#wish i was joking when i say that these types of moments genuinely make me cry sometimes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

restinslices · 3 months

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Everything pt2

PJO Show Ares X Child!Reader (no gender specified)

Word count: 6168 (I realized a bit late that majority is me setting up the scene. If you just wanna see their talk, read after the “~~”)

Summary: You haven’t seen your father since the last time you talked, but of course with your luck he finds you again and you’re forced to make a big decision.

Warnings: Reader is going through it, poor attempt at a fight scene, the lore and timeline is probably fucked up but ignore that, OOC Ares probably and as of typing I’m realizing MAJOR SPOILER FOR THE TITANS CURSE. To avoid this, scroll until you see “I don’t have any friends that come over” or “~” if you wanna be extra careful.

You’d love to say that not seeing your father after your last talk was some sort of surprise, but it wasn’t. Thankfully (is that selfish to think?) none of the demigods had a real good relationship with their parent. Well, Percy seemed to have a solid relationship with Posideon, but it’s not like he saw him everyday. And as selfish and heartless as it sounded, that offered you a bit of relief and comfort. It’s not like your father was sensitive and loving to you and you screwed it up. Everything was pretty much back to normal.

It was a pretty somber day at camp. Percy, Grover and Thalia had managed to save Annabeth and Artemis, but it didn’t come without casualties. You weren’t necessarily friends with Bianca or Zoë but you still grieved over them. The hardest part though, was watching how sad your friends had gotten, especially Percy. You knew what Percy was like. Percy was extremely loyal but that loyalty led to carrying a lot more weight on his shoulders than what was necessary. If your suspicions were right (and you knew they were), he’d blame himself for Bianca’s death. That made zero sense to you. He told you exactly how she died and to you, it seemed like Bianca made a choice. Percy couldn’t have done anything to stop it. He didn’t see it that way and you weren’t sure why you insisted on telling him over and over again and trying to cheer him up.

“Nico?” Percy raised to his feet when he saw you approaching. You shook your head,

“No sign of him. He’s been missing for a week now Percy. If we were gonna find him, we would’ve found him by now”. Percy looked defeated. You were sure he knew the chances of finding him were slim to none, but you kept combing areas of the woods for him to keep him somewhat at peace. If he thought there was a chance, he wouldn’t be as depressed hopefully.

“I’m gonna say it again-“

“Don’t”

“Well what should I say to calm you down?”

Percy thought for a moment but just shrugged and started heading inside his cabin and you followed. Percy collapsed on his own bed and you took it upon yourself to sit on the bed next to his. You didn’t know if it was because you held resentment towards your father, or if you actually liked Cabin 3 but you really wished this was your cabin instead. “Must be nice having a cabin all to yourself. No obnoxious cabin mates, no extra noise, nobody leaving their shit on the floor”.

“I guess” was all he said back to you and you sighed. You didn’t wanna keep repeating yourself but you genuinely didn’t know what to say but not saying anything made you feel like an asshole that was ignoring the situation.

So you tried to change the subject.

“Is it like this at home too? Just you and your mom? No friends over?”.

“I don't have any friends that can come over”

“None at school?”

“None”.

That made you frown. You were older than Percy by a few years, so you had time to adjust to how lonely life could be as a half-blood and by now, you didn't return “home” either. Camp was your home now year round. You understood why Percy kept going home though. You heard about his mom and she seemed like a nice woman. You were grateful he at least had that.

But instead of saying something sweet and nice and voicing your thoughts, you made a joke instead. “That's why your little ass keeps getting into trouble. You have no one out there watching out for you”

“My mom watches out for me plenty”

“But she's not keeping schools from being blown up now is she?”. Percy rolled his eyes, but he didn't look as sad as before so you took this as a sign to keep talking “if I was watching you, you'd be alright. At least you'd have help”

“You're tryna live with me now?”

“Sure”, you said with a shrug. “A cool mom, random blue food, stopping you from exposing yourself - it all sounds grand”. You both laughed at your joke because that's what it was. A joke.

At least… it was at first.

Either Percy didn't know what a joke was, or he was pretty fond of having a big sibling when he was home because the next day he told you he sent an Iris message to his mom and she was fine with getting an air mattress for you. You almost told Percy that it was just a joke, but then you thought about how lonely he must be at home and how annoying it can be only having his mom to talk to about this demigod stuff. Plus, it hopefully wouldn't hurt to get a break from camp.

You didn't know why you decided to pray and tell Poseidon about this, but you did. The sun had set and you slipped out of your cabin and snuck into the woods. You made a mini fire and threw two candy bars the Stoll brothers managed to sneak in, which was a real shitty offering but it was all you had. You couldn't do it during the feast. You had too much to say and someone would hear.

“Terrible offering, I know. I hope you're listening anyway” you started. “I'm gonna be following Percy around when he goes home and I'm gonna try and keep him and Sally somewhat safe. I don't know how safe Percy can really be but I'll try anyway. I hope that's not a problem. I'm not tryna step on your toes or anything”.

In all honesty praying and giving offerings felt strange. You were supposed to pray to Ares everyday and give him an offering, but you stopped doing that after your last talk. The first time you threw food in a fire and didn't say his name, you thought you'd combust as a punishment. You didn't though, so you kept doing it. Occasionally you'd give offerings to other gods but it was mainly Athena. Partially because she was like Ares but not really and partially because you hoped it would upset Ares. Was it childish? Yes. But compared to someone as old as Ares, you were a child.

“That's all I really have to say. If you don't want me to go you can drown me in my sleep or maybe send a letter. Whatever works for you”. You looked around, expecting for some paper saying “absolutely not” to land somewhere around you but nothing happened, so you put out the fire and snuck back into your cabin.

You don't think you have a huge ego, but you definitely felt you deserved a pat on the back for how good your work was.

You were able to convince your own lousy family to hand over any legal documents to Sally and thankfully Percy's middle school had a highschool right next to it. Although the demigods weren't supposed to use phones, a minor text here and there saying “hey, I think there's monsters here” didn't hurt anyone. There were plenty of times you had to sneak out of your school and into his, and if you weren't so busy fighting for your life, you'd audition to be in some spy or assassin movie.

Thankfully though, you weren't always busy helping Percy. You figured you might as well help Sally out so you got a job at a nearby bookstore inside of a mall and honestly? You'd prefer fighting monsters over dealing with bratty customers. Seriously though, how can you be a bitch at a bookstore?

“I've already told you ma'am” you said in a monotone voice, “we can't give you a refund if you do not have a receipt”.

The black hair woman scoffed and looked at you as if you caused the problem she was having. “A receipt? Do I seem like the type of woman who keeps a receipt?! When I bought Twilight, I expected better and I hate it and now I want a refund and as the customer, I am always right!”.

The entire conversation made you wanna explode in front of her and change the trajectory of her life, but unfortunately it didn't happen. What was with mortals and not understanding basic store rules?

“I would love it if you were right but you're not. No receipt. No refund”. She scoffed again and you wanted to grab her by the throat and stop the noise from ever leaving her mouth again.

“Well what do you expect me to do?!”

“Pick up a different book then get out maybe?”.

You couldn't put a finger on the noise that came out of her next. It was some deep throaty sound with a mix of anger and disgust. “Do you know who I am? I'm Holly Holiday-” you accidentally cracked a smile at her stupid name and that just fueled her rage. She pointed a finger at your name tag and said your name, followed by “you are so done for! I'll have you eaten alive for this!”.

She turned on her heels and left in a huff. Fucking finally.

You looked over at your coworker Harper and pretended your fingers were a gun and shot yourself, getting a laugh out of her. Harper and her twin Hazel shared a few classes with you and by some coincidence they also worked in the mall. Harper was with you while Hazel worked at the costume store downstairs. You couldn't tell them apart and you weren't sure if you'd ever pass the “we talk sometimes” stage but it didn't matter right now.

“I know it's closing time but are you ok if I take a bathroom break really quick? I can help out when I get back”

She waved dismissively, “take your time man. Hazel'll be coming up here too”. You nodded with a small thank you and stepped into the mostly vacant mall. The mall was usually lively but with it being so late at night, the only people around were other people like that annoying customer and workers who had the misfortune of still working this late.

It was eerily quiet. Sure, you thought you were used to how silent it was at this time of night, but you still got the creeps and did not take your time alone in the bathroom.

Maybe you should have though, because once you left the bathroom that same annoying lady was waiting outside, which she definitely should not have been doing.

“I told you I did not like that book”.

Seriously? She was still complaining? She was still here after the store had pretty much closed?

You said something that would've gotten you fired if your boss was around, “yeah? Tough shit lady. No receipt, no refund, it's as simple as that. Don't buy books you haven't read. Now get out the mall and go take care of your kids”.

She snarled. A genuine snarl that made you start to sneakily slip off the bracelet you were wearing. You didn't know if gods could give other kids gifts, and either it had been allowed this whole time or Poseidon didn't care since shortly after your “chat” after hours you received a dagger that could transform into a bracelet. You thought maybe Ares had sent it, but his gifts didn't smell of the ocean and a fresh breeze.

Regardless of who gave it to you, that snarl didn't sound good.

“I don't think you're very good at your job”

“I guess I'm not. Now do us both a favor and just leave”.

She didn't leave. Instead she smirked and that was all the confirmation you needed to know something was wrong. The bracelet slipped off your wrist and while the monster was transforming, you gripped your weapon and brought it up through the bottom of her mouth. You pulled it out, but not through the entry wound. You pulled it towards you, letting it split her face in half.

Just in case, you stabbed her in the heart, twisted the knife then pulled it out of her through the side of her chest. You didn’t have to wait for her to crumble. It was game over. A surprisingly easy win.

You grabbed some nearby napkins so you could wipe your dagger clean then returned it back to your wrist.

“What happened?” Harper asked once you stepped back inside, which was really odd for multiple reasons.

Firstly, you looked like you usually did. Nothing about you was particularly out of place. At least you didn't think so.

Secondly, she didn't sound curious. She didn't sound concerned. She sounded frustrated, like you did something wrong.

“Nothing” you lied. “It's nothing. Let's just clean up, yeah?”.

“I'm sure it's not nothing Child of Ares”.

Your brows knitted together and you hoped you just heard wrong. You turned to look at Harper and that's when it started to click.

Harper. Hazel. Holly.

Harpies.

They were too lazy to pick a different initial for the first name and you fell for it like an idiot. Plus the “I’ll have you eaten alive” comment. But in all fairness, who actually takes those comments seriously? If you took every threatening comment seriously, you'd be sent to an asylum.

Harper's short red hair looked like flames now. Her green eyes looked hungry for your flesh and her sharp teeth glistened in the light as feathers grew from her arms. Realistically, you should've been scared. There were two alive harpies in the building, but something about a monster with a gray shirt with mini white books decorated on it really made you wanna laugh. She must've sensed this since she sneered,

“You think I'm funny?”

“Do you want an honest answer?”

“You won't think I'm so funny soon you spoiled demigod!”. You wanted to make a joke about how calling children with severe abandonment issues “spoiled” was silly, but you decided this wasn't the time. Instead you took the bracelet off.

Harper laughed in your face. “You think that will stop me?”

“Handled your friend pretty well. How about you stop trash talking and come over here so we can see if you're any different”. You don't know which comment got her so angry but she leapt at you.

You sidestepped her and planned on delivering a quick stab to the neck, but she must've seen it coming. She grabbed something and quickly turned to bat you in the face with it, making you stumble back. It took you a quick second to realize she hit you with a book. A Goosebumps book no less.

“You are incredibly childish” you mumbled and you wished you could laugh it off. Maybe you were childish too because you picked up the book and launched it at her face, feeling a tad bit disappointed when she dodged it.

You swung at her but she caught your wrist and squeezed hard enough to make you drop your dagger. You were quick on your feet though and you brought your available elbow down on her inner elbow (you were sure it had a scientific name but honestly who cares?). You heard a crunch and Harper screeched. Her grip loosened enough for you to snatch away while kicking her, her flying and hitting the railing.

You grabbed the dagger and threw it. You meant for it to hit somewhere fatal but she moved and instead it hit her directly in the eye, which made her screech even louder.

You snatched your necklace off and the object quickly took the shape of a double sided sword. It was a gift from your father and although he was probably pissed at you, you figured he probably wasn't watching and wouldn't care.

You charged at her and swung the sword. Although she was screaming in pain and was no doubt in agony, she slid under the blade. As she turned to face you, her hands moved and a sharp gust of wind knocked you off the third floor.

To make matters worse, Hazel decided to make an appearance. She was right below you, cackling, arms outstretched and you knew if you landed in those arms she'd devour you.

You did the only thing you could think of with such short timing. You angled the sword vertically and aimed directly for her mouth. She seemed to understand but it was too late. You came crashing down, your sword along with you and it slid directly in her mouth and down her throat. Because of the sword having a solid middle so you could hold onto something, it didn't go all the way through and you stumbled a bit, but you were better off than her. She stopped all movement and to make sure the job was done, you ripped the sword through her, cutting her in half.

“MY SISTER!”, Harper screeched and you looked up at her with your messy sword in hand.

“You want more from the Child of Ares?!” You claimed you hated trash talk and you especially hated being called his child but the adrenaline was really getting to you. “I have plenty to give!”.

She flew up higher and started to come down fast towards you. You readied your sword, prepared to end this but suddenly she stopped and started trembling.

“L-L-Lord Ares. I-”

Before you could ask any questions and she could finish her sentence, you were being launched into the air. The scream you let out was embarrassing but it didn't matter in the end. You both collided and hit the wall and instead of being knocked out or injured like you thought you'd be, you were completely fine. Your sword went straight through her chest and pinned her to the wall behind her and you were hanging above the ground, grasping onto the hilt of your sword and hoping your hands wouldn’t start sweating.

“L-L-Lord Ares. I-”

No. No way. It couldn’t be. But who else could’ve launched you in the air like that?

You looked down and there he was. You don’t know why, but you expected him to look somewhat different. Maybe a new haircut or a new jacket. Maybe he’d try contacts, but no. He looked exactly the same. You didn’t know if you were comforted or unnerved by it.

You wished you had something cool to say but all you said was “what are you doing here?”.

“Saving your life”. Yeah right. You had everything 100% under control. He chuckled and you started to wonder if he could read your mind. When you screamed internally though, he didn’t flinch so that theory went out the window. Maybe you looked annoyed and didn’t know it.

“Are you gonna catch me?” You asked.

“What for?”

“Because you threw me all the way to the fifth floor and it’d be nice not to break something”

“You need me to warm up milk up for you too?”.

Fuck it. You’d risk the broken leg.

You tightened your hands around the hilt and planted your feet on the wall then pushed off with all your might. Fortunately, you got the sword out the wall. Unfortunately, you were now falling from five floors up.

You braced for impact, but instead of falling and hitting the floor, you fell into someone’s arms. You looked up, thinking that maybe someone was with your father that you didn’t see before, but no. It was him. He caught you. Something you weren’t expecting but you weren’t against.

You mumbled a thanks and stood on your feet. The year was 2006 when you last talked. It was early in 2008 and while that wasn’t that big of a gap, the talk you had last time made things more awkward.

“I thought you’re not allowed to interfere”

He raised a brow at you as if saying “you care about rules now when you’ve been breaking them?”. Were you breaking them though? Sure you were encouraged to give offerings to your parent but you hadn’t been punished… yet. If it was so bad you wouldn’t be walking right now. And you doubted he paid enough attention to notice. He was probably relieved to have one less kid bothering him.

Gods, you were a downer.

“Are you gonna tell on me?” He asked.

“If you hadn’t caught me”

“And now?”

“My lips are sealed”. You didn’t see his expression. You were too busy looking down at your shoes. A habit you hated you developed. It made you feel small. But you guessed demigods were supposed to be small in comparison to their parent. That’s why you showed them respect but they hardly returned the favor.

A moment of silence passed before he spoke up again.

“You have money on you?”.

Was he gonna rob you now? “Uh, yeah”.

“You’re paying for dinner. Let’s go”

He started walking away before you could even respond, and like a reflex you grabbed his arm to slow him down. “I can’t”.

“Can’t?” He said so calmly it kinda scared you.

“Yeah. I can’t. My uh…” you decided not to tell him the entire truth about staying with Percy and Sally. “My ride… mom. She’s coming to get me. You don’t want mom knowing you’re in town, right?”.

He looked you up and down and you tried your best to not seem nervous. You weren’t sure he believed you but he let it go for the night.

You wished it stayed that way. That he’d just go back wherever he came from but instead he told you the name of a diner nearby and said to be there by noon tomorrow and that you were paying.

“Great. Thanks dad” you thought. “I always love our talks”.

The good thing about his random plan to go to a diner at noon was that you were allowed to clean yourself and sleep beforehand. The bad thing was that now you were sitting across from him and it was incredibly awkward.

Ares kept laughing at his phone and you debated on asking him what was so funny but he said “started a Twitter war about vaccination. It’s getting good”. You screamed in your head again, but once again he didn’t flinch. Maybe he just had a good poker face.

“I’m happy for you?”. He glanced up at you and instead of going back to his phone, he set it face down on the table. You didn’t know if he seemed to glow because of the little war he started, or if a source of light was hitting him nicely. Maybe it was a god thing.

“You’re probably wondering why I’ve called you here”

Was this an HR meeting? “I’m wondering why I’m paying”

“Ask me”

“You know I wanna know though so why am I asking?”

He didn’t respond. He just looked at you and you could hear his foot tapping on the floor.

You rubbed your brow, already feeling a migraine coming on. You took a deep breath and let out a sarcastic response (which was not a good idea but your mouth worked faster than your brain).

“Ares, the amazing God of War. The Protector of Mistreated Women. Wearer of biker jackets. I come before you as your humble child, begging thee to tell me what required my summons and why you were at the mall last night. Please please please tell me. I’ll fall over and die if you don’t”.

Sarcastic or not, he accepted it. He motioned towards the platter of burgers and fries, “this is your thank you. This is your offering to me since you haven’t been doing that”.

Well fuck. You didn’t think he’d notice.

You leaned back in your seat and your fingers strummed against your knees and you had to remind yourself that running out probably wouldn’t end well.

“You noticed?”

“I did” he said simply. It reminded you of how emotionless he was the last time you talked. It reminded you of how frustrated you were that he talked as if nothing was wrong and as if your pain didn’t affect him.

“You demigods think you’re so smart. You have these big egos and think you’re ahead of us. You gave your offerings to Athena and Poseidon of all people ” he spat their names like it left a bitter taste in his mouth to mention them.

“And then you stay with that fish boy and his mom. Yeah. I saw that too. And I save your life and you don’t seem the least bit grateful”.

Grateful.

Something about that word you hated.

Grateful? What was there to be grateful for? “Yeah dad, I’m super grateful my life consists of monsters trying to eat me and a dad I only see once in a blue moon. Totally grateful”.

“We can’t interfere”

“Didn’t stop you last night”

He tsked, “I don’t get you. You complain about my absence then you complain when I’m here when I could be doing anything else!”. His voice rose but the people in the diner were either used to this or didn’t care enough to say anything.

The nervousness and the fear rolled off you the more he spoke. Gratefulness? Doing anything else? You weren’t stopping him.

“Then go do those things. I’m not holding your hand and making you stay”. Your brain told you to shut up and apologize, but your mouth wasn’t having it. “And this isn’t about us and you know it. This is about you. This is about your ego being hurt. You don’t care about my safety. You didn’t go to the mall to protect me. You just love a fight and you were probably disappointed you couldn’t do more”

“That’s what you think?” His eyes burned with something you couldn’t quite place. Anger obviously, but it seemed like something else was there. Or maybe there was literal fire in his eyes. Either way, it was clear he was upset and if you didn’t shut up soon, he’d probably turn you into a random animal.

But who didn’t love animals?

“That’s what I know. And I didn’t need your help. I was just fine. The only thing you would’ve missed if I somehow died was your little offerings. I don’t matter to you. Just admit it so we can move on”. Ares opened his mouth to say something, but you spoke again “and for your information Percy and Sally are very nice people. They feel more like family than you do”.

That shut up whatever he planned on saying. The last time you two talked you swore you saw an emotion cross his face. This time you were definitely sure you saw something cross his face before it went back to its default expression.

Was that regret?

No. That was stupid and you’ve had plenty of stupid thoughts.

It went silent. Weirdly, eerily silent.

The diner wasn’t silent obviously but you two were.

You both were just staring at each other like statues. You wished you could read his mind. You hoped you would see thoughts of regret and sorrow and maybe hopefulness about your relationship going forward. You wished he had the same thoughts you had. Another stupid thought. Being hopeful didn’t work with him.

For whatever reason, your mind wandered off to the late night talks you’d have with Sally and for whatever other reason, you started to speak.

“Have you heard the song American Pie? Yes, it’s somewhat important to what I have to say. Yes or no only please”

He looked bored and unamused but he answered anyway. “I don’t know. Maybe? Who cares?”.

“There’s a line in the song that says this’ll be the day that I die. And for whatever reason it made me think about what I’d do if I were dying. If I woke up one day and I knew I was gonna die that day, what would I do? You wanna know what I realized?”

He raised his brows for a second and leaned back in his chair. There was a possibility he was still bored but he seemed somewhat interested. “Shoot”.

You smiled bitterly. Here he was so calm and fine and here you were, speaking slow and hoping your voice didn’t waver or crack. “I realized-” you failed. Your voice wobbled a bit and you cleared your throat a little too loud. “I realized I’d spend every second trying to make you love me”.

You didn’t bother trying to read any expression he had next. You knew you’d always get it wrong and you’d imagine what you wanted to see. “And I uh… I don’t wanna be that way anymore”. You blinked rapidly, trying to prevent any tears from falling out. You didn’t have the rain to cover your face and blend in like you did last time. “And selfishly I hope that scares you”.

“Gods don’t feel fear”

“Well whatever you wanna call it I hope you feel it. I hope -and I’m gonna keep calling it fear- I hope you feel afraid for what that means for us”

“Allow me to humor you for a bit” you felt as though the comment was supposed to be sarcastic but it didn’t sound sarcastic or aggressive. It was weirdly soft. “Why would you not wanting to spend your last day with me scare me?”

“Because that means I won’t admire you anymore” you answered. “You don’t get it. You don’t get how much you mean to me. You don’t get how much I used to idolize you. Before I was claimed, I was already intrigued by you. Once I was claimed I read every single story that had to do with you. I was honored to be your child and tried to show you how honored I was everyday. I didn’t do all this for me. The training, bettering my Greek, learning everything I could about mythology. I didn’t do that for me. I did that so I would never shame your name and make you look like you raised incompetent idiots. The way I would defend your name and what you represent, you’d think I was being paid”

“Me not admiring you anymore means I won’t care about defending you. It means I won’t care anymore about our family relationship. And I hope the idea of me calling you Ares instead of dad terrifies you. That emptiness or indifference I’ll feel when I hear your name… I know it hasn’t happened yet but thinking about it terrifies me too. Maybe I’m just selfish and don’t wanna be alone”. You used your sleeve to wipe at your wet face, a mix of embarrassment and relief for finally getting this out of you. “I could be right. I doubt it. I’m probably just making all that up but either way I need you to stop doing this. Seeing you at all, it gives me hope. I don’t want an enemy for life. I’m not Percy. But this is just gonna make this harder and if you hate me I am begging you to have mercy and leave me be. No visiting. I won’t come to see you when we do that little field trip either. I’ll stay at camp or I’ll go bother another god. Hermes is really nice. And if I break my end of the deal you can do whatever you want to me. Turn me into an ant, rearrange my fingers, throw me down a flight of stairs at full force, whatever”.

There you went again making up shit. Swearing you saw something worse than sadness on his face; grief. That was impossible. Your eyes were just playing tricks on you like they always did.

You didn’t know what you wanted him to say, but you didn’t expect “you think, but you don’t know anything”.

“Then tell me what I don’t know”. He didn’t say anything. He went silent and you were getting real tired of his silences. You sighed, “Sally’s been waiting outside so…”

“Yeah…”. He let out a breath. Annoyance. Had to be. “You want this?” He asked.

You were honest. “No” you said instantly. “No I don’t but this just seems like the best thing to do”. He didn’t argue with you.

Your hand went to reach inside your pocket for money but then he spoke again “keep it”.

“It’s no problem-”.

“Just keep it”.

You nodded.

You stayed sitting down. Why was it so hard to stand? Why did your legs feel so wobbly and your throat so dry? Why did your chest feel like a huge weight was crushing it? Weren’t you supposed to feel the opposite? Free and lively? Feel like you could float?

Another stupid thing escaped your lips. “Can you do me a favor?”.

“Another one?” He asked lifelessly- no. He was not lifeless. He was happy. You were sure of it. You’d leave and he’d cheer because he wouldn’t have to deal with another kid anymore. You knew it.

“It’s not a favor if you don’t wanna see me either”. Another bit of silence but you weren’t surprised. “Can we do that thing mortals do? You know, when they hug and say they love each other before they go their own way? Or maybe just the ‘I love you’ part”. He looked at you for a bit and you were about to apologize for making it weird and leave but Ares stood up.

You stood up.

It’s strange how something you’ve never done before can feel so right. Like it was always meant to happen or always supposed to be this way. You weren’t necessarily cold and Ares wasn’t a heater, but the second he wrapped his arms around you and you did the same for him, you felt much warmer. Not a burden type of warmth. The kind of warmth that brings you relief on a freezing cold day. That crushing feeling stayed the same though.

“I love you dad” you said and it fell out so naturally, you’d forgive anyone for thinking this was a normal occurrence. That the fight you had was just a small disagreement but otherwise you two had an amazing relationship.

You didn’t know how the words “I love you too” would sound coming out of his mouth, but it sounded better than you hoped for. It once again sounded natural and genuine even if you knew it wasn’t.

You thought it wasn’t.

No. You knew it wasn’t. This was no time for brain tricks and delusions.

Pulling apart was probably the hardest thing you had to do and your job was keeping Percy Jackson safe. That sudden coldness fell over you again and the crushing got worse.

It didn’t get any better when you left. You didn’t have the guts to look at him one last time, afraid you’d call off your deal right then and there if you made eye contact with him.

Luckily Sally was an intelligent person. She was smart enough not to ask how it went. Even if she did, it’s not like you could answer with the huge lump in your throat.

“Do you want ice cream dear?”.

You shrugged. There was that word again. Want. You didn’t know what you wanted anymore. You thought you did but it all felt wrong. There was no weight lifted off your shoulders and you didn’t feel light on your feet. You felt cold and hollow. The weight got worse and pushed down on you with so much force, you didn’t know it was even possible.

Then your eyes landed on his bike and it all came out. Your head fell into your hands and you let out sobs that were lodged deep in your chest. Your ears were ringing and you were sure you looked and sounded like the most pathetic person alive but you couldn’t care anymore. Sally, once again being an intelligent woman, took that as a sign it was time to go and pulled off. You assumed Sally would’ve dropped Percy off after you went inside. You assumed he wouldn’t wanna wait out here for you while you talked to one of the people that hated him the most. His hand patted your shoulder, notifying you that he was in the car still. Usually you’d make a joke and tell them that you were fine, but nothing came out but borderline hysterical sobs.

You grew jealous of Percy. He didn’t see Poseidon much but at least he knew deep down that Poseidon cared for him. Sometimes you’d get that feeling but you thought it was all a delusion. Fuck. Why did you keep doing that? You knew it was all a delusion.

That choice had to be the right one. It needed to be the right one.

That didn’t stop this wave of agony from drowning you, and you’d fight a thousand harpies if it meant this feeling would go away.

Omg y’all I did it😭. I mixed two ideas someone suggested with my own ideas and here we are. I hope y’all like it even though a huge portion is me yapping but to be fair I didn’t realize until after I was done and summarizing all of that didn’t seem like it’d sound right, yk? There was definitely a way I could’ve done it but I’m stupid soooo… yeah. Anyway, OOC Ares but this is my angsty fantasy so I’m making him care about his kids. In my head the whole “I hate my own kids” is him trying to convince himself he doesn’t care for them so it’s easier to stay apart from them. Idk, maybe I’ll make a part 3 from his perspective and answer why he said he was saving their life. I make no promises tho. And I know I said it’s show Ares so skipping ahead doesn’t make sense but we know what’s gonna happen Taglist: @kyuupidwrites @chadmeeksmartinswifey @lebguardians @beansficreblogs (one asked to be tagged, one asked for more dad fics, then one commented plus reblogged and one reblogged, so although majority did not ask, imma just assume y’all would wanna see a part 2😀. We’re getting the band back together like this is Phineas and Ferb)

#percy jackson #percy series #percy jackson ares #pjo tv show #ares pjo #percy jackson angst #pjo angst #ares x reader #ares x child #ares angst #idk what else to tag #HEY YOU GUUUYYYSS #I yell like we’re on Electric Company

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 months

Note

AITA FOR KISSING MY ROOMMATE GOODNIGHT?

(everyone is in their 20s. names are fake)

I’d like to start off by giving background, I(M) live with my roommate Salt. We’ve been living together for a couple of years now and met through mutual friends.

I’m straight. Salt is gay in a very open, stereotypical sense(yk flamboyant, effeminate etc) and I’m not saying this to judge him/say I resent him or something he’s a dear friend of mine and I couldn’t care less abt his sexuality or how he chooses to express himself. However it’s important to mention this for the sake of AITA

The actual ‘issue’ started a year ago, where we were both drunk coming home from a party, I was struggling to get my keys out so he called me a idiot and then just.. kissed me??

That caused me to question my sexuality for a while because being a straight man you’d think I’d be repulsed or bothered by it but no I didn’t really enjoy it(not like there was smth to enjoy it was like a couple of seconds) but didn’t really mind it either in fact it didn’t made me feel any different than how I’d feel kissing a random girl I suppose?

So yeah I experimented with my sexuality for a week or so and even almost hooked up with some guy but nope. Still straight. Just didn’t mind him(probably because of how close we are)

Anyways back to the point after that Salt avoided me for a while but in the end we did have a talk which was basically him saying he was not attracted to me, how it was a spur of the moment thing and also apologizing if he made me uncomfortable.

To that I told him he did not and joked about how he could do it again.

Fast forward a month(?) later the “kissing the homies goodnight” meme came out, so one time I asked him where was my goodnight kiss was at and he actually did it, after that we just continued doing that ig I don’t think none of us thought much of it other than some night time ritual.

Here comes the actual AITA part, I recently got a girlfriend(we’ll call her Pepper). I’ts not like I’m super in love with her but she’s a nice girl and I genuinely like her so I wish to keep her happy.

The issue with Pepper is that she talks a tad bit too much, I normally wouldn’t mind it as I’m on the quiet part, but she expects me to memorize everything she has told me(not in the “do you remember my friend” type of way in the she tells me about 10 different people and gets upset when I don’t remember their exes names or what did friend7 did on lunch a month ago type of way) she also has a tendency to hyperfixate on shows and talk about the plot & characters as if they’re actual real people which makes it hard for me to understand if something she says is about a show or real. She gets really upset if I forget even the smallest things about those stories and rants about how I never listen to her. I tried talking to her about this but it only ends with her crying so I just keep shut to keep her satisfied

A week ago I was having a really bad day of migraines and nothing seemed to help but me and Pepper had made plans to hang in my place and I didn’t want to cancel. She comes over and starts talking about her sister in life’s brunch. I ask her if she could slow down a bit cause my head hurts and I can’t really keep up.

Well she takes it the wrong way and starts yelling at me about how I always am like this and how I never listen to her. I admit I’m the asshole for saying this, but I ask her if she’s unable to sit down and have a conversation like an adult. This makes her calm down a bit and she sits down so we can discuss.

I try explaining to her how it’s unfair how she expects me to remember everything and I’d be more than happy to listen to her, maybe just slow down a bit?

In mid of it she has this weird smile on her face and tells me I look hot mad, she then leans over to kiss me which I pull away from because it feels like she’s just trying to change a topic and I think this is an important convo for our relationship.

This is the moment Salt decides to arrive at home(I should also mention he’s TERRIBLE at reading the room) he comes over gives me my goodnight kiss and leaves.

(I would like to add its not like we make out or something. He just gives me a peck on the lips, says goodnight and leaves)

This drives Pepper crazy. She starts shouting at me on how I’d not kiss her but him? And that I could go ride his dick if I’m that gay for him. She storms out of the apartment

I’d like to add that Pepper has never said anything about me and Salt. I never told her about the goodnight kiss(Because I mean who goes to their girlfriend like “hey btw I kiss my roommate at nights. but no homo”?) but we never hide it either in fact I’m pretty sure we did that while she was in room once or twice too. Pepper has made jokes about us being gay and how she feels bad about getting inbetween us but never anything on being uncomfortable or not liking it.

Now it’s been a week and we haven’t talked since. She is not answering my messages and I stopped trying to contact her from there but I’m starting to doubt myself, am I the asshole here? Should I go apologize?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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viviennevermillion · 9 months

Text

ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ, ɪꜰ ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜱᴀᴛᴇʟʟɪᴛᴇ

✧ ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: sampo koski, despite his flirty demeanor towards you, wasn't expecting anything when he tried to get you to help with his newest scheme. thankfully, you decided to be a little bold today.

✧ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴꜱ: sampo x gn!reader, flirty banter, first kisses, sampo going from suave scammer to being a flustered mess, reader is a menace, 4.9k words

✧ ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: satellite — nickelback

✧ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: making out (not intended as suggestive)

Sampo Koski was a difficult man to get close to. Despite his overly friendly, even flirty, demeanor; he always held his cards close to his chest. They say that still waters run deep but you found that with your unlikely friend and his questionable scams, it was the exact opposite. The more he talked, the harder it got to discern what was truth and what was merely a red herring. You knew there was much more to Sampo than he let on, yet, unfortunately, it was hard to even get a glimpse behind the facade.

His attempts at scamming you were always very on the nose, something you could never see yourself actually falling for. And although you weren't 100% sure of your hypothesis, you felt like he knew that. He knew he'd have to try harder to get you on board with his schemes but he didn't. There was a flicker of hope inside you that maybe that meant that somewhere along the way he had started to genuinely enjoy your company.

After the crisis regarding Belobog's future was resolved, most of your communication with Sampo happened over text; though he'd definitely seek you out when he had an excuse to. You wondered whether the longing was obvious in your eyes. Whether he saw that you waited for a sign that he felt the same.

Most of your friends would have lectured you that loving Sampo was a bad idea. That the only thing he wanted from you was your money. Perhaps some amusement when he felt bored. But you felt like there was more to him. The few moments where you got a look behind the mask, or at least were pretty sure that you did, made you curious for more. You couldn't deny there was some chemistry between you. Most people would have rolled their eyes at his continuous attempts to scam you. But you found that most of them were harmless when he threw them at you and you felt like he wasn't stupid enough to think they would genuinely work.

Whether there was any truth to his words or not when he referred to your companionship was still unclear to you but he had a way of making you feel like you truly were just joking around with an old friend. So why not play along and see where it goes?, you thought to yourself. Over time, you had started to indulge him a little; talking to him in the same way he did. You started to reciprocate his attempts at flirting and teasing; calling him a friend and terms of endearment whenever he messaged you. Ever since then, he had started to reach out to you more and more. You wondered whether, perhaps, below the shady exterior was a man looking for connection with someone he could be honest with. Or maybe that was just your wishful thinking that what you had now could evolve into something more.

"Hey fam. How are you doing? Would you be interested in a business proposal? 😇", you heard the beeping of your phone as you stepped out of the shower at your place, checking the screen to find that you had received a message from Sampo. You didn't even notice you had started smiling whilst reaching for the towel. As soon as you had dried yourself off and put on some fresh clothes, you typed a reply.

"Sampo, my dearest, I'm never interested in your business proposals, you should know that by now", you sighed and shook your head, "but feel free to tell me anyway. At least they're entertaining. 😁"

"Oh come on now!", you could clearly imagine the text in his voice, "this one I promise you're going to love! 😇" Somehow I doubt that, you chuckled. But it couldn't hurt to ask what it was.

"Well... uh... it's a bit of a doozy", he started and you already expected another wild idea of his, "but the details are as follows: I need you to smuggle this package out of the restricted zone!"

"And why, pray tell, would I do that?", you asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Look, I know you and Gepard are on good terms and you're friends with his sister so you have special connections~", he texted back, "it would be a lot easier for you to get into the restricted zone than it would be for me! You just need to frame it right! It's a valuable item and the profit is going to be BIG, I tell you that. 💸"

"I'm not interested in profit", you replied, "sunshine, you know I care about you, but I'm not sneaking into a military zone for you." This is usually the time when he starts getting desperate, you chuckle, watching the little 'Sampo is typing' notification on your phone. You were right.

"Oh come on! Pretty please? It's just a quick in and out...", you read his reply, "think of it like a date, except you're smuggling things instead of having dinner with me. It's going to be a great time!" You snorted and broke out into laughter. "How exactly is that like a date? 😂"

"Well, we're spending time together in a romantic location, full of excitement and with a little bit of danger and adventure!", he tried to reason, "we'll be bonding emotionally while doing something that's uh... a little bit of a crime; but no biggie! I'm telling you, it's going to be fantastic! ❤️"

"Your date idea sucks 😭", you replied, still chuckling. "Don't be mad", he begged, "please? Do it for me? Your old buddy Sampo? Your pal? I'll never ask for anything again ever, I swear it!" You smirked. "You said that the last 20 times and then you asked for a lot of things, honey", you reminded him. You didn't mind. It made him reach out to you over and over again.

"Okay, okay, fair point but I'm serious here!", he pleaded, "you know, the guards wouldn't even see you! I really thought this through! All you have to do is deliver this package to a mysterious man in a coat who will be waiting for you behind the fence and you'll be golden. It's easy and quick!"

"You know, 'mysterious man in a coat behind the fence' really does not make this better", you laughed at his silly proposals as you texted back, "actually that makes it worse. 😂" "Why?", Sampo asked, "I'm not saying it's not a cliché but if you think about it, the setting is really quite romantic? A dark secret alley perfect for kissing, a mysterious stranger, a night-time rendezvous... you can't deny that's the stuff movies are made of. 😇"

He's impossible, the smile wasn't going to leave your face anytime soon. "The stranger isn't even you though, so how is that a date with you?", you asked.

"Well, I never specifically said it was a date with me. Wait- does that mean you'd go on a date with me?!", you read his message, hoping there was some truth to his surprise about that idea, "either way, look, the stranger in the coat is going to give you this really cool thing called a... well, it's a really cool thing. And once I find out what that would be, it's totally going to blow your mind and you'll think it was worth it! Promise! For real!"

"Okay you made me laugh, I give you that 😂", you confessed, deciding to ignore his remark about the date for now. No reason to get this serious with him yet when he wasn't willing to meet you halfway. But as time went on, you felt as there really was no stranger in a coat at all and he likely made the whole thing up. The only question was, why? Was he waiting for a sign from you as much as you were from him?

"See? Now we had a laugh together and you feel much better about the plan! I just know you are! 😌😊", he sent the message. What you didn't know was that Sampo was smiling just as much on the other side of the screen. After all, making someone he cared about laugh was the highest honor for a fool like him, wasn't it?

"No. ❤️"

"Pretty please? 🥺"

"Let it go, darling. I'm not doing it. Find someone else to smuggle your package."

Sampo pouted. "How can you do this to me? When I really needed your help you just... turned away from me", he texted back, "and yet the next time I have a great idea I will be willing to share the profit with you again. You know why? Because you're my friend. But it's fine. I'm fine. I'm going to go sulk in a corner now... 💔"

You rolled your eyes and just sent him a teasing 'have fun! 😘'.

"You really don't care at all, do you? 😔", you read his reply. "I do, but we both know you're not going to sulk about a failed scheme", you reasoned, "if you want to, I can come over and give you a hug, but no crimes. ❤️" Your heart was beating faster as he was typing his reply. You wondered what he would think of that idea, even if he just thought that you meant it as a joke.

"...you would do that?"

"Or I'd show up with the Silvermane Guards. No telling, really 😇", you teased. "You wouldn't do that! We're best friends!", he whined.

"Only one way to find out! 🙃❤️"

"You're so mean... 😭"

Perhaps it was the fact that this had been going on for months now and you were both dancing around the idea of addressing what exactly was between the two of you to the point where it was starting to get embarrassing. He'd always message you, looking to scam you but never fully committing to it and he seemed absolutely delighted at the fact that you were still willing to talk to him every time. But this time you decided to push your luck with him.

"So should I come over or no?"

You waited in anticipation. He seemed to be hesitating for a moment; likely trying to gauge the probability of you actually dragging the Silvermane Guards to his doorstep and whether that was worth the risk. But alas, you had never done such a thing before, so why would you start now?

"...Yes. I'll be waiting", was his answer and your heart started beating rapidly at the realization that you were actually going to see him right now.

"Oh my... you're really willing to risk me bringing the guards just for a hug? I feel special 🥰", you teased. Sampo let out a disappointed sigh in his room at the Goethe Grand Hotel. "Just hurry up before I change my mind... 😔", he gave in, hoping you weren't already aware how much you made him weak in the knees and how he wasn't expecting you to ever go along with his silly plans; yet would be up for such a demand if it came for you. After all, he had snuck into a Silvermane Guard restricted zone before. He would do it again for you. Not that you would ever ask him for such a thing though. You weren't him, after all.

Sampo got lost in his thoughts so much, that he didn't even notice how the time passed. Only your knock on his door snapped him out of it. You were waiting for him outside, fully oblivious that he was a little nervous, his cheeks heating up as he hoped that you would not see it. His prayers fell on deaf ears.

You smirked slightly as he opened the door and you could see a faint blush on his face. "Hey bestie!", you greeted him with a joyful smirk on your face, "surprise, I brought no guards!" Sampo didn't think that you would hand him over to the authorities but he was relieved about the confirmation nonetheless. He gestured for you to come inside and shut the door behind you.

"It's nice to see you", he greeted you, this time being genuine. You could tell immediately, which made you think that there was something inside him that urged him to let you know this. You reached for his hand, gently pulling him into your embrace to give him that hug you promised him. Sampo froze up at the feeling of your sudden touch and you could feel his heart beating fast in his chest.

After a moment of getting used to the sensation, you could feel him relax and wrap his arms around you as well. He closed his eyes when you couldn't see his face, focusing on your fingertips running up and down his back. His heart fluttered. Who knew his little attempt at a scam could evolve into this?

"This is nice...", he admitted, his voice a lot quieter than you were used to, which caught you a little off-guard, "...I didn't think you'd actually come." He let go of you, secretly wishing he could make that embrace last longer without making things awkward.

"Did you think I was joking?", you wondered.

"...A little bit, yeah", he sighed.

"Why?", you asked, your nerves giving you a tingling sensation as you realized that this was new; that you had overstepped a line that had been separating the two of you for months and it might just change how you approached each other completely. "Well, I'm used to the rejection by now", Sampo chuckled. You rolled your eyes. "Rejecting your scams is a lot different from rejecting a hug with a friend", you reasoned.

"You know, you're right", he shrugged, "I hope you're not mad about the scam. It's a compulsion at this point." You laughed. "It was funny, so I forgive you", you winked at him, making his heart skip a beat.

"So anyway, about my newest scam-", he joked and you playfully hit his shoulder. "Don't test your luck, Sampo", there was a glint in your eye that was challenging him. "Wait, wait hear me out", he smirked and you could tell from his expression that he was hardly serious. You didn't know that it was because Sampo Koski was actually really nervous about the whole thing and using the topic he was most familiar with to try and distract you from how flustered he was. You were here now, you had hugged him, he had let his guard down in front of you; even if just a little bit... what happened now?

"I just really need you to smuggle that package..."

"You just tried that one, hun. Don't", you spoke softly and brushed a strand of his dark blue hair out of his face, your hand remaining on his skin, gently caressing his cheek, "why don't we just sit down on the couch and you can rest your head on my lap, hmm? Does that sound nice?" You had gotten this far with him already; you had gotten impatient without even noticing it. You were ready to place all cards on the table if Sampo was willing to follow. Besides, should he reject you, you could always play it off as a joke. Thankfully, he did not do that.

"I won't say no to that", he smiled back at you and let you take his hand as you lead him over to the hotel room sofa. His awkwardness when he placed his head in your lap didn't fly over your head. You started running your fingers through his hair, hearing him let out a relaxed sigh as he leaned his cheek against your stomach, still wondering how he could have possibly ended up here. At this point, he just let it happen. Your touch felt so comforting. "This is nice", he admitted, closing his eyes to enjoy the feeling of your fingertips carding through the strands of hair. "Do you deserve this much affection?", you asked teasingly, reminding him of the many times he had "tried" to scam you.

"Oh I know I don't", he laughed, a proud smile on his face, "but somehow I'm getting it anyway. Funny how that works out for me." You smiled down at him, thinking how adorable he looked laying in your lap like this, just letting you work your magic. "One of the many miracles of life, I suppose", you shrugged, letting out a chuckle.

He remained in your lap for a while, just focusing on the sensation of your touch. In all the times you met Sampo, he had never been this quiet for such a long time. He remained so still that you were wondering whether he had fallen asleep. You got your answer when he raised his voice again after about 15 minutes of this. "Can I say something?", he asked and you raised an eyebrow. "When do you ever NOT say something?", you laughed, "usually you don't even ask."

He chuckled. "Alright, yeah you got me there."

You were wondering what he had to say that was so different; perhaps so genuine, that he had to ask for reassurance that it was okay to say. "I just wanted to say... I'm glad you're here", he tried to keep his cool, not noticing how he was awkwardly fiddling with his fingers, "it's a little sad that you rejected my business proposal, but... uh... this is a... nice alternative. I don't really know what I expected when you said you'd come over, honestly." You smile down at him, noticing how difficult it was for him to keep his mask on when he was in such a close, vulnerable state with you and trying to say something he actually meant. You had no doubt about that now.

"Hey... I have a question", he continued, his eyes fluttering open to meet yours; heart beating fast when he saw you gaze at him with such a soft, almost loving, expression, "why are you so chill about the scams? You're the only person who never seems really annoyed about it. Everyone else is pretty much done with me when I try that. Which is fine, I don't need them to like me, I just need their cash... but you're different. Why?"

Your heart was growing warm at the fact that you were now close enough; comfortable enough; that you felt like you were really talking heart-to-heart with him, without any ulterior motives or distance between the two of you. "Well, I didn't really take the scams seriously", you shrugged and thought about his question, "and they were funny. I like talking to you... despite your questionable run-ins with the Silvermane Guards." He laughed softly.

"I honestly never had the feeling you were even serious about the scams when you tried them on me", you further admitted, "the ones you sent me just seemed a little too silly for you to actually believe they'd work on me."

"Heh. You're right about that", he sighed with a smile on his face as you started gently touching his cheek again, "with you, I guess I was mostly just messing around. Seeing what I could get away with. Getting to talk to you more..."

The last one was almost a whipser, but you heard it either way.

"So... uhm... can we stay like this for a while longer?", Sampo asked with a hopeful look in his eyes. You were worried that if you backed away now; he might decide that he should have never let you get that close and gotten so attached and you might not get another chance to be this close to him again. So you decided to push it a little further.

"I have a better idea", you suggested, gently removing his head from your lap so you could lay down beside him, "can I wrap my arms around you?" You were nervous too, though you were, surprisingly, keeping it together better than Sampo was.

"Y-you want to cuddle?", he asked for clarification; disbelief written on his face. You nodded and he opened his arms to you. You snuggled up to him, nuzzling his neck. "W-what are you doing? I- I mean... I'm not complaining", he stammered, shivering slightly. That was the moment Sampo's defenses broke. The mask had fallen and you could clearly feel the heat radiating from his cheeks. He was at your mercy now, just hoping you wouldn't ridicule him. How did I let it get this far?, he internally cursed himself, but making no attempts to back away. Curiosity got the better of him.

Meanwhile, you were having the time of your life. Seeing the usually so confident, "tall, blue and handsome" Sampo Koski like this was an opportunity you couldn't miss out on. "I didn't know you could lose your cool like this", you teased with new-found confidence, now sure you had the upper hand in this situation, "that's interesting, don't you think?"

Sampo was struggling to keep his heart rate down. "It's not like I'm nervous or anything!", he pouted, his head spinning from the unfamiliar sensation of holding you this close to him, "I'm just... uh... um... I'm just enjoying this. I'm enjoying it very... uh... a-a lot. Yes."

You had a triumphant smirk on your face. "That's good to know, Sampo", you purred and turn his head to face you by grabbing his chin gently. Your lips were now inches apart and Sampo just looked at you with wide eyes. He could feel your breath on his skin when you spoke. "I think I found a new method to turn down your scams", you chuckled.

The close proximity made his heartbeat skyrocket. "Uh... yeah... I'd say this is one of those... methods... as one might say", he replied absentmindedly. Wherever his mind was, it was certainly no longer on the conversation topic.

"What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?", you teased, your lips brushing his slightly as you spoke. The fleeting touch of your lips on his made his brain basically short-circuit. Sampo felt his limbs grow heavier and he tried to form words but he could only keep looking into your eyes.

You wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him closer. "Do you still want me to smuggle that package through the restricted zone?", you asked, referencing the scam from earlier. Sampo nodded. "P-please", the word was a mere whisper, his voice had cracked. "Please what?", you asked with a smirk on your face. Was this what they call Schadenfreude?

"Please... just... forget about the scam", he gave up, his breath hitching in his throat, "just kiss me." He looked at you with pleading eyes that made your knees weak and made you wonder how you actually managed to get Sampo Koski to completely lose his composure. "There we go", you whispered affectionately and smiled, closing your eyes. It's rare to hear him say 'please' about anything that isn't a scam, you thought. Your lips finally met his in a soft but also passionate kiss.

Sampo melted into your embrace, sliding one of his hands to your cheek to hold your head close to his as he kissed back. Your tongue clashed with his and you rested your hand on the exposed skin of his waist. Sampo pulled you closer to him, his muscles relaxing as he accepted this new situation. You smiled into the kiss, gently plucking at his lower lip with your own. You pressed a couple of soft kisses to the corner of his mouth, causing him to smile as well.

Sampo still had his eyes closed, trying to capture your lips again but you had instead decided to move on to his neck, gently trailing kisses over his skin. He shuddered, his hand traveling to your shoulder to draw circles on them with his fingertips. "How are you feeling, love?", you asked, your hand placed firmly on his chest so you could feel how fast his heart was beating in his ribcage. Sampo tried to gather his thoughts but the only thing he managed to get out was a faint "yes" he whispered.

"Well, that's not a feeling now, is it?", you smirk, repeatedly kissing a sensitive spot you found on his neck. His hand squeezed yours, holding it tightly within his own. "Please stop teasing me", he whined, trying to blow a loose strand of hair out of his eyes. He put a finger under your chin, lifting it so he could reach your lips again. He kissed you once more, losing himself in the sensation. You kissed back passionately, burying your fingers in his hair that was already messy from him having been laying here for a while. Every time you had to break the kiss to take a breath, Sampo was already pulling you in for another one.

"...love you", he whispered against your lips between kisses. You weren't even sure he noticed that those words slipped out of his mouth, but they made your heart flutter and caused you to pour all your love into the next kiss. Sampo's lips were trembling and he felt a tingling sensation in his stomach and his heart. He felt like he never wanted that kiss to end. "Don't stop", he whispered softly, moving in for another taste of your lips.

You indulged him for a moment, then pushing him away gently, still with a teasing smirk on your face. "You know? I'm actually quite hungry", you remarked, getting up to make your way over to the kitchen counter, "you got anything in the fridge?"

"...you're killing me", he whined but let out a desperate chuckle, holding his hands over his flushed face. His skin felt like it was on fire. He could hear you chuckle about his predicament as you opened the fridge door. You inspected the ingredients in there, your eyes falling onto a leftover slice of pizza with banana pieces on it wrapped in transparent foil. It's okay, we're not here to judge, you reminded yourself with a facial expression that indicated that you were most definitely judging.

"By the way", Sampo heard you call out to him, "I love you too." "Did- did I say that?", he asked, feeling another wave of heat rush through his cheeks. "Sure did. I just got to kiss you for the first time, don't tell me I'll have to ship you off to the nursery home", you laughed, "what do you want on your sandwich?"

Sampo waved you off, not interested in thinking too hard about your question. "I don't know, a vegetable or something", he mumbled, his thoughts still all over the place. You looked at the vegetable selection and found that you had teased him enough for today. The chili peppers would have been a bit too much.

You brought your sandwiches over to the couch and handed him a plate. Sampo looked at the food and noticed he was actually really looking forward to eat it. "You make the best sandwiches", he complimented you, sitting up and pressing a kiss to your cheek. "You haven't even tried them yet...", you raised an eyebrow and he insisted that he didn't need to try them to know that. He just trusted you with that. He's so sweet, you caught yourself thinking and mused that it was probably time to talk about the elephant in the room.

"So...", nervousness settled in your heart again, staring at the sandwich rather than looking him in the eye, "do you think we can... you know... make this official? Be a couple? Go on dates that like... don't involve sneaking into restricted military zones and committing crimes?" Sampo let out a laugh. "I thought the restricted zone was a wonderful date spot", he pouted, earning a chuckle from you, "but yes. I'd love that. I love you. I mean, I already told you that... apparently... that is a thing that happened..."

His thoughts trailed off again. Right now, Sampo's approach to everything was pretty much "you know what? sure." and you felt like Qliphoth could break through the window and start singing one of Serval's songs in Hook's voice and your boyfriend wouldn't even question it.

"Did you skip through the other 4 stages of grief or did I just not notice them?", you joked, taking a bite out of your sandwich. "I don't know, I think bargaining was quite prevalent", he chuckled and leaned his head on your shoulder, "but being with you could never cause me grief anyway..."

"So", you continued, "are you going to tell me about your newest scam?" He smiled at the question, finding it curious how you didn't mind hearing about his shenanigans. "If you don't interrupt me this time", he nodded and you shook your head, indicating a pinky promise with your fingers.

"You see, there's this ugly boot I found in an alleyway that I'm trying to sell as a powerful ancient relic..."

You listened to Sampo tell you his future "business plans" and as soon as you had both finished your food, he snuggled up to you, resting his head in the crook of your neck; his breathing slowing. You two just talked for a while, more honest than you had ever been with each other and it felt good to finally know that Sampo loved you back.

He fell asleep in your arms that night, dreaming of your kisses and the non-criminal dates you promised him.

#honkai star rail #star rail #hsr #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #sampo koski #sampo koski x reader #sampo x reader #sampo x you #hsr sampo #sampo honkai #sampo fluff #honkai star rail fluff #hsr fic #honkai star rail fic #sampo x y/n

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carpedzem · 2 months

Text

under the cut i want to talk a little bit, maybe overshare as well. ill try to keep it short (rereading nat here. i didnt). its a sad post, might make some of you angry but not for the reasons you think

i was staying away on purpose, but a few people asked about me so i wanted to let you know that hey, im lurking, im waiting to see what happens. maybe some things will change in the future but im putting it out here so its all in one place

i think i want to start with saying thank you again for sticking around, supporting my art and my thoughts and having discussions with me. i really opened up about myself and what I created here. im very anxious person and it influences my life on every level, so being heard, seeing people laughing at my jokes, loving my art has been so so important to me

about the situation, the gogcident if you will, i logged out as soon as i saw things going down and been getting updates though different source. and while situation is still on going and i dont know where it will go, as how it ends, theres two or three things im firm on that will always be true for me:

i really hate how believe all victims turns into believe everyone who speaks first, no matter what they say, no matter context, no matter proof. the first statement made in this case was untrue in a lot of important details and while i dont think caitis feeling are wrong or invalid i think her first statement made this situation into something it isnt. i think every victim should be heard but attacking everyone who was accused right away is not a solution

i do believe that everyone who was accused of anything has every right to defend themselves. the way its constantly taken away from dteam is not lost on me and its insane and upsetting

you can be traumatized by the events that werent in its core meant to be traumatizing. sometimes people act shitty and leave scars on you and sometimes you can do the same to other people

edited note bc i want this to be here as well: guilty until proven innocent is a crazy mindset and i cannot imagine situation that i would allow it. some idiots dont even realise how dangerous rhetoric that is. including accusers not being obligated to provide any proof of their claims

twt is the worst thing to deal with any discourse, misunderstanding or any delicate situation. i think no ones there cares for any victims period. i wish that place the worst

okay so what now. i havent decided yet. georges and dreams moves so far confirmed for me that no matter what happened it wasnt with malicious intentions. ill wait to see how this plays out and then ill decide about my next steps. one think i did for sure is i uninstalled twt from my phone (and that already bit my ass the moment dream started his space…) that part of fandom, both people who like (liked?) and hate dream is so damn self-destructive, toxic, manipulative and performative it wasnt worth it anymore. for here, i dont know yet. i dont hate dteam, i think this is very unfortunate and sad and complicated situation that left people very deeply hurt. and i wish it wasnt this way and im pretty sure dteam also wish that. but they cant change it and i cant change it even more

now this is something i dont really know how to tell you but let me try. i never mentioned this bc when i had those realizations, it was too late, everyone moved on and i felt stupid for dwelling on this. i feel stupid now, typing this. the thing is, drituation left me quite traumatized. fucking pathetic, i know. the sudden explosion of fandom left me really badly hurt. i lost a lot of people i genuinely believed to be friends with, and i miss them dearly. i felt, fuck it, still feel deeply betrayed by some of them. i dont want people guess who is who thats not the point, those people moved on long time ago. but that hurt has been really difficult to deal with, especially since realistically i know its quite stupid. crying over some people who were following me back for a few months? but i tried to let myself heal and grow love for this community again and i thought we will be okay. drituation felt like the end of the world but we got through it and I thought we are smarter. and well. im not trying to blame anyone or even a whole community, idk maybe i want to blame the universe for putting me here or society for working this way i dont know. but im hurting and i need to find a better way to deal with things going the wrong way. and it deeply upsets me but im afraid that i have to learn how to love you all less. and i honestly dont know yet what that means, how moving forward will look like. i dont have to make this decision now so i let myself stay away from social media for a while still and then go with presented situation the best i can. i dont try to make anyone responsible for my wellbeing i want to make this clear. im just trying to share my feelings and give you context for whatever happen in the nearest future. no matter what i need more healthy relationship not even with ccs but with community itself (and if you see me rebloging hazbin hotel fanarts. spare me...)

in this place i do want to state that no matter what i dont think dteam are bad people. im not closing myself at possibility of participating in the fandom, probably less though things i mentioned earlier. but if any of those things make you uncomfortable in any way, feel free to unfollow/softblock

im leaving my askbox open if anyone has anything to say, add, or idk, scream at me. not sure if i answer any tho. also if i delete this post in the next 10 minutes out of embarrassment then well, haha

on the final note i want once again thank you all for supporting me when i needed help for my cat. you all did something amazing, something i will never forget and i wish to hug everyone of you in person. thank you

see you around. one day. maybe tomorrow maybe in 10 days. idk

and if you are moving on in different direction, if we ever meet again, dont be a stranger

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littlemissaddict · 10 months

Text

No Joke - Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Summary: After being asked out as a joke too many times, she turns down the only genuine one out of fear of being laughed at yet again. Angst with a happy ending. Part 2 maybe if anyone wants it.

Word Count: 3321

She flopped back on the bed with the phone in one hand while her free hand twirled the spiral cord around her fingers. As she spoke, she kept a careful eye on her bedroom door, well aware her mother was home and it wasn’t like she didn’t share what happened in her life with her either but today, she didn’t think she could handle the embarrassment of her mother knowing she got asked out as a joke and not for the first time either.

“I don’t know Rob, James just didn’t seem like the type” she sighed and she meant it. Normally they were lab partners and he was quiet, sure but he was sweet and nothing like the rest of the male population of the school that had taken it upon themselves to torment the girls. Although it seemed her feelings about him were very wrong as just before the bell had gone to signal the end of their lunch period, he had asked her out only to laugh in her face when she had accepted.

“But look at it this way, did you actually like any of them enough to want to date them or were you just accepting because you’re desperate for a relationship?” Robin asked, not even trying to sugarcoat her words and the worst thing was she was right, as always.

“I mean I guess so, I could have felt that way about James” she lies, not wanting to give Robin the satisfaction of knowing she was right. The truth was there is only one guy she wishes would ask her out but it’s a wish that will never be fulfilled because he’ll never see her like that, to him she’s just Dustin Hendersons’ older sister. She hears Robin mutter a ‘bullshit’ and she rolls her eyes, knowing that Robin has seen right through her lies, “you know what I’m done with guys from now on I’m not interested in anything other than me” she states with a nod even though Robin can’t see her.

“Yeah I’ll believe that when I see it” Robin laughs, beginning to say something else that she doesn’t quite hear as she’s distracted by the sound of her mom calling her name.

“Honey, could you just get the door, I would but I’m a bit preoccupied at the moment” she calls from down the hall.

“I’m sorry I gotta go but I’ll call you later” she apologises, rushing out her goodbyes before she practically throws the receiver back on its stand and pushes herself up from the bed. Catching sight of her rumpled clothes and mussed hair she attempts to straighten herself out as she makes her way towards the door, knowing how much her mom prides them in looking presentable in others company, even if it is just to answer the door.

Pulling open the door, she reveals the last person she expected to see stood on her doorstep this evening. “Steve?” she asks, shock evident in her tone. “Dustin’s not here, he’s at-” she starts to say but Steve cuts her off.

“Hellfire, I know” he nods with a warm smile but she notices the way he’s bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet, almost as if he’s nervous which is ridiculous because he’s been to her house plenty of times before and her mother loves him as if he was her own son. “But I’m not here for Dustin” he clarifies.

“So who are you here for?” she asks, the words tumbling out of her mouth before she can stop herself. They’re still standing on the doorstep and she knows if she’s out here any longer her mom will wonder what’s going on and well she doesn’t want to invite him in because she’s not even sure what he wants or even if that’s what he’s expecting.

“You, I’m here to ask-um” he stalls which she vaguely registers as she’s still focused on the fact that he said he was here for her, “I wanted to- Will you go on a date with me?” he asks finally, eyes widening in panic when her face falls.

She can’t believe the words that have come out of his mouth. No way did Steve Harrington just ask her out, it has to be a joke. Her eyes prickle with tears that she blinks away, not wanting to show him just how much his cruel joke has upset her. She wants to cry. She wants to scream. Anything than to face the boy waiting patiently on her doorstep for an answer. She doesn’t even know why Steve would participate in the cruel prank craze that’s going around and she doesn’t even know how he would have heard about it considering he’s finished with high school now. Probably Robin, she thinks but then Robin wouldn’t tell him to come prank her considering she knows just how upset she’s been when she’s fallen for it the last three times. No, clearly Steve Harrington hasn’t fully changed his ways and is still the king he was back in school, well she’d been broken too many times in the last week to fall for it again.

“No” she says with a shake of her head while avoiding looking at him, not wanting to see the disappointment in his face that she hadn’t fallen for his games. Instead she shuts the door, not caring whether or not he was still standing on the doorstep as she turned and made her way back to her room, ignoring her mom’s questions as she shut her bedroom door before finally allowing the tears to fall.

The tears keep coming and coming until she’s all out of tears to cry. Until all she’s left with is a headache and the empty feeling that follows. Deciding now would be a good time to call it a night, she switches her lamp off and falls back into bed fully clothed as she wishes for sleep to come.

At some point she must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knows, Dustin is barging into her room full force causing the door to bang against the wall which shocks her awake. She pushes herself up onto her elbows as she looks over at his fuzzy form as her eyes are still hazy from sleep, or maybe the crying she’s not one hundred percent sure which.

“What did you do?” he asks with a sudden urgency in his voice and she recognises the annoyance in his tone even in her half asleep state but she doesn’t know what he’s asking her about. He rolls his eyes at her lack of answer coming further into the room until he’s stood at the foot of her bed, “Steve” he clarifies as it all comes rushing back to her.

Squinting at the brightness of her bedside lamp as she leans over to switch it on so they are not talking in the dim light coming in from the hallway and Dustin’s face immediately softens when he takes sight of her obviously still puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. Considering there is about five years between them in age, they are still pretty close as siblings and can be very protective over the other.

“What happened? Do I need to kill Steve?” he asks and she chuckles slightly, finding humour in his words that he would even suggest doing that to his ‘best friend’. “Cause I will just say the word?” he adds, nodding fiercely as he sits down which causes his curls to bounce around as he does.

She shrugs in response, rubbing at her hands over her face before she focuses on him again. “He asked me out,” she says finally, “on a date” she adds as if it wasn’t already obvious from her previous words and Dustin’s face lights up in a smile only to fall again moments later.

“I know,” he replies, which causes her heart to plummet. Dustin knew about the prank and he didn’t try to stop it. She could feel the anger at his betrayal bubbling inside her but before she could react he carried on speaking, “he asked me what the chances of you saying yes would be” he says, looking at her as if he was revealing some big secret, “and I was almost certain you would say yes so what I don’t get is why you’re both miserable”

“He’s probably just disappointed because his prank backfired,” she responds with a roll of her eyes. She was completely done with the conversation at this point and hoped that he would leave so that she could just go back to sleep and try to forget about this whole horrid situation, for a little while at least until she woke up in the morning.

“Prank? What prank?” he asks, confused.

“You know the same one that Thomas and Ben and James and the rest of the male population of Hawkins High thought would be funny” She answers sarcastically, throwing her arms in the air as if to emphasise her words, “you know the one where you ask a girl on a date only to laugh at her when she accepts” she practically yells at him, even though it’s not his fault, she’s just tired and upset and worked up over boys that mean nothing to her.

Her name falls from his lips causing her to take notice of the stunned look on his face which she guesses it’s because of her outburst as normally she’s quiet, calm and never shouts. “That’s not what this was” he says slowly, almost as if he’s afraid she’ll yell at him again.

“How do you know?” she questions, a little irritated by him sticking by Steve when she was supposed to be his sister.

“Because before he asked me what you say if he asked, he asked me if I would be alright with it if the two of you started dating” he reveals as she stares blankly at him, the anger now dissipating but guilt seeping in in place of it. “And just so you know, I would be okay with it if you did want to date him” he adds with a supportive smile and she can’t help but smile back at him until she remembers she'd said no.

“Though I guess it doesn’t matter now anyway” she shrugs, her body slumping back against the pillows.

“Hey don’t lose hope yet, call him because I doubt he's moved on that quick” he scoffs at her dramatics.

And she does, she wastes no time in picking up the phone and calling Steve’s home phone as Dustin sits on watching in amusement at her eagerness to speak to Steve. Though the weight is only momentarily lifted from her shoulders as the phone goes to the answering machine. “What now?” she asks pathetically, feeling like a child.

Dustin’s quiet for a minute as he thinks before he turns to her, “Robin” he says simply and her eyes widen. Of course, Dustin was a genius, not that she tells him that because his ego was already big enough. It doesn’t take her long to punch in Robin’s number but once again her call goes unanswered, “try it again?” he suggests, so she does but gets the same result.

“She’s gotta pick up eventually right?” she asks as she starts punching the number in again.

As it was Steve did go over to Robin’s after his rejection, telling her everything and maybe he cried a little but Robin wouldn’t tell anyone. Robin on the other hand had never seen him so dejected but she did have an inkling as to why he got the answer he did.

“So you don’t think she meant it?” Steve asks, as his hope tentatively begins to return after Robin’s explanation.

“She’s had this stupid school girl crush on you for longer than she’ll admit to” she huffs out a laugh as she remembers all the times she had to listen to the girl in question go on about Steve, “but after you decided to put all that King Steve bullshit behind you, I think it became more than that once she saw the real you” Robin tells him because it was true, somehow the girl had fallen in love with the dingus that she called her best friend.

“So now what?” he asks, sinking back into the couch as a mixture of feelings bubble up inside him. Happiness and relief that she does feel the same about him but he’s still dejected over the fact that she said no while he has no idea of how to prove to her that he really does want to date her. Little did he know that his problem was about to be solved as the phone began ringing. “Are you going to answer that?” he asked, turning his head towards Robin who looked lost in thought.

“Nah can’t be important” she shook her head as the shrill sound stopped only momentarily before starting up again.

“You sure?” he questioned, raising his eyebrows at her, clearly whoever it was wanted to speak to her desperately but instead of answering Steve watched as her eyes grew wide and a devilish smile took over her face. “What?” he asked, very much at a loss for what was happening.

Robin scrambled up from the couch, reaching for the phone just as the ringing cut out again. The missed call didn’t deter her knowing that if she was correct about who was calling, then the phone would ring again. Not even seconds later it did and Robin was quick to pick it up on the first ring, not even getting a chance to speak before her voice crackled through the receiver.

“Is Steve there?” she asked, urgency clear in her tone but Robin, feeling smug about being correct, decided to tease her.

“What no hello for me?” she chuckled and she could picture the eye roll the girl was doing on the other end of the line.

“Please I need to talk to him, I made a mistake and I need to tell him” she pleaded, at this point she was not above begging Robin to let her talk to Steve but she held back seeing as Dustin was still sat on the bed with her and well she’d already embarrassed herself enough tonight so she didn’t want to stoop even lower.

“Okay okay, gimme a second” she laughs at her desperation over such a silly little situation that was all a big misunderstanding in the first place. Robin’s thankful the phone is cordless as it means she doesn’t have to stretch the cord all the way over to where Steve is sitting on the couch as she takes the phone to him. “I’ve played matchmaker enough for tonight so it’s time for you to take over” she winks as she hands him the receiver, earning herself a confused look in response but she only smiles before heading in the direction of the kitchen to give the two of them space to talk.

Whereas she on the other hand doesn’t have the option of privacy as Dustin is still waiting, still listening intently for any sign as to what is going on. “Steve?” she asks after she hears Robin’s voice getting quieter as she assumes she’s handed the phone over to him.

“Yeah it’s me” he replies quickly after hearing her voice but he can’t say he isn’t surprised considering how she left him, “I’m sorry for tonight, I didn’t know” he apologises before she can even say anything else.

She sighs as the embarrassment and hurt of each moment invades her mind yet again, “You don’t need to apologise, you couldn’t have known” she replies as tears prick at her eyes again and she scrubs them away with the palm of her free hand. “If anyone should apologise it’s me, I’m sorry that I thought you were just like them, that you would even think to play such a cruel joke because I know you’re not like that” she says with a small sniffle. Dustin grabs her attention for a minute holding out tissues that he got from god knows where considering he hadn’t left his spot on the bed but she waves him off with a small appreciative smile.

“Hey it’s okay, you’re allowed to be sceptical especially after those idiots and I don’t blame you for trying to protect yourself” Steve reassures, completely understanding her reaction now that he knows the full story behind why she did what she did.

“You know if the offer is still open then I’d like to change my earlier answer” she tells him, her voice barely above a whisper as she prepares herself for the rejection that she thought was inevitably coming.

Steve bites his lip to conceal the grin that is threatening to take over his face, though he doesn’t know what he’s trying to hide it for because he’s alone and well he’s already made a fool of himself plenty of times in front of Robin so what was one more. “So you’ll go on a date with me? But what made you change your mind?” he asked, curious to her sudden change of heart.

“Dustin told me that you two had talked and helped me realise that you are nothing like you used to be” she admits, still annoyed with herself that she would even think Steve, the guy who carts around the kids to school; to the arcade; to Hellfire and pretty much wherever they want to go without complaint. Steve, who also accepted the fact that Robin was into girls and not guys with no judgement and never treated her differently because of it, would actually be anything like the part he played in high school just because that was expected of him.

“Well remind me to thank the little twerp when I see him” Steve laughs, complete bliss filling him now that everything he’s wished for, for who knows how long, seems to be falling into place. “So about that date, are you free now?” he asks.

“You’re joking,” she asks, wide eyed as she looks towards Dustin who was looking at her expectantly, “Steve, mom would kill me if I was to go out this late” she replies finally, eyes still fixed on Dustin expecting him to back her up yet his face showed nothing.

“Nope it’s not up for discussion, get ready I’ll be ten minutes” he adds before the line goes dead.

“He’s coming isn't he?” Dustin asks as she puts the phone down with a dejected sigh as she nods. “Thought so, now come on chop chop you’ve got a lot to do to sort-” he waves his hand vaguely gesturing to her appearance, “that out” he finishes with a laugh.

She gawkes at him, almost not believing that he’s telling her to break the rules. “I can’t go mom’ll-” she tries but he shakes his head.

“Nope you're going, I’ll cover for you,” he smiles, “just sneak out the window and mom won’t know any difference” he nods, standing up from the bed and walking out of the room, closing the door behind him.

She stares at the door in silence once it’s closed, still hesitant to make a move and get ready although she knows the longer she leaves it the more chance Steve will turn up on the doorstep again and the less chance she’ll have to sneak out without her mom knowing. So she does and ten minutes later, she’s washed up the best she can, snuck out of the window and is waiting curbside for Steve to show up, which he does moments later.

“Are you ready for a night to remember?” he jokes as she climbs into the passenger seat next to him before driving off before her mom can find out she’s gone.

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x reader fluff #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington drabble #steve harrington oneshot #steve harrington angst #steve harrington #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things

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saccharinescorpion · 8 months

Text

oh christ i typed up way too many thoughts about the Teal Mask story

spoilers of course

TO BEGIN WITH literally everything here has a big ol’ asterisk with “subject to change” attached to it, i was surprised at how much of a “to be continued” ending the main story had and i’m trying not to get my hopes too high for Indigo Disk, but wowzers

Carmine’s line about tourism… i have a lot of feelings, but the one looming over my head like a fucking sword of Damocles is “did the writers not intend this to have as much weight as i am ascribing to it lmao” because it’s only the one line and GOD i don’t want to be the “reading too much into stories for babies” person all the time but!! But!!!!

(recalls the scene where Nemona talks to you about feeling isolated because of her talent and recalls my feeling of “why was this only in one scene where she flatout looks at the camera and says this”)

well even if it’s not supposed to be “that” important-

1) sure makes the TCG Tournament in Hawaii feel even more bitterly ironic lmao (obligatory yes i know the game writers are not responsible for most stuff that happens in the wider franchise i’m just SAYING it’s ironic)

2) GOSH it sure does make those ugly jokes people kept making about Carmine even grosser than they already were (if you don’t know what i’m talking about, Don’t Worry About It)

As someone on twitter said it feels weird to have this sort of plot point after not exploring it at all in the game with the Hawaii analogue. at the same time i do have to wonder if it was a response to working on those games and doing some thinking. Who can say

God ALL of that was for one line

KIERAN!! Okay, i know i’ve been giving Kieran a lot of shit but his plot progression is genuinely very compelling. recent games have been exploring the “rival who feels inadequate” type of character but this is the first time one has gone off the deep end like this, and i really hope they push it into interesting places

Cutesy shy “oh gosh oh wowzers” pre-development Kieran… in the end i did feel a bit charmed by how sincere he is for the record!

but also i’m genuinely so glad he ended up having Inner Darkness lol

Sorry Kieran i just don’t like it when it feels like the writer is trying way too hard to make me say “i want to protect you”

By extension sorry Wally lmao because he really was the ancestor of this type in the Pokemon franchise

I tried not to take the fact that i really didn’t want the damn Ogerpon too personally lol, this is one of those moments where i really had to force myself to step back and remember that these games are not for me, they are for tiny children who often really do buy into the Gotta Catch Em All thing and probably felt some genuine inner turmoil at this

But god like, please. I have my giant puppy lizard who makes vroom vroom noises. Ogerpon you are so cute but we can never have the bond i have with my bike

Kieran falling to his knees after the last battle genuinely got me, so did him punching the shrine even with the dumb “owie ><” gag afterwards

OKAY talking about the battles damn Kieran and Carmine were tough opponents i had to try Kieran’s last fight like three times (admittedly because i was using my weaker Kitakami team but STILL)

Kieran feeling bad for the ogre was projecting “THIS CHARACTER FEELS LIKE AN OUTCAST” and i picked that up loud and clear, and that was good, but i wish they actually… made him seem like an outcast?

Don’t get me wrong, Kieran definitely has self-confidence issues, issues with talking to others, anxiety issues (possibly), and that can easily make someone feel like an outcast

But i feel like there’s a big difference between that and someone (Ogerpon and her trainer) who is actively shunned and mistreated by the people around them, and i was really hoping for that from Kieran

It’s just the Pokemon thing of finding it hard to depict people really being actively malicious (see Penny and Team Star’s bullies and their enablers all doing their thing off-screen and then leaving off-screen)

But it’s doubly weird because they didn’t have much issue with showing characters in this story being terrible (Carmine)

Carmine!!! Her terribleness was genuinely so entertaining, a lot of the time i was simultaneously laughing and thinking “oh people are going to be SO mad”

But real talk for all my love of Girls Who Suck i do actually kind of get where some people are coming from, she is genuinely very abrasive and unpleasant at times, and though i don’t agree at least i can tell where the character hate is stemming from (unlike some of the absolute batshit stuff i saw about Geeta and Nemona, don’t get me staaaarted)

And speaking of… okay i feel like i’m pushing it even talking about this but i feel it would be dishonest to pretend that i’m not thinking about it

SOOOO the “it’s not like i hit him” line… another case of “did the writers intend this to be as big as it is in my mind,” combined with uhhh writers from a different generation than me, let’s say

For now i will interpret that at face value, but like… damn, i don’t think that reads as you want it to especially in a Pokemon game

Carmine pleaseeeeeee say you’re sorry to Kieran in Indigo Disk please please please i know she apologized for leaving him in the dark but my dearest dream is for her to apologize for being so mean to him all the time. she needs to just treat him better in general. please i will forgive Kieran having to apologize for taking the mask if we can do this please

I know i know cultural differences but we already had Clavell apologize for the failures of the school system, this isn’t THAT big of a stretch

I am genuinely curious if Indigo Disk will pull a reverse plot twist and reveal Ogerpon’s trainer to be a bad person or reveal that he was the one to attack the Loyal Three first because if not DAMN we’re just going to have some flat out evil Pokemon? that we can potentially put on a team with Ogerpon?????

Ogerpon is a silly lil girl :)

I still haven’t done Perrin’s plot lol

#pokemon scarlet and violet #teal mask #carmine pokemon #kieran pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet spoilers #teal mask spoilers #pokemon dlc #ogerpon #kieran #carmine

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mioviaz · 6 months

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no one talks about how lonely it is growing up a lesbian. i’ve been questioning my sexuality since i was about 10 when i first started looking at my (now ex) best friend in a different way, i genuinely thought she was so beautiful and i thought everyone thought like that. then when she started talking about boys and having me relate i just went along with it, i ‘dated’ so many guys in primary school because i thought if i contributed to this norm it would make my feelings go away, of course it never did . as my best friend looked at all these guys all i could ever do was look at her in that way instead.

having my first ever wlw relationship in year 7 was awkward, of course it was, it was one of them silly little relationships where you ask them out on a post it note, cute . so i asked this girl out and we broke up not even 4 hours later, guess why, a few guys found out and were making fun of us and specifically me , for liking women.

over half a year later i had my first ‘proper’ wlw relationship, and with that girl i also had my first kiss with her at 12 years old which even seemed way to young at the time but what can you do, and honestly , it was one of the best experiences i ever had . even though that relationship didn’t work out i still sometimes think back to that moment and remember how much of a turning point that was for me in properly confirming my sexuality .

throughout my school years i had those moments of homophobia, i think , as it is sad to say, every queer person did . it would be in the casual jokes , the rude comments disguised as just banter or the plain and out right humiliation . and the main feeling of loneliness comes from having a lot of straight friends growing up, hearing them talking about loving boys and these great relationships they want to have and not being able to ever relate, these causal conversations always caused me to spiral a few years back even leading me to try to back to dating a guy, which didn’t work out . and i think the main reason i never wanted to date guys was because of how sex centred they were , like if i ever wanted to just talk about life it would always turn into something else , could’ve just been the guys i did actually date but what can you say.

what makes me bring all of this up now is because of how much representation has grown over the years and how much i know 10 year old me would’ve appreciated this type of normality back in 2012. obviously, the world will never be truly supporting of lgbtq , that’s just how this world works and it sucks. and if you do relate to this, it’s okay to feel this way. it’s okay to wish you could fit it and wish you could be ‘normal’ and i never want someone to think that they shouldn’t be upset with who they are because sometimes you just need to be , but you are the way you are for a reason, whether that reason has come up yet. you will find someone , no matter the gender , race , sexuality , life path.

#lesbian #wlw love #wlw community #lgbt pride #queer community #wlw post #wlw blog #wlw #lgbtq community #lgbtq positivity #i love you

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binalakai · 8 months

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i also wish people would be more receptive to relationship speculation, at the very least. there were so many moments in fionna and cake where simon and fionna’s interactions had me raising my eyebrows and thinking “wow, what’s up with this chemistry rn?” but i know posting about it to see if others also noticed would get me dogpiled lol. glad i’m not the only one entertaining the ship and its implications to/for the characters it encompasses.

also winter king/simon is intriguing as well, if only in a weird homestuck self-shipping (dave and davesprite anyone?) kind of way where both characters get to have major epiphanies bc they’re basically looking into a mirror (may be more of a funhouse mirror for winter king/simon but still works lol)

i do not ship any of these pairings, please dont take this post from a shipping perspective

i apologize in advanced if this post is said messy. its given an opening to many things ive been thinking about since the start of the show and i know i wanna come back to it in case any new developments were to happen at the final season 1 episodes tldr; Kai Talks About how much i Love Very Messed Up Pairings, not because i want them to actually be together, but because i am NOT the type to ignore Seeds That Have been Planted in canon so i will Grow Horrible Realizations i've been having out of them

YEAH NO BECAUSE I LIKE. I JUST WANNA POINT OUT WHAT'S CANON OKAY!! i think this post is like. the only one ive seen that Has Pointed out The Adventure Time Ice King/Fionna dynamic in the lenses of the Simon we have today....and even then thats just a joke post :")

because like. okay. i need people to think about this for a second: yes, ice king didn't Come With with Fionna and Cake's existence, but why in the world would he Choose to be responsible for writing it? for bringing their stories to life and showing off a world that's been living in his head? i genuinely think people don't really like the ugly side of how badly loneliness has mutated Ice King's way of thinking (i mean for gods sake the guy tries to kiss/get with anyone, mf cant even recognize the person he claims to be falling in love with). that, yeah. of course if he had a World Living inside his brain that felt so Real to him that he CONSTANTLY wished for it to not only but true, but one that would be close to him!! one that would welcome him!!!! no matter what itd be, romantic, platonic, To the point of Worship....like ANYTHING that would bring him closer to genuine Connection in his alienating experience. NOTABLY for fionna The Human!!! the human that parallels a real life actual kid that mostly has kicked Ice King's ass to eventually treating him like a Poor confused Old Lost Guy. still, i need to stress the kind of dynamic finn and the ice king have is NOWHERE near the kind of dynamic fionna and ice king have (and even with simon developments included). . ...except this time around, even when he does have his own parallel Ice Queen existing manifesting the Must Needed Rival for their universe to make sense, mutating her character into something that to make her more Vicious/Violent, making Ice King seem Nicer In Comparison and dare i say that, yeah...! some of that HAS been carried onto modern day Fionna!! who CANONICALLY has romantic feelings towards ice prince and the winter king, parallels to ice king/simon himself! just. sorry but i NEED both Simon and Fionna to like. Read Those Stories. I Need them to revisit the VERY specific stories that Ice King felt the need to tell in the first place, his and other people in their lives' inclusions. it would not only reinforce Simon's Influence in the world Period, something that he found himself doubting on ...but also I NEEEEEEDDD to see that can of worms opened. i NEED for Fionna to see for herself the people SHE'S supposed to be representing. i NEED for her to see what kind of void she's been filling in Ice King/Simon's time of existence. i NEED for her to see how big the Obsession GOT, how badly Ice King needed that outlet of escapism (and how much Simon still returns to it in the present day)

^ this moment has been living in my brain ever since the announcement of the Fionna and Cake series that Fionna's fixation on the ice prince, her life, her..everything in general, is more or less a Weird Reflection of the lives of People living Greater Lives than she ever believed to have lived, combined with how said proclaimed experiences of Magic have only been recorded by a guy who Inserted Himself in a world she doesnt even recall living in Im surprised that. hasnt been so Stressed yet in show. im prepared to eat my words if they DO come back to it. but for the time being i really wish Fionna found out how desperate Simon/Ice King was for someone to acknowledge and Desire His Existence, to a degree that would be absolutely humiliating/weird to uncover but Necessary to come back to in order to truly understand the Scope of what 1000+ years of Madness through Ostracization (from others and eventually the Self) Does to a MF

__________ AS OF FOR MY THOUGHTS ON THE WINTER KING, he alas only truly an episode to explore. but the thoughts still exist nonetheless!!! for the most part i can only truly indulge in it out of pure hilarity for its existence, while acknowledging how much im so thankful that winter king was characterized as he was n didnt overstay his welcome, as i didnt find him necessary to stay in the narrative . there's a lot of feelings i have about simon/ice king's perception of himself alone, and how most of it is Either Negative or Overcompensation Due to his own self negativity. which makes me curious on what could come of a Better Version of Himself, looking at the version of himself that has "failed" to conquer the crown the way he has, but contemplated on pursuing romantically, even for a brief moment honestly, i dont blame people for being invested in this pairing (in comparison to fionna/simon, where i cannot myself entertain it even as a joke unlike this one). it makes me curious on what the Winter King's definition of romance is in comparison to Simon's. what could even be desirable, possibly, in the eye's of the Winter King? Does the love of someone you'll go mad over truly make you a Better Person Or Worse? Simon and Winter King existing in the same room together brings up so many questions and possible ways to explore Simon's character. wayyyyyyyyyy less of a "this can be simon's way of practicing self love" thing and MUCH more of a "These Guys Kissing each other would be the equivalent of the Narcissus Tale but with a Distorted Reflection that only Represents You because the reflection Demands That of you"

#fionna and cake #adventure time #long post #text heavy #simon petrikov #the winter king #fionna campbell #i WILL delete this though genuinely if people start to get weird in my notes #but otherwise i genuinely would be very welcome to more CIVIL. discussion about this

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olivyh · 2 years

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Hey so how do you think Azul Ashengrotto would deal with a crush who he’s known for a couple of months now, his crush isn’t the flirting type, but at some point, every now and then they throw a genuine compliment at him or a flirty line. “You’re voice is so pretty”, when he sings. Or like people keep barging into crushes room and on their birthday, he is like “I shall grant you one wish”. And crush is like “I don’t usually take your offers, but I think I need a way to keep everyone from barging into my room without knocking… ;) but you Can come in whenever you want though”. They don’t ever push him into things, but make harmless comments towards him. Trying to fluster him a bit, but also make him feel happy. If someone asks S/o to give their best flirting and compliments to somebody, acting, crush is like “Oi, I can’t do that unless I genuinely am feeling it. My flirting game just doesn’t exist especially if I don’t like the person”, crushes statement is proved true by other people saying they’ve seen how terrible Crush is at trying to flirt. Crushes flirting game is top notch with Azul though?

A/N: Welcome back!! Azul is such a fun character to write for (though it is a little difficult to place his personality accurately sometimes,,,,) and i love writing him getting all flustered and embarrassed!!!!

-Azul is very flustered

-Incredibly so, actually

-I mean, he'd lived his entire life believing that he was ugly, stupid and useless, despite having changed himself completely

-And now all of a sudden someone is telling him the opposite in earnest? Without trying to butter him up or get something from him? In... simple kindness?

-He doesn't know how to react

-So he doesn't

-Internally he's kicking his feet and giggling like a schoolgirl

-But he puts on his businessman persona and takes the compliments at face value, the walls he put around his heart acting strong against this new, unexpected competitor

-He understands flirting, he's been the recipient of it before (but, again, this was mostly just because someone wanted something out of him).

-But you... aren't like them. You're honest, and your attraction in him is clear.

-He also understands that you're not like this around others

-And, thus, he understands the implications of this- the puzzle pieces all coming together in one cohesive painting that makes his heart pound and his stomach twist

-But still... he can't bring himself to believe it

"Your eyes are very pretty, you know?" Azul takes a deep breath at your statement, eyes darting over to yours before quickly flicking back to his pen. You would guess that he wasn't even bothered by your statement, but you didn't miss the way he bit his lip and his eyebrows furrowed as his scribbling slowed down before stopping completely, leaving the office silent aside from the quiet chatter of the Lounge outside and the occasional clinking of glasses and dishware.

"Do you enjoy this?" He asks after a moment of silence, placing his pen down beside his documents and staring down blankly at the pages. The exhaustion in his eyes is obvious, as well as the desperation swimming in his eyes once he tilts his head up to look at you.

"What do you... mean?" You ask quietly.

"Is this a joke?" The boy asks quietly, almost heartbreakingly solemn compared to his normal tone. No signs of manipulation, no flowery words to hide his intent, no careful planning of each and every syllable that bounced off his tongue. "Are- are you toying with me?"

It was just him.

"Of course not," You sigh, taking a seat on his desk. You can see how his thin eyebrows twitch at the action, as you were no doubt sitting on some sort of paperwork or the like. You notice how he stares back at his desk, expression unreadable to you as he clenches and unclenches his gloved hands on the smooth mahogany, the leather gloves creaking with every movement.

"Truly?" Once more, he's quiet, uncertain- a reflection of the small, scared boy that was still hiding deep within him. The boy who longed to have a fairytale story, to mean so much to someone and to be loved unconditionally. You hesitantly reach over and grab his hand, rubbing your thumb over the warm leather. You notice how he tenses, the slight stutter in his breath before a flush crawls up his neck and rests upon his pale cheeks, staining the tips of his ears.

"I would never toy with you like that," You admit quietly. The flush grows, and his lips quirk up in a small smile that he tries desperately to shut down. He takes another breath before he rises and his sky blue eyes meet yours, glazed over with unshed, grateful tears.

He gulps, and he takes another breath, allowing the smile to stretch over his features as he shakily turns his hand over and holds yours within it.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst fanfic #twst headcannons #twst azul #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #azul x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #twst azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto

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ryuichirou · 4 months

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How do you imagine the Scott Pilgrim characters interacted with the twst characters?

Anon, this is such an interesting but complicated question, and I, as always, took it way too seriously lol Both TWST and Scott Pilgrim have so many iconic characters, but it would be impossible to talk about every possible combination. So you know what, I’ll go through the cast of Scott Pilgrim, since it’s a bit smaller… Although I did ended up missing a bunch of them anyway because I didn’t have anything to say or because I simply forgot about them lol

Also, while the image of the characters in my head is all over the place right now with 3 different versions of the story, I’m mainly thinking about the anime version.

Alright, sooo.

The easiest one to talk about is unsurprisingly Wallace lol We like to joke about him enjoying his time at the Mostro Lounge and being a regular customer there. He is loved by the staff and especially by the Tweels and Azul, because he pays well, knows a lot about cocktails, doesn’t bother anyone (he could’ve if he wanted to, but the place is chill, so he behaves even when he gets drunk… just don’t tell anyone that the Lounge has alcoholic beverages now lol). They love him so much that whenever he visits they prepare his favourite spot at the bar for him. They love him so much that they named a cocktail after him lol They also love to gossip- I mean, exchange information with him (there is a sketch on our ko-fi with Wallace at the Lounge…)

Wallace would also probably enjoy spending time with Lilia, I feel like these two are quite a dangerous mix. Are they going to tease someone together or flirt with each other aggressively and end up having sex for some reason? Both, but the order is unpredictable.

But ironically, when it comes to romance and stuff though, I feel like out of all the twst guys the one that’s closer to Wallace’s type is Trey. Trey is such a Jimmy it hurts.

Now, Scott… I look at him and my mind is blank, I feel like he would just be freaked out by everything that’s going on, because this whole thing is too harry-pottery and weird; I can’t really imagine him befriending someone or someone being interested enough in him to even hang out… but at the same time, I feel like Scott will end up fighting all the housewardens for whatever reason. He’ll have more luck with some of them (Riddle, Kalim who didn’t even want to fight) than with the others (Vil, for example), but ultimately everyone wouldn’t know why this fight is happening. Ramona certainly doesn’t know – she is too busy hanging out with the first years, asking them questions about this world. A part of me wants to say that someone would get a crush on her, but these boys are too gay for that…

Stephen would find himself in the light music club, being bullied by the club members (mostly Lilia). They tease him, they torture him by not telling if his music sucks or not… Playing with them is unusual, because his own band’s energy is quite different, but it’s fun overall. If only they didn’t bully him like that..!

Kim is at the light music club too, quietly wishing to disappear and not witness this clownery. But unfortunately for her, Kalim would try to talk to her and just wouldn’t shut up. He just feels like since she seems so quiet and upset (angry??), maybe he could cheer her up by talking about the drums and stuff. In general, he only makes it worse, but surprisingly talking to someone so genuinely good-natured would be a refreshing change.

Matthew is a theatre kid, so sticking him to the Pomefiore people sounds fair in theory (and he would’ve definitely have a delightful conversation about music theatre with either/both Rook and Vil), but I feel like Kalim would’ve invited him to hang out… which means that Matthew is Jamil’s problem now. At least Jamil expected him to be a problem, but he was actually much less obnoxious that Jamil expected him to be, so it was a nice “huh” moment.

Lucas… he is such a Savannaclaw bro, and yet for the most part I can picture him surrounded by the first years, especially Epel lol Oh how much Epel would love him. He would really want to learn some skateboard tricks, and Ace and Deuce too… But I don’t think Lucas is really interested in teaching them, he just flexes for the most part lol

Oh, Cater skateboards right?? That’s perfect, considering he would also try to hunt Lucas down to take a picture with him, but probably wouldn’t succeed for some reason: Cater isn’t really lucky. Floyd would also be around (because Azul sent him to stalk big celebrity that arrived at their school for some reason) but wouldn’t get all the hype. He would be very into the whole skateboarding thing though, he’ll absolutely try to steal Lucas’ board to try it himself. Which means they’re going to fight and Epel is going to watch in awe…

Todd and Envy would also be stalked by a) Cater (he really wants his damn picture); b) one of the tweels (it’s Jade this time). Cater wouldn’t succeed again, this poor guy, but Jade is just unnoticeable and quiet enough to hang around creepily and learn some info for Azul. He also would invite them to the lounge at some point.

I feel like the only company in the NRC that wouldn’t drive Envy insane would be Vil or Jamil, so anyone who isn’t completely obnoxious and is bitchy enough to complain about petty stuff with. And since Jamil is a bit more secretive about his pettiness, Vil probably works better. Showbiz sucks, and certain annoying people from their lives also suck, so…

Todd would have an absolute journey. He could start by hanging out with Envy and Vil, but then, despite loving him to death and all, Envy would politely ask Todd to please go hang around somewhere else for like 20 minutes. Maybe it’s because Vil wouldn’t be impressed with the vegan talk at all… if only Vil knew the science.

It’s honestly surprising just how difficult it is to think about what Todd could’ve done: Todd works in mysterious ways. He doesn’t casually flex as much as Lucas, but he still might end up having a fight with someone. And knowing Todd’s luck, he might do it with someone who is also good at teleportation, which means… Todd, please don’t be stupid, don’t fight Malleus—This is such a stupid combo but also?? Would Malleus be amused by this foolish man? He might be.

But then at some point he’ll also end up at Mostro Lounge and see Wallace… and Azul would have to think about whether he wants to kick them out (he would’ve if it was anyone other than Wallace) or offer them a nice private room at his dorm. Maybe Azul should consider this as some new business model? Because with these two it worked surprisingly well lol

(Todd would definitely miss the opportunity to show-off his bass-playing skills :( too bad, I would’ve watch him duel both Lilia and Jade)

Julie would fucking hate NRC but at the same time she would instantly figure out who the most important and influential people are in here. So, she’d skip Heartslabyul (after kind of befriending Cater for mutual beneficial reasons), skip Savanaclaw (they have a prince, but he isn’t motivated enough to be useful), befriend the Octa-trio (yay more gossip and bitchiness!), befriend Kalim and probably annoy Jamil by this ‘cause parties, she would try her best to befriend Vil, skip Ignihyde (great, more nerds and virgins) aaand she would really want to get closer to Malleus but couldn’t, but she would still manage to befriend Lilia somehow. This girls works the hardest.

Roxie has nothing to catch at the NRC but at the same time she hangs out with dumb boys with anger issues all the time so maybe this is actually quite natural to her lol but she would still hate it and complain about this stupid place having no girlies. She’ll definitely kick a lot of ass just out of frustration, but then somehow end up befriending someone very random like Jack for example. I guess she would consider him to be the least annoying, but even then it’s not much of a friendship, they just happened to be at the same place.

Or you know what? Get her to Diasomnia, let train with Sebek and Silver. She would be so annoyed with their dynamic, it would be priceless.

The twins would just go straight to Ignihyde and hang out with Ortho. They would really want to see Idia and discuss robo-mechanics with him, but Idia refuses to go out of his room because just hearing that “there are twins who want to see you” is too terrifying...

And Gideon and Azul are almost the same person, so it they would either join forces (while also planning to backstab each other at some point) or compete with each other openly. The first option works better I think lol And unfortunately, they’ll likely learn a lot from each other.

#replies #crossover

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late-to-the-magnus-archives · 9 months

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Two Eyes - a Magnus Archives fic

“Can I have a cigarette?”

No. No, this… couldn’t happen.

One moment of fear gripped me, memories of stories, and of the thing I’d seen in the Unknowing, shucking people out of their skin like corn. But I wasn’t the same; the world wasn’t the same. Even if this was happening, I was not some weak human anymore.

Part of the Magnus Monsterverse.

AO3

--------

Martin and I spent the rest of the day celebrating my new job and pretending we didn’t feel like there was a threat to the whole world possibly looming over our heads.

Was something going on? Absolutely. Did we have further means to figure it out right now? We did not! Did we need stress relief? Yes.

And… well. We hadn’t really gotten the chance to be… goofy together. Silly.

Dating.

Flirting. (As absolutely poor as mine was, he received it with grace.)

Eating each other’s ice cream, and… all those things.

Here we were, giggling over dropped whipped cream on a cafe table, leaning in, and being ridiculous.

I only saw him. I only wanted to see him.

He took my hand and brought it to his lips, smiling at me over my knuckles. “I’m dating a hot librarian, did you know?”

“Not a librarian,” I said. “Only a temporary worker. Shelver.”

“Bringing down hot librarian money ,” he said.

I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “Right. Flush.”

“Absolutely rich,” he murmured, absolutely not meaning money, looking at me through his lashes.

Oh, Martin…

I’m sure, statistically, I must have been happier in my life, but at that moment, I could not think of one such time.

“I have to admit it,” I murmured, my head on his shoulder. “Quiet London is nice.”

“Right?” said Martin, his head resting on mine. We sat on a bench in a park called Hadrian’s Folly. (Not the Roman general, but an architect born eight hundred years later, who’d tried to turn this park into a palace and discovered it to be all but swamp, sinking his creation. You could still tour the upper rooms.) “Honestly, it… it’s nice. When I need to be alone, I can be. Truly. Or at least, according to my five senses.”

I knew what he meant. It was quiet, but oh… I still knew. Knew every mind that passed, knew the fleeting hearts that beat with such concerns all around, knew the weight upon them to be silent and show nothing and stay calm.

I did not yet know why they felt those things. Which was curious. I’d have to push to learn more, and I didn’t want to do that. I exhaled. “I just wish we had more time like this.”

“Maybe we will. We don’t actually know what’s happening. What the danger is. If there is any.”

“I think the Gerrys are right,” I murmured. “And I think that… possibly not-evil Jonah was genuinely trying to warn me of something.”

“So let’s go eat Leitner and cut it off at the pass,” Martin said, mostly joking. He threaded his fingers between mine.

“Ha,” I said. “If he’s cagey enough to make Jonah Magnus nervous, he’s probably even worse than a pair of haunted eyeballs.”

Martin laughed and began naming other potentially haunted body parts.

We grew quite ribald, and had anyone come near, I suspect we would have embarrassed them.

But no one did. In Quiet London terms, we were loud, but we were also left alone.

That night, tucked into his too-small bed, we slept. Or really, Martin slept, and I lay awake, trying to ignore the next logical step staring me in the face.

I wanted to learn more without losing myself. I knew I hadn’t exhausted my fellow Eye-based resources yet. Not at all. However, I didn’t want to see him.

I didn’t want to! But there weren’t a lot of us Eye-type folk here, curiously enough. I wasn’t sure why that was, and the Eye wasn’t telling me (tonight’s topic was the history of Nesalogus netscheri , the world’s rarest breed of rabbit). I’d exhausted the Gerrys; I already knew that even if I visited the other two, they would basically say, We already talked about this? And then maybe go make out with Michael, or whatever.

But Jonah was new, I told myself. He wouldn’t know anything, I told myself. It would be a waste of time, I told myself.

The Eye wanted me to talk to him.

The Eye still wanted us to… get along.

I fidgeted. Rolled over. Flopped over Martin, spooning him from behind like some weird ocular backpack.

“You good?” he murmured.

“No,” I moaned. “It wants me to talk to Jonah.”

“You’re probably going to have to, anyway,” he said.

“He’s not asleep.” I knew . “He’s waiting for me.”

“What… now?” Martin half sat up and checked his phone. “Jon, it’s two in the morning.”

“I’m sorry,” I said pitiably.

He rolled over.

This bed really was too small for us. Even on our sides, we were face to face, or pressed up close; and neither of us wanted anything else. (Which amazed me, because shouldn’t he want space from me?) “Do you need to go, Jon?” he whispered.

“It’s not exactly visiting hours.”

“Sasha doesn’t sleep. She’ll let you in.”

“You’re awfully calm about this,” I said.

“I’ve been over there this late.”

He said it so casually, so… so throwaway. But I knew, suddenly, why. Panic attacks; feeling the world go vague; terror that he’d just… lose himself, and wander Quiet London in a state of emptiness, or an empty city, or maybe that he’d make it empty, and wouldn’t even know, and—

“Martin,” I breathed. “How… how long have you been here?”

His eyes tightened. “A while.”

“How long has all this been going on?”

“A while.”

“Martin…”

He touched my cheek. “You don’t know how long I waited. How long I had to wait. I gave up, Jon.”

Here we were, lovers, together in a way we’d wanted to be in the non-apocalyptic world, and never had the chance… and I hadn’t known this about him. “I’m so selfish,” I whispered. “I should have asked.”

“If I’d wanted to talk about it, I would have,” said Martin. “If you need to go see her tonight, go on. You’ll be fine.”

“Hunters?” I suggested.

“They’re rare,” he said. “And you’ll be careful.”

“And we’re currently suspecting Leitner and have probably got on somebody’s radar,” I said.

He kissed my forehead. “And you can stop them. Which nobody else is able to do.”

He really had changed.

I mean. I knew that. Of course he had. So had I. But he… he was so much quieter. Solemn. The nervous fidgeting was just… gone; his caution, too, seemed to be largely lost, in odd ways.

His focus on me was so very steady. Like I was the only light he could see. And I was missing something else. Something…

Forgive him , the Eye encouraged, but I had nothing to forgive. Martin had never wronged me. “You’re really encouraging me to go out in the middle of the night and see the younger version of a man I hated so much I ate .”

“Admit it,” he said. “You’ve done far weirder.”

I laughed. “I get it now. You’ve become the mad old wise man who lives in a cave.”

“Absolutely,” he said. “With a baking show. Also a blazing social life.”

“Blazing, you say.” Did I really have to leave?

“Absolutely hedonistic,” he said with a small smile, and kissed me.

We were busy for a little while. I no longer felt nearly as anxious, and that truly helped.

He exhaled slowly, forehead against mine. “I choose to believe you’re going to be fine. That you can handle whatever comes at you. That we will be fine.”

This sounded like a mantra. “I can get behind that.”

He looked at me again. “I waited so long. I don’t think I can do it again.”

“I love you,” I whispered. “I…” We weren’t each other’s… us. But we were. Weren’t we? “This is confusing,” I added.

“Yeah,” he said, not asking for clarification, and kissed me again.

“You sure I should go tonight?”

“Will you sleep if you don’t?”

I made a face. “Probably not.”

“You have to go sign paperwork and all of that tomorrow. Go see him. Might as well get it out of the way.”

“You really think this isn’t dangerous.”

“What I think,” said Martin, unblinking, “is that if I don’t choose to trust you now, and get all possessive and weird, I will be feeding the worst parts of myself. So I choose to trust you’ll be safe.”

He wasn’t okay, was he?

The Eye was silent; It didn’t know. This was Martin. It saw Martin. It didn’t analyze Martin. It saw him. Not helpful.

Maybe Martin had just… figured it out. Maybe he really was older and wiser, and I was worried over nothing.

He laughed suddenly. “Your face is a journey right now.”

“Caught me.” It didn’t matter if he wasn’t the one I’d known before. I knew I wanted him now. I knew I loved him now. At this point, I think we both would have known if we didn't fit. “All right. I’ll go.”

“I probably won’t sleep until you get back,” he said, watching me dress in the dark.

“Bribery,” I pronounced, and kissed him again. “I’ll be back.”

“Jokes aside.. If you do somehow run into trouble, please just run.”

I looked down at him, sprawled in his bed, watching me unblinking. “I will. I promise.”

He touched my hand, and I left.

Quiet London was, big shock, even quieter at night.

Not much was open. Lights kept things feeling safe, but there just… wasn’t anyone. No music. No late-night plays letting out. People were awake; I felt them—more pf them lived in London than had in my time, because here, somehow, rent prices had stayed within the grasp of the common man.

It wasn’t really a comforting quiet, though. There was something abjectly miserable about it, though I couldn’t say what. Anticipation? No; a sourness, familiar enough to leave me almost knowing what it was, and yet just altered so that I could not immediately put my finger on it.

I could know.

“Yes, Jon, let’s do that, risking losing myself on a public street, alone and without help. Brilliant,” I muttered.

“Can I have a cigarette?” someone said.

I froze.

To my right was an alley. A shape stood there, human, swaying almost hypnotically, rhythmically, over and over, left and right.

Had I stroked out? “What?”

“Can I have a cigarette?”

No. No, this… couldn’t happen.

“Can I have a cigarette?” said the shape, swaying.

“Listen,” I said, taking a step closer. “I may be new, but I damn well know you’re not supposed to be hunting on your own.”

It swayed, mesmeric. Echoes wafted around it, things I heard not with my ears—cries, screams, the loss of life thanks to this horrifying creation. It had been hunting for a very long time.

Oh, I was getting angry. “Last chance. I will react with prejudice.”

“Can I have a cigarette?” said the shape.

I opened all my eyes and saw .

The angler fish was no solid thing, no proper, unified construct, and it began to peel, shreds of skin and the barest shape of a person beneath cracking and dropping away. The horrifying blob beneath that shape shuddered as if in pain (but it felt none, because it was not real), slivering and melting and falling apart in globs of stolen fat until all was gone.

Behind it stood the puppetmaster.

How could I be surprised, and yet not surprised at all? How could I even have missed the fact that I had met only one Stranger here in our entire group? Stranger-survivors were even rarer than the Eye's, and we were opposites, opposed, enemies.

Especially this one. “Hello, Nikola,” I said.

“Archivist,” said Nikola, her borrowed voice box just as twistedly bright as her old one had been. “Funny meeting you here in the middle of the night! I suppose you want to have a little chat. It does seem your style.”

And she—

This wasn’t the Nikola who’d been locked up. I knew that. So how the hell was she here?

I knew something else, too, as I stared at her, as she stepped out into the light of the street lamps, her hideously malformed plastic smeared with blood and gore, her ringmaster’s uniform shredded and faded: she was old . Very old. Much older than the Nikola I’d known. Impossibly so. She was far, far older than the portal Manuela had made to get to this place.

It was so funny, not being afraid of her anymore. Absolutely bizarre. “How did you even get here?” I started.

“Are you going to turn me in, Archivist?” she said. “I suppose they might believe you, though I don’t think you could actually force me to go with you. A manhunt, I think! How fun! Well, they wouldn’t find me. Not like that other .”

“The other you,” I said.

“Oh, yes! She’s a copy, you know.”

She…

I almost understood that. She was Stranger, and… well, that was the whole thing, wasn’t it? None of them were real . So a copy of a copy may not make a difference to the rest of us, but it did to them, for some reason.

But hadn’t they gotten that Nikola in the usual way? Scooped out of another world? How could that one be a copy of this one? This one… who had been feeding on people for so many years .

She wasn’t building toward the Unknowing. This was just for her. Taking children, taking people, keeping them in an impossible grip of terror and confusion until their bodies simply gave out. Torturing them and enjoying the absolute nightmare she put them through as they screamed, louder than they had ever been in their entire lives.

She’d been doing it for so long. “How dare you hurt people,” I hissed. “You could’ve gone any other way, could’ve joined us, could’ve been helped , and instead, you’re doing this? How dare you!”

“Funny words from a funny man,” said Nikola, clacking her filthy hands at me (one with eight fingers, the other with three). “You feed all the time… do you feel guilty? Oh, I’m sure you do . I’m sure it just eats at you, makes you question everything. I don’t, little Archivist! Isn’t that lovely? You could join me, instead, and avoid their gaze. You could be free of the worst wickedness!”

What the hell was she talking about? “I’m… I… I do not feed all the time, and you are changing the subject,” I snapped, ignoring her accusations of guilt, because of course I felt that, we all felt that, how could we not?

“Funny, funny man,” said Nikola. “I must go rebuild my prop, though, so if you’re all done being scary …”

“I am not done being scary!” I blurted like an idiot. “I can’t leave you out here. Come with me, turn yourself in, or I swear to hell, I will destroy you.”

She stared at me, or I thought she did—whatever paint her face had once had was gone, burned away, leaving patches not quite in the right places for face, nose, eyes—and then, she laughed. Because of course she did.

“I mean it, Nikola.”

“I know ! That’s why it’s delightful. Do you think I’m going to… oh, what is that phrase? Come quietly?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “Do you have any sense of self-preservation?”

“You are far more confident than my last Archivist,” she said, and (predictably) revealed a morbid history. “Chomp, chomp! He was quite gamy. And he cried.”

Yes, yes, she’d killed me, whatever . She was covered in the blood of innocents here . Why was I even fooling around with this? “We are not far from Sasha’s. You’re coming. Or you’re dying. Now. ”

The Eye was eager for both. Either. Whichever one didn’t matter.

She sighed. “Oh, very well.”

She didn’t want to die. I had that to leverage over her. “Do you know where the hospital is? For our kind.”

“I do.” She sounded so bored.

“Lead the way. I am not taking my damned eyes off you.”

“As if you’d take them off me no matter where I walked,” she said, but began lurching up the street at speed.

“Nikola!” I snapped, and ran after her like an idiot. This was not what I’d promised Martin I would do. Oh, well! I was in it now, wasn’t I?

Sbe surged up the hill, her limbs moving slowly but covering great and terrible ground, and I knew I was going to lose her.

Idiot! I thought to myself, and taking out my phone, sent Sasha a message without taking my eyes off Nikola. Incoming Via Sacra going north passing Branzen’s pub right now Help Help

Right, that would tip her off, but the activity of running as fast as I could while watching Nikola and also looking at my phone was… dizzying.

Straining? No, not exactly, but this was splitting attention in a way I hadn’t done before. I was amazed I could, and sort of proud of myself, but also running out of mental space very damn quickly.

“Stop!” I called after her. “You’re making things worse!”

“I think not, Archivist!” Nikola called back at me from near the top of the hill. “I think the next meeting will be on my terms, don’t you?”

How dare she threaten me. How dare she threaten those I love, because if she was coming after me, then Martin was not safe—

Which was when Sasha hit her from the side like a wolf, or a truck, or a saber-toothed lion.

Hit her so hard that they both flew through the glass of a shop, and the sounds were nightmare—screeching and yowling, weird plastic torque and a howl that could have come from any damn thing, Stranger or Flesh alike.

No siren sang in response to that destruction, which in itself was bizarre, but I had no time to consider. I ran up, gasping, feeling the limitations of a body I did not understand at all, and found—

The Sasha-mass of flesh boiling and bubbling like smoke, battling some unspeakable thing in a shape I could almost identify, a creature I almost knew, which filled me with instinctive fear because, whatever it was, it was just a little wrong, and within it, Nikola wielded her disconnected limbs like clubs.

She hit, and the mountain of flesh that was Sasha bled, and though it did not seem to slow her down, it hurt .

She’d hurt her , hurt Sasha , and did it with joy.

I would not permit. “Stop!” I roared, command in my voice, a weird echo I couldn’t explain and felt vibrating through my entire form, and the word cast forth from me with physical effect and swept before me like a wave.

Pieces of glass and carnage whipped up as if in a gust of tornadic wind, violent and concentrated. Nikola recoiled from my cry as if I’d somehow smacked her with an enormous glove.

Sasha shuddered, her form not quite returning to familiar and beloved woman.

Nikola fixed her gaze on me, and I knew. We both knew. She hated me, on a level I couldn’t begin to comprehend, and I knew she’d decided this was it. I wouldn’t let her leave. She wouldn’t let me. She would die here, or I would.

She lunged.

Sasha tackled her from behind (neither of them had mass in the way understood, both a surging bulge of fear converging in will, affecting the physical world, but not of it), and slowed her enough for me to… react.

To…

Do something.

To fill with a thing I did not understand, to channel the helplessness and rage and other feelings I’d ignored and pushed down and denied, to feel the truth of what I spoke even as I spoke it, and I said these words with full knowledge of what they would do, and at the same time, absolute and puerile ignorance: “No.”

And with this word, I denied her.

Denied her right, denied her future. Denied her further chances to change her ways, to alter paths, to do anything other than shatter on the limit of my anger.

Nikola blew apart. Exploded. Slammed into me and the streetlights and the goods in this electronics shop and Sasha, and knocked me over and cracked the street and sent the fire hydrants shrieking water into the sky, and made the city shake and the earth sing and caught the attention of

Caught the

Caught the attention

Something looking at me, something seeing me , something I’d disrupted, something too big to understand that turned toward me at the speed of galaxies, and I—

Sasha stood over me, looking normal, though her hair was a mess and had bits of glass in it. “Jon?” she said softly. “Hey. Hey, there you are. Look at me, Jon. Come on.”

Oh. I was on the ground.

Still no sirens, but for this place, it was awfully noisy: there were voices, and the sound of water being pumped over crackling fire.

I hurt. So much. “What…”

“Martin’s on his way,” said Sasha softly. “Talk to me.”

“About what?” I said like an idiot.

“Maybe what just happened?” she suggested.

A debrief. She desperately needed one, not just for her own sake. Terrible things had happened here, and she needed to know I was innocent. “Saw her,” I managed. “Offered a cigarette. Like the… the… angler fish.”

“I remember the angler fish,” she said, soothing. “What happened?”

“Confronted. She ran. I texted you, tried to keep up.”

“And what happened then, Jon?” she said evenly. “What happened while we were fighting?”

Something absolutely terrifying that no one else in this world could do and I did not at all understand.

Fuck.

Lie?

I felt the lack of that ability right now. I couldn't lie, not seeing like this. I saw her, saw the fire, saw the people fighting the fire. Saw the reporters, saw the news, saw distant people lighting up as if touched with some current as they learned of the weird incident here.

I saw too much, and I couldn’t… I couldn’t turn it off . “I…”

“Just try,” she said softly.

Too many people. Too many emotions. Dreams and hopes and fears, lusts and disgusts and rages. Too many, flooding me, turning my tongue back into to eyes.

My own fears joined the world's. What would happen if I told her I didn’t know? Was I about to be locked up like the other Nikola? Would Sasha try to kill me? To help me? Was I going to lose my freedom? Would Manuela dissect me like a bug? I couldn’t make my tongue work.

“Let me help,” said Jonah Magnus, kneeling beside her. “He’s overwhelmed. Seeing too much. We called it inebrians cernentia—intoxicating visions.”

The children of parents who heard the news and feared some political rebellion and how it could affect their jobs and their lives, the police who suspected supernatural bullshit but had no way to verify or defend and had to pretend it wasn't weird, the—

She gave him a stern look. “Jonah, if you mess this up, you ruin all the progress you’ve made. You know that, don’t you?”

The conspiracy theorists who wondered if this was tied to Them, the foreign spies who parsed the official report of a gas leak and refrained from opinion until they knew more, the—

“Oh, of course,” said Jonah happily. “I would never harm him. You ought to know that.”

“Well, fine,” said Sasha. “Give it a try, then.”

Wait, what was happening?

Jonah smiled down at me, absolutely beatific; though clean-shaven, he’d kept his hair long enough to fall in those loose, golden curls. In a simple white t-shirt and jeans, he looked so damn normal . He’d catch a glance, perhaps, for being pretty, for being mildly cherubic in spite of a torso now revealed to be suspiciously wiry with muscle, but one would never know, looking at him, that he was one of the wickedest humans who had ever lived.

My own fear spiked.

“Oh, no, not that,” he said, his eyes widening. “No, no—don’t be afraid of me. Never of me. I adore you.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” I slurred.

“This will,” he promised, and—

We saw?

My vision, in my mind, briefly split, all those lives and people and homes, all those opinions and broadcasts and feelings, the murmur of conversations and spike of emotional concern, all of it split , came apart neatly as if the glue had failed, and…

Relief.

I made a small sound, feeling as though I swam up from the bottom of a well. Getting better, feeling lighter, less overwhelmed.

Feeling… more me.

I stared at him.

“That’s better, isn’t it?” he said softly, eyes lidded, unblinking.

BROTHERS , the Eye chirped at me wordlessly.

Dear lord, get me out of here. I tried to sit up and groaned; my side felt… really awful. Burning and sharp and terrible.

“Easy,” said Sasha. “You’ve been impaled.”

“I what?” I blurted, looking down. Oh. Oh, I… lay on some kind of rubble with rebar sticking out of it? Out of me? Right through my side? Oh, I… oh. “That’s not good,” I said in a high, weak voice.

“Shhh. You’re all right. You don’t even have organs , Jon.”

“It hurts!” I said, because it should hurt, shouldn’t it, because I’d done something awful , and I didn’t even know what, and it was frightening, and—

“It’s all right, Jon,” Jonah purred. “Breathe—not that you need to, of course, but psychologically, it helps. You’re all right.”

“But it hurts,” I said like a stupid child.

“So see it,” he said. “See yourself free of it. See it gone, dissolved, turned to something so sweetly organic it cannot hurt you or the environment. See yourself free, Jon, because you can. ”

What was—

Why—

Why did his words matter?

I was angry over it, offended, even as what he said came true, because I understood (in a vague way I doubted I’d be able to repeat with ease) what he was saying, and freed myself from the horrible thing in my side.

It melted into sugar, into water, into nothing that mattered at all. Some laser-like awareness I hadn’t even noticed eased. Relief. Like stepping into shade, after standing in hot sun.

But I couldn’t quite envision being healed. I couldn’t see this body, couldn’t see myself, and so could not see the hole in my side closing. Now, it just hurt. I cried out.

“Jon!” Martin cried, running toward us, and anyone in his way was moved aside as if some unseen wave carried them. He fell to his knees beside us, practically showing Sasha away, and pulled me into his arms.

It hurt. It really hurt. I tried not to cry out.

“He’s wounded, Martin,” said Sasha. “But I think he’ll be all right.”

“This is my fault,” said Martin, and pressed his face to my head. “Oh, gods. Jon. I’m so sorry. I did this.”

“You didn’t do this,” I mumbled, and clutched his shirt. My hands shook. “I did this. Broke my promise to run.”

“I’m fairly sure the weird thing I just fought did this?” said Sasha. “No blame here.”

“No,” purred Jonah, who was watching me, who had not blinked, whose gaze held a sweetness I could not ignore, and it made me want to cry and I didn’t even know why. “No blame.”

Martin did a double-take. “What the hell are you doing out?”

“Therapy!” said Jonah with a bright smile.

“I think I’m passing out,” I told Martin, because these things should be communicated.

“Fascinating,” murmured Jonah.

“Sasha,” said Martin evenly. “I need a reason, right now, not to fucking drown something.”

“Let’s talk about it at the clinic, all right?” she said cheerfully, and stood.

Martin stood as well, holding me.

I felt drugged. Sluggish. Safe, with him. “Love you.”

Martin’s eyes filled. “I love you. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

“This wasn’t you.” He needed to know. He shouldn’t feel guilty for this. “Broke my promise. I chased her.”

“I shouldn't have… what was I even thinking? What did I do?” he murmured. “Oh, gods. Jon, I’m so sorry.” Tears slid down his face now, dripping on to me, and his heart ached, pounded , and I could feel it, because I knew him.

No. No, I… I didn’t want him to feel this way. He shouldn’t be squashed with guilt, weighed down, his heart aching in his chest. Not my Martin. I couldn’t quite lift my hand to touch his face. “Not your fault.”

Sasha was talking to someone (police, I knew ), getting us out of here without having to make a report or anything, and they knew who she was, and she had power over them somehow (What? How?), and they were going to let her go, and I didn’t care.

Martin. Martin ached.

I couldn’t let Martin ache.

The Eye whispered, and I knew what to do. “All is forgiven, my love,” I whispered, too.

And the world

Changed.

The tiniest tremor, the shiver of reality shaking snow off its shoulders.

Jonah gasped.

“Oh,” said Martin, and stared at me. His eyes grew wide. “Oh,” he said again, more firmly, and frowned.

He looked toward Sasha, and I didn’t understand. It was not a good look. It was… angry.

Then he shook his head as though discarding whatever that had been, and looked back at me. “You’re going to be all right. I’m carrying you to her hospital.”

“All right.” As if I had any problems with this. The pain was terrible; but the relief…

Jonah had… shuttered it all, somehow. Done, really, what I’d hoped Gerry would do: he’d shared the load.

I hadn’t even realized how much I was carrying. “I’m going to sleep now,” I murmured, because Martin had me, and I was safe.

“Incredible,” Jonah whispered. “Beautiful.”

Then Martin began to describe some truly inventive ways for him to violate members of his own family, and I let myself drift to sleep.

#tma #tma fic #tma au #tma spoilers #magnus monsterverse #jonathan sims #nikola orsinov #jonah magnus #sasha james #martin blackwod #jmart #jonmartin #teaholding

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thedepthsoffandomminds · 7 months

Text

All paths lead here part eight

Master list

Three months, it had been three months. The battle.of Geonosis wore on for longer than you'd liked. It had taken much time, much fighting and much negotiation for little outcome. Though Geonosis was liberated it came with a cost. Too many lives lost.

You stand alone in your room. Now the fighting had ended, you had all been called back to Corisaunt. The apartment felt cold to you. A tear falls from your eye as you look at yourself in the mirror. The bathroom door slides open allowing Anakin to slip inside. He grips your shoulders and you lean back into him.

"I'm sorry Ani." You whisper the words. Too frightened to shatter the quiet of the room.

"The doctor said you are healthy. There is no medical reason this happened. The stress of the war." He stops and sighs.

"There is no reason why when the war is over and you feel ready that we can't try again."

You nod and lean into him.

"Are you cross with me?" You ask. Anakin's heart dropped.

"No, my love. I am sad for you, for us; but not angry at you. I put you in an impossible situation."

He holds you and you both cry over your loss. It had still been so early none of your friends were aware yet. The grief you shared would stay forever between the two of you.

"Y/n, I love you and I will never let anything like this happen to you again." Anakin's voice lowered, a hint of something that frightened you danced in his words.

Before you can reply to him there is a ding at the elevators.

"It's Obi-Wan and Ahsoka." Anakin announces, "I have to train her. I asked Obi to stay with you." He kisses the top of your head.

"Thank you." You whisper into his chest. He slips from the bathroom.

"Anakin, what has happened to the grief here." Obi-Wan asks the moment he sees his old Padawan.

"Y/n, she-" his mouth runs dry, "she was…" Obi-Wan put a comforting hand on Anakin's shoulder.

"I am sorry, Anakin."

The two share a knowing look. Anakin nods.

"She needs-"

"I'll stay here as long as she wants me to." The elder agrees. Anakin and Ahsoka leave.

"Lady y/l/n, can I come in?" He asked through the bathroom door. You nod before realising he could not see you.

"Ye-yes."

The door opens and you turn to look at him, his gentle eyes break you again and you begin to cry. Obi-Wan Pulls you into a hug, his warm body engulfing you as you cry. Like the comfort of father, the Jedi Master comforted your mind, relaxing your body. Once you've calmed somewhat he leads you out to the living room and the two of you sit on the sofa.

"I wish you had told me sooner." He admits.

"I've been frightened. I thought Sheev would take me away from you all. Maybe this was for the best." You fiddle with a tassel on your dress.

"You are part of our family, y/n." He pats your knee.

"Okay, enough sadness. I have to get ready for the Senate tomorrow. They want a full report and Padme needs my help with her speech." You say, shaking off the despair. Obi-Wan eyed you cautiously.

"You are allowed some time. Padme would understand."

"No, no one can know. Obi-Wan please, there would be too many questions." You grab his hand.

"Alright, but you need to take time, at least light duties. Your body has been through something traumatic, it needs time to heal." He squeezed your hand a little bit, "I'll make some tea and we'll work on the speech together."

Your smile, a genuine smile. Obi-Wan had become a rock for you. A father figure of sorts. In truth all three of them were now your family. At times you were sure he had seen the slight touches, the glances and the feelings that danced between you and Anakin. Though he never spoke on it, there would be knowing smiles and gentle tap on your hand.

He sat with you through the day, allowing you to dictate your words to him as he typed them on the datapad. Occasionally he would disappear to the kitchen and return with more tea, or food for you. He made jokes to make you laugh and when your eyes became sleepy he helped you into bed.

"When will Anakin be back?" You ask with your eyes half closed.

"Soon. Rest now. I shall stay till he returns." Obi-Wan stepped out of the bedroom, his mind racing with many thoughts. He situated himself in the living room, perching himself on the sofa. In quiet reflection he contemplated his next moves. For some time he had been repressing his own emotions. Hiding behind the Jedi code, but why? Thinking about the woman who had melted his heart he knew the answer. If she asked him, he would give it all up without a thought.

Was that blasphemous? He couldn't tell any more. With nothing left to do but wait, Obi-Wan allowed himself to relax into the sofa, his eyes closing.

Panic woke him, though it was not his own emotion. The room was in darkness and a blanket slipped from his lap as he stood.

"Anakin?" He called in a loud whisper. His Padawan shuffled from the bedroom, trousers sling low on his hips and a black robe over his shoulders.

"I felt…you're sweating, are you unwell?" Obi-Wan asked, moving across the room. Anakin blinked, his eyes meeting Obi-Wan's.

"I had a nightmare, that's all, I'm fine." He brushed him off walking toward the kitchen.

"Like your mother?" The question halted the younger Jedi, memories rushing back to him that he'd rather forget.

"This is the first one I've had since." He admits, not looking away from the glass of water he had poured but not drunk from.

"Tell me." Obi-Wan positioned himself resting back on the counter. Anakin sighed, dropping the water in the sink.

"It's y/n. I dreamed she died. Giving birth." His chest shook.

Obi-Wan felt his own heart breaking.

"Anakin, after this terrible….you have both been through a great heartache. It is normal to worry and our fears can manifest in our dreams. After this loss you just be so worried." He had closed the space between the two men, placing a hand on Anakin's shoulder.

"Did she tell you?" Anakin's voice was broken.

"No, it's not hard to see, for me at least. Don't fear, I will keep your secrets. I only wish you could have told me sooner."

The words were a bomb to a dam. Anakin fell into his Master's arms, finally allowing his feelings to pour out of his eyes. Obi-Wan held him.

"I'm sorry, I know this goes against the code. I was going to leave but then Geonosis and Ahsoka. I didn't want to disappoint you, Master."

"Anakin, no, you could never disappoint me. The heart is a muscle that fights hard for what it wants. You know I understand that."he held the younger man's shoulders to look him in the eyes.

"But you controlled yourself." The blue eyes glistened through the tears.

"I am a coward, Anakin. I let myself fall for Satinne, I laid with her then ran away. Seeing how brave you have been through all of this time has made me see that. Listen to me, no matter what happens, whatever you choose, you are my brother, Anakin and I will help you with anything."

Anakin took in a long breath, straying his emotions.

"Thank you, Master."

"Come now, back to bed, your wife needs your comfort." Obi-Wan guided Anakin back to the bedroom before returning to his place on the sofa. Only now noticing Ahsoka asleep on the opposite chair. It was strange, but this felt right, all of you under one roof. A family.

Tag list : @nyenye @tahliac11 @gr-rm @pureluna @harsimrit-k @stealthymouse @daniiileee @violyn20 @beenskating224 @blondiexx1 @liaphoenicia @thesummerelf @harsimrit-k

#anakin fanfic #star wars #obi wan kenobi #anakin x reader #anakin pov #fanfiction #anakin skywalker

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