy

Agata: I don’t mind. I wanted to talk with you all too

Agata: It’s been so long since we were all together. Debito, Pace, Luca, have you all been well?

Pace: Of course! You still got your whip, Agata?

Luca: Pace, don’t be rude! That’s no way to greet someone

Debito: You could show us if you wanted. It’s been a while after all

Luca: Debito! I said not to be rude!

Agata: Haha, you really haven’t changed. They sure must be a handful for you, Luca

Luca: Yes, dealing with these two certainly is

Pace: Really? I thought Luca was the handful. Right, Ojou?

Felicita: Um…

Debito: Yeah, Bambina’s definitely had it the hardest. You tell her how much of an airhead your attendant is

Luca: Are you trying to say that my head is filled with nothing but air?

Luca: It’s not true. I think a lot about Ojou-sama, but not air…

Pace: Same thing, isn’t it?

Debito: Yeah, it is

Luca: It’s not!

Felicita: You all need to settle down…

Agata: You all are causing trouble for your lady. Pay more attention to those around you

Debito: Wow~, nice one, Agata. You haven’t lost your touch at all

Pace: Your whip sure is quick, Agata. …It’s scary though

Felicita: Um…thank you, Madam Governor

Agata: Agata is fine. No need for titles. I regret that we couldn’t talk more the other day

Agata: So I was excited at the chance to talk to you now. There’s no need to be humble, just act as usual

Felicita: Thank you, Agata

~*Scene: Nordia Bar VIP Room*~

Felicita: [There was a room for special guests in the back of the bar]

Felicita: [We were able to talk freely there]

Agata: So tell me, why did you call me here?

Debito: Well we had to say hi to you since we came out to Nordia after all this time. It’s a courtesy, right?

Agata: You’ve got guts to talk about courtesy. There’s more to it, right?

Luca: Ah, it’s nothing too important…we just wanted to see you, that’s all

Agata: —Let me put it this way then. Are you curious about the contract with Vir that I mentioned the other day?—

Pace: Why are you bringing that up? Didn’t you say you couldn’t talk about it?

Agata: I just thought it’d be a dull and pointless topic to end things on

Agata: Anyway, I have things I wanted to ask you too

Agata: If that girl with Vir really did hurt Sumire, then I can’t stay quiet about it either

Agata: It won’t sit right with me until I hear the whole story

Luca: Agata… you don’t need to worry about Mama

Luca: Though she did suffer some shock and will need to recover with rest

Felicita: We don’t know why Mama got hurt. But…I don’t think Neve is the kind of person who would do that

Agata: Right, Neve. I know of her too

Agata: Sumire is like a little sister to me. I understand why you’d blame Vir, and I have no intention of sticking up for him

Agata: But for Nordia, Vir is—

Agata: Someone we need. The basis of our contract is that Vir lends us his power

Agata: So we can’t lose him, no matter what…

Agata: I’ll say it again. I won’t get in your way. But I can’t help you either

Agata: I’m under that contract. It’s to protect Nordia—

Felicita: If it’s to protect Nordia…. Can we help with that in any way?

Pace: Yeah. If it’s something Vir can do, we might be able to help you instead

Agata: No, it’s…

Luca: You can’t talk about the details of your contract then

Debito: Any more talk is pointless. I have an idea. How about we play a game?

Agata: A game? What kind?

Debito: Chess. We used to play it a lot, right?

Agata: Hmph. Looks like you’re all quite desperate to get information out of me

Debito: As you know, I’m the kind of person who doesn’t do anything without a good reason. And I’d still only do the minimum

Agata: Huh, interesting

Agata: The masquerade is soon. We should have a match for the tournament on its last day

Debito: Then let’s make a deal. The loser will have to do one thing that the winner wants

Pace: Huh!? Should you really promise that? Every time we played against Agata before…

Agata: I’m surprised you’d bet with such high stakes against me…

Agata: Hm… did you forget our games in the past, or are you that confident you’ve improved?

Luca: Debito…are you sure? Do you have a plan?

Debito: No I don’t. It’s just the only way I can think of to get any information

Agata: Having the loser listen to the winner’s request is too obvious. You just want information on Vir, right?

Agata: How about this. The loser will tell the truth about what they’ve been hiding. You’ll be witness, Felicita…

Agata: We’ll use “The Lovers”

Felicita: You want me to use “The Lovers” to see if you’re telling the truth…

Luca: I see. Even if it was a lie, Ojou-sama’s powers will see through it

(*smirk) Debito: I’m fine with that. Let’s get started

—And then—

~*Scene: Nordia Bar VIP Room*~

Pace: Yay! Haha, I won!

Felicita: Amazing, Pace! Even Debito and I couldn’t win…

Luca: It must have been his animal instincts

Agata: I truly didn’t think I would lose. I underestimated you

Debito: Since we won, we’ll be asking the questions then. Pace, what have you got?

Pace: I’ve been curious about something ever since we started playing

Felicita: Curious…?

Pace: Yeah. We never told you about Ojou’s powers, right Agata? So how did you know that she can use “The Lovers”?

Felicita: Right

Luca: Can you tell us, Agata?

Agata: That’s simple. I heard about them from Vir. That’s all

Luca: It was from him? But we never told Vir about her powers

Felicita: Yeah, I don’t remember saying anything

Agata: You didn’t have to. He knows everything about the Tarocco…

Pace: Huh? Is Vir really that smart?

Debito: That’s not what you should be impressed about

Agata: He knows about the Tarocco you all host too

Luca: …Just how much does he know?

Felicita: Who exactly is Vir?

Agata: Vir has formed a contract with “Agata” to protect Nordia for generations

Debito: Protect it from what?

Agata: A great storm that occurs once every 100 years, “Acqua Tempesta”— (TN: storm water)

Agata: It causes much greater disasters than when a normal acqua alta raises water levels (TN: when high tides cause flooding in Venice etc.)

Agata: And Vir protects Nordia from that threat…as is our contract

Pace: But that doesn’t make sense. Vir still looks so young…

Debito: Don’t be dumb, Pace. She said it was for generations

Debito: She just means he inherited the name “Vir” like she did with “Agata”

Luca: He’s right. Even if we don’t know how old he is, a person can’t live for hundreds of years

Luca: Probably, I think…

Agata: …Yes. You’re right

Debito: So the contract you made with Vir was that he’d protect the city from the Acqua Tempesta…now it all makes sense

Felicita: So that’s why Agata says she can’t help us

Agata: I had no choice but to keep it a secret. But it’s just as you say

Agata: The next Acqua Tempesta is in January…when the New Year comes, the whole town will be washed away. We can’t stop it on our own

Agata: I will protect Nordia no matter what. It’s my reason for being “Agata”—

Felicita: Your reason for being “Agata”…?

Agata: If we survive this Acqua Tempesta, the next one will be in a hundred years

Agata: In that amount of time, I can persuade my people to move elsewhere to safety

Agata: And if technology advances enough so that we don’t have to, all the better

Agata: Time brings change and progress. But, time makes people forget as well

Agata: I wasn’t able to get my people to believe me in time

Agata: The burden I carry from my ancestors is heavy—

Felicita: Agata…

Agata: People are like pawns in God’s game

Agata: And right now, I’m a failure at carrying out my duty as a pawn

Debito: Saying that’s not like you

Pace: Yeah, it’s like you’ve gotten old, Agata

Agata: Idiot, just say I’ve matured. I’m only old enough to be your sister

Luca: You’re older than Mama though

Agata: …I thought you were a genius when you were younger, but now I know you’re just normal. Well, maybe not. I see you have a one-track mind with your Ojou-sama

Luca: Um, why am I the only one you’re saying that to?

Pace: Why don’t you like hearing that? Being obsessed with Ojou is something to be proud of!

Felicita: Pace, I don’t think she means it in a good way…

Luca: It definitely isn’t praise!

Felicita: [Agata shoulders the responsibility of Nordia and its people. No matter how hard it is, she doesn’t give up and tries to find a way]

Felicita: [Agata is strong…that’s clear to me. I want to protect Regalo too, so I send my thoughts out to its people…]

Agata: Isn’t there anyone besides Pace who can challenge me?

Luca: You’re just too strong, Agata. Strategy games like this are your forte

Agata: You’re not wrong. I couldn’t be governor if I wasn’t

Felicita: Agata…I want to play another round with you

Agata: We’ve already seen the outcome, so no. Maybe another time

Felicita: …Please?

Agata: *sigh*… Children are so tiring. If you were my son, I’d have brought out my whip

Pace: You did that to us too before

Debito: Yeah. No mercy at all

Luca: Then, how about you play against me next? Is that alright?

Agata: Yes, let’s give it a go

~*Scene: Nordia Bar VIP Room*~

Luca: It’s been so long since I’ve played chess with you, Agata

Agata: Yes, it has. And just like before, only Pace would be able to win out of the three of you

Luca: I think I’ll be joining him this time. I will win

Agata: I can’t believe you can say that while looking at the board now. Your king and queen are cornered

Luca: This is where I turn things around

Agata: Haha, very interesting

Felicita: Luca’s good at chess?

Pace: Hmm, he could get pretty far but…

Debito: Yeah, but he could never finish it. Neither of us have ever won against Agata

Luca: If I take this pawn next…

Agata: That won’t work, unfortunately

Luca: Wha?

Agata: Checkmate

Debito: Oh well. Luca lost

Luca: Another loss… You certainly are strong

Agata: Those who think too hard about their actions won’t win against me. But people who act on instinct are harder to read

Agata: I’ve won this time…but you were the ones to ask questions during the last round

Agata: I know. I’ll give you an opportunity

Pace: What opportunity?

Agata: You can do it when I’m not around, but answer one of Debito’s questions

Luca: We’ll answer Debito’s questions…?

Debito: Huh? What’s that about? I didn’t ask for you to give me your prize

Agata: Luca, you are a very stubborn man. You try to maintain balance even while fooling yourself. It’ll be easier if you break that just once

Luca: ……

Pace/Debito: ……

Agata: I will take my leave then. You all can do as you wish

Felicita: I should probably go too…

Debito: …Yeah, let’s go. I’ve got nothing to ask anyway

~*Scene: Nordia Street*~

Pace: Wow, it’s totally dark out. All the shops are closed too

Debito: It’s not that late. And isn’t this when grown-ups really start having fun?

Luca: Only for you. And if that causes you to stay in bed until noon, I think you need to reevaluate your priorities

Debito: It’s not your problem

Luca: It is. The Coins are always…

Felicita: !?

Luca: That person getting off the gondola is…

Pace: It’s definitely Vir

Debito: Perfect. We’ve got business with him after all

~*Scene: Nordia Waterway*~

Vir: Hm?

Luca: Haaah!

Vir: *laugh*…

Luca: He knocked away my attack!?

Vir: It looks like alchemy hasn’t advanced one bit

Vir: It’s the same as it was 400 years ago. No, it’s actually gotten weaker

Luca: …!

Debito: I guess Agata meant what she said literally

Pace: You mean when she said she’s known him for 400 years?

Vir: You really thought such a small flame could capture me?

(*click) Debito: Nope. These are the real goods

Vir: That’s quite the greeting. Hm? Your right eye…

>Debito Route

>Pace/Luca Routes

Vir: What a nice gem. It should last you the rest of your life. Perhaps I should sell some in my store

Vir: But, that amethyst won’t last much longer. Do you have a replacement ready?

Luca: Why would you know…we don’t need your concern. I have a replacement

Debito: Tch, you really do know everything…

Vir: That gem was made with alchemy. Is it your creation?

Luca: …

Vir: You’re even better than your teacher. You couldn’t have made that if you hadn’t watched him for so long

Vir: I’d love a gifted student too. Will you join me?

Luca: I humbly decline

(Luca: Because I have Ojou-sama) (This line is Luca route only)

Vir: Unfortunate. But, it seems those two do need you too. Now then

(*shing) Felicita: You aren’t getting away

Debito: We came all the way from Regalo to capture you

Pace: Yeah. Finding you here makes things a lot faster

Vir: Didn’t Agata tell you? You can’t touch me yet. This is Agata’s city. You aren’t the law here

Vir: And I’m not someone you can catch that easily

Vir: Haaa!

Dodge!

>Hit

(+10 Amore)

>Miss

(-20 Amore)

(*dodge) Felicita: Hah!

Felicita: Ah…

Luca: Ojou-sama! Watch out!

Luca: … L’Armonia della Luce!

Vir: Haha, you can run if you like. I’m not in the mood to fight you today

Felicita: Well I am!

Vir: Stubborn aren’t you…fine then

Debito: You’re fighting me too. So don’t turn your back!

Felicita: Debito! I’ll cover you!

(*whish) Felicita: Yah!

Attack!

>Hit

(No Amore)

>Miss

(-20 Amore)

Vir: Guh…

Vir: That’s all you’ve got?

Vir: You have to mean it if you’re going to attack me. And you won’t catch me anyway

Pace: If you’re just going to run away, doesn’t that mean you’re actually weak?

Vir: I’m running for your sake. If you hit me with your powers, punishment will befall you

Felicita: Punishment…

Debito: You’re not going to trick us with a joke like that

Vir: Is it really a joke?

Pace: If you won’t attack, then I will!

Pace: Hyaaah!

Vir: Hah, that won’t hit me…

Debito: Didn’t I tell you already? You’re not just fighting one of us!

Debito: Hahaha!

Vir: Those bullets won’t work on me. I’ll just erase them

Felicita: No you won’t!

(*whish) Felicita: Haaah!

Attack!

>Hit

(+10 Amore)

>Miss

(-20 Amore)

Vir: Guh…Right. You’re here too

Vir: Where are you aiming?

Vir: …So tiring. This is all the time I have for you today

Vir: Haaah!

Luca: All of you, get away from Vir!

Luca: I’ll block his attack, so get behind me!

Felicita: Right…!

Luca: Guh…

Vir: See you tomorrow then

Felicita: Luca! Are you alright?

Luca: *panting*…Yes. I’m sorry. It’s been a while since I’ve fought that hard…

Debito: I am interested in one thing he said

Luca: ……

Debito: He said “You couldn’t have made that if you hadn’t watched him for so long”

Felicita: …

Debito: If this hadn’t happened, I never would have asked…

Debito: Back then…who’s side were you on?

Pace: Debito…

Luca: I…

Debito: Honestly, I don’t care what the truth is though

Pace: It feels late bringing this up now, but I’ve been hiding things too

~*Flashback: Back Alley*~

Pace: Um, because of a special trait of my Tarocco, I––

Pace: I can only live until age 30

~*End Flashback*~

Pace: I guess Debito’s been the most honest out of us

Debito: Shut up, Pace

Pace: I guess the best thing is for Luca-chan to come clean and for us to give him one good hit for hiding it?

>Luca, I want to know too…

>I think you should tell Debito and Pace

Luca: Ojou-sama…

Luca: Right. I never was good at keeping secrets

Luca: And I didn’t plan on hiding it this long either

Luca: It might make things easier if I just told the truth…

Luca: I don’t know if hearing this will help them

Luca: But I think it will be better for me

Luca: It hurts to keep this a secret. …I just want to tell you

Luca: This is the opportunity that Agata gave us

Luca: I’ll tell you…about the secret I’ve been keeping

Luca: Back then, I had a lot of feelings that I had a hard time putting into words

~*Flashback: Bedroom*~

Debito: Uw, ahhhhh!

Pace: Debito!? Where are you?

Luca: I can’t see him…but I can hear him. Are these Debito’s Arcana powers…?

Debito: *panting*…

Pace: Ah! There’s blood near the bed… Debito, are you there?

Debito: Uaa, Pace…

Luca: If I could see you, I could neutralize your powers with mine, but I can’t touch you like this

Pace: Ah! I see him! Debito, can you hear me? Debito?

Debito: ……

Luca: He’s not conscious. And his right eye is bleeding…he hit himself on that pillar…

Luca: Hurry, Pace! At this rate, Debito will…

Pace: But where should we…

Luca: We’ll take him to Jolly

~*Flashback: Alchemy Room*~

Pace: Jolly! You have to help Debito!

Debito: Guh…ahh…

Jolly: …What happened

Luca: Debito’s powers are out of control. He struck his eye against a pillar…

Luca: He settled down after losing consciousness, but he hasn’t woken up yet

Jolly: His powers…

Pace: Jolly, what’s going to happen to Debito?

Jolly: He’ll die if we don’t do anything. He must not have the emotional strength to handle his powers

Luca: …No way

Pace: I don’t want Debito to die! Since you experiment all the time, can’t you save him!

Jolly: …I have an idea. But I can’t guarantee that it will work

Jolly: Do you still want to save Debito?

Pace: Of course we do!

Luca: Yes…

Jolly: Good. I’ll get started

Jolly: We’ll put this gem in Debito’s right eye. It will amplify his emotional strength to make up for what he lacks

Luca: An amethyst…

Pace: You’ll stick that in him!?

Jolly: He won’t be able to use his eye anymore either way. This is better than dying

Debito: Ahhhhhh….!!!

Jolly: This should last for a while

Pace: Thank you, Jolly

Luca: Thank you

Luca: Jolly…

Jolly: Pace already left. Was there something else, Luca?

Luca: I know you saved Debito…but will he really be alright like this…

Jolly: Hmph, I don’t plan on leaving this be. You’ll be paying me back for saving him

Jolly: …How about this. From now on, you’ll have no contact with Debito or Pace

Luca: Wha…

Jolly: Or you’ll help me with my experiments again. It’s an equivalent exchange. You’ll pay me back one of those two ways. The choice is up to you

Luca: …I…

~*Flashback: Bedroom*~

Pace: Don’t worry us like that, Debito. I told you not to push yourself

Debito: Yeah, but I had to. I’m not good at staying put

Luca: Calm down, you two. Debito’s awake, and that’s all that matters

Luca: I’ll be going now. I’m doing a little favor for someone

~*Flashback: Alchemy Room*~

(*knock knock)

Luca: It’s me

Jolly: Come in…

~*End Flashback*~

Luca: My…heart was always with you two, but I was acting on Jolly’s orders

Luca: I stayed to protect you. But, it’s true that I was still observing you as directed by Jolly too

Luca: I wanted to protect you, but still felt guilty. I thought protecting you was my duty

Luca: And it’s why I feel so conflicted into inaction now

Luca: And then, Ojou-sama’s powers went out of control

Felicita: …!

Luca: I was ordered to live with Ojou-sama, and went to that small house with her and Sumire-sama

Luca: I had a peaceful life there. And that’s when I realized that I was making up for what I did to you two…

Luca: It’s because of Ojou-sama that I found the strength to accept myself

Luca: It’s thanks to Ojou-sama…that I realized what I should protect

Luca: I’m the weakest one out of us. I just couldn’t live on if I lost even a single one of you

Felicita: Luca…

Luca: ……Is that all you wanted to know?

Felicita: Luca…!

Luca: Wah! O-Ojou-sama…

Debito: You shouldn’t be crying at your age

Pace: Yeah. You’ve hit a milestone so you really should grow up

Felicita: Luca, how could you keep smiling before now?

Luca: Because…you all…were with me

Debito: Oh get a grip! Pace, let’s throw Luca in the canal!

Pace: Okay! Heave-ho!

Luca: *bubble bubble*…

Felicita: Luca, are you okay!?

(*splash) Luca: *cough*…

Debito: Yeah, he wouldn’t drown

Pace: Yup. That’s his punishment from us instead of getting hit

Debito: Yeah I figured

Luca: You weren’t going to let me get washed away, right!?

Debito: Okay, let’s head back

Pace: Oh wow Luca, you look just like Dante. Let’s go, Ojou

Felicita: O-okay…

Luca: Can you at least pull me out of here!!!

~*End of Scene*~

(Continue to Common Route December 31 (Pace Route)) Coming Soon!

(Continue to Debito Chapter 4)

(Continue to Luca Chapter 5)

(Back to Directory)

#common route #arcana famiglia #arcana famiglia 2 #december 28 #solar translations #psp game #translation #releases #just when you thought jolly didn't actually do it for evil reasons #but then trolololol #and omg that ending #poor luca TwT

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sandraharissa · 4 years

Text

Alastor’s motivation

The only suggestion of what Alastor’s true motivations might be that I’ve ever seen brought up is that he wants to become the king,,, and you can probably already tell that I’m about to disagree with this.

Imo the problem with this conclusion is that it’s too far-fetched. It’s only based on the idea that he wants power and the king has the most power so he must be aiming for that. The problem with that is that currently it’s completely out of his reach. It’s the typical ‘character is so smart I’m sure he’s got it planned 2000 steps in advance’ despite the fact that he’s in no position to think this is something that’s achievable for him.

This idea is only not overcomplicated in terms of Alastor’s plan if he’s aiming for marrying Charlie, then it’s pretty straightforward but also something that is purely wishful thinking on the part of the shippers and something I’m 100% certain will never happen but I won’t get into it here.

In the pilot there’s a lot of talk from Alastor about being bored and needing entertainment. My initial impression was that it was all just a bunch of (really weak) excuses. Because whatever sinister plan he has, he obviously can’t reveal it to Charlie, so he needs to lie to her about why he wants to get involved and saying something like ‘I’m in a mood/I don’t need any reason I’m just chaotic like that’ is one of the easiest things he could have done.

But then I found “Alastor’s Game” by The Living Tombstone. Alastor sings a song that’s a description of your typical deal with the devil, the only part that stands out is the ‘entertainment’ element to Alastor’s deals. I don’t think this is standard, the devil is usually portrayed to be very menacing and taking the deal seriously.

Pleasure to play, how I enjoyed you

It was such a gas, I really am amused

You were lovely entertainment

In this song there’s also a lot of talk about help that Alastor provides, more so than is typically provided by the devil, who usually just tries to trick someone and gives nothing in return, but here Alastor even offers to provide any help needed during tough times.

I’m your first last resort so call me when you need a helping hand

I'll help you feed them

A casual whisper just to guide you

It’s also way more personal and pleasant, with Alastor waiting for you, and he’s your sweet radio demon, even tho the devil usually doesn’t care about becoming friends with their victims or even about keeping up appearances.

Waiting and primed until I could find you

Just sign on a line and we can be friends I'll be here for you until your world ends Enjoy all your toys, I will supply

You can bet that you're deserving

Why, it's almost like you're flirting

Sorry, I don't mean to alarm you If you ask me to stay, I would be charmed to

I'll be your sweet radio demon

Now you're at the final episode, eternity with me in hell

So what this conveys to me is that Alastor was honest about everything he said in the pilot, it is indeed about entertainment for him, cos what he finds entertaining is indeed human drama “reality, true passion”, playing games and making deals with ppl. I guess the only thing is he lied by omission.

Omitting the fact that he intends on making deals with the patrons of the happy hotel. That’s why he’s there, because it’s the perfect place for him. Only the most desperate in the whole of hell would go to such a place like Charlie’s hotel, so it’s the perfect hunting ground for him. He won’t need to wait or search ppl out, the ones most susceptible to him will be themselves coming to him, all he needed was to be given access to those patrons. And bringing in Husk and Niffty is a genius move on his part, where the patrons will be directly exposed to two ppl who owe Alastor, but because it’s likely Alastor brought in the specific two ppl that he’s on good terms with and because they are shown to be treated fairly and generously by him, that would make it more convincing to the patrons to also make deals with Alastor. And the making of more deals will result in him rapidly gaining power but via a plan that’s doable by him.

And him saying he wants to help Charlie while also believing her plan will never work doesn’t seem like such a contradictory behavior anymore. He doesn’t think it’s possible to redeem a demon but the fact that Charlie believes it doesn’t get in the way of his plans. It would actually help for the already desperate ppl who got their hopes up for something Alastor takes for granted will only lead to their failure to look for other alternative solutions to their problems and make them more susceptible to Alastor’s manipulation.

I want to watch the scum of the world struggle to climb up the hill of betterment, only to repeatedly trip and tumble down to the fiery pit of failure.

Also this is essentially exactly what he’s doing to Charlie, the whole helping her, being charming to her, just without the handshake but everything that followed fits with Alastor’s usual routine. Maybe the princess owing you a favor would be a nice cherry on top of a cake but in that moment most importantly he needed her to agree to giving him access to the hotel (note how Charlie herself was somewhat desperate and hopeless in that moment, Alastor saw it and sought her out, but she was clearly not desperate enough to make a sketchy deal, yet).

It also makes sense with my personal assumptions. Thinking that Alastor has complicated plans and that the hotel is just a small part of it would make me think that that would relatively soon call for the falling apart of the found family. Because Alastor doesn’t care about the cohesiveness of the family, he only needs it around for as long as it furthers his goals, which wouldn’t last long if his end goal is to try to go from hotel employee to king. However that wouldn’t be what I’d expect from a story that is named after the hotel (home of the found family). But if his end goal is the hotel itself, then that aligns better with how I’d expect the story to go. That even tho Alastor isn’t really sentimental toward the family now, that he’d still from the very beginning care about keeping the family together for as long as possible and protect it, to keep everyone on good terms for as long as possible and to keep his secrets from Charlie for as long as possible, because he can only continue benefitting from this arrangement as long as it lasts.

That also fits perfectly with how I’d expect the conflict between Alastor and Charlie to go. Because of the set-up in the pilot with Alastor as part of the family I’d expect that he’s gonna be given a redemption arc. A lot of ppl are worried that he’d directly hurt Charlie but this doesn’t sit right with me, I think he’s gonna directly hurt the patrons, which won’t be directly abusive toward Charlie herself but it’d still hurt her and violate her trust.

So Alastor’s there to make deals. This isn’t a crazy revelation and really it’s something that maybe should have been obvious either way, but I’m glad I managed to make an argument for why this might be the case instead of ‘duh, obviously he’s there to make deals’.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel thoughts #hazbin hotel theory #my:hazbin hotel #mine

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selfhelpskillss · 3 years

Text

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No woman likes a man who is slow and has boring gestures. If you’re like that, we’re sure you’ve lost points in her eyes.

Obsession method Kate Spring will teach some unique body language. And of course, they all have the effect of attracting the woman you choose.

Unlike men, women understand body language very well. And they react to these messages faster than any of your words or actions.

Because for them, the body massage is the subtlety that a man needs to have. So if you know and do it, it will initially successfully attract her.

Story mode

Girls are not easy to talk to, especially some women who don’t speak to strange men. Unless she thinks you and her have some sort of relationship.

In front of such girls, a lot of men give up halfway. But this time of giving up may make you regret for the rest of your life losing your daughter.

Coming to the obsession method, Kate will teach you some unique talking techniques. You can use this method to start a conversation with any girl.

Of course, it’s easy to get the favorable results you want with Kate’s technique. I’m sure she will yearn and have a deep desire for your love.

Unstoppable pickup

Unstoppable Pickup is one of the techniques Kate teaches in the obsession method course. This way helps you attract girls even if you appear with old pickup trucks. Apply it, and I’m sure you will never fail.

A guy who says nonsense at the first meeting is not going to make a difference. And she may never want to talk to you again. But if you use Kate’s Unstoppable Pickup technique, any girl will like to learn more about you.

Desire protocol

In fact, some women only date for gain, even ‘seduce‘ him to “take advantage“. This is the main reason why men fail in relationships with them and feel more distant.

But what if you can conquer and make her fall in love with you? Do you think this only happens in movies?

Not so, with Kate’s Desire Protocol method, you’ll be surprised at the results. Following the Desire Protocol, you can make a woman yearn for love like never before.

Marriage man

Marriage man style

In the eyes of women, material things always have an important meaning. Because material things in marriage are always a necessary factor to ensure a longer-lasting relationship.

In case you show off the weird style, you can lose her. But using the Mariage Man method, you will understand what your woman wants. From there, you can become the man she just wants to marry.

Turn her on

Many men don’t know how to seduce a woman to fall in love with you completely. No need to worry anymore, the obsession method Kate Spring will teach you to ‘seduce‘ a woman to fall in love with you.

This technique will change everything as it will stimulate her to take the initiative in this relationship.

Text seduction

In today’s social time, chatting and flirting sentences are no longer strange. But how does texting get that girl interested?

Some men have bad texting errors and are very bland. Maybe it’s because they don’t know how to write a message, or they’re lazy.

Whatever the reason, women don’t like that type of man. So, in the obsession method, Kate will share three unique messages. Based on this, you can apply when texting and make an instant impression on the girl.

SUBLIMINAL 3’s

Subliminal 3’s technique includes 3 methods. The effect of this technique is to help you make the woman crazy about you.

She will ‘love’ you from your looks to everything related to you. Even the obsession method technique can make her want to sleep with you right away.

Who can use the obsession method?

As long as you want to conquer your woman, you can use the obsession method. It doesn’t matter if you are a thin or fat man, white or black.

The method works even if the girl has not seen you before, or she is not interested or is out of your reach.

This is a strength of the obsessive method. The program is suitable for every man globally, no matter what he does or where he is. As long as you love and desire the other person, you can completely apply the method to make her want you.

Is this method safe?

Science has proven that this method works very well and works in all cases. The obsession method has been tested on real issues before selling to the market. So you can completely trust the effectiveness and safety of the technique.

The program will teach you what you never knew about women. That helps you understand and learn about their needs.

In school, the booking and the education system only teach you slight gender differences. No one tells you how a girl’s mentality is and how to meet a woman’s heart.

We can vouch for the safety of the method. Trust it because thousands of men have applied and succeeded.

Moreover, the language in the book is very easy to understand. So you can easily deploy exactly what’s inside.

Benefits of using the method

Here are the benefits of the obsession method:

Win the heart of any woman you like

Make the woman you want to desire and desire you

Make her more active in the relationship and want to sleep with you right away.

Make her sincere in love with you

Help you become the ideal man

Make her miss you anytime

The Obsession Method Review: Pros and Cons

To wrap up the obsession method review, we’ll go over the advantages and disadvantages of the method. To help you have a better overview of the technique.

Advantages

The outstanding advantage of the method is its ability to make a woman want to fall in love with a man. With the techniques learned from the obsession method, you can easily meet a woman’s heart. It will help you to conquer the girl you never dreamed of before.

In addition, everything in the program uses smart digital. So you can use electronic devices to store information easily.

And you won’t have to worry about forgetting the techniques at the crucial moment. At the same time, thanks to that, you can learn and enrich your knowledge anytime and anywhere.

Besides, the obsession method guarantees a 60-day money-back guarantee if you fail to apply. This is like a mortgage that ensures you won’t fail. If you are interested in this course, buy it here to get the best deals.

Disadvantage

Honestly, we didn’t find any downsides to the method. But for a man like me, I’m too lazy to read or watch anything. Therefore, I would like the program to be produced in audio file format.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the cost?

The cost to own the obsession method is $69.65. This is not a very large number. For just $69.95, you will make yourself more attractive to the woman you desire.

For $39.95, the desk also includes a video course that will change your life forever. Not only that, but the system also offers free e-books.

In which, there are 3 titles, including “How to Make Her Approach you,” “sex texts,” and “Sexual Wordsmith.” All of these books are products that go with the course.

The Obsession Method Review: Is this a scam?

We confirm this is not a scam. As mentioned, the method has been tested in real cases and has been successful. So if you are a man who is having trouble finding a relationship, you should buy this product.

Conclusion on The Obsession Method review article

Above is the obsession method review that we want to share with you. Indeed the obsession method is a comprehensive guide on how to text and how to express yourself through body language. The program offers solutions to help you conquer the woman you love.

In short, with the obsession method, you almost don’t have to try too hard and still make an impression in her eyes. Because basically, this method is to help her love you more. So use it and experience big changes in men’s lives.

Credit by: https://selfhelpskills.net/the-obsession-method-review/

#selfhelpskills selfhelpmarriage selfhelpbook selfhelpbooks selfhelpdating

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miatheaqua · 3 years

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Overcoming anxiety by learning how to love yourself

Rob Liu

Oct 25, 2019

Tell me if this sounds familiar?

You get social anxiety when you’re around certain people. That anxiety cripples you and you start wondering why you’re so anxious. Now you’re becoming anxious about being anxious. Oh no! Doubly anxious! Now you’re anxious about your social anxiety, which is causing more anxiety. Quick, where’s the whiskey?

Or you’re so worried about doing the right thing all the time that you become worried about how much you’re worrying. Or you feel so guilty for every mistake you make that you begin to feel guilty about how guilty you’re feeling. Or you get sad and alone so often that it makes you feel even more sad and alone just thinking about it – Adapted from Mark Manson

I call this the “thought loop of despair”

I get trapped in the thought loop of despair often.

So I am at this party with the confident crowd. I look around and all I see are smiling faces chatting to each other.

Why does everyone look like they’re having so much fun?

I’m just not feeling it. It’s been a long day at work and my mind is fried. There’s a pit in my stomach. I’m looking around trying to find my confidence. But the more I look the deeper the pit gets.

I force myself to sound confident. I go up and say hello to a few people. My voice starts out strong, but then it starts to waver. Everything I say sounds like a question. Hi? How are you? I’m good? Great party?…

I see this cute girl, and decide stuff it, I’ll go talk to her

Before I finish my sentence Cute Girl turns away to talk to Hot Friend. Hot girl conversation is a special language that is incomprehensible to computer geeks such as myself.

I hear something about Japan.

Me: Oh I just got back from Japan, it was epic.

“Oh awesome” Cute Girl replies, before immediately turning back to Hot Friend.”So anyway blah blah blah xoxoxo blah blah blah.”

I nod along stupidly for a few minutes and then leave. I don’t say goodbye to anyone. I don’t want to be seen. I am a ghost. I shall go home and hang my head in shame.

Beating myself up

After the party I go home and this is when I feel the worst. I start beating myself up. Cue thought loop of despair.

Nobody abuses us more than we abuse ourselves. We pay for our mistakes thousands of times. We make a mistake, we punish ourselves. And you’d think that would be enough, but every time we remember, we punish ourselves again, and again. – Adapted from Don Miguel Ruiz

The anxiety I feel at the party isn’t even that bad. What is 10 times worse is me beating myself up after.

So why am I beating myself up? How do I stop?

My unrealistic self image.

I’ve created this self image that I need to be a confident, charismatic guy all the time, and that if I don’t act confident, no one will like me. No one likes weak people.

The slight problem with this is that no one is confident all the time. And when I inevitably fail to live up to my own expectations, it causes me to question the foundations of my identity. Am I really a cool guy? or am I some loser who doesn’t know how to socialize? I hate weak people, and I hate myself when I am weak. I am only worthy of love when I meet my own standards.

So why did I feel like I need to act confident all the time?

This was ingrained in me from when I was a kid.

My family immigrated to Australia when I was five. I couldn’t speak a word of English. The other kids in school teased me. I learned from an early age that I needed to be confident and defend myself.

Also my parents were very critical.

Father would tell me:

You are selfish.

You are lazy.

Why are you so stupid?

And that I needed to study harder, speak confidently and above all: respect your father.

Father didn’t believe in praise. “If you’re already doing something well, there’s no need to point it out. I am here to point out all the things you are doing wrong, so you can improve”.

I grew up in a Chinese household with strong Confucian values. Confucius says you should criticize yourself in order to keep yourself in line – focusing on meeting the needs of others, instead of your own.

Because of all this criticism I learned from a young age that I am so bad and flawed that I have no right to be accepted for who I am. Only by being smart, considerate, and confident will I be loved.

But things are too complicated for us to be able to fully control either our external circumstances or our internal responses to them. Given that perfection is impossible, I come to expect that rejection is inevitable. – adapted from Kristen Neff

I slowly realize:

What if I don’t need to do anything in order to be loved?

What if:

We are perfect just the way we are

Zen master Seng-tsan taught that “true freedom is being without anxiety about imperfection.”

I gradually begin to accept that: sometimes I act awkward, other times I’m confident. There’s parts of my personality that I like, parts that I don’t like. But, at the end of the day I’m human, a unique individual. And I am learning to love and accept all parts of myself.

At this present moment: I feel a little anxious, a little depressed.

But hey I am still alive. Isn’t that wondrous?

How is it that I can see, hear and feel?

How is it that I’m conscious?

What magic runs this universe?

It may be luck? fate? god’s will?

Somehow the universe has aligned to gift me this experience of life.

What a miracle that is.

All the shit that goes on in my life is petty compared to the fact that:

I am alive

There is a life force that runs through all living things. Some people call it god. It is the creator, the enabler of life. It runs through all of us. God runs through us. We are life. We are god. We don’t need to do anything or achieve anything. We are already perfect. We are already worthy of love. Because love is the very essence of the life that runs through us. We are love.

Philosopher Alan Watts talks about how:

You are an aperture through which the universe is looking at and exploring itself

How is it possible that a being with such sensitive jewels as the eyes, such enchanted musical instruments as the ears, and such fabulous arabesque of nerves as the brain can experience itself anything less than a god?

Jesus Christ knew he was God. So wake up and find out who you really are. In our culture they’ll say you’re crazy and you’re blasphemous, and they’ll either put you in jail or in a nut house. However, if you wake up in India and tell your friends and relatives, ‘My goodness, I’ve just discovered that I’m God,’ they’ll laugh and say, ‘Oh, congratulations, at last you found out.’

Alan Watts describes how: we are God, we are already perfect. There’s no need to “achieve something beyond ourselves.”

The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.

We over analyze things and judge ourselves too harshly. This does not help us.

We really should stop judging ourselves since:

Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.

Embracing imperfection

Psychologist Dr Kristen Neff talks about how:

There isn’t anything wrong with the imperfection of life as long as we don’t expect it to be other than it is.

Our successes and failures come and go – they neither define us, nor do they determine our worthiness.

Happiness is not dependent on circumstances being exactly as we want them to be, or on ourselves being exactly as we’d like to be. Rather, happiness stems from loving ourselves and our lives exactly as they are, knowing that joy and pain, strength and weakness, glory and failure are all essential to the full human experience.”

Carl Jung once wrote: “Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.”

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. -Carl Rogers, On Becoming a Person

Back to the party

A few months later, I got invited to another party by the same crowd. Part of me didn’t feel like going. But part of me doesn’t want to shy away from things that scare me. I like facing challenges, so I go.

As I’m driving over, the same feelings of nervousness and anxiety begin to fill my body. My lips are dry and my throat is stuck.

But unlike last time, I don’t feel like I need to act confident. I just let myself feel nervous. I’m not trying to impress anyone.

I get to the party. Everyone’s already chatting and no one notices me.

This time though, I don’t push myself to talk to people. I’m content being a ghost, moving through the crowd.

There’s that familiar sinking feeling in my stomach.

Staying present to the physical sensations of our emotions

I focus my attention on how my feelings feel and where they are in my body. I allow myself to experience my nervousness fully.

I notice how the heaviness in my belly rises and lifts with my breath. I notice the tightness in my throat extending to my eyes, surrounding them with tension like a clenched fist. I stay with the feeling around my eyes. They feel a little tired, heavy.

And then I realize that:

“Anxiety” doesn’t exist

It is just a word that humans make up. All that exists are physical sensations. Humans make up all the meaning in the world.

If we stop labeling emotions as positive or negative and just feel the physical sensations, we’d realize that they are not so bad after all. I don’t know about you, but “there’s some tightness in my throat” sounds a lot better than “I’m having a panic attack!”

Tara Brach talks about how:

Suffering = Pain*Resistance

The pain I’m feeling isn’t that bad, it’s just some tightness, and a sinking feeling. What’s causing me to suffer is the resistance that my mind puts up.

It’s not just the physicality of pain, it’s what our mind does with it. -Tara Brach.

Pain is like a gaseous substance. If you allow it to just be there, freely, it will eventually dissipate on its own. If you fight and resist the pain, however, walling it into a confined space, the pressure will grow and grow until there is an explosion. -Kristin Neff.

One is a great deal less anxious if one feels perfectly free to be anxious, and the same may be said of guilt. -Alan Watts.

So I am standing in the corner of the party awkwardly smiling. I try to get comfortable with my social anxiety. I stop resisting.

“It’s ok to be nervous,” I tell myself.

Self compassion mantra

I repeat to myself a mantra that Kristen Neff uses:

This is a moment of suffering.

Suffering is part of life.

May I be kind to myself in this moment.

May I give myself the compassion I need.

Dr Neff explains:

Self-kindness involves more than stopping the constant self-judgement. It involves actively comforting ourselves.

It means we stop to say:

“This is really difficult right now. How can I care for and comfort myself in this moment?”

No matter how difficult things get, we can always wrap our torn and tattered selves in our own soft embrace. We can soothe our own pain.

We don’t need others to give us the care we crave. Because at the end of the day, who is the only person in your life who knows exactly how you feel? Knows your fears? Knows what you need most? And is available 24/7 to provide you with kindness? You.

I wrap my arms around my chest and embrace myself.

It’s ok to be nervous

Everyone gets nervous at times

No one is judging, and if they are, their opinion doesn’t matter

We are not in control of our emotions

I realize 4 that I can’t stop myself from feeling nervous. If I was in control of my emotions, then I would have already gotten rid of the neurotic, anxious and dark aspects of my personality and become a happy, cool jesus.

Clearly I am not in control, so there’s no need to judge myself so harshly.

Dr Jonathan Haidt describes us as a rider on the back of an elephant. The rider is our rational self; the elephant our emotional self.

Sitting on top of the Elephant, it seems like the Rider is the leader. But the Rider is in control only when the Elephant doesn’t have desires of its own.

The Elephant is way bigger than the Rider. So anytime the Elephant and the Rider disagree about which direction to go, the Rider is going to lose.

Here’s another analogy that explains how we’re not in full control of our minds:

Our subconscious mind is like a raging river with powerful currents. Our conscious mind is merely a little kayak on this river.

We can paddle hard against the current, but eventually we will end up getting swept to wherever the emotional currents take us.

I can try really hard to act confident. Fake it until I make it. But no matter how hard I try, underneath it all I’m still nervous, and people can sense that I am faking it. Eventually I will burn out and act all nervous again.

Accept our emotions

We can’t fight the current, so why try? just relax and go with it.

When we stop fighting the current and accept our emotions, we can learn to steer and ride the waves.

Trust yourself

Alan Watts describes how we need to trust our subconscious mind, and accept our emotions. If we don’t trust ourselves we’ll be paralyzed:

To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don’t grab hold of the water, because if you do you will sink and drown. Instead you relax, and float.

If you cannot trust yourself, you cannot even trust your mistrust of yourself – so that without this underlying trust in the whole system of nature you are simply paralyzed.

Taking action

So I’ve been standing in the corner of the party fidgeting with a paper cup for 30 minutes now. I come to accept my social anxiety and I realize something:

I can take action despite feeling nervous. I don’t need to feel confident in order to socialize. Confidence is overrated.

I go up to the closest guy:

My voice cracks and sounds squeaky. But I stop giving a damn.

Anxiety accepted. Nobody cares.

George responds warmly and we chat for a while.

Be genuinely interested in other people

I try to really listen to George as he speaks. I focus on being interested in him, instead of what he thinks of me. What’s George like? What’s his life story?

Hey I didn’t feel so nervous. I was too busy being interested in George.

I think people can sense it when we’re genuinely interested in them. It comes through in our vibe.

And being interested people is attractive. It is a lot more attractive than trying to act confident in order to impress people. Because it’s real.

Taking it easy

I continue going around the party talking to people.

I am learning to be gentle with myself. I set very low expectations. No need to be confident or have amazing conversations.

When I say hi to people, it doesn’t matter if they respond or not. If I say hi, then it’s mission accomplished. I win.

I imagined that I’m a bubble.

I want to gently and lovingly nudge myself into socializing.

I don’t want to try too hard because otherwise I will pop.

As I’m talking to people a curious thing happens.

Initially, I only feel comfortable making brief comments.

But soon after I get into a super interesting conversation with this girl, Lily:

The further I get into this conversation, the more I relax. The veil of anxiety starts to lift. Tightness in my throat loosens. The sinking feeling in my stomach goes away. It’s replaced by a calm buzz. I feel like a sports car that’s about to start a race, engines humming and ready to go a million miles.

As my confidence grows, it becomes easier for me to socialize. When I first arrived at the party, I felt stifled and restricted. I was too anxious to speak at length and struggled to find conversation topics. But now I feel at ease to say and do whatever I want. I let out my quirky side:

The conversation gets really good! Turns out, we have so much in common. We’re hanging off each others’ words and finishing each other’s sentences. It feels like we’re communicating telepathically, like voices in each other’s heads.

Lily and I walk around the room and she introduces me to some of her friends.

Seeing the social matrix

As I speak to Lily’s friends, I feel present. Nothing’s going on in my head. My awareness is focused solely on the present moment. I’m hyper aware of all my senses.

I feel like Neo in The Matrix. I can see the social matrix and bend it.

I can see the rhythm in the social interaction and jam to it. I’m coming up with perfect comments at just the right time, cracking jokes, laughing.

Words are just flowing out of my mouth. I am not producing the words. I’m like a fountain, the words are just arising and coming out of me.

Later, I don’t even remember what I talked about, all I remember is laughter and good vibes.

Socializing is like music

The tone of an interaction matters more than the words being said. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. The tone of voice, the body language. That’s why people with good energy can get away with saying almost anything. People love good vibes. It’s why Justin Bieber songs sound good even though his lyrics are terrible.

And singers don’t sound good straight away. They need to warm up. It’s just like how when we start socializing we feel anxious and stifled. But we warm up.

We start with some small talk. We feel more confident. We begin to relax, open up. And sooner or later we’re feeling the social rhythm. We’re harmonizing with everyone else, sharing the good vibes. We feel even more confident, become the life of the party, and take the melody to new heights.

I like to call this process of warming up:

The action loop of glory

The action loop only works when:

we accept our current emotions

we have no expectations.

If I started thinking How come I’m not confident yet? this will drive me to start worrying. Why am I not confident yet? I need to be confident and this starts the thought loop of despair.

If we accept how we feel and don’t have any expectations then we won’t have anything to worry about. The key is to keep acting and not get stuck in our heads.

And it doesn’t work all the time. Not everyone will respond well to us, and sometimes we won’t build up enough confidence to be completely free and expressive. But that’s okay. We don’t need to feel 100% confident all the time. Because:

Thank you, Creator of the Universe, for the gift of life you have given me. Thank you for giving me everything that I have ever truly needed. Thank you for the opportunity to experience this beautiful body and this wonderful mind. Thank you for living inside me with all your love, with your pure and boundless spirit, with your warm and radiant light. Thank you for using my words, for using my eyes, for using my heart to share your love wherever I go. I love you just the way you are, and because I am your creation, I love myself just the way I am. Help me to keep the love and the peace in my heart and to make that love a new way of life, that I may live in love the rest of my life. Amen. -Don Miguel Ruiz

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hiddendreamer67 · 5 years

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Couple’s Quarrel

Summary: Logan and his werewolf boyfriend Roman are having their first fight, and Patton is there to help Logan through it.

October Prompt #27: Quarrel.

Check out more of my writing at @hiddendreamerwriting!

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Logan sighed, closing the front door with an uncharacteristically dismal attitude. He stepped into the living room, taking a moment to process the multiple pieces of fabric stacked haphazardly before the tv.

“Logan!” Patton’s happy face popped out from the front of the tent. “Welcome back, I missed you!” Indeed, it had been nearly a week now since Logan had returned to the human apartment. “Where have you been? Do you want to join me in my blanket fort?”

Logan cringed inwardly, having hoped to avoid human interaction on tonight of all nights, possibly because for once he was craving it. “Ah…”

“Don’t worry, there’s enough room.” Patton scooted over, patting the spot next to him. “And it’s real comfy, I promise.”

“Very well then.” Logan tried to appear begrudging as he sat down in the aforementioned location, careful not to cuddle too close to Patton for fear of appearing desperate for companionship.

Patton cuddled closer anyways. It seemed his best friend could read him like a book. “I was gonna watch Into the Woods, if that’s okay?”

Logan thought about it, how that particular musical portrayed werewolves as dastardly and cruel. It wasn’t accurate, but it might provide him with a grim sort of satisfaction.

“That’s satisfactory.” Logan agreed, content for a while to watch the film as Patton babbled along in his ear, trying to provide some sort of distraction. It was working, for a while, until inevitably they came upon the first wolf scene.

“...oh.” Patton petered off, his face falling as he paused the movie. “Sorry, I forgot about that part. Let me change it-”

“No need.” Logan assured him.

Patton paused, turning around to give Logan a confused glance. “But, what about Roman?”

Logan pretended to remain ignorant, staring straight ahead at the screen and the predator depicted there. “What about him?”

Patton winced, and Logan knew that despite trying to hide his emotions Patton had become sympathetic due to his strange behavior. After all, Logan was often very adamant about removing media that depicted lycans incorrectly, seeing as it was downright insulting to one of Roman’s kind. The wolf had moaned about it enough that Logan had caught on to the habit in a fond sort of manner.

“Are you two fighting?” Patton guessed.

Logan considered this question. “I do believe we are having our first quarrel, yes.”

Patton was quiet a moment. “...do you want to talk about it?”

“I am uncertain.” Logan shrugged noncommittally.

“That’s fair.” Patton scooted closer to him, taking the remote and turning off the screen. He grabbed one of Logan’s hands, gently rubbing his thumb against the back of Logan’s palm. “Then maybe instead of talking about your feelings, you could just tell me what happened? And we can work it out together.”

Logan took a tense breath, trying to sort out the facts from the irrelevant details. “I’m not exactly certain what occurred myself.” He admitted. “I’ve been visiting Roman for a while now, he invited me to stay longer than usual to get to know their customs. But at that point I didn’t want to spend any longer in that house because it can be quite stifling with the amount of pack members present at all hours, although I doubt you would understand.”

“Logan.” Patton said, only a bit stern. “Just because I’m more extroverted doesn’t mean I don’t understand the need to be alone every once in a while.”

“Indeed, my apologies.” Logan waited until Patton nodded in thanks to continue. “So I was walking along the edge of town, just to get a breath of fresh air. A being unknown to me approached, obviously hostile in nature.”

Patton gasped, giving a much more dramatic reaction to Logan’s stoic retelling.

“Relax, I am fine. I clearly survived.” Logan assured him with a small smile, giving Patton’s arm a pat. “Roman appeared, the two got into a scuffle, similar to... dogs asserting dominance, I suppose. Roman won and the beast disappeared into the forest.”

“So Roman saved your life.” Patton’s eyes widened, impressed. “Wow Logan, that’s so- romantic! It doesn’t sound like a fight between you two, it’s kinda heroic.”

Logan grimaced, remembering the quarrel that came directly afterwards. “Well, you see…”

----------------------------

Logan’s heart was still beating rapidly, failing to retract to its normal pace as the threat limped back towards the forest. Roman stood, puffing out his chest and breathing raggedly until the being was truly gone. Then he turned to Logan, a wild gaze in his eye.

“Are you hurt?” Roman asked, and Logan forced himself not to flinch as Roman grabbed his arms, looking over the human with an intent gaze. How had Roman known to come? Had he followed Logan here?

“I- no, Roman, I am uninjured.” Logan tried to tug away, but Roman’s superior strength held out. “It was nothing more than a close call.”

“That was really close this time. Too close.” Roman slouched forwards, giving Logan a stern look like one might give when scolding a child. “Please, promise me you’re going to listen to me and be more careful in the future.”

“I am not an adolescent, I can take care of myself.” Logan insisted.

“You clearly cannot.” Roman gestured towards the woods. “This is why you need to stay with us, I’m more certain now than ever, come on-”

“No!” Logan protested, digging in his heels to slow Roman as the werewolf attempted to tug him along. “Roman, stop!”

Roman did stop, looking at Logan with an unreadable expression. “What, so you just want to keep running away from your problems?” His eyes were still manic, darting back and forth as if waiting to pick another fight. Roman’s claws were extended, grazing against Logan’s wrist in their firm grip. For the first time in months, Logan felt afraid of him.

“Roman, you’re scaring me.” Logan admitted, and his words miraculously made Roman flinch back, releasing his grip. “Stop treating me as though I’m just some sort of bauble to keep as a prize.”

“You know I don’t see you that way.” Roman whined, not unlike a puppy that was terrible with listening.

“Do I?” Logan wasn’t so sure now. “Everyone else in your family seems content to treat me like a dog, ironic given your canine appearance.”

“That’s low, even for you.” Roman glowered, clearly fuming. “Do you hate them so much that you’re willing to get yourself killed over it?”

“I didn’t intend to throw my life away.” Logan rolled his eyes, considering that to be obvious. “If you had thought to warn me about the dangers of the surrounding area, I would have been prepared.”

“No, you wouldn’t.” Roman insisted. “You’re too weak, but I can protect you from all that.”

“Even yourself?” Logan huffed. Roman’s face fell into such a state of despair that Logan immediately regretted his words, but was too prideful to take them back. Instead, he turned on his heel, content to not face Roman any longer. “I’m going back to the apartment.”

“Logan, wait.” Roman reached out for Logan again.

“Don’t touch me!” Logan dodged out of his grasp, now full on running back towards the town. If Roman wanted, he could easily catch up with Logan at any moment.

He didn’t.

-----------------------------------

“And that’s when I arrived here.” Logan finished.

Patton let out a low whistle. “Ah. So… lots of tempers, then.”

“Indeed.” Logan glanced at Patton, hoping his emotional friend would be better at deciphering what had just occurred. “Might you offer some assistance in regards to what this meant?”

“Well… emotions were definitely high.” Patton tapped his chin in thought. “I mean you were both just through a scary experience, so I think you said some things you didn’t mean. But it sounds to me that you’re feeling frustrated because Roman’s pack is not welcoming of your relationship, or appears that way, and being surrounded by werewolves was overwhelming for you.”

“Yes, that is accurate.” Logan agreed.

“And Roman…” Patton hummed, his nose scrunching up in thought. “I think… he feels like a failure.”

“A failure?” Logan raised an eyebrow at this deduction. “But he was the victor of the scuffle.”

“No, not that sort of failure.” Patton shook his head. “Roman wants to protect you, but he doesn’t understand how to do that without stifling you because he’s used to being around wolves who can take care of themselves and he sees you as more fragile. Physically, at least. And he doesn’t know how to protect you from his family, emotionally, so he just puts more and more effort into protecting you physically because it’s all he knows.”

“That’s barbaric.” Although Logan’s tone sounded indecisive. “The mindset of a neanderthal.”

“It’s sorta sweet, Logan.” Patton corrected, putting his arm around Logan’s shoulders. “I mean, I think you were right to come here, you both need some space to cool off, but if you two learned to communicate better I’m certain you could figure out some smart-brain way to make it work.”

“But how?” Logan protested. “The next intelligent step in our relationship was sharing a living space to test compatibility, and that has clearly failed. It is only logical that our arrangement must desist.”

Patton hummed, laying his head on Logan’s shoulder. “Logan, you are one of the smartest people I know. But sometimes, you are also one of the dumbest.”

“I beg your pardon?” Logan looked aghast, staring down at Patton with a scoff.

“Are you really going to let a thing like Roman’s family stop you two from being together?” Patton looked up at him. “I mean, if you really care about each other- which Roman clearly cares about you- that’s all that should matter.”

“The world does not operate that way.” Logan argued.

“Well, it should.” Patton said firmly, giving him a smile. “It’s okay to take a step back in your relationship when you realize you needed more time. Maybe try living apart for a while.”

“I doubt Roman would allow that.” Logan frowned, exasperated. “He often bemoans having to leave my side, and I imagine stopping all visits to his home would only make him more insufferable.”

“Yeah, well boundaries are also a thing.” Patton giggled a bit nervously. “If you don’t want to see him that much, you’re allowed to have time to yourself.”

Logan’s cheeks turned a bit pink, Patton misreading his statement. “Well, ah… I would not explicitly say I’m opposed to that much contact myself…”

“Then he can come over here!” Patton suggested excitedly. “I’d love to meet him more, and you’d feel less overwhelmed. He could even stay for a while if you two feel comfortable trying to live together again, I don’t mind.”

“Truly?” Logan was surprised at Patton’s eagerness. “I suppose… but it’s only delaying the inevitable. Roman is a pack animal by nature, I doubt he would abandon his family for a single individual.”

“You never know.” Patton shrugged. “But even if that’s true, we could always invite just one or two of his packmates over here so you could get to know them, and so they can learn you’re not so bad yourself.”

“You’re quite optimistic.” Logan bemused.

“And you should be too.” Patton informed him. “Maybe I’m wrong, and nothing is ever gonna work out. But you’ll never know unless you two just talk things through.”

#october 2019 #quarrel #sanders sides #logince #platonic logicality #logan sanders #logan #human!logan #human!patton #patton sanders #patton #werewolf!roman #roman sanders #roman #werewolves #werewolf

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shadowthrone-ammanas · 4 years

Text

Ghost Kid Chapter Ten: Repairs

Hat Kid was getting close to finishing her attempt at repairing the ship. She wouldn’t know if it was successful until she finished and turned it on. Once on, its self-diagnostics systems would tell her if the ship could fly and if so, how well.

It was nerve-wracking being so close to an answer on whether or not she was stuck here or if she’d have to truly start to consider how people back home might react to her new form. Despite that she buckled down on it, taking breaks only to read her book in lieu of sleeping.

The Subcon history book was dense and thick, lasting her far longer than any of the fairytale books had. The images of Subcon before it had been cursed were the most interesting. It was just a normal small kingdom surrounded by normal woods. It seemed to be a peaceful place, a few wars had been fought over it but not many and none of them particularly bad, all ending in peace treaties. It was actually kind of boring, not what Hat Kid had been expecting at all. It kept her busy when not working on her ship so she kept reading, hoping for more interesting stuff to pop up deeper in the book.

But eventually she reached a point where she finally, at long last had done everything she possibly could to repair her ship with what resources she had. She’d had to cut a few corners but in theory it might work. Only one way to find out.

The ship fired up just fine. Maybe it took a few seconds longer than normal but that might’ve just been her anticipation making it seem longer. She sat at the command desk… where her body had been and thus where she’d died! … Nope, she wasn’t thinking about that right now even if she just realized she’d been avoiding this spot until now. But she had no choice, it was the ship’s command desk.

She quickly punched in some commands, starting the ship’s self-diagnostics. It took it a few minutes but the overall result came up yellow. More info revealed that it was functional but being careful was advised, especially when warp jumping. The computer also advised going home for immediate proper repair. But that was possible, according the computer which was rarely wrong, the ship could safely make it all the way back home. Meaning despite all odds she’d done it, she’d gotten her ship space worthy again. All she had to do now was fix the window and she was free to go home whenever she pleased because she already had all the Time Pieces back – she’d only been sticking around to do the Death Wish contracts.

It almost didn’t feel real. How long had she been working on this? Weeks and weeks for sure, months even. And now it was basically done. But… did she still even want to go home?

Would she be accepted back as a ghost? Would returning dead count as having failed the final test? If so, they’d want take her ship away. Did she want to risk that with how strict the Headmaster was? Her ship meant everything to her, losing it or giving it up was out of the question, it was hers. But… she’d worked so hard to go back home, both before and after her death. And it was home she couldn’t just abandon home without even trying even if it meant risking her ship, could she?

With a sigh, she exited through the broken window, floating down to the forest floor. If only she could take a nap, get away from thinking about this decision for a while. She could read, that helped a lot but… she wasn’t in the mood to slog through more the history book right now.

Instead, she went for a wander. Getting away from the ship and just looking around the forest was nice, especially now that there weren’t any hazards to her. Eventually she inevitably ended up looking for Snatcher. It had been a while since she’d talked to him, days in fact. She found him in his favourite reading spot in the giant hollow.

“Snatcher,” she said in way of greeting as she floated in.

“Hmm… hello,” he replied, not looking up from his book.

“Um… I finished repairing my ship.” That got him to lower his book and look at her. “All I need to do now is fix the window and I can go home.”

“That’s great news,” he replied with a smile. “I’ll finally be rid of you. I can’t wait.”

“Yeah, but…” Hat Kid lifted a hand to rub the back her neck, far too used to the feel of her own ghostly form now. “I don’t know if I want to go to back home.”

Snatcher’s eyes narrowed as he actually closed his book now. “Why not?”

“I uh… don’t know if… they’d let me back like this. They might… count my death as a failure and… take away my ship.” And without that, what was the point? She had no family, a friend yes, but… would Bow want her back like this?

“Who’s ‘they’?”

“The school. I didn’t teach myself how to fly and repair a space ship, you know, someone had to teach me.”

“Honestly kid, if you told me you did, I might actually believe you.” Oh! A compliment, that was unlike him. Exciting stuff. But before she could call him on it, he continued. “But why are they teaching children that stuff in the first place?”

Should Hat Kid answer this? She’d been told not to say anything about her home planet to any intelligent life she discovered. … He was her BFF though so it was probably fine, especially since he wasn’t likely to be able to do anything with the info even if he wanted to. Besides, the rule had been about intelligent life and Snatcher was not alive so telling him was technically not breaking the rules. So…

“Well,” she said, “most of the kids aren’t given a real ship to fly until they’re a bit older. I’m what they call a ‘prodigy’ though, meaning I’m like real smart or something. I went through the classes super-fast so I would be allowed to fly a spaceship.” Once she’d learned that that was on the table, she’d been determined to do it no matter what it took. “Some of the teachers complained about how fast I was elevated because like a lot of the pilot tests and training things are super dangerous and people get hurt during them. They quickly stopped caring though after I aced the first one.” And she’d never cared, danger was fun and more than worth dealing with if it meant she got to fly her ship.

Snatcher frowned. “That sounds like a major lawsuit waiting to happen. They’re going to get sued into the ground sometime soon, the fact that they haven’t been already is a miracle.”

Hat Kid shrugged; she didn’t know much about that kind of thing. “I don’t know if they can be.” She didn’t really care either. “I’m pretty sure they’re heavily backed by the government or some big important organization that wants more trained pilots for their space fleet. They’re into ‘exploring outer space and expanding their galactic influence’ which I’m pretty sure means they’re into conquering weaker planets and expanding their space empire.”

Now Snatcher actually looked offended. It was comical. “That’s even worse kid. What the peck is wrong with your home planet?”

“I don’t know.” Hat Kid hadn’t thought anything was strange about it, though she had grown up with it so maybe he was right? She didn’t care though, she just wanted to fly her space ship. But… “Why do you care so much?”

“I don’t.” Lies, he put on a calm demeanor now that didn’t change how openly offended he’d just been. “I’m just saying, a school training children and other young people to be part of basically their army is amoral. I have no doubt there’s a lot of brainwashing going on there. The fact that their training is dangerous makes it even worse, especially since they let literal children take part in it.”

“What about all your contracts? You forced me to work for you, doing some pretty dangerous things. And the Death Wish contracts are super-duper dangerous, I almost died doing them more times than I can count. So, aren’t you just as bad as they are?”

“That’s different.” Snatcher made a dismissive gesture. “I’m not in charge of your wellbeing. People who take on the responsibility of raising and teaching children should at least try to raise them well.”

“So, what you’re saying is if you adopted a kid, you’d be a good parent?” Hat Kid would like to see that. She couldn’t even imagine Snatcher trying to be good, it’d be hilarious.

“Oh uh… I guess I’d try to be.” Snatcher shrugged, examining his nonexistent nails. “I’m not going to adopt any children though. I hate kids, they’re the worst. There’s one in particular that won’t stop bothering me, she’s without a doubt the single most annoying person I’ve ever met.”

Hat Kid couldn’t help but giggle a bit. “I’ll take that as a compliment. You’re old so you must’ve met a lot of people, the fact that I’m the most annoying one is impressive.”

“I’m not old.” Despite his contrary words, his expression and tone were closer to being soft than he probably intended. “Or well… maybe I am old in a way. Nothing wrong with being old though. And it wasn’t a compliment, it was an insult. Being annoying is a bad thing kid, it makes people not like you.”

“Well, you seem to like me plenty despite that so I’m not too worried.”

Snatcher scoffed. “In your dreams kid.” He could say that all he wanted but she knew the truth, this conversation confirmed it. But speaking of that, the thing she’d come here to discuss with him wasn’t resolved, they’d got sidetracked.

“But uh… anyway,” she said. “I was tasked with visiting three planets to gather data and stuff, this one wasn’t really planned, as a final test. I was supposed to fly back home and graduate and the ship would officially be mine.” It already was hers as far as she was concerned. “But… since I died, they might view it as a failure and take away my ship. I… would rather not return if that’s what they’re going to do.”

“How likely is it that they’ll take your ship?”

“Uh… I don’t know but… I fear it’s high.” Was she just being paranoid though? Or was she judging them accurately? “And I don’t know much about ghosts on my home planet but… I know there are ghost hunters who hunt them. I don’t know what they do with them once they catch them though.” There was a very real possibility she’d find out if she went back. “So… I don’t know if I should go home but I’ve worked so hard to go back and it’s still home so… I’m not sure what I should do.”

“Hmmm… sounds like you’re in a bit of pickle.”

“Yeah, can you uh… help me? Give me advice or something? I know you probably don’t have any experience in this kind of thing but… I don’t know what to do.”

Snatcher was silent for a few seconds before replying. “Depending on the exact laws of your planet, you might be able to make a legal case for keeping your ship and graduating. You’re a child without a legal guardian though so that complicates things a bit on top of the fact that the school itself is already unethical so they wouldn’t play fair and they’d be able to get away with it because they have a lot of money and a powerful backer. And you’re a ghost, if they’re the kind who want to eradicate ghosts, then you’re probably screwed if you return. So, I would say, if you comfortable taking the risk, then go for it, otherwise, cut your losses and find a new home. You already said you don’t have any parents and the way you spoke about it suggested you don’t have any family either so there’s really nothing keeping you from not returning.” His tone suggested he thought that was the right course of action.

“Uh… okay. I need to think about it some more than I guess.” But really… she’d already decided, hadn’t she? She’d just wanted someone to tell her that that was the right choice or at least an okay choice to make. And she needed one more thing… “If I do decide not to go back though can I… stay here?” Because where else would she go? She was a ghost, a haunted forest full of other ghosts would be the most logical place for her to call her new home. With a bit of work – and probably with Snatcher’s help if he was willing – she could get a docking bay for her ship in the forest so she could take off and land at will. She could take her ship to the nearest spaceport to repair it fully before returning and then from then on this would be her home base. Assuming of course that Snatcher was okay with her staying indefinitely.

Snatcher opened his mouth as if to answer but grimaced instead. “Uh… you know what, fine,” he finally said, relaxing back into his chair. “Since you died, you’ve been less of a bother anyway, so I guess you can stay, provided you continue to stay out of my way.”

“All right, I can do that. Thank you!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Go figure out what you want to do.” He made a shooing gesture towards her. “And then tell me so I know if I should expect you to stick around or not.” He picked up his book again, opening it and already ignoring her again.

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#My Writing #ahit #A hat in time #ghost kid #snatcher & hat kid #Talk of Hat Kid's past #ghost kid fic

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demiboydemon · 4 years

Text

Keitor Month Day 12: Naxzela

Lotor ran his fingers through his hair, hoping to tame its unruliness but having no success.

“Quiznacking mice,” he grumbled, “Always stealing things. I should have eaten them when I had the chance.”

Lotor sighed and finally gave up trying to fix his hair without a comb.

‘Maybe I could borrow one?’ He thought, ‘But who has hair long enough to have a spare?’

Allura was out of the question. She wasn’t fond of Lotor and he did not wish to make her even less so by asking to borrow one of her possessions.

Coran would probably have a mustache comb, but Lotor didn’t want that anywhere near him.

Shiro had had long hair for a day or two when he had first been found, but had gotten a haircut soon after and probably didn’t have a comb.

Keith was the obvious choice, but Lotor worried his infatuation with Keith would become rather apparent if he just walked up and asked to borrow a comb like some sort of uncouth animal.

But as he knew that fear was silly, and since his comb was still missing and his hair wasn’t getting any tamer, he decided to go ask Keith.

Lotor got no answer when he knocked on Keith’s door.

‘He must not be here right now,’ Lotor thought, ‘I’ll just pop in and brush through my hair, then be on my way. No one will even have to know.’

Lotor opened the door to a sight that alarmed him. Keith was on the floor, wrapped in a blanket, crying.

“Keith?” Lotor asked, “Are you alright?”

Keith looked up at him. His eyes were red and puffy. His face was stained with tears. “Lotor? What the quiznack are you doing here?”

Lotor frowned. “I came to ask you if you had seen my comb. What are you doing?”

“This is my room.”

“No, I know why you’re here. My question is what are you doing?”

“I think you can see what I’m doing. Damn it,” Keith stood up and threw the blanket off himself, “I said I wouldn’t cry!”

Lotor stepped into Keith’s room and closed the door. “There’s no shame in showing your emotions.”

“That’s easy for you to say! You don’t show any at all!”

“That took me years of practice and punishment for messing up. I’m very glad that you went through no such thing.” Lotor thought back to his childhood, but quickly shoved away the unpleasant memories.

“You still haven’t answered my question,” Lotor said, “What’s gotten you so upset?”

“At Naxzela,” Keith said.

“Naxzela? What about Naxzela?”

Keith said nothing for a long time.

“I almost died,” Keith finally whispered, just loudly enough for Lotor to hear. “I would have if you hadn’t shown up when you did. I wasn’t sure if it would work to save them, but I had to do something. I couldn’t just sit there and let them die. The universe needs them.”

‘The universe needs you, too. I need you, Keith.’ Lotor thought, but didn’t say. He didn’t think it would be helpful to make this about himself, so he chose to say nothing.

“No one even knows, Lotor!” Keith yelled, slamming his fist onto his desk. The momentum of his fist made the tears fly from Keith’s eyes, staining the paper next to him. Lotor hoped they weren’t important. “And if they did, they wouldn’t care!”

“Keith,” Lotor tried, “Your team cares about you. I’m sure that if you told them, they would be devastated.”

“That’s why I can’t tell them! I don’t know which would be worse, them being upset or them not being upset!”

“I see.”

“I’m just... I’m so sick of it!”

“Sick of what?”

“I’m so damn sick of being sad. And I’m sick of being angry. And I’m sick of being sick of things, and I’m sick of being in charge, and I’m sick of not being in charge, and I’m sick of being in love with someone as amazing as you when you could never feel that way about someone like me!”

‘Feel like that about someone like him?’ Lotor wondered. ‘Does he mean he likes me? If he’s feeling bad about himself, it doesn’t matter right now.’

Keith was still for a moment before realizing what he had said. “I- I didn’t mean-”

“What did you mean ‘someone like you?’” Lotor asked, taking Keith’s hand in his own. “That’s all I care about right now. Are you thinking badly of yourself?”

Lotor didn’t understand how Keith could see himself in a negative light. He was the most incredible person Lotor had ever met, but he knew that self doubt cared not for one’s abilities.

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m a failure. I was a terrible Black paladin, a terrible Blade of Mamora, and a terrible friend. And you... you’re amazing, Lotor. You’re so elegant and smart and you always know what to say.”

“I don’t,” Lotor replied, “And I’m not. And you’re not any of the things you said, either.”

“It’s just... you’re everything I wish I was.”

“There are a lot of things I’ve done that I hope you never have to do. I am not the perfect man you think me to be.”

Lotor sat on Keith’s bed and patted the space beside him. “Sit?”

Keith obliged. Lotor began to speak again. “I understand what you’re going through. You feel like a failure, like you’ve let people down. But if there’s anything I’ve learned over the years, it’s that those who truly care about you will care about you regardless of your performance. Those who don’t never really cared, so they aren’t worth wasting your time on.”

“Are you talking about your generals?”

Lotor shook his head. “I’m talking about my father. I tried so hard to impress him, to prove to him that I could be a good son. I failed over and over again. I did terrible things for the sake of approval I would never receive. I could never succeed. It was an impossible task.”

“I’m sorry.”

“There’s no need for you to apologize. You weren’t at all responsible, nor was I. The problem was the person whose approval I was striving for.”

Lotor tentatively placed his arm around Keith’s shoulder, feeling pleased when Keith didn’t push it off.

“You feel scared. Scared because of what happened at Naxela, yes, but also scared that it could happen again and you would be powerless to stop it. Scared that you would be able to stop it, but would lose your life in the process. Scared that no one would mourn or miss you when you were gone.”

“You’re right, but that doesn’t exactly help me feel better.”

“But you’re wrong, Keith. So many people would miss and mourn you. Shiro, Hunk, Pidge, Lance, Allura, Coran, Matt. And me. I would miss you dearly.”

“You would miss me?”

“Of course I would,” Lotor said, “Because someone like me could absolutely feel that way about someone like you.”

Lotor never did find his comb, but he didn’t mind. He found Keith, and that was even better.

@keitor-month-2020

#keith vld #lotor vld #we have the power of keitor and satan on our side #keitor #keitor month 2020 #vld #voltron #fanfiction

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kennethsahuleka · 4 years

Text

The Best Little Brother

Written by Kenneth Nelson Philander Sahuleka

Not long after I turned seven, my sister told me that I had to start washing the dishes. I had grown up, so I should start helping out around the house. I happily agreed, since it was a chance for me to prove to Clarissa that I could be of use.

Before I started my chore, Clarissa pointed at one dish in particular. It was ceramic, decorated with roses. She told me, “This one’s special, it was a gift from Doni, so wash it carefully. Make sure it’s clean when you’re done. Can you do that, baby brother?” she asked with a smile. I shouted, “Yes!” then picked up the dishes and began washing them one by one.

I saved the special plate for last. It was probably a dumb thought, but I wanted to practice first. That plate will be my final test, and I had to be ready for it.

My arms, palms and fingers ached. I wasn’t yet used to washing dishes. The tip of my index finger began to sting, maybe because I used too much soap. But I kept on washing. I wanted to be useful, I wanted my sister to know that I was dependable--and I wouldn’t mind a compliment.

There they were: Six plates, two bowls, and four mugs. All of them sparkling clean. I felt I was ready to take on the final challenge. It was time for the special plate.

“Good job, kiddo,” my sister said as she tussled my hair. I hid my smile from her, feeling just a little embarrassed.

But it was not yet time to celebrate. Slowly, carefully I picked up the plate my sister said was “special.” I was terrified of dropping and shattering it. Who knows what would have happened had I done that? Probably something very bad.

Everything went off without a hitch though. I didn’t drop the plate, I washed it until it sparkled, checked it again for any stains, scrubbed the already clean plate, then put it on the rack for clean dishes.

Clarissa said, “Wait, show me.”

I picked the plate back up, and handed it to her. I was happy to do it, I was proud of washing the dishes so well.

Clarissa slapped my left cheek with the palm of her right hand. It was a hard slap. I fell, mumbled something I could not remember and turned to look at her. “Jimmy, this isn’t good enough,” she said, shoving the plate to my face. Lying down I looked at it, closer than I had looked before. There was a small brown speck. I hadn’t noticed it.

“Do you think this is clean, Jim?” it was more a threat than a question.

“No,” I was holding back my tears. I must not cry in front of her, she wouldn’t like that. “I’m sorry. I’ll wash it again.”

“Oh you will. You’ll wash it until I’m satisfied. Got it?”

“I will. I’ll do better, I promise.”

“Good, now go on. Wash it again.”

I washed the plate again. Five times I was shouted at, cursed at. She called me an “idiot,” a “moron,” a “failure,” and many other hurtful things. I tried to ignore them, and to just wash. “Just keep scrubbing, Jimmy, it’ll be over soon,” I said in my mind. By the sixth wash, she told me I was done. The plate was clean, she told me that I did a very good job and that she was impressed. Then she started crying.

My sister began apologizing to me profusely. “I love you, so, so much. You know that, right?” she asked. I nodded in reply.

“I’m sorry. Sometimes… sometimes you just make me so angry. But I love you. It’s just, with that dinner plate...” she started sobbing, finding it difficult to get her words out.

“I just want you to be a good kid, to be a great man when you grow up, you understand that, right?”

“Yes,” I said without thinking.

“Good, good. That’s really good. I’m so proud of you. You did a really good job. Thank God Doni’s not home,” She smiled at me with tears still pouring out of her eyes.

“Ah,” Clarissa realized something when she looked at my fingers, “we should get you a band-aid for those,” she said as she walked out of the kitchen.

My fingertips were bleeding. I hadn’t noticed. No idea why I didn’t. I wasn’t a very tough kid. I cried often, especially when I got scratched up. This time, I didn’t.

My legs started to tremble. I leaned against the kitchen sink. I was tired. I needed to sleep. But I had to wait for my sister and the band-aids. If I left, more bad things would happen.

She entered the kitchen, looking as if she had been rushing--sweat was running down her forehead. She immediately asked me to show her my hands. I did. Four of my fingers were bleeding, three on my right hand, one on the left.

“Oh you poor, poor thing. Next time, don’t be in such a rush, okay?” she sighed, “if you had done things more patiently, if you had listened to me, you wouldn’t be hurt right now.”

“I know, I’m sorry, Clarissa.”

“It’s okay. Next time, listen to me. You’ll be safe that way.”

“I know.”

She had stopped crying. Her mind was focused on cleaning and nursing my bloody fingers.

I said “Ow,” when she sprayed alcohol on my fingers, and reflexively pulled them away. My eyes started to feel wet.

“Jimmy, what did I tell you about crying?”

“Boys don’t do that.”

“Yes, that’s right. Only girls do.”

“I know.”

“C’mere, those fingers are still bleeding,” she said while pointing at my hands. I slowly moved my hands toward her. This time, I didn’t wince, I didn’t make a sound, and I just went through it.

“There, all done. Better, right?”

“Yes. Thank you, Clarissa,” I smiled. I was happy to know that even though I had been bad, Clarissa still loved me.

“No problem, kiddo. Now go play, you did a very good job today,” she smiled. It was an honest, genuine smile.

“For being such a good boy, I’ll let you have an extra hour on the PlayStation, how’s that sound?”

I smiled a little, and said, “I’d like that.”

“I know you would. Now who’s the best sister in the world?”

I laughed, knowing the answer would always be, “You, Clarissa, it’s you!”

“You bet I am! Now go on and play, and don’t tell Doni about this, all right? It’ll be our little secret.”

“Okay,” I answered, because it was the smart thing to do.

I left the kitchen and went straight to the living room--the thought of sleep disappearing from my mind. I plugged the power and AV cables into their sockets, turned the television on, grabbed my Crash Bandicoot CD, placed it ever so gently into the PlayStation, then turned the console on. It was time to play and only play.

Hours passed by. Before I knew it, it was already six in the evening, time for dinner. Clarissa told me to stop playing and to get ready to eat. Doni still wasn’t home, so I would have to pick up the food from the delivery man--a few hundred steps away from our alley. I did. I wanted her to know I wasn’t bad anymore.

After dinner, it was bedtime. I wished I could play Crash Bandicoot some more, but rules are rules. And I could always play some more tomorrow.

I found sleep to be difficult. I had disappointed Clarissa and made her worry about me and Doni. I had been bad. I started to cry, and thought to myself that I had to be a better little brother; one who’s good enough for the best sister in the whole wide world.

Days went by without anything happening. Doni did not know about Clarissa and I’s secret. I continued to help wash the dishes, each time being more and more careful. I wasn’t about to disappoint my sister again. She once trusted me enough to wash them by myself, when Doni wasn’t around. When I was done, she said that I “did a really good job.” I was happy, and I was, for once, a good little brother.

On Thursday, school finished on time at three in the afternoon. Mas Usman picked me up from school as usual. We rode home on his motorcycle.

I was really excited to come home. I was looking forward to playing the new game I just bought yesterday. It was the sequel to Crash Bandicoot--one of the best games ever--and I couldn’t wait to start playing it. Though I’d probably have to ask Clarissa to help me with the harder levels.

Clarissa’s super good at video games. Every time I got stuck on a level, or on a boss fight, I’d ask her to help out and she’d be done with it all in a few minutes. I didn’t know how she got so good. She would always tell me to keep trying before handing the controller to her though.

Even if it took hours upon hours for me to finish a difficult part in a game, Clarissa would wait patiently. She would shower me with praises whenever I managed to scrape up a win. If I gave up and handed the joystick to her, she would sigh and play for me. I liked playing video games with her, it was always fun.

Those were my thoughts as I rode home. But it looked like I had been struck with bad luck. There was traffic. A lot of traffic. Cars, motorcycles, even some pedestrians were stuck on the road. There were shouts. It sounded like people were cursing. I saw a bunch of adults throw around cuss words, shoving and at times hitting one another. I was getting worried.

I pulled the visor of my helmet open. “What’s going on?” I asked Mas Usman.

He didn’t turn to look at me. His eyes were glued on the brawling strangers. “An accident? Yeah, probably that, Jim,” he said with a hint of curiosity.

“Oh, should we help?” Maybe that would get us moving again.

“No, no. Let ‘em sort this out by themselves. Would be bad for us.”

“Bad how?”

“It’s just not safe. We’ll have to wait, Jim. Okay?”

“Okay,” I agreed. Mas Usman couldn’t see me, but I was frowning as I closed the helmet’s visor. Underneath it, I was tearing up.

I needed to get home quickly. I wanted to play my new game with Clarissa. I also definitely did not want to come home late. I breathed in deep, then exhaled. I kept breathing that way for a while, and it managed to somehow calm me. With my worries gone, I thought of what I would do at home.

I hoped Clarissa would let me have at least an hour to try out the game when I got home. Then, if I finished up my homework quickly, I’d have some more time to play before having to go to bed. Alright: go home, try out the game, do homework fast, finally play the game, eat dinner, then sleep. That was the plan, and it sounded pretty good to me.

After about an hour, Mas Usman and I started moving again. The fighting adults were dragged off to the side of the road by people who were sick of their antics. All of them ended up in a fistfight on the sidewalk--nothing new around here--and that meant the road was clearing up.

We passed by a sedan and an SUV that looked like they had been fused together. I didn’t pay much attention, noticing only that the sedan looked to have annihilated the trunk of the SUV. I didn’t see anyone hurt though, so that was good.

“You alright, Jim?” Mas Usman asked suddenly.

“What?” I muttered in confusion.

“Did the fight scare you? It’s okay if it did; happens to kids your age.”

“Oh. I’m fine.” I answered honestly.

“You sure?”

“Yup.” I was just glad that we weren’t stuck for any longer.

“Well, if you say so.” For some reason, it seemed as if my answer didn’t live up to Mas Usman’s expectations. I had no idea why.

The rest of the ride went by silently. Neither of us had anything to say. The silence was partly my fault, because the only thing I cared about was putting the Crash Bandicoot CD into my PlayStation and playing it with Clarissa.

As my mind wandered, I heard Mas Usman say, “We’re here, Jim.”

“Oh, thank you,” I said. I hopped off the motorcycle and asked him, “How much should I pay?”

Mas Usman smiled lightly at me, he said, “I was thinking that this one should be on me. I chose a pretty crappy route, what with the nightmare traffic and the brawling idiots.”

I was confused. I had to pay him, that’s what Clarissa told me. “Will ten thousand be enough?”

“What? Listen, Jim--”

“Please? Is it enough? My sister tells me I should always pay you for the rides home.” I didn’t want to upset her.

Mas Usman looked at me for a second, glanced to the side and uttered, “If you say so.”

“So it’s ten thousand?”

“Yeah, as usual.”

“Okay,” I said while happily reaching into my pocket for the money.

I handed Mas Usman the ten thousand Rupiahs bill, and thanked him again. He started to apologize, stopped, then asked whether or not I would need a pick up the next day. “Oh, I’ll need a ride home after school.”

“Three o’clock?”

“Yup.”

“Okay then, see you tomorrow, Jim. Be good.”

Mas Usman rode off, his motorcycle leaving a trail of smoke that would cloud anyone unlucky enough to be behind him. He was nice though--even if he did sometimes say cuss words--and Clarissa told me I should only ride home with him, so I always did.

I turned to my house, and I was surprised to see my Doni standing in the front yard. He was smoking, with a can of beer in hand. He looked at me, unblinking and unsmiling. I did not know why. My shoulders suddenly started to ache. I guessed that the bruises hadn’t healed yet. But I tried to ignore them, and him. I just focused on the idea of playing Crash Bandicoot with Clarissa.

I opened our fence gate. It was made of metal, and had begun rusting. It creaked, and had to be given an extra push to fully open. It was heavy for a scrawny seven year-old, but I always managed.

“Where the hell were you?” Doni asked, out of the blue. His eyes drilled holes into me. He took a sip of his beer--it was a can of Bintang, his favourite, I liked it as well--but his eyes never left mine.

“There was--”

“I’m not done talking,” he interrupted as I was trying to explain how there was an accident on the road.

“But--”

“Little kids don’t interrupt adults, get it?”

I said nothing.

“Your sister was damn worried about you. She just wouldn’t shut up. So here I am, told to stand like a moron in the yard, all to wait for you.”

I still said nothing.

“Well, what’s the big excuse for coming home late, huh? Did you go to the internet cafe with your friends? Were you playing football? What?”

I had never done either of those things. I didn’t go to internet cafes with friends, and I didn’t really understand football.

“Say something!” he commanded.

“There was an accident on the road--”

“Oh, the classic excuse. An accident, sure kid, sure.”

Doni started walking towards me, while gulping down his beer and tossing away his cigarette.

“You know what I don’t like about kids?” He asked.

“I--”

He slapped me. Hard. I fell down.

“You little shits just love lying your ass off, making trouble for adults like me and your sister. Don’t you?”

Standing up, I screamed at him, “I’m not lying!”

Doni punched me in the gut. The force was strong enough to make me puke. Again I fell down, landing on top of the pool of my own vomit.

I could only groan in pain. My eyes were wet, I didn’t realize I had started crying. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t breathe. Help, was the only word that crossed my mind.

I rolled my body sideways, trying to lie down. My back was on the ceramic tiles that were covered in vomit. It was warm. I wanted to say something, but ended up puking the rest of my gut’s contents. It hurt.

“Ugh, stop that,” said Doni. He backed away from me. “Don’t be such a baby. You’re a man, act like one. Jesus.” Then he said, “ I threw a weak punch, and you’re already on the floor?” He paused to look at me, then spoke with a voice dripping with loathing, “Christ, are you crying?”

I was. My sobs made the pain worse. I curled up, looking like a fetus. It hurt to lie down. Then I heard the door open. It was Clarissa.

I looked at her, mouthed the words “help me.” I could not speak. She looked back at me, then at Doni. She walked slowly, methodically toward him and asked, “Doni, is everything alright?”

“What kinda dumb question is that?” Doni snapped. “Your little brother seems to think he can get away with lying.”

“Oh,” she paused, “are you sure he did? I mean, he’s never lied before.”

“Just because he hasn’t, doesn’t mean he can’t. We gotta stop this now, hun. Before he gets any worse.”

“Alright then. Why don’t you go on inside? I’ll have a talk with Jimmy.”

“Sure,” Doni said. He took his cigarettes out of his pocket, lit one with a disposable lighter, then walked to the door.

“Doni, no smoking inside the house. Please?” Clarissa requested.

Doni sighed, flicked away the newly lit cigarette, mumbled “Fine,” and went into the house.

I started to move. I tried to sit upright, but my body would not listen. I fell back to the puddle of vomit, coughed for a while, and groaned in pain.

“Jimmy, oh Jimmy, are you alright?” Clarissa asked. Her face showed worry, and her voice sounded sincere.

I wasn’t. I tried to tell her that, but I still could not utter a word. I wanted to explain to her that I wasn’t lying, but I couldn’t do that either without speaking. I gave up, lied down and clutched my stomach.

“Why’d you come home so late? It’s already past five. This is unacceptable, Jim. I get that young boys want to have fun, I do, but you still have to listen to me. I’m your big, sister, remember? I want what’s best for you.”

She did.

“And why were you stupid enough to lie? I never taught you to lie. Look what happens when you do!” She put her face in the palm of her hands, and continued her speech, “Don’t you dare lie to me or Doni! We’re raising you as best as we can, do you get that? But we can’t do that if you start lying…” she paused, pulled away her face from her palm, and went on to say, “Not just that, but also disobeying us? You can’t do these things, Jim! Do you understand?”

I just nodded.

“And you know when Doni disciplines you, I can’t,” her mouth moved but no words came, then she uttered in a whisper, “you know how he is,” she looked right into my eyes as she said that.

I nodded again.

“Good, that’s good, Jimmy,” she smiled, and stood up. “I’ll help you clean up, wait for me here.”

When I could sit, she helped me out of my bile-stained shirt. Bare-chested, I stood up and was sprayed with a garden hose. She went back inside the house to grab a towel, then wiped me down.

“There, all better, right?” she asked.

“Yes, thank you,” I croaked.

“Good, good. Now go take a shower. You don’t exactly smell nice, and Doni would not like that,” Clarissa explained.

I went inside, took a shower, and changed to a pair of shorts and my favorite Spiderman t-shirt. I looked clean, that was good. Clarissa would like that. Maybe Doni would too. Then I remembered I still had the Crash Bandicoot CD in my backpack. I went to Clarissa.

She was chowing down on fried fish in our dining room. She ate while watching some soap opera I didn’t know or care about. Immediately I showed her the CD and asked “Sis, can we play this?” with a huge grin on my face.

“You finished your homework?” she asked, without glancing at me, her eyes turning from the television to her room and back again.

“Well no, but--”

“No buts. Finish them, then we can play.” She still didn’t turn to look at me.

I wasn’t one-hundred-percent happy with her answer, but I was glad that I would have the chance to play the game--with her too, if I was lucky. So I breezed through my homework; not checking for mistakes, answering and writing down the solutions as quickly as I could. No grade was as important as playing Crash Bandicoot with my sister.

When I was done, I sprinted towards Clarissa, game in hand, proudly declaring, “I’m all done!”

She smiled and tousled my hair. I liked how often she messed with my hair. “Very good,” she was praising me, and I was happy. “We’ll play but only for an hour, okay? Doni and I…” she paused, thinking of what, I did not know. Then she simply stated that she and Doni “...have something very important to do later.”

I was fine with that. I didn’t even think I would get the chance to play, what with coming home late and having been punished for lying.

We ended up playing for hours. She was having as much fun as I was, and as usual she tackled the harder levels while I sat back and watched in awe.

We only stopped playing when Doni started shouting from Clarissa’s room, calling for her. With that, she said it was my bedtime. I saved the game, turned off the PlayStation, and headed to bed.

That night, I wept on my pillow. I did not know why.

In the following weeks, I did everything that was asked of me. I wanted to be the perfect little brother, someone my sister could be proud of--someone dependable, who comes home on time and never lies.

Definitely someone who never ever needs to be disciplined by Doni. Clarissa also didn’t like the sight of Doni disciplining me. And maybe I was a good enough little brother, because I was never scolded again by Clarissa or Doni. Everything was good.

It was a Saturday. There was no school, so I busied myself with Crash Bandicoot--it had been weeks but I still could not finish it. Neither could my sister, to my surprise. Well, we couldn’t afford a new game anyway, so having a game we liked but couldn’t finish was just great.

My sister finished cooking and brought our lunch to the dining table. She asked me to stop playing and eat. I instantly paused the game and went for my meal. It was rice, rendang and two fried fish. It was a feast. I thanked her, a lot, and began devouring everything on my plate. For a second, I thought about how it was a good thing that Doni was away, because it meant all the rendang and fish were mine and mine alone.

While I was eating, my sister mentioned that I “…should play outside more.” I said I liked staying home with her, playing the PlayStation together. Then she asked me, “Don’t you want to play with your friends? You know, play football like Doni does?”

I thought for a while, then replied, “I don’t know who to play with, though.”

“Your friends, of course! Maybe you could call the ones from school, ask them to play with you?” she asked cheerfully, with a smile on her face.

“Um, I don’t know them very well.”

“That’s okay. You can get to know them by spending time with them,” her smile was starting to fade.

“But why? I like staying home!” I protested.

“Don’t you talk back to me!” snapped Clarissa.

She stood up, walked purposefully towards me and pulled me by my hair so that I faced upwards, right at her enraged face. I did not dare turn away.

“You will listen to me, because I am your big sister, because this is what Doni and I know is good for you. Do you understand me?”

“It hurts,” I started to cry.

“I asked you a question: do you understand me?”

“Yes, Clarissa, I do,” I did, and I would have said anything to stop her pulling my hair.

She released me. Then, with a hint of anger she said, “Good. Never do that again.”

I started crying.

“Oh no you don’t! Boys don’t cry, remember?” she yelled at me.

“I’m not crying,” I tried to stop the tears from coming out.

She sighed, started rubbing her face, and said, “There you go again, you’re starting to become a liar,” she paused and looked at the floor, “just like Doni said you would be.”

“No, I’m not, I promise,” I pleaded.

She released her hand from her hair, then locked her eyes with mine. “You better not. Just be glad that Doni’s not here.”

That shut me up.

“Try to disobey me, try to say no, lie one more time, and just see what happens. Am I understood?”

I held back the sobs, they would only make things worse. “I understand. I’ll always listen to you, Clarissa.”

We stayed quiet for a long, long time. I could hear the clock ticking, the buzzing of flies, the silence. After who knows how long, Clarissa simmered down, and a smile formed on her face “Now that’s a good little brother,” she said without a hint of emotion, which made it difficult for me to believe her. “You are such a good boy,” this time she sounded genuine. “Now finish up your food,” and now her voice was that of a commander ordering her troops. I did not know what to think. I just did as I was told.

I ate everything on my plate. I didn’t want to find out what would have happened had I not. Clarissa would not like that. She would be upset again. I suddenly realized that Doni had not come home, and I thanked God for that.

“Now go call your friends. I want to see you play outside by tomorrow, okay?”

I didn’t know who to call, but I said, “Okay,” without much thought.

“And make sure you guys play football. Doni said he wants to teach you to be a striker like him.”

“Okay,” I agreed, even though I didn’t know what ‘striker’ exactly meant.

At night, I called everyone I could. I had to ask for their numbers--I only had one: Arthur’s, who once worked on a group project with me. At the end of my search, I found six people I could call. I didn’t know them at all. We’ve never even said hello to each other at school. But I had to try. I had to be the best little brother.

I called the first number I got: A classmate whose name was Andhika.

My heart was racing as I dialed his number. I waited without breathing as the dial tone kept on beeping. Then someone finally answered. I think it was an old lady, maybe Andhika’s mom? Or his grandmother?

“Hello?” she asked.

“Hello, ma’am, this is Andhika’s classmate,” I paused, catching my breath.

“This is his house, do you need to talk to him?”

“That would be great, ma’am!” that went a lot easier than I expected.

I heard her chuckle a little. She then said, “I’ll go get him. Oh, sorry, I forgot to ask your name.”

“It’s Jim, Jim from school.”

“Alright Jim from school, give me a moment.”

I waited for what felt like an eternity. What exactly was I going to say? Hey, I know you don’t know me, but would you like to play football tomorrow? I didn’t have time to think of a proper question, since Andhika was already on the phone.

“Hi there, Jim is it?”

“Yup, Jim from school.”

“I uh,” he paused for a second, “don’t think we’ve talked to each other before.”

I felt embarrassed, nervous, but I had to speak, “I know,” my voice was trembling, “but do you think,” I stopped talking, trying to get the words out as my chest tightened, “you could play football with me tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow? Uh, sure. But who are we playing with?”

I didn’t know. Because of that, “I don’t really know,” was all I could say.

“You don’t really know?” he asked, sounding confused.

“No, but I’m working on it,” I insisted, “I’ll call more of our classmates,” I said, trying to reassure him that yes, we would be able to play football tomorrow.

“You do know we’ll need around twenty guys, right?”

I forgot that part. “I know, I know, I have their numbers right here,”

“Well, okay, tell me if you somehow got twenty more players,” he said with a tone that was very much filled with doubt.

“I will. I’ll call you after that, okay?”

“Sure, sure,” he said as he hung up the phone.

Twenty more people. I did not remember the fact that football is played by twenty-two people. How was I going to scrounge up that many? I only had five more numbers to call. I had to keep trying though, I had to.

I called the rest of the numbers. The first three--James, Adhi, Biman--all went the same way, identical to my call with Andhika. They doubted I could gather all the players we would need in such a short time. They were right to doubt. I wasn’t sure I could either. The fourth, or the fifth on the list, didn’t go as smoothly as the rest did.

I called the number. It belonged to someone named Rudi. I had never spoken to him either. The dial tone only beeped twice and someone was already on the phone. “Hello? Who’s this?” the voice belonged to a boy, probably someone my age. It could be Rudi.

“Hello. It’s Jim from Rudi’s school. Can I talk to Rudi?” my voice was a little shaky, something about the way he spoke made me uneasy.

“This is him. What do you want, JIm?”

“Um, you want to play football tomorrow?”

“What?” he sounded surprised.

“Football, I’m gathering the guys from school--”

“Jim, I’m not playing football with you.”

“But--” I started to plead, I needed to get him to play. I didn’t want to disappoint Clarissa anymore.

“Dude, we never even talked to each other. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you talk to anyone.”

“I know, but we can still play,” I said, not really knowing what else I could say.

“Nope. You’re weird, you know that? Never talking to anyone, then calling me out of the blue like this? And for what? To play football with someone like you? No way.” He hung up.

I slumped down. I hugged my knees and began crying, I could not bring myself to call the last number on the list--Clarissa wouldn’t like this either. Rudi was right though. I never talked to anyone and no one ever talked to me. And now I'm suddenly asking them to play football with me? Would they even show up? No. They probably just said yes so I’d stop asking.

Clarissa must have heard my sobs, as she yelled, “Hey! Hey, what did I tell you about crying?”

“Boys don’t do that,” I answered sheepishly.

“That’s right, so why are you weeping like a little girl?”

“It’s just--” in between sobs I tried to explain all that had happened. How I contacted everyone I could, the painful things Rudi said, how I was afraid that no one would show up tomorrow. I knew I was just making excuses, but I didn’t want Clarissa to be upset with me. Especially since I’m now a well-known liar.

She sighed, “That kid, Rudi, was it? He said those things to you?”

“He did,” I answered while still failing to stop the tears from falling.

“I’m going to have a talk with him later. You still have his number?”

The crumpled list was still in my hand, I handed it to her.

“Alright, I’ll call him later. “

“I’m sorry, Clarissa, I didn’t--”

She hugged me. “Hush now, it’s okay. It must have hurt to hear all those bad things, huh?”

I didn’t say anything, only nodded.

“It’s fine, Jimmy, it’s fine. I need you to stop crying now.”

It took a while, but eventually the tears stopped.

“That’s my good little brother,” she said with a smile.

“I’m sorry, Clarissa, I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. Listen, Doni says there are a group of kids who play football everyday,” she paused, thinking, “I think he said they play on the empty lot, that one near the grocer’s, every evening. Would you like to try playing with them?”

I didn’t know these kids Clarissa was talking about, but there was no way I could find anyone else to play with. I answered, “I do.”

Clarissa let go of me, stood up, and said, “I’ll go ask Doni to take you to them. I think he knows some of these kids. He’ll get you a ticket in.”

Oh thank God. “Really? Is it okay?”

“What do you mean? Of course it’s okay. You just go to bed now, everything will be ready by tomorrow. Oh, I should dig up your old football cleats.”

This time, I hugged her, “Thank you Clarissa, thank you so much! You’re the best sister ever!”

She chuckled, tousled my hair, and said, “You know it. Now go to bed, you’re going to need a lot of energy for football.”

I laid on my bed. I was calm, happy to know that Clarissa and Doni would be helping me. Though I did feel like I had failed, like I shouldn’t have accepted Clarissa’s help. I hoped she wasn’t secretly disappointed. But before I could think of anything else, I fell soundly asleep.

The next morning, Clarissa kept pumping me up for the upcoming football game. She told me I had better score goals, and that if I didn’t know how, Doni would show me--Clarissa said he’s the best striker at their school. I learned from Google that ‘striker’ meant the person responsible for scoring goals, but weren’t they all supposed to do that?

As I was lost in confusion, Clarissa told me to “grab your football shoes, I put them in your room while you were sleeping.” I didn’t notice them when I woke up that morning. She continued, “And I polished them up real good, they’re basically sparkling, Jimmy. They’ll help you score goals for sure!”

I believed Clarissa. I was going to score so many goals, she wouldn’t even know how i managed to do it. Doni was going to show me some tricks too. I would learn football, and I would be really good at it. And that means I’ll be one step closer to being the best little brother Clarissa could ever ask for.

I headed to my room. I wore the long, blue football socks Clarissa had bought me last year. Then I put on the red football shoes Doni gave to me a long time ago--he called them ‘cleats.’ They weren’t the right size, and they kind of hurt to wear, but Clarissa polished them to a mirror shine. They’ll help for sure.

Doni barged into my room, asking, “You finally ready?”

“Yup,” I answered, unable to hide my excitement. Then I asked him, “Do I look cool?”

He didn’t answer me. He left the room while saying, “Hurry up, I’ll wait for you on my bike.”

I didn’t like the idea of riding on Doni’s motorcycle. He always rode fast, so much so that it felt like we were going to crash at any second. Though Clarissa always said Doni’s the best rider she’s ever known, and they had never been in an accident, so I supposed it would be safe to ride with him.

The ride to the empty lot was terrifying. I thought we would crash head on with a truck, only for Doni to swerve to the side at the last second, nearly ramming us into a sedan. But we made it.

As soon as we got off the bike, Doni started calling one of the kids--they looked younger than me, certainly skinnier--to come over. He started to talk with the boy, then paused and told me to wait by the bike.

I could only hear the last part of what they were saying. Doni said, “Can you do that for me?” and the kid answered, “Sure thing, bossman.”

Then, all of a sudden, I was dragged into the empty lot. The kid Doni had been talking to introduced himself as Rizki. He said I was playing striker today, which meant I was supposed to stand in front of the enemy’s goal and try to kick the ball in. That sounded simple, and exactly what I was hoping for. I thought this would be the perfect chance to show Clarissa that I was the best little brother.

It didn’t go well.

I was supposed to score goals. But every time I got the ball, it was always taken by someone from the enemy team. Whenever I kicked, the ball either went out or directly to the keeper. After a while, the other kids just stopped giving me the ball. Rizki then came to me and told me to switch with one of the other kids. As I walked away, I could hear him say, “The hell is wrong with Doni?”

I sat on the side of the empty lot, watching the game play out. I waited for my turn to come, but no one would switch with me. Doni came over, stood next to me and said, “Jesus, what were you doing out there?”

“I was trying to--”

“Shut up. God you were trash. It was fucking embarrassing to watch--and I told them you were good. Jesus. No wonder they subbed you,” he sounded angry.

“Subbed me?”

“They took you out of the game, dumbass. What are you doing sitting here like a moron?”

“I thought I’d get another try.”

He laughed out loud. “Try? You didn’t do shit out there, and you’re saying you tried? Don’t give me that bullshit.”

I didn’t have anything to say. I looked for words but I could find none. I couldn’t even cry. Doni was being mean, but I didn’t know why. I was confused.

“Christ,” Doni said, “let’s just go home. Oh,and you bet your ass you’re gonna get disciplined for this.” No. Please God no.

I didn’t look at the road, not at how Doni rode the bike, not at how we might have missed an accident or two. I just sat there, barely holding onto the motorcycle. My mind dwelled on what waited for me at home: Doni’s discipline, Clarissa’s disappointment, and… I stopped my thoughts there. It would be better to go through it all with my mind shut.

When we got home, Doni told me to wait outside. He said he wanted to, “have a word or two” with my sister.

I sat on the grass of our front yard. I wanted to cry, to say how sorry I was for being bad, that I had tried my best but still failed. But all I did was sit there, like a stump.

I could hear shouting come out of the house. And crying. Doni was the one doing the yelling. Was he making Clarissa cry? No. Please no.

The front door burst open, Clarissa walked as fast as she could to reach me. I looked at her, she looked at me. She said, “Stand up.” I was halfway up when she struck me down with a hard smack.

“I’m sorry,” I immediately cried out as the tears flowed through, “I’m so sorry.”

“Shut up,” she said flatly. “I heard everything. Everything! You weren’t even trying out there! What good was buying those socks, huh? And those shoes? I spent hours, Jim! Hours polishing them! What was the point, huh, Jim? Tell me.”

I looked away, anywhere except her eyes. I could only say, “I’m sorry. So sorry. Please forgive me. I’ll be better. I promise.”

“You promise? What good is a liar’s promise? It’s good for nothing, Jim.”

“But--”

She wasn’t listening to me. “Doni and I wanted you to play outside because we know it would be good for you. It would build character, make you strong and healthy. But you don’t even care about that, do you?”

“I wanted to--”

“You don’t even care about me! Your sister!” she shouted, pointing at her face. I saw then, through my tears, how her eyes had been bruised, how her cheeks had swollen. Did Doni do that?

“So you know what? I’ll make you care about playing outside! I’ll make sure you play outside!” she stopped shouting, and whispered in my ear, “Say goodbye to your PlayStation, to your damn games,” she said calmly.

“No, please, I--”

“I already told you to shut up!” she smacked me again. “Doni said they have to go. And you know what? I agree with him.”

I was on my side, lying on the ground. I wept, dug my fingers into the dirt and screamed.

Clarissa left me, she said, “Boys don’t cry,” as she entered the house and shut the door.

I waited for the door to open, but it didn’t. I sat on the grass, hugging my knees. I rocked my body back and forth, slowly, mumbling “This can’t be happening,” again and again, as if it would change anything. But it didn’t.

When the door opened, I saw Clarissa carrying my PlayStation, and a small box filled with my games. I just sat, not knowing what to do.

I watched as she threw the PlayStation and the games into the trash can. There they were. And no matter what I did, they will never come out again.

Clarissa stood by the trash can, and for the first time I’ve ever seen, pulled a cigarette out of her skirt pocket and lit it. She smoked, puff after puff, as if she breathed tobacco. She rubbed her face and touched her eye lightly. Then she knelt down and cried without a sound.

Then it started to rain a little and the raindrops mixed with Clarissa’s tears. Clarissa did not stop kneeling, did not move except to light another cigarette, and another, and another, until the pack in her pocket was empty. She was soaking wet, and so was I. But it seemed neither of us minded the raindrops.

When the last of Clarissa’s cigarettes went out, she stood up and walked toward me. She approached me, knelt and tousled my hair. She and I wore masks at that moment, as our faces showed nothing but emptiness. Then Clarissa hugged me, almost suffocating me, and said with a trembling voice, “C’mon, let’s go inside. Take a shower and go to bed. This has been a long day. For both of us.”

The only thing that came to my mind was, “Yes. Okay.”

I showered and headed to bed. But that night, I did not sleep. I had been a bad little brother. But I had turned into something worse. Far worse. I was someone who got Clarissa hurt. Someone who made Clarissa cry. My sister. The best sister in the world. And I let these horrible things happen to her. But it looked like I had ran out of tears, and after hours of lying down, unmoving, I still could not cry. When dawn approached, I had a thought.

I wondered if mom and dad would like me. They had not seen me for a long time, so I couldn’t really make a guess. But maybe I should go to them. Maybe they’ll like me. Maybe if I couldn’t be the best little brother, I could still be the best son. Maybe I wouldn’t be a problem for them, as I was for Clarissa.

I was scared though. Mom and dad were far away. Clarissa told me one day I’d see them, but not for many, many years. But I knew how to see them right there and then. I had watched a scene on TV, once, where a woman slit her own wrists. I asked Clarissa why she did that, and Clarissa answered, “To go to heaven.” I guessed that was what I was supposed to do.

I walked to the kitchen, quietly so that no one would wake up. I picked up the knife and sliced my wrists. The blood was pouring out. A lot of them came out. But it didn’t hurt.

I felt my body going cold. I felt my strength slowly fading away. Then I saw nothing. In my mind, I thought, “Mom, dad, I hope you’ll like me. I’ll be the best son ever. I promise.”

#short story #fiction #drama #family #love #brother #sister #sibling #conflict #abuse #violence #tragedy

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thedupshadove · 5 years

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G-d of My Father’s

Summary: An interesting fact about Newton Pulsifer comes further to light. Newt, as usual, frets.

Author’s Note: This was sort of written to be set within @jewish-kulindadromeus “HaSofer”, but I’m over-eager, which means that only Chapter One of that fic is actually up as I write this, which means that further chapters of that fic may render this one incompatible with it, which is fine as that author is within her rights to write whatever kind of story she wants, seeing how we’re not actually working together.

“Say,” said Crowley after the sixth time Newt overheard him giving Aziraphale some Judaism 101 lesson and interjected with a helpful clarification, extra information, or his own view on things only to hastily shut himself up, “how come you know all this? I remember asking you if you were Jewish and you said no.” In fact Newt had looked at the ceiling, stammered a bit, pulled his mouth into a thin Muppety line, rubbed the back of his neck, and then said no, but Crowley hadn’t given that much thought at the time, since that was barely more awkwardness than Newt tended to display when asked to make a definitive statement on anything. “What, did an old girlfriend teach you?”

“His current girlfriend could have taught him.” said Anathema pointedly, walking into the room. “Although I suppose if that were it he’d wax fondly about boyoz instead of babka.”

“No,” Newt finally forced out after exhaling the breath he’d been holding in since Crowley had started addressing him. “No, it…it wasn’t any girlfriend. It was, er, well it’s all stuff I picked up from my father’s old synagogue.”

“Uh-huh.” said Crowley in a much-is-becoming-clear-to-me voice. “Your father’s old synagogue. Your mother, I take it, not having one.”

“Right.”

“And may I further hazard a guess that your father, family obligations aside, is not what one would call a pious man?”

“Oh, completely non-observant. And pretty well atheist too. Since well before he met my mum, mind, so don’t go blaming her.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it” Crowley deadpanned. “So, you were dragged to the synagogue sometimes, probably mostly for b’nai mitzvahs, and couldn’t help but absorb a few things. I see.” He made as if to turn back to Aziraphale.

But Newt suddenly looked distressed and a little defensive. “Well I wouldn’t say dragged.” he protested. “I mean they didn’t have to drag me. Why would they? It was something special, something wonderful. A day to be spent surrounded by relatives, plenty of whom I didn’t see very often. Getting to see some cousin have a shining moment. Good food, good music, good conversation, us kids sneaking off to go exploring or play hide-and-seek during the reception, what wasn’t to look forward to?”

“Alright, alright, I apologize.” said Crowley, seemingly a little taken aback.

But Newt seemed now to feel that not enough had been said. “And it wasn’t just b’nai mitzvahs either. I mean there were a lot of those, but there were some weddings too, and of course a few funerals. Those obviously weren’t fun, per se, but they were…good. In a way. Like, if this relative was going to die, I’d much rather that we’d all gathered and done this funeral than if we hadn’t. When I first heard that my grandfather had died I was just…numb, and it wasn’t until we were all standing around the grave and it was my turn to shovel in some dirt that I think it really hit home. And that was a good situation to have that happen in, I think. And we would go to the Seders at my aunt’s house pretty regularly.”

That made sense, Crowley reflected. If there was any one holiday that even the most secular Jew might go home for, it would be Passover, being not only very major and important but also placing such an emphasis on family and gathering and togetherness. And food and drink and storytelling and, if you do it right, laughter.

“I even…” some of Newt’s natural state of embarrassment seemed to have caught up with him again, but he soldiered on, powered by some inner spring of…something that needed to get out. “I even did the Four Questions a couple of times, until the cousins younger than me started getting old enough to take their turns doing it. But I remember my Dad teaching me how in the weeks before the holiday. Took me forever to get it right: I kept forgetting myself and using a soft ‘ch’.

“And sometimes Dad and I would just…talk about it. I mean, he didn’t keep any of the practices or rituals anymore except at family things, but I never got the impression that he, you know, really hated it now or anything. I would want to know something about what’s this holiday or why that rule or how come this is kosher but that isn’t, and he would tell me, and he never seemed to mind. Even seemed to kind of enjoy it. Not, I figure, from belief surging anew but,” Newt shrugged, “nostalgia, you know. And often that question led to other questions, and discussions, and sort of…arguments but without anger. I remember one time, after he’d got done explaining that ‘animals that walked on the ground’ had to have the right kind of hooves and the right kind of chewing habits, but any kind of bird was okay, I pointed out that perhaps our ancestors had not made a close examination of the usual behavior of the average chicken, and he,” Newt made an upward striking motion with his hand.

“He hit you?” Aziraphale gasped, shocked both at the sudden turn of the story and the fact that Newt’s tone hadn’t changed with it.

“What? No, no, no.” Newt said hastily, realizing his failure of communication. “He pantomimed dope-slapping me, but he didn’t actually make contact, and he was smiling. Smiling like he would sometimes when we had those talks. Like I was the biggest little smart-arse he’d ever met, and he loved me for it.” Newt was smiling too, now, bathed in his own nostalgic glow.

“Did he ever start one of these talks?” asked Crowley.

“Not often, no. The only times I can think of when he did were when they tried to teach us something about Judaism in school, and I’d come home and tell him about it, and it turned out school had got it wrong, or not given the whole picture.”

“So you grew up with Jewish family, going to Jewish events, celebrating (some) Jewish holidays, and getting a Jewish education at home pretty much for the asking.” Crowley clarified.

“That’s about the size of it, yeah.”

“But you’re not Jewish.”

“Well I’m not, am I?” Newt shrugged in agitation. “There’s a set of criteria, and I fall outside it.”

“Love,” said Anathema gently, “There’s been a lot of talk lately about reconsidering how strictly the matriliniality rule needs to be adhered to…”

“Yes, yes, I know about that. And it would be one thing if my immediate family really practiced Judaism regularly, or if I’d been bar mitzvahed myself, or anything like that, but we didn’t, and I wasn’t, so I’m not.”

“Well, that must be a relief then.” said Crowley, in a tone that could have pickled meat.

Newt stared at him. “What?”

“To have that escape clause.” he went on nastily. “I can understand why you would want it. Historically speaking, being Jewish has rarely been easy. Why be part of a weird minority if you don’t have to? So yes, you just go ahead and lean on that mother of yours. No one would blame you for pushing the…oddities of your heritage and past under the rug. No, don’t worry; you don’t have to be Jewish if you don’t want to be.”

Newt stood slack-jawed for a moment, then exploded. “Don’t say that, how dare you say that?” he demanded, with far more heat than it probably should have been safe to direct at a being like Crowley. “Haven’t you been listening? The times I spent…” he fumbled for words “…in Judaism have consistently been some of the happiest of my life. Laughter and connection and this…this feeling that I never got anywhere else. A feeling of warmth, of rightness. It was almost like believing in something. Not in G-d, maybe, but sometimes, even if it got more fleeting and less strong as I grew older and started to really understand the kind of half-breed hanger-on I was, sometimes, I believed that I belonged.

“And as to your veiled references to the fluctuating but ever-present antisemitism or just simple ignorance of mainstream society, trust me, I know. When I was younger it was listening to a classmate confidently explain to her friends that Jews weren’t allowed to eat leavened bread at all, ever, and not having the courage to interrupt the conversation and correct her, and more recently, it’s been these three co-workers at United Holdings who I can only assume think they’re funny. Or possibly they think that they can get away with it if they pretend to think they’re funny, which, to be fair, so far they have. But I get to listen to them gathered around the water cooler across from my cubicle making Lynch-The-Black jokes and Gas-The-Jew jokes, and they both make me angry, but the second category undeniably hits a deeper, more personal well of anger than the first.”

Here he paused. “I’m not…proud of that, by the way. It would almost certainly be better if every cruel or bigoted joke I heard hit me just as hard as the ones that make me picture my father and my aunt and my closest cousin and my new little second cousin being dispassionately yet hatefully murdered. But that’s not how my mind works. I would even hazard to say that it’s not how most people’s minds work.”

Crowley, who had withstood the storm with equanimity, leaned in closer and raised his voice a hair. “So are you Jewish or aren’t you?”

“I-DON’T-KNOW!”

“Because it seems to me that your position right now is that people who tell you that you’re Jewish are wrong, and people who tell you that you’re not Jewish…are wrong.”

“Well…maybe! Maybe they are both wrong!”

Crowley’s voice gentled a little. “Then what’s right?”

Newt sighed and deflated. “What’s right is…that I can’t say I’m Jewish. But I’m definitely not not Jewish. And sometimes I feel closer to it than other times. And sometimes I can manage to be sort of okay with this ebb-and-flow relationship, and then sometimes I want to be really Jewish so badly my teeth hurt.”

For a moment, Crowley looked distinctly like he’d just gotten exactly what he was looking for. “Then why don’t you do something about that?”

Newt blushed again. “Because…because I never know where to start. Because even if I knew enough to just jump in and start doing more, it would feel wrong of me to decide that I was allowed to do so. But trying official conversion, and having to explain my particular position to a Rabbi, always seemed to promise its own stew of awkwardness. So I’ve just…sat with this uncertainty. For years.”

Aziraphale glanced at Crowley, and an awful lot seemed to pass between them in quite a short time. “I think,” the Angel then said, “that I should quite like to have a classmate. Someone to collaborate with on homework. Someone to gang up on the teacher with, if need be.”– Crowley put his hand to his forehead in mock horror– “An extra brain to keep things interesting. If you think you can stand to bring yourself down to my level–”

“Oh, there’s loads I don’t know.” Newt interjected. “My ‘Jewish education’, such as it was, was incredibly piecemeal and haphazard, really just getting answers to questions I happened to think to ask. I’m sure that plenty of the basics will be new to me. Heck, you’re an immortal angel; you probably know a lot of things that I don’t.”

“Then we’ll make perfect complementary students, won’t we? Will you join us?”

And so, shaking almost imperceptibly, Newt sat down.

#good omens #good omens 2019 #good omens is jewish and so am i #newton pulsifer #Anthony Crowley #anathema device #Aziraphale

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thesagedahlia · 4 years

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💦Rihanna + ASAP Rocky💦

Now...when the rumors came out....did EYE think Rihanna & ASAP Rocky are dating? Of course not. For two reasons; Rihanna (aside from the fact that she's in her bag & is not worried about no niggas rn) is not interested in playing games with 'boys', & ASAP Rocky (aside from the fact that he is a freakity freak), is not is STILL not in a place where he wants to really settle down. Mind you, per my personal opinion, this is where I feel these individuals are at in their lives/careers rn. Not to say that they aren't friends or what have you, but those two feelings alone made me say "pffft, Rih is not dating no damn ASAP. That's her homie." But you know, I had to come through & see if I was gonna debunk some things, & no sooner was I in disbelief about what I've read. Some things I expected, others I was a little surprised & sipped my tea. To put it plainly, it was an interesting read, & I respect their relationship, even with the hurt....lemme not spoil it.

**DISCLAIMER**

I am not declaring, nor am I insinuating, that anything I say in my predictions are true accounts of any of the parties involved. This reading is for entertainment purposes only, & should only taken as such. All in good fun, folks 🤷🏾‍♀️🧿

💦Energy surrounding the relationship?💦

It doesn't feel like much emotional connection is there & I feel like Rihanna has made up her mind when it comes to ASAP. Rihanna can see the type of game he plays with women even though there is a connection between them. She feels the Union will lead to destruction, & dealing with ASAP is not a smart conscious move on her part, I see him dealing with other women & secrets, & Rihanna would rather pass on that; she feels failure is the inevitable outcome of be really dated. I feel ASAP has expressed his passions & he has already tried his hand at her, but it feels less recent, like when they first became friends. It never happened then because he wasn't stable or the type to be stable within a relationship, same rules apply here. They even separated because there was conflicting factors about him & his dating life that she didn't care for or trust. I'm actually getting the impression that they DID try at one point, privately, but ASAP was messing with other hose & I feel it put a strain on their friendship, where I think they weren't speaking for some time. It's also an energy of being better off friends & not revisiting such a circumstance. I feel like dealing with him was a hindrance on her intuition & growth, & something that really took a toll on her emotionally. With that being said, that isn't to say that they never hook up from time to time, however their relationship doesn't feel very active right now.

💦Rihanna's feelings toward ASAP?💦

She feels ASAP, in a way, create situations of confusion for a woman, that just causes trouble in the end. He hangs with the type of crowd that wouldn't promote a faithful attitude, & his lifestyle include groupies. I feel like they have come to a peaceful resolution after having dealt with each other before, & they have actually been estranged from one another for some time. She is well aware that he is not in a stable place emotionally, so she knows better not to deal with him on that level. She has been very vocal that she would rather remain friends, to avoid ruining their connection any further. The stability within their friendship really took a hit, & it was actually something that made her mad or pissed off. I don't think the situation is properly confronted or addressed, but it feels like trying to be socially & publicly cordial, without opening up a can of worms. I don't think she ever got clarity from him & she would rather not take it there; the lack of accountability turns her off as well.

💦ASAP's feelings toward Rihanna?💦

So, ASAP seem to have a fear of committing to her, which caused him to have act out in a deceptive way ( i.e. infidelity). His unwillingness to be honest & need for control over relationship is what was his downfall & a woman like Rihanna is intimidating to him. It feels as if he wants to heal the situation with her, regarding whatever happened between them. I feel him wanting to come clean & be honest about the past, but I feel hesitation. He feels as though their friendship is strained, & he feels he suffers for his past mistakes with her. I feel a lot of hesitation when it comes as little as taking accountability. I also feel it is what it is, & that it is just an imbalance/incompatibility. I feel he will only continue to be to defensive & has yet to allow himself to take responsibility.

💦Are they dating/will they ever date?💦

Short answer; no & no. Like I said before, there was already a trial-and-error in the past, & Rihanna isn't going to waste her time again. Financially, she doesn't feel like it is a good move to try & deal with such a distraction to her. The friendship is there, whenever someone wants to reach out, but they seem to be on opposite ends of the spectrum. They were a very passionate pair, but ASAP has a 'dangerous sex drive' that can get him in some trouble with his relationships, Rihanna is hip to this. She doesn't know about things be from before, but she knows that he was 'being a thot', for lack of a better term. She wouldn't let it happen either, however, if she is clear about the past discretions. She's waiting on that clarity because she feels lied to, before she'd ever take ASAP serious again.

💦BONUS QUESTION💦

💦Are ASAP & Rih 'friends with benefits'?💦

I don't think they are as much, but they definitely used to be. But I feel like it wasn't conducive for Rihanna because she would be the only one feeling a way afterward, whereas ASAP definitely wasn't too bothered. Rihanna is aware of ASAP 'lifestyle' & she isn't going to get a stable situation with him I feel like it would be times where it happens & it isn't planned, like afterparties, etc, but it doesn't lead to anything for the long term. I don't think Rihanna feels it's in her best interest to allow it.

Long Live ASAP Rih 🖤

#celebrity readings #hollyweird #tarot readings #sage speaks #divination #readings by sage #sage reads #ask sage #celebrity culture #celebrities #celeb news #celebrity #celebs #celebrity psychic readings #celebrity predictions #hollywood #rihanna #asap rocky

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snkpolls · 5 years

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SnK Chapter 116 Poll Results

The chapter poll closed with 1,671 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,533 responses

The chapter overall had positive reviews, with only 19 respondents leaning toward disliking the chapter. Will Isayama be able to keep up this momentum with the rising action?

Amazing as always. Definitely I always get surprised by Isayama each chapter, you never know what can happened in the next chapter, and i love that. Thank you Isayama

It was amazing. Can't wait to see how things will play out

Felt short, little content. I'm happy Porco can be seen when Pieck says "hey there", nice touch

I don't understand how some people thought this chapter was boring. I found it to be the most entertaining one in ages! Hyyyype. Also yay Colt!

I'm glad it looks like we'll get a bit of a break from the political conspiracies and constant double crossing. This is not the kind of stuff I started reading this manga for.

Pretty good chapter with a lot of characters stepping up imo. It's getting pretty tense and I was hoping for more information regarding Ymir or more of Zeke but reasonably this chapter was necessary.

FAVORITE MOMENT FROM THE CHAPTER

1,634 responses

This chapter had no shortage of excitement, and we nearly had a three-way tie for the favorite moment of the chapter. For 14.7%, Eren coldly calling Pieck’s bluff was chilling enough to be their favorite moment. In contrast, 14.6% most enjoyed Pieck’s betrayal as she turned to name Eren her enemy. Despite Porco’s failure to incapacitate Eren, 14.1% still loved the Jaw Titan’s surprise attack! He tried!

Nice to see Eren playing 4D Chess with Pieck. I loved Pieck's "Please take care of me!" as she went up the stairs! And Yelena standing up for Sasha was a great moment in my book too - a bit extreme like, but that's Yelena's style though! Eren at the end returning to his old self - angry and legless - was my favourite moment though!

my favorite moment was jean, just jean, jean all the time but that wasn't an option :(

Reiner finally showing his beautiful face again is the best, one can only hope that we get Annie soon.

This chapter was amazing and really set the tone for the upcoming battle. That last page with Reiner looking down at Eren was my fav moment.

WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER’S MVP? 1,627 responses

This wasn’t much of a competition - with Pieck taking the MVP title for Chapter 116 with more than half (56.2%) of respondents thinking her actions were exactly right (as expected). We had a close race for second place, with Jean (17%) taking a slight lead over our problematic protagonist (15.4%).

I never really got invested much in the new Marley characters, but god damn if I don’t love Pieck more after every chapter. I mean the pointing thing? That was SICK

I liked Nicolo's defending of Sasha and it hurt to see her family forced to listen to that guy degrading her. And because of his feelings for her and for eldians, I chose him as the MVP for now :)

Grior. He showed us how deeply Nicolo felt about Sasha, he created a scene where Jean got to show his worth, and he opened the door to everyone seeing exactly how creepy Yelena is. He made EVERYONE (besides Yelena) look good. :D

ERENS ABS

YOUR FEELINGS ON PIECK GIVING GABI A DOSE OF REALITY? 1,578 responses

The vast majority are happy to see someone from Gabi’s side of the war finally tell her the reality of their situation. 12% of respondents don’t think it will ultimately matter as Gabi is too stubborn to change her views. A smaller portion feel that Pieck doesn’t actually believe what she’s saying to Gabi at all.

Gabi is easily the character whose future development I look forward to the most.

I feel like Gabi needs to listen but Pieck here really means there's another method on the way; the rest is just her LARPing as a restorationist to gain Eren's trust, just as Armin did with Annie in the past.

Gabi's already gotten so many doses of reality that have done nothing. I honestly don't feel anything about these moments at this point.

Pieck isn't entirely lying here. She believes that eldians should fight for themselves and is using Marley to get what she wants. Good on her for calling out Gabi's blind devotion to Marley! Stupid child.

Pieck is showing her true thoughts but won't act on them, because she won't betray Marley and everyone she knows.

Gabi truly believes that all the Warriors are doing what they do in the name of Marely, Zeke turned his back on Marley to accomplish his ultimate goal and Pieck revealed that she doesn't trust them at all. Gabi may understand that simply being an honorary Marleyian isn't why the Warriors fight for Marley, they simply fight for themselves, even if it does help Marley to an extent.

I'm more interested in what it means for Pieck's viewpoint tbh. She says this, and is clearly smart enough to know this to be true, and yet is still apparently fighting for Marley. I'm very interested to see whether she actually has any ideas on how to win Eldian freedom after the Paradis battle.

Pieck was telling half-truths to Gabi, she knows about the danger of the Eldians being obsolete but Eren is not the answer for the survival of her people in the mainland.

WHICH MEMBER OF THE 104TH DO YOU MOST AGREE WITH ABOUT EREN’S ACTIONS? 1,582 responses

70% of respondents feel similarly to Jean, believing that Eren wouldn’t do everything he’s done without a good reason for it. 21% feel similarly to Armin, just wishing to understand Eren’s actions and why. A smaller percentage feel similarly to Connie and agree that Eren has simply become irredeemable regardless of his motivations.

I BELIEVE THERE IS A GOOD MEANING BEHIND EREN’S ACTIONS, TRUST MY WORDS

I still don't know how to feel about Eren and his plans

I really like how Jean was trying to see Eren in a different light to try to understand him and Connie's ongoing grudge against eren.

WHICH JEAN ACT SOLIDIFIED HIM AS BEST BOI? 1,582 responses

Jean provided some much-needed comfort this chapter, and 38.4% were most pleased that he decided to finally introduce some much-needed objectivity to the Eren discussion. On top of that, another 26.1% were most impressed with his ability to stay calm despite the stressful circumstances.

All of the above. Any of these moments in isolation would have been good, but it's all of them taken together that made Jean amazing this chapter.

Now our favourite Jailbirds: I'm so happy to see them after a few months. Jean continues to be the best, and my most favourite boy, I liked how rationally and objectively he viewed the situation -- and the fact that he was still vouching for Eren, and showing so much care for Mikasa made my heart flutter a lil bit.

Horse-face standing up for that suicidal bastard was the best moment in this chapter!!! Jean growing so much makes him best boi-horse ever!

He should join the yaegerists, then we can talk about best boy

Literally anything the majestic stallion does classified him as best boi. He breathes and he’s best boi.

Jean's actions in this chapter show the signs of a good leader, and I hope he is rewarded for it down the line.

getting the SOLID gift of character development that just KEEPS ON GIVING

Oh so for THIS one you ain't got 'all of the above'? WHERE IS ALL OF THE ABOVE

You utter fools, everything Jean has done since Season 1 has solidified him as best boi

MIKASA ISN’T WEARING HER SCARF. DOES THIS HAVE SIGNIFICANCE? 1,569 responses

Is it getting hot in that jail cell or did Mikasa take off her scarf for more personal reasons? Almost half of us believe this is hinting at Mikasa breaking away from Eren in some way, but more than a third think it’s just another of many instances where Mikasa has gone scarfless for practical reasons.

Isayama probs used it to sew another seed of doubt so that we'd ask this exact question.

she's sad :(

It's typical for her to take the scarf off when it's warm, so it shouldn't have any significance, however it's hard to think she would just casually remove/interact with the scarf after that conversation. I feel like Mikasa'd either keep it with her at all times, or get rid of it completely (though if it's the latter, the chapter should've focused on the absence of the scarf more). For now, the scarf situation has me really confused.

She doesn't want to think about Eren right now

She finally saw how hot Jean is. Just as everyone else in that cell. That's it.

She is Sad, not Mad at Eren

This can mean that she is still shaken up after what Eren said to her, but that doesn't mean she's sick of him. She's probably realizing that her attachment to him is not doing her any good so far.

She wants to let go

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON ONYANKOPON ALLYING WITH YELENA? 1,562 responses

The majority are still uncertain about where Onyankopon stands. Less than 1/4th of the fandom believe he’s truly on Yelena’s site. Many agree that he needed to side with Yelena at that moment regardless of what he truly believes. Nearly half the fandom (45.6%) selected “He’s been too hard to predict, I hadn’t made up my mind.”

My man is legit Yelena’s hostage. He never asked for this.

He looks very hesitant, so I am also hesitant to make a call

he’s sweating and eyeing yelena like he’s worried so he is just playing along with. i think he’ll go free the 104th during the commotion!

At the very least, he and Yelena are not on the same page. In a way, they've been foils since their introduction: from the way they interact with the Survey Corps, the ways they assisted in Liberio, to their stance on God. I've always loved their dynamic, and I definitely look forward to more of these two in the future!

Great way for Yams to maintain tension in the storyline. It doesn't really matter what he chooses, but he works great as a character to bounce concepts off of.

He is on Yelena's side for now. You can tell that the guilt is weighing on him.

He's just here until the next Star Wars movie

ON A SCALE OF 1-5 HOW BADLY DID YOU WANT TO PUNCH GRIOR? (1: HE WAS IN THE RIGHT SOMEHOW; 5: I’VE NEVER ROOTED HARDER FOR YELENA.) 1,574 responses

Perhaps the most interesting thing in this result is that 51 people in our fandom don’t want to punch Grior. The vast majority (72.2%) selected the highest choice, “I’ve never rooted harder for Yelena”

She's nuts but she's fun and gets props for shooting Grior.

Jheez the disrespect coming from Grior. Connie and Nicolo were rightfully fuming. Yelena putting a hole in his head has been the best thing she’s done in the whole story.

Fuck Grior

I wasn't a fan of Grior, but shooting him was an overkill. Yelena did it in front of the kids no less.

WHAT ARE YOUR CURRENT FEELINGS ON YELENA? 1,576 responses

“Crazy” was the most common reaction with nearly half the fandom (41.9%) selecting that option.

Although she's 'cray cray', I would feel bad for her and Zeke if they find out that Eren is using both of them. I'm staying neutral to her.

I hate fanatics. I hope Zeke steps on her and we never see her again.

I love Yelena. Truly, her actions aren't that right, but everyone in this show depends on some corrupt decisions. I'm sure she has good reasons why she's that way and she shows to the 104th some of her weak as well as nice side. I think she would be a good ally for them, but we will see!

She's very interesting, although her motivations are indeed 'crazy' (not normal admiration for the Yeager brothers), her actions stay logical and reasonable considering her goal.

First she kills people in ruthless way and few minutes later she is crying and tells others about Yeager bros being gods. Yet, I have to admit that she is a good character.

She’s an interesting combination of things tenacious, devoted and cunning. I can’t wait to find out if what her and Zeke want is actually the same thing.

cray cray, but still, P O U N D T O W N

WHY WAS ARMIN CRYING? 1,573 responses

Another strong consensus in the poll! 65.4% selected “He realized Eren would never agree with what she said, and is still on their side”.

Armin is trying to like to gain the upper hand

he must've felt overwhelmed with something, and decided to play it to his advantage

Biggest mystery of the whole manga imo. Ymir fritz and he origins of the titans? Nah fam, I need to know why Armin crying was important enough to take up a whole pageworth of panels.

Boy tryna get tf outta here even if it means temporarily joining yelena’s wack ass cult

He just got heads-up about some harsh truth.

He was definitely faking

He's figured SOMETHING out, we don't know just yet. I'm so excited, it's been a while since we've seen his tactical cunning side!

He's obviously manipulating her. Yelena is a bit of a nut case, but she's also really passionate. Armin is using that to his advantage.

I think he's genuinely crying, but certainly not for the reason he said. As for why exactly... Not sure, it might be for a lot of things… I think he understood something about what Eren's plan might be

he could be crying from relief. he has known eren the longest, knows how much he values freedom, and knows he would never agree to euthanasia. after 112, he was really asking himself whether eren was actually on their side or not. he's definitely seeing through his mask now and realizes that he's playing zeke and his cult like a damn fiddle.

THIS MONTH SEEMS TO CONFIRM THAT EREN KNEW ABOUT THE WINE PLOT. ARE YOU SURPRISED? 1,576 responses

Ahem. The Snk Poll Team would like to remind you that we asked this question in the chapter 111 poll and at that time only 27% believed he knew about the wine. Just sayin’ :P

DO YOU THINK THAT EREN KNOWING ABOUT THE WINE HAD ANY INFLUENCE ON HIS DEFECTION? 1,556 responses

The larger half of the fandom doesn’t feel that the wine plot had anything to do with Eren taking his own actions. Still, nearly half feel it’s possible it could have influenced his decisions.

Eren is planning something

Eren is suspicious.

HOW DO YOU THINK EREN FEELS ABOUT FALCO INGESTING THE WINE? 1,580 responses

Nearly 75% of voters feel that Eren does care about Falco’s situation, but not enough to distract him from his plans. Nearly 15% feel that Eren doesn’t actually care about Falco at all, and 9% believe that he is feeling concerned for Falco.

Sympathizes with another unknowing Eldian pawn

Eren collapsed a building on Falco, like, are we forgetting this.

He thinks he cares, but has decided that the end justifies the means. How noble

I think that Eren thinks it sucks but that 'it be like that'

He’s so cray cray right now that I don’t know what to think

WHO IS THE OTHER WOMAN THAT EREN IS SAYING HE DOESN’T TRUST? 1,575 responses

Was Eren shading Yelena? 30% of the fandom seems to think so. 23% feel that he is referring to Kiyomi. 20% don’t want to make any calls yet but feel that this is something we’ll be calling back to down the road, while 10% think the rest of us are making a big deal out of a small statement. A few write-ins also listed Annie, Hange, Gabi and Historia as potential options.

He's talking about Pieck, the translation is weird.

Can we hack Eren's brain?

Have we considered Historia? I'd love for Historia to be one of the big players herself.

Either he's talking about Pieck if you take the translation as "just as she doesn't trust me" or Yelena, since he's not on board with her plan as a whole.

"That woman" is Kiyomi and she will appear like a wildcard next chapter.

I think that he means Pieck doesn't trust him either? I don't really know, the translations are so wildly different.

WHO PLAYED THE OTHER BETTER? 1,608 responses

Regardless of who wins or loses the upcoming titan battle, Pieck won the chapter with more than 75% believing she won this particular meeting of the minds.

As expected of Pieck, she's best girl (hope she won't die too soon).

Erem seemed way too easily convinced by Pieck that she would point out her colleagues. Yes he threatened her with his pricked finger, and yes he was ready to transform on the roof, but it felt like he went along with everything too quickly.

I love pieck and eren and I didn't know I needed them to meet until now!

I was super worried that Pieck wouldn’t be given any spotlight and would stay in the background forever. Now all I need is her last name and I will die happy.

PORCO FAILED TO EAT EREN AGAIN. WILL HE EVER GET HIS MOMENT OF GLORY? 1,571 responses

Sorry Porco. Most (73.1%) of us have no confidence in you. But look on the bright side - 17.1% think that maybe you can be redeemed. Oof.

Coming up through the roof *was* his moment of glory. It's all downhill from there.

His moment of glory was getting to see ymir's gorgeous face four years back

I believe that his mission was about injuring Eren, not eating him. I hope he will have his own five minutes because he is strong as a titan and knows very well how to use his powers.

Eating Erens legs off is pretty impressive on its own right tbh

Eren is gonna eat him before he gets another chance to do something impactful

He'll be forever a failure but I still love him very much! He's trying his best!!

WHAT WAS THE GRIMMEST GRIM REMINDER? 1,577 responses

The opening scene, and one of the most iconic, has had several imitations since. The slight overall majority, at 51% think that Eren turning the tables and being the one to deliver the grim reminder in chapter 100 was the grimmest. 33.5% of you prefer the classic scene that started it all. 9.2% thought that this chapter offered the grimmest circumstance, with Marley’s blimps appearing overhead.

The grimest reminder was chapter 84 for the simple reason that heroes of the story showed the worst side of humanity and ever since then I think they don't deserve happy ending.

THOSE BLIMPS HAVE MOUNTED MACHINE GUNS

It’s so cool that we get to see another grim reminder, again, so soon, as to ensure that it has little emotional impact!

WHICH MARLEY CHARACTER WERE YOU MOST EXCITED TO SEE RETURN THIS CHAPTER? 1,564 responses

There was some genuine excitement at seeing Reiner’s return to Paradis. Of the Marley cast, 84% where most excited to see him.

Why you gotta be assuming people are unanimously excited for Marley characters to return? I literally could have gone this entire series without any of them.

ITS BEEN SO LONG MY SON IS BACK i missed you reiner youre doing amazing sweetie pls dont die @_@

BEST BOY REINER IS BACK AND READY TO KICK ASS

My ovaries exploded when Reiner showed up looking badass with those swimming goggles. I missed my best baby boy so much.

REINER VS EREN ROUND 4 BABY!!! hopefully reiner can win! he deserves to win a fight with eren once at least lol

I was so happy to see Reiner again. It's so ironic of Isayama, that Reiner looks like a hero in this panel and Eren as the bad guy.

cOLT STILL EXISTS BOIS YEE HAW

REINER, MAGATH, AND COLT ARE ALL WEARING PARACHUTES. WHO (IF ANY) WILL BE GOING SKYDIVING? 1,566 responses

In chapter 92 we saw Reiner join his comrades by jumping out of a blimp; will he do it again? And if so, who will join him? The general consensus, at 92.8% think Reiner will be skydiving once more; and about half at 52.2% think Colt will join him this time. 36.6% of you think Magath will as well, with 73.4% feeling he’ll likely command from the skies. 2.8% of you think no one will be leaving the blimp anytime soon.

Reiner again! I still fear that Colt will end like Farlan, but it's just me.

I freakin' wish Pixis weren't in jail. I'd love to see him and Magath match wits while commanding large forces.

Colt is allowed to exist dammit

I think Marley is going for the same tactic they used in Slava: sending in Pieck and Porco on the ground, then deploy Reiner via parachute. Zeke will also show up last this time and fire on enemy ships, the difference being that the enemy isn’t marley and the ships are airborne.

I didn’t realize Colt was even in this chapter until I filled out this survey

WILL EREN USE THE WAR HAMMER POWERS IN THE UPCOMING BRAWL? 1,575 responses

With Eren recently acquiring the unique and awesome war hammer abilities, many of us are waiting with bated breath to see him show them off. 87.5% think that Eren will utilize them in the battle, and 8.3% think he already has. While his titan form doesn’t seem radically different yet, it seems to have formed in the style Lady Tybur’s did. Only 4.2% don’t believe Eren will break out these powers.

Disappointed that Isayama didn't give Eren's titan form a redesign after eating the Warhammer Titan. Hopefully we'll be able to see how Eren's going to utilize its power in the next chapter.

Marley came prepared to deal with the Founding+Attack+Warhammer Titan. If he's overwhelmed, he may get desperate and who knows what could happen then.

I thought Eren easily fell into a trap, and I don't see why he can't easily take down the blimps with his Warhammer power.

After that Awesome entrance I really wanna see warriors kicking his Eldian ass, but I just somehow know that Eren Warhammer will wreck them.

i'm really hoping to see some badass war hammer action

i am ready for the war hammer boy

THE LAST TIME EREN FACED THAT WARRIORS HE HAD THE SUPPORT OF THE SURVEY CORPS. THIS TIME HE IS ALONE. DO YOU THINK THAT WILL AFFECT THE OUTCOME? 1,615 responses

The results here are relatively divided. Nearly 40% of the fandom believe that Eren’s going to be able to handle himself in this battle without the help of the Survey Corps. 23% are certain that he will be defeated. 30% feel it could go either way and don’t want to make a solid prediction.

Eren will struggle but ultimately not be taken captive

He is totally going to get kidnapped😆

They will help him anyways. They need to protect their home, and without Eren it's impossible

Eren's fine. He's been able to predict and deal with everything up to this point. If he knew there were already spies on Paradis, he could've predicted the invasion. Might be too much credit, but he might've even used Pieck's arrival as the opportunity to lure everyone out.

With the help of Zeke and the Yeagerists I believe he’ll be able to hold his own

I sure hope so. He better fail. And he SC better only reluctantly help him they have to; ends don't justify means Eren. You made your bed, you gotta lie in it.

He has the support of the Yaeger faction, Eren has shown massive improvement with his fighting ability in titan form in Marley, and with the power of the Warhammer he can only improve.

He will not be able to overcome them on his own BUT WITH THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP will win out once Armin convinces everyone of the truth

Last time he didn’t have the Warhammer’s abilities, now he does. He also has the Yeagerist faction with him. I say he takes it.

We've never seen Eren in a fight where he was completely on his own. He always relied on an assist from either the Survey Corps or an Ackerman. It's going to be really, really interesting to see how he does without his cheat codes.

WHO ELSE WILL JOIN THE FRAY FOR THIS FIGHT? (CHECK ALL THAT APPLY) 1,488 responses

Another battle finally erupts! What other challengers will approach? Zeke is the most popular option at 68.7%. Armin, Mikasa, and Jean all had about half the fandom voting for them, and Connie and Floch just below that, but still popular choices. About 90% of you think Levi and Hange will sit this one out whilst on their own little adventure.

I suspect that Zeke will show up with the Yeagerists in time to save his younger brother.

If Zeke should appear, then the battle is almost certainly lost to Marley.

Zeke will probably show up at that moment so he can save Eren just as he claimed he would long ago. His promise to Eren was even brought up Pieck this chapter, who we know is exactly right!

Reiner is going to get SO depressed when Armin transforms into the Colossal. Also not a big fan of Annie but she needs to get out now.

Now Eren is facing the strong enemies alone. I would like to see how he can handle them, that why I hope that Zeke and SC won't join. I want Reiner to win at least once.

Floch and co. will come to the rescue after Eren starts losing

I'm sorry but ew who wants to see Floch?

Floch needs to make an appearance I wanna see the rest of the 104th rip him a new ass hole tbh

Floch is best boy

I just really wanna see all titans fighting each other. Just Imagine how Eren is standing there with Zeke like : Hey We just won and then Eren is kicked from behind by Annie and then Levi show up + Armin (and others) gets out of prison and transform to fight Eren.

I know I've said that I hoped Hanji and Levi stay away from this war as long as they can but LORD please tell me how they've been currently.

WHO AMONG THE SC, IF ANY, DO YOU THINK WILL EVENTUALLY CHOOSE TO SIDE WITH EREN? 1,519 responses

Has Eren burned every bridge? The majority, at about 55% think both Armin and Jean will still end up siding with him. Just below that, 47.7% think Mikasa will continue to support him. 28.9% think everyone listed will oppose joining up with him.

Eren alienated Mikasa and Armin so i think they won't join, but they can't abandon him either.

I bet Eren broke ties with Armin and Mikasa so that they wouldn't get involved in this fight, because he's seen a scenario where they die here.

It's hard to tell because Eren's "side" is still quite a mystery. If he truly believe in the euthanasia plan then I doubt anyone in the SC will join him, even Mikasa. But if it turns out his plan is something else we don’t know, then they might help him in the end. Most likely Armin and Jean. But I doubt any of the SC joins the Euthanasia side, now we just need to find out if that's actually Eren's side.

Mikasa believes that the Eren now isn't the Eren she knew back when he saved her

I think it would be interesting for at least one warrior to join forces with him.

IS THIS THE FINAL BATTLE? 1,570 responses

The warriors have returned to Paradis Island on the offensive! Will this be the final conflict in the manga, or is there more to come? 78% of you feel there will be another fight after this one; while 22% think we’re in the endgame with this brawl.

I'm concerned that if this does turn out to be the final battle many important characters like Levi, Hange, Historia and Annie will not be involved.

I think this is the start of the final fight but depending on how you look at it the fight may pause and continue on elsewhere, but this is for sure the final conflict I think

The chapter is a kickstart to the final climax of the manga, and I'm excited to see how the end turns out.

I hope this isn't the final battle, if so, I hope its very long

The final battle will end up decimating the entire island. No one will survive.

I really like that Pieck was pointing her finger at Eren, as he asked on the rooftop where the enemy is and she said 'there'. I'm wondering if this has a special meaning that Isayama will turn Eren into the last 'antagonist' for his final arc. Maybe the last fight, includes the whole world vs. Eren, but who knows?

This chapter was great! i thought pieck will side with eren and others but nope. Also hyped for final battle!

I hope it isn’t the final battle. I’m so confused by everything happening.

HOW HAS YOUR OPINION ON THE FOLLOWING CHARACTERS CHANGED?

The biggest winners this month were unsurprisingly Jean and Pieck, with huge upswings in popularity. On the other end, Onyankopon, Yelena and even poor Connie took a hit. It seems Connie’s distrust of Eren might have upset a few people.

I don’t know who in the SC will side with Eren but I am almost completely sure Connie won’t.

I'm glad we got to see more of pieck! best girl snapped on this chapter. She was playing it safe and smart with the things she was saying to both Eren and Gabi.

Could someone please punch eren in the face

Honestly feels like Onyankopon is just a side character that won't affect the plot much at all and therefor is pretty much irrelevant.

Also, WTF are you doing, Onyankopon?

Can't say I was surprised about how things unfolded. The SC are still in jail, at this point it's laughable. Pieck and Marley attack - who didn't see it coming? Onyankopon is still shady. Yelena is still cray cray. Eren is still acting like a heartless asshole. Gabi is beyond redemption, she would have shot Pieck if she hadn't been stopped. So nothing much was new :D

Still tryin to figure out what's the point of Gabi in this story.

AT THIS POINT, AROUND WHICH CHAPTER DO YOU EXPECT THE MANGA WILL CONCLUDE? 1,561 responses

Just like last time, most respondents (37.5%) believe that Chapter 130 is most likely to be the final chapter of the manga. 85% think that the manga will go until at least 130, and 48% think it will go until at least 134. With the recent announcement that the manga will continue for another 1-2 years, it’s looking like we won’t be getting a conclusion before Chapter 128 (or 130 if we are going by volume-ending chapters and chapters per volume remains the same).

WHO DO YOU MOST HOPE TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,554 responses

We may or may not have forgotten to include Annie on this list, but aside from that, people seem overall most anxious to get an update on Levi’s condition, as well as see Historia (presumably doing something other than sitting in the rocking chair). Floch… sorry, dude.

Annie wake up and kick some people in the head.

Can we get some annie or is she just like the basement we'll never get?

PLEASE JUST SHOW ME HISTORIA, WHERE IS SHE

I just want to see Bertoto at some point again :(

I still curious with Levi's and Hange's condition after Hange throws herself to the river.

I wonder how many more angles can we view Historia from that rocking chair.

WHERE DO YOU NORMALLY DISCUSS THE SERIES?

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER?

Porco and Pieck look good in Paradise Military coats...

It would make the most sense for Eren to lose this upcoming fight because he abandoned his friends, while the opposing side is united because of their friendship (if we're speaking in narrative terms). But we still don't know what his thoughts are, how much he knows, what his plans are, or his reasoning for anything. How can he be the main antagonist of this fight if we don't know this much? Idk but I hope we'll get some clarification during the fight (but I doubt it)

Will Reiner overcome his sufferboi status to finally do something right for himself? That's what I want to see.

I want to know if they have Hot Chocolate in the cell or some coffee. Why only tea? What is Eren planning withholding the coffee?

Armin's ability to manipulate has levelled up so much! He might be overplaying it a little bit with the tears, but considering previously he was really bad at making the emotions on his face reflect what he was saying, he's getting better at it. It both excites and saddens me. Excites because it makes him all the more dangerous; saddens because my greatest wish for Armin is that he needn't know these skills at all. Just let him be free and travel and see cool things! He deserves it.

What a ride! And what a turn-around. I love how the narration has come around to Eren being the villain, and Pieck and Reiner being the heroes. I also can't wait to see Eren get his ass stomped.

I'm so happy that it looks like the remains of the 104th might actually do something soon.

The direction the manga is going it’s fucked up. I think the manga has lost that sparkle that once had. Basically at this point everybody is waiting just to see who makes it out alive and lives to tell the tale.

Eren is finished. Maybe imprisoning your best soldiers, crippling your strongest trump card, having Zeke titanize a bunch of Scouts, and generally wreaking havoc in Paradise wasn't such a good idea.

I was really impressed with Eren. He’s become such an interesting and amazing character. And he didn’t fall for Pieck at all, and it was so smart when he healed his finger in front of her to show he “trusted” her, meanwhile still having another finger cut and hidden. And his overal distrust and not telling Pieck anything he knew. He obviously didn’t trust her. *sniff* my baby going out to destroy people

JEAN FOR BEST STALLION

Jean and Connie are both right. Eren's not absolved just because he has reasons for his actions. Lying and manipulating your friends is shitty, especially if you're doing it "for their own good." That's not a solid friendship. I hope Isayama sticks to his guns on this. And also get Historia out of that damn chair, I'm so tired of it. But mostly I really liked this chapter, particularly the arrival of Reiner and Co. And Gabi and Pieck!

Pieck is the best girl of all time. You CAN’T change my mind.

The Marleyan military is attacking Paradis. Them killing Eren and getting his powers is bad for Paradis. I have no idea why there are fans saying the Survey Corps will outright abandon Eren or even fight against him right now. Helping the people currently attacking them is...unwise, to say the least.

I know Eren looks like a tasty snacc, but I would be extremely grateful if Porco keeps his filthy mouth away from Eren. He can eat a 10 foot flaming pineapple for all I care, please and thank you!

Best part of this chapter: no Zeke. Thank you Yams.

Porco and Pieck look good in Paradise Military coats...

Will Reiner overcome his sufferboi status to finally do something right for himself? That's what I want to see.

I want to know if they have Hot Chocolate in the cell or some coffee. Why only tea? What is Eren planning withholding the coffee?

What a ride! And what a turn-around. I love how the narration has come around to Eren being the villain, and Pieck and Reiner being the heroes. I also can't wait to see Eren get his ass stomped.

I'm so happy that it looks like the remains of the 104th might actually do something soon.

Eren is finished. Maybe imprisoning your best soldiers, crippling your strongest trump card, having Zeke titanize a bunch of Scouts, and generally wreaking havoc in Paradise wasn't such a good idea.

JEAN FOR BEST STALLION

Pieck is the best girl of all time. You CAN’T change my mind.

Best part of this chapter: no Zeke. Thank you Yams.

I know Eren looks like a tasty snacc, but I would be extremely grateful if Porco keeps his filthy mouth away from Eren. He can eat a 10 foot flaming pineapple for all I care, please and thank you!

#snk chapter116 #snk 116 #snk polls #snk poll #snk poll results #snk spoilers

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thequeenoffish · 5 years

Text

17 Years of Freedom - Chapter 2

Ship: Starker

Warning: Incest

Summary:

In a world were omegas must have a legal alpha there is only one loophole, children. If an omega has a child and is not mated, they effectively own themselves till their youngest child comes of age. If that child is an alpha, they take over legal ownership, if not, the omega is owned by their last alpha guardian or the government.

Tony Stark is 24, he has been owned legally by Obadiah Stane since he was 17, but he knows Stane is tired of owning him legally without mating with him, so he gets pregnant. 9 months later Peter Stark is born, he is an alpha. Tony loves his son more than life itself and is determined to raise an alpha who truly respects omegas. But, as his son grows into an adult, things start to get complicated for them both.

Read Chapter two here on Ao3

---

Tony wakes the morning after his rescue to find 5 missed calls and ten text messages, all from Hill and Fury. The messages make it clear that Fury is pissed that Peter intervened and that they went back to the tower instead of straight to S.H.I.E.L.D. to be debriefed. Tony looks at Peter, curled against his chest, still dead asleep. He kisses his hair gently and lays in bed till voices drift into the room. “Of course, Phil, I’ll get them. Just wait here,” Tony hears Pepper’s voice. Tony’s arms tighten around Peter involuntarily at the mention of the agent being in their home. He doesn’t want S.H.I.E.L.D. near Peter. He’d taken significant measures to stop them finding out he’d been bitten and gained powers. Up till now, Peter has been content to train with Tony and build a suit to fit his powers, but Tony knew he’d want to use them for more soon…

Pepper opens the door and smiles softly at the scene. “Tony, S.H.I.E.L.D. needs you and Pete for the debriefing,” she tells him. Tony groans. He can feel Peter starting to stir. “Come on, Bud, time to wake up and come to work with Daddy,” he jokes. Peter lets out a soft groan and presses closer to Tony’s chest. “Five more minutes” he mumbles, voice thick with sleep. Tony laughs and rolls him onto his back. “Sorry kid, if you want to be a hero, you have to get used to the part of the job where you get shouted at for doing the right thing,” he tells him. Peter groans. “You’ll be with me?” he asks, eyes fluttering open. Tony strokes his cheek. “Wouldn’t let them separate us, kid,” he reassures. Peter leans into his hand and smiles sleepily.

---

An hour later, they’re sitting in a meeting room at S.H.I.E.L.D. Peter and Tony, being forced to wait in uncomfortable chairs, have pushed them closer together so they can lean against each other. Peter keeps scent marking Tony. It makes Tony’s heart ache. Peter must have been so worried. “You think I have time for a nap?” Peter asks, yawning. At that instant, the door opens. “No, you don’t, Spider-Boy,” Nick Fury exclaims. Peter seems unintimidated. He simply looks at the man and says, “You know, I think you were right about waiting to be a hero, Dad. ‘Boy’ really doesn’t have the same ring to it as ‘man,’ does it?” he asks. Tony grins, extremely proud of his son. “Boy is a little patronising,” he agrees. Fury does not appreciate the joke. He strides across the room and puts his hands on the table. “You did something incredibly dangerous, Pup. This is no laughing matter!” he snaps. Peter’s nose crinkles at the word, a word used only by parents for their own children unless it’s being used as an insult to talk down to someone else’s child. “And you were all just standing around! At least I did something. In fact, I did a lot of somethings,” he points out. Tony chest warms at how confident Peter is against this full-grown alpha.

Fury growls. The warm feeling disappears and in a second Tony is standing, hands on the table as he growls at Fury, right in his face. “You don’t fucking growl at Peter,” he spits out. “If you do, then you can forget this whole debrief, clear?” The two stare each other down. “In case you’re forgetting, Director, I tracked down the location my Dad was being kept hours if not days before S.H.I.E.L.D. was able to. I called and gave you the coordinates in time for S.H.I.E.L.D. to arrive 30 minutes after I did. As much as you want to act like I’m an idiot, I thought about this before I did it, and I am not going to apologise,” Peter says, voice confident, though it wavers a bit on the last word. Fury pulls back and glares at Peter. “It was reckless and dangerous, and you could have ruined the whole operation if you’d been caught,” he snaps. Peter rolls his eyes. “But I didn’t, did I?” he points out. “How exactly did you do it, Pete?” Tony asks, sitting back and sliding his arm around Peter’s shoulder. “You didn’t get a chance to tell me yesterday, and despite already seeing the footage that I sent to S.H.I.E.L.D., they’ll want the details in your own words” he points out. Peter smiles proudly at Tony. “I tracked you by following the unique trace of the arc reactor,” he says. Tony raises an eyebrow, impressed. “That took a few hours to get right, and then I used my override code to activate four Iron Man suits,” he explains. “I arrived at the coordinates with just the mark 13, then had my drone do a flyover to get a basic scan of the building. I went in through the vents since basically no one else would have been able to get into them. The vents had sheer drops with nowhere to attach a line to lower yourself down. I listened in from the vents, found out where you were being held, got into the room you were in, and beat the shit out of the two fucking asshole rapists. Then S.H.I.E.L.D. arrived due to my tip, with backup from the two other suits. Then the mark 12 and 13 came to pick us up, we helped S.H.I.E.L.D. clear the building a little, and then we flew back to the tower,” Peter finishes.

Fury looked unimpressed. “If you had been caught, you would have tipped them off, and then you, SI tech, and your Omega would have all been taken,” he snaps. Peter flinches. “Yes, well done, you do understand failure,” he snaps back, “But if my Dad had waited for you, he would have been raped!” Peter exclaims, a growl creeping into his tone. Fury steps forward again. “He knew the risks of fighting and getting caught as an omega!” he growls. Peter’s sensitive ears ring with the loud growl and he sways, but he won’t back down. Tony stands, ready to hit Fury for talking about him like that and growling at Peter again. “Stop!”

Their heads all snap to the door. It’s Steve. He’s glaring fiercely at Fury. “I can’t believe you just implied that, Fury, and watch your damn tone with Pete, he’s only a kid!” he snaps as he strides towards them. “I think this meeting is over. Come on, guys,” he says. Tony grabs Peter’s arm and pulls him out of the room as Peter continues to glare at Fury until he’s out of sight. Steve leads them through the base in silence to a rec room where the rest of the Avengers are.

Before Tony can speak and defend Peter, Steve is turning and hugging Peter. “Well done,” the Captain says. Peter blinks and hugs him back. “T-thank you,” he stutters, surprised. Steve pulls back enough to look him in the eye, hands still on his shoulders. “We may technically work for S.H.I.E.L.D., but we aren’t that conformist,” he pauses. “I think we can admit that, before yesterday, we might not have listened to you if you came to us with a plan since we still see you as a little kid sometimes. But next time, tell us your plan and we can go together without their approval, okay kid?” he asks quietly.

Peter’s eyes fill with tears and he nods. “O-okay,” he stutters. “You were very brave to do what you did, and I am so grateful that you were smart about it and that you saved Tony,” he says, voice quiet. “We watched the footage, Pete. Your upper hook needs some practice. We’ll have to spar together,” Natasha tells him, smiling. Peter looks shocked. “I, I’d like that Nat. I normally only spar with my Dad and Rhodey.” “You need to practise your aim,” Clint states. “We can practise with your stun darts,” he says, putting a hand on his shoulder. Suddenly Peter is lifted up from behind. “You are a warrior, Pete, and so on Asgard a man!” Thor exclaims as he hugs him back into his chest. Peter laughs. “Then put me down!” he exclaims. “I am a superior warrior. I get to hug you,” Thor tells him smugly. Peter laughs and Thor puts him down after a few more seconds. Bruce comes closer. “You’ll have to show me how you tracked Tony down so fast, Peter,” he tells him, smiling.

Tony watches them all, a warm feeling in his chest, and thinks that this is what it’s like to have a large family.

--- After the kidnapping incident, Peter finds himself becoming more protective and possessive of his Dad. This, however, is not an entirely new feeling for him. Peter was 12 when he first smelled alpha cum on his Dad. The stink of sex and alpha clinging to his skin made his nose scrunch up and the first protective alpha instincts rise in his chest. His Dad assumed that the possessive hug was because Peter smelled another alpha on him. Not because, despite the shower Tony took to wash away the smell of sex, Peter’s enhanced nose can still smell the other alpha’s claim. At the time, Peter wasn’t sure what the smell was exactly, just knowing in his chest that it was in some way another alpha’s mark on his Dad. Peter remembers holding his Dad tight and wanting to keep him away from anyone who’d put that kind of mark on him ever again.

Now Peter is 15 and he controls himself better, understanding that his Dad is entitled to enjoy his freedom while Peter is maturing into a proper alpha. But then Peter starts smelling the same alpha over and over, and only him, for two months, and he starts to get worried. He needs to do something, now. He primes his innocent puppy eyes and pout that he knows his Dad can’t resist and one night during dinner he casually says, “Are you serious about this alpha?”

Tony chokes on his food for a few seconds.

“Which alpha?” he asks, looking guilty. “The one you smell of whenever you come back from ‘business dinners.’ I’m not stupid Dad, god,” he says, rolling his eyes. Tony laughs and rubs his neck. “Sorry, Buddy, I should have told the truth. We are pretty serious,” he admits. Peter looks at his Dad with wide puppy eyes. “I thought you wanted me to be your Alpha and look after you,” he says, making his voice sound soft and hurt. Tony’s face contorts in pain at seeing Peter upset and he reaches for his hand and squeezes it. “I, I am sorry, baby. I just met someone and they’re pretty nice and I like them a lot. I didn’t plan it,” he explains softly. Peter hums and then pouts. “I get to meet them! I don’t care if I’m not your guardian Alpha yet, I want to keep you safe!” he demands. Tony laughs and squeezes his hand again. “Okay, Bud, it’s about time anyway,” he agrees. Peter smiles. Step one of the plan is a go. ---- Peter hates the dinner.

Sitting and eating dinner with some businessman named Carl Werewood and having to watch him touch his Dad all over like he owns him feels like torture. Carl’s hand is always around Dad’s waist, on his thigh, holding his hand, or on his lower back. It takes a lot not to break his hand when he sees the man squeeze his Omega’s ass when he thinks Peter isn’t looking. What’s worse is the scent of slight arousal coming from his Dad at the action.

And aside from all of that, disregarding his jealousy over this strange alpha, his spider-sense tells him the man is dangerous. Before, he was jealous, but now he’s worried too. Peter is the perfect son, polite and intelligent, and Carl seems impressed with him. Alphas are often very protective so it isn’t strange when Peter asks lots of questions and even makes Tony sit in the back of the car with him on the way back from dinner. “I was worried that might go badly, with you full with hormones and all, but I forgot it’s you, Pete. I don’t know why I was worried,” Dad says, kissing his cheek when they are back home. Peter’s chest swells with the praise. “I wanted to make a good impression for you, Dad,” he says. Tony smiles fondly. “You did great, thanks,” he says, eyes full of love. “What did you think of him?” “He seemed nice, smart, rich. He seemed to like you a lot,” Peter suddenly looks at his feet and pauses. “It, it might be nothing, but...” he trails off. Tony tilts his chin up. “But?” he asks, frowning. “He triggered my spider-sense. He felt like danger. Maybe it’s nothing, but... be careful okay?” he says softly. Tony hugs him. “I know that your sense can be pretty serious, so I promise to be careful, okay?” he murmurs. Peter hugs back tightly. “Love you, Dad.” “Love you too, kid.” ----

Now Peter’s got a name, a face, and a scent. He’s ready to start phase two. He is sure there’s something wrong which, while concerning for his Dad, is convenient for him because if there is, he doesn’t have to compete against the alpha in the same way. He had been planning to stalk Carl to find out his flaws and attempt to expose them, but if there is something really wrong, this won’t be needed. The next date they are going on is a few days later. In a show of protectiveness that he is sure Tony finds cute, he asks where he is going and when he will be back. Tony tells him and promises to stay safe.

Peter first has to negotiate with Karen. “Here’s the deal: either you don’t share my location with Friday, or I leave my watch, phone and suit home and risk getting hurt with no backup.” Karen is silent. “Locking baby monitor protocol for three hours,” she finally responds. Peter grins. “Great.” He goes to the restaurant and waits outside on the rooftop in his stealth suit. A little while later, Tony and Carl leave the restaurant. They kiss, far too passionately for Peter’s liking. He doesn’t like the man’s wandering hands.

He follows Carl’s taxi. This is day one of surveillance and he expects to simply find out where he lives, but instead Carl takes the taxi to a BDSM dungeon. This is an immediate red flag. He and Tony are exclusive. Peter already knows Carl is probably cheating, but there’s a chance Tony could forgive that. He needs to know what the man goes there to do. The suit changes to its normal colours and he strides in, going up to the counter where the beta hostess stares at him in shock. “I need information for an investigation I’m working on. How much?” Peter asks, getting straight to business. The woman blinks a few times. “Depends what it is.” “I want to talk to the person who served a man who has been here before and is here now, and I want to know how many times he has visited,” Peter explains. “I’ll pay you and the person who served them.” The woman looks him up and down. “$500 for what I can give you, but I won’t negotiate for them,” she answers. Peter draws out his wallet and counts out ten $50 bills. He offers half of it. “Other half after you give me the information,” he demands. She takes it. “Name.” “Carl Werewood,” he answers. Her face turns grim. “At least 4 times a month for the last 5 months or so,” she tells him. He nods. “Can I talk to anyone who served him?” he asks. She checks her computer screen then nods. “Yeah, one of the boys is free right now. Come through here so you don’t run into him,” she tells him, guiding him into a room. It’s half BDSM dungeon, half bedroom. “I don’t have anyone for 40 minutes, I’m on break-” the man stops when he sees Peter. “Spider-Man,” he whispers. Peter gives the woman her other $250. “He just wants to ask some questions. He pays well,” she tells him. The man nods, looking at Peter with wide eyes. “What do you need, Sir?” he asks. “I need to know what Carl Werewood pays for here,” Peter says. The boy’s face turns pale. Whatever it is must be bad to provoke such a reaction. The man swallows. “He shouldn’t be allowed here, but he pays the mistress too well,” he whispers. It is bad. “What does he do?” Peter repeats in a gentler tone. The omega twists his hands together. “He picks the omegas who are older like me and have some muscle and brown hair, and then…” he trails off, shaking. “He beats us half to death, then has sex with us, and then beats us again till he’s satisfied. It, it takes hours for him to be done. I was in the hospital for a week,” he whispers. Peter feels disgusted. “I‘m very sorry for what has happened to you,” he says softly. He takes out the other $500 and presses it into the omega’s hand and then gets out some more. “Give the other $500 to whoever he’s with now, for me. Could you do that?” he asks. The omega nods, wiping his eyes. Peter nods. “Thank you,” he says, starting to leave. “There is something e-else,” the man says suddenly. Peter turns back. “Yes?” “He, he calls us Tony,” he whispers.

Peter barely restrains a growl. “Thank you for telling me. If I can, I will ensure that he never touches you again,” he promises before striding out.

---

He gets back to the tower just as Tony calls him. “Hey,” he calls. Tony turns, hand falling from his ear. Peter pulls his mask off. “I’m glad you’re here, but why wouldn’t Karen tell Friday your location?” he asks worriedly, striding towards him. Peter looks at the floor. “I bribed her not to because I was doing something you’d disapprove of,” he says quietly. Tony cups his face in his hands. “Baby, what were you doing?” he asks quietly. Peter surges forward and hugs Tony tightly. “I was worried, Daddy, so I followed Carl after the date. I just felt like something bad was going to happen,” he says, voice shaking, face buried in Tony’s neck. “Peter, that is a violation of his privacy. I am angry about that and we will be discussing it, but are you satisfied that he is fine now?” Tony asks sounding upset and angry but not too much due to Peter’s tears. Peter pulls back. “Something did happen, Dad,” he whispers as he cries. Tony’s face morphs into concern. “What? Is he okay?!” he demands. Peter nods, still crying. “Karen, play, play from when I arrived at the place C-Carl stopped,” he orders. A screen flickers to life and Tony lets go of him and steps away to stare at it as he watches Carl enter the club. “Th-that doesn’t mean he’s cheating. He might just have business there,” Tony says, but Peter can hear the worry. “Keep playing, Karen,” he whispers. He steps closer to his Dad, and when the man he questioned starts talking, he watches Tony’s face transform into betrayal and then horror, especially at the last line. “I’m sorry,” Peter whispers because he is. He thought maybe the guy was involved in under the table dealings or crime or wanted Tony for his money, but not this. Tony is shaking. “He, he hurt all those men to, to maintain a facade, to stay calm around me so I trusted him, and, and then when I couldn’t leave, he would have…” Tony trails off. Peter reaches forward and touches his shoulder. “Omega?” he whispers. Tony needs his Alpha, not his son, right now. Tony looks at him so scared, shaking and almost crying. “It’s going to be okay. You’re safe. Come here,” he coaxes. Tony steps closer and Peter pulls him into his arms. “I’ve got you,” Peter promises. “It isn’t your fault, any of it. It’s going to be okay, Omega,” he promises. Tony lets out a sob, then another, and another. Peter holds him in the kitchen, and then in bed. The next day, Tony confronts Carl, and Peter is there for support as Tony shouts at the alpha. The man denies it and denies it, and when Tony steps back to leave saying he doesn’t care to be lied to anymore, he grabs Tony’s wrist, his eyes full of anger, and raises a hand. Peter surges forward and grabs his wrist and throat. “You let go of my Dad right now or you will regret it,” he growls. Carl gasps for breath and Peter squeezes. He lets go. Tony spits on him. Tony keeps it together till they get back to the car. Peter holds him as his Dad cries. Later, when they’re eating ice cream, snuggled up on Tony’s bed, he whispers, “I don’t deserve such a good son.” Peter strokes his hair. “I love you. I want you to be safe and happy, Dad. I’ll always be here for you,” he promises, lacing their fingers together. Tony presses closer. “Love you too, Pete.”

---

Peter tells Aunt Nat the basics of what happened. She assures him that the man will get his comeuppance in the future with flames in her eyes.

---

Tony doesn’t come home smelling of another alpha’s cum for 9 months after Carl. Peter feels bad because Tony now seems to have lost trust in himself, and his Dad is nothing if not wonderful and smart. But now if he has anything more than a passing interest in an alpha, they very quickly meet Peter so he can check them out with his spider-sense.

First is Sarah. He has a bad feeling about her. She is caught attempting to steal the plans for the Iron Man suit.

Second is Harry. He is involved in black market dealings.

And finally, when he is 16 years and 5 months, there is Charles. He is a gold digger, mixing in high society circles in order to marry and social climb. Peter observes him on the date and he seems genuinely charmed by Tony. But in the end, Peter decides he can’t trust Charles with something as precious as his Dad’s heart. Tony is used to social climbers after so many years so he mostly shrugs off the evidence until Peter cups Tony’s face in his hands and looks into his eyes. “Dad, you deserve someone who would love you even if you were dirt poor. You deserve so much better than Charles.” Tony’s eyes fill with tears and he looks away quickly, blinking them back. “O-okay,” he whispers. A few days later, he breaks it off.

Peter feels bad about Tony’s loss of confidence and tries to rebuild it when they work together in the lab and when they train in the gym together, but him being wary of alphas in a romantic sense isn’t something Peter tries to dispel. It’s still 7 months till Tony is his Omega. He doesn’t want someone to take him away before that.

----

Tony sometimes wakes up in cold sweats thinking about what could have happened if Peter hadn’t warned him. It reassures Tony to have Peter come and meet alphas he has been on more than two dates with, telling them he wants them to get along when really Peter is protecting him. Not even his Alpha yet and protecting him.

It reassures Tony. Peter is protecting him from all these alphas. He clearly doesn’t intend to just sell him off to the highest bidder. But perhaps even his sweet, wonderful son has a price.

#starker #tony/peter #tony stark/peter parker #ironspider #abo #alpha/omega #Alpha Peter #omega tony stark

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