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ashtrologys · 1 year

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Here is the Echo alphabet!! :))

It's a little late because I've been busy but its done now - It's SFW too

(If you think there are any spelling mistakes I will put a disclaimer here that I'm British lmao)

A is for Adventure: something they haven’t done but have always wanted to

Although Echo would much rather endlessly help out with the Resistance and save clones, one of his life goals had been to go swimming. Now he was more or less incapable due to his cybernetic parts, but it didn't stop him from imagining the feeling from time to time. The only time he did get close was slipping on the way back to the ship in escape of the crabs

B is for Butterflies: How they act when they’re nervous

Echo would be very withdrawn and quiet. It mostly stems from what happened on Skako Minor, and you'd found that he was a lot more nervous after that. But you'd find your ways around those nervous feelings and adapt to make sure when you're around him he doesn't have to feel so nervous and unsafe. You do your best to help his nervous habits

C is for Crush: what is it like when they have a crush? How do they know/act?

Awkward glances and stares across the room/ship. He can't admit his emotions properly due to the fear of you not liking him back, so he marvels at you from afar. When he is around you he gets clumsy and sheepish, which made it pretty easy for you to pinpoint he must like you

D is for Date: describe an ideal date for them

He'd prefer something a lot more quiet and something that felt more intimate. Probably a walk on Pabu beach due to the lack of people during the times the sunsets. It'd just be him and you, and he'd bring his own picnic too, although he forgets to put the sandwiches in a box, so when he opened the basket the sandwiches were mushed up

E is for Essential: what is one thing they could NEVER go without

More of a headcanon, but I'd like to think he has Fives' helmet stored somewhere where he can always see it and just think about all his brothers. He makes sure it's in the Marauder if they're on missions, and in their room back on Kamino (before it was destroyed)

F is for Favorite: a favorite anything- food, place, smell, book, etc.

He's grown keen of the smell around the Batch. It's a throwback to "The smell's getting worse' and he's just slowly gotten used to it like Hunter said. You wish you could say the same thing about yourself, you're still slowly adapting to him but Echo helps you out through it. Also convinced his favourite place would be Pabu, just so he can rest and escape the pressures of everything around him

G is for Giggle: how they laugh/what makes them laugh

He laughs at bad jokes. Its not an outright laugh, it's more of a soft chuckle he does occasionally when he finds something funny. Which is why you have a long list of terrible jokes you crack in terrible situations just to hear the chuckle. He can't help it. He'd laugh at something like: What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk

H is for Holding Hands: Do they like holding hands? Are their hands warm or cold? Pinky promises?

Mainly cold because of his cybernetic body, and you can only hold one hand. However you don't mind the cold, you always warm up his hand and make his day. He's taken aback whenever you come along and just scoop his hand up in yours, but he finds your touch comforting

I is for Inside Joke: something they do that everyone thinks is funny but they don’t understand

Echo. His name literally. Its funny to you when he repeats things and gets all confused when he wonders why you're laughing. Like the time he admitted he liked you: but then five minutes later came back saying it again, forgetting he had told you earlier on

J is for Jinx: Are they Superstitious?

Very superstitious. He's made it this far, with surviving the Citadel miraculously and saving all the other wacky and weird missions he'd been assigned whilst with the batch

K is for Kiss: how do they kiss?

Quick and soft. He doesn't want to waste your time and he's scared he'll overdo it if he drags it on longer. You don't think that, but you partake in the quick and soft kisses too just to make sure he feels comfortable. He would love to try and become more confident with longer one's though

L is for Love Languge: what is their love language? How do they give and how would they like to receive love?

Soft and compassionate compliments. He always comes up with different nicknames or adds a loving word at the very end of his sentences when addressing you. You think it's cute. You like to joke and be cute around him, and he loves that you do that. He's trying to get used to a more joky side of himself

M is for Meant to be: how/when they know someone is “the one”

I don't think he'll know for certain because he's worried he could be wrong, but if he thinks someone may stick in his life for a bit he's not too afraid to approach them and engage in conversation. He'd done the same thing with you, and he's overjoyed he did

N is for Nickname: a nickname they would have or their favorite thing to be called

Definitely not Killjoy - coming for Cid for that comment.

I think Echo would love to be called dear or love. Its basic but he loves the basics and traditions

O is for Organization: are they clean or messy?

I feel like he'd be much more clean, however he's messy sometimes too. He'll keep tabs on everyone and make sure they're doing their part and making sure they're doing their cleaning, but then he'll realise he's super behind on his own. Then the puppy eyes ensue as he begs you to help him with his cleaning and you just can't say no

P is for Pet Peeve: What’s something they absolutely CAN’T stand?

Not exactly a pet peeve, but he cannot handle the silence and there needs to be some sort of noise otherwise he'll feel like he's isolated at Skako Minor again. A lot of the times you have to softly talk to him to make sure he falls asleep, and then you can go to sleep too. It fills you with peace and mind that he'll sleep, and it also helps him sleep

Q is for Quiet: What do they do for peace of mind

He likes to talk about his brothers from Domino. He'll tell you stories about how Hevy slipped during training, how Droidbait got absolutely wrecked by the droids and so on. Talking gives him peace of mind. He just wants to let things go

R is for Rainy Day: Do they like rain? What about storms? How would they spend a rainy day?

He hates rain. Mainly because of the whole prosthetic thing but also because of the constant raining on Kamino. He couldn't remember it much though. On stormy days you'd find him and Omega snuggled together, him reading her a book or telling her about clone commands, reciting them from his head like he'd done with his brothers. When Omega would jump because of lightning or thunder Echo would be there to give her a slight squeeze as if to say he's there to protect her

S is for Soft: Describe their softest feature

His softest feature is his hand. Although it's cold, it's also really soft to the touch. You have no idea how he does it but that's why you love holding his hand so much

T is for Telephone: are they a talker or a texter? How often do they use their phone?

He uses comms a lot, so his main method of contact is talking. He's also just used to that because that's what they did during the clone wars. He avoids using the comm often, but most of the time when he does use it hes either warning everyone, or making sure you're safe

U is for Unique: a random quirk they have

Mentioned it before, but the way he repeats things. Its super cute and he's not aware of it unless someone complains. And it's how he got his name so it's very unique

V is for Valentine: Are they the type to celebrate or not?

He would celebrate, I just think you'd be the main initiator. He just needs a little push, because he's still pretty shy. You don't mind it though, you love to dee his confidence grow

W is for Wholesome: something extremely pure about them that makes you just *uwu*

His smile. He has the purest smile and it makes you smile, but also fills you with butterflies because of how soft it is. He doesn't smile much, but when he does you savour every moment

X is for Xenia: How they would entertain a guest/show hospitality

He'd very welcoming but on edge. If it were a stranger he'd watch from afar before approaching. The last thing he wants is to make friends and they turn out to be evil. When he does realise they're okay he ends up chatting with them non-stop about things, just random things

Y is for Youth: A fond childhood memory they have

Most likely a time when he was growing up with his brothers in Domino Squad. He doesn't have a specific one but he enjoyed most of the time with his squad

Z is for Zzz: Sleep habits. Do they cuddle in their sleep? Talk? What do they dream about?

When he sleeps he takes off his prosthetics before just to avoid hurting you. You're the main cuddler, and in the mornings you help him get them back on. He does try his best to cuddle with you. He has his fair share of nightmares caused by things such as the Citadel, but all you need to do is give him a reassuring cuddle and he's back to dreaming

#bad batch #disney #star wars #tbb echo #echo clone wars #the bad batch #bb echo #alphabet

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mj-spooks · 5 years

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and since i dont thin i asked a leverage anon today, How would Leverage Inc have tried to take down Wolfram and Hart before Angel took over? Would they do so after?

I think the key to taking down Wolfram and Hart is probably convincing them that Sophie is a powerful witch who needs their services. Eliot plays her bodyguard. Proving they’re who they say they are involves Sophie actually having to do a spell of some sort, which everyone but Nate is surprised she can do (she dabbled in her youth, obviously), and WR&H sending demons after them to see if Eliot can actually take them in a fight. A lot of WR&H’s resources aren’t digital, and if they are they aren’t housed on a network that can be hacked from the outside, due to the nature of their business, so Parker probably has to sneak Hardison inside to get access to everything. Cue wacky shenanigans when she gets bored and Touches Something. Nate generally spends the whole time pulling his hair out and wondering how and why he got tied up with literally evil lawyers and demons of all things.

I don’t think they would try to take it down after Angel took over, exactly. I more think that they probably got hired by someone who was screwed over by them pre-Angel. At first they notice hey, the people running this place now actually used to be like their arch enemies. There’s a bit of drama where they assume AI went fully over to the dark side, but Sophie and Eliot have a Gut Feeling after interacting with the AI members that there’s more to it than that. Some digging and awkward interactions reveal the truth. At that point, Leverage decides to Save Angel From Himself (Nate is projecting a little bit, especially considering Connor’s involvement with the whole mess), along with the rest of the crew. They manage to utterly destroy WR&H, the remaining members of which swear revenge. It becomes A Thing.

#leverage anon #leverage #angel the series #crossover #I would pay so much money for this to be a thing tbh

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arigatogatos · 5 years

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Making the Draenei Language - Part 2

Part 1 | Part 3

First off, thanks to all the people who’ve expressed interest in this project! It makes me super happy that people think what I’m doing is interesting :D

Anyway, last time I went through and got a basic idea of the structure of the language, this time we’re diving into WHAT 👏 THAT👏 MOUTH👏 DO (and also spelling)

... and by that I of course mean phonetics (the study of the sounds produced in speech), phonology (the study of which sounds differentiate meaning) and phonotactics (how sounds are put together).

Phonetics and Phonology

Before we can even consider choosing some sounds for the language lets take a moment to consider those TEEF!

Taking my main boy Aegagrus (drawn by the wonderful @rurukatt, definitely didn’t put this in here cuz I still love this pic) as a model for my headcanon of Draenei teeth, we can see how those might get in the way of some sounds... but just like, specifically [f] and [v] (sounds in square brackets represent sounds not the letters, to hear what they sound like go here!) Both of those sounds involve making the same shape with your mouth - touching your bottom lip to your top teeth, but when you got some real long or pointy teeth, that might be a little bit hard to do! (or an accident waiting to happen if they’re sharp enough)

There’s only a small problem with this though, we have some canon words that use these sounds e.g “Pheta vi acahaci” - Light give me strength. I’m gonna explain this away by saying that we’re dealing with an approximate transcription using the Latin alphabet and English spelling conventions, which definitely wasn't designed to write down languages outside of well.. ideally Latin. I mean there’s a reason why English spelling is the way it is and one of those reasons comes down to using an alphabet too small for the number of sounds in the language.

Tangent aside, this means those two sounds are probably something like [ɸ] (again click here to hear these) for f and [β~ʋ] for v. These are sounds similar to [f] and [v] but they don’t involve teeth touching lips, check, and they’re probably what human transcribers misheard as [f] and [v].

Going through the other transcriptions in the data and making some guesses as to what they could be, we end up with something like this:

and huh that seems familiar... wait a second!

Yeah that’s just Hebrew without voiced fricatives, affricates or the sound [j] (the ‘y’ sound in English), and a bonus rhotic. I mean that’s probably to be expected as Draenei are heavily coded to be Jewish (a good post on that), so it makes sense that the sounds are also similar. It’s a shame to have such quote-unquote normal sounds (the th sound [θ] in ”thin” and “ether” is only in 4% of the worlds languages!) but that’s what you get when English devs make a game for a western audience, you get... ~~the fantasy accent~~ a.k.a discount slavic/germanic accents.

By the way [r] is the ‘trilled’ or ‘rolled’ r and [ɾ] is a ‘tapped’ r like in Spanish "por favor”.

Also, as another side note, this sound [ʔ] - the glottal stop is present in English too but you probably don’t recognise that it’s there. It’s the ‘-’ break in between “uh-oh”, and its also present in some dialects of American and British English where the [t] in words like “bottle” (bo’el) and “water” (wa’er) are replaced with the glottal stop.

Anyway, onto vowels! And yet again we come back to the problems of English spellings. English has approximately... too many vowels. In my dialect of Australian Standard English there’s up to 20 different vowel sounds depending on how you count. I mean all things considered we've done pretty well with the 5 vowel symbols we've got but good luck trying to accurately represent all this:

(not to mention the diphthongs) with just a e i o u. Most languages only have ~5 vowels so that’s about what I’m looking for. Taking into consideration all the English wackiness in spelling, we end up with what I think are 7 vowels (the pronunciation examples are definitely not gonna be spot on due to regional differences, learn the IPA its good):

[i] - meat, me, three, e-mail

[ʊ] - (short though) good, should, wood

[ʊ:] - (same as above but long)

[e] - bed, head, red

[ɔ~o] - (somewhere between the vowels in) bought, bot (those of you with the cot-caught merger are having real fun now)

[ɐ] - (this one is really only in Australian English) but, strut, bud

[ɐ:] - (same as above but long) bard, palm, start, hard

The two vowels with long forms are the interesting ones. All throughout the canon text we see ‘aa’ and ‘uu’ popping up again and again in things like “Maraad”, “Sayaad”, “Enkaat”, “Vaard”, “Tuurem” and “Krokuun”. Now this could just be stylistic choices made by the dev team to make the language seem more ~exotic~ but I think that it is definitely a case of phonemic vowel length. That’s where distinctions in words are made by elongating a vowel - something Latin had. But it’s not to be confused with what English calls ‘long vowels’, which are really the leftovers from actual vowel length after everyone in 1500 decided to pronounce every vowel just... completely different for some reason. The Great Vowel Shift is an interesting read). Anyway, it makes these double letters make sense, and is way more interesting than random double vowels. It’s also interesting that it’s not perfectly symmetric either, not all the vowels have this distinction, which is cool and perfectly natural for languages to do!

What is weird is that [ɔ~o] doesn’t have this feature, because in our vowel system, it’s almost directly in the middle of our two long/short vowels so it would probably assimilate and end up doing the same thing! So, going off that I’m going to simulate the beginning of language evolution, where the [ɔ~o] sounds is in the process of diverging into [o:] (oar, caught, thought) when it’s followed by ‘r, t, d, k or g’ and [ɔ] (lot, pot) everywhere else.

So, now we have the sounds for our language, how are they used? (dw hardcore conlanging people, I’ve worked out the rest of the allomorphy rules for the consonants but this post is already loooong)

Phonotactics

Phonotactics is largely about how syllables are formed and what sounds are allowed where. In an effort to try and not make the language *too* similar to English I want these rules to differ from English. Luckily, that’d really easy to do because yet again, English is a statistically weird language!

Syllables are divided into 3 parts - The onset, The nucleus and the Coda. For simplicities sake this corresponds to the consonants before the vowel, the vowel, and the consonants after the vowel. English lets wayyyyy too many consonants on either side ending up with abominations like “strengths” having 3 sounds before the nucleus and 3 after, or crimes against god like “twelfths” with 4 sounds after the coda.

Draenei on the other hand seems to be at most (C)(L)V(C). The brackets mean a sound is optional, C’s being consonants, L being ‘liquids’ like [l] and [r] (and [ʋ]) and V of course being vowels. Now going through the data (plus some creative input) we end up with some rules as to what can go where...

but we’ll leave the details of that for the final documentation and head onto...

Spelling! Everyone’s favourite...

There have been countless forum posts about how to pronounce ‘Draenei’ and even between developers at different panels there doesn't seem to be a consensus. This is probably due to the inconsistent spellings used throughout the lexicon so far - draenei and auchenai rhyme (I think) but they’re spelt with different endings!

With the language I have a few main goals

- Make it match as closely as reasonable with canon and common interpretations - Have the spelling be consistent (same letters should always produce the same sound) - In line with the first one, keep as much of the spelling the same as possible - Make it as alien as possible within reason (sadly phonetics and phonology will not be the place to do that)

So coming to a word like “Draenei”, I have to break at least one thingon that list. Personally I want it to be pronounced [drɐ.naɪ] (druh-nai). So, to be consistent with the sounds from before it should be spelt ‘Dranai’ but that definitely won’t do, or I could keep the spelling and pronounce it literally [drɐ.e.ne.i] (druh-eh-ne-ey to give a rough guide for that), which is... equally bad.

The compromise I'm going with is keeping the spelling of Draenei but making the [aɪ] (ai) sound spelt ‘ei’ across the language. Meaning is gonna be Auchenei. Well, not really because there’s still a bunch of other spellings that need standardising.

the ‘ch’ in “Auchenei” is pronounced with a [k], so is the ‘c’ in “Dioniss aca”. Going through and standardising things like ‘ph’ -> ‘f’, ‘ch’ -> ‘k’ or ‘sh’ depending and rewriting vowels to match the phonology we end up with something that preserves most of the identity and look of the language but just makes more sense! Aukenei would then be the spelling I’m using in the lexicon, probably with a little note for the canon spelling.

So, from now on I'm going to be using the reformed spelling TM, which hopefully will mean anyone attempting to speak this language will have an easier time getting what I'm envisioning, cuz everything is now consistant.

That about does it for this post. Yet again if you made it all the way to the bottom, congratulations! Hopefully the next posts will be a bit more interesting (I’m so fucking pumped for how the culture will impact the grammar and vocabulary holy shit) but I gotta get this one out of the way.

Next time, we’ll be doing word-building - the morphology of the language, Thanks for reading!

#draenei #wow #World of Warcraft #lorecraft #headcanon #theorycrafting #language #conlang #linguistics #draenei language #not art

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preserving-ferretbrain · 5 years

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Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Chapters 1-12

by Dan H

Wednesday, 01 August 2007

Dan reviews the final Harry Potter book chapter by painful chapter.~

I really liked the first three Harry Potter books. They were brilliant, engaging, cleverly written, masterfully paced and - as AS Byatt put it - just scary enough. They were genuinely good children's fiction, of the kind that a grown up wouldn't feel too bad about reading in public. Then JKR got famous, and her editors stopped doing their job. And she got sucked into a nightmare whirlwind of publicity. And it went downhill from there. I hate Potter now. Genuinely, vehemently hate it. I hate it precisely because I used to love it, and it angers me no end that the books I enjoyed, about a boy wizard and his boarding-school adventures, have been swallowed by this "phenomenon."

The Harry Potter books aren't "books" any more. They're events. That's why people queue outside a bookshop at midnight to buy a copy, as if somehow starting to read a book an hour later than somebody else makes the reading experience different. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I have a burning desire to exorcise the spirit of Potter from my soul, and I intend to do it by writing a chapter-by-chapter review of the final instalment. There may be some delays while I fling the book across the room. So, without further ado... Chapter One: The Dark Lord Ascending In which Voldemort borrows Lucius Malfoy's wand. I should first take a quick moment to say that his book managed to piss me off before chapter one even started by having a quote from Aeschylus at the start. I mean for fuck's sake, what is this, a 1993 Vampire sourcebook? Anyway, chapter one is called The Dark Lord Ascending although it should more properly be called "The Dark Lord Sitting In A Dining Room And Being A Bit Mean To The Malfoys But Basically Doing Nothing." Fans of the series will of course be intimately familiar with scenes of Voldemort Doing Nothing. He's been at it for three books now. This chapter is particularly full of fine examples of the Dark Lord's sinister aptitude for inactivity. The action - or rather inaction - takes place in the pleasingly alliterative grounds of Malfoy Manor. Voldemort and his wacky minions discuss the progress of their sinister plan to take over the Wizarding World. They bicker about when Harry is going to be moved from his present location, and then they do a lot of exposition about how they are going to take over the Ministry of Magic. This is particularly heavy handed.

"It's a start," said Voldemort. "But Thicknesse is only one man. Scrimgeour must be surrounded by our people before I act. One failed attempt on the Minister's life will set me back a long way." "Yes, my Lord - that is true - but you know, as the head of the department of magical law enforcement, Thicknesse has regular contact not only with the Minister himself, but also with the heads of all the other Ministry departments. It will, I think, be easy now that we have such a high-ranking official under our control, to subjugate the others, and then we can all work together to bring Scrimgeour down."

Just in case you didn't catch that, they've got control of a man named Thicknesse, got that, Thicknesse, who is head of the department of magical law enforcement, and they are going to use him to get control over all the other ministers, and use that to take down Scrimgeour, and then take control of the ministry of magic. Remember in the first book, where the Philosopher's Stone was barely seen, seldom discussed, and it wasn't until the very end of the book that you actually found out why Lord Voldemort wanted it so badly? Remember how cool and exciting that was. Damn I miss that. While the Death Eaters bicker about whether their dastardly plan which they could have enacted at any time over the past three years is actually going to work or not, we are painfully aware that there is a figure, horribly suspended above the table in the centre of the room. Helpless and silent, we are forced to watch the black-hearted villains discuss their tedious-but-horrific plans, while this figure suffers above us. Imagine, then, how our horror is compounded when we discover that this innocent creature who the Dark Lord torments so casually is none other than ... ... Charity Burbage! You know. Charity Burbage. She taught Muggle Studies at Hogwarts. Remember Muggle Studies? I think Hermione takes it in her third year. Or something. So anyway, she dies. And this makes a Meaningful Statement About The Nature Of Death. Students of literary history will of course recall that up until 2000's Goblet of Fire, there had never been a death in any children's book ever written. The Death Eaters talk some more. They make Nazi salutes (seriously: "in silence, both raised their left arms in a kind of salute") and are racist about Muggles and Mudbloods. Chapter Two: In Memoriam In which Harry gets angry at a Daily Prophet article and shouts "Lies!" For chapter two, we are back following Harry Potter. I confidently predict that we shall never leave his side again. In chapter two, Harry cuts his finger on the mirror that Sirius gave him. Then he reads two articles about Albus Dumbledore. These give us more information than we could possibly want about the plot-dumping old coot. Tragically, it seems fated to be but the tip of a very large Dumbledore-shaped iceberg. And these articles are long. Like really, really long. It's basically like JK Rowling took her fifteen-year old notes about the character of Dumbledore, copy-pasted them into the text, and attributed them to a guy with a silly name. The purpose of this chapter, it seems, is to make us believe that there was more to Dumbledore than we ever expected. He had thought he knew Dumbledore quite well, but ever since reading this obituary he had been forced to recognise that he had barely known him at all. Never once had he imagined Dumbledore's childhood or youth; it was as though he had sprung into being as Harry had known him, venerable and silver-haired and old. Now I'm sorry, but that's just cheating. Dumbledore spends six books being a moderately entertaining but utterly generic White Haired Old Mentor Figure. Harry's belief that Dumbledore had "sprung into being ... venerable and silver-haired and old" is of course literally true. JK Rowling invented him to be a mentor to her protagonist, and at no point does he act like anything else. Dumbledore spends six books as a plot device. Asking us to suddenly see him as a real person is pathetic. She might as well have gone the whole hog and written "Suddenly, Harry realised that JK Rowling was a really brilliant writer, and all her characters were really complex and interesting." Harry packs his bags, and prepares to leave on his Epic Quest To Defeat Voldemort Using The Spells He Learned In His Second Year Duelling Class. Chapter Three: The Dursleys Departing In which the Dursleys Depart, and it's actually quite touching. This chapter, unlike the previous two chapters, is not a waste of good wood pulp. We see Harry being taken away from the Dursleys for the last time, and the Dursleys themselves being taken into hiding so that Voldemort cannot target them. This chapter actually contains something approaching a significant event, and even more rarely, some actual semblance of character development on behalf of the otherwise zero-dimensional Dursley family.

"I don't think you're a waste of space."

It's a touch of the old style. The Dursleys remain, to the end, a rather pathetic caricature of a middle class family (and really, is there any easier target in the world than the middle class suburbanite?) but Dudley's admission that he doesn't entirely hate Harry, and that Harry did in fact save his life, carries a genuine emotional weight. So the Dursleys depart in the company of two utterly forgettable Order of the Phoenix members, and we never hear from them again. From here on in we live forever in the magical world of Hogwarts, where fourteen year olds fight dragons, and Dark Lords are desperate to get teaching gigs. Chapter Four: The Seven Potters In which Harry's mail client goes down. After the Dursleys leave, the Order of the Phoenix show up, and explain that Potter can't escape by magic, because he's still underage, and the "Trace" which detects magic being performed around underage wizards would allow the Ministry to locate him instantly. So instead they decide to go by broomstick / Thestral / flying motorbike, with six "decoy" Potters, created using Polyjuice potion. It all goes a bit tits up. They run into a pack of thirty Death Eaters, who start flinging killing curses at them. Harry responds with the spells he learned in his second year duelling class, and manages to take out about half a dozen of the pursuing Death Eaters with Stupefy and Impedimentia charms, which they are clearly incapable of blocking. Note that since Harry is "still under the Trace," his use of underaged magic should have immediately notified the Ministry to his presence, allowing them to track him trivially. After all, that's why they couldn't just Apparate out of there in the first place. Right? So Harry and the rest of the Order fight the Death Eaters. During this battle, however, the Order of the Phoenix suffers a Terrible Loss.

"Hedwig - Hedwig -" But the owl lay motionless and pathetic as a toy on the floor of her cage. He could not take it in, and his terror for the others was paramount.

Leaving aside the fact that I've seen better writing on fanfiction.net (I mean really "He could not take it in and his terror for the others was paramount," what the fuck?), I think it's telling that so far the casualties of this most dark and terrible war are a teacher who we never actually saw in a previous book, and Harry's pet owl. But the whole thing is presented in this massively portentous way that says This Is A Significant Event. I'm sorry, but it's an owl. Not only is it an owl, but it's an owl whose sole function is to deliver Harry's post. So they fight the Death Eaters, and one of them gets his cowl knocked off to reveal that he is none other than ... ... ready for this? There's a lot of these big revelations coming up... ... he is none other than Stanley Shunpike! Stanley Shunpike ... the guy off Knight Bus? Yeah, I don't care either. Harry tries to disarm Stan with his trademark Expelliarmus curse, at which point Stan can identify him immediately. This is apparently significant, although since the Ministry is supposed to be able to tell the moment he performs underage magic of any sort anyway, I'm not sure why he's so shocked. Some thing go wrong, and Hagrid flying tackles a Death Eater and gets all badly hurt and stuff. The next chapter is called "Fallen Warrior." But don't worry, Hagrid doesn't die. Because people only die if it won't get in the way of the plot. I wish I'd had JK Rowling to explain death to me when I was a child. Chapter Five: Fallen Warrior In which JK Rowling talks to us about the nature of death. Hagrid doesn't die. He and Harry are taken in by Mr and Mrs Tonks, Harry's tooth (which got knocked out in the previous chapter) is regrown by magic. Harry and Hagrid travel by Portkey to the Burrow. Everybody else shows up one at a time, taking much longer than they needed to. Lupin gives Harry a stern talking to about not trying to disarm his enemies. You see, the Death Eaters don't understand the idea of disarming your opponent. They're far too evil to consider the advantages of being armed when your opponent isn't. Or something.

"Of course not," said Lupin, "but the Death Eaters - frankly most people! - would have expected you to attack back! Expelliarmus is a useful spell, Harry, but the Death Eaters seem to think it is your signature move, and I urge you not to let it become so!"

Essentially this little speech, like the bit about Dumbledore in chapter two, reads a lot like JK Rowling trying to pretend that her weaknesses as a writer are really deliberate character traits. The fact that Harry always uses Expelliarmus in a fight is a limitation of miss Rowling's imagination, her idea of non-evil things to do in a fight is strictly limited. Trying to claim that this is somehow saying something profound about Harry's naivete or his merciful nature is hogwash. Most everybody makes it back in one piece. George (of Fred and George) loses an ear, which apparently can't be cured because it's "Dark Magic". And Mad-Eye-Moody dies. Now, I kinda liked Mad-Eye, but the character I actually liked was Mad-Eye as played by Barty Crouch under the influence of Polyjuice potion. Now admittedly, that character is pretty much identical to the "real" Mad-Eye, but that's rather strong testimony to how poorly developed he actually was. This would all be fair enough, but JK then insists on making it very clear to us that there is Death happening and that Death is a very important part of the book, because it's important that children be told about Death. So we get glorious lines like:

Harry could not quite believe it. Mad-Eye dead; it could not be ... Mad-Eye, so tough, so brave, the consummate survivor ...

And...

Nobody seemed to know what to do. Tonks was crying silently into a hand-kerchief: she had been close to Mad-Eye, Harry knew, his favourite and his protegee at the Ministry of Magic.

And of course the execrable:

The suddenness and completeness of death was with them like a presence.

The first two are just the old show-don't tell problem, which JK never really got over. She's never really worked out how to convey something to her audience without just telling it to them directly. The last line, though, is just completely fucking amateurish. It's up there with "From my point of view, the Jedi are evil." Leaving aside the fact that, yet again, she's attempting to convey the information that the people in the room have been struck by the suddenness and completeness of death by saying "the suddenness and completeness of death was with them" she also seems to think that "was with them like a presence" is anything other than nonsense. I mean, how can something be with you without being like a presence? It's a completely empty simile. It's functionally equivalent to saying "the suddenness and completeness of death was with them like a thing" or "the suddenness and completeness of death was with them like a thing that was with them." I really hate this book. Chapter Six: The Ghoul In Pyjamas In which we get a plot dump about Horcruxes. In chapter six we have a refreshing change of pace. And by "refreshing" I mean "frustrating" and by "change of pace" I mean "slow to a painful crawl as we watch Harry and co sit around doing nothing for several days." So Bill and Fleur are getting married. We spend an inordinate amount of time talking about this. Mrs Weasley is entirely preoccupied with it. Presumably because she's a woman and therefore doesn't understand important things like war, death, and her son losing an ear. In chapter six, Harry Ron and Hermione explain to each other in great detail the plans they have made for their upcoming battle against Voldemort. So we learn how Hermione mind-raped her parents in order to keep them safe (she cries about this for four seconds, Harry and Ron do not comment). We learn how Ron has dressed up the Weasleys' pet Ghoul in an unconvincing red wig, so that nobody will suspect that he's really out to kill Voldemort. The thing that bugs me about this chapter is that it tries to provide answers to questions which I wouldn't have thought were important until JK drew attention to them. If the book had just been about Messers Potter, Weasley and Granger hunting some Dark Lord ass, I'd be totally onside. Putting this chapter in to "explain" why Voldemort doesn't just capture the Weasleys and torture the hell out of them just highlights how ludicrous it is that he doesn't. Hell, once he's taken over the Ministry of Magic, he could very easily haul in everybody Potter has ever cared about, and start hacking bits off of them until Harry gives himself up. But he doesn't. Because Ron has cunningly disguised a Ghoul as "Ron With a horrible disease and a completely different face". So they'll leave the Weasleys alone. They're considerate, those Death Eaters. The other thing we find out is that Hermione has a copy of Secrets of the Darkest Art, otherwise known as the Big Book of Horcruxes. She proceeds to explain in excruciating detail exactly how Horcruxes work. Because lord knows we wouldn't want anybody reading the book to draw their own conclusions about that sort of thing. That would imply that reading a work of fiction was something other than the process of learning facts about the author's world. We can't have that now can we. Similarly, we get things like:

"I wonder when Dumbledore removed it from the library ... if he didn't do it until he was headmaster, I bet Voldemort got all the instruction he needed from here." "Why did he have to ask Slughorn how to make a Horcrux then, if he'd already read that?" asked Ron. "He only approached Slughorn to find out what would happen if you split your soul into seven," said Harry.

Which, let's face it, reads like the Q&A section from JKR's official website. This isn't Harry talking to Ron, this is Rowling talking to her readers. At least, to the sorts of readers who ask that sort of question. The chapter ends with no progress having been made towards finding any of the Horcruxes. Chapter Seven: The Will of Albus Dumbledore In which Ginny kisses Harry Like She Has Never Kissed Him Before Chapter seven is a mystery dump. Harry wakes up shouting "Grigorovitch!" and we are left to wonder what this mysterious name means. It's Harry's birthday. Ron gets him a book about pulling chicks. Ginny kisses him as she has never kissed him before. The Minister for Magic shows up and tells Harry, Ron and Hermione that they have all been left stuff in Dumbledore's will. Then he makes an inept attempt to grill them for information. In Dumbledore's Will, Ron is left the Deluminator (the thing Dumbledore uses at the start of the first book to put out the lights in Privet Drive), Hermione is left a book of fairy tales, and Harry is left the Snitch from his first ever game of Quidditch. And the Sword of Godric Gryffindor, but he's not given that. We are then told that all of these gifts are Very Very Mysterious but that Dumbledore Must Have Had A Plan and therefore it is Important To Work Out What Each Of The Gifts Means. Once again, nothing happens. Ron tells Harry to keep his filthy vacillating hands out of his sister's long, sweet-smelling hair. Team Potter wonders why Dumbledore left them the bunch of crap he left them. And of course they wonder why the irritating old coot didn't tell them what was going on while he was still alive, or give Harry the Sword of Godric Gryffindor when he still had the chance.

"And why couldn't he have just told me?" Harry said quietly. "It was there, it was right there on the wall of his office during all our talks last year! If he wanted me to have it, why didn't he give it to me then?"

Going by previous form, the answer to this all important question about Dumbledore's already spurious motivation probably has something to do with love. Everybody gets ready for the wedding. Because a wedding is exactly what you should be thinking about when a Nazi wizard with no nose is taking over the world. Chapter Eight: The Wedding In which Voldemort takes over the world while Harry is at a wedding. One of the Weasleys marries one of the characters with a stupid accent. Harry is Polyjuiced into a red-headed stepchild so that he can hide amongst the guests. Harry then has to babysit an offensive aunt of the Weasley clan, who says horrible things about everybody. Harry, being a man who has his priorities sorted out, decides that the best use of his time, seeing as how he's destined to destroy the Dark Lord and everything, is to get really obsessive about Dumbledore's family history. To be fair to the kid, it's not like he was going to be able to get anything done at the wedding anyway. So we learn more tedious crap about how Dumbledore's mother was like evil or something, and he had a sister who was a squib. We also learn ... ... get ready for another big revelation ... ... this one's really big ... ... no seriously ... we also learn that the Dumbledores used to live in Godric's Hollow! Doesn't that shed a whole new light on the other books? Can't you just see it all now, how Dumbledore's every glance, every gesture was just screaming "Harry! My family once lived in the same general location as your family!" Truly, we are in the presence of a master storyteller. We also find out that Grigorovitch was a wandmaker, that Voldemort is still evil, and that Voldemort has killed the Minister of Magic and taken control of the Wizarding government.

The Ministry has fallen. Scrimgeour is dead. They are coming.

Okay, I get it. It's punchy. But for the love of all that is holy, we're a hundred and thirty-three pages in, the Death Eaters have finally done something interesting, and we miss it because we're stuck following Harry, who is stuck at a wedding and angsting about his old headmaster. Chapter Nine: A Place To Hide In which Team Potter sits around doing nothing. Potter and his pals flee the wedding and hide out in a greasy spoon cafe, where they are set upon by Dolohov and Thorfin Rowle. Presumably these names mean something to somebody - perhaps to people who have religiously followed JK Rowling's "Wizard of the Month" updates on her website. These two Death Eaters fail to capture the Potterites, which should come as no surprise to anybody. They decide to modify the memories of these two men, in order to cover their escape. Because lord knows a couple of mindless zombies won't attract attention.

"But I've never done a memory charm." "Nor have I," said Hermione, "but I know the theory."

By "but I know the theory" she of course means "I mind-raped my parents into thinking they were completely different people who wanted to move to Australia, and by the way I told you fuckers that - like - two chapters ago and you didn't offer me any support or sympathy." They decide they need somewhere safe, and they decide to go to Grimmauld Place, which is apparently safe because the late, lamented Mad-Eye had set up "protections" there, so that Snape couldn't get in and kill them all (remember that, although JK Rowling told us categorically that Snape was a good guy, we're supposed to ignore this information and keep acting like we think he's a villain). These "protections" turn out to be a tongue-tying curse that lasts for eight seconds (and can't Snape cast spells silently anyway?) and a Spooky Dumbledore Ghost, which goes away once you tell it you aren't Snape. This chapter is mercifully short. Chapter Ten: Kreacher's Tale In which we are told firmly that Sirius black was NOT GAY. Harry pokes around Grimmauld place, finding Sirius' old collection of bikini model posters, photograph of himself at the age of one, and a letter from Lily Potter which basically reads: "Dear Sirius, I'm really glad we aren't going get horribly killed in the next six months. Baby Harry is wonderful and I love him very much. So much that I'll make him immune to dark magic by the sheer loving power of my loving loving love. Love Lily." And of course, the letter ends on this note:

Bathilda drops in most days, she's a fascinating old thing with the most amazing stories about Dumbledore, I'm not sure he'd be pleased if he knew! I don't know how much to believe, actually, because it seems incredible that Dumbledore...

The rest of the letter is missing. You fucking hack, JK Rowling. Look, I get it. You've got a bunch of Dumbledore backplot you want to give us. You've told us that. Just give us the plot dump, or don't give us the plot dump. I don't care at this stage. Nothing's going to be as cool as "he was Ron from the future" anyway. Next to Sirius' room is the bedroom of ... ... wait for it ... ... Sirius's brother: Regulus Arcturus Black. It's a good thing that he put his middle name on his door really. And a good thing that no two people in the entire Wizarding world have the same initials. So they've found RAB, but no magic locket of Horcruxness. They ransack the house, then realise that Mundungus probably nicked off with it. Bastard. So they go to Kreacher, and he gives them a bit of backstory which, unusually is genuinely touching. It turns out that crotchety old Kreacher was given to Lord Voldemort by Regulus, and Voldemort used him to "test" the defences around his locket Horcrux, making Kreacher drink the poison so that he could hide the artefact underneath it. Curiously, this led the Dark Lord to believe that his defences were completely secure, instead of the more sensible opinion that his defences could be breached by anybody with access to a tractable house-elf. Anyway, Kreacher was all wrecked by this, and when Regulus found out he turned against Voldemort (possibly the genocide was giving him the willies as well). He got Kreacher to take him back to the cave, drank the poison himself, and gave Kreacher the Horcrux with instructions that he should destroy it. Which is actually kind of sweet, and I'm damned certain Harry and co would never dream of sacrificing themselves for a house-elf. So they decide to be nice to Kreacher, and this gets him onside. They then send Kreacher looking for Mundugus, so they can get the Horcrux back off him. Chapter Eleven: The Bribe In which Harry Potter bravely lets a house-elf do his job for him. Harry Potter, realising that in order to defeat Voldemort he must use the Dark Lord's own methods, however despicable they might be, spends this chapter sitting on his arse doing nothing. Not that Voldemort has anything to fear: he's had decades to practice his sitting-on-his-arse-doing-nothing, and Harry's arse-sitting seems amateurish by comparison. So anyway. Harry sends Kreacher to get Mundungus back, so he can ask for the Horcrux. While he is sitting around waiting, Remus Lupin shows up and acts like an asshole. He informs Harry that Tonks is now pregnant, and therefore he has decided to join Harry on his quest, because werewolves shouldn't be allowed near small children or something. We also find out that Voldemort and his minions have continued their cunning plan to imitate the Nazis and have started making Muggle-Borns "register", and presumably wear little yellow stars as well, because in case you hadn't noticed the Death Eaters are a little bit like the Nazis and Voldemort's desire to wipe out the Muggle-Borns is a little bit like the Holocaust. Clever that, isn't it. Kudos to you JK Rowling. It's about time somebody took a stand against genocide. Anyway, I digress. Remus shows up and acts like an asshole. Harry acts like an asshole back, and they get into this huge "who can be the biggest asshole" competition. This shows us that Harry has "grown up" over the course of the books. We know this because he is now acting like a forty year old novelist thinks a teenager would act, rather than actually displaying any form of personality or motivation. Remus leaves to go back to his "wife and child", but not before giving us another one of the by now familiar "this is why this book totally makes sense and doesn't suck" speeches. When asked (very sensibly) why Voldemort doesn't just come into the open now that he's - y'know - taken over the goddamned world already, Lupin insists that:

"Voldemort is playing a very clever game. Declaring himself might have provoked open rebellion: remaining masked has crafted confusion, uncertainty and fear."

Once again, JK drops the "show, don't tell" ball, by having somebody inform us that Voldemort is being clever, when in fact all he's doing is letting Harry slip through his fingers by pulling his punches when he should be rounding people up by the truckload. I mean what, precisely, does Voldemort have to fear from open rebellion? And if he wants to create confusion uncertainty and fear, then I'm sure a couple of senseless massacres could do the same job with fewer administrative overheads. Eventually Kreacher, who is the only person around here still doing his job right, brings Mundungus back, and he reveals that he gave the amulet to Dolores "Wasn't I Killed by Centaurs Already?" Umbridge as a bribe. So Harry is off to the Ministry of magic. Chapter Twelve: Magic is Might In which we get yet another Polyjuice sequence. One thing I'll say for JK Rowling: you've got to respect her plot devices. While nothing will ever top the Room of Requirement for sheer brass-bollocked "yeah, this thing does whatever the hell I need it to" style, Polyjuice potion pulls its weight and then some. So Harry, Ron and Hermione polyjuice themselves into Ministry employees and walk right in through the front door. This reminds us, as if we didn't know already, that the Ministry is run by morons who, despite Polyjuice potion being common enough that an above-average twelve year old can whip up a batch, haven't thought to take any precautions against their members being waylaid and replaced by rebellious seventeen year olds. Perhaps Voldemort couldn't increase security too much on account of his not wanting to "provoke open rebellion." He's just too damned clever for his own good, that Lord Voldemort. This chapter is almost Tolkeinesque in its irrelevance. It essentially chronicles, in painstaking detail, the way in which Team Potter knock out some Ministry officials, polyjuice into them, and walk into the ministry. On their way in they hear terrible things about Mudbloods and Blood-Traitors being put on trial. For a Dark Lord, Voldemort is clearly very concerned about due process. The chapter takes its name from an irrelevant but kinda cool piece of window-dressing. The phrase "Magic is Might" is engraved onto the base of the new (black) statue which has replaced the old frolicking magical creatures motif.

Harry looked more closely and realised that what he had thought were decoratively carved thrones were actually mounds of carved humans: hundreds and hundreds of naked bodies, men, women and children, all with rather stupid, ugly faces, twisted and pressed together to support the weight of the handsomely robed wizards.

Now that's some serious Dark Lord style. But you'd think with his overall agenda of world conquest and crushing the Muggles and the Muggle-born beneath his pallid iron-shod heel, he'd be less concerned about hiding in the shadows. Oh, also in this chapter we find out some more shit about Dumbledore or something. And Snape has been made headmaster of Hogwarts. And Voldemort is still looking for this wand-maker guy. Next: The return of Dolores Umbridge, and more pointless backplot.

Themes: J.K. Rowling, Books, Young Adult / Children

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Comments (go to latest)

http://pozorvlak.livejournal.com/ at 20:39 on 2009-02-08

That, my friend, was awesome. You had at least twice as many quotable lines in that piece as JKR managed throughout the entire book.

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Rami at 06:53 on 2009-02-09

Welcome to Dan's Fans -- meetings are every Saturday at 11... ;-)

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Arthur B at 09:16 on 2009-02-09

You realise, of course, that there's only one way this can end: sooner or later someone, somewhere, is going to write Harry Potter fanfic where Dan is a character. (He could teach all the kids physics and he could be in a big snark feud with Snape and Snape will challenge him to a duel and Harry will be all GO DAN SHOW THAT MEANY WHO'S BOSS and Hermione will be all OH WOW PHYSICS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN MAGIC I AM TOTALLY A SCIENCE NERD NOW and Ron is all MAN IF I WERE GROWN UP I WOULD TOTALLY SMOOCH DAN RIGHT NOW and Dumbledore is all MAN IF EVERYONE I KISSED DIDN'T TURN INTO HITLER I WOULD TOTALLY SMOOCH DAN RIGHT NOW and Dan beats Snape in duel with science and Snape is all I WAS WRONG TO SAY SCIENCE IS LAME YOU SHOULD STAY HERE AT HOGWARTS AND TEACH US ALL THE WAY OF THE MUGGLES and Dan is all like NO WAY THE KIDS OF ALL NATIONS NEED ME and he turns around and punches Voldemort in the jaw so hard his head comes off and then he takes off and flies away to the Moooooooooooooon....)

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Wardog at 10:54 on 2009-02-09

But Dan doesn't have long dark hair, skin like freshly poured cream and violet eyes....

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Arthur B at 11:03 on 2009-02-09

Aaaand there's my cue to post a link to the Sparklypoo comic.

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https://me.yahoo.com/a/tjLTVHEducFb4rKDHU5DukBHtQcCbTVMEEq55v0CxV4-#5e156 at 19:43 on 2009-07-29

Brilliant, absolutely hilarious, I want to show the rest of the Harry Potter fanbase your review. I wonder if my inertia could ever be on a par with Voldemort's. "My inertia is with me like something that is with me."

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http://lunabell14.myopenid.com/ at 22:50 on 2010-07-27

I wonder if cutting out all of that unnecessary Dumbledore backstory would've helped the pacing, or at least cut down some of the reading. Seriously, even when it was first introduced, I couldn't help but think "Why are you telling us about this? How will this help with Harry's quest, at all?" And every time it was brought up, it just continued to irritate me. I honestly don't understand why her editors didn't insist she cut it out.

#Ferretbrain #Harry Potter #J.K. Rowling #Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows #Dan H

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dedalvs · 6 years

Text

Introduction to the Gandal Language, Part I

The Gandal language is spoken by the human characters in Arena of Valor. It is directly descended from the Veda language, but has undergone a number of sound changes and grammatical changes over the centuries. I had a lot of fun with this one, because the language was basically supposed to sound like English, or as close as I could get it. When the voice actors were asking how they should change their accent to pronounce it, I said don’t. It was awesome.

Here’s an overview of the language—one of the two I got to name (Gandal means “The Impure Language”):

PHONOLOGY

The sound system of Gandal is quite a bit different from Veda’s. Here’s how it looks (and yes, that is the American English [ɹ] in there):

STOPS: p/b, t/d, k/g

AFFRICATES: tʃ (=ch)/dʒ (=j)

FRICATIVES: f/v, θ (=th)/dh (=dh), s/z, ʃ (=sh)/ʒ (=zh), h

NASALS: m, n, ɲ (=ny), ŋ (=ng)

APPROXIMANTS: w, j (=y), l, ɹ (=r)

The vowels are always extremely difficult for me, because I have to take the spelling into account (i.e. when using the orthography; the romanization is simple). Here they are:

HIGH: i, u

MID: e (=ei), ɛ (=e), ǝ (=a), o

LOW: æ, ɑ (=a)

And now there are two pure diphthongs [ai] (=ay) and [au] (=aw).

Stress is on the first heavy syllable from the left, where heavy can meaning ending in a consonant, or containing a diphthong (and that’s historical diphthongs which may no longer be actual diphthongs anymore—ditto for old geminates). Generally compounding or derivation doesn’t affect stress placement.

SOUND CHANGES

Generally, the following things happened to consonants (in no particular order, since this is a quick overview):

Gandal lost uvulars and velar fricatives (also word-initial velar nasals). They all shifted to other things, but their effect on vowel quality remained. The loss of post-vocalic velar fricatives led to vowel length. Vowel length also applied to vowels in stressed open syllables.

The affricates *ts and *dz became θ and ð, respectively.

A lot of segments followed by *j became ʃ, ʒ, tʃ, dʒ, or ɲ.

Then the Great Gandal Vowel Shift came and changed everything. Here’s how it affected vowels:

*ǝ was split between ǝ and ɛ when unstressed. When stressed, it could surface as o, ɛ, or ɑ, depending on the surrounding consonants.

*a surfaced as ɑ or æ, depending on whether an old “back” consonant was in front of it. Unstressed, it became ǝ. Long *aː became either ɑ or e, if there was a [-back] vowel near it to influence it.

*e became ɛ. When lengthened, it became i, unless there was a “back” consonant nearby to block it, in which case it stayed e.

*o stayed o. When lengthened, *oː stayed o after a “back” consonant, but otherwise became u.

In the presence of a “back” consonant, *i and *iː became e; otherwise long *iː became ai and nothing happened to regular *i.

Similarly, *u and *uː became o when after a “back” consonant; otherwise long *uː became au and nothing happened to regular *u.

So, as you can see, I basically did my darnedest to turn this language into English. Worked out pretty well!

NOUNS

Nouns inflect for case and number. They also were split into two overarching types, each of which has two subtypes. Nouns are divided by animacy (animate vs. inanimate), and after that come in two different classes: Order and Chaos. Inflection varies a bit based on whether a noun ends or begins in a consonant or a vowel, but otherwise things are fairly regular within a subtype.

Animate nouns have two cases: A nominative/oblique case, and an accusative case. Order nouns look like this (singular/plural pairs; nouns, in order, are mæk “eagle”, angzaw “guard”, and irin “duck”):

NOMINATIVE/OBLIQUE: mæk/mækma, angzaw/angzawma, irin/arima

ACCUSATIVE: imæk/imækma, yangzaw/yangzawma zhirin/yarima

Chaos nouns inflect differently—more prefixing stuff. Here are two examples (singular/plural pairs; nouns, in order, are gol “ghost” and ining “child”):

NOMINATIVE/OBLIQUE: gol/yahol, ining/zhining

ACCUSATIVE: iyol/yahol, zhining/zhining

I know “child” looks pretty simple there, but believe it or not, each of those zh- prefixes is spelled differently (the orthography for this thing is really wacky).

Inanimate nouns basically have a special nominative form. Some have asked before how nominative endings are created. Well, this is one way (slightly modified, because I ended up with ergative marking, but it serves to illustrate).

Inanimate nouns take an -an ending (i.e. [ǝn]), which ultimately derives from the Veda word on, which means “true” or “real”. In the early days of Gandal, when an inanimate noun was used as the subject of a transitive sentence, speakers would often put on after it, with the meaning “actually”. That is, this inanimate object, actually, is the thing that did whatever it is we’re talking about. Pretty soon that was interpreted to be a part of the noun, and it became an obligatory ergative ending for inanimate nouns. That made the basic form only usable in non-accusative, non-agentive situations, and thus it became an oblique case. And that is why noun animate nouns have a case called the nominative/oblique.

So, here are some inanimate nouns in the Order class (singular/plural pairs; nouns, in order, are fiyan “sun”, shiman “jewel”, and angan “shield”):

ERGATIVE: fiyan/ufiyan, shiman/ushiman, angan/ulangan

OBLIQUE: fi/ufi, shem/ushem, ang/ulang

ACCUSATIVE: afi/hufi, ashem/hushem, hang/hulang

Now here are some nouns in the Chaos class (singular/plural pairs; nouns, in order, are jiyan “belly”, chaman “cloud”, and awdhan “whip”):

ERGATIVE: jiyan/yajiyan, chaman/yachaman, awdhan/yudhan

OBLIQUE: ji/yaji, cham/yacham, udh/yudh

ACCUSATIVE: iji/iyaji, icham/iyacham, yudh/yudh

That’s nouns. Prepositions will call for one case or another, and to possess a noun, you put it in the oblique and put it before another noun.

PRONOUNS

If you followed Veda, the pronouns of Gandal should be fairly straightforward, though you may need to take a moment to figure out their etymologies. All personal pronouns decline like animate order nouns (unless you want to be rude, I guess). Here they are:

FIRST PERSON: chun “I”, min “we”

SECOND PERSON: sa “you”, sama “you all”

THIRD PERSON: lin “she, he, it”, homa “they”

If you’re wondering where this -ma suffix you see here and in the nouns comes from, it comes from the Veda word mem, which means “all”.

This is getting a bit long, so I’ll split the post in two. The rest will come tomorrow!

#conlang #language #Arena of Valor #Gandal #Gandal grammar #Veda

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askjeeveshypno-blog · 5 years

Text

What I know about consent violations from having seen a lot of them

Crossposted to Fetlife.

*TLDR: This stuff is complicated, memories and stories are often flawed, and outside of a few sharp lines there is no consensus on what IS a consent violation to say nothing of what is the correct punishment for one. *

Hi, I’m AskJeeves. I’m a “community leader” but please don’t blame my communities for what I’m about to say. I literally ran this past nobody but my wife so the responsibility for my words would be entirely mine and indeed, it’s possible some folks I work with running organizations will be unhappy with me for my directness here. FWIW, I also have never been the head consent person in any organization. I’m just a board member of three different kink groups who has also been in the community for a really long time.

But anyway, in various kink positions of responsibility in hypnokink, regular kink and a kinky arts organization, I’ve seen quite a few complaints. And here are some general impressions. I’ve messed with some details for privacy but kept the spirit of the complaints intact.

1. Most of the scene likes to gossip and the drama around consent violations is pretty sweet gossip. The chain of secrecy is almost never intact. I’m good at keeping secrets. When I hear about a consent complaint, I treat it as confidential and don’t talk about it. But people who know I’m in a position to know VERY FREQUENTLY talk to me. This puts me in this wacky position of “A complained about B, and everyone seems to know that. A is talking about it and B is talking about it, and people want to talk to me about it, but I don’t 100 percent know WHAT A and B are saying and if one of them is leaving a detail or two out on purpose and I reveal it, I’ve seriously breached my responsibilities,” so I do a lot of smiling and nodding about consent complaints. Also, “B and I are at the same party and B is recounting a romanticized version of what they did that leaves out a lot of facts and if I’m quiet it looks like I agree but I’m really not in a position to speak up,” which also sucks, but they way.

2. The vast majority of complaints we get are in gray areas, and it’s almost impossible to nail down what a “consent violation” actually is outside of what’s actually illegal or specific enough to be spelled out in rules we already had:

a. A guy wrote about kink stuff on his public facebook on the regular. Somebody who was mad at him got drunk and posted something on the same facebook page about how much he sucked for not coming to her play party. Said guy got drunk person banned from a dungeon for “outing her” in a place he’d already outed himself.

b. I’m pretty judgy about JK Rowling retweeting TERFS, but should a con punish someone for retweeting a post that outs somebody?

c. If someone steals someone else’s money without permission, is that a consent violation?

d. If C and D make plans to play, and then C loses interest but never actually says “actually, I changed my mind,” and just puts off or ghosts D, how many times can D follow up, in what ways and getting what responses, without it becoming harassment? (Soft nos are VERY complicated from a “trying to enforce consent rules” perspective. In this situation, C almost always says that D is ignoring a “no” and D almost always says that C seems really busy so D thought D would keep trying and they were eager to do the play C had earlier said they wanted.)

e. If E made a promise to follow a bunch of rules set by a group, and then broke one of them, and F, a member of the other group, complains to a my group that E consented to follow the rules and broke them and the complain to MY group, which has different rules, is that violating the first group’s consent?

f. Hypno-specifically, what counts as non-negotiated use of persuasive language and where?

g. The above complexities quadruple for trying to ban someone from an event or organization for something they did online. Does this happen in rare circumstances? Yes. But the bar is quite high.

h. Some of y’all who are black and white thinkers or just very decisive will feel like you can go down this list going “Yes, no, yes, yes, no” but suffice to say, even if one of these seems straightforward to you, it hasn’t to me in the past, perhaps because of further details I’ve left out for brevity or something I changed to make the situations less specific..

3. If you’ve been banned or whatever, threatening to bring in a lawyer never helps you. Kink organizations are private. We mostly have our own lawyers and know very well how incredibly legal it is to exclude someone from a private organization for a good reason, a bad reason or no reason at all unless it’s a discriminatory reason. Proving “discrimination” is very difficult, proving “defamation” is too. Suing a kink organization for not letting you in requires money up front that almost none of us have, so it’s an empty threat anyway unless the person making the threat is independently wealthy. I write this under the assumption that if you ARE independently wealthy and are willing to sue us into the ground if you don’t get what you want, these words won’t stop us anyway.

a. Suffice to say that when you threaten to sue it indicates to me as a person in a position of responsibility is that “bringing in a lawyer to make threats” is something you’re willing to do when you don’t get what you want, and if my organization continues to deal with you, this will almost certainly happen again. So why would we want you in our private organization? Do you really provide so much benefit to the organization that this constant threat is worth it to us?

b. Caveat: If someone has sexually assaulted you, by all means, call the cops or a lawyer if you feel comfortable doing so. I’m not at all saying that legal mechanisms have no place in kink when directed at the person who hurt you. But as fair as organizations are concerned threatening to sue, or coy letters about how you might threaten to sue if you don’t get your way, are counterproductive and have a strong whiff of bullshit, which is never a good thing if you’re trying to convince us you’re not lying about anything else.

4. Long relationships that end in one or both parties accusing one another of consent violations the moment they break up are a nightmare to deal with on the consent side. Because abuse REALLY DOES happen in long term relationships. But there are many ways of being a shitty partner that are consent violations. People who have just broken up last week can almost never tell the difference.

5. People who talk about consent ALL THE TIME have a bad habit of setting their own rules about it in ways that benefit their own bullshit. Such people are often so excited to talk about other people’s consent violations that they make a big deal without having investigated or otherwise gotten the full story. So people who make a big public deal about rumors of other people’s problems have raised a red flag about themselves. This is completely irrelevant if they never have a consent complaint raised about them. But if they do, the red flag is there. A red flag doesn’t decide anything, but people are going to notice it.

6. I get that Jeff Mach got paid. Just about nobody else in kink does and if you’re looking to get paid, running a con is a terrible way to do it. We’re volunteers throwing parties/events for the community. We want people to be safe but we also hang out at our own parties/cons and we don’t want to hang with jerks. Nobody gets banned for being a jerk alone, but if you’ve yelled at us, been an asshole when you dumped our friend, been accused of minor things many times before, or otherwise caused a lot of problems, that’s not going to help you get what you want. Again, if I personally think you’re a jerk but no one ever complains about you, that’s fine. Some of you ARE jerks and I demonstrably haven’t. But if you’ve got what feels like a long history of being difficult or causing problems, that’s a strike against you. My kid brother has a long history of cussing out cops and has been told he has the worst driving record in the county where we live. Most of the judges and cops in our county have met him and he was unpleasant every time. If you think every new time he’s a defendant there is a clean slate and none of that prior stuff matters, you’ve been sold of a vision of our justice system, and possibly humanity, that doesn’t exist. We are trying to be fair but it would be weird to expect a bunch of volunteer kinksters to be less susceptible to their own perceptions.

7. Rumors people have heard about bad behavior, complaints from unverifiable and likely fake scene names, or a friend making a complaint on behalf of an anonymous friend are simply impossible to investigate or do anything about.

8. Two years ago, a group of people got together to lie about an innocent person assaulting someone. They were people the consent folks at the event liked and trusted. And then the truth came out. It is never impossible that this is happening. And it ruined what seemed like a pretty solid kink organization. There are mitigating factors here and there but the bones of it are an organization people put thousands of dollars and untold hours into that brought a lot of people joy was ruined, because like eight people didn’t get what they want on something incredibly minor and broke the consent system, and the con, on purpose. Again, the consent folks didn’t handle things optimally either, but when eight people are willing to tell the same lie it’s tough to imagine that ending well for them, their victim or the organization. Consent organizers never want that to happen to us, but it’s unrealistic not to accept that it could.

This stuff is complicated. And again, I’m only writing on behalf of myself. But these kinds of issues are what folks who seriously work on consent face. I'm happy to talk about them. But if you think you have an iron-clad, one-size-fits-all solution, you probably don't?

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la-z-boy-linguist · 5 years

Text

W(h)acky Musings

Newsrooms across the country were split this week over what I firmly believe to be an errant “H.”

President Trump, in the midst of a bitter online feud with the husband of one of his closest advisers, delivered a vocal blow while speaking to reporters. Moments before traveling to Ohio, the president called Kellyanne Conway’s husband, George, a “wack job.” Or perhaps a “whack job.”

Publications couldn’t seem to agree on the spelling of the insult, which, while spoken colloquially often enough, is rarely printed in the pages of the New York Times and the like. So rarely, in fact, that the AP Stylebook–the Holy Bible of newspaper grammar–does not have an entry for the word.

The guide’s only reference to the term appears to be an answer to a May 2017 question from a reader: “It’s slang so avoided by AP on its own. It’s whack job in direct quotes, though.”

As a J-school trained reporter, I usually defer to the prescriptivism of the Stylebook as the reigning authority. But this is a rare case where I think the book is wrong, and it’s a hill (with an H) that I’m willing to die on.

My reasoning: The dig “wack job” itself stems from the other, slightly less offensive, insult of “wacky.” Someone who is so wacky that the word doesn’t do it justice could, logically, be referred to as a “wack job.” Merriam-Webster’s entry for “wacky” notes that “whacky” is a less common spelling of the word, while the Cambridge English Dictionary lists it only as “whack job.”

While language and spelling are of course ever-fluid and evolving, “whack” here is not a viable alternate simply because it means something else. In my own newsroom, several people correctly observed that “whack” means to hit or wallop, and therefore “whack job” sounds like something from a mafia movie. One brave soul noted on the company-wide email chain that “whack job” could be perceived to have sexual connotations.

Which is why I was so shocked to see so many publications, including my own, go with the H. The schism was widespread, with newspapers leaning more in favor of “whack,” and some even starting the day sans-H and adding it later on.

CNN senior editor Amanda Katz tweeted that after much debate, the outlet’s fact-checking team ultimately went with “wack job,” adding that “a hit man performs a ‘whack job.’”

Political journalists and copy editors were whacked in the face with the word on Wednesday, but it is by no means the first time the debate has come up.

Grammarist identifies the phrase as “wack-job,” but notes that it is usually spelled “whack-job.” The blog raised the fair point that including the H implies a figurative brain injury resulting in said wackiness: “Perhaps we are to infer that a whack-job is someone who has been whacked in the head, figuratively or otherwise.”

Gawker took a strong stance in favor of “wack” in 2013 in a response to a post from esteemed writer and cultural commentator Ta-Nehisi Coates under the headline “My President Is Whack.”

“The word meaning ‘bad, messed up, stupid, boring, dumb, uninteresting, unenjoyable, or otherwise not good’ is spelled ‘wack.�� The letter ‘H’ is not involved.”

Like the AP Stylebook, Gawker makes the important point that “wack” and “wack job,” no matter the spelling, are spoken slang, so “when you ask how it's spelled, you're just asking someone to make up a spelling on the spot.”

“Slang words are inherently flexible and ever-changing and and slang is whatever we make it,” the post reads. “There is no appeal to authority that can settle this argument once and for all.”

Still, I think Gawker’s final verdict stands: “It's wack. It's not ‘whack.’ That shit looks ridiculous.”

And until the day I use “whack job” in a piece about a particularly violent sexual act (entirely plausible in the modern news landscape), the AP Stylebook can keep its H’s. And don’t even get me started on the hyphen.

#grammar #spelling #linguistics #langblr #journalism #writing #grammar nerd #politics #political news #trump #media #media criticism #internet linguistics #ap stylebook #ap style #journalist #wack job #whack job #wacky

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soraavalon · 5 years

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Vastrun!Nym bc i love her so much what a good bean: 1, 3, 8, 20, 30, 31, 43, A, E, G, H

Vastrun!Nym bc i love her so much what a good bean:

Nym is a good bean. A good chaotic bean. XD

1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

… Not very long. Give it a couple of minutes and she’s turning something a different color/pattern with Prestidigitation.

3. How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

Nym usually takes a long hot bath and reads the current trashy romance she’s reading for at least three or four chapters, then it’s time for bed.

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child

She was often told to not practice tightrope walking unsupervised as a child.

But she was also encouraged to try new things, but that isn’t to say that her father had an easy time getting Nym to eat her vegetables, that was always an uphill battle.

20. If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

“Well platonic love is like you love your friend, but not in the ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’ kind of way. There isn’t any kissing, or physical contact that leads to something more. Romantic love is like you’re with a person or persons and being all 'That’s my girlfriend/boyfriend/partner’ and being physically intimate like kissing or being sensual.”

30. Who do they most regret meeting?

Lord Cain Bastian of Everguarde.

If Nym had a Wish spell, she would try to go back in time and tell herself to not meet with him, to take his letter and burn it regardless of how rude it is, and be done with it.

31. Who are they the most glad to have met?

The people of Cirque du Spirit. They’re like an extended family that she is glad to have met.

43. If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?

“Well, I’m attracted to both guys and girls equally, but here’s the thing; I don’t really feel comfortable with sleeping with someone I just met. I want to get to know the person before having sex.”

A. Why are you excited about this character?

Because I get to play my girl again! You have no idea how much I missed Nym. Even though this Nym is different than who she used to be, I’m happy to explore her new character.

E. Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

I think I would get along with Nym after I’ve had time to get to really know her. I think she would get along with me after coaxing me out of my shell, I think we kinda balance each other out or can tip into the random wacky side of the spectrum. But I do know that we would have a disagreement about the books we like.

G. What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

Her optimism. Out of everything that’s currently happening, she’s still trying to be optimistic that Mayor Pinedale can maintain his place and continue to try helping the city. She hopes that what she and her friends are doing can help even though it seems that it’s not going to help change his view on the situation with the city and the governor.

H. What trait do you admire most?

Her willingness to try new things at least once. I’ve only recently been doing with with food and that’s a thing that happens rarely.

#D&D Character Asks #Vastrun!Nymera

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thedefinitionofbts · 7 years

Text

Our First and Last (Ch. 12 Final)

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 |

Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 (Final)

Pairings: Jeon Jungkook x Reader (MAIN) | Park Jimin x Kim Taehyung | Jung Hoseok x Min Yoongi | Kim Namjoon x Kim Seokjin

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Soulmate Au, Scifi

Words: 3.5K

So this famous Kim Seokjin guy works in an astronomy lab by the ocean that’s located in an observatory on top of a forest covered hill.

The morning before your departure, Jungkook had come and picked you up at your quaint little apartment, a suggestion he brought up the day before, because “it would be much more convenient than meeting up at lab and leaving from there” (or so he had worded it). Your thoughts had been chaotic the night before; keeping you awake into the late hours and pulling you away from sound slumber. Would tomorrow bring new answers or would it lead to finding out things that you might be better off not knowing?

By 7am, you were almost two tired to feel nervous when you saw him pull up to the driveway in his black Audi SUV. Your morning routine had all been a blur, but as soon as you open the door to the passengers side all the traces of drowsiness vanishes when Jungkook greets you with a smile that makes the world come alive. He was dressed casually once again, which shouldn't be surprising because that’s how he’s always dressed outside of lab. But his oversized white t-shirt and distressed black jeans, brings you back into another dimension, almost quite literally too.

“I know it’s early, but the drive is going to take about four hours,” He says, with his eyes focused on the road. You can’t help but notice the way the veins in his arms pop out ever so slightly, as he holds the steering wheel with one hand, expertly maneuvering the vehicle as he drives.

“Oh it’s fine, I’m used to it” You reply lightheartedly, hoping he doesn’t hear the tiredness entangled in your voice. It’s true that you were indeed used to getting up at the early hours of dawn, you have four years of college to thank for that, but even the pending doom of having an exam the next day wasn’t enough to keep you awake as much as you had been last night.

Perhaps it was just the fact that the two of you were outside of lab, but he seemed different today, more relaxed and less professional (and no, not just because of his attire). It made you wonder what he might be thinking about, or if he had been just as restless as you had the night before.

The road trip was filled with small talk and occasional silences that were both natural and comforting. At one point, Jungkook’s eyes leave the road for a moment to look over at you, his brown doe eyes glimmering from the sunlight reflecting off of the rearview mirror and hair ruffling from salty breeze filtering through the open window, it’s a look that makes you realize just being with him now was more than enough, so you cast away the thoughts that had kept you up all night.

The observatory was a building that clearly displayed countless years of history in its weather worn walls, but despite its age being up there and the evident need for remodeling, it was nonetheless awe-inspiring. Its rounded dome peaked out above the trees and overgrown vegetation, overlooking the calm water from a cliff that juts out towards the sea. As the two of you approach the base of the building, you realize it’s much taller up close, rising up from the ground and opening up to the clear blue sky.

“I could smell a couple of love birds from a mile away” You hear a voice echo throughout the dimly lit and overly cluttered base chamber, as you follow closely behind Jungkook who’s eyes are wide, filled with curiosity, and scanning the room, much like the way yours was too. You weren’t sure if that was the voice of Kim Seokjin, and you were trying to convince yourself that the comment was not directed at you and Jungkook, but all of that bites the dust as you see a tall male wearing a white lab coat walk out from behind one of the storage shelves.

“Good morning, Dr. Kim Seokjin, I’m Jeon Jungkook” Jungkook says as he walks over and offers a handshake in greeting.

“Ah yes, the famous MD-PhD neurosurgeon. I’ve heard much about you.” Seokjin accepts the handshake, and continues to not so subtly examine Jungkook from head to toe while occasionally glancing over at you. “I see you’ve come to discuss some topics of research in my field. Or have you come to seek love advice?” Seokjin smirks a little, making you question whether this really is the well-respected physicist that Jungkook has come to admire because this guy seems to be a little too wacky for your taste.

Jungkook clears his throat brushing off the awkwardness brought on by the not so funny dad joke. “Yes, as I’ve expressed earlier, I think your theory could potentially tie into what I’m working on now in my lab.” Jungkook pauses as he watches Seokjin turn and walk over to his desk, which is just a wooden table top covered with books, gadgets, and other unknown objects, it was situated by a set of large glass windows facing the ocean. An arrangement that makes it obvious he likes to enjoy the breathtaking view as he works on whatever new theory his mind is conjuring up at the time. Seokjin signals for Jungkook to have a seat, which Jungkook does obediently, mind probably still swirling with thoughts about how to begin the discussion. “In your recently published paper you stated that theories from quantum mechanics suggest that there are an infinite number of universes out there; just based on the way subatomic particles behave. I was wondering if those universes are completely invisible to us, or if there is a possibility of traversing between them.” Jungkook says as he’s seated across from the physicist.

You had just been casually looking at the objects on the shelves, minding your own business, not wanting to interrupt or get in the way, but you ears perk up at his last sentence. Was Jungkook slowly remembering? Is that why he asked you to come today? The excitement and curiosity builds, but you sternly remind yourself not to get your hopes up too high.

Seokjin chuckles, a response that startles you as the light vibration from his laugh spreads through the room. “I see you’re caught up in the fact that physical laws dictate our perception of the universe.”

“Do they not?” The uncertainty in Jungkook’s voice is more noticeable than you had ever witnessed before. He falls silent, as Seokjin leans back in his chair and crosses his arms.

“Oh, but Dr. Jeon, have you ever considered the idea that our consciousness is not governed by the laws of physics and perhaps that’s why it has never been properly explained.” Seokjin says rather confidently, and it’s the first time your witnessing Jungkook confused by another scientist’s theory. “The fact that consciousness itself is above any limitations in the physical world?”

He sits there, not responding to what the older scientist has just proposed, but seemingly deep in thought. You watch as his eyebrows furrow, and he avoids direct eye contact with the physicist. None of what Seokjin was saying was making any sense to you, but you didn’t think anyone had the power to confuse Jungkook, especially not when it comes to theories of consciousness since that’s always been his forte.

“I may not be an expert neuroscientist like you, but I’ve spent years investigating theories.” Seokjin proceeds. “However, I would’ve never believed the brain has the power to choose which universe to consciously perceive if I hadn’t met him.”

Him? Don’t tell me he’s going to talk about some sort of divine entity…

You look at Seokjin, waiting for him to explain whom this “him” is, hoping that the next thing that come out of his mouth will not cause him to lose credibility in your mind because this guy has certainly left a crazy scientist sort of impression on you so far. You notice the evident fondness in his eyes as he’s clearly recalling an old memory.

“Whenever people ask me why I chose to be an astronomer, I always tell them it’s because I liked looking at stars as a child, but the true reason is because I met a man named Kim Namjoon” Seokjin says in a nostalgic voice.

Kim Namjoon…

The images flash before your eyes. You vaguely recall an empty library and a young professor looking at you from behind a pair of old fashioned spectacles.

“I got really sick one year, when I was five. The doctors didn’t think I would make it and I fell into some sort of coma that lasted for a week or so, and that’s the first time I saw him.” You hear Seokjin’s voice, but it sounds muffled and far away. You feel a bit dizzy and sway a little on your feet, unable to find anything near you to grab onto to maintain balance.

“Y/N, are you ok?” Before you know it, Jungkook is by your side, supporting you so that you don’t fall over. You nod, reassuring Jungkook that you feel fine.

“I don’t want to make this all cheesy and say that it was love at first sight, but that boy was really something” Seokjin is so caught up in his thoughts that he momentarily forgets his surroundings and seems to be lost in his own world of thoughts. “He was extremely intelligent, tall, and had the cutest dimples when he smiled. And boy did he smile a lot.”

“So you’re telling me, you were able to perceive someone in another universe?” You hear Jungkook ask. He’s still standing next to you, holding onto your shoulders even though you had pretty much recovered from your dizzy spell moments ago.

“Newton ended up believing in god because he wasn’t able to explain everything in the universe, as did Einstein when he died without having figured out how to connect quantum mechanics and general relativity after spending the last years of his life researching it. Is it so hard for you to accept the idea of soulmates, Dr. Jeon? ”

Again, Jungkook doesn’t respond. He probably has too many conflicting thoughts swirling around his brain to come up with a composed response, and it was clear that Seokjin’s theories have really hit home.

“The minds of soulmates use their conscious perception to defy the limiting laws of the universe or the boundaries between universes in order to reach each other.” Seokjin finally says.

“What about universes that have different timelines?” You find yourself blurting out before your brain could approve of the action.

Seokjin chuckles again. “Time isn’t linear, everything is happening at once,” He explains. “That’s how people seamlessly traverse between parallel universes, or more accurately how their brains switch from perceiving one universe to perceiving another.” He pauses before making a last comment. “It’s almost like we don’t see reality as it is, but instead we see it how we want to. On a certain level of course, these decisions are obviously not perfectly unaffected by the universe itself, but it goes to show how powerful our brains are or can be. ”

It was all starting to come together, albeit still very difficult to wrap your head around, but everything was at least beginning to make some sense.

“So he was right?” You whip your head around to look at Jungkook who has spoken up after being silent for so long. He laughs and shakes his head. “My professor in grad school.” He explains. “He told me that space-time is not the nature of reality, and that they are more like your desktop computer, and objects in the world are icons on that desktop, hiding the true reality of the universe via this interface we see before our eyes.” He chuckles again. “Made no sense to me at the time, but now….” He shakes his head, still smiling and not really looking at either you or Seokjin.

There goes anything that was starting to make sense. You think to yourself as you hear the words leaves Jungkook’s mouth and mentally sigh.

Suddenly a loud roar of thunder crackles through momentary silence, which makes you almost jump out of your skin. You look over and notice that the previously clear sky is now covered in dark grey clouds. The conversation had caused the three of you to lose track of time, a glance at the old clock hanging on the wall revealed that it was already 4:00 in the afternoon.

“Looks like you two better get going before it starts pouring.” Seokjin says as he looks out the window. The wind was kicking up and you could see the trees swaying from the strong gust, with the sea in the background, dark waves rippling across its surface.

“Thank you, Dr. Kim, I appreciate it” Jungkook says, before the two of you walk out of the observatory.

The rain begins slowly, with just a few sprinkles carried by the wind hitting your face, but it quickly, almost violently begins to downpour. The sound of raindrops hitting the leaves drowns out any hope of having a normal conversation to bring any closure to the information that Seokjin has provided. Jungkook is walking in front of you, not too far ahead, but far enough that you can’t see his expression and that’s when you start to feel a bit of frustration building up in the pit of your stomach. Was he just going to leave it at that? Is he just going to go back to lab and not ever explain why he dragged you along or why he constantly confuses you with all of these theories that you clearly aren’t able to fully understand?

“Jungkook, why did you bring me here today?” You finally lose that last bit of control and restraint, bottled up emotions finally breaking free like the stormy weather you were currently amidst. The pouring rain must’ve given you some sort of magical courage to ask, because that question had been looming there all day, like the elephant in the room that no one seems to want to address.

He stops in his tracks, and slowly turns around, taking a few steps towards you, doe eyes unreadable, dark hair wet and sticking to his forehead.

The next thing you know, his lips are crashing against yours and it’s almost as if someone hit a pause button on the world, and universes decided to stop the flow of time for what feels like an eternity because Jungkook’s lips are softer than the way you used to imagine clouds to be and sweeter than your favorite childhood candy, they move gracefully, conveying endless flower fields of desire and affection. The scent of his cologne mixed with the warmth of his body and the relentless rain, washes away every last doubt that makes you ask questions like will he ever feel the same way about me again? And is it possible for us to be together?

Jungkook’s eyes always emanated light, like a window to his soul or some gateway to heaven, but when he finally pulls away, you can’t tell if it’s the rain or if he’s crying because your own tears are too overwhelming.

“Because I need you,” He whispers, as he pulls you in for a warm embrace.

You don’t know how long he stands there holding you in his arms, but you don’t care because you never want that moment to end. You slowly wrap your arms around him and bury your face into the familiar crevice of his chest, an irreplaceable safety net that only he was ever able to provide for you.

“But Jimin and Taehyung….” You trail off, not knowing why they seem to feel like they’ve lived through several lifetimes together. You were sitting in the car now, drying off your hair with a towel that Jungkook happened to have stored away in his trunk.

“Dreams only last seconds, but when your in them, doesn’t it feel like days or much longer? I think it’s similar to that. ” Jungkook says, as he drives down the mountain. The rain is starting to subside, and the clouds are clearing up. He drives down to the beach; knowing that the worst of the storm has passed and probably not wanting to head back to the city just yet.

Sitting next to him in the wet sand, and gazing at the large body of water in whose surface has now calmed to its resting state, brings back another memory, one that makes your heart race and clench at the same time. Blue waves are splashing gently against the shore, stopping just before receding back into the deep ocean. You look towards the horizon, basking in the salty breeze whose flavor is now tinted ever so slightly with the fresh smell of rain, waiting for a rainbow to appear in the sky that is speckled with only a few grey clouds.

“The feelings are still there, even though they may lack the depth and clarity that full consciousness allows for.” Jungkook says, after taking a deep breath. He turns away from the sky that’s pouring light and faces you.

And you think that he’s preparing to apologize, and that the next thing that comes out of his mouth will be something along the lines of he’s sorry for not being able to remember and that he wishes he could, but what he actually says is something that you don’t think you’ll ever forget, even if you get Alzheimer’s when your 70 or 60 or earlier, even if the end of the world comes before then, and even when you’re lying in your grave and all the neuron’s in your brain are biologically pronounced dead.

“It doesn’t even matter, because I fell in love with you anyways.” Jungkook reaches over and caresses your cheek with his hand, tracing the curve of your jawline and wiping the tear that has slid down your cheek with his thumb. “And it doesn’t matter where you are, because even if I don’t remember you, I will still love you. In this world where our eyelids will one day find their infinite darkness, I will still love you. And when the vast amounts of multiverses revert back to nothingness, I will still love you. ” He leans in, and kisses you, delicately cupping your face in both of his hands, so gentle as if you would shatter under too much force. “We were able to meet even when our chances of doing so defied all odds. Out of all the infinite number of possible collisions of particles in this vast multiverse, we found each other because soulmates are people whose minds choose the same universe to meet in and to fall in love.” His nose is still gently brushing yours as he whispers those words, eyes closed and soft hands still cupping your face.

When a long sentimental moment passes and he finally pulls away, you open your eyes. Looking at him through the tears threatening to blur your vision, he was still beautiful in every way you remember, in every way your mind decides to etch his very being into your heart, a kind of beauty that emanates from his soul, the tender warmth that’s always there no matter what universe.

“Our time may be limited, but it’s more than enough.” He says, making you realize that having a limit on the amount of time you could spend with each other, will make you wholeheartedly appreciate the moments you saw the sparkle in his eyes and the endearing smile on his face more than anything else. “This moment right now is the only one that truly matters.”

And because saying “I love you” doesn’t feel like it’s enough to express what you’re feeling, because those simple words could never be enough to describe how you feel about Jeon Jungkook, you smile and hold his hand, gripping him firmly as to never let go. You think of Jimin and Taehyung, Hoseok and Yoongi, and even Namjoon and Seokjin, no matter how or in which universe their minds decide to meet, they all have their own stories where they convey their love, love that transcends physical matter and goes on to last for an eternity.

“Jungkook, I want to tell you a story…” You say, smiling as you gaze at his face and the setting sun in the background. There were dark purple clouds with shiny white peaks, and the canvas that was the sky was a gradient from navy to bright blue, drifting to yellow, orange, red and pink.

“Whenever you’re ready”

You smile.

“It’s called ‘Our First and Last’”

...

#bts fanfic #bts scenarios #bts angst #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #namjin #kim taehyung #park jimin #vmin #jung hoseok #min yoongi #yoonseok #bts soulmate au #angst and fluff #scifi

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dasha-aibo · 7 years

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Hey, I’ve actually finished a chapter of my short story! And I present it to you here for your enjoyment!

I’m going to make a separate blog for my writing later and that will be the time I ‘ll decidee on the actual title, but for now, enjoy!

Please, do leave some critique and feedback, as an amateur who WANTS to grow, I really need that.

It was getting late; 7 PM to be exact. Normally, Tanya was already at home, either working out, drinking beer, or doing anything to fill her time. Instead, she was riding down an old elevator into Chancery’s spacious basement to meet the only coroner working there.

Not like he had a lot of work.

Most deaths were easier to hide, really. If you could easily tell what killed the poor sod, you give a call to the Cleaner’s office and they take care of the situation. On a rare occasion when the officer at the spot had no idea what happened, the corpse would be transferred to Basil.

Tanya walked through the long hallway before stopping at an intersection to confirm where she had to go. There were only two signs: “Prison” and “Coroner”. She was not at all fond of Chancery’s laconic style of labels, but it was something she was getting used to as time went on.

The words of her orientation teacher popped up in her head, “it’s a necessary measure. Chancery is a global organization and we need all our employees and associates to be capable of understanding each other. One spell telepathically reads someone’s thoughts and translates them to your native language. It’s a bit harder with writing, as the thoughts aren’t inherently there and the spell translates them rather directly. To say that this causes problems would be... an understatement. So, we simplify it as much as we can to avoid any ambiguity.” Mr. Thatcher was a history teacher before he saw through and joined Chancery as an official employee. Tanya always found him a little soft and spineless, and she never liked men like that; or women, for that matter.

She finally stumbled upon a big metal door and slid it towards the side, the harsh smell of various chemicals immediately assaulting her senses. Tanya really didn’t want to know what she was smelling.

“My report isn’t finished yet,” great, so she was hurried here for nothing, “give me a couple of minutes, I will be done by then,” shouted a white ginger man in his early 30s. He was practically buried inside a corpse, almost up to his shoulders. Only it wasn’t a corpse. Corpses usually don’t lift their heads and wave at you.

“H-hi,” Tanya awkwardly waved in response to the not-corpse.

“Name’s Andrew,” the surprisingly alive man hissed and forced a smile, exposing his elongated canines.

Oh.

A vampire. That explains how he survived… what exactly?

She came closer to get a better look at the man sprawled over a cold metallic table. That must be uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as the giant hole in his belly. Most of the vampire’s internal organs were missing, along with a good chunk of his spine. Tanya stared at it for a few seconds before lifting her eyes up. She saw through a good half a year ago, but was still not used to all the weirdness that now surrounded her life. From vampires to homunculi and runaway mages. It was overwhelming at times.

“You want to hear the hole story, don’t you?” Andrew chuckled at his own joke while Tanya looked at him blankly.

“She’s Russian,” sighed Basil, “puns don’t really translate well.”

“That’s a shame. I got a hole lot of them,” the vampire burst out in laughter as Basil simply shook his head.

“I’ve been hearing the same stupid pun for over an hour now,” the coroner sighed as he extended his hand in the air. A thin, gray hand stretched seemingly out of nowhere and passed Basil a pair of forceps, which he instantly buried in the wound in front of him. Ah yes, that thing…

Tanya was warned about Patrick well in advance, but she was still taken aback. A thin, humanoid figure without a mouth or genitals was floating in the air next to Basil, helping him with his work. No one knew what it was, no one knew how Basil ever acquired it, no one could even tell if it was sentient or not. It just appeared on the day he saw through and followed his every order. The coroner was quite willing to let the Research Department experiment on it, but even their best men didn’t get much of a result.

And so, Patrick was left as just another unsolved mystery. Chancery was no stranger to those.

Tanya forced herself not to look at the floating… thing, and instead diverted her attention back at the vampire—who seemed to be done making jokes she couldn’t possibly hope to understand, at least for now.

“We were having a Halloween party,” he began, waving his hand in the air to collect his thoughts. “Mostly Chancery staff, naturally, a few unaffiliated friends who tagged along here and there. I’m the only vampire there, so, of course I dress all Dracula-like – a big-ass cape with red insides, white shirt, you know what I mean.”

“Aren’t you still wearing that?” Tanya only just now took her time to take note of what the vampire was wearing and, yes—it was exactly as he described. Cape, shirt, and… tight shiny pants? She frowned to herself, but decided not to focus on that last part.

“Yeah, that’s kind of the point!” He snapped his fingers in frustration, “just let me finish, okay?” Andrew sharply exhaled and continued, “anyway, it’s the middle of the party and we run out of booze, because some people,” he spat out the last two words as if they were an insult in and of themselves, “really should plan ahead so that their friendly neighborhood vampires don’t get a fucking hole in their gut.”

“I really wish you would get to the point already,” Basil griped and was now sitting by the side of the table, tapping his recordings into a tablet, “your personal woes have very little impact on the story.”

“Right, anyway. Me and some guys take one of the unlucky sods who chose to be the driver that night and we ride to the store to pick up some more,” Andrew continued, “we arrive at the store, get out of the car and see a group of, like, teens? 20-somethings? I don’t know, I couldn’t tell. Point is, they were outside of the store in full Halloween garb, and I was drunk and decided to have some fun.”

“If you count ‘being an idiot’ as fun, that is.” Basil nodded to Tanya, “there I’ve just sent the report.”

“Wait, but… Why was I even here, then?” She took a step back, her brow furrowing.

“Beats me,” Basil shrugged, “they probably just wanted you to be busy.”

“Great. Just great,” Tanya muttered, clenching her fist in rightful, but somewhat pointless frustration.

“Can you. Let me. Finish?” Andrew forced himself to stand up a little, which was an impressive feat given the state of his midsection. When he was sure he got the others’ attention he continued. “Anyway, I see those guys, right? And I think to myself ‘wouldn’t it be fun to scare them a little? In the name of the Halloween?’ And that’s exactly what I do—I walk up to them without any warning, stretch my cape open and do the whole intimidation song and dance – I hiss, bare my teeth, turn my eyes red, contort my facial features so that they’re all wacky and scary-like, you know,” he chuckles, “the usual vampiric arsenal. They were obviously not ready to see that, but they’re drunk as hell themselves and it goes right to their heads; they start screaming.” Andrew’s smile grew wider and wider as his chuckles were threatening to turn into a full-out laughter. “Yeah, I do that and then this one dude puts his hands together and—whammo!” The vampire made a quick motion with his hand, indicating the power of said “whammo.” “I’m hit with some kind of bolt of energy that feels like ten fucking shotgun shells at once, hurled twenty feet back and land in a crumpled mess with half of my internal organs missing.”

Tanya hissed herself before pushing out a single “ouch”.

“’Ouch’ indeed,” he chuckled, resting his head back on the cold metallic slab. “Anyway, I pass out on the spot and the next thing I know this guy is digging through my guts,” Andrew motioned towards Basil who just shook his head.

“So… any reason you were brought to the coroner in the first place?” Tanya inquired. Curiosity was probably the only reason why she hasn’t left yet.

“Well, no one could survive a wound like this,” Basil started to explain, “not a normal human anyway. And vampires have it easy when it comes to patching themselves up, so there was no need to give him any extra medical attention.”

“I’ll just chill for a few weeks and drink nasty canned blood,” Andrew grinned, “no big deal.”

“Right, right,” the coroner nodded, “so it fell to me to determine the nature of what hit him, since the team on the spot couldn’t, and me and Patrick could freely examine the wound and see if we could tell anything from the affected tissue”

“And you have found something, right?” Tanya looked directly in Basil’s eyes.

“You don’t let things get past you, do you?” The coroner grinned in satisfaction. “Not much, but at least we know that the case is unusual. This concerns you as well, so you better be listening,” he prodded the vampire in the shoulder.

“Does it look like I’m not?” Andrew snapped at Basil, frustrated at his condescending tone.

“Right, right...” The coroner took a sharp breath and continued, “anyway, the damage was done by a blast of pure Astral energy of great power. And since I don’t think anybody formally trained by the Chancery is stupid enough to be scared by a vampire...”

“It’s either a wild mage or a demiurge?” Tanya guessed excitedly.

“It’s either a wild mage or a demiurge,” confirmed Basil.

A whole demiurge! On her second month in the Chancery! Those guys were rare as hell, but were absolutely necessary to keep the Chancery up and running. Tanya would give up an arm and a leg to be a part of an official operation to bring one of those in! She could… why, she could…

“What are you so excited about, errand girl?” Snickered the vampire, turning his gaze towards Tanya once more, “even if it is a demiurge, they would never let someone from the First Heaven handle this.”

“At least I’m a part of it!” she growled, “what’s your problem? This is the most excitement I get since those paper-pushers failed to get me assigned anywhere and you want to ruin that for me?”

“Woah, woah, woah!” Andrew raised both his hands defensively, “calm down, newbie, nobody is out to ruin your fun. I’m just trying to get you to have realistic expectations,” he sneered, “don’t think that just because you saw through your life is going to radically change.”

“I’ve already signed up for a spot on TUSK, you know,” Tanya crossed her arms on her chest and looked at the vampire victoriously, “what do you say to that, bl-”

“You don’t want to finish that word,” growled Andrew, “I know people who would snap your stupid little neck in half for that.”

“Oh, la-dee-da, I got a vampire angry!” She flexed her arm and slapped her rather impressive biceps, “you really think you can take on these guns?”

“Enough,” roared Basil as he stood, his usually quiet voice piercing the cold air of the morgue, “both of you really need to be on your way. Now.”

Andrew snorted, “I can’t stand, smartass.”

“Then Tatiana here will go call somebody to pick you up,” Basil squinted at the girl, “please.”

“Fine.” She rolled her eyes, “bye Basil, bye Patrick,” she waved to the coroner and his “partner” before starting to walk out. On a whim, she stopped, turned towards Andrew and made a motion with two fingers from her eyes to his. The vampire scoffed at that, but Tanya has already left the morgue.

It was later that night when she finally arrived back at her small one-room apartment in a half-forgotten town between Moscow and St. Petersburg. The Chancery provided her with a place to live, as per an ages-old law, but no one ever said the place to live had to be decent. At the very least it fulfilled one of her more crucial needs. She threw her bag onto the couch, connected a charger to her phone, checked her messages and left the apartment once again.

This November turned out colder than usual. The early snow had already fully covered the grass and the chilly wind was ignoring Tanya’s layer of clothes and went straight for her bones. Nothing like back home at Neryungri, naturally, but it was still enough to make late-night walks uncomfortable at best. This wasn’t going to last long. Tanya was already somewhat deep into the woods before she stopped, made sure she wasn’t followed, and started undressing.

While the Eurasian Lynx is found in the Central region of Russia, she is a rather rare guest. Her Eastern cousin the Yakutian Lynx is larger, stronger and, predictably, doesn’t actually live anywhere near Moscow. And yet one of them roamed through the forest deep at night, looking for prey. Heavy paws bouncing off the frozen ground, exploding the mounds of early snow, leaving behind a bright trace. But none of this mattered as the only thoughts running through the lynx’s head were of the chase, of the hunt, of the inevitable prize. And in the end, she got what she wanted as the rabbit was just a little too slow, just a little too clumsy, just a little too stupid. Its small warm body proved to be an ideal meal for the predator and a great end to the long exhausting day.

In the darkness of Tanya’s empty apartment her phone came to life for about ten seconds and then felt silent. And again. And again. After a few tries, the caller lost his patience and settled on sending her a message.

“We found you a place on a TUSK squad. However, you will have to relocate to the USA. Please call me back as soon as possible”

And without her even knowing, Tanya’s life took another sharp turn…

#dasha writes

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fjalamoth · 6 years

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Yuletide Letter 2018

Hello, dear writer! The fandoms are listed in no particular order. Feel free to disregard my story ideas if you already have ideas of your own that you’d like to write, they’re just suggestions. I always mention AUs that completely change the setting in the would rather not read section, but, just to be clear: I’m more than cool with “what if” AUs that change the events that happen in canon, even if those changes are drastic! I’m also pretty easy to please - as long as you don’t include my explicit do not wants I’m going to be happy. I like both dark and fluffy (and cracky) fic, and I’m also happy with fic of any rating.

Black Closet (game)

Characters: Elsa, Vonne

Okay so first off I love this game. A lot. I love how you can play Elsa as anything from ruthless but moral to outright Machiavellian. I love how it’s so gay. I love all the cases and wish the game had even more of them. I ship Elsa with pretty much everyone other than Althea but Elsa/Vonne is definitely my favorite route and that’s why I chose to request these two characters. One of the appeals of Elsa/Vonne is Vonne’s loyalty to Elsa; I’ve shipped villain/right hand (wo)man ships forever and even though Elsa isn’t really a villain they kind of have a similar dynamic. My Elsa/Vonne playthrough had Vonne as the traitor and that crisis just made her later loyalty feel even stronger. That girl would kill for Elsa - or perhaps help her dispose of the body. They have such a strong bond with so much history and it kills me in a good way how Vonne has been pining for Elsa all this time and Elsa just hasn’t noticed (and also hasn’t realized that she feels the same way). Possible ideas for a story:

The school is haunted! A ghost has been sighted roaming the corridors in the middle of the night and it’s up to the student council to deal with it. Of course this is a great opportunity for Elsa and Vonne to bond. Up to you whether or not there really is a ghost or if there’s a more mundane explanation.

Smut. Have Vonne call Elsa “Captain” in bed. Have them have sex when sneaking into someone’s room or during stake outs (I know Elsa doesn’t normally go on those but she wants to hang out with Vonne). Have Elsa bend Vonne over her desk. Have Vonne bend Elsa over that desk - role reversal can be hot too and maybe Elsa likes being the one not in charge every once in a while.

We saw Elsa and Vonne get together in the game, but what if it had happened differently? I love the moment when a relationship really turns into a romance, so I’d love to see it happening again in an alternate way.

Hurt/comfort with Vonne comforting Elsa. Elsa is usually so cool and collected, when she falls apart for once Vonne is there to comfort her (and make sure that nobody else has to find out about it because Vonne is the only one Elsa feels comfortable being vulnerable around).

Things I’d rather not read in this fandom: noncon, AUs that completely change the setting(coffeeshop AUs, A/B/O, mundane AUs…), asexuality headcanons, crossovers

Killing Eve (TV series)

Characters: Eve Polastri, Villanelle|Oksana Aksanova

Oh man, this series was everything I never knew I wanted. A woman with a morbid obsession with an assassin who then turns out to be even more obsessed with her— OMG, yes please. Both Eve and Villanelle are really fascinating characters on their own but their dynamic is where the show really shines and what I'm most interested in reading about in fic too. Oh, and I ship them very much.

Possible ideas for a story:

This is probably rather obvious, but what if Eve didn't stab Villanelle in that last episode? How would things have proceeded then?

The fallout from the last episode: has Villanelle actually gotten her feelings hurt for once? Is she instead, after she has recovered from the shock, intrigued and excited that she has influenced Eve in this way? And what about Eve, how does she cope when perhaps she realizes that she actually doesn't want to lose Villanelle?

Villanelle getting Eve nice clothes and Eve dressing up in those clothes. Well, that already happened in canon but it was glorious and I want more.

Eve Polastri's world has changed quite drastically in a short period of time, but even she couldn't have predicted the zombie apocalypse. In other words, Eve and Villanelle vs. zombies. (I'm not a fan of crossovers generally but here it's okay if you want to borrow zombie worldbuilding from another canon.) Serious or cracky, your choice.

Things I’d rather not read in this fandom: noncon (canon levels of fucked upped-ness is fine though), main character death (and by that I mean Eve and Villanelle, anyone else is fair game), AUs that completely change the setting(coffeeshop AUs, A/B/O, mundane AUs…), asexuality headcanons, crossovers

Peking Opera Blues (1986 movie)

Characters: Tsao Wan, Bai Niu

This movie is such a gem. Crossdressing, wacky hijinks, a beautiful soundtrack, what’s not to love? I’m especially fond of every scene Tsao Wan shares with Bai Niu or Sheung Hung. While I would be more than happy with gen, I ship Tsao Wan/Bai Niu quite a lot. That one scene, where Tsao Wan comforts Bai Niu outside the theater and it starts snowing while beautiful music is playing, was incredibly romantic to me. (Please don’t pair either of them with any of the men.)

Possible ideas for a story:

The scene I mentioned above as very romantic eventually concludes with Sheung Hung getting kicked out of the theater and all three of them going to Tsao Wan’s place to warm up and drink. What if things happened a bit differently and Tsao Wan and Bai Niu ended up drinking together just the two of them?

Tsao Wan’s wounds from the whipping looked pretty gruesome. I’d love some h/c with Bai Niu tending to them. If you want to, feel free to have Sheung Hung helping as well.

Reunion fic! How do all the characters meet up again?

Tsao Wan gets disillusioned with politics and temporarily joins Bai Niu’s theatre company. Hijinks ensue.

Things I’d rather not read in this fandom: noncon, AUs that completely change the setting(coffeeshop AUs, A/B/O, mundane AUs…), asexuality headcanons, crossovers

(A brief note on the names and romanizations: There are a number of ways to romanize the names of these characters, and there are some differences between the Cantonese/Mandarin versions. For clarity’s sake I’ve used ones that AO3 uses, but if you want to use a different spelling feel free, I won’t be confused. I’d prefer if you didn’t call Bai Niu “Pat Neil” though, I’ve never understood why some subtitles call her that…)

#Yuletide 2018 #Yuletide letter

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truly-aninspiration-blog · 7 years

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im just gonna fuck u up ALL for hades AND idk uhhh kiki sure that's prolly ur hardest one lmao have fun w that

wow man

HADES

A = Aftercare Hades is honestly...not the best at cuddling. He can, but around the uh... 5 minute...10 minute MAX mark, he starts feeling sticky and gross and he’s like ok i need 2 go shower or something this is terrible brb,

B = Body part Hades knows he is an attractive person. He thinks he looks AMAZING. Fave part? All of them. On Belle, I mean, he loves her for her mind first i have to clarify this before i go on to say boobs he really-- likes them ok i

C = CumGross. Cum is sticky and gross and he’d rather not deal with it. Plus of condoms man-- get all that cum in one place.

D = Dirty Secret Uhhhhhhhhh gosh so many probably in terms of what he wants to do to Belle. He definitely wants to go down on her. He probably has imagined her going down on him. hades makes me uncomfortable

E = Experience Hades only had a few ish partners before Belle. He only rly ever had nondescript sex, usually quickies. He faked like #makinglove if it got him a room 2 sleep in ahhahF = Favourite Position Uh he’s fucked a lot from behind that’s as good one he has maximum control G = Goofy: Hades has the potential to be goofy. He has...never been goofy before during sex. I think he and Belle exchanged some cute silly words a few times mostly to break the tension or make Belle feel at ease. I’d love to see his goofier sideH = Hair: Hades keeps himself immaculately trimmed (doesn’t shave but-- trimmed). Very well groomed. I = Intimacy: With Belle, he is very intimate. He likes looking in her eyes and stuff, very much wants to make sure she is taken care of. J = Jack Off Hades rly isn’t into masturbating tbh. He’d have to get a real itch to do it, otherwise, he just ignores it bc he has that gr8 level of control and sex has never been a big part of his life.

sides u try being a 14 year old masturbating while there r ghosts in ur shower see how far that gets uK = KinkUh idk if Hades is educated enough in the wacky world of sex to have many ‘kinks.’ Like, besides maybe wanting to change it up with Belle and do more oral lmao I don’t think he’s that wild of a guy. Again, he rly is demisexual-- sex is not a big part of his life/concerns. L = Location A shower is nice bc clean up and sex all in one! M = Motivation Mostly for intimacy purposes. If Belle wants to do it? Idk. When he’s feeling all soft and vulnerable lmao

N = NO Uh well Hades is like so pragmatic he could do honestly anything if asked tbh? I don’t think he has any moral qualms. If Belle wants to be slapped a’ight. Dress up as a beast? (heheh) A’ight. O = Oral Hades likes the idea of giving Belle oral bc he takes pleasure from giving pleasure it makes him feel #powerfulP = Pace answeredQ = Quickie answeredR = RiskansweredS = Stamina Hades has relatively good stamina. Probably bounce back in a half hour and bc he showers after sex, he isn’t one to fall asleep. He could go again. T = Toy Not yet!!! Toys would honestly make him real amused at first, but ok if his partner wants... U = Unfair Hades would LOVE teasing Belle. He’s actually more playful than u’d think and I think that’s why the idea of going down on her is so appealing ehheV = Volume Not noisy at all. He does a couple deep grunts u know that kinda thing. But rly he has amazing self control and he can be entirely silent if needed. W = Wild Card gosh uh-- Hades has given a bloke a handjob once and pickpocketed him after. look, he and seph needed 2 eat seph did tarot readings and hades gave handjobs,

X = X-RayHades is about 6.5, sort of sleeender. It’s a leftie bc he’s a leftie hehe Y = Yearning I wanna say he’s kind of neutral here for the most part. When he realized he was in love with Belle and like-- makes out with her and stuff, he does wanna #getiton but sex rly is never at the forefront of his mind. He’s just as satisfied cuddling on the couch, doing a crossword. Z = ZZZNope! Not until he cleans himSELF

KIKI

A = Aftercare KIKI IS A VIRGIN i imagine she’ll be cuddly tho?

B = Body part KIKI IS A VIRGIN uh she rly loves her legs tbh loves wearing heels and being EVEN TALLER she’s never been self conscious about her height.

C = CumKIKI IS A VIRGIN weirdly enough i feel like she’d be fascinated by cum i feel like a weirdo saying that

D = Dirty Secret KIKI IS A VIRGIN kiki has had sex dreams and she’s always like uh that was weird, in the morning.

E = Experience KIKI IS A VIRGINF = Favourite Position KIKI IS A VIRGING = Goofy: KIKI IS A VIRGINH = Hair: KIKI IS A VIRGIN but she! doesn’t really save down there at all! I mean does some trimming and stuff but she’s got a nice lil bushI = Intimacy: KIKI IS A VIRGIN but i feel like she’ll be pretty romantic. Kiki has always been kinda demisexual tbh so if she does have sex, the emotional connection needs 2 be thereJ = Jack Off this one makes me really uncomfortable... i mean... i dunno i feel like she hasn’t done it much she’s rly so stressed and barely thinks about sex and when she gets in her depressive funks she just sleeps all the time and barely has energy to like feed herself so she’s probably done it a bit when she was younger. not so much nOW

K = KinkKIKI IS A VIRGINL = Location KIKI IS A VIRGIN uh she...on her broom sure M = Motivation Romance and intimacy!!

N = NO Kiki will not want to hURT herself i know that up front ahaha. O = Oral KIKI IS A VIRGIN idk ppl tbh i sorta feel like she’d like giving oral P = Pace KIKI IS A VIRGIN she likes 2 go fast on her broom so WHO KNOWSQ = Quickie KIKI IS A VIRGIN i mean she could get down for that she’d probably think it’s kinda funny like teehee R = RiskKIKI IS A VIRGIN and tbh she’d be really unsure. she’d need instructions. like she’d need her partner to walk thru it and maybe to watch porn of whatever they were trying to help her visualize and understand ahaha she’s a total -claw so S = Stamina KIKI IS A VIRGIN but honestly she’d probably have great stamina T = Toy KIKI IS A VIRGIN broomstick U = Unfair KIKI IS A VIRGIN i could totally see her teasing her partner a lot. Like lil handjobs and stuff under tables and inappropriate places, she’d get a lot of enjoyment from making someone else pleasured + happy ughV = Volume KIKI IS A VIRGIN uhhhh she’s really practiced at crying quietly to herself so jiji wont hear so. . . W = Wild Card one of her sex dreams was about MAUI why not she follows him on insta and thinks he’s really cute,,,

X = X-Rayummmm kiki has a nice dark, lush bush as stated befoooore. uhhh kiki hasn’t really looked at her own vagina much honestly and tbh i have not looked at enough differences in vaginas to really visualize this Y = YearningKiki kinda yearns for a relationship in a way like-- she doesn’t think about it much, but when she does it def bums her out and she feels lonely and watches kdramas and other rom coms in her bed alone ahah. She doesn’t really yearn for the sex part as much as she does someone who will...love her and believe in her and make her feel special, since she’s always feel so not special :/ Z = ZZZtbh i think she’d be the type to get energized from sex like the energizer bunny like WAHOO TIME TO GO AGAIN/DO SPELLS/RIDE ON MY BROOM

#hades #kiki #meme #Anonymous

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