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muzzlemouths · 25 days

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Part 1 of a oneshot based on @juicyyyboxxx's Valentine's Day art because it's lived in my head for months. so if this breaks your heart you have them to blame 💕

WC: 1400

The rejection is familiar. It bites like teeth on flesh, a deep and aching bruise, unseen, it offers no catharsis without the bitter taste of crimson beneath. Circuits sting and spark under plates of cold metal and a heart that tick tick ticks to a pre-programmed pulse. Alive by electric veins, each breath is painfully artificial. That's why they always leave, isn't it?

How silly it is to think this time might be different. Yes, silly, that’s what they always tell him. What a silly robot, with silly little feelings he himself doesn’t understand and a silly heart that goes 01100010 01100101 01100001 01110100 (beat) 01100010 01100101 01100001 01110100 (beat) 01100010 01100101 01100001 01110100 (beat).

He is exhausted by its rhythm. Disheartened each time a scraped knee leaks oil and not blood. It didn’t use to be this way, of course. This dysphoria of sorts is recent — a development which stems from not one rejection, not two, but a number that can’t be contained when counting on both hands. He is made to watch, not to keep. The children come and go. Their parents, too. His coworkers find him endearing, charming, amusing, silly silly silly silly silly.

But not worth staying for.

He tries writing letters, assuming (hoping) that it is his voice or maybe his face which scares them away. Maybe he can’t find the right words, and his hesitance is too ugly to bear. Maybe it’s a matter of not saying the right things, or not saying enough of them. Writing it down will fix this, he thinks, and so he gets to work.

The first letter isn’t good. No, no, it isn’t good at all. He tries it again. This one isn’t much better. That’s okay! He has plenty of paper, see, and all the time in the world to get this right.

Time swims through scribbled ink, his hours punctuated with each shake of his head and the crunching of paper, forced into a ball and tossed over the shoulder to be discarded at a later time. It’s terribly messy and goes against his very coding, but then again, so does this beating heart of his. So do these feelings.

It’s a bug, he thinks. A sickness. There must be something wrong with him, surely. He can’t think of another reason for this madness. There are butterflies where his wires ought to be, a warmth in his chest that no amount of fans can reckon with. He feels so strongly about this. About you. And this time, the letter is perfect.

It has to be.

If it results in that familiar sting once more, well, he doesn’t think he will have the strength to try again.

He spots your orange sneakers from across the room and makes towards them like a bee, high on hope, catching you by your name just as you reach the exit doors. Your heel turns to question him, and your smile is thin. Polite. You want to clock out and be home, already.

The paper in Sun’s hands is folded neatly, basic printer white. The adhesive of a red heart sticker keeps the letter in place. His fingers tap-tap-tap against it for one anxious minute before he works up the courage to hand it over.

“Seeing as it’s Valentine’s Day, a-and everything,” he sputters, “I thought– well, why don’t you just give it a look?”

For all the opinions Moon had to share over the hours that the letter was being written, he is decidedly quiet now, of all times, when his voice and companionship is arguably needed most. There is a shared stillness to the room that is perfect as much as it is daunting as the letter is extended.

His gears tense like a held breath when you raise an eyebrow in his direction. You take it with the patience one might expect from any other retail worker; which is to say, too much. Your breezy attitude has him fidgeting with twice the enthusiasm, and the reasoning behind his restlessness is lost on you.

A confession lies between folded paper, unbeknownst to you, ready to be heard if you will humor him and listen. Your eyes return to the letter with an inquisitive hum.

Taking little care in preserving it, you break his heart.

Sun watches on with quiet resolve as the sticker is ripped in two, and the paper unfolded. He dares not move or utter a word as your eyes look over the small poem written in crayola purple. Short and sweet, with the intention of making his feelings for you known without it becoming too cheesy, he thinks it gets the job done well enough. His best letter yet! This assumption is further bolstered when your mouth upturns into a lopsided smile, but he can’t quite read your face.

Then comes the laughter.

Short, curt, a quick exhale through your nostrils more than anything else, as though he’s just told a joke that you found particularly–

“Oh, Sun…”

The letter is returned to him with that same humoring expression on your face, and it is here where he realizes that the look in your eyes isn’t returned affection at all. It’s pity.

“This is very sweet,” you insist, nudging the paper forward a second time when he doesn’t immediately take it back, “but it’s not like that between us, right? I mean, we’re friends, but…you didn’t seriously think this would work out, did you?” Another laugh, and this one stings. “Don’t be silly.”

There is an echo of understanding between his code. Your words don’t offer him the kindness of sinking in slow, rather, they cascade through his audio processors like a slap to the face, one after the other.

There it is again. Silly, silly, silly. Yes, indeed, how silly it was of him to think he could ever be anything more than a hunk of metal in human clothes, pretending to be something he’s not. At the end of it all, it’s not his face, or his voice, or the words he is too scared to say. It’s him. Silly, silly him.

And he is not something that can be fixed with crayon words and sticker hearts.

“…Sun?”

“Of course!” He abruptly straightens with a vocal tick of metal on metal, swiping the letter from your hands as if it burned you. “Of course I wasn’t being serious,” he continues, “it was a joke — a joke! You know me, silly ol’ Sunny. Just thought I’d give you a laugh before you went home for the night, is all!”

Printer paper white folds neatly over shaking hands. You might have questioned it were you not in so much of a hurry to get home, but as it stands you have more important things to get to, and a subtle tremor isn’t too out of the ordinary for the animatronic, anyway. Old wires, if you had to guess. The company really ought to get that fixed.

“Good one,” you say, a third and final laugh spilling between your grimace. “Well, I should get out of here. Thanks for helping out today.” Your eyes flicker towards the exit, then back, again, to where he waits like a statue, unmoving and with that same ever-constant expression staring back. “See you tomorrow?”

Something clicks and buffers in his voicebox as he realizes you’re waiting for an answer, a thousand responses readying themselves between the silence, questions he’s never dared to ask. How is any of this fair? Is it in vain, all these hours and days and years spent toiling with words that go no where, and feelings he isn’t allowed to have? To run his circuits ragged chasing after a heart he can’t keep? Am I better off alone, he wonders.

“See you tomorrow!” He says instead.

You can’t help but feel a twinge of guilt rising in your chest as the door clicks shut behind you. He sounded so genuine, you might have actually believed it if he were in any way built to host those kinds of emotions. You assume that he’s just mimicking them, instead. Putting on a show like he used to do before the daycare became his new objective. And yet, the idea of an animatronic truly feeling anything in the way of love makes you smile just a little as you head for the parking lot.

“…What a silly robot.”

#drabbles #Sundrop #sun fnaf #DCA #This is a hurt/comfort #with the hurt being part 1 #but mark my words. there will be comfort

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gooperts-gunk · 3 months

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im so crazy over the tragedy of everything q!bbh does being under a demon pretense even though he's a fallen angel.

do u think he just accepts the demon label because it's easier. do u think he believes it too, and catches himself in his thoughts with "oh, right. im not exactly that". and maybe he believes that he did this to himself? do u think what he did was to protect himself or someone? no matter the fall, he still has so much kindness to give and his brain just isn't wired the way a natural-born demon would be, he can't hold back instincts when time demands it, maybe that's why he fell in the first place.

and when he's finally bad, not good, it's treated like the end of the world, without empathy on why he would act out. do you think this keeps happening? the same scenario, multiple times, every timeline? he has to be used to it. so he has to take it in stride. he's good until he lashes out under extreme pressure, and suddenly he's called demon. and once again he's what heaven made him out to be. what he made himself to be, his brain would ruthlessly provide...

i don't think he wants to be that, though he hides secrets behind secrets of which neither identity is a home... but i don't think he wants to have to change, either. and i don't think that's wrong of him.

...you collapse atlantis ONE TIME and all of a sudden YOU'RE the bad guy and SURE it was FUN but REALLY now,--

#lots of expansion on this in tags beware #this is a draft from 2:40AM the day before i just felt something within me and i needed to write about fallen angel q!bbh angst NOW #this post is brought to you by q!bbh in purgatory and post-purgatory i will never forgive you purgatory 1 #no one can bear to have a healthy conversation about q!bbh's behaviors let alone TO q!bbh. BUT IF Q!BAGHERA WASN'T STUCK ON THE ISLAND...#i miss u bbh + baghera interactions let me see u soon pls #he isn't impossible to communicate with ur just not jiving with his autism right u can get through to him i swear BUT TOO LATE he DIED #now he doesn't remember!!! (unless that part of the library is recovered) u lost ur shot!!! (ur issues with him will rise again)#now every time bagi goes “'cause he's a demon” with bbh i go OH MAN SHE DOESN'T KNOW IT'S MORE... it hurts how flippant it is sometimes #because WE KNOW OH MAN WE KNOW IT'S MORE and this concept of him being fallen adds SO MUCH CONNOTATION to EVERYTHING he does #it isn't just DEMON THINGS it's GOD MADE ME THIS THINGS and i just can't wait to know WHY what did you DO!!!#your instincts are to be nice though cautiously detached when your life restarts so WHAT DID YOU DO IF YOU ARE NOT INHERENTLY BAD???#goopert talks qsmp #qsmp #qsmp badboyhalo

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duusheen · 7 months

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The funeral

#ts4 gameplay #ts4 challenge #ts4 legacy challenge #ts4 screenshots #the light is AWFUL i'm sorry it was cloudy af (╯‵□′)╯︵┻━┻#anyway that was the spoiler 💔#Leif has always had the emotional intelligence of a rock lol #He's sad about the passing of his parents and he's hurt and angry because Jay has chosen to show his face NOW in this moment #But instead of TALKING to Jay like a mature grown-up man (which he isn't) he decides he's going to act like an asshole #Nothing new just Leif being Leif I guess #Have you seen Hope there?#She's not scared of Leif but of hearing her daddy talk in that tone #Jay has a special tone for Leif not exactly a growl but clear enough for everyone listening that he's not happy with the man's presence #this is part 1 of 3 btw 👀👀#I love Jay's profile. I have 6000 pictures of his profile I don't know why I just like how he looks 😩#pollock legacy #gen4 #jay pollock #miracle holm #leif pollock #hope pollock

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supernovasilence · 10 months

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Thinking about how the books introduce us to Narnia as this vibrant, beautiful land and then make us watch it die piece by piece. If you read in publication order you start with Narnia a place of wonder and magic even under the Witch's power and then the Pevensies save it and we get "the Golden Age" and Narnia is really something; if you read chronologically you start with Aslan making Narnia and everything so full of life and song that trees grow from everything that touches the earth and people laugh to be the butt of a joke because they (and everyone else) have never heard a joke before in the history of the world and jokes are fun! And then you read LWW and get to see what Narnia has grown into and get the Golden Age.

And then you read about a Narnia where people are in hiding and magic is a legend (even under Jadis, there was magic) and Cair Paravel is in ruins and lions and beavers are extinct. Cair Paravel can be rebuilt but lions and beavers can't be revived. The characters restore Narnia but it will never be quite what it was. It will never be another Golden Age.

We watch Caspian, boy hero of the last two books, die, grieving and broken and old before his time. Narnia is saved again and it's time for a coronation, just like in MN, LWW, and PC! Yay! Except this coronation will happen alongside a funeral. Underneath Narnia swims a dead kingdom and caves full of monsters waiting for the end of the world. Remember children, all things die.

The next time we open a book, we become the Pevensies, returning to Narnia to find centuries have passed and our magical home has become warlike and worn. Aslan has not been seen in ages; guard towers have been built around Narnia's borders for the many battles. Where are the clearings full of moonlight dances that Mr. Tumnus spoke about, back at the beginning? Tirian assures us Narnia is like that, in times of peace, only visitors from Earth tend to be brought over when Narnia is in trouble. We will not see it. Narnia was like that; good and beautiful and wonderful things did happen. Narnia is death. There will be no after the battle this time, no awakening land or Golden Age after cruelty is stopped. Cruelty and war have seeped into Narnia itself. Guard towers must be built: not a temporary war, but long term militarism. People turn on one another. Everyone dies. Narnia dies.

"I saw it begin," says Digory/the Professor. "I did not think I would live to see it die." Neither did we.

"I did hope that it might go on forever," says Jill. It could have. This is a story. Turns out it's a tragedy.

#unsure about posting this but i got a lot of followers from that soft heacanons post and people oughta know if they stick around #that my feelings about the narnia books are complicated #the chronicles of narnia #the magician's nephew #the lion the witch and the wardrobe #prince caspian #the silver chair #the last battle #nova actually posts stuff #this post happened because i was trying to figure out why The Silver Chair is classified as The Last Battle Part 1 in my head #despite chronologically being much farther from it than from PC/VDT #and realized something about vibes #just. the feeling of narnia slowly dying over the course of the books #i'm guessing it's not as bad if you're team publication order because you get HHB and MN before LB #and it's c s lewis's world he can do what he wants with it #but wow does it hurt to read

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buttbiscuit · 2 years

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HoH Steve Harrington headcanons because I love him (ft a lot of Steddie)

He slowly developed hearing issues in his teens and early adolescence but didn't notice at first. He learnt how to lip read by accident because he just realised it was easier to understand people when he was doing it. He didn't know it was an actual thing.

He secretly loves that Dustin calls him a cool cyborg for having hearing aids

Going to Eddie's gigs and not giving a shit about not knowing any of the lyrics to any of the songs because he can't understand them anyway. He loves the way he can feel the loud music through his entire body.

"I can't see what you're saying!" When Eddie gets distracted and covers his mouth or turns away from Steve while they're talking.

Early mornings when he doesn't have his hearing aids in and Eddie tells him to stop stomping around so much but Steve doesn't even realise he's doing it and so Eddie calls him a dinosaur and Steve tackles him whenever he makes little t-rex arms

Absolute fucking bliss of taking his hearing aids out at night and letting the noise of the world disappear.

He can't hear those annoying cicadas everyone complains about during summer nights.

Eddie buys him an ASL book but he gives up after learning literally 3 words in ASL. He learnt enough just so he can communicate with Eddie across a noisy bar (The words are "drunk," "bathroom," and "let's go") and he never uses it anywhere else.

He loves when people see his hearing aids and assume he obviously knows sign language because he always replies with "of course" and flips them off 🖕

Saying "I can't hear you 🤷‍♂️ sorry" or "hearing aids broke this morning" when he can very clearly hear the kids but he doesn't want to listen to them

Family Video having the biggest stock of subtitled movies because Robin keeps secretly ordering them for Steve

After he gets his hearing aids he realises he really likes movies more now that he can understand the characters and follow dialogue and pick up on the musical cues

Calling out Eddie for gossiping about him across a room because even though they're not within earshot, he can clearly lipread that Eddie said his name.

Having the radio absolutely cranked in his car and it startles Robin every single time which makes Steve laugh. She'll learn to turn the volume down before turning it on eventually.

"Oh my god where are my ears" when he can't find his hearing aids in the morning and Eddie says "on the sides of your head" to which Steve shouts "Shut up!" its such a frequent occurrence that Eddie doesn't even have to say it anymore but Steve still tells him to shut up

Wayne got a bit annoyed at the boys having the TV up so loud but after Eddie explains he has to because Steve can't hear so well, he never complained about it again.

He absolutely loves that Robin and Eddie talk with their entire bodies and are so expressive and have good annunciation (which they probably picked up from doing drama in school) because he can understand them really well.

Dustin constantly trying to sneak up behind Steve to scare him but because he's so used to being extra aware of his visual surroundings it never works.

Robin learning to perfectly imitate the way he says "Huh?" every time he can't hear her from across the store

Eddie knowing immediately when Steve didn't understand what someone said because he always does the same "Yeah, totally!" nod and smile.

Steve constantly bugging Eddie to wear hearing protection at gigs and go for a hearing test.

#i will romanticise the shit out of disabled characters until theyre given enough happy treatment!!!!#not all of these posts have to be abt hurt!! sometimes people with disabilites are happy and enjoy the fun lil things that happen to them #also im not hoh but i grew up in a household w a hoh parent AND i have apd and was mostly hoh until i was like 5 even if i dont remember it #so im like...... on the cusp of being allowed to use personal experience to talk abt this sort of thing and also not being HoH so idk #if ur hoh and think im way out of line for this lmk and ill delete but i think hoh steve is wonderful #its a good disability hc that we dknt see a lot of and i wanna make sure people who have no hoh experience see some of the funner parts #hoh!steve #HoH!Steve Harrington #HoH Steve Harrington #steve harrington #steddie #dustin henderson #robin buckley #robin and dustin steve's number 1 fans ily #stranger things headcanon #steve harrington headcanon

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freakova · 4 months

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I know the whole “Usagi is Jotaro’s father and it’s this crazy ‘secret’” plot often opens deep discussions on who is right/wrong but these panels are so funny I love these stupid bunnies

#freakova speaks #usagi yojimbo #LIKE the fact she needs to remind him how that is possible YOU IDIOT!!!!!!111 #like anytime I see a discussion on whether mariko was right or if Usagi is being hurt I just #I just remember that 1) it takes 2 to tango and 2) they tango’d in the open outdoors on a picnic #which I think is really funny #Idk I just have been relooking at issues and this story is really sad but I like this part it’s cute

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eclipsethedarklingiscanon · 5 months

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He didn't know how it happened

But he had fulfilled his purpose

But at what cost

He was no longer there

And he took the only thing he cared about with him

Now he was being chased

Not only by the government but by him

Was he going crazy?

Or is it a punishment for having destroyed everything he loved

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic fandom #shadow the hedgehog #sonic fan art #eclipse the darkling #sth #This is part of a fanfic that I will never publish because #1 I'm not a writer so whatever comes out will either be shit or it won't be understood #2 I'm very sick and it hurt me to finish this #3 I'm also very lazy #but in summary if you are interested Shadow died #and being the hive mind he took the dark arms with him #and now eclipse is fleeing the government because team dark found shadow's body #but he is also haunted by “the ghost of Shadow”#hunted au

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ongreenergrasses · 2 months

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Last Line Challenge

tagged by @lyricfulloflight and first i am so pleased you are writing again 💜 boy oh boy. do i have many lines to share. HOWEVER because i am in the middle of revisions idk where the last line i wrote actually is so have a little snippet from the vicinity

She’d spent years distracting herself as much as she could, doing everything she could to keep from thinking, and now, suddenly, she had enough time on her hands to begin to think again.

She didn’t want to. She didn’t have the time to, not now.

tagging @aphroditestummyrolls @godihatethisfreakingcat @goldheartedsky @non-un-topo @blooming-violets and anyone else who would like to, i’m not so sure who’s creating things these days

#tags of earthly delights #lyricfulloflight #the behemoth #currently i’m just going through and highlighting shit that I think is garbage. I have the overly ambitious goal of being finished with #part 1 (there’s 2 parts) by the time I leave on Sunday but gd knows if that’ll happen. but some parts are so bad that I’m like yeah no I #have to do something to make this presentable. it hurts my eyes

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sheepgirlmaidtummy · 1 month

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i think i have this fear of being seen as a liar i think. like. everyone does it. and as a kid i stole stuff all the time and the way that was dealt with kinda just fucked with my head. do people see my kindness and my compassion as manipulation? am i read as someone trying to tear down the walls so i can get something while ur guard is down?. idk why someone thinking that of me makes me feel so miserable like. what if they were right? ive made mistakes before.. whos to say they arent right about this time? i dont want to stop being kind but it scares me to think about that.

#im so different to all the people ive met. i know afew kindred spirits. 2 is in my cule and im dating the other #but idk. some part of me Long ago decided that i wanted to bring comfort to people. when i see how rough the world gets..#i know thats something i can do to make people feel better. even if its just 1 person.#what else has there been in my life worth living for. aside from the company it brings and the growth i get to be part of.#i never got to be this kind. i never got to be treated this kindly before i transitioned.#idk. i guess this stuff just makes me think im doing something wrong. am i not supposed to try and make other happy if i seem like a trick?#to me this is what being a woman means for me. in so many ways... maybe thats why it being doubted hurts so much.#anyway.. my blood sugar is low. and its 2am. ily reader. i hope its not too much.

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wellthatschaotic · 5 months

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scrolling youtube. "how to spot someone FAKING DID!!!" heavy sigh.

#1) there is literally no way to spot a faker. none. most likely you're accusing actual people with DID #(subsequently hurting people you're trying to protect)#2) even if a person IS faking DID (very unlikely in the first place and again there's no way to tell from the outside)#there is still something wrong.#a mentally healthy person does not fake a mental disorder. it just. doesn't happen.#they're just doing it for attention? ok attention is a human need i could literally write a whole post on that phrase #theyre doing it to try to fit in? if someone so desperately craves to be plural let them be. yes being plural =/= DID #but i kinda doubt they want the Bad Parts(TM) aka the Disorder Part #and if they do: again. something wrong. a mentally healthy person does not wish for disorders #tempted to watch the video just to see #chaos chitters

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chemicalarospec · 3 months

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it makes me sad how many aspec posts (and videos and other individual-generated content) are just being upset about this depiction or that one. we NEED more (semi-mainstream) aspec rep so bad, so that nobody has to feel hurt when 1 kind of aspec that they are not is represented and the only 1 they see :(

#wait have u guys ever seen 'the dangers of a single story' TED talk bc that's what happening to aspecs rn #except many of us also idnetify with the 'single story' so we get hurt when ppl criticize it as bad rep and unrealistic #we NEED to eliminate the single story to stop the aspec negativity chamber. except as individuals we really... can't.#that's another sad part: we can write our own indie stories but it won't really help the root problem bc it won't be popular #enough for a majority of aspecs to see. there will still only be a handful of portrayls most aspecs won't relate to and thus not like #aroace #aro #ace #apl #aspec #aromantic #asexual #aplatonic #arospec #i mean i'll be real we could do a communial magazine but proper publishedor smth but the problem is when it's all centered around 1 identit #having a story frequently becomes incidental... at least that's why i think that sort of thing doesn't really appeal to me in general #i said this #or maybe it's just me thinking of Common Bonds being uninteresting to me #maybe bc i really am apl-spec deep down despite having a very alloplt/plt-normative mindset still

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strawberrybabydog · 3 months

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actually doing just dance from my bed instead of a full work out is epic and fun and it makes me feel like. you know in the barbie movie when they have a wheelchair user on the screen dancing for like 5 seconds or less and then she never shows up ever again. it makes me feel like her my idol

#im being half sarcastic here when i saw the movie for the first time i was so happy to see a wheelchair user included in the choreo i cried #and then she literally did not show her face even 1 more time afterwards so. white feminism moment lol #STILL if i expected a mobility aid user to show up in the movie i did not expect them to do choreo for her so. that part is nice #not dog #personal #also im posting this because i believe in my heart that everyone should do just dance in the morning at least 1 or 2 of them its realy fun #and makes my muscles hurt in the exercise way

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palaceoftears · 3 months

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Ruyi should let go of the loss of her children for the 'biggest picture' but oh god forgive you have to let go of your disgusting obsession over a girl that could be your granddaughter...

I think this arc is the creepiest thing that has happened in the show yet.

#It's so disturbing #1. the emperor acting like a child for a woman's body. using her ppl & identity to both cherish & threaten her as she said #2. this poor abandoned girl being manipulated from all possible sides to stay alive and serve this pos. they used her tribu. her father.#her dead lover #it's disgusting af. and as if her situation wasn't horrible enough all the concubines hate her #3. Ruyi was forced to play a part in this. she's so dead inside atp #the emperor uses her as a machine & I'm glad she finally stopped loving him #but anyways this hurts from all perspectives #please please please someone pull a zhen huan!!#watching ruyi #ruyi's royal love in the palace

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xysidhequeen · 1 year

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Okay so I finally finished writing the next part for the Red Knight series. Sorry I've been literally bed bound because I've been so ill. But! It's 10k words because of course it is why not. I'll have it uploaded soonish. My poor hands need a break. But wanted to let everyone know it's coming!

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travelers-gaming · 8 months

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the abyss is so good because. a lot of times modern fantasy will mention something in passing and it's more interesting than any of the main things but. the abyss is the part of lore most tailor made to my specific taste in scary fantasy. what if you got ground up by the universes teeth and the only thing left of your humanity was the part that was scared and suffered and the only reason that bit got to survive was so that you could be remade into a weapon that scares and hurts other people in the same way. what if changeling the lost's huntsman were the universes equivalent to recycling and also slasher movie villains

#its so good it fucks so immensely #again its very changeling but in a different emotional way #like blake being full of birds is 1. the tattoos because motifs are real in pactworld #2. callbacks to evan. which would be nice but the part of his connection to evan blake holds onto the most is “i promise to fight monsters”#which is part of what shapes him into specifically. “if you hurt people who dont deserve it the thorburn boogieman will fuck you up”#which is like. the victims deserve it but hes absolutely hurtint them #which feeds the abyss #its so good

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not-poignant · 1 year

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I've been brainstorming stuff I can potentially bring to the Patreon (esp in the higher tiers) and just... there's exciting things coming.

(As always, the plan is to still make my stuff available on AO3 at some point, in terms of the writing).

(But I'm having serious looks into merch this year. I used to offer it once many many years ago, and now I think there are ways I can offer it again that are very specific to Fae Tales / my writing.)

(Another thing I'm doing is looking into publishing paperbacks/hardbacks while leaving the ebooks as the AO3 stories. I am not comfortable publishing ebooks for money while I keep my stories online for free, but I am comfortable publishing paperback and hardback editions with better editing / maps / pronunciation etc. and it's just a matter of figuring out the best way to do that. So far I'm looking at IngramSpark. No ETA, I have absolutely no ETA, but just know I'm really really seriously looking into this too).

(But merch will probably happen first).

#personal #housekeeping #this stuff is exciting and a little intimidating #the hardest part is the content #and publishing it in paperback/hardback form knowing so many sellers would block it #on keywords alone #but at the same time i think it's worth trying #so i will try #i will probably start with smaller installments (for both ease of reading and actually being able to make more than $1 per book)#and then do larger ones #i do know game theory wouldn't come out in a single volume #too big #too expensive #too inaccessible to read #my wrists hurt thinking about it fsdalkfjasd

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