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#wholly entering adulthood
theboarsbride · 2 months
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suddenly hella emotional about moving again... many tears being shed... I don't wanna leave this place.
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marvelandponder · 1 year
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one amazing thing about the Owl House finale is that it finally contextualized for me one of the central metaphors of the show. Spoilers for the series finale Watching and Dreaming ahead.
we good? no one spoiling themselves? beauty
for a long time now, I thought we had a pretty standard coming-of-age metaphor dichotomized by the show's central antagonists. you've got your protestant witch hunter Belos who introduces a maturity and ugliness to Luz's narrative; he clearly represents a particular, restricting form of adulthood, and just when Belos becomes his most threatening, boom, enter the Collector, Luz's dangerously naïve inner child to ruin all her development on the Boiling Isles. Seems simple enough
what I didn't anticipate was just how specific and personal their roles in the story actually are to Luz once you have the full context from the series finale
look again
this story - this whole series - is about the grief that a neurodivergent kid experienced at a young age, introducing the cruelty of loss and adulthood before she was ready to handle it. and, how to reclaim a more whole understanding of herself as she rebuilds her life with people who get her
Belos is designed to infect the titan carcass like a disease. a cancer. it's super goddamn significant that the titan is King's dad (King, who became Luz's younger brother). they set up Belos not just to be another fascist kids' cartoon villain (although yeah, he do be doing some of that), but to specifically become a force that oppressed the weirdness from the one place that understood Luz. the Iles. the dad. And by the end of the story, Belos's goopy body-horror isn't just for show, he's just like the cancer or other terminal disease that took Luz's dad from her
he's the thing Luz hasn't processed in season 1 that comes in at the end like a warning. he's the threat that forces Luz to grapple with her own humanity, feeling somehow (often completely unjustifiably) harmful to those around her, through the grief she doesn't want to be a burden or the weirdness (neurodivergence) others don't understand. he's the force that says there is something wrong with you, Luz, give in to your grief, this is what you can't face. this is the lie you've been telling to those closest to you: that you're okay
then you have the Collector. (notable that he's a collector, and we see Luz's mom and dad had quite the collection of nerdy memorabilia)
the Collector is the child too young to understand death. Too young to understand consequences, or why their playmates don't feel like playing anymore with someone so weird and maybe a bit too involved in their own world. The Collector is Luz's inner child, that kid we see right before the "worst week ever" — the one who didn't and couldn't understand what was about to happen even as it was going down. unapologetically weird, a bit destructive and short-sighted, but wholly colourful, wholly themselves. that's why the Collector wants to live out Luz's adventures, but without all the depth. just the fun escapist fantasy
but don't think I forgot the internal conflict! :D
because Camila's role also gets an added depth too: Camila was framed at the outset of the series as someone who loved Luz, but wanted her to fit inside a box that she just didn't. later, Luz completely misconstrued her mom's breakdown when she learned that Luz chose to run away. as many people have pointed out by now, Luz misremembers the actual dialogue that Camila says: Camila only wanted her daughter safe, not to lose her. Luz meanwhile felt like she had to choose to destroy this part of herself, or give up her connection with her mom altogether
but we know now Camila actually deeply relates to Luz. she may not understand Luz's fascination with horrific things like on the boiling isles (very akin to a kid getting more grim hobbies in the wake of a death, like Luz's taxidermy), but she loves Luz for who she is. all of her. she never wanted Luz to change
Luz was the one framing the central conflict of the show as go back to her mom or stay in the boiling isles. Luz was the one who felt like she had to punish herself by rejecting the one place where she felt like herself. once Camila realizes what's been going on, and how deeply connected it is to the loss of Luz's dad, she knows Luz is trying to make a "very bad choice for herself." And she won't let that happen (what a great mom!!)
But Luz does have one real choice ahead of her
because of the inner child who once again has to confront death (this time, Luz's own), Luz is able to connect with a father figure, the titan, the one place she feels understood. in the form of a power-up that makes her into a fantasy witch straight out of the Good Witch Azura, the one place she got joy after that huge loss, the titan gives her the strength to face the cancer—a force draining everything good in her life from her and making her question she deserves it in the first place—but only if she can choose herself
and that means choosing happiness, choosing found family, choosing love and friendship and self-discovery in the place she feels most at home! every bond she's forged, everything she's worked for, it all comes down to choosing to face grief and move on in life with weirdos who stick together.
hoot hoot, that's some good metaphor
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dollyyun · 6 days
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𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐢��'𝐬 𝐤𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬' 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐲 | 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟓 (𝐥𝐞𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠)
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SYNOPSIS: You and Lee Heeseung are pursuing the same major, and the two of you have always been the top students in your cohort throughout your university years. Although you have never exactly interacted with him, sometimes you catch him staring at you, and the intensity of his gaze is enough to knock the breath out of you. After being heavily involved with his comrades, you should be staying away from him, you should be avoiding him at all costs, and yet, in your vulnerable state, including the lust clouding your better judgement, you fall for his dark allure, allowing him to breach through the walls that you built to protect yourself from them.
PAIRING: non!idols enha hyung line x fem!reader, heeseung x fem!reader
GENRE: 18+ (mdni), semi-college au, adulthood, reverse harem, dark themes.
WARNINGS: mentions of christianity, smoking, alcohol consumption, assault, mild violence, profanities, yandere, manipulation, corruption, toxicity, dubcon theme, unprotected sex (no!), mean&softdom!hee (he’s unpredictable), name calling (slut, sweetheart, pretty, baby), manhandling, degradation, car sex, slight bondage, gagging, choking, dry humping, blowjob, fingering, edging, orgasm denial, crying, squirting, creampies, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, hee is very much obsessed with reader.
WORD COUNT: 35.8k
FEATURING: enha maknae line, txt, le sserafim, ive, aespa.
DISCLAIMER: this fic is inspired by devil's night series written by penelope douglas! also, i am not a Christian, and i didn't bother to do thorough research on the religion, so pardon any false facts or errors.
PART 1, PART 2, PART 3.1, PART 3.2, PART 4, PART 6, PART 7
✘ SERIES MASTERLIST ✘
PLAYLIST: Infected - Sickick, Triggered - Chase Atlantic, Okay - Chase Atlantic, House of Ballons - The Weeknd, Lights Down Low - Maejor, Wet the bed - Chris Brown, Under the influence - Chris Brown, Drive You Insane - Daniel Di Angelo, Talk Dirty - Daniel Di Angelo, So It Goes - Taylor Swift, Cinnamon Girl - Lana Del Rey.
RUBY'S NOTE: there are still flaws here and there, so if you need any clarification from me due to how poorly i executed the plot and etc, you may do so! do pardon how lengthy it is! also, it turns out smuts are actually not my expertise (i struggled sm) :skull face:
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The radiance deriving from the moonlight casts a gentle glow in the room, allowing him to gaze upon the beautiful serenity on your face as he remains stationary by the window sill with his folded arms across his chest, ostensibly posing as a bodyguard to obviate any danger from reaching you.
Danger? The lovely irony elicits a lowly scoff from him, yet the corner of his lips curves upward into a smirk. Indeed, it is lovely, because there is a potential danger at this very moment that could inflict harm on you as you have fallen into the realm of dreams, rendering you wholly vulnerable and defenceless.
The embodiment of danger ─ Lee Heeseung.
Fortunately for you, Heeseung has no intention of harming you, not that he ever had. A single movement from you as you stir lightly in your slumber captures his keen eyes, watching the steady rise and fall of your chest before re-centering his attention on your angelic face. 
Without a doubt, your divine beauty captivated his attention from the moment he saw you entering the auditorium on your first day as a freshman, and still do ─ your naturally long dark lashes fluttering with your eyes gleaming genuine interest whenever your attention is fixed on something or someone, the dimples on your cheeks whenever you smile, your luscious pink lips that entice him to kiss you, your soft wavy hair that is currently spread out in tendrils-like, and just every inch and part of your contour is perfect to him.
You are perfect in his eyes. So, so perfect, and so his…
In the beginning, it started out as an infatuation, completely ensnared by your captivating beauty and the regal ambience you exuded in the way you carried yourself with grace, while his eyes would follow you wherever you were in his range. He even vividly memorised your habits, which he found endearing, like how you would fiddle with the silver cross and your bottom lip tucked between your teeth whenever you grew nervous or simply worried over your results, and nevertheless, he knew that you would always excel.
You are the epitome of beauty with a brain, as you truly are. Oh, you are unequivocally his dream woman.
Unlike his peers, Heeseung has never found any issue with your reputation as Crestview Meadow’s good girl or renowned for being faithful and dutiful to your religion. Rather, he loves the purity glowing in the way you smile, your sparkling eyes, your infectious laughter, your gentle touch, and just anything you do.
From there, the infatuation evolved into something so profound that he knew he couldn’t afford to let you go, even after graduating from university. He yearns for his presence to be permanently etched in your life. He is not exaggerating when he says that all hell will break loose if he ever loses you. No, he feels that he might actually die at the grim possibility of losing you.
To this day, it astounds him that he manages to abstain from pursuing you first after all these years of his yearning and lust for you, especially when the light in you is a constant magnetic allure to his darkness. Even now, a gravitational pull seems to draw him closer and closer to you until he finally halts his steps, looming over you next to the bed.
Heeseung crouches down on one knee, his eyes remaining fixated on your serene countenance as he grabs strands of your hair that feel soft on his callous hand. His touch is one of reverence as he raises your strands in his possession to his nose, inbreathing the fragrance of your shampoo with his eyes fluttering close.
Even your scent is enough to tame his raging tenebrosity. Bringing your soft strands to his lips as he kisses them daintily, a distinct recollection comes to light ─ one that has the darkness perilously lurking in the trenches of his wreckage mind.
“Have you called for me, father?”
Heeseung has his hands clasped behind his back while his cold countenance is impassive and his stance embodies that of a soldier ready to serve, standing across from his father, who remains seated in his ebony swivel chair.
“Yes.” The elder ceases his engrossment in the paperwork before he finally diverts his attention to his youngest son, meeting Heeseung’s steely eyes that reflect the same as his. “I heard that Devil’s Night will commence in a few days' time. How is the preparation coming along?”
“Everything is going smoothly. You don’t have to concern yourself with anything regarding Devil’s Night, father.” A certain edge in Heeseung’s tone is not dismissed by the elder, amplifying the palpable tension between them. “As for the roadblocks, we might have to expand─”
“Son.” The sheer authority of a single interruption is enough to silence Heeseung, especially when he notices his father’s grim countenance. “The sole reason I called you here is because of Y/N Kang.”
Heeseung’s eyebrows arch inquisitively while his frown deepens at the fact that his father knows of your existence. “How do you know her?”
“It doesn’t matter how I know her.” His father dodges the question deftly, overshadowed by the austerity in his manner. “Under no circumstances should you approach the girl, let alone foist terror on her.”
Heeseung blinks his eyes, clearly taken aback by the elder’s fierce conviction. “All this time, you have never interfered in any of my business, so why now?”
Heeseung’s father heaves a sigh as he rubs his temple. “Son─”
“For that matter, you’ve never cared enough about me. I don’t see why it is necessary for you to involve yourself in whatever I do now.” Heeseung cuts him off sharply before he scoffs out a smirk, staring at him condescendingly. “And now that you’ve mentioned Y/N Kang, perhaps I should invite her to Devil’s Night and include her in the hunt.”
“Lee Heeseung!” The resounding thud due to both palms on the surface of the mahogany table as well as the patent wrath emanating from the elder doesn’t deter Heeseung the slightest, but rather, this only fuels Heeseung’s resolution to go against his father’s audacious warning.
“Do enlighten me, father.” Mockery drips from Heeseung’s tone. “What relations do you have with Y/N? And why her out of all people?”
The fleeting sentiment flickers in his father’s eyes are intelligible, to which Heeseung’s piqued curiosity reaches its peak. Why in the world would his father bear such guilt?
“She’s the daughter of─” His father pauses, and the hesitation in his silence is crystal clear. He shakes his head before allowing the austerity to patch up on his countenance. “This is a direct order, not only as your father but as the chief, that under no circumstances should you prey on Y/N Kang. She is better off without you having to impose your corruption on her.”
“Oh, but on the contrary, I will.” Heeseung unfurls a cynical smile on his lips, his tone holding dark promises that not even his father can decipher the conniving schemes he may or may not possibly have formulated in his complex mind. “Even if you hadn’t mentioned her, it wouldn’t change the fact that she would eventually be preyed on by us. Oh, and father?”
Heeseung looms ominously over his father’s seated figure, his dark gaze penetrating into the elder’s, allowing him to catch a glimpse of unadulterated malignance in his eyes. “I’ll turn a blind eye to your audacity in ordering me to stay away from my beloved, since after all, you’re my father.”
“Lee Heeseung─”
“Y/N Kang belongs to me.” Heeseung cuts him off with a growl. “She will be mine, one way or another, and it would be wise for you to avoid meddling with my business, especially involving my beloved.”
“Son, listen to me.” Even as his father uses his authoritarian tone, it isn’t enough to dissuade Heeseung as the latter begins to make his departure from his father’s office, leaving the elder to resort to an option that is rather perilous. “Fine. Do you really want to know the reason? It’s because I’d hate for Y/N to end up like that poor girl.”
Just as the elder expected, Heeseung comes to an abrupt halt, his body flinches visibly as though a trigger button has set off within him. “What?” His tone denotes a warning, akin to a ticking bomb.
His father heaves a deep sigh as he rises from his seat. “This is the exact same pattern as it was before. Did you or did you not develop an obsession for the girl just as you do now with Y/N? Feel free to prove me wrong.”
Heeseung curls his hand into a fist while the other clutches the handle in a deadly grip. “You’re wrong, father.”
“Am I, really? As far as I’m aware, things won’t ever bode well for anyone closely associated with you and your friends.”
“Shut up.” Heeseung snarls coldly, the anger is brimming in his veins. “You know nothing.”
But the elder continues, “Can’t you see, son? For as long as you remain unchanged with your corruptive tendencies, you destroy everything you touch! Just look at what happened three years ag─”
In a blink of an eye, Heeseung swiftly throws the melee knife as it cuts through the air sharply, gusting past his father’s head and impaling on the bulletin board behind the elder.
Despite his father having expected such unpredictable stunts from his son, his heart hammers violently against his chest. If Heeseung had missed, the elder would have probably lost an eye.
“You know better than to bring that up.” Heeseung’s dark eyes are void of any forbearance, while his tone is eerily calm. His eyes flicker at his melee knife before returning to his father’s unwavering gaze, and a smirk tugs at his lips. “And next time, I won’t miss it.”
Even the mere thought of his father is enough to kindle his burning resentment towards him. Oh, Heeseung loathes his father for as long as he can remember.
Despite the fact that his father has an esteemed reputation as the Chief of Seoul Metropolitan Police Agency, almost everyone is fearful of him purely out of reverence, well, except Heeseung anyway.
To Heeseung, he sees his father as nothing more than a pathetic excuse of a husband to his wife. Correction: ex-wife, aka Heeseung’s biological mother. His parents divorced and went their separate ways when he was twelve, and his older brothers were sixteen. His father won custody over them, resulting in his mother leaving them behind. At that point in time, Heeseung didn’t understand the rationale behind their divorce since his parents used to be a loving couple, and so he began to develop such abhorrence for his father, especially when the elder decided to marry someone new a few months later.
Most importantly, Heeseung loathes that his father’s morality and advocacy do nothing to change the fact that the elder remains a hypocrite after the discovery Heeseung uncovered. It is also the exact reason why he has every intention of obscuring the truth from you, because the said discovery obliquely involves you.
A single movement from you pulls him out of his rumination, prompting his eyes to settle on your figure as you stir in your slumber. He holds your strands delicately, inbreathing your fragrance, which has been imprinted on his mind, once more before he decides to move away from you.
The longer your vulnerability remains at his disposal, the harder it is for him to defy his depravity.
As Heeseung saunters towards the ajar door, it is slowly being pushed open, revealing Jay. The latter doesn’t look entirely surprised at Heeseung’s presence in his room, as his face is devoid of emotion.
When their eyes meet, there is an unspoken understanding between them. Giving Heeseung a firm head nod, Jay proceeds to amble past him as he heads towards you.
“Jay?” Your slumberous voice prompts Heeseung to look over his shoulder, watching as Jay adjusts himself to settle next to you while your hand sluggishly reaches out for Jay.
“I’m here, baby.” Jay whispers affectionately as he grabs your hand.
Heeseung silently watches the two of you, seeing how adorably whiny you are amidst your somnolence, with your limbs now tangled with his as Jay cradles you close to his chest.
Oddly enough, Heeseung doesn’t harbour any raging jealousy or resentment towards his best friends, whom you have grown unmistakably attached to. Sure, in the very beginning, he utterly despised every stare at you from the other guys and bore murderous thoughts of gauging out their eyeballs, but now, when it comes to his best friends, he doesn’t feel as deeply murderous.
Perhaps it has to do with the fact that they have successfully ensnared you with their distinctive dark allures, tainting you with their corruption, as everything is going according to how he envisioned it, which he is pleased with.
All that is left is the very devil, as it remains in its slumber, who has long since waited for you.
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The monotony of keyboards collectively typing away is teeming in the cold, sterile examination hall, with each journalism major in their assigned seats that are meticulously arrayed. Minutes have stretched into an hour or so, and thus, your immersion begins to wane as your mind drifts off to the thought of the very three men whom you are undoubtedly head over heels for.
Just yesterday, Sunghoon and Jake managed to spend time together with you, almost involving something rather blasphemous, until Jay decided to steal you away from them, which resulted in their squabbling. Now, you wonder if there will ever be a moment where they will set aside their petty dispute over who gets to have you in his possession before the others get their turn.
Your eyes begin to subconsciously wander to your fellow peers across the hall before they stop at Wonyoung and Winter, who are seated in the same row from across the hall. Instinctively, the familiar sadness coils around your heart before a stab of regret comes.
Although it has only been a few days since you last spoke, it feels as though it’s been one miserable year instead. A part of you still harbours resentment for their hypocrisy, but the sensible part of you yearns for your best friends.
You know for yourself that your close association with the leaders is the reason why your best friends have begun hating you, but perhaps there are some truths in their words. You have changed, and you admit that at times you don't even recognise yourself. So how dare you even bear a single yearning thought about the ones who only wanted the best for you?
You shake your head before deciding to direct your focus on finishing off the last paragraph, but your eyes betray your focal point as they sweep over to the guy adorned in a familiar black cap, and to make it worse, he’s seated across from you.
The only guy who has ever been academically on par with you consistently throughout your university years, and the one who daunts you the most, is none other than Lee Heeseung.
You should really look away before he catches you overtly staring at his side profile, but how can you not? Especially when the bill shadowing his striking features does nothing to veil his handsomeness.
Your eyes begin to trace the outline of his features, admiring his perfectly chiselled nose bridge, his dark lashes, his lips, whose bottom lip is adorned with a metal lip ring, silver studs and drop earrings adorning his earlobes, and the black ink tattooed in his skin at the side of his neck with an interesting design of an intricate chipped sword.
Heat creeps up from your neck to your ears. He is undeniably a sinful sight for you to behold.
It appears that he must have felt the intensity of your gaze on him as he turns his head only to lock your eyes with his, and that is also when realisation hits you like a brick of the very reason why you have always felt perturbed around him.
The intensity of his dark eyes alone is enough to knock the breath out of you. You want to look away, but it is as if his allure manages to paralyse you. Your eyes flicker down at a movement of his lips, unfurling a soft smirk, and your heart does a tiny leap.
Damn it. That’s the thing about Heeseung ─ even his bare minimum manages to have an impact on you. Despite his notorious reputation, his dark yet mystifying allure always seems to draw people in, and as much as you hate to admit it, he draws you in just the same, like a moth to a flame.
However, unlike the others, you refused to indulge your inquisitiveness and chose the safest route, which involved keeping your distance from Heeseung. That is, until recently. You recall his touch on your skin and how he whispered in your ear the other day when you were seeking Jay. You shudder lightly. Everything about him screams devilish.
For a moment there, you knew that you wanted him to touch you in the way his best friends do, despite the danger beneath his touch.
You force yourself to break eye contact with him and finally focus on typing away your last paragraph before submitting your exam paper online. Just like some of your fellow peers, you begin packing your belongings into your bag, trying your utmost to ignore Heeseung’s invasive gaze on your figure that continues to unnerve you.
In your peripheral vision, you see him standing up as he too has submitted his, and so your every movement becomes rapid before you finally navigate your way to the exit, walking past other students who are probably finding your briskness odd.
You are too inattentive to your surroundings to even feel self-conscious of the stares you are getting, only recalling Heeseung’s predatory gaze earlier, and just the thought of Heeseung alone manages to plague your cluttered mind.
It’s not just his predatory gaze, but it’s the fact that you feel as though he is able to read through you and invade every corner of your mind, uncovering any secrets you have and unravelling them one by one.
You have long since admitted that Lee Heeseung, the son of the esteemed Chief of Seoul Metropolitan Police Agency, terrifies you despite the fact that his handsomeness often enthrals you, especially after putting the final piece of the puzzle that he is indeed one of your predators on Devil’s Night. White. 
Although you have every intention of avoiding being closely associated with Heeseung, you know that it is impossible, especially when he lives in the same palace as the others. Plus, you have a gut-twisting feeling that he’ll begin his approach just as his best friends did.
Besides, your very first mistake was attending Devil’s Night, where you finally interacted with the mask version of him. Your second mistake was allowing him to touch you and invade your personal space.
You hope you’ll be proven wrong and that you’re just being delusional to think he would ever waste his time on you. You already have too much on your plate ─ the unresolved issue with your parents and your best friends, your undeclared relationship status with the three guys, and the anonymous person….
‘Ding!’
You whip out your phone from your pocket, and a frown automatically pulls at your lips as you begin to read his text. Just when you thought he wouldn’t send you anymore cryptic messages.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: Congratulations on finishing your last exam. Any plans for vacation?
A scoff falls past your lips. Unbelievable. Not only did his last text still give you the creeps, but the audacity of him to act as if nothing happened. Each tap on your phone screen gets progressively more aggressive as you type out your response, expressing your irritation for him.
Y/N: I didn’t realise you could start casually texting me as if you were my friend. If you still don’t get the hint, leave me alone, Heeseung.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: Still insisting that I’m Heeseung?
Y/N: Unless you prove to me that you’re not him, then yes. 
UNKNOWN NUMBER: I told you before that I posed no threat to you.
Y/N: Then what are you? Are you a friend or a foe?
UNKNOWN NUMBER: I can be your friend only if you choose to be cooperative with me. Besides, don’t you need one? Considering your friends have already abandoned you.
Your nose flares slightly, angered by the fact that he hits your sore spot.
Y/N: I don’t need you as my friend.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: But you do need me, especially when it concerns your safety.
Just before you have the intention to block him, you halt, now standing in the busy forum with bustling students that fade into insignificance as his words strike a chord in you.
Y/N: My safety? Why do you care so much about me?
UNKNOWN NUMBER: Like I said, before, you’re a nice girl, and I don’t want to see you get hurt.
You frown, confusion plastered on your face as you slowly amble forward. You don’t recall him telling you that.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: Plus, I don’t want history to repeat itself.
Y/N: What kind of history?
UNKNOWN NUMBER: You don’t know? Ah, right. Everything was swept under the rug.
Y/N: Just get straight to the point or I’ll block you for real.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: For now, you only need to know that they’re not good people. 
Y/N: And you are? 
UNKNOWN NUMBER: I never said anything about me being good, but one thing is for sure is that I’m not the bad guy in your story, sweetheart.
Y/N: I’m getting really annoyed at you. You keep beating around the bush and playing with words, but I still don’t feel at ease despite your declaration.
You wait for his response, but nothing happens. You grit your teeth in frustration, desperate for answers to allay your inner turmoil.
Y/N: Stop messing with my sanity
But before you can press send, you bump into someone’s shoulder, causing an imbalance for you as you almost fall back if it weren’t for reflexive hands steadying you.
There is a flicker of surprise in your eye as you stare at him while your cheeks flush pink. “Beomgyu.”
Beomgyu eyes you concernedly, still holding you by the waist. “Are you alright? I’m sorry for bumping into you.”
“No, it was my fault.” You exhale, chuckling nervously as you regain composure.
Beomgyu seems to study your expression while you begin to feel self-conscious of his invasive eyes, reminding you of Heeseung earlier. “Something on your mind? You were looking down at your phone the whole time.”
Your eyebrow arches inquisitively. “Were you watching me?”
Something so cryptic flickers in his eyes fleetingly before a soft smile forms on his charming countenance. “No. I just have quick observational skills.” He merely jests.
“Oh,” Even conversing with Beomgyu does nothing to pull you out of your distraught thoughts. You offer him a nimble smile. “Sorry about that. I have to go.”
“Wait.” Beomgyu’s hand latches around your wrist just as you brush past him. When you look at him, he appears rather bashful. “Since exam season is over, do you have anything in your schedule?”
“Maybe.” You answer slowly, uncertain if you actually do have plans other than rotting in your bed. “Why?”
“Well, the guys and I will be going for a two day, one night staycation at the water play park near the resort of Yeonjun’s parents’ business tomorrow.” Beomgyu looks hopeful, and you can almost imagine his ears perking up in a puppy-like way. “Do you want to join us?”
“Oh, that’s so thoughtful of you.” Nervousness seeps through your chuckles. “But I’m not sure─”
“She’s not available.” A familiar voice startles you, followed by his arm wrapping around your shoulder, which has you turning your head and staring at him in disbelief while he remains casual about it as he maintains eye contact with Beomgyu. “She’ll be with me for the next few days or so.”
What?! You are certain he is able to hear your disbelieving scream echoing in your head as your eyes narrow at the smirk playing on his lips.
Unbeknownst to you, Beomgyu tucks his clenched fist into his pocket while adorning an amiable grin at his close friend. “Ah, that’s too bad, then. I would have invited you and the others to join us too, Heeseung.”
“Yeah, sorry about that.” If anything, Heeseung is most definitely not apologetic in his nonchalance.
Beomgyu offers the two of you a tight smile. “Have fun, you two. Gotta enjoy our deserving vacation.”
Heeseung reciprocates with a cold smirk. “Damn right, we do.”
“Wait─” But your voice is unheard as Heeseung pulls you with him, brushing past Beomgyu. The space between you and Heeseung is practically nonexistent, allowing you to get a whiff of his strong cologne.
First of all, you are greatly annoyed by Heeseung’s brazen intervention. Second of all, he smells so good that you want to bask in his scent. Third of all, what the hell just happened?
“Heeseung.” You try to get his attention, but the guy seems persistent in dragging you with him until you finally gain full awareness of your surroundings, noticing that you’re in the campus parking lot.
The familiar sight of his sleek black Audi greets you as he slowly releases you from his possession. Before you can finally say your piece, his gesture of opening the passenger door for you renders you flabbergasted, despite the confusion lingering in your mind.
You blink your eyes at him while his face is devoid of emotion. “Get in.”
He sounds nothing like how he conversed with Beomgyu earlier. His voice is a low rumble that sends involuntary shivers down your spine. His tone indicates no objections from you. His penetrating dark eyes into yours is a challenge for you if you dare to defy him.
Refusing to show him that you are greatly intimidated by him, your titled chin is a hint of defiance as you maintain eye contact with him, but even you know for yourself that your shaky pupils are out of fear for the glowering male.
“No.”
“No?” Heeseung cocks an eyebrow at you, finding your resistance oddly adorable. He scoffs out a chuckle, his lips upturning a smirk, while his tongue glides across his bottom lip as he moves closer to you. “I wasn’t asking, sweetheart.”
You try your utmost not to falter at the close proximity between your faces while the tip of his hat nearly hovers over your head with how he is leaning down to you. The danger lurking in his eyes sends your heart palpating. But you remain adamant. “And why should I listen to you?” 
“Because I said so.” Heeseung says so softly, a deception you recognise. The smirk remains on his lips. “Come on, now. Don’t disappoint me. You’re a good girl, aren’t you?”
The moment his thumb touches your bottom lip, it feels like you have lost the ability to speak. With his dark eyes pinning yours, he caresses your lip sensually while your head is spinning due to the effect he has on you. 
“Get inside the car now, sweetheart.” 
This time, you decide to heed his words, listening to your better instinct. Settling in the passenger seat awkwardly, you watch as he closes the door and proceeds to switch on the ignition.
With both hands on the leathered steering wheel, he takes a quick glance at you, noticing your discomfort in the stiffness of your body language while you gaze at the window before he refocuses on driving out of the campus parking lot.
“Relax. It’s not like I’m driving you to your doom.” His lighthearted comment does nothing to alleviate the taut tension in your shoulders. “Also, you should keep your distance from Beomgyu.”
A disbelieving scoff leaves your lips as you finally direct your focus on him. “And why should I listen to you?”
Heeseung’s demeanour remains indifferent, his eyes not meeting yours. “Trust me, it’s for your own good.”
“You don’t know what’s good for me.” You retort rather haughtily, but the second his dark eyes meet yours fleeting as the vehicle comes to a stop, you deflate, fiddling mindlessly with your fingers as your hands are resting on your lap. “Sorry.”
You inwardly wince at your feeble apology when you know that you have nothing to apologise for, yet you did anyway. You lower your gaze. “You said to trust you, but I don’t trust you in the slightest, Heeseung. For that matter, we’re not even friends.”
“You’re right. We’re not friends.” His fingers grip your chin firmly, titling your head up. A soft smile unfurls on his lips. “Because you’re more than that to me.”
“What do you mean?” You ask quietly, confusion wrapping around your head, yet at the same time, you kind of have a sense of what he meant. A part of you is just afraid to acknowledge it, knowing that if you do, you’ll most likely be inclined to succumb to his dark magnetic allure.
Heeseung simply disregards your question as he redirects his attention on the road, now driving on the familiar route to your dormitory. As much as you want him to elaborate himself, you decide to save your energy, resorting to silence and looking forward to keeping your distance from him.
Finally arriving at the entrance point, you unbuckle your seatbelt, eager to flee from him, but as you attempt to open the door, it remains locked. You shoot him a perplexing stare. “Heeseung.”
“I won’t unlock it unless you have to give me your word that you’ll keep your distance from Beomgyu first.” Heeseung admonishes, his tone indicating no room for refusal.
“But why?” You press, unconcealing your frustration. “He has been nothing but nice to me. What do you even have against him? I thought he’s your close friend.”
The sentiments glinting in his eyes are indecipherable, leaving you to wonder about the complexity of his mind. “He’s not someone you should be around with every so often.” He states calmly.
“Oh, and you are?” You ask sardonically, mustering a smile that displays your sarcasm. “Seriously, Heeseung, I don’t know what makes you think that I would listen to you, but if this is you being concerned for me, don’t be. We don’t even have any relation to each other. So you can drop this pretence of yours, because I’m not about to fall for whatever trap you set up.”
Cold silence shrouds both of you as you remain in a heated staring contest with him before you spot a movement, though subtle. Just the slightest movement of his jaw clenching is what it takes for you to discern his annoyance for you before trailing your eyes back to his dark ones. You swallow harshly, moistening your dry throat.
“Heeseung─” 
“You should go.” 
The sound of the door unlocking startles you. You look at him, noticing him turning his head away from you. Oddly, guilt strings in your heart at the probability of hurting Heeseung with your words.
“Fine, I’ll keep my distance from Beomgyu.” You find yourself acquiescing, and you genuinely have no idea why, but maybe you’d hate for Heeseung to remain disappointed in you. Upon receiving no response from him, you huff pettily. “Thanks for the ride, anyway.” You mutter dryly as you open the door.
Just as your foot steps out of the car, his voice pulls you back. “You should stay over at the palace since we’re on a long break before graduation. Plus, I’m sure the guys will be thrilled to have you there.”
You look over your shoulder, a mask of indifference on his face. “Can I, really?”
Heeseung hums lazily, the corner of his lips tipping up a smirk. “Sweetheart, you are more than welcome. Besides, the closer you are to us, the better.”
Something stirs in your tummy. “I’ll think about it.”
“Please do, and I hope you’ll make your decision soon.” Heeseung takes you by surprise as he grabs your hand tenderly and raises it up to plant a gentle kiss on your knuckle, all the while maintaining eye contact with you. “Even better if you decide to show up by the entrance gate tonight.”
“Hee...” His name is uttered in a whisper as you watch him press a kiss on your fingertip. You were right. His pink lips feel so soft.
“I’m sure you must’ve felt so lonely in your dorm.” Heeseung states knowingly, still holding your hand tenderly. As he places one last yet sensual kiss on your palm, your heart flutters at his darkened eyes pinning yours and the smirk curving at his lips. “At the palace, you won’t ever have to feel so alone, because you have us to give you whatever you need, pretty girl.”
Any negative thoughts you have about Heeseung instantly dissipate as you succumb to his magnetic allure. Disappointment seeps through you at the loss of his touch. 
“Go on, pretty.” If you told your freshman self that in a few years, your rival would call you pretty, she wouldn’t believe it.
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Heeseung was right. Ever since your association with the leaders has been divulged, it ensued to sever your friendship with your friends, including the ones whom you thought would be okay with the alteration in you, and thus, you began to feel a profound sense of loneliness.
Initially, you didn’t want to admit that you had missed your girl companionships, but what Heeseung said to you earlier struck a chord in you. Damn right, you feel lonely. How could you not be when your roommates often had the other girls over for dinner or simply fun hangouts? Or when your roommates were huddled on the couch as they watched some dramas. You used to do all of that with them, minus the drinking session.
Of course, you could’ve joined them and pushed your ego aside, but what held you back was the not-so-discreet stares and even glares from the girls whenever you went out of your room to grab something from the fridge or simply the audacious sight of you in their vision.
Just like earlier, when Karina, Yunjin, and Wonyoung were gathered by the kitchen island, laughter filling the air promptly ceased and hostility returned at the sight of you walking past them.
Did it hurt? Yeah, it did, but your face often remained devoid of emotions, contradicting the sentimentality that ached in your heart. Perhaps what hurts you the most is the fact that they will always be fine with or without you. Heck, they even look happier now that you’re out of the picture.
Hence, it is exactly why the firm decision you made leads you to the very palace you have grown rather fondly attached to, despite the traumatic memories of Devil’s Night that are embedded in your mind.
You press on the button cemented on the veneered wall next to the grand golden gates for the second time before looking up at the outdoor CCTV camera and raising your hand to give it an awkward wave while a sheepish smile forms on your lips.
Nevermind the fact that you look like an idiot at the moment. You hope that at least someone is inspecting through this CCTV camera since your impatience denotes your avidity for seeing the three men who now occupy your mind and heart.
Your lips flatten as the gate remains unopened, but before you can press the button for the third time, your ears perk up at the sound of blaring exhausts emanating from motorbikes, prompting you to turn around just to see three bikers approaching the gate.
Naturally, you assume that they’re Jay, Jake, and Sunghoon, but your excitement dwindles as soon as you are able to distinguish their figures while one of them pushes up his visor. Your shoulders go slouched, crestfallen.
“Why the long face, darling?” Sunoo’s fox-like eyes meet yours, his tone a teasing taunt. “Disappointed that we’re not the ones you thought we were?”
You shift uncomfortably as their attention is fixed on you. Deciding to be courteous, you offer Sunoo a small yet wry smile in response.
“What are you doing here?” Riki’s deep voice is conspicuous despite the unremitting blaring of their engine’s exhaust.
After a brief silence, you begin to speak up. A tinge of nervousness is evident in your tone. “Heeseung said I was welcome to stay over, so here I am.” You smile awkwardly, uncertain of the expression plastered on their faces due to their helmets.
Jungwon pushes his visor up, allowing you to meet his striking feline-like eyes. “Heeseung, huh?” In the way he speaks, you can discern his melding of curiosity and mischief.
“Heeseung and the others are not back yet.” Sunoo informs you as he releases his grip from the clutches to adjust his fingerless black gloves, leaning back slightly. “You should’ve called and informed them of your coming here.”
“I wanted it to be a surprise.” You mumble as your lips go pouty, something rather habitual whenever you feel sulky. You become startled at the tolling sound of the gates opening.
“Come on, then.” Jungwon makes a gesture, beckoning you over to him. “You’re lucky we have authorisation access to enter the palace.”
Not too long later, you find yourself seated on the motorbike behind Jungwon, one hand gripping Jungwon’s broad shoulders for support while the other clutching the strap of your shoulder bag as he drives alongside Sunoo and Riki to the route of the massive garage that eventually greets your vision.
"So, were you guys with them?” You break the ice as soon as you dismount from Jungwon’s motorbike.
“Kind of.” Jungwon answers your question as he removes his helmet, whereas Riki, being the usual nonchalant he is, decides to head inside first. “We were just riding around town with them before they headed off somewhere.”
“Why? Worried that they’re with other girls?” Sunoo shoots you a lopsided grin, and his eyes twinkle teasingly at your sour expression. “I’m kidding. They only have eyes for you, darling.”
You huff annoyedly at him before returning your attention to Jungwon, whom you find more tolerable than the blond-haired one. “So what are you guys doing here? I know for a fact that you don’t live here.”
“Riki left something of his, but we also want to hang out here for a bit before the Hyungs decide to kick us out.” There is a knowing glint in Jungwon’s eye. “Especially since you’re here.”
Sunoo saunters forward and slings his arm around Jungwon’s neck. “It looks like you’ll be staying here overnight.” Sunoo points out with a pout on his lips, noticing your shoulder bag. “You’re privileged, you know? The fact that you have your very own personalised room here─”
“Wait, my own room? Here?” You cut him off, a genuine surprise tinges in your tone.
“You don’t know?” Sunoo raises an inquisitive eyebrow at you while a frown tugs at his lips. “All the while you’ve been here, they’ve never shown you to your room?”
“No.” You answer slowly, your cheeks warming as you avoid their gaze. “But why? I didn’t think I needed one since I was always in either of their rooms.”
“Well, now that you know, you should really count yourself lucky.” Jungwon scoffs out a smirk, shaking his head. “I’ve never seen Jay so fucking smitten over a girl before, until you.”
“Come on! I’ll show you to your room.” Sunoo offers his arm to you, and despite him always putting you off, you don’t hesitate to hook your arm around his bicep before he proceeds to guide you, with Jungwon trailing behind.
“I’m just going to ignore the fact that you got to see my room before I did.” You shoot him a playful scowl, to which he reciprocates with his tongue sticking out to you before he takes you by surprise as he maintains the conversation flowing despite the occasional banter bounces off between the two of you.
All the while, Jungwon remains totally silent behind you as you ascend the stairs, and you have grown comfortable with your arm around Sunoo’s. Reaching the second floor, you get startled at the sight of Riki in a newly designed purple mask.
Sunoo, who feels your body jolting in surprise, narrows his eyes at the tall male. “Not the right time to scare her, Riks.”
“I wasn’t.” Riki tilts his head, confusion lacing his tone. He points his index finger at his face. “Check it out. My new mask for the next Halloween season.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Sunoo rolls his eyes uninterestedly at him before giving you a lopsided smile and changing his tone. “Your room’s one level away. Let’s go, darling.”
“Jungwon.” Riki calls out for him, prompting the latter to head over to him while Sunoo continues to guide you.
If there is one thing about Sunoo, it is that he is chattier than you expect him to be. Even when you’re already out of capacity to keep up with his ongoing chatter, he manages to be entertained by your silence.
“Here we are.” Sunoo chirps as both of you are standing in front of a cream-coated door.
Your loosening arm around his eventually falls to your side while you stare at the door with incredulity, doubts lingering in your mind. “Are you sure this is not a prank?”
“Trust me, darling, if I wanted to prank you, I would’ve already pushed you off into a pool filled with piranhas.”
You gasp at him, your eyes widening in horror, whereas Sunoo seems so laid-back, with a grin adorning his face. “I would hardly call that a prank.”
“I’m kidding. I wouldn’t dare prank you that involves your safety, or else they’ll have my head.” Sunoo chuckles, his body leaning towards you to boop your nose with his finger. “Do make yourself comfortable. If you need us, we’ll be somewhere at the arcade or the bar for the next hour, most probably.”
Sunoo brushes past you, leaving you to fight against your doubt momentarily before you heave a sigh and decide to enter the room that you can now call yours. As soon as you step in and switch on the light, a soft gasp leaves your lips while your eyes twinkle in wonderment at the lovely sight of your room. 
The white-painted wall makes the room look rather spacious than it already is. A queen-sized bed presses up against the wall with an interesting white shell-designed headboard, and the sheets are in pastel pink. You can’t help but release soft chuckles, spotting Sanrio soft toys arrayed horizontally on the bed.
You continue to admire every detail of the room as you saunter forward. By the window sill, there is ample space for three people to sit on top of the cushion. There is also a walk-in closet room, to which you keenly head inside and switch on the light, only to be greatly shocked at the fact that the wardrobes have already been supplied with a variety of clothes and even shoes and some high heels on each shelf.
All the while, you are rendered speechless as you exit the closet room and move over to the vanity desk, pulling one of the drawers filled with familiar cosmetic products that have been arranged rather meticulously, to which you smile softly as you have a sense of Jay’s touch on them.
“So I take it that you like your room, then?”
Your heart nearly lurches in your chest at the sound of his voice, prompting you to turn around and see him by the doorway with his arms folded across his chest as he leans sideways against the frame.
Your eyes rake all over his appearance, while heat creeps up on your cheeks as you do so. His magenta-red-dyed hair looks dishevelled, enticing you to adjust it. The black leather jacket hugs his lean physique perfectly, as it looks taut, and you recall that pool party where you finally saw the full view of his bare upper body.
“Heeseung.” You utter his name breathlessly, your cheeks remain blushing upon being aware that you were blatantly checking him out, and to make it worse, he notices it too, as evident in the way he smirks at you. “I’m sorry for entering without permission, but Sunoo─”
“Don’t apologise. This is your room, after all.” Heeseung cuts you off firmly, but a tinge of softness is apparent in his tone. As he ambles towards you, his eyes remain intently fixed on you, making you feel self-conscious about the way you look. “It’s not much, but I do hope you like it.”
“Not much? Heeseung, giving me a room of my own in this palace is already generous enough of you guys.” The earnest gratitude in your tone sends a wave of assurance to his nerves, despite his coolly collected demeanour. Your eyebrows are softly knit together in perplexity. “But why? And whose idea was it?”
“It was mine, and the other guys were more than on board with it.” Heeseung stops in front of you with very little distance, and instead of recoiling due to the intimidation emanating from him, you remain rooted to your spot while your eye contact with him persists.
“Really?” You feel something flutter in your heart as you look at the man in front of you in a different light.
Heeseung melodious soft chuckles only seem to intensify that flutter. “You should’ve seen them on the same day I brought up the idea of you having your own room in the palace. They bought everything and anything they could recall about you and your likes.”
“I can see that.” Your eyes form the shape of a crescent as you join him, and your chuckles bring a pleased smile from him. “But Heeseung, you really didn’t have to. I’m sure it must’ve been hard work to arrange and decorate the room.”
“I wanted to.” Heeseung’s gesture of brushing fallen strands of your hair and tucking them behind your ear surprises you, as does the sincerity glinting in his eyes. “I wanted you to have a personal space for whenever you needed it. Your comfort matters to me most, sweetheart.”
“Heeseung, what am I to you?” Your voice barely above a whisper, and an air of vulnerability suspends around you. “I’m confused, Hee. Before this, we weren’t friends or acquaintances, and even now, I’m not entirely sure what I am to you.”
Heeseung simply smiles at you, the sentiments swimming in his eyes are inexplicable. His fingers stroke your cheek in an affectionate gesture while his features have completely softened, stirring foreign yet familiar emotions within you. “You’re my beloved.” He whispers.
“But─” Your voice disappears momentarily when he leans down to plant a kiss on your forehead before he steps away from you.
“Good night, sweetheart.” He shoots you one last smile before turning his back on you, getting ready to leave your room.
You don’t know what takes you over, but you find yourself going after him, and once you’re nearer, your hand latches on his wrist. “Heeseung, wait.”
Heeseung turns around and raises an eyebrow at you, awaiting your words, but your next gesture startles him. Your arms slither around his neck before pulling him fully into your embrace.
“Thank you.” You say softly next to his ear while you ignore a twinge of disappointment in your chest as he doesn’t reciprocate your hug. “I appreciate everything you guys did.”
Just as you have every intention to back away, you feel his arms encasing your waist, pulling you closer until your body fully comes into contact with his. Your tummy remains in a fluttery mess, still refusing to believe that your academic rival of four years is hugging you fervently.
It takes everything for Heeseung to repress the darkness within him from engulfing you wholly, as he doesn’t wish for you to keep your distance from him, but fuck, you feel so undeniably right and perfect in his arms.
Heeseung has longed to hold you like this, and it is even better than how he imagined it. His cheek rests against the side of your head, and his nose lightly buries in your hair as he takes a whiff of your shampoo scent from your hair.
“Hee…” You utter his name softly, feeling his heartbeat against your chest that seems to be pounding erratically, and despite becoming wholly inhibited by the way he is hugging you as though he is hugging his lover, you know that you never want to let go of him.
After what feels like an eternity, Heeseung gives your crown a kiss, another gesture of his affection. “Sleep well, my beloved.”
This time, you don’t question the intimate endearment, still clinging to him as though he’s your salvation. You feel the back of his fingers caressing your head while you unfurl a soft smile on your lips, blissfully unaware of the devil you have just aroused.
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The emphatic quietude in the palace only seems to discomfort you instead of providing some sort of placidity. Having been a regular here for as long as you can recall, you have grown eminently accustomed to the sporadic racket from the boisterous knights, so the absence of their essence feels strange to you.
What is even weirder is the fact that neither Jay, Jake, nor Sunghoon are by your side and are uncharacteristically clingy to you, which brings a small frown to your lips. Earlier, after freshening yourself up, you were expecting either of them to barge into your room, but none showed up, and so you ventured your way to their rooms just to be greeted by empty rooms.
Naturally, you expected the three of them to come back with Heeseung last night, so their stark absence confused you until you decided to send Jake a text only to receive his reply, ‘We’re going to be out of town for a while. Sorry, lovely, but we hope you like your new room!’ Of course, you feel a tad sulky since you had been hoping to spend more time with them. 
Plus, you are not entirely certain if you really do get along with Heeseung. Sure, last night’s interaction with him felt awfully intimate, as did the fact that you initiated a skinship with him, but the turmoil in you persists at a single thought of the enigmatic Lee Heeseung, so what’s more to be anywhere in his vicinity?
Speaking of Heeseung, you have yet to see him anywhere, for which you are thankful. You are definitely not prepared to face him yet after what happened last night, especially the affectionate forehead kiss he gave you.
Warmth weaves across your cheeks as you recall, before you lightly pat your cheek to snap out of it and decide to resume walking down the familiar aisle of shelves with fictional books filled to the brim.
Presently, you are in the magnificent library filled with opulence and gold details embellished sublimely on every wall and turn, giving you a sense of simulation as though you are a princess wandering in your own royal library.
A faint smile touches your lips as you recall whenever Sunghoon calls you his princess while giddiness dances in your fluttery heart. It has only been a day, and yet you’re already missing Sunghoon and the others. You shake your head lightly before refocusing on reality again.
Your fingers remain mindlessly yet delicately stroking the spines of the books while your eyes are keenly surveying any book that piques your interest until they finally stop at a certain book, but it is one shelf higher.
With a determined huff, you stand on your tippy toes with your hand outstretched to reach and grab for the book, but your attempt is rather futile, and so you silently curse your height.
“I’ve been looking everywhere for you, sweetheart.”
His soft, honeyed-dripping voice sends your heart doing a little flip while you stand frozen in your spot at the close proximity between you and him, allowing you to feel the heat emanating from his body. A movement above you captures your attention, prompting you to look up at his hand, reaching out for the book that piqued your interest with such ease.
“Here.” He lowers his hand for you to grab the book, and you do so hesitantly.
You turn around with the intention to thank him, and when you do, your voice disappears briefly as you scan his appearance, particularly his hair, which has been freed from his wonted cap or even beanie. The strands look longer than you remember as the length reaches below his brows, but they do nothing to obscure the distinct darkness in his eyes.
“Thank you.” You manage to utter a feeble gratitude, smiling at him awkwardly while shifting discreetly under the weight of his dark gaze.
“Have you eaten yet?” Heeseung asks, an unmistakable tenderness in his tone sends a fluttery sensation to your heart.
“I have.” You answer, feeling a tad sheepish that you did go through their fridge without asking for permission earlier. You notice satisfaction glinting in his eye before he takes you by surprise as he gently pats you on the head. 
“Good. I’d hate for you to starve.” He mutters, and a smirk threatens to form on his lips upon seeing your cheeks getting rosier, knowing that his mere gesture has an effect on you.
“How did you know I was here?” You decide to strike up a conversation you hope is decent enough to dispel the awkwardness, but in all honesty, you can’t wait to flee from him.
“Sunghoon did tell me that if you’re not found anywhere in the palace, then you’d probably be in the library.” He divulges, giving you a soft smile that surprisingly allays your inner turmoil. “Besides, you love reading.”
You dismiss the fact that he knows about your love for books, which he must’ve known from Sunghoon as well. Silence hangs in the air painfully as you avoid his lingering gaze. “So... I'm just going to head off to read.” You tell him in a rather brusque manner before venturing your way out of the aisle to the centre of the library, where you would usually make yourself comfortable on one of the velvety couches and become engrossed in the reading.
A sense of deja vu washes over you as you settle on the velvety beige couch, bringing a small smile to your lips upon recalling Sunghoon having you perched on his lap with his arms caged around your waist and his chin rested on your shoulder as he peered at the passages you were reading.
Before you can dwell further in your yearning for any of the three, you flip open the first chapter of the book and allow yourself to fall immersive in the fictional world, or at least you tried to, because it isn’t long before the sound of footsteps from behind you serves as a distraction, prompting you to slowly look up when a shadow looms over your figure.
With your head tilted up, your eyes meet Heeseung’s amused ones as he stares down at you with a sly smirk. “Shall we finally address the elephant in the room?” It seems to you that it’s more of a rhetorical question.
“There’s nothing to address.” You clip, redirecting your attention to the book, but even you know that it is hard to focus since the man behind you remains looming ominously over you.
You hear his soft yet lethal chuckles, emerging goosebumps on your skin. “Don’t play dumb with me, pretty.” For a split second, you swear you feel his fingers ghosting the skin of your exposed bare shoulder as you are adorned in a white spaghetti strap loose dress, causing your breath to hitch in your throat.
“Hee─” The next thing you know, he snatches the book from your slack clutches, drawing a flabbergasted gasp from you, but then comes the vexation as you find yourself turning around with the intention to berate him. “That was rude, Lee Heeseung.”
Even as you stand on your knees, he still manages to tower over you. His eyes rake over your flustered countenance, greatly amused, as evident in the way his lips curve up at the fact that you resemble an angry kitten. A kitten he desires to tame and keep in his possession forever.
“Give it back.” You demand, swallowing the frightful lump in your throat at the familiar intimidation exuding from him while a deceptive smile plays on his lips.
“Now that I have your full attention, let’s start off with your avoidance.”
“My avoidance?” You scoff lightly, looking away from his steely eyes. “I wasn’t avoiding you.”
His fingers seize your chin, forcing you to look at him in the eyes while your heart goes hammering against your chest at the explicable storms brewing in his hauntingly beautiful eyes. “Have I ever mentioned to you how much I loathe liars?”
“No..?” You attempt to jerk from his touch, but he only grips your chin tighter. “H-Heeseung...”
“I’m very upset with you, pretty.” A sigh of faux dejection elicits from him. “You got me confused with your mixed signals. One moment you act all friendly, and the next, you look at me with such animosity. The thought of you hating me truly disheartens me.”
“I don’t hate─” You pause as soon as he finally releases you.
“You know, I wanted to reward you for making my best friends happier than they've ever been.” His admission kindles a burning flame of inquisitiveness within you, but you know you ought to remain silent as he continues. “I’m sure you must’ve noticed that their personalities differ from one another, but in a way, they remain kindred souls who share the same pain that stemmed from the threshold of their dysfunctional family. So happiness was a sentiment so foreign and insignificant to them, until you happened.”
“I don’t understand.” You begin to speak out after a couple beats of silence as his words sink into your brain. Your eyes follow his measured movements as he moves around you. “They share the same pain? Does that mean Jake and Sunghoon were victims of parental abuse the way Jay experienced?” 
Heeseung’s arched eyebrow denotes his surprise. “So you knew about Jay?”
You slowly nod your head despite the uncertainty. “He didn’t exactly tell me the details, but I knew enough.” A frown creases your complexion. “But Heeseung, how do you know about all of these?”
Something meaningful flickers in his eyes for a fleeting moment. “The four of us kind of grew up together since our fathers were best friends, but whatever happened behind the curtains of our lives was all divulged only between us. Plus, I saw some unpleasant sights.”
“Like?” You prod, but uneasiness spreads across your chest upon awaiting his answer.
Heeseung looks down at the book, flipping through the pages uninterestedly. “Like how Sunghoon’s father attempted to kill him by hiring a hitman three years ago.”
“What?” A disbelieving gasp leaves your gaping mouth, and when Heeseung meets your eyes, he merely smirks as he shuts the book closed with one hand.
“Of course, Sunghoon took care of the matter within a day, and on the same day, his father received a special gift from him.” Something so wicked glints in his eyes. “A gift of the hitman’s heart that Sunghoon carved it out himself.”
A part of you refuses to believe it, but you’ve already seen and known what they are capable of. Being ensnared in a whirlwind of conflict, you feel revolted at the fact that the very man who went to the extent of carving out an organ is the same man who touched, fucked, kissed, and held you in his warm embrace. The revelation also has you reflecting on the past interactions you had with Sunghoon ─ just how lucky you were that you didn’t end up dead for those moments where you dared to show your defiance to him.
“But why?” You ask, your voice shaking palpably while you attempt to conceal your fear. “Why would his own father do that? How could a father bear the thought of killing their own child?”
“It is rather complex, if I’m being honest.” Heeseung shrugs his shoulders, seeming almost nonchalant. “Out of the four of us, Sunghoon was blessed to grow up with doting parents who often showered him with love despite having other siblings compete for their affection. So the knowledge that his own father, whom he looked up to the most, loathed him to the point where he was willing to eradicate Sunghoon’s existence was more than upsetting.”
“Did─” Hesitation pulls you back, apprehensive to hear the answer. “Did Sunghoon kill his father as well?”
Heeseung merely hums, his face remains impassive. “No. Sunghoon decided that death was an easy way out for his father. He has other plans, I suppose.”
“What about Jay?” You didn’t mean to sound eager to know about their whole life story, or at least a partial part of it, but the three of them have never divulged to you anything regarding family, unlike you. “Those scars I saw and touched on his back…” Your eyebrows are softly knit together. “I couldn’t believe that a father would do that to his son.”
“Jongseong made it abundantly clear to us that his birth was unplanned. Thus, his parents grew to resent him because they never wanted a child.” Heeseung settles on the marbled-surface table directly in front of you, his eyes never leaving your curious ones. “The scars he got were from his fucked-up alcoholic father while his mother closed both her eyes to the abuse he went through, and because of them, Jongseong grew resentful and hateful, especially whenever a parental topic was brought up. You should’ve seen him before ─ he was even more vicious.”
You bring your knees close to your chest as you hug your legs. The distraught yet crestfallen look in your eyes doesn't go unnoticed by Heeseung. “So that’s why he─” You halt, pressing your lips thinly, before murmuring, “I can’t even imagine the pain he had to endure.” 
Heeseung sets the book aside on the table, a passing fleet of cognisance in his eyes. “And I’m guessing you must’ve brought up something relating to his parents before, no?”
You avert your gaze elsewhere, obscuring the scintilla of guilt in your eyes from his sight. “I can’t say that we fought, but he did blow up on me because he didn’t believe that I truly cared for him when I─” You draw in a sharp inhalation at the stinging memory before casting Heeseung a feeble smile. “Never mind. It’s all water under the bridge now.”
You expect Heeseung to press onto the matter, but the flicker of understanding in his eyes evokes an inkling in you that he must’ve known what really happened, and it makes you feel uneasy at the plausible thought that everything that happened between you and them seems to have been reported to Heeseung for some reason.
“So now that’s left is our most beloved Sim Jaeyun.” Heeseung slants his body to the back with his palms on the cold, flat surface for support, while a knowing smirk plays on his lips. “Correct me if I’m wrong, sweetheart, but he is your favourite out of them, right?”
“He’s not─” It’s as if your tongue is tied at the instant denial urges you, rendering you dubious of your unbiased sentiments centred around them. Your fingers curl, forming a fist with which you clutch the teetering truth of coequal feelings beyond platonic for the three of them. A muscle pulses in your jaw. No, you’re not one to play favourites.
With your steel-determined eyes unwaveringly meeting him, you opt to pull a reverse uno card on him as you fold your arms below your chest. “What about you, then? I’m most certain he’s your favourite.”
Inquisitivity pulls an arch at his eyebrow. “What are you implying?” His soft tone belies the cryptic danger that parallels the brewing storms in his eyes, and you know you ought to tread carefully with your next words.
“There was once when Jay and Jake fought, but Sunghoon managed to de-escalate the situation before it got worse.” You allow your limbs to let loose, your hands settling on your lap politely. The movement of your teeth biting down on the plushness of your lips captures his eyes. “Initially, I heard them arguing, and your name was mentioned. Jay then told me about Jake breaking a code, and I’m guessing it was you whom he slept with.”
All the while, your cheeks are flushed as you look everywhere except his penetrating eyes. Truth be told, you were shocked when the revelation unravelled, and a twinge of upset came. It was not that you were against the plausible thought of them being queers, but you never wanted to be a catalyst in the relationship between them, be it platonic or romantic-wise. You clutch at the hem of your dress, nervously waiting in anticipation for his next words. 
“You are right about one thing. He is my most favourite out of them, but our one-night stand was a drunken mistake.” The stark sincerity in his admission is unmistakable, prompting you to flutter your eyes at him. “It was during this period of time that he completely ghosted us. We were drunk and got caught up in a spur of the moment. Plus, he was being vulnerable even before he got drunk.” 
“It’s okay, Hee. You don’t have to explain everything to me.” You assure him with a faint smile, while the nickname that leaves your lips has an impact on him.
“But I want to.” He counters firmly, his body leaning slightly forward. “You have to know that Jaeyun and I’s relationship is nothing beyond platonic.”
“I believe you, Hee.” You feel compelled to give him any form of assurance as you offer him a small smile, and yet dubiety remains lingering in your mind. “It’s just that... I don’t want to be the kind of person who ruins the relationship you have with him, or any of them for that matter.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” His tone is filled with affection as he grabs your hand to give your knuckle a chaste kiss, causing your heart to do a little flip at the gesture. “You could never be the one who ruined the relationship between us.�� Because the ruined one in the end will be you, and you’ll come to depend on and cling to us as if we’re your salvation.
You slowly retract your hand from his touch as you clear your throat, intending to revert to the topic. “You mentioned Jaeyun ghosted you. He ghosted me too.” Your lips jut into a pout at the recollection. “Till this day, I have no idea what spurred him on. Even though he did apologise, he never really explained why he did what he did either.”
Heeseung knows this, of course, but he is not about to let it be known to you. “We wondered the same even after we reconciled, but upon some inspection, it turns out your loverboy has serious abandonment issues.” A lazy smirk touches his lips, and just as you are about to retort, he adds on, “I highly doubt that he already told you, but Jake, he’s been clinically diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. His therapy can attest to that.”
You frown as you wrap the information around your head. “So his disorder correlates to why he did what he did?” 
Heeseung sighs softly. “Look, I said all of those not as a means to justify his actions, but it’s for you to understand and know that no matter what frontage Jaeyun displays, he has a soft heart. He just needs a little loving and for the people he holds close to him to never abandon him.”
The air around you shifts drastically into something rather stifling as he leans forward while gazing deeply into your eyes, and you feel the connection between the two of you is ineffable. Your heart beats in a measured cadence that feels foreign yet familiar as he strokes your cheek tenderly.
“Can you promise me something, sweetheart?” He asks in a lulling whisper, and you find yourself getting lost in the abysmal depths of his enthralling eyes. “Promise me that you’ll stay by their side and continue to make them happy.”
“Yes.” Your voice is barely above a whisper, but the promise has plunged deep into your beating heart, firm in upholding it. “I never wanted to leave either.”
Heeseung unfurls a soft smirk on his lips upon hearing your admission, satisfied at the pellucid attachment you have to them and to him soon enough. “Such a good girllll.” He drawls, and you discern something shifting in him while your breath nearly hitches in your throat at his darkening eyes. “I want you to do something for me.”
Heeseung grabs the book and gives it to you. Confused, you decide to take it from him anyway. “What do you want me to do─”
As soon as he stands, looming over your seated figure, it feels as if you have lost the ability to speak as you tilt your head to look up at him. With a smirk on his handsome countenance, he leans down to you, one hand on the headrest behind you. “I want you to read from where you left off earlier.”
“Okay.” You acquiesce while your heart seems to gradually pound harder and harder, your eyes watching him attentively as he slowly backs away just slightly. “But why?”
He doesn’t respond, and instead, he crouches down on his knees in front of you, his hands touching your calves before moving them upwards tantalisingly slowly.
“W-What are you doing?” You stutter, a twinge of panic in your heart despite the racing anticipation that betrays your morality, or whatever is left.
Heeseung doesn’t stop, even as you squirm and attempt to push him away, earning you a disapproving tut from him. “I’m giving you your reward, sweetheart. Don’t you want that?”
“I-I─” Eventually, you relent from squirming and allow his hands to move underneath your dress with ease. “Heeseung.” You mutter his name weakly in defeat, feeling his fingers hooking around your underwear before he pulls it down until it leaves past your ankles.
Heeseung pries your legs open by force, rendering your lower region wholly exposed under the weight of his dark gaze. Effortlessly, he adjusts the position of your legs over his shoulders, leaving your legs to dangle behind him as he moves closer to you.
“Go on, pretty.” He leans down, his warm breath tickling your skin, before he places a sensual kiss on your inner thigh. “Read the book.”
You can’t seem to resist his command, and so you heed it, your trembling fingers clutching the book as you open and flip through the page that you left off. Your chest heaves up and down in anticipation as you feel his lips leaving trails of wet kisses along your inner thigh, scorching and burning.
How can you ever concentrate on reading just one paragraph when his lips feel closer and closer to the display of your bare cunt, which seems to betray your revulsion as it clenches at nothingness in anticipation?
“You’re so pretty, sweetheart.” Just as his lips come into contact with your clit, a soft gasp elicits from you while your hips buck up at the sheer sensitivity. “Ahh, pretty angel is so sensitive, isn’t she?” He coos before taking you by a delightful surprise at the sensation of his wet muscle licking a long stripe of your slit.
“Hee─” You gasp as soon as his tender administration shifts into something that is ravenous, his tongue delving into the wonder of your wet cavity so deep, and yet each thrust and lick is executed with such precision that it has you rolling your eyes to the back. “Mmhmm, S-Seungie.”
His cock twitches beneath the confines of his slacks at how adorable you sound. The moans you so desperately try to muffle with your palm only seem to fuel his raging desire for you. “Keep reading the book, sweetheart.” He nearly growls out his command, sending pleasurable vibrations through your body.
You try, you really do, but how are you supposed to focus on reading when the man below you is lapping and ravaging your cunt as though it is his last meal?
His movements are uninhibited while his grip on your thighs only seems to tighten, getting utterly drunk on your pussy as his wet muscle is fucking into you wantonly, revelling in the lewd sound eliciting from your lips. Oh, he has dreamt of this moment.
“Seungie.” You whimper, your hips bucking up at the sensation of his pointed nose rubbing against your neglected clit. The book has fallen from your grasp, prompting you to muffle the lewd sound that spills from your lips with the back of your hand while tears well in your lower lids at the sheer intensity of his tongue fucking into your already drenched cunt that hurls you at the brink of your impending orgasm.
“Mmhmm fuck,” His gravelly, husky voice as he rasps against your wet folds sends your cunt pulsating, and his nose rubbing against your clit only seems to intensify the knot in your tummy. “You’re so soaked for me, sweetheart.”
Damn right, you are, and you’re not even cumming yet, but the slicks of your arousal leaking from your cunt are unmistakable as he wholeheartedly laps up everything that is not enough for his insatiable hunger for you.
“Please.” You pant lightly, your curve arching as you throw your head to the back with moans spilling from your lips, feeling his lips enveloping your aching clit with his tongue drawing patterns on your bundle of nerves and his cold, slender fingers plunging into your sopping cunt to fuck you hard.
“What are you pleading for, pretty?” Heeseung murmurs against your skin before resuming to suck on your clit harshly, while the sound of his fingers fucking into you is obscenely wet.
“Please let me cum.” You moan out your permission while your hips move in tandem with his unforgiving fingers.
“Go on.” Heeseung permits, his fingers curling inside of you and hitting the spot that sends sparks flying in your vision.
“Seungie, I-I’m─” You gasp in between bated breaths as the knot in your tummy becomes unbearable, sending your body to writhe under him as your impending orgasm awaits its release.
“That’s it, baby. Give it to me.” His hungry gaze remains fixated on you, while his fingers fucking into you never let up. “Cum.”
At a single command, your lips part open in a silent scream, and blood rushes into your ear while white flashes in your vision as he sends you into a blissful state of euphoria, with your orgasm crashing down on you violently and your body convulsing beneath him.
“Good girl. Oh, you did so well, my beloved.” Heeseung’s warm praise has your pulsating cunt clenching around his fingers that are coated with your release, drawing a smirk on his handsome face.
You whimper at your sensitivity as he slowly withdraws his fingers from you. You watch with lidded eyes while heat creeps up on your cheeks as he inserts his drenched fingers into his mouth while maintaining eye contact with you.
Heeseung nearly moans at the taste of your nectar on his tongue, savouring it a little longer before he pulls his fingers out of his mouth. His dark eyes rake all over you, noticing how spent you looked just by a single orgasm. Although he yearns to bury his face in your sweet cunt again, he refrains from doing so, not wanting to unleash the inner part of him that is akin to a raging beast that can only be tamed by you.
The realisation of your cunt still being exhibited under his gaze as the hem of your dress is hiked up to your stomach makes you immediately regain your composure, straightening your spine before bending down to reach for your white underwear, but you become appalled when Heeseung seizes it. “Heeseung─”
“Lift your leg for me, sweetheart.” His command is delivered in a soft, calming tone, to which you silently comply, slowly lifting your leg before he proceeds to assist you in wearing your underwear.
Just as you rise from the couch, your knees buckle underneath you, causing an imbalance in your standing figure, but Heeseung steadily holds you against him while you lean dependently into his chest for support. 
“Sorry.” You mutter, and your rosy cheeks feel warmer under his dark gaze on your face, with a smirk playing on his lips. Your heart beats erratically against your chest in intimate close proximity while his arms slither around your waist.
“Oh, sweetheart, you are truly adorable.” Heeseung coos, his fingers stroking your cheek affectionately, and his eyes are swirling with sentiments beyond your comprehension, because why is he gazing at you with such love and adoration?
“I haven’t even fucked you yet, but your legs are already turning into jell-o because of my tongue.”
“Heeseung! You can’t just say that!” You flushed red in disbelief at how he said it so casually. You try to push him away from you, but he only tightens his grip on you and pulls you closer to him until you can feel his bulge pressing against your tummy. “Let go of me.”
Heeseung grabs strands of your soft locks and brings them to his nose, smelling faintly before kissing them, and his gesture alone sends a fluttery sensation to your heart. “I won’t ever let go of you, sweetheart.” You can’t help but sense the double meaning of his words. “Plus, I haven’t said what I want to say to you.”
“And what is that?” You ask, raising an eyebrow at him.
“Come with me to a family dinner tomorrow.” He says so firmly, his tone indicates no room for objection from you.
“Okay.” You acquiesce, frowning lightly, which denotes your confusion. “But why me?”
“You’re in my territory now, pretty. So everything I say or order, you’ll do so like the good girl I know you are, and don’t even think of trying to escape.” Heeseung leans in to press a tender kiss on your forehead, and while his gesture feels affectionate, it does nothing to alleviate the familiar turmoil within you. 
“And if I do?” You dare to ask despite feeling apprehensive about his answer. Your pulses drum in your ears as he trails his kisses down the side of your face before stopping at your temple while his hand moves to cradle the back of your head.
“Pretty girl, if you do…” He sighs softly against you, moving his lips to press a sensual kiss on your earlobe before catching you completely off guard when his fingers grab a chunk of your hair and pull your head to the back, eliciting a whimper from you.”
“H-Hee─” Your hand flies to his wrist and claws at it, imploring him to release you while your fearful eyes meet his dark, steely ones. “Seungie.” You whimper as he forces you to turn your head sideways.
His hot breath fans the shell of your earlobe while your heart remains pounding harder. “Oh, sweetheart, I don’t think you’ll like the consequences.” He whispers darkly into your ear. “Even if you do manage to escape, I won’t be far behind.”
“Why are you being like this?” You ask shakily, tears glistening in your eyes at his unforgiving hold.
“Why?” His cold chuckles feel mocking, sending shivers through you. “Because you’re mine. Your body, your voice, your soul ─ they’re mine.” He presses a deep kiss on your cheek before murmuring, “Sweetheart, you’ve always belonged to me.”
No! That is what your mind is screaming, and your rationality urges you to evade this psychotic man, but despite the pain and fear you harbour for him, a twisted part of you feels delighted because, deep down, maybe you have longed for him to take you in the way the other three men did.
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You can’t recall the last time family dinner felt this uncomfortable. What’s even worse is that you feel your presence is intruding, considering that Heeseung’s parents didn’t seem too pleased at the moment they saw you at the threshold of their posh mansion, but nevertheless, they acknowledged you.
The atmosphere in the dining room seems to thicken with tension that is palpable to you despite the distinct chatters and chortles coming from the other side of the table, prompting you to discreetly look over to Heeseung’s twin older brothers.
Earlier, Heeseung introduced you to his older brothers, who were rather blatantly flirtatious with you in their manner, but you were not entirely surprised since Heeseung did give you a heads-up about his older brothers’ coquettish tendencies towards women. You were also informed that they are five years older than Heeseung, and they are currently doctors employed at Seoul National Hospital.
A frown touches your lips as you watch them, wondering how on earth they manage to blithely disregard the patent frigidity between Heeseung and his parents. It is almost as if the two are used to this prevalence.
Heeseung never really mentioned anything about his parents on your way to dinner, but you knew that his father is the Chief of the Seoul Metropolitan Police Agency, so that explains the cold, reserved demeanour his father exudes. Heck, you feel as though you are committing a crime whenever you make a single movement, especially as his father’s eagle eyes occasionally settle on you. Of course, you never dare make eye contact with his father unless he directs his speech to you.
His mother, on the other hand, looks years younger than his father. She appears standoffish, dolled up in a designer piece that drapes over her figure flawlessly. She has yet to say much, but her sharp yet callous eyes often send you flinching.
“So, Heeseung.” One of the twins, who goes by Jaesung, draws everyone’s attention, including yours. It is still uncanny to you that the three siblings can pass as triplets instead, especially in the way they smile. “Is this the part where you announce your relationship with the lovely Y/N Kang?”
“Our baby brother? In a serious relationship?” The other twin, Daehyun, remarks with a tinge of sarcasm, leaning forward with his hands clasped together. “Oh my. How you’ve grown, indeed.”
“Is this true, Heeseung?” The austerity is accentuated in the way his father speaks, nearly causing you to flinch, but from your peripheral vision, Heeseung displays such nonchalance.
As much as you want to assert the truth to them, you resort to the silent passivity of whatever declaration Heeseung chooses to enunciate. Plus, his hand gripping your plush thigh is an implicit warning, so you know better than to go against him.
You quickly take a glance at Heeseung, seeing his full attention on his father seated across from him. You begin to wonder what exactly Heeseung’s motive is when he clearly displays his disdain for this family dinner.
Heeseung, who has felt your eyes lingering on his face, chuckles inwardly as he can sense your peak curiosity about the dynamic of his family as well as his ulterior motive, but he continues to maintain heated eye contact with his father while a smirk plays on his lips.
Truthfully, Heeseung simply wants to exasperate his father by bringing you to the family dinner, knowing that his father explicitly warned him to keep his distance from you for some reason, and yet Heeseung has an inkling that his father’s absurd rationality has something to do with you being your mother’s daughter.
“Yes.” His confirmation seems to elicit a flaring ire behind the elder’s eyes, which only fuels Heeseung’s zeal in executing part of his revenge towards him. Without looking at you, Heeseung grabs your hand and intertwines your fingers with his before raising it to give the back of your hand a kiss. “Y/N and I are in a relationship, so we hope that you’ll give us your blessings.”
“You have our blessings, dear brother.” Daehyun intervenes, but that does little to ease the crackling tension between the father and the youngest son.
“Take good care of our baby brother, Y/N.” Jaesung sends you a friendly wink, to which Heeseung narrows his eyes.
“I see.” His father’s reciprocation is nothing short of acknowledgement, but even you can tell that his father doesn’t approve of this in the way he stares at Heeseung. The elder dabs the white handkerchief to the corner of his lips before rising from his seat. “If that is all, I’ll be in my office to resume my paperwork.”
“Dear.” You watch as the wife calls for him and touches his arm, but the elder simply ignores her as he proceeds to make his departure. Even towards his own wife, he harbours the same coldness towards Heeseung. 
Time has passed since the uncomfortable dinner, and you now find yourself wandering in the sectional part of the living room, where there are distinct yet beautiful paintings hanging in opulent golden frames on each wall, making you feel as though you are at an art exhibition event. They look like they cost thousands.
“Y/N.”
Your heart nearly jumps out of your chest at the sound of his father’s voice. You slowly turn around, only to lock eyes with his steely ones as he stands just a few metres from you, allowing you to take a fleeting examination of his features. It is as if you are staring at the older version of Heeseung.
“Mister Lee,” You manage to utter a feeble greeting with a small smile. “Thank you for the wonderful dinner.” It was, in fact, the worst dinner you ever had.
You subtly shift under the uncomfortable weight of his gaze as he seems to scrutinise you, leaving you to ponder what you did wrong for his father to feel disdainful towards you.
“I don’t approve of your relationship with Heeseung.” You already expect that much, but why does your heart ache even though you know that you’re not in any relationship with Heeseung? The look in his father’s eyes holds such austerity that it makes you want to cower from him. “After this, I want you to stay away from my son.”
“May I ask why?” You ask tentatively, trying your utmost to repress the hurt from travelling to emerge tears from your eyes. “Am I not good enough for your son?”
You can see it in his eyes — the drastic yet fleeting change in his austere demeanour, almost as if the sight of your eyes now glistening with tears seemed to soften him, evoking a sense of pity in him.
“Staying away from him is for your benefit.” His gentle tone shocks you, as does the look in his eyes. “You’re a nice girl, Y/N. You are better off without being associated with my son.”
“But what if I love him?” The words fly from your mouth without your permission, astounding you with the absurd declaration of love when you remain in a state of uncertainty about your feelings towards your once-academic rival. It feels like you can’t even differentiate between love and infatuation.
“Then it would be wise for you to erase your feelings for him before it’s too late.” His father chuckles wryly, and his cryptic words throw you into a whirlwind of confusion. “Being closely associated with my son will only bring you nothing but misery.”
“I don’t understand why you are talking badly about Heeseung. No matter what, he’s your son.” You express your dissatisfaction with a frown on your lips. “I already know what he’s capable of, but I can assure you he’s not bad. He’s been nothing but nice to me.”
Little do you know that your words provide satisfaction to the person listening behind the wall a few metres away from you.
“You’ve been fooled by his charms, Y/N.” His father heaves a disappointed sigh. “You have no idea how despicable he is. So please, leave him while you still can.”
“Mister Lee─” Your breath hitches in your throat as soon as he steps closer, his fingers brushing your cheek tenderly.
Sentiments swirling in his eyes are beyond anything you can fathom, while a wistful smile etches on his face. “You look so much like her.” His voice trembles with poignance.
“Who?” You inquire as relief washes over you at the loss of his touch on your skin.
“Your mother.”
Your eyes widen in surprise. “You know my mother?”
“More than you’ll ever know.” His voice, barely above a whisper, a raw emotion of longing, is palpable.
Before you can ask him to elaborate, Heeseung’s voice cuts through the air sharply like a knife. “Y/N, sweetheart, come here.”
When you look over to him, his countenance is inscrutable, but the danger brewing in his eyes daunts you, prompting you to refrain from dilly-dallying any longer as you find yourself gravitating towards him.
Your cheeks flare as he brazenly wraps his arms around your waist before leaning down to place a chaste kiss on your cheek in front of the elder. “We’ll be heading off first, father.” There is a certain edge in his tone, and before you can look up at his face, he grabs you by the hand and pulls you with him.
“Brother, leaving so soon?” Both Daehyun and Jaesung, who have been hanging out in the living room, raise their eyebrows at the two of you. “Come on. We haven’t even gotten to know Y/N yet!” Jaesung casts a flirtatious wink at you this time.
“We have somewhere to be.” Heeseung offers them a tight smile while his grip on your hand only seems to tighten, eliciting an inaudible whimper from you. “Oh, and Jaesung? Look at my girl that way again, and you’ll find yourself waking up with one eye missing.”
Heeseung doesn’t await any of their responses, as he continues to drag you along with him. You try your best to catch up with his long legs, and when your eyes linger on his back, you swear you can hear the cacophonous maelstrom of raging vehemence in his head.
Now settling in his car, cold silence continues to dominate the atmosphere. You don’t dare to break the ice between the two of you, your eyes focusing on the road ahead of you while your heart pounds against your chest as his car gradually picks up velocity, uncertain of where he is bringing you.
Your eyes eventually trail over to him, noticing his chiselled jaw locked, which parallels the tension, colouring his knuckles nearly white as he grips the steering wheel. You bite down on the inner flesh of your cheek, contemplating whether or not to speak up, especially since he is driving at an alarming speed.
“Heeseung.” You accidentally utter his name in a meek whisper before deciding to overcome your apprehension, but your soft voice is a melodious tune that compels him. “Seungie, slow down, please.”
Heeseung heeds your words, decelerating the speed and taking a brief glance at you before he decides to pull over to the side, where, thankfully, the street is rather a desolate one. You watch him in silence as he releases his clutch from the steering wheel, leaning his head to the back with his eyes closed, before he turns his head to look at you. “What did he say to you?”
You know that he is referring to his father. You fiddle with your fingers as your nerves begin to act up, hyper-aware of the brewing tension sizzling in the air around you. “He told me to stay away from you.”
Of course, Heeseung knows this since he eavesdropped on you earlier. He hums, his hand reaching out to cradle your cheek, and his thumb moves in a tender stroke on your skin. “And what did my sweetheart tell him?”
You hate how his soft tone feels deceptive, causing you to tread carefully with your next choice of words. “I refused him and told him that you’re nice.” You mumble as you find yourself leaning into his touch.
A pleased smirk plasters on his handsome countenance. “Good girl. Now come here.” Upon his instruction, you unbuckle your seatbelt before moving over to him with his assistance, as he has you perched on top of him.
His heart soars at how docile you are to him while his eyes drink in your beautiful features, which are illuminated by the street lights from the outside. With his eyes boring into yours, he tucks strands of your hair behind your ear. “You know, sweetheart, I’m feeling very upset. Can you help to make me feel better?”
“Are you upset because of your father?” The way you tilt your head slightly to one side as your doe eyes sparkle with curiosity brings a fond smile twitching on his lips.
“Many things upset me, like how my brothers were being flirtatious with you,” He leans his body towards you, his hands slithering around your waist and pulling you closer until your chest hits his. “How my father had the audacity to keep us apart,” His voice drops low as he dips his head down to place a kiss on your skin, just above the silver cross resting on your chest, before slowly trailing his kisses upward. “How my stepmother still breathes and acts like she owns the place.”
Despite his warm lips remaining intact on the hollow of your throat, which sends your head spinning, the mention of his stepmother captures your attention. “She’s your stepmother?”
Your hands find their way to settle on his shoulders, gripping them as you begin to be aroused by his tantalising kisses littering the expanse of your neck while you tilt your head for him to gain better access, earning you an approval hum from him.
“W-What about your real mother?” You ask, panting lightly as your chest feels heavier from the rising tension in the car.
“Dead, alive, I don’t know.” Heeseung sighs against your skin. “Couldn’t give a fuck about her since the day she cut off all contact with my brothers and me.”
Your heart aches for him the same way you felt towards Jay before, but soon the sympathy dissipates at the way he is now gripping your hips to grind on him. “Wait, Heeseung─” A gasp leaves your lips as his bulge brushes against your core, causing your cunt to clench beneath the material of your underwear.
“Come on, pretty.” Heeseung leisurely leans back, pulling you down with him while his hands continue to guide your movement. “Grind on me like you're riding my cock.”
Heat weaves across your cheeks at his licentious words, and yet it only turns you on further, motivating you to pick up the momentum, grinding on him with your throbbing pussy, explicitly feeling the sheer girth of his cock hidden beneath the slacks.
“Oh, Hee…” Your lips form an ‘o’ shape with light pants and pretty moans emitting from you, your head tilted up with your lidded eyes fluttering at the delicious friction of your clit pressing down on him.
“Fuck,” He grits his teeth, his hips bucking up to move in tandem with you, while his fingers dig into the flesh of your hips. “That’s it, sweetheart. Don’t stop until you make us both cum, yeah?”
You nod your head, unable to form coherent sentences as needy whines and moans continue to spill from your lips. The hem of your black dress hikes up all the way above your thighs, allowing you more room to spread your legs comfortably while still maintaining the pace. The fact that you look like a bitch in heat humping on him unabashedly doesn’t bother you in the slightest, and instead, it arouses you into grinding on his protruding cock more feverishly.
“Yeahhh, just like that, pretty.” He smirks at you, revelling at how beautiful yet sinful you look. His hands move until they grope your ass cheeks for leverage, pulling you closer and allowing you to feel for his cock and pelvis deeply. “Oh, how perfect you truly are, sweetheart.”
Your heart flutters at his adoring words, and when your eyes finally settle on his face, butterflies awaken in your tummy at the way he is looking at you with a smirk on his handsome countenance, as if you’re his whole world. Your eyes flicker at the familiar lip ring adorning his bottom lip, and a yearning for his lips on yours is palpable.
You mewl, your thighs beginning to quiver as soon as you feel the familiar knot in your tummy. to quiver as soon as you feel the familiar knot in your tummy. “Please kiss me.”
Who is he to refuse his beloved? With one hand placed on your back, he pulls you down fully, his head tilted to a perfect angle for your lips to collide with his, allowing you to taste the fresh cigarette on his lips. You flutter your eyes closed while your hips don’t relent from their feverish movement.
Despite the uncomfortable feeling of his cold lip ring on yours, your lips move in a fervent dance as he kisses you as if he needs air, as if he has waited for so long to devour you. Feeling his teeth biting down on the suppleness of your bottom lip, you whimper as your lips part open for him to explore your hot cavern.
You moan wantonly as his tongue meets you in an intimate tango while your orgasm is nearly impending, prompting you to roll your hips deeper as your clit grazes against his bulge even more deliciously.
“Cumming, pretty?” He whispers hotly into your mouth, his fingers tangling in your hair to grip it. His tongue licks the seams of your bottom lip, which look swollen from his biting earlier. “Come on, cum with me.”
With the last friction of your clit along his girth, your stomach tightens as you finally come undone with him, feeling your slick arousal leaking from your folds that form a sticky wet patch on your underwear. The exertion dawns on you as you allow yourself to lean on his body with your head resting on his shoulder.
He plants a kiss on your exposed shoulder while caressing your back. “Thank you, sweetheart. I really needed that.” With his arms wrapped around your waist, your heart remains a fluttery mess as you are cocooned in his warm embrace.
The two of you remain unmoving, basking in each other’s touch and scent, with Heeseung occasionally leaning down to press his lips on your shoulder, an affectionate gesture that intensifies the butterflies in you.
“Do you want to go back now?” He asks gently, looking at you as you slowly raise your head.
You shake your head, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment at the fact that you desire to feel his lips again. Being brazen enough, your fingers clutch at his collar shirt. “I want you to kiss me again.” But you utter your words meekly, drawing a teasing smirk from his lips.
“What was that?”
The way you huff annoyedly is rather adorable in his eyes. The sound of your whine goes straight to his cock. “I want you to kiss me again.” You reiterate loudly. “Please?”
Raising his upper body, Heeseung latches his hand at your nape to pull you closer until his lips collide with yours, and this time, he kisses you tenderly slowly, taking his time to savour this moment, and yet as he deepens the kiss, the connection between the two of you amplify.
You hum into the kiss, your movements are desperate as you cling onto him with your arms around his neck, needing to feel him closer. All the caution you initially had for him is thrown in the wind, and you allow yourself to fully acknowledge that you desire this man to claim you as his best friends did.
He chuckles breathily into the kiss at your eagerness, his hold on your waist is one of reverence. “Slow down, sweetheart.” He murmurs into the kiss while you don’t relent. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
You decide to take charge, forcing him to lean back before you trail your kisses down his neck until you stop at his Adam’s apple that is bobbing up and down. Your tongue takes a teasing lick, eliciting a breathy moan from him at the sensitivity, before you lick again and give it a kiss.
“Oh, fuck.” He curses out breathlessly, feeling his cock erect underneath the material just by the sensation of your lips on his throat. This time, he isn’t sure if he can hold himself back as you continue to litter your kisses and licks all over his neck. “Sweetheart, we should stop.”
“No.” You mumble, slotting your lips over his parted ones and kissing him hard before poking your tongue into his mouth. The wet smacking sound and breathy moans elicited from the two of you are obscene, reigniting your arousal once more.
“Again?” Heeseung groans as soon as he feels you grinding your cunt on his erection while you play with his lip ring, licking and biting it. His eyes darken at the sight of you fluttering your eyelashes at him seductively as you bite down his bottom lip and pull it teasingly before you engulf him with your tongue once more.
“Cum with me, Seungie.” You mewl into his mouth as you increase the pace, allowing his cock to feel your drenched cunt explicitly. Heeseung desires to take charge, but seeing you in this light does something to him.
Rolling his hips up, Heeseung throws his head to the back, moaning deeply as white ropes of cum spurt from his cock, staining his already dampened briefs. Seeing as you manage to arouse pleasure in him, you follow suit, your underwear completely drenched as you come undone for the second time.
“Good girl.” He pants lightly, eyeing you lazily as he caresses your cheek while a soft smile beams on your face before you lean in to kiss his lips.
“Can I suck your cock now, Seungie?” You ask sweetly against his lips, driven to give him the best possible blowjob of his life after having been taught and experienced with his best friends.
“Next time, pretty.” Heeseung plants a kiss on your forehead. “We should head back.”
“Then can I suck your cock while you drive?” Your offer only seems to entice him more than it should. You force his hands away from you before you move over to the passenger seat.
“Sweetheart─” He groans, falling into the temptation as your fingers find their way to unzip his pants before they pull down his dampen brief, releasing his still erection from the confines.
Your mouth begins to salivate at the sight of his long, veiny cock, with the tip raging red. Although you are doubtful if you can even handle him, a newfound vigour possesses you as you lean towards him and dip your head down with one hand holding the base. You kiss the tip wetly, enhancing his sensitivity as he bucks his hips up, before you decide to lick the tip and suck on it like you would do to a lollipop.
Heeseung throws his head to the back, moaning deeply at the sensational pleasure while he feels greatly impressed by your skills. “You are going to be the death of me, sweetheart.” He sighs pleasurably as the tip hits the roof of your mouth before you begin to deep-throat him. A muscle pulses in his jaw as he starts the ignition of his car. “Don’t stop until we reach the palace.”
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In retrospect, maybe you shouldn’t have surmised that the anonymous person was indeed Heeseung just because the endearment 'sweetheart’ induced the paranoia in you. Plus, it seems illogical that Heeseung was responsible for those texts when his loyalty and love for his best friends have been amply shown in the way he speaks about them, whereas the anonymous person had been so adamantly persuading you to leave them.
Or maybe Heeseung is indeed the anonymous person who harbours ill-feelings towards his best friends for reasons that are kept hidden in a pandora box and chose to play mind games with you. Perhaps it could be the reason why you haven’t been receiving any texts from the unknown number because you have long since been within his reach.
No matter, you regard it as something trivial. Besides, Heeseung has been nothing but nicer to you and always ensures that you are comfortable, be it inside the palace or outside. And so you shall resort to the presumption that Heeseung is not the creepy anonymous person.
“Sweetheart.” Heeseung’s warm greeting gently pulls you out of your rumination. The sound of his soft, gentle voice is a euphony to your ears that makes you feel as though you are floating as you grace your way towards him.
Your heart bears the familiar flutters as you do a quick examination of his overall beach fit. With the exception of his wonted black cap adorning his head, he is clad in a black printed short-sleeve beach shirt that complements his shorts. The serpent pendant rests on his chest with the chain hooked around his neck, while his earlobes are bare of the usual metal studs and earrings. The tattoo inked on his neck looks distinct under the fluorescent lights overhead.
You never would have thought that he would undeniably be the man of your wildest dreams.
As soon as you are within an arm’s reach, Heeseung swiftly grabs a hold of your hand and pulls you to him, eliciting endearing giggles from you that bring a smirk to his lips.
“Heeseung.” You greet him heartily, beaming with a smile on your radiant countenance as he has you locked in his embrace with one arm while the other cradles your face to angle your head before he leans down to seal your lips with his, kissing you deeply while the background fades into oblivion.
He hums against your lips before pulling away just slightly for his lips to ghost over yours, his eyes fluttering open to meet yours. “You look gorgeous, sweetheart.” His husky voice stirs an arousal in your core.
“Thank you. You don’t look bad yourself.” You reciprocate sheepishly, feeling small under his dark gaze, while a devilish smirk paints his features upon seeing your rosy cheeks that flare due to the effect he knows he has on you.
His eyes rake over you again, completely enamoured by the breathtaking sight of you, all dolled up in a baby blue spaghetti strap dress with a rather low neckline that displays a teasing peek of your cleavage. Your hair is styled in a lovely braided half-updo that resembles a wreath-like crown, while the short strands of your baby hair are let loose as they hang by your face frame. You apply a minimal amount of makeup that accentuates your features.
When his eyes linger on your pink glossed lips, he is reminded of how sinful they were last night. The recollection of your doe eyes staring up at him as you swallowed all of his cum deep into your throat entices him to reenact last night’s pursuit while on your way to the beach.
“New car?” You inquire in genuine surprise as your eyes sparkle at the sight of a sleek grey Range Rover SUV behind him, oblivious to the erotic thoughts occupying his head at this moment. “I’ve never seen that car before.” You remark, diverting your attention to him.
“It was parked in the other garage, where we store other vehicles we rarely use.” Heeseung tells you in an idle manner, his attention is intently on you. “Are you sure you want to come along with us? The other knights will be there.”
Right. Apparently, Heeseung had plans on staying in the palace with you for the whole day, but earlier in the morning, he received incessant missed calls from three specific individuals before he reluctantly answered one of their calls, only to be persuaded to join the beach party the other knights were hosting. Heeseung did ask you since he didn’t want you to feel lonely in the palace, and he was a tad surprised at your enthusiasm despite knowing how other knights have treated and behaved around you in the past.
Heeseung can see a fleeting uncertainty in your eyes before you give him a firm head nod with a soft smile on your lips. “I’m sure. It’s a bummer that Jaeyun, Jay, and Sunghoon won’t be there.”
His eyes narrow at your kissable lips, forming a small pout. Adorning a lazy smirk on his lips, he cups your cheeks. “Don’t worry, pretty. They’ll be back in no time. Besides,” He leans down to nuzzle his nose with yours, drawing faint giggles from you. “You have me. I’ll keep you occupied, and you’ll eventually forget about them.” His voice is a low rumble that sends shivers down your spine.
Just as you lean in to press your lips on his, familiar voices pop the intimacy bubble that you are in, prompting you to look to the side where three silhouettes enter the opened garage before their faces greet you, each sporting distinctive beach fits.
“Y/N? You’re coming with us as well?” Jungwon inquires as he raises his eyebrow at you while you nod your head in response. He appears to be holding a volleyball in one hand while the other is occupied with a bag. 
“You look lovely, darling.” Sunoo compliments you with a simper smile, but you have an inkling that he is trying to get a reaction out of Heeseung, and you know that you are right the moment Heeseung wraps his arm around your waist with his head dipping down to press a kiss on your shoulder, displaying his possession over you.
“Sunoo was only joking, Heeseung.” Riki rolls his eyes as he smacks the back of Sunoo’s head, eliciting a wince from the latter. Riki briefly glances at you, his face remains impassive. “You look nice.”
Your eyes widen at the mere compliment from Riki, which you totally didn’t expect, given that Jaeyun once told you that Riki rarely gives compliments, even towards his own friends.
Still holding you in his possession with his nose and mouth burying in your hair, Heeseung manages to shoot them a withering glare, prompting the three to avert their gaze as they haphazardly make their way to the SUV.
Finally settling inside the Range Rover, everything smells anew, as if the car had been purchased just earlier. As Heeseung starts the ignition, you proceed to buckle your seatbelt while the three musketeers are seated in the backseat. The commotion from behind consists of Sunoo and Jungwon bickering, and when you take a glance at them, you stifle a chuckle at the amusing sight of Riki seated in the middle seeming to be asleep while the other two continue to bicker.
“Sweetheart, give me your hand.” Heeseung, who is driving you out of the palace, extends his hand out to you with his palm facing upward.
With a soft smile, you place your hand on his palm before he intertwines your fingers together. Your heart beats in a cadence that is beginning to feel familiar as you watch him place a kiss at the back of your hand while his other hand clutches the steering wheel in an expert motion.
“You can go to sleep, if you want.” Heeseung tells you, still holding your hand that is placed above his thigh, as he provides you with comforting warmth from his touch and how perfectly your hand fits his.
“It’s okay. I’m not sleepy.” You decline politely, but the weight pulling down at your eyelids contradicts your words, and soon you find yourself drifting into the familiar realm of sleep.
It seems as though the journey to the beach isn’t that far off, as you are jolted awake by the sound of the car door slamming closed, prompting you to flutter your eyelids open only to be greeted by the sight of the coast from afar. Soon, you and Heeseung trail behind Sunoo and Jungwon while Riki has gone ahead.
“Don’t leave my side.” Heeseung’s breath tickles your earlobe as he speaks softly. His arm around your waist is a display of possession that feels firmer as soon as you enter the scenery of throngs of knights members dominating this entirety of the beach.
“I won’t.” You reassure him with a sweet smile, earning you a kiss on the forehead from him.
“Good. I don’t trust any of them around you except Sunoo, Jungwon, and Riki.” Heeseung murmurs to you before his attention is focused on the knights ahead of you as they wave at him and salute him in different forms of greeting.
Although you feel relief that they don’t seem to gawk their eyes at you or throw any crude remarks at you, you can’t help but notice that the way they avoid staring at you seems deliberate. Little do you know that Heeseung has given them silent warnings just with his steely eyes.
“Heeseung! You came!” Yeonjun’s greeting is one of exuberance as he approaches Heeseung from the side, and you feel Heeseung loosening his grip on you unlike earlier.
“If it weren’t for Jungwon, I wouldn’t be here.” Heeseung tells him with a scoff, his attention solely on Yeonjun as they begin to converse while you distract yourself as your eyes sweep over to the bunch of them in an effervescent element engaging in a sport of volleyball. There is also music blaring from the speakers, adding more vibrancy to the lively atmosphere.
“Anyway, you’re with Y/N now?” Yeonjun’s inquiry grabs hold of your attention. “I know it’s not in any of my business, but what about the others?” You know that he is referring to three specific individuals. “That reminds me. Is this going to end up just as it did before─”
“Sweetheart, are you thirsty? Do you want some water?” Heeseung ignores Yeonjun deliberately, to which you frown in visible confusion. You don’t miss the way Heeseung casts a warning glare at Yeonjun before looking at you with softened eyes. “Do you feel hot?”
“I'm okay, Hee.” You smile awkwardly as he proceeds to bring you away from Yeonjun, and despite your desire to know what Yeonjun meant, you don’t want to piss off Heeseung more than he already is, as evident in the way he holds you.
“Heeseung! Come on!” Jungwon calls Heeseung over to his team. Heeseung seems contemplative as he comes to a halt, his eyes glancing at you. Before he can make a decision, Riki emerges from behind and slings his arm around Heeseung. “Y/N will be fine.” As if Riki read his mind, Heeseung immediately releases you before the younger drags him towards the volleyball section.
As much as you love Heeseung clinging to you, you can’t deny that you feel suffocated at times, especially when the wave of possessiveness rolling from him often knocks the breath out of you. You smack your cheeks lightly, inwardly groaning at the thought of having four men clinging to you, possibly 24/7.
“Why are you slapping yourself?” Taehyun’s voice startles you as your body jolts. You look at the side, only to be greeted with the infectious smile on his charming countenance. “Nice to see you here, Y/N.”
“Taehyun,” Your cheeks flush in embarrassment. “I wasn’t slapping myself.”
“Sure, you weren’t.” Taehyun jokingly rolls his eyes before beckoning you to follow him. “Since you’re looking a little lonely, wanna join us? Plus, your presence could really lift Beomgyu’s mood since he has been a little upset since you rejected his offer the other day.”
“The offer─Oh.” Realisation dawns on you as you recall. With a small smile at Taehyun, you proceed to follow him as he brings you over to the familiar bunch. You ignore the fact that they are shirtless since, after all, they will be venturing out to the waves with surfboards in their grasp. Beomgyu is one of them.
“Y/N, fancy seeing you here.” One of them, whom you recognise as Jeongin, casts you a smirk, and his remark draws the others’ attention to you.
“I thought there would be no ladies.” Hyunjin muses, and a predatory glint in his eyes brings you discomfort.
“Don’t you know that she’s an exception now?” Soobin’s tone sounds rather mocking before the collective snickering emitting from them comes, rendering you disheartened at the fact that words have spread to the devil’s knight club about your explicit association with their leaders.
“Enough.” The austerity in Beomgyu’s tone is enough to silence them. “Any disrespect towards Y/N won’t be tolerated.”
“You heard my best friend. Now play nice.” Taehyun’s words of advice are dismissed by them as they proceed to venture out to the waves in the ocean that are approaching while your attention is fixed on Beomgyu.
“Sorry about them. They really need to learn how to shut the fuck up sometimes.” Beomgyu rolls his eyes. “Anyway, I really didn’t expect to see you here. So Heeseung wasn’t joking when he said you’d be busy with him, huh?”
“It’s fine, Beomgyu. I’m used to it.” You chuckle dryly. “I heard from Taehyun that a certain someone was being sulky because of me.”
Beomgyu seems almost sheepish as he scratches the back of his head. “Nah, it’s not because of you. Tae totally made that up.” You grow amused as he glares at Taehyun, who feigns innocence in the way he blinks his eyes.
“As much as I would like to talk more with you, a man’s gotta surf.” Beomgyu shoots you a mirthful grin. “You are welcome to watch us surf, by the way.”
“Um…” Your eyes dart at Heeseung from afar, noticing him in his sporty element as he serves the volleyball expertly while his black cap has long since fallen to the sand. Well, since Heeseung is entirely occupied, it won’t hurt for you to watch the other guys surf, right?
Not too long later, you are seated on a small picnic mat by the coast, thanks to Taehyun’s offer, so you won’t have to dirty your dress. Your mouth is agape as you watch in amazement at the sight of them surfing, and at times you find yourself worrying whenever they fall off their surfboards, resulting in them plunging into the relentless waves.
But then, a sense of neglect comes as you pout your lips, getting distracted by the thought of Heeseung. Heeseung has yet to come for you, leaving you to wonder if he has forgotten about you since he is too busy with his fellow knights. The sun on the horizon has even begun its descent as time has passed by quickly.
“Look who is being sulky now.” Beomgyu’s teasing voice pulls you out of your thoughts before you are aware of his presence next to you. When you look at him, his hair is wholly drenched while droplets of water trickle down his skin. “What’s wrong?”
You feel compelled to confide in him after how nice he has been to you. “It’s nothing important.”
“Then why are you still pouting?” Beomgyu points out, his finger is touching your lips. “Don’t pout. You’re not five.”
You gasp in disbelief before shoving him by the shoulder playfully. “Rude.” You give him a scowl, but his chuckles are so infectious that you find yourself joining him. “I don’t know, I mean, I don’t want to come off like a needy girlfriend when I'm not, but I feel kind of neglected.” You begin to unravel your thoughts after the two of you have calmed down.
Beomgyu examines your crestfallen eyes before the view of your side profile greets him as you gaze out at the beautiful dawning horizon. “It’s about Heeseung.” He points out the obvious, and the certain edge in his tone goes unnoticed by you. “You two used to be rivals, so what changed now?”
A soft smile touches your lips. “I guess you can say feelings have changed. It turned out, I didn’t really hate him as much as I thought I did.”
Beomgyu merely hums. “Heeseung is a great guy. You can be assured that he’ll take good care of you.” You can’t help but discern the lack of sincerity in his compliment.
Nevertheless, you continue to vent your feelings to him, inattentive to your surroundings, which include the danger hurling towards you. “I don’t know, Beomgyu. Is it even possible to like four people at once─”
“Y/N, look out!” It all happens too fast for you to comprehend, because one moment you feel assured by his oddly comforting presence to confide in him, and the next, you find yourself being pinned down to the sand, your eyes widening as he hovers on top of you.
“W-What just happened?” Confusion laces in your voice while there is unsettling turmoil in your tummy, and you have no idea whether it’s the position you are in or the fact that you feel a pair of heated eyes at you that is not Beomgyu’s.
“Volleyball.” Beomgyu says as you follow the movement of his eyes before you spot the volleyball just a few metres from you. “You almost got hit.”
“Ah, thanks.” You utter distraughtly as he slowly backs away from you. You cast him a small yet curt smile before rising from the ground. “I’m just gonna head off to the washroom.”
“Oh, do you need me to come with you?” He asks, standing as well.
You immediately shake your head. “It’s okay! I just want to wash my face.” You attempt to politely refuse him, but even you know that your words are uttered in a ramble. Without waiting for his response, you quickly navigate your way to the washroom, which is thankfully not that far off from where you are.
Still, you can’t shake off the feeling of eyes on your figure, and the first person that comes to mind is Heeseung. Colours begin to drain from your face at the realisation that he may or may not have seen what happened, but it was not as if you and Beomgyu did anything beyond appropriate.
Your heart nearly jumps at the sound of your phone chiming in your pocket, and your first thought is the anonymous person. Groaning out, you fish out your phone and unlock your phone screen, but the notification comes from someone you didn’t expect, and just seeing his name is enough to bring dread to you.
HEESEUNG: Turn around.
You do so slowly before finally spotting Heeseung not far from you, as he is still being surrounded by familiar and unfamiliar faces. The bill of his cap casts a shadow over his face as he appears to be speaking with them while a smirk occasionally tips at his lips. He appears to be looking down at his phone before his dark eyes finally meet yours fleeting, and it is enough for you to be alarmed.
Ding! You look down again to read.
HEESEUNG: Go back to the car and get into the backseat.
Even though it is an odd instruction, you don’t question it further as you find yourself walking in haste, almost as if you are getting away from your predator before it captures you. But wait…perhaps you should devise an escape scheme, or maybe you shouldn’t, but the sudden adrenaline rush in you feels overpowering.
Ding! You check your phone again, and this time, you know you are in for something.
HEESEUNG: Keep walking, and don’t even think of trying to escape.
That is when you know he’s not far behind you. You begin to pick up the pace while your heart pounds harder against your chest. It isn’t long before you finally reach the SUV and head for the backseat, where the door has been unlocked.
You can hear your pulse drumming in your ear as you regulate your breathing, while the stillness in the car feels rather suspended as you wait in uncertain anticipation. Seated on the right side, the door beside you swings open, startling you. Upon his ominous arrival, you slowly yet discreetly scoot away from him.
“Heeseung─” You gasp loudly while your heart lurches in your chest as you find yourself being pinned to the seat with his fingers seizing your neck in a threatening hold. Your body feels as though you have been paralysed underneath him. You open your mouth to speak, but he silences you with his lips and thrusts his tongue into your mouth forcibly, allowing you to taste the fresh taste of his cigarette while his cap falls off his head.
The tension crackling in the air is like electricity, one that sends you perpetual shivers all over your body. The disoriented sound emerging from the back of your throat is a mingling of both whimper and moan that parallels your confusion and fright for the enraged male who is kissing you as though he is punishing you.
Tears prick in your eyes as he bites down your bottom lip painfully, nearly drawing out blood. You attempt to push him away from you, but his grip on your neck tightens, nearly blocking the airways that have faint black dots appearing in your vision.
You hate it. You hate it that you feel petrified of Heeseung at this very moment, knowing that he can easily snap your dainty neck with just one move. You whimper, accepting defeat, as he manages to draw out blood from your bottom lip while it throbs.
“What the fuck was that?” His gravelly, deep voice sounds rough as he speaks into your mouth, while your lips feel swollen by his unforgiving kisses and bites.
“Heeseung.” You whimper helplessly, still trying to resist him as you valiantly push him in the chest, but he grabs both of your wrists with ease and has them locked above your head with one hand.
His tongue licks at the seam of your lip, tasting your blood. “I just can’t leave you alone for a while, can I?” He scoffs out, the corner of his lips upturning a smirk while his callous eyes penetrate into your glistening ones. “And you dared to go to Beomgyu after I told you not to go near him? Fuck, you really like to test my patience that much, don’t you?”
“I didn’t!” You try to deny it despite feeling lightheaded at the restricting air in you, but that only earns you a degrading scoff from him. He releases your neck, allowing you to regulate your erratic breathing while you hear some shuffles before you feel his hands invading underneath your dress to search for your underwear just to practically tear it apart, eliciting a gasp from you.
“Heeseung!” You attempt to close your legs, hating that your body and awaiting cunt are anticipating him. Your disobedience earns you a slap on your thigh before he forces your legs apart as you are fully bare from below.
Your hips jerk at the sensitivity of his thumb stroking your clit before the pad of his fingers slides down on your slit, every rub he administers feels deceptive. “Seungie─Ah!” You yelp out as soon as his hand lands a sharp smack on your pussy while the sound echoes in the car.
“Oh, sweetheart, I was hurt.” He sighs as his fingers rubbing your slit feel deliberate, almost cunning, before he smacks your pussy again, and this time twice as hard that you swear you feel the searing burn. “You smiled, laughed, and even fucking touched him.”
A whimper leaves your lips, hating yet loving the pain as he abuses your pussy again, but soon the arousal comes forth, and when he lands a sharp smack to your clit, you arch your back while a moan tears from your throat.
“You’re not supposed to like this, sweetheart.” He scoffs out a smirk before delivering another smack on your clit. “Only desperate, pathetic sluts are supposed to find this enjoyable. Are you one?”
“N-No!” You gasp as he plunges two fingers deep into your sopping heat, scissoring you at an unforgiving pace yet with precision that has you going lightheaded.
“Yeah, you are slut. A dirty fucking slut.” He sneers down at you, watching as your face contorts into pleasure as you moan out with your head thrown to the back. Your hands move haphazardly to latch on his moving wrist, needing him to shove his fingers deeper while his dark chuckles send shivers through you before he withdraws from you. “I’m going to fuck you, and you’re going to take the whole of me and everything I give to you like the good fucking girl you are.”
Panic blooms in your chest as you lift your head to get a better view of his cock as he settles in between you. You try to scramble away from him, fearing the possibility of him tearing your insides apart upon seeing the thickness and length of his enraging cock, but he effortlessly pulls you by the legs and spreads them wider, and he thank fuck that the SUV is spacious enough.
“Heeseung, please!” Fear laces in the tremor of your voice as your hips jolt at the sensation of him smacking the head of his cock on your sensitive nub, and yet, you can feel your cunt throbbing incessantly with need and anticipation. “Hee─”
You can feel it — the head of his cock breaching in between your fluttery walls — and he doesn’t relent even as you whimper out your pleas, which only turns him on. He grits his teeth, feeling the resistance of your fluttery walls hugging him tight, but with an unbridled urgency, his cock manages to bury inside of you fully with one vigorous yet swift thrust. “Oh, fuck,” He hisses lowly, feeling your tight resistance of around him.
You feel like a sweet virgin when, in fact, your pussy has been used an uncountable number of times by his best friends, and that itself ignites a blazing jealousy in him. He does an experimental thrust as he watches your face contort into pain while a feeble yet cute moan spills from your lips and your eyes flutter closed with your back arched before drawing his cock out with a long drag against your walls, the head remaining inside before he decides to expunge any mercy as he delivers a hard, deliberate thrust, burying his cock to the hilt.
“Seungie.” Tears are welling in your eyes as the painful stretch persists while your cunt so desperately tries to accommodate his cock. With his body hovering on top of you, your arms hook around his broad, dependent shoulders while your legs slowly wrap around his waist, drawing a smirk on his lips at how you evidently submit yourself to him. 
“Gonna make sure you remember that you belong to me and ruin you for anyone.” His tone holds dark promises while his hauntingly beautiful eyes darken with an insatiable desire, distracting you momentarily from the pain in the way he is drilling his cock into your sopping cunt with his hips slamming down painfully on yours. “Just wanna lock you up and keep you hidden from everyone else.”
“Ugh! Hee!” A loud moan emerges from the back of your throat as he fucks his pent-up emotions into you, prompting you to unhook your arm from his shoulder to muffle your mouth with the back of your hand while tears continue to accumulate in your lower lids. Each thrust he delivers incites your quivering muscles, causing them to contract and enclasp his cock.
Heeseung narrows his eyes at you, not liking the fact that you are pathetically trying to muffle the sweet sounds from your mouth. With one hand beside your head to support his weight, he uses the other to pull your hand away from your panting mouth and intertwine your fingers with his before placing them above your head.
“Please! Please! Please!” You begin to blabber, any remnants of resistance in you dissolve as each pelting thrust builds new heights of pleasure while your hips move in tandem with his.
Heeseung captures your lips in a sloppy kiss that punctuates the cold, stagnant car. With your lips parting open, he swallows every breath and moans from you, his tongue probing in your hot cavern and clashing with your tongue. Without letting up the pace of his thrust, he begins to make out with your tongue, exchanging saliva and sucking your tongue, which creates a sound so lewd in your ears.
“Yeahhhh, sweetheart,” He whispers amorously into your moaning mouth, his voice laden with lust, loving the way you every so often roll your eyes to the back while your arch causes your boobs to press against his chest. “Feels good, yeah? You love my cock?”
You nod your head as you feel delirious. “Mmhmm! I love it!” You moan out, feeling a knot form in your tummy.
“That’s fucking right. My cock, not Beomgyu’s or anyone else’s.” He snarls coldly as he releases your bound wrists, only for his hand to make its descent, his fingers now curling around your throat. “Only I can satisfy you.”
“Hee!” You gasp out as he squeezes your neck, nearly blocking the airways and rendering your breath ragged. The fear is soon eclipsed by intense pleasure as he has you in a chokehold. Just as black dots begin to appear in your vision, he loosens his grip on your neck just slightly. Your swollen, irresistible lips entice him to seal you in a searing kiss.
“Ugh! Hee!” Your moans sound like a broken record against his lips, your impending orgasm teetering at the edge. “I’m─”
“Oh no, you don’t.” His cruelty shines through his smirk while he doesn’t let up his thrust. “You don’t deserve to cum. You’re going to be my dump cum slut, and your sweet cunt is going to milk every drop of my cum.”
“Seungie! Please!” A sob spills from your numb lips, with tears leaking from your eyes. Like a bitch in heat, you rut your hips against him, intensifying your teetering orgasm. “I-I’m sorry! You’re the only one I want!”
“Yeah? Then fucking say it.” He grunts out, leaning down to press a chaste kiss on your temple. “Say that you won’t be anywhere near Beomgyu or any man who is not us.”
“I promise I won’t!” You give him your word so easily without much consideration, the earnest in your punctuation seems to satisfy him. He removes his hand from your neck and drags his fingers down your quivering stomach until they reach your clit  “Ugh! Please, Hee! I want to cum!”
Heeseung only smirks in response as he rubs your clit with the pad of his thumb in patterns before pressing it down deeper, eliciting a loud moan from you. “Yeahhh, go ahead, pretty baby. Cum for me.” 
“Oh fuck!” You cry out, throwing your head back as you feel something overpowering, causing your body to writhe underneath him while every fibre of your being sizzles with white-hot pleasure. “Heeseung!” You scream as soon as you feel it.
“Yeah, babyy. Fucking squirt for me.” Heeseung grits his teeth as he doesn’t let up his administration on your bundle of nerves, even as you squirt for him, bathing him with your essence while your body convulses uncontrollably. “That’s it. Oh, that’s a good slut.”
You whimper weakly in response; your body is totally spent, and you swear you can feel bruises on your hips due to how hard he slammed. Heeseung’s hunger for you is insatiable, as his eyes rake all over you before he unsheathes his cock from your fluttery hole. 
Just as you think Heeseung is done, he leans forward, his hands around your spent body, and manhandles you into a position that has you perched on his lap. Despite your weakened limbs, you attempt to resist him.
“No, please, no.” You protest weakly as his hand holds you by the waist to lift you up with such ease.
“Yeahhhhh baby,” He drawls, a heavy lust projecting in the rasp of his voice. “Gonna fuck you some more, beautiful.”
“W-Wait! Heeseung─!” A broken moan spills past your lips at the sheer girth of his ramming cock that nestles deep inside of you with his firm hands on your hips, forcing you down on him. “Heeseung! Please!”
“Don’t worry. I’m gonna fuck you so good again.” He smirks against your skin before placing a kiss on your pulse, revelling in the sweet sound of your moans and cries as you plead. “Yeah? My good girl just wants to be fucked, doesn’t she? That’s why you’re fucking soaked all over me.”
“No.” Tears cascade in rivulets down your cheeks as you shake your head, hating and loving the immense pleasure he is giving you for the second time. 
“Yesss.” His teeth sink into your skin, grunting deeply with each hard and deliberate thrust he delivers into your overstimulated yet soaked cunt that feels unforgiving. His fingers are tangled in your hair to grip it as he forces you to face the roof of the car while the other hand cages your waist.
This time, the way he is fucking into you feels more for his pleasure, as though you are his fucktoy. The continuous sound of splat!-splat! as you bounce onto his cock is disgustingly lewd. With your neck bare in his hungry eyes, he latches his lips on your throat, humming against you and sending vibrations to your throat before trailing his kisses across your neck. He releases his grip from your hair as he dips his head down, allowing his face to burrow into the nook of your neck with sweat trickling down your skin.
“I’m gonna cum, baby.” He announces huskily while his hot breath hits the sheen of your skin. His arms slither around your waist to pull your body closer to his while his hips relentlessly buck up, and you swear you can feel his cock bruising your cervix.
With a languid moan, you force yourself to wrap both arms around his neck, hugging him close as you await his arrival. Hearing his low guttural moan, he holds you down firmly without any possible escape for you as he finally shoots a white rope of cum into you, sealing your fate with his.
Silence engulfs the two of you with the accompanying sound of your laboured breathing. He doesn’t say anything, only hugging you with his face still buried in the nook of your neck. You take this moment to observe your surroundings, and your eyes widen at the condensation from all the fucking evident on the car windows, but thankfully, they’re factory-tinted glasses, so it is nearly impossible for anyone to learn of your dirty tango inside the car unless they come closer.
“Heeseung.” Panic is evident in your voice while your eyes widen at the sight of knights entering the parking lot, as they seem to be heading back since the weather has turned gloomy with droplets of rain descending.
Heeseung merely hums, completely unbothered, as he kisses your neck leisurely before deciding to add another of his marks to your delicate skin, distracting you from panicking at the pleasurable sensation of his lips assaulting the sensitive part of your neck.
“Heeseung!” You whisper, tapping his shoulder repeatedly. Your heart pounds loudly in your ears as you watch some knights walk past the Range Rover from each side while commotions emanating from them can be heard. “Heeseung! Stop! They might see us!”
“I don’t see a problem with that.” He murmurs against your skin before pulling away, satisfied to see a fresh hickey embellished on your skin for him to proudly display to anyone that it’s his mark. “Even if they see us, we’ll be giving them a show.”
You gasp at the sensation of him bucking up his hips as he thrusts his cock into your wholly drenched cunt. “H-Heeseung─” Just as he delivers a jarring thrust, a loud moan accidentally tears from your throat before he silences you with his palm covering the whole of your mouth, nearly suffocating you.
“Shhh, you don't want them to know that we’re fucking, right? Or maybe you do?”” He asks mockingly as you shake your head frantically. A muffled moan elicits from you as he thrusts again. “You wanna let everyone know how much of a slut you are for my cock, don’t you?”
Upon feeling your walls clench around his cock at the unceasing degradation, dark chuckles leave his lips. “Yeahh, keep clenching around me like that. You love it when I’m mean to you, yeah?” He asks huskily as he uncovers your mouth, allowing the noise from you to be let loose as he forces you to bounce onto his cock for a few times before he lifts you away from him.
“Get on your fours.” The sheer authority exuding from him compels you to heed his instruction, whimpering as embarrassment washes over you with the entirety of your ass facing him. Your body jolts in surprise just as he delivers a harsh smack on your ass cheek at the same time as the thunderous storm in the sky before heavy rain begins its descent.
Goosebumps arise on your skin at this temperature. Your head is level with the window, allowing you to see some knights walking and running to their vehicles. A moan falls past your lips as soon as his cock rams into you, the squelching sound a testament to your essence emulsifying with his.
“Fucking hell. Just can’t get enough of your sweet pussy, baby.” Heeseung says in between heavy, ragged breaths as he hits it from behind, his hand pressing down on your lower back, forcing you to form a perfect arch of your back. “Oh, you are so perfect for me, my beloved.”
You moan out in response as you move your hips to meet his thrust. “Seungie, more, please! Oh! Right there!”
“Yeah? Right there?” His husky voice causes your cunt to clench around him. “Oh, fuck, baby. That’s your spot, isn’t it?”
“Mmmhmm!” You bite down your lower lip, your eyes fluttering close, just as he grabs a chunk of your hair for leverage while his other hand grips your hip. “You fuck me so good, Hee.” You say in a languid slur.
“I know, pretty.” He smirks down at you while his hand searches for your clit to rub it furiously, drawing more moans from you. “I’m gonna cum in you over and over again. You’ll take it like the cum dump you are, will you?”
“Yes.” You nod your head, desiring for him to fill you up to the brim. “Hee, kiss me.” Upon your polite request, he finds it hard to refuse you, and so, with his fingers in your hair, he raises your body until your chest hits his back. He seizes your chin to turn your head to the perfect angle for him to kiss you hard.
“I’m cumming.” You murmur into the kiss, your hand latches onto his wrist as he continues to rub your bundle of nerves.
“Cum with me again, sweetheart.” He pants against your moist lips before you pull away from him and rest the back of your head on his shoulder while your hand reaches up to grip his hair. “Your pussy was made perfect for me and me only.” He continues to deliver his dirty talk into your ear, even as your pussy spasms around him as you come undone with him. 
Heeseung feels your body shivering in his embrace. “Are you cold, my beloved?” He asks softly, taking you by surprise at the instantaneous change of his whole demeanour into the gentle, soft-spoken Heeseung that you have grown affectionate for.
“Yes.” You reciprocate in the same tone despite having to regulate your ragged breathing. As you look at him, the gentleness in his eyes is fleeting before the familiar darkness takes over.
“It’s okay, baby. I’ll keep you warm.” Within a matter of seconds, he has you settled on his lap and wastes no time in burying his cock into you as he forces you down.
“Seungie.” You whine before he seals you into a kiss, gradually turning into a sloppy make-out session as you feel the sheer exertion from all the fucking.
“Pretty girl,” He sighs against your lips, smirking as he slowly bucks up his hip. “Let’s fuck some more.”
Lee Heeseung is a beast under the disguise of doe-eyed Bambi, you think.
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Having the whole palace to yourself is something you never expected. Apparently, Heeseung had to attend a knights’ soirée where only exclusive members were invited, including the alumni, which would be hosted at a private bungalow owned by Sunghoon. That also explains the reason why Jay, Jake, and Sunghoon have been far from your reach since they have been busy planning and organising for the soirée.
Still, you feel a tad sullen that the three of them couldn’t be bothered to call you just once. Upon having seen your not-so-subtle petulance, Heeseung decided to grant you the liberty to do whatever your heart desires, for as long as you steer clear of the second level, specifically the south wing area.
It is odd since you feel as though he was warning you. Your mind begins to recall your conversation with Heeseung earlier.
“But why can’t I?” You inquire, your lips forming a small pout, while your eyes sparkle with genuine curiosity as you watch him trying to secure his tie underneath his white collar shirt in front of the full-length mirror. You can’t help but narrow your eyes at how his attempt seems deliberate, as though he is purposefully failing at tying it.
Heeseung casts a side glance at you as you are seated on top of the dressing table with your legs swinging back and forth lightly in an airy manner and your palms placed on the edge of the table as you slant your body forward. His cock twitches beneath the confines at how lovely yet luscious you look in a pink floral-printed dress with the hems hiked up above your plush thighs.
“It is more for your sake, sweetheart. Besides, you need to enter the correct passcode for you to be able to gain access to the whole place.” There is an undercurrent of warning along the lines, and you know you ought to exercise prudence. Heeseung narrows his sharp eyes at the crease on your forehead. “Don’t even think about it.”
“I’m not!” You deny, huffing pettily. Deciding to put an end to your niggling curiosity, you decide to direct your focus at his rather flimsy hands that are still tying a knot, to which your eyes twitch in irritation. “Hee, you’ve been trying for the past ten minutes!”
“If only someone is kind enough to help me.” A smirk plays on his lips while mischief dances delightfully in his eyes, and that is when you have an inkling that he has been failing on purpose. “Come on, sweetheart. Do I need to be straightforward and ask you the obvious?”
You playfully narrow your eyes at him, but nevertheless, you gravitate towards him until you stand in front of him. You try to ignore the heat of his gaze on your face as you fall into concentration on tying the perfect knot for him. “Stop staring at me.” You mutter, finally finishing the last touch before you adjust his collar shirt.
“I have eyes, pretty. I can stare at you for as long as I want.” Heeseung has you trapped with his hands on your waist. Your rosy cheeks flare under the intensity of his dark gaze as he pulls you closer until your body is flushed against his. “I’m gonna miss you, pretty.”
You scoff lightly as you ignore the untamed butterflies in your tummy. “You're only going to be gone for a day.”
“A day is too long.” Heeseung dips his head down to press a chaste kiss at the corner of your lips. "Mmmhm, maybe I should stay here with you.”
“Heeseung.” You attempt to push him away in the chest, but he doesn’t deter in the slightest as he proceeds to capture your lips in a toe-curling kiss. You melt against him with your arms hooked around his neck. “You should go now, handsome.” You manage to speak in between kisses.
“I should.” He agrees before he slowly backs you up without breaking the passionate lip lock until your bum hits the edge of the dressing table. He chuckles breathily into the kiss, his lips turning into a smirk. “Maybe in a while.”
And so, ever since Heeseung stepped out of the threshold, you have ventured your pursuits in your way around the palace with an unbridled enthusiasm ─ playing in the arcade, watching a romcom movie in the private theatre, cooking a simple dish in which you failed miserably, and you even went to their private bar where you attempted at making a cocktail of your own recipe, or at least you tried to, and it tasted rather questionable.
But the enjoyment of having the palace to yourself soon diminishes, hurling you into a state of boredom. It’s even worse when your heart yearns for the four men who manage to weasel their way into your heart despite their differences.
A sigh leaves your lips as your boredom has reached its peak, prompting you to lean forward to grab the controller and switch off the television that has been going animated idly. You rise from the velvet couch and stretch out your limbs before checking the time on your phone, seeing that it has struck 11pm. You have been made aware by Heeseung that he would return late, and so you begin to make your way to the stairs with the intention of heading to your room.
Just as you reach the second level, your phone vibrates in your grasp as it chimes loudly, shattering the quietude. Naturally, you expect the notification from either of the four men, but as soon as your eyes fall to your phone screen, the smile on your lips falters.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: It’s been quite some time since our last text. Missed me, sweetheart?
Now that you are firm in your presumption that this is definitely not Heeseung, a flare of temerity surges through you. With a scowl on your face, you proceed to type out your reply.
Y/N: No, and I know you’re not Heeseung.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: So you’re absolutely certain that I’m not him? 
Y/N: Yup. So whatever mind games you’re playing with me are not going to work anymore.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: I miss you, you know? I’m hurt that you’re being so cold over the text, sweetheart.
Y/N: You should really stop acting like Heeseung.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: Why? Because he calls you sweetheart the way I do? Does it ever occur to you that I might be him?
Y/N: And for what? Heeseung is not the type to waste his time preying on an innocent girl over texts.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: 301120
You blink your eyes while confusion fills your head upon seeing the digits.
Y/N: What is it for?
UNKNOWN NUMBER: It’s the passcode that allows you to gain access to the prohibited part of the palace for anyone, unless you’re a knight.
It seems that your lack of response serves as a hesitation for him before he texts again.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: Come on, pretty. I know you want to. Besides, you’ve been thinking about it, right? Forget about earlier. I’m now permitting you.
Pretty. Only Heeseung calls me that.
Y/N: How the hell did you know?
UNKNOWN NUMBER: I told you before that I might or might not be yours truly :) Now go on. Once you reach, I need you to follow my instructions.
Moments later, you find yourself standing outside of the steel-built door. Your eyes dart down at your phone before you proceed to punch the correct passcode at the smart keypad, and at once, the door automatically opens, but the sight that greets you startles you while every fibre of your being sizzles with perturbation.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: See that white door? I need you to go inside.
You don’t question how he knows your every step, as though he is watching you. You take a glance at the distinct white door that contrasts with the others before you advance forward. He sends a text again, entailing his instructions once more, which you obediently heed. Not long later, you have entered a cold, stagnant office that feels oddly eerie, probably due to how dark it is with the moonlight streaming into the window.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: Good girl. Now head over to the desk and unlock the computer. The password is your birth date.
“Huh?” Your face contorts into confusion, but you don’t waste time as you gravitate towards the desk that is adjacent to the window. Although you are eager, you feel rather hesitant, while a sense of dread creeps up on you as though at every twist and turn, you feel eyes watching your every movement.
Y/N: I don’t understand. What is on the computer that you need me to do instead of you?
UNKNOWN NUMBER: Less typing, more doing the work, sweetheart. Now, I want you to search for the file named 001 and click on it. 
“What?” You whisper, and your heart seems to pound erratically against your chest. You don’t want to believe in his words, but your inner turmoil states otherwise. And so you proceed on, your trembling fingers typing on the keyboard, before you finally succeed in logging in.
The screen displays files that have been arranged in rows. Your eyes search for the aforementioned file before you spot it near the corner. Your hand moves the mouse on the pad to click on it, but once it does, a pop-up webpage appears, requiring you to enter the passcode. You lean back against the swivel chair as you await his next instruction, but minutes have passed and you receive zero notification.
With an impatient huff, you decide to take charge and type in the passcodes you have in mind, but none of them is the right one. Right after your third attempt, you become startled at the warning popup that you have exceeded the number of attempts. Your phone chimes again, and when you look over, his contact shocks and alarms you.
HEESEUNG: Are you asleep, sweetheart? I’m on my way back, and I have a little surprise for you. You’ll see the surprise once you wake up.
“Shit.” You mutter under your breath before deciding to forgo everything Anonymous has instructed you, despite your curiosity about wanting to know what sort of content the mysterious file contains. It even remains lingering in your mind as you are cocooned in your fleecy blanket before you drift off to your deep slumber, uncertain of what tomorrow awaits you.
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“We’re the ones who organised the event, and yet they’re the stars of the show.” Jake expresses his clear disdain towards the four familiar elders from afar, who are being surrounded by the other alumni as well as their fellow knights. “Maybe we shouldn’t have invited them.”
“You’re right.” Sunghoon chuckles darkly, leaning his back against the chair leisurely with one leg crossed over the other. His callous eyes penetrated into his father’s face. “Maybe I should’ve drugged his drink and killed him.”
“Easy.” Jay says, his eyes holding a warning as he looks over to an annoyed Sunghoon. “I wouldn’t have stopped you anyway, but Heeseung said to steer clear of trouble for tonight.”
Sunghoon snorts a chuckle as he reaches for his glass of wine. “What did I say? The guy would turn soft because of Y/N, and I was right.”
“He always has a soft spot for Y/N.” Jake tells them quietly, and the mention of your name pulls the strings in his heart as he has long since yearned for you. “He likes her even before the preying.”
“And you know this, how?” Jay inquires with a single eyebrow arched, his tone sounds mocking enough to elicit an irritation from Jake. “Right. You and Heeseung must’ve shared secrets during your one-night stand.”
“Fuck you, dude.” Jake cusses out but remains seated, to which Sunghoon is surprised at his lack of retaliation.
���Where is Heeseung, anyway?” The aforementioned disappearance dawns on Sunghoon as he darts his eyes around his surroundings.
“He probably went for a smoke break.” Jay shrugs his shoulders, one hand in his pocket while the other is holding his e-cigarette, before he begins to take a puff of the flavourful aerosol.
“Heeseung.” Jake spots him entering the main section of the soirée, sauntering towards them with ease while his face remains collected. “Where were you?”
“Got a little busy.” Heeseung’s vague answer doesn’t seem to bother them. He settles on a chair next to Jake, his body facing in the direction where his father can be seen in an amiable element. “Wanna know something interesting?”
“Don’t keep us waiting.” Sunghoon’s interest is piqued as he leans his body forward. “What is it?”
A smirk plays on Heeseung’s lips while his fingers are tapping on the table in a calculated motion. “It looks like our angel decided to be a curious kitten and got herself into trouble.”
“What did she do?” Jake inquires, his eyebrows softly knit together as he grows concerned for you despite knowing that you may or may not have broken a rule or two in Heeseung’s book.
Heeseung merely hums in response as he brings his glass of champagne to his lips before taking small sips. Thankfully, he is able to receive a notification from an app that allows him to view any point he wants since he has implemented hidden cameras in his office, or else he wouldn’t have been alerted of your transgression.
“Isn’t that Y/N’s mother?” Jay’s surprised inquiry draws their attention to the lady, whose body is draped in a red satin dress, as she strides across the hall as though she owns the place. There is such a stark contrast in the ambience she exudes compared to her daughter.
Sunghoon lets out a low whistle, his eyes raking all over her. “Damn. She looks even better up close. Now we know where Y/N got her looks from.”
“Fucking hell. Don’t tell me you’re into milfs?” Jake shoves Sunghoon roughly in the shoulder as his face contorts into disgust.
“What the fuck is she doing here?” Jay seems rather enraged by her presence, as evident in the way he clenches his jaw while his steely eyes drill into her figure. “She’s the reason why Y/N was a crying mess that one night.”
“Heeseung.” Sunghoon utters his name as they look at him. Although they are the leaders as well, they innately feel compelled to obey and heed Heeseung’s words.
Heeseung simply adorns a simper smile on his lips while he watches your mother engage in what seems like a polite conversation with his father and theirs, but he is no stranger to the longing and lingering stares exchanged between them. “Let’s sit back and watch the whole thing unfold, shall we?”
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When morning dawns, the fresh yet lovely fragrance pervading your nostrils rouses you before you flutter your eyes open and turn your head to the side, only to be greeted by the sight of a bouquet of roses at your nightstand.
Any remnants of somnolence dissipate as you are overwhelmed with a giddiness that blooms in your chest. So this was what Heeseung meant by his surprise. Eager to see him, you hop into the shower and freshen yourself up. It takes some time for you since you faced a little difficulty in choosing the casual dress of the day, knowing that Heeseung loves it whenever you wear one.
As soon as you reach outside his room, you see the door ajar before you knock to announce your arrival. “Hee?” Just as you slowly push open, the door swings abruptly, causing you to fall forward into him before he swiftly holds you steady.
“Seungie!” You greet him cheerily, your face beaming a smile that brings a fond one to his lips. 
“A good morning, indeed.” Heeseung chuckles before he leans down to press a gentle kiss on your lips, which you reciprocate with fervour. He pulls away from the kiss, his eyes softening with adoration as he caresses your cheek. “How was my surprise?”
“I love it! Thank you so much.” You grin bashfully before caving into your impulse to kiss his cheek. “How was last night?” 
“It was fine, but it would have been better if you were there with me.” His face burrows in the nook of your neck while his arms cage your waist as he embraces you. “Now I have all day with you.”
In all honesty, you should have kept your distance from him after what happened last night. The maelstrom of inquiries rampages within the confines of your mind; each is a task to grapple with. You refuse to believe that the anonymous person is him since it is illogical, but a part of you strongly believes that Heeseung is him, merely because he permitted you by giving you the access code and called you ‘pretty’ when only Heeseung loves calling you that, and so you back away from his touch.
You see him raising his eyebrow at you, probably noticing the abrupt change in the way you are being, but thankfully, he doesn’t comment on it.
“I’m hungry. Would you like to join me for breakfast?” You ask politely, trying your utmost not to cower from him as he steps closer to grab your hand.
“I would love to.” Heeseung intertwines your fingers, a firm latch that has you acquiescing. It is frustrating to you because, despite your current firm belief that he is the anonymous guy, another part of you indignantly wants to be closer to him.
As his arm slithers around your waist, you hesitantly allow yourself to lean into his touch. Maybe it won’t hurt for you to sinfully enjoy the intimate closeness with the guy who you believed had been the one who creeped you out all along.
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As time passes, you feel a sense of imminent loom, especially in the way Heeseung acts and how he plays his words in riddles that are awfully like Anonymous did, so it only amplifies your unwavering presumption. 
“Where are we going?” You ask as you trail behind him. You try to sound as if you’re curious, but in actuality, you recognise the route he is taking as he seemingly guides you.
“To the wonders of horror.” Heeseung looks over your shoulder with a sly grin. Again, you are thrown into the whirlwind of confusion at his words, which is evident on your face and brings out a lighthearted chuckle from him. “I’m kidding, but aren’t you curious about what the prohibited part of the palace holds?”
You give him a bewildered stare. “But you said that I should steer clear of the south wing.”
“And I’m permitting you now.” His words give you a whiplash. “Don’t worry. I’m obviously one of the authorizers, so you won’t be getting into trouble.” A smirk touches his lips.
It isn’t long before you finally reach outside of the familiar steel-built door. Despite knowing the passcode, you look away as he proceeds to punch in the code on the smart padlock before hearing the door automatically open.
You clear your throat as you fall in the same steps as him. “I didn’t expect for the inside to be this big.” You remark, feigning surprise in your tone as you ostensibly look around in wonderment.
“Only the knights have access to this place.” Heeseung informs you, and from the looks of it, he seems to believe in your ruse. “We have five meeting rooms in total. Four for our respective house meetings and one for general meetings, which we usually gather on every Devil’s Night.”
“I see.” You nod your head in understanding the new information. Heeseung proceeds to give you more information with each room you walk past. You shudder lightly when he points out the rooms where they store different classes of weapons.
“That’s my office.” Heeseung tells you as he points his thumb in the direction of where the familiar white door is. “Regular knights aren’t permitted to enter unless they want to face the consequences.”
You swallow down the lump in your throat harshly. “Oh.” is what you manage to utter. Thankfully, Heeseung doesn’t seem to notice the tremor in your voice as he proceeds to guide you in the other direction, where his house meeting room is.
You look away just as he punches in the code on the smart padlock before the door opens, allowing you to enter first. “Why did you bring me here?” You ask as you remain stationary in your spot, your eyes examining the room and noting how spacious it is with lavish ornaments, including velvet couches arrayed at each side, distinct designed masks and paintings hanging on the walls, and a fairly lengthy table with a glossy marbled surface that is in the centre of the room.
“Oh, you know, just showing you what’s in this room before you could get too curious again.” Heeseung states calmly as he saunters towards the table, whereas you go completely frigid at the undercurrent that coils dread in you. “This meeting room is soundproof.”
As Heeseung finally faces you, his hands are tucked in his pockets while he leans his lower back on the edge of the table, allowing you to get a clearer discernment of his demeanour that drains the colour of your face.
He knows.
“Why did you tell me that?” You inquire, and your voice shakes with a palpable tremor that brings him wicked delight.
“Because I would hate for you to lose your voice from screaming so much.” A fleeting smile of wickedness touches his lips before a shadow casts over his demeanour. Your pulses drum in your ear as you notice the drastic shift in his gear, as though he is an entirely different person. No longer is there warmth or affection in his eyes. Just stark coldness.
“Heeseung….” You utter his name in a splintered whisper, taking one feeble step back, as if taking prudence in any case he decides to chase you.
“Oh, sweetheart, you didn’t think that I wouldn’t know?” Heeseung adorns a cynical smile on his hauntingly cold countenance.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The words fly from your mouth without any warrant, causing you to bite down on the flesh of your inner cheek.
“You know exactly what I'm talking about. But I want to hear the confession from your mouth.” You can see it in his eyes—the storms raging in silence at your audacity. “Did you trespass on my office, Y/N?”
Not sweetheart, pretty, or even beloved. Just your name being uttered in a cold detachment that is painfully foreign to you.
The unsettling tension feels oppressive as it tethers your neck, while the fear that resides in your heart manifests in the uneven rise and fall of your chest. Every fibre of your being is telling you to flee him, but it is as though you are rendered immobilised under his piercing gaze that is fixed solely on your transfixed figure.
Goosebumps arise on your skin, and you swear that the cold temperature in the room has dropped to subzero. The longer the penetrating silence that shrouds the foreboding atmosphere in the room persists, the more reason for you to grasp the opportunity to escape, especially since he is further away from you and most probably unable to catch up to you.
“I asked you a question, sweetheart.” His once honeyed-dripping tone sounds eerily dark, with a rasp projecting in his husky voice, evoking involuntary yet familiar lust amidst the palpable terror. “Did you, or did you not trespass on my office?”
“I─” Just when you finally find your voice, it disappears again, prompting you to smack your lips shut and swallow the frightful lump in your throat. Your nails digging into your palms form the shapes of crescents as you clench your fist.
Confusion finds its way to plunge into the whirlpool of torrential emotions within you. You were certain that he was the anonymous guy who had been sending you all those texts, and you even followed his instructions. Could all of these be some sort of twisted test he decided to experiment on you?
Of course, it could be. After all, Lee Heeseung is as detrimental as his comrades.
You mentally nod your head to yourself, firm in your suspicion that Heeseung is indeed the anonymous guy, but you’re not about to let it be known to him.
“I didn’t─”
Heeseung scoffs out a chuckle at your audacity, his lips upturning a smirk while his eyes gleam dangerously with explicable sentiments that have you fully grasping the severity of your situation.
“What did I say about lying? Hmm?” He leans away from the table, his hands remaining tucked in his pockets, as each step he takes towards you is deliberate and stalking, while his dark, piercing eyes penetrate into your frightful ones.
Run! Your mind screams at you to run away from your predator before he devours you.
“T-That you hate liars.” Your timorous voice shakes as you finally regain mobility, now taking steps back. You see it in his eyes — how he finds great delight in your patent fear while the smirk on his wicked yet charming countenance remains.
“And yet you dared to lie.” He tuts, unceasingly stalking towards you, to which you grasp the courage and dash for the door. “Oh, sweetheart, why bother trying when you know you can’t escape?”
You ignore his taunting words from behind as you grasp the handle and try to pull it open, but the familiar sound of ‘ding!’ brings a dreadful realisation to you at the high probability that in order to exit, you must enter the correct passcode on the keypad, the same way when you two entered earlier.
Your pulses drum loudly in your ear as soon as you feel his ominous presence from behind, prompting you to make a run to the side, but his hands manage to seize you.
“Heeseung! Please!” You frantically implore him, struggling against him as the danger in the heat of his touch on your skin intensifies the churns in your stomach.
“Shhhh, sweetheart, look at me.” Heeseung attempts to calm you down as his grip on you tightens due to your persistent attempts to push him away from you.
A whimper leaves your lips as you shake your head, turning away from him, but his patience is running thin. “I said, look at me.” He roughly grabs your chin and forces you to meet his hauntingly beautiful eyes while his tone resonates down your core as it has you in a tight grip.
“I’m sorry for entering your office without permission.” You finally deliver your heartfelt apology to him, hoping that he will show you some clemency. Tears begin to accumulate in your eyes as you pleadingly stare at him. “I’m sorry, Hee. I won’t do it again.” 
“I know you are.” He says softly as he caresses your cheek, but even you can discern his hauntingly affectionate gesture. “Why are you crying, my love?”
You only whimper in response as a teardrop slides down your cheek, prompting him to gently wipe it away. “You’re terrified of me.” He states, his tone remains eerily soft while a sinister grin smears across his lips before he leans down to kiss your tear-stained cheek. “Mmhmm, as you should be, baby.” He rasps against your skin.
“H-Heeseung.” You weakly utter, attempting to push him away, but the trails of kisses on your cheek down to your neck enfeeble you as you find yourself succumbing to his dark allure that threatens to engulf you wholly.
“Now, tell me, what was your purpose for snooping around in my office?” He asks in between kisses before stopping at where his mark on your skin is. You shiver at the sensation of his sharp teeth grazing on your skin, a silent warning for you to choose your options wisely.
“I was just curious, I swear.” You try your utmost to tell him earnestly, despite knowing that it isn’t the entire truth. Heeseung seems to believe you as he presses a soft, lingering kiss on his mark before withdrawing from you. A hiccup emerges from your throat, and you stare at him remorsefully. “I’m really sorry, Hee.”
“I know, I know.” His hands descend to your thighs before grabbing them. “Jump.” He forces you anyway, which has you reflexively wrap your legs around his waist with his hand holding your waist while the other grips your thigh for more security before carrying you across the room where the centre table is.
It is as though he has bewitched you with some sort of spell, as you are unable to look away from his eyes. His dark allure continues to pull you into him as he sets you down on the table. His hand deftly supports your back from falling behind while your palms are pressed on the surface behind you.
“Heeseung.” You utter his name breathlessly, your mind fogging with lust and perturbation as his touch on your body feels igniting.
“Oh, sweetheart, you shouldn’t have lied to me, and even worse when you tried to run away from me.” He says softly, kissing the back of his mouth while his eyes drink in at how beautiful you look being trapped by him.
Your breath hitches in your throat. “But I told you I was sorry.” You whimper, hating how your desire for him is strong despite your fear.
Heeseung ignores your words as he takes you by surprise when he roughly pulls you to him until your legs go rooted to the floor. A gasp leaves your lips at how deftly he is manhandling you as he turns you around, one hand on your waist tight and fingers curling around your neck in a threatening manner.
Your heart pounds harder against your chest as you feel his hot breath fanning your earlobe. “It doesn’t change the fact that you made me angry, my love.” His honeyed-dripping voice lulls at you, akin to a siren serenading its victim.
“Oh, yes. I’m still very angry at you.” He whispers darkly into your ear before he forces your pliant body to bend down until your stomach comes into contact with the surface of the table.
“Heeseung, please.” You have no idea why you are pleading with him. For him to show mercy? For him to fuck you?
His dark chuckles send shivers down your spine as he presses his palm firmly onto your back while the other affectionately rubs your butt cheek. “Plead all you want. By the time I’m done with you, you know better than to cross me again.” You feel his hand moving underneath your skirt before his fingers hook around the string of your underwear. “What’s the safe word?”
“Pink.” You utter, flustered at the fact that you actually do want this. At once, he pulls down your underwear as it falls to your ankles. Your heart races in anticipation as you hear shuffles behind you.
“Sweetheart's been bad. You shouldn't have gone around snooping.” He drawls his words out in a tantalising manner, and you feel your cunt clench at the degradation that laces his tone. His fingers tangle in your hair before bunching the strands in a makeshift ponytail and pulling your head to the back with your neck arched.
“Hee….” You whisper fearfully, yet your cunt remains anticipating his cock. You feel the weight of his body pressing down on yours and his warm breath hitting the shell of your earlobe.
“My pretty sweetheart,” He presses a deep, affectionate kiss on your cheek before murmuring, “You’re going to be good to me, yeah?”
“Yes!” You nod your head frantically, wincing as his grip on your hair hurts your scalp.
“You’re not going to make me angry anymore?” He asks, humming while your pussy throbs when the tip of his cock rubs up and down in between your folds tantalisingly slowly.
“Yes, I won’t make you angry anymore.” You babble, needing him inside of you right now, before enticing him with a soft, whimpering voice you know he won’t be able to resist, “Seungie, please─Ah!”
Blistering pain shoots into your hip bones as they hit the edge of the table with the ramification of his shallow thrust, your walls stretching painfully to adjust to his girth upon the abrupt breach. Without any ounce of clemency in the delivery of your punishment, he begins to rail into your tight cunt, your walls are practically vacuuming his cock with each shallow thrust that hurts so good.
“Ungh! Oh, fuck!” You cry out as your body jolts forward violently, tears accumulating in your lower lids as he relentlessly hits it from behind with an insatiable vigour, while the sound of his balls hitting your jiggling ass echoes throughout the room.
“Dirty, naughty angel. You’re not supposed to enjoy your punishment.” Heeseung says in between ragged breaths, feeling the wetness along your fluttery walls lathering his cock. Without ceasing his thrust, he delivers a weighted slap on your ass, eliciting a painful yelp from you before he hears sobs spilling from your lips, fueling his lustful depravity into ruining you. “Cry all you want. I’m gonna fucking ruin you and your sweet, filthy cunt for as long as I want.”
“Heeseung! Please!” You implore in between broken moans that mingle with your cries, hating how dementedly rough he is fucking into you and how his demeaning words seem to turn you on as your cunt clenches around him despite the stinging hurt in your chest.
“What the fuck are you pleading for? Dirty sluts like you don’t get to plead.” Heeseung snarls coldly, yanking your hair harder as the action strains your arched neck. The lewd sound of your sopping cunt with each hard thrust he delivers draws a smirk on his lips, one that reflects his cruelty as he revels in the continuous moans and cries emitting from you that resemble a broken record. “Damn, baby. You’re really loving this, aren’t you?”
“No!” You shake your head frantically, but the motion only hurts your burning scalp due to the roots that nearly feel as though they are about to be ripped off. “Heeseung! Stop! It hurts!” You feel utterly helpless as the painful pull of your hair elevates your body, with your back hitting his chest.
“It hurts, yeah? Hurts so fucking good, hmm?” He nearly growls out in your ear as he releases his grip from your hair only for his hand to make its descent to your nub and rubs your bundle of nerves with the padding of his skillful fingers, amplifying your pleasure that hurls you to the new height of delirium. 
“Heeseung! Too much! Oh─ungh!” Incoherency leaves the moment he shoves two fingers into your mouth, allowing your tongue to feel the coldness of the rings that adorned his fingers as he slowly slides them further in, nearly choking you while tears cascade down your cheeks as you sob with a drool of saliva sliding from the corner of your mouth.
“Oh, fuck─” Heeseung throws his head to the back upon the arrival of his impending orgasm, the pad of his fingers pressing down on your tongue while his vigorous rub on your clit hurls you to the edge of your orgasm, urging you to cum with him. “Yeah, baby, cum with me.” He says so huskily, while the desperate yet teetering clench of your cunt around his ruthless cock is a telltale sign of your imminent climax.
You continue to sob with his fingers that occasionally choke you with how deep it is as he continues to whisper obscenity into your ear, intensifying your heightened senses while the knot in your tummy becomes unbearable. “Fucking take it. Take all of it, my perfect little cum dump.”
At once, Heeseung goes completely still with his hips snapping against your behind as he lets out a guttural moan, filling you to the brim as he cums into you while your aching jaw unhinges with your eyes turning white as your orgasm crashes down on you violently, causing your body to convulse in his grasp. 
Usually, Heeseung would shower you with compliments of how much of a good girl you are for him, accompanied by his kisses all over your face after the fucking, but this time, his action of slipping his cock from your cunt and his fingers removing from your mouth as he steps away from you feels coldly detached.
Nevertheless, you allow yourself to fall flat onto the surface as you regulate your ragged breathing while you feel the mixture of your cum with his slowly leaking out from your gaping yet pulsating cunt. Tears continue to stain your dampened cheeks as you snivel, hating that you have upset Heeseung and broken his trust.
“I’m really sorry, Hee.” You apologise again in between hiccups, unbothered by the aches and pain in your hip bones that probably formed bruises. Upon receiving silence, you feel defeated, whimpering as more waterwork erupts despite the exertion dawning on your body.
“I didn’t mean to.” You continue, your tone is filled with regret. “I was a fool for thinking that you were him. I thought I was being a good girl by following your instructions because I thought you were him. I thought you were testing me─”
You are cut off at the moment he grabs you by the arm, prompting you to raise your body from lying flat on the table. It appears that he really did a number on you as you find your knees buckling underneath you, but he steadily holds you against him.
“Who?” Heeseung asks sternly, his cold voice deepens the hurt in your chest, as does the look in his eyes. “What secrets are you hiding from me?”
You open your mouth to speak, ready to let him know the truth, but you are cut off by the loud chime of your phone in your pocket. With trembling fingers, you reach for your phone and grab it before unlocking your phone screen, only to be greeted with a notification from the one you totally expected.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: Great show, sweetheart.
“Him.” You utter in a whisper as you hesitantly show Heeseung the text he sent, uncertain of his reaction as you have your gaze lowered. Great show? What did he even mean by that?
Instead of a response, Heeseung takes you by surprise when he deftly carries you in a bridal style. You cling to him with one arm around his neck while the other cradles your phone to your chest. You look at him, noticing how eerily calm and collected his demeanour is. Reaching the door, he expertly punches the code onto the smart padlock with his finger while his arm underneath the back of your knees continues to support you.
“Are you still mad at me?” You dare to ask amidst the palpable apprehension at his haunting silence. You blink away your tears as you slowly lean your head onto his shoulder. Your mere gesture stirs something in his cold, tainted heart. “I’m sorry, Hee.”
A muscle pulses in his jaw, the entirety of his raging anger that brews storms in the wreckage of his mind is not directed at you this time. “I know.”
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The thought of Heeseung appearing in your mind impels you to splash the running water on your face for the third time, as evident in the splotches on your nightgown. You haven’t seen him since morning, and he wasn’t found anywhere in the palace, which only makes you feel more awful than last night. You recall not a single word spoken between the two of you as he brought you to your room, and he didn’t even inquire with you regarding the anonymous guy.
Just thinking about the anonymous guy genuinely peeved you, and yet, you hate yourself for concluding that you believed he was Heeseung. Clearly, you were gravely mistaken when that text came forth last night after the end of the whole Heeseung fucking his anger into you that knocked you out the instant you hit off to bed.
You heave a sigh as you rub your weary face. You know what? Fuck whoever he is. Staring at your reflection in the mirror, you give yourself a firm head nod. The resolution in your eyes affirms that you will block and delete his contact number. You proceed to exit the bathroom, keen to return to your bed since the remnants of last night’s exertion are palpable.
Just as you step outside of the bathroom, your heart nearly lurches in your chest at the sight of Heeseung seated at the edge of your bed. His outfit denotes that he must’ve been riding his motorbike. His hair looks slightly tousled, tempting you to run your fingers through his locks and adjust them, but you remain rooted to your spot, uncertain how to act next. 
When his eyes meet yours, you are taken aback by the stark contrast to how he looked at you last night. He is looking at you with an unmistakable longing, but as his eyes rake all over your body, adorned in an enticing laced nightgown that displays a teasing peek of your cleavage, the hinge of his jaw is locked while his insatiable desire for you swirls in his eyes.
“Why are you here?” The softness of your voice breaks through his impure reverie of you, prompting him to search for your eyes and notice the visible hurt in them.
Heeseung doesn’t respond to your question as he extends his hand to you, beckoning you to him. “Come here, sweetheart.” The familiar affection in his tone compels you to gravitate towards him, and upon reaching within his reach, he grabs your hand and gently pulls you towards him as you find yourself standing in between his parted legs.
Your heart flutters at the adoration gleaming in his eyes as he looks up at you. You can’t help but cradle his cheek as his eyes bore into yours, feeling as though he is staring directly into your soul. In this light, he looks pretty harmless — nothing compared to how he looks whenever he’s in the mood. “You left me alone almost the whole day.” You say, your tone conveys your dejection. 
“I’m sorry.” It is the first time he has ever apologised to you with such sincerity. Your heart soars as he leans into your touch with his hand above yours. “I won’t leave you alone again. Let me make it up to you.”
“It’s okay. I’m the one in the wrong for breaking your trust─” You stop mid-sentence when your sharp eyes catch his bruised knuckles with a few yet tiny cuts that seep blood. Your eyebrows softly knit together with concern as you grab his hand. “Hee, what happened?”
Your genuine concern for him pulls at his heartstrings as he watches you fuss over his mere bruise that feels entirely numb. “I had to intervene and help Jay because a group of them were provoking him in the bar downtown, and a fight broke out. You know how he is.” The corners of his lips curve upon seeing your pouty lips. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. We won anyway, and two of them more or less ended up in comas.”
It is as though you are accustomed to the nature of their penchant for violence, as you don’t feel disturbed by his last statement. Silence prevails as you contemplate, your teeth biting down on your bottom lip before you cave in. “Hee, I’m sure you have many questions regarding last night.”
“I do, but─”
“He called me sweetheart and pretty the way you do; that’s one of the reasons why I believed that you were him.” You cut him off in a ramble, wanting him to know the truth urgently. “He played his words in riddles, just as you do. It’s like he’s a carbon copy of you─”
You let out a small squeal when he pulls you down to him, causing you to fall seated on his lap with his arms caging your waist. “Sweetheart, the issue can wait.” His lips coming into contact with your bare chest just above your cleavage arouses the familiar heat in your core. “Besides, didn’t I say I wanted to make up to you for leaving you alone today?”
“But─” A gasp leaves your lips as he deftly has you pinned against the mattress within a matter of seconds. With your hair sprawled out gracefully in tendrils and your doe eyes staring at him with a concoction of confusion and lust, he knows he needs to show his adoration by pleasuring you.
“We can deal with that tomorrow or even the day after, but for now, let me just focus on you, sweetheart.” Heeseung whispers as he leans down, one hand beside your head to support his weight while the other seizes your chin before he presses a kiss so tender yet one full of passion, creating a sensory experience so overpowering that dispels any lingering doubts, questions, and distress as you reciprocate the kiss with equal fervour.
Your hands go winding through his disheveling hair with a movement of urgency as the kiss moltens with intensity, involving teeth and tongues clashing against each other. Feeling his teeth sink into the plush of your bottom lip, you moan faintly, getting utterly aroused, which has you locking your legs around his.
The make-out ends quicker than you like as he pulls away from your chasing lips, eliciting a whine from you when he moves away from you. “Seungie, please.”
“I know, pretty.” A smirk touches his lips as he stands by the bed, removing his jacket. Just like that, you are quick to remove your own pieces of clothing. You manage to admire his fine glory, shocking you again when you notice how buff his muscles are compared to the last time you saw him at Yeonjun’s pool party. In just a matter of seconds, he hovers on top of you with his lips urgently attached to yours.
“Oh, Hee..” You sigh pleasurably against his lips, feeling the pad of his thumb circling your clit skillfully as he decides to get you even more worked up. “Please fuck me.”
“Patience, baby.” Heeseung chuckles breathily, his lips ghosting over yours before trailing his kisses down your jugular. Your hips buck up at the sensation of his working thumb on your clit while his lips on your sensitive spot on your neck amplify the pleasure building up in you.
“Seungie.” You whine, getting unbearably impatient as he trails down further until he slots his lips over your perky nipple, sending you a jarring sensation at his tongue licking and teething your sensitive nipple. “Heeseung, just fuck me already.”
Heeseung releases your nipple with a wet ‘pop’, scoffing lowly before casting you a smirk. “You’re lucky I’m feeling nice tonight, pretty.” He looks down to grab his shaft to line up at your awaiting cunt before slowly pushing inside, your folds warmly welcoming him.
Maybe it has something to do with him being gentle, but the sensation of his cock thrusting into you slowly yet with such skillful precision that allows you to feel the drag of his cock against the wall so distinctly is phenomenal.
“Oh, Hee,” You moan out as you arch your back with your tits pushed out, which his eyes feast upon while he continues to fuck into you. Each thrust feels better than the previous, and there it is, hitting the spot that has you moving your hips in tandem with his. “Just like that, Seungie. You feel so good.”
“Yeah? I’m fucking you good, sweetheart?” His husky voice sends flutters to both your heart and cunt as it clenches around him, eliciting a low hiss from him while you moan loudly in response. Heeseung eyes down at the visible bulge appearing in your abdomen with his unrelenting thrusts. “Look at that.” He smirks, feeling his pride swell. “Sweetheart can’t handle my cock. Oh, I’m bound to ruin you, my love.”
“I can!” You insist vehemently before getting distracted by the padding of his fingers rubbing your clit, igniting your bundles of nerves. “Oh fuck! Hee! More!” You wrap your arms haphazardly around his neck, his warm breaths fanning above your lips as he leans down on you with his arm bracing next to your head.
“More?” He asks mockingly, his lips adorning a smirk, before he kisses you deeply, silencing your noise momentarily.
You hum against his lips before you pull away with your head thrown to the back as you moan, feeling the pleasure building to a new height of ecstasy. “Fuck me harder, Hee.”
“Harder? Like this?” Heeseung grunts above you as he delivers a thrust so shallow that it has your walls hugging him tight and pulsating around him. “Shit, sweetheart. You feel so fucking tight.” He thrusts into you harder just as you wished, satisfied to hear your sweet yet lewd sound of pleasure that is like a melody to his ears. 
His eyes fall on your parted lips, not being able to resist the urge to kiss you again, swallowing your moans. “Gonna fuck you all night, pretty.” He says so huskily into your panting mouth with your lips parted open, to which he spits into your mouth as you gladly swallow with a moan. “Oh, you are so perfect.” He coos, kissing your cheek deeply before trailing down his kisses to your neck while your heart flutters at his word. “Every inch of you was made for me. You were always bound to be mine.”
Despite how hard and shallow he is fucking into you, each thrust he delivers is a testament to the depths of the feelings he has always harboured for you. His hips snap against yours, pressing you deeper into the sinking mattress beneath your body while you moan wantonly as he doesn’t miss the spot that eventually hurls you to the brink of your orgasm. “Hee, I-I’m─”
“Cumming, yeah?” His husky voice sends vibrations to your neck as he rasps against your skin. “Come on, pretty. Give it to me.” He whispers, his hand descending to rub your clit, amplifying your pleasure as the knot in your tummy threatens to unsnap at any time. “Wanna see you wet the bed, baby. Squirt for me.”
You can feel it in your pelvis as soon as he commands, as though he wields the power to control your body. With a moan so pornographic emitting from you, white-hot ecstasy surges through you as you throw your head to the back with your body arched, clear fluid releasing from you as your body convulses uncontrollably under him.
“Damn, baby. Look at you go.” Heeseung chuckles breathily, smirking as he looks down at your squirting mess staining the bed sheet as well as his pelvis, and yet he doesn’t relent from fucking into you even as your slick arousal has coated his cock.
“Nngh! Seungie!” You try to push him away languidly, feeling overstimulated, but he grabs both your wrists and bounds in with one hand, placing them above your head. “Too much!” You whimper, your hips trying to escape him, but he growls out a warning in response before snapping his hips against yours, going completely still as he cums into you.
“Oh, fuck. Milk my cock just like that, pretty.” He moans as he feels your walls eagerly envelope his cum-spraying cock, dropping his head to your shoulder before peppering your collarbone with kisses. His teeth sink into your skin, eliciting a whimper from you that goes straight into his cock as it twitches inside your cum-filled cunt.
“Hee, please.” Tears prickle in your eyes as he slowly thrusts in and out of you. The squelching sound from your runny cunt is disgustingly lewd, but at the same time, it arouses you as your hips betray you as they move sensually in tandem with his.
“I’m gonna be loving you all night, beautiful.” His tone is filled with such affection and sincerity that it causes your heart to swell. He presses a deep, fluttering kiss on your cheek while his thrust doesn’t let up. “Worship your body all night as I should, because you’re just so fucking perfect. So perfect, and rightfully mine.”
“I’m yours, Hee.” You manage to utter before he captures your lips, sealing the entirety of your fate as he tethers you to his.
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“Thank you.” You thank the cashier with a smile, forgetting that she can’t see you due to the dark tinted visor of your helmet, before you grab the plastic bag from the counter and proceed to exit the convenience store in haste, worrying that you had him waiting for longer than you intended.
You spot him, remaining stationary as he is seated on his bike with his long legs on each side planted to the ground in an attempt to provide firmer stabilisation of his motorbike. Butterflies flutter in your tummy as he turns his head towards you, though you can’t see his face clearly with his visor obscuring him. The leather jacket looks taut on him with his arms folded across his chest, and his wholly black leather fit matches yours, making you feel giddy again at the fact that you look like a biker couple, with the exception that you’re his backpack girl.
“I’m sorry I kept you waiting.” You stand next to him, showing the plastic bag to him. The intercom built into your helmets allows you to hear each other clearly. “They didn’t have the snacks I was looking for.”
“It’s okay, sweetheart.” Heeseung reassures you before he grabs the plastic bag from you. “Turn around.” You do as he told you, hearing him unzip the black backpack that straps around your shoulder before feeling him stuff the plastic bag into it.
“Are we going back now?” You ask as soon as you mount his bike from behind him. Your arms cling around his body when he switches on the ignition, enjoying the warmth oozing from him.
“Unless you have a place in mind to go to.” Heeseung tells you before he proceeds to ride off, eventually picking up velocity that has you hugging him tighter as you ride against the strong, vindictive wind.
As it’s been more than an hour since he has brought you out for a nightly ride, you decide that it’s time for you to head back. Plus, the exertion that dawned on your body due to how he worshipped you and kept you up all night has yet to dwindle. It is a miracle how you can walk without having to struggle, unlike when you woke up earlier.
“No.” You rest your under-chin on his shoulder while your mere gesture fills his chest with delight. “Let’s go back.”
It takes approximately thirty minutes for you to finally reach their territory, with the opulent gate welcoming you as he proceeds to ride his way to the garage. 
All the while, you are lost in your thoughts that aren’t harbouring such distressing matters ever since you have decided to block and delete the unknown number, but not before giving Heeseung your phone to read the entire conversation from scratch. 
You recall how deceptively calm Heeseung looked when he noted down the contact number, most probably to track the anonymous down since he did tell you that he’d be entrusting the task to Jake, who has expertise in tracking and hacking anything or anyone.
Now, you feel as though the weight on your shoulders has been lifted off, bringing you a sense of tranquillity. You no longer needed to feel the annoying anxiety plummeting into your chest every time you received a notification from the anonymous guy. You feel better now that you know Heeseung was never him. In all honesty, you can’t wait for Jay, Jake, and Sunghoon to come back tomorrow, wanting to spend more time with all of them.
“Sweetheart?” Heeseung pulls you out of your reverie as he approaches you from behind, noticing that you have been staring at the massive grandeur of the water fountain from afar, which is situated in the centre of the encompassing entirety of the palace. “What’s wrong?”
Well, now that you have gained awareness that you have actually been zoning out, an idea pops into your mind, prompting you to look at him with a sheepish grin. “Can we play at that fountain?”
Of course, Heeseung will always give you what you want or need, and so with a soft smirk unfurling his lips, you grab his hand before proceeding to drag him with you, the enthusiasm oozing from you as you lightly skip in your steps while Heeseung only watches you with adoring eyes that soften his features, even as you splash the water at him, drenching his clothes.
 “Sweetheart.” He growls out in a playful manner, and the mischief in his predatory gaze sends an adrenaline rush through you. “You’re so gonna get it.”
You squeal just as he charges towards you, prompting you to run away from him despite the fact that the pool of water below you impedes your speed. Your heart nearly lurches in your chest as soon as he captures you from behind, his arms caging your waist as he lifts you up and spins you around with delightful giggles emitting from you.
Setting you down to your feet as the water splashes beneath you, soaking your pants, you turn around with the intention to push him playfully, but he latches his hand onto your waist to pull you closer while the other cradles the back of your head before he smashes his lips against yours, causing you to gasp softly into the kiss.
A symphony of yearning and desire is palpable as he deepens the kiss that deepens the electrifying connection between you and him, while the world fades into insignificance as you get utterly lost in the depths of your passionate kissing.
Just you and him, lips attached, souls intertwined under the moonlight with glinting stars across the divine celestial witnessing this tender intimacy.
▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰
The once-liveliness that brought home-filling warmth to the expanse of your shared dormitory with the girls who used to be your best friends has shifted dramatically and is now foreignly cold, with a discernible hostility emanating from the four of you. Distracting yourself from the agonising silence, your eyes flicker down at your forefinger that is now bare of your purity ring, which has long since been in Heeseung’s possession.
Honestly, you should’ve ignored Yunjin’s call that shatters the tranquilly of you being cocooned in Heeseung’s warm embrace with arms around your body as he had you settled on top of him earlier, but something nudged you into accepting her call only to receive a request from her for you to head over to your dorm. Of course, you were about to refuse, but there was a sense of urgency in her tone. Thus, you are now in a position where you are uncertain whether the three of them across from you really do hate you, because if they did, they wouldn’t have looked as worried for you as they do now.
“Whatever it is that you need to tell me, can you hurry up?” You don’t mean to sound impatiently abrasive, but your resentment for their hypocrisy remains a bitter taste on your tongue. “What is so important that you could’ve told me over text?”
“Because what we’re about to tell you is something that we should’ve revealed to you sooner.” Wonyoung’s tone is devoid of the usual warmth; her eyes are unwaveringly searching for yours. “We don’t want to argue with you again, Y/N. So please keep an open mind.”
You unclench your locked jaw, heaving a sigh as you run your fingers through your hair. “I don’t want to argue with you girls either. I’m tired. But if this is about you telling me to sever ties with them, then I’m leaving.”
“You can’t leave, not until you finally know about it.” Karina states vehemently, prompting you to look at her. The grim expression on her face mirrors the others’.
You frown. “Know about what?”
“About the girl who got herself caught up in a situation just as you are now three years ago.” Yunjin says quietly as she leans her back against the wall with her hands tucked in her pockets. “They preyed on her the way they did you.”
You can feel something painful pulling your heartstrings, but you remain silent as Yunjin continues, “But their preying on her lasted for a short period of time. Just like you, she was ensnared by their dark allure, and by the time she tried to escape, it was too late.”
“I’m sure you saw her, or at least have heard about her before.” Karina quips. “She used to be in Julie’s clique.” You remember Julie. She was one of the university's former queen bees, along with the others, before they transferred to another university for some reason.
“And the girl that we’re talking about? She was my best friend since high school until we drifted.” Wonyoung adorns a bitter smile while her eyes glisten with nostalgia as she looks at you. “Her name was Jinae.”
The name rings a bell to you, but you are not entirely certain. In all honesty, your freshman year was only filled with pure academics; you were always eager to head back to your dorm after classes ended just to hole up in your room and be surrounded by books. Rarely, or perhaps not once, were you tempted to get involved in gossip or anything that wasn't beneficial to you.
You release a sigh as you unfold your arms. “So what? If this is you trying to make me jealous because they shared a girl in the past, just stop. You can’t do anything to change my feelings for them.”
“This isn’t about a matter of jealousy.” Wonyoung shoots you a scowl. “This is about the grave danger you might be in, all because you blindly fell for their trap and even caught feelings for them.”
You try your utmost to quell your anger while maintaining a composed posture. “Pray tell, what danger awaits me? I’m still alive, aren’t I?” The mockery in your tone seems to tick them off as you continue. “And why the hell should I know about this Jinae girl?”
“Because we don’t want you to end up like her.” Karina says so somberly. 
“End up like her? What do you mean?” You ask adamantly, wanting them to get straight to the point. “Did she transfer to another university or drop out?”
“Worse.” Wonyoung looks down at her hands on her lap. “She’s dead.”
“It’s the exact reason why we’ve been trying so hard to tell you to stay away from them before you get caught deep in their trap.” Yunjin adds.
“What?” Your eyebrows knit together in confusion before the anger comes as you clench your fist. “So what are you implying?”
“Can’t you see, Y/N? She’s dead because of them!” Wonyoung exclaims, startling you with her outburst. Her eyes are glistening with tears, as though the pain of the loss of her ex-best friend is still fresh. “They killed her!”
“You’re kidding.” You release a sardonic chuckle, shaking your head while your heart begins to pound harder against your chest. “What the fuck, Wonyoung? You’re trying to scare me again by making up a story?”
“She’s not lying, Y/N.” Karina retorts sternly, eliciting a scoff from you. “Jinae’s dead because of them.”
“Oh, spare me your hypocrisy.” You snarl coldly at her as you find yourself rising from the seat. “You were the one who encouraged me to get closer to Sunghoon to make Jaeyun jealous in the first place! And now you’re trying to act like you’re principled enough to condemn me just as the rest, including my parents, did simply because I’m in love with them?”
“You’re in love with them?” Yunjin echoes your words, which finally register in your brain, causing you to falter momentarily, but you decide to brush the matter aside, not wanting to dwell on it any longer and analyse your feelings deeply.
You shake your head, feeling your hand tremble. “I’m not listening to what you have to say next. They may be capable of killing, but they wouldn’t kill someone, let alone a girl, without a reason.”
“So what you’re trying to say is that for as long as there is a reason, it is justifiable for them to kill anyone?” Karina gives you a disbelieving glare. “You’re so brain-fucked over your feelings for them, Y/N.”
“At least I’m happier now.” You snap back. “I’m leaving, and continue to ignore my existence the way you did before, because you were doing a great job at it!”
“Y/N! Please!” Wonyoung takes you by surprise with her urgency and desperation as she catches up to you just as you reach the door. Her hand latches onto your arm. When you turn around with the intention of lashing out at her, you flinch at the tears filling her eyes. “You’re right. I can’t do anything to change your feelings for them, but I don’t want to lose you either.”
A part of you softens up, nudging you to hug her, but the recollection of her words and her cold detachment surfacing in your mind impels you to yank your arm from her. Refraining from uttering another word at her or any of them, you swing the door open and storm off.
Reaching the elevator, you press the button harder than you intended to, and the tension manifests itself in the rising and falling of your chest as you breathe harshly. You refuse to believe their words, and you feel irate at the fact that they truly believed the four leaders, who are evidently head over heels for you, would do anything to jeopardise your life.
As you enter the elevator and press the first level, a disconcerting reality dawns on you, knowing how lethal they are beneath their distinct charms and profound dark allures that serenaded you in the first place. Your head begins to throb as your mind is battling a tempestuous of internal conflict and questions, each vying for their voice to be clamoured in the confines of your mind.
Sighing, you step out of the elevator, noticing not a single student in sight, which is odd, but nevertheless, you navigate your way to the exit. Just as you turn to the right corner, the entirety of the first floor blackens as the lights go out.
A frown pulls at your lips. Strange since the last time this happened was two years ago, resulting in you and your best friends huddling in one room and sleeping on the same bed since they, too, were afraid of the dark.
Your phone rings in your pocket, prompting you to fish it out and see Yunjin’s caller ID. You reluctantly answer her call. “Y/N? Are you still in the building?”
“Yeah, I know. The lights went out, but I’m already making my way to the exit.” You tell her curtly while you feel something feels off, as there is an eerie chill emanating in the dark atmosphere, spurring you to pick up the pace as your pulse drums in your ear. “Hey, Yunjin? I know we're not fine, but can you stay on the line with me for a bit?”
“What’s wrong?” Yunjin sounds worried by the alarming tone evident in your voice.
“Everything’s fine.” You assure her, and in the midst of it, you fail to realise the looming threat approaching you as you are in deep contemplation, your lips tucked between your teeth. “Yunjin, I─”
It happens too fast. One moment you’re walking in haste, and the next something so solid hits you from the back, resulting in you losing your balance before you find yourself falling to the ground as your skulls throb painfully. 
A wince leaves your lips as you clutch your head before goosebumps eerily arise on your skin. That is when you feel an ominous presence looming over your figure from behind, propelling you to scramble away from whoever they are. Their identity is wholly obscure with the all-black fit that seems to camouflage with the darkness, but the sound of their heavy-booted footsteps is unmistakable.
“Y/N?” You forget that Yunjin is still on the line, and frantically, you press the phone against your ear with your trembling hand as you try your utmost to fight against the pain.
“Yunjin!” Just as you call out for her, you receive another hit from the side of your head, causing your body to fall flat to the ground from the impact, rendering you paralysed with the heavy weight of your eyelids fighting valiantly to stay open.
The last thing you remember is your phone being snatched away from your hand and a piercing stab of a long needle into the side of your neck before darkness shrouds you wholly.
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silk-spun · 8 months
Text
did anyone else make the transition from being a young spencer lover to becoming wholly and outrageously obsessed with aaron upon entering adulthood? is it just the uhm.. certain issues. speaking or this a natural progression that we need to talk about??
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Simon (Zee) | Agent Of Change | Romantic
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Requested: Yes
You’ve been taught to fear the violent Zealots, so being around Simon makes you skittish. When you catch him in an act you wouldn’t ever imagine him in, you realise that he, too, is not who he once was, and perhaps that he might even become something more than a friend.
You trust Jesus - you truly, wholly do ever since He showed up in your village and performed the miraculous catch of fish on the shores of the Sea of Galilee. When Mary asked you to come along and follow Him, you didn’t hesitate for a single second. You had been there through countless wonders and had been witness to plenty glimpses of the Kingdom of God. Your heart was His.
So why then did you doubt when Jesus recruited a Zealot of all people to be part of the group? Certainly, outcasts were welcome with Jesus, but to keep a former assassin so close to home, wouldn't that just spell trouble?
Your father had always sown fear into your heart with his stories when you were young. He had told you of a friend of his that turned dark after joining the Zealots in his younger years. Your abba had told you that whatever you’d grow up to be, a Zealot was not something you should strive to become, for it would destroy your heart and your empathy.
It carried over into adulthood, and you’d rather steer clear from violence altogether. Although you didn’t get the idea that Jesus was out for any revolt against the Roman Empire, calling an actual assassin to join the ragtag group of followers was something that made you anxious. What were His plans? What if the Zealot would turn on Him if he found out that Jesus wasn’t what he was hoping for? These questions plague your mind in the evenings and nights, though you are too afraid to ask them. 
“You seem troubled,” Mary comments one morning during breakfast after a night in which you didn’t get a lot of sleep. You shrug in response, accepting the apricot she holds in your direction.
“I’ve just not slept well.”
“I mean no offence, but you seem like you haven’t slept well in weeks.” Mary’s voice is serious and her brow furrows as she inspects you, not releasing the fruit that you are trying to take from her. “Talk to me, (Y/n).”
You sigh, shaking your head slightly. “It’s… It’s nothing.”
Not putting up a fight, Mary releases the apricot, and you give her a tight-lipped smile. “Look, I’m sorry, it’s just not something… Not something I want to talk about, okay?”
The two of you take a seat at the fire, where a few embers are still glowing orange. Thaddeus pokes them alive with a dry stick and tosses it into the slowly awakening flames. 
“I don’t mean to put any pressure on you.” Mary breathes, “But I can see that it bothers you greatly. Why not bring it up with Jesus?”
“Well, I would, but… He’s so busy all the time. I just can’t get myself to ask Him to make some time for my silly questions.”
As if on cue, Jesus enters camp, and gives you a warm smile as a greeting. “Good morning, (Y/n), Mary, Thad. Did you sleep well?”
“Decently.” Thaddeus replies, and Mary nods in acknowledgement, whereas you indifferently raise your shoulders in a shrug. Jesus bites His bottom lip thoughtfully and looks at you, squinting slightly at the low sun that hangs behind you in the sky, warming your back. 
Before Jesus can inquire about it, Simon the Zealot walks into camp, sweat on his brow. “Shalom.” You involuntarily scoot closer to Mary whilst the others greet him, looking at Simon wearily as he takes a cup of clean water and drinks half of it right before pouring the rest of the contents over his head to cool down. With bated breath, you watch how he prowls around the fire and takes a piece of fruit from the nearby basket.
Jesus clears His throat. “(Y/n), you look like you’ve got something on your mind. Have you had breakfast yet?” 
You look up and swallow thickly, showing Him the apricot that you have not yet bitten down into. Jesus nods towards the edge of camp. “Come on, let’s go on a morning stroll, okay?”
Of course you will not second-guess His command, and so, you rise, wiping your hands down your skirt and walking towards Him whilst maintaining as much distance as you can from Simon the Zealot, who seems a tad estranged by your avoidant behaviour. 
Jesus says no word as you catch up with Him, yet is the first to break the silence when you reach far enough for nobody else to hear you.
“Now, tell me what is going on.” 
The Son of Man sees right through you, so beating around the bush is not an option. You let out a shaky exhale, almost embarrassed to admit it. 
“I’m just… Concerned.”
“About what?”
Brief silence before you softly whisper: “The Zealot.” The words leave you with such aversion that you are taken aback by it yourself, and you feel your face heat up for confessing it in such a way. 
“I see. And why are you concerned about Simon?”
You look at Jesus from the corner of your eye. His expression is calm, with His hands folded behind His back, as he patiently walks with you over the sandy roads, a few ibex grazing in the distance as the land comes to life to prepare for the scorching heat of noon, animals finding shade wherever they can. 
“Because… He… He is a Zealot, Master. They are trained to kill people!” Offence is audible in your voice and Jesus presses His lips into a tight line, humming.
“I know what Zealots are, yes.” He explains, “And my ways are not the same as theirs.”
“Which is what worries me! What if Simon turns on us, hm? What if he… What if he turns on You one day because You are not the kind of Leader he was hoping for? The friend of my abba became a Zealot, and he turned dark. What are the rest of us against a skilled mercenary? We’re pretty much defenceless, and—”
“(Y/n).” Jesus strictly states, cutting you off. The pair of you halt in the middle of the road, not a soul around you. “From your months of walking with Me, what have you learnt?” 
You swallow thickly. “Well, that You heal the sick and lame as well as–”
“That is not what I mean.”
Although He is rebuking you, it remains kind in nature. Still, you feel like crying all of a sudden out of sheer embarrassment. 
“Well, that… That…”
“What about Matthew, hm? What was his former occupation?”
You take a deep breath. “He collected taxes for Rome.”
Jesus nods and smiles softly. “And what did I say about him?”
Slightly tilting your head in thought, you mull it over for a second. “That… He isn’t a tax collector anymore?”
“Right.” Jesus tells you, “So…?”
“So what?”
“So what does that mean for Simon?”
Shaking your head, you fail to answer it. 
Jesus inhales deeply. “Does that not mean that Simon, too, is no longer what he once was? If Matthew is no longer defined by his past, then why should Simon be held against a different standard than he? They don’t treat you based on your past, either. All of my followers are equal in that regard.” 
A thousand protests suddenly shoot through your mind, and a few threaten to poise themselves onto your tongue – that Matthew and Simon have vastly different pasts, that the Messiah has been a crucial part of Simon’s whilst he still was a Zealot so that it might pose a problem, that Simon is so much stronger than Matthew physically speaking – but you don’t dare speak them upon looking Jesus in the eye, Who patiently stares at you, waiting for you to respond.
“I suppose.” you finally breathe. Jesus hums in thought and steps closer to you. 
“I have a special task for you, (Y/n),” He says. “I want you to closely observe Simon in the coming days. Just look at what he does. Consider what touches you, what moves you, and what about him still scares you. Then come back to Me so that we can talk about this fear, and you will see that you will start to warm up to him. Do you think you can do that?”
Slowly, you nod. “Of course, Rabbi. If You want me to do that, I will.”
Jesus puts a hand on your shoulder and smiles. “You’re not doing it for Me. You’re doing it for yourself, to face your own fear. Keep that in mind.”
“Yes, Master.” you tell Him. He squeezes gently before letting go, gesturing towards the road.
“Good. Now, let’s continue our stroll, for the morning sun is way too nice to pass up on. Besides, you still haven’t eaten from your apricot yet.”
Per Jesus' request, you keep an eye on Simon in the days that follow. You remain at a respectable distance, not wanting to draw unnecessary attention, let alone from the Zealot himself. 
Mary suspects something, but nobody else seems to notice your behaviour. You hang around the parts of camp where Simon is, too, and watch him from the corner of your eye whilst tending to your daily chores.
Simon loves to exercise, you come to learn. Of course you knew he liked staying fit, but you find out that he also likes a more meditative sort of exercise, with stretching and breathing in certain ways as a means to warm up for the day. 
He enjoys eating fruit more than anything. He steers clear of bruised apples and likes to polish the bright red ones on the hem of his tunic to make them even shinier before he eats them.
Another thing he often does is pray – out loud, with his hands opened up to the heavens, as if to receive blessings. You had never expected a Zealot like him to be so grounded in his faith, even though many practices of the Zealots were violent. It is quite surprising to you, truly.
And so, a few days pass. Every now and then, you catch Jesus’ eye, Who then smiles at you as you carry out the task He has given you. 
“I told you that you would warm up to him eventually.” Jesus whispers as you pass Him by one evening whilst you are on your way to your tent, and you smile slightly, always trusting in His word. 
“Perhaps I’m getting there,” you finally acknowledge, “It will take some time.”
Jesus hums. “Of course. Shalom shalom, (Y/n).”
“Shalom shalom,” you greet back, and head into the tent of the women to get ready for bed. 
The next morning, you wake with the sunrise before anyone else is up, for even though you have been catching up on sleep ever since your talk with Jesus, you’re still struggling a bit with insomnia.
You slip out of your bedroll and stretch before throwing on your clothes and slipping out of the tent to catch some fresh air, and in a nearby bush, you deem yourself far away enough from everyone in order to relieve yourself. 
However, right before you can do so, you hear a sound nearby, and you’re glad that you are in time to pull your robes back into place, for Simon jogs past, doing his morning exercise. You shrink in the shrubbery and peek in between a few branches to see what he is up to. He does his usual breathing exercises as well as some stretches. Despite you not necessarily trusting him yet, you would be lying if you’d say that the way his muscles are rolling right now is an unpleasant sight. Quickly, you shake the thought.
You know that you can’t linger for too long and are just trying to contemplate taking a quick leak before sneaking back to your tent lest he spot you, when a small whine suddenly fills the air. 
Simon seems to pick up on it, too, and immediately stands up straight, on full alert. Looking around, he frowns, trying to find the source of the disturbance, when his eye catches something that falls out of your line of sight. You crane your neck to see him walk to something on the ground – something appears to be moving between the leaves – and you watch as he crouches down to check it out. 
“Oh, goodness, look at you,” he mutters, “You poor thing.” He scoops it up in his hands and inspects it closer, then looks up to see where it came from. An empty nest is lodged between a few branches of the tree he is standing next to, and it clicks. A baby bird must have fallen from it and is now loudly squeaking in Simon’s palm.
“What happened to you, little one?” he croons, and you cannot help the small smile at that tugs at your lips. “Did you fall? Were you pushed out of the nest? Where is eema-bird?” 
The snort of amusement escapes you before you can stop it, and immediately, Simon looks in your direction, narrowing his eyes. You feel all colour drain from your face at the realisation, and when he slowly walks towards you, you know that there is no way that you can get away unseen. 
“Who is there?” he calls out. Sighing deeply, you gather all the courage you can muster and stand up straight when he is only mere steps away, a bright blush on your cheeks. A few leaves are stuck in your hair and you quickly try to pick them off. He looks at you with a raised brow as you stand there a little awkwardly, embarrassed. 
“I–I was just relieving myself, I didn’t mean to spy on you!”
Simon lets out a slightly entertained sound and smirks. “You’ve still got a leaf in your hair.” You try to take it out, but ultimately fail, and he reaches over for you to do it, causing you to blush even brighter than you already are. 
“What do you have there?” you dare to ask, nodding at his hand, in which he is holding the baby bird. He slowly opens his fingers to reveal it and you let out a soft noise at how tiny it is. Rather ungracefully, you push your way through the shrubbery, your tunic catching onto a branch here and there, but you soon walk up next to him to examine it a bit closer. “It’s so small!”
“It must have fallen from the tree,” Simon says, “I think that if I place it back now, its mother may reject it.”
You hum in acknowledgement. “Well, we cannot exactly rescue it, either. Should we bring it to Jesus?” 
Simon takes a long look at the bird. Up close, witnessing him so gently care for such a small creature, you feel a strange tingle inside of your tummy, as if you’re only now noticing how attractive the Zealot actually is – former Zealot, you correct yourself inside your mind — and you shift back and forth on your feet nervously. 
“I don’t know. Regardless of what we do, there is a huge risk that it will die. I think it would be best for us to place it back into the nest anyways, for there is a slim chance that its mother will return and not reject it.” 
You nod in agreement and walk with him to the tree where the bird has fallen from. With a few swift movements, especially for being able to use only one hand due to carrying the chick, Simon reaches the top quickly and meticulously places the creature back into the collection of branches, leaves and fluff. “There you go, little guy.” 
Another strange butterfly tickles your gut, for seeing him in this light makes you wonder how you could ever have disliked Simon, and you swallow thickly as you watch him climb down, dusting down his trousers as he arrives back next to you. 
“There we go.” he states, “That takes care of that.”
“I sincerely hope its eema will accept it still.”
Simon shrugs, “We will never know, sadly. Hey, (Y/n), how come you’ve never talked to me?” The question comes so unexpectedly that your mouth falls open, and you can barely find the words. 
“I… I was… I held prejudice against you based on what my abba told me about Zealots when I was younger. But… None of us are what we once were. Jesus’ words, really. He actually insisted I’d get to know you better to face that fear.”
Smiling a bit, Simon raises one eyebrow. “And? Am I that scary after all?”
You laugh lightly and shake your head. “Not really.” 
Chuckling, Simon plucks the final leaf out of your hair and drops it onto the ground. “That’s good to hear. Let’s get to know each other better, okay? I barely know a thing about you, too.”
You flush and cast down your gaze. “I shouldn’t have been so avoidant.”
“That’s alright,” Simon reassures you, “I was like that once, too. Let’s only look forward from now on, okay? We are trying to do our best to follow Jesus and to be a little bit more like Him.”
You smile and nod. “I like the sound of that, Simon. Thank you.”
He mirrors your expression and gestures towards camp, where people are audibly waking up. “In that case, I suggest we are going to grab a bite to eat together.” 
Peckish, you agree to that, walking with him back to camp. 
From a little distance, Jesus is enjoying a fig whilst observing you two, smiling kindly at the scene. You have yet to come to Him to evaluate the task He has given you, but He is certain that without it, you’ll be just fine.
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ual · 1 year
Text
the unknown.
for the past four years, i have tried to have a baby.
but let me start further back than that. when she was 17, my sister had a baby. my family lamented, gnashed their teeth, tut-tutted, shook their heads. she ruined her life, they said. she hadn't even graduated high school, they asked: what would become of her now?
well, i'll tell you what become of her: a wonderful mother to two - now grown - incredible humans. one of the strongest people i know. a woman with an endless desire to care for and nourish others. i still cannot wrap my head around her bravery as a teenager, looking at the future ahead of her, knowing entirely what she wanted, ignoring the naysayers and barreling into the unknown. her decisiveness is something i've always admired.
at that time (i was 12), i was horrified to think of childbirth. to be honest, i still am. the idea never sat right with me - giving up my body to the chaos of it all, potentially dying, the potential for unbearable loss, the pain, the absolute uncertainty. it was something i never ever thought i wanted to endure - impacted somewhat by seeing the response of my family to my sister's young pregnancy - but also wholly a notion and feeling of my own. when i was the same age my sister was when she got pregnant, i asked a doctor about getting my tubes tied (of course, they wouldn't do it. i wasn't old enough to make those kinds of decisions, they said).
so i spent the majority of my young adulthood fairly certain that i would never get married (that's another story for another time) and absolutely, soul certain that i would never have a baby. that was not the path for me. absolutely not. no fucking way.
but then i met my husband. i have have grown older with him, 5 years of dating and then marriage, and now 10 years of that. the most wonderful man i have ever known. someone so nurturing and so kind... his compassion and care for others consistently knocking me back. someone who would make an unbelievably wonderful father, coupled with my own growth, aging, entering my thirties... that biological clock just tick tick ticking away. so we tried. to my own surprise, we were trying. casually. just to see. a toe dipped into the unknown future ahead of us.
and you assume (if you've ever spent the majority of your life using various methods of birth control to avoid a "mistake") that it will just happen. but so often it doesn't. a year passed, then we entered a pandemic and we stopped trying because, wow, how do you try to bring a human into the world when the world is falling apart all around you? but things eased somewhat and we tried again. then I went to the doctor - had horrible painful xrays, ultrasounds, blood tests that made me nearly pass out. it was the blood test that said it: you waited too long, maybe, or you just didn't have what was needed from the start.
so you see. there's a thing about stepping into the unknown, no matter how casually. you can't just close your eyes and jump blind (well, maybe you can, but i certainly can't). in the darkness i needed to imagine at least the vague shape of the next thing to stand on. what would it look like? how would i manage? i pictured myself in this new reality, rolled it around on my tongue to get a feel for it. and in the imagining, without even realizing it, it felt like the only place left to stand.
our casualness, before i knew it, soon became very serious. options were weighed, pros were considered and cons were proven. what would it take? tens of thousands of dollars, medical intervention, going to another country to afford said medical intervention, what was i thinking? all for this thing that i had spent the majority of my life trying to avoid at all costs? my mind felt like it was not my own, my longing became despair, my thoughts a laundry list of future regrets and past mistakes. i needed this, i needed to jump into this unknown. it became all consuming.
it became a sort of fantasy: the person i would be on the other side, all new and shiny and chrome. obliteration of the self, rebuilding as something different, with a distinct purpose, a compass. a mother. i didn't fear the chaos any longer, i craved it.
i paused.
i slowed. i am slowing. i am remembering who i was when i took that tiny tip toe into the darkness of the unknown those four years ago. i saw a paths spread out in front of me then, beautiful paths full of possibility, love, tenderness, family, growth. but then suddenly that one path became brighter than the rest and i started to forget there were ever any other options.
but in the slowing the other paths have come back into focus. my life, my wonderful life, with my husband, with my dog. our plans and our dreams. the things i wanted and longed for before this new unknown presented itself to me. that the feeling of lack was a lie, because i have so, so much.
i have realised that what i was wanting was a path that was set for me, something to anchor me and tell me what to be next, on the cusp of my 40th year on this planet. no turning back. the absolutism of giving myself over to something out of my control. and there is nothing wrong with that... but it is perhaps not the best reason to bring a new life into the world.
so i have paused once again. talking with my love, support from my friends, countless hours sitting and thinking harder than i've maybe thought in my entire life. and realising my reasoning for longing so deeply has more to do with my own internal self and uncertainty than with anything else, and that i don't actually have to do this. that i can let it go, and find my own path without the anchor and absolutism. and my god, it felt so freeing. i felt this weight lift off my shoulders, and saw a new unknown present itself to me, less like a darkness and more like a blossom.
i don't know what the future looks like exactly. but i know i feel such a relief to let go and let it be what it will be. there is no loss - only love - and a new wild, beautiful unknown.
thank you for reading.
– lau
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vilecovet · 2 years
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@astraeusx​​​  ;  one would not be so arrogant to assume that the supernatural bore constitutions not easily swayed by human-crafted liquors. while this was truthful, it did not mean full immunity. not even he, a man with mixed blood that dated back to the very creation of the universe, could claim himself wholly immune to the impact of a drink too many. three drinks was not enough to topple him, but thirteen?
perhaps astraeus should have chosen better judgment in his choice of how to spend his evening. perhaps he should have gone straight to his hotel, rather than decide to make this poor bartender his talking companion of the night. perhaps he should have done these things—but he hadn’t. 
‘ i just don’t get it. ‘ aster watched the ice melt slowly in his glass, the remainder of his fourteenth drink untouched. ‘ i do everything they ask, plus a little extra, and they still give me shit—are all parents like this? holding your creation over your head as a threat to obey? ‘
it was a rhetorical question. astraeus really didn’t want the answer, not when he already knew what it was. head lolling, one blink, and then two—followed by a squint. 
‘ you’re pretty cute. cute enough i bet your parents treat you nicely. ‘
again, rhetorical—he was actually beginning to think this wasn’t even the same bartender he had begun his evening with. while his vision was beginning to swim, he was certain the person originally behind the counter was a bit taller, and had a different face shape. the suggestion that perhaps they had traded places due to his uncomfortable presence did not even present itself in his thoughts. especially not when the other leaned in close, likely to try and take away the drink he certainly did not need. 
impulse control was at another station. with a half tilt of his head, lips brushed against a cheek terribly soft—damn, what was their skincare routine?! he would have to ask. ask after this budding headache felt merciful enough to leave him, and promptly, after his act of harassment, he thud his forehead directly to the smooth bar top. 
‘ … could you call me a taxi…? ‘
PROMPTED ! 
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     WELL. SAMAEL WAS CERTAINLY NOT EXPECTING such a fruitful encounter. No one has ever dared to enter his intimate space, let alone lay a kiss on his cheek. ( And for Death to be cute ! ) This patron is quite generous, both in reassurance and business. While his questions were evidently rhetorical, the angel ponders hypothetical answers. 
     Parents. 
     Certainly, he calls God his Father, but all angels know it is only a term of endearment, of respect for His absolute authority. Familial love has never manifested itself as an acute need. He once thought only humans were susceptible to such longing, but it seems all of Father’s creatures can be negatively affected in its absence. 
     How fascinating. This demon has clearly reached adulthood and allegedly possesses every faculty needed to take agency over his life. . .yet he refuses. 
     “  Tell me, my affectionate friend, do you loathe your parents?  ” Again, slim fingers curl around the shot glass and pull it away, dragging across the bar top. “  Shall I take them to the other side, so you will no longer feel the brunt of their burden?  ” 
     Hm, a taxi. He could do so. Sam eases off a step stool and rounds his bar, approaching the dark-skinned male. ( How pretty he is ! ) “  I jest. No harm will come unto them. I do, however, fear that you will make yourself sick in a moving car.  ” Taking a seat on the neighboring stool, Sam creates a large glass of ice water and pushes it in front of his guest. “  Can you drink this for me~?  ” 
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jcmarchi · 15 hours
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Metaphor: ReFantazio Preview - A New World Of Fantasy - Game Informer
New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/metaphor-refantazio-preview-a-new-world-of-fantasy-game-informer/
Metaphor: ReFantazio Preview - A New World Of Fantasy - Game Informer
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Whenever a legendary trio of game creators known for a single franchise embark on a new IP together, it rightfully captures a lot of attention. That’s exactly what director Katsura Hashino, art director Shigenori Soejima, and composer Shoji Meguro, the trio best known for the beloved Persona series, is doing with Metaphor: ReFantazio. Though it derives inspiration from many of Persona’s most prominent elements, Metaphor is a wholly new experience disconnected from the Persona franchise.
Taking place in the fantasy kingdom of Euchronia, Metaphor tells the tale of a world riddled with prejudice. The main protagonist is of the Elda tribe, and during the earliest stages of my demo, his fairy companion, Gallica, expresses shock at how out in the open the prejudice against him was. The two then talk of a fabled world where true equality exists and fantasize about such a society. One of the things people love about Persona is its willingness to tackle challenging topics other games might veer away from, and Metaphor seems to carry that same quality into its narrative.
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“What we’ve tried to do in the past with Persona and in this game… both of them are a little bit different from each other,” Hashino says. “In the past for games like Persona, it’s not like our goal was to challenge difficult social problems. What we were really trying to achieve was, ‘We have a story about a young, kind of naïve person growing up and entering into the world of adulthood, and that’s not an easy thing to do. There are a lot of challenges you will face. There’s a lot of ways that you need to grow in order to do that. So by facing difficult problems in those characters’ lives, they can grow into being who they are and figure out who they want to be. That was our goal with Persona. So, it’s not like not like we have this problem we want to cover; we have this character we want to develop, and since it’s set in Japan, it was a method for us to explore these characters’ personalities, by having them grow up in a Japanese society and facing problems in that way.”
“However, Metaphor is not really so much about that sense of growth. It’s more about how we can explore the concept of human imagination and human feelings and thoughts, and how we can learn from these experiences to grow and be better people,” Hashino continues. “That’s what we are more looking at in this game. For Metaphor, what we’re trying to think of was going as broad as we possibly could. We are trying to achieve something where we’re talking about things that affect people of all times, all ages, everywhere in the world. That’s why we focus on this concept of fear and anxiety, because I don’t think there’s anybody at any time who hasn’t lived with some fear or anxiety.”
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Combat feels like the next evolution of the turn-based system seen in the Persona games. Most encounters begin with a strike on the enemies in the field before entering the game’s primary turn-based combat mechanics. If you stealthily strike the enemies, you can land multiple hits on them, knocking their health down considerably; you can even kill weaker monsters without entering the turn-based battle.
Metaphor also incorporates a line-based formation system where you can choose which of your party is in the frontline and who hangs back. Those in the back take less damage, but their melee attacks are weaker, while those in the front often receive the brunt of the attack but can also land their own attacks at full strength. During my time with this system, I found the best results came from putting magic wielders and healers in the back, and the more physical warriors up front.
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In battle, characters can also summon Persona-like creatures called Archetypes. These powerful entities leverage magic based on traditional fantasy tropes like Knight, Warrior, and Seeker. While they’re strong on their own, Archetypes can also perform team-up attacks called Synthesis. These moves allow one character to lend their strength to another to perform more powerful and affecting attacks. During a boss battle I played, I used Synthesis attacks to great effect, with some applying different elemental effects and others spreading out the damage to all enemies instead of just one.
Speaking of elements carried over from Persona, Metaphor uses similar UI as Persona 5 Royal, giving it an unmistakable style. Flashy menus and gorgeous art accentuate the trademark Soejima style, while the music by Meguro replaces his hip-hop and jazzy rock-inspired soundtrack from the Persona franchise with tracks that feel more inspired by war chants.
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“When I first approached the design for this game, I thought, ‘I personally love fantasy. I will do my best to throw away everything I’ve done to date and just design a fantasy character and challenge myself with a new style,” Soejima says. “What kind of ended up happening was that it felt really fun – I had a lot of fun doing it – but I was coming up with something that was kind of an imitation of styles that I had seen. I was thinking, ‘Well, what can I bring to the fantasy genre? How can I add to it and use what I know, use my own style, and bring my own riff on it? So, that was part of what helped inform my design for it. A lot of time with Persona and the other games, we are making games set in the real world, but it’s not to try to make something that’s cool in a game; with my art, I was trying to make something that’s cool in the real world that people like and enjoy, and then bring it in to the medium of the game. For this one, as well, I didn’t want to just go, ‘Okay, what do people like about the fantasy genre? Let’s just make more of that.’ Instead, I tried to bring out more of what people think are cool from other areas and then put that into the game.”
Though I’ve always appreciated Persona’s real-world setting, Metaphor’s fantasy kingdom, narrative threads, and appropriately grotesque beasts pulled me in and made me excited to experience the next evolution of this team’s work. I’m excited to get my hands on the final version when it launches this October.
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mylifeinfiction · 2 months
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Lost Man's Lane by Scott Carson
You rarely get answers to questions that you don't ask.
Well, damn...
Lost Man's Lane is a whopper of a coming-of-age story. The nostalgia that fills these pages is overwhelming, and the wisdom with which it allows this book to explore the harsh truths of entering adulthood is as effectively specific as it is undeniably universal. Pairing this coming-of-age tale with a supernatural mystery allows Scott Carson (pen name of Michael Koryta) to ingeniously analyze the fluid line between fact and fiction without ever diminishing the book's overarching coming-of-age themes; family, friendship, responsibility, home and identity.
Fiction or fact is actually up to the reader. The right novel at the right time might tell a deeper truth than a biography.
Carson's prose is effortlessly readable, putting us straight into the shoes of our main character, Marshall Miller. I love a good, small-town coming-of-age story to begin with, but having been only three years younger than Marshall, in 1999, made the nostalgia hit home significantly harder, and created a staggeringly immersive reading experience. Add onto that a cast of immensely likable characters and a high-concept, wholly unpredictable supernatural murder mystery? I found it extremely hard to step away from this book, even for food or sleep.
A lot of the most important things occur to you too late.
Seriously, Carson has created something truly special with Lost Man's Lane . While this is primarily a coming-of-age story, the supernatural thriller elements are so effectively and economically delivered that the change of atmosphere is only ever jarring in ways intended, filling the pages with an unbearably suspenseful dread that strikes with a venomous bite.
The haunting power of any ghost relies not on entrances into our world but on almighty absences from it.
Despite the plotting not always going in the direction I was hoping it would, it always goes in the direction the characters take it, staying true to them and their world. And the supernatural elements, while occasionally unclear, also fit the world of the book, and the thematic resonance that lies within them hits like a truck in the final act, giving Marshall and those around him closure that's as honest as it is complete.
"Nobody is promised a second chance at getting home safe. You will learn that."
9.5/10
-Timothy Patrick Boyer.
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existentialmagazine · 3 months
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Review: Olivia Booth’s newest single ‘Wasted’ offers fierce rock-pop attitude and next-level confidence in a quick-paced sound
Inspired by acts like Arctic Monkeys, Sam Fender and Bastille and backed up by a band of close friends and fellow students at BIMM Manchester, Olivia Booth has been making her mark on the music scene since her 2022 debut. As she began creating while young, her work reflects many of the experiences that come with love, finding yourself and entering adulthood, and her latest ‘Wasted’ may be the most relatable to anyone and everyone.
Exploring the destructive aftermath of finding out a partner has been cheating, ‘Wasted’ follows the thoughts of a woman scorned and deserving of better, processing the realisation that her precious time and energy has been wasted on a situation that could’ve been put to bed long ago. With an experience that many can likely pin to their own experiences, it’s no surprise that despite being burnt, ‘Wasted’ rises from the ashes as one hell of an anthem that’s ready to pick itself back up and take on the world. The sound moves quickly to match the speeding thoughts and rising adrenaline that comes with the curtains falling from a false reality, swaying through eclectic beats and a distant guitar riff for a sound that races to make sense of it all. Olivia’s powerful vocals are really the main focus of it all though, powerfully climbing into a higher range and confidently simmering into sultry lows that keep her self-assured head above water, even when the rocky waves try to pull her under.
The chorus lets off an outburst of bottled-up sound, fiercely dancing through thunderous drums, shaken percussion, vigorous guitar strums and bright piano-like keys, absolutely enclasping you in a performance that’s high energy and unforgivingly bold. Taking a few moments to pause and allow the catchy hooks to engrain their way into your mind before jumping back on and off, Olivia ensures you won’t be able to get enough. You wouldn’t know she was anything other than completely in control either, singing some of the most empowering lines like ‘don’t forget to thank me first’ that allow her to regain a sense of importance that was stripped away, knowing her worth and not allowing anyone to lessen it. A slither of attitude seeps through the recounting that ‘you’re telling me that it’s fine, you wanted me on the side’, completely bewildered that anyone could possibly think she was undeserving of being loved wholly and in isolation.
Penning this partner to be a ‘master of deception’, it’s clear that ‘Wasted’ is just quite frankly over it, freeing herself of these emotions and finally ready to move forward as the icon she is. But not before letting the world know what happens if anyone does her wrong, ‘I find your secrets, I found your bed’, a clear indication that they made their bed elsewhere and they need to make peace with their poor decision to lose her. It’s loud, in-your-face and also quite a bit of fun too, with Olivia Boost impatiently ready to make her mark and leave her message. Keep listening here, you won’t regret it.
Written by: Tatiana Whybrow
Photo Credits: Unknown
// This coverage was supported and created via Musosoup, #SustainableCurator.
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jdlopes777-blog · 6 months
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DAY - 1 - MAJOR RESET - World War 7 within myself. DEC 2nd 2023 ,
RESTART - from World War 6 in JANUARY 2023
I’m 38 , and I about to hit 39 , this is a everlong struggle to be a better SPIRIT , SOUL , inner man , the outer man has had dominion over my temple. I belong to Jesus Christ almighty.
Fighting the good fight of FAITH and WELL BEING. ITs been tough just to be here now typing this. Im either typing my life on TUMBLER , or writing it down on my journal.
My life has been bitter sweet , I made decisions that led to where I stand today. I do believe wether terrible painful 😞 decisions The Lord doesn’t mean no harm. FREE WILL can make you or break you. Even to your grave.
I have intoxicated my existence to the point of death. I tried to take myself out when I was 27 years old and my last breath never came at 5:30am. The enemy is real but why can I not let that hit home and register and a new MIND SET be born at 27.
I had a chance at 17 , 20 , 21 , 24 , 26 , 27 , 29 , 31 , 33 , 35 , after those catastrophic events war at within myself all due to external and internal factors deriving from bad circles of influence and decisions that infected my soul by un equally home myself to another human being and the 🌎 world.
I am like a land , I’m like a wholly land the entire world wants to take over and run over and destroy it because I am the RIGHTEOUSNESS OF GOD in Christ Jesus for what he has done for humanity. Took the punishment for all of us all. I have been made righteous for what HE DID , not anything of me. For my penalty of sin is death and Christ tells step aside son , this is not your battle but MINE.
Receive it , it is my GIFT 🎁 to you , GRACE…..
I was born in DEC 12th , 1984 , according to my mother and gramma a 4am baby before the sun came out. Gramma takes and took amd stole the center stage , per the family in Managua Nicaragua I was the baby of the BARRIO , along with my baby girl side quick NINOSKA , a girl baby born around the same time.
At 17 she was the one for me , so I THOUGHT , ….she was beautiful to me. I thought this at a point in my time I was in my prime , healthy , virgin, away from the toxic world that was ever so fast unraveling at light speed with technologies that I had yet to be introduced to so at that very moment all I had was 📝 📄 PAPER and PENCIL .
She was my sweetheart PEN PAL , from NICARAGUA the barrio I was born in MANAGUA , and me in WHITTIER , CA - Fred C NELLES. Youth Correctional Facility. A little more back , this all started from when I was 10 years old , my father lifelessly beat me for at least once every 2 weeks , a savage beating with a shiny leather belt with a piece of metal from a business suit any opportunity he had , sometimes 3 times every 2 weeks since I was 5 years old.
WHY DAD ???
Father of mine , sent my mom to learn English , and go to adult school , my mom was about 22 years old , and she only spoke u less she was spoken to. THE SANDINISTA way , the very thing that gave me ASSYLUM , to enter the USA , as a political ASSYLEY , the very thing we left that country for was the very thing that my father brough with him to 🇺🇸 AMERICA in 1987 , Los Angeles then Santa Ana OC , in CALIFORNIA.
The derailment of my childhood which then DOMINO EFECTS into my teenage hood troubles and eventually ADULTHOOD. My father prior to this was a HERO 🦸‍♂️ in my life like any child should grow up into am adult and say. ………….
Before I go ( I DONT BLAME my father anymore, I have grown up to accept my up bringing. and realize that it was tragic but like a song I heared my SWEDISH MADIA , The Lord has helped me and is still helping me get through it all as he goes before me everytime anywhere good or bad.
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The song above has a BAR that says , SHOW em how you backflipped from TRAGIC
Show em how the struggle made MAGIC.
THE NUCLEUS of the journey to a KINGDOM of TRAGEDY, TRAGIC KINGDOM ,
It was 1989 , had to have been a week day I was already getting ready to start KINDERGARTEN at FAIRHAVEN ELEMENTARY in Santa Ana , CA , My father was a powerful self employed man , a prosperous salesman. He lives a FRUGAL lifestyle. My father one afternoon , in a studio apartment we lived in , had just recently paid for my moms younger sister to come to USA to live with us.
She was probably 18 years old fresh low hanging fruit from the tree 🌳 virgin probably. While my beautiful poor mother was at school learning to speak English , something my father and her should have been doing together. The very thing that could have made my family into BILLIONAIRES. My mother was a woman of HONOR , gracious , humble , natural beauty , with a cute squint , a queen 👸, my father threw away a BILLION dollar club ticket to BRENTWOOD , CA over a an AFFAIR with my moms younger sister , my father tells me and the twin younger brothers of mine. Kids get ready in 15 minutes. We are going to the park.
Those 15 minutes were longer or so I recall , so I went inside the room the only room in the apartment that had only one restroom a tiny studio. There he was having sexing with her in the bed my mother and father shared. The ONLY bed in the place. I saw it and I remember it like it was yesterday. The door was unlocked , and I saw them both naked , fucking , FORNICATING , or ADULTERY , destroying a married Front row seat ticket. VIP pass I helped myself to ,
You can’t tell a CHILD wait for 15 minutes!!!! A child won’t give you not even a a minute. But yet I remember waiting for at least 7. I was obedient in life up to that point. I was alway trying to please my dad and be the best kid for him , I would look for him up that point. Like any 5 year old child does today. I was forced to grow up quick at the speed of life up to that point.
I’m
There seeing it for at least 4 seconds , my world got hit with a NUCLEAR WEAPON of full destruction, I COULD NOT UNSEE the scene. Now my father becomes the enemy , a terrorist in a child life . My father died that moment in my life. He died and I died too , the moment he walked out and beat me to death a savage beating. The first time I had ever seen the BELT that would torment me the next 7 years of my life a TRIBULATION of 7 years , I am in awe 🫢 to think 🤔 about it and I type and reflect this very moment here now in the present.
for the next 7 years I lived in a prison , a child like prison , locked up and the key was thrown away In fear that I might say something to my mother when she came back. It was a very EXPENSIVE price , blood 🩸, sweat 😓 and tears 😭. To keep me intimidated , full of fear , afraid , I couldn’t be a child have fun be loud , run around , make friends , go out and play. While I noticed other kids play in my neighborhood I couldn’t. I guess that’s what led to my first attempted SUICIDAL idea in my life. When I was 6 years old after many beatings , I jumped off a second floor BALCONY. from that same apartment ,
Wether I was actually trying to kill myself or not subconsciously or consciously , I would hang out in that balcony which was the only thing I was allowed to do. It was like 5 by 12 , place crowded with junk. I played alone there UNSUPERVISED , I thought I could fly , how could I have not thought of tue danger in falling , well I did , next thing you know I get up , walking all the way around and climbed the stairs bleeding 🩸 from my CHIN I think I could have snapped my head back , but truly THE LORD avoided the loss of life. I know this now looking back.
I was a WONDERER , I would wonder off , to get away from my father , I was afraid of him a real fear. So I would purposely wonder off and get lost in public , and then I would get scared of him finding me so then I would return I was not brave enough to follow though running away.
Anyway …. Back to the situation at hand I just almost killed myslef , and I walk back up bleeding tore up from my chin because I landed flat on my stomach on concrete below from 20 ft , I had to climb the balcony and stand in top on the balcony wall , in order to get maximum flight time of 20ft or so or more. 24 ft max , ( I’d have to go the crime scene and measure to be exact ) …….
I open the door amd as soon as my mom saw me I CRIED , and she calls the ambulance and 911 and all that chaos. I went to the hospital , NUMB , I’m not sure what my mother told the paramedics , but the hospital wanted to know what happened. I remember the doctor asked me if I was trying to be like Superman or Batman. I wish I was either so I could have kicked my fathers ass raw like he did to me. I got 12 stitches under my poor child chin and with NO ANESTHESIA probably because they were I afraid I had a like a concussion and the hospital rather let me feel it then put me to sleep and risk not waking up.
I cried like I was dying I felt every stitch going in and out. They had to tie me down on a board as they tried to stitch me up and my mother had to help along with nurses. Then I got passed that , it came to pass , then I was hospitalized for like 2 or 3 maybe 5 days until results came in that I was clear from severe trauma to my head. I still had one more person to deal with , my father , I could see him in the door of the hospital room door with his arms crossed , I wanted to cry 😢 not because I was happy to see him , but because I knew he wanted to whoop my ass for that stunt.
And so this is how It all began , I wish I had good news , but this is not a happy story , it’s just a moment in my present time to remind myself where I have come from and what I have survived , and that life is not over and it won’t end here NOW , the Lord has proven to me that after trying to take my own like 3 or 4 times maybe 5. HE never allowed it and hasn’t yet to happen , he hasn’t called me back ,
HEAVEN HASNT CALLED ME HOME 🏡, the Lord is not done with me here on earth. I’m back flipping from tragic things. And making struggles into prosperous things with a PURPOSE for HIM. His word says that the work HE started in me HE will complete , the moment I’m called by HIM.
Imagine living like that for at least 7 years until came times that I was being a menace to myself and others , I was confused , I was sent to NICARAGUA , at 7 to 8 and was dropped off I another monster being replaced for another , it’s like JOSEPH sold to slavery by his siblings , I can relate being una foreign land and not knowing anyone , and this is where I meet my baby queen at 7 years old , first time swing her after my father had fled the FEDERAL investigators , for his fraud schemes , we fled the country in 1992 to 1993 , drove Two cars and packed them with as much stuff as we could , and drove away to NICARAGUA 🇳🇮 in car through MEXICO , with my mother , my mothers younger sister , whom is now PREGNANT with child , my father seed , something my mother DID NOT know about , I wonder what my aunt told my mom to make her not suspect the AFFAIR , stay tuned for that story , in another chapter.
There were some other things that happened to me as a child in this country under the care of my gramma now but even a loving 🥰 sweet woman could not spare me from more trauma , I nearly died of a skin cancer like desease , I got like a skin cancer , and by the GRACE of God I did not die. For some reason I attracted creeps , But aside from all that , it was Summer of 1992 , and I spent Christmas of 1992 in Managua under another fear of someone hurting me. I got home sick and I missed my mom. For the love of God why can’t I be with my mom under her arms hugged and feel safe. without a creep after me in MANAGUA , and another tyrant like my father watching every little thing I was doing.
The only good memories I had was with ERNESTO a boy friend of a girl called ROSA a daughter of NINOSKAS mom , the Doctor NINOSKA of the Barrio. I was a child who needed LOVE and I thought I was in love with this girl. That was short lived. My parents left back to USA to face the hard truth and reality of their actions with the government. And they took with them the pregnant woman my moms younger sister , who is close to giving birth to CHRISTOPHER LOPEZ , my little half brother , half cousin. He was born in FEB 2nd 1994 , my fathers SECRET CHILD.
I came back to USA 🇺🇸 Never knowing when I would see NINOSKA again. I came back in time to jump on the second grade with Ms HETZEL , at FAIRHAVEN Elementary , Now my aunt was public enemy in my world # 2 because now she was mistreating me afraid of the same thing because she knows I know I saw her stupid naked ass , losing her VIRGINITY to my father , God only knows how many times they fucked , aside from that one time I witnessed.
Back to blood 🩸 sweat 😓 and tears 😭, clashing heads with my father and my moms younger sister and my mom never aware of any of it , bottled up inside for YEARS !!!! at least 7 in the presence of those 2 evil 👿 people. I was DAMAGED GOODS , at times the savage beating would welt my skin and trigger the shape of the belt with blood marks , had to hide those. Most were on my back and arms and even hand whenever I would beg my father crying 😭 to stop it hurts. Grabbed me my one arm and whooped me with that belt from another.
By now at 7 years old I have so many issues. Sexual and physical and mental and emotional.
The rest is for another time …….. lots more to talk about that…from 1992 to 1999 …..
Then from OCT 20 th 1999 to FEB 14th 2005 at the age of 20…. and on …………
BACK TO TODAY …….. 12-2-2023 …………..
story to be continued ……………
DAY 1 is today , and I pray to the Lord I am given the strength to ABSTAIN , from yesterday mindset …..
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dreadfamed · 1 year
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ON ANISIIA .
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in the early years of the 11th century, peasants living in a small village in the southeastern reaches of what would one day be called kievan rus’ found a small child within the ruined remains of a wagon. any valuables were long gone, and the child’s parents lay bloodied and crow-picked by the side of the road. despite the horrors of the scene and the chilling air, the child did not bawl, but lay quietly, looking up at them with wide, dark eyes. the thin blanket about her could not have staved off the spring evening’s chill, yet she remained warm to the touch when they picked her up.
they called her a miracle.
a young man, oleksei, took her home to his wife. their five children had each perished before their first birthdays, and the couple had long since given up hope of any child surviving to adulthood. if this child faced the same fate, then so be it, but perhaps, just perhaps, she was a blessing god-sent, an answer to his prayers.
she was not a normal child, they discovered as she grew. she seemed immune to the rules that applied to others. she might skip barefoot in the midst of winter and return home without a trace of frostbite. more than once, oleksei returned home to find a wolf haunting the forest near the house. a few times, he entered to find one curled about the child. and then, as she grew older, there were the unexplained circumstances: fires which sprang up, storms which swept in out of nowhere, sunlight which shone down upon her but left all others in darkness, broken bowls which she presented to him now whole once more.
though oleksei and his wife loved the child, they feared her too. terrified of the vengeance the town, or the priests might unleash upon her should they decry her ‘witch’, oleksei found it necessary to punish the girl for her transgressions. the slightest sign of abnormality brought down upon her a fist or switch. as she grew, the signs quieted then disappeared as she learned to govern the power she possessed.
with no recourse to teaching, she fumbled her way through mastering her own magic in secret, a magic of wordless spells and the sheer transference of her will to actuality. by the age of fifteen, she found her power intoxicating. by nineteen, she believed there was nothing she could not do if she set her mind to it. the well-being of others, the lives of animals or people... these things came second to the testing of her abilities. she attempted feats of power simply to see if she could.
she was nineteen when she met klaus. a few miles south of the village, she chanced across a pair of strangers who moved unsteadily, half-drunk. they stepped into her path, and when she declined their inappropriate suggestions and made to walk past . a blow cast her to the ground. she reached out without thinking, her power closing invisible fists about their throats. as they gasped, fingers clutching and scrabbling against their own skin, drawing forth red weals, she snapped their necks. the fell to the ground, and as she rose a prickling sense at the back of her neck alerted her to another’s presence. she spun to face the interloper and drew her power in tight about her in preparation, but something stayed her hand. it was not the gesture he made, the extended hands intended to convey no intent to harm, but rather the raw power of a form wholly unfamiliar. 
she was all he admired — strength and determination, raw power and force of will, an indomitable spirit. in him she found a kindred spirit, unique and alone and powerful. with her, he forged a new conception of self, embracing the strength he had tasted when he destroyed esther for all she had done. together, they were worse than either alone, but for all their selfishness, all the abandon they displayed in search of what they desired, towards each other they were warm.
klaus has married once in a thousand years, and it was then and to her, after the pagan ways of rus’. they could not stay, however: rumours had spread, those whispers that had cried witch in anisiia’s adolescence louder now than ever, for she had grown defiant and careless. and mikael, ever at klaus’ heels, could not be far. 
desiring immortality, anisiia bound herself to klaus, and while he lives she cannot age nor die, for all her body might starve and sicken. for four hundred years, she came and went from his side. so volatile were they that their fights tore them asunder, forced them their separate ways until their tempers had quieted and they might return to one another. in the end, klaus, in a fit of jealousy, turned a young witch girl anisiia had taken under her wing into a vampire. it was the last of their quarrels, and between them they leveled an entire city. this time, they did not find their way back to each other. klaus stole took with him her grimoire, however, and in its pages the spell she had been working on, one that would one day undo esther’s curse.
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Fae Aging, Lifespans & Reincarnation/Revival
Note: This is lore specific to my original works/rp canon, not general information for people to share so do NOT reblog it.
Fae belong to the classification on semi-immortal beings. This means that they can be killed, but otherwise will live indefinitely if no fatal physical harm befalls them in the course of their lifetime (though this is an extremely rare occurrence and usually applies only to fae who do not stray into the mortal world often)
Physical Injury and Vulnerabilities:
While fae can be killed, it is more difficult to do so by most conventional methods at the disposal of humans.
Some conventional methods do work. It just takes longer for them to take effect.
Effective means of killing fae include:
Use of pure iron - either by piercing, ingestion or poisoning from extended exposure from direct contact with a fae’s skin
Poisoning - There are a number of botanicals that can be employed in the poisoning of fae, though the dosages needed to be successful are far greater than that which would be toxic to humans, so it is rare for this to happen
Destruction of the brain or complete severing of the spinal cord - Fae can be fatally shot in the head or beheaded to kill them, much like most living creatures
Likewise, fatally injuring their heart will kill them, though the level of damage needs to be significant and irreparable
Extensive physical damage to their body as a whole - i.e; Catastrophic injury that causes multiple system/organ failure, crushing injuries, multiple fatal piercing injuries, critical levels of internal bleeding, etc.
Burning - Needs to be extremely high heat for an extended period of time, like being locked in an incinerator or something similar
Drowning - Non-water-based fae may be vulnerable to drowning, though it takes significantly longer to achieve than it would a human.
Fae can also die from a serious heartbreak/extreme emotional trauma/losing the will to live - Especially fae who are generally more physically and emotionally sensitive in general.
Fae with mixed blood may additionally be vulnerable to the same things as whatever their fae DNA is mixed with. By the same token, they may also be less vulnerable to things that can harm/kill full fae, which is why some kinds of fae tend to lean toward mixing bloodlines to ensure the survival of their offspring.
Physical Aging:
From birth to physical maturity, fae age similarly to humans to help them blend in seamlessly in the mortal world, though they may learn to talk and hit other developmental milestones before their human counterparts.
After they reach maturity/adulthood (usually in their 20s), they can then choose whether their physical aging process ceases entirely, or continue to age at an appropriate rate alongside humans until they decide otherwise.
Adult fae are also capable of aging and de-aging how they look at will, just like any other glamour they may use to alter their appearance.
Dormancy:
Fae do not specifically die of old age.
They can, however, opt to enter into periods of dormancy that appears deathlike in that their vital signs slow and diminish to almost nothing. This is more like hibernation than true death, though, and may be employed as a means to allow for fae in the mortal world to pass time before assuming a new identity without raising suspicion.
Fae “Reincarnation” and Revival:
Not all fae can return to life after experiencing actual physical death, though there are several ways in which some can.
These are wholly tied to genetic traits carried by specific bloodlines though, and only fae belonging to those bloodlines will have that ability, though the traits are recessive and not every fae from that bloodline will inherit the ability.
There are three main types of the ability:
True Reincarnation
False Reincarnation
Revival
True reincarnation is as the name implies. After physical death, the soul of the fae will be completely severed from their previous body and transfers to a new one, becoming a completely different person from a physical perspective. They may or may not retain memories of their previous existence, but they will retain their magical affinities/abilities
This is seen as the most common expression of the trait.
False reincarnation is when the fae experiences actual physical death but the soul remains connected to the body and can return to it after an extended period of time - often days, though potentially longer. The fae will retain their physical appearance and abilities, but may experience a period of amnesia after returning, though this state is temporary and they will eventually regain their memory.
Revival is closer to dormancy in that, although the fae goes through the appearance of physical death in having no registerable vital signs, the soul does not leave the body at all, and the fae will regain signs of life quite quickly after - in anywhere from a few minutes to several hours. Revival appears to be much more of a survival response in that the physical body essentially “plays dead” until the threat to life passes.
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taeyongfmd · 2 years
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headcanon: solo career (2017)
word count: 683 words
2017
“trouble maker”
recently of age and with two number one songs under his belt as both a member of polaris and a songwriter, and with ash itching to promote as a solo artist, dimensions entertainment decided to test the waters of ash’s solo potential by putting him in a collab single with a (recently) former girl group member from another company.
ash was tired of people trying to fit him in the baby-shaped box of maknae and fans had noticed he’d grown into his looks and developed more confidence on stage, earning him a warm reception during their recent “blood, sweat, & tears” comeback. there was more demand for sexiness from him than there was cuteness at that point and dimensions wanted ash to establish himself on the scene as a full-fledged adult before they threw him into anything else individually.
ash participated in the writing and production of “trouble maker”, as was necessary to build on his songwriter-producer image from the group field into his solo career, though his creative control was limited as dimensions structured an impactful breakthrough onto the scene as a name outside of polaris. “trouble maker” exceeded expectations commercially and put ash on the public radar as a confident adult.
the success of “trouble maker” led to a near-immediate greenlighting of the solo album for which ash had been pressing.
“help”
before he made his official solo debut in the final quarter of the year, ash introduced himself as a true solo artist with “help”.
the song was nothing like “trouble maker” had been, eschewing sexiness and choreography for a vulnerable track about his struggles with his own mental health instead.
the song was the first reveal of his music as a soloist outside of the realms of polaris or “trouble maker”, where he’d had specific concepts to adhere to.
the portal single was released on october 10, world mental health day. ash donated all of his personal profits to organizations for treating and de-stigmatizing mental illness.
the music video, influenced by ash’s suggestions, focused on actors telling stories instead of his face.
the portal didn’t get as much attention as “trouble maker” had, but it earned him a few new fans who had written him off as just another idol sustained by sex appeal.
the inclusion of a gay couple in the music video prompted a more explicit statement of support some time later in an interview for a magazine cover story.
phases
his official solo debut came a week before his twentieth birthday and phases channeled the more stripped back and personal side of “help” rather than the vibes of “trouble maker”. phases gave listeners a look into the emotional side of polaris’s maknae. where “trouble maker” had been an announcement of his adulthood, phases was a goodbye to his teenage years in the final days of 19.
the album visuals were more simple, like the sound, a result of both purposeful aesthetic planning and a limited budget. a one-shot video of driving down a city street served for the first track “in the car” and a live clip on a rooftop was released for “moon, 12:04pm”. a casual music video of ash performing in a bohemian eatery complemented “dance". all three were filmed on location in london and accompanied the dreary story-based video for “who do you love?” and the one shot green screen video for single “untitled, 2014”. they reflected the fleeting moments of peace and normality behind the rising young star, moments he was unaware at the time would all but vanish as he entered his twenties and found not only success as a solo artist, but global recognition with his group.
the wholly self-written “untitled, 2014” was another hit, his first fully solo, and its confessional style earned him some more minor respect from some outside of the idolsphere. his style was different enough from polaris to give him an identity of his own, but not so far off he alienated all of his pre-existing supporters. ash ended promotions for phases and “untitled, 2014” with the title of promising young soloist.
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neonbitemarks · 2 years
Text
Fae Aging, Lifespans & Reincarnation/Revival
Note: This is lore specific to my original works/rp canon, not general information for people to share so do NOT reblog it.
Fae belong to the classification on semi-immortal beings. This means that they can be killed, but otherwise will live indefinitely if no fatal physical harm befalls them in the course of their lifetime (though this is an extremely rare occurrence and usually applies only to fae who do not stray into the mortal world often)
Physical Injury and Vulnerabilities:
While fae can be killed, it is more difficult to do so by most conventional methods at the disposal of humans.
Some conventional methods do work. It just takes longer for them to take effect.
Effective means of killing fae include:
Use of pure iron - either by piercing, ingestion or poisoning from extended exposure from direct contact with a fae’s skin
Poisoning - There are a number of botanicals that can be employed in the poisoning of fae, though the dosages needed to be successful are far greater than that which would be toxic to humans, so it is rare for this to happen
Destruction of the brain or complete severing of the spinal cord - Fae can be fatally shot in the head or beheaded to kill them, much like most living creatures
Likewise, fatally injuring their heart will kill them, though the level of damage needs to be significant and irreparable
Extensive physical damage to their body as a whole - i.e; Catastrophic injury that causes multiple system/organ failure, crushing injuries, multiple fatal piercing injuries, critical levels of internal bleeding, etc.
Burning - Needs to be extremely high heat for an extended period of time, like being locked in an incinerator or something similar
Drowning - Non-water-based fae may be vulnerable to drowning, though it takes significantly longer to achieve than it would a human.
Fae can also die from a serious heartbreak/extreme emotional trauma/losing the will to live - Especially fae who are generally more physically and emotionally sensitive in general.
Fae with mixed blood may additionally be vulnerable to the same things as whatever their fae DNA is mixed with. By the same token, they may also be less vulnerable to things that can harm/kill full fae, which is why some kinds of fae tend to lean toward mixing bloodlines to ensure the survival of their offspring.
Physical Aging:
From birth to physical maturity, fae age similarly to humans to help them blend in seamlessly in the mortal world, though they may learn to talk and hit other developmental milestones before their human counterparts.
After they reach maturity/adulthood (usually in their 20s), they can then choose whether their physical aging process ceases entirely, or continue to age at an appropriate rate alongside humans until they decide otherwise.
Adult fae are also capable of aging and de-aging how they look at will, just like any other glamour they may use to alter their appearance.
Dormancy:
Fae do not specifically die of old age.
They can, however, opt to enter into periods of dormancy that appears deathlike in that their vital signs slow and diminish to almost nothing. This is more like hibernation than true death, though, and may be employed as a means to allow for fae in the mortal world to pass time before assuming a new identity without raising suspicion.
Fae “Reincarnation” and Revival:
Not all fae can return to life after experiencing actual physical death, though there are several ways in which some can.
These are wholly tied to genetic traits carried by specific bloodlines though, and only fae belonging to those bloodlines will have that ability, though the traits are recessive and not every fae from that bloodline will inherit the ability.
There are three main types of the ability:
True Reincarnation
False Reincarnation
Revival
True reincarnation is as the name implies. After physical death, the soul of the fae will be completely severed from their previous body and transfers to a new one, becoming a completely different person from a physical perspective. They may or may not retain memories of their previous existence, but they will retain their magical affinities/abilities
This is seen as the most common expression of the trait.
False reincarnation is when the fae experiences actual physical death but the soul remains connected to the body and can return to it after an extended period of time - often days, though potentially longer. The fae will retain their physical appearance and abilities, but may experience a period of amnesia after returning, though this state is temporary and they will eventually regain their memory.
Revival is closer to dormancy in that, although the fae goes through the appearance of physical death in having no registerable vital signs, the soul does not leave the body at all, and the fae will regain signs of life quite quickly after - in anywhere from a few minutes to several hours. Revival appears to be much more of a survival response in that the physical body essentially “plays dead” until the threat to life passes.
0 notes
retrocontinuity · 3 years
Text
Eat, for this is Her Body: Chainsaw Man and the Doxology of Cannibalism
"One day," Anthony Oliveira writes in "The Year in Apocalypses," [Jesus'] disciples approached their master while he was silent in prayer and made a request: 'Lord, teach us how to pray.'" From here, Jesus teaches them the Lord's Prayer, what the Catholic Church once called "the summary of the whole gospel":
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Denji is no one's disciple. When we first meet him, he is closer to how Oliveira describes Jesus himself, "homeless, gleaning for food in the field like a sparrow and relying on the kindness of strangers to put him up, . . . a man cheerfully resigned to powerlessness." And so, Denji doesn't need to be taught how to pray. He has always known. Every bone in his body at the opening of Chainsaw Man sings out the Lord's Prayer: "forgive me my debts", "deliver me from evil." And, of course, Denji is intimately familiar with the prayer's most pitiable, most powerful line. It's this line that he cries out to Makima when he rests, Pieta-like, in her arms at the end of the first chapter. It can only be this line, one that Denji might have written himself:
Give me, from this day forward, and for all the rest of my days, daily bread.
Bread runs throughout CSM like a mocking scent that you only fully identify in the last two chapters. It should have been a sign to all of us when the first meal Makima buys for Denji is not bread (but rather a hot dog and udon noodles). It isn't until Denji meets and enters Aki's home that he is seen making a hideously overladen slice of toast for himself, luxuriating in having all the toppings he was denied. The morning after she forces Denji to open the door to Power's death, Makima makes the very breakfast she once promised to serve Denji: eggs, coffee, salad, and sliced bread. But this is a meal that Denji never eats—maybe the only meal in the entire series that he, a survivor of the meanest starvation and poverty, ignores. There is only one other time we see this meal in CSM, and it is subtle, almost off camera, though no less meaningful: in Chapter 53, after Reze's death, as Denji sits down to breakfast once more with Power and Aki.
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To revisit CSM's public safety arc is to see all the ways the plot connects itself to food and the act of eating, both appetizing and revolting, both profound and profane. Denji, eating gyoza at a bar for the first time. Denji being forced to swallow barf as he is kissed for the first time. The Fox Devil, who eats indiscriminately and on command, who refuses to return to Aki after being fed something disgusting. A fox that is hunted and transformed into stew. Denji eating sandwiches at Reze's cafe. Aki and Angel eating noodles. A woman sitting down to eat a hamburger for the first time, before she commits mass murder. She is worried she has lost her taste buds, yet she exclaims, "So delicious!" We know, later, that this woman is a liar, that no part of her is what she presents herself to be. Should we take this moment at its face value then? Was Santa Claus simply lucky enough to have preserved her sense of taste? Or was it her one last act of humanity, to recognize that it is not enough just to eat, that man does not live on bread alone, that there must be at least food that is also delicious, that inspires people to get up and dance—even if it means she has to lie about what she can experience?
Food is necessary for survival, and CSM is a story about survival. But CSM is also a story about glimpsing the after. After you know you can keep living, what next? After you are no longer starving, after you have been forced to kill a friend, after you have touched your first boob, after you have been betrayed, what next? After you are tired of eating toast with jam for breakfast, what do you eat next?
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The version of the Lord's Prayer we tend to recite asks for "our daily bread." But this, most modern scholars believe, is a mistranslation. The Greek adjective as it appears in the Gospel of Matthew and Luke is "epiousios," which doesn't mean "daily" at all, but rather something too complicated etymologically for me to even begin to parse. The point is that what we ask for in the Lord's Prayer is not just bread for today, but bread for tomorrow. Both the physical bread and the spiritual bread. Bread on this kingdom of earth, and bread that is the kingdom of heaven. Bread to feed our bodies, and bread to feed our souls. The realm of the divine is full of these moments, isn't it? Of two things existing at once, in one.
Denji starts the series asking for daily bread, and ends the public safety arc with Nayuta, Makima's reincarnation, asking him for daily bread. Trash heap Denji, living with his not!dog Pochita, really was just asking for daily bread. A slice to eat for breakfast, maybe even with butter and jam. But he too learns that bread, physical bread, is not enough. Merely to subsist, to eat good food, is an empty life. And what he must give Nayuta is not just bread, as was given to him. Otherwise, he will be trapped in a cycle of creating more Makimas. Instead, he must give her a relationship, a family, a world that Makima was unable to create. He must give her, in Pochita's words, lots of hugs. He must give her, in the words of the Lord's Prayer, epiousios.
To be clear, I am not arguing that CSM is meant to be read through a Catholic lens, and I doubt Fujimoto had all of this in mind when he wrote it (though he must have thought something, given that he drew a very large print of Gustave Dore's "Satan descends upon Earth" in Makima's entranceway!). But there is something primal (primordial?) about the Lord's Prayer. If every reader can understand the horror that the Darkness Devil represents, so too we can understand the intimacy and comfort of the Lord's Prayer. It is, as Oliveira writes, "a simple peasant's mantra for detoxing anxiety." Jesus opens by addressing God as father—not king, not an all-mighty spiritual being, but rather "abba, which is rather closer to 'dad,' and not in the intercultural Greek of his adulthood, but the Aramaic of home and childhood." The Lord's Prayer asks for what we always want, the only thing any of us have ever wanted since leaving the womb as infants: for no bad things to happen, for there to be enough to eat.
Even if what we have to eat is another person.
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At the center of the Christian liturgy is the Last Supper, and at the center of the Last Supper is a meal that functions as ritual, abomination, accusation, transubstantiation, paranoia, and an early example of cracking open a cold one with the bros. Here, Jesus shares bread and wine with his disciples and then, as if trying to invent r/creepypasta years before its time, informs them they are actually eating his flesh and blood. This image is so powerful and heretical that the Romans accused early Christians of being cannibals. And why shouldn't they? It's there in the text. "Take, eat. This is my body. This is my blood." Stripped of the grandeur of tradition and ritual, this is downright vampiric. And yet it goes on to become the cornerstone of the Christian faith.
Oliveira begs us to see the Last Supper as a family meal, one shared by Jesus and his found family. "All he is really saying is, 'I hope when you eat together, you remember me.'" It's a good reading, one that moves me to tears, and is the framework through which I see the events of chapter 80. Because Makima is not the first time that Denji "consumes" a friend, and I don't just mean him sucking Power's blood or taking Pochita into himself. When Aki died, he left half his fortune to Denji, who uses it to support himself and Power. They "pigged out on good food," he tells us. This is Aki's symbolic body, through which he provides Denji his daily bread. Eat ice cream and onigiri in remembrance of me.
But it is not how I see the events of chapter 96. Denji does not eat Makima in the context of a feast. He does not partake of her in a communal meal, as Jesus did, among his found family. He eats every bite of Makima alone. Jesus said before his death, "this is my blood, which is shed for many." Yet Denji says to Makima, I alone will absolve you alone of your sins. I alone will bear you alone.
Denji's Last Supper is a lonely remembrance. He is hoping that no one but him will remember her. He is hoping to wholly consume her, because he loves her. "We love as cannibals," French philosopher and activist Simone Weil wrote. "Beloved beings . . . provide us with comfort, energy, a simulant. They have the same effect on us as a good meal. . . . We love them, then, as food." In fact, Weil believed we cannot love any other way. As humans, we are forever doomed to want to eat the ones we love. In order to escape, we must both be devoured by God and then become food for our fellow human beings. As Alec Irwin writes of Weil's philosophy, "the devouring violence of God must be positively harnessed in order to dismantle the machinery of human cruelty."
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If Weil is right and being devoured is transformation, a crucial part of salvation, then in eating Makima, Denji redeems her. He turns her into food to break the cycle of her cruelty. For Makima's power itself is consuming, cannibalistic. She "eats" humans in order to use her power, which remains mysterious like God moving across the face of the earth, leaving only broken corpses as a sign of its presence. So it must be Denji, not Chainsaw Man, who does the consuming. If Pochita had consumed her, as she had always prayed for, then it would simply be another act of violence being enacted. Instead, Denji gives her salvation by turning her into human food—his food.
To Denji, Aki was human, his family, his brother, his friend.  It is Makima he loves as a God and a woman. To him, she is Satan and God, his betrayer and his creator, his salvation and his friends' damnation. So he must take her, consume her, digest her, excrete her, reduce her to nothing, as she once consumed and excreted and reduced him. "I ate her to become one with her." He ate her to become her. There is no truer form of his love than for Denji to take Makima into himself. I use those words purposefully, because this is the rejection of classic cishet PIV penetration, that old hoary chestnut of men inside women. As Don Delillo famously outlines in White Noise, we talk about sex as if women are containers, rooms, elevator lobbies: "He entered me," "I want him inside me," "I took him into myself." Denji and Makima never have physical sex, but this is a consummation, a reversal of roles. We are given the only sex that Shounen Jump will allow us, with Denji taking Makima into himself. She enters him. She is inside him. He is—physically, emotionally, willingly—penetrated by her flesh. She is released inside of him, becoming part of him.
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Because the divine is full of moments like this, isn't it? Of two things existing at once, in one. That is the kingdom and the power and the glory. For Makima now lives in that country inhabited by God, where loving and eating are one and the same. For that country is none other than Denji's body.
In conclusion:
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Substitute Makima for "God", and the preceding statements are still rigorously accurate.
Further Reading:
Anthony Oliveira's ongoing podcast reading the Gospel of Mark (Patreon exclusive, but I highly recommend, even/especially if you are a heathen like me)
Hannibal (NBC)
Daniel Birnbaum and Anders Olsson, An Interview with Jacques Derrida on the Limits of Digestion
David Farrell Krell, "All You Can't Eat: Derrida's Course, "Rhetorique du Cannibalisme (1990-1991)." Research in Phenomenology, vol. 36, 2006, pp. 130–180. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/24660636. 
Alec Irwin, “Devoured by God: Cannibalism, Mysticism, and Ethics in Simone Weil.” CrossCurrents, vol. 51, no. 2, 2001, pp. 257–272. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/24460795.
114 notes · View notes