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snowdrop-ivy · 6 months

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Chasing the Clouds: A Journey Back to The Beef | 1

Summary: Mikey left the restaurant to Carmen, Natalie, and you.

Trope: Second chances

T/W: Cursing, unresolved mental issues, trauma, suic!de, angst, and smut.

Word count: 4695

The sound of the alarm woke Carmy. 4:00AM. He had this dream on how things were a year ago, how he was in a different place being berated by the head chef. The time he always woke up everyday since he decided to move and leave everything behind. He waited for the alarm to finish to listen to the voice very familiar to him. He sat up on his bed and lit a cigarette before heading to sit in front of the window to look at the city lights Chicago has to offer him. There were little sounds he could hear that bothers him. The sound of the train. Kids laughing at the street. And your voice. The message you left him before cutting him off completely for bailing on you. Carmy played it one more time, as close to his ear as it can get.

Hey…

I know you're off and I know you can hear this so I'm just gonna say this one last time.

I miss you.

I miss how we used to be. How we used to be friends. How you and I would stay up and talk about everything. I know things got messed up when you left but I think what you don't know is you also left me. For no fucking reason. And the craziest thing is that I trusted myself you wouldn't do that. That you would not bail on me like your brother did to you but you did.

But you did… You fucking did it, Carm. And I still miss you. Every fucking day and I wish I can lock our memories in letters and drown myself in ink of you. God, I can fill empty canvases with your paintings because all I fucking see is you. But then I realized that after that, life's too fucking short to dwell on it. So if you want us to stay that way, that's okay. We'll each have the chance to be happy on the things we like and the person we love. And that's what I'm gonna do also. And hey? If you don't want to. That's okay too. I'm moving on, B.

So… This is the last time I'll chase you. Not because I got tired but because chasing you is like chasing the clouds.

I hope you become the best of what you really want.

Bye, B.

Carm clenched on the phone in his hand as he listened on the voicemail you left 5 years ago. He still gets updates of you from Rich and Sug. But that was it. You really meant what you said. And he blames himself for it. And the hole in the wall on his apartment when you left him that message. He knows what he did but also he, himself, doesn't know why he did it. Why he thought leaving you would be a great fucking idea.

He got up from his seat and got ready for work. Mikey left the business for him, Sug, and you to take care of. He thought that after Mikey passed away he would get a glimpse of you but nada. He got to the restaurant and stayed in his office. Or what used to be Mikey’s. He took a look at the bills with red stamps that said they’re past due dates and sat down. He got out and took a look at the kitchen, the bar, and the dining area. All of it reminds him of his brother. Of you. Or what he thinks the things you redid. Carm knew that you managed the restaurant before he passed away. Mikey told him that whenever they got a chance to talk. How you convinced Mikey to switch mayos, chairs, and cutlery. The crew came in and Carm decided to close the restaurant for the day to clean it. Every fucking inch of it, they cleaned, wiped, moped, washed dishes. Carm was hanging the penalty they got from the CBH since the restaurant does not comply with the sanitary standards. He heard a knock on the window and saw Uncle Jim. They sat by the window. Unc asked him how the restaurant’s been.

“And then you know, the produce bill is due, you know,” Carm answered pointing at the window. “And the power comes in and I can’t build enough of a parachute. Even if we got this place packed, that’s only like a week of survival cash.”

Unc sighed. “Exhausting listening to this.”

Carm knitted his brows, confused. “You ask me what’s goin on.”

“No,” Unc waved his finger. “I asked you where you’ve been.”

Carm tilted his head to the back. “You’re looking at it. This is where I’ve been,” He sighed and leaned on the chair.

“Carm, this place is bullshit,” Unc told him. “Right? I mean, you’re never gonna fix it. You can’t start at fucked. You understand that, right?”

He sarcastically chuckled. “Then why’d he leave it to me? Or Natalie? Or even your daughter for God’s sake.”

Unc sighed and looked at the window. “She’s doing good, by the way.”

“Who?” He asked like he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

“Don’t fuck with me. You know who?”

They looked at each other before chuckling.

“She’s got a job in San Francisco as a head nurse but she still got her photography gig as a hobby. You should see her photos, Carm,” Unc amusingly said with sparks in his eyes and wide smile.

“Yeah?” He answered. “You must be proud then?”

“Of course,” He laughed. “She’s making me proud since the day she was born”

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto x fem!reader #carmen berzatto fic #carmen berzatto fanfiction #carmen berzatto au #carmen berzatto imagines #the bear fx #the bear

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mangora · 7 months

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We don’t appreciate how funny the Mutant Maggots’ dynamic is on principle. Mean girlfail lesbian, army bro who pisses his pants every five minutes, 4’10” dude who knows physics and entomology and psychology but hasn’t touched grass before, ride-or-die Jersey Girl whose hair is solid glue and still looks good, tumblr girl with mythic RSD, and the most wet cat boy in the world are forced to be on the same team and rapidly flip between working together to dominate the game and having the craziest beef in the world, and they all come in 8th place or higher. And one of them wins the game and it is the last one of them you’d expect. I love them

#alex’s td rambles #holds them like warm cotton balls

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gammagoop · 9 months

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my top picks for who i would want to see added to the life series (in no particular order)

Doc— i would bet money on him finding ren and teaming up with him no more than 10 minutes into the world. he would have the craziest beef with everyone on the whole server. you would be able to hear him and bdubs arguing for miles. also he hasn’t played with a lot of the non-hermit members (outside of some being in the empires crossover) and i’m a sucker for unlikely collaborations! it would be very much unlike his usual content, too, and i can see him treating it as a UHC at first but then realizing that everyone else is being crazy silly about it instead

Pixlriffs— i’ve wanted to see him in the life series since 3rd life, mostly just because he does a lot of hardcore stuff. it would be outside of his usual content, similarly to doc, but whatever i wanna see him have fun! i feel like pix rarely gets into legitimate conflicts with others, but the times he has have been so so fun. i’m a big pix fan. do you guys remember in empires s1 when fwhip pranked him (im pretty sure it was fwhip anyway) and pix started critiquing the execution of the prank. need more of that. need joel to fail at a trap again and pix tell him that it was mid. i can see him being allies with etho which makes me giddy and happy

MythicalSausage— i think everyone wants sausage in a season. NEEED him in a season with ren. need them to do crazy cheesy corny roleplay. i was going to say that if he was in 3rd life he would’ve been a part of the red army but actually i think bdubs would have crowned him king of the crastle and sausage would’ve been launching nukes at dogwarts. he just needs to be there ok. and also i want him to meet skizz

Gem— an obvious choice and a legitimately likely one. so she goes on this list

also can we please bring lizzie and or mumbo back for a full season? at some point?

i think thats all ive got— i wanted to add some non-empires non-hermits like bigb and skizz and martyn but i really do not watch any other series . so. ah. sorry

#life series #hermitcraft #empires smp #masontalking

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thedivinevera · 2 years

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Meet the other you

So just one-day a unrecognizable power has put all of c/n in every alternative universe that exist in a room and that unrecognizable power just said “all of you come from different universe, kill each other or speak with them I don't know, just do your thing” and just leave them in the room

After that shocking thing happened all of the c/n speak with each other asking what's up with their au's some of does au are normal, some are sad and some are just.... unexplainable

Mutual pinning au : OK so before everything why don't we introduce each other first

Yandere au : fuck you!

Mutual pinning au : ok so is there any word so you know other than fuck you

Friends to lovers : yeah right, why do always cruse us, do you had some beef with us or something

Yandere au : do I had a beef with you HA! Bitch listen up in here, Imagine being obsessed with someone to the point that you think you had done the most craziest thing in the world just to found—

Coffee shop au : but you actually had done the craziest, it's not "you think" its "you did" for your information *slurp coffee sound *

Yandere au: thank you very much coffee lover but you think i give a SINGLE fuck

Coffee shop au : not actually... *slurp coffee*

Yandere au : —I am saying is that why the FUCK I need to be in the single room with the most dumbest version of me, yes I am looking at you cheating au and also both of you one sided, and hanahaki!

Cheating au : hey and why i am the "dumb" in here

Yandere au : oh I can explain to you perfectly. First you fucking cheat on the only person who fucking love you with a whore and second you also lie about it and treat her like a dumb person and you still had the ball to ask why I call you DUMB huh

Mutual pinning au : I never thought I'm gonna say this but I agree to yandere au

Soulmate au : yeah me too

Second chance au : even me! I don't have enough balls to request a second chance after what you had done

The other au : yeah

The other other au's : we agree, you're dumb

Cheating au : oh really one side and hanahaki you too

Hanahaki au : sorry men, but were different

One sided love au : yeah, don't drag us down with you, we are not that shameless

Cheating au : ah- traitors

Domestic au : OK ok ok, stop everyone, let's just do what mutual pinning suggest it's a lot more easy to find someone we can go with while waiting for that power to bring us to our business once again

Domestic au : let's go with mhhh.... You

Secret admirer au : umm hello i am c/n and the power told me I come from secret admirer au. I am y/n secrets admirer for 1 years but they caught me and now I am in a established relationship with them

Domestic au : OK thank you so much— yandere what are you doing?

Yandere au : writing a Roblist why?

Domestic au : I don't get paid enough for this.. Ok next you, the man who look younger than us

Collage au : hi I am you from collage au, I study at a school where also y/n study and after some up and down we are now in a established relationships and in the way to graduate

Coffee shop au : I am coffe shop au, my honey pie, y/n is working for a coffee shop that I always visit and you know the rest

"Your dead" au : I am you but y/n, my beautiful y/n, she died *cry*

Domestic au : OK that's controversial, I am you but in domestic au both me and y/n are married, we had children and yeah y/n is my Sprouse and the parent of my children

Househusband au : oh cool, I am also married to her but we still don't have plan to had a child

Yandere au : I am you but yandere and not dumb *looking at cheating and hanahaki au* y/n loves me and—

Hanahaki au : no they don't, you kidnap her and kill most of her friends

Yandere au : listen fucker, I atleast don't drive my love from verge of death

Modern au : hold on what?, what do you mean by verge of death

Yandere au : oh you see hanahaki disease is a disease who kill people who experience one sided love

Modern au : god that's worse

Yandere au : yes i know right ugh. you, one sided love the different version why are you different?

One sided love(different version) : oh its because I found it out that I love her before it's to late not like the other version of mine who takes decades to found out

One sided love : oh please don't flex that to me where just both the same you're just faster

One sided love(different version) : that's my entire point dipshit 🙄

Meanwhile :

Coffee shop au : want some tea

Soulmate au : yah sure

Coffe shop au & soulmate au : *slurp tea while looking at the chaos*

And then they all fight

Même down bellow :

First of all sorry for wrong spelling or mutual second of all sorry for bad writing and third of all thank you for reblogs

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kiwiana-writes · 7 months

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20 question for fic writers

Thanks @stereopticons and @welcometololaland for the tags, even if it is distracting me from hockey lmaooooo

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

221. No, that's not a typo.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

729,286! However there's a few collabs in there, per my spreadsheet where I obsessively track these things my *personal* wordcount for works on AO3 is 600,080 (so I guess I crossed 600k with this morning's kinktober! That's fun.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now it's Red, White & Royal Blue. I still have my toes in Schitt's Creek, and I've written for Happiest Season and The Last of Us on AO3 as well.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest) [Red, White, & Royal Blue] - the actor AU, aka MJ Nerds Out About Shakespeare For 65,000 Words. And y'all love it, apparently 😅

We always walked a very thin line [Happiest Season] - It remains forever fascinating to me that my rage-fuelled fuck-that-ending thing I smashed out in like 3 hours after watching that film is still the most-kudosed work in the entire fandom. I guess other people shared my annoyance lol.

We were supposed to find this [Red, White, & Royal Blue] - The soulmates/solemates fic and my first fic in this fandom??? That somehow blew all my SC fics out of the water kudos-wise??? Go figure lmao.

Meet me out at the end of my rope [Schitt's Creek] - angstapalooza, my beloved.

When you care enough to send the very best [Schitt's Creek] - this being in the top five (and my second-highest SC fic) is eternally fascinating to me. A fully epistolary fic with Patrick as a greeting card writer for Hallmark?? I mean sure, it's a cute concept, but this is another one of those 'wrote it in an afternoon and y'all love it apparently' fics.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely! Sometimes I feel bad that my responses aren't always, like, enough. But I massively appreciate people taking the time to comment so I'm always gonna respond!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably the one that ends with MCD lmaooooo

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most everything I write has a happy ending, but it's probably the RWRB Actor AU? Both the end of the main story and the epilogue end on massive joy

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Yeah. Particularly kink stuff (please be cool on tomorrow's y'all) but also some massively panphobic bullshit on some Schitt's Creek fics. And one or two people who have beef with me lmao. I'm liberal with my use of the 'delete comment' button haha.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

It's been said about me that I might write a bit of smut from time to time, yes. (Though, contrary to my reputation, especially in SC, E-rated is actually only 37% of my total works.) The filthy-yet-tender kind. The let's-examine-where-kinks-come-from kind. The sex-positive kind. The let-people-be-horny-freaks kind.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't, but I would if the right idea presented itself!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of...

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of...

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! My partner in crime @ships-to-sail and I have co-written two uhhhhhh somewhat tonally different fics: The afterlife fic that was a huge treatise on grief and how the people in our lives shape us, and the one where Patrick is a snowman who comes to life complete with sparkly Twilight dildo dick. Something something range.

The Jake/Rachel series has each individual fic as a solo write, but the series is an internally consistent collaboration with @sarahlevys

And there have been a few projects where I've written a section or a chapter as part of a larger collaborative work: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Don't have one. I love a whole bunch for a whole bunch of different reasons.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Technically I guess the series is a WIP, but I honestly don't know if I'll ever get to the end of the show for kink!verse. (Never say never 😭 but right now I can't see it happening.)

16. What are your writing strengths?

Fuck off stop making me be nice about myself.

Um, character voice? Both dialogue and narration. I think I'm good at getting a handle on the way characters speak and think, and when I'm on my epistolary bullshit I tend to put a lot of thought into how they text etc as well (for fandoms where we don't see that in canon haha).

Also I'm apparently really good at making readers feel their feelings. Love y'all ❤️

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot lol. I've said it before and I'll say it again, there's a reason y'all keep seeing me thank @ships-to-sail for the outline on anything with any substance.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Not opposed to it, but have a horror of google translate fail. So beyond, like, a word here or there, I wouldn't do it unless I could reach out to a fluent speaker and make sure it's right. My second language is functionally useless to me in a fandom context lol.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

HP. Fuck JKR for tainting all my memories of that time.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Hey remember my answer to #1? That makes this mean.

I have a different answer every time. Been a bit dysphoric lately so today I'm gonna say it's nonbinary Alexis Rose lol.

Tried to skip people I'd seen have done it or been tagged already but was probably unsuccessful, sorry if some of y'all are feeling spammed: @affectionatelyrs @celeritas2997 @daisymae-12 @happiness-of-the-pursuit @heartitinthesilence @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @hypnostheory @inexplicablymine @myheartalivewrites @sherryvalli @smc-27 @tintagel-or-cockleshells and anyone who wants to play ❤️

#tag game #20 questions for fic writers

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sandraharissa · 7 months

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And another thing.

This whole ‘Vi’s here for the crystal’ was a bit mishandled I think cos it always felt jarring. To an audience it’s so obvious that Vi would go back for Jinx that it creates the impression that believing she’s back just for the crystal is so out of left field that it needs an explanation as to why anyone would think it, like lying when it comes to Sevika and Silco and severe delusion when it comes to Jinx. But that in turn feels jarring for those characters cos from their personalities and the scenes I don’t get the vibe that Sevika/Silco were lying or that Jinx is THAT crazy delusional. I think it’s a disservice to the character when ppl are like ‘of course Jinx starts a one-sided rivalry with Cait, she’s crazy’, cos it’s kinda weak if that’s all that this conflict boils down to.

I think that having Sevika be the one to say it first and having all three characters come to this conclusion somewhat individually was an attempt to make it more believable to the audience who’s on Vi’s side and knows Vi’s thoughts that it’s a reasonable thing to believe but I think it kinda failed.

Which is kinda crazy cos it IS reasonable. The characters can’t read Vi’s mind and don’t know her/haven’t seen her for years, ppl believed so deeply she was dead that they can’t believe she’s really back like Jinx’s ‘are you real’ or ‘back from the dead??’ or Ekko’s reaction. Marcus lied so initially it’s not clear to anyone why she was missing anyway, but now she’s back and even tho she doesn’t know it she IS here for the crystal cos Cait is here for the crystal. Vi after all this time coming back immediately after the crystal was stolen is indeed not a coincidence, the only reason she was freed was to help find the crystal and arrest Jinx. So she is from the start put in an unfavorable position (working with a cop) that sets her up for legitimate suspicion from others and ultimately failure.

I wish they highlighted this more especially for Jinx’s sake cos her beef with Cait is quite important and yet feels hollow if there’s just no real basis for Jinx’s paranoia, ‘she’s just crazy and believes the craziest things’ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I think it’s more compelling when we acknowledge that Jinx’s paranoia has a basis cos Cait is an enforcer and especially Jinx’s antagonism towards enforcers was well set up, Cait is indeed out for Jinx and the whole crystal situation does look suspicious for Vi, and the threat of being replaced is somewhat real cos ultimately this is indeed what was happening, similarly to how Jinx kinda replaced Vi with Silco and now is maybe afraid it will happen to her.

#jinx #arcane #my:arcane #team vi #vi #vi and jinx #silco #sevika #caitlyn kiramman #team silco

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wynnyfryd · 6 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

tagged by @thefreakandthehair @stevethehairington @wormdebut @just-my-latest-hyperfixation and @morningberriesao3 thank you loveliess

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

27 dresses starring katherine heigl and james marsden

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

138,103

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Things <3 My fics are all pretty exclusively Steddie or platonic Sstobin as the main focus, but I like to play around with the background ships - the best part of being super into a show with 14000 characters is you have so many opportunities for weird pair-ups

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

No Son of Mine

relax (lay it back)

TITS! magazine

Monsoon Season

relax (that's that)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I try to answer every comment I get because like, thank you for taking the time to let me know you read and liked my story you didn't have to do that and I love that you did

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

mmmm. I don't- HAHAHAHA okay wait, I was about to say "I don't really do unhappy endings" because I don't, but I did do a single angsty ending microfic as a personal challenge back in July

at the bottom you'll find all our friends

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

weirdly enough I think it was the sex tape fic I wrote for @inklessletter lmao that fic turned out so much more 'aggressively married' vibes than I originally planned. Just absolute sap city

Satanic Ritual: DO NOT WATCH!!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Hope not lol

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

ADHD crack smut with a heart of fluffy gold

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have written exactly one chapter of one crossover, which is a modern Stardust AU where Eddie is Tristan, Steve is the star, and 1980s Indiana is on the non-magical side of the wall. Also Eddie was trying to find the star so he could grab a chunk of it and barter it for a new electric guitar lmao. I really loved the premise I came up with and thought the first chapter was great; unfortunately the fic is fuckin cursed and will never be finished (by me. if anyone wants to take a swing at the story where I left it off feel free!)

stupid fucking star stuff

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

See #8

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes! @gorgeousgreymatter-x and I co-wrote the first installment of the yogi steve vs adhd eddie series as a birthday gift to @flintandfuss <3 we broke each other's brains with our linear vs non-linear writing styles lmao but it was a really fun project

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Steddieeeeeeee

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I started working on this goofy little crack fic forever ago where Steve was a member of the snooty grandmas-only Loch Nora Gardening Club, and he was all stressed out because the ladies had beef with the neighboring town's club and had somehow put Steve in charge of operation "publicly humiliate them by throwing a better annual fundraising party"

and then Eddie, being the impulsive horny dumbass that he is, was jokingly like "hey, you could come to my garden party some time" and Steve's like "you're in a gardening club?" "yeah, technically! sure!"

then Eddie drives him to Indy and pulls them up to this shady little sex club called The Pleasure Garden and Steve gets gently bullied by a drag queen lmaooo

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue dialogue dialogue. Also I think in weird synesthesia (some words taste bad, some memories smell like cinnamon, ya know what I mean) so I feel like my imagery toward the fun and funky side

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

All the silly important shit that goes around the dialogue. And writing a seamless big group scene - more than four people in a conversation and the pacing gets so ssx tricky

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Mmmm. I mean, I tend to avoid it unless the fic/character actually requires it. Like I did a Robin POV fic where Robin would think certain curse words in different languages because it seemed fitting for the girl who's fluent in four languages, ya know? Ooh, I do also love a good "character royally botches what they're trying to say" moment so foreign language phrases are fun for that

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Twilight

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I'm really just unreasonably proud of myself for writing almost 30,000 words of continuous story in 30 days. I've been trying to do that for years and never even come close

okay sick thanks for letting me ramble incessantly about myself this was fun!

as usual I'm late to the tag party but tagging a couple people anyway <3 @steddieas-shegoes @thisapplepielife @wormdebut @aidaronan @gorgeousgreymatter-x

#tag games #writer asks #writer ask game

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destinyc1020 · 3 months

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Timmy has repeatedly said that Z has been a source of inspiration for him in the area of fashion. And he knew the designers of her famous looks. He would not have any problem admitting when Z just pulls all the stops. That lady is just representative of the craziest stans that can't accept that there are other artists that are also talented and may excel in areas even more than their fave

EXACTLY! Timmy for sure has said that Z is a fashion inspiration for him lol. I don't think he was just blowing smoke either. He knew all of her fashion looks. (Well, we do too lol, but it's cuz we're fans lol)

I don't think he would have just said that if it weren't true in other words.

I keep saying that it's not the actors themselves that have beef with each other, it's these stupid FANS who seem to have an issue with other people being in the spotlight ASIDE from just their fave. It's really weird to me honestly. 🥴 It reeks of insecurity if you ask me.

If you need your fave to always be on "top" 24/7, then what does that say about you? Like, it's not a competition. These are their peers. They are friends.

I can't stand when fans put down other actors just to make their own fave look good or just because others are getting shine over their fave. It's so petty and immature imo. 😤 Not to mention, so unnecessary.

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nanatia · 3 months

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some charles fans were celebrating a possible oversteer car and yeah it's silly because it's not possible to know yet, but is that enough reason to attack people and being misogynistic like team lh is doing now?

"leclerc fangirls this, only care about looks that..." this kind of thing is sooo tiresome. And what's crazy is that is not even just guys, there's always those pick me girls too thinking they're part of the guys club and using the same misogynistic retoric. ps: this is not going to make these guys respect you, they will still think your knowledge in f1 is inferior to them just for the fact you're not a man.

Craziest thing is lewis is not even in ferrari yet why are you trying to beef so much already ???

But we always have to hear about how "lecfosi" are the most toxic fanbase and there are plenty who are indeed, but it seems like no one else is willing to look at the mirror, because "lecfosi" were just celebrating a possible good car who cares if it's silly its not that deep. It's not reason to mock and attack people.

#charles leclerc #lewis hamilton

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mcflymemes · 1 year

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PROMPTS FROM STEP BROTHERS * assorted dialogue from the 2008 film

this house is a fucking prison!

we're in the bathroom!

i don't believe in belts.

it usually starts by you telling me a little something about yourself.

i'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you.

this wedding is horse shit.

you guys have an outstanding track record.

i was faking. i used ninja focus to slow my heart rate down.

i smoked pot with johnny hopkins.

you're not gonna come down and say hi to me?

i thought we'd begin talking about your parents' divorce.

i want you out of my fucking house!

i just want you to know i hate you.

oh stop it!

i dont have to swear to shit!

you must feel just terrible.

i owe you an apology.

you gotta keep an eye on it.

you take that back.

we do it because we love you.

hey, can i ask you something?

this is my house now.

what do we do now?

you're failures!

i wasn't fired from my job. i was laid off.

whoa, calm down, man. i'm just joking.

you know what? i still hate you.

you were dead. i saw you die.

sweet jesus! i love korean food!

maybe someday we could become friends.

do you wanna do karate in the garage?

we could hug.

i didn't want the salmon! i said four times!

it sounds a lot like the plot of good will hunting.

how old were you when they got divorced?

why are you so sweaty?

this is what i live with!

this is just like cold case files!

get out of my face, or i'm gonna roundhouse your ass.

was that a fart?

in no way, shape, or form do i feel any feelings of intimacy towards you in any way whatsoever.

what if i were to tell you i could sell this house for 30% above market?

oh, i'm exhausted.

well that's fine.

i always wanted to be a dinosaur.

i can taste it on my tongue.

we're here to fuck shit up!

on the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur.

i swear, i'm so pissed off at my mom.

i remember my first beer.

we can bicker about this all night, but what's done is done.

i would follow you into the mists of avalon.

shut the fuck up!

you're alive! oh my god!

my little brother is even a bigger asshole than you are.

i'm just saying, you need to think about your options.

i'm not gonna call him dad.

did you touch my drum set?

he had the craziest look in his eyes.

you have the voice of an angel.

believe me, i've told him that.

hey, you're embarrassing yourself!

do you want to talk about some of those feelings?

we like to shit with the door open.

guess what? i hate you too.

now the tuxedos seem kind of fucked up.

you better not go to sleep, 'cause as soon as your eyes shut, i'm gonna punch you square in the face.

stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job.

hey, you awake?

are you fucking crazy, man?

you're not feeling this?

i tea-bagged your drumset.

i know you two are technically married.

i'm not going to! ever!

my best friend is ben affleck.

look, i didn't touch your drum set.

okay, i'll be honest with you. i did fart.

you know what's good for shoulder pain?

we're putting the house on the market.

don't even think about it.

what's your problem?

i would've done the exact same thing.

did we just become best friends?

i feel like i'm smarter than most of the people who go there.

you and your mom are hillbillies.

it stinks. and this is a small room.

obviously... you don't know me.

my penis is tingling right now.

we make our own beef jerky.

you better not get in my face.

where are we moving?

ready? one, two, three.

i think it's time for a change. for both of us.

your voice is like a combination of fergie and jesus.

i know that we started out as foe.

i've seen him do it.

this house sucks ass.

the clown has no penis.

we are living the dream.

i'm just thinking about our life together.

what kind of dreams are you having?

shut up!

it was in international waters, so they couldn't prosecute him.

i hope you stay still when you sleep, 'cause i'm gonna put a rat trap between your legs.

why do you have randy jackson's autograph on a martial arts weapon?

you leave me money for pizza?

well what about us?

we literally have never done any of those things.

what's this all about?

shut your mouth!

what the fuck happened?

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magicxc · 7 months

Text

Hills and Valleys

Synopsis: Legend has it that Halloween is strictly for the scares. With ghouls and goblins, vampires and werewolves, witches and broomsticks, who could disagree?

However, all this friend group wanted was a little trick or treat. Sprinkle in a few party favors, loud music, and a cabin in the woods, the myth was bound to come true.

Lurking around the corner is danger like never before, eager to bring this night to a bloody finish.

So join these friends as they fight to make it through a Halloween they’ll never forget, proving that "the scare" is more than just a fantasy.

Word Count: 1573

Warnings: drowning

Chapter 2 - Julianna’s POV

Series Masterlist

“Let’s fucking gooooooo,” I yell into the crowd.

I don’t know what it is about LMFAO that gets me pumped, but they’re definitely a vibe. That group was inescapable in 2012 and then they just fell off the face of the earth, damn.

But before I can contemplate it any further, a drink is being pushed into my hands by none other than the fender bender himself. Man, I haven’t seen that asshole on tv since adult swim was poppin.

“Is this that Jekyll and Gin?” I shout over the music.

“Nah, this that beetlejuice,” they answered.

Eyeing the cup for potential bugs, I shrug my shoulders and take it to the head cause lets be real, the craziest names yield the best taste.

Next thing I know is that I’m ass up face down in the middle of the dancefloor bussing the meanest of whines for Freddy Kruger. And if I hear another Megan Thee Stallion song, Imma show him why she really calls us hotties.

But unfortunately for him, inebriated me has the tendency to fake an accent or two, though I usually don’t know which one will get the chance to shine until the drunk meter hits full.

“Sacre bleu nigga, Im tryna throw this ass back on youuu. So open your arms wide, bend those knees, and catch it ohh ouiiii.”

“Girl you play too fucking much,” he retorted.

So apparently the accent of the day is French.

We dance on each other for a few more songs, my ass firmly placed in his hands while his pelvis roughly grinds into me; our bodies cradled together as we move to the rhythm of the beat. Slick comments like “get a room” or “use a condom” get thrown at us and it’s then that I leave for a breather before I fuck him there and then.

Unwrapping myself from his arms, I get ready to go, promising that I’ll be back while he smacks my ass in return. Deciding on a cup of water before I step outside for some fresh air, I make a beeline for the kitchen damn near knocking over Lynn in the process.

“Woahhh where’s the fire,” she jokes.

“In my vagina,” I yell. “Freddy Krugers big dick gave my ass two muthafucking heartbeats bitch.”

“You whore, you smashed on the first night?”

“No, but I’m about to,” I smirked.

“Shittt join the team, I smashed the first night and became a girlfriend.”

“Girl when haven't you?”

Shrugging her shoulders, she downs the last of her drink as her beefy military guy comes up and snakes his arms around her waist; an acknowledging nod thrown my way.

“Jason, right?”

“All day.”

“I’d love to stay and talk, but I’m legit burning from the inside out,” I said, fanning myself.

“I think Lorenzo left the backdoor open,” Jason pointed out. “I’ve seen people in and out that thing all night.”

“Mhmm, yeah take a breather and air that cat out before you buss it wide open.”

“Fuck you!” I laughed, middle finger high in the air. “Honestly I’m surprised I’ve made it this long at his party as is.”

“At the rate you’re going, we’ll probably have to haul you out of here,” Jason chirped.

“Y’all aren't still ‘beefing’ are you?”

“You know how he goes Lynn, if Lenny does nothing else he’ll hold a grudge.”

“Just give it some time.”

About two months ago Lenny threw a surprise party for himself, however the fuck that works, and invited the usual crew and then some. He rented out a party hall because quite frankly we were tired of helping him clean up after his usual weekend shenanigans; and it was his birthday so ideally he wanted to get fucked up without being responsible for any mess he made.

As the night goes on we’re all chopping it up and getting lit and I spy this gorgeous girl, I’m talking ten out of ten baddie. Now I’m far from shy, especially when it comes to something that I want, so I slid over to her, hit her with some of my best lines and made that shit official like a referee with a whistle. We end up clicking instantly. She’s downing drinks back to back with me, fucking up the dance floor with me, and even tried her hands at skiing the slopes for the first time.

All in all things are going better than expected, hell I'm starting to think it's my birthday. At some point, we start taking body shots and somehow her trying to wedge the lime from my teeth ends with us liplocking, that slice of citrus long forgotten as it hits the floor. Our makeout session ends abruptly, both of us yanked apart with a fuming Lenny in front of us.

Apparently she was a coworker of his who he’d been eyeing for a minute and I swooped in and ruined the possibility of something more. But the thing is, he had no chances with this woman in the first place and had he paid close enough attention through those bullshit conversations that he forced on her in the break room, he would’ve realised that sis was gay.

Truth be told, I bruised his ego more than anything. And the fact that he pulled such a stunt like that, in his drunken state, in front of friends, family and coworkers has him a little more embarrassed than he lets on.

I think Lenny is the bees knees and I would’ve never approached his crush had I known, but it still stings that he’s essentially beating a dead horse. I feel like he tolerates me these days because of the crew and quite frankly I’m over the silly nonsense. He’s my absolute fave of the bunch, our personalities being so similar and all. But after tonight he’ll hear everything I have to say whether he likes it or not.

“Anyway I’m off to, as you so eloquently put it, air this cat out,” I joke. “Later sugar.”

“Dammit, is nothing sacred?” She screams.

Chuckling, I make it to the back door, walking over to one of the nearby trees to light a joint. Bringing it to my lips, I inhale the smoky goodness, eyelids heavy from fun. Swallowing it down, I rest my head against the branch as the crunching of leaves takes me out of my daze.

Spinning around, a small smile dangles at the corner of my lips as I eye the familiar face. Exhaling, I hand over the joint, a question that doesn’t need to be asked. Hands swiping over mine, the blunt slides from my fingers and between their lips in response; a newfound sense of serenity as we enjoy the low thumping of the music.

Halloween aside, autumn is my absolute favorite season for the beautiful, warm colors that it produces - from the red tinted leaves, to the orange pumpkins, and the golden sunsets. The air is crispier and the breeze blows a little cooler and the wind tastes a little fresher. I don’t know but it’s something about the way the earth turns on its axis around this time of year that brings a newfound joy to me.

Eyes closed in blissful solace, I listen in as another crunching of the leaves ensues, only this time I’m the reason for the noise. A fist to my jaw has my face slamming against the tree trunk, body tumbling to the ground as I try my best to recover from the force of it all.

Hands desperately grabbing at the earth, dirt and debris get painfully wedged underneath my fingernails, watching the droplets of blood seep into the soil.

Trying my best to scramble up off the ground in my drunken state, a kick to my temple makes all my efforts futile, vision blurring as I lose my fight with consciousness.

|~~

My body feels cold and heavy, lungs intensely burning while my head feels an insane amount of pressure. Eyes shooting open, I see what looks to be the moon, a full one at that. Can you imagine, a full moon on Halloween? I see the universe has a sense of humor.

I feel my body sink further into the cold, wet depths, limbs thrashing against whatever has me restrained and it occurs to me that I may not be able to talk my way out of this one. The more I struggle, the more water pours into my lungs, filling my chest with a fiery ache; salty tears submerged as my nose splatters furious bubbles at my body's pitiful attempt to cough up the water and relieve my chest.

They say it takes about 40 seconds to drown and though I’ve only been down here for about half that, it feels like twice that time. I’ve always wanted to go in my sleep, peacefully and without a clue. But as I stare up at the hazy moon, surrounded by a deep blue sky, stars sprinkled in between, I figure this isn’t the worst thing to see last. Relaxing into the water, I give up my struggle and take a big gulp, ready to accept my fate. Vision darkening, I look up for a final peek at the starry night in all its blurred glory, or as I’d like to call this one “the party night” and take comfort in the fact that I got to live it up one last time.

#Emmy Writes #Emmy Tries #SpookySzn #Halloween Kills #Halloween Series #Halloween #Hills and Valleys #Original Story and Characters #Horror

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scenetocause · 6 months

Text

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers 💫

i got tagged by @verycoolwearsleather and now i have to pretend i have a writing process haha

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

it says 52 but there's actually a lot more due to orphaning/anon-ing things.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

345,519 but again i'm not sure how much tha's counting

3. What fandoms do you write for?

gross f1 twinks

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

just telling it like it is (lando/maxv)

pretty sure this is just cus it's the oldest fic i have since the account reboot because it absolutely does not merit being anywhere near the top 10 lol it's just a 5+1 about other mando being obvious (it's anon'd cus i got bored of a load of my fics and didn't want them as part of the emptyhalf canon anymore)

every colour illuminates (george/lando)

for something i started writing offhand cus some of my friends were saying there should be more trans men in f1 fic, this one sure grew legs. i'm still insanely moved by the comments it gets and the way it seemed to resonate with people. i'm not sure i can really convey how dumb i actually am in a way that'd make people believe me but i really did just write this on vibes and it's one of the things i can say i'm genuinely glad i did. idk, it's just queer porn really but maybe we need more of that.

(i) just wanna get a little bit closer (mando)

you know i don't even think this is close to my best mando fic (personal choice is no plans of staying on) so there's no accounting for taste and you absolutely should practice death of the author or whatever. anyway, it's mando cohabitation era boundary breakdown stuff where they fuck and then go on a date about it.

shoreline i see when i'm off course (loscar, mando)

people rly are thirsty for a/b/o huh. how'd this little fic get into the top five so quickly?

the usual, upside down (alex/george/lando)

literally THEE most head empty omegaverse threesome fic in history y'all are horny as fuck. it literally only got written bc george did some dumb insta post where he called lando and alex his mates and also then was walking around looking horny af in the black fireproofs and mask when he stood in for lewis. there is NO nutritional content here even by the fast food standards of emptyhalf fic.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i uh. i should. i would like to but my brain is quite severely broken. i do read them all and i bookmark a lot in open tabs to come back to and reply to because they mean a lot but then i have 6000 tabs open and no executive function.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

we don't do that here. i guess maybe if you dig into the far distant past then it was probably i'm not just a fuck up, i'm the fuck up you love which is 18k words of jev not really getting over daniel that ends on a sort of optimistically blasted-open note.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

most of them are happy but probably actually pick me up, no headlights where george and max end up with their weird little family worked out and the kids are doing well, y'know

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no i don't think enough people read them to beef me lol

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

hahahaha oh yea. i like to think i write something along the lines of realistic queer sex, with the way that means it's mostly kind of funny and sometimes awakward and isn't elegant or arch or even particularly romantic except that you're getting to do it with the person you do it with. writing lando and oscar being straight with each other, even if it's in a cringe fail way, made me realise i really do not write straight people and i feel a bit like one of those painfully hetero actors who does a gay kissing scene and talks about how they had to get themselves in the mindset by watching the l word or whatever haha. what do straight people do? who are they?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i was gonna say no but then i remembered i wrote logan and oscar going ghosthunting and being kinda pass-agg horny about it because. idk? logan gave me ryan bergara vibes.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i think someone reposted some of mine awhile ago and it got dealt with before i really knew anything about it idk

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i don't know tbh. someone made a podfic of one of my fics a way back.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yeah i used to do that quite a lot but now. i am a lone wolf. (too perverse for other people's minds)

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

jenson/lewis but society has never been ready for this

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i don't. i don't wanna let doubt enter into it but my daniel goes to fe fic is up against a number of the dark souls boss level demons in my own brain 😔

16. What are your writing strengths?

uh. i uh. i can write on my phone? i have a relaxed attitude to whether what i write is any good at all? i don't actually think i really have any.

people quite often say i have a lot of emotional intelligence in my fics which is very funny to me because i am a deeply unemotionally intelligent person so idk how that's happened really.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

look we could be here all day.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i guess it has never bothered me so long as the reader could be reasonably expected to work out the meaning from the context.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

cardcaptor sakura (i was 14)

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

hmmm. in terms of thinking it's like, good or whatever it's probably don't say no or you'll have to go, the fucked up valtteri/george mutual seat envy/horror of being compared to lewis hamilton thing. or really, it's an old spy au fic called ten seconds before sunrise that i deleted ages ago so: sorry about that.

but favourite is probably some dumb mando shit or i have extreme recency bias so maybe logan and oscar go ghosthunting or whatever. oh wait, no, it's genders maxy the how-to-find-your-identity-post-racing-in-your-pussy treatise that was born of crack but ended up. no, it's still crack. anyway, classic emptyhalf shit tbh.

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twst-hanaya · 2 years

Text

Riddle Is Insane Actually

Alternate Title: My Personal Beef With Riddle Rosehearts' Life Philosophy

To preface: I have an incurable disease where I want to pick fights with fictional characters, and being sad and mad that I can't. I can't even write a self insert story where I do because I can only write what I want or think Riddle might respond with but that's not a real argument I mean debate or discussion. Anyways, if you haven't already gathered, this is me trying not to rip my hair out every time I think Riddle says the craziest shit ever, so fair warning.

Also disclaimer I don't hate Riddle, I am NOT a Riddle anti he just says things that flips my fight response sometimes and it's never properly addressed in the story so here I am. This boy needs perspective and there is no one equipped to give it to him lmao.

First Point of Contention - His Philosophy Concerning Rules

I hate to have to start this off on such a granular level of "What are Rules and why do we have them?" but it's necessary if I'm going to illustrate how Riddle's worldview is broken at the core.

Rules and Laws are something we as humans have in order to live in a civilized society. The purpose behind a rule is always first and foremost, with its effectiveness in fulfilling that purpose being second. Rules are a tool.

Riddle, on the other hand, finds the value of rules to be innate. It doesn't matter to him what the rule serves, only that it is a rule. Rules are innately important by virtue of being a rule to him. He simply assumes that it must be good. And this blind faith is basically a religion.

This is an extension of his biggest flaw - his desire for total control. Both to be controlled, and to control. It's paradoxical, but people aren't always internally consistent. He can't function without some higher "authority" outside of himself dictating what he should do. In childhood, it was his Mother, and in NRC, it's the institutions he's imbedded in, the Laws of the Queen of Hearts, in particular.

He's incapable of thinking of how the motivations of those in power drives the creation of certain rules, and therefore the validity and legitimacy of them. He assumes that Authority = Goodness, period. If you were to seriously challenge this worldview with an example like Legally institutionalized Slavery, his answer based on the through line of his philosophy would have to be "Well It's the Law". Nobody in story has challenged this world view in any meaningful way still, and I doubt they ever will.

At the end of Crimson Tyrant, he did become more forgiving, but not in a way that addressed this core issue. Riddle is still floundering trying to find a way to move forward in a world where he can't simply defer to something or someone who "Knows Best".

Second Point of Contention - his Idea of Leadership Is All Wrong

As stated in the story, he had to believe this restrictiveness was to his benefit, and his tyrannical enforcement of the Laws was a way to justify the treatment he faced growing up.

It's outright stated in story that the Dorm Leader determines how closely they stick to tradition. This is the discretion given to a leader, but he doesn't see himself as a leader - he sees himself as an enforcer. He doesn't won't exercise any discretion with regards to which rules matter and which don't, because he can't. Honestly, his disposition is more suited for that of a card soldier, but his control freak complex and superiority complex won't allow for that.

Even if enforcing the Laws was something that would have lead to a better future for his Dorm, he has no concept of how to enforce it in a way that's actually effective. All infractions were treated with the same weight and therefore, the same punishment - Off With Your Head. Again, an expression of his inability to see the worth of a rule in what it serves, not just that it's a rule.

It did nothing but serve to breed resentment, not inspire respect. It showed a hysterical and immature dictator, not a competent and mature leader. He was only able to stay Dorm Leader in this situation because the rules of school dictate that pure magical prowess is what qualifies a leader, not actual leadership skills. But fear isn't a long-term answer when there would definitely be contempt and undermining of an authority that he frankly didn't deserve based on his actions thus far. If he hadn't changed, I wouldn't be surprised if the rest of the students started banding together under the table to bully and destroy Riddle in some way. Teenagers are clever and magical might can only do so much against everyone. If he were a chimp, he would have been torn limb from limb the second he had an off day.

I do think however, that his earnestness is to his benefit. He really cares about the success of his dorm members, regardless of his way of expressing this sentiment. He helps those who are struggling academically, and I believe that his "Drill Sergeant" attitude is much more useful when it's goal oriented in this manner, rather than trying to herd cats under Laws that are completely unintuitive and pointless. But again, this goes back to the first point - his inability to asses the utility of rules gets in the way of this.

Third Point of Contention - It's Perfect For His Character And That Makes Me Mad

Now I've been complaining non-stop at this point, but I must concede - this blind madness with regards to Rules is perfect for a character embodying the antagonist of Alice in Wonderland.

I think the fanbase has this view of Riddle as a short-tempered goody-two-shoes nerd. Which he is! But I think his most defining aspect as a character is his complete senselessness when it comes to Rules. Think about it. Even the most uptight assholes can generally see that certain rules are Bad. But not this guy! Like I said, his zealotry is almost religious. He seems fairly normal by the end of Crimson Tyrant, but he still very, very insane.

Anyways, that was me shouting into a void that can't answer, I hope you enjoyed it.

#disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland analysis #character analysis #riddle rosehearts #rant #hey don't get mad at me Riddle fans #I think he's annoyingly cute for a crazy bitch #and honestly his problems are mostly his fucked up mom's fault #I'll say it she's straight up abusive

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