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#we do GET blocked and that’s hilarious to me
a-b-riddle · 3 days
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Part Five
Can't stop thinking about the attempt of reconciliation and reader ain't having it. Our girl is going to be wilddddd y'all. Also goodnight. See y'all tomorrow (maybe)
You call Meredith when you get home.
You. Are. Fuming. She's not sure she can ever remember a time you using so many swear words at one time.
How fucking dare them? Immature? You're the immature one? You were the one trying your best to salvage four failing relationship meanwhile none of those assholes could be bothered to try and keep one. They had one person to manage: you.
"I wanna go out this weekend." "Wear something tight and borderline risk indecent exposure."
"You know what I always say," Meredith begins. "The best way to get over someone-"
"is to get under someone else." You finish. You weren't exactly keen on the idea of bringing someone to your bed just yet, but a little attention would do you some good. "I don't want to fuck someone just yet." You admitted. "I'm more on the getting drunk and making out."
"I didn't know we resorted back secondary school heavy petting?" She teased.
"University, Dear." You corrected. "I didn't peak until after I graduated."
"No." She argued. "You didn't put your books down long enough to realize that boys actually wanted to fuck you." You were glad she couldn't see you roll your eyes. "Saturday work for you? I have a late night Friday and won't be up for it."
"That works."
"Sorry." She apologized. "I plan on getting you absolutely smashed so I need to be ready to play the nanny. I know how you love to get drunk and run off."
It was true. You had always found it hilarious when you were drunk to just run. Quite literally run away. It got to a point during university where Meredith would handcuff you to her so you didn't stray.
"I won't run." Your sober mind promised.
"Uh huh." Meredith's tone told you that she knew that was a load of shit. "I'll text Tabs. Let her know the plan."
The next day at the shop was pretty uneventful. No more unexpected visitors. You still had them all blocked. Not caring if now they decided to offer up some bullshit apology.
Months. This had been a steady decline for six months. A text or a simply sorry won't fix this. You weren't sure anything could.
But it didn't matter. You were done and they obviously were too.
You had picked up enough take out to feed a family, but you didn't plan on making your lunch before work or cooking when you got home. The rest of the week you planned on just going through the motions until you could go out Saturday and hopefully get everything out.
You weren't paying attention as you walked down the hallway to your flat. Fishing in your purse for keys. You were at almost at your door when you saw him.
Sitting next to your door was a familiar face. A face you felt you haven't seen in forever.
“What are you doing here, Kyle?" Your voice was flat as you continued to blindly try and find your keys with one hand. Fuck. You really need to clean out your purse...
“My key wouldn’t work.” He explained. "So I’m out here.”
"I'm aware why you're not in my apartment since I changed the locks," you said, trying to keep your irritation at bay. "What I am asking is why did you come here?"
"You won't return any of our messages."
"You're all blocked, so technically I didn't really get any messages." "Besides, you don't get to complain to me about not responding to texts, Kyle Garrick." Your fingers finally wraps around them. God bless. "If you're here for your things, it'll have to wait. I have to sort through everyone's shit and I don't know whose is whose."
"We need to talk." He explains as you put the key into the lock, opening the door.
"Nah," you say scrunching your nose in that way he used to adore. "I'm good. But you can swing by tomorrow and pick up your things if you'd like." You say before trying to shut the door on him. You were stupid in thinking you could be faster than him.
Dammit.
"I know things haven't been good and I've definitely could have been better,'' he admits. "But can you at least try and let us apologize? Let us try and work it out."
"No." You answered, trying to close the door. Not caring if you had to resort to kicking his shins to get him out.
"Why not?" He countered.
“Maybe because I've already tried, Kyle?” You gave up on trying to shut him out. You were strong, but he didn't have any issues in besting you. “Because I actually tried with you. With all of you. You didn’t need to come here giving me excuses about your life being hectic because I’ve made the excuses for you.” You didn't miss how he practically flinched. He had always blamed his busy life. Family. Work. You stopped caring about whatever excuse he gave you and realized it was just that. An excuse. “I’ve been telling myself for months that everything you guys didn’t do for me wasn’t because you didn’t care about me. It was because of the stress of your deployments is the reason none of you tell me when you get back from until it’s time to fuck. I tell myself it’s because of the fucked up situation of me being with all of you that makes it awkward to meet your families. Families you all have that I now know I’m not worthy of meeting.” He wanted to correct you. You were. You were worthy. He was an idiot. “It’s not that I need your excuses to make me feel like what you did was justified. No matter what it was, it was apparently to you because you did it.”
He took a step back, processing everything you had said. He had been selfish. You were the reliable constant in his life. Someone he believed he never disappointed. Someone he couldn't disappoint no matter how many times he fucked up.
You took the opportunity to slam the door. Quickly turning the lock before he had a chance to open it back up.
God...
That felt good.
You had spent that evening collecting their thing in case Kyle did show back up tomorrow. You wouldn't make their lives easier by sorting all their shit and organizing it. Everything. One box. Let them figure it out. You almost had a mind to add a shirt that you knew didn't belong to any of them just to have them argue over it. Or least make them think there was someone else...
You were almost tempted if not for the premise that you wanted them to realize this was their fault. Their fuck up. But now that you were officially all broken up, you were free game.
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onlyhereforangst · 21 days
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Violence ask game! 4 and 22!
4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?
ooooooh ok so shockingly i don’t block a lot of people. there was this one time back in ncis fandom days i got sick & tired of some gibbs-lovers’ bonkers takes and went on a blocking-spree so they’d stop hopping on my post acting stupid. oh and i guess any y/n writers that clog up ship tags get blocked on sight. but otherwise, i mute with no abandon. i need tumblr to come into the 21st century with this feature bc ive got 35 accounts muted on twt and its lovely. do i have any clue what happens in *** ****** fandom? absolutely not. BUT i dont see garbage takes & it’s a gloriously curated online experience 🥰
22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores
recently it’s been lucy’s actual, *canon* character arc!!! the level of writing on a gd procedural is miles & miles above other procedurals and it fucking kills me that it’s wasted on this fandom. if i couldve gotten this for ellick i mean 😭😭😭 historically, my favorite part of canon everyone ignored for ellick was nick having a literal jar of dirty ass lake water because he didn’t want to forget he almost lost ellie. idk it’s not necessarily “ignored” per say but the implications of it are not nearly as emphasized as they should be. this was two whole seasons before they kissed!! like!! this man was down SO bad!!!
choose violence bitches 🩷
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oatbugs · 1 month
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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seventh-district · 2 months
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.
#it is 5 hrs past my bedtime and i am awake listening to Two Hearts by Dermot Kennedy on loop and crying over Rotating Shifts. again.#i couldn’t resist the urge to read the latest chapter any longer but i knew when i did i’d get like this#so Why did i wait for my period to roll around. i have made. a silly decision lmaooo#i’ve complained abt it before but i’m conflicted about how much more sensitive it makes me#my nightmares usually don’t make me cry but oh i was a Wreck this morning#so why i picked tonight to read the fic that always makes me cry is beyond me#i have never met a fic before that had me in such an intense emotional grip#and it’s fucking hilarious bc it’s not that intense of a story!! like yeah there’s been devastating parts but i’m out here having to-#-take a break every single chapter bc i’ll read one line that hits my inner child like a truck and i have to take a minute to recover#but the whiplash this fic gives me is so fucking funny and the range in the storytelling from comedy to tragedy is just.. *scream-cries*#it has my favorite characterization of Sun and Moon that i have ever seen#this chapter wasn’t even that sad i’m just Making myself sad about it#but on another level it also makes me sad in the sense that i don’t think i’ll ever be able to write something that good..#all that i want out of my writing endeavors is to make one (1) person feel as strongly and as much as RS makes me feel#and i don’t know if i can do that. i don’t know if my writing has what it takes bc i can’t even describe exactly what it is#i don’t think it’s a science that can be replicated. things either connect with someone or they don’t#the way Sun goes from worryingly innocent ‘wdym we can’t invite strangers to live with us?’ ‘wdym we can’t adopt an adult that needs help?’#to fucking. tearing an animatronic in half in a fit of protective rage and blocking access to all dating apps to prevent you from-#-finding anyone else bc he’s your Special Friend and he can’t have his Daydream falling for anyone else!! no no!!#it’s not a new concept but i eat it tf up when Sun is actually the one you should fear the most#like no i don’t think he’d hurt Reader but i dread to think of the things he would do For them#the back and forth between childlike innocence and terrifying intelligence possessiveness and physical capability is just mmmmm 100/10#and don’t even get me started on Moon. or i Will start crying again#he’s ​like yeah dumbass of course i’m gonna save you every time some POS man tries to **** you. of course i will you fucking crater-head#but i will complain at you about it the Entire way home and then i will steal your fucking toilet paper and pack you a raw egg for lunch#because i hate you 🖤 but Sun loves you and we would both kill for you 🖤 also i drank all of your chocolate milk 🖤 also i hate you :)#anyways i am paraphrasing obviously and dear god i hope no one who actually reads RS sees this bc i do not want my 2am ramblings taken as-#-any kind of Official Thoughtful Analysis of the story ok pls pls pls let me be insane abt my favorite fic without having to be articulate#i just have so many fucking FEELINGS about them. i am unwell.#i’m not even tagging this i’m just hitting post and going to sleep goodnight
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trans-xianxian · 2 months
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having trauma and making new friends is like. before I say this it's funny. it's not sad it's funny you can laugh I'm making a joke
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gayvampyr · 2 years
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misandry truthers dni you’re all annoying and misogynistic
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lildoodlenoodle · 10 months
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When you totally missed the ‘spn cult that has apparently been active for years that felt apart a couple months ago’ existence and then the subsequent call out posts that are currently happening because:
You are not on twitter(not getting an account was one of the best decisions you’ve ever made)
The only spn people you follow all have names like CastielsPussyLips and BarbieBimboCas
You’ve been hyper focused on non-spn things for a BIT
And you only find out about all of this because you follow ONE big creator who was apparently APART of this cult and later became a victim of said cult and was one of the people who left before it fell apart, who posted an apology post.
So naturally, out of pure curiosity(mistake), look up the situation(Mistake) to see what people are talking about on tumblr(MISTAKE) to see some people comparing this discord(?) group to evangelical Christian cults and SCIENTOLOGY(also POLICE BRUTALITY???) only to click on some of their blogs to find mostly winc*st or see posts defending one of the actors for getting a second amendment g*n tattoo.
The mental whiplash was INSANE. To be clear, I only have a v vague understanding of what the fuck happened and I have no plans to learn more but yea crazy crazy crazy.
Lesson of the day for people new to fandom that we ALL are still learning: Don’t build relationships on hating someone/something.
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wombywoo · 6 months
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Ok! I've finally decided to put together a (somewhat) comprehensive tutorial on my latest art~
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Please enjoy this little step-by-step 💁‍♀️
First things first--references!
Now I'm not saying you have to go overboard, but I always find that this is a crucial starting point in any art piece I intend on making. Especially if you're a detail freak like me and want to make it as realistic as possible 🙃
As such, your web browser should look like this at any given point:
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Since this is a historical piece, it means hours upon hours of meaningless research just to see what color the socks are, but...again. that isn't, strictly, necessary 😅
Once I've compiled all my lovely ref pics, I usually dump them into a big-ass collage ⬇️
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(I will end up not using half of these, alas :'D)
Another reference search for background material, and getting to showcase our models of choice for this occasion~
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When picking a reference for an actor or model, the main thing I keep in mind (besides prettiness 🤭) is lighting and orientation. Because I already kinda know what pose I'm gonna go with for this piece, I can look for specific angles that might fit the criteria. I should mention that I am a reference hound, and my current COD actor ref folder looks like this:
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Also keep in mind, if you're using a ref that you need to flip, make sure you adjust accordingly. This especially applies to clothing, as certain things like pants zippers and belt buckles can be quite specific ☝️
Now that we've spent countless hours googling, it's time to start with a rough sketch:
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It doesn't have to be pretty, folks, just a basic guideline of where you want the figures to be.
The next step is to define it more, and I know this looks like that 'how to draw an owl' meme, but I promise--getting from the loose sketch above to below is not that difficult.
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Things to keep in mind are--don't go too in-depth with the details, because things are still subject to change at this point. In terms of making a suitable anatomically-correct sketch, I would suggest lots of studying. This doesn't even have to be things like figure drawing, I genuinely look at people around me for inspiration all the time. Familiarize yourself with the human form, and things like weight, proportions, posing will seem a little more feasible.
It's also important at this stage to consider your composition. Remember to flip the canvas frequently to make sure you're not leaning to one side too often. I'm sure something can be said for the spiral fibonacci stuff, which I don't really try to do on purpose, but I think keeping things like symmetry and balance in mind is a good start ✌️
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Next step is just blocking in the figures. Standard. No fuss 👍
Now onto the background!
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It's frankly hilarious how many people thought I was *hand-drawing* these maps and stuff 😂😂 I cannot even begin to comprehend how insanely difficult that would be. So yeah, we're just taking the lazy copy and paste way out 🤙
I almost always prepare my backgrounds first, and this is mostly to get a general color scheme off the bat. For collage work, it's really just a matter of trial and error, sticking this here, slapping this there, etc. I like to futz around with different overlay options until I've found a nice arrangement. Advice for this is just--go nuts 🤷‍♀️
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Next, I add a few color adjustments. I tend to make at least 2 colors pop in an art piece, and low and behold, they usually tend to be red and blue ❤️💙There's something about warm/cool vibes, idk man..
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Now we move on to coloring the figures. This is just a basic block and fill, not really defining any of the details yet.
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Next, we add some cursory values. Sloppy airbrush works fine, it'll look better soon I promise 🙏
And now--rendering!
I know a lot of beginner artists are intimidated by rendering, and I can totally understand why. It's just one of those things you have to commit to 💪
I've decided to show a brief process of rendering our dear Johnny's face here:
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Starting off, I usually rely on the trusty airbrush just to get some color values going. Note--I've kept my sketch layer on top, but feel free to turn it on and off as you work, so as to not be too bound to the sketch. For now, it's just a guideline.
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This next stage may look like a huge jump, but it's really just adding more to the foundation. I try to think of it like putting on make-up in a way~ Adding contours, accentuating highlights. This is also where I start adding in more saturation, especially around areas such as ears, nose and lips. Still a bit fuzzy at this point, but that's why we keep adding to it 💪
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A boy has appeared! See--now I've removed most of the line layer, and it holds up on its own. I'll admit that in order to achieve this realistic style, you'll need lots and lots of practice and skill, which shouldn't be discouraging! Just motivate yourself with the prospect of getting to look at pretty men for countless hours 🙆‍♀️
I'll probably do a more in-depth explanation about rendering at some point, but let's keep this rolling~
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Moving forward is just a process of adding to the figures bit by bit. I do lean towards filling in each section from top to bottom, but you can feel free to pop around to certain parts that appeal to you more. I almost always do the faces first though, because if they end up sucking, I feel less guilty about scrapping it 😂 But no--I think he's pretty enough to proceed 😚
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They're coming together now 🙆‍♀️ Another helpful tip--make sure you reuse color. By that, I mean--try to incorporate various colors throughout your piece, using the eyedropper tool to keep a consistent palette. I try to put in bits of red and blue where I can
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Here they are fully rendered! Notice I've made a few subtle changes from the sketch, like adjusting the belt buckles because I made a mistake 😬 Hence why you shouldn't put too much stock in your initial sketch~
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The next step is more of a stylistic choice, but I usually go over everything with an outline, typically in a bright color like green. Occasionally, I can just use my initial line layer, but for this, I've made a brand new, cleaner line 👍
And the final step is adjusting the color and adding some text:
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Tada!! It's done!
All in all, this took me the better part of a week, but I have a lot of free time, so yeah ✌️
I hope you appreciated that little walkthrough~ I know people have been asking me how I do my art, but the truth is--I usually have no clue how to explain myself 😅 So have this half-assed tutorial~
As a bonus, here is a cute (cursed) image of Johnny without his mustache:
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A baby, a literal infant child !!! who put this wee bairn on the front lines ??! 😭
Anyway! peace out ✌️
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booppooo · 4 months
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play ball!
*warnings: basketballplayer!ellie, afab reader insert, oral (reader and Ellie receiving), fingering - very Toni inspired from The Wilds teehee, oui’d (trigger warning - science)
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At first she was just your lab partner. You’d been sat next to each other by chance, in a class that had a very torn ‘fan base’ so to speak. Luckily, when Ellie grumbled, “Fuckin’ hate chem. Physics is the cooler science. Only reason why we got on the moon,” you knew this semester was going to be mildly more tolerable.
But some days you couldn’t tell if she was trying to tip-toe over the line between peers, friends, and a more intense third option. Some days it was strict - work on the lab, punch in the numbers, hand in the work to the professor. Other days, she’d crack a dad joke or two and watch you laugh. Then once in a while, you got the occasional lingering touch or gaze. Like one time, she needed to grab a ruler from the front of the class, and as she stood from her stool and slipped behind you, her palms fell to your shoulders and squeezed.
You could try to argue she was trying to build a friendship, something innocent and platonic. However…Ellie was a walking stereotype: short nails, insanely hot tattoos, carabiner hooked around her belt loop, the occasional lip bite when you giggled at her, and not to mention she was on the basketball team. Truly, all she was missing was the Nike headband and the high bun (which you were admittedly relieved she didn’t wear).
“Hey, let me ask you something,” she sat the marble at the top of the ramp you’d been working on for the better part of a week.
“Okay…” you mindlessly answered, readying the stopwatch on your phone.
She let the marble go and watched as it rolled down, not paying too much mind to Ellie studying you instead, “Do you want to come to my game this weekend?”
Color erupted in your cheeks. The marble rolled onto the floor and the stop watch ran beyond the time it needed to.
Ellie scoffed and left her seat to get the item rolling across the linoleum. Your eyes watched her every move as you formulated the right response. Hopefully the slight tremble in your hand wouldn’t give away your excitement.
“Yeah. When is it?” You swallowed, face ablaze.
Ellie threw the marble up in front of your face and caught it midair, clearly trying to pull a reaction from you, “Saturday at one. I want to see you in the stands.”
-
And see you in those fucking stands she did. You sat directly in the middle, removed from the families there to support their daughters darting across the court. You remembered Ellie briefly mentioning her adoptive dad a few times, so you scanned the seats to see who could be blessed enough to call her their child.
When the whistle from the middle of the court rang your eyes searched around for a familiar head of auburn hair. She had it tied half up half down, arms on full display and a hilariously serious look on her face. You knew that the basketball team wasn’t anything super special considering the football team got all the attention, and also the fact that you lost most of the games. According to Ellie, it was surprising you were even playing this far in the season. Regardless, the orange ball zipped around the court that was filled with shredded women squeaking their sneakers on the waxed floor. The sport was much more fast paced than you had anticipated. But the real excitement picked up when Ellie’s lengthy fingers finally got a chance at the ball. She was dribbling down the opposite end of the court, trying to get to a decent place where she could shoot or at least pass it to someone. Two players from the opposite team managed to get in front of her and block her. They had some inches on her, but surely that didn’t intimidate her. She was quickly looking for a way out.
“Shoot it Ellie! C’mom!” A man with salt and pepper hair shot from his seat. His voice boomed scarily - that must be her dad.
She flashed a look over her shoulder, smirked at him, then had just enough time to catch your spot in the stand. Thankfully she had kept her feet moving, swishing the ball through her legs and dodging possible steals. After briefly meeting your gaze, she got back to business, tricking the players out of her next move and running toward the net, completing a layup.
The man cheered for Ellie with his thick southern drawl, “That’s it! That’s my girl!” You couldn’t help but clap and cheer alongside everyone else.
As she sauntered back over to the other end of the court, she brought the end of her jersey to her brow to wipe away the sweat reflecting so deliciously from the lights - not before winking at you of course. You felt like a silly school girl when your knees pressed together. You couldn’t think of a single other thing you wanted to be doing this fine Saturday afternoon. Well…one thing of course that involved some of Ellie’s obviously skilled fingers.
Another play began and more squeaking sneakers filled the court. It was getting pretty intense, a constant back and forth for what felt like ages - supposedly the defense on both teams was excellent. Finally it seemed like someone was starting to give, unfortunately it was your schools team, because one of the players from the opposite team was desperately trying to make a shot but Ellie was just a little too good at playing defense. You were amazed at how quick she was. Sadly that wasn’t enough, because the player got by her to make the shot, but as they did you watched their elbow jab right into Ellie’s nose. In the same instant the ball went through the net, whistles were blown and people were running over to Ellie.
“That was on purpose!” Ellie’s dad spat angrily.
Through the small crowd around her you saw all the blood on her hand and even more trailing from her nose. You gasped and covered your mouth with your hands. As you watched her get ushered over to the rest of the team, you watched how Ellie’s stare fixated on the rotten player who had gotten her. When she saw her window, she took it, slipping out of the group and over to the player.
“Motherfucker!” A mixture of blood and spit splattered across the players face.
If people hadn’t stepped in sooner, a full blown fight would’ve broken out. Needless to say, Ellie was sat out for the rest of the game after seeing first aid.
-
“Let me look at that-“ you awkwardly watched Ellie’s dad hold her jaw and turn her face from side to side, “look at that goddamn bruise, she needs to be kicked off the team.” He rambled on.
“Dad, stop it-“ Ellie smacked away his hand, her eyes darting to you from behind him.
He studied her for a moment, before deciding his anger was getting him no where. He knew his daughter probably wanted to sit down and get some water, probably get a shower, too. He sighed, “Well, I’m glad you stuck up for yourself. Good work,” he brought her in for a hug and patted her on the back, “proud of you kiddo. Love you, see you soon.”
You tried your best to hold back an admirable giggle as he turned and passed by you, tilting his head and briefly greeting you with a, “Howdy.”
So you greeted Ellie with the same thing, smiling widely.
“Texas, my dad is from Texas - oh shut up.” Ellie shoved your shoulder playfully.
Now you got to see the bruising on her right eye, there was a bandage across the bridge of her pretty nose hiding the scratch. Thinking back on it, she was pretty hot to watch when she was angry. Now she had something to show for it, so every time you looked at her the scene would replay in your head.
You bit your lip shyly, “You’re uh, you’re alright.” You wished you had researched the sport a little more so you had something to actually talk about.
“Mm - really?”
“Yeah.”
Ellie ran her tongue across her teeth, “Well, I’m glad you think so. Maybe you can tell me just how alright I am tonight when I pick you up.”
How was she so clever? So quick?
Once again she had you fighting for words, “Sure, uhm…what time?”
“You have anything going on at eight?” You shook your head, “Now you do. I’ll see you then.”
Some of that southern charm must’ve rubbed off onto her over the years.
-
“Oh fuck! Ellie-“
Your fingers were deep in her hair not sure where else to grab in the backseat of her car. Between your moans, the faint music and the absolutely sinful squelching being born from Ellie being knuckle deep in you, it was hard to orient yourself at all. Her tongue sucked and danced on your clit like it was part of her daily routine - and thankfully she did because it had your limbs turning to jelly. Eventually your greed got the best of you because your hips began to grind back against her tongue.
“Shiiiit…”
You pushed her head closer to you, shamelessly using her mouth as a sex toy, because that’s what it essentially was. And she didn’t object either, moaning and panting into your cunt like she was the one with three fingers deep. Each roll of your hips pushed you closer to your climax, adding a whine or pout to your moans.
It seemed though, Ellie had different plans, because her free arm came down on your hips, holding you steady in place. As she pumped into you, her other fingers attacked your clit with a quick waving motion, sending stimulation to you at an almost ungodly pace.
Through your quickened breaths you swore, “Fuckfuckfuckfuck-!”
“Uh huh, c’mom give it to me.” Ellie purred, watching your cunt closely.
Your brain had omitted anything that wasn’t Ellie and your orgasm, leaving you to just moan out a warning that was your approaching orgasm. And she knew, especially when you started clamping down on her fingers, hips jolting, and the borderline scream coming from your lips.
“That’s it, cum on my fingers.”
You began to notice the way Ellie was able to get you do just about anything. She wasn’t big on asking, more on instructing. And you loved it. Especially when she hit you with:
“Okay, my turn.”
You weren’t given much time to come back to earth after the orgasm that just hit you, but the sound of Ellie’s zipper sobered you up pretty quick. As she shimmied off her jeans, you eyed her hips poking out, and the little copper happy trail leading below her black boxers. Drool was pooling under your tongue. She reached for the hem of her boxers, but you pushed her hands aside, taking it upon yourself to rip them down her legs yourself. Your palms must’ve been cold from the way goosebumps littered her thighs as your palms ran down the inners of them; or she was just that excited. She sucked in air through her teeth at the sensation of your lips exploring her hips, licking along her happy trail, feeling the muscle tighten beneath it. Ellie was really beginning to feel the heat building in thr backseat now. There was the undeniable scent of her car fresher, weed, and pussy. Bath and Body Works should take notes.
Starting with your fingers, you dipped into the warm wetness of her cunt and spread her slick, licking off what was left. You didn’t waste another second and let your tongue and lips latch onto her clit, making her moan lowly, leaving you to grumble one of your own. Testing the waters you paid attention to what made her moan and what didn’t, continuing to tease the idea of slipping in a finger or two to see how she would react. Every time your finger circled near her entrance she pushed closer to you and eventually let her fingers snaked into your hair. With you sucking on her clit, she welcomed your middle finger, and you enjoyed how she felt around you.
“Yes-!” She encouraged.
As you massaged her cunt, you marveled in the sounds that she made. You noticed she tried to put on a stoic front, but after you got in a second finger it seemed whatever face she was trying to put on dropped into something that was akin to a porn star. She seemed borderline primal and desperate, grinding down on your fingers and wanting you to get messy with your tongue.
“Faster babe..”
And when you obeyed, her head tilted back gloriously and she wasn’t afraid to let loose. She pushed into you as much as you pumped into her with your burning wrist and jaw. As much as your muscles were begging for relief and a break, your mind was taking snapshots of her manhandling your head and groaning with half-lidded eyes. Not to mention the sultry-ness of her voice:
“Just like that.”
“Right there babe.”
“Fuck - that feels good.”
If you could get those words on loop in your head forever you would. That - or the sensation of her beginning to tighten around your fingers and roll her hips harder onto your face.
She struggled to catch her breath and do you the decency of warning you: “Cumming, I’m cumming I’m cumming-!”
Her thighs squeezed on each side of your head and she took fistfuls of your hair. Her eyes squeezed closed, jaw dropping and a deeply satisfied, “Fuuuck,” rolling off her tongue. A new flavor of sweetness greeted your tastebuds and you caught yourself feverishly lapping at her like a fucking animal. And you would’ve until the sun came up, but Ellie began to whimper softly and squirm away from your advances.
So you let up, gently removing yourself from her and happily licking your fingers clean. She had one hand cradling the back of her head with her eyes closed, desperate to catch her breath. Under her breath she swore and ran her hands down her face to let herself know she was still human. Once your eyes met, you grew shy again, immediately taken aback by how sexily intimidating Ellie’s stare could be - even when she looked fucked out.
She took you gently by the jaw and led you toward her face to envelope you in a sloppy, wet kiss. You knew her goal was to taste herself, and you hoped she did, especially when she hummed as your tongues swirled. It was enough to have you pushing her back against the seats again…but you refrained. Pulling away from the kiss left you breathless.
Ellie looked into your eyes for a beat, “Wanna smoke?”
“With my lab partner? Sure.”
“Ouch.”
You both threw back on your pants and made your way into the front seats to spark up once more. How were you supposed to face her in class now?
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all-the-fish · 3 months
Text
Oh, you know, just the usual internet browsing experience in the year of 2024
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Some links and explanations since I figured it might be useful to some people, and writing down stuff is nice.
First of all, get Firefox. Yes, it has apps for Android/iOS too. It allows more extensions and customization (except the iOS version), it tracks less, the company has a less shitty attitude about things. Currently all the other alternatives are variations of Chromium, which means no matter how degoogled they supposedly are, Google has almost a monopoly on web browsing and that's not great. Basically they can introduce extremely user unfriendly updates and there's nothing forcing them to not do it, and nowhere for people to escape to. Current examples of their suggested updates are disabling/severly limiting adblocks in June 2024, and this great suggestion to force sites to verify "web environment integrity" ("oh you don't run a version of chromium we approve, such as the one that runs working adblocks? no web for you.").
uBlockOrigin - barely needs any explanation but yes, it works. You can whitelist whatever you want to support through displaying ads. You can also easily "adblock" site elements that annoy you. "Please log in" notice that won't go away? Important news tm sidebar that gives you sensory overload? Bye.
Dark Reader - a site you use has no dark mode? Now it has. Fairly customizable, also has some basic options for visually impaired people.
SponsorBlock for YouTube - highlights/skips (you choose) sponsored bits in the videos based on user submissions, and a few other things people often skip ("pls like and subscribe!"). A bit more controversial than normal adblock since the creators get some decent money from this, but also a lot of the big sponsors are kinda scummy and offer inferior product for superior price (or try to sell you a star jpg land ownership in Scotland to become a lord), so hearing an ad for that for the 20th time is kinda annoying. But also some creators make their sponsored segments hilarious.
Privacy Badger (and Ghostery I suppose) - I'm not actually sure how needed these are with uBlock and Firefox set to block any tracking it can, but that's basically what it does. Find someone more educated on this topic than me for more info.
Https Everywhere - I... can't actually find the extension anymore, also Firefox has this as an option in its settings now, so this is probably obsolete, whoops.
Facebook Container - also comes with Firefox by default I think. Keeps FB from snooping around outside of FB. It does that a lot, even if you don't have an account.
WebP / Avif image converter - have you ever saved an image and then discovered you can't view it, because it's WebP/Avif? You can now save it as a jpg.
YouTube Search Fixer - have you noticed that youtube search has been even worse than usual lately, with inserting all those unrelated videos into your search results? This fixes that. Also has an option to force shorts to play in the normal video window.
Consent-O-Matic - automatically rejects cookies/gdpr consent forms. While automated, you might still get a second or two of flashing popups being yeeted.
XKit Rewritten - current most up to date "variation "fork" of XKit I think? Has settings in extension settings instead of an extra tumblr button. As long as you get over the new dash layout current tumblr is kinda fine tbh, so this isn't as important as in the past, but still nice. I mostly use it to hide some visual bloat and mark posts on the dash I've already seen.
YouTube NonStop - do you want to punch youtube every time it pauses a video to check if you're still there? This saves your fists.
uBlacklist - blacklists sites from your search results. Obviously has a lot of different uses, but I use it to hide ai generated stuff from image search results. Here's a site list for that.
Redirect AMP to HTML - redirects links from their amp version to the normal version. Amp link is a version of a site made faster and more accessible for phones by Bing/Google. Good in theory, but lets search engines prefer some pages to others (that don't have an amp version), and afaik takes traffic from the original page too. Here's some more reading about why it's an issue, I don't think I can make a good tl;dr on this.
Also since I used this in the tags, here's some reading about enshittification and why the current mainstream internet/services kinda suck.
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mazeinthemiroh · 11 months
Note
im not sure sent req or yet (-人-。) can i req skz when his friend pretend to be stay and carry a sign '__ marry me!' or shout 'that's my boy' at random event (¯ ▽ ¯)
stray kids when their best friend acts like a stay
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genre: crack, fluff
warnings: cursing
please like and reblog if you enjoy :))))
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chan
he's just happy you support him tbh. he doesn't mind how you support him so long as you're there for him lol. he gets a really good laugh when you're waving cringe or inappropriate signs at his concerts. you definitely tickle his funny bone when you pull stuff like that when he's literally doing his job. he can't help but laugh though because who wouldn't??
minho
he will stop to read your sign saying "marry me lee know" and smirk widely, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. might blow you a little kiss if you're lucky. he finds your little jokes and attempts like these to be very amusing and will never get tired of them, especially when you come to their concerts a lot just give him a little encouragement.
changbin
i mean he's used to his friends acting like fans; we saw how wooyoung was like in kingdom i live for them crumbs. changbin usually chuckles and plays along with you, making a joke out of it and pretty much encouraging this type of behaviour. he's honestly flattered because he knows no matter what type of jokes you pull, you do sincerely support him and his career.
hyunjin
debates on whether to ignore you or not most of the time. but of course, he can't ignore you for too long. you're the loudest one to scream his name in concerts, which says a lot. it's when you turn up to fansigns, unannounced, and he just bursts into his hearty laughter when he just sees you sitting them in front of him because he never expects you to do shit like this even though you do??
jisung
he thinks your little antics are hilarious but he's gotten so used to them now he almost expects it. what he didn't expect was you screaming 'HAN JISUNG' at the top of your lungs in the middle of a paparazzi shoot. the other fans were loud, sure, but you were louder. his face was shocked, but once he realised it was you, he couldn't stop laughing after that.
felix
he gets a little embarrassed or shy but he honestly doesn't mind in the slightest. he knows you're only playing around and honestly, he would do the same if the situation was the other way round. so even though he may pout and protest when he calls you out for your dramatic fan activities, he secretly loves it.
seungmin
will roll his eyes and ignore you, pretending he doesn't know you and acting like you're not even there. rude!! i personally wouldn't take that if i were you. might acknowledge you every now and then by pulling faces at you to make you laugh, but otherwise if you do anything to embarrass him he's blocking you irl 💀
jeongin
your antics are well-known to all the members as well as stays. they know you're besties with jeongin and that you also like to make an appearance during fansigns and concerts to show your support. so when you turn up to a fansign and yell 'innie, you're so handsome!' stays laugh and cheer once you finally get his attention, to which he usually grins shyly and covers his face.
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hollisxwrites · 3 months
Note
Hiii!!! I was wondering if you could do a Percy x Reader, where it’s a friends to lovers kind of thing, they have kind of a childish relationship, and they confess their feelings towards each other when Percy gets a bit jealous of the reader and Grover being close? If not that’s 100% okay! And either way I hope you have a good day or night xx🤍
our goat man friend did the underwater jig
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percy jackson x fem reader
word count: 1.6k maybe?
authors note: GUYS. i love you all. thank you for supporting me and my work, I have 3k notes now, and 70 followers. i owe this all to you, and i am so proud of the work that i have done so far. i think this is the most unserious fic i have written; i wrote this at one am, but i think it's cute and fluffy and silly. i hope you guys enjoy my dancing goat man that i love so much! also, so sorry if this is not exactly what you were looking for, anon, i just kind of took a silly idea and ran with it lol.
warnings: jealous percy!, curse words, a fish, this is so silly.
Percy Jackson was my best friend in the entire world, but he was also someone that I love more than my life itself. Ever since we met one faithful day in June, my first day of so-called summer camp, we became inseparable. The son of Poseidon was beautiful, to say the least, and he was endearing. Everyone in Camp loved him, which made everyone in Camp love me, as we were pretty much joined at the hip. Starting when we were thirteen, we would spend the night in his cabin together since we were both plagued by vivid nightmares that left us both restless. It started off as just sharing his cabin, but then it came to sharing a bed, and eventually, us holding each other for maximum nightmare prevention. We also trained together, more and more often the older we got, and we even broke the rules and ate every meal with each other. The young campers, once we turned seventeen and were seen as the ‘cool, older campers’ thought we were dating, and one of them went as far to say that we were married. I could see where someone young would assume that, but none of the older campers said anything…to our faces. I heard the rumors, but I chose to ignore them, Percy and I were just friends. We teased each other, of course, and made sex jokes to each other all of the time, but we were just friends, sadly.
I was in love with the Percy Jackson. He was everything I could ever want, but I blocked out my feeling in order to salvage our friendship that I held so dear. That didn’t stop me, however, from thinking about kissing him every time we laid in his bed together, every time his hand brushed against mine, and every time we spared, and he pinned me to the ground. We spent every single day together, and so, of course, his friends became my friends, and that includes his best friend, Grover.
Though Percy was always going to be my best friend, my home, I was quite the sociable person, and so I enjoyed spending time with everyone. Grover was hilarious, in a quiet way, and he kept me on my toes and my wit in tip top shape. I slowly began to start spending almost as much time with Grover as I did Percy, and nine times out of ten, Percy would tag along, making us a happy little trio that most definitely got along. This specific day, we were spending time at Percy’s favorite place on the Campgrounds, the lake.
I was chasing after Grover and Percy who had taken off spiriting through the woods after they heard some rustling in the trees that they thought was a monster, or even worse, Clarisse, but it just ended up being a cute little bunny. “Guys!” I panted out. “Wait up, please!”
Percy looked behind himself and at me. He gave me one of his award-winning smirks and said, “just run faster, bitch!”
Grover snorted rather unattractively at that, but the joke didn’t stop him from slowing his pace to let me catch up to him. “Don’t want you to get lost.” Grover winked, making me laugh at his comedic gesture.
“Stop flirting and hurry up, don’t want anyone to have the same idea as us!” Percy, from about thirty feet away, yelled, a sour tone in his voice.
“Ew, we are not flirting, Perc!” I yelled back, in an equally disgusted tone.
Grover rolled his eyes at both of us and lowered his voice just to address me. “When are you going to tell him, girl?” He massaged his temples. “He is goo-goo eyed for you.”
It was my turn to roll my eyes. “Never. I love him, but he doesn’t love me like that.”
Grover nearly groaned in annoyance. “{Reader}, I’m saying this because I am your friend, but you are acting like a dumbass. I have told you he loves you, and you love him, and why don’t you just act on it?”
Grover had been my wingman this entire time, encouraging me to grow some balls and ask the man of my dreams out. It all started this one time where, on a dare, someone asked Percy to kiss me, and he obliged without any protest. Putting two and two together, Grover decided that I liked Percy, and he liked me, and so we needed to date. That was three years ago. Nothing anywhere close to that, except this one time he kissed me on the cheek because…that’s beside the point.
“I will, Grover. I just don’t want to…”
My thought was cut off by us approaching the clearing where the man of the hour, the beautiful, Perseus Jackson stood, his arms crossed, and cheeks flushed from overexertion. “Took you guys soon enough! Let’s swim!”
Percy tossed his orange t-shirt aside and it took everything in my power not to stare. He was just too stunning. I followed suit, pulling off my athletic shorts and matching orange Camp shirt to reveal a deep blue swimsuit that I think showed off figure that I had acquired from training.
I dove in the water after Percy, and he scooped me into his freckled arms. “I like the swimsuit.” He said with a sheepish smile on his face.
“Thank you, Perc.” I said, my face flushed, but I pretended it was from the bright sun that was baking us.
Our moment was interrupted by Grover cannonballing right into the middle of our little bubble of unconfessed feelings, sending a tidal wave of water over Percy and I.
I wiped the water from my eyes when all of the sudden, Percy pushed me under the water. In the moment, I started to panic, a little bit, because I couldn’t breathe, but all of the sudden, I could. Percy was protecting me. My initial thought was, poor Grover, we’re abandoning him, but then my second thought was, holy shit, I’m underwater alone, in a bubble, with Percy fucking Jackson.
Percy smiled at me and hurried me along when we were finally able to touch the floor of the lake. I could see Grovers little goat feet treading water from above us, and it made both me and Percy giggle a little bit. Percy finally stopped pushing me along in his little bubble when we reached a beautiful cove of water lilies. I smiled at the boy in front of me, and he smiled back, a little awkwardly.
“Soooo…{Reader}.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck. I giggled awkwardly. “Percy.”
“I see you and Grover have gotten…closer.” His eyes were unreadable, and I had no idea where this was going.
“He’s a twenty-something year old goat man who I see as more of a father figure than anything else, Percy. I am a seventeen-year-old demigod who has no father figure in her life. We may have gotten closer, but it’s nothing like that.” I said, a matter-of-fact tone in my voice.
Percy looked embarrassed at this, probably thinking about how he didn’t really think his accusation through. “That’s very true.” His eyes avoided meeting mine, and he seemed suddenly very interested in a fish swimming by me.
“Why do you care?” I asked, genuinely wondering. Percy shrugged at this, not confessing his real reason for dragging to the bottom of a dam lake. “Look at me, Perc, why do you care?”
His eyes finally met mine. “Because you’re mine, and I don’t want someone else to look at you the way I want to.”
I was…flabbergasted…to say the least. I was not expecting that. “Of course, I am yours, but to what extent? We can’t keep dancing around each other, waiting for someone to finally break the tension surrounding us.”
At this, Percy pulled us closer together, our faces inches apart. “This tension?”
My breath faltered. “This exactly.”
Percy let us linger on the feeling of closeness without pressing our lips together. Our eyes met, and our noses nearly touched, but neither of us took the next step. I could feel him breathing, and I was sure he could feel me, and the electric energy of love sparking between that I was sure the fishes around us could feel it. “Kiss me, asshole.” I mumbled against his lips, and his next movement made my head spin.
The kiss was…magical. I was unable to think of anything, not even how to breathe. Percy’s lips were everywhere and nowhere all at once, and my hands found his hair almost by instinct. Before things could get a little too far, both of us looked up and almost had a heart attack. Grover was right above us doing a little jig in the water, holding his nose, trying not to inhale water.
“What the fuck, Grover!” Percy exclaimed, laughing hysterically, his hands still around my waist. Grover floated back up to the surface, probably going back up for air, and Percy and I smiled at each other, laughter seizing our bodies.
We paddled back up to the surface. “Grover, I will slaughter you.” I said, the huge smile on my face telling him that my threat was empty.
“I win a bet! I win a bet!” Grover sang, doing his little jig on the beach now. “I am so glad I do not have to listen to you guys pine over each other anymore!”
I gasped and looked at Percy who froze beside me. “You pined over me?”
“That’s a story for another day.” Percy said, stifling back a laugh.
The rest of the day was bliss, my new boyfriend and annoying, jigging goat friend by my side, making that day a day that I would always remember.
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colourstreakgryffin · 8 months
Note
Can we get Muzan and Kokushibo discussing Muzan's very menacing bratty spoiled, daughter's behavior towards other demons with Muzan defending her every action and seeing nothing wrong with her behavior (while she torment's Douma and Hantengu in the background?)
I think it would be hilarious, thank you for considering my ask<3~
Aaaa! That’s actually really cute in a weird way! I like this idea a lot, thank you, love!
Kibutsuji Muzan- True Angel
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“Lord Muzan…” Kokushibo asked softly, sat on his knees in a respectful manner as Muzan turned to his top Upper Moon and frowned slightly, annoyed as he had another duty to finish. What does he want? Muzan raises his hand without so much as a word, as a non-verbal sign that the six-eyed man can speak freely. “Lord Muzan… you need to… talk to the… young Lady” Kokushibo was planning to explain to his rather unforgiving Master about his concerns over his very menacing, spoiled, bratty daughter’s behaviours towards all the other Upper Moons
“What about my daughter, Kokushibo? I dare you to try tell me my daughter isn’t perfect” Muzan barked coldly, the second his servant mentioned his beloved daughter. How dare he think he could try tell him how to parent his daughter! Those harsh words he spat out couldn’t cut down Kokushibo’s confidence as the demon samurai muscled out a response in very little time, he was barely intimidated by his own Master. He needed to get his point across, the Upper Moons are continuously tortured by you, Muzan’s precious daughter
“I’m not… suggesting that… I just… need you to know… about what she… does to us” Muzan titled his head, displeased and annoyed but since he favoured the brother of his worst enemy severely, he was willing to hear him out. But whatever he may say will be such bullshit, he can already tell. “Okay. What is the problem, Kokushibo. Tell me” The blood reds glared, unreasonable traces of anger already rising. To him, anybody merely mentioning his daughter in a negative light is insulting her and he wouldn’t let any breathing being insult his precious love
“Have you seen… how she… treats us?” Muzan’s stroked eyebrow rose in confusion as he shakes his head no, arms crossed over his chest. What could you possibly do to the five demons coursing with his blood, a lone Hashira could not stand a chance against them. “She attacks us constantly…” Kokushibo remarked in his signature low voice, causing Muzan to be thrown back internally. Shock overflowing him, that claim is just ridiculous
“Attacks you? That’s nonsense” Muzan answered firmly and still deep in disbelief, sitting down before Kokushibo after a few seconds of thought, to meet with his hexa-eyes. Kokushibo shakes his head slowly in response without a word, his hands still curled up and laid in his lap, Muzan simply didn’t believe that his perfect princess pulls mischief and causes chaos behind his back. “She does… she treats Hantengu like… a scratching… post and treats Akaza… like a punching bag” As the two built men spoke in a rather passive-aggressive and firm aura
You laughed mischievously under her breath, your blood red eyes glaring hatefully at the whimpering, whining Upper Moon 4 laying on the floor beneath you as you raised your claws up to be seen by him. Hantengu cried out as you swiped at his face with a delighted grunt each time, blood staining your claws. The surrounding Upper Moons all reacted differently to you targeting one of their fellow Moons, most wanted to get away
Gyokko immediately dropped into the safety of his ceramic pot at the mere sight of you, as Akaza flinched in horror at you, shuffling to the edge of the many block-like building’s roof whilst Douma chuckled at you and your mericless attacking on the poor Hantengu, slowly faning his face with his golden fan. None of the Upper Moons knew Kokushibo was trying to convince their Master that his daughter is unnecessarily attacking them, since she can totally get away with doing whatever she wants
“Are you sure she isn’t playing with them? Dokusha has different ways to play, then most kids” Muzan barked in a meaningful, honest response as he didn’t bother to move, completely interested in hearing all his Upper Moon 1’s arguments over you and your supposedly despicable behaviour to anybody, other than him. But he truly couldn’t seen what the problem is, you are harmless. None of the Upper Moons should be cowering at you, this concept sounds like delusion to him
“No… playing isn’t striking until… we bleed…” “It sounds more like you’re all too weak to handle playing with a child who has claws” “Master… She doesn’t play with… us, she hurts us” “What is the problem with her being able to hone her skills? I don’t get the problem, Kokushibo”
As the argument grew up and the voices rose, you leaped at Douma once you were done with the bleeding and pathetically sobbing Hantengu. Snatching his luxurious fan from his hand whilst you pinned him down as he chuckles at you, not even flinching at you stabbing it right though his eye. Your malicious grin spread as you purposefully twisted the impaled item in the Upper Moon 2’s socket, hoping he’d respond in any form. Their torment was your pleasure, but you hissed annoyed when Douma laughed louder and lifted a hand to pat your hair
He isn’t in pain?! How dare he mock you! You always get what you want and you want him to fear you! You hissed outloud, stamping on the fan as you kneed his stomach firmly. The closed fan dug deeper into his skill and spit out more of his disgusting red blood onto the cloor. Hantengu whimpered, shying into the nearby corner as his wounds healed whilst Akaza avoided watching the scene only a few metres besides him, trying his best to not intervene
If he were to try stop you, Muzan would have his head in a instant…
Muzan, on the other end of the gigantic marvellous open arena, didn’t even notice the way you attacked his Upper Moons as he continued to push back on every piece of evidence of your cruel bratty behaviour towards his loyal soldiers, presented by the most trustworthy man he has. Kokushibo didn’t want to give up, believing he had the most chance to convince his Master into trusting his every word he spoke about you. Muzan truly didn’t want to take his top’s remarks and he was tempted to ignore the concerns. Since his precious baby is a angel…
Why would she hurt anybody?
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ghosts-bandwagon · 1 year
Note
can we have a headcannon of y/n (female) thats throwing dark humour around everytime and have 141 + Rudy, Alejandro nd konig react to her lmao 🤣
Can we have that? 💜 Thank you
Girl. Literally me. (I give my coworkers whiplash but they dish it pretty good too lmao)
Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley:
Might actually get a decent laugh out of him, we’ve all heard his horrendous hilarious jokes, so we all know he can dish it, but can he take it? Depends on the type of humor
If it’s self-depreciating, probably not. Doesn’t really get it? Like he does but he sees you too positively for the humor to click.
Unalive jokes? Definitely not. Hates hearing it from you even if you’re laughing about it, so if you want to make them, you better be cheeky about it (“Head down, sergeant you’ll get spotted.” “Aw sweet, you think so?” You don’t have to be near him or even see him to feel his glare)
Jokes about your traumas? Not super keen on it but if you’re at a point in your life that you feel ok enough to laugh about it, he’s not one to take wind out of your sails (“Damn, this drink hits harder than my dad.” “Sweetheart. Please.”
But if your jokes are similar to his, then your chances of getting a laugh out of him went up exponentially (he thinks he’s so god damn funny and he’s right. king.)
“How do you turn a salad into a Cesar salad?”
“How?”
“Stab it 23 times.” Soap audibly groaned,
“That’s my girl.”
All in all, you’ll get a deep sigh with pinching the bridge of his nose for every joke you make, and maybe you’ll get a pretty laugh from him (god I bet his laugh is so nice 😭)
John ‘Soap’ MacTavish:
(laughs nervously) what the fuck?
He’s heard Ghost’s jokes firsthand, so the dark humor isn’t new to him. He might even laugh with you and crack a few of his own
Honestly, as long you’re having a laugh he’s not really that worried (still a little worried tho)
He trusts that if you’re feeling particularly bad about something, you’d talk to him about it and he’s here for that
He kind of enjoys the theatre of it, the dramatic reactions to something so seemingly mundane,
“So when are you gonna take me out?”
“To dinner? We just ate, bonnie.”
“… not what I meant but I love where your heads at.”
“Not in a million years.” He laughs kissing your temple and squeezing you against him
“So you’re saying there’s a chance? It’s just a matter of when, got it. Thanks babe, I owe you”
John Price:
He’s not thrilled about it but he’s worked with Ghost so he’s somewhat built a tolerance
He knows you sometimes use dark humor as a coping mechanism but he’ll tease you saying you should come with a warning label
He’s definitely choked at hearing some of the things come out of your mouth, at least the jokes relating to your own traumas, those always give him whiplash
He finds your situational dark humor much funnier than anything you might say that involves you being harmed, even if it is a joke that’s kind a nightmare scenario for him
Those will definitely get a chuckle out of him, just please stop making jokes about yourself, he loves you a little too much to stomach them
“What does my dad have in common with Nemo?” He refuses to answer, he knows, he fucking knows
“They both can’t be found.”
God damn it, sweetheart
Kyle ‘Gaz’ Gerrick:
He’ll join you for sure lmao
He’ll see you sparring on the mats with Soap and he sees you land a particularly rough kick that he managed to block
“Damn babe, that was clean. Now do it right here.” He’s pointing at his temple, you laugh and throw your sweaty towel at him
You’re out on recon and you’re making your way towards the targeted area,
“I’d be terrible if I was discovered, sure hope there aren’t any snipers to take me out. That’d be awful.”
Price groaned even as Kyle stifled a chuckle,
“Come on, love, we’re a bit too good to let that happen to you.”
“That’s the real tragedy, honestly.”
“Enough, you two.”
König:
He thinks you’re funny but low key a little worried at how easily the jokes come to you
But if you’re laughing and having a good time, then so is he!
Sometimes you really do say some crazy things and he doesn’t know whether to laugh or to hug you
He likes the jokes that have nothing to do with you much better, you’d be sitting at a briefing in the far corner when you lean in and whisper quietly,
“Köni, what’s red and bad for your teeth?”
“Hm?”
“A brick.”
He stifles a laugh and shakes his head, you can see the corners of his eyes crinkle as he tries to hide the smile.
Alejandro Vargas:
Honestly, he kind of gives me the vibe of “telling a joke becomes receiving a lecture”
Like you’ll make a joke and look at him and he’s deadpanned,
“Mi amor, that’s no laughing matter.” And then he goes into a full lecture about why what you said was out of pocket and a little hurtful
It’s not that he doesn’t understand the humor he’s just concerned
But, he prefers the goofier jokes I feel like,
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.”
“Mensa.” He pushes your shoulder playfully with a laugh.
Dumb jokes like that get a good laugh out of him, just don’t make them about you please he loves you so much and he will lecture you
Rodolfo Parra:
Mortified in Spanish
“Mi vida, please don’t make those jokes.”
They break his poor little heart :( he loves you so much it makes him sad to hear make such harsh jokes about yourself or even see such awful things
He sighs every time he hears one of your jokes and gives this look 🥺
He doesn’t like that you joke about yourself or the things that have happened to you like that
He understands that humor is sometimes a coping mechanism, but he’d much rather talk through the things you’re joking about
He just cares about you so god damn MUCH
But if they’re nonsensical, then he’ll chuckle quietly,
“You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving.”
“What? Amor you definitely-”
“You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.”
“Dios mío, amor.” He chuckles.
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pileofmush · 4 months
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i accidentally deleted a cwismas request, i'm sorry anon :c. i hope u find this & tysm for ur hilarious request!
request: luffy + “tongue got stuck to a metal pole”?  (i just think it’s very fitting LOL and i love how u write luffy so x))
⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆
“I can’t believe you sometimes, Lu,” you groan and throw your hands to the sky. How do you keep ending up in these ridiculous predicaments? Your love, your dreams, your hope—somehow, someway wound up with his tongue glued to a metal pole. “Only cartoon characters get their tongues stuck to poles,” you stress. “We are not cartoon characters!”
“I’m sawry!” says Luffy, body limp against the pole.
“We’re not even a block away from my house!” you whisper-yell.
“I’m sawry!” says Luffy.
“Get off the damn pole!”
“I’m twying!” whines Luffy.
You glance at your house and contemplate throttling your longtime boyfriend.
Why oh why did you choose today of all days to introduce your boyfriend to your family? Christmas is overrated—you should’ve chosen another day. You bet your entire family’s peering through the blinds right now, watching this tragedy unfold.
And why oh why did Luffy decide to lick a pole on the way to your childhood home? He shrugs when you ask him so. “Zoro durred meh,” he slurs.
Zoro…
Zoro dared him.
The words take a little while to process. You blink, dropping your face in your palms. “Oh God,” you moan, “I’m in love with an idiot.”
When you look back up, Luffy’s there, right in front of you. You startle; he stares, oddly solemn. “You’re in love with me?” he asks, voice cracked with frost.
You freeze.
A few seconds pass by. Neither of you move, as you consider your words.
You—well. You are.
“I am,” you repeat aloud, avoiding his eyes. Your arms slowly come up to fold across your chest. “I mean, of course I am. Why else would I be taking you to meet my parents?” you finish with a shrug.
Luffy takes in your words, nods, then tackles you into a snow bank. You wheeze, head spinning, but your heart is full of joy. You don’t think he’s rejecting you, if this has anything to show for it. But you can’t think much, anyway. The only thing you can register is the cold, damp snow, and Luffy’s wild, contagious laughter, and the freezing pair of hands racing up your sides.
Luffy does end up with a snowball to the face when he gets a little too eager, though.
“There’s no way I’m kissing you when you just made out with a pole, Lu.”
The pole-kisser sticks out his tongue. “Don’t be jealous!”
“I’m not jealous… Wha—put your tongue away!”
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