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alessiasfreckles · 2 months

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amnesia - part 5 (ona batlle x reader, alexia putellas x reader, ona batlle x alexia putellas)

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4

warnings: none

a/n: this is my favourite chapter so far!! twice as long as the other parts, hope y'all enjoy (also thank you to @codiemarin for plot help!!)

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You steeled yourself, leaning on your crutches, and rang the doorbell. Ona had suggested that she come to your place, so that you wouldn’t have to move too much, but you felt cooped up and restless, so you asked if you could meet at hers. Besides, you figured it probably made sense to go somewhere that you seemed to have spent a lot of time before the accident - even if you were apprehensive about seeing Ona.

When she opened the door, you were immediately struck by how exhausted she looked. As beautiful as ever, of course, but there were dark bags under her eyes, and they looked puffy, like she’d been crying.

“Hi!” she said, trying to keep her voice upbeat. “Was your journey okay?”

“Yeah, it was fine. Ale drove me,” you gestured to the car, where Alexia had been waiting to make sure you got inside okay. You knew that if you asked, she would have come inside with you, but you felt like this should be between you and Ona.

“Oh, good,” Ona waved to Alexia, who waved back before driving off. “You want to come inside?”

Nodding, you followed her through the door of her apartment building. The ride in the elevator was quiet, but as the bell dinged and you reached Ona’s floor, a memory appeared in your mind, of you and Ona. You were furiously making out in the elevator, hands desperately trying to touch anywhere they could on each other’s bodies, only breaking apart when the doors opened so that the brunette could take your hand and drag you into her apartment.

The mental image made you blush, and you felt that same urge to kiss Ona that you had in your apartment, just a couple days ago. You pushed it down, trying your best to ignore it, curious to see what her place looked like.

“Oh,” you said, walking into her apartment.

So, this was what home felt like. There was no other way to describe it. It was like every atom in your body heaved a deep sigh of relief, and you felt instantly as peace.

“Hm?” she gave you a questioning look, one eyebrow raised.

“Nothing, it- it just feels like home,” you explained.

As you followed Ona into her living room, your knees almost buckled underneath you as you were hit by waves and waves of memories. Countless nights spent cuddled up on the sofa, watching TV, playing games. Your arms wrapped around Ona’s waist as she cooked, placing soft kisses against the nape of her neck. Dancing to music in the kitchen, loudly singing along, bursting into giggles.

Your first kiss happened here. On the sofa, you’d been talking, flirting, drinking a little, when you leant over and kissed her.

“Are you okay? Here, sit down,” Ona asked, a concerned look on her face. She guided you to the sofa, one hand on your arm and the other on the small of your back, and you sat down with a soft thump. “Let me get you some water.”

Placing the glass on the table, she carefully sat down next to you. She watched your eyes rake over every inch of the apartment, waiting to see any signs of recognition.

“Do you remember anything new?”

“Yeah, I remember- so much,” you said, your voice thick. The onslaught of memories was making you choke up, your emotions soaking them up like a sponge. “I remember our first kiss, I remember dancing with you, I remember telling you I love you, I remember you trying to teach me how to cook your grandma’s recipe, I remember so many things.”

Ona’s eyes were wide and brimming with tears. She hadn’t wanted to get her hopes up, she had tried to prepare herself for you not to remember anything new, for you not to remember any of your relationship. She had been so focused on not letting herself even imagine the possibility of you remembering anything. And yet, here you were.

“You- you do?” she asked, her voice trembling.

You nodded, and wordlessly, Ona hugged you tightly, her arms wrapped around your shoulders. You could feel her body shaking, and when you wrapped your own arms around her, pulling her closer against you, it was like a wall in your mind was broken down. Feelings of love, comfort, and relief flooded through your body, and as she felt you pulling her closer, Ona’s body sagged against yours.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, and even though you couldn’t see her face, you knew she was crying. “I’m so, so sorry. I never should have lied to you. I’m so sorry, I was so scared, but I shouldn’t have lied.”

“It’s okay,” you murmured, rubbing her back with one hand. “It’s okay.”

And it was. You were still upset about the lying, but you understood why she did it. More importantly, you knew that she loved you, and that you loved her. You had never been more sure of anything in your life - even without your memories, even if you still didn’t fully know who you were, you knew that you loved Ona, and nothing would change that.

“No more lying, I promise. No more secrets,” Ona said as she pulled back from the hug, wiping her damp eyes.

“That sounds good to me,” you smiled. Except… “There’s something I should tell you. Ale said, um, that she likes me. Romantically, I mean. She didn’t want to lie to me. But we said that everything will stay the same. I just thought you should know, since we’re being honest, and all.”

“Oh,” the brunette frowned. Her stomach was in knots, but she wasn’t sure why. She could recognise the feeling of jealousy, a voice in the back of her mind screaming ‘Mine!’, and surely it was you the voice meant. That would make sense. She was jealous that Alexia liked you, because you were hers, not Alexia’s. Right?

“Is that okay?” you asked gently, smoothing out the line between her eyebrows with your thumb. You weren’t sure why, it just felt like the right thing to do.

She smiled at you, leaning into your touch. “Yes. You always used to do that, you know? When I was worried, or upset. I wouldn’t even know I was frowning sometimes until you did that.”

“Really?”

“Mh-hm. You’re a very touchy person - you always want to have your hands on me, or be touching,” Ona said, nodding down to where your leg was pressed flush against hers, your other hand on her knee.

“Oh, sorry,” you quickly moved your hand, cheeks burning, but she caught it and put it back.

“No, I like it.”

You spent the next few hours talking about everything and anything, your relationship, your friendship, training. When your phone rang it made you jump, pulling you out of the conversation with a jolt.

“Oh, it’s Ale,” you said, looking down at your phone. “I told her I would message her when we were down so she could pick me up. I didn’t realise so much time had gone by!”

Ona’s face hardened slightly at the mention of the blonde, just for a second, before relaxing again. She watched you talk on the phone, telling Alexia you’d be right down before hanging up.

“I’ll walk you down,” she said, helping you up off the sofa. As the two of you walked, her hand was comfortably on your waist, like it belonged there. In the elevator, you thought about what you’d remembered on the way up, and blushed again.

“Will you kiss me?” you asked. “It’s okay if you don’t want to yet, I just-”

“No, I want to!” Ona quickly interrupted you. “Are you sure?”

You nodded, and she smiled with relief before leaning in. Her lips were soft against yours, and the kiss was over before it had even started, Ona worried about pushing you too far. You couldn’t help but smile as she pulled away, your body finally feeling somewhat at peace.

As the two of you walked to the front door, you could see Alexia waiting in her car outside. She waved to you, and as you started to leave, Ona grabbed your arm.

“Wait,” she said, and pulled you into another kiss. This one was harsher than the first one, more desperate, but over just as soon. “Okay, now you can go.”

“I take it the two of you made up?” Alexia asked dryly as she helped you into the car.

“Oh, uh, yeah,” you blushed, realising she’d seen the whole thing. “Sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologise,” she said, a wry smile on her face. “I dealt with it before and I can deal with it now. I’m a big girl, it is okay.”

You nodded, but still felt bad. Something about your guilty conscience was off, though. It didn’t seem like it was just because Alexia had seen you and Ona, it felt like there was more to it than that.

When Ona arrived at training the next day, she was riled up. She had spent the night tossing and turning, thinking about what you’d told her about Alexia’s feelings, and had decided she was going to confront the captain. Admittedly, she wasn’t sure what she was confronting her about - it wasn’t like she could ban Alexia from having feelings for you, but she figured that she could decide exactly what to say once she was there.

The door to the changing room flung open, and Alexia looked up in surprise. She was always at the training grounds early, and it would be at least another 30 minutes before her teammates started to arrive. Ona stormed into the room, the door closing with a loud bang behind her.

“We need to talk,” she said, folding her arms and looking down at the captain, who was sat on the bench.

“Okay,” Alexia said. “Go ahead.”

“You have feelings for Y/N?”

Alexia nodded calmly. She thought it might be about that. “She told you?”

“Si,” Ona nodded curtly. “Why did you never tell me? How long have you had feelings?”

The blonde shrugged. “Why would I tell you? I didn’t want to get in the way. It started after she came here, I suppose.”

“Why? Why her?”

“What do you mean, why her? For the same reasons you love her, most likely.”

“No, but,” Ona huffed impatiently. “I just-”

“What is this really about?” Alexia asked, standing up. Ona suddenly felt very small as the captain stood, looking down at her.

“This is about your feelings!” Ona said, trying to stand her ground.

“But my feelings should not be a problem for you?” the blonde countered, one eyebrow raised.

“Well, they are, okay? They’re a problem because it’s making things confusing!”

“Oh? What things are my feelings making confusing?”

“Well, I- You-,” Ona stammered.

“Maybe it’s you whose feelings are confused,” Alexia said, her tone light, almost teasing, and Ona blushed.

“What? No, my feelings aren’t confused. Or, well, maybe they are, but it’s your fault, and-”

“Why are your feelings confused? Why is it my fault?”

Ona bristled, getting riled up again at the casual tone the captain was using. “It’s your fault because… because…”

“Because?”

“Because you used to feel that way about me! You used to look at me the way you look at her now, you used to look after me and take care of me and want to spend time with me!”

Ona’s mouth was open as she realised what she’d said, her eyes wide.

“Oni, I-” Alexia started to talk when the younger player interrupted her, realising that if she’d said all that she might as well keep going.

“It’s not fair! I want you to feel that way about me again!”

Alexia sighed, her heart hurting for Ona. “Oni, I do still feel that way about you. I care about you both, so, so deeply.”

“You do?” the brunette’s voice was small, her brows furrowed.

“Yes, I-”

Alexia was cut off by Ona reaching up and pulling her into a bruising kiss. She couldn’t help but wrap an arm around Ona’s waist, her other hand gently cradling her cheek. She had wanted to do this for so long.

A door opened somewhere with a bang, the sound echoing through the mostly empty training facility, and the two broke apart with a jump.

“Fuck,” Ona whispered. “What are we going to tell Y/N?”

#hannah writes fics #ona batlle #ona batlle x reader #ona batlle fanfic #ona batlle imagine #alexia x reader #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas fanfic #ona batlle x alexia putellas #alexia putellas x ona batlle #woso fanfic #woso #woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso imagine

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softgreengrass · 3 months

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The Gold

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: angst, au where clint dies on vormir instead of natasha, set a few months after endgame, relationship troubles😬

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: survivor’s guilt, breakup

Author’s Note: based on “the gold” by manchester orchestra and phoebe bridgers

You wake to birds chirping. Natasha has opened the window. She’s nowhere to be seen, probably in the kitchen or out for a run. All at once, a crushing melancholy falls onto your chest, the one that’s been appearing with increasing frequency ever since she returned.

She hadn’t wanted to come back; anyone could see that. She wished she was dead instead of Clint, instead of Tony. And she meant it. She wanted to be dead.

Because of that, it had never felt like a victory to you. You knew the others agreed —Wanda, Peter, Bucky— but that didn’t make it much easier.

Even the things Thanos hadn’t taken, he had changed.

You get up slowly, all too aware of the lump in your throat and the fragility of your heart. If Natasha so much as looks at you wrong this morning, you’ll lose it. Again.

You know she’s tired of it, of your mood swings and sensitivity, but it all stems from her and she knows that too. Those first few weeks after her return had set a certain tone.

Natasha is standing at the kitchen counter, staring at the coffee pot. You know why instantly. You always do.

“I forgot how he used to drink straight from this,” she murmurs.

“I know.”

You’ve grown used to Natasha’s blank stare: it doesn’t twist your heart the way it used to. Some days you think she found your biggest store of sympathy and dried it all up. You shuffle past her, open the freezer, and pull out hash browns.

“I was going to visit Laura today,” she says numbly.

“You visited her yesterday, baby,” you say, glancing up at her as you dump the hash browns onto a pan. “I think she’s okay for today.”

Natasha swallows. You can see the pain in her eyes, the sinkhole of regret. “I don’t have any other plans.”

“You could stay home with me.”

Your tone is neutral, but you know she picks up on the hope in it. And you can feel the distance that grows between you the longer she takes to answer.

“Come on, Nat,” you smile, like your eyes aren’t already stinging with tears.

“I want to be useful,” she pleads. “I… you’re too good to me here. I can’t be useful.”

It takes you a second to process what on earth she could possibly mean. Natasha stands quietly.

In another life, you could’ve said the words on your tongue. Could’ve told her that you need her like water, that the most useful thing she could possibly do is just be with you. But you know you can survive without her. At this point she must know that too.

And yet, there’s something yearning in her eyes, like she has faith in you.

The hash browns crackle and give you an excuse to look at them instead of her.

Somewhere deep inside of you, you know Natasha has always been fine without you. She doesn’t love you in the way you love her, in the way that would summon sympathy and energy out of thin air. She used to, maybe. It’s all bitter on your tongue.

She clears her throat. “I got an email. Apparently they want to give us medals.“

“You brought back half the universe. The least you deserve is a medal.”

You know what she wants to say to that. The silence is frustrated and thick, the lump in your throat quickly returning. You hate that nothing is easy anymore.

“I’m going to Laura’s,” she says eventually.

You can’t find it in you to respond; you can barely make yourself nod. The oil on the pan bubbles and spatters violently, and you realize that’s how your blood feels, singing your arteries and your veins and your heart.

When the door closes behind her, you close your eyes.

Your dad’s face comes to mind. “Don’t open your eyes for a while,” he used to say, his voice gravelly but gentle. “Just breathe that moment down.”

It had helped, especially in your teenage years when you were quick to anger and quicker to hurt. Regret used to swallow you whole. You had told Natasha that once, years ago, when you visited his grave together for the first time. She had been polite.

You don’t want to resent her. God, how you don’t. But the past couple of months have worn you down to the bone, and it would be one thing if she was fighting too, but she gave up on that cliff. You don’t know how much longer you can do all the caring for.

And it’s not like your relationship was perfect before, either. You had met her at a high point. It had always been a steady decline.

A hard wave of guilt nearly knocks the breath out of you, and you have to grip the counter to keep your balance. You love her. You’ll fight for as long as you can.

You eat the burnt hash browns right out of the pan, even though you don’t feel hungry.

By ten, Natasha still hasn’t come home, and you’re back in bed, blinking back more tears, since that feels like all you do nowadays. Now accompanying the gloom and guilt in your ribcage is an unrelenting discomfort. It’s that same old helpless feeling, the one that knows things are going to change and there’s nothing you can do about it.

The vertigo of it all rocks you to sleep.

You make it another week before one of Natasha’s nightmares wakes you up and you’re so full of discontent you can’t breathe. Still, you swallow it down and find her hand in the dark.

“Nat, you’re right here,” you whisper.

A squeeze of her hand and she opens her eyes, frantically looking around.

“It was just a dream.”

Wild eyes find your own; a sheen of sweat coats her face. Her breath heaves. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” The words burn in your throat. How many times will you have to tell her that?

Her head falls back against the pillow with a sigh.

Your eyes ache for sleep, but then there it is again, that realization that soon you might never be in bed with her again. You’re not sure how to appreciate it fully.

“Are you hungry?” she asks coarsely, staring up at the ceiling.

You’re not. “I could eat.”

She smears peanut butter onto toast into the kitchen, gives the first one to you. It must be the millionth time the two of you have been in the kitchen together, dark circles under your eyes and hair frizzy.

“You know I wish none of that ever happened,” Natasha says softly.

“Of course,” you furrow your brow. “I wish it didn’t either.”

“No, I mean,” she huffs. “I wish we didn’t change. I wish I didn’t change.”

It’s like something has pierced your heart. You can’t find anything to say to comfort her, because you wish that just as much as she does.

“I don’t want you to go,” she admits, her bottom lip quivering. “But I don’t want to hold you back just because I’m stuck.”

“Nat…”

She swallows thickly. “It’s your choice.”

You hate that you already know your answer, that you’ve known it for so long. You hate it.

Your arms wrap around her tightly as you take in her softness and her scent again. Her cheek is damp against your shoulder, your own eyes welling with relentless tears.

It feels like stiff fingers prodding at your throat and your chest: it makes you want to curl into a ball. You’re horrified at the idea of a life without her, especially one where you know she’s still walking around. But it’s either drown or freefall, and you need to give yourself a chance.

“I’m sorry, baby,” you mutter into her neck.

“It’s okay,” she whispers. “I’m sorry too.”

She holds you as wave after wave of bittersweet relief and regret crash over you, and you fall asleep in each other’s arms once more. The next morning she helps you gather your things.

#natasha romanoff x reader #angst #natasha x reader #black widow x reader #black widow #natasha romanoff #mcu #marvel #scarlett johansson x reader

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leafsgarbage · 1 year

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leave before you love me | m.a.

A/N: It was hard to figure out how to go about this one

Synopsis: He doesn’t really want you to care for him and the little scars he hides so well

Genre: Band!AU, fluff, angst (duh)

Warnings: drug use, strip clubs, toxic relationship,

Pairings: leadsinger!Atsumu x f!reader, timeskip!Atsumu x f!reader.

Main Masterlist

preview,

“We’re going tomorrow night.” Mila says to you. She’s been raving about this band for the longest time. “Taro is opening for them!”

You pull up your head from the kitchen table, you got home 20 minutes ago from working at the club and your head hurts. She knows you love Taro which is why she used that against you. “Fine. I’m not working tomorrow anyway.”

She claps her hands together. “Maybe you could wear what you’re wearing now! Your bodysuit looks cute. Did they tip you for handing them drinks.”

You smile, remembering it was a busy Thursday. “Yea, a bachelor party came in, and although I think they’re absolute pigs, they do tip a shit ton.”

“Ugh, I wish, my shift starts at seven pm, and I finish at midnight so I’ll meet you at the club they’re performing at.” She looks at her watch and notices it’s about six am. “Agh, go to sleep ok, get some rest.”

“G’night.” You change out of your clothes, shower, and then you fall dead on your bed.

You hardly ever have dreams, but this time, you dreamt that you and Mila were somewhere better than a scruffy two bedroom apartment in the middle of Chicago. Despite the shitty apartment, you two had a wonderful view of the city, and that was about the nicest thing you had.

Working as a waitress definitely helped you be able to pay your rent and own a couple of nice things. You love the girls you met there, but you just aren’t sure if this is what you want to be doing forever. There was just never another option for you.

When you wake up its one in the afternoon. You have a long day before you have to meet up with Mila, so you clean the house, make breakfast, and get ready to head to the gym.

It’s about 5pm when you walk in and spot Kenma and Kuroo, your friends from the orphanage. “Hey!” You wave them down and Kuroo gives a big and bright smile while Kenma waves slightly. They own the gym chain after Kenma made a fortune doing what he loves and Kuroo was a good business partner. They’re like you and Mila, joint together. “I haven’t seen you guys around here in forever! What are you guys doing?”

“Monthly inspection at the gyms.” Kenma replies.

Kuroo spits and laughs. “There’s a band that this kid likes in town, so we decided to kill two birds with one stone.”

You think for a second. “Is it the Jaguars or something? Mila and I are going to that too, tonight.”

“It’s The Jackals,” Kenma corrects.

Kuroo points at Kenma then looks back at you. “Did you get reeled in because she said-”

“Taro was going to be there, yes I did.” You two laugh together. Kuroo introduced you to Taro, he’s very big and upcoming, but you assume The Jackals are too since so many people like them. “Do you guys wanna work out with me? Its leg day.”

The two of them cross their arms in an X and shake their heads. “Last time we did that, Kenma was bedridden, and my co-workers made fun of me, so no thank you Sweetie.”

You laugh and punch Kuroo’s shoulder, everyone at the orphanage called you a sweetheart, so Kuroo aptly nicknamed you Sweetie. “Alright you big babies, I’ll see you at the concert.” They wave goodbye and you get to work.

You pull up your workout playlist and decide to add some of The Jackals’s song that would fit your workout playlist. You add Hardest to Love, Starboy, When will I See You Again, and Gimme Love. The first song was upbeat and everything, but the message behind it was so sad. He’s singing how hard it must be to love him and he feels bad that the other person tries so hard and puts up a front to be with him. Obviously at the end, they eventually give up and he talks about how he knew this was going to happen.

Your heart clenches, but you continue to the next song. Starboy was even more upbeat that the last, but it was very accusatory. Like they were pointing a finger at someone and telling them ‘look what you did to me.’ You liked it.

When Will I See You Again was softer than the other two and it was sweet. Not as loud about their feelings as the other ones. It was just about holding someone close to them after them being away.

Then Gimme Love was about a relationship that was pretty doomed, but he can’t help but stay and try his best. He wants what they used to be, and even though it’s not good now, he can’t let go of them.

You listen to your regular playlist by Taro after you finish your squats and head to the leg press. You loved all his songs, but Psycho and Stay were your favorites, you just hoped he played them at his concert.

Once you finish up your workout its already 7pm. You head back home, eat dinner, and go shower again. You get ready in your concert clothes with your boots so your feet don’t die in the mosh. You also put on some makeup, jewelry, and perfume so you don’t smell too bad.

It’s 11pm once you finish and you rush out to get on the train. It’s about a 30-minute ride and you continue to listen to your Taro playlist, excited to see him so soon.

You get off on your stop and walk to the venue. It’s at an underground club in Chicago, they aren’t big artists yet, so the venues are smaller. You were there decently early, there were only about a handful of people so you grabbed a drink and sat at the bar.

You texted Mila to tell her were you were and she said she was leaving the club already. You texted Kuroo and he said they were driving and there was a crazy amount of traffic. So you just sat by yourself.

“Hey, can I get a blue moon.” The bartender cracks one open and hands it to him. “Thanks.”

You chuckle at the guy and he looks at you questioningly. “No orange?” You ask. Normally most people drink it with an orange.

He looks down at his drink and nods. “Didn’t feel like an orange kinda night.”

“I guess that’s fair.” You shrug and continue to sip on your drink.

“What about you, what are you drinking?”

You smile and nod your head. “Uh, sprite, ha.” The man chuckles.

He has a wonderful smile, you note, and his physique is quite impressive. “What are ya doin’ here so early? Big fan?”

“Um, my roommate told me to be here at midnight, so I like to be punctual.” You shrug

He nods in understanding and begins to take a seat next to you. “What’s yer name?”

You tell him. “You can just call me Sweetie. What about you?”

His eyes widen and you don’t know what you did wrong. “So, you came here, just for yer roommate, not cause you know the band that’s playin’ tonight?”

You shake your head. “I know Taro, and I just started listening to a few of the The Jackals’s songs today.”

He sets his beer down on the table and crosses his arms. “And which of their songs are yer favorite right now?”

You hum and think for a bit. “I think it’s Hardest to Love. I liked the openness of it. How he understands that he’s not easy to handle, but that he did love the person and he wishes he could have fixed it if only he knew how. I think it’s a pretty message and relatable. Shit happens, and you never know how to handle every situation.”

At the time you didn’t hear it, but he lets out a breath and then just smiles at you. “Wow, you really analyze songs a lot.”

You smile sheepishly and drink your soda. “I really like music, so I’m never opposed to listening to new artists.”

“That’s good to know.” He finishes the last of his beer and gets up. “I gotta run, but you enjoy the show.” You wave back about to ask for his name, but he’s already gone.

Not long after, Mila, Kuroo and Kenma show up. The four of you make your way to the front, and since you were there early, everything worked out. “Gahh I’m so excited Sweetie!”

“Me too! I’m so excited for Taro.” You and Kuroo fist bump and wait impatiently.

An MC comes out on stage to introduce. “How are all you gorgeous people doin’ tonight.” There’s a bunch of woo’s and yea’s coming from the crowd. “I won’t take up too much of your time, so first up we got Taro-” the crowd screams, you and Kuroo are among them. “Alright settle down, he’s performing four songs for you today. Then The Jackals will come in as your main set.”

Everyone claps and waits for the MC to finish. “Without further ado… make some noise for TARO!”

You and Kuroo are screeching, clapping your hands together. Taro comes out in some chains, a mesh shirt which has everyone going apeshit, sneakers, and a bucket hat. Everyone’s still screaming by the time he gets to the mic. “Alright, shut up you fucks.”

Everyone laughs and a few people scream ‘we love you Taro!’

He laughs into the mic and nods. “Yea I love you guys too. Now let’s get this going, what song are we thinking?”

Your mouth moves before you could even think. “PSYCHO!” You screech, but then get embarrassed after realizing how loud you were.

He laughs again, grabbing the mic off the stand and squats down in front of you. “Fitting, since you’re all a bunch of little psychos.” He rubs the top of your head with his hand and gets up. “Let’s get it.”

You die internally because holy shit, Taro touched you. You don’t have time to bask in it though because his number starts and you and Kuroo need to go crazy for it. He starts, “Yea my AP goin’ psycho…”

Taro’s numbers are to die for and everyone is having a great time. Before you know it, he’s on his last song of the night. “It’s been fun you guys, so let’s end it with Stay.”

You want to cry because that’s all you wanted. When he gets to the chorus, you and Kuroo yell, “but don’t count on me to stay!”

Taro finishes up and you’re sad to see him go. “Thank you Chicago! I’ll miss my hometown. We’ll see each other soon.” He winks at the crowd and you all cheer him off.

The MC comes back as the people behind him change up the set. “Alright, and our main set. Everyone, please welcome in The Jackals!” Mila is jumping and yelling while Kenma is just clapping, but he has this big smile on his face. You go to tie your shoes since someone stepped on your laces and undid them.

When The Jackals come up, the lead singer steps in front of the mic while the other three set up. “Hey everyone, if you don’t know,” you recognize the voice and you stand back up so quickly only to see the lead singer, the man you talked to at the bar looking down at you. “I’m Atsumu, the lead singer, that’s Shoyo on guitar, Kiyoomi on bass, and Kotaro on drums.” You stand unmoving, completely lost. How could you not know. “Now, I know we were gonna open with Starboy, but I’ve been convinced to start with Hardest to Love so enjoy this everyone.”

He smiles in your direction, and this does not go unnoticed by your roommate. “Sweetie, what in the hell happened.”

You stood there, still shocked. “All I did was make fun of his beer.”

Atsumu starts, “You try with me so many times…”

Regardless of anything, Atsumu had a wonderful voice that hit every note you could think of. High, low, whatever, he could do it. You didn’t know, but The Jackals knew he was showing off and just smirked to themselves.

Once he finishes he moves on. “Did you guys like that?” The crowd howls at him making him smile and chuckle. “We’ve got 8 more songs, let’s make this count, yea?” Everyone is excited and pumped up.

You try to enjoy the songs, but how can you when he’s looking at you so intensely. You decide to ignore it and have a fun time with your friends.

The last song comes up and it’s Cough Syrup, you haven’t listened to it so you decided to pay attention to the lyrics. It’s a great song, it helps slow down the fast tempo everyone was cheering at and is a great closing number. You make eye contact with Atsumu, a blush appears on your face but you refuse to look away.

Still, it doesn’t help that he’s looking at you with a grin on his face singing into the microphone. You can’t help it that he looks so incredibly attractive while doing it. It’s not your fault.

The music slows and Atsumu sings the last line, “One more spoon of cough syrup, now woah.” Everyone’s cheering and clapping while the band all gets on one knee and thanks everyone.

“Thank you Chicago, yer always my best crowd. Just tell Taro that yer all my hometown.” The crowd laughs and claps to the singer, he pushes his hair back with a hand, sweat prominent on his features. “Love ya.”

“We love you!” Everyone yells back at him. He smiles and waves goodbye, then everyone goes on their own way.

Atsumu is still there looking at you, he mouths to you ‘come backstage with your friends.’ You nod, unable to do anything else. “Hey guys, follow me.” They all do without question.

When you get to their room, there’s a man in front of the door. “You are?” He asks.

“Um, I’m y/n, Atsumu said to come back here.” He nods and opens the door for you. It’s all the band members sitting on the couch and Taro, except for Kiyoomi who’s in the shower.

“Sweetie! Hi.” He kisses the side of your cheek to welcome you and you’re taken aback, but don’t say anything of it. “Yer all her friends?”

Mila is frozen, her dreams coming true all at once. “Mila.” She says pointing to her self. The Jackals and Taro chuckle at her while Atsumu shakes Kuroo’s and Kenma’s hands.

“It’s nice to meet you all.” You say nodding your head in their direction.

Suna gets up and rubs your head. “You’re the psycho girl.”

“What?” Atsumu asks confused and your cheeks flush bright red.

“She asked me to play Psycho really loud. Good choice by the way.” You thank him for his music and Kuroo begins to engage in conversation with him.

Mila and Kenma somehow get talking to Shoyo and Kotaro in the meantime. “Cat got yer tongue?” Atsumu teases.

You roll your eyes, your previous nervousness fleeing, it’s just something about him. “Please, I was just feeling nervous.”

He chuckles at you. “Did ya like the show?”

“Yea, Taro was great, your voice broke a couple times though.” You tease back.

“What, there’s no way-” your laugh cuts him off and he pouts. “Not funny.”

You smile and pat his shoulder. “I think you did great, really. I liked all of the songs.” You’re staring at each other for too long and there’s just something there that you can’t deny.

He leans in to whisper in your ear, sending chills down your spine. “Would ya like to come over to my apartment?” You don’t want to get too attached to a singer, but you wouldn’t be opposed to it either. A night with him and maybe a little more doesn’t seem like a bad idea at all.

“Alright.” You smile.

Despite common stereotypes, Atsumu was a gentleman above all else. He made sure you were comfortable, gave your roommate his address in case she wanted to go check on you, and asked if you were alright all the time.

“If I wasn’t ok, I would’ve kicked you and ran away with your car.” He chuckles and continues to change the gear on his car. “What’s it’s name again.”

He revs the engine. “Aran.”

“Ohh, where’d you get that name from?” You ask.

Atsumu shifts in his seat a bit and comes to a stop at a red light. “My brother and I used to live in a pretty bad neighborhood, and Aran was our friend. He was older than us so he and another guy named Shin were like family to us along with Rintaro.” He sighs and puts the car into gear to drive. “Anyway, when we were 17 Aran joined the army to help support his family, but he ended up in a crossfire and passed away.”

There was a lump in your throat and you weren’t sure what to say. “I’m glad I got to meet one Aran then.”

You thought he was going to stare you down but he just laughed. “Me, too. He was awesome.”

“I didn’t really live in the greatest place either, lots of kids I knew went to join the army, but I never heard if they were ok.” You fiddle with your hands a bit.

He asks, “Where did you live?”

“I grew up in the orphanage not too far from the venue you were at. I met all my friends there. They kind of kick you out as soon as you’re 16.” You shrug.

“Damn.” Atsumu says. “What’ve you been doin’ since then.”

“Work to live?” The two of you chuckle. “I work at a strip club in the heart of Chicago, I’m a waitress. I can’t dance for shit.”

He laughs at you and you just smile. “That’s good, let me know where and I’ll visit ya sometime.”

“I’m honored that you would pay me such a visit.” You push his shoulder and the two of you laugh together in the car.

You’re about to go down a steep hill but stop at the top. “My apartment is just down there.” He points all the way at the bottom. “We’re gunning it down.”

“Atsumu no-”

“Atsumu yes.” He winks and before you can say anything, you’re rolling down the hill grabbing onto Atsumu’s arm for dear life, eyes locked on the downhill road. You’re yelling and Atsumu is just laughing at you before coming to a hard stop at his place. “We made it.”

You look at him, arms shaking. “I’m gonna kill you.”

He smiles and kisses your cheek. “Chin up, let’s go eat, I’m starvin’.” The small kiss takes you aback, but you hop out of the car and follow him. He holds out his hand and you take it. He leads you up the stairs and into his apartment. “Sorry it’s kinda a mess.” He scratches the back of his head.

There’s papers all over and instruments all over the place, even a picture of him and- “Did you photo shop that?” It was a picture of him and someone who looked just like him on a volleyball court with seven other people

He looks to the picture you point at and laughs. “No, that’s my brother, we’re twins.”

“I feel bad for your mom, you guys must’ve been a handful.” You smile.

Atsumu nods, placing pizza into the microwave, a small smile spreading on his face. “She was great though, never gave up on us.” He looks up and his face drops. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking-”

You hold up a hand and shake your head. “Don’t worry about it, I know you didn’t mean anything by it. Single parents are badass.”

He agrees. “D’ya know anything about yer ma?”

You shake your head. “No, I don’t even know if I want to, you know? It’s been so long, knowing who she is now would just make me so angry.”

The microwave dings and he goes to grab the pizza. “Follow me.” He leads you up yet another flight of stairs, but once you get to a door, the cool Chicago breeze welcomes you and you find yourselves on the attic.

You take in the beautiful view that surrounds you. The lights overwhelmingly yellow and orange, cars driving by, trains, busses, and the beautiful sky, that due to the pollution, only the moon was visible. There were a few stars here and there, ones that never quit. “This is everything. I can’t go back home now that I’ve seen this.”

“Then don’t.” Atsumu shrugs taking a bite of his pizza, offering you a slice. You decline.

You and him sit across from each other on these lawn chairs looking at the sky. When he finishes his slice you turn to him. “Why did you want me to come with you.”

“The truth?” He asks. You nod. “I was really just lookin’ for a nice night, but after talkin’ to ya, I think it’d be safe to say I’m glad I met ya.” Why is it that you’ve only just met and he causes your heart to flutter like this. This was cosmic, you felt it in your bones, and whether or not Atsumu wanted to admit it, he knew that too. Knew that you would be someone special, someone he wouldn’t let himself have, but he ignored all that. “Why did you accept?”

You shrug. “Random hookup didn’t seem like a bad idea. I got swept away by your rocker singer persona or whatever.” He smiles at you and grabs a hold of your hand. You don’t want to ask if he’s looking for a relationship, because you’re scared of the answer. You want him to keep holding your hand just as he is. “Why did you become a singer?”

“It was actually my second dream.” You sit up and turn to face him. “I wanted to become a pro-volleyball player, but our school wasn’t well equipped with training to even get past the first round in a tournament. I didn’t want to burden my ma.”

“For what it’s worth, I think, maybe in another life, you’re doing just that.” He chuckles and squeezes your hand. “Is your dad not in the picture?”

He shakes his head. “Nah. He took off after our fourth birthday. He was shit dad for the time he was there anyway, so I’d like to say we were better off without him.” Atsumu pulls out his phone and plays a song on it. You haven’t heard it before, but you recognize his voice through the speakers. “Dance with me?”

You get up and place your hand on his shoulder and the other in his hand while he wraps his other one securely around your waist. “Which one of your songs is this?”

“Slow Dancing in the Dark. Bokuto wrote it, his boyfriend and him were really goin’ through it at the time.” The two of you dance around the roof. He places you on the ledge and lets you jump onto him as he spins you in his arms.

You laugh and sway with him again. “You’re quite the charmer. You do this with a lot of girls?”

He shakes his head. “Nah, most of them don’t talk to me as much as you have.” He smiles.

“I like how open you are.” You blurt out, but it’s already out there. “I dunno, it just makes other people more comfortable to be real with you.”

“I never got anything from being a liar. I guess that’s just how I am. How do you get me to talk so much Sweetie? You haven’t talked much about yerself.”

“You haven’t asked.” You teased and he places you on his lap as you sit back down.

“What’s yer dream Sweetie?” He smiles and keeps you guys moving.

You hum and just wonder if maybe it was too deep to share, but he’s been so honest with you, you feel like you could tell him. “To have a family of my own. To never abandon them and make sure they know I love them with all my heart.”

“That’s a pretty dream.” You smile and rest your head on his shoulder, you two dance till the music stops.

You wake up the next morning next to Atsumu on his bed. Memories from the night hit you like a bus and you want to squeal. He was sweet all the way through. You try to gather your thoughts but it was all scrambled with the fact that you slept with the lead singer of a band. You gotta cross that off a list somewhere.

Atsumu moves and he wakes up, looking at you holding the sheets up to your chest. “Mornin’.” He greets and you mutter a small hi as you shrink into the bed. “Ah, don’t be shy now. I’m gonna go make breakfast.”

You pull a shirt of his and some boxers out to wear and you make your way to the kitchen. He sees you come in and smiles while turning his head to the side. “I hope you don’t mind.” You refer to the stolen clothes.

He waves you off and continues to cook up some wonderful breakfast. “How d’ya like yer eggs?”

“Scrambled please.” He smiles cooking that right up. “How’d you become such a great cook.”

“My brother owns a restaurant.”

You nod. “Yea, I think he’d be disappointed if you didn’t know how to cook.” The two of you chuckle together and he places the egg on your plate.

“Any plans today?”

You think for a moment before groaning. “Yea, Mila and I work from 6pm to 1am today.”

Atsumu perks his head up and smiles. “I’ll bring the guys then, visit you on the job.”

You laugh and agree. “Ok, I’ll see you there then.”

The two of you eat breakfast together before he drops you off at your house, still in his clothes. “See ya later tonight.” He winks, and all you can do is smile and wave as he drives off. Before you can turn back around, Mila pulls you inside and up the stairs.

She sits you down on the couch and stares at you. “Alright, explain.”

“Well, he was really nice, we danced, talked and… well you know, then he made me breakfast and drove me back here, oh and he’s coming to our job later with his friends.” You tell.

Her mouth is stuck wide open, unable to move. “Oh my- how do you do that. Well now I’m nervous to go to work. I think he likes you y/n.”

“I don’t think that’s what he’s looking for Mila.” You get up and head to your room.

She laughs and shakes her head. “Well someone better tell him you don’t dance and be all sweet to your friends with benefits.”

“I don’t think that’s exactly what this is either.” You say.

“Well then it’s a big fat fucking ‘it’s complicated’.” She throws her hands up mumbling to herself about what to wear.

You’d hate to admit it, but you think that’s exactly what this is.

Nevertheless you got ready for your day with Mila. It wasn’t too crowded yet, and you would be lying if you said you weren’t antsy for Atsumu and the rest of them to show up. Mila picked up on it really quick.

“You’re gonna burn a hole in the door looking at it like that.” She quips

Your shoulders sag a little. “Am I that obvious?” You ask her.

“Only to me, Sweetie.” She pinches your cheeks before carrying her tray to her table.

Somewhere during your conversation a new table was sat, and when you went to wait on them you locked eyes with a familiar blonde. Your whole body relaxed, and Atsumu turned to you, a warmth spread throughout his body. Whatever was happening between the two of you was happening fast, and even though Atsumu knew he couldn’t give you more, he was selfish and wanted to have you if not just for another day.

He smiles charmingly at you when you get to the table. “Hello boys.”

“Hi Sweetie,” they all wave to you: Kotaro, Shoyo, and Kiyoomi. Atsumu grabs your hand and kisses it looking up at you. He was taking in the lovely corset you had on with the fishnets.

You blushed deeply, but it was hidden by the bright and colorful lights in the club. “What can I do for you boys?” They give you their orders which you take diligently to the bar.

“See, they got here.” Mila snickers and waves at them from behind the bar. “Let me help you with the drinks.”

The two of you finish them quickly and walk over to drop them on the table. Before you’re able to say anything you feel a quick slap on your ass. Your whole body freezes up and you turn to see a very drunk customer. “No touching,” you seethe.

Mila turns as well, standing next to you as help. “Mmm no, I don’t think that’s what you should say.” The guy walks right up to you and grabs your arm. Immediately another arm shoots out to grab his.

“Hey,” Atsumu says cooly grinning with mal intent. “Why don’t you let go of her arm yea?”

The guy is displeased and raises an arm to which Atsumu’s friends respond quickly by getting up, but he was stopped by Earl, one of the security workers. “Are you alright Sweetie and Mila?”

Mila nods. “Yea this guy needs to go, he’s touching.” She huffs and Earl nods.

“Don’t worry he’ll be gone soon.” Earl disappears with the man out the door and you let out a breath.

“Are you okay?” Atsumu asks, his jaw tight.

You nod breathing in. “Yea, it comes with the job. Earl and Riley are really good at kicking them out if need be.” You smile. “Sit down and relax, don’t worry too much about me.”

“Well that’s not possible.” Atsumu murmurs, but you are already halfway back to the bar with Mila.

“You’re sick Atsumu.” Shoyo says.

Atsumu turns to his bandmate with a wary look. “Huh?”

Kotaro nods in agreement with the guitarist. “You got it bad Atsumu.”

“She’s good. Really good.” Shoyo adds again.

He ignores them and changes the subject. Kiyoomi and the rest of them understand he’s deflecting because he likes you too, but he can’t be with you. He won’t let himself be with you, and that’s exactly what they want him to see, that he can.

Regardless of his distaste for their probing, Atsumu gets his notepad out and scribbles down some lyrics. “You really brought that with you?” Kiyoomi asks pointedly.

Atsumu rolls his eyes at his friend. “I bring it everywhere. I don’t know why you’re surprised. The boys begin conversing about their next upcoming show but Atsumu is watching you. He watches you laugh with Mila and charm the customers that come up to you.

He hasn’t felt this sense of comfort in a long time, but watching you is inspiring in itself. He nudges Bokuto to get his attention. “What’s up?”

“Can you help me with this? I think it’s good.” He refers back to the notepad where he has the title of the song written.

Bokuto hums looking over the lyrics. “Locked Out of Heaven? Sounds good.” He doesn’t comment and how he talks so vividly about you. Even though he hasn’t said it, Bokuto knows. “Instead of cause you got me feelin like to cause you make me feel like, good?”

The two of them fix up some of the wording in the song meanwhile Shoyo called over one of the girls to dance for Kiyoomi. Kiyoomi is glaring at Hinata, but doesn’t shoo the girl away, he’s a gentlemen of course.

Eventually your shifts are up and you come back out wearing some sweats and a hoodie. “All done.” You smile.

Atsumu looks at you with wonder as he takes in your clothes. “No corset? I think I like a girl in uniform.”

“I’m off the clock, mister.” You say teasingly before walking ahead of him and the others following. “What do you want to do?”

He hums stepping closer to you. “Do you like Just Dance?”

Over the course of the next month or so you and Atsumu grew much closer and he released Locked Out of Heaven. While you had a sneaking suspicion it was about you, you never said anything.

You, Mila, Kuroo, and Kenma still attended all of their concerts and the crowds kept getting bigger with each passing show. Atsumu lit up the stage, he was a performer, a great one and he captured everyone’s attention. You really couldn’t help but look at him with stars in your eyes every time.

However, you were getting tired of not understanding where the two of you stood. It frightened you how much you liked Atsumu, how much you could envision him in your future. It scared you not knowing if he thought of you like you thought of him.

That’s why you were standing outside his apartment and knocking on the door. He answered quickly and leaned on the door frame. “Hi Sweetie,” he kissed your cheek letting you in. “This is a nice surprise.”

When he closes the door you mumble a hello, but your nerves are at an all time high. He notices something is up and asks, but he already doesn’t like this feeling. To him, the point of not being in a relationship was to not feel this way. Like he was close to fighting with you and losing. “I just... I have a question.” You say looking up at him. “What am I... to you? Do you think about me?”

“I think about you a lot.” He admits, whether he wanted to or not. “What’s going on?”

“It’s just that I think about you all the time. I want you, all the time. More so, I just want to know that you’re with me, that you want me the same way I want you.” Atsumu recoils back from your admission like you shot him.

He shakes his head. “I’m confused.”

You throw your hands up a little frustrated. “I want you Atsumu. In every single way possible. I want your clothes at my apartment, I want to keep an extra toothbrush here. I want to go on dates with just you and me not in the house, I just want to hold your hand and I want to be together... officially together. I love-” You can barely get it out, but when you look at Atsumu’s face the words die on your lips. “What?”

“No.” He says sternly. “I never- when did you ever get the idea that that’s what this was?”

Your chest hurts in the worst possible way. This is not the way you expected this to turn out. “You can’t look at me the way you do and not expect me to think you love me too.”

Atsumu runs a hand through his hair and looks equally as upset as you are right now. “No you’re completely off the mark. This- this is not what that is. You need to get your delusions in check.”

You scoff getting angrier as the seconds pass. “It’s not delusions when even your friends say the same thing.”

His head shoots up at you. “What the fuck did they say to make you think that?”

“That they’ve never seen you happier, that you seem lighter and like you’re finally able to let someone love you instead of thinking you can’t.” You spit out at him.

“Well they fucking lied to you.” He grits.

You shake your head. “You’re insane Atsumu. I know you love me too. Why is it such a fucking problem for you to admit that?”

“Because it’s not fucking true, Sweetie. I don’t know how you deluded yourself into that-”

“Don’t call me fucking crazy, I’m not fucking crazy.” You stand up from the couch and walk over to him. “You can’t touch me the way you do and look at me like you do and say you don’t care about me. I won’t let you lie straight to my fucking face.”

“I don’t want a relationship, I don’t want this. I don’t want the expectations that come with this.”

It grabs your attention as you laugh humorlessly. “Yea Atsumu, I expect you to love me fucking back, that’s so much to ask for though with you isn’t it.”

He buries his hands in his hair ruffling it. “This is exactly what I’m talkin’ about! I don’t want this fighting, we’re not even together, shit. We’re not together!”

“I think I understand that very well. Why won’t you let me love you Tsum?” You whisper.

“Because I don’t fucking want it, I don’t want you, I don’t want an us, I’ve made myself pretty fucking clear.”

“Loud and clear. Especially when I’ve just admitted that I love you and you throw shit in my face.” You retort.

He sighs, “Shut up Sweetie, please.”

“The day I do is the day I stop caring about you, Atsumu.” He’s frustrated because he doesn’t know how to explain this to you and he doesn’t want to.

“Just go. Just fucking leave.”

“I’m not leaving this goddamn apartment until you tell me you don’t love me!” You say, tired and desperate. “Do you love me Atsumu?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t wantcha to love me.”

You recoil and cross your arms. “But do you love me, please? I don't think that’s much to ask.”

He doesn’t have it in him to say it, but he cannot stand you to be here a second longer. “News flash, Sweetie. It’s not that hard to not fall in love with you. You should have learned that by now.” He went real low, even knows it from the way your face falls and you lose the fight you had in you. His chest tightens from the look you give him. “The door is right fuckin’ there. I didn’t think you were so dense, fuck!”

“Don’t fucking talk to me like that!” You yell back. “All I wanted Atsumu-” you choke on a sob. “All I really wanted, was to know that someone fucking loved me for once.” You say as a whisper. “And that-” you sniffle, wiping your tears, “that you knew loving you isn’t a chore, it was a goddamn fairy tale. Even now. Even as you push me away and tell me you hate me, I still love you.” You leave, deciding that Atsumu isn’t hard to love at all, but he makes it hard to stay.

When the door shuts and he can no longer hear your footsteps, Atsumu throws the remote control at his wall. “Fuck!”

You don’t hear from him since then, and Mila had her work cut out for her. Knowing that the singer from her favorite band did this to her best friend is something she wouldn’t stand for.

She blocked all of their numbers from both of your phones. Even though the other boys didn’t do anything she had to be extra sure he had no way of contacting you. Kuroo and Kenma were let in on the whole thing too.

As you nursed your broken heart Mila held onto you as you tried to explain what he said, and that really solidified her hatred for the man. “That is not true Sweetie. I’ll love you till the day I die.” She kissed the top of your head as you cried yourself to sleep.

Kuroo and Kenma visited too and she let them in on what happened. “Why would he-”

“I have no idea. I think he just wanted to hurt her, because I don’t believe for one second that he wasn’t in love with her.” The three of them nod in agreement as they witnessed Atsumu with you first hand. “He’s just a fucking idiot.”

“You’re a fucking idiot.” Kiyoomi chimes in after listening to Atsumu’s rant about what happened with you weeks ago. They all asked where you had went, and with enough probing they got it out of him.

Atsumu looks shocked. “She’s delusional.”

Bokuto shakes his head. “She would be if she wasn’t right. She’s right, Atsumu and in your heart of hearts I know you know that. I know you know that you’re also in love with her.”

The singer groans. “Not you guys too.”

“I think you’re just in denial because then you would have to face the fact that you treated her disgustingly awful.” Kiyoomi says. “For some unknowing reason she fell in love with you. I think this is where your luck runs out Atsumu, because you’re never going to meet someone like that again.”

All of them are shocked at how much Kiyoomi was saying all at once. He normally was quiet, but you and the bassist developed a nice friendship, which was saying a lot for Sakusa.

“He’s not wrong Atsumu.” Hinata breaks the silence. “The quicker you realize that, then the faster you can beg for her forgiveness, because I don’t think you’ll get her back with anything less.”

The boys get up to set up their instruments leaving Atsumu in their dressing room to wonder how he got here in the first place. He felt so many things all at once and he turned to his notepad, because he couldn’t express himself in any other way.

He performed with group and charismatic as he may be, they noticed how off he was. At one point during the show he slipped up the lyrics to one of the songs. “Shit...” he laughs it off. “Maybe I’m just a little fucked up guys I’m sorry.” The crowd cheers him on regardless, but he finds himself looking for your face. A glimpse of it somewhere, and the disappointment burns him in a way he has never experienced.

Once the set finishes he goes back to his notepad, ignoring the stares his friends give him. He looks at Bokuto with a knowing look. The drummer sits down and pats his back. “What do you need help with?”

The two of them get to writing together, although it was mostly Atsumu’s words Bokuto helped clean it up. Atsumu was always good at understanding his emotions when they were on a piece of paper, but how could he go after what he really wanted. Every relationship he ever had crashed and burned, just like yours did and it didn’t even have a label on it.

But that was his mistake.

You were never just going to be another girl to him. He loved you more than he cared to admit. So much that it ached. So much that he couldn’t bear how fast his heart beat around you and he had to burn you too. He was most definitely the problem.

You just wanted an unconditional love, and he did love you, but could he love you the way you deserved? Was it fair that he decided these things for you? Probably not.

He wasn’t sure how he was going to get you to meet with him. After what he said he wouldn’t want to either, but he picked up his phone and tried to call. “The number you’re trying to reach...” Yea. He should’ve expected that one.

He tried Mila’s and the same thing happened. The same thing would happen with your other friends’ numbers. “Shit.” He clicks his tongue but then turns his attention to Kiyoomi. “Hey, Omi-”

“Don’t even try.” He said tuning his bass not even looking up. “She’s blocked all of us, all of them did. Not that I really blame her.”

Atsumu nods, but decides this is just a little bump in the road. He needs to plan everything anyway, it would be silly to ask for you back without one. He needed to plan.

Over the next few days he booked a venue, the same one you met at. He donated what he could to the orphanage you grew up in. In the hopes that the children live a little better than you did. He doesn’t really plan on telling you that one.

It was difficult for him, the band was in the middle of a life changing contract, but his priorities were set for the first time in his life. He pleads his bandmates to help him, and they accept because you deserve to have a choice on whether or not you get to be with the person you love.

He goes to the strip that you work out and hopes to run into you, but he’s met with Mila, a more formidable opponent. She looks up with a smile to greet the new customer, but when she sees him her face drops. “You’ve got about ten seconds to get out before I ask Riley to do it.”

“I just need two minutes.” He asks.

“You don’t deserve any.” She cleans the glasses in front of her not looking at it. “I mean it.”

Atsumu nods. “I know. I know I don’t, but listen to me and if you don’t want to after that then I’ll leave.”

She looks skeptical but relents. You deserve the choice to be with him or not. Not that she believes he deserves it. “Two minutes. Starting now.”

“I didn’t mean it.” He says sheepishly. “Any of it and if I could take it back I would. I-” He huffs out a breath, wishing he could talk to you. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt the way I did with her, and I know that she deserved more than I could offer, but I do want her.” His fists clench trying to get out the right words. “I want her more than I have wanted anything, and it scared me and I fucked up I know, but I- well... I love her. Whether I deserve to or not I do. And by some miracle she loves me too... or did.”

Atsumu shakes his head to get back on track, Mila’s full attention is on him as he slips her a flyer and four tickets. “If you could get her to come to this show... I’d owe you everything, regardless of what happens I just don’t want to lie to her anymore.”

Mila peaks at it and watches him leave as he doesn’t wait for her answer. “Fuck.” She mutters. “I hate being a good fucking person.” She snatches the tickets and puts them in her bag.

When she gets home you’re cleaning the house again, something you’ve been doing to keep your mind busy. Mila sets down the take out as she comes to sit on the couch.

“Sweetie guess what.” You pick your head up to look at her. “Taro is coming to town again.”

Your shoulders slump a little and you shrug. “I don’t know, I don’t really want to go.”

“Pleaseeeeee.” She whines. “Kuroo bought us all tickets, he’s the main event. Some randos are opening for him it’ll be fun I promise.” You don’t really know how fun it would be to go back to the place that reminds you of him entirely.

“I’m just not sure it would be good for me.” You say lowly.

Her heart breaks for you, but she is hard to deter. “I promise just this once, if you don’t like being there within the first hour we can go home. Promise.”

In the end, you end up agreeing and Mila fills the boys in on the plan. When Friday hits you all get ready at your apartment Kuroo and Kenma waiting with anticipation.

“You look great Sweetie.” Kuroo coos teasingly and your face heats up.

“I will kill you.” You joke.

Kenma looks up questioningly. “Doubtful.” It earns a small laugh from you which brings a smile to his face.

The four of you make your way to the venue and when you recognize the building of your old home you twitch in discomfort. You don’t voice it though, agreeing to stick it out the hour. Mila is in front and hands the bouncer your tickets while you walk ahead.

It is decently packed, but you wonder why he chose a small venue again with the publicity he has gotten over the month.

“I’m sorry Sweetie, but I’m also not sorry.” Mila smiles, and before you can ask her what she means the lights turn off and you can’t see. Your heart rate picks up, but it slows when the lights of the stage turn on, but the calm is short lived when you see him and the rest of the band on the stage.

“Hi everyone.” Atsumu waves and tries to find you in the crowd. “Now, I’ve recently written a new song yea? It’s the last one of the night.” The crowd howls with excitement and Atsumu loves the thrill it gives him, but he’s still just looking for you, he made sure you would get here for the last one. “My brothers obviously helped me produce it. It explains what words couldn’t, and I wish I was better at expressin’ myself than I actually am. I’m pretty shit at it.” He chuckles into the mic, his voice sending a chill down your spine when his eyes meet yours. “This is Leave Before You Love Me, everyone.”

Your heart is beating so fast that you barely paid attention to the first verse, but the chorus hits you like a truck and reminds you of your first meetings with Atsumu.

'Cause my wheels are rolling Ain't taking my foot off the gas And it only took the one night To see the end of the line Staring deep in your eyes, eyes

You remember when he sent it down the hill near his apartment. How you held onto him and regardless of how nervous you were you felt safe as long as he was there.

Dancing on the edge, 'bout to take it too far It's messing with my head, how I mess with your heart If you wake up in your bed, alone in the dark I'm sorry, gotta leave before you love me

The rest of the song plays out and you wrap your arms around yourself for some sense of comfort. Your friends notice it and huddle around you to try to ease the listen.

When the final chorus plays theres cheers all around you, and you can’t seem to move from your spot even as Atsumu smiles at you and gestures for you. Mila grabs your hand and you turn to her. “If you want we can leave right now and never come back.”

You shake your head. “No... I want- I want to know what he has to say.”

She nods and leads you to the back. The rest of the band greets you while you can barely mutter a hello. They all leave you with him, Mila squeezes your hand before she also heads out.

Atsumu had a whole bunch he wanted to say, but he wasn’t so sure any of it did justice to you. He slowly walks up to you and places his hands gently on your face to have you look at him. “I’m sorry, Sweetie. I’m so sorry.”

“You were so mean.” You whisper.

He nods. “I know. I didn’t mean it. Any of it. I know that doesn’t make it better, but that’s the truth.” He sighs as he runs a hand through your hair. “I just thought I shouldn’t lie to you anymore. I want you. More than I ever that I could and that was so fucking scary. But you didn’t deserve that at all. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I wasn’t so terrible all the time-”

You shake your head. “You’re not terrible Atsumu, just delusional, to think that you don’t care about me.”

“I love you.” Your throat closes up and you’re not sure what to say after that. “I think I’ve loved you from the moment I’ve met you. You’re everything, Sweetie. Everything I don’t deserve and everything I shouldn’t have.” He places his forehead against yours. “But it wasn’t fair of me to not give you a choice, because you should have one and I took that from you.”

“I’m always going to choose you, Atsumu.” Fresh tears make their way to your eyes as you take in a shaky breath. “But everything isn’t going to magically be better just because you’ve realized this. What if we get into a disagreement and you blow up on me. I can’t survive it again.”

He nods understanding your concern. “I’ve been going to therapy.” Your head shoots up almost knocking his nose. “I know, long overdue. It’s easy to tell myself you should be with someone better, but I want to try to be that for you. To be someone deserving of your kindness,” he kisses your cheek. “Deserving of your love. Although I don’t think I ever will, I want to get as close as I can.”

You laugh at his statement. “You were always enough for me, Atsumu, but I’m glad you’re getting help.” You take a deep breath before going on. “It’s not always going to be easy.”

“I know.”

“I might get frustrated with you.”

“I know.”

“You might get frustrated with me.”

“I know.”

“But I think as long as we’re honest and truly love each other...” You trail off. “I think we could make it.”

“I’ll always pick you. There is no other choice for me.”

You smile brushing your lips against his, feeling relaxed in his hold. “We go slow this time.”

“Whatever you want. We’ll do. I just want to be able to hold you.”

“It was a great song.” You add.

He nods kissing your forehead. “It was about a great person. That and Locked Out of Heaven.”

You laugh under your breath. “I knew it.”

Atsumu rolls his eyes playfully looking down at you. “Assume from this day forward that every song, every word, every thought, and every breath I breathe is about you.”

You can’t top that so you quietly retreat into his arms, safe and loved. “I want lots of kids.”

“We’ll have all the kids you want. I’ll have fun trying.”

The two of you laugh together before taking a moment to join your friends again who by the looks of it are happy for you. “Don’t mess up this time Atsumu.” Kiyoomi warns.

You walk up to the bassist and give him a hug, you do this with all of them. “I missed you guys.”

You all walk out together and you get into Atsumu’s car so he could take you back to his apartment. It’s quiet on the ride back but he holds your hand the entire time.

When you get there he immediately takes you to the roof. “Bo and I made this new song not too long ago. It’s called Die for You.”

He plays the song on his speaker and takes a hold of your hand dancing with you like he did that very first night. “You always have beautiful penmanship.”

He smiles shyly. “Trying to get that into actual words.”

“I believe in you.” You rest your head on his shoulder and sway with him.

You’re not sure how long you stay there dancing for, but you really wouldn’t have minded staying till the morning, and Atsumu wouldn’t have either.

Atsumu is not hard to love. Not in the slightest, and he’s starting to believe that for the first time in a long time.

A/N: I hope this isn’t too bad LMAO

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noonmutter · 2 months

Text

Best Boy

DWC Feb 2024 Day 4: Vengeance/Satisfaction

Pandaria was already meeting spring with wide open arms, and the cheerful, bright sunlight was almost offensive to Shedwyn's eyes. That wasn't really new, though; everything was almost offensive to Shedwyn's eyes right now. Her fucking husband had gone and got himself fucking titled--legitimately titled, through no effort of his own, the fuckhead--and he had no idea how it'd happened. She had even less idea, and his babbling explanation hadn't made it a whole lot clearer.

The fact that they were shouting at each other about it the whole time probably hadn't helped.

But still.

Fucker.

After they'd gone in circles for about half an hour, and she'd slugged him in the chest a little bit harder than she'd actually meant to, she'd decided it was time for a breather.

"I'm going to Leon's. I need sex in my mouth right now and I don't mean you."

"First of all, fuckin' ew--"

"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT, ASSBAG OF KEEL."

She hadn't realized she'd been growling obscenities, mostly about her husband, out loud until the younger Ambroce whistled at her from his front door.

"Y'gonna keep me in suspense or kin we take this inside?"

"I want to be petulant and snarl some more and maybe blow something up, but I also want pizza, and I know if I do the first thing I won't get the second."

Leon nodded and stepped aside to let her into the house. "Yer becomin' downright self-policin' these days. I'm pretty sure tha's a good thin', but..."

"Shut up and feed me."

"Fine, but this better be good, y' grumpy li'l shit." He adored his sister-in-law, but that also meant he was a lot more willing to be crass with her than most. She was family, ergo she was tough enough to take a little bit of honest ribbing.

"Food then snark. Please. I want to not be the adult right now."

"Fair enough. Does tha' mean I don't get an explanation? Only if tha's th' case, I'm not gonna make yer fav'rite."

"But--"

"Them's th' rules."

Shedwyn sighed. She would kill a man for anchovies, and the man who did the absolute best thing with them was standing right in front of her, and she was a Lady, god dammit, and... She sighed again. She could be polite for a little while.

"All right."

"Attagirl."

"Don't push it, Ambroce."

Laughing, Leon closed the door behind them and fled to the kitchen to get to work. It was a good thing everyone else had left for their own chores for the day, or the complaints would've started within five minutes of the fishy dish going into the oven. For the most part, the house smelled of salt, generic "fish" smell, shrimp, ham, cheese, and tomatoes, but those first two really overpowered the rest. Anchovies were not popular at the restaurant in Stormwind, but the ones who liked them really liked them, as he'd found out, so he kept a small supply at home for emergencies. Emergencies like his little mana-bomb of a sister having a bad day, for example.

They didn't talk about much of anything while he was cooking. Leon was too focused to offer up much of anything without being prompted, and Shedwyn was in no mood to talk like an adult yet. She was in the mood to pout, and scream, and maybe punch Terry again. She'd had to go through so frickin' much to get her own title set down on paper and into the records that mattered; she'd memorized every stupid word of the stupid Doppelganger Decree of 28 and would probably not be able to forget about it for years. And Terry'd gone and fuckin' farted out a dynasty.

Shedwyn Lias-Ambroce was not strictly speaking a jealous woman, but she had limits. It just wasn't fair!

Somewhere amid the interminable brooding, a steaming pizza appeared on the table in front of her, and the clouds parted. Angels didn't sing, because angels sucked and didn't like anchovies, but that was fine. More for her. The first bite was always the best, but the second through sixth bites were pretty damned amazing, too.

Leon was kind enough to wait until she'd torn through two slices before he cleared his throat. When Shedwyn was not immediately forthcoming, he made his point by taking a slice of his own and sitting down. She growled to herself, then picked up a napkin and dabbed at her mouth.

"Your brother got lucky again."

"...Like yer 'avin' another kid, or...?"

This time, the sigh was loud, extremely melodramatic, and seemed almost to propel her backwards to drape over the back of her chair. "Like he didn't end up dead or promoted at the end of the Gilneas campaign, so he fell ass-backwards into a viscountcy instead!"

Leon blinked, then took a bite of his slice. Nope. Still don't like anchovies. "Alright..?"

"All right? Really? That's the first thing you say? Your brother's a goddamn titled, landed Gilnean nobleman out of nowhere! After all the shit I went through to get my shitty little Barony carved out of Duskwood! Not only does he just walk into some office in Stromgarde and walk out with a title, he walks out outranking me! Which I didn't know I would care about until it happened!"

Leon said nothing, simply letting her unload, as was his wont. His neverending patience pissed her off even more, as was her wont.

"I had, and still have, to work my absolute ass off for every single scrap I've ever gotten or ever will get, and then I have to work even more to keep it, and your bullfuckin' Ambroce luck has Terry just survive long enough! What the fuck, Leon?!"

When she stopped to ask him a question, even if it was a rhetorical one, Leon looked up from finishing off his slice. He calmly licked his fingers, then set his elbows on the table. Then, he set his chin on his hands. "Would it 'elp any if I said it wasn't all luck this time?"

"Well of course it wasn't all luck, it takes a shitload of skill to survive the absolute fuckalanche of shit he's been through, but--"

"No, I mean it was me."

That stopped the little mage mid-rant. "What was you?"

"Th' Gilnean Repatriation Initiative sent out letters somethin' like a month ago. I got one, you prolly got one tha' got tossed out, knowin' 'ow you an' Terry feel about anythin' bearin' th' royal seal of anywhere."

Shedwyn gaped.

Leon continued, "I'm just as much a Gilnean as 'e is, but I've my life 'ere, an' I very much like it. An' really, goin' 'ome does not bring 'appy mem'ries t' th' fore. Maybe I coulda got th' ranch back, but... gods, I don't want it. But I know Terry does. An' anybody 'o'd met th' man fer five minutes knew 'e'd go back t' Gilneas th' instant th' call went out. So I sent a reply with a couple suggestions."

Shedwyn's hair was starting to crackle like one of those globe toys that made lightning strike where your fingertips touched them.

Leon, undeterred, picked up the pizza plate and walked it back into the kitchen.

"My brother is a turd, a recoverin' racist, an' more than a bit of a jackass. But 'e's also an extremely patriotic, loyal man when 'e wants t' be. Tha's admirable as 'ell! Downright noble, even. Apparently they agreed, eh?"

The chair clattered to the floor as Shedwyn stood up, both hands up in front of her, grasping at the air in a strangling motions.

"You- you-"

"Feel free t' tell 'im Leroy says congratulations." He turned and stared her straight in the eye, even as they crackled with arcane lightning. "Elroy does, too."

Later on, Shedwyn would say the only reason Leon survived that meeting was because she didn't want to destroy the house, his spouses didn't deserve that.

Mostly it was because everytime she'd try to gather up the energy to cast something, he'd headbutt her, and she was too stubborn to dodge.

( @daily-writing-challenge @shedwyn )

#my writing #leon #shedwyn #dwc #waxing crescent #leon's xanatos gambits are always the best #all because Terry called him Leroy for 25 years and Shedwyn told everybody his middle name at his wedding with Pin #he is every inch the younger brother

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samseabxrn · 3 months

Note

How about "Own, Growls, Hymn" for DADWC? :3

Happy Friday!! For you and @demarogue for @dadrunkwriting, I have some (faint) Morrigan/Amell:

“What do you require of me?” Morrigan stands to her full height and Amell thinks, briefly, that this was a mistake.

"I wanted to ask you a question."

“Speak it.”

Somewhere behind them, he hears the low growls of what he thinks are wolves but is too skittish to ask, and he can’t stop his eyes from flicking toward the noise. Something plays across Morrigan’s face then, her lips curving up in a wry smile.

“There is nothing you can do about them,” she says.

“I’m just not used to it.” Like he is not used to armor instead of robes, or to the open air and the itchy grass, or the way he is addressed as Warden above all else.

“Still?”

“I was in the tower for eighteen years, and out here for just these months. You’re clever enough to do the math.”

“And I thought you were a quick learner.”

“Did you?” Her eyes narrow at that, at the earnestness he fails to cut out of his voice.

“You cannot tell me you miss that place,” she rejoins, as if it is a fact that he cannot refute. Does he miss it? He does not know.

He knows that each night, he lies in his bedroll and he tries not to dream. Sometimes he will turn over well-worn sections of the Chant in his mind, as if he can ward off a demon with words alone, with the pretense of holiness that he has always been denied. Worse than dreaming, really, is the fantasy. Sometimes he will wonder what it would be like if he had been allowed to stay, but mostly he wonders what his life would be like if he never had magic at all, if he didn’t have to live with the curse of it.

He thinks maybe he would be okay, giving it up. But then he cranes his neck to the side, and down by the fire lies Morrigan, who has never seen her magic as a shameful thing.

“You do not miss your own home at all?”

“It is not my place to miss it. Flemeth told me I must go, and now I am here.” She adjusts her robes tighter around her. “I do not believe your prison can be called a home.”

“It was my home,” he says. “Are you cold?”

“What?” She blinks at him briefly before pulling her thoughts back together, the barest hint of a frown on her mouth. “I am fine.”

“Take my cloak," he offers quickly, too quickly.

"I do not need your cloak."

"Consider it a solution to a problem, then."

"And if there is no problem at all?"

"Consider it a gift." He's already unbuttoned it, the fabric hanging limply around his shoulders.

“You are sentimental.” The way she says it does not sound like a compliment.

“Is there a problem with that?”

“Sentiment is a weakness. Although not as much as love.” At his silence, she cocks her head. “A Warden like you still believes in love?”

“I would whether I were a Warden or not.”

“They fed you many stories in your Circle, then.” Another one of her pronouncements, and even when he disagrees, which is often, he finds himself coming back here like a stray dog, to the fire that makes him sweat in his armor and her sharp tongue which does nothing to help.

“They fed us well,” he agrees. “Though stories do not do much for the stomach.”

And then she laughs, and he is reminded why he comes back. When Morrigan laughs… it’s like the hymns the sisters would sing in the Circle chapel.

He’d work nights in the chapel because it was slightly better than in the kitchens. One gave you extra food, and the other let you sit down. He’d light the candles, organize the books, and let the sisters’ and the templars’ hushed murmurs wash over him. And Amell had always carried it inside of him, the knowledge that the prayers were really meant for others. They could carry the prayer and the lightness of being, and he would carry the power, the magic, the sin that was his to bear.

But the song belonged to anyone that could hear it. It was not the peaceful melody of Transfigurations that brought him peace, but Threnodies, the harsh slant of the words on his ears. There was a beauty in there, a raw truth.

Sometimes Cullen would be in there, too, and even now the thought of him stirs something fond before he remembers. He only ever lets himself think of one image now: the candlelight would catch on his face, on his eyelashes, pale golden as he looked over at him. And sometimes he would smile back, and Cullen would flush just a little before he turned back to his prayer, and Amell never knew if he was imagining the smile on his face or not.

Morrigan’s lashes are dark by firelight, dark shadows deepening her face. Cutting her sharper, more severe. She slips the cloak off his shoulders, his skin prickling as her hands brush it. "You had a question, I believe.”

He always walks away from talks like these feeling like it’s his fault, somehow. For believing in things he shouldn't, for not being bold enough. He is tempted to tell her about it, but he cannot figure out how to articulate it. That her laugh is like a hymn is too trite for such a clever girl as her, and she has likely never heard Threnodies and it would all be different through her ears.

"I think I have my answer," he says softly, and at that, she raises her brows, just a bit. Imperceptible if he weren't looking. And for him, raised on fleeting touches and the reading of meaning where there is none, it is enough.

#i'm having so many amell feelings #dadwc #my writing #thank you!#morrigan x amell

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nancyqueerler · 2 years

Note

Here's an idea for ronance: while Steve is rooting for Robin x Vicky (who Robin realizes she no longer likes after the encounter with Vicky and her ex-bf), Will realizes the same expression he makes whenever he watches Mike and Eleven is now on Nancy's face. It happens when either Vicky passes by and greats or even starts a quick chat with Robin, or Steve nudges Robin with his smirk. Nancy is always strong-willed, firm and brave, so it feels weird to see her quietly trying to wear an awkward smile, but perhaps Will understand and perhaps he knows what to do to help her.

Nancy leaned back into her seat, fingers curled over her arms. A heat sweltered the back of her neck, left it singed. Her jaw was set tight, cranked to the back of her teeth. The sounds of her friends barking out delirious laughter, choked hiccups, and whispers only meant for two sets of ears was beginning to bloodshot her ears, and she did not know why.

At her right, Steve and Robin giggled, bumped shoulders. Steve was tinted a sharp pink, induced by some ugly liquor only he bothered to slug. Robin tried to pry off the bottles from his gruff fists, but ever since Eddie had disappeared—not dead, just gone—he had begun to take home in green and brown glass.

The two were tittering about some jest only they knew of. Nancy, though reluctant, had tried to listen in, but felt the other presence—the one at her left—was submerging her in a dark cloak whenever she perked up her ears at the pair.

Guilt. She knew that is what sat there, hunched and mutilated. It was hard to perceive behind its veil of black haze, but she knew it held a sleek knife between its skeletal fingers. And that knife was pointed at her.

She had noticed Robin was... uncomfortable at some points of her conversation with Steve. The way she shrunk into herself, shoulder blades replaced with rocks. Or the way her eyes flickered from their usual light, parted from the reality before her. Nancy wished to reach out and ignore the knife pointed at her, but the cool of the steel exuded and froze her muscles to the joints.

"I get it, Robs. Redheads are hot—" Steve hiccuped, slouching onto Robin; he was clearly balancing off the edge of his mind, hanging on by the skin of his nails. Nancy's ears perked again, and the knife enclosed near her eye. Robin faltered under his weight, clutching a firm hand on the space connecting his shoulder and his neck.

"Okay, you're going to bed. Let's get you some water." She hauled him up, threw his arm over her neck. A glance toward Nancy, then departed to the kitchen. Nancy almost smiled, the corners of her lips already starting up her cheeks, but they withdrew and hid.

The knife had drifted, but Guilt's presence remained evermore. Amongst the shadows, amongst the light. It was there, even if it hid. It seemed to always find somewhere to hide, either behind the wallpaper or in the crooks of Nancy's bones.

And then she felt another presence, but it was kind. She turned her head over her rear and found Will Byers with slanted eyes, lifted brows. Nancy smiled then, even if she was bewildered at Will's gaping. The boy was known for is snail-like characteristics: a shell affixed to his back, used to hide from the dangers of fraternizing, which Nancy always found quite endearing.

Will glimpsed between his friends, that being Mike, Eleven, and Dustin who were present, and offered a dismissal before scurrying over to Nancy.

"Everything okay, Will?" Nancy watched as Will took Guilt's spot at the table.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He shook his head, rubbing his index and middle finger across his brow. "Just wanted to talk to you."

"About?" Nancy leaned in, crossed her arms over the scuffed up surface. The boy had never come to her to have a conversation before, so she was rather unnerved. The tenderest smile pulled her lips.

Will fiddled with his hands on his thighs, head low. "You... Are you... Are you okay, Nance?" His head jerked up, some kind of determination flexing his facial muscles.

Nancy almost flinched at his question. "Me? I'm fine. Why...?"

"You just—you seem to be... upset."

"How so?"

"Like, I don't know. You're all droopy." His chair creaked as he yanked it closer to hers. "Everyone's having fun, yet you're... quiet. And I know you're not exactly the kind to party or anything, but..." He was being deliberate with his tone, like kneading thick dough, carefully flattening out the plush mounds before shoving it into a blazing oven.

"Well—" Robin popped out from the kitchen, grabbed Steve's jacket from the chair's back, and stared at Nancy for a moment too long for there to not have been a reason to. She quickly hid back into the kitchen, head hung and sheepish.

"... Well," Nancy continued, lightly flustered, "I'm fine. Just tired. Don't worry about me, okay?"

"Don't say that, Nance." Will pulled back his jaw. His eyes found the kitchen's doorway enough for Nancy to feel drawn to it again. "Look, I don't want to drag what I'm trying to ask you, or else I'll chicken out."

"I'm all ears, Will." The heel of her palm served as a perch for her jaw. Will scratched a nail over the abraded wood. His lips were trapped between his teeth.

"Okay... What do you feel right now? In your heart. Deep, deep inside." Will's voice seemed to cloud out the rest of the world; Nancy almost slapped her ear to check if it was malfunctioning.

"Uh, what?"

"Don't make me repeat myself. I'm already nervous enough."

Although frazzled, Guilt was secluded somewhere, so she felt safe to speak. "Okay, well... I feel odd." She knew that was a vague, unsatisfactory answer to such a question, but she did not feel like grabbing a shovel and scooping out the piles of dirt that clog up her barely beating heart.

"Odd? Odd how?" It seemed that Will wanted to bring his own shovel. The sun was beating down, but something about the soil caught a certain nerve at the back of his brain.

"Odd like... I don't know why my heart feels odd, if that makes sense." At that, Will nodded, shoulders resting.

"Like... your heart's short-circuited?" said Will, and Nancy thought that would be a terrifyingly accurate way to describe her feeling.

"Perhaps..." Nancy hid her mouth behind her fingers. Her mind flicked back to Robin.

Will bobbed his head, tapped his fingers on the seat, between his legs. "Okay, well, when does it, you know, go haywire? Like the circuit's sparked up a fire." Suddenly, Nancy felt like Will already knew something about her that she was not aware of. She almost shrunk, let herself become an ant. A new presence made home, and she called it Fear.

Fear's knife was blazing.

"Wow, uhm... I guess whenever I..." She wandered her brain until she ventured to the mile-long cabinets of thoughts. She read over the labels, but nothing regarding short-circuited hearts came up. She scoured, scoured, scoured. All would have been lost had Fear not been cutting into the metal of a mutilated cabinet. Nancy's nose burned with the pungent stench of smoke.

She hurried over to the cabinet hidden off to the back left of her brain, and Fear was gone by the time she yanked it open. The dent of its knife was still a searing red.

Inside the cabinet, Nancy found a bracelet. A twined yarn bracelet knitted to read Robin along the seams. The name was in blue, and she remembered picking that color because of the girl's eyes. And she remembered staying up till the sun rose from the horizon to finish it, only to regret ever picking up her knitting needle. It was for Robin's birthday, and she ended up giving her a store-bought bracelet instead. Tacky, now that Nancy thought about it.

Guilt gashed a hand around her neck, dug its nails into her esophagus. Her throat popped, and she grabbed at its claws for release. Her short-circuited heart buzzed and flared, fire spreading to her ribs. She looked down and saw Fear's knife struck through her chest.

"Nancy?" Will took her hand, and Nancy was yanked out from her mind. She blinked, reached up to her neck. No holes, no fire blazing up her body. Safe.

"Nancy, are you okay?" Will squeezed. Nancy swallowed, hard, then shook her head.

"I'm okay—" Robin popped in again, her presence grabbing the words right off her tongue. Nancy's focus flicked between Robin and Will, brows furrowed until she fully fixated on Will. And, wordlessly, a message was transferred between their short-circuited hearts.

"Hey." He leaned in, making sure only Nancy could hear his words. "You'll be okay. Trust me. And... you'll always be loved. Keep that in mind, 'kay?" He stood up just as Robin sat down, who seemed more shrunken than the last time she had appeared.

Nancy, starstruck with fizzling nerves, stared at Robin. The girl sensed this, flicking her blues over to Nancy's.

"Hi," said Nancy, voice awkwardly rough. Her heart thrummed on her bones.

"Hi," said Robin, voice awkwardly high. They stared, nerves aflame, and settled in the quiet of their newly acquired silence. A silence that held no diffidence, but a sensitive tenderness.

Behind them, Will gaped with a golden smile. And at his side, Mike ran a finger along the wrist of this gold-brimmed boy.

First little one-shot posted on here. Hope it was okay! Tbh I needed this after vol2 ⚰️

Thanks for the prompt, Anon.

Send me an ask or a prompt on my ask link embedded in my description if you want!

#smidge of byler at the end #smidge of steddie #ronance #and I hope this is what you meant 🫶#heron's writing

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jessource · 1 year

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LYRIC SENTENCE STARTERS , RENNEÉ RAPP .

a collection of lyrics pulled from the ep everything to everyone.

everything to everyone (intro)

“ i can’t be everything to everyone. ” “ who do you talk to when you can't talk to no one? ” “ forget all your problems, you know that i’m gonna solve them.” “ i hate when you’re crying. ” “ i’ll kill myself trying.” “ i’m not scared of dying. ” “ i hope that it’s over when i’m older. ”

in the kitchen.

“ it’s you that i’m missing. ” “ Please be careful, the knife is so big. ” “ we’re too young, too dumb. ” “ and now it’s just me. ” “ a hundred square feet of bittersweet memories. ” “ i still hear all your favourite melodies. ” “ strangers, to lovers, to enemies. ” “ i’ll dance with your ghost in the living room. ” “ i’ll play the piano alone. ” “ it’s real once everyone knows. ” “ could’ve at least shown me some decency. ” “ fallin’ in love, no, it ain’t for the weak. ” “ and i knew i would fall for you over and over. ” “ who would’ve known that the fallin' would come to an end. ”

colorado.

“ i think my life might be better if i lived in colorado. ” “ sit around and get high. ” “ i threw my phone into a lake. ” “ maybe there i’d like myself. ” “ might even feel compelled to sing karaoke.” “ we’d start a brand new life and never be lonely. ” “ swear to god, i am going not that far. ” “ who am i kidding, i’m addicted to the chip on my shoulder. ” “ i’ll admit it would be nice to meet some one who’s not my type. ” “ i think i’ll probably hate my life. ” “ might even feel compelled to finally let go. ” “ it’s an empty dream. ” “ that shit’s not meant for me. ” “ i’d choose the devil i know over the heaven i don’t. ” “ this is hell, but i’ll stay right here.” “ i’ll stay right here. ”

don’t tell my mom.

“ do you like it? ” “ no, i cried. ” “ you did cry. ” “ sweetie, will you come home? ” “ who are you with? ” “ what are you on? ” “ when i was young my problems were her problems. ” “ i don’t wanna cause trouble at all. ” “ we’re worried about you. ” “ don’t worry about me. ” “ don’t tell my mom, i’m falling apart. ” “ she hurts when i hurt. ” “ my scars are her scars. ” ” what you don’t know won’t hurt you. ” “ at least in her mind, her daughter is fine. ” “ please don’t let her hear i’m dying inside. ” “ she’s dealt with this for years. ” “ i got it this time. ” “i worry about you. ” what can i do.

“ i’m holding your hand. ” “ i wonder if he notices the things that i can. ” “ you don’t even get it, no, you don’t understand. ” “ i want you, but i’m only one of your friends. ” “ i know all about you. ” “ i listen to your stories. ” “ he’s not what you need. ” “ you know you’re too good for him. ” “ if it were me, i’d give you everything. ” “ so, what can i do? ” “ you feel it too? ” “ i just wanna say it. but i’m scared. ” “you ain’t looking at me the way i look at you. ” “i’d rather keep on lying than to tell you the truth. ” “ i’ll be here forever wondering. ” “ what can i—what can i do? ”

too well.

“ today i woke up in a good mood for once. ” “ i don’t hate you as much. ” “ you weren’t there in my dreams. ” “ i could finally sleep, i felt good. ” “ it’s easier holding a grudge. ” “ i’d rather be angry than crushed. ” “ i’m doing too much. i do too much. ” “ i’m back where i started again. ” “ this shit never ends. ” “ i get so sick of myself. ” “ i heard you’re happy somewhere else. ” “ i don’t forget too well. ” “ what a wreck. ” “ what a shame. ” “ you called me at eight. ” “ you’re my biggest mistake. ”

moon.

“ i don’t miss you. ” “ i know it hurts. ” “ this shit’s persistent. ” “ you split my world in two, now i’m half the one you knew. ” “ i know that we got different views, but we’re looking at the same moon. ” “ wonder if you miss me too. “ how can i be dead to you when we’re lookin’ at the same moon? ” “ are you lonely? ” “ are you movin’ on quick? ” “ i hope you’re healin’ slowly. ” “ i’m just talking with your ghost and dancing with your demons. ” “ they’re not leavin’. ” “ in the stars i can see your eyes. ” “ all the stars make me feel alive. ”

#rp meme #rp sentences #rp lyrics #rp starters #lyric starters #rp sentence starters #rp memes #ask meme #mymemes.#*

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drpeppertummy · 4 months

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Pls never shut up about sunny share your rambles pls, he's a treasure I wanna eat some good food with him and just be friends ;;;

auauiuoou thankyou my bestest little guy,,,,,,,more random entirely-non-kink-related thoughts haphazardly cobbled together from discord messages (someday i will dig up some actual tummy-themed ones)

sometimes he watches a video on his phone without realizing his volumes up & scares himself. usually only happens at home or at his friends houses & if someones around to witness it theyre like Bro What The Fuck til they realize hes like dropping his phone trying to turn it off. hrs so embarrassed too hes like Im Not An Ipad Baby Im Not!!! hes like Im Not A Tiktok Baby!!!!!!!!! bc u KNOW lauries makin fun of him for it. shes like You Ipad Baby. You Tiktok Baby. I Bet You Watch Cocomelon Fortnite Compilations Loud As Hell At Applebees.

he loves sending his friends emails with URGENT!!!!!!!!!!! as the subject & itll just be some stupid shit but i think sometimes he'll do that & the email will just say "hi" . sometimes he'll do it when hes sitting like 10 feet from somebody & if they happen to be the kind of person who has notifications on & checks their emails right away theyll read it & he'll be sittin there like : - )

sometimes laurie will just pick sunny up & either shake him or squeeze him real hard or somethin of that nature & hes just fine with it. hes very light & malleable like aluminum foil

he Loves singin in the kitchen and the shower and the car and wherever etc. he sings preddy good which is a good thing bc he is Not shy about it hes putting his whole pussy into it doesnt matter if hes got the whole crew hangin around. i was pondering What sunnys singing voice sounds like bc his vocal range is Nuts & he can go high And low & i was thinking maybe he has kind of a billy joel vibe but not Quite. bc his natural speaking voice is a little on the higher side & billy joel is a smidge lower than how i imagine his natural singing voice sounding. i was like "hes somewhere between billy joel & frankie valli" & then i was like Wait Thats Just Uptown Girl. like he Can sing lower & higher if he wants to but thats like his Most Natural Singing Voice is somewhere around there. the higher end of the billy joel range

laurie loves stuffed animals i just Know sunnys trying to win her some big shitty bear at some shitty carnival game

he tries 2 be good with boundaries even tho theres def times when he freaks it. sometimes he overcompensates trying to make up for minor infractions. he likes being on good terms with people. hes one of those people whos like I Need Everyone To Like Me Or Else Ill Die. [but also he genuinely cares its not All him being self centered]. hes ascared of Being In Trouble and Being Bad [which could mean anything from making someone mildly displeased for a moment or completely & totally fucking up an entire relationship] #rsd. but then like he also cant help just totally bein a nuisance 100% of the time

tbh . i think Big Hug is his response to a lot of things. Hes A Hugger

he struggles with analog clocks he'll be trying to read one & hes like ✋Everyone Shut Up Im Focusing😤. i think left & right takes him a second too. sorry i love projecting

i think sunny says Go Piss Girl when laurie gets up to go to the bathroom & she smacks him in the head

any time hes trying to do something hes like running around in circles he always gets mixed up about what he needs to do first and what he needs to do next and where he needs to be headed and what hes supposed to be getting and hes just all over the place & hes straight up just spinning around trying to think. it takes him SO long to get started on something. once he gets going its fine as long as its a familiar task but it doesnt take much to break his focus. its like that sometimes when hes talking too. he gets sidetracked So easily sometimes it takes him like 10 tries to get a thought out before he finally manages to say what he wanted to say bc his brain keeps going on tangents & he starts rambling about other shit

he was the chattiest most outgoing little kid he would be like sittin with his mom at the dmv chattin up random nearby people he would be that kid at school who keeps sucking the sub into a conversation he wasnt shy around strangers At All but if he saw someone in like some big weird costume all of a sudden hes hiding behind moms leg. easter bunny? fuck no. mall santa? fuck no. smokey visits his school? fuck no. halloween? Good God What Is Going On Out There

ADDICTION TW - hes def the type whos gonna get addicted to something when he makes it big. & like he'll get off it before it kills him but theres no WAY hes making it through stardom without getting hooked on Somethin for a while. & he manages to hide it for a while but as soon as someone he cares about finds out he just starts Sobbing hes so ashamed. which is probably a turning point. getting out of it would probably also give him the push he needs to get actual mental health help

he may be wildly insecure about every last aspect of his personality but at least he has no doubt that hes cute. its like hes somehow never absorbed anything bad anyones ever said about short guys or big noses or hairy backs or what have you. He Knows Hes Cute its a simple fact of life

he tends to be interested in women more than men & i wonder if part of that is bc he feels less comfortable with his attraction to men bc hes been shamed for it. like he'll hook up with guys if they initiate it & he'll talk about Cute Guys but he doesnt tend to Seek Out those relations the way he does with The Ladies. part of it is simply that He Loves The Ladies but i think part of it is hes never allowed himself to fully embrace his bisexuality

sunnys the kinda guy to take a giant bite of somethin he Just took outta the oven & be like 🫢 Ih Hot ! hes like 🫢🫢🫢🫢H & lauries like Wow I Wonder How That Happened .

#message #xsunnyx

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lec743 · 1 year

Text

Spring Trees (March TMNT all 4-1 Challenge)

I chose the writing prompts: “Spring has sprung! And like said Spring, I too am sprung!” and *Shocked Whisper* “You wouldn’t!?”

I had a lot of fun with this month’s theme~~ Hope you guy’s enjoy!

@thelaundrybitch, @turtle-babe83

*******************************************************************************************

It was spring. The trees had new greens sprouting on their branches. Birds were singing their sweet songs on the roof tops of New York. The world has a fresh new crispness that only happens when winter is thawed, and Tina was thriving. The chubby blond girl was working away on the roof top of her home, planting new sprouts and herbs into the raised garden bed and in her family greenhouse. Tina had finished planting the lavender cuttings when she heard the familiar swish/woosh sound of Leo’s portal opening.

Before Tina could say her hellos, Leo grabbed her by her shoulders and said, “We need your help!”

“Woah! What?” Tina found herself in the lair.

The lair was a mess. There were different tree roots poking out in random places and wrapped around chairs and poles and pillows. She heard an explosion going off in Raph’s room, April and Mikey were screaming about something from somewhere, and Splinter was crying over his broken tv in the middle of the lair. Donnie was nowhere to be found.

“Uh… Maybe we should get my dad for this,” she gestured vaguely to everything around her, “for whatever this is. What happened?”

Tree roots sprang out of the ceiling and walls and Leo cut them up with his twin katanas.

Leo turned to Tina and said, “Donnie has done something so incredibly stupid with his big old brain!”

“Oh, boy.” Tina dodged a root that wanted to spear her.

“He’s been messing with this weird tree plant thing and now this happened. I swear, if he’s dead because of this, I’m going to kill him,” Leo fumed.

Tina frowned too. “Now I’m mad. He promised me he’d consult me on the magical plants he planned on experimented. Promise breaker!” She shook her fist in the direction of Donnie’s lab.

Tina picked up the roots that Leo has been dicing up and examined it. The sap of the plant was blood red and it looked like it had the same consistency as blood. She licked it. It had a copper taste to it. Tina immediately spat it out and threw the root to the ground.

“Donatello Hamato! When I get my hands on you, you’ll wish this plant got to you first!” Tina shouted with every fiber of her being.

Leo looked at her in surprise as she stormed towards the kitchen. He immediately started following her. “So what’s the plant?”

“It’s a fucking Jubokko tree.”

Tina and Leo made it to the kitchen, and they found April and Mikey fighting the roots that were raiding the fridge and eating every kind of meat the Hamato family had on hand.

“Get! Out! Of! My! Kitchen!” Mikey grunted as he tried to beat back the roots with his nunchucks.

April was being chased around the kitchen island as she tried to avoid being stabbed by the roots. Leo immediately leapt in to help April.

“Mikey, where’s your mint extract?”

The orange coded turtled gave her a confused look, “Is this really the time for this?”

“Yes.”

“… It’s somewhere in my top cabinets where I keep all my other spices at.”

Finished with the meat in the fridge, the roots took Mikey’s momentary distraction and body slammed him into Tina. The blond girl and orange turtle were smacked hard into the opposite wall of the kitchen.

“Oh! You done it now,” April cried as she launched herself at the offending root and she started biting it mercilessly. The root started thrashing about like a bucking bronco. Leo ran over to the two of them. “Mikey! Tina! Are you two okay?”

Tina brushed off Leo as she got up with a pained grunt, rubbing her shoulders where she knows she’s going to be bruised. Then she started making her way for the cabinets. Mikey was less dismissive. “I’m fine, Leo. Have you had any luck getting to Donnie?”

Leo shook his head, then said, “No. It’s super dense in his lab. Using my katanas and portals weren’t working so that’s why Tina’s here.”

Mikey groaned in frustration. “We just got everything the way we liked it here! I don’t want Donnie’s experiments messing up our house!”

April was still viciously biting the root that had smacked Mikey and Tina while Leo reassured his little brother. Tina was over by the sink as she was filling up a spray bottle with one-part mint extract and two-part water. Shaking up the spray bottle, Tina walked over to the root that April was on. Then she sprayed it.

The root began to steam and shrivel from the mint and water mix and finally hung limp in April’s mouth as she sat on the floor. The black girl spat the dead root out of her mouth.

“Ugh! It tastes like blood and raw meat!” April spat out the root’s flavor from her mouth and she dry-heaved once.

“Yah. Jubokko’s don’t taste the best,” Tina stated as she helped April to her feet.

“Is mint extract really the only way to defeat this tree?” Leo asked, looking exasperated by the simple method.

“No. We could burn the tree down, this is just less destructive,” Tina stated as she emphasized her point by shaking the spray bottle.

“I have more mint extract and water bottles. I can make more,” Mikey said.

“No. This will do. Mikey. Will you actually make a boiling bucket of water and fill it with mint extract, lemon juice, and jalapeño extract. We’ll need it for the actual tree and not just for its roots,” Tina asked.

Mikey saluted. “You can count on me.

“I’ll stay and help Mikey,” April stated, “You and Leo go get Donnie.”

“Oh, we’re way ahead of you!” Leo said as he grabs Tina’s wrist and started pulling her towards Donnie’s lab.

The whole family was kept busy by the roots, even with Tina’s home remedy killing off the roots. It just wasn’t killing off the tree itself. Splinter and Raph were keeping the roots from trying to going outside of the lair while Mikey and April worked together to make the weird concoction. Leo and Tina were the main force driving themselves through Donnie’s lab as Tina sprayed and Leo chopped through the roots.

Eventually, after so long and Tina was officially out of her spray bottle mixture, Leo and Tina made it to the heart of the problem in Donnie’s lab. A normal looking tree had taken full root in the middle of Donnie’s lab. Donnie himself was fused inside of the tree and his eyes were blood red.

The tree spoke through Donnie. “Spring has sprung! And like said Spring, I too am sprung! You and your pathetic attempts to destroy me mean nothing. I will continue to grow! I will feed for now and forever!”

Tina pulled out her little fan and said, “Oh shut up, you stupid hunk of wood.” Tina began to glow pink as she used her magic to physically restrain the evil tree.

Leo chopped away more roots that tried to spear the both of them. “Tina, what are you doing?”

“I’m trying… To forcefully… Separate Donnie… From the tree,” Tina grunted as she held out her fan as a focus.

The tree popped, but the Jubokko only laughed through Donnie.

“Leo! Tina! It’s ready!” Mikey yelled from the entrance of Donnie’s lab.

With a swipe of his wrists, Leo made a portal and April and Mikey stepped through, holding a large pot together that steamed like a sauna. The smell that came out of the pot was an unpleasant smell, like what happens when you mix all the colors of a finger paint project together. The steam shriveled up the leaves of the Jubokko and its smug laugh died instantly.

“You wouldn’t,” it whispered in shock.

“Oh, wouldn’t we!?” April spat at the evil tree.

“Dump it there,” Tina pointed at the area of the tree where the roots and trunk connect.

April kicked over the giant pot and Leo caught the liquid with his portal and made another portal appear at where Tina directed. As soon as the liquid touched the tree, the Jubokko possessed Donnie screamed in agony. Tina managed to force the tree away from Donnie and pull him out of the tree, before the Jubokko could die and take Donnie with it.

The tree shriveled up as Tina pulled Donnie’s unconscious body towards them using her wind magic. Once Donnie was within reach, Leo, Mikey, and April grabbed him and held him. Soon Raph and Splinter ran into Donnie’s Lab.

“Is he okay?”

“How’s Purple? How is my son?”

Raph and Splinter asked at the same time.

“He’s a bit bruised, but he looks okay,” April said.

Donnie groaned as he started to come to. “Ugh. I feel awful.”

“Do you think you can stand,” Mikey asked.

“Yah I think so.”

“Are you feeling okay,” Tina asked, once Donnie was on his feet.

“That’s debatable,” Donnie said as rubbed at his head like he had a headache.

“Good.” Tina said. Then she decked him.

Everyone gasped as Donnie buckled from the force and fell on his ass.

“Ow!” Donnie yelled as he grabbed his jaw. “What was that for!?”

Tina grabbed Donnie by the lip of his upper plastron as she stood over his form. “What in god’s name were you thinking? Are you trying to die? Are you trying to kill everyone you care and love? Do you have any idea in how much danger you were in? Like truly? Do you understand just how stupid and dangerous and scary this all was? You could have died! Your family could have died! And for what Donatello? Tell me! What the fuck were you doing with a Jubokko!?”

The turtle fam looked on in shocked silence. Donnie was tongue tied for a moment from the tears that Tina was sheading as she shook with fear and anger.

“I—I thought it’d be… advantageous to make an emergency blood bank out of a Jubokko.”

Tina let go of Donnie’s plastron and groaned into her hands as she walked away from him to try and compose herself. As Tina was wiping away her tears, Leo and April helped Donnie back up onto his feet. Mikey held Donnie’s hand more to comfort himself than to comfort Donnie. Raph and Splinter looked on silently, not knowing what they could add to the situation. Splinter put his hand on Raph’s forearm as a comforting gesture.

Tina turned back around and said in an even voice, “You want to play with magical plants? Fine. Every day, at 4pm, you are coming over to my house and you are going to study how to actually work with plants. This situation will never happen again, do you understand me?”

Donnie nodded.

“Good. Leo, portal me back home. I have sugar beats that still need planting today.”

Without another word Leo made a portal appear, and Tina left the turtle fam to clean up the mess that Donnie’s experiment caused.

#TMNT All 4 - 1 #TMNT All 4 - 1 Challenge #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #fanfiction #writing prompts #turtle babe83 #thelaundrybitch #leosgirl82 #post apocalyptic daydream #tmnt tychou #nittleboo #oc-Tina Kurama

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