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ketamineharry · 3 years

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Small Bump - Harry Lewis

Requested: Yes ~ Hi Nikki, I hope you’re well. I was just wondering if you could write an imagine based on Small Bump by Ed Sheeran, it doesn’t matter which boy it is. Thank you x

Trigger Warning: Miscarriage

You looked down at the two red lines, not quite believing what was about to happen or how much your life would change. Having been with your partner, Harry for a matter of months you weren’t quite sure if either of you were prepared or ready for this life changing event. Especially considering that you were still at uni, and Harry’s YouTube career was only just taking off.

Telling him was going to be the hardest part. To say that Harry could be unpredictable was an understatement. As endearing as it was to you, Harry wasn’t always the best at reacting to things. A mixture of being socially awkward and socially anxious, he always wanted to do what was right but it never really came out in the way he had hoped.

You could feel your hands becoming more clammy, as you walked into his bedroom, his stream ongoing as he guessed one country or another on Geoguesser. He was knocked out of his little bubble though, when you rapped your fingers on his door. As you clutched the pregnancy test in your other hand.

He beckoned you in, as he ended his stream. As you sat on his bed, you presented him with the positive pregnancy test. A breath hitched in your throat as you awaited his response, milliseconds felt like an eternity. Before you had time to process what was happening, he had enveloped you in a hug.

“I’m gonna be a dad.” He beamed, as he placed a kiss to your forehead.

“You’re not annoyed then?” You asked, as you nervously chewed your lip.

“It’s come out of the blue, but it’s not a complete stinker, we’re gonna have a baby.”

You nodded simply, as he pulled you in for a quick kiss. One of his hands cupped your face, as the other gently found their way to your abdomen. Resting there for a few moments, as he stared at you in awe.

“I do have one request though,” he began, his tone playful. “If it’s a boy… Can we call him Harry junior? It’s the perfect name for the strapping donny he’s bound to be.”

“I’ll consider it.” You jested, as you pulled him in for another kiss.

Nothing could have felt better than this moment, you were absolutely sure of it. You were about to have a baby with the person that you loved most in the world, a human who was going to be half of you and half of him; yet total perfection.

As the weeks went on, Harry continued to prove that he was the perfect dad to your unborn baby. Waking up at all hours of the morning, making sure that you were fed and hydrated. Going out to the twenty-four hour shops to get you, your food cravings.

He had even taken to speaking to the small bump that had started to form. It had become a favourite pastime for the both of you, as you sprawled out on the sofa, your legs resting up against a footstool. While Harry rested his head on your bump, telling your baby about their future uncles and the crazy filming schedule they had. Occasionally pressing soft kisses to the skin.

“You have been quite the surprise little one, but as soon as you’re here… our future begins with you.” He whispered softly, as he interlocked his fingers with yours. A look of complete bliss, spread across his features as he looked up at you.

“I still can’t believe you’re growing a little donny in there. You amaze me.”

“We’ve still got a long way to go. I’m only at ten weeks, which means there’s approximately another thirty to go. But, if the little one decides to show up late, like their father… there’s no telling how long they’ll be.” You joked.

It had been a long twelve weeks, but it was finally time for your first scan. As long as everything was fine here, you were going to be able to tell your loved ones that you were expecting a bundle of joy. Harry was dying to tell the boys that they were going to be uncles, especially since they had all wanted to be uncles for each other’s children for the longest time.

As you went in, Harry helped you to get onto the bed. Holding your hand. The midwife applied some cold gel to your stomach and pressed the fetal doppler on your abdomen.

The loud ba dum ba dum ba dum, of your baby’s heartbeat filled the room. You had never heard anything like it. It was without a doubt the most beautiful sound that you had ever heard.

“That’s our baby.” You whispered in disbelief, as you looked over at Harry. He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye as he smiled back at you. He took your hand in his and placed a kiss on your wrist.

The appointment drew to a close, with you both content that your baby was happy and healthy. You couldn’t wait to be able to tell everyone, starting with your respective families. Including the sidemen boys, and your closest friend from university Lucy. Everyone was ecstatic, and excited to meet the future Lewis.

It was early one Thursday morning when you first felt the pain. Not wanting to wake Harry, you crept to the en-suite. Hoping it was just the baby making itself known, the first feeling of a little kick. You pulled your pyjama pants down, and to your horror you were faced with a sea full of red blood.

“Harry.” You screamed. Panic overtaking your system. The amount of blood wasn’t normal for your level of spotting, you got the odd amount every now and then. But this was an amount that you weren’t used to.

Harry rushed into the bathroom, as he took in your state of panic and bewilderment. He frantically searched the bedroom for some clothes. After collecting some underwear, a pair of joggers and a loose fitting top, he thrust it at you. The air thick with the sense of an emergency.

“Whatever’s going on, I’m sure it’ll be ok.” He assured you. He took your hand in his, as he gently led you to the car, strapping you in before going around to the driver's seat.

“But what if somethings wrong?” You questioned. The very real possibility of something being wrong with your baby, knocked you sick. Even without the baby with you, you had motherly instincts. You wanted to protect this being at all costs.

“Even if the baby has something wrong with it… it’ll be ok. We’re fighters and I can assure you, our baby is too, Y/N.” He said, as he attempted to reassure you with a half smile.

The ride to the hospital felt like it took an age. According to Harry, it was only fifteen minutes. Again, he took your hand and gently led you into the hospital. His optimism being the only thing that allowed you to function. He explained to the receptionist what was going on, and yet again, he led you to the correct department.

He instructed you to sit down on the metal chair, as you waited to be seen. The pain, however, just increased. With it almost being unbearable.

“Harry, please get someone. Something is wrong with our baby.” You whispered, between hurried breaths. Half to do with pain, half to do with panic.

“Excuse me,” he shouted, as a nurse walked past. “We need some urgent help, please.”

He explained the situation, and the nurse took you both into a private room. She retrieved fetal doppler from a drawer, and again placed the cold gel on your stomach. She placed the gadget on your skin, trying her best to locate a heartbeat. It was a vain effort, however, as one couldn’t be found.

“I regret to inform you…” the nurse began. But you couldn’t bear to hear it. Nothing could compare to the sadness that you felt in that moment. The most natural thing that your body was supposed to do, yet it had failed to do so. If you couldn’t keep your baby safe enough to carry it until full term, how could you ever have thought that you were going to be able to protect your child throughout its life.

“Harry, tell her she’s wrong.” You demanded. “She has to be wrong. It’s our baby.” You whispered, turning to him for some sort of conformation or comfort. But it didn’t come.

For the first time in your relationship, Harry was silent. He didn’t know what to do to make it better for you. He didn’t know what to do to make it better for himself either. As the tears streamed down both of your faces, he turned to you and broke the silence for the first time in the last couple of minutes.

“It’s not your fault and I still love you, more than anything. We’ll get through this I promise.”

#harry lewis #sidemen #w2s #sidemen x reader #harry lewis x reader #harry lewis imagine #w2s imagine #w2s x reader #wroetoshaw #sidemen imagine

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adsosfraser · 3 years

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The Stone’s Toll - Chapter Nine

Read on AO3

Jamie woke that morning, to his wife tangled around him. The singular thing driving him was between his legs. He kissed her neck and tugged at her skin with a sharp sting. Claire stirred and smiled up at him. Gathering her bottom lip between his teeth, his hands meandered down her shoulders, to the slope of her breasts, to her abdomen, and finally lifted the plump piece of flesh that he loved so much.

“Is this real? Are you real?”

“Would I do this if I was only a dream Sassenach?” He pinched the backside of her arse and grinned. She yelped in response and swatted his fingers away from the now stinging flesh.

“You’re real.” She smiled and placed her palms on either side of his jaw.

“I’ll prove just how real enough I am lass.” He smirked and moved his hands away from her backside, further down to cup between her legs.

“Jamie. Stop.” Claire panted out.

“Have I hurt ye, Claire?” He immediately pulled away, hovering over her and softly brushing her sides.

“No, but there are some things I need to tell you… before we’re intimate.”

“Is this about Frank?”

“What? No! Why on earth would you be thinking about him?”

“Well did ye?-”

“Once. But I didn’t encourage it.” Her lips tightened into a line. “This isn’t what I wanted to talk about Jamie.”

Before he could eek out a livid response, Claire jumped out of the bed towards the corner of the room. Pulling out a small silver box inside her leather bag, she plucked out a dome-shaped cup. She had two more tucked away in the small metal tin. Her hands then grabbed purchase of a small vial within her medicine bag. The objects flew onto the bed and she plopped down next to Jamie.

“This,” she pointed to the vial, “is a concoction of fennel and posies.”

Jamie had grabbed the odd rubber cup and rolled it between his fingers. Claire swatted it out of his hands a little annoyed at her husband’s dirty fingernails; she would have to clean it again.

“And this,” she waved the small cup in front of his eyes, “is a diaphragm. Some call it a ‘womb veil’. These are all forms of birth control.”

“Birth… control?” He rolled out the syllables in his last word.

“Yes, preventative measures to avoid pregnancy.”

“Christ, ye would kill a bairn!” He immediately regretted his words as his wife recoiled and her eyes betrayed the hurt inside of her.

“No, because there would be none in the first place. It stops the sperm- seed from ever even getting into a woman to create the baby in the first place.”

“But surely God-” He spoke more softly.

“Would want me to use it.” Tears pricked at her eyes. “Jamie I’m not… I’m not ready.” Jamie shifted to hold his wife closer as the atmosphere changed from playful to sombre. “I couldn’t go through that again to not have my baby in my arms. I truly think it would kill me, it almost did.”

His heart softened at her admission and he knew he would do whatever would make her safe and happy, even if it meant a life of celibacy. But he hoped to God it would never come to that.

“I dinna want ye to bear another child. I wouldna risk your loss Sassenach.” Jamie carefully pulled a curl away from her eye. “Not for a dozen bairns. We’ve Fergus and our nephew and nieces- weans enough. And our two beautiful lasses are wi’ God. So,” he paused to blink away the moisture in his eyes and swallow down the tightness of his throat, “if this wee diaphragm,” he rolled the word around his tongue, ”and posy is what’ll help ye I’ll gladly pick it fer you every day if that’s your wish.”

He picked up the diaphragm from her hands again, inspecting it more closely. “How does this wee thing work?”

“Well, I place it inside me so it covers my cervix, it should rest comfortably against my pubic bone.”

“Ye put that… inside ye?” He was completely disturbed by the thought.

“It’s not like there hasn’t been anything in there before, and I’d dare say it was even larger than that ‘wee thing’.” She grabbed a healthy hold of him to emphasise her point.

“Aye, that it is.” He looked down with pride and she rolled her eyes at him, but couldn’t help the smile that tugged at her lips.

“I’ll have to take the herbs one more week, to be safe. Can you wait for me?”

“I’d wait forever if it came to it, fer ye Sassenach, always.”

“Well, and we can always do other things.” She flipped Jamie to his back and her head travelled down his body to the curls nestled atop his pubic bone. “So long as you don’t, ‘spill your seed’ inside of me. Well inside my-”

He expressed his agreement with a loud grunt.

Six days later, Jamie was practically jumping in his skin with anticipation. He had gone back to the cave, much to Claire’s dismay. Instructing her to stay at Lallybroch, he wasn’t surprised when her head of curls popped into the shadows of the fire in his small sanctuary. He was very attentive, eager to make sure she kept up her steady intake of fennel and posy. They spent most of the days cuddling together and ignoring anyone else but themselves when he wasn’t out hunting for food. Most of the food was sent off to Lallybroch through Fergus. She didn’t want to admit it, but they were both avoiding their family’s disorderly presence and unanswerable questions. Fergus stopped by frequently and Claire was glad of the company while Jamie was off. Claire spoke to both Jamie and Fergus about her many childhood adventures; those stories were safe from the fresh pang of loss she had endured. But Jamie finally put his foot down on the final night when Claire got a crick in her neck and returned her back, but her wee hands gripped him hard into their bed. There would be no returning to the cave.

Claire wrapped a shawl around her and tiptoed to the window. The sunrise was almost over, bringing with it an unusually bright and cloudless day. She peeked down across the courtyard, and her blood turned cold. Jamie was pulling up his breeks over his sark. Without hesitation, Claire shoved Jamie into the small wooden closet of the Laird’s room and quickly pulled the laces of her skirt and bodice. Not a moment later, the door banged open to the sight of a pock-marked redcoat. His eyes scanned the room and landed on the closet.

“Where is he?”

Claire played dumb, not willing to speak to reveal that her accent would be the same as his. That would raise even more questions that she couldn’t possibly answer. The only thing she could think of at that moment was to play into the delicacy of her gender and faint into his arms. With an overdramatic flare of the back of her hand to her forehead, she slumped onto the floor.

Her prone position reminded her of another stiff surface. A cold metal sheet, uncaring hands, and a pressure in circles on her temples. Panic squeezed her throat and veins.

“Captain! This woman needs assistance up here!”

But it was Jenny who appeared at the door, not the Captain.

She gathered Claire onto her lap as best as she could being so far along in her pregnancy. “Oh no! My puir cousin! Ye see she had a great fall one day. The tragedy took her speech and now she has spells such as these all the time. I’m heart sorry ye had to see that Corporal…?” Claire relaxed into the familiar arms, so different from the ones that had restrained her.

“Lieutenant Wilson.” He puffed out his chest.

“Weel, Lieutenant, as ye can see my cousin Mistress Malcolm has taken up residence in this room recently. Bless her soul, the accident that stole her speech took her husband as well.”

The redcoat placed his tricorn over his heart and bowed his head. “Terribly sorry madame. Thank you for your cooperation.”

“O’ course, now away wi’ ye, we must prepare yer meal.”

Jenny was panting and gripped Claire’s hand when the soldier whipped out of sight. Liquid seeped down her skirts and to the stone floor below. “Jenny-”

“We must tend to the redcoats first.”

“No. Jenny. You’re only eight months along. We need to see to you immediately.”

“The Lieutenant-”

“Can go hang. Ian and Mrs. Crook will see to them.”

Jamie slipped out undetected down to the root cellar.

Jenny cursed, screamed and paced around her room. The midwife was impossible, refusing to sanitise properly before touching Jenny and Claire finally kicked her out. No woman like that would be touching her sister nor her future niece or nephew. Jenny slumped into the bed with Claire’s help when her labouring was over. Caitlin Maisri Murray was impossibly tiny when she met the world. No screams wrenched through her tiny lungs and Claire was immediately pressing the child to her thigh. Her forefinger and middle finger pushed into her chest and she breathed into the limp body. Finally, her chest heaved two minutes later, and her loud banshee shrieks filled the room. Her niece was a fighter. With her help, she would weather her first days, which would soon turn into thousands.

She had taken up massaging the baby girl to soothe her traumatised muscles from the hard birth. Claire cradled her niece’s turned head carefully in her hand and propped her stomach on her legs. Her hands began to deftly massage the exhausted baby’s back, legs, and arms, and once she was finished she gave a small peck to her wee nose. She still had a lot of growing to do to recover, but Claire was certain she would become a scraggly and loose-toothed toddler and a beautiful teenager before growing into the mature young woman she could envision her as now. Opening her bright eyes, moisture gathered at the corner of her aunt’s eyes in reaction to the brilliant colour. They were so like Jamie’s, and she knew not all babies kept their original colour, but she hoped. Would her daughters’ eyes have looked like this?

The men had all dispersed for drinks in the Great Room downstairs and Claire brought Ian over to the side to share the great news. She signalled with her hands to keep up the pretence of her muteness but whispered quietly with nearly closed lips as well to Ian. The Captain, Claire presumed, sauntered over to her and held out a paper. Laird MacKenzie sprawled across the material in an adolescent scrawl.

“A letter for your Mistress. We thank you for your hospitality and wish her congratulations.” Claire nodded and tucked the paper into the pocket beneath her skirts.

It was dark, the middle of night, and Jamie snuck back in when the redcoats mounted their horses. He fell asleep immediately tucked into his wife. She grabbed the small grey tin from within her leather bag and pulled out the diaphragm. She adjusted it inside her until it laid comfortably and sighed. It had been days since her return, filled with distress and sickness, panic and dismay, and the events of the past few months had come crashing down upon her once again. She needed her husband. Crawling over him, he woke from his slumber. He grinned up at her and slowly came back to reality.

“Thanks to yer quick-thinking Sassenach, not only was my life saved but my wee niece and all in Lallybroch.”

“You saved my life James Fraser, on more accounts than one. I thought it might be fair for me to return the favour.” Claire smirked and rolled their bodies so she straddled him. “And not only that, I want to protect you forever Jamie. To see you safe until we’re old and grey, with an army of grand nephews and nieces, and the grandchildren Fergus will bless us with, to surround us. You can’t get rid of me ever again.” She softly kissed his forehead, along his cheeks, the tip of his nose, and slowly brushed her lips against his eager ones.

“Och, Sassenach. Stuck with ye for life? I can think of worse.” He stared back at his wife with mischief in his eyes and adjusted his body so they were both on their sides.

Claire rolled her eyes as she lightly slapped his arm. She leaned even closer to him, which seemed impossible with their skin flushed up together already. Her thumb trailed a line across his bottom lip and she replaced it with her own mouth.

“Make love to your wife.” She whispered, obstructed by his lips but he heard her like his life depended on the very cadence of her voice. Claire let go of his lips to kiss the spot behind his ear that made him squirm. “Make love to me Jamie.”

Their lovemaking was frantic, both seemingly clawed to possess every inch of skin.

When they laid dazed on their backs, recovering from their post-coital bliss, Jamie lightly pressed his fingers onto the fading burns on her stomach and traced up to the two identical circles on her temples. Her hand found the healing scar on his thigh and she stroked over the raised skin. She looked at the large gash across her husband's thigh, still red with the newness of the injury.

“How?”

“Culloden.” He gritted out. “How?”

Her hands guided his towards her stomach. “The stones.” Now, her temples. “Boston.”

She didn’t want to discuss it any further, just as he was reluctant to share the details of that dreary morning on the moor. She neglected the scar on her breast and he didn’t push any further for her to speak on it. Would he feel ashamed of her truth? Of course, he wouldn’t, but she did. It was difficult for her to think back on. Speaking on it would make it true, so she kept those memories locked tight in her brain. Maybe, with more time she could heal, and she would share everything with him completely like they once had been.

“Boston?”

“Danvers State Hospital to be specific. Or as some call it- will call it the State Lunatic Hospital at Danvers. Frank put me there when I-“

“Frank did this to you?” Jamie’s teeth clenched in anger and Claire could feel the heat radiating from his skin onto hers. “If he were here, I’d fight him fer ye Sassenach. I should ha’ never sent ye to him.”

“You couldn’t possibly have known. You were doing what you thought best, with the information we had at the time.”

“What is it, that left these scars on your puir heid?”

“They’ll fade. Soon there won’t even be a scar, I’m sure.”

“I dinna care about how they look on ye Sassenach, I care that ye went through pain to have them, I would ha’ gladly taken it myself.” His eyes were glossy as he implored her. “Now tell me.”

“In the asylum, they had these new treatments, electric shock therapy. They place these two rubber circles wrapped in like socks or something attached to a headband on your temples, and send volts of electricity through your brain. Like harnessing lightning right to your head.” His grip tightened, appalled at his wife’s description. “My mind was hazy for days, I couldn’t do much but stare listlessly at walls. I saw Fergus then, on the first night following the treatment, though I’m not sure he saw me.”

“He yelled out fer ye, almost at the same time every week.”

“Oh.” It felt better to know those nights he was truly there. “I was in there for little over a month, so I only had to endure it two times- wait no three, I think. I was a lot luckier than others, who were prisoners there for years on end. I shiver to think what that would have been like, a prisoner to your own mind and unable to say no to your jailer, or even saying no but them being apathetic towards your plight.”

“Fer all ye speak o’ the future, it doesna seem much better than now.”

“It’s true, some people use their innovations for evil then, that’s why the war I was in started. Evil exists in any time, in any place.”

“Weel I’m glad yer here in my arms, away from those mad bastards, and I know I can be there to fight anyone who wishes ye ill.” Her thigh began rubbing between his.

“I am too Jamie. So much.”

Laird and Lady clung tight to each other in their bed, in their home knowing they would have to leave tomorrow.

#outlander fanfiction #adsofraser writing #jamie x claire #jamie fraser #claire beauchamp #claire fraser #fergus fraser #canon divergence #craigh na dun #outlander fanfic

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avengerscompound · 4 years

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Running to a Standstill - 2

Running to a Standstill: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Word Count: 2342

Rating: E

Square filled: None for this chapter

Warnings: none

Synopsis: While on the run from an unknown organization trying to take your son, you meet two super-soldiers. While they try to help you get to the bottom of who is hunting you and your son, feelings come out and admissions are made that make your personal life even more tricky.

Chapter 2

Steve had expected to meet you out somewhere casual. He hadn’t really been thinking about this as a date-date. More a casual meeting to try and get to the bottom of what you were hiding from. He’d agreed to let Natasha and Clint organize the venue and convince you to meet him there because they knew you better. He’d been given the address and name of the restaurant and he’d dressed in his usual casual wear of a blue button-down and tan slacks and when he’d shown up, he suddenly felt very underdressed.

The restaurant was lined in hardwood, and decorated with pots of fresh herbs and copper cookware, giving it a rustic farm feel, but the floor to ceiling wine racks that took up three walls and the fact most of the guests were wearing suits or cocktail dresses said that it was anything but homey.

He arrived before you and was taken to a booth table under some wine barrels, that’s boxed seats were covered in cushions. He was just looking over the menu of items - some of which he’d never even heard of before and all had prices that made him glad for the 60 years of back pay the army had owed him - when you arrived. You were wearing a champagne cocktail dress with a gold lace overlay and around your shoulders you had a red wool shawl.

Steve stood and greeted you with a kiss on the cheek, waiting for you to sit before he did too. “You look beautiful,” he said. He realized that it probably sounded ingenuine - the kind of thing you just say to someone on a first date - but he meant it. He’d thought you were attractive the day he met you, even in the hoodie and jeans that were stained with grass and had a patch where it looked like either you or Geo had dropped ice cream. Tonight you looked stunning. The dress was flattering to your figure and you looked radiant with your hair and makeup done for a night out. Mostly he loved the way you smiled. You seemed excited to be out on this date with him, though a little nervous.

“Thank you,” you said. “I can’t even remember when I last went out on a date. I was surprised when Natasha said you were interested. So I wanted to make the effort. Who knows when I will get to again?”

“Hopefully it won’t be that long,” Steve said genuinely. Not exactly meaning that it would be him that took you out, but realizing that’s exactly how it sounded when you smiled and picked up your menu like you were trying to hide how excited you were.

Natasha and Clint had obviously made you think this was a real date and even though he hadn’t come here tonight thinking the same thing, he decided that he should treat it the same way. Besides, maybe Clint and Natasha knew something he didn’t and the two of you might be a good match. Maybe you’d be able to distract him from his crush on Bucky that was never going to go anywhere at the very least.

A waiter came over to take your drink orders and with a little discussion, the two of you decided to share a bottle of Merlot.

“So you haven’t been out with anyone for a long time?” Steve asked as he browsed the menu.

You shook your head and looked up at him over your menu. “Not since before Geo was born. I bet you date a lot.”

He shook his head. “You know,” he said. “I think this might be my first real one. I mean… don’t get me wrong, I’ve had relationships, but they always came out of my work and we never made it to the dating part.”

“Wow, no wonder you picked this,” you said. “Of course you’d want to make it special.”

“Oh,” he said. “This was Clint and Nat. I guess they’re playing match-maker.”

You laughed. “This is so not a Clint and Nat place.”

“No,” he chuckled. “Well, maybe Nat, but she’d be working an angle.”

You laughed and the waiter returned with the wine. He poured a small amount for Steve to try. He had no idea what made a wine good or not, so when it didn’t taste like vinegar Steve gave a small nod and the waiter topped off both glasses. He took both your orders. Steve went with a dish that had ham, mozzarella, and truffles, followed by a steak because at least he recognized what they were. You were a little more daring ordering spugnole as a starter, followed by tagliatelle.

“So why don’t you date?” You asked, taking a sip of the wine.

Steve let out a breath and shook his head. “Time mostly. Never had the time to actually date,” he explained. “But it’s not only that.”

You put your hand on his and smiled softly. “What else is it?”

“I’ll tell you what,” Steve said, giving your hand a small squeeze. “I’ll tell you my story and you tell me yours.”

You seemed to mull the question over for a moment. “I’m worried that if you know, that will attract their attention.”

“You know that doesn’t make any sense don’t you?” Steve reasoned.

“Maybe. But,” you said taking your hand away. “This is the longest we’ve ever managed to stay in the same place. I’m expecting them any moment and if you decide to try and find them, then they’ll know it’s because of him.”

“We can keep you safe. And Geo. It’s what we do,” he said.

You let out a breath. “You go first.”

The waiter came out with the starters and when he left again, Steve took a bite of ham and chewed it slowly, focusing on the smokey, salty taste.

“Are you avoiding?” You asked as you collected some mushrooms onto your fork.

“Maybe a little,” he said. “I guess there’s a lot of factors. I don’t know how much you know about my past but I wasn’t always this. I was small. Really small. And sick. I had a long list of medical issues. I was bullied a lot. No one really looked at me as a possible romantic partner. And I suppose I did go on dates back then, but they were double dates Bucky organized and there was always this supreme look of disappointment on the face of the woman he brought them to meet me. Like they expected me to look like him. I was a letdown. I think it affected me in a lot of ways. When women look at me now - like …’

“...They used to look at Bucky?” You suggested.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “That. Well, I can’t help but think about back then. And then I wonder if they like me for me. I need time to get to know people and that doesn’t work out in the real world. Only with people in mine and then work gets in the way. Plus…”

He stopped talking and considered if he had it in him to admit this last piece. The bit about how he had feelings for his best friend. He hadn’t admitted that to anyone. Not Bucky. Not Nat. Not even Sam. He had said he’d tell you his if you told you yours, and it was only fair to keep his side of the bargain if he wanted you to do the same.

“I have had a crush on Bucky for a very, very long time,” he said.

“Oh my god,” you said, dropping your jaw. “Does he know?”

“No,” he said quickly. “I didn’t want to make him feel awkward. He was always a real ladies man. And now… he’s healing and I doubt his sexuality has changed,” Steve explained. “And please know -” he reached over the table and touched your hand again. “I like women too. The relationships I’ve had have been with women. It’s just… you know?”

“No,” you said. “I mean, yes. I get it. It’s okay. I know how you feel.”

He let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. “So… it’s unrequited. But I think I do a lot of comparing people to him, which isn’t healthy. A couple of people have made the cut, but in the end, things weren’t meant to be. So maybe I’m not supposed to have that. Which I guess is another thing. I once had someone tell me that I was nothing if I couldn’t be a soldier. And I think it got to me. This here -” he gestured around him. “- is a level of normal that I don't often allow myself to have.”

You nodded and took a drink from your wine. Not a small one either. You swallowed the dark liquid like it was water and when the glass was drained you filled it again. “You didn't hold back did you?”

“I said I'd tell you mine if you told me yours,” Steve said.

You nodded and leaned back against the back of the booth. “Yes. I suppose you did,” you agreed. “It’s long.”

Steve shrugged. “For once, I have time.”

“When I went to college, I did lots of stupid little things for money. I sold blood. I tutored high school kids. Just any little thing to give me some money to cover my bills. One day the biology department had these posters up for an experiment. It paid a lot. You got $100 if you were accepted. And if you made it to the end they'd give you $7500. So I signed up. I figured that whatever they were doing was probably safe if it had gotten to the human trial stage,” you explained. Steve couldn't exactly criticize your reasoning. He'd signed up for some pretty extensive human experimentation himself.

“I was accepted and once a week I'd go in with a group of about thirty other people and we’d have some injections and then we’d be tested. It was a little odd. The injections were painful and the tests were strange. They'd ask us to try and reprogram a computer. Then try and guess what cards they were holding up. We’d go on a treadmill for a bit and lift some heavyweights. Then we'd be sent home,” you explained. “I made friends with most of the other people but I also met the man I'd end up marrying.”

You stopped talking when the waiter approached and cleared away your plates and didn't start again until he'd bought out the entrees. Steve waited patiently. He knew there was no point in rushing the story. “After about six weeks things started to happen. John, my husband was running much faster than should be possible. And I was guessing every single card correctly. It never lasted. By the following day we were back to normal, but every time we had an injection it was more. By the end of the experiment, I'd get those shots and be able to hear every single thought of every person in the building. Even the ones people don't want you to hear. The intrusive thoughts you don’t even want to be having. John could run at the speed of light.”

You drained your glass again and topped it off again and Steve leaned over and took your hand. “What happened?”

“Project got canceled and we were told we were free to go. We got paid our money,” you answered. “Only one day I heard… In my mind… These people… I think they were government agents, coming to take us. The injection hadn't completely worn off yet. I told John and he packed a backpack, scooped me up into his arms and we ran.

“It was fine for a while. We changed our identities. Got cash-in-hand work. No one came for us. Then I got pregnant and when Geo was born the equipment went haywire. When he cried it broke every machine on the floor cried along with him. They wanted to keep him there to be tested but we knew what would happen so we ran again. Only those people found us. They killed John. I got away. But I've been running ever since.”

“Do you know who they were?” Steve asked.

You shook your head. “I have no idea. They never thought of anything that linked them to an organization. Just things that made them seem like authority figures. Official. You know?”

Steve nodded. “I understand.”

“If they're official, like the CIA you can't help me,” you said with pain in your voice. “You're a private militia. You have no authority.”

“I see my role in this world as exactly the person who steps in when the government is mistreating its people,” Steve said. “I promise. We won't let anything happen to you or your son.”

You nodded and seemed to make yourself smaller. “I wish I could believe that.”

“You can trust me,” Steve said. When you didn't say anything Steve caressed the back of your hand with his thumb. “Do you know what Geo’s powers are?”

“I think they call it technopathy,” you explained. “He has an affinity with machines. Sometimes he can even communicate with them. It’s come in handy actually. I don't like using him like that but he can make ATMs give us money. Change car titles to our name in the system. Have our names changed. Erase record of us. In emergencies, it has helped us get away.”

“He would love meeting Tony,” Steve said. “Maybe the two of you should move to the tower for a while.”

You shook your head fervently, “No. No. Too high profile. I feel safe where I am. Clint and Nat keep it safe and it's just some apartment block. No one looks twice at it.”

Steve nodded and drained the last of his wine. There was a lot to process and a lot of work to do. He'd need to find out who was after you first and foremost. He just wished there was a way he could convince you the safest place you could be was under his watch.

// NEXT

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #stucky #steve rogers x bucky barnes #stucky x reader #steve rogers x reader x bucky barnes #captain america fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #running to a standstill

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glimmerglanger · 4 years

Note

So I’ve been plagued by this since I read mirror AU. For your spice week, how would you feel about obikin sex with an audience? Can be purely for pleasure or a ritual thing or an accident, but like, thinking of Anakin staking a claim in front of Cody in agaptfaa may have awoken something in me? Ditto prime Anakin and mirror Anakin with either Obi-Wan. I know Obes would think it riduculous/primitive but maybe find it hot anyway?

Anonymous said:

hmm this isn’t particularly spicy on its own but it can be added to a spicy september fic? like ur prompts are the ice cream and this ask is the extra toppings haha. but like obi wan’s pale skin being marked up with finger shaped bruises and hickeys and his own flush? bonus points if he’s ‘pleasantly sore’ 🥺

Mmmmm, I like these ideas very, very much! I went with ritual sex with an audience because I’m legitimately so, so weak for that. Marking ended up fitting in very well with this particular plot bunny. Hey, if we’re staking a claim…. No reason for half measures. Established relationship set during the Clone Wars (close to the end, with Anakin’s mental state being frayed).

This is NOT SAFE FOR WIZARDS. No real warnings beyond that. We’ve wrapped up Spicy September Week with this fic! I hope you all enjoyed it! Thanks for all the wonderful prompts! I’ll be posting all the fics over on ao3 to make sure they don’t get lost etc. Hope everyone has a great rest of the week, time for me to get back to prepping for Whumptober!

~~~~~~~

They landed on Tuls on a clear, cool morning, with frost across the ground. Technically, Anakin wasn’t even supposed to be on the mission, but he’d been working with the 212th when Obi-Wan’s orders came through and…

Well. They’d had enough things go wrong for Jedi sent on solo missions from the Senate. He’d decided he ought to tag along, and Obi-Wan hadn’t protested. They’d even had some time to sleep, on the flight to Tuls. Anakin had hoped they might have time for a bit more than sleep, but Obi-Wan had still been recovering from...whatever the kriff had happened to him over Raydonia.

Anakin took one look at the fading bruises all down his ribs, and lost the urge to press the issue. It was more than enough to hold Obi-Wan close while they slept, to pour healing energy down into his skin, hoping to ease as much of the damage as he could.

By the time they arrived on Tuls, most of the marks had faded away. Obi-Wan had stretched that morning, when he woke, and looked down at his side with a surprise written all over his expression. “Feeling better?” Anakin had asked, dropping a kiss against his ribs, and Obi-Wan had smiled at him, looking soft and still mussed from sleep.

But that had been earlier, when it was just them. Obi-Wan looked nothing but professional as they set foot on Tuls soil, met by an entire delegation of tired, stooped humanoids, who looked at them and said, “Thank goodness you have finally arrived, Jedi. There is no longer much time.”

“I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan said, after the Tuls delegation had hurried them along, out of the cold and into a finally appointed meeting chamber. There was a fire crackling in a large hearth along one wall, which was a relief. There was a bitter chill in the air, which seemed odd. Anakin was almost sure Obi-Wan had said that it was supposed to be late spring on the planet. “I was not informed we were on a time-table, but you mentioned--”

“We are very late to bring the spring,” an older man said, rising heavily from a chair by the fire. He was solidly built - Anakin guessed he’d probably been all muscle, once. Time had added a healthy girth around his waist. He wore a crown of dark stone cut through with pale lines.

Obi-Wan glanced at Anakin, and Anakin shrugged. Obi-Wan looked back at the man and said, “And you… require our help, to bring the spring?”

The man nodded. He said, “Forgive my manners. I am King Urtus. And, yes. We need your help, specifically, Master Jedi.” Anakin could feel the relief radiating off of all of these people, even as their leader spoke.

“Ah,” Obi-Wan said, shifting around, loosening his shoulders in a little movement that Anakin wasn’t sure anyone else would identify as the first step towards a fight. “May I ask why? I’ve not heard of such assistance being required before.”

Urtus grimaced, looked to the side, and spat into the fire. “We did not need outside assistance. Not before the Separatist attacked us. The Keeper of Seasons was killed in the attack. Her apprentice…” He gestured to a boy standing to one side; the kid looked to be in his early teens. “Is not yet of age to bring the spring.”

“I think…” Obi-Wan said, as a creeping feeling ran down Anakin’s back, “that you ought to tell us, exactly, how one brings the spring, here on Tuls.”

“Are you serious?” Anakin said, after Urtus finished explaining exactly what it was they wanted Obi-Wan to do. He felt a prickle across his shoulders as everyone in the room turned to look at him, including Obi-Wan, who raised an eyebrow for good measure.

“We are quite serious,” Urtus said, as though he had not just suggested that - that Obi-Wan come down to some - some kind of ritual chamber and take off all his clothes and--

“Getting kr -- engaging in intercourse doesn’t make the seasons change,” Anakin said, feeling his cheeks getting far too warm. He, abruptly, didn’t like the way any of the people in the room were looking at Obi-Wan.

Urtus shrugged. “It ever has on Tuls,” he said.

Anakin looked at Obi-Wan, hoping for support on how mad the entire suggestion was. He got a shrug, instead, and a thoughtful look, as Obi-Wan said, “I can feel the Force flowing through the core of this world. It is possible the seasons have become tied to… rituals, of a sort. And carnal relations are often tied to the advent of spring.”

Sometimes Anakin wanted to shake him. Not everything had to be a science project.

Urtus cleared his throat, before Anakin could point out that now was not the time to get curious about the ecosystem of some new world. “Please,” Urtus said. “It should be nearly summer now. We beg for your assistance with this matter.”

“Why does this have to be Obi-Wan?” Anakin asked, shifting to put himself between them and Obi-Wan, just in case they got grabby.

“We can feel his connection to the Force,” Urtus said, straightening and meeting Anakin’s gaze for the first time. “The planet responds to him, already.” Anakin figured he’d have to take Urtus’ word for that.

And Anakin knew damn well there was no way Obi-Wan was actually going to decline. He’d be full of concern about the fate of the planet and the safety of these people and if it meant him getting fucked on an altar to set things to rights, then so be it. So, it wasn’t much of a surprise when Obi-Wan said, “Of course, I will assist in any way I can.”

Urtus sagged with relief. Anakin felt the emotion vibrating through the rest of the crowd, and fine, he supposed they could make this work. He could help and they’d just get this over with, and-- Urtus said, “We will prepare you and arrange the melee immediately, then.”

The back of Anakin’s neck prickled, even as Obi-Wan asked, “Melee?”

Urtus nodded. “Indeed. To determine who shall have the right to assist you. So you may remove winter’s veil and bring the spring.”

Anakin tightened his grip on Obi-Wan’s arm; he felt Obi-Wan’s emotions shift, some hint of worry entering his feelings for the first time. None of it came through in Obi-Wan’s tone when he said, “Surely, I select who has the...right?”

Urtus shook his heavy head, making a deep humming sound. “No. It must be whoever is touched most deeply by winter, as decided by the Force,” he said, “it has ever been thus.”

Anakin looked over the crowd in the room. He really disliked the way they were eying Obi-Wan, and wondered, if he picked Obi-Wan up and bolted, what his odds were of getting to the ship. Probably not high, if Obi-Wan decided to fight him. Which he almost certainly would.

Anakin blew out a breath, instead, and said, “Is anyone allowed to join this melee, then?” Because, kriff, if it was a fight they wanted… Well. He was more than happy to give it to them.

In the end, the Tuls were agreeable to the idea of Anakin joining the melee. He had no idea what they meant by ‘touched by winter’ and he didn’t really care. He was taken to a chamber to prepare with all the rest of the entrants, while Obi-Wan was spirited off elsewhere. They were only to use weapons with blunted edges, apparently, but that was fine. Anakin had long ago learned how to fight with whatever was to hand.

He cracked his neck side to side, selected a weapon that fitted his hand, and waited, ignoring the chatter around the rest of the room.

It seemed to take an age and a half before the doors were opened again and they were led out, across a frozen expanse of ground, and into a small entryway, directly into the earth. It was dark inside, and warmer. There were steps, leading down, and Anakin followed the figure in front of him, flexing his fingers in and out until they, finally, reached the bottom.

They were… in a large, open space, ringed with seats stretching upward, many of them filled. The walls glowed, faintly. Anakin barely noticed any of that, because, in the center of the… well, the arena, there was a familiar figure.

Someone had taken Obi-Wan’s tunics and left him wearing…pieces of white fabric, tied in bands around his body. His eyes and mouth were both wrapped. There were more bindings around his arms and hands. He was standing in front of a tall lump of stone. Anakin assumed, with a hot lurch of his gut, that this was the altar.

Which meant the Tuls fully expected someone to fuck Obi-Wan right there in the center of this arena and, well. There was no way Anakin was going to let anyone else touch him. He took a breath, adjusted his grip on his weapon, and waited while Urtus made some kind of speech that he didn’t care about.

He shifted his weight from foot to foot, waiting for the moment when the melee started, and then springing into action. The Tuls were determined, he had to give them that. And they seemed to have decided that they didn’t actually care who won the right, as long as it wasn’t him.

They swarmed him, and Anakin snarled. Even with numbers, they were not a match, and he knew it. They had not a fraction of the practice and experience he’d gained, and he knocked them aside, one after another.

One almost cracked him over the back of the head with a cudgel, only to slip on nothing a moment before the blow could land, falling into one of his fellows, instead, and Anakin half-laughed at the feeling of Obi-Wan’s presence against his skin.

The Tuls woman in front of him balked at his laughter, and Anakin took the opportunity to elbow her in the gut, listening to the sound she made as she folded up, flinging himself back into the fight. There was no real strategy to it, it was nothing but a brawl, fierce and vicious, devolving, finally, into a bare knuckled scrap between the last contenders.

Anakin had something of an advantage in that area, and grinned fiercely at the sound his fist made hitting the jaw of the last Tuls standing between him and Obi-Wan. The man had a half a head of height on Anakin, but went over backwards with a satisfying thump.

Anakin stood, for a moment, in the midst of the groaning fallen, breathing hard. His clothes were torn and bloody, he noted. He throbbed from a dozen different places, wounds aching. He tasted copper on his tongue and turned his head to the side, spitting, even as drums started around the room.

He distantly remembered being told about the drums, and grinned, because they meant he’d won.

He met Urtus’ eyes across the arena, nodded, and stalked towards the center of the space. Obi-Wan hadn’t moved, standing there still as a statue. There were, Anakin noticed, as he got closer, clothes wrapped around his knees and ankles, too. His feet were bare on the stone and there were strange tendrils of light winding away from him, out through the stone.

Anakin decided he didn’t care about the light, right at that moment. His blood burned in his veins, his gut full of fire from the battle. He was already hard, when he stopped in front of Obi-Wan and reached out, grabbing the wrap around his eyes and pulling it away.

Obi-Wan blinked open his eyes, so clear and blue, and did not look surprised to find Anakin before him. Anakin grabbed the wrap over his mouth, hoping he was doing an adequate job removing winter’s veil, and Obi-Wan said, quietly, something tense in his expression, just for a moment, “I knew it would be you.”

Anakin shivered and could not stop himself from sliding a hand back into Obi-Wan’s hair and leaning closer, kissing his mouth, aware he was leaving smears of blood behind and - and liking it, liking the way it marked Obi-Wan’s clean, perfect skin. “I think I had some help,” he murmured, against Obi-Wan’s mouth, and felt Obi-Wan smile.

“Maybe a little,” Obi-Wan agreed, and Anakin kissed him again, pleased to know it had been him Obi-Wan wanted with him, here in the middle of an arena, here at this crude altar.

It made his pulse beat faster, instructions for what he was supposed to do jumbling together in his head. The Tuls had been specific about some things, but it was hard to focus on what they’d wanted. He’d needed to - to take Obi-Wan out of these bindings, definitely.

Anakin could do that, He kept one hand in Obi-Wan’s hair, aware of all the eyes on them. He expected a prickle of anxiety across his nerves, he even anticipated, in a flash of worry, that he would not be able to maintain his current state of interest, not while knowing so many people were watching.

But these people had thought they could have Obi-Wan. Thought they could just use him for their ritual. And he, abruptly, quite liked the idea of showing them all just how wrong they were. He slid his mouth to Obi-Wan’s neck, nipping at the skin and then sucking, hearing Obi-Wan make a loud, surprised sound.

He slid his other hand down, tearing at the white wrappings, careless and rough. He just wanted them off.

“The altar,” Obi-Wan ground out, his hands freed to come up, to grip at Anakin, pulling him closer. “We need to--the stone is Force-reactive, we need to be on--”

Anakin got the idea. The altar was the size of a large table, rising directly out of the floor. It came up to his thighs, he noted, even as he pulled the last of the wrappings away, grabbed Obi-Wan’s thighs, and lifted him.

The stone lit up beneath Obi-Wan, when Anakin turned and put him down on the altar. Veins of color shot through it, so bright they were almost blinding. A murmur went up through the crowd, relief and joy, but Anakin barely noted it.

Obi-Wan lit up, as well, and that was far more interesting. Trails of light stretched under his skin, glowing. He looked like something out of a dream, something magical. But then, he always had. Anakin groaned and crawled onto the altar, falling forward to kiss him, hands all over his skin, warm and soft and perfect.

He left behind smears of blood, marks that showed where he’d touched, and groaned at the sight of it. Everyone on Tuls had wanted Obi-Wan, but he was the only one who got to have this, the only one who got to touch, and he wanted, suddenly and fiercely, for them all to know it.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan panted, tugging at the closures on Anakin’s tunics. They were hanging off of him already, and Anakin yanked the outer tunic off, tossing it aside. He cared little about the under tunic; it wasn’t in his way. He slid a hand down, curled his fingers around Obi-Wan’s cock, and watched the light beneath him shift, spreading away from the altar, out across the arena.

Obi-Wan’s hands clenched at his belt. He made a sound, thick and pleasure-drunk, as Anakin stroked him, setting a fast, brutal pace. He had not patience within him, at the moment, he just wanted. Wanted to watch Obi-Wan’s eyes flutter, wanted everyone in the arena to see what he got to do.

He bent forward, kissing Obi-Wan deep and filthy, the drums pounding around them, almost drowning out the sound Obi-Wan made when he spilled all over Anakin’s fingers.

“Force,” Obi-Wan panted, and Anakin grinned, rubbing his fingers together and considering. They’d not given him anything to ease the way. He shrugged, decided to make do, and slid his fingers back, between Obi-Wan’s legs.

He found Obi-Wan slick already, slick enough to slide two fingers in at once, and the revelation punched a groan out of him. “I thought,” Obi-wan gasped, deliciously flushed and glowing, “I’d better, ah, be ready.”

Anakin nodded. He felt quite beyond words, aching with so much want it felt hard to think. He wanted, so badly, to stretch out over Obi-Wan like this, to touch his glowing skin and let all the Tuls see how good he could make Obi-Wan feel, show them his beauty, the light of him--

The Tuls had warned them both that they might be...affected by the ritual. Anakin was willing to blame the hot jump of his pulse on whatever the kriff the Force was currently doing, whatever was making Obi-Wan light up, the glow off of his skin chasing away all the shadows in Anakin’s head, leaving him… singularly focused.

The urge to make everyone see swallowed him. Anakin took another kiss, hard, and then rocked onto his heels, batting Obi-Wan’s hands away - he’d gotten Anakin’s slacks open, that was more than good enough - and gripped at Obi-Wan’s hip.

Obi-Wan made a thick sound, surprised, when Anakin dragged his fingers out. His gasped beautifully, his skin all aglow, brighter spots of light at his freckles. Anakin ran a hand over his chest, awed, and then settled his hands, pulling Obi-Wan’s hips just so, gripping tight.

He heard the sound Obi-Wan made over the drums when he pushed in. Around them, the light started picking up colors, purples and pinks and blues, greens, spreading around the room, spreading across Obi-Wan’s skin, like an aurora, a celestial event, right in front of him.

Anakin jolted at the feeling of being in him. It was always amazing; he could have happily fucked Obi-Wan for the rest of his life, but-- Sinking into him on the altar felt like something else, the sensation spreading out to each nerve, clearing his head, leaving nothing but want and need and desire behind.

Anakin needed to fuck him, needed to drive into him, needing to make him gasp and cry out. Anakin gripped him, hard, keeping a hold on him, knowing he was leaving marks behind and - and liking it. He wanted marks, his marks, all over Obi-Wan’s skin, wanted everyone on Tuls and all the other worlds in the galaxy to know that Obi-Wan was--

Obi-Wan’s trembled, light spreading out from him, through the stone, the colors getting brighter, sharper. And Anakin wanted everyone to see, deeply. Force, he loved the way Obi-Wan looked when he was getting fucked, loved the way Obi-Wan’s mouth got soft, the way he flushed all across his cheeks and down his throat.

Every inch of him was beautiful, and Anakin groaned, driving into him as the light curled and flowed around them. He wished he had another hand, to curl around Obi-Wan’s cock, and in that moment saw no reason not to utilize the Force.

Obi-Wan jerked, full-bodied, when Anakin curled tendrils of the Force against his skin, pressure and sensation. Anakin thought he heard his name - it was hard to tell, the drums had gotten louder and his blood was pounding in his ears - and he took it as encouragement.

It felt like encouragement, through Obi-Wan’s emotions, overspilling into Anakin’s head.

He touched and touched and groaned when he felt Obi-Wan quake, come spilling across their skin and the altar and--and something shifted in the air around them, in the presence of the Force through the room. Anakin felt like lightning grounded down through his spine, pleasure and primal want swimming up through him.

He lost himself, for a moment, aware of nothing but pleasure, but needing to fuck into Obi-Wan, desperately, but the sheer joy of spilling within him. Anakin groaned, cock pulsing, and slumped forward, over Obi-Wan’s glowing form.

He held Obi-Wan - almost limp - and buried his face against Obi-Wan’s throat. He sucked hungry kisses against the skin, wanting to leave more marks, wanting to stain the pale flesh, wanting to leave no room for doubt that Obi-Wan was--

Was breathing shakily, trembles moving through him.

Anakin swallowed, hard, wrestling back control of all his riotous wants. He was aware, distantly, of cheering and the brilliant lights filling the chamber. But that all felt far away as he stroked a hand comfortingly across Obi-Wan’s stomach, pressing softer kisses to his skin, and holding him, there on the altar.

He managed to ask, as he got his breath back, “You think that did it?”

Obi-Wan laughed, tilting his head further to the side in what Anakin took as an invitation, and said, “Darling, you may have overshot us right into summer.”

#obikin #glimmer replies #ask me anything #Spicy September Week #public ritual sex #marking #spicy #not safe for wizards #established relationship #seriously thank everyone for all the prompts and support through this week #i was very nervous about doing so many spicy fics #i still remember that comment i got about my writing being good even if the sex is bad #so #thank you all of you #see you next year for another spicy week?#or maybe we'll do one in the spring #WHO KNOWS

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barnesbabee · 4 years

Text

Edge Of Glory || C.J

Pairing: Choi Jongho x Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst

Words: Idk but from the top of my head I’d bet on 3126 words

Pieces of lyrics from the song are written in bold

⚠ drug abuse, mentions of physical/psychological abuse (not from the idol), mentions of death and suicide, dystopian!au ⚠

Warning: There are disturbing/ scenes described. Read at your own risk.

ᴀᴛᴇᴇᴢ x ʟᴀᴅʏ ɢᴀɢᴀ ᴄᴏɴᴄᴇᴘᴛ ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ || ᴘ4

ʙᴀꜱᴇᴅ ᴏꜰꜰ ᴇᴅɢᴇ ᴏꜰ ɢʟᴏʀʏ ᴍᴠ

A worldwide pandemic took all nations by surprise, one worse than any century had ever experienced, one that all safety precautions, medicine and technology couldn’t fight. It came down onto the whole world like a train and the population decreased greatly, along with all of the resources.

Hazmats became the trending fashion and hospitals became the new hotels. Everything was at max capacity, and the bodies of deceased people piled up on the streets. Pale corpses that looked like they had been drained of all of their blood laid against the walls, on top of each other, or sprawled on the road. It was every man for themselves, and chaos dominated.

You were a little relieved, however. Your parents wouldn’t allow you to leave the house for safety, but every time you looked out of the window every deceased person seemed to be of age, more specifically, a mature adult. Mostly people from their thirties on.

Maybe it didn’t affect younger people? Maybe their immune system was good enough to fight the disease?

You had many doubts, but not enough answers. No one had answers, and suddenly everyone had a God. When nurses and doctors fled, when the news disappeared and it all stopped being transmitted, everyone started praying, ironically.

Your parents were jittery and nervous all the time, but that was a normal reaction, they had seen and experienced the outside world. You felt safe in their presence, although seeing them come in the house in the yellow suits kind of scared you.

Months were spent in this routine, and all seemed normal (within the limits). One day, however, you were woken up by loud banging on the front door. You immediately stood up from bed, a little dizzy from the sudden movement, and wobbled over to your door. You pressed your ear against the wooden door to hear whatever went on downstairs. You had never gotten visitors…

You heard the downstairs door creak open and a male, harsh, demanding voice spoke.

“Any kids in?” He simply asked.

“N-no, Sir. We’ve never been able to have kids.”

You frowned at the shaky voice. They did have a kid though...

The nervousness in your mom’s voice, the violent man’s tone, and the lie immediately raised a red flag for you. You became uncertain and shaky. Who was he!?

You prepared for the worst. You shoved a couple things in a backpack, the absolute necessary, and opened your bedroom’s window as quietly as possible. You looked down at the previously green grass outside. It was far. If you had to jump you were gonna hurt yourself, so you just prayed that they’d leave.

“Surely you wouldn’t mind us looking around then?”

Your eyes widened, and you immediately took this as your cue. You put on the black gas mask your parents had given you in case of emergency and sat by the window pane.

“What? B-but I told you we don’t have-”

“Ma’am please step off or you’ll be taken.” He rudely interrupted your mother.

You heard heavy footsteps echo throughout the house, and without a second thought jumped off. You pursed your lips together to prevent the scream from escaping past your lips as you landed on your side, on top of a couple of rocks.

You got up as quickly as you fell down and ran. You ran as fast as you could, always holding your aching side.

You had no idea where you were wandering, you had no idea what was safe or not, and you had no idea what was happening, but you ran anyways.

It had been four days. You had seen some people running around and looting stores, you had seen some people in suits patrolling, and you had seen huge tanks taking over the city. You always felt the floor shake when one of them approached, so it was easy to hide. You wondered what they were for, but then again your imagination had run short.

You hadn’t found a place you deemed safe yet. You’d sleep in hidden street corners and stolen from beaten-up shops to survive, but you were becoming tired and desperate. Hope died very quickly in a place like that, and every morning it was hard not to give up.

After the longest days of your life, you decided to risk it. You went into the only part in town you hadn’t scavaged. It was previously known for illegal activity and for being generally very shady. Strangely, it was the most familiar part of town. It was dark, cold and scary, just like before.

You walked warily, looking the torn-apart buildings 'from head to toe’. Most of them were locked up, or too damaged to even enter, but a particular building caught your attention. The windows were sealed, but the door had a chain that had been broken. You approached it and carefully removed the chain. The metal door creaked against the floor and made an ugly noise. You closed it just as slowly and carefully inspected the bottom floor with the poor flashlight you had found in a hardware store.

It was clean.

You moved upwards, and all of the floors were clear of corpses. A sense happiness and relief washed over you, as you might had just found a place to stick around in.

As you reached the floor just below the rooftop, your eyes glistened and your face lit up.

A mattress with a couple of blankets laid against the wall. There were unopened cans of food organized near the window, that gave you a perfect view of the safe and unsafe areas. As you were about to inspect the food and the expire date on them, someone spoke behind you.

“Hello?”

You jumped at the voice. You spun around quickly and held the turned-off flashlight close to your chest. Your eyes were widened and you were frozen in place. The male in front of you, on the other hand, was relaxed yet confused.

He had a long dark fringe covering his eyes, and his skin was very pale.

“W-who are you?” You asked, trying your best not to stutter out the whole sentence.

The man looked at you as if you were stupid.

“I’m the person living here?... The owner of this five-star suite, actually.”

Your face fell a little at his statement and he chuckled.

“What? Did you think you had hit the jackpot and just found a perfect place waiting for you?”

You averted your gaze and blushed slightly in embarrassment at how stupid your thoughts sounded when said out loud. Neither of you said anything. You could immediately tell that there was a big contrast between your personalities: while you stood there, stiff and nervous, he was relaxed and staring at you with a mocking glare. You were a little confused as to why the male wasn’t freaking out over a random person walking in where he lived and trying to claim it. It was suspicious…

The man looked at the mattress on the floor, then at the cans.

“Wanna share?”

You were taken aback by the question. Why would he willingly share what he had? Why would he willingly spare half of the very scarce resources he possessed?

“Why?” You quietly asked.

The man understood your confusion, most people would shoo others away and refuse to even let them come close to whatever they had gathered.

He walked over to the mattress and sat down with a groan. The stranger took a very poorly joint up to his mouth and took a hit, then puffing out the smoke and creating a small cloud between the two of you. He opened his mouth to say something but was immediately cut off.

“We’re in the middle of an apocalypse and you’re getting high!?”

It wasn’t like you to stress over something so little, but the near-death experiences, the fear and all the running away had transformed you into a shell of your former self.

“It’s… It’s not an apocalypse.”

You furrowed your brows and cocked your head. How would he know what all this was anyway?

“Well it’s kinda- Can you fucking sit down or something you’re stressing me out, standing there holding that flashlight like I’m gonna try to murder you.”

The statement stole a chuckle out of you and you sat down on the floor in front of him.

“To put it shortly, this pandemic is a war gone wrong.”

There was a long silence, as he let you process the tiny bit of the puzzle he had just told you. It was understandable that you didn’t know what was going on, no one really did know but the ones that had been exposed to the government’s horrors.

“This… virus. It wasn’t someone’s carelessness or a lab security breach, it was a biological war that went to shit. A country unbeknownst to everyone apparently sent out a virus to wipe out Japan and Korea, it was speculated inside the borders that it was because of the lucrative rise and some countries were losing their economic powers over a lot of major cities. But it spiraled out of control and everyone is slowly dying. It’s much worse than anything anyone had ever seen, and in a panic, the government started doing what they call ‘recruitment of the younger generation’. Don’t let the name fool you, we were taken against our will…”

“We? You were there?”

Jongho sighed, his voice dropped considerably and suddenly the weed tasted odd. He threw away the joint and rested his head against the wall. Guilt and shame filled his body, and he wasn’t able to look you in the eye as he explained what went on in the place he had been confined in.

“I was… taken. From the house I was in. They take only young people who are healthy and capable. No disabilities inside those walls, only the ones they deem good enough to procreate and rebuild our country. We… We are forced to work, they do tests on us, they treat us like lab rats and the boys… The boys are forced to impregnate girls.” His voice cracked at that, clearly hitting a deep scar. His chest began to rise and fall quickly.

You became suddenly sad and worried for the stranger. Your face contorted in a pitiful look and you approached him, patting his thigh for him to know he had your support.

“It’s okay, you don’t need to tell any more…”

The male glanced at the joint he had thrown away and regretted doing so. He really wished he had something that made the conversation easier.

“No, the more people know, the easier it will be to destroy this whole shit. Letting the world die is better than what they’re doing to us. I was… forced to make girls pregnant. I- I don’t even know their names. I don’t even know who they are, they push you into a room and they watch you, to make sure you do things right. When people refuse to do so, there’s a punishment. But I was always too scared of it so I just followed the rules. In a couple of months I’ll have… I’ll have a children in there. A son, who knows maybe a daughter… And they’ll be forced to do exactly what I ran away from. Fuck I’m a monster!”

The male hit his head against the wall, hard. His eyes were tightly shut (certainly not hurt from the bang against the wall, but from something much deeper) and tears threatened to fall.

The psychological side clearly was much worse than any physical work they were forced to do.

“Hey, hey it’s okay. You didn’t do that because you wanted to, right? You did it because you were forced. If those kids are as smart as you surely they’ll get out too.”

He scoffed and turned his head to look at you.

“I got out because I was lucky. I was done with life, I didn’t want to be there anymore. But because the suicide rate was crazy high inside those walls everyone was always watching. I knew a guy though, he managed to pass around drugs and my plan was to overdose… But when the time came I always pussied out. As time went by and I kept consuming I became thinner, paler, weaker… I looked like I was about to die and they didn’t understand why, but at some point they stopped wanting me there, they deemed I was unfit. They cut off my food and water, they left me to die in a room. I was lucky because I passed out. They thought I was dead and threw me over the border. I woke up in a pile of dead bodies, bathing in blood, dirt, puke, and God knows what else. I could barely move, but I dragged myself out of the corpses and tried to survive the best I could.”

You couldn’t believe your ears. You wanted to say something, but what was there to be said? ‘It’s going to be okay’? You both knew it was a lie… There was nothing to be said and all you could do was greet his lengthy life-story of the past couple months with silence.

“That’s why I smoke weed. Y’know… kinda takes me out and makes me forget everything’s gone to shit, drowns out the worst in my head.”

You nodded, a little uncomfortable yet understanding his position.

Luckily, Jongho who had been through Hell and come back, was great at shooing away the awkwardness.

“Now that you know about my kids, I’m Jongho by the way.”

“I-I’m Y/N.” You introduced yourself, a little shocked at the way he was fine with joking about it.

“Well Y/N, buckle up. We’re in a warzone now, it’s the end of the world. There ain’t a reason you and me should be alone.”

You and Jongho sat at the top of the building. The sun was going down and you sat on his lap. His arms were around your body, holding your hands as he tried to teach you how to properly roll the thin paper.

“Y/N! We don’t have infinite weed! Stop messing this up!”

“I- Are you joking, Jongho!? You pushed this mess onto my hands because you wanted to have a reason to have me on your lap!”

You stood up (faking anger toward him) and walked up to the edge of the building, dancing and prancing around.

Jongho laughed at your cuteness and threw away the very much ruined romantic joint he tried to do with you. He walked over to you and placed his hands on your hips.

“I won’t get high tonight but at least I was happy.”

You looked at him, surprised at the sweet comment. The sunlight gave his skin a golden tone and the slight wind blew his hair back. He smiled at the big eyes you were giving him, and chuckled upon realizing how little it had taken to make you speechless.

“What?” He asked, as you wouldn’t stop staring.

You giggled and placed your hands on his biceps, subconsciously playing with them.

“Nothing it’s just… I didn’t know you could be cute.”

Jongho faked a shocked expression, never breaking eye contact.

“Excuse me! I can be adorable!”

You scoffed and slapped his chest.

“You’ve been cute to me like, two times.”

“Two?” He asked, not remembering what the first had been.

Your eyes drifted away and you blushed slightly.

“Well, you let me stay with you… That was really sweet, thank you.”

Jongho lifted your chin with his index finger, making you look at him.

“And I’m glad I did.”

There was a small, comfortable silence before you spoke.

“Why is that?”

You were eager for the answer. Jongho was unpredictable, you never knew what to expect of him, so you looked deep into his eyes as you awaited a response.

Jongho looked away, before looking back at you and pressing his lips against yours, for a kiss that lasted no longer than a second.

“Because I like you.”

It was incredulous. You expected him to say that, but it was so… unexpected. You opened your mouth to speak, but he cut you off as per usual.

“And I know, I know it’s been like two weeks, but it’s hard not to fall for someone like you once you spend every second of every day with them.”

You blushed slightly and hit his chest.

“Plus, you’re one of the most beautiful women out there.” He said as he caressed your cheek lovingly.

“Jongho, who knew you could be so sweet…”

“I know, right? But then again, everyone is dying and there’s like, a dozen women out there so you don’t have much competition.”

You two laughed, and before you could hit him, Jongho ran away and ran downstairs. Once you found him, you tackled him onto the mattress, but of course he won over you, and began tickling you all over. He’d only stop when you begged and were almost crying.

You looked into each other’s eyes. The dim light coming from the windows setting a lewd mood. Once you had regained your breath, you grabbed the back of his head and kissed him. The kiss lasted a little longer than the previous one, slightly losing its innocence.

You had never gone beyond kissing with anybody, so you were surprised at yourself when you deepened the kiss and rolled your hips against his, you didn’t hate it however. You wanted to continue. The world was ending and you were making out with the hottest man you’d ever been with on a mattress, so if there was a perfect timing, that was it.

You moaned onto the kiss, signaling that you wanted more, but Jongho pulled away rapidly and looked away, a little embarrassed.

“Jongho? Did I do something wrong I-I’m sorry I had never done that before and I-”

“You were fine Y/N, don’t worry… It’s just that. Those things I did… Those girls, it wasn’t that long ago. I don’t think I’m comfortable, I’m sorry, love.”

You felt bad for making him feel like he had to apologize for his feelings. You started to panic, but you had to calm yourself down in order to make Jongho feel comfortable.

You placed a hand on his cheek and kissed his forehead.

“It’s okay Jongho, I don’t mind waiting. I’ll wait for you a million years, even when we’re both old and looking like raisins, I promise I’ll still want you.”

The male giggled, showing the gummy smile you loved oh so much, and buried his face in the crook of your neck.

“I got so lucky… You’re all I need.”

You woke up with Jongho shaking you and calling for your name. You immediately shot awake and sat on the mattress you called a bed.

Your boyfriend threw his heavy mask onto a corner, grabbed both of your cheeks and kissed you passionately. His eyes were teary and puffy. His whole face was red and his coal-coloured hair was stuck to his forehead. You furrowed at the way his hands were shaking as he held you.

“Jongho?” You asked, a little nervous.

“Yes, darling?” He questioned.

His voice was as shaky as his hands, and anxiety started building up in the pit of his stomach.

“What’s wrong?”

His jittery eyes took in all of your features before smiling nervously.

“Nothing baby!”

He kissed your cheeks, your forehead, your nose, and finished up with a long kiss on your lips.

Suddenly, the ground shook. Once, twice… Jongho tried to block the window with his broad back, but you could still see the shiny, shooting star-like object coming down from the sky and colliding with the ground. A loud sound echoed in the air and the ground shook once more before you saw a mushroom-like explosion in the distance.

You couldn’t hold back the tears as panic immediately enveloped you.

“J-Jongho what- what’s going on!?” You asked, your voice rising for the first time in months.

Your boyfriend looked at you with teary eyes and held your face in a way that you couldn’t look at the window.

“Nothing, doll. Everything is fine, we’re gonna be okay.”

Jongho hugged you tightly. You quickly wrapped your arms around him and held him as close as possible, as your brain put two and two together.

The two of you pulled away and looked into each other’s eyes.

“I love you.” He whispered.

And, before you could reply, he pressed his lips to yours, in what you both knew to be your last kiss. So you didn’t pull away. And when the sky fell down, and when the blasting got closer to you, you still didn’t pull away.

And so when everything went black, neither of you noticed, because your eyes were still closed, and you were still holding each other as if the world wasn’t ending, and you were the only thins that mattered to each other.

Your forever wasn’t long, but as you held each other and tears streamed down your faces, you knew that it had been a good forever.

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vegetacide · 4 years

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TaG: Bloodlines (Part 8.. )

Veg • notables: Any errors in this are strictly my own

Ty to @gumnut-logic and @scribbles97 for the brainstorming help and the encouragement.

Rating and General warning: Mature content head. If you are not a fan of medical issues of a female nature in relation to pregnancy please proceed with caution.

Characters: Virgil, Kayo, (V/K)

Location: TaG-verse AU | Tracy Island

E N J O Y

8-8-8

Part 8 - Susulan

Lady Penelope being true to her word found a wonderful woman who was well liked and sought after and she was one of several that Doctor Coxley had recommended to their Grandmother.

The tall Haitian by the name of Cecilia had credentials as long as Kayo’s arm and had worked in some of the best kitchens in the world. Several of which had Michelin star ratings due to her amazing contributions and somehow they’d managed to scoop her.

She was a true marvel and the whole family took advantage of her skills.

The boys were in heaven and so well fed that often they found themselves all camped out in the living room or out by the pool in various states of full bellied contended lethargy. Happily stuffed and satiated after a mind blowing meals. Before long it was like Cecilia had always been there and things in the house seemed to settle down back into some form of normalcy.

The two weeks following her arrival just seemed to coast by and as previously arranged the date of Doctor Coxley follow-up had come and gone with barely a hitch..

His trip had been a simple affair, the boys having been out on a call at the time. One of their security operatives had shuttled the doc to the island with little fanfare.

Kayo, though frustrated at being basically bed bound the last few weeks, found herself decidedly nervous. She was eager to know if the improvement of her condition would be enough to appease the doctor. She’d done research herself as she’d had plenty of time on her hands but she was by no means an expert.

Her pressure was down, bleeding tampering off to the odd bout of spotting. Energy levels were increasing daily and her appetite was healthy. She felt better now then she had in a while despite the lingering morning sickness and she was twitching to do something other than staring at the walls all day.

Grandma had been happy with the results as the forced rest seemed to have helped but there was no telling if she was going to be able to return to some form of duty or not.

Upon the Doctor’s arrival Grandma had shown him to their infirmary where Kayo had been waiting as patiently as she could.

After a quick but thorough exam her doctor had snapped off his gloves and tossed them in a bin before making a quick note on his data pad. When he’d turned back, he’d handed Kayo a towel and given her a hand up from the awkward position she’d had to sit in.

The island medical facilities were top notch for basic injuries but for things of this nature, not so much.

“Well, “ He’s begun pushing his glasses up his nose. “Things are looking good. The bleeding has for the most part stopped through you may still experience a bit of spotting. Typical of placenta previa.

“Baby’s heart rate sounds strong and your weight gain is all within acceptable levels for your age and fitness level.”

He’d paused as he’d looked over his note. “I’m pleased to see you’ve taken appropriate measures the last couple of weeks and I do see a marked improvement in your BP but,” he stopped for emphasis. “It’s still higher than I would like to see it.

I know you’ve been eager to get back to some sort of normal activity level but I would have to recommend that for the time being you refrain from anything too strenuous. At this stage of your pregnancy we don’t want to mess around as you still have some twenty odd weeks to go.”

Kayo had been disappointed by the results but she would do whatever needed to be done.

“Additionally,” He added, setting the data pad down to make sure he had her full attention. “Going forward I would like to be able to monitor you personally. Allowing you to come home was the best course of action given the situation at the time but I have my reservation about you not being within east travel distance of a hospital. It’s quite a hike out here even with access to the type transportation you have at your disposal but given the nature of your pregnancy I strongly recommend you relocate to the mainland.”

That certainly hadn’t been what she expected and her hand automatically settled on her middle. “Is there a problem?”

Doctor Coxley gave her knee a pat. “Just call me being overly precautious. I would rather have the necessary staff and equipment and not need it than need it and not have it.”

He’d smiled at her then, turning to gather up the equipment he’d brought with him. “I’ll advise Doctor Tracy of what we’ve discussed so arrangements can be made sooner rather than later. And I would highly recommend you make the move in the very near future as traveling any later could have detrimental effects that we would like to avoid.”

He’d left shortly after with directions to call him if she had any further questions.

It was definitely not what she’d been expecting to hear and her anxiety kicked up a notch.

The island was a secure haven but the outside world was a different story. If the media got wind that she was on the mainland and pregnant there would be no way to stop that shit storm that would follow. Their family privacy would be out the window in an instant and the vultures would start circling like that carrion loving garbage eaters they were.

She’d cursed as she dropped her face into her hands

“So, “ Virgil said, stepping from the bathroom with a towel slung low around his hips. “He wants you to be closer to medical help if need be.”

His wife gave a nod and he leaned a heavy shoulder against the door frame, arms crossing tight over his chest.

It wasn’t idle that was for sure, security wise it was a nightmare and as for call out the logistics were .. well to say it wasn’t the best was putting it lightly.

“We’ll talk to Scott and Dad in the morning. We’ll figure it out somehow.”

Fiddling with the end of her hair, Kayo looked off out the darkened window. “It’s not going to work with both of us being there. Two isn’t something you can just park anywhere without it being noticed. Even on a GDF base eventually it’s going to get noticed. And what about the pods?”

Brows dipping, Virgil pushed off the door frame. “What are you saying?”

She braided and unbraided the end of her hair, eyes distant and when she flicked her gaze up to him he caught on to her train of thought. Shaking his head he walked the short distance over to her and crouched at her feet.

“That is not an option and you know it.”

“Virgil, we don’t have much of a choice here. You’re needed here and we can’t just up and move Two and all her gear to the mainland for the next four months. It’s not logical or safe. It would be easier to set up a secure location for me. I can take a small security detail with me. Logistically its a sound option”

Virgil shook his head, taking her hands in his. “No, that is not a viable option, Tan. It’s too risky. Not with us having no idea where your uncle is or what he’s up to.”

“It’s been months since there’s been any sightings or news on him.. Maybe it’s time we stop hiding..”

Shocked, Virgil blinked at her. Five months earlier she’d thought that not having the baby was a better option than having it because of the Hood and now she was doing a complete about face.

“Kay, stop.” He gave her hands a squeeze running his thumb over the back of her knuckles. ‘What’s really going on here?”

She pulled away and got to her feet to walk across the room. Taking his shirt off the back of a chair she tugged it over her shoulder, her small frame dwarfed by it and Virgil got a flashback of a morning so many months ago.. One he didn’t care to be reminded of when there had been a real possibility of them not being in the position they were in now. Like having to make this sort of decision.

He would take this though over any other option as difficult as things were at the moment the alternative was not something he even wanted to fathom.

Her shoulders shrugged and she turned back to face him. “I’m just trying to not.. I don’t know...” Her shoulders slumped. “It’s just that things are so complicated and having to worry about ‘him’ all the time is exhausting.”

Going to her, he wrapped her in his arms. “We’ll figure it out. Let’s just not do anything rash before we’ve exhausted all the alternatives.”

Her slender arms slipped around his waist and she burrowed into his chest. When they were along like this was the only time he ever got to see this side of her. The vulnerable one that she tried hard to hide from the others.

Her confidence was always such a striking thing about her. Standing out and making her bigger than life but in the closed confines of their space the masks peeled away. Her guard came down and he got to see the woman underneath the warrior.

Pulling back, he took her chin in his hand and tipped her head up so he could see her face. Brushing his thumb over her pulse point, he kissed her brow and then each check reverently before skimming his lips over hers.

She sank into him easily, having long ago given up her internal battle against the feelings she’d hidden so well from him.

He caught himself though as her fingers pressed into his back. It was late and he could tell by the shadows under her eyes that Kayo needed sleep desperately. The emotional toil of the day having cost her considerably.

Her breath ghosted across his lips as she sighed, knowing like he did that stopping before things got out of hand was for the best right now.

“Come on, we can discuss this in the morning when we both aren’t dead on our feet.”

Her nod in agreement was singular and concise. A flicker of her confidence with the simple gesture returning behind the verdant green of her eyes.

She stood back, took his hand and tugged him towards the bed.

8-8-8

TBC

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #TaG Bloodlines #vegetacide #Virgil Tracy #Kayo Kyrano #virgil/kayo #Virgil X Kayo

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freddiesaysalright · 4 years

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The Most Dramatic Season Ever - Week 7 - Fantasy Suites

Summary: It’s your time now! You are ABC’s new Bachelorette and this is your journey! All these men (including our fav BoRhap boys and then some) are competing for your heart! Will you find love? Will you get engaged at the end? Or will you end up heartbroken? Find out, on the most dramatic season ever!

Word Count: 7k (i’m finally chilling tf out)

Tag List: @psychosupernatural, @someone-get-a-medic, @bensrhapsody, @deakyclicks, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @minigranger, @crazyweirdocalledfriday, @the-moving-finger-writes, @assembledherethevolunteers, @rose-writes-prose, @queenlover05, @moon-stars-soul, @danadeacon, @deacyblues, @thesundrop, @cupidben, @lostlittlenerd, @delilahmay39, @timmvrphy, @queenmylovely, @loveandbeloved29, @free-pool-trash, @fairestkillerqueenofall, @local-troubled-writer, @babyalienfairy, @littlecarowrites, @allthethingsicant, @im-an-adult-ish, @mirkwoodshewolf, @squishy-gay-astronaut, @sherlollydramoine, @butlegendsneverdie, @dogmom2014, @rocketrhap917, @26-7-49, @lelifesaver, @frozenhuntress67, @drowsebaby If you’d like to be added, let me know!

A/N: I’m sorry this took so long and that it’s a little shorter. Writing has been hard as I’ve been really depressed this week. We moved my grandfather to a hospice house and dancing (the only thing that keeps me sane) has been cancelled. Anyway, I hope y’all are all staying healthy and safe :)

Warning(s): OKAY I thought about doing some smut in this chapter, but then decided against it. I don’t think it fits the format, since so far it’s been like watching the show. That being said, I got as steamy as I felt was cool. So, it’s steamy but it’s not like completely NSFW. I hope y’all enjoy :)

Night 1 Week 1 Week 2 Week 3 Week 4 Week 5 Week 6

Week 7 here we go!!!

The flight to New Zealand was long and tiring. It took almost an entire twenty four hours of travel. You tried to get some rest, but it was tough, since your heart was still breaking for Rami. It did not ease your pain to remind yourself that it was the right choice. It was the toughest breakup so far. And you were anxious because it only got harder. Especially because you were in love with the three remaining men.

This of course, made your decision even more difficult. You needed these overnight dates to determine who was further along and who was ready for a proposal. But the overnight aspect did have you a bit nervous.

Sex didn’t frighten you. But it usually deepened your feelings, so you needed to know how they felt before going to bed with them. And whether or not they were truly ready to commit themselves to you.

After a day to recover, you had your first date. It was with Joe, which of course, excited you. Joe’s hometown had been wonderful, but you needed to know if he loved you. If he was in this as deep as you were.

Joe: I think I’m more nervous this week than I’ve ever been before. Knowing that Y/N and I could have the night together and take our relationship to the next level is really important to me. I also know that I’m in love with her and I need to tell her. My biggest frustration is that I know she can’t say it back. But I need some sort of validation because I’m starting to lose my mind a little bit. I didn’t think this whole journey was gonna be this hard…

You were meeting Joe in Hobbiton, where Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit movies were filmed. You were stoked when you got to the bar in Ireland based on The Shire, but now you were getting as close to the real thing as possible. It was an odd combination of nerves and thrill for you. You hoped you got to where you needed to be with Joe because you weren’t ready to say goodbye.

You beamed at him as he approached, your heart easing at his familiar form. He started to jog over when he saw you. When he reached you, he scooped you up in his arms as you laughed together. He set you down so he could kiss you.

“Hey,” he said quietly when your lips parted.

“Hey,” you returned sweetly. “Are you ready for today?”

“I’m stoked,” he assured you.

“Well, we’re touring Hobbiton,” you said with a smile. “So I think it’s gonna be great!”

You took his hand and led him up the path to Bag End. There, you met a guide, who began to walk you through the entire set. It was so cool to see everything in person and to witness the work that went into making such a huge, legendary film. The sun was shining and you felt it made the grass around you almost glow green. It was the loveliest day. After the tour, you sat together at The Green Dragon Inn, each with a drink. You toasted to your journey and took a sip.

“So, how are you feeling after last week?” Joe asked. “I know this is getting harder for you as the feelings get deeper.”

That was what you loved about Joe. He understood you, and never made you feel bad that this was the situation you were in.

“I’m okay,” you told him. “Obviously, last week was difficult, saying goodbye to Rami, but I knew it was the right thing to do. I’m optimistic about what this week will bring. Hopefully, it’s clarity.”

“I hope that for you as well,” he said. “I’m glad to hear you’re staying positive. Getting too caught up in the heartbreak...it’ll just bring you down. And I really want you to be happy.”

“That’s what I want too,” you said. “That’s the reason I’m here, y’know?”

“It’s the reason we’re all here,” he replied.

You each sipped your drinks some more and chatted about the experience. The day slipped by all too quickly. Before you knew it, it was time to part ways and get ready for the evening portion of the date. You carefully selected your dress. It was going to be a big night after all.

You met at the hotel where you were staying, and had a patio table all to yourselves. The lighting was low, just candles and soft, yellow bulbs. Drinks and dinner were set out and waiting for you. Joe pulled your chair out and let you sit, before taking the chair next to you.

“So,” you said. “Here’s to a wonderful day, and an even more wonderful evening.”

“Cheers, baby,” he replied.

You clinked glasses. When you set them down, you looked at him.

“So, I know this is a weird date,” you said. “There’s no rose to hand out, but there is something at the end, and I -”

“Y/N, I’m gonna stop you right there,” he said. “I know that it’s the fantasy suite, and I just want to tell you there’s no pressure. I’m really happy with where we are.”

You smiled. “I am too.”

He took a deep breath. “Honestly, there was only one thing I regretted about last week in New York.”

“Oh?” you wondered, brow furrowing. “What’s that?”

“I should have been honest with you,” he said. “The truth is, Y/N, I’m in love with you. Spending this day together only solidified that for me. I love you. With my whole heart.”

A smile spread slowly across your face as he spoke.

“Joe, I…” you trailed off, stopping yourself before saying what was on your heart. But only because you couldn’t say it. If you were not the Bachelorette, you would have told him that you loved him too.

“Thank you for telling me,” you said. “It means so much.”

“I just want to keep you informed with where my heart is,” he said.

You beamed at him and leaned over to kiss him. Even kissing him felt better with his feelings out in the open. When you parted, you were still smiling.

“So,” you said, reaching over to the table and retrieving an envelope there. “We have this little offer here, and I’d like you to read it.”

You handed him the envelope. He opened it up and read over the words once before reading it aloud with a little grin on his face.

“Y/N and Joe,” he began. “Welcome to New Zealand. I hope you’ve enjoyed the lush world of Hobbiton today. Should you choose to forgo your individual rooms, please use this key to stay as a couple in the fantasy suite. Chris Harrison.”

“What do you think?” you asked with a smirk.

“I’d love to spend the night with you,” he said, but you detected some hesitation there.

“But?”

“No buts,” he replied with a small laugh. “I just want you to know that I meant what I said before. There’s no pressure. We don’t have to do anything-”

You cut him off with a deep kiss.

“Joe,” you said. “I’m attracted to you. You make me feel so loved and desired. So, let’s go up to the fantasy suite and explore that more.”

He smiled. “Whatever you want, Y/N. I love you.”

You grinned wider at him. Then, taking his hand, you led him away and up to the main part of the hotel. Your suite was on the top floor so you took the elevator. For the whole ride, your heart was pounding. Your skin felt hotter each time he squeezed your hand. You were tempted to begin things right at that moment, but you had to wait until you were off camera.

After two agonizing minutes, the elevator dinged and opened its doors. You and Joe were both clearly holding back from running to the room. When you made it to the suite, he opened the door, and you saw the whole romantic set up. There were candles everywhere. A bottle of champagne sat on ice in the kitchen, with two glasses on the counter. Rose petals made a path from the front door to the bedroom door.

“This is beautiful,” you said, looking around.

“It really is,” he agreed. “But honestly, I wanna kiss you so bad, I can’t focus on it.”

“Well then,” you said. “Come here and kiss me.”

He made it to you in two strides, his lips claiming yours in the most heated kiss of your life. Your stomach lurched with fresh desire as he nipped at your bottom lip. You moaned into his mouth. He lifted you off your feet when you coiled your arms around his neck. Then he carried you into the bedroom, kicking the door shut. Finally, the cameras and producers were gone and it was just the two of you.

You were still kissing Joe when he set you back on your feet. You had become frantic with need for him. He chuckled into your kisses.

“Y/N,” he said, taking hold of your shoulders. “Y/N, slow down.”

You bit back a whine as he gently pushed you away.

“We’ve got all night,” he said. “We don’t have to rush.”

“The sooner we do it,” you returned. “The sooner we can do it again.”

He threw his head back and laughed. You smiled.

“Okay, we can go as many times as you like, but for our first time together, I really…” he trailed off. “I really wanna make love to you.”

“I’d love that,” you told him with a smile.

Your heart melted at his sentiment, but you had not lost any of the desire. You turned your back to him and moved your hair aside so he could unzip your dress. You heard him step toward you. Then his hands were on the zipper, the top of which was right at the nape of your neck. You gasped at the contact as your body begged for more.

Inch by inch, he lowered the zipper. You shivered when the air hit your back before Joe leaned down and kissed the newly exposed skin. You bit your lip.

He turned off your mic pack, which was at your lower back, and removed it, tossing it away. The straps of your dress fell from your shoulders. You faced him again. The fabric fell away from your body, revealing your bare chest to him. You hadn’t worn a bra. Joe sucked in a sharp breath as his eyes flickered down to your breasts before returning to your face.

“Like what you see?” you teased.

“Love it,” he said, pulling you into his arms again. “I love you.”

You giggled. “You can’t stop saying it.”

“No, nor will I,” he returned firmly.

You smiled again.

The way Joe made love to you was like nothing you had ever experienced before. It was slow, deliberate, and deep. He reached your very soul. He showed you the strength of his love with every kiss, every thrust, and every soft whisper of your name. Love was not just a word to Joe. It was something that required action. And you saw after that night that he was steadfast and strong. There was no doubt that he truly loved you. He showed you four times.

When you woke beside him the next morning, tucked safely in his arms, you smiled and hummed contentedly. You snuggled down closer. It almost made you wince, since your body was sore. It was the sweetest soreness you had ever felt. Joe shifted, eyes fluttering open. His smile was the only one that could match your own.

“Hey,” you whispered.

“Morning, beautiful,” he replied, voice low with the morning.

“How’d you sleep?” you asked.

“Wonderfully,” he said. “You?”

“The best sleep I’ve had in months,” you answered with a giggle.

“Good, then I did my job,” he joked.

You laughed again as he rolled half on top of you. He lowered his lips to yours. It was a soft and delicate kiss, since neither of you wanted to heat things up again without proper time. When he pulled back, he looked into your eyes.

“I think I could do this forever,” he said.

“What?” you asked.

“Wake up to you,” he said.

“Me too,” you returned.

You cupped his cheek in your hand. The urge to tell him your feelings arose again. But you didn’t want to confuse him or hurt him. On the other hand, you felt it so strongly. He deserved some validation, didn’t he?

“Joe, I love you,” you said, so quietly you wondered if you had even said it aloud. But the look on his face told you that you did.

His eyes widened at first. Then, his brow furrowed. He was wondering if he’d heard you right. Then, all that melted away into the biggest grin you’d ever seen on his lips.

“Y/N, I can’t tell you what it means to hear you say that,” he said. “I love you.”

“I love you,” you returned.

It felt so right like this. But then, reality set in. Joe had to return to his hotel. You had two other dates this week. Two other men, who you also adored. As you got up and dressed, you tried not to despair.

You held it together well enough until it was time for Joe to go. He had his backpack slung over his shoulder and he was standing by the door. You slid your arms around him and buried your face in his chest.

“I don’t want you to go,” you said, voice shaking.

He kissed the top of your head. “I wish I didn’t have to, baby.”

You held each other for a long moment as a lump formed in your throat. You sniffled, but tried to hide it, burrowing further into him. He still noticed.

“Hey…” he said gently, pulling away to look at your face. “Hey, don’t cry, honey, I’ll see you soon.”

He wiped a stray tear with his thumb. Then, he pressed his lips to your forehead. Slowly, he detached himself from you. He had to, or you would have held him there all day.

“See you later,” he said. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” you choked out.

He gave your hand one last squeeze before releasing it and walking through the door. You closed it behind him. You leaned back against it and sank down to the floor, pulling your knees into your chest. Your heart was aching, and you just hoped you hadn’t made a mistake by confessing to Joe.

You had to travel later that day, since your next date was hours away, on the coast. Missing Joe terribly, you made your way to Papamoa Beach, where you would have a date with Ben the following day. The thought of seeing Ben raised your spirits.

The morning of your date, you were feeling much better. You had so much to look forward to with Ben. He was fun and cheerful and had the sweetest heart. And this date was going to be really cool.

You met him on the beach, wearing just a pair of shorts over your bathing suit. Ben came out onto the sand, looking straight out of a magazine in his tank top and swim trunks. You waved to him and he jogged over to you, planting an enthusiastic kiss on your lips when he reached you. You beamed at him as you parted.

“So, what have you got in store for today?” he asked.

“Something super fun,” you told him. “Since you’re so active, I know you’ll love it.”

“Now, I’m very curious,” he said, raising his eyebrows.

“Come with me,” you said, taking his hand.

Together, you walked down the beach, where a tall, broad man with long dark hair was waiting for you. He was extremely tan, so you figured he spent most of his days out here.

“Hello, Y/N and Ben,” he said with a thick New Zealand accent. “I’m AJ and I’m your surfing instructor for today. Have either of you ever surfed before?”

“I have,” Ben said.

“I have not,” you admitted.

“Alright, that’s perfectly fine,” AJ said. “We teach all ages and skill levels. We’ve got some suits and boards waiting for you in there.”

He pointed to the building of the surf school. You and Ben went in and got changed. When you came back out, Ben looked you up and down before biting his lip. You stifled a giggle.

Ben: I’m having such a wonderful time on this date. Y/N looks amazing in that bodysuit, so I am so grateful tonight’s the fantasy suite because it’s getting harder and harder to keep my hands off her. Obviously, it’s all up to her, I’m thrilled just to hold her, but I am ready for more. To take our relationship further and grow more together.

You were each given a board and then you followed AJ. He gave you some instruction on the sand - and some important safety information - but before you knew it, you were in the water, paddling out to beyond where the waves were starting. AJ went over a few more basics, and helped you find your balance on the board.

Ben tried to ride a wave first, since he had done it before. He looked so good out there. He smiled, tongue poking out between his teeth, and he glided through the water on the crest of the wave. You wondered how many times he had done this because he didn’t seem nervous. He had clearly mastered the art.

You had no such luck. Even keeping in mind everything AJ told you, your timing was off when you tried to stand up, and the wave knocked you clear off the board. The ocean tossed you around a minute as the wave moved past you. Then you kicked up toward the surface. You sucked in air and wiped your eyes as you broke it.

You were already laughing along with Ben and AJ. You knew it looked hilarious. Ben’s smile was infectious as you climbed back on the board and paddled back to where he waited for you.

“It was a great try, love,” he said through his laughter.

“You’re just being nice, it was terrible,” you returned.

“Not to worry,” AJ assured you. “There’s still lots of ocean for you to try.”

You made several more attempts. Ben did as well, nailing it over and over again. You, on the other hand, were missing the mark. It got to the point where you were actually getting frustrated.

“Come on, love,” Ben said at last. “Don’t pout. You can do it.”

“Ugh,” you groaned, to his amusement.

“Try one more time,” he encouraged.

You met his eyes, and at the look on his face, your resentment ebbed away. He wasn’t being condescending or spouting empty words of praise. He really believed in you.

With a determined smirk, you got back on the board. You waited a minute or two before you saw it coming - the perfect wave. Eagerly, you began to paddle forward. You were going to get it this time. You had to.

You rode it until just before it crested. You popped up onto your feet. You didn’t fall! You were riding the wave! Adrenaline surged through you as you surfed - properly surfed! Your legs were wobbly, but you didn’t fall until the wave crashed, and you went down. But this time, you went down having accomplished the goal. When your head broke the surface again, Ben was already beside you, pulling you out of the water and onto his board.

“That was amazing, love!” he cheered.

“I did it!” you cried.

“You did it!” he affirmed.

He sat you down beside him and kissed you. Your mouths were wet and salty from being in the ocean all day, but you didn’t care. You had triumphed because he supported you. His hands found their way to the sides of your face as he deepened the kiss.

“Incredible,” he said.

You chuckled. “You were incredible. I didn’t manage to actually do it until the end.”

“Well, I’m bloody proud of you,” he said.

“Thank you,” you said, beaming.

After the lesson, you returned to shore to have a small picnic. It was just cheese and crackers with some wine. The suits and boards, you returned to AJ. Then you both sat on the blanket, realizing you were starving, and went in on the food.

“So, where’d you learn to surf?” you wondered.

“In California,” he said. “We had a series of matches out there, and in my down time, I picked it up. Then I got my whole team doing it.”

“Well, it was super sexy,” you told him.

“You’re way sexier,” he argued. “Your body in that suit was...incredible.”

You flushed at his words and under his gaze.

You chatted a little longer on the beach. Then it was time to prepare for the evening portion of the date. You were excited to be in a dress and makeup after Ben had watched you wipe out all day. Not that you minded being goofy around him, but tonight was big. You wanted to be beautiful and sexy.

You walked with him to a beach side bar that was reserved for you. The candlelight was soft and warm, and made you feel cozy despite the breeze. Ben pulled your chair out for you. You sat down together.

“Thanks for being so supportive today,” you said. “I was being such a baby.”

“No, you weren’t,” he assured you. “It’s natural to get frustrated at stuff like that.”

“You were still so amazing to me,” you said. “I appreciate you so much.”

“Of course,” he said. “I love you.”

You were convinced you’d never grow tired of hearing those words from his mouth. Once again, you were struck with the desire to say it back. But you refrained. You were already feeling guilty for telling Joe, and you didn’t want to do the same thing with Ben. You smiled.

“I feel like your hometown date went so well,” you said. “This is going in a direction that makes me excited. I feel so sure of you, Ben. I know it made me nervous when you told me that you’ve never been in love before, but I’m not now.”

“No?” he wondered.

You shook your head. “I can feel what you feel for me. And you show me every time we’re together.”

You took his hand and stared into his eyes. You felt the words coming up in your throat. Only, you couldn’t stop them. You felt them too powerfully.

“I love you too, Ben,” you said.

Inwardly, you kicked yourself. How did these guys make your resolve so weak? Not that you minded too much, but you felt like you were messing up. Like it wasn’t decent behavior for the Bachelorette.

Ben’s smile made your regret fade. It didn’t disappear entirely, but you felt better that you’d said it.

“I love you more,” he said.

“Oh, don’t start,” you joked.

You laughed together. When it died down, you squeezed his hand.

“We’ve come a long way,” you said. “This journey hasn’t always been easy, but I want to keep going with you.”

“I do too,” he said.

“So, there’s an envelope on the table,” you said. “Why don’t you open it and read what’s inside?”

He smiled - making your heart jump - and then reached over to pick it up. You waited with bated breath as he cracked open the seal and pulled out the card.

“Y/N and Ben,” he read. “Welcome to beautiful Papamoa Beach. I hope you enjoyed learning something new together. Should you choose to forgo your individual rooms, please use this key to stay as a couple in the fantasy suite. Chris Harrison.”

“What do you say?” you wondered.

“I say absolutely,” he told you. “How could I not want more time with you?”

You giggled.

Just down the beach from the bar, production had put together a glamorous hut. It sat a good ways from the shoreline for when high tide came in, but you could still see the ocean from the doorway. Inside, there was a gorgeous queen bed. Candles and twinkle lights illuminated the one room structure with a soft, warm glow. Rose petals dotted the white comforter. Champagne was already iced down and waiting for you on the side table.

“Is this glamping?” Ben teased.

“This is definitely glamping,” you replied with a smirk.

“There’s nobody I’d rather glamp with,” he said.

“Same,” you returned.

With that, he closed the door to the cameras. You turned off your mic packs first thing. A beat passed as you looked at each other. Then you collided. It was all frantic tongue and teeth at first, desperate as you were to be close. You felt Ben’s hands at the back of your dress. He tugged the zipper down and it fell away from your body. You shoved his blazer off his shoulders and then quickly got to work on the buttons of his shirt.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he breathed onto your neck as he kissed you. “You’re so beautiful. I love you so much.”

“I love you, Ben,” you sighed back.

You kissed his chest when you opened his shirt up. He wrapped his arms around you and held you close. It forced you to pause. You stood there together, you just in your thong and he was shirtless. Your chests pressed together made you feel his heartbeat. It matched your own. Hot desire coursed through you. You wanted more, but he held you firmly.

“Just a minute,” he said. “Gotta breathe.”

You rested your head on his chest. You realized that you needed to breathe too. So, you caught your breath together. As you slowly inhaled and exhaled, you felt yourself uniting with Ben. Your hearts beat together. Your lungs worked together. Your bodies could have melted into each other. It was a moment of true tenderness, where your heart met his.

As your breathing evened out, both your hands began to roam. Fingers brushed deftly over sweltering skin. It sent a shiver up your spine to feel the feather lightness of his touch.

“How do you want this?” he asked.

You held his gaze. His pupils were blown wide with lust, but they were still that charming shade of green. You smiled. His eagerness to please you was not something you were used to. No man had ever asked for explicit instructions.

“I want you in every way I can have you,” you told him.

“Maybe I should clarify,” he chuckled. “How do you want me first? Tell me what will make you feel best.”

You blushed. “Really?”

He shrugged and rubbed your back. “What can I say? I’m an athlete, I like to be coached.”

“Well then,” you replied. “You can start by kissing me again.”

“I’ll kiss you forever.”

He claimed your lips once more, passionately. As your desire grew, you found it easier to tell him what you wanted. Ben was an attentive and giving lover. He seemed to thrive on your instructions and requests. It showed you the kind of man he was. He would do anything in the world for you. Your happiness was his happiness. Your pleasure was his pleasure. Your love was his love.

You and Ben only made love twice because he spent so much time exploring each other. He was so intent on making you feel amazing - something he accomplished over and over again. You’d never had so many orgasms in one night. And each one made you see stars. Your love for Ben ripened into deep passion.

The next morning, Ben was awake before you. He rolled over and saw the morning light catch your hair, and he felt a pang of sadness. As much as he was enjoying this, his time with you was almost over. You had another date, and unfortunately could not spend the whole day together. Still, he watched you sleep a moment longer.

When he couldn’t stand it anymore, he placed a soft kiss to your cheek. Even asleep, you smiled. You stirred and stretched slowly. Finally, your eyes opened and you took in Ben’s familiar form.

“Morning,” you yawned.

“Morning, love,” he replied. “Sorry if I woke you.”

“You can always wake me with kisses, hun,” you assured him.

He smiled half heartedly and looked away. You rolled onto your stomach and propped yourself up onto your elbows.

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

“I’m just…” he sighed. “I’ll be very sorry to leave you today. I hate this.”

You cut your eyes away from him so he wouldn’t see you tearing up.

“I hate this too.”

He gathered you up in his arms, laying you on his chest.

“I know I’ll see you again soon,” he said. “But I also know there are still two other men in this. I just...I don’t know if...I don’t want to make you feel guilty.”

“I’m sorry,” you said. “I can’t promise anything right now. I don’t even know what decisions I’ll make at this point. And it’s so unfair to you because I know what all of y’all need right now is some validation, and I just...I’m not able to do it, and I’m so, so sorry.”

“Shh, don’t apologize,” he soothed you, kissing the top of your head. “S’alright. It’s just getting more difficult for me, and I want you to know where my head’s at.”

“I get that,” you said. “I appreciate you being so honest with me, Ben. Really. I wish there was something I could do to make it better, but even though I can’t, I want to know what you’re thinking. And how you’re feeling.”

“I’ll do my best to be open,” he said. “But I want you to do the same for me. As much as you can. The last thing I want is to be blindsided.”

“I understand,” you said. “I will tell you my feelings as soon as I can. I never want to hurt you.”

“Thanks, love,” he said.

You had some breakfast before he had to leave. It was another gut-wrenching goodbye. Things were more serious with Ben than you had anticipated. And now you had told two men that you loved them. It hit you suddenly that you were going to break someone’s heart. And you still had one more date left in the week.

You felt heavy going into your date with Gwilym. Once again, you had to travel a bit to get to where you were meeting him. As excited as you were to see him, you were also terrified. You knew how you felt about Gwilym, and it was strong. You knew he felt similarly, though he hadn’t said outright that he loved you. You needed to clarify everything.

You met Gwilym just outside your destination. He smiled widely at you, and you rushed forward to jump into his arms. He caught you as you wrapped your legs around his waist and kissed him deeply.

“Well,” he chuckled as your lips parted. “I missed you too.”

“I hope you’re ready for today,” you replied.

He set you down, but kept a hold of your hand.

“What are we getting up to?” he asked.

“We are at Polynesian Spa,” you explained. “We are going to get treated today and relax after all these crazy weeks. That sound good?”

“That sounds perfect,” he said.

You went inside together. You and Gwil got the full treatment. You started with facials, before moving on to a massage. Your body was physically relaxed, but your mind was sort of going wild. Luckily, the nature of this day helped you to forget about the stress of your situation. During your massage, you cleared your mind and let yourself live in this moment with Gwilym.

After your massage, you went out to a private pool that overlooked Lake Rotorua. The water was warm and soothing. You felt especially relaxed now after being pampered, and you just wanted to enjoy this time with Gwilym.

“I’m so glad we get to chill,” you said, moving closer and leaning into him. You rested your head on his shoulder.

“I am too,” he replied. “Has your week been difficult?”

“A bit,” you said. “I’m feeling the pressure of things even more now than I was before, and I know that feelings are going to get hurt and I just….this is getting hard.”

“I’m sorry, cariad,” he said gently, kissing your head. “We’re coming to the end. Your feelings are real. Of course it’s hard.”

“How are you feeling?” you wondered.

“I’m feeling really good about us,” he told you. “I feel like last week went well. My family adored you. Which affirmed my feelings a lot.”

“I liked your family a lot too,” you said. “Your mom mentioned how hard you took your fiance’s death and it showed me how much they care about you. I admire that.”

“Yes, I relied quite heavily on my family during that time,” he said. “I even stopped going to read to the children for a while. I was just...not at all myself.”

“It’s almost hard for me to imagine,” you said. “I feel like you’re such a wonderful person and you’re mostly positive.”

“Grief is a great complexity,” he said. “I still don’t understand a lot of what I went through. But I know that every step of my life has led me to you. And for that, I’m most grateful.”

You smiled and straightened up to look at him. Then you coiled your arms around his neck, splashing the water a little bit, and pulled him in for a kiss.

“I’m so grateful I met you too,” you replied when you parted. “I thank God every day for it.”

He kissed you again. You stayed there, making out with him, for what felt like hours. You didn’t feel the sun or the water. Just Gwilym’s mouth on yours. You swore you steamed up the pool with the heat of the kisses. It made you grateful that tonight was the fantasy suite. You were so attracted to him, and you wanted to explore the physical connection some more.

As the sun began to set over the water, it was time to get ready for the evening portion of the date.

Gwilym: I’m excited about tonight. Y/N and I have a wonderful connection. We’ve been strong since the beginning. Truly, I could see us at the end of all this. I’m still falling steadily in love with her, and I want to explore our relationship further. I want to keep working on our relationship forever, hopefully.

You met up with Gwilym at a bar that had been reserved for the two of you. As relaxed as you’d felt earlier, your body was now tense. You needed to have a serious talk with Gwilym about the relationship and find out where he stood.

You sat down together at a little table. He pulled your chair out for you, and you thanked him. Then, he took up his drink as he sat beside you.

“To a wonderful day,” he said. “And the most incredible woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.”

“Cheers,” you giggled.

You clinked glasses and you each took a sip.

“So,” you said, setting your wine down. “I feel like we need to talk about where we are and how exactly we’re feeling.”

“I’m alright with that,” he said. “Would you like to start?”

“Sure,” you said. “Gwilym, I’m definitely falling in love with you. You have stood out to me since night one, and I think we’ve had a really solid relationship. I appreciate your honesty, how dedicated you are to this, and your vulnerability. I know I can see a future with you.”

He smiled as you spoke.

“That’s lovely to hear,” he said. “I feel the same. We’re going strong. You’ve been as fair and honest in this whole process as you could, and I appreciate it. You make it so easy to be vulnerable with you because you are also so open. We’ve both really let our walls down. I fall more in love with you every day.”

You deflated a little. “So, that’s how you’re feeling. You’re falling in love with me?”

“Yes,” he told you. “That’s where my heart is.”

Your heart sank. So, he was falling behind. He noticed your expression shift.

“What’s the matter?” he asked.

You sighed. “I feel like….we need to be further along than this.”

“How do you mean?” he pressed.

“You were falling in love with me back in London,” you said. “If you’re in the same place, then it means we’re not progressing.”

He took a sip of his drink, swallowing slowly as he returned it to the table.

“Where do you think we should be?” he wondered.

“I don’t know if we need to be at a certain place,” you said. “But we should be further along than we were a couple weeks ago. We need to be going forward.”

“Just because I’m still falling doesn’t mean we haven’t made progress,” he argued. “I need time to know you more. For me, falling in love….it’s a long way down before I can get there.”

“I understand that,” you said. “But I still feel like we’ve just...plateaued since our one on one. And if we’re going to get engaged soon, then I need to feel like we’re climbing.”

He didn’t answer. His eyes remained fixed on the table. Your heart was beginning to beat wildly against your rib cage.

“Gwil, please, I -”

“Y/N, I can’t tell you that I’m in love with you while you’re still involved with two other men,” he said, cutting across you. “I want to be the one at the end of this who gets down on one knee, but I cannot fully give my heart to you until you can give yours to me.”

For a moment, it felt like all the air was sucked out of your body. It was such a confusing thing to hear. Did that mean that he was in love with you and he just wasn’t saying it? That felt like a betrayal, especially when he’d always promised to be honest with you.

“So…” you began, deciding to ask the blunt question. “Are you in love with me? It’s your pride that won’t let you say it because there are still two other guys here?”

He sighed. “That’s not it. I don’t think I can get there unless we’re getting there together. I’m not in love with you yet.”

“Gwilym, that doesn’t make any sense!” you cried. “You knew what this process was when you signed up for it. Don’t you think you need to be in love before you get engaged?”

“Yes, of course, that’s the idea,” he returned. “But, because this is a unique journey, I knew that I’d need to be actually proposing before I could feel like we can really love each other. I don’t have that confidence while the others are still here.”

“None of you can be absolutely confident,” you said. “I’m not even confident of what decision I’ll make right now. But you have to take a chance. I know my heart is being pulled in different directions right now, but if I don’t have confidence that you’re where I need you to be in order for me to accept a proposal from you...then I don’t know what we’re going to do, Gwil. Because I need to be in love before I can say yes to someone.”

“Joe and Ben...have they told you they’re in love with you?” he asked.

“You know I can’t tell you that,” you replied.

“Right, sorry,” he said. “But I am getting the impression that it’s not that we haven’t made progress, it’s that I haven’t made the same progress as they have.”

“This isn’t about them,” you said. “This is about me and you. Our relationship is not about what’s going on with the other relationships.”

“But you must compare them,” he said. “How else do you make a decision?”

“I make my decision based on what happens between each person,” you said. “Yeah, some comparison happens, but I evaluate everything individually.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t mean to call you into question. You’ve been an excellent Bachelorette, but that’s just the thing. You’re the Bachelorette. If your heart really is being pulled in other directions, then can’t you understand why I struggle to feel confident?”

“I do,” you said. “And I’ve been in your shoes, remember? I’ve been on the other side of this. But I wasn’t afraid. I let myself take the chance and fall in love.”

A beat passed. He once again, did not answer. You took his hand.

“I’m doing the same thing now,” you said. “I love you, Gwilym.”

He stiffened and squeezed his fingers around yours.

“I…” he trailed off. “I’m sorry. I just can’t get there like this.”

You took a shaky breath, choking back tears. “So, what’s going to happen with us? Where are we going to go from here?”

“I dunno, Y/N,” he said. “I just don’t know.”

To be continued...

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evakuality · 4 years

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Let’s talk about David. Again. Part two

Welcome to part two of ‘I had a fit of loving David and needed to share it with everyone’ - this is for my friend who asked me to do this literal months ago and who has waited very patiently for it to happen. Part one can be found right here.

So, we pick up after our road trip, when David is returning to Berlin with Matteo. We’ve seen him in his little bubble with Matteo a lot (they were really keen on updating their instagrams during that time), and we’ve seen just how comfortable he is now. They’re very relaxed with each other by the time they get back. We also see the type of pranking that characterises their relationship (and Matteo’s character) going forward. This seems to be mostly Matteo’s thing; he’s blossomed into a real little shit after his own issues in s3. But David is very happy to follow along, and we even see him later trying to prank the prank master. This is interesting because we often think of David as the one who takes the initiative, and indeed in s3 they passed this back and forth between them a bit with David initiating the kiss etc. But what we have here is someone who is comfortable with these people but not so comfortable that he’d actually plan a big prank/surprise like this one. He’s happy to go along with it, and to film what it looks like, but he’s not the one taking the lead.

When he does take the lead in this way (trying to prank Matteo with the sandwich), it’s with the one person who he has become totally comfortable with, and that makes a lot of sense. His instinct over the last few months has been to run and duck away and he’s not entirely over that. There’s still a wariness of sorts with people he’s not 100% on board with. Of course, he’s also happy and hugging people which carries on from the Abi prank and Abi ball stuff, but there is some reticence there; he doesn’t have the level of comfort with this group that Matteo does. In another recurring thing for this season, we also see him dragging Matteo away from doing something stupid and/or from saying something stupid and/or from being attacked for doing/saying something stupid. David does still have some of those impulses to keeping a low profile etc, and it must be somewhat frustrating having a boyfriend whose instinct is to tease literally everyone and make everything into a prank if he possibly can and thus continually getting himself into trouble.

We next see him making out with Matteo in a hallway, and it’s still an odd choice of scene, particularly the way they stop when they hear Kiki and Carlos as if they themselves weren’t literally just as into each other mere seconds ago. Still, it tells us some stuff about them - a lot of people have mentioned that after having spent all those weeks together on the trip, they’re still 99% with each other and draped all over each other. I think that’s at least partly because it’s still a new relationship, but also because David has his ‘safe person’ now and in situations that are a little threatening or uncomfortable he gravitates towards him. He does this more than once in this season even though we hardly see him. Here in the hallway, I doubt it’s much of the second side, but they are meeting two of the least familiar/comfortable people for David and so it could be there. But we also get more of how he is with Matteo. They sit there teasing each other as they play music to drown out Kiki and Carlos - all very much as it was in s3 ep 10. He’s very much in his comfort zone when he’s with Matteo.

Still, we also get more of his old personality. The biggest this when he’s hiding what his movie is about (and I have to say that Matteo not letting him get away with that is peak davenzi teasing; it’s really clear that without Matteo’s prodding David wouldn’t talk about what he’s doing). He’s a little embarrassed and ashamed maybe, of the ‘alien’ theme, and he’s trying to keep up his ‘cool’ image to Amira as he talks about it. He thinks it needs to be ‘better’ or more ‘authentic’ or something to be worthy of notice and so he tries to make it deep. But, again, Matteo refuses to let him do that, cheerfully throwing out the truth in to make David face up to things (this is, again, very much like the ‘I wanted to date a high school student’ stuff David did: they know exactly how to actually reach each other and get each other to push out of whatever they’re fearing, and I’d argue that in both cases this is fear from each even if they deny that).

That’s not the face of someone who’s comfortable and easy discussing this topic, and we can clearly see Matteo getting ready to push him (also, that’s definitely the face of someone who knows his boyfriend is going to make him talk about it and is gearing up for that). Once again, he has to hold Matteo back when he’s getting his ‘little shit’ on about how ‘exhausted’ Carlos must be. There’s quite a lot going on here when we look under the hood, so to speak, and David is very much not as free and easy as he sometimes wants us to think he is.

By the end, unsurprisingly, he is very comfortable with Matteo and they tease while they do the filming when Hanna comes to help them out. The interesting thing, though, is that he’s somewhat perfectionist about the film and he falls back onto his old methods: it’s not going as he envisages it, so it’s obviously trash. We see this as Hanna arrives, and he carefully checks to be sure it’s all set up properly etc. Matteo is teasing Hanna, and all the while David is anxiously playing around with masks etc in the background. When he does have his little breakdown about it all, he goes to Matteo for comfort.

The very interesting thing here is that he’s still trying to cut and run, wants to ditch his project as soon as it becomes a bit tough/doesn’t quite fit his vision. But as has become their way since the end of s3, Matteo just reverse psychologises him. This works and David does get back into it, but as we see later, the theme really didn’t do much for him and so he changed the entire idea. The fact that he got back into it says he’s not willing to give up and run away again even when it’s his first instinct (though it’s mitigated by him going to Matteo for comfort and support rather than ditching it all immediately on the spot), but we now see another side to that: he’s someone who has a strong pov and will change it after a period of consideration. He may have got support from Matteo to continue, and he didn’t let his instinct get to him in that immediate panic, but he was able to work through it and decide in a presumably less hasty way what he really wanted to be doing.

The other times we see him in s4 he seems more comfortable and we don’t really see quite the same level of vulnerability or the same instinct to run. But he still has traces of his past self. ‘There’s more than one red’ has strong undertones of ‘it’s called a collage’ and shows he’s getting comfortable with the boys and not just Matteo; that was a signature point in their relationship - the moment we see him dead pan teasing Matteo, and we see him doing it with the boys now too (also in the ‘just talk to her’ conversation at the end of s3). Then again showing how in tune he and Matteo are, he’s the one who picks up on what he wants immediately when Hanna arrives (of course, he was also at the conversation about Jonas even if he was fluffing around with his masks etc and so he has more reason than most to know why Matteo would be hustling them out of his place). I know people get a bit weird about his ‘you didn’t think you could leave without saying goodbye’ but it just shows how much he’s grown. It’s an acknowledgement that what he used to do wasn’t healthy, and a recognition that he has developed now. He’s had some hardships over this season, he’s felt anxious and discouraged but he hasn’t run even if he’s been tempted a couple of times. He’s learned that there are better things to do than that. The interesting thing here is that again he spends a lot of his time with Matteo in quieter moments. Obviously, part of this is because Matteo also needs some quiet time out, but it’s still a strong theme with them/him: this is their ‘safe’ or ‘comfort’ person and so they gravitate to each other for those moments.

Overall, David has always been on the outgoing side (witness all the instagram content, even at the start with Sara and Leonie), but he’s been closed off and nervous because he had a secret and he had that trauma associated with it from his previous school. But since he’s met Matteo and his friends and found their support along with his sister’s, he’s grown so much. He still has issues and hang ups and even though he has such a small amount of screentime in s4, we see them very clearly. They may not be quite the same (he’s not worried about being outed anymore, for example, because that’s already happened and he managed to survive it), but it’s not like we can’t trace the somewhat distanced person who preferred to keep everything hidden to avoid connection from s3 episode one through to the end of s4. His tendency to run away doesn’t come out physically anymore, but it’s still there. That’s still his initial ‘fight or flight’ reaction, and we see him having to push back against it. He does, generally with Matteo’s help, and that’s a good thing.

That he’s generally more comfortable around everyone else is testament to how well this group includes everyone. They welcomed Stefan in, after all, even Matteo who constantly harboured a desire to break him and Hanna up so he could get Jonas and Hanna back together. But the thing is, while David’s more comfortable with these people in general, it’s still Matteo who is his ‘one person’ - the one he turns to when things aren’t quite perfect. It’s Matteo he turns to for comfort and advice etc, and that’s remained constant since they met. Now that they’re together, it’s morphed obviously. But even from day one it was Matteo who could draw him out and give him a safe space to be. That hasn’t changed, even if the circumstances have. We saw him over a period of months and over a very rapid cycling of situations and events, so the fact that what he does is different is no surprise, but it’s really pretty cool that we can still see the boy from early s3 by the end of s4. His actions may change, he may be more outgoing and at ease, but his reactions and instincts remain.

#druck #david schreibner #my meta stuff

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awhitehead17 · 4 years

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Universal Signs

Chapter 3 / Previous Chapter

A/N:Just for the record for some of this story I will be making up things, such as names of places and different items. They're not overly important, but I'm trying to build the idea that it's slightly different to Earth and what humans would be used to in a way.

Also on AO3

Enjoy! :D

Flying the ship was basically second nature at this point. Kon had been learning to fly a variety of ships since he was born and this one was no different. Of course the other two also fly it, but he prefers to be the one to handle the controls.

Cassie often likes to navigate them, leading them from galaxy to galaxy as they go which Kon doesn’t mind because despite being able to fly ships, his sense of direction was horrendous. Bart doesn’t tend to fly or navigate, he finds it hard to sit still for long periods of time and gets bored easily, he will fly however if Kon or Cassie aren’t around to do it.

With a smooth take off, Kon gets the ship into the air and expertly flies it up and out of the atmosphere. Once they were safely away from the planet and once again in space, Kon shouts over his shoulder, “Right where are we off to now Cassie? What’s the next stop on our route?”

His blonde team mate comes over and stands beside him, her hair falling over her shoulders as she looks down at him, “Our next stop is two galaxies away, we need to gather up 50 bags of Hydrinain Seeds from the planet Romore.” She leans over and starts pressing buttons and typing in commands on the dashboard. “That’ll be where we can restock everything we need as well, the planet has a wide range of markets we can explore.”

Kon nods, he’s not exactly sure how she knows that but the knowledge is helpful and useful in the best ways so he’s not going to argue against it.

Once she’s done with the commands he takes a moment to study them, they were simply directions that needed to be followed and different bits of data from the planet they’ve just left. Kon guides the ship for a moment before activating the autopilot. Two galaxies away is a long way to travel, the autopilot allows Kon to be away from the controls until they reach close to their destination.

“Right, autopilot is on and I’ll check it every now and again just to make sure we’re on track. We’ve got a long while to go before we reach our destination yet.” He says standing up and looking at her with a smile.

Cassie nods, “Yeah, also don’t forget to write the report and check in. You know they hate it when we miss check ins.”

Kon rolls his eyes, he hasn’t forgotten. “Yes boss.”

She opens her mouth to retort but is interrupted by Bart who appears next to them, “Guys I think he’s dead. Did he die? We killed him!”

They look wide eyed at Bart who had his gaze set behind them. Snapping their attention that way they find their fourth passenger slumped on one of the seats. His head was resting on his chest, which really didn’t look like a comfortable position, and he wasn’t moving.

Kon looks back at Bart feeling slightly panicked. “Is he dead?” He looks back over and sure enough he hadn’t moved in the few seconds Kon looked away. The metal pole that Tim had been carrying around was grasped loosely in his fist on his lap

He certainly looked dead and Kon couldn’t believe it. Tim looked fine when they picked him up off the planet, his actions and speech made him sound healthy so what happened between then and now? It wouldn’t have been to do with leaving the atmosphere because the ship has been designed to circulate every kind of element every species in existence needs to breathe, therefore meaning there’s no way he died because he couldn’t breathe.

“No wait! His chest just moved!” Cassie blurts out, hitting them both as if to get their attention. Kon narrows his eyes at Tim’s chest but couldn’t see any movement.

“You sure Cass because I can’t see it.”

Cassie hits him again and looks at him, “Why don’t you use your hearing to see if his heart is still beating.”

Kon pauses and blinks. He hadn’t thought of that. He completely forgot he could even do that to begin with. Now feeling stupid he rubs his head with embarrassment, he had been too panicked to even think of it.

He focuses his hearing on Tim and moments later hears a steady beat. It was slow but firm enough to be deemed alive. Kon turns back to the others with a sigh of relief, “He’s alive and his heart is beating, it’s just slow, maybe because he’s apparently unconscious?”

“So he’s just sleeping?” Bart asks vibrating on the spot, looking between them all. “That’s an awfully weird place to fall asleep, how is that possible? But that’s great to know, at least we haven’t killed him!”

The three of them go quiet for a moment watching as Tim ‘sleeps’. It’s odd thing to see considering none of them three really need to sleep at all. It isn’t an unknown thing to them, just one of a rarity. Bart needs to sleep the most out of all of them but that’s for only a really short time before he’s back up bouncing around. He and Cassie hardly sleep at all, like once every four days maybe, probably longer. Their species aren’t really designed to rest like that.

It’s probably to do with Tim’s own species, once they work out what he was then that would give them some answers. Whatever Tim is, why did their ‘resting’ have to look like they were dead? There are lots of other ways to rest without looking like he had died.

“Bart go poke him. Wake him up.” Cassie tells him, nudging the ginger towards the slumped figure.

“Why me? Why can’t you do it?” Bart pouts.

“Just do it.”

Kon snorts in amusement as Bart heads over to Tim without further protest, he always gives in way to easily.

The two of them watch as their friend steps up beside Tim, clearly trying to work out the best way to wake him. In the end he stands just to the side of Tim and reaches out to poke his shoulder with a finger. When the first poke achieves nothing he does it again this time firmer. For a second time nothing happens. They hear Bart huff in annoyance before he changes tactics and simply shoves Tim with his hand, nearly pushing him out of the chair as he does so.

With a shout that startles them all, Tim snaps awake and jumps to his feet. His hand grips that metal pole tighter and he takes a swing at open air. It was a good thing Bart was a speedster because he would have been smacked right in the face if he hadn’t of moved out of swinging range quick enough.

The three of them stare with wide eyes as Tim frantically looks around for the threat. Kon takes a note on how tense he was now and even how fast his heart was beating, it was such a contrast to moments before.

After what feels like forever Tim seems to come back to himself, he meets their gazes and frowns. This time looking around more cautiously, as if trying to remember what happened. He lets out a quiet sound and drops his defensive position he had gotten into after jumping out of the chair, the pole falls to his side as he runs a hand over his head.

“Uh sorry. I, um, I forgot what happened for a moment. Did I fall asleep, cause that wasn’t supposed to happen, I guess I was just really tired, it’s been a long day and a lots happened, plus that chair is actually really comfy. And I’m rambling so I’m just going to shut up now…”

Tim snaps his mouth closed and looks at them apprehensively. There was an edge to him that Kon picked up on but he couldn’t work out what it was. He was still on the defensive side despite appearing relaxed, the grip on the pole hadn’t loosened even though it was down by his side.

Maybe he was scared? If that was it, Kon could totally understand because it was a scary thing to wake up not really knowing where you are or who you’re with. This isn’t exactly a normal scenario, if Kon was in his position he would probably be scared too.

He feels bad for Tim but was unsure on how to help. It’s not like he would be able to understand him considering their language difference and how Tim doesn’t have a translator.

Kon turns to his friends who turn to him at the same time. Cassie was frowning, “You brought him on here Kon, you help him.”

“I don’t know what to do! He’s scared, doesn’t trust us and is unable to understand us!” Of course he knew this when he convinced the others to agree to let Tim on bored but it’s now only really hitting how hard this actually could be.

Bart shrugs, “Why don’t we offer him something? Like a peace offering to show we don’t mean any harm. He just said he was tried and since he sleeps why don’t we offer him a safe place to rest? After that we can try and work out where he’s from.”

Kon scratches his head, “I guess. You go and lie down to rest don’t you? So he would need a bed to rest comfortably?”

“Yeah, he could have one of our rooms or even the seats down in the common room?”

“That could work, he may feel more at ease when he can relax comfortably.”

Kon turns back to face Tim who was staring at them with an intense expression on his face, like he was desperately trying to work out what they were saying. Kon would love to be able to clearly communicate with him but unfortunately they don’t have the right equipment in order to perform the procedure needed to implant a translator. That’ll have to be something they look into soon.

Kon heads for the exit and gestures for Tim to follow him. Once at the door he opens it up and waits for Tim to join him. As he’s done the last few times, Tim hesitates as he looks around at everything before finally moving. Kon sends him friendly smile and repeats the gesture before walking down the corridor to the opposite end where the common room was.

They reach the other end of the corridor and Kon opens up the door before walking through it, he keeps it open to allow Tim to enter after him. Understanding that Tim will look around at the surroundings first, Kon gives him some time before encouraging him further into the room.

It wasn’t anything special, the room was designed as a place to chill that wasn’t their own personal rooms or the cock pit. One side of the wall held a large universal transmitter screen which allows them to access any form of entertainment from around the galaxy they were currently in. Just opposite that was a long comfy seat, it stretches across the room and curls in at the ends creating an arc like shape. It was great for lying down on and resting.

Behind the seat, just opposite the door, was a large rectangular table was designed for multi purposes. The three of them use it for everything, games, a place to eat at or even a desk when they need to work and don’t want to be in the cock pit. After the table there was a large kitchen set up, with counters, storage places, cookers, coolers and it was all stocked with a wide variety of food. A long thin window was just next to the kitchen area which allows they to see out into space.

After several moments Kon points to the seat. Tim blinks at him, clearly not understanding. Sighing, Kon firmly points at Tim before pointing to the seat again. Tim continues to look at him but then his eyes flicker to the seat before coming back again.

He still looked like he was unsure on what Kon wanted. Kon pinches his nose in frustration, why was it so hard? Either he was terrible at getting his message across in gestures or Tim was incredibly stupid. He thinks for a moment before getting an idea.

Walking over to the seat, he jumps over the back of it and sits down on the plushy material. He sprawls out over it and leans his head back to mimic what Tim had been like earlier in the cock pit. After a few seconds he gets back up and looks expectantly at Tim, hoping he finally gets what he’s trying to tell him.

The guy raises an eyebrow, looking just as confused at before, “Are you saying I can sleep here? On this sofa?”

Kon doesn’t know what a sofa is, but if he means this seat then yes. At least he gets it! Kon smiles and nods is answer.

Tim makes a face of understanding, letting out a little “oh” as he does. He rubs the back of his neck smiling slightly, “Uh, thank you. I guess this is better than being upright in a chair.”

Now getting up from the seat, Kon nods again and gestures to Tim to take his place, he assumes Tim would feel more at ease if he wasn’t close by. Just as Tim begins to walk over and as Kon walks away a loud rumbling sound could be heard.

Kon straightens up and looks around for the source because that wasn’t right. He’s never heard such a noise before. It happens a second time and he feels himself getting worked up. Had something gotten onto the ship without them knowing? He’s going to need to alert the others as soon as possible because if it was a threat then they would need to fight it off.

Opposite him, now standing by the seat Tim makes a harsh noise and smacks his stomach, “Oh shush….”

Kon stares at him confused, especially when that rumbling sound could be heard again. Was that sound coming from Tim? What kind of species makes that kind of noise?

After hitting his stomach a second time, Tim looks up and meets Kon confused stare. He blinks as if surprised to find Kon looking at him, red appears across his face and he smiles shyly, “Uh sorry. Its been a little while since I’ve eaten, my stomach is just being annoyingly noisy.”

So that noise was coming from him. But from his stomach? He doesn’t understand that, did all different parts of his body make different sounds then? That was oddly strange. Tim was from a strange species.

After the initial shock of Tim’s stomach apparently making noises, Kon’s mind catches up with what he had said. He hadn’t eaten in a while, which implies Tim was hungry. Was his stomach making that rumbling noise because he was hungry? Kon would ask him, but sadly can’t because Tim wouldn’t understand him.

He glances over at the kitchen and holds a finger up to Tim before darting over there. He’s sure there’s something for him to eat. Not knowing what species Tim was makes it harder to know what he can and can’t eat but there surely will be something.

He rummages through the cupboards and cooler until he finds something. While he could make something with various of ingredients he figures Tim would want something packaged because of his trust issues at the moment, which was understandable.

In the end he finds and gives Tim a packet of dried out flat bites. They were from Cassie’s planet but they were a decent snack, he’s sure Tim wouldn’t mind them. He also gets Tim a bottle of water, nearly every species needs water so hopefully Tim’s does to.

Walking back over to where Tim was still standing, who had been wearily watching him, he holds the items out for the guy to take. Tim blinks at him for a moment before moving to place that metal pole down and grab the items from his hands.

“Thank you. You didn’t have to but thanks.”

Kon nods and smiles, he gestures to the seat once again before motioning to the door. Without further prompting Kon leaves the room, leaving Tim to do whatever he needs to, hopefully he’ll feel a little more at ease now in his own space and with some food at hand.

He walks back to the cock pit and finds the two others around the table looking over some papers. “This is going to be a lot harder than I thought.” He declares loudly while walking over to them and slumping down in a chair.

Cassie snorts, “Why am I not surprised?”

Bart simply looks curious, “What happened?”

“Well communication is difficult, we’ll need to look into that by the way, understanding gestures takes a little longer than it should. Also his stomach made a weird rumbling noise. I’ve never heard anything like it and actually thought something had snuck onto the ship before realising it was just coming from him.”

Bart pulls a face, making a “huh” sound and Cassie raises an eyebrow in question. “What was the rumbling noise?”

“I think it was because he was hungry. He smacked himself and told his stomach to be quiet so I’m not entirely sure. Maybe something else lives inside of him?” Kon says cocking his head to the side thinking about it. “I gave him your flat bites Cass, I hope you don’t mind. It’s hard to know what he can and can’t eat at the moment.”

She waves the comment off, clearly not bothered by it. “We really ought to work out what species he is if he’s going to be staying with us. While you were dealing with him, Bart and I started to go through our archives looking at what we have to try and figure it out. We used that he doesn’t have a translator as a starting point.” She tells him.

Kon perks up at hearing that, he straightens up in his seat and peers at the papers on the table, “What have you got so far?”

“Well in the short amount of time we’ve been looking we’ve been able to narrow it down to basically one option. We did consider him potentially being an Atlantean but he doesn’t show any signs of gills or webbed fingers so we ruled that option out.” Cassie explains looking at him. “We could be wrong though, his Caucasian skin makes it a bit harder to specifically work out what he is.”

Bart jumps in then, “We think Tim is a Human Being. Which is awesome because I’ve always wanted to meet a Human!”

Kon’s eyes go wide at hearing that. A Human Being? Was that even possible? “Are you sure?” He questions them.

Cassie sends him a knowing look, “We know what you’re thinking and we thought the exact same thing, but it’s the only option that makes sense.”

Kon frowns thinking about it. Humans are rare to find out in the galaxy. They’re considered to be one of the lowest species in existence at the moment because of how under developed they are. Kon’s never met one before but he’s heard a few stories about them and what they’re capable of. No one has much knowledge on them because they’ve barely made it into space travel, so you wouldn’t find them anywhere but on their own planet where they originate from.

However, Kon does know that Humans haven’t yet discovered the universal translator that every species has. It allows them all to communicate with no problems as it automatically translates any language into your own. Humans haven’t explored enough of the galaxy yet to have come across this, so if Tim was in fact a human, his lack of translator would make more sense.

Apart from that and what he’s heard, Kon doesn’t know a lot about the species. “How much information do we know about Humans, because my knowledge on them is very limited.”

Cassie sighs and sits back in her chair, “All I know is that they are a high maintenance species. Those who had talked about Humans on Themyscira used to all complain about how needy and underdeveloped they were. I didn’t learn anything besides that.”

Bart was nearly vibrating form where he was sat. “I know that they aren’t as developed as the rest of us are but my grandpa talked about how he once met one and what it was like and I’ve always wanted to meet one since! If Tim really is a Human Being then we should take this opportunity to learn about him, this is totally going to be crash!”

Kon shakes his head in amusement over Bart’s enthusiasm to the situation. It doesn’t help them much but it’s something that’s not hatred at least.

“Assuming that Tim is a Human then, do we have anything about the species in the archives?”

“Some,” Cassie tosses a small file over to him. It couldn’t have more than six pages in it but it’s better than nothing.

“Looks like we’ve got some reading to do then.” Kon says. At least this will help them understand Tim a bit more. And Kon isn’t going to lie, he’s curious to see how different Tim is and what a Human Being is like to be around. He’s never been in the presence of one, so if their interactions so far are anything to go by, this will be interesting.

#Universal Signs #Space AU #Tim Drake #Kon-El #cassie sandsmark #bart allen #core four #humans are space orcs #humans are weird #sleep #fanfiction #humour

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fangirl-imagines · 5 years

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Better//2019!Eddie Kaspbrak x Reader

A/N: Requested by @0hour9am, I hope this was what you were wanting.

Warnings: Mentioned canon emotional abuse by a spouse and parent.

“Myra! Myra honey, I-, Yes, honey I know but-, Myra-,”

You shook your head and knocked your fist against the open door to Eddie’s room. You couldn’t stand there and listen anymore. Eddie looked up at you wide eyed like he’d just been caught doing something embarrassing. You smiled reassuringly. He smiled back but it dropped at something that was said to him over the phone that you couldn’t hear.

“Myra, honey, I’ve got to go. Okay, yeah, love you too, bye!” He rushed out all in one breath and clicked end call, tossing his phone on the bed quickly. He turned to face you and smiled tensely. “Everything okay?”

You paused, you’d forgotten what you’d come to ask him. “Yeah, yeah I was just...Are you okay Eddie?”

He looked up at you in confusion and shook his head, crossing his arms. “I mean this has all been pretty insane but-”

“No, Eddie that’s not what I-,” You stopped and sighed, clapping your hands together and stepping further into the room. “I don’t mean are you okay with Pennywise and all of this. I know your not. None of us are. I mean are you happy? Outside of Derry, back home?”

Eddie tensed up, “Of course I’m happy! Why wouldn’t I be happy? You know whats not making me happy? Being here, I mean is Mike crazy? Asking us all here?” He laughed nervously and shook his head.

You stared at him, not buying it. “You were always a terrible liar Eddie.”

“Well, what does it matter to you anyway?”

You reeled back like he’d slapped you.

“Look Eddie you can’t possibly tell me you don’t remember the same things I’m remembering? You don’t remember our make shift prom when your mother wouldn’t let you go? That friendship bracelet I made you that you would never take off? Our hiding place by the barrens we use to sneak off to?” You shook your head. Eddie had to pull his gaze away from you. “You can’t tell me you don’t remember feeling what I’m remembering feeling again? Eds?”

Your plea was silent but he heard it. He pressed his lips together and closed his eyes tight. You resisted the urge to reach out and comfort him.

He opened his eyes shook his head at you, “Yes, yes I remember! I keep remembering. But you know that was a long time ago. We were kids then.” He sounded more like he was trying to convince himself than you. “Do you know the odds of ending up with someone you dated in high school? Its-”

“I’m not talking about us being together Eddie. I know that’s not an option right now anyway. I’m talking about you being happy. Not content, not use to it, not safe, just happy. Really, truly happy. Because that’s what you deserve more than anything. No matter what your mother or your wife tell you.”

“You don’t know my wife.” He whispered sadly.

You shook your head, feeling sadness eating away at you for the strong, wonderful man you knew Eddie to be. He didn’t deserve this. Any of this. He deserved so much better.

“No, but I knew your mother and judging from that phone call I just walked in on there’s not much of a difference.”

“I love my wife, Y/N.” He answered without meeting your eyes.

You know he didn’t say it to hurt you but it still stung. You pushed that hurt down though. This wasn’t about you.

“I’m sure you do Eddie. Just like I’m sure you loved your mother. But that doesn’t make it healthy love. Healthy love isn’t someone trying to control you, it isn’t someone telling you that you can’t make it without them or telling you how stupid or helpless you are.”

He cleared his throat and blinked his eyes. You knew you’d hit the nail on the head. God, you hoped you never met Myra Kaspbrak because you wouldn’t be able to control yourself. Eddie didn’t need your anger right now though.

“Eddie you’re so much stronger than you think you are. I know it’s been a long time since we’ve even thought about each other but I know that hasn’t changed. You’re so smart and strong and so much more capable than you think. I’m so sorry that she tries to tell you you’re not but she’s wrong.”

You didn’t clarify if you were talking about his mother or Sonia. You walked forward and squeezed his shoulder gently and softly trying to comfort him. He winced slightly and your heart ached at the action. You let your hand fall away.

“You’re a grown man Eds, you can make your own decisions. But please remember that whatever you decide, you’re not alone. Losers stick together.”

Eddie nodded and tried to smile at you. You had to leave though before he saw you start to cry too. Leaning up on your toes you kissed him gently on the cheek and rushed out of the room.

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plutohimself · 3 years

Text

So I saw these two posts a couple of days ago about Alex’s anxiety and they’ve been sitting with me, so I’m gonna write something about it. I won’t tag the OPs or reblog with comments or whatever because it’s not a call-out or something I want to start an argument over. But, I feel weird about how the posts characterize Alex, Willie, and the boys in these headcanons.

Post 1:

...canonically Luke and Reggie aren’t very good at dealing with Alex’s anxiety [and his] experiences with being anxious around his friends and how he started just leaving when it got bad because Luke and Reggie didn’t know how to help him and he could tell it made them uncomfortable and he got used to just leaving and dealing with it on his own cause that was better than risking them making it worse.

...[Willie doesn’t] belittle or downplay his anxiety at all and Alex realizes how harmful Luke and Reggie’s reactions have actually been for him.

Post 2:

We’ve been talking today a lot about how the boys handle or don’t handle Alex’s anxiety vs how Willie handles it ... it would be nice to see Alex call them out for it next season and for there to be growth for them and for them to learn to be better ... I don’t know how anxiety disorders and such were handled/thought of in the 90s, but I doubt it’s great. So… what if Alex doesn’t even know what it is. Doesn’t know why he feels the way he does.

That would make a lot of sense as to the boys lack of tact and sensitivity vs Willie who ... is more up to date on mental health things. This would also explain why Alex hasn’t already called them out on it because ... he seemingly has no real qualms about calling them out on shit when he feels the need to. I think Alex has a good sense of self worth and isn’t willing to put up with shit from people ... So I think if he actually knew what was going on with him, he wouldn’t let the boys behavior slide.

I want to be clear that I think “Reggie and Luke could learn to support Alex better” is something I unambiguously think is true of their dynamic. It’s the language about their reactions being harmful, or of them belittling/downplaying his anxiety, and of Alex “call[ing] them out” or not “lett[ing their] behavior slide”. This feels... uncharitable?

Things we know: Alex is pretty aware of his anxiety - as anxiety, not just “I’m a generally high-strung person” or whatever. In the 90s, there was still a lot of stigma around talking about mental health - I’m going to point to The Breakfast Club and Degrassi Junior/High as particularly notable example of this, even though they’re from the late 80s. Allison in TBC is literally called “the basket case”, and several of Degrassi’s characters took pains to avoid being looked at for their mental illnesses or other personal issues. Attitudes toward mental health treatment changed significantly through the 90s (nevermind how it was always viewed in LA & the entertainment industry, which is its own discussion of public image), but not so much by 1995 that we can assume it was significantly different. So for Alex to state outright that he has anxiety is both self-aware and something he’s clearly shared with the other boys.

Speaking of which, in the 90s, there weren’t quite the kinds of public awareness about healthy coping methods and treatments the way we do now, both on and off-line. I’m sure there were self-help books at the library, but I can speak with some confidence on self-censoring behaviors in library environments when seeking socially taboo topics. Namely, that people don’t if they think they can get by without that knowledge or if the cost of obtaining it (being seen) is greater than the cost of having it. In that, I think that Alex probably did not generally actively seek out information about anxiety treatment, although given the sheer force of his personality he probably would if he thought he needed to. But... neither would the other boys.

Finally, another thing we know is that Alex’s relationship with his parents was Not Good, for whatever reason. The boys are the only support he has, although he doesn’t ever express that he feels quite as deeply about it as Reggie or Luke does (not to say he doesn’t, but they’re the ones being openly dramatic about it). So in that, I think we can safely say that Alex is taking what he can get from them.

All this to say: it feels extremely odd to me to judge Luke and Reggie for not being better at supporting Alex in managing his anxiety. For one, they’re doing the best they know how, and as the one post points out, Alex would absolutely tell them something isn’t helpful. But two, this is the only support Alex is likely getting. I think that’s crucial. Alex isn’t letting anything slide or not discussing it with them, he’s taking the support he can get from people he trusts to take care of him.

I also think it’s unfair to contrast them too strongly with Willie. As much as I like the ship, I think it’s important to note that part of the reason they click is that Willie’s approach happens to match Alex’s speed. Sure, we can say that perhaps Willie knows more, but that’s never demonstrated. As far as we know, Willie is just that chill of a person. Does that work better for Alex in moments of anxiety? Sure, we see that demonstrated. Does that inherently shadow his bond with the other two boys? I’m... not sure that it does.

There was a third post (that I can’t find) (found it) that talked about how in “Edge of Great”, Reggie tries to joke when Alex talks about Willie, and Luke brings the topic back to music, and that shows how Luke is very bad at this. But that didn’t feel like Alex’s anxiety manifesting? That seemed to me like two guys who saw their bro down about love, and were trying to cheer him up. Reggie told a joke - as he does - to lighten the mood (the novelization has Reggie in a POV chapter mention he does this deliberately). And Luke tries to remind Alex that he’s got lots of things that make him great. These are... perfectly normal, if not especially useful, things that people say after a breakup? There are probably other readings of that scene, but “Luke and Reggie aren’t as helpful as they could be, in a scenario where anxiety is probably also a factor” doesn’t feel like “letting it slide”.

If or when they learn better support skills, it won’t be a matter of Willie teaching them or Julie laughing. It will probably be because Alex - as a friend - will tell them “x will help more than when you do Y” and Luke and Reggie, as friends, will listen and want to do better. We, as people in this world, can always do better, but we can’t predict what will help. We can only do our best to listen and respond when we are asked to do so.

To see Luke and Reggie as acting deliberately against Alex’s best interest or against his wishes/needs, and then imagining Alex’s reaction as isolation or anger, makes me kind of wonder: is this how people imagine how friendships are, or should be?

That feels strange and uncomfortable to me.

#jamieandthephantoms #fandom meta

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salmonthestoryteller · 5 years

Note

It’s cold. Is it supposed to be this cold? Malex spooky prompt.

I combined your prompt with the first week of All Hallow’s Roswell - Hauntings (locations) and Possessions (people), plus it’s a continuation of…

Two Plus Two Equals…

Four Minus One…

A Roswell New Mexico Fanfic

Michael hadn’t thought anything was odd at first. He kept misplacing things, but he put it down to not being used to having so much room. Certain rooms in the house always felt cold to him, but the house was old. It was possible certain walls weren’t properly insulated. He made a mental note to check into it, but it seemed like a minor concern.

Then Alex started accusing him of moving his things, and he knew he hadn’t touched them. Not physically. The suggestion he was doing it subconsciously didn’t sit well with him. His powers were only hard to control in moments of anger, that had been true even in childhood, and he wasn’t angry. If anything, he was the happiest he’d ever been. He didn’t want to believe he could suddenly develop some sort of issue with his abilities. But the fact was, Alex’s crutch hadn’t moved across the room on its own. He moped on Max’s couch for hours, stubbornly refusing to talk about the fight between Alex and him.

Liz was not as indulging, and after she arrived at their home started pestering him with questions. He eventually secured the promise he could stay for the night before he caved in and told her what was going on.

“How large were the items that you noticed being misplaced?” Liz was in full science mode even as she forced him to make supper with her and Max. Apparently, if he planned to eat supper with them, he had to help make it. A part of him would have protested that Isobel never made him do that, and had in fact barred him from her kitchen. But he wanted to have Liz’s opinion on what was happening at the house, so he chopped the vegetables she put in front of him without complaint.

“Small items. Keys. My hat. My notebook once.”

“What about Alex’s items?”

“I’m not sure what items he lost. He said his crutch was against the far wall.”

“Anything else odd happening?” Liz grabbed one of the sliced pieces of green pepper of his chopping board to munch on.

“Things are falling. Pictures off the walls. Things fall off the kitchen counter.”

“Huh.”

“Maybe you have a ghost.” Max suggested from where he was setting the table.

“Right, Max.” Liz rolled her eyes.

“In horror novels, poltergeist activity often are early clues of a haunting.”

“Well, there have been no random stacks of objects.” Michael informed him.

“I said horror novels, not B rated paranormal movies.” Max responded.

“Hey, they’re based on true stories.”

“Can we go back to the scientific side of things?” Liz broke in.

“Please, do.” Michael told her.

“You only lose control of your powers when you’re angry.”

“Yeah, exactly, but I’m not angry.”

“But things are moving, and you do have telekinetic abilities. Logically, it would make you the culprit.”

“That’s what Alex said!” Michael slammed down the knife, glowering at the cutting board as if it were to blame for the problem. “But I don’t lose control of my powers unless I’m angry, and I’m not angry!”

Liz shot him a pointed look.

“I haven’t been angry.” Michael corrected, though his shoulders relaxed again, and his look became more petulant than anything.

“Look, you’ve had to keep a tight rein on your powers for your own safety for a long time.” Liz reminded him. “But now you have your own house, and you’re with someone you trust. Someone who knows your secret. Maybe this issue isn’t because you’re angry. It’s because you feel safe, and your powers are leaking out when you are at your open. During sleep.”

“…That makes more sense than I like.” Michael sighed, dropping his chin down onto his chest. “Okay, how do I stop it?”

“We can run some tests. Maybe some baselines while you’re awake. And then again while you’re in an REM sleep.”

“Great. Back to being a labrat.”

“If something is going on with your powers, we need to know about it.” Max pointed out.

“Why aren’t you randomly blowing up stuff in your sleep? You and Liz have been doing the living together thing longer.”

“We have blown things up before.” Liz’s grin was wicked. Max burst out laughing.

“Gross.” Michael complained. “I could have done without those details.”

“That wasn’t detailed, I can give you detailed.“ Liz offered.

“No.”

“It was really hot.”

“Stop.”

“Do you want to guess which room we were in?”

Michael threw a handful of vegetables at her.

——

"I’m sorry.

I spent the night at Liz and Max’s. She and Kyle are going to run some tests to see what’s going on with me. I’ll be here all morning, but I’ll bring lunch home.”

Michael sent the text off as Liz wired him up. Kyle was there already, having brought what equipment Liz didn’t have. The two of them had slowly stocked up on equipment over time, seeing as they were pretty much the only alien qualified doctors around. They’d already drawn blood, and Kyle was glancing at the result in the microscope.

“What’s the verdict, Doc? Will I live?” Michael joked.

“You’re still an alien.” Kyle rejoined.

“Too bad, I was hoping I’d mutated.”

“Nothing seems unusual about your bloodwork. You’re a healthy alien.”

“Okay, first we’ll get a baseline on your readings, and then you’re going to try to fall asleep.” Liz told him, moving to sit down and record whatever the monitors on the table were showing in her notebook.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep with this stuff on.” Michael admitted.

“Just try. If we can’t get it today, we can plan a different day. Use a type of sedative that works on your biology. But, I’d honestly feel better if Isobel was here for that.”

Michael glanced at his phone, but so far Alex hadn’t texted back. He had the day off, so maybe he was sleeping in late?

When he attempted to fall asleep per Liz’s instructions, he expected it to be difficult. Instead, he slipped into unconsciousness almost instantly.

—–

The house looked different in his sleep. Newer. He couldn’t remember what color they painted it, and a thick mist obscured the landscape. It made no sense, but then he knew he was dreaming. He entered through the front door, only to find the mist filled the inside rooms as well.

“Alex?” He called out, but didn’t receive a reply. He searched the rooms - the kitchen, the den, the downstairs bedroom they used most often. Alex wasn’t anywhere to be found.

It’s just a dream, he told himself. It didn’t mean anything that he couldn’t find Alex, but he could feel his heart begin to pound heavier in his chest. “Alex!”

He hurried up the stairs. The mist swirled about his feet as he began to go room by room, searching - feeling more and more desperate. “Alex!”

The whispers had started out small, but they began to get louder the farther he went. He couldn’t make out words, and yet he felt as if they were so loud he should. When he got to the last room, a familiar figure stood at the window overlooking the land below, and he sighed in relief. “Alex.”

Alex didn’t turn, didn’t look at him - he continued to gaze out the window.

“Alex?” He tried to step into the room, but suddenly a man appeared out of nowhere right in front of him - his face unfamiliar.

“He’s mine!”

The door slammed shut.

—–

“Alex!” His eyes shot open, and he sat up. He was on the couch at Max’s, and Liz was by his side a moment later.

“Michael, are you okay?”

“I just…” He looked around the living room, sunlight pouring in through the windows - so different from the misty horror of the nightmare it was disorienting. “I don’t know.”

“It’s okay.” Liz reassured him.

“How long was I asleep?”

“Not long. Maybe half an hour.” Kyle had risen from the table, but had hung back to allow him space.

“I’ve never had a dream like that before.” He admitted.

“With everything we’ve all been through, there’s nothing unusual about nightmares.” Liz pointed out.

“Yeah, but this was…” He glanced at his phone, and felt a chill when he didn’t see any notification light. “Alex didn’t text me back?”

“I didn’t hear it if he did.” Kyle told him.

“Maybe this wasn’t the best day to run the test.” Liz started to peel the sensors off of him. “Why don’t you go see Alex? We can try again later.”

“Was there any unusual spikes?” He asked her.

“There were some spikes, but you were having a nightmare. We would need a normal REM reading to compare because of your biology.”

“Right, of course.” Michael continued to stare at the phone - willing it to show a message notification that never came.

—–

Despite the promise in his text, Michael didn’t stop for lunch. The dream plagued him, and when he parked in front of the house a part of him was irrationally grateful to see no mist or fog around it. He entered the front door, glancing around - there was no immediate sign of Alex in the living room, but that wasn’t unusual. They’d converted one of the downstairs rooms into a study for him, and he spent more time there than the other rooms.

The house felt chilled, and Michael noted that no fire was burning in the fireplace. That seemed strange, as Alex often lit one when he was home. His SUV was outside, though, so he was almost certain he was still home.

He glanced into the fridge, confirming that - yes - they did need to go shopping or eat lunch out. Maybe Alex would go to the Crashdown Cafe with him. He just didn’t want to stay in the house today, even though he knew it wasn’t logical. Liz was right, nightmares weren’t unexpected given everything that had gone on in their lives - his and Alex especially. Illogical or not, though, he was starting to feel uncomfortable. He heard the creak of the floorboards from the hallway, and turned - expecting Alex - but no one was there.

“Alex?” He called out, but no response came. He stepped out into the hall, but didn’t see anyone, but the creak came again from the living room. He followed the sound, but the room was also empty. The front door was open, and he glanced around suspiciously, moving forward slowly to get a look out the front window. No cars were outside, and he didn’t see anyone on the porch.

Closing the door, he locked it, feeling chilled again. When he turned, Alex was directly behind him. “Shit!” He placed his hand over his loudly beating heart, taking in a steady breath. “You scared the crap out of me, Alex.”

“Who was outside?” Alex asked him, his eyes on the front windows. There was something odd about his tone. It seemed flat. Maybe he was still angry with him?

“Nobody, I must not have shut it properly.” Michael assured him. Alex didn’t say anything in reply, just moved away toward the kitchen, Michael followed him. “You didn’t reply to my text.”

“No.” Alex was studying the room slowly, as if looking for something.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t stop for lunch. I was worried. I had this strange nightmare and…” The temperature in the room dipped, and he rubbed at his arms. “It’s cold. Is it supposed to be this cold?”

“Tell me about the nightmare.” Alex’s voice still sounded odd, and he still wasn’t looking at him. Something about the whole situation was starting to feel wrong.

“Alex, are you still mad at me?” He reached out a hand to touch his shoulder, and the next moment he was flying through the air and slamming against the wall. Instead of falling, he stuck fast - as if an invisible force was holding him there.

Alex turned to face him, and Michael felt a chill run down his spine. On the worst night of his life, a stranger had looked out at him from his sister’s face. It had haunted his nightmares for years. Now a stranger was looking at him out of Alex’s eyes, and he was certain it was a sight that would never leave him.

“Alex doesn’t need you anymore.” It didn’t sound like Alex at all. He didn’t recognize the voice coming out of his mouth any more than the look in his eyes. “Alex is mine.”

End…?

#allhallowsrnm #allhallowsroswell #roswell new mexico #rnm fanfic #spooky prompts #prompt fic #malex #rnm asks

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shadowofthelamp · 5 years

Text

@poppun-chan submitted:

Today has been tough, so that means we’re distributing another happy ending tonight (fun fact if you look closely at the opening ceremony scene you can spot Gaz standing on the podium):

Twix gasped happily as she saw her human dad, her real one appear in front of her. “Dad, you’re here!” she called as she threw her arms around him “We’ve been trying to find you for days, I’m so glad you’re safe” he said as he returned the hug “Come on Twix, let’s go home” as much as she’d love to leave this horrible world behind there was something she still needed to take care of.

—-

Soon the two of them were standing in the dimly lit laboratory, Twix was right, Dib had been able to fool the I.D. scanners his alternate self had installed, however he wasn’t ready for what he saw.

Zim was there, emaciated and tired looking from years of expeimentation with half of one arm missing; why did his 11 year old self ever want this? The Zim’s remaining arm was wrapped protectively around this world’s Twix, slightly more healthy looking than her parent but a few inches shorter than his own daughter, likely from malnutrition.

He didn’t know how she was made, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know, but it broke his heart seeing the way the pair looked at him, how afraid they were.

His thoughts were interrupted by his Twix “I know you’re scared, but I promise he won’t hurt you” she explained to the others as she reached her hand out “In my world he’s really nice and we’re all happy, so please….come with us”

Both hesitated for a moment, while the Dib had some unfortunate resemblances, they trusted the Twix, and this Dib did have a look of kindness their’s didn’t. Besides, nothing could be worse than here. They both nodded to each other before Twix reached out and took her sister’s outstretched hand.

A second later the Dib had wrapped his trenchcoat around them and scooped all three of them into his arms before running for the exit; amazingly they made it to the machine without security so much as blinking at them, likely assuming it was their boss. The smaller Twix looked around wide eyed, she’d never been outside the lab she was born in, and now the first time she sees the sky she can almost touch it as she and her father leave their old lives behind.

—-

A few minutes later Zim’s nervous pacing around the living room stopped when he saw the machine appear and his family climb out. “My Smeet!” he called happily as he pulled his daughter close “I’m so glad you’re back! My-”

Whatever he had planned to say was cut short as he spotted the other two passengers “….What….What is happening?”

The other Zim looked around the alternate version of his old base which somehow felt foreign to him now; as did the healthier, more vibrant version of himself, one that still had the fire he’d lost years ago. His anxiety was calmed as he was greeted by somebody he never expected to see again; he was almost knocked over as a tiny robot ran up and hugged him. His Twix qietly petted the robot with her little antennae perked up in curiosity and he wrapped his newly free arm around him. He’d missed his Gir.

—-

After receiving a nice meal, warm bath and change of clothes, the two escapees were seated in the living room of another house when a tall man walked in. “You wanted to see me, Granddaughter?” he said warmly, the taller Twix nodded before explaining the situation, or rather the cover story they’d been given.

They were her “foreign” Father’s relatives, who had been held in a lab for years during a war and subjected to experiments, one of which lead to the creation of her “Cousin”. The other genetic donor was a worker at the lab that happened to have a very similar face to her other Father, that was why he wasn’t here and why they were meeting him here instead of his workplace. ‘Dad and labs make then nervous’ she had said 'Now they just need somewhere safe and quiet to live, somewhere far away’

The Professor listened to her story in unreadable silence before suddenly rising to his feet “That fiend!” Twix was startled; she’d never seen her grandfather be genuinely angry before. “Science is about making new discoveries to create a better world, not….this” he said, gesturing to the huddled family before angrily muttering about non-volluntary human test subjects and experimenting for the sake of experimenting while kneeling down to eye level.

“I’m so sorry about what happened to you" he offered sympathetically “I promise were aren’t all like this” This world’s Dib had said the same thing.

Zim nodded slowly “I know” his eyes were wide from realisation: he knew this man. In his old world he worked as a low ranking assistant or custodian, he had been the only one to offer any help delivering Twix, and would sneak them extra food and blankets, even the odd book now and then.

“May I?” Zim was pulled from his reverie and noticed the man holding his hand towards what remained of his left arm, he nodded and the man gently examined it. “Yes. Yes, I think I could work with this” he smiled at Zim “If you want, I could build you a functioning prosthetic arm” he offered before pulling up his sleeve to reveal his own replacement limb “I have experience with this sort of thing”

—-

A few months later escapee Zim was sitting at his desk in his new home, finishing work on a project. He had been surprised at how quick the process had been, in just a day or so they were in their new home, with a full set of furniture no less. The Professor had even stayed a few days to make sure they were settled in and make some final adjustments to Zim’s arm.

He’d hired him as well, while Zim was understandably put off biology he was still fond of robotics, he’d been working to revive Gir in his spare time, too; he had kept Gir’s A.I. chip in his Pak all these years and the head was almost ready to receive it now, he and Twix will have so much fun together. The Professor had also been impressed with his work in astronomy, and he’d started taking a few botany projects as well; Twix loved them and was always asking questions and putting together her own observation journal. He even felt a little of his old spark return.

“Dad, I’m home!”

His Twix is almost unrecognisable from the scared little girl she was when they first arrived; while she still didn’t like sleeping alone at night, she was now blossoming into a bright eyed & curious child and was starting to become more comfortable around people. She looked healthier too, he proudly noted that she was starting to outgrow the hand-me-downs the other Twix had given her as the two of them sat on the sofa.

Twix sat in her father’s lap with her head resting against his chest, they often sat like this when they still lived in the lab to help her feel safe, but now it was more to have some quiet time to recharge after school. “Guess what?” she asked as she settled into a comfortable spot “Marie’s parents offered to take me to the fair this weekend, they said you could come too, do you want to?”

Zim smiled warmly at his Smeet as he stroked her hair lovingly “I’d like that”

In another world, a human with the body of a man and the mind of an angry 11 year old is sitting atop a moose whose unenthusiastic expression contrasts with the mood of it’s passenger and the cheering crowd. He may have been annoyed that the alien & hybrid disappeared, but he knows about the coming invasion now, it doesn’t matter. Elsewhere his father smiles bittersweetly as he cleans the lab, he may not know where she is, but his granddaughter made it, and that’s enough for him.

In another country the local Zim is informing his leaders that there is now another Zim living on Earth and asking if they would like his contact information. He happily misinterprets their stunned expressions and insistence that his calls are “more than enough” as a compliment.

And in a few days this Zim & his daughter will go to a fair for the first time where they’ll watch shows by the most adequate performers a shoestring budget can hire, win cheap wall-eyed stuffed animals, and discover the joys of cotton candy.

But for now he’s just glad to hold his daughter close and know that she is happy and safe, they both are.

______________

Shadow: YOU MADE IT BETTER... gah, this is all really, really great! Thank you so much! The idea of Zim getting a job and something to do and WLOD Twix getting to go to school, WLOD Membrane actually kind of helping them... this is so nice.

#aip #aip wlod au #aip time au #iz #submission #poppun chan #gift #for me #zim #twix #dib #membrane

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