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#what a good way to avoid spoilers
yazzydream · 8 months
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Shibuya Incident Arc Key Visual HD
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buckleydiazmp4 · 9 months
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no but the thing is. they KISSED. on screen. it was a real scene, not deleted, not removed from a script, it HAPPENED in front of the world's eyes. and AND the actors are normal about it and the whole cast and crew is normal about it and it's not vague and it's IMPORTANT. no matter the rest of it and what came after it, it happened!!
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izzymalec · 9 months
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the office 2005–2013
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teaspoonofdragons · 21 days
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Come on guys.
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miss0atae · 3 months
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Random thoughts about Pit Babe the series ep 10:
I was really waiting for this episode and I knew it would be filled with sadness and sorrow.
▪️Babe had a fight with Charlie before the race because his boyfriend was concerned about him. Babe thought Charlie didn't trust him and said some hard words to him. He was angry at him and it was their last conversation before the accident. Obviously, Babe was heartbroken. No one would want an argument to be the last conversation you have with anyone, even more when it is your lover. Babe really suffered in this episode. I said it before but I think Pavel really knows how to cry. He is a pretty crier. You do believe in his sadness and terrible loss just by looking at him. Of course, the sorrow was followed by anger and a will to get revenge. I feel sad for Babe because he lost his best friend, his father abandoned him, Tony took advantage of him and he had to lose the only person he ever loved and felt safe with. It was hard to watch him be utterly distraught.
▪️In the middle of all this drama, Jeff made a move on Alan because he has to wait until he decides to do it, he would have to wait an eternity. That kiss on the cheek was cute but I was expecting more! Alan is supposed to be in his thirties but he flirts like he is a pre-schooler. Jeff must really like him because I would have given up. He has been flirting a lot and Alan always seems to have this surprised Pikachu face when he finally understands what is going on. I wish they made their romance start earlier because we still have to wait until next week to get a proper kiss. At least, they are living in the same place. Proximity is the key to making the romance bloom.
▪️Kim finally was out of Tony's clutches. I hope it is because Kenta helped him get to Jeff but we never got confirmation. To be honest, I was surprised when Jeff brought him to Alan's house to protect him. It felt like they made some cuts in the episode and the rescue of Kim wasn't brought smoothly enough into the story. I don't know...
▪️Tony was again very abusing towards Kenta. It is getting harder and harder to see. This kind of constant abuse must be really hard to deal mentally. I wish we got more backstory or explanation about Kenta. I feel bad for him.
▪️Way was trying to drink his sorrow at the bar and was used as an emotional punching ball by Babe, when he tried to act on his revenge plan to get to Tony through the only person he knew worked with him. Way denied any involvement in Charlie's accident. I didn't think we would see him that soon after what he did to Babe. I don't know how they will bring him again into the plot. Will he try to redeem himself by helping the X-Hunter fam when they go after Tony?
▪️Finally, we had confirmation that Dean was working against X-Hunter. He was sus since last episode. He may not be entirely responsible for Charlie's death but what he did was really shitty. He has an ego, he is pretty jealous and can't accept that he may not be as good as he thinks he is. Also, he did try to hurt Babe and was giving some stupid excuses for his behaviors. If you wanted to be outside you could just get out and find another team. Why are you trying to sabotage your previous team just because they never gave you what you wanted?! He was whining and it was annoying to hear because we never saw him try to do anything except complaining.
▪️Of course, we all know that Charlie is not really dead. The trailer gave us the clue, so it's not exactly something ground breaking. It was part of his plan, he talked about with Jeff in the last episode. Now, Babe has his power back and will collaborate with Pete to bring down Tony. Charlie will probably just save Babe's life again because he only thinks about protecting his lover.
Anyway, I still like this series and will be ready for episode 11, next Friday. Let's hope it won't have the curse of episode 11 because Babe has already suffered enough.
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just1gnome · 7 months
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"that sounds tediously boring"
gnome beat the game
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here they are on the boat
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polyamoryprincess · 5 months
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I know people are upset about Izzy being killed (I am too) but the truth is I don’t think it was bad writing or even them diminishing Izzy’s character, I actually think everything about the last episode has to do with production and I think Izzy lovers will feel a little better about it if they see it like that (it helped for me).
Basically, if you look at it like this, I think 2 important things came into play. Budget and how the showrunners assumed this would play out. Which is to say that they probably assume HBO will either renew them for season 3 and cut their budget again or they’re going to be cancelled.
Both are very likely, so assuming they had this in mind, removing Con, who I’d guess is the 3rd highest paycheck after Taika and Rhys was probably their best budgeting move, especially if they’re thinking of having an all out war in the final season that they probably want to be a visual spectacle, so each season feels like it’s getting consistently larger in scope.
On the other hand, if they do get cancelled (which they probably will because the HBO CEO is a weird little conservative goon), they left the ending in a way that could be considered an ENDING while still being prepped for a 3rd season. So in the time they had left (which was 2 episodes less than their first season) they gave Izzy an entire completed character arc.
I 100% understand the sadness and anger, especially after all the shit he went through during the beginning of the season, I felt gut punched when I learned he died and was bitter as hell through my whole first viewing of the season even though I’d had more than a month to process it. But after having thought it through, I genuinely don’t think it’s simply them treating Izzy as just an extension of Ed’s character growth and I sure as shit don’t think it’s because they wanted to conform to Izzy haters.
I think if they had all of the resources and episodes they wanted, had a guaranteed season 3, I think we would have gotten the character growth we got with better pacing and he probably would have at minimum made it to season 3 (I also think he would have had a love interest, but that’s just what I wanted for him tbh).
I think they did the best they could with what they had, allocated a lot of budget and screen time towards his character despite having less of those 2 things than the first season, and at least let Izzy have a completed story and arc, even if the ending was deeply disappointing.
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the school arc to me is so good because it drags ciel out of his position as a powerful figure and literally places him in the shoes of the person he could have been. the circus arc ALSO drags him out of his position as big bad queens watch dog/head of the phantomhive estate but the school arc feels like a mockery of a future that never was. this is what he could have been had his parents not died. and even then its NOT because he will never be that kid.
he never was.
#ramblings#incoherent beyond belief its 4 am#and im trying to avoid manga spoilers#might add a reblog with more coherent thoughts when i wake up but im off my meds so i cant promise anything#actually correction im being vague w the manga spoilers#manga readers know whats up#idk if there are any anime only ppl who havent been spoiled on The Plottwist Ever yet#but i figured there will be new fans and though im not tagging this it might still get seen so#cant WAIT to see our boy absolutely miserable in animation form should they recreate that arc LMAOOO#which ofc is after the germany arc so thats still a long time away#but STILL. itd be fun i need to see this young teenager lose his mind in color with sound#him relying on sebastian to do all his fag duties (sorry. dredge) so he can work his way up the social ladder#trying to gain power while simultaneously proving that he cant do anything but rely on others#hes always needed help in basically every way and he hasnt CHANGED he just got a demon to do it for him#he learns to lie and charm and cheat and all the while hes a fucking CHILD WHO STILL STRUGGLES WITH NORMAL THINGS#ciel is my little baby and i love him deeply no matter how much of a little bitch he can be#his helplessness isnt just 'oh he was raised in british high society' its also that he never got the chance to learn anything#which to elaborate on that id also have to go into manga territory. iykyk#like absolutely at this point he just refuses to learn how to do things he has a pet demon to do it for him#but.#hi the phantomhives backstory is killing me again its so late#both atlantic and the school arc are just setup for the Big Arc but theyre very good in their own right i SWEAR#also when i rewatched the circus arc a while back and i realised how some scenes were shot#the heavy foreshadowing that i didnt realise. yk. 7 years ago or however long its been since i first watched it#CRAZY#if you are new. to kuroshitsuji. and you havent read the manga. dear god. read the manga#ALSO GRELLE IN THAT ARC IS SO BEAUTIFUL & OTHELLO IS TRANSMASCULINE. OKAY GOODBYE
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captainswan618 · 8 months
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anyway what if. what if i watched much ado about nothing with david tennant and catherine tate again.
yes i only watched it for the first time like two weeks ago what's your point
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ajdrawshq · 5 months
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using second person pov despite sif very distinctly being their own person really helps the player feel more immersed in the story, characters, and sif's thought process. But Watch Out
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o-wild-west-wind · 7 months
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A Biracial Reading of OFMD, ft. Iggy’s Revenge Izcourse
a.k.a. I typed out a sentence that turned into an accidental essay of meta, whoops!
Y’all…I love this fandom to pieces, but I don’t think some of you realize why not all of us love Izzy/may be critiquing him. And major disclaimer—I am in NO WAY telling anyone to stop enjoying him as a character. This is NOT an anti-Izzy post (I will go into more detail on why I in fact encourage you to keep doing so later, and to the people who are sending unsolicited hate mail to Izzy fans & haters alike: please don’t!)—I’m just tired of seeing vitriolic hate against the people writing about him as an antagonist, or critiquing his actions based on canon, or post after post of “why don’t people love Izzy like I do!!” and then aggression when people explain their honest opinions. Look: we all have our skrungly little bad guys. I get it!! I’ve got my own collection!! I too have become a consumer and enjoyer of the Izzy fanon!!! PLEASE don’t take this as an attack—I just want to provide some personal, potentially fresh context from at least one (obviously non-exhaustive) perspective for those who want to know why Izzy isn’t universally adored, and also to make a plea for a safer fandom space where we can talk about our perspectives on these fictional characters without escalating to unnecessary vitriol, especially as s2 be upon ye (bc holy shit fandom is supposed to be fun, we’re having fun and that’s an order 😤)
(Oh, and I know I’m potentially stirring the pot with this post, but this should go without saying: don’t send each other death threats. What the fuck. Nobody do this?!)
So now that the legalize is out of the way: I want to share that the reason I initially imprinted on this show—and on Ed specifically—was because I’d never seen an explicitly biracial character treated with such complexity, nuance, and grace. While our ethnic makeups are vastly different, I too am half-white & half-brown—which means we’re absolutely nothing culturally alike, but our worlds view and treat us as pretty much the same regardless. And like Ed, my dad resents my mom and my racial makeup, and is prone to what I like to call “white violence.” Not going to overshare on the internet, but let’s just say that all this compounded makes Ed feel highly relatable to me (although for legal purposes I promise I have not krakened my dad 🙃).
When I first watched the show (and honestly also until my 3rd or 4th rewatch), Izzy IMMEDIATELY made me think of my dad. He also immediately made me think of Ed’s dad. Their mannerisms, word choices, and tones of voice; the obsessive need for control; the default of violence; the gradual dehumanization until an ultimate kraken-ifying breaking point—it all read to me like an intentional parallel. A shadow of white violence following Ed around that he hasn’t been able to shake, and mirroring to him the things he fears the most, including the things he fears within himself and feels forced to become (he is half-white after all, and this is a whole other post, but tl;dr there can be a lot of baggage that comes with being half-white/half-poc in regards to grappling with your toxic relationship to that white side of yourself, and especially if your white parent was racist and/or violent). And you can claim a different reading of all of this if you want (I genuinely mean that, like I’m in favor of meta & I think it’s great to analyze these things) BUT. that does not change the fact that I felt what I felt as a result of what was portrayed on screen and combined with my lived experience. Because fictional characters are just that—fictional—and are vessels by which you can process the world; we will always bring our personal lived experiences to anything we consume, and that’s okay—that can be the point, even. Art imitates life imitates art. Interpretation is the name of the game!
(more under the cut)
So when I watch this show, it’s a helpful tool for me to process my own feelings of being victimized by the white violence that’s followed me around my whole life, as well as the ways in which I’ve rebelled against it/tried to make peace with a non-toxic version of whiteness (in parallel to the more overt theme of masculinity, which is—ding ding—inexplicably tied to whiteness and western colonialism) via chaos, love, hurt, and sometimes giving up and giving in—and in this process, Izzy is a safe target. And you know why that is? Because he’s FICTIONAL. I can feel rage towards him because he’s NOT REAL. I can better understand and process the pain I’ve felt and rarely seen societally acknowledged by watching it paralleled on screen via actors and writers who have likely also grappled with similar feelings (I mean, I genuinely have made more progress with my personal biracial trauma via this show vs. years of therapy), and if I want to assume the worst of Izzy based on my interpretation of canon to help me through this? That’s fine! Because I can’t hurt his feelings and he can’t hurt mine!! Because he’s not real!!!
And here’s why I still support the Izzy-enjoyment: I am sure that many of the people who love Izzy and defend him to the ends of the earth probably feel a similar way that I do about Ed. It’s why we get all riled up and protective of these characters, why we might take attacks on them as attacks on ourselves; recognition of the self in the form of the other, and all that. Izzy is a vessel by which to safely work through the dark feelings and the pain you’ve bottled up—and he’s a safe way to do that because he’s FICTIONAL. And that’s a beautiful thing imo!! That’s truly the beauty of art—it is what we make of it, and what we make of it helps make ourselves better. It’s good to be open to interpretation.
HOWEVER: that does not give you permission to discount my relationship to this show (as I will not discount yours), and more importantly: that does NOT give you permission to reject the notion that canonically in s1, Izzy is literally and thematically (emphasis on thematically) an antagonist who is purposefully written to cause harm that can be interpreted as a hate crime, especially to those with lived experience of homophobia/racism/ableism/bullying/etc.—and you cannot harass people about this when conversing about theories of canon. If someone sees Izzy’s dialogue as cutting, degrading, and even triggering, that’s extremely fair of them to do so—clearly Ed was written to feel it that way! Con himself has paralleled Izzy with Judas! And can interpret it all differently? Sure! But you CANNOT assume that everyone else will, and then get upset when people don’t. I can’t believe I need to spell this out about an angry white guy in a show about toxic masculinity, but if someone does not like Izzy, it is likely due to a personal history of harassment (or worse) that he is reminiscent of; by making a point to defend him to someone—even if you are well-intentioned—you are very much putting salt in a wound.
I want to take this opportunity to further emphasize some tenets of fandom in general:
you can like characters who do horrible things without needing to jump hoops to argue their morals as pure 👏
conversely, you can critique their actions and still like them (encouraged, even) 👏
you can like characters who do horrible things simply because they’re cool and hot and interesting—don’t worry, we know it’s not the same as liking people like them irl 👏
your liking a villain archetype says nothing about your own moral virtue 👏
you can like horrible characters and see reasons for why they are the way they are/view them as tragic/note sympathetic dimensions of their personality/root for them to have redemption arcs while acknowledging that said redemption arc may not have happened in canon yet and that these are implicit, not explicit, readings of canon 👏
and you can also reimagine canon and change their contexts in fan works so that they ARE morally virtuous 👏 but PLEASE just be mindful and accountable when you do this in a context where not everyone will see a character the same way as you, and where multiple of people of marginalized identities have spoken out about the harm not doing so can cause. Just be honest, sincere, and kind, listen and learn, and don’t harass people for understandably needing space from a character that symbolizes something different to them than it does to you.
Also: blocking tags or people just because they have character opinions different than yours is totally okay and does not mean anything other than “I am curating my online space to have a better time,” it’s NOT personal
And most importantly: FANDOM IS FOR FUN! This isn’t our day job! We come to fandom to decompress. Don’t ruin people’s safe spaces!!!
Like I said, I’ve grown to enjoy Izzy over time thanks to fandom and fanon, and I think it’s fantastic that fandom can have such diversity in the way it interprets canon. I can’t wait for his probable redemption arc (it will likely be a healing thing to witness for many of us) and I’m truly glad that we can all have different relationships to the same characters. But please—when some of us need Izzy to be a punching bag, just let him be a punching bag. No, it’s not homophobic and DEFINTELY not misogynistic to view him as an obstacle in Ed and Stede’s relationship (baffled by the amount of times I’ve seen this take—it’s a funny joke but if you actually think Izzy is treated the way female characters related to other mlm ships have been treated, the point is very much going whoosh). You don’t have to engage; it’s not personal. It’s not about YOUR relationship with him—it’s about MINE. Please let me feel and even discuss rage towards him when I think about episode 10. Please let me throw as many sandwiches at his head as I need to. Because I PROMISE, it won’t hurt him—because he, and none of these characters, are real; and yet we, the fans, very much are.
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right. so. i'm taking the angel and i'm wrapping him in a soft blanket and i'm telling him that NO ONE has the right to touch him without his consent.
no matter how well they know each other and got along previously.
or how angsty the person feels about possibly never seeing him again.
or how much Aziraphale might even possibly WANT to be intimate with that person on some level, someday, when they're okay again.
there are no ways around this:
if he's not READY for it, or if he's not in the MOOD for a kiss, then NO ONE SHOULD BE KISSING HIM. PERIOD.
#pretty sure this is not a controversial statement but the things i've seen some folks say today has been. um.#disheartening to say the least and alarming at worst.#please fucking tell me i'm not the only one who knows assault when they see it even if they find both characters attractive.#like. holy fuck. i love(d) crowley too but what the fuck.#how is THIS being overlooked while Aziraphale is taking all the blame for how shit went down in the finale.#~ooh they finally kissed!!!!!~ ugh but STUPID ANGLE!!! >:( doesn't he know how sexy and emotional crowley is??? he should ENJOY this!!!!#<- some of y'all's apparent attitude and it Concerns me deeply.#call it what it fucking is even if it sucks. it was a violation. period. it's 2023 we don't tolerate Blurred Lines bullshit here.#goddamnit this was my safe fandom and now i'm like. y'all scare me tbh.#i hate fandom drama but the way the majority have elected to ignore a literal assault so they can UWU Sad Demon Puppy their blorbo is just.#what is this? spn???#he was my blorbo too but holy fuck i have lines. i have boundaries. and he crossed them when he crossed Aziraphale's.#if u think u know who this is no u don't#i am conflict avoidant leaf me alone lol#i just need to know that i'm not the only person here who um. respects boundaries and consent and all that. because y'all got me Concerned.#like. i wanna rant about this in my fandom friend groups but they're all UWU CROWLEY DESERVED BETTER so um. i no longer feel safe there tbh#good omens spoilers#go2 spoilers#go spoilers#good omens 2 spoilers
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abimee · 7 months
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this is just a me thing but i find i cant much ingest content about bad alien races or whatever where the premise is like. the main character drops down on a planet and has to deal with the violent alien race because first off. you are a visitor to that planet if you come in there and they dont exactly want you there i can reason why the aliens would be aggressive. two i was spoiled by outer wilds so at this point the ''these people on a different planet want you DEAD'' plot in most sci fi just makes me yawn. like just go somewhere else then thats their home after all
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tetradic-echinoidea · 9 months
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The more I think about gomens2 the more sad and upset I get. Why was it done so badly. Why did none of the plot threads lead to anything. Why was there no payoff to any of them. Why was the kiss the most uncomfortable and the least romantic kiss of all time. Why
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Okay, I trust you as a source for all things Fire Emblem - can you please tell me if Fire Emblem Engage is worth getting? It's a lot of money, and I've seen a real mixed reception for it. I've read reviews that call it uninspired and shallow, storywise, and that some characters are difficult to enjoy. Is it actually worth it, or am I better off just replaying Fates? I am TORN over here.
SO! Good news in brief: if you liked Fates I'm fairly certain that you've got a good chance of liking Engage. I honestly see Engage as Fates 2 with a much better focus on what it wants to be and do! In fact if I HAD to pick a previous entry for fair comparison/vibe similarities, I'd pick Fates, maybe Sacred Stones (though I've yet to finish that one).
Engage is right now my favorite entry of the series.
MORE DETAILED ANSWER UNDER THE CUT (I have only played thru once on normal + casual as of writing)
I still maintain it's a good game and worth it, but you HAVE to be open-hearted about it. It's going to be silly. It's going to be hammy and subtle as a sledgehammer. It will even say the most cringe ass shit with it's whole heart. It's just about the farthest from 3H you can get on the fire emblem scale to the point you could have it sitting next to Kingdom Hearts and I, personally, love that for it, but feel like comparing it to 3H's darker tones is the thing most negative reviewers fall prey to.
Is it simple? Yeah. Absolutely. Terribly predictable, even. Is it heartfelt? YES! ABSOLUTELY! Engage has no time for "wow that was cheesy" because it LOVES cheese and it wants you to know that LOVE IS THE MOST POWERFUL THING EVER. It knows it's running a trite and cliched story and it doesn't care about that so much as trying to hit its notes with just the right vibe- and I argue it does a majority of the time, but can concede some things are rather silly. It's full steam ahead with the power of love and friendship and it does that with about as much reverence as a Sat. A.M. cartoon. A good Sat. A.M. cartoon that you're still thinking of years down the line that was a formative childhood joy.
And it's not about romantic love, actually! Hardly at all! There's a lot more focus on familial and platonic love than romance!! There are explicit "I love you"s regarding family bonds and multiple sibling relationships that make it clear they would do everything for their family. The only romantic aspect is whoever you choose to have Alear S-Rank (the game calls it a ring rank for Reasons but its essentially an S-Rank), and everyone else's supports end at A. Even then there's room in a fair number of Alear's S-Ranks to get interpreted as Really Good Friends, as the focus is not on "I Love You" but moreso the fact Alear and the blorbo in question have a deep, deep bond (though there are S-Ranks that are romantic-tinted and some who will explicitly say they love Alear, and regardless of gender picked! wow! diversity win!). If you were looking for pairing up your sexy chess pieces and getting paired endings, though, there'll be a bit left to be desired.
Again if you like Fates, or Kingdom Hearts, or stories that are cheesy, simple, cliched, but heartfelt, you're going to like this one. The cast is wonderful, and the story has some surprisingly good emotional beats. Oh, and also some of the FUNNIEST supports I have seen. Ever.
Alear in particular has become my favorite lord of the series, just barely scooting ahead of Corrin by virtue of having a more solid characterization and arc that Fates didn't quite let Corrin have. Which, yes, you can rename Alear and give them their own birthday, but there is NO question that Alear is their own character; hats off to Laura Stahl and Brandon McInnis for bringing stellar performances that are essential to the character. Frankly hats off in general to the voice cast as a whole they really bring a charm to the game that cannot be ignored.
I will say that supports are pretty hard to grind out, though, requiring units to be adjacent, and the leveling curve leaves a lot of... wonkiness? It's VERY easy with the rate of receiving new units + leveling funk to have units fall behind, or your army to feel underleveled, if you're like me and mostly skip the side skirmishes (bad gamer, I know). I hear the skirmishes are also kind of wonky and scaled to Alear's level which. Can Be A Problem if you're trying to level or support grind weaker units. Though I will say that playing Normal + Casual playing straight through the main story, while it occasionally made me sweat, it did not make me have to completely redo a map (or, if it did, it was probably only once or twice and I've simply forgotten about the inconvenience). Just made unlocking supports irksome as units fell off and/or made it hard to keep some characters off the bench.
There's also an OBSCENE amount of freedom in what you can do with your units. Go crazy go stupid try not to die. Resource management can get tricky, there's not quite enough gold or bond points to do everything, but you can do a lot of stuff, especially if you find a favorite to focus in on. As for the Engage mechanic: very powerful, but not to the point of sapping all the challenge out of things, and fairly balanced. The Break mechanic introduced I think is a great addition to the weapon triangle mechanics and adds a nicer layer of consideration to unit placement + weapon diversity in your army than before.
Also, if you're worried Engage overly relies on it's intent as an anniversary celebration, don't! Engage still is doing its own thing, and moreso uses references to past entries as spice or flourishes of color. They add some fun easter eggs and flavoring to the story, but it doesn't rely on the emblems or any throwbacks to tell the story it's trying to tell. Are Firene and Brodia a 1:1 for Zofia and Rigel? Yeah! Probably on purpose! They literally got the guy who voices Duma in FEH to do King Morion! Do you need to know anything about Shadows of Valentia to appreciate that? Nope! Just nice to know. Corrin's ring is found in a Northern Fortress, to further help illuminate the cute nods involved.
If you're on the fence, totally get that, especially since dropping 60$ on a game in this economy- ~90$ if you wanna add DLC -is a lot of money to ask for. But I've thoroughly enjoyed what Engage has to offer, and currently am hopping along through playthrough #2 and trying to tell myself to S-Rank someone who isn't Alcryst (I will probably S-Rank Alcryst again). I'd suggest looking into the first few eps of a playthrough if you're still not quite sure, and, frankly, imo there's no shame in just purely enjoying it from a "watched a playthrough" perspective, if you have to.
and, if none of this has persuaded you, please direct your attention to Zelkov and this Honest-To-Alear real support exchange: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1_lsOLB68g
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steampoweredskeleton · 5 months
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#delete later#the decision between microdosing bg3 spoilers in order to msybe reduce the amount i will be overwhelmed when playing it#anf not looking at anything bc the interest level is getting to the point of i may end up having a panic attack#i saw one of the voice actors is from near where i grew up and got super excited bc no one ever knows my hometown and that#has NOT helped so now i know im getting pulled in whether i want to or not. so noe its just trying to mediate its effects#try and make it so i dont get so overwhelmed that i start having panic attacks and meltdowns#i think im just gonna have to stay away from his character completely until ive properly chilled. no idea why but any like#thing where my hometown is mentioned just makes me super syper super happy and that is like the QUICKEST way for me#to get panic level overwhelmed#its a really odd one and i really dont understand why it happens but it does#microdosing may be the wwy to go otherwise ill build it up to the point that i won't be able to play it bc of the anxiety#autism is wild i rly wish i didnt have it. in good news i problem solved very well today. it did make me so exhausted and#overstimulated that i couldnt do anything else today but hey. i still managed. im so anxious about next week. itll be fine though#also since i haven't had a media special interest for a hot minute ive been able to become more aware of the bits of it that are#unhealthy in terms of my mental health abd im gonna have to do a lot of picking abd choosing what to interact with#which is going to make media special interests straight up less fun but also i know that that shit can fuck up ny brain#way more than like bugs or folk tales.#one of which is avoiding stuff about the real ppl behind it bc cementing stuff ij reslity with real ppl can make things worse#in my brain bc i tend to gave difficulty seperating ecerything anyway#i daydream constantly and i need that to stay with fictional things bc if it goes into reality things it starts to get way worse#this ended up being a weird rant about how my brain struggles to stay in reality but that's fine ignore me
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