#which it is mind you. but what if people think my attention seeking bc i dont know how to initiate conversations is annoying....
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new goal . for 200 followers i will post a ghostknife dancing fic. i say this like im even LIKELY to htit hat but ive been sitting at a solid 170ish for ohhh the last 4 months. so. kissy
#i really miss promo posts but idk if people would think its tacky or attention seeking#which it is mind you. but what if people think my attention seeking bc i dont know how to initiate conversations is annoying....
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˚༄ Tìyora Pt 1
༊ Aonung x Fem!Sully!Reader
༊ Enemies to Lovers
༊ 4.4k words
Warnings: competitive violence, bet, kuru pulling, p in v, reader hates Aonung
THIS WILL BE A SERIES!!!!
*Note that reader is practically Neytiri's twin, like mother like daughter. I chose this photo bc when writing I like picturing an OC or different face in my mind, and this one looks different enough from Neytiri's other scenes, but similar enough that reader has all the good Sully genes*
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It’s not like you’d never felt annoyance before. You had, of course. You couldn’t have survived your entire life with Lo’ak as your brother without having felt annoyed, trying to clean up his messed. You wouldn’t have survived your entire life without being annoyed by being berated by Neteyam for cleaning up your messes.
But now, you’re pissed the fuck off. It’s not just that you’d been held hostage by a stupid group of avatars, or that now you’d needed to leave your clan and fly a million miles to seek uturu in the fucking ocean, but it was the people.
Tsireya was a sweetie, Tonowari admired your bravery, and Ronal found your determination endearing (though she kept it to herself). But Aonung was a whole other story.
You could count on your five-fingered hand how many times you’d gone a minute in his presence without wanting to punch his smug stupid face. You could count with no fingers. Because you hadn’t gone a minute without wanting to punch him.
And now here you are, face to face with the fucking skxawng once again. There’d been several interactions like this. When Aonung and his ugly ass skxawng friends were teasing Kiri, you had been the first to throw fists, and the last to be dragged off. When Lo’ak had been left stranded by said skxawng and accomplices, you had come so close to murdering the next Olo’eyktan, several warriors had to drag you off.
You had grown quite the reputation in the week you’d lived in the reef. Furious, violent, unapproachable, dangerous, attentive. And of course, an excellent fighter. The thing was, the Metkayina had yet to see you fight, given that the instances you smacked the shit out of their precious little prince had been out of the public eye.
Which is probably why they’re now watching with bated breath and eyes wide as the moon as you circle the stupid skxawng around the Metkayina training grounds. It was Tonowari’s idea for you to start training with the warriors of your new clan. As he delicately put, it was a good way for you to let everything out without inflicting any damage for non-training reasons.
Across from you, Aonung shifts slightly, tilting his head cockily and gripping the spear in his hand more tightly. He looks determined; it wouldn’t be a great look if he lost to you in front of the whole clan, after being beat up by you twice.
You’re determined too, you guess. Not to prove yourself, no, it doesn’t make any difference to you what all these Metkayina think of you, not when you could fight them even easier than Aonung. But you want, just once more, to beat him.
You’re not completely sure why but beating him gives you this crazy thrill of pleasure. It probably has something to do with his annoyance and squirminess and coldness and sullenness. He’s embarrassed when you beat him, and it’s perfectly clear to you that Aonung isn’t someone who gets embarrassed easily.
You glance across at the watching Metkayina quickly. Tonowari and Ronal are watching expectantly, little smiles on their faces. Tsireya and Rotxo look slightly worried (bless their sweet little souls), but your siblings are watching with broad, confident grins on their faces. Lo’ak looks especially ready to watch you beat up Aonung again.
He makes the first move, the moment you glance at the onlookers. It was an anticipatable offence, and you step quickly aside, ducking under his swing. You move around behind him and kick his leg, bending it and sending him to his knees.
“You look so pretty on your knees,” you grin teasingly. “You should stay down.”
Aonung’s eyes narrow somewhat, obviously not taking kindly to your little taunts. It’s evident to everyone watching that this is just a little game for you, and you’re taking the opportunity to have some fun with their prince. Aonung seems more determined, and he growls and jolts forward.
He stabs his spear towards you, which you parry, slashing and spiralling, ducking and stabbing. Eventually, he tosses you to the side and your spear goes skittering away. You feel the audience sit up slightly, not expecting this to happen.
Aonung approaches slowly, a cocky little smile on his fishlips. You roll your eyes at his overconfidence, before ducking under the next stab so you’re pressed between his body and his spear, before ripping it from his grip and tossing it out of the circle.
He hisses with annoyance and makes to shove you away, but you’re already ducking under his legs and flipping him over your back. Groans come from the crowd as Aonung slams into the floor, but you hear a delighted whoop from Lo’ak, followed by Kiri stifling a laugh and Neteyam shushing them both.
Aonung clambers to his feet and you crouch a little lower. His eyes are blazing now, looking absolutely furious. A shiver of anticipation runs through you as he tilts his head, eyes narrowing to icy slits. Finally.
“Going to actually fight now?” you ask, smiling tantalisingly, tauntingly. You weren’t really expecting an actual fight, any real competition, but this is even better than the fun little tussle you’d anticipated. With the way he’s looking at you, you just know he’s ready. He’s furious and humiliated and he’s dangerous.
You trail the circle, eyes fixed on one another. You wait, unhurried and unworried, so he gives in and makes the first move again. This time he goes for your legs, and you leap over him, pushing his shoulders down so he stumbles and you roll to the ground and spring up again.
You exchange punches and kicks, and he doesn't hold back. He tackles you to the ground and jabs his elbow at your gut. He’s strong, very strong, and there’s a moment where you realise you forgot to factor in just how stupidly, ridiculously tall and muscular the infuriating skxawng is. You jab him back with your elbow, and he grunts before pinning you down with one arm, his other hand closing around your throat.
The warriors, your friends and your family are watching with bated breath as you struggle under him for a moment, eyes flicking in wide fascination between your twisting form trapped underneath his. You can feel the pressure of their gazes, and the thought that they think he might actually win is more than you can bear.
“Kinky,” you manage to whisper, throat starting to ache under his grip. His face twists for a moment, which you don’t pause to read before you move your knee up to smack him in the groin. You roll over him, legs wrapping around his neck and squeezing his head between his thighs.
“You’re one to talk,” he grunts, trying to shove your legs apart. You tighten your legs together around him, and he gasps.
“Go on,” you breathe, looking down at Aonung, between your legs, face filled with frustration, hands scrabbling at your thighs. He doesn’t say anything. Everyone’s watching expectantly, and you reach down to tug his head back further by his kuru, neck trapped between your legs.
The moment your fingers close around his kuru, he hisses. You glare at each other for a moment, his eyes blazing with frustration, your own eyes a clear message: give up.
“Fine,” he hisses, trying to twist away from you.
“Louder,” you snap, tugging his kuru harder, and he growls.
“I give up!” he explodes.
For a moment, you just stay like that, the crowd watching silently as you stare down at his irate face. And then, with movements that even to yourself feel like they’re in slow motion, you let go of his kuru and open your legs, Aonung toppling onto the floor between them.
Then Ronal is standing up, Tonowari is smiling, and Lo’ak is cheering. The crowd follow, smiling and applauding and grinning at one another. Amidst it all, Aonung has clambered to his feet, ears pinned back against his face and face bitter.
“I hope this has settled things between the two of you,” Tonowari says, as everyone starts to finally fuck off out of the training grounds and back to the village, chattering excitedly and shooting glances back towards you all.
He looks between the pair of you expectantly. You’re both slightly flushed from the fight. Aonung still looks ashamed and frustrated, tail flicking agitatedly behind him, absentmindedly and violently drawing in the sand with his toes. You just avoid eye contact, and Tonowari sighs.
He signs to his son, who scowls and signs back. They continue in this way for a minute, exchanging what is clearly a heated debate in the unspoken language you have yet to learn properly, while you stand on the side and wonder absentmindedly if you’ve been dismissed. Just as you’re about to try and slip away, Tonowari clears his throat and you freeze.
“The two of you will train together,” he says in a voice that makes it clear it isn’t up for debate. Aonung tries anyway, clearly protesting in their signed language, and you wait with a frown on your face. “It is decided. I’ll leave you too to sort out your… differences.”
Aonung glares after his father, and you fold your arms. Finally, he turns towards you, eyes blazing with irritation. You glare at each other in silence for a few moments.
“What’s your problem with me?” Aonung says bluntly, finally breaking the tense quiet.
“What’s my problem?” you hiss, brows raising in disbelief, eyes narrowing conversely.
“Yes,” he scoffs. “That’s what I just said, isn’t it? Are you deaf, as well as a freak-”
“Are you serious right now,” you cut him off, swallowing hotly before your fist accidentally slips and he ends up with a broken nose. “Are you really doing this again, after I just rocked your skxawng ass in front of your whole clan?”
Aonung scoffs again, eyes narrowing as well, and you take a step in, not in the least intimidated he’s a good foot taller. Or by the way he straightens to glare back from his full height, waiting impatiently for you to speak your mind. You’re quite impressed with yourself that you’re only now about to insult him; it’s been a good minute long since you last did.
“Fine,” you concede. “You’re entitled. You’re rude. You don’t give a single fuck for anybody but yourself. You are the most close-minded person I ever met, and I’ve been held at gunpoint by artificially revived humans. You are so egotistical you clearly think the world revolves around you. You except us to sit back while you taunt and ridicule us, you picked on my siblings for the hell of it then had the nerve to act surprised when I fought you over it. You think you deserve everything you deserve everything because you have it, but I promise you this; you are so much less important than you believe.”
Aonung blinks slightly. You don’t step back, and when he exhales shakily and his rage flares up again, you stand your fucking ground as he steps in as well.
“You’re a fucking brat, you know that?” he growls, glaring down at you.
“And what are you, then?” you snap. “Entitled prince of the clan. Who gets whatever he likes. Who can’t handle me calling him out on what he actually is.”
Aonung hisses, and you suddenly find yourself inches away from him. It takes you a moment to realise he’s dragged you there by your kuru, neck tilted dangerously back so you can still make eye contact with him when this close given your stupid fucking height difference.
He’s breathing heavily, eyes blazing. You’re breathing heavily too, eyes wide as you stare back at him. It’s less of a glare now, you’re just waiting to see what he’s going to do. When he realises you aren’t fighting back for once, not pulling away from him, his pupils widen to large black slits, eyes still narrowed and blazing.
And you stay like that. Neither of you move. Neither of you dare too. Neither of you can guess what the other will do. You half expect him to toss you away, or maybe cuss you out. He’s one hundred percent sure you’re seconds away from cursing him out and certain violence.
“What are you doing?” you whisper. It doesn’t come out as you meant it, nowhere near as warning, as fierce, as dangerous. Because this is. It is dangerous.
Dangerous to be this close. Dangerous for you to be thinking what you’re suddenly thinking. Dangerous of him to be holding you this close.
With a small shiver, you realise he’s still holding your kuru in his fisted hand, your body so close to his that when you breathe, your chests nearly brush. You try not to swallow; there’s no way you’re going to let him see how dry your throat suddenly is.
His eyes are roving over your face, which he still holds facing up towards him with his grip on your kuru, tilted so far to keep him in your sight that your throat is tight, and your heart is pounding slightly. Because of the pressure on your throat, because you can’t breathe. Obviously.
Your question hangs in the air. Silent. Aonung doesn’t answer. You can feel his breath fanning across your neck. It’s hot and heavy and you try your best not to make another sound, to make sure he can’t feel how hot and heavy your breath is suddenly feeling.
It never struck you how sensitive a kuru is, but when he pulls you closer by another inch, you feel your whole body tense. Your pupils blow wide and to your horror, you moan. It’s soft, breathy, and you pray to Eywa it was soundless, that it was just some horrific, mortifying figment of your imagination summoned by the oddness of your situation. Even more shamefully, there’s an undeniable twist in your heart, and a certain wetness in your loincloth at the tug of your sensitive kuru.
But then Aonung squeezes his eyes shut, breathing deeply. With his eyes closed, you quickly let your eyes dart over him. You’ve never seen him this tense, not when fighting him, not when shouting at him, not even when you had to wait for Lo’ak to be found when left at Three Brothers Rock.
Every muscle in his neck is tensed, jaw clenching tightly, throat bobbing and chest moving with each strained breath. With another surge of your heart, your eyes drop to the rippling muscles of his arms and shoulder. His veins are evident in those smooth teal arms as he grips your kuru. Then he’s looking at you, eyes opening and instantly falling into your own. They’re dark, not just by his pupils blown wide as the fucking moon, but something deeper, darker, hungrier that has your heart clenching.
You breathe like that for a moment, eyes wide and gazing at each other, hearts hammering and breath heavy, before he wrenches his gaze from yours and quickly lets go of your kuru. And then, your heart stops hammering and your annoyance is rushing back and you forget that strange, infuriating rush from before.
“What was that?” you growl, pulling your kuru back and scowling at him.
Aonung just swallows, still avoiding your gaze and shifting slightly, and you look down. Immediately, your gaze darts up to his slightly flushed face, which looks mortified and frustrated now.
“You fucking hypocrite,” you breathe, eyes wide. “Taunting us, teasing us, when you are hard just by hearing me moan.” Aonung flushes deeper, and you scoff.
“Do you get like this when Kiri shouts at you?” you ask derisively. “Or even when Neteyam gets mad? Or is it just me that has this effect on you?”
Aonung’s glower is answer enough, and your eyes widen further, mouth parting in shock.
“Shut it,” he hisses, shifting again in an attempt to hide himself, and you laugh.
“Are you serious?” you deride. “What happened to me being a repulsive hideous freak? Or do you secretly like that- getting shouted at by a foreigner? Do you like it when I’m mean to you, Aonung?”
“I said shut it freak,” Aonung growls, though you don’t at all miss the way the tent in his tewng seems to grow as you trail closer.
“What do you want then?” you ask, raising your brows. “Surely it’s not above the prince to ask for help, if he really isn’t an entitled brat.”
“As if you would be any use,” Aonung snarls. “As if a freak like you could make me cum.”
“Oh?” you say with narrowed eyes, stepping closer. Aonung blinks, stepping back. He’s reluctant to stay so close to you, you realise. Which is fair, given that last time you were inches apart was what made him hard in the first place. “Do you want me to moan again for you, that seems to do the job well enough.”
You shoot a pointed look at his still growing bulge, and he pauses.
“I have my doubts though,” you say tiredly, trying to hide your amusement. “I don’t think a fishlipped brat like you would be able to make me moan anyway.”
“Is that a challenge?” Aonung says.
“Was it?” you raise your brows. “I feel like I’ve already put in some effort, at least I’ve done something for you.”
“One final challenge,” Aonung says through gritted teeth. “Settle this once for all.”
You consider it. You, of course, had already proved yourself over and over again, proved yourself superior to this skxawng. But on the other hand, your tewng was still wet, and you have this massive, horny ass man in front of you, clearly desperate for anything, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.
“Alright then,” you concede. “Because I’m not losing. I’m going to prove myself, you’re going to be eating your words, and then all will be good.”
“I do not understand eating your words,” Aonung says bluntly. “Is it some demon-”
His words are choked off when you reach out and press your palm into his bulge. A minute later, tewngs are disgarded, you find yourself pressed against the sand and he’s all over your body.
“You don’t need to,” you say quickly, when his fingers swipe along your slit. “I’m wet enough.” Aonung looks like he’s about to make some snarky comment, and you growl. “You’re going slower than my grandmother. I hope you’re-”
Suddenly you're lifted up and you're on your knees right there on the sand. You can feel Aonung's breath hot and heavy as he nips at your neck, folded over your much smaller, arched body and sliding your tewngs away with quick hands.
You feel yourself being stretched open, small stings of pain shooting through you as you drop your forehead to the sand. You sink your teeth into your lip, determined not to make any noise. This is different to before, bent completely over with your face pillowed against the ground.
“Alright princess,” he says snarkily, pausing for a moment, buried deep inside you. His voice sounds shaky.
“Thought you’d be bigger,” you lie, scrunching your face up as you try to adjust to his size. Aonung just lets out a deep, amused laugh, before pulling out to the tip and pressing down on your back to arch you further down.
When he starts to move, it completely knocks your breath out, so you're left gasping for air you never manage to catch as he thrusts again. His grip on your waist is bordering on strangling, yet you find yourself unconsciously following him, pulling yourself back to meet each one of your thrusts with a choked moan.
His sudden roughness and hunger and desire is startling. So this is what it's like when he's unrestrained, hot and animalistic, rutting fast and hard, pushing you into a further arch while his sharp teeth nip at the back of your neck and shoulders.
Eywa, if he’d worked this hard, this determinedly, this fiercely whenever you fought, maybe you’d actually have respect for him.
It's starting to get too much, the coil in your stomach growing too close too soon, and your moans are starting to border on lewd whines and whimpers as you sink your teeth into the flesh of your arms. You're clutching the ground for dear damn life, arms attempting to pillow your face as your whole body rocks forward with each rough, almost ruthless thrust.
Pearls of blood are collecting from where your fangs are sunk into your smooth skin, but you ignore it, much rathering the pain than Aonung having the satisfaction of knowing how long you’d be without it. Aonung too, is tense behind you. You can sense the effort he goes to keeping quiet.
It’s a fucking game, pretending neither is impressed by the other, when he’s punching every breath out of you with deep thrusts, and each clench of your walls around him is about to drive him insane. You’re both close, and you both know it, given the way he’s twitching inside you, and you’re fluttering around him.
“Go on then,” you groan through gritted teeth. “I promise, I’ll be gracious about my win.”
“You wish,” he huffs, but you can feel him twitch inside of you. Each rock of his hips knocks every breath, every thought out of you until your heart is pounding in rhythm with each increasingly rough, deep, animalistic thrust of his cock rutting between your legs.
You just bury your face deeper into your arms, hoping that they'll be enough to hide the moans knocked out of you with each of his deep thrusts. He has you pinned firmly beneath him, yet it feels snug and comforting despite the pain of his grip. It feels like he's fucking everything into you, even his scent, so each thrust is enveloping you in his warm, tropical smell.
And with a surge of panic, you feel that familiar heat to growing again, and by the way Aonung is hissing and groaning and burying his face in your neck, you can tell he’s close too. With a final chance to finish this, you’re suddenly rolling over and pushing him back against the sand.
You weren’t sure what you were expecting to see from Aonung; you had no idea what he looked like when you were ass up with your face half buried in the sand. But you certainly weren’t expecting those blue eyes dark and wide and hungry, his lips to be parted in a silent gasp.
His hands fall straight to your hips, slowly rocking you on him. You stare the whole time. With narrowed eyes and shallowed breaths, it’s all a challenge. And you’re determined to win.
“Go on,” you hiss, attempting to grin down at Aonung despite your flushed face and hair spilling anywhere. He looks like he’s about to protest, and you know you have one move left to pull. You finally unsink your teeth from your lips and let it all out. The moment your moan rents the air, Aonung tenses below you. And when your head tips back and your back arches, you both know he’s a goner.
It never occurred to you, just how gentle he’d been, until he’s completely let go, allowed the crushing desire to overcome him. He's half thrusting up into you, half picking up and slamming down your body onto him. If you didn’t know better, you’d almost think you could hear him moaning your name.
You yelp as he speeds up now, brutal and animalistic as the last tenterhooks of his final restraint snaps and he buries himself deep inside you. And finally, you can’t hold it any longer, flopping forward against his chest and doing your best to ride out your high.
“Holy shit,” you pant, squeezing your eyes shut and trying to breathe properly. Aonung doesn’t reply, and when you look up, you find him inches away, staring blankly at you. You quickly scramble off him, snatching up your tewng and covering yourself up. You try your best to ignore the come dripping between your legs, or the flush on your face. “I won.”
Aonung’s face stills, back to his regular, blank stare, though you weren’t sure what you were even reading in it before.
“Yeah whatever,” he grumbles. “Still a freak.”
“A freak who had you fucking moaning my name,” you mutter under your breath, making sure you’re all covered up again. “And you are still an entitled, bratty, fishlipped sore loser.”
“Fuck off,” he grunts, smacking you hard with his tail, and you straighten up, glaring at him. He just glares straight back, both of your chests heaving as you still fight for breath, eyes narrowed and tails flicking agitatedly.
Finally, you just huff and turn, storming back along the beach away from the training grounds and Aonung, and back to the village and the marui you share with your family. You ignore their delight at your win in the fight; they have no idea what happened after, and you fully intend to keep it that way.
For some reason, you don’t feel as satisfied by your other win as you thought. It had been gratifying to watch as Aonung just completely lost control, and maybe you even enjoyed watching him lose his temper and toss and pull you around like you weighed nothing. You scowl and slump onto your sleeping mat.
Stupid skxawng, not admitting you won, when you both knew he was practically whimpering your name. The trouble was how difficult it had been for you not to do the same, moan out his name. And then there was the other trouble. That it had been nothing like you’d ever experienced, being stretched far further than ever before, him reaching places you didn’t even think were possible.
It was harder than anything. Harder than your iknimaya, harder than escaping Quaritch even. It was almost physically impossible, not to just collapse against him, not to moan your pleasure for Eywa to hear. And certainly not for Aonung to hear. If he knew how shaky you feel, how sore your legs are and how faint your head is, the stupid skxawng would never let you hear the end of it.
So you just slump back against your sleeping mat, trying not to think about how you have to train with him the next morning.
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༊ Taglist:
@hadesbabygurl @wavesarchive @kqlopsia @tadomikiku @ntymavtr @mommyanddadskiller @thehoneymushroomhealer @tsireyax @integers @tiyawnyana @whatevenisagrapefruit @oakbuggy @sunsetviper @blue-slxt @simplyawh0re
Okay let me know if i forgot someone hope you pookie pies enjoyed 🙃
#aonung#aonung fanfiction#aonung x reader#aonung x female reader#avatar smut#aonung fic#avatar fanfiction#avatar fandom#avatar the way of water#avatar#enemies to lovers#rivals to lovers#slow burn
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My take on the round 6 (I will kill myself)
Someone pointed out that when Till was a baby he was looking intently at Ivan who had the operation in his eye making it have a red pupil
Then we go back to Black Sorrow's video and you see that Till ran by Ivan because he was going after a crown of RED flowers, which are THE EXACT SAME as the ones Ivan walked on before they started fighting :
The flower could be seen as Ivan, mostly because the red is similar to his pupil
Ivan tends to mock it/destroy it to get Till's attention while Till is seemingly careful around it and running after it (which could represent Ivan's self destructive personality and Till's previous focus on him)
I think the true reason Till looks away from Ivan all this time is because he found comfort by looking at him when he was at a low point in his life (he was being sold, experimented on, beat up, etc....) and yet, the person with such singular eyes was the one who ended up seeking his attention to the point of resorting to violence to get Till staring at him while fighting
Till wanted someone who would see him as an equal and respect him as a human being rather than some sort of animal
That's why he fell for Mizi, because of her gentle nature and bright personality who cares for others and acts delicately with everyone else
He was afraid to fall for someone who wouldn't bring the best out of himself
On the other side we've got Ivan, who clearly can't express his emotions correctly whether it be with his words or with his actions so he decided to either be affectionate with Till in front of everyone bc they would take his actions as jokes or use unconventional ways to be on Till's mind when they were together
Ivan is a character who was favored by monsters, he had a lot of expectations to meet and was treated as a prodigy, he was dehumanized because of his talent, and that's why he took a liking to Till : Till looked at him with admiration and interest but not for his talent, it was for him as a person
It was a sincere look of adoration
Now talking about looks, they say that when people look at something or someone they love their pupils dilate and guess what
Notice how the second he started to look at Ivan his eyes started to shine for the first time in the whole round
Despite everything, he was still that little boy looking at the thing he considered most beautiful in the whole world
Another interesting thing is the way Ivan went from kissing Till, to choke him
The kiss can be two things : him stepping up to kiss him before one of them dies and a way to stop the round by preventing the two of them from singing, making the result stop early and making sure Till would win
However the last kiss wasnt part of the plan
Ivan looked at the score to make sure everything went according to the plan and AFTER he got confirmation that Till was winning, he allowed himself an oh so small peck on Till's lips
So light that their lips barely touched at all, and yet after the long kissing scene this was the kiss with the bigbest impact : he allowed himself to love him a little more than supposed
The choking was to make SURE he would be targeted and killed instead of Till so that he could win, but it was possibly also a way for him to make sure Till wouldn't feel culpability after he dies since Ivan "attacked" him in the first place
But even then if you look at Till's neck afterwards there are no handprints around it, which means that he made sure not to press too hard, just enough to be targeted by the security
Ivan loves Till. There's no denying it. He cares for him when no one can witness his affection not even the one he loves. He never expected to have his feelings requited, he just wanted to be acknowledged and looked at, because whenever Till looks at Ivan, this is when Ivan feels the most elated
Till loves Ivan. And while he repressed his feelings by ignoring him, ONE look at him was enough to prove his infatuation
They mean a lot to each other but they both sucked at saying things
This is not just doomed yaoi, this is miscommunication doomed yaoi 💔💔💔
#napsta talk#alien stage#alnst#ivantill#ivan alien stage#ivan alnst#till alien stage#till alnst#if youve seen this post earlier no you didnt#i keep remembering things to add#the yapping is REAL.#i feel like some of my explanations are romanticizing a lil too much but when i have a vision over smthg my vocabulary turns into a puddle
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Imperfect Storm | Billy Hargrove
- Stranger Things
- x Reader
❪ FEM! ❫ ❪ adult aroace virgin attempts to write smut ❫ ❪ Altitude ❫
───── ❝ description + disclaimer ❞ ─────
𖥻 Billy Hargrove x AFAB+FEM!reader, in which there’s nowhere to escape. OR in which unexpected downpour and the start of a hurricane locks down Hawkins High trapping studious and rebellious together for hours.
𖥻 established relationships. bffs with steve bc im lazy. i could not for the life of me think up a reason from them to be fighting, sorry. a lot of plot and scattered corn with a p. light choking. 15,729 words
───── ❝ introduction❞ ─────
In the small town of Hawkins, Indiana, amidst the echoes of adventure and whatever we were told to believe was really going on in the mysteries of the lab, I navigated the familiar corridors of Hawkins High School with an air of quiet determination.
Clad in the same hoodie I think i'd worn to school every other day this week I blended seamlessly into the background. The simple jumper embraces me, shielding me from both the chills of the hallways and enigmatic pull of the township.
Behind my glasses, my eyes observe the world around me with a mixture of curiosity and caution, silently analyzing the dynamics that play out around me. The crowds in the halls split into their cliques and leave me feeling left behind as the gather into their little groups and start chatting.
Billy, the embodiment of rebellion and unpredictable predictability, strides through the halls with a seemingly magnetic presence. His confidence and smoldering gaze are s stark contrast to the usually reserved demeanor of people in Hawkins.
In his presence, I am simultaneously drawn to his charismatic energy and apprehensive of the unknown depths beneath his charismatic facade.
As I delve into my locker, mentally seeking solace, I find myself lost in thought. Attempting to unravel the mysteries of my own life.
It is within these moments of quiet introspection that my thoughts of Billy begin to infiltrate my mind, disrupting the careful equilibrium i've cultivated.
Though our paths rarely intersect, our lives have briefly intertwined during multiple chance encounters, and although they usually resulted in tense exchanges and snarky comments, something stirred within me- A curiosity that transcended the boundaries of my studious world. As I peered past his tough exterior, I could catch a glimpse of vulnerability in his eyes, a flicker of a troubled soul that yearned for understanding.
In Hawkins, where extraordinary occurrences seemed to intertwine with the mundane, I had managed to find myself cautiously navigating the uncharted territories of the heart.
As Billy swaggered into the bustling halls of Hawkins High, his eyes scanned the crowd for a potential target to amuse himself with.
As I stood by my locker, lost in my own thoughts, a sudden jolt shook me from my daydream. I stumbled forward, my belongings slipping from my grasp and clattering to the ground. It took me a moment to realize what had happened—Billy, the epitome of arrogance, had deliberately knocked into me.
Anger flared within me, and embarrassment tinged my cheeks. It seemed that Billy took delight in humiliating others for his own amusement. The laughter that escaped his lips only fueled my frustration, intensifying the need to show him that he couldn’t simply walk all over people.
I swiftly knelt down to gather my scattered books and papers, my mind seething with defiance. I refused to let his actions break my spirit. As I rose back to my feet, I met his gaze head-on, a fire burning in my eyes.
───── ❝ fight❞ ─────
"Billy, I can't help it notice your constant need for attention. It's like you thrive on pushing people's buttons and causing unnecessary drama."
His eyes narrowed, and a cocky smirk tugged at the corners of his lips. "Oh, sweetheart, just trying to keep things interesting. Can't have this boring town lull me to sleep now, can we?"
took a deep breathe, attempting to suppress the surge of anger that threatened to consume me. "You know, not everyone finds your reckless behaviour captivating. It's exhausting, Billy. It's one thing to be confident, but it's another to treat people like disposable playthings."
He leaned in, his voice dripping with dosain. "Well, maybe you're just too uptight, never willing to take a risk. You think you're better than everyone else don't you?"
My temper flared, and I met his gaze with unwavering intensity. "No, Billy, I don't think I'm better than anyone. But unlike you, I don't go around hurting others just to fill a void inside me. Maybe if you too a moment to look beyond your own ego, you'd see the damage you're causing."
Billy's expression hardened, his words laced with bitter edge. "You don't know a damn thing about me. You don't know what it's like to fight for every scrap of happiness in a messed-up world."
I shook my head, my voice filled with frustration. "And what about everyone else? Do their feelings not matter? Your actions have consequences, Billy. You can't keep treating people like collateral damage in your personal war."
He scoffed, his voice now full of derision. "Spare me the lecture, sweetheart. Not all of us can hide behind our books and pretend like we have it all figured out."
My patience waned, replaced by a resolute fire. "I don't pretend to have it all figured out, but at least I strive to be better. I won't stand idly by while you leave a trail of broken hearts, i highly suspect a lot of STDs and shattered friendships in your wake."
The tension between us was palpable, the air heavy with unspoken resentment. We stood at an impasse, our words and emotions colliding in a tempest of heated argument. It was a clash between two forces unwilling to yield, each defending their own perspective with unwavering determination.
As the echoes of our confrontation reverberated through the halls of Hawkins High, the rest of the student body seemingly silent, a lingering animosity hanging in the air.
The hallway fell into a hushed silence as the door swung open, revealing Mr. Thompson, a stern and no-nonsense teacher known for his unwavering discipline. His eyes scanned the crowd, settling on Billy Hargrove and me, both still tinged with the remnants of our heated argument.
With a voice that brooked no dissent, Mr. Thompson spoke, his tone laced with disappointment. "Mr. Hargrove, Miss Y/N, I trust you are both aware of the disruption you caused with your altercation. Such behavior is not befitting of the students I know you are capable of being."
Billy leaned back against the metal locker, an air of defiance lingering around him. "Look, teach, she started it. She always acts like she's better than everyone else."
Mr. Thompson's gaze hardened, his stern expression unyielding. "I will not entertain excuses or attempts to shift blame, Mr. Hargrove. Both of you played a role in this unfortunate incident, and as such, you will face the consequences."
His words hung heavy in the air, the weight of our actions pressing down upon us. I swallowed hard, understanding the gravity of the situation. "I apologize, Mr. Thompson. My behavior was out of line, and I take full responsibility for my part in the argument."
The teacher nodded, his tone firm yet fair. "Acknowledging your mistake is the first step, Miss Y/N. However, understanding the impact of your actions is equally important. Disruption within the school community undermines the learning environment for your fellow students."
Billy shot a defiant glare in Mr. Thompson's direction, but the teacher remained unfazed. "As for you, Mr. Hargrove, this is not the first time you have found yourself in a situation like this. It's time to recognize the consequences of your actions and learn from them."
The weight of Mr. Thompson's words settled upon us, the realization of our transgressions sinking in. We were about to face the repercussions of our heated argument— A lesson that would extend beyond the confines of the classroom unfortunately.
With a measured tone, Mr. Thompson concluded, "Both of you will serve detention after school today. It is an opportunity for reflection and understanding, a chance to contemplate the impact of your choices. I expect better from you both moving forward." As the halls emptied and the weight of our detention loomed.
───── ❝ detention❞ ─────
The detention room was heavy with unspoken tension, a sterile and somber space, its walls adorned with faded motivational posters. Billy Hargrove and I sat in stony silence, our gazes locked in a battle of wills. As we awaited the passage of time, a silence settled over us, broken only by the occasional creak of chairs, the heavy rain hitting the windows or distant footsteps in the hallway.
Unable to bear the silence any longer, I broke it with a voice sharpened by resentment. "You know, Billy, I never expected much from you, but I thought you would at least have the decency to apologize."
Billy's jaw clenched, his eyes narrowing with a flicker of defiance. "Apologize? For what? Standing up for myself? Or for not letting you walk all over me with your self-righteous lectures? You’re the one that should be grovelling and begging for me to accept your apology."
The words stung, igniting a fire within me. "You think this is about me wanting to control you? It's not, Billy. It's about treating people with respect and recognizing the consequences of our actions."
He scoffed, his voice laced with bitter sarcasm. "Oh, spare me your moral high ground, sweetheart. You act like you've never made a mistake in your life."
My temper flared, my voice rising in defiance. "I never claimed to be perfect, Billy. But at least I try to learn from my mistakes. You, on the other hand, continue to hurt people without a second thought."
His eyes flashed with anger, his voice dripping with venom. "You think you know me? You think you understand a damn thing about what I've been through?"
The room crackled with the intensity of our confrontation, the boundaries between us growing sharper with every word. We were two opposing forces on a collision course, our anger fueling the flames of resentment.
"I may not know your entire story, Billy, but that doesn't excuse your actions," I retorted, my voice trembling with suppressed emotion. "Hurting others won't fix whatever pain you're carrying."
His gaze hardened, his voice a low growl. "You don't get to play therapist, Y/N. You don't get to pretend like you can fix me."
My heart raced, my fists clenched in frustration. "I never said that I have all the answers, but I refuse to let you continue down this destructive path without saying something. You're capable of so much more, Billy. But until you face the truth and acknowledge the pain you're causing, you'll remain trapped in this cycle of anger and hurt."
Silence enveloped us once again, the weight of our words hanging in the air. Anger still simmered beneath the surface, but a glimmer of vulnerability shone in Billy's eyes. It was a fleeting moment, easily masked by his hardened facade, but it was enough to sow a seed of doubt within me.
The storm outside was taking a treacherous turn. The distant rumble of thunder grew louder, and rain pounded against the windows with an unrelenting force.
Breaking the silence, my voice quivered with a mix of trepidation and sincerity. "Billy, I want to apologize for the things I said earlier. I let my anger get the best of me, and I didn't consider the pain you might be carrying."
Billy's guard softened, his gaze meeting mine with a flicker of surprise and appreciation. "I... I appreciate that, Y/N.”
There was a pause, a shared moment of introspection as we grappled with our own inner turmoil. I reached out tentatively, my hand finding Billy's, my touch a gentle reassurance amidst the remnants of our conflict.
"I've seen glimpses of a different person beneath your… tough exterior, Billy," I admitted, voice filled with genuine concern. "There's more to you than the asshole that parades himself around this school."
“Y/N, I-”
Suddenly, the shrill wail of sirens pierced the air, signaling an imminent danger—A tornado.
We exchanged startled glances, their previous animosity momentarily forgotten as the gravity of the situation sank in.
As the tornado siren blared its warning, panic gripped the halls of Hawkins High School. Remaining students and teachers scrambled to find shelter, seeking refuge in designated safe areas.
Their footsteps quickened, driven by the urgency to reach safety. My hand instinctively grasped the doorknob, twisting it desperately, only to be met with resistance. Billy stepped forward, trying to force the door open with all his might, but it remained stubbornly shut. We were trapped, confined within the detention room's four walls while the storm raged outside.
Frantic thoughts raced through my mind as the tornado siren continued its relentless call. Time seemed to stretch, each passing second intensifying our worry. We pounded on the door, our voices blending with the howling wind outside, hoping to catch the attention of someone who could free us from these confines.
But the chaos of the storm swallowed the cries, leaving us stranded in a place where punishment had transformed into something far more sinister.
Together, we faced the daunting prospect of weathering the storm from the confines of the detention room. The previous conflicts and animosity were pushed aside by the shared predicament we found themselves in. In this moment of vulnerability, I, overwhelmed by the situation, instinctively sought comfort and found solace in the proximity of Billy.
Trembling, I pressed closer to him, seeking refuge in his presence. Billy, taken aback by the vulnerability displayed before him, was unsure of how to respond. Awkwardly, he tentatively wrapped his arms around me, his touch uncertain yet gentle, trying to offer whatever comfort he could muster.
His voice, usually laced with defiance, softened as he spoke, "Hey, it's gonna be okay." His words held a glimmer of reassurance, though they were foreign on his tongue.
Finding solace in the sincerity behind his words, I nodded against his chest. The storm's fury continued to unleash its wrath, yet within the confines of his embrace, a bubble of comfort formed—a shelter against the chaos outside.
Despite his initial hesitation, Billy recognized the importance of providing support in his own way. He began to stroke Y/N's back with gentle motions, a silent gesture of solidarity.
"Sorry," I mumbled, my voice laced with embarrassment, as I gently pushed away from Billy's embrace. My cheeks flushed with a mix of emotions, and I hastily wiped my nose on the back of my hand, trying to regain composure. Avoiding his gaze, I looked down, my focus shifting to the ground beneath us.
Billy, ever the composed one, noticed my unease. With a gentle touch, he reached out and brushed off a speck of dust from his shirt, as if to show that the minor incident hadn't fazed him.
Billy took a seat on the floor, his back leaned against the door, his hands resting on his knees. A somber calmness settled over him as he watched the storm brewing just outside the windows. His gaze traced the dark clouds swirling in the sky, their ominous presence mirrored in the intensity of his eyes.
There was a sense of introspection about him, a contemplation that matched the turbulent energy of the storm. As the thunder rumbled and the rain battered against the windows, he seemed lost in thought, his thoughts perhaps wandering through the labyrinth of his own emotions.
I couldn't help but be drawn to his stillness, his silent observation of the chaos outside. His composed demeanor in the face of the tempest fascinated me, revealing a depth that extended beyond his tough exterior. In that moment, he seemed like an enigma, simultaneously a part of the storm and yet untouched by its fury.
Sitting beside him, I watched his profile, his features softened by the dim light that filtered through the darkened room. There was an air of melancholy around him, an unspoken weight that he carried. I yearned to understand the depths of his thoughts, to be the solace that anchored him amidst the storm.
───── ❝ the calm❞ ─────
As the storm raged outside, Billy and I found ourselves engaged in a conversation that embodied the essence of teenage banter.
Billy leaned in, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "If you could have any superpower, what would it be? And don't say something boring like 'the ability to study all night'."
I chuckled, playfully rolling my eyes at his remark. "Alright, impatient. If I had to pick, I'd go with telekinesis. Imagine the possibilities! No more reaching for the remote or dealing with heavy backpacks. I could be the ultimate multitasker."
He nodded, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. "Telekinesis, huh? That's a solid choice. I'd probably go with teleportation. Think about it—no more long commutes, instant travel to any corner of the world. Plus, I'd never be late for detention again."
As the thunder rumbled in the distance, Billy leaned closer, his tone filled with curiosity. "Alright, what's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you in school? Come on, I know you've got a good story."
I smirked, playfully nudging him. "Well, there was this one time in sophomore year when I accidentally walked into the boys' restroom. Needless to say, I made a hasty retreat."
Billy burst into laughter, his infectious mirth filling the room. "You sure know how to make an entrance, sweetheart."
As we continued swapping stories and playful jabs, the detention room transformed into a hub of energy, where we could momentarily forget our worries and simply enjoy each other's company.
A low, distant rumble of thunder echoed through the air, as if nature itself was growling in anticipation. The wind intensified, howling and gusting with an almost primal force. The trees bowed and thrashed, their branches caught in a frenzied dance, struggling against the impending tempest.
I watched in awe as the atmosphere transformed before my eyes. The sky, once a tranquil blue, now displayed a multitude of shades—shades of gray, indigo, and charcoal, swirling together in a chaotic symphony. The sun, now hidden behind a thick layer of swirling clouds, cast an eerie, ethereal glow over the landscape.
Bolts of lightning streaked across the darkened sky, illuminating the swirling mass of clouds with their electric brilliance. Each flash was followed by a deep, rumbling clap of thunder, reverberating through the air like the growl of a mighty beast. The sound seemed to vibrate within me, a reminder of the power and unpredictability of nature.
Raindrops fell, at first sporadic and gentle, then growing in intensity. They splattered against the windows, creating a distorted view of the world outside. The rain seemed to move in waves, driven by the ever-growing ferocity of the storm.
As the tornado formed in the distance, a funnel-shaped cloud descended from the heavens, its dark core swirling with an ominous intensity. It seemed like a monstrous entity, a force of nature unleashed, ready to wreak havoc upon the land.
As I watched the tornado continue to gather strength, my heart pounded with a mix of fear and fascination. The storm's fury was a stark reminder of our place in the universe, a humbling experience that left me in awe.
"Truth or dare?" Billy's voice cut through the air, pulling me away from my initial skepticism, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.
I scoffed playfully, playing along with the game. "Dare," I replied, ready to accept whatever challenge he threw my way.
His eyes sparkled with mischief as he leaned in closer. "Draw something inappropriate on the whiteboard," he suggested, his voice laden with amusement.
I rolled my eyes, trying to suppress a smile, and reluctantly rose from the floor. Picking up a black marker, I uncapped it and sketched a crude representation of a penis on the whiteboard.
Rolling my eyes but unable to suppress a smile, I got up from the floor and reached for a black marker. With deliberate strokes, I crudely sketched a crude representation of a penis on the whiteboard. Billy's laughter filled the room, his teasing comment echoing in the air.
“It’s a bit small, don’t you think?” He jested, unable to contain his amusement.
Glancing at the drawing, I raise an eyebrow, a smirk forming on my lips. “Oh, really? Well, I suppose it’s yours then,” I retort, playfully taking a seat beside him, reveling in our shared banter.
Billy’s eyes widen momentarily before a mischievous smile dances on his lips. “Oh, sweetheart. It definitely is not,” he quips, the implication lingering in the air between us.
Interrupting his suggestive smile, I shift the focus back to the game. “Truth or dare?” I ask, deliberately ignoring his playful demeanor.
Billy ponders for a moment, his gaze meeting mine with a newfound curiosity. “Truth,” he finally decides, a tinge of vulnerability seeping into his voice.
With a casual shrug, I meet his request with nonchalance. “Tell me a secret,” I challenge, my curiosity piqued.
I see a flicker of contemplation in Billy’s eyes, a momentary vulnerability that captures my attention. “I… I think this game is stupid,” he confesses, his tone filled with a hint of reluctance.
A burst of laughter escapes me, and I playfully grumble, pouting as I lightly swat him with the back of my hand. “Come on, Hargrove,” I retort, a playful glint in my eyes. “That’s not a real secret,” I tease, finding joy in the lighthearted exchange between us.
"I love when you say my name," he confesses softly, his voice laced with sincerity.
I raise an eyebrow, a playful smile tugging at the corners of my lips. "Billy is your name, not Hargrove," I remind him, a hint of mischief coloring my tone.
He closes his eyes, savoring the words as they linger in the air. Tilting his head back slightly, a contented sigh escapes his lips. "God, I love that," he admits, a faint smile playing on his features.
A mixture of curiosity and affection fills me as I gaze at him, captivated by the rare vulnerability that shines through. "Your own name?" I inquire, wanting to understand the depths of his feelings.
His smile grows wider, his eyes sparkling with a newfound lightness. It's a smile I've never witnessed before—a genuine expression that reaches his eyes. It's a departure from the usual smirks and cocky grins that often adorned his face.
With a teasing glint, he responds, "Only when you say it."
In that moment, the room feels charged with an unspoken connection—a mutual understanding that extends beyond words. Billy's admission reveals a layer of vulnerability, a longing to be seen and appreciated for who he truly is. And in return, I find myself drawn to the authenticity behind his smiles, cherishing this newfound glimpse into his soul.
As the tornado's fury rages outside, within the detention room, a tender understanding forms—a recognition that behind the tough exterior and troubled past, there is a person deserving of acceptance.
The air between us hums with unspoken emotions, the room fills with an electrifying tension. A charged atmosphere enveloping us, our eyes locked. There, in the midst of the detention room's confined space, a fleeting moment of clarity washed over me, and I couldn't resist the overwhelming urge to bridge the remaining distance between us.
Closing the gap, I reached out, my fingers gently cupping Billy's cheek. The room fell silent, the sounds of the storm outside fading into the background, as our hearts beat in unison. With a mixture of trepidation and longing, I pressed my lips against his, capturing the essence of that tender moment.
Time seemed to stand still as our mouths met, a fusion of uncertainty and desire intertwining in the embrace. The sensation was electric, igniting a fire that had smoldered beneath the surface for far too long. In that brief exchange, our souls spoke a language words couldn't convey.
Billy, initially surprised by the unexpected kiss, soon melted into it, responding with a passion that matched my own. His hands found their way to the small of my back, pulling me closer, deepening the connection.
When our lips finally parted, we remained locked in a breathless moment, our eyes lingering as if searching for something in the depths of each other's gaze. The storm's turmoil outside seemed distant, inconsequential compared to the whirlwind of emotions we experienced within that single, stolen kiss.
A radiant smile spread across Billy's face, a genuine expression that mirrored the warmth filling my own heart.
Our eyes remain locked, reflecting the fire that still burns within. It's a pivotal moment—an awakening of desires.
As the heat between us subsides slightly, I tentatively reach out, my hand trembling with anticipation, seeking to caress the contours of Billy's face. But just as my fingers brush against his skin, he gently catches my hand, his touch firm yet tender.
Time seems to suspend as Billy's eyes search mine, his grip on my hand a gentle yet deliberate restraint. The intensity of the moment is palpable, the unspoken words echoing between us.
My heart pounded in anticipation, and my breath hitched as I felt his gaze fixate on the sensitive curve of my neck.
A mixture of excitement and vulnerability coursed through me as Billy leaned in, his lips lightly grazing my skin. Each gentle kiss sent an electric jolt through my body, awakening every nerve ending. It was an exquisite torment, a sweet agony that left me yearning for more.
I shivered, surrendering to the intoxicating pleasure of his touch, as his lips continued to explore the contours of my neck. The warmth of his breath against my skin sent waves of desire cascading through me, intensifying with each tender press of his mouth.
The sensations overwhelmed me, causing a soft gasp to escape my lips. In that moment, I lost myself in the exquisite pleasure, my body responding to his every touch. It was a delicate dance of passion and vulnerability, a symphony of sensations that bound us together in an intimate connection.
Time seemed to stand still as Billy's kisses grew more impassioned, each one leaving a trail of desire in its wake. My senses were heightened, the world around us fading into insignificance. In that intimate exchange, I felt seen, cherished, and desired.
As I surrendered to the pleasure coursing through me, the room became a sanctuary—a place where worries and responsibilities dissolved, leaving only the intensity of our connection. Billy's lips on my neck were a testament to the depths of our desires intertwining.
Amidst the storm's raging chaos outside, our bodies entwined, the sweet caress of his kisses on my neck brought solace and an indescribable intimacy. It was a moment where the boundaries between us blurred, where our desires and emotions melded into one.
With a mix of strength and tenderness, Billy's arms wrapped around me, lifting me effortlessly off the ground. I gasped, caught off guard by his display of power and the rush of exhilaration that surged through me.
With purposeful steps, Billy carried me across the room, our bodies pressed close together. Gently, Billy set me down on top of a desk, our eyes locked in a fiery gaze. The smooth surface was cool against my skin, heightening my awareness of the intimate connection we were about to explore.
Billy stood before me, his gaze filled with a mix of desire and vulnerability. With a slight smirk playing on his lips, he reached for the buttons of his shirt, his fingers deftly undoing them one by one.
His hands paused momentarily, allowing me a moment to appreciate the sight before him. A hint of a smile tugged at the corners of his lips, his usual confidence shining through. With a deliberate slowness, he shrugged off the shirt, letting it fall to the ground, revealing his bare chest in all its glory.
Steady hand, he reached out, his fingers grazing the fabric of my shirt. His touch was gentle yet purposeful, tracing a path along my skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. With a gentle yet determined pull, he started to lift the shirt upward, exposing the skin beneath.
───── ❝ the storm❞ ─────
As my shirt slipped off, a rush of vulnerability and desire washed over me. Billy's eyes traced the lines of my exposed flesh, a mixture of reverence and hunger in his gaze. His touch was both careful and passionate, his fingertips grazing my skin with an electric intensity that sent shivers down my spine.
His hand reaches up my throat, until it reaches my chin, grabbing and running his thumb over my full bottom lip. I part my lips, drawing his thumb into my mouth and sucking.
“Y/N,” he whispers, closing his eyes, his jaw clenching as he grinds his back teeth.
He pulls his thumb from my lips, his fingers flying to my jeans as he fumbles with the button and rips them from me.
His eyes fall to my underwear. “Okay” He rasps, his fingers rubbing through the material.
“Oh” I breathe, pushing my arms behind me and wrapping my fingers round the edge of the desk unit.
“Legs up,” He orders and I do as he says without thinking, widening my legs for him, his eyes falling between them. Swirling his fingertips over me, his spare hand moves up around my throat as he wraps his fingers there, holding me in position.
His fingers slip into the side of my panties, rubbing slowly before gliding his fingers through my parted lips and plunging two fingers deep inside of me.
“Fuck,” I whisper.
His fingers slip out of me, before tugging on his own pants, kicking them down his legs. “You clean?”
I nod, “Yeah, are you?”
“Haven’t been with anyone in a while, but yeah.” I feel shocked and confused by his admission, but don’t let him see it.
He strokes himself in long, slow strokes then pushes his thick tip at my tight opening. “You’re mine from this moment on, do you understand me?” He rasps, his eyes levelling with mine and I nod.
Billy’s voice resonates with authority and possessiveness as he utters those words, his intense gaze locked with mine. The weight of his declaration hangs in the air, and for a brief moment, my mind races with conflicting emotions. I want to surrender, to fully embrace this connection that has ignited between us, but a lingering trace of hesitation remains.
“Yours.” I whisper, my voice tinged with a mix of excitement and fear. My eyes roll in the back of my head as he slowly pushes his thick cock inside me, the burn caused by him stretching me taking my breath away.
“Y/N.” His grip around my throat tightens as he watches his cock slip in and out of me with ease. “Fuck, you feel so good.” His jaw is tight, his teeth gritted as he fucks me slowly.
“Billy.” I whisper moan, looking between us as his thick cock pulls to the tip, then slips straight back into me.
My heart races under my skin when my gaze lands on the classroom door, the school hallway lies quiet and still, devoid of the usual bustling energy that fills its space during the day. My eyes widen and Billy winks at me, smirking.
“Look at you” he moans, his thrusts speeding up. “You’re such a naughty girl, sweetheart.”
The pet name that so often bothered me now felt like a reward, slipping off his tongue it brings my orgasm close. I clench down, tightening around him.
“You like that, don’t you?”
I nod, mewling as his voice floats through me, his cock hitting that spot.
“I think you can take more,” he whispers, his head turning to the door then back to face me. “Do you?” he asks.
I nod eagerly, letting my eyes watch as he fucks me.
He smiles, looking down between us as he pulls his cock to his tip, then places two fingers at my opening, resting on top of his arousal coated cock.
Without warning, he pushes back into me, my mouth agape as my eyes roll in the back of my head.
“Fuck yes,” I pant. Uncurling my white knuckled fingers from the edge, I reach between my legs and rub my swollen clit.
Billy laughs a little, amusement evident in his voice. “You’re so greedy” he grits, as he fucks me harder,
My fingers rub faster, matching his thrusts into me. Billy grins at me, his eyes hooded as he slows his thrusts into me to a torturous pace.
“God” I rush out, ignoring the urge to moan out after that.
Billy continues at the slow pace for a moment then picks up the pace again, fucking me hard.
“Fuck,” I whisper, my eyes glassing as tears threaten, the pleasure ripping through me.
“Did anyone fuck you like this?” I see Billy’s veins bulging and throbbing at his question and I shake my head. “Good, no one will.” He grits, pulling his two fingers out. My orgasm teeters as he pushes his cock deep into me.
“I’m going to come,” I whisper, tears rolling down my cheek at this overwhelming fullness that I feel. I tilt my hips up so his long cock rubs on the spot I need.
I can no longer resist the magnetic pull drawing me toward him. With a mixture of hesitation and longing, I close the remaining distance between us, my lips pressing against his in a bold and passionate kiss.
His response is immediate, his arms encircling me, pulling me closer, as if he too craves this connection. The kiss deepens, becoming a fierce exchange of desire and emotion.
My eyes roll, my back arches and I come hard, my orgasm splintering me in two. I swear I see stars, my ears ringing as the relief swarms me.
“Such a good girl,” He chokes, fucking me in short, hard thrusts, “I’m going to come,” he whispers.
I pant, he pants, his face edging towards me in an electrifying instant, our lips collide in a passionate fusion. It’s a dance of fire and vulnerability, a symphony of sensations that overwhelm my senses.
Our kiss deepens, a mingling of passion and tenderness. It’s as if time suspends, leaving only the intensity of our shared moment. Our lips move in perfect harmony, fueled by a hunger
A symphony of moans escapes my parted lips, blending with the intoxicating atmosphere around us. I lose myself in the intoxicating taste of his mouth, surrendering to the whirlwind of emotions that swirl within me. In that moment, nothing else matters but the heat and urgency of our connection.
His touch is electric, his hands guiding me closer, holding me as if afraid to let go. Fingers tangle in my hair, creating an anchor in this storm of desire.
Each brush of his lips against mine sends waves of pleasure coursing through me.
───── ❝ fear ❞ ─────
The tornado emerges on the horizon as a monstrous force of nature, its destructive power evident in its towering funnel cloud. It's a swirling vortex of darkness, a tempest that devours everything in its path. The winds, furious and relentless, whip through the air, creating a deafening roar that reverberates through the surroundings.
As it approaches, the tornado leaves a trail of devastation in its wake. Trees are uprooted, their branches tossed like twigs in the ferocious gusts. Debris becomes airborne, propelled with alarming velocity, transforming everyday objects into deadly projectiles.
The sheer magnitude of the tornado is awe-inspiring and terrifying. Its darkness stretches towards the heavens, a menacing presence against the darkened sky. It seems to command the atmosphere, bending it to its will as it spirals relentlessly forward.
The swirling mass engulfs the landscape, obscuring visibility with a dense cloud of dust and debris. Its raw power is palpable, an unstoppable force of nature that demands respect and humility.
Inside the school, the building shudders under the onslaught of the approaching storm. The air pressure fluctuates, causing windows to rattle and doors to creak. The sounds of destruction outside are muffled by the solid structure, yet the vibrations serve as a chilling reminder of the chaos unfolding just beyond the walls.
As I cower with Billy, a sense of vulnerability washes over me. We cling to each other, seeking solace and protection in our shared fear. The tornado's proximity amplifies the urgency, the desperate need to find shelter and hold on to hope amidst the chaos.
Through the windows, I catch glimpses of the swirling mass, the dark tendrils reaching out like ominous fingers. It's a sight that commands both awe and terror, a stark reminder of the immense power of nature and our own fragility in its presence.
The tornado rages on, its path cutting through the land with merciless force. It serves as a testament to the indomitable forces of nature, leaving behind a trail of destruction that serves as a somber reminder of its might. In its wake, lives are upended, and the true strength of the human spirit is tested.
I can't help but succumb to a vulnerable admission. With trembling words and a sheepish tone, I confess my deepest fear. "I'm... scared," I admit, my voice barely above a whisper, as if speaking the words aloud would make the fear all the more real.
Billy's gaze softens, his eyes reflecting a mixture of understanding and concern.
"I know," he responds, his voice gentle yet filled with an unwavering determination. "It's alright to be scared."
His words offer a glimmer of comfort amidst the chaos. I find solace in the fact that I'm not alone.
As the tornado's howling winds continue to pummel the school, we huddle closer, seeking shelter in each other's embrace. Billy's arms envelop me, providing a sense of protection against the outside world. In the safety of his presence, I allow myself to lean on him, to release the weight of my fears.
The deafening roar of the tornado intensifies, its monstrous presence drawing ever closer, a surge of adrenaline courses through my veins. Despite our attempts to find comfort in each other's embrace, the fear within me intensifies, threatening to overwhelm my senses.
I can feel the vibrations reverberating through the walls, the tremors of the approaching storm rattling the very foundation of the school. The once-distant sounds of destruction now grow ominously near, a chilling reminder of the tornado's relentless pursuit.
The windows tremble under the assault of the wind, and shards of glass occasionally shatter, scattering across the floor like glistening fragments of chaos. The air becomes heavy with debris, carried on the gusts that infiltrate the building, serving as a grim testament to the tornado's destructive path.
In the midst of this swirling chaos, I cling tightly to Billy, seeking refuge in his presence. His strong arms provide a sense of security, anchoring me to the present moment, even as the world outside seems to be spiraling out of control.
The tornado's wrath looms just beyond the school walls, a relentless force that threatens to consume everything in its path. The air grows thick with anticipation, our breaths shallow, as if awaiting the inevitable impact.
In the face of this impending danger, Billy's grip tightens, his unwavering strength serving as an anchor amidst the storm. His gaze meets mine, his eyes filled with determination, and I draw strength from the unwavering resolve in his expression.
"We're going to make it through this," he assures me, his voice steady despite the chaos surrounding us. His words resonate deep within me, stirring a flicker of hope amidst the fear that threatens to consume me.
As the tornado's monstrous presence engulfs the school, we brace ourselves, both physically and emotionally. Time seems to slow, each second stretching into eternity as we steel ourselves for the impact.
Exhausted from the harrowing ordeal, our bodies intertwined as we succumb to the weariness that envelops us. The tumultuous events of the storm have taken their toll, and we drift into a deep, restless sleep.
───── ❝ hope ❞ ─────
As the hours pass, the storm finally subsides, its wrath replaced by an eerie calm. The once-fierce winds now whisper faintly outside, their power spent. Slowly, consciousness begins to stir within us, like emerging from a foggy dream.
Then, as the tempest finally subsides, we are abruptly awoken by a profound silence. The deafening roar of the tornado gives way to an eerie stillness, broken only by the distant sound of emergency sirens and the occasional creak of a damaged structure.
Opening our eyes, we survey our surroundings, a scene of devastation unfolding before us. The once-familiar corridors are now marred by broken walls, shattered windows, and debris scattered haphazardly across the floor.
It’s a surreal sight, the aftermath of nature’s wrath. Yet, amidst the chaos, there is a glimmer of hope. We’ve made it through the storm, emerging on the other side battered but alive.
With the shattered glass on the detention room door, Billy reaches through and deftly turns the handle from the other side. A glimmer of relief washes over us, knowing that we now have an exit from the confined space. Though the windows are broken and the path to safety is strewn with debris, we realize that any open window will suffice, as the glass practically no longer exists.
"Be careful," Billy instructs, his voice laced with concern as he surveys the scattered remnants across the hallway. Taking my hand in his, we proceed with caution, navigating through the remnants of the storm's aftermath. The floor is littered with shattered glass, fallen ceiling tiles, and splintered furniture, a visual testament to the chaos we've endured.
As we make our way through the treacherous path, a fireman catches sight of us and rushes towards us, his expression a mix of relief and urgency. "I FOUND SOMEONE!" he exclaims, his voice filled with a mixture of triumph and concern. With a reassuring hand, he guides us toward the front yard where other students and teachers who sought refuge in the cellar have gathered.
The paramedics swiftly approach, their trained eyes assessing our well-being. Billy reluctantly releases my hand as the paramedic begins to check on us, ensuring that we've escaped the storm's grasp unscathed. I stand alongside Billy, the weight of the harrowing experience settling in, as we wait to be examined.
In the midst of the chaos and the flurry of emergency responders, a sense of gratitude washes over me. We've emerged from the devastation, finding our way to safety against all odds. As the paramedic assesses our physical well-being, I steal a glance at Billy, our eyes meeting briefly.
"Y/N!" Steve Harrington rushes to my side after the paramedics give us the all-clear. His face is filled with relief and a touch of disbelief. "Dude, I definitely thought you were dead."
I offer a wry smile, trying to lighten the mood. "Nope, just left for dead in detention."
Steve pulls me into a tight hug, a mixture of genuine concern and his signature humor. "I can't believe you almost died a virgin," he whispers, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he laughs to himself.
I feel a rush of embarrassment and look around, catching Billy's widened eyes. I see him trying to conceal his reaction, a flicker of annoyance briefly crossing his face.
"Steve!" I exclaim, a mixture of embarrassment and frustration tainting my tone. I shoot a quick glance at Billy, silently pleading for him to understand that Steve's comment was just typical Steve being Steve.
Steve, seemingly aware of the tension, quickly shifts his gaze to Billy, offering him a small smile. It's a gesture of acknowledgement and perhaps even an attempt at easing the tension in the moment.
Realizing that it's time to move on from the chaotic aftermath, Steve takes charge. "Come on," he says, gently guiding me away from the scene. Together, we leave Billy behind, the crowd engulfing him as friends and admirers gather to offer their support.
As we walk away, Steve's presence provides a sense of familiarity and comfort. His friendship, though at times unconventional, has become a pillar of support in the face of adversity. In this moment, his light-hearted banter serves as a reminder that we have survived, and life goes on.
"Hey guys," I halfheartedly greet Steve's friends, who have gradually accepted me as part of their group. They each offer their well wishes, making sure I'm okay before effortlessly transitioning into a different topic of conversation.
As I glance over my shoulder, I catch a glimpse of Billy, his smug demeanor fully intact as he revels in the attention he receives. It's not long before a girl eagerly throws herself at him, adding to the throng of admirers that surround him.
A pang of frustration tugs at my heart, a mix of envy and disappointment. Despite the connection we had forged amidst the chaos of the storm, it seems that Billy's attention is quickly diverted by others. I can't help but wonder if our momentary bond was merely a product of the circumstances, destined to fade away once the storm subsided.
I turn my attention back to Steve's friends, forcing a smile and engaging in their lighthearted banter. They provide a welcome distraction, reminding me that I have a support system of my own within this circle. Despite the lingering disappointment, I find ease in their genuine concern and acceptance.
Amidst the chatter and laughter, I take a deep breath, pushing aside the lingering thoughts of Billy's sudden shift in focus. I remind myself that friendships take time to develop and that everyone has their own journey. Perhaps Billy's actions are simply a reflection of his own insecurities, his need for validation in the wake of the storm.
Resolving to focus on my own path, I immerse myself in the conversation, allowing the warmth of friendship to wash over me. I appreciate the genuine connections I've formed with Steve's friends, knowing that their support will be a constant source of strength as we navigate the challenges that lie ahead.
While Billy may bask in the attention of others, I find comfort in the knowledge that true friendships are built on more than just fleeting moments. It's the shared experiences, the genuine support, and the unwavering presence in times of both joy and adversity that truly define the bonds we hold dear.
And so, I embrace the camaraderie of Steve's friends, grateful for their acceptance and friendship. As we continue to navigate the aftermath of the storm, I know that I have a place within this circle, even as the dynamics around us may shift. Together, we will face whatever comes our way, united in our resilience and the unwavering spirit of Hawkins.
───── ❝ unwilling ❞ ─────
"I don't really want to go," I sighed, sprawling out on Steve's couch. It had been a week since the storm wreaked havoc on our lives, and school was still on hold as they worked to repair and rebuild.
Steve, leaning against the armrest, nudged my feet off the couch. "Come on, it's a party. You're a teenager," he retorted, a playful glint in his eyes. "Besides, it's to celebrate you."
I let out a half-hearted groan, feeling a mix of reluctance and confusion. "It's to celebrate Billy Hargrove," I muttered, my voice laced with a hint of bitterness.
Steve rolled his eyes, sitting down next to me as he tied his shoe. He had never been a fan of Billy, and I knew I now had to act the same way. Deep down, buried beneath the layers of conflicting emotions, I couldn't deny that I carried feelings for Billy. Yet, it had been over a week since the storm, and he hadn't reached out or even acknowledged what had happened.
"You survived a whole eight-hour storm with him," Steve scoffed, a trace of admiration mixed with annoyance in his voice. "That deserves to be celebrated, whether you want to admit it or not."
"Alright, fine," I relented, sitting up on the couch and running a hand through my hair. "But I'm not going for Billy. I'm going for the people who supported me throughout it all, including you."
Steve flashed a smile, a genuine warmth in his eyes. "That's the spirit," he said, clapping a hand on my shoulder. "Now, let's go show them how strong we are, and have a little fun in the process."
I mustered a smile, appreciating Steve's unwavering support. With a renewed sense of purpose, I agreed to join him at the party. It was at Carol Perkins' house, a name that didn't reveal much apart from the fact that Steve seemed genuinely excited about it.
Steve and I hopped into his car, ready for the short drive across town to the party. As we cruised through the familiar streets of Hawkins, the buzz of excitement filled the air. The music from nearby houses echoed through the night, drawing us closer to the vibrant scene that awaited us.
We arrived at our destination, parking amidst a sea of cars that lined the street. The house before us was aglow with colored lights, and laughter and voices carried on the breeze. The front yard was transformed into a lively gathering, with groups of people engaged in animated conversations, clutching red cups or puffing on cigarettes.
Steve and I stepped out of the car, joining the lively crowd that had gathered. The atmosphere was electric, with the mingling scents of alcohol and smoke hanging in the air. Music pulsed through the speakers, setting the rhythm for the night ahead.
"Hey!" Carol greeted with enthusiasm as Steve walked in, and I followed closely behind him.
"Hey," Steve smiled in response, his charm radiating as always.
Carol, as the host of the party, beamed at us, eager to ensure our enjoyment. "Let's get you two some drinks!" she exclaimed, leading us toward the bustling kitchen. As we navigated through the crowd, Carol exchanged greetings with people along the way, her presence captivating those around her.
Finally reaching the kitchen, my eyes caught sight of Billy, engaged in conversation with a girl as he casually sipped from his plastic cup. He exuded a confident demeanor, drawing attention effortlessly.
"It's the survivors!" the girl practically glued against Billy's chest exclaimed, a wide grin spreading across her face. She gestured between me and Billy. "What was it like? Being in the storm?"
I felt a lump form in my throat, momentarily taken aback by the directness of her question. The memories of the storm still lingered, the chaos and other things vivid in my mind. I swallowed, searching for the right words to convey our shared experience.
"Um," I hesitated, my voice betraying a mix of emotions. It was difficult to put into words what we had endured. The storm had brought us together in unexpected ways, and part of me was still grappling with the complex emotions that surfaced in its wake. "Oh, you know, it was a wild ride,"
Steve, offered a lighthearted smile. "But Y/N is here now, stronger than ever."
His words served as a gentle reminder that we had emerged from the storm with a newfound strength. It was a subtle redirection of the conversation, allowing us to navigate the topic with a touch of optimism.
The surrounding people’s attention shifted from me to Steve, intrigued by his playful response. As the conversation continued, I took a moment to collect myself, reminding myself that it was okay to feel a mix of emotions.
Taking a deep breath, I looked around the lively kitchen, the hum of laughter and music filling the air. Despite the lingering unease, there was a sense of camaraderie among the partygoers, united by the shared experience of surviving the storm. As the evening unfolded, I knew there would be more conversations, and more reflections. And as I raised my own plastic cup in a silent toast to resilience, I embraced the uncertainty of the night, ready to navigate the intricacies of the party at Carol’s house.
The girl turned her attention back to Billy, her flirtatious demeanor unwavering. "Babe," she cooed, her voice dripping with sugary sweetness, causing me to snap my attention back towards them. "I really like this song. Let's go dance."
Billy furrowed his eyebrows, a trace of annoyance flickering across his face as he took another sip of his drink. "I don't dance," he replied curtly, his tone leaving no room for negotiation.
Undeterred, the girl forced a laugh, attempting to brush off his resistance. "Yes, you do," she insisted, her hand balling his shirt in a feeble attempt to pull him towards the dance floor.
In a moment of defiance, Billy swiftly pulled her hand off him, his gaze steely. "And I'm not your 'babe'. Fuck off," he snapped, his words dripping with a mixture of frustration and defiance.
A stunned silence fell between them, the girl taken aback by Billy's unexpected rejection. As she stumbled to find a response, I couldn't help but feel a surge of satisfaction.
I watched as Billy turned away from her, his attention shifting elsewhere. His eyes met mine briefly, a flicker of recognition passing between us as the girl retreated, nursing her bruised ego.
Steve threw his head back, a wide grin on his face as he finished his drink. "Do you want to play beer pong?" he asked, his excitement evident.
"I've never played, Steve," I admitted, a mix of curiosity and apprehension in my voice.
Steve's smile only grew wider as he responded, "No worries! We'll be a team. Tommy!" he called out, scanning the crowd. "Beer pong? Me and Y/N versus you and..."
Tommy Hagen, his cup in hand, made his way into the somewhat crowded kitchen, his eyes searching for the source of the invitation. "Hargrove," his tone carrying a hint of challenge.
"Yeah, sure," Billy agreed, casually throwing back the remainder of his drink. Without missing a beat, he headed towards the back yard, Tommy following closely behind.
Steve interlaced our fingers, ensuring we wouldn't be separated in the sea of people. Together, we slowly weaved through the partygoers, making our way to the table set up in the back yard. I watched as Tommy filled the plastic cups with alcohol, his movements fluid and precise.
Billy's gaze briefly flickered towards our intertwined hands, a subtle tension radiating from him. In a quick motion, he averted his eyes, unwilling to dwell on the sight.
As we joined the others at the beer pong table, I couldn't help but feel a mix of excitement and nerves. The air was filled with a blend of anticipation and friendly competition as we prepared to face off against Tommy and Billy.
As the game commenced, laughter and cheers filled the air, mingling with the pulsating beat of the music. We threw ourselves into the game, reveling in the friendly banter and the thrill of each successful shot.
In the midst of the playful competition, I stole glances at Billy, our eyes occasionally meeting in brief, unguarded moments.
───── ❝ unwavering ❞ ─────
Steve and Tommy stood on the sidelines, their eyes fixed on the final ball I held in my hand. With determination in their voices, they offered words of encouragement. "You can do it!" Steve cheered, his voice filled with unwavering support.
But Billy, leaning casually against the table on the opposite end, couldn't resist taunting me. His laughter rang through the air as he dismissed my chances of success. "No, you can't," he taunted, his voice laced with playful arrogance. "Sweetheart, you're gonna miss it. Just give up and let me win this."
I took a deep breath, blocking out Billy's teasing remarks. With a focused gaze, I bounced the ping pong ball, sending it soaring through the air. Time seemed to slow down as it descended, its trajectory aligning perfectly with the last cup in front of Billy.
A moment of silence hung in the air, followed by a collective gasp from the onlookers. The ball found its mark, landing with precision and sinking into the cup. Tommy groaned in defeat, while Steve erupted into jubilant celebration.
In the midst of the commotion, Steve embraced me in a tight hug. As we basked in the victory, Steve's voice cut through the noise. "How's the normal teenage experience going?" he asked, a hint of mischief in his tone.
I shrug, a playful smile tugging at the corners of my lips. "I don't think I love parties, but this one is okay," I replied, my words carrying a sense of lightheartedness.
Steve guided me back inside, his hand resting on the small of my back, leading me away from the beer pong table and the lingering sight of Billy surrounded by his admirers. The pulsating energy of the party filled the air, as people mingled and conversations buzzed around us.
But before I could process it all, a girl stepped forward, a flirtatious smile playing on her lips. "Hey, Steve. You look really great tonight," she said, her fingers absently toying with the hem of her shirt.
Steve returned her smile, and I felt a twinge of discomfort at the sight. Not wanting to be a mere bystander in his flirtations, I decided to make my way to the kitchen, in search of a respite from the lively crowd.
As I stood by the sink, filling my cup with cool water, a voice interrupted my thoughts. "Hi, Y/N, right?" a boy asked, catching my attention.
I turned to face him, trying to place his face. "Yep, that's me," I replied, my voice friendly and polite.
“We had English together last year, remember?”
I racked my brain, desperately searching for any recollection of our past encounter. But the truth was, I drew a blank. "Oh! Yeah, totally," I replied, offering a quick smile and a small nod, hoping to mask my lack of memory.
"I think you're, like, really brave for managing to stay strong after what you went through," the boy remarked, taking a step closer to me.
I smiled appreciatively at his kind words, grateful for the acknowledgment. "Well, I wasn't alone,"
He chuckled, a warm sound that echoed in the lively atmosphere. "But you and Billy don't exactly get along," he observed, his eyes sparkling with curiosity. "I don't think I could have gotten out of that detention unscathed like you."
A soft laugh escaped my lips, a blend of amusement and understanding. "You never know, sometimes the people you least expect can surprise you," I mused, my gaze meeting his with a touch of optimism.
"So, you having fun?" he asked, a playful grin on his face.
I nodded "I was. It's been quite a night."
He chuckled, teasingly. "Steve ditch you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "Is he like your boyfriend now or something?"
I let out a laugh, shaking my head at the suggestion. "Ew, no," I replied, a touch of amusement in my tone. "Steve and I have been best friends since like Kindergarten."
Billy entered the kitchen, his gaze fixated on the boy I was engaged in conversation with. There was a subtle tension in the air as he approached us, his eyes narrowing in an unspoken challenge.
The boy in front of me joined in on the laughter, the sound filling the space between us. "So, there's no boyfriend then?" he inquired, curiosity glinting in his eyes.
Billy's presence beside me was palpable, his intense gaze fixed on the boy as he approached the sink next to me.
I shifted slightly, feeling the subtle brush of Billy’s arm against mine as he reached behind me to fill his cup with water. The proximity sent a shiver down my spine, a mix of excitement and trepidation coursing through me.
As I turned my attention back to the boy in front of me, I couldn't help but notice the curiosity gleaming in his eyes. His question lingered in the air, and I felt a playful smile tug at the corners of my lips.
"No," I replied, my voice carrying a hint of amusement.
Billy cleared his throat, drawing our attention to his presence as he leaned against the counter beside me. His piercing gaze locked onto the other boy, sizing him up with an intense scrutiny. He took a deliberate sip of his water, his lips curling into a faint smirk.
The boy, seemingly unfazed by Billy's imposing aura, mustered up the courage to ask, "Would you want to go out sometime then? With me?"
Caught off guard, I glanced around, feeling a slight twinge of awkwardness. The weight of the moment seemed to hang in the air, and I searched for the right words to respond. “Oh,” I stammered, my cheeks flushing slightly. “Yeah, maybe.”
As the words left my lips, I sensed a shift in the energy between Billy and me. A silent tension enveloped us, as if the unspoken connection we shared danced on the precipice of something more. Billy’s expression remained inscrutable, his gaze holding mine for a fleeting moment before he turned and walked away.
Left standing there, my attention returned to the boy in front of me, who seemed content with my response.
“Awesome,” the boy grinned, his excitement palpable. “So should I, like, call you?”
I offered a smile. “Obviously not right now, but I’ll see you around,” I replied, slowly starting to leave the kitchen.
But before I could make my way through the crowd, the boy took a few steps to follow me. His enthusiasm was endearing, but my mind was elsewhere. “Do you want to dance or anything?”
“No, I actually have to find Steve,” I explained, my voice barely audible above the pulsating music. “Make sure he isn’t passed out or whatever.”
As I turned to make my way back into the heart of the party, I found myself engulfed in a sea of people, the noise and energy enveloping me. It was then that I felt a hand brush past my waist, sending a shiver down my spine. A familiar breath tickled my ear, and I turned to find Billy standing there, his presence commanding my attention.
His words, laced with a mixture of intrigue and mischief, sent a jolt of excitement through me. “You excited for your little date?” he whispered, his voice filled with a hint of playfulness.
I could feel my heart race in response, a surge of conflicting emotions swirling within me.
With a playful smile, I leaned closer to Billy, allowing myself to be caught up in the electrifying atmosphere of the party. “I guess we’ll see,” I whispered back, my voice carrying a touch of mystery.
Billy’s hand wrapped around my wrist, his grip firm yet gentle. I held my breath, anticipation coursing through me as I waited for him to speak. “I thought I told you,”
Before Billy could utter another word, Steve’s voice cut through the noise of the party, calling out my name. The moment shattered as I turned my head in Steve’s direction, momentarily distracted by his presence.
Billy's jaw clenched, his eyes refusing to waver from mine as he released my wrist. A mixture of frustration and longing crossed his face, evident in the way he huffed and ran a hand through his hair. Without another word, he turned and walked away, disappearing into the swirling sea of partygoers.
Steve finally reached me, his presence providing a sense of grounding amidst the whirlwind of emotions. He took my hand, his touch comforting as he pulled me away from the chaotic scene. "I've been looking for you!" he exclaimed, a mixture of relief and concern in his voice. "Let's take a break and sit outside."
I allowed Steve to lead me towards the door, but my gaze kept turning back, trying to catch a glimpse of Billy amidst the crowd. There was a part of me that yearned for closure, for answers to the unspoken connection between us.
As we stepped outside, the noise of the party faded into the background, replaced by the soft breeze and the distant sound of music. Steve found a quiet spot, and we settled down, the weight of the evening's events settling upon us.
Even as I tried to focus on the present moment with Steve, my mind kept drifting back to Billy. I couldn't shake the feeling of unfinished business, the lingering questions that remained unanswered.
I found myself torn between the familiarity of Steve's friendship and the magnetic pull of Billy's enigmatic presence.
“How’s your night been?” I asked Steve, a playful smile tugging at the corners of my lips. “What happened with that girl?”
Steve’s face lit up with excitement as he shared the news. “We’re going out tomorrow night!” he exclaimed, unable to contain his happiness.
I let out a dramatic sigh, teasing him gently. “Finally!” I exclaimed, feigning exasperation. “I thought you’d never make a move on anyone.”
Steve pouted playfully, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “Hey now,” he protested, his tone mockingly hurt. “You’re the only girl my parents like. You’re stuck with me for life.”
“Yeah, I’m okay with that,” I replied, a playful smile curling on my lips. “As long as I’m not forced to be the next Mrs. Harrington.”
Steve chuckled, his eyes shining with affection. “I love you, but let’s hope it doesn’t come to that,” he teased. “The only way we’re ever getting married is if we’re both unhappy, stuck in Hawkins, and still single at the ripe old age of 35.”
We shared a lighthearted laugh, knowing that our futures held so much more than the small town we called home.
I gazed out at the street, the aftermath of the storm evident in the fallen trees and debris scattered along the pavement. The cool breeze brushed against my skin, providing a refreshing respite from the muffled sounds of the ongoing party.
Steve's voice broke through my reverie, his question drawing my attention. "You ready to go home?" he asked, concern lacing his words.
I tilted my head playfully, eyeing him. "Are you sober enough to drive?" I teased, knowing Steve's tendency to indulge in a drink or two during social gatherings.
A mischievous grin appeared on his face. "Do you need me to recite the alphabet backwards?" he retorted, a hint of mock seriousness in his tone.
Chuckling, I pushed myself up from the spot where I had been sitting. "I have to use the bathroom first," I informed him, gesturing towards the house. "I'll meet you at the car."
Steve nodded, his eyes following me as I made my way back inside. Finding my way through the lively crowd, I navigated towards the bathroom, grateful for a moment of solitude amidst the vibrant energy of the party.
I closed the bathroom door behind me, shutting out the chaos of the party, and I took a moment to collect myself. Placing my hands on either side of the sink, I leaned forward, my eyes fixed on my reflection in the mirror.
Taking a deep breath, I let the weight of the night wash over me. The exhilaration, the uncertainties, and the tantalizing possibilities that lay just beyond the horizon. With renewed determination, I straightened up and met my own gaze in the mirror.
I reached for the door handle, my hand poised to open it and rejoin the party outside. However, before I could grasp the handle, the door swung open, revealing Billy standing there, his expression filled with a mix of anger and frustration. He stepped inside, closing the door behind him, effectively trapping us in the confined space of the bathroom.
My breath caught in my throat as I met his intense gaze. The air between us crackled with tension, and I could feel the weight of his words before he even spoke them. “I’m real fucking mad at you,” he stated firmly, his voice laced with a raw intensity. he reaches his hand forward, wrapping his fingers around the base of my throat.
“Why is that?” I challenged, my voice laced with a mixture of frustration and determination. My eyes blazed with heat as I locked onto his.
His response came as a whisper, yet it reverberated through the room. “I told you, you’re mine,” he declared, his voice filled with a mix of possessiveness and vulnerability. “Or did you forget?”
“Maybe,” I retorted, my voice filled with a mix of defiance and playful challenge. “Are you going to have to remind me?”
A mischievous grin danced across Billy’s lips, and he closed the distance between us, stepping towards me until my back was pressed against the cool surface of the kitchen sink. His proximity sent a thrill coursing through me, and my breath hitched in anticipation.
In that moment, the world around us faded into the background as his lips captured mine in a passionate and all-consuming kiss.
The intensity of his touch sent shivers down my spine, erasing any doubts or hesitations that lingered within me. Our lips moved in perfect synchrony, a dance of desire and longing.
As our kiss deepened, the outside world ceased to exist. There was only the heat of our connection, the intertwining of our breaths, and the shared exploration of unspoken desires. The sound of the party faded into a distant hum, drowned out by the rising tide of passion between us. I surrendered myself to the intoxicating pull of Billy’s touch. The heat of his lips against mine, the possessiveness of his embrace.
“Are you okay Y/N?” I hear Steve’s voice, his fingers knocking on the door.
I heard Steve’s voice outside the bathroom door, his concerned tone breaking through the haze of passion that enveloped me. Billy pulled back slightly, his body still pressed against mine, as he placed a few sloppy kisses along my jaw and collarbones. The sensation sent a shiver down my spine, heightening the desire that pulsed between us.
I struggled to compose myself, my voice slightly breathless as I responded to Steve, “Yeah, I’m okay! Just be a minute!” My words came out in a rushed whisper, my mind still clouded by the intensity of the moment.
“Okay, I’ll be in the car. Hurry up” Steve’s voice faded into the background as Billy suckles at the perfect tender spot on my skin and I moan softly.
Billy’s lips found their way back to mine, his kisses carrying a mix of urgency and longing. I couldn’t help but respond, my own desire intertwining with his, as our lips met in another passionate embrace
As I reluctantly pulled back from Billy’s intoxicating kiss, my mind momentarily drifted to the world outside our passionate bubble. “I have to go”
Billy groaned in response, his lips seeking mine once more as if pleading to continue. In that moment, I found myself succumbing to the allure of his touch, momentarily forgetting everything around me.
But reality had a way of sneaking back in, and I gently pushed against Billy’s chest, creating a small space between us. “Steve’s waiting,” I reminded him, my voice filled with a mixture of longing and apprehension. Steve’s name hung in the air like a fleeting reminder of responsibility.
A flicker of frustration danced across Billy’s face, but he quickly composed himself. His breath brushed against my skin as he muttered, “Don’t think about him when I’m touching you,” his words laced with desire and possessiveness. His lips found their way to my collarbones, planting a series of fervent kisses, igniting a fire within me that was hard to extinguish.
The sensations overwhelmed me, and for a moment, I was lost in the thought of what could happen tonight. But the knowledge that I couldn’t keep Steve waiting tugged at my conscience, and with a heavy sigh, I reluctantly disentangled myself from Billy’s embrace.
“I have to go,” I whispered, my voice filled with a mix of longing and regret. I brushed a strand of hair away from my face, my eyes locked with his for a fleeting moment, conveying the unspoken desire and unfinished emotions between us.
Billy nodded, his eyes holding a mix of longing and disappointment. With a final lingering kiss on my lips, he released me, allowing me to make my way back to the reality awaiting me outside the secluded space we had shared.
As I closed the bathroom door behind me, leaving Billy in the temporary sanctuary of our shared desires, I returned to the vibrant atmosphere of the party. The sounds of laughter and music filled the air, mingling with the fluttering butterflies in my stomach.
Outside, Steve awaited me in his car, his impatience evident as he drummed his hands on the steering wheel. I slid into the passenger seat, a small smile playing on my lips. "That took forever," he groaned, playfully expressing his frustration.
I rolled my eyes, a hint of amusement in my voice. "Oh, come on. It wasn't that long."
He chuckled, shaking his head in mock exasperation. With a twist of the ignition, the car roared to life, carrying us away from the lingering echoes of the party. The drive back to his house was filled with comfortable silence.
As the familiar sights of Hawkins passed by, I couldn't help but feel a mix of excitement and uncertainty. The memory of Billy's touch still lingered. But for now, as Steve maneuvered through the familiar streets, I leaned back in my seat, allowing the cool night air to brush against my skin.
As we approached Steve's house, I couldn't help but steal a glance at the rearview mirror, catching a glimpse of my reflection. The spark in my eyes, the trace of a smile on my lips, and the memories of the stolen moments with Billy were reminders of the whirlwind that had enveloped me.
As we stepped out of the car and made our way into Steve's house, a heavy sigh escaped his lips, drawing my attention to my best friend. Concern etched across my face, I reached out to him. "What's up?" I inquired, my voice filled with genuine curiosity.
Steve's shoulders slumped, his gaze fixed on the ground. "I feel like an asshole," he admitted, his voice laced with self-blame.
Surprised by his confession, I searched his eyes for answers. "Why?" I questioned gently, hoping to understand his turmoil.
"When the sirens went off, I didn't even think about you," Steve confessed, his words heavy with regret. "We got to the cellar and locked the doors. Nobody noticed you and Billy were gone."
I listened attentively, a mix of understanding and compassion flooding my heart. I reached out, gently placing my hand on his arm. "Steve, it's okay. We lived," I reassured him, my voice filled with reassurance.
His eyes met mine, a glimmer of sadness reflecting in their depths. "And if you didn't? Y/N, I can't imagine a world without you," he confessed, his voice choked with emotion. "Seriously, if they had pulled out your body, I'd..."
I placed a comforting hand on his cheek, my touch meant to convey understanding. "Billy actually protected me," I interrupted softly, wanting to ease his guilt. "He made sure I was okay. We talked and slept through most of the storm."
Steve's eyes widened in surprise, his expression a mix of relief and concern. "I wish I could have been there with you," he whispered, his voice filled with genuine regret.
Squeezing his hand gently, I offered him a small smile. "It's okay, Steve," I reassured him, my words filled with sincerity. "You couldn't have known what would happen."
Steve nodded, a mix of gratitude and sadness in his eyes.
───── ❝ unknown ❞ ─────
Steve parked the car in front of my house, and we both sat there for a moment, a mixture of excitement and nerves filling the air. He turned to look at me from the driver’s seat, his eyes searching for reassurance.
"Are you sure this shirt isn't ugly?" he asked, a hint of insecurity in his voice.
I couldn't help but gasp in surprise. "I brought you that shirt," I exclaimed, remembering the day we went shopping together and stumbled upon that particular piece.
He didn't say anything, just stared at me with a mix of gratitude and surprise.
"No, Steve," I reassured him. "You look great. Go enjoy your date. Just make sure she doesn't realize how much of a dumbass you can be sometimes."
A smile played on his lips as he nodded. "I'll call you later."
"I don't need the details," I teased, rolling my eyes playfully.
He waved goodbye and drove off, leaving me standing in front of my house wearing one of Steve's old shirts and a pair of shorts. I watched as his car disappeared down the street, feeling a mix of happiness for him and a tinge of loneliness.
Just then, the sound of a car engine caught my attention. I turned and saw Billy parking his blue Camaro a few houses away. My heart skipped a beat as I watched him step out of the car, his presence commanding attention.
I took a deep breath, adjusting my borrowed shirt, and made my way towards him.
“Hey,” I greeted Billy as I approached him, a mix of anticipation and nervousness swirling inside me.
"You weren't here last night," he observed, his eyes scanning me for any signs of explanation.
"No," I replied, raising an eyebrow. "I stayed at Steve's."
Billy's expression flickered, a hint of surprise and something else I couldn't quite decipher. He glanced away momentarily before meeting my gaze again.
"Steve's, huh?" he remarked, his tone laced with a hint of skepticism.
I shrugged, not wanting to delve into the details. "Yeah, we just hung out, talked, and watched some movies. Nothing special."
Billy's eyes lingered on me for a moment longer, as if searching for something beneath the surface. He seemed torn between curiosity and restraint, his usual guarded demeanor wavering.
"Well," he finally said, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. "Guess I'll have to make up for lost time then." A playful glint danced in Billy's eyes as he asked, "Are you going to invite me inside, or do I have to settle for fucking you in my car?"
I smirked, enjoying Billy's playful challenge. "Well, if you're offering, I wouldn't mind the car," I replied with a teasing glint in my eyes.
Billy raised an eyebrow, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. "Is that so?" he responded, stepping closer to me.
Before I could respond, he leaned in, capturing my lips in a searing kiss. The intensity of his touch sent a jolt of electricity through me, igniting a fire that had been smoldering between us
As the kiss deepened, I could feel the hunger and desire building between us, a magnetic force pulling us closer together. The touch of his lips against mine was both passionate and tender, a perfect balance of raw emotion and restrained longing.
Eventually, we pulled apart, our breaths mingling in the air. Billy's eyes bore into mine, his gaze filled with a mixture of desire and vulnerability. It was a silent invitation, an unspoken question hanging between us.
I smiled, the answer clear in my eyes. "Why don't we take this inside?" I suggested, my voice filled with anticipation.
Billy nodded, his grip tightening around his keys. "Lead the way," he murmured, a newfound excitement dancing in his eyes.
As I entered the house, Billy followed closely behind, the anticipation between us growing with each passing moment. I called out, hoping nobody would be home to answer. The absence of any response confirmed that we were alone, adding an extra layer of excitement to the air. “I guess it’s just us”
“Good” Billy responded quickly, pressing me against the wall, a surge of heat coursed through my veins, intensifying the desire between us. His hands explored my body with a hunger that mirrored my own, igniting a fiery passion that consumed us both.
Our lips met in a desperate kiss, a collision of lips and tongues that spoke volumes of the untamed desire we shared. Each touch, each caress sent electric shocks through my body, awakening every nerve ending. I melted into his embrace, surrendering to the intoxicating sensations that enveloped us.
Billy’s touch was both gentle and possessive, his fingertips tracing delicate patterns along my skin, leaving a trail of tingling sensations in their wake. The heat between us grew, fueling an insatiable hunger that seemed to consume us entirely.
As our bodies moved in sync, the rhythm of our desires matched perfectly. Moans and whispers filled the air, mingling with the sound of our racing hearts.
"Where's your bedroom?" Billy asked between kisses, his voice husky with desire.
"It's right over..." I started to respond, but my words were interrupted by a yelp as he effortlessly picked me up, his strength evident. The excitement in his eyes only intensified my own anticipation.
"Tell me," he demanded, his voice laced with a mix of command and desire.
I quickly directed him to my room, my heart racing as we made our way there. The anticipation grew with every step, each one bringing us closer to the privacy we both craved.
As we entered the room, Billy wasted no time in locking the door, ensuring that we were completely alone in our intimate space. The click of the lock echoed through the room, sealing us away from the outside world.
He gently placed me down on the bed, his touch sending sparks of electricity through my body. The hunger in his eyes mirrored my own.
“You makes my heart thump, my cock hard and my mind dirty. The things I want to do to you should be considered a sin.” Billy mumbled, his gaze fixed on me as I lay on my bed. His words caused a warmth to spread across my cheeks, a blush that betrayed the mix of emotions swirling within me.
Billy shifted his position, his body now hovering above mine, his strength carefully balanced to ensure he didn’t overwhelm me with his weight. As he settled into this new position, his hand gently traced the curve of my bottom lip, his touch eliciting a shiver that ran down my spine.
His gaze locked with mine, his eyes filled with a mixture of desire and tenderness. The touch of his hand on my lip was both electrifying and gentle, a delicate cares.. His fingers traced the outline, as if memorizing every contour, every detail, igniting a fiery longing within me. I felt my breath hitch in anticipation, my heart pounding with a mixture of excitement and nervousness.
“I want you, right now” I whisper, my lips hovering over his as I grabs the hem of Steve’s shirt, “but I need to get this off.” Billy nods. It’s bad enough I’m about to fuck my best friend’s enemy again, but I don’t want to fuck him with his clothes on.
I lift the large shirt over my head, discarding it to the floor and he dives forward, lips on my neck as he licks, kisses and sucks on my soft skin. My hands are in his hair, pulling his lips from her skin so I can sink my lips over his in a slow, torturous kiss before I pull on my bottom lip with my teeth.
Billy moves away from me, pulling at the string of the shorts and tugging them down my legs. My hands find his broad shoulders as I sit up and balance herself, removing one foot at a time. Billy throws them to the side before his eyes glide up my body, taking every inch of me in until his eyes finally land on mine. My eyes fluttering as I blink, chest rising and falling fast.
Billy tugs my legs forward so i’m sat on the edge of my mattress before pushing his lips against my inner thigh, trailing soft kisses against my hot skin.
“Y/N” He whispers, looking up at me through his lashes, “You’re mine.”
I cant help but nod my head, shallow pants leaving me.
“Good,” He groans, lifting his lips and pressing them on my other thigh, hooking a long finger in the side of the scrap of material and pull it to the side, exposing me. Sinking his teeth into his bottom lip, I watch him fall back on his knees as he reaches for me with his other hand and pushes my lips apart, sucking in a breath through his teeth.
“Billy,” I whisper, as he lifts my leg and place it over his shoulder, then tap my inner thigh of my left leg asking for me to spread out a little.
“Remember what I said before the storm?” He let his eyes find mine. “I said I like it when you say my name. Now sweetheart, I want you to show me how good my name sounds coming off your tongue whilst you cum on mine.”
“Fuck,” I whisper, as he swipes his tongue through my parted lips, flicking it against my clit then gliding it down, swirling and teasing before his back on the clit, sucking and nibbling. His fingers dig into my sensitive skin, spare hand skimming up to my bare stomach and holding me in place to stop my wriggling.
He buries his tongue deeper, trailing a hand to my other thigh and lift it over his left shoulder, then grip to my waist as he holds me where he wants me.
Slowly grazing his fingers under her ass, he lets them trail down behind me and tease at her opening, edging the tip of two fingers into my soaked pussy which causes my hips to buck forward, as his tongue laps across my sensitive area.
“Oh, Billy,” I pant, fingers finding his hair as I tug at the root, pushing him deeper.
Edging a little further into me, I feel him curl his fingers as he rubs my g-spot then slowly begin pumping in and out, matching the strokes of his tongue.
“Please Billy, I need more,” I begs, and he lifts his mouth from me, so he can look at me, fingers still fucking me.
“Then come,” He smirks, throwing a wink at me as he lurches forward and sinks his tongue between my lips again, sucking on my clit.
Billy teases with a third fingertip causing me to whimper as he slowly slips it in. I constrict around his fingers, pelvis tilting up slightly, giving him better access.
“I knew you were greedy,” He whispers between tongue strokes.
“Billy,” I moans, feeling him tilt his head to the side slightly and press his tongue flat against my clit “Shit,” I cry.
“Are you going to come for me?” His fingers fuck faster, harder.
“Yes, so fucking hard,” I cry again, fingers knot in his hair. I clench tightly as I grind down on his fingers, hips rocking back and forth slowly and I start to lose control.
I screams his name, pleasure lacing my voice. I feel Billy slide his tongue to her opening, lapping up as the wetness coats his fingers. He pulls away, watching as his fingers continue to fuck me, arousal coats his hand, a few drips running down his wrist and he smirks up at me.
“Enjoying this, sweetheart?” He asks in a raspy tone as he slowly moves my legs down and they tremble in his tight grip. I nod slowly, hazy from the orgasm that ripped through me. I reach between her legs and starts swirling my fingers over my clit.
He keeps his eyes focused on my pussy but just as I gets into it, I make myself stop, reaching for his hand and slipping his fingers out. I lifts them to my lips and sucks the three of them clean whilst keeping my eyes pinned on his. “Oh fuck,” Billy moans as pleasure ripples through him.
I grab his chin, fingers tight as I grips, and pulls him to my feet. Billy towers over me, causing my hand to drop.
“Now it’s my turn,” My fingers run under the waistband of his jeans, then hungrily tug them down his toned thighs. I feel my eyes widen, glazing with delight as I looks from his cock to his face, and smiles.
“I want you to take all of me,” Billy grips a fistful of my hair, tipping my head back so she has no option now but to look at him. “Do you understand? Every, single, inch of me.”
I nods eagerly, licking my lips.
“Good” He croons, stepping forwards as he pulls me towards him. My hands wrap around his girthy length as I purse my lips at his tip. My tongue swipes across, licking the precum away then hollowing my cheeks as I take him to the back of my throat. My body lurches forward as I gag, slipping me from her mouth. “Take it slow…”
I hear Billy choke on his own breath as I push my mouth down my cock, stilling when I get to the base and this time, I don’t gag.
“Shit,” He sucks in a harsh breath, and I slip him in and out of my mouth then twirls my tongue at his tip, I flatten my tongue and run it down the underside of his cock.
“Y/N,” Billy grits out, head tipping back as he grabs a bigger fistful of her hair, mouth slipping down his. “I’m going to explode,” He moans, moving my head up and down, teeth gently grazing along the sensitive skin. I pull him from my mouth, then spits on him. Rubbing my thumb over the tip of his dick. “Fuck. Open your mouth.”
I do as he says, sitting on my knees, eyes on him as, waiting with open mouth. I watch as Billy fists himself, keeping eyes locked on me.
His jaw clenches, head falling forward as pleasure consumes him. I just kneel up, taking him in my mouth as he wraps a hand around the back of my head, holding me there as he gently fucks my mouth. Saliva runs down my chin, my moans pushing Billy to continue.
“I’m going to come,” He grits, hips thrusting fast, cock slipping in and out of my mouth sloppily.
His eyes roll in the back of his head as I suck the life from him, lurching forward spurting down the back of my throat.
“Fuck!” He roars, a shiver blankets him causing him to shudder. I fall back, wiping the corner of her mouth before standing. Pulling me her towards him, Billy wraps his arms around me. We just stand for a while, completely forgetting where we are, just lost in this moment.
And in the aftermath, as our breaths mingled and our bodies trembled with the intensity of our shared release, we lay intertwined, our hearts still racing in the aftermath of our fiery encounter.
───── ❝ exposition ❞ ─────

School returned to its normal routine a week later, and during that time, Billy and I hadn’t crossed paths. The absence of his presence left a lingering sense of anticipation and curiosity within me.
Walking through the familiar hallways, I couldn’t help but steal glances, searching for that familiar mop of dark hair, those piercing blue eyes that had ignited a fire within me.
Billy sauntered into the hallways, his presence commanding attention as his eyes locked with mine. A smile tugged at the corners of my lips. However, before I could fully revel in that moment, my view of Billy was interrupted by the boy from the party, who had approached me.
“Hey, Y/N, how are you?” he greeted, trying to engage in conversation.
I offered a polite smile, my mind still lingering on the enigmatic boy who had captured my attention. “Um, fine,” I replied, trying to keep my focus on the present as I opened my locker.
The boy seemed eager, perhaps misinterpreting my friendliness. “I was a little nervous to call, so I was hoping we could just go for dinner and a movie tonight after school.”
I hesitated, my thoughts momentarily shifting to the secret moments I had shared with Billy, the secret connection that still lingered.
“Oh, sorry,” I began, my voice gentle yet firm, “but I’m actually not interested.”
His expression faltered, a mix of surprise and disappointment evident on his face. I felt a pang of guilt, understanding that I had inadvertently led him on.
“But you…” he started, his voice tinged with frustration as he reached out and grabbed my arm.
“Please don’t touch me,” I firmly requested, pulling my arm away from his grasp. It was a clear boundary that needed to be set, a reminder that my consent and personal space were to be respected.
I could feel Billy’s gaze on me as I shut my locker, determined to create distance between myself and the boy who had approached me. With a resolute stride, I made my way down the hall and into an empty classroom, seeking solace in the familiar walls and quiet atmosphere. I sat on a desk near the front, my eyes fixed on the door, silently hoping that Billy would follow.
A minute later, the door cracked open, and I held my breath as Billy slipped inside. There was a mixture of curiosity and concern in his eyes, as if he had sensed something amiss and was now seeking answers.
Without uttering a word, I gestured for him to join me. He closed the door behind him, the sound of it sealing us off from the outside world.
Billy took a few tentative steps toward me, his expression filled with an unspoken question. I met his gaze, my eyes reflecting a myriad of emotions, a mix of uncertainty and longing.
Billy positioned his hands on either side of me. I could feel his touch, his fingers lightly brushing against my thighs, sending a shiver down my spine.
“Yours,” I whispered, my voice barely audible in the intimate space between us.
A smug smirk danced on Billy’s lips as he leaned in, closing the distance between us. Our lips met in a passionate kiss, a merging of desire. His hands explored my body, tracing tantalizing paths, leaving a trail of electrifying sensations in their wake.
But just as the intensity between us reached its peak, the sound of the bell echoed through the classroom, signaling the end of our stolen moment. With reluctance, Billy pulled away, his eyes locked with mine, both of us left craving more.
“We’ll continue this later,” he murmured, his voice laced with a mixture of promise and frustration.
Copyright © 2023 Altitude. All rights reserved.
#written while i wasted 4 hours of my life in a queue for taylor swift tickets (no i didn’t get any)#this has been rewritten about 18 times because tumblr hates me so much what the fuck#btw my tumblr page looks so much cuter on desktop#fanfic#billy hargrove#stranger things#x reader#billy hargrove fanfiction#billy hargrove fanfic#billy hargrove x reader#billy hargove smut#billy hargove imagine#stranger things fanfic#billy hargrove x y/n#x yn#dacre montgomery#i dont know why yn says billy’s name so much sorry i didn’t reedit or reread#smut#billy hargrove smut
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Astro pt. 4
credit: @venuscnjunctpluto
(I can’t even remember which part I’m on😅)
*I fw Aquarius mars and Venus women they do what they want to do and they’re very smart (ex: Victoria pedretti, brittany renner, Taylor swift, and IceSpice)
*Ik men w these aspects gets dragged but I do like that they’re usually not bigoted☺️
* Ice spice also has a sag Venus and she’s openly rapped about being Bi
*pink pantheress has to be a Virgo rising and (edit: Ice Spice confirmed she was one too)
*taurus Venus or mars are the h*rniest it’s ridiculous. Kanye has an extreme p*rn addiction to the point people have walked in the studio and he’s causally watching it. He has a Taurus Venus and Mars😭
*For couples, moon in the 1st and 7th house synastry is very common
*Male friends usually have sun-mars or mars-mars aspects
*The arguing that comes w moon square mars synastry is not worth the sexual tension. I have a cardinal moon so all of those mfs can stay away from me pls😭
*Leo + Libra in big three is such popular cheerleader energy. I think that’s one reason Meghan gets a lot of hate because she is attention seeking yet she hasn’t done anything to warrant all the hate. It’s like disliking somebody but not having a reason so you get even more mad bc you look dumb
*Taurus risings voices are so hot😭😭 (ex: Miley Cyrus, gigi hadid, Austin butler)
*Underdeveloped fixed sign men become incels. Leo and Aquarius placements have huge egos so they can’t understand rejection. Leos feel that they’re so sweet and kind how can you not like me. Aquarius placements feel like nobody’s as smart and different as them. I don’t even need to explain Taurus and Scorpio (lol I’m never gonna stop dragging them)
*I should’ve known I was an Aries rising considering how many Aries mars come after me. Asap rocky is a Aries mars and both his ex Kendall and rihanna have Aries risings and moons. Also Aries rising women have such “tall gf who shares her bfs clothes” vibes (ex: Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner + Asap and Rihanna)
*As an aqua sun Aries rising the combination I can’t resist is aqua Venus + Aries mars…Jack Harlow is included in that
*I think what drew Harry to Meghan is her cancer rising considering his mother Diana is a cancer sun. My brother in law’s mom was a Leo sun and my sister is a late cancer rising. A guy I talked to has a Taurus sun mom and I’m a late Aries rising. Having sun in the 1st w your partners parent might be a thing.
*Y’all see those memes where Beyoncé looks all majestic and calm while Jay z looks lost and confused. He’s a sag sun + Pisces rising and she’s a libra rising + Virgo sun.
*Jay z definitely has a type…I’m not about to get into the gross age gaps but both foxy brown and Beyoncé are Virgo suns w Scorpio moons, libra venuses, and a Leo placement…wow
*Dababy thinks he’s allll that whole time he has Venus conjunct Pluto. Attracting Scorpio women who were gonna lose their minds in a relationship any mf ways like sir bye. Danileigh has a Scorpio Venus btw
Streamers
*They call Duke Dennis the “king of rizz” yep well he has mars square Pluto. Once again that’s a sign of male magnetism
*Streamers have a lot of Plutonian energy it’s interesting…Adin Ross has a Scorpio Venus, DDG and Kai Cenat have Venus conjunct pluto while Speed has mars conjunct Pluto.
*Kai is also a Pisces mars which explains his sad puppy dog eyes 🥺
*Halle Bailey has Venus square pluto while DDG has a conjunction everybody was screaming for them to break up and whole time I’m just like 😅. Once again her vibe is alluring as a woman w this aspect while his is…anywho
*Adin Ross also have a Virgo mars which is such 🤓 energy
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notes for the absolutely bonkers time line of toxicity (that's reborn au au). note that nothing is actually set in stone because it's derivative of reborn au, which is also not set in stone
i realized i suggested tori deciding to get with obito after the cave incident, but also that in reborn au she's actually already dating itachi when that happens. so consider
tori has been dating itachi for a few months (more if you count when she was dating him unknowingly) (her life is... dumb?)
she gets trapped in a cave by Some Guy and minato bans her from seeking vengeance
in reborn au she gets itachi to go freak out That Guy and is satisfied, but in THIS au everyone is more toxic. she has "destroys village out of affection" on the table as normal human behavior. she wants blood. she deserves blood
tori: can you BELIEVE itachi won't kill a singular guy for me
obito: lmao tori is it really that big a deal? just kill him yourself
tori: but it was :(
tori: a cave :(
tori: where i doubted anyone at all would ever help me again :(
obito:
obito:
obito: okay FINE i'll kill him
tori breaks up with itachi specifically to seduce obito
it's an amicable break up. she doesn't tell itachi it's so she can run off with obito, but she's like "look i don't have any problem with helping you shirk your clan duties, but i still want to have my own dating life. lmk if you need something else but i won't be your fake gf" which is an entirely reasonable and mature argument for someone who is about to go after an unstable ex-missing-nin
obito is extremely confused when tori starts coming on to him (she is. not good or subtle at it) but ALSO he's kind of into it. he has a lot of weird feelings about tori but she's the one person who knows all his darkest secrets and he likes having her undivided attention. is she actually into him or is she trying to use him to murder more people? he doesn't care!
anyway i have been trying to figure out how no one intervenes in this or causes, like, some sort of permanent interpersonal fallout. and i remembered @waffliesinyoface and i joking around about toxicity just having its main cast destroy even MORE villages, and what if kushina wrecked suna's shit over gaara. so further consider
kushina goes to suna for some reason. idk maybe they host the chunin exams and they're like "send a representative..... not the hokage...... pls thnx." and she realizes how they're treating gaara and she loses her mind
kushina: SURPRISE I RUINED OUR ALLIANCE WITH AN UNTOLD AMOUNT OF MURDER!!!!
kushina: also i kidnapped the kazekage's son. he's ours now
kushina: he is deeply emotionally unstable and completely op and has murdered so many suna-nin
kushina: but i can fix him. with my love <3
minato: o-oh
i don't think i'll have kushina PERMANENTLY adopt gaara (he has older siblings he can go back to!) but he's definitely in konoha for a hot second. so minato's life is currently
bonus child who is both crazy powerful and also desires to kill
(kushina: (shoving shukaku back in with her bare hands) HE'S FINE)
like the number of people who can handle gaara is. very low. he keeps sending gaara and naruto over to the uchiha compound for "babysitting" (Naruto keeps whining he's too OLD) but it's literally a bunch of A-ranks bc someone's sharingan is on them the whole time. the ushiha massacre 1000% doesn't happen in this time line because people are like "the uchiha are the only ones preventing us from being sand-coffined"
tori just fucking broke the hiraishin, so now he has to worry about the possibility of ANYONE ELSE doing that and killing/ruining everyone/everything he's ever cared about
obito?? decides to date her????
anyway the apparent situation of "obito, a 25 year old, has decided to date a teenager, who he's know since he was in his twenties and she was 12" is like. look, it's bad. but also minato is so tired. everyone else is so tired. obito what if you just...... didn't? please?
tori: but i'm the ultra manipulative seductress villain???
also an anon sent this
Itadei fake dating arc.... No one would even really notice/care since obitori is going on at the same time would they
Deidara doesn't give a shit about the murderous suna child. He killed him before and he'll do it again, okay. However WHY IS OBITO IN HIS APARTMENT ALL THE TIME NOW???
deidara: get her back. GET HER BACK
itachi: ?? she had a very sound argument for our break up
deidara: YOU'RE JUST COVERING FOR BEING A BAD BOYFRIEND
deidara is convinced tori would be SO easy to re-seduce. she likes good food and getting people to commit crimes for, okay. deidara would have just murdered that guy smh
deidara is going to show itachi how it's done
itachi is pretty sure being gay won't stop his parents from trying to get him to marry someone with a working womb, but maybe it will slow them down? certainly deidara has a good shot at scaring away any perspective dates
itachi and deidara start "dating" and no one gives it a second thought because it's the least insane thing happening right now
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turns out whatever instinct in me makes me want to make tma aus is unstoppable and all consuming. so here's qsmp tma au focused on the brazillians:
cellbit- he HAS to be the archivist ok this man is so eye aligned it's not even funny. HOWEVER because qcellbit and fcell are the same person, Events happened to him before he became the Archivist, ala from the archives grian. local paranormal enthusiast finds dead half eaten bodies, gets arrested for it (he SWEARS he didn't eat those people), goes to prison for 10 years, goes nuts (becomes F!Cell), kills himself in the island, wakes up in his room and Felps tells him "bro you disappeared for 10 days are you ok" and he's just like. What.
Worth mentioning that he fucking speedruns the archives. also known as the qsmp. Cucurucho, who is kind of like elias but a bit less (I inagine the Host would be elias, wjoever they are), thinks "wooo new archivist I wonder how long it'll take them to find out abt the horrors" and then cellbit shows up 3 days later running on 2 hours of sleep and 20 mugs of coffee with a consipracy board connecting a bunch of statements and theorizing about entities
ALSO the web is around him like all the time. if you pay attention there's at least 2 spiders near him at all times, usually hidden because he squishes them when he sees them. he's tangled in the web of lies that is the plot I'm making for this au and his ass is NOT beating it
Felps- Stranger type of guy who doesn't even know and takes like. a year to realise something's up with him. don't worry abt it ok I don't know why he's stranger-y to me either. it's the vibes just trust me
Mike- ok so. I am Very unsure for pac and mike, PLUS I've not seen herobrine a lenda, which means I don't know all their backstory, BUT I'm thinking Lonely for Mike, so far? he kind of distances himself from everyone after richas dies with him, so far is the only person I've not seen much gay happenings happen to, tends to disappear to fuckall nowhere apparently, as one does. also the fact that, back in prison, he seemed to have the most difficulty connecting with others.
also, the Desolation hates him personally. he doesn't know why. his house has burnt down thrice. he gets burnt by the littlest things for no reason. he's banned from the kitchen. an avatar of the desolation tried to kill him once. he watched his own son die in front of him. this is based on nothing from qsmp or anything I've seen Mike do I just think it's funny
Pac- I can only think of Vast and Spiral for him tee bee eich. Leaning heavily towards the Vast because, you know. gestures to the giant hide and seek maps, and also O RAIO, even though I have 0 context for that. he just... he explores the world and made giant hole (yeah yeah holes are the buried but consider: it's big.). it's his "I can show you the world" vibes. again dude just trust me
note abt tazercraft: both of them are very, very touched by the Spiral. reason? Chume Labs
Forever- I'm thinking either the Buried (mostly the digging aspect- he's destroyed a whole mountain and dug up and entire desert), or the Hunt (his intense hunt for Phil's love, the insane grinding that could be seen as hunting for resources, the werewolf hc my beloved). Leaning more towards the Hunt bc dogboyyyyy
The plot I have in mind is very different from the tma plot, but I'm not sure of everything yet, so for now you get this little bpnus :)
[CLICK]
[Cellbit]
We've been back from the Adoption Center for about a day now. Not a timely update, but things happened, and, well.
We found... we found a weird... creature. It- he? Acts human, although he can't talk. He communicates with us through a little notebook, and overall acts incredibly childish. He sure looks like a child. One with- with some material akin to... to egg shells as skin. He has hair, despite apparently being all... eggy. It's black and curly, covers his face. He doesn't like it when we try to move it away from there, but we're working on a safe way to see what's under there.
He seems not to know where he came from, but I know he's lying. It's- there's no way he doesn't, not with what he said, I don't care if Pac and Mike or, hell, Felps believes him, He called us fucking- he called us dads! That's the first fucking thing he said! It has to be some kind of trap, some kind of spy, I don't know yet but when I find out I'm going to fucking-
Shit. That wasn't too professional. Alright, where were we.
We brought him to the Institute. Forever and I weren't thrilled about the idea, but it was 3 against 2. I can't believe Felps would- I get Pac and Mike, there's something wrong with them I'm sure of it, but Felps? I underestimated his braincells. What am I talking about, he doesn't have any.
(Soft chuckle)
We, we named him Richarlyson, he seemed to like it. We asked his name first, but all he did was draw a- (Snort) a stick figure shrugging.
The only clothes he has are a singular oversized Brazil shirt. The moços and Felps want to go buy him clothes.
I don't know how they'll justify the kid having, I don't know, pure white hard skin, but they said not to worry about it, so I guess I won't! I won't. I fucking won't.
... I'm gonna follow them tomorrow. Just to be safe.
That's all for today, I'm gonna go- I'm going to check some statements, see if there's anything even remotely related to this.
This is Cellbit, Head Archivist of the QSMP, which I still don't known what stands for by the way, signing off.
[CLICK]
#cellbit#forever player#forever#richarlyson#felps#tazercraft#pactw#mikethelink#brazil world domination#qsmp#hmmm I need a tag for this au#the quesadilla archives#<- idk if that's gonna be permanent but that's it for now#favela five
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one day i'll make a whole obnoxious powerpoint (with the checkerboard transition effects obvs) that's a thematic comparison/contrast-ion between jadzia dax and odo and what they mean but for now i'm thinking again about "children of time" and the way odo and dax were framed as like the only possible actors in a impossible-to-act situation. it was odo or dax, who would let the potential closed-loop lives of a colony of people be rendered materially forgotten. and the more i think about it the more convinced i am that, actually, dax wouldn't have ever chosen differently. it had to be odo.
they're refracted versions of the other---defined by a multiplicity, which they understand and handle in different ways. where dax (who has been accused of frivolity the whole season by her upright buddy worf) can't see beyond the agony of her own selfishness, odo just does. he does what he thinks he is obligated to do based on his own individually-mandated moral rectitude. he is solipsistic in the way all of the changelings are for they can be anything and are also all each other and that is certain. but he loves kira, who is similar but solipsistically fastened to the world, thru a faith in fate, so he can just...selfishly act in a way she couldn't. and tbh the morality of the selfishness is up for grabs, too, bc kira "selflessly" choosing to die is also a condemnation for everyone else so like. odo's lawful/strict-desire sure does help them out of jam. and dax isn't about to step on anyone even if perhaps there should be some stepping. she is "conviction-less." but.
in a way. the show argues, while not really making the argument, that: dax's mistake is sourced in its own obligations. what's the point of anything if you're not going to risk it for sweet victory-biscuit? to risk something to get the details on some (potentially smart) maybe-fungus? to take a magic-carpet ride? to extract the dino-dna from the amber? to be curious? is that not also a carefully considered rectitude? is that not a justice--that, if one has the power to witness what exists, however weird, however potentially useless, then they possess a simple fealty, sworn to lord universe, as vassals made up of sensory powers, to continue witnessing? like "this planet is here and is therefore interesting and i seek glory thru it yay" and now she is presented with lives upon lives who absolutely need her--who existentially need her perpetual attention. as her curiosity dooms, her own version of personal law chooses for her too: odo and kira are sure of their own minds. dax is sure of everything else outside herself (or within herself but within a worm--the boundaries are fuzzy) and swears to it, quite a lot.
so like. where odo and dax agree about the value of a proto-universe, they disagree here. odo is like: "thou shall not kill. it is written." so he can just. unwrite a reality that is utterly dependent upon those that are not children of time, but freely moving amongst it. citizens, for instance, of the real. he breaks nothing bc the kira-dying reality is what is broken to begin with. also he's like. super in love. and dax is like: "phenomena! there it is! things that exist! in my hands and my choices, phenomena! you can't make me be god about it :(" and then her future self which is still technically her tries to be god about it and then ultimately doesn't. so.
what's really funny about all this is later when odo is fully on board with kira just throwing herself off a cliff bc of "fate," dax is in the background with miles coming up with scientific eviction papers for super-dimensional aliens. odo just accepts a law in contradiction to his own (he is large!) and dax is like "what even do we have to do with this" and "i think living is a lot more attractive." bc. the point is. they are foils.
#ds9#jadzia dax#odo#i do love when otherwise strict characters just cut the gordian knot#like winn with the aforementioned “gods” and odo in this episode#like. enough star trek moralizing and hand-wringing. let's resolve this plot.
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do you think bruce is abusive? i don't mean in the physical way they've been writing his as recently but emotionally.
it's very clear that he does love his children but some abusers do genuinely love the people they hurt and just think they are in the right (thinking of my own dad who somehow couldn't understand why we didn't want to talk to him because he always took care of us but treated our mother. badly. and in front of us when we were little kids.)
and i'm not sure whether i count bruce in that because while it doesn't look like what i'm familiar with i thought i'd ask because only recently i've actually come across people who see him as abusive but do actually see the character as he is and love it and i was wondering what you thought
sorry if i'm dumping too much on you or it isn't something you want to answer, feel free to delete/ignore, i just think the answer is more interesting from people who genuinely love and understand bruce as a character as you seem to and i've only seen it from two other people so i wondered what you thought
i don't mind answering! this is one of those asks where i wish i tagged my stuff bc i've talked about it before but my outbox tag is so populated that it takes way too long to search through lol (and unfortunately as we all know tumblr's in-blog search function is broken beyond repair). but tldr i would say bruce as he's existed for the past thirty years or so is abusive. my divergence in opinion is simply that i don't think he ever should have been made so. his more modern characterization as someone reactive and prone to lashing out at others, particularly his children, has never made sense to me and i don't think it's heavily supported by pre-crisis canon. the extent of bruce's failings as a parent should reflect his inability to communicate and his growing tendency to be a shut-in. which i know some people take to be comparable to neglect but ig i don't think it should ever go that far.. like when i say inability to communicate i don't mean him failing to take care of his kids or giving them their due attention when he's raising them but moreso falling into a pit of despair and guilt once they've reached adulthood bc he feels like he's signed their death note by enabling their lives as vigilantes. i do think parentification can potentially come into it but ideally i would want it to be nipped in the bud sooner rather than later if that makes sense. like we should've been over bruce's depressive "i'm a terrible parent and everyone i love dies so i should just do everything on my own and slowly k*ll myself in the process" episode by the early 00s at latest. and it should've been acknowledged that a large part of what drove him into that depressive episode was jason's death, so realistically being given the time and space to process jason's death and its implications properly would have allowed for bruce to seek closure and move forward and be less.. whatever he is now. to me the successive whammies of identity crisis and war games and under the hood deliberately thwarted that
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Do you think Yuki truly loved both Kaname and zero , cause she was satisfied with zero's blood but with Kaname's blood her thirst wasn't entirely quenched ?
A Vampire Knight ask in MY inbox?? *Debby Ryan hair tuck* (Thank you I've literally been dying to talk about VK at any given moment)
So I think that Yuuki loved them both, yes. But if we're talking "True Love" I think it's a lot more nuanced than that. (I'm also going to ignore the FAMILIAL dynamics in this rant bc we already know)
Let's talk about Yuuki's relationship with Kaname:
Kaname saving Yuuki from a "bad vampire" is her first human memory. He visits on occasion and is nothing but kind, caring, if not distant towards Yuuki. Yuuki finds herself seeking out his attention and looking forward to seeing him as it's a rare treat. She has only ever known since she was small that he will a) protect her , b) be kind to her, and c) he's "not like other vampires" because he is her savior. The only identifier of his vampirism she has as a child is his fangs, other than that seemingly nothing else about him is like a vampire.
In middle school, she accidentally sees Kaname feeding on Ruka and this challenges her opinion of him "not being like other vampires". She's introduced to the reality that a) Kaname is a vampire, and b) that she does not truly know him. Much like realizing that though our parents may have raised us, though we have known people all our juvenile lives, it doesn't mean we know everything about them and the intricacies of their character; That they are people, and not the objects of affection that we have placed on a pedestal.
After this realization, Yuuki puts distance between herself and Kaname, using "-sama" and treating him differently due to her anxieties around vampirism and her glorification of his saving her (in her mind, the only thing that separates him from not being the vampire that wishes to feed on her and cause her harm, the "bad vampire").
I feel as though much of Yuuki's feelings towards Kaname at the start of her time at Cross Academy are romanticized anxiety (she has feelings of anxiety and is uncomfortable around him, but those feelings are easily mistaken for feelings of "butterflies", excitement, or attraction). She has conflict within herself: being afraid of Kaname as a vampire, not knowing his true intentions and character, as opposed to her experience of being saved and his kindness towards her. And throughout the series of events at Cross Academy, because Kaname withholds the truth from her, lies to her, and consistently gaslights her, all she has keeping her afloat is faith that he has good intentions. That's not a true or healthy relationship because there is no trust or communication between them.
It isn't until after Yuuki is turned that truth is finally being obtained and Kaname comes clean about his actions for the past 10 years. They are able to build some intimacy between them. He finally shares his vulnerable past with her, as he views this as a chance for her to unconditionally accept him. However, Yuuki remains in conflict, because he has withheld the truth for so long, and she feels personally responsible for his suffering. When she suggests they start over as equals in the relationship, Kaname takes this as her ultimate rejection of him (though they have both consistently tried to bear one another's burdens).
Kaname then sets the stage for his self sabotage and plot to indiscriminately kill all purebloods and to do so he feels he must estrange Yuuki (and Adiou) from him in order to do so uninhibited.
Kaname betrays them (or appears to, even though I feel that's almost worst) and later Yuuki confronts him that she will never abandon him. Which I find to be one of the good examples of Yuuki's love. She will love him despite that which he has done, but she still believes in stopping his destruction and holding him accountable for what he's done.
Ultimately, Kaname tells her that when they were together she couldn't smile from her heart (the motif for true love), but she was the light of his life. He then sacrifices himself for the greater good (which conveniently absolves him of everything he did prior) and he remains a monolith looming over Yuuki's life.
I think Yuuki had great love for him but do I think it qualifies as "true love"? If things had been different, I think they could have had a successful relationship, but ultimately I find them deeply incompatible. Kaname is too depressed and has 10,000 years of firmly rooted self hatred to be capable of having a relationship, and Yuuki will never truly understand him and what he went through, and has immense guilt over it. Did they have love for each other? Absolutely. Did they have trust, open communication, and all that entails with a healthy relationship? Absolutely not. I don't think that either of them could provide the other with what they needed.
Let's talk about Yuuki's relationship with Zero:
Their relationship starts as Yuuki seeing Zero suffering and she decides to be his caretaker, soothing him and stopping his self harm. She recognizes his fear and pain and can sympathize with it. They build a friendship in which they are around each other constantly, and feel comfortable to tease one another, tutor and take notes for the other, and talk about serious topics. They have a friendship. (Which I feel like Kaname and Yuuki never had)
Zero is then revealed to be a vampire to Yuuki in the most literal way, a vampire who drinks her blood. Yuuki again has her reality shattered, but takes the blame for not noticing. She catches Zero trying to unalive himself and she takes responsibility for his life upon herself. And it isn't until later, she learns that Zero will inevitably become a Level E and be ended, that she thinks of the only possible solution: to sacrifice herself to prolong his life. For me this is the ultimate example of her love, that she would put her life on the line for his (especially with her fear and anxiety about vampires).
Yuuki then tries to make their "unforgiveable, forbidden acts" as pedestrian as possible, to put Zero at ease. Zero acknowledges her suffering and takes full responsibility for it. He opens up about his past to her, and she inserts herself into the Shizuka drama to try and save him again. Zero asks her "What am I to you?" because he has always known of her feelings for Kaname, and is confused why Yuuki would sacrifice herself time and time again if she didn't have love for him. When Yuuki tries to answer this for herself, she thinks about how she doesn't want him to disappear, she wants him to smile, and how she should be afraid of Zero but she can't look away.
Zero always encourages her not to pretend or hide her feelings, which is when she asks him if she would be stronger if she was a vampire because she's been feeling insecure about her lack of identity. She's afraid that expressing this fear to Zero has hurt him, and so she WILLS HERSELF TO REMEMBER HER PAST WHICH STARTS UNRAVELLING JURI'S SPELL ON HER.
In this period, Zero does nothing but support her and offer her solutions to find the truth about her past. He tells her that his life is hers, and that she is his priority and she can burden him with her thoughts and feelings, and she has every right to do so. He helps her confront Kaname on multiple occasions.
When Zero comes to check on Yuuki in one of her hallucinations, she admits that being Zero's caretaker was her own selfish way of giving herself identity, to help her compensate for having no memories and no family.
When Yuuki is turned, Zero is blinded by his hatred. They kill Rido together but Zero is in conflict with her. He confesses his feelings, and doesn't expect her to reciprocate, and asks if her worries are gone now that the has her memories. He then promises to kill her then next time he sees her. (Spoiler alert, he doesn't) Yuuki sobs as she doesn't want to be his enemy, realizes his feelings for her, and decides to lock away her feelings about him.
Every interaction they have after that, is stumbling, and awkward. She's admitted to Kaname that her thirst cannot be quenched by him alone, that she desires Zero as well.
When she reinstates the nightclass, she still worries about him but their relationship is different, and expresses a desire that things go back to the way they were between them. They say things like "treasure yourself more" to each other, Zero still shows he cares and his intentions are not to kill her, but he's struggling with his hatred. Then Zero finds out that Kaname has puppeteered him all along, and they team up against Kaname's murder spree.
Then we have the masquerade where they pretend not to know each other, and they share a kiss. Yuuki speculates that if they were both human, that would have been the normal course of action for them. Then she takes his memory because she plans to give up her life for Kaname to be human, and she can't bear the thought of Zero thirsting for her/grieving her. Kaname admits to her that Zero's love for her wasn't orchestrated by him (which both Zero and Yuuki were uncertain about). Zero remembers like two days later, and decides to accept her for who she is, to fight WITH Kaname against the vampire hoards because he loves Yuuki more than he hates Kaname.
After Kaname dies, Zero tells Yuuki that he'll always be there for her and to take her time. He is a surrogate father to Ai, and bloodshares with Yuuki, he is EXTREMELY patient with her and her anxieties around loving after Kaname, and their relationship overall is communicative, loving, and healthy. And Zero makes her smile from the bottom of her heart.
I think that they make mistakes with each other, they've had their pit falls but overcome them, they have an understanding of one another and they ultimately love and accept one another. I think that she was able to experience true, unconditional, romantic love with Zero. Her thirst may not have been quenched fully, but Zero gave a lot more than he took in the end (honesty, communication, reciprocation, etc) .
And she still had love for Kaname after he was gone. It was a love that colored her life. Even Zero acknowledges that the way Yuuki cares for him, was learned from Kaname. It's simultaneously sad and unfair, and beautiful and romantic. We are made up of our experiences, and love in toxic relationships isn't a fault, but toxic behaviour is.
Well anyway, that's my big long rant on that.
#LONG POST#vampire knight#yuuki kuran#yuuki#yuuki cross#yuki kuran#yuki cross#zero kiryu#zero kiryuu#kaname#kaname kuran#zero#i like seeing all sides#and i'm not here for a shipping war#zeki#everyone is valid in liking the character they like and shipping the ship they ship
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complaining once bc gotta say its actually lead to a good outcome but - definitely saying goodbye to twt, it’s literally new year’s day and I’ve seen some shit already so seems like the perfect time to start fresh lmao
I just have.. no interest in that environment atm, and maybe it’s bad on here in the fandom? (I don’t really see it bc I’ve curated my dash well, and I don’t always check the tag) but it’s still not like twt I promise you. sttwt already died like a month ago and some shitty people left which was great, but now others are doing a whole “we need to leave byler in 2023” attitude and any positive tweet minding its own business casually tweeting about byler is getting like 80 quote tweets of hate etc and nah, noooot for me. it’s NYE for so many of you like jfc way to show you’re just an awful human 365 days a year?? not to mention the constant attention seeking mentions of someone they don’t like when nothing’s even fucking happening hnfjsks so unnecessary. I mean the older ST teens side of the fandom chugs along bc their lucky asses are unaffected but there wasn’t really a large batch of “party” associated accs it was mainly byler, which is what I was enjoying, so.
they’re all miserable, boring ass baby’s first fandom mindset and it got stale so quick bc they restricted themselves so much aghdndjds. I had some screenshots from over the last few weeks I was gonna share and I still might at some point bc I just wanted anyone else to see the nonsense, but I don’t think I’ll be going back there for now I want to be in a good mood 🙏🏽
anyway I’m bringing the last of my bags inside here I’m moved in cheers to that 🥂
#ev speaks#moving here again best thing I did in 2023#I miss the ease of twt functionally but I’ve learnt how to keep up with people here now so it’s fine#good luck to the rest of the twt bylers but every adult byler I know is Outta There!! and we are happy#I know I’ve said I’m done there a few times now but okay okay now I am Done 👏🏽💀
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what’s your damage about “gifted kids”?? i mean, i was a nightmare in class but i don’t see any reason to have issues with them
please read this im begging you. i put off breakfast for an hour writing this bc i really care about it
i even capitalized stuff and did punctuation to make it easier to read.
The biggest thing that bothers me is that there is so much content for and about ppl who are “gifted kid burnouts”. It’s literally everywhere on every website, there are thousands of posts and everyone on this site reblogs them. It’s inescapable. And because this subset of people gets so much attention, anyone who didn’t have the “gifted” experience who also wants to talk about their struggles in school gets. Basically ignored.
(Sorry this is long I just wanna explain it as well as I can) On tumblr the “gifted kid problems” thing is extremely popular bc this is the ppl-who-read-books-instead-of-talking-to-people website. Which is totally fine, and I wouldn’t mind it if it didn’t feel like I was the only person out of millions who wasn’t gifted. If someone makes a post about being a burnt out gifted kid it gets thousands of notes. If I make a post about how being the “stupid kid” my whole life fucked me up, it gets three likes from my mutuals and then dies and is never seen again.
I think it also has a lot to do with the idea that overworking yourself, and getting straight As (even if you’re not actually learning anything!), is highly praised in Society. Because schools need good test scores if they want to keep getting money. Bad test scores, while literally being part of the learning process because we learn from mistakes, don’t bring in the funds. So the “dumb” kids get treated like shit, and teachers have to teach kids how to pass tests, instead of actually getting the material into their brains in a meaningful way. If you skip meals and don’t sleep to cram for tests, you’re considered a better student than someone who prioritizes their mental and physical wellbeing.
So you get the culture of kids who brag about sleeping three hours every night and having an iced coffee as their meal for the day, and the less you take care of yourself the more cool and relatable you are. Which I don’t really blame them for. When the school system is this fucked up and you’re struggling this much, of course you want to tell people how much it’s hurting you. I think a lot of people just want someone to tell them that’s not okay, and they shouldn’t have to neglect themselves so much. But unfortunately, it’s usually impossible to graduate college without overworking yourself to the point of exhaustion and illness. So it continues.
I think it’s good that people are posting and sharing their experiences and trying to unlearn the bad habits and mentality. But unfortunately a lot of the “gifted kid” people still think or at least act like they’re the only ones who struggled in school. Because they worked the hardest, they deserve more attention. (I also think being constantly praised by teachers as a child and being the favorite plays a part in the attention seeking behavior).
So anyone who physically couldn’t overwork themselves to the point of earning the “gifted” label, because of disabilities or any other reason (don’t even get me started on the expectation that all autistic people are great at school (((non-gifted non-savant autistic kids are treated like worthless failures their whole lives)))), those people don’t deserve to have the whole internet feel bad for them. You couldn’t see them working themselves to exhaustion studying or doing homework, because their everyday lives were already exhausting, and they literally couldn’t spend any more energy on school.
So, if someone makes a post about how hard it is to do any schoolwork at all, and how their school experience was torture because the classes weren’t made to actually teach them and they weren’t good at test taking, you ignore it, because you “worked harder” and still struggled just as much. Or you comment and say “Oh same but I got all A’s and can write an essay in 5 minutes without even trying and I can read books at the speed of light” or “Oh and did you know how many gifted kids are autistic and adhd. I’m autistic and adhd and it made me so good at school” because you’re so used to having everything cater to you.
My goal isn’t to minimize burnt out gifted kids issues and trauma, it’s to get people to understand that they aren’t the only ones that deserve pity and sympathy. School fucked everyone up in different ways and it sucks no matter how good your grades were.
So no I don’t hate gifted kids themselves just for being gifted (although I will admit I absolutely have a grudge of burning jealousy bc I wish society liked me as much as them, which is where my urge to insult them comes from), I hate the way they act, on social media and in real life. You can post about your struggles and that’s totally fine, but if someone makes a post about how hard school was for them because they weren’t good at it, instead of commenting that your experience was different, or literally just ignoring it, maybe reblog it. Because school sucked and you both had it hard. Maybe even leave some sympathetic or understanding tags (without making it about you) if you’re feeling it.
but if they go on here and make fun of ppl who arent good at school or any academic skills and call them stupid then i hate them and im hitting them with my car
#ok im gonna go eat breakfast now#thanks for coming to my presentation#i say things#i want you people to see this#asks#anon#no reblogs anymore i dont want to fight with people online
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people can take and twist arguments about how being non-LGBT-affirming causing suffering is OK bc christian life is about taking up your cross and denying yourself and blah blah blah, and it can become a bit of a dead-end arguing with people who while looking do not see and while hearing do not listen, but to take it a bit further, i think that like,
ok, we can admit the importance of carrying your cross. nobody is an absolutist on this issue; nobody (reasonable) thinks that we should avoid activism and fighting for a noble cause and protecting others just because we ourselves might suffer in the process, we can all agree noble sacrifices to protect others' lives are good. on the other hand, nobody (reasonable) thinks self-harm is inherently good because its noble endurance of suffering.
but that's thinking about it from a personal perspective, where *I* need to accept my suffering to glorify God. what about in terms of a 'how do we treat others?' perspective? The NT places extensive emphasis on the importance of living by the Spirit, of becoming more like God in our love and care for one another, and of developing the fruits of the Spirit against which there is no law. So it seems to me that God is invested in people developing morality through deepening in virtue and attentiveness to others' struggles and suffering, *not* in people's ability to exegete texts.
Texts inform our understanding of what's right for sure (1 Timothy iirc says scripture provides 'training in righteousness'), but God is looking for ability to love others and will their good. God wants us to develop our instincts for doing to others as we would have them do to us, our instincts for being sensitive to others' suffering and for loving others even when we can rationalise it away like the men in the Good Samaritan story who let their own countryman die.
Now with this in mind, the way I see it is - if homosexuality is wrong, then God has set up a situation where he actively wants to damage our moral intuitions. The God who normally wants us to defend the needy and the oppressed, to live by the Golden Rule, to seek love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control, the God who is Love, which we know to be patient and kind, that does not envy or boast or dishonour others or seek its own good, that always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres - that guy has decided, actually, just this once, you guys need to be willing to do to others what you wouldn't have them to do to you, and accept people's pain and suffering, and in fact dismiss it either as LGBT people just fishing for sympathy points or a sad inevitable fact of life. Job's comforters are no longer heretics who spoke wrongly of God, but role models.
Now to be honest, that actually seems crueller than the idea God makes some people gay and then condemns them to lifelong celibacy. It's almost as if God has set some kind of sinister trap to catch people out in their sinful urges of sympathy for others and kindness and compassion. Does it make sense for God, in seeking to sanctify and make us loving and good and holy, to set up a situation where the right choice is to endorse other people's suffering and alienation from God out of fidelity to specific rules? Does it make sense that the one who, when asked the greatest commandment, offered two instead - to love God and to love your neighbour - would now insist actually, loving God means not loving your neighbour in this case?
You can disagree with this, of course. Lots of people would be perfectly fine with the idea that God is deliberately giving us a painful dilemma to show that in the end, no matter what, we obey God even if it means hurting others - appealing to Abraham's sacrifice of Isaac, perhaps, although we forget then that the centrepoint of that story is discovering that God, unlike idols and demons, never truly wanted that of anyone in the first place.
Or perhaps it's not God's fault, but it's just that of the Devil and dealing with moral dilemmas is part of a fallen world. I can see some logic here; we don't want to reduce all our moral problems to 'if one thing is bad, the other must automatically be good.' But at the end of the day it seems a ghastly vision of what God wants for us.
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Narcissist attention seeking
Your toxic parents, friends, lovers, bosses etc.
With my own narcissistic parent I noticed that the way she seems to seek attention and validation is from me being affected by all the things she does.
Starting arguments, causing problems, making my life harder and doing all the things she knows I hate. It's her way of getting my attention, validating herself, and getting the last laugh/1 up on me. It's so weird how they act sometimes..but I realized this is their game, and for those of us who aren't narcissist or may be healing ourselves, our minds don't work like theirs.
So it's easy to miss the signs and fall right into their traps which they desperately want you to engage in. You have to be smart and know when they are plotting against you and whatever it is they want to gain from you. Narcissist feel validated when they successfully piss you off, bother you or make you uncomfortable.
A narcissist has no limits to what they do bc their logic is flawed, they aren't logical, fair, moral, mutual etc. So if they have to go to extreme lengths to piss you off or get a reaction they will, and it's the shock of it all to their victims that gets them going even more.
They expect you to not be able to predict their next move to basically be caught off guard by their behavior and they WILL do exactly what you think they won't do. Bc this is how they successfully get your/others attention on them, it's guaranteed to work.
The important part here is that you want to humble the narcissist by not validating them and any of their antics.
It's either they trick you and you feel shitty for falling for it or you protect yourself and mirror their behavior back to them, but in a way that you aren't involved or engaging with them.
In other words, you won't be really doing anything besides ignoring, grey rocking and living your life as you would regardless of what they try to do, or what reactions they try to pull out of you.
It's important to humble them bc this is what gets them closer and closer to becoming self aware and possibly healing themselves, which would require lots of inner work that they strongly avoid with every single interaction, abuse, attention seeking they do.
Narcissist especially the emotionally unstable ones, are often extremely moody, childish, unable to react in healthy ways and this is why they seek out to trigger the emotions in other people to feel a sense of stability. It's how they basically emotionally regulate by using other people's emotions in a way. This also means that if they don't have a solid foundation for their emotions, they tend to be unempathetic, cold, they are emotionally handicapped if that's the right word.
This is not to shame them but more so to just explain what's going on with them.
They don't have the tools to understand their own emotions or that of others, and sometimes they may think they do understand but it's always temporary/shaky.
And there's many other conditions in my opinion that are not narcissm that can experience this same feeling, like body dismorphia for example, they aren't able to see themselves as they are, it's always a dramaticized hellish version of themselves bc they aren't able to see themselves in a healthy way.
And to end this observation of mine, that shows you just how bad they have it. I hope this helped someone anyway. It most definitely helped me to organize my own thoughts as an overthinking introvert, writing helps a lot. Thank you for reading 💕
✨Nine of Pentacles✨
#narcissist#narcissism#narcissticabuseawareness#narcissistic parents#narcissists#narcissistic abuse#narcissistic personality disorder#narcissistic mother
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[I'll preface this by saying that it's very late, I'm very tired and of scrambled brain, and so there's definitely ideas I'm either missing or didn't properly connect/explain]
I'm having thoughts about The Quarry and... after watching JSE's playthrough, some miscellaneous alt path videos, and a video about all of the options in Abi and Nick's moment in the woods... I feel like Nick is a really subtle, underappreciated character, and I wish we coulda seen more of him
I like him for a similar reason I like Emma (who I love tbh). It's the way they both subvert unpleasant archetypes that always seem to get punished in these sorts of stories.
Nick has a very subtle and passive personality, I think. He isn't very in touch with himself, his emotions and thoughts, and when the option is presented, always prefers to just "go with the flow." I like the exchange about Jacob influencing Nick, with Abi implying they can kind of amplify each other's douchebag energies, and Nick comments on how "girls like Jacob." I dunno, I feel like Nick wants to be seen and accepted, but he doesn't have the emotional intelligence to realize this, and just lets himself get swept up in Jacob, who is like, sort of an idealized version of maybe the person Nick wants to be.
I've seen stuff talking about how the werewolf transformation brings out intense parts of a person's personality. A lot of people hate Nick for how he treated Abi as he was transforming. And while I agree that he was being a shit person, I also just like. Feel for him? Like he's so goddamn repressed that when he gets pushed towards expressing his negative feelings, they burst out of him and immediately make him feel guilty.
I think he's just an interesting take in the soft sensitive + cool jock guy. It makes him become someone who is genuinely good on the inside (as seen when he helps that camper and is kind about it, or seeks Abi out when he thinks no one is watching to see her art)(but that also makes him kinda shitty bc like, what, do you care that much about what other people think? maybe he just didn't want any outside attention to be put on their relationship bc he's shy enough as it is), but he sucks because he's got no real sense of self, just letting himself get pulled along for reasons he doesn't understand. But because everything is repressed, he also holds a lot of ugly, awful shit, as well as a lot of guilt, which. Idk it's sad that a true facet of him is only able to be expressed as he's being corrupted by a curse.
Also I brought up Emma earlier bc like, on the surface she's an egotistical mean girl? Which like, she sorta is, but she's also got so much more depth outside of that. I'll maybe make a separate post about her sometime bc I really do love her, she's one of my fav characters
But yeah I just had to get these thoughts out. The Quarry kinda sucks but it's also really neat, and I think Nick is a neat character :) definitely needs to get his shit together and actually grow into himself tho. He deserves more than being one of those people who slides into the sidekick/lackey role for someone who boldly embodies the things they want for themself
I will continue to gently rotate him in my mind
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hi i commented on the art of hanging by your toes like a fruit bat by this same user and just wanted to say that i hope you're healthy and happy right now :) read some of your recent fics and i'd probably fill this message with memories scraped from my marrow so all i want to say is that you somehow grow with each line; your writing is just so beautifully haunting. that said i am obsessed with the way you capture the fleeting, withering years of one's youth. what it is to grow into a body, a body, not a soul. augh you are a gem thank you for being here
hii omggg i remember you if only because you wrote me something so personal it felt like a conversation over coffee. somewhere in the fourth dimension, a few quasi meters apart. it’s so sweet of you to reach out again <33
idk about happy tbh but im buoyant and will wait out this flood until it dries as all things do. saying i grow with each line is just… thank you. i love you so much for this. bc i do crumble and every poem/essay i read is a revolution and i do like to think not one word leaves me quite the same after reading it. i always write in an attempt to dip into that which makes me human, and in hopes that it’d pulverize me under its weight. at first it was a means of escape bc at the time i thought no one was sadder than me, no one could possibly be feeling heavier than this, it felt like i was a breath away from turning into a black hole. but you grow a little older and realize the real blackhole is life, and no one escapes it. to quote glück whose poetry i’ve been revisiting for the past days,
“It is true there is not enough beauty in the world.
It is also true that I am not competent to restore it.
Neither is there candor, and here I may be of some use."
so, as of late, i try to write bc i want to be open and i want to be more than my hurt and more than the years i’ve lived. bc i’m in love and i seek more love in all things and from all people. and obviously love isn’t salvation nor is it enough to carry us through the infinite ruin that is this life (at least to me who’s grown out of her rose-colored glasses) but on some days it feels like it is, and in my writing and in my characters i definitely make sure it is, somehow, between the lines. the small moments. w.h auden, who’s one of my fav poets, says,
“There is no such thing as the State
And no one exists alone;
Hunger allows no choice
To the citizen or the police;
We must love one another or die.”
i didn’t mean to ramble so much i’m sorryyy but you give off the feeling that you’d listen attentively and that you care. you’re so kind, stranger. i hope you know that, and i hope you’re doing well and that you’re warm and happy and loved. thank you so much for this. pls feel free to message me if you ever wanna chat about this or that, or have a stray thought you think i might enjoy chewing on too. in my mind we’re friends already :)
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