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gracieryder · 1 year

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The Fridge Magnet Theory

(Revised and Updated April 25, 2023)

The Diaz Family fridge has a collection of magnets (and more) that gets tweaked in small ways between sightings.

Most notable early on are the colored stick figures, but there are other magnets on the fridge as well. In later seasons, we also get photos and calendars.

They first came to our attention during Eddie’s surprise party because of the particular selection of magnets on the fridge and the way they were arranged ahead of that scene. There seemed to be a symbolic connection between the magnets and the people present at the party.

So, we went back and followed them from their introduction, and trends started to emerge.

I’m going to transfer all of our various posts and discussions with necessary changes. Let’s go! 👏

As I mentioned above, the magnets first grabbed our attention during the surprise party because of @buddiestiel67′s color theory post. It seemed like the five magnets could represent Buck, Taylor, Eddie, Ana, and Chris because the clothing seemed to match. However, we later discovered (as you can see in the pic above) that there were never two red magnets. One of the “red” magnets is actually orange. It’s just difficult to tell when watching the show.

This information seemed to almost debunk that particular theory.

(I say almost because if you tell me Taylor’s bright hair doesn’t look almost orange, I will call you a liar. 😭)

But that doesn’t matter until later.

For your reference:

This is the original research thread. 

[Please take everything in the above thread with a grain of salt if you decide to look through it because we were still compiling information and trying to figure things out at the time.]

This is an early breakdown post when we thought there were two red magnets because we’re clowns.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s get to it!

S3 E11: Seize the Day

AKA “I’m not really a guest.”

In this episode, we get our first glimpse of all ten stick figure magnets, three of the Dr. Seuss magnets (mentioned below), and the Arrested Development magnet (also mentioned below) in the scene with Maddie and Buck in Eddie’s kitchen.

We originally thought there were only nine, but @hattalove looked closer and discovered that the green magnet person is indeed there in 03x11. It’s just way down at the bottom of the fridge.

The circular magnets come from a 6-magnet set of Dr. Seuss magnets found by @stagefoureddiediaz here.

The three circular magnets that start out on the fridge are:

We’ve been able to determine that the photo magnet is an Arrested Development quote magnet, but as of right now, we don’t have an image of the actual magnet to show you. So, we can’t be 100% certain of the quote.

@tsunamibuck made the connection on this post. And @stagefoureddiediaz came in to tell us that this was correct, and she’d found the magnet at one point but was unable to locate it again after that.

She believes it’s the Gob Bluth quote “I’ve made a huge mistake.” But take that with a grain of salt because as of right now, we don’t have a clear enough picture of the magnet to confirm it.

She believes this particular magnet was originally just meant to be a joke about Fox cancelling Arrested Development.

Now that we know what the magnets are, let’s start going through their various appearances.

The main thing we noticed during their introduction was that the green figure was separated from all nine other figures. Standing right next to the figures at that time? Buck in that olive green looking shirt.

One thing to note is that this is the episode in which Buck receives a clean bill of health regarding his leg and had been somewhat isolated from the rest of the crew as he recovered.

However, despite that isolation from the crew at large, he tells Maddie that he’s not really a guest in Eddie’s house. A sign of his comfort and place in the Diaz family and household.

S3 E12: Fools

AKA The Skateboard Incident

The magnets change position in this episode and a new circular magnet is added. (Thank you, anon!)

@theladyyavilee noted in her tags on this reblog that the yellow figure we see separated from the rest with the circular magnets could be Chris because of how isolated and conflicted he was feeling at the time.

If we go back to that episode, literally right after we see Eddie and Carla in the kitchen talking and get a glimpse of the magnets, Eddie and Chris are having their talk at the table, and Chris is indeed wearing yellow. Eddie literally walks out of the kitchen and sits down to talk with him.

The new circular magnet that gets added is this one (which I think we all know ties to that episode pretty well thematically):

S3 E15: Eddie Begins

AKA Eddie fucking Begins?

The Diaz fridge we get in this episode isn’t the fridge this post has been following or continues to follow. It’s the Diaz fridge in El Paso! There was a lot going on there though, so if you’re interested, click this link for The Fridge Magnet Theory: Eddie Begins Edition! 😇

S4 E08: Breaking Point (Ty, anon!) 

AKA That Episode Where Chris Calls an Uber

Back to our regularly scheduled programming and the fridge we all know and love!

The number of stick figures drops from the ten we saw in 03x12 to seven. @theladyyavilee noted it best in the tags on this reblog:  #the fact that the figures decreased from s3 to s4 when we KNOW how much chris was struggling with missing all the people in his life?

We see Chris late in the episode express those feelings of isolation to Buck after he steals Eddie’s phone and calls an Uber.

The seven remaining stick figure magnets are dark blue, light blue, yellow, red, orange, green, and purple.

Also notable is that at no time in this scene do we see the other magnets except for when Chris is storming out of the room. We see two of them, and the choices are very telling.

We see the Arrested Development magnet with the quote “I’ve made a huge mistake” which can easily be tied to Eddie in this scene. And we also see the Dr. Seuss quote “I meant what I said and I said what I meant” which can easily be tied to Chris.

[This anon noted that the remaining seven magnets are just kind of chaotically thrown on the fridge which could hint at Chris’ state of mind at the time. However, in my opinion, they’re usually just kind of chaotically thrown up there except for when they aren’t. So 😂.

But if you think all of the magnets in this scene symbolize Chris, you may wish to note what he’s wearing at the end of the episode when he sees Ana again.]

S4 E09: Blindsided (thanks @theladyyavilee 💖)

AKA The One Where We Get Jee and Albert Flatlines

A fifth quote magnet gets added.

It’s the Dr. Seuss “A person’s a person, no matter how small” magnet.

We weren’t able to see exactly what it was in this episode, but the magnet remains in that position through 04x13 and becomes more visible in 05x03. It doesn’t move. So, we are able to go back and draw some informed conclusions.

@theladyyavilee put all of this together on this post: “going by the size, shape and color-sheme (blue-pink???!) it looks like it’s another doctor seuss magnet, specifically the one that only says ‘a person’s a person no matter how small’”

Assuming that this episode is indeed when the magnet gets added and it wasn’t just completely hidden until then, it seems to be another case of a quote magnet being added or made visible because it ties into the episode’s themes. This particular episode focuses heavily on children.

Note:

This is when Jee-Yun is born.

This is also when you have the storyline surrounding Nia being returned to her birth mother.

The main emergency in this episode involved a call from a child whose mother had been drinking which caused a major accident while he was in the car. The child was badly injured and taken into surgery. The dad has a breakdown while talking to Athena about it all.

This ties back to Bobby’s stuggle with alcoholism which is what led to the death of his wife and children.

All of this going on around him is likely one of the main reasons why we get the short scene of Eddie going home and immediately hugging Chris at the end of the episode.

That hug is when we see some other changes with the magnets as well.

The magnet people decrease to five in this scene. The dark blue and purple are gone. Red, orange, light blue, yellow, and green remain. Everything is still chaotically spread.

Chris is wearing a light blue shirt with various other colors on it as well.

S4 E13: Suspicion

AKA The One Where Eddie Gets Shot

We see the magnets in this episode when Eddie and Ana go into the kitchen to discuss Charlie and his mother.

The quote magnets are mostly grouped together on the left door of the fridge.

The exception being the fifth Dr. Seuss magnet which remains on the side of the fridge.

The five remaining figures are connected in a circle. They are the same colors we saw separated in the previous episode.

This is where the color theory becomes particularly interesting because it’s in the next episode that we see the welcome home party where all five of them are in the same room. Which is of course:

S4 E14: Survivors

AKA The Surprise Party

Now, as we established at the beginning, one of the figures in the circle is orange instead of red. Both Ana and Taylor in 04x14 are wearing red, but I think it’s fair to argue that the orange figure could be Taylor because of her hair.

So, as the color theory linked at the beginning noted, we have Eddie and Buck in yellow and blue, and Chris is in green.

Also, we have Ana and Taylor in very different shades of red. If you choose to acknowledge Taylor as orange because of the brightness of her hair, all five of them match the circle of remaining magnets.

Another link to that original color theory post to refresh your mind.

And now we go to Season 5.

S5 E03: Desperate Measures

AKA The Breakup

The key difference from Season 4 to Season 5 is that the red and orange magnets have disconnected from the circle.

Also notable between Season 4 and 5 is that the main four Dr. Seuss magnets and the Arrested Development magnet are more aligned.

Three theories to address here regarding the colored figures. One is assuming that the colors still stand for who we assume they stood for at the end of Season 4. The others assume that they’re specific to this episode symbolically. This seems more likely as we’ve addressed the symbolism as changing from episode to episode in the past.

Before we get into those though, note that this is when we get the true look at the quote magnet that first appeared in 04x09: Blindsided. It’s also when we’re able to see that Eddie now has what appears to be a calendar/planner on the side of his fridge.

As for why, @stagefoureddiediaz makes a good point in her tags on this reblog: #as for the planner thing being on the side - same thing - Eddie doesn’t know what his plans are for the future.

Eddie seems to have lost sight of what it is he wants, where he should be, and what he should be doing. This becomes a major theme throughout all of Season 5, and the calendar remains on the side of the fridge the entire time.

[She also makes some other guesses on that reblog as to why this is the moment we get a clear view of that particular Dr. Seuss magnet even though it’s been around for a while, why it’s on the side of the fridge, and what that might mean. I left all of that out because this isn’t technically the first time we’re seeing it, but check out her reblog if you’re interested!]

Now! Let’s get into the three theories regarding the stick figures!

Theory One: The red and orange magnets for Ana and Taylor are detached from the rest of the circle.

One is obviously more disconnected than the other, but they’re both disconnected.

However, the blue, yellow, and green magnets have remained connected.

This is all signaling Ana and Taylor being disconnected from the remaining group of Eddie, Buck, and Chris.

Theory Two: We see the yellow, blue, and green magnets all connected as a unit. And we see the red and orange magnets disconnected from that unit. One only slightly. And the red and orange magnets are also disconnected from each other.

@theladyyavilee pointed out that the blue and green figures are bracketing the yellow figure, almost like parents and a child.

And we see Ana, Eddie, and Chris sitting together wearing those colors right before we see the magnets (which @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx brought to my attention with this edit that @ellelans has given her blessing for us to use. 😘)

Which could also mean that in this episode, the red and orange magnets are Buck and Taylor.

The red one being only slightly separated from Eddie would likely be Buck in this scenario. We saw that Eddie was keeping Buck at a slight distance by not informing him of the panic attacks he experienced until pushed repeatedly. The orange could therefore be Taylor who is completely separated from the group and slightly distant from Buck at this point as well.

The blue (Ana) and green (Eddie) are only connected through Chris (yellow) who is standing on two feet between them.

This makes sense as this is the scene when Eddie breaks up with her and removes her completely from their family unit after admitting that he’s been trying to make it work for Chris.

Theory Three: This theory is almost identical to Theory Two except that it assumes the red and orange magnets are unimportant in this case, and the only connection to be made is the blue, yellow, and green for Eddie, Ana, and Chris.

S5 E10: Wrapped in Red (Christmas Episode)

AKA Eddie Leaves the 118

We do NOT see the magnets in this episode, but it seemed very purposeful. So, we’re making a note of it.

We had an entire scene of Eddie and Carla talking in Eddie’s kitchen. They were shown from multiple angles. Yet somehow, at no point during that scene do we get even a glimpse of Eddie’s fridge. Not one.

So it seems as though they deliberately avoided showing us the magnets before we got to the next episode:

S5 E11: Outside Looking In

AKA Eddie Has a New Job

@theladyyavilee pointed it out and said it best on this post:

NO MAGNET PEOPLE, I REPEAT NOT A SINGLE MAGNET PERSON ON THAT FRIDGE, HOW VERY EDDIE-AND-CHRIS-COMPLETELY-CUT-OFF-FROM-THEIR-FAMILY OF THEM

The magnet people are gone, but the rest of the magnets are still there.

This could easily symbolize Eddie and Chris now being cut off from the rest of their family as a result of Eddie no longer working at the 118.

(For a more in depth view of Eddie’s self-imposed isolation and how the symbolism of the magnets may showcase that, check out the post by @yramesoruniverse here. The magnets appear towards the end.)

The calendar (which remains on the side) is also easily visible.

S5 E14: Dumb Luck

AKA Eddie Has a Nightmare

We see the fridge again during Eddie’s nightmare at the beginning of the episode.

It’s a dream sequence as opposed to an actual scene, but let’s look at it.

The quote magnets from ‘Outside Looking In’ are still on the left side of the fridge which was confirmed by @stagefoureddiediaz here.

The main thing of note from this scene is Eddie collapsing against the right side of the fridge. This is generally where the magnet people are located.

However, instead of the stick figures who generally represent Eddie, Chris, and/or the people around them, that side of the fridge gets smeared with Eddie’s blood as he relives being shot.

Instead of the people in his life. Instead of himself. There’s only blood and pain and death.

That makes sense when you consider all of the compounding traumas he’s currently facing as well as the fact that he just found out multiple people in his life died without him realizing it.

S6 E04: Animal Instincts

AKA Chris Gets In Trouble For Lying

The fridge makes its first appearance in S6 when Eddie takes a phone call from Chris’ school. There’s a lot to unpack here.

The magnet people still seem to be gone. We do believe there is a very good chance that they may not return to the Diaz fridge. They slowly disappeared over time as Eddie, Buck, and Chris underwent various traumas starting in late Season 4 into Season 5. They stayed gone as Eddie felt isolated and slowly declined in S5.

The magnet figures were representative of the people they’ve been up until this point. However, Eddie underwent great changes in S5, and he’s arguably a different person than he was before. His relationship with Chris has changed. Their relationship with Buck has changed. Blood was smeared where those magnets were once placed and could therefore additionally signify the death of who they were before. And because they’re no longer those people, the magnet people in particular may be retired.

We’re therefore starting off this season with the five circular quote magnets we ended with, the Arrested Development magnet, the calendar, and some newly added photos. All of which we will continue to follow going forward. Of course, we will keep an eye out for any of the other magnets returning as well.

The large calendar we’ve seen on the side of the fridge before now is not visible. However, another calendar has appeared on the front of the fridge. It appears for this episode and this episode only.

It’s seems to be a calendar of events for Chris’ school. This ties into the entire scene as this is when Eddie takes the call from Durand and finds out Chris has been lying to him about his whereabouts.

It’s being held by two of the five quote magnets, and the choices made are particularly interesting. These are the magnets for your reference.

The first magnet stood out to us once before. This was during Eddie and Chris’ kitchen confrontation over Ana - when Chris breaks the salad bowl and storms out of the room. Of the six Dr. Seuss magnets, it’s the only one with a confrontational tone. It’s notable that it was the only one shown during that particular scene, and now during this confrontation, it’s front and center being used to hold up the event schedule for the school that calls Eddie and sparks the conflict between them in this episode.

The other magnet has also been linked to Chris in the past. This is the latest of the quote magnets added to the fridge. It was added in 04x09: Blindsided which you’ll recall was heavily focused on children, and the magnet was showcased during an end scene when Eddie goes home to hug his son. It’s now being used to hold up a schedule of events for - you guessed it! - kids.

The photos themselves are also interesting, and there are some things to note that become relevant later. (FYI, they were first discussed here after we got this BTS TikTok from @911bts pre-S6, and they were discussed further on this post.)

There are three of them. One is of Chris and Eddie. It’s a shot of them sitting together in the Eddie Begins flashbacks. The next is of Chris and Shannon seemingly from 02x10 Merry Ex-Mas. The third is of a young Chris.

Pay attention to the way they’re connected. The picture of Eddie holding Chris is being held up by the quote “Don’t give up. I believe in you all. A person’s a person, no matter how small.”

That picture is connected to the picture of Shannon and Chris not by another Dr. Seuss magnet but by the Arrested Development magnet.

As we know, the quote on that magnet just so happens to be “I’ve made a huge mistake.”

The picture of Shannon with Chris from Merry Ex-Mas is connected to the picture of a young Chris with the quote “Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.”

And the final magnet solely on Chris’ picture is the one that says “Think and Wonder. Wonder and Think.”

Just something to keep in mind as we move forward.

S6 E05: Home Invasion

AKA The One With Hoover the Dog

Things get a little strange here. I’ll explain why.

We see the fridge again in this episode when Eddie and Chris have the conversation about Hoover and separation anxiety.

However, we only see a small piece of it. We see the side, which is now empty. Last time we saw it, the large white calendar was there. We also get a glimpse of the photo of Shannon and Chris. (Thanks, @stagefoureddiediaz!)

She’s being held by the magnet we last saw on Chris with the quote “Think and Wonder. Wonder and Think.”

To quote @stagefoureddiediaz on this post:

“...the first time we see them they're all interconnected on the fridge - one with Shannon, one with Eddie, and one which is just Chris (as a baby and how cute!!) suggesting that all 3 of them are still interconnected. The interesting thing is that the Shannon and Chris one is the one in the middle - almost like a connecting point between Chris and Eddie. But then we do get a very tiny glimpse of the Chris and Shannon one in the scene with Hoover, and we can see that they've moved - we cant see what the others are doing, but we can see that Shannon is now off to the side and not at the centre of things - it's likely that at this point they've all separated, we just can't see it.”

Normally, we’d move on from here to the next episode, so consider this the end of the canon portion of this episode.

However, we can’t just jump ahead because we have a BTS shot of this scene (courtesy of @911bts) that shows us the entire front of the fridge.

We can deduce that this shot is from this particular scene because it doesn’t match the previous episode with the school calendar, and the pictures to the left are straighter than they are in the next episode, which you’ll realize when we get there. (There have only been the three scenes so far.) The calendar we’ve linked to Eddie in the past has also now moved from the side of the fridge to the front of the fridge.

There is a good chance that some of the footage from this scene was cut. For what reason, we can’t be sure. But you can read more on this post if you’re interested in our (mine, @stagefoureddiediaz, and @theladyyavilee)’s discussion surrounding it all.

Earlier, we also mentioned a BTS TikTok posted by @911bts. It seems to be for the same episode. The quality is low, but we’re able to tell that both of the orange magnets are still on the fridge [pink boxes below]. Only two of the six magnets are that color, so it has to be them. This is noteworthy because one of those magnets is gone in the next episode.

So, more fridge content may have originally been meant for this scene that we just didn’t get to see, and the photos are indeed no longer connected the way that they were previously (as @stagefoureddiediaz concluded just from what we were able to see in the episode). None of this was actually shown in the episode though, and that may have been for a reason. It’s just something to keep in mind because the BTS will come up again in the next episode as well.

S6 E08: What’s Your Fantasy?

AKA Buck Babysits Jee-Yun & Chris Goes to a School Dance

This episode gives us our next actual view of the front of the fridge.

Now, we know that there was a bit of separation during the Hoover episode, but it’s gone even further in this one. Whether or not you take the BTS into account, the pictures have more distance between them than they did before.

Shannon has moved even further away to the top left corner of the door, and Eddie has moved into the right corner of the door. Chris’ photo is tilted in the lower-center.

Another major change to note in this scene is the removal of two magnets.

Both of these magnets have been on the fridge since they first appeared in S3, and they were put to use in ‘Animal Instincts’ (and possibly ‘Home Invasion’ if you decide count the BTS as being canonical to that episode).

One of the magnets that has been removed is the Arrested Development magnet with the quote “I’ve made a huge mistake.”

The last time we saw the Arrested Development magnet about making mistakes, it was connecting the photos of Eddie and Shannon each holding Chris. It’s now gone.

Two quotes from @stagefoureddiediaz‘ in the replies on and reblog of this post sum it up well:

“...that was the quote and it’s not just holding up the Shannon picture - but connecting the Eddie and Shannon pictures / then it’s gone and they’re no longer connected - and then we have Eddie - seemingly having laid her ghost to rest and moving forward rather than holding onto the past...”

“But then [the photos] move again - and they've separated even more [...] almost like now that we've seen Eddie have a conversation where he talked about Shannon dying openly and with someone who is essentially a stranger and who didn't know his past, accompanied by the pictures separating and a story where Chris is growing up and pulling away from Eddie - at the same time Eddie is in a place to move forward - I'm here for it!”

The other missing magnet is the Dr. Seuss one that says “Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.” The last time we saw this magnet, it was connecting the photo of Shannon and Chris to the photo of the younger Chris. It’s now gone, which can tie into the hints of foreshadowing we’ve seen regarding Chris so far this season and also be a reminder that he and Shannon have no more fun days ahead of them. To quote @stagefoureddiediaz again from the same post:

“…because it just further implies that Chris in danger is incoming - because to remove [the] one that implies tomorrows going to be another good day (and after we saw Chris having a good day on the beach) is screaming that tomorrow is in fact not going to be a good day…”

To quote her from our DM:

“[…] I��m thinking it’s [also] connected to the idea of his family being whole - that we might not see that magnet [again] until buck is more a part of the family - he’s still going through his own thing at the moment so he’s not ready to fully embrace being a part of the Diaz family.”

But make of that what you will! We’ll revisit this as needed!

Because two magnets with quotes were removed, let’s also note the ones that remain and their placements.

Shannon is still being held in place by quote “Think and Wonder. Wonder and Think.”

Eddie is now being held by the quote: “A person’s a person, no matter how small.” We last saw this magnet helping hold the event calendar for Christopher’s school.

The photo with Chris alone has two quotes holding it up. They are: “Don’t give up. I believe in you all. A person’s a person, no matter how small.” and “I meant what I said, and I said what I meant.”

These choices may be random. What stands out as more intentional is the removal of the two magnets that have been there for the past three seasons - including the beginning of this one. We’ll revisit all of these and their possible relevance as more content becomes available.

The final thing we note in this episode is the calendar representing Eddie which is now front and center instead of to the side which could show that his story is now a focus. It may also be a sign that he’s on the right path now as opposed to his struggles to figure everything out in S5. It is a blank monthly calendar with two black x’s on it.

We know from the BTS that at least one of those black x’s was already there in ‘Home Invasion’. However, it wasn’t shown on screen.

This is our first time really seeing either of them. The x’s are on the Monday and Thursday of the third week. No other writing is on the calendar.

Some theories (including 🤡🤡🤡 ones) were thrown out and discussed in the reblogs of and in the replies on this post, but we can’t draw any real definitive conclusions about what these x’s mean. So, I won’t get into detail about those theories at this time.

S6 E12: Recovery

AKA Buck Falls Asleep on Eddie’s Couch

There’s quite a lot of fridge content in this episode. I’m going to focus on the magnets and everything on the front of the fridge, and I’ll explain the other connections and link out to other related fridge theories as we go.

We get a new Durand calendar in this episode. Eddie’s calendar has again been removed. It’s different from the Durand calendar we got in 06x04. The most noticeable difference is that it no longer needs to be held up by other magnets. It’s able to stick on its own – without assistance - which could be a nod to Chris’ growing independence.

The photo of baby Chris and the photo of Shannon and Chris have been moved to the right side of the fridge.

Chris is still being held by the quote “I meant what I said, and I said what I meant.”

But the quote “Don’t give up. I believe in you all. A person’s a person, no matter how small” that was previously helping hold up Chris has moved to join the photo of Eddie and Chris instead. The picture of the two of them alone on the left side of the fridge is being held by both versions of the same quote: “A person’s a person, no matter how small” and “Don’t give up. I believe in you all. A person’s a person, no matter how small.” 

Shannon and Chris is still being held by the quote “Think and Wonder. Wonder and Think.”

Multiple things to make note of here.

First of all, despite what you may think, that is not the exact same picture of Eddie and Chris that we’ve seen in previous episodes. It’s the same image, but this one is printed in a landscape format as opposed to the portrait format we’ve seen previously.

@stagefoureddiediaz posited two theories on this post: “there’s a part of me thinking about if it represents a widening of the picture - making space as it were but I honestly think it might just be a continuity error!!!”

These are both valid theories, and there’s no way of knowing for sure which one it is. She thinks there’s a good chance that the photo got lost when props were taken down, and they printed out a new copy (just incorrectly), but I’m personally leaning more towards it being more purposeful.

And that’s because of the photos on the right side of the fridge.

This is the first time we’ve seen photographs on this side.

In fact, the last “people” we saw on the right side of the fridge were the colored stick figure magnets, and we saw them slowly vanish as Eddie, Chris, and possibly Buck depending on your interpretation evolved as characters.

It’s interesting to me that not only is the calendar able to remain stuck to the fridge on its own, but the photos that have been moved over as though they’re on their way to being in the past (like the colored stick figures) are the photos of baby Chris and the photo of Shannon and Chris.

It becomes even more noteworthy to me when you think about what @stagefoureddiediaz points out on this post by @hattalove referencing both the photo in that post and the photo on the fridge.

#but also the fact that they oblitterated Shannons face out of the picture on the fridge of her and Chris from christmas 👀👀 #it says so much bout the place Shannon now occupies compared with the one Buck occupies #because that christmas was the christmas of the Elf - Buck was there but in the background #now shannon is there - only in the background and not part of important moments/developments etc

@sainteddie made that point on this post by saying: “but this week’s kitchen scene in particular reflected this growth so beautifully.. along with the rest of eddie’s healing… because they were able to showcase christopher existing outside of their dynamic. buck didn’t ask, eddie didn’t volunteer anything. christopher was able to exist quietly in the lunch eddie was packing without needing words. because this was about them and what they’ve built.”

There’s a lot more to that post, and I recommend reading it. This is just the bit relating to the kitchen scene. Because I’d also argue that Chris is being represented there but existing outside of their dynamic by his calendar being the one on the fridge. Particularly when looked at through a lens of independence.

This scene being focused on Buck and Eddie and their dynamic outside of Chris is also supported by another theory related to what’s going on inside of the fridge. I won’t get too deep into that because this post is already a LOT, but the general idea revolves around the fact that the water in Buck’s fridge was empty whereas the water in Eddie’s fridge was full.

To quote @yramesoruniverse from this post about the water (which was first pointed out by @anxieteandbiscuits in the tags of this post): “I lost the post, but bravo to whoever caught that the water container in Buck's refrigerator was empty. You know, before he asked for water and Eddie poured him a glass. Before he fell asleep on Eddie's couch underneath a painting of the ocean. Before Dr. Salazar told him that "water finds its own level, people do too." I mean, water was already a significant metaphor for Buck, Eddie and Chris. And then they did that? Insanity.”

[ I don’t want to stray too far from the magnets (and the content on the front of the fridge) beyond what’s necessary to explain their significance in this episode, so see this post for more detailed information. It’s a list of links for water theory, beer theory, and more conversations surrounding this episode and the fridges within it.]

Before we go, here’s an up-close look at Chris’ current school schedule. As you can see, whoever did the numbering on this for the show forgot weekends are a thing. 😂 But it looks like he’s got a science fair, another fair, an English paper, and a math quiz in his future. 😎 Make of that what you will. 🧐

S6 E15: Death and Taxes (shoutout to @lesbiandiaz for sending us these pictures allowing us to get started early)

AKA Buck and Eddie Talk in the Cemetery

So much is going on in this episode, so let’s break it down bit by bit.

We’ll start with the calendars.

First up, Eddie’s calendar. Bet you didn’t catch that one! Thankfully for all of us, @catdadeddie did. We actually see Eddie’s calendar on the right side of the fridge where we’ve never seen anything up until now.

@stagefoureddiediaz sums it up well: ‘Ok so the calendar has never been on that side of the fridge before [...] and that is in and of itself telling (and heartbreaking) - Eddie has put himself to the side again - except now he's on the other side - he's moved past Shannon - the calendar has literally crossed past her pictures on the fridge from one side to the other - is symbolic of Eddies choice to move on and forward. I think that might be why we've seen it moving to the front and then back to the side - kind of like a move forward before a move back. But the calendar is also hidden by the cupboards on this side - so Eddie has moved on and Eddie is back to waiting on the side or in this instance I think it might be him choosing to sideline himself (because he thinks Buck doesn't want him) and he's also hiding himslef a bit more - being protective - but the calendar isn't gone - its still there - if there was no hope then I think it would've been removed - it just in a different place - Eddie is in a different place now.’

Chris’ school calendar, however, has once again been replaced with a new one. (Maybe they noticed how we dragged them last time because we got an accurate calendar this week. 😂) It’s a calendar for April 2023. We first see it when Eddie is rushing out the door while on the phone with his mom, and because everything is so detailed on this one, we’re able to determine that the date of this scene is April 7th, and Chris has Science Club.

Later in the episode when we see it again, it’s now April 25th, the day after his science project was due.

@stagefoureddiediaz talked about the callback of it all to 05x14 and ‘I misunderstood the assignment’ by pointing out the science connection and more when they’re talking about the solar oven project at the cemetery: ‘Also connecting this scene to the one from 5x14 through the hoodie is insane - [and through] the science of it all - Christopher’s factual heart drawing [last time] - chris in grey stripes - when Buck wore a grey shirt in the 5x14 scene there’s something there about the information in those two scenes being connected - heart metaphors being at the centre and with the stripes representing change I’m thinking it might be in some way connected to the idea of moving on, but also acceptance that you can let new people into your heart...’

As for the calendar, we actually see Eddie write directly on it in the first scene while discussing Chris’ plans for Earth Day which is April 22nd. He writes the words “Field trip” on the exact right date. Chris’ schedule isn’t the only schedule Chris’ calendar is being used for though. We also see the word work repeated multiple times, obviously in reference to Eddie’s work schedule. Interesting that they’d use Chris’ calendar for this when the larger one is also on the fridge.

April 25th, the day they make s’mores, happens to be a free day for both of them.

Chris’ calendar and the marker/pen used to write on it are now being held by red clip magnets which bring to mind red flags and the foreshadowing we’ve seen with Chris so far this season. It just so happens that the third red clip magnet is holding up the picture of Shannon and Chris at the beach that’s been by the front door in a frame until now.

(Speaking of foreshadowing and red flags and beaches, Chris has surf lessons coming up, make of that what you will.)

This picture was specifically moved to the fridge and placed in that clip for Eddie to knock it to the floor in front of us.

In the words of @theladyyavilee, ‘it NEEDED to be in the kitchen and it needed to be on the fridge’ which absolutely tracks when you consider not just the fridge symbolism that’s been at play but the recurring theme of the kitchen being the heart of the home.

@stagefoureddiediaz says ‘this episode was Shannon heavy - her presence was far more felt than at any other time. And when that picture falls off the fridge - eddie is feeling like he’s lost his other co-parent and so Shannon’s relevance has increased over Bucks - because even if she isn’t able to be there her presence will never leave. Buck however at that moment is different - eddie feels like he’s been left or that he’s going to be left and so Eddie seeking comfort in the shadow of presence that Shannon offers makes sense because she cannot let him down again - she can’t break his heart like buck [has] just (inadvertently) done...’

The clips aren’t our only new magnets though! We also have some new colored magnets! They aren’t the stick figures this time. They’re cubes. Specifically, red, yellow, green, and blue ones.

We believe this is their new method of representing the Diaz boys and the people around them now that the stick figures are retired. In this scene, we get Eddie and Chris in these outfits:

Eddie in green, and Chris in a tri-color shirt of yellow, blue, and gray.

Going to bring over some direct quotes from @stagefoureddiediaz to sum this up. ‘... my thoughts on that jumper are about connecting him to buck in bucks absence from the room - that the show is trying to hint at how Chris has 3 parents - 3 people who are making him in to who he is becoming - it’s something they took pains to point out in other ways - and bucks presence was in the Diaz grave scene with the other jumper too. So if the jumper is all three parents then the ochre use makes sense - Shannon is white - as she is no longer of the mortal coil. Buck remains blue and chris is the yellow - the part of himself that is him. Eddie is wearing green and is present in the scene and so doesn’t need to be represented.’

Buck’s been framed as blue and Eddie as green throughout the season, so this stays true to that, meaning the green block by Chris and Shannon is Eddie, the yellow block on Shannon is Christopher, and the blue block slightly off to the side is Buck. Also notable is the red block over by the red clips because we see Natalia wearing a red dress in this episode and she has significant ties to death and can also be seen as pulling Buck slightly away from the other two.

The landscape portrait of Eddie and Christopher has notably remained the same, including the tilt of the quote magnets being used to hold it up. Eddie and Chris’ relationship is stable, and there’s still space to add in someone new.

Final notes:

Chris is still being held by the quote “I meant what I said, and I said what I meant.”

The calendar has the quote “Think and Wonder. Wonder and Think.” holding down the botton even though it's being held up by a clip.

Until next time! 💃

#so tumblr decided it's not going to let me update my original fridge post anymore 😒#therefore new post #this one is the most updated version with the new information we found for season 4 as well as information from the latest episode #god this post is massive 💀#the fridge magnet theory #eddie diaz #evan buckley #christopher diaz #buddie #buckley-diaz family #911 #blood tw

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vaguely-concerned · 27 days

Text

A Stitch In Time First Read Reactions & Thoughts Monster Post Part 2

and the adventure/Garak's horrible life continues!

Part 1, Part 3

- “That’s who he is now, Tolan. He’s a man.” I heard mother’s voice as I approached the opened door to our housing unit after a training session.

“He’s hard, Mila,” Father said.

“He has to be,” she replied.

“But to the point where he’s unreachable?” Father asked. “Where nothing penetrates? How can he express even his basic needs if he’s trapped inside a shell?”

“It’s better this way, Tolan. I know what’s in store for him,” Mother interrupted. There was a momentary silence.

“More Bamarren,” Father said, almost to himself. There was another silence indicating the discussion was over. I decided to take a walk.

Tolan my man. You are planting some seeds in a garden you won’t live to see here and you are so important and valid for that. Tain does his best to crush this all out of Garak eventually and almost succeeds, but I really do think that little chime of having been genuinely, unconditionally loved by someone is part of the reason he can start growing again once Bashir shows up on the scene and brings a bit of sunlight back, as it were. One man’s love can’t save you from the totalitarian state or people like Enabran Tain, but it can leave room for the possibility for something different one day, under other circumstances

- “Let’s have some tea.” He laughed because he knew that the tea he drank, which was brewed from the roots of some shrub, had made me gag the first—and only—time I’d tried it. I had a separate container of the common choban variety. We took our containers and settled in a shady place that faced the playing children.

This is such a lovely real-feeling little detail to work in — he got to taste his dad’s coffee once and Didn’t Care For It so he has his own little box of fruit tea or whatever fdlksa.

“The first Hebitians had an advanced culture that was sophisticated on every level, Elim. Yes, it was solarbased, but they were able to support themselves, and this is what most of the planet looked like.” He waved his tea container to indicate the Grounds. The idea was almost too outlandish for me. Soft and green places are rare on Cardassia.

“It’s hard to imagine, isn’t it? We live in constant struggle with the land. We’ve become as hard and dry….” Father trailed off and sipped his tea. I thought of my favorite place at Bamarren, and almost told Father about it—but how could I describe the enclosure without speaking of her?

All those secrets already getting in the way of him sharing the things he really wants to with the people he loves…

I remembered that Calyx had called me an “air man” and wondered if I didn’t get it from Father. Mother often complained that he didn’t have a grasp of what she called our “power-driven reality,” and he would reply that his reality was driven by the same power that grew his plants and shrubs. These arguments always left the house feeling divided and cold.

“I love this place, Elim. And it means a great deal to me that we’re able to spend this time with each other working here.” Father smiled and put his hand on my shoulder. He rarely touched me, and the contact embarrassed me … and sent a warm feeling through my body. I felt like one of his plants. He kept his hand on my shoulder and stared at me with an intensity that made me afraid of what he was going to say next.

Let me indulge in a Harrow the Ninth quote: “You were so afraid anyone might touch you. You had always been afraid of anyone touching you, and had not known your longing flinch was so obvious to those who tried it.”

“Was this your … ‘power,’ which makes the plants and flowers grow?”

Father’s face broke into a beaming smile, and I thought he was going to grab me. He had never looked at me like this, and I felt somehow proud that my question had gotten such a reaction. Suddenly he looked past me, and his expression—so open and so animated with the attempt to explain what essentially was unexplainable—became as unreadable as that disembodied mask.

Mother was at the door. I don’t know how long she had been there, but she was not pleased.

“Oh, Tolan,” was all she said.

“Get cleaned up, Elim,” Father said. I was aware of a strong forcefield that I had been caught in the middle of many times before. It always made me feel helpless, and this time was no exception. I gladly complied. As I was about to leave the room, however, I saw Mother’s eyes as she looked at Father. Intimate was not a word I would ever have used to describe their relationship—efficient or collaborative, perhaps—but I had never seen how much distance actually existed between them until this very moment.

Considering the fact that they’re actually siblings… I’m only impressed they managed to leave Garak with a view of romantic relationships that isn’t even weirder than it is. The starvation diet of intimacy he grew up under tho, even with parental figures who loved him as far as they were able…

- (About Mila) She was a sturdy, compact woman with prematurely graying hair and strong features that were now leading the way. She was always very patient with me, but I was under the impression that she had something of weight and consequence on her mind that discouraged everything but essential interaction.

- LMAO oh of course he uses the holosuites basically as a sauna. An ill-advisedly horny sauna right now, even fhsajkjfsa. Dude I know you’re bored and Julian won’t speak to you as much as you want him to but this is some extra level of you shouldn't be doing this (as if that has ever stopped him)

- “You’re going to work today, son.” She remained true to her course and didn’t look at me when she spoke.

“I’ve been going to work every day,” I responded, out of a childish loyalty to Father.

“That’s not your work,” she stated. “You’re a man now, and you’re being given a great opportunity. I want you to behave like a man and submit to the path that’s opening up before you.”

“Have I ever opposed your wishes, Mother?” I probably imagined the slight crack of a smile on her face.

. . .

“Your father has ideas I don’t agree with … that are best left unexpressed. I advise you to forget them. They’ll only make your work more difficult.” She stopped and looked at me for the first time. “Understand, Elim—you are being given the opportunity to move above the service class.”

I recoiled from both the word I mistrusted and the implication that the work Mother and Father did was low and demeaning.

“I was taught that the service class was an irreplaceable piece of the Cardassian mosaic,” I replied with crude irony.

“Listen to me!” she said with a passion that startled me. “You are my son and you are a Cardassian. Not a Hebitian. Look around you!” she commanded. I did. We were in the great public area which is surrounded by the buildings that house the power of the Union. “Hebitians did not build this. Cardassians did. Your father and I serve and maintain, but we do not influence or guide the destiny of the Union. You could. That’s why you must submit right now! Do you understand me, Elim? Once we walk through that door,” she indicated the one that led to the subterranean levels of the Assembly building—to the Obsidian Order—'you must submit to your fate.”

Mother’s eyes were burning with an intensity that communicated a care and passion that was every bit the equal of Father’s. I nodded dumbly. She took a deep breath and composed herself. Unconsciously, she smoothed my hair and tugged at my tunic.

“You’re a good boy … Sleg.” This time the smile was real.

He’s SO loyal!! Just the implication that what Mila and Tolan do isn’t valuable or important and he’s ready to throw hands with someone about it fdskjdas. Also “I’ve been going to work every day,” I responded, out of a childish loyalty to Father. GUH. One of nature’s ride or die people

Before Palandine, the other person in his life he uses humor to bond and communicate with is his mother. Don’t have any conclusions to draw about this but I just think it’s neat

I don’t blame Garak for having a Pavlovian horror reaction to the word ‘opportunity’ after all this

Unconsciously, she smoothed my hair and tugged at my tunic. God. God. God.

- “But what am I here for?” I now felt bolder.

“You’re here to find out who you are. And to create your own story.”

“Story?”

“Your history. Up to this point you’ve been defined by other people’s needs. Mila’s. Tolan’s. Your docent’s.”

“Yours?” I asked. Tain laughed.

“Perhaps. But here you have the opportunity to change all that.”

Okay I’m starting to feel a little ill this is going to go so horribly oh god

“When you see your mother, she is ‘Mila’ and you are to treat her like any other service worker.” He held my look to see how I would react to the last order.

Cool cool cool he didn’t even wait five minutes to begin to strip away everything in his life that isn’t tain that’s so great and wonderful

- It was at that moment that I decided that not only was I not going to open up the basement, I was not going to rebuild the house of Enabran Tain. Instead I constructed the largest and most ambitious formation of material where the center of the house—Tain’s study—had formerly been located. This was my memorial to Mila, who remained entombed in the basement. If the people need a place to mourn their dead, to mourn a way of life that will never return, then I offer the home of Enabran Tain, the man most responsible for provoking this destruction. Parmak is right: otherwise, how can we ever move ahead?

I’m so proud of him I feel like a proud parent of this fictional gay murder man old enough to be my father

- I felt oddly disconnected, almost as if I were walking next to and observing this person, Elim Garak, who was playing out a fateline that demanded his submission, and over which he had no control.

. . .

Another basement, but much smaller than home. I wondered if I’d ever live at ground level or higher in the City. . . . When there was nothing left to do I decided to go to sleep. But I couldn’t. From upstairs there came the faint sound of someone moving about. It wasn’t Tain. But how could I be sure? He seemed to be everywhere else in my life.

What is his life but a series of shitty basements when you get right down to it

- Reading, or sewing, or moving my display clothing (optimistic about the shop someday opening again), I’d feel the walls slowly moving in.

I’m just so happy to have it confirmed he really, genuinely grows to enjoy his craft. It’s so cute and I’m so glad he’s excited about it. *doing classic code breaking spy work* UGH I could be sewing right now this sucks

- “Hallo, Garak.” He was waiting at the entrance. “I hope you don’t mind, but I had something prepared for us and thought we could take lunch in my office.”

“No—that sounds fine.” I was taken back by the suggestion, since we had never dined in his office before. I followed as he led the way to the cluttered space he usually reserved for private consultations. When I saw that the table was set for three, my system went on full alert.

“Are we expecting someone else, Doctor?” I asked.

“Well, uh, yes … or rather, Odo was going to try to make it, but he may be held up.” The doctor was almost too casual as he busied himself serving the prepared dishes. “He said we should start without him.” He uncovered my food: tojal in yamok sauce, one of my favorite Cardassian dishes. Now I was certain something was up.

“Where did you find this, Doctor?” I didn’t have the heart to tell him tojal is a breakfast dish.

a) wingman odo back in action!!! ~*mysteriously late*~, is he…. b) bashir knows what cardassian food garak likes best……….. c) this man is eating the alien equivalent of eggs and bacon for dinner b/c it’s such a sweet gesture from julian even if he got it slightly wrong… omg… d) nervous Julian… I would take a bullet for you

“Oddly enough, the chef at the Klingon restaurant fancies himself an intergalactic gourmet. However, I’m afraid the concept of chips still eludes him,” the doctor said as he held up a long, greasy strip of what he called fried potato.

“What’s the occasion, Doctor? You didn’t have to go to all this trouble. You’re a busy man.”

“I just thought it’d be pleasant if we had some privacy today,” he said, avoiding a direct look.

“Oh. For any particular reason?” I asked as I began to eat.

“Well, I… uh … actually was planning to talk about this after lunch.” I could see that the doctor was out of his element. Perhaps he was disconcerted that we had to conduct this lunch without a third party.

“Talk about what, Doctor?” I put down my utensils and gave him my full attention.

“Well, I was hoping that Odo would join us.” The Doctor looked toward the door with a look that corroborated my suspicion. He suddenly nodded.

“Yes, quite right. We should do this before; we’ll digest better.” He suddenly jumped up. “I have some rokossa juice … tea?”

“What is it?” My insistence pulled him back down.

“You know how important those codes are to us. I don’t have to tell you what that information means.”

“No one knows better than I,” I said.

“Of course not. And I respect that for whatever reason you’re … unable to continue to break them down for us.”

“Yes?” I prompted.

“You see, this is so difficult, Garak. I know what a private person you are, and how you detest people meddling in your affairs….”

“Ironic for a spy, isn’t it?”

“No, everyone has a right to their privacy, but … circumstances being what they are….”

. . .

“But you see, perhaps it’s something that I can help you address.”

“Your holosuite program. The one that allows me to visit the traumas of my childhood.”

“I hesitate to suggest this, remembering how you reacted the last time … but, yes, I feel it could make a difference,” the Doctor gamely admitted.

. . .

“And you don’t think that what’s in front of us has any connection to what’s past?” he asked.

“Of course it does, but not in the causal manner you’re suggesting. One model does not fit all, however admirable that model may be.” I smiled and gestured to the Doctor; but he wasn’t in the mood for a compliment.

You know Garak I’ll give you this you never give up and I think that’s beautiful.

“You have my word, Doctor. I will do whatever I possibly can.”

“I’ve never doubted that, Garak.”

I nodded, looking at the third setting. “Tell me, Doctor, why did you invite Odo today?”

“I thought since you were working together on this project….” His voice trailed off. We just looked at each other. “I think I was afraid to do this by myself,” he finally admitted.

“I appreciate your honesty, Doctor. Please assure the captain that I will pick up more codes from Odo today.”

“Thank you, Garak.” The doctor seemed enormously relieved. He gestured to our food. “I’m afraid it’s all gone cold. Why don’t we just go to the Replimat after all?”

“Excellent suggestion,” I eagerly agreed. (He wants to get out of there b/c the small space is making him claustrophobic)

I feel like this scene is more proof that Julian feels like he keeps messing this up. Thankfully his ‘I will help you if it’s the last thing I do’ instinct remains insuppressible lol. Look tho they’re talking properly again :) Julian admits this is hard for him too and that opens something back up a bit!

‘I’ve never doubted that, Garak’ has hit me in a certain kind of way too and idk why. Garak feels like he’s failing and Julian is so immediately reassuring that he knows he’s always doing his best.

- “Learn your stories, follow orders, and serve Cardassia.”

Yeah that’s about what it boils down to huh

- “You see, all you would have to do is prevent your opponent from putting the ball into your goal.”

“And I can’t use my hands?” I asked.

“No, the goalkeeper can use any part of his body,” Hans replied with the widest grin I have ever seen on a face. Children and their games, I thought.

Fdskhfkjsdhfkjsadfhkjdsafa fdsakljfdklas yeah that does seem very human. ‘Hey do you wanna play football with us?’ and GOALIE GARAK!!! And also young adult garak still being soooo…. Somber and serious lmao. I think some of Julian’s LARP nonsense vibes are going to be good for him long-term.

Also. maybe tennis one day. That’s basically what they do verbally anyway I think he could be brought around to see the fun in it if Julian’s on the other side of the net

PS: If Garak didn’t actually fuck Hans Jordt, he was definitely ready to do so. For Cardassia, you understand.

They exhibited such a childlike joy and enthusiasm as they played that I came to understand another meaning of the word “game.” What was more puzzling, however, was watching those people who played the game for no other reason than to … just play. If they or one of their teammates made a mistake, if the opposition scored … they didn’t seem to mind. Some even laughed it off. And at the end, every one actually shook hands and congratulated each other.

They’re not stupid—Maladek has dangerously underestimated them. But there’s something we don’t understand about these humans that limits our effectiveness in dealing with them.

*Attenborough Voice* and here we see the Humans, running around kicking a ball around for, they report, ‘sheer shits and giggles’. They proclaim the whole exercise ‘fun’, even when it results in no clear practical gain either in social standing or training.

- I could only make out the occasional word, and only then if it was repeated, like “yadik,” which is what a young child calls his or her father.

Cardassian term for ‘daddy’ found! Be sure to only use this information responsibly

- Hans continued to smile, and I wondered if he really believed these sentiments—or was this another example of Federation hypocrisy? These people reduced all political complexity to pious platitudes, while they constructed the greatest empire in the history of the Alpha Quadrant.

I really like Garak’s consistently suspicious approach to the Federation philosophically and in action — it’s not that he’s necessarily right about it (tho I think he occasionally has one or two points between all the paranoia), but it is what a clever cautious person on the other side of the divide would think.

“He’s not a traitor. But he needs help. I told him not to go to you, that we’d find a way….” I trailed off, translating my ignorant isolation into that of someone caught between two powerful forces. Tears came to my eyes, and I marveled that I had absolutely no emotional attachment to them.

Yeah I’m sure you have no circumstances in your life to draw from to make this convincing

But it was too late to back down; I had to rely on human prejudice.

“Cowardice and madness are unforgivable,” I went on. “They reflect flaws in the Cardassian character that can never be redeemed.” This was to a certain extent indeed true of cowardice; madness, however, was looked upon as a mysterious disease, and those who suffered were isolated and treated well. In any event, no one was killed unless the cowardice occurred in battle.

“My God,” Hans breathed, confirming, I’m sure, his belief that we were capable of any kind of atrocity. I hated his self-righteous superiority, and calculated the several moves that would send him flying into the abyss.

This thing Garak does where he tests people in ways he has deliberately set them up to fail — and then has a really disdainful hostile reaction when they do fail. Is a pattern, I feel. He does this interpersonally a lot of the time too. I guess it’s the ‘it’s illegal to say what you’re really thinking and feeling and what you need’ disease Cardassia instills in its children lmao. That and the constant lying are tools he can use to control the levels of emotional intimacy in a relation because he’s never been allowed to set actual healthy boundaries in a relationship (submit and subsume) and a person has to salvage some psychological integrity in whatever way they can, even when it can be kind of unpleasant in action.

In the same way that Julian shares the more problematic parts of his ‘I can fix them’ side with his father, this is also a trait Garak shares with Tain, but Tain does it more deliberately and less reflexively — for Garak I think it’s partially a compartmentalization/self-justification mechanism. He engineers to find a way in which a person is shitty so he gets to write them off in his head and then they can’t hurt him and hurting them can’t hurt him. (For the Dragon Age heads out there: very much the same pattern as we see Cole narrate that Iron Bull has to do to keep functioning. The Bull/Garak parallels are frightening to behold in some ways haha ‘it’s the same picture’. Traumatized pansexual old spies in exile support club) I’m not sure Tain has the emotional capacity for true attachment in the first place to need that most of the time — the only place it really seems to pop up is ironically in his relationship to Garak, which is also partially a narcissistic impulse b/c of the ‘flesh of my flesh/reflection of myself’ element of it.

- “I may put you on the enhancer.”

I said nothing. It was enough of a challenge just to return his look.

“How would you feel about that?” he asked.

“I would … submit, of course.”

Fucking horror show culture! :)

“You did well,” he said in the same flat tone. It was amazing how quickly and completely my spirits changed.

…praise kink headcanons in further development pls stand by

- “I told them that you were in over your head and that it was because you were trying to prove something to your father.” His eyes were suddenly furious, and he grabbed my neck with his free hand and held the phaser up to my head.

“What do you know? What do you know about anything?” he screamed in my face.

Ah. The dramatic irony. It burns me and my heart to a cinder. Maladek has a surprising impact considering how briefly he’s here

“Just tell him … you did the best you could.”

This is while Garak’s mental framework of fatherhood still works along Tolan rules. And it’s SO SAD b/c oh boy that ain’t gonna last long

“Come in, Elim.” Tain had his uncle smile working today.

I hate him I hate him I hate him I HATE HIM!!!

This was my first experience with Tain’s working methods. For him it was all a puzzle, and we were the separate pieces he put together at his pleasure. I had to accept that the final result—destroying the talks—was the one he wanted. But there was one question I needed to ask. Maladek’s final look haunted me still.

“What is it, Elim?” Tain asked.

“What happened to Maladek?”

“You didn’t hear?” He seemed surprised. “A terrible thing really. He killed himself.”

I didn’t move a muscle. I felt my throat begin to constrict. Tain watched me.

. . .

At least Maladek didn’t have to worry about what he would say to his father now.

OOFIE DOOFIE! ‘Better dead than a disappointment to your father’

- The previous leadership structure has been discredited; people are aware that the military was the most influential group, and their agenda was to keep the mechanism for conquest and expansion well oiled. As long as they brought back the spoils of this policy, they were able to hold on to their power. And while I think most people now understand that direct responsibility for our current circumstances has to be placed at the door of the military, there are still many who believe otherwise.

. . .

Another man from our sector, Alon Ghemor, the nephew of Tekeny Ghemor, the legate who believed that Colonel Kira was his daughter, is organizing based on the political belief that we have to rebuild a new society administered by civilian leadership, one that lives in what he calls “creative harmony” with the rest of the Quadrant. What’s interesting is that I went to school with Ghemor. I saw him at a rally that was held here (yes, my little Tarlak has become a focal point for the sector). When he appeared I yelled, “Five Lubak!” He didn’t recognize me at first, but then his eyes widened, and he answered, “Ten!” He seemed genuinely pleased to see me. Dr. Parmak, who’s an ardent supporter of Ghemor and organized the rally, was quite impressed. It’s encouraging to see that my old schoolmate has remained a decent man.

FIVE LUBAK WAS A GHEMOR AND HE’S FINE THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! :D this made me unreasonably happy haha. Fellow MLM Pythas enjoyer made it safely to adulthood

I’m not smart or well-read enough on the subject to really speak on this in a meaningful way, but I do recognize enough to be really intrigued by all the elements and tropes of British culture and literature Robinson employs in this book. From the particular boarding school from hell flavour to everyone in high positions he runs into being old school mates and a lot of the social mores and dynamics going on in the background (right down to the specific brand of emotional repression required by the culture, for all I make jokes about Julian’s stiff upper lip direct callout haha). It’s the horrible strictly class-segregated colonialist & expansionist evil empire of it all, I suppose. I feel like the Cardassians aren’t quite this Brit-coded in the show itself (though of course the horrors of fascism and imperialism resonate across many different cultures in Earth history, that isn’t all of what’s going on here), where it’s more of a ‘little bit of this, little bit of that, add some grey face paint and gul dukat’s giraffe-length neck and hey presto you’ve got some real problematic alligators on your hands’, but it does kind of work. It’s an intertextuality that is more readily available for a novel rather than a TV-show too — the way the form of the narrative creates the parallels as well as the contents within it.

But this is our problem now (and I can see you ready to pounce, Doctor): What is our new mechanism of choice? A small group of Mondrig’s supporters are attempting to intimidate people, but to engage them with organized opposition would be dangerous.

. . .

Dr. Parmak, however, is a believer in the democratic principles you and I have spent many hours arguing over (what is it about you doctors?). He and Ghemor want the people of the sector to be able to vote. It’s a new concept for us, but everyone is so weary from the war and its devastation that it’s a serious possibility. Yes, I can picture you sitting with your feet up, gloating with that self-satisfied smile of Federation enlightenment. And perhaps you’re right.

The tiny little Julian that lives in Garak’s brain is smiling brilliantly but SO smugly and Garak is just fondly like ‘yeah yeah babe fine you win this one’ about it fjsdkfhajkhkdsjahfjksa this is. Unspeakably sweet to me. Just the depth of how much Garak clearly wants Julian to be there with him (which is deliciously ironic given my reading that Julian has been getting the complete opposite read on him. augh)

- Indeed, judging from the way I was treated, I was regarded as one of Tain’s protégés (the “sons of Tain” they called us), and held to a rigorous standard. I was envied and feared, but returning to this house had revealed the true depths of my loneliness.

:’’’’’’’’’’(

- “Look … Mila. He’s a man,” he said with wonder, as if the intervening years had been mere days.

“Well, isn’t that what I’m supposed to be?” I tried to joke.

I feel like I’m on fire. Isn’t that what I’m supposed to be…

“You have nothing to apologize for, Elim. I’m the one who’s sorry.”

Ah yes. The fundamental Tolan/Tain divide. Tain would make Garak apologize for being born in a way so annoying to him personally and then not forgive him when he does. I think Tolan and Palandine are the only people who ever express to Garak they’re sorry for hurting him in this era

“Please, Father….”

“I’m not your father.”

I studied his face to make sure that he wasn’t drifting away. His eyes were clear and present; if anything, the glitter had intensified.

“Of course you are.” I spoke to him as if he were a child or a simpleton.

“Elim, there’s no time to waste. I have always loved you like a son. I wished with all my heart that you were my son. But you’re not.”

Now I felt like the child. “Then … I don’t understand. Who is?”

Tolan sighed. “Your mother is the one to tell you. I made a promise….” and his voice trailed off.

“I don’t understand,” I repeated. “Why?”

If I had a nickel for every time Garak had to beg his father to be allowed to even call him his father on his deathbed, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it says some real weird things about Garak’s life that it happened twice

“I don’t understand,” I repeated. “Why?”

“Oh, my dear Elim. The soul of a poet, and look at you … your closed face … all those secrets….” A spasm rippled through him like a sudden wind over still water. “Too many secrets … it’s like poison.” He brought his trembling, clawlike hand up to my face. “Too many secrets poison the soul.”

What a fucking microcosm of his whole life lmao. Just. Existentially confused at all times

“Now take them and go.” He closed his eyes and went completely still. I stood there a long time. Thoughts, images, feelings swirled through me, collided, lingered, dissipated—and I did nothing but observe them. I had no choice. To identify with any one of them meant certain chaos. I maintained my detachment as I repacked the red box. A part of me stood off to the side and watched the rest of me pick up the box, go over to Tolan, and press my open palm against his cold, dry forehead.

“Good-bye, Father.”

At all times Garak is sitting in the middle of his own on-fire mind like the ‘This Is Fine’ dog and that’s so relatable of him honestly

He calls Tolan ‘Father’ right up until the end of Tolan’s life. What the hell. What the hell.

- Mila seeing the red box and just like. Sighing fhskda

- “And I have a right….” She cut herself off and made a wide gesture with her arms that seemed to include everything around her. And then it hit me … and simultaneously we both heard his footsteps upstairs. A chill went through me. Of course. I went to the stairs and looked at Mother. Her face was softer, younger. For this one moment the distance between us had dissolved. The footsteps were now directly above us. My entire life had been dominated by his presence. So had Mother’s … and Tolan’s. I nodded and started up the stairs.

“Elim….” I stopped and looked back down at her. I could see how handsome and strong her face must have been when she was young.

“What, Mother?”

“Be careful,” she finally warned.

Fucked up by just how quickly he starts to understand and sympathize with her. He lashes out at her for ten seconds and then puts the pieces together and then seems to like. Start to understand. To forgive her, even. Interpersonally he is so generous with his own forgiveness even while being starved of ever getting it in return for the longest time.

This must also be one of the last times (if not THE last time) he calls her ‘Mother’ (he also calls her that when speaking to Tain right after, and Tain doesn’t mention it but surely notices, just as he notices him calling Tolan by his first name for the first time).

‘Closing the distance’ as one of the things Garak struggles most with in personal relationships and how it only ever happens for him in short glimpses…

- “I’m glad you’ve come to me here. We can … express ourselves in a way that’s not possible elsewhere.”

Indeed, the dark room with the piled scrolls and their musky smell, the artifacts and ancient wall hangings with their glyphs and symbols—was any of it Hebitian, I wondered?—was a world far removed from the cold efficiency of the Order. We were sealed away in an ageless cavern.

“Tolan and I shared a love of classic beauty, the old aesthetics that guided and revealed. He was a visionary, Elim. All those designs at Tarlak, the way the greenswards and plantings contained the monuments, never allowing them to brutalize us with death. Mothers and children are as welcome there as the guls and legates. All were based on classical designs. Oh, yes, he was a dedicated man. You were fortunate to be able to work with him.”

‘Never allowing them to brutalize us with death’ is SUCH a phrasing. What is Tolan’s complicity in dressing up the horrors of the military state to be serene and beautiful so you don’t have to think about the sources of atrocities that lie cradled beneath the tidy well-maintained graves. What’s the responsibility of beauty, if any, other than to itself. Thinking about Garak rebuilding a different kind of Tarlak from the rubble in the ‘now’ timeline. Wild shit. More his father’s son than you’ll ever understand Tain (this is a Tolan support blog ultimately he did what he could)

Also makes me desperately curious about what the fuck went down before Garak was born. Did Tain know Tolan through Mila or vice versa? How were circumstances such that Mila and Tolan were not publicly known to be siblings, presumably? Cardassians have robust public records about that sort of thing, after all, that’s what Garak’s Obsidian Order cover story boils down to lol. Full siblings but from somewhere far enough away that no one knew them in this city, half-siblings or raised apart, not actual biological siblings but grew up together, what is the thing here? Born out of wedlock and so fallen conveniently between the administrative cracks somewhere? They’re clearly not actually living together as man and wife (thank god), but I assume they were married on paper because I doubt Tain would let there be any way to suss out the truth of the situation and leave someone to guess at his own involvement. But then Tain has friends in high places and no scruples slash soul, he could probably get something suitably convincing arranged. Also such a perfect illustration of uh everything going on here that they had to risk the chance of one day being exposed for apparent incest rather than being exposed for premarital sex right now lmao. God forbid anything break with the wholesome system of traditional Cardassian family values.

This indicates Tain knows about Tolan’s Oralian way sympathies (and presumably pretended he shared them on some deeper level than as a useful tool when they were younger), even as he’ll hold it like a Damocles sword over his head the same way he does the existence of Mila the regnar and Palandine with Garak.

Also, again: the fact that Garak doesn’t have even weirder conceptions of romantic relationships is frankly a miracle good job Tolan and Mila for not fucking him up worse

I remembered one of the few times Tain had taken me outside the city, when he’d put me on a Cardassian riding hound. He’d held the bridle and walked me around the course. Then he’d given me the bridle and had walked next to me as the hound panted and slobbered. Then he’d said, “It’s time.” He’d slapped the hound hard, and it had taken off at full speed. But I’d hung on, though frightened by the sudden speed and surging power beneath me. Gradually I’d begun to adjust and learn to roll with the hound’s concussive undulations.

“I was never happier in my life,” I said out loud. “I turned around to wave to you, and I fell.”

Tain studied me for a long moment and nodded. “And you pulled yourself up and continued to ride. I remember.”

Im haunted. Happiest day of his life and he was five years old and his father gave him — the faintest little gesture of affection and pride and that got him for life. And actually I think this is the one time/the one relationship where Tain does the thing Garak does where he makes something that moves him an enemy in his head. So few things really move Tain emotionally that I don’t think he has to resort to that in such a savagely reactive way as Garak does most of the time, but I think that day with his son might have. And that’s what he’s never going to forgive him for.

ALSO how insidious is it that the one thing Tain is truly proud of Garak for — getting up every time he falls down and trying again, even when it hurts him and he should stop, because he knows Tain is watching him — is what allows him to keep Garak hooked all those years. It’s so messed up.

- Tain remained in his chair as I walked out of the room. I walked out into the night with my red box and all the way to the Tarlak Sector. I went to the children’s area and sat across from where Tolan and I had planted the Edosian orchids. At some point I opened the box and took out the mask. I studied the eyeless face and half expected it to talk to me, to explain why my life had become so complicated, so beyond my control. But it was obviously another “night person,” guarding its secrets. There were hooks that went over the ears, and I attached the mask to my face. I sat there and waited … but nothing was revealed. Finally the tears came.

I did warn you that this was going to recur and that it would break your heart. I warned you.

- contemplating the cursed line of thought that the mila/tain/tolan thing is a mirror of one way the palandine/barkan/garak inadvisable sandwich could have gone, if barkan were smarter and capable of less brute force methods long term ala tain. You think Garak could have ever broken away again if you handed him a kid and arranged it so that their future and happiness depended on his compliance and submission no matter what you ask of him, any more than Tolan could? Thank god Barkan is an idiot basically because being trapped between Tain and this theoretical clever Barkan’s setup would probably be even more fucking ruinous to Garak’s psyche than what’s already going on here haha

- I had done what Tain asked, and in the following years no one was as dedicated a night person as I was. I went everywhere they asked me to go and stayed as long as it took to complete the mission, but Tain never said a word that would indicate whether he was pleased or displeased. In fact, I saw very little of him, and even less of Mila. This distance from them, and the fact that I was rarely home, actually made my work easier. My primary contact at the Order was Limor Prang, who became even less expressive, if that were possible, as he grew older. I knew, however, that my dedication, and the absence of any kind of life outside of the Order, concerned him. On those occasions he’d tersely suggest that I visit Morfan Province or some such popular vacation area. I’d tell him I’d consider it, and accept another assignment… or tend to my orchids… or walk.

Why is this so funny. Limor Prang being like ‘dude tain idk about this kid he does his job real well but he literally has no hobbies but murder and gardening I think there might be something fundamentally wrong with him’ (*Tain voice* yeah I know and it took a lot of effort to fuck him up this badly don’t undo all my hard work please)

- The magic of these flowers has fascinated me from the moment I first saw them. The mysterious way they reveal themselves, layer by layer…. Just when you think they can’t get any more beautiful, that you can’t learn anything more, another layer of bloom surpasses the previous one and the orchid changes personality. Recently I have developed a new indulgence—clothing—and I know it’s because of the influence of the Edosian orchid. Each time I put on another well-designed and well-tailored suit in a fabric with depth and an aesthetic pattern, I feel like another person. One of my favorite duties is to choose what I will wear for each assignment.

AUGH I am just so FOND of him!!! One of his favorite parts of his murder job is picking out what outfits he’s going to wear!!!!! His queer little flower-loving weirdo clinical murder swag is unmatched

- I looked across the greensward, and there she was, the blue-black hair and the long, dark gray skirt flowing behind her as she chased a little girl who was giggling, trying to escape from her mother but knowing that the beauty of the game was that she wouldn’t. Half of me wanted to run after them, the other half wanted to be buried deep in the ground. Why her? Why now? With sudden clarity I saw my entire life as a defense against this very moment. I didn’t want to feel what I was feeling; I didn’t want this immense burden of desire. I had learned to be satisfied with the occasional brusque sexual contact that quenched desire the way food or water did, and to live without any expectation of that touch that transforms routine into adventure. Watching Palandine and her daughter defy gravity with their dance of love destroyed all my definitions, and my carefully maintained boundaries began to give way, for the first time since Bamarren, to the magic of limitless possibility. I knew at that moment that I’d never be satisfied again. Even my beloved orchids looked like weeds.

I watched like someone unable to avert his eyes from impending horror, as the mother ran down the daughter and gathered her up in her strong arms. They were both giggling, absolutely fulfilled in each other’s company, lighting up the grounds with their radiance.

This idea of love and intimacy being likened to wanting to be able to run, in the knowledge you’ll be safely caught and held in the end, in laughter and closeness… Come find me hiding in the place I know you’ll look first, huh. (also makes his dismissal of the act of play earlier take on some new implications haha)

- Lokar was the favorite of such powerful Cardassians as his father, Draban Lokar, and Procal Dukat, key members of the Civilian Assembly and Central Command respectively. In fact, his prefect on Terok Nor, the ore processing station, was Procal’s son, Skrain Dukat. Lokar’s ambition and his prospects had no limit. Nor, it seems, did his appetite for using and disposing of people… especially women. His tyrannical excesses, visited upon friend and foe alike, were well documented; but as long as his stewardship produced such successful results no one cared. Lokar has quickly become an integral part of the easy corruption I see and smell more and more at the highest levels of our system, and which gives the lie to our stern and moralistic facade. Perhaps, I thought, when I leave for Tzenketh tomorrow, I’ll erase all memory of the way back.

. . .

There were few pedestrians, since this was the time of the evening when families gathered after a long day of work and school: The good Cardassians. The sector reeked of rectitude and self-importance.

His growing disillusionment with all of this going on in the background. (I think he backslides massively on most of that once he’s in exile b/c like. Even when home sucks it’s still home and he’s not allowed there anymore. But in his second story in The Wire he says something like ‘the whole exercise suddenly seemed utterly meaningless’, and I think it’s that dawning ennui that’s peeking through here.)

- But the jostling and the noise only made me more aware of the loathsome self-pity I was feeling. I wanted my life to be arranged without need, to be totally self-sufficient, able to do my work for the Order and find fulfillment wherever I could—to accept my life as enough. But how could I, when my deepest involvement was with orchids?

That’s the thing the wire does that is most insidious and specifically most apt to trap him, I think — it allowed at least the illusion of total emotional self-sufficiency, divorcing all the happy brain chemicals from the vulnerability of needing someone or something else. (I mean it didn’t work, he was clearly incredibly miserable anyway, but that’s the underlying seductive logic of addiction for you)

The way he thinks of this as weakness, like it’s an underlying strain of embarrassing, undisciplined self-indulgence that runs through him, when really when you look at it closely it’s his soul fighting tooth and nail to continue to exist, even on scraps, even when it’s inconvenient to the people who would rather he strangle that thing in its cradle and submit himself fully. In The Wire this is what he seems to loathe about himself most of all. It feels so… furtive and shameful, like he keeps getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar for crumbs even as he’s starving, but like yeah thank god he managed to survive it on those crumbs, right. Me @ me through Garak: Hey maybe having any kind of emotional need is not in fact a mortal sin but maybe a sign that something within you is still alive and needs a gardener’s gentle hands to grow had you even considered that

- “It takes courage to come here, to look at things the way they once were. And while they can never be that way again, we can extract an essence that will nurture and amplify our own lives. We can strive to be better friends and live with ourselves and others with respect and the recognition that each soul desires to be reconnected with the source. To enslave or prey upon each other is not how we began. We were connected to each other. We did not experience hunger, deprivation, or loneliness. We were connected, and we cared and nurtured and loved. No, friends, it’s not how we began. But if we end in isolation and hate, not even a monument in Tarlak will ease the agony of our lost soul.”

. . .

By the time I reached the door I decided that it was all sentimental nonsense. Cardassia suffered a great climatic catastrophe—and if we hadn’t been strong and determined to adapt, we would have perished with the weak. And the weak must perish; otherwise the integrity of the race is compromised and we become the preyed-upon. Poor misguided Tolan. He was a good man but he was a gardener, and the worst thing he had ever had to do was kill weeds.

The patented Garak move of ‘oh this thing genuinely moved me? No it didn’t. And also I hate it’. (“I hate this place and I hate you”)

- “Your necropolis has become the subject of much conversation throughout the sector,” he replied. “Or is it a memorial to your former mentor?”

“It’s whatever people want it to be. It seems to give comfort to some. For me it meant bringing some order out of this chaos.”

In his deepest heart he remains the cemetery keeper’s son and I for one think that’s beautiful. Fic idea: what about necromancer garak au I think that could be fun

“You’ve heard of the movement afoot to bring in Federation methods for determining our new leadership structure?”

“No, I haven’t,” I replied without hesitating. I prayed that Parmak wouldn’t make one of his unannounced nocturnal visits.

*Gentle cackle* cue Parmak in his underwear trying desperately to be quiet as he climbs out the window in the background

I understand you’re working with a Dr. Parmak who’s very much involved with Ghemor.”

“I was assigned to his med unit. The situation makes for strange bedfellows,” I added.

“Of course.” I found it interesting, Doctor, that for some reason it would never occur to Madred that I would actually enjoy my relationship with Parmak. I had the feeling that he was making an assumption about me that was perhaps reinforced by my involvement with the Order and Tain.

Well well 👀👀👀(also ‘strange bedfellows’. Yeah we get it garak you’re hilarious fhdska)

It takes a man of incredible equanimity, emotional security and generosity of spirit to get it on with a guy who’s currently writing a 200+ page soul-baring letter to another man like it’s the one hope he sees among the ruins of your homeworld, but you know I think Parmak has what it takes and good for him honestly

Madras seemingly completely forgetting or completely dismissing that Garak is originally from the service class lol yes very well observed. Would not even occur to him to think that anyone not of his class and standing is a real person with agency and intelligence.

- One of my genuine pleasures was to pick someone in the street to follow. Part of it was to satisfy a desire I’ve had since Bamarren to move through places and among people undetected, a desire that increased significantly after seeing Palandine and her daughter. In the intervening years, I’d pick someone who looked like a walker and follow him or her as long as they walked. I’d make sure my presence was minimized and I’d take on the person’s physical carriage and behavior. After a while, once the physical mimicry felt complete, I’d also take on the thoughts and feelings of that person. In this way I not only felt connected to another, but I was divested of my own thoughts and emotions—especially the painful ones.

Y’know I would make fond fun of him for just how sad that is if I thought I had a fucking leg to stand on. As it is, though. I mean. Haven’t we all been there. Please tell me we’ve all been there. It would make me feel better if we’ve all been here. (Interesting furthering and explicit calling out of the Odo parallel too — taking on someone’s shape to try to understand and feel closer to them without it necessarily fulfilling the longing that prompted it)

- Of course, she had spotted me. It was almost as if I had begged her to.

“Elim!” Her voice was winded, exasperated, and amused. She was a magnificent athlete, and her long legs had very quickly caught up with me. I turned.

. . .

“But I suppose the fact that you were also at the Grounds and the Assembly building could be an extraordinary coincidence,” she said with a look that challenged me to come up with an answer. I couldn’t. I felt exposed and ashamed.

“I’m … sorry. I tried to be discreet.” There was no point in pursuing the deception.

“Elim, you forget—I studied with the same teachers. Old habits die hard,” she added with a self-deprecating laugh.

“I was not going to do it again,” I assured her.

“Let’s walk,” she suggested, noticing a couple coming out of a building.

. . .

“It reminds me of the enclosure at Bamarren,” I said. She laughed, and the old delight momentarily flashed.

“Yes! That’s why I love it here.” But her expression changed and she gave me a look that creased the lines in her face. “We treated you so terribly.”

“Please….” I started to say.

“We did, Elim. You know that. We believed… or at least I believed….” she stopped herself with a bitter laugh. I didn’t ask her what it was she had believed.

“That’s finished now,” I said.

“Is it?” she asked with a wry smile. “Well, that’s good news.”

“We were children, Palandine.”

“Yes, we were. Aspiring to be grownups.” She gave me that creased look again. “You were the grownup, Elim. We were only pretending.”

“Please…” I tried to stop her again.

“No! I lost you as a friend. I think you understand this … unless I’m very much mistaken.”

In acknowledging she did something awful to him and that she regrets hurting him for what turned out to be not even very good reasons, she has shown more care for him than basically every other person in his life but Tolan up until this point. The bar here is so low but at least she stepped over it when everyone else got busy trying to limbo dance that shit, it’s y’know something

“At first I didn’t know what to do. There you were, sitting like your regnar among those magnificent orchids. It unnerved me at the beginning, but after a while I looked forward to your being there … watching us.” As we held each other’s look I didn’t try to hide my conflicted feelings.

“Why did you decide to follow me today?” she asked. I struggled to find an answer. She nodded as if confirming something to herself. “Tell me, would you have ever… declared yourself to me if I hadn’t?”

“No,” I replied. She nodded again, this time with a sad acceptance. “You keep your own counsel now, don’t you? This must be very dangerous for you.”

“For us both. I’m sure I don’t have to remind you,” I added.

“No,” she smiled.

What a fucking… shoujo-ass bullshit thing to happen fhkdshfsa palandine looking at him sitting there among the orchids in his fancy lil clothes with his sad boy lil face and the wind was probably gently caressing his hair too. Of course he was irresistible to her at this point he’s basically a teenage girl’s secret heart’s perfect fantasy for a woman who’s been forced to grow calloused and resigned to the actual nightmare married life she is living

“Where do you work?”

“At the Hall of Records.”

“Doing what?” she asked.

“I’m a research analyst,” I answered.

“What kind of research do you analyze?” She was not going to be put off with vague answers.

“I’m a bureaucrat, Palandine. I no longer try to make my work sound interesting. The best part is that I travel a great deal to gather data on population shifts—births, deaths. Most of my work is statistical analysis—making sure the facts match the reports we receive.” I delivered this with appropriate flatness.

“Do you like it?” she asked.

“I like the travel,” I answered. Her face was now a grimace.

I’m just a little research analyst/tailor/gardener ma’am…

I could see that she was upset by what she perceived as my fall from grace. Promising young man forced by circumstances to live the life of a lonely functionary.

R U sure that’s what she’s thinking Garak. R U really underestimating her again so soon. Also she’s trying so hard to flirt with you, Julian’s obliviousness is revenge for this

“Do you still hate him?” she asked.

“Hate’s a strong word.”

“But we’re all capable of feeling it, Elim. How do you feel about me?” she asked with a direct simplicity that went through my body like electric shock. The churning I experienced earlier at the Tarlak Grounds returned. I was afraid to answer. She nodded again with resignation. This time she had completely misread my thoughts. I realized that she not only expected my hate, but accepted it. She stood up and seemed smaller.

“This wasn’t such a good idea after all, was it?” And when had she ended so many of her sentences with a question?

“What happened to you?” I asked sincerely. “You were the most confident person I’d ever known. Even when you made the decision at Bamarren there was no doubt—no apology.” Her eyes suddenly fractured and tears filled the cracks. “Do you think I followed you because I hate you?”

She couldn’t answer. She just stood there shivering. I moved to her to hold her, and she didn’t resist. She didn’t move. She let me put my arms around her and draw her vibrating body to mine. The touch, the feel of her against my body was something I had never expected to experience outside my imagination. For the first time since Bamarren, I wanted to expand my presence, to feel everything that was coming through this moment and joining us. Inexplicably, I had a sudden vision of the Guide, the woman from the meeting.

“This is our secret, Elim,” Palandine whispered.

“Yes,” I answered. “Our secret.” Another one. But it didn’t feel like it would poison me.

‘And when had she ended so many of her sentences with a question’. Oh Palandine :’(

The fact that he can try to deny his own needs for decades and then break completely the moment someone he loves needs something from him. Yeah that’s probably the big weak spot for him huh. I guess Tain was mostly gambling that his needs would always get first priority in the end

Also: Palandine saying everyone is capable of hate, and Tain claiming later on that he doesn’t hate anyone even as he’s throwing a party that Merrok is dead. Very Interesting.

Garak apparently writes poetry about Palandine during this time, btw. *through tears* he’s such a SAP.

This pattern he has of interpersonally of a sort of… hide and seek, ‘Please come find me, please track me down, I’m leaving you a trail of breadcrumbs and truth-telling lies and hope and I’ll make it so easy for you to connect the dots it’s kind of pathetic on my part but who needs dignity anyway’… it’s so clumsy and child-like and full of both longing and fear. He’s TRYING but he doesn’t know any better way to do it yet. And especially with Julian, that’s where part of the misunderstanding/misalignment between them comes in, I feel, when the uh ‘signals to play’ as it were start to get muddled. ‘He doesn’t really tell me what he’s thinking’. And then he goes and writes a whole book to Julian to let him in on exactly what he’s thinking fjdsjfak truly, a man who does not do anything by halves

Somehow it also seems kind of healing that the potential for being found without anything having to be kept secret is finally, finally on the table, if (when, I know this in my heart literally what does canon even know if it disagrees it is quite simply wrong) Julian takes him up on the invitation.

#a stitch in time #asit #elim garak #star trek #star trek ds9 #ds9 #The great ASIT first read adventure #ds9 meta #garashir #julian bashir

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footprintsinthesxnd · 1 year

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Love and War

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Synopsis: Bob Floyd never expected to fall in love during the war, especially not with a pretty, young nurse during basic training. But love works in funny ways and can their love stand the rest of time, the war and the distance that separates them. Warnings: mentions of graphic themes, war, injury, weapons, sexual images, language, 18+, smut, language Thank you @callsign-phoenix for proofreading for me

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Mourmelon- le- grand and Paris, December 1944

Bob couldn’t believe his luck when Easy Company had been given passes to Paris for some down time. They had been fighting hard and morale was low. The boys missed home, they missed their families and the death that surrounded them on a daily basis was taking its toll on everyone. Captain Nelson had approached the men at the bar on the outskirts of Mourmelon-le-grand, France where they were spending their evening relaxing after a hard day's training. It had been a relief being pulled from the front line for a while, but the training was nearly as bad as Toccoa.

A round of laughter from a table nearby drew Bob’s attention momentarily. A small smile tugged on the corners of his lips in response. It had been far too long since the men of Easy Company were surrounded by laughter, having lost their carefree attitudes. A screen of smoke filled the bar, creating a fumy and filmy haze like looking through a dirty window. Bob sat in a corner with Albert discussing the day's events whilst the cries from Private Jackson could be heard as he lost yet another game of darts to a Sergeant from Dog Company.

“The kid never learns,” Albert mumbled, taking a long swig from his beer glass, leaning back further in his chair until it was rocking on just two legs. Bob nodded in agreement, taking a drink from his own glass and allowing the weak, amber liquid to slide down his throat, bringing some ease to his nerves.

“ATTENTION!” All the men stood to attention, backs straight, hands flat to their sides.

“At ease gentlemen,” Captain Nelson spoke, his voice smooth and level. “I bring good news, you've all been granted a 4 day pass to Paris for some R and R. You've been working hard and the Colonel has decided to be generous. Now, I know that the fine men of Easy Company are always on their best behavouir,” a small smirk appeared on the Captain’s face as the room erupted with laughter. “But try to stay out of trouble, I don't want any extra paperwork. Your passes are from tomorrow so tonight enjoy yourselves boys, you've earned it.”

The room soon filled with cheers and the sound of glasses clinking together, laughter and utter joy. Bob stood quickly, grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair, without a second glance.

“Hey, where are you going? Dont leave me with this drunken rabble,” Miller whined, watching as Bob retreated through the sea of bustling bodies, all swaying drunkenly.

“I have to write to (y/n). I'll see you later,” Bob shouted back, not bothering to turn around as he headed for the exit to the bar.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To my darling (y/n),

How I’ve missed you, my love. Things here have been tough. We’ve lost a lot of good men and morale has been low. Albert is suffering, I think it’s finally taking its toll on him. I’ve tried to reach out to him but he’s become closed off and distant. In truth, I am worried for him. Anytime we lose someone I can’t help but think at least it wasn’t me. I fear I have become too used to the atrocities I have witnessed, I fear I am not the same man that you agreed to marry.

Nelson has managed to get Easy Company a 3-day pass to Paris, I believe he’s hoping to raise our spirits seeing the city but honestly, I think we will all be spending a lot of time in bed catching up on some much-needed rest. We are due to arrive in Paris next Wednesday and I would dearly love it if you could join me. I miss you so much my darling.

Please let me know your answer. I look forward to seeing you in the city of love, Doll.

Yours always

Bobby

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In truth, East Company had received a 4-day pass to Paris but Bob didn’t want (y/n) to arrive before he’d dragged a reluctant Albert around nearly every damn jeweller's store in the city looking for the perfect ring.

“What do you need my help for?” Albert had asked, bleary-eyed, his southern accent thick and raspy from sleep, as he propped himself up in his cot, watching Bob curiously.

“Because you’re already married and you’re good friends with (y/n),” Bob continued, not raising his eyes as he spoke and continued to pack his kit bag. Albert groaned, rolling back onto his side and bringing his pillow up to cover his head. “Go to bed, Bob,” he warned. Bob knew he was being a little forward considering he hadn’t officially asked her yet but he couldn’t help himself, his mind already racing with the thought of their future together.

Easy Company were catching the train to Paris, its carriages rocking precariously along the track as they neared the city. Bob’s leg bounced the whole way and Albert’s exasperated groans could be heard from time to time as Bob reeled off verbal diarrhoea about the scenery in an attempt to calm himself.

As the train pulled into the station there was a rush of shouting, as the wave of brown uniform-clad soldiers departed the train, pushing and shoving in the most unorthodox fashion. The streets of Paris were packed, bustling street stalls, soldiers crowded coffee shops, women dressed in flowing summer dresses, hair pinned to perfection and their lips dashed with red lipstick grinned at the men as they funnelled out of the station. Bob could hear a radio in the distance playing softly, the melodic tones of Vera Lynn filling his ears as the scene unfolded in front of him. Jackson disappeared into the crowd with some of the other paratroopers, heading to the nearest bar. Next to him, he could hear Albert talking to him, sounding far more bubbly than he had during the train journey.

“Floyd? Floyd, you with me?” Albert shook his shoulder a little, bringing Bob’s attention back to the brown-haired medic.

“Yeah, yeah I’m here.”

Albert grinned, “Good, because we’ve got to find your girl a ring.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Well I think it’s safe to say we’ve been to every jewellery shop in Paris,” Albert sighed, sinking onto the mattress with a sigh.

Bob didn’t reply, too busy staring down at the small diamond ring in front of him, the stone glistening in the candlelight.

“Yeah I think you’re right,” Bob replied plainly, he was barely paying attention as Albert continued to talk. The thought of (y/n) walking down the aisle wanting to spend the rest of her life with him was something Bob couldn’t even have imagined in his wildest dreams. A smile stayed firmly on his lips as he slept that night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Y/n)‘s train arrived early the following morning, she’d been nervous the entire time, leg bouncing nervously. She wrung her hands together, picking worriedly at her broken nails trying to remove any remnant of the blood that seemed to stain deeper than just skin thick. There was a feeling in her gut that said, "no," but another in her heart that said, "yes." She loved Bob deeply but she feared for him, having seen so many men suffer and lose themselves to this war.

She stepped onto the platform with the rest of the passengers, her small bag held tightly in her hand as she ducked and weaved between the people and the smoke. The sun was shining brightly despite it being December, but there was a fierce chill in the air blowing her dress around the bottom of her knees as her shoes clicked on the pavements, following the crowds from the station. Once outside her face split into a grin, spotting two paratroopers staring in their dress uniform and leaning against the brick wall. Albert Miller looked the same as ever, his brown hair neatly gelled, his chin slightly stubbly and a cigarette wobbling from the edge of his mouth as he spoke. Bob on the other hand stood taller than before, his shoulders squared, not a hair out of place. He looked so very different to the Sargent you had held in your arms while he sobbed all those nights ago in the hospital. He had grown and matured much since Aldbourne and (y/n) couldn‘t help but run towards the men. Bob turned, hearing her footsteps approaching, he hurried towards her, scooping her with ease into her arms and spun her around, grinning uncontrollably. (Y/n) squealed as Bob turned around, his face buried in the crook of her neck.

“I missed you so much,” he murmured as he set her down, not daring to let her go.

“I missed you too, Bobby,” (y/n) could feel tears leaking down her face as she pulled back to look at her fiancé, seeing his cheeks damp with tears. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Bob caressed her cheek lovingly, wiping away her tears as he placed his chapped lips ever so gently against her own.

A small cough from behind them brought the lovers‘ attention to Albert, who awkwardly stood behind them, a dusting of pink spreading across his cheeks.

“I don’t mean to interrupt this touching reunion but I’m starving,” he admitted sheepishly. You broke out into a fit of laughter, pulling away from Bob and hurrying to greet Albert also.

“Well that will never do, come Albert let us find some food.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Y/n) gazed down at the small diamond ring on her finger. It didn’t yet feel real that this was finally happening, she was marrying the love of her life, in the city of love, in the middle of the war. Although she’d already told Bob yes, he’d proposed again anyway.

“I want to do this properly,” he’d told her, having already sent a letter to her parents who had given their blessing and only asked for a picture of their daughter in a wedding dress in return. Bob had promised her the world and even though all she wanted was him, he’d made sure that everything was accounted for.

“I could only afford one ring but I promise as soon as we’re back in the States I’ll buy us both wedding bands to make it official,” he promised, his hand cupping her cheek as he kissed her more passionately in the privacy of their hotel room.

(Y/n’s) head suddenly shot up, the realisation of a vital piece of equipment for their wedding was missing.

“Bob, I have nothing to wear,” (y/n) exclaimed, the nervous feeling building in the pit of her stomach, churning mercilessly as she looked at Bob, desperate for him to find an answer.

“Fear not my Sweets,” Bob appeared from the other room revealing a simple but beautifully elegant white silk dress. (Y/n) grasped hold of the fabric, running her fingers of the delicate, hand sewed seam, the occasional stitch as a little longer or slightly more space than others, but you’d never be able to tell.

“How did you afford this, Bob? It’s real silk!” (Y/n) exclaimed, her eyes wide at the thought of Bob spending a fortune on a dress she would only wear once.

“Do not worry, my Love,” he placed his hands on her shoulder, giving her a reassuring smile. “It merely cost me two packets of smokes and a huge favour owed to Albert.”

(Y/n) looked up at him, her brow furrowed and her bottom lip caught between her teeth.

“One of the Privates still had his reserve parachute from the jump into Holland, I traded him two packets of cigarettes for it and Albert did the rest.” Bob smiled proudly at his achievement as your face morphed into one of complete shock.

“Albert Miller sowed my wedding dress for me?”

“He sure did, Darlin’ and he’s gonna be there tomorrow to give you away should you wish him to.”

“Well how can I say no to that offer,” (y/n) beamed up at her fiancé, she didn’t think she could smile anymore, her cheeks hurting from the effort but her heart swelled.

“I love you, Sergeant Floyd.”

“I love you too, soon to be Mrs Floyd.” Bob leant down to kiss his fiancée but she pulled away, placing her hands onto his chest and pushing him towards the door.

“Now go, it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding.”

“But…” Bob went to protest, but Albert was already behind him.

“Come on lover boy, you're bunking with me tonight. I'll see you in the morning, (y/n).”

“Goodnight Albert, take good care of my boy.”

“Always,” Albert smirked, dragging a reluctant Bob down the gloomy corridor to their own room, the candlelight dancing, casting shadows of the two men as they retreated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hot lips pressed a searing kiss to her neck, hands grabbing at the delicate silk fabric that adorned her body, her once neatly pinned hair was disheveled and hung loose around her shoulders.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into you my love, but don’t stop,” she gasped as Bob sunk his teeth into the sensitive skin at the base of her throat.

“You’ve gotten into me, Darlin’,” he sounded amused, which irritated her slightly. She felt so needy, desperate for him to stop his incessant teasing. His ego and self-confidence was driving her mad but she couldn’t do anything about it because she wanted him just as badly. The shy and quiet private she had met in Toccoa was long gone, the Sergeant that stood in front of her was out for blood.

“Bobby, please,” she whined, pressing her hips against his crotch and eliciting a loud moan from him.

“Darlin’, if you keep doing that I won’t be able to hold back,” he warned her. She could tell he was at the end of his tether, all she had to do was push him a little further. His lips brushed over her skin below her jaw and she had to clenched her hands in fists so she wouldn’t let out a moan. Bob’s hands traveled down her body, squeezed her backside. It took everything in her not to shake under his touch. It wasn‘t like they hadn’t been in this situation before, they had plenty of times, but this time it was different, this time they were man and wife.

Bob lifted her up and set her on the desk. He positioned himself between her legs leaning closer with each second. Their breaths mingled in a haze of lust as they looked at each other. Bob let out an animalistic groan, his pupils blown, lips moist and plump from the passionate make out session they’d had in the hallway. (Y/n) swallowed audibly. She licked her lips slowly while looking directly into his deep blue eyes. Y/N slided his jacket off his shoulders, letting it fall to the ground. Her fingers painted different shapes on his chest and abdomen, her fingers stopping once she got to the zip of his trousers.

“You aren’t gonna make me beg, are you my love?” Bob smirked, shuffling the dress up her legs and running his bare hands over her thighs. His right hand immediately went down and he gently stroked the silky fabric that was separating him from her entrance. (Y/n) squeezed her eyes tightly shut, her nails digging into the table beneath her.

“I want to hear you, darlin’. Moan for me Sweetheart.” Bob whispered against her ear, his lips moving to her neck. He placed little kisses everywhere until he stopped at one place where he sucked on her soft skin.

“God-” she breathed out and ran her hand in his hair, messing up his blond locks. Y/N felt Bob move her underwear to the side and he stroked her clit for the first time, causing her to jolt off the table.

“Stop teasing me,” she whined between her quiet moans as she leaned closer to him, head pressed into his shoulder. Bob ran his hand down her back soothingly and smiled against her skin, satisfied with himself. He began to caress her clit more frequently but not enough for her to come.

“Bob please.”

“Alright Doll, alright. I’ve got you.” Bob scooped her up into his arms, cradling her lovingly against his chest. Carrying her through to the bedroom he lay her down on the soft sheets, stroking the loose strands of hair from her face.

“I love you,” he smiled down at her, his eyes crinkling at the corners, deep blue eyes so full of love.

“I love you too,” (y/n) reached out for him, pulling him in for another gentle kiss, lips brushing barley against each other. Bob pressed his forehead against hers, their breath mingling in hot breaths.

“This was the best day of my life,” he admitted, brushing his thumb across her cheek. “My beautiful wife.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @bradshawseresinbabe @wkndwlff @a-reader-and-a-writer @callsign-phoenix @imjess-themess @averyhotchner @mayhem24-7forever @callsignmaverick5 @ssprayberrythings @smoothdogsgirl @xoxabs88xox @luckyladycreator2 @abaker74 @elenavampire21 @classyunknownlover @okiegirl24 @flashyourgreeneyesatme @airedale17 @shadowolf993 @flyboyjake @topguncultleader @callmemana @t-nd-rfoot @cherrycola27 @green-socks @alexxavicry @shadowsintheknight @floralfloyd @soulmates8 @depressed-friend-blog @mayhemmanaged @desert-fern

#bob floyd smut #robert bob floyd imagine #robert floyd x reader #robert floyd fic #Bob floyd #bob floyd imagine #ww2 au #101st airborne #ww2 fic #love and war #robert floyd x you

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thezombieprostitute · 7 months

Text

Alphas & Algorithms - Part 7 - Feelings

A/N: Continued from Part 6 . Reader is female and is described as "tall". No other descriptors.

Warnings: It is a Dystopian AU. Food scarcity, hunger, mentions of families being separated. Discussion of non-consensual relationships and unwanted pregnancy. Bullying. Please let me know if I missed any!

--Part 1-- --Part 8--

--Series Masterlist--

If there was one good thing Curtis could say about his work it’s that it gives him plenty of time and space to think. And there was much to think about. They’ve started working with the pups to get them used to the fact that he’s leaving. He knows he’s out of his depth in all of this, but he trusts his brother. His brother who still knew the hand signals from all those years ago. His brother who’s apparently been trying to hook him up with Omegas for years.

He was so lost in thought he didn’t notice Hobie until he was practically in front of him.

“Oi, Curtis! How you gettin’ on with that pet? Meetin’ some interesting people from what I’ve ‘eard.”

“What do you want, Hobie? I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

“Yeah, figured you would. Got until the security drone comes by. Ask me somefin’.”

“How much does she know?”

“Dunno,” Hobie shrugs his shoulders. “Jus’ know she knows more than she says.”

Curtis sighs at the unhelpful answer and decides to not waste time arguing. “What’s Stevie’s, Steve’s, role in all of this?”

“Couple o’ Betas on the inside are ‘elpin’ with access. Sometimes even sabotage of the Omegas. Dunno th’ specifics, don’t need to.”

“Access?”

Hobie grins, “that’s a bit much to explain for the time you got.”

Curtis nods in acquiescence, “is her Beta in on everything?”

“Yup. It’s how we know she’s not sayin’ everything she smells.” Hobie looks around, “one last question, bruv.”

“Are you sure this plan will work?”

Hobie looked Curtis in the eyes, “enough that I put my life on the line for it.”

“It isn’t just your life at risk, though.”

Hobie smiles, “th’ way we’ve got everythin’ set up, me an’ maybe two others take the fall. No one else. Definitely no one in your Pack.”

With that, Hobie runs off, giving Curtis a few seconds to get back to work before the security drone shows up.

“Jake,” Y/N yells from the kitchen. “How did the date with Hope go?”

“It went alright,” he shrugged. Y/N could smell disappointment, which for Jake smelled like rain on a summer day when you’re supposed to be outside. Then she picked up the other scent, curry and warm, strong beer. A distinctive combination that made her think of overly crowded, chaotic art fairs: everyone freely expressing whatever and however they wanted. It was a scent that made her uncomfortable just thinking about the overstimulation.

“Do you want some cookies or something to cheer you up?”

Jake chuckled, “can’t hide anything from you, huh?” Y/N smiled gently and shook her head. “Okay, the date didn’t go well. Turns out there were some serious differences of opinion but I’m hopeful they’re not deal-breakers, you know?”

Y/N hugs him, “I know.” The hug makes the scent of curry and warm beer stronger. It’s the same scent she’s smelled on people proven to be plotting against the AI. She worries for Jake, knows he’s lying about some things, but she trusts him. He’d never lie without reason and she’d be the last to speak up about the connecting scent. As her mother said, “just because you smell something doesn’t mean you have to say something.”

“How did your date go? Did he say “yes” yet? Do I get my death-by-chocolate cake?”

“Not yet,” she shook her head as she smiled. “Today’s date got a bit off track when I saw Mr. Castle in the gym.”

Jake’s face fell, “oh damn. I didn’t realize.”

“It’s okay. Steve came by and picked up her tea so I didn’t have to take Curtis on that delivery. Pretty sure his opinions on Omegas wasn’t helped by our encounter with Colin and Suzanne at the community center.” Jake gave an appreciative grimace while Y/N continued, “then again, I definitely felt Curtis’s drive to protect me through the temporary bond. It was really sweet.”

“Ooo! Intriguing! I’m definitely going to get my cake and eat it too!”

Y/N smiles, “he’s also asked to meet you.”

Jake stops and looks at her, “are you okay with that? You know both of us best. If you think it’ll be okay, I’m good to meet him.”

“He said that, since you’re the closest thing I have to a Pack, it would feel weird to not meet you. And, between the two of you, I really don’t think there’s any reason for animosity. He doesn’t seem the jealous type and you’re the supportive, not confrontational type, so I think it’ll be okay.”

“I promise to do whatever it takes to make everything super awkward!”

“You’re lucky I know you’re joking,” Y/N rolls her eyes. “I’m genuinely hoping, if you two do get along, and he does eventually agree to be my Alpha, that you’ll give him some…help? Guidance? With my in-heat care. Especially with the foods and scents.”

“Oh it’s definitely getting serious,” Jake smiles. “If you want me to share my secret family recipes, it’s gotta be a sealed deal.”

Y/N’s face heats up and she looks down, still smiling. Jake’s eyes go wide, “you really like him, don’t you?”

She nods, “he’s living up to the promise in his scent. He’s warm, smart, makes me feel safe and comfortable. I…I don’t think I’ve ever felt this kind of "want" for intimacy.”

Jake takes her hands, “I’m so happy for you! Can’t wait for you two to make it official.”

When Curtis gets home, the pups immediately rush him. Timmy and Andy grab his hands and lead him to the table while Yona gives him a serious face and says, “we need to talk.” They all sit at the table to eat but the pups are asking him questions between bites.

“Is it true that we’re moving?”

“Still ironing out the details,” Curtis says. “But I think Andrew, Tonya and I are agreed that everyone’s moving.” The adults nod.

“Why are we moving?”

Curtis sighs and thinks before answering, “because that’s how things go. Life requires us to make changes from time to time and that time for us is now.” Timmy and Yona seem okay with the answer but Andy looks to Andrew for confirmation first.

“Are you going to move with us?”

“Maybe for a little bit,” Curtis hesitates. “But, ultimately, I’ll be moving in with that Omega who’s been courting me.”

“Is it because we ate her cookies? Do we owe her for that?”

“No, not at all,” Curtis quickly asserts. “Not one bit of this is because of you. And those cookies were freely given.”

“Do you love her?”

Curtis pauses at that question. He’s been so busy thinking about his brother, his Pack, the pups, he hasn’t really thought about his actual feelings about her. The temporary bond is almost completely gone but it could still be coloring his feelings so he chooses his words carefully.

“I don’t know that it’s love, but I do know that I trust her. I feel comfortable around her. She’s honest, strong, caring, comforting, smart. She’s definitely changed my perspective on Omegas.” He stops when he hears the pups giggling and gives them a confused look.

“You were smiling,” Timmy giggled. “You do like her! You don’t smile for anyone you don’t like!”

“Thats…Okay, you’re right. I’m not much of a smiler.”

“Curtis is in love!” the kids chant for a bit while Tanya and Andrew are trying not to laugh. The teasing continues well into the night, well after they should all be asleep, but Curtis doesn’t push it. He wants to enjoy these moments while he can.

--Part 8--

Tagging @every-username-is-taken-damnit, per request.

#alpha!curtis everett #alpha!curtis everett x omega!reader #curtis everett x reader #curtis everett x tall!reader #tall reader #tall!reader #dystopia au #dystopian au

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pankowperfection · 1 year

Text

Initiation

Summary: You audition to join the band Paradise, but first you must pass Guitarist!Rudy and Drummer!Austin's initiation

Warnings: smut, slight degradation, oral (male & fem receiving), double penetration, threesome, spanking, rough sex, hair pulling, slight punishment, anal sex, 18+

A/N: Inspired by @pankhoeforlife and that ridiculously hot clip of Austin drumming

Your palms are so sweaty, butterflies swirling through your stomach as you wait in a separate room, band mates discussing how your audition went. You hoped you had chosen the right look; short leather skirt with ripped fishnet tights underneath, crop top covered by a leather jacket, combat boots on your feet. With Austin on drums, Rudy on guitar, and your vocals no other local band could compare. Visions of future concerts, adoring fans, fame and fortune flashed through your mind.

While scrolling through your phone the door opens, Austin and Rudy emerging with wide smirks on their faces. “Alright y/n, we’ve decided we want you in the band.” Rudy’s smirk grows wider, eyes darkening as they dance up your long legs. “But first, you have to complete initiation.” You push up from the couch, walking closer to face them. “Okay. What do I need to do?” Austin reaches up, tucking some hair behind your ear and you have to suppress a shudder. “Follow me,” he turns with a wink, leading you deeper into their studio.

When he opens the door to a bedroom you suck in a shaky breath, realizing quickly where this is going to go. They follow you to the middle of the room, stalking around you in circles like prey. “Want to show us what’s underneath all those clothes?” Rudy’s fingers trail up the back of your thigh to the edge of your skirt, moan threatening to spill out at the simple touch. Settling into chairs in front of you, two pairs of lust filled eyes following your every move as you start to undress. “Leave the panties,” Rudy commands, hand under his chin as he appraises your body. By now the tents in their pants are obvious, each man silently adjusting themselves beneath the denim.

“Come here,” Austin orders. You go to take a step forward and immediately get reprimanded. “No baby. Crawl.” Swallowing your pride you drop to your knees, arching your back and slowly making your way over to rest between them. Austin traces the outline of your lips with one of his drum sticks, your tongue eagerly darting out to taste the cool wood. “Suck baby, get it nice and wet.” You eagerly oblige, wrapping your lips around the length and imitating your best fellatio. Your eyes fall shut, moan vibrating through your chest as Rudy watches from the chair in the corner. You force your eyes open, meeting the men’s gazes one at a time as you hollow your cheeks, swirling your tongue around the shaft. Drool drips down your chin onto your bare breasts, nipples hardening and begging for attention.

“Now take out our cocks.” With shaky hands you undo each button, pulling the zippers down and reaching inside. You gasp at how large they are, stroking each man over his boxers before finally pulling them free. Never having done this before you drool at the thought of having them both at the same time. “Now let us see what else that mouth can do besides sing.” Austin’s hands tangle into your hair, pulling you over towards his lap. His free hand wraps around his length, forcing it between your lips. His motions are brutal, repeatedly ramming into the back of your throat and moaning loudly every time you gag.

You try to keep your rhythm as your hand pleasures Rudy, his deep blue eyes unwavering while you choke on his friend. “Shit, you’re a pro baby. Made to swallow our cocks.” Suddenly he pulls you all the way down, thighs flexing as he releases deep into your throat. He lets you go and you sputter while gasping for breath, mascara ruined by your tears.

“That’s enough,” Rudy commands, standing and walking over to the bed. He instructs you to lie on your back, head dangling off the edge of the mattress. Austin drags the drum stick down the exposed skin of your neck, goosebumps spreading over your skin as he continues south, teasing around the edges of your breasts before tracing your nipples. As the stick goes lower you can’t help but moan, shuddering when the smooth surface is dragged through your soaked folds.

“Fuck,” you cry out, Rudy taking the chance to shove his massive length into your mouth. With each thrust against your tongue, Austin continues his teasing, nudging your clit but never providing enough contact to make you cum. Just when you think you can’t take anymore, back of your throat raw and struggling to breathe, Rudy withdraws. “I wanna cum in that sweet pussy. But first, I need to taste it.”

They switch positions, Austin coming to steal your breath away with a passionate kiss while Rudy settles between your legs. The cool metal of his rings adds to the sensations of his calloused fingertips ghosting over your thighs. “Shit sweetheart, you’re soaked.” His fingers brush over your folds and you arch into his touch, earning you a smack to your breast by Austin, welt already forming. “Be a good girl and keep still, or you won’t get to cum.”

Rudy’s fingers find your clit, rubbing slow circles that have you struggling to control your movements. “Rudy please,” you beg, chest heaving as Austin’s mouth wraps around your left nipple. He looks up from between your thighs and you could almost cum from the sight alone. “Tell me what you want cupcake.” The nickname makes your walls clench around nothing, desperate for relief. “I want your tongue and those talented fingers. Make me feel good, please.”

No sooner are the words out of your mouth before his tongue is buried deep inside of you. “Oh my fucking god,” you belt, unable to control the strings of curses and moans falling from your lips. “Does she taste as sweet as she looks?” Austin asks, rolling your nipples between his fingers and nibbling his way up your neck. “Even better,” Rudy murmurs against your pussy, pulling you closer by the backs of your thighs and focusing his tongue on your clit. His ringed fingers easily slide inside, two quickly turning to three as he curls them expertly. Your whole body feels like it's on fire, nerve endings overloaded as you feel your orgasm building.

Austin’s lips urgently meet yours, swirling against your own in a similar motion to Rudy’s tongue on your bundle of nerves. You cum hard, body trembling as they both work you through it. Rudy crawls up the bed to Austin, resting on their knees on either side of your face. “You want a taste Aus?” He nods eagerly, pulling Rudy in for a passionate kiss that only makes you wetter. They break apart breathless, cock’s at full attention once again. “Shit, she does taste good.”

You take advantage of their distraction, kissing your way up Rudy’s abs before repeating on Austin. Now they are fully focused on you, Rudy pressing into your front and Austin into your back. “Boys, I need you to fuck me.” Austin places open mouthed kisses down your neck to your shoulder while Rudy grasps your chin, crashing his lips to yours. Their hands roam over your curves, caressing your breasts and your ass. The contrast between Rudy’s rough fingers and Austin’s smooth skin makes you shiver, your nails leaving indents in their skin as you try to pull them closer.

“Since you got to taste her first, I get to fuck her,” Austin suggests as he lays down on the bed, urging you to hover over him. You straddle his waist, lining up his thick erection before slowly sinking down. “God you’re so big,” you groan, pausing when he’s fully inside of you to adjust. “That’s it sweetheart. Ride me, make yourself feel good.”

You feel Rudy at your back, hands on your hips and helping you bounce over Austin. His length settles between your cheeks, teasing what is to come as his fingers find your clit once again. Austin’s moans and curses fill the room, his abs flexing as he starts to meet your thrusts. Rudy forces you to slow down, bending you over Austin to expose your ass to him. You hear him spit then feel it drop down between your cheeks, bracing yourself for what is to come. “Relax cupcake, focus on Austin.”

Rudy’s cock nudges your other entrance and Austin starts to kiss you, sweeping his tongue into your mouth to distract you as Rudy pushes inside. You can’t help the gasp that escapes at the fullness of two cocks inside you, fighting to stay relaxed as Rudy buries himself all the way inside. His hands roughly grip your hips, steadying himself so he doesn’t hurt you. “Ready baby?” Austin asks, hands stroking softly down your back. “Yes, please move.”

Rudy withdraws first, moving slowly and groaning at how tightly you are wrapped around him. “Shit, you’re gonna ruin my reputation squeezing me like that,” he says through gritted teeth. As he pushes back in Austin pulls out, setting a rhythm between them so that you are always full. They build up to a fast tempo, your body helplessly trapped between them as they fuck you sensless. Rudy wraps a hand into your hair, pulling your back into an arch and making your scalp burn as you cry out.

Austin’s hands find your nipples, twisting them in a way that hurts but also makes your clit pulse with need. “Oh god, you both feel so good.” Austin smirks, twisting harder and moaning loudly when you clench around him. “Fuck sweetheart, taking us so well.” Rudy lands a hard spank to your ass and your orgasm washes over with no warning, vision going black as you scream for them. You cause a chain reaction, Ausin cursing before filling you with his cum. Rudy gives a few final thrusts, hips stilling as he fills your ass. Your sweat and other body fluids mingle together, chests heaving as you all recover. “Well, guess you’re in the band now,” Austin smiles, both of them leading you to the bathroom to get cleaned up.

@adventuresinobx @starkeyobx @paradisehamilton @ailee-celeste @pankhoeforlife @outerbankspov @houseofperfecttaste @drewbooooo @maybankslover @maybanks-luver @blueicequeen19 @toystory2wasjustokay @I-always-come-back-xoxo @onmykneesforrafe @penny4yourthoughts @strokesofstokes @rosetintednorth

#austin north x reader #austin north smut #austin north fanfiction #austin north imagine #aussie #rudy pankow fanfiction #rudy pankow x reader #rudy pankow imagine #rudy pankow smut #rudy x reader #rudy pankow #rudeth #rudy x austin x reader #outer banks cast #outer banks fanfiction

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blueboxesandtrafficcones · 4 months

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So This is Love

Day 15 of 2019′s 31 Days of Ficmas Thanks to @doctorroseprompts for the prompt list! Prompt: love Rating: M (nsfw) Pairing: 10xRose (AU) Summary: A Cosier With You fic. A year after taking their relationship from mutual pining to madly in love, Rose and James discuss next steps. Based on this: https://www.tumblr.com/memeuplift/728565011847544832 2019 31 Days of Ficmas masterlist Cosier With You Masterlist AO3

“So, is this our first or second Christmas together?" Rose asked from her spot on the couch, curled beneath a soft throw with a mug of cocoa, relaxing after hanging most of the ornaments on his tree and enjoying the Winter Wonderland they’d transformed his flat into.

Stretching to put the star on top of the tree, James shot her a look. “When’s our anniversary?”

“Good question.” She licked her lips, focusing on the sliver of skin revealed as his shirt rode up. “I mean, Christmas Eve, I guess. First date, said I love you, shagged. Pretty much hit all the benchmarks on day one, right?”

“Fair.” He stepped back from the tree towards her as he studied it, hands on his hips. “What d’you think, is it good?”

She took a snap of him with her mobile, enchanted with the way the lights of the tree framed him before focusing on his question. “Yeah, good from here.”

“Good.” He threw himself onto the couch next to her, laughing when she yelped. “As for the anniversary question… we could say the twentieth, as that’s when I actually asked you out. Gives it a little breathing room from the holiday.” Stealing a sip of her cocoa, he waggled his eyebrows.

“It’s only December 3rd, so we’ve got some time to decide,” Rose shrugged, smiling and wiping away a bit of whipped cream that stuck to his lip. With the fire crackling merrily, and most of the light coming from it and the tree, it was a properly cozy and romantic setting. “Maybe the twentieth is a good idea – we’d never be able to celebrate day-of if we said Christmas Eve.”

They met in the middle for a sweet kiss, and she liked how he tasted of peppermint and chocolate.

“Just let me know what you prefer,” he murmured when they separated. “So I can plan accordingly. For now, though, how’s takeaway sound?”

“Perfect. Your turn to pay, though.”

James made a face but acquiesced, passing over his mobile with doordash already open. “Pizza or curry?”

“Mhmm… pizza,” she quickly found their favorite place, ordering their usual. “I like that we can just say ‘pizza’ and we already know exactly what to order and from where.”

“Me too- oh, can you add on extra cheesy bread?”

Grinning Rose just turned the screen to face him, showing she’d already done just that. “Get out of my head.”

He laughed, digging his fingers into her side and making her squeal. “C’mere.”

She fell into him, still holding the mobile. “Hang on, let me make sure you got the confirmation – I’m still annoyed about last time, that it didn’t go through. Nothing worse than waiting on food that’s not coming.” They looked at the screen together as she navigated to his email, clicking somewhat blindly on the first message with a subject of Order Confirmation.

And then froze when instead of the expected receipt, a generic graphic of a diamond ring turning came up under a banner reading Congratulations, your order has shipped!

Holy shit. That’s an engagement ring.

James had gone very still next to her; she wasn’t sure he was even breathing, and in a split-second decision, she backed out to his inbox and found the right email.

“Looks like forty minutes until delivery,” she commented, tone deliberately light. “We should try to straighten up before that – it looks like a Christmas bomb went off in here.”

“Okay.”

She pressed her lips to his cheek, lingering a moment too long to be a peck, before getting to work.

They managed to get the unused lights back into the storage bins before catching each other’s eye, and a shared smile quickly grew into giggles until she was leaning against him.

“Why are we laughing?” he asked, chuckling all the while, and she started dumping the extra decorations on top of the lights.

“I don’t know.”

She looked up to find him smiling widely. “But you do know.”

Rose beamed back at him, tears pricking at her eyes as they just looked at each other with soft smiles.

The doorbell interrupted their moony eyes, James breaking for the door while Rose set the table, and they were soon seated quietly side by side, pressed together from ankle to hip with the food arrayed in front of them.

“So…” Rose focused on separating her slice from the rest of the pizza, carefully pulling apart the stubborn bits of cheese. “Is it here?”

He went still for a moment, before wiping his mouth. “Yep.”

“Is it hidden?” She looked over at him, nibbling on the end of the slice, heart thumping as he nodded, holding her gaze. “Can we play hot or cold with it?”

“Absolutely fucking not,” he said firmly, making her laugh. “Do- should- I mean… is this something we need to… have a conversation about?”

Rose gave an overexaggerated shrug. “I mean, I haven’t run screaming…” she teased, nudging him with her elbow. “Well, where should my expectations be? Is this part of the anniversary conversation?”

He shifted in his chair, an uncomfortable expression on his face, making her heart fall slightly. “Uh, to be perfectly honest, I don’t know if we’re there yet.”

Her brow furrowed, back straightening as she put the pizza down. “You bought the ring, have it hidden as we speak, but you don’t know if we’re there yet?” It took effort to keep her tone even. “I mean, I don’t necessarily disagree, but… you bought the ring.”

“Rose-” James pushed back from the table a bit, turning to face her and taking her hand. “That’s where this is going. For me, at least, it has from the beginning. I want to be ready for when we’re ready, but… we don’t even live together yet. And… I was gonna ask you at Christmas, but to be honest, that’s all I was going to ask you. To move in with me. Or I move in with you. Or we move in together in a brand-new place, if that’s what you want.” He exhaled. “To me, we’re still laying the foundation. But I’ve got designs clear up to the sky.”

“Me too,” she said softly, caressing his face with her free hand, memorizing it in this moment. “I want everything with you, and this last year has only confirmed that. I want to savor these steps, and when you ask me, I’m going to say yes. You know that, don’t you?”

He nodded, leaning in for a kiss but hesitating at the last moment. “When I ask you to move in, or-”

“Both.” Sliding her hand around his neck she pulled him close, and they kissed softly, broken by shared giggles.

When they finally pulled apart and returned to their now-cold pizza, Rose grinned at him. “I think it’s so cool that it’s here. It’s literally in the flat with us and I have no idea where. Does feel a little unfair that I don’t get to wear it, though,” she stuck out her bottom lip in an exaggerated pout. “Don’t you want me to try it on at least, make sure it fits?”

“Who says you haven’t?” he challenged, taking a long sip of his wine. “You sleep like the dead, and it’s been here for a few weeks. Can you be sure it hasn’t been on your finger, yet?”

The idea was thrilling, and her cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling so much. “You got any proof?”

He just shrugged, eyes mischievous. “You know, when you first found that email I was so mad that the surprise is ruined, but thinking about it, this could be a lot of fun. You’ll never know if it’s the moment or not. Every time I take your hand, or stop to tie my shoe, or tell you I love you… just for a second, you won’t know if it’s the moment or not. I think I’m going to enjoy this.”

“So you want to spend the holidays waging psychological warfare on me?” she asked, amused. “Nice.”

“Warfare? No. The occasional skirmish… maybe,” he teased. “And since you already know I’m not going to ask for real yet, it would be more accurate to say it was against our families, wouldn’t you?”

Rose’s eyebrows shot up. “Are you planning on fake-proposing to me in front of either of our families? I don’t think that’s going to end well for you. Your Mum and Donna are still extremely salty that you lied to them about us, and God help you if you toy with my mum like that, because I certainly won’t.”

She loved many things about his face, but the expression he wore now (stumped befuddlement) only came when she outfoxed him and was a particular favorite of hers. It was also extremely kissable, so she gave into the urge, leaning forward to nip at his pouting bottom lip, smiling against his mouth when he kissed back.

As the food cooled on the plates the heat between them grew until she was in his lap, the desire for food replaced by a need for a different kind of sustenance until he stood carefully, her legs wrapping around him as he carried her to bed.

Flopping back onto the mattress she watched with interest as he pulled his shirt off, before glancing around the room. “Is it in here?”

“Is what here?” James started on his belt, before pausing. “I told you, we’re not doing hot and cold, or anything similar. And if I’m honest – playing cat and mouse about this is not going to encourage me to give it to you faster. Possibly the opposite.”

Her offense at the implication only lasted a moment. “I’m only teasing,” Rose said softly, coming up on her knees to meet him at the end of the bed. “I’m excited and anxious, but there’s no pressure. I won’t go digging, I promise.”

His eyes narrowed as they held each other’s gaze. “Promise?”

“Cross my heart. In fact, if there’s anywhere I should stay away from, you could tell me.”

Her innocent look didn’t fool him; he just rolled his eyes and reached for the hem of her dress, tugging it up. “Note to self, rent a safety deposit box in the morning.”

“No, no,” she protested once the dress was over her head, resting her hands on his chest. “I triple promise that I won’t go looking. But if you get to pretend you’re going to propose, I get to pretend I’m gonna dig through your drawers at every possible opportunity. ‘S only fair.”

“I can live with that,” he agreed with a shrug. “Really, you’d only be ruining it for yourself, after all. But if you want to dig through drawers, I have a place you can start,” he guided her hands towards the zip of his jeans.

“Funny man,” she murmured, leaning up to kiss him as she freed him from the heavy fabric, pushing the jeans and his boxers down over his hips.

They didn’t need words after that.

Limbs deliciously heavy Rose relaxed into the mattress, pleasure still humming through her veins as James panted into her neck.

“Yes.”

“Hmm?” She trailed her fingernails along his spine, delighting in the way he shivered against her at the touch.

He raised his head to meet her gaze, eyes still heavy-lidded. “Yes, it’s in this room.”

A giddy smile spread across her face, and they giggled together for a moment before she stopped abruptly.

“Just, do me one favor.”

“Name it.” He dipped his head to press kisses along her collar bone and top of her breasts.

“Oi.” She guided his chin up so their eyes met again. “I don’t need a fancy proposal. I don’t need the Eiffel Tower at midnight, or something overly orchestrated. I just want it to be you, and me, and genuine. My only requirement is – if we took a picture of us three seconds after you ask and I say yes, I want to be able to show that picture to people.”

James’ brow furrowed. “Huh?”

“I mean, don’t ask me in bed. Or when we’re in pajamas and look a mess. Or immediately before, during, or after sex. It doesn’t have to picture perfect, but when people ask how’d he pop the question, I want to be able to tell the story without blushing. I don’t care if it’s… I dunno, out on a walk, or some great romantic jaunt that you’ve planned. I just care that you’re ready to ask, and that we’re fully dressed.”

He pushed himself upright and she followed so they were sitting almost nose to nose, James back on his haunches between her legs. “I’m not sure how to feel about your standards being so low,” he said dryly. “Look, I can’t promise the question won’t slip out occasionally- I’m actually really proud of myself that it hasn’t yet- but I can promise that when I give you the ring, it will be under respectable circumstances.”

“You can ask me as many times as you like,” she grinned, cupping his cheek with her palm. “Under any circumstances. How about this – when it’s the real one, you take a knee. If you ask and you’re not on one knee, I’ll know not to expect a ring – this way there’s no misunderstandings about whether it’s it or not.”

“I can do that.” His eyes were shining, and he pushed her hair back behind her ears before moving back over her, forcing her onto her back again. One hand bracing himself he slid the other down her side to her knee, guiding it up to wrap around her hip. “Rose?”

“Yeah?” She didn’t dare close her eyes but savored his touch until he looked up at her again.

“Will you marry me?”

They went still, the words hanging in the air as tears pricked at her eyes. “Yes.”

“Yeah?”

“Of course.” They met in a bruising kiss, joyous laughter forcing them apart.

“God, that felt good to say,” he sighed, beaming down at her. “I’ve been holding that in for… a while.”

She matched his grin, running her hands over his shoulders and arms. “It was good to hear, and better to answer. I’m looking forward to the real thing.”

“Me too.”

They shared another lingering kiss, instinct taking over as their bodies began to move, wiping away all thoughts in Rose’s head but one.

I love this man, and can’t wait to marry him.

#bbatcfic #doctorroseprompts #31 days of ficmas #ficandchips #doctor who #10xRose #10!AUxRose #10th Doctor #Rose Tyler #So This is Love #Cosier With You

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superthatguy62 · 10 months

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FFIII Fun Facts of the Whatever: Dev Interview Edition (Part 2)

When the DS version of the Final Fantasy III remake was released in Japan, Square-Enix released an official strategy guide to go with it. This strategy guide went into quite a lot of detail about the game, giving tips on how to use jobs, showing off unusual team compositions and even discussing some mechanics that may not be clear in the game itself.

I’ll talk about that stuff later, but the most interesting aspect is an interview with the game staff at the back of the manual, touching upon various aspects of the game.

Thanks to Alex Highsmith of Shmupulations, part of this interview has been translated. I only had enough for an excerpt, but this excerpt is very interesting: In it, Kazuhiko Aoki (Battle Supervisor) and Hiroaki Yabuta (Main Planner) discuss the battle system for III, several of the jobs, a few ideas that didn’t make it into the final game and a rather surprising fact: A PVP mode was considered.

--Please tell us about your overall concept for the battle system of FF3DS.

Aoki: The thing we were always aiming for, throughout the development, was making sure that the battle system would be easy to pick up and enjoy, even if you knew nothing about it or hadn't played the Famicom version. That's why we decided to change some of the finer details from the original. It should still give players that overall "Ah, it's FFIII" feeling, though. I hope older players will enjoy comparing their old memories of how the game progressed, which jobs were good, and so forth with the new game.

Yabuta: For me, I didn't want this to be one of those RPGs where you just spam Fight and breeze your way through it. That's why we changed many enemies' attributes and attacks. During the development, we actually made the enemies TOO strong, and after a single normal battle your party would be practically dead. (laughs)

Aoki: There's no thrill to the battles if you're just mindlessly pressing the A button the whole time. We instead wanted a system that forced characters to make tense choices, one where your characters could easily die if you aren't paying attention.

--It sounds like balancing that system was a big challenge. Compared to the Famicom, there's fewer monsters in each battle... was this also part of that balancing?

Yabuta: When you go 3D, the battles always get a little bit longer. We calculated how often we wanted players in a given dungeon to get close to death, and adjusted the number of enemies, their strength, and the encounter rate accordingly.

Aoki: Speaking of balancing, Aoki kept adjusting the strength of the final form of the Cloud of Darkness all the way to the very end of the development, moments before the deadline.

--Now I'd like to ask you about the job system. Let's start with Suppin [Freelancer].

Yabuta: Since we've added personalities for the four characters, it felt odd to suddenly start the game and see that everyone already had the "Onion Knight" class. So we brainstormed some new names, but it was surprising how quickly everyone settled on "suppin." (laughs) Suppin first appeared in FFV, as the most powerful class that could equip anything, but we've made them a little weaker for FFIII. With everyone in their basic default state like this, players would be able to better enjoy the prologue... that was our concept.

--Did you know from the beginning that you would split the Onion Knight and Suppin in this way?

Yabuta: We had planned to add some special bonus features as apart of the new Wi-Fi functions. At that point we already had separate designs for Suppin and Onion Knight drawn up, so we decided to make the Onion Knight a hidden job, something you'd have to dig a little past the surface to find. Rather than a brand new job, we thought it might make players happier to add the most popular job from the original FF3 as a hidden job.

--You acquire the Thief job earlier now too, and with their attack power and Steal command upgraded, they're a lot more usable.

Suzuki: There weren't many monsters in the Famicom version you could steal from (or items to steal), and we thought players who are used to modern games wouldn't be comfortable with that. So we gave players the Thief earlier and added more items so players could enjoy using Steal more. Also, the number of attacks you get in FF3DS is based on the weight of your equipment, not your speed stat, so you get to take more actions if you wear light equipment. The Thief excels on both these points so he can play a much more active role in battle.

--In contrast, you get the Karate-ka [Black Belt] later now.

Yabuta: The biggest reason for that was to maintain the balance of the number of jobs you get. The water crystal has a lot of fighter-type jobs. But strategically we couldn't afford to hold back the Dark Knight and Dragoon classes. So it was like, who can we put later... and that was Black Belt. My apologies to fans of this class from the Famicom version.

--The Ranger could use white magic in the original, but you've replaced that with Barrage.

Yabuta: Barrage didn't appear until FFV, but it's now one of the Final Fantasy serie's most well-known, signature abilities. Attacking four times feels great--and my personal love for that ability was a part of it too. (laughs) As for the white magic, we were worried that if there were too many jobs that could use magic, it would make the Ranger's role kind of confusing. We wanted him to be focused on fighting.

--How about the Sage?

Suzuki: Compared to the original we lowered their power a lot, so much so that I was wondering if it's OK. Our image for them was a balance between the Devout, Magus, and Evoker jobs.

--Next, I wanted to ask about the Scholar.

Suzuki: The Scholar works very well with the Thief. The Scholar can use the items the Thief steals 2x as effectively, while being able to discern enemy weakpoints too. He uses healing items like Hi-Potions twice as effectively too, so if you have a Scholar you don't necessarily need a White Mage. That versatility made him very popular with our staff, too.

Yabuta: The problem is whether players will realize these things. We definitely don't advertise the 2x item effectiveness very much in game. But I think once players notice it they will think the Scholar is awesome.

--Next up is the Viking, who I feel has been hugely improved from the original.

Suzuki: In the Famicom version, the Viking was one of those jobs that didn't really stand out. Since they don't get a lot of hits--or rather, they are a low speed character--we decided to compensate for that by making the Viking focused on single, one-shot power attacks. And the biggest change, of course, was adding the Provoke command. If you make use of that, the battles become quite easy.

Yabuta: It's easy for players to get into a habit of just spamming Fight for every battle, so Provoke adds a nice accent to that. It was a great addition for that reason, I think.

--It gives you more of a chance to combo attacks with your allies.

Aoki: Yeah. In the Famicom version he was more of a solo fighter, but this we're hoping players will think of the various combinations they could pull off with the Viking and other characters.

--Moving on, I wanted to ask about Yabuta's favorite job, the Evoker.

Yabuta: This job gave us a lot of trouble. At first, we considered letting the player choose the summoning effect (black or white), but ultimately we reverted to the original way of having it be completely random. We're hoping players will actually enjoy the slight unexpectedness of it.

Shiva, Ramuh, Titan, and Ifrit are about equal strength, and if you can figure out the right one for the right circumstance, then Evoker can be very strong. On bosses, Titan might be best for the consistent damage, while for normal enemies, Shiva is a good choice for the sleep or magic damage... if players realize those distinctions I think they'll have a lot of fun with it.

--Like the abandoned "at-will" Evoker ability you just mentioned, were there any other abilities you dropped during the development?

Yabuta: There were tons. (laughs) There was an ability called "tsuresari jump" [abduction jump] for the Dragoon.

--What was that like?

Yabuta: The Dragoon would grab the enemy, take them into the air with them, and then slam them down on the ground. Another idea we had, actually, was to have PvP battles using the Wi-Fi connection. And for awhile we had a number of abilities related to that feature, but ultimately we felt uncomfortable about it. "Should Luneth and his friends really be fighting and hitting each other...?" So unfortunately, we decided to put that off for another game in the future.

Thanks once again to Alex Highsmith for translating this. Shmupulations is a site that hosts translated video game interviews from various sources, including several Final Fantasy games, such as VI and Tactics.

#Final Fantasy #Final Fantasy III #FF3 #FFIII #Unused #Interview #Onion Knight #Freelancer #Thief #Black Belt #Ranger #Sage #Scholar #Viking #Evoker #Game Design

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will-noble-owns-my-ass · 18 days

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“We’re Just Friends” (“Or Are You More?”) II || Iain x Amy

(Not my GIF)

Iain kicked himself mentally, he’d nearly slipped up. He was sure Zoe and Max had picked up on it.

“Yeah! Let’s go.” He followed her out, sure that to those around him he looked like a puppy following after his owner. As they got to his car he got in, letting out a sigh “Sorry love.”

She turned to him from the passenger seat “Don’t worry about it love. We’ll tell them soon anyway. Will knows. Zoe and Max have been on the track of figuring it out. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if they did.. would it?”

“No. It wouldn’t be. But, you want to keep it hidden from Cal don’t you?”

“Well I did. But odds are if Max knows about it, then Big Mac and Noel will know. Which means it won’t be long until Cal finds out about it anyway. So the way I see it we might as well get ahead of it.”

“Fair point.” He laughed “You wanna call in the order? That way by the time we get to yours, it’ll at least be on the way.”

She nodded and pulled out her phone to order the food as he drove towards her house “What movie were you thinking?”

“Why don’t you pick?”

“What about Ghostbusters?”

“Oh that’s a good one. Okay.”

“Cool. Are ye staying the night?”

He laughed softly “What? And drive you in in the morning? I’m not sure like.” He acted as if he were this about it “Amy. Why do you think I have my bag? Course I’ll stay if you want me to”

“I’d love you too”

“Alright then”

“You know? You stay over quite a lot. We don’t drive in separately nearly as much as we should.”

He laughed softly “What are you saying Amy?”

“Just that… If Max has worked out we’re together. He’s probably worked out that you drive me to and from work most days.”

“Ah well.” He laughed “let him believe what he wants”

“Are you sure?”

“I’d love to live with you. But it’s your choice.”

“Okay, but which one of us’ll move?”

“Amy. Don’t panic.” He said gently “We don’t have to talk about it now. We can just have our date and talk about it later okay? Relax. It’ll be okay. You hear me?”

“I do hear you, and I’d love to have a conversation about it.” She said softly getting out of his car ad he cut the engine. She grabbed her bag and pulled her keys from her pocket. “You coming?” She grinned moving toward the door.

He grabbed his bag and followed her to the door quickly.

He followed her through it and stood in the hallway as she went upstairs. “I’m gonna go change. You wait for the food get drinks and come up? Then I’ll set up the film while you get changed?”

He nodded cracking a smile he knew she couldn’t see “Sounds perfect, shall I stick on the heat?” He asked as he went about making the drinks “No I think we should be good. But bring it up on the standing bed tray would you?”

“Yeah sure.”

He grabbed it from the cupboard putting the drinks on it. In the 20 minutes it took for the food to arrive he went into his bag, pulled out and arranged on the tray the popcorn, Sour Patch Kids and other snacks he had brought for the evening.

When the food arrived he thanked the driver and collected it all on the tray. Securing his bag on his shoulder, he picked up the tray and slowly made his way up the stairs.

He walked into her bedroom and put the tray down. Amy’s eyes lighting up at the sight of the food. He laughed and made his way into her bathroom to change leaving his bag in the corner of her room.

“You know?” She called as he got changed “Even if ye don’t move in, or I don’t move in with ye— depending on what we decide…”

“Amz, yis are rambling.”

“Sorry— uh, I can clear you a drawer.”

“You want to?”

“Iain. We’ve literally just been discussing moving in together. Yes. I would like to clear you a drawer.” She laughed softly.

He came out of the bathroom leaning against the door jamb “Yes. Please Amy, clear me a drawer.”

“I shall do it later. Now come here I want to watch this film.”

He grinned slightly “Ah you bossy mare.”

“Shut it. You love me. Come here.”

He kissed her cheek as he got into the bed and as started making the plates and she started the film “Yeah. I do love you.”

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added❤️)

@goodboybadrep-ooc

#iain dean #amy knight #casualty story

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bunnyscar · 2 months

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The Siliven's Request: Part 30

The plan Manas presented to the group of Silivens was risky. At night, they would sneak into the palace gardens and find a way into the palace, knocking out any guards they might find on the way. It was fortunate one of the Silivens had sleep magic, which would be handy for sneaking in. Then they would separate: Manas, Pim, and Kelsin would make their way to the throne room, while the others would slow down any guards that might chase them. The most difficult part, however, would be subduing the queen.

“I do not want to kill her, if at all possible. But then again, I’m not sure there is any way to convince her to step down without use of force,” Manas sighed.

“Indeed. And the Name Calling Art will make it all the more difficult. If she uses Manas’ name and commands him to kill everyone, it’s over,” Kelsin said.

“What if just one person confronted her, someone whose name she doesn’t know? Like me, I’m sure she wouldn’t know my name,” Pim suggested.

Manas said doubtfully, “Perhaps, but it would still be dangerous to go alone. The Name Calling Art isn’t her only weapon.”

“Then there really isn’t any way except by force,” the Overseer murmured.

“There is a way,” Sara suddenly spoke. They turned to her in surprise. “The queen will have no way of knowing my name, not even if she had spies watching Manas and me. Manas himself doesn't know my real name.” Ignoring the startled looks the others gave her, she gazed intently at Manas and said, “Let me go with you to the throne room. The queen won’t be able to use her magic on me, even if she tries. And...I have a plan if she tries to use it on you or others.”

“That’s very dangerous, Sara. Even without her magic, my mother is not one to be trifled with,” Manas said slowly.

“And it’s all right for you to go into danger and not me?” Sara said somewhat sharply. She shook her head. “I’d rather not just sit around and worry while you all go off and potentially lose your lives. Besides, what other option do we have? How else are you going to thwart the Name Calling Art?”

Manas considered her silently for a moment. With a sigh, he finally said, “Very well. But the moment it gets too dangerous, you’ll get out of there, okay?” Sara smiled and nodded.

“Erm, I think we’re missing something. Just how is Sara going to stop the queen?” the Overseer asked in confusion.

Manas and Sara glanced at each other. Sara said, “I’m sorry to keep it hidden from you, but I think it best if I don’t explain until after we’ve succeeded. That way, our opponents won’t have any way to find out.”

Kelsin nodded. “I believe that would be wise. It allows us to have a trump card if all else fails.” After further discussion, it was decided that they would carry out the plan in a few days, and the meeting was finally adjourned.

“Manas, are you upset?” Sara asked, after most of the Siliven had left to begin preparations.

He shook his head. “No, just worried. I wish there was another way that wouldn’t involve you being near my mother,” he murmured, a troubled darkness filling his sky blue eyes. “I won’t even be able to use my metal abilities….”

“It’s all right, Manas. Just knowing you’re there is enough. And...I want to be able to do something to help."

“You’re planning to make her forget my name, aren’t you? Are you sure about that? You’ve never tried to do that before.”

“No, I haven’t, but a name is a word. Words are easily forgotten, even without magic involved. Besides, I was able to give you one of my my memories, even though I hadn’t done it before. It’ll be fine, Manas.”

Manas relaxed slightly. She was right, of course.

"I'd better go help Pim with supper. I promised him I'd help this evening." She smiled encouragingly, then turned and headed towards the corner of the cave, where Pim and the Overseer were starting a fire.

“Are you sure about letting her go with us?” Kelsin remarked, stepping up beside Manas. Manas nodded.

“I don't really like having her go into danger, but I trust her. She's come a long way from not even knowing she had memory magic, so she should be able to handle making my mother forget names," Manas replied. "And how I could not trust her when she's saved me so many times-- from my past and from death," he murmured softly.

Kelsin gave Manas a keen look. “You trust her; is that all?”

“What do you mean?” Manas asked, turning to the older Siliven.

“She loves you, Manas. I noticed that when I first met her, from the way she talked about you, and now that I see her interact with you I'm sure of it. But do you love her?” Kelsin replied, his gaze boring into Manas.

Manas started, caught off guard. He opened his mouth, then shut it, then stared at the rocky cave floor. Sara loved him? They had been traveling together for a while now, but surely they were just companions, not lovers. How could Sara love him in that way? He was a Siliven and she was a human, there was no way…. And then he remembered the way she had looked at him when he had tried to leave, how she had pleaded to stay with him. How she had given up her chance to use the wishing stone to save his life. How she was always trying to help and protect him, to encourage and guide him. How she was always smiling so tenderly at him.

“Silivens and humans can’t—be together,” he said haltingly.

Kelsin grunted and replied, “It’s true, Silivens and humans haven’t married for several years because of the tension, but a long time ago, before all the fighting between races, some did intermarry. It’s not impossible, though of course there is the difference in lifespan to consider; in your case, however, it might not be that much of a difference.” After a pause, he asked, “You are uncertain of your feelings for her?”

Manas clenched his hands. “I—I want to protect her, to make her happy. I want to be with her. But, is that really a basis to marry?” he asked.

Kelsin smiled slightly. “If you want to share the rest of your life with her and give her the best, I don't see why not. But you should be clear, to her and yourself, just what you two are. If you are friends or something more intimate,” he said.

Manas glanced over at Sara, who was helping Pim add some ingredients to a pot. "Make it clear," he murmured to himself with a frown.

Kelsin chuckled. "You needn't overthink it too much. Just tell her what you feel, ask her what she is feeling and thinking. And of course, if you remain as friends and not something else, that is good too. The danger is not knowing." He turned to leave. "Chess and I should head back to the palace, or else Fanny will get impatient. I'll be back tomorrow with some more provisions for you and the humans, and I'll let you know the progress of our preparations."

Manas nodded and watched Kelsin and Chess leave, thoughts swirling about in his mind like storm clouds, until at last the sun broke through, and he knew what he needed to do.

Link to Part 29:

#original story #siliven #fantasy

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endlessbittersweetdreams · 1 year

Text

"Broken & Beautiful" Chapter 19

Thankfully, with plenty of rest and fluids, I was able to kick my sickness to the curb. On day two of my illness, I allowed Jake to convince me to call in sick. Granted, I didn’t have to make a mad dash to the bathroom like I did before. But I had to face the facts: I really shouldn’t go to work that day. Jake was great throughout the entire ordeal, coming straight to my apartment after work to make sure I was okay. Let’s just say that my love and respect for him went through the roof.

Even though I tried to put it out of my mind, I admit that the comment Scott made to Jake at the truck depot got me thinking. Thanks to my illness, combined with Scott’s words, my mind was racing. I had to be absolutely, 100% certain. Otherwise, I would drive myself - and Jake - crazy. So the morning after my illness ran its course, I walked to the store just a few blocks from my apartment and bought every brand of pregnancy test I could find. I didn’t care about the judgmental looks I was receiving from the other people in line, or the not-so-subtle head shake the cashier gave me as she scanned each test. I had no time to be bothered by their stupidity.

When I got home, I chugged as much water as I could and then made a mad dash to the bathroom. I know Jake was trying to be supportive, but I really couldn’t focus with him standing right outside the bathroom door. So I ordered him to wait for me in the living room, telling him that I would let him know when the test results were ready. Several minutes and four pregnancy tests later, I called him into the bathroom to give him the results. Each and every test told us the same thing: I was not pregnant.

You can’t imagine the relief I felt at that moment. As much as I love Jake, we’ve only been together for a few months. It’s far too soon to bring a new life into the world, and neither one of us are ready. And although he was supportive during the ordeal, I couldn’t help but wonder what his reaction would have been if I turned out to be pregnant. He tends to run and hide when things become difficult. Could I trust him to not do that when I needed him the most? Would he be there for me? I’d like to think so, but that is the one thing I can’t be sure of when it comes to him.

It is now Valentine’s Day, and we are bracing ourselves for what is sure to be an extremely busy night. Talk about hitting the ground running.

I walk through the employees’ door and make my way through the kitchen, waving hello to the kitchen staff before I make my way up the stairs to the locker room. I reach the top of the stairs and encounter Simone as she makes her way out. We exchange pleasantries, and I have to remind myself to “keep the peace,” the entire time. If not for Jake, I would have clawed this woman’s eyes out long ago. We discuss our plans for this evening, and then go our separate ways.

When I reach my destination, I’m pleased to find that Jake and I are the only ones here. There’s something we need to discuss before work, and we don’t need people listening in. I approach him as he stands at his locker, having just put on his tie. After taking a look around to make sure we’re alone, I reach out and straighten his tie as I speak softly.

“So, I went to my doctor this morning.” He gives me his full attention, leaning against the lockers. “First of all, I’m fine. She checked me over. She said that whatever made me sick must have passed through me. I talked to her about our ... scare. And I decided that, given how ...” I search for a delicate way to phrase things. “... active we are, extra precautions should be taken. So tomorrow morning, as soon as the pharmacy opens, I’ll pick up my prescription.” He nods in acknowledgment. “Now that that’s settled ...” I smile at him. “... happy Valentine’s Day.”

He returns the sentiment, and we share a kiss. It doesn’t last long. In fact, we keep it PG because of where we are. But it’s still just what I need. I reluctantly pull myself out of his embrace and make my way to my locker, while he walks out of the room. After taking off my coat and scarf, and then slipping out of my boots, I open up my locker and smile at what I see. On the shelf is a heart-shaped box filled with my favorite chocolates, accompanied by two roses: one pink and one red. The note that is taped to the box is simple: Love, J.

“Aww! That’s sweet,” Tess comments when she walks into the locker room.

“Yeah. He has his moments,” I remark as I put my gifts back on the shelf and start to get ready. “So, are you and Will doing anything special tonight?”

“He’s taking me out to dinner. What about you and Jake?”

“I can’t say.”

Tess pauses as she takes off her jacket, looking at me. “Is he going to surprise you?”

“Nope. I am going to surprise him.” I grin to myself as I think over my plan. There’s something about me that Jake doesn’t know, and he’s going to find out tonight.

The time for Shift Drinks has finally arrived, and we let out a collective sigh of relief. It would be an understatement to say that the shift was busy. It seemed that every table was filled with couples celebrating the holiday, and I think we are all drained.

I enter the main floor area, holding the two roses in one hand while I have my box of chocolates safely tucked under my arm and hidden by my coat. There’s no way I’m letting Ari see these things. She’s an even bigger chocolate fiend than I am. I sit down on a stool and discreetly place the box on my lap, making sure it’s still hidden. I’m busy listening to Sasha ramble on about how he believes Valentine’s Day is nothing but one great, big conspiracy when something in my peripheral catches my attention.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Will says, holding out a flower. It seems that my best friend, being the sweetheart that he is, has decided to present each of us ladies with a flower. It’s just his way of making us feel special.

“Aww! Thank you, Will. Your momma raised you right.”

“That, she did,” he answers proudly. “So, what are you and Jake up to tonight?”

“I’m not at liberty to say. I’m keeping it a surprise,” I remark. I see him shake his head a little, and I look at him curiously. “What?”

“I don’t know. It’s just ... You two. I mean, no offense. I’m just surprised that you guys have lasted this long. You know, given how Jake used to be.”

I’m trying not to feel annoyed, but it’s a hard emotion to swallow. “Yeah, Will. Key words: ‘used to be’. He’s different now.”

“I can see that,” he remarks with a nod. “You two seem great together.”

“We are,” I declare with a smile. “What’s that saying from that movie? ‘I don’t make sense. He doesn’t make sense. Together, we make sense.’ That’s me and Jake.”

“I’m happy for you. Now, if you’ll excuse me ...”

I watch as Will and Tess leave for their date and then turn to see Jake standing behind the bar. “Well, it’s about time! I was starting to think you’d wandered off,” I comment, and he laughs.

“You ready to go?”

“Yes, I am. But I’m going to need you to hang out here for a little while.” I do some calculations in my head, rolling my eyes upward as I do so. “Say ... thirty minutes or so.”

“What are you up to?”

“It’s a surprise. Just meet me at my apartment in thirty minutes. You have your key. Right?” He reaches into the left pocket of his leather jacket and holds up the key, attached to a keychain with a little camera decoration. A little something special for my favorite photographer. “Good. See you in thirty.” I lean over the bar and give him a quick peck on the lips, then bid everyone else a good night.

As soon as I make it home, I lock the door and then discard my purse and coat. I take my gifts into the kitchen, put the roses in a small vase filled with water, and then set the box of chocolates down on my kitchen table. I begin to make my way to my next destination when I decide that I do have time for a treat. I pick one that seems particularly tasty and take a bite, grimacing and then throwing the chocolate in the garbage can under the sink. Strawberry cream. Yuck! I grab another one, close the box, and take a bite. Okay. This one is better: caramel.

Now that that’s out of my system, I put my plan into action. First, I create a trail of rose petals leading from the door to my bedroom. I use the remaining petals to decorate my bedspread before I begin to light the candles that I’ve placed in various areas around my bedroom.

Create romantic atmosphere: check.

Now on to step two: see if I can render him speechless with what I’ve kept hidden from him. I open up my closet and move my clothes aside, reaching for the shopping bag that I left dangling from one of the hangers on the wall. I reach inside and pull out the items. Yes, ladies and gents. I overcame my awkwardness long enough to pay a visit to a certain place known for its lingerie. It took me a while, and I was blushing the entire time, but I think I found something that will make an impression on my valentine. It’s a light pink, lacy little number that’s see-through save for ... certain areas. I slip into it and then pull on a short black satin robe, deciding to pin up my hair so a few auburn ringlets frame my face. Now all I have to do is wait for him to arrive.

Sure enough, a few minutes later I hear the door open and shut. After switching on some ambient music, I sit at the foot of the bed. I scramble to find the right pose, settling for crossing my legs and using my hands to support myself as I lean back just so. The curtain is pushed aside and Jake steps into the room, his eyes immediately landing on me.

“Wow! You look ... uh ...”

“Wait ‘til you see what’s underneath.”

I get up and slowly walk up to Jake, and then I begin the process of slowly sliding his hoodie off of him. The garment lands on the floor and Jake reaches for me, but I step back and shake my head. “No. Not yet. I told you I have a surprise for you. I want you to take off your clothes and lay down on the bed. On your stomach, please.”

Jake furrows his brows at me in confusion, and I smile at him. “Don’t worry. You’ll like it. Trust me.” He gives me that mischievous grin of his and then does as he’s been told, stretching out on my bed. I drape a white sheet over his bottom half, leaving his legs and feet exposed. “What are you going to do to me?” he asks, adjusting the pillow so he’s more comfortable.

I walk over to my dresser and grab my bottle of massage oil. “Well, I’m not going to go all “Fifty Shades of Grey,” on you, if that’s what you’re thinking.” He makes a sound that indicates he’s disappointed, and I choose to ignore it for now. I climb onto the bed and position myself so I’m close enough to accomplish what I’m about to do. “There’s something you don’t know about me, Jake.”

“Oh, no. Let me guess. Lilah isn’t your real name, and you’re just working at the restaurant to cover up your secret identity as a spy. Don’t worry. I’ll still love you,” he teases.

I shake my head. He does have an imagination. “No. A few years ago, before I started working at the restaurant ... I was a massage therapist.”

“A what?”

“A massage therapist ... for about six months.”

“Ah! Is that what you’re going to do to me?”

“Mm-hmm. You've been tense lately, and I am going to help you relax,” I confirm as I pour some massage oil into my hands, closing the bottle and setting it aside. I rub the oil between my hands, warming it up. “And believe me, Jake, you are going to love it.”

“Oh, really? What makes you think that?”

“Because I know what I’m doing,” I announce before I reach out and apply gentle pressure to his neck and shoulders. He tenses up at first, but then I can feel him start to relax. I can even hear him let out a low, soft, pleasure-filled moan. “Just relax and enjoy, Jake. Think of this as my way of saying ‘Thank you’.”

“For what?” he asks, his voice muffled by the pillow.

“Oh, I don’t know. For taking care of me while I was sick. For putting up with all of my drama. For showing up at my apartment that night and staying with me. The list goes on and on.” I move on to his upper back, my hands gliding over his skin.

“You could have said ‘Thank you,’ you know.”

I pause for a moment and pout at him. “Are you complaining? Should I stop?”

“Don’t even think about it. Keep going.”

“That’s what I thought.”

I move my hands down to his lower back, placing my hands against the area near his hips, and push forward toward the middle of his back. He lets out a groan and I pause, looking down at him in concern. “Too hard? You want me to lighten up?”

“No. Keep going. That felt ... good, in a weird way.”

“Okay. If you say so.” I work on that area for a few minutes and then move on to the next section. I don’t know if he’d be comfortable massaging the area that’s covered with the sheet, so I skip over it and move down to his legs. Because he has this thing about his feet being touched, I skip that area as well and choose to move on to his arms. By now, he seems completely relaxed. His eyes are closed, and I start to wonder if he’s asleep. “You still with me?”

“Mmmm,” is his only response.

Soon, my work is done and I have one very relaxed, very happy and very content valentine. I make a move to get off of the bed when Jake calls out to me.

“Hey. Where are you going?”

“Don’t worry,” I tell him. “I’m just going to put the oil away and then wash my hands. I’ll be back.”

He makes another “Mmm,” sound, and I quickly do as I said.

Though I do admit that I make one pit stop in the kitchen for another bite of chocolate. After locking the door and turning out the lights, I return to the bedroom. I check on Jake, shaking my head when he seems to be sleeping. Seems I relaxed him a little too much. Deciding that the rest of our romantic night will have to wait, I begin to blow out the candles. I don’t make it very far before he wakes up and calls out to me.

“Do I get to see what’s under that robe now?”

@anastacia-lynn

@mypsychoticlove

#jake x oc sweetbitter #sweetbitter jake #jake sweetbitter #tom sturridge sweetbitter #sweetbitterstarz #sweetbitter #tom sturridge #pregnancy scare #valentine's day

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