Our Turtle man;

The Wirral Riddler;

Everybody's favorite Scouser;

Player of the midnight moon;

The son of mod himself;

Not only the Monkeys' best friend--

--but their best dressed friend as well;

He moves the moon that kid;

The Crispy King;

An absolute Guitar God;

Superstar stage animal;

Musical master;

He looks better in your leather jacket than you do;

One of the two father's of our favorite babies - TAOTU & EYCTE-

Give it up for the birthday boy:

Miles fucking Kane ❤️🔥🎉

Do You Have Something to Tell Me?

Veneer x GN!Reader

Summary: You’re a normal teen in Mount Rageous, and the biggest Veneer fan known to man. Everybody that knows you knows it too. Unfortunately it’s highly unlikely to date the celebrity of your dreams…unintentionally.

A/N: I’m working on the request but I’ve had this for a bit so I finished it today and uploaded it for the time being.Also please forgive me if I use a certain amount of pronouns. With other content I’ve made before I’ve usually made female reader content so if I say she, as in referring to you please forgive me.

Happy New Years 🥳🎉

“Seriously (____)?” one of your friends side eyed you as as you burst out in giggles in response. You had invited your two best friends over (Liliana and Romar) for your annual two night sleepovers, and currently you were killing time by watching Veneer and Velvet’s (mostly Veneer) latest concert footage. Well not really killing time according to you, it was a way of life.

“You seriously brought us over here to watch you drool over Veneer?” Liliana continued as your giggling came to a halt. “I did not invite you over here for that. Especially since I am watching Veneer AND Velvet, get it straight guys.” You replied as Romar got up and came over to your bed where you were watching on your MacBook. “Sweetie you literally zoomed in on him and cropped his sister out…” you started kicking your feet and giggling again. “This is insane, I’ve never met anyone with such an obsession over anybody ever. You don’t even pay your boyfriend this much attention.” Liliana said and Romar agreed. “Who?” You said still staring at the screen as your friends both leaned back and cocked an eyebrow at you. “Oh, Jalen…him…right.” You sighed closing your laptop.

It was silent for a while before anyone spoke again. “How about we do our favorite activity to do when we’re all together?” Romar asked as you and Liliana perked up. “SHOPPING!” You all shouted in unison.

________________________________________________________

“Let’s do a challenge guys.” You said to your friends as you all entered the Mount Rageous Mall. “Let’s put outfits together with a budget, a timer, and a person to customize.” You said as your friends agreed. “Bet. But where will we get the details from?” Liliana asked. “A generator or something.” Romar grabbed his phone and typed in a few things. The results ended up being: a budget of 35$, 40 minutes, and Romar got you, you got Liliana, and Liliana got Romar.

“On a count of three…” Liliana started, suddenly both of you almost fell over with the quick take off of Romar running through the mall. “HEY! WE’RE NOT done y-yet…and he’s gone.” She said as you both simultaneously face palmed and took off two different directions.

Your first stop was a store that was highly underrated in your opinion. It had great and reasonably priced outfits and none of your friends knew about it (yes you were gatekeeping but who cares). You ran all up and down the store for something Liliana might like. ‘Her favorite color is green, that’s a start’ you thought. You finally found a green top in her size and were now looking for some bottoms. You looked at the timer ‘32 minutes left’. You had to hurry and find some bottoms because more people started to enter the store. ‘Huh, guess this store’s not too underrated anymo-” your thoughts were cut short as you noticed someone running at the same pace towards you, and quite literally collided with them.

‘Sh*t that hurt’. The person you collided into let out a sort of high pitched “OW” that was very dramatic and dragged out. He almost sounded like…no. You sat up planning to apologize to the person, hoping it would roll over and you could be on your way. After all you only had 29 minutes left to checkout then hit up the accessory store.

“I’m sorr-”

“Ow, what the hell’s wrong with you?”

That shut you up real quick. What weren’t about to do was apologize to a blockhead. There was something weird about the way he responded. His high pitched voice had deepened when he came to his senses. “Excuse me?” You said standing up as he did too. The guy had a purple hoodie on covering his hair, but left some strands of it hanging, which was green. He had on glasses covering his eyes, pale white skin, and purple lipstick. He almost reminded of someone but you couldn’t put your finger on it.

“You should watch where you’re going next time.” The boy said dusting himself off. Now you were getting angry and the guy stuttered a bit. “Wait that’s not what I-” “Who do you think you are?” You blurted out.

“I was just saying…”

“Well maybe if you’d stop running your mouth every three seconds, your future altercations could be less painful.” And with that you grabbed your items off the floor, and made your way to the checkout leaving the boy stunned.

________________________________________________________

After hitting up the accessory store you and your friends had planned to meet up in the food court. “I seriously think I won this, like no joke.” Romar said. “Absolutely not it was me!” Liliana said shaking him. “I don’t know Lili, the outfit I picked out for you was kinda cute.” You said as you three went back and forth.

“Y’all are exhausting and I’m hungry, let’s eat.” Romar said and the disagreement was over as you three frantically traced the smells in the food court. Once in line you told your friends about the interaction with the rude guy you’d met in the store you went to. “Girl I woulda beat his as*” Lili said getting rowdy. “Uh we don’t condone violence over here mam.” Romar laughed as you two chuckled.

Once you ordered Romar offered to wait for everyone’s food and Lili took a phone call. You decided to sit down at a empty table and scroll through social media to kill time. You had scrolled endlessly for a few minutes before a Veneer edit popped up on your for you page. You stopped and watched it again, and again, and again, and maybe another time.

It’s only when a sudden voice snapped you out of your daydream, “Hey.” You jumped quickly and looked where the voice was coming from. It was that rude dude from the store earlier behind you. Rolling your eyes you quickly got up to leave but he stopped you, “Wait please don’t go.” He said. ‘He thinks I’m really gonna stay after the way he was talking to me earlier’ you thought, but you did stay.

You looked up at him waiting for him to speak again, you also noticed him eyeing your phone. The Veneer edit was still on repeat. ‘How embarrassing’ you turned your phone off and laughed nervously. You wondered if he had been behind you when you had the edit on loop, or if you were almost drooling or flustered at all.

“What is it?” You asked him as he turned his attention back to you. “Oh right um,” he sat down in the chair across from you, “I just wanted to apologize for earlier. I don’t usually act that way I actually felt really bad.” He said as you eyed him, like you were scanning him. “I’m so serious, like what I was saying I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I have a lot of things to think about right now and I guess I didn’t think too hard on how to approach the situation.” He continued. You “scanned” him even more, he seemed sincere.

Suddenly your face softened and you could to tell his worry dropped a little too. “It’s ok I get it, I’m sorry for not hearing you out I was just in a rush.” He smiled a bit at this. “So what’s your name?” He asked. “I’m (____). What about you?” You asked. “Oh I’m V-Victor.” He said almost as if he was thinking too hard. “Nice to meet you Victor.” “You too.” “So do you live around here?” You two were in such deep conversation you didn’t see your friends staring you and this boy down until the had to frantically wave at you. You let them know you’d be there soon with your face and they took off somewhere in a hurry. Actually a couple people did, there was a little crowd forming at the front of the mall.

“What’s going on?” You said looking at the front, mid conversation. Victor looked almost panicked for a moment but calmed his face. “Not sure but I think I have to get going.” He said grabbing his bags. “Ok I get it, do you mind if I ask you one more thing though?” you asked. “Hit me.” He replied. “Why are you wearing glasses, can I see your eyes before you go?” You chuckled as he did the same. “Not this time, maybe another time.” He smiled at you, grabbed his last bag, and just like that he was gone.

‘Another time?’ You thought. He’s gotta be stupid there’s like a one in a thousand chance you’ll ever run into him again at Mount Rageous. You looked down at your phone and on top of it laid a piece of paper. You opened it to find a note: “Call me sometime? ;)” with a phone number under it and Victor’s name. He was quick with it.

Was he flirting with you? Why else would he put a winky face. ‘Little does he know, I’m loyal to my boyfriend’ you thought. “And my future husband Veneer.” You thought out loud before quickly closing your mouth and hoping nobody heard you. That’s when you realized more than half of the people at the food court was gone.

Suddenly Lili came up to you and grabbed your hand, “Come on come on! (Name) you will not believe what’s happening!” She sqeauled. “What? Just tell me!” You shouted while she dragged you to the front of the mall. “No you have to see it for yourself.” She said. “Nope,” you stopped and pulled your arm back, “I won’t go until you tell me what it is.” You tried being stubborn and it was working, Lili’s eye twitched a bit. “Fine! You wanna know so bad, it’s Velvet!” She sqeauled loosing her composer. “Velvet? As in-” “THE Velvet! Superstar and sibling to your man Veneer yes!” But you had only heard up to the Veneer part because you took off.

thinking about... biker bf!changbin??

pairing: seo changbin x reader

wc: 0.6k

warnings: drabble, fem aligned but any gender can read (changbin refers to reader with female terms), language, suggestive, i guess the reader's not wearing a helmet?? BUT THIS IS FICTION, PRACTICE SAFE DRIVING WEAR ONE

a/n: "thank you dark" we all say in unison (they said they'd pay me to write this)

biker bf!changbin who waits for you outside your house on his motorcycle, his helmet on. he looks sexy and absolutely mysterious, but once he sees you, all that changes. he takes off his helmet, running his hand through his black curls. the smile he gives you melts your heart.

"you wanna ride?" he grins, and you snicker at his comment to distract him from your heated cheeks.

"and what are you implying, mister?" you tease, and he rolls his eyes playfully before pulling you in to kiss you sweetly. your hands rest on his pecs, covered by a thin black compression shirt you'd much rather rip off of him.

"you know what i mean. now, get on. we don't have all night!"

biker bf!changbin who keeps one steady hand on his ride and another on the small of your back as you lower yourself onto the seat, words of praise spilling from his pretty pink lips. you've had your reservations about coming along with him, given the things you'd heard about accidents, but he's convinced you to go on a moonlit ride with him.

"that's my girl." he murmurs as he helps you settle onto the seat, and you swear your stomach is doing a series of complicated backflips.

biker bf!changbin who's cheeks flush the color of pink carnations as you tightly wrap your arms around his waist, resting your head on his shoulder as he drives. he knows you're holding on for dear life, and he's so proud of how brave you are.

biker bf!changbin who ALWAYS lets you choose the music when you're with him. if it's an artist he doesn't care that much for, he'll suck it up. just so he can ride with you again and again.

biker bf!changbin who is a true gentleman, always making sure you're safe and secure at any chance he gets. the minute you tell him you're uncomfortable or you want to get off, best believe he is pulling over and helping you off. if you want him to, he will walk you home, his leather jacket slung around your shoulders and his arm around your waist, one large hand resting gently on your hip.

biker bf!changbin who turns his head so he can press soft kisses along your jaw at a red light. when you complain about him not keeping his eyes on the road, he'll make some flirty comment like "how can i? when you're here, looking so beautiful, i can't help but want to kiss you all over. i'll leave my mark on you, yeah?"

biker bf!changbin who hates anyone even trying to put their greasy hands onto his prized motorcycle. you and your soft, careful fingers are quite literally the only exception. he'll teach you all his tips and tricks to getting it working the best, complimenting your "adept talents" with a look of pure adoration and devotion flashing across his espresso-colored eyes.

biker bf!changbin who can't hide the dazzling smile that grows on his lips when he speeds up and you hold on tighter, squeezing your eyes shut.

"too fast!" you yelp meekly. changbin chuckles, his voice coming out low and comforting, like a magic medication to soothe your racing heart.

"shh, it's okay. binnie's got you, baby. you're doing so well."

biker bf!changbin who is simultaneously the hottest and loveliest man alive to you. forever yours. your biggest fan and your closest friend. and he's cool as shit, too.

@evermourning, ©2023. all rights reserved.

Incoming rant about The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, Herlock Sholmes from The Great Ace Attorney, and the BBC Sherlock (no major spoilers ahead I promise).

A preface before I begin; I was never a big fan of Sherlock Holmes or any adaptation of the stories. I've seen Elementary although I was very young so I only have the vaguest of memories of enjoying it, and my roommate had me watch a couple BBC Sherlock episodes when I was a tween/young teen. My mother claims she tried to get me into Sherlock Holmes but I'm rather skeptical. Anyhow, onto the story.

Back in March my boyfriend bought me the Ace Attorney games for my birthday which included the Great Ace Attorney Chronicles (or Dai Gyakuten Saiban for those who are still stuck on the pre-localization names ;p). I was on my flight home from my birthday trip after I got the news my manager fired my brother while I was out of the state and figured why not, I'd start playing the first TGAA game on the flight. I'd probably enjoy myself and I couldn't sleep.

Second biggest mistake of the year (first biggest was trusting Les Schwab to do my brake job). I. Was. Hooked. I played the first case and fell in love with Kazuma instantly (he's so Zero shaped!). I played the second case and realized that calling him Zero shaped was way too accurate. We all know what happened there. Most important to this rant, I met Herlock Sholmes (more on my opinions on him later). I could barely put the game down but I had to take a break due to finding a new job and getting adjusted. I ended up finishing the game in June or July, one of the two. I finished the final case of the first game in one long 12 hour gaming session it was that good (my back didn't thank me though).

Now, the man of the hour: Herlock Sholmes. I didn't think much of him initially. He was simultaneously charming and annoying in the second case but as I played more he grew on me. I cried when the start of 1-5 happened. He clawed his way up into like the top 7 favorite characters at the time. The ending of the game with him playing his violin made me bawl my eyes out. I. Loved. This. Game.

It took a few more months to start and finish the second game. In between Adventures and Resolve I played Skyward Sword, Minish Cap, and some others so I had a healthy break. I came back to play Resolve and finished it like two months ago. It hit me in the gut just as hard as the first game did although there are a great many things I'd tweak and do differently. But Herlock Sholmes... man, he's not my favorite but he's up there underneath Kazuma and Van Zieks.

Anyhow, I finished the game but the hyperfixation had started and would not let me go. I've never been one to go out and seek fanfiction due to... personal stuff but I had a feeling I didn't want to go probe the depths of AO3 yet for fear of crying. I started a graveyard shift at my job which severely limited my ability to talk with people about stuff and also there's so many major spoilers but very few people I knew had played the game. A thought occurred to me, however. What about Sherlock Holmes audiobooks? I have an auditory processing issue which has made listening to audiobooks hard but I decided to give it a go. Perhaps it would satiate the TGAA hyperfixation hunger.

I found the ones produced by Magpie Audio, expertly narrated by Greg Wagland. Go check him out, he has over 77 videos of Sherlock Holmes audiobook recordings and all of them are a minimum of 40 minutes, often times far more. I went through over 30 hours of audiobook in a few weeks listening to these. Sherlock Holmes is such a good character and I can understand how and why he took late Victorian England by storm. And you know what the best part is?

Herlock Sholmes is the most faithful adaptation I have personally seen as a character of the original Sherlock Holmes.

They got so many of Sherlock's little idiosyncrasies right and you can tell the entire team were genuine fans of the books. I listened to Mr. Wagland's narration *and I saw 221B Baker of the games*. Especially the jack knife impaling the communications to the mantle being referenced in the game? The sheer mess of the flat? It's so good!

My roommate (whom is also a Sherlock Holmes fan) noticed my newest hyper fixation that spawned off of TGAA and that reignited his Sherlock Holmes obsession. He was a fan of the BBC Sherlock and now recognizes it was not a very great show but it's a comfort media for him nonetheless. He just dragged me into rewatching it and... okay, it's playing into a lot of inaccurate Sherlock tropes I don't like but goddamn Martin Freeman carries the whole show. I love his John Watson because it feels like a reasonable version of a modern, younger Watson. He feels real in a way. I do like the fact that even in the first episode, it's established that John and Sherlock can make each other laugh and smile just like in the books. I don't forgive them calling Sherlock a sociopath, however (speaking as someone with a brother that has been diagnosed with being a high-fuctioning sociopath). He's AuDHD to the max and deserves recognition in that department.

All of this to say, I can trace my current Sherlock hyperfixation back to Mega Man. Finding Mega Man in 4th grade led to watching the Ace Attorney anime in late 2021 which led to playing The Great Ace Attorney and that led to listening to Sherlock Holmes. I don't know why I decided to make this post but maybe I might start live blogging this shit? All in all, this is going to be a wild ride.

10 Fandoms, 10 Characters, 10 People

Thanks for the tag @jaywalkers <3. I love your list of characters, you’ve got great taste : )

Rules: name 10 of your favourite characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people to do the same

1) Andrew Minyard from All For the Game

My blorbo of all time probably. No character has given me brainrot and writing inspiration the way he does and likely no character ever will. This post sums up his appeal perfectly

2) Lan Wangji from Mo Dao Zu Shi

My newest blorbo from my most recently joined fandom. What can I say, I’m a sucker for incredibly queer competent stoic prob neurodivergent men that are absolutely insane about one person. When I watch the MDZS donghua, I literally have to pause every time he comes on the screen just so I can stare at him a bit, so you could say I’m a bit obsessed

3) Kim Theerapanyakul from KinnPorsche

He’s this weird little guy that is simultaneously the most competent character in the show and the biggest cringe-fail loser. He looks so suave and cool on the surface with his whole Taylor Swift by day mafia prince detective by night thing but then you realize he’s actually a complete nerd with a whole ass literal murder conspiracy board hidden behind a giant selfie portrait of himself and I love him so much (also he’s played by Jeff Satur, who makes my aesthetic attraction senses go haywire, but that’s neither here nor there)

4) Kyuzo from Samurai 7

My 1st fictional crush and prob my earliest blorbo. My type in favorite fictional male character (hypercompetent stoic character that doesn’t talk much with bonus points for iconic hair) can 100% be attributed to him. His story was the earliest villain redemption arc I can remember encountering in media (this was the 1st anime I ever watched so I was like 4 or 5 when I 1st saw this guy) and so for me I always think of him when I see people talking about iconic redemption arcs (sorry Zuko)

5) Midorima Shintarou from Kuroko no Basket

At the peak of my high school sports anime phase, this guy was my favorite. He’s tall, he’s green, he’s an anime glasses character™️, he’s tsundere, he’s prissy, he’s weird af, he’s got one of the most bonkers basketball skills ever, and he’s even an astrology girlie. What’s not to love

6) Merlin from BBC Merlin

BBC Merlin is the fandom that sucked me in at a time where I thought I was growing out of fandom and fanfic (spoiler alert: I very much was not) and it’s responsible for completely changing my relationship with fandom into something much more intense than it was previously. And it’s all thanks to this funky skinny wizard man who for whatever reason captivated me enough that I read hundreds of thousands of fan-created words about him for nearly a year and a half

7) Jasnah Kholin from The Stormlight Archive

She’s one of the rare canonically asexual female characters, and she’s even from a major fantasy book series too! I fixated on this character long before I knew I was ace (though perhaps that should’ve been a clue lol), mostly because I just thought she was so cool and I found her whole “why would I want a relationship when I’m busy with all this shit to study” attitude so relatable

8) Katara from Avatar: The Last Airbender

I wanted to be her so badly when I was a kid y’all have no idea. She just made such an impression on me because she’s so cool and so strong but also unapologetically and obviously feminine and that really struck a chord with young me and is prob the reason why I didn’t really have a “not like the other girls” phase cuz she was revolutionary for little me’s idea of how a “girl” can be. To this day she is the character that to me has the coolest powers ever

9) Cassandra of Troy from Greek Mythology

It’s prob weird to include her but I was a real greek mythology girlie (in that I was into it before Percy Jackson came out) and Cassandra has always my favorite. The tragedy of her story has always been very appealing to me and upsettingly relatable in a lot of ways

10) Kym Ladell from Purple Hyacinth

Ms. Kym one of those characters that’s ostensibly the comedic relief except nope she’s hiding oceans of pain under her smile. She’s got trauma and a tragic backstory that she hides from the rest of the main characters in one of the strongest “this is fine” performances you’ve ever seen

Tagging: @stabbyfoxandrew @alcego @paradoxolotl @halfpintpeach @justadreamfox @wulfrann @quensty @ittyybittybaker @seasy33 @nanatsuyu

MAY THE BEST MAN WIN

competing for the best toast at their best friends' wedding, calum and tanner go from being pretend rivals to… something like friends. maybe a little more? may the best man win.

read on ao3

part one

“Tanner, right?”

The blonde woman dressed in a magenta sweater, baggy jeans, and green sneakers turns to find the owner of the voice that just spoke to her, ripping her gaze from the photograph on the wall. 

“Yep, that’s me,” she says with a bright smile.

The man holds his hand out to her to shake. “I’m Ryan. Big fan, and also a friend of Lou’s.”

Tanner smiles even bigger, but instead of shaking his hand, she pulls him into a hug. “Ryan! Oh my goodness, it’s so good to finally meet you!”

It’s the opening night of their mutual friend Lou’s newest photography collection at a gallery in London. Both Tanner and Ryan are photographers, which is how they know Lou, but they’ve never met, with Ryan constantly on tour with 5SOS and Tanner always chasing down new projects in new cities. Tanner has followed Ryan for so long and somehow had never been able to meet him, despite being a huge fan of his work.

“I can’t believe we’re finally in the same city at the same time,” Ryan says.

“I mean, I couldn’t miss Lou’s new stuff! Everything he does is so inspiring.” Tanner motions at the space they’re in, filled with fellow creatives and Lou’s photographs blown up to being a few feet tall a piece. 

Ryan laughs, watching as the blonde woman in front of him stares at the art surrounding them with stars in her eyes. “He always cites you as his biggest inspiration, Tanner.”

She shrugs, her eyes fixating on a photograph of an antique watch that Lou has manipulated a lot in Photoshop, warping the edges and adding in colors. She loves it and makes a mental note that she wants to talk to Lou about it later. “Life and art and inspiration and ideas… we all share it. It’s not yours or mine or his. It’s ours.”

Tanner refocuses her gaze onto Ryan to find him shaking his head at her. “Y’know, I always wondered if your ‘spiritual, perpetually philosophical and uplifting’ thing was just for Instagram.”

Tanner rolls her eyes. “I’m not like that. What you see is what you get.” 

Ryan smiles. “Good. The best people are like that.”

She nods, her smile matching his. “Totally.”

“Tanner! Ryan! You made it!” Lou appears from the crowd with his arms open for his two friends.

“You know I don’t turn down a chance to come to London,” Tanner chimes while she hugs the photographer. 

“The show is sick, man,” Ryan tells his friend, hugging him after Tanner lets go.

“Surprised both of you could make it, honestly,” Lou chuckles.

“Literally! I’ve been hoping to meet Tanner for so long now.”

Tanner blushes and shrugs. “I am just a girl with a camera and a dream.” 

Ryan and Lou laugh loudly at her comment and share some kind of knowing glance. 

“The guys are gonna lose their minds when they find out I used my days off to come to London and meet the Tanner Thorne.” 

Tanner raises her eyebrows. “The guys?”

She knows who 5SOS is, and she assumes that’s who he’s referring to. Who doesn’t know who they are? How do they know who she is? Sure, photographers and some models know who she is, but people don’t just know who photographers are, even if they’re the ‘famous’ ones. 

Ryan laughs quietly. “You know, the loud, tall, gangly men in 5 Seconds of Summer.” 

She rolls her eyes. “I know who they are, Ryan. Why would they lose their minds that you met me?”

She’s really that clueless? Ryan thinks.

“Tanner, you and Valerie are one of the most iconic best friend duos on the planet. Everyone knows who you are,” Lou explains. He’s used to Tanner being like this. She’s humble and unaware of the effect she has on people. It’s endearing. 

Valerie Summers is Tanner’s lifelong best friend. She’s also one of the biggest supermodels in the world. Tanner and Valerie were discovered simultaneously, with Tanner behind the lens of each photograph of Valerie that caught the media’s attention. When Valerie got her first modeling contract, a photographer that worked with the agency asked Tanner to be their apprentice. At the age of 17, the best friends move to New York to begin their careers in fashion. 

Their careers took off, with Valerie eventually moving to LA to pursue work there and Tanner beginning the start of her nomadic lifestyle that she still leads. They don’t see each other much, but at every fashion week or awards show, you can find them attached at the hip the entire night. Tanner knows Valerie is a star, but thinks of herself as just a girl in a press pit, taking pictures and hiding in the wings.

“You didn’t hear it from me, but Ashton is obsessed with Valerie. Watches every single interview she does, buys any magazine with her face on it, says it’s the biggest goal of his life to have her breathe on him.”

Tanner snorts with laughter. Ashton Irwin, the drummer, has been Valerie’s celebrity crush for years. Val has never had the guts to approach him, even though they follow each other on Instagram. It’s too funny of a coincidence. Valerie bought Ashton’s solo album on vinyl and has it framed in her bathroom. Their obsession is mutual, and nobody knows it. Until now.

“You’re shitting me,” Tanner giggles, but when she looks at Ryan, she can see he’s being completely serious. 

“Obsessed.” 

“Val’s into Ash, Ryan,” Lou says, laughing just as much as Tanner is.

Ryan’s jaw falls open. “What? No, no way!” 

Tanner shakes her head, still laughing. “Obsessed. Superbloom is her most played album of all time.” 

With wide eyes, Ryan shakes his head too, starting to laugh with his two friends. 

Deciding it’s fate that brought them together, Tanner knows what she has to do. She needs to get her best friend on a date with Ashton Irwin, and the way to make it happen is right in front of her.

“Here, let’s get them together, Ryan. Give me your phone. You should totally give Ashton her number.”

Hate That I Love You 12,5,4,3

[Current Ask game]

130 Prompts #22 - Hate That I Love You - Read on AO3

#ridspoilers

12: What do you like least about this fic?

I don't think there's anything I dislike about this 'fic. It's one of my pride & joys <3 There are several tweaks I would make to H.P.'s family tree if it weren't set in stone, but other than that, I like it.

I think it's one of my most creative character and plot ideas and contains one of my best argument scenes. I love Ambrosine. Something is so very wrong with him and you really get to see that in this piece in a way you don't for any other he appears in. My man did all of it and I care (about him).

My main "issue" with it is that it's backstory for an unpopular character, who is a toddler in this scene when he's an old man in the canon (Bigger investment and learning curve for readers), and the lore here is woven in with my longfic, which makes this piece difficult to recommend to others.

If anything else, since it's 5 years old I'm sure it could use a polish to bring it up to my current writing style. There are places that read choppier to my ear than they used to. But then, I'm literally millions of words deep in my FOP content now, so getting sucked into nitpicking it wouldn't go over well. Every now and then on a reread I stumble across a line written in a style I've outgrown and I do change it, but mostly I leave my stuff intact.

Overall, I'm happy with this piece. Like I said, I love Ambrosine. Hands down one of my best OCs. Absolutely not in a morally way, but in his twisted, anxiety-induced haze.

3: What's your favorite line of narration?

That leads well into the next question about narration I like, because I still love this unhinged exchange between two parents who just threw their crying son off a balcony:

Ambrosine sighed and reached into his pocket. Holding the forget-a-cin canister in front of his son's eyes, he pushed down the top and flashed the light. The pre-bottled magic jumped like a spark from the canister to his forehead. Fergus staggered backwards, rubbing his face with both palms, and went over the edge of the balcony again. His square wings snapped out, desperately beating to no avail. Both parents watched his tumble with lips pressed together hard. Solara nudged Ambrosine with her shoulder. "See, that wasn't so bad. How many doses do you have left?" Ambrosine checked the label on the canister. "Eight. And I sh-should be taking notes for class tomorrow."

Specifically, what makes this scene for me is the way Ambrosine checks how many doses are left on that can. It's just haunting and perfect to me. It simultaneously conveys how little concern he has and implies he's willing to keep this up until the end... even though his infant son is screaming and pleading at him to stop.

Also, the idea that this is all for a school project on central test theory is just... yeah (Central test theory is something I had to learn formulas for while getting my psych major, and the whole thing drove me nuts because, I kid you not, the basic explanation of central test theory is that if you had the ability to erase someone's memories a lot of times, you could have them perform a test over and over and whatever the average of their test scores is, that's their true score. I was not the biggest fan of that class).

Ambrosine living in a world where central test theory is real is just. awful, with the implication that he doesn't really see what he's doing as wrong, because hey... It's part of his major!

I can see a lack of polish in this scene that I'd tweak if I were writing this piece now, but the "checking the label" bit would definitely remain untouched.

Later in this piece (as well as in Origin), Ambrosine does some pretty messed up stuff. These little moments are a core part of his character to me, because the big stuff - like getting one of his grandkids literally addicted to shapeshifting on purpose - IS messed up, but that's nothing new for Ambrosine. He's always been "off." It's why he goes and does things like name his daughter after the name H.P specifically told him he might want for his own kid someday.

You can see Ambrosine's weird behavior in the way his filter breaks, even from the very first chapter of Origin of the Pixies, when he slips out of his prim and proper character long enough to tell Mr. Thimble, "Well, you're super annoying and I don't like you at all," which is far more juvenile than most of his dialogue (In itself a nod to H.P.'s bizarrely casual dialogue in FOP canon).

You also see this part of his character in the way Ambrosine disrespects Anti-Fairy culture (Everything from avoiding certain phrases around Anti-Cosmo in Frayed Knots to straight-up confronting H.P. in Origin and telling him his ancestors would be disappointed that he would dare form a friendship with Anti-Bryndin).

I like Ambrosine because I think he fits well in the FOP world, which is populated by ambiguously bad parents who aren't easy to cut ties with. He's a pleasant, chill guy who runs an honest business. He spared his teen son's life after a duel to the death. He took his adult child in when he showed up with baby Sanderson in tow.

He gave H.P. a decent childhood, even taking him to sports games. But that's the point. He's this blurry figure that H.P. has incredibly mixed feelings about and can't cut out of his life, especially when he ends up raising dozens and hundreds of pixies and needs all the help he could get.

Ambrosine's always been a nervous character, and his behavior stems from a background of abuse, tough expectations in his youth, having a kid while at the Fairy Academy, a war he was forced into, the burden of suddenly becoming his cruel father's sole surviving heir... yeah. Ambrosine, my beloved...

[Cnt'd under the cut]

5: What part was hardest to write?

Mmm... This piece contains some early character studies I did (which I tweaked and put in the italicized sections). I actually enjoy writing romantic / steamy scenes for character study purposes because I feel like it helps me strip a character down to their raw state and evaluate them better.

I have a few Ambrosine and Solara scenes that I've never posted and never intended to (because... OC parents of a character who's elderly in show canon; we don't need to put that on the fanfic website). I actually have them formatted nicely on a separate site because I've debated sharing them over the years, but it never felt right to me. They're vanilla fade to black scenes, but there are lines in there I love.

If people are interested then I might post them on AO3, but again, they're OCs and the FOP fandom is pretty quiet these days, so probably not. Maybe if I build my confidence with other pieces first.

Anyway, I genuinely like those early character studies, so taking those and trying to reformat them in a way that fit this piece was difficult. I think I'd do it differently or not include them at all if I were to redo it now, but I wanted to share those scenes because I had them and I liked them.

4: What's your favorite line of dialogue?

She swallowed. Her hand moved up to the place where he had held the canister. She took her hair between her fingers and clenched it tight. "Amby, I'm sorry. I love you - the good you - but this isn't working, and it's not fair. Please." Her voice left spiderwebbing cracks across the word. "Please let me go." "I can't do that." "Please, Amby. I think it would be for the best if we just-" "I know what will make you stay." Before she could grab his hand, Ambrosine shoved the canister against his own temple and blasted it. He heard Solara screech his name before his eyes rolled back in his head. His arm went over the railing, his knees were falling, and the only thing left to see was white. … So, why was he in the hospital?

Top contender for one of my favorite scenes I've ever written. I hope it came across well to readers, but I really like it. The cutting off your girlfriend / mother of your child with "I know what will make you stay" before you blast yourself with a memory wipe is just... awful. Ambrosine is... I really like him.

Personally, I think this scene was done really well. It's not a morally good thing to do, but I think I built things up so you can understand Ambrosine's desperation. Also, I think Ambrosine turning the canister on himself (after repeatedly using it on his child and partner) was a good move that makes logical sense in the story flow and hopefully wasn't obvious before this moment.

I wanted it to really come across as this "blast" moment where the reader gets thrown into this horrible situation alongside Solara, and I think it worked. It's my favorite. I would've been tempted to use this scene in an original work, but FOP canon just lends itself much more neatly to "people carrying memory wiping stuff around," so there's that.

Thanks for asking!

HI!!! Red Dwarf or the ask meme please! I'd much like to know your interpretations and thoughts! <3

Im throwing this under a cut because, boy, this is gonna be a long one

❤️Favorite character

This won't come as a surprise to many of any of you but, yeah, it's rimmer. I want to put him in situations, I want to take him out of situations, there's the full duality there. I relate to him a lot (which probably isn't a good sign lol) and I strongly believe you cannot have red dwarf without him (i mean, look at the ratings for season 7 even with the girlboss that is kochanski). His character itself has such good potential, the angst that comes with being a hologram, the touch-starved-ness (?), his entire childhood, his need for academic validation even 3 million years into the future when all who would care anyway are dead, I could go on forever.

👿Least favorite character

Don't do this to me man 😭 I don't even know if I have one?? At least not out of the main crew. There's no character that actually makes me vibrate with rage in a bad way... If I did really have a think it would probably be a one-off character that was only in one episode and never mentioned again. Oh! I've just remembered, some fanon interpretations of Toddhunter honestly made my skin crawl with how horrible he is, but obviously that's just fanon, and some fanon interpretations have him as honestly a really good meaning guy- looking at you, Work Thing ;)

💐Comfort character

If you can't guess at this point I honestly don't know what to say. It's rimmer, look I know I know, the comfort character who has had no comfort in his entire life/death but *slaps roof of car* this baby can fit so much projection! He's so varied, he's gay to me, he's bi to me, he's autistic to me, he has ptsd to me, he's yearning, he's in denial, he's just- HE *I am dragged away by a lone hand through the doorframe before I can continue*

😍Character you have the biggest crush on

Are you sensing a theme yet 😐 I'd say I don't wish to be perceived for this but let's be honest, my tags reveal all, and the majority of the fandom agrees. It's Rimmer. Again. Slightly outing myself as an x reader enjoyer here. *shaking him* I could fix him I really believe I could. (I'm glad you're the one who sent the ask, Lexie, we can both bond over being self shippers lol)

🤝Character you relate to the most

WHY IS IT ALWAYS RIMMER ON THIS ASK GAME PLEASE HELP😭😭😭 Hes a stickler for the rules (as long as they benefit him), he's probably autistic, he loves hammond organ music (very disappointed that he hates my main man Glenn Miller though 😔), he was an outcast for most of his childhood, he was bullied, he spirals at the slightest bad thing. I'm starting to really sense this isnt a good thing 😭 (I swear I'm doing okay I've got a good support system please don't worry)

🔥Character you think is overrated

I don't know?? 😭😭 I think all of red dwarf's characters really add to the material as a whole, and hey, it's not like this fandom is really big enough for overrating anything. I might say Duane Dibley, because yeah he's funny, Danny really performs well as that character but I don't really understand as to why he was so much of a fan favourite that they brought him back (for season 6 I think it was?) So if I had to say one character it would be Duane.

🧨Character you love to hate

*smacking my face against the doorframe* its rimmer again 😭😭😭 he's such a prick, especially in the early seasons man, I simultaneously want to look after him and throw him against a wall. I contain multitudes, it's okay

🙈Character you always forget exists

I guess I'd have to say Holly? He's got brilliant comedic timing and delivery (as Lovett and Hayridge) but the fact she was cut out in the later seasons and then brought back in season 8 and then gone again in the more recent ones just feels disjointed so she's easily forgotten sadly. (Yes I use she/he pronouns for Holly, she's genderfluid to me <3)

🐰Favorite non-human character

I'm gonna be honest, it would really have to be Holly. (I'm discounting Hologram Rimmer because he still sees himself as human in some way and he's had far too much screentime in this post). The comedic timing, the deadpan delivery, that amazing scene where she counts by smacking her head against the screen always makes me howl.

❤️‍🩹Character who deserved better

All of them. All of them. Rimmer, for reasons we've already gone into. Lister, the survivors guilt, he was SA'd at 12?!!, his entire relationship with Kochanski, his alcoholism, crushing loneliness, I could go on. The Cat, his entire species left him and his family because they were old and/or disabled, again loneliness. Kryten, literally in denial about his crew being dead, left alone for over 3 million years and still somehow hanging onto his sanity through episodes of androids, the need to do anything, literally anything to make sure he doesn't think to hard about anything other than laundry, honestly people need to talk about him more. Kochanski, losing her dave, stuck with this dave who looks exactly like hers but is so different, watching him destroy himself, having nothing in common with any of the crew, LONELINESS MAN.

Thank you so much for the ask! This was a long one phew

Gang Orca X Female Reader Pt. 2

Part 1, Part 3

"Well, what are you waiting for? Aren't you going to go say hi?" You wanted to punch Ember in her stupid, smart beautiful face right now. She was making you extremely nervous right about now with how much she was ushering you to talk to your idol.

"I can't just go over there! He's enjoying his peace and quiet! He probably gets hounded by the vultures and fans every day! I don't want to be weird!" You were panicking and for good reason. He's the number 10 hero and you knew he was well known despite also being labeled the #3 hero who looks like a villain.

"Yes you can and you will. You are going to have a conversation with your idol he will like what he sees." She winked at you while simultaneously dragging you towards him. What did she mean he will like what he sees? What was his type anyway? Did he even like women? It's none of your business honestly but, it didn't stop you from wondering.

"Are you two fans?" You blinked into reality realizing you were already standing in front of him and with all the times you practiced what to say if you ever faced him in person flew out the window.

"Yes but, she's the biggest fan as you can tell." Both you and Gang Orca looked down to see that you were wearing his hero shirt with Capri's that matched his color scheme. You looked like a monochromatic clown in your eyes but, now that you're in front of your all-time favorite hero you wanted the floor to swallow you up. You looked up at the sound of a chuckle.

"I would have never noticed." Now you really wanted the floor to swallow you. Not only were you embarrassed but, you were being teased by him!

"I'll be back for you Y/N, I'll doubt you have anything to worry about with such a strapping hero around." You turned to fight her but, she managed to dodge your hands moving further down the hall leaving the two of you alone.

"I'm so sorry for being annoying. I know you probably wanted to be alone-" He cut you off by setting a large palm on top of your head. His hands were huge! It covered the whole top of your head, claws included. 

"It's quite alright. You're a fan it can't be helped." You were calmed down by his baritone but you were still a bit nervous. You wanted to just talk about how amazing he was while at the same time staying quiet and not coming off as a psycho fan girl. "You don't look like a psycho fangirl. Looks can be deceiving though." You did an anime face-fault quickly getting up and not looking at him. Time to die.

"I'm not psycho I promise. I just really admire you and think you deserve much more credit and recognition than you got as of now." Don't ramble you dumb bitch, don't ramble. "I know it's hard with having flashy heroes like All Might, Endeavor, Hawks, and Mirko that get all the glory but, you're a hero like everyone else. I feel you shouldn't be judged based on your appearance. I always hated that they called you a villain look-a-like when that makes no sense. The real monsters are the ones hiding behind sheep's clothing." You stupid bitch you did it. You talked the man's ear off and now he thinks you're weird and trying to look for a polite way to escape. Lucky for you, you shall take pity on his soul. "Now excuse me I'm going to go take a long walk off a short pier." You promptly turned around intent on finding Ember and getting the hell out of there but before you can you felt an arm grab yours.

"I just..uh" You turned around to see the giant man holding on to you while shuffling on his feet and looking away. This was odd since he always held himself together never allowing someone to cause visible discomfort. However, here he was reminding you of a teenage boy caught off guard by what his parents said.

"I'm sorry for talking too much." He cut you off by shaking his head.

"No need to apologize...It's been a while since someone managed to throw me for a loop and it's just...surprising to say the least." You both stood there awkwardly shuffling not sure what to do or what to say. When you looked down at his hand he quickly let go giving a quick sorry out. Now it was back to the awkwardness as you both stood next to each other staring into the shark tank.

"Are you sure that my being here isn't annoying? I can always leave you alone." He mulled it over for a couple of seconds before answering.

"I don't mind the company." You nodded your head in the affirmative.

"Then, what's your favorite shark?" You prayed that he let you use that as a distraction and a conversation opener if he truly didn't mind your company. You felt him looking at you before he focused back on the tank.

"Mackerel Sharks." You gave a sigh of relief engaging in idle chit-chat with him while moving along to observe each tank. Despite the initial shyness and awkwardness, you found yourself enjoying his company. As expected of a man who was part dolphin (The Orca are in fact part of the dolphin family despite their name "killer whale") he knew just about every single animal in the ocean that had been discovered. Even if it was kind of expected it still impressed you how much knowledge he was able to retain. Then again when you're passionate about something it tends to stick to you. 

"This was surprisingly peaceful, I enjoyed myself." You were in a secluded part of the aquarium and you figured it had to do with the fact that he didn't want to be seen or hounded by the general public yet. 

"I enjoyed myself as well L/N-kun." You didn't want to be called by your last name feeling a celebrity shouldn't be doing that but he insisted. 

"Sooooo...." You didn't want to part ways yet. You refused! You enjoyed yourself a whole lot and you knew he was super busy but you wanted to enjoy another afternoon with him if possible.

"Can I see your phone?" You blinked at him before digging into your pocket fetching your phone and giving it to him unlocked thinking maybe he needed it. He scrolled, hit something, and pressed a few buttons before hitting one more button. You heard his phone ring puzzling you further as to why he needed your phone before he gave it back to you. You looked and your jaw dropped. He gave you his number! He put Gang with an emoji of a dolphin next to it. "That's just in case you want to...talk whenever ready." You looked up at him with widen eyes still in shock that he trusted you a regular civilian with something so personal.

"I will protect this number with my whole heart." It was dramatic but, it was important that his personal cell did not fall into the wrong hands. He chuckled petting your head again.

"I'm sure you will." He looked up behind you prompting you to turn around to see Ember with a shit-eating grin on her face. "It was a pleasure to meet you L/N-kun. I hope the two of you make it home safe." With a wave to the two of you, he turned around and you didn't move until his cape disappeared around the corner. 

"BITCH SPILL THE TEA!" You hissed at her but that didn't stop her from hanging onto you like a leech. You chose to ignore her walking out of the aquarium with her still latched onto you.

"I'll tell you later crazy." You ignored her screeching choosing to think about your secret crush on your Idol. Ugh, you were such a fangirl.

---------------------------------------------------

Thoughts?

I need to scream about the Kenobi show and well what else is tumblr for.

I’m not happy lads. Long post and spoiler warning.

I’m really not sure why I kept watching it. I think it’s because I felt a sense of obligation to see this one out because like, I don’t know I guess this felt like a last chance for Disney Star Wars for me. Book of Boba Fett was a wildly mixed bag of weird mostly for the worse of the overall storyline we seem to be getting, but more to the point doing a show about the time Kenobi is hanging out on tatooine felt like such a blatant, souless cash grab of a show concept, I guess I just wanted to see if they actually had inspiration for a character study.

They did not.

Ok, let’s just get started with the things this show does well so I can maintain a nuance of fairness before I fire the death star into this thing.

The Leia stuff is good. The Leia Obi-wan stuff is good. Does it in any way inform my overall view of the main saga films and characters in the same way Rogue One managed to do? Absolutely not. It’s cute it’s fluffy and it’s fun. The child actor for Leia does a remarkable job considering her age and Leia gets a lot of the best lines. It does nothing to develop the characters meaningfully, it doesn’t really attempt to. It’s there to make you go aw and it works.

Reva is an interesting idea played by a compelling actress. Moses Ingram carries on the proud tradition of phenomenal star wars actors attempting to breath life into garbage dialog and characterization, and when she’s given literally anything to work with, the character feels like they are from a different, better show. She is not given much to work with.

OK here we go. I’m gonna go through my points starting with the most basic problems that feed into the nuances of why this show makes me want to drive down to burbank and stage a coup.

1. The writing is bad.

It’s really, really bad. It’s embarrassingly bad. It’s Rise of Skywalker bad at points. This script feels like a low effort fan fic someone made casually on a friday afternoon.

What do I mean by that? Well let’s break it down into a few sections so I can talk about the core issues here.

a) The plot makes no goddamn sense.

The wheels that have to spin here to simultaneously bring you all those sweet sweet cameos and character interactions you pay your D+ subscription to see are kicking up so much mud, you can no longer even see what you paid for. One of the biggest issues is that this series has absolutely no choice except to end more or less exactly where it begins. Nothing can happen in this plot and we the audience know that. Star Wars is huge. This show could have been about anything. But instead it’s centered around the skywalker twins and Obi wan and Darth vader and the grand inquisitor NONE OF THESE PEOPLE CAN DIE AND ANY VIEWER KNOWS THAT.

This story is built on the idea that Obi-Wan has trauma from Vader’s fall and that’s blocking him off from the force. While I buy the trauma fine the idea that it cuts him off from the force actively contradicts any other version of the character from this time period we have ever seen. In fact Obi-Wan is canonically (this is DISNEY CANON I’m not using legends) at his strongest after Vader falls in large part because he’s closed himself off so completely from his emotions that he’s lethally focused and driven. This is the same man who will one-shot Maul shortly after the events of the series, and beat Vader in the climactic event of the prequel trilogy.

I realize this might sound like I’m just some anime nerd complaining about power scaling but that’s really not my issue, star wars has perpetually had bizarre power scaling that makes very little sense this isn’t new. My issue is that they essentially invented this version of Obi-Wan. We have nothing to show us why exactly it got so bad on Tatooine and the series DOES NOT SHOW US. 

Later on, he overcomes this and once again we are given incredibly little information as to WHY he is suddenly better out side of the power of love and friendship which is a WILD interpretation of Obi-Wan as a character. See above. This show seems to think Obi-Wan is this like, nice polite loving figure who’s never done anything wrong in his life and not THE LITERAL REASON THAT DARTH VADER EXISTS AT ALL.

And THAT is what this show fundamentally misses in it’s very premise, right out the gate before it ever starts. This show thinks Obi-Wan is Right and Good and has Feelings about how he failed Vader, and that’s a fundamental misunderstanding of the source material this is desperately riding a unicycle while juggling around.  Obi-Wan is a Flawed Mentor who doesn’t understand that he played a huge role in Vader’s fall. He is not a Good Person. Luke is a Good Person and he actively does not do what Obi-wan told him to do and that LITERALLY SAVES THE GALAXY AND THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT. This show had the chance to dive into the depths of a deeply troubled and flawed space wizard and it turned him into a fluffy marshmellow. Obi-wan in every other incarnation we have including the literal children’s cartoon is a hypocritical, conniving, scheming, preachy, arrogant, and even narcissistic dude and he’s literally one of my favorite characters in any media BECAUSE OF THESE FLAWS. I’m not saying Obi-wan is always a bastard he’s not at all and a portrayal of him as a purely bad dude would be just as wrong but you can’t just wipe away all the things that make Obi-Wan a flawed Jedi or the story just does not work.

b) The Fake Out Deaths

This show has an obscene amount of this. I would be offended by how many fake out deaths there are if I didn’t already know that all the characters survive. The fact that I do makes it nearly unbearable. The worst example of this is the grand inquisitor who literally serves no purpose in this show and could have been removed entirely and nothing would have changed. Reva is a close second because while her final appearances do a lot to help the character it’s frankly absurd that she’s survived Vader like 3 times at this point and manages to carry a child across the desert with a hole in her spine. The violence in this show is bizzare and doesn’t add up and continually contradicts itself. There’s not much more to say about this but if the writers are expecting me to feel tension because obi wan might have died under all those rocks I don’t know what the hell they think I’ve been watching all these years. They kill off exactly two named characters in this show. Both are characters we have never seen before. One is literally only named so he can be killed off (Rip my man Wade you were my favorite character) and this is treated with weight in the shows narrative. We spend more time mourning Wade than Wade gets on camera screentime.

c) The dialogue

It’s a spiritual successor to the prequels I don’t know what I expected but this feels more like Rise of Skywalker than prequels. A lot the interactions are bizzare. Reva gets such rotten lines I genuinely feel so bad for the actress who’s clearly working this as best she can. Some of the stuff in her leia interrogation is somehow palpatine has returned levels of cringe. Her arc is genuinely interesting it’s just horrendously served by her actual lines. Vader has either great lines or terrible ones no in between and they are actively worse around Reva because of the weird plot armor around her character that tbh doesn’t need to be there because you could have just written things so that she doesn’t fuck up around vader and then not die so much.

So yeah pretty much everything this show does on it’s own doesn’t work very well outside of just having Obi-wan and Leia be cute. I’ll balance that by saying that when they do good Vader lines they do REALLY good Vader lines, I’ll give them that. Obi-Wan gets absolutely no new material to work with outside the Leia stuff that’s good even if Ewan is great as always. In fact he has surprisingly few actual lines period, considering the show is named after him. I’m serious look for places where he’s not talking about someone else but reflecting what he’s actually doing and feeling and going through. For a show that’s ostensibly a character study there is very little study of his character.

2. Everything that’s good comes from something else.

The level of self plagiarism  this show is genuinely bizarre I don’t even know what to make of it. The Inquisitor fortress and obi-wan vader fight are literally lifted directly out of other media. Jedi Fallen Order has the exact same inquisitor fortress, which is broken into the exact same way, and features the exact same hallway breaking. It’s wild. And frankly, Reva is just second sister done worse. The vader obi-wan fight, arguably the highlight of this show, is also lifted directly from Rebels to the point where VADER’S HELMET BREAKS IN THE EXACT SAME PLACE. It’s genuinely embarrassing and I don’t know how they think people won’t notice this, and more to the point it proves that this show has absolutely nothing new to bring to the table. No new perspective on vader or obi-wan, no new and interesting characters, absolutely nothing we don’t already have in a better version.

3. Oh dear god what happened to Deborah Chow’s direction.

Here’s the thing. Deborah Chow is not a bad director. We know this because her mandalorian episodes are some of the best in the whole show. I was genuinely interested to see what she did with this show. The thing is: This show literally feels like it was directed by a different person.

If I am up to it maybe I will do a full scene breakdown of something from this and something from mando to showcase what I mean but all I need to say for this is that the way this is shot, the way scene’s are set and characters are followed and action is portrayed and environments are built is Terrible. The most egregious examples include: Leia outrunning four adults who are clearly slowling themselves down in full view of the camera, overuse of dark environments at critical moments in the action, Obi-wan hacking a fence while a clear way around the fence is VISIBLE IN THE BACKGROUND. The firepit that vader is suddenly barred by despite him controlling it moments before. The second ship leaving despite him stopping another ship moments before. The trench-coat. My god the trench-coat. The rebel ship with shields that can apparently withstand a star destroyer for hours. It’s immensely sloppy. There are moments where this show looks like a youtube fan project and I really am not exaggerating. Some of these shots shouldn’t have been in any final product a major media company is putting out. The dialogue is all talking heads, the action is shaky cam with no sense of environment or space building. This is the sloppiest cgi and effects work in any star wars media I’m aware of. The direction is just fundamentally terrible in ways I would expect any film maker with Chow’s resume to catch and I have no idea what the hell happened because once again, we KNOW she can do great stuff. I’m flabbergasted. Out of all the flaws of this show, this is the one I find the most inexcusable. I expected the script to be a mess, I was surprised by the self plagiarism, I am shocked and horrified by the poor directing and production on this show. I don’t even know who to blame for it. I sense meddling here but I have no idea what kind or to what degree.

4. The Anti-Clone wars.

The Clone Wars cartoon is much beloved because of all the ways in which it expanded on and breathed life into the characters of the prequel era. I would argue it single-handedly saved Anakin as a character. This show not only makes Obi-Wan a worse character by removing all of the attributes needed for drama and for the events of a New Hope to happen, but actively contradicts everything that happens in the OT. Obi-Wan’s insistence that Luke destroy Vader is now borderline insane considering he let Vader go on purpose this time. The organa’s apparently have obi on speed dial and just forgot to give him a transmitter when he shows up again, completely unnecessarily and wildly out of character. Leia having no reaction to his death in a New Hope is now extremely weird. Vader not realizing Leia is his kid is literally impossible in the events of this show.

Clone Wars gave us much needed character and theme development for the prequel era. This show actively undercuts theming, character arcs, and basic plot structure with wanton abandon.

Final thoughts:

There are any number of individual scenes you can tear apart in this show. I could type pages more material about how awful the directing is alone.

This is technically a review so here’s a score: I’m giving this show five dumpsters full of copies of Jedi Fallen Order and Rebels dvd’s, set on fire by Darth Vader himself so that Obi-Wan can escape to better media.

Does niceness last when meaninglessness hits?

(Review of ‘The Banshees of Inisherin’ watched on the 26th of January 2023)

When Martin McDonagh releases a new film, I am instantly intrigued being a big fan of ‘In Bruges’ and his latest film ‘Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri’, which saw him receive more mainstream recognition with 2 Oscar wins and 7 nominations to top it off. Thus, it was with huge expectations, I went to the premiere of his latest film, ‘The Banshees of Inisherin’, which not only sees him reunited with ‘In Bruges’ stars Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson, but also has secured him even more recognition and attention with no less than 9 Oscar nominations, including the elusive Best Directing nod, that he was snubbed for with ‘Three Billboards’. Banshees is more like ‘In Bruges’, but mostly it is completely its own bringing a fresh, thought-provoking and highly entertaining mix of pitch-black, dry Irish humour and existential dread in the midst of both national and personal crises to the table.

The story takes place on Inisherin, a small fictional island that overlooks the Irish mainland on which the civil war is raging with blasts and smoke clouds being a constant reminder of the ongoing battles. Here we meet Pádraic who is on his way to his friend Colm’s house to invite him to their daily afternoon beer at the pub. However, this day something is odd. Colm doesn’t want to go and as a matter of fact, he doesn’t even want to interact with Pádraic who is left in disbelief. Everything was okay yesterday, wasn’t it? What happened to cause this change of heart or could it be, that Colm - even worse - all of a sudden just stopped liking Pádraic? As Pádraic desperately tries to understand the situation, Colm grows increasingly annoyed until the day where everything takes a dramatic turn and Colm threatens to cut off a finger every time Pádraic disturbs him. This throws the confused Pádraic into the arms of Dominic, who is not only the son of the island’s police chief but also deemed the “village idiot”. What is Pádraic to do? Should he seek solace at home with his sister Siobhán and their animals, who never lets him down? Should he follow the often alcohol-fulled roads of Dominic? Or should he try to convince Colm to come to his senses despite the risks of ignoring his threat?

Pádraic is in his core a very simple man, yet in the hands of Colin Farrell his complex character is unfolded beautifully. From his initial confusion to his growing frustration and simultaneous deroute, Farrell embodies all of Pádraic’s emotions, while also producing laugh after laugh in his often witty interactions with Jonjo the pub owner and Jenny, his miniature donkey and - perhaps - closest and dearest friend. Ultimately, Pádraic ends up as an interesting character study. There are clear signs of depression in his traits, and it is in his meeting with the meaninglessness of his world (and existence) that Farrell takes his acting to a new level in my opinion. His mannerisms and voice work hides a depth in his character that suits McDonagh’s often razor sharp dialogues perfectly. As in ‘In Bruges’ Farrell plays opposite Brendan Gleeson, who - in the role of Colm - is much more reserved and mysterious. He first of all excels in being the blunt of the two friends and the scenes in which he confronts Pádraic are terrific. Colm is a talented violin player and he is doubting his existence; he feels a need to achieve something in life before it is too late. It is in Colm’s despair that Gleeson finds his biggest playing field and makes us reflect the most; because how long will niceness last when the world shows us its chaos and the fact that we all have an expiration date? When is it time to be egoistic? And can you really just end a friendship from one day to another? While Gleeson is perhaps the least showy of the film’s four big acting performances, he and McDonagh creates an interesting character in Colm.

Farrell and Gleeson deliver some of their finest work ever, but it is - in my opinion at least - actually the supporting cast that are the true stars here! Barry Keoghan, while balancing on the fine line of overacting, steals every scene he has as the equally annoying and endearing Dominic. On the surface, he is the “village idiot”, the black sheep of the island, but he not only holds tragic secrets but also surprising insights slowly revealed the more we get to know him. With Dominic, Martin McDonagh once again shows a talent of creating surprisingly likeable and nuanced characters who on the surface level and often in their behaviour is everything but likeable. One of the best scenes of the film is between Dominic and Pádraic’s sister Siobhán at a lake. Dominic does and says things that makes it hard to like him, but thanks to Keoghan’s acting both we and Siobhán cannot help but also show some care for him. A scene which also highlights the perhaps strongest performance in the film: that of Kerry Condon as Siobhán. Caught in between protecting her brother and wanting to escape the fecking dull prison that is the island, Siobhán is both strong-willed and caring. Condon, much like Keoghan, steals every scene she has, and manages to not only show compassion for her brother but also speak the truth without holding back. A true breakthrough performance! Finally, I feel the need to highlight Pat Shortt as Jonjo the pub owner; his line delivery in the almost lyrical dialogues had me laughing plenty of times, and Sheila Flitton as the mysterious Mrs. McCormick constantly present in the outskirts of the storyline as an ominous presence.

While the acting plays a huge part in why this film is such a brilliant viewing, it wouldn’t be a McDonagh film without his characteristic and sharp writing. With Banshees he manages to tell a story without much going on and certainly without any major, sudden changes in suspense. Yet, it flows perfectly and I couldn’t wait for each new scene. While I can totally understand why some people will be looking for the more classic narrative composition, the slow moving storyline worked perfectly for me. The interesting thing here isn’t why Colm all of a sudden doesn’t want to be friends with Pádraic; it is to see how they both react to this meaningless change of events with one forcing himself to focus inwards and the other slowly being forced to it by the actions of his previous friend. It is too see how difficult it is to break out of patterns in an enclosed society. And to realise how the world seems to be slowly ignoring everything that used to be sacred. Additionally, only a few writers manage to write such witty dialogue as McDonagh does here; the exchange of lines flows like a perfectly composed melody often spiced with his signature dark humour. 

On top of a great script, McDonagh has put together a team that simply makes the film an utter delight to watch and listen to. Ben Davis’ cinematography is beautiful and contributes some great views of the island, and especially a series of atmospheric montages were visual highlights for me. Mikkel E. G. Nielsen - fresh off an Oscar win for his editing of Sound of Metal - edits the film flawlessly and plays a huge part in the great flow of the film and the melodic nature of the dialogue. Not even close to being the most showy editing, but that just goes to highlight that his more invisible editing is just as important in creating good, cinematic experiences. Finally, Carter Burwell delivers another moody and atmospheric score for McDonagh. A score that never takes center stage, but helps highlight the sombre, reflective atmosphere of the story.

McDonagh brings (for him) typical topics to the table: the nature of friendship, the study of violence causing violence, and the recognition of outsiders. But he also draws clear parallels to the civil war simultaneously raging on the mainland and how wars and conflicts, which we often struggle to find meaningful, can change our relationships and conditions of life from one instant to another. I also could not help but feel Colm’s often excessive need to be dramatic and (perhaps unfairly) blunt towards Pádraic as a comment to the current climate of societal discussion. All in all, ‘The Banshees of Inisherin’ is McDonagh bringing his best as a writer and a director, a feast of wonderful actors giving it their best and a delightfully crafted treat of slow-paced comedic drama. Right up my fecking alley!

4,5/5

Reviewing the All Elite Wrestling personnel 2022 Edition (Part 3) -

Part 0 - https://dreadwhoop.tumblr.com/post/697331836428353536/reviewing-the-all-elite-wrestling-personnel-2022

Part 1 - https://dreadwhoop.tumblr.com/post/697332640769081344/reviewing-the-all-elite-wrestling-personnel-2022

Part 2 - https://dreadwhoop.tumblr.com/post/697333058207154176/reviewing-the-all-elite-wrestling-personnel-2022

REMOVE

After their failure to rebrand themselves as The Dark Riders with Adam Page, The Dark Order has floundered for any relevance beyond beating The Factory over and over on AEW Dark. Had Stu Grayson and Anna Jay still remained this would be a harder sell but with Alan Angels also gone and Colt Cabana exiled from on-screen duties, the cast is down to its most pointless and fruitless members. Let me be the first to say I have all the respect in the world for a company putting on a tribute show to the untimely demise of one of their top talents who deserved better. However, with all due respect, if Jon Huber were alive today he'd of died from embaressment. The company has treated The Dark Order like a joke and never as any kind of creditable threat but when you factor in Pres10 Vance is FOURTH PLACE IN THE OVERALL WIN LOSS RATIO over Wardlow or Powerhouse Hobbs then no...I already made justifications to get rid of John Silver on his own terms. People who are happy to be there and not to be stars should go. The whole group is a farce and in shambles. The House of Black was simultaneously a better and less successful version of the whole thing. They're in shambles too. This whole group is a waste of time and effort let it end.

What a difference a year makes. AEW's biggest dissapointment. Ruby Soho deserved a chance to shine - she was being held back right? She got opportunity after opportunity and in the end fell flat. Literally falls flat - her finisher, No Future, either whiffs or has the effectiveness of an enziguri hit by a decayed sloth. Loses to the Women's Champion, loses her chance to be the first TBS Champion, and continues to be a loser where every win holds better talent back. It's embaressing to see her be so worried about what she does in the ring and her win over Kris Statlander in the Owen Hart cup cemented the tethering of patience AEW fans had waiting for her to justify beating better talent. I groan every time she shows up and now, thanks to Tay Melo, may not be showing up much at all. A tragic and cautionary tale as to why you don't hire every Ex-WWE person.

Why did Santana have to be the one injured and not this guy?! It's just not fair. Ortizitious is a condition involving the tongue being unfurled from the mouth and past the lips of the victim and then 'pants' or otherwise 'wags' the exposed muscle in front of everyone until you have the reflex to retract until the next time you are afflicted with said condition. Ruby Soho is a big sufferer of this but so are many others. Never forget Ortiz started all this. Ortiz deserves the door he's incredibly boring to watch at best and infuriating any other time.  

Under normal circumstances an injured wrestler shouldn't be cut for these reasons but with Darius the true detriment is how much he'll hold his brother back as a tag-team. He can't be trusted to wrestle in any capacity than a supporting role and yet he's not needed here either. He's no Kris Statlander or others sidelined with injuries. He's a waste of promotion. Sorry Dante but he's no good. Cut him.

The world's most boring wrestler. A poor man's Pac. No direction, no promo ability, no psychology, no fundementals, no crowd reaction, nothing but a good looking body and an average height to stake a claim on. Jonathan Gresham has everything this man has and he's been marginalised. Tony Nese teams with a guy called Josh Woods who overshadows him in every way and you could argue he's painfully average in presentation. It's ridiculous this guy still has a job. At least with jobbers like Fuego or Peter Avalon the presentation has some comedy to it. Tony Nese is just a lost cause.

Do I need a reason? Aside from what happened recently, AEW has long needed to dismantle one of the most damaging examples to modern tag-team wrestling. Everyone will say they hold FTR back, trying to turn them into the modern day Doug Furnas and Philip LaFon and, whilst true, you have to also understand they also held back Private Party's momentum and now they're jokes, The Butcher and The Blade, who aren't taken seriously, and even Best Friends or SCU or Dark Order or Jurassic Express or any tag-team. Any. Out of the 8 teams to hold this belt in 3 years only 5 still exist including The Young Bucks. It's why The Acclaimed and Swerve in our Glory has proven not only are Matt and Nick Jackson not needed but they're not missed either. They're so insecure they didn't even let Brandon Cutler come out, even as a joke, for the House of the Dragon episode in terms of who would be their 3rd partner in the trios tournament. Oh and how could anyone respect a person after losing a fight to a guy who had a torn pec? Nobody should put these guys over ever again and, as the biggest reason why AEW has problems right now, they need to be held accountable and be fired or become the jobbers they've made everyone else barring The Lucha Bros. Don't come back.

It's time to hang it up. Matt's sad tribute act was due to his brother who is a foregone conclusion in terms of also leaving. Matt has no business on TV anymore - he can be a backstage agent like Christopher Daniels. Stiff knees, dazed looks, tough as nails I'll give him this, but he's hard to look at - a shell of his former self. Why give him wins? He has less chance of being a big star than Dustin Rhodes does these days. Manage talent, be on commentary, just please stop wrestling. I'd rather see Mark Henry or Paul Wight in the ring which is to say I'd rather not them either. Retire with dignity before it's too late.  

The prophecy is incomplete but I cannot wait another year. The time has come. We got part 1 completed with him winning the tag titles with Jungle Boy. Now all he needs to do is finish it with putting Jungle Boy over and we're done with this doofus. The fact this guy nearly ended Rey Fenix's career should be enough reason to remove. Every year he almost gets the cut but I stay the execution well now his time has come.

You probably forgot she even existed. It's worrying to think at one point they were contemplating her being a serious contender for the Women's title. Did you know she beat Kris Statlander on a PPV this year? Like Red Velvet, Leyla was never destined for greatness and her complete lack of charisma or presence makes it the kind of deal I worry she'd be inserted into the BCC instead of Jamie Hayter. Get rid of this charisma vacuum and channel changer.

If MJF calls himself The Devil then Chris Jericho is Keyser Soze. The greatest trick The Magician pulled is letting everyone call him The Wizard because he sure has pulled the curtain over us all. A masterful conspiracy has played out where Jericho has resurfaced as a top talent, because he's booking his own segments, whilst latching onto every big name and fan-favourite until they're squeezed out of relevance. Everyone from Santana to Orange Cassidy to Eddie Kingston to even MJF - the list goes on and on - and not once was it to benefit them because who is still being booked at the top whilst the rest follow behind? The man with the master plan. Look at the past at who I've slated to remove - 2.0 to Jake Hager to others latched onto Jericho. Is it any wonder why Jericho has to go now? Look Chris Jericho is a good wrestler - he still can go - but this is it. He's done it all. It's all played out. He's the last of a generation where his contemporaries are either retired, dead, or passing the torch to a new generation. Hi Rey Mysterio!   Look at Sammy Guevara - the most protected person in AEW. He is always causing issues and yet nothing happens to him. Why is this? Hmm...isn't he always with Chris Jericho? What a coincidence. Is Chris Jericho bad for AEW? Let me answer with a question and you can figure out if I said yes or no - if Chris Jericho were released would it hurt AEW? Because your answer will be the same as my answer to the first question. Jericho should of been the one to hand off to a new generation - the kind of thing CM Punk spoke out - the kind of thing Dustin Rhodes wants to pass the torch over - the rub of a veteran to help those who need to be names in this business. Who has he made who didn't already get made without him or are hopeless without him? It only works one of two ways for Jericho - you are either better with him or he buries you subtly and plays out a performance worthy of WWE's favor. The weakness of those unable to call this out is why AEW has growing pains. If it turns out the entire CM Punk/Young Bucks + Kenny Omega situation was secretly orchestrated by Jericho and Moxley then it certainly validates why they're the biggest benefactors of their leaving. Remember a rule in life - whenever something bad happens look to who gains from the situation and ask yourself if it didn't happen would they have not gained more than if it had happened. This is why bad things happen.   Maybe you still don't get it. Maybe you never will. It is too late to change what Jericho is to you or to AEW. All I know is the future of AEW is not Jericho. It will be the end if he stays.

As the Byrds declared in 1967, if you want to be a rock &apos;n&apos; roll star, "Just get an electric guitar, then take some time and learn how to play." For many aspiring&#xA0;artists in the &apos;60s, the electric guitar of choice was a Rickenbacker,&#xA0;which&#xA0;the Beatles&#xA0;popularized with their&#xA0;appearance on The&#xA0;Ed Sullivan Show. John Lennon&#xA0;had a Rickenbacker slung across his&#xA0;body in 1964;&#xA0;George Harrison frequently used one on tour, too, effectively cementing the Rickenbacker as&#xA0;the&#xA0;guitar for aspiring rockers. Since then, few instruments have held such an iconic foothold in the history of rock music as the Rickenbacker guitar. It&apos;s instantly recognizable to seasoned musicians and casual fans,&#xA0;thanks to its distinct shape and&#xA0;burning Fireglo finish. The&#xA0;Rickenbacker had a fascinating history before the Beatles, as chronicled in&#xA0;the recently released book&#xA0;Rickenbacker Guitars: Out of the Frying Pan Into the Fireglo&#xA0;by Martin and Paul Kelly. (The&#xA0;pair also authored 2010&apos;s&#xA0;Fender: The Golden Age 1946-1970.)&#xA0;The evolution of the instrument, from initial design blueprints to its place on the international rock&#xA0;&apos;n&apos; roll stage, is chronicled inside the book. "Electronic music and popular culture evolved simultaneously and that&#x2019;s something that has always fascinated me &#x2014; how technology enabled musicians and how the musicians helped to drive that technology forward," Martin Kelly tells UCR. "It changed our world. Cramming 90 years of history into a 330-page book was certainly a challenge, but I&#x2019;m pleased with how it turned out." Out of the Frying Pan Into the Fireglo&#xA0;also includes&#xA0;sections devoted to&#xA0;artists who brought the sight and sound of Rickenbackers to the&#xA0;wider public, like Lennon and Harrison, but also Tom Petty, Paul Weller, Susanna Hoffs, Johnny Marr, Geddy Lee,&#xA0;Peter&#xA0;Buck and&#xA0;probably the instrument&apos;s biggest fan, Roger McGuinn. The Byrds co-founder first saw Rickenbackers&#xA0;used by the Beatles in&#xA0;A Hard Day&apos;s Night.&#xA0;He&apos;d seen the movie with&#xA0;his bandmates, all of whom became enamored with the idea of becoming bona fide rock&#xA0;&apos;n&apos; roll musicians. &#x201C;When we came out of the theater, David Crosby was swinging around a light pole like Gene Kelly in Singin&#x2019; in the Rain&#xA0;saying, &#x2018;This is what I wanna do, this is great!&#x2019;" McGuinn recalls in&#xA0;the book. At the time, Gibson and Fender were the most popular brands available; Rickenbacker was still fairly obscure, but&#xA0;Harrison&apos;s 12-string, in particular, caught McGuinn&apos;s attention. "George used it in a really cool way - he played melody lines up and down the G string. I thought that was really effective, a great sound." Watch the Beatles Perform &apos;A Hard Day&apos;s Night&apos;&#xA0; McGuinn traded a couple of other guitars for his first Rickenbacker and he was smitten from the get-go. "Tim Dixon, our first manager asked me to describe the sound of it," McGuinn tells UCR. "And I said it&apos;s like a uranium isotope in a ball of butterscotch." With McGuinn&apos;s help,&#xA0;the guitar went from a fairly obscure American brand to a coveted instrument worldwide. McGuinn frequently used his 12-string Rickenbacker on Byrds songs, lending an air of light, airy charm&#xA0;to classics like "Mr. Tambourine Man," "Eight Miles High" and "Turn! Turn! Turn!" Within a few years, it would be difficult to detach the sound of Laurel Canyon folk rock from the&#xA0;jangle of a 12-string Rickenbacker. The Beatles&apos; influence would come full circle in 1965. Harrison&apos;s Rubber Soul&#xA0;track&#xA0;"If I Needed Someone" was, as McGuinn was made aware by Beatles publicist Derek Taylor, directly inspired by the Byrds&apos; "The Bells of Rhymney." "We all lived in Laurel Canyon and [Taylor] came over to my house with this reel-to-reel tape .

.. a little three-inch reel of tape," McGuinn remembers. "And he said &apos;George wants you to know that he wrote this song based on your lick in &apos;Bells of Rhymney.&apos;&apos; ... I couldn&apos;t believe it. It was such an honor." Listen to the Byrds&apos; &apos;The Bells of Rhymney&apos; Years later, the pair would spend time together at Harrison&apos;s Friar Park estate, where Harrison brought out the same Rickenbacker he used on&#xA0;A Hard Day&apos;s Night. In a lot of ways, Kelly says, the visibility of the Rickenbacker &#x2013; on TV or famous album covers, like Petty&apos;s&#xA0;Damn the Torpedoes&#xA0;&#x2014; is a&#xA0;huge reason the instrument has stuck around. "Player association has been a huge part of Rickenbacker&apos;s success and longevity. When it comes to rock &#x2019;n&#x2019; roll and pop culture, image is everything," he&#xA0;says, noting that after the Beatles&apos; appearance on&#xA0;The Ed Sullivan Show, Rickenbacker CEO F.C. Hall was savvy enough to travel to New York to meet the band and supply them with more instruments. "[McGuinn]&#xA0;was the first American player to really put Rickenbacker on the map, and his endorsement lead to Mike Campbell and Tom Petty choosing Ricks," Kelly&#xA0;says. "The baton still gets passed on from the likes of Radiohead to younger players like Laura Jane Grace from Against Me!" source

21. “First one to make a noise loses.”

62. “I think that’s the first time i’ve heard you moan…it was like a fucking melody.”

notes; actor!scoups, actress!reader, cocky!scoups, dirty talk, degradation, rivals/enemies!au, cockwarming, lots of banter hehehe~ HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!! ✨💕❤️‍🔥🌸💐 I forgot to post my updated schedule so that’s gonna go up tomorrow instead kjdkjs sorry 😭 I always get busy when I least expect it and that’s been so often lately lol… ☠️ bUT ANYWAY who else to write about except the biggest dick man himself mr seungcheol for valentines day heh~ 🥳😗 Thank you so much for requesting, as always! Enjoy! 💕 

*queued post.

“There is not a kissing scene in this.”

“There is. Four of them to be precise.” Seungcheol grins.

You grit your teeth - eyes on your manager and Seungcheol’s as they both gulp.

“And the two of you agreed?” They nod shakily - both Seungkwan and Seokmin sharing a quick, nervous glance before they both open their mouths at the same time.

“We t-thought it’d be good for your careers!” They reply at the same time.

Seungcheol laughs, head thrown back against the sofa as you brood alone.

You had tons of kissing scenes in movies and tv shows, but none of them ever included Seungcheol; someone who you considered your rival in the industry.

He was good at what he did and so were you - which is why you sometimes found yourself losing gigs and deals to him when the production staff would pick him over you. But it was a two way street and Seungcheol would sometimes also find himself in the same position when you’d get selected instead of him.

“I–we, um, y’know, because the two of you are–are really up on top of it right now,” Seungkwan starts, “The two of you are booked and busy and–and really, just, y’know, it would just benefit the two of you so much!”

Seokmin nods feverishly as he agrees, “The biggest fan bases and the best reception from the media, it’d be a hit just having the two of you in the same show!”

You grit your teeth again - they were right even if you hated to admit it.

“Can you give us some time to discuss this? Alone.” Sighing, you run a hand through your hair as Seungcheol nods.

“How about you get us some lunch, Seungkwan? Put it on my card. It’s the least I can do for the ‘lil princess here~”

The two get up before they hear anything else; both of them just glad to be out of the room before the two of you potentially start arguing.

And once the door clicks shut, it’s only a matter of seconds before you’re climbing into Seungcheol’s lap - hands at the collar of his shirt as he grins up at your flustered face.

“Ah, well, we should get to discussing then, huh?”

“We’re supposed to only have a kissing scene, yet look at you~”

Your jaw clenches as you sit atop Seungcheol’s lap - his cock already sheathed inside your warmth as you sit and cockwarm him. “You can pretend to hate me all you want, but every time I’ve fucked you, it’s always the best fuck you ever get, isn’t it?”

��S–shut up, asshole…”

You bite down on your bottom lip, holding in your noises but you can’t help but let out a small, airy moan when the head of his cock nudges your sweet spot when you shift slightly.

“Oh? I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you moan… It was like a fucking melody~ You’re always too fuckin’ busy complaining or keeping in those noises, baby~ Let them out, I wanna hear how cute you sound when you’re getting my cock.”

“F–fuck you, I–I rather go f-fuck your manager…”

The shit-eating grin on Seungcheol’s face leaves and is replaced with a scowl; his grip on your waist tightening as he slowly readjusts and jostles you slightly.

“Oh? You think Seungkwan can fuck you this good, huh? He’s too soft, baby. We both know how rough you like it~ You like it when I treat you like my ‘lil fucktoy, don’t you? You’ll never beg but I know just how you like being under me~”

He uses his strength to lift your body up slightly - guiding you and thrusting up into you while simultaneously tugging you down towards himself.

“Fuh–fuck…!”

The head of his cock slams into your g-spot with each thrust and you can’t help but bite down harder onto your bottom lip as Seungcheol laughs.

“Awww, you’re so cute. You really don’t wanna give in, do you? You’re always the same~ You should switch it up, baby~ How else are you gonna grow in your career, hmm?”

The slight dig at your career makes you growl - walls clamping down onto Seungcheol’s cock hard as he grits his teeth.

“Much like how you had to do a lot of growing, yourself, huh, ‘Cheol? You would know~” You lick your lips, head thrown back as he tugs you down and halts his movements. 

“I’d watch my tongue if I were–”

KNOCK KNOCK

“Seungcheol, I got lunch! Are you guys okay?” 

Seungkwan’s voice is muffled through the door; the doorknob rattling before Seokmin’s voice joins in. “You guys a-aren’t arguing, right?” 

You peer down at Seungcheol - the lust in your eyes just as obvious as Seungcheol’s as he licks his lips and smirks up at you.

“We’re fine. Just discussing some of the scenes before we agree to it. It’ll be, like, 15 more minutes? Can you leave the food in the other room and we’ll be there soon?” 

“Okay! Don’t take too long!”

You hear their footsteps getting quieter and quieter and you let out a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding.

“And? Now what? You think you can get me to cum in that short of time? I’ll probably have to finish the job myself, to be honest.” You retort - already trying to pry his hands off of your waist to get dressed instead of finishing.

“Who says I can’t?”

He lifts your body once again; slamming you down onto his cock as you let out a surprised mewl.

“I would’ve said, ‘first one to make a noise, loses.’ but, ah, with the way I’m about to fuck you I already know it’s going to be you, baby~ So why don’t you start making up an excuse to our managers for the screams they’re about to hear, hmm?” 

Seungcheol watches as your lips form an ‘o’ shape - eyebrows furrowed with the way his cock fills you up perfectly. 

“You’re such a talented actress after all, aren’t you? You should be able to make something up~” He quips.

“Fuh–fuck you, Seungcheol...!”

SWEET TOOTH | J.P

SUMMARY ➠ ice cream man!james fucks you in his ice cream truck

WARNINGS ➠ fingering, dirty talk, semi-public sex, praise kink, humiliation (?), pet names, bit of a breeding kink, not proofread

WORD COUNT ➠ 2.0k

A/N ➠ the long awaited ice cream man james smut ;) oh and this is for @hellounicorn <33

———

you were in that stage between dreams and reality when you heard it.

the small tune that you memorized since you started living in this neighbourhood— he always passed by in summer; and god, were you craving something cold and tasty to munch on when it was a thousand degrees outside.

you hummed in content as you lifted yourself from your bed, stretching your lips and rummaging through your closet in an attempt to find a comfortable and decent attire to meet james; as weird as it sounded, you wanted to impress the ice cream man and it was safe to say that you had developed a small crush— james had always been so nice to you, going as far as giving you free popsicles in exchange for a brief conversation.

the tip of your nerves went on fire as you stepped outside; spotting him buckling his belt. he was wearing a tight fit white shirt that had you drooling and shuddering.

——

“there you go, kiddo” chuckled james after delivering a chocolate ice cream to the last kid of the big crowd that had formed earlier.

he sighed in disappointment when he realized that you still hadn’t come out yet— he had purposely parked the van a few feet from your house, just so you could maybe pop by and have a nice chat with him.

truth is that james missed you. he hadn’t seen you since last summer and it had already been a shitty weather day, he knew you would be the only one to lift his mood up with that bright smile of yours.

james went back to the driver’s seat and as he finished buckling himself up he heard a small scream of his name upfront.

holy fuck— thought james.

you were wearing a small cute sundress that accentuated your figure in the best way possible, and when he let his eyes travel down to your chest, he caught a glimpse of your peebled nipples. leading him to get into the conclusion that you might only be wearing panties underneath that dress. his cock ached at the thought.

he stepped on the pedal lightly and drove closer to you, until the truck was right in line with your home.

“hi there, sweetheart!” he greeted, unbuckling his seatbelt and going into the back— where he was met with your face through the open window.

“hello james” you giggled “long time, no see, huh?”

“damn right you are, honey— i was starting to wonder if you moved out, what took you so long?” he spoke in a querying tone.

the tip of your ears and nose grew hot as you remembered struggling to find something cute for him. “oh— uhm, i was just— looking for my shoes you know?” you awkwardly chuckled, staring down at the five dollar bill in your hand as if it was the most interesting thing in the planet.

he gave you a bit of an amused look before shaking his head “whatever you say, pretty girl” your tummy fluttered as the nickname dripped from his lips like sweet honey.

“what would you like today, hm?”

“oh just— something sweet and creamy, like an ice cream popsicle” you shrugged, not noticing the effect your words had on james.

“i know something of yours that is sweet and creamy” he murmured under his breath. “what was that?” “oh, no nothing” he gave you a tight lipped smile, his cheeks dusting pink.

“right well uhm, the ice cream”

“oh shoot yeah— what uh” he paused to clear his throat “what flavor where you thinking of, petal?” and his sweet flirty persona was back on, as if the thought of having a face full of your pussy wasn’t replaying on his head over and over again.

“i don’t know” you groaned, almost embarrassed at your sudden indecisiveness.

“you can come in you know? take a look at the flavors and see which one catches your attention more” he offered, sparing you a small smile.

“won’t you get in trouble for that?” you cocked your head to the side. “i don’t mind” he shrugged, the corners of his lips still quirked up as he opened up the back door for you; already holding both of his hands out to help you climb in.

what a gentleman, you thought.

“there we go, honey. take your time.” spoke james as he patted your waist twice, sending a buzz of excitement all throughout your body that almost made you shudder on the spot.

the variety of flavours seemed so appetizing you started wishing you would’ve brought your whole wallet to buy all of them at once, but a peach flavoured ice cream would do.

as you went to give james the money he only chuckled and said “you know i wouldn’t charge a pretty little thing like you, your presence is enough” before handing you the sweet and throwing you a wink as he rested his back on the frame of the window.

the way his muscles flexed as he crossed them over his chest had you questioning whether you should’ve asked for his cock instead of a fucking popsicle—

and god… that damn shirt had your core clenching around air as your mind wandered about him fucking you in every position possible, he just looked so elegantly inviting.

“you done staring, sweetheart?”

shit. you didn’t even realize.

“oh my god, i am so sorry, i should probably leave” you nervously laughed, heading towards the back doors, only to have a large hand around your abdomen stop you.

holy fuck. james potter’s body was pressed against yours and you almost let out a moan as his breath fanned over the side of your petrified face.

“you can’t just leave me all alone in here, sweetie” his hand traveled lower down your mid drift. by now, your stupid peach flavored popsicle was long gone somewhere on the floor, melting. almost as much as you were against james’ hefty chest.

you swallowed thickly, blinking a few times to collect yourself as you turned your head to the side, it was hot breath against hot breath now; if only one of you made the first move—

“oh fuck this” he growled, disconnecting his palm from your pelvis and instead linking it with your jaw to have more access against your lightly chapped lips.

the lip-lock was vulgar and enticing since the start, both of you feeling the luscious sparks that it sent to your sex.

“i’ve been way too fucking patient” you heard him mumble as he took your lower lip in between his teeth, coaxing a whine as you felt your core drip with arousal. “bet you think about me when that pretty cunt is begging for relief, huh?”

“yes jamie, i do. i fucking do” you heaved, impassionedly grinding your bum against his bulging crotch. “i’m gonna fuck you nice and long today, baby. until all you can do is beg for more”

his words went straight to your sopping cunt as he waddled you forward, his mouth still on yours, to the window.

his lips detached from yours. “there we go baby, stay nice and loud for me, yeah? want the whole fucking neighbourhood to know who’s stuffing you full.”

your fingers gripped the edge of the window tightly as james nipped at your neck, his left hand bunching up your dress while the right one’s simultaneously prodded at your swollen button. “you came all bare for me, honey? bet you wanted me to fuck you good once and for all” he groaned, not giving you a warning as he slipped two fingers at once, leaving you a gasping mess as your knuckles turned white from holding on to the frame of the aperture you were leaned on.

“james!” you cried out quietly, rocking your hips back onto his fingers as the ones from his free hand made a path to your throat, lightly squeezing the sides.

his digits made wonders to your contracting insides, juices already making a sticky mess on your thighs as he curled them upwards, caressing your g-spot in a mouth-watering manner; the pad of his thumb made way to your clit, soothing it in tight figure eights as your legs shook, pulling small wails after wails from you.

feeling the thrill of the enticing orgasm building up, you brought one of your hands back to tangle itself on the male’s dark curls, only to have him tut at you as he removed his drenched fingers.

“wha— no! please!” you shamelessly begged, not giving a shit about anything else besides the ache on your heat.

james did nothing besides giving you a wicked grin as he let go of your neck, now focusing on lowering down his trousers— which quickly had you shutting up as you stared in fascination.

he was definitely the biggest you have had so far. a nice length with a thickness that would make a barbarous stretch feel so fucking delirious.

“i’m not sure if i can fit in that tiny hole of yours, precious. maybe i should just leave you like this” he fake pouted, a hint of amusement lacing his features as your bottom lip trembled at the thought of not having him inside you in the next fifteen seconds or so. “no! it’ll fit! make it fit” you mewled, rubbing your pooling cunt against his grith.

“so impatient” he chuckled, stabilizing your hips with his hands before forcing himself into you in one single unforgiving push, making you let out a small scream as your eyes shut tight.

james gave you a few moments for you to get comfortable before you rocked your hips backwards into his as a sign of consent. his hand travelled upwards to grope at your breasts as he thrusted deeply.

“my god, you feel like absolute heaven” he grunted, and even though you couldn’t hear him, the strain in his voice gave away that he was probably with his head thrown back, abs clenching and biceps flexed as his chest heaved, a sight for sore eyes truly.

your mouth stayed agape as his tip kissed your g-spot. your vision clouded with small black stars that had you genuinely question whether they were really painted in your house or not.

james started with a brutal speed since the start, the smacking of your skin against his was filthy and loud, you could only hope mr. benson wouldn’t go for a walk today.

the van rocked and lightly squeaked with every thrust of james’ and you tried your best to contain every loud moan and cry that might alarm the whole block. james had other plans though. “say my name baby, don’t hold back, i want to have your pretty moans fucking memorized”

you complied, throwing your last fucks out of the window and chanting his name like a prayer as your eyes rolled to the back of your head, his strong arms moving to hold you up by the bending of your elbows, causing your spine to arch in a perfect C as james continuously grunted in your ear.

“you’re gonna be absolutely cockdrunk after i’m done with you, honey” he groaned, speeding up the push of his hips and biting down on your shoulder as he brought you both closer to the edge.

“james! i’m gonna cum so hard, don’t stop please, don’t fucking stop” you sobbed, moaning uncontrollably as the coil in your stomach unravelled without any form of forewarning.

“there we go, cream my cock so nicely baby” whispered james, still fucking your quivering pussy through the orgasm with an aggressive pace. “oh fuck, this tight cunt is gonna milk me dry, yeah?”

you could only answer him with a whimper as your legs almost gave out on you if it wasn’t for him holding you up, a few more sloppy thrusts and he was spraying your fluttering walls with his cum, whines escaping his lips.

a breathy moan passed through your mouth as he pulled out, his load slowly flowing out of your puffy folds.

“you look so hot when you’re stuffed full of my cum, sweetheart.” rasped james, peppering your cheeks with soft kisses.

———

i’m tagging the people who clicked “all” in my taglist, dm me if you wish to be removed.

🏷: @selenesheart @siriusblackwifeeey @alohastitch0626 @remuslupinswhore @caosfanblr @memorycharm @abbott27 @elizabethrosedarling @samaraaaaa @malfoyspov @ildm4ev @kieracass4lyfers @acciodignity @methblinds @adrianscumslut @wh0re4blaise @dracomalfoys-wh0re @dlmmdl @lolooo22 @darlingmalfoy @littlemissnoname13 @riddleswh0rekrux @lostaurorax @alexavolturisblog @marauderswh0re1 @black-rose-29 @emma67 @mypainistemporary @mauvea @teenwolfbitches28 @lissa-duh @paniicing @alohastitch0626 @caosfanblr @memorycharm @youreso-golden @malfoyspov

[check your privacy settings if i wasn’t able to tag you ]

Zhongli, Kaeya, and Thoma (and if you could, maybe Ayato?) with an s/o who is an insomniac and also a light sleeper please :3

✎ Restless | Genshin Impact

↠ Zhongli, Kaeya, Thoma, Ayato × Reader

↠ Comfort + Fluff | Scenarios

↠ Before You Read:

heyooooo! character speculation in ayato's part, considering how we dont know much about him.

anyway, on the other hand, i learned that there are different types of insomnia :0 so i'll do my best to incorporate all of them.

↠ Rules for Requesting | Masterlist

• zhongli makes you tea. it has a lot of good health properties, but most importantly, it will help you sleep is what he says.

sometimes, or a lot of the time, sleep isn't his biggest fan either, so he takes you to sit outside the balcony to watch the stars or the sunrise. mostly in silence, but on particularly bad or harder days, he hums, sings or starts to dance you around in the darkness to calm you down. maybe even run his hands up and down sore spots on your body to lightly press on them.

plus, he makes sure to take away and and all distractions from you so that you could have a chance at maybe falling asleep and lasting throughout the night.

it becomes second nature to him to hum your favorite song, or the lullaby he heard a long time ago, whenever the sun sets and you're laying in his arms and absentmindedly tracing patterns up and down your arm and when your breathing relaxes, he asks if you're still awake, just in case.

he's also very still when he sleeps and the only time he would ever accidentally wake you up is because a part of his dragon self just decided to pop by for a visit and bless curse him a fraction of the loudest snore known to man.

• kaeya is half pleasantly surprised and half concerned when he comes home after work and you're nowhere near asleep. or as soon as he crawls into bed with you, you're staring at him and asking him how his day was even though he was positively sure that you were snoring away softly when he got back.

he asks you every night how he can be able to help you.

in the morning, when you get up in a particularly horrible mood, it confused him a little, until he realizes that it was because of how badly you had slept the night before. he would then slip away from the knights' headquarters during his morning breaks to take naps with you, if you sleep easier in the morning or to help you relax with a walk around town, a meal, or just cuddling on the sofa.

• thoma / tohma, no matter how many times he's done it, will always be excited to fall asleep next to you and when he finds out that sleep doesn't come easy to you, he will make it a point to try to tire your mind with his endless stories of this and that.

as the night drifts by, the stories become more and more strange and his words slur together, but no amount of you reassuring him that it's alright for him to sleep will convince him to because he shakes his head, slaps his cheeks with his hands simultaneously, and will muster up more things to talk to you about until one - or both of you - fall asleep.

tohma moves a lot in his sleep, so the squirming tends to rattle you awake, but no matter. because he wakes up from the sound of you standing up to go try to do something to put you back to sleep and will gladly accompany you to the garden to walk around.

• ayato tends to still be awake with you most of the nights that your mind and body can't seem to allow you to sleep. the only difference between you both would be that you laid in bed, waiting for him, while he sat at his desk in the room right across yours scribbling away at papers, maps and files.

the instances where you would fall asleep before him were very rare, and as much as he wants to watch you calm and relaxed, the door to your room - that for whatever reason - creaks when it opens awakens you before that happens and you're as awake as you were earlier that night. or morning. he considers his best days as the days that he catches you clinging on to his pillow and curled up in a strange position with your eyes shut and lips parted slightly, he teases you about drooling onto his pillow.

ayato will try his best to lull you back to sleep first, but the weight of his responsibilities have him knocked out as soon as his head hits the pillow and your hands card through his hair. before he goes down for the count though, he will stroke your cheek with his thumb, asking you about your day and if he should ask ayaka to take over the business tomorrow so you both can sleep in.