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modmad · 18 days

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Hey Mod, I don't know what's going on that hurt you, I feel like I missed something that's happened, but I can tell from what I did see that it didn't just hurt you, but scared you and made you feel a Lot of doubt. I've also seen a lot of messages pouring in with support, and I want to share mine.

I have hypermobile type EDS, fibromyalgia, and a whole bucket's worth of faulty wiring in my brain. And I've always had stories to tell but I never felt I was good enough to share them. If it's because I can't focus enough to get through nanowrimo, or because I can't manage the focus and time towards drawing as a hobby, or the fact that an excessive amount of either for me leads to my hands wanting to shut down. But you? You *inspire* me. Your stories, all the ones I've seen, read, experienced in some way or another, they're so good. And you're open and honest with your fans about your own health, and of course, we support you and always would rather you rest and feel as best you can, instead of pushing out something and working yourself too hard. But all of this is to say that. I think I would have given up on my own stories if I hadn't found you and yours.

I hope whatever is going on sorts itself out, I hope you're able to keep telling your stories. At your own pace, in your own way. I think you deserve to be happy. If there's anything we (your fans, especially those of us too awkward to come off anon, whoops,) can do, to help in some way? Even if it's silly videos or cute cat pictures or whatever it is that could just help you smile. We're here. We love you.

woof. I woke up to so many messages I can't even read them all in one go I'm getting too emotional- I do feel I owe an explanation so I'll explain what happened under the cut but all you guys need to know is I'm okay, I got through it, I love you, and you're so important to me and I'm so grateful for all the messages that have asked me to stay.

tw for suicidal thoughts and all that

yeah so I have the bad morning of all mornings: was introduced to the fact there's this one character (Mr Puzzles) on a very popular youtube that. resembles RGB. incredibly strongly. like. I don't want to link to it just look if you want to. Anyway at the time I thought it had just dropped (seems to have been around for 6 months actually), and having commented on it I immediately got an inbox full of hate mail.

My website, meanwhile, had locked both me and my web designer out of it, and- already in a bad state of mind- I went into full on panic/paranoid spiral of 'they have hacked it, and they are going to delete any proof that I was here before them.' This of course wasn't true, and we have since recalimed control of the site (don't know what happened there but hey. it's fine???? haha. ha.)

On top of this my father has terminal cancer of the pancreas, which is horrible for everyone already but it means that- at some point this year- I am going to be the only person with an active income in my house. I am disabled, do not make a lot of money, and the cost of living is skyrocketing. Combine that with months of Despair at the world right now, with the multiple wars, genocide, corruption and AI and the loss of control any of us have over our IP or lives and I just decided it was time to end it all.

I somehow remembered this was a bad idea to act on immediately (hard during a period of entirely irrational thought) and instead went for a very long walk, crossed the bridge I could have jumped off and during that I came out of the worst of it. I then came back home to so much love online I felt deeply ashamed for ever contemplating it, and I cried a lot. My nose is still puffy and now my feet hurt! lmao

Anyway. Yeah. There's your context. I am not going to stop hoping, making, or living. I am prone to moments of weakness and this was one of the worst of them and I am still here, thanks in a large part to all of you. I might need you in the future to defend me against this, or people who take our ideas, but I hope you know that I will do the same for you. We need each other, and to be there for you I need to be here at all.

also fuck Mr Puzzles

#context for mod's little (massive) mental breakdown yesterday #you don't need to read it but I felt folks are due an explanation #tw suicide #ask to tag #mental health is wow!!!! a thing

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engie-ivy · 3 months

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@wolfstarmicrofic 5th: Cupid💘

817 words

When Remus let James Potter set him up on a date with his best friend, Lily had hoped that at least he would find out dating really isn't that terrible, and finally start allowing Lily to set him up on dates as well.

Not Sorry

Lily stumbles a little as she walks over to Remus, because damn those bloody heels.

Remus turns towards her from where he's standing at the bar and arches an eyebrow. “Lils, you might want to go easy on the wine.”

Which is ridiculous. Lily has only had three glasses. And some champagne before that. And maybe a cocktail at some point.

“Don't change the topic!” Lily says, even though they hadn't actually been talking yet. She jabs her finger at Remus’ chest. “I'm still mad at you!”

“Oh, come on, Lils," Remus chuckles. “You're going to have to get over it at some point.”

“We had a deal, Lupin!”

“I know, Lily, but-”

“A deal! All I ever wanted was to get you this fun and exciting dating life,” Lily sighs wistfully. “So you could have handsome men take you out and boost your ego like you deserve, and we could share dating stories and laugh about weird guys together. But did you allow me to set you up on a date ever?”

“I did not,” Remus admits.

“You did not!” Lily exclaims, as if Remus didn't already just admit to that. “It was all ‘No, Lily, I'm just the sort of person who's better off by himself’, ‘No, Lily, I'm not looking for anything’, ‘No, Lily, I'm too independent and need my alone time’, and yadda yadda.” She rolls her eyes. “But then what happened? You allowed your new coworker to set you up on a date with his best friend!”

“It's just very hard to say no to James,” Remus defends himself.

Lily scoffs. Although, while she has only met James Potter a few times, if she's honest she can kind of imagine. When Potter is looking at you with those puppy eyes of his, giving you that hopeful smile, all bright and eager and- Lily shakes her head. She's getting off track. “But we came to a very clear agreement,” she continues, placing her hands on her hips. “If you would learn that going on a date is actually not such a dreadful experience as you seemed to think, you would finally start letting me set you up on dates as well. And was the date dreadful?”

“No, it wasn't,” Remus sighs.

“And did you let me set you up on any dates afterwards, as you promised?”

“No, I didn't,” Remus sighs.

“No, you didn't!” Lily mimics. “Not one date, nothing!” She lets out a dramatic sigh. “And I had so many ideas… That cute redhead from the coffeeshop, that fit bloke from my yoga class, the hot guy from accounting… It would've been so fun, so exciting, maybe we even could've gone on double dates at some point!”

“Sorry to interrupt,” Sirius appears at Remus’ side, sliding an arm around his waist. “But as much as I enjoy bonding with your family– our family–,” he corrects with a smile. “Your Aunt Joy has been telling me about her bad knee for half an hour now. The sooner you get that woman some wine, the better.”

“And you!” Lily says, turning her attention to Sirius. “You're to blame as well, you know!”

Sirius blinks at her. “Alright, Evans?”

Lily jabs her finger at Sirius’ chest now. “You just had to snatch him off the market right away, didn't you?”

Sirius blinks again, and then barks a laugh. “Well, can you blame me, Lils? I couldn't risk letting this one get away, now could I?” He presses a kiss to Remus’ cheek. “I had to lock it down as soon as possible.”

Lily purses her lips, because, well, no, maybe she actually can't blame him for that.

“I'll be right there, babe,” Remus says, squeezing Sirius’ hand.

Sirius nods and walks off to deal with Remus’ aunt.

Remus looks at Lily and shrugs. “What can I say, Lils? James just struck gold the first time. If you want me to apologize, I'm going to have to disappoint you.” He looks over at the other side of the room while touching the brand new golden ring around his finger, to where Sirius is chatting to his aunts. Sirius catches his gaze, and the forced smile on his face turns into a soft, genuine one. Remus smiles as well. “I'm really not sorry at all.”

Lily watches Remus and Sirius make their way through the room to chat with all their guests.

They do look awfully good together, she thinks sourly.

Then she turns on her heels, having decided to go look for James Potter and give him a piece of her mind. Stupid Potter, thinking he can play Cupid and set their best friends up for their happy-ever-after! Like, who does he think he is? Making Remus so bloody happy, making her bloody cry with that stupid best man speech of his, and looking so bloody handsome in his stupid suit!

Yes, she'll tell him alright.

#wolfstar microfic #matchmaker prongs #drunk lily evans #wolfstar wedding #smitten remus lupin #smitten sirius black #wolfstar #jily #wolfstar fanfiction #wolfstar fic #marauders #marauders fanfiction #marauders fic #sirius black #remus lupin #remus x sirius #lily evans #james potter

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utilitycaster · 2 months

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Hi there, I saw in one of your tags recently that "if you think the raven queen was being unfair, I'm not really interested in your opinions." I was wondering if you could talk a little more about that because I'll be honest, Vax isn't my favorite character but I've seen all of C1 and I really don't get why some people HATE the RQ, call her unfair, manipulative and pretty plainly say this moon conflict is mostly her fault because she took Vax and through a Domino effect Ludinus is releasing Predathos. Also, I enjoy your theories and analysis for CR so much you got me listening to Midst, so thank you.

Hi anon,

Great question! This is going to be a very long post, with a relatively short initial answer, because there is both the literal misinterpretation that indicates this is not someone with strong analytical skills nor knowledge of canon, and a number of potential mindsets that lead to this manner of thinking in the first place, none of which I respect. You happen to have sort of hit upon the foundational elements of my whole deal re: CR meta, so, buckle in.

The first part is simple: Vex died because Percy triggered a trap before she'd been healed up. We've seen this sort of trap elsewhere in non-divine contexts (Folding Halls of Halas); it's just a form of trap. A particularly nasty one, but this is for a very powerful relic she doesn't want falling into the wrong hands, and, moreover, the party could have likely disabled it either through rogue skills or magic had Percy waited. Vax, then, as the third part of the resurrection ritual, told the Raven Queen to take him instead of Vex. The Raven Queen did precisely as he asked. He did not need to offer this (Scanlan was going to make an offering, the other parts of the ritual had gone well, it was Vex's first death so the DC was low, and Vax could have made any number of other, less dramatic offers), and he did so with the understanding that he would die in lieu of Vex, right then and there. He did not. I think that's the only case, actually, where the Raven Queen was not 100% upfront with her intentions before Vax accepted something; but he offered it voluntarily. Vax was a person who formed extremely intense connections, to the point where it was perhaps unhealthy, and did not believe life without his sister was worth living, and was willing to sacrifice himself to a god.

Everything after that was extremely straightforward. Vax communed with the Raven Queen, who spoke very directly with him in his vision in the Raven's Crest. She was extremely clear when she met with him following his disintegration: he was given the option to refuse her offer, and he took it instead. It is not manipulative to give someone a difficult decision, and if a character you like makes a choice you don't like, it is not automatically the result of manipulation.

As for the moon conflict being her fault…that is, to put it bluntly, unhinged, and what's more, ironic given that that's the manipulative argument. Ludinus tried to commune with Ruidus using a random crystalline artifact beneath Molaesmyr, centuries before Vax was born. He was going to do this regardless. If he couldn't get Vax, he'd get some other sliver of divinity, and what's more, it's been all but stated that Vax is not actually supposed to be leaving the Shadowfell to protect Keyleth, and is disobeying the Raven Queen directly (and it's been stated that this isn't necessarily helpful for Keyleth, who is trying to grieve and move on). So: Vax made his choices with the knowledge of what they entailed, is trying to bend if not break the conditions to which he agreed with full knowledge in a way that probably isn't healthy for him or Keyleth, and it's bananas to be like "wow look at how the Raven Queen made Ludinus try to free Predathos." Like. Even if she had tricked Vax, which she didn't, Ludinus literally could have just kept on his racist imperialistic longevitymaxxing beat indefinitely and left the moon well enough alone. The domino meme is a meme. I mean, while we're at it, couldn't we trace it back to Vecna instead, for killing Vax with Disintegrate in the first place, since had he not done so, Vax would have either survived that fight or would have been resurrected normally? Or perhaps it's Percy for triggering that trap. Or the Chroma Conclave for being the reason why Vox Machina was seeking the Deathwalker's Ward in the first place…but that only happened because Allura and Kima didn't kill Thordak but rather sealed him, and because a priestess of Melora cursed Raishan so that she had reason to ally with Thordak. We can go on indefinitely; the point is, to assign blame specifically to the Raven Queen when Ludinus literally did not have to do a goddamn thing with the moon is a fucking stupid take.

Below the cut, I talk root causes behind why people might decide the Raven Queen was unfair and come up with the above nonsensical argument to support that, since I don't think people say stupid things just to be stupid.

I think one root cause for this mentality of this is that the person in question wishes Vax hadn't died and is looking for someone to blame because they don't want to blame Matt Mercer and Liam O'Brien, even though yeah, that's who to blame. The thing is, as we learned in Campaign 2, character death is quite literally on the table. Had Vax not made his bargain, either in episode 1x103 or his original one during Vex's resurrection? He might have simply remained dead. Had he not given his life for Vex's, he was pursuing paladin anyway with the Everlight, and we don't know what she'd have required of him. But more importantly, for all people like to bring up a PC-centric perspective (which, in Actual Play, is inevitable) Vox Machina's frequent use of resurrection spells was in fact a massive privilege most people in Exandria do not have. And, unsurprisingly for a table whose DM made up rules specifically to make resurrection more difficult, the Critical Role cast is open to a story where death exists. I do not think it's an accident that resurrection has been made even harder in the subsequent campaigns. I also happen to think that Campaign 1 is a far richer and better story with Vax's death, given the other events that occurred. Had Vax not been the sort of person who would offer his life for a god to take in exchange for his sister? Sure, he'd possibly have lived to the end. But he was, and that's the character those people who wish he were still alive loved. If he wasn't that person, they wouldn't have liked him in the same way.

D&D is fundamentally about exceptional characters becoming more powerful, and will be focused on those characters. I do not think D&D supports a story about characters who reject all power. They can give up political power (the Mighty Nein, for the most part, do this - certainly more so than Vox Machina, and Bells Hells is yet to be seen) but they will progress in levels, which is power. Even if unwanted, it is power, because most people in the world are commoners with 5 HP and 10 in all their stats. With that said, a lot of people desperately want a subversion of this power narrative. Vax is, I think, the closest we get. In D&D you are not going to get a player character who finishes a campaign and remains Just Some Guy. But you can have someone like Vax, who doesn't have any interest in power (compare to Vex, who very much is about power and who gets a much happier ending) who nonetheless ends up on the Tal'Dorei Council and the favored of a god…and yet, in the end, his equally powerful friends still can do nothing to save him. I think a Power Bad story is overly simplistic, but "there are limits to power, and ultimately none of us have complete control" is not. I think Vax's death gives the story of Vox Machina a finality and heft that it would lack otherwise.

A second possible cause is the "What if the gods are BAD" argument. I'm going to be totally honest: I did not see this in the fandom until Campaign 3, and honestly, not until EXU Calamity in any widespread sense, which does lead me to believe that most people did not come up with it as a reasonable idea on their own until characters started saying it, because it is so plainly in conflict with the themes of Campaigns 1 and 2 that to make this argument would be obvious projection. Do I think a nuanced view of the gods as flawed beings, rather than perfection, is warranted? Absolutely. Mortals, too, are flawed, and we don't kill them all for it. I think Vax's story makes them uncomfortable because it makes it clear divine favor is not, as Ludinus Da'leth tries to argue, the gods just bestowing and withholding their gifts arbitrarily, but rather that divine favor comes with a divine responsibility as well. Clerics and paladins do not study the way wizards do; but they must live lives in service, whereas a wizard can shut the book at the end of the day and do whatever. Clerics and paladins have powers that can be taken away; a wizard does not. That's the fundamental concept behind the Age of Arcanum - wizards trying to get around the fundamental rules of this world! Vax's paladin powers came at a price. His options are guided, but also limited, by the oath he took. He is far more fettered than a wizard, in the end, and I think that fucks with the narrative of the gods cruelly withholding their gifts from all but a select few, so they instead make their gifts into manipulative punishments…while still, contradictorily, arguing that characters such as Laudna or Ashton or Imogen were denied the mercy of the gods. Now, setting aside the obvious, that these characters have their backstories because Marisha and Taliesin and Laura decided they would because this is a story, and one in which someone had a perfect life would be boring and so the gods didn't intervene with Laudna because Marisha Ray wanted to play a Sun Tree corpse (see next section), it really is fascinating to see how people who hate the Raven Queen so neatly align with Ludinus. It's fine for sorcerers to have inborn powers, apparently, and Ludinus actually has himself tried to ape druidic magic; it's not about power, it's just about that power source. Honestly, they're not even above the gods as a power source - Ludinus used the crystal beneath Molaesmyr seemingly unaware if it were of the Archheart, and he's demonstrably using Vax, and everyone loves a resurrection from the gods, but heaven forbid you pay someone for the work you feel yourself entitled to. (Entitlement: this will also be a theme throughout the rant portion of this post.)

As a brief subsection to this: the idea that bad things happen to good people because the other side of that coin is free will is an ancient theological and philosophical discussion, and one we are obviously not going to solve here, though it is a little depressing I have had multiple rewarding conversations on this topic, thanks to an academically rigorous religious education, starting from the tender age of 9, and a lot of adults on Tumblr seemingly can't engage on the level of my third-grade classmates. I think, however, it tells a truth that fits in well with the wizard (and entitled fan) desire to control everything. People are terrified of random forces. Cancer, for example, is a matter of probability. There are things that can increase your chances of developing cancer, to be sure, but the simile I used when I was taught about radiation-induced cancers was that of lottery tickets: if you buy more, you have a better chance; but sometimes someone who bought a single ticket "wins" and someone who bought a ticket weekly never does. By believing the gods of Exandria are on trial for not intervening with every little hardship or for not taking Vax precisely as he intended, they reveal a profound terror of random chance and of the free will of people who are not them. Which is very funny when you consider we're watching Actual Play, where random chance is a deliberately induced element. I think the takeaway of all of this is "I think some of you guys are really mad this is a D&D game." But let's continue.

The third, and honestly most likely cause, is honestly sort of a continuation of the first but not centered around Vax so much as just a general, in my opinion deeply childish discomfort of any sort of tragedy or unhappiness in fiction. I've noticed this a lot lately, and I am not a cultural critic and don't have a high enough level view to pretend to be one, but as others have noted a lot of people seem affronted when whatever show they are currently watching does not meet their specific standards of "comfort media" or "hopepunk." It's a self-infantilization I don't care for, and it's certainly not limited to the CR fandom (see: any grown-ass adult passionately defending a choice to only watch children's cartoons and only read YA) or even fandom at all (see: the baffling popularity of the Mr. Rogers "look for the helpers" line which was intended for anxious young children, not for adults who can and should be the helpers). It really came into focus for me with CR when people referred to both EXU Calamity and to Candela Obscura's Circle of Needle and Thread as specifically "hopeless." They are, to me, deeply hopeful series. They are sad, and tragic, and many characters do not get a happy ending, but they are ultimately about how some people will endure, and will live on and find meaning after great loss. Calamity explicitly states that because of the actions of the heroes, while devastation will occur, total annihilation is mitigated. It's like the adage of how courage only means something in the face of fear; hope only means something in the face of darkness. Happy and fluffy tales are not hopeful; they are merely not things that require you to have hope. The root word of catharsis is that of cleansing and purgation and it originally related to physical excretion - cathartic stories are about getting those complicated and ugly emotions and fears out and feeling better for it by briefly feeling, perhaps, worse! Now, again, this has worsened with Vax's story with time. Shortly after Campaign 1, it was very common to see stories where Vex or Keyleth were utterly distraught, indefinitely, but those at least were engaging with grief, even if in a very shallow and unproductive way. But this has morphed into this idea that the fact that a work of fiction might make you even feel sadness makes it bad, and wrong, and hopeless, and the machinations of a cruel and heartless god. Which brings me back to the entitlement narrative: it's really as simple as "the story didn't give me what I wanted (whether that was a happy ending for Vax, or for Keyleth, or just a lack of sadness generally, or a narrative about the gods that validates my personal beliefs, or a way to justify Ludinus's actions), so it is bad." Which again is about being in control of the narrative, which again, in D&D, is simply not something anyone can claim. Why are these people here watching a D&D game? I don't know.

So that's really it: on a basic level, if you think the Raven Queen is unfair, you are profoundly ignorant of canon, so I'm already going to have to fact check anything you cite (if you cite at all), but there's a much deeper refusal to meet stories where they are and expand one's own comfort zone at play, and that means any analysis will never consider the possibility that your pre-existing beliefs were wrong (absolutely crucial in meta). You will always play it too safe and be uninspired and reactionary because the alternative is uncertainty and fear. I think a refusal to embrace tragedy in fiction is itself a profound tragedy; that is someone who is terrified to believe that life goes on.

#answered #Anonymous #cr tag #long post #candela tag #ngl i'm torn about not maintagging this; kind of want to but it does go somewhat far from the original topic

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with-my-murder-flute · 11 days

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Cristabel and the proverbial sandwich

(Spoilers for Harrow and Nona the Ninth)

I have not known inner peace since I saw someone say, "But come on, does anyone ACTUALLY buy John's story about how the nun died?"

Because honestly, I'd just kind of gone, "Super random, very weird interaction, boy there sure are cult mindworms at play here," and moved on to the next page.

But as soon as I saw that question asked, the amount I did not buy that story hit me like a load of bricks, to the point I'm kind of amazed that I ever did believe it.

Two people. A locked door. A nuclear standoff. A close-range head injury.

On one side, a full-fledged Catholic nun—well done, that’s the classic—who's best friends with a staunchly atheist world-class scientist and believes, if we're to believe John, that Jesus's problem is that he didn't stick to office hours.

On the other, a woman described as, "A total delight. Effervescent. Kind to animals and children. A master of the sword. Did not have the intellect you’d ordinarily find in a sandwich or an orange, and was a sickening twerp into the bargain."

Oh, and in the middle, there's also a necromancer who wants to bring back his friends... minus any little details about things he they might have done wrong. He "knows where memory lives in the brain", and they "won't have any of it." And "guys as careful as me don't make mistakes," but then again, all that means is that if he kills someone, he did it on purpose.

C— talks her way into a locked room with John, who's on the phone threatening some world leaders with a nuke, expresses care and concern for him, and then... decides he needs more data on the soul? And kills herself to provide that for him?

I'll be honest, I just don't believe that John was an ordinary guy, totally normal, could be any of us, and he just got put in a really stressful situation and made some bad choices but who HASN'T done things they aren't proud of??? I reject that point of view completely. Like, Elon Musk in any given interaction probably is really stressed out and unhappy and having trouble responding in a way that's at all well-considered or emotionally mature, but that doesn't mean that Musk isn't also, at baseline, a deeply stupid, petty, immature, grandiose, entitled, egocentric person. No matter what situation you put him in, he's going to keep on being those things.

I think that John's initial idea was to put the entire human population of Earth, minus some necessary staff, into some giant cryonic freezers, and give the Earth some amount of time to rest and recover from the effects of human-caused pollution. A plan about which I will confess some hesitation myself; being told "just lie down in this coffin, bro, you'll only be a little dead, I'll totally bring you back to life* in a couple centuries (*98% effective!) " does not fill me with an enthusiasm to hop on board.

And then his project got cut. And he decided, "Well, if they won't agree, I can just make them agree." After all, all that end game needs is 10 billion frozen corpses hanging out in those tin cans, and a small team of staff left to keep the place running. How it gets there is something he can afford to be flexible about. If people won't climb in on their own, he can put them there.

So when C— or the nun tell him to stop focusing on revenge, to bend all his energies to saving the world, I think he thinks: Well, I am. He's gonna wash the earth clean at the end of this! He just needs to be able to set the dominoes in motion. He just needs to engineer a situation that will justify taking his nuke out of the vault and making the pieces fall.

A situation that would be sabotaged, ruined, if anyone made a true deep sincere good-faith effort to talk him out of Plan Nuke and called the legitimacy of this crisis into any sort of question. He needs to prevent that from happening.

Actually. Also. He needs one more thing than that.

He needs an excuse to use the nuke, but also, he's finishing his homework at the very last minute. He still hasn't mastered the soul. He does need a few more test subjects.

Maybe he let her in and thought: Two birds with one stone, eh?

#lis's tlt theories #the locked tomb #the locked tomb spoilers #ntn spoilers #htn spoilers #cristabel oct #john gaius must die

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 13 days

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AITA for the way I dated people in high school?

💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥 so i can find it later

I am like pretty sure I'm TA but I would like second opinions on this because a lot of factors are complicated and makes me wonder if i was 100% in the wrong or not.

When I was in high school (14-17NB) i had dated three people.

(I know for sure that I had been TA with my first girlfriend M because when we dated i liked her a lot but not enough to feel anything romantic and as soon as I realized I didn't like her as much as she liked me i broke it off to spare her any long term pain. We remained friends, but I think she and eventually my ex friends held some sort of resentment against me for being fickle.)

The main issues were with my second and third partners.

Firstly, I dated my second partner A (we were 15 then) out of pity because her ex treated her terribly. I didn't like her back, nor did i really pretend to, i just wanted to be the one to take care of her because it seemed that no one else in her life was looking out for her.

Then a mutual "friend" S (14M) told me she cheated on me. While I was not into A romantically I still felt betrayed for some reason I am not sure i understand even now. When i confronted her, she told me this mutual friend was unreliable and wanted to break us up. I believed this because S was a creep towards the both of us. (Later, S would stalk me for about 6 years but thats a different story).

But then A asked if we could have an open relationship, and I got upset but agreed because i was too much of an idiot to say no.

After more time, A and i grew apart and she started expressing interest in other people in front of me that i tried at every opportunity to break up with her because i was just over it. But everytime I'd almost bring up the subject she'd do something romantic and sweet to me and i felt like an asshole for wanting to break up with her, so i didn't. Eventually, I just updated my online profile to single to be done with it, which i know for sure was a dick move.

Later, A and I (both 17) met someone online named Y(19NB) who was nice enough, but i didn't feel anything romantic for. Instead, i was interested in another person named R(17M). But R didnt return my feelings and i felt really sad, so A pressured me into a relationship with Y and i agreed because I was still an idiot I guess.

I was still thinking about R, so A flirted with R to "get me to focus on Y". I will not say what exactly happened between them but it was horrible enough for me to feel deeply betrayed and hurt. Obviously, I could not focus on Y and because Y's friends were cyberbullying me and threatening my life because they assumed that I would naturally hurt Y's feelings due to my dating history that i just decided to be a massive dickhead and break it off with them shortly after.

When Y started to cry and everyone was calling me a villain for doing that I gave up and just let them assume the worst of me. (Later on it turned out that Y and all their cyberbullying friends were all accounts run by one person claiming to have DID but thats another story).

I still want a romantic relationship but I worry I'll mess it up for being fickle so I havent entered any since high school. I wouldn't do some of the things I did back then. I am much more honest now about rejecting people. I guess my fear of saying no was to blame. But I would like to know if I was in the wrong 100%.

So AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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campbell-rose · 8 months

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Helluva Rewrite: Blitzø

ft Loona doodles :) Alright first off sorry this took so long i got a job lol

A large part of his character is the fact that he used to be a clown, so I took a bit of two face in this design and accentuated the scarring on the left side of his face. I decided to give him the circular cheek bits to allude to the clown as well as ruffling his collar under the clothes. He’s the most complex design of the IMP so far, aside from Loona’s multiple spots, so i tried to keep the colors simple but distinct from M&M. I took the spikes and put them on his clothes – as in he puts on thorns to keep people away. I think a pink tone suits his more lusty character.

Now as for his character... I'll be honest I struggled with him for a bit. I wasn’t entirely sure where I wanted his character to go or how serious this rewrite would take the drama Viv wants to write. I adore writing deep characters, so I suppose I’m going to have to take The Office’s approach of being a comedy with moving parts. There are overarching plot lines in this version, that being Moxxie’s mafia ties coming back to haunt him, Blitzo’s past coming back to fuck him over in the form of everything about him, and Millie’s insecurities fucking her over when it counts. Maybe the series underlying theme is how running from your problems doesn’t work. Idk, because I also like the whole monster of the week type assassin gigs they do. I’ll make it work.

So now, introducing the new and improved Blitzø!

Blitzø is a mixed imp, his father being from Greed and his mother being from Lust. As such he’s a very poor mix of bad traits. He’s hypersexual (to the point of disturbing others), greedy as fuck (as he underpays Millie and Moxxie), is greatly attached to and possessive of those he likes (hence his smothering of Loona and stalking of M&M), and tends to think with his dick in most situations which get him into quite a few pickles (hehe pickle)

Alright, so personality wise he is just about the same. He shits on others, is generally an ass and not very shy about it, but one thing I want to change is his delivery. This Blitzø is much more jovial about what he’s doing, putting on an act of being very charming and playful, even when he insults people. Ex, the line in the pilot when he mentions Moxxie crushing his dreams would include a very childish pout and a chuckle after. He plays the things he says off as jokes so it gives him an air of... idk like you don’t know when he’s ever being serious.

He grew up in a circus in Greed along with his twin sister Barbie Wire (side note if Blitzo was my og creation he would have a pun/type name like Barbie does. Too tired to come up with one now, but mainly just because Barbie Wire is a much more creative name than fucking Blitzo) and his mother, who was dying day by day. His father was the ring leader and used his children as props to make money. Blitzo was a double act with Barbie Wire where they would do tricks on trained horses before Barbie started wanting to do trapeze and Blitzo was paired with Fizz instead to do acrobatics and tell jokes.

Now since we don’t know what the fuck happened in Blitzo’s past (despite being on fucking season 2) I’m going to leave this bit open ended until Viv plays her cards then rewrite it into my story.

So overall I’m not tweaking too much with Blitzo. Maybe instead of being a woobie who is like oh woe is me I suck he is just an overt asshole who sort of wants to be better but that’s too much work.

His relationship with Stolas is a can of worms and I fucking hate worms. Alright, so we’re scrapping the childhood buddies thing, and going full force into what we all were shown in the pilot – this powerful demon is banging Blitzo in exchange for the Grimoire. Now real quick, why doesn’t Blitzo use Asmodean crystals? In this I'm making it so only lust demons can bond with crystals (bonding meaning only that demon can use them) and unbound crystals can’t leave Lust. So Blitzo would have to go to Lust and buy one, which is expensive as fuck and he was too broke at the time he struck the deal with Stolas. He’s planning on ditching Stolas as soon as he has enough cash to buy a crystal for IMP to use.

So Stolas and Blitzo are both using each other, neither of them are like “omg I think he likes me”. Stolas wants sex to fuel his imp fetish and Blitzo wants the book. Blitzo has every intention of cutting this off as soon as he gets the crystal, and in his mind is only really indulging some rich brat demon. The issue comes when Blitzo finds himself actually liking Stolas – he likes the owl’s stupid spiels about literature and space and herbs, he likes that Stolas tells him helpful things with no prompting (like how certain herbs can treat injuries and things like that), and he finds himself liking Stolas’s company. Which is a big problem if he wants to cut the demon off, so he starts trying to get that in gear. This is also while being constantly reminded how unlovable he is and how he ruins everything he touches, but he’s conflicted because Stolas has started to treat him kindly and refer to him like an acquaintance rather than a sex toy.

Any I'm tired af, going to bed.

Oh, but before I go I just want to say that now that I’ve finished the IMP gang, I’m taking a minor break from reworking Helluva and will be posting some RWBY redesigns I’ve made because I fucking hate RWBY but at the same time it’s like my childhood. I’ll tag anything Rwby I'm doing as Rwby Rework if you’re interested, but don’t worry I’ll continue to do more viv/helluva/hazbin later this month!

Thanks for reading <3

#anti helluva boss #anti vivziepop #helluva boss critical #helluva boss redesign #helluva boss rewrite #helluva rewrite #vivziepop critical

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thegoldenappleofdiscord · 7 months

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hit me with your best will solace hcs please, i can take it

will solace headcanons or something

gonna be real honest i forgot half of my headcanons and i'll probably remember them the minute i post this but:

healing and hymns: i don't think the healing process in chb is specified beyond "ambrosia and nectar," but i think a combination of powerful voice (stentorian) + correct hymn + natural talent = higher chances of healing success; i don't think will has a voice that's very pleasant to listen to. i think he can carry a tune, sure, but he isn't someone you want to listen to for extended periods of time. the thing i think makes him such a good healer is his strong voice - he's able to keep singing at a steady pace with consistency. he can heal his siblings of small bruises and paper cuts through a single song, but you won't catch him leading a campfire. [i thought way too long about how hymns work in the infirmary for my fic jdsjgfdg]

texan will: i've seen a lot of headcanons revolving around texan will that have always been a little odd to me, seeing as i'm texan and half of these hcs are just blatant stereotypes lmao. i think i even once saw someone say that because he's from the south he can't be a vegetarian, which is pretty absurd (coming as someone who fasts.) honestly the only one for this i can think of is that he uses "ya'll" constantly. also occasionally indulges in fried food, because fried chicken slaps (none of that fried oreo/snickers bs. miss me with that will would NOT go near that stuff.)

assorted appearance headcanons:

he has freckles all over him! apparently he doesn't have them canonically and we all just. collectively decided that he did, and i love that.

likes pockets. anything with pockets. also, flip flops, crocs, basically any open-toed shoes. sometimes he'll just go barefoot, because why not. i also think he wears a lot of bracelets - things made by his younger siblings (some alive, some not.) they're his version of camp beads.

from here i give up on categorizing my hcs:

gets more irritated during winter/fall months

tea person

the type of person to belt out songs when he thinks nobody is watching

is actually rather chill during shadow travel, and doesn't get nauseated because he's done it with nico so often

lets the cocoa puffs hitch a ride on him whenever he's in the infirmary, and always has to explain who they are to new patients.

doesn't curse often but when he does it's a storm

friends with drew because i said so and also because i think he, jake, and drew have "i became a camp counselor too early" solidarity. i think they all became friends post tlo and have maintained a tentative relationship since! those cabins have each other's backs.

big spoon

wants to get more tattoos (maybe a tattoo sleeve?)

doesn't want to become a doctor, but rather a vet, or maybe a teacher. reasoning being that he'll have to relearn everything, but also that he'll have to deal with the loss of his patients again, this time knowing he couldn't heal them magically because he's relying on modern medicine. plus, he would have to spend a long time away from his siblings, and seeing as how he's a year rounder, i don't think that would bode well for him.

really really likes planning events - especially birthday parties

wants to travel the world, but is also afraid to leave everything behind

was once afraid of growing up, and still sort of is. doesn't think much of his birthday, because he used to celebrate it with his mother, and he didn't really get a chance to start celebrating with his siblings before being thrown into war

terrible dancer, even though his boyfriend is really good at it

loves to garden! there's a garden for the infirmary where he gathers ingredients for salves and poultices, but he also just loves the scent of flowers. he likes to care and nurture things, and plants are something he pours a lot of energy into. he and nico also go strawberry picking a lot.

fast fast fast runner

post tsats: persephone will occasionally call him using an angel trumpet flower (this is like. a very specific vision but search up one of those flowers and imagine holding it up to your ear like a telephone:)

anyway she calls him on one of these bad boys and asks how he's doing. they have long chats about flowers and sometimes him and nico are invited for picnics in the underworld.

him and nico have a travel bucket list

he has possibly the worst handwriting ever. absolutely terrible

is pretty bad at using technology, but still has to pretend like he knows how to use it when he's helping nico navigate the internet.

aand that's all i remember for now!

#also i'm well aware that trumpet flowers are poisonous #seph has particular taste lmao #will solace #will solace pjo #will solace headcanon #nico di angelo #nico di angelo pjo #solangelo #drew tanaka #tsats #pjo #toa #rrverse #reeseanswers #lets not talk about how i used vocation forgetting what it actually meant mkay?

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sjmgirlie · 2 months

Text

“I see so much potential for Lucien and Elain”

Where?

There has not been a single scene in 2 novels and 1 novella since we found out they were mates that alludes to any potential at all?

They haven’t even had one conversation where Feyre isn’t there carrying it? He lives on the other side of Prythian? Can't stand to be around her? She wants to leave the room each time he's there? Specifically sits away from him? Like where is the potential other than some sort of imagery (which I'll get to)? It ain't there.

“I can’t imagine a single conversation happening between Elain and Azriel”

Really?

They had one the first day they met. Talking about flying.

Not to mention on Solstice they stayed up to talk to each other when everyone else went to bed.

How do we know they didn’t talk when they were in the garden together?

“Azriel just stifles Elain. She’s just a damsel in distress”

You sure?

He literally gave her the knife he had literally never let anyone touch in 500 years to protect herself? Cassian didn’t want Nesta finding the troves either? Are we trying to say that a man who wants to protect a women is suddenly.. unattractive? Like idk about you, but I would love for a bat boy to save me lol. Or tell me not to do something for my safety. But okay.

“It’s just lust”

Let’s not even go there because a male willing to participate in a blood duel and renouncing his own religion is not just trying to have sex

“Lucien is the son of Helion and Elain needs sun!”

Ya?

Well Lucien has never had sun imagery. It’s fire from his Autumn Court heritage and in Hybern he released himself with SPELLS. Feyre was actually the person to cast out a bright light to break the wards, and we find out later that it’s a gift from the Dawn court. Lucien tells us this. Lucien has fire magic and is a spell cleaver, not the sun. ELAIN is the sun. Day court does not equal sun for Lucien. Sorry.

“Elain will never accept Azriel’s profession”

Oh?

Pretty sure she’s already accepted everyone in the Night Court. They all have jobs that are borderline sus. And considering the countless instances where we see Elain is actually very observant, I’m sure she knows what he does, yet she still leans into his touch. Not to mention Mr. fashion police Cassian also tells us that Elain is not a loyal dog. That she saw everything Nesta did and understood. Doesn't seem like she's not accepting to me.

"Azriel just wants a mate!!"

Seriously?

If the male wants a mate why would he bother spending time with a female he knows has one? Why wouldn't he be sailing around Prythian looking for her? Because she sure as shit isn't in the Night Court. And let's be honest, I don't think he will even be getting a mate if it's not Elain through some sort of different bond. Because there is no one in canon right now that could be his mate, and we only have 2 more novels and 1 novella left. And his book is next. Apparently we can all agree on that, but can't accept Elain is also getting the next book, aka their book together. And no, Gwyn is not his mate, because it would have already snapped into place. We had an 800 page book where they were in the vicinity of each other through all the training monologues (so maybe more 400 pages) and it didn't happen? Rhys knew before they left under the mountain. Literally happened at the end of the book. Cassian knew the first day he met Nesta. Lucien knew the second Elain took her first breath lol... it's not happening.

"Elain should be with Lucien and they would be High Lord and Lady of Day Court!!"

Ew?

You want to kill off Helion??? I want the novella to be about him and the Lady of Autumn tbh (even though it's likely Mor). Like? No, I need some sort of scene with Helion in each remaining book. I need more of him, biblically and spiritually. Also, have we forgotten “You can not resent my decision to lead a small quiet life..” ??? Elain said this in ACOSF to Nesta, like, do you think this girl wants to be High Lady all of a sudden? No. She doesn't.

"Elain needs to give Lucien a chance!!"

Why?

I swear everyone who says this has never been in that "Oh, well he's just such a nice guy!! Give him a chance" type of situation. Like why should I? WHY SHOULD SHE? He literally was an accomplice in her human life being stripped away from her. Should they end up being friends? Yes. Together romantically? No. If she doesn't want to give him a chance, which she clearly doesn't, then she doesn't need to. Stop diminishing choice in character arcs. Her whole arc, with Azriel and Lucien, is centred around choice in the first place.

"Azriel's shadows danced for Gwyn, so they are endgame"

Huh?

Don't get me wrong, the shadows are a part of Azriel, but I don't think they literally determine his life for him. Actually, I know this 100%. His shadows are under his command. Also, they danced for her breath, not Gwyn. Which is weird. Not to mention his shadows alert him in times of trouble and to gain information. Is it not weird they didn't alert him that she was there? Like that's not being wing-shadowy, that's screaming something sus is going on. (And no, I'm not anti-gwyn or even saying she's evil. Is she a lightsinger? Probably. The evidence is there. Does it mean she's bad? No.)

"Azriel's shadows hide from Elain, so they can't be together"

Lol?

Again, are Azriel's shadows the ones that command him? Or does he command them? And his shadows have disappeared for half of the IC. They disappear when there is no threat. They disappear when he doesn't want them there. Pretty sure Azriel's whole character doesn't just revolve around shadows. Sure, they are a huge part of his identity so far, but do we truly think that he wants to be reduced to them? Doubt it. He's probably had a very hard time coming to terms with the fact people have always looked at him differently because of it. I wouldn't be surprised if him becoming a Shadowsinger (since they came to him later in life in the dungeon) was a result of unfathomable trauma. Azriel does not only equal shadows only. We just don't know him yet.

"The BC sunk Eriel"

Truly?

You mean the bonus chapter where Azriel was about to get on his knees for a taste? The bonus chapter where Elain was giving him offer and permission? The bonus chapter where Rhys was the reason they DIDN'T actually kiss? The bonus chapter where Rhys became their obstacle and lifted the stakes not only on a personal level (with Elain thinking she was rejected, with Az and Rhys having a wedge between them) and politically (the potential downfall with god knows how many courts since Lucien is a drifter and the human lands)? Like we need the stakes!!!! This is what makes it worthwhile to read?? Forbidden romance? That should be enough intrigue. Plus anyone who genuinely thinks an author would write a male character willing to drop to his knees for a female (we've seen this with both Rhys and Cassian btw) only to have him move on in the next book is just idk. It's not possible. It would be so UNROMANTIC for them not to end up together. Like I would never forget Azriel wanted Elain's coochie so bad only to end up with someone else??? Ya, that's not romantic.

"Elain and Tamlin would be perfect mates"

Throws Up

So Elain is going to go to the only court where there is no gardening because the HL magic keeps everything in eternal bloom, only to shack up with her sister's ex who that same sister almost married and her mates ex best friend? Make it make sense. You're truly showing your hatred for stereotypical feminine qualities my friend. Tamlin needs some time to lick his wombs and maybe learn how to cook. He needs to stop isolating himself. And again, Elain is not his mate. Also, let's just add Elain is not ever leaving the Night Court. The series is about the Archeron sisters, and her sister is the literal High Lady of NC, not to mention her other sister is mated to the Illyrian General. Like be for real right now.

The End. 🌹🗡❤️🦇

#eriel #pro eriel #elain x azriel #elain #anti gwynriel #anti elucien #i thought it was obvious #it is sarah #just clearly not for everyone

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netherfeildren · 4 months

Text

End of Year Thoughts :

A different sort of post from me this evening.

I've been trying to write up my feelings about this year all day and struggling hard. Partly because I always try my hardest to keep this space as positive a place as possible and this here is not entirely that. Mainly because I've found myself for the past few days, and in spite of all I've been writing, very sort of bad and sad and strange about my writing, finding it a little meaningless, a little mediocre. Difficult because one, obviously, but two, now that I want to say something good and positive about what I've produced this year, words are falling flat and failing me. Frustrating because now that a year in which I've done so much new is coming to an end, I find myself lacking any sort of inner excitement for all this said newness. Typical and normal feelings within the creative process, I think, but still frustrating to navigate nevertheless.

What I'm clinging to through this, though, and fiercely, is you all who have been so astoundingly kind and supportive and generous to me all year long. You lovely people who read my work and talk to me about it and have befriended me in all the most special of ways. I appreciate you all so much, and sometimes I feel I say it so much it becomes redundant, but at a certain point words fail to express the magnitude of gratitude and so the only way I can continue to show my thanks of you all is to say it a million more times, and then keep writing for those of you who have been by my side all year long.

The point I'm trying to make, I think, is that sometimes, despite feeling successful or fulfilled or happy, or what have you, in some ways, sometimes there's still that naggy, prickly feeling that something is lacking or not right or not enough. I think this is so normal, not just in a creative process, but in all aspects of what it is to grow up and build a life and become a person and and and... Ennui or self perceived inadequacy or the highs and lows will ebb and flow, but what you all have taught me, and so thoroughly, is that the most important things are the little ones, the funny ones and the sentimental ones and the honest ones. These are all things you all have given me this year and for which I'll literally never be able to stop saying thank you for to you all, my dear, dear pocket friends who live in my phone.

I found myself in a very wrong direction last year, then entirely directionless this year. Next year, I think and I hope I'll get it all kind of sort of right, course correct and end up in a good spot. I hope if any of you are at all feeling a little blue like I am, please know you're not alone, and I'm right there with you. I think of you all always and I wish you all nothing but happiness and success and love in the new year 🤍🤍

#vic talks #end of year thoughts

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ugh-yoongi · 1 year

Note

Congratulations on the milestone!✨✨

I wanted to request a bts headcanon! There was this one trend on tiktok last year that was like “you’re not dating but you’re not just friends either” lol so I guess like a bts in a situation type of thing? Thank you thank you! 💕

tysm!

i know exactly what trend you're talking about and i was never sure if that was supposed to be, like, an actual situationship or like that more cutesy in-between crush & dating stage so i'll try to do both.

once again tag teamed this with @hot-soop bc i have no original thoughts.

come tell me how wrong i am :)

headcanons: bts in a situationship

seokjin —

has the least situationship energy out of all of them imo. mr. domestic king of commitment probably wouldn't be able to handle the uncertainty of it, but could be convinced if the other party wasn't ready/didn't want to commit.

(let's be real, it's impossible to not be in love with him, so [rihanna voice] good luck with booking that situationship u speak of.)

thinks he's being chill and in actuality is being the least chill person alive. red ears & neck 25/8.

does the "let's just play one more round of mario kart" con until the next thing you know it's 2am and the only way you're getting home is an overpriced rideshare, so whoops, might as well stay over, what would you like for breakfast?

strikes me as the type that'd be similar in that in-between stage, too, but way more acts of service.

picnics in the park, polaroid pictures of things that remind him of you, beats that video game level you're stuck on without you even having to ask, rambles on and on about his webtoons, chill weekends spent together at home.

yoongi —

completely down for a situationship. might be made for it, actually. you don't even need to ask.

however. realizes he's Emotionally Compromised and has his "oh shit wait what the fuck" moment months in. good luck sorting that mess out!

yoongi: it is very obvious i have feelings for this person and it is very obvious where we stand with one another.

also yoongi: disappears for a week bc of work and doesn't say a word.

also also yoongi: casually shows up at 3am and wants to hang out like disappearing without a word wasn't at all weird and confusing as fuck.

also also also yoongi: has the nerve to be confused when you call it off because he doesn't seem interested.

spends the next few months overthinking literally everything and reappears with a wall of text detailing everything he likes about you.

in that more cutesy in-between: playlists, "do you wanna hear what i've been working on?", open the door please it's 1am and yoongi's outside with takeout, absolutely giddy when he gets to teach you about his interests.

hobi —

can't see him being all that different from the way he'd be in an actual relationship, tbh, which is both a blessing and a curse.

a f f e c t i o n a t e

(but is it "i like you and want to be with you" affection or "i do this with literally everyone there is no way to tell if it's something more" affection?)

king of overcommunicating! good morning texts, phone calls before bed, memes and silly pictures throughout the day.

wants to trade ootd pics. sends you one everyday even if you don't reciprocate. pouts for days if you playfully roast his fit, but sometimes he needs someone to be honest about those questionable shoes he wears.

somehow knows literally every person to exist. has a friend who works at that cool new club downtown. the gallery with that hot new exhibit. knows someone who knows someone who works with that band you can never get tickets to see.

ensures you will never want for anything while you're with him.

namjoon —

ooh boy.

quiet. a lil obsessive. observant. can definitely be jealous. the kind of guy who loves to think he's good at situationships until he's in one and realizes very quickly he's not.

has a natural urge to play games to test you then have an existential crisis about whether that makes him a bad person.

wants to have all of your attention but will not ask for it. wants intensity but questions whether that’s sustainable long term.

ghosts when he’s in his feelings but writes you long, thoughtful paragraphs when he’s drunk. "that one guy who jerked you around in college" vibes.

will break your back and your heart at the same time.

in that cute in-between: museum dates. meetups in the park in the middle of the night to stare at the stars and get all philosophical. let's go try out that new distillery and catch that new arthouse film after. does this guy even have friends? because it's been 8 years and you still haven't met them.

jimin —

fun until it isn't.

lively and sweet and easy until it isn't.

flirts with literally everyone but gets real petty and kinda mean if you do the same.

thinks he isn't good enough. wants compliments and validation. another chronic overthinker. playful banter until he takes it too seriously and needs reassurance that you do actually like him.

not a ghoster but also not good at ending things so just lets it go stale and wither away.

dates? drinking and dancing. maybe one of those sip and paints. tickets to the ballet. competition shows at his place with takeout.

cuddly and affectionate but why does he call all of his friends his soulmate?

in the in-between: loves showing you off. would probably love to do your makeup. sickeningly sweet comments on all your ig selfies. always holding your hand.

taehyung —

intense. has a tendency to get a lil self-centered and disappear in that big noggin of his.

physical rather than emotional. will blow your back out in 10 different ways before he tells you he likes you.

(and only does this at 5am when he's drunk and just spent the last half hour crying to jimin on the phone.)

insecure so he plays it carefree and silly, but, dear reader, it was not, in fact, carefree and silly.

golden hour. takes the best photos of you on film. paints you silly things and nearly cries when you actually display them. can't cook but tries making a date of cooking together anyway; cons you into paying for the takeout after it inevitably fails. record stores. red wine.

jungkook —

either a major fuckboy or the most sensitive man on the planet there is really no in between here.

either never commits or is ready to get married the second time you hang out.

no chill. someone please remind him to be normal about this.

j e a l o u s !

facetimes you in the middle of the night just because.

learns all your favorite songs on guitar. loves a photobooth; keeps the film strip in his wallet. teaches you how to play video games but gets really pouty when you wind up being better than him. diners at 2am; a milkshake with two straws. obnoxious gym selfies. pretends he doesn't want to sing your girl group songs at noraebang yet suspiciously knows all the choreography.

shy shy shy

#work: 1kfm #bts headcanons #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts x reader #jewel answers #jewel writes

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greenerteacups · 14 days

Note

Hey GTC, I have always been such a fan of your Tumblr and your engagement with the fandom. However I must say that as of late, the questions you’re being asked most often are essentially variants of “Will X happen?” or “Will Y character do Z like in the book?” or even, “I’m noticing Theme A, will it continue in future chapters?”

A significant element of the fun that you’ve created for Lionheart readers is that we don’t know which elements and events of the JKR texts you’ll preserve untouched and which you’ll turn into the sixth and seventh year Lionheart storylines. I adore making my guesses to which parts of canon you’ll play with and which parts you’ll completely and utterly upend. Unfortunately, questions that ask about canon events in books 5-7 ruin so much of the fun.

Historically, you’ve used the Ask box to provide us with analyses of your own work and characterizations, but I feel as if recently you are often indulging questions about books 5, 6, and 7. I hate to say it, but I even feel that your answers veer into spoiler territory. I used to lurk your Tumblr incessantly, but since I’ve started to see this influx in predictive questions these past couple weeks, I’ve been avoiding the app.

It’s such a gift that we get to engage with your work on such a vibrant epistolary and interactive space as your Tumblr. I know that you can’t control what fans ask, but I humbly request that you please consider refusing to answer questions that ask you to ponder future events. Thank you for your tender care to everyone in the fandom. ❤️‍🔥🦁🧡

Hey, what's up, dude. I hear you. Sorry about that.

The problem is that the line between spoilers and not spoilers is totally subjective, and the line between "spoilers that are fine" and "spoilers that bother me" is also totally subjective. I don't know where you are on it, but we probably don't line up, and that's okay. I just don't know how I'd begin to sort out questions that one person considers "too much" from what someone else just thinks is fun analysis. My hard rules are as follows: I don't answer any questions about future ships, events, or arcs (and I get a lot). I haven't revealed anything that I would be unhappy to discover in a Tumblr askbox instead of a fic itself. True, I've dropped teaser/trailer stuff for 6 and 7, but to be honest, even looking over the stuff I've posted recently — I hate to say it, but I disagree with you. It isn't spoilers. Not to me, anyway.

But that's just me! There's no right or wrong answer here, it's just a coordination problem of how we can both cultivate social media experiences that make us happy. For instance: I like answering questions about my fic. It makes me happy to talk to people who want to know what happens. It encourages me and gets me excited to write about it, and I don't believe that any of the content on my Tumblr spoils what's going to happen. I don't really want to stop doing that, so I'm not going to. If that means you and other readers whose spoiler thresholds are below mine can't engage with my Tumblr, that's a natural consequence of us having different attitudes about media, and it was bound to happen. I'm sorry that that's the case, but it would bring me much more grief for you to injure your reading experience than it would for you to avoid my (largely irrelevant) e-journal full of random metatext. I love my fic, and I love my readers, you most certainly included; I do not, candidly speaking, love my Tumblr account. And for what it's worth, I absolutely do not think anything I've written on here is worth diminishing your experience of a story you enjoy. It wouldn't jive with my philosophy of literature and art.

So here's what I got: I'll continue tagging spoilers about past and current events as [#lionheart spoilers], and if a question makes reference to events not published, I'll use the tag [#prognosticating]. That way you can block the tag, and other readers can enjoy content that fits under their threshold of non-spoilerism. If our thresholds still don't line up, then I think the only solution may really be to block the [#lionheart spoilers] tag altogether. That's probably not the answer you're looking for, but it's the best I can do.

#greenteacup asks #I am doing the best I can #it's hard to get questions about what's going to happen because I do try to give tidbits if i can't answer the main point #just so people will have something? but it's rough to know I'm disappointing people on both sides #as is inevitable really. those who want to know more and want to know less. you will never make everyone happy #but also— if a creator isn't writing stuff you want to read #I suspect you already know at some level the answer just has to be that you stop reading #I sometimes debate if having a Tumblr is worth the stress of trying to manage an internet presence #I generally think it is

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duckies27 · 1 month

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I'm not one to normally interact with drama, but at this point, I have waited way too long to just sit here in silence. There is a creator on this platform named Hamlet Unfortunately, also known as Kenny, and I can’t just stay sitting on this.

I despise this man for multiple reasons, and I'll get into all of them here. In my opinion, it's not fair that he continues to do this sort of thing and just gets away with it, getting love and attention while doing so. All while other people similar to me get 5 to 10 likes on some of our work. I don't want to spend this entire time just completely thrashing him. However, there’s too much evidence to just ignore.

My friend Dork (@zestfeast ) and I are on a server with another Discord friend (who I won't name for their own sake, I don't want to drag them into this whole thing). I met the two of them on the fan-made Stinky Dragon discord, and we bonded pretty quickly over our love of the characters and our love of the cast. The show was something we bonded over and we wanted to spend as much time together by talking about it, without other people getting in the way. So the third party made a server and invited the two of us. We had a great time for the first two and a half weeks. It was a safe space with all the people that I trusted. We are all afab and personally, that makes me more comfortable as someone who is a cis woman. We talked about all sorts of things mainly relating to our enjoyment of the characters, coming up with AUs, and coming up with stories, all of which were pretty fun. At the time of the start of the server, I was personally barely baby 18, while the other two were and are still minors. This may not seem like a problem, but the problem came when. Kenny or Hamlet Unfortunately, as you know him, joined the server.

He was a friend with the third party and both me and Dork were completely comfortable with him joining. It wasn't our place to choose considering it is the third party's actual server. We sat and talked for a little bit, but after joining he didn't say anything. I didn't think anything of it, I'm also pretty shy but he was just awkward. Once again, I didn't think anything of it but then we started talking more. He started talking more. I wasn't a part of this conversation simply because I was at work at the times he was more vocal. I'm super busy, I work from 3:00 to 7:00 every single day right after school and it's too much hands-on work for me to come and check Discord all the time. A lot of the big conversations would happen when I wasn't there, and while I was currently doing things that took my full attention. I am a custodian worker at a middle school, I'm constantly working around kids, I'm constantly working around other people and it makes it hard to be on my phone. I missed the majority of these conversations, but to make sure that this was fully correct, I made sure to read back to all of the things that he said. It's not fair to judge a book by its cover without fully reading the contents. I read over 600 messages all sent over the course of a few weeks and I'll be dead honest, they were pretty terrifying to read back. Especially someone who has been around victims of the jokes he was mentioning. These included sexual content, drug jokes, and stuff that no person should ever joke about, especially not with minors.

It started simple enough. We just were talking about art relating to the characters and I'll be honest, some things weren't exactly always super family-friendly. We try to keep it light and airy the majority of the time within the server, but we had a few dedicated chats for the not-so-family-friendly stuff that includes some maybe more suggestive fan art. Most of the time it was and is pretty clean. We tried our best to censor what wasn't, especially because we had two minors on the server and people could always glance over our shoulders. I was in, particular, very aware of this and made sure that I didn't post anything without censoring first. One of the first things Kenny said to one of our minors on the server was "I'll suck your dick", when talking about fan art that Dork had done. Dork is very young compared to me or possibly him. I don't know how old he is but I just know that this comment made me uncomfortable reading back on it, especially because Dork is like a brother to me. I would protect him with my life if I could. I love this kid and would unironically do anything for him. They continued talking and he was incredibly mean to Dork, often calling him stupid and often acting as if his actions were childish and not as important as Kenny’s actions. When Dork tried to bring up another subject, relating to theater, not only did Kenny call him a fool, but he also said “I don't want to suck your dick anymore" continuing the uncomfortable, NSFW environment that he was starting to form.

As many of you who've read my page know, I like writing angst but I also enjoy writing stuff that's not so family friendly. I like pushing my boundaries and learning how to write, as an adult now, because it's a way of expressing myself that people don't need to see. It was a personal server thing that I kept it censored to protect people who didn't want to see it at that time. At one point I put out a request question saying I would write anything anyone wanted smut, angst, or fluff. I like writing requests and I like writing gifts for friends. It's a personal love language of mine. Kenny stumbled around for a bit, trying to come up with an idea before eventually asking me for Sliqueborg smut. I don't like the ship. It's not my thing, I'm more into BrinkBorg or the canon Lynn Mer and Kyborg. So I asked, “what are your headcanons?” I might as well be proper when I write this story. I don't want to come up with some idea that he didn’t agree with. He went to the headcanon channel and gave me one of the most inappropriate and jarring strings of sentences I have ever heard. Not only did he make our beloved wood elf incredibly abusive, but he also took Slique’s character and destroyed it. It was horrible to listen to and even more horrible to read back. I am 18, a barely illegal adult and the other two are minors on this server. I was terrified to see that he willingly put this down on paper for anyone to see. He only censored the thing because I had personally asked him earlier on.

I already was feeling uncomfortable with this guy. He was being pushy and mean and a lot of his headcanons were hard to swallow, and more and more times he brought up sexual things. I have a personal headcanon for the Groethe crew that relates to the musical instruments they would play. Ella plays violin, Mathilde sings, Barney plays flute, and Chip plays French horn. I thought it was a cute thing because of how Ella and Chip would very well complement each other, but Kenny took the opportunity to make a very inappropriate joke. That made me very uncomfortable because it was about Chip, who I see as a close similarity to my father. Chip acts and says things like my father would, so hearing this very sexual joke automatically took me out of the conversation. I hated it. I hated the idea of it. Not only that but there was one point in time when Dork was opening up about something very personal (which I won't share here) However, I came in at the worst possible time because I was on break. It happened to be insanely out of context, so of course I was like “What the hell?” But I didn't say it in a mean way. I meant it in a kind, confused way, similar to how an older sibling would walk into a conversation that you're having, that happens to be weird. Kenny continued to then look down at Dork, calling them dear and darling as if they didn't understand what I was saying. I came in and I was like “Wow this is kind of weird”, but that was it. I didn't push or prod. I didn't judge them beyond just that it was a weird message to get out of context and went back to work. Kenny belittled Dork for another 20 minutes after I went back to work.

Dork came to me the next day or so, in tears. They were terrified. They felt horrible. Kenny was being such an asshole to him and he couldn't do anything about it. It's a third party’s server and Kenny was a friend to the third party member. We didn't feel comfortable talking right to her right away. So instead the two of us hopped on a 2-hour long call on Discord to talk about our grievances. I helped Dork write a message to Kenny but instead of apologizing in response, he just said that it was his humor, a mask to protect himself. As someone who uses a mask constantly to protect myself from trauma, this pissed me off. His mask was being a jerk, his mask was being mean, and most importantly his mask was being overly sexual when it wasn't required.

Another thing that he often did was make fun of drug culture. Make fun of the “druggies”, including snorting pain pills and other issues that should not be joked about, while talking about his headcanons relating to Slique and Kyborg. He also mentioned rape, which I am completely uncomfortable with as a cis woman who has dealt with uncomfortable situations that deal with my body. I hated this. He came in as a cis male (based on what he said himself) completely invading a comfortable and safe space. Kenny is not the type of person I would leave my drink with at a party. I felt uncomfortable talking to him the majority of the time but I didn't want to bring it up because I didn't want to hurt the third party's feelings. After Dork came to me in tears, I said enough is enough and I reached out to her anyway. Thankfully the third party was kind, kicked him out of the server and I haven't had to interact with him since.

However, I've seen issues within the Tumblr fandom, the fandom that's taken me so warmly and held me to a higher standard than I've held myself for years. I love to see the community interacting with my posts and I love seeing my moots talk to me in such a kind and happy way. However, I know there are multiple people within the community, one who I talked to and wishes not to be named, has had issues with him. Most people see SliqueBorg as a very abusive and toxic ship due to his headcanons. He's ruined a ship, that though I don't agree with, is valid. Not only that, but he also still ships Mudd with multiple characters including Gum Gum (This is just vague posting and suggestive tagging, but it's very easy to see him doing something like this). which is a huge issue on its own. He doesn't care about if someone is a minor and if they would even want to be in a relationship.

During the whole “Mudd Gate '', which is what I'm calling the one actual problem we've ever had within this community, when actual Aro ace people were coming out and talking about how they didn't like how Mudd was being shipped with characters. A lot of people agreed, including me, but Kenny came onto the server and started complaining along with the third party (who will again, stay unnamed). Both of them came with swinging swords, dragging down the entire Tumblr community saying it was unfair for them to completely block out a ship component just because of a canon sexuality given by Jon himself. It took me a little bit to feel comfortable within it as someone who's Demi who was personally was seeing Mudd as Demi. But now I see the issues of my ways. How little aro ace representation there really is in the world, that is untouched by fandoms. Just look at Alstor from Hazbin Hotel. He's constantly shipped with people despite being a canon Aro ace character.

Through this all, I just want to say that we should stop supporting him. We should stop giving him a platform. Not only is he a fake fan just with how he characterizes Kyborg but he also has issues with sensitive topics that he will continue to joke about until the very day that he dies. I can tell that he thinks a lot of people are sensitive. Just saying things are offensive for clout or some other reasons, but a lot of the things that he actually says are very offensive and very inappropriate around the people he's been around. His actions almost took Dork away from this fandom. It isn't as bad as some other things that have come up in the past relating to other communities (*cough cough* Wilbur *cough cough*) If you hate me for making this post then I'll just say I don't care. I am planning on blocking him after I finish this post or at least until after he can react. I don't want to just completely block him from seeing his criticism but I will stop supporting any posts I have seen. I will make sure that he is no longer on my dash because he has done things that I am severely uncomfortable with. He does not bring good vibes to this community and he especially should not be allowed to continue being in the fandom if he's going to spread such hate. This is a kind and loving fandom that has taken me and others with open arms in times of struggle and times of pain. He has made it uncomfortable to be in. I cannot support him and I implore the rest of you to do the same after his actions.

#tftsd fandom #problematic creators #tales from the stinky dragon #this is all true #i have proof

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marimayscarlett · 5 months

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This is a FREE pass to deep dive into ANY of your favorite thing(s) about Mr. Zee Kay!!! I wanna hear EVERYTHING about your favorite thing, I love seeing your deep dives and essays on the most important subject to exist ❤️

❗ CAUTION. LONG-ISH POST AHEAD. ❗

Hi! First of all:

Kissies for you for sending me this ask, thank you so much! This has been sitting in my inbox for a while now since it took me ages to decide what this post should be about. I didn't want to make yet another fashion/stage outfit/etc post, so I decided to do something different with it.

I decided this will be a long ass post about Richard's outspokenness and honesty in interviews and some of my favourite quotes/topics he spoke about in the past. This man has A LOT to say and sometimes is brutally honest with his answers. You ask him how he's doing or what he thinks about XYZ? Prepare for a lengthy and detailed reply. You ask him something silly or boring? Be prepared he quite actually reacts quite directly on it.

This list will be sorted by three topics: 1. Quotes regarding work with Rammstein, Emigrate and in general, 2. Quotes about his personal life and finally, 3. Unhinged shit Richard says since this man sometimes has no filter.

All interviews will be linked, german quotes are translated into english. Prepare yourself, this will be long and self-indulgend and I'm probably the only person who's really interested in this stuff but i don't CARE, I love reading about and listening to this man and I'll use this post to my liking thanks to this lovely, lovely anon 💞 Let's get started 👀🤍

Richard on working with Rammstein and Emigrate and music in general

In this interview, Richard talks about being put into the right wing corner by the german media and how hard it is for him and the band: "You want to shout it out loud and convince people otherwise, only to find that nobody listens because nobody wants to know. They want you in this corner. That was very disillusioning."

Here he gives an example for his immeasurable perfectionism and how he tries to protect himself from it: "I spent a lot of time recording guitars over and over again. I ended up giving my guitar engineer the key to the locker where my guitar cabinets are and told him “Do not give me this key back”, otherwise I would have still been in there recording guitars right now.

In the same interview, he also gives an example how the whole Mutter problem came into play: "So if I’d come up with 45 ideas, then others in the band may feel they’d have to come up with 45 ideas as well. There was lot of pressure going on within Rammstein because of that."

Here Richard talks about how he, back in the GDR days, wandered from peer group to peer group to find his style: "I've always been bored of sticking with just one group of people. The metalheads got drunk too often. So I moved on - and I found that refreshing - to the punks …" Interviewer: … who didn't drink any less. "No, exactly. And they were also dirtier (laughs). Then I was with the bluesmen, and they always went to these blues fairs. And because they also drank a lot, they could sleep well, whereas I, who didn't drink, always woke up at three in the morning because I was so cold - we only had these thin cotton sleeping bags."

Richard on the amount of hours which go in one song of his [interview]: "At some point, I calculated that it takes me about 1000 hours on average for a song to reach the listener. But I don't want to think too much about the time involved. That would just be frustrating."

On his relationship with Flake and that he would be the one member of the band Richard would play an Emigrate album as a test run to [interview]: "Although someone like Flake would probably be very open to that. We have a lot of respect for each other and are in a lively exchange. For example, I regularly listen to his radio show - and call him afterwards to ask him what weird stuff he's been saying. (laughs)"

2. Richard on his personal life

In my alltime favourite podcast with Richard, he admist to seemingly being a quite difficult person to live with (apparently, only his daughter is able to and is relaxed enough to bring him inner peace). He hates talking in the morning, needs time for himself with no talking and reflect on things and sometimes is afraid/annoyed that he has to explain himself to others (since other people tend to take offense because of this). This is one of the reasons why he definitely can't imagine living together with a girlfriend again.

Here he talks about the evolution of friendship with Till: Intervier: How has your friendship changed over more than 30 years? Richard: "Well, as it goes in life: Unfortunately, there's never a happy ending. You should only meet friends once or twice a month. It's unnatural for men to be extremely close for decades. At some point you want to be left alone." Interviewer: You two are more like colleagues these days? Richard: "Sounds stupid, but that's kind of how it is. But I still have a basic trust: If anything happens, I know I can call Till and he'll be there, just like the others."

Here Richard admits to his immense moodiness at times: "I am a very moody person, my mood sometimes changes by the hour."

Why he likes western movies so much [interview]: "It might sound strange, but I have really early childhood memories of my father watching these cowboy movies and falling asleep… that ended up being part of my upbringing somehow."

And his fond memory of the wild times with Till after the wall came down [interview]: "Because at that time, in every house there was a techno or rave party, and we would go there, and 7 in the morning, he would bring his daughter to school, and then come back and we would stay there into the daytime, and dance to these electric beats — I mean, can you imagine us dancing like that?"

How he answers to a fan question in which movie/show he'd like to be a part of (musically or in general) [article]: "I would have loved to have been in Game of Thrones. I really love fantasy worlds, you know? Also Westworld."

3. Welcome to the unhinged RZK corner aka "Shit RZK says":

In this interview, he describes his relationship with music like this: "I believe the music itself must be the king, but I want to be the queen." Alrighty then 👀

Just overall this conversation with him thinking about filming himself having sex [interview]:

The Gauntlet: Do you always have that funny smile during sex? [regarding the Pussy MV]

Richard: "I actually never watched myself but you have a point. I really should watch myself or videotape it. I never really...I can do it. I did that a long time ago but every girl is different. Do I really smile? Sometimes I guess, I will have to check that out. You really have me thinking on that one."

This man seemingly tried every therapy under the sun, which is good, but this one left me a bit speechless [interview]: "I always had the feeling that I was a king without a nation. That was always in my head and I once did reincarnation therapy and experienced this life. It was really interesting and this song came out of that [song: Born on my own].

Here he admits to throwing a guitar at Lemmy Kilmister: "It was the third time a roadie had given me an out-of-tune guitar. So I threw it at him. Unfortunately, Lemmy was standing there watching the show from the side of the stage. But I didn't know that, I just saw Lemmy disappear. That was very embarrassing for me."

Or he throws his credits cards at sales women (how about some anger management my guy): "The last time I was there [New York], I wanted to pay for a coffee in a café with a hundred dollar bill. But not because I wanted to be a big shot, but because I just had this one bill in my pocket. The sales woman hissed at me and threw the bill back over the counter. I just thought: She's out of her mind. I then threw my credit card at her. I was really angry."

If you made it to the end of this post, I really applaud you and apologize for my rambling yet again 🙏 I could go on and on (I didn't even started with quoting the video interviews), but I think since I'm the only one who's into this, I stop right here 😅 Have some smiley Richard as a reward 🍀

#rammstein #richard kruspe #ask #i'm so sorry dear anon that this took so long #but well #i am delusional and way over the top about this man and I admit to it #thank you for this ask!!!

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greta-van-rose · 11 months

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Middle of the Night🌙(Part 1)// J.T.K

Pairing ; Jake Kiszka x reader

series

Trope - Friends to Lovers (slow burn with angst)

A/N; I had the idea so i'm doing it... also I'm a college student and will try and update as much as I can !!

Warnings: Alcohol consumption (that's all I can think of)

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You've been best friends with the twins since second grade. Josh had sat with you inside during recess because you had forgotten your homework at home; he had actually gotten himself in trouble by talking back to the teacher and swears that he did it on purpose. "No one should be punished for an honest mistake, she was being ridiculous!" and a beautiful friendship had bloomed.

It feels like that was just yesterday, and all of a sudden you were getting ready to graduate. Twins still by your side along with their siblings and his youngest brothers best friend Daniel.

Currently sitting in the Kiszka's backyard beside the fire. As a "Last Hoorah" Josh said when he presented the idea.

"How does it feel knowing Monday you will officially be done with the grand 'Frankenmuth High'" Sam questioned with a huff taking the seat next to you. Arm slung around your shoulders drink in the other hand alcohol very apparent on his breath. "All I have to say is good riddance" you reply slight giggle while you slightly lean into him to keep him steady.

"Awh come on sunshine, it wasn't all that bad" Josh jokes standing in front of you two. "yeah yeah Joshua, now if I can be excused I want another drink" You say holding up an empty cup "Come on love, you can't leave me" Sam groans reaching out to you as you got up, you had a hunch he has a crush on you, it's very sweet but Sam is a heavy flirt, all the Kiszka boy's are. "Let the poor girl be Sam" Josh steps in sitting next to Sam. "I'll wait for you my love!" Sam dramatically shouts for everyone in a 5 mile radius to hear. You giggle walking past a group of people sitting around Jake, sharing stories of the year.

The relationship you had with Jake was different from Josh and Sam. Recently it's taken a turn for the worse. There's been some weird tension that came out of nowhere. He doesn't call you by any of the sweet nicknames him and his twin had given you growing up, any sort of physical touch gone, even glances your way during class that turned into making stupid faces from across the room trying to make the other person laugh had disappeared. You had decided to distance yourself from him, assuming he had a girlfriend and didn't want to cross an boundaries, which you respected but also thought he cared enough to acknowledge your existence or give an explanation.

Making your way into the kitchen to make another drink and grab Sam a bottle of water, you hear the back door open and close, choosing to ignore whoever just came in a continue with your drink.

"Sammy boy is really putting the moves there on ya" you hear from behind you, recognizing the voice as Jake's you tense up a bit. "He sure is, everyone in a 5 mile radius can hear him" he chuckles and comes to stand by you. "Can't blame the kid" is all he says grabbing the drink you had just made and turning around, you lightly grab his arm-feeling him tense "that's mine Kiszka, make your own. And what do you mean by that?" You say facing his back.

He finally faces you, eyes scanning your face. Having a war within himself, he has something he wants to say but he just won't.

After what feels like a lifetime of silence, he shakes his head muttering "nothing" and walking outside. Being left there dumbfounded, you have no idea what to do. You finally choose to follow him back outside and getting some kind of explanation. You must have sat there for longer than you thought because by the time you got to the fire Jake had his arm around another girl and didn't even look your way.

Deciding to let it go no matter the heaviness you felt in your chest, you walk back over to Sam Josh and Danny who were trying to "go find bigfoot". "My love has returned!" Sam cheers running to you "Glad you missed me Sammy" chuckling as you return the hug. "You seem sad what's wrong" he rushes out looking at your face. Josh shot a look in your direction with a raised eyebrow, sending him a look of 'i'll tell you later' while returning back to Sammy "I just missed you and couldn't stand to be away from you any longer" squishing his face and releasing the hug. " "Alright lover boy let's go to bed" Josh tries to drag him in the house. "No I can not deny my girl of my presence" he fights coming back to you,"I'll be here when you get up you need to lay down" He reluctantly gives in after I pinky promised to be here until he gets up in the morning.

Danny went inside with Sam, during this fiasco all the other people were gone from the fire and you assume they had all left, but no sign of Jake. Josh waves you over to the fire "come on talk to me" he pats your back as you take a seat next to him.

Josh was your person. He could read you like a book and knew exactly how to be there for you. He is your number one, but you hadn't talked to him about the Jake situation. You didn't want to put him in an awkward position.

So you sat there in silence for a minute debating if you wanted to let it all out. "You know you can talk to me right, about anything or anyone. I'm always here for you." He reassures sensing the state you're in. "Even if it's someone you share DNA with." you mutter. "Even if it's someone I share DNA with."

Letting out a sigh you begin, as you talk the angrier and more hurt you get. Alcohol amplifying said emotions, you feel a tear run down your face. "Hold on sunshine" Josh interrupts looking at your face wiping the tears, "not to make you feel bad, but why didn't you tell me any of this. I could have helped or talked to him." he seems hurt. "I didn't want to put you in a bad spot, things were fine just different between us but after tonight I don't know what that means or if I pushed a boundary. I don't want to upset him but I feel like that's all I've been doing and I don't know how." As you wiped your face from the excess tears, Jake was walking towards the fire from the front of the house.

Laying Directly next to you, was his acoustic guitar. Dammit. You quickly wiped your face to make sure it was dry. Just then making eye contact with him, his face flashed with concern and looked like he wanted to comfort. Yet, he grabbed his guitar and said goodnight.

As he walked in the house you turned to Josh "I know exactly what it is" Josh then looked at you with a smile. "How can you be smiling, and how do you know any of that, has he talked to you about this?" your mind is now racing, "I will not be the one to tell you but, I will go confirm it with dear Jacob, but listen to me when I tell you this. You have nothing to worry about because I know how you feel as well" He squeezes your shoulder as he stands up reaching out his hand for you to grab.

"You Kiszka's just hate giving explanations apparently. You stand your ground and don't grab his hand. “Please just trust me on this."He grabs your hand from your lap and pulls you up "On the other hand, you're going to lay down and go to sleep."

You both walk to the house, parting ways as he goes upstairs and you go to sleep in the living room. After grabbing the blankets and pillows you look at the clock and see it's only 1:00 a.m. As you go to lay down, you're still in jeans and didn't plan on staying the night so you didn't grab any clothes. You could go in Ronnie's room and use her's, but felt bad invading her space, so you opted for Josh.

As you're about to knock on the door it swings open, revealing Jake, not wanting to give him a chance to say anything "I didn't plan on staying the night so I was just coming up to ask Josh for some clothes to sleep in." You say slightly avoiding eye contact. "Oh, he's cleaning up outside. I'll grab you some" he motions for you to come in and sit on the bed.

You take a seat on Josh's bed as Jake grabs you clothes from his drawers. He hands you a pair of sweatpants, a faded 'Terry Reid' shirt that looked older than he was, and a 'Frankenmuth High Soccer' hoodie with Kiszka #8 on the back. You mutter a thank you and get up to walk out of the room. Suddenly Jake's gentle grip is felt on your wrist; stopping you in your tracks.

"Goodnight" He finally said and let your wrist go.

You go to the bathroom across the hall to change into the clothes and process whatever it was that just happened. After changing and brushing your teeth you head downstairs to sleep on the couch.

"You know Ronnie's at her friend's house for the night, you don't have to sleep on the couch" Jake says coming around the corner with two glasses of water in his hands.

“I'm okay with the couch, I don’t want to invade her space” you reply, adjusting the blankets and pillows on the couch before laying down, trying to avoid looking at him. “Suit yourself then. Here's water” he said, shrugging and setting the glass on the coffee table. Muttering a quiet “thank you” as you hear him go up the stairs. Sighing trying not to think about the situation with you and Jacob, you can't help but hear Josh’s words echoing in your head as you drift off to sleep.

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#greta van fleet imagine #jake kiszka imagine #jake kiszka #jake gvf #greta van fleet #peaceful army #gvf fic #greta van fleet fan fiction #danny wagner #sam kiszka #jake kiszka x reader #gvf fanfiction

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kimdokja-real · 8 months

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This showed up on my dash today and immediately made me think of Bottom Yoo Joonghyuk and Top Kim Dokja Granted, it's not totally capturing the "KDJ can be the strong one" (cuz he's definitely worked several days in his life) and the (very important and I would love to see more of this) "YJH deserves to be taken care of/is loved" but like... the vibes are there, right?

'fancylad boy-king type' Kim Dokja is literally a Demon King! Demon Kings are dominant and powerful, not a false sense of power only to make it hot when he bottoms (like what most JoongDok is like when Kim Dokja is legitimately powerful).

Yoo Joonghyuk definitely deserves to be taken care of and loved! Gonna write a post about how Yoo Joonghyuk should be appreciated more.

And I literally don't know, maybe it's the image, they can't see or it's hard to picture a muscular man at the bottom, and a slender man at the top (he's gonna enhance his body to save Yoo Joonghyuk though) but to be honest I look for personality and Yoo Joonghyuk's rough, gruff, cold personality makes him a very cute bottom. Cold but when he's bottom, he gets all hot and flustered, it's so cute. It's the moe gap. And Kim Dokja's sly messing with people personality makes him a hot top.

It is always this way, not only for Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk. For a bigger male and smaller male yaoi pairing (when seriously, Kim Dokja is almost freaking 180cm, just 4cm away, he isn't small, he isn't that smaller than Yoo Joonghyuk.) There are certain things people especially girls want to see in their favourite characters (I mean yaoi is originally made for women), from their own experience likely and there will be self-projecting (or just writing off own experiences?) to a point it's only human and it's for some reason easier to see the more slender man bottoming. Because it's that way in yaoi manga, and guys are stereotypically masculine too I guess.

But yaoi manga is fetishization of gay people and pairings, just for people to enjoy the sex scenes, and for female empowerment in Japan (I did a paper on that!), maybe a little cute romance, and it may not be the same for an actual male-male couple. But people have their kinks and from yaoi manga, most just automatically see the more masculine guy topping and the slender guy bottoming.

Also Kim Dokja is much more popular and loved than Yoo Joonghyuk as a character, most people prefer their favourite character bottoming. It's not even about his personality but people's preferences. There's also a kink of the intelligent one bottoming and being out of sorts, losing himself in pleasure too, which is what a lot of JoongDok end up with. I actually do understand that kink, I had it for Orihara Izaya from Durarara, but I made sure to keep him in character enough. (To the extent people said my writing was like the novel that Izaya acted like Izaya from the novel, and yeah generally people don't do that, I'm an analyst so it's different and I can analyze a writing style and write it but the point is to try. Anyway I've gotten the same feedback from Dokjoong fans too so I'm glad.) And even though Kim Dokja is an intelligent maybe vulnerable character, I just prefer him as Top, because he'd be a really unique top. (Which Top is self-deprecating yet desires? Only Kim Dokja.)

Kim Dokja being OOC in most JoongDok fics reminds me of Orihara Izaya being OOC in most Shizaya fics. Er so Izaya is just an intelligent character like Kim Dokja, he claims to love humans and people, girls like him a lot, he's kind of cool as the villain and mastermind but he's slender and girls love to make him cute. He was the most popular character of the anime. This guy was so popular even people who didn't watch the show knew him from cosplays and memes. And people would ask what anime is he from.

I'll be honest and say I shipped the more popular pairing Shizaya (Izaya the more slender one on the bottom) so I enjoyed those fics at first when I entered the fandom and just wanted more (which I think is how a lot of JoongDok shippers feel), but eventually I grew bored of them because it was always the same thing. Protective Shizuo and cute Izaya (no idea where his intelligence went), and I just wrote my own. I still shipped the more slender one on the bottom but my favourite was actually Shizuo not Izaya lol, but when Izaya was top he didn't treat Shizuo well, so I shipped Izaya the more slender one on the bottom. JoongDok really reminds me of Shizaya, which is actually a fairly popular pairing. People knew the pairing even if they didn't know the anime Durarara. Like how people thought Omniscient Reader was BL because of JoongDok. But for Izaya, he acted as a girl online in canon while for Yoo Joonghyuk and Kim Dokja, it's not Kim Dokja who was a girl, it was Yoo Joonghyuk who was a girl in canon. So why is Yoo Joonghyuk not bottom? ...Pretty confusing for me.

People asked me a lot about Izaya, a lot, to the extent that I had to create an FAQ on my tumblr blog for Izaya analyses. Even though my favourite was Shizuo and people knew that. People asked me on Shizuo too but there were less. I bet if I shipped JoongDok, and did analyses on Kim Dokja, and wrote JoongDok fics, I would get people asking about Kim Dokja, the point is, it's just the character really. It's just the character popularity that leads to content being created in the way they're seen as. When you have such a beloved character that people go back to the novel and try to analyze it or remember certain scenes or just want to see more of him, that character is bound to be bottom. Because bottoms are loved and Kim Dokja is loved. People want Kim Dokja to be loved. Especially with his huge sacrifice, and taking on everything alone. (But I will say Kim Dokja can still be loved as a Top.)

(And I have a standard of Yoo Joonghyuk being loved at least for my own work, he needs to be IC enough.)

Sorry, just reminiscing about shipping a popular pairing. But Dokjoong is worth it.

So I believe it has almost nothing to do with Kim Dokja's and Yoo Joonghyuk's characters at all but because Kim Dokja is a super popular and loved character. Is shorter, has a slender body type like in yaoi, etc.

And, from my experience shipping a similar pairing to JoongDok, Kim Dokja is way too smart. He's highly intelligent, and people have trouble writing his intelligence. Kim Dokja is a mastermind character, and how are you supposed to write a mastermind character accurately with his intelligence? Most people aren't masterminds, haha. Anyway, just saying since the same thing happened with Izaya, he was the mastermind villain, too intelligent, and people couldn't write him accurately (people even thanked me for analyzing him so they could understand him!), so they just made him cute and somewhat cool and too angsty which was OOC, and made his partner Shizuo a brute who was rough, lustful and glaring (reminds me of JoongDok Yoo Joonghyuk.) which Izaya would always give into (even though he taunted Shizuo in canon).

And I think people just want something simple. So a cliche simple dynamic such as cold, rough top and submissive sly bottom draws many people. People in fandoms generally don't look for complicated things, they just want something easy to love, and angst (no matter what fandom or character, angst is always very popular. Angst is a given.).

Lastly, Kim Dokja is a lonely character, repressing his feelings, like Izaya, and it makes people who love him want him to be bottom and loved even more.

Just speaking about my experience with a similar ship lol.

(By the way if anyone is interested, Durarara is an anime about a teenage boy moving to a new city, meeting his friend, and discovering its mysteries, secrets and urban legends and being involved with a huge gang called the Dollars. Izaya is the mastermind villain. He pulls the strings behind the scenes and is incredibly intelligent. It's a great anime with more than 1 season, I recommend it and the light novels.)

When, when you think about it, doesn't it make more sense for the loyal one to bottom since, well he's loyal and will give the one he serves anything he wants. (It'll be hot too)

i think I said a bit much but the person asked why so I thought of...Why.

Also like imagine Yoo Joonghyuk crying, maybe because he's tired or hurt at Kim Dokja's words, Kim Dokja would freak out and wonder what the hell he did wrong, and - and it would be character development and exploring Kim Dokja's self-deprecating character like 'I made Yoo Joonghyuk cry, I deserve to die' 'Why do I care so much?' like vulnerable Yoo Joonghyuk can really activate Kim Dokja's character, Kim Dokja exploring his character, exploring Kim Dokja's character!

You know, there are rare exceptions, I've spoken about this before but ChildeZhongli from Genshin Impact, Zhongli who was so loved even by 'dude bros' (would bang his female form, yes he had one) was unequivocally bottom in the ChildeZhongli relationship, but when I searched them this year, ZhongliChilde was suddenly more than ChildeZhongli in A03! Well..........I think it's because Childe got much more loved as a character, so people wanted to see him as bottom more, since he appears everywhere in Genshin. I'm hoping the same thing will happen with Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk, as the manga comes out, maybe people will love Yoo Joonghyuk more. I don't know how since people said the webtoon people don't like Yoo Joonghyuk, taking away his scenes but somehow...maybe. (Genshin fans are much more open-minded than other fans in general though..........they ship almost every pairing and whatever kink but.........somehow, perhaps.)

For me, it's DokJoong because it's Kim Dokja who loves Yoo Joonghyuk the most.

This totally suits Dokjoong, Thanks for sharing! If you wanna talk more about Dokjoong or rant about why feel free to message me privately.

Now this may encourage me to make a post on why I don't ship JoongDok...

#thanks for sharing!#ask #yoo joonghyuk #kim dokja #orihara izaya #dokhyuk #dokjoong #joongdok #orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #top kim dokja #bottom yoo joonghyuk #shizaya #childezhongli #zhonglichilde #childe #zhongli #heiwajima shizuo

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