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anadiasmount · 9 months

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tainted memories - jude bellingham.

wow wow okay hi!! sorry for the break i took. i began uni again after my holiday so i haven’t been as active on here. but i received this request for jude, and decided to try it out. please leave some feedback as us writers appreciate it a lot 🤍🧟‍♀️

summary: breaking up wasn’t apart of the plan. so was also inviting him to your friends party, but now that he’s back after seven months, a little rekindle never hurts anyone, right?

angst? smut and fluff. minors dni! 🔞

wc: 3.6k

“need any help?” you turned slowly to be faced with those soft brown eyes. his plump lips drew in as he peeked his head through the door. you shook your head and got back to washing the dishes. “you going to continue ignoring me?” he said causing you to begin breathing quicker than before, after feeling his presence come behind you.

you were in charge of one of your girlfriends all -white all-white-themed surprise party, in honor of her birthday. this meant you’d see jude after breaking up over 7 months ago, since your friends were friends with his. while seeing familiar faces made you happy, you couldn't help but feel sad all over again. jude and you ended on good terms, so he thought, after he stressed he wanted to focus on his last months at dortmund and start with his new team in madrid.

you didn’t want to split, rather try and make your relationship work and get through the obstacles you were bound to face together. you physically and mentally weren't prepared to let him go, he was your person, the person who never failed to make you feel like the luckiest girl. you were his, but instead, you let him go, and respected what he asked.

you began a new cycle all over again, from having that hard shell that protected you to being his girlfriend, then back to being that old person you were building your walls up again. people came and went in your life, its what you were used to, and you thought with jude it was different… he made you feel different, in many positive aspects, always supportive, loving, caring, and soft with you.

maybe you pushed him away? maybe you gave him a reason to leave? maybe you weren’t enough for him?

jude being jude still tried to keep contact, he would text, sometimes call, but you knew deep inside you wouldnt be able to move on if he was still present. it hurt because he wasn’t yours anymore, you still loved him, after months being apart, he still brought that spark inside you to burst. it was his effect burned inside you.

the familiar perfume and scent blinded your senses, when you felt two arms trap you from behind, two hands on the edge of the counter. “you haven’t said a single word to me y/n…” you shuddered as he whispered in your ear, his nose tracing your jaw down to the nape of your neck. “say something, please…” the pleading in his voice broke your heart. you dried your hands and turned around.

his face centimeters apart from yours, where you could see his brows fluttering in and eyes darker than usual. “excuse me,” you tried to move out of the way but he refused, “no. did i say or do something? you don’t answer my calls? my messages? tell me why.” you opened your mouth to speak but instead you shook your head again, attempting to move out the way, you still had the responsibility of the party, that was your priority right now.

“y/n-”

“no. you don’t get to do that. you said you wanted your space, and i’m respecting that. i don’t have to give you reasons as to why i’m not speaking with you, jude. what we had was said and done, you wanted to focus on yourself and that's great- “

“y/n? are you done with the dishes were waiting on you to surprise emmy,” one of your friends said, becoming slightly awkward at the room with your ex. she sensed the high tension so she quickly went back outside. jude’s hand wrapped around your wrist, your attention back on him, “we're talking later. we ended on good terms and i plan for them to remain that way,” jude insisted, to which you only nodded your head.

he was confused. for once in his life he was confused that you were such a stranger around him. the girl that stayed up with him while he reminisced and spoke of his early days at birmingham, the one and only girl his mum loved and adored, his girl who made his favorite dish after a bad game, the girl who smiled only around him, the only girl who never failed to bring and feel butterflies in him, the one girl who defended him always, and that girl who made him into a bigger and better person. that girl, his girl, wasn’t there anymore.

maybe he lost you for good? maybe you didn’t love him anymore? maybe you were seeing someone? no, you were his, only his.

the night was successful, the surprise went to plan, and everyone was having a good time. although you were still stuck from earlier, trying to do anything to distract your thoughts from him, whether it was picking up cups, heating up food, talking with your girls especially, and drink the special cocktail you loved dearly. your eyes trailed over to him again, where you locked eye contact for the hundredth time that night. he looked good, way too good, twenty was treating him right.

“you and jude keep ogling? something going on?” you friend asked, catching onto the lingering glances. she took a sip of her red cup, “nothing really. he wants to talk but i don't know if i’m ready for that. i knew he would be coming, but i wasn’t prepared to see him like that. what if he tells me he found someone else? or that-” you panic rubbing your forehead with your palm.

“first breathe, i’m here with you. as much as it may hurt or feel slightly uncomfortable, it's the closure you may need to move on. but what if he wants to talk with you to rekindle again? do you think you would be open to that? and if he says he’s someone else, show him what he will miss on. you're beautiful y/n, and he was lucky to have you once in his life, just don’t let him bring you down again…”

she was right. if he did move on, that wasn’t your place to meddle, you’d have to let him go and be happy for him. but if he did want to consider getting back together, why now? why now when he’s living his best life in madrid? why now after saying he wanted to focus on himself? why now when you’re trying to avoid those soft brown eyes who once brought happiness to you, still do…

“just think about it yeah? right now lets dance, distract yourself from him and the world,” she yelled as soon as krazy by pitbul begin to play. you laughed and danced with your girls, letting loose and for once not caring for what anyone said or did. you threw back two shots, knowing they weren’t going to do anything as you weren't a lightweight.

as the night came to an end, mostly everyone had left, besides him. you said your goodbyes to your friends, offering them leftovers of food and cake, making sure to wish them a be careful, and promising to hang out soon. you sighed tiredly closing the front door, looking over at the big couch that drew you in to sit down on. jude appears, but all you do is stare at your hands, tracing the small tattoos you have to get rid of the anxiety beginning to build up.

“i want to apologize, you were right. i did say i wanted to focus on myself but i was stupid thinking it would’ve still meant us talking like we always did. part of me never wanted to let go of you, and still doesn’t. i thought that i was doing the right thing but in the end i learned the hard way that not only was i hurting myself but you along…” jude says, watching as your head slowly lifts up, your cheeks burning red.

“while it was hard on me, my mind always traced back to you. how your eyes filled with confusion and tears when i broke up with you. i get why you didn’t want anything to do with me, but believe me it was harder to not hear or see you on the daily. please don’t blame yourself for one bit, or think you aren’t enough because you’re more than perfect than what i could’ve asked for…”

“i needed to get away from you, but it's hard doing that when your ex-boyfriend is the talk of the town,” you joke hearing him let out a small chuckle. “i wanted to so badly respond to hear your voice, how you were doing, talk about our silly work problems but i knew if that i continued to hold onto the hope one day you’d come back, it would hurt more than loving you every day,” you said.

“i was confused yeah, but i needed to think on the brighter side that you were doing this for yourself and not for any other reason. I just wanted the best for you and i thought that distancing myself was the best idea… i still love you so much jude, and this, us, hurts. i’m not yours, and i can’t call you mine anymore, i can’t hold or kiss you, love you like i did…” you continued.

“when i heard you weren’t doing okay after three months i almost caved in, but i thought you would’ve hated me or worse just not care. and to not have you like i once did was taking a toll on me. my mom was concerned as to why we broke up, but i couldn’t tell her the truth. i hurt you and im so sorry baby…” jude cried out, grabbing your hands and kissing over your knuckles.

“I want and need you back… i still love you more than ever, and if you let me i can prove to you im now a better and mature man…” he pauses and breathes in, “leaving you was the scariest thing i’ve encountered, not having you by my side taught me i can't live or sleep without you there…”

“and if you say all of this to just leave me again? or you regret your decision to get back with me?” you can’t help but ask, letting a few tears out. what if it got too much for him? you wouldn’t be able to live with another heartache caused by him again. you need to hear him say he’s in it for the long run, not one where he can just up and go whenever he pleases.

“i can assure you right here, right now, that you’re it for me. you’re my future wife, the mother to my kids, the only person i want to grow old with. the only girl who’ll support me at the end of the day no matter what. the only woman who i will forever love and cherish…” you giggle and choke on a sob, feeling jude’s thumb wipe away the tears.

“don’t leave me… that all i ask. but i need you too jude. all i ask is for you to communicate with me, for us to give each other the assurance we need to move forward, that at the end of the day you’re the only one i come back to, to watch spy kids over and over again,” you say making him chuckle, watching as he let out some tears. You wiped them away, brushing your thumb over his soft cheek, his eyes closing at the feeling. “So were really doing this?” you ask. “yes we are really doing this…” jude says leaning and scooting closer to you.

you leaned in, his eyes slowly fluttering closed, was this real? the touch of his lips connecting with yours confirmed it. the way his larger hand cupped your cheek and pulled closer, completely taking your breath away. you whimpered softly as his tongue entered your mouth, him groaning at the smallest sound you made. you brought your hands and cupped his upper shoulders before bringing your smaller palm on his cheek.

jude pulled you onto his lap where you felt the big prominent bulge, leaning forward and grabbing your torso to hold you in place. his lips quickly connected back with yours, tilting his head to the side a bit as he pulled you closer, chest to chest. “jude…” you let out quietly, the tension all becoming too much, too hot…

“yes? fuck- d-do you wanna stop?” he whispered faintly on your lips, to which you shook your head no. you leaned back slightly, your hands going back to unzip the white dress you were wearing, jude’s eyes roaming from your swollen lips down to your chest where your white lace bra covered what he wanted to see. “are you sure? i don’t want you to regret this y/n…”

“i’m more than sure that i want this… i need you, jude. just like you just said…” he groaned and pulled you back towards him, where he kissed your lips like a hungry starved man. peppering kisses from your jaw, down to your neck, and that exact spot he manages to find that makes you go crazy. he bites down gently then sucks the skin where he marked you, kissing softly over it. “i need you too. need you so bad my cock’s aching to feel you again…”

he lays you down onto the plushy soft couch, grabbing a pillow and laying underneath your head. jude quickly removes the dress but leaves you with your white undergarments, his hands dragging your sides, observing your body like it would be his last time seeing it. you begin to cover yourself but he stops you, grabbing your hands with one of his and trapping them above you head.

he kisses you softly on your lips, then your forehead in reassurance, “don’t cover up baby. you’re so beautiful and all mine, yeah?” you nodded leaning up to kiss him again. he lets go of your hands, watching as you sit up again, overlooking at your fingers fidgeting with the button on his top. he lets you do it, your warm palms connecting with now his bare chest, running your thumb over his nipple, looking up shyly to see jude bitting his bottom lip.

as you lay back down, you watch as he removes his pants, his erected cock lined against his black calvins. “staring at me now?” jude teased, his hands resting on your knees as he pulled them apart to settle between them. “can’t help it, jude. you’re so handsome,” you complimented watching as he smirked. “and i’m all yours, right? say it y/n…”

“all mine.”

“good. because all that nonsense from before isn’t true. you’ve always been mine… only mine.” jude removed your bra, kissing from your collarbone down through your sternum, to finally sucking the hard erected nipple into his mouth. a soft moan left your lips, arching your back just a bit, while your hands gently grabbed his head. you didn’t expect your night to end like this, but you weren’t complaining since jude knew what exactly to do. he knew what brought you to the point where you saw only stars.

your eyes connected, watching as he flatly laid his warm tongue on the bud before sucking it again, twisting the tip of his tongue before doing the same to the other nipple. you felt as his lips traced all over your abdomen and hipbone, feeling as he removed the only thing that was left covering you. “can i taste you? make you cum all over my tongue again?” you moaned at his words, telling him to go on.

one hand kept your inner thigh open, as the other one rested over his shoulder. he kissed along the inner flesh before kissing and sucking your clit into his mouth. he groaned, watching as your eyes rolled back. his tongue moved up and down various on the small bead before going left to right, kitty licking all the way down to your coated entrance. “oh fuck!” you yelled out, as he brought two fingers and began to flick them in and out, hitting that certain spot that brought you closer and closer than ever.

he tilted his head to the side, his curls ticking your inner thigh as he began to flick over your clit once again. Jude’s fingers now flicking inside you, “i can’t, i’m close jude…” you said bringing your hands to play with your tits. “yeah? then cum for me y/n. cum all over my tongue like i asked,” to which you yelped and moaned as you felt on cloud nine again, closing your eyes and letting the feeling of euphoria linger all over you body.

he overstimulated you just for a bit, then kissed all the way back up again to your lips, where gripped your hips, grinding into you to relieve himself. “you feel that? that’s how you make me feel baby…” he whispers feeling as your hand slides down his abs, to the waistband of his underwear. the kiss is heated, tongues fighting for dominance, jude pulling away sometimes to groan or moan against your neck, as you gave him the sloppiest handjob.

feeling as he twitches on your palm as you guide your hand up and down, tugging and wrapping your grip tightly before soothing over it. “i need to cum… but not like this. can i fuck you now?” he admits, looking over and making sure there are no signs of you being unsure or regret. “please jude, i want to feel you a-ag-again…” you shuddered as you felt his hot tip being dragged up and down your slit.

one hand helped him stay up, while the other one guided his cock inside you, the familiar stretch of your walls as he easily slides into you. the two of you moan in delight, stunned at the pleasure as jude begins to roll his hips, going deeper and deeper. arching your back as he pulled out his cock and then quickly rolled back in. “jude..” you moan like a devotion, squeezing him tight, hearing him let out a grunt before feeling him thrust back into you.

you cry out as you feel his big length find a nice wave of ecstasy for the two of you, jude’s head falling into your shoulder trying to hold back from cumming on the spot. “you feel so so so good baby. such a tight pussy for me…” he moans out when you scratch his back and grip his biceps. you look down to see where your bodies meet, a wet mess that has you rolling your head back again.

“oh god jude… you’re so deep i can’t-” you turn your head to the side as he finds your g-spot thrusting over and over again, his hips slapping against yours. it couldn't get more better than this. jude grabs your chin and kisses you passionately, swallowing your moans and pleads. “you’re gonna cum for me? need and want you to cum on my cock y/n… show me how much of a good girl you are and cum on my cock, baby.”

jude makes it his goal to have you cumming for him, but you try to hold off so you can cum together. every cell in your body is on fire, ready to burst into fire because it feels so good. it gets harder by the second as he picks up the pace, his thrusts sloppier by the second, moaning your name, resulting in you clenching around him. you're unable to form coherent words, just hearing his breathing getting louder, your chest rising. “i’m nearly there y/n, want you to cum with me, can you do that?”

“yes jude… but i beg you to please don’t stop it.”

jude let’s go of your hips, forehead falling with yours as he reaches his high, feeling his cock twitching inside you, his cum lacing your wet walls with his release. your body tenses for a second, the hot feeling now being replaced by cold waves as you cum, lazily kissing as jude lays on your chest. “i love you, y/n, so much.”

“i love you too Jude. forever like we promised.”

after going up for a shower, jude takes care of you, since you were unable to walk properly. he makes sure you’re hydrated, wearing the plaid shorts you love with a black long sleeve, him just an old pair of boxers he still had lying in your flat, he checks that all lighting units downstairs are off, grabbing the box of cookies and goldfish to eat.

he pulls you into his embrace, hugging your waist never letting go, constantly softly kissing your cheek like he always did. after he uses the restroom and helps you brush your teeth, you’re lying on your bed, the white sheets covering your shivering bodies.

jude lays on top of your chest again, his right hand sliding up and down your side, his head resting comfortably on the crook of your neck, his eyes fluttering and smiling when you kiss his temple lovingly. “go to sleep jude… you need it, i’m not going anywhere,” you promise feeling as he wraps you closer to him. “don’t ever let me go please, just want you here like this all the time…” he confesses, his head coming up to see your glowy eyes.

“i’m not gonna… i feel safe and at home in your arms like this jude. so no, i’m not letting you go again or ever,” you stick with your word. jude’s lips softly kiss yours, tasting your cherry chapstick with a hint of mint.

“goodnight princess. i love you.”

#jude bellingham #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham smut #jude bellingham blurb #jude bellingham one shot #football imagine #football smut #football x reader #football fanfic #jude bellingham x y/n #jude bellingham x you

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xuqijie · 1 year

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miyawaki sakura x f!reader

# genre ; angst, slight fluff

# tags ; idols!exes to lovers(?), oblivious sakura, reader is suffering because they both have communication issues, mentions of iz*one disbandment, reader and sakura are same age

you never knew why sakura broke up with you before your second comeback. only when the two of you meet at a music show, then you find out the full story of your relationship.

note: stream cupid by fifty fifty like actually soty.

is love real? how could someone ever find their true love in a crowd of 7 billion people? was it even possible to find your soulmate and then somehow evade all obstacles of distance? you thought love could overcome anything.

miyawaki sakura was the love of your life, still is. a disheartening program like produce 48 had somehow given you the best years of your life; a family and a lover both wrapped in a big bow called ‘iz*one.’ when sakura had said, “we’ll stay together forever, as thirteen,” on the last week of pre-disbandment, you should have known she was lying.

when sakura said those three words to you on a night of hardship, you should have known. when she uttered her love and adoration, you should have known.

you should have known she wasn’t telling the truth. because if she truly loved you so, why did she leave? a question that had plaguing your thoughts more and more recently.

immediately after iz*one had disbanded, your then company, the black label, signed you to another contract, one that gave you more freedom in the studio, but restricted personal content. you thought nothing of it at that time, because how could they have ever known you were in a 3 year relationship with one of your ex-members?

the higher-ups knew that iz*one fans were still mourning and wishing for interactions between the members, so they took advantage and instantly you had to put out a song with choi yena, 2 months after iz*one had disbanded. all while sakura was still silent. you didn’t get many updates from her either.

and when your debut did amazingly well, you knew that your management would start to milk you as a member of iz*one.

“sakura didn’t reply to my texts, or calls,” you mentioned offhandedly to yuri and yena one day. the two looked shocked but yuri eased your worries by saying, “she’s probably preparing for her graduation in japan. she did text the group chat about it.”

yena nodded in agreement, but after seeing your body tense up, she quickly changed the subject.

“is the album coming along well?” your second comeback, only a few months after your debut. the hype was slowly dying down and your management was quick to act. this time, instead of having an iz*one member be featured, the title track would be co-written by eunbi and you.

“manager’s been forcing me to do some stuff, attend some parties,” you sighed, “but i don’t wanna spend my friday night shaking hands with men double my age.” yena looked as if she was about to respond, but then your phone lit up.

y/n🐼 [2.19pm]:

kkura i miss you

what are you doing now?

wifey 🐱💛 [5.54pm]:

hi i was recording ♪( ´▽｀)

i miss you too i wna go back to korea :(

you squealed excitedly, showing yena and yuri the text messages. yuri sent you a ‘i told you so’ look while yena faked a gag.

“you two are so disgusting,” she said, while yuri smacked her arm. “you’re just salty because you don’t have a girlfriend.”

“oh yeah? who’s fault is that?”

“what.”

after that day, you had thought your relationship skipped the strain and everything would be okay. it was only until sakura returned back to korea, you received a cryptic message from your then girlfriend.

wifey 🐱💛 [3.28am]:

let’s break up.

and all you could do was stare at the bright screen that greeted you in the wake of dawn until tears fell. of course, you had tried calling her and surprisingly, she picked up, but the phone call just made you more confused.

“why are we breaking up?”

will we stay together forever?

“i don’t love you anymore.”

you’re my favourite person in the world.

“tell me, why?”

are you sure? what if you find someone better than me? or you don’t like me anymore?

“i’m sorry, i don’t have an explanation.”

i would never do that. i swear.

“i hate you, sakura.”

i love you.

“i’m sorry.”

i love you too, y/n.

a beep sounding the loss of sakura in your life. your manager had found you in your room, under the blankets in tears. only a shake of his head and a sigh before he had to escort you to the van. because of course, even after suffering the worst heartbreak of your life, being an idol came first.

your members and especially the elder ones were reasonably upset. nako had threatened to beat sakura up if she had known that your relationship would end because of a phone call at the airport. you brushed them off, trying to display your hurt of your relationship ending as anger that sakura broke up on text with you.

“i’m fine, seriously,” you choked out, tears welling up but still maintaining a smile. the other iz*one members, mainly eunbi, hyewon, yena, yuri and minju, just stared at you blankly.

“i’m actually going to fight her,” hyewon nodded her head in agreement to eunbi’s statement. “i trusted her, to take care of you. instead of talking it out, she decides to break up with you?”

“eunbi unnie, i don’t want to talk about her anymore, okay? can we play mario kart or something else instead?” you pleaded, the mere mention of sakura piercing your heart tenfold.

the members looked skeptic but your insistence made them all resign to a night of mario kart.

at first glance now, anyone would think that you had moved onto bigger and better things. a year had passed and you had just put out your third album, cupid. most of the songs were written by you at 3am, and heavily centred on one japanese. you knew that once word had gotten out about your muse, the iz*one group chat, excluding sakura, would blow up and your messages would be filled with worrisome questions.

not only that, you were currently at a music show, where lesserafim were also at, without a doubt. their debut was a smash hit in korea, fearless charting number 1 countless amounts of times and you couldn’t help but feel proud at chaewon’s improvement as a leader, yet bittersweet over seeing your ex-girlfriend.

you sighed as the makeup artist brushed your cheeks with blush.

“i hope you don’t get too choked up when you win,” she winked at you. you shook your head, chuckling, “i mean, lesserafim’s here, fearless might win.”

“i still think cupid’s better.”

“of course you do, i’m your favourite idol!” your makeup artist finished up and you were good to go. you felt your heart speed up at the thought of seeing sakura in the flesh and silently hoped that you wouldn’t have to stand too close to her.

you got back on stage and met eyes with wonyoung and yujin, both who had returned with love dive as ive and they sent you a reassuring smile.

“i think she’s here,” you said.

“oh,” yujin shrugged, “unnie, you should stand with us then, iz*one reunion? maybe even invite chaewon unnie to stand with us.”

“that’s so mean, yujinnie,” wonyoung sighed, exasperated. “well, she shouldn’t have gave such a dumb excuse to break up with our unnie—”

the mcs appeared on stage and began the show, you caught chaewon’s wave and hesitantly waved back, not before accidentally colliding with the person behind you. embarrassed, you turn around and instantly lit up.

“yuqi!” you whispered excitedly. the g-idle member grinned, “hi! look, i think you’re winning.” you turned to the big screen, truly, if the current votes add up, you would be leading. but between lesserafim and ive, anything could happen.

“and the winner is…” you held your breath, “y/n with ‘cupid’!” the ive members turned to you and you heard yuqi giggle behind you.

“good job, unnie!”

as your song played, groups started leaving the stage but g-idle remained behind since as a soloist, it was incredibly lonely standing up on stage when in iz*one, you had 12 other girls singing and dancing with you.

while minnie and shuhua started their own rendition of your song, you laughed cheerfully, but you couldn’t help but notice the lingering shadow by the stage.

miwayaki sakura, the one woman you had been avoiding the entire night, staring right at you.

it was like time froze. you remembered telling her that those kdramas were all so cliché with the love interests meeting. the same songs playing in the back as the background blurred.

but it felt true now.

‘good job,’ she mouthed. you were about to respond when yuqi pulled you back for the chorus and the grip on your wrist was noticed by sakura, who frowned and glared at your same aged friend.

after a stage of giggles and funny dance moves, you headed back to your waiting room, ready to take your makeup artist out for barbecue since she had guessed correctly on the winner. your stomach rumbled and you took out the coins you had stashed in your jacket’s pocket.

heading to the vending machine, you gasped seeing the prices. “ten thousand won for a bag of chips? that’s crazy,” you exclaimed but your hunger came first and it wasn’t as if you were broke.

as you bent down to reach for the bag, a voice startled you. “y/n.”

you whipped your head back, gaping.

“uh, hi.”

sakura’s face was blank and expressionless but through her eyes, you could tell that she was feeling extremely awkward.

“congrats, uhm, for the win.”

you nodded. “thanks. anything else? i need to go soon.”

the japanese clenched her fists and her voice came out pained, “are you dating anyone?”

you paled.

“what?”

sakura repeated, more grit in her voice, “are you dating song yuqi?”

suddenly, all anger rushed to your head. all the sleepless nights she made you experience, all the tears you let out in the shower, all the pain you had to endure. it made you frustrated.

“sakura, what’s the point of asking that?” you snapped, gripping the bag of chips tightly which was a rather comical sight.

your ex scrunched up her nose and you had to pretend it wasn’t cute. “does that mean you’re dating her?”

“no. but why does it matter?”

“because… you,” sakura groaned, “you can’t…”

eyes filled with fury, you retorted, “can’t what? can’t date other people after we broke up? am i not allowed to find other people when you were the one who broke up with me? over text?”

“y/n, i regret it,” sakura mumbled, “i regret all of it. please.”

“please what? what am i meant to do? you broke my heart, you asshole. what is this conversation meant to be about? what are you trying to do?”

your ex looked down, ashamed, but your heart broke even further at the tears spilling out of her eyes.

“i’m sorry. i thought, when we disbanded, that we would just break up because of the long distance and… i thought i was saving us from each other. i was wrong, i love you, please let me try again,” sakura explained, her voice hoarse.

you debated. was it worth it? all the heartbreak? for sakura? you had loved her for years, but were you ready to trust her again?

“i trusted you. i don’t anymore,” you started slowly, sakura’s eyes dimming at every word, “let’s start out as friends again, i think the members miss you at our reunion dinners.”

#miyawaki sakura x reader #sakura x reader #lesserafim x reader

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ohtobeleah · 4 months

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So with WIO, as much as I love Jake as a character I have to admit that in this series he’s royally pissed me off. He knows he messed up but doesn’t know where which is somewhat understandable, but yet he’s doing things way to late like with fixing the faucet it took him to see her leaving for him to go “I’ll fix the tap and all is good” like no baby it’s a bit to late for that now.

Also him just passing off the fact that she needed quiet in order to finish off a few chapters for her book is heartbreaking, like you know if it was the other way around Honey would have dropped everything in order to make sure he was happy.

“When’s my birthday?” You asked like he should have known that answer off the top of his head, because he should have and he did. / “Novem—oh fuck Y/n no hold on a minute.” Jake couldn’t find the words he wanted to say at that moment, how could he forget your birthday? He missed it entirely and you said not a single thing about it. < this broke me. My ex forgot my birthday twice but I didn’t say anything because I was so in love with him, the second birthday he didn’t notice until his best friend showed up to my apartment a week later with a card and present, my ex even tried to make out he had brought me presents the year before. The saddest thing is even after 7 years of not being with him I still remember his birthday, his moms and dads.

I fucking adore Jensen, “Oh shit, I'll swing by once I'm out of the woods.” Like poor baby is going through his own shit and yet he’s still so concerned about her. I bet Honey got whiplash from the affection from Jensen when her own ex husband, the father to her kids gave up on her and their marriage. Jensen was the first one to know about her cancer, the one that showed up on her birthday when Jake never said anything to her. I really hope it’s a happy ending for Jensen!

I hate Jakes parents so much, I honestly get a jealous vibe from them. Rodney being jealous that his son was marrying the true love of his life whilst Rodney probably married Janeen because he got her knocked up. Janeen being jealous of the fact that Honey knew her worth and left a loveless/one sided marriage whilst she stays with Rodney and turns a blind eye to his affairs (that you just know he has). I love Maz because all she wants is the best for the both of them, even though Jake broke her daughters heart she still sees him as a son and can clearly see the love he has for Honey.

Id prefer a happy ending because I’m an absolute sucker for those, where she beats cancer and Jake gets his shit together, they go to therapy together and individually, they remarry, Jake and Jensen actually become really good friends

This is such an in-depth analysis and valuable insight. Jakes just a little too late with it all. 😞 Like @taytaylala12 said earlier today, he became too complacent in the ideology Honey would always be around because he knew how much she loved him.

Jensen…… I haven’t truly decided on his best course of action yet.

I love reading these takes, I do use them to create the storyline. I have a rough idea of where I’m going but when you guys send in asks like this it’s really hard not to take all this into consideration.

#was it over? // jake seresin #tw: cancer

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whats-wild-to-you · 2 years

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The Perfect Plan (Jay Park fiction)

Epilogue

<Jennifer’s POV>

"You're doing what? You're going on a date with Simon?"

"It's not a date." Dana protested. "We're just grabbing dinner!"

"Yeah. It's a date. It would've been different if it was lunch, but dinner? Dimmed lights, nice music? He's taking you on a date!"

Are you free tonight? Jay is busy this weekend and I don't know what to do with myself.

I felt bad texting Dana so out of the blue. It's been a few weeks since we talked last, I was busy moving back to Seoul and she got swamped with work.

Umm...sure. I'll come by around 7.

When she arrived, she was on her phone texting, and she didn't put it away for one minute.

"Am I boring you?"

"What? No! Umm...sorry, it's just-"

"Work?"

"Not exactly."

"It's a guy? OMG, it's a guy. Do I know him?"

Dana looked at me sheepishly, while putting her phone down. "It's Simon!"

I remained quiet, not wanting to jump to conclusions. I had heard from Jay that he thought Simon started dating again. So Dana and him were getting back together?

"He called me a few weeks ago, he just wanted to check in, those were his exact words. We talked for a bit and then he suggested we could meet. So we went out for coffee a couple days later and we talked some more."

"About what? The weather, the current economy? Politics?" I raised my voice an octave higher. Jay never revealed the circumstances of their breakup to me, but I sensed that whatever Simon did, broke Dana's heart. She had become a dear friend to me, and seeing her hurt was the last thing I wanted, and I was willing to go to war for that.

Dana sighed, unsure whether what she had to say would change my opinion on Simon. But the fact that she tried anyway made me believe that those two had genuine feelings for each other.

"He had just ended a long-term relationship, I didn't know it at that time but apparently he was willing to marry that woman. But it ended and so he started dating casually. We met at a party, clicked instantly and I fell for him that night. He did too, I know he did, but he kept pushing me away, treating me like I was a fangirl. One day I confronted him, but he ignored me and walked away. A friend of his from the label heard our conversation and came to me afterwards. He said since Simon had a really nasty breakup, he lost trust in women and faith in love and it would take some time for him to open up to a woman again."

"And you stayed? And let him treat you like dirt? Because some other woman broke his heart? That's not your fault! Why should you suffer for it?"

"I thought he needed to see that not all women were like his ex. I stayed by his side as a friend-"

"Yet you wanted more!"

"After a while I could see I was slowly gaining his trust. We were still just friends, but in front of others he would be very protective of me!"

"Oh, Dana. No!"

"I know what you're thinking, but I wasn't imaging it. We had a bond!"

"Dana... you told me he ghosted you!"

"Anyway, that's in the past. He contacted me again, he didn't have to, but he did."

"He was trying to help Jay, I'm sorry if this sounds insensitive but he told me Jay was in pain and Simon would've done anything to help him."

"I thought a lot about whether I should tell you. I knew you didn't think much of Simon, but I sincerely hoped you would be happy for me!"

"I just don't want you to get hurt again!"

Nothing much was said after that, and Dana left shortly after. The truth was I didn't know much about Simon, just that he was Jay's best friend, and the one who got us back together. That made him a decent person in my eyes, but the stunt he pulled with Dana cost him some points. I decided I would have to get to the bottom of this, if nothing else than for Dana's sake.

<Jay’s POV>

It was already dark when I entered my new apartment I shared with Jen. It was past midnight, and Jen was obviously already asleep, so I carefully entered our shared bedroom, took off my clothes and hopped in the shower before I joined Jen in bed, pulling her close to me, allowing her to use my chest as a pillow.

"Were you working until now?" Her drowsy, muffled voice filled the room.

"We were rehearsing for the show tomorrow!"

"Right."

"Did I wake you?"

"I wasn't sleeping."

She reached out her hand, turning on the little bedside lamp.

"Can I ask you something?"

I immediately tensed up. I knew Jen wasn't a fan of me staying in the studio until late, or tagging along with friends who wanted to go to the club. And she definitely wasn't a fan of my female backup dancers.

"Sure, babe!"

"What kind of person is Simon?"

"What?"

She propped her elbow up, supporting her head in her palm, lightly tapping her cheek with her index finger. Her other hand drew lazy circles on my chest.

"It's just, I talked to Dana earlier and she told me about the time her and Simon first met, and that she thinks that they might get back together. And you mentioned before that Simon was dating somebody. Is it Dana? Please tell me it's her!"

"It's her! And Simon, he's had a really intense relationship before he met Dana. The breakup was, well, he didn't take it well. So naturally he didn't trust any woman he met and kept them at an arm's length. But he fell in love with Dana. Without realizing it, that fool! And when he realized, he pushed her away. Nobody knew back then, we all saw him being down and never knew the reason."

"What makes you think he changed? What guarantee is there that he won't go running for the hills next time he feels overwhelmed by his feelings?"

"I think we had a little something to do with it!"

"We? Us two? How?"

"I may have talked to him, after he confessed to me. Encouraged him to go after Dana if he still has feelings for her, said that if I can win you back he can win back Dana too!"

<Jennifer’s POV>

"Huh? Win me back? I remember it differently though!"

His brown eyes glistened in the dim light, a smile danced around his lips as he wrestled me and pinned me under him, his weight pressing on my body, exuding a sense of security.

"What are you talking about? I had a plan! I executed it. It worked, didn't it? How else would you be in bed with me now?"

"Excuse me? I was the one who mentioned a move back to Seoul first!"

"But I bought us an apartment months ago!"

"You bought it for yourself!"

"I bought it for you. And for our family."

"Don't joke about something like this!"

"I'm not! Haven't you noticed there are still two empty rooms?"

My mind went blank. All good and witty comebacks I had prepared vanished in front of my eyes as I saw Jay looking at me intensely.

"Where would you find the time to have a family? You're way too busy!"

"Say the word and I will drop everything!"

"I- You-" He silenced me with a kiss, instructing me to wait while he climbed out of bed and disappeared into the walk-in closet.

"I bought this months ago, even before I bought the apartment, even before we were separated." He opened his palm, revealing a dark red velvety box, like the ones that usually carry a diamond ring in them.

"I don't wanna push you in any way, but this is something that I wanted for a long time. I'm not being rash either, I just know what I want. I want you, and I want a family, a life, with you."

"I-" Tears were brimming in my eyes, I blinked them away, trying to gather my thoughts.

"Just take it, wear it around the house when I'm not there, see how it feels. I know this must be a shock, so I don't expect an answer right away, just promise me that you will really think about it."

I nodded my head furiously, tears staining the bed covers. But a wide smile was plastered on my face. It matched Jay's as he let himself fall backwards in bed, opening his arms so I could nestle in his warm embrace and fall into peaceful slumber.

The church bells kept ringing in that same upbeat joyful rhythm with my heartbeat matching it, beating excitedly in my chest. I kept fumbling with my dress in a desperate attempt to not get any creases on it.

Suddenly the door opened, the wedding planner stuck his head inside, looking left and right.

"Where is she?" He inquired, his eyes landing on me.

"Bathroom, throwing up." I casually answered.

"She needs to be ready in ten minutes!"

And with that he disappeared again. Seconds later, Dana emerged from the bathroom, a bridesmaid following her, making sure her dress remained clean.

"If people can't tell I'm pregnant from my belly, they'll sure notice it from looking at my pukey face."

"No one can't tell!" I assured her, fixing her makeup.

"It's just... I don't need people thinking Simon and I are getting married because he got me pregnant."

"No one's thinking that!"

Dana released the breath she was holding and inspected herself in the mirror.

"How are you feeling?" She suddenly said, locking eyes with me through the mirror.

"Me? I'm good! Yeah. Excited. For you!"

"Really? Then why do you sound more nervous than me?"

I chuckled, waving my hands in the air.

"You know you could be next, right?"

I looked down, in a lousy attempt to hide my smile, touching Jay's ring that was stuck firmly on my left ring finger.

"Yeah, I could be next!"

***

The End

#h1ghrgang #jay park #h1ghrmusic #park jaybum #aomg jay park #jay park aomg #park jaebum #aomg imagines #jay park scenario #aomg scenarios #aomgofficial #khh imagines #more soju please #park jaebeom #jay park imagines #jay park fanfic

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i-am-the-myrmidon · 4 months

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Idk why it’s been so bad lately. I really miss my ex. I miss the curls of her hair, the way she felt in my arms, I miss when we could have made it through anything together. At some point I became her scapegoat for anything she was unhappy with so by the time she actually dumped me it was so toxic. She would push and push and push and it didn’t (and still doesn’t matter how much I ask for space and calm as we have these discussions, they just escalate to yelling and accusations. The version of her I miss isn’t there anymore. Maybe it never was.

I have tried dating a few times but I feel like I’m cheating on her still and nothings gone far. I wish we didn’t live together, I would be so much better off if I never had to see her again. I’ll find myself picking up little gifts still. I’ll find myself thinking how happy she’ll be that I’ve done x, y, or an around the house. Sometimes she turns to me when I come home and I’m filled with the urge to embrace her or trail my hand along her back as I walk through the room.

I’ll experience a whiplash and snap into reality. When will I be able to move forward? I feel like I’m drowning.

It’s been over a year now. A year and 2 months since we broke up. We own the house we live in together so splitting is complicated, especially with the interest rates now. They said it usually takes 1-2 years to get over someone you were married to. Bitter, because one of her big issues was getting married. I wasn’t ready to get married at 23. I felt like a child still, we were still living in my parents basement to save money for the down payment on our own place. She was so mad at me for that, even though I told her I wanted to and worked to make her feel permanency in our life together, I was even trying to start a 529 plan for her little brother.

She had dumped me in one of our fights like 3 days after we moved in and It took her 1-2 weeks to start dating a new guy. I was pushing through the worst period of short staffedness at work, handled all of the meetings and paperwork for the house, and now she broke up with me, I couldn’t talk us through it like I normally did, I needed a little space. Instead of helping us move our crap, instead of helping me clean and fix up the house we bought together, she was out there dating strangers. How could she be mad at me for not wanting to marry her at 23 but throw me away for a stranger. 7 years of friendship, 3 in a relationship.

I know the answer is she has issues she has to work through still, but the grief causes me physical aches even still. I feel so lost and scared. I feel like I don’t believe in love anymore, I feel like I wasted all of my romance. I don’t know how to move forward. I’ve tried therapy multiple times but i don’t feel like I’ve found anything helpful.

Like why can’t I just get over her??? How can you know a thing and still feel another

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darylspissslit · 1 year

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I wanna take a moment to be cheesy about 2022.

Last year didn't start off too well. I was still dealing with a blood clot in my brain and the constant risk of it bleeding and causing another stroke or seizure had me stressed out. I was scared it would happen while I was holding my baby so I was scared to spend time with him and scared to be alone with him just in case something happened to me he wouldn't get hurt or be left unattended until I could get to my phone.

I was stressed over my child being behind on his development because he was born so early and doctors made us feel like we weren't working with him enough.

I had also decided at the beginning of 2022 to cut off the friends I had because they were bad for my mental health. They ignored me and made me feel unloved during my pregnancy and then after I had him in 2021 they didn't bother to check up on me or see how my son was doing. My son and I both had difficulty during the pregnancy. He was born 9 weeks early and was 2lbs when he was born and lived in the NICU for a month and I had multiple seizures and a stroke 2 days after having my son due to a bleeding clot in the brain. And none of my "friends" bothered to check on us. After that I tried to have a friendship with them but they made it perfectly clear that they didn't want to be friends unless I had something to offer and I didn't. I was recovering and being a stay at home mom with strict rules for people coming around my son and they didn't like that. So when 2022 came around I decided to cut all contact with them and I went friendless for about 7 months.

But then I decided to be on Tumblr a little more than I was. I met some great people on here that were really nice, accepting, and supportive. I started interacting more and following more blogs and it was nice to be part of a Tumblr community again (the Daryl community is so much nicer than the one direction community when I was on Tumblr forever ago). I write fics now. At a very slow pace but I am writing. It's fun. It may not be good but it's good enough for me because I have fun writing. I used to write one direction fics back in the day but that was literally in middle school so it's been a looong time. I love writing for Daryl. He's literally the best fictional man to exist and he receives no love in the show so I love writing him being loved 😭. And people like reading about him being loved. And every single like, reblog, and comment I get on my fics makes me wanna write more. Its crazy to think people are actually reading what I write and supporting me. I love literally everyone who took the time to read even just the first sentence of my fics. Y'all are amazing 💗💗💗💗

I also decided to try making friends again. My old roommate finally broke up with her boyfriend (he was the reason we moved out) her ex was a bad person who changed her and nobody could convince her he was as bad as he was. So when she left him and she needed a friend I was there. I liked being roommates with her but our other roommate (her bf) was trash so when my bf and I left I stopped talking to her. So it was nice becoming friends with her again. Now I have one of the best most supportive fun friends I could ask for. The past 6 months being friends with her has been better for my mental health than the past 4 out of 10 years I spent with my now ex best friend. My ex best friend has seen my son in person twice since he was born. My now best friend sees him everyday, watches him if I need to take a nap, sits with him at the house if the weather is too bad to take him out, helps me take care of him when she comes over. She is the best friend I could ask for. I know she's not on Tumblr but SHOUTOUT TO ALEX FOR BEING SO FUCKING AMAZING AND BEING THE BEST FRIEND I NEEDED THIS YEAR.

My son is doing better also. Beginning of 2022 he was still behind. But eventually we upgraded to sippy cups instead of bottles, he eats a little more solids than he used to even though he's incredibly picky. He learned to walk and now he runs and climbs. He's almost talking (I'm convinced my son knows how to talk and he just doesn't want to cause he makes almost talking noises all the time but when we try to teach him to talk he just smiles at us and stays silent). He has his own room now and he sleeps in a toddler bed (we call it his big boy bed) he loves his bed. He stands on it lays down in all directions on it. He like to lay backwards with his feet on the wall when he's watching movies. Speaking of movies he now has more than 2 favorite movies. His first favorite movie was Moana. His face would light up and he would smile and dance side to side when Moana was on. Then he loved Encanto. Now he loves Moana, Encanto, Turning Red, Frozen 1 &2, Wreck it Ralph, Ratatouille (he laughs when the mice are talking), Coco, and Luca. My son is doing great he's living his happy little life and I'm so grateful to be able to watch him grow up and become his own little person I love learning new things about my son all the time.

My relationship with my bf was strained the beginning of this year too. The stress got to both of us. He was having to take care of our son and me while also working. I pulled what weight I could but I know he was carrying us the whole time. I would have given up if it wasn't for him. We had our fights and even talked about breaking up but in the end we love eachother too much to give up. And I'm happy we didn't because after my deep depression lifted we were good again. We've even been tossing out little jokes about getting married 🤞🏽.

I no longer go to therapy and I'm off meds for now. I'm finally seeing a doctor about this pain in my uterus so I can finally get it taken care of after 8 months of extreme pain and discomfort during sex. I've also somehow lost 70lbs this year which is crazy to think about. I don't really look like I've lost it but I can tell in the loose skin around my arms, stomach, thighs, and even my breasts. I got to buy a belt for the first time in years since my pants don't fit and it's nice to put on a shirt that was tight at the beginning of the year.

Anyways this year has been a rollercoaster and luckily it had a pretty smooth ending. This year I'm hoping to make it one to remember. I have plans on going back to school, planning small family trips so my son can experience more than this town has to offer, I'm hoping to keep my only real friendship going, I don't plan on making new friends but if I do I hope they aren't secretly trash like the other ones were. I will not allow myself to be used or talk down to by people this year. And I will have fun and live every moment the best I can.

OH also this year I joined a discord server for people who live Daryl/Norman and I'm so happy I did because I don't know what I would be like now if I hadn't meet those amazing people who make me feel included and safe. We laugh about the stupidest stuff but we have so much fun. I've never had a group of online friends and it's one of the best things ever. Also because of that discord group I went to Los Angeles, California for The Walking Dead finale event and met one of the girls from the group in person who's also amazingly talented and one of my favorite fic writers EVER and we got to witness the finale of twd together. It was such a fun experience that I will never forget and I'm so thankful for that moment. ALSO I GOT NORMAN REEDUS' SCRIBBLY SHITTY AUTOGRAPH AT THE EVENT AND HE TOOK A SELFIE ON MY PHONE! I also got Paola Lázaro and Angel Theorys' autograph aka Princess and Kelly. Also also we bumped into Angel Theory in the hall at the event and she looked me up and down and said "pretty". I was shook. I melted. I have yet to feel ugly since that moment. And to think I had second thoughts about the outfit I wore that night 🤦🏾‍♀️.

There were a lot of first times for me on that trip. My first time on a plane, first time taking a far away trip on my own,first time going to California, first time in a city as big as LA, first time meeting an online friend, first time going to any big event, first time seeing a red carpet, first time seeing celebrities so close, first time getting a famous person's autograph, this some small things but was my first time on a rooftop bar, first time on one of those Byrd scooters, and kinda my first time walking around a big city. I didn't even need to go sight seeing I was having so much fun just being somewhere new.

HAPPY 2023!!!

#2022 #about my life #personal

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biggy-habes · 2 years

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Before we begin, I want to throw out BIG thanks to everyone who took the time to read the last chapter. I am going to be honest, ever since Kat and I broke up I have been feeling rather useless and empty. I saw myself as a failure. I I was confused. I had no answers and no closure. And I know how dangerous I can be when I sink too low and start getting all wrapped up in my mind. But so many of you have reached out to me just to let me know you are thinking of me. Or to tell me how much you enjoyed what I have written so far and how you have been through similar experiences. And I love the hell out of that! And that shit really got to me. It made me feel like I really have a place here. The truth is that I am exhausted. I'm exhausted from having to start back at square one. I am no longer a spring chicken. I'm a portly 43-year-old fella who sweats way too much. Not exactly catching a lot of right swipes. But I have been watching a lot of Rom Coms lately. (It's a coping mechanism. Sue me.) Well, I watched this flick I Want You Back about 6 or 7 times in the last 6 months. It has Charlie Day and Jenny Slate, who I have a bit of a crush on. *SPOILER ALERT!!!* but there is a line that continues to resonate with me. Jenny Slate's character Emma is asked by her ex why she tried to get him back so hard when they were clearly so incompatible, she tells him that she just "wanted the search to be over." That was exactly where I was. I just wanted to be done with all of this dating. I wanted to be with my life partner. But then Emma goes on to say "But maybe you can't force it. Maybe you just have to do the best that you can on your own and if you do a really good job, and you're lucky, then you find someone." I thought that I had found that someone in Kat. And I am so very grateful for our time together. I will never regret having her come into my life. I'm not a big fan of how she left my life, but I am working on that. But she was not that someone. As time went on, we became less and less compatible. And no, you can't force it. Ive tried so hard all of my life to force it. And it has led to disaster every time. So, I just have to do the best that I can. And do a little good. And when you all read my story and you tell me how it has helped you or it there was something that they really needed to hear, it helps me realize that this right here, this is my Good.

So, with that being said, let's press on with the story.

When we left off Amanda and I were living together with our pup, Fennie. We had just done quite a bit of traveling together and things are going great. I had also recently left Narcotics Anonymous and the recovery life after a resentment festered in me. I was working on completing my bachelor's degree and was taking steps to pursue a Ph.D. I was on my way to take the GREs in Oklahoma City.

I pulled into the parking lot of the Skirvin Hotel and walked into the lobby. I chose this particular location for its extensive history of being haunted. It has been said that NBA players have had terrible games when playing in Oklahoma City because they were kept up all night by things going bump in the night. It has a history of being a speakeasy during prohibition. And saying that this hotel was fancy would not do it justice. The lobby like something out of a movie! And it certainly had an old timey horror flick vibe to it. I checked into my room and relaxed for a bit. The plan was to get one last study session in, take a bath in that fancy ass tub and sit around in the provided robe, head down to the bar to get a drink and something to eat, come back, hit the bricks, and call it a night. Well…I seem to have what is usually referred to as an "addictive personality". And I have always had a predilection for a good scotch. If I was going to have my first drink after 8 years of recovery running around in my head, it was going to be something classy and fitting of the vibe in the hotel bar. I walked up to the bar with a timid awkwardness but once I had a seat on the high-top chair and was greeted by the bartender, I felt like I was reconnecting with an old friend. "Double of Johnny Red on the rocks please. And leave it open." I had one glass with my dinner and decided to have one more at the bar. Next thing I know I am on my 7th glass and am bumming smokes from strangers outside. Soon I hear the clanging of a bell as they announce last call. I freeze and soon realize the gravity of the situation. I was here to take the exam that is going to determine my future and I have spent the last 6 hours pounding down scotch whiskey. Well, there is only one thing left for me to do. And if you think that was to go to sleep…well, you would be incorrect. That is not the way that I operate. The correct answer was…walk to the corner store and get a 12 pack of Coronas to take back to the room. After all, I didn’t have to be at the exam until noon and checkout was at 11. PLENTY of time! I do not remember crawling into bed that night, but I remember the feeling that I had the next day.

Apparently Drunk Haber was smart enough to set an alarm. At 9am it began to wail. I was not prepared for the feeling I had waiting for me. I was unable to completely open my eyes because the light would nauseate me. It hurt to even think. My head felt like there were stones where my brain would normally be. I start to panic because I am in no shape to leave the hotel room. How the FUCK am I going to take the GREs feeling like this? I run a hot bath and think about my options. I could A) Just chalk it up as a loss. Just tell Amanda that I ate bad seafood for dinner and had food poisoning. B) I could just drive back to Lawton, come clean to Amanda about the previous night, and just crawl into bed. Or C) Suck it the hell up, put on my big boy panties, and come hell or high water, I was going to take that exam. I chose C. I got up, threw on some clothes, checked out (keeping one eye closed so that I didn’t see double), and was on my way. The testing site was only 10 minutes away, but it felt like an hour. I pulled in and walked up to where you have to sign in. I cannot imagine how I looked (or how I smelled for that matter) to them. I was practically sweating out peat moss. I was walked over to my testing station, and I gave one last pep talk to myself. "C'mon, Haber, pull your shit together. You GOT THIS!". The exam began. For the first hour and a half I was doing alright. It was a struggle to concentrate on my work, but I really felt like I could pull through this. And then…. the oats started to roll. I was on the essay portion of the exam and had a good 45 minutes to go. I can do it! I got this!......And then, I no longer had it. I got up (Big time rule violation) and walked over to the proctor and said I wasn’t feeling well and needed to use the bathroom. I do not know if I was actually granted permission. It didn’t matter. I had about 20 seconds before the pound of brisket and 8 scotch doubles was needing OUT! I JUST BARELY made it to the bathroom and proceeded with one of the harshest vomiting that has ever took place from this body. Normal people are able to be sick, throw up, look a little flushed, but no real lasting consequences. But no, not Haber. Everything has to be EXTRA with me! So, when I throw up it is VIOLENT! I have bruised ribs, broken vessels, and given myself black eyes on more than one occasion. Afterwards I look like I have been in a goddamn vehicle accident! I pulled myself up and staggered to the sink. As I splashed water on my face and attempted to collect myself. I As I sat in front of the sink splashing water on my face and washed my mouth out, I attempted to gather myself. Eventually I made my way back in to complete my exam. I took heavy breaths as I struggled to complete it. I'm not too sure how I was able to make it through, but I hung tough. And to think that I had to write 2 essays for that thing. I would LOVE to read what the hell I actually wrote.

A few months later I received my exam results in the mail. And, well, I was pretty much right smack dab in the middle of the Bell curve. So despite having double digit glasses of scotch and 4 beers for a night cap, I did just as well as half the people who took the exam. I believe that I mentioned before that I am good at school. And I can take a test like it's my job! I would go on to take the GRE two more times, as well as the Psychology GREs twice. These were an intense 2 years. But I had my eyes on the prize. I was going to be addressed as Doctor Haber someday and that was all there was to it. I had already scouted a few schools that would CERTAINLY want a fella like me in their Clinical Psych PhD program! I worked hard to put together as impressive of an application as possible. I will be honest, I was KILLIN' IT! However, I was going to have to face the fact that I had relapsed. The one thing that I had spent so many years trying to avoid had happened. And for the most part my relapse had not had any negative effects on my life. I had some feelings of guilt, but all of that bad shit that I was told would come back to me had not happened. Yet.

It actually had a beneficial effect on my relationship with Amanda. The fact that she really liked to drink and I would remain sober would always be an underlying cause of tension. Now we were able to have margaritas together after work at Los Tres Amigos, the amazing Mexican joint right down the road from us. Soon we were smoking pot together. And that brought us even closer. We would have deeper conversations, amazing sex, and connected on an intimate level. And despite my anger and resentment towards the 12 step programs there were still plenty of people who loved me so much while I was in the program who wanted me to remain in their lives. They would often check up on me to make sure I was doing alright and ask about Amanda and Fennie.

These were people who kept loving me no matter what I may have said or done, no matter how many tantrums I would throw in a meeting and storm out, they were quick to give me a hug and tell me how much they loved me no matter what. I learned so much about myself, about love, and about living life on life's terms from them. It meant so much to me knowing that they still cared for me and wanted to be sure I was good to go. We would continue to take the trip to Dallas to watch the Rangers face the Red sox. We would continue to have dinner together and I would often get invited to birthday parties and holiday meals. They were my family for so many years and they continued to remain in my life despite our lifestyle differences.

In October we decided to take a weekend trip to Greenleaf State Park. This was a few hours away so we loaded up the car, threw Fennie and Mia in the back, and we hit the highway. One thing that we really loved to do together was to take road trips. I never really minded long car rides with Amanda. She was a great travel companion. We would make each other laugh, sing along to the radio at the top of our voices, and our trips would often get stretched out due to us constantly stopping at any place of interest we would come across. Fennie was also getting to be quite the seasoned traveler as well. That dog had seen more of this great country than most adults that I know. That weekend was incredible! We went hiking with Fennie and took videos of his confusion as he encountered his first turtle. That night we drank wine and smoked a joint by a campfire. We had brought a frozen pizza with us to cook not even considering whether the cabin had an oven. We ended up rigging up a system to cook it over the flames.

The next day while walking around we came across a run-down playground complete with a dilapidated mini golf course and tether ball pole that we had a field day on. It was a perfect weekend. Relaxed, mellow, and intimate. We were growing together as a couple and as a family.

As winter rolled in, we were making plans for the holidays. We spent Thanksgiving with her family and although I can occasionally come off as socially awkward, they seemed to accept me. When there were challenges to face, we would take them head on together. Right before Christmas Mia had gotten into a scrap with another cat in the apartment complex and ended up fracturing her hip. After taking her to get x-rays the vet came out and told us that the surgery was going to cost $1200. Without hesitation we chose to cancel our Christmas plans to afford the procedure.

After all, we were a family, and Mia was now part of that family. There was no other choice to consider.

We would end up spending the last few weeks of the year together in our apartment. But we made the best of it. Because that is what we did! We made the best of anything.

And that is how 2011 ended. And that is where we will leave off for now. 2011 started off with me taking a major step in moving in with Amanda. And it ended with me feeling on top of the world. 2012 is going to turn into a whirlwind. It will begin with Amanda, Fennie, Mia, and myself ringing in the new year together, and it will eventually end with me and Fennie leaving to begin a new life in North Carolina.

#Spotify

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kshira · 2 years

Text

— BLACK LICORICE

SUMMARY: sanzu takes you on a date and hopes you’ve made your decision to be with him again

TW: fem!reader, mentions of murder, cursing, for the smut: praise, fingering, soft and sweet, soft dom sanzu, pillow talk, literal romantic sanzu

WC: 2.6k

AN: again, i appreciate the likes, reblogs and sweet comments on this series, it means so much to me

SERIES MASTERLIST

CHAPTER NINE — BLOODLESS BUBBLEGUM

[PRESENT TIMELINE]

“has the target moved?” sanzu peers through the scope, pulling back to look over at mikey splayed over the rooftop ledge with his eyes closed shut.

“no, he’s still inside—i won’t get a good shot until he’s out” sanzu walks backwards till his ass hits the ground, using his knees as leverage while shifts his weight on them.

“can i ask you a question?” sanzu murmurs, keeping his eyes planted on the ground, nerves swirling in his gut, “you’re going to ask me why i slept with your ex-girlfriend, correct?”

“just tell me why so i can sleep at night” sanzu breathes, bringing a finger out to the ground while he traces a small circle. mikey leans up from the ledge, sighing “jealousy? i don’t know, i’ve always liked her and when you broke it off i thought after some time i’d take my chance.”

sanzu looks over at mikey, pale eyes meeting with his bleak ones, “but i regretted it, i could just tell she still loved you, sanzu” mikey swivels on the ledge while he jumps to his feet, walking over to where sanzu is hunched over.

“what even is love?” sanzu admits, rising to meet eyes with him, mikey pulls his gun out and cocks it, raising the gun to sanzu’s head “would you take this bullet right now if her life depended on it?”

sanzu walks closer till the barrel touches his forehead, “i would.” mikey pulls the gun back, smirking at sanzu’s cooled over composure, not even breaking a sweat when a gun was pointed to his head.

“there’s your answer, loverboy” mikey walks over to the rooftop, leaning over the edge and aiming the gun at the target—the blast piercing through the air, a bullet meant for sanzu devotion for you driven in another man’s skull.

“miss?” a voice breaks through your concentration, as you work new books into a shelf and organize them by author. you peep over the bookcase and watch the delivery man hold out a bouquet of colorful wildflowers.

“for me?” you question, grabbing the vase and looking at a small white envelope tucked between the green vines, the man only nods before walking away and you pick the note up, smiling as you skim over the words.

date night @ 7:30, be ready pretty girl

you automatically pull your phone out from your pocket and swiping over till sanzu’s number appears and you press the call button, “what if i had plans?” you listen to sanzu drop a laugh into the speaker, “better cancel then, you need to be taken out on a proper date.”

you can’t help but smile, noises of loud pops muffle in the background while sanzu tries to let another smooth complement drift in the phone, “i’ll pick you up at your apartment, i can’t wait to see you angel” sanzu clears his throat, and hangs up the phone.

rather than dread coating your brain you feel happiness fill the void, quickly putting your phone away but not before bumping face first into another obstacle.

“ran” you look up to meet his violet eyes, “and i was just about to ask you out on a date” he chuckles, squinting his eyes when he sees the flowers in your hand. “flowers too? god, that’s so romantic” ran rolls his eyes, placing a hand on the bookcase.

“do you know people usually soften a blow before it comes full force?” ran takes his hand and toys with the petals on the bouquet. “what are you implying?” you snap back, jerking the flowers away from him.

“you’re tied to sanzu because obviously he’s your first love, took your virginity but is that all? has he given you anything besides heartbreak?” ran looks down at you, and it almost feels like he’s jealous but amiable coats his orbs.

“you don’t know anything about him but the bad, sanzu is—” you pause, gripping the flowers while you think—what truly is so good about sanzu besides what you were tied to with him, he’s treating you like gold now but any greedy man will drop what’s in sight for something so pretty and new.

sanzu has one hand on the wheel while he lays the other on your exposed thigh, swiping a small circle on the bare skin, smiling when you try stealing glances at his tight black suit, pressed tightly and sweetly to his body.

“how was your day?” sanzu asks, squeezing your leg, “it was fine” you reply, thoughts of what ran said earlier still lingering in your mind. “how was your day haru?” sanzu’s heart jumps at the nickname, he smiles shyly “dirty work but somebody gotta do it.”

with the car slowly drawing speed you remain quiet with his words, seeing the building closer in your vision and sanzu lifting his palm from your thigh to grab the wheel with both hands.

“we’re here angel” sanzu pulls the car towards the valet, swiftly jumping from the car and tossing the keys to the person and swatting their hands away so he can open your door and let his hand be your leverage out of the car.

your eyes raise to the towering building, structure reaching the darkened clouds and decorated with dwindling lights and soft jazz blurring through the air.

sanzu rests a hand on your lower back while he guides you into the restaurant, gently leading you to a table tucked in the corner of the building, pulling your chair out and him sitting across from you once you’re seated.

“it’s beautiful here” you smile, picking up the menu and skimming over it, sanzu hums back in response once you’ve decided, sanzu recites to the waiter his order and yours.

sanzu gathers your fingers in his hands “i’m so happy you’re here with me” he brings your fingers to his lips, peppering your knuckles, “i feel complete, angel.”

“i’m glad to be here haru, it means a lot to me” you move his hands towards your mouth and pop a sloppy kiss on his fingers, sanzu scowls before releasing a smile. “makes me think of the future with you, it’s so clear now—marriage and kids, you know, the works” he grins, scarred lips curling.

ran’s words crawl into your mind and you think maybe now it’s time to settle the lingering thoughts, “sanzu, is this more than clinging onto the past? do you really want something more or are you just wanting to clear your conscience?”

sanzu’s eyes widen, releasing your fingers and using his own as a steeple under his chin, “i want you, your flaws, troubles, love—i want it all, i will die, kill and fight to have you. i don’t want anything else is this world but you.”

“i just don’t want you to hurt me, haru” you whisper, grabbing his hands and pulling them back to your face, “promise me this time, i want to give you a second chance but there needs to be trust.” sanzu cups your cheek, leaning over the table to brush his lips across yours, “i promise, i fucking promise” he whispers out.

throughout dinner, words were exchanged and laughs shared between the both of you, sanzu’s cheeks burned from your teasing and you couldn’t stop smiling when sanzu brought up anything involving being with you.

after paying for the bill sanzu held his chin with one hand watching you check your phone, “time for me to take you home, princess?” he asks, and sanzu doesn’t want today to end, dread dwelling in his stomach as he waits for you to answer him.

“yeah haru, take me to your house” you smile back at him, and sanzu silently thanks the gods above because fuck—his prayers are answered but why is he suddenly so nervous about it?

sanzu’s house was what you expected— minimal furniture, bare walls and dust collected in obvious places, your eyes stayed glued to the guns collected in the corner and what was assumed a katana placed beside his bed.

you made your way to the item, looking over the blade sticking out slightly but your attention easily caught by the glimmers of cars casted through his window, opening the blinds you’re met with the city lights and the moonlight smeared into the night sky.

a warm set of arms drape over you, “if ya squint, you can see where that abandoned building was” sanzu whispers, his lips pressing a gentle kiss against your ear, moving within his arms you connect your fingers on the nape of sanzu’s neck.

“no matter how much i tried to run away from you, memories of us always were here to remind me” sanzu leans closer in, his lips curving upwards into a serene smile. “maybe we were always meant to be” sanzu captures your lips after the words drift from your mouth, his hands rising from his body and finding a place on your hips.

sanzu presses his lithe fingers into the flesh, lips melting while he dips his tongue into your mouth, warm muscle flicking inside and running along your bottom lip, and it deepens—blossoming into gasps for air until you’re back on him, subtle groans escaping his lips and before sanzu can’t help letting the thought trace his mind he pulls away, breathless.

“i want you, i want you so fucking bad” sanzu cups your cheeks, boring his turquoise opals into your faded eyes, “but if you want to stop, tell me” he adds, placing a soft kiss on your forehead and you lean up on your toes to brush your nose on his, “i want you haru, i want all of you.”

everything feels like slow motion, sanzu guiding you to the bed with his lips pressed against your neck, hands clawing off your clothes while he slowly starts to undress himself. his skin feels so warm under your fingertips, tracing them up his toned stomach while he stands above you from the bed.

he’s grown older, his body morphed into a stronger build, skin littered with scars and he’s filled out in all the right places—sanzu takes a finger and tilts your chin up to him, “been so long but you still look so beautiful” he whispers, glossing his eyes back down to your body.

you had only your arms to cover your bare body now, sanzu with just his briefs on and that corrupted smile sewn to his cheeks. hooking two fingers under the material you drop them down to his feet and eyes enlarging at the sight, “i-i don’t remember you being this big” you mumble, gripping his warm length in your hands.

“you used to take it like a champ too” he sneers, you roll your wrists squeezing at the head, “still so sensitive i see” you taunt back, fisting his cock and watching sanzu bite his bottom lip. “i only do this when you touch me” sanzu cards his fingers through his rosy locks, tints of red clouding his cheeks, “i usually just—” sanzu hisses when you fist him harder, smiling when he can’t keep a sentence straight.

“what was that haru?” you poke back, sanzu crawls over you on the bed, making you tilt back into the bed until your head hits against the pillows, “i just fuck, nothing else but with you—i want it all.”

sanzu spreads your legs with one larger palm, running his fingers across your inner thigh as his lips find placement on your tits, tongue swirling on the bud. your hands threading through his hair, tugging and pulling sanzu harder on your chest while he dips two fingers in your hole.

“oh” he groans, pulling them out with your slick dripping from the digits, “i don’t know how long i’m gonna last—i’ve forgotten how fuckin’ tight you are.” your lungs are bleeding dry, his fingers shoved back in your hole and sanzu moves with vigor, curling against your spongy walls and pulling out just to see how wet you are on his fingers before he rams them back in.

“haru, god” you moan out, feeling as if you’re on fire with his tongue placed neatly on your tits and flicking his tongue on your nipple, smiling against your chest when you begin shaking and he remembers, you’re so close.

“yeah? i’m not like i used to be, i know what i’m doing now, angel and i bet you’re about to cum” sanzu lifts his eyes up to watch your back arch, legs clamping against his wrist and just like a scorching fire you're pulling the oxygen from the room and exploding into a rupture of flames.

sanzu reminds you of his old self climbing over you completely, both hands planted beside your face, his lashes coated over his eyes, lips parted and body moving closer to push himself inside you and it's a constant reminder when he begins moving, hips rolling and the way his cock always—always dragged against your deepest parts.

but what’s different now is that his eyes are no longer lost, a smile shining brighter when you look at him and his body isn’t distant but molded right to your form, “i love you” he whispers in your ear, kissing you cheek right after the words.

“you don’t have to say it back, i just wanted you to know” sanzu wraps his arms around your body, pulling you closer as his hips pick up speed, reeling back just enough to thrust back harder inside of you.

sanzu arms are so tightly sewed to your body, with every ounce of his pace quickening he’s holding you closer, gasps and moans caught in his throat while sanzu feels warmth pooling in his gut, he lifts his body just enough to linger his hand down to your connected bodies, finding your puffy clit and gently circling it.

“kiss me while you cum” sanzu raises his head from staying grounded in your neck to your face, lips pressed tightly to your own as he feels your juices coating his cock and dripping down to the sheets, wincing while sanzu ignores his own orgasm fluttering through his length.

sanzu tries to hold back but it’s impossible at the tight hold you have on his cock, finally letting go he paints your walls with his thick cum, the amount overflowing from your clenching hole, you’re left searching for him, nails gripping his back and pulling sanzu back close to your chest.

“haru, i-i lo—” you pause to watch his eyes gather tears, smiling back at you with his hands cupping your face, “i’ve waited five years for you, i’ll wait five more—take your time because i’ll always be here.”

your eyes are closed but you’re wide awake, cheeks hurting from the laughter filling sanzu’s room, his fingers pulling strands of hair from your face and tucking behind your ear.

and you’ve said goodnight over and over but you couldn’t stop just for one second stop talking to him. even in the darkness you see his smile crossing to his eyes, crinkling from another snicker coming from him.

“haru i’m really going to sleep this time” you smile, pressing your face further in his chest and sanzu hums, tracing a pattern on your back and letting silence fill the air until finally he feels your chest starting to settle a soft rhythm.

“i always tired you out so easily” sanzu chuckles, laying his head on your hair and sighing, “thank you for giving me another chance, i know this was hard for you but i promise i’ll never leave again.”

sanzu waits for you to answer but your snores are his subtle answer for now, “you’re my everything, everything i’ve ever wanted.” sanzu flutters his lashes close, sleep invaded the corners of his eyes and he starts dozing off.

“i love you so much, haru” you whisper out in his chest, smiling when sanzu remains silent this time and an added grin to your lips when you had to fake sleep to hear sanzu pour his heart out.

tagging — @wakasagurl @ranilingus @eriskaitto @sunarinluvv @shinichirosupremacy @harunoia @chronic-claire-universe @miyuuuuuposts @hanmasgf @haitanihime @rinzis @thee-satoru @somniari-94 @materiaheart @downbadfor2dmen @wack0-genius @kuromochimi @wakasa-wifey @sanzuharuchiyoswife @izanasqueen @toyomitsus @yunxbin @misinfe @mvkimas @yut-aa-a @meena-in-a-nutshell @sanzuswh0re @manjiroscum @hirwishin @azazelkim @snoopysxng @purrienee @thesimpsclub @miytsuya @4k0taro @chieeeeeee @aathenax @inoopie @yukihime-mikeys-girl @somerandompipzsxh

#tokyo revengers smut #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyorev x reader #tokyorev smut #tokrev x reader #tokrev smut #sanzu x reader #sanzu smut #haruchiyo sanzu x reader #haruchiyo sanzu smut #sanzu haruchiyo smut #sanzu haruchiyo x reader #sanzu x y/n #sanzu x you

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i-cant-sing · 3 years

Note

I know requests are closed so this isn’t a request I just had an idea based off an ask you got about hawks and the Todoroki clan. What if the reader escaped from yandere Todoroki clan (Dabi scared the reader/took it too far with the threats, or because endeavor and the brothers had a fight and the reader got scared)and they ran into hawks, crying and panicked thinking that he would help. But hawks recognizes them from the pictures in endeavors desk and offers them a lift to somewhere safe. Only for hawks to fly the reader back to the Todoroki estate where the whole family is waiting for them.

The reader feels hurt and betrayed and everyone is angry, but hawks being hawks tries to diffuse the situation by saying,”stop scaring the poor kid. They came to me scared out of their mind, but being the outstanding godfather that I am, I made sure to bring them back safely.” (Or something like that)

And endeavor just accepts that hawks claimed himself as the readers godfather, and tells the reader to get inside and to clean up.

So now hawks takes it upon himself to hang around the estate more to fulfill his “godfather” duties, spoiling the reader as much as he can.

Yandere Godfather Hawks x Todoroki clan reader

I was going to write boyfriend Hawks, instead of Godfather Hawks but this was just too good. I kinda thought that the age gap between Hawks and reader would be too much so maybe Godfather would be a better role for him, but the chaos that would follow if they find him dating reader would be just *chef's kiss*. I think I just might write bf Hawks too. Let me know what you guys think.

Anyways, enjoy!

Check out my MASTERLIST here!

Yandere Hawks:

You didn't know how long you had been running for. You didn't know how far you had gotten away from their house. You didn't even know where you were going, to be honest. But you did know that you had to get away from there as far as you could.

Sure, you only had a few hours headstart. But for them, the most powerful family in Japan, this wasn’t enough time for you.

You had planned your escape with their schedule in mind.

Enji would come home from his office at 9pm; he used to return at 11, but ever since you were kidnapped adopted by them, he tries to come home early.

Natsuo had already visited you during the day. He habitually comes after his shift at the hospital. Once he would check you over for any injuries and be satisfied with your overall health, he would join you, Rei and Fuyumi for a quick lunch before leaving.

Usually, you would spend the day with Rei, Fuyumi and Shotou, then Enji would come by the time dinner was served. And once everyone went to sleep, Dabi would come to visit you around 2 am. He would tap on your window and disturb you from your sleep, but its not like you have any engagements in the morning anyways. Once you would let him in, he would talk to you and maybe watch a movie too. If he's pissed, he might "accidentally" leave a burn mark on your arm (and you've tried asking your family for help, but they wouldn't do anything. Natsuo would just bandage you up, while Shotou would comfort you. Besides, you've learned not to snitch on Dabi because he would even get angrier than before.)

That was your routine ever since they had took you, almost 7 months ago. Well, they had actually adopted you an year ago, and everything was going well. But then you started noticing their odd behaviour. You thought they were just being protective of you at first, but as time went on, their obsessive tendencies and no regard for your personal boundaries started weirding you out.

Then one day, they just stopped letting you out of the house. No matter how much you cried, begged or fought, they just wouldn't let you go outside, telling that you its for your own good.

At first, they would use cuffs to keep you bound since you fought so much. But then you started behaving, and they slowly started trusting you more and stopped putting on the restraints.

What they didn't know was that you were just biding your time, waiting for the perfect opportunity to escape. Like today.

Shotou had to go to his friend's house to work on a school project, so he wasn't able to join you at lunch today and would be coming home late.

After lunch, once Natsuo had left, you asked Fuyumi if she could go to the mall and buy you some books. You had been complaining to her about your boredom for quite sometime now, so she agreed and left to go shop for you.

So that only left you with Rei in the house. And while she had a weaker quirk than the rest of the family, your quirkless self was no match for her either.

But she was easier to fool. You told Rei that you were going to take a nap in your room and to call you when dinner was ready. Rei nodded before going to the kitchen to start preparing for dinner.

You went to your room and opened the window to get out. It used to be bolted shut but after months of working on it slowly but stealthily, you had managed to pop it open. It was 6, and you were sure Fuyumi and Shotou would be coming home by 7, so without having anytime to pack, you ran.

It was stupid. You should've at least gotten your coat and shoes on, but there was no guarantee a chance like this would appear again, so you left without them.

You kind of regret it now, as you winced in pain at all the rocks and twigs pressing into your bare feet. You shivered in the cold, which didn't bother you at first because of the adrenaline pumping through your veins, but now as you slid against a dumpster in an alley to give a break to your legs, you wished Rei could've given you some proper clothes, instead of the light, pastel pink dress. In her defence, the house was centrally heated during winters so you didn't really need warm clothes inside the house. But now, looking at the dark clouds forming in the sky, you wished she could've at least given you a sweater.

It had soon started raining, and the wind had picked up as well. Shivering, you decided to stay put by the dumpster and wait until it stopped. It would be easier for them to find you if you ran now because the streets will be empty because of the rain. And its not like you could go to a police station either. How will you explain to them that the no.1 hero had kidnapped you?

Sighing, you closed your eyes. You just have to vanish from their eyes until they give up on you, or at least find someone else to replace you.

Hawks was flying home when it had begun raining. Tutting, he flew back to the ground to walk his way home. It was dangerous to fly during the rain; his feathers would get heavy and weigh him down.

As he was walking, whistling to himself, he heard someone whimper in the alley to his left. He walked in the dark alley, bracing himself for any sudden movements. The little whimpers came from near the dumpster. The alley had no light, so he couldn't see much. He walked closer to the source of whimpers and he could make out a silhouette of a shivering girl, who was completely drenched. Her eyes were closed so she hadn't noticed Hawks yet.

He took a step closer. "Hey. You okay?" As soon Hawks voice reached her ears, she snapped her eyes open and backed away from him. Hawks backed up a bit, raising his hands in surrender. "Its okay. I'm a hero." He said, calmly.

Once she seemed recognise him, or at least realise he wasn't dangerous, she relaxed a bit. "What are you doing in the rain?"he asked. She paused for a bit, before replying in a tiny voice,"none of your business." Hawks smiled. "It kinda is. Now you can either tell me, or I can take you to the cops and you can tell them. What's it gonna be?"

Your breath hitched at his question. If he takes you to the cops, Enji will surely find you, and the punishment that will be waiting for you...you didn't even want to think about it. "I'm just...running." you mumbled, hoping he would leave you alone. "From who?" When you didn't reply, he sighed. "Okay. Can you tell me why you're running?"

You thought for a bit. Would he believe if you told him the truth? You knew he was close friends with Enji and you heard from Enji that he was very loyal to him, so you doubted that he would believe you if you told him the no. 1 hero had been holding you hostage for 7 months. But maybe he could help you. If you just tell him that someone's after you, then maybe he could drop you off somewhere safe?

Gulping, you answered. "I- I was kidnapped. And they've probably noticed that I'm missing now and- and I need to hide before they can find me. I can't, I can't go back there-" your voice broke down as you slowly started crying.

Hawks's eyes widened as he heard you confess. He hugged you, rubbing your back soothingly. "Shh, its okay. I'm here now. Tell me who it is." You shook your head no. "Don’t be afraid. I'll keep you safe. Just tell me who-" "No!"you cut him off, realising that you would be putting his life in danger if you told him the truth. The Todorokis have done it before, with your old family and friends; you have no doubt that they will do it again.

Hawks was taken aback by your outburst. Who were you so afraid of? Was it a crazy ex? Or a family member? Maybe you had gotten in trouble with the wrong crowd? Whoever it was, fear was evident in your voice. He had to help you.

"Okay. I'm sorry. How about we get out of the rain? Maybe to a cafe, where we can get a coffee to warm ourselves up?" He asked you again, trying to look at your face in the dark. You shook your head again, before speaking. "Could you- could you just get me out of this city? Or at least as far away from here as possible?"

Who were you so scared of that you wanted to leave the city? He could investigate that later, but first he needed to get you out of the rain.

He nodded. "Alright. It should stop raining anytime now, so I can't fly you out right now. How about we walk to my apartment and warm ourselves and then, I could take you anywhere you want?"

This was the best you were going to get. You know you need to leave the city right now, but he was your only chance of leaving. So you agreed. Hawks smiled at that. "Can you walk?"he asked you. You nodded, but as soon as you took a step, you yelped in pain, almost falling down. Thankfully, Hakws was near to catch you. He laughed. Noticing your chattering teeth, he gave you his jacket. "You're going to catch a cold." Once you had worn his big, warm jacket, he lifted you up into his arms and started walking out of the alley and towards his home.

As he got out of the alley, the street lights finally illuminated your face.

You looked familiar, like he'd seen you before, but he can't seem to remember where he saw you. His eyes scanned your face. Your brows were furrowed in worry, and you kept looking over his shoulder. You looked scared, almost like a child. Looking down, he noticed your pink dress was completely ruined. He moved his gaze to your feet. They were bleeding, due to the stones, twigs and broken glass that had pierced them. Your legs had tiny burns, some had faded, others looked still fresh.

Were you being abused? Is that why you're running? He wanted to ask you these questions but he knew he had to wait for you to open up.

"Thank you."your tiny voice brought him back to reality. Hawks gave his famous heroic smile. "No problem." You gave a tiny smile of your own. It was kind. "Why do you keep looking back?"he asked you. Your eyes widened slightly, looking like a kid who got caught stealing cookies. "Are you worried about them taking you away again?"he asked, not really sure who he was referring to. You started tearing up again. Your lips wobbled as you slowly nodded your head. He stopped walking, causing you to look up to him. "Its okay. I promise I'll never let anyone hurt you again. I promise." His voice held such sincerity, you started crying into his chest as you kept on thanking him.

Hawks meant every word. He's going to make sure nobody ever lays a finger on you. How could anyone harm such a sweet thing like you?

He rubbed your shoulder with one hand to calm you down. Once you had stopped crying, he spoke again. "Hey, look. It stopped raining." You looked up and he was right; the sky had cleared up. "Well, are you ready to fly?" You smiled slightly before nodding. He told you to hold on to him tightly, and you buried your face into his chest before he took off.

Once you guys were in the air, Hawks told you to open your eyes. You did and the view was breathtaking. Tall buildings and sky scrapers were all over the city, and tiny lights from cars and street lamps looked like stars. It looked like a scene from an anime. Really pretty.

"Wow."you finally said. Hawks chuckled at that. Your looked like you just saw Santa. So adorable.

"I'm glad you like it."he said, as he started flying towards his home. You smiled. "Hey! You never told me your name."he said, mocking fake surprise.

You giggled at that. "I'm Y/n."

And just like that, Hawks finally remembered where he had seen you.

A year ago Endeavour had asked him to find everything he can on this one particular girl. Hawks thought that maybe you were linked to some case, but your records were clean, so he thought that maybe Enji was just looking for someone for Shotou. Hawks thought it was weird when you suddenly disappeared from the public eye a month later. He tried to ask Enji about you but he would just brush him off, telling him he had mistook you for someone else. It was odd, but Hawks eventually let go of it.

Wait. Does that mean Enji had been hurting you? No, that can't be it. Enji had been working with him on a lot of missions abroad, and the burn marks on your legs were rather fresh.

"Whats wrong?"your soft voice brought him out of his thoughts. "Hmm? Oh nothing. Why do you ask?"Hawks faked a smile. You stared at him. Something was off. "Nothing. Its just you were lost in your thoughts, I guess."

Hawks laughed at that. "You’re really observant, aren't you?" Deciding to test out his theory, he continued. "Well, you're right. I was thinking about a work colleague. You might've heard of him. Endeavour, hm?"

At the sound of his name, you stiffened, confirming his suspicion. You were connected to him somehow. Hawks didn't know how, but he was going to figure it out. "Um, y-yeah. He's the no.1 h- hero, right?"the fear in your voice had returned, although you were trying hard to hide it.

Hawks nodded. "Yeah!" He had to find out how you were linked to Enji. Suddenly, he turned around and started flying back where you guys had started.

"W-what are you doing? Why are we going back?"you asked him. He looked down at you and replied, "we need to get bandages for your wounds. Otherwise your feet will get infected." You nodded. "Oh. Okay." With that you closed your eyes to prevent them from drying against the wind.

After maybe half an hour or so, you opened your eyes to look where you guys were flying to. You looked down and to your horror, saw a familiar house coming up. You looked at Hawks and he seemed to know what you were thinking. "We're going down there."he nodded his head towards the Todoroki estate. Your eyes grew wide, and your body started trembling. "No! No! We- we can't! We can't go there!" You started shaking your head. "And why not?"Hawks stopped flying towards the estate, simply flapping his wings to remain in the air. You just shook your head. "We can't. I can't. Just drop me off somewhere else. I'll be fine on my own." Hawks wanted to know the real reason. He frowned. "Tell me the truth right now or I'll take you down there this instant."

You gulped, his eyes were showing that he wasn't bluffing. Your eyes started to glisten with unshed tears as you finally told him the truth. You told him everything; about how Enji had kidnapped you, how he got rid of your real family, how he and Rei had tried to keep you a secret from everyone, how their kids found out about you but instead of helping you out, became attached to you just like their parents, about how the famous villian Dabi was Enji's son and how he would sometimes burn you. By the time you were done, tears were flowing down your cheeks as Hawks tried to process what you had just confessed to him.

"Do you trust me?"he suddenly asked you. You looked at him confused. "What?" He repeated again. "Do you trust me?" Did you? Honestly, not that much, but he was the only one who was going to help you so you slowly nodded. "Yes?" Not really sure of it yourself but Hawks accepted the answer anyways. "Good." As soon as he said that, he started flying again, towards the house. You started thrashing in his arms again. "No! You said you wouldn't take me back here! You said you wouldn't!"you were full on sobbing against him, trying to wring yourself free from his vice grip, but Hawks was neither listening nor relenting his tight hold on you.

You looked down and that's when you saw them. Enji, Rei, all of them, were standing in the garden looking at you and Hawks. Even Dabi was there. Rei must've panicked and called everyone. And from the look on his- everyone's face, you could tell you were in deep trouble.

You thrashed in Hawks arms, begging him to fly away, but he didn't listen to you at all.

Once you reached the ground, you didn't pull your head out of Hawk's chest. You don't want to see their rage or the punishments they have planned for you.

"Hey, Endeavour!" Hawks broke the silence first. "Mrs Todoroki. Kids." He nodded towards them. "Hawks. Who do you have there?"Enji asked, pretending as if he doesn't know you. Hawks laughed. "You don't have to pretend! I know everything." At this, Dabi activated his quirk, ready to cremate him but was stopped by Shotou.

Thinking that this was some sort of blackmail, Enji asked, "What do you want? Money?"

Hawks smirked. "Nope! Look, I know you kidnapped her and all but you are providing her a good life, right?" He paused to look at them. Everyone nodded. He continued. "And you're just keeping her home to protect her from harm?" Again, everyone nodded. "But she still managed to escape you all even though she's quirkless and you all are not."

"Get to the fucking point."Dabi said impatiently.

Hawks sighed. "Clearly, you need all the help you can get. You need me. I can help you help her keep safe and healthy!" He paused, before his eyes lit up. "I can't have my goddaughter getting hurt again." Everyone looked at him weirdly. Goddaughter?

"How about you hand her over and you'll still be able to fly." Dabi threatened, blue flames engulfing his hands. Hawks laughed again. He was right. It wasn't Enji who giving you those nasty burns, it was Dabi. "If something happens to me, I have enough evidence gathered against you" he pointed to Dabi, "and then cops will get involved and maybe take away Y/n away."

The threat of someone taking you away from them, made their heart drop. Rei, who had been previously sobbing, put a hand on Dabi's shoulder, telling him to calm down.

Hawks grinned at Enji, raising his eyebrows. "So what will it be, Endeavour?"

Enji understood the ultimatum Hawks was giving him. Either let him in the family or risk losing you to the authorities. And he knew Hawks wasn't one to make empty threats.

Enji's eyes snapped to you. You were trying to bury yourself into Hawks chest, trying to hide from them. He wasn't that mad at you for running, more worried if anything. Had his family really spooked you that much? He'll have to worry about that later. First he needs to get you back into his and Rei's arms.

Enji sighed, before nodding. "Fine. We'll do it your way."

Hawks beamed at that. "Great!" He was glad that Enji had accepted. "Now, you need to take Y/n in before she catches a cold; although I'm certain she already has. Oh and tend to her bloody feet too! Poor thing was just running around barefoot." He chuckled. Shotou moved forward to take you from Hawks but you clung tightly to Hawks shoulders.

"Please. Please. Just take me out of here. Please." You whispered to him, fresh tears pricking your eyes now.

You looked so scared. Your eyes were saucer wide, nose red from cold and cheeks flush. Fear. That was were you emitting. But the longer he looked at your face, he found something else too. Hope. Innocence. Naivety. And while fear was the predominant emotion, the latter were the ones that he wanted to protect. "Hawks." Enji's voice broke him out from his trance. Hawks smiled. Addressing you, he started rubbing soothing circles to your back. "Hey. Hey. Its okay, princess." You kept on crying, your eyes begging him to whisk you away anywhere but here. You looked so much like him when he was little. So afraid. "Listen, do you remember what I promised you?" You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. You're so endearing. "I promised you that I'll never let anyone hurt you again, didn't I?" You nodded slowly. "I intent on keep that promise, dove. Infact I'll talk to your dad tonight! But you need to go in and take warm bath. I don't want you getting sick, okay?"

You had seemed to calm down as you slowly nodded and let him hand you over to Shotou, who quickly ushered you in, with Natsuo, Rei and Fuyumi quickly following behind, leaving Hawks with Dabi and Enji.

"Lets go to your office, Endeavour! I have to go over some details as Y/n's new godfather." Enji nodded and went inside to go to his home office. Hawks was about to follow but was stopped by Dabi. "What game are you playing, you freak?"

Hawks chuckled, before swiftly pulling out a very sharp feather and pressing it against Dabi's jugular. "I'm just here to make sure that no one hurts Y/n again. And if I see another scorch mark on her, I'll find you and carve your skin into ribbons."

I will be accepting requests and asks for godfather hawks and Todoroki clan!

Oh and don't worry, I'm working on part 2 of rei hurting the reader. It'll be done soon! :)

2K notes · View notes

queenshelby · 3 years

Text

The Singer – Part Two

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Words: 7,970

Warning: Lots of Smut, Some Swearing

Tag List (Cillian):

@lilymurphy03 @deefigs @theflamecrystal @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall @elenavampire21 @hanster1998 @mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-my-sunflower @zozeebo @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa @littlewierdalien @sad-huffle-nerd @theflamecrystal @peakymalfoyscullymulder @themissthang @0ghostwriter0 @stylescanbeatmyback @1-800-peakyblinders @datewithgianni @momoneymolife @ntmynouis @lilymurphy03 @mcntsee @cloudofdisney @missymurphy1985 @peakymalfoyscullymulder @otterly-fey

Cannot Tag (please check your settings):

@l0tsofpennies @margoo0 @trolleydolly @avonlady1985 @chrisevanshoeee @daydreamingnymph @fookingshelby @chocolatehalo

***Drinks and Secrets***

Seven days after your last encounter with Kurt, you finally had his desk delivered back to his office which was located at the Dublin theatre and music district at the back building of a large venue.

Next to his office were several recording studios which meant that, whilst you were recording your new album, you saw him more frequently than you would have hoped.

In addition to working on your new album, you were working on an advertising campaign for the upcoming arts and music festival. As part of this campaign, you were recording a song with Amanda and another Dublin artist named Jeremy who gained a lot of popularity lately.

He was a nice man, in his late thirties who had a lot to offer. He played several instruments and it was easy to work with him and Amanda, at least until Amanda tried to organise a date between you and Jeremy.

She told you about it over some drinks on a Friday afternoon following a day at the recording studio.

‘I have two tickets to see the new play at the Abbey. I was going to see it with Cillian but, since we broke up, this isn’t going to happen. I thought that, perhaps, you could go with Jeremy’ Amanda said with a big grin on her face as she handed you a pint of Guinness.

‘Jeremy? Why would I go with Jeremy?’ you laughed, somewhat surprised by Amanda’s suggestion.

‘He is handsome, a real gentleman, funny and defiantly not a douche like Kurt. Despite, you said that you liked older and more mature guys’ Amanda laughed.

‘Well, perhaps you should ask him out yourself then?’ you giggled, causing Amanda to sigh.

‘I am not ready to date anyone Y/N. In fact, I don’t know if I am over Cillian yet’ Amanda said somewhat disappointed, causing you to take in a deep breath as you thought about your recent encounter with Cillian.

You were overrun with guilt as Amanda continued on, talking about her breakup with Cillian. You knew that you shouldn’t have slept with him, but then again, you didn’t know that you and Amanda would be working together again until three days ago when one of the other musicians dropped out of the project.

‘So, do you think you will give it another chance?’ you asked curiously.

‘I don’t think so. I think he made up his mind. To be honest, I don’t know if I still have feelings for him or if I just miss the sex’ Amanda laughed just before she ordered another drink.

‘Right…that good, eh?’ you said as your face turned red almost immediately. Of course, you knew the answer to your own question.

‘That’s probably too much information, I am sorry. The beer is getting to my head’ Amanda said with some embarrassment.

‘It’s fine, seriously’ you responded before telling Amanda a little bit about your relationship with Kurt.

In turn, after Amanda had more beers, you learned that Cillian liked to take control in the bedroom and you weren’t surprised about this in the slightest, thinking back to the night at your apartment where he took you over Kurt’s study desk. The same study desk that was now in Kurt’s office once again. The thought of it made you giggle internally.

But then, the conversation changed and became more serious when Amanda told you the real reasons behind their recent break up. She believed that she was at fault, pushing him away slowly over time with her jealousy and trust issues, trying to prevent him from socialising and leaving him no space for himself. She accused him of cheating several times but later found out that there was nothing behind the rumours. Cillian eventually had enough of her antics and broke it off again.

‘Oh my god, I am sorry. I usually don’t drink’ Amanda said as she observed your facial expression when she continued to talk about Cillian. She was certainly more direct and open about her sex life than you had hoped.

‘I think I should get you home’ you said with a warm smile, feeling a sense of responsibility, and Amanda nodded in agreement.

Since you only had two beers over two hours, unlike Amanda who had at least six or seven, maybe more, you were still able to drive and you helped Amanda to your car, hoping that press wouldn’t notice her state. After all, she had quite a following herself.

Twenty minutes later, you pulled up in front of Cillian’s house which was where she was still living at the time as the settlement of her property was delayed.

Supporting her, you walked towards the front door and rang the doorbell. Within a minute, Cillian opened and couldn’t believe his own eyes when he saw you with his completely drunk ex-girlfriend.

‘Hi’ Cillian said somewhat surprised as he took hold of Amanda. She barely managed to walk by herself.

‘Hi’ you said, your eyes avoiding his.

‘Uhm, thank you…’ Cillian chuckled, not knowing what else to say to you, before asking you whether you wanted to come inside.

‘I would love to use your bathroom, if I could’ you laughed as you had to pull over earlier when Amanda got sick and your clothes smelled like vomit.

‘Sure, common in’ Cillian said just before he pointed you to the bathroom and helped Amanda getting out of her vomit-stained clothes.

You left the bathroom door open slightly as you cleaned yourself up and observed Cillian getting a bucket from the laundry before telling Amanda to have a rest.

After he helped her to lie down, placing the bucket next to the bed, he came into the bathroom to speak to you. He left the bedroom door open slightly so that he could hear if Amanda was getting sick, worried that she might miss the bucket in her state.

‘What happened? It’s only 6 o’clock’ Cillian asked almost amused.

‘She just kept drinking Cilly…I don’t know’ you said with a chuckle as you tried to wash the vomit out of your expensive vintage blouse.

‘Beer?’ he asked curiously, causing you to nod.

‘Fuck. I am in for an interesting evening then’ Cillian said somewhat irritated, causing you to laugh out loud.

‘So am I because I meant to see my sister and her husband for dinner at 7 o’clock and I smell like puke now’ you giggled, seeing the humour in all of this.

‘Have a shower here. I will get you a clean t-shirt’ Cillian suggested and you accepted his offer gratefully.

A minute later, Cillian gave you a towel and one of his black t-shirts. You closed the bathroom door behind you and got undressed.

When you stepped into the shower, you were slightly confused by all of the buttons. You never saw anything quite like this. You pressed one of the buttons and nothing happened. Then you pressed the next and, finally, water came rushing out from the top like waterfall but, it was cold.

‘Dammit’ you said loudly as the cold water came rushing down over your body, barely managing to wash away the little bit of soap you had placed on your chest and breasts earlier.

‘Having problems with the shower?’ Cillian asked from outside the bathroom door a few seconds after he heard you yell.

‘There is no hot water’ you said as you stepped out of the shower, wrapped the towel around you and opened the door.

Cillian stepped inside, gazing over your semi naked body for a second or two, before turning on the shower for you.

‘Wow, that’s high tech’ you giggled as you stood right next to Cillian, his body awfully close to yours.

‘Isn’t that usually how you young people roll?’ Cillian chuckled, causing you to give him a slight nudge and, in the process of it, loosing hold of your towel on one side.

Cillian noticed immediately and his jaw dropped as he drew a deep breath.

‘Cillian?’ you whispered as you noticed him looking at the ceiling, purposely trying to avoid eye contact with you.

‘Yeah’ he said with a low voice as he looked back at you but, instead of saying anything else to him, you pressed your lips onto his tentatively.

Cillian gave into the kiss and parted your lips with his slightly, allowing him to slip his tongue into your mouth in order to meet yours.

Your hands reached for his cheeks and the back of his head while your towel dropped to the floor.

‘We shouldn’t be doing this Y/N’ Cillian whispered as your lips drifted apart after what seemed like an eternity.

‘No, we shouldn’t’ you responded despite the fact that you wanted him, right then and there.

But, his lips landed on yours again almost instantly, ignoring the interfering thoughts in your heads.

As you were kissing, Cillian’s hand wandered over the back of your body and then in between you, immediately finding your wet mound.

You let out a low moan as his fingers began to gently massage your clit before one of his fingers dipped inside of you momentarily.

On your left upper thigh, you could feel his erection press against you, restricted by his tight and ripped jeans.

You pushed your mound against his hand as much as you could while he swallowed up your moans, continuing to kiss you passionately.

But, as he began to apply more pressure against your clit, you had to pull away from his mouth and moan escaped you.

His speed increased and you let your head fall forward against his chest and shoulder, taking in the scent of his aftershave and moaning into the thin black cotton of his t-shirt.

Your legs began to quiver within minutes and his magical fingers on your clit brought you over the edge fairly quickly.

You held onto Cillian, continuing to moan against his chest as your orgasm washed over you and he finally slowed down his movements.

‘Fuck’ you whispered as Cillian chuckled at the fact that he just made you cum within less than five minutes.

‘You should have a shower now or you’ll be late for dinner’ Cillian winked before pressing his lips onto yours again.

‘What about you?’ you asked quietly as you ran your hand over his crotch.

‘I better check on Amanda’ he said somewhat reluctantly before leaving you by yourself in the bathroom.

After a quick shower, you got dressed and returned to the living room where Cillian was sitting, watching a documentary.

When you approached him to give him a kiss, he pulled away.

‘We cannot keep doing this Y/N’ Cillian said quietly and it was obvious to you that he had been doing a lot of thinking while you were in the shower.

‘You are right’ you murmured, upset by his response.

‘Are we okay?’ he asked and you nodded.

‘Thanks for the shower’ you said a little upset before grabbing your keys and phone and returning to your car.

***Family***

Later that evening, at dinner with your sister and her husband, your sister asked you about your music projects and, of course, your love life.

She knew that you had separated from Kurt and, even though you called it a break, it was obvious to her and anyone from your family that this was final.

She was glad that it was over. Finally, you were free from him.

When she asked you if there was anyone else, you couldn’t help it but tell her about Cillian. But you didn’t tell her his name, nor did you tell her how you had met.

All that you told her was that there was a man who you had slept with and who you think you might like and this was the first time that you admitted your feelings for Cillian to yourself as well.

It felt strange to you as, initially, when you met Cillian, you couldn’t stand him but now that you got to know each other more intimately, this changed.

When you told your sister that he was 43, making him exactly twenty years older than you, her jaw dropped.

‘Forget about him Y/N. Honestly’ she told you, thinking that he was too old for you and the press would rip you to pieces about it, just as it happened with your ex-girlfriend which emotionally destroyed you at the time.

‘I’ve grown since then, emotionally and mentally and I cannot help it. His presence does something to me and, currently, I work with him all the time’ you said with a deep sigh.

‘Is he a musician?’ your sister asked curiously and you shook your head.

‘He’s an actor’ you admitted but went no further than that regardless of how much your sister was poking around, asking you for his name.

‘It doesn’t matter because it isn’t going anywhere with us and you are right, it’s probably better that way’ you said when she asked you for his name for the third time.

Your sister gave up eventually and, after several glasses of wine, you decided to stay at her house for the night before a big day at the studio finalising the schedule for the music festival.

The next morning, when you tried to start your car, the engine had stopped working. It was a brand-new car and you were extremely irritated and contacted the car dealer immediately.

The car dealer advised you that they couldn’t get the car in for repair until Monday and your sister luckily offered to drive you into Dublin city.

‘Do you have time for a coffee?’ she asked as she pulled up in front of the studio and nodded. You still had twenty minutes before your meeting with Cillian and Kurt.

You sat down at a booth table in the small café beneath the theatre and the waitress was quick to take your order and bring you some water.

‘The coffee here is really good’ you said to your sister but she seemed somewhat distant and unresponsive.

‘June? Are you with me?’ you chuckled and, suddenly she looked at you with wide open eyes and whispered ‘Cillian Murphy’.

‘What about him?’ you asked absolutely flustered.

‘Over there, at the counter’ your sister then whispered with excitement, causing you to take in a deep breath. He wasn’t the person who you wanted to see right at this moment, especially after what you told your sister last night.

‘He is my cheat pass’ your sister then said, causing you to inadvertently spit out some of the water in your mouth.

‘You are joking?’ you asked, causing your sister to shake her head and continue to stare at him.

‘I am going to say hello’ she said determined and you took her hand quickly and responded ‘no you are not’ which was when Cillian noticed you and walked over towards your table.

‘Morning Y/N’ he said with a smile before giving you a friendly kiss on the cheek.

‘Hi Cilly’ you said before introducing him to your sister with some embarrassment.

Your sister was quick to move to one side, indicating for Cillian to sit down next to her and he didn’t think anything of it and joined you both for coffees and a snack to eat.

The three of you engaged in some small talk and Cillian informed you that Kurt had called him earlier that day telling him that he was sick and wouldn’t be coming in.

You were glad about it in a way but it also meant that it was just you and Cillian working on the schedule which might be a problem after last night.

After you drank your coffees and engaged in some more conversation, each of you went your separate ways. Cillian and you had a days’ work ahead of you and your sister had to get back home.

A few minutes after you left the café, you got a test message from your sister. ‘Fuck he’s hot. Can you invite him for drinks with me or something’ it said and you couldn’t help but chuckle.

‘What’s so funny?’ Cillian asked as he observed your facial expressions and small giggles.

‘Nothing’ you responded before putting your phone away, ignoring your sister’s text message.

***Working Together***

The day went by quickly and you managed to be quite productive, finishing the schedule for the festival by 4 o’clock. There was no arguing anymore between you and Cillian and, with Kurt not being there, there was also no shouting.

As you were working together, you and Cillian kept your distance from each other, trying as hard as you could to stay focused and professional.

You sent the schedule off to Kurt for consideration and communication to the artists and Cillian offered you to drive you home after you told him about your car.

You agreed reluctantly as it was raining but all of your focus and professionalism went out of the window as soon as Cillian pulled up in front of your apartment.

‘Uhm, would you like to come up for a drink?’ you asked, knowing exactly that you shouldn’t have asked him that after last night.

‘I shouldn’t’ Cillian responded reluctantly. He knew he couldn’t get involved with you again. Another relationship was not what he wanted, especially not with someone as young as you.

‘I know, I shouldn’t have asked that. It’s fine. Thank you for driving me home. Have a good night’ you said before giving him a friendly kiss on his cheek before getting out of his car.

As you reached the front door of your apartment building and searched through your bag for the key, you heard the door of Cillian’s car close.

You looked back and saw Cillian approach you with a hesitant smile.

‘Changed your mind?’ you smirked as he walked up the pathway leading to the front door of your apartment block.

‘Yeah, I suppose’ Cillian smiled with his hands in his pockets like a shy schoolboy while he was waiting for you to open the door.

You finally found your key and you both took the elevator up to your apartment, keeping your distance from each other.

You opened the door to your apartment and Cillian followed you inside almost shyly, remaining standing in the doorway and asking ‘before I do anything stupid, it isn’t really a drink that you are after, right?’

‘No. In fact, all I’ve got is tap water’ you said almost embarrassed and, just after you did, you found yourself pinned against the wall and Cillian crashed his lips onto yours in a haste.

You parted your lips slightly, allowing his tongue to enter your mouth and explore yours in a passionate kiss.

With one foot, you pushed your apartment door closed behind you before you gave into the Cillian completely.

‘Not fire safety compliant’ Cillian murmured as your lips drifted apart, causing you to look at him with some confusion.

‘The door. It’s opening into the wrong direction’ Cillian chuckled, causing you to raise your eyebrows and start to laugh.

‘You are weird’ you chuckled before you pressed your lips back onto his, thinking why on earth he would have noticed this in the heat of the moment.

‘Coming from the woman with a Harry Potter tattoo beneath her left breast’ Cillian chuckled after your lips drifted apart again momentarily and he began to unbutton your mustard-coloured vintage shirt.

‘What can I say…I am magic’ you chuckled before you pulled him closer again for another kiss.

Each and every kiss was passionate and urgent, full of desire for each other.

‘Didn’t we say we wouldn’t do this again?’ you asked as your shirt landed on the floor.

‘You are the one who initiated it by asking me upstairs for a glass of tap water’ Cillian chuckled. ‘Do you want to stop?’ he then asked, causing you to shake your head and pull his t-shirt over his head exposing his bare chest.

‘Didn’t think so’ Cillian smirked before he trailed kisses over your breasts, which were still covered by a black lace bra, and then all the way down to your stomach. He dropped to his knees slowly while his lips explored your body and his hands began to fondle with the button and zipper of your jeans, pushing them down gently.

You let out a soft moan as his hands ran over the front of your treasure. His face was awfully close to your most intimate area and you could feel his hot breath on your wet mound, fanning through the lace of your panties.

With your jeans stuck over your ankles, Cillian pushed your legs apart with his hands as wide as he could.

‘Don’t move’ he instructed, causing you to take in a sharp inhale and, just as you did, he hooked the index fingers of both of his hands into the hem of your panties and pulled them down all the way to your ankles.

You wanted to push your legs together, feeling vulnerable now that he got such a close look at your wet mound. But, Cillian’s hands wouldn’t allow as he held your thighs in place while pushing you all the way back at the freshly painted wall of your apartment.

Cillian then moved to your inner thighs and his soft, wet tongue administered little licks, alternating with kisses, as he moved back and forth between your left and right thigh, ascending higher and higher as he did.

‘Hmm….fuck’ you moaned in anticipation, causing Cillian to smile against the flesh of your right thigh before looking up at you for a brief moment, his blue eyes meeting yours.

You bit your lip suggestively and then watched as that pink, wet, soft tongue of his slid out of his mouth in a flattened state and land on the right outer lip of your wet mound.

A loud moan escaped you as soon as his tongue moved closer towards your centre, giving your slit a very long, very slow, torturous lick.

You placed your hands on his head and ran your fingers through his hair as his tongue licked up and down before sinking it into your entrance once slightly, making you squirm.

‘Hold still’ he instructed as he pushed your thighs apart again with his hands.

With both outer lips equally swollen, you watched as he made his tongue pointed again, spreads your swollen outer lips and then licks both of your inner lips from back to front at the same time, sending shivers down your spine. He then ran his tongue over your clit hood and gently pulled the hood back, revealing your swollen, throbbing, pulsing clit.

‘Cillian, fuck’ you moaned as he continued to lick you. He took his time, slowly licking all of the surfaces of your clit.

Unlike most men you've been with, he knew what he was doing and you soon began to shudder and shake as he covered this territory.

After as little as ten minutes, you could feel yourself getting close to your high.

‘Cillian, don’t fucking stop’ you moaned as your hands held onto his head firmly as he continued to suck on your clit gently.

Your orgasm washed over you almost instantly and you lost all of your self-control while Cillian kept pushing your legs apart with his hands and stimulating your clit with his mouth.

Your legs wanted to give way shortly after you came down from your high and Cillian got off his knees quickly before pressing his lips onto yours in a haste, wanting you to taste your own juices that had pooled across his lips.

You moaned into his mouth while your hand reached between the both of you, running over his erection which was trapped beneath his tight jeans.

‘I am not done yet’ Cillian said as he moved your hand away from his crotch and pinned you back against the wall, kissing you again passionately.

While he was kissing you, he ran his hand over your wet mound, collecting your wet juices with his fingers before bring his finger up to your mouth.

You took his fingers into your mouth, licking them suggestively until he pulls them away from your mouth again.

Without words, his blue eyes starred into yours, full of want and desire and, without you noticing, his hand returned back in between your legs where he now, effortlessly, slid both of his fingers into your warmth.

You let out a loud moan, while Cillian looked at you, taking in your facial expressions. His lips were parted slightly as he observed your moans and you leaned forward to kiss him, but he wouldn’t allow it.

Within a few seconds, he found the magic spot inside of you and proceeded to tease it with his fingertips.

‘Holy Fucking Christ’ you screamed in shock. No one, not even yourself, had found this spot before and your legs were ready to give in right then and there.

‘Oh my god, stop…I mean don’t stop. Fuck, this is intense’ you said with laboured breathing as you starred at Cillian who responded with a satisfied grin.

‘Just relax and let go’ Cillian said before he pressed his lips back onto yours.

The pressure he used was gentle at first until he could feel you relax, which is when he increased his movements. You were already wet but, when his fingers massaged your g-spot, you began dripping on to the dark wooden floor.

‘Cillian, fuck fuck fuck, oh god’ you moaned as you felt a sensation you never felt run through your body. It was more intense than anything else you had ever experienced and, without being able to control yourself, you screamed loudly as your walls began to tighten around his fingers.

‘That’s it baby’ Cillian said as he watched your eyes close shut and listened to your loud moans while another orgasm washed over you.

As he did, he could feel a gush of wetness run over his hand and down to the floor, But you didn’t notice, you were in a trance, your legs were shaking by that point and you were entirely consumed by the most intense orgasm you ever had.

As you came down from your high, the wall behind you preventing you from collapsing to the floor, you looked at Cillian in disbelieve before noticing the puddle of clear liquid that had formed on the floor.

Cillian grinned, his tongue running over his lips suggestively as he watched your embarrassment.

‘Oh my god, what the fuck. This never happened before’ you said somewhat embarrassed when you noticed the puddle.

‘I am good then’ Cillian said before he pressed his lips back onto yours and wiped his hand on his jeans.

‘I am so sorry’ you said as your lips drifted apart, your mind filled with embarrassment about the mess you just made.

‘For this? Don’t be ridiculous’ Cillian said before kissing you again. ‘In fact, I think it’s sexy’ he added after your lips drifted apart.

‘Would you like to break in my new bed?’ you smirked as you took off the remainder of your clothes and indicating to Cillian to follow you.

‘It would be my pleasure’ Cillian smirked before he quickly kicked off his shoes and picked you up, remembering the location well from the last time he visited you.

As he held you against him and walked, you could feel his hardness pressing into you through his jeans and throbbing against your wet and naked mound.

He carried you to your bed and, with one swift movement, you found yourself with your back on the mattress.

As he took off his jeans and briefs all at the same time, Cillian couldn’t help but stare at your naked beauty, right there in front of him.

You could see his body respond as his hard member twitched and a few drops of precum escaped and fell to your bedroom floor.

You didn’t have to wait long for him to join you on the bed, hoovering over you and planting kisses over your body before meeting your lips again.

Then your lips were sucking and nibbling on his as he pulled away after each kiss, teasing you and occasionally your tongues would meet and fight each other.

No one ever kissed you quite like he did. It was intense and full of desire. Each kiss was different, new and exciting.

After your lips drifted apart again and while Cillian once more tried to take control, directing you to the position he wanted you in, you pushed him beneath you instead, catching him by surprise.

‘Do you have condoms?’ you asked as he was lying beneath you, thinking that you should have thought about this much earlier.

‘What happened to the ones from last time?’ Cillian asked as his hands continued to trail over your body, paying particular attention to your breasts.

‘They are in Kurt’s desk which is now in Kurt’s office’ you said, causing Cillian to laugh.

‘I can get dressed and walk to the shop. It isn’t far’ Cillian suggested before letting out a deep sigh knowing that his erection would defiantly not come down if he had to walk to the shops.

‘I am on birth control and, after Kurt, I just had all of my check-ups done’ you said, causing Cillian to nod in agreement before trying to take charge once again. But you wouldn’t budge and held him down against the bed playfully.

‘You really don’t like to give up control, do you?’ you grinned, causing Cillian to respond with a quiet chuckle.

‘No, but I am willing to try if you manage to tame me’ he winked jokingly before trying to pull you closer for another kiss.

‘I think I might just have the right thing for you Mr Murphy’ you grinned as you pulled away and reached for your bedside table.

From your bedside table, you pulled out a pair of leather handcuffs and held them up suggestively.

‘Do I get to use them on you some time?’ Cillian chuckled before he willingly put his hands above his head, ready for you to tie him against the metal frame of your bedhead.

‘Maybe’ you smirked as you secured the cuffs against his wrists and the bedhead, leaving him completely at your mercy.

By this time, the windows of your bedroom had become foggy, with precipitation running down the inside of them and the room was starting to smell like two people in heat, lust filling the air.

With Cillian’s wrists tied to the bedhead, you were now the one who hoovered over Cillian, planting kisses over him and rubbing your wet folds over his upper thighs suggestively. Random drops of his precum were caught by your skin and you got intermittent glimpses of his cock, still rigid this whole time.

He hated and loved the way you were teasing him all at the same time until, finally, you made your descent over his perfectly shaped chest and stomach and all the way down towards his hard member.

Cillian inhaled sharply as he watched you lick his precum of his cockhead, using your tongue only.

He pulled on his restraints, desperate for you to take his rigid member into your mouth as you continued to tease him with only small licks.

‘Patience’ you whispered before, finally, you took all of him deep into your mouth, making him groan loudly as he bottomed out in your throat.

Whilst your hands paid attention to his balls, you began to bob your head up and down before taking his hard shaft into one of your hands and licking around his tip only.

After about ten minutes, Cillian’s breathing soon became laboured and you knew that he was getting close as you could feel his cock pulsate inside your mouth.

‘Fuck Y/N’ he moaned until, eventually, your motions came to a halt and you shifted your body back up towards his until your lips met his once again.

While you exchanged a passionate kiss, you swung one leg over Cillian’s waist and reached between you, holding his hard shaft and carefully guiding it inside you.

‘Jesus’ was all that escaped him after your lips drifted apart and you lowered yourself onto him, taking inch by inch of his cock inside of you until you sat flush against him.

‘Hmm yes’ you moaned as you could feel all of him inside of you, stretching you and filling you completely.

‘Fuck you feel good’ Cillian moaned, trying to pull against his restraints in order to touch you. But his efforts were futile.

His warm cock felt amazing inside you and, once you adjusted to his size, you began to move, up and down, backwards and forwards.

You flicked your head back, riding him fast and hard. His breath was laboured and it was obvious to you that he was enjoying it, no longer trying to get out of his restraints.

‘God damn Y/N’ Cillian groaned as he watched your breasts bounce slightly up and down with every movement and it wasn’t long until your fingernails dug down into his chest, leaving some visible marks.

‘Come inside me’ you moaned, turned on by the thought of it and this was all he needed to hear in order to let go completely.

‘I am so fucking close’ you moaned and Cillian groaned in sync with you as he tried to thrust back up into you despite the restraints.

‘Fuck Y/N’ he moaned again, his cock beginning to throb inside of you and, just as he groaned once last time, you screamed his name as your third orgasm washed over you.

Cillian and you came together, in sync, and your walls contracted just as he filled you with his warm cum.

After you rode out your orgasm, you slowly uncuffed him before lifting your body up slowly, allowing his cock to slide out of you.

You could feel his cum leak from your core and down your thigh as you got up.

‘Oh wow’ you grinned sheepishly as you noticed the large amount of cum on your core and thigh.

‘Yeah sorry, it’s been like a week’ Cillian chuckled but you didn’t mind at all and collected some of it with your finger. You brought your finger to your mouth, licking it suggestively.

Your actions caused Cillian to raise his eyebrows and stare at you in disbelieve.

‘Well, I wanted to see what you taste like’ you smirked before you collapsed next to him.

You curled up against Cillian’s chest while he wrapped his arms around you, his fingers gently tracing over your back.

You pulled the sheets over you, feeling the cold air passing through the room, the heat of Cillian’s naked body radiating to yours.

‘I don’t really want to get up’ Cillian said, half covered by your sheets, starring at you with his deep blue eyes.

‘Then don’t. Stay here tonight’ you smiled before pulling him close for another kiss.

‘It’s only 8 o’clock Y/N. I probably should go’ Cillian said, causing you to pout.

‘I could order some chinese and a bottle of wine…we can watch a movie and then we can fuck again’ you suggested, causing Cillian to laugh.

‘I didn’t think that you could handle any more’ Cillian chuckled as he could see the exhaustion on your face.

‘Oh trust me, I can’ you said.

Cillian reluctantly agreed and you got up from beneath the sheets to get your phone to place the order.

Luckily, your apartment was a loft style studio penthouse and your large bed was in the middle of the large room, right in front of your flat screen TV.

‘What do you want to watch?’ Cillian asked as he flicked through the movies on Netflix and you finally agreed on a scary movie you had heard about from your sister.

But, neither of you paid much attention to the rather horrible movie. You enjoyed your chinese food and wine and joked, talked about almost anything and everything until, finally, the credits came on.

‘That was terrible’ Cillian laughed and you agreed and apologised for your choice of movie.

‘At least the main actor was hot’ you giggled as you got up and placed the chine food containers into the bin in your kitchen area.

‘Do you want me to introduce you?’ Cillian chuckled.

‘Nah, I don’t get involved with actors’ you said as you sneaked back under the covers. You were both still completely naked, covered by the doona.

‘Is that right?’ Cillian laughed before his lips crashed back onto yours and you quickly found yourself beneath him.

‘I can’t believe you can actually go again’ you said delighted as you could feel his hard member poke against your upper thigh, causing Cillian to chuckle.

‘Well, I am in bed with a very sexy woman…one who doesn’t get involved with actors apparenty….so maybe I should leave’ Cillian joked as he ran his hand through your hair gently.

‘I will make an exception for you’ you smirked just before Cillian got up from the bed and walked to your bathroom ensuite.

Seconds later, he returned with a large white towel and placed it onto the bed, causing you to look at him with surprise.

But, before you could put any more thought to it, he kneeled on the bed and took your legs, putting them over his shoulders.

‘Uhm…’ you said, somewhat surprised by his choice of position and, before you could say anything else, he interlaces your fingers with his and you felt the head of his cock rest against your entrance.

Cillian shifted his hips back and forth, running the length of his shaft and head over your wet folds and then pushed the head into your already soaking entrance.

You take a deep, shuddering breath as you felt his swollen cockhead push your lips aside and stretch you.

Your walls relaxed while you felt even more wetness flowing from you as Cillian gently pressed forward and you could feel your walls stretch around him once again.

Cillian leaned forward, bending at the waist while he entered you slowly and fully until he bottomed out inside of you and there it was again, this unfamiliar feeling.

You let out a loud moan as you could feel the tip of his cock press against your g-spot which was when you began to realise why he chose this position and why had placed a towel beneath you.

‘You are so fucking beautiful’ he whispered while you watched as he started to pull out again almost all the way before pushing back in and pausing when his cockhead hits your g-spot again.

‘Cillian, oh god’ you moaned as, with some subtle movements of his hips, he rubbed the head against your g-spot, making your fingers and toes curl.

Then he pulled out again almost all the way as he waited a few seconds for you to swell tighter. During that time, he ran his fingertips up and down your thighs and gave you grin before he started thrusting back into you again. He was slow and gentle, similar to when he his fingers first stimulated your sweet spot.

Once Cillian felt you relax completely and give in to the sensation of being penetrated this way, his thrusts became more forceful and fast.

The temperature of your apartment had increased significantly as sweat starts pouring down your bodies. Your juices once again started dripping from you and down his shaft. Your wetness was pooling underneath you two.

Cillian watched your toned stomach muscles flex as you cannot stay still as he reached down to rub your clit in circles, clockwise and counterclockwise while continuing his thrusting. Your breathing, which had started to become irregular, was now erratic. He smiled and enjoyed watching your breasts jiggle everywhere as you squirmed, trying to hold still.

Most of your body has now become a little numb, and as you felt him pulse and throb deep inside you and hear him moving in and out of your wetness, your eyes start glazing over a bit and rolling back into your head.

And then the intense feeling started again, at the top of your head. You couldn’t completely explain it and it was the most calm, relaxing feeling but with an undercurrent of tension that just gradually builds as that feeling flows over your face, neck, breasts, stomach, arms, and legs. When the feeling hit between your legs, your walls clamped down as hard as they could on his thick shaft.

‘Cillian, fuck…please don’t stop’ you moaned and with a loud cry, your body began to shiver, quiver, shake, bend, shudder, and contort as a multiwave orgasm rolled through you. Each wave feeling like a lightning bolt from head to toe as your tension lessened with each episode. Cillian pinned you down as you could not possibly stay still as he watched you writhe in ecstasy.

You almost blacked out as your whole body couldn’t stop coming. Just like the last time when Cillian massaged your g-spot, the pool of juices beneath you had quickly become a puddle and you could soon feel his balls swell up against your mound.

When your walls tightened around him, you could feel his cum rising within his shaft just before, with one loud groan, he filled you again with his warm seed.

Small tears fell from your eyes as you finally came down from your high and Cillian carefully pulled out of you, allowing you to rest your legs on the mattress.

‘Fuck Y/N, are you alright? I didn’t hurt you, did I?’ Cillian asked as soon as he noticed your teary eyes and flushed face.

‘No, it was just…’ you said as you took a deep breath before continuing your sentence. ‘It was very fucking intense’ you said, your breath heavy.

‘In a good way I hope’ Cillian chuckled before pressing his lips onto yours.

‘In the best way’ you giggled before you curled up against him.

After several gentle kisses and your hands roaming each other’s bodies, you eventually both drifted off to sleep.

***The Watch***

The following morning, you were both woken up by Cillian’s phone ringing at 8 o’clock. It was Kurt and he was persistent after Cillian didn’t pick up the first time.

Half asleep, with your head still resting on his chest, he answered the phone and talked to him.

‘Hey Kurt, what’s up?’ Cillian asked as he was waking up slowly while you began to trace your fingers over Cillian’s chest, playing with the little bit of chest hair.

‘I got the schedule last night and wondered whether you want to talk about it’ Kurt said politely just as Cillian wiggled around, stretching himself while you planted small kisses over his chest and down towards your stomach.

‘Uhm, talk…yes’ Cillian said as he raised an eyebrow when he noticed that you disappeared beneath the doona, your hands running over his upper thighs.

‘Could you come to my office in an hour?’ Kurt asked as Cillian took in a deep breath as your hands ran over his hardening cock.

‘Fuck’ was all that escaped him as he suddenly felt your warm lips wrapped around his base and he instantly went completely hard in your mouth.

‘Cillian?’ Kurt asked surprised by Cillian’s response.

‘Yes…fuck…sorry…9 o’clock?’ Cillian asked as he tried hard not to moan while you began to bob your head up and down, occasionally twirling your tongue over his head.

‘Yeah, if that’s alright?’ Kurt asked again, somewhat concerned by Cillian’s strange responses.

‘Yeah…’ Cillian responded before holding his breath, a deep groan stuck in his throat.

‘Can you call Y/N? She is being a fucking cunt not picking up my calls even though we need to work together on this’ Kurt complained.

‘Mhhm…’ Cillian said, pretending to listen to what Kurt was saying while you swallowed his length whole, moving your head up and down over and over again.

‘I actually think she is seeing someone’ Kurt went on to say as you ran your tongue piercing up and down Cillian’s shaft.

‘Aha’ Cillian responded trying to hold back his release, so close to coming.

‘I have to go man’ Cillian barely managed to say as your hands wrapped around his tight balls.

‘See you soon’ Kurt said before hanging up and just as he did a loud groan fell from Cillian’s lip.

‘Fuck Y/N’ he moaned just as his shaft pulsated heavily and he filled your mouth with his warm and sweet cum.

You looked up from beneath the doona, opening your mouth slightly and suggestively before swallowing all of it with a grin.

‘So, what did my ex want?’ you asked sheepishly, causing Cillian to chuckle.

‘You are so fucking bad’ he laughed before pulling you close for a kiss and telling you about the meeting.

‘You didn’t last very long despite your conversation with Kurt’ you giggled as you jumped up, walking towards the shower.

‘What can I say, blow jobs are my weakness especially coming from someone so talented’ Cillian smirked before he grabbed you from behind, kissing your neck and following you to the shower.

‘But, that’s not to say that we can’t keep going in the shower’ he grinned and so you went, spending twenties minutes making love while streams of hot water ran over your bodies.

After you came out of the shower and starred into the mirror you noticed that both, Cillian and you, were covered with small little bruises, scratches and bite marks.

You never quite had a night like this with anyone before and you weren’t ashamed. Nonetheless, you opted for a turtle neck jumper and some tight jeans.

Cillian had no choice but to wear the clothes he wore the night before, including the pair of jeans which had some obvious stains.

‘Sorry’ you chuckled as you noticed the stains.

‘Don’t worry. I’ll throw them in the wash and they’ll be grand’ he chuckled before you both walked to his car.

Ten minutes later, you arrived at Kurt’s office together and you felt the need to explain to him that your car broke down and Cillian was kind enough to offer to pick you up.

Kurt wasn’t suspicious by the fact that you arrived together, nor was he suspicious about the little bruises on Cillian’s neck. It was something else that, during your meeting with him, caught his attention and this was Cillian’s watch. It looked awfully familiar.

An hour into your meeting, rewriting half of the schedule because of Kurt being difficult and Cillian continuing to argue with him, Amanda and Jeremy arrived as well to finalise the advertising campaign for the music part of the festival.

Immediately, as soon as Amanda walked into Kurt’s office, she pulled Cillian aside.

‘Where the fuck were you last night?’ she asked quietly but everyone heard it, causing Jeremy to laugh.

‘I don’t think I have to answer that Amanda’ Cillian responded with some irritation before taking the paper schedule off Kurt and walking to the utilities room. Of course, she noticed the small bruises on his neck. It was obvious to her that he’s been with another woman.

You and Jeremy followed Cillian knowing very well that, the last time he tried to use the copier in the utilities room, he almost broke it and one of the administration assistants had banned him from ever touching it again.

As you were gone, Kurt had time to speak to Amanda in private.

‘I think I have an idea as to where Cillian may have been last night’ he chuckled, catching Amanda’s interest.

#cillian murphy #Cillian Murphy x Reader #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x you #cillian murphy x y/n

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mammonshuman92 · 3 years

Text

- It Takes Two -

(Mammon x GN!MC)

Genre: angst/hurt/comfort

WARNINGS: alcohol, drunkenness, cheating, **

** There is a moment where a character is drunk, and someone makes moves on them, character is too drunk to realize it’s not who they thought it was. Groping and making out, no penetration; character doesn’t consider is SA. I apologize if it is offensive.

Ya better hurry up, or we’re gonna be late!” Mammon was pulling you by the hand down the hallway to your first class of the day.

“I wasn’t the one who overslept because they kept saying “just lay with me for 5 more minutes.”“ You said, giving your best impression of him.

You’d become best friends rather quickly after your arrival in the Devildom, practically becoming attached at the hip instantly. It didn’t take long for that light, warm feeling to invade your heart. Now you’d been dating for a few months and had become even more inseparable.

“Details, details!” He responded, laughing.

The two of you came barreling through the door with only seconds to spare before the bell rang; hand-in-hand, laughing like fools.

You took your seats across the room from each other, being the professors current punishment for Mammon talking to you during class.

As you sat down you felt eyes on you and looked up.

A few succubi were not so casually looking at you and whispering.

It wasn’t uncommon though. I mean, you are a human in the Devildom. You also live with the 7 rulers of the underworld. You’d gotten quite used to people whispering about you. You decided to ignore them, and pay attention to class. Whatever they were whispering about was surely nothing you hadn’t already heard circulating throughout the gossip mill.

Throughout the day, you noticed the same group of succubi whispering and giving you looks. They even giggled a couple times. You tried your best to keep your cool, but it had been going on all day and it was really getting under your skin.

What is so damn funny? You thought to yourself.

The final bell rang and you couldn’t be happier. Now you got to put the day behind you and go home with Mammon. Tonight is movie night. Cuddling and eating junk food is just what you need after a day like today.

You rushed to the usual spot where you meet Mammon. Seeing his face would definitely make you feel better right now, but he wasn’t there yet.

He must have gotten hung up in class or something.

You leaned against the wall, pulled out your D.D.D. and started surfing Deviltube to pass the time. You were so engrossed in your video that you barely noticed that same group of succubi walk past.

Until they made sure you noticed them, that is.

One girl bumped into you on purpose, sending your D.D.D. to the concrete, via crash-landing.

“Stupid human.” She sneered.

You rolled your eyes and bent down to pick up your D.D.D. It’s nothing you haven’t heard, quite a bit actually, since coming to the Devildom. She’d have to try a lot harder than that.

When you stood back up, the succubus in question was standing in front of you, arms crossed with a smug grin.

“Do you think you’re special?” She asked, looking you up and down. You didn’t respond and resumed your scrolling through Deviltube. Ignoring her made her mad.

“As soon as he gets tired of you, he’ll move on to the next one.”

Excuse me?

“I don’t think MY relationship is any of your concern.” You said sweetly, slapping on your best fake smile. You looked around them, desperate to see Mammon walking up, but he wasn’t there.

Where is he?

She was practically laughing in your face.

“He made me feel special too.” Her words, full of venom as they left her lips, triggered something in your brain.

Flashbacks of your first day in the Devildom came rushing back. Specifically what Satan had said after Mammon made his grand entrance.

“Whenever he takes a liking to someone, they suddenly find themselves awash in money. But from what I hear, if he decides to break it off with someone, that wealth evaporates. They’re left without a Grimm to their name.”

The memory made your chest feel heavy.

Could that pertain to people as well? They said a pure soul is like a shiny gem. What if..

“Everything he’s said to you, he probably already said to me.” She spat.

Your head was spinning, a knot forming in your throat. Her earlier words replaying in your mind.

“As soon as he gets tired of you, he’ll move on to the next one.”

What if..? No.. He wouldn’t do that...would he?

You quickly got so lost in thought as anxiety started to take root, plaguing you with ‘what ifs’ and hypotheticals, that you almost didn’t notice when someone stepped between you and the succubus. Putting a hand on either side of your face, he tilted your head up to look at him. Irises the color of tropical waters, instantly melt away your anxiety, calming the angry sea inside you.

“Let’s go home.” He whispered with a smile. His voice was soft, but you could see the anger in his eyes. He slung an arm around your shoulders and turned to start walking toward the House of Lamentation.

“We weren’t done talking.” She said vindictively.

“Don’t ya have anythin’ better to do?” Mammon snarled, glaring at the succubus.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, leaving with her friends.

By the immense tension you could feel between them, you could tell that they had indeed been together at some point.

The walk home was quiet, which left you with ample time for your thoughts to run wild.

Did she know him like you do? His little habits and his favorite things?

Did she stick up for him when his brothers were dogging on him? Or afterward when he was down, did she try her best to drown out their hateful words with affirmations of love?

Did she play with his hair while he laid on her stomach, arms wrapped tight around her middle after he loved her? Hold her in his lap as he rubbed soothing circles on her back when she was sad? Whisper sweet nothings to her when he thought she was asleep?

...Did he love her?

“Whoa! Did ya see that, MC?!”

The two of you were curled up on the couch in Mammon’s room, watching a movie on his projector, just like you did every week.

Did they do movie night?

It shouldn’t be bothering you. Of course he’s had other partners. He’s been alive for thousands of years.

And you’ve had other partners. So what? No biggie. That wasn’t the issue.

The thought of him saying the same things, doing the same things with someone else...loving someone else, is what bothered you. It hurt to think that maybe you really weren’t that special; another weak, insignificant human, just like all the rest.

But the things she said kept playing on a loop in your head.

“As soon as he gets tired of you, he’ll move on to the next one.”

“He made me feel special too.”

Could she be right?

“Babe, are ya okay?” He had paused the movie and was now staring at you expectantly.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah I’m fine.” He saw through it quickly.

“Ya know, you’re not good at lyin’. What’s wrong? If ya don’t like the movie we can watch someth-”

“That girl earlier, at RAD? Is she your ex?” You didn’t want to bring it up, but you had to know before your thoughts could torment you further.

His face fell and he sighed heavily. “I was wonderin’ when you were gonna say somethin’..”

You remained quiet, watching his face, waiting for him to begin talking.

“We were together a long, long, time ago. Nothin’ serious. I broke it off when I realized she was only around for what she could get outta me. She didn’t take it too well.” He explained, his expression turning sour. “She had a different story, huh?”

“She didn’t say much really, except once you get tired of me you’ll move onto the next one. That I’m nothing special because everything you say to me you’ve probably said to her.” You said, keeping your eyes down as you fidget with the hem on your shirt.

He started laughing.

Your head snapped up, looking at him in shock.

“What’s so funny, Mammon?” You asked, getting a little irritated by his reaction. He stopped laughing when he looked at you and realized you were serious.

“Ya don’t actually believe her, do ya?” He scoffed, getting offended.

“No? I don’t know..” You replied, not meeting his gaze. Of course you wanted to believe him, but you already felt like you weren’t good enough for him, and that succubi’s words just watered the seeds of insecurity in your brain and helped them flourish.

You had always been the opposite of his brothers. You always believed Mammon, even when everyone else was against him. You were always on his side. Ready to stick up for him no matter what. To hear you now, was like a slap in the face.

Mammon’s face distorted in pain. And anger.

“What? Whaddya mean ya don’t know?” His voice was soft, “Ya don’t trust me?” He asked, meeting your gaze.

“Mammon, that’s-”

He shook his head. “No, I get it. A few bitter words from some random demon and now my words mean nothin’. “ He jumped up from the couch, making a beeline for the door.

“What about the last few months, huh? After all the time we spent together you think I’d do somethin’ like that to ya?” His voice cracked on the last sentence. He paused; hand on the knob as he stared at the door. You heard a small sniffle as his other hand came up to angrily wipe his face.

“I thought ya knew me better than anyone.” His voice was barely audible, but you could hear the hurt. He felt betrayed.

And with that he left, slamming the door behind him.

When he didn’t come back after an hour and wouldn’t answer your calls, you grabbed a few things and headed to your room. You still felt uneasy about the whole “his ex confronting you” thing and after what had just happened, you just wanted to be alone.

Your bed seemed huge and your room felt odd. It’s not like you didn’t spend time in there anymore, you just didn’t usually do so alone. The silence was deafening.

I shouldn't have doubted him. He used to try and hide his feelings, although he was bad at it. But since we got together, he doesn’t hide how he feels about us to anyone.

You thought of all the times his cheeks had flushed scarlet when you caught him staring at you. How he sits and endures scary movies because they’re your favorite. The way he will randomly bring you your favorite snacks or other little gifts because he was thinking about you. Relentlessly tickling you just to hear your bright, uninhibited laughter. That even in his sleep, he has to be constantly touching some part of you, or he gets restless.

You slowly drifted off to sleep, with tears staining your cheeks.

“Have you seen Mammon?”

He never came looking for you last night and he wasn’t at breakfast. He even skipped RAD.

Asmo shook his head, “Not since yesterday. Did something happen?”

You decided to fill him in with all the details. He is the Avatar of Lust after all, so surely he could give you some advice regarding love.

He gasped dramatically, “No she didn’t! What a tart!”

“I know I shouldn’t have doubted him. He’s never given me a reason to, but I don’t know. She just got in my head, I guess. Poked at some insecurities.” You explained. “I haven’t seen him since he stormed off.”

“He won’t pout for long, he never does.”

“It’s more than just pouting. I hurt him just like everyone else. He feels betrayed.” You said, voice small.

You just wanted to pepper his face with kisses and profusely apologize for ever doubting him. Why did you ever let some random succubus get to you like that? To make your trust for Mammon falter, even slightly. Did you honestly believe he would toss you aside after he got what he could out of you? Really?

Satan said it too though, in the beginning. That when you’re with him you find yourself drowning in gifts and the like, but once he outgrows you, you’re left with nothing. That’s the Greed.

You refuse to accept it though.

You know Mammon, better than anyone. He has changed so much since you came here. He’s not the same demon he used to be. He is more than just his sin.

“When he is ready, he’ll come back. He always does.” Asmo said, placing a hand on your shoulder, giving you a warm smile.

“Now, let’s go and change! You are depressing me and it’s ruining my skin. We are going out tonight!” He was practically vibrating with excitement. You, not so much.

“Ugh, no way Asmo. I’m not in a party mood.”

“Nonsense! It’s exactly what you need. We will have some drinks and dance and you’ll feel better. You’ll see.”

You relented, knowing that once Asmo got his mind set on something like this, there was no getting out of it. Maybe a few drinks really would make you feel better.

“Trouble in paradise?” She said, motioning to the drink in his hand.

His clothes were dishevelled, his hair mussed, eyes red-rimmed and puffy. He looked like he’d been through the wringer. Felt like it too. He’d been in the private lounge at the club for a little while now, nursing drink after drink, attempting to drown his sorrows.

“Go away.” He growled, turning his attention back to his drink.

“Is that anyway to greet an old friend?” She asked innocently.

“Nah, but it is a good way to greet a snake.”

“Ouch.” She put a hand over her heart, feigning hurt feelings.

“Haven’t ya caused enough problems? Leave me alone.”

She scoffed, plopping down onto the couch next to him. “Oh, come on Mammon. You’re this hung up over a human?”

“Don’t talk about MC.” He snarled. In one big gulp, he swallowed the remainder of his drink. No matter what kind of situation the two of you were in, he wouldn’t let someone, anyone, say anything cross about you. At all.

“Oh, come on. You can’t seriously say you don’t miss being with me. A demon.” She leaned in close, her lips next to his ear, “Not nearly as fragile as a human. You can be as rough as you want..” She purred.

He jumped up from where he’d been sitting, attempting to get away from the succubus. “Get the fuc- Whoa.” He slurred, staggering slightly before quickly sitting back down, head lolling back to rest on the back of the couch. His vision was pretty blurry; the room spinning. He closed his eyes, hoping it’d help.

Even in his deeply inebriated state, you were all that was on his mind. The feel of your hand running through his hair, lightly scratching at his scalp. The warmth of your body pressed against his, your lips; soft and delicate like rose petals, leaving small kisses across his face before finally meeting his lips. The bubbly sound of your laughter, beautiful like music. The way your eyes shine every time you see him, even if he only left your side for a tiny moment.

After the fight you had and leaving the way he did, and now being away from you a whole day, not hearing your voice, feeling your touch, he was ready to go crazy. And although he did sneak back into the house after he was sure everyone was asleep, and slept in the backseat of his car so no one would find him, it wasn’t the same as sleeping next to you. He missed you.

But, it was more than that. He felt so incredibly stupid for reacting the way he had. If he were in your situation, and felt how you did, he would’ve had questions too. You love him, and all you wanted was a little reassurance that he in fact does love you. Man, does he love you. More than he’s ever loved anyone or anything.

With the attention span of a tuna sandwich, mixed with the levels of alcohol in his system, and being so deep in his thoughts of you, he hadn’t noticed the sudden shift of weight in his lap.

One hand found its way to the back of his head, fingers tangling in his hair. The other hand resting on his chest, slowly moving down his stomach, intently feeling every muscle. His mouth opened slightly, a breathy sigh escaping. He had missed you so much, your touch lighting his skin ablaze, craving you more and more.

Your hand moved lower, earnestly caressing his growing stiffness. Your lips crashed into his suddenly; hungrily, your tongue brushing his bottom lip. His hands moved up your thighs before firmly gripping your hips, grinding you against him.

Small alarm bells were going off in his head, something didn’t seem right. You didn’t giggle like you always do when he grabs your hips. Your kisses seemed sloppier than usual too.

He tried opening his eyes, blinking lazily several times. The room was still swirling around in his drunkenness, making it nearly impossible to focus.

Your hand moved to his pants, undoing the button and zipper. He removed a hand from your hip and grabbed your wrist, but didn’t attempt to move your hand from his swollen boxers. As he was about to break the kiss and suggest heading home and picking up with this make up where you left off, he heard a voice nearby.

“What the hell?!” They shrieked.

Asmo?

“Mammon..?” You barely choked out.

That was your voice. He’d recognize it anywhere; the musical sound gently floating into his ears as it always did. But you sounded like you were crying..

And it didn’t come from the figure straddling his lap. How is that possible? He’s been making out with you, getting pretty heated actually, for the last several minutes.

He broke the kiss with you, confusedly turning to his left and blinking several times until his surroundings started to come into focus.

There you stood in the doorway of the private lounge with Asmo next to you, your eyes wide as s tears streamed down your cheeks, gaping at him in horror.

The alarm bells that had been going off, the red flags popping up trying to warn him that something wasn’t quite right, were about to become very clear.

- part two coming soon! -

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me angst #obey me mammon #mammon x reader #mammon x mc #mammon x you #mammon x gn!reader #mammon x gn #trigger warning #tw

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akaashisupremacy · 3 years

Text

New Beginnings

Summary: Having broken off your engagement for an arranged marriage with Gojo, your relationship is in shreds. Will you be able to find peace in each other again?

Notes: Gojo Satoru is good-looking, all powerful and beyond good at his job. I’ve always wanted to explore something he struggles with

Gojo Satoru x reader

Multi-fandom Masterlist || HQ Masterlist || Ao3 version

Genre: ANGST AND PINING, exes to friends to ??, commitment issues lol (wc: 1.3k) tw: mention of blood, infedelity-ish

“Sensei, why are we heading to the infirmary?”

Right after Gojo Satoru arrived at the den Itadori Yuuji was staying, Kiyotaka burst in and whispered something in his ear. Gojo’s eyes widened and he immediately set off with Yuuji tailing him.

“What happened to her?” Gojo exclaims.

The three arrive at the infirmary to see you writhing in pain and screaming in agony. There is dark red blood on your side. Gojo looks like someone had been clawing nails at a chalkboard. He hates to see you like this.

Kiyotaka looks for a healer. Yuuji goes to hide. Gojo tries to undo your makeshift bandages. You’re in a blur of pain.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

The next thing you remember after your aborted mission is Gojo Satoru’s concerned eyes watching over you. You’re in the Jujutsu Tech infirmary. Your wound is still fresh as hell.

“She’s really beautiful, sensei.” Itadori Yuuji comments quietly from your bedside.

“She is.” Gojo agrees. Your eyes are closed, yet you sense his presence seated on a stool by your bed.

“Is she a former classmate?” Yuuji asks.

“Among other things. She used to be my fiancée too.”

Yuuji probably scrambles at his stance, “Your what????”

Gojo turns to him, “To be clear it wasn’t a love match. We were arranged to be married by our families by 21, but we broke it off.”

Whenever either of you say this, it always leaves more questions than answers.

Your eyes flicker open. You wince as you try to sit up. Gojo immediately reaches out to aid you. Your hands swat him away.

“Welcome back?” He cheekily greets.

You sniff and look the other way. Why did he have to work here?

Beside him is a young student with pink hair. He must be Yuuji.

“Go get her something to eat from the kitchens.” he tells his student, “Something gentle on the stomach and nutritious enough to get her strength back.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Seeing Gojo Satoru is a different kind of pain. You once thought you were to be married to this man. Because you knew it was your obligation to your family, you learned to love him.

You both enter Jujutsu Kaisen at 15, Gojo a year ahead. It was the most painful three years of your life. Gojo was a popular and inexorable flirt. His attention span for romances was short although he was never short on female attention.

He cared for you very much. He protected you, assured you and was one of your best friends, but you’ve come to accept that he could never love you romantically or be faithful. He just wasn’t interested.

It hurt you deeply of course. You had tried so hard to love him and he couldn’t do the same for you. Was something wrong with you? You felt deficient. You took the blame onto yourself.

When you were about to graduate, you decided to take matters into your own hands.

“Gojo, I’m going back home this Sunday, probably for the last time.” you approached him while he sat on a stone bench. He had just come back from a mission.

“Any reason it sounds so dramatic?’ he raised a brow.

“I’m breaking off our engagement to my clan leader.”

Gojo was so taken aback he didn't know how to react. His mouth hung open.

“You don’t love me and I don’t think you can.” you sighed, looking away.

Gojo fiddled with his hands, “I do, just not romantically.”

It bothered you that he loved you like family. How could you be married to him if he couldn't see you as more than a friend?

“I don’t know why you haven’t come up with this idea yourself honestly.” you frowned. You can feel yourself glaring more intensely than you had wanted to project.

A gentle gust of wind blew by, ruffling the hairs on your head.

“I have,” he quietly admitted, “But I was afraid you’d take it personally and I was trying to find a way to spare you the anguish.”

You shook your head and kicked a pebble, “There’s nothing you can do to spare me.”

“I’ll go with you. If you do this alone, your clan will exile you. Maybe if they see that it’s mutual maybe they’ll be kinder.” he resolved. The arranged marriage was important because it solidified an alliance between your families. Breaking it off meant you were essentially having your own insurgency against your clan.

But they weren’t kinder. You were still exiled. It was hardly a surprise. At least you were relieved of the prospects of loveless marriage.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

“Can you not watch me eat?” You weakly snap at him.

"I can see you’re still pissed at me.” he acknowledges saintly.

You angrily stuck your spoon on your porridge with all the strength you could muster

“Every time I see you I’m reminded of how I failed to make you love me,” your voice is peeling with emotion, “And how my clan kicked me out because of it.”

Gojo opens his mouth to talk, but nothing comes out. Instead he nods understandingly. He goes to grab you more water.

“Every time I see you hurt like this, it reminds me how I fail at protecting you too.” he murmurs, “I know we’re no longer engaged, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m supposed to keep you from harm.”

He talks with his back away from you, as if you could see through him even without his eyes.

“You didn’t fail at anything,” he continues, “Things couldn’t work out between us because of me. I’ve long since known that I’m not into romantic relationships—at least not in the long term, monogamous way that leads to a wedding and a family. But if I could…I promise…it would be with you.”

“Maybe in a different life.” He adds, reigning in his emotion.

Your face softens at his words. You reach out to hold his hand and he holds you tenderly.

“I didn’t mean to cause you the pain that I have.” he whispers, his voice hoarse.

Tears fall down your eyes. You’ve always carried the blame on yourself. Hearing that from him lifts imaginable weight from your chest. You didn’t realize how badly you needed his apology.

He reaches into his pocket for a handkerchief and wipes away your tears.

“We’ve wasted so many years lost in our own pain.” you mumble back, looking away from him.

“We were too young to deal with the cards that we have been dealt then.” he replies, “You should be kinder to our younger selves.”

He lightly squeezes your hand and for a moment you’re both silent.

“Yeah, I guess I should.” you said with a small smile, “I wish we could press a reset button to start over.”

You hear footsteps entering the infirmary. Itadori Yuuji sees the two of you, hands still entangled in each other. He tries to walk back as if not having seen you.

You both pull away. Strangely you don’t feel embarrassed at all.

“Yuuji, go get a wheelchair. We’re taking our guest for a walk. It’s a beautiful day today.” he instructs, eyes still locked at you. Yuuji nods, glad to be sent away.

He turns to you grinning, “That kid was stunned at how beautiful you are. He told me so on the way back. He only likes Jennifer Lawrence so I guess you’re at par with her.”

You both chuckle and laugh.

“I’ve always wanted to be mistaken for a celebrity.”

“You’re more badass in real life though.” he tilts his head.

“You didn’t need him to get a wheelchair. I can try to walk.” you insist, pushing against the bed rails.

Gojo stands to help you, “The doctor clearly said you need to save your strength. You can walk when we get to the garden.”

“I can’t believe we’re bickering already.” you roll your eyes.

Gojo snorts. You crack a smile. He helps you swing your legs down the bed. Today you start anew, an attempt to reshape how your relationship should’ve been. Today, you finally get some new beginnings.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

General taglist: @itstheee-ha-chan @kaizumi@holaaaf@glxar@francxsca

Series Taglist: @kageyamakock

Like this fic? Check out another Gojo fic here.

The rest of the series: Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 6 || Part 7 || Part 8

Heyyy if you made it this far. Let me know your thoughts and if you’d like to see the next chapters 🥺 Writing this fic had me feeling so many typa ways hahahaha and I just need to share it with people.

#gojo angst #gojo imagine #gojo scenario #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #jjk x you #jjk angst #jjk imagines #satoru gojo x y/n #satoru gojo x you #gojou satoru x reader #gojo x y/n #gojo x you #gojo x reader #satoru gojo x reader

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somebodytoundress · 2 years

Note

for the ficlet starter lines!!! could you do buddie with #7?

ty for sending this here, easier to keep track of <3

“Are you trying to tell me something?”

“I-uh, what do you mean?” Buck asks, feigning innocence as he scratches the back of his neck. It’s an odd situation, that’s for sure, but Buck and Eddie have never really done things the normal way, have they? However, this is definitely interesting behavior from Buck, all things considered.

Eddie gives him a pointed look as he pulls his phone out of his pocket, saying, “It’s almost three in the morning. We got off a forty-eight-hour shift, and you’re knocking on my door with a duffel bag and that sad look in your eyes like a kicked puppy dog, what’s going on? You never knock.”

This much is true. Buck has had a key for years now, but they’ve done a lot of things that are out of the ordinary according to Buck’s now-ex-girlfriend, who had issues with coming second to Eddie. The truth was, Buck was a little oblivious, but Taylor had been right. She was second to Eddie, but any woman he dated would be. His priority was always going to be his best friend and his son because they were Buck’s family as much as Maddie was. That was how he had always understood it.

Until Taylor had looked him in the eyes with tears brimming and asked, “Do you love him?”

No one had been more surprised than Buck when a breathless affirmation had slipped from his lips. Now it all made sense and he was going crazy and needed to get away from Taylor and the first — well, only — place he had considered going was, well, here.

The silence between them has gone on for far too long and Buck realizes that the other is looking at him expecting some sort of answer and he isn’t sure he knows how to even formulate the words. All he knows is that his heart is racing just looking at the man he thinks he’s been in love with for years and all it took was one pissed-off reporter to figure it out for him. Now that he’s here, though, he doesn’t know how to just tell him. He tries to think if Eddie would ever reject him. Eddie, with so much love in his heart, that has been here for Buck for years no matter what; he thinks that if Eddie could never love him in the way he wants, he would be okay with that.

“Taylor broke up with me,” he figures is a good place to start where all else fails. The moment he says this, Eddie opens the door wider as if Buck being invited in had ever been a question in the first place. He steps inside and lets the door close behind him as his duffel bag falls to the floor. Eddie opens his mouth to say something, but Buck cuts him off, “Because I’m in love with you. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I guess.”

“It’s late,” Eddie sighs. It’s not a no. It is very decidedly not a no. Not an “I hate you,” not a “get out of my house.” Buck thinks he’ll take it.

Then, Eddie in all his mystery reaches out and tugs Buck in by the wrist and he thinks he might kiss him, but his lips redirect to Buck’s forehead. The kiss is gentle, saying more than words ever could, as a hand comes up to tangle in his hair and Buck selfishly allows himself to breathe Eddie in.

“Eddie—”

“I love you, too,” Eddie cuts him off, a soft smile on his face as his lips linger before he takes a step back, hand still gripping Buck’s, lowering his grip so their fingers interlace with one another. “C’mon, it’s late. We’ll talk in the morning, you look like you could use some sleep.”

It’s not the first time they’ve shared a bed, but with an overwhelmingly warm feeling in his chest, Buck knows it won’t be the last.

send me a ship + a prompt from this list :)

#ficlet #prompt list #writing prompts #buddie #911 show #buddie ficlet #maybe i'll put these on ao3 later who knows #for now here is a small drabble #fluf

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dreamwritesimagines · 4 years

Text

Twisted 17 - Mind Games [Spencer Reid x Reader]

A.N.: Thank you so much for your wonderful support my loves! Here’s the next chapter, I hope you will like it as well, and please let me know what you think of it! ❤❤ Ily, kisses! ❤❤❤

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Murder, serial killers, violence, manipulation, mentions of sex, drinking, smoking, angst.

Word Count: 4700

Summary: Love demands sacrifices.

Not even once in your life had you ever imagined yourself in handcuffs, in an interrogation room on the wrong side of the table.

You weren’t even at the FBI headquarters though. The police had taken you to the station after the hospital, taking a blood sample and your fingerprints, then they had handcuffed you and left you there with a glass of water.

Of course they suspected you. Of course they thought you had murdered him.

Murder was your father’s legacy, after all.

You traced the handcuffs over your wrists, already feeling the bruises forming there. The shock still hadn’t worn off but you were starting to think it was a good thing. It felt as if you were watching all of this from behind some kind of glass window, perfectly aware of every single emotion but unable to actually feel them.

Spencer had said when you felt threatened, your body produced nervous energy, some sort of a fight or flight reaction but for once you weren’t trying to do any of that.

You just sat there, completely frozen.

“You look calm,” the police officer spoke, making you look up, trying to ignore the faint yelling coming from outside, possibly from the end of the hall.

“I’m sorry?”

“Most people would be traumatized if this happened to them, they’d be crying, shaking…” he motioned at you, “But look at you. Still as a statue. You look pretty calm.”

“Would you rather if I were crying?”

“I’d rather if you were acting like a human being,” he said, “Why are you so calm?”

Why were you so calm?

Because your mother had taught you this much. Showing emotion when you were afraid meant weakness.

“My father was a serial killer,” you stated, looking him dead in the eye, “I’ve had a complicated childhood.”

“Yeah, I’d say…” he leaned in slightly, “You know, I’ve watched that documentary about your father. His interviews too.”

You raised your brows as he sniffled, trying to look like he was nonchalant about this whole situation.

“And I’ve spent sixteen years on this job,” he said, “After a while, you don’t even need anyone to speak for you to know what they’ve done. It’s all in their eyes and little girl,” he clicked his tongue, “There’s nothing behind your eyes but ice and death.”

You couldn’t cry. You wouldn’t cry. Not in front of people, not even if they tried to kill you. No matter how much they tried to hurt you-

No emotions.

“Impressive,” you managed to say, “Very poetic. Have you ever considered changing your career?”

“You know what I think?”

“I’m sure you’re about to enlighten me.”

“I think you wanted to follow your father’s footsteps,” he said, “I think you killed Anthony, and all those other people. It’s not even your fault, is it? Some people are just born broken.”

That was more than enough to make your eyes snap up to his and you could feel the lump in your throat but you bit your tongue so hard that you swallowed blood, making sure to keep your expression still.

“Nothing to say?”

“You’ve already decided what to think of me,” you said, “And I already told you what happened. What more do you want to hear?”

“Right,” he scoffed, taking a look at the file in front of him, “You went to bed around 12, didn’t wake up whole night, when you woke up you found him like that. Lying in a pool of his own blood, in your kitchen.”

“You don’t look like a whiskey girl.” an unfamiliar voice made you turn your head and you lowered your glass, tilting your head. The guy smiled at you, and stole a look at the whiskey glass you had put on the bar.

“Yeah?” you asked, “What girl am I then? If you’re such an expert?”

He thought for a moment, “Hmm, wine?”

“Depends on the occasion.”

“What kind of an occasion does whiskey call for?”

“Apparently an occasion for meeting guys with bad pick-up lines.”

He let out a chuckle, “Yeah, I swear I’m normally smoother than this.”

“I would hope so,” you grinned, and offered your hand, “Y/N.”

“Anthony.”

“But you failed to mention the part you texted him to come to your apartment.”

“I didn’t text anyone.”

“We have your phone Y/N.”

“I didn’t text anyone,” you repeated, “Someone must’ve drugged me and taken my phone, the same person who killed him, the same person who obviously broke into my apartment.”

“How convenient.”

You clenched your jaw.

“I always wake up during night,” you said, your voice completely calm and controlled. “Always. I never woke up last night, there has to be a reason for that.”

“If you’ve been drugged, it will come up on the blood tests.”

“Good.”

“While we wait for that,” he said, “Why don’t we go over what you did last night?”

You took a deep breath, “I woke up,” you said “Went to work. I left work at 7 to go to my sister’s place. I left there around eleven, came home and went to bed.”

“Nothing else happened.”

“Nothing else happened,” you repeated and he sat up straighter.

“Okay. Well just so you know, Dr. Spencer Reid—” he started and your head shot up, your heart slamming against your chest, “He is giving us his professional opinion at the moment, about this case and what might have really happened this morning. Do you have anything you want to change in your story before he’s finished?”

You gawked at him, blinking a couple of times before you turned your head to look at the one-way mirror on the wall.

The BAU was there, behind the mirror.

“….They came back?”

“We’ve sent them the report, yes. They landed an hour ago.”

It was as if somebody was trying to claw your stomach out of your body as you stared at your reflection in the mirror, trying to ignore the burning behind your eyes before you turned to the officer.

“I don’t have anything to change,” you managed to keep your voice stable, “It was a terrible thing, it definitely was but I didn’t do it.”

Someone knocked on the mirror, making you and the officer look that way before he pushed his chair back and left the interrogation room. You closed your eyes for a moment, focusing on your breathing through the blinding headache but opened your eyes when the door opened again.

Luke.

He offered you a small smile and pulled himself a chair.

“Hi.”

“Hello,” you swallowed the lump in your throat, sitting up with your back straight, your hands clasped.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine,” you stole a look at the one-way mirror, “Is he there?”

“Reid?” Luke asked and shook his head, “I had to basically wrestle him out of the hall, he’s…he’s not allowed here. Conflict of interest. He’s giving his statement at the end of the hall as we speak.”

You nodded, digging your fingernails into your palms. “Okay.”

“He also called your sister on our way here. Couldn’t reach her, but left a message. Listen, he can’t request it on your behalf, but you need to ask for a lawyer.”

“I didn’t kill Anthony.”

“I didn’t ask if you killed him, I’m saying you need to ask for a lawyer.”

“Does he think I did it?” you asked and Luke shook his head again.

“No,” he said, “But it doesn’t matter what anyone else believes at this point, Y/N. Ask for a lawyer.”

You kept your back straight, rolling your shoulders. “If Spencer left a message to Mina, she’s coming.”

“Is she a defense lawyer?”

“No but she knows a lot of them.”

He took a deep breath and put the bottle of your pills on the desk, “The officers also found this.”

You tried your hardest to focus, moving your wrists to help with the soreness of the handcuffs. “They’re prescribed.”

“I can see that. The side effects say confusion?”

You arched a brow, “I’m sorry, do I sound confused to you right now?”

“No, you sound way too controlled right now, I may as well have been talking to a robot.”

You gritted your teeth, trying to control the panic bubbling at the pit of your stomach, sending anger through your veins.

“I’m not confused,” you stated, “Besides, I haven’t been taking them lately.”

He threw his head back, pressing his lips together, “God, Y/N, you can’t say that. A psychiatrist prescribed you something and you—“

“They’re just for nightmares, they don’t make you…” you took a deep breath, commanding yourself to stay calm, “I didn’t kill him. I found him like that. It was terrible, but I didn’t do it.”

Someone opened the door again and Emily Prentiss cleared her throat.

“Luke,” she murmured, “Spencer.”

You could feel your heart skip a beat upon hearing his name but kept completely still as Luke left the room and Emily and JJ walked into the room.

“You’re taking turns now?” you asked and Emily cleared her throat,

“Me and JJ are the only people in our team who haven’t spent as much time with you, so we figured it would be better if we interrogated you.”

“I didn’t do it.”

Emily pulled herself a chair as JJ crossed her arms, standing by the wall.

“Can you walk me through what happened this morning?”

You took a deep breath, “I woke up,” you said, “With a headache. I knew something was wrong, I felt it. My window was open, the front door was half open and my phone wasn’t where I left it. I stepped outside my room, saw the blood, went to the kitchen and saw—“ you gritted your teeth and clenched your fists, “Saw my ex-boyfriend there. Dead. Lying in a pool of his blood.”

“But you heard nothing.”

“I never sleep for the whole night,” you said slowly, “Check my blood test. Something happened last night.”

“We don’t have your blood test results yet, but there was no sign of any sexual—“

“That’s not what I’m talking about.” You cut her off, a shiver running down your spine, “That’s not it. Whoever it was, they didn’t touch me, they wanted…”

“What did they want?”

You shrugged slightly, “I don’t know. They wanted me to see it I think. My…my father’s crime scenes.”

JJ took a deep breath and pushed herself off the wall.

“And you don’t think it’s a little too convenient?”

You pulled your brows together, looking at her and she stepped closer to the table, her eyes fixed on you.

“Two victims so far,” she said, “The ones that we knew that were in the same place as you, they had some connection to you. That woman who was killed at the charity ball, you didn’t get along when you were kids, you turned her down as a client before she was killed, and now your ex-boyfriend ends up dead, in your apartment because you sent him a—“ she scoffed, “I’m sorry, someone sent him a late night text, inviting him to your apartment.”

“JJ,” Emily started but JJ held up a hand while you tried to wrap your head around it.

She had a point. Two victims so far had some connection to you and that was not a coincidence, it couldn’t have been.

“You think I did it,” you rasped out and she scoffed.

“I think you had something to do with all of this,” she said, “I think you’ve been trying to manipulate Spencer for something. The best case scenario, you were cheating, that’s why Anthony was there and something went bad, the worst case….” She shook her head, “You’re behind every single murder we’ve been looking into, and Spencer was just a tool for you. He’s my best friend, and if I find one single proof that you put him in harm’s way, I swear to God I will destroy you.”

Two people had ended up dead, and that was your fault. The copycat was going after people who had some kind of connection to you, and apparently no one except you and your family was safe.

The idea was way too painful to even exist inside your head, but it was clear as day. JJ was right, you were putting Spencer in harm’s way just by being with him, and if it were him, if you had seen him lying in a pool of his blood, his eyes wide open—

You dug your fingernails into your palms until it hurt before you managed to lift your head, that invisible wall which kept you safe from anyone and everyone who could possibly see anything you felt going up again.

“You…” you trailed off, your throat burning, “You don’t have to worry about that anymore.”

“What does that mean?” Emily asked but before you could say anything, someone slammed the door open, making you and the agents turn.

Mina.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” she asked no one in particular and stepped aside so that 4 lawyers could walk inside before the police officer rushed to you to remove the handcuffs off your wrists.

“You’re not saying another word,” she snapped her fingers, “Come on, we’re leaving.”

“We’re going to need her to sign some papers,” the officer said as Mina grabbed your wrist to pull you out of the room, making you hiss in a breath and she froze, lowering her glances to check your sore wrists for any bruises.

“What did they do to you?”

You shook your head silently, and something in Mina’s gaze shifted. You had seen it only a couple of times, including that time you were getting stitches after some girls in your classroom had ambushed you in the bathroom, and more importantly, you had seen that look on her face when Lily had fever that one time and you all had to rush to the hospital and the doctors said she couldn’t see her.

It was fire, similar to yours, ready to burn everything in its path.

“Don’t say anything to anyone. You two,” she motioned at the two lawyers, “Read whatever she’s supposed to sign.”

The lawyers approached the desk by the door as Mina put her coat over your shoulders, rubbing at your arms as you swayed slightly on your feet, trying to focus.

“We’re leaving, okay sweetheart?”

“Miss—“

“No,” When Mina turned to the police officers and the BAU team, any trace of softness in her voice disappeared, “You don’t talk. If you don’t want to get into even more trouble, you’re going to listen to me right now.”

The officer that had been with you at the interrogation room just blinked a couple of times, obviously taken aback.

“Do you have any idea what you just did to yourself?” she asked, “What you did to this whole precinct? Because allow me to explain, my sister was a victim in this scenario, and you tried to pin this shit on her to make her a scapegoat,” she shook her head, “We will be suing you for defamation of character—“

“Mina, your sister—” JJ started but she snapped her fingers at her.

“I haven’t even started with you yet, wait for your turn.”

“Mina…” you murmured but she didn’t even look like she could hear you,

“Where was I? Defamation of character because press will be all over this, intentional infliction of emotional stress and wrongful arrest and hey, to make things fun we will also be requesting the security footage in the interrogation room and if I see one very small slip of anything that wasn’t supposed to be said and done in that room…” Mina tilted her head, “Well, let’s just say that by the time I’m done with you guys and this whole precinct, the only thing you will be able to afford is going to be a typewriter and a desk.”

One of the lawyers came to tell you the document was alright to sign and as soon as you approached the desk, a door by the hall opened and Spencer stepped out.

It was almost excruciating not to be able to run to him. He looked as shocked as he was and he took a step towards you but JJ stepped in front of him as you grabbed the pen, ignoring the way your name spilled from his lips in a whisper.

“Oh, hi genius.” Mina called out, “Were you getting a glass of water while your team was hounding my sister or something?”

Spencer looked almost confused only for a moment before he turned to look at JJ who deliberately averted her glances from him.

“Mina, this is not necessary,” you croaked out as you signed the papers and she shook her head.

“No, this is very necessary, trust me. You need to show these people what you’re capable of or they will try to fuck you up, case and point.” She turned to Emily, “You’re the one in charge, I suppose?”

“I am.”

“Good. Consider this your warning, because the next time anyone in your team, including the puppy dog eyes over there gets any closer to my sister, we will be getting a restraining order for each and every one of you.”

You closed your eyes for a moment, still swaying on your feet and you hugged the coat around you tighter.

Not that you could do anything other than watching this.

“Your sister is an active part of this investigation, your father specifically asked for—“

“My sister is a civilian,” Mina growled, “She has no responsibility for this case, you do. How about you surprise me and do your fucking jobs?”

You took a breath to say it wasn’t fair, that it wasn’t their fault but Mina turned to look at you.

“Get in the elevator, we’re leaving.”

You were way too tired to fight her, way too tired to even stand there so you followed the army of lawyers to the elevator, while Mina shot the officers and the BAU members a fake smile.

“Pleasure, let’s never do this again,” she said, and got in the elevator with you, and you tried to keep your expression still, Spencer staring at you until the doors slid close.

“4 lawyers?” you managed to say, “I don’t think even Bundy had four lawyers.”

“Tell that to mom,” she said, “She was on the phone with a congressman the last I checked.”

You couldn’t even smile at that, but Mina let out a breath before pulling you into a bone crushing hug, making the tears rush to your eyes as you wrapped your arms around her.

“Never do that to me again, you hear me?” her voice cracked for the first time and you nodded slowly.

“I won’t,” you said, “I promise.”

***

It was as if someone had pulled all your energy out of your body. You were exhausted, you could barely understand what anyone was saying but you knew there was no way you could sleep anytime soon.

The blood test, as the lawyers had informed you, finally came back and just like you suspected, they had found traces of chloroform in your system. That and your team of lawyers combined were more than enough to get rid of any kind of accusations against you, so at least you had that.

On the other hand, the fear, the guilt, the sadness were still there inside of you, even if you felt way too numb to reach it.

You wondered if Spencer would have a scientific explanation for that.

Your mother had insisted you would never step a foot into your apartment again, she was already looking for a new apartment for you, one with multiple security systems and until that happened she had told you you would be staying at her house.

The damn thing was way too big anyway and you and Mina had grown up there so you figured it would serve as some sort of shelter.

If it even existed for you.

“Here you go sweetheart,” your mother pushed the tea cup towards you, “Drink it, it’ll make you feel better.”

“I’m fine.”

Kenzie heaved a sigh, “It’s okay if you’re not,” she said, “No one expects you to, anyone would be traumatized.”

“The real estate agent already sent me three apartments,” your mother said, “Huge windows, you love a bright apartment.”

“Mom,” Mina said silently and she heaved a sigh.

“It could help her distract herself,” her head shot up, “Y/N, you should go on a vacation! Somewhere far away from here.”

“Somewhere peaceful could be nice?” Kenzie added, “I think that’s a good idea.”

You and Mina exchanged glances.

“I heard Fiji is lovely this time of the year,” your mother said and you let out a breath.

“Mom, two people died because of me,” you croaked out, “I’m not going to Fiji for vacation.”

“Honey, you could use some peace,” she held your chin carefully and lifted it so that she could look at you better, “You look so…”

“I look like how I feel,” you said and turned your head when the doorbell rang, making Mina sit up straighter.

“Who’s that?” she asked when the maid walked in.

“Spencer Reid?”

“What?” you and Kenzie asked at the same time, your heartbeat getting faster and Mina jumped on her feet but you stopped her, shaking your head.

“It’s okay,” you sniffled, nodding to yourself, “It’s….it’s fine. There’s no point in dragging it out.”

“Dragging what out?” Mina asked you but you walked out of the living room and reached the front door, trying to ignore the warmth filling your system as soon as your eyes caught the sight of him. You stepped out of the house and he pulled you into a tight hug, burying his nose into your hair and inhaling deeply as if it helped him calm down while you just stood there, desperately trying to keep the tears at bay.

You had to do it. No matter how much it hurt you, no matter how much you didn’t want to.

No matter how badly it would rip your heart out.

“You okay?” he asked you, his fingers pushing your hair behind your ear, “I tried your apartment but I figured…”

“Yeah, I’m not going back there,” you shrugged your shoulders, “I’ll move out, it’s fine.”

“Do you want to stay at my place?” he asked quickly and you closed your eyes for a moment, every cell in your body begging you to change your mind.

You couldn’t though. You’d rather die than see him lying in a pool of his blood, all because of you.

“Don’t say that,” you whispered and opened your eyes again, “Please don’t say that.”

He looked almost confused, tilting his head to the side like a puppy before it dawned on him.

“Is this about the file on me?”

You shook your head and he took a deep breath.

“About today?”

“I didn’t send that message,” you said, “To Anthony, I mean. I wouldn’t…. I wouldn’t cheat on you.”

“I know that.”

“And I didn’t kill him. I don’t know if you heard, but the blood tests came back positive for—”

“I never doubted that, not even for one second,” he insisted, “With or without blood test.”

“You might be the only one,” you murmured and he paused for a moment.

“What did JJ say to you?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Because we had an argument on the jet on our way back here and whatever she said…”

You shook your head again, trying to smile.

“I get it,” you murmured, “She’s your best friend, she’s protective of you. That’s normal.”

“Yeah but if she thinks that you’re capable of—”

“I want to break up.”

You could swear the words burned your mouth, some invisible hand clutching your heart tighter and tighter as you willed yourself to keep your eyes on the street, because you were sure that every wall you built to keep your emotions under control would crash down the moment you looked at him. Out of the corner of your eye you could see that he froze and he blinked a couple of times, as if he was lost.

“What?” he asked silently and you tried to swallow the lump growing bigger and bigger in your throat.

“Y/N, wait—no,” he said quickly, breathing hard, “Listen, whatever they said to you today during the interrogation, if that’s what this is about—”

“It has nothing to do with that,” you forced yourself to say, crossing your arms and he took a step closer to you.

“Whatever the problem is,” he rasped out, “We can solve it, okay? Don’t do this.”

That was when it dawned on you.

It wasn’t enough to push him away. You had to make sure to burn that bridge so that neither of you could ever find your way back to each other.

“It’s not one of your cases Spencer, you can’t solve this one,” you muttered and finally turned your head to look up at him, your stomach churning at the sight of betrayal on his face.

“I don’t understand.”

“You—it’s—“ you stammered, trying to find the words, “It’s going way too fast, alright? It’s going way too fast and it’s going to fucking crash, and I can’t—“ you cleared your throat when your voice cracked, “I’m not going to crash with this, I can’t.”

Your father had taught you this way too long ago, when you were too young to even question it.

Stab the prey, twist the knife, pull it back and watch them bleed.

Stab the prey.

“I mean come on Spencer, we’re not in love or anything,” you shrugged your shoulders, “Should be easy enough.”

He stared at you for a couple of seconds, his mouth slightly agape and his brows furrowed, shock written all over his face.

“We’re not in love?” he repeated, “You…you don’t love me?”

Twist the knife.

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

His eyes searched your face, as if looking for any kind of clue that could tell him you were lying, or that it was a trick but for once, it was in vain.

You’d had spent years learning how to control your emotions and your expression when it came to heartbreak.

Pull it back.

“It’s not my fault if you’re in love,” you said, each word making you hate yourself more and more, “I can’t be held responsible for that.”

Stabbing yourself would’ve been less painful, you were sure of that but you knew you had to keep going. One last step, one last sentence and you would be done.

Watch them bleed.

“I never told you to love me.”

Then, silence.

You had to give it to him though, it took him faster than it would’ve taken you to pull yourself together if you were the one on the receiving end of this. He blinked back the tears, clenched his jaw and in a second, his gaze turned cold, exactly like yours.

“Yeah,” he said slowly, nodding, “You didn’t.”

But you had forgotten one small detail.

Spencer knew how to withdraw that knife and stab back.

You cleared your throat and turned around to get inside the house but before you could step in, you heard his voice.

“I was wrong.”

You looked over your shoulder, clutching at the straws to keep it together, “I’m sorry?”

“I was wrong,” he stated, his voice was distant and held no trace of its usual warmth, “Before, I mean. In terms of behavior and psychology, you’re exactly your father’s daughter.”

With that, he walked away from the house, and you just stood there for a moment before stepping into the house and closing the door behind you, that comfortable haze of shock slowly withdrawing from your mind like mist. That hand squeezing your heart twisted it in your chest and you tried to breathe, pressing a hand on your chest.

“Sweetheart?” your mother called out as she stepped into the hallway, then slowly approached you, “You okay?”

It was impossible to stop the tears rushing to your eyes now and a gasp escaped from your lips as you shook your head.

“Mom,” you whimpered, “Please, my—my heart hurts...”

She rushed to you and shushed you gently, pulling you into a tight hug and caressing your hair as you slipped to the ground and you buried your face to her shoulder.

Then the sobs came.

Chapter 18

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid imagines #spencer reid x you #criminal minds #spencer x reader #dr spencer reid #spencer imagine #spencer imagines #reid #spencer #reid x you #reid x reader #reid imagine #criminal minds imagines #twisted

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kpop-sports-books-series-fangirl · 3 years

Text

I’m sorry (Hunger Games)

Masterlist

Request form and prompt list

(Y/N) - Your name

Plot - (Y/N) was captured by the capitol and somehow manages to escape, but their former best friend, Finnick, and the Mockingjay are mad at them because they couldn’t save Peeta and Annie. (Y/N) volunteers to go on the mission to save Peeta, Annie, and Johanna from the capitol.

Warning - Super angsty, mentions of blood, torture, violence and gun shots

“...So, any volunteers?” President Coin asks everyone around the table. Gale Hawthorne is the first to raise his hand. “I’ll go,” he says.

The gloomy atmosphere of the room shifts to one of caution when I speak for the first time in two weeks. “I’ll go too,”

I can’t bear any more of the cold looks of my former best friend. And the glares from the Mockingjay. Was it really my fault that I managed to escape from the capitol? I saw my chance and took it. Being tortured for months was not a good experience and I got out as soon as I could.

I thought my ex-best friend would be happy to see me, but the only thing I see when I look in his eyes is pure hatred for me, pure hatred at the fact that I couldn’t save the love of his life, Annie. Not me, Annie.

Everyone looks at me, shocked at the fact that I’d volunteered to go back to the place that I was imprisoned and tortured. Everyone but Finnick. I looked at him. He avoided my gaze. Surprise.

Sighing, I exited the room, not even waiting for the meeting to be finished. I head back to my room, and look through my things once again, in case I won’t make it back.

I take out the box of my belongings from my district. I picked up the fishing hook that my father gave me the day before he was killed by Snow. I clutched it in my hand and continued looking through the box. The next thing was a necklace, my older sister’s necklace.

I tied it around my neck and observed it through the mirror my mother had bought for my 15th birthday. The last thing that lay in the box was a picture. The picture of me and Finnick back when we were kids.

I had just jumped on Finnick’s back and he ran around like crazy. My sister had taken a picture with her brand new camera which was gifted to her by our parents for her 13th birthday. She lost the camera and I remember looking for it for days and when it didn’t turn up, she cried a lot, feeling like she had betrayed our parents by losing the camera.

One evening, I couldn’t bear to see my sister crying anymore, so I had stomped over to Finnick’s house, dragged him out and made him help me search for it. We had decided to split up and cover more ground, but I got lost.

I tried finding my way back, but I couldn't, eventually, the sun started setting and I found a huge oak tree under which I took shade. My stomach grumbled out of hunger, and me being the 7-year-old I was, had started crying and drifted off into an uncomfortable slumber.

A few hours later, I was shaken awake by Finnick. “Hey, (Y/N), wake up,” He then noticed the tear stains on my face and pulled me into a hug. “Why were you crying?” He asked me. “I got lost, and I was so alone and I got scared,” I admitted to him.

He pulled out of the hug, keeping his hands on my shoulders, and said, “I’m sorry. I won’t ever let you get lost again. If you somehow do still manage to get lost, come to this tree, okay? And I will find you, I promise,”

“Promise?” I asked again. “I promise to always be there for you no matter what!” He says and goes to hold my hand. “I promise to always hold this hand,”

I smiled at him, and he led the way home.

He broke the promise. He broke the promise when he let me be taken by the capitol. Blinking the tears away, I set everything back in the box.

I felt a sudden urge to throw up and ran to the bathroom in my room and coughed out blood. This had been happening for a while now. I thought it was because of the torture that was inflicted upon me, but now, I’m not too sure.

I wash myself up and go to sit on my bed, trying to calm down.

I hear a knock on my door, and I stand up and open the door a crack so no one could even look in. It was Gale.

“We’re leaving tomorrow morning, and we’re meeting for the briefing in an hour,” He said. I simply nodded and shut the door on his face.

☽˚･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ♡ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆☽

We all are geared up and waiting for everyone in the airborne division. We board the hovercraft and take off.

Everyone looks anxious. The hovercraft feels a little more crowded than I like with 7 people aboard. The red lights flashing doesn’t help the nervous energy in the air... Some people are reviewing the plans with each other and I see Gale looking over at me.

I look away and close my eyes, trying to prepare my mind for what I’m about to witness again.

Once we reached there, we entered through a secret passageway that we were informed about through our earpiece. We took out the two guards who were standing guard to the prison area.

One of the people took out a gadget and started to press some buttons, but I wasn’t concentrating, just trying to get myself mentally ready.

The doors opened with a loud hiss, revealing the huge chamber with cells. Everything was white, reminding me of the times when I was trapped in here with nothing else to look at.

All the memories of the place came rushing back.

I was sitting on the floor, clutching my head in an attempt to stop the immense pain traveling through my veins. I hear evil laughter and when I look up, I see Snow. “So, are you ready to speak now?” He asked. “Never!” I spat at him. “Increase it to the highest level,” he said to no one, but I knew that there were people watching and listening from the CCTV cameras, and immediately, the pain intensified by 20 times. I screamed so loud, the whole of Panem probably heard me. When the pain finally died down a bit, my throat was sore by how much I had screamed.

I was snapped back into reality when Gale snapped his fingers in front of me. I noticed that the alarm was triggered and red lights were blaring. I noticed that we have Peeta, Annie, and Johanna with us now and we were heading back to the hovercraft.

I stayed at the back of the group in case a peacekeeper came to attack and followed the rest out through a different passage.

Suddenly, I heard a few shouts “This way! They’re here,” followed by some gunshots. Everyone in front of me was running now, we turned right and hid behind the wall.

I spun around, signaling the others to continue going, and shot at the peacekeepers. They were shooting back of course, but I had a much better aim. I felt pressure in my abdomen and I shot down the last person.

I looked down to see I had been shot, but I covered it with my t-shirt and turned to follow the others.

I managed to jog back to the hovercraft without fainting, although the loss of blood was making me lightheaded. They were trying to get Peeta to trust them and board the hovercraft but he wouldn’t budge.

I couldn’t stand anymore and I collapsed on a seat in the hovercraft. I put my hand on the wound and pressed down on it, hoping to slow the blood flow.

“(Y/N), would you come and help-! What happened!?” I heard someone say in the distance, but I couldn’t make out who it was. I kept drifting in and out of consciousness.

It felt like hours till we made it back to district 13 and I was rushed to an emergency room. They didn’t have any sedatives on hand so they had to take out the bullet with me awake.

The pain was building up now that the adrenaline rush was gone. I couldn’t remember much that happened, just that fact that I was blinded from the pain, I had clenched my fists, trying to somehow grab something, and I heard beeps around me before I completely went out of consciousness.

Once I woke up, the doctors told me that it had been almost a week since the mission. When I had asked them if someone came to visit, they said no. I thought Finnick would come. I thought we were best friends. I thought-

I don’t know why I thought that anymore. If me taking a bullet for his love isn’t enough, I don’t know what else I can do for him. I might as well give up.

No one cares about me. I turned my head so that the doctor couldn’t see the tears threatening to spill from my eyes. I looked down at my hand, the same one Finnick always promised to hold. If he really was my best friend, he would have been there when they were removing the bullet, holding my hand, but he was probably celebrating with Annie.

No one needs me. After my family was killed, no one loved me. No one cared about me and no one needed me.

“We need to run a few more tests on you today, then you can rest,” The doctor told me. I nodded okay. “Doctor, how many days will I have to stay here for?” I asked him.

“You have very bad injuries and it might take more than a month to heal. If the test results are showing that you have another illness, then, we can’t tell until we figure out what you are diagnosed with,”

By the end of the day, I was exhausted and all of the test results had come back. I was resting in my bed, waiting for the doctor to come back, and he came in wearing a regretful expression.

“What happened?” I asked him. “Your results show that you have lung cancer,” “Can you treat it?” I ask even though I don’t know if I want to live anymore.

“We don’t have the resources to treat a Stage 1 cancer here, and you have Stage 4 cancer,” he broke the news.

I took a moment to soak it in before I asked, “How long do I have to live?”

“You should have had 1 month, but because of the bullet, your condition worsened and you just have two weeks left, I’m sorry,” he said and he left the room.

I have two weeks left. Two weeks of my life. I didn’t have anyone to say goodbye to anyways.

After a few days of moping in the hospital room, I find out that Annie and Finnick are going to get married.

On the day of the wedding, I still couldn't get out of the wheelchair, so one of the doctors took me to the wedding.

It was an okay wedding, mostly because it wasn’t me up there, beside’s Finnick. I was sitting at the back of the hall, so no one could see me, I didn’t mind though, I could just watch everything in peace.

Annie and Finnick kiss. They’re married. At least Finnick is happy now, I can see that smile on his face that I couldn’t put there.

A fit of coughs hit me, but the music is too loud and no one cares enough to take a look at me. I start coughing so hard that I’m thrown out of the wheelchair and I can see blood slowly pooling on the floor. A minute later, I collapse, still coughing. Until my eyes close.

Finnick P.O.V

It’s been two days since Annie and I got married, and I’m sitting on the edge of my bed, clutching onto the letter, trying not to cry.

I was just told that (Y/N) died during the wedding due to lung cancer. they left me a note. It said:

Hey Finnick!

I know by the time you read this I’ll be gone. Hopefully to heaven, but with all I’ve done, I wouldn’t be surprised if I go downstairs. Anyways enough about me. I was very angry with you for breaking your promise, but I figured, what good is it to die angry? Might as well live a happy two weeks of life I have left.

I want to get a weight off of my shoulders. I’m sorry I didn’t save Annie when I came back. I should have tried harder. I’m sorry.

I know you won’t miss me when I’m gone, but I’ll miss you. Your friendship. You were there for me through a lot of my hard times, so I want to say thank you.

Thank you for finding me when I got lost. Thank you for defending me against those bullies back in school. Thank you for the happiest times of my life. Thank you for being the reason my smile became just a tiny bit bigger. Thank you for being the reason my heart opened up more. Thank you for making me a better person. Thank you for being the reason to light up my life, even though I wasn’t yours.

Thank you Finnick, thank you.

I just want to say one last thing to you.

I love you.

I always have, even though you never loved me back.

Live a happy life with Annie.

Don’t you dare cry for me.

(Y/N)

I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing anymore. I was the reason for their anger in the last few days of their life. Only if I hadn’t hated them when they came back from the capitol and been thankful, maybe they wouldn’t have gone.

I didn’t even get to apologize to them. The last thing I said to them was “How could you not have gotten Annie back?!”

And they loved me? If only I had known before I met Annie because I was in love with them too.

A/N: I know the timeline is completely messed up, but I couldn't understand the exact timeline in the book, so I went with what felt right. Hope you enjoy it! :)

-TheBlueBookworm is out~!!!

#hunger games #finnick odair #finnick x reader #finnick x annie #finnick angst #gale hawthorne

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