do you ever see a post or tweet and want desperately to explain "the headline has to be worded like that because otherwise the company could face a lawsuit be it for defamation, libel, or any other number of things"

If Will is a lab kid, do you think he's always meant to be one, or is it one of those things that they decided to go with post-season 1?

I'm sort of undecided right now? Part of me thinks, yes definitely! Then another part of me thinks, maybe not?

It's kind of the equivalent to byler for me rn, where yes, there are several instances in s1 that I read as foreshadowing Mike not being straight and/or even simply liking Will. Though, I can't say for certain if that was their original intention (unless they admit it themselves eventually) because we know from what they've said in the past, they thought s1 could end up being a standalone. And so if s1 ended the way it did, without returning, then presumably byler wouldn't have been endgame (at least not blatantly in canon).

However, they also have said that while producing s1, Netflix wanted more background for the inter-workings of the greater story, so that if they did hypothetically continue there would be a plan. And so stuff like Eleven originally dying at the end of s1, might have been the permanent ending had they simply not returned for a s2. And yet they still ended s1 on a note that made her death open-ended, had they been given the opportunity to return.

So I do think generally speaking there could be a lot of details in s1 that were put there with the hope (or consideration at least) that the story could go further. And both byler endgame and twelvegate/willel twins sort of fits into that for me.

Though for the sake of this ask, there are definitely certain pieces of evidence from s1 that make me genuinely consider twelvegate as something they could have planned from the beginning. And not only that, but I think a lot of what happens in s1 ties into what goes on in the following seasons. So I feel fairly confident saying I think it might have indeed been a plan from the start.

One major thing I've been fixated on as of recent, is this consistent focus on Will's arms/wrists throughout the series. It's as if they're either very obnoxiously obstructing our view of his arm/wrists (usually his left arm w/ his watch), or they are showing them off blatantly in the frame (usually his right arm).

I think that this consistent detail, in tandem with the theme of time being central (Will's watch) as well as the references to the tattoo on El's left wrist/alleged birthmark on Will's right arm, makes a lot of these observations interesting as a whole, to say the least...

Within the first 5 minutes of being introduced to Will, he's sporting his iconic red/yellow vest and his watch. Within the first 5 minutes of being introduced to El, she's sporting the yellow Benny's burgers t-shirt, and not only that, but the red and yellow ketchup being the most eye catching colors in most of these shots takes my brain straight to Will (and El?). The shot of Benny with his watch in the frame is a nice touch, and us getting a close up of El's tattoo directly where Will's tattoo would presumably be (under his watch), is interesting, but it's even more interesting in the context of what's to come.

As of now, this is believed to be the first scene featuring the infamous birthday mug in Mike's basement, and it's a scene where Mike gives El his watch to wear on her left arm (over her tattoo), so that she can keep track of time.

This is the most unnecessary detail ever. I'm not even going to delve into it bc it's sort of ridiculous. Why even have Joyce say this, only to cut her off? Why?

This is probably my favorite example out of all of these, and it's because it was after getting an ask about this scene in particular, that I realized this is actually really suspicious. For one, it's the first time we're ever seeing Will w/out his watch in the series. It's a flashback that Joyce has while at Will's funeral. What we can presume based on the other flashbacks from s1, with Will at Castle Byers and then in Jonathan's room listening to music, with him wearing his watch in both of those, is that he was presumably not wearing his watch in the fireball flashback bc he was at an age where he didn't have it yet. So this is likely the youngest Will Byers we have seen in the show, pre-June 1982 at the latest (that's when Poltergeist was in theaters). But that's not even the interesting part. What's interesting is how in most of these shots, specifically OTS, they block out Will's left arm, while in contrast broadcasting his right arm in the frame. Weird how the first time they showed Will without his watch in the series, and they're making a point to block it out...? And the intense shadow in that third shot on his right arm also has me side eyeing...

Jumping to the end of s1, they make a point to show El returning Mike's watch before she gets into the salt bath to find Will. She removes it from her right arm, only for Mike to take it and put it back on his left arm. I wouldn't normally read too much into this, but when we've got time trickery/loop, Mike always running late, and Will might be a lab kid allegations all in the mix, how can I not read into this?

What then follows is El going into the void to find Will. Now's the time they make a point to show us the inside of Will's right arm/wrist, AKA the same arm that Joyce said had a birthmark? Almost like they want to confirm something they planted in our heads in the first place? And yet nothing is there, or so it seems..? I have to ask again, Why? What is the point of all of this? (+ reminder that Mike was missing from all of the reaction shots for this scene, which is odd...)

And yet it gets weirder. At the end of s1, when Will is rescued and reuniting with the party, they decide to also clue us in on the state of Will's left arm (he coughs and so he has no choice but to lift it up and put it on display... yeah... okay), the same arm they didn't let us see at the start of the season, but are now showing us AFTER Will's time in the upside down... Whatever I guess..

At the end of s1, during the epilogue, they give us a close up of Will's arms in long sleeves, which we have been lead to believe up this point now are both birthmark-less (tattoo-less if that's something someone was looking for...). And so okay. Cool. I can't say for certain why they still feel the need to show off his arms so blatantly like this (I do however have a guess...).

Onto s2!

These two images above are more so notable mentions to start of s2 than major examples. It gets pretty crazy going forward, but I felt the need to mention a couple examples like these bc they're simple and cute. The first one is cute bc there's so little of the main party in the frame as it is, and so making Will at the forefront with his little wrist out? Noted. And the next one is even more simple, and yet I love it bc of that detail of the letters spelling out "TICK" in the background...

This one is quite difficult to catch, but after rewatching and really trying to pay attention, I realized that what's being emphasized here is not only both of Will's arms, first his right then his left, but also in contrast, the doctor attending to him's wrists are on full display in both shots...

This is another notable mention, just because I think in general Will's love for drawing is something that makes these sort of shots very easy to overlook. Because they fit so well with the outright narrative, you don't have to read into it to appreciate it. However, looking at all these moments together, makes it hard for me to overlook.

And here we have another favorite, because this is after one of the most confusing scenes in the entire series, with which no fan has even come close to understanding yet. What I am referring to are the scenes at the Byers at the end of 2x01, where the phone rings and they don't answer it (Will is missing from these shots for some reason), followed by a scene at the lab with the lights flickering, then followed by Will waking up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. They give us this really dramatic shot of his wrists again, literally flipping them over to show off that there's nothing there... Why even go all out with this unless they assume that we are looking? And why even humor a reminder? Why make it a constant throughout the show, if there's nothing to it?

This is another notable mention because I think it's really peculiar how he kind of drags his left (watch) arm out the door, causing it to be doused in shadow for most of that shot. Though the next morning they show it off again. This may very well still seem not that suspicious yet, but trust me, this isn't even the most incriminating.

This is believed to be the second time we are seeing the infamous happy birthday mug, only this time it's in a scene with Mike and Will. I think what makes this scene so much better to me now, is how right Mike was without even realizing. The truth is, El would understand exactly what Will is going through. I initially tried to look into this scene from the context of arms/wrists and came up short. Though now, looking at it and typing this, I do think it's interesting they were presumably given the direction to cross their wrists over for that last shot... It could just be a coincidence, but a pretty insane one considering.

Just another iconic drawing shot with Will's arm dominating the frame.

This one is interesting bc it's the first time we're officially introduced to Will's feeling in his neck (head?), which if you'll note, he reaches to touch with his arm(s).

NOW THEY'RE JUST LAUGHING AT US!

Fair warning, it's about to get real.

Also s/out to @shippingfangirl013 who supports my Twelvegate obsession. We've been going back and forth for months rewatching. And I kid you not, every rewatch we're finding new evidence that support our theories (delusion?). She introduced me to a lot of these examples of Will's wrists being emphasized after we talked about the complexities of the tattoo debacle, leading us down a massive rabbit hole. Though these ones below are what probably take the cake, because they are just...

Well would you look at that. An extremely incriminating shot focusing entirely on Will's left arm dominating the frame more than ever before, and cast in a remarkably intense shadow, also with lacerations from the rope that was tying him up over his wrist(s). It means nothing...

Onto s3!

Also hard to spot this, but the final shot of the previous scene emphasizing El's left arm (wrist), where her tattoo is, along with her bracelet, sort of parallels the shots of Will in the following scene, which also emphasizes Will's left arm (wrist), where his watch is...

If you'll notice, each time Will has reached for his neck up to this point, he's always used his left arm.

That is until the scene at Castle Byers, which is when Will suddenly starts a new trend of using his right arm to reach for his neck instead, also ironically the same scene that Will says He's back...

This VERY much intrigues me in the context of the theory that Will was in part either possessed or at least guided in some way by Vecna to encourage the party to go to the hospital, where their ill-fate awaited them. Also somewhere they probably wouldn't have gone if it wasn't for Will bringing the idea up himself. There's already been analysis on this elsewhere, but the basics is that those scenes at Heather's house and the hospital, leading up to the lights flickering, and Will's blocking in all those shots/his literal shadow, is odd... (also I might be totally crazy, but these shots at the pool/hospital almost look like Will does have a birthmark on his right arm, arguably near the wrist tattoo zone... It doesn't look like Will/Noah has ever had a mole/birthmark in any of the shots focusing on his right arm in the show previously up to this point, which I just find that to be kind of confusing in the context of the speculation about a birthmark on his right arm in 1x03 by Joyce, despite that being debunked in the finale? Idk, maybe it's a new one? Idk. I'm just gonna try not to think about it too much or my brain might explode.).

Next, that first one is almost funny to me, because why does Will even need to be in the frame at all here? Arguably he doesn't need to be, but instead of just letting this be a shot of El and Max, they make a point to have Will's right arm placed directly in the middle of the shot (less the middle, more so following rule of thirds. Which is even more incriminating tbh)...

Not suspicious at all. Totally normal stuff going on here. In fact, look away entirely. It's probably a complete waste of your time...

ANYWAYS onto s4!

The wonder twins are now officially twinning-up after 3 seasons of subtle build-up. The yellow and red making a reappearance reminding us this is very much the same as it's always been, whether we (or they themselves) realize it or not. Both of their left wrists sporting some type of accessory, while also mirroring each other, is borderline spooky.

AGAIN, the unrelenting urge these Duffers have to make Will and El mirror each other...? Pretty remarkable if you ask me. Something is definitely going on here. Oh and here's a quick focus on Will's right arm during his fight with Mike... Idk doesn't look like any birthmarks in sight to me...

I bet you didn't see this coming, aka the van scene is twelvegate evidence???? I mean not on the surface, no. However, in the grand scheme of things, yes. It follows an interesting trend this show has had of focusing on Will's arms in a way that feels like they're hinting at something, while simultaneously keeping the truth just out of our reach.

And we're back to our regularly scheduled programming. You'll notice here at the end of s4, that Will is following the same late s3 trend of reaching with his right arm to touch his neck. I don't know what to make of the pattern they're going with there, but I do think it's interesting that there is a pattern at all in regards to which arm he uses. Am I scared about the implications that come with that? That this could mean Will ends s4 not entirely himself, at risk of being pushed to do things by Vecna, just like fans predict he was mid s3...?Absolutely.

It's fair to say I think this could have definitely been a plan since the beginning. Arguably, it fits quite well with David's consistent insistence that the ending of the show is beautiful, going all the way back to interviews he did to promote s2.

I do think it's possible this could have been a plot line they planned on exploring and maybe even revealing in s2, but once they realized what it a hit it was and that they would have to go another 2-3 seasons beyond that, then they presumably had to stretch it all out to make those revelations exciting for the end instead. And so Will taking a back seat to the greater plot for s3-4 makes a lot more sense to me, knowing they are arguably saving the most exciting and thought out ideas for last, which we know in large part all connects to Will...

Thinking out loud

Oof, last days I got the feeling I consumed too much drama. So many youtubers and online personalities are getting exposed. Some for the good, others for the worse. I mean, if people are getting canceled for serious crimes, you know what? Karma. But sometimes people are just innocent, but you can’t see it until they proved themselves innocent and...cancel culture gives me a headache. Oh well, it doesn’t concern me, and it is not in my place to point fingers. I am not a superhero or someone so righteous that they can’t help themselves when they see something wrong- or, most of the times, something they think is wrong. 

For example, an artist group I like had certain allegations against them. Am I now a bad person for liking their art? Should I stop? I don’t know. 

It’s the cancel queen JKR all over again. 

Cancel culture is scary. People might want to out you just because you said something stupid on the internet once. That’s why I keep the hell away from difficult subjects and shut the fuck up, keep my opinions to myself. At least to a place, where people can’t see it or don’t care, like this blog. 

Sometimes I am really frikkin greatful that I am most of the time invisible, online and in real life. It’s a blessing in disguise. You can go your merry way, do whatever you please, without someone to publicly shame you or humiliate you. 

That’s why I don’t want to get famous. Ever. 

Too scary. Also, I would just ask too much of me. I’m just a stupid person on the internet who likes to talk to themselves. I don’t need that stress. 

To change the subject to a less heavy subject...

I have so many projects I want to work on. So many ideas, but not enough motivation to see them through. I used to be very passionate, but it was somehow drowned out by apathy one day without me noticing. 

Oof, still heavy. Give me a second...

(...)

Okay, I think I got my shit together. 

I am considering what mangas to take to the trip tomorrow. I shouldn’t take too many, but it’s 8 hours of traveling...”I can’t reach you” is an easy pick, it’s one of my new obsessions. It’s so fucking cuteeeee!! I love it. Makes my heart hurt of happiness. 

Maybe Blue Period too? But taking like, 10 volumes might be a bit much...

(...)

One of my caretakers came, also to wish me a good trip. Very kind of her. But it makes the anxiety slightly worse. It’s really happening, isn’t it? Oh god oh god oh god...

Okay, no panic on the titanic. I can do this. Even though my mouth dries and I’m cold. I can do this. I can do this...

...manga, yeah. We were talking about that. 

Blue Period. Freaking good manga, specially if you take art seriously. Takahanashi is my baby. But maybe a bit too dark for a light read...? it gets really dramatic. 

Thinking about manga, I saw a few analysis on youtube about Records of Ragnarok. Normally I don’t really like battle anime, i don’t get the hype around it, but the gods vs humans kinda stuff really...it really gets me XD

The art seems to be really good, at least in the manga. 

Maybe I’ll give it a watch. Or a read. Better a read, yes. 

But I’m already reading SpyxFamily, Blue Period, I Can’t Reach You and a Shoujo from Mika Yamamori, I can’t start another series that isn’t finished...!

Also- why are thots following me everywhere? On social media, that is. I wish I had rizz enough in real life, I’m the epidemy of a weeb. On the other hand...I really love En-sama. I can’t leave him. He was there for me when no one else was. I kinda owe it to him, as stupid as it sounds. 

I’m just listening to music and one of my favorite songs of Megatera Zero came on. He has such a beautiful voice. A real blessing. It hypes me up everytime I listen to it. Makes me happy. 

I think I’ll end it on that note. 

Time to do my best to relax and take it easy, so that tomorrow I am at my full strength!  HYAAAAAAHHH I CAN DO THIIIIIISSSS!!!

I have a question. In one of your recent posts, you said that trigger warnings come from a place of obligation and not true caring. I agree with you that a lot of the time, that’s true. Which can be concerning. But my question is that at the end of the day, does the person’s reasoning matter? Maybe they’re an awful rude person but if they’ve tagged their stuff, made it easy to see what’s gonna be in the fic, doesn’t that still help? Even if coming from a rude place. The end result is good

Well sure, any time a trigger warning is a benefit to someone, it doesn’t really matter what the reasoning for making it was. Absolutely.

My point there was the problem is one of priorities, and approach. And bottom line, a person who is only tacking on expected trigger warnings out of a sense of covering their own ass, like......they’re not ever likely to be examining their own work with an eye towards the kinds of negative effects it could potentially have on people, because they’re too busy denying that there’s any possible negative impact it could have at all. Despite the fact that this is just willful obliviousness - if fic can have a positive effect on people and inspire or reinforce positive ideas, it has just as much power and likelihood to have a negative effect on people and inspire or reinforce negative ideas. Its not about a one to one correlation, like, its not like anything someone reads in fic they’re going to do, but as pieces of a larger fandom culture? That absolutely adds up and contributes to the normalization and perpetuation and spread of negative ideas and ideologies.

And this is the kind of self-scrutiny an over-reliance on trigger warnings gets in the way of....because its just accepted or taken as fact that trigger warnings ARE the solution....despite all the times and ways people speak up to say well there’s a problem here because this alleged solution is not working here and here and here and over here too. 

But someone who’s convinced they ALREADY did their due diligence by tacking on a couple trigger warnings is never going to be as receptive to being told they missed some, as someone who approaches things from a perspective of understanding that trigger warnings are not infallible, they’re only effective when an author has an HONEST view of their own work.

(And if fandom was truly engaging in a lot of this content honestly, as I’ve said, tags like dub-con and pseudo-incest and consensual underaged sex would not be as widely used as they are in the ways that they’re most often used.....ways that are categorically NOT what those things mean and advertise).

And most importantly, trigger warnings as they’re used by fandom now, like....have kinda become an excuse for authors to try and abdicate any responsibility for what they write. “Oh, I used trigger warnings, so any impact my fic has on someone has nothing to do with me past that point.....unless of course its a positive impact, in which case I’m still more than happy to soak up the praise.”

And that’s just not how it works. You know that thing I said in an earlier post about how all writing is just another form of communicating things - to ourselves in journals, to others in stories or emails or messages.....bottom line, writing has one purpose: to convey ideas, meanings, etc between the person writing and the person or people they’re writing TO or sharing that writing WITH.

In essence, a fic that you’ve written and then decided to POST, to publish, to put out in the world in some form and share with others.....at that point, it stops being a conversation with just yourself and becomes a conversation that’s being had with anyone and everyone who then reads that fic....even if it is a one-sided conversation for the most part, with others just listening to what ideas and thoughts and images and impressions you’re conveying via your writing.

And think of it in terms of like, literally ANY conversation you might have out loud.

If you say something offensive, is it anyone’s fault or responsibility other than yours, that you said something that was offensive?

If you say something you don’t actually believe, but don’t follow it up with anything that actually indicates out loud that this isn’t something you genuinely believe, is it realistic to pretend that people have no basis for listening to what you actually SAID and from that drawing conclusions about what you believe or support?

If you say something that’s in direct opposition to something you said earlier, is it any wonder if people question which you ACTUALLY meant or believe MORE, or just flat out don’t believe what you said earlier now?

If you say something insensitive or even cruel, do you have any right or reasonable expectation why anybody who hears you shouldn’t be within their rights to call you out for what you said and why it was fucked up?

If you choose NOT to say something, out of respect for someone you’re around, or because you know its insensitive or offensive or anything of the sort....are you being censored, or are you just choosing not to be a douchebag?

And so on and so on.

Writers have a tendency to kinda hide behind the logic “not everything we write has to be something we personally believe, we can write characters who have very different values than us” - and that’s absolutely true....but only up to a certain point.

Because you can absolutely write a CHARACTER who believes the opposite of stuff you actually believe or value.....but your NARRATIVE still has to refute that somewhere at some point in some way.....otherwise.....there is literally no reason why anyone reading that, ‘hearing’ what you spoke into the world, would think you DON’T actually believe that. You’ve communicated something toxic or ugly or even harmful or predatory....without accompanying it with ANY communicated idea as to why a reader SHOULDN’T just absorb those ideas as is.

Like.....if you write a rape fic that’s INTENDED to be received as sexy or hot, even if you’re not actually condoning rape within the fic, and even if you would never condone it in real life.....

If your fic still garners comments like “that’s so hot” or something like that, and this isn’t a problem for you because this is a reaction you expected or even a response you intended or were seeking?

You didn’t say or express that you would ever rape someone or say it was okay to rape someone.

But you still communicated, without any kind of self-contradiction: 

“Hey, here is a scenario in which rape is hot.”

And whether you’re talking about fiction or reality, why WOULDN’T that communicated idea be anything other than wildly insensitive and yes, even offensive and yes even DAMAGING to many rape survivors....even if you’re one yourself? 

Like.....another example, okay so I’ve literally been gaybashed, nobody’s likely to ever accuse me of being homophobic, its a pretty safe bet, right? But if I write a fic FOR WHATEVER REASON, in which a character is homophobic even though I’m not myself, but where a character expresses toxic, prejudicial, HARMFUL ideas about being gay....and then my fic nowhere at any point says or does anything to REFUTE or contest those harmful ideas......why would the fact that I don’t actually believe those things make ANY difference whatsoever in terms of whether those things were absorbed by readers in the exact way I communicated them....but without the benefit of any of the reasons I KNOW - but did not communicate in the fic - that they’re harmful and shouldn’t be paid attention to?

So yes, fiction absolutely can do harm, if its not treated with the appropriate responsibility. It can make people who’ve never met someone who’s Muslim decide all Muslim people are terrorists. It can convince people that destructive, harmful instances of incest are actually the outliers and most incest is harmless and between equals. It can normalize the idea that all bisexual people are slutty and promiscuous. It can do tons more beside all that.

And yes, fic absolutely can and often DOES, in fandom, communicate the idea that many of the exact same people who swear they support survivors and have nothing but sympathy for what they went through and all that....can in the right scenarios and circumstances still find the very IDEA of rape hot and exciting, can find the IMAGERY of a hot or sexy character being raped to be sexually stimulating and gratifying and DESIRED, and so on and so forth.

And why wouldn’t that communicated idea make someone question if you’re someone they can ever be comfortable being around, because one way or another, you still found and advertised, broadcast, invited others to join in enjoying.....a scenario in which something an awful lot like that someone’s trauma was hot or sexy to you just as long as it was projected on someone else - a distance which may not matter to them or make them feel any better about the fact that you’re still talking about one of the worst things to ever happen to them, but skewing it in a way where every thing actually being said isn’t about how its bad or wrong or nothing you’d ever condone....but hot and titillating and sexy? 

Why wouldn’t it bother someone or weird them out that you see no conflict of interest between having sympathy for them but then flipping a switch and happily consuming content that’s entirely and unilaterally just about characters going through the exact same kind of thing.....and the viewpoint you’re siding with in this particular instance is that of like....the actual attacker, the one going yes, this is good?

ALL OF THESE are the kinds of questions - and the kind of impact - that not only do trigger warnings just flat out not cover....but that the over-reliance on trigger warnings makes less and less likely to even pop up in a writer’s brain as something worth considering or weighing at all.

So again, like I said at the top - I mean yeah, if a trigger warning is actually helpful to someone, it doesn’t matter WHY it was added or put in place.

But if it wasn’t put in place out of a genuine self-examination of your work and a genuine desire to look out for readers’ comfort and take responsibility for the kind of heavy content you’re choosing to write and share.....

Chances are, the fact that one trigger warning did work for one person or however many, was just a stroke of luck and there’s likely to be a dozen other ways in which that writer failed to consider or even ask themselves....is there anything else I should recognize and acknowledge as potentially having a negative impact on people?

And please, if you read or write dark fic for any reason, you don’t owe me an explanation but you owe it to yourself to at least take a second and honestly ask yourself if you’ve EVER stopped to ask or examine any of the above questions or angles. And if not, why? Ask yourself if you’ve ever been encouraged or had it suggested by others in fandom to even just ask or wonder about these things. And if not, why?

Please examine - who benefits MOST in all of this, from encouraging more and more readers and writers to just NOT think about ANY of this stuff at all, and to instead just shut down any and all conversation about it or attempts to START conversations like this......

Other than people who like and enjoy this type of content and genuinely just do not care about the impact it might have on others....and so similarly, want as few other people as possible to care or even THINK about the impact it might have on others....and thus, maximize the number of people who absent those considerations, have no problem contributing to or enjoying that type of content?

Mild Discourse: Of All the Things (Thesis of Anger)

Foreward: This is usually to point out discrepancies of what some things were called out to me by a different individual whose name shall not be stated upon this. This was nearly a month ago when this shit ass "barring" happened to me on three places on a famous app which I will never mention also. I had cried in frustration upon after this shit issue.

I will only mention what the discrepancies are, since I have been noticing after screenshotting of the reasons I saw, were either a bit correct at some parts or incorrect. I'm not gonna show the screenshot either since it's best to not get any criticism. I will point out my own truth in reaction to the statements seen in the screenshot privately. Each one quoted sentence is of the said problematic thing about me, and the paragraph is how I am actually answering and reacting to the said problem as honest and fair as possible.

1 "My family is on the spectrum and doesn't act like you."

That's one thing that infuriated me the most because I am a high func autie with ADHD, but each individual with autism with and/or without comorbidities has a different personality and family background, depending on where they're from. I came from a family who had a military background, specifically the Greek Navy from my dad, plus my maternal grandfather worked as a naval CB in Korea during the Cold War for the United States, prior to his death in Janurary 2019. This sometimes explain my rough, coarse, militaristic personality (henceforth why Heavenly/Monster Triangle Sciences exist and Hellspire Sciences exist, two different military factions) a bit. Plus, being in a rural community in the Southeast United States, there's not much opportunity to socialize in real life, so I pretty much veer to the Internet for socialization since there's not many local individuals who I trust.

2 "You are self-serving and arrogant"

The only times I get into self-reliance is when stuff goes into dire situations. The arrogance is from all the bullies I had encountered in the past in school times when I was a kid. I had tried to play nice with others at least and try to thicken the plot of the HTS and HSS factions during my times here, henceforth a little of the militaristic behavior I have involving order. I also pretty much had faked some of my happiness or empathy because I am trying not to put in any facade of sadness within. I somehow come up obnoxious and rude at times because I'm trying to be nice, but it goes the opposite direction of what is intended.

3 "You need to see a therapist."

Not when the 'Rona is around. The only last time I ever saw a therapist was in Georgetown of last year in Spring once over to see what I have: Autism with ADHD and some instances of paranoia. Only people who have very serious problems would usually seek therapeutic help and interventions to improve themselves and I am not one of those individuals. I've only been to speech and occupational therapy in school as a kid until I was 12, so don't assume things out of the blue that I haven't even been to a therapist. I've taken Adderall to relieve of my ADHD issues before in school, but it made my mentality so fucked up and losing my creativity, so post-school, I had to find ways to regain my creativity where I lost it in school. That's why I made a lot more OCs than what others usually made because my creativity levels amped up after I graduated from high school, away from the bad chaos, some of them were remakes of my old OCs I did in middle school (Jamine being one of my bare examples), but the Adderall overtook me of my creativity.

4 "Why would a couple of characters do self-harm on a budding f/f relationship?" (trigger warning)

Do you mean that budding m/m relationship of two different male characters, the self destructive behavior clinged by it involving with the use my two female OCs, Munphine and Jamine (pronounced Juh-mine, Jamie for short)? Listen here, I already had pretty much stopped that shit a few weeks prior to the barring and several weeks after the barring cos it was getting a bit too boring and a bit out of context, so that shit is quitted out. Both these characters had bits of dark backgrounds, pretty much involving both of their families (Jamie, involved with the death of her father and also her mother Ryuke being buried alive in a metal coffin, Munphine, whose parents whose faces were beautiful had shamed her for having an ugly facial appearance and kicked her from her town, so to cover her mouth from others to see, she uses bandages to cope that.), in general. Or do you mean the one involving my stable B8 Ghost Variant Yellow Missingno OC, Vesparada, and some other female character a few months ago? If it's already stopped weeks and/or months ago, it's already stopped. Period.

5 "You bragged about treatment of a physical problem I had."

What I was meant to say was that a medicine is suppose to help the problem, not actually treat it altogether, though with some side effects. It was an unintentionally misspoken statement, because my mind was in dire thought mode and accidentally typed too fast. I shouldn't have stated about a said medicine in the first place. I wished I thought and knew better about that. I'll leave that behind.

6 "You had guilt tripped in someone's place multiple times."

Most of the guilt tripping was unintentional at most because it's either me trying to come up with at least a statement/sentence and/or if it was a dire situation involving a decision. Some auties, like me, do have some problems making decisions, and at times, I unintentionally chose the wrong decision without thinking twice, though I do mostly think twice before I speak at some non-dire times. Sometimes I usually am impatient to my peers because I'm just excited over certain fun things coming up within my sight. I mostly never intentionally guilt tripped, lest if it's anyone I hate to be fair. I do have occasional preconditions that sometimes come in also.

7 "You had shrugged shoulders on a relationship with two different individuals."

This is me after being told at to stop and the mild shrugging of my shoulders is usually saying a way of, "Okay, I will stop digging into the nitty gritty of a certain relationship and let them do their thing." , as per se. By the words of ebony and ivory, that means I drop my guard of thought and accept it. It's been hard and rough for me to have at least a bit of attention during an RP story. I know that was nearly a couple months ago and it's best not to bring that up, since that is just an old thing. I'm a person whom does go by the cross a bit, being Greek Orthodox and all, but I'm trying my best not to scare anyone from advancing their creativity.

8 "You have been playing around with a victim."

Could you at least please elaborate this said victim and who it was? I didn't know I ever even played around with a victim nor I would recall it. It would be better for me to acknowledge who it is. I cannot fully understand certain things sometimes, lest if it's fully elaborated and stated to me. Who was this victim and how long? That's one thing that I am asking of.

Conclusion: Here on out, after the barring, I have been playing about in my garden, taking care of my own pets and whatnot to live my fullest life. It's been a bit of zen away of what happened. At least I am honestly covering what had been said and stated to me why have I been nixed from these places to others, and telling my actual side to what they had said with my utmost, undivided attention. I pretty much rest my case what I am telling my side of the actual allegations against me. There is no cover-ups or lies whatsoever of what had I said. I am literally straight-up speaking this in my own words. This ends the conclusion.

Statesman: Ablaze  Ch.2: Off the Grid

(a/n: here is chapter 2 of the one thing im super frickin proud of. thank you @pomelloe-me​ for bullying me in our shared google doc to make sure i get things done. ily <3)

“Can you leave the window down? My car smells like fucking fried chicken, and while it may be your fave food it's not mine.” Alicia said, shutting her car engine off. Pom chuckled, obliging her friend’s request. Both women stretched, their joints popping, as they clambered out of the small car and started their walk up the small driveway. 

The Agents had opted to live as far away from the brewery as they could, wanting to make a safe and work free environment for them to escape to. It was a pale green  3 story victorian house with white accents, and a small front porch. Two white rocking chairs moved slightly in the wind, and a white porch swing on the far right end swayed with them. A black and white rip n dip doormat sat under a black double front door, the words "go away" floated next to a white cat flipping any visitors off. A purchase Pom had made while online shopping in the wee early hours of the night. One that Alicia and Dena had found rather hilarious and Carey had simply shaken her head. 

“I’m gonna murder your boyfriend, he’s as dumb as a fucking rock, I swear it!” Alicia exclaimed, walking towards the front door of the shared home, twisting her head this way and that in a vain attempt to pop her still stiff neck.  She could hear Pom curse at her under her breath. “What was that? Use your words miss ma’am” Alicia teased, knowing Tequila was a nuisance for Pom. He had been Alicia's friend first, and one-day on a whim she had invited them to a carnival accompanying the rodeo that was in town. Soon, the three of them were inseparable. Tequila however soon developed feelings for Pom, his endless pining no secret to anyone. The ex-rodeo clown meant well, and when he wasn't trying to convince the southern beauty to go two-stepping with him, the two got along very well. 

“I said he ain’t my fuckin’ boyfriend,” Pom responded, she was frustrated but smiled all the same. She reciprocated the crush but put her job as a Statesman agent first. She refused to let anyone or anything jeopardize her career. The brunette removed the brown cowboy hat sitting on her head, using it to fan herself in the heat, waiting for Alicia to unlock the front door. 

“Whatever you say!” Alicia sang, throwing the door open. Pom followed the woman into the entryway, shutting and locking the door behind her. The smell of delicious food wafted towards where the two girls stood, as they began dispensing the arsenal of personal weapons they had into their designated shelves in the entryway. Pom hung her hat on the hook on the wall next to the door. Alicia groaned, taking her box braids out of the ponytail she had forced them into, massaging her scalp. 

"I don't know how you can stand having those things pulled back like that!" Pom said, emptying her pistols before placing them back in their holsters. 

"Trust me, one I'm gonna shave my head, and I only kept them in because I spent so much on them for that one assignment. Why waste money? Carey Ann, is that your cooking I smell?" Alicia called, making her way further into the house. She paused a moment, kicking her shoes off in the mudroom off to the left. 

“Yup! I’m in the kitchen, y’all! Make sure you leave your shoes in that mudroom, I just swept!”’ Carey called out to them from the direction of the kitchen. 

Whatever she had been making since she had come home had made the house warm and cozy, the warmth of the oven lightly combating the aircon. Carey was the oldest of the four women living in that house. She had recently moved to New York, assisting Agent Whiskey in running the New York office. Occasionally, she would return to their humble abode in Kentucky. Most household responsibilities fell on her, their other roommate Dena had been away for almost a year on assignment in Europe seeking out an alleged brother agency. Usually, Pom and Alicia were left to their own devices, sticking to take-out orders, or the occasional soup and grilled cheese combo Alicia cooked up. It wasn't often Alicia or Pom cooked, let alone cleaned. It was nice to have their Agent Mom back in town.  

Pom hastily unzipped the sides of her boots, sliding them off to reveal her cute space patterned socks, ‘The best feeling ever is taking your shoes off after a fuckin’ long day of work.’ she thought to herself. Pom’s hair stuck up in odd angles, no secret the hat that had been resting on her head all day. She combed her fingers through it, the brown tresses fell to her shoulders in thick, uncontrollable waves. 

“It’s good to see you here, and not on a fucking screen, ma’am.” Alicia snooped through the pots on the stove, hungrily eyeing Carey’s homemade fried pork chops, mashed potatoes, and mac & cheese warming idly on the stove. Alicia only two kinds of southern cooking, her Grandma Beaulah's, and Carey's (a close second).  

"Yeah, bitch. I thought you might have forgotten about us.” Pom called out from the living room, where she had placed herself comfortably down on the couch, flicking through something on her phone. She sighed, still no response from Whiskey. Had she upset him without realizing it? ‘Fuckin’ Whiskey, I wish he could’ve told me instead of ignoring me like a dumbass.’ she thought, shutting off her phone and tossing it to the other end of the couch.

“Well, if y’all acted 24 and 25 years old and not little children, you wouldn’t need me to come home to cook and clean for y’all. Dena hasn’t even been here and she still keeps her room clean!” Carey teased, swatting Alicia’s hands away from the food. Even if she had been present, Dena and Carey were definitely the neatest of the four. Carey had tried in vain to get the other two younger women to help, even going so far as to leave everything to pile up. It had taken a roach crawling across Alicia's face one night in her sleep to finally get them to step up. Now they kept a chore list on a dry erase board in the laundry room, and the katsaridaphobic agent no longer left dirty dishes in her room. 

“Girl, they’re clean. And for the record, Pom and I do take care of ourselves! For example, I did all the laundry in the house and Pom got rid of that possum that was living in the roof. Perfectly responsible.” Alicia said smugly, giggling as Pom chimed in quietly from her spot on the couch about the ‘Cunt ass possum that tried to eat her fucking face even though she had given him a slice of ham as a fucking peace offering headass’. 

“Pom, why don’t you come join us instead of mumbling with your colorful vocabulary from the couch; the food is ready.” Carey laughed, shaking her head at her roommate's antics. She grabbed the rolls out the oven, before removing her apron and oven mitts. She moved to pull a pitcher of sweet tea out of the fridge, and then stood back proudly to admire her work. Dinner was served. 

“You sound like my fuckin’ mom,” Pom uttered as she hoisted herself up from the couch, making her way into the kitchen to wash her hands. 

“I may as well be. But enough bickering, I missed y'all two!” Carey said, carrying her plate of food to the table where Alicia already sat eating. 

“I’m not really hankerin’ for anything, but thanks, Carey. I love you…fuck head.” Pom told Carey with her unique version of affection, leaning against the island in the kitchen and removing her rusty-colored jacket from her body. Pom's jokes and colorful nicknames were her own brand of love, and while it was offputting the first time she called you something like "hoe bag", you learned to acknowledge the underlying "I love you".  

“Well at least stay and sit with us, I’ve got something to tell y’all,” Carey said, patting the chair next to her. She needed to tell somebody about how she and Jack had recently started seeing each other. She figured he had already told Tequila, and felt justified in telling the girls. Pom sat down in the chair with a grunt after placing her jacket on the table. 

“Oh do tell, this wouldn’t happen to do with a certain mustached cowboy would it?” Alicia batted her eyelids, and suggestively wiggled her eyebrows. Pom knew exactly what this conversation was going to lead to. She wasn’t a fucking idiot; she noticed every small exchange between Carey and Whiskey, it was just something she had an eye for. The two had known each other for over two years and had recently started to go out with each other seriously. It was a wonder they hadn't started fooling around sooner.

“W-well...about that” Carey giggled nervously, maybe she wouldn’t tell them after all. 

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Carey Ann! Are you fucking Ole Jack Daniels?!” Alicia exclaimed, pointing her fork accusingly at the shorter Agent. Pom couldn’t help herself from letting out a loud chuckle, moving her long legs to sit cross-legged on the chair. 

“Alright, fine. Whiskey and I may or may not have been seeing each other exclusively for the past year while I’ve been back and forth from New York.” Carey said, casually taking a sip from her glass of tea, the clinking ice cubes being the only sound for a brief moment. 

“I fuckin’ knew it!” Agent Rum pronounced with great amusement, looking over at Carey with a menacing smile. 

“YAS BITCH, OH MY GOD! Tell us everything, and I do mean everything!” Alicia said, standing up and playfully pulling Carey into a noogie. 

The girls laughed, Carey pushed Alicia back into her chair before smoothing out her blonde curly hair. Carey was glad that the girls hadn’t reacted negatively like she thought they would. She had missed this comradery with the girls while staying in New York; she leaned forward fully retelling everything that had been happening. It was nice to finally be home. 

* * * * * 

Pom Graham was awake earlier than the rest of her housemates, as usual. Most nights she would stay up until midnight listening to her favorite kinds of music and trying to gain motivation to do her beloved hobby of painting. But she never slept for long as her natural body clock woke her up just a few short hours after she fell asleep. Still, she was always filled with so much energy. 

Pom tip-toed out of her room and down the flight of stairs in hopes of not waking her friends. She was already dressed in her usual outfit that the others rarely saw her out of. The living space downstairs was decorated with rustic, but comfortable furniture and pots of greenery scattered around. Photographs and posters could be found on the walls. 

She threw herself on to the couch in front of the large, technologically advanced television. With a press of a button on the remote, the screen came to life with the morning news channel. ‘Boring.’ Pom thought, ‘Carey must have been watching it last.’

“The daughter of beloved Kentucky senator, Xavier Dobios, is still missing and it’s sending everybody into quite the state of distress…..” Said the monotone voice of the news reporter on the TV. Pom scoffed at his words. 

“Fuck off, ‘beloved my ass’” Pom returned in a sharp whisper, smiling with amusement. She clicked another button and the kid’s channel started to play. Pom never really liked to watch television, but when she did, she would always turn on the channel that entertained her most.

“Good morning, Pomegranate.” Came Carey’s sweet but groggy voice from the doorway leading into the kitchen. Carey was dressed in cute, pink pajamas and her hair was quite the mess. She let out a big yawn. 

“Mornin’, you’re up early,” Pom responded, turning her head to give Carey a nice smile. Carey walked back into the kitchen to start preparing coffee and breakfast for herself and her housemates. 

“What do you want for breakfast? And I know you don’t like coffee, so what do you want to drink?” Carey asked from the kitchen to Pom. She sat there thinking for a moment before answering. 

“Peanut butter toast. And some water. Bless your heart, Carey.” Pom returned gently. Carey was surprised to see how calm she was. She was used to seeing the hot-tempered, mischievous, and swearing version of Pom. But she appreciated seeing this side to her too because Carey knew that’s who she really is. Pom never failed to make her laugh and smile. 

Carey made food and coffee with the sound of Pom watching the kid’s channel playing in the background. Alicia probably wasn’t going to be awake for a few more hours but Carey poured her a cup of warm coffee just in case. 

“I don’t know how you have so much energy all the time, Pom,” Carey said as she sat on the couch next to Pom, handing her the plate of peanut butter toast and a glass of water. She sipped on her own cup of coffee just the way she liked it. 

“I’ve consumed so much fuckin’ sugar in my life that I’m constantly on a sugar high.” Pom joked to her friend, smiling. Carey laughed, the sound mixing the soft sounds of the old Victorian settling over them. It wasn’t often they got a morning to themselves, and they knew they’d have to head to work soon, but for now, HQ could wait.

“GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!” Alicia yelled, bounding in the kitchen shattering the quiet moment the girls had settled into with their breakfast. Carey and Pom sighed, watching as she effortlessly leaped onto the island in the middle of the kitchen. Her gray sweatpants slung low on her hips, her lilac sleep shirt wrinkled, and her braids still wrapped up in the bonnet on her head; she looked crazy.

“What in Sam Hill are you doing?!” Carey said, standing up and rushing to try and push the taller woman off. 

“I have some good news, bitches! Dena’s coming home sooner than we thought!” Alicia was elated, it had been almost two months since Agent Sangria had been in contact with Statesman, and more importantly her roommates. She had been advised to keep all communications, few and far in between. Should there be a brother agency, it would be in Statesman's best interest to not alert them of their presence in their territory; what if they were a rogue organization? The return of the lively Latina was definitely a cause for celebration. 

“Wait, how do you know?” Carey asked, realizing that Alicia wasn’t budging off her pedestal. She looked over at Pom who looked just as puzzled as she was, no one had any recent contact with Dena. Everything had been dark. Pom got off the couch to get closer to them.  

“Well, as y’all know, I spend most of my free time in the lab with Ginger. And I was able to create a concealable communication device!” Alicia said proudly, taking what looked like a normal bottle of concealer. But the girls knew better, Alicia was a crazy tech wiz and inventor. Her and Ginger both could put Tony Stark to shame.

“How does that shit even work… it’s fuckin’ makeup.” Pom questioned. She couldn’t remember the last time she had set foot in the lab, or the last time she wore makeup. Pom would rather be training and being troublesome with the male agents than behind a vanity or in a lab coat. 

“Listen, I know it looks a little out of sorts but I promise it works! And the cosmetic part of the contraption is fully functional.” Alicia opened the packaging and did a swatch of the makeup on her arm. A perfect match.

“Say we can’t take any phones or even our glasses with us? Who’s gonna suspect a woman with a compact mirror and bottle of concealer? The idea is we use the idea of the fragile female that men have created against them. But my feminist spiel aside, I talked to Dena and she should be here by the end of next week!” Alicia got down from the counter, slipping her “concealer” into the front pocket of her black backpack. 

Pom leaned against the counter as she smiled, "You’re a genius.” She said to Alicia softly.

“I’m no Ginger Ale, but I try! Also, I’ve been making a bat prototype for you in the lab! I meant to surprise you for your birthday but I can’t wait any longer.” Pom smiled at this. Alicia started to continue but paused. The Statesman designated ringtone grew louder from where it was playing on their tv. Well, duty calls.

The three agents made their way into the living room, Carey grabbing the remote from its spot on the ottoman. Once they had all settled themselves on the comfy couch, she pressed the answer button. 

“Good morning, Angels!” Champagne greeted; the great window behind his head visible on the tv screen. It wasn’t uncommon for Champ to contact them while they were at home; saving more discreet missions for the four of them to take care of. It saved time, resources, and quite frankly more lives than if they were to send Whiskey, Tequila, or any of the other male agents instead. Hence the moniker, “Angels”.

“Good morning, Champ!” Alicia crowed, shifting to sling her legs across Pom and Carey’s laps making herself comfortable. Pom hastily grabbed Alicia’s feet from her lap and started to tickle them with no remorse, and her loud and mischievous laughs filled the room. 

“Would y’all stop? Jesus Christ.” Carey said, pushing Alicia’s legs off the couch and inserting herself between her and Pom. “Sorry, Champ, continue please!” Carey said, turning her attention back to the man on the screen. Pom was holding back her laughter as best as she could. 

“Well, when y’all are done horsing around, I have something for y’all to take care of. As you know, the senator is hiding his daughter trying to make it seem like she’s been kidnapped. Tonight, he is hosting a gala to impress some of the big wigs in the country and gain more support. I need y’all to infiltrate the gala and expose this sun’ a bitch before he can carry this tomfoolery on any longer.” 

“Do I gotta dress all fancy and shit?” Pom asked, pulling her jacket tighter around herself. She had makeup, she hated dresses, and if she didn't hate her unruly hair getting in her face, she'd hate doing it too. 

“I would prefer it if you did. The senator is very conservative, and has a strict dress code for this event.” Champagne said. Pom sighed angrily at this. 

“Awe, c’mon, Pomegranate. I thought you liked playing dress up.” the screen expanded to show that none other than Agent Whiskey sat next to Champagne at the grand mahogany meeting room table. 

“Whiskey!” Pom exclaimed with joy. A big grin was on her face now. She tucked her messy waves of hair behind her ears. Pom could feel her heart racing with pure happiness. Whiskey was the closest thing she had to a father, and she practically glowed in his attention. 

“Howdy darlin’, you ready to join your old man on the dance floor?” Whiskey tipped his hat, grinning at the young agent. 

The adopted father and daughter duo were the best partnership to come out of Statesman; Whiskey having taken Pom under his wing, saying that he saw himself in her. A troubled girl who needed a little guidance and TLC, and had unfathomable potential. Whiskey had promised Pom’s mother that he would ensure that the young woman would be taken care of while she was in the states. A promise that had been well kept. 

“While I’m all for sappy reunions, I need you, girls, to get gussied up and make your way to that gala ASAP! I’m sending Whiskey to pick y’all up at 0800, We got a party to crash.” Champagne said, ending the video call. 

Alicia stood and looked at her phone, an invitation addressed to a Penelope Vontrapp, and associates lit up her screen. “Well Miss Pom, or should I say Miss Penelope; it looks like you get to play the part of the daughter of some rich oil tycoon.” 

“Fuck you, I’m not wearing any fuckin’ makeup!!” Pom said while jumping off the couch to sprint up to her room before the others could stop her. 

“YOU’RE LUCKY THEY’RE MAKING A BIG DONATION IN YOUR HONOR! OTHERWISE, I’D BE FORCING YOU INTO A DRESS AND PUTTING SOME BLUSH ON THOSE CHEEKS!” Alicia shouted up the stairs, knowing that Pom was going to put on the same suede pantsuit she wore to all Statesman functions. It would be a cold day in hell before anyone forced her into a dress, and Alicia knew better than to even try and wrestle her into one.  

“Will you curl my hair, please? May as well get some joy out of tonight.” Carey remarked, making her way up the stairs. Alicia noticed the sad air around her friend, she stopped reaching out to grab her friend's arm. 

“What’s wrong? You were all chipper early, now you’re all….” Alicia made a fart noise with her mouth, hoping it would bring a small smile to her Carey’s face. 

“It’s nothing, I promise. Just forget it, okay?” Carey pulled her arm away, continuing up the stairs. But it wasn’t really anything. Was it right for her to feel a little envious that Whiskey hadn’t acknowledged her? Had Champ told him something? Or was she just overthinking? Either way, they had a mission to focus on, and this worrying and pining could wait. 

(a/n: thank you all for reading and standing by while i get in the swing of things. i now have a masterlist, and post with who and what yall can request will be coming soon. <3 roach)

Why Nagorno-Karabakh and Why Now? Several months ago, I wrote that things had been tense on the Nagorno-Karabakh conflict zone since the collapse of the USSR, but only now are we hearing of a resumption of active hostilities, the deployment of heavy weaponry and heated engagements. Observers on the ground have no doubt that the heaviest fighting in years is going on, and this is only the early stages of what may develop into a larger geopolitical conflict, involving proxy sources. Each side is posting videos of their forces destroying the heavy armour of the other. Both Azerbaijan and Armenia may be playing to a domestic audience by mobilising, but Turkey is involved too. As ever, anything involving military aggression in support of an ally also plays well for a Turkish domestic audience. Outside meddling in the Azerbaijan-Armenia conflict is nothing new, and one should keep in mind that much is below the surface. Different actors have different reasons for wanting this conflict to either remain frozen or escalate, and what happens will be governed by how much these actors respect each other, or don’t. Moscow and Washington may be happy for the conflict to stay frozen, as they can then pursue their own agenda, goes the traditional theory. Those who don’t like either Moscow or Washington, either now or historically, see a potential geopolitical victory over both sides in resolving the conflict by force when the big boys have failed to do so. All the while neither country fully develops, and the status quo is maintained, at least in the case of Azerbaijan. After thirty years, negotiations have not worked and the populace of Azerbaijan is tired, seeing others spout off about “territorial integrity” while not being interested in restoring its own. Mutual Cards House Select Committee on Intelligence Chair Adam Schiff (D-CA) was the first US Congressman to condemn Azerbaijan’s alleged pre-emptive attack back in July, saying, “I am very concerned by the recent provocative and destabilising actions taken by Azerbaijan in recent days along the Armenian border, including the shelling of Armenian soldiers.” His diatribe continued with “how these actions must also be viewed in the context of Azerbaijan’s consistently bellicose rhetoric towards Armenia and Artsakh, and its refusal to allow international monitoring of their borders. I urge the State Department to make clear to all parties the need for restraint and diplomacy, and reduced tensions.” Making such statements about one side of a conflict is hardly going to reduce tensions. But Schiff is talking to Armenian donors to his campaign chest, and Armenian voters in his district. The Armenian lobby has always been better organised than the Azeri one, another factor which might propel Azerbaijan to war against what it sees as the rest of the world. But that very imbalance of international support can be used to win friends. Back in the 90s MEGA Oil, a US-CIA proxy company, was importing fighters from Afghanistan to fight on the side of Azerbaijan to keep some balance on the battlefield. The Azeris could not fight, as they lacked training and equipment, and seemed to have no taste for it. But an Armenian victory would have benefitted Russia, its greatest ally, more than the US, and, however, much the US listens to Armenians, it wouldn’t want that perceived threat to its own interests. Turkey obviously supports Azerbaijan, as it is a fellow Turkish nation. Once again, the Turkic Council, this little-known international forum few are interested in, is showing that it is more ruthless than any other in achieving its aims, which are ultimately about the religious and ethnic cleansing of the highest order. Turkey now needs to relocate Syrian operatives and other US/Saudi trained and paid “freedom fighters,” and is glad the opportunity this long-frozen conflict presents. With all sides playing what appears to be a very big game of chicken, a sudden influx of mercenaries with nothing else to do is certain to change the situation in Turkey’s favour—or at least that was the plan. All Of A Sudden The conflict has been more or less frozen since 1994 when Armenia occupied not only Karabakh itself, which is ethnically Armenian, but several districts surrounding it, which are not. Armenia argues that this has actually prevented further conflict, but the US used the same argument to destroy the Native American population, and Argentina’s “disappeared” died of the same logic. Things are spinning in a different direction now with offensive fighting, and pro-war rallies in Baku. Several weeks prior to the start of fighting in July I personally saw lots of Green Evergreen containers, freight forwarding company, crossing the Georgian border. Border guards and customs officials both told me that it was not possible to check them, but agreed that weapons were within. I wouldn’t put anything past Ankara either, despite the danger of Turkish engagement in the Caucasus inviting an immediate and strong response from Moscow. The two governments have already locked horns in Syria and Libya, but this has not dissuaded Turkey from pursuing an ever more openly aggressive international agenda. Sheep in Wolves’ Clothing The bits and pieces I have read about who has started it this time just don’t add up. What is written says nothing, which is why I am all the more suspect, especially about pro-war protests. Take for example, “… thousands of protestors rallied earlier in the centre of Baku, calling on the government to mobilize troops and retake Nagorno-Karabakh. News outlets estimated that 30 to 50 thousand protestors gathered in front of the parliament building.” Why now, and why is this one of the international news items chosen to be reported? If the Azeri are tired of this frozen conflict, tens of thousands of them are not going to come into the streets demanding further engagement with it unless they think they can end it on terms they find acceptable. So, who has guaranteed what, and why are they bothering? However, the move towards conflict is still more likely to have come from the Azeri side. Armenia has done pretty well out of international sanctions and blockades imposed since 1994. These have enabled it to remain friendly with Russia, its only real supporter, and find a way for good terms with the West, without compromising its national independence. No other regional state can do this, but if the conflict ended, Armenia would have to find a wider group of friends and sink back into the pack like the rest. It is money paid by US and Turkish defence contractors, and therefore by the US government indirectly, which is painting the conflict in a new light. Azerbaijani oil prices are low, Dutch Disease is running rampant, there is little diversity in the economy and corruption is well-ingrained and supported by networks of patronage (especially the ruling family). Armenia has similar problems. The Pashinyan government has been highly criticised by a wealthy and influential political and business figure, Gagik Tsarukyan, and some legal and political backlash has been felt in this case. The trial of former president Kocharyan is also sputtering along in fits and starts, and a major reform package directed at the country’s Constitutional Court has also brought up significant controversy. But none of that dents Armenia’s dependence on Russia, and the benefits it is gaining from that which the US never wanted it to. It seems the US wants Armenia back in the pack, and this is the way of getting it there. Certainly, it will act as this is a regional affair to be sorted out by the local players, diplomatically or by brute force. Old Hands Make Light Work Who might be linking these indirect US government funds to the Azeri side? No one is ever likely to put their head above the parapet. But as often happens in this region, the name Matthew Bryza is one which keeps coming into the frame. Bryza was once the US Ambassador to Turkey, and subsequently Azerbaijan. He is married to Zeyno Baran, a Turkish-born foreign policy analyst at the Hudson Institute. She has worked with Neo-Con think tanks in the past, which is why Bryza kept insisting in interviews that he no longer worked for the (Bush) White House but for the State Department, even when he was not being asked a question about this. In 2005 Baran told a US Senate hearing that she opposed the Congressional resolution on the Armenian Genocide, a position generally seen as partisan as that of Richard Verrall’s book on the Nazi atrocities, “Did Six Million Really Die?”At the same time, Bryza was busy telling reporters that Turkey was his “second home,” and was removed as Ambassador when he too made statements opposing the Armenian Genocide. Bryza is no longer a diplomat. He claims to earn his living as a consultant on “business and democratic development,” which is a not very subtle way of saying that he is still finding new markets and areas of influence for his friends, but is no longer restricted by diplomatic protocols. But he is still a regular visitor to Turkey and is a board member of Turcas Petrol, which is linked to the Party of War in the US and the corporate interests behind it. His explanation is that Turcas is “a private company that is traded on the Istanbul stock exchange” but “has no affiliation of any sort with the Turkish Government (or the Azerbaijani Government). In fact, the Turkish Government’s energy policies often work against the commercial interests of Turcas.” This is despite the fact that Turcas is an affiliate of SOCAR, the Azerbaijan state oil company. Through this, the Azerbaijani and Turkish governments either own, fund or sponsor most business in the Caucasus, thereby buying off many politicians along the way. In Georgia in particular, you see a connection with SOCAR (share ownership, personnel, supply) whenever you look at the lists of business owners, or investigate the many businesses whose known real owners do not appear on the published lists. This helps explain why Georgia, having partly reformed itself since the Saakashvili years, is no longer the regional arms smuggling hub but has simply exchanged illegal arms for semi-legal oil. Turkish and Iranian business interests have been subject to investigation in Georgia on charges of oil smuggling. New, modern-day versions of MEGA Oil, US-funded companies, have inevitably been involved. These include Frontera Resources, a company which once ostensibly left Georgian, but re-entered it when a new US Ambassador was appointed. Following this, the Government of Georgia suddenly decided not to terminate its contract with Frontera Resources Georgia Corporation, under hard US pressure, and allowed the company to continue operating in part of the original contract area, where oil has been produced since Soviet times. The justification used for this at the time was that this was necessary, “especially in times of low oil prices and heating up conflicts.” The phrase “heating up” cannot refer to new conflicts but to dormant ones which are starting again. Making such a comment casually, when talking about a seemingly unrelated issue, is an old trick for establishing in the minds of listeners that everyone knows a conflict is going to heat up again. Which conflict is being referred to, and to whom is it inevitable that the fighting will resume? You Know Who Still Knows Too Much Do we have anything else which will support this assertion? In the words of an old radio show, “It’s That Man Again.” If the US is up to something by proxy, it always chooses the same, compromised mouthpiece. The aforementioned Mikheil Saakashvili, the President of Georgia when Bryza was the US envoy to the region, can’t live in Georgia anymore because he is wanted there on a multitude of criminal charges. Having been ratlined out to Ukraine and given a job in its government, he was also expelled from there facing more criminal charges. He has since lived in Poland and Hungary, also US allies like the other two countries, where he likewise faces multiple criminal charges. Saakashvili has more criminal indictments against his name than Al Capone and Pol Pot put together. Yet his US protectors (for now) present him as a politician and buy him column space in newspapers that otherwise don’t care about him, or are sick of seeing his name. Misha has suddenly reappeared from wherever he is hiding now with the following statement: Nagorno Karabakh is Sovereign Territory of the Republic of Azerbaijan and nothing will change it. What does he have to gain by saying this, especially now, given how many Armenians live in Georgia, and he ruined his own relations with Azerbaijan by making advances to Aliyev’s wife? All Saakashvili has to live for is the continued protection of his handlers. They want to build a climate of opinion in which everyone expects Azerbaijan to go to war with Armenia over the injustice of the Armenian occupation. The Azeri government and people may not be interested, but they can easily be blackmailed or at least manipulated by international opinion pointing fingers at them for not doing what they expect, as if they are not worthy of support, independence, or office. However strong the Armenian lobby is, the US interest is paramount. An ongoing war, and funding committed to it, always ensures policy continuations in election years, regardless of who wins those elections. The US wants this war, and its Armenian lobby will donate more to politicians who blame Azerbaijan for it, in the hope of getting more US themselves in return if Azerbaijan is successful. The only question is how much Turkey will be blamed for pulling the trigger when it is all over.

Esoteric Empathy Rant

Probably a lot of you have seen @edhellenarn‘s post about esoteric empathy and the necessity of empaths staying in their own lane, so to speak.

I wanted to just make a separate post to add a bit of my own thoughts. Suffice to say, I agree with most of what the OP is saying, but there is more that can be said, as well, concerning the modern “empath” identity trend as it has developed over the years.

The main problem I have with a lot of folks who self-identify as empaths is, well... they seem to lack empathy, and will often minimize other people’s trauma and/or attempt to invalidate the perspectives and experiences of others. 

By “lack empathy,” I mean that they usually are very preoccupied by the alleged “suffering” their “gift” causes them, unwilling to listen to possible solutions, and generally turn things into a pity Olympics, especially on social media sites like Facebook.

I had one lady in a group go on at length about how her empathy was so strong that she couldn’t leave her house, even to take out the garbage, because the pain others caused her was so great, despite all the crystals she’d gotten to help her ground herself.

When I suggested maybe she should consider cognitive behavioral therapy in lieu (or in addition) to the crystals and try to get herself to a better place, she made a separate post implying that I was an “inauthentic” person and a “psychic vampire” trying to feed off of her by having the gall to suggest she might need someone to talk to like that.

It’s weird because I wasn’t sealioning or anything - I genuinely thought my comments might be helpful. I mean, I have certain empathic abilities myself and CBT really helped me cut through a lot of stuff in order to hone them and become a better friend to those I care about.

Oh yes, “psychic vampires,” the favorite topic of the empath world. That and “narcissists,” even though most of these people know fuck-all about psychology or what NPD even is. 

I was in one group on Facebook for a while, just for empaths, and almost every single post was someone going on about all the evil narcissists in their life.

Oh, their spouse is a narcissist! And it turns out their boss is, too, and the mailman, and oh, they need to buy six more crystals to counteract this horrible assault.

I never tried it, but I’m pretty sure if I’d brought up that NPD is an actual mental illness (not some magic energy suck woo thing, either), I’d have been banned and probably declared to be a narcissist/vampire myself.

That seems to be the favorite tactic of a lot of the more toxic in the New Age psychic/empath community - “Anyone who questions me is a narcissist and therefore evil.”

I’ll be honest, I don’t actually know that much about NPD, but I’m pretty damn sure a personality disorder doesn’t make someone a reprobate evil energy sucker or whatever. 

I mean, sure, if someone in your life is acting toxic, you can and shoot evade them, regardless of whether they have a mental illness or not but... c’mon. 

I don’t believe it when these folks claim every single person they disagree with, dislike, or interact with unfavorably is a “narcissist.” I mean, really, plenty of people with or without mental illness can be abusive; no reason to turn a personality disorder into some big bad woo bogeyman.

 If anyone reading this knows a bit more about NPD, I’d love to get a perspective on this, because, like I said, my experience with personality disorders is limited and I’m no psychologist.

And plus, the whole thing just reeks of “spectral evidence” in a witch trial.

It’s basically, “Some people are evil, but I can tell they’re evil and warn people! Even if nobody else knows!” It’s pretty easy for someone who’s set themselves up as psychic to target their enemies by claiming to “sense” something that nobody else can prove.

On that note, some of the most cringeworthy moments I’ve seen have involved the “empath” identity folks trying to talk about mental illness. As I said, they seem to see NPD (and sometimes, any personality disorder) as some kind of evil woo-woo thing. To me? That’s asinine, completely.

When it comes to mood disorders like I have, they tend to write them off as “misdiagnosed empathy.” In fact, a lot of sites and blogs around the internet (less so on Tumblr) will whine about the evils of psychiatry and how it’s just an attempt to suppress the magical empath gift.

The thing is, none of the people saying this seem to understand what (for example) bipolar disorder actually is. 

They seem to think it’s just moodiness or feeling sad sometimes. It’s kind of impossible to explain to them the realities of mania and depression because most people will never experience them.

And, if you use a bit of logic, you can easily see why (in most cases) bipolar disorder wouldn’t be “misdiagnosed empathy.” The mood states you see in bipolar are, by definition, neuroatypical.

They aren’t seen “in the wild,” in neurotypicals. It’d be impossible to experience a mania empathically from being around a bunch of regular people because regular people do not experience mania.

I guess that maybe if you’re an extremely strong empath and constantly around someone with bipolar, you might deal with blowback from their moods, but I doubt it because I don’t think most people’s neurology is even conducive to having those experiences. I’m no neurologist, though, and I could be wrong.

So yeah, I get tired of people telling me I just need to “ground, center, and shield” like a good lil empath, and how my meds are “dampening” my “gift.” I usually just change the subject whenever it comes up because it’s easier than explaining how mania and depression actually work.

I mean, if anything, those experiences seem to make me (might not be true for everyone) less able to read other’s emotions, because the low self-esteem that came with my depression just caused me to assume the whole world hated me.

So yeah. I think the “empath identified” community is in dire need of cleaning itself out a bit and reformulating how it approaches this kind of thing.

On Tumblr, there are many genuine people and many genuine empaths, and you barely see any of this kind of thing on here. Still, I’ve seen enough of it out in the world that I thought it was worth posting/ranting about.

At this point, I rarely dare even call myself an empath (even though I definitely have an esoteric empathy “thing” going on, particularly with animals) just because I don’t want to be associated with this.

That doesn’t mean the concept is irredeemable, though - there’s been a lot of good books written recently about empathy, managing and honing it.

I recommend almost all the works of Raven Digitalis on the subject (Everyday Empath and Esoteric Empathy), and, heck, a lot of “mundane” books on CBT and even DBT can help with improving your functioning and best using your gifts.

I hope this post isn’t too offensive to everyone - I just wanted to get this off my chest, since I’d been pondering it for a while.

A step-by-step handbook for destroying a man's life with lie.

INTRODUCTION

A s women, we have been oppressed by men's physical advantages over us since the beginning of humankind.

But now, in today's modern societies, the tables are finally turning.

Especially with the advent of the Internet and social media, and the economy's transition from

manufacturing to information, women are leveraging their natural advantages (e.g., social skills, emotional intelligence, and communication) to gain power.

You've probably utilized these advantages to some degree already, in one form or another. For example, as a child in school, I recall the boys using physical strength and aggression (e.g., punching) to bully girls. That was their power. Girls, on the other hand, used communication and accusation (e.g., spreading rumors) to undermine boys. This is our power!

The purpose of this handbook is to be a resource:

a collection of tools and techniques that have proven

powerful in women's struggle against patriarchy. I did not invent these methods; I only describe them. Be advised, however, that the methods outlined in this handbook were chosen for their utility, or their ability to achieve results, rather than for their legal or ethical merit. In other words, the information presented herein does not purport to be legally or ethically sound. What is considered to be "right" or "legal" often changes with time, tl1e prevailing culture, and the evolution of law.

This handbook is a work of free speech. How the content is used, misused, or not used is at the sole discretion of the reader, and I (as the author) retain no responsibility. Similarly, I'm publishing this book under the pseudonym of Angela Confidential to protect from backlash.

Enjoy!

Just a little sample of what's in this book.........

CHAPTER 1

THE DAMN FUNDAMENTALS

Let's begin with some introductions. We have three key friends, or fundamentals, that make it possible to destroy a man now (DAMN). To DAMN well, it's important to know them well.

Our first ally is Allison Allegation. Allegation an be so simple, effective, and easy to employ that it's elegant. An allegation is a claim, usually without proof, that someone has done something illegal or wrong. A claim, at minimum, requires nothing more than an assertion.

For example, if I yell from a roof top that the world is flat, I have successfully made a claim. Similarly, identifying wrongdoing requires only observation, recollection, or a minimal amount of imagination. From lying to murder, any behavior that you've heard of, seen, experienced, or can think of that violates an ethical or a legal standard can suffice for an allegation.

However, it's the last part of what constitutes an allegation that makes it uniquely useful: no evidence is required.

This independence from proof allows you to make an allegation about any man doing anything without being encumbered by a need for facts.

But how can something as intangible as the spoken word, without evidence, have enough merit or power to DAMN? Admittedly, if left completely on her own, Allison Allegation has relatively little power.

That's where our other two friends, Mary Media and Arthur Authority, assist.

Mary Media, our second ally, encompasses just about any means of communication. Media can be as elementary as whispers of gossip, although nowadays the term most often refers to mass communication platforms such as television, the Internet, or mainstream media networks. Of course, it also includes social media, such as Twitter and Facebook, which you will soon see are especially well suited to DAMN.

So how does Mary Media help Allison Allegation?

Well, interestingly, they help each other. You've probably heard the philosophical question, "If a tree falls in the woods, and no one hears it, did it make a sound?"

Although the answer to that question is still debated, it's certain that if an allegation is made and no one knows about it, it has no power. Fortunately, however, the opposite is also true:

the more people who know about an allegation, the more powerful it becomes.

Thankfully for Allison Allegation and for our purposes, the modern mainstream media excel at spreading information far and wide. They do it to make money-lots of money-from advertisers. Yet advertisers need more than just a way to reach people; they also need a way to get people to pay attention to their advertisements (and ultimately buy products).

This is where media content comes in. Media content can be videos, website posts, "breaking news," and so on anything that garners interest. And it's no secret that scandal attracts people's interest especially well. "Sex sells," as the saying goes, and so does violence, injustice, misconduct, and anything else outrageous. That's why scandalous content in mainstream media has increased over the years. That's also why Mary Media helps Allison Allegation: scandalous allegations attract people's interest, interested people watch advertisements, advertisements sell products, and it all makes Mary Media money.

However, fascinatingly, while the mainstream media profit from proliferating allegations, they bear little responsibility for doing it! Apparently, as long as the media mention that the scandal is an "allegation," they are relatively safe from legal repercussions.

This is because, in free-speech societies, people can voice opinions and unsubstantiated claims. Further, the media can always attest that they are not making the allegation; rather, they are just reporting it.

But, in truth, the media actually do help "make" the allegation by how they report it. You probably know that how you say something can convey greater meaning than what you say. For example, I could say, "I'm happy," but ifl scream it angrily, people are much more likely to believe I'm upset. With that in mind, try listening carefully to how mainstream media say the word "allegation" when reporting a story. Either they say it in a positive tone, as though it's something good, or they say it quickly, as though it's insignificant. They also use the word "allegation" or "alleged" instead of using terms such as "unsubstantiated claim" or "accusation without proof" to deemphasize that evidence is lacking. Even more cleverly, after the media make an allegation popular by broadcasting it far and wide, they then circle back later and broadcast how "so many" people are talking about it.

Further, they support people who make allegations by promoting them as courageous for "coming forward." These tactics get even more people interested and encourage others to make similar claims. Finally, the media then cite the increasing number of allegations and growing public outrage (that they helped create) as being "too numerous to be ignored" or as "evidence" of truth.

In a court of law, a man is considered innocent until proven guilty, but in the court of media-managed public opinion, a man "serially accused" of a scandal is guilty until proven innocent. In this way, an allegation does not require evidence to DAMN because, through media manipulation, it becomes its own evidence.

Thousands-even millions-of people can become organized against one man.

Likewise, the "evidence" and public perception of guilt created by Allison Allegation and Mary Media's synergy can become so prominent and powerful that our third ally, Arthur Authority, has a duty to step in.

And it's authority that really helps us put the "destroy" in DAMN!

Authority is defined as any person or organization that has the power to control, direct, punish, and so on, which is exactly the kind of power we need to DAMN. Examples include police, judges, bosses, human resource departments, boards of directors, teachers, professors, university councils, licensing and regulatory agencies, and so on. Ultimately, it's authority that plays the final role in condemning a man.

So what do we need to know about authority to DAMN? Well, to begin, it's important to understand that Arthur Authority is an artifact of patriarchy and chivalry. As "Daddy Knight," he takes pride in his role as guardian and savior, especially of the weak, mistreated, violated, and so on.

He strives to be the hero who saves the damsel in distress. In other words, authority caters to victims, and nothing gets Arthur Authority's attention more than a call to action to save victims.

To be considered a victim, or a damsel in distress, authority first needs to perceive you as weak. Surprisingly, a great illustration of this is how authorities usually relate to men in distress. Can you imagine what typically happens when a man walks into a police precinct and requests a restraining order against a woman?

Officers roll their eyes, and immediate dis-

belief ensues. T his is because they simply do not perceive a man to be weaker than a woman, and for that reason, they are unwilling to provide assistance. In contrast, in patriarchal societies, women are perceived as weak by default, and therefore deserving of help and protection in the eyes of authorities.

Second, for the weak to attain victim status, authorities also need to perceive them as harmed or violated.

In other words, authorities require a credible claim that a legal or an ethical standard has been broken in order to take action (because it's their duty to enforce standards).

As we now know, we can look to Allison Allegation to make the claim and to Mary Media to make it credible. Nevertheless, it's still important to emphasize that authority is most likely to help us DAMN in instances that entail an apparent violation of specific laws or codes of conduct-the more egregious, the better.

Examples are numerous, including rape, sexual harassment, discrimination, physical assault, child abuse, substance abuse, and dishonesty in its many forms (e.g., lying, cheating, fraud, etc.).

Also-and this works surprisingly well-keep in mind that with the media's help, allegations against authorities can be used to motivate authority to take action!

Just about any widespread allegation about an authority being remiss, ineffectual, or negligent in its "guardian and savior" role will suffice. For instance, a televised allegation about a company ignoring sexual harassment in the workplace is enough to motivate the company's human resources department to hunt the accused man and anyone who failed to report his scandalous behavior to HR!

Once authorities decree that there is a victim of a violation, they can take punitive actions against the perpetrator (i.e., "destroy" a man).

Punitive actions usually entail substantial loss, such as termination of employment/loss of income, loss of education or certification (e.g., dismissal from school or revocation of credentials), loss of social status or good reputation (e.g., public shame and humiliation), loss of financial savings (e.g., payment for legal settlements), and loss of freedom (e.g., imprisonment). In addition, the combined actions of Allison Allegation, Mary Media, and Arthur Authority generally result in ongoing loss or the loss of future opportunities. In this way, a man is truly damned.

With a smeared reputation or record of alleged misconduct, no one will want to be associated with him, no one will want to employ him, no one will want to help him, and no one will even believe him.

Further, the subsequent long-term stress frequently results in loss of physical and mental health.

When I say these methods can destroy a man, I genuinely mean it.

Moreover, these methods actually do destroy men, even powerful ones. There is no better testimony to how effective Allison Allegation, Mary Media, and Arthur Authority can be than the growing number of men they've destroyed (regardless of allegations being true or false).

Complete source

ENGLISH TRANSLATION (by me)

ZEITUNG ONLINE 11/11/19

Interview: Rabea Weihser

https://www.zeit.de/kultur/musik/2019-11/conchita-wurst-tom-neuwirth-queen-of-drags-heidi-klum

Conchita Wurst : "For me as a man, this is very difficult to discuss"

Is drag cultural appropriation? Tom Neuwirth alias Conchita Wurst sits on the jury of the new Heidi Klum show "Queen of Drags" and must hear many allegations.

Tom Neuwirth just turned 31 years old. At 17, he reached the second place in the Austrian talent show "Starmania" and was a member of the boy band Jetzt Anders for a short time ! In 2012 he took part in the Austrian preselection for the Eurovision Song Contest (ESC) for the first time in the guise of his art figure Conchita Wurst. The protest was big: Should a woman with a beard represent the country? Two years later he tried again and won the biggest singing competition in the world for Austria. Now Neuwirth has gotten rid of the long hair and released his third album "Truth over Magnitude". As of November 14, he will appear on the screen of the casting show "Queen of Drags" alongside Heidi Klum and Bill Kaulitz on ProSieben. Since the announcement, there has been strong criticism of this broadcast format - especially from the queer community. How does Neuwirth handle it? We meet him in October in a hotel in Berlin, he sits down and hums a happy fanfare.

ZEIT ONLINE: Mr. Neuwirth, you have short hair and now appear as Wurst, without Conchita. From the press release for your new album, we take that is now your "masculine-edged" contrast program. Does it always need an art figure that embodies a certain facet, or at some point you can sometimes say, "My name is Tom Neuwirth and that's all"?

Tom Neuwirth: I have the feeling that I am now as close to my private person as never before. Maybe last was when I was 17 and at Starmania. I constantly get the question: Is it him or her now? I then always entice myself to open a drawer to explain to people what is actually going on. In the end, it's just me, and sometimes with a wig, sometimes without, sometimes masculine, sometimes feminine.

ZEIT ONLINE: Without this glamorous costuming you are probably much more approachable, even for the fans.

Neuwirth: Of course, I notice that without the wig the situations in which people recognize me become more and more frequent. And I'm not sure how funny that is. Barbara Schöneberger once said that she would not be recognized on the street if she did not wear make-up. I'm trying that too. (laughs out loud)

TIME ONLINE: Not really, right?

Neuwirth: Of course it's a double-edged sword. I have understood in recent years: The lightness and the world in my head are not always compliant with a First Lady Conchita in a pencil skirt and well-shorn hair. What I'm doing now is part of my personality that I have not lived up to now in a female appearance. I've always danced to electro music privately and thought to myself: Why do not I make music that I like?

ZEIT ONLINE: Does Truth over Magnitude mean a musical cut or is it more in your production?

Neuwirth: I had created a President's wife and worked and lived according to this protocol. I lost myself after the song contest. Musically, of course, it's a different sound, although on my first studio album, I already had numbers that were relatively electronic. But they did not get that much attention. And so, yes: it was probably the larger cut optically. It was the bald spot. It freed me.

ZEIT ONLINE: With this bald head you were in February at the side of the Austrian Minister of Justice Josef Moser (ÖVP) at the Vienna Opera Ball. When you won the ESC as a bearded lady five years ago, especially conservative politicians made a derogatory remark. Heinz-Christian Strache, Vladimir Putin, Jarosław Kaczyński ...

Neuwirth: Everyone was there. Thanks for the attention. (Laughs)

ZEIT ONLINE: How do you assess the situation of trans people and homosexuals in Europe today? Could you do something with your presence?

Neuwirth: I think that something has changed in the media mainstream. Even when I talk to teenagers, I notice a sensibility that I did not know before - that's when I'm being reprimanded when I say something wrong. And that, I think, is a beautiful development. But I tend to forget that I live in a bubble too.

ZEIT ONLINE: We have to talk about the great mustard yellow lacquer stilettos you are wearing right now.

Neuwirth: You can tell that I'm from Los Angeles. I looked at myself today and thought: Ah, there is a bit left over!

ZEIT ONLINE: You were in California to shoot with Heidi Klum and Bill Kaulitz the new ProSieben show Queen of Drags. This is a format inspired by Ru Paul's Drag Race, a talent show for drag queens that is very successful in the USA.

Neuwirth: Let's say what it's like: Ru Paul's Drag Race has shown a growing generation that individualism is great. This has been consumed in my community for ten years. And that has also made us a bit stronger. But when I see a couple of two women or two men in Vienna, I think it's nice, but I still notice how special that is. And I believe, as long as that is still the case, we can not say that there is equality.

ZEIT ONLINE: The German audience knows Dragqueens rather in the form of Olivia Jones, Lilo Wanders or Mary from the jam advertising. They called them Tunten and always liked to bring them as birds of paradise in front of the camera, if it should be colorful or even slippery. So, if you've only seen this before, you may be wondering, what is Drag?

Neuwirth: We all make drag. We go out in the morning with our worklook, our working face, and that is already a form of metamorphosis. In this culture of stage performance, drag is a total work of art by a person who must have an incredible number of talents. In the most understandable sense, it is the illusion of a female figure.

ZEIT ONLINE: ... portrayed by someone born in the body of a man?

Neuwirth: Not mandatory. There are also women who make drag. There are also heterosexuals who make drag. There are no limits, and that's great. At Queen of Drags, we have guys who portray their version of a female illusion. This is sometimes very close to reality, with beard, others have rather created an alienesque being. I said to all my friends, they have to try dragging once.

ZEIT ONLINE: Why is that important?

Neuwirth: This mask you put on makes you uncompromisingly yourself.

ZEIT ONLINE: If you put them back then ...

Neuwirth: No. Quite simply said: You disguise yourself and this shield is a bit unrestrained. You have other conversations, you are safer in your skin. One alienates and then comes to himself. The next day, when the make-up is down, you may not be as sassy as last night. But you have learned something emotionally, and you take that with you. To see how far your own character is, how much fun you can have with you: this is one of the most beautiful experiences you can do.

ZEIT ONLINE: Cologne Carnivalists would probably say so synonymous. Is it important for this borderline experience to change into the opposite sex?

Neuwirth: No. But the illusion of the opposite sex is a bit stronger than, for example, a toadstool costume. Because, in this case, you get in touch with your female side, which is what many boys do not do, gay or heterosexual.

ZEIT ONLINE: Drag is really a pretty committed subculture. Were you traveling in this scene before you thought up Conchita Wurst?

Neuwirth: I think I was in Drag for the first time when I was 15. I went out and never felt better and more comfortable. The Drag scene in Austria is not really big, but I was looking for my stages somehow. I moderated or sang shows, danced wherever I was allowed to. When I took part in the preliminary round of the Song Contest for the first time in 2012, suddenly there were so many opportunities for me. And I was allowed to travel. Here in Berlin, I met and understood Barbie Breakout, Melli Magic and Gloria Viagra: Ah, that's the sisterhood that everyone is talking about. I love this drag community so much because we can all be a little bit more than we want. With all our emotions and sensitivities and our ego sense of being. But when the going gets tough, we stand up for each other.

ZEIT ONLINE: Every year at carnival time is discussed whether in view of the colonial history, children are still allowed to disguise as Native Americans. Miley Cyrus was scolded in 2013 because she was twerking, and actually only black women with round butts do. Canada's Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is in for trouble because he went to the carnival 20 years ago with a dark face as Aladdin. If one wishes to continue this thought, one could also call drag a kind of cultural appropriation: men, who are generally in a stronger social position than women, play womanhood for entertainment. How do you see that?

Neuwirth: That's very interesting. And in certain parts that's probably true. I also found myself in situations when I worked with colleagues and the press afterwards wrote: I was great and she was vulgar. Then I realized: Oh, I'm still a white man. This imbalance prevails and it is absolutely right to think about it. It is true in part, it is an appropriation. But I think skin color is not a costume.

ZEIT ONLINE: What fascinates you about this appropriation of femininity?

Neuwirth: I was raised by strong women, I love women. The first almost 20 years of my life I listened almost exclusively to female singers, everything else I found boring. Empress Elisabeth or Maria Theresia were also such inspiring personalities, and that cultures inspire me is just as legitimate. But it is incredibly sensitive and difficult to handle properly.

ZEIT ONLINE: A flow of feminism criticized the Drag especially the representation of exaggerated female characteristics, while fighting for equal rights and reduce gender stereotypes. In modern societies, men become slightly more feminine and women more masculine. Why does the drag scene love the conservative female look?

Neuwirth: I breathe individualism. And I would find it terrible if suddenly we were all unified. I'm not concerned about gender roles. My point is that everyone recognizes his own color and paints himself with it. But why should not an overly feminine woman like Pamela Anderson be a feminist?

TIME ONLINE: This feminist current would now answer: she can not be a feminist because her looks are based on the satisfaction of the male sex drive. If she keeps dressing like that, she betrays women fighting toxic manhood.

Neuwirth: But why ... For me as a man, this is very difficult to discuss because I will never understand it authentically.

ZEIT ONLINE: This is the core of the discussion about cultural appropriation. The social or psychological pressure on marginalized people can not be understood from the outside. Do you have the right to disguise yourself as her?

Neuwirth: How could one find an answer to that? I put on clothes, because I find it stunningly beautiful. And not because I think about stepping on someone's neck ...

ZEIT ONLINE: ... or, if you agree with the image of those who may find it beautiful?

Neuwirth: Yes! I'm sorry, in my world it's all about me. I have only one life and I would like to have it as nice as it gets.

ZEIT ONLINE: The criticism of your participation in Queen of Drags must have met you. Especially drag queens have publicly lamented the sell-out of their subculture. Is not it also a kind of cultural appropriation by Heidi Klum, who is not a drag queen, to profitably use this subculture as an entertainment program?

Neuwirth: Maybe. I take this opportunity to bring the drag theme into mainstream and find that Heidi, even if she is not from that scene, has an absolute right to judge a performance. She comes from entertainment and is probably one of the most famous German-speaking people. Would this format have been achieved without her? Maybe not now, or maybe never. Or maybe on a slot, where nobody would have been interested. She is of course a multiplier and a very sensitive one. The criticism was incredibly loud, and I was a little bit confused, because our community always strives to be inclusive, inclusive and without prejudice towards people.

ZEIT ONLINE: I read a quote from the drag queen Dita Whip regarding the jury constellation: "Finally Conchita Wurst will sit next to the extrovert over the top Heidi and watch, powerless how Klum and ProSieben clog their pockets at the expense of queer culture."

Neuwirth: (laughs softly) I would not let that "powerless" stand. (laughs louder) I talked to my friends because I too needed to be sensitized, especially with regard to this cultural appropriation. I am relatively naive and draw my inspiration from everything I see and experience. I was told that financial enrichment was the main problem. And I can understand that for a while. I hope, but also that our Queens have careers according to this format and can do what they like most every day. I focus on that. Not that this statement is now total nonsense, but I think the truth is in the middle.

ZEIT ONLINE: Can I accuse you of opportunism?

Neuwirth: opportunism? I need a translator now, please.

ZEIT ONLINE: Once you said in an analogous sense: Maybe my career will last another 20 years, I just take everything with me. Let ProSieben pull you out of the car to bring credibility to the show?

Neuwirth: Oh, opportunism!

ZEIT ONLINE: There is money, attention, airtime. Is it justified to offend parts of the sisterhood? Or say, "Yo, run with me, that's the business"?

Neuwirth: I have received many such inquiries in the last few years. It took us until we got to the point of being able to realize this show. And I'm probably not an opportunist. I'm just fired up if anything interests me. I am a drag race fan and I come back from L.A. with a full heart. Of course it's a huge show and I love to be in the limelight, I love being in the spotlight. At the same time, I consider myself selective and do not do everything. I hoped that this project would be more personal to me than just a TV show. And that's what it actually has become. It was so much fun that I just hope it translates to the audience. It was just awesome.

Mariah Carey: Top 10 Most Iconic Songs

To celebrate the holiday season, which has really become the season of Mariah Carey this year, and “#All I Want For Christmas Is You” finally becoming a #1 single, I am sharing with you my “Top” lists of MC songs every Monday and Tuesday up until the 25th. For example, we’re going to start things off with the Top 10 Most Iconic Mariah Carey songs; on Tuesday, we’ll look at remixes. All songs mentioned these lists can be found on streaming services (e.g. Spotify and Apple Music). That means deep, deep cuts like “Slipping Away” off the B-side of the “Always Be My Baby” single, and “Help Me Make It (Through the Night)”, Mariah’s cover of a country song, which aren’t available, aren’t included. Unfortunately, that also means the entire Glitter soundtrack will not be mentioned as it is not yet available for streaming. #JusticeForGlitter #Loverboy2020 Let's make Loverboy MC's 20th #1 in 2020!!

To explore the most iconic MC songs, we have to look at streaming numbers (based on Spotify data, accurate as of Dec. 2019), MV views (based on YouTube data, accurate as of Dec. 2019), appearances on concert set lists, but also it’s prevalence outside of the Mariah fan base. “Butterfly” is an iconic ballad within the fan base, but pales compared to another empowering song like “Hero”, which non-MC fans most likely know even if they hate Mariah.

Is the list TL;DR? No worries. I compiled each list into a respective playlist, starting from No. 10 and ending at No. 1, so you get to listen to the Most Iconic MC songs while on the go.

https://open.spotify.com/user/jdiep95/playlist/1T0OU0p1cjR82LV1XX7f7j?si=AT9_aL0kSgmxySvIasZjsw

10. “My All” Butterfly

No. of streams: 37 182 150

MV views: 142M

“My All” makes its way into almost all of MC’s concert set lists since its release in 1997, appearing most recently in Mariah’s Caution World Tour. In this way, it gathers a lot more exposure than some of her other #1’s, such as “Dreamlover” or “Honey”. Despite its relatively low number of streams compared to other songs on this list, the number of views for the main music video is actually placed sixth on this list, and for good reason. The MV for “My All” is arguably the most artistic of MC’s catalogue, if not at least the steamiest. The video is in black-and-white, and features Mariah Carey floating on water with cutscenes of some hot model. The song appeals to a more specific audience, mainly adults, but the incorporation of Latin guitars will evoke a certain headiness seen only in a handful of Mariah songs.

9. “Vision of Love” Mariah Carey

No. of streams: 25 938 743

MV views: 25M + 2.6M*

*Includes a live version from the Daydream World Tour released on Mariah Carey’s official Vevo channel

This may be confusing; overall, “Vision of Love” received the least views and least streams of any of the songs listed here. Why is it not last on the list? Unlike “My All”, this song is one for the entire family. Don’t believe me? Many popular artists of the 2000s cited this song as their inspiration, including the great Beyoncé. Besides the complex runs, which becomes more complex in the live version, “Vision of Love” is a peer into Mariah’s vocal range, from her lows (E♭3) to a signature whistle note (C7), and a blend of genres, including pop, R&B and gospel. Even if it spawned a generation of over-singing vocalists, this was MC’s debut, a tour de force that inspired a new generation of singers. And thanks to its prevalence in Mariah’s concert set lists, it could very well even be inspiring this new generation.

8. “Fantasy” Daydream

No. of streams: 85 048 626 + 24 904 151*

MV views: 58M + 11M*

*Includes the “Bad Boy Fantasy Remix” featuring O.D.B.

“Fantasy” is a bop, and arguably the song that pushed Mariah to super stardom. Despite being nominated in six categories and controversially winning nothing on the night of the 38th Grammy Awards, Daydream cemented MC’s status in the music industry. “Fantasy” was the album’s leading track, and it became the first ever single by a female artist to debut #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. It stayed there eight consecutive weeks. If the pop version isn’t iconic enough, with the music video featuring Mariah riding on a roller coaster, the remix with O.D.B. is arguably just as famous, if not more so. The “Bad Boy Fantasy Remix” introduced the featured rapper formula into mainstream music, a formula that’s practically standard in the industry nowadays.

7. “Always Be My Baby” Daydream

No. of streams: 148 422 869

MV views: 162M

Yet, the numbers for "Fantasy" cannot compete with this song. A reason for this is perhaps a lack of airplay; “Fantasy” is danceable but there’s no hook.“Always Be My Baby” was the third single off the Daydream album. After breaking records with “Fantasy”, by debuting at #1, and “One Sweet Day”, for logging 16 weeks at #1, “Always Be My Baby” debuted at #2 and logged only 2 weeks at #1; however, the stats show how age has affected the song’s popularity with the MV views for “Always Be My Baby” doubling those of “Fantasy”. “Fantasy” takes more of a backseat in Mariah’s concert set lists. “One Sweet Day” almost faded into obscurity before it made a resurgence this decade when songs like “Despacito” and “Old Town Road” rivalled its chart records; it’s also made a reappearance on set lists. All of this is to illustrate that “Always Be My Baby” has always been a staple, a favourite amongst fans and the general listeners. The song has many great Mariah moments, but what really latches on and sets the ground for “Always Be My Baby” to play on is the opening “Doo doo doo”. This song does what “Fantasy” didn’t do, and that’s creating a feeling. The song and the music video is a perfect pairing. You listen to the song, and you are reminded of sitting by a firepit, reminiscing about a significant first love that’s no longer, the exact imagery that’s been replicated by the MV; this is probably why it has so many views.

6. “Touch My Body” E=MC²

No. of streams: 64 797 196

MV views: 185M

“Touch My Body” is Mariah’s second-most recent #1 single of her 19 chart-toppers, and the leading single to the 2008 album E=MC². Although its release was in the middle of February, the song really transports you to an eternal summer. The song received its fair share of critiques, including more than a couple that said “Touch My Body” lacks Mariah’s 5-octave range; nonetheless, if MC’s previous album, The Emancipation of Mimi, was MC’s comeback, this single solidified her status as 'the diva' with a new decade of listeners. It’ll be wrong to think, however, that Mariah wasn’t in on all the fun as well, and this is why the MV has its views. The music video is a fantasy sequence of Mariah flirting with Jack McBrayer in a mansion. After her comeback, this was Mariah’s way of going back to doing something that defied the critic’s expectations. With The Emancipation of Mimi, she proved that she still got it — the range, the ability to write hits, the star power; "Touch My Body” brings back the Mariah we have come to love in the past decade — the extravagance, the luxury, the seeming aloofness. For a moment, “Touch My Body” captures MC having fun, and the simple structure of this song reflects that.

5. “Obsessed” Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel

No. of streams: 82 625 131

MV views: 127M + 15M*

*Includes the remix featuring Gucci Mane

“Obsessed” gained new life this year, ten years after its initial release in 2009, with the #Obsessed challenge on TikTok. Teens were creating choreography for this song, and simultaneously propelling Mariah to becoming Queen of Memes, one of MC’s many titles. The opening to “Obsessed” breathes new life into a line borrowed from one of Mariah’s favourite movies, Mean Girls, “Why are you so obsessed with me?” This line, along with “I don’t know her”, has its place in meme culture. Besides its relevance to a new generation, its iconicity can also be contributed to the fact that it's a high profile diss track that attacks Eminem’s harassment, but it’s pop, not rap. Its conception introduced a new generation of pop artists to using their tracks as a way to call-out others. “Obsessed” resurfaces perennially when Eminem decides that his almost-two-decade old alleged fling with MC somehow deserves another mention. Maybe she’s the best thing to have happened to Eminem? Lyrically, “Obsessed” is one of Mariah’s sharpest, with her directly calling out Eminem’s desire to make something out of nothing; see: “you hatin' hard/Ain’t goin' feed you, I'm a let you starve/Graspin’ for air, and I'm ventilation/You out of breath, hope you ain't waitin’.”

4. “We Belong Together” The Emancipation of Mimi

No. of streams: 210 251 706

MV views: 399M

“We Belong Together” is Mariah’s comeback track. Regardless of whether she knew this song would make it big when she was writing it, this song would live on in the history books as the song that told skeptics that Mariah ain’t going anywhere. “We Belong Together” is very stripped down — it’s Mariah singing on top of a piano and a beat, then Mariah singing on top of herself in the chorus. For a song about unrequited love, which Mariah usually packages as being more upbeat than it should be (see: “Always Be My Baby” or “All I Want For Christmas Is You”), “We Belong Together” is incredibly visceral. It’s a sad song and it shows, and somehow Mariah communicates the frustration and swirling of emotions so well that you might even tear up by the end when she holds that fifteen-second note. The other unique thing about this song is that she sings the lyrics as if it’s a rap, very reminiscent of her earlier hip-hop inspired tracks like “Breakdown” ft. Bone Thugs-n-Harmony, an overlooked fan favourite. Try singing it without ever practising, and you’ll find that MC placed words in a very specific rhythm. This song also introduced the ‘Mariah-ballad structure’, a formula that she continues to follow for many of her ballads: It consists of an absent bridge with a belted last chorus that takes its place. And as for the MV, Mariah elopes with a lover in a car while wearing the same Vera Wang wedding dress she wore at her real-life marriage is as iconic as it gets.

3. “Emotions” Emotions

No. of streams: 41 251 987

MV views: 32M + 2.7M* + 9.9M**

*Includes the Club Remix

**Includes the MTV Unplugged live version, and the 1993 Here is Mariah Carey live version

There’s a reason “We Belong Together” didn’t crack the Top 3: It’s strictly a song about unrequited love. Mariah, alone, has quite a few of those in her catalogue. And there’s only oh-so-many occasions in which to bring back this song unless it’s already part of your daily repertoire. If Minnie Riperton’s “Lovin’ You” takes first place for the most iconic use of whistle notes in a pop song, “Emotions” no doubt takes second; however “Emotions” has to take first for inspiring every pop singer and their grandmas to use whistle notes, from Christina Aguilera and Leona Lewis to Ariana Grande and Tori Kelly. Yes, “Emotions” is a love song, similar to “We Belong Together”, but it’s also a learning tool for many aspiring pop and R&B singers — this song is a resource. It’s like learning music theory and referring back to Mozart and Beethoven. “Emotions” contains those whistle notes, all the up to an E7, but it also contains low notes (several C3s), high belts (F5s and G5s), head notes (the “You” in G5), repetitive phrasing from C5 - E5, a couple of sustained E5 belts, and melismas. In the live versions, you really get to observe MC’s stamina as we goes through the song with ease. And if you compile all of the live versions of “Emotions”, Mariah demonstrates five full octaves from B2 to B7. Simply put, “Emotions” is an encyclopedia of vocal virtuosity for rising and seasoned singers.

2. “Hero” Music Box

No. of streams: 99 556 980

MV views: 236M + 5.7M*

*Includes a live version from the Daydream World Tour

There’s a thing about “Emotions”, and it’s best if I told you through an anecdote: I played this song in a classroom once, and one of the 5-year olds asked why she [Mariah] was screaming in the song. Blasphemous, I know. Arguably though, the whistle notes are more well-known than the actual song itself. But “Hero” is one of those instances where you know the song, even though you don’t think you do. Just listen to those opening piano notes; flashes of the entire song will surely follow. Not surprisingly, this is the first ever MC song I’ve ever heard; I heard it when I was seven because we had to perform an ASL version of it, but I didn’t know it was Mariah at the time. I didn’t know until possibly a decade later when I thought back on the signs, and the lyrics “And a hero comes along” popped into mind. Obviously, this list is tinged by my own biases; however, “Hero”, this song about loving yourself, and finding that hero within yourself, is special, not only to the fan base, but to anyone who needs a pick-me-up, even if they’re not Mariah fans. It’s radio-friendly; it’s singing competition-friendly (it only goes up to an E5, a mid-belt for Mariah; for reference Idina Menzel goes up to E♭5 in “Let It Go” and “Into the Unknown”); it’s graduation-friendly; and it’s concert-friendly, considering Mariah almost always ends her concert with “Hero”. It’s a sappy song, one that Mariah initially didn’t like, but she explains that she sings it every time because you never know who might need it.

1. “All I Want For Christmas Is You” Merry Christmas

No. of streams: 595 428 506

MV views: 602M + 11M*

*Includes the alternative Black & White version, and Unreleased Video Footage version

Perhaps you can avoid unrequited love, high notes, and graduations, but in North America, can you really avoid winter? With winter comes holiday season comes Mariah Carey, Queen of Christmas comes “All I Want For Christmas Is You”. Released in 1994, this song has finally reached #1 on the Billboards Hot 100 after 25 years. MC released a handful of versions, including a re-recorded, Disney-sounding version in 2010, and another with Justin Bieber in 2011, but let’s make it clear that the version that makes a resurgence every year, and that we all hear on the radio, is none other than the original 1994 recording. The original recording which was never released as a single was not allowed to chart in ‘94, but ever since Billboard updated its rules to allow songs to re-chart in the Top 50 in 2012, “All I Want For Christmas Is You” has made a reappearance every year. It broke into the Top 10 for the first time in 2017, then the Top 5 in 2018. It’s hard to best something when it’s already so close to perfection, if not perfect. “All I Want For Christmas Is You” is such a definitive holiday-pop standard that it’s been broken down into a two-part formula. The formula finds it’s way into many of the new released Christmas songs hoping to make it big, which in some ways are their downfall because it sounds disingenuous, particularly in a season where sentimentality drives sincerity, or at least the façade of it. This two-part formula that it has inspired includes: (A) Wrapping up a unrequited love song to sound like an upbeat Christmas song; and (B) The “Wall of Sound” sound originally created by Phil Spector, which includes a underlying chorus line, a strong accompaniment, and the use of symphonic instruments. You’ll find at least one, if not both, pieces of the formula, whether it’s intentional or not, in recent holiday songs such as “Mistletoe”, “Underneath the Tree”, “One More Sleep”, “Santa Tell Me”, and even “Christmas Tree Farm”. Walter Afanasieff, the co-writer of this song, said, “Back then, you didn’t have a lot of artists with Christmas albums,” and with that he meant in the ‘80s and ‘90s, rising stars didn’t record an entire studio album's worth of Christmas songs. Whitney didn’t have one yet, Madonna didn’t have one (and still continues not to have one), Michael stopped doing them when he recorded under Epic Records in 1979; and y’alls are probably thinking of Wham!’s “Last Christmas”, but that was a single. Despite Mariah initially not wanting to do a Christmas album, and as pessimistic as this may sound, Merry Christmas has re-introduced the lucrative Christmas song business to pop singers.

We may remember this decade’s Mariah — a diva with shaky performances, but this two-dimensional image erases the gut-wrenching, tear-jerking efforts she put into the two previous decades. MC was a trailblazer, and continues to be one as you will see in the upcoming lists. To say that Mariah leans only on past achievements, and relies too heavily on titles like “Queen of Christmas” or “Queen of Memes” diminishes the fact that the upkeep of the legacy she’s built for herself requires time and hard work.

OG!Peter Vincent assorted headcanons, Part Five

He’s a very animated and energetic storyteller who would hold the room rapt for as long as he’s willing to talk.  And shame on Charley and Alex for ever getting bored with them because he tends to echo the mood of his audience–if they’re having trouble focusing, he’ll have trouble focusing and eventually wind down into a more easygoing and reflective mood.  Peter’s never angry with people who aren’t as willing to listen, mostly because he gets so involved with his own tales that he’s instantly in an unshakably better mood.

Hosting movies with werewolves in them or vampire movies with wolf transformation scenes became a lot harder for him after everything that happened with Evil Ed and Jerry Dandridge, and it’s hard for him not to have small panic attacks between bumpers.  To help comfort himself and make himself feel better about the viewing audience, he’ll sneak in small reassurances to anybody out there going through the same thing.

Peter Vincent wears sock garters.  It’s canon now.

Peter firmly believes he counts as one of the “worried well.”  His relative privilege compared to most of the people he knows (how many of them used to make four figure salaries per movie for thirty years?) convinces him that he doesn’t need help as much as other people do, regardless of what else he goes through.  Besides, the only actors he’s aware of who check into outpatient care of any kind eventually die from it (poor Bela Lugosi is the example that often comes to mind), and he’s much too proud for that; plus, the only reason he was ever admitted to a mental hospital was through a misunderstanding.  Thus, he’s avoided any kind of counselling for years and keeps saying he doesn’t need it–he doesn’t have it nearly as bad as so many others do, so why should he waste their time?

Peter is on the low level of the autism spectrum—probably Asperger’s syndrome or something similar. The biggest tell is that it seriously affects his sensitivity to touch; certain textures are downright disgusting to him, which is a big part of the reason he’s such a terrible cook.  He also must be handling something at all times; if he doesn’t have something in his hands to stim with, he will go and touch something just to help him feel more at ease.  Having so many of his old props in his apartment is a godsend for that reason. Not only are they collectors’ items, but they also give something to play with and show off whenever he has visitors.

An irritated Peter tends to be very passive-aggressive and snippy with whoever’s putting him in a bad mood.  He tries to maintain a proper filter and not say anything he might later regret, but he’s still going to make it very obvious through his body language (exaggerated affectation of whatever mood he’s “supposed” to be in, lots of eyerolls and dirty looks) that he’s not very pleased with you, and it’s best not to poke the bear lest he get truly angry and start snapping at whoever pisses him off next.

Peter likes to sing or hum as he’s cleaning his props.  He doesn’t have the vocal range for a lot of his favorite songs, but be prepared to hear “Penny Lane” and “Blue Skies” a lot.  And he does take requests if you decide to join him.

Nurkel was a stray who more or less happened upon him one day during the three years Peter spent estranged from Charley.  The poor cat was cowered in the cold outside the studio headquarters, and the actor took pity on him and threw him a couple of pieces of egg roll from his dinner. From there, the cat insisted on following him everywhere, including across the set, much to Mel’s annoyance. Luckily, Peter was introducing 1934’s The Black Cat that night, so he picked up the cat and worked his presence into his segments of the show.  And when the poor creature insisted on following him home in search of more food, he had no choice but to keep him, naming him Nurkel because he’s always liked odd, cutesy names for animals.  He’s a very skittish cat who yowls and spits at the slightest interruption or intrusion and for whatever reason, ever since that first night, has only shown Peter affection in small doses.  Most of the time, he just runs away or goes and finds something better to do.  And he has a very particular spot on the couch that he refuses to give up without loud complaining.  Peter’s not entirely sure why this is, but his most likely guess is that Nurkel came from an abusive home and isn’t quite sure how to handle being treated like an actual pet rather than as an accessory with four legs or something to just be kicked when he got in the way.  In any case, he leaves Nurkel to his own devices most of the time and only resorts to cuddling when the poor cat is hurt or severely agitated.

Peter was always sort of an odd duck when it came to the Hollywood “scene”. On one hand, he was an extrovert who loved attending cast parties no matter where they were held, relished getting to promote his films and meet new people, and was an unfailing charmer to anyone he met.  On the other hand, the Great Vampire Killer persona he was contractually locked into sometimes made it difficult to genuinely connect with people—he was always wondering whether or not they enjoyed the company of the character or the man beneath the character.  So as the years went on, he became less and less interested in making public appearances “out of character” since he was convinced by then that the persona was all people were really interested in.  That, and with the rumors of his sexuality forever circling, he felt he had to be careful interacting with certain people, and he came to resent that more and more.  And not only did he feel very far removed from the world of celebrity relationships because of bowing to fan preference, but his distinctly nonsexual leanings made it that much harder to relate as he listened to his fellow actors talk about their dating conquests (his reactions ranged from “Okay, whatever” to “Why would anyone be aroused by that?”).

One of the greatest scandals of Peter’s career—more than the speculations around his sexuality when it came to young extras and his alleged flirtations with Hazel Court, both of which were proven to be falsehoods—was his sudden and messy divorce from a friend of the McHoolihee family.  Miriam Callaghan’s marriage to Peter Vincent was purely one of his convenience: she was already a Scottish ex-patriot living in America, and he desperately needed a visa so he could continue making his films across the pond.  And he tried to make it very clear to her that her utility to him, her kindness he felt the need to repay, and the relative security the marriage provided were the only reasons he stayed—to say nothing of the fact that if anyone were to find out he was married, after all the fuss made about him being a “confirmed bachelor” (with all the ugly connotations the phrase came with), he would be professionally ruined.  Unfortunately, the message failed to completely sink in for Miriam—she had convinced herself that theirs was a genuine love match and never tired of trying to milk an affection and lustiness out of Peter that he just didn’t feel.  The fact not only did Peter never consummate their marriage, but also refused to publically acknowledge it, annoyed her to no end, and almost a decade later, she decided to get revenge.  At the premiere of Blood Feast on Broadway, in front of God and sundry, not to mention a mess of reporters trying to get a statement from the Great Vampire Killer, Miriam grabbed Peter by the lapels and kissed him.  In the resulting media wildfire, which caused studios and fans alike to wonder if Peter had been lying to them all this time, she went on record spreading a number of venomous lies about the actor and declared her intention to divorce him.  The court case that followed left him with nary a penny to his name, and Miriam disappeared with the settlement never to be heard from again.  To this day, Peter still regards it as one of his greatest personal shames and blames himself a great deal for how it all turned out…. if he had only been clearer about his intentions and ended things sooner, none of it would ever have happened.

Peter still has both of the rings from the marriage and was planning on pawning them off, but he felt too guilty to go through with it. They’re in a box in his desk now, and he’s not even sure what to do with Miriam’s ring anymore.  He would love to give it to someone he genuinely loves, but imagines that any partner he could find would be insulted to given a ring once worn by someone else.

this is to not offend you or convince you, just as info

the most prominent thing about the judge in UK was that his son worked in radio station, which is a part of murdoch group, which also has the sun. people from uk say that trials against tabloids are very difficult in general, as they are quite protected, so rather than in amber's pockets, it's more of the sun's pockets. there are also other links between people in this trial, you're free to think it's conspiracy, but you can also fact check this. https://poptopic.com.au/lifestyle/celebrities/exposed-the-sun-libel-trial-judges-son-works-for-rupert-murdoch/

judge ruled at one point that amber couldn't throw can of red bull, because she was wearing pyjamas, didn't have purse and didn't drink red bull - that was literally his whole reasoning. final judgment talks also about those incidents being "substantially" true, as this case isnt about proving what actually happened, but if there is enough on it, to say it was fine for the sun to write that article and if you cherry pick testimonies like with that red bull, then it's really easy. that trial had also some weird aspects for example whitney as a wintess was there next to amber for the entire time, while in usa all witnesses (except certain experts) are not allowed to even listen to other testimonies.

stephen deuters texts to amber are explained in his testimony and statement. basically he said that depp asked him to calm amber down in his name and that's why he decided to use same language as she did, so using the word "kick". he was also present in the airplane and according to him it was totally different incident than what amber says. whether you find it believable it's on you, but its not like those texts exist without context from stephen himself

as for the audios and lack of context, i'm gonna disagree on that, i personally listened to those in whole and the context makes them even worse for amber. especially the australia tape, which i don't think will be allowed to play due to the fact that there are many people on it, who didn't know they were being recorded, but maybe some transcript or bits will go into trial. however you can hear there amber saying while crying that she didn't mean to hurt him, that she's sorry, that she loves him and that he needs her. you can also hear dr kipper saying that she did that and that it's guilt talking through her. amber alleges a lot of things from australia, but the only thing that is mentioned in context of her state is jerry judge talking about those few cuts on her arm and how they look self inflicted. these people dont know they're being recorded, there is no reason for them to act, these are honest conversations. imo its the context that makes those tapes actually more damning for amber

No, his son works for a group that is essentially anti Murdoch. Either way, it doesn’t make any sense as to why anyone would be doing all this to protect amber when there hasn’t been an established connection to amber in general. Is that source you referenced legitimate???

From what I understand, trials against tabloids are difficult FOR THEM because the threshold of proof is much higher. Which made it noteworthy was that not only did the Sun not drop the case or settle, but they went to trial. The Sun had to prove their case and they were able to get 12 of 14 incidents approved as abuse.

It’s not weird, Johnny intentionally sued Amber in Virginia to limit how her evidence can be presented and how witnesses can be used.

I don’t know if that Stephen explanation doesn’t make sense or your explanation of the events is confusing.

It’s funny because others who’ve listened to the entire audio says that Johnny looks bad in the audio/video.

Oh I’m actually interested why you don’t recommend it. For me it was the first introduction to gay relationship on screen I guess. But if don’t wanna waste your time on it or you’ve explained it earlier, you don’t have to answer 🙈

coincidentally , glee was also the first time i’ve seen a gay relationship anywhere and realized it was a real thing i could actually watch and experience . same goes for the first trans person i’ve seen or heard of ever .  which is why i rewatched the show multiple times throughout my life and you can still find me singing along to some tunes from glee even today .

though , just because it has been quite a thing for me in the past and it still stays my guilty pleasure i very much am trying to get rid of , doesn’t mean it’s not problematic . because it is . why , you might ask ? well , let me answer that question .

first , we’ll start with the cast - a cast that’s just deeply problematic all over the place . i don’t think i need to mention the terrible crimes committed by mark sallling ( puck ) or the abuse allegations against naya rivera ( santana ) . “ but phillip “ , you might argue , “ all that happened long after the show finished and the creators had no way of knowing they employed at least one disgustingly horrible person ! “ 

fine then , maybe you’re right - though i still think that in light of those facts only no one today , when we do know who those people really are , should even touch glee . don’t you feel repulsed just by looking at your screen and realizing you see a pedophile in front of you ? i sure do !

but ok , all that aside - let’s talk about three main points of initial problematic casting i see in the show . first one is unquestionably and undoubtedly kevin mchale ( artie ) . do you know how many times they had to shoot certain scenes again or edit them in a different way than it was originally planned just because our buddy kevin over there tapped his foot to the beat of the music ? lots . do you know how they could’ve avoided such an annoying problem ? by casting an actual disabled person for the job ! and i don’t think i need to say anything else here .

next two ones are dot-marie jones ( sheldon ) and alex newell ( unique ) , both of which played trans characters on the show . you might be wondering , why does a female actress play a male character , and why does a male actor play a female character ? yeah , so am i . listen , i might get why they got dot-marie for the job . sheldon did appear in the series as female at first and was identifying as such for seasons , though they still could’ve cast a trans man by simply altering a couple of details . alex , on the other hand , is a much more questionable choice , because the topic of gender identity has been following unique from her very first appearance and there’s absolutely zero reason not to cast a trans girl for that role . 

but that ain’t even all of it . there , we just scratched the surface . now , let’s get to the show itself . 

first things first , the show has always presented itself as “ woke “ , as something that gave so many people good representation . and that just isn’t true . it did give people some sort of representation , but that representation was flawed and inaccurate at best , misleading and fundamentally wrong at worst . 

you might say : some representation is better than no representation . and even if i might agree with that ( which i arguably don’t ) , i am 110% convinced that this rule works only if there is no better representation in the world . some representation is only better than no representation when you either get said “ some representation “ or “ no representation at all “ . when you have good representation in a bunch of other shows , and this new show comes up and it’s a choice of basically “ shitty additional representation “ or “ no additional representation “ , we’d all choose to go rewatch any of the already existing shows with proper rep and tell that new show with shitty rep to fuck off . and , maybe i can agree with the fact that back in the day when glee was just starting it was a choice of “ some representation “ or “ no representation at all “ , and it was in fact better to have it than nothing back then . right now though , it’s surely irrelevant and much worse than so many actually good shows we have .

i don’t know when was the last time you rewatched the show , but when i did so not that long ago ( and when i suddenly realized it’s much worse than i originally remembered ) the first thing i noticed was how deeply biphobic it was . there was a lot of explicitly biphobic things said throughout the whole show and none of them were marked as problematic or fixed - they were all presented as either funny harmless jokes or unquestionable facts , when they were obviously neither of those things . and bi people weren’t the only ones who had to suffer through such jokes all the time - so did people of color , trans folks and disabled people - and that’s only out of those i can remember right now .

finally , the center piece is of course how stereotypical everything is . you can literally divide every character and every plotline into a simple stereotype and you’ll be fine - everyone will understand exactly who those characters are and exactly what those plotlines are supposed to represent , without even watching the show . and when everything is so stereotypical , what kind of “ good rep “ are we talking about here exactly ? 

the first thing proper representation does is it either fights the stereotypes or presents them in such a way that shows how complex the people who might partly fit into said stereotypes are and how they can’t simply be identified by this one or these couple of stereotypes , how that is by no means their full personality . glee doesn’t do either of those things , it gives exactly one stereotype to each character and that’s said character’s whole personality . but ok , maybe you need examples ? sure ! finn - the kind jock . kurt - the gay kid . artie - the disabled kid . tina - the goth kid . mike - the smart asian kid . santana - the angry latina / the bitchy lesbian . brittany - the stupid one . shall i continue , or is this enough ? 

but , i think i’ll stop on that one . to finish this off , i just wanna say that glee is a very outdated show . it might’ve been the first one to do a lot of things on tv , but - as i’ve mentioned before - they’ve done it very poorly . and back in the day maybe that was a good way to get the whole thing going : to get more rep , to get more diverse characters in shows , etc. but today watching glee can be either frustrating for those who understand what’s going on , or misleading for those who get their fundamental knowledge about marginalized communities from the show . and neither of those options is good or fun for anyone . 

so , at the end of the day , do i maybe think that glee was a necessary step to better shows with actual proper good representation ? yeah . but , does that mean anyone should watch it in this day and age ? no . in fact , i heavily advise to put it on a shelf and never ever touch it again . glee is like a potty . back when you were a toddler , it was an accomplishment for you to stop pooping your pants and start using the potty . now though , if you suddenly say no to the toilet for no reason and start using the potty again , it’s going to be far from an accomplishment - it’d mean you are deteriorating . 

Child Protective Services FAQ

You have to cooperate. If you do not cooperate, CPS will assume that you are trying to hide something. Try to get some information from CPS about what they want to discuss with you. You probably know why they want to talk to you. Consult a lawyer and get legal advice from you during your interview. If you do not have time to consult and attend the interview, follow these guidelines.

Be polite and helpful Show concern for your children Listen more than talk Ask CPS for accurate information, they will often use phrases such as "we have concerns" or "it has been complained" or "we believe" Don't guess about your answer to a CPS question Don't guess what other people knew or didn't know Don't say the following, "She'll never do that" "I don't believe it happened" "My child is lying"  Lawyers that fight cps cases near me.

Be able to clearly explain how your home is a safe home for your kids Be able to provide positive references that communicate frequently with you and your children Don't be angry At the end of the conversation, ask the CPS employee to summarize his or her discussion with you, the outcome, the steps he or she is considering taking, and the reasons for taking such action. 2. Do I need to have an attorney with me whenever I see CPS? CPS workers do not like lawyers. Unfortunately, a lawyer who is unfamiliar with CPS and takes the wrong approach when dealing with CPS can do more harm than good. An experienced CPS lawyer can help clear up issues, present your case positively, and reduce the risk of taking care of your children.

3. CPS wants me to bring my kids to their office for meetings. What should I do?

This is a setup. Never, ever take your children to the CPS office without your lawyer by your side. This technique is used by CPS so that you can hand over the children to them in the office instead of trying to remove them from your home. In short, take your children with you to CPS and you are likely to go home alone.

4. CPS wants me to sign a "safety plan" or they will take care of my children. What should I do?

A safety plan tells you that you must follow certain rules to keep your children at home. For example, in many cases, security plans will instruct you to remove an alleged abuser from your home, or to clean your home or to participate in counseling. You must ask yourself if you can follow the safety plan - if you can't, your children are at risk of being removed. You need to make sure that both you and the CPS understand that the security plan tells you exactly what to do or not to do. Many children are removed each year because CPS interprets safety plans differently than parents. Ask CPS when the security plan expires If no expiration date is given, you are at risk of having your children removed forever. As always, try to review the security plan with a lawyer before you sign.

The political dissident, linguist, and professor Noam Chomsky says the rest of the world thinks the U.S. media's Trump-Russia collusion allegation is a "joke" given the history of the U.S. in the last 135 years, and that if we are worried about foreign interference, Israel already influences more of American politics than Russia could ever hope to, in this interview with Democracy Now! "Take, say, the huge issue of interference in our pristine elections. Did the Russians interfere in our elections? An issue of overwhelming concern in the media. I mean, in most of the world, that's almost a joke." "First of all, if you're interested in foreign interference in our elections, whatever the Russians may have done barely counts or weighs in the balance as compared with what another state does, openly, brazenly and with enormous support," he said. "Israeli intervention in U.S. elections vastly overwhelms anything the Russians may have done," Chomsky said. "I mean, even to the point where the prime minister of Israel, Netanyahu, goes directly to Congress, without even informing the president, and speaks to Congress, with overwhelming applause, to try to undermine the president's policies--what happened with Obama and Netanyahu in 2015. Did Putin come to give an address to the joint sessions of Congress trying to--calling on them to reverse U.S. policy, without even informing the president?" "And that's just a tiny bit of this overwhelming influence." "I must say I don't pay much attention to television," he said about the news media's coverage of Russia in general. "So I don't know a great deal about it. But, in general, I think the media--first of all, Fox News is, by now, basically a joke. It's, as you said, state media. The other media, I think, are focusing on issues which are pretty marginal. There are much more serious issues that are being put to the side." Chomsky also said the president is "perfectly right when he says we should have better relations with Russia. Being dragged through the mud for that is outlandish." "Russia shouldn't refuse to deal with the United States because the U.S. carried out the worst crime of the century, in the invasion of Iraq, much worse than anything Russia has done. But they shouldn't refuse to deal with us for that reason, and we shouldn't refuse to deal with them for whatever infractions they may have carried out, which certainly exist. This is just absurd," he said. "Instead, what's being--there is a focus on what I believe are marginalia." AMY GOODMAN: Well, Barbara L'Italien said a lot there, but she was then cut off, with the shock of the Fox & Friends crew in the morning that they had the wrong Democratic congressional candidate. But this kind of media activism also just goes to the whole issue of the media, Noam Chomsky, the issue of Fox News becoming really state media, with--you have the person who supported the sexual harasser Roger Ailes, Bill Shine, now a top aide to President Trump in the White House. That's gotten little attention. So you have Fox being a mouthpiece for Trump and a place for him to hear what people have to say, and the other networks very much running counter to Trump, on certain issues, CNN and MSNBC. But your thoughts? NOAM CHOMSKY: Well, my frank opinion is that--I must say I don't pay much attention to television, so I don't know a great deal about it. But, in general, I think the media--first of all, Fox News is, by now, basically a joke. It's, as you said, state media. The other media, I think, are focusing on issues which are pretty marginal. There are much more serious issues that are being put to the side. So, the worst of--even on the case of immigration, once again, I think the real question is dealing with the roots of immigration, our responsibility for it, and what we can do to overcome that. And that's almost never discussed. But I think that's the crucial issue. And I think we find the same across the board. So, of all Trump's policies, the one that is the most dangerous and destructive, in fact poses an existential threat, is his policies on climate change, on global warming. That's really destructive. And we're facing an imminent threat, not far removed, of enormous damage. The effects are already visible but nothing like what's going to come. A sea level rise of a couple of feet will be massively destructive. It will make today's immigration issues look like trivialities. And it's not that the administration is unaware of this. So, Donald Trump, for example, is perfectly aware of the dangerous effects, in the short term, of global warming. So, for example, recently he applied to the government of Ireland for permission to build a wall to protect his golf course in Ireland from rising sea levels. And Rex Tillerson, who was supposed to be the adult in the room before he was thrown out, as CEO of ExxonMobil, was devoting enormous resources to climate change denial, although he had, sitting on his desk, the reports of ExxonMobil scientists, who, since the '70s, in fact, were on the forefront of warning of the dire effects of this accelerating phenomenon. I don't know what word in the language--I can't find one--that applies to people of that kind, who are willing to sacrifice the literal--the existence of organized human life, not in the distant future, so they can put a few more dollars in highly overstuffed pockets. The word "evil" doesn't begin to approach it. These are the kinds of issues that should be under discussion. Instead, what's being--there is a focus on what I believe are marginalia. So, take, say, the huge issue of interference in our pristine elections. Did the Russians interfere in our elections? An issue of overwhelming concern in the media. I mean, in most of the world, that's almost a joke. First of all, if you're interested in foreign interference in our elections, whatever the Russians may have done barely counts or weighs in the balance as compared with what another state does, openly, brazenly and with enormous support. Israeli intervention in U.S. elections vastly overwhelms anything the Russians may have done, I mean, even to the point where the prime minister of Israel, Netanyahu, goes directly to Congress, without even informing the president, and speaks to Congress, with overwhelming applause, to try to undermine the president's policies--what happened with Obama and Netanyahu in 2015. Did Putin come to give an address to the joint sessions of Congress trying to--calling on them to reverse U.S. policy, without even informing the president? And that's just a tiny bit of this overwhelming influence. So if you happen to be interested in influence of--foreign influence on elections, there are places to look. But even that is a joke. I mean, one of the most elementary principles of a functioning democracy is that elected representatives should be responsive to those who elected them. There's nothing more elementary than that. But we know very well that that is simply not the case in the United States. There's ample literature in mainstream academic political science simply comparing voters' attitudes with the policies pursued by their representatives, and it shows that for a large majority of the population, they're basically disenfranchised. Their own representatives pay no attention to their voices. They listen to the voices of the famous 1 percent--the rich and the powerful, the corporate sector. The elections--Tom Ferguson's stellar work has demonstrated, very conclusively, that for a long period, way back, U.S. elections have been pretty much bought. You can predict the outcome of a presidential or congressional election with remarkable precision by simply looking at campaign spending. That's only one part of it. Lobbyists practically write legislation in congressional offices. In massive ways, the concentrated private capital, corporate sector, super wealth, intervene in our elections, massively, overwhelmingly, to the extent that the most elementary principles of democracy are undermined. Now, of course, all that is technically legal, but that tells you something about the way the society functions. So, if you're concerned with our elections and how they operate and how they relate to what would happen in a democratic society, taking a look at Russian hacking is absolutely the wrong place to look. Well, you see occasionally some attention to these matters in the media, but very minor as compared with the extremely marginal question of Russian hacking. And I think we find this on issue after issue, also on issues on which what Trump says, for whatever reason, is not unreasonable. So, he's perfectly right when he says we should have better relations with Russia. Being dragged through the mud for that is outlandish, makes--Russia shouldn't refuse to deal with the United States because the U.S. carried out the worst crime of the century in the invasion of Iraq, much worse than anything Russia has done. But they shouldn't refuse to deal with us for that reason, and we shouldn't refuse to deal with them for whatever infractions they may have carried out, which certainly exist. This is just absurd. We have to move towards better--right at the Russian border, there are very extreme tensions, that could blow up anytime and lead to what would in fact be a terminal nuclear war, terminal for the species and life on Earth. We're very close to that. Now, we could ask why. First of all, we should do things to ameliorate it. Secondly, we should ask why. Well, it's because NATO expanded after the collapse of the Soviet Union, in violation of verbal promises to Mikhail Gorbachev, mostly under Clinton, partly under first Bush, then Clinton expanded right to the Russian border, expanded further under Obama. The U.S. has offered to bring Ukraine into NATO. That's the kind of a heartland of Russian geostrategic concerns. So, yes, there's tensions at the Russian border--and not, notice, at the Mexican border. Well, those are all issues that should be of primary concern. The fate of--the fate of organized human society, even of the survival of the species, depends on this. How much attention is given to these things as compared with, you know, whether Trump lied about something? I think those seem to me the fundamental criticisms of the media. Powered by AutoBlogger.co