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#which would require a PRETTY GOOD knowledge of what the other person looks like
thatoneweirdo14 · 5 months
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this isn't a revelation or anything but i just wanna say as a person with extremely shit vision, meaning that objects too far away are literally just blobs without my glasses, people with terrible eyesight can still recognise people/objects from far away as long as they are familiar enough. The same way you can recognise a close friend or smth from the back of their head. Like if my sister was standing halfway across the street she'd look like a brown blob but id still be able to tell it was her even if she was surrounded by a dozen other brown blobs of people.
I like to think that in the same way, at the end of his performance when he's looking directly at Victor, even though Yuuri can't see shit without his glasses and Victor is surrounded by a million other people, he can still pinpoint exactly where Victor is because he's such a familiar person, the only blob Yuuri can fully tell apart. He is Yuuri's blob.
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drvscarlett · 1 month
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Sweet Nothings (4)
Carlos Sainz x Pageant Queen!Reader
Summary: All that they ever wanted was sweet nothings but everything changed like midnight rain.
Sweet Nothings 1 2 3 4
A/N: the final installment for sweet nothings. thank you for your support for this one!! let me know your thoughts or send me an ask for blurbs!!!
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2020
It was quite rare for the couple to stay at home. It was weird that they weren't out and about or even racing. Somehow they knew that this lockdown is taking a lot out of life out of them but they were still grateful to be spending it with each other.
Its also that period of time that Y/N has been asked a question.
"What do you want to do?"
A harmless question by Carlos. It was supposed to be something that asks her what does she want to do for the day but she ended up thinking about what does she want to do with her life.
She is 23, lots of people would say that she is still young and there's a lot of things to look forward to. But she can't help about what should she do as she grow older. There is this unspoken pressure that she has to do well before reaching a certain age.
"Carlos, mi amor, do you have plans?" Y/N asked
The man in question met her eyes, he was visibly confused by the question.
"What plans mi amor? Do you mean to ask if I have zoom meetings?"
"No, I mean what's your plan in the future?"
"Well, I'm planning to win a championship, then I'm going to marry you, we will build our family, continue winning, retire, travel the world with you again" Carlos enumerates.
She smiles at her inclusion in Carlos' plans for the future. It was not new knowledge for the both of them that they plan to marry each other and build a family someday. They have already reached a point in their relationship where it feels right to discuss such plans.
"Why did you ask?" Carlos wondered "any change of plans?"
"Not at all, just curious"
2021
Sebastian Vettel is a force to be reckon with. He speaks up to different issues and he won't allow anyone to hinder him. It was a stark contrast from the Sebastian Vettel from Red Bull which is why Y/N always call him the wise sage.
Carlos and Y/N have been invited by Sebastian for an outreach program. Y/N insisted on going and Carlos went along because there was nothing on his schedule for that day. It was that time that Y/N managed to speak to the children about their living situations and how Sebastian gave her an advice.
"You seem to be enjoying yourself" Sebastian noticed "First time doing programs like this?"
"I haven't done these in a while" Y/N admits.
Her very first experience with outreaches like this would have been in high school. It started out as a requirement for school where they have to do community services before they could finish the academic year. There were plenty of slum areas in her home country so she would always be participating in outreach programs or medical missions to help them. It was quite taxing but it was something that she enjoyed doing. She remembered how it was no longer a requirement but she still finds herself volunteering.
Y/N doesn't know how long she has been rambling,Sebastian was a really good listener.
"I didn't see you as that type of person you know"Sebastian said "It's a different side of you"
"What kind of person do you think I am?"
"For starters, I know you do modelling so you are a pretty face. It is a perfect match for Carlos, he is a pretty boy you know" Sebastian discussed.
Y/N has to hold a little laugh because she knows the topic is serious. She just know that Carlos will be elated to be called pretty boy by the sebastian vettel.
"You are always very supportive of Carlos and you cannot be associated without Carlos so I feel like its a good thing that you have a side of you that makes you seperate from Carlos"
The conversation with Sebastian seems to struck a chord in her heart. Everyone thinks that Y/N is a full-time WAG and she knows that it is true. But if someone ask what does Y/N do besides being a full-time WAG the answer is modelling. It still doesn't seem right for Y/N that she's not doing enough of an impact.
"You feel it too right? You know you have to get out of the box of just being Carlos' girlfriend" Sebastian worded it out for Y/N.
"Is that a good thing that I want to be more than just Carlos' girlfriend and create an impact just like you?" she wonders.
"It's not a bad thing at all" Sebastian assured. He would be the one to know especially when he has a wife that has been extremely supportive of him being vocal about his opinions. He knows a true partner would understand.
"But this might change things" and Y/N knows that she might lose Carlos in the process.
"Sometimes we have to sacrifice some things to get better things"
Y/N looked at the children who were happily eating. She wanted to bring more of that to the world. But then she also saw the glint of her necklace, a gift from Carlos.
Can't she have both?
2022
Carlos didn't mean to snoop around her things. It just so happens that he will be using the computer to email someone when he noticed that Y/N left her email open. He was about to delete the message he just sent by going through the sent tab when he noticed an email.
Application for Miss Universe Philippines.
Surely if Y/N is joining then Carlos would have known. So he clicked the email and was surprised by the contents. He felt like there was a cold bucket of ice poured over him.
"Mahal, you wouldn't believe the price of these mangoes I got from the market" Y/N entered the shared apartment "What are you.."
Y/N stops in her tracks as he noticed that Carlos was in front of her computer.
"When will you tell me about this?"he wondered
"I didn't mean to keep it a secret Carlos"
Carlos could feel a twinge as he was called by his name. It was going to end up to be a fight between the two of them.
"Why didn't you tell me that you want to be Miss Universe?" Carlos repeated
"It's not something that I have planned honestly. I just want to try something new and you know that email is just a shot in the dark, I don't even know if I'll be qualified to compete"Y/N explained
"But still, when did you start dreaming of being Miss Universe" Carlos asked.
Y/N started pacing as she tries to find the rigt words to say. Carlos looked at her with worry and he felt left out with the plans that she is creating. They both knew that this is a turning point in their relationship.
"It just happened carlos. I just wanted to use my voice to make an impact or change. I don't want to be just a pretty face and do nothing with my life" there was the frustration and floodgates opening.
Y/N felt herself collapsing after hearing the silence. This is what she feared initially that Carlos won't get her dreams and this will be the end of their relationship. She ruined a perfectly good thing.
But as million of things and scenarios are going through her head, Carlos slowly made his way to her. He takes her hand into his and lifted her chin to meet his eyes.
"Amor, do you think I will hinder you from your dreams?" the gentleness of his voice is the calm that she needs.
"You're not mad?"
"Why would I be mad at you?" he asked "I just wanted a little heads up. I just want to know what you are up to. Im happy to support you if this is what you want"
Bursting into tears,Y/N leaned forward to hug Carlos. Weeks of tiptoeing is over and all she had to do was come clean.
2023
It was the morning after the Singapore Grand Prix when Y/N received the message. She was utterly shocked upon reading the email that she was appointed to represent one of the provinces for Miss Universe Philippines. It felt like a dream so she had to make Carlos read it to make sure she isn't dreaming.
"This is amazing news mi amor!"
Carlos was in glee. He just won a Grand Prix and now his girlfriend is going to compete for her dreams. It was like he was enveloped in a high that he failed to notice the sad eyes that Y/N has.
"Why are you not happy? Aren't you supposed to be happy?" Carlos wondered.
The reality is sinking in that if Y/N accepts this then her whole world will change. No more attending Grand Prixs. No more spending all her time with Carlos. She will be very busy and Carlos will also be very busy.
"Its going to be difficult. There are trainings, meetings,and everything" she is feeling overwhelmed.
"Okay take deep breaths amor"
The couple sits down and Carlos fetched a glass of water for Y/N to drink. He understands how Y/N often has a tendency to overthink or overcomplicate things when it is within her reach.
"I don't think I deserve this"she says
"Nonsense."Carlos disagrees "You are going to compete with that amor. You are going to compete and you are going to win"
"If I do that then I will be leaving you behind mahal. No more hotel rooms,no more grand prixs,no more spontaneous date nights"
The smile on Carlos face falters. Y/N takes a heavy breath, she knows that its for the better. She cannot ask Carlos to put his life on hold for her. She knows that next year, Carlos will want to try to win the championship. She has long accepted that she is ready to free Carlos in case she cannot support him anymore.
"I think we should break up"Y/n dropped.
"No" Carlos' reply came swiftly
"Listen mahal this is how its going to end up. Were both going to busy and then we will fall apart. Its best to end it while were on good terms"Y/N rationalizes.
"Im not listening,no no"Carlos stood up and walked away.
Y/n went to chase the Spanish driver. Tears were already spilling in her eyes because she didn't want to do this and Carlos is not making it easier for the two of them.
"Mahal please,listen to me"
"Why are you breaking up with me? This doesn't change things between us"Carlos reasoned.
"It will change a lot of things."she answered back "Its not going to be the same and its gonna be difficult"
"But no matter how difficult it is,I refuse to break up with you" Carlos states "I love you Y/N and I cannot just stop loving you or let go of you just because things are difficult."
"But what about your dreams?"
"I'll continue chasing my dreams. You chase yours. I'll support you no matter what"Carlos assures.
Yes, it has been years since they got together. Y/N still can't believe her luck with Carlos. Sometimes she feels as if he is unreal and way too good to be with her.
"Are you really willing to put up with me?" Y/N wonders
"I have never been more sure of anything in my life"
His hands intertwined with her as he places a soft kiss on her forehead.
"We'll be alright"
2024
It was a busy start of the year for Y/N. Ever since Suzuka GP ended, she flew back to her home country to train and to prepare. It was honestly very draining but she finds herself enjoying the whole process.
Y/N and Carlos decided that it will be best to keep their relationship on the down low. They are still together but they just have to keep it lowkey for the timebeing so that they can both focus on achieving their dreams. Carlos understands how Y/N didn't want to win just because she is popular as Carlos' girlfriend, she wants to win for her advocacy. Technically they are not broken up, they are on a time out. Its not an arrangement that a lot of people deal with but then again they don't share that bond that Y/N and Carlos had.
They don't usually talk a lot these days since they are both busy but upon reading that article after her evening shoot,Y/N made a call right away.
'Lewis Hamilton moving to Ferrari in 2025'
Y/N couldn't describe how pained she feels for Carlos. She remembered how Carlos mentioned it a few weeks ago that they have been arranging a contract extension. She remembered how she kept assuring him that Ferrari won't let go of him,not after he broke Red Bull's streak. There are no words to describe how much she feels terrible about the situation.
"Mi amor?" Carlos picked up "Its late there in the Philippines why did you call?"
"The article is it true mahal?"
There was a pause on the other line and Y/N felt her heartbreaking.
"I didn't know. It seems unreal but I just got off from a call with Fred and they are really dropping me"Carlos confirms.
"That's so so shitty. They are so fucking shitty. I'm gonna go and wage war with Ferrari. First they fuck up your strategies then now they drop you"she was seething.
"Amor, you can't be rash. There's nothing we could do about it"Carlos, always the voice of reason.
"Where are you?" Y/N asked "Should I book a plane ticket now? I'm gonna give you a hug"
"Amor,you have duties there as a competitor for miss universe philippines"
"I don't care. You are somewhere half across the world and you just got dropped off and I need to be with you" Y/N's desperation could be heard from the phone.
There was a heavy sigh on Carlos end.
"Amor, I'll be alright. Your mere call is more than enough to make me feel like I am not alone"Carlos assures.
"Im sorry mahal,I couldn't be there" she says sadly.
"You are always here in my heart"
Miles and miles away but the two hearts have never been far apart from each other. They spent the entire night talking about their new plans with the following changes that happened.
ChiliUpdates just posted a photo.
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ChiliUpdates CARLOS SAINZ WINS THE 2024 WDC! WHAT A SEASON CARLOS SAINZ!!!!
User3 man went from losing an appendix to winning the WDC
User4 OHMYGODDDDDD THAT IS SUCH AN ICONIC MOVE
User5 Carlos Sainz gets axed by Ferrari then wins the WDC then refuses to elaborate.
User7 EL MATADOR!!!! CARLOS SAINZ EL MATADORRRRRRRR!!!
User8 I really love this el matador nickname because he ended red bull's dominance
User9 he is so ICONIC!!!
YNjpeg just posted a photo
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liked by CarlosSainz55, LandoNorris, and 762,987 others.
YNjpeg four different colors and there is never a moment that I didn't adore. You are now a world champion and there are no words to describe how proud I am of you. To see you transform into the man that you are today is an honor and a privilege. Never ever stop being you.
Once again, congratulations world champion Carlos Sainz!
CarlosSainz55 Mi amor, thank you for always believing me
User1 OHMYGOD WHAT IS THIS????
User2 TELL ME YOU TWO ARE BACK TOGETHER
User3 Y/N isn't even in the paddock a while ago but she wrote this message???
User4 GET BACK TOGETHER MY DIVORCED PARENTS
User5 Our Miss Universe 2024 and our WDC 2024, name a more iconic duo
User6 the respect that they have for each other.
2027.
CarlosSainz55 and Y/Njpeg posted a photo
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CarlosSainz55 we survived the great war.
YNjpeg I'm always thankful for all my lucky stars that they brought you to me. I love you forever mahal.
User5 RUE WHEN WAS THIS????
User7 I DIDNT KNOW THEY WERE STILL TOGETHER??? WE HAVENT SEEN THEM TOGETHER IN TWO YEARS????
User8 is this real??? chat is this real?
LandoNorris FINALLY!
SebastianVettel what a lovely couple, you both deserve each other
Charles_Leclerc mate FINALLY!!!!
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gremoria411 · 1 month
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How to get into Gundam
Because fuck it, I was gonna do one of these sooner or later anyway.
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So you want to know what this Gundam thing’s about, maybe you like the mecha design, maybe you caught part of an episode one time and want to catch up, or maybe you saw a nice piece of Chamuro fanart and want to go to the source.
But there’s so many shows and timelines that it can be quite daunting on first look, so this guide is intended to give a rough overview.
I would however like to stress two four things beforehand however:
This guide is not intended as “The One True Way” or anything. There’s no harm it coming into it a different way, and these are only my own opinions.
There’s nothing stopping you from just watching one show and leaving it there. You don’t have to watch every single show going, even I’ve only seen most of these, not all. Gundam typically has variations on similar themes - it’s very nice watching multiple shows because they complement one another, but it’s not necessarily required.
I am very much an insider looking out here, so let me know if there’s any details I’ve missed.
I’m not gonna recommend these on a “if you like X, then watch Y basis”, mostly because I don’t personally find genre recommendations helpful, so I’d recommend picking based on promotional material (vibes, if you will).
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I’ll be using this chart, supplied by the excellent@l-crimson-l, to illustrate everything.
Gundam as a whole can principally be divided into three sections: Universal Century (or UC), the Alternate Universes (AU’s) and the Build Series.
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The AU’s are below the light blue line, near the bottom of the Chart, the Build Series is within the bright green line at the top-right corner of the chart and UC is the big line in the middle. We’ll talk about each of them individually.
The AU’s
The Alternate Universes were conceived as a way to get away from the continuity-heavy nature of Universal Century and provide an easy jumping-on point for new fans. The AU’s are standalone and require no prior knowledge, and are thus an excellent place to start. Honestly, I’d recommend quickly searching some promotional materials (like posters) and just going with the one you find most appealing based on that. They are (in production order):
Mobile Fighter G Gundam (1994)
New Mobile Report Gundam Wing (1995)
After War Gundam X (1996)
Turn A Gundam (1999)
Mobile Suit Gundam SEED (2002)
Mobile Suit Gundam 00 (2007)
Mobile Suit Gundam AGE (2011)
Gundam: Reconguista in G (2014)
Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron Blooded Orphans (2015)
Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury (2022)
There’s side series and movies and other things besides, but these are the mainline shows, if you will. I have specific notes on a few of them:
Witch From Mercury - It’s of a shorter length than is usual for mainline shows, so consequently it’s a much smaller time investment than the others.
Mobile Fighter G Gundam - While undeniably rad as hell, I would recommend watching another AU first. G Gundam differs from its stablemates in a few key areas, and I find it helps to have a contrast to fully appreciate those differences.
Gundam AGE - is probably the only one I wouldn’t recommend. I didn’t like the art style and the technical explanations just got on my nerves, so I stopped watching.
Turn A and G-Reconguista are technically part of UC as well, but it’s not really crucial information so don’t feel like you have to watch UC first (I’m only including this detail for completionism).
I’ve found all the AU’s I’ve seen to be pretty good, so I’d say that which one you start with really just comes down to personal taste.
The Build Series
Is just kind of doing its own thing. The Build series is basically Buy Our Toys: the series. It’s got a far lighter tone, and I’ve had cause to compare it to pokemon prior. It’s also chock full of references and in-jokes to the other series.
Build Fighters and Build Fighters Try are the ones I’d recommend - they’ve got actual stakes and the fight scenes are really good.
Build Divers and Build Divers Re:rise I can’t recommend - I just find Build Divers aggressively boring. Build Divers Re:Rise is just okay - neither standout good or particularly bad. Its main flaw is that it’s a sequel to Build Divers.
The OVA’s are pretty much bad across the board - I’d particularly recommend avoiding Gundam Build Metaverse.
Universal Century
Universal Century is the big main timeline of Gundam, and is the timeline the original Mobile Suit Gundam from 1979 takes place in. There’s a tendency among certain fans to place UC as the one-above-all of Gundam, but I wouldn’t really go that far. It’s all pretty good, but I wouldnt really say one timeline is better than another (save personal preference, anyway).
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Because UC is so big, it can be subdivided a couple times. The primary division is “Mainline” UC versus everything else. Basically there’s four-five shows in Universal Century from which everything else flows. As long as you know roughly what happens in these shows, then you can watch basically anything else in UC and have a good idea of what’s going on. These are (in order):
Mobile Suit Gundam (1979) - sometimes called Mobile Suit Gundam 0079.
Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam (1985)
Mobile Suit Gundam ZZ (1986)
Mobile Suit Gundam: Char’s Counterattack (1988)
With Mobile Suit Gundam Unicorn (2010) as a nominal fifth (honestly I feel like you could argue either way).
The rest of the shows are:
Mobile Suit Gundam 0080: War in the Pocket (1989 Three-Episode OVA)
Mobile Suit Gundam F91 (1991 Movie)
Mobile Suit Gundam 0083: Stardust Memory (1991 Thirteen-episode OVA)
Mobile Suit Victory Gundam (1993)
Mobile Suit Gundam: The 08th MS Team (1999 Twelve-episode OVA)
G-Saviour (2000 Live Action Movie) - nobody ever talks about or acknowledges this one, it’s just here for completionism.
Mobile Suit Gundam MS Igloo (2004-2009 Three OVA’s with three Episodes each)
Mobile Suit Gundam: The Origin (2015 Six-Episode OVA, adapted from the Manga of the same name)
Mobile Suit Gundam Thunderbolt (2015 Eight-Episode Series, adapted from the Manga of the same name)
Mobile Suit Gundam: Twilight Axis (2017 episode, adapted from a light novel of the same name. Later rereleased as Gundam Twilight Axis Red Trace, with additional footage)
Mobile Suit Gundam Narrative (2018 sequel movie to Gundam Unicorn)
Mobile Suit Gundam Hathaway (2021 ongoing movie series, very much adapted from the novel Hathaway’s Flash)
Most of the other series relate to events in the aforementioned “mainline” shows in some way, but a lot of the sidestories set during the One Year War require very little introduction (Thunderbolt, 0080 and 08th MS Team). Similarly, works set in “Late UC” (F91 and Victory Gundam) carry on from the other series thematically but don’t have any plot connections, so they can all be watched without any background knowledge of the rest of the Universal Century.
Compilation Movies
Just a quick note here - many of the Gundam series have compilation movies, where either a whole series or part of one are compressed down into a movie. While each movie compares differently, they usually boil down to this: Compilation Movies usually have worse pacing, but really nice animation.
One of the great things about Gundam is that different shows offer variations on themes, so seeing how different characters react to similar situations, or how different settings change their approaches can make it incredibly rewarding.
I haven’t seen enough of SD Gundam to make any sort of recommendations there, and Manga is something I might touch on another day.
EDIT: Oh hey also: You can watch a good chunk of these on YouTube, for free, officially. The Official Gundam.Info YouTube channel rotates the series shown on its channel periodically. I think it’s got F91 and SEED on there currently? But it’s had Wing, 00 and Witch From Mercury before. Also all of the Build Fighters series are there.
So yeah, that’s a thing.
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mattodore · 10 months
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100 questions with Theo | playlist, pinterest | ←
1. What common traits do you share with your oc? What about them is the least like you?
Well… we both have a hard time connecting with people, are easily jealous, and are hungry for understanding. Theo is very different from me in that he’s reckless, judgmental, dismissive, and is more willing to work for approval than I am.
2. Do you think you would get along with your oc if you could meet them? What things would you talk about?
To be honest… no. Theo isn’t exactly easy to get along with (which is by design) and neither one of us would make the first move to talk to the other.
3. How competent would your oc be in a survival situation? Would they be better off on their own or in a group?
He’d be very competent. Theo is a survivor. He’ll claw his way to the finish line even while covered in gore and viscera. Most of his knowledge comes from what he’s read with little hands-on experience, but I believe he’d still be able to apply that knowledge well. He’s not very strong as he doesn’t exercise and is fairly slim… so I think he might struggle with things that would require a lot of muscle. But, then again, Theo has a sharp mind… I think he could find a workaround for most things that would’ve required physical strength anyway. Theo’s fast on his feet and is also good at hiding… he’s pretty stealthy and quiet when he needs to be. Plus, with Theo’s perceptiveness and natural aptitude for reading people, I think he’d be quick to suss out who’s trustworthy or not and would know not to approach a bad situation. 
Theo is a loner and is generally distrustful of people, so he’d be better off on his own. Maybe one other person beside him would be okay for a short while just to have an ally, but… I don’t know. I think he’d let someone tag along with him for a few days and then he’d just vanish in the middle of the night to be all on his own again.
4. Is your oc a daredevil, or more of a scaredy cat? What is the most daring thing they’ve done in their life?
He’s self-destructive, so… daredevil. At the same time, though, I think a lot of the situations Theo puts himself in do in fact scare him… you’d hardly be able to tell, though. The most daring thing he’s done… hm… Theo has walked into the den of a drug lord and behaved disrespectfully.
5. What is your oc’s patience like? When waiting for something, are they able to sit still or do they fidget? How do they fidget?
I think Theo is exceptionally patient and doesn’t fidget at all. He was trained out of unattractive behaviors very young in his life, so he doesn’t fuss or even so much as shift from foot to foot—not even while under duress. He’s very still. As for his patience… Theo is well acquainted with never getting what he wants no matter how long he waits, so he has the patience of a saint.
6. How much thought does your oc put into what they wear/look like? Any reason why?
Theo has to think about what he’s wearing very carefully. He’s essentially living three separate lives and has different attire for each of them. He has the typical refined masculine fashion he has to wear whenever he’s around his family, the casual fashion he dresses in for his college life, and then the more fun, colorful, androgynous fashion that he wears for his nightlife activities. He’s separated his life into three neat little boxes while he himself stands at a distance from them, wiping his hands on his legs nervously.
With regards to skin and hair care, he doesn’t do much. Theo has naturally good skin (even when he was a teenager) and only uses facial cleanser and lotions on it. His hair is the same and all he does to it, aside from washing it, is use different oils to keep it soft. He doesn’t allot much time to these things as he has other things he believes he needs to focus on (academics, for one). 
7. Does your oc collect anything? What about knowledge or facts? How big is their collection?
Theo collects these small, intricately crafted decorative bells! He loves the sounds they make and how pretty they are. He has an entire curio cabinet full of them and is methodical in dusting them off and wiping them down regularly. He also has a ton of other knick knacks and things he’s picked up over the years scattered all around his apartment, but the bells are what he’s most attached to, I believe.
8. What kind of flavors does your oc like? How much spice can they handle?
Theo has been eating spicy food since he was a child, so he takes it like a champ. I don’t think he’s ever had anything that was too spicy for him. The burn is nothing to him. Moving on, Theo isn’t picky and will eat whatever is given to him, no matter the flavor. He does actually dislike sweets, though, and has a hard time eating them when they’re given to him. To be clear, he’ll still eat them… he just doesn’t actually like them and grimaces the whole way through. Theo has a really strange relationship with food. 
9. How easily does your oc trust others? Any particular reason why? How trustworthy are they themselves?
Theo had his trust broken by the abuse and neglect he faced when he was just a little boy. He’s never felt safe around others as a result and the effects of that have definitely leaked over onto everything else in his life, staining any chance he could’ve had at forming normal bonds with others. It’s not even that he doesn’t trust people easily, but rather that he distrusts everyone on principle and is suspicious of every kindness or placid smile he receives. Even when he’s being pampered, he feels uneasy and suspicious of what will come next—what he thinks has to come next. He believes that there’s something malignant and twisted at the core of everyone who tries to touch him. If he can’t find the intent to harm that he always expects to see, he’ll just sow the seed himself.
As for Theo, I believe he’s trustworthy to a point. You can trust that Theo won’t tell other people the things you’ve told him in confidence, but you can’t exactly trust him not to turn around and start hurling the things you’ve told him right back in your face. Theo lashes out when he gets nervous or scared, especially if he’s in withdrawal, and he has this ability to see through people… to know what will slice them apart easiest, what they dislike most about themselves… that is almost impossible to come back from. You have to be incredibly strong, mentally speaking, to be able to handle Theo sometimes. He’ll tremble while hurting you, but he’ll hurt you nonetheless.
10. What are some of your oc’s pet peeves? How do they handle it when the annoyance doesn’t stop?
Theo actually has a lot of pet peeves… so much so that I don’t think it’d be a wise use of my time to list them all, lest we be here for days. I’ll just list off some of the things that annoy him the most out of everything. 
Theo really doesn’t like being prodded for answers to personal questions, especially if they relate to his childhood or family life. He doesn’t like it when he’s interrupted or talked down to. He doesn’t like being touched unexpectedly or having someone stand too close to him and will flinch reactively. He doesn’t like having the spotlight on him—or, at least, he doesn’t like it when he’s not all uninhibited from intoxication. He especially doesn’t like arrogance (lmao).
How Theo reacts is totally dependent on who he’s around, whether or not he’s using, and whichever one of these pet peeves is getting to him, but in general he’s either going to shut down, glare and shoot off at the mouth, or walk away.
11. Does your oc have a good sense of direction? Do they get lost easily?
Theo’s sense of direction is okay, but it definitely could be better. His memory itself isn’t very great and he often finds himself feeling déjà vu in places he swears he’s never been to while forgetting the basic landmarks that’re around the city he lives in. 
12. How well would your oc handle being placed in a leadership position?
Not well at all. Theo doesn’t want to be responsible for other people when he can hardly even take care of himself. The idea of being some kind of authority is nausea inducing to him. I think a lot of people would willingly follow him, though, because he really does have this innate ability to draw people in even when he’s not trying to.
13. What is your oc’s confidence like? Are they self-confident to the point of being arrogant? Are they terribly self-deprecating?
Theo often seems to other people as though he has a lot of self-confidence because of the way he talks and how he carries himself, but in actuality he’s rather disparaging toward himself. He’s always second guessing himself and wondering if he’s good enough. He feels as though he’s missing some vital part of himself that everyone else must have, something that without which he’s never going to be fully whole and deserving of love. 
14. What is your oc’s speech like? How loud are they usually? Do they have an accent or a stutter?
Theo has a very clear voice and never slurs. However, he does start mumbling if he’s beginning to withdraw into himself or if he’s only just woken up and sleep is still clinging to him. He speaks quietly, never wanting to be too loud and draw too much attention to himself (a habit he formed in his childhood). His American English accent is largely neutral without any extra stresses or dips.
He did actually develop a stutter in his teenage years but underwent speech therapy for it. 
15. What is your oc’s memory like? Do they remember certain things better than others? Do they have any strategies to better remember things?
Theo often has lapses in his memory that’re either brought upon by or made worse by drug use and trauma. There are events and experiences that his brain just buries from him and he can’t remember them at all. Aside from that, his memory itself isn’t that great, but he’s learned that repetition helps. If he’s studying or has something he really wants to remember well, he’ll read/repeat it forwards and then backwards a few times. He takes a ton of notes as well and has a journal that he writes in every day now. He’s aware that his memory gets better when he lays off the drug use for a while, but… he’s addicted. He doesn’t try getting clean for a while and relapses many times before it finally sticks.
16. How affectionate is your oc? How do they convey their affection? By being touchy, or through more subtle ways?
Whether it’s platonic or romantic, Theo isn’t very affectionate at all. He doesn’t even really have a baseline for what real physical and verbal affection is meant to look like anymore, as his memories of the affection his childhood au pair showed him keep fading more and more as each day passes.
Theo can only picture affection if it’s hard—if it’s brutal and rough and will ultimately hurt him. He can’t really wrap his head around softness anymore. That kind of touch is almost unbearable to him… because if he could’ve always had gentle hands on him, then what did he do so wrong to deserve the ones he got? 
He wants to be affectionate, but… it’s too much. He’s too fearful and ashamed of everything he wants and it’s all just building up inside of him. Voicing desire out loud is nearly impossible for him as well, because he just feels so much shame around it… how it deviates from everything he’s been told he should want… how it’s been used against him… 
It takes a lot of time to get him used to gentle affection and when he starts to reciprocate it, it’s tentative at first. He’ll stand close by and then he’ll reach out to hold onto an arm or grip tight onto the back of a shirt for just a few seconds. Just… little progress at a time, these small victories where warmth spreads through his fingers. It takes well over a year before he becomes more bold and will initiate kisses or hugs. Still, though, he won’t voice his affections or even his desires. Not for a very long time.
The only exception to this is when he’s hurt. He seeks Matthias out and will wait to be touched before clinging on tightly and letting it all out.
17. How polite is your oc? Do they know how to act in a formal situation? How would they *actually* act in a formal situation?
Theo isn’t very polite unless he’s in the presence of his parents or is somewhere where he’s expected to uphold his family name. He knows how to act in formal situations well enough and will follow the rules set out for those occasions when he needs to. Outside of formal situations and away from his parents, though, Theo is often dismissive and cold and will skim over the standards of politeness. It’s the only way he knows how to defend himself anymore.
18. How physically strong is your oc? Is their agility or endurance better?
Theo isn’t very strong at all. He has some lean muscle that’s a combination of natural testosterone paired with light cardio (he dances, plays a few sports when he gets the opportunity to, and sometimes jogs) but that’s it. I think his stamina isn’t that great but he’s fast and reacts quickly—though he finds it hard to actually dodge when he should… even when he can see it coming. His tolerance for pain has adapted over time and is rather high now, but the emotional effects of being hurt still get to him.
19. What is your oc’s creative skillset? Music, drawing, writing, dancing, etc.? Or are they lacking creativity entirely?
I think Theo is actually really creative even without him realizing it. He really enjoys dancing and is free while moving, doing whatever he thinks feels good; he wasn’t taught professionally at all, so it’s just intuitive and fun for him. He keeps track of things in his journal, but he has a certain style to the way he writes that I think is incredibly descriptive and lends itself to creativity. In all of his English and Literature classes he received a ton of high praise that was ultimately ignored as it wasn’t relevant to the direction his life was planned to go in (with relation to his future major in business). He doesn’t draw or play music, but I think he’d be good at it if he ever allowed himself the time to have those creative outlets. Theo’s pretty strict with himself, honestly, but his imagination… it’s definitely there. I think as a child he was used to entertaining himself by imagining a different life for himself, one where his au pair took him with them when they left his home. 
20. Does your oc have any favorite games to pass the time? What other hobbies do they have?
Theo people watches, if that counts. He likes observing people and picking out details about their life from their behaviors and the way they dress. His other hobbies… hm. I don’t think he has very many, truthfully. He likes to go partying and will get intoxicated however he can and go dancing, maybe even play a few drinking games. He likes playing sports but he doesn’t often get the opportunity to since he doesn’t have any friends (in his mind). He likes to collect things and window shop. He likes journaling. Yeah… that’s really all I can think of. Theo doesn’t allow himself very many simple joys.
21. Is your oc expressive, or would they rather conceal their emotions? What are their typical expressions like?
Theo can certainly try very hard to conceal his emotions, but his eyes… they give everything away if you’re truly paying attention. He can be very impassive at times, especially if he’s hurt, but when he’s frustrated it’s incredibly obvious; his brow furrows and he glares directly at whatever or whomever is bothering him. He hides his hurt well, but when he’s feverish and sick you can kind of catch onto it by the sweat on his brow and the flush of his cheeks. Theo’s smile itself is incredibly rare and kind of… clumsy? His smile is crooked and he never holds it for very long. If you call out his name he’ll startle and quickly look toward you, and in those few seconds of shock his face gives away how terrified he truly is most of the time. 
22. How easily does your oc fare in the sun? Do they tan or burn easily? Are they completely unaffected?
Theo doesn’t burn at all even when he doesn’t apply any sunscreen. Let it be known that Matthias is always reaching out to Theo to put some on him when they’re together, fussing over Theo and complaining about the harms of the sun… it’s cute. Theo doesn’t tan that easily so he has to put suntan lotion on whenever he wants to.
23. How graceful is your oc? Are they elegant in their movements, or more clumsy?
Theo has a grace that comes to him easily now through years of practice. Because of how ambitious both of his parents were for wealth and status, he’d been brought to numerous social functions that required a lot of him when it came to manners and poise. He never learned in a professional capacity, but he has a kind of elegance that was ingrained in him by a militaristic approach to teaching from his parents as well as observation. There’s nothing clumsy about the way he moves when in public and you would assume he’s someone who’s very confident in himself just by watching him from across the room.
24. Is your oc a romantic, or are they grossed out by the simple mention of anything romantic?
Hm. I don’t think Theo outwardly shows any romantic tendencies, but inwardly… in that soft, guarded place inside of him… I think he makes himself sick yearning for love and romance. He doesn’t let on to those feelings of his at all. In fact, I think Theo probably shrinks away from mentions of romance, insisting he doesn’t need it… but really, it’s something he imagines all the time. What must it be like, to have that for yourself? Does it hurt? How bad is it? Is it painless? Does it fill you up? Does it ever feel like enough? Thoughts like those.
25. How stubborn is your oc? Are they open to considering different options or opinions, or are they more closed off?
Theo is incredibly stubborn. You can certainly try to convince him to change his opinion or what he believes, but you’re going to be fighting tooth and nail against a man who is wholly inflexible. Theo’s formed a lot of very fast and hard opinions over the course of his life that he’s unreceptive to changing for his own peace of mind. He might let some allowances slip by, but don’t count on it. I honestly don’t think he’d ever give in and change them unless he’s been hit with solid facts or experiences something for himself that points to the contrary. 
26. How does your oc sleep? Do they move around a lot? What position does your oc normally sleep in? What are their typical bedding arrangements like?
Theo is a very anxious, fitful sleeper. He’s wound up all tight through the night and will fist his hands in his covers or his pillows. He moves around a lot and prefers to sleep with his back to a wall and the door a great distance away from him. He can’t sleep if he’s on the first floor of a building or if he doesn’t check all of the locks first. Theo sleeps on his side and will actually startle awake if he rolls over onto his stomach, heart in his throat and sweat at his temples. Theo’s bed in his apartment has… three, maybe four pillows—one of which he hugs to his chest. On his bed, he has two sets of sheets, a comforter, and a blanket. Theo has a sort of crowded bed, honestly, but it cradles him… which is something he needs to feel safe.
27. What is your oc’s sleep schedule like? Are they a night owl, an early morning riser, or do they get any sleep at all?
Theo prefers the morning as he doesn’t like the dark and feels worse without sunlight. But… hm… Theo doesn’t get a lot of sleep since he’s either out partying and getting too intoxicated to stand or he’s up all night pouring over his study notes and getting a headache for it. I’d say he normally falls asleep around 3AM-4AM and doesn’t wake back up until 7AM. Four-ish hours is pretty average for how much sleep he gets a night… maybe less at times. He’s wearing himself down and will end up crashing eventually… 
28. How organized is your oc? How important is organization to your oc?
Theo is very organized when it comes to his study materials and his wardrobe, but the state of the rest of his apartment is… I wouldn’t say messy exactly, but cluttered enough that he has trouble finding things sometimes. He has so much on his plate already that his apartment kind of suffers for it. I think he values organization a lot, it’s just that he lets it get away from him. I think there’s a lot you can learn about Theo from how his apartment looks…
29. If a perfume was to be made to represent your oc, what sorts of smells would be included in it?
I think Theo is best represented by light scents as he himself doesn’t really like anything that smells too chemical. He hardly ever wears cologne, but when he does he sticks to a fresh green scent. Powder and soap… that’s what reminds me of him most. Lemon, too, but not strong… just a hint of citrus.
30. How caring/empathetic is your oc? Are they the type to immediately adopt and protect others, or are they a true sadist?
Kindness hasn’t come easily to Theo since he was a child, so I’m not sure if he’s very caring anymore… at least, if he is then he doesn’t outwardly show it. Theo does have a learned kind of empathy, though… just not… a very real kind? Um, so because of the hostile environment he grew up in he had to adapt to subtle changes in expression, mood, and tone… he needed to know when he was in danger, what alert signs there were. The easier people became to read, the more he could feel their emotions spill over and try to pull him in. It’s… not exactly as if he’s sharing the feelings, but more like he has a very real sense of them… it’s almost tangible.
31. What inspired the creation of your oc? Any specific things, a general aesthetic or idea, or something completely random?
Theo is a pretty old character of mine… I’d say he’s been with me for at least five years now. Originally, I think he was just… a vague idea in my head with some aesthetic choices in mind (sweaters, abandoned houses, autumn leaves, dirty shoes)... but over time I started getting more invested. I think one of the main building blocks of his character was actually a really old post I saw about a bloody child bringing a rabbit they'd saved from a hawk into the house and trying to get their mom to notice, but the mom just blew them off because she was busy on the phone… yeah. I kind of got that stuck in my head and built up this neglected kid around it who was a little sarcastic, mean, buried under all kinds of responsibilities, and lonely. His actual appearance in TS4 wasn't even really meant to be him at first, as I'd just been making random male sims at the time and then one of the ones I made kept drawing my attention back to them. I made some slight changes and then I decided that would be Theo. He still looks pretty similar to the original sim, actually.
32. How judgemental is your oc? Do they keep an open mind about people, or are they the type to judge a book by its cover?
Oh, Theo is super judgmental. He’s distrustful of people on principle and highly perceptive, which is an all around bad combination since he can quickly spin the innocuous into something worse. 
33. What five objects or things could be expected to be found on your oc’s person at any time? Why?
Theo has a bag that he keeps his planner, his phone, his keys, some cash, and hand sanitizer in… occasionally there’s some baggies in there if he’s stressed out from too many assignments or pressure from his parents.
34. Does your oc have a pet? If they could have another one or if they were to get one, what would it be? How well could they care for it?
No, Theo has no pets. He wouldn’t even know what kind of pet to get. Theo had never even been around any pets until he met Matthias’s cat. I also think… well. Theo wouldn’t be very good at caring for a pet. Like, I don’t even think he’d be good at feeding fish regularly. He doesn’t have that kind of time and can barely even take care of himself.
35. Does your oc have any distinguishing markings? Scars, tattoos, birthmarks, freckles, etc?
Theo is covered in beauty marks from head to toe. I think his most notable (at least to me) beauty marks are the two under his left eye and the one on the tip of his nose. Theo has no birthmarks, freckles, or tattoos. Theo also has no scars… every violent hand laid on him has been intentional in pulling back just before leaving behind any lasting marks.
36. What is your oc’s fight or flight response like? What sorts of things provoke it the most?
When Theo’s nervous (around other people, in discussions that’re too personal, when confronted by emotions, etc.) I’d say he falsely exhibits the fight response and will become a bit nasty as a defensive maneuver. If he’s pushed past defensive behaviors and is actually put into harm's way, the fight response quickly melts away to his real fear responses. As a specific result of trauma, Theo displays both the fawn and freeze responses. His parents bring about the fawn response and figures of authority bring out the freeze response. I’ll leave it at that.
37. How does your oc handle heavy stress? Do they have any specific coping mechanisms? Are they healthy or not?
Theo is used to stress as he’s been put under a lot of it since he was a teenager. That said, he’s never been able to manage it healthily and his go-to way to cope is by numbing everything out. Theo abuses substances and sex… and I suppose that by nature of both of these coping mechanisms he’s also abusing himself. It’s obviously not good for him and as time goes on he begins to spin out of control.
38. What does your oc do to relax? Any specific activities? Why?
Theo never truly allows himself to relax, like, ever. Hm. I do think there are small moments, though, where he finds some peace. When he’s in his apartment he’ll sometimes reach into the curio cabinet that holds his collection of tiny little bells and give a few of them a ring… the sounds they give off are very sweet and make him smile. In the morning, when he wakes up at his apartment, he likes to watch the birds fluttering about outside his bedroom window; there’s a window box just there that’s home to a nest. He’s never once tried to interact with the birds, though. He just stares and watches silently from his bed.
39. Does your oc have any nicknames? What are the origins of them? If they don’t, can you come up with some possible ones?
Theo is in itself a nickname that he gave himself when he moved out of his parents’ home (Theodore is his full name). Most everyone in his personal life calls him Theo except for his parents, his extended family, and the people that his parents associate with.
Matthias has given Theo a couple personal nicknames and also calls him a bunch of others. My personal favorite of the nicknames Matthias has given Theo is Bambi, which was originally given to him because his last name is Doe (a doe is a kind of deer… hence Matthias reaching for the name of an animated deer). Matthias also calls him Bambi because of his golden brown eyes and because Theo is sort of wobbly and green in Matthias’s eyes, reminding him of that scene wherein Bambi tries to walk for the first time. Matthias also calls Theo mała myszko, which means little mouse in Polish (Matthias’s native language), and he often uses my darling at the same time (like: “My darling, mała myszko, it’s time to get up”). As for regular nicknames, Angel is what Matthias calls Theo most often in the heat of sex (again, a nickname often said alongside my darling, as in: “My darling angel”). There are many more pet names that Matthias calls Theo, but those are the ones he hears most often.
40. What languages does your oc know? Are there any they want to learn but haven’t had the chance to? How good are they at picking up new ones?
Theo is only fluent in English and Spanish, however he can read Hangul and understand Korean when it’s spoken to or around him. He doesn’t have the time to learn any other languages and doesn’t exactly have a desire to either. I think his parents have definitely pushed him to learn more languages as they would benefit his career, but he has too much going on as it is to learn at the moment. 
41. What was the worst injury your oc ever suffered? Has it had any long lasting impact on them?
I’m not going to answer that first part, but I will say that it did impact him grievously and has rippled out through his whole life.
42. Is your oc an optimist or a pessimist? Any particular reason why?
Theo’s a pessimist. He’s never had much to be happy about and is on a path in his life that is being entirely puppeteered by his parents. Theo has nothing to look forward to and feels like his life is out of his own control and already over. 
Through the course of the little story that I have for Echthroi in my head, however, Theo does eventually move away from the pessimism. I don’t think he becomes an optimist exactly, but he smiles more and finds things to look forward to in his life.
43. How important are the rules to your oc? Do they follow them to a t, or do they enjoy breaking them?
Theo definitely has a history as a rule follower. He can’t really help it, not with the way he was raised. He had rebellious moments as a teenager—refusing to sit down for a haircut, stabbing a needle through his own ears to pierce them—but those were things he did to incite his parents’ attention. Now, though… well. I think he still follows most rules, but he does use drugs… pretty big rule to break there, legally speaking.
44. How violent is your oc? Or are they more of a pacifist? To what lengths will they go to start/avoid a conflict?
Theo is all bark and no bite. He’ll lash out if he’s frightened, he’ll insult and dismiss, but the second he sees a telling twitch of the hand or building tension in the jaw he goes quiet and retreats. He’s only ever tried fighting back a few times… he doesn’t have it in him anymore.
45. How is your oc around animals? What about children?
Theo isn’t good with children and is awkward and fumbling with animals. He’s never been around a lot of kids, but… I don’t know. I think seeing children hurts him, a lot of the time. The happier they are, the more Theo wants to escape. With animals… he doesn’t know how to touch them or even how to approach. Matthias’s cat, Odious, is very friendly and makes Theo freeze up when she comes over to lay in his lap. It takes him months to get used to her. He doesn’t hate either of them to be clear. Like, he’s not a total weirdo, he just… he doesn’t know how to act around them.
46. Does your oc lie a lot, or is the truth very important to them? What is their reaction to other people lying to them?
Theo isn’t a very good liar but he has a lot that he has to keep secret… because of this, he’s learned how to skirt around the truth and evades questions that poke and prod with ease. However, I think despite how frequently he tells half-truths, he’s actually someone who doesn’t like lying. He’s used to being told lies, though. He’s been lied to rather often and even though he can see through it effortlessly now that he’s had so many years to catch on to the signs, it still hurts him. He doesn’t outwardly show that he knows the truth, but internally it tears him up.
47. How much of a prankster is your oc? Are their pranks truly evil, or more harmless, positive ones?
Theo doesn’t like pranks. He doesn’t like startling people and doesn’t find it humorous. He doesn’t ever want to make anyone feel fear. He knows what that’s like all too well.
48. What are your oc’s nervous tics? Are they aware of them? Do they attempt to hide them?
I was going to say Theo has no nervous tics, but I suppose the way he lashes out is a kind of nervous tic. Physically speaking, though, Theo shows next to no signs of distress. He isn’t someone who fidgets ever, though he does still get the urge to at times. If he ever slips up and moves a hand clumsily in the air or shifts uncomfortably, he’ll catch himself and freeze, righting himself without drawing any more attention to himself. 
Theo is still skittish, though. Like, he won’t shift around or bounce a leg, but he startles easily. Call his name and he jumps, make a loud noise and he jumps, say something unexpectedly and he jumps. He’s never been able to hide that.
49. What would be the perfect gift for your oc? What would be their reaction to receiving it?
If you gave Theo a bell his cheeks would get all pink and he wouldn’t be able to look away from it… he’d hold it very gently in his hands, not wanting to drop it. He’d say thank you all soft and quiet, then place it with the rest of his collection. He’d smile to himself, but he wouldn’t smile at you. 
I also think bandaging Theo up would feel like a gift to him. No one’s ever taken care of him like that before.
50. How attentive is your oc? How perceptive are they? How easily do they get distracted?
Theo’s incredibly perceptive and when he’s focused on one thing it’s almost impossible to pull his attention away from it. He’s pretty discipled, honestly, because of all the studying and the focus he’s needed to keep up with it. I think Matthias is the only person who can distract Theo… the ways in which he goes about doing that are best left to the imagination. Have fun.
51. If your oc was to receive an award for something, what would it most likely be for? Have they received any awards in the past?
Theo’s won many different kinds of academic awards throughout school. Honestly… I don’t know any specific awards I’d give him…
52. In what ways does your oc cope with anger? How easily angered are they? Do they lash out?
Theo only lashes out when he’s scared, not from anger. Anger is an emotion that frightens Theo, that colors his cheeks with shame. He’s been on the receiving end of anger most of his life, so to feel it himself is… horrifying. I think Theo believes anger forces your hand, that it’s always this uncontrollable act of violence no matter what. He represses his anger frantically, desperate not to frighten anyone, not to hurt. He’s very hard to make angry and there’s next to nothing someone could do to make him act on his anger, even if it would be justified. He gets annoyed, he huffs, he rolls his eyes, he insults, but he never raises his voice, he never throws his fist, he never threatens. 
53. If your oc was to host a podcast or TV show, what would it be about? Would your oc actually be good at it? What sorts of guests would appear?
Theo would rather watch paint dry than host any kind of show, let’s be clear. However, I think he has a very good podcast voice. I can imagine him doing a podcast where he reads to you until you fall asleep. No guests, just his voice.
54. How would you describe your oc’s voice to sound like? Do you have any voice claims for them?
Theo is soft-spoken. His voice is unassuming and haunting… you close your eyes to listen and feel the chills running up your arms. He pronounces his words almost delicately, giving an alluring color to his voice. Like a mirage in the desert, you want to drink it in, to hold it in your own mouth just to taste it for a while. When Theo speaks, you get the impression that he’s not all there, something disengaged in his tone. It drives people to take a step closer, wanting to hear more of it, to be worthy of his full attention. It’s a voice you could listen to every day and still find yourself drawing a blank when trying to imagine the avatar behind it.
No voice claims.
55. How sensitive to loud sound is your oc? Do they prefer constant high background noise, low background noise, or complete silence?
Theo is very jumpy around loud noises. If he isn’t prepared for it (like knowingly heading into a club where the music is going to be booming) he’ll flinch and turn his eyes to the ground quickly, shaking out his hands before going statue-still again. Theo prefers complete silence or quiet background noises like a fan or soft, melodious music.
56. What is your oc’s favorite color? If you had to choose one color to represent your oc, what would it be and why?
Theo’s favorite color is probably some shade of red. And I think a fiery orange represents Theo well. Theo reminds me a lot of fire… he’s someone who keeps standing still while smoke is pouring out of his ears, burning quietly in the middle of an abandoned room.
57. How good is your oc’s sight? Do they wear glasses? Do they need glasses? Do they have some form of night vision?
Theo has perfect eyesight.
58. How would you describe your oc’s appearance to someone who’s looking for them? What features would be most identifiable?
I’d probably start waxing poetic about him, honestly. I’d just be giving way too much detail… like:
Theo’s features are delicate and soft-edged. He’s slender with narrow shoulders and of average height. His skin is light brown with a dark smattering of moles all over. His face is round and ruddy cheeked. His brows are straight and dark. His eyes are a light golden brown, sometimes mistaken for hazel, with puffy bags underneath that give a youthful yet tired appearance. His nose is button shaped with a straight bridge. His lips are plump and full. His hair is dark brown and tumbles down to his collarbone in thick waves. His gaze is cool, assessing. He carries such an air of hurt around him that your heart aches when you see him. You could fall in love with him easily.
I think whoever I’m giving instructions to would forget half of what I’d said and only remember the part where I mentioned his long hair. And… hm… I’d say his ruddy cheeks are his most identifiable feature for sure.
59. How good at cooking is your oc? What can they cook/what is their favorite thing to cook?
I think Theo is very bad at taking care of himself, so he actually forgets to eat frequently now that he’s living on his own for college. Regardless… I think he’s decent at cooking. Despite his family having enough money that they easily could’ve hired help around their home, they didn’t. This means that Theo had to fend for himself at a pretty young age. He knows how to cook pretty basic food, but the way he cooks is… messy. He doesn’t have a favorite thing to cook.
60. How good is your oc at keeping track of time? Are they always late, always early, or always right on time?
Hm… I think Theo actually loses track of time a lot, courtesy of his drug use and memory problems, so he has a handful of recurring alarms set on his phone. He’s always on time because of that. He’d feel sick if he were ever late to something he was required to be at, actually… especially if it was a family event.
61. Is your oc more quick-thinking, or do they take longer to figure things out?
Theo catches on quickly. He’s incredibly perceptive and sees what others cannot with ease. Early on in Theo’s childhood he had to learn how to pick up on subtleties in expressions, on double meanings to words, on tone, on gestures… he had to pick everything apart to protect himself, and as he grew that skill of his did as well and aided him in seeing patterns. He’s able to find answers faster than most other people just from deduction.
62. How quick is your oc? Do they have faster or slower reflexes? What things are they quickest at?
Perhaps it’s due to his good eyesight or his peerless perception, but Theo’s reflexes are incredibly fast. He’s good at running, too, and is lightning quick on his feet. I think he’d have done amazingly in track and field if he ever went for it in school. He's really good at soccer for this reason. Despite his stamina being pretty average, Theo’s the kind of person who will push himself harder and harder even when his body’s telling him to pull back. If he dedicated real time to it, I think he could train for a couple of years and come back playing better than anyone.
63. How self-disciplined is your oc? Do they often think before they act, or the other way around?
Theo always thinks things over first and isn’t one for snap decisions. In fact, I’d say Theo actually makes himself sick from how much thinking he’s always doing. One of the many reasons Theo uses drugs is because of how effective they are at shutting off his brain. He’s inundated by the responsibilities of his life—of which he feels he has no control over—and loses whenever he tries outrunning the thoughts that swirl around in his head. Drugs are the easiest way he’s found to get it all to just… stop.
Theo is also very serious about his education, and, in that way, he’s admirably self-disciplined. 
64. Which of the seven deadly sins does your oc fall under most? What about the seven heavenly virtues?
Hm… picking a sin for Theo is surprisingly hard. I think Theo’s strongest sin is… maybe envy? Definitely not gluttony or greed, though, that’s for sure.
As for the heavenly virtues, I think Theo best exemplifies fortitude, followed by prudence and temperance.
65. If you were to give your oc a new superpower, what would you choose and why? If *they* were to be able to choose, what would it be and why?
I think I’d want to give Theo something he could use to protect himself and that would offer him a sense of comfort. Maybe just give him invulnerability outright or something subtler that would make it easy for him to escape situations he doesn’t want to be in. Flight? Invisibility? 
As for Theo, I think he’d want something repellant. A forcefield of some kind…?
66. What sort of advice would people go to your oc for? What sort of advice is your oc actually good at giving?
Theo isn’t good at giving advice and would shake his head at being asked.
67. How many people does your oc prefer to be around? A crowd, a few friends, or all on their own?
Theo is interesting in that he’s a loner but he also goes out of his way to enter clubs and join throngs of people in the ebb and flow of dance, blending in with them in the dark. I think Theo is actually lonely at his core and ultimately is unhappy being so solitary—a truth he neither acknowledges to himself nor to others. A small group of people who he trusts and loves would soothe him best.
68. What sorts of things would cheer your oc up when they’re down? Is your oc sad often, or is it more rare?
Calling Theo sad would be an understatement. Theo’s full of woe and has little in his life that brings him joy. I think he’s very used to the way he feels but… I do think simple things would make him smile. Something as easy as saying that he’s been missed would do the trick. Just… the implication that he’s been thought of and isn’t easily forgotten… yeah.
69. How energetic is your oc? Are they constantly tired, or constantly bouncing off the walls?
Theo has the weight of the world on his shoulders and is operating on just a few hours of sleep most days, so he’s pretty much low energy up until the moment he’s free of his responsibilities and can let loose. You can see him start to come alive when he’s partying, even while sober—his cheeks flush, his eyes light up, and his body moves fluidly. It’s only when he’s on uppers that he actually starts bouncing off the walls.
70. What about your oc’s lifestyle would they change if they had the ability? Why?
I don’t think Theo would even know where to begin… 
71. What is your oc’s go-to for offense? What weapon, what style of fighting? Or are words more their weapon of choice?
I don’t actually think Theo has any offensive preferences, because he’s not really a fighter. That human instinct to fight back was trained out of him very young… so. Yeah. He does have a scathing way of speaking that can definitely be used to hurt, though.
72. What is your oc’s ideal environment like? Urban or natural? Fancy or rustic? What’s the weather like?
Theo wants to be away from it all. He wants to be unreachable. The further away he is from other people, the better. So… somewhere where there’s more nature than there are buildings. As for the weather… hm… Theo prefers cool weather as he likes bundling up, but he doesn’t want to be stuck in the snow all the time. A nice, mild climate.
73. If your oc were to be arrested, what would it most likely be for? Is it justified? Have they actually been arrested before?
Well… I think I’m going to have to say the drug use is probably what’d do him in. Is it justified…? Well, he does use drugs… but I personally don’t think drugs should be criminalized and instead believe in harm reduction.
74. How would your oc act when drunk? What about when really, really tired?
Theo actually doesn’t get drunk very often as he doesn’t really like the taste of alcohol and would rather just use drugs. When he does drink enough to get intoxicated, I think the effect is pretty similar to how he is when he’s on milder drugs. Drunk Theo is unrestrained in how he moves, letting himself be as unrefined as he couldn’t be as a child. He waves his hands around and bounces his legs to let out some energy. He throws his head back when he’s feeling good without fear of being told to mind his manners. His inhibitions are all but nonexistent and he speaks whatever thoughts come to mind. All of those walls he’s built up around himself come tumbling down and he forgets why he was ever afraid to exist as he is in the first place.
Theo becomes sluggish and irritable (...more irritable than he normally is, anyway) when he’s stayed up for far too long. He has little time for anyone else and is focused solely on whatever it is that’s been keeping him up. He gets dizzy when he’s lacking sleep and has a hard time staying on task, though. He doesn’t normally let himself get this tired, but it does happen. He has a lot of trouble getting himself to fall asleep after he reaches this point. Whenever Matthias sees Theo like this, he’ll walk Theo to the bath even as Theo huffs and complains testily. He’ll wait for the tub to fill up while he brushes out Theo’s hair and kisses down his neck, speaking softly to Theo all the while. He’ll get Theo in the water and either slide in behind him or sit just outside the bath. He’ll wash Theo’s hair and gently scrub his body, unbothered when Theo’s head falls back onto his shoulder or against his chest, soaking through his shirt. Theo normally becomes fully pliant by the time Matthias is pulling him out of the water, staying quiet as Matthias dries him off, dresses him, and lays him down in the bed. Matthias will only be away for a moment to grab a book before coming back to hold Theo, blocking the door from Theo’s sight. Theo sleeps like a baby after all of that and Matthias lays awake holding him until noon.
75. What would your oc’s dream home be like? How big would it be? What sorts of rooms would be in it? Where would it be located?
Truthfully, Theo doesn’t like big open spaces. I think there’s a loneliness to big houses that unsettles him. He could never feel comfortable somewhere with too many doors, either… too many shadowy corners, not enough assurance that someone couldn’t be hiding in them. So Theo would rather live somewhere smaller, with just the right amount of space for him and all of his things. Honestly, his apartment is pretty perfect for him already.
76. What is/was your oc’s relationship with their family like? Was it happy, tense, or abusive? What living family does your oc currently have, if any?
Theo’s relationship with his parents has always been one of control. Theo doesn’t speak unless spoken to and falls in line at their every word. His father has plans for Theo to join him in his business and his mother begrudgingly allows it, though she would have rather had him following in her footsteps. Theo’s parents see him as a tool… of which they’ve had to beat into proper shape. Theo grew up under the tender care of his childhood au pair while his parents focused on their careers and their status, and it was only when Theo became old enough that he could take care of himself that they sent away his au pair and decided it was their turn to step in. He’d experienced abuse at the hands of his parents before, but his au pair had shielded him from much more than he was ever even aware of. When his parents would leave him to his own devices he found solace in isolation. His mid-teens were when things got worse for him, but his parents weren’t as physical with him past that as he’d learned to behave how they wanted. Now as an adult he’s no longer under their roof but still comes when they call on him. He’s desperate for their affection and approval, of which he never sees.
77. Does your oc like to wear any particular accessories? Hats, jewelry, scarves, etc.?
Theo likes to wear jewelry. He always has a pair of earrings on and will occasionally throw on a necklace. He doesn’t have any particular set he prefers to wear, but he does go for gold more than silver. 
78. How socially skilled is your oc? Are they good at understanding social cues? How charismatic are they?
Theo’s actually very charismatic without trying to be and when he does intentionally turn on the charm (mostly when his parents are requiring him to be at their little soirées) he becomes irresistible. Being a moth caught in his light is… blissful. He picks up on social cues without breaking a sweat and is very good at playing along when he needs to.
But, on a personal level, Theo lacks a social life. He has the people he associates with at parties, but he doesn’t view them as his friends (even though they are…) and doesn’t communicate with them outside of the clubs they go to (even though they try to keep in contact with him). When he doesn’t have to play pretend for his parents, he’s actually pretty hard to get along with and most people resort to watching him from afar. He’s still charming, mind you, but he’s not… um, nice, exactly.
79. For what reason would your oc turn into a villain? And if they’re already a villain, vice-versa?
Honestly… Theo’s been put through a lot and he’s still good at his core, so I can’t imagine there’s anything that could turn him into a villain… that’s just not who he is.
80. What is your oc’s handwriting like? How easy is it to read? Can they write/read cursive?
Theo’s handwriting is even and strong. He doesn’t waste time by adding any extravagant details and has a print style that is consistent from letter to letter. He writes in print almost exclusively, but he does use cursive when he’s writing more formal letters. His cursive is similar to his print in that it’s written with a heavy hand and each stroke is dark and thick.  
81. How good is your oc at drawing? What is their preferred art medium, and what is their artstyle like?
Theo’s never really sat down to draw before… or, at least, not since he was a child. Nevertheless, I do think he’d be good at it if he took the time to practice for a year or two. Theo puts his all into studying, so I imagine he’d work tirelessly at it. He’d do those one-drawing-a-day challenges and he’d push himself to think outside of the box. His art would be incredibly creative… I wish he’d allow himself that.
82. What would be your oc’s ultimate dream vacation? Where would they go? Who would they take with them? What would they do?
Theo doesn’t have an “ultimate dream vacation” in his back pocket… like, there’s nothing he fantasizes about. He can’t even think of a concrete destination that he’d want to go for a vacation. He would just get stressed trying to think of something and then he’d freak out about how far behind it’d put him academically… it’d ripple out to the rest of his responsibilities and he’d be lost. He can’t let that happen.
83. What is your oc’s favorite trait about themselves? What about their least liked? What would others like and dislike the most about your oc?
I’ve been thinking this over a lot, because, y’know, Theo really doesn’t like himself. He has a serious amount of self-loathing pulling him down, so it’s hard really coming up with anything he likes about himself. But I think Theo might actually like how perceptive he is, because it’s what keeps him safe. I’m not saying it’s his favorite thing, because that implies he’s got other traits he really likes and that’s really not the case. As for his least liked trait, I think Theo thinks his desires are sticky and pathetic and horrible.
In general, I think most people find Theo’s magnetism to be, well, very alluring. The combination of the way Theo carries himself and speaks has an appeal that draws people in. He’s interesting. At times he’s all sharp edges and closed off whereas other times he’s all blurry and open. As for what people dislike about him, it’s most likely how dismissive he is when you get off on the wrong foot with him.
Matthias in particular loves how intelligent and wry Theo is… and he actually likes how dismissive Theo can be with people. Really, he just likes everything.
84. Is your oc more masculine, feminine, androgynous, or something else entirely?
I think Theo’s pretty masculine, though he does wear some androgynous clothing on occasion.
85. What would history remember your oc for? How would they become famous? Or are they the sort that would really only be appreciated long after their death?
In the Echthroi universe, Theo isn’t someone who seeks the spotlight. However, that’s certainly something his parents want for him… hm. I think he’s well known in the upper echelons of his parents’ circle for his intelligence, his manners, and his arresting appearance. I think he’s also famous on his campus… I think a lot of people would like to covet Theo. I don’t think Theo would ever become proper famous, though… like, I have a really hard time even conceptualizing fame for him, just like I have a hard time seeing that for Matthias.
86. What would someone assume about your oc based on their appearance? Would those assumptions be correct?
Hm… on appearance alone, I think Theo gives off a sort of cool elegance. I think he seems doleful and… honestly, a little intimidating. He’s gorgeous, so… you have to be very confident to approach him. Most people would assume he’s dismissive and stuck-up… that he’s quiet… flirtatious… 
I think he definitely does give the cold shoulder a lot of the time and he’s not very talkative, so those would be true. He’s not stuck-up, though… he does keep himself at a distance, but it’s not from some kind of arrogance or self-importance, but rather because he’s desperate to keep himself safe. He’s also only flirty when he’s intoxicated and it’s more reactive than pursuant.
87. What are some of your oc’s physical weak spots? What about emotional/moral ones?
Theo is weak to any kind of affection that’s all soft and sweet. He’s weak to being kissed, to being bitten, to fingers grazing behind his knees, to any kind of touch along his inner thighs. His skin gets sensitive when he’s touched and touched and touched. Emotionally, he’s weak to anger or violence. Morally, he’s weak to his own behaviors and can be unthinkingly cruel or hurtful without just cause. He’s weak to his parents.
88. Does your oc hold grudges? For how long? Does your oc have any rivals?
Theo will hold a grudge until his very last breath. He is very judgmental and forms all these little notions about people before they’ve even spoken a word to him… and then that influences every interaction they have with him afterward. So, you can be nice to Theo, but if he makes a snap judgment about you that’s unfavorable, then he’s going to blow you off. Is he wrong in the judgments he makes? Well… okay, so, not really? Theo is very good at reading people and there are very few times he’s wrong.
That said, Theo's grudges are only the petty, meaningless kind. When it comes to the people who really, truly deserve it, Theo is frustratingly forgiving. Or, not even forgiving, exactly, but rather... he just doesn't acknowledge the real wrongs that've been done to him.
89. What does your oc’s laugh sound like? How often do they laugh? Are they easily amused?
Oh, an angel’s choir. No, I’m kidding… kind of.
Theo’s laugh is very hard to come by because he doesn’t have very much to laugh about. He doesn’t even smile—like, really, truly smile—often. Theo’s pretty much stressed out and exhausted at all times. The only time he’s loosened up is when he’s using drugs to numb everything.
When Theo’s using, he smiles all lopsided and watery, but there’s no light behind his eyes. He’s put together all wrong, you know? He doesn’t really laugh, but he makes these quiet huffing noises when something’s funny to him, often a private joke he’s told himself in his own head.
When he’s sober and he laughs… it’s kind of devastating. The sound of his laugh is similar to his voice, all light and captivating, but there’s this quality to it… this unbridled feeling that Theo almost never shows… that catches everyone off guard. He laughs almost like a child, gasping with it and full-bodied. In that same way, Theo’s happiness and joy is clumsy and innocent. There’s no artifice to it, no rehearsed grace, nothing held back… he laughs until there’s tears in his eyes… and then he just starts crying.
90. Does your oc have any objects they could never give up? Why is it so important to them? Do they have any family heirlooms?
Theo’s deeply attached to his things so there’s a lot that he wouldn’t want to give up. If I had to pick just one object… hm… I think it’s a tie between his memory journal and the perfume his mother gave him when he was a teenager. His memory journal is what’s keeping him together at this point and he relies on it a lot. As for the perfume, it was a gift from his mother after he was accepted into Yale. He’d never be able to part with it (despite it not being to his taste) because it’s the only gift she’s ever given him. 
He’s not in possession of any family heirlooms, but if he were then he’d worry himself sick over them. He’d be terrified of something happening to them and being responsible for it. God… he’d be a mess.
91. What is your oc’s typical posture like? Do they slouch, or stand straight? How much space do they usually take up, both physically and figuratively?
Theo has a respectable upright posture and doesn’t slouch at all. If he’s around his family he’ll stand rigidly with his hands behind his back, holding onto one of his wrists as he listens to the conversations around him. On his own, he tries to keep his hands down at his sides but often finds himself moving to cross his arms over his chest. He doesn’t take up much space physically and keeps himself rather contained, but figuratively speaking… well… Theo has a compelling presence and in that way he’s felt all around the room.
92. What trait does your oc appreciate or admire the most in others? Why?
I think Theo admires when people can just… exist with ease. That freedom he sees in others makes him feel envious and he wishes he had that for himself.
93. What is your oc’s preferred learning style? Observation, hands-on, instruction? Do they take notes or memorize?
Theo prefers to learn via instruction and direction. He wants to be able to read each step carefully and then double back when he needs to. He takes a ton of notes as he uses repetition to help him learn, so oftentimes he’ll go back over his own notes and write them out again.
94. Does your oc rely more on a logical or emotional mindset? What situations would this be the opposite?
I’d say Theo’s more on the logical side than the emotional side… but the way in which he uses logic does stem from an emotional place, if that makes sense? Deep down Theo is scared and just wants to keep himself safe, so he leans on logic more than emotions as he feels that emotions make him weak. 
I think Theo’s walls come down in the face of genuine love and affection.
95. How is your oc about keeping someone else’s secret? Are they the gossiping type, or do they hold true on their promise to keep things quiet?
Theo’s someone who has a lot of secrets, so he’s very good at keeping them. I think he’d never want to break someone’s trust by gossiping. I mean, he also doesn't really have anyone he’d gossip to in the first place… still. He’d keep it to himself no matter what.
96. Describe your oc in three words. What three words would they use to describe themselves?
Oh, well… in order to describe him to others, I’d say Theo is reticent, touchy, and hungry at his core for something he hasn’t yet allowed himself to name (this isn’t one word, but you get it).
Theo has an unstable sense of self and has a very hard time understanding who he is, so when asked to describe himself he wouldn’t know what to say. Questions like this put him under a lot of stress… I think he’d dissociate just from being asked to try.
97. How old is your oc physically? How old are they in mental maturity? When are they most mature, and when are they the least?
Theo is in his early twenties (I don’t have an exact estimation for him, but somewhere between 21 at minimum and 24 at maximum). Mentally… there’s a lot of conflict and inconsistency there (intentionally done!). I’d say Theo is incredibly independent but he’s also financially reliant and emotionally dependent on his parents. He had to grow up at a very young age and in that sense he’s mature, but he also has a lot of childhood trauma and it’s definitely stunted him in some ways. I think Theo has… a very interesting mentality. He’s all over the place and he’s constantly at odds with his own self. There’s a lot going on with him at any given time. His mind is always racing. 
98. Is your oc the type to have a lot of fairly good friends, have a small group of close friends, have one or two best friends, or have no friends at all? Who are they closest to?
Theo refuses to let people get close to him and believes himself to be unworthy of even platonic love, so no… he doesn’t have any friends. Or, rather, Theo doesn’t have anyone he thinks are his friends. In actuality, Theo has four friends that he’s picked up from his time clubbing. He doesn’t see them unless they’re in a party setting, so that might be why Theo views them as being mere acquaintances and nothing more… he puts his nightlife into a little box and tucks that box away in his mind. 
99. What is your oc’s morning routine usually like? What do they eat for breakfast (if they have breakfast)? What time do they usually get up in the morning?
Theo wakes up and is kind of out of it for a few minutes. He lays in the bed and has to take stock of where he is first, because some mornings he finds himself in someone else’s bed. If he’s at someone else’s place, he’s dressed and out of there in under five minutes without so much as a goodbye. If he’s in his own home, he lays in bed for a while, staring without really seeing whatever’s in front of him. He gives himself those few minutes of peace and then he’s sluggishly pulling himself out of bed and getting ready for whatever’s on his schedule. He’s normally up by 7AM and doesn’t eat breakfast.
100. Does your character ever swear? How often? How vulgar is their swearing?
Theo swears occasionally but it’s not, like, in every sentence. He’s not particularly vulgar and instead just says the standard everyday swears. I think he says damn it under his breath more than anything.
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Hey🌸
Can you do headcanons where the captains have an so who's pretty but not that street smart.Like really cluleless sometimes?
Yami , Nozel and Dorothy
Hiya!
Of course, I hope that you like these ^^
Pairing: Yami x gn!reader, Nozel x gn!reader, & Dorothy x gn!reader (reader is described as pretty/beautiful) Fanfic type: Headcanons Genre: General/fluff Total length: ~0.6k
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Yami
Yami had bumped into you by chance in town on a couple of occasions, and he found it puzzling how you could be so… not street smart. Because a lot of things were common knowledge to him, but then he thought about how Noelle couldn’t even make a sandwich by herself when she moved into the base. So, perhaps it wasn’t that difficult to believe.
But it was intriguing, in a way, he thought. You had simply lived a very different life from him.
To him it was more important that you were kind and compassionate; you had a good heart. And he hoped that you wouldn’t be taken advantage of because of it. Which was why he begun feeling protective of you. Among other things. He hadn’t been sure about what precisely he had been feeling for you, but it was more than a sense of wanting to protect.
It seemed so long ago now, however.
Now, after you had moved in together, and were living as spouses, he found you kind, adorable, loving… well, a bit clueless, which is why he felt a stronger need to protect you than he might have otherwise.
But. You were a good person, and a loving partner to him. And that was all that mattered. Your looks was just a bonus; an icing on the cake.
Nozel
Nozel had always imagined that if he wound up married, it’d be an arranged marriage to some noble woman who’d be cold, educated, and distant. Not that he wanted to, but because his stead would require it. And not because he’d want someone distant in his life, he just thought it was the more common personality type among nobility.
What he hadn’t imagined, was falling in with someone who wasn’t… particularly… on top of things. He hadn’t imagined falling in love with someone who, he thought, could get scammed somewhat easily.
But you had something that, in the end, was more important than being learned. You cared for him. You were loving, caring, compassionate.
You were with him, for him. And that was something he didn’t think that he could ever have. Someone to love him, as who he was. No politics. No ‘because it was expected of him’. Just him, and you.
He loved you because of your other, more redeeming qualities. And to him you were beautiful, inside and out. Breath taking, through and through. Because sometimes you would say the most perfect thing to him, that made him feel better; no matter it might have been that was weighing his mind.
It was because of you that he smiled, and laughed.
Life with you, was much happier. And all it took, was you being there, with him.
You, were perfect. Just as you were.
Dorothy
She’s asleep most of the time, which is why she isn’t with whatever is going on as much as she could be. So, though she might be clueless for different reasons, she gets how it feels to not always be with everyone. And she also gets that it’s not always necessary.
She found you adorable, and cute. She found you kind, and caring. She found you to be a good person, who never failed to make her smile. You were like a ray of sunshine to her.
You were the reason why she wanted to stay awake more, because you were a dream com to life to her. There was no need to sleep as much as she had, because life had something better to offer her than any dream her mind could create.
Anyone could learn informational things, but being a kind, genuine person, was far more difficult to achieve; it was a kind of intelligence that only few could achieve.
She loved you; she was mesmerized by you. You were a dream that was real.
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secretgamergirl · 5 months
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How a Computer Works- Part 4 (Binary Math)
This is the 4th part in a series of posts explaining how computers work such that you can build your own from just wires and spare electronics (or hell, Minecraft redstone signals, a carefully balanced water fountain, anything you can build logic from really). The series starts in this post, the most recent entry before this was part 3, but the only REALLY required reading for this one should be part 2. Get that knowledge in your brain so this next bit can make sense to you.
Also, I'm basically teaching a pretty in-depth computer science class here for free out of the goodness of my heart, so if you have the cash to spare, maybe consider throwing a little money my way so I can keep surviving and doing stuff like this?
Our focus for today's lesson is going to be actually designing one of these modules we have hooked up to the bus to actually do stuff with any data we pass into it. As I've mentioned a few times, all of this stuff we're passing along can be thought of in a lot of different ways. Completing a circuit when one tracing wires out connects to a positive charge and another a negative means the same thing as a gate saying true, will turn a light tied in there on, we can call it a 1 in our abstract computery talk, or several other things, but we're dong math today so let's think about numbers.
Let's think in Binary
So I think I've referenced binary numbers a few times in a really hand-wavey sort of way, but it's good to stop and make sure we all get the concept thoroughly. Normally, when we think about numbers, we're using our good pals the Arabic numerals- 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9. We just decided to make unique little squiggles to represent these first ten numbers if we include 0, and then if we add together 9+1, we're out of symbols, so we start a new column, put a 1 in it, and reset to 0 in the one we're in. So, 9+1=10. We call this "base ten math" because ten is where we have to start that new column... but really, we kinda just picked ten out of a hat for this? Presumably it's because most of us have ten fingers.
Maybe if we all had hands like typical American cartoon characters, we'd only have made eight unique symbols. 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 and 7. Add 1 to 7 and we start a new column there instead of after coming up with symbols for those fingers we don't have. In base eight math, 7+1=10. It's a smaller group we're dedicating that next numeral over to, but you can see how that works, right?
Or hey, what if the first person to start counting stuff on their fingers just thought about it differently. You can totally hold up 0 fingers. So really on just one hand you can easily go 0 1 2 3 4 5. Well, what if we just use our other hand past there? Every time we run out of fingers on our right hand, we reset it to zero and add one on our left. It's base six math in this example but hey with just our hands we can display any number from 0 to a base six 55! Which in base ten would be, let's see, 5x6+5, so, yeah, any number from 0 to 35, but that's still pretty good. Converting it into base six is kind of a pain since you've gotta stop and do the multiplication, but if we all just kinda thought in base six we wouldn't need to convert at all.
And hey, what if we really thought big here? Instead of using one hand for the next column of numbers, we could just treat every finger as a column on its own. Holding some of the required groupings of fingers up can kinda give you a hand cramp, but hey we've got ten columns that can hold a 0 or a 1, so we can count all the way up from 0 to 1111111111! Or uh, in base ten, 1023. Still a really impressive number though! Just explaining this to you I've upped how how you can count on your fingers by more than a hundred times. You're welcome! Sorry about the hand cramps. We're not looking into binary math for the sake of saving fingers though, we're doing it because we're designing logic circuits and doing math on the assumption that the only symbols we have to count with are 0 and 1. Anyway, just so we're on the same page, let's count up from 0 in binary for a while here:
0, 1, 10, 11, 100, 101, 110, 111, 1000, 1001, 1010, 1011, 1100, 1101, 1111, 10000.
You can follow along with the pattern right? And if you're curious what that'd be all standard base 10 style, let's count through that same number of... numbers that way.
0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16. I made some of these bold to make it a little easier to count along. It's the ones where we're adding a new column in binary, and hey look, it's all the powers of 2. If you have to convert in your head, that makes it easier.
Binary Addition
So let's try thinking in JUST binary now and do some basic math. Before we get into the double-digits- Wait no, if we're pedantic, di- is the prefix for ten things so we shouldn't be saying "digits," we're in base two, so, bi- so... the double bits, I guess), we're just got:
0+0=0. 1+0=1. 0+1=1. 1+1=10
Hey, wait. does that pattern look familiar to you? Like we had to go to a second bit for 1+1, but just ignore that for a moment and look at the lowest one. Humor me. We saw this same pattern in part 2!
0 xor 0 outputs 0. 1 xor 0 outputs 1. 0 xor 1 outputs 1. 1 xor 1 outputs 0.
Oh damn. So if we want to add two bits of data, we just XOR them. All we have to worry about is the spill-over into the next column. Well.. hell, let's see what this looks like if we're looking at two columns here.
00+00=00. 01+00=01. 00+01=01. 01+01=10.
If we just look at the "1s column" digit, yeah, XOR works. And is there a pattern for the "10s column?" Well, it's a 0 for everything except when we go 1+1... we had a logic circuit for that too though, right? Yeah, good ol' AND. Only outputs 1 if both value A and value B it's looking at are both 1.
So OK. We rig up a circuit that has a XOR gate and an AND gate. We feed the first number we want to add into both of these gates, and we can display our answer as a two bit number, with what the AND spits out on the left, and the one the XOR spits out on the right. BAM. We are masters of addition... so long as the highest numbers we want to add together are 1+1. We uh... we should probably try to improve upon that. Also we've got this whole structure to the whole computer where we've got these registers feeding in and out of a bus with a fixed number of data bits on it, kinda would be nice if the number of bits going back out to our bus was the same as the number coming in to our addition circuit... and like, yeah, that's kind of an impossible goal since it's always possible when adding two numbers the same length that you need an extra column to display the answer, but you know, if the first bit of at least one of the numbers we're adding is a 0 it'll fit, so let's get to that point at least.
So OK. Let's expand things out. We're adding any 2 bit numbers now, and let's pretend we've got like a calculator with a 3 bit display.
000+000=000. 001+000=001. 000+001=001. 001+001=010.
010+000=010. 011+000=011. 010+001=011. 011+001=100.
000+010=010. 001+010=011. 000+011=011. 001+011=100.
010+010=100. 011+010=101. 010+011=101. 011+011=110.
I'm being kinda redundant with showing 0+1 and 1+0 and such. Let's narrow these down to just the ones we need a new bit of logic to make happen though. The 1s bit is groovy. We feed the 1s bits of ANY two numbers into a XOR gate, we get the correct 1s bit for our answer. And if the next bits over are 0s, we can pop what's coming out of our AND gate in there out to there and that's fine too. We're also good if we just look at the 10s column, everywhere we don't need to worry about the 1s column affecting it. The places where we need to do more with our logic are just where we're doing the whole "carry the 1 thing." I already set up the grid of all these so that's just the stuff in the far right column, but hey, let me bold those up too.
And let me just kinda blank out these other bits so we're really focused in on the part where there's a problem...
_0_+_0_=_1_. _1_+_0_=_0_. _0_+_1_=_0_. _1_+_1_=_1_.
Well huh. If we're just looking at a bit in the middle of our big long number, and we're carrying a 1 to that position, we sure seem to be getting the exact opposite of what we get when we aren't carrying anything in here. So OK, let's redesign our logic circuit here. We've got our bit A wire and our bit B wire coming in like we did before, going into that XOR for this output bit, but we need to add a wire for whether we're carrying a 1 in from the next circuit over, and if so, flip that result. Do we have a way to do that easily? Well OK, logic chart time. If we have a 0 and no carry, we want 0. I'm lazy, so, 0 bla 0=0, 1 bla 0=1, 0 bla 1= 1, 1 bla 1 = 0. Oh, that's another XOR gate. We XOR A and B like before, and then just XOR that result with our carry bit, and we are definitely displaying the right thing in this part of our answer. Now we just need to double check if our corner case of handling a carry messes with the next carry anywhere and... oh damn yeah.
011+001=100, and 001+011=100. These are the cases where the 1s column carrying a 1 to the 10s column means we have to do something different with that carry bit. So, we're still making our carry-the-1 result a 1 if A and B are 1... but we also need to make sure it's a 1 if we are both carrying something in, AND our original XOR gate is spitting a 1 out. Well we can throw that AND in there, and we can throw in an OR to check either of these two conditions, and there's our new and improved carry-the-1? result.
So let's put it all together now!
For a given bit, we have value A, value B, and Carry. We have a XOR gate that takes A and B in. We feed the result of that and Carry into another XOR gate. That spits out the sum for this bit. Then we AND the result of that first XOR and our Carry feed that result into one side of an OR gate. We feed A and B into a second AND gate, the result of that is the other input for our OR. That OR now spits out a fresh Carry bit. We can plug that into the next adder circuit down the line, for the next column to the left in our result. BAM, there we go. Just clone this whole weird set of 5 logic gates for as many bits as you want to deal with, daisy chain those carry values into each other, and congratulations. You have somehow rigged together something where electricity goes in, electricity goes out, and the weird path it has to take along the way has this weird side effect where you can work out what two binary numbers add up to. Please note again that we didn't at any point make some sort of magical computer person and teach it how to do math, we just found patterns in how electricity flows and where the pure math concept of logic gates and binary math happen to work the same way and exploited that for a result that's convenient to us. Shame that was such a pain wiring up, but hey, every time you add another copy of this onto the end, you double the range of numbers you're able to work with. Eventually that hits a point where it's worth the effort.
Well addition is all well and good, what about subtraction?
OK, so just to take stock, so far we have a big addressed block of memory somewhere we keep our numbers in. We have, for example, 8 bit lines on our bus, and when we want to do addition, we set stuff that turns on "hey, place with our first number, put it on the bus" then "hey register A, read the bus for a moment," then the same to get a number to slap in register B, and we've got this sum register sitting between registers A and B with a bunch of these adder circuits hooked in between all the bits. We might have some leftover carry line with a 1 on it and nowhere to plug it in, but ignoring that spill-over, every bit on our bus is to go good for addition. When we're setting up command codes, we can make more to do some other math with A and B and that's all well and good, but we have a real big problem when it comes to subtraction, because out of what's going into A, going into B, and coming out of sum, at least somewhere we're going to need to deal with the concept of negative numbers. So when we're doing subtraction, one line on our bus needs to be reserved for whether it's positive or negative. If you program, you're maybe familiar with the concept of unsigned integers vs. signed integers? This is that. With only positive numbers, if we've got say, 8 bits to work with, we've got a range of 00000000 to 11111111 to work with, or 0-255 in decimal, but if one of those is getting swiped for negative or positive, now we're talking like, -127-127.
But wait, that's not quite right, is it? Like if we arbitrarily say that leftmost digit is 1 if we're negative, we get things like, 1 being 00000001, 0 being 00000000, -2 being 10000010 etc. but... what's 10000000? -0? That's the same thing is 0. That's redundant and also gonna really screw the count up if we're like, adding 5 to -2! Or really, any other math we're doing.
Oh and we also need to remember when we're stuffing a negative number into a memory register, it's not like that register knows what concept the bits we're shoving into it represent, so like, you personally have to be responsible for remembering that that 1 on the leftmost line, for that particular value, is noting that it's negative, and not that the 10000000s place or whatever has a 1 for some number, or the first of 8 switch variables you're stashing in this address to save on space is on, or whatever else. We here at the memory address hotel are just trapping electron wiggles in a weird little latch or we aren't. No labels, no judgements.
So OK no matter how we're storing negative numbers we need to just actually remember or take notes some way on what the hell convention we're using to represent negative numbers, and where we're applying it. But we also need a convention where like, the math works, at all. Just having a bit be the is it negative bit works real bad because aside from having -0 in there, we're trying to count backwards from 0 and our math module has no conception of back. Or of counting for that matter. Or 0. It's just a circuit we made.
OK, so, let's maybe store our negative numbers in a different way. You know how a car has an odometer? Rolling numbers counting up how many miles you've gone? And there's a point where you run out of digits and it rolls back around to 0? Well funny thing about our addition thing is if you add a 1 to a display of all 1s, that also rolls back around to 0 (and has that carry value just hanging out in space unless we have a better idea of what to plug it into). So if we like, have all the numbers we can display printed out on paper, and we represent that rolling over by just rolling the paper up and taping it, so we have a bit where the count is going like: ..11111101, 11111110, 11111111, 00000000, 0000001... well we can just arbitrarily declare that all 0s is really 0, and the all 1s before it is -1, etc. Try to make that work maybe. And still remember that 10000000 or whatever is where we abruptly loop back between the highest positive/lowest negative numbers we're handling.
Here's a funny thing though. If we start counting backwards, we totally get this inverted version of what we get counting forwards. Just going to show this with 3 bits for convenience but going up from 000 you go:
000, 001, 010, 100, 101, 110... and going back from 111, you go
111, 110, 101, 100, 011, 010, 001... and yeah, look at that with a fixed with font, and it's all just flipped. And huh, you know what else is cool? If we go back to saying the first bit is 1 for negative numbers and a 0 for positive, you can just add these and it almost works. You want to subtract 1 from 1, that's the same as adding 1 and -1. Invert the negative, that's 001+110=111... 1 shy of the 000 we want. Huh.
What about 2-2? 010+101=111. 3-3? 011+100=111. Everything that should be 0 is 111, which is 1 less than 0 when we roll over. What about stuff that should be positive? 3-1? 011+110=(1)001. 2-1? 010+110=(1)000. 3-2? 011+101=000. Still all 1 off if we just ignore that carry going out of range.
-1-1? 110+110=(1)100, which translates back to -3... and that's kinda the only example I can give that's in range with this, but throw in more bits and follow this convention and it'll all keep working out that you get exactly 1 less than what you want, turns out. So, if we're in subtract mode, we just... invert something we're bringing in then add 1 to it and it should all work out?
So OK. We have a wire coming into math land from what mode are we in, it's a 1 if we're doing subtraction. We XOR that subtract line bit with every bit of what's coming into B, that does nothing if we're in addition mode, but if we're in subtraction mode, we're flipping every bit, and tada, the subtraction works without any other changes. We just need to conditionally add 1 if we're in subtract mode now but... wait, we already have literally that. We just take this same "we are in subtract mode" wire and run it in as a carry-in to the rightmost bit of our adder chain. Again, if we're doing addition, that just carries in a 0 and does nothing, but if we're in subtraction, it carries in a 1, and... we're done. The explanation was a long walk, but yeah, when subtracting, just add those extra XORs, plug in that carry, and remember your negative numbers are all weird in storage. Done.
Let's do multiplication and division next!
No. We can't do that.
Well seriously, that's not a thing we can just layer on top of this relatively simple thing we have wired up. We've got this lean mean math machine will give you whatever result you need basically the instant you load values into A and B. Definitely by the time you, being conscientious about not leaving the doors to the bus open all the time, officially flag things to write out from sum and into whatever destination. Multiplying and dividing though, we need more steps, and we need scratch spaces for temporary values. I suppose if you're careful you can multiply by like, loading 0 into B, load the first number you want to multiply into A, just feed sum directly into B, and pulse the clock however many times you want to multiply, but... you probably don't want to just constantly be reading and writing like that, it's tying the whole bus up, unless you have an alternate pathway just for this, and you have to keep count. Still, I'm assuming that's how people do it when they build a dedicated function in. I'm still looking at older systems which assume you're going to do most of your multiplication one step at a time, running through some code.
There's one big exception though. If you multiply any number by 10, you just add a 0 onto the end of the number... and guess what? I'm not using "10" specifically to mean "ten" here. Whatever base you're doing your math in, that still works. So in binary, if you just want to specifically multiply by 2, it is super easy to just shift every bit to the left. Like, have some sort of "shift left/multiply by 2" wire come in, set up logical conditions so that when its set, all we do is have the bit that we are feed into the carry flag, then for the sum ignore everything but the carry flag. 00011001 turns right into 00110010. I picked that out of a hat, but that's binary for 25 getting doubled to 50 as I eyeball it here. Dead simple to do as a single operation. Shifting everything to the right, AKA dividing by 2 is similarly simple... and hey, you might notice that in say... very old games, there's a whole lot of numbers doubling. Like ghosts in Pacman? Each is worth twice the points as the last? Yeah that's because that's easy to do fast.
Other math though takes more steps, and tends to involve extra hardware design to make it work. Like if you're doing division where you aren't guaranteed to have a whole number at the end, so, most division? Suddenly you need to have decimal points in all of this, and work out where they go, and this is why you hear people talk about "floating point processors" as this whole special thing that we just did not have for decades. For now at least, that's beyond the scope of what I'm teaching. Might get there eventually.
A final bit about bits...
So hey, we need to pick some arbitrary bit count for how wide we make our bus and our registers, and also some number for memory registers, command codes, maybe other stuff. And you just kinda want to pick a nice round number. You can't pick ten though, because ten isn't a round number in binary. It's 1010. So usually, we round down to 8, nice and simple, or we round up to 16. And then if we're like filling out charts of values, it's easier to count in those bases. Counting in base 8 is easy enough. 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 10. With base 16 though, we need 6 more symbols in there, so we go with 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 A B C D E F 10. And sometimes people make a point of making the B and D lowercase, because if you want to display those on the sort of 7-segment display you still see on cheap clocks or things going for an 80s look, B and 8 are too similar, and D and 0. Base 16 is also called hexidecimal. People will shorten that to "hex" and you see it a ton when people are looking at raw data and don't want to get thrown by long binary numbers, and it particularly gets out to the general public when we're talking about like, 8-bit color values. 8 bits gives you a number from 0-63, hey that's just 2 digits in base 16, so like, for HTML color codes, you can use 2 digits each for red green and blue values, and technical artists just kinda memorize stuff like "right so FFFFFF is white, 700080 is a pretty bright, slightly blue-ish purple, etc."
We tend to go with 8 bits in most places though, or some multiple of 8 anyway, and someone randomly decided to call 8 bits a byte, and that's kind of just our standardized unit for measuring data now. Well mostly standardize. Because people will say, like, 1 kilobyte is 1000 bytes, but in practice people actually round things off to binary values and they're going to actually be off a little.
Anyway, linguistic trivia! Whatever number of bits it is we store in a register/load to the bus is called a "word" and we talk about how many bits long our words are, because once you design the architecture, you're stuck with it and all. And sometimes you want to be space efficient and not use a whole word, so you do some logic gate trickier to chop off whatever portion you don't need when reading it and not change what parts you aren't trying to when writing it and just kinda store multiple variables in a single value. One common thing that happens as a result of this is that you'll break up an 8-bit value because you just want like two values from 0-15 instead of one from 0-255. And when we're working with one of those half-bytes, because puns, the actually term for that is "a nibble." No really. And if we're using a single bit for a variable a lot of the time we call that a flag. Common to see a byte used to hold 8 flags.
I have no clue what I'm going to cover in part 5 if/when I get to it. Input/output stuff? Better program counter design than what I've taught you enough to guess at? Maybe I should just wait and see if people have questions?
For now let me just point anyone following along with this at this first post of me talking about the game console I'm designing. That's a pretty similar topic to this one.
Let me also point you again at my patreon, too.
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anogete · 8 months
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Oh my goodness
Hello to anyone who remembers me. Real life and mental health both sank their claws into me. I've been avoiding social media because... well, many reasons but most because I feel like I'm a big ol' disappointment.
But today, I've come here like the humble whore I am to ask for a beta. Before you get excited, I have to warn you that it's not for Marvel, which (if you remember me) is what you likely know me for writing. Read on for an explanation about where the fuck I've been and what fandom I've spiraled down into lately.
In 2019-2020, I had a lot of grieving to do for some close loved ones who passed on. This led to a really shitty space for my mental health where I went into a functioning depression. I was doing things, but only the bare minimum required to exist without people catching on that I was in a bad mental space. I can't say I've completely kicked that, but I'm trying to do better. At the same time, I had a bunch of stuff going on a work. Specifically, I work for a team of advisors who provide financial planning services to individuals/families. I was promoted to an associate in 2020 and then we went through a merger with a larger firm in 2022. So, work has been crazy with me taking on additional responsibilities and working to build new processes after the merger. In addition, I managed to finish my bachelor's (20 years after I dropped out of college!) and take classes toward getting a CFP designation over the past 2 years. I'm scheduled to take the CFP exam in November. It's a 6-hour bear of a test covering pretty much all aspects of personal financial planning. And then next year I'll be continuing with my team as an advisor myself. Do I have anxiety? Fuck, yes. But I'm trying to stop cockblocking myself on the career front.
ANYWAY, enough with the boring stuff. I've been drowning in material for classes and studies with so little fun in my life. Somehow I got on CODTok (Call of Duty) and my little imagination ran wild as I watched these absolutely filthy edits of those boys. And for the first time in a long time, I felt that itch to write. I really should be focusing on studying for this exam, but all work and no play isn't fun. It's taken me 3 years to learn that lesson, but it has managed to finally sink into my thick skull.
My problem is that I know virtually nothing about Call of Duty because I don't like video games. As for the characters--I only know minimal info (mostly from YouTube videos and a COD wiki). It would be nice to have someone more knowledgeable than me to look over what I've written. And if not that, then it would be nice to have anyone other than me give it a beta read to point out my stupid mistakes or plot holes. I have about 16 pages of a Ghost/OFC written. It's my usual--heavy on the dialogue and sexual tension with a side of plot/action. I don't know how fast I'll be at writing this. Work is kicking my ass and I still need to dedicate my weekends to studying for this test. But if you're willing to take a little ride with me, I'd love some input. Send me a message or email me at [email protected] if you're interested. I miss and love ya'll.
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non post here just collecting current thoughts abt the [what's up with atlas' death and the unlikely connection of mitzi and mordecai through some shared secret relating to it] mystery specifically
firstly i'm tending to presume that mordecai did just shoot atlas; he definitely knows that mitzi did Not, "she didn't shoot anyone"....which also i suppose does not necessarily mean that mitzi didn't kill him. it's possible she did, or mordecai did, or someone else did, and by some non [noscoped by mordecai] method, but that mordecai and mitzi then coordinated in covering up how he actually died by, say, quickly staging some kind of other scene, including shooting him while he had only recently died. but really the mystery here is like, what exactly would these two feel so aligned in cause about. doesn't seem like, say, mitzi could've just paid mordecai to take atlas out, b/c mordecai would either not want to do it Or he actually would, in which case why not do it himself, and earlier, since he was at lackadaisy for surely the better part of a decade. it could've been like "with our combined talents imagine how nearly competent we could be" with mitzi having some kind of key knowledge to plan this heist (murder) or something. but it would still require an Alignment between them of wanting him dead Now, and, y'know, why
their particular similarities that we know of, imo, are that they're probably about the same age (supposing mitzi's around thirty / early thirties) and that they're sort of especially Materially Beholden to atlas and more directly, individually collected by him (versus, say, zib saying he's a collected stray because he'd stay around if mitzi did. he's also a saxophonist which is lower stakes than your new wife or your new guy to kill other guys)....neither mitzi nor mordecai seem to posthumously dislike atlas, but naturally mordecai's barely indirectly commented and it seems to me like mitzi regards atlas fairly symbolically, as the potential for her situation to improve, or at least be as good as it was during lackadaisy's heyday. she may have affection for him abstractly, and we also know via mordecai that the marriage was distant enough before atlas died that mitzi didn't live with him and things had Visibly Deteriorated. it sure seems plausible that mitzi might kill him to inherit things, and turned to mordecai for his expertise in a) doing that & b) perchance making it look like an accident / covering things up, but he evidently didn't want to stay on at lackadaisy No Matter What, i.e. if mitzi was running it instead, and why agree to this, it seems very unlikely he'd do anything just for mitzi's sake or the sake of being paid to do it by her, he has to have his own motivation. and it's possible that, despite plausible positive feelings about atlas still (who did also like, throw him right into mortal perilously dangerous work w/little experience lol, mordecai happening to be immediately good at it or not) he could've, like mitzi could've, still wanted to be less beholden to this one particular person, and achieved that by just killing him lol....but even if their feelings Aligned on that matter, there's a few wrenches, like a) how would they realize this alignment. they're probably not having heart-to-hearts. they're both very close to atlas (at least professionally, for mordecai) and it would be very bold to go "would you happen to wanna kill this guy too" either to his wife or his right hand gun hand hook car door man.
there's also the fact that: viktor is Also someone very limited by his being beholden to atlas, pretty much positioned as close to atlas as mordecai since they were partners, and maybe has the added bonus of seeming marginally more Approachable than mordecai, plus that like, being thirteen years older and beat up on more, maybe if you were looking for an accomplice you'd figure that "idk do you want to retire" would also make him marginally more likely to get aboard murder plans if you're just trying to Find someone to help with that who you don't know would already want to. but he also disagrees with the idea that mitzi is particularly vulnerable / isn't herself at least somewhat dangerous, which seems like something he Might have any knowledge about beyond "idk i just get that vibe," like, did he get to be privy at all to whatever went down there. &/or led up to it.
what seems to be implied here, and makes more sense, is that there was some specific event that both mitzi and mordecai consider to have been unfortunate / undesired / things going wrong, and that involves mitzi enough for mordecai to blame her / her to refer to it being her fault, although she may not necessarily agree. (and does "perhaps i will / not to discount your culpability" imply mordecai Also considering himself culpable. whether that goes beyond "if anyone actually shot him, it's mordecai")
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but while maybe there's not much love lost between these two, neither seems to like completely hate the other. civil enough one-on-one here, does seem like mordecai would be negatively affected if viktor had died, "very little interest in defending her" is not "no interest" nor "less than no interest and one can imagine mordecai is being both precise and accurate about what he means, and to exit this car chat by advising mitzi fix the conspicuous bulletholes is, in fact, helpful; he's probably not actually interested in / intending to personally dismantle lackadaisy or anything, and makes sense if mitzi's lashing out just a bit while they discuss sore topics (again, seems neither of them Wanted to have to kill atlas either, so what was the specific impetus....) and also they did just have Lackadaisy's Big Night involving foes that have guns while they (almost entirely) don't, thanks to mordecai's transference of those....which, like, did he just do that himself, or was it on order from marigold....either way, seems more like a nudge like Retire Bitch to everyone there, rather than an effort to sabotage them That perilously
there's also this compelling material
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not interpreting Bonus Material as the strictest of canon, in some cases more obviously [not at all] than others, ft. generally more of a light tone / elevated humorousness....but also the not obviously complete jokes ones perhaps not Not canon contradictory, either. a) i want to see the shopping trip and b) fascinating how they are outright discussing that mutual Material Beholdenness to atlas. but a couple of other points arising
one being that i was racking my brain like "whaaaat are the usual Murder Mystery Motives" and then landing on "money" wherein like, besides the theory of "what if mitzi just wanted to inherit lackadaisy, while still Actually Married to atlas despite that maybe circling a drain / maybe atlas, being warned about something by asa, was going to get rid of lackadaisy from his inheritable estate," it also occurred to me like, mordecai originally got in hot water as a bookkeeper, which leads me to presume that he may have been embezzling (though maybe he was the fall guy for someone else's embezzlement, or maybe even some third or fourth things, not even involving embezzlement at all) which, if he was, was presumably for his family, whom he left money for (though he also maybe had to skip town too quickly to retrieve it anyways). and there we see that mordecai may have also been bookkeeping for lackadaisy, too, which i'm going to interpret as perfectly canon backstory. i guess this isn't exactly so different from previously mentioned ideas/elements like "both of these two are aware how beholden they are to this one specific guy, and would like to be less so (through embezzling??)" and "this could be about mitzi wanting to inherit lackadaisy much sooner than later (or not at all)" like, still wanting more of some resource atlas has sooner than later (or not at all....see questions of how much mitzi could have been legally considered to Directly possess while atlas was alive, such as, money) with the same kinds of questions raised of like, how would they realize they aligned on this. there's also a question of like, Would mordecai be moved to elevate the flow of funds here versus just whatever he's already paid, though he'd (maybe) already done that in that original bookkeeping gig for whatever reason. but that may have been more time sensitive and motivating if it was indeed at least in part for his family. which i suppose it could still be Now w/the theory of him just turning around and doing that again. wherein i suppose the idea here is just that they're both in on it, and maybe atlas finding out about it / suspecting too much is such a potential impetus like, whoops, well let's kill him :/ hypothetical 2 for 2 lack of embezzling stealth lol
the other more tangential idea here is just that like, well who knows, maybe mitzi and mordecai Did talk / have tête-à-têtes / an unlikely friendship or friendly acquaintanceship going....again that like, even as professional mostly enemies now and with no especial warmth evident between them, they also don't seem to hate each other even though they Could, even when it comes to this secret re: atlas's death that they're both unhappy with....a lot of writing this stuff out is just how it helps get ideas together lol and not lose entire threads / have derailed trains of thought. like maybe mordecai Would do something mostly for mitzi's sake, if evidently at all begrudgingly. and i suppose the other way round could be considered, i.e. if mitzi would begrudgingly commit to helping kill atlas for mordecai's sake, which still seems the less likely arrangement
oh wait Also i sort of rotated freckle & mordecai juxtaposition, as not being entirely dissimilar, see for one: their having the ideal time the one occasion they were in the same place, that is, completely declining to interact with each other at all lol....but i'm presuming the Mystery of freckle's secrets & backstory are a bit less deep than this more central atlas murder secret, and my interpreguess is that freckle accidentally(? probably.) killed someone(? or almost did. or whatever.) probably his dad(? family tragedies....his hat is still on the premises....) and rocky took the blame, which i'm guessing is out of just being the effective older sibling / pretty close. so i was just half wondering like, well what if mordecai killed someone too rather than being in shit over embezzling. maybe! and how this ties in is that i'm also considering, like, maybe any of this has to do with that Past that mordecai has. the arbogasts were saying atlas Settled Some Of mordecai's pursuing grievances....maybe Lackadaisy Embezzling could be about settling even more via financial payoffs. or something. just a potential troublesome loose thread
there's also the Mystery of "what's marigold bothered about. is what's changed there being this lawful prohibition agent you can't pay off and could somehow shut marigold down longer than ten minutes. and who's in charge of marigold" which is relevant b/c the mystery to me is that, where we leave off in the comic, mordecai is Very Motivated by "how does it figure in re: atlas's death" still and at this risktaking crossroads about it wherein he's clearly positioned at odds with marigold. what are the important things called into question. if marigold knew how atlas died, what would they even do about it. is the problem "well mordecai how do i know you won't also shoot Me, the mystery owner of marigold," seems like something he could expect to be more directly confronted about rather than [what, if marigold knows more about atlas's death and is Just displeased with mordecai about it, they're gonna either Not say anything about it or just try to get rid of mordecai by giving him this hands-on work where he Might be killed?] like, just kill him, And the fact we know the prohibition agent drago Was planning to meet with gracie grombach (and his lawyer, presumably the guy mordecai hatcheted to death just the other night at the start of things) for real, so there's actual reasons to assign him these killings....seems like it's more about things Missing to us as readers about Why they felt they had to begrudgingly kill atlas, what their further mystery connection is / what that impetus was....
oh and back to that [very tangential] tangent re: how i wouldn't have figured mordecai and mitzi interacted much But Maybe They Did, i also before now was assuming that, at least b/c mordecai's business was either in the most dangerous &/or most mathematical work at lackadaisy, he wouldn't have interacted much with ivy, who would've been all of around ten or so when he started there. the pilot specifically illustrates the results of his history with lackadaisy by having him entirely refrain from taking the shot when aiming at her, which i'm also sort of [bonus material]esquely interpreting as "not comic canon noncompliant," but at first i was like, well, like how viktor is protective of ivy / playing concerned patriarch as she puts it, and we know he has a daughter maybe around her age, we also know (from bonus material) that mordecai has younger sisters, including one feasibly also around ivy's age. or just that if you've known someone since they were like 9 or something, you're still reluctant to shoot them. but now i'm Noting that a) most everyone else who's been around awhile, mitzi, viktor, even rocky, has commented on mordecai, but ivy hasn't, which may be a bit Mysterious, and b) in her nightmare sequence moment, she sure not only has this Concept of him, but interacts with him in the dream
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which might not mean anything really, but sure might imply she'd talked to him readily enough before, and does also serve as a bolstering / reminder of the idea they'd have interacted, especially since there's the entire factor of "if she was interacting with viktor, this would probably involve all the more mordecai adjacency" like well, interesting, noted, etc
oh and it has to also be mentioned how i'm supposing that also what the savoys are saying about mordecai and atlas, via indirectly framing it by discussing how maître carrefour Already Knows mordecai, can be taken as accurate / is not going to be contradicted. so there's how mordecai seems to resent being called the kind that turns on his partners on a dime (while the savoys Probably had a more uncomplicated departure from their earlier associations. though maybe if marigold knows mordecai was involved in atlas's death, he's Also been hired rather than having been shot, in a stroke of generosity)....and then there's the very broadly relevant description of how, once you take that one path laid out for you, you're Obliged To Him Only, Always, the other paths gone forever....the way pretty much everyone involved was in a place with especial vulnerabilities and limited options at the start, and taking one available path left them kind of trapped there / unwilling to get off of it b/c otherwise they're lost again. what might have motivated a couple of people to snuff out their would-be guiding light, when it's not as though they now act as though they'd clearly found some better one....there's also the fact that serafine characterizes their diable as having a hot temper, wonder if that application could be overlapped with atlas too....and it just handily circles around for rooting for this dream team w/mordecai & the savoys; whether the latter anticipate Not sticking around with marigold forever; the fact that it would be quite a surprise if they do assume that for the first time mordecai is, in fact, just having fun tonight; that mordecai sure may be lost in the dark in-between crossroads rn. rooting for them to stay friends no matter what one way or another. mordecai's as much of a wild card as anyone at this juncture really, keep being wild cards together
meanwhile mordecai not knowing what's going on but laying out some of the confusion is helpful but like, well then we definitely are confused too
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i'll say too....really i have to imagine that there Is some bigger missing piece in the [Why] of mitzi & mordecai's murder secret that one could only guess at at best, but i think of this as an effort to kind of feel out the shape of What's Missing thusly, figuratively. and this has been an extensive "i dunno" without any epiphanies falling into place along the way but hey lol, laying it out....if marigold already knows about the How atlas died, namely, if mordecai specifically carried it out, you'd think that if nothing's come of that already, he's fine. or maybe he just wants to Know anyways, though it seems as or more risky to Not kill a guy he's supposed to as marigold's professional killer....he says he's not sure if he knows important Things he thought he knew, plural, unsurprising if there's more than one such important thing we definitely don't know, but suspecting that his concerns might have to do with the big mystery Why they killed atlas, which might also align with how mordecai's reacting to asa saying he warned atlas of [something/s] before his death, which sure doesn't otherwise necessarily imply he knows anything about the death itself. and then mitzi, who should also be in the know, is still asking "how does it figure in" re: connecting his death & if asa Did warn atlas of something....i sure don't know either, and you two have so much more info lol
and Does rushing water count as a clue? cue me trying to zoom in on an illustration to see if the silhouette of a figure reflected in mordecai's glasses could be atlas (don't think it was, or that it'd be a Key Clue dropped thusly anyways) like hell i dunno yeah maybe the rivers are relevant somehow in secret ways, that'd fit, but again only guesses. oh and hey, why would mitzi and mordecai have any kind of gun handoff? maybe as like, a burner revolver lol. i always end up going Shruggg at mysteries but i am enriched by rotating them anyways, especially when it's so tied to character here, and when they're not the only thing relevant to ongoing story so it's just intriguing rather than simply frustrating / stifling to not have already solved them / not the only point of interest. e.g. who Knows why mordecai's having his off the shits saturday but it's so fun that he is. good for him (ultimately) (probably) (hopefully)
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heretichromia · 8 months
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A (mediocre) defense of Shining and Hoshiguma.
Narrow use cases in the advanced metagame don't equate to low power.
I think we sometimes forget the purpose of tier lists, and the kind of people who most need them. Especially in a game like Arknights, where "best in slot" is an extremely loaded question compared to most other games, it's hard to really properly convey unit power.
That isn't to say that tier lists aren't helpful. There is a significant difference between the power levels of characters like Młynar and Ebenholz, and people who don't want to (or don't have the game knowledge required to) read and compare kits and try to navigate the mess that is showcase videos (which are typically not good demonstrations of an operator's utility) get pretty good information from a website generally telling them "build Pozyomka if you want a good sniper" and "don't build Vigil if you want a good vanguard."
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...But come the fuck on, man. I promise this isn't just a Gamepress rant. This is a community perception issue. Gamepress's tier list is just an illustrative example of how bad the community at large is at evaluating anything but the absolute top tier of obvious meta threat.
If you're not seeing the problem with the above, then consider this: what unit would actually be best for the kind of person who needs a tier list to build?
The tankiest non-limited operator in the game, perfectly serviceable for almost every map with good performance, who still sees routine usage in many high-difficulty maps and even the occasional Contingency Contract?
One of two units that are mediocre blockers, are significantly squishier, and have extremely few optimal use cases outside of dedicated Contingency Contract strategies that aren't realistically applicable to normal gameplay?
Why on earth is Hoshiguma ranked below Liskarm and Blemishine? Why is Hoshiguma in roughly the same tier as Croissant and Bubble? Why is Shining rated just above two units that are pretty much never used?
I feel like this is the sort of thing that happens when you let Reddit-brained "analysis" get to your head, and you forget how to evaluate units entirely. This isn't even the new player tier list! It's supposedly for endgame, trying to evaluate operators "for all game modes."
I hope they're not trying to include Contingency Contract in there, where Liskarm and especially Blemishine are in fact extremely valuable, because CC is a game mode where Cliffheart is considerably more impactful than Thorns. You just can't take into account CC in a tier list like this without having the list make no sense at all.
None of this means that these units aren't...dated, or that they don't have problems in the modern game. They are, and they do. But this is a pretty poor way of reflecting that. I could see an argument that neither of them belong in any sort of S-tier, even on Gamepress's dumb list where there's four separate grades above A+. But...if that's the case, then we still need to be honest about where the alternatives fall, because the problem with Shining and Hoshiguma isn't that they're bad at their jobs.
———
What are they good at?
If you understand their kits, just skip this section. That said, so many people don't. I see people talking about how Sussurro does Shining's job better than her all the time, which is true if you're only looking at raw healing numbers and not actual damage mitigation.
...Tanking. Specifically, physical tanking, though Hoshiguma's large HP pool means she's pretty decent at absorbing Arts damage too (just not as well as someone like Saria with built-in RES).
Hoshiguma has a big slab of DEF, the highest persistent value on any operator. She's good at standing there, taking damage, and reflecting damage back to enemies that hit her. That last bit is why she sees continued high-end usage today. While she can get almost 2,350 DEF with her S1 (the highest possible DEF in the game attainable by a single character, if I'm not mistaken), she's mostly used for her S2's reflect, where she can still get nearly 1,700 DEF (Mod-Y). That, combined with her 25% chance to just...completely ignore damage means she is a hilariously tanky unit compared to her competition.
If what you're looking for is someone who can stare down as much physical damage as possible and live to tell the tale, Hoshiguma is going to be one of your best options, if not your best.
Shining, meanwhile, is the best single-target ground unit healer in the game. While her effectiveness spikes when healing high-DEF targets like Saria, Hoshiguma, etc., she's simply good and effective in all scenarios where she's healing ground units taking a sufficient amount of physical damage. I've done...an embarrassing amount of math for this subject, so if any of this is wrong, I'll cry (but also please let me know).
Here's the conclusions:
With her Mod-X, Shining S2 will more or less always outpace the best-in-slot persistent healing (Lumen) in actual total mitigation, even on relatively low-DEF units.
On high-DEF units (Saria, Nian, Hoshiguma), Shining S2 can outpace Sussurro S2 in effective mitigation—on a persistent uptime skill.
Shining S2 loses a lot of value if Shining has to heal anyone but the main tank, because she could waste her shield on someone else. This can be effectively mitigated in most circumstances by proper unit placement, or drawing fire with fast-redeploys, Nightingale cages, etc., but it's something to keep in mind.
Shining S3 is completely incomparable to anything else in the game. Nothing comes remotely close when it comes to mitigating incoming physical damage.
Shining is far and away the best unit in her class at her job. Again, nobody comes remotely close.
———
But, yes, they do have one big issue.
...This is pretty obvious, but physical tanking isn't the premium role it used to be.
It is not useless, and for many players represents a much simpler strategy to dealing with several powerful enemies than the "canonical" strategies you'll find in video guides. It's also an almost universal utility. Surviving physical damage is something you have to do in almost every map, so bringing someone like Hoshiguma who's good at doing that is never bad. At worst, there's a small number of better options, like Saria, who can in many cases reduce Hoshiguma + Medic to a single unit, but...I don't really think we should be implying that a unit is barely better than a vanilla 4* because they're sometimes (and not always!) outshone by one of the most powerful operators in the game that not everyone is guaranteed to have.
...But I do have to emphasize that the role isn't premium anymore.
A sizable handful of modern bosses these days have ways of getting around walls. And they should. It'd be very boring if the best strategy to every encounter was to wall up and watch the enemy bash its head against your units until it dies. But between all the methods of crowd control, debuffs, teleporting, or simply walking through your operators that bosses are doing these days, you'll find that there's frequently better tools for the job than getting a really tanky guy.
Some frequently used options:
Bursting the motherfucker to high heaven before they can ever touch your operators or the blue box.
Straight-up immortality, a la Specter or Specter the Unchained.
Utilizing crowd control, be it through outright stuns, Suzuran slows, Gnosis freezes, various sources of bind (Gladiia, Rosa, etc.), or even shifting from Weedy on low-weight bosses.
We have such expansive toolkits at our disposal nowadays that we don't need to rely on operators who are "just" good. Hoshiguma and Shining are very good operators at their jobs! Their jobs are just sometimes not the best fit for any scenario, and in many cases, the worse options will still suffice, while bringing something more to the table. If you can get by with Saria + Ptilopsis, why wouldn't you opt for the higher SP generation? If Mudrock works and you don't need a healer at all, why substitute one operator for two that do considerably less damage? This won't be true all the time, especially since enemy stats have been on a steady increase—even my level 90, Mod-Y, S1M3 Saria isn't enough sometimes. Still, tankiness is definitely something that, if it's in excess, just...goes to waste.
But...
...why are we evaluating operators under the assumption that everyone has every other operator at their disposal? Yes—if you have literally every operator in the game, and can use them proficiently, then you're likely only going to use Hoshiguma when you need her reflect. If you have Saria, then you're likely to use Hoshiguma only sometimes as opposed to almost every map.
I feel like we fall into this trap really often. If a unit isn't the absolute best in every circumstance or doesn't do something hilariously overpowered they're unplayably awful, on the same level as 4*s, and shouldn't be built. Yeah, of course, you shouldn't prioritize getting E2 Hoshiguma if you're sitting on E1 Thorns, Pozyomka, or some first-rate DPS unit, but you cannot look at Hoshiguma's numbers, then look me in the eye and tell me she's a marginal improvement at best over fucking Bubble.
It's a problem that's worse with lower rarity units, especially 5* units, as the current memetic thought is that 5*s are barely better than 4*s, despite that being demonstrably untrue in many circumstances. (Can I blame SUPAH for that?) That said, I wanted to focus on Hoshiguma and Shining here, because they're victims of the same thinking that are actually still optimal in some situations, with no one who does their job better than them.
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rottenraccoons · 1 year
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hi sorry if this is to much to ask but do you have any tips or resources for someone wanting to make a VN without any prior experience? - when it comes to artwork at the very least I can deliver but Idk how much coding id need to learn/is required for VN - thankyou
I (Violet) personally love answering these kinds of questions so do not apologise! I think making games is amazing and will always encourage people to try it out! I'll put everything under a readmore because this got a little long, whoops.
Coding is often the bit about making games that scares people the most so I'm going to focus on that. The good news is that when it comes to visual novels most engines come in two flavours: no coding skills needed to start, or it will teach you all the basics you need to know to start.
How much coding you'll need to learn depends on the engine you want to work with. There are engines like TyranoBuilder that will enable you to make a game without needing to do any coding or scripting. I personally bounced off of it so I can't say much for how it is to use, and it costs a bit of money up front. But it's a valid option! I've played games built in Tyrano and they're fun!
Our team uses Ren'py, which is slightly more difficult to pick up and use but free and very flexible. I have seen Tetris made playable in Ren'py. The benefit to Ren'py is that it is very popular and that means there are a lot of resources available to help you get started. Ren'py comes packaged with a basic game called The Question that you can play, and then look at the code to see how it works and I would genuinely recommend just doing that. There are a lot of additional great resources for Ren'py that I use frequently, too: there's a pretty good YouTube channel about making visual novels (yes all his thumbnails are annoying but the content is great), the Lemmasoft forums are an amazing repository of knowledge and if you google how to do something in Ren'py this is probably the website that will show up first, and there's an official Discord server where experienced users can help out.
If you wanna start making visual novels, here's my advice: pick an engine to play with (I stan Ren'py, obviously, but any engine that works is a good engine), go grab some free assets to play with off Itch.io, and start tooling around. Make a scene where two characters enter, one tells a bad joke, and the other leaves. Do a short dialogue tree. Give yourself a very simple goal and fool around for an hour or two and see what you make. If you need code, copy and paste and edit code from a tutorial. Just give yourself a a simple goal and keep it short, so it's easier to experiment with.
And hey, I'll let you in on a secret: I'm the main programmer for the Rotten Raccoons and I'm not very good at programming. I only just learned we're doing some stuff in a way harder way than is necessary, and I google for answers constantly. I have huge admiration for programmers who actually know what they're doing. But a lot of game engines are built so that people like us, who learn to code just to make the game go brrr, can still participate in making games.
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Hello!! I saw you were doing match ups and that's so cool! I was hoping to participate if that's okay! Could I possibly get both male and female matchup? No poly please !
I'm nonbinary but i am physically fem, 5'5, with a bright red mullet that's like sorta grown out? Soft looking. My fashion sense tends to vary depending on my mood. Goth one day, cottagecore the next type of thing. One thing that's always a constant is my spiky earrings, kinda like the Fangs preset from the game! Necklace and my two bracelets. If I ever take them off I feel disgusting and off
Positive personality traits wise, I'm caring and selfless. I tend to be pretty cheerful and optimistic, goofing off. I think I'm smart? The most basic things tend to confuse me but then I'll bust out some complex knowledge lmao. I'm pretty creative too! I create stuff out of basically trash lol. I made a whole shield and sword sheath from recycled cardboard once.
Negative traits wise, I'm overly selfless, tending to put others before me. I'm very forgetful but thats cause of adhd. I can be messy and far too loud. Oblivious to a lot of things. I'm a big scaredy cat too which makes it hard to enjoy some stuff. I also tend to hide my negative emotions
My love language is definitely quality time and gift giving. Heavy on gift giving.
I have all kinds of hobbies but I'm not particularly good at any of them. Like video games, writing, arts and crafts, painting. And active stuff too like skateboarding. But uh. To be completely honest my main hobby is just sleeping forever lmfao
Likes: savory foods, coffee, aesthetic stuff, all kinds of animals, dressing up, reading, anything adrenaline inducing like rollercoasters, rainstorms
Dislikes: i cant eat any kind of fish/seafood I will gag, spiders, snakes, being vulnerable, people being mean (I seriously don't understand how people can be mean), the dark especially if I'm alone
Thank you so much! I hope that wasn't too much- or that I missed any requirements lol. Have a great week!!
A/N: Okay, for you @lord-westley … I’m thinking for romantic matchups your best bets would be… Gale (Male) and Karlach (Female)! 
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Gale is a great match for you, as he’s quite similar personality wise. He’s kind and selfless; smart but also somehow clueless? He’s got a good spirit, and an old soul. He wants someone he can share his life with, and thinks you’re just the person to do that with. 
He thinks you look fierce, for real, he’s almost intimidated by how good you look, especially your hair. It’s bright and bold and something he’d never have the courage to try. It suits you, and it makes him feel all the more special for being with you. 
His style is fairly consistent, and he’s not the most fashion savvy, but he does appreciate a good look when he sees one. Be prepared for a bunch of horrible puns, and awkward attempts at flirtatious compliments. He wants to tell you how much he loves your look, it’s just that it comes off wrong more often than not. Please don’t be mistaken- he really does think you look great. It’s just that loving words aren't his strong suit. 
He loves how caring and selfless you are. He quite admires your capacity for compassion. He likes to think of himself as selfless, but he’s also aware that’s not the truth. But for you, it is. And he’s so honored someone as pure and kind hearted as you would choose him as your partner. 
He’s also very grateful you’re smart. At least, that you’re smart enough to sort of get some of what he says about magic. He has a tendency to infodump, and he really likes it when you make comments or ask questions that let him know you’re listening. And your creativity, good heavens! He’s so impressed. He thought as a wizard, he’d be able to think outside of the box, but his imagination is no match for yours. Thanks to your builds and use of garbage, he’s starting to rethink the way he goes about spell casting and brewing potions. Your perspectives are actually helping make him a better wizard. 
He does worry that you’re too selfless, though. He’s been used by powerful beings before, and he’d hate to see you get hurt similarly. If he thinks someone is taking advantage of your kindness, he won’t hesitate to bring it up to you. He just wants you to know your time and effort has value, and it should never be taken for granted. 
He’s understanding when it comes to your fear. He thinks it's rather healthy to be afraid, especially of death. It shows you have a lust and respect for life. He’s glad you understand the enormity of what it means to live, because he wants you to protect your life so that the two of you can grow old and gray together. 
He will give you gifts! A lot of them are favors done via spells, but a good amount of them are physical presents. (Many of which may have previously been magic items that have since had their magic drained, but hey! It’s the thought that counts, right?!)
He loves savory foods! He can’t wait to show you his extensive wine cellar and kitchen in his tower in Waterdeep, and feed you his especially _ sauce. It’s full of flavor, it’ll knock your socks right off! 
He may not be a huge fan of adrenaline inducing activities: he much prefers the safe mental exercise of a good book. But he will join you on occasion, so long as you promise him it’s mostly safe. (He may or may not ask Shadowheart to cast Guidance on the two of you before you leave, but then again, he’s just covering his bases!)
Thanks to his arcane knowledge, you’ll never be in the dark. He can conjure light to ensure you’re not afraid. And he vows to always be by your side, so long as you’ll have him, protecting you, just as you protect him. 
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Karlach is also a great match for you! She’s a very upbeat person, and she loves your loud and creative energy, it makes her feel like you can keep up with her and match her own outgoing personality. 
She loves your style, especially the bright red hair. That is her color after all. And she’s obsessed with all the new looks you combine and create. Everyday she’s basically shouting at the other members of your party, ‘Come look at how hot/cute my partner looks!’. It’s a bit over the top and embarrassing at first, but she means it in the best, most sincere way. If you ask her to stop, she’ll stop. But otherwise, be prepared for compliments, like ALL of the time. 
She loves goofing off with you, pulling pranks and just having a little fun in between missions. She’s a firm believer in taking breaks- it keeps you sane. She’s fairly intelligent too, I mean, she’s not a scholar or anything, but she’s got a good head on her shoulders and so do you. 
She thinks it’s incredible how you can make something totally new out of garbage, or old unwanted scraps. It’s both your resourcefulness and creativity she finds impressive. 
She has no problems with your being messy or loud, even if other people might. If they have an issue with it, she’ll join in, and make it a point to be messier and louder than you. And if anyone still has a problem, she’ll take care of it for you. She’s a big strong woman, and she understands how scary confirmation can be. She does her best to make the world around you a little less frightening. 
Kalrach strikes me as someone who would enjoy doing almost any hobby outside of being forced to fight. I mean, she also really loves a good battle, but she’s down for basically whatever. She’s so ready to try everything- to make up for all the time she missed down in Avernus. She’ll do anything or go anywhere with you. She’s especially excited for any adrenaline inducing activities. As a Barbarian, she is 100% there. No questions asked. Also the idea of skateboarding blows her mind. (Pretty sure that doesn’t exactly translate to DND, but if there was anyway in Faerun willing to ride a board with little wheels up and down steep hills or ramps, she’d be your girl.) 
Even though she’s adventurous, she’s also cool with just chilling- taking some time to enjoy your company. She thinks you’re adorable when you sleep, and can’t help but want to take naps with you, so long as her engine is fixed enough, and you don’t mind being warm. 
She’s fine with you not eating seafood, it’s not that big of a deal to her. You like what you like, right? And she gets that spiders can be pretty creepy- especially the ones in the Underdark. She promises to never make you visit there, and should any of those creatures try and get you topside, don’t worry, she won't let them lay a hand on you. 
Despite being a fierce fighter, she’s got a heart of gold. She hates bullies, and people who abuse others. She knows what it’s like to be on the receiving end of that, and it feels awful. She’d never want you to feel that way. So gods help anyone in Baldur’s Gate who tries and bullies you for whatever reason. They’ve just got themselves a _ tiefling to answer to. 
Karalch thinks you’re wonderful, and so sweet. You’re precious to her and she promises to protect you. You make her so happy. She’s so glad she’s met you. 
...
I hope you like it!
...
Please Like & Reblog!!!
&
Happy Halloween!!!
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luxcardia · 2 years
Text
My Mitral Panic
AKA LC’s Adventures in Cardiology
When I decided to stop lurking and start sharing cardiophile content, I always had this fear at the back of my mind: what if someone catches something abnormal in my recordings? For most of my life, I’ve struggled with health anxiety and hypochondria, so this worry was a natural extension of that.
When I got my Littmann, I could hear my heart much better than with my previous cheap steth, and started noticing new things. I’d already been thinking I had an extra sound, especially when lying down, but now it was much more distinct. Occasionally, I thought I could also hear a murmur, although it was so inconsistent, I figured it might just be my ears playing tricks on me. I studied auscultation guides trying to figure this out, but didn’t find anything that fit. In the end, the solution came from a fellow cardiophile with good ears and more knowledge. He said that the extra sound is most likely a mid-systolic click, which would mean mitral valve prolapse (MVP). Instantly, the pattern of my abnormal heart sounds made sense: a murmur that becomes more noticeable when going from lying down to standing up is common in MVP, and that was exactly what I was hearing.
I know there are plenty of others here who also have MVP, and it’s very common and nearly always benign. But I also learned from various publications and websites that it’s not always harmless - in some unlucky few, it can lead to severe mitral regurgitation that requires valve surgery. With my background of health anxiety, I got very worried about all this. Listening to my heart, which has always been a major turn-on for me, turned into something distressing, because all I could hear were these abnormalities. Occasional skips, which I’ve always had and are almost certainly harmless PVCs, also started to bother me in a way they never had before.
There was only one solution to this situation, and I knew it: I’d have to go and see an actual medical doctor, to find out what was going on with my heart and get some peace of mind.
Of course, seeing a cardiologist was a terrifying idea to me. The mix of excitement/arousal and anxiety/fear in these situations makes them really really difficult. After putting it off for many months, I finally somehow managed to gather up the courage and book an appointment with a cardiologist. Since it didn’t seem like a good idea to explain that some random online person had diagnosed me with MVP, I rather went to the appointment on the pretense of other concerns, such as the palpitations.
The first appointment started with a “resting” ECG, pulse ox and blood pressure from both arms, taken by a very professional and not very talkative nurse. Resting in quotes, because my heart rate was around 100, while normally it’s around 60 at rest, and my BP was something like 160/100, also very much higher than what I see at home. Then, I met the doctor. I was expecting him to auscultate me, but he didn’t do that at all - instead, he guided me to the room next doors for an echocardiogram! I’d never had an echo before, so this was pretty exciting, although the positive excitement was toned down by my fear of what he might find. The doctor had me lie down on my left side and pressed the probe to my chest, and there it was: my beating heart, projected on a big screen where I could easily see it! The doctor was very nice, and kept pointing out details to me - what valves are on the screen and so on. He also commented on how high my heart rate was at the start. Somehow, I was able to relax a little as he kept going, and then he commented on that as well, saying that clearly I’m less afraid now, because it was down to 80. I tried not to focus on his words too much, because the were really quite hot to me…
Finally, after looking at many angles and using the doppler mode as well, the doctor noted that my mitral valve seems to be prolapsing ever so slightly, which is causing a tiny bit of regurgitation. He even showed me the images where it’s visible. I feigned that I didn’t know what it meant, but inside, I was extremely relieved. It was the best possible outcome: I got the explanation for the extra sounds that I was expecting, and at the least serious grade possible. In his statement, he marked the amount of prolapse as 2 mm, when according to various sources >2 mm is the limit of what counts as prolapse. The regurgitation was also trivial, below what even counts as mild. Aside from this, everything else was perfectly fine, all measures were normal, ejection fraction was good, no structural abnormalities. I was incredibly happy to hear all this!
Even though my mitral panic was over, my cardiological adventures didn’t end quite yet. There was also the question of those palpitations, not to mention the high BP readings. This cardiologist was very thorough, and decided that the best way to get to the bottom of this was doing 24h Holter for both BP and ECG. When I went to get the devices set up, I was thinking this would be interesting and kind of exciting, but it turned out to be a complete nightmare. Taking the bus home, I was super self-conscious, because the weather was hot, and the bulky wiring was impossible to hide under a t-shirt, not to mention that the BP cuff was in plain sight. I’ve also always been concerned about having hypertension, and this became a self-fulfilling prophecy. Every time the cuff started to inflate around my arm, I freaked out. I tested a few times with my home monitor on the other arm, and the values were constantly high. At night, I couldn’t sleep, because the measurement went off every half hour. Funnily enough, the BP cuff was messing with my head so badly that I kept forgetting I also had the ECG electrodes on. They were itchy, and I would just unthinkingly start scratching at them until I remembered what they were and that I shouldn’t touch them.
The 24 hours that I had to wear the Holters felt like an absolute eternity, and I was so relieved when I could go back to the doctor’s office and get rid of that horrible BP cuff. As for the results - I was prepared to get a lecture about how my BP is too high and I have to do something about it. Really, I was trying to mentally prepare for a prescription for antihypertensive medication. Instead, the doctor - probably factoring in my explanation of how desperately uncomfortable and nervous I was this whole time - just declared that he doesn’t think I have a problem, and I could stop worrying so much. The ECG didn’t have anything too unusual in it, either. I saw the printout mentioned some PVCs, but apparently such a low amount that it wasn’t meaningful, as he didn’t even bring them up.
So, here we are: my heart has gone through the most extensive testing in my life so far, and the conclusion was that it’s perfectly fine! As a bonus, the very mild MVP does give me an excuse to ask for repeat echos later, if I’m brave enough… I sure would love to have another one of those, it was amazing to see my heart on the screen with the doctor describing all the details! One thing is for sure, though: I never, ever want to experience a BP Holter again! Cannot recommend that experience, 0/5.
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starvinginbelair · 19 days
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this is just a thought for the moment, but, i'm wondering (and processing through writing, it's not a full fledged idea) if there's like. a chance if the greater outraged people/suspicious atl fandom could somehow. have a lawyer in their midst and make an offer of their services publicly to the girl who claimed things on twitter and it could be like a fan effort? obv it's a big thing to try coordinate but i'm in the mood for some movie style vigilante shit and i'm just. entertaining the possibility (even though i am definitely not a lawyer). but when i look at things fans have come together and coordinated it def does feel smaller than some things that are outright unhelpful yet people came together for
while i think this would be a better idea than what's currently happening, and of course done with good intentions, i genuinely do not think something like this would never come to fruition, mainly due to the online nature of the allegations and simply how much would actually have to be done on the legal side alone by even the most organized groups of fans.
pls note i'm not an expert on us law. i'm also still in my undergrad, and NOT a law student, but here's how i see it based on my knoweldge of that system.
firstly, i'm not even sure you can bring a legal case on these accusations to a court. i mainly focus on the criminal side in my degree, so i know a lot about this stuff, but because this case was not one that was reported to/investigated to the police (by my knowledge), there's nothing a criminal court can do. this case wouldn't even be brought up there. the reason all time low is able to sue in civil court is because they are suing on defamation charges, and not criminal charges. however, the victim, because they remained anonymous in the original post would not be able to countersue for the same issue. so that's the initial challenge, that i'm pretty sure there's not even a charge that the victims could sue all time low for, it would have to process through a criminal legal avenue.
the only thing i can imagine on the civil level is potentially something to do with not advertising their shows at 18+? but at the same time, it's really hard to think that there's any substantive argument coming out of that, considering there's no us regulation against not advertising 18+ on tickets. and while i don't necessarily think that what all time low was saying at their shows was appropriate, i don't think that it was out of the realm of "acceptable social behaviour" especially for bands in their genre at the time (which they would definitely use as a counterargument for their behaviour)
even if this case somehow did get off the ground, there' still so many other barriers to getting justice for these victims through the legal system. while of course the number of 97 has never been officially confirmed by anyone, there were still a lot of accusations against the band. the difficulty here is that there is no guarantee that all of these people live within the same legal jurisdiction or even the same country. that would likely mean trials in several different areas, which the victims probably would not be able to afford (even if there was a lawyer in the midst of atl fans).
most lawyers don't often do pro bono work, in the first place, and i've personally never heard of it being done across countries like that. logistically, it sounds like a nightmare, because the legal system is so much more than just going to court and pleading your case. it's discovery meetings and motions to dismiss and very much so requires in person or at least consistent online interaction between lawyers and their clients. very rarely do cases actually go to court, with most settling far before it even gets to that stage. and because so much of this broke online and on twitter, with very little other than just stories from victims, it wouldn't be worth it to try to fight it. any lawyer considering picking this up would know that the judge would probably dismiss the case, on the basis of lack of evidence about a year into the process. i say lack of evidence btw, not as away to say i don't believe the stories, but that court admissible evidence is very different from what the average person considers to be evidence. it has to follow a very strict set of guidelines and anything that does not fit the bill is striken from record. and with tiktok and twitter information especially, very rarely does all of it pass through within any issues whatsoever.
anyways, the lawyer would likely realize then that they'd pretty much be wasting a year of everyone's time and money with this case, and simply just not pick it up. it'd probably have to be a very invested lawyer to pursue it in the first place, with more evidence and what they believe is an iron-clad case. but solely on what broke online, i just don't see enough for anyone to want to go after it.
this is also why a lot of sa vicitms don't go to the police or to the courts with their stories. because the system is simply not set up to benefit them, or to get them true justice. they are asked time and time again to prove to the courts that they've gone through this intense trauma, and so much of the time, it is not acceptable just to say that it happened. there has to be stacks on stacks of evidence, and even then, the court can rule against them based on whether or not they truly believed that the defendant did the things they were accused of. it's really tough, and while i would say some places are getting better at adapting their legal system to accomodate these issues, the us is definitely not one of them. with the current way their legal system is set up, it's hard for any victim, with even mountains of receipts and testimony, to receive justice. much less with how little admissible court evidence there would be in this case
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evilwickedme · 1 year
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Hi so. As someone who is vaguely into comic book adapted media, but hasn’t read any superhero comics ever, what sort of like. Super basic suggestions would you have for some favorite characters/runs/series you’ve read? Sorry for the SUPER broad question
So I'm waiting for my doctor's appointment and it's taking forever and my earphones are out of battery so sure why not let's give some recommendations. As usual keep in mind I'm literally just a guy and plenty of people will disagree with me or have read comics I've never touched. Also I've read a very random collection of stories like I've never sat and read any specific spider man run but I've read random specific spider man stories you know? Anyway
Marvel
I've been reading Marvel comics for a long time now, so I'm most solid about these recs.
Deadpool
This is obviously the subject I know the most about and I've been very clear about this in the past but my favorite Deadpool run/story is the 2012 run by Posehn and Duggan, and it was one of the first comics I ever read so obviously I think it's pretty good for beginners. It's got some solid humor, a healthy balance of violence vs story for a Deadpool comic, and it's got some serious heart too. It's also a soft reboot of the Deadpool canon, only has a few references to previous events, so it's really readable for newcomers. If you like Deadpool and are willing to pick up an ongoing I also warmly recommend the new ongoing by Alyssa Wong. We're only three issues in right now but it's delightful and we've officially got our first non-woman love interest for Wade, Valentine Vuong, who's non binary!!!! Super recommend.
Kamala Khan
The original Ms. Marvel run for Kamala from 2014 by G. Willow Wilson is both delightful and incredibly beginner friendly. I haven't kept up with her but she's got a relatively easy catalogue to follow and she interacts with a lot of other heroes which means she's also a good way to get to know the marvel universe at large.
Jessica Jones
Alias is a bit of a darker, more adult series, but it's also entirely a standalone story that requires, in my humble opinion, no knowledge of the marvel universe at large to read, and is ridiculously well done. If you've seen the show, season one is a relatively faithful adaptation in that it covers the spirit of the comic and includes most of the main characters but does not adapt the story beat for beat. Definitely look up the trigger warnings if you're going to pick it up but it's a truly excellent story.
Hawkeye
I'm not as much of an expert in Hawkeye comics as @not-the-blue is (who's currently attempting the truly Herculean task of reading every important Hawkeye issue ever for her lecture, wish her luck) but Hawkeye (2012) by Matt Fraction is a really well done self contained story that includes both Kate Bishop and Clint Barton, and has an issue from the POV of a dog named Lucky the Pizza Dog who is so good! The Hawkeye tv show was based on this run but the comic is considerably better. My one problem with it as a beginner's comic is it does assume familiarity with Clint's personal history, so if you don't know that Clint used to be married to Bobbi Morse, now you know have fun.
DC
I'm much much newer to DC as y'all know but here's how I got into it at least!
Superman
All Star Superman is the easy answer and therefore the answer I'm going to give! It was conceived specifically as a story that could be read outside of main continuity, a sort of definitive story that includes all of our main Superman cast and deals with a lot of Superman's mythology without being bogged down by needing to fit in with the mainline DC universe. It's not my favorite Superman story I've read but it's really beginner friendly. My one gripe with it, and I'm not the only one by any means who feel this way, is that I think the art is butt ugly. A lot of people think it's gorgeous and I just cannot see it. I follow ppl on TikTok who refuse to read it bc of the art like. Idk. Story's great but I wish literally anybody else had drawn it
Batfam
Honestly I'm not sure there's an easy way to get into batman. Most of the elseworlds stories* I've come across for batman are either completely disconnected from the main universe in a way that makes them unrecognizable or not very good for beginners. One thing I'd do is check out the webtoon Wayne Family Adventures; it's free, and it'll get you familiar with the names of pretty much every batfamily member. The problem with WFA is that it's based on fanon interpretation of the characters and character dynamics, so even though it'll loosely reference the occasional canon event, for the most part you can't really trust it for anything more than civilian names, vigilante/superhero names, and basic appearances of, well, honestly pretty much everyone, including people I haven't even begun getting into for real. From there it's pretty much just diving into it. For Red Hood, I recommend reading A Death In The Family (the print edition I own also has A Lonely Place of Dying, which introduced Tim and is honestly a better story) as a prelude for Under the Red Hood, which, you know, reintroduced Jason as Red Hood. The first Batman story I read was Batman: Black Mirror, which features Dick as Batman and focuses on the Gordons a lot, it's a really good story, my only gripe with the story is the changing art style, the two artists do NOT mesh well. Batwoman: Elegy is a really, REALLY good standalone story, might actually be beginner friendly now that I think about it, cause it's basically her introduction (not literally but very close to it) and it doubles as her origin story; also it's written by Greg Rucka, and I'd trust him with writing my life story, fr.
*elseworlds stories are DC's term for any story that does not take place in the main multiverse and is entirely non canonical. Marvel doesn't really have this concept except I guess what if? stories, most of the non-canonical stories marvel chooses to tell simply take place in another universe within the main multiverse. All Star Superman is an elseworlds story
Watchmen
Is Watchmen beginner friendly? I genuinely have no idea, I'm incredibly biased bc it's literally the first comic I read, before I even had my webcomic phase. It's a DC comic in the sense that it was published by their imprint, but I don't even know if it counts as an elseworlds story, it's just... Completely unconnected to anything. It tells the story of the second generation of heroes in a world that is closer to ours than Marvel or DC's. There's only one truly super person in this world. Because vigilantes really did appear and rise to some kind of prominence in this world, comics look very different than what we know, and the main story is interspersed with an in universe comic about a pirate. There's a lot of political commentary in this and some of it arguably didn't age well, but it's a really interesting deconstruction of the superhero genre and one of the most notable of its kind. For better or for worse, modern comics are what they are at least partially because of this comic, and I think it's worth a read
Indie comics
I know you said you wanted beginner's recs for superhero comics, but I want to give a couple of recs for indie comics because they're worth checking out as well
Lumberjanes
Y'all know their work from She-Ra, but before they were the creative mind behind one of the most successful queer cartoons ever ND Stevenson was a well known indie comic artist and writer. They've created a number of comics I love, including the Graphic novel Nimona which I also warmly recommend, and they're also the reason I picked up lumberjanes, which is a story of a girl scount-like summer camp which is deeply weird. It's queer and a lot of fun, sort of Night Vale vibes at times. If you're looking to get into indie comics this is definitely one of the best
Giant Days
This one is a lot lighter than Lumberjanes since it's a slice of life comic about three college girls, not that Lumberjanes is exactly heavy duty. Honestly don't have much else to say about it I think it's really good!
And that's it for now! By no means a comprehensive list of... Anything, and not even a list of my personal favorite comics (although I did only include comics I genuinely enjoyed). Good luck!
(mutuals feel free to add on to this!)
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roachleakage · 4 months
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OK, to be a little less flippant and more helpful toward Ancient Aliens anon, I need to explain what the issue is with the argument "If (idea) is false, how do you explain (list of seemingly overwhelming points of evidence)?"
At first glance this does seem really solid! After all, it's pointing to all the support that the idea seems to have behind it, much like pointing to the fossil record to support the theory of evolution. However, if I was going to educate someone about evolution, this question would be the last approach I would take - because it isn't a scientific statement at all, but a rhetorical device, and a very bad one. It requires two recognized bad-faith maneuvers in order to execute properly: the appeal to ignorance, and the Gish gallop.
An appeal to ignorance, for those who may not know, is a logical fallacy wherein a person tries to argue that a belief must be true because no one knows what the alternative could be. An example of this might be "If you don't think that manifestation works, then explain how I got the exact thing I wanted the week after I started manifesting!" The purpose is to put the other person on the spot, forcing them to assume what is called the burden of proof - the need to provide evidence for a point in order to continue advocating for it.
The problem is, if you're making a big, incredible claim, then you are the one who needs to provide evidence. And when you look at many popular but unverified claims, it can be pretty easy to notice that the empirical data just isn't there. So how is our ancient aliens proponent going to prove that they've done their dues if they don't have any proper, verified, scientific sources?
Enter the Gish gallop, a technique wherein a person basically tries to whammy and disorient you by listing as much alleged evidence as possible in the time or space given. When it comes to faux archaeology like the ancient aliens claim, this usually means listing off a bunch of different cultures and places throughout history - most of which have nothing to do with each other outside of some fairly impressive architecture and maybe a handful of superficial cultural similarities.
One easy way to notice that you're being Gish galloped is that the other person makes no effort to explain how all these disparate shreds of evidence are supposedly connected. It's like watching someone try to convince you that they how to make a sandwich when they don't even know what a sandwich is. They can't tell you that (for example) mayonnaise goes on the bread, then cheese, then ham, then mustard. Instead, they just start naming ingredients - ham, bread, jam, cheese, tomato sauce, baked beans, and so on - in the hope that this seemingly enormous display of knowledge will keep you from noticing the glaring problems with their rant.
Now, I don't blame anon for asking this question. Most people learned it from the actual grifters, and perceive it as being a good argument because it worked so well on them. And it does, fantastically, if you don't realize that it's the rhetorical equivalent of puffing up your feathers in hopes that the other guy gets scared.
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recurse-game · 1 year
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I was scrolling through the re:curse tag and I noticed you like joked in an old post that you shouldn't use rpgmaker for gamemaking. I've been wanting to make a game on there for a bit and im genuinely curious like, what are the downsides to using it?
If you specifically want to make an “rpgmaker-feeling game”, rather than an rpg in general, any version of rpgmaker can probably get you where you want. If you have no interest in learning to code, you can get by in it with zero scripting knowledge, which is nice for artists. And honestly, anything that motivates you to make a game is worth pursuing! My main gripe with the engine is its lack of flexibility, especially in comparison to other free, code-lite engines that are available now. Here are a few specific points:
Platform restrictions: VX Ace, the version I used, cannot export a game for Mac, Linux, or mobile. That means a ton of people won’t have access to your game. Most other commercial engines can do this.
Limits your system design: In rpgmaker, the battle system, menu system, dialogue system, controller input settings, heck, even the fonts and window graphics… They’re all baked in, and changing them is a huge pain in the ass, requiring modifications to the engine’s source code. If you like the way the builtin systems look, it’s fine, but every time I wanted more precise control of my game’s “feel,” I started hitting walls.
Custom scripting in Ruby: Not the biggest gripe, but VX Ace’s internal scripting language is Ruby, which isn’t that common for game development in the West (and I don’t know it very well). Another language like Python, JavaScript or C# would be more accessible for me personally.
The long and short of it is, I started developing in Unity for work, and it’s capable of so much more customization out of the box that going back to rpgmaker (or visual scripting/code obscuring engines in general) feels like putting on handcuffs.
If you want to check out some more free/cheap engines before you commit to rpgmaker, I’d reccomend checking out:
Unity: Great general-purpose 2d and 3d engine, lots of documentation, tutorials and asset store resources available.
GameMaker: I’ve used this in the past and it’s a pretty good middle ground between Unity and rpgmaker. 2D-focused, you can make rpgs but also platformers and other types of 2D games.
Unreal Engine: If you want to do AAA-styled 3D and get great results out of the box, check out Unreal. Its almost exclusively node-tree based visual scripting that can be a bit more intuitive than regular programming.
RenPy: Haven’t used, but seems to be the overwhelming choice if you want to make visual novels.
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