Anybody else have a character they know would be obsessed with if it weren't for the fact that you just don't care at ALL for their source material. Not even necessarily out of malice, it can just be like "I love this one specific guy immensely and don't care at all about anything else going on here". Can be for as petty or benign of a reason as you want.

What the Heck is the Golden Guard Actually Wearing: A Speculative Guide

So a long while ago, I was talking in a Discord server with a few others about what Hunter's GG uniform might actually be composed of, since apparently a lot of the fandom seems to interpret it as a kind of tunic. With the finale of the show sending us all into tears, I thought I'd take a break from the heartache and explain my theories.

(This might be long, so I'll put pictures in when I can)

So to start with, let's actually begin not with his uniform, but what's underneath it, as seen above.

(So scary, truly)

Now, while some people headcanoned this as a binder (and I'm not one to bash on people's ideas), I think it's actually a kind of brigandine!

(Note the length, the buckles going down the front, and the leather straps going over the shoulders)

This was a kind of armor that knights or soldiers wore, composed of strips of metal fastened between two pieces of heavy cloth or leather to make a vest. It was handy to have because it was fairly durable and lightweight, and offered decent protection without needing all the fancy welding required for full-plate armor.

It was worn on top of a tunic (like he does in the photo), and was usually sleeveless, though it sometimes could come with arm and shoulder protection.

Now, I confess, a brigandine wouldn't normally be worn under armor (too many layers and padding), but that leads us to Hunter's actual uniform!

(Angry cat / big brother energy intensifies)

So while the cloak and pin are common enough that even most civilians in medieval times wore them, this isn't one solid tunic piece -- it's plate mail!

Now, to get the basics out of the way, that little shoulder guard he's wearing is called a pauldron, and was used to keep your opposing, non-dominant side safe when jousting. Knights would normally only wear one, as two would be cumbersome, and holding your lance under one was uncomfortable and impractical.

(It also makes an adequate perch for little bird palismen)

That duller yellow color Hunter wears is the undershirt knights would wear under their armor (for extra padding against chafing and some extra protection). While this historically would be a gamberson (or aketon, depends on who you ask), a thick, quilted fabric shirt, it'd be too bulky for the plate mail he's wearing, amidst other things.

Instead, he might be wearing an arming shirt!

Also referred to as an arming doublet (again, depends on who you ask), these were made later as a thin kind of form-fitting shirt that was more flexible and allowed for ease of motion when wearing armor. Sometimes chain mail was sewn into more vulnerable areas for coverage, like between the legs and the armpits (like you can kinda see in the first pic).

(Also, take notice of the higher sides of the collar, which you can also see under Hunter's cape)

The brighter gold armor he wears is, from what I can tell, not full plate mail, but a kind of cuirass!

These were chest plates that covered both the front and back of a knight without needing all the extras of armor, and could be worn with an arming shirt or chainmail.

They also usually came with hip guards -- those little strips by his pelvis -- and were special attachments called faulds, useful for keeping those areas safe without making things too bulky.

And there you have it! Hope this helps with your art and writing, and thus concluding

✨Weird History With Fable✨

40k Lore and Scale

The Crux Terminatus is a badge of honor worn on the left shoulder of a suit of Terminator armor, said to contain a fragment of the Emperor's own battle armor. Some in the Warhammer community say this is a case of Warhammer's writers having no sense of scale, because given how many Terminator armor suits there must be in the whole Imperium, not all of them could plausibly have a fragment of the Emperor's armor.

Right?

How many Terminator suits?

1000 chapters times 1000 Space Marines gives the rough estimate of 1,000,000 in the entire Imperium. Of these, only a Chapter's 1st Company (paper strength 100) use Terminator armor, and:

We can take 100 suits of Terminator armor per chapter as an extreme upper-level estimate.

Therefore, 100 suits/chapter * 1000 chapters = 100,000 active Terminator suits as of M41. Due to attrition from M31-41, let's multiply by 10, to get 1M Terminator armor suits built since the Emperor's death. This, like 100 suits/chapter, is a trustworthy upper-tier estimate, since the Crux Terminatus could be recovered from a destroyed suit as long as the left shoulder itself was not compromised.

How big was the Emperor's armor?

Contrary to some popular size graphics, The Emperor's phsyical size fluctuates by who is remembering him, and in what memory.

Guilliman did not begrudge the priest his awe. There was great warpcraft in the weapon. When the blade had been presented to Guilliman by the captain-general of the Adeptus Custodes after the Emperor’s fall, it had somehow fitted his primarch’s stature. Guilliman tried to remember how tall the Emperor was, but His living image refused to be caught and examined. In some memories, He was as tall as Guilliman; in others, no bigger than a mortal man.

- Dark Imperium

If the Emperor's armor became a static size at his time of death, we can conclude he's roughly Primarch sized, wearing relatively bulky, if not "primarch-sized Terminator" armor.

We can use the "canonical" weight of Terminator armor given in the Deathwatch RPG rulebook as a rough, very low estimate. Compare with 3000 pounds for a Volkswagen beetle, or 200KG (personal estimate) for my bike whenever I'm carring it up the stairs to my house).

The Most Miniscule of Fragements

But sure. 400,000 grams in the Emperor's armor, divided across 1,000,000 suits of Terminator armor, giving us 0.4 grams per suit assuming it's all used. Even at very low Emperor armor weight and very high Terminator suit count estimates we have a believable number.

If we double the Emperor's armor mass (square cube law would suggest more than that compared to a normal space marine in Terminator armor), half the number of existing terminator suits, and half their attrition rate, we have 800,000 grams divided across 250,000 post-Heresy suits, suggesting a 3.2 gram fragment in each suit.

A fragment, but not "the most miniscule".

I really like that the dragon knights have such different body types, actually. They could've all been the exact same kind of bulky, but they're not. There was a surprising amount of thought put into them.

Lancelot seems like the most "normal" one, very athletic but not overly muscly. Vane is very bulky and top heavy, especially. Percy's evokes more a kind of elegance, especially due to the small waist (and no tits :'( ). He's a bit bigger than Lancelot, but smaller than Sieg and Vane. And Sieg is bulky all around, but with a smaller chest than Vane. Sieht's muscle mass is more spread out, while Vane's is very focused on his chest and arms.

I could also go into how their body types correspond to their chosen weapon and fighting styles, like Vane using a heavy axe would result in some beefy biceps and some nice upper body strength. Lancelot is small and agile with his two swords and ice magic. Big boobs would just get in the way. Percy has powerful fire magic to amplify his attacks, so he wouldn't need to be as big to still pack a punch. And Sieg is just a fucking beast. Running around with that huge sword wearing that heavy armor.

Overall, they have different but still very attractive body types, so they're going to make great models for Lunalu :)

I ended up rambling, I'm sorry

NO SORRIES YOU'RE SO CORRECT!!! and it's not like i'd ever lecture you about analysing the Dragon Knights in depth.

And yeah i totally agree with you, i love how much thought is put in the bodyshapes. each bodytypes works a lot with their fighting style, as you said (with adding to it how Lancelot is supposed to be so quick on his feet he can dodge anything, which would imply he's really light, and Vane and Siegfried's playstyle being that they're tank, ie they take the hits with their whole body, so the more muscles to take the hit the better).

It also works well with their background when you think about it, like you mentioned there's Percival's elegant built that is very regal, he's the only noble one of the bunch. Siegfried lived in the wilderness most of his life before Josef took him in, his body is built for survival at all cost. Vane and Lancelot were commoners, they have loving families, and Vane in particular had his grandma spoiling him and feeding him a lot and that's how he became a cook and a foodie, so it also explains that he has a bigger built than Lancelot who, while not starved either, doesn't have as much focus on growing up with food in his stories.

so it's honestly amazing how their body built ends up working on various level of reading that ends up fitting their characters a lot.

it's honestly so so cool because yeah! they could have make them generic ikemen with the same built and everything. But they didn't! instead they all shine in different ways.

it's so cool. I love those four so much.

Ancient Guard

They have been mining for a while.They pickaxes on theyr end and limited amount of torches.Tommy did one swing,breaking throth a wall into a City.Tubbo and Dream following him close behind.Dream was looking through Tommie’s shoulder into the Kingdom only lit with sparsly put torches.

-Holy shit- Tommy breathed sharply

He broke the rest of the wall creating a passage of them to get inside.

-Is this what i think it is?- Tubbo was looking around.His hype of the discovery filling him with unfiltered joy

-The ancient city?Yes- Dream was placing down a torch before glancing into a dark pathway.There was some werid substance covering the walls and floor.It made him uneasy.After a while of staring he got the attention of the other two.Tubbo walked up to him and stared down the same pathway.He was the most knowledgeable on the City but even he looked puzzled staring at the thing.

-What is it?- Dream looked at him

-I dont know,the history books sayd nothing about it- Tubbo replied.He was unsure of what it could be.It was a black gue with neon blue spots shining in the darkness.

A sound was hearable.Then a skreech.It made Tommy flinch.He ran up to the other two.Staying close to them.Dream got up still keeping his stare into the pathway between two buildings.He took out one torch and went inside the crambed path.Tommy and Tubbo looking at eachother before following the greeneyed.He slowly made his way to the gue.It made him nociouse.

He tried to make a step into the darkess before the same noice and a skreech was heard.Moments later he was pulled away by his elbow.

-Dream,back away- Tommy wispered getting the man closer to the other two

-Im gonna be okey Tommy,Dont worry,- Dream tried to reasure the other

-Yes the same guy who refuses to wear normal armor?-

-I am a speedrunner rememebr?Im capeable of fast escape if things go down BESIDES we need go find the origin of umm This-

Tommy stopped pushing and let go of Dream’s Arm.The green eyed looked back at the path way and begun going further.Torch in hand and his sword close to be taken in moments notice.

The same sound and skreech happened again for the third time.It made Tubbo tip toe his way through.Tommy was right behind him looking behind himself every five seconds.

And for the fourth time the sound repeated.Behind them a creature got out of the ground covered in the substance.They started running making enough sound for the thing to persue them.It had the same color as the substance.It was bulky and big,like a monsterouse version of the iron golem.It had its ribcage exposed holding souls of the unfortunate in it.It’s big with sharb thing claws cabeable of grabbing and rippiing apart the flesh.

After many turns and tight spaces they managed to escape the monster.Holding theyr breath beofre they stopped the cries of the souls.Tubbo broke his ankle in the run while Tommy managed to get alot of cuts.It was hard to see anything fom Dream,its seems like he wasnt hurt that much from the chase.

-What do we do now?We cant really build our way out ,our pickaxes are at the end of breaking and we dont have  cobblestone to make furnaces .The ones we made are way back at the exit ,wich that THING went the direction the FUCKING EXIT IS.- Tommy sayd.His voice shacky and exchausted.Hi back place on the wall.Tubbo was sitting crossed legged on his right side.To the left was Dream.He was sitting the corner,legs to his chest and head inbetween.He was trying to calm his breathing.

-Dream?- Tubbo pushed himself closer to the man.He looked at Tubbo clearly exchausted.

-Im fine,umm i just need to process what in the ever LOVING FUCK just happened.Its just,how do we like Get out its not like that thing didnt go and forgot about us.- Dream looked at Tommy who was sitting with his arms crossed.He was thinking but slowly he signed with anger

-I have no ideas,what about you two?- Tommy looked at the other two

-I have no idea man.- Tubbo laughed nervously,getting his hands up

-...I have one,umm you two wont like it but its our only plan.Umm so i will be bait ,i will get that thing to chase me while you Tommy get Tubbo out of here-

-You are risking your life here!Do you know how dangerouse of a plan that is??- Tommy was furiouse

-We have no other choice BESIDES did you forget that i am a speedrunner?I will easily outrun that thing and then get back to you.- Dream had a confident posture before placing his elbow on his knee and putting his head on his wrist.

Tommy and Tubbo looked at eachother.There was a long pause of silence .Tubbo nodded ,most probably in the agreement of the plan.The other took longer but eventually sayd yes.

Dream gave them the resources he had in his inventory.Like some diamonds ,gold and lapis.

He followed them to the exit.The creature was right where they expected it to be.Tubbo was piggibacked by Tommy.The other wasnt as strong as the other two but wasnt fast enough to take Dream’s place.

Once the creature got notice of the soun they made Dream his the ground  with his sword while the other were silently walking up to the exit.The monster swithly began chasing the greeneyed.

Tommy managed to get to the tunnel they made.Running throuth the tight space.Not as fast as he would like to but fast enough to be out of reach of that thing.He wanted to leave Tubbo there and go after Dream and help him.

In that time Dream was running making sure that monstrouse being was following him and didnt go back to chase the other.he turned pnce didnt looking under his legs and tripping on something while turning to a space between buldings,it was wider and it had less gue as the other first space they found.

He was on the floor but when he turned around he saw the crature stand right infront of him.

Tommy was ready to place Tubbo down.He was ready to help but moments later he heard a loud scream coming from the Ancient City.

He was too late.

He began running up the with Tubbo on his back.He was aksed by him to stop and help Dream.But he couldnt.The man was most probably dead.He still had 2 more lifes.He was going to wake up in his bed.

Tommy knew how canon death work.It takes time for the person to wake up.Enough for them to get to the house.

The screames were hearable for a while before abruptly ending.Tubbo had his ears covered even after tthe noise stopped.

They got they way out of the mine.Exchausted and very much concerned.When they got back to their base. Dream was sitting on his bed. He looked to their direction

His expression a mix of shock and fear. His breath shallow. He held his hand on the on his chest. 

It was enouth for today. for all of them

(an old idea abonded. i gave it a small ending)

Make Your Tieflings Fiendish (2)

Huh, that was unexpected.  People liked the freaks with full-blooded fiends for grandparents.  Well, Volo’s Guide to Monsters has some fiends in it too, so what if your grandparent was a...

Barghest?  You’re a hairy one.  Not everywhere, mind; just a big mane in some shade of gray, from dust to gunpowder, maybe a little extra on your arms and legs.  Not your face, though; can’t grow a beard to save your life, nor to hide that snout or those canines.  You’re built broad through the chest and shoulders, not necessarily bulky but big, and your eyes are an unmistakable lime-green.  You might hate goblins, or love them, but you definitely have some feelings about them that tend toward the predatory.  Fire feels like a trap to you, for reasons impossible to vocalize.

Babau Demon? You’re lanky as they come, long and thin even if you’re not tall, which you likely are.  Your face and hands are skeletally thin or bony, hollow through the cheeks.  If you’ve a tail, it’s stumpy and vestigial; if you’ve a horn, it curves straight up and over your head from your crown like a scorpion’s stinger.  Likely as not there’s little hair to hide you, and your skin is on the dark side, if not utterly charcoal-black.  Your eyes are light, grey or blue or green so washed out it’s hard to tell, and your gaze sends a shiver down the spine.

Maw Demon? Your mouth is a horror of long, sharp teeth; you probably lisp or hiss quite badly around your mouthful of knives. If you’re lucky, it doesn’t open straight up your face, ruining any chance you had to have a nose.  If you’re not…well, who needs good looks?  Your entire head and neck are built around that mouth, making you thick-necked and broad across the shoulders.  Overall you’re likely short and stout to match so it doesn’t look out of place, with leathery skin some bluish-green.  Your appetite appears to be bottomless, and you’ve probably never known a stomachache.

Shoosuva Demon? You look sick, or mangy, with patchy pale fur standing out against skin an unpleasant bruise color- blue-black, purple, or a fading, unhealthy yellow.  You’ve no horns, but a set of spurs runs down your spine, making wearing armor and shirts tricky but not impossible.  It’s the tail that really stands out, though, long and covered in bony burrs with a hard nail at the end- too long to hide under clothes, and too animated besides. Your face has something lean and hungry about it, and your eyes are either a normal amount of terribly bloodshot or solid red through the iris and sclera.

Devourer?  Your ribcage is dreadful, a forest of extra bones that stick out no matter your attempts to hide them beneath fat and muscle.  If your grandparent’s blood runs too true, you had a twin, once; their remains reach out from your chest, as subtle as a knot of bone like a skull on your sternum or as grotesque as a whole, small arm clawing forth as if escaping.  The rest of you’s little to write home about; skin like a corpse, balding young if you have hair at all, and gnarls of spare bone at your elbows and knees give you a decidedly skeletal look.

Draegloth?  You’re a bit watered down, huh?  Night-black skin, pointed ears, and a lithe grace mark you as drow-descended, but the vestigial limbs coming from your ribs and the carnivore’s teeth tell all that there’s more to you than that.  Certainly you’ve paws for feet, and if you don’t have a mane of long, silvery hair that grows down onto your back and shoulders, your hair is at least the right color and grows wherever it pleases.  Your nails are tough to trim and grow quickly, but almost sharp enough to cut with.

Tanarukk?  If you’re not a tanarukk yourself, you could be mistaken for one.  You’re built big and broad like an orc, with huge horns that curve from behind your ears around forward.  You might have thorny scales or smaller horns all over your body, or you may not; but in either case they’d be sprouting from slate-gray skin spotted with patches of course hair.  Your temper is a beast that you struggle with, but unlike your grandparent you can reign it in- if you choose to.

Vargouille?  Your most telling feature is your ears; they go beyond batlike into wing-like, and may need to be tied back so they don’t interfere with daily life.  Your head looks like the best-developed part of you; you were likely born with fused or missing fingers or toes and ill-defined joints and musculature, as if your body below the neck just wasn’t as important as your face.  You might be fanged or not, horned or not (and if you are, they’re barely nubs), and tentacled or not.  If you have tentacles, they take your hair’s place, and might even prove a substitute for a full beard.

See the original post here and the third post here.

I’ve been in a Monster Hunter mood lately, and I know you play it, so I was wondering if you could please assign armor and weapon mains to the HWS characters of your choice! If that’s alright with you! :)

I went a little wild….so uh ehe also I got to Ukraine before I realized I forgot that hunting horns exist

America

Great Sword or Hammer for weapon

Alfred is only picking weapons that look fresh af or funny af

So like the Tuna fish great sword or the Val Hazak hammer

Armor wise he likes bulky, cool looks so something like gravios or diablos is among his top late game picks

He would also like the Great Wroggi set from Rise

England

Arthur 100% mains the bow

And he’s only picking bows that look as natural as possible while still being powerful

He also is rather fond of the Kelbi slingshot even if it doesn’t look like traditional bow

For armor he likes cloaks, so a mixed set with the slagoth cowl or the pukei pukei set are his top choices

France

Francis likes bug glaive and if you know you knowJe suis monte

I don’t think he really has a preference on what he uses as long as it has good dps

Armor doesn’t matter as long as it has good defense and skills without decorations

He plays fashion hunter with layered armor so he changes the looks often

Canada

Heavy bowgun or Hunting Horn

Matthew enjoys the pretty looking ones

So Mizutsune is a top choice for him

Loves mixed sets, he really likes playing fashion hunter without layered armor while also having great skills

Russia

Ivan feels like a Hammer or Switch Axekind of guy

If it’s hammer he’s gonna pick the teddy bear one

For switch axe I picture him as someone who wants the strongest one so looks don’t matter

Armor wise it’s the same deal, best defense is a must, but Ivan might play fashion hunter and try to make his character wear what he does irl

China

Dual blades or light bowgun

Yao likes the pretty and elegant looking weapons

So he’d go for mizutsune weapons or possibly the odogaron ones

Armor he likes to use is odogaron and Val hazak

Italy

Sword and Shield all the way possibly maybe uses a charge blade every once and a while

I can see him using the raithian rapier or the xeno’jiva charge blade

Also I can see Feliciano using the xeno’jiva set for looks, the gratitude set from world for wide range, or the Bishaten set from Rise for the wide range skill

Romano

Charge blade or dual blades

Lovino likes the event weapons a lot because he thinks they’re cute and funny

Definitely also uses the Ruiner Nergigante or Devil jho weapons just for the flex

Picks any armor that’s got good skills & defense and fashion hunters a cool outfit to go with his weapons

Spain

Lance or Sword and Shield

Antonio likes the simplicity of them and how cool they can look I also think he’s complete ass at the game and needs a role that doesn’t have to be directly in front of the monster

Uses everything but I think he likes the more realistic looking weapons

This man is a clown and he’s showing up in the silliest of armor that actually has god tier skills for some reason

Germany

Great Sword or Heavy Bowgun

Ludwig finds it the easiest to use and it’s a really important role to have in a party

Uses whatever, he just wants his armor and weapons to support each other so he picks armor based on weapon and weapon based on what monster he’s up against

He’s all about those elemental advantages and attack boosts

Prussia

Dual blades

Gilbert thinks they rock and he likes how fast they attack

Likes the beer mug ones because it’s funny

Definitely uses the arena earned armors like the brigade set

Austria

Roderich probably uses bow or light bow gun

He’s not much of a ‘be in the monsters face’ kind of guy

Likes regal looking weapons like Velkahna or event weapons

Enjoys the Brigade set and sets that look like normal clothes

Japan

👉👈 long sword or bow

Kiku is a beast with both but more so the bow

You can’t tell me this man isn’t using the funniest looking weapons with the most serious of armors

His sword looks like an umbrella or his bow looks like a stuffed animal but he’s wearing the most samurai looking armor

Latvia

Charge Blade or Sword and Shield

Raivis probably wants an option to protect himself from damage so a shield is a must

Likes the chrome weapons or anything that looks like a normal sword

Armor wise he wants the best defense and skills for whatever he’s using/fighting against and doesn’t care for the looks/fashion aspect

Lithuania

Lance or long sword

Toyls is amazing with it and never hits anyone a miracle really

Has zero preference for weapons as long as they are strong and have good elemental/blight damage

Like the more knight looking armors or the bulky armors like Diablos

Poland

Sword and Shield 100%

It’s easy to use and does decent dps so it’s Feliks’ favorite

Likes the Mizutsune one because it’s pink and pretty but also likes the Nargacuga one because it’s kinda cool

You know he spent like an hour or more making his character look as pretty as possible and uses event layered sets like the spring blossom set

Estonia

Gun Lance or Light Bow Gun

Eduard likes how cool gun Lance is and how easy to use light bow gun is

Picks something he thinks is cool like the nargacuga or black diablos weapons

For armor picture the most generic Monster Hunter armor and you’ve got his look, he spends 0 time on armor choice as long as it’s got good skills, defense, and gem slots

Hungary

Great Sword or Switch Axe

Elizabeta likes the heavy weapons and likes having an important role

Love weapons that do paralysis or poison and have high normal damage so something like Barroth or Chameleous

Uses the bulkiest of female armors or the most feminine ones there is no in between

Czechia

Bow

Hedvika likes the bow because it’s able to stay away from the monster and apply status effects like poison, exhaustion, and paralysis

She has no preference on what bow she uses but definitely has a slight draw towards cute designs

Same for the armor, will wear anything but is draw more towards the cute outfits from events and arenas

Belarus

Dual Blades or Hammer

Natalya enjoys the quick pace of dual blades and the demon mode and also like the feel and damage of the hammer

Likes any weapon that looks especially cool or scary like the Val Hazak or Gore Mangala

Same for armor but her favorite is the Val Hazak

Ukraine

Hunting Horn or Hammer

Yekaterina just seems like the type to use the heavy hitting, blunt, slow weapons

She uses the cute and funny weapons a lot

Enjoys playing fashion hunter and will likely find the time to make an outfit that looks like something she wears irl

Belgium

Light Bow gun or bow

Emma doesn’t want to be on the monster but likes doing high dps

Likes using the rajang weapons because of the high attack

Uses armor/gems it out to have affinity boost and sharpness so her weapons don’t have any negative set backs

Finland

Heavy or Light Bow gun

Tino definitely mains these because yes?

Literally picks any weapon he finds cool, so possibly gore mangala, seregios, or an event weapon

Armor doesn’t matter because he will pick layered armor to look as camo or military as possible

Denmark

Great Sword or Charge Blade

Matthias rocks with a great sword or charge blade because leader roles and big boy damage

Definitely picks silly or scary looking weapons the more ridges and spikes the better

Likes the bulky armors but sometimes plays fashion hunter to look silly if he helps low ranks

Sweden

Gun Lance or Lance

Berwald just seems like a Lance guy, the mechanics are somewhat easy, the damage is good, and the designs aren’t bad either

Prefers realistic looking lances and gun lances

He likes the more regular clothes looking armors from event quests or arena coins

Iceland

Bug glaive

I can imagine Emil likes zipping and zooming through the air plus he gets a little bug friend

Likes gore mangala, Chameleos, and Zinogre weapons

He likes their armors too, but would probably opt for best defense or a mixed set

Norway

Hunting Horn or Bow

Lukas likes the support role that can do big damage and bows are just cool

Chameleos weapons are his favorite because of the magical designs but he also likes the mizutsune weapons

He likes any armor that isn’t too bulky or silly looking and will 100% use layered armor if he has no choice but to wear something like that

It is I! So D4, G5, N3 aaaaand X2 for Jack, Julia and Kim— you can pick and choose or do them all. I love them. Wives.

FRIEND!!! Thank you!!! You know how much I love my pack of lesbians D4 What type of clothes and accessories do they wear? Jack: Prone to dressing pretty much always like some kind of cowboy unless she's sitting around at home. She has a set #aesthetic and she sticks to it. Always always has her worn cowboy hat and always wears a belt. But that's more for practicality reasons. She keeps a small bracelet made of leather corded together somewhere on her person, not always worn. It was a gift from Felicity. Julia: Dresses very plainly. She often wears whatever is most practical at the time but has little preference for pants over skirts over dresses. She isn't prone to anything terribly flashy, she does keep a small token on her, a bit of twisted metal that she insists has no real meaning if asked (she lies). Kim: Layers herself in comfortable clothing. Her bulky frame is almost made even bulkier purely by the fact she's wearing at least three or four layers of clothing at any given time. A shirt, an over shirt, a coat, (setting appropriate) armor etc. She tries to dress in a way that's complimentary and emphasizes her as someone who's safe. Someone who protects. She has a leather cord necklace with a wolf fang on it that she keeps on her at all times. Constantly has random treats in her pockets. G5 What parts of others do they envy? Jack: She plays it off really well but she envies people with a bit more bulk than her, she knows full well she looks like a scarecrow come to life. Jack sometimes wishes she had a bit more muscle to round herself out but she can't do anything about her noodle length arms. Julia: Anyone with unmarred skin earns some level of ire from Julia. Being scarred so blatantly and it being such a clear point of 'damage', showcasing how broken she really is. The scar on her forehead is simply a badge of her failure, her inability to properly care for a patient and led to her 'downfall'. Kim: She admires and sometimes envies the 'body builder' type of muscular shape. The tight aesthetic style of muscles meant to be for show rather than function. But Kim is still very proud of her own shape and form because it means she has the strength to protect people, to make the vulnerable safe. N3 Is there anything they absolutely can't believe people do? Jack: Not especially, she's definitely awed by people and their talents. Surprised and riveted. She's also seen people capable of great cruelty and was a victim of it. But one of her defining beliefs is how capable people are of just about anything. Great good and great evil. It also means she knows people are capable of change. Julia: On the other end Julia cynically doesn't believe in people being truly capable of change. They may twist themselves into behaving differently but innate change is impossible. Kim: She is always shocked and surprised by the cruelty in people, no matter how often she experiences it herself. It's as if she cannot harden herself against the world, always soft, always believing the best in people. X2 Do they have a favorite song? Jack: BIG IRON BIIIIG IRON. Jokes aside, Blue Moon by Frank Sinatra. She's a sap and a bit of a romantic at heart. Julia: Sh-Boom by the Chords, she has a very secret love of swing and jazz. She actually enjoys dancing. It seems contradictory to her normal behavior but she reasons it keeps her 'fit'. (It's embarrassing and NEVER happens in front of another) Kim: Hit Me With Your Best Shot by Pat Benatar. Kim (in proper settings) loves 80s rock and roll. She is known for singing along somewhat off-key, cracking voice and all.

Monster. (Underfell!Papyrus X Reader.)

Run.

That’s all you could think of.

Run.

She was closing in on you.

Run.

The door wasn’t much further.

RUN.

Your hands firmly held the handle and pulled it. The door swung open, and you took the chance and darted out. The unholy screech of fear and desperation pierced your ears and into your very soul. However, just because you were on the other side, it didn’t mean that nothing would stop her from opening it and snatching you back in.

Your feet immediately started treading through the harsh snow. Your heart was still racing, allowing you to ignore the harsh cold nipping at any exposed skin you may have had. You tried to rid the horrific noise she made by focusing on where you were now. You were always told, by multiple people, that you should never look back. That kind of lesson could apply to many things, but in this context, you were away from the goat monster and now in an environment where anything could pop out of these woods.

You continued in your most applicable choice of footwear. The tread marks were, unfortunately, imprinted in the snow. As much as you thought about covering them up, you soon realized that going back meant you would leave even more footprints, so it was best to continue forward. A few steps ahead was a log, one large enough to make an appropriate resting spot, but you knew well enough from the flower that it was “kill or be killed.” Any point of resting, especially in an open area, would put you at risk for God knows what, so you quietly sighed as you stepped over it.

You yawned once your heart started to finally slow down. It showed just how drained you were since the moment you understood that Toriel was mentally unstable. It further didn’t help that weakness began to show itself in your legs, making you regret stepping over the log more with every second. Despite your body’s protests, you kept going.

Not lingering too far behind was a broad skeleton wearing a typical winter jacket. He, for once, didn’t rest and make puns with the monster on the other side like he normally did. He suspected something was awry, and he wasn’t wrong for acting on those suspicions. However, he didn’t expect those suspicions to involve such a weak creature.. or so he thought.

He stood before the log you stepped over and grimaced upon it. His usual toothy grin contorted into a snarl as he lifted his leg, unleashing a loud CRUNCH from within its lifeless bark, and making your head snap around as he vanished from existence.

Well, that made you look back.

You decided to keep going, knowing fully well that going back was one of the stupidest decisions in existence to make. While your weakness was debilitating enough to cross out the option of running, it didn’t stop you from picking up the speed of your walking pace. It was only a few more feet till you were forced to stop, as the bars in front of you were too narrow to squeeze through. You thought about going around, as the gate did end, but looking over and seeing the spikes made you realize that it was just as pointless.

You analyzed the door and noticed that it lacked the typical lock and chain you’d often see on media. In fact, it didn’t even have a lock from the looks of it, which only confused you more as you know what prison doors looked like. Nevertheless, you saw this as an advantage and decided to try and open it. Your first instinct was to go one way, but it didn’t budge, so you tried the opposite direction, in which it still didn’t move. You then tried to see if maybe it would slide, as some doors can do just that. Even this proved to be completely useless.

“Fuck my life.” you muttered.

A deep chuckle sent your heart racing again. You had no choice but to turn around and see the bony monster laughing at your frustrations.

“It’s a decoy, human.” he croaked.

Despite your heart racing, your face expressed more of an annoyance at the statement than fear of the monster in front of you. Of course it was a decoy. A cruel joke had to happen at some point.

His shark-toothed grin widened at your expression. He even started to shake, a shake usually shown by someone who tries to hold in their laughter. You wanted to smile in response to him laughing, but you were torn between it and the possibility of whatever may happen to you now that you’re interacting with him.

He held his hand out, “Oh, where are my manners. I’m Sans, by the way.”

You stared at the hand for a moment, but deciding to not be rude as you were weak, you decided to go ahead and shake it. You yelped as a shock of electricity struck through your body, making whatever hair you had stand on edge. By this point, Sans was audibly laughing.

“The good ol’ joy buzzer!” he exclaimed, “Shit never gets old!”

Yeah… never gets old. Not the best timing right now.

You sighed as you tried to calm your nerves. The skeleton himself was soon calmer than you’d wish to be and stared at your shaken frame.

“Calm down. I’m not gonna hurt you. I’m not really into that sort of thing anyway.” he smiled.

You furrowed your brows, but believe it or not, you knew about the existence of other universes, so you knew this version of Sans wasn’t supposed to be a threat till much later. With this info in mind, you felt your nerves ease down.

“My brother, however,”

Oh god, that’s right.

“he’s a bit of a human fanatic. Hell, I’d say maniac.” he chuckled fakely.

Sans was nothing compared to Papyrus.

You turned your head towards the skeleton with a concerned expression on your face. He saw it and immediately put his hands up.

“Hey, hey. There’s nothing to be concerned about. Just because he’s a human maniac doesn’t mean he’s that scary.” he stated as he raised a hand to rub the back of his neck, “He just… doesn’t know his boundaries sometimes. He doesn’t really show his excitement, so people tend to see him as a ‘crêpe.’”

You showed a small expression of annoyance at the pun, as it wasn’t the best time to do so right now, but you decided to ignore the pun and focus on what he said. You were confused. You knew this Sans, so you would know about this universe’s respectful Papyrus. Papyrus was always depicted as loud and gruff, but was actually quite friendly once you got to know him. Some other people depicted him as very unmerciful and murderous, so to hear Sans say that he “doesn’t know his boundaries” triggered mixed signals in your head. Your red flags wanted to go off, but knowing how most depictions are, you wanted to see for yourself how he truly was.

Sans looked at the gate, and then back at you.

“Hang on, kid. I’ll help you get ‘pasta’ this.” he chuckled as he snapped his fingers.

In a flash, you both disappeared and reappeared on the other side. You shivered as you felt the static run through your body. The broad skeleton only chuckled at your expression.

“You’ll get used to it, kid.” he stated, “It’s nothing to be too ‘shocked’ over.”

These puns made you wanna punch him and laugh at them at the same time.

Regardless, Sans’s smile was soon gone, “You might wanna hide behind my station, kid. Usually when I’m gone this long, he goes to look for me.”

He had a point. The brothers, in most universes, were pretty close, so it would make sense that Papyrus would arrive soon if he went out to look for his brother. You quickly walked over and crouched down into the open cupboard. It wasn’t long till you heard the crunching of another monster, which was guaranteed to be him.

Sans acted like he was still looking for anything out of the ordinary as he turned to face his brother, “Hey, boss.”

“Sans, for the last time. You do not have to call me that.” the taller skeleton sighed in vexation.

The shorter skeleton gave his usual grin, “Sorry, bro.”

Your ears raised at the rich tone in his voice. Most people depict him with a voice similar to the classic Papyrus, only making it deeper and far rougher as to fit his intimidating appearance. You weren’t expecting something to be the equivalent of what chocolate ganache would sound like. It sent chills down your spine already, which began to strike your temptations to peak around from inside the cupboard.

Papyrus analyzed his surroundings before looking back at his brother, “Have you found anything anomalous?”

Sans shook his head, “Nah, bro. Have you?”

The taller skeleton sighed in disappointment, “Unfortunately no. I even contacted Dogamy and Dogaressa for any possible findings, but they reported to me with nothing. I truly believed that this would be the day to capture another human.”

Sans’s expression turned into one of empathy, “Sorry, bro. Maybe next time.”

“You can only say that so many times, Sans.” Papyrus mumbled.

He shrugged, “Maybe, but it’s gotta happen eventually, right? Six have fallen already.”

As the two began discussing the subject at hand, you finally decided to take the risk. You slowly began to shift and turn to peak around the corner. You got as low as you possibly could, knowing how tall some monsters can be. As Sans kept Papyrus occupied, you managed to peak one eye around the corner.

Seeing the sight of him sent more chills down your spine. His voice suited him, but you may have underestimated how well it did suit him. He was tall for one, easily over eight feet. However, your eyes kept drifting from one area to another upon his appearance. Aside from the height, he was hefty for a skeleton. You guessed “big boned” wasn’t just something the shorter skeletons went by, as it was clear that the “bones” that made up his arms were defined in a similar manner to muscles. Your eyes then drifted to his armor, especially those massive shoulder pads. They heaped over the bulky pauldrons and swooped upwards in a proud fashion. They were outlined in gold, which shimmered in what light was being produced from above. They were even accompanied by several more, which weren’t as detailed, giving the pads a sense of dominance.

Your eyes then drifted to his gauntlets, which were a deep, blood red. They were spiked, but in a manner that looked more like they were there for the purpose of being tools rather than just for looks. For what purpose? You didn’t really know the answer to that. You went further down and saw his claws, which, considering the distance between you and him, were impressive. If those are his actual claws, you wondered how he did anything with them.

You went down the torso and saw the many scars on his spine, which made you question why he wasn’t wearing anything for his midriff. Hell, the same could be said for his arms, as they didn’t have much protection either. From the front and back, maybe, but not from the sides. It didn’t stop you from noticing the skull on his belt, though. It seemed to show similar expressions with Papyrus himself, and it only led you to guess it was just some magic thing monsters had.

His pants appeared to be a type of latex, as it shined within the light. In spite of that, your eyes couldn’t stop staring at the boots. They were the same blood red like his gloves, but the top edges of them had a gold-on-black diamond pattern. They were outlined in gold just like the rest of his armor. Knee high and high heeled, he stood proudly in them. You would be able to see more of his appearance, but the scarf he wore hung all the way down past his butt.

You tried to stick out more as he wasn’t looking, but son of a gun if he hadn’t have moved like he did. Your head shot back behind the station, heart racing again. You hoped he hadn’t seen you, but your temptations were going wild again. You didn’t get to see his face. You got to see everything else except his face.

You decided to try the same tactic. By this point, he should’ve been busy with his brother. Yes, this was a dangerous environment, but if he was anything like the other depictions, he would be used to doing it so often. This meant that there was a chance of him not seeing you, as he’s so used to seeing everything in a certain order. You ducked your head down low again and peaked around the corner, silently gasping from what you saw.

You gravely underestimated how fitting his voice was. He was far more artistic compared to other portrayals, especially since he wore thick eyeliner. Said eyeliner looked like the original “cat eye” eyeliner used by Egyptians, which brought you home a sense of connection with the rest of his outfit. Seeing the eyeshadow made you realize that, unlike the others, this Papyrus actually wore makeup. His eyeshadow was a deep red, and it glittered in the light. From above, he sported definite eyebrows. They had to be drawn on, cause they were just too sharp to be natural. You then noticed his mouth as it moved. You knew skeletons had teeth on display, but it appeared that it wasn’t exactly the same kind of case with this monster. The “teeth” that were visible moved more like lips, and in some angles, you could’ve sworn you saw a “second” pair of teeth from behind.

As your eyes went back up, you froze. You were now caught by his eyes. They were black, but irises and pupils showed themselves from within the darkness. They glowed despite there already being light, but it was all beginning to be too much for your senses. They may have intimidated others, but you saw eyes full of passion and libido, and it was starting to make you weak.

You couldn’t help it.

He was fucking sexy.

You physically pulled yourself back as he moved to leave. Your heart was now racing, but it was no longer racing out of fear, but out of yearning. You heard the sounds of crunching from Sans, and you turned to see him towering over you.

“You’re safe now, kid.” he rasped, “He should be gone for a good while.. Why are you blushing?”

Oh fuck.

He soon made the connection in his head, “Kid, what the fuck?! How long have you been staring at him?!”

You nervously shrugged.

He only facepalmed, “Great. All that work for nothing.”

You apologized in your typical manner, but it was only responded with a sigh of disappointment.

“I hope you realize that just because he doesn’t seem to notice you doesn’t mean he actually hasn’t.” he grumbled.

You lowered your head in guilt. He distracted his brother for a reason, and you blew it. You wanted to mention to him why, but Sans already knew.

“I don’t think some of you humans have preferences when it comes to what’s attractive to you, don’tcha?” he asked.

You rocked your head from one side to another before shrugging. Some people did, but others were into weird shit. You weren’t exactly sure if being into a skeleton was the start of being on the freakier side of things.

Sans seemed to understand what was said, “I see. Guess you’re just someone who doesn’t want to be ‘bonely.’”

A chuckle managed to escape your throat. You were starting to feel more comfortable with him around, especially seeing how he distracted his brother just for you. Even though he might turn on you later, a small victory is still a victory.

“The underground’s dangerous, kiddo,” he explained, “but as long as you managed to stay away from my brother and the dogs, you should be fine.”

You nodded as you got up from being in such a small space. You stretched and thanked Sans as you went about on your way. You knew how dangerous the underground was, so it was only a matter of time till you suffer your first murder here. Sans only watched as you went on your way.

“God, I hope Paps doesn’t find them.” he muttered. __________________________________________________

Oh hey, I managed to write another X Reader. This time it’s with a skeleton.

Word count: 2,791.

Murderbot Reference: Character Descriptions Part 3

Fandom reference! I tried to note every time a person/thing got a physical description, as well as additional info like how augments work, etc. Please note that there may be spoilers for all five books, but especially Network Effect.

This post contains:

Murderbot, Body

Murderbot, Armor

Murderbot, Outfits

Corporation Rim Work Clothes + Business Attire

Safety Suits/Environmental Suits

EVAC Suits

Other posts: Part 1; Part 2

Murderbot, Body

·        No sex-related parts at all. Skin gets regenerated by cubicle or MedSystem fairly frequently. Organic and inorganic parts meet on arms, legs, chest and back. Until altered by ART, has no hair except top of head and eyebrows. SecUnit code normally keeps hair short to avoid interfering with armor.

·         Post-ART, eyebrows get a little thicker, grows fine body hair that hopefully make the organic/inorganic meeting areas look more human-natural. Head hair grows a few centimeters and “I could feel it, and it was weird.” ART also altered the way its skin met edges of inorganic parts, so they look more like augments. It grows its hair an additional 2 centimeters (~1 inch) in ES as more human camouflage.

·         Probably taller than most most humans: definitely taller than Mensah, Amena,Tapan, and multiple humans who were eyeing Tapan in the hall of their motel-thing. Grips Ratthi’s and Gurathin’s shoulders in ES after knee damage in order not to fall, which means it doesn’t have to reach up to their shoulders. Plus, was created to be able to carry humans.

·         Can peel back the skin around its shoulder joint to stick in an ID tag. It hurt, but no bleeding/leaking.

·         Skin in right arm can be peeled back where it meets the edge of energy weapon, and MB can store memory clips (fingertip-size) there. It feels weird and bulky. Inorganic parts around arm weapon port might look like augment designed to correct injury, but weapon port looks like weapon port.

·         Skin on fingers is very sensitive.

·         Knee is inorganic joint with skin right above; in ES injury that affects knee too close to inorganic joint for wound sealant to work. Feet have no organic parts and don’t look like medical augments for injured humans.

·         Dataport in back of neck can be hidden with shirt/jacket collars. Looks similar to interfaces of some augmented humans.

·         At least some inorganic parts have the company logo etched in.

·         Has a compartment under its ribs where it can store ART’s comm

·         Looks more human after ART’s change and most humans haven’t seen SecUnits before, but those who have are often still able to identify it as a SecUnit.

Murderbot, Armor

·         During contracts, stays in armor full-time unless damaged. Armor completely hides body. Comes in pieces; during ASR it has an alternate set it can pull out, but first would have to do diagnostics and fitting. Faceplate can be opaque or clear, and can also be retracted. Almost always kept helmet opaque and consequently is very bad at controlling its expression.

·         After killing GrayCris SecUnit, it and Mensah swap out key/identifiable pieces: arm and shoulder pieces on both sides, leg pieces that have the armor’s inventory code, chest and back piece with logos. Other pieces they don’t swap.

·         Skin suit goes on under armor.

 Murderbot, Outfits

·         ASR, patrolling non-uniform: Based on standard research group’s uniform, meant to be comfortable inside habitat: knit gray pants, long-sleeved T-shirt and jacket, like exercise clothes, plus soft shoes.

·         ASR, after repair and Mensah purchase: uniform, pants, long-sleeved T-shirt and jacket that cover all inorganic parts, with possible exception of neck dataport.

·         Stolen clothes after running away: Gray and black work clothes, long-sleeved T-shirt and jacket, pants and boots, stolen knapsack. Dataport visible, but looks like augmented interface.

·         ART’s crew uniform without logos: pants with lots of sealable pockets, long-sleeved T-shirt with a collar high enough to conceal dataport, soft hooded jacket, all in dark blue or black. Clothes get damaged with shrapnel in RP, but holes not very visible due to dark colors after cleaning.

·         Shop in ES: likes idea of long skirts, wide pants, full-length caftans, tunics and jackets that go to the knees. Likes idea of wearing them all. Chooses self-sizing workboots with shielding to protect against heavy things dropping, pants with lots of sealable pockets, long-sleeved shirt with a collar to cover dataport, and soft hooded jacket, in arrangement of black and dark blue. Also gets new knapsack with more sealable pockets.

·         In NE, once ship enters wormhole it changes into clothes it likes: human work boots, pants with lots of pockets, T-shirt, soft jacket, all in dark colors with no logos. Under jacket also is deflection vest from Station Security to add some protection against inert blades, slow projectiles, fire acidic gas, low energy pulses, etc.

·         Later wears ART’s crew uniform and logo doesn’t bother it “as much as usual.”

 Corporation Rim Work Clothes + Business Attire

·         Some miners wore coveralls and jackets with logos from various installation

·         Hired thugs in AC wore jackets and pants with deep side pockets big enough to conceal weapons or batons.

·         Most things MB wears are variations on generic human work clothes

·         The GrayCris rep in ES (a tall pale human with light-colored hair) wears “one of the many local variations” of business attire: a dark long-sleeved jacket that went to the knees, over wide pants.

 Safety Suits/Environmental Suits

·         In RP: Abene’s group wears “full suits” for safety protocol, include filtering, emergency air supply, and some protection for vulnerable human bodies. Abene’s includes a helmet with an emergency release tab at its bottom, on Abene’s neck. Once the tab is broken, the helmet won’t stay on. Abene’s group’s suits include pinlights visible in the dark. Abene wears a harness over hers that includes an emergency kit.

·         Environmental suits from ART: material feels thin but protects against a lot of toxic substances, has a closed breathing system attached. Fits under an EVAC suit.

 EVAC Suits

·         Kept in lockers. A full suit includes maneuvering jets, and has air supply. Has room for MB to stuff its small knapsack under its jacket before putting on EVAC suit.

·         Models in NE the lab module are slightly different, “more expensive”, where person can step in and pull it up with an assist from the suit’s own power supply. Amena has to tie up her hair when putting it on.

chap1

4000 words - xikeel and ned enter a gate to oblivion, and find it already occupied by some troubled new owners. ned meets an old friend. xikeel flirts with someone who just threatened to throw her into lava. wat will happen next

"This is... Different." Ned stated needlessly.

Xikeel blinked. "Yes, a bit."

They stood just inside a gate to the Deadlands, the volcanic plane of Mehrunes Dagon. This was hardly unusual for the two of them. They had been named the "Heroes of Kvatch" after all, and could barely go anywhere together without the town guard recognizing them and demanding their assistence. As a team, the argonian and bosmer had an almost preternatural talent for navigating this realm while skillfully not dying. It had been a few months since the sack of Kvatch, and this alien plane had already lost its novelty. 

What was unusual was the lifelessness of this island . And the piles of dead dremora soldiers placed in methodical stacks on the rocks nearby, all of their heads severed and dripping black blood down the stakes that ran through their mouths. And the fact that Xikeel and Ned two were standing waist deep in lily pad laden swamp water.

Before finding themselves in an unexpected wetland, the “Heroes of Kvatch” had been on their way back to Bruma from a stressful and ultimately fruitless weeklong errand to the Imperial City. Xikeel had been taking on her morning chore of feeding Shadowmere scraps of meat that the lazy horse had grown too spoiled to scavenge for herself. She had last seen Ned lying in a patch of sun, smoking something that left a pleasant, earthy scent on the nose, and just the slightest hint of sweet burned meat on the tongue.

She didn't rush him. In fact, she meant to join his basking as soon as she finished packing. It would be another three day's ride to Bruma, and the two were in no particular hurry to return to their friend with tidings of "the Mages Guild's library and every book seller in the city was cleaned out of most books on Daedric ritual runes, the only ones we got from your list were Glories and Laments and that one on alchemical uses for every organ in a clannfear, which we're guessing was more for light reading than anything else. Ned got a new sword though!"

Xikeel had just returned the sack of meat into Shadowmere's saddlebag when she found herself frozen. The background melody of insects and frogs had ceased as if they'd been wiped out of existence in the space of a heartbeat. She dimly processed that something was deeply wrong just as air then closed a heavy hand around her, hot and thick in a manner alien from the already oppressive humidity of central Cyrodiil’s jungle. Each breath was a gulp of something horrid that dripped into her lungs with an overwhelming taste of blood and ozone. She felt herself lagging a few inches behind her body. She felt each moment as an age.

The world seemed to take a breath. Tensed itself. Then, something instinctive in Xikeel became aware that time had resumed its normal function, just as the air split with a thunderous crack. A blast of energy knocked her off her feet and into the bush, leaving her stunned and gasping for breath, only dimly registering the colossal splashing noise that followed.

A high pitched whine filled the air. The soft morning light bled red. A gate to oblivion had just opened almost directly on top of their camp.

"Holy FUCK!" Ned yelled.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, they stood just within the gate, soaked and half coated in pond-scum. The water and the corpses of the realms inhabitants were unusual, but now that Xikeel had time to look at this island, so was its layout. They were in a great chasm between two parallel rows of towers, all connected by bridges and almost entirely shattered. At the center was a recognizable sigil keep, but it keeled to the side at an angle that should not have been possible to sustain. Rubble hung suspended mid-fall. Most strangely of all, its top was cleaved off entirely, with the sigil stone and its column of fire visible even at this great distance.

"You think we should even do this?" Ned sniffed. "I mean, what the hell even happened here?"

Xikeel scented the air. Blood, ozone, the smell of dead immortals, swamp. And underneath it all- "Ned, there were argonians here. I am smelling us everywhere!" She looked around in excitement. She began to sniff the air furiously, taking several steps forward.

"Hang on ‘Eel, this isn't right." Ned splashed up behind her.

"Well I am not smelling the smell of hostility, so I'm going to-" the words caught in her throat as her bare foot came down on something fleshy. Something that gave a start. Something that turned on a dime and plowed away through the water with just one swing of a massive tail.

"Ah. Someone is here." Xikeel said simply. The bosmer groaned behind her, beginning to draw his sword as Xikeel continued to stare ahead excitedly.

All was still for a moment. Subtly, the tip of a snout broke the dark water, followed by a pair of hooked horns. Two eyes blinked up at them, glowing dimly with reflective light. No one moved.

The water surged away as a massive form hoisted itself from beneath. A bulky, green  argonian man now loomed before the two of them, squinting through the dim light as he set down an equally hefty spear in the muck. He had wide red eyes, crowned with a rather small pair of horns resembling those of a bull. He flicked his forked tongue at the pair. Xikeel flicked back. He was not difficult to read. Big, but out of his element. Perhaps even scared- his gills flared outwards and eyes were held wide. He held the spear in an unpracticed grip, rather like one would hold a fighting staff. Oh!- she thought. He's just as confused as I am.

The strange man began to form the sound of speech deep in his throat, when his eyes narrowed on Xikeel's companion. He froze. A lily pad dropped from his shoulder into the murk with a fat plop. She heard Ned inhale sharply, before feeling his hand clumsily grasp at her shoulder and then lean as if he'd lost his balance. She stumbled under his weight, shooting him a questioning look, but his gaze was locked tightly ahead. Ned had the unmistakable look of a man seeing a ghost. Well, Xikeel had questions and no time for concerns of this man's corporeality.

"Hello, why are you h-"

Before Xikeel could speak another word, the water boiled and surged all around them. Dozens of argonians were rising from the murk and bearing down on the interlopers. The alien waters of the deadlands had been hiding an entire troupe of armed soldiers.

Every one of them appeared to hail from more deep-marsh tribes than Xikeel could count. They were scaled, scaleless, even feathered, all wearing little armor and many fresh wounds. The foremost soldiers crowded in, spear-tips lowered towards the interlopers. There was great murmuring, yet no one moved, as the troop seemed to await a signal.

How could she have been so stupid? This was a textbook ambush setup. They had probably walked directly over the hidden soldiers, staying perfectly still at the bottom of the water until their prey was surrounded. To be fair - she supposed, the deadlands of Mehrunes Dagon were not a textbook ambush location for a group of deep-marsh argonian soldiers. She stayed quiet as she observed, ignoring Ned's hand dug tightly into her shoulder. Something was off. Most of them bore the same look of confusion that had tugged at the first man's features. Their hands shook and their feet shifted. She sniffed. These were not trained soldiers.

The mass of soldiers rippled and awkwardly parted with sheepish expressions as a muscular and substantially smaller woman pushed through the front line. She was an unusual looking sarpa. And, Xikeel noted, she really was quite handsome. Her iridescent black feathers shed water like those of a waterfowl, yet she possessed the same fishlike gills as Xikeel's more reptilian stock. Unlike the other soldiers, she was fully armored in what appeared to be wamasu hide, treated for water and embroidered with beads. Even more unlike the other soldiers, her entire body radiated poise. Her feathery crest flagged erect, held almost as high as her spiked chin. With a grunt, she thrust her spear into the muck, and strode forward. The claws on her left hand were filed to the quick, hovering over a cruel looking dagger.

The green argonian saw this and let out a distressed chirp, drawing stares from those around him. A spiky companion glared and elbowed him, but the man let out a sharp hiss and stepped out of line towards his superior. She turned to glare at him. expectantly.  He grasped at words, opening and closing his wide jaw soundlessly until they caught on his tongue and sputtered out.

“(General, Ma’am, this - I know the bosmer. Uh, respectfully, he's not a, um. He's-")

His superior's eyes narrowed in annoyance.

("Go on, soldier.") ("Sorry, he's- Please don’t hurt him).” He finally spat out in increasing panic.

They were speaking Jel! Xikeel was not sure why this surprised her. Had it been that long since she'd even heard her native tongue?

The handsome woman turned, crest low to her nape, and spoke in a deep voice.

“(You know them?)” She jerked the corner of her snout towards the two, eyes narrow. This man far outclassed her in bulk, but looked tiny under her piercing red gaze.

“(The… the bosmer is a friend of mine. He kept me safe, when I was in the imperial’s arena. I don’t know why he’s here, but he can be trusted.)” He replied, using the familiar “he” pronoun to drive in his point.

“(And the saxhleel?)” The man with quill-like spines growled.

“(Ah... yeah, I... dont know her. But please...)” He trailed off.

“(I see.)” The woman’s slick feathers glimmered in the red light as she turned to stare the two interlopers down. “(But you don't give the orders here, Shap-Mota. I have half a mind to throw this mammal-licker and dryskin into the lava.)”

Shap-Mota let out another fearful chirp, looking between the woman and Ned in horror. His teeth were bared, gills held out far enough to show the pink flesh underneath. The general returned the gesture, half his size but bearing down with a practiced confidence that would have said otherwise. The crowd awkwardly waded back away from the two argonians. There would be a fight. Or, judging by how terrified Shap-Mota looked, a thrashing.  

Xikeel barely noticed the drama escalating around her, or the heavy breathing of her friend in the midst of an episode, and had instead been listening in silence and bristling with insult.  These people had wrongly clocked her as an ojel, an outsider. Assimilated and incapable of understanding the language.

“(Ah, excuse me. But you’re speaking my birth tongue, marsh-sister)” Xikeel interjected.

Shap-Mota and the general both whirled around, aggression nipped at the roots. The woman’s twitching crest betrayed a moment of surprise.

“(Interesting. It’s very rare to see a true egg-sibling in Imperial country.)” She mused. Some of the tension drained out of her taut frame, but her fingers still kissed the edge of her dagger. She paced back towards Xikeel and Ned. “(What is your business here?)”

Xikeel hesitated. Telling this woman that she was a shadowscale would easily have her rank most of the argonians present, perhaps even this general herself. However, if her story was later investigated and it was found that Xikeel the shadowscale was alive - and therefore had abandoned her order- the results would be catastrophic. Scales couldn't kill other scales, but deserters almost always wound up dead one way or another.

“(I am on an assignment of absolute secrecy,)” Xikeel bullshitted. "(I close these gates on this assignment, and this one just has appeared before me, as if fated...)" She paused for effect, and began to pace around, dragging Ned limply behind her. "(Yes, it pains me to say, but I cannot give more information, or the consequences may be dire. But I swear on the Hist of my birth that we are on the same side.")

A larger woman with a fishlike face snorted and flared her gills. “(Oh that's just rich. An ‘assignment of absolute secrecy?’ with that?”) She tossed her snout in Ned’s direction. Xikeel dared a nervous glance back at her friend. He still stood with the same dazed expression, eyes glazed and breathing slightly ragged. He was somewhere far away from here. Perfect.

Xikeel hissed dismissively. “(Please. In my field, having dumb muscle around cannot hurt)” she said with a practiced poker face. This seemed to satisfy most of the crowd. However, the large green man glared at Xikeel with a gaze that said he wanted to rip her in half, and a physique that said he very much could.

He opened his mouth and took a step towards Xikeel. "(You-)"

“(ENOUGH about the stupid elf! And get back to your fucking position!)" The dark-feathered woman took a frustrated swing in his direction him, feathers raised in irritation. He bowed back, continuing to glare from under his horns.

The general let out a groan of frustration and closed the gap between herself and Xikeel. She hooking a claw from her untrimmed right hand under Xikeel's chin, tilting it up slightly. 

"(If you are on our side, your business is not secret from a general of the An-Xileel.)”

Xikeel swallowed and flared her gills. “(Fine.)” She did not look at Ned, but prayed his attention would be captured enough to pick up on the ruse. “My name is Thux-Ha” Xikeel announced to the crowd in Cyrodiilic, then in Jel. She stretched out her neck and stood tall, as if to give credence to the name "Snake-Throat". She leaned towards the general, speaking quietly now.

"(I am under service of the King of the Black Marsh.)" she spoke in the old innuendo. "(I assume that will suffice.)"

The argonians close enough to hear rippled in surprise. Most outsiders still lingered under the assumption that the Black Marsh had a king, as if one saxhleel could ever represent the rainbow myriad of tribes that populated the land. To "Serve under the king" was merely to serve Sithis as Its scales, and Its scales were to be respected.

The general's eyes narrowed. She flicked her tongue. Xikeel flicked back. The larger woman huffed, leaning in until their muzzles nearly touched as the two took each other's scent in rapid succession.

Satisfied that "Thux-Ha" did not have the scent of a liar, the general leaned back.

"(She speaks truth)" She announced to the crowd. "(This is a kinsman. You will treat her with the same respect as myself. Believe it or not, this little snake ranks all of you)". She pulled her spear out of the murk, gesturing broadly.

"(Return to your positions. I'll finish dealing with our guests.)"

The crowd muttered amongst themselves, glancing back at the small argonian and elf in their midst, but did not object. They lowered themselves into the water, and began to kick off towards their separate posts. Xikeel counted the tails churning the algae. About fifteen to twenty saxhleel in total. Not counting herself, the general, and this "Shap-Mota" who remained staring at her friend with his hands clenched tight around his spear.

"(You too, soldier.)" The general addressed Shap-Mota. He gave a rather pathetic look at the still dazed bosmer before awkwardly flopping back into the murk.

The general remained standing before Xikeel, watching with narrowed eyes and a wrinkled nose as her troupe finished melting back into the water. Once it looked like they were never there, her piercing eyes returned to Xikeel.

"(Thux-Ha.)" She said, an odd quaver pulling at the edge of her voice.

"(Yeah?)"

The general looked around again, rotating her neck to scan the full perimeter. Then whipped back and dropped her face to Xikeel's level. In one moment, all of her previous poise rolled from her feathers like water.

"(We need help. Badly. Do you have a couple days?)"

Xikeel could barely keep herself from startling. She played off the motion into a shift of the feet, squinting in a smile.

"(Ahh, as I said, I have an assignment of great importance. I am unsure I can make time in my schedule... What is it you need?)"

The general drooped even lower, crest held tight against her neck.  

"(Every. Single. Person alive here is a civilian soldier. The other two troupes all got FRIED by the damned stupid sigil rock, and I am the only damned STUPID fucking ranking soldier left!)"

"(Oh, wow, that's-)"

"(We have one of our mages left trying to get us back to the marsh, and now that it's just me and my fucking auxiliary troupe of unpracticed nobodies left, we've got the GODDAMN dremora harassing us every other day and she can't get anything done!)" The general raved.

Xikeel searched for a response, but was distracted by the sound of splashing. Ned had wandered a few meters away, searching the water where the green argonian had been. He hissed a name. She shook her head and returned her attention to the general.

"(Uh, the gate is right there? You could always leave. Y-")

"(No the hell we can't! This is life or death for more people than you can possibly imagine!)". The general threw out her arms in exasperation, a few downy feathers flying like confetti. She remained in that position, eyes begging the woman's response.

"Shap? Shap-Mota?" Ned was several feet away, whispering at the water. The two argonian's eyes flicked to him, then back to each other. "(Well, what exactly are you wanting me to do? Because I am not sure what you are wanting from me.)" Xikeel said, putting her hands on her hips.

"(Just- Just come have a look at the sigil stone thing. See if you can help our mage. I know you came here to take it, shadowscale, but I believe our assignments here differ.)"

"Frog?" Ned called louder, flapping his hand around in the water as if to summon the man. The general whipped her neck towards him, then back at Xikeel. Her red eyes narrowed in exasperation as she brought her claws to her face yet again.

"(Can you PLEASE tell your elf to shut up?)"

"Ned, the general wants you to please shut up." Xikeel called over her shoulder.

Ned spun around and gestured wildly at her, mouthing something that was probably a curse. Xikeel smiled back at him, winking and giving the "okay" signal.

Xikeel turned away before she could see his response. "(I've told him. But I will need to confer with him first, let him know what is going on, yes)?"

The general's body melted with her sigh. "(So you will help?)"

"(I will see what I can do.)" Xikeel said casually, checking at her filed claws. "(Though, I would feel much better about taking this time off my assignment if I were to know your name, friend.)"

The general startled slightly, looking a little sheepish.

"(Ah, yes I - Ah - suppose we're of the same rank. It's Kot-Veesk.)"

"(Pleased to be working with you, Kot-Veesk.)" Xikeel smiled. 

Kot-Veesk stiffened back into her military poise, hands clasped behind her back.

“(You'll be doing a great service to me, and to the Marsh. Meet me by the spire as soon as you're finished)” The general said. Without another word, she strode collected her spear and vanished into the water.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ned finally seemed to have come back to reality as he cautiously approached. "Um, hey Thux-Ha." he said quietly. "Could you tell me what's going on?"

"The general here requests our assistance, and it’s probably pretty much what we were here to do anyway. Maybe. And I expect you to be polite and careful with what you say. A lot of these saxhleel likely understand your tongue and we do not need you insulting them, or compromising our assignment."

"Right." He said plainly, looking awkward.

The fact that Ned did not sass back seemed to indicate his understanding of the underlying message - "I had to lie to them, we’re probably still surrounded,  please in Sithis' name do not say ANYTHING that could come back to bite us"

"Listen, where did that one we saw first go? He was-he was just here a second ago."

"Ah, the green one? He said to them that he knew you. Who-"

They were interrupted by the man himself emerging yet again from the murk, looking around nervously as if he expected the general to descend upon him with the wrath of a god at any moment. Satisfied at her absence, he turned his gaze to Ned with an intensity that burned the air between them more than the open flame of the deadlands already had. Finally, he spoke in near-perfect Cyrodiilic.

“Nedirael? That is you, isn’t it?"

Xikeel turned to her friend in a whole new type of confusion, dropping her arms into the universal gesture for "what the hell is going on?". It was to no avail, as Ned continued to stare past her with a face twisted into a crossroads of relief and absolute agony.

"Hi, Frog.” He responded in a wavering voice.

“’Nedirael’???” Xikeel hissed.

‘Frog’ dropped his spear and practically lunged for the shell-shocked bosmer. Xikeel instinctively reached for her knife, only to be stopped by a sight more unexpected than some long delayed enactment of revenge.

Shap-Mota had bent down and pulled the bosmer into a gentle embrace, emitting a pleased rumble as he eagerly pressed his forehead against Ned’s. He then rubbed the bridge of his snout against the other man's face, slow and savoring, in a gesture Xikeel knew well as an affectionate greeting. A very, very affectionate greeting. Ned seemed to know this as well, as he shakily returned the gesture, eyes still wide. The only sound was the two men’s horns awkwardly clacking against each other.

Shap-Mota finally pulled back, still holding a slightly limp Ned by his shoulders.

“It is so good to see you, old friend!"

"It's. Yeah it's.." Ned trailed off, his yellow eyes starting to look bloodshot.

"Are.. you okay?" Frog cocked his head. Ned had suddenly become very interested in the murky water still lapping at his own legs. His eyes locked downward, lips trembling.

“I thought you died.” Ned said flatly.

Shap-Mota recoiled slightly, hissing faintly in confusion.

"Wha- How?"

"Are you kidd-You were being dragged off the killing floor the last time I saw you, I-" Ned's voice caught in his throat. Shap waved at the air with his hands as if grasping for words. "I... I was released! They carried me out after that... I, ah, know I was not allowed to say goodbye, but I figured at least one of the guards might have told you?"

Ned shook his head, looking like he'd just been kicked in the stomach. He laughed without humor. "Uh, no. I asked for you and they always just said they didn't know, didn't care. You... You know how they were."

The argonian was silent for a moment.

“They just released me after my last match. Said my sentence was up. I wanted to stay and wait for you, but... Well, I'm sure your argonian friend has told you about how the Hist started calling our people back." He spat the word 'friend' like venom, glaring at Xikeel. She was about to say something, when he shook his head and continued. "I... I'm so glad they freed you, too. I wish I could have stayed to see it.”

"Yeah, uh. So do I." Ned murmured, half to himself.

The two stood in a morose silence, bridged by Shap-Mota's now limp arms still grasping Ned's shoulders. Ned finally stepped back out of the man's grip, rubbing at his eyes a little too hard. His knuckles were coming away wet.

Xikeel made up her mind as his breathing began to hitch. This was probably none of her business.

"Stay where I can find you, old man." She said to Ned, walking off towards the spire and not waiting for a response.

Huntress Mark IV: White Rose

White Rose Week 2020, Day 8: Free Day

Faced with the unbeatable Grimm, humanity adapted, developing a new weapon capable of dealing with the giant monsters.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24773473

“I would kill for a cheeseburger,” Ruby sighed.

Weiss ignored her, even though she knew that doing so would only make her dolt of a partner worse. Sure enough she sighed again, louder, and, when that didn't work, she actually said 'sigh' out loud. Finally Weiss bowed to the inevitable. “What?”

“I said, I'd kill for a cheeseburger.”

“Well, unless you intend to try human meat I'm not sure what you expect me to do about it,” Weiss said.

“I don't want you to do anything,” Ruby pouted. “I just wanted to complain.”

“Oh, I see,” Weiss hummed. “Well, if we're complaining about things that we know won't get fixed by talking about it, I'm stuck with a dolt of a partner who won't let me focus on the sensors when we're waiting to ambush a pack of Grimm.”

“Jeez, that does sound annoying,” Ruby said blithely. “Hey, if you could eat anything, what would you eat? Like, right now? Usually I'd say strawberries, or cookies, but I really want a big ol' juicy cheeseburger. What about you?”

“Some silence maybe,” Weiss said. “I would love some silence.”

“Silly Weiss, you can't eat silence.”

Weiss just closed her eyes, slowly counting to ten in her head. It wouldn't look good if she strangled her partner while on the job. Or ever, probably, although she'd likely get a special dispensation from people that knew Ruby if it didn't interfere with her field work.

A beeping sound attracted her attention, and she stiffened, focusing completely on the many screens in front of her. Even Ruby became quiet, recognizing when Weiss was in the middle of something that truly demanded all of her attention.

“I'm picking up Grimm,” Weiss said. “I'm reading a pack of Beowolves. One of them might be an Alpha, but he's staying in the middle of the pack so it's hard to get a reading on him.”

“ETA?” Ruby asked.

“Five minutes,” Weiss said.

“Alright!” Ruby cheered. “Let's get this finished! We take care of this pack and we can head back to Vale and celebrate.”

“That sounds nice,” Weiss said with a smile as she began to work her way through her part of the checklist as the two of them prepared for combat. “We should go to that new sushi place that just opened up.”

“What- no! Cheeseburger Weiss! Cheeseburger!”

“But you said celebrate,” Weiss said innocently. Despite the amount of wear and tear they'd put on it over the past few years, their vehicle came up smoothly, the work by the mechanics, as well as their own care, keeping it ready despite everything. “Sushi would make for a nice celebration.”

“Bleh. Raw fish. That's not food. Where's the grease? Where's the meat. Where's the beef!”

“But Blake would come along if we go for sushi,” Weiss said. “Checklist clear. Ready?”

“Checklist clear, ready,” Ruby agreed as she flicked the last few switches. “Condition green, everything normal. And if I ask Yang she'd go for burgers, and then Blake would come with her.”

“Not if I mention sushi to Blake first,” Weiss said smugly. “You know there's no way Yang would disappoint Blake by not giving her fish when she asks for it.”

“Noooo!” Ruby cried. “Not if I get to them first!”

“Who's running the comms, Ruby,” Weiss said. “I just need to type a quick message…”

“No fair! Please! I really, really want a cheeseburger. Greasy beef, gooey cheese, greasy and gooey bread from the beef and the cheese… and all those crispy, greasy fries!”

Weiss made a face. “Ugh. Are you trying to convince me to send Blake that message?”

Ruby sighed. “What do you want?”

“Want?” Weiss asked, an expression of false innocence on her face so fake even Penny would've seen through it. “Whatever do you mean?”

Ruby crossed her arms and gave her a look. After a moment Weiss smirked. “Well, there was that new ballet opening this weekend.”

Ruby looked torn, her face pained as she struggled with the difficult choice, before finally her shoulders slumped. “Fine. We can go to the stupid ballet.”

Weiss leaned over and gave her a quick kiss. “Now see, was that so bad?”

“Yes,” Ruby pouted.

“Well, why don't you work out some aggression on those Grimm,” Weiss said. “They'll be here right about… now.”

With that Ruby flicked the last switches, grabbing both sticks and working the pedals. Their combat mech, a Huntress Mark IV, stood from cover, the plants they'd affixed to it falling away to reveal its custom white and red paint job. It resembled a human knight without a head, but standing twenty feet tall, and was exceptionally bulky and broad in the chest. Bight spotlights on either side of the torso lit up the dense woods at the press of a button by Weiss, and the arms lifted, revealing the pair of heavy gauss gatling cannons mounted on the underside of each.

Even inside of the protected cockpit the sound of both cannons firing was loud. They spat forty millimeter ferrous slugs at five times the speed of sound, at a rate of two hundred slugs per second. Anyone outside of the combat mech would've been instantly deafened, and even nearby Grimm howled in pain at the assault on their eardrums.

Trees between them and the Grimm pack were instantly cut down, and the Grimm faired little better. As Ruby scythed the arms across the battlefield Grimm were cut cleanly in half, the giant monsters, which rivaled the height of the Huntress mech, were no match for so much firepower at such close range.

Weiss kept a close eye on the sensors, calling out warnings whenever one of the Beowolves tried to flank them. Ruby would respond by running the mech backwards, or, if that failed to buy sufficient distance, she would fire off the jump jets, sending them flying through the air until they were away from the rampaging Grimm.

“I see the alpha!” Ruby shouted.

“On it,” Weiss said, quickly preparing a firing solution. Once she had it ready she glanced at the main view screen, where the gargantuan Grimm, half again as tall as their mech, loped towards them, its thick white bone armor repelling even the devastating gauss cannon, as Ruby kept one firing at it while the other continued mopping up the smaller Beowolves. “Ready!”

“Light 'em up!” Ruby shouted.

Weiss flipped up the cover on the button, and then pressed it. The shoulders of the mech lifted up, revealing four small missile launchers on each side, which then began to spew forth dozens of missiles from each tube. The screens dimmed, replacing the normal picture with a composite from the high resolution radar system and other sensors, as the explosions from hundreds of plasma missiles fired at point blank range made sight impossible. Their own mech rocked on its stabilizers, before the barrage cut off.

“It's too close, pull back or get out the scythe,” Weiss said.

“Hmm, it'll regen too fast if we pull back,” Ruby said. “Looks like the missiles peeled its armor off, so I'll go hand to hand.”

Weiss looked up at the main screen, which had finally reverted to normal vision. The Alpha Beowolf was missing its armor and skin, with black smoke rising from all over its body. Despite that the creature kept pressing forward, somehow moving even faster as it kept the ruined, now eyeless face pointed at the mech. All around the beast was a vast, oblong wasteland of glass, as the plasma missiles had utterly vaporized everything within twenty meters of the Grimm as it moved, the heat so intense that the surrounding trees turned directly into ash without starting a forest fire.

With a whoop of excitement Ruby launched the mech towards the Alpha, pulling a long pole from its back as she did so. The pole served as a barrel for the long sniper rail gun, which fired hypervelocity rounds capable of destroying a normal Grimm to the very edge of radar range, but it also served as the body of the mech's melee weapon. With the press of a button a blade of pure plasma emerged from the end of the pole, creating a massive, incredibly lethal scythe, which Ruby quickly put to use.

As much as she enjoyed watching Ruby fight at close range, Weiss returned her attention to the sensors, providing quick warnings whenever one of the few surviving Beowolves tried to ambush them. Dealing with the minor threats slowed them down, but they were swiftly dispatched with a single swing of the scythe or a burst of gauss cannon fire. It was still enough to keep the Alpha in the fight, with even the terrible injuries already inflicted rapidly regenerating, the plasma wounds barely slowing it down. Finally, when the last of the small Grimm had sacrificed themselves, Weiss gave the all clear, and Ruby set to work.

The Alpha Beowolf didn't last much longer after that.

“And that's a wrap!” Ruby crowed once Weiss had verified the all clear one last time with her sensors.

“I suppose so,” Weiss said, before pressing a few buttons on her comm controls. “White Rose to Beacon Actual. Dogs put down, returning to base. Over.”

“Was that worth a kiss?” Ruby asked hopefully when she finished.

“Hmm… I don't know,” Weiss said. “You took a long time dealing with that Alpha. Losing your touch?”

“No way!” Ruby shouted. “Did you see how old it was! Besides, I got it in the end.”

“Fine,” Weiss sighed, before leaning over and giving Ruby a long, toe curling kiss. “Sushi time?”

“No! Weiss! Cheeseburgers!”

5e Nunu and Willump, the Boy and his Yeti build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Riot Games)

You've got a friend in me; you've got a friend in me!

When the road looks rough ahead and you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed... You just remember what your old pal said:

Boy, you've got a friend in me. Yeah, you've got a friend in me!

GOALS

Every adventure is better with a friend! - Nunu is as much a boy as he is the friend of the Yeti.

It's a sword called Svellsongur! - The heart of a child can save the Frejlord, and in his heart is a song.

Gigantulossal snowball! - Ice can be nice, and it’s all in good fun to throw snowballs around!

RACE

Nunu’s a human... but he’s also a small child so we can instead make him a Halfling! As a Halfling your Dexterity score increases by 2. You have Halfling Nimbleness to move through the space of a creature that is bigger than you, and are Brave for advantage against being frightened. But most importantly you are Lucky: if you roll a 1 on a d20 you can reroll the dice! Consider it the yeti magic protecting your childlike innocence.

For subrace Lightfoot Halflings get a +1 increase to Charisma, and they are Naturally Stealthy and able to hide behind creatures that are one size larger than them. Want to play hide-and-seek with Willump? Hide behind him! He’ll never see you!

If you want a bit more magic in your life Lotusden Halflings from Wildemount get some innate (Wisdom-based) spellcasting. Most of it is nature based which isn’t too in-flavor for Nunu, but it’s fun!

ABILITY SCORES

15; CHARISMA - You managed to tame the fearsome yeti with nothing but your young innocence!

14; CONSTITUTION - More of Willump’s Constitution than your own, but the two of you share a health bar after all.

13; WISDOM - Nunu learnt many a lesson about the Frejlord from his mother, and always knows deep down how people feel.

12; DEXTERITY - Along with our racial improvement this is more than enough DEX; you’ll be riding Willump anyways, and he’s kinda bulky.

10; INTELLIGENCE - You’re a kid with child-like naivety, even with your big best friend helping you.

8; STRENGTH - It’s on Willump to do the heavy lifting; not you.

BACKGROUND

Nunu travels around the Frejlord, helping people out and fighting monsters. That’s a Folk Hero if I’ve ever seen one! As a Folk Hero you have Animal Handling proficiency to help Willump, and he has Survival proficiency to help you! You also get proficiency with Land vehicles as well as a tool of your choice. (Any tool will do but maybe keep away from the Brewer’s Supplies? You’re underage!)

Your feature Rustic Hospitality is there for people to help a boy and his yeti. Commoners will always be willing to help you, as long as you aren’t mean and no one mean’s looking for you.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - BARD 1

Of course you’re a Bard! As a Bard you get proficiency with 3 musical instruments, as well as any three skills! A Flute is MANDATORY as Nunu, and I’d suggest the other two wind instruments (Pan Flute / Shawm) as well, but of course pick whatever instrument your mother would teach you. As for skills Persuasion comes naturally to a kind-hearted boy, and your mom taught your plenty of History. You can pick whatever you think will be useful for your third skill but I opted for some Arcana knowledge thanks to Willump.

The main feature of a Bard is Bardic Inspiration. If your friends need a little help you can encourage them with a song on your flute to give them a d6 to an attack roll, ability check, or saving throw. You can inspire people a number of times equal to your Charisma modifier, and for now your inspiration comes back on a long rest.

But of course the other important part of being a Bard is spellcasting! You learn two cantrips from the Bard list: while it isn’t cold damage icy words from Vicious Mockery will let your enemies know that you’re here to defeat them with your big best friend! For some more fun magic Prestigitation will let you do all sorts of fun stuff! Fireworks! Cool pictures! Fire-wait fire? Regardless read the spell over to see all its effects.

For your leveled spells Animal Friendship is good to stop the big bad wolves from harming the townsfolk. Getting Willump to Detect Magic would be helpful, and while healing isn’t something you can normally do everyone appreciates a Healing Word! And for your final spell why not have a good laugh? Tasha’s Hideous Laughter forces an enemy to fall over laughing! All in good fun!

LEVEL 2 - BARD 2

Level 2 Bards get Jack of All Trades, letting you add half your proficiency bonus to any skill check you aren’t proficient in. You’re just a kid, so why not try EVERYTHING?

You also get Song of Rest. When taking a short rest you can play the flute to let anyone who’s recovering health with hit die recover an additional d6 of health. Nothing like stories by the fire.

You also get another spell at this level and there’s nothing like a bit of Heroism to keep fighting until the job’s done!

LEVEL 3 - BARD 3

Third level Bards get Expertise in two skills: Animal Handling will be the best to take care of Willump, and Persuasion will be the best way to unite the Frejlord!

You can also choose your Bard College at third level. Ugh; school? Regardless the College of Valor for a warrior who they sing songs about! As a Valor Bard you get proficiency with martial weapons, shields, and medium armor; that’s why I told you to keep your DEX at 14! Grab medium armor and a shield to keep yourself safe while Willump fights! You also get Combat Inspiration, letting your allies to add your Bardic Inspiration to their AC or their damage die with their weapons, which were basically the only two things you couldn’t add inspiration to before.

You can also now learn second level spells: freeze an enemy over with Hold Person to let your allies pelt ‘em with snowballs! ...Arrows work too...

LEVEL 4 - BARD 4

At fourth level you get an Ability Score Increase: naturally you should increase your Charisma for better Bard stuff! You could also learn another spell but for now I’m going to hold out until...

LEVEL 5 - BARD 5

At 5th level your Bardic Inspiration increases to a d8, which is great because you also get Font of Inspiration to get your inspiration dice back on a short rest!

And we’ve got a lotta magic to learn: one cantrip and two spells. For your cantrip have Willump make some Dancing Lights! For your leveled spells Leomund’s Tiny Hut is a good way to get a good night’s rest. (I feel like now would be a good time to mention that Bards can cast Ritual spells.) For a ranged Absolute Zero try Hypnotic Pattern to incapacitate everyone in a 30 foot cube.

LEVEL 6 - BARD 6

As a Valor Bard you get an Extra Attack at 6th level, allowing you to attack twice. Shame you won’t really be attacking much, but you can grab a sword if you want.

Back to magic! Enemies Abound will make an enemy think their friends are their enemies! I know it sounds confusing but basically they’ll hit anyone who’s close to them, so keep away!

Oh and right: you get Countercharm too. You can use your action to give an ally advantage against a charming or frightening effect. I suppose it’s helpful, and in-character.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 7 - BARD 7

7th level Bards can cast 4th level spells: why not make your own winter wonderland with Hallucinatory Terrain? You can make the terrain in a 150-foot cube in range look, sound, and even smell like some other sort of natural terrain. A snowy landscape is fun and all but this is a really crazy spell that you can do some awesome stuff with: make an enemy fall into a lake that they think isn’t actually there, or make them run around a lake that they think is there. All it takes is a little imagination!

LEVEL 8 - BARD 8

8th level Bards get an Ability Score Increase, so cap off your Charisma to be the best leader of the Frejlord a little boy can be!

You can also learn another spell and to create some more confusion how about the spell Confusion? Each creature in a 10-foot-radius sphere centered on a point you choose within range must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw when you cast this spell or be affected by it. When affected by confusion, they have to think really hard about what they’re doing! Roll a d10 to see what they do, and read the spell yourself to see what it can really do.

LEVEL 9 - BARD 9

9th level Bards see their Song of Rest increase to a d8. Does this ability scale really poorly? Yes!

You know what doesn’t scale poorly? Some 5th level spells! There’s a lot of great spells at 5th level but I’d like some more Absolute Zero. Synaptic Static is one of my favorite spells, doing a ton of psychic damage and also making it harder for enemies to fight!

LEVEL 10 - BARD 10

10th level Bards get a d10 Bardic Inspiration die, Expertise in 2 skills (honestly pick whatever since it’s unlikely you have many skills to choose from), and a new cantrip. (Mending would help if you accidentally break your flute.)

But most importantly: Magical Secrets! I’ve been mentioning Willump a lot but we’ve yet to get our furry friend. Well 10 levels later we can finally grab Find Greater Steed! You can summon any of the spirits listed to act as a mount: they have the statistics provided in the Monster Manual, though it is a celestial, fey, or a fiend instead of its normal creature type. (Fey would probably make the most sense for Willump?) If it has an Intelligence score of 5 or lower its Intelligence becomes 6, and it gains the ability to understand one language of your choice that you speak.

You control the mount in combat, and can communicate with it telepathically if it’s within 1 mile of you. While mounted you can make any spell you cast that targets only you also target the mount. The mount disappears temporarily when it drops to 0 hit points or when you dismiss it as an action, dropping any equipment it was wearing or carrying. Casting this spell again re-summons the bonded mount, with all its hit points restored and any conditions removed.

So... let’s talk Willump: if going by the officially listed creatures in Find Greater Steed’s description a Dire Wolf would probably be the best imitation of Willump, though a Saber-toothed Tiger or even Rhinoceros would also make sense. But if your DM is a cool DM ask them if you could actually summon a Yeti with some of its abilities nerfed.

The rules for mounted combat say that an intelligent creature (which Willump probably would be classified as) rolls for initiative as well, and acts independently. Find Greater Steed mounts will obey your commands thankfully, but if you don’t want to take your turn over two turns then just opt to have the mount move on your turn.

Now here’s where things get a little... Beastmaster Ranger. You know how I made it really hard for you to actually fight in melee range? Ask your DM if your mount can do the attack action instead of you. The way I see it this doesn’t really break anything, and this allows you to get value out of your extra attack at level 6. I really suggest talking about this spell with your DM before you take it as its one of the more overwhelming spells in D&D. But this is the only thing in this build that’s really going to ask a lot from your DM.

Now that everything’s been said about Willump: how about a more simple spell? Cone of Cold is half an Absolute Zero, letting you blast creatures in a 60 foot radius in front of you with ice and snow! It’s a nice, icy trick up your sleeve for a Bard who’s been mostly supportive so far. Yeah: could’ve taken Snilloc’s Snowball Swarm because it has “snowball” in the name, but Cone of Cold is like, a thousand times more awesome!

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 11 - BARD 11

11th level Bards can learn 6th level spells, so how about you take a page from Sona’s book with Otto's Irresistible Dance. Choose one creature to make them dance! Your friends have advantage to hit a dancing enemy, and they have disadvantage on dexterity saves. They can use their action to try to make another save against the effect, but it’s such a fun bard spell!

LEVEL 12 - BARD 12

12th level Bards get an Ability Score Improvement and since our Charisma is maxed out now would be a good time to finally grab the Inspiring Leader feat to help your friends charge into battle!

LEVEL 13 - BARD 13

At 13th level your Song of Rest increases to a d10, but more importantly you can now cast 7th level spells like Mirage Arcane, which is basically just a better version of Hallucinatory Terrain.

LEVEL 14 - BARD 14

14th level Valor Bards get Battle Magic, letting Willump attack as a bonus action after you cast a spell. But more importantly you get more Magical Secrets!

Investiture of Ice from the Elemental Evil Player's Companion is perfect for a boy from the Frejlord. You get immunity to cold damage and resistance to fire and the ability to move across snow and ice without extra movement. Your Frozen Heart makes the area within 10 feet of you difficult terrain for anyone other than you (and I’d argue it wouldn’t be hard for Willump either), and you can use your action to toss some snowballs! Each creature in a 15-foot cone must make a Constitution saving throw or take 4d6 cold damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a success. A creature that fails its save against this effect has its speed halved until the start of your next turn.

For a more controlling Absolute Zero that won’t munch on your spell slots Sleet Storm will summon a blizzard to heavily obscure an area and make it very hard for an enemy to walk through the area.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 15 - BARD 15

15th level Bards get the most inspiration possible with a d12 Bardic Inspiration die! You can also cast 8th level spells but the truth is that the high level Bard spells aren’t too impressive. Regardless Power Word Stun will finally let you, well, stun people!

LEVEL 16 - BARD 16

16th level Bards get another Ability Score Improvement but at this point you can probably invest in some more Feats. Lucky is always nice?

LEVEL 17 - BARD 17

17th level Bards finally see their Song of Rest increase to a d12... yeah this ability scales poorly...

But you get the ULTIMATE YETI POWER of a 9th level spell, and it’s about time for true Absolute Zero! Psychic Scream lets you force up to 10 targets to make an Intelligence saving throw. On a failed save, a target takes 14d6 psychic damage and is stunned. On a successful save, a target takes half as much damage and isn’t stunned. A stunned target can make an Intelligence saving throw at the end of each of its turns. On a successful save, the stunning effect ends.

Oh and their heads explode if this kills them. Just... felt the need to point that out.

LEVEL 18 - BARD 18

18th level Bards get their last two Magical Secrets and I think it’s time for some fun stuff:

Illusory Dragon lets you summon a giant dragon! When the illusion appears, enemies that can see it must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or become frightened of it for 1 minute. If a frightened creature ends its turn in a location where it doesn’t have line of sight to the illusion, it can repeat the saving throw, ending the effect on itself on a success.

As a bonus action you can move the illusion up to 60 feet. At any point during its movement, you can cause it to exhale a blast of energy in a 60-foot cone originating from its space. When you create the dragon, choose a damage type: acid, cold, fire, lightning, necrotic, or poison. Each creature in the cone must make an Intelligence saving throw, taking 7d6 damage of the chosen damage type on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

The illusion is tangible but attacks miss it automatically, it succeeds on all saving throws, and it is immune to all damage and conditions. A creature that uses an action to examine the dragon can determine that it is an illusion by succeeding on an Investigation check against your spell save DC. If a creature discerns the illusion for what it is, they can see through it and has advantage on saving throws against its breath.

And for your other Magical Secret... Wish. I think you know what Wish does, because it does anything you want! (Within reason.) My suggestion: Wish 1 get your mom back, Wish 2 make Willump your immortal best friend forever, Wish 3... ice cream!

LEVEL 19 - BARD 19

19th level Bards get their last Ability Score Improvement: again look into some good Feats you may want. My suggestion: give Willump some Toughness so you can have a total of 38 extra HP!

LEVEL 20 - WARLOCK 1

Ah I’m just screwing with you.

BARD 20

20th level Bards get Superior Inspiration, allowing them to regain one use of Bardic Inspiration as they roll initiative if they have none when combat starts. Is this a weak capstone? Yeah, but you also get more spells and stuff which is neat too.

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Let's put the venture, in adventure! - For once this isn’t a multiclass nonsense build: just straightforward spellcaster levels. That means you get access to some of the strongest spells available, including Wish thanks to your Magical Secrets!

Battle is the song I came to sing! - You are the king of inspiration: a d12 that allies can add to ability checks, attack rolls, saving throws, damage throws, and their AC! With a d12 of extra AC even the Wizard won’t be hit, and an extra d12 to damage is never a bad thing!

Everyone knows heroes are brave - You are skilled in literally everything thanks to Jack of All Trades, and there’s pretty much zero chance any of your Persuasion checks will fail.

CONS

A Frostguard walks into a mead hall and... - Who would’ve guessed a child isn’t the brightest bulb? The only stat you invested in is Charisma, and while Feats are cool and all your saving throws are rather subpar. Jack of All Trades will still help you with skills but a -1 to Strength saves isn’t great, and a mere +2 to Constitution saves means you’ll drop concentration a lot.

Make way for the yeti! - Some of your spells, especially your lower level ones are fun but very situational. By the time you’re facing some really big bads Heroism and Hideous Laughter will be rather subpar.

Willump's not a monster - Controlling two characters can be hard, and a DM may not be completely okay with it. Be sure to cover everything with them before you go in and summon your yeti pall to fight by your side.

But heroes can’t do everything. I mean they can, but they’ve gotta struggle a bit! Hero’s journey! But a hero is nothing without their mighty steed, their trusted squire... and their best friend.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

The Hero’s new Armor (Legend of zelda)

Zelda smiled as she looked over her kingdom from her balcony, Hyrule was safe and recovering nicely in the wake of Gannon's defeat and everything was returning to normal. and she had her loving and wonderful husband to be to thank for that. however, even as she admired the beauty of the landscape, a yellow and putrid smelling tidal wave started to wash over the land, coming towards the castle and- Zelda sat up with a start, and then looked down at her bed, then over at her sleeping hero. who had wet the bed. again. "Link wake up! you're doing it again!" she growled, grabbing a pillow and hitting him on the head with it. Link, who had been snoring gently around his thumb (he was a total thumb sucker in his sleep, something that Zelda found to be ADORABLE!) he sat up now and glared, then looked down and groaned. "Zelda I'm-" "Save it." she growled. "I know, you're sorry. and you did everything you were suppose to, including not having anything to drink before bed and you don't know HOW this just keeps happening." she huffed. Zelda had tried, she really had, to be understanding the first dozen times this happened. But she was getting sick and tired of being pissed on every night. Link for his part looked like a scolded child, and had his head downcast, his thumb on the edge of his lip. "Oh for din's sake.. come on, we'll get the servants to clean this bed up and find somewhere else to sleep." she paused and sniffed the air. "After a bath." she added and held her nose. naturally it was Impa who answered their call first, and while she had the bedding taken care of she also lead them to a private bath area, having prepared two tubs of warm water. "...You were ready for this?" Link asked in a small voice as he took off his green night shirt. "Well when someone has wet the bed every single night for the past month, one tends to notice a pattern. the sheikah chuckled. "Oh." Link said and slipped into his tub, the warm water filling good and grabbing a knot of soap weed, he began to scrub himself. The princess just glared and huffed, willing herself to calm down, it wasn't really fair to be mad at Link for something he couldn't control but at the same time she was a princess, soon to be Queen and she was getting pissed on like a dirty green rupee whore! sliding her purple night grown off she slid into her tub (they had separate ones as sometimes the warm water made link relax a little TOO much..ugh) she let Impa clean her, relaxing herself as her faithful servant/bodyguard/best friend took care of her, and put her mind to work on the Link problem. She couldn't just dump him.. she loved the blond haired hero with all her heart even if he was annoying at times. They had already tried different potions and brews that were suppose to help, and at best they did nothing, at worse.. she wrinkled her nose recalling the night Link had messed the bed. as the royal consort Link was expected to sleep in her room, though she could always make a excuse for why he wasn't, heck, they had managed to cover up any rumors over the bed wetting so far so Zelda knew the castles servants were trustworthy. Still she'd miss falling asleep while snuggling with Link, with him nuzzling into her almost like a small child or a bab- Zelda opened her eyes and smiled, she knew what they had to do, and was shocked with herself she hadn't considered it sooner. "M'lady?" Impa asked politely. "Finish up here Impa, then you and I have much to plan." She said and smiled over at Link, who was just laying back in the tub, enjoying it and too zoned out to see the almost fiendish look upon his beloveds face. After their baths the couple had been found separated beds, which was disappointing for Link, he found listening to Zelda's breath and heart beat to be oddly comforting but he made due and managed to sink back into a slumber, once again one that was filled with flashes and images from his many battles that he had waged to save the kingdom. Thankfully when he awoke in the morning, the bed was dry. He would of hated to need anther bath and to of been responsible for two pissy beds. getting dressed he had breakfast with the princess, who as usual had calmed down and was kind with her words,then he went off to go and do the morning drill's the palace guards. As the royal consort he didn't NEED to do anything around the palace but Link had taken it upon himself to train the palace guards, so that the next wanna be Gannon would have a hard time of it. After lunch with the guards (Zelda had been busy, and as the princess of a recovering nation, Link understood this) Link went out on horseback with a patrol to sweep up any left over monsters created by Gannon's dark magic.after a scuffle with some Moblins who had been trying to bring back the king of evil with a poorly thought out plan (they had been plotting to steal Gannon's remains even though he wasn't dead so much as trapped) they rode back and washed up, with link dressing in a formal pair of white pants, and a dark blue dress shirt, and taking the time to comb his hair for supper with the court. (Truth be told, he hated this meal and would of rather faced anther 20 Moblins by himself, but it was the way things were done, so Link just put on his best fake smile, was careful to eat in a gentlemanly manner, and try not to embarrass Zelda.) Finally with the dinner over Zelda and Link retired to their bedchambers. the staff, well schooled by now in handling the soaked bedding and the like had gotten the room cleaned up and smelling better and the bed was perfectly dried (though no doubly stained under the satin sheets) "So link, We need to talk about the dodongo in the room." Zelda said, after they had changed to more comfortable clothes. "My..My bed wetting?" Link asked, looking at the floor, cheeks starting to turn red. "No, your habit of dancing in your sleep. of course your bed wetting." Zelda joked, thought chided herself for it.  "look, The way I see it, we have one of two choices here. One, is that you and I sleep in separate beds so that when you wet yourself, at least I'm not getting a golden shower." "I..That makes sense, Though I'll miss falling asleep in your arms." Link said with a miserable tone to his voice and his face showed his dislike of that option as well. "what was the other choice?" "Well, The other choice lets us share a bed, though requires you to wear protection." She said, blushing a little herself now. Link blinked, and tilted his head. "I don't think the Zora or Goron tunic would help with this Zelda." he said, rubbing the back of his head. Zelda blinked, then facepalmed. 'how can he be so brilliant at solving puzzles and yet so DUMB?!' she thought. "Not..not quite what I was talking about." She said. As link went to open his mouth she cut him off, trying to save him from making a fool of himself. "I'm talking about diapers link." she said flatly. "...Diapers? as In.. the things babies wear?" Link asked, his face turning crimson now. "well not just babies, some older children wear them till they stop bed wetting and well.." Zelda trailed off. "Oh, so I'm not a baby..just a big child." Link huffed. "Well when you pout like that." Zelda said. "be reasonable Link, it's sleep in anther bedroom without me, and hope this problem clears up before our wedding.. or wear the diapers. would being diapered, just in front of myself, and maybe Impa be THAT much worse then being seen in your pissy clothes?" "well..I mean..I guess not.." Link mumbled. "Good. then strip and go lay on the bed while i go get Impa." "C-Can't we just keep t-this to ourselfs?" Link asked, his voice hitting a high note as he poked his fingers together. "I would if I could but er, I've never actually diapered someone before, while Impa used to change mine..soooo I kinda figure she'd be the perfect choice to show me the ropes you know?" Link gave a tiny nod and started to strip as Zelda went into the hallway, spotting Impa who was waiting nearby with a bag over one shoulder and nodded to her and gave her a thumbs up. Links blush had moved down his neck and to his shoulders as he laid back on the bed, his hands covering his manhood as he looked up at Impa who gave him a warm smile, then set the bag down on the bed. "I'm seen your privates before while attending to your baths. and you'll look funny if I diaper you with your hands down there." She said with a wink, making link blush more and move his hands. Truthfully he was fighting the urge to suck his thumb right now, but figured with what was about to happen it wouldn't look good. Impa was babbling away to Zelda about how to fold the diaper and link just shut his eyes and tried to block the whole thing out. to pretend he was somewhere else. with his eyes closed, he pictured a nice flat farmland and riding on epona and smiled, cooing gently. Zelda bite down on her touage to prevent herself from laughing as link went totally baby zone as Impa lifted up his legs and set the bulky cloth under the boys buns, then powdered him. raising a eye as link's hand moved for his mouth again Impa locked eyes with Zelda, then nodded at the bag as she finished getting Link coated and started to use the heavy set and durable pins to fasten the bulky diaper around the hips of the hero. Link's relaxing ride came to a sudden stop as suddenly his mouth was invaded by a large rubber nipple and link opened his eyes to see Zelda bending down, and smiling and giggling softly. instinctively Link sucked on whatever it was in his mouth, but a downward glance confirmed it, he was nursing on a pacifier! A muffled cry of protest went to come out and link moved to spit the pacifier out but zelda placed two fingers on the mouth guard and tsked softly. "Come now link, we both know you wanna suck your thumb, and this is just cleaner..and besides." She paused, but then grinned and bend down lower and kissed his forehead. "You look VERY adorable." Link suckled on the paci after that, red faced and squirming as he stepped into the tight rubbed pants impa held out for him, the faded purple clung to his hips and Link felt like a over sized big baby. "We'll have to look into getting some in other colors. I want my little prince to be a little rainbow butt." Zelda said, patting link's puffy behind. Link had been about to say something, but as Zelda patted his butt, he barely heard her talking about just how cute his butt was, and just ended up turning himself more into the pats, and getting on his knees and hands on the bed, wiggling his butt. Zelda had just been patting the butt and teasing Link a little to have fun, but when the padded hero of cuteness positioned himself to get more out of his butt pats she found herself grinning ear to ear. This, this had all sorts of potential and for the first time she was VERY glad that her hero, her baby husband to be, had started wetting the bed. The end

Volume 7 Chapter 3 Review

My first time with this, it’s probably gonna be longwinded and awkward...

Starting off with 3 scenes basically happening at once is interesting. The airship flying them in to start the mission, Ruby and Jaune getting briefed on it, and the whole crew getting their gear upgrades. The briefing conversation plays over shots of them all getting their personal briefcases of stuff, and of some normal soldiers fighting smaller Grimm in the tundra. The new clothes scene is most important though. We see: Their happy faces, Blake and Jaune both pondering haircuts while Jaune runs his hands over the sash he kept from Pyrrha (ow my heart), Yang attaching her arm upgrade, and Ruby getting at a new cape before Oscar approaches her. Oh, and on the briefing screens RWBY and JNR are registered as civilian Huntsmen. They have their licenses!!!!

Let’s talk about the cape for a sec. Her red cloak has been an heirloom she’s kept for 6 volumes now and about 17 years. The last vestige of her mother. So is it really such a good idea for her to get a new one and just go with it? Is that abandoning the sentimental value and very essence of the original cape? It’s been worn and weathered since Volume 4, so an replacement or a stitch job would be good, but the latter would be ideal. I don’t really mind the new one so much because she asked for it and clearly she had a reason for that. It’s the exact same in every visual way as far as I could see, and she’s keeping the old one. The message is still alive in her wearing it, and times must change. It’s better to get a new one than risk damaging the original any more.

Anyway, after we see the few shots of them prepping for this mission, a very old Geist possessing a bunch of ice and hiding in a Dust mine, the airship doors open and we see the team in all their new glory. They jump out accompanied by the Ace Ops, and all make stylish landings. Ruby only uses her pogo gunshots to slow her descent, and Blake swings her weld fixed Gambol Shroud to Spider-Man swing around the buildings to land. But Weiss and Yang use their semblances to do it, and the aura percentages on Blake’s scroll later represent that accordingly. Good attention to detail. And we hear from Weiss that using your Aura can keep you from freezing, a good reason why they can all wear such stylish clothes and not die of frostbite.

After Clover checks in with all the groups about keeping in contact and keeping an eye on Aura levels, Blake catches Yang staring and they have an adorably awkward exchange about Blake’s haircut and how Yang likes it but doesn’t know how to express that. Marrow seems annoyed he has to watch a high school love story unfolding in front of him, but Harriet teases him about being childish and that shuts him up. They head toward the mine entrance, but Team RWBY hangs back to discuss how uncomfortable they all are with having lied to Ironwood last episode about Salem and the lamp. But Ruby reasons that they don’t know if Ironwood is in the right mindset for that bombshell right now and they WILL tell him soon. Fair enough. A flashback to Oscar’s interruption earlier reveals he’s pretty torn about it too since it’s exactly what they hated Ozpin for doing to them. Either way, they enter the mine and a comment about the path being blocked leads to a chilling realization. This is the mine that caved in and killed Ilia’s parents. This is why her life went so terribly, and it’s a major reminder of the awful relationship between humans and Faunus and how bad things can get. That prompts Weiss to try and apologize for her own bad attitude about it all in Volume 1, and some harsh truths from Marrow about complacency with injustice for the sake of living free of making those hard moral choices. Wise words, a lot to think about with this world and even our own.

But there’s no time for thinking about changing the world’s prejudices, they need to send Blake through a dark opening in the rubble to see if it’s safe for them to blast a hole big enough for everyone or if there’s any nearby Dust they might agitate. I get the whole faunus seeing better in the darker area of the cave thing but... couldn’t Marrow have done it too? Or was he too big and thicc and they had to send the lithe teenager? I tease, I tease. Height and muscle mass may be the legit reasons, plus her weapon is also less bulky. Before she goes in, both Blake and Yang see the SDC logo printed on some discarded boxes, likely a reminded of the last place they saw it: branded on Adam’s face. Not a good memory to recall in a tight situation, but it shows they’re still dealing with that. Good news is, when Blake goes through there’s no Dust on the other side. Bad news, the Geist gives a legitimate jumpscare that literally makes Blake jump back in surprise and pull her weapon to shoot at it. That of course clues the others in that she found something, and we see Harriet’s weapon as she deploys mechanized armor to go over her arms and boost her punching strength. Reminds me of the controls for a mech, fake arms you wear and move in the cockpit to move the real giant ones. But these have plenty of power all on their own and bust open the wall of debris. Makes sense to boost her upper body strength to counterbalance the power in her legs.

They chase the Geist into the mine until they encounter the new Centinel Grimm burrowing up from the ground. Team RWBY gets to show off their weapon upgrades/new moves as they dispose of them: Blake does a lot of slashing and stabbing as usual and Weiss does mostly the same plus shooting ice at the bugs and using glyphs to stop them from lunging. But the real stars seem to be Yang and Ruby. Yang added sticky bombs to her gauntlets’ arsenal, and Ruby can now spin Crescent Rose’s blade 180 degrees to slice a severed centinel half on her backswing. Cool. But Marrow shows off his own party tricks with his rifle that becomes a large blade edged boomerang and the ability to stop two Grimm still with nothing but a snap and the word “stay”. Clearly a reference to dog obedience training and possibly showing the power words can have, a reference to The Boy Who Cried Wolf, which I still believe he’s based on. All that kid had to do was say the word and the entire town came running to face a supposed threat. However, I’ve also heard that his inspiration is actually “A Dog and it’d Shadow”, which might suggest he’s going to go down a bad path for the sake of his own benefit... Regardless, Harriet zooms up and tosses the centinel against a wall, which seems to stop it. They report sighting the target and engaging with further hostiles to the others, who take that as a cue to speed things up. When next we see them, Harriet runs past Weiss and Ruby to take down the last Centinel with a single punch before Ruby had time to even take a shot at it. Instead of being petty about a kill steal, our little rose goes gaga over Harriet having a speed semblance like her, while the Hare of course boasts she seems to be faster based on Ruby’s reaction time. They suddenly hear Clover announce he’s fighting the Geist with Qrow, and when it eludes them too everyone converges in a central cavern.

Now let’s talk about JNR’s section of the mission until they meet up with the others. They make their jump too, Jaune having added Hard Light Dust to his shield and using it like Link’s paraglider in Breath of the Wild to float down gently, and then gravity Dust from the central crest to negate the final impact and bounce into a flip landing. Stylish~ We don’t see how, but Ren and Nora landed fine too. And their accompanying Ace Operatives Vine and Elm give rather indirect compliments, much to Jaune and Nora’s annoyance. As they walk through an ice tunnel and Vine reports its stability and their approximate time of convergence, Nora gushes about how exciting it all is before turning her enthusiasm on Ren. He handles a direct compliment about his new outfit about as well as Ren handles any show of emotion... he does not. He just tries to redirect the topic to the mission. Annoying to all the Renora shippers, absolutely, but also kinda his MO. His semblance, his very nature since the tragedy of Kuroyuri is to not get emotional because that can get them in trouble if it’s at the wrong time. He still needs to learn there are plenty of right times to have emotions, LIKE WHEN YOUR UNOFFICIAL GIRLFRIEND WANTS YOU TO RETURN THE COMPLIMENT!!! He better learn from that mistake... But at least there’s dense as a rock Jaune to compliment Nora instead and miss the point of what she was doing. The good boy is trying his best to be nice.

When they hear RWBY’s squad announce the fighting has started they start booking it and slide down an icy slope that’s revealed to have Centinels emerging at the bottom. Vine uses his semblance to stretch out and grab hold of the walls and Elm uses her’s to root her feet in the ground, both so they can stop moving toward the enemy. But that’s not JNR’s style, so they charge right into the Grimm and take them out quickly. A gravity burst shield bash from Jaune, new grappling hook mode for the blades on Ren’s guns, and Nora just bashes some skulls. This approaches earns another indirect compliment before they took finish the journey to the main mine cavern.

Meanwhile Qrow is with Clover and looking very cool in his new digs. They head in and discuss Qrow’s history of teamwork and how he doesn’t really do that anymore... cue sad STRQ vibes. Also he almost trips and Clover catches him, a perk of having someone at your side. After he gets the rundown from Elm, we don’t hear from thes two until they’re chasing down the Geist. It reaches its icy armored body, and gathers extra pieces from the walls around them. Qrow notices one bit it’s trying to get will pull down a support beam and warns Clover to stay back... just in time. The Geist gets away, but in its wake the two men share a conversation about Semblances. Qrow reveals his misfortune and how it burdens him to solitude or else situations like that one could go way worse. But Clover surprises him with the fact that his own Semblance is, of course... generating good luck.

The look Qrow gives him... a lot of people say it’s gay panic as he falls head over heels for this charming military man who can balance him out. I’ve come to see it a bit differently thanks to another post I saw. It’s regular panic. Panic and self-loathing, because he sees his perfect mirror image. Clover is sober, charismatic, a good leader, doesn’t ruin things with his very presence, and has skill and wisdom beyond anything Qrow has been able to demonstrate. This is everything he wishes he could have been for the kids from Volumes 4-6, the kind of huntsman he wants to have been at Beacon... a version of him who might have been able to keep Team STRQ together. But it might also be him getting a crush on a charming guy who balances him out. Regardless, they call everyone to meet up in the middle.

And meet up they do, the various types of Dust in the large central chamber having such effects as floating the dirt their boots kick up and evaporating a drop of Jaune’s sweat when it hits the ground. Cool set piece, though they need to be careful with how they fight otherwise they could set off the Dust and ruin the Amity Satellite launch site... and kill them. The Geist is hanging from a giant piece of ice jutting from the ceiling, and when the teams spot it the big boy dramatically drops down to fight them. Ruby panics upon seeing it added Dust to it’s body so they’ll have a harder time fighting it safely, but the Ace-Ops kick into action almost immediately. Elm and Vine use their Semblances to keep it in place and expose the Grimm joints between its ice limbs, which Marrow throws his weapon to sever. But that leaves some Dust crystals falling through the air, so the Flash gets the lightning in his eyes and speeds in to catch them before they hit the ground... Oops! I mean Quicksilver does his Days of Future Past thing to move around the falling debris at superspeed and grab the Dust... DAMMIT! I mean Harriet gets the lightning in her eyes and pulls a Days of Future Past to move around the falling debris at superspeed and grab the Dust. But the boomerang cuts another part of the arm and knocks more Dust off out of her reach. Lucky for them, Clover is there to catch it just in time. He passes the crystal to Qrow and jumps into the action.

The Ace-Ops continue to run around the Geist and to distract and disorient it, and they get the other arm off. With a flick of his lucky charm, Clover jumps up and loops his fishing line around the Geist’s mask face, and it actually hooks. What comes next brings a look of astonishment to Team RWBY’s faces. He pulls the Geist out of the ice by its face, and Harriet runs up its torso to give a jumping Shoryuken with her mech fists to kill the Grimm. But that leaves a lot of Dust crystals falling through the air, and the Ace Ops scramble to grab all of them. One remains and Harriet runs to get it... it’s a close call... and Ruby beats her to it. Who’s faster now?~ But much to Ruby’s surprise, upon seeing her in action Harriet claims Ruby’s Semblance is unlike any speed Semblance she’s ever seen, that there’s probably more to it than she realizes... or we do for that matter~ I can’t wait to see what they do with that. Yang points out that Ruby has an awful lot more going on in terms of power than Harriet realizes, earning a grin from Weiss and a very cute giggle from Blake. Regardless, mission accomplished and Qrow and Clover have a little banter over if Ruby’s catch was luck or talent. Glad to see the Atlas MVP’s acknowledge our Team has some skill of their own. Even happier to see Elm effortlessly put Ruby on her shoulder and carry her around to celebrate while Yang and Nora start dancing.

Next thing we know we’re back in Mantle as the police ship drops Forest off. He goes into an alley, where Tyrian suddenly appears under a flickering light to creep us all out and kill a short lived fan favorite character. RIP, good good protest boy. 

And that’s pretty much it. Sorry it took a while.

Should Have Brought the Cat Ears

Wanted to do a quick fankid Special for Halloween in the spirit of the season. Jaime wasn’t in last year’s special, so he gets a spotlight this year!!!

---

“You don’t like it?” McCree tilted his head as they both stood over the plastic armor and replica blaster laid out on Jaime’s bed.

“It’s not that I don’t like it---” Jaime started.

“If you don’t like it, it’s fine, I’m really not trying to guilt you---”

“Just--don’t you think I’m a little... old for this sort of thing?” said Jaime. He caught himself and looked between his adoptive fathers, McCree donning ripped flannel, yellow contacts, and wolf ears and Hanzo in a more clean-cut Vampire costume. Jaime tried to recover. “I just--I was never really big on Halloween. Not really a dress-up guy.”

“It’s not that costume-y--It’s cool--” McCree gave a glance to Hanzo, “I mean--it’s cool, right?” McCree pressed his fingertips to his forehead, “Oh god I’m old.”

‘You’re not old,” Hanzo said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s Dranek Fang from They Came Beyond The Moon 5: Moonpunchers! I mean what’s not cool about a space bounty hunter?” said McCree, gesturing back at the costume. His face dropped. “It’s weird because I bought it, isn’t it?”

“Little bit,” said Jaime.

“Well you weren’t buying a costume, and if you’re going to the party---”

“Come on, everyone there’s like...practically 20 or whatever. I’m pretty sure it’s not going to be all cutesy bobbing for apples and stuff.”

“If you’re not going to wear the costume can you at least wear the safety cat ears?” said McCree.

“The safety what?” said Jaime.

Hanzo held up a pair of cat ears, “These cat ears were first gifted to me by your Uncle Genji during my first Halloween on the watchpoint--”

“Why do the cat ears have lore--” Jaime started.

“For the express purpose of, quote, ‘Not looking like a standoffish stick-in-the-mud at a costume party,’” Hanzo finished.

“I don’t need the cat ears,” Jaime said flatly.

“You’re gonna want the cat ears,” said McCree.

“I don’t want the cat ears,” said Jaime.

“He doesn’t want the cat ears,” said Hanzo.

McCree inhaled and exhaled, clearly trying hard not to take the rejection of the costume personally, and also possibly at war with himself with regards to whether or not he had any concept of what ‘cool’ was anymore. “All right. It’s cool. It’s cool. You don’t have to wear a costume. You don’t have to bring the cat ears.”

“Thank you,” said Jaime. 

---

“I should have brought the cat ears,” Jaime muttered to himself.

“What was that?” Rei was standing in the doorway to the watchpoint hangar, dressed in a purple grecian gown with runny black mascara and a flower crown of wine-colored peonies. The costume actually went very well with her dark hair and the gray-white streak at her temple.

“Nothing,” muttered Jaime, moving past Rei, “What are you supposed to be?”

“Persephone!” said Rei with a dramatic flourish, “Goddess of Spring and Queen of the Underworld!”

“That’s... specific...” said Jaime, walking into the hangar. It was fully decorated for halloween, with Hard-light ghosts swaying from the ceiling and orange fairy lights strung up everywhere. Dry ice fog seeped out from over the two punch bowls. It was a bigger party than expected. Those in attendance aside from the Watchpoint kids were a couple of younger Shambali acolytes--both human and omnic, a veritable swarm of Lindholm grandkids, Mei’s intern Harper Khiang (Who, surprisingly was in some sort of form-fitting anime costume rather than a bee costume) and a few of her friends from Lijiang, and the Oxton triplets had flown in from London only to be off in their triplet clique as usual. There was music playing and a handful were noncommittally dancing, and everyone, everyone, everyone was in costumes. 

“You’re gonna want the cat ears,” Jaime remembered McCree’s voice and felt an extra sting of regret.

“You made it!” Aedan sidled up alongside the two of them as they entered, carrying two cups of bright red punch and handing one of the cups off to Rei, “We were scared you weren’t going to come.”

Jaime’s eyes flicked up and down Aedan’s costume: The black toga, the dark circles under his eyes, the laurel-like headdress that looked like thorny withered twigs painted gold. “Seriously?” said Jaime.

“Hades,” Rei said in an even deeper, more dramatic voice, “King of the--”

“Yeah. I put it together,” said Jaime, looking between them, “Really? A couple’s costume? You don’t think that’s corny?”

“I kind of like it,” said Aedan, glancing down at himself, “I feel... powerful.”

Jaime snorted. “She should be Hades, and you should be Persephone.”

“I think I make a good Hades,” muttered Aedan.

“Which one of you has the completely unhinged mother?” said Jaime.

Aedan glanced off and sipped his punch.

“No no, it fits, because Persephone definitely kicks more butt than Hades,” said Rei, “She’s more vengeful and stuff.”

“This conversation is doing wonders for my self-esteem,” said Aedan flatly.

“Could be worse,” said Rei, pushing into him with her shoulder, affectionately, “We could be furries.”

“For the last time, I’m a sexy leopard! Not a furry!” Marti called from the punch table.

“The fact that you say a leopard can be sexy lends credence to the furry theory,” said Aedan. 

“Call me a furry again and I’m putting my drag queen acrylics to good use,” said Marti, making a clawing motion with her long sparkly black and gold nails.

“Come on, Lord of the Underworld,” said Rei, hooking her arm in Aedan’s and dragging him off, “Let’s go dance.”

“Try the punch!” Aedan called to Jaime as Rei pulled him over to the dance floor.

Jaime huffed and walked over to the punch bowl, where Marti was poking at a small hard-light goblin that loomed over a bowl of snack mix and was programmed to harmlessly swipe at whoever was grabbing the mix.

“Would have thought you would be at a cool party,” said Jaime, filling up his own cup with punch. There were two punch bowls--alcoholic and non-alcoholic. Jaime opted for the former.

“This is the cool party,” said Marti, wrinkling her nose at him. Despite picking a fairly generic costume, even she had gone all out with a pretty high quality bodysuit, perming her hair into a curly mane with two small buns wrapped in gold ribbon at the front serving as her ‘ears,’ thick winged eyeliner, and, as she had clawed with earlier, impeccable acrylic nails, “So I’m guessing your costume is... very fresh zombie?”

“Har-har,” said Jaime, sipping his punch. It tasted like a complicated combination of apple, pomegranate, cranberry and ginger ale, with a light caramel undertone of whiskey, so he assumed Aedan made it. It was enough to loosen him up a little bit, but not enough to stop his hyperawareness of being the only one without a costume, “I don’t see why costumes are such a big deal.”

“Well they don’t have to be,” said Marti.

“Exactly!” said Jaime.

“But it’s nice to see what everyone picks. Kind of reflects what they’re interested in, where their minds are at.”

“Your mind is at ‘Sexy cat?’” said Jaime.

“My mind is at, ‘I’m always bogged down in black-ops gear, so it’s nice to be a little flashy, but I don’t like being the center of attention, but I might as well look good for anyone who’s looking at me,’” said Marti.

Jaime glanced at Aedan and Rei out on the dancefloor. “...fuck, they picked the death gods because they nearly died, didn’t they?”

“They basically did die. Can’t say they don’t have a sense of humor,” said Marti, sipping her own punch.

Jaime leaned against the snack table folding his arms. “Where are the twins?” he asked, looking around.

“You mean where’s Samir?” said Marti, smiling a little. Jaime scoffed and glanced off.

“I feel like I would have seen them already. They always put glowy doodads on their costumes,” said Jaime.

“See? You want to see what their costumes are!” said Marti, “Why are you down on dressing up yourself?”

Jaime shrugged. “Just... either never really had the chance to, or when I did have the chance I couldn’t decide, and then when the day finally came I’d always feel stupid if I was dressed up.”

Marti gave his arm a sympathetic pat.

The music stopped and the lights suddenly dimmed and Jaime looked over to Marti to make sure this was planned, or to ask if they should check in with Orisa or Satya for a potential breach, but Marti just calmly sipped her punch as a bright blue teleporter opened in the middle of the dance floor. A brief hush fell over the crowd on the dance floor, looking at the teleporter, when suddenly a bulky, heroic-looking gleaming white and blue mech suit (a normal, human-sized mech suit, but still a mech suit) stepped through. The mech suit struck a pose as the music suddenly kicked back on again. Jaime glanced over to see that Harper had hurried over to the DJ table to turn the music back on. The mech suit danced and Rei and the others laughed and clapped and cheered as the mech suit shimmied and bounced. Then another (also normal, human-sized) mech suit stepped out of the teleporter. This one was clearly meant to be the villain, with sharp acute angles all over its frame, broad sharp shoulders and a cinched waist, long claws on its gauntlets, a dark iridescent color scheme, and glowing red eyes. The teleporter closed behind him.

“Oh no! Look out behind you!” Harper called out theatrically from the DJ’s table.

The bulkier mech suit had barely turned around when it got blasted by what looked like a laser beam from the ‘evil’ mech, but turned out to be completely fine. The mechs mock-battled with blunted, hard-light swords for a few seconds before, with one spectacular simultaneous upward slash, both dematerialized the other’s helmet, revealing the Amari twins--Rajeev the hero mech, and Samir the villain mech. The dance floor clapped, Marti snickered and did her best to clap with a punch cup in one hand.

“...they don’t usually go all out like that,” said Jaime, “Do they?”

“This is the most people we’ve had in our generation on the watchpoint in years,” said Marti, “They wanted to do something special.”

“Oh... I see,” said Jaime, watching as Samir conversed with Rei and Aedan as Rajeev pretty much tackled Harper and swung her around, “This night is just engineered to make me feel like more and more of an asshole for not wearing a costume, huh?” said Jaime sipping his punch.

“We aren’t doing this to you,” said Marti, “I mean we’re still on the watchpoint. Maybe you can run back to your place and---”

“Hey,” said Samir, walking over and Jaime choked on his punch.

“Hey!” said Jaime, attempting to nonchalantly lean back against the table and awkwardly scooting it back as he did so.

“Fearless leader,” Samir gave a nod to Marti.

“Nope,” said Marti, “No fearless leader tonight. Tonight, there is only sexy leopard getting increasingly wasted on Halloween punch.”

“It’s good to see sexy leopard,” said Samir.

“It’s good to be sexy leopard,” said Marti, tossing her empty cup away, “Anyway, I’m going to go try and burn some of Aedan’s banshee booze off. Don’t get into trouble.”

“Yeah sure--” Jaime started before it hit him that Marti was leaving them to hit the dance floor. 

“I uh--I like the whole...” Jaime gestured up and down at Samir’s costume.

“It was Rajeev’s idea,” said Samir with a grin, “Can you tell?”

“Yeah. Definitely,” said Jaime, “You pull it off though.”

“It’s all hard-light,” said Samir, looking down at himself as he filled his own cup with the non-alcoholic punch, “Like, honestly I’m just in a unitard under this.”

“Well yeah, but it’s like... good,” said Jaime.

“Thank you,” said Samir, “I actually..” he chuckled, “I spent like, a stupid amount of time on this.” 

“Why?” the question fell out of Jaime.

“It was nice to make something out of Hard-light that didn’t have anything to do with a mission. I got into it,” said Samir.

“You also gave yourself heels,” said Jaime, looking down.

Samir motioned with his hand and the soles of his boots dematerialized down to his regular height. He still stood a solid four inches over Jaime.

“...Ass,” said Jaime as Samir re-materialized the soles of his boots.

“Happy Halloween to you too,” said Samir as they both sipped their drinks and looked out at the dance floor. They watched as Rajeev hoisted up a laughing Harper amid the din of the music. Harper’s form-fitting costume suddenly made a lot more sense with Rajeev right next to her.

“Oh I get it--she’s a mech pilot and he’s---” Jaime huffed, “Fucking couple’s costumes.”

“Hey, Rajeev and I are still doing twin costumes--what does that tell you about us?” said Samir.

“That like... you can actually make the twin costume thing really cool if you put some thought into it?” said Jaime.

“No--Well, I mean, yes,” said Samir, “But my point is the whole night is about not taking yourself too seriously.”

“Mm,” said Jaime.

They watched the dance floor for a little bit. Samir grabbed a handful of snacks from the snackbowl and gave a small jump as the hard-light goblin suddenly swiped at him as he did so.

“You’re not going to bring up the whole ‘Where’s your costume’ thing?” said Jaime after a while.

“Some people don’t have time for it, some people aren’t comfortable with it, it’s not a big deal,” said Samir, shrugging.

“...Thanks,” said Jaime. He looked out at the dance floor. “Though...honestly, at this point I kind of wish I did dress up.”

“Oh--psh. I can fix that. Here--” Samir stepped in front of him and pressed something at his wrist, activating the hard-light projector before putting his hands above Jaime’s head. Jaime reddened and sipped his drink and attempted to be as nonchalant as possible about feeling Samir’s fingers against his hair. There was a soft ‘vworp’ sound and Jaime felt a soft pressure on two points on his head and Samir drew his hands back.  “There we go,” said Samir.

Jaime reached up and felt at his head, feeling two pointed shapes.

“...Cat ears?” said Jaime.

“I like cats. They’re the simplest ones I can make. If you don’t like them I could make like... horns--I could probably make antlers if I had a couple minutes--”

“No. I like them,” said Jaime instantly, “They’re perfect. I’m a cat.”

“A sexy cat,” said Samir with a finger gun. As coolheaded as Samir could be, there were definitely moments where you could tell, well beyond looks, that he was Rajeev’s identical twin.

Jaime snorted and looked down at his clothes, “What about this says ‘sexy cat?’”

“The fact that it’s you in cat ears?” said Samir.

Jaime scoffed and snickered. “That’s bad,” he said.

“Yeah I know,” said Samir, hooking Jaime’s arm in his and pulling him away from the punch table, “Come on, let’s dance.”